#also this is what happens when im allowed to run with thoughts of ok but what if jyl COULD cultivate

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.1

masterlist

ellie williams x fem! reader (ur kind of a girly girl in this one sorry)

summary: you’re one of the luckiest people in the world as one of the few families that managed to gain entrance to the most exclusive safezone on earth. after living 19 years of your life in a soft and forgiving world, a lab accident sends you across the country to jackson, wyoming, entirely unprepared and unaware of what awaits you in the real world. its a good thing u run into a hot lesbian wink wink nudge nudge

a/n: now listen now hear me out i know this plot sounds kooky asf and im sorry i literally thought this shit up in a covid fever dream. but anyway i basically blacked out at the keyboard and have about 6k words to show for this weekend and no completed hw. i can’t believe im writing. this im so sorry

warnings: ellie is mean asf at first, reader is clueless and cannot do a pushup, you’re also a little bit of a snob and have a fixation on etiquette.  i promise it gets better just bear w me lMAO. she/her pronouns for the reader, v vanilla violence and explicit language. kinda enemies to lovers vibe

im so sorry u guys idk what got into me this is the goofiest au i’ve ever written ok but i just want ellie to get to learn abt the stars and shit after all she’s been thru she deserves it ok enjoy part 2 coming whenever i finish it.

wc: 6k

It wasn’t that you didn’t know that something bad had happened to the rest of the world. You did. Of course you did. You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that there was maybe something else going on when no one was allowed outside of the walls and anyone who returned told hushed stories of decimated buildings and piles of corpses.

It was just difficult to grasp the idea of the world you knew no longer existing outside the bounds of the city. To anyone before the pandemic, you’re sure that you lead what seemed like a normal life for any privileged kid.

You had two parents, both of whom loved you very much. You went to an elementary school, then a middle school, and then eventually high school and university. You went shopping with your friends. You watched movies and ate shitty junk food and had first kisses and went on ice cream dates. You studied what captivated your interest the most—space—and threw your soul into learning about the physics of the universe.

You laid on your dorm bed, playing with the edges of your pink comforter as you gossiped with your roommate, Irena, about the professor that she thought was hot and the boy who tried to harass you for your number after you’d finished up getting lunch.

You lived a normal life, which is pretty ironic, because the only reason you got to say that was because you were born to not-normal people who had been at the right place at the right time when the world fell apart.

You see, when everyone got sick, some areas got hit harder than others. And your parents, who were vacationing in some swanky exclusive Canadian resort that only the elite knew about, happened to hit the jackpot.

Not only was their vacation spot the one area in North America with a significant metropolitan population that managed to get enough time to adequately prepare, they happened to be traveling with some big-wig execs that knew a guy who knew a guy who was in the process of evacuating and putting the final touches on a safe zone, Terranova, intended for only the highest rungs of North American society.

So, there you were. Some 25 years or so after the world as your ancestors knew it fell to shit—and you were sipping cappuccinos and getting facials without a care in the world. All because of a lucky vacation.

And, for the record, it’s not that you were ungrateful. You knew that you were lucky to be living in the last place on earth with a semblance of normalcy. What you didn’t know, however, was just how lucky you were, and you didn’t find this out until you made that one stupid mistake in Gunther’s lab.

~

“Morning, Y/N!” called out Professor Gunther, a short, squatty man with a receding hairline so impressive that his forehead now ended halfway up his scalp.

“Morning, Professor,” you said, setting your bag down on the desk, winding your long scarf from around your neck and running a hand through your hair to get the tangles out. The wind outside had been especially fierce for February, which was not ideal given that you'd forgotten your hat at home.

“Guess what I’ve got?” Gunther was smiling, his teeth perfect white squares.

You gasped. “No. It’s already here?”

He said nothing; instead, he pushed forward a slightly battered box with dents and various smudges and marks that were telltale indicators for outside shipments.

“No way,” you said, pulling it into your hands. For a moment you debated using your nails to open the seam, but you’d just gotten them done, so you reached for a pair of scissors on the table.

“This is even more than we need,” you told Gunther, reaching in to pull out a spool of wire that shimmered under the lab lights. “Can I just hook it up now? Or is there something else I should do?”

There was, in fact, something that you should’ve done before going with your pliers and wire. Something about your model wasn’t quite right, but you’d figure that out a little too late.

You see, you and old Professor Gunther were attempting to build a prototype that would enable travel at the speed of light. It did sound insane—and you should’ve known that it was a pipe dream—but you were a space nerd with nearly limitless funding and support from one of the most famous surviving professors in the world. It had been Gunther’s pet project, one that you joined as a research assistant in your first year at the university. Once you’d caught wind of it, you couldn’t stay away, and you two quickly began to form a connection only understood by lonely and isolated academics.

“Go for it,” said Gunther, waving his hand dismissively.

Excitedly, you approached the table, your hands almost shaking as you held the wire. It was a fairly new invention, first used in the creation of Terranova and its walls to effectively make it invisible to the outside world. It boasted a variety of properties that made it academically fascinating and functionally useful. Gunther had had a suspicion that it would be useful in stabilizing the process of disseminating atoms to make light speed travel possible, so you’d placed the order for a couple of spools.

“And I think that’s it,” you said, using your pliers to shape the blunt edge that you had just clipped and plugging it into the circuit board. A purple sheen seemed to vibrate around the bundle of wires and boxes.

Gunther leaned over your shoulder, peering at everything through the spectacles perched on his pudgy nose. “Well done, dear. Say, before we turn this thing on and start running some preliminary tests, would you mind grabbing us some tea from the caf? My treat.”

“Of course,” you said, standing up and brushing your hands off. “Lapsang?”

He nodded. “And anything you’d like.”

You pulled my scarf back on, pulling it snugly around your neck and snatching your bag from the table. The walk to the cafeteria was short, but it was cold enough to require suiting up again. You ordered, paid with Gunther’s card, and sat quietly as you watched the snow fall outside.

It was a beautiful morning. The wind had died down, leaving the snow to fall from the gray skies in fat, puffy flakes. The city outside was quiet, with only the gentle hum of the occasional car to break the silence.

“Y/N! A Lapsang Souchong and a Jasmine Green?”

You leapt up and grabbed the two disposable cups, smiling widely at the barista. “Hey, would you mind throwing a bag of coffee in too?”

“Anything specific?” he asked.

“I don’t know anything about coffee,” you admitted. “Anything that isn’t decaf. It’s for my roommate.”

He nodded and rang you up for the coffee, and you were back on your way.

“My dear!” boomed Gunther when you came back, throwing the lab door open and nearly floating off the ground in excitement.

“Lapsang with a spot of honey, as always,” you said, passing the cup into his hands. The bite from the heat slowly faded from your palm—the barista had forgotten to put a sleeve on his cup.

“Lovely,” he said, setting it down next to you. “I’m just going to go ahead and flip the switch…keep your wits about you! Haha.”

“Ha,” you said, though suddenly you were getting more nervous. The longer you looked at the wires, the less sense they made. And was that two uncovered wires touching? ”Hey, wait, actually—”

Click.

A hum filled the room as the power flicked on. The bright white overhead lights flickered once, twice, and then went out. Something that smelled suspiciously like smoke filled the room.

“Fuck!” Gunther fumbled for the switch. You, similarly, lunged forward to see if you could manually disconnect the wires from the input. “It’s short circ—”

As soon as you made contact with the input wire, you heard the sound of a cup tipping over seconds before the splashing of hot tea.

Then everything went black.

~

When you awoke, it was because you were shaking so hard that your teeth were clicking painfully together.

Slowly, you pulled open my eyelids to see a brilliantly blue sky without a cloud in sight, wide and unimpeded by any skyscrapers. This was definitely not Gunther’s lab.

You groaned as feeling began to return to your body, along with a thudding headache and soreness in every joint. Gently, you pressed your weight into your fingers and slowly sat yourself up, making observations as you went.

You were not dead. Your heart was still beating and your nerves still functioned as usual. You had no idea how long you'd been lying on the ground, but it had to have been at least an hour given that the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.

Another observation: you were nowhere near Terranova.

Instead, you were in the clearing of a forest, surrounded by trees with unfamiliar trunk patterns and leaves. A thick bed of white snow coated everything in sight except for you.

You were well and truly fucked. There was nowhere even remotely nearby the city that you knew was in a fully forested area.

Though at least now you held the title of the first person alive to travel at light speed. It was a small comfort, but it was something to cling to.

A shriek sounded behind you, and you spun around, still seated on the ground. The forest line was clear, but you could hear rustling. For a moment you considered that it could be an animal, but it didn’t sound like any woodland creature. It sounded unmistakably human.

“Hello?” you called out.

The shriek came again, accompanied by more crunching—both much closer this time.

“Are you alright?” you asked, hoping your voice would carry to whoever it was. “Are you hurt?”

A mangled man suddenly came into sight as he fell into the clearing from a lopsided sprint, barreling right towards you. One of his knees was bent outwards as he went, so badly it looked broken, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down as he ran towards you.

You screamed, a real and proper one that pierced the frigid air. There was no time for to run as the man closed the gap and rammed into you, his filthy hands gripping your arms through your heavy jacket as his snapping teeth and rancid breath lunged for your neck.

Bang!

A single shot rang out. The man fell limp, slumping on top of you as you frantically snapped into motion and scrambled out from under him.

“Who the fuck are you?”

You whipped back around to see a girl standing at the other side of the clearing, a revolver in her hand and an incredibly cross expression etched into her features. She must’ve been around your age, and she had short auburn hair that barely brushed her shoulders and was being tossed about by the wind. There was a spattering of freckles across her face, muted against the backdrop of her cheeks reddened from exertion.

“Hi,” you said, your voice small and pathetic. You couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m Y/N.”

The girl just stared at you for a few more beats before turning back. “Jesse! Dina! Some help?”

You pulled your knees into your chest as you waited for whatever was to come. Now that the man was off of you, you could see that there was blood trickling from his gaping maw. Something that looked almost like shards had sprouted, like little spring buds, in little areas around his face. Even his normal, unshard-ed skin was a pallor that looked like death. Something wasn’t right here.

“Okay,” said the girl, gruffer this time. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are just waltzing in like this, but this isn’t open to the public, alright? You’re trespassing.”

“Sorry,” you said, shrinking further into yourself as you thumbed the edges of your scarf. “I didn’t know.”

“Get the hell out of here,” she said, grabbing your backpack from the ground near her feet and throwing it at you.

Two other people emerged from the trees, another girl and one guy. They all seemed roughly the same age—early 20s, maybe—and were all carrying various weapons ranging from guns to knives.

To say you were on edge would be the understatement of the century.

They spoke in hushed tones as they approached the first girl.

“I don’t understand,” the other girl said, long black locks escaping from her ponytail. “We literally just patrolled this area. There’s no way to get here without either going through the town or going over the pass, and no one’s done that.”

“And you’re sure you didn’t see her then?” The boy looked curiously at you.

“Fucking obviously,” snapped the first girl. “I think we would’ve noticed.” Then, directed at you: “Hey. How’d you even wind up here?”

“Uh….” Your mouth became dry. “Where am I again?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t even know?”

“Ellie,” warned the other girl. “Maybe she’s been out here for a while. Hypothermia can make you think crazy things.”

