#also they're weird abt his body and just in general suck

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

"how they acted when ltm confessed on bbl he was feeling tired during ngda promo" what did they do????

they made him apologize for being overworked

[fappellmoan]

bitch post time!!!!!! many revelations ok last night's vibes were HEINOUS but it provided so much for me and lydia to talk about and now i am gonna share with you yippee storytime

k so we plan to go to this valentines day showcase thing that the college radio is putting on last night. mind you at my place of work where i pretended that i had a family emergency and had to go home cause i didnt feel like going into work yesterday morning lol idiot... i was so paranoid my boss was there in disguise or some shit it was stupid. sorry um. yeah so ok i was largely like this could be a chance for friend groups to come together and maybe ill be able to talk to sams roommate and also like i do want to see more live music and it's free! so. anyway ok wait let me tell u abt the first part of the day

so me and lydia drive over some wine bottles to sam for him to use as props in a film. and sam and the roommate are sitting on their porch and we chat a little bit acc sam said as i walked up 'you always look so suspicious' and i was like 'ok u guys were literally just staring at me' cause they WERE and roommate was actually really nicely like 'oh no you're okay' and generally was just kind of inserting into our convo which well i had fun with naturally. um anyway and then who comes running up but teko! our buddy teko. and sams like have yall met and im like Of course and teko gives me a hug and i cant lie it was actually so sweet. i am also extremely touch starved but it was a nice hug. anyway. then i had to help roommate pick shoes alongside teko's fit and then i was like um Ok Bye. when i got back in the car lydia was like so i saw a neon sweatshirt... and i was like yeah <3 that's my man <3 sorry ok vibes get worse as the night comes

me and lydia end up getting to sam's late to 'pregame' this show and ig it was supposed be like. it was encouraged to dress formally. and i was wearing a dress that was too small and my chappell red tights and docs. kind of a serve but me and lydia were serving much more valentines day than formal. anyway. roommate does swing around to be like hi! and THEN i see my girl chloe i looooove her shes so fuckin funny and weird and we made this weird little short together in class last semester and i was kinda intimidated by her so i was so happy shocked when she was like I was so excited to see u :D WEEE shes so cool guys and has the funniest fuckin laugh and well honestly the high points of the night were us and lydia fucking around and dancing and being weird and offputting wallflowers cause again this thing SUCKED. ok

we did also smoke beforehand and i accidentally took this huge hit and then thought id be fine w a little more but brother was i feeling funny. did not eat enough and didnt take water it was atrocious. so. we get there and let me tell you if I WAS WORKING i'd have been able to fix the fact that it was soooooooooo fucking loud in there like bad bad bad audio distortion etc i wanted to kick this dude off the mixer but like what ever... it hurt so bad. and the lights were mostly on until chloe and sam duped this guy into dimming some of them but even still it was giving middle school dance. without the fun cheesy music. some of my instagram gay people are there. um but sorry there was simply no way i was going near that dance floor like the bands lowkey highkey sucked (i mean it was just a bunch of white college dudes and they did not slay. shocker. sam kept being like 'they're so good' and we were like um haha... straight face emoji)

we acc disappeared for a while to another floor for the br and just chilled for like half an hour (and security came to find us lmfaooo but ended up just leaving) and i was feeling odd and out of body and too aware of how i looked and it was just not great i was like we're the only bitches serving cunt here... um. anywho. so like later theres a slow dance and roommate is dancing with this other girl i only know from instagram till this point and i suppose if i was really feeling myself i could have tried to make a move but i was not. once again. vile vibes in this place. like i dont mean to be a pussy i typically would be much more charming and fun if i wanted to flirt and kinda felt the vibe from them but i was not really enjoying myself LMAO

then some more of the friend group shows up at the end and sam's like 'drama is actively going down' and im like Wuhhhh the fuck and i feel like a few of them r looking at me and i was just like get me OUT of here but for some fuck ass reason was still like nooooo we should go over and have pizza w sam and them. forgive me for thinking they had like frozen pizza or smth and i could get some free food out of this no we had to sit there and wait for dominos or whatever

