#also the men talking in this thread (and they are definitely men.. their forum pictures are selfies....) talk about dynaheir like the

[ecofear]

i was reading people talking about the bg1 npc project mod, which expands on the characters and adds a lot of new banter or romance, and this dude started to bitch and whine about how the writer for kivan characterised him, and this absolute gem of a person came in, started to dissect all his vanilla lines, his biography, everything, and picking it apart to say yes, the writer did in fact characterise him correctly, and did an excellent job of it. i feel so validated

[a9saga]

Sojin from girl's day is really hot. That's the post. No but ive been low key on a girl's day binge since around the time I posted expectation in September. I just really miss that time for girl groups, there was so much good music coming from all directions and they really mastered a particular image in the early to mid 10s. Think anywhere from miss A to 9muses. You didn't get a lot of plain cute, sexy, or girl crush style groups, you got a variety of groups whose styles musically and aesthetically could be described as some of those but had a cool, fun, stylish, feminine personality attached to whatever they did. And I think a lot of girl's day's big hits capture that time pretty well. And also sojin is gorgeous and mayhaps I was looking at pinterest boards of her and admiring that 🙄 don't you? But anyway. I stumbled upon something... something in my heart I knew must exist but I had never seen it with my own eyes on this side of international fandom. The photo I had found the link from, for the record, was not anything terribly racy. It was Sojin in a backless dress, nothing too exaggerated in the shot. But it had come from an "NSFW 18+" girl's day thread on... I don't know, it was any one of those forum sites for Korean or general Asian entertainment that I don't use. It must have been like 7 years old and most pictures in it were not available anymore.

There was a poll at the top, or two actually. The questions were "which girl's day member do you most want to sex up" and the second one was just for your second choice. And the replies were like, sexy fancams and gifs and screenshots of boob/butt/all right even some tiny up-short shots and no I don't mean upskirt shots I mean the tiny gap between the shorts fabric and thighs? Someone took those from a fancam of Minah dancing Female President. And in between this content people were talking about which members of the group they like to jerk off to the most and which one they were about to jerk off to right now. It suddenly occurred to me, like!!! Oh!! There are men here. Yall like girl's day? Um.. okay. Some people said some pretty rude things about Hyeri too. She was apparently the least favored of the guys in the thread.

See, 5 years ago or so, I had fucking had it with the sexual objectification of kpop boy groups by their own fans. Like, people can recognize misogyny. And sometimes those people would still post bulge compilations and make assumed dick size rankings and even estimated measurements! It crossed a line well beyond that of mere smutty fanfiction. Its dehumanizing to post close ups of guys' junk in their skinny jeans to attract the attention of any number of people looking to see that. Like you're kind of supposed to find boy groups sexy. Its not wrong or unnatural for boy bands to be a sexual outlet for you when you're young, if you haven't got a boyfriend your own age to explore with you might be fascinated by your new favorite kpop group. Fanfiction about real people is iffy but smut fanfiction is an inevitability of boy band fandom and that's one thing, as long as you don't take it to the real guys themselves. Bulge shots? That's not your imagination. That's not pretending Jungkook is your boyfriend. That's public objectification they definitely didn't agree to and that has to be really uncomfortable and embarrassing. I made a post about all that years ago that still gets the occasional note. But initially back in the day I got people who seemed to think I was just being a prude.

I always figured a Fei's Jiggling Tits compilation wasn't commonplace on tumblr for a lot of reasons but reason #1 is that it would obviously be offensive and disrespectful. Seeing just one page of that thread with most of the pictures removed was so surreal it was like I couldn't be offended. I felt an absence of shock, a real absence of reaction essentially. Given this was not the type of fandom I was acquired to, I could still understand it. Fanbases for late 2000s/early 10s girl groups on tumblr were not as common to fangirl over even in comparison to the newer ones like twice, red velvet, or even ioi, gfriend, or other already disbanded girl groups of the new generation. It's cause most girls like boys. Most kpop fans were girls. More thirst is targeted at boy groups. Some of those girls liked girls (🙋‍♀️ mee~ 🙆‍♀️ I did). Sapphic girl group fans have their thirst but I gotta we're a lot more respectful to the kpop idols of our gender overall. Men are out there liking my girl groups but to what extent do I trust them with that?