“She doesn’t look like she’s been out here for long,” pointed out the first girl, presumably Ellie.

“You’re right outside Jackson,” said the other girl helpfully.

“How close am I to Terranova?”

“The fuck is Terra-whatta?” Ellie frowned at you.

“Where I live,” you said. “I—I’m a student there. I was working on a project and something went wrong and then all of a sudden I woke up here and—what is that thing?” You gestured frantically at the limp body of the man beside you, the shock slowly subsiding as reality set in. “He almost killed me!”

Ellie gaped at you along with her two friends. “What do you mean, what is that thing? Have you never seen a runner before?”

“A runner?” You stared back. “These things are normal enough for you to have a name for them?”

“Oh my god,” said Ellie, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Have you, like, never been outside before?”

“No,” you said, honestly. “I’ve never left the city walls.”

“We have got to take her back with us,” said the other girl.

“Dina.” Ellie scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dina’s right,” said the guy, finally chiming in. “We can’t just leave her out here. She doesn’t even know what a runner is. She’s gonna be killed like that.”

Ellie considered, gnawing her lip. “Fine. Consider this your lucky day, Y/N. Get up.”

The first thing you did upon reaching your feet was faint once again.

~

“I told you, Joel, we just found her like this! Lying on the ground, with nothing but her bag.”

A man said something that you couldn’t quite catch.

“Yes. I went through it. No weapons, just…weird things. Like this.”

Your eyes snapped open to see Dina rooting around in your backpack, pulling out your laptop. You were laid horizontally on a table in some warmly lit home.

“Hey!” you said. She turned around, along with a tall, buff man at her side. “Be careful with that. That has all my homework on it.”

“See?” Dina whispered. “Do you think she hit her head or something, Joel?”

Joel frowned, picking up your laptop despite your protests. “I haven’t seen one of these in…I can’t even remember how long. And I’ve never seen one this slim before. Where’d you say you got this, er…”

“Y/N,” Dina supplied.

“From my university,” you said. There was a fire that crackled somewhere behind you, and it sounded comforting. “They provide all students with laptops. That’s how we do most of our schoolwork.”

“Let me guess,” said Joel. “You from the North? A place called Terra Something?”

“That’s a real thing?” Ellie came from around the corner, standing with her arms crossed. She’d changed out of her heavy winter coat and was instead wearing a dark gray hoodie with the strings tied into a bow.

“Never been there myself,” he said. “But when I was doing supply runs back in Boston we always heard whispers of a safezone in Canada. For rich assholes who had some even richer survivalist friends. The Fireflies attempted to break in for years, but they could never find it.”

“So, like a QZ?” asked Ellie, looking genuinely curious.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. No one acknowledged it.

“Not quite,” said Joel. “No FEDRA. With no military presence, I’m sure it was a hell of a lot cushier living there. Wasn’t it, Y/N?”

“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” you said. “But, yeah. I guess it was nice. It was just normal, I guess. Nothing extraordinary.”

“You’re wearing a cashmere scarf,” Joel pointed out. “That’s not what I’d call normal in the apocalypse.”

You blushed, pulling at the fringes of said black scarf. The fabric was thin and soft, impossibly warm against your bare neck. “It didn’t—it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse in Terranova.”

“And how’d you make it all the way out here?”

“I’m a research assistant for a professor attempting to invent travel at the speed of light,” you said. “We just hooked it up to a different wire today. It short-circuited and when my professor and I rushed to shut it off, he spilled his tea on me and the prototype. Next thing I knew, I woke up here.”

Joel blinked. “What now?”

“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, defensively pulling your knees to your chest. “But I’m telling the truth, honestly. Plus, look at me.” You let go of your scarf and held out your hands, letting the glow of the fire catch the immaculate pearl polish on your fingers. “Do I look like someone who’s traveled from Canada to wherever I am now?”

“She’s got a point,” said Dina, nodding thoughtfully. “It really must be nice where you come from to have hands like that. It doesn’t look like you’ve done a day of work in your life. Reckon you could take us back with you?”

Joel sent her a stern look. “What did you parents do to gain access to a place like that? You the daughter of the president or something?”

“No. They just got lucky,” you explained. “They were summering in Canada and happened to befriend the founders of Terranova right before outbreak day.”

“‘Summering’,” repeated Joel. “It’s been a while since I heard someone use a season as a verb. Somehow it’s not been long enough.”

You cringed.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing to hear that folks like your parents are still living in the lap of luxury, even after the world ended,” said Joel. “A part of me hoped that karma would get ‘em.”

“I didn’t realize how bad it was out here,” you said defensively. “They didn’t even tell me about…what was that that tried to kill me out there? Walkers?”

“Runners,” Ellie supplied. She watched you quietly from her position leaning up against the couch.

“You ran into one?” asked Joel, another wrinkle appearing in his forehead. “Ellie, have you checked her for bites?”

Ellie’s freckled face paled as she swore. “Fuck. No, I forgot. I should’ve done it in the clearing.”

“Well, better now than never. Listen, I gotta meet up with Tommy. You check ‘er. You got a gun ready, just in case?”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking thoroughly scandalized. “What do you mean, just in case?”

“I’ll be outside,” said Dina, following Joel as he left the door.

“How come it’s my job?” Ellie called after them. “No one asked me how I felt about this!”

The door banged shut in reply. She turned back to face you, her lips set into a firm line. “Fine. Take your coat off. Let’s make this quick.”

“I didn’t feel anything bite me,” you said, grabbing your knees tighter to your chest. Ellie was intimidating and scary, and you rather liked how you currently wore an extra layer of protection.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” She walked over to you, grabbing your scarf and unwinding it from your neck. “Shit. Is this what Joel called cashmere?”

“Yeah,” you said, watching as she stared at the fabric pooled in her hands. “It’s nothing special, really. Everyone wears them in Terranova.”

Ellie stared at you. “Can you stop saying Terranova? I swear it’s every third word that comes out of your mouth. I honestly couldn’t give a shit about whatever fantasyland you grew up in while the rest of us dealt with the real world.”

You opened your mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. It was discombobulating to hear a stranger swear so often at you.

Ellie knocked your hands from your knees and stared down at you. “Are you actually gonna make me take off everything myself? Do they have hired help to unzip your coats in Terra Novella?”

“Terranova.”

Ellie let out a sharp sigh, then lunged for the zipper near your throat.

“Okay, okay, fine,” you said, yanking yourself away and pulling your zipper down to reveal your standard lab outfit—a satiny button up shirt tucked into slacks. You pulled the rest of your puffer off, letting it drop in a pile next to you.

“So,” you said as Ellie grabbed your arm, gently rolling up the fabric of your blouse and turning your forearm back and forth, “Is this, like, a normal thing? To have deranged people in the woods attack you like that?”

“They’re not people,” she said quietly. Satisfied with your left arm, she moved to the next and let your unbuttoned sleeve fall. “Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

Ellie’s fingers encircled your right wrist as she fiddled with your sleeve. They were warm as they brushed across your skin, just barely touching you. “You really don’t know? I thought you at least knew about outbreak day.”

“Of course I know about outbreak day,” you said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”

Ellie arched a brow.

“They told us that it was a virus,” you added. “That it was lethal and incredibly infectious. Is that not what happened?”

“It’s not a virus, it’s a fungus,” corrected Ellie, letting go of your sleeve and stepping back as you redid the buttons at your wrist. “And it doesn’t just kill. It turns you into—into something like what you saw today. You lose your mind. The only thing that matters to you is biting everyone and spreading the infection.”

“Oh.”

“I saw you get tackled. Did your legs get scratched up at all?”

“No,” you responded, feeling thankful that you wouldn’t need to take your pants off. In that moment, literally nothing seemed more embarrassing. Your hands had begun to shake again.

“Didn’t think so.”

“If it had bitten me, would that mean that I…I would get sick too?”

“Nice going, Sherlock,” said Ellie, returning to her spot against the couch. “Really stellar reasoning skills there.”

You pulled your knees back into your chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. All this time you’d thought it was just a virus—a measly virus that killed. That it could be anything else had never occurred to you.

“Keep shaking and I’m going to start to think that you were bitten.” She smiled thinly at you from across the room.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your teeth bouncing against each other once before you clenched your jaw. “Please cut me some slack. This is just a lot to take in. If you’ll recall, I’ve just been the first person in history to undergo atomic dissolution and reassembly. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.”

“Welcome to the club,” said Ellie, her eyes narrowed. “It’s a wonder any of us are alive.”

Your lips pressed tightly together as you sat, trying your best not to lose it at her. You’d always been brought up to be kind, to be forgiving and sweet and polite. After all, there was never any reason not to be. Terranova’s culture put a heavy emphasis on keeping the peace no matter what. Your parents rarely ever raised their voices. Your professors kindly and respectfully asked their pupils to settle down if they were too noisy, but since you were all brought up with impeccable manners, such instances were few and far between. It just wasn’t a thing to chew strangers out. Such behavior was only reserved for extraordinary situations of the like you’d never experienced. Speaking of manners…

“Thank you,” you said, finally. Yeah, you could be the bigger person.

Ellie’s gaze snapped up to you, her brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“For saving me,” you clarified, avoiding her eyes. They were uncomfortably piercing. “Sorry. I should’ve thanked you earlier. That was rude of me. And I’m also sorry for just barging in here. I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Trust me, I would do anything to be back home right now.”

“I bet you would.” Her eyes dropped briefly to your hands, unblemished and smooth as they clutched your knees. Not even a cuticle was out of place, a result of your weekly manicures and daily lotion habit.

“Sorry,” you said again, feeling heat rise in your cheeks once again. “I probably sound so insufferable and spoiled to you.”  

“Just—” She paused, frowning. “Just stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, or whatever.” The words seemed to pain her.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. Now that you’d had a moment to draw in a few deep breaths, your hands were steady once again.

“Quarantine Zone,” said Ellie. “Established by what was left of the government for those of us normal people. There are a couple scattered around the country in the big cities.”

“Did you live in one? What’re they like?”

She was about to answer when the door banged open.

“Ellie!” Dina’s voice was breathless. “Joel wants me and you to go out and finish the patrol route together. She alright?”

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, hanging your legs off the table and reaching for your puffer.

“God, I fucking love that shirt,” said Dina. “Can I touch it? It looks so soft.”

You had a feeling that you would get on well with her. “Sure.”

“It’s not that soft,” said Ellie from the couch.

“Shut up, Ellie!” Dina walked over to you, grabbing the dangling fabric from your loose sleeves and letting it thread through her fingers. “Sorry about her, Y/N. She’s just like that sometimes.”

“Dina!”

Dina ignored Ellie’s protests, giving you a look full of mirth as she stepped back. “For the record, it was that soft.”

“You couldn’t wear it anywhere,” argued Ellie. “It looks ridiculous. Infected would just snag right onto the sleeves. That’s only if you didn’t get tangled up in a tree from all that loose fabric first.”

“There’s not an abundance of trees or sick fungus people in my research lab,” you said awkwardly. “So that’s not really something that crossed my mind when I got ready this morning.”

“Ha!” Dina’s eyes scrunched. “Ellie, be nice. Maybe she’ll claim us both as her long-lost sisters and get us into wherever she came from, but she’s not gonna if you keep acting like this.”

