#also this is gonna sound contradictory but my gender is gay man lol

[binders-and-beanies]

Going off prev post. Idk how to word this but identifying proudly with gay culture while not identifying as gay (bc I’m bi) gives me a very special type of love for gay men. I love them not because I’m like them, in fact I do feel like a separate “category” from them but we have similar experiences.

Appreciating them from an outside perspective almost feels like a deeper love to me than if I felt like we were the same. We’re in it together and we also learn from each other. I feel different from them not in a distanced sort of way but in a solidarity sort of way. That + we are sucking and fucking each other

[fatsmyname]

this is probably gonna sound weird but ur blog is great and um. its great to see lgbt ppl who take gender how they want to including in ways some ppl think are contradictory. but he/him or he/they lesbians are super cool. y'all kinda inspiring. i worry less than i used to abt what cis ppl think of me or what my gender is supposed to be like. so thanks for being cool. sincerely a not lesbian he/they dude

Hey!!! Not weird at all and I really appreciate ur super kind words!!!

As a queer person I fully embrace queerness in every aspect of my life including my gender fucky identity. I feel like people get really confused when they see butches and masc folk teeter between two labels and are even enraged by this! Even other lgbt people get enraged by this!!! It’s really sad honestly and just shows how much these people continue to impose binaries on others.

There are lesbians who identify as ftm and lesbianism. There are lesbians who use the men’s bathroom and to other people in society, are seen as… men! And they like that! And I think that ambiguity really bothers people. Especially when we use he/him pronouns. I mostly resonate with butch elders who want to be seen as men but are lesbians. I feel like people get scared by that sentence because they think that just because everyone else sees you as a man, you are one. But it’s more nuanced than that. And, contrary to what most people think, it doesn’t drive other lesbians away from us! In fact I think it makes us more desirable and wanted by other lesbians. The butch4fem dynamic is a beautiful one and there have been plenty of those relationships that existed with the butch being literally known as the “man”.

Another thing I find super interesting (and relate a lot to as someone who is also butch4butch) is that butch4butch relationships and dynamics look a lot like gay male dynamics! And I think that’s so fucking neat. Our innate masculinity and attraction to others masculinity is so strong that we perceive our love and sexuality similar to that of gay men. In fact there are butches who enter sexual relationships with transmen because of this! Does this make the butch any less of a lesbian? No! And it doesn’t invalidate the transman’s identity either. If you want to read more about this particular dynamic (because I find that it confuses people more than anything) please read Of Catamites and Kings by Gayle Rubin. It’s a great read and one that I wish more people had access to.

Sorry this is long haha but yes!!! You should worry less about what people think of your gender and just do whatever the hell makes you feel comfortable! That’s what I’ve been doing and it’s soooo liberating. There are so many intersections of the queer experience and I think we’d be horrible to continue to squeeze obviously queer people into more binaries just because people have a strict idea of what gender or lesbianism should look like (among other things too, not just lesbianism)! N ee way if u read all this thanks lol i love u