#also the tabaxi is <3 i like her <3 shes out of touch cause she was married into nobility but then exiled for the scandal of witchcraft

[puppetlooselystrung]

duality of man is playing a genuinely nice tabaxi divination wizard whos a little out of touch with society and then also playing a fallen aasimar warlock who people either see as this bright sunny summer themed person or this like. awful demonic being. and they will never let you know which one is correct

[coffee-or-murder]

for the Long Questionnaire,

Danya: Appearance 3, Objects 14, and Community 10

Lemon: Objects 11, Food 10, and Mind 12

Zimri: Weather 16, Community 12, and Hobbies 14

Under the cut cause this got a lil wordy lol XD

Danya 👕3. Is there something about your character's appearance that they would change if possible?She used to very badly wish she was a halfling like her adoptive mother instead of a tiefling, but her mother got her off that line of thinking fast. Now she sometimes wishes she was a bit shorter. Perhaps she��d be less scary to children if she was smaller?

📦14. Is there an item your character is embarrassed they own or want? She loves sheep. So much. Everytime something sheep shaped catches her eye she has an awful habit of snapping it up, claiming it’s for her niece, and then putting it on a little knick knack shelf in her private study. She would rather die than let anyone outside of her family know she has a large sheep plush she sleeps with.

🤝10. Is there a habit your character has that they learned from someone else? Danya picked up the habit of looping her tail around people she’s protective of from an older tabaxi uncle who worked as her mother’s guard and assistant in the courts. When her mother was in session he would stand beside her and back half a step, flick his tail behind her, and scan the room while she spoke. Danya does it now without really thinking about it or where it came from! Soon as someone she cares about stands next to her her tail just curls around them. Doesn’t touch them necessarily, but it is hovering pretty close.

Lemon 📦11. What might an acquaintance think is a good gift for your character? I think most people would look at this lil baker/healer/reader/Nerd and assume a good safe choice of gift is food or a book on arcana or cooking! They would be correct, but Lemon is also the easiest person to get gifts for. She’s just excited someone thought about her enough to give her a gift.

🍽️10. What is a childhood meal your character cherishes? Jambalaya! The spicy kind. Her uncle Benji would make it for her on her birthday sometimes. She doesn’t especially like it more then other foods, but she has very very fond memories of eating it with her little cousins and Benji and feeling like that was what a family unit should feel like. The downside is no jambalaya will taste the same as her uncles, so she’ll always been comparing it and finding it lacking.

💓12. Is your character more likely to give advice or seek it? Honestly! She would ask more people for advice if she was less worried about them lol. Lemon does what she calls a check in with the party members who seem to be having it the roughest, and those sometimes end up as advice sessions when she meant for them to be comfort check in sessions instead. If she has a conundrum she’s more likely to seek out the answer in a book then a person, not because she doesn’t value the others opinions but because she doesn’t want to be a burden. Once she’s certain she isn’t a burden she’s more likely to ask for advice more directly.

Zimri 🌤️16. What celestial body would interest your character the most? Zimri is more concerned with what’s in front of her, and worth something, but she does like looking at the stars. She and Prem used to lay out and he’d point out different constellations from his books for her, and sometimes she stargazes just to see what she can remember him showing her. The stars are different where she is now though.

🤝12. How would your character react to being put in a position of leadership? With a frown and a delicate huff. She’ll do it, but you won’t like her choices or her methods. Zimri is great at talking people up, getting them to go along with what she’s feeding them, but she’s a bit too focused on her people to always make the most…..altruistic decisions.

🎲14. What is your character’s opinion on cheating in games? If you’re going to cheat, do it well enough you don’t get caught, and don’t cheat in games against children. That’s just foolish and cruel. She’s always a little impressed by people's methods of cheating, as long as it’s clever.

[grayintogreen]

So I was thinking about the tombtakers as an adventuring party tactically and so like we have

Lucien- Flavorful Dex based damage dealer with fun ways to fuck up and with your enemies (I'm doing him without Nonagon rabies cause I want to.)