“It’s okay,” you said, shrugging. “I get it. I can’t even begin to imagine how much different your lives are out here. And, I mean, I probably could if you wanted. I’m pretty sure that all you need is a connection and a negative test for whatever the fungus is called.”

“See?” Dina gestured towards you. “Listen to her. She’s so wholesome.”

“I’d be wholesome too if I led the kind of life where I didn’t know about the infected and got to wear dumb shirts like that all day.”

Dina huffed. “Listen, Y/N, Ellie and I are gonna finish up with patrolling. I’m assuming you want to stay in Jackson until you figure everything out?”

You nodded. “If that’s alright. I don’t mean to impose.”

“We’ll talk to Maria and Tommy once we get back and see about getting you set up somewhere temporarily,” said Dina. “For now, you can just stay at Ellie’s until we finish up. Sound good?”

“Dina!” protested Ellie. “You’re just gonna leave her here unattended without even asking me?”

“What’s she gonna do? Ransack the town? With what weapon, Ellie? Her bare hands? She looks like she’d be blown over if I breathed too hard in her direction.”

You flushed. Sure, you’d never really seen much of a point of bulking up and working out when you were nothing but a student who spent all of her time goofing off with wires and telescopes, but it was humbling to have it pointed out so blatantly.

“She wouldn’t make it a day outside,” continued Dina. “I don’t think she’s stupid enough to try anything. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

You blinked. “I mean, yeah. I’ve never spent a day without electricity and hot running water, so I’m not really clambering to leave and live in the woods.”

Ellie sighed sharply. “Fine. Cool. Whatever. Just stay where you are, okay? And don’t even think about touching anything.”

~

By the time that she returned with Joel, you were sitting at the table, 2 chapters deep into the one textbook you’d brought along with you for one of your courses.

“Glad to see the house still standing,” Joel quipped as he worked his heavy coat off his shoulders and pulled his boots off. Ellie trailed behind him, hanging up her coat and pulling off a pair of black gloves. “Ellie was concerned you’d raze the whole town.”

“I’m honored that she thinks me so capable,” you said in response, wincing as you had to dogear your textbook, your bookmarks and sticky notes tucked safely in your dorm desk far away.

Ellie sent you an irritated look before her gaze dropped to the textbook in your lap. It lingered for a moment, just long enough for you to know that she was reading the title Exoplanetary Systems.

“Tommy and Maria have decided to let you stay until you get back on your feet,” said Joel, oblivious to the hostility coming from Ellie. “There’s a cottage down the street that’ll be ready for you to move into soon. For now, you can stay with us. There’s an extra room across the hall from Ellie’s.”

“That’s too kind of you,” you said, your voice smooth and gracious after years of having your manners picked apart by your parents.  

Joel looked mildly uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah. Don’t mention it. You know how to ride a horse?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Good,” said Joel. “Can you shoot, too?”

You stared. “Uh, shoot what?”

“A gun,” said Ellie slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her mouth contorted into a scowl. She did not seem overjoyed at the prospect of a new housemate.

“No,” you said. Your ears felt like they were on fire. “There’s, uh, a strict ban on guns in Terr–where I grew up. There was no reason to shoot anything.”

Joel whistled. “Well, imagine that. So maybe we won’t put you on patrol just yet. We’ll find something else for you to do. Got any other skills?”

Before you answered, Joel picked up your bag and peered inside of it. “Say, is this a bag of coffee?”

He pulled out the bag of coffee grinds that you’d picked up at the cafe.

“Yeah!” you said. “Before the, uh, accident, my professor sent me to get him tea from the cafeteria. I ended up picking those up since my roommate and I were out. You drink coffee?”

“Not much anymore,” said Joel, picking up the bag and weighing it back and forth. “It’s hard to come by out here. You have to pay an arm and a leg to get just a bit. I haven’t seen a bag like this since before the outbreak.”

“It’s yours,” you said quickly. “I don’t even really like coffee. I just drank it because my roommate would make me a cup.”

Joel shook his head and placed it back in your bag. “No, I couldn’t do that. I’d probably have to trade my whole arsenal plus a horse to get something this big.”

“Please, I insist,” you said. “It’s the least I can do. It’s just going to sit in my bag anyway. You’d appreciate it more.”

“Well…” Joel gave you a considering look. “I s’pose this could cover your work for a few weeks until either we find another job for you or Ellie teaches you to shoot.”

“Joel!” Ellie interjected. “I have my own shit to do.”

“That’s really generous of you,” you said, smiling at Joel. “But you could honestly just take the bag—no need to offer any reimbursement.”

Joel grunted and picked the bag up again, slinging it onto the counter behind him. “Maria’s never gonna believe me until she sees this. Full bag of monsoon malabar…didn’t even think they had that shit anymore…” He continued to mumble to himself as he shuffled around, opening and closing cabinets behind you.

When you looked back up, Ellie was staring again at your book, a line in her brow.

“You can borrow it, if you’d like.” You pushed the book towards her as a poor attempt to call a truce between you two. “It’s not like I actually need to do the reading anymore. I’m already missing lecture.”

You winced at the thought of getting behind in your classes. In the very likely case you weren’t getting back in the next few days, you’d probably need to take a gap semester and return in the fall, delaying your graduation date another 4 months. Your parents were going to kill you. This was going to create an unfillable hole in your resume. “Shooting a gun” and “riding horses” were not acceptable activities to explain away why you took a whole season off.

“No thanks,” said Ellie, pushing it back to you. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”

“It’s about solar systems outside of our locale,” you continued. “There’s a bunch of them. It’s actually really interesting.”

“It doesn’t really sound like it,” she said, but there was no venom behind her voice—just something that sounded like exhaustion.  

“Maybe not.” You sighed, deflated. So much for a white flag. “I guess it must seem pretty ridiculous to you.”

Ellie stood there, her arms still crossed and her frown deep. “Joel,” she said, speaking over your shoulder, “I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Joel. You could hear him bustling around in what you assumed was a kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the gas top stove.

When you turned back around, Ellie was already out the door, coat slung over her arm as she shut it.

Before the door closed entirely, her eyes snapped up to meet yours like she knew you’d been watching her.

She was gone before you had the chance to lift your hand to wave goodbye.

again apologies for this if you’ve made it this far. please confiscate my laptop. part 2 coming soon (?) if u want also im not an astrophysics student im a thickheaded cs student who barely survived ap physics so im sorry if i’m doing a disservice to the academic field of astronomy idk shit about it 

[coichii]

Perfect - LEE KNOW

pairing: idol!minho x fem!reader

word count: 0.9k

warnings: insecure reader, hurt comfort, lots of crying, cursing, pls dont let this make you think things about yourself 🙏🏾

A/N : I actually, love this?!?! Incredibly self indulgent! PS : YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! Despite anything anyone says please know you are perfect the way you are, even tho it may not seem like that.

“You could have anyone you want, why would you want to be with me? I’m nothing special..” - Jealousy- eye dress

You were having a hard time recently. You and your boyfriend had finally gotten the go ahead to make your relationship public from his company. You wanted this, to let everyone know you were his, and you had gotten tons of support from fans, but there was still the hate.

The hate was small at first, a negative comment here and there. You knew this was going to happen, you just weren’t prepared for how much it would actually affect you.

You went from laughing it off, to it making you insecure, to crying. The post about you, the comments about how “ugly” and “fat” you are. The numerous tweets that criticize every single thing you do. It made every last day feel like hell.

Now you were here, reading the comments you swore that you would stop reading as streams of tears ran down your face. You know you shouldn’t be doing this, that it’s not good for you. But you can’t help but feel like you somehow deserved this.

“Y/n, im home!” You heard Minho’s voice say. Fuck. He must have gotten off of work early, he’s not supposed to be home for another hour.

You quickly try to gather yourself as you hear him put down his bag, walking towards the door. You tuck your phone away, before looking for someway to cover your face, but he was already at the door.

“Y/n, how was your d-“ he stops as he takes in your expression. Your eyes were puffy and red, and you just had a genuinely tired look on your face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asks, trying to find out why you appeared as if you had been crying, and most importantly, why you were trying to hide it from him.

“N-nothing.” You lied, and he knew it. Before you could protest he was already sitting on the bed, pulling you into his arms. Minho looked at you with gentle eyes, silently coaxing you to speak. And like a chain reaction, you started sobbing, hiding your face in his shirt.

He immediately started running his hand up and down your back, making you cry even louder, if that was even possible.

“I- I just-“ you tried to say, but the tears made in sound like pathetic chokes as all the emotions you were trying to keep from him, desperately left you.

“It’s ok, take your time.” He whispers, trying to soothe your crying whilst also allowing you to finish. He knew that you needed to get all of this off of your chest.

After a few minutes, you finally stop crying. You peel your face away from Minho’s now soaked shirt, not that it mattered to him anyways. His soft and glossy eyes met yours, giving you all the freedom to speak up when you were ready.

“I was reading comments about me, and it made me start thinking. I don’t deserve you. You deserve better than me, you could be dating any other person, but you’re dating me. I’m not pretty, I’m not that smart, I’m just everything that you aren’t. You’re beautiful min, you’re so talented and smart. I’m nothing, I’m not special at all.” You choked out, letting everything that was pent up in your mind free.

You reconnected your eyes with his, feeling a little guilty when you saw a fresh tear roll out of Minho’s eyes.

When he didn’t respond, a pit of worry built in your stomach. You thought this was the moment that he was going to admit that everything the comments said were in fact true.

You tried to pull away, but his firm arms kept you in place. You looked away, ashamed to even be in his presence, but he brought up a hand and turned your face towards his.

“How did those thoughts come into that pretty brain of yours, hm? You’re so smart y/n, you’re the smartest person I know. You’re incredibly talented at what you do as well. Don’t even get me started, on how beautiful you are. You’re so fucking beautiful that it makes my head spin. You drive me crazy, you know that? You know how hard it is to keep my composure when you wear that dress of yours, how quick my heart races when you simply look at me, and how you make me feel like I’ve ascended to heaven when you simply flash your gorgeous smile at me. God, you’re so intoxicating. I can’t even imagine how these thoughts appeared in your mind when you’re so perfect.”

You were not sure when you began crying again. You thought he didn’t love you anymore, that he was just keeping you around because he didn’t have the heart to tell you. But his confession was anything but that.

“I love you so much, I love you so much that it scares me sometimes. You mean everything to me ok? Let me love you so much that you never think of anything like that ever again.” He asks gently.

“Okay…” you stammer timidly. The things be said repeating in your mind, coaxing your brain like honey and making anything negative thoughts scatter.

“I’m going to run a bath for us now, ok?” He suggested, and you nodded yes before he walked away, starting the water.

Your eyes watered again, this time not out of pain, but out of love. You no longer had to second guess how much love he had for you, you knew now.

You knew that no matter what you were going through, he would always be there for you. No matter what.

