#also this fic is now my longest

[ohsunnyboy]

living wine | song eunseok ˚₊‧⁺˖

song eunseok is good at maths, a vampire or an extreme lightweight. one of those is false, and it's not the one you think it is!

TAGS: college!au, vampire!eunseok, human!reader, gn!reader, vivid descriptions of blood, veins and feeding, kissing and caressing, gets suggestive by the end!!

A/N: eunseok has such vampire-esque visuals i couldn't help myself hehe self indulgent as per usual (idk why this turned out so long i just wanted to write some hot bloodsucking)

WORDS: ~2400

"How on earth did you get all of this wrong?" You stare at the question sheet and back at his laptop. The fang about, find out! sticker on it fraying and stained with takeout. "I thought communication studies was meant to be easy?"

"It's not wrong. There's no wrong in comm studies," he groans, still rolling about the floor of your dorm like a toddler. “I swore to Sungchan this would be the last time I change my major and he's going to tear me apart if I can't ace this."

"Oh boohoo, your mysterious campus vampire aura will be ruined. What will everyone do?" you intone, rolling your eyes.

Said mysterious vampire, Song Eunseok, buries his face into your plush cushions and groans some more. Imagine communications being the biggest of your worries in the world.

As a political science major, with a minor in vampire relations, it seemed natural when you stumbled into Eunseok's friend group at a You Can Fang event at the college. A vamp and human mixer to encourage integration due to well... reasons.

Because the thing is, vamps have only been about for 30 years.

Which is a lie. Or rather, a condensation of the fact that they've been generally acceptable for 30 years. It's only now do you find tick boxes for vampires on questionnaires, 24/7 blood banks and raw blood on the a la cartes to cater to the perpetually living.

Apart from that, it's been since the dawn of time they've been kicking about, seamlessly blending into society by acting like the rest of you. As evidenced by the one stretched out like flattened dough on your plush carpet. Eunseok physically exists at 18, has the vainness of a 15-year-old but has been kicking around for 22 whole years.

Which somehow doesn't qualify him from doing college level anything even half well.

"You still there?" Eunseok’s voice is muffled from where he's face down on the carpet, that or it's his fangs digging into his lip. He’s been limp and lethargic like this for far too long.

"Yeah, yeah just baffled at what you've written," you hum.

You shift the laptop from your lap to the floor next to you, choosing to study the moping princess. Eunseok’s brown hair is almost black in the dim of your room while also sticking up everywhere from running his hand through it constantly. Even his clothes look out of it, which is a feat for someone who always aims for college campus chic. Further, while it’s traditionally vampiric to be ghastly pale – Eunseok’s always had a tan from when he was bitten at 18 that just stuck around – his skin somehow looks even worse in the lamp light.

"What's wrong, Eunseok? You've been like this all week," you sigh.

Thump-thump. The clock ticks three times; it’s nearly midnight and the full moonlight peeks through the blinds. Thump— he shifts. “It’s nothing..." Curling further up into a ball. Like you believe that, he’s a professional whiner.

"Real convincing. How about you sit up and look me in the eyes when you say that,” you quip back. With some more prodding at his head with your foot, Eunseok sits up petulant.

You take your time to look at him properly now: Eunseok’s sunken eyes and dry mouth. It makes your own lips purse in concern. It’s a far cry to what your Eunseok usually looks like however it’s all signs of what you’ve been suspecting all this time. Idiot.

"I am completely fine,” he says it with the utmost uncertainty of any college student lying through their teeth about already having started a paper that is due the next day.

"Seok... you're paler than a sheet." When you say it, his face nearly brightens up. "That’s not a compliment!" And only then does he huff out a small laugh, eyes casting to the side.

“I’m fine, promise. Just…long night?” Eunseok mutters but it comes out like a question. You know he sleeps poor in general but that’s no excuse. You pay way too much attention to him, is what some voice says at the back of your mind, but never mind that.

Maybe it’s a reassurance when he snakes a hand around your ankle, but his cold embrace only reminds you of what he is. Maybe it’ll make whatever you plan to do just a bit easier. The question’s been dancing on the tip of your tongue since the start after all.