It also makes me wonder at what point is the line crossed? Like.. girl group marketing does not necessarily object to guys jerking off to the members. I certainly don't even think it's a crime to do it. Do what you want with it, I don't care. It's the public discussion and the attention drawn to this on the internet that I think is disrespectful. If I were dancing Female President in tiny shorts and you took a close up looking up those shorts I wouldn't be happy for you to post it. This is clearly looking into something intrusive. The line is somewhere before that point, I think. But it's not like they're sending this whole thread to the girl's day members and asking them directly for something. It's still in public. Is the line being crossed when you ask your own small corner of a kpop forum which members of girl's day you most want to "sex up"? How much thirst can you have in public? How horny on main can you be if it's not wrong to like the group as it's marketed to you? I don't fricking know. I wonder when my issues of philosophy class is going to begin this topic of kpop, fandom, and sexuality. This week we're on Marx.

[hdhdipsbg-blog]

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[n7soldiered]

          IMPORTANT  HEADCANONS  TO  CONSIDER  !

CAN THEY USE CHOPSTICKS:    Yes, he can use chopsticks.   I like to believe John is good at everything he does.  A jack of all trades but a master of none, however.   And as someone who is deeply connected to their Chinese roots, and raised in a traditional Chinese household, it pains me to say that he just stabs everything with them.  If there are noodles involved, expect him to swallow from the bowl.  ( and no, it's not rude table manners.  that’s a common misconception.  in asia, if you slurp or eat from the bowl, it's a compliment to the cook.  dunno about aliens tho ).

WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY CAN’T SLEEP:   I’ve been mulling over this for the past few days ( and im gonna go off tangent ), but I’m pretty sure I’ve repeated this enough times.  If he can’t sleep and there’s shit to be done, he’s probably working.  If there’s no work to be done, which is an odd concept in itself, John probably won’t know what to do with himself for a bit.  Because he’s a total square.  And because John suffers from severe PTSD.

He suffers night terrors, oftentimes, but mostly sleep paralysis and hallucinogenic nightmares.  His trauma stems from the events of his childhood to his apparent death, as well as post-reaper war etc.  His dreams mostly consist of suffocating while in the vacuum of space, stuck in his N7 armor with no air to breathe.  For that reason, he doesn’t prefer total darkness in his cabin, and he can't sleep without having on some light.  I’m also positive that his lover has woken him up in the middle of the night due to these issues.  Still trapped in his nightmares, John just stops breathing or he wakes up, shouting.

On the really bad nights, he'll quietly move his shit over to the crew bunks and sleep there.  But if he lies awake in bed for too long, he’ll get frustrated, I’m sure.  I can see him invading the mess for food, maybe even try cooking on his own.  In short, he does stuff he doesn’t normally get the chance to do.  Oh, and if there’s someone else awake, he’d chat them up because he can’t help himself.  John doesn’t like to be alone.

WHAT WOULD THEY IMPULSE BUY AT THE GROCERY STORE:   This is timeline dependent.  As a kid/young teen, he didn’t have the money to impulsively buy random shit in a store.  As for later on, when he is an adult and has more than enough credit chits to spare, John buys anything he thinks someone will like.  I.E:  new boots for Jane; new leather jacket for Ryan; a massive cake for Jyn;  new rifle for Garrus;  new amp for Kaidan;  new makeup kit for Jack;  the list goes on.  Forever.   It’s probably awful how much he spends but, then again, counting how much currency one can gain in-game, the man is sort of rich as fuck, so it works out?

WHAT ORDER DO THEY WASH THINGS IN THE SHOWER:    I HAVE DWELLED ON THIS QUESTION FOR TEN YEARS.    And it isn’t because I'm perverted, I swear.  It’s because I first have to wonder, what the fuck is on Shepard’s mind when he gets into the shower?  What is he thinking after a long, hard battle?  What’s going through his head, after he’s killed a score of over fifty men and women, human or otherwise?  Is there regret?  Has he any doubt in the choices made?  Was he injured, is he in pain?

Are his hands still shaking from adrenaline having seared through his veins, burned his nerve endings to slag?  Is he disjointed from reality, barely able to stand on his own, in his private quarters?  Has he bothered removing his armor, before getting under the spray?  Is he still covered in blood and guts, weighed down by dirt and dross?  Is he thinking about how he almost lost a squad mate, this time?  Does his mind leap to contingencies, questions;  what if he hadn’t been fast enough, would he have been able to handle the loss while all alone, in this moment of fleeting repose?

Does he wonder what if, one day, commander Shepard just isn’t enough?

I don’t think John really washes anything in order.  He gets under the shower, and he just — he just stands there.  For a while.  At least, until EDI warns him that he’s dipping into the emergency water reserves and that he can continue his shower once the Normandy goes through one recycle sequence.  In other words, he can continue his shower after waiting 30 minutes.  If John’s in a bad place—I’m talkin’ a really bad place, she shocks him with freezing cold water to get his attention.

