#also this is what happens when im allowed to run with thoughts of ok but what if jyl COULD cultivate

[coichii]

PERFECT ✭

when your insecurities swallow you whole, but you have your boyfriend to guide you

pairing: idol!minho x fem!reader

word count: 0.9k

warnings: insecure reader, hurt comfort, lots of crying, cursing, pls dont let this make you think things about yourself 🙏🏾

“You could have anyone you want, why would you want to be with me? I’m nothing special..” - Jealousy- eye dress

You were having a hard time recently. You and your boyfriend had finally gotten the go ahead to make your relationship public from his company. You wanted this, to let everyone know you were his, and you had gotten tons of support from fans, but there was still the hate.

The hate was small at first, a negative comment here and there. You knew this was going to happen, you just weren’t prepared for how much it would actually affect you.

You went from laughing it off, to it making you insecure, to crying. The post about you, the comments about how “ugly” and “fat” you are. The numerous tweets that criticize every single thing you do. It made every last day feel like hell.

Now you were here, reading the comments you swore that you would stop reading as streams of tears ran down your face. You know you shouldn’t be doing this, that it’s not good for you. But you can’t help but feel like you somehow deserved this.

“Y/n, im home!” You heard Minho’s voice say. Fuck. He must have gotten off of work early, he’s not supposed to be home for another hour.

You quickly try to gather yourself as you hear him put down his bag, walking towards the door. You tuck your phone away, before looking for someway to cover your face, but he was already at the door.

“Y/n, how was your d-“ he stops as he takes in your expression. Your eyes were puffy and red, and you just had a genuinely tired look on your face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asks, trying to find out why you appeared as if you had been crying, and most importantly, why you were trying to hide it from him.

“N-nothing.” You lied, and he knew it. Before you could protest he was already sitting on the bed, pulling you into his arms. Minho looked at you with gentle eyes, silently coaxing you to speak. And like a chain reaction, you started sobbing, hiding your face in his shirt.

He immediately started running his hand up and down your back, making you cry even louder, if that was even possible.

“I- I just-“ you tried to say, but the tears made in sound like pathetic chokes as all the emotions you were trying to keep from him, desperately left you.

“It’s ok, take your time.” He whispers, trying to soothe your crying whilst also allowing you to finish. He knew that you needed to get all of this off of your chest.

After a few minutes, you finally stop crying. You peel your face away from Minho’s now soaked shirt, not that it mattered to him anyways. His soft and glossy eyes met yours, giving you all the freedom to speak up when you were ready.

“I was reading comments about me, and it made me start thinking. I don’t deserve you. You deserve better than me, you could be dating any other person, but you’re dating me. I’m not pretty, I’m not that smart, I’m just everything that you aren’t. You’re beautiful min, you’re so talented and smart. I’m nothing, I’m not special at all.” You choked out, letting everything that was pent up in your mind free.

You reconnected your eyes with his, feeling a little guilty when you saw a fresh tear roll out of Minho’s eyes.

When he didn’t respond, a pit of worry built in your stomach. You thought this was the moment that he was going to admit that everything the comments said were in fact true.

You tried to pull away, but his firm arms kept you in place. You looked away, ashamed to even be in his presence, but he brought up a hand and turned your face towards his.

“How did those thoughts come into that pretty brain of yours, hm? You’re so smart y/n, you’re the smartest person I know. You’re incredibly talented at what you do as well. Don’t even get me started, on how beautiful you are. You’re so fucking beautiful that it makes my head spin. You drive me crazy, you know that? You know how hard it is to keep my composure when you wear that dress of yours, how quick my heart races when you simply look at me, and how you make me feel like I’ve ascended to heaven when you simply flash your gorgeous smile at me. God, you’re so intoxicating. I can’t even imagine how these thoughts appeared in your mind when you’re so perfect.”

You were not sure when you began crying again. You thought he didn’t love you anymore, that he was just keeping you around because he didn’t have the heart to tell you. But his confession was anything but that.

“I love you so much, I love you so much that it scares me sometimes. You mean everything to me ok? Let me love you so much that you never think of anything like that ever again.” He asks gently.

“Okay…” you stammer timidly. The things be said repeating in your mind, coaxing your brain like honey and making anything negative thoughts scatter.

“I’m going to run a bath for us now, ok?” He suggested, and you nodded yes before he walked away, starting the water.

Your eyes watered again, this time not out of pain, but out of love. You no longer had to second guess how much love he had for you, you knew now.

You knew that no matter what you were going through, he would always be there for you. No matter what.

Back to masterlist

[malwaredykes]

the untapped Enemy Of The State Potential is one of boones best funniest traits tbh like ok since im in charge of Awesome Flawless FNV Remake Available Exclusively On My Beautiful Mind im rewriting boones personal #journey arc primarily by expanding on it because i mean yeah fatalistic thinking and the question of agency vs authority and having to live with having done something inexcusable and The Denying Of Closure are good themes but to me theyre not enough here. that lack of closure about something that really intrinsically can never entertain the idea of closure is all well and good, but... lets keep going lets put a pin in that. lets turn once again to boones potential for becoming wanted by the ncr government. boone i know you want to go apeshit. its time to admit that its always been about the system youd been conditioned into never questioning and which you continued to mentally cling to as you felt there was no other purpose or direction to your existence in the wake of all the disastrous events in your life. but its time to develop a grasp on your agency as a human being boone. and yes some of that is going to make you feel worse because, Well. The Complicity. bitter springs. but you know what, it is also freeing and the right thing to do. release your inhibitions feel the rain on your skin. youre already there just look around you. youve cut the ropes that held you back, now its time to rip and shred the ropes that still are wrapped around you. its there. youve physically gotten out. and its time to evolve. "now if iiiiii were to assassinate the president 🤔" i know you want to. im not saying you should but i know youve thought about it before. "guess that settler was well-connected" yes isnt that fucked up i know you think thats fucked up. and oh your friend the courier just did something fucked up at mccarran and all these ncr soldiers and staff are trying to shoot them? of course its the courier youre defending when faced with the immediate choice i mean if its between "fuck the ncr. die" and "fuck the person im ride or die for because theyre a force of destiny that entered my life to change it one way or another and now i care about them deeply. die" well of course youre choosing the path of Leave My FACKING FRIEND Alone You Beasts. but of course the situation doesnt have to be this immediately dire. it doesnt have to stem from an immediate danger to your new object of loyalty. we dont have to let it go down this particular route. no need to have something this drastic happen. you can reach this conclusion simply by giving into the desire youve repressed for years to go apeshit at the ncr government and every arm of its hegemony. that bubbling rage? that "if i let this fester inside me im gonna do a fucking murder-suicide about it"? that in a certain timeline you do in fact end up doing a murder-suicide about? thats not just hateful desperation. thats a feeling, hitherto bottled up and unrefined and volatile, that you should allow to breathe and photosynthesize and grow into something beautiful and true and let it blossom and bear fruit. boone, there is no need to feel alone and helpless and directionless in your unfulfilled desire to cut the umbilical cord.

