#also the sheer talent of these authors is incredible

[wordstome]

Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

[musette22]

I know this has been said so many times in so many different ways, and I have nothing new to add, really. But I am going to say it anyway, because I am just so ridiculously grateful for fanfiction writers. There are innumerable fanfics out there - incredible, mind-blowing stories that are all shared with us for free. Written out of a pure, profound love for existing stories and characters, a need to know them better, explore them, add to them, do something with them the source material never dared. To make ourselves and others feel better, sometimes worse, but mostly just to make us feel.

And don't get me started on the quality of so much of the fanfiction out there. I know talent is an debatable term, but for want of a better one: the sheer talent and dedication of so many of these authors, most of whom have actual, real life jobs and families and other responsibilities, is just astounding. So many ideas, so many beautiful words, so much creativity. As a fanfiction writer myself, I know that it can sometimes be challenging to be creative, to find time and energy to write, when life is just. So much. And yet the love I have for these characters just leaves me desperately wanting to make time and energy to tell the stories I want to tell. Writing fanfiction is a hobby, yes, but for many people, it's also more than a hobby. It's a passion, a deeply rooted desire, even a community.

As a reader, too, I know how incredibly valuable and important these stories can be. I've spent the past few days doing nothing but devouring fic because I've been feeling too crummy to do anything else, and it's been an absolute blessing. Every fic I read was more amazing than the last. They all made me cry, laugh, think, yearn, and just feel so much better. So, I know this has been said many times before, but I just had to tell you again how much I love you, fanfiction writers. Love you with my whole entire, sappy, zero-chill heart.

Thank you for everything you do, all the hours, the blood, sweat and tears, the love you put into your stories, and thank you for sharing them. For just handing them over and releasing them into our custody once they're done, for all of us to read and enjoy, expecting nothing in return but some kudos and comments. That's incredible, ok? You're all incredible, whether your stories are 'popular' or not. So many people would be utterly bereft without you and your efforts, and I just needed to tell you again how appreciated you are ♥️

[warping-realities]

Carmichael Corporation - The Interviews (by @dumb-and-jocked)

It's no secret to anyone who follows me that I'm a big fan of the work of two authors @callmecallmecrazy and dumb-and-jocked. And here we have the result of one being inspired by the other's work, something I also did in my own work. I feel fulfilled in making images for the next stories, starting with this one.

“Can you guys believe we actually made it?” Elijah exclaimed proudly. Even as the tallest of the trio at 6’7, he had to arch his back to see the top of the skyscraper in front of him. Elijah had worked hard to get his degree in business, so the prospect in front of him made him feel like he was touching the finish line. He had applied for an interning position in the financial department, and the company had been so impressed with his application that they had set up an interview immediately.

“I will admit, it is pretty incredible,” Dylan added. He was in the middle of the three, having a little over average height at 5’11 and pretty good muscular tone. What really stood out about him though was his voice, for it was a powerful bass that could shake concrete walls and was completely recognizable at any event. He too had applied for an interning position in the financial department, creating a little friendly rivalry between the two.

“I’m still surprised we all made it.” Although Joe was almost a foot shorter than the giant Elijah at 5’7, he made up for his height in sheer body mass. Back in college, he had been the star wrestler of the college, giving him a body packed with pure strength and flesh. One wouldn’t be able to guess it, but Joe was also skilled in another area: accounting. He was so talented in fact that he had actually been scouted out by the company.

“I guess we should head in,” Elijah stated, making his way forward slowly. “If we actually want to work at the Carmichael Corporation, we’ll have to ace these interviews.”

“Oh yeah, like that’ll be hard,” Dylan jeered as he walked through a set of grand swinging doors. “My record is pretty well stacked. I think I have the best chance out of the three of us for this position.”

“Dude, I’m going for accounting.” Joe gave a rough eye roll, before walking off to notify the secretary of their presence. 

“And like I have any competition,” Elijah scoffed as Dylan and himself took a seat on a nearby bench. “Once they see that my name was on the Dean’s List every semester, I’ll get in for sure.”

“You only got that because you were the captain of the basketball team,” Dylan mocked.

“Did not,” Elijah hurled back.

“Did too!” Dylan retorted.

“You understand that I actually worked for those grades, right?” Elijah felt himself get heated as his muscles grew tense.

“Oh you worked for them alright,” Dylan mumbled. “On your knees.”

“Excuse me, bro?!”

“You heard what I said, coc-”

“Gentlemen!”

A sharply dressed male was staring down at the two bickering companions. The man was furiously tapping a pen against his clipboard, obviously irritated. Standing tall in front of the two, he was wrapped up in a gray 3-piece suit with a checkered tie that fit well against his sculpted body. His face showed that although he acted superior, he had to be a similar age to the two young men cowering below him. 

“My name is Yale Stockton Rockefeller IV, and I am one of the Accounting Managers here at the Carmichael Corporation,” he began pompously, effortlessly taking control of the situation. “If you want to work here at the Carmichael Corporation, the first concept you must learn is respect and decency to and in the workplace.”

“Sorry,” Dylan and Elijah replied in unison, deeply embarrassed and annoyed by the stuck-up prick.

“Now, I assume I will be performing one of your interviews today,” Yale took a moment to look at his clipboard. “Is one of you Joseph Koroll?”

“That’s me.” Joe appeared from behind Yale, surprising the other man a little bit. After checking in, Joe had quickly run to the bathroom to wash his face, finding he had accidentally missed a few hairs when he had shaved this morning. Not noticeable, just a little itchy.

“Exemplary,” Yale responded, causing Joe to give the other two looks that said What’s with this guy?

“Let us make our way to a correspondent room, we have a lot to cover in little time.” Before Joe could comprehend what Yale had said, the other man was already walking towards an elevator. Joe quickly scurried along, waving to his pals before he was lifted up.

“How do you think he’ll do?” Dylan pondered.

“Better than the two of us so far,” Elijah pouted.

— —

“Joseph Koroll.”

“Yes?”

Yale sat straight at his desk, constantly giving off an ill-tempered glare as he peered back and forth between Joe and Joe’s resumé. What made it even more intense was that Yale’s eyes had an oddly captivating color to them. The two sat in a small conference room on the 15th floor overlooking a part of the city below. Joe didn’t feel that nervous--he actually felt quite confident--but the giant yellow chair he sat in made him seem much smaller than he actually was. Even for his muscular figure, he barely filled half the seat, and his head did not make it anywhere near the top. Not only that, but the chair was placed in the center of the room, giving him more attention than he needed.

“I despise that I must admit it,” Yale sighed. “but your experience and credentials are rather splendid.”

“Thank you?” Joe replied back, a little confused.

“If you want to be a part of the Carmichael Corporation however, there are some aspects that must be changed or enhanced.”

“I understand.”

“The Carmichael Corporation is not some urban start-up with jeans and herbal teas.  This is a very demanding industry, one that expects all employees to be obedient and loyal.”

“Of course,” Joe nodded along. “That would make sense.”

“I do not know or care what went on at your last position, but if you want to succeed in this company, it is imperative that orders from a superior be followed. Would you be okay with this level of obedience?”

“Yes sir.” Joe slyly added in the title, sensing he had to accept a power shift.

“That is more appropriate,” Yale smiled. “Now, let us first address the things that need to be changed to be hired. Your attire is the most noticeable facet, as it is unsightly to say in the kindest of terms.”

“Unsightly?” Joe was surprised, finding his red sweater and black slacks quite refined before making eye contact with Yale.

“And that is the kindest of words,” Yale snickered back. “If you want to succeed, you will need to learn how to dress like a man. Let me read you a small excerpt from the company handbook.”

Yale stuck a hand into his bag and pulled out the largest book Joe had ever seen. It had to be at least 1000 pages, yet Yale had no trouble finding the exact description he was looking for.

“Blazers are classic items that work for semi-formal occasions and casual office places. Even as a man transitions to daily suits, a blazer will always have a place at a garden party or fraternity alumni event. Ties and bowties are a delightful way to add color to an outfit. Business attire defaults to long ties, and more conservative workplaces require more conservative choices. Consider emulating the attire of your superiors.”

Yale continued, “Supports should be practical and supportive. Belts are fine for casual outings; however, braces are more desirable for suiting, both for support and style as it allows a more traditional and flattering cut. Similarly, undergarments should provide support and coverage. Briefs are the most appropriate underwear choice, as it provides support without being extraneous. It is also compatible with tennis and golf; sports you will be expected to participate in and the only sports you will be allowed to play.”

Yale paused and took a deep breath. Once he had finished gathering himself, he looked over at Joe and gleamed with satisfaction. “I believe it is secure to say that you have already anticipated these particular needs of the company. Am I assuming correctly?”

“Yes sir,” Joe quickly replied. He had made sure to dress in one of his casual outfits today, something comfortable yet reputable. Along with a navy blazer that had been hung on the door, Joe had paired his classic navy polka-dotted tie with a blue button-up and wool dress pants. Sheer socks silently encased his Size 11 feet inside expensive-looking Oxfords, while two bright, yellow suspenders and a hefty watch worked as the statement pieces. He’d also made sure to shave his beard into a beautiful stubble, something that really made him seem both masculine and well-kept. Joe had originally been concerned that the look was a little too casual, but the fact that his superior had noticed it brought a smile to his lips.