John usually takes it without protest, save for tensing up or yelping out a half-bitten curse.  But he always thanks EDI.  Always.  And EDI always says you are welcome.

WHAT’S THEIR COFFEE ORDER:  Please, do not EVER give John watered down sugary seasonal frappe crap.  He will hate it.  John likes the taste of bold roasts.  Bit of sugar and cream.  He likes it sweet and bitter.

WHAT SORT OF APPS WOULD THEY HAVE ON THEIR SMARTPHONE:   I         I actually don’t know.  After thinking about this for a bit, I don’t think he’d have anything particularly interesting.  Weather app, news apps, forum/thread apps revolving around politics, world news, stock, and market.  I think John isn’t one to entertain himself with electronics when he could be doing pretty much anything else than staring at his omni-tool.  In a modern verse, it’s pretty much the same.  Perhaps, just slightly less boring?

His most interesting app would definitely be p!nterest or something—and I’m not saying that because I’ve been using it a lot lately lmao.  I think the visual stimulation is the only thing that could capture his attention.  Since I don’t exactly see him as a vain type, I doubt he’d like taking pictures of himself.  No Instagram account for himself or anything like that, but, he’d definitely have an Instagram account filled with pictures of his life, his lover, his family etc.  The contrast of pictures of his dog vs him is absolutely staggering.  Overall, he’s not huge on social media.  If you need to talk to him, find him yourself etc.

HOW DO THEY ACT AROUND CHILDREN:  Oh, lord.   John doesn’t …  okay, as of now, he doesn’t know how he feels about them.  Doesn’t know what to do around children.  I mean, he’ll do his best to console a crying child, and he’s held a toddler for pictures before, but that doesn’t really make him feel any better.  If you want me to get specific, he’s borderline terrified of babies.  How do you get them to stop crying?  How do you hold them without breaking them?  Just his one hand is larger than half the baby.  John won’t know what to do with himself.

That isn’t to say he doesn’t want kids.   Be it adoption, surrogate, lab-born, it doesn’t matter how; he wants a family one day, he really does.  It’s just ... when he thinks about babies—children—he gets terrified he somehow might hurt them.  And if he ever came to accidentally hurt his own child, I don’t think he would ever forgive himself.  Honestly?  If kids are around him, he’ll go stand in a corner and hope to god nothing blows up since things do have a tendency to suddenly explode around him.

WHAT WOULD THEY WATCH ON TV WHEN THEY’RE BORED & NOTHING THEY REALLY LIKE IS ON:    Once again, John just isn’t the type of person to waste time.  There’s too much for him to do.  He’d rather do anything else than suffer from ‘boredom’.

tagged by:  @kyberborne  thank you!! tagging:  @littleredrenegade @risenspectre

[captainglobalaskbuzrush-blog]

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QandA

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Quora

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MedHelp

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Ask any question and get an answer

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Quora

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MedHelp

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Ask any question and get an answer

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Google! Explanations

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Askville

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MedHelp

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‘The joke is always on us’: how People Just Do Nothing struck comedy gold

In a dimly lit room backstage at an underground club in east London, four men in their 30s share their masturbation secrets with me. Seapa finds it difficult at the moment: it hurts. Seapa also says (Seapa does most of the talking) that Steve does it with his legs behind his head, and that he spits on his... Well, I won’t say, in case you’re having your breakfast.

Anyway, he’s joking, he says. “We all wank perfectly normally.”

“Very healthy masturbation,” Asim confirms.

Until Seapa remembers Hugo. “Hundred per cent a fact: Hugo has to do it on his knees.”

They are proper friends from way back, with no secrets and no no-go areas

Rather than deny it, Hugo corrects him. “Not even on my knees,” he says. “Squatting on all fours.” He has an explanation, too, one that harks back to his teens and verges on the Freudian. “I think it’s when I had a family computer downstairs at this level,” he says, indicating its height. “Literally, the laptop’s there and my chin’s there…” I’m not totally picturing it, and not trying too hard, to be honest; the four of them crack up.

Apologies for sharing, but this is symptomatic of the entire 90 minutes I spend with Seapa, Steve, Asim and Hugo. These men know each other very well, are proper friends from way back, with no secrets, no no-go areas, and who cares if there’s a geezer from the Guardian here as well (“You’re a journalist, you’re not a human,” Seapa tells me). They relentlessly take the piss, out of each other, out of me; they’re boysy, rude, open, very funny – individually, collectively, all ways.