so. enough rationalizing things as rotten spots and necessary burdens in an otherwise inevitable righteous system, you knowwwww thats pure bullshit. my advice, do some reading. reading is fundamental, and luckily for you, you literally know a very literate anarcho-communist. i can guarantee you that you could walk up to arcade and be like "👉👈 hi gannon soooo i want to get into critiques of capitalism and of the military, and into anarchism and other leftist theory. i want to know about Other Ways to run things. could you give me some recommendations? for books and essays and so on. thanks" and he would be like "boone, yes. Absolutely. yes. i will prepare a reading list for you. gosh." and youll be given a stack of books, with notes and a directory. however, if you two are currently on really bad terms to the point where he doesnt wanna talk to you at all, hey, theres other followers of the apocalypse that would be happy to help. providing education is literally one of their main things. either way, youll finally feel vindicated about things that used to make you feel like you were just going insane. boone you werent going insane you were in fact being onto something. baby that time you saw an ncr military police on the strip facing away from you and there was a loose brick on the ground and it was calling to you like the green goblin mask? that time you were at camp forlorn hope and folks kept saying shit like "that red beret is looking good soldier" and you didnt respond or even look at them because you were focused on containing the urge to grab them by the shoulders and start shrieking? well you see those are actually instincts that tell us you have potential. you have the power to end these patterns. you want to. you need to. thats where you should go. theres a world of ideas waiting for you to tap into and be liberated by. you have nothing to lose but your pitiful pension (you can even keep the beret like who cares). there is so much you can do. its not about allegiance or moral debt or soothing personal guilt, its about doing the right thing. there are so many paths in front of you. also youre trans. like, that one also isnt just you going insane, its real and its right and its you, you are transgender

[sludgekludge]

What's your thoughts on Octavia?

she sure does exist

ok real talk, she's inoffensive, but not really a character archetype i care for, the moody goth teenager. i don't hate her though and her situation strikes a chord. brandon (i believe? correct me if im wrong) calling her a cockblocking bitch or whatever was like. kind of insane and offputting. she's in a really sad situation with a shitty dad but the narrative is so determined to defend stolas over everything and now she's in the wrong for being upset over it? gonna use this to jump off and ramble about stolas abandoning his daughter at every turn because i don't really have much to say about via on her own and i've wanted to complain about this like, forever

like 'stolas is a good dad!' when he:

actively has an open affair in front of her that seems to have kickstarted constant fighting between her parents. stolas does not seem to comfort or communicate with octavia over this whatsoever until she literally runs off crying over it in loo-loo land. even then, he's still fixated on specifically blitz protecting him. go look after your fucking daughter instead of whining about the bodyguard you don't need, dude.

tangentially, invites his affair partner (a stranger that is playing a part in actively disrupting octavia's life and relationship with her father) to what is meant to be a daddy-daughter day (ignores the fact she's not having a good time and then acts surprised when she tells him such) and flirts with him sexually in front of his (underage) daughter. seems to ignore octavia's worsening mood in favour of blitz until the aforementioned tears. has little to say for himself when confronted but assures her he won't abandon her. lol. lmao, even.

promptly forgets about something important to her and abandons her to once again in a foreign place to have sexual banter with his affair partner. is an all-powerful demon who could've pulled blitz away from funny sitcom shenanigans at any point to go look for octavia, but has to be reminded by blitz (sexily, for some reason) that they should go look for their daughters after the sitcom shit is cut short by accident. maybe via can't exactly be killed or hurt but literally anything else could've happened to her while she, a presumably quite sheltered teenager, was running around the human world for the first time by herself. she has to get a pep talk from a stranger (the daughter of her fathers affair partner, by the way) about how her dad might be a fuckup but totally loves her, despite having just spent the last afternoon fawning over blitz instead of worrying about octavia. this stranger is also the only adult bothering to look for her in any capacity. octavia would have spent the entire afternoon lost and alone if it weren't for loona being the only one to give a shit.

'what about my daughter', noticeably just kind of goes home with blitz after everything in mastermind and makes no effort to even call or text her. 'erm he was probably traumatised and exhausted-' literally everyone was just under the impression blitz was going to die. i'm sure they're all traumatised and exhausted. stolas lost his powers and his stupid ass house for a little bit, not even forever, over an affair he actively exploited a power dynamic to consciously have, not caring about how it effected his daughter, or the potential future consequences thereof. hitting the impeccable 'i wont abandon you my daughter who i definitely care about' then instantly forgetting she exists 2 seconds later because he of a hole he dug for himself. the point is he once again prioritises blitz over via. was it that easy to forget about her?

tangentially, if you want to believe that stella is an abusive mother (we haven't seen it in the show but i wouldn't be surprised if they wanted you to perceive it that way) then stolas is doing all of this while allowing stella to have octavia. alone, might i add.

via is objectively right to worry stolas is going to abandon her for blitz because he Does. she doesn't appeal to me as a character persay but her situation is miserable enough that i can't bring myself to really dislike her

[spoiled-milk]

can you pretty pretty please do blush blush characters (especially nimh and volks) giving fem reader oral headcannons 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙇🙇🙇🙇

a/n: UM WHAT HAPPENED TO HI HELLO?? jk anon ur so silly THANK YOU FOR MY FIRST ASK AND FIRST NSFW??

i’m gonna throw in some a bonus for funsies because i can and will :33 ALSO IM SORRY ITS SO SHORT IM SO AWK WITH SMUT if u want an elaboration shoot another ask

i kindly ask for minors to not interact with this post because it is nsfw

ok serious time over

content warning: lower caps is intended. nsfw!!! oral mentioned!!! absolutely no minors allowed!!!!

word count: 400~

nimh

nervous and doesn’t know what he’s doing probably

you’re most likely his first so the first couple of times you will need to guide him and show him where to touch you and how to please you

is scared of hurting you so please verbal reassurance would go a long way with him

needs to hold your hand throughout the whole thing he’s just so nervous. expect kitten licks and very gentle ministrations

verbally asks you if he’s doing good and making you feel good. “is this okay?”, “am i hurting you?”, and a lot of pleases

if you moan his name it’s going straight into his dick or pull his hair gently he will transcend into heaven and it too will go straight to his dick

overall a sweet boy, needs some help but definitely gets better with time and practice *wink wink nudge nudge*

volks

when he told you his job was modeling, your first thought was “oh he’s definitely has had past relationship experience if he’s a model. surely right?”

no, no he hasn’t

he hates people what made you think he’s getting any bitches the fuck lmao

but again, he’s like one of those “aww you’re such a cute loser” type shit but he’s really really cute

maybe MAYBE he’s done it once just because he wanted to get it out of the way or something but that’s a small maybe

in my eyes, you’re his first just cuz i said so

either way, very inexperienced you will have to help him a little bit

loves it when you’re vocal about feeling good, but not like super super loud like damn you’ll wake up my neighbors at this rate

is a biter but will not bite your parts off only nibble on them

please please PLEASE praise him he hears it all the time in the professional world, but they don't mean anything to him. however, if you told him he was such a good boy, it would make him feel lightheaded

also pull his hair he likes it just be nice with it

ace

he is such a service top, I mean have you seen his nsfw scene? screams service too

would probably give good head. i personally believe that he’s had previous partners in the past

more experienced when it comes to giving oral so if you’ve never done anything like that before, is more than willing to help guide you and be such a sweetheart while doing it

run your fingers through his hair please it makes him feel so good and scratch his scalp a little pls

loves edging himself more than edging you. he doesn’t like to tease you, but you are more than welcome to tease him to oblivion

would for sure be into overstimulation but would never make you if you didn’t want it (consent is important to him)

[vasito-de-leche]

would it be ok to request a fmn x reader type thing that goes into realizing he’s actually fallen for said reader ? (They can either be human or arcanist whichever interests u more!!),asking cause I saw that post u brought up and now im really curious is all I know your Getting a lot of asks for fmn so I apologize ehhf

;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - "fallen"

Forget Me Not x Reader. 600~ words. angst

all good, nonnie! I don't mind if someone decides to send 10 asks in a row with prompts for the same character lmfao, more power to you lolol

you didn't specify if you wanted headcanons or a fic, so I ended up writing a lil ficlet of the EXACT moment Forget Me Not realizes, which also doubles as the moment he confesses because this man is. a mess.