AND THE MOST ANNOOOOOOOOOOOYING AWFUL TERRIBLE GROSS MEN YOUVE EVER MET SAT THERE AND JOINED THE BRIEF SMOKE CIRCLE AND THEN WERE JUST THERE AND LIKE YOU COULD JUST FEEL THEM TAKING UP SPACE AND US 'GIRLS' WERE MADE TO FEEL SO SMALL ON THE FUCKING COUCH I WAS SOOOOOOOO TIRED. had to get a sweater cause i felt so uncomfortable. girl i really was only there in case i could have a saving grace moment with roommate im so serious. well and for chloe but otherwise me and lydia shoulda been outta there

literally chloe was so excited to show our little video to people and sam cut us off from getting there to show us the fucking fidget spinner game he has on his tv. girl get out! oh my fucking god. finally lydias like Cool anyway so - like sams misogyny jumped out in previously unprecedented ways. it was bad. these boys were truly making me want to kill myself im sorry like it was so bad i have curated my experience so as to be away from that for so long it was really jarring. and what you need to understand about sam is that he's almost died twice and kind of has a funny little gender vibe going on and so for a while now yeah we've gotten along through silly odd things we relate through but holy shit....... that was so offputting i cant even wrap my brain around it

also sam very much walked me into like yaoi-fying him and his best friend and then was like haha noooo why r u calling us gay ur so weird bitch just fuck him already im tired and also dont care.. hes so attention seeking and not used to um not being the center of attention. sorry! oopsies anyway so

so then im like ew like i kinda need to reassess um. the people im around. and again cant stress enough how gross and judged and just kinda old i felt surrounded by these ppl even tho theyre all like within a year of age? and like roommate still seems maybe cool but since we didnt actually talk and they were off w the other roommate/other ppl i cant help but associate them w the odd vibes but like. honestly idk i might just try to uh slide into their dms rlly casually. bc. well idk how the friend group is fracturing and it wouldnt surprise me if they were annoyed with sam esp living with him but obv i dont really know. but again let me stress this friend group has been friends since their freshman year like what r yall doing yeah u do need to break up....

so i figure since they're hot (and kinda tiny i cant tell if they're shorter than me or just right around my height) (but also they kind of scared me by giving Instagram face while posing for a pic last night i cant do any more people giving off dorian gray rn. but i was also under the influence so um that didnt help) i could just yeah be brave see how it goes and worst case scenario it's not a vibe yk. and best case scenario i get to hang w them and teko. teko so gives francis. anyway

OH also sam and the friends insisted on listening to this ai generated… thing like idk guys i think i was in hell fr

also had several men yell out of their cars at me and staring at me as we walked to the bus stop :/ so men really do ruin everything btw

um. so. that was the night! thx for reading if u did. i am excited to be around other fun silly cool queer people god bless fuck these people

[organicbabybattles]

Round 1, Side A, Poll 8

Rebekah Jakobs-Hammerlock ( @wainwrightjakobshammerlock ) VS. Sawyer Hale ( @thewikiplayer )

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( art by wainwrightjakobshammerlock )

What is your baby's name? Pronouns?: Rebekah Jakobs-Hammerlock, she/her

Is your baby from a fandom or original?: Fandom - the Borderlands game series

How old is your baby?: 5 in my post canon alternate universe (7-8 years after Borderlands 3)

Tell us about your baby!: She's the testtube biological baby of Sir Hammerlock & Wainwright Jakobs (which basically means she could aim and shoot a pistol at the age of 4) and has 4 siblings (one of which is also an oc, but is an adoptive kid, and the rest are canon characters who got adopted). She has a big plushie collection (some knitted or sewn by Wainwright, some crocheted by Hammerlock, some being gifts from extended family or the Crimson raiders) and also fucked up eldritch powers beyond human comprehension bc her parents are abominations from beyond the veil (my Borderlands rewrite AU is a mess haha) which she primarily uses to teleport all over the house, causing an understandable amount of problems. Clay is her weird uncle and she loves him. She's kinda based off Wednesday Addams because autism. Also she is autistic, the nicest weirdgirl on Eden-6, swears an unusual amount for a 5 year old (being around Wainwright del Frisco Jakobs-Hammerlock will do that to you) and often swaps between her Edenian (space southern) and her Hermesian (space british) accents bc yknow. Just listen to her dads speak and you'll see.

Anything else you want to add?: (1) Most people call her Reb for short but Wainwright calls her Rebby because yes. (2) She eventually grows to inherit the Jakobs corporation and generally sorta girlbossify but that's extreme future timeskip stuff I don't talk abt often because I feel cringe about it. (3) Her name continues on the general theme of Jakobs related things having biblical symbolism - Rebekah is Jacob's mother in the book of Genesis (if i remember correctly). (3) Her voiceclaim is Lili Zanotto from Psychonauts :D (4) She calls Hammerlock "Papa" and Wainwright "Daddy"

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( art by thewikiplayer )

What is your baby's name? Pronouns?: sawyer hale, he/they/xe

Is your baby from a fandom or original?: completely original!! the universe name is "turnabout tech"

How old is your baby?: 16!!