Cree aka the Mvp- the healer in a group of bloodhunters, need I say more? The answer is yes, not only does she have the Clerics normal spells, her Blood domain gives her some funky damage dealing/Mindfucking abilities And Martial weapons so she can also kick up and personal ass if needed.

Zoran- He's you're Strength Damage Dealing Tank. Hit's hard and takes hits.

Otis-You're ranged fighter with A little Warlock Flair. Everybody hates them but with the lack of other ranged attacks and their ability to force enemies into melee range with the rest of the pack They're useful (unfortunately)

Tyffial-Sneaky underestimated rogue until she's stabbled you in the back while you're running from Zoran:)

So that was my analysis BUT then I was like comparing them with the M9 and it hit me

You know who they need?

CALEB (Which made my Lucigast/Lucreegast shipper heart sing but listen)

They don't have anyone with large AOE Damage plus just massive damage in general, if Cree were to go down then they don't have any way to bring her back (Transmuter Stone), We've seen the TTs lack utility spells which Caleb has, also things like Haste, Polymorph and Enlarge/Reduce could really empower the melee fighters. Plus his defensive capabilities with things like the mansion, the dome, the alarm wire, Identify, Detect Magic.

In conclusion

The Tombtakers may hate Wizards, but they could sure use this one.🖤💜🧡

Cree does actually have utility spells! Haste/Slow are part of her domain spell list and I think she casts Slow during the Neintakers Battle, but beyond that you are absolutely correct. Also I'm continuously torn between being happy the Nein didn't have to deal with it and sad that Cree's piss poor init and being stunned for 1/3 of her rounds in the Neintkers fight mean we've barely seen her at her peak tactical.

Cree is very clearly a Field Medic/Buff type cleric like Caduceus is- she has high level damage spells (Blight, Harm, Firestorm), but it looks like her spell range leans towards utility, given what we've seen of her + what Blood Cleric Domain spells are. Add her Cape of the Mountebank and her tabaxi speed and basically she's the Cad/Fjord of the team. (Also she has Dominate Person ON TOP of Blood Puppet, like holy shit. You're not messing with her on a good day.)

My point, and I do have one, is that her tool kit meshes really well with Caleb's, actually! Hell, one could argue that she's a one-woman defense against ANYONE harming her crew between Dominate Person, Hold Monster, Dimension Door, Stoneskin, and again those are just her domain spells + her magical item). The Nein got LUCKY. Throw Caleb adding Polymorph to anyone who's close to going down to soak up extra damage and you're golden.

And then we have Lucien (and honestly any of the blood hunters- Brand of Tethering isn't specific to Ghostslayers) and Otis who can keep people from going anywhere. Brand of Tethering keeps any wayward magic users from teleporting and Grasp of Hadar brings people back into range and this is a fine tactic when keeping melee fighters from running or magic users from teleporting, but if you've got a bunch of archers or magic-users on a hill somewhere (or A FUCKING DRAGON), your high melee damage output isn't going to matter, and Grasp of Hadar only works on one person at a time.

(Sidebar: this is why I never believed Dagen and the Kryn rangers were in that much danger- The Tombtakers aren't built for large ranged combat threats. There was NO WAY they could have taken all of them. Even Lucien's single damage-dealing Nonagon power is touch-based.)

The only downside is that if you DO consider Lucien's Nonagon abilities, the whole system is thrown out of whack and this is probably one of the only reasons the Nein got away- these idiots can't see the cone either and Lucien doesn't know how to signal or account for the cone's presence and not fuck up his magic users. (This is also my biggest argument for "Lucien has only been the Nonagon for about a year before he died," because any longer and you'd think they would have had a system even being two years out of practice.)

But take that out of the equation and DEAR GOD, they need a fucking AoE machine like Caleb who can fuck up the battlefield or they'll get their asses SLAUGHTERED by ranged fighters and magic-users. These are people who are best equipped for fighting monsters, which, uh, makes sense. That's what Blood Hunters DO.

Caleb though? Caleb can and will fuck up anything if he has to ON TOP of backing up Cree's defensive position with escape routes. The Tombtakers in earthquake weather are virtually unstoppable except where Lucien's cone fuckery detracts from their competence. Always funny when the most powerful weapon in your arsenal is also your biggest nerf.