I also wanted to recapture the vibe from this other FMN fic tofocus on that FMN POV and how hes just. so fucking delusional and how none of the shit he thinks matches the things he does. his body and mind live entirely different realities and i think thats awesome of him

Forget Me Not realizes he's fallen for you the moment he's about to lose you.

Your fist collides against his chest in a weak attempt to push him away - even now, you don't hurt him as much as you should've. In this situation, you have every right to tear him to shreds. To rip him out of your life and throw him far, far away, left to rot.

But you could never do that to him. And that's what hurts him the most.

Because he's done so much worse to you.

This is the last argument you two will ever have, this is the one time he went too far - he's sure of it. Forget Me Not knows this, he's been preparing for this outcome for so long, he knows exactly how it will happen.

At some point, you're going to walk out of that door and never come back. This current expression of yours, the one that makes the knot in his throat tighten and tighten until he wishes he could swallow his own tongue and die on the spot, is the last image he will have of your face. Forget Me Not will think of you each and every night, every single hour of the day, until his memories of you become a poor, deluded simulacrum of what you two could've had or until he drinks himself into oblivion.

He will resent you for leaving and he will hate himself tenfold for allowing this to happen. He will be glad that you're gone, off to greener pastures, and then beg to any God out there for you to come back to him. All of this while he carries on about his day, unyielding and unmoving in his grief. An esteemed member of Manus Vindictae.

This is the day all of his paranoia is justified, but the one thing that throws him off is the suddenness of it all - Forget Me Not, despite constantly dreaming about the day you finally leave him, never expected this to happen so soon. Not on the day his heart finally allows him to admit he's fond of you.

The irony isn't lost on him, he finds it quite hilarious, truth be told.

You yell something he cannot register at him, your open palm pushing him further and further away. Limp and weak, Forget Me Not allows this, his back now resting against the window of his office. Through foggy glasses, he keeps his gaze on the floor hoping that you'll finally run out of things to say - but then, your face comes into view.

It's hard to see you in such a dazed state, and yet Forget Me Not recognizes this mess of blurry colors and shapes as the former love of his life. The sunlight coming from outside surrounds you in an angelical glow, you remain holy even when your fingers dig into his shoulders.

It doesn't hurt, though. He wishes it did. Forget Me Not does not deserve your love, but he will gladly accept your anger and hatred. Why is it so difficult for you to give him that? Why is it so hard for him to let go of you?

"Do you really have nothing to say?! Nothing at all? After all of that?"

Forget Me Not doesn't reply. He can't even remember the words that came out of his mouth to make you react like this. He's forgotten how to talk and just the thought of missing his lines is enough to humiliate him - you play your role so well, and here he is, fumbling the part. To match the crying saint in front of him, Forget Me Not needs to deliver the best performance of his life, a monster worthy of your divinity.

The Snake of The Walden stands tall and proud, looming over you (Forget Me Not stumbles and falls to his knees, unable to steady himself).

It coils itself around your hand, cold scales scratching against your skin (with shaking hands, he clings onto anything he can reach - your hands, your clothes)

Piercing eyes stare down at you, mocking and condescending in their superiority (everything is so blurry, so wet. why is he crying?)

Finally, the Snake speaks. The words that spill from its mouth are vile, rattling the foundation of the earth.

"I'm sorry, I love you."

[jacenotjason]

OK this will be an extremely long ask i am sorry. i love radford

i havent sent an ask to people in years but i am one of the radford fans of all time and demonic possession is a fun concept to me, so the idea of gadreel possessing him specifically makes me INSANE

i just think itd work extremely well. radford doesnt take anything seriously and doesnt understand boundaries, but he always puts his concern for others first and his well-being last. he annoys father gregor and compares him to priests hes seen in the movies, and he does spray holy water + offer free candy against kevins wishes, but he also warns rick about the trouble he could get himself into when not giving the right movie tickets, and helps kevin with his job with no pay in mind. hes annoying, but his heart is in the right place

but gadreel is the Ultimate Prankster. him trying to imitate radford would backfire Hard, because gadreels idea of fun is,, More Extreme. he allows kids to enter adult films, he steals candy and says its fine since hes friends with kevin, he tells his friends and brother to break the rules and disrespect authority, etc etc. im unsure what gadreels motives are other than to ruin everyones day, but hes doing a damn good job at it. all the blame is going to radford, and honestly, its just So Easy to blame him for it

i imagine it takes a while for most people to figure out that somethings wrong with radford. he does what he wants freely, wherever and whenever, so these mistakes could be rationalized by him having an off-day. i assume rad would look extremely tired after a days long session of gadreel torturing him (because he loves pushing the human body. bill cipher behavior). but i think what makes everyone truly concerned is when "radford" starts involving Others in his antics

it isnt like rad to encourage bad behavior. he would never tell rick to swap the prices of two items at his new job, or tell robert the best blind spots to steal from stores, or forcing kevin to take his anger out on someones property. the radford everyone knows is ditzy, but kindhearted. if theres trouble, radford would be the only perpetrator

and god, imagine how much worse it gets if "radford" gets in trouble with the police. john would be frustrated seeing his own nephew be so careless and cruel all of a sudden. itd probably even make him spiral and assume the cult had something to do with it, and that john and his family arent safe like he thought. and i think gadreel relishes in that knowledge

im also so curious as to how gadreel and radford met and how long the possession lasted, maybe it was a week? in my head, he came to radford in the form of a snake before revealing his true self and attacking, leaving no time for rad to fully process it and run away. i also assume skid and pump will have some involvement, and pumps eyes turning blue will be a clear sign that "radford" is associated with a demonic entity, or Is one. either way i love gadreels character being a "twisted" version of radfords if that makes sense

so um ya sorry for the longest ask ever. heres a drawing

OPOOOHMYGOHMOSIEJHIOSRHGIUSADHRUITGHSDUIGSDB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!??!?!?!?!? FUCK OK OKAYAKOAJTYAOKATY THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO COOL

THANK YOU FOR THE DRAWING, EATING IT, YOUR POINTS ARE ALL CORRECT

Unlike Moloch whose possessions are more brutal and obvious, Gadreel hides and youre so right! Hes here for the long haul babey!!

yes i imagine the possession lasted about a week, week and a half. Gadreel can't feel pain (at least Radfords pain i mean, he has a higher pain tolerance, as a demon yknow) so he could very well accidentally snap a bone as Radford and not even notice. What im saying is Rad is hospitalized afterwards

AUGHHH the police thing. Gadreel sees the cops and WANTS to get caught by them, just for goofs. in a "Oh what would happen if i did this :)" way.

GOD THIS IS SO COOL YOURE LITERALLY THE BEST

OH!! AND ON THE SUBJECT OF HOW RAD AND GADREEL MET !!

Instead of possessing Patty in the morgue, Gadreel took the form of a snake and.... left lmao. or got noticed and thrown out bc oh my god a snake

he ended up near the candyclub and radford was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gadreel saw Radford as a hiding place and a means to have fun.

I imagine Moloch doesnt care about what his vessels look like, meanwhile Gadreel won't possess someone if he thinks theyre lame. like yeah he couldve possessed patty but then he would've had to.... do stuff. eugh. This guy looked WAY more fun.

im actually vibrating yourel iterally the coolest dawg.

