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secretsandpurplethoughtss · 9 months ago

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MCL Castiel: One Step into the Future

♥ pairing: Castiel x Candy (named Ella), Lysander x another Candy (named Crystal) - both female, using she/her pronouns

♥ wc: 6'768

♥ summary: Castiel's girlfriend is pregnant, and he is having a tough time with that because of his issues with his parents. He goes to Lysander's farm to reconnect with him (after growing apart when Lysander moved away) and hopes to sort out his issues with his former best friend.

♥ warnings: mention of negelect, fall-out (friendship), mention of death (parents), unhealthy relationships w/ parents

There were three things Castiel Veilmont was sure about all his life:

He’d become a famous musician.

He didn’t necessarily need many people around him to enjoy his life.

He would never ever have children.

As time passed, Castiel knew he was right about all these things. His band was getting more beloved by the day, and he loved every minute of the rockstar lifestyle. If he continued playing his cards right – following his passion, creating music, and having fun, Castiel knew that one day, he and his bandmates would sell out entire stadiums. Right now, they were just playing at festivals and doing small tours across the country, but their fan base and the clicks on their music videos kept growing. His professional life and also his private life seemed to be going well. He didn’t have many people around him (he always suspected this would be the case). Still, those he held close to his heart not only inspired him to create more meaningful songs but also encouraged him to be the best version of himself, a version he never even thought he could ever be. Castiel, of course, often found himself thinking about Zackary, his old bandmate, once one of his best friends, but his betrayal didn’t hurt as much as it did in the beginning. He knew that he and his band “Crowstorm” were thriving and were definitely better off now than before with Zackary, even if he was thankful for all the things Zackary did for the band in the past. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much of a mourning period after Zackary left: Jules replaced him almost immediately. Castiel and Jules knew each other as teenagers but hadn’t been in contact for years. She heard all about the drama that was going on with Crowstorm at the time and how Zackary tried to get Castiel cancelled and kicked off the group – and so, Jules reached out to catch up and to show sympathy regarding his situation. The two of them met up for coffee and talked for hours. He ended up introducing Jules to his other bandmates that night (Gabin and Leopoldine), and they played music together. Jules was not only excellent but also a natural fit for the band. Maybe even more natural than Zackary once was. There was no doubt in Castiel’s mind that Zackary always gave his all, but Jules was more playful and curious, letting them sometimes just explore their ideas for hours, and was okay with not making any progress on songs and albums in the name of art. This freedom made them better musicians, made their new albums more exciting, and although they dreamt of getting big one day and were quite serious about doing so, with Jules, the feeling of “just a bunch of friends having fun while making music” was found once again.

Even Castiel’s girlfriend, Ella, seemed to notice the changes in Castiel’s demeanor whenever he came home from practice or writing sessions.

“I know that Zackary was a good friend for a long time, but… I love how you changed with him gone and Jules in the picture.” Ella told him one night as he sat at the counter, watching her “cook” their dinner.

“Am I really that different? Or are you just crushing on Jules? You know she has a girlfriend, right?” he joked lightheartedly about Ella’s “obsession” with Jules.

“Very funny. You know you should quit being a rockstar and become a comedian! Then I wouldn’t be the only one who had to hear your smart jokes.” She rolled her eyes but still smiled as she stirred whatever she was making in the pot. “You did really change, though. You’re less stressed, you come home smiling and with flowers… and you’re just so inspired all the time now!”

Castiel nodded thoughtfully, reflecting on the stark contrast in his demeanor. He vividly recalled the days of seething anger and overwhelming stress, moments when he contemplated abandoning everything - the band, the music. But since Zackary’s departure, those thoughts had ceased to haunt him.

“You know… The inspiring part is also thanks to you.” He got up and put his arm around Ella from behind. He knew he was lucky with her – even if she was absolutely horrendous in the kitchen, and he fought his “fight or flight reflex” every time he was forced to eat one of her home-cooked meals. Even with that in mind, Ella was everything he not only wanted in a partner, but also everything he needed.

Life became… easy at some point. Castiel was good at the whole “rockstar” thing, even parts he never imagined he would be – like all the photoshoots, interviews, and social media stuff he used to hate. He liked his privacy, sure, but he naturally became more outgoing, easy-going, and less angry as he kept getting older and enjoying the life he was building. Though he wished he could not post so much on his Instagram account and people wouldn’t try to take pictures of him wherever he went, he was getting used to it all. He enjoyed the predictable moments with Ella and his friends, but he liked the surprises and “adventures” his job had in store for him. But as he settled into his life, there was a “surprise” he never in a million years expected: Ella was pregnant.

She told him over Facetime while he was on tour with Crowstorm… In the beginning, she wanted to wait for him to come home and tell him in person, but she looked and sounded so stressed during their daily video call that Castiel kept asking and pushing her about why she was acting so strange. “I know we talked about having kids before, but… we never came to an actual conclusion. You were never the biggest fan of having kids, but we’ve grown and changed since we last had this conversation… so I guess I’m asking you where you’re at right now?” she asked him.

Whenever the conversation about having kids arose, he told Ella about his worries about being a good father and not having any idea what a good father was actually supposed to be like. Not to mention how busy he and Ella were all the time – he knew very well what it was like to be the child of two busy people, people who were married to their jobs, who put their passion above their family. Growing up, Castiel often wondered why his parents ever decided to have him, when it was always clear to them that they’d never be around. His father, Jean-Louis, was a pilot before he was a father, and his mother, Valerie, was a flight attendant before she was a mother. They barely spent any time at home, and up until the age of eight, his grandmother looked after him, always coming around and cooking meals and helping him with his homework. Then she died, and Castiel was left alone, growing very independent but also always finding himself in uncomfortable situations, making excuses about his parents’ whereabouts whenever he did the weekly shopping at the store, ran into the mailman and the neighbors outside, or when someone important called the house phone, wanting to speak with his parents. Castiel spent his days in solitude and became an absolute loner – later in life, he often wondered if he would have ended up more social if he had grown up different, more normal, and more traditional. At some point, he stopped thinking about the “what could have been,” though.

Thankfully, his parents gave him his best friend, Demon, one Christmas. Castiel suspected they might have felt guilty about never being around but not guilty enough to make a change regarding their professional lives. As a kid, he would have loved to have his parents around more, but even then, he knew it would never happen, so he took the win: Demon became his family. The two of them would do everything together. He dropped him off every morning at dog daycare before school, trained him, took daily walks with him, and found himself taking his dog everywhere. Restaurants on rare occasions, he went out to eat, band rehearsals with his first band (old band), or even just to spend time at the beach on those hot summer days. When Castiel found out that he had a half-sister, who was six months younger than him, from an affair his father had while his mother was pregnant with him, things drastically changed. Violet, his sister, moved in with him because she couldn’t stay with her mother or her mother’s side of the family any longer, and suddenly, there was more life in the house he lived in than ever before. He had to learn what it meant to share his space – because he definitely didn’t even try to do so on those couple of days his parents were at home out of anger at them – and how to be part of a family that didn’t mean just his dog. And while Castiel became an exemplary brother, looking after his little sister – because Violet definitely needed to be looked after – he never believed himself to be a great caregiver or a possible father figure. Castiel’s family was so different from everyone else’s; he had such a vague idea of what an actual family was supposed to look like that the thought of having children of his own terrified him. Ella gave him time to process, and she promised she wouldn’t bring it up until he had time to think – the deadline was the day he returned home. He wanted to uphold his promise, but the tour was a great distraction, which he happily used for the following three weeks. The day he was supposed to go home and have a conversation with his girlfriend about what their family would look like in the future, he felt physically sick standing in front of the apartment building, unable to walk in and face the reality of seeing Ella pregnant. Although he had just gotten off the tour bus and he knew Ella was waiting for him in their apartment, he took a taxi to the train station. He told himself he wasn’t really running away as he bought a ticket to visit an old friend… Lysander.