(second sidebar- Caleb has a decent wisdom score, which I'm not sure any of the Tombtakers, barring Cree, have, which is a whole other thing. Wizard curiosity might wreck that wisdom score, but it will at least help you not fuck up your survival checks.)

(third sidebar, which is basically a preview for another earthquake weather fic, because I have Thoughts about this. Can you imagine Caleb polymorphing any of these people. Zoran would probably be so glad to be a mammoth or a fucking T-Rex and Lucien seemed to enjoy the cat polymorph. I bet he'd enjoy being, like, a sabretooth tiger or a direwolf or something EVEN MORE. Let him be a murder creacher.)

[defilerwyrm]

For the ask meme: burning bright, anything about the parts at the table with the Nein. You write their banter so well!

FIC SPOILERS BELOW!

Burning Bright on AO3

The entire dinner scene hit me like a bolt of lightning while I was working on this fic. It started with Beau’s outburst, and then Veth’s willful denial and subsequent fit, and I built the two scenes around that.

Diving into particulars….

“Uhm,” he said, intelligently, but quickly recovered and flashed his friends a smile. “It is most impressive. Certainly a step up from a tiny hut.”

A direct reference to the name of the spell. Originally it was Leomund’s tiny hut. I have no clue why in 5e Wizards decided to 86 the attribution names on so many spells like Otiluke’s resilient sphere and Tasha’s hideous laughter. Things like that always made me curious about the (what I assume were) PCs the spells were named after. I had thought maybe it was because the characters who diegetically invented them were specific to one setting, but in that case I don’t know why Bigby’s hand is still Bigby’s but Evard’s black tentacles are no longer Evard’s. I don’t like it. As an aside, Widowgast’s Nascent Nein-Sided Tower is, mechanically speaking, Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion. Anyway. Moving on!

It was delectable that Caleb wanted to impress him.

This boy hungry and not just for soup

Flustered, Essek tried to fend them off, but it was Caleb that did him in. It was always Caleb. The human took a large roll from his own plate, broke it in half, and offered one of these parts to Essek, who tried his best not to choke.

“You need to keep your strength up, ja?” Caleb implored him quietly.

The steady hand that accepted was a point of pride because it very much wanted to quake. The Kryn weren’t bread people, but...did he have any idea what this gesture would mean in Rosohna? Any inkling at all?

This is another one of those places where I delight in playing to cultural differences. What I’d had in mind for what that gesture—breaking food into two pieces and offering half to someone—WOULD mean in Rosohna was a bit nebulous, as I like to keep the reader guessing a bit and let their imagination fill in the blanks; but my rough idea was that it’s a courting gesture that signifies “I can and will provide for you, even if it means less for me.” An expression of selfless caregiving and an offer of partnership. Not wholly unlike a bird bringing food to a prospective mate.

And actually it’s a little bit funny coming from Caleb, who has fuck-all to his name but his name, when Essek is a rich bitch who answers directly to the Bright Queen.

Not that he was about to say it out loud, but he was a quick convert to this whole bread thing. To say that it won him over would be an understatement. That seemed to be a recurring theme here.

I imagine if I’d grown up never really eating bread and was introduced to it in adulthood I’d be like “Where have you BEEN all my life?!” But also: the bread is friendship, the bread is the Mighty Nein, the bread is communion in the spirit of sharing rather than politics and appearances and power plays—things he thought he was fine without until they were foisted upon him.

Somewhere in the course of the multiple conversations going on at one time, Jester got an Idea, as she was prone to doing. He became increasingly aware of her talking about kissing, of all things, and this culminated in her shouting above the din, cheeks flushed purple though he hadn’t seen her touch any wine: “I have an idea you guys! Why don’t we all go around and say how many people we’ve kissed?”

Jester is the most wonderfully convenient deus ex machina if you ever need to insert an awkward or embarrassing conversation among the Mighty Nein, because this is exactly the sort of shit she would do.