[kinkandkreep]

Yandere Alphabet Continued: Shuji Hanma (Tokyo Revengers)

Letters A-M here

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Shuji’s punishments can be physical, mostly some less than playful roughhousing should you decide to do something he doesn’t like

He’s actually not super fond of punishments outside of the humiliation aspect of them, mostly because he kind of likes to see you crying or in some distress

Only if it’s caused by him though

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Shuji’s not super interested in taking away your rights

He may prohibit you from doing certain things and limit your actions, but as for just outright being like “you no longer have the right to see your family,” or something like that, he doesn’t really have that inclination

He kinda thinks it’s fun to see how far you’re willing to push the boundary between what he will and won’t allow, even if he hasn’t made mention of what those things are explicitly

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I dunno if I’d call Shuji patient exactly, but I will say that he lets you slide with some things more than most 

Shuji’s just not a very uptight guy, so what looks to be patience is actually nonchalance  

Now, that’s not to say that he can’t get fed up

He can, and if you push him too far, he will 

But he’s got a greater tolerance for any bs you might try to pull than others only because he knows that if he were in your situation, and hell, even if not, he would do the same thing

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

This may or may not come as a surprise, but it’s actually highly unlikely that you’ll die while in Shuji’s care or under his supervision, so we won’t touch on that

Just upping and leaving is not an option, unless there’s some sort of extenuating circumstance that requires you to like…ion know, leave out the country or something (and even then, Shuji loves adventure, so he may just follow you then too 🙃)

If you were to escape, Shuji would definitely hunt you down

He loves the thrill of the chase, and while after too long he may grow a bit bored, the thought of your expression and reaction when he finally catches you will keep him going for a while yet

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Feelings like guilt and Shuji Hanma don’t really mix in my mind 😂

Like, I don’t necessarily think he’s incapable of feeling it, he’s just not inclined to

So I’ma say no, Shuji would decidedly not feel guilty if he kidnapped you

He would also not let you go

You are his precious little doll and he loves you too much to just let you leave him

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Shuji’s childhood and much if not all of his backstory is an enigma

That said, it’s kinda hard to pinpoint where exactly the yandere aspect of this iteration of him came from

I would honestly say that Shuji most likely has some undiagnosed mental illness, and that his yandere tendencies stem from that

There’s also something to be said about a deeply hidden sense of loneliness and a craving for affection that permeates deep into Shuji’s being, and that he’s just suppressed all his life

When he encounters you, and begins feeling things he’s not felt before, he kinda just takes the feeling and runs with it, as he’s done with everything else he’s ever felt

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Not as amused as you would think, believe it or not

Shuji may act like an ass but somewhere within him lies the desire for you to love him in return

He knows being terrible and kidnapping you is probably not the best way to make that happen but he’s still figuring it out ok? Cut ‘im some slack, these are new feelings he’s dealing with

A small part of him would be amused, the normal part of him that everyone sees and knows

But a larger part of him is distressed, though he hides it well

He doesn’t want to hurt you, honest!

And he really doesn’t even want to see you cry, for the most part

So if you did behave in such a manner, it would likely cause him to internally panic

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

I mentioned this a little earlier I think but Shuji likes to drag you around to the various fights he gets into and have you watch and cheer him on from the sidelines

That sounds weird, and it is, but hey 🤷🏾‍♀️

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Another one who’s pretty unflappable

But, I could feasibly see Shuji growing bored of you and ceasing his pursuit of you if you just never have any reaction to anything

Which, let’s face it, will be pretty hard to do but if you’re willing to give it a try ‘cus you’re just that desperate to escape…

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Shuji might accidentally hurt you

A lot actually 🙃

He just gets so excited and forgets his own strength sometimes

But now intentionally? 

Only if you’ve absolutely pushed him to the edge 

And then over it

Don’t worry though, something like this would be incredibly difficult to achieve 

But trust me, you do not want to push it

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

I don’t think Shuji reveres or worships you

He’s not the type for that

He does have an appreciation for you though, and he recognizes that you are a little sliver of good in a world that’s pretty much gone to shit

He can respect that about you

As for winning you over, he’s not overly concerned with that either

He wants you to love him, sure, but you don’t have to be drooling over him 25/8 for him to be satisfied

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Shuji “pines” for about as long as you probably assume he would. 

Which is to say, not long. 🙃

When Shuji realizes that he wants to possess you and subsequently your heart, he immediately begins making moves to do just that

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Shuji possesses the potential to break you intentionally and unintentionally.

He can be overbearing in the most literal sense, monopolizing, occasionally inconsiderate of your feelings as it relates to your autonomy and overall just wild and incorrigible. 

He’s more likely to break you if he abducts you and is subsequently in contact with you more consistently. 

He’ll more easily wear you down and whittle away at your patience and sanity if he can keep you in close proximity.   

I personally don’t think he’d ever try particularly hard to break you, but the thought might enter his mind and he may be inclined to pursue the notion. 🙃

Let’s hope for your sake, he doesn’t. 

[captainimprobable]

I've known i had a sleep disorder for like 13 years, but didn't get diagnosed with anything til last year, and until LITERALLY THIS WEEK even though it's been hard and even though I've cried over it multiple times, I've been able to be like "hehe haha i have sleepy bitch disease" but i just suddenly realized that i actually have a real, tangible disability. And I KNEW that, and I was never hung up on that word or anything, but I've been fine bc sure it's been impacting my life, but I've always managed to hold down jobs right??? And then I thought about it. I managed at Trader Joe's bc I was active all the time. So I thought "oh, okay, while i get this disorder under control, I can work retail". Except I realized that a) this disorder will never be under control, and b)i worked retail before the disorder got WORSE, like it has gotten the last couple years. because when I worked it before, sure i was tired, but because i was always moving I was fine. But NOW I also get these waves of extreme exhaustion that mean i need to take a nap RIGHT THEN, and if I don't, I get really sick. So. How am I supposed to work a retail job if there's a chance I'll be incapacitated for at least an hour in the middle of my shift? And when I worked the office job? That was remote. And looking back, I slept half the work day. (I always got my work done anyway, but NO it was not ok to sleep through the work day. I know.) So now here I am, almost 6 months unemployed, about to run out of unemployment money, JUST NOW realizing that it is not physically possible to work. And meanwhile, everyone around me just acts like either "oh haha isnt everyone tired" or like Im overdramatic and making it up. So I went on to a facebook group for people like me, and asked for advice. Every response was "Sorry, no, this never gets better! Also I haven't worked in years! Good luck! <3" And now I'm looking at the rest of my life and realizing im always going to be this way. Im always going to be living at half speed. I will never actually be able to live up to my full potential. How am I ever supposed to work? How do I make money? I've been so hopeful and blase about this whole thing for years and suddenly its not so chill anymore. I'm SO fucking SCARED and Im looking for literally any answer or any help and there is none. You can try medication, but it doesnt always work (and im doing that. and its not working.) Otherwise, ig you just...pray?????? I literally cannot feel this way forever. I cant. That is just not a life at all. What the FUCK am i supposed to do??? (And now Im freaking out bc when this all started i would fall asleep while driving. That hasnt happened since college but what if it changes? What if I cant drive anymore? So many people with these problems simply are not allowed to drive. What the fuck do I do oh my god)

[moltensmusings]

Ok there’s this fic I read where Lucy doesn’t do the s class trials because she becomes the temporary guild master and it’s her building relationships with other characters and making sure Fairytail doesn’t fall behind and I was wondering how that would work in your redesign and rewrite of Fairytail? I think it would make her and Juvia closer and allowing her to become more confident in herself as a mage and leader! (Also jellal is in that fic and it’s so cool how the two interact and it gave jude a redemption arc)

So short of it: within my rewrite it wouldn't fit, but that doesn't mean it's not an interesting concept to explore!

Longer explanation, starting with why i'd keep lucy not staying behind and also explaining how it would effect her dynamic with Juvia if she did stay behind:

while it's been years since I watched Tenrou Island, so much happens in that arc that I feel Lucy being absent would make it feel incomplete. Mashima isn't the best at showing it but she is the main character and should he present for canon major events that happen throughout the show timeline.