"...When's the last time you fed?" your eyes search for his as you ask, but he seems hellbent on avoiding your gaze.

"Why? are you offering?" Eunseok snorts and you can taste the sarcasm in his tone. He shakes his head again, before finally raising his gaze to yours apologetically. "...Look this week's been so bad. All the blood banks are low, my new TA is Satan incarnate and Sungchan chipped my tooth last time I tried feeding from him so I couldn't even feed properly then.” His finger’s drum across the skin of your ankle: pinching and smoothing.

"...and then everybody's also been busy with the new semester,” you conclude.

"Exactly.”

The silence consumes the room. You’d liken it to someone taking a fluffy blanket and smothering you in it. Dying in comfort and screaming in silence.

The sensation of Eunseok’s fingers on your skin is what grounds you. Pinch and soothe, thump-thump, pinch and smooth, thump-thump. Goosebumps have started to rise up your leg as you watch his movement. Thump-thump, pinch and smooth. You’ve grown used to his cold whenever you press against each other, even when he tries to stay away. Despite it, your heart races all the same.

Thump-thump, pinch and smooth.

The carpet bites when you crawl to him.

"Woah, woah hold on. You’re not doing what I think you’re doing.” Eunseok holds out his hand like that’s going to stop you. “You've never been fed on before,” he says it with such a painful sincerity that you think it’s meant to hurt, but right now, waiting in silence is hurting you more than he ever could.

"You need it, idiot. Besides, I trust you enough.”

"I've been a vamp for like 4 years! I don't trust me enough!"

"What happened to feeding from Sungchan a minute ago? You literally led the safe feeding talk at that You Can Fang thing last year!" You kneel back, saving yourself from your tone.  

Eunseok’s pinching and smoothing down the skin of his own hand. Nerves line him but you know he can hear your heart much better than you can your own. Thump-thump-thump—

"It was from his wrist, and it wasn’t term yet. I’ve – well, I’ve looked at yours, your veins are way too faint,” Eunseok mumbles. His beady eyes dipping towards your throat, while your own eyes track his tongue as he wets his lip. “You know I’d have to feed from your neck.” His voice trembles under the suggestion. Under this light, it should be impossible to tell if he’s blushing, but you swear he’s buzzing with heat.

You’re not stupid: you pay attention to your vampire education and etiquette classes. Enough people walked out of that feeding talk red faced and a little shifty eyed at anyone that had bite marks at the neck. The blush that sears across your face now probably mirrors theirs.

The thing is, you’ve made up your mind a long time ago.

“I’m offering, Eunseok. Don’t be more of an idiot than I think you already are.”

Thump-thump-thump—

Eunseok’s pupils swallow up the whites of his eyes, and in the next instant, you’re being lifted, straddling his thigh, his arms a crushing force wrapped around your back and cradling your head. Burying his face into the skin of your throat, he makes a high sigh of relief. Fire licks up across where you touch, eating you alive before he’s even sank a fang.

Even if he’s stone cold under your touch, the room feels like it’s been plunged into a broil, losing yourself in a steamy haze. He noses at your pulse, the tell-tale thump-thump-thump— of your own must be as loud as the fucking heavens crashing down on him. Amber and roses, the scent that’s haunted you everywhere since you got it for him, reminds you of all that he is.

(Yours.)

A breath, another, another, before Eunseok’s head tilts up from where you’ve locked your arms around him, and you come to stare at his impossibly dark eyes paired with his pearly peeking fangs. “…Are you sure?"

You close your eyes, seeking patience. “Take as much as you need, idiot.” And Eunseok exhales so hard his whole-body shakes. Your hand tightening itself at the mess of his hair. Come on, take it.

His eyes flutter, stupidly long eyelashes ticklish against your skin, his head ducks and you get a second before he presses his lips to your neck, drops his fangs and bites.

The pain is a pinch.

A sensation that will root itself into your guts and sear itself into your muscle memory. It crawls up your jaw and shatters across your head; it splits from your skull, and it streaks down your back; and then it sets aflame everything you thought was burning already. Distantly, he groans into your skin with the same neediness as before.