Lysander and Castiel were best friends in high school but slowly grew apart after college. He knew this had a lot to do with Lysander’s parent’s death, the event changing Lysander into someone Castiel had difficulty recognizing from time to time. Lysander moved back home onto the family farm, the same farm he was running away from when he decided to move in with his older brother, Leigh, and lead his life in the city at the age of fourteen. All the plans Lysander, not only him, but the two of them had together were suddenly not important anymore: Lysander was desperate to connect with his dead parents and to please them even, or really, especially in death by overtaking the farm he used to hate growing up. Instead of a famous poet, composer, musician, or singer, Lysander became a farmer. Castiel was, of course, aware that he was a talented musician. Still, even he knew he’d probably never get on Lysander’s level because Lysander was special – a prodigy who walked away from the obvious path he should have taken. For years, he tried to convince Lysander to take back his own life, to live his life the way he desired to live it before he let his parent’s death control him, but Lysander never budged, and they just became angrier and more frustrated with each other. Castiel knew that Lysander wouldn’t have stayed in his life if it wasn’t for Ella’s twin sister, Crystal, the woman Lysander now called his wife. So, he and Castiel remained friendly for their partner’s sake, but their relationship didn’t feel like a friendship anymore. Castiel didn’t want to give up on the Lysander he once knew, and Lysander was furious with him for that. Surprisingly, even though they hadn’t talked (really talked) in a long time, Castiel found himself on a train to the farm, texting apologies to Ella for not coming home, for not being ready to talk to her about their future. Ella was furious with him, especially because she couldn’t understand why he would rather speak to Lysander, the guy who hadn’t been his friend, let alone his best friend for years at that point, than with her, his partner. Castiel couldn’t explain this sudden urge to see Lysander either, but he was somehow the person he needed at that moment – Castiel just hoped that Lysander wasn’t too mad at him to help him through this, and that Lysander didn’t completely change, unable to provide him with whatever he was looking for.

Crystal: Castiel, please tell me you didn’t actually run out on my pregnant sister!

Crystal: Is it true that you’re coming here for some reason?

He texted back and forth with Crystal, confirming that he was not only a colossal asshole but also an idiot for doing whatever he was doing. After five hours on the train, where he was either texting the twins (who were both pissed at him) or catching up on some much-needed sleep, he arrived at his destination, and Crystal was waiting for him at the station, clearly unhappy with the situation Castiel pulled her into.

“I’m guessing no hugs by your face.”, he tried to joke as he walked towards her.

Crystal was much more even-tempered than her twin, more logical than emotional. Yet, Castiel knew that he had majorly fucked up because he had never seen Crystal look at him or at anyone else before the way she was measuring him up then. “You should be glad I’m not putting you back on the train! Or punch you, for that matter...” she told him with ice-cold eyes and a dry tone.

She wasn’t a violent type or a person who made threats, so this was out of character for her. He made her act like this… She hadn’t talk to him this way even when he and Lysander fought.

“Where is Lysander?” he ignored the comment as he knew he deserved it.

“Working. Just because you decided to show up without even asking us first, doesn’t mean our world stops. If you’d ever visit us, you’d know that owning a farm is a lot of work, and we can’t really do anything spontaneously.”, she explained to him as he put his luggages in the back of the dark green pick-up truck. She was right about this – Castiel refused to visit them and to accept that Lysander and Crystal living on this farm was not just a temporary thing. He had no idea what the farm looked like, and he only had a handful of information about it because, over the years at family gatherings, he has overheard both Lysander and Crystal talking about running it.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel apologized to her as they both took their seats in the truck. Crystal didn’t start the car; she just looked forward, thinking hard about what she wanted to say to him.

“I understand that you had a difficult and very different childhood than most people get in life, but Ella and I also did not grow up under normal circumstances. I cannot comprehend why you would ever think she would not understand your fear of becoming a parent.”

Castiel, of course, knew that the Shepherd-Quinn children weren’t really raised by their parents but by their nannies, chefs, and other staff members. Like many children born into wealth, when it came to parental figures, they first thought of people who worked for them, then their actual parents. Still… this was different. The twins and their older brother, Xavier, had people to look up to, and they had parental figures in their lives – it just wasn’t the people who were their actual parents. Castiel had no one he could consider a parent or a parent-like figure.

“It’s not the same thing. I… I know that Ella would understand to an extent, but… It’s just not the same thing.”

“Well, Lysander’s situation is even more different. He had two very loving parents who raised him until he turned fourteen and left for the city. Even after he moved out, his parents called him daily and looked after him from afar.”, Crystal argued, still not starting the car.

“I know that! Crystal, I can’t explain myself, okay? I don’t know why it’s Lysander who I need right now, but it is!”

“Okay...” without looking at him, Crystal started up the car and began driving towards the farm.

Some sad song was playing on the radio, which further worsened his already sour mood, but Castiel was too scared to ask Crystal to change the station or to change it himself. During the entire drive, they didn’t speak – which was unusual. They have always gotten along and always had something to talk about: Castiel feared that he’d also finally lost Crystal, just like how he lost Lysander.

Even during the drive Castiel, could already see what both Lysander and Crystal liked about living in the countryside. While Castiel loved living in the city, he could finally recognize the beauty and the appeal of living in a small town like the one they lived in. Sure, the roads were bumpy, and some of the streets they’d driven on didn’t have actual roads, but there was beautiful nature all around them, with kids playing on the side of the roads and fat cats basking in the sun after they’d hunted down the dozens of country mice roaming around in the fields. Never in his life before did Castiel appreciate the simplicity of small towns, so he found himself ashamed of dragging them to filth in many arguments before with Lysander.

When they arrived at the Ainsworth family farm, Castiel was even more surprised because it did not look the way he had imagined it would. When they were teenagers, Lysander often told him how old and run-down the entire place looked, but it seemed like he and Crystal managed to renovate it into something straight out of a children’s book.

“This place is huge!” Castiel looked around with a wide-open mouth as he exited the car. “What crops are you guys growing here?”

“Carrots, corn, tomatoes, wheat, sunflowers, strawberries, grapes, and pumpkins. We also have some apple trees.”

“And you have bunnies, right?” Castiel knew that Lysander stopped eating meat when he took over the farm, feeling bad for eating the animals he was raising. Crystal was vegetarian before that. The two of them only had rabbits to sell because they found rabbits adorable. “Yes. Alongside our chickens, cows, sheep, goats, horses, llamas, our cat, Chubbs, and our dog, Belle.”

Castiel couldn’t start to imagine how much work it was to keep such a vast farm running and how many people Lysander and Crystal had to employ and keep their eyes on. Not to mention that, unlike Lysander, Crystal didn’t work full-time on the farm as she often drove into the city for performances – she was a relatively well-known opera singer.

“I am not sure where Lys is but let us go inside for now.”

Crystal showed him to one of their guestrooms. “Do you want to lay down for a while? You look tired, and Lys won’t be back in the house for hours…”

Castiel was itching to see Lysander and finally talk to him, but he also hadn’t slept well for a while, so he agreed to rest until Crystal came to get him. He slept in the soft, comfortable bed until 4 pm and would have slept longer if it wasn’t for Crystal waking him up.

“Rise and shine, Cas! Are you hungry?”

He was starving.

When they went downstairs into the kitchen, Castiel realized how authentic this house was to who Lysander and Crystal were. He always imagined it to be more representative of the previous owners, Lysander’s parents, but that wasn’t true at all. The colors, the furniture, and the decorations screamed of Lysander’s and Crystal’s taste. Although Lysander moved back here for his parents, it did seem like he made his new life here into something that was his own.