I really loved seeing her bond with Cana and I think the tragedy of her being just barely too late to see her father again was one of the few heavy plot points we got that actually made me emotional (shocker most of those moments happened when lucy got actual focus.) I also like the idea of us getting a fair bit of chapters showing the people that stayed behind and what was going on with them to lead up to the tenrou crew returning. So I think not having major players for a bit of the series to allow the side cast to shine would be really cool.

That said: how would lucy staying behind and eventually taking over as guild master change things in my opinion. I think we'd see Lucy bonding with a lot of characters she has minimal interaction with. Macao being one as he'd no doubt be the one to acknowledge her skill and potiential. Since Lucy is so young even in canon I don't think she'd actually get the role for a few years. She'd have a proving stage where she showcases her skills and gains the guilds trust as an authority.

For juvia, I've always imagined Lucy was one of the people who encouraged Juvia to befriend Droy, getting him to teach her about plants as a hobby which leads to Juvia joining shadowgear. I could see Lucy actually kind of integrating into shadowgear in the absence of her normal team and running missions with them to both improve her abilities and help people. They started out on very rough terms due to Juvia's obsession with Gray, but with Juvia actively working to change herself and figure out things she enjoyed, I think Lucy's friendly nature and incredibly supportive attitude when it comes to creativity would've lead to a strong friendship and trust forming. Lucy likely being the first person Juvia makes something for.

Now I can't really speak on jellal because it has been a hot minute since I watched any of his arcs and I honestly just kind of thought he was so-so as a teenager (no hate, just wasnt personally for me. Its one of the reasons im lacking in content for him rn 😔). But I do know he really was lacking in interactions with anyone on team natsu outside of Erza, so him and Lucy would be very interesting to see unfold.

All in all fun idea to play around with but within how I imagine canon not for me.

Thank you for the question and I hope this answered things for you!

[terraliensvent]

Ok civ's response is honestly kinda funny, I should've known only someone equally as delusional could go along with coy's bullshit all this time.

https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/2068868.update

Image link in case it gets deleted: https://imgur.com/a/lDxBSoT

As another unemployed artist the fact they think terra staff "ruined their income" when not only are they absolutely popular enough to make money off their art. They also have coy's audience backing them as well, so this claim is extremely laughable to me. Try having no audience at all and not having a community made up of big spenders from cs communities, then maybe we'll feel a little sympathy.

Or better yet maybe if you and coy contributed an ounce of effort beyond being greedy assholes you'd still be able to make money off the species. But no, clearly they never learn their fucking lesson because every single species they've made eventually gets ruined because of their insistence on running the species according to how much money they can make.

It's genuinely hilarious to me that they both actually think they're the victims in this situation because terra staff finally put their foots down and said they can't keep using the species for money. Go get a damn job if you're that desperate and stop taking advantage of the people who want to actually enjoy the species and especially stop causing issues for the terra staff team who are actually fucking trying despite all the bullshit they've had to go through because of you both.

I'm so tired of them and entitled greedy cs owners in general, I couldn't fathom being this self centered honestly it's sad.

post related

bulletin link

yeah i think im gonna call bullshit on this, lets do a little dissection here

" What they didn't mention was how they banned both coy and myself (even though I had nothing to do with the deletion of the pets/left the conversation civilly before that was discussed), "

even if civ had nothing to do with deleting the pets, i would argue terra staff made the right choice in banning them. what coy did is equivalent to vandalism and can cause further problems if there are issues with code and such. furthermore, wouldnt it make sense to ban civ as well if theyre closely associated and have the power on the account to do more vandalism? civ you werent doing shit for the species other than farting out adopts every week, youll live.

 "..refused to negotiate with us, did not include us in the original discussion about OUR OWN TERMS that were agreed on when we left ownership, and the new owner was unwilling to participate in the discussion originally."

i am SO curious to see what actually went on in staff chat. the conclusion im personally drawing here is that the original discussion occurred in a staff-only chat (somewhere where civ and coy wouldnt be because theyre NOT FUCKING STAFF) and then when the final agreement was reached, they came to civ and coy. maybe they could have gone differently about it but honestly, knwoing now that civ and coy have continually shut down any sort of discussion like this due to their greed (cough cough THIS whole debacle) im not surprised they wouldnt be asked for their two cents.

"Both sides have made mistakes; but the terra staff refused to acknowledge their dishonest and disrespectful actions that led up to this. Had they been willing to compromise and talk to us, this wouldn't have happened. "

again i am just not willing to believe this when civ and coy have a history of being shitty to staff (shall i bring back the receipts?), when cal(tycho) has a history of being a good owner even after the enormous shitshow of what you put him through, when, after you two finally fucked off, things are actually being MOVED FORWARD in the species (like trait guides, new items to allow lim traits, new site assets, all within a timeframe of like. two months. civ and coy had the species for over a fucking year and did nothing. just some food for thought)

like im not going to believe you unless you give adequate proof in the form of screenshots or something. but they probably wouldnt do that because it would most likely show current staff being totally reasonable and you two shitting your diapers over it.

"They silenced me and put their foot down, ruining my source of income as a disabled unemployed artist."

hmm lets crunch some numbers here

you have seven terra adopts that are on your most recent designs tab. presumably you are allowed to keep the money from that because it happened before everything went down

now a lot of these are pretty pricey, the first in the list is $300

however if you go through the rest of their recent designs its all little chibi stuff for around ~$20. that could be a defense for the "wah wah you stole my one source of income" if it werent for the fact these designs almost never go unsold, they have chibi slots open for $45, and they also have fucking isopups to ride the coattails off of. like you will be fine, you have many ways to make money off of your art as opposed to some 10 follower account. this is pop artist bitching at its finest.

and again, it is THEIR FAULT they dont have terra income anymore. how in the world is it fair for them to have more money opportunities than people actively working on the species just because they slapped their names on it.

finally lets do a funny little comment showcase!

people keep equating the old staff team to the new staff team. lets talk about bear, lets talk about kea, lets talk about fucking coy. thats the staff YOU employed, not the people trying to throw together the pieces. you want to again, absolve yourself of all responsibility acting like it wasnt YOUR FRIENDS that YOU picked for the staff team that was causing problems. bear literally caused the first downfall of the species (architechals) and YOUR staff are the ones who ran with it and decided to be petty and immature and make knockoffs. i swear to god this reminds me of people saying shit like "the economy was better under x president!" when the current president inherits the economy of the previous one

jesse please do everyone a favor and just shut up for once, you only care as long as you can profit off of the situation, your wording is so stupid i genuinely lost braincells. civ and coy absolutely do have the means to make money off their art, far more than other people, and the issue with the situation is that theyre making more money off the species than the people actually putting in work to maintain the fucking species, the agreement according to tycho would have STILL allowed them to make more than terra staff but they were too greedy and stupid to just shut up. and to make an ableism argument really just makes me want to bash my head into a wall. civ is not some poor discarded puppy "thrown out in the rain," they have the ability to make a lot more fucking money than most others can off of art, and not to mention they have the ability to use the fans of those they have connections with, like coy or even fucking kea

but in all seriousness, its SO fucking funny to me how theyre acting like civ and coy are some fucking marytrs for terraliens, like they were working sleepless nights to do the best they could each and every day hoping and praying they could make it!! please be fucking for real. again, that species did not even have TRAIT GUIDES for the full calendar year after it was created because civ and coy just didnt give enough of a fuck to do it. listen im gonna ride or die for new staff right now because there is TANGIBLE EVIDENCE of them actually going above and beyond anything ever done under civ and coy. compare #staff-wips from civ and coys reign to now. before, all you would see is adopts. thats it. nothing else just adopts. now, within the course of three months, new staff have come up with unique events, had lore writer, mod, and OA applications, released a new set of forageables THAT GIVE REWARDS, entirely revamped one of the forage areas with plans to do the rest, held the myo compensation event (a feat in and of itself), show CONTINUAL wips of shit actually important to the species (like new items), take in community input, and again, above all else, FINALLY put out trait guides. id say theyre doing fucking leagues more work than civ and coy ever did.