“Superb,” Yale acknowledged. “If you are hired here, you will be expected to meet a certain standard of fitness.”

Yale once again examined Joe before meeting eyes, causing Joe to respond with a smug look.

“Interpreting what I have seen and read, I suspect you will be engaging in a routine similar to the one when you were in varsity golf?”

“Very similar, indeed.” Joe resituated himself in the chair, sitting a little straighter to truly show off his 6’1 height. His tight clothing did an impeccable job showcasing his muscular build, which wasn’t as massive as a bodybuilder’s but definitely imposing. He kicked up one of his Size 14 feet onto his knee, knowing he could now get a little more comfortable.

“You will also need to adapt to our image of masculinity, Joe. This is something that has an adjusting definition for everyone here at the Carmichael Corporation. Do you understand what I am referring to?”

“Not exactly, sir.”

“To explain further,” Yale eyes had a piercing gleam to them. “the duty of a man is to understand that when lacking in some areas of presence, he must identify other ways to consume the devoid territory. Men are meant to take up a certain amount of space, no matter their stature. This does seem appropriate, correct?”

“Yes sir.” Joe completely interpreted what Yale was referring to. It was only natural that some men had larger presences than others, so it was Joe’s duty to match that same standard. Readjusting in his seat once more, Joe felt his wide, plump bottom jiggling about, consuming the entirety of the extra wide seat. He bagged his pants as he sat, causing the crotch of his pants to ride up and give him a distinct moose knuckle. The fluid movement accidentally made him hard, but Joe knew no one would be able to see his 4 inches.

“Now, I believe the next issue is your tone and speech.” Yale pulled out his handbook once more and flipped to another random page.

“Our manual refers to multiple accessible forms of dialogue, but you will be working with men of all ages from assets and banking within accounting. Therefore, it would be best if you learned how to speak slower and adapt your vocabulary to something better cultivated.”

“Why would that help me exactly?” Joe questioned.

Yale, once again annoyed by Joe’s indecency, glared directly at him before explaining. “It will deepen your voice and give you more presence, which will be extremely helpful in business. You will also be able to use a fuller, more masculine tone--much like my own. I expect that is what you desire?”

“Yes sir.” The words spilled out in nearly double the time they had before. Joe’s tongue felt heavy as he spoke as every syllable seemed to require extra effort to spit out.

“Finally, if you aspire to work at the Carmichael Corporation, it is imperative that you adjust your title.” Yale moved along calmly, not at all caring about Joe’s confusion. “Joe is a very informal name. Lazy and lackadaisical. It sets you up casually in a professional world, agree with me?”

“I guess I don’t know…” Joe muttered, his voice sluggish and insensitive.

“In business, you know how important it is to give the right impression. The men in these industries expect a certain standard of professionality, even in your title. And you must give yourself every possible advantage.”

“Yes, of course sir,” Joe monotoned.

“Professionally, I think you should introduce yourself as your full name, John Millard Koroll.”

“I apologize for the inconvenience, but that is not-”

“And where is your surname from?” Yale interrupted. “Is it German?” 

“No, it is most certainly-”

“Make it German. It will give you a much more asserting presence. And I reckon a suffix would add some competency as well. From now on, we shall refer to each other by our full names to emulate what the atmosphere is like here at the Carmichael Corporation.”

Joe was still at a loss over the last few comments. He was starting to feel a little panicked over the thought of losing his own identity to the corporate world, but before he could think any further on the topic, Yale stepped in.

“That will work for you, will it not,” Yale stood up from his chair and extended a hand, making sure to share a mutual gaze with Joe. “John Millard Koehler III?”

“By all means, Yale Stockton Rockefeller IV.” John Millard’s thick, slow voice drawled out. He got out of his own seat and shook Yale’s hand in a firm motion.

“Splendid!” Yale replied. “Then I can confidently declare that you are precisely what the Carmichael Corporation is scouting for. John Millard Koehler III, you will be starting as early as next week.”

“That is just grand!” John Millard responded cordially. “It is truly an honor, my gratitude, Yale Stockton Rockefeller IV.”

“The honor is all mine, you will be an illustrious addition to our department.” Yale sat back down in his chair and ushered John Millard to do the same. “Before I dismiss you, let us discuss acquisitions and the baseline salary. Here at the Carmichael Corporation, we want to make sure that you can ‘be audit you can be’.”

The two chortled merrily at the accounting joke before getting back to business, knowing they had a prosperous future ahead.

— —

“It’s been almost an hour,” Elijah exhaled. “Shouldn’t Joe be done with his interview by now?” The two other men were still sitting on the same bench, waiting for anyone to come and greet them like Yale had appeared before. Countless businessmen had passed in front of them, but all of them seemed so eager to work that they didn’t recognize the recently-graduated college students.

“I don’t know,” Dylan replied honestly, twisting a lock of his curly mane within his fingers out of boredom. “I mean maybe this is the corporate world and everything takes a little longer than expected.” He then stretched to loosen up his joints, showcasing the body of a former running back for everyone to see.

“Yeah, but how many questions do they have to ask to see if Joe is a good fit or not?”

“Apparently a lot.” Dylan began swinging his legs back and forth like a child on a swing to entertain himself. The Size 13 canvas shoes went to and fro, hypnotizing him more than they should have. Elijah watched on too, somehow entertained by the small amount of movement.

“Ahem.”

The two young men quickly shot up off the bench, standing solid. In front of them was a brawny man between the pair’s heights. He looked to be somewhere around sixty, as displayed by his slicked-back salt-and-pepper hair, prominent jaw, and robust torso. His body was brilliantly exhibited in a multi-layered suit, one that displayed every shade from silver to slate.

“I assume the two of you are here for the hiring process, correct?”

The two men nodded their heads quickly.

“Very good.” The man made a quick glance at Dylan and motioned him to follow. Dylan did just that, giving a thumbs-up to Elijah before disappearing down a hall.

— —

“Dylan Pringle.”

“Yes… sir?”

Dylan watched a small smile creep onto the man’s lips after his little addition. There had been a few minutes of back and forth eye contact from Dylan’s resumé and Dylan himself, but he wasn’t feeling too apprehensive. Although the man seemed extremely uptight, Dylan knew there was nothing in his credentials that wouldn’t seem impressive. Plus, the man had already seemed to take a liking to Dylan, as he had been escorted to an expansive office that Dylan assumed had to be the man’s own. It was simply decorated with a few modern black-and-white pictures and two tables lined with retro leather chairs. There were also a few closets and coat racks holding different suits and other formal wear, probably owned by the man himself.

“I must inform you that the position you have applied for has already been filled.”

The sentence came as a shock to Dylan, causing him to twitch a little in his seat. Dylan was so perplexed that he had to examine the man’s eyes carefully to see if he was telling the truth. He was surprised to discover that they had an oddly charming hue.

“I would regard that as a godsend however, as you were not at all qualified for the position.”

“What do you mean?” Dylan’s bass tone became thundering. “I have everything the job requires... and more!”

“Surely you meant to say 'Sorry Sir, is there another position open?’ as here I thought you were serious about working here at the Carmichael Corporation.”

Dylan was once again caught off-guard.

“Hmm, they told me you were more articulate.” The man made a disappointed grimace before moving on. “I was willing to offer you another position working under me rather than in the financial department as it seems you have no competence in the area. That is generous of me, is it not?”

“Yes, definitely sir.” Dylan was relieved that he still had a chance to work at the Carmichael Corporation, especially after applying for a job he never could have performed.

“Good.” The man walked over to a table and grabbed a rather large book. Dylan was able to catch a quick peek as the man passed by, noticing the pages were lined with questions and guides. Dylan hoped these weren’t all going to be used in the interview for the other position.

“There are a few things you will need to learn quickly if you expect to succeed in this business, do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” Dylan made sure to maintain eye contact to confirm his answer.

“Very good. First, we have a completely reasonable dress code here. I know you may not have expected to wear a suit every day, but it will be required. And by a suit, I expect a minimum of 3 layers in some shape or form.” Dylan cringed in his seat barely, knowing that his black turtleneck and jeans probably didn’t make the cut.

“Sir, are you-” Before Dylan could protest, the man pushed forward.

“I find a certain degree of conformity aids in office morale, is that not fair? I can tell by how you present yourself you also believe this to be true.”

“It is fair, sir.” Dylan agreed. He always made sure to wear multiple articles underneath his blazer, as it made him feel more polished. Even though he was forced to take off his tan blazer at the door, it had allowed him to expose the other garments on his body. These included matching tan pleated pants that graciously showed off his hefty pouch, a white button-up with matching white suspenders that strained heavily against his pecs, and a striped tie that shared the same charcoal color with his wing-tipped derbies. Readjusting his glasses, Dylan waited patiently for the man to continue.

“I believe it is also appropriate to have a strict haircut policy. Your hair is to be cut every two weeks, and I will refer you to my own barber. You will style it neatly and you will use whatever product I chose.”

“Sir, if I may interrupt.”

“No, you may not.” The man glared down on Dylan. “I expect to see comb lines so sharp that even from a mile away a man could tell you know how to use pomade. Understood?”

“Completely, sir.” Dylan felt like this task would be no problem, as he already maintained his hair strictly. Brushing a hand across his scalp, he was delighted to feel his sharp quiff still held stiffly in place with not a single hair sticking out. He also made sure to rub a hand across his jaw, feeling up the sculpted beard contemptuously.