It has to be said that the line between fact and fiction isn’t always clear. I’d guess the story about Hugo is true, about Steve not (I hope). I’m not even sure how we got on to masturbation. Oh, yes, they were talking about “blazing” (smoking weed, something else they do a lot of, although there’s some talk of having stopped) and how it affects the senses, vision and touch, and it progressed naturally from there, do you see?

As well as being blazers and wankers, they – real names Allan “Seapa” Mustafa, Steve Stamp, Asim Chaudhry and Hugo Chegwin – are the creators, writers (principally Steve and Seapa) and stars of the award-winning BBC comedy People Just Do Nothing.

Big up PJDN

Confession: I’m a fan, big time. If you know the show, you surely will be, too – and if you don’t, you should get involved. A mockumentary sitcom centred on Kurupt FM, a pirate radio station broadcasting UK garage to not very many people at all in west London, it won a Bafta last year (beating Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag), which Seapa doesn’t let you forget.

People Just Do Nothing is not a million miles from The Office – in actual mileage (it’s about 10 from Brentford to Staines), as well as in format and vibe. They’re massive fans of Ricky Gervais’ show: Seapa’s character, MC Grindah, is a kind of tower-block David Brent, while The Office producer Ash Atalla has become their executive producer. (As well as Gervais, they mention Alan Partridge, Brass Eye, Peep Show, Spinal Tap, Summer Heights High and documentaries such as the BBC Three series Tower Block Dreams.)

But PJDN is much more than The Office at 130bpm. It’s a heartfelt homage to a very different world – beautifully observed, authentic down to the music samples and trainer brands, because it’s a world its makers know inside out, having grown up in it. It’s more than a television show, too; as Kurupt FM, they have toured clubs and venues, played Glastonbury and taken over Radio 1Xtra.

You don’t need to know your UK garage from your drum’n’bass, or be a pirate radio aficionado, to appreciate People Just Do Nothing. Because, more than anything, it’s about people – not doing nothing, so much as doing the wrong thing.

4x4 - The Kurupt playlist

Styling: Tanja Martin. Grooming: Kristopher Smith at Terri Manduca. Shot at hangarlondonfields.com. Photograph: David Titlow for the Guardian

I realise this could be getting a little muddly: four different characters, being played by four different people. Usually, for interviews, as with their live shows, Kurupt FM remain in character. Today, they’re letting the masks slip, but it’s a blurry line between the real and the invented. So, for reference, your cast:

MC Grindah, convinced he’s the greatest MC on the planet, unwisely unwilling to let go of the dream, unrelated to the dating app; played by Allan “Seapa” Mustafa, 33, who also writes.

It’s tricky, because pirate radio is such a boys’ club. We’ve worked hard to get more of the female perspective in there

DJ Beats, Grindah’s lieutenant, loyal and loving, in spite of Grindah’s bullying (he is like a badly treated labrador); played by Hugo Chegwin, 33. Hugo, incidentally, is a nephew of Keith “Cheggers” Chegwin. Doesn’t play pop, though.

Chabuddy G, their sort-of manager, a wheeler-dealer Arthur Daley kind of fella and hopeless entrepreneur; played by Asim Chaudhry, 31.

Steves, basically on drugs, a “wiggy mess”. If they were the Happy Mondays, he’d be Bez; played by Steve Stamp, 33, who also writes.

***

Even if you’ve never tuned into a pirate radio station, let alone been to one, you will know one or more of a Grindah, a Steves, a Beats and a Chabuddy G. Know and likely also love, because, despite their absurd foolishness, there is lots to root for, too.

It’s also about jokes – ongoing jokes, such as Angel, Grindah’s daughter with his girlfriend (later wife) Miche, who clearly isn’t – biologically speaking – Grindah’s daughter, on account of the colour of her skin (she’s mixed race; Miche and Grindah are white). Then there are the smaller, more ephemeral jokes, such as Grindah’s definition of salvation: “McDonald’s on the horizon when you need a shit.” Or Chabuddy G’s devotion to Sean Paul Gaultier fragrance. Or Chabuddy’s explanation of what hormones are: “Little balls of anger that live inside women.”

Lily Brazier as Miche. Photograph: BBC

Yes, PJDN is undeniably blokey. “It’s tricky, because pirate radio is such a boys’ club,” says Steve, possibly the most thoughtful of the four, and definitely the tallest. “I think we’ve worked hard to try and get more of the female perspective in there.” This comes mainly via Miche (the brilliant Lily Brazier, who grows into the role and demands a place at the cast’s top table).