and this is just fucking laughable. ive already made all my arguments, you can see the types of people we are dealing with here. calling jealousy is absurd and downright hilarious

their fanbases need to wake tf up because these people love to victimize themselves and misconstrue shit all day long

[wonderxshows]

haruta braid erasure is a form of him losing himself / his youthfulness i think . hear me out

ok so like. s1 haru has his braid in 4/5 albums, the only one he doesn't have it in is idolis, which also happens to be the cd thats vaguely focused on him + his struggles over his flower blooming later than everyone else which kinda ties into his youth and incompetance he feels as the youngest member of anthos

then in s2 he doesnt sport his braid in 1(?)/3 albums, a bit unsure since hes completely turned to the side in the es art, but it could be possible since he has just a ponytail . . . which isn't taht significant bc he still wears his braid out of work, aka when he's still allowed to be young and childish / safe around the rest of anthos ( see in all his twt photos hes still wearing his braid )

but once we get to s3, specifically after fake he "loses" it ? i know he has a braid in other, however the concept theme for that album was them being in school, which is tied to youth and so him having a braid makes sense w what all im saying . . . ? but like right around after other he stops having a visible braid in his twt photos + room and more he still doesn't have his braid . . . also for his bday this year all of anthos was talking abt how much he's grown out of being the youngest child of anthos and owushdkfs. enough.

anyways you could argue that its the different hairstyles theyre giving all of anthos for each album but literally no one changes as much as haruta. like sometimes they get something different but they just change him so much . . . hmhmm <- im running out of thoughts to say

[yumizzer]

narcissistic mothers: ruining your birthday 101

i've never said anything in here, especially because the purpose of this account was always to share the beautiful art that resonated with my feelings at the moment, without the need of actually saying something. throughout the years of this account's existence, a lot happened, and even thought im not the most active user (its the opposite, actually), i feel like i've been helped a lot of times, and maybe this bad-english-not-the-words-i-wanted text can also resonate with someone, if there's still someone out there.

i found out when i was 15 that my mother's behaviour had a specific name: narcissism (thanks to jennette mccurdy). all the years i spent living with her were absolutely hell, and i was able to run away from the house i used to live with her when i turned 18. four years later and she is still trying to ruin every special moment for me, like my birthday, in three days. it is actually a very common behaviour for a narcissistic person to have, and at first i felt guilty because "i should be used to it by now after all the therapy sessions". but i'd like to remind you, if you're also going through something similar, that we're human. it's ok to take a step back and admit that we miss what that person could be as a mom, dad, boyfriend or friend. it's not easy dealing with someone like that, and it shouldn't be so common to learn how to.

and of all the many special days of the year narcissistic people use to make you feel awful and unloved, birthdays are the top one favorite. it seems to be very hard for them to live through a day where they are not the main star and it's not their show. so, usually, they really do make an effort to find a reason or a way to ruin your happiness completely. this year, for example, my mom fought me because i have plans of going on a little trip with my boyfriend for my birthday. she said that birthdays should be a family event and that, as her daughter, i should care more about my mom. funny thing is: for the last three years she didn't care to participate in any of my birthdays. this time she's mad at me because someone (my boyfriend) is trying to make me happy. so, if i am actually going to be happy at my birthday, she has to be the reason. if she can't, it's better to ruin everything.

of course i won't let her. my day is still going to be awesome, especially because her behaviour is something that i can't control and i'm not willing to spend every birthday crying because she doesn't feel like she's getting enough attention. i'd like to reinforce, thought, that i'm only able to avoid her on my birthday because i dont live with her anymore, and i know it's not easy when they're around. what i used to do when i still lived with her was to try to put the situation in the most rational perspective possible. "it's not my fault she's acting like this, a regular mom would never say that, none of what she's saying makes sense and i know i'm not that bad of a person to receive this type of treatment". but if you can and if it's safe, leave like i did.

but don't you ever allow that narcissistic person to convince you you're not worthy of having a decent birthday or christmas or whatever it is. you deserve to be happy and you will.

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

holy shit IM LOSING MY MIND??? I’m done it’s over and

I- I’m running out of ways to express my obsession with your Sickfics… I need to invent new words? Or new ways to scream in text form because I need you to understand how fucking AMAZING this new fic is 😭😭😭😭

It’s so damn good???? It’s SO SATISFYING????? HELLO?? oh my word cyno cyno cyno what an absolute mess you are.🥺 poor poor thing!! I love everything in this fic. I love their relationship and how comfy they are together - how much Cyno loved spoiling nari (and tighnari deserves it let’s be real) I love the use of implied both ends!! I feel like it works really well in this case and it’s subtle but I love the implication that maybe Cyno was coming down with a bug before hand since he wasn’t feeling hungry? But then it’s like the heavy food expedited that process. I love the descriptions of fullness and how he just- very quickly - is NOT okay anymore. UHG HIS ANXIETY??? you captured the thought process perfectly of just being seen and being seen too much and the constant what ifs. Idk if Tighnari knew cyno hated being sick in public but he ABSOLUTELY gets the picture now.

OMG and Cyno just refusing to be sick in the public restroom sent me. I was genuinely shocked he managed to not lol 😂😅 like you know you just KNOW that’s so much worse feeling in that situation. Tighnari must have been so concerned and absolutely not buying it at all. Cynos little “I’m fines” when he sounds like he’s close to tears STOP. AH!! And the weakness??? OML his faintness was just so good and I’m feral over all the little details with nari being like “ok if he doesn’t sit he’s going to collapse it’s time for mom mode” and how he takes command in those moments. So damn GOOD. don’t even get me started when Cynos finally sick I can’t. My heart. Just all the worst things he wants to lay down his stomach feels so sick and now there is puke everywhere and- It was such a perfectly written scene 🥺🥺🥺 and the little FOX TOY THAT HE CUDDLES??? I’m gonna DIE?? IM TRULY DEAD?? I LOVE how attentive Tighnari is with his fussing and then very tactful more subtle support, just giving him the toy so Cyno can hug something on the way home cuz even if Tighnari knows cyno would never in public he knows him and knows he wants to be held rn and i -

I believe it’s 100% a tummy bug and not the food and that the ‘heat’ he was feeling was for sure fever and nausea and that maybe it wouldn’t have been this bad but anything he ate that day was going to more or less rot inside him. I have no doubts he was not done with the restroom for a number of reasons after getting home but I absolutely know he was 1000% times more at peace. Except for him replaying the events in his head for all eternity.

I’m truly never going to recover.

amazing fucking work. I’ve already re read this and I will re read again and again and yeah. That’s it. I’m just. Simply. Deceased. 😭😭😭

Thank you for this gift 😭🩷

I AM SCREAMING, I WOKE UP TO THIS IN MY INBOX THIS MORNING AND I WASN'T ABLE TO STOP SMILING AS I READ THROUGH IT 😭 You have no idea how much these comments mean to me, you made my whole day with this!

I am SO HAPPY you enjoyed it this much!! Allow me to get sappy for a moment, it already makes me so happy that people are actually reading what I'm creating, but knowing people enjoy it so much?? It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and it makes me so happy. I enjoy writing sickfics so much, it's just a fun, self-indulgent hobby that I also happen to post online. And just knowing something I created, purely by having fun, is being enjoyed this much?? All the happy emotions!!

Alright, happy sappy earthquake out, let's scream about Cyno!