“Now, you recognize that you would not be starting at the top, correct?”

“Yes sir.”

“Meaning that you would have a certain number of superiors, including myself, correct?”

“Yes sir.”

“So to clarify,” the man began, making sure that their eyes met so he could verify. “You would be an inferior male, underneath me and a plethora of other men.”

“Wait, that isn’t-” Dylan’s booming register was somehow once again cut off.

“You will need to present yourself to this position accordingly, but I believe it is fair to say that will not be an issue.”

“That is accurate, Sir,” Dylan replied reverently in a soft, creamy tenor. He understood where he was on the ladder, and how he’d have to act accordingly. Still sitting in his chair comfortably, the 5’7 man brought his legs closer together, allowing the sides of the Size 8 feet to touch. While doing so, Dylan felt his micropenis twitch eagerly inside his tight briefs, sending an excited reaction to the hole between his two jiggly, doughy buttocks.

“You will also be expected to attend to some other needs of mine,” Sir started. “Dry cleaning, note taking, errands, and the like.”

“Of course, Sir.”

“You will be loyal, you will be obedient, and you will be my dedicated servant.”

“Sir,” Dylan’s meek voice began. “What do you-”

“To work and succeed at the Carmichael Corporation,” Sir declared through fiery eyes. “it is imperative that orders from a superior be followed. Understood?”

“Yes Sir.” Dylan was willing to do just about anything that could give him an advantage in business; anything that would make his superiors pleased.

“So with that said,” Sir leaned back in his chair happily, dropping the handbook on the desk and crossing his arms across his chest. “If I were to ask you to, say, change your name, would you do that for me?”

“Yes Sir,” Dylan lied through his teeth. He was willing to do just about anything, but not that.

“Here at the Carmichael Corporation, we like to go by our full titles as they allude to more professional, defined statuses.”

“Absolutely, Sir.”

“Let’s first start with Dylan: just a gross, common name. You agree?”

Dylan didn’t, but the thought of a superior changing his name was suddenly tantalizing.

“Personally, I believe you would be more suited as a Dorrance. And for the surname, well,” Sir chuckled wickedly to himself. “Pringle was never an actual name, just a detrimental snack. You would be much better suited with Peabody. Classic, but preppy, which seems to be the direction you’re taking. Though I believe you should at least be a Junior.”

Before Dylan could fire back a string of arguments, Sir had ascended out of his throne and extended a strong palm.

“Congratulations, Dorrance Rotterham Peabody, Jr.,” Sir seemed very pleased with himself. “You will be a great fit as my new personal assistant.”

“Thank you immensely, Sir!” Dorrance replied, jumping out of his chair in excitement and eagerly shaking the man’s hand. “How soon may I begin to work under you?”

“Right away, boy.” Sir made sure to emphasize the demeaning word. “I have a few outfits I need you to sort through and approve of, as you know my taste quite exquisitely.”

“Of course, Sir.” Dorrance followed Sir to a table covered in sheets displaying different suits and styles. He immediately immersed himself into the work, separating out the preferable blacks, navys, and grays from the disgusting other palettes. This extremely pleased Sir, so much so that he wanted to reward Dorrance with something special. So, Sir gave Dorrance’s butt a big appreciation swat as he strutted away, causing Dorrance’s ample rump to shudder within his pants as he continued his work.

— —

Elijah grimaced, noticing the time on the gigantic clock inside the main lobby had only moved by a minute. The wait had been a lot longer than he had expected, forcing him to cancel an event with friends and a hookup from Grindr. It had been about an hour since Dylan had been taken away to his interview, and almost 2 hours since Joe’s disappearance. He was concerned about what this meant for them, but he was becoming more concerned about what this could’ve possibly meant for himself. Maybe he didn’t have a chance within the Carmichael Corporation. Elijah was beginning to feel as if the employers had completely forgotten him when a young man magically appeared before him, answering his plea.

The man wore a tight fitting suit, seemingly strained at both the broad shoulders and around the crotch.  It was exceptionally subdued, a rather pale black color with a white button-up shirt and a gray tie with a subtle windowpane pattern. He carried a briefcase that looked both rather expensive and rather ordinary. The young man stood ramrod straight, his muscular build hidden by the extremely high rise of his pants, sitting above his belly button just under the rib cage. His powerful jaw--while covered in a little youthful baby fat--spread wide and hung low, giving his face a square, lantern shape. 

“Elijah Grove.”

“Yes?”

“I assume you are the last respondent today?” His voice was slow and deep, catching Elijah off guard.

“I guess?”

“Do you guess or do you know?” The young man seemed to get rather disgusted by Elijah’s uncertainty. “If you expect to succeed at the Carmichael Corporation, you are going to have to know.”

“I-” Elijah was almost sure he saw the young man’s eyes flash dazzlingly as he began. “I know I am the last respondent, yes.”

“Grand.” The man ushered Elijah to get up and tread closely behind. Following quickly, Elijah was surprised to see that they were leaving the building.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Elijah chose his words carefully. “Where are we going?”

“I am fond of conducting my interviews over promenades,” the young man replied. They steered their way around crowds of businessmen as they ventured into the streets, making random turns here and there. “It shows how well you can think on your feet, literally. It is an aptitude you will need to be proficient in if you want to become an Associate like myself.”

“Associate?” Elijah blinked a few times out of confusion, knowing that he had applied to work as an intern in the financial department. Although he was a few inches taller than the young man, he was having a little difficulty catching up, causing him to fall in and out of the conversation.

“Indeed,” the man misinterpreted the question. “I was recently put in charge of development acquisitions and advanced from Junior Associate to an Associate. Fascinating, is it not?”

“Sure.”

The two strolled a little further out of the city, moving away from the busy center where the Carmichael Corporation headquarters stood. They came upon streets a little emptier then before until they finally turned into an old park. It was actually quite beautiful, covered in old knotty trees and overgrown plants. Birds were constantly chirping and squirrels chased after each other like there was no tomorrow. It was also littered in large stones, adding an oddly picturesque feel to it. Elijah was surprised that he had lived in the city for so long and had never once been to this place.

After a while more of walking, the man led them to an old picnic table before turning around and offering a large, rough hand. Confused, Elijah accepted it and the grip practically shattered his bones. Elijah had kept his body fit since his high school basketball days, so he was surprised to feel such a sheer strength in the young man’s shake.

“My name is Keating Eckley Whitlyn, Jr.,” the young man stated before placing his briefcase down and taking a seat at the table. “Our interview should not extend too lengthily, as I have some imperative work to attend to after this.”

“What would that be?” Elijah asked earnestly, his jovial tone a major contrast to Keating’s flat, molasses-like demeanor. At 6’7, it was fairly difficult for him to get his skinny legs under the table, but he managed.

“I have been assigned to a downtown acquisition project, a potential development on 520 Porter where we need to clear the lot.”

“Huh, okay,” Elijah strangely got interested. “So what is it that you are removing?”

“Currently the future site of the Carmichael Settlement on Porter is occupied by this park we are lounging in right now.”

“This park?” Elijah was surprised. “But it’s stunning! There’s so much life and nature here. You wanna tear it down?”

“It is an eyesore and it occupies a lot with high economic potential.  It is better suited for development.”

“How could you be such a soulless jerk?” Elijah scolded, getting angrier faster than he had anticipated. He began caring less and less about the job and more about his own morality. Sure, Elijah got how important money was, but he didn’t think he would be able to live with the guilt of destroying an animal’s habitat, let alone an entire population’s. “Don’t you understand what you would be doing? The impact this will have?”

“I’m offended by your tone.” Even after being insulted, Keating’s voice still sounded low, slow, and empty. His eyes however seemed to flare up before he continued. “And yes, I understand exactly the impact this will have. It will create a serviceable, profitable property for the Carmichael Corporation, which in turn will compensate me with enough money to survive. That is what any respectable man like you and I would desire.”

“Survive?” Elijah mocked, now getting extremely annoyed that Keating had compared the two of them. 

“Obviously.” Keating wasn’t defending himself, but instead explaining what he thought was a common fact. “I just bought a house out in Fenwick, the only neighborhood in this squalid city with expansive acreage, tree-shaded streets, and good schools. It is very difficult to purchase a home in that neighborhood, especially one with the seven bedrooms, four floors, and private tennis court I required. Plus, I’m working on my country club application. The application fee alone is $50,000. Looking over your records earlier, I had gathered that was something you desired as well, correct?”

“Yes, that is true.” The idea was buried inside Elijah’s mind. Far from feeling like a fresh fantasy, it was embedded deep, as though it had always been there, as though he’d always wanted to buy a giant mansion in a gated neighborhood with an expensive country club. It was always the goal to move out to Fenwick for corporate shark Elijah.

“I am relieved that that is settled.” Keating opened his briefcase to reveal a combination of different documents, papers, and a massive book that Elijah couldn’t believe fit in the bag. Keating proceeded to pull it out and flipped open to a page somewhere in the middle.

“To become an Associate, you will first be assigned underneath me as a Junior before moving up the ladder. You will still make a good deal of money however, so do not feel too unsettled. Do you understand?” 

Although they were maintaining a shared gaze, Keating was not able to read the confusion on Elijah’s face.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s correct.” Elijah was here for a position in the financial department, not to be an Associate, so he was embarrassed to point out the error that Keating had made. Not embarrassed enough however to not correct him.