“One thing I would say, though, is the joke is always on the men,” Seapa says. “Grindah’s pretending to be this bravado guy, but he always gets bit on the arse and looks like a dickhead in the end.”

The show’s pilot and the first four episodes were only loosely threaded together. But from the second series, story arcs began to form, narrative rainbows over the concrete Brentford skyline – themes, issues, even. Not just male hopelessness, but loss and grief, addiction, bankruptcy and homelessness, abusive relationships. Prepare yourselves – in the fifth and final series – for gentrification. And, sadly, for everyone having to grow up. First, though, back to the beginning...

Midpoint reload

If you’re up to speed, you’ll know this means going back to the beginning halfway through – just as Grindah does in the middle of Grindah and Beats’s track, Heart Monitor Riddim (Lyrical Blow To The Jaw). “So me and Steve used to run a dogging company, out of a car park in Guildford,” Seapa says in the dingy backstage room (the club was the location for today’s cover shoot; this room, though horrid, seems entirely appropriate).

“We were on a forum, because we all caught the same disease,” Hugo adds.

Neither is true (I don’t think). But they all agree that Hugo was central to the beginning of what became a beautiful thing. “Hugo’s the clitoris,” Seapa says, taking it back down there. That’s Seapa’s role, as well as doing most of the talking, and the reminding about their Bafta.

Hugo – more of an introvert, less readable, equally comfortable with filth – goes with it: “And these guys are my orgasm.” Loads of laughing at that.

Here’s the actual truth (I think). Hugo grew up next door to Steve in Brentford, on the other side of the M4 motorway from the towers of the Haverfield Estate, as featured in the show. Hugo met Asim (from Hounslow) and Seapa (from Chessington) at Thames Valley College through a shared passion for smoking weed and creating music. Hugo would make hip-hop beats in his room; Asim rapped and made videos. Seapa ran a tinpot pirate radio station, and hung around squat parties and raves.

Photograph: David Titlow for the Guardian

When Seapa and Hugo dropped out of college, they used their student loans to visit Steve in Thailand; he was travelling having finished uni (English literature at Sussex). They went to beach parties, where Steve, who wasn’t really taking serious drugs, would pretend to be on pills just for a laugh. (This was the birth of his character Steves.)

Back in London, they continued to hang out, smoking more weed, messing around with Xbox Live and early camera phones, creating more characters. They used to make prank calls, too, which is where Asim’s character, Chabuddy G, began, partly inspired by his father, a bit of a hustler who once ran a business from a portable office.

Takeover of The Charlie Sloth Show.

I wonder if Asim – warm and instantly likable – has ever been accused of stereotyping, playing a comedy south Asian businessman with a finger in a lot of pies? “I’ve had a bit,” he says. “But you have to look at the detail behind it, the layers of research that go into it, and the real-life connection you have to it.”

Chabuddy G could be any race or culture, he says; it’s his self-delusion that makes him funny. This is nothing like, for example, Hank Azaria, a white guy, doing Apu on the Simpsons. “No one talks like Apu in real life, no one says [he puts on an Apu voice], ‘Thank you, come again.’ A lot of people speak like Chabuddy, a lot of people dress like Chabuddy, a lot of people are Chabuddy.”

Anyway, Asim, who had been camera operator (because he had a camera), was now in it, as Chabuddy G, even if he wasn’t clear what it was.

People just do something

What would become People Just Do Nothing was born, chiefly, out of experience, hence the pinpoint authenticity. But the irony of authenticity is that a lot of work went into it.

They created their characters, and improvised material that they posted on Asim’s YouTube channel. Some of the people they knew wondered why the hell they were doing it, investing all this time and energy into posting YouTube clips (this was before everyone starting spending all their time posting YouTube clips).

“We were about 24, and everyone else was working, and we hadn’t really achieved anything,” Seapa says. “We didn’t start out like, ‘This is going to be on telly and earn money’, we just did it. We were in shit, dead-end jobs, but we always made sure we were doing something creative.”

At one point, three of them were working in the same call centre. Hugo also worked at a will-writing firm, in accounts (if he were in The Office, he’d be Tim).

The wedding of Grindah and Miche. Photograph: BBC

“All I had on my CV were admin jobs that I wasn’t proud of,” Steve says. “If I wanted to get something I enjoyed, I would have to create my own work and show that I can do stuff outside the admin world. There always needed to be projects – writing.”

Steve always wanted to write. “I didn’t know if it was going to be scripts or...”

“Romantic novels,” Seapa butts in.

“Romantic novels,” Steve agrees, going along with it, a little resignedly at first, then raising him. “Erotic novels.”