HE IS, he is such a mess, this poor boy 🥺 I definitely had it in my head that he was beginning to come down with something before the date even started, but having a heavy restaurant meal just made things go south so much faster. I'm really glad to hear I was able to pull off the implied both ends without it seeming too out of place!! It definitely felt like if I was going to have it anywhere, this was the fic for it, Cyno had a very unhappy stomach. He went from "i can handle this" to "i am NOT okay" in the blink of an eye and I feel so bad for doing that to him. THE ANXIETY! THE VULNERABILITY!! He can't stand that other people might just THINK of him as vulnerable, the smallest sign of weakness and he wants no eyes on him immediately. I definitely think Tighnari knew he didn't like being sick in public, but he didn't know it was this bad. He definitely hadn't expected Cyno's anxiety to go through the roof like that.

He BARELY held it together in the bathroom, I think Tighnari was just as surprised that he didn't throw up. Oh Cyno baby, I know you didn't want to get sick in a public bathroom, but you could've spared yourself getting sick in the parking lot. You just know he's going to replay this event in his head a million times thinking where he should've done something differently to make the day somewhat less mortifying.

THE LITTLE FOX!! PLEASE THAT WAS SUCH A FUN LITTLE DETAIL TO ADD. I have a feeling that little thing is going to become a big comfort item for Cyno. Only private because you know he would NEVER let anybody outside of Tighnari know that he even has a stuffed animal, but it'll become a massive comfort for him. We love Tighnari just knowing. He's so good at handling these situations and we adore him for it. He's giving Cyno so many hugs when they're home.

I definitely agree with you there, boy was feverish. His body temperature was all over the place, first the hot flashes and sweating, and then he was feeling shivery?? He's definitely sick sick 🥺 He's definitely not going to be done with the bathroom for a while. In my head I imagine even the drive home is going to be hell, I mean can you imagine being in a moving car on the road when your stomach is feeling as bad as his was? Yeah they definitely pulled over more than once.

ARGH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! I'm genuinely happy you enjoyed it as much as you did!! Again, thank you so much!!

[supurman-a]

on a further note of clarks kids. it just gets me sad. all of them just got ruined or damaged by dc.

yall do not gotta read this i ended up ranting about the state of clark's son's/potential super successors and it got REAL long. this is more or less word vomit with no coherent structure. truly my raw thoughts but somewhere in here ( the end ) is what i would envision on this blog.

kon had the most potential to me. then they put him through the ringer. they made him. they hardly made him have connections with superman in his comic runs ( they barley interacted beside the beginning and when clark split into 2 ). then they erased all his character and turned into a re-envisioned character who lacked spunk and all the personality that he once had. then they they erased him from comics for years IN GENERAL. what im trying to say is they practically made a perfect superman heir, removed him from supermans contact, REMADE HIS CHARACTER AND DESIGN, deleted him for some years, BROUGHT HIM BACK unexpectedly when he was already replaced by another superboy since dc never planned to have kon ever come back.. and yeah.

chris well he was great at first like most super kids but then his writing gets weird ( the whole night wing spirit thing was random as hell i fear ). once again much like jon did NOT get enough time to be a child before he also just disappears into the void of potential super heirs to never be heard of again like kon. until chris makes a comeback in rebirth. but oop! dcs favorite child is here, jon, so now chris is a villain for some reason in his new imagining and come back.

and finally jon. he had a great start. super sons was great. but then he just kind of made superman of a lesser character once they AGED UP JON. clarks writing suffered for a period because they wanted jon to be superman so bad. its no surprise all of this was a fiasco. dc tried to do something ( i forgot what ), failed, and were trying to work with their huge stupid mistake. i like jon to some degree but unlike the other supers he really is a superman copy-paste from personality to looks to style ro everything. and I MEAN HE LITERALLY IS JUST CLARK 2... thats what made kon so interesting. he had every potential to be the super successor WHILE ALSO BEING WHOLLY UNIQUE. jon was also a stone thrown in clarks timeline by accident. i say this because the first superboy was kon. dc got rid of him. which made clark have a spot for a new superboy, jon! so they make jon. dc then realizes they want to bring kon back from the archive closet. they bring him back and kon comes back to a world where he is ‘replaced’ and feels replaced. he has all this needless pain that makes no sense because he was unintentionally both replaced and brought back to a world that was written without intention to bring him back. so hes like ‘superman has a new superboy now..what does that make me.’ idk if what im saying is making sense here. imagine if dc restarted the dc universe ( as they do ). they have their intentions in mind where kon wont be written and jon will be the superboy. superman never knew kon existed since its a new universe, everyone is a clean slate now. then dc is like man we should bring back original superboy except instead of making him a clean slate we should make him remember his past from the original universe so he can be in needless pain of story line where we never planned him in. do you get me? there is nothing inherently wrong with jon i enjoy him a ton. its just more or less the superboy title and how clark ‘replaced’ kon..IF CLARK WAS ALLOWED TO RMMR KON HE WOULD OF NEVER REPLACED HIM. EVER. HE LOVED HIM?? ok dc i hate you so bad this will all be fixed on this blog.

do i hate any of the kids? no. i just wish they made sense. i wish no aging up happened. i wish kon was never forgotten. i wish chris..made more sense.

anyway in a perfect universe ( ahem, the rocky cinematic universe found here on supurman dot com ) Kon is the first superboy who is adopted by clark and never got forgotten ( by forgotten i mean literally deleted by dc and forced clark to forget about him ), chris would come along later, and clark has jon with lois who would then be their youngest son with NO AGING UP. kon would be most likely to be the next superman but everyone son is a rightful superboy.

[verdantglow]

ooooh okokokok

Grimdark griann and horror terror watcher/listeners sounds SO SICK

Also i hope you know i genuinely laughed when you said he mightve fished it up. And then i was like "Do Trolls fish? Would that be considered an act of aggression against the top two castes?" and then i decided it would be really fucking funny if Griann was fishing and then Scar swam over, and either purposefully or not, got caught on Grianns line, so our beloved candy blood man fishes up his beloved moirail. I imagine it has happened on multiple occasions.

I am so excited you said that because i personally love Cub and Convex so much, they mean so much to me. Also Iskall!! I love that man!!! And Doc would be such a fun addition to the cast (I personally imagine him as an indigo blood because.... well. sometimes he reminds me of Equius. And despite my hatred for Equius i say this in the most affectionate way if that makes sense) (I dont hate Doc hes such a silly guy)

Dont feel too much pressure about the ships! I can't speak on behalf of anyone else but i know i personally am happy to wait to see them whenever youre ready to put them out, although i AM excited to see who.

I think word of mouth spreading also works really well, although I am genuinely so interested in how exactly it got up to Scar in the first place. As in like what is the lineage from Griann to Scar. I feel like I'd need to know the other blood castes of the cast, and also how closely you're sticking to troll society canon in the way that generally high and low bloods dont mesh too often.

Also, if you have decided it. Im very interested in learning who/what everyones lusus is? If you even just have a combination of animals for a few.

I'm assuming you welcome fanart, but if we slightly change designs/make our own designs (for trolls whose designs haven't made their appearance yet), is that ok?

Oh man, I think Griann definitely has to fish now & yes, he 110% fishes Scar up on multiple occasions. Actually, fuck it, that might be how they meet. In fact… while they knew each other to the extent of being vaguely recognized usernames on the VLARP forums earlier, they actually met in person when Scar got tangled up in one of Griann’s (illegal) fishing nets. Griann had been preparing himself for a fight or flight kinda situation when he noticed a violet blood in his nets, but that proved rather unnecessary. Scar, while he gave Griann some crap about how his nets ought to be more visible, was much more interested in chatting than actually in any way making Griann pay for the slight. This became A Thing, Scar occasionally getting caught up in the nets, though it was never really clear how often this was an accident or not. When Griann was looking for people for 3rd Life, he happened to mention it to Scar, who demanded he be allowed to play. Now, at this point, Scar was really just ‘that odd violet blood who can’t avoid nets & talks a lot & thank fuck doesn’t want me culled’ to Griann. However, when Griann recognized his username from around the community, he figured he’d give Scar a chance.

