#also this is niche but the use of she pronouns in love me dead and the 'not ready for a girl like me' in honey made me think of transfem rob

[catboythanatos]

happy valentines day ♡ i am finally ready to unveil my stobotnik playlist 🪨🥚✨️💫❤️‍🔥

i did this the old fashioned way and kept it concise and have curated a listening order for it to be played in, but ur welcome to shuffle it. just be warned that the last few songs are supposed to be the sad ones so theyre gonna sneak up on u if u do that

some of my thoughts on the song choices under the cut⬇️⬇️

idk why i wanted to type this in instagram story editor but i did so hopefully its legible.

also - link to the "that one edit" in question

anyway enjoy :D

[foolishfern]

(same anon again hehehe, i’m just gonna keep asking about your gf because you like talking about her and it’s so cute !!)

questions incoming:

do you guys hang out a lot?

did you move fast into the relationship like stereotypical sapphics?

what was your most recent date like?

how was your first kiss?

do you both get along with each others families?

what things do you have in common?

(end of questions !!)

im sorry her and your friend don’t get along :( but at least you get along with her friends !! let’s hope you guys can meet up again !!

i hope im not being annoying by asking these *_*

you’re absolutely not being annoying this kind of stuff is like crack to me <3

We don’t really get a lot of time to hang out, she works a 9-5 and I work nights and weekends at a bar, but she comes to see me at work at least once a week, and we try and plan dates as often as possible. We’re actually going on a trip next week.

We did not move fast. We were the anti stereotype. She wasn’t out at the time, so I was in a awkward limbo of not wanting to make it serious until she was comfortable. We started dating in March 2023 and didn’t ‘officially’ get together until august 2023.

Our most recent proper date (aside from hanging out) was to see the Garfield movie because I love him and she loves the cinema (she cried over garfs dad) and afterwards we fed the birds in town and people watched 10/10 date

Our first kiss was Bad. We were on a night out and I was trying to find the courage to do it all night but I was too nervous. My boss (and family friend) had given us a lift home and interrupted my first attempt as he pulled up, and then we accidentally kissed right in front of him when I was going in to kiss her cheek. bad and awkward.

I have a huge family (6 siblings) and she’s a bit socially anxious, so she doesn’t know them very well. She tolerates my folks fine, but she gets along with my younger sister TOO well and it makes me afraid because they’re insane together. Her family are all so lovely, and knew we were dating before she even came out, and they’ve been nothing but supportive.

This is hard one. When we were teenagers (before I knew her) we discovered that we had a lot in common, but now we’re total opposites in almost every sense. I’m a bit sarcastic and brash, I wear a lot of retro punk stuff and she’s super hyper and cute and her whole vibe is Pink and blue. We unironically get called the Goth house & Pink house meme. But, we both really like Dead boy detectives right now, we have similar tastes in music, we both really like crafty stuff, we have a really similar sense of humour. I know there’s more but it’s very niche things. I kind of like that we’re so different, because it’s refreshing to discover new things that I wouldn’t necessarily seek out myself. She makes me step away from my comfort zone.

Also, I know you’re anon for a reason, but do you have any preferred pronouns ?? Or a throwaway name?? I don’t wanna keep calling you anon in my head.

[margridarnauds]

a@fallenidol-453 and @any59

YOU ASKED FOR IT. 

So, first off: Let’s start off with a story. I’m in my flat in Ireland, doing....Celtic Studies things. Namely, looking at Quinn’s workbook, flipping between it and Strachan’s paradigms, crying. Okay, not really crying, more ��knitting my brows and scribbling furiously, because WHY is this language like this?” 

My housemate comes in with a friend of hers. We have the usual smalltalk, you know “What do you do here?”  “Oh, Celtic Studies.”  “Celtic Studies!” *I tense as I prepare for the inevitable “So, do you have any family.........” question* “Well, we just so happen to be fluent in Irish!”

Now, this is much rarer than a lot of people would think in Ireland, because the Irish education system is.........shit when it comes to teaching Irish. I literally never had someone in Ireland tell me, “Oh, I LOVED studying Irish! It was my favorite class!” And the more someone loves the Irish language, the more that they generally hate how it’s taught. So, I’m like “Oh, cool! Here’s what it looked like a thousand years ago!” and I show off my paradigms, going to the first page, which is the section on definite articles. 

There’s this moment of silence as she looks at it, HER eyebrows knitting just like mine were a few minutes ago. “Is that....Latin? It looks like Latin.” 

Now, there are two options with this story: One is that she was lying through her teeth about knowing Irish fluently in order to impress the naive American. Problem with that is that, of course, you risk being called on it. BUT the second is what I’m going with, namely that the language has changed a lot more than people generally think it has. (There’s about the same period of time between Old Irish and Modern Irish as there is between the creation of Beowulf and the present day. Imagine trying to read Beowulf without knowing ANY Old English and you’ll see the problem straight away.) This is actually a problem, because a lot of the time, people will see foreign-born Celticists writing in Old Irish/Middle Welsh/etc. and instead of thinking of us as professional scholars who are taking advantage of a dead language in order to send what are essentially very niche memes (not necessarily even “meme” in the sense of joke), they think “Oh! The dumb foreigner’s mangling the language! So funny!” 

...and yes. This has happened to multiple people I know, including myself. It’s annoying. 

So, how much has the language changed? There are essentially five stages of the language that we are able to trace: Primitive Irish, Old Irish, Middle Irish, Early Modern Irish, and Gaeilge/Modern Irish + Proto-Celtic which is the sort of shared ancestor between all the Celtic languages and the reason why some of these words are confusingly familiar and my brain needs about twenty minutes to reboot when I’m going in-between Middle Welsh and Old Irish. 

Going back to our friend, the definite article: In the modern language, there are two forms of the definite article, as you’ll learn in your very first lesson on Duolingo: An (singular) and Na (plural). You can see this reflected all over the place, probably most obviously in the names for instutions like “An Post” (the post office) and An Garda Síochána (The Guard of the Peace, the police force). 

In Old Irish? There were multiple forms of the definite article, and they had to agree with the gender, person, and case. In the Middle Irish period, those distinctions gradually fall away, becoming even pronouned in the Early Modern Irish period, leading to the language as we have it in the modern day. 

Some other changes: 

- Loss of deponents. Old Irish used to have a system that was like the deponent verbs of Latin, where you had words that LOOKED passive, but were active in meaning. As time went on, they totally dropped those, taking different approaches to how to deal with the old deponent verbs. (Sometimes they’d use, say, the verbal noun form AS the verb, sometimes they’d apply deponent endings to verbs that hadn’t been deponents before.....it’s a mess.)