“You are gawking…” Crystal commented as she walked over to the kitchen counter, where freshly made, warm fennel carrot soup was on the stove. “Do you care for some soup and homemade bread?”

Castiel always knew that Crystal was way better in the kitchen than Ella, as Crystal had always been interested in cooking and learned to cook from their private chefs. He just never knew that it was a crime that Crystal didn’t own a five-star restaurant of her own – the bread she made from scratch, and the carrot soup she had given him was the best meal he had ever had.

“So, where is Lys?” he asked between bites, sitting at the long wooden table. Crystal has set the table for three, but Lysander was nowhere to be seen.

“Probably got distracted with something. He is horrible with time, you know that.”

He did know that about him and was glad that after all these years, there was something about Lysander that stayed the same.

“Are you guys… are you guys happy here?”

Crystal gave him a disapproving look regarding his question, thinking he was about to start another argument about their chosen lifestyle.

“No, no, no, I mean it for real… Is this life making you happy?”

Crystal eased back into her chair and smiled for the first time since Castiel had arrived. She smiled similarly to how Ella smiled, making Castiel’s heart tug as he thought of his girlfriend at home in their apartment. “You know this already, but I have never imagined living on a farm, much less running it. But this life… this was meant for us. And farm life is hard work, but we love it very much.”

“Lysander loves this?”

“Every second.” she nodded. “I am sure that a lot of it has to do with his parents and his childhood, but Lys is a sensitive soul, so he loves caring for animals and does appreciate seeing the results of his hard work. Plus, even you must admit that this place is beautiful.”

“It does have a certain charm…” he sighed, making Crystal’s smile more prominent.

“Finally! He caves.”

“Not fully…” Castiel put up his hands defensively. “But this visit was long overdue.”

“That is an understatement.”

Just as Crystal finished her sentence, Lysander appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing an ancient, flowy beige blouse and dark green overalls. He was wearing a giant sunhat over his white and black hair, and as he was walking towards them, he was peeling off black gloves from his hands.

“Hello there.” he nodded towards Castiel before leaning down to Crystal and kissing her. “It smells great in here.”

“Today’s dinner is carrot soup and fresh bread.”

“God bless you.” Lysander put his glowless hand over his stomach to signal his hunger. Then he walked over to the sink, washed his hands and arms, and even splashed water on his face. In the meantime, Crystal got up to pour him some soup in the baby blue-white soup bowl she had set the table with and to cut him a couple of pieces of bread.

It was still hurtful that Lysander and he now either greeted each other with a slide nod or with a handshake when, back in the day, they exchanged huge smiles and hugs, whenever they ran into each other.

“How is everything with the… crops and animals?” Castiel tried to make conversation, though it came out incredibly awkward. Lysander gave him a surprised look, probably because Castiel had never even faked interest in the farm before, but once Lysander composed himself, he answered honestly.

“Good. I think Precious will give birth soon.”

“P-precious?”

“Oh, right. Precious is one of our rabbits.”

“Oh!”

The conversation ended there because Castiel had no idea what else he could say. He was scared of accidentally causing an argument, and he didn’t know how to converse with Lysander anymore. Once Lysander sat down to eat, he and Crystal were more or less only talking about the farm business, and Castiel kept quiet, eating dinner and listening to them. Just from today, he understood that what Crystal said at the train station was not really to hurt him, but instead the simple truth: their lives didn’t stop just because he decided to come by, and they couldn’t really do “spontaneous” things, and visits, because running the farm was colossal work. As he continued to listen to them and eat the delicious food before him, he was amazed at just how normal this conversation between them seemed: they talked about animals that soon would need a checkup, ranch hands and their performances, and other things Castiel didn’t fully understand because he knew nothing about crops. This was their daily life, but Castiel had never even tried to imagine them like this because he was too stubborn to do so. Crystal and Lysander were in their element, discussing their farm and family business. Castiel wished he could have turned back time and been more supportive of them, especially Lysander. Leaving the city behind didn't seem like a mistake; he appeared at ease, and if it wasn't for Castiel's surprise visit and overall idiocy, Lysander might have appeared happier.

“Okay, well, we can discuss this later.” Crystal finished up the conversation once they had all finished eating and were just sitting at the dining table.

“I’ll do the dishes.” Lysander stood up, but Crystal gave him a stern look.

“No, you won’t. Not today… You two need to go outside and have a conversation. No hiding, no more excuses and distractions.”

Lysander looked bothered because he most certainly did not want to do what he was told, but nonetheless, he started walking towards the door.

“Go on…” Crystal nodded at Castiel, who also got up to follow Lysander outside.

It was already half-six, and the sun was setting with beautiful colors—pink, yellow, and purple. Castiel wished Ella would be on his side to show her how beautiful it all looked.

“So…” Lysander sat on the porch, and Castiel sat beside him. They didn’t look at each other for multiple minutes, both deep in their thoughts, not sure how to start the conversation. Castiel knew that it was the least he could do to start the conversation, apologize, and explain his behavior not just today but also for the past two years.

“The longer I spend here at the farm, the more I can see just how perfect it is for you and Crystal.” he admitted. This sentence surprised Lysander so much that he turned towards him with an open mouth and big eyes. Castiel understood this reaction—the way he had talked about the farm ever since Lysander decided to leave the city behind was vulgar, to say the least. “Did Crystal slip you some drugs when I was working?” Lysander asked, more serious than joking.

“No, I think I just… Now that I’m confronted by all of this, I get it more or less. Why you did it, why you enjoy it, and… that it’s much more you than I imagined. I thought you were lying to yourself all this time when it came to this place, and although I did have your best interest at heart, I just… I fucked up. I was too angry with you and this place to even consider how all of this might be good for you.”

Lysander stayed quiet for a long time. Castiel didn’t expect him to forgive him, but he did hope for a response – even if it was negative. Before talking about all the craziness of his future with Ella, he just wanted to address "the elephant in the room," and he knew that he owed an apology to Crystal and Lysander. He also desperately craved a cigarette, but he forgot the pack up "in his room."

"You really grew," Lysander commented with a hint of a smile. "When we were teenagers, you were so stubborn you would have never admitted to being such an idiot. You got better in college, but now…"

Lysander didn't finish the sentence; he just turned away from him and watched the view thoughtfully. Castiel knew Lysander was right, and that age and his life experiences made him more "mature." He was still quick to anger and too stubborn for his own good, but at least he learned to recognize his mistakes (though, this time, it was way too late) and how to apologize for them. He also learned how to let go, which he struggled immensely with. Castiel was often caught up in "alternate universes" he was creating in his mind, where things ended up working out differently, like his parents giving him more attention when he was a kid, his ex-girlfriend Deborah not choosing her music career over him, or Zackary didn't betray him, throwing away their friendship. Accepting things and moving on was hard for him, but every time he was disappointed in the past twenty-seven years of his life, he was forced to move on from these bad memories – otherwise, he would have ended up as a genuinely bitter and miserable man. For three years, Castiel couldn't accept Lysander's choice to become a farmer instead of a musician or artist. For three years, he destroyed their friendship because he was so sure he was right and too stubborn and hurt to listen to what Lysander was telling him.

"I still think that you're one of a kind. And it's a crime not to share your talent with the world, but I know that this is your choice and that it's not about me and the plans we made when we were young.

Not everything is about me, he reminded himself Castiel.

"Thank you." Lysander turned to him again, and his hidden smile was no longer hidden. Although Lysander had always been a hard person to read, Castiel knew that at that moment, he was proud of him. "This means a lot."

They fell quiet, watching the scenery in front of them. Castiel felt like an invisible weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He and Lysander were not back to being friends. Castiel knew he had to earn back that friendship and that it would take time, but at least all the bad blood between them had disappeared. It was a clean slate, a fresh start.