(There is definitely some angst in here somewhere about how Griann didn’t see Scar for multiple perigees after 3rd Life & how despite their moirallegence during the game, Griann came to doubt whether Scar still wanted anything to do with him after the blood bath in the cactus ring…)

Interesting to think of Doc as an indigo blood! Though I am tempted to make him a low blood with no psychic powers…. Hm… I’ll have to give this more thought… (Okay adding this last minute before posting, but gold blood Doc whose lusus is a swarm of bees that help run all his tech. You know. The Hivemind.)

Okay, so lusii. Here’s who I’ve got figured out from my list:

- Scar: some sort of mercat? Like a purrbeast, but aquatic. A murrbeast if you will.

- Lizzie: Gl’bgloyb, ‘cause she’s every fuchsia’s lusus

- Jimmie: canary. It just has to a canary. Tiny fragile bird that Jimmie’s constantly desperately trying to keep alive.

- Tangoh: a warden. Don’t ask me how wardens got on Alternia, but they are definitely a thing there in this AU. Other trolls (especially low bloods who don’t know him) are terrified of Pancakes, but Tangoh mostly regards him with fond exasperation as he needs a lot of looking after.

- Wrehnn: dog/woofbeast, think German Shepard

- Gem: A deer, but if deer were terrifying predators. It looks like a deer for the most part & people tend to underestimate Gem when she shows up on a skittery prey animal. That is, until her lusus opens her mouth & they see the impossible number of teeth she has.

- Bedubs: a horse of some kind, for sure. Maybe a unicorn, who are seen as fearsome beasts on Alternia. After all, what’s more hardcore than having a single, sharp horn for goring on your forehead?

- Pearle: owl-wolf. Like a wolf that’s got giant eyes & owl wings.

- Mummbo: giant moth

- Eethos: arctic fox with moose antlers

- Skizzl: Irish Wolfhound

- Martyn: snow creeper named Colin

- Joel: honey badger named Jeremy

- Cleaoh: Snow leopard

- Bigbee: a frog the size of a pit bull

- Impuls: ground pangolin. Can’t explain this really, but both my fiancé & I came to this independently. So uh I guess Impuls(e) is pangolin coded??? (Something about burrowing, something about being cute as fuck but razor sharp, something about looking like they want to ask you to a middle school dance.)

- Scohtt: sea otter

- Griann: chicken. Might even actually be a Minecraft chicken, not sure how committed to that bit I am.

Whoops totally just got absorbed in this & figured out all the lusii lol. But this was so much fun, my fiancé & I have been researching animals & YouTubers for the last like hour or so & now my search history is all stuff like “weird big cat” & “animals that are cute & friendly but also could definitely kill you.”

I’m sticking to the separation between castes pretty loosely, mostly because (spoiler) a lot of the out of game plot revolves around rebellion against The Condesce. So it would make sense that trolls who want to overthrow the status quo would be less bound by social norms. Every group pretty much has at least a blue blood or higher in it, & at least one low blood. Not necessarily because I planned that, it’s just sorta how things shook out.

For fanart, yes, omg I welcome it so much! If you want to tweak designs a bit or make up a design, that’s cool. (Though also, if you want in AU references for anyone, I’m always happy to throw together a rough reference sheet! Might take me a day or so, depending on spoon levels, but I’d be delighted to have a reason to draw any of the many trolls I haven’t yet!)

[windypuddle]

hello i have so many thoughts about triage

ok so short version i think what probably happened is his wife was sick and he tried to use organ transplants from his children to save her and it didnt work*. this is just going to be me dumping all my thoughts and hoping they make sense

*maybe they were incompatible because his kids got more of his genes. he might also feel guilty about that.

*other option is they WERE compatible so he took organs from his kids to use as a transplant for his wife and this possibly killed the kid(s) and/or it just didnt take anyway so all three of them died. considering how the bit after the bridge shows all three of them liquifying i think they all died

^ ive seen a lot of theories about how it might be medicine but i feel like with the organ compatibility labels in throw down this might be like. labels for when youre transporting organs? and him handing it to his son is like handing down his fate (death) and he feels sooo guilty about it

“those cards of promise i discarded, they were retribution for my incessant taking” aha. because he had been taking organs from patients he was being “punished” by fate by  getting incompatibility reports. this begs the question does he believe in some karmic fate or a higher power? which makes his deal with amane interesting

OK starting from the beginning now. i think its really interesting how hes shown in much more casual clothes because in throw down it was either doctor uniform or like designer clothes? so this is almost like a third side of him

“in that case, i should’ve been the one” he feels, looking back, like he should’ve sacrificed himself to save his wife instead of their kids

the arches are so interesting i think they represent choice, his choice of who to save: his wife or his kids. shidou in casual clothes is seen walking in front of the arches and then in more formal clothes hes standing between them, forced to make a choice

the flowers wilting as he walks by them... man. i dont have anything to say its just a neat imagery on how he causes death or whatever

pomegranates... pomegranates  r so symbolic of various things like  life and death (think persephone) . i do not need to go into all that. everyone know about the fruit having the medical labels so that represents maybe medicine?

“killing, extracting, i still wont see them again” despite all his efforts it didnt work and he couldnt save his wife and ended up killing their sons. sad! well theres other worlds

i think the visuals in that bit are also interesting but moreso in a way of like. ok hes a doctor of course theyre well off but like dayum!! lobster? and pomegranates? expensive tastes. like how  this whole pursuit is costly hmm?

“i need to be tagged as red” he feels so guilty and thinks he deserves to die. im  not elaborating on this too much everyone knows this and he repeats it multiple times.

the octave? pitch change from that part to the chorus is really drastic and i feel like that denotes that the chorus is specifically him in milgram thinking about it and not just his memories

“the love that wont perish” oh OH.  oh.    hey . what if he sees the innocent vote as  a cruel love that wont die  unlike his wife who did die.  hey wouldnt that be fucked up

the older (?) kid looks like he liked shidou more because he runs to him when he gets home, whereas the other one stays by his mom’s side... man if that kid was shidous favorite and trusted him more that would hurt EXTRA if he was the one that shidou was mainly taking transplants from

hes indispensable so now he feels like hes not allowed to die because the other prisoners need him...

ok in the bridge i think its interesting because when the guilty line shows up, only one of the arches shadows is visible, but on the innocent line, both of them are visible... he feels guilty because of the choice he made but maybe if hed managed to save everyone then his actions wouldve been justified and forgivable. also more pomegranates representing death and i think the pancakes represent their happy home life

this part is fascinating because while he feels like he IS guilty and SHOULD be sentenced to death... he wants to have a purpose again (helping people) and he wants to have a reason to live and he wants to redeem himself... “to extract that fang” i know some people are interpreting this as oh hes gonna get rid of kotoko. but honestly i think he just wants to heal and mitigate the damage shes doing (the “fang”)

the chorus sounds weird when you first listen to the words but like.... hes so sickened by his own actions... he doesnt believe he should be forgiven but he does want to live deep down. “i want to be innocent, i want to live”

if anyone has any ideas on the “hurling slurs of ‘hostage game’“ or if theres a better translation... i do not really understand this line at all... maybe it represents how he feels like he has a choice between the lives of either kotoko or the other guilty prisoners... like he had to choose between his wife and their kids... because in a hostage situation you cant get everything you have to compromise

“you do know that its up to me” ahaha noo dont develop a god complex. and as he says the last “im indispensable” he puts the doctor outfit back on....