Back to masterlist

[malwaredykes]

the untapped Enemy Of The State Potential is one of boones best funniest traits tbh like ok since im in charge of Awesome Flawless FNV Remake Available Exclusively On My Beautiful Mind im rewriting boones personal #journey arc primarily by expanding on it because i mean yeah fatalistic thinking and the question of agency vs authority and having to live with having done something inexcusable and The Denying Of Closure are good themes but to me theyre not enough here. that lack of closure about something that really intrinsically can never entertain the idea of closure is all well and good, but... lets keep going lets put a pin in that. lets turn once again to boones potential for becoming wanted by the ncr government. boone i know you want to go apeshit. its time to admit that its always been about the system youd been conditioned into never questioning and which you continued to mentally cling to as you felt there was no other purpose or direction to your existence in the wake of all the disastrous events in your life. but its time to develop a grasp on your agency as a human being boone. and yes some of that is going to make you feel worse because, Well. The Complicity. bitter springs. but you know what, it is also freeing and the right thing to do. release your inhibitions feel the rain on your skin. youre already there just look around you. youve cut the ropes that held you back, now its time to rip and shred the ropes that still are wrapped around you. its there. youve physically gotten out. and its time to evolve. "now if iiiiii were to assassinate the president 🤔" i know you want to. im not saying you should but i know youve thought about it before. "guess that settler was well-connected" yes isnt that fucked up i know you think thats fucked up. and oh your friend the courier just did something fucked up at mccarran and all these ncr soldiers and staff are trying to shoot them? of course its the courier youre defending when faced with the immediate choice i mean if its between "fuck the ncr. die" and "fuck the person im ride or die for because theyre a force of destiny that entered my life to change it one way or another and now i care about them deeply. die" well of course youre choosing the path of Leave My FACKING FRIEND Alone You Beasts. but of course the situation doesnt have to be this immediately dire. it doesnt have to stem from an immediate danger to your new object of loyalty. we dont have to let it go down this particular route. no need to have something this drastic happen. you can reach this conclusion simply by giving into the desire youve repressed for years to go apeshit at the ncr government and every arm of its hegemony. that bubbling rage? that "if i let this fester inside me im gonna do a fucking murder-suicide about it"? that in a certain timeline you do in fact end up doing a murder-suicide about? thats not just hateful desperation. thats a feeling, hitherto bottled up and unrefined and volatile, that you should allow to breathe and photosynthesize and grow into something beautiful and true and let it blossom and bear fruit. boone, there is no need to feel alone and helpless and directionless in your unfulfilled desire to cut the umbilical cord.

so. enough rationalizing things as rotten spots and necessary burdens in an otherwise inevitable righteous system, you knowwwww thats pure bullshit. my advice, do some reading. reading is fundamental, and luckily for you, you literally know a very literate anarcho-communist. i can guarantee you that you could walk up to arcade and be like "👉👈 hi gannon soooo i want to get into critiques of capitalism and of the military, and into anarchism and other leftist theory. i want to know about Other Ways to run things. could you give me some recommendations? for books and essays and so on. thanks" and he would be like "boone, yes. Absolutely. yes. i will prepare a reading list for you. gosh." and youll be given a stack of books, with notes and a directory. however, if you two are currently on really bad terms to the point where he doesnt wanna talk to you at all, hey, theres other followers of the apocalypse that would be happy to help. providing education is literally one of their main things. either way, youll finally feel vindicated about things that used to make you feel like you were just going insane. boone you werent going insane you were in fact being onto something. baby that time you saw an ncr military police on the strip facing away from you and there was a loose brick on the ground and it was calling to you like the green goblin mask? that time you were at camp forlorn hope and folks kept saying shit like "that red beret is looking good soldier" and you didnt respond or even look at them because you were focused on containing the urge to grab them by the shoulders and start shrieking? well you see those are actually instincts that tell us you have potential. you have the power to end these patterns. you want to. you need to. thats where you should go. theres a world of ideas waiting for you to tap into and be liberated by. you have nothing to lose but your pitiful pension (you can even keep the beret like who cares). there is so much you can do. its not about allegiance or moral debt or soothing personal guilt, its about doing the right thing. there are so many paths in front of you. also youre trans. like, that one also isnt just you going insane, its real and its right and its you, you are transgender

[mythalism]

more solavellan ending thoughts under cut

reading thru the solavellan tag and wow i am so sorry to the people who are so upset at the bittersweetness and messiness overall because i understand how upset they must feel but also im reading these posts so shocked bc idk what people expected??????? i feel like the toxicity and ambiguity of solas/mythals relationship has been clear since trespasser. we have been debating whether or not they were romantic ourselves for 10 years have we not?? i literally made a poll about our predictions about this like a month ago lmao. idk why people are so blindsided by the suggestion that they were fucked up lovers. anyway i loved mythals role in this game. she is an absolute freak and i thought it was the most nuanced and morally grey part of the entire game which was overall sorely lacking in any exploration of morality outside of solas. i enjoyed how villainous he was - again, what did you expect!? we knew he was like this. yes we saw another side of him in inquisition but we have also seen him in myth and in tevinter nights and in the masked empire, we knew what he was capable of. i was really pleased that he was villainous instead of woobified and wiped of all moral ambiguity.

i think his relationship to Mythal also added amazing depth and context to solavellan. i am seeing so many people saying that him having loved Mythal cheapens his love for solavellan which is honestly just wild. a lot of people in this world love more than one person in their life LMFAO. and she wasn’t just some ex gf SHE MADE HIM. she made him into who he is, literally is the reason he exists as he does. he owed everything to her, including his regrets. and it helps us understand why he could not abandon his path for lavellan and why he could not let her join him. to abandon his goals for her would be to betray himself the same way he betrayed himself for Mythal- and look where it got him. it destroyed the world and it destroyed him. and neither could he allow her to follow him because then he would be asking her to do the same thing Mythal asked of him. “I would follow you anywhere” he says in the memory of him taking a body. “i thought i would follow him anywhere” our inquisitor later says to rook. of course he could not let her do that, it’s what Mythal did to him.

Mythal showing up and telling him the burden wasn’t just his and that she released him literally gave me chills. the way he absolutely crumples in her presence was so devastating… and then when he’s bent over crying and lavellan gets on her knees to look up at him. INSANE. INSANE MOMENT. overall I thought their dialogue towards each other was perfect, even if the kiss felt off to me. just bad timing I think…? and bad animation? i think a hand to the cheek would’ve been better. he was literally going through it in that moment so kissing him then felt kind of wild LMFAO. I think that is my overall complaint about the scene is how quick it happens and because it’s happening at the same time as he’s having like 15 other revelations and being given therapy by 3.5 different women at the same time, their reunion doesn’t get quite enough space to breathe on it’s own. i would bet money that the people who are upset about mythals involvement would be less so if the reunion between him and the inquisitor, and the reunion between he and Mythal were two separate scenes both given their own space.

i also think it felt sudden just because we are not in our inquisitor’s head. obviously she makes it pretty clear that she wants to run off with him when you talk to her in the beginning of act 3, I also got a fun comment between her and Dorian in the final mission where he asks if she’s going back to the south after this and she says “something like that” LMFAOOO. but overall I think her just being like ok! Im coming to the fade with you pookie! would have felt more natural if it was drawn out over a longer period of time in the game. it was perfectly in character for my inky so that’s not an issue, I just think it would have been nice to see her reasons and more grappling with the decision. literally the perfect way to do this would’ve been to have her visit the lighthouse and witness his memories and old home herself and see the true extent of his sorrow and loneliness!!! but that would be a lot of work and time and money and whatever so it’s okay.

despite enjoying the ending I still feel just really anxious, I think partly because that entire end sequence was fucking insane and I’m going to be reeling for a long time but I also think the vagueness of their future is gnawing at me. it is very bittersweet and i would’ve liked…. Any explanation as to where the hell they’re going? are they trapped? can’t they just get out? rook got out by facing their regrets so can’t solas just do the same with lavellans help? how is he helping heal the titans if he’s stuck in the fade? why is he in the fade at all? elgarnan was keeping the veil intact with his life force while outside of the fade literally 5 minutes ago. clearly they don’t have to be in the fade to keep the veil up, they just have to be alive. so why are they in the fucking fade LMAO. I thought they were going to literally give up their mortal bodies and become spirits together and then return to the fade, which I think would’ve been my preferred ending. it is a little more full circle; him taking a body for mythal, and lavellan leaving her body behind for him. I think the insinuation that they’re imprisoned is what bothers me and makes me so anxious because idk it’s just brutal???? they are just gonna sit there for eternity??? is lavellan mortal still??? it just seems to be the only part of this that is unsatisfying to me, I just don’t understand the intention. because solas makes it sound so terrible when he literally calls it terrible, and then the epilogue slide of them it clearly looks lovely and sweet and joyful. So I’m genuinely just confused. Hopefully someone will ask trick on blue sky soon. ok I’m literally falling asleep bc it’s 2:40 am so i am going to go dream about them making out in the fade. I can’t believe it’s over I am going to have to mourn the end of this story for a long time

[vasito-de-leche]

would it be ok to request a fmn x reader type thing that goes into realizing he’s actually fallen for said reader ? (They can either be human or arcanist whichever interests u more!!),asking cause I saw that post u brought up and now im really curious is all I know your Getting a lot of asks for fmn so I apologize ehhf

;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - "fallen"

Forget Me Not x Reader. 600~ words. angst

all good, nonnie! I don't mind if someone decides to send 10 asks in a row with prompts for the same character lmfao, more power to you lolol

you didn't specify if you wanted headcanons or a fic, so I ended up writing a lil ficlet of the EXACT moment Forget Me Not realizes, which also doubles as the moment he confesses because this man is. a mess.

I also wanted to recapture the vibe from this other FMN fic tofocus on that FMN POV and how hes just. so fucking delusional and how none of the shit he thinks matches the things he does. his body and mind live entirely different realities and i think thats awesome of him

Forget Me Not realizes he's fallen for you the moment he's about to lose you.

Your fist collides against his chest in a weak attempt to push him away - even now, you don't hurt him as much as you should've. In this situation, you have every right to tear him to shreds. To rip him out of your life and throw him far, far away, left to rot.

But you could never do that to him. And that's what hurts him the most.

Because he's done so much worse to you.

This is the last argument you two will ever have, this is the one time he went too far - he's sure of it. Forget Me Not knows this, he's been preparing for this outcome for so long, he knows exactly how it will happen.

At some point, you're going to walk out of that door and never come back. This current expression of yours, the one that makes the knot in his throat tighten and tighten until he wishes he could swallow his own tongue and die on the spot, is the last image he will have of your face. Forget Me Not will think of you each and every night, every single hour of the day, until his memories of you become a poor, deluded simulacrum of what you two could've had or until he drinks himself into oblivion.

He will resent you for leaving and he will hate himself tenfold for allowing this to happen. He will be glad that you're gone, off to greener pastures, and then beg to any God out there for you to come back to him. All of this while he carries on about his day, unyielding and unmoving in his grief. An esteemed member of Manus Vindictae.

This is the day all of his paranoia is justified, but the one thing that throws him off is the suddenness of it all - Forget Me Not, despite constantly dreaming about the day you finally leave him, never expected this to happen so soon. Not on the day his heart finally allows him to admit he's fond of you.

The irony isn't lost on him, he finds it quite hilarious, truth be told.