Jester leaped up and slammed her hands onto the table. “Caduceus you’ve never been kissed?! That’s so sad!”

The firbolg was unfazed. He merely shrugged and said, “It hasn’t come up and I haven’t gone looking. Not something I’ve ever thought about, really.”

Jester’s tail lashed back and forth behind her like an overstimulated cat. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

Fjord went a bit wild-eyed at this. Caduceus smiled gently and said, “No thank you.”

Three things about this part:

1) Jester’s tail doesn’t get NEARLY enough mention in fic! If I’m playing (or writing) a character with a tail you can be damn sure you’re gonna know what it’s doing! Makes me wanna play a tabaxi tbqh.

2) Cad’s “No thank you” is the sum total of his sexuality, lol. Jester was raised in a pretty highly sexualized setting, didn’t really get out much before she fled Nicodranas, and can be pretty naïve, so she doesn’t really get the whole aroace thing; but it never crosses Cad’s mind that this would be “abnormal“ or ”sad” in any way—it causes him no distress, as it shouldn’t. This is yet another “Same planet, different worlds” moment.

3) Fjord is physically restraining himself from yelling “JESTER WHAT THE FUCK” lmao

Veth kept picking at it. “So you’re um. You know. Into the fellas?”

Beau snorted. “I could’a told you that months ago.”

“Yeah you could’a!” Veth pouted with a self-conscious curl to her shoulders.

I saw a comment on Tiktok that said Veth was being borderline homophobic, but that wasn’t my intent! It’s just that she inherited a certain blind spot for male queerness from her player, and as hard as she’d been trying to encourage Caleb to hook back up with his female ex, it never occurred to her that he had a male ex, too—and given that they’ve been so close for so long, she’s feeling pretty self-conscious about the fact that she never figured out that Caleb is bisexual in all that time, as well as kind of upset that no one—Caleb especially—told her. She’s having a moment of “Why didn’t I know this? Did you think it was going to change things between us? Did I make you feel unsafe?” And also a little bit of “Okay well, now I have to get him to hook up with TWO people AT ONCE because my boy deserves threesomes 😤”

Jester went goggle-eyed at him. “You’ve only been with one person?” she exclaimed. “But you’re like a hundred years old! And very handsome. I would have thought you’d get like, all the ladies.”

Ladies. Right.

Veth might not be the only one with a certain blind spot.

Beau gave her a funny look, snorting. “I dunno, he seems like the kinda guy who turns down those offers left and right.”

..…But Beau’s got his number, for more than one reason. She’s got super gaydar, for one, and has him pegged as the type who’s very choosy about his partners (also mind you, this was before demi!Essek was canonized by WoG, so I was still rolling with my hc that Essek got around when he felt like it).

The uproar was instantaneous. Everyone—almost everyone—started talking or shouting at once. Beau’s voice rang out among the din with, “HOLY SHIT ESSEK FUCKS.” Strangely pleased with himself, he downed the rest of his wine in one gulp and spent the next few minutes fending off increasingly prying, personal questions until the Nein grew bored with his lack of answers and someone changed the subject.

There it is, the line that spawned two entire scenes!

He was not a war mage, but he was experienced and wily, and he was damned good at what he did, and as long as there was breath left in his body, the Mighty Nein would not fall here.

Joke’s on me, motherfucker literally has the War Caster feat -_-

But like in my defense, that’s just what it’s called in the book. The feat just means that you have either the training or experience to cast well during a fight, which I see as not necessarily the same thing as a war mage, which was my way of saying an arcane caster who is a soldier.

Veth stared at her blankly as if willing herself not to understand. “Caleb? With who?”

She breathed steadily. “...Essek. Caleb and Essek.”

Beside her, Jester squealed and brought her fists to her face.

Veth was less enthused. “WHAT.”

Beau’s mental commentary here is dead on. Veth still doesn’t really trust Essek at this point and has been pretty vocal about that…despite being the one to declare him part of the Mighty Nein? Eh, she’s allowed to have complicated feelings on the guy, all things considered. But I find it kind of comical and very Veth (and very Sam) for her to be all full of zest for trying to get Caleb back together with the frigging Volstrucker who is actively working for his abuser and worst enemy but balk at him hooking up with Essek.