“As a Junior Associate, you’d start with a baseline of 100 plus three percent commission with incentives quarterly based on goals and projects,” Keating answered, once again misreading. “I believe that will be appropriate compensation, am I accurate?”

“Yes, indeed you are,” Elijah replied cheerfully, glad that the issue was all cleared up. He had wanted to start as an Associate right away as he was worried it the Junior position wouldn’t give him the pay he had hoped for, but apparently it wasn’t that far below. Plus, if he did well, he could quickly move up like Keating had.

“Your job will require calls, lots of calls,” Keating droned, his piercing eyes drilling right into Elijah’s. “Calls to landowners, historical groups, insurance companies, auctioneers, all with their own opinions and interests. A few calls will be less productive, with upset protestors yelling at you about our improvement upon the lot. You will have to decelerate your speech to command attention better.  Be direct and contain emotions. You will be better suited to appear calm and in control at all times. There is no need to ever appear energetic or excited.”

The hurling of information confused Elijah. “So you are saying I shouldn’t care about the clients?”

“Yes,” Keating confirmed. “You can try being sympathetic, but you will quickly find that being stern and direct will get them off the line quicker so you can return to work. Based off of what I have already perceived, this will not be a hindrance.”

“Thank you.” Elijah found himself mimicking Keating’s voice: deep, dull, and disinterested.

“There are many perks of the job, including a corporate gym on the fifth floor which I highly recommend you use.” After investigating Elijah’s long, fit body, Keating brought his eyes back to Elijah’s own. “We expect every man to have a sense of presence at the Carmichael Corporation. Currently, you are far from meeting those standards.”

“What do you mean by that?” Elijah responded. It was hard for a man of his height to keep a healthy weight. A high metabolism meant he was always fairly skinny, but he didn’t expect it would be such a problem.

“The gym is a good source of weight training,” Keating continued, ignoring the question. “I personally workout an hour before work each day and one hour afterwards. You will be expected to maintain a similar routine. It appears however that you already understand the importance of presence, but if you are interested in a tour of the corporate gym I would not be affronted.”

“Thank you, I would be very fond of that.” Elijah smiled politely after his reply, moving his legs a little under the picnic table. At 6’3, it was a little difficult for him to keep his well-defined legs under the table, but he managed. Although he’d left golf after college (and hoped to get back into it with his admission into the country club) Elijah had made sure to keep his body in excellent shape by working out almost everyday. His proof could be seen through the skin-tight quarter-zip sweater and the black khaki’s that hugged his meaty quads and calves.

“At the Carmichael Corporation, we do have a dress code, but it is reasonably undemanding.” Keating turned the manual around to show Elijah. The page that Keating had flipped to displayed a model covered head to toe in a full, very dapper yet very posh suit. Elijah’s eyes fluttered quickly before looking back to Keating for confirmation.

“‘Reasonably undemanding’?”

“I would say so. A suit works as the foundation of a man’s future in business.” Keating closed the handbook and placed it back into his briefcase. Elijah could have sworn a tiny smile crept onto the corners of Keating’s mouth during the action. “I appreciate that you have already generated this knowledge.”

“I’m glad you noticed,” Elijah flourished, his voice still plodding. Elijah had made sure to pick out an outfit that had shown off all of his best features. First, a drab, beige, perfectly-cut jacket with matching pleated pants, accompanied by a striped salmon button-up that contrasted well against his pale skin. He had matched his coffee-colored tie to similar shaded Size 13 tassel loafers and a pair of bronze supports that were hidden expertly beneath his coat. Finally, he had styled his blond hair into a fashionable ivy-league cut, making sure to also get a fresh shave earlier that morning. Just the thought of himself in the outfit made him perk up inside his white briefs, bringing his dick to a 6.5-inch mast.

“There are only a few more things we must address, one being your character and ethics.”

“What is it the company expects?” Elijah asked.

“You must understand,” Keating glared. “the Carmichael Corporation expects every man to share the same morale system. We want a unified front; a collective conscience per say.”

“Alright,” Elijah accepted. “What are these shared values?”

“There are the equitable ideals like marrying a woman of the same class, having an abundance of children, and being a member of good standing at multiple prestigious clubs.”

Elijah sighed to himself quietly while still maintaining eye contact, disappointed in these old-fashioned beliefs.

“At the Carmichael Corporation, we also have intimate objectives that stand high above the others. You must want to move upwards on the corporate ladder. You must want to fully commit yourself to your work. You must want to embody everything a man should be: big, strong, soon to be rich. You must want to be every title a man should own: sportsman, fraternity brother, and avaricious. You want money, do you not?”

“Yes,” Elijah confirmed deliberately. “I want money.” This brought a greedy sneer spread to Keating’s face. Elijah felt like a low, deep, and great truth had awoke inside him. Luckily, the Carmichael Corporation’s principles had aligned perfectly to his own.

“Very good.” Keating eyes also seemed to grin wildly. “Now, two imperative adjustments I would personally like to make. The first is your name.”

“My name?” Elijah opposed.

“Yes, you will need something stronger, more outdated to establish yourself as a man of the Carmichael Corporation. Is that not true?”

“Yes, I do believe that to be true,” Elijah suddenly affirmed. “Please tell me what you think my name should be.”

“Your name is not the only dilemma however, but also your nationality,” Keating resumed. “I believe a British origin would give you a brilliant presence. More mannerful, much more respectable, and it would help establish you as a leading man. Plus, a legacy will give you generational value. What do you think?”

“I-”

“But,” Keating cut off before Elijah could even attempt to reply. “I should not be bashful in saying that you already represent all those factors. Care to agree, Emerson Foley Gillingham-Smyth?”

“Most certainly,” Emerson acknowledged accordingly in a pretentious accent. He was a diligent, hard-working, and prosperous Brit, and those were only the first words that came to his head. Some may have called him smug and arrogant, but he was really just confident and self-assured. He resembled the epitome of a real man, as displayed by his stunning suit that contrasted his tanned skin eloquently. His dark, chestnut hair and beard also gave off a shocking amount of masculinity. Just the thought of himself and his own superiority made him perk up inside his white briefs, bringing his dick to a 9-inch mast. He was by no means a repulsive sodomite, but he could admit a handsome man when he saw one. And he was a handsome man.

“So what do you convey, Keating Eckley Whitlyn, Jr.?” Emerson began, taking a stand with his Size 15 feet planted firmly beneath him. “Do you believe I could become a Junior Associate at the Carmichael Corporation.”

“By all means,” Keating replied, getting up and extending a hand forward. “You’ll be a fashionable fit.” They gave a single sturdy shake before finishing their business. While heading towards the exit, they held a light conversation about stocks, each having grabbed a business edition of the Times along the way. 

Gripping the paper tightly as they drifted away from the park, Emerson felt almost restless. The idea of stripping away that atrocity of a park to add in a new, profitable site was so thrilling it was mildly arousing. After his success here, Emerson knew he would receive a promotion, which pleased him mightily. Making their way across a boulevard, Emerson watched the Carmichael Corporation’s headquarters come into view, the place where he knew he would accomplish everything he desired.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Hey pooks could you recommend some Argon fanfics?? 🤍

absolutely! where do I even begin?! I will link the masterlists of each author I recommend xx

@sunfyresrider has AMAZING Aegon fics with her blessed TALENT, one of my all time faves is >>> "Obsession" (one-shot), "Midnight Lust" (one-shot) + her "Love & Ruin" series. both here.

@ilikeitbetterangsty another fantastic author in her own right, anything Aegon coded (or anyone else really) she nails it. some of my ultimate fave pieces include >>>> "Don't Wait for Me (I can't come)" [two-part series], "Cause I am a goddess (make you a promise)" [two-part series], break some bread (for all my sins) ++++ and just so much more. here are the links!

@arcielee also is a magnificent writer, like her writing is perfection. she's got these wonderful fics on "modern!Aeg" that just warms my heart, one of the cosiest fics include "Sleeping In". Also some fics that'll have you flustered af include "Pay No Mind" and "Date with the Night", all + more masterpieces can be found here.

@fan-goddess phenomenal writer, her fics will get you hot and heacy QUICK. some of my favourite pieces include "Early Riser" and her "Sugar!Daddy Aeg AU" has me in an actual chokehold, you'll be craving for more! here are all the links.

@f4ll-for-you talent beyond words, you just need to read the fics for themselves.... like, I am always left speechless. my favourites include "My Favourite Kind of Breakfast", "Unexpected" and "Don't Look Back in Anger" especially if you're up for some angst!!! I highly recommend reading thru the masterlist!

@amiraisgoingthruit Lord the grip that Mira's "Moments Before the Disaster" fic has on me, I am patiently waiting for the second part, is unimaginable!! I have yet to read the "Speak Now" series, but I am certain the writing will not cease to amaze me! here you can find the incredible works.

@sylas-the-grim Ezran's work I have only just recently began to read (I KNOW I AM ASHAMED), and I am already HOOKED!!! the power, the sheer talent, the gift, I can't! The "soft, smutty headcanons" are everything and more, and I have yet to binge read more!!!

@jacevelaryonswife is also a lovely, talented writer, who has a few lovely pieces for Aegon, such as "You set my soul alight" and even some naughty NSFW headcanons "How is he in sex?", you will NOT regret!!! check out her fics!