You yell something he cannot register at him, your open palm pushing him further and further away. Limp and weak, Forget Me Not allows this, his back now resting against the window of his office. Through foggy glasses, he keeps his gaze on the floor hoping that you'll finally run out of things to say - but then, your face comes into view.

It's hard to see you in such a dazed state, and yet Forget Me Not recognizes this mess of blurry colors and shapes as the former love of his life. The sunlight coming from outside surrounds you in an angelical glow, you remain holy even when your fingers dig into his shoulders.

It doesn't hurt, though. He wishes it did. Forget Me Not does not deserve your love, but he will gladly accept your anger and hatred. Why is it so difficult for you to give him that? Why is it so hard for him to let go of you?

"Do you really have nothing to say?! Nothing at all? After all of that?"

Forget Me Not doesn't reply. He can't even remember the words that came out of his mouth to make you react like this. He's forgotten how to talk and just the thought of missing his lines is enough to humiliate him - you play your role so well, and here he is, fumbling the part. To match the crying saint in front of him, Forget Me Not needs to deliver the best performance of his life, a monster worthy of your divinity.

The Snake of The Walden stands tall and proud, looming over you (Forget Me Not stumbles and falls to his knees, unable to steady himself).

It coils itself around your hand, cold scales scratching against your skin (with shaking hands, he clings onto anything he can reach - your hands, your clothes)

Piercing eyes stare down at you, mocking and condescending in their superiority (everything is so blurry, so wet. why is he crying?)

Finally, the Snake speaks. The words that spill from its mouth are vile, rattling the foundation of the earth.

"I'm sorry, I love you."

[jacenotjason]

OK this will be an extremely long ask i am sorry. i love radford

i havent sent an ask to people in years but i am one of the radford fans of all time and demonic possession is a fun concept to me, so the idea of gadreel possessing him specifically makes me INSANE

i just think itd work extremely well. radford doesnt take anything seriously and doesnt understand boundaries, but he always puts his concern for others first and his well-being last. he annoys father gregor and compares him to priests hes seen in the movies, and he does spray holy water + offer free candy against kevins wishes, but he also warns rick about the trouble he could get himself into when not giving the right movie tickets, and helps kevin with his job with no pay in mind. hes annoying, but his heart is in the right place

but gadreel is the Ultimate Prankster. him trying to imitate radford would backfire Hard, because gadreels idea of fun is,, More Extreme. he allows kids to enter adult films, he steals candy and says its fine since hes friends with kevin, he tells his friends and brother to break the rules and disrespect authority, etc etc. im unsure what gadreels motives are other than to ruin everyones day, but hes doing a damn good job at it. all the blame is going to radford, and honestly, its just So Easy to blame him for it

i imagine it takes a while for most people to figure out that somethings wrong with radford. he does what he wants freely, wherever and whenever, so these mistakes could be rationalized by him having an off-day. i assume rad would look extremely tired after a days long session of gadreel torturing him (because he loves pushing the human body. bill cipher behavior). but i think what makes everyone truly concerned is when "radford" starts involving Others in his antics

it isnt like rad to encourage bad behavior. he would never tell rick to swap the prices of two items at his new job, or tell robert the best blind spots to steal from stores, or forcing kevin to take his anger out on someones property. the radford everyone knows is ditzy, but kindhearted. if theres trouble, radford would be the only perpetrator

and god, imagine how much worse it gets if "radford" gets in trouble with the police. john would be frustrated seeing his own nephew be so careless and cruel all of a sudden. itd probably even make him spiral and assume the cult had something to do with it, and that john and his family arent safe like he thought. and i think gadreel relishes in that knowledge

im also so curious as to how gadreel and radford met and how long the possession lasted, maybe it was a week? in my head, he came to radford in the form of a snake before revealing his true self and attacking, leaving no time for rad to fully process it and run away. i also assume skid and pump will have some involvement, and pumps eyes turning blue will be a clear sign that "radford" is associated with a demonic entity, or Is one. either way i love gadreels character being a "twisted" version of radfords if that makes sense

so um ya sorry for the longest ask ever. heres a drawing

OPOOOHMYGOHMOSIEJHIOSRHGIUSADHRUITGHSDUIGSDB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!??!?!?!?!? FUCK OK OKAYAKOAJTYAOKATY THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO COOL

THANK YOU FOR THE DRAWING, EATING IT, YOUR POINTS ARE ALL CORRECT

Unlike Moloch whose possessions are more brutal and obvious, Gadreel hides and youre so right! Hes here for the long haul babey!!

yes i imagine the possession lasted about a week, week and a half. Gadreel can't feel pain (at least Radfords pain i mean, he has a higher pain tolerance, as a demon yknow) so he could very well accidentally snap a bone as Radford and not even notice. What im saying is Rad is hospitalized afterwards

AUGHHH the police thing. Gadreel sees the cops and WANTS to get caught by them, just for goofs. in a "Oh what would happen if i did this :)" way.

GOD THIS IS SO COOL YOURE LITERALLY THE BEST

OH!! AND ON THE SUBJECT OF HOW RAD AND GADREEL MET !!

Instead of possessing Patty in the morgue, Gadreel took the form of a snake and.... left lmao. or got noticed and thrown out bc oh my god a snake

he ended up near the candyclub and radford was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gadreel saw Radford as a hiding place and a means to have fun.

I imagine Moloch doesnt care about what his vessels look like, meanwhile Gadreel won't possess someone if he thinks theyre lame. like yeah he couldve possessed patty but then he would've had to.... do stuff. eugh. This guy looked WAY more fun.

im actually vibrating yourel iterally the coolest dawg.

[kinkandkreep]

Yandere Alphabet Continued: Shuji Hanma (Tokyo Revengers)

Letters A-M here

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Shuji’s punishments can be physical, mostly some less than playful roughhousing should you decide to do something he doesn’t like

He’s actually not super fond of punishments outside of the humiliation aspect of them, mostly because he kind of likes to see you crying or in some distress

Only if it’s caused by him though

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Shuji’s not super interested in taking away your rights

He may prohibit you from doing certain things and limit your actions, but as for just outright being like “you no longer have the right to see your family,” or something like that, he doesn’t really have that inclination

He kinda thinks it’s fun to see how far you’re willing to push the boundary between what he will and won’t allow, even if he hasn’t made mention of what those things are explicitly

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I dunno if I’d call Shuji patient exactly, but I will say that he lets you slide with some things more than most 

Shuji’s just not a very uptight guy, so what looks to be patience is actually nonchalance  

Now, that’s not to say that he can’t get fed up

He can, and if you push him too far, he will 

But he’s got a greater tolerance for any bs you might try to pull than others only because he knows that if he were in your situation, and hell, even if not, he would do the same thing

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

This may or may not come as a surprise, but it’s actually highly unlikely that you’ll die while in Shuji’s care or under his supervision, so we won’t touch on that

Just upping and leaving is not an option, unless there’s some sort of extenuating circumstance that requires you to like…ion know, leave out the country or something (and even then, Shuji loves adventure, so he may just follow you then too 🙃)

If you were to escape, Shuji would definitely hunt you down

He loves the thrill of the chase, and while after too long he may grow a bit bored, the thought of your expression and reaction when he finally catches you will keep him going for a while yet

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Feelings like guilt and Shuji Hanma don’t really mix in my mind 😂

Like, I don’t necessarily think he’s incapable of feeling it, he’s just not inclined to

So I’ma say no, Shuji would decidedly not feel guilty if he kidnapped you

He would also not let you go

You are his precious little doll and he loves you too much to just let you leave him

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Shuji’s childhood and much if not all of his backstory is an enigma

That said, it’s kinda hard to pinpoint where exactly the yandere aspect of this iteration of him came from

I would honestly say that Shuji most likely has some undiagnosed mental illness, and that his yandere tendencies stem from that

There’s also something to be said about a deeply hidden sense of loneliness and a craving for affection that permeates deep into Shuji’s being, and that he’s just suppressed all his life

When he encounters you, and begins feeling things he’s not felt before, he kinda just takes the feeling and runs with it, as he’s done with everything else he’s ever felt

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Not as amused as you would think, believe it or not

Shuji may act like an ass but somewhere within him lies the desire for you to love him in return

He knows being terrible and kidnapping you is probably not the best way to make that happen but he’s still figuring it out ok? Cut ‘im some slack, these are new feelings he’s dealing with

A small part of him would be amused, the normal part of him that everyone sees and knows

But a larger part of him is distressed, though he hides it well

He doesn’t want to hurt you, honest!

And he really doesn’t even want to see you cry, for the most part

So if you did behave in such a manner, it would likely cause him to internally panic

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

I mentioned this a little earlier I think but Shuji likes to drag you around to the various fights he gets into and have you watch and cheer him on from the sidelines

That sounds weird, and it is, but hey 🤷🏾‍♀️

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Another one who’s pretty unflappable

But, I could feasibly see Shuji growing bored of you and ceasing his pursuit of you if you just never have any reaction to anything

Which, let’s face it, will be pretty hard to do but if you’re willing to give it a try ‘cus you’re just that desperate to escape…

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Shuji might accidentally hurt you

A lot actually 🙃

He just gets so excited and forgets his own strength sometimes

But now intentionally? 

Only if you’ve absolutely pushed him to the edge 

And then over it

Don’t worry though, something like this would be incredibly difficult to achieve 

But trust me, you do not want to push it

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

I don’t think Shuji reveres or worships you

He’s not the type for that

He does have an appreciation for you though, and he recognizes that you are a little sliver of good in a world that’s pretty much gone to shit

He can respect that about you

As for winning you over, he’s not overly concerned with that either

He wants you to love him, sure, but you don’t have to be drooling over him 25/8 for him to be satisfied

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Shuji “pines” for about as long as you probably assume he would. 

Which is to say, not long. 🙃

When Shuji realizes that he wants to possess you and subsequently your heart, he immediately begins making moves to do just that

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Shuji possesses the potential to break you intentionally and unintentionally.

He can be overbearing in the most literal sense, monopolizing, occasionally inconsiderate of your feelings as it relates to your autonomy and overall just wild and incorrigible. 

He’s more likely to break you if he abducts you and is subsequently in contact with you more consistently. 

He’ll more easily wear you down and whittle away at your patience and sanity if he can keep you in close proximity.   

I personally don’t think he’d ever try particularly hard to break you, but the thought might enter his mind and he may be inclined to pursue the notion. 🙃

Let’s hope for your sake, he doesn’t. 