Where there is fire, his lips come to sooth. Eunseok lets out a soft, needful sound as he presses his lips over your skin – and maybe you do too. Every inch of you breaks into shivers. Thump-thump-thump-thump— an anthem backed by chorus. You can feel yourself losing grip in his hair, but Eunseok just pulls you impossibly closer into him, propped up in his arms as you give more onto him. Drinking you in and eating you whole.

“Thank you,” he starts mumbling into your skin, over and over. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Eunseok slurs it out like prayer. Blood drunk is the word you can find floating in the haze of your mind. You turn the thought of it over and over in your head with fascination. You have to bite back a whine.

Even without the blood, you could lose yourself to the feeling of his roaming hands. Always so close to edging under your sweatshirt but catching himself every time. His hands clench at your hips, taut in a way he’s never been before.   

"Please, Eunseok..." Amid your daze, you find the strength to nod, finding his hands and slipping them under and then up, and up. You reward him, pressing a kiss to his hair. He answers with a groan that shudders down your body. Tracing the line of your spine, ribs and collar. Leaving you gasping into your quiet dorm room. You’re half aware of your agape mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head, every part of you singing as Eunseok takes.

Propped up in each other’s arms, you don't know which one of you has given more to the sensation. Far away, you think you could sit like this for hours. Wrapped up in everything Eunseok. Subject to a degree of sheer want that you’d never want him sharing with anyone. Yours, yours, yours. It’s the anthem of your heart when you’re pressed against each other in one hot line.

…It could be another age when you feel his fangs detract. 

All you hear is your heaving breaths against the tick of the clock. The hum of your blood has plastered itself to the walls of your mind, another fixture that you’ve somehow adjusted to. Just like the cold that meets your neck again, and again. A break in the ice after drowning for hours.

Eunseok laps at the puncture wounds at your neck with enthusiasm. His hands planted firmly on your hips, holding you in place. You want to squirm as he leaves a trail of kisses to chase after the blood that drips from the wounds. Savouring every drop of you.

You bring a hand up, to cradle his working jaw, marvelling at the flush on his skin, the utter mess of his hair, how he holds you so gently.

“You… you taste like living wine. You know that, right?” Eunseok croaks out, eyes closed, head down. Something in you is struck with awe, you’ve never seen him like this. “Taste so fucking good.” He punctuates it with a kiss at the base of your throat, searing with want, humming from satisfaction.

He continues to trail them up all the way to the corner of your mouth. Teasing at your lips with his red stained ones. “You’ve ruined this for me. Don’t want anyone else feeding from you,” he purrs.

Instead of sitting there limp, you capture his face and plant a quick kiss to his lips. “Don’t want you feeding from anyone else either.” You can taste your blood on your lips as you smile and look him dead in the eye. “You’re mine too.”

Thump-thump. Eyes wide open, he stares back at you with the same craze. Partnered with Eunseok’s own brand of a self-satisfied smirk that’s driven you insane since you met him – it's mix made for devastation.

“Feel better now?” you croak out.

“All thanks to you,” he hums.

Moonlight pierces into the room and you can see him clearer now. There’s some more colour to his skin, flush from exertion, with your blood a lip-stain. Even his dazed eyes are somehow more alert than before – in spite of being a notorious lightweight.

“Let me take care you.” Eunseok preens under your hands and moves.

You nearly go dizzy from the rush as Eunseok manhandles you. Lifting you from under the knees, plastering you to his front, legs bracketing his waist, before depositing you onto your bed. A laugh escapes you from the rush of Eunseok caging you in, while landing a glancing peck on your lips

“Oh?” And you quirk your brow. A cheeky grin on your face at his own amused look. "A round two?"

However, Eunseok just rolls his eyes and collapses beside you. “We both have class in the morning and it’s like 1am.” The cheeky bugger buries into your side and slings an obnoxious leg around your hip. “I’ll get you like a Gatorade in the morning for your electrolytes when we wake up, yah?”

To be honest with yourself, there’s not enough strength in you to protest or even roll your eyes back at him. Your heart’s too busy guiding you to sleep while a hand finds yours in the night.

Thump-thump… pinch and soothe.