"I have to ask…" Lysander was the one who broke the silence. "What is happening with you and Ella? Why would you run out on her like this? I know that the idea of becoming a father is terrifying to you, but…"

Castiel immediately felt his heart tighten. He had never run off before – he and Ella would always talk (and often scream) things out whenever they had problems. This was so unlike him, and it must have hurt Ella.

“I don’t know if Ella can ever forgive me for this,” Castiel admitted. “Hell, when I go home, she can punch me in the face, and I’ll gladly let her. I deserve this. I never thought I had it in me to act like such a scum and to hurt the woman I love, fully conscious of my actions.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because… I’m going to lose her. Whatever I decide on, I know that I’m going to lose her, and it made my entire body tense up and run because I can’t and simply… couldn’t even dare think about a future without her.”

“Lose her? Why would you lose her?”

Castiel closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing and not concentrate on his racing heart and tensed-up muscles. Even just talking about it felt like he was dying.

“Because I don’t know how to be a father, especially not a good father. If we have children, I will blow up our lives! She’ll see me fail, and not only will she hate me for my failures, but so will my kids… And if we decide against having children… let’s just say that even though we talked about it many times in the past, during that Facetime call with Ella when she told me she was pregnant, I could tell that she wanted this pregnancy and that she wants to be a mom. I can’t ask her to get an abortion; that’s just not right…”

“Castiel, you’re not going to be a bad father…” Lysander wanted to continue, but Castiel caught him off.

“You don’t know that! Out of everyone, you know the best that I don’t know how a family should function and what one’s relationship with its parents is supposed to be like! How can I become a parent when I don’t even know what parents are supposed to be like? And I’m gone A LOT, which will be even more so in the future! I’m lucky with Ella, but even leaving her behind is killing me, even though she keeps reassuring me about it! I can’t do the same thing to a child, but I don’t want to give up my dreams!”

His head started hurting because he “couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“You won’t have to give up your dreams! Come on, Castiel, Ella is your biggest supporter! I’m sure that you’d be able to work something out!”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’d have no idea what the fuck I would be supposed to be doing!”

“Most new parents also have no clue… and… Castiel… Look, you are thinking about what’s best for your child already! Your child is not even born, but you’re already looking out for them! That’s what parenthood should be about! You do your best and want the best for your child! That’s all one can do! Someone who already cares for their kid, when they’re not even a baby yet, won’t be a bad father… And you’re forgetting about Ella! You guys are a team; you won’t be alone! And although she didn’t have the most “usual” childhood either, she had people looking after her, so if you have questions or worries, you can always go to her!”

With every sentence that left Lysander’s mouth, he felt calmer. He was so blinded by his fear until this moment that he couldn’t think clearly, but now…

“There are classes you guys can take, books you can read, and forums you can visit. That and teamwork will guide you! Plus, you can ask your friends who are already parents for advice.”

“True, but we don’t know many parents. Only Leigh and Rosalya…” he muttered to himself.

“Actually…” Lysander coughed into his hand awkwardly before giving Castiel a shy smile. “You also have Crystal and I.”

It took Castiel an embarrassingly long minute before he understood what Lysander meant by that.

“Wait…! Is Crystal pregnant?”

“Yes. We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while, but because of these current circumstances…” Lysander teased.

“Oh my God! Congratulations!” Castiel jumped up and pulled Lysander up with himself. He gave him a big, very tight, and real hug. It has been a while since they shared a hug, let alone such a joyous and real one.

“Thank you…” Lysander whispered as he eased into the hug.

“Man! This is amazing! You guys are going to be parents!”

“I see Lysander broke the news…” Crystal showed up with two beer cans in her hands. “These are for you boys!”

Castiel rushed over to her, took the beers out of her hand, and put them down before giving her a big hug, too. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you, thank you… Although, if you would like to meet your niece or nephew one day, I suggest you ease up on the hug a little.”

Castiel laughed as he let her go. “Sorry, I’m just so happy for you guys! This is amazing! We have to toast!”

Crystal smiled and watched as Castiel opened the beer cans and handed one to Lysander.

“Would you like water or anything else?”

“No, no, I am fine. I don’t need anything.”

“Well, if that’s the case, congratulations to you both! You are going to be… wonderful parents! I can’t wait to meet my nephew or niece! And if they can hear me in there…” he pointed to Crystal’s stomach. “I’ll have you know that I’ll be your favorite uncle! I’m stopping with the stupidity and arguments as of today.”

“I’ll gladly drink to all of this!” Lysander raised the can, and they clanked them together before taking a ceremonial first sip.

“You two are… good now?” Crystal asked, measuring them up carefully.

Castiel wanted to say, “I hope so” or “We’re okay, but will get there,” but didn’t want to put words in Lysander’s mouth again.

“I think so,” Lysander answered with a slight smile. “It will be work, but having my best friend back is good. I missed him a lot…”

Castiel’s eyes immediately became wet upon hearing that, and he quickly blinked away the tears out of embarrassment. Even though he got over Zackary and the loss of that friendship, he couldn’t get over Lysander in a million years. Their friendship was exceptional and a once-in-a-million situation, even though they hit a three-year rough patch.

“Are you okay, Cas?” Crystal walked over to him and pulled him into a hug.

Out of everyone they knew, Crystal was one of the few who truly understood how much their friendship meant to them both.

“Yeah. It’s the dust…”

“What a liar!” Crystal chuckled.

“I’m sorry, it got very emotional!” he protested against “showing weakness,” even though he was amongst people he didn’t really mind showing his sensitive side in front of. “I could just hug the shit out of you for saying such things… But I don’t want to make your pregnant wife feel like a third wheel!”

“Oh, I was used to that with the both of you. Feel free to show off your “bromance” because I would not be a third wheel, anyway! Our child is always with me!” she explained.

“That’s true. At best, she’d be fourth wheeling.” Lysander nodded, still smiling.

“But before you two run off into the sunset… What about my sister?”

"We talked about that too… that's why Lysander told me you're also pregnant. I feel better and see things more clearly, but I have to go home first thing in the morning and talk seriously with her."

"Look, you know me, I am big on privacy, but I need to know if you will break her heart. I have always believed in the two of you, and I know that you love each other, but if having a child is a no-go for you and Ella wants to keep the baby…"

"Whatever Ella wants to do, we'll do, and I'll be at her side the entire time. But if we keep the baby, we'll have to sort out many things because of how hectic our lives are. And I'll probably panic a lot, but I won't run away anymore…"

��I am glad to hear that.” Crystal nodded approvingly. “I’ll text my sister that you’re not planning to make a run for Mexico under a new identity.”

“I would never!” Castiel laughed.

“Oh, she asked me to stop you if you’d bring up the idea. Pregnant or not, I would have locked you up in the shed!”

“Kinky…”

The three laughed, spending the night outside, talking freely and happily about life: Lysander and Crystal were brimming with excitement about their impending parenthood. Despite the challenges of managing a farm, they were hopeful. Castiel, too, was filled with hope, his band’s successes and bright future fueling his optimism. All of them talked without any restraints or resentment for the first time in three years – and Castiel could see his future clearly in that moment. The image of his kids running around the farm, playing with Lysander’s and Crystal’s kids on one of their visits, where Ella was of course also at his side, didn’t seem so scary anymore. In the future, Castiel would read enough parenting books and watch enough documentaries about raising children to be confident about his abilities as a father. He hoped this would be the case at least.