[captainimprobable]

I've known i had a sleep disorder for like 13 years, but didn't get diagnosed with anything til last year, and until LITERALLY THIS WEEK even though it's been hard and even though I've cried over it multiple times, I've been able to be like "hehe haha i have sleepy bitch disease" but i just suddenly realized that i actually have a real, tangible disability. And I KNEW that, and I was never hung up on that word or anything, but I've been fine bc sure it's been impacting my life, but I've always managed to hold down jobs right??? And then I thought about it. I managed at Trader Joe's bc I was active all the time. So I thought "oh, okay, while i get this disorder under control, I can work retail". Except I realized that a) this disorder will never be under control, and b)i worked retail before the disorder got WORSE, like it has gotten the last couple years. because when I worked it before, sure i was tired, but because i was always moving I was fine. But NOW I also get these waves of extreme exhaustion that mean i need to take a nap RIGHT THEN, and if I don't, I get really sick. So. How am I supposed to work a retail job if there's a chance I'll be incapacitated for at least an hour in the middle of my shift? And when I worked the office job? That was remote. And looking back, I slept half the work day. (I always got my work done anyway, but NO it was not ok to sleep through the work day. I know.) So now here I am, almost 6 months unemployed, about to run out of unemployment money, JUST NOW realizing that it is not physically possible to work. And meanwhile, everyone around me just acts like either "oh haha isnt everyone tired" or like Im overdramatic and making it up. So I went on to a facebook group for people like me, and asked for advice. Every response was "Sorry, no, this never gets better! Also I haven't worked in years! Good luck! <3" And now I'm looking at the rest of my life and realizing im always going to be this way. Im always going to be living at half speed. I will never actually be able to live up to my full potential. How am I ever supposed to work? How do I make money? I've been so hopeful and blase about this whole thing for years and suddenly its not so chill anymore. I'm SO fucking SCARED and Im looking for literally any answer or any help and there is none. You can try medication, but it doesnt always work (and im doing that. and its not working.) Otherwise, ig you just...pray?????? I literally cannot feel this way forever. I cant. That is just not a life at all. What the FUCK am i supposed to do??? (And now Im freaking out bc when this all started i would fall asleep while driving. That hasnt happened since college but what if it changes? What if I cant drive anymore? So many people with these problems simply are not allowed to drive. What the fuck do I do oh my god)

[moltensmusings]

Ok there’s this fic I read where Lucy doesn’t do the s class trials because she becomes the temporary guild master and it’s her building relationships with other characters and making sure Fairytail doesn’t fall behind and I was wondering how that would work in your redesign and rewrite of Fairytail? I think it would make her and Juvia closer and allowing her to become more confident in herself as a mage and leader! (Also jellal is in that fic and it’s so cool how the two interact and it gave jude a redemption arc)

So short of it: within my rewrite it wouldn't fit, but that doesn't mean it's not an interesting concept to explore!

Longer explanation, starting with why i'd keep lucy not staying behind and also explaining how it would effect her dynamic with Juvia if she did stay behind:

while it's been years since I watched Tenrou Island, so much happens in that arc that I feel Lucy being absent would make it feel incomplete. Mashima isn't the best at showing it but she is the main character and should he present for canon major events that happen throughout the show timeline.

I really loved seeing her bond with Cana and I think the tragedy of her being just barely too late to see her father again was one of the few heavy plot points we got that actually made me emotional (shocker most of those moments happened when lucy got actual focus.) I also like the idea of us getting a fair bit of chapters showing the people that stayed behind and what was going on with them to lead up to the tenrou crew returning. So I think not having major players for a bit of the series to allow the side cast to shine would be really cool.

That said: how would lucy staying behind and eventually taking over as guild master change things in my opinion. I think we'd see Lucy bonding with a lot of characters she has minimal interaction with. Macao being one as he'd no doubt be the one to acknowledge her skill and potiential. Since Lucy is so young even in canon I don't think she'd actually get the role for a few years. She'd have a proving stage where she showcases her skills and gains the guilds trust as an authority.

For juvia, I've always imagined Lucy was one of the people who encouraged Juvia to befriend Droy, getting him to teach her about plants as a hobby which leads to Juvia joining shadowgear. I could see Lucy actually kind of integrating into shadowgear in the absence of her normal team and running missions with them to both improve her abilities and help people. They started out on very rough terms due to Juvia's obsession with Gray, but with Juvia actively working to change herself and figure out things she enjoyed, I think Lucy's friendly nature and incredibly supportive attitude when it comes to creativity would've lead to a strong friendship and trust forming. Lucy likely being the first person Juvia makes something for.

Now I can't really speak on jellal because it has been a hot minute since I watched any of his arcs and I honestly just kind of thought he was so-so as a teenager (no hate, just wasnt personally for me. Its one of the reasons im lacking in content for him rn 😔). But I do know he really was lacking in interactions with anyone on team natsu outside of Erza, so him and Lucy would be very interesting to see unfold.

All in all fun idea to play around with but within how I imagine canon not for me.

Thank you for the question and I hope this answered things for you!

[terraliensvent]

Ok civ's response is honestly kinda funny, I should've known only someone equally as delusional could go along with coy's bullshit all this time.

https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/2068868.update

Image link in case it gets deleted: https://imgur.com/a/lDxBSoT

As another unemployed artist the fact they think terra staff "ruined their income" when not only are they absolutely popular enough to make money off their art. They also have coy's audience backing them as well, so this claim is extremely laughable to me. Try having no audience at all and not having a community made up of big spenders from cs communities, then maybe we'll feel a little sympathy.

Or better yet maybe if you and coy contributed an ounce of effort beyond being greedy assholes you'd still be able to make money off the species. But no, clearly they never learn their fucking lesson because every single species they've made eventually gets ruined because of their insistence on running the species according to how much money they can make.

It's genuinely hilarious to me that they both actually think they're the victims in this situation because terra staff finally put their foots down and said they can't keep using the species for money. Go get a damn job if you're that desperate and stop taking advantage of the people who want to actually enjoy the species and especially stop causing issues for the terra staff team who are actually fucking trying despite all the bullshit they've had to go through because of you both.

I'm so tired of them and entitled greedy cs owners in general, I couldn't fathom being this self centered honestly it's sad.

post related

bulletin link

yeah i think im gonna call bullshit on this, lets do a little dissection here

" What they didn't mention was how they banned both coy and myself (even though I had nothing to do with the deletion of the pets/left the conversation civilly before that was discussed), "

even if civ had nothing to do with deleting the pets, i would argue terra staff made the right choice in banning them. what coy did is equivalent to vandalism and can cause further problems if there are issues with code and such. furthermore, wouldnt it make sense to ban civ as well if theyre closely associated and have the power on the account to do more vandalism? civ you werent doing shit for the species other than farting out adopts every week, youll live.

 "..refused to negotiate with us, did not include us in the original discussion about OUR OWN TERMS that were agreed on when we left ownership, and the new owner was unwilling to participate in the discussion originally."

i am SO curious to see what actually went on in staff chat. the conclusion im personally drawing here is that the original discussion occurred in a staff-only chat (somewhere where civ and coy wouldnt be because theyre NOT FUCKING STAFF) and then when the final agreement was reached, they came to civ and coy. maybe they could have gone differently about it but honestly, knwoing now that civ and coy have continually shut down any sort of discussion like this due to their greed (cough cough THIS whole debacle) im not surprised they wouldnt be asked for their two cents.

"Both sides have made mistakes; but the terra staff refused to acknowledge their dishonest and disrespectful actions that led up to this. Had they been willing to compromise and talk to us, this wouldn't have happened. "

again i am just not willing to believe this when civ and coy have a history of being shitty to staff (shall i bring back the receipts?), when cal(tycho) has a history of being a good owner even after the enormous shitshow of what you put him through, when, after you two finally fucked off, things are actually being MOVED FORWARD in the species (like trait guides, new items to allow lim traits, new site assets, all within a timeframe of like. two months. civ and coy had the species for over a fucking year and did nothing. just some food for thought)

like im not going to believe you unless you give adequate proof in the form of screenshots or something. but they probably wouldnt do that because it would most likely show current staff being totally reasonable and you two shitting your diapers over it.

"They silenced me and put their foot down, ruining my source of income as a disabled unemployed artist."

hmm lets crunch some numbers here

you have seven terra adopts that are on your most recent designs tab. presumably you are allowed to keep the money from that because it happened before everything went down

now a lot of these are pretty pricey, the first in the list is $300

however if you go through the rest of their recent designs its all little chibi stuff for around ~$20. that could be a defense for the "wah wah you stole my one source of income" if it werent for the fact these designs almost never go unsold, they have chibi slots open for $45, and they also have fucking isopups to ride the coattails off of. like you will be fine, you have many ways to make money off of your art as opposed to some 10 follower account. this is pop artist bitching at its finest.

and again, it is THEIR FAULT they dont have terra income anymore. how in the world is it fair for them to have more money opportunities than people actively working on the species just because they slapped their names on it.

finally lets do a funny little comment showcase!

people keep equating the old staff team to the new staff team. lets talk about bear, lets talk about kea, lets talk about fucking coy. thats the staff YOU employed, not the people trying to throw together the pieces. you want to again, absolve yourself of all responsibility acting like it wasnt YOUR FRIENDS that YOU picked for the staff team that was causing problems. bear literally caused the first downfall of the species (architechals) and YOUR staff are the ones who ran with it and decided to be petty and immature and make knockoffs. i swear to god this reminds me of people saying shit like "the economy was better under x president!" when the current president inherits the economy of the previous one

jesse please do everyone a favor and just shut up for once, you only care as long as you can profit off of the situation, your wording is so stupid i genuinely lost braincells. civ and coy absolutely do have the means to make money off their art, far more than other people, and the issue with the situation is that theyre making more money off the species than the people actually putting in work to maintain the fucking species, the agreement according to tycho would have STILL allowed them to make more than terra staff but they were too greedy and stupid to just shut up. and to make an ableism argument really just makes me want to bash my head into a wall. civ is not some poor discarded puppy "thrown out in the rain," they have the ability to make a lot more fucking money than most others can off of art, and not to mention they have the ability to use the fans of those they have connections with, like coy or even fucking kea

but in all seriousness, its SO fucking funny to me how theyre acting like civ and coy are some fucking marytrs for terraliens, like they were working sleepless nights to do the best they could each and every day hoping and praying they could make it!! please be fucking for real. again, that species did not even have TRAIT GUIDES for the full calendar year after it was created because civ and coy just didnt give enough of a fuck to do it. listen im gonna ride or die for new staff right now because there is TANGIBLE EVIDENCE of them actually going above and beyond anything ever done under civ and coy. compare #staff-wips from civ and coys reign to now. before, all you would see is adopts. thats it. nothing else just adopts. now, within the course of three months, new staff have come up with unique events, had lore writer, mod, and OA applications, released a new set of forageables THAT GIVE REWARDS, entirely revamped one of the forage areas with plans to do the rest, held the myo compensation event (a feat in and of itself), show CONTINUAL wips of shit actually important to the species (like new items), take in community input, and again, above all else, FINALLY put out trait guides. id say theyre doing fucking leagues more work than civ and coy ever did.

and this is just fucking laughable. ive already made all my arguments, you can see the types of people we are dealing with here. calling jealousy is absurd and downright hilarious

their fanbases need to wake tf up because these people love to victimize themselves and misconstrue shit all day long

[kaoharu]

haruta braid erasure is a form of him losing himself / his youthfulness i think . hear me out

ok so like. s1 haru has his braid in 4/5 albums, the only one he doesn't have it in is idolis, which also happens to be the cd thats vaguely focused on him + his struggles over his flower blooming later than everyone else which kinda ties into his youth and incompetance he feels as the youngest member of anthos

then in s2 he doesnt sport his braid in 1(?)/3 albums, a bit unsure since hes completely turned to the side in the es art, but it could be possible since he has just a ponytail . . . which isn't taht significant bc he still wears his braid out of work, aka when he's still allowed to be young and childish / safe around the rest of anthos ( see in all his twt photos hes still wearing his braid )

but once we get to s3, specifically after fake he "loses" it ? i know he has a braid in other, however the concept theme for that album was them being in school, which is tied to youth and so him having a braid makes sense w what all im saying . . . ? but like right around after other he stops having a visible braid in his twt photos + room and more he still doesn't have his braid . . . also for his bday this year all of anthos was talking abt how much he's grown out of being the youngest child of anthos and owushdkfs. enough.