“At one point, you were into Ukrainian erotic novels, weren’t you?” Seapa asks, not just seeing him, but raising him further. And they’re all off again: they were all into Ukrainian erotic novels and read them aloud together, sitting back to back, topless, but no one wanted to do it with Asim, because of his back hair. Make up your own mind about the veracity of that one.

Urban powerhouse/radio station/family

The YouTube episodes were not an overnight viral sensation; the viewers trickled in over a couple of years. But the producer Jon Petrie, who worked with Atalla at the independent production company Rough Cut TV, saw them and got the boys in for a meeting in early 2011.

“They basically said, ‘Are you happy for us to approach channels on your behalf and try to get you a pilot?’” Steve says.

They were keen to – and did – retain creative control, hanging on to the baby that had been conceived over a big chunk of their lives, in their bedrooms, blazing, back to back (maybe). But they also got some help with things like how to write a script, which they hadn’t done before: the YouTube webisodes were all improvised.

Today, there is still room for improv to sneak in: they reckon it’s about 70-30 script to improv in the final cut. “We’ve been in these characters since 2010, so we’re very comfortable with them,” Asim says. “We know how they’re going to react, what they’re going to say.”

After the pilot went out on BBC Three in 2011, a series was commissioned, followed by a second, then a further two. The Bafta came after a poignant third series that ends – on Valentine’s Day – with a birth and a death.

With Craig David. Photograph: BBC

There’s irony in their success, too, because, while in many ways their lives mirror those of their characters, they have also left them way behind. A big part of the ongoing joke is that, while Kurupt FM claims to be the biggest and baddest pirate station in the land, even the more conservative claim of “over 100 listeners” is hopelessly optimistic – it’s probably time to think about throwing in the mic. Whereas for Seapa, Steve, Asim and Hugo, things are kicking off big time. It’s not just the series, the live show and the real radio station takeovers (where they hold their own alongside Stormzy and Craig David); there is the hilarious sketch they did with very game “urban artist” Ed Sheeran on Comic Relief last year (they attempt to make him “less shit”); Chabuddy G has a comedy advice book out, How To Be A Man; and if you’ve taken a British Airways flight recently, you will have seen him as the lead in the (actually funny) safety video. After this final series, there’s going to be a film, which they’re working on (they’ve been talking to the Inbetweeners people, who successfully translated their sitcom to the big screen).

You don’t have to go to the Edinburgh festival, or be in a drama club, if you’ve got a camera and funny friends

About all of which, they’re dead proud – not so much about where they’ve got to, more where they started from. “Where I’m from, no one I know has come into this industry,” Seapa says. “I didn’t even know it was an option.”

“You don’t have to come through the conventional route,” Asim adds. “You don’t have to go to the Edinburgh festival, you don’t need to be in a drama club, you don’t need to do this – you’ve got a camera, you’ve got funny friends.”

“For the younger generation who’ve grown up with YouTube and stuff, maybe we can be a small inspiration,” Hugo starts to say, before being interrupted by Seapa: “Hugo Chegwin, motivational speaker!”

More than anything else, People Just Do Nothing is – at risk of sounding cheesy – a massive shout-out to friendship. “You can be talented, you can be creative, but if you’re not in the right circles…” Seapa begins, and by the right circles he’s not talking about media contacts or LinkedIn connections. “These are my best friends. We were all cruxes [sic; he means crutches] for each other, spurred each other on – that’s why we got through.”

People Just Do Nothing in collaboration with Ed Sheeran for Comic Relief.

Speaking of sic, they don’t say sick (with a k, for Kurupt FM), as in good, as much as they do on the show. Or trust me. Or bruv. But they do finish each other’s sentences, as only people who are close do. Mostly Seapa finishes them.

What is clear – while we talk, but also watching them arse about in the photoshoot – is they enjoy hanging out together, and it’s from this, and trying to make each other laugh, that the comedy comes. “These are my funniest friends,” Steve says. “The more I work with other actors, I realise that, even though we’re not actors, what we do in front of camera is impressive.”

Asim agrees, and says that for him it’s mainly about trying to make Steve crack up. Hugo talks of the journey, the experiences, the bond they’ve formed – something that a lot of music acts don’t have.

Are they the Beatles of Brentford? “I don’t know,” Seapa says. “Have they got a Bafta?”

Our time is up and Seapa has the last word, unsurprisingly. Nor is the direction he takes it in surprising. “Nice little chat,” he says. “Hope that was good for you.” And he laughs, they all do. “It’s like we just had sex.”