-Loss of the neuter gender. Gone entirely, save for a few fossilized examples, though with some efforts to bring it back in some form in the interest of non-binary people. In the time of Old Irish, however, there was a full neuter gender, complete with a neuter article. 

- The loss of declensions. “BUT,” you might say, if you’ve studied Modern Irish, “Modern Irish HAS declensions!” And you’d be right! It does! Five, in fact.  .......Old Irish had thirteen. 

What happens over time is that people look at all those declensions and are like “That is an ASSLOAD of declensions, let’s simplify!” And so they start treating some declensions like they’re another declension, so the number of declensions goes down over time as the others all get sorted into new categories. 

Also, the categorization is different. In the modern language, you just hear that the declensions are decided by the endings, which.....is probably one of the reasons why so many people hate learning Irish, because it seems arbitrary, when, in reality, it isn’t. In Old Irish, we actually go back even FURTHER in time, to Primitive Irish (which ended around the 7th century) and, even further back in time, Proto-Celtic, because that is where the declensions actually come from. Irish used to look quite like Gaulish or Latin, with similar endings - “Fer” was “viros”, which became “viras”, “ingen” was “enigenā”, which became “inigena”, “rígain” was “rígainí” in the Proto-Celtic, “athair” was “ɸatīr” in the PC, “túath” was “toutā”, “Día” was “Dewos”........etc.

That’s why “fer” and “Día” are both o-stems, despite looking almost nothing alike, it’s why they behave the same way - They shared the same endings back in the day. That’s why we call them o-stems in the first place, it isn’t because of what’s IN them, it’s what used to be in them. 

“Ingen” is an a-stem for the same reason. 

“Rígain” is an i-stem. 

“Athair” is a r-stem. 

There’s METHOD to the madness, I promise. 

- There’s a loss of distinction of sounds - Old Irish was very strict on “This is spelled with an A and THIS is spelled with an O and those are TWO DIFFERENT SOUNDS.” Middle Irish was like “Eh? Let’s make it a general “schwa” sound.” So the spellings vary a lot starting in that period, Early Modern Irish only adds to the confusion (a favorite Celticist Hobby is pointing out the sometimes flat-out *weird* Early Modern Irish spellings of Old Irish names because *oh, boy*), and by the time you get to the modern language, a lot of things are spelled quite differently from what you’d think. Some consonants also soften in their sounds - the preposition “Co”, for example, becomes “Go”, “ocus” becomes “agus”, etc. 

- Univerbation. Essentially, Old Irish had a LOT of compound verbs like do-beir, do-gni, at-tá, ad-cí, ro-cluineathar etc. And, in the modern language, “do-beir” becomes “tabhair”, “do´gní” becomes -“á dhéanamh”, etc. Essentially, they took what’s known as the protonic form of the verb, which is the version we would use following a conjunct particle like “ní”, which expresses a negative form of an action, and they made that the regular form of the verb. They were like “Nope, don’t want to handle it, not today, Satan.” And sometimes, those forms would evolve as well, so I could be looking at a verb in Early Modern Irish, go “that looks vaguely familiar” and then realize that it’s a VERY mutated form of an Old Irish word. 

- The ~copula~. So, the copula is....an alternative to the substantive verb used in certain circumstances, indicating a state of being. Which seems really....grammar-y, but all that really means is that it translates out to “is, am, are” in English. If you ever read any medieval Irish texts, you’ll notice a lot of syntax that’s like “Cold is the wind from Norway”, “It is not a good thing you have done”, etc. The reason is because, in the actual Irish, all this would have begun with a form of the copula. It was a VERY popular way of starting off a sentence, instead of the usual Verb-Subject-Object form. In the Old Irish period, the copula was inflected, meaning that, like the definite article, it changed depending on certain factors, namely person, number, and tense. “Am” would be “I am” (”Am rí” - “I am a king”) “At” would be you (sing.) are (“At gataige” - “You are a thief), “Is” would be “he/she/it is” (”Is lóech” - “He/She/It is a warrior”), “ammi” would be “we are” (”Ammi druíd” - “We are druids/magicians”).....etc. Now, once again, starting in the Middle Irish period, you have people going “............that is an ass-load of work, let’s just use the third singular and call it a day.” This is why, in Duolingo, you have to say “Is cailín mé” a thousand times. In the Old Irish period, you would just say “Am ingen”, but, with that loss of distinction of the copula, pronouns become increasingly important to the Irish language. Some of this was already present in Old Irish, with the 3rd sing. copula being used for the sake of emphasis, “It is I who takes Bres to the trash fire, where he belongs”, sometimes with an emphasizing pronoun for added drama, but it eventually gets to the point where the others are consumed entirely. 

- Independent pronouns also come into their own, being uniformly used after the copula, with the infixed pronouns that had been uniform going away. So, for example, if I wanted to say “I kill him” in Modern Irish, I would say “Maráim é” - if I wanted to say it in Old Irish, I would say “Nan-Marbu”, with the no being what’s known as a meaningless conjunct particle (it’s there to say “LOOK! AN INFIXED PARTICLE!”).

- A lot of the verb forms, like the nouns, get smushed together - There were at least three different forms of the preterite (in Modern Irish, known as the “Simple Past”) in Old Irish, in Middle Irish, the S-preterite gradually grows to dominate, to the point where now, there is only the simple past, with endings varying depending on if you’re talking first or second conjugation verbs. Likewise, the future tense goes from having five different categories of future tenses to being divided into first or second conjugation verbs in the present day. 