(Needless to say, you had to wear a turtleneck to class tomorrow morning.)

pls lmk how this turned out bc this one was a learning experience for me! a like or reblog would be lovely if you enjoyed ty <3 ⭒ masterlist

[boojangs]

You, Me, Us: Chapter 22

Spotify, play Guide Me Home.

[calamitoustide]

I REGRET YOU ALL THE TIME!

Would've Could've Should've - Taylor Swift/Hoax - Taylor Swift/@heavensghost/unknown/I Regret You All The Time - @inevitablestars/Would've Could've Should've - Taylor Swift/I Regret You All The Time - Inevitablestars/Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor/I Regret You All The Time - Inevitablestars/Would've Could've Should've - Taylor Swift/I Regret You All The Time - Inevitablestars/Stay Down - Boygenius/I Regret You All The Time - Inevitablestars/Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor/Unknown/Letter to an Old Poet - Boygenius/Hoax - Taylor Swift/I Regret You All The Time - Inevitablestars/Michael Cunningham The Hours/No Surprises - Radiohead/Would've Could've Should've - Taylor Swift/Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor/Letter to an Old Poet - Boygenius/Unknown/Waiting for This Story to End Before I Begin Another -  Jan Heller Levi/I Regret You All The Time - Inevitablestars/Hoax - Taylor Swift/You Missed My Heart - Phoebe Bridgers/Would've Could've Should've - Taylor Swift

[flusteredfools]

Rough sketches of chibi FaeY/N (nicknamed Faeyn now) be upon ye! kept thinking about a lil bit of a role reversal with Faeful Hearts and so I might have to write a lil one-shot for the drabbles soon. If even just for myself. A Fa(e)te Reversal Au of an Au? XD

eventually I'll write up a lil short for each one and how they Meet Faeyn.

Lil sketches of Eclipse's Clover, Sunny's Blossom and Moon's Mouse.

[rowanisawriter]

very cool new idea for an ongoing wip but it could extend the wip by several chapters, 4 dead 30 injured author is putting on clown 🤡 makeup to prepare for more casualties

[chnqin]

I just need people to know that I am currently about 2/3 of the way through No Paths are Bound by @cataclysmicevie and I am being totally normal about it, it is not consuming my every waking thought, I am not wishing it was longer than 1,158,737 words because I'll probably only have about a week's worth of reading left and I have separation anxiety issues. I am fine. very normal.

[nostalgia-tblr]

Reminding myself that I resolved not to delete any fics that have a bookmark on them😭

[aurorashard]

.

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

the heist!mark brainrot is consuming me…, just imagine mark n the viewer meeting for the first time as little kids to shoplift candy or smth together ╥﹏╥

the (brain)rot consumes!! I can relate

my dear anon... LISTEN. I am a big advocate for childhood friends captaineer, it's one of my favourite headcanons, but a childhood friends AU for the heist partners? that's something I hadn't considered until now. and it's adorable. I had to write something for it asap because I was INSPIRED. I hope you enjoy💖 thanks for sparking the idea!

Heist!Mark x reader (not explicitly romantic at all it's more about the friendship in this one) | Words: 1,317

You are in the kitchen of your shared home base, unloading the groceries your heist partner has just bought, when you pick up a bag of sour candies, smiling quietly to yourself. He's always been a fan of them.

Turning the packet in your hands, an old memory drifts to the surface of your mind:

You don't remember exactly how long ago it was, but you couldn't have been much older than maybe ten.

Your father was busy working, and had reluctantly sent you to the store with a small list after you insisted you could handle it on your own.

You slipped the folded piece of paper out of your school bag and scanned the list of items. At the bottom was a note that read, ‘Remember to stay hydrated, kiddo! :)’

You walked around the supermarket collecting the few things on your list and placed them in your trolley. On your way to the checkout, you passed through the candy aisle and slowed to eye the products on display.

‘Aren't you going to get anything?’

Your head perked up, shocked at the sudden voice addressing you.

There was a boy next to you with dark hair, looking at you inquisitively. He seemed to be about your age. He might have even been slightly shorter than you.