@valeskafics LAST BUT NOT LEAST my beautiful Bel, she will write almost (or probably already has) written every AU possibly imagined, we're just constantly spoiled by her immaculate writing. One of the first, beautiful fics I read was "Meet Cute" and I was even so blessed as to have my own request fulfilled and it was above and beyond what I imagined, called "Whatever Your King Desires". I have more to read, as like I said, we're constantly spoiled silly by Bel (forever grateful)!!!!

there are SOOOO many more incredible writers for Aegon, I apologies if I have missed anyone (I do not mean to) so please, just message me or comment and I'll continue to add to the list!! CAUSE EVEN I NEED MORE AEGON!

[dhmis-autism]

what’s the biggest mischaracterisation of each character that you feel like you ‘suffer’ from the most? obviously no disrespect to ppl who do characterise them in certain ways! :] this is just out of curiosity…your thoughts are so intriguing:]

I am so sorry I am about to get so unbelievably bitchy and prissy and fussy. I have thought SO much about this question and I have also SEEN so many interpretations of my boys that I completely disagreed with.  Like you said though, clearly, no disrespect to people who characterize them this way! I know I am a very picky, persnickety bitch.

Anyways. Best boy up first.

 Duck mischaracterizations that I hate:

- him being super effeminate and given like an hourglass figure and human woman legs. like what.

- him being feminine being like, his whole personality. I loathe when people just start writing him like a super twinky, aave spitting gay. It’s really fucking weird can you all be normal about him wearing a dress ONE time please. LIKE HES JUST A NORMAL GUY. OK. GOD

- written as a bitchy or abusive mother/parental figure ( specifically towards YG. why.)

- him being super loud and just constantly spouting verbal/physical abuse at the other two (girl he is much quieter than you remember and he insults them like. twice. in 6 episodes. get real.)

- I hate hate hate when people act like RG is his whole world and have him ignore YG/act like he doesnt exist

- him being written as deliberately manipulating the other two, sometimes even like. physically self-harming in order to do so?? like oh my god. he would NOT fucking do that.

- him being written as totally HATING yellow guy and just constantly acting like hes a burden (I’ll actually kill over this one. how dare you. biting)

- weird thing I’ve noticed where people will make him refer to himself as 'the smart/intelligent one' of the group (something he's never done) but then like. the narrative/author will legitimately treat him like he IS very smart. like. no he is not.

- having him take YGs batteries out of sheer malice / ( ABLEISM(??)) and like. hate.  and somehow forgetting how hard he was freaking out that his friend was different earlier in the episode???????

- him being in a nuclear family situation with red with YG as their "son" . like 1. he is NOT a good dad and would not be a good one. 2. he SAID how he feels about that boy if you cant accept dad dog duo as a dad dog duo you do not deserve them

- writing him as CONSTANTLY ANGRY/PISSED OFF oh it makes me wanna shake people by the shoulders and SCREAM like!! Rewatch the show!! Baker Terry did not give us that bizarre and soft and joyous performance for you to write him like Squidward in a yaoi!!!! I’ll KILL YOU!!!!!!! HE IS AN UPBEAT PESSIMIST!!! A CHEERY DEFEATIST!!!!! I’LL GNAW YOUR BONES TO DUST!!!!

- when people make him skinny. How dare you. How DARE YOU. HOW DARE Y

- when people make him taller than YG. I would be less upset if “the smallest one” wasn’t literally something he was called IN THE SHOW

YG mischaracterizations I hate:

-Him being portrayed as GENUINELY stupid. Yes I know the crew call him that, yes I know other characters call him that, I think it’s obvious they’re exaggerating a bit.

-Him being the only one of the three that’s written as incredibly childish (imo, all three of them are a bit childish- but if you write just YG that way, I roll my eyes)

-Him being incredibly passive and soft and nice and conflict avoidant and a huge big pushover crybaby who never fights back or says anything mean.

-When people make it out like he’s really bad at art/draws like a child- really ticks me off because we are EXPLICITLY SHOWN IN EPISODE 1 OF THE WEBSERIES THAT HE’S GOOD AT ART

-I actually hate when people discount a lot of his talents, ppl acting like he wouldn’t be good at music or art when we KNOW HE IS!!!! WE KNOW HE IS!! WHAteever

-Him being socially inept/inadequate ! He is imo the most socially adept out of the 3 of them and the one most likely to thrive among a new friend group

-When people act like. YG with fresh batteries and YG without them are two separate people/have separate personalities??? They are literally the same dude (my good friend Am has a great post on this actually. Here. Read.learn.)

RG mischaracterizations I hate:

-The idea that he is nice. LOL I’m almost joking, but not really. Verbally, he’s very barby and I WISH more people would remember that genuinely.

-When he’s written as the ONLY voice of reason/ smartest guy in the room. He is not. God help him he is so fucking stupid and goofy and canonically loves Smash Mouth and thinks MAGIC is real.

-Super Hyper Sexy Man with vacuum-sealed abs and a COMPLETELY new personality

I have nothing else for him I don’t think of him often.

[deancaspinefest]

Congratulations to all of the wonderful authors and artists who took part in the seventh annual Dean/Cas Pinefest!

This pining season, 39 teams comprised of 41 authors and 25 artists brought us a truly incredible 1,470,624 words of fic, and 141 gorgeous works of art.

If you're interested in seeing more numbers, you can find a full breakdown of this and past year's stats here!

Once again, we've been blown away by the sheer talent and creativity of this fandom, and we're so happy that people are still interested in this event two years after Supernatural wrapped up (for now!)

In case you're wondering: yes, the mods are still fully aboard this ship, and will be back to run an eighth round!

An official announcement for the 2024 Pinefest will come in July, so follow us here on Tumblr & @deancaspinefest on Twitter to make sure you don’t miss out 🌲 

Under the cut, you’ll find links to every masterpost from the 2023 round, and you can also check out the collection on Ao3. Make sure to let the authors and artists know how much you enjoyed their creations with a like, kudos, or best of all, a reblog, rec, or comment!

Everywhere

The Devil You Know (Who Also Knows You)

Other Worlds Than These

The barista and the bookshop

Hunter’s Throne

Marigold

won’t you stay with me, my darling, when the war starts in my heart?

Depth of Field

Dear Western Red Cedar #2409

You Could Save Me (from the way I tend to be)

straw house, straw dog

Life After Loss

Don’t forget me when I’m gone

On Wayward Tracks

The Fool, Fish and Rocks

Something in the Air

stay in my arms (if you dare)

Everything’s Fine

Djinn & Tonic

Buzz

My Turning Page

Breaking Bonds

The Emoji Guy

When I Knew You

Faith and Magic

Fall A Little Further

The Waiting (is the hardest part)

Lucky Mud

Lavender Pines

Devil on the Dirt

Maybe Next Time

r/Relationships

West

the long hill home

when the stars align

My Body is a Cage

Whisper My Name

Unbeknownst Soul Mate

carving deep blue ripples

And once you're all caught up on this year’s crop of pine, there are 553 works of art and 180 fics (totaling almost 7 million words) to be found in the previous six Pinefest rounds!

Until next time... happy pining!

[a-canceled-stamp]

🪰

🪰 Recommend a fic that makes you sad (in the best way!!)! Some great angst and/or hurt/comfort!

OKAY so

Since hurt/comfort is what I consume daily I simply couldn't choose one fic for this lil bug. So I chose 4. Or. Technically 5. Just for you babes 😘 (mind you my oof meter may differ from other's oof meter. I am but a smol creature and can only take so much pain in my soup. Be advised.)

SYNCHRONICITY by orpheusaki ( @damianbugs). We're starting with the fic with the least amount of anguish, but one that still packs a punch. Nightwing and Dick!Robin swapping places. Angsty Dick & Bruce stuff happens in both the past and future, and y'all, it is INCREDIBLE. This author is just. Gah. Everything they do is pure gold, and this fic is no exception. Very much made me tear up and my heart hurt a lot, but I was def smiling by the end of it. This will hurt you but at least put a lil bandage over the bruise :)

Sprinklers by SunnyBlue. Tim & Damian feels bc OF COURSE. Tim is gravely injured and begs Damian to leave him. Damian refuses bc he secretly cares about his big bro. You know, the ush 😌💅 Yet another fic that left me with a lil bandaid over my bruise by the end of it, but man, this bruise was nasteeee. On a more serious note, this was one of the first Batfam fics I ever read, and made me realize the sheer talent that exists in this fandom. A fantastic read.

Identity by Miles_2_Go ( @miles2g0). OUGHHH. The greatest fic to ever fic. Lazarus Pit!Tim and Good Bro!Jason = AHJDKSHJDK. So much hurt/comfort. Love love love. This also offers a bandaid (from what I remember) but the hurt lingers dude. It lingersssss. Excellent writing, wonderful prose, INCREDIBLE characterizations, SUPERB angst....just GAH. I love it so much.

As for the last one...this is where we arrive in Oofville. Population? Whoever dare read this fic (this one might be familiar to you cue ashdjshdjk)

bile is sweeter by cuephrase ( @cuephrase). I read this a few weeks ago and y'all. I am still not okay. Shorter than the other recs but FUCK. The pain. THE PAIN. The Tim & Dick dynamic, the internal dialogue, Dick's fear and desperation, the ENDING- Ough. OUGH. And if you liked this one, Cue has just finished a sequel; Penance. Why did they write this, you ask? TO EMOTIONALLY MAIM THEIR FRIENDS THAT'S WHY. I've only read the first chapter but man. I already know I'm In Danger(TM) 🥲

Thank you for the ask!🌻💞

Send me a bug and I'll give you a fic rec!