• The fifth and final series of People Just Do Nothing starts on BBC Two next month. Kurupt FM tour the UK from 9 November 9.

Opening shot: Asim wears jacket, Balenciaga at Harrods. Tracksuit bottoms, Stone Island at Browns. Steve wears sweatshirt, Palace. Allan wears vintage jacket, Stone Island. Tracksuit bottoms, Stone Island at Browns. Hugo wears Camo polar jacket, Stussy at Mr Porter. Cap, Lacoste. Tracksuit bottoms, Stone Island at Harvey Nichols.

Commenting on this piece? If you would like your comment to be considered for inclusion on Weekend magazine’s letters page in print, please email weekend@theguardian.com, including your name and address (not for publication).

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2018/oct/27/the-joke-is-always-on-us-how-people-just-do-nothing-struck-comedy-gold

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Wild Sign Dumba; Bubble Keepers Lehkonen, Jenner (July 22)

Wild Sign Dumba, Bubble Keeper Week: Lehkonen, Jenner

The Wild have signed Matt Dumba to a five-year, $30 million extension. With Dumba’s bridge deal of $2.55 million now expired, salary cap owners will now need to set aside an additional $3.5 million per season for him. He certainly made good on his contract year, recording his first 50-point season (14g-36a). Prior to 2017-18, Dumba’s career high was 34 points, so this was a breakout in the true sense of the word.  

If you didn’t know that Dumba scored 50 points this past season, it might be because he got lost in the crowd. Dumba was one of 19 defensemen to score at least 50 points – a number that grew significantly from 2016-17 (just 9 d-men) and 2015-16 (12 d-men). This is the trend of the puck-moving d-man at work.    

There's a thread over on the Dobber forums from the last few days comparing him to Dougie Hamilton, who has a very similar contract. https://t.co/3ZEzRczMOR

— Alex MacLean (@alexdmaclean) July 21, 2018

For anyone thinking Dougie Hamilton no contest over Matt Dumba, you might want to check out the rankings and numbers in a multicategory league last season:  

  Yahoo Rank

G

A

+/-

PPP

SOG

HIT

BLK

Matt Dumba

56

14

36

15

12

176

136

112

Dougie Hamilton

81

17

27

1

12

270

83

80

I’m not necessarily saying pick Dumba over Hamilton in the coming season’s drafts. The thread presents some great arguments on both sides. But when you need a defenseman, you may want to wait on Dumba if he is ranked well behind Hamilton by the fantasy hockey providers.

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As you may have noticed by now with the picture of Dobber blowing bubbles (he looks right at home, doesn't he?), we’re starting a new mid-summer theme here at Dobber Hockey. Because we are now well into the dog days of summer when there isn’t a whole lot of hockey news (not to mention hockey), we need to find something interesting to talk about. Having written about fantasy hockey for a decade, I can tell you firsthand that finding fascinating content to write about during the middle of the summer isn’t always easy.

When it comes to the topic of keepers, you may have already made up your mind, even if you don’t need to for another two months. Or maybe you haven’t even given it any thought. Or when you have a spare moment, you start to think about this very important matter. “Should I keep Player X? What about Player Y?”

Different leagues have different numbers of keepers. Some allow you to keep a set number of players, while others are more flexible. So for Bubble Keeper Week, our articles will focus on players outside of the top 150 of Dobber’s keeper league rankings that keeper owners may not keep. Will we be able to unearth players worth keeping? Will it depend on the format? What is the thought process that goes into deciding which players to keep? Are there players you could consider drafting?

The players I’ll be discussing will be potential keepers that I’ll need to make a decision on. For many of you, these players might not matter to you (at least not right now). But I’d imagine that the select few owners of these players will feel like they’ve found that long-lost item at a garage sale or eBay – fantasy analysis on a player that doesn’t receive a ton of it.     

I’m going to kick things off with a player who is ranked just outside of the top 150 of Dobber’s rankings. This is a player who will likely be ranked well below 150 in pre-draft rankings elsewhere based on last season’s output, but has shown signs of a breakout in spite of a lack of NHL success over his two-year career, particularly last season.

Artturi Lehkonen

Lehkonen fits the definition of the type of player we want to cover in Bubble Keeper Week, as he was owned in just 6 percent of CBS leagues and just 2 percent of Yahoo leagues at the end of the season. After an encouraging rookie season in which he scored 18 goals and 28 points, Lehkonen was afflicted by the sophomore jinx to the tune of just 12 goals and 21 points in 2017-18.