#amour sucre #corazon de melon #mcl #mcl new gen #my candy love #castiel #castiel veilmont #lysander #lysander ainsworth #candy #my candy love high school life #my candy love university life #my candy love love life #fanfic #fanfiction

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admirange · 4 months ago

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Mcl style contest outfit dump pt. 4

Spectral waltz

I didn't know what spectral meant lol, pinterest gave me ghost artworks so I guess it's just ghost waltz? IDK. Used all white & pale colors and the usual black hair because that's all I have. I WISH I could relive my prom when my whole class waltzed together. My dress was all white and pretty and princessy and it perfectly fit me the first time I tried it 😭 AND HOW IT MOVED WHEN I DANCED okay I'll just go watch the video of our dance. Used music related elements and went for this barouqe/victorian type of vibe with the room. Taki is Queen Charlotte.

Got low ranking with it.

Alien abduction

My first thought was the sims. My second was the woman from that movie Mars Attacks! TRAUMATIZED me when I was a kid lol. Then I thought just fuck it we ball and went to do the outfit. Saw this red shared item shirt and I thought it looked so weird, I just had to use it. I basically built the whole outfit around it. Tried to give off this thight one piece clothing vibe? Idk how to describe it, similar to what superheroes have. Then gave her this health thingy that comes with that sportswear basic outfit, a clock, things like that. At this point I was starting to give her some lore. No way this woman was abducted like this. Maybe this is the alien doing the abducting? Wanted to use the green face mask but I don't have that one. So I gave her a notebook, maybe this is a scientist that got abducted and eventually became part of the alien society? And she's studying them while living on their spaceship. The aliens accepted her as their friend and let her do her stuff while she's also helping them. GOD an Alien cosplay would've gone hard with this theme! I tried to create a sort of hightech environment with the room. Taki got this rabbit suit because she was abducted with this lady and they experimented with her, creating the first ever rabbit goose (no goose were harmed while making this story).

Got low ranking with it. Sad, I really liked this one:(

Underground kingdom

I was thinking really hard what piece of media has this similar kingdom. Recently got back into lotr/the hobbit and I thought a dwarf would go so hard! But dwarf women have beards as well and we don't have that in the game (yet?). So I made the boring choice and made a black fantasy-like outfit. Tried to make a little I'm rich and in the castle just underground vibe with the room. This kingdom is not in a mountains but in the deep oceans! Okay this just gave me a great idea for a fantasy world, I'll write it down. Taki has similar jewelry like I have on my character, just not that dark.

Got well ranked with top 30%

Poisoned garden

Using green was a must, also for the poison idk? Black seems obvious since in movies dying plants often turn black/grey, but in reality when they die they're just brown. Unfortunately I had more black stuff than green & brown lol. The first lore was that this character is a poisoned & dying plant/flower in the garden, then I tried on this white dress accessory thingy and I thought oh! This lowkey looks like a wing! This is a bug! This is a bug in the garden! Maybe this bug IS the poison after all. Anyway this is a lame lore it didn't really move my imagination. I don't have open areas for backgrounds so went with the only (?) green I have. Put some plants in and called it a day. Mushroom Taki is part of the garden as well.

Got low ranking with it. Not surprised, not the best.

At the stake

Another witch theme! I saw some people did almost the same outfits as the witching hour, but this is different. This witch won't do peaceful witchy things in her cottage, this witch is going to DIE today. She is SUFFERING. Her lore is that she isn't even a witch but the people still treated her like one. Put witch jewelries on her and stuff just to prove their point. This girl just wanted to tend the farm animals but NO. They TOOK HER AWAY. The black dress is a shared item btw, can you tell I'm obsessed with it? But chains on her to show she is not free anymore. She is a PRISONER (as I said I don't have open area backgrounds so this is what I had to came up with). Anxiously waiting for the sun to rise because then the townspeople will take her to the stake. But she'll finally be free. They even took away her emotional support goose!!!

Got low ranking with it.

Night court

Ah yes, the theme where half of the contestants make outfits from the show, the other half from the book. But since it's "halloween themed" I guess it refers to the book? I'm not familiar with ACOTAR, since I usually (always) borrow books from my sister and she doesn't have those. Also they don't print them at the moment in my country & I don't like reading online. But I'm a big fan of ToG! So I'm familiar what types of clothing the writer likes to give characters. Honestly have no idea if I nailed it or not, but I like it and that's what matters. Read the fandom wiki about the night court, but didn't help much.

Got well ranked with top 19%

Goth princess

I'm getting bored of my black clothes ngl 😩 I had a friend when I was still at school who dressed similar, SO COOL. Lowkey that was my inspiration. Didn't want to just recreate a similar outfit as the night court because the theme also had 'princess'. Also I know goth people not only wear black, but my candy's wardrobe only has white, blue, black, and some other colors scattered around. Also there's a lot of different goth "subgenres" (??) so I don't know, I tried doing something based on my memories of that friend I had. I just hope people won't stick with the sexualized e-girl "goth" outfits, so much wasted potential. • (Yes I'm writing this before the rankings were done. Future me are the podium outfits good?) • (Yes they're fine dw about it past me) • Such an interesting style, also the music is amazing!

Got well ranked with top 16%

Grave digger

Well it's more of a grave robber but anyway 😬 I had two inspirations but both of them were only from my memories, didn't feel like looking up references. The first one was that grave digger from that old online game bloodmoon if anyone knows that? It was a "waiting game", we could go help the grave digger to have money when we were out of energy for the day from missions. The second was from the second episode of Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities where the robber found huge rat monsters in graves. Tried to do older vibe, feel like the theme fits more with that than today's.

Got well ranked with top 28%

Killer

So much possibilities... so much ideas... and I still went with Jeff the killer... just hear me out on yassified Jeff the killer PLEASE. No actually I think it's a disaster LMFAO. Didn't know what I was doing. Maybe a killer clown would've been more succesful. I have no hope for this outfit. Please forgive me for creating this 🙏

Got low ranking with it. NOT surprised (although at least it's not a butterfly sparkle killer. Seriously people, why can't you stay on theme for ONCE?)

Zombie

Well I love The Walking Dead and overall zombie movies. Thought about cosplaying a survivor but nah, the theme is zombie, let's do a zombie. Just dressed her in basic clothes that can somewhat be considered messy and put "blood" on her. Taki is a normal civilian as well, in civilian clothes. I was trying to do something messy, kinda bunker-like with the room. Overall a simple theme, nothing much to say about it.

Got low ranking with it (why do the podium zombies sparkling tho... do they know... zombies are literally rotting flesh... and they don't sparkle... it really annoys me when the outfit is so good and then they put sparkles and butterflies over it for no reason)

Some bonus infos

Saw complaints (not just on tumblr) about "white candies cosplaying for black candies in style contests" and how it's so offensive. While I agree it's icky when someone only uses them in "dark" themes, I don't consider my outfits problematic, since I used them randomly. Still I rather stayed with my newcrette's skin with the last 10-15 entries I made because fueling this in any way is not on the table for me. I really wanted to use different skin colors but I guess it's safer to stay with the default I have.

This is not a complaint nor a conversation starter (although I'm always open for that), I just wanted to clarify why the same skin color every time from now on. It's not because I don't want to use the other ones. And no I am not mad in any way. Spreading that emotion is the last thing I want to do, that's why I made this decision in the first place.

Thank you for reading and/or looking through my creations<3

#mclng #mcl new gen #mcl #my candy love new gen #my candy love #mcl style contest

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lukida1999 · 7 months ago

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❣️What I love about NewGen❣️

I never win anything (and I've never posted anything on Tumblr before), but I'll try my luck, because if I don't even try, I can't win!

I started playing MCL (Sweet Amoris in my case) in early 2015 after coming across the game by chance. At first I just wanted to try it out, but because I immediately fell in love with the game, I stayed and almost 10 years later I'm still here playing NewGen!

❥ I love the forum!

I loved it on MCL and Eldarya (I still do!) and I love it on NewGen! It's so cool to meet people who have the same interests as you. I also love reading fanfics and admiring fanart. It's incredible how talented some players are!