[greenerteacups]

Possibly risking spoiler territory... but, Draco has started using Occlumency without realising it, right? Is this something you envision as being potentially a Black family talent (as canonically Snape assumes Bellatrix taught Draco in HBP and fans assume Narcissa may also be fairly skilled at it as she managed to lie to Voldemort in DH) and do you see him potentially also being able to use Legilimency? 👀

I don't know if I would describe what he's doing as Occlumency, because that would imply that someone's trying to use Legilimency on him, which was not something I intended to suggest (although don't let me kill your reading. As I've said before, everything the author says outside of the text is speculation). I will say that Draco has an unusually advanced talent for compartmentalization, as evidenced by the sheer number of times that he goes "well, we're certainly Not Thinking About That," and then it actually works, at least for a chapter or two. That comes from his upbringing, as we see Narcissa do it quite often, and though other purebloods seem to have similar tendencies/skills for it, Draco and Narcissa are both noted by others to be some of the most buttoned-up and reticent of the bunch. They keep their cards close. This is the other side of the "emotionally stunted" and "repressed" coin: yeah, they're not great at emotional communication, and it fucks their relationships pretty badly, but it also keeps their heads safe. So I see it as a genetic/familial inclination toward Occlumency.

On that basis, I would say that Narcissa actually is a fairly talented Occlumens (without getting into spoilers!) — but that makes Snape's assumption about Bellatrix kind of interesting, because if Lucius or Narcissa could do it, it'd be reasonable to assume they'd teach him. Which leaves two options: (1) either Snape knows that Bellatrix is taking a special interest in Draco, so inferred it from that (reasonable guess, plus evidenced by the HBP prologue) or (2) Lucius and Narcissa can't Occlude. Snape, being a Legilimens who spends a ton of time around the Death Eater faction, should know exactly who the Occlumenses are. Because Narcissa lies to Voldemort in DH, option 2 becomes almost impossible to believe (and this is the problem with introducing literal Mind Reading as a plot device in your fantasy narrative, but I digress).

My favorite resolution to this goes as follows: Occlumency is a Black/Malfoy family talent, but Legilimency is incredibly rare, draws on some well of natural ability (kind of like the Sight in Divination) and neither Lucius nor Narcissa has it. Snape does, Voldemort does, and Bellatrix does. But they're the only named characters who can. That explains why it has to be Snape teaching Harry, and that explains why Narcissa and Lucius can't teach Draco. It's just easier to teach Occlumency if you have a Legilimens on-hand. (That does raise the question of where Narcissa and Lucius learned, but if Narcissa grew up around Bella, then she would've probably learned quickly how to protect herself, and she could've conceivably taught Lucius.) By that theory, Draco might have it — especially if we take it to be genetic — but de minima, I think it's safe to say that Draco has canonically learned Occlumency by seventh year, because he tries to lie about recognizing Harry to Bellatrix. Which also implies that he's fairly good at it, in my opinion, because this is magic that Harry (not to mention Hermione, by the way) never learns how to do.

How much of this fanlore will make it into Lionheart? Not sure yet! But it will certainly be fun to play with the parameters of all the things you can do with mind magic, going forward.

[madrabit]

for the fic ask game: 🍈🥝🍍

Heho 💖 thank you for the ask! ☺���

For everyone else feel free to also send me some fruits 🍏🍒🍑🥭 ✨️

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions. 

To preface this, I love all the boys. They're all very cute/adorable/hot/attractive (take your pick), and they all are amazing musicians and very, very talented! But I think I do let my bias show a lot, so it would come to no surprise when I say my fav is Bojan. (I’m basic ik, but have you looked at his big ass puppy eyes?) 

If you read my fics, you might already guess what this is going to entail. I generally love that he's absolutely tiny next to the others (I’m sure he hates that fact, but it’s cute and him being pocket sized makes it so much funnier, sorry, puppy boi, you're three blueberries stacked on top of each other, I don't make the rules and neither do you). But that’s not a headcanon right?

So yeah, some headcanons I love are writing about him whining and whimpering and begging. He's a vocal boi, so it just makes sense to me.

We also all know about his little naps, and one of my headcanons is him just dropping immediately once he goes tired, idk, it's just very cute, I think. 

One of my absolute fav headcanons is him loving to get manhandled, but once again, we've seen him enjoy being pushed around, so is that really a headcanon or is it just… him?

There are probably a lot more and I think I unintentionally keep bringing up the same things in my fics, if you have any questions about that, feels free to ask some more 😊☺️

🥝 What’s your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write?

Ohhhh, that's interesting, ngl. I like writing a lot of different things and I like reading a thousand things more… but I think my favorite trope to write atm might be friends to lovers, sharing one bed, tour bus is also quiet nice (and very JO focused 😂).

I also tend to like a lot of smutty tropes, like biting and hair pulling, but idk if we then go over into the kink side of the tags and less trope-y 😅

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with? 

Usually I really like most AUs! It all depends on how it's portrayed and if I like the author or not. But generally I really enjoy supernatural AUs, like Vampires, witches and demons and stuff, but I also am really font of a good dæmon fic (I love the concept of having a little animal companion that is literally your soul, reminds me of familiars of witches and I love that). 

I do also enjoy a nice sports AU if it's not too focused on the sport and makes me read about matches and rules and an accurate paragraph long description of technical gameplay, if I want to read a rulebook I can watch a yt tutorial or google. I also like a good f1 AU.

The classical ones like College AU and Coffee shop, tattoo parlor/flower shop are also so nice to read and always make me happy! 

So there is generally no AU I could say I have beef with from the top of my mind… ohhhhh, okay, no, there is one! 

I don't really enjoy Space AUs… like… the funky Guardians of the Galaxy types or Star Wars or Star Trek are nice and fine. It's space horror that freaks me out, when ppl get lost in space and have to either survive or die alone in the middle of nothing. That might also have to be connected to my dislike of cosmic horror that happens in space (like the Alien movies, which I don't dislike, but just can't appreciate the way other ppl can). If it's like… Alien invasion and it happens on earth its different tho, then it's funky and fun again.

Space is incredibly beautiful and I'm so fascinated by planets, the milky way and solar systems and all the Star signs and constellations, but at the same time I just think I don't like the vastness of it as well as the sheer nothingness and the ominous nature of it all. Maybe it's also just existential dread I feel when I think of it, but I just am not having a good time when I'm being anxious, so yeah 😅

[raybyanothername]

im so so desperately in love with your “secret on his arm” fic it’s borderline unhealthy 😭 will you ever write other povs for it? i’d be so interested in hearing what the others are thinking of the abuse, what ideas they have that aegon hasn’t heard. maybe even what rhaena or even one the adults on the black side are thinking of jace’s clear infatuation and the battle between all the kids for aegon’s attention - only luke hadn’t really participated yet lol! and ofc, i would absolutely kill for another pov on the luke aegon scene when sunfyre is dropping bodies i the courtyard. it’s a reminder than aegon despite all his charm / laughter is more dangerous than they give him credit for. i’m loving this fic! can’t wait for more, esp w that cruel cliffhanger you left 😭😭 thank you so much for all you share w us! im truly amazed by your talent and the sheer quantity you’re writing. it’s incredible and words can’t express how much i appreciate it. you’re THE aegon author for me, truly ❤️❤️

😭😭😭 Thank you so much for the kind words! My obsession with Secret may also be a bit unhealthy ngl.

I do have *many* ideas for alternate POVs. The general plan at the moment is to finish the main fic (all Aegon's POV) and then write some oneshots or shorter sequel fics in the same universe. This would cover things like Luke's POV, Daemon's *investigation,* and a lot of Rhaenyra moments that Aegon had a vastly different understand of than she does.

In the coming arc we will get to see a bit more 'behind the curtain' of what certain characters have been up to. It's all still Aegon's (very skewed) POV, but I think those of us (myself included) who are always dying to know what others are thinking will be very pleased.

[thephantomcasebook]

My personal thing that anon addressed about no Netty is that she might show up in season three. From all the leaks & budget issues & the strikes it seems season 2 is going to be trying so quick to get through the politics they didn’t address in season one. Leaks say the sowing is episode 7, and god knows how much of that we even get to see unless they turned that into just a huge scene of all the bastards flooding in to claim a dragon as per the set pictures. Seems like WB is keeping a tight leash on production for god knows what reason because it’s following the GOT S8 pattern of storytelling now lol.

I think you're spot on here.

GOT had a crack and very talented behind the scenes crew and production that could overcome the mediocrity of D&D's tired and disinterested writing. However, in the end, S Tier behind the scenes talent couldn't overcome the sheer laziness of D&D, brought on by both arrogance of affirmation, believing that they were the reason that GOT was the second most watched TV show in history (Just behind Downton Abbey) and the result was the worst disaster in the history of Television.

Season 2 of HOTD is plagued by a similarity of a deep lack of story and character details. I have it on good authority that the treatments that were sent in to HBO - even the GRRM ones - were not good and meandering, because, none of the HOTD characters have any deeper characteristics. GRRM is a 70 year old man and not exactly in his prime anymore. He doesn't have the ability to come up with a deep dive characterization of Alicent or Helaena, cause, they're historical figures in his writing. Therefore these characters are given over to Condal and Hess to come up with deeper characterizations, but they fundamentally lack the overall talent to create good likeable characters that are 3 dimensional people.