anyways you could argue that its the different hairstyles theyre giving all of anthos for each album but literally no one changes as much as haruta. like sometimes they get something different but they just change him so much . . . hmhmm <- im running out of thoughts to say

[lawfulneeds]

szayelaporro rant just to feel something . So . he is my beautiful husband yes i know i call him my wife but he is my husband. i am the girl uke bottom idiot woman in this relationship #wedonthavesex BUT i am his princess . because sometimes freakishly tall scruffy asian men need to be princesses ok ? and NO i am not talking about nnoitra (i technically kinda am but id rather kill myself than let myself rant about nnoiszay) but my sweet angel is actually crazy right so like . Why tf would i an exception, but i dont think he experiments on me because he thinks im weak and is like “No, Jack, I’d rather keep you alive. You make good company. Smile.” (yes he says smile out loud, so do i and the rest of my family tree) id like to think he just rubs my head like im not even a being to him and moreso just a specimen who follows him around (SORT OF LIKE HOW NNOITRAS LIKE ‘tesra just follows me around’ BUT NNOITRA AND TESRA ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND WAY MORE COMPLEX IN A WAY ILL SAVE FOR A DIFFERENT TIME) also i hc szayels touchy ^_^ because despite not getting close to his enemies, he’ll caress and lean on the other espada (and the fracciónes too don’t think i forgot) so he just fucking pets me and is like “Aw. How cute, you’re so compliant I almost thought you were braindead!” and then i drool 🤤 ANYWAY. i have a couple strands of hair on my head that my brother likes to call feelers, so i believe they like to feel szayelaporro. WHO HAS THICK HAIR . AHEM…MY THICK HAIRED, WELL MAINTAINED KING. sorry my canon headcanons. he lets me run around inside of his palace and sleep on his bed but im not allowed to touch any equipment 🩷 he genuinely thinks im fucking stupid but like . I’m not (ive analyzed more than he knows) so it’s whatever szayel [insert lawfulneeds beating card here] but i love him! and he loves me! he gives me like some clothes he has and is like “Here. So you can still detect me with your scent.” and it’s lowk sweet ty my angel but hey What? appreciate dat shit on yhwach but do you think im a dog? but hes right i like to Smell him [smiles like the image of squidward where hes like guys it’s okay] i also like to lick him mmm [stomach growls] but im really normal about him. Smile. its also canon in szaylaw lore is that he hits me with his clipboard, on the head, over the head, on the side, in my stomach, on my dick, and other various places and im like “? what i even said” or it goes something like [CENSORED] [REDACTED] [ARCHIVED] [SPOILERED] [BLURRED] [DELETED] [VANISHED] but he also likes to just straight up no diddy beat me [insert lawfulneeds beating cards again] but its one of his many green flags™️ so if you judge him i will fucking kill you until you wake up dead so leave my husband alone!!!!! [clings to him yaoi style, slaps his ass and you hear a screenshot sound] i also just remembered that my brother headcanoned that he annoys nnoitra with his yapping of me and it’s like aww :3 he gaf… but i think it’s more like “(playing with his hair and staring at the ceiling dreamily) Nnoitra you don’t understand. I need him dead.” “(praying mantis accent) do you want me to kill him????? tf?” “(his pupil twitches like in the anime where it just shakes) NO. i mean it in an AFFECTIONATE way you BRUTE. like how i talk about YOU, when i say i want to RIP YOU APART.” “(his eye opens and somehow get more buglike) WHAT DO YOU MEAN BRUTE????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN RIP ME APART????!?!?!?!l” then the two start arguing and maybe even kiss in the middle of it, which confuses the spectating tesra who is trying to calm nnoitra down like “(trying his hardest not to baby voice nnoitra) no nnoitra you’re the strongest espada, szayelaporro doesn’t know what hes talking about” and szayelaporros like “strongest espada? im surprised hes even at number five!” then nnoitra gets even angrier so it doesn’t get any better and its like oouuu….yikes. then it happens again same time next week. but that’s all i have to say about szayelaporro as my husband. Gulp. [turns off livestream]

[vault-kid]

1/2 follow up question: who does Luna have a grudge against??? And how does it manifest if/when she runs into them again?

this was mostly written on my commute so apologies if its vague or poorly worded/written LOLs

Alphonse: This one is i guess pretty self explanatory and obvious? but her grudge started a long time ago, when she was a kid. Luna was a shy kid growing up, but once those pre-teen years hit, her 'sense of justice' (if you can call it that?) also developed. She got into a lot of fights by defending herself or Amata, sometimes questioning the Vault's rules and structure (most of the time this was just done innocently out of curiosity) and obviously she questioned the reason why everyone else disliked her so much? The Overseer being the first. The way he treated her and James, and even Jonas, was something she never understood at first. Him being insanely disapproving of her friendship with Amata pissed Luna off beyond belief, and the thought "I wish he'd drop dead right there and then" has passed through her head countless of times, even as a kid. The day of the escape caused this grudge to grow obviously, so by the time Luna saw him again during Trouble in the Homefront , she had already thought about all the ways she could hurt him. She didn't hurt him like that, though, she couldn't. Since her Speech is one of her top skills, she was able to persuade him without the use of ... physical violence... but she did shut him up verbally. Very dry, very apathetic and cynical (almost cruel) towards him in particular. There's just no sympathy with him, and I like to think that part of the reason why Alphonse steps down as Overseer is cus Luna (aside from the actual canon dialog, yada yada) told him off as a bad father and a failure and hit him where it hurt most (girl told him to kill himself in an indirect and sophisticated way).

The most obvious would be Butch. I won't really talk much about this in complete full detail cus id love to actually talk about their relationship in depth soon but, she has a pretty deep grudge against him for a specific reason. While it was kept a secret from literally everyone else in the Vault, their relationship was rather solid (as solid as hormone-driven, sex repressed teenagers can be) until some shit happened, and Butch left her to deal with the shitshow(s) alone. She doesn't hold a grudge against him for choosing something over her, but more so for leaving her to deal with the aftermath of it all lol. Running into him in the Vault again was whatever. It was awkward, but she never thought they'd see each other again out in the Wasteland, so she actually treated him kindly then. It's only in Rivet City where all of her feelings towards him (both negative and positive) came rushing back, and her grudge resurfacing. She really does have a bad habit of holding things over people's heads, so she'd often times just snap at Butch and remind him how he's treated her and what he did (honestly deserved). There is way more to it, but thats all im saying for now!

Dr. Li: Ok hear me out. Luna's 'grudge' on Li is a bit weird, maybe a bit irrational? idk you be the judge. Luna didn't really have a grudge against Li at first, but she definitely did NOT vibe with her ever. I think her 'grudge' began once she found out Madison had a thing for James, (Luna tried pushing that aside considering she was helping with P.P., but...). However, after James' death, Luna completely shut herself off from everything, and everyone related to the project and James, and that obviously meant Madison (and the B.O.S, etc) for like, a looong time. Because of this, Madison would then treat Luna like shit, as cynical as she always is, and would go on about how she 'couldn't allow the same cause of its abandonment 19 years ago to be the reason it gets delayed more'. All of that upset Luna more aside from grieving James, so she clearly grew a dislike for Li, and whenever they interacted she would close herself off or be cold. Their personalities clashed, both grieving the same person in different ways and Luna knew this, but the way Li made her feel about many things was the cause for that small grudge.

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

holy shit IM LOSING MY MIND??? I’m done it’s over and

I- I’m running out of ways to express my obsession with your Sickfics… I need to invent new words? Or new ways to scream in text form because I need you to understand how fucking AMAZING this new fic is 😭😭😭😭

It’s so damn good???? It’s SO SATISFYING????? HELLO?? oh my word cyno cyno cyno what an absolute mess you are.🥺 poor poor thing!! I love everything in this fic. I love their relationship and how comfy they are together - how much Cyno loved spoiling nari (and tighnari deserves it let’s be real) I love the use of implied both ends!! I feel like it works really well in this case and it’s subtle but I love the implication that maybe Cyno was coming down with a bug before hand since he wasn’t feeling hungry? But then it’s like the heavy food expedited that process. I love the descriptions of fullness and how he just- very quickly - is NOT okay anymore. UHG HIS ANXIETY??? you captured the thought process perfectly of just being seen and being seen too much and the constant what ifs. Idk if Tighnari knew cyno hated being sick in public but he ABSOLUTELY gets the picture now.

OMG and Cyno just refusing to be sick in the public restroom sent me. I was genuinely shocked he managed to not lol 😂😅 like you know you just KNOW that’s so much worse feeling in that situation. Tighnari must have been so concerned and absolutely not buying it at all. Cynos little “I’m fines” when he sounds like he’s close to tears STOP. AH!! And the weakness??? OML his faintness was just so good and I’m feral over all the little details with nari being like “ok if he doesn’t sit he’s going to collapse it’s time for mom mode” and how he takes command in those moments. So damn GOOD. don’t even get me started when Cynos finally sick I can’t. My heart. Just all the worst things he wants to lay down his stomach feels so sick and now there is puke everywhere and- It was such a perfectly written scene 🥺🥺🥺 and the little FOX TOY THAT HE CUDDLES??? I’m gonna DIE?? IM TRULY DEAD?? I LOVE how attentive Tighnari is with his fussing and then very tactful more subtle support, just giving him the toy so Cyno can hug something on the way home cuz even if Tighnari knows cyno would never in public he knows him and knows he wants to be held rn and i -

I believe it’s 100% a tummy bug and not the food and that the ‘heat’ he was feeling was for sure fever and nausea and that maybe it wouldn’t have been this bad but anything he ate that day was going to more or less rot inside him. I have no doubts he was not done with the restroom for a number of reasons after getting home but I absolutely know he was 1000% times more at peace. Except for him replaying the events in his head for all eternity.

I’m truly never going to recover.

amazing fucking work. I’ve already re read this and I will re read again and again and yeah. That’s it. I’m just. Simply. Deceased. 😭😭😭

Thank you for this gift 😭🩷

I AM SCREAMING, I WOKE UP TO THIS IN MY INBOX THIS MORNING AND I WASN'T ABLE TO STOP SMILING AS I READ THROUGH IT 😭 You have no idea how much these comments mean to me, you made my whole day with this!

I am SO HAPPY you enjoyed it this much!! Allow me to get sappy for a moment, it already makes me so happy that people are actually reading what I'm creating, but knowing people enjoy it so much?? It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and it makes me so happy. I enjoy writing sickfics so much, it's just a fun, self-indulgent hobby that I also happen to post online. And just knowing something I created, purely by having fun, is being enjoyed this much?? All the happy emotions!!

Alright, happy sappy earthquake out, let's scream about Cyno!