A few things went wrong for Lehkonen this past season. Injuries happened to get in the way, as he missed 16 games during November and December with a lower-body injury. His shooting percentage was also down from 11.4% in 2016-17 to 7.3% in 2017-18. Not surprisingly, the Canadiens as a whole also declined offensively from 2.72 GF/GP in 2016-17 to just 2.52 GF/GP in 2017-18, a drop of 16 goals.

There are several encouraging signs for Lehkonen, however. He scored more goals (7) in the final quarter than he did the first three quarters combined (5). Despite his goal reduction, his shot total per game actually increased from his rookie season (2.16) to his sophomore season (2.48), indicating some possible bad luck. As well, Lehkonen’s overall icetime increased about two and a half minutes per game from 2016-17 to 2017-18, which included a one-minute increase in power-play time.

If Lehkonen plays close to a full season and can continue to take about 2.5 shots per game, he should reach 200 shots, a total that only 87 players reached last season. If he can up his shooting percentage to around 10 percent, then he would be rewarded with his first 20-goal season. This number could increase even more if fellow left wing Max Pacioretty is traded (potential return notwithstanding), as Lekhonen could pick up top-6 duty and even potential first-unit power-play time.   

Lehkonen fits the category of a potential deep sleeper. Don’t be fooled by the lack of offense last season. He’s a player who could pay off if drafted outside of the top 150. I’d even be willing to bet that he’ll still be available outside of the top 200. He was projected for 21 goals and 44 points in last season’s Fantasy Guide. Could he reach that total this season? You might just have to take a gamble, which is one that Dobber could back you on.

Boone Jenner

Jenner is ranked further down Dobber’s list, checking in at 267, just behind the likes of Noah Hanifin, Jake Muzzin, Brock Nelson, and Tyler Bozak. Perhaps lost in the free agency news of early July was the fact that Jenner was signed to a four-year contract with a cap hit of $3.75 million per season. So at age 25, alternate captain Jenner figures to be an important piece for the Jackets going forward. But how much of a fantasy impact could he make?

After breaking out with 30 goals and 49 points in 2015-16, Jenner regressed to 18 goals in 2016-17 to just 13 goals in 2017-18. Despite the drop, Jenner has still scored at least 30 points over his past three seasons, so at least there’s some consistency. The modest level of scoring the past two seasons is reflected in his end-of-season ownership levels of 19 percent in both Yahoo leagues and CBS leagues.

Yet in one particular league format, Jenner checks out quite well.

  Yahoo Rank

G

A

+/-

PPP

SOG

HIT

BLK

Mark Scheifele

117

23

37

19

16

125

57

31

Boone Jenner

118

13

19

1

3

187

205

83

Erik Karlsson

119

9

53

-25

18

196

58

120

William Nylander

120

20

41

20

12

184

21

18

Cam Atkinson

121

24

22

19

10

231

32

29

  Look at the names around him… Scheifele? Karlsson? Really? Well, Scheifele missed 22 games, while Karlsson missed 11 (and lost considerable value with the minus-25). Maybe a comparison with Nylander is more suitable. Aside from the very similar shot totals (Jenner played seven fewer games), these two couldn’t be more opposite. Pure points leagues, it’s no contest. But throw in the hits and blocked shots and their values are much closer.

How valuable was Jenner in the hits category? Jenner finished 20th among all skaters and 11th among all forwards in that category. Unfortunately, the league that I have to make a decision on Jenner doesn’t count hits, so I would have a hard time keeping him. But if he’s on your bubble and your league counts hits, you might have to think long and hard about this one.

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From Friday: Recently returned from being stranded on a deserted island, Elliotte Friedman provides the latest on Artemi Panarin, Erik Karlsson, and Max Pacioretty.  

Where will Erik Karlsson end up? @FriedgeHNIC has the latest rumors. #NHLTonight pic.twitter.com/lyufXIGobJ

— NHL Network (@NHLNetwork) July 20, 2018

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Finally… I wasn’t a big fan of the first Ducks’ jerseys when the team was brand new. But I don’t mind these throwbacks. Mix of old and new. Much better than those "Kachina" jerseys that the Coyotes are using as their thirds, at least.  

Our silver anniversary deserves a proper throwback. Here’s our exclusive #Ducks25 third jersey! MORE INFO: https://t.co/GrO3taRFR4 pic.twitter.com/qpIDk6CtZX

— Anaheim Ducks (@AnaheimDucks) July 21, 2018

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For more fantasy hockey information, you can follow me on Twitter @Ian_Gooding.

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-wild-sign-dumba-bubble-keepers-lehkonen-jenner-july-22/