So, in a way, while D&D got lazy and bored with GOT, they are also a victim of being left high and dry by GRRM and his inability to finish. He wrote and pitched "The Dance of Dragons" had general ideas for the characters and then found that he didn't really have anything but a list of events, never thinking that his shows would have budget cuts and restrictions. And that he'd have to write characterizations for the Greens, or that Daemon can't be the focus of the show, or that "The Sea Snake" had to earn his bad ass status and not just have him tell us "Trust me bro".

HOTD turned out to be miles different than what he wanted or envisioned and now they're floundering. And truly, just like GOT Season 8, a good deal of the blame is on GRRM for being incredibly shot sighted.

[squishy-lombax]

Book reviews from my book club

I host a book club that has unfortunately been lacking in active members. If you're interested in joining, please let me know. We are based on Discord. Warning: I've very passionate about the book club and will get on your case if I don't hear from you regularly. If any of the books listed here that we've read previously interest you, our book club may too! 18+ only. I have relatives in the book club, so I'll kick you if you're being weird. Books are in order of how much I enjoyed them! Disclaimer: These, of course, are just my opinions based on my tastes. (formatted for PC, not app)

Strange The Dreamer by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Unlike a lot of other high-fantasy books, this one isn't so overly complicated you can still enjoy it. The characters are all very realistic and lovable! This book dealt with a few very heavy topics, however, none of the situations presented were black and white. Especially with a character named Eril-Fane; he was handled so well in my opinion. Even the so-called villain of the story I was able to sympathize with and couldn't decide if I wanted her redeemed or dead. The the description doesn't do the book justice but I can't say much without spoilers. It's a LOT more interesting than it sounds, I promise!

Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This book has incredible writing, world-building, characters, and interactions. It felt like something that could actually happen (or may be happening right now depending on who you ask). This book has wonderful descriptions and I went through the whole book confidant in how the alien looked in my mind. Any confusion didn't feel frustrating, like in a "I'm just a dumb human" type of way. The main character felt very relatable, and the author wasn't afraid to make her humanly-gross at times. Which I appreciate. I also appreciate the huge emphasis on understanding, communication, and consent present in this book. Things that feel like they should be common in most relationship based stories, but unfortunately, are not.

Lockwood and Co. The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The characters were relatable and funny, and the environments were described excellently! I was invested in the story from chapter one and remained invested to the very end! I especially loved the descriptions of the ghosts and how they were handled. Just the right amount of terror and mystery surrounds them. In general, I usually hate first-person books; but this one strangely did not bother me. Truly a talented writer! I don't know how this book is considered a children's book, though, because even adult-me found myself sitting on the edge of my seat with the sheer thrill and terror this book invoked!

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: The Sword of Summer by Rick Riordan ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This book is based on Norse mythology and it did a wonderful job at explaining this crazy and cooky mythos as coherently as possible. I think if you're interested in Norse mythology (or are a kid learning history) this book is a must-read. The whole story read like a spirited DnD campaign. It was funny, it was camp, and it was lively! I actually laughed out loud a couple times during this book, or had to bury my face envisioning certain scenarios. Representation is abundant with the main character being pan-sexual, the leading lady is Muslim, the first side character is a man that is a fashion designer, and the other is a disabled character (deaf and uses ASL). None of these characters fall into the terrible cliché of the "third wheel, dumb, friend" and all representation featured feels organic and natural.

Waking the Merrow by Heather Rigney ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I worried this would end up just being a trashy romance. I'm so happy to say it was not! It had enough sexy elements to remind you that we're dealing with sirens but it was far above fanfiction equality. I enjoyed the main character because there is something refreshing about having a character be so fundamentally flawed and yet you can still tell she is a good person and doing her best. All the characters were arguably unlikable and yet I liked all of them! I find it far more impressive to write a character in this way. The merrow themselves had great descriptions of their appearance and savagery. Yet they also appear to have a depth and complexity hinted throughout that I'm sure is fully explored in the later books.

Silver Spoon by Hiromu Arakawa ⭐⭐⭐⭐ This manga was extremely cute and down to earth. All the characters felt real and alive, going through struggles that may be very personal to the reader. I also learned quite a bit about farming. I was invested in the relationship between Yuugo and Aki and couldn't wait for them to just hold hands. I also enjoyed the realistic take on the relationship with Yuugo and his father. There is no big forgiveness moment and them continuing to have a strained relationship is something that sometimes happens. The characters and morals I feel can connect to many people. Although, this style of story isn't for everyone.

The Guardians: Nicholas St. North and the Battle of the Nightmare King by William Joyce & Laura Geringer ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I was introduced to this series through the movie, Rise of the Guardians. Although this book is a very simple read, I still really enjoy it. It's filled with so much imagination, heart, and gorgeous illustrations. Plus I always love a reinterpretation of childhood characters. I can actually picture myself reading my future kids these books at bedtime!

The Naked Don't Fear The Water by Matthieu Aikins ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I struggle to write reviews for things based on actual events. I enjoyed this book, which surprised me because books that recount actual events have a terrible habit of being boring to me. However, I rather enjoyed the way Matthieu wrote. It was just the right amount of storytelling while also staying focused on the actual events transpiring. This book does a wonderful job of educating its readers while keeping them engaged in a story.

Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō by Hitoshi Ashinano ⭐⭐⭐⭐ A lovely and relaxing read that does a wonderful job at romanticizing the little things in life. I can definitely see Studio Ghibli making a movie based off this story; they would do a fantastic job with this concept! I especially loved Alpha! (she's autistic and you can't change my mind!) I'm very surprised that this manga is in the Seinen genre because it feels more like it was written for cottage-core lesbians then adult men. One issue is that this story introduced a lot of interesting world-building lore that I was super excited to learn more about. However, sadly, it doesn't dive into any of these concepts more; they are simply brought up and rarely mentioned again.

Room by Emma Donoghue ⭐⭐⭐ The book is very interesting and covers topics I like. However, there is a surprising amount of nothing happening. The five-year-old point of view was hard to get used it, then was okay, but became grating again as the story dragged on. However, after the second half I wasn't sure what the goal of the plot was anymore. The story kind of drags with basic day-to-day things, and having it be from a five-year-old's point of view was no longer interesting to me. I feel like it would have been better if the point of views changed at the half way point to the mother's.

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman ⭐⭐⭐ (I read the book before watching the TV show) I found the book rather interesting in concept and I enjoyed the characters. Unfortunately, I personally have struggles with reading and thus the way this book is worded made it difficult for me. I felt there were far too many main characters to get invested in anyone, and just a general lot of nothing happening in the story. It always seemed like something was gonna happen, and thus kept my attention but it never really did, and thus left me feeling disappointed. There were plenty of funny moments but unfortunately, they just didn't make me laugh out loud at all. If you're going to read this book, do so as an audio book!

Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas ⭐⭐ This book was a disappointment. I loved the darker atmosphere with the murder mystery going on. I also loved the fluffy romance between Peter and Wendy. However, unfortunately, Wendy was dull as a protagonist, spending almost the whole book having things happen to her, rather than doing things herself. I do have a serious Anxiety Disorder but unfortunately, being anxious and sad all the time doesn't make for a very interesting character. The pacing was PAINFULLY slow! The direction I thought the book was going in was WAY more interesting than what actually ended up happening. Not to mention the characters didn't discover anything themselves, instead always having it explained to them in exposition dumps. It's a bad fanfiction quality book.

[infinitystoner]

If you get this let’s spread some positivity 🌈

Link the 4 writers with whom you chatted recently and say what makes their fics special ^D

*cracks knuckles*

@currish-rosewolfe: Where to begin? We've bonded over our in-depth analysis of Hiddles gifs, but she's quickly become one of my favorite writers here (and a dear friend)! If you're craving some healing, comforting, exquisite smut, she's your gal! Seriously, everything she writes is phenomenal and so heart-wrenchingly beautiful. And her insights into Loki's character are always spot-on. (Also, I am incredibly excited for the 12 Months of Killing project.)

@sarahscribbles: Sarah is a master of the craft/queen of smut, and the way she blends softness and intimacy with such delicious, debauched filth never ceases to amaze me. Her sub!Loki fics have slain me more times than I can count, and I am completely infatuated with her soft dom!Loki. Also, her fluff is absolutely divine. And the way she writes banter? OH MY GOD. It's so natural, and the words just flow right off the page screen. I always have such visceral reactions reading her works and she makes me want to be a better writer if that makes sense. (And her ideas for the Sakaar Files? Just bury me already!)

@use-your-telescope: I've gotten quite a few sneak peeks into the world of E's Loki x OC long fic, The Trickster, and let me tell y'all: We are in for a treat! She is such a gifted, poignant writer, and her talent for storytelling blows my mind. The thought and care she's put into this fic is inspiring, and it's nothing short of magic when an author can effortlessly immerse the reader into the world they've created. (I've loved connecting with someone who thinks about Loki's motivations and psyche as much as I do!)