Jester “explained” in a delighted yell: “Caleb and Essek are gonna fuuuuuuck!”

I don’t know, is this too unsubtle to call foreshadowing? The line flowed naturally in the dialogue, but it’s also letting the reader know exactly what they’re in for next, lol.

“...He’s going to break that little elf twink, you know,” Veth said, sounding distant. Seemed she was having some difficulty processing. Not too surprising, considering how adamant she was about wanting their wizard to hook back up with his old flame, the fucking Volstrucker. “We’ve all seen his dick.”

This was 100% taken from Sam’s little throwaway line “It’s above-average” but it turned out to serve two purposes other than reminding the reader that all of these people have seen Caleb naked:

1) It’s yet another thing Veth thinks she understands about him but doesn’t. Caleb’s a top like Dalmatians are purple and if you disagree then I respect your right to be incorrect ;)

2) That said, it is, in fact, foreshadowing for the sequel, in which Essek experiences a great deal of frustration. (I haven’t touched the damn thing in weeks, feels like; I’ve been too busy with work, being exhausted from work, and being in a tizzy about my upcoming surgery.)

Fjord blurted out, “I’ll join you.”

Poor Fjord has had such an uncomfortable night!

Hoo boy that was a lot. Thanks for the ask, this was really fun!! And sorry it took so long; I work Saturday nights and things got really busy for a bit there.

[tearablemonsters]

A little NPC journal i started and let an AI finish. I did the first three days and it did the rest.

Go try it out at https://app.inferkit.com/demo

Day 1: We set out upon our journey. With us are six halflings, a half orc, three humans and a tabaxi aside from myself and my firbolg wife. We hope to travel safely and see no dragons.

Day 2: our journey was interrupted by a company of Hobgoblin. They wielded their swords and shook their spears, but let us leave in peace with a small tribute of gold and one horse. Our cargo was untouched.

Day 3: More travel. Once we made camp a dwarven cleric came to share our fire. In gratitude he healed my gout which has been ailing me for some weeks. He said a prayer and touched my feet with hands that glowed like sunlight and the pain was gone. I must remember to say a prayer to Moradin in thanks when next we pass one of his temples.

Day 4: Now I had always thought goblins were male, but here among the ruins of a dwarven watchtower, I met my first female goblin. She spoke ill of her people and the dreams of Harlon Ironfist that she saw as a young child. In truth she was more fearful of losing her children to Ironfist's cruelty than she was of the war he brought upon her people.

Day 5: For some reason as we neared the flatlands, the orcs along our trail became hostile. They began to bay and shout as we came, before moving into our path and attacking. When I slew the first two they were afraid of my anger. The rest fled into the woods and we continued on our way, narrowly avoiding a few encounters with enraged wild boars.

Day 6: a dwarven ranger approached us, sporting a steel plate over his face to protect him from the stench of the halflings and goblin who had toiled long in our company. He asked that we accompany him on an expedition against a group of orcs. He had little to offer us except the promise of weapons and provisions. We set out to see if this new fellow was truthful and he was.

We discovered that they were bandits and killed all but one of them. After having a look through their treasure, we discovered they were harboring Harlon Ironfist, but he was more interested in his women and gold than in fighting for his freedom. After we killed Ironfist, we left them with enough food and shelter to live until the next spring, and returned to the farmstead.

My husband rejoined us after a few days rest and we set off again.

Day 7: We soon came to the outskirts of the forest and were greeted by five human warriors. They asked that we accompany them on an expedition against a tribe of elves. We had heard of elves raiding human settlements and causing great harm, so we agreed to go.

Day 8: We discovered an elven camp and slew all but one. We were astonished to learn that he was of the same race as us. As we rode to the village, we noticed more of the same… Âgulch, yew trees, tall grass, etc. We soon learned that the elves worshipped the Holy Mother, and only used trees and grass as their sacred offerings. Our rescue was not meant to be.