Overall, there’s more, there’s a lot more, but I think that you can get the gist. When I see primitive Irish, I’m like “Okay, it’s Old Irish - The Latin edition”. It looks WEIRD, but it looks OLD and, for the most part, fairly recognizable. We don’t see it that often, outside of an ogham stone, that’s why we make such a big deal when we do. Old Irish, I’m like “FRIEND....who sometimes scares me”, Middle Irish, I’m like “Okay, this is a bit weird, but I can understand most of it, especially if I’m reading an edition where the editor explains things”, Early Modern Irish looks, to me, like everything’s been tossed into a blender. I KNOW that some of the words look familiar, but it’s HARD and it kind of hurts my brain to stare at it for too long. Modern Irish actually looks better, because it’s streamlined, the spellings are consistent, etc., but it still looks......almost eerie, actually. It also shows in how these things are taught - If you’re in an Old Irish program, you’re taught Old Irish and Middle Irish; if you’re in a Modern Irish program, you’re taught Early Modern Irish and Gaeilge (or you’re expected to know Gaeilge off the bat.) And what should probably be mentioned is that, actually, there was likely only ever a brief period where “Old Irish” was actually spoken or written - Kim McCone pointed out in an article that, actually, in some of our oldest, most sanctified sources for Old Irish, the Wurtzburg Gospels, we’re already seeing traces of Middle Irishicisms. It’s likely that, among the general populace, they were already simplifying their speech, but that the scribes who wrote this stuff down, that literary elite, took a conservative approach to the language, essentially a medieval Irish Academie Francaise, and they tried to preserve the “pure” form, only to lose the battle as time went on and even they started using these forms of the language. It’s also why we put SUCH a massive emphasis on dating....(besides the fact that it’s the closest thing we can come to dating anything, *badum tss*): Scribes, along with copying old texts, would actually sometimes put older forms of the words in newer texts in the hopes of it looking older or more authoritative. There are some bardic poems in the 16th century that are actually EERILY good. Likewise, you have some scribes looking at an older text and being like “Oh, that doesn’t look how it should! I should fix it!”, only to drop a Middle Irishicism on an Old Irish verb. And sometimes a scribe will try to correct the correction and makes it even worse. We have to analyze the whole text, weighing all of it together to see when a text might have actually been composed. 

We talk a lot about how Irish has survived over the years in spite of everything, and that’s IMPORTANT, but I feel like it’s also important to say that it’s changed, it’s reinvented itself. It isn’t static and it’s never really BEEN static, and I think, my ongoing confusion aside, that that’s really important. I can’t translate an 18th century Irish text, at least not EASILY (even though I want to do my PhD on an Early Modern text so RIP me), but someone who got their PhD in 19th century Gaelic Literature also can’t translate Old Irish (and yes.....it has happened where people act like studying Irish literature = being able to “explain” Old Irish materials to me. Because, again, Dumb Foreigners Can’t Know What We’re Talking About) We’ve got to work together to get the fullest possible picture. The language had a past, it has a future. 

[locke-writes]

omg Noah!!! your 1.8k celebration!! I think I'm just getting in in the nick of time hahaha. I'm so excited to read what you come up for these!!

Fandom: MCU

Pronouns: She/her

Personality Description: I'm 100% a Leo, INTJ, and rated as chaotic neutral once on the big chart my friends made of the group this one time? I know we're mutuals but also I love writing up a funky fresh bio/description so!!!

Some of my niche interests include geography, languages, exoplanets, weird weather phenomena (that was my FAV when I was a kid, I used to want to be a storm chaser), and obvi old radio culture. I work as a hacking consultant/pentester for a cyber firm and on the weekends I love exploring my city and driving up to visit my friends on their farm (when work isn't having me on the go for crazy hours -_-) My roommate tells me I'm "addicted to chaos" which is pretty accurate lmao. Usually on the go and constantly sleep deprived afdsdhfkjfs

Shipped with a female character please!

The additional option you would like for your fandom life (see below): Mentor!

Fandom Life Requests Are Closed

Sibling: Carol Danvers

Best Friend: Scott Lang

Significant Other: Yelena Belova

Mentor: Hope Van Dyne

Carol’s the supportive older sister who attempts to take an interest in whatever you’re invested in at the moment although she literally has no clue what you might be saying. There has been more than one occasion where she sets alien tech on the table where you’re working before asking if you’d like to hack it. She knows it can’t be easy with her off in space all the time even if she tries calling and texting you constantly. There are plans for interplanetary road trips all the time though and it’s quite strange to see your sister interacting with alien species while you try and figure out language mechanics by listening and purchasing children’s books. Turns out certain fairy tales are known and translated throughout the entire universe.

Scott is the mayor of Chaos Town, let’s be honest. It follows him wherever he goes which makes him a pretty great friend when you have no idea what to do. Whenever you’re with Scott the two of you always end up having a great time whether it’s running around cities looking for underrated sites or him joining you on the farm (which he will run around pointing at everything asking if he can have it). Scott is an adult who acts like a child most of the time so do be prepared to reign him in if you have to but he does a good job of self-regulating. Although. He too is sleep deprived and that might not be a good combo since it has often led to movie marathons at two in the morning.

Yelena is introduced to you through Nat and her immediate attempt at flirting is her showing you the vest. There are lots of pockets which hold lots of things and hey if this leads to her teaching you how to through knives well, that’s a first date right there. As soon as she finds out you enjoy languages she’s dead-set on teaching you Russian. Yes it does mean that she’ll get to speak with you in her native language and that’s cool but that also means she gets to flirt with you even when there’s people around because no one knows what she’s saying. Do expect her to brag about you to absolutely everyone that she knows, she loves you and she wants that to be common knowledge.

Hope becoming your mentor was entirely Scott’s fault and while she hates to admit that, she is grateful to be able to take you under her wing (not literally although sometimes yes literally). It’s an off-handed comment about cyber security that leads Hope bringing you onboard to Pym Tech finding you a valuable asset. She trusts you with her suit to make upgrades as you see fit and encourages you to follow your passions. Always there to give advice she makes sure that you know you can come to her with anything. She’s also going to worry about you a lot and scold you for not having a decent sleep schedule (which Hank thwarts because he reminds her that she never slept and was constantly in the lab when she was a teenager).

[mha-adore]

hey! ty sm for doing the matchup exchange with me, i look forward to writing your match! i’m rita and i go by she/her pronouns. i have a preference for men & i’m 16. my quirk would be similar to shinso & inumaki from jjk,, i can control ppl and animals just by saying a command,,, an indicator for when i’m using my quirk would be my eyes changing color & a side effect to using my quirk would be getting light headed.

i’m a libra sun, aquarius moon, & leo rising. a slytherin & intj-t. i’m v polite and reserved when you first meet me. i’m pretty introverted and i have anxiety. it takes me while to open up since it takes me a while to trust ppl. i do tend to get annoyed and angry by others easily,, i’m a bit of a hot head. i’m pretty chill and like joking around once i open up,, i can also be kinda dumb. i’m a bit of a loner and i don’t have many friends. i’m actually a bit of an emotional person but only when it comes to shows, movies, books, etc,, i tend to keep my emotions bottled up. i’m self conscious and self critical. i care a lot about having perfect grades and getting into a good university but i’m so lazy (lots of breaks & procrastination) at the same time,, i end up getting everything done on time though. i’m impatient when it comes to my own things so i like doing things my way bc i feel more comfortable that way. i also like keeping things neat. i’ve also been told i have a resting sad face & that i’m intimidating. i wear a lot of black and i’d describe my style as dark academia mixed with 70s-90s fashion. when i’m at home i just wear comfortable clothing like pajama pants and a t-shirt.