@tripleyeeet: OMG, the sheer talent! From the moment I first read What's the Occasion, I was obsessed and immediately wanted to be their friend. Summer's writing is so sensually poetic and leaves me STUNNED each time. The pacing is brilliant, and I am always fully absorbed in their works. Plus, their explorations into the complexity of Loki's emotions are perfect. (I can't wait to delve into their upcoming Loki x OC long fic, PREY.)

Basically, these are my four whores of the Loki apocalypse and you should follow them if you're not already!

[redbone135]

Hey!! I'm curious; why do you like vampires?

I promise I'm not being negative or judgey, I really am just curious and I don't think I've ever really asked you why they're one of your favorite creatures, and I'd genuinely like to know why :)

Also, does that mean you have an appreciation for vampire bats too?

So, not being negative or judgey, but what answer are you looking for? Like... what kind of answer have you come up with that makes it worth asking to confirm? 

Honestly, that’s a really hard question to answer cause I haven’t put much thought into it. I like what I like and sometimes it’s better to not ask myself why?

It would be really easy to write it off as a tangential thing. That a lot of the shows I like about vampires have incredibly talented writers or casts that tie into my other interests. Buffy shares some writers with Once Upon a Time and Torchwood, True Blood has Michael Raymond James and Lizzy Caplan in it,   Interview with a Vampire not only has a very talented author but stars Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise among many other big cast members. Vampires are popular in the kind of drama, soap-opera meets action adventure style shows I like to watch. So it kind of happens by accident in that regard. 

But that’s not the complete answer because before I was watching vampires, I was actively seeking them out in books. Pirates too. As a pre-teen I had to live with my grandmother for a little while due to some home-life stuff and out of sheer boredom - because she only took me to the library once a week and didn’t have cable - I might have started borrowing... yeah... that’s the word we’ll use... some books and movies that were not all that age-appropriate from the other old-folks in her community. You know the books I’m talking about... my grandma called them ‘fire books’. And as a librarian, I’m sure you’re aware that those kinds of books often feature vampires, pirates, and other morally grey heroes. That time spent there is also where my love of musical theater started, but I digress. It was a really formative age, and the loveable rouges in those books always got the girl and always saved the day, despite being ‘bad’ guys... and I guess part of that stuck.

I’ve mentioned to you before in passing that we come from different cultures, mine tended to be a lot more morally grey a lot younger in life. I didn’t have the role models telling me how to think or act, and the things I was exposed to young weren’t the best examples of good behavior either. I like the morally-greyness of tropes like vampires and pirates because they also don’t have the same easy definition of good and evil. For whatever reason, life hasn’t been kind to them, and they’ve had to make tough calls either out of self-preservation or fear. Pre-teen me related to that. They then have to build their own moral code the hard way, which is what I was trying to do at the same time I was reading all these books. And because they built their own moral code - because their morals came from themselves and not others - it often meant that they were a lot stronger in their convictions and it was that ambiguity that allowed them to thrive and be the hero because they were thinking very critically about the world around them and their place in it. I guess pre-teen me related to that too. 

I like good vampires because they have to ask themselves HOW to be good, it doesn’t just come naturally. I like bad vampires because they are an example of HOW easy it is to fall into traps when you let others define you. There is nothing better than a good vampire that overcomes, and nothing scarier than a bad vampire who is exactly what others say he is. 

So yeah - is that a suitable answer? Or were you looking for something a little more deviant :P

[l-mia]

Jasmine Roux

Jasmine has actually had a number of different iterations over time.

She started out as a bizarre self-taught doctor-artist in her own world. She had no credentials, and worked at the fighting pits, where she would heal the participants far better than the usual standard. But her ministrations came at the rather morbid cost of her laying claim to the bodies of those she healed once they eventually died, which was concerning because it was no secret what she did with those bodies she got hold of.

Jasmine was at this time more interested in the art of these things, and would create bizarre chimeras out of the things she caught. She was known for riding around on the most prominent of her creations, a bizarre dragon named Sunset, who was highly egotistical and incredibly proud of her origins and the fact that she was in essence a biological art piece - she thought it made her vastly superior to those around her. Jasmine encouraged this mentality, and absolutely loved Sunset.

She was also, at this point, an absurd drunk. Far from a professional surgeon, Jasmine was physically sick with the notion of the things she ended up doing at times, and because she couldn't handle the blood and gore while fully sober, would work while heavily intoxicated, relying on raw talent to get her by. Her life was a total mess, carried only by her sheer abilities.

Her second iteration of any significance was again as a drunk doctor, though one of very different origins. Once more a genius obsessed with the practice of healing, Jasmine adopted bizarre and dark magic into her repertoire in the name of the preservation of life. Her passion poured into the science of things, which once more she perceived as art.

Her experimentation however, brought on mistakes - the most significant of which as far as her story goes was her eventual affliction with lycanthropy, something she initially wasn't aware of but which came to a head after she devoured a patient of hers on the operating table.

Having essentially surrendered herself to the authorities in the aftermath, she served under the close watch of a ruler that was quite intrigued by her genius but obviously wary of her instincts leading to her losing control. Jasmine was impatient, rude, and had little interest in wasting her time with pleasantries. She just wanted to get her projects done, and someday be known for more than being "that doctor that ate her patients". In the meantime, she used alcohol to nullify the worst of her memories.

Jasmine's most recent iteration, contrary to the previous two, carries an element of bizarre positivity. Born in a more modern setting, with technology replacing magic, Jasmine's heart was instead poured into artistic endeavours regarding artificial intelligence and machinery. She worked a menial part-time job as a cleaner because it gave her time to think, and then came home to obsess over her projects, with her chief one being Day (a character from @miss-dhalgren).

Day, a former military-grade tank on legs, given sapient thought and a desire to learn in her own weird way, would essentially form a bizarre symbiotic relationship with Jasmine, controlling and grievously injuring her then putting her back together in a curious parody of what she did when redesigning her. Day was redesigned to look feminine, though still with a massive frame, and her learning AI latched onto a series of bizarre masochistic tendencies Jasmine possessed.

Practically inverted from her early iterations now, Jasmine is routinely cut into pieces. She takes a lot of comfort in it, and encourages Day to learn everything she can.

Besides, it's nice to be pulled away from her work to experience bizarre inhuman affection as opposed to because she passed out drunk again.

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: My Rogue to Ruin by Erica Ridley (The Wild Wynchesters #4)

Preorder

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: September 12, 2023

Synopsis:

The riotous Wynchester family has taken on a new case to expose a forger, but the prime suspect isn't at all what he seems in this captivating Regency romp from a New York Times bestselling author. Lord Adrian Webb is a no-good, roguish, rakish scoundrel of the first order, which is why his father sends him to the Continent and cuts him off without a farthing. When (penniless) in Rome, what's a disgraced gentleman to do, but dabble in some light forgery? After all, better to leave the original works of art where they belong instead of some English snob's drawing room. But soon his scheme snowballs out of control, and a blackmailer is out to ruin him. The Wynchester family is known for their daring capers to help those in need. Until now, Marjorie has always let her siblings take the lead when it comes to planning undercover work. But someone in London is trying to pass off counterfeits and this time she's the only one with the skill needed to find the culprit. Her investigations lead her straight to Lord Adrian Webb. But every time Marjorie thinks she's figured Adrian out, she learns something new that turns all her assumptions on their head. He's a sinner. A saint. A heartless scoundrel. A loyal brother. A liar. A good kisser. Er…wait… She can't afford to lose herself in the passionate embrace of a man she'll have to turn over to the magistrate as soon as the case is closed.

My Rating: ★★★★★

*My Review and Favorite Quotes below the cut.

My Review:

I always love Erica Ridley's books, and I love the Wild Wynchesters the most. A charming, witty family of orphans with unusual talents who dedicate their less-than-legal efforts to the protection of those in need. What's not to love?

This is Marjorie's book, and it was so nice to get more of an understanding of her character. She has hung back in previous books (for reasons nicely explained here) and so was the Wynchester I was least familiar with. She is not only an incredible artist and forger, she has synesthesia and has a stubborn, independent streak that has previously been well-hidden.

Adrian is a cheerful, charming forger who gets in trouble with a slimy crime boss and requires Marjorie and her family to rescue him. The banter and flirting between them was such fun, and I loved seeing two artists and creative minds working together and sparking ideas off each other. It was inspiring.

I read the entire book with a smile on my face and hated to see the story end. I don't think I could ever get tired of the Wynchesters' heists and capers and sheer chaos. This is definitely one of my favorite romance series. The story is fun and light and flows easily and the characters are well-rounded and feel like real people.

I can't wait for Elizabeth's book. I realize I've been saying that from the beginning, but it's still true. She always manages to steal the show for a bit from the sidelines for me. I'm terribly curious about Jacob's story as well. His trained animals also always steal the show a bit and inject a lot of humor into the story. How could adorable homing kittens and hedgehogs fail to charm?

I have preordered the audiobook so I can listen to the story again when I need to be cheered up. I highly recommend this series for fans of lighthearted Regency romps (one of my favorite genres).

*Thanks to NetGalley and Forever for providing an early copy for review.

Favorite Quotes:

Any book a reader chose to invest time in was by definition a worthy book.

---

“Finally,” Elizabeth said with feeling. “I thought I’d never get to use my sword.”

---

“Any excuse to create art is a good reason.”

---

Marjorie hooked her arm through Adrian’s. “We each have our talents.” Elizabeth brightened. “Is my talent murder?”