❥ I love Jason!

When I saw the new LI's (which at the time were Amanda, Thomas, Roy and Devon) for the very first time, I thought they were all nice to look at, but as far as descriptions went, no one really seemed to fit me. I figured my Candy would probably date Thomas, because he seemed the most appealing to me, but then Jason came along and I was hooked! I'm a fan of the enemies-to-lovers trope and Jason is also just incredibly good looking. His light strands of hair and his blue eyes are so beautiful! When I met him for the first time in the episodes, it confirmed to me that he is the right choice for my Candy. The interactions with him are great and I can never wait to meet him again!

❥ I love that you get a text message from the LI's after every episode!

It's a very cool idea and I'm always curious to see what the LI's write. Jason's messages in particular make me laugh every time.

❥ I love putting outfits together for my Candy!

I love dressing up my Guardian and my old Candy and also love dressing up my new Candy. Unfortunately, I don't own any packs in NewGen yet, so I'm a bit limited when it comes to clothes. That's why I would be even happier to win the E-Girl pack! The boots and belt in particular suit my taste perfectly and my Candy would rock them so much! I've always wanted headphones like these in real life, so it would be cool to be able to see my Candy wear them!

❥ I love that when you save an outfit, the LI's comment on the "post"!

It's so funny to see the emojis!

❥ I love that you can decorate Candy's room yourself!

It makes the whole thing even more personal and that's great. It makes me feel much more like I'm playing my own Candy than it would if the room wasn't to my taste!

❥ Last but not least: I love the outfit competitions!

Due to the lack of packs, it's not always so easy for me to put together an outfit that fits the theme, but I always do my best! Unfortunately, I've never been on one of the podiums, but at least I've come 5th before with the outfit you see above. Even if things don't always go so well for me, I really enjoy admiring the other users' contributions. It's amazing what you can do with relatively few pieces of clothing! I've already seen cosplays and other incredibly creative combinations!

Thank you @tetrakys for giving us the opportunity to win this pack! Good luck to all participants❣️

#my candy love

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theworldofdog · 2 years ago

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Kevin Durant, Returns from injury, scores 23 in winning Suns debut

Charlotte, N.C. -- It was at All-Star Weekend 2019 that Kevin Durant solidified his decision to join forces together with Kyrie Irving as both players became free agents in the summer following. A few decades later, a brand new partnership was revealed in the same arena, but this one with hopes for better results.

First time playing as a part of the Phoenix Suns on Wednesday night, Durant showed early signs of the devastating one-two punch he could create along with Devin Booker in the victory of 105-91 to end the Charlotte Hornets' five-game winning streak.

Durant recorded 23 points in just 27 minutes, and his jumper appeared like it was rust-free since he had been absent since January. 8 after recuperating from an MCL injury that he sustained while still playing with his team, the Brooklyn Nets.

"I feel like I fit in pretty well. Everybody out there was trying to make me as comfortable as possible," Durant declared. "I just got to keep grinding, man, and this jersey on me will look normal as games go on."

Durant's combination of playmaking with Booker left the greatest impression.

When they took to the court together, certainly they were, as Booker enjoyed a fantastic overall game, scoring 37 points as well as six rebounds and seven assists to form the type of wing-scoring duo which Durant acquired. Durant's purchase was about.

"This is one of those moments that doesn't really feel real," Booker declared. "I mean, it's just every time he shoots the ball, it's just so effortless. You can see defenders trying their hardest to contest or fight over a screen, and he just looks unbothered, unfazed."

It was only when Booker, as well as Durant, were split that the Sun's game plan for Durant and Booker became apparent.

In both periods, Durant played stretches with four bench players. each time the score was from near to double-digit Phoenix leads when he hit several of his signature mid-range jumpers. Durant finished the game with shots of 10-15.

The stretches ensured a comfortable win since the Suns did not trail and Durant finished with a plus-13 rating and was ranked second in the league.

While Durant who was on the first four six-minute shifts, and the final three minutes of his shift as part of a minute restriction was in the sitting area in the sand, the team was Booker who would take on the job, taking 15 of his 26 shots while he was working with Chris Paul, who was credited with 11 assists as per the norm.

After the minutes restriction has been lifted and Durant's participation in conjunction with Booker's increase -- as the coach Monty Williams' plan seems to be -the Suns' potential will be unleashed.

"It's just pretty cool to be able to give the guy the ball and he could get to his spot and get a really good shot," Williams stated. "I thought the team fed off of him just being himself tonight."

The game on Wednesday night wasn't without blemishes but it was a good game. The potential for top-heavy scoring of the Suns scoring have already shown up when only one athlete, Deandre Ayton who was in double figures, scoring 16 points.

Paul who has had an unfavorable shooting season suffered another poor shooting night shooting just 1-of-8. Josh Okogie, who was able to keep his spot as a starter after scoring 18.5 points in a more energized role after the Durant trade and scored four points.

The Suns have also suggested that getting to the foul line could be a challenge in the past with three players that specialize in mid-range shots.The Hornets were without the star LaMelo Ball after LaMelo Ball had a broken ankle earlier in the week also drew 13 free throws.

Kelly Oubre Jr. was the leading scorer in Charlotte by scoring 26 points, however, he only shot 9-of-24 while the Suns were able to hold their Hornets to 36.4 percent on the floor.

However it was a success. Durant rollout was a huge success with a planned strategy that allowed for extra training and practice time as well as the chance to play against one of the teams that are weak in the league.

However, despite that, Durant admitted he was worried.

"New environment, new situation, new teammates, I mean I always feel I got to prove myself to my teammates and my coaches every single day no matter what I've done in the league," Durant declared. "So I feel like there's pressure to be who I am every day."

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quickdeaths · 2 years ago

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Well, it seemed like Sonia understood where they were coming from. That made things easier. People who wanted to fit them in one of two boxes always made a situation awkward or difficult to deal with. "Yeah, transcending." Expectations that they be one thing or another, whether that came to something like gender, or an occupation, or a study track... Tsubasa just didn't have any use at all about for those expectations. Wasn't it better just to be Cyber Tsubasa, a cool techie skater?

Tsubasa laughed and nodded, spinning one of the toy capsules around their finger. "That's exactly it. Although, don't get your hopes up too much about a puppy, or something similarly realistic." The pets in their little capsules were... far stranger, and while mascot characters were common, it still astounded them how easily the world had latched onto what were truthfully pretty bizarre little beasts. Not that they were complaining, of course. "Some people like to go in blind, or try to shoot for a specific one, but it's fine either way." Weird was cool, and strange was in.

As for the instructions, they'd send her a PDF later. If they remembered, which was a bit of a tall order given the situation at hand. "Sonia-san, you really have to warn me better next time. Are all the girls in your class so cute?" Even if they were a bit scary-looking and off-putting to this girl they'd just met, Tsubasa offered a breezy smile and a light wave before pushing themselves up on the examination table as Mikan instructed.

"It's really okay," they said in a kind voice, both hands up, as much a show of easing her concerns as proving that they were neither armed nor that dangerous. "If I expected an apology from everyone who thought I looked a little odd, I'd never have time for anything else." They'd rather just take it easy and skate, assuming that anything short of outright malice from another person was just an accident or an early judgment easily dispelled with a smile and time.

They hiked up the leg of their pants, showing the scuffs and bruises over and around their knee to the nurse. "It's really not a huge deal," they started, not wanting to alarm her. If she was a nurse, she'd probably seen a lot worse than what they had to offer, but it was also true that skaters usually looked more banged up than they really were. Tsubasa's skill kept them from the worst of it these days, but their early days in the sport had left them littered with road rash, concussions, and broken bones.