my likes/hobbies/interests are baking, playing the sims, writing, and playing board games with ppl i’m close to. i also like relaxing in bed and spending time with people i’m close to and having fun. i’m interested in psychology, true crime, & history. i don’t like arrogant & closed minded people. i look for a partner who is loyal, kind, & open-minded. my love languages are gifts and quality time (both ways).

i hope this isn’t too much,, ty again! <3

Hey friend, it's my pleasure! Thanks sm for offering 💖

Can I just say super quick that your quirk is really cool? You could command an army of bears, raccoons or fire ants. I would be terrified. Also I'm an Aquarius moon and INTJ too, air moons gotta stay together. I totally got a Libra vibe off you when you first messaged me and you're super sweet 🎀 also I totally get you on the anxiety part, I have anxiety too. I know how terrifying it can be to reach out to new people so please know I'm proud of you for taking the chance to reach out to me 😊 and it's never too much; the more detail the better!

I match you with Shoto!

Say hi to the walking AC and heater unit. A couple reasons I picked him is because you mentioned having anxiety and being hot headed. With his father being, well, himself and his mother being the anxious person she is, Shoto understands both sides of the coin very well and knows how to deal with both parts. He can balance being calm and stern at the same time and he has the patience of a saint. He would give you the time and space you need to grow comfortable around new people and surroundings, as well he would be able to keep you grounded when your temper gets the best of you. He mellows you out. My personal headcanon is that he's a Capricorn sun, Scorpio moon, Virgo rising, Ravenclaw and INFP.

He returns your jokes with dry humor. He can keep a dead serious face while making the stupidest jokes too. He could look you dead in the eye, face straight, and rip a monster fart and not giggle just to see your reaction. Honestly the image of him holding eye contact while aggressively farting is funny in my head. I know I have the humor of a 9 year old.

He isn't bothered by you not having many friends. He's a private person and doesn't want a lot of people up in his business. He prefers few close friends over many distant friends. He knows you aren't stupid and pays no attention to anything you say that may sound dumb. He's heard so much dumb shit he learned to filter it from his brain.

He understands that you're closed off on your emotions. He really can't blame you, he's quite the same. If you get a little teary eyed over a book or movie he'll let you talk it out and cry if you'd like, but he won't push you to be uncomfortably open to him. He values your happiness over his own and doesn't mind you keeping your feelings to yourself. He respects your privacy. Regardless of what you may feel conscious or critical of about yourself he's there to remind you that you're perfect. You're healthy, you're strong and you're doing the best you can. No one could ask any more from you. He's lived a majority of his life feeling outcasted and ignored because of his scar and wouldn't wish the same on anyone, so if there's any part of you that you feel bad about he's always reminding you that you have no imperfections, everything about you makes you one of a kind. You're irreplicable.

He isn't worried about you procrastinating on studying or homework. As long as you get it done and do well enough he isn't concerned. If you ever have difficulty with a subject he's happy to help you study and learn. If you want he can ask Momo to join for a study party if you want the extra help or company. He just wants to see you succeed and get into the college of your cotton candy dreams. Oh and don't worry about your tuition, he has it covered. Don't even mention it to him it'll already be paid off, including books and living arrangements. He only wants you to pay him back by doing your best in school and showing him you can handle the hard work.

He always has a suggestion on ways you can do things but he knows you prefer to do them by yourself, so he'll neber bombard you with his ideas. If you ask for his input he has plenty to give but otherwise he gives you the room to make your own moves. He's a neat freak himself and is always happy to help you keep your room clean and well put together. He has good room decor ideas too if you want to spruce up your room.

He really doesn't see you as intimidating. He sees a confident, independent and strong young woman who can hold her own. He occasionally wonders if you're really sad or if that's just your expression and he'll occasionally ask. He's only making sure you're okay. If you're sad he's on it with a cute or funny movie, some snacks, a shoulder to cry on and a whole night's worth of stuff to talk about.

He likes your sense of fashion, he enjoys darker and warmer colors. He lives for the 80s aesthetic and loves to see you mix the two so effortlessly. He can, wants to and will give you his t shirts to wear at home. He'll also loan you hoodies and sweaters. He won't outright buy you a hoodie, he'll buy one for himself and let you get away with stealing it from him.

He's so soft for home made cookies and would love for you to make him some. Home made dinners are also great. He would love to help you bake and would enjoy baking dates. He'll also watch shows like Hell's Kitchen with you. He isn't exactly a huge gamer but he likes simulation games and RPGs like Sims, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, Harvest Moon etc. He'll binge these games with you all day and night. Your Sims have to get married to each other it's the law. He enjoys reading what you write - what you don't mind sharing of course. He won't go peeking in your personal writing, he knows it isn't his place. Concerning what you do share he'll read it with great interest and share his thoughts and any ideas he has. He would really enjoy writing something with you, like a short story or a comic. He loves how you convey your writing and would be honored to take part in it. His favorite board game is Candy Land, a close second being Monopoly, followed by Scrabble. He pulls out a big ass dictionary during Scrabble just to prove to people that he knows his vocabulary. He loves you dearly but all bets are off during Monopoly, it's a dog eat dog world and he isn't bailing you out of jail. He will, however, offer you real money in turn for properties in the game. No that isn't cheating the rules say nothing about it. He has no problem with a lazy day in bed though and wouldn't mind just dozing or watching shows together. Any time spent with you is time spent well. You two could watch paint dry together and he would have a blast. He'll buy the paint.

With his personal involvment in hero work he has lots of info on true crime cases and can share stories and books with you. He has everything from small robberies to Ted Bundy and beyond. If you have a question about a true crime case he has an answer. As for psychology I imagine he would study it himself, perhaps as a secondary career or freelance hobby. He'll examine characters from books and movies with you and run his own behavioral analysis unit from his bedroom. The FBI doesn't hold a candle to him. He can, will and already has tracked down your enemies and he has their addresses. With his father being the new number one hero he essentially has the force of the law in his hands and if need be, he will use it. He won't do anything unjust unless your safety is in jeopardy but he won't hesitate to bring someone down. As for history he has plenty of books ranging from founding of countries to wars, to major technological advancements to the invention of toilet paper. He knows some very niche history facts. If you need to impress a teacher with knowledge on history he has you covered. He'll make the teacher quit their job in shame.