You must have been standing here for longer than you realised if it had prompted him to ask you about it.

You shook your head.

‘Why not?’

‘Oh, um. My dad only gave me enough money for what we need,’ you said timidly, showing him the list.

‘Ohh, that's too bad.’ Then, a small yet undeniably mischievous smile appeared on his face. He glanced discreetly up and down the aisle. ‘You know you can just — ’ and he took one of the small packets of candy off the shelf and slipped it swiftly into his pocket.

Your eyes went wide, stunned. Both from the fact that he was suggesting you steal, and at the speed and subtly with which he'd enacted the crime, as if he'd done it dozens of times before, if not more.

‘What are you doing?’ you spoke in a harsh whisper.

‘It's no big deal,’ he said in a lower voice than before, but one that still felt entirely too loud. He slipped another bag into his pocket.

You did not want to associate with this boy any longer.

You pushed your trolley away and towards the checkout, handing your items to the cashier.

You were unhappy to find the boy waiting for you when you exited the store, shopping bag in your hand.

‘What do you want?’ you asked, a little standoffishly, frowning at him.

‘There's no need to be rude,’ he said with a small pout. ‘Y'know, I think I might have seen you at school a few times.’

To your dismay, he followed along as you started walking home. When you pressed him, he simply said, ‘Hey, I'm not following you! I live down this way too, I promise!’

As the two of you walked, he chatted annoyingly by your side. What was more annoying was that you found you didn't mind his presence. You were a quiet kid and you didn't have many friends. Having someone to walk home with you was kind of a nice change of pace.

Just as you thought this, though, you immediately chided yourself mentally. You and him were not friends. You weren't going to be friends. This boy was a criminal and he wasn't even sorry about it.

You frowned in thought.

Oh no, what if he got caught? What if you went to juvenile jail for being an accomplice to theft? What would Dad say? What would Mom say? What if—’

‘Hey, are you listening to me? You haven't responded to anything I'm saying.’

You simply sighed as he pulled you out of your thoughts.

‘Are you still mad about the candy? I told you it's not a big deal.’

You stopped as you realised you were approaching your front door. The journey seemed to have gone a little faster than usual.

‘Really?’ you finally replied in an exasperated tone. ‘That was no big deal for you? That was stealing. Stealing is wrong.’ You couldn't believe you had to spell it out to him.

‘They won't notice a couple tiny bags of candy are gone. My mom says big companies that own supermarkets are greedy. They make loads of money anyway and don't pay enough taxes.’

‘Does your mom know you're a thief?’

‘W- well, no, but-’

‘That’s what I thought.’

He looked a little disheartened.

‘Please don't tell anyone. I'm sorry if I upset you,’ he said quietly, looking down.

You hadn't really expected an apology from someone like him. You sighed again.

‘I won't tell, but don't expect me to just go along with it. And don't act like we're best buds all of a sudden. We don't know each other. You don't even know my name!’

‘Well, what's your name?’

You gave him a slightly surprised look before telling him your name, albeit hesitantly.

‘Look, I have to get going now…’

You fumbled with the shopping bag as you reached into your coat pocket, feeling for the house key, when you suddenly felt something that wasn't there before. It made a crinkling sound beneath your touch.

‘You didn't.’ You pulled the candy out of your pocket. ‘When did you—?’

The boy grinned at you.

‘I thought you could have one of mine.’

‘I don't want your stolen candy!’

‘Judging by how you looked at it earlier, I think you do. And besides, stolen treats taste better!’ he called out, already walking away.

‘Wh- SHH!’ You hoped none of your neighbours had heard.

‘I'm Mark by the way! See ya, buddy!’

You stood outside the front door, dumbfounded.

Finally you let yourself in. Your dad wouldn't be home yet for a while.

You put the shopping away and sat down at your kitchen table, staring at the stolen goods in front of you.

You could try to put it back but… that would be more suspicious.

You figured, the deed had been done. There was nothing you could do now, so you may as well make the most of it.

You tore the edge of the packet and popped one of the candies in your mouth, savouring the sweet and sour combination on your tongue.

Maybe Mark was right. It did taste extra good. But maybe it was just because you'd been craving it.