Tell us about your baby!: [MOD NOTE: TW for father death]

sawyer hale is a kid who had a pretty hard knock life in a cyberpunk dystopia city. after deciding his dad kinda sucked, sawyer ran away and emancipated himself at 16 and moved into a different, nicer city and became a hermit for a while. afterwards, he proceeded to save the world twice; once he saved a cyberworld from the big bad capitalists and second he saved the universe from collapsing via terrible creature. as he goes through these adventures he learns how to be comfortable and happy with himself again.

also he destroyed his dad when he possessed a robot body. go kid!!

sawyer super loves tech but he gave it up for a while because Shitty Dad Ruining It For Him, but he eventually finds his passion again and makes phenomenal inventions. also he is the embodiment of Baby because all the adults around him want to scoop him up and carry him around for being a little issues boy with issues. they love singing and the arts in general, and they're very open-minded, which makes them a pretty good friend.

oh yeah all his adventures kinda messed up his biology so he's partially made of code now. and also has wings made of code. he can design them however he wants like retexturing game assets. YIPPIE!

Anything else you want to add?: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE PARAGRAPH. GODSPEED

[t4tpumpkinduo]

7 and 10 for the choose violence ask game? specifically for qsmp :]

for sure tysm fr the ask :heart_hands: dirk my dear mutual and also ty fr the qsmp ver it's actually rlly fun to get to talk abt it now and again!

-

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but how the fandom acts about them?

ccan i be honest is this a safe space. hello. qcharlie.

NNOW HOLD ON hold on let me explain. i do really really like qcharlie, i think he's fun and enjoyable and even in his worse actions you can really understand the grief and pain that put him there in the first place. he is easily one of my favorites and imo a standout in the server in general ☝️ but i must mention. whale. first off i think ppl who were weird abt qq but then went the mile to understand qcharlie is kinda wack, but it's whatever. the thing tht rlly got my ass was the racism frm qcharlie fans 😭

tthe like. idk. gestures the making qmariana the same caricature tht always happens t brown characters in mcyt spaces, even just looking at their skin colors and body types drawn next to eachother, the never even bothering to engage w mariana at all except the version they'd Invent in relation to qcharlie like idk. it sucks 😭 and ik it's not qcharlie's fault i know he's well written but there's only sm times i can look at fanart and analysis like that before i start recoiling a bit. getting better abt this now tht qsmp's been over for a while however :] 👍

and ig spiderbit honerable ment? again they're cute in canon but BECAUSE of how weird and strange they were not despite. the fanon version seems v devoid of the Point of their characters but again that's its own thing and not their fault as characters i rlly like them :] i don't get anywhere near as mad abt qsmp nonsense like i do w the dsmp bcs that one wasn't psychically fused to my blood pressure

10. worse part of fanon

btoeher. srs answer the racism silly answer qwilbur i sorrey i don't like him. nary a character trait to be found and ppl ignored all of qqs actual relationships and goals and problems and wants and needs and bare minimum engaging w his story all so he could once again he an accessory piece to this fucking man standing emoji of a person who doesn't gaf abt him at all. i hope qq fucks his dad and blocks him bro ican't do this anymore

[versegm]

Also ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ owo

Well since we're talking abt Renault of the Styx, here's a general rundown of how my retelling differs from the original! I took quite a few liberties, mostly to keep it compliant to Irkalla's Ascent, and also because it's my writing and I get to slap in gratuous body horror if I want to.

- First and most importantly, Bradamante and Maugis aren't actually Renault's siblings in the og story! The original four sons of Aymon were Allard, Guichard, Renault and Richard. However, Guichard literally does not have a single line in the og, and Allard has like... two I think? His character is literally summarized as "Big Brother (tm)" so I just cut them both because have you seen my writing style if I can cut content I will.

- In fact Bradamante straight-up didn't exist yet when the original take was written! The oldest copy of the Four Sons of Aymon we have dates all the way back to the 12th century. Meanwhile, Bradamante was introduced as a character by Boiardo in Orlando Innamorato written in the 1500s, four hundred years later.

- As far as I know, Bradamante was canonized as Richard's twin sister in Orlando Furioso (the sequel to Orlando Innamorato) for the purpose of solving a queer subplot (it's complicated.) I could be wrong though.

- Maugis in the og tale was one of Renault's cousins (yes he has a lot of these.) He does some weird shit. At some point he makes Charlemagne feed him and massage his feet I think.

- (Sidenote, but Maugis apparently has another tale dedicated to him where he's the one to catch & gift Bayard the horse to Charlemagne. I have not read this one yet however so I'll have to go off the wikipedia page to tell you more.)

- Astolpho does actually show up in the Four Sons of Aymon- in fact, it's the first written tale we have where they appear at all! They're only mentioned by name though.

- Ogier does have a "where do my loyalties lie" subplot in the og tale! It doesn't lead to his entire family getting murdered, however there is another tale of his where some of his fam does get killed by Charlemagne and he ends up trying to fistfight the king. I have not read that one either though, hence why I didn't elaborate in Renault of the Styx. I was only going by the wikipedia page.