Shoto is absolutely loyal to the end, open minded and kind to a fault. He understands how it's like to be ignored, misunderstood and bullied and he won't treat anyone else that way. Regardless of his opinion on someone he still gives them respect and kindness. He doesn't care how rude or petty someone acts, they're still a human and deserve to be treated as such.

He goes out of his way to buy you special gifts, he values personal meaning over monetary value. Between a basic cheap necklace and an expensive bracelet of your favorite gemstone and color, you bet he's going for the bracelet. The cost isn't important to him, he just wants to see your face light up when you open the gift. As for gifts from you he doesn't care about how much you spent, he just wants something from the heart. You could give him an origami swan that cost you nothing to make and he would treasure it like a rare antique. As for quality time, he always enjoys a good movie, board game, cuddle session or just a nap. Like I mentioned before, any time spent together is time spent well.

I hope you enjoyed this friend!! 🥀 I'll be sending my part your way soon, thanks again for the offer! I had a lot of fun with this one 😘

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, KIERSTEN! You’ve been accepted for the role of CLEOPATRA with an approved FC change to Anais Mali. Admin Rogue: More than anything, Calina is one of the characters I've been most excited to see brought back to us, and I couldn't be more thrilled that you've captured her so well! Calina's such a balance between warmth and cunning, between drive and connection, and you really drove home her humanity. Her intelligence and fortitude clash so well with her loneliness in this way that really sang to my heart throughout your application, and the para sample blew me away. I love her with every ounce of my being, and I know just from reading this that you'll go beyond the distance and reach new heights with our lovely new Queen. We cannot wait to see what you have in store! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Kiersten

Age | 21

Preferred Pronouns | she/her/hers

Activity Level |  I’ve never written a day before in my life…haha…unless…? (see here: https://catherinedaly.tumblr.com/ and https://isabellagagliano.tumblr.com/ :* ) Also, school is about to let out so I’m going to have so much free time that y’all will wish I had something else to do, or somewhere else to be.

Timezone |  EST

In Character

Character | Calina Sokolova – Cleopatra → With a face claim change to Anais Mali, please? uwu

CALINA

origin: Greek

meaning: beautiful, lovely; the moon

SOKOLOVA

origin: Russian

meaning: falcon; hawk

CLEOPATRA

origin: Greek

Meaning: glory of the father

What drew you to this character? | Well, it’s no secret that I’ve been dying to complete The Trifecta ™but I think I even surprised myself when I turned my attention to Calina. It’s been so long since the mesmerizing Cleopatra took the stage and, with each passing day, I find that I miss her more and more. She’s startlingly different from both my Catherine and Isabella. Both Isa and Cat are led by their heart, but Calina is decidedly not; she’s terribly bright and practical—a diamond in the rough that’s not yet been fully excavated… But, could Verona handle the savant in her unfettered brilliance and whip-quick wit? Is the city prepared to kneel out of their own volition, rather than being so savagely forced?  This girl turned woman turned phoenix has been scorned one time too many and she deserves to assert herself as an entity far greater than just being Faron’s loyal shadow. I’m eager to give her what’s due, and more!

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | Where do you see this character developing, and what kind of actions would you have them take to get there? 3 future plot ideas would be preferable.

I WILL NOT BE TRIUMPHED OVER: He picked her to be a general, and a general she will be; the King may have fallen, but the Queen is more than capable of continuing the legacy. Calina, of all people, knows that the Vasiliev man would roll over in his grave to know if she even considered so-easily conceding to the Veronesi and their brutally unforgiving ways. I would love to get the chance to explore the Sokolova woman PICKING UP WHERE FARON LEFT OFF. His roots in Russia run deep and wide, still viable even though he no longer lives. I like to think that Calina inherited his network, considering she was his right hand. However, such power holds great responsibility—and danger. The late Vasiliev’s connections were no secret to Damiano and his group, which places her in a precarious position: to work at intertwining her newly inherited network with the Montagues or keeping it tucked against her chest. After all, they took from her, so why would she give anything?

TURN YOUR WOUNDS INTO WISDOM: Her heart is a fickle thing that’s not yet stopped its beating–even with all that she’s lost–and now she’s looking for something that cannot be so easily taken from her. Alexander Rallis seems to have cemented himself firmly within Montague ranks and while this is what initially drew Calina to him, it’s not what makes her stay; she’s a wraith looking for a soul to tie herself to, and he’s her best bet. But, the Sokolova woman isn’t taking her heart into account when she decides to interact with him more. What started as a tactical attempt to grow closer to Alexander for the sake of learning what it takes to be the Montague consigliere has become somewhat muddled, at least on her end.

Calina knows desire like the back of her hand; she knows lust intimately, but is damningly inexperienced with feelings and how quickly they can strike. What she feels towards Alexander is an uncomfortable mix of a girlish crush and well-tamed, heady desire (though she’ll vehemently deny any feelings of affection for the man of war). I’d love to EXPLORE THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA (bonus points if he somehow finds out her words were ingenuine, at first) and how far she’s willing to go in terms of her own ascension within Montague ranks. But for now, for Alex, she’ll string her words together in the most beautiful of sentences; she’ll even drench them in his decadent gold, if it will coax the great Antony from his armor long enough so that she may come to understand what lies underneath; she’s vying for his mind, but not prepared for what else (his heart, perhaps?) might come.

I AM NO BIRD AND NO NET ENSNARES ME: Mona Chen, the Keeper of Sparrows, is her target; The Dark Lady is a fine price to tuck in one’s pocket. Damiano made his desires clear when he assigned the Sokolova woman to lure Mona from her Capulet-leaning ways into ways that better align with Montague ideologies, and Calina refuses to fail. I’m excited about CALINA RELYING ON HER PAST TO ASSIST HER while she tries to court Mona for the sake of the Montagues. She’s done well enough to stifle her memories of her time within halls of debauchery, but they’ll soon become her greatest asset–a sharp contrast to her belief that they were her Achilles’ Heel. How far is Calina willing to go to pull The Dark Lady to the Montagues’ side? She’s no stranger to using her body to get what she wants and she sees the way Mona watches her–closely, as though she’s waiting for the woman from Russia to slip up and return to her roots. If Mona thinks she’ll be able to make a Sparrow out of Calina, so be it; what the owner of The Dark Lady doesn’t know–that Calina refuses to return to that lifestyle–won’t hurt her. If white lies and gilded interest are what it takes to bridge the gap between Damiano and Mona, so be it.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Only if it’ll cause the maximum amount of pain possible.