What a weird kid.

‘Stealing is wrong, huh…?’ you mumble under your breath. You look down at the candy in your hands. It's not the same brand as the one from back then, but you imagine it tastes more or less the same, from what you remember.

Present day Mark is the one to pull you out of your musings.

‘Hey, what's with that face you're making? I know that look, buddy. Are you contemplating your life choices??’

You chuckle softly.

‘Just… got reminded of something. I suppose I got lost in nostalgia for a moment.’

‘Oh yeah? Penny for your thoughts?’

You turn and smile at him.

‘This just made me think of an annoying little boy stealing candy from a supermarket. And his reluctant acquaintance who ended up getting dragged into his antics for the foreseeable future.’

It takes a second for it to click.

‘Ohhhhh.’ You watch as realisation turns to him smiling fondly at the memories, which turns to him snapping his attention to you with a fake-offended look.

You laugh at his expression.

‘Wait, hey! Annoying?!’

‘Mhm.’

‘Excuse you, I was a wonderful, sweet and positively charming child.’

Your laughter rings out in the kitchen, full of mirth, and he shakes his head at you with a familiar lopsided grin, and you are so grateful for the cheeky little boy who approached you that day.

[plothooksinc]

In which things continue to go downhill. Until they don't. And then they do again. Buckle up, this one's a bit rough.

[groenendaelfic]

Chapter 22 out now!

In which Wilhelm is not the only one with a cousin—or three—who thinks they deserve all of Wilhelm's attention. -or- Simon's toddler cousins come to visit for Easter and immediately declare Wilhelm to be the best jungle gym ever. Simon is not jealous.

[fiepige]

WOOO chapter 3 is up!!!

Summary:

“HOLY SH-” Miles and Gwen simultaneously turned to cover Pav’s mouth so as to not alert the creature in the middle of the carnage below them. The creature either didn’t hear him or it was too preoccupied with whatever it was doing. To his regret Miles soon realized what that was, as another wet snapping noise broke the silence once more. The creature was crouched down on all fours over what Miles assumed was the body of an officer, though it was so mutilated that it was hard to tell for sure. Its head was buried into the chest of the body beneath it, another wet snapping noise emerging as it pulled out a couple of ribs between its bloodied jaws... Or The Spider-Gang goes looking for Hobie. They don’t like what they find.

Chapter 3 of my Venom!Hobie fic is here! 💜💜💜

[jfleamont]

All Things Must Pass (snippet)

Snippet #1: x

Summary:

It starts with the death of one person and ends with the birth of another. When James dies unexpectedly, Lily is forced to live with the regret of not having told him that she loves him. She’s loved him for years, even when he thought she hated him, even when they unexpectedly became friends, then best friends, then friends with benefits. But the past doesn’t always stay in the past, so when she goes back to the flat they shared and sees James looking at her with the same eyes she had seen closed in the casket at his funeral just the day before, her world is turned upside down. This is just the beginning of an unexpected series of events. It’s a story about the process of grieving, healing, forgiving and ultimately letting go, but it’s also about second chances, new beginnings and hope.

“No, you're not going anywhere,” Sirius blocked her path. She'd rarely seen him this furious. It scared her.

“Let me go, Sirius.”

“Not until you answer me. How did you know?”

She avoided his eyes, focusing on pulling on a loose thread in her jumper.

“Know what?” 

“Don't play dumb! How did you know about that letter? I never sent it to James. I never sent it to you.”

Lily looked at James. He shook his head, begging her not to say anything.

Logically, she shouldn't.

But she was so tired of lying to everyone, to Sirius more than anyone else.

“He told me.”

A furrow appeared between his brows.

“Who?”

It was now or never. He'd take her for a lunatic, but she didn't care. Anything was better than lying to him and keeping him away.

“James.”

“I told you, James never saw the letter. I wrote it after he died.”

“I know. He saw you write it after the funeral. He saw you burn it.”

Sirius recoiled at that, and his eyes widened in horror.

“Did you put fucking hidden cameras in my home, Lily? What the fuck?”

He looked so betrayed. What if he didn't believe her? What if he'd hate her for breaking his trust?