We soon found ourselves pursued by a large number of elves with bows and arrows and began to retreat, but we were too late. We were forced to slaughter the elf on our trail and I would not have it done again. We made for the temple of the Holy Mother and found it unguarded. There we found several other lone elves, but they were all slain as well. I wondered what our saviors would have us do next.

Day 9: We rode back to the farmstead and retrieved our horses and provisions, when one of the soldiers who pursued us approached. He said that the holy mother had permitted us to take what we wanted from the camp, but no one was to touch the valuable weapons. He also said that we had killed thousands of elves, and that if we caused more trouble than necessary, they would make us pay for the damage caused.

Day 10: We rode to the very edge of the forest and were once again greeted by the five human warriors. They were divided between the two armies and were no longer actively involved, but only to observe.

We learned that the two leaders, the human and the elven, were long time rivals and the Holy Mother had no intention of allowing the orc army to engage the human and elf ones, but had set a certain date and the attack was already underway.

The human army had set up camp about a mile from the orc and elf camp. We camped nearby to keep watch.

Day 11: As the sun came up I saw three enormous trolls standing atop a hillock. They were some distance away from us, but I would not have to worry about that for long. I heard them speak and one of them told the others that there was a great gathering of their people, and the elves were joining them. They had seen several elf children being sent off to the human camp.

Day 12: The troll approached my husband and spoke in his own language, but I knew what he was saying. He told my husband that he was to kill my husband for treason. My husband did not deny it, and I could see the confusion in his eyes. He had never seen the orc army or their leader, so I knew he had not revealed this to the humans.

The troll demanded my husband’s life, but I stood before him and told the troll that he had chosen the wrong man. He told me that I should have been their leader, and that he had a better chance of escaping than my husband. He then charged at my husband, but fortunately my husband was skilled at disarming his enemy. The other troll was quick to try and join in the fight, but was quickly cut down.

I felt that my husband had proven himself worthy of my trust and it gave me great relief to know that he was still alive and that I was now free.

Day 13: A day that changed my life forever.

The night before we were attacked by orcs, we were visited by a witch, a fairy, and a sprite. They had been observing our camp and since my husband is one of the few who can speak the fairy language, he quickly learned it. He also learned to wield the fairy’s magic wand, a magic wand that could change the appearance of anything it touched, and with a little luck, with the exception of unicorns and dwarves. These three people told us that the orcs had been approaching the camp for several days, with the intent of cutting us off from our allies and forcing us to take sides. They had seen the orc and elf armies gathering in preparation for the attack. I was initially furious that they were not in our camp to warn us, but once again I quickly understood their logic. If they were afraid that the elves would try to take the humans and orcs over, then they were afraid of losing all their resources.

The fairy told me that she knew of a spirit that I could call upon to help me and the others in the camp. The fairy gave us each an incantation to help us through the battle. While I waited for the spirits to arrive, the elf and orc armies engaged one another.

We were attacked by several thousands of orcs. With the aid of the fairy, and our magic wand, my husband and I charged at the front of our camp and joined the elf army, hoping to secure our reinforcements before the orc army attacked.

While we fought, I had the fairy conjure several unicorns and dwarves to our aid. The fairy and I were a great team. She cast a spell that turned our ponies into mules and I cast a spell to turn the mules into paladins. I was proud of the way that my husband and I worked together. He may not be a mage, but he was an incredible soldier.

With the help of the magical unicorns and dwarves, we managed to turn the tide of the battle. The elves and dwarves, helped us rout the orcs. Many of the orcs were killed, and many of the elven archers were able to take shelter in the buildings we had built for protection. Some orcs managed to flee from the battlefield. We were greatly relieved.

We then had the fairy conjure all of the elf children, and then the fairy was given the task of teleporting the orcs and elves into the mountains and any surrounding woods. She then disappeared into the forest, presumably to help her people.

Day 14: I do not know how long I slept after I awoke, but I woke up to see a vision of the fairy. She had come to thank me for helping her people. She told me that if we had not sided with the elves and the other races, the orc’s army would have come to our village and killed everyone. There would be no one left to look after my son. I know that there is a possibility that the elves are trying to take over, but I have not