In Depth

In-Character:

PARA SAMPLE–

They don’t give him a funeral. They barely acknowledge the vacancy he’s left behind, the lives upended by his untimely departure–both here, and in Russia. Calina’s not surprised by this, not  at all; hosting a funeral for a man murdered by someone supposedly on the same side as he was would be… Tricky, to say the least. And in not giving Faron Vasiliev the proper burial he deserved, the unspoken message is clear: all that glitters is not always golden.

In the days after Faron’s demise, Calina is reminded of a cruel lesson she was remiss to keep in the forefront of her mind: everyone–no matter how highly they’re thought of, no matter what they bring to the table–can be replaced. Measure for Measure is gifted to Matthias before Vasiliev’s body coldens; her loyalty, too, is transferred to Damiano, the hefty price Faron paid to free her from her contract in Russia symbolically falling on the shoulders of the Montague king. She knows better than to bite at the hand that feeds her, so she remains stoic in the presence of those of whom haven’t earned her trust–an amount that, when totaled, can be counted on one hand and one hand alone.

Calina sighs into the darkness of her room, into the lush bedding that surrounds her body. She collects her scrambled thoughts as neatly as she can; she gathers those too-raw and fragmented memories that can’t have her attention–not now, maybe not ever–and and shoves them to the back of her mind, bringing others to the forefront so that she may concoct a plan to ensure her safety here in Verona–here, permanently, as she’ll be damned before she ever calls Russia ‘home’ again.

First and foremost, the Sokolova woman is acutely aware of the target on her back, no matter how curious Damiano may be about her silver tongue and whip-quick mind. The interest of the Montague can quickly wane; the lavish lifestyle she’s come to familiarize herself with can be snatched away without so much as a passing glance. Her attachment isn’t to the items, but rather to the intoxicating feeling of security–to knowing she’ll have a home, to knowing she’ll not have to worry about where her next meal will come from–and she’s not willing to lose it without giving it her all.

Secondly, she needs allies. In a game of chess, the Queen is the most valuable piece on the board and Calina knows, though no one can see, that there’s a crown atop those wily curls of hers and she won’t let it fall. She’ll gather people like pawns, find a niche for herself in Damiano’s kingdom and create a buffer. The people sing of Antony’s accolades, of Gertrude’s steadfastness in the middle of disasters and more, but it’s time they’ve learned a new song: a song of Cleopatra, the woman who didn’t cut others at the knee, but rather coaxed them to kneeling out of their own volition.

Last, she knows that she must now work twice as hard to take what’s hers; she’s come to terms with taking three steps forward followed by two steps back. The newly-inherited title of emissary suits her far better than soldier, but not nearly as well as advisor. To say that she’s not become comfortable with the power Faron was wise enough to imbue her with would be a lie; the Sokolova woman relished the way he saw her as an equal, and she wants that same attention still, even though he’s gone. But, good things take time and she’s got plenty of it.

The King is dead; may God save the Queen.

She’ll not give them a chance to not give her a funeral, too.

INTERVIEW–

What does your typical day look like?

“I wake as early as my body will allow,” the Sokolova woman says, “which is earlier than some, but not others. I’ve broken my habit of favoring the night—thankfully.” It’s a lie, of course; her affinity for night and its darkness have been seared into the very marrows of her bones, what with her past as Madame’s precious драгоценный камень bleeding over to her present and eagerly waiting to devour her future. “Bast is a spoiled little thing; as soon as I wake up, she’s kneading at my side or sitting on my chest until I get up and feed her. In a way, she’s akin to an alarm clock.” A fond smile graces her visage at the thought of her Russian Blue–a gift from the Zaitsevs, longtime clients of hers and Faron’s that took note of the way she tended to their feline and his desire for her lithe fingers to stroke his silky silver fur while maintaining her focus and wit on the matters at hand. “I feed her, and then I have a cup of збитень while perusing Il Giornale. On my way to work, I might pick up a pastry from one of the bakeries I pass.“

Moments of peace before she slips into her role as Montague emissary and client charmer. But, of course, this little journalist need not know of her underground dealings.

Rather, Calina gives him what he wants–something palatable; something honest; something that piques his interest enough to get him to write it down, but not enough to ask more. “Once I leave my darling for the day, I typically don’t make it back until the evening. I spend my time working remotely in The Capital Library as often as I can. Offices are too stuffy for my liking. I’d rather be surrounded by thousands of books filled with rich history while crafting communication strategies for my clients.”

Where is your favorite place in Verona?

The answer that first comes to mind is bittersweet and far too personal: her favorite place in Verona is—was—Faron’s home—untouched and uninhabited since his demise. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth, much like the сельдь с луком that her late mother was so fond of. The memories are nothing but quick flashes, though she can feel the goosebumps rising on her skin; she can feel Faron’s phantom touch along the small of her back, and can hear Alyona’s honey-drenched laugh as she playfully turned the hose from her azaleas to her gleeful daughter. But, Calina knows herself and she knows herself well; she’s far too proud to falter, especially in the face of a nosy reporter. So, she does what she does best: she chains the memories and thoughts before they have a chance to run wild; she shackles them together—two pieces of her irreparably-broken heart—and shoves them into a dark corner of her mind that’ll be ignored until something else taunts the perpetually-grieving beast that resides in her chest.

The journalist prompts again, curiosity evident in the slight furrow of his brows and in the way he doesn’t allow her to mull over her answer, to pull palatable words from her arsenal of languages. The Sokolova woman notes his softly spoken impatience, adding it to her list of observations—that he’s recently had coffee, the familiar scent of the drink lingering between them; that he’s not as seasoned as other journalists she’s come across, as he’s more concerned with what she says rather than what she doesn’t or won’t say; and that he’s not as subtle as he’d like to think, with his blue eyes that graze her frame in more instances than just one.