Then again, it had also left them with a keen understanding of their body and its limits, so that counted for something, right? "I took a rough spill and landed right here," they helpfully added, pointing to a growing bruise on the inside of their knee. "You're the expert, but feels like maybe a sprained MCL?" Not too bad. Maybe a week off from tricks, with a brace and some painkillers. If they had to spend a bit of time with Mikan, too, they wouldn't complain about it.

Keeping the fabric bunched up around their thigh, they smiled to Sonia and then Mikan in turn, just in case either of them were the type to get worried about something that sounded like a serious injury. "You guys sound like you have a fun class. I'm in 77-A, it's a little crazy." There were some bright spots there, for sure, but some duds, too. All things considered, they'd swap over to another class given the opportunity, but oh well. Just visiting and getting to know Sonia's class would be enough.

"And meeting this Mioda-san sounds fun." After two people had mentioned her, Tsubasa figured they must have had at least a few things in common. The school was a more chill and welcoming place than general society, but even still, they were always on the lookout for more cool goth buddies. The scene wasn't always the best for true underground alternative vibes, but it was better with friends.

With one last smile towards Mikan, they turned back to Sonia, just in case the nurse preferred to work without receiving too much attention, or if talking to her might be distracting. "Oh, hey, Sonia-san. You wanted to see some videos, right?" They fished their phone out of a pocket and lightly tossed a wireless earbud to her. "I just realized what day it is - I think my camera guy should have finished uploading some of my highlights, if you wanna check together."

Royal rules and traditions barely made sense to her half of the time, barring it just being what was always done. Having to explain it to a friend and have them wholly accept it without question? Well, that was mostly out of the question unless they too came from aristocratic families. She smiled in support of Tsubasa's assessment, with a pink tinge to her cheeks at their mention of her looks: they did seem like cool materials, leather and denim, but save for the occasional pair of denim blue jeans or a protective leather garment for extensive outdoor wear, they weren't typical fabrics found in the Princess of Novoselic's wardrobe.

"I must admit I rather agree with you, but my family wouldn't tolerate it," She assured Tsubasa as they walked, taking care to tuck the small digital pet into one of the inside pockets of her school bag. She'd likely need some sort of written or digital guide to understand how to make it work, and Tsubasa didn't have those as readily available as the egg capsules. Perhaps it was simply intuitive for most people?

She picked up the pace: even if Tsubasa skated slowly beside her, she'd needed quicker steps, and in elegant heels no less. No matter: she'd change out of her skirt suit after taking her new friend to both, if all things went well, medical assistance and another new friend. Thankfully, the soreness building around the base of her toes and the balls of her feet could be ignored for a little while as Tsubasa kept up the conversation. Mainly, how the digital animals would evolve.

"So with that logic, you could raise a digital puppy, have it bred with another digital puppy, and the next generation of offspring might not be puppies at all? Fascinating!" She exclaimed, delighted at the prospect. It didn't exactly make sense, but surely that was what the digital component was for. "I shall have to inquire about Tanaka-san's opinion of such a thing! It would be incredible if reality and the digital world contained some overlap. Though I suppose if a dog evolves into, say, a cat, that might be a bit far-fetched for reality."

At least discussing digital animals had served as a pleasant distraction from more unpleasant questions. She'd done her best to conceal her apprehension at even asking something such as that from a new friend, but to her relief, Tsubasa had not seemed to mind. But that relief was quick-lived as Tsubasa began a verbose answer to what Sonia thought was a simple question. One that warranted a single word answer.

She'd clearly been wrong. Instead, she nodded along as Tsubasa continued an explanation of sorts. Ones and zeroes? Digital and analog? Her mind worked as quickly as she could to try and place the meaning of the words, but Sonia couldn't help but wish Chihiro was there to help. The Ultimate Programmer would understand this better than she did.

"I...suppose there is a digital ocean out there," She agreed, nodding. "After all, there is no end to the internet, is there? I can spend so many hours on a single social media website and still find things to look at!" By social media, she meant reddit, and by things to look at, she meant the various horror, anime, unsolved murders, and romantic drama subreddits, with the occasional dip into romance novels when she felt no one would truly care about her browser history.

Finally, they'd reached Mikan's lab and the point, leaving Sonia to exhale. Yes, she did finally understand. "Yes, so you transcend binary gender rules, I understand now!" She assured them softly, in case anyone was inside Mikan's lab to listen. "Very well, they/them it is."

She raised her knuckles to the door and knocked twice, waiting for a feeble 'please come in!' before entering, hoping Tsubasa would take the hint and follow behind. Inside the lab that smelled strongly of cleaning alcohols, with sterile air and bright, artificial lights, was Tsumiki Mikan, adding more bandages and antiseptics to a depleted drawer. Unfortunately, even though the Ultimate Nurse had permitted Sonia to enter, she hadn't expected to see the likes of someone as striking as Cyber Tsubasa, eliciting a jump in the air and a squeak of surprise.

"Ahh, S-Sonia-san!" She cried, bringing her hands up to her face in self-defense, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. "A scary person h-has followed you inside! Are you in trouble!?"

It was Sonia's turn to be surprised, her blue eyes widening as she looked from her cowering classmate to Tsubasa: was it the mask, or the visor, or the sheer amount of piercings they had that scared Mikan so much? In any case, it didn't matter as Sonia smiled warmly, moving to pat Mikan's shoulder in reassurance. "No no, this is my friend, Cyber Tsubasa, otherwise known as Tsubasa-san," She spoke in a soothing voice as Mikan's tears began to fade, "They are a fellow Hope's Peak student and are likely in need of your help. I think they tumbled off their skateboards a few times, yes?" She glanced back at Tsubasa, waiting for them to confirm or deny her suspicions.

"O-oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I am so sorry!" Mikan exclaimed, giving Tsubasa a quick, though rather low bow in apology. "I...I've never seen you before. Y-you remind me a little of Mioda-san, though. Could you sit on the examination table please, and show me where...where you hurt yourself?"

"That's what I thought," Sonia grinned, taking a seat in one of the few chairs Mikan had set up for those needing to wait. "I need to give them one of the flyers for Mioda Ibuki-san's upcoming performance. It should be an exhilarating time!"

Mikan nodded eagerly, finally showing Tsubasa a hesitant smile. "Yes, Mioda-san is very passionate and talented! B-but her performances are very loud...with a lot of lights, a-and flames sometimes come out of her guitar. I-I keep reminding her it is a risk to her health: she could burn herself!"

#morethanaprincess #c; the cyber angel

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princemick · 2 years ago

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okay??? hat? its hot, it doesn't have the notches to asjust it has like a lil band so i can adjust it to exactly how I like it, also its really light which I love about most f1 caps, they're sport style so they're light, the cap itself is long which is rad.

there is a weird lil notch on the front inside and its a bit to square in the front for my face but I like it. 4/5 stars

#as a person who wears caps almost daily i approve #gold star #my favorite fit is either my game boy or basic puma ferrari one tho #kyle.txt #also the mcl one fits really well #its just mcl so...ugly

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lihikainanea · 2 years ago

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An open call for advice from dog mammas

hey frenns!

As some of you know, I am the proud mama to a lil perfect Aussie bb who will be 2 in January. We’ve had some ups and downs but he’s just so fucking perfect.

Long story short he started limping a bit this past January, and his original vet was like “oh it’s hip dysplasia for sure” and was like, ready to wheel him in for a $30,000 surgery for titanium hips when he wasn’t even a year old. Needless to say, we switched vets pretty fast.

I’ve been seeing a new vet who is pretty fantastic and takes a very conservative approach to treatment. We have weekly “desensitization” visits where he just goes in and gets a shit ton of treats, gets pet by everyone, gets told he’s a very good boy--just to help him not be so nervous at the vet. His new doc is really fantastic and I love her.