“You know maybe this was a bad idea,” she said. Whether it was to Sirius or James, she didn't know. 

“No, you have to tell me how you know that. Are you a fucking rat like Peter?”

That was too much.

“I can see him! I see James and I can hear him, too. He's here, and he's been here this whole time and I know for a fact you'll think I'm crazy or, even worse, than I'm lying but he's fucking here and I don't know how to explain it,” she exploded. At some point while she was talking she had started crying, and now she couldn’t stop.

Sirius’ whole demeanour shifted instantly. He put one hand forward, reaching for her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her but she backed away.

“Lily, listen, I miss him too and sometimes I feel like he's still here but—” 

“You don't get it, do you? It's not… This is not grief, or perhaps it is, I don't know! All I know is that since I came back to the flat after the funeral he's been there. He's not… I know he's dead. But I think… I don't know what to call it, but it's him, or what's left of him. His ghost, his soul, whatever you want to call it. I can talk to him and look him in the eyes, Sirius. And he's here. I think he can only appear in places he's been before, like our flat or yours, but not Petunia's house.”

Sirius was looking at her strangely. She knew he wanted to believe her, she could read him very well, but the rational part of him was scared.

Scared of her.

Or for her, perhaps. 

“Lily, sit here for a moment, okay? I'm sure all this stress isn't good for you.” 

Lily fixed him with a glare. “You're the one who started yelling at me,” she protested, but sat on the sofa anyway and James, who had been quiet the whole time sat on its edge next to her. He wanted to say something, she could tell he needed Sirius to listen to him.

“I know, I'm sorry… I just don't understand how—” 

She huffed. “I told you how. And I know you find it hard to believe me right now, but that's the only explanation I have.”

Sirius sat on the armchair in front of her, head in his hands. “I don't know what to think.”

“Have I ever given you reason to think I'm crazy?” 

James snorted, but she resisted the urge to look at him.

“I mean, yeah,” Sirius smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes, “but not in the literal sense. And you seem pretty sane to me right now. You know, aside from this ghost thing.”

“Okay.”

“But I'm not going to lie to you, Lily, this is scaring me. I don't know what to do. Should I call a therapist? Or your dad? I don't know how to help you.”

He looked helpless.

“You could. But I've done both and my therapist says it's normal, while my dad said that this never happened to him after mum died, so…”

“You told your therapist you can still see James?” 

“Well, I might have omitted a thing or two…”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that James told me about the letter. That James comes here on his own to visit you sometimes.”

Sirius was the one to look away now.

“I can't do this right now.”

He got up all of a sudden, heading for the door.

“He misses you.”

Sirius stopped in his tracks, and turned to look at her, his stormy eyes full of unshed tears and an unreadable expression on his face.

“And I'm supposed to believe he told you that,” he said. It didn't sound like a question.

She nodded.

“Wait, didn't you say he was here? Like actually here in this room? Why can't I see him?”

“I don't know, I think that—” 

“Why can you see him? Fuck, even if it's just an hallucination, why do you get to have those and I don't? I'm his brother, for fuck's sake! And you're…” he stopped speaking abruptly.

Lily tilted her head to the side.

“I'm what? Just his friend, right? Who also happens to be carrying his child, but that means nothing, right?”

She knew she sounded childish, but she couldn't help it.

“He doesn't mean that,” spoke James, who had stood up and was now walking towards Sirius.

“You know that's not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean?” she got up from the couch and crossed her arms, staring down at Sirius with a murderous expression.

He looked at her for a long moment.

“I don't know,” he shrugged, defeated.

There was no fight left in Sirius, and it was pointless to keep trying to make him understand.

She grabbed her coat and purse and this time, when she reached the front door, Sirius moved out of her way. 

“Well, let me know when you figure it out.”

[zukkaoru]

transmasc gin. that's all that's the post.

[comfortlesshurt]

you know what I've written today? NOTHING

and I still have to get up and go do my least favorite chore: groceries

[mieltelecheycrema]

yk no one really talks about the ending glitch thing (from what ive seen) in f and c like yeah its a whole blink and you miss it type thing but the implications !!!!

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