“Verona is such a beautiful city,” Calina muses at last, warmth coloring her words as though she’s speaking of a dear friend. “But, caro mio, if you must make me choose—“ a gusty, nearly dramatic sigh billows from her lacquered lips “—Lamberti Tower. There’s nothing quite like reaching the top and looking at the breathtaking scenery below.” A well-manicured finger twists at her brown curls. “Should you find yourself there, I highly recommend The Hathaway.” It’s sinful–how delicious and dangerous the drink is. “But, be careful—it’s practically impossible to just have one.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

Were she a less professional woman, she’d have laughed in his face. She’d have parroted his question back at him, incredulity coloring her words and displeasure marring her now-placid expression. Calina Sokolova, making mistakes? No, she is far too meticulous, far too critical; she scours over every word, every shift in body language or facial expression, cataloguing it all in her mind so that she may act appropriately. Years spent morphing herself into whatever her clients wanted—a simpering coquette, a lustful breath against the shell of an ear, a body meant to be used and discarded soon after—have served her well.

Women like Calina don’t make mistakes. Calina doesn’t make mistakes. She cannot afford to do so.

“Oh, дорогая,” the woman says at last, a hint of mischief glinting in her dark hues as she leans back in her plush chair, “would you believe me if I said I’ve not yet made one?”  

What has been the most difficult task asked of you? (tw: allusion to terminal illness)

The Sokolova woman’s most difficult request was something that wasn’t asked at all. It wasn’t something she could stop or something she could pass to somebody else. No, the most difficult task for the princess of the dark alley was commanded. Not even she, freshly-graduated from Novobisrov State University and armed with the knowledge of old and new, could disobey the order… All she could do was helplessly watch.

The decline was cruelly slow, seemingly stretching time just far enough for her to take a second to hope. It’s both a blessing and a curse, that fickle thing called time. It gives as easily as it takes, tricking you into thinking there’s a chance when it’s only prolonging the inevitable. Может быть, мы уедем из России - найди другого доктора в другом месте, a frustrated Calina suggested long ago, her pride rearing its ugly head deep in her chest. Her mother couldn’t die. She forbade it…

…And in the end, it didn’t matter.

Her protests fell upon deaf ears, as did her pleas. Her prayers remained so damningly unanswered that she couldn’t help but blame herself for halfhearted attempts, so she only prayed more—desperately, angrily, fearfully. Calina bruised her knees with how often she fell to them in the name of the Redeemer–to a God her mother held so much faith in, to a God she once believed existed. When left motherless, possessionless, and poor, she only further dug her heels in, deciding that she’d never be made a fool in the face of time again. She sells her body, the notion of kneeling for less-than-holy reasons no longer distasteful, for at least it—unlike the time she wasted praying—yielded results. It paid for her rent, her food, her existence.

“My mother once told me it’s ill-advised to say you’ve already experienced the worst of things,” she murmurs.  “She said it tempted Fate and angered it so that it didn’t rest until it outdid what you thought was the most terrible of all.” Alyona Sokolova never said it, the light in her eyes snuffed out before she ever got the chance. Calina likes to believe she would have, had the illness not first taken her mind. Clearing her throat and finding her voice once more, the emissary tacks on,  “And mother knows best, да?”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

A soft and disapproving hmmph comes first, and it is punctuated by an unimpressed response: “It’s brutish–the whole idea of it.” Wars fought for the sole purpose of destruction did nothing for either side; a pity, truly, but she expects nothing less from the crowned men that perpetuate its continuance. Both Cosimo and Damiano are bullheaded, though she does give them some credit; they’ve both picked women to be their Underbosses—women who know that cold calculation will always prevail over hot tempers and wounded prides.

Calina continues, “Ask any Veronesi why the two families feud and you’ll hear dozens of stories, each a bit different from its predecessor.” It’s one of the things she loves and detests about language—how malleable words are, how easily they diffuse as they’re passed from person to person. Calina tucks a loose curl behind her ear, golden ring glinting against the afternoon sun that shines through opened curtains. She pauses thoughtfully as though she’s considering an idea she’s not yet had, head canting just slightly before she venturing, “They’re going to run themselves and Verona ragged.” Fights can only last for so long. There’s nothing sustainable about war, nothing sustainable in pulling the downtrodden into the battles that they’ll never live to reap the benefits from.

Here, bodies are expendable; minds are not. Calina’s made sure to prove herself worthy of being grouped into the latter time and time again; her recent promotion within Montague ranks is only one of dozens of accolades she’s destined to earn. Spoken with the finality of a woman who has other matters to tend to, she closes with, “Adesso, corrispondente… Should you desire a more in-depth answer, ask them why they’re fighting. Ask them what the goal is.”

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here!

EXTRAS:

MBTI: INTJ - The Architect + | independent, jane-of-all-trades, driven -  | judgemental, blunt, secretive

ZODIAC: Virgo - 22 September + | logical, responsible, orderly -  | critical, obsessive, perfectionist

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric + | ambitious, confident, practical -  | uptight, impatient, uncomfortable around emotion

RICE PURITY TEST SCORE: 48

LOVE LANGUAGE(S): acts of service + physical touch

HEADCANONS:

In Novoborisk, Calina studied both history and linguistics (with a concentration in translation and translational studies). Before the tragedy of losing her mother, she planned on working as a professor while also researching ancient civilizations.

Alyona Sokolova stoked the burning desire to know in her precious daughter from her very first breath. Because of this, Calina is voraciously inquisitive; years of sharpening her mind and her tongue have created a well-spoken woman with undeniable charm.

Calina knows five languages, including her native language of Russian—English, French, Macedonian, and (most recently) Italian. She wants to learn more, should she ever get the opportunity.

She has a Russian Blue cat named Bast–a nod to Ancient Egypt and her dream to study civilizations of the past.

On her right hand, she wears a golden signet ring that she never takes off. It belonged to Faron—a ring he’d outgrown years ago but still kept as a reminder of his past. Now, it now belongs to her—a ring that fits perfectly on her right ring finger as a reminder of their pasts.

MOCK BLOG:

https://cleosokolova.tumblr.com/

PINTEREST BOARD:

https://www.pinterest.com/diaphcnous/calina-sokolova-the-savant/

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Bret you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Peter Pettigrew!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

We were so happy to see your application in our inbox! Your application shone with your amazing writing and the thought that you’ve put into Peter. It’s been a joy to see him before -- and it’s going to be amazing seeing how you develop him further Your para sample was a joy to read -- especially how you delved into Peter’s mindset and how he views the world so differently from the rest of the Marauders -- and even starting with your reason for choosing him as a second character, it was clear that you had a handle on how tragic his story can be and how isolated Peter feels. 

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Bret, Twenty Five, EST. She/Her.

ACTIVITY

7/10. I plan on dividing my threads between days, so a few on each character depending on what amount of muse I have. I think I could do a lot between the two characters because of all of the time I’ve accumulated this summer. And even if my girlfriend has my computer for work, I’ve rebooted hers so I’ll just use this ole piece of dust.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

Originally it was through a member, but I’ve been here for ages!