- In the og tale, Charlie asks first for Renault's head (who refuses) then for Maugis's head (Renault still refuses) and finally for Bayard's head. I have seen some really cool essays on how it might be symbolic to the power struggles of christianity vs paganism at the time, Maugis and Bayard representing christianity (as they are notably the only magical beings in the whole story) while Charlie represents christianity. That's why I emphasized a lot that Maugis looked like a demon/didn't belong in a christian world/ect ect. As you might have gathered though I know very little about christianity proper so if it came out as a bit hamfisted that's why.

- The ending! as you can guess, the og tale does not, in fact, end with Richard shooting Charlemagne. However, guns are canon within carolingian tales thanks to Orlando Furioso, so I am well within my right in writing that happening.

- Ok joke aside: in the og ending, they sacrifice Bayard the horse to Charlemagne (dw the horse lives.) Maugis exiles himself and becomes a monk. Renault gets banished and he walks barefoot to free Jerusalem (I think?) and then becomes a mason and gets murdered for having too cheap wares but it's okay he's made into a saint in the end. His brothers & kids serve under Charlemagne. At some point some guy insults Renault's kids (something like "your father was a bitch and a motherfucker") prompting a duel to happen, resulting in the offender getting hung. This is notable because Pinabel (the guy who would try to murder Bradamante in Orlando Furioso, also known as the guy who betrayed everyone in the Song of Roland and got all them bitches killed) witnesses this happen and goes "damn, Charlie sucks, fuck that bitch." and that's his origin story as a traitor.

- (which is why Astolpho briefly mentions that Renault is a saint now. it's lore accurate! unfortunately, Astolpho has other shit to do than giving exposition, so Renault my dude you're gonna have to figure this out by yourself homeboy.)

There are other bits obv but these are the major plot points I changed!

[looonnamoon]

Whooooooooooo thee fuckery is thisss???

*Thot Shit by Megan Thee Stallion plays in the background*

Why it's demon goth bakugou :))

I was thinking abt this pretty ass guy for a while and also thinking abt demons and goths too so I was like COMBINE THE THREE PLEASEE

so here we are: Demon goth! Bakugou general headcanons

Hope you like it sweets <3

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WARNING: like really hot demon goth baku you might burn sweetie ⚠️

- Demon Bakugou is not a person you should mess with. Unless you want him to literally suck the soul outta you, I think you should try to become freinds with him lol

- he's a drummer for the band DEMON KINGS and he's one of the most popular band members in the group (cuz he looks fucking hot in black-)

- When he first came to earth and joined the band, he didn't really expect the litteral hundreds of girls coming up to him and asking him to bite them. Humans are weird.

- because of everything (meet n greets, shows, meetings, practices, keeping up his human form), he gets tired often enough.

- so, to regain his energy, he transforms back into his human form and cuddles his stuffed duckie that he got the first day he came to earth until he falls asleep <3

- most of the time, he does take peoples souls because they're his energy fuel and if he doesn't get at least two souls down, he cannot keep up his human form

- deep down, he doesn't really want to suck poor peoples souls but he covers that (developing) guilt with fear and pride, saying, "they're just stupid humans, who cares about them?" But he does care.

- surprisingly (not really), he's the only group member who keeps his hygiene in check. (The other group members keep their hygiene in check too, just not as well as Bakugou) With all of that yelling and shows and bodies, you're sure to be gross and sweaty. He lowkey hates when he's around his other group members and they (still) smell like dog shit like can you not smell yourself????

- one thing he didn’t expect when he came to earth was how godamn good crepes are! He orders trays of crepes and eats them in two seconds like what do these puny humans put in this shit??? Drugs??

- when he's in his trailer after shows, he likes to treat himself to a small spa- that means face masks, skin care routines, nail trimmings, horn filing, the works. He can't look this good just by doing nothing. Usually Rupauls Drag Race is on his TV too because he likes their makeup looks and takes inspiration from it.

- most of the outfits he puts together for shows and outings are bought from small businesses because tbh branded clothing looks lowkey ugly and totally don't match with his style (also he just really likes to support small businesses but he would never say that out loud)

- he left hell because in his words it was,"getting boring as fuck and I want to explore and dominate the human world"

- thats only partly true. He DID get quite bored down there, torturing poor souls and judging the damned but deep down, he felt like he didn't belong there. A small part of him didn't like that these people were being tortured. He didn't like that he could dictate whether or not a person deserves a good or bad afterlife. So he left.

- he doesn't know what to do when he's on earth, but if banging on an instrument makes people happy, then I guess that could appease me enough.

-it makes him super happy on the inside :)