HE IS, he is such a mess, this poor boy 🥺 I definitely had it in my head that he was beginning to come down with something before the date even started, but having a heavy restaurant meal just made things go south so much faster. I'm really glad to hear I was able to pull off the implied both ends without it seeming too out of place!! It definitely felt like if I was going to have it anywhere, this was the fic for it, Cyno had a very unhappy stomach. He went from "i can handle this" to "i am NOT okay" in the blink of an eye and I feel so bad for doing that to him. THE ANXIETY! THE VULNERABILITY!! He can't stand that other people might just THINK of him as vulnerable, the smallest sign of weakness and he wants no eyes on him immediately. I definitely think Tighnari knew he didn't like being sick in public, but he didn't know it was this bad. He definitely hadn't expected Cyno's anxiety to go through the roof like that.

He BARELY held it together in the bathroom, I think Tighnari was just as surprised that he didn't throw up. Oh Cyno baby, I know you didn't want to get sick in a public bathroom, but you could've spared yourself getting sick in the parking lot. You just know he's going to replay this event in his head a million times thinking where he should've done something differently to make the day somewhat less mortifying.

THE LITTLE FOX!! PLEASE THAT WAS SUCH A FUN LITTLE DETAIL TO ADD. I have a feeling that little thing is going to become a big comfort item for Cyno. Only private because you know he would NEVER let anybody outside of Tighnari know that he even has a stuffed animal, but it'll become a massive comfort for him. We love Tighnari just knowing. He's so good at handling these situations and we adore him for it. He's giving Cyno so many hugs when they're home.

I definitely agree with you there, boy was feverish. His body temperature was all over the place, first the hot flashes and sweating, and then he was feeling shivery?? He's definitely sick sick 🥺 He's definitely not going to be done with the bathroom for a while. In my head I imagine even the drive home is going to be hell, I mean can you imagine being in a moving car on the road when your stomach is feeling as bad as his was? Yeah they definitely pulled over more than once.

ARGH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! I'm genuinely happy you enjoyed it as much as you did!! Again, thank you so much!!

[supurman]

on a further note of clarks kids. it just gets me sad. all of them just got ruined or damaged by dc.

yall do not gotta read this i ended up ranting about the state of clark's son's/potential super successors and it got REAL long. this is more or less word vomit with no coherent structure. truly my raw thoughts but somewhere in here ( the end ) is what i would envision on this blog.

kon had the most potential to me. then they put him through the ringer. they made him. they hardly made him have connections with superman in his comic runs ( they barley interacted beside the beginning and when clark split into 2 ). then they erased all his character and turned into a re-envisioned character who lacked spunk and all the personality that he once had. then they they erased him from comics for years IN GENERAL. what im trying to say is they practically made a perfect superman heir, removed him from supermans contact, REMADE HIS CHARACTER AND DESIGN, deleted him for some years, BROUGHT HIM BACK unexpectedly when he was already replaced by another superboy since dc never planned to have kon ever come back.. and yeah.

chris well he was great at first like most super kids but then his writing gets weird ( the whole night wing spirit thing was random as hell i fear ). once again much like jon did NOT get enough time to be a child before he also just disappears into the void of potential super heirs to never be heard of again like kon. until chris makes a comeback in rebirth. but oop! dcs favorite child is here, jon, so now chris is a villain for some reason in his new imagining and come back.

and finally jon. he had a great start. super sons was great. but then he just kind of made superman of a lesser character once they AGED UP JON. clarks writing suffered for a period because they wanted jon to be superman so bad. its no surprise all of this was a fiasco. dc tried to do something ( i forgot what ), failed, and were trying to work with their huge stupid mistake. i like jon to some degree but unlike the other supers he really is a superman copy-paste from personality to looks to style ro everything. and I MEAN HE LITERALLY IS JUST CLARK 2... thats what made kon so interesting. he had every potential to be the super successor WHILE ALSO BEING WHOLLY UNIQUE. jon was also a stone thrown in clarks timeline by accident. i say this because the first superboy was kon. dc got rid of him. which made clark have a spot for a new superboy, jon! so they make jon. dc then realizes they want to bring kon back from the archive closet. they bring him back and kon comes back to a world where he is ‘replaced’ and feels replaced. he has all this needless pain that makes no sense because he was unintentionally both replaced and brought back to a world that was written without intention to bring him back. so hes like ‘superman has a new superboy now..what does that make me.’ idk if what im saying is making sense here. imagine if dc restarted the dc universe ( as they do ). they have their intentions in mind where kon wont be written and jon will be the superboy. superman never knew kon existed since its a new universe, everyone is a clean slate now. then dc is like man we should bring back original superboy except instead of making him a clean slate we should make him remember his past from the original universe so he can be in needless pain of story line where we never planned him in. do you get me? there is nothing inherently wrong with jon i enjoy him a ton. its just more or less the superboy title and how clark ‘replaced’ kon..IF CLARK WAS ALLOWED TO RMMR KON HE WOULD OF NEVER REPLACED HIM. EVER. HE LOVED HIM?? ok dc i hate you so bad this will all be fixed on this blog.

do i hate any of the kids? no. i just wish they made sense. i wish no aging up happened. i wish kon was never forgotten. i wish chris..made more sense.

anyway in a perfect universe ( ahem, the rocky cinematic universe found here on supurman dot com ) Kon is the first superboy who is adopted by clark and never got forgotten ( by forgotten i mean literally deleted by dc and forced clark to forget about him ), chris would come along later, and clark has jon with lois who would then be their youngest son with NO AGING UP. kon would be most likely to be the next superman but everyone son is a rightful superboy.

[verdantglow]

ooooh okokokok

Grimdark griann and horror terror watcher/listeners sounds SO SICK

Also i hope you know i genuinely laughed when you said he mightve fished it up. And then i was like "Do Trolls fish? Would that be considered an act of aggression against the top two castes?" and then i decided it would be really fucking funny if Griann was fishing and then Scar swam over, and either purposefully or not, got caught on Grianns line, so our beloved candy blood man fishes up his beloved moirail. I imagine it has happened on multiple occasions.

I am so excited you said that because i personally love Cub and Convex so much, they mean so much to me. Also Iskall!! I love that man!!! And Doc would be such a fun addition to the cast (I personally imagine him as an indigo blood because.... well. sometimes he reminds me of Equius. And despite my hatred for Equius i say this in the most affectionate way if that makes sense) (I dont hate Doc hes such a silly guy)

Dont feel too much pressure about the ships! I can't speak on behalf of anyone else but i know i personally am happy to wait to see them whenever youre ready to put them out, although i AM excited to see who.

I think word of mouth spreading also works really well, although I am genuinely so interested in how exactly it got up to Scar in the first place. As in like what is the lineage from Griann to Scar. I feel like I'd need to know the other blood castes of the cast, and also how closely you're sticking to troll society canon in the way that generally high and low bloods dont mesh too often.

Also, if you have decided it. Im very interested in learning who/what everyones lusus is? If you even just have a combination of animals for a few.

I'm assuming you welcome fanart, but if we slightly change designs/make our own designs (for trolls whose designs haven't made their appearance yet), is that ok?

Oh man, I think Griann definitely has to fish now & yes, he 110% fishes Scar up on multiple occasions. Actually, fuck it, that might be how they meet. In fact… while they knew each other to the extent of being vaguely recognized usernames on the VLARP forums earlier, they actually met in person when Scar got tangled up in one of Griann’s (illegal) fishing nets. Griann had been preparing himself for a fight or flight kinda situation when he noticed a violet blood in his nets, but that proved rather unnecessary. Scar, while he gave Griann some crap about how his nets ought to be more visible, was much more interested in chatting than actually in any way making Griann pay for the slight. This became A Thing, Scar occasionally getting caught up in the nets, though it was never really clear how often this was an accident or not. When Griann was looking for people for 3rd Life, he happened to mention it to Scar, who demanded he be allowed to play. Now, at this point, Scar was really just ‘that odd violet blood who can’t avoid nets & talks a lot & thank fuck doesn’t want me culled’ to Griann. However, when Griann recognized his username from around the community, he figured he’d give Scar a chance.

(There is definitely some angst in here somewhere about how Griann didn’t see Scar for multiple perigees after 3rd Life & how despite their moirallegence during the game, Griann came to doubt whether Scar still wanted anything to do with him after the blood bath in the cactus ring…)

Interesting to think of Doc as an indigo blood! Though I am tempted to make him a low blood with no psychic powers…. Hm… I’ll have to give this more thought… (Okay adding this last minute before posting, but gold blood Doc whose lusus is a swarm of bees that help run all his tech. You know. The Hivemind.)

Okay, so lusii. Here’s who I’ve got figured out from my list:

- Scar: some sort of mercat? Like a purrbeast, but aquatic. A murrbeast if you will.

- Lizzie: Gl’bgloyb, ‘cause she’s every fuchsia’s lusus

- Jimmie: canary. It just has to a canary. Tiny fragile bird that Jimmie’s constantly desperately trying to keep alive.

- Tangoh: a warden. Don’t ask me how wardens got on Alternia, but they are definitely a thing there in this AU. Other trolls (especially low bloods who don’t know him) are terrified of Pancakes, but Tangoh mostly regards him with fond exasperation as he needs a lot of looking after.

- Wrehnn: dog/woofbeast, think German Shepard

- Gem: A deer, but if deer were terrifying predators. It looks like a deer for the most part & people tend to underestimate Gem when she shows up on a skittery prey animal. That is, until her lusus opens her mouth & they see the impossible number of teeth she has.

- Bedubs: a horse of some kind, for sure. Maybe a unicorn, who are seen as fearsome beasts on Alternia. After all, what’s more hardcore than having a single, sharp horn for goring on your forehead?

- Pearle: owl-wolf. Like a wolf that’s got giant eyes & owl wings.

- Mummbo: giant moth

- Eethos: arctic fox with moose antlers

- Skizzl: Irish Wolfhound

- Martyn: snow creeper named Colin

- Joel: honey badger named Jeremy

- Cleaoh: Snow leopard

- Bigbee: a frog the size of a pit bull

- Impuls: ground pangolin. Can’t explain this really, but both my fiancé & I came to this independently. So uh I guess Impuls(e) is pangolin coded??? (Something about burrowing, something about being cute as fuck but razor sharp, something about looking like they want to ask you to a middle school dance.)

- Scohtt: sea otter

- Griann: chicken. Might even actually be a Minecraft chicken, not sure how committed to that bit I am.

Whoops totally just got absorbed in this & figured out all the lusii lol. But this was so much fun, my fiancé & I have been researching animals & YouTubers for the last like hour or so & now my search history is all stuff like “weird big cat” & “animals that are cute & friendly but also could definitely kill you.”

I’m sticking to the separation between castes pretty loosely, mostly because (spoiler) a lot of the out of game plot revolves around rebellion against The Condesce. So it would make sense that trolls who want to overthrow the status quo would be less bound by social norms. Every group pretty much has at least a blue blood or higher in it, & at least one low blood. Not necessarily because I planned that, it’s just sorta how things shook out.

For fanart, yes, omg I welcome it so much! If you want to tweak designs a bit or make up a design, that’s cool. (Though also, if you want in AU references for anyone, I’m always happy to throw together a rough reference sheet! Might take me a day or so, depending on spoon levels, but I’d be delighted to have a reason to draw any of the many trolls I haven’t yet!)