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Arabella Figg. Before this roleplay I was obsessed with her homely nature, and how willing she was to protect Harry. Plus, her love for kneazles definitely is equal to mine with kittens. But now that I play her, and I’ve fleshed her out, I’m realizing how much she truly is like me. Of course that comes with playing her, but it doesn’t matter. I identify with her so, so much.  

ANYTHING ELSE?

Nope!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Peter Pettigrew

FACE CLAIM

Dane DeHaan

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

Peter Pettigrew is an insanely under appreciated character that deserves to be explored.

Aside from his involvement with the Marauders, his defection from the Order during the first war, and his involvement in the second, we don’t know much about him. Introverted, clumsy, and not very clever - those are the few traits the books give him. But what draws me to his character is that there is much more to him beneath the surface that has yet to be touched. I don’t believe that Peter is as cowardly as people make him to be, but I also don’t believe he is incredibly intelligent. I think he’s a hoarder, he’s exhausted, and he’s not very friendly to strangers.

Hogwarts, in my opinion, was a difficult time for him and after graduation he was lost and grasping to find a niche he belonged to. That isolation is a small fragment of the reason that he joined the Death Eaters, though reluctantly. They didn’t accept him but they made him feel important. Enough so that he was willing to pretend his friends no longer mattered, though the three were always nagging at the corners of his brain. Peter is a character who needs people to guide him, comfort him, and make him feel special.

He’s a young boy in the midst of a war, barely out of school, and confused about his life path. The decisions he makes are rash and thoughtless, all because he’s just a teenager, and they all come to bite him later in life. I want to explore his descent into the Death Eaters and becoming a spy, his relationships, and his entire life now that the war is at a climax.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Peter/Chemistry. He/Him.

Peter is a closeted bisexual. He believes that homosexuality is immoral because that was what his father pressed whenever he asked about other boys. When he was younger he was envious of their looks and their nature, and sometimes he found envy turning to lust. But always he would remind himself that to be attracted to boys would make his father furious and suddenly Peter would throw himself at girls. And their rejection made him isolated and scared, and the cycle would begin again. Now that his father is dead and his mother hasn’t spoken to him, Peter is more liable to give in to temptation. But as of now the war matters more than sex or love, both of which he has never tasted.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

Headcanons.

001. Honeydukes is the only place that Peter truly misses from his Hogsmeade trips. Lemon drops, peppermint sticks, chocolate frogs, and Bertie Botts. He remembers the trips through snow and falling leaves and warm cobblestone. His memory is flooded with laughter and giving and the gentle touch of a friend. Honeydukes was never just a shop of sweets and childhood happiness, it was the one place that had never been tainted by a bad Professor or embarrassing moment. He clings to it dearly even after others have forgotten.

002. After his father died, his mother stopped responding to his letters. It had come as a surprise for Peter to find his owls returned empty handed because he considered himself to have been rather close with his mom. Now he continues to write her in the hopes that she will come back to him, but in the meantime it has inspired him to find work and make a living. He wants to impress her should she find her way back into his life.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“Invisibility. I want to be a fly on the wall sometimes. Rats aren’t small enough to hide forever and my friends already know what I look like, y'know? I only want a potion that wears off after a few hours, but nothing disgusting. I bloody want one that tastes like peppermint, or coffee, or something sweet. And it would be smooth and work without pain. Just invisibility without any strings. I wouldn’t name it! Otherwise people would find out and they’d steal it from me. I’d never want that.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“I have to pick one person? Remus has always been the nicest towards me…as an individual. But I would like everyone there. Sirius and James, too, though they’d make jokes about me being a bloody coward. And I am, alright? I don’t want to go ink the Forbidden Forest at night. I never have. As for what I’d bring…whatever James needed me to. I could only imagine we’re going in there for one of his schemes, or Sirius’ pranks. I’d just have whatever they need.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“What to do, when to do it. I used to believe I was independent but I’ve never been, not really. I’ve always needed someone to guide me. I just bloody wish I was normal, like my mates. I can barely take care of myself and they’re having full lives.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“That I’m dumb. People always assume that because my marks were bad, that I’m stupid. Well, I am. But they’re not allowed to say it, right? I need to hold some dignity. Only my mates can say it because they’re just taking the piss. It’s normal. Other people saying it will make me…Merlin, I’m not bloody violent. Not really. I won’t do anything…I just don’t want them to say it.”

WRITING SAMPLE

The world was black, and white, and smelled of mud.

Peter felt the lasting tug of freedom as he scuttled down the corridor and felt the coolness of stone beneath his paw pads. The soft clack of long nails were the only sound invading the heavy silence of the air, but he was sure no human would think twice about it. Another old house settling into its foundation, creating creepy noises in its wake. He was just another sound to the people in that room, he was just another creature lost among the hundreds of things surviving in the towering building.

A sharp left and he found himself face to face with a slightly ajar door, the wood warped from years of deprivation and unable to close entirely. He could see the splinters that would catch in his amber fur and embed in the flesh of his back, but this was for the greater good and he would manage through the pain. It was nothing in comparison to what his mates had done previously on their own missions, or what he would be asked to do in the future.

Who would he be spying on next?

The thought stopped him, and Peter felt his heart thundering in his chest. The Order trusted him but they didn’t give him the incentive that he wanted. It wasn’t enough to fight for equality and justice, it wasn’t enough to get a pat on the back when he didn’t completely fuck something up. He wanted real pride, and danger, and the sweet taste of adrenaline. But the thought of his friends had him questioning what had gone wrong in his childhood to make him okay with betrayal. Would he ever truly be happy? What if it came down to murder, or a duel, or looking at James and telling him you were never meant to be good?

He forced himself to move and slid under the door, refraining from eliciting a noise as the splinters tore into his back. Later he would ask Remus to pluck them out and he would smile and pretend that the mission went beautifully. Later he would tell them that he hadn’t thought twice about eavesdropping on the Death Eaters.

Later he would lie and give them false information.

His human form was uncomfortable and awkward as he emerged from his rat body. The group would be in the next room, but he had chosen to come as an Animagus to avoid being seen until that moment. A silver mask was affixed to his face but it made breathing impossibly difficult and he ached to take it off. This wasn’t him, his head screamed. This was not Peter Pettigrew of the Order who followed his mates around every day.

This boy was nothing like that child, and he doubted he’d ever be allowed to go back.