His limp was intermittent--it would go away for a few months, and then show up again. Always on his right hind leg. In June, it became more present--after a very active day full of playing (he goes to a daycare twice a week), I notice that he’d lie down to nap and when he got up, he’d limp. We tried one week on anti-inflammatories, which did wonders--but came back when we stopped the meds. So we did another week--and the same thing happened.

His vet and I finally decided it would be a good idea to do some XRays to see what’s really going on, and it took a lot of convincing on my part because he had to be sedated and I hate doing that.

The X Rays showed, what the vet thinks, is a teeny tiny MCL tear. She referred me to an orthopedist to see my options.

Now, here’s the issue. The surgery to repair a small torn/completely ruptured MCL is major. They saw into bone. They use steel. The rehab is 3-6 months--and that’s like, no walking. NO WALKING. I live on the second floor, and my dude is an Aussie. He’s active, and I travel a shit ton. This is a major life decision.

But like, the first step is with the orthopedist, which we have an appointment September 21. And already, when I emailed my pupper’s file over, the doc got back to me and said “okay well don’t feed him the day of the appointment because I’m going to re-do the x ray, it’s not up to my standards.”

Um...No? FUCK NO?

I don’t want to do that--not only because it’s a fuck ton of money, but because I fail to see the point. The X Rays are two weeks old. I’m not re-doing them just to fit your standard--work with what you’ve got. The x rays are perfectly fine, and there’s 4 views. My dude, I ain’t redoing that shit.

But that, right there, makes me feel like an irresponsible pet parent. I want the best for my little guy.

But then also like...look, I’m not convinced on the surgery front. My bubba doesn’t seem to be in pain, and he only limps SOMETIMES--other times, he’s perfectly fine. And like, right now--okay, he’s at risk of arthritis if I don’t fix it, he limps and has some soreness when he’s too active.

And if I get the surgery? The side effect are....he’s at risk of arthritis when he’s older (because it’s SURGERY and they saw into BONE), and he’ll still limp and get sore if he’s too active because it’ll be the scarred tissue form surgery.

I don’t know. I fail to see the fucking point, but in saying that, I also feel like a TERRIBLE and irresponsible pet parent for potentially letting my doggo live with pain?

HALP.

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otomelavenderhaze · 2 years ago

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Hello! What are your thoughts about Armin's AL?

They had a good idea, but poor execution.

The episode when everything falls apart is episode 3 in which Candy acts childish most of the time, annoyingly so, like it stopped from being cute at the middle of episode 1.

I think they thought about how start his route and how they wanted to end but had NO THOUGHTS about the middle or how they would like to get in the end in a solid way. It shows by how they thought they should prop up episode 3 sex scene, that feel more fitting for Evan than Armin BUT WELL, I guess what they wanted was a more aggressive character- let's forget all the core and most charming sides of Armin because none of them are sexy or attactive NO LET'S MAKE IT SPICY.

We have characters with hurt feelings, that hurted each other and that's why they feel the way they do, WHICH could be a relatable scenario. Who didn't ever hurted someone they cared deeply about, you would expect they would take some inspo in real life, how human fucking beings deal with stuff.

But no, GOD FORBID ANY MCL CHARACTER HAVE HUMAN EMOTIONS AFTER HSL. Or being vunerable, or personal, OR ANYTHING DEEPER THAN WHAT WE SEE THEM AS.

*Deep breath* But should've known, they never knew how to write Armin aside from the nerdy-encyclopedia-no-worries of always, they found a legit flawn for him in AL to make him at least a little bit more human, but what's the point if Candy behaves like a fucking wooden door????? I really don't understand why they wouldn't drop the act for one conversation, be vunerable, be nice to each other, WITHOUT ANY JOKES.

Also, Armin working with Nathaniel???????? OKAY????? I GUESS??????

Well, I don't like Armin's AL route. I thought I had things to complain about his HSL, but WOAH, AL really went like "hold my fucking beer, chef".

#personal #ask #thank you for the question anon

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sophiewagentje · 2 years ago

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I get your opinion on Daniel, but I also feel he basically just pushes the "funny guy" driver now? Not as an insult at all, like it's clearly working for him, but if you check his Manager's Twitter, like 90% of what he's trying to use to get Daniel a seat at a frontrunner team is how marketable he is and fan engagement and humor etc. etc. But then in those same tweets, he also tries to overcome the fact that with the current grid ages, Daniel is getting older with "but he's also one of the most experienced and mature drivers on the grid" and I'm just like. How are you going to sell a guy who yells dildo through a crowded paddock, who draws dicks on his teammates' shirt at public events, who basically has the funny guy/frat boy reputation as one of the "most mature drivers?" I'm not saying his personality or trying to highlight his marketability is bad, but it doesn't add up when you're bringing up events like this while simultaneously saying "Look how much maturity he would bring to your team though!" (And again I'm not shitting on his personality at all. Like sometimes a good comedic relief can be fun. Sometimes we all need a laugh. I guess I'm just trying to point out that there are many contradictions in how he/his manager want him to be perceived?) I'm also just going to say that like his personality/humor fit in really well with the culture at Red Bull, but I don't think it would fit well with either of the other top two teams? Mercedes especially seem to keep their drivers fairly PR friendly, and Ferrari seems the same way tbh.

I’m not on twitter so can’t say anything about that😅 but that is one of my issues yes. Like I love how over the top Daniel can be but imo the frat boy humour doesn’t suit 1 a 33 year old man, 2 one of the most experienced drivers on the grid, 3 someone who needs to impress teams if he wants to return in 2024. Like Ferrari won’t accept that and merc is too serious for behaviour like that. Besides I personally don’t think Daniel would completely fit in with Redbull again (if not at all). And honestly if he can’t make his return I’m those three or maybe (big maybe) alpine, he should just not return imo. Cuz that would just be humiliating and it’d be better for him to drive in a different racing series.

Also I’m kinda tired of the whole ‘oh he’s such a marketable driver, any team would be lucky to have him’ like no, he isn’t scoring points for mcl this year, wasn’t going great last year either and in the end if he doesn’t show he can get those constructors points, he can be as marketable as can be but it won’t be worth anything to the teams cuz marketing doesn’t pay their logistics cost nor does it pay back part of their development which a good result in the constructors does do.. so yeah

#I’m giving way too much opinion #let’s hope the stans wont come for my head🙄#soph’s asks

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idolcandy · 4 years ago

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opinion on the last episode of mcl?

I thought it was really fitting that after seasons of Candy being a problem solver, everyone else banded together to solve her problem. Even characters I didn’t really care for, like Steve, proved themselves to be kind-hearted and well-intentioned at the end of the day. It’s pretty reflective of most people you know? People are just annoying, they’re usually not mean. Even the banker bent the rules for Candy because he wants her to succeed.

I liked seeing how strongly all the LI’s care about Candy, even if you aren’t on their route. The friendships are just important to me as the romance is and it was nice to see them all chip in and use their personal influences to help out. Like Priya asking her rich lawyer friends to donate and Nathaniel asking his cop friends to help out the person who snared Dan etc...

I liked that even though I continually rejected Eric, he still came to the café and tried to move on from the drama and later he sold his Dad’s guitar for the crowdfunding campaign. Not only was it sweet I think it showed that what he felt for Candy was more than lust or rebounding.

I’m glad we got one final group illustration. I was glad we got to see Morgan one last time because I want the game to treat him as Candy’s friend, not just Alexy’s bf/ex. I like how to illustration is very reminiscent of the Christmas illustration with the girls in that you can tell Candy’s taking a big group selfie that they’re all trying to fit into. And it’s also very like the manga poster of the whole crew, particularly with Candy’s framing.

And the proposal! I played Priya’s route but I’ve looked at screenshots and summaries of them all and they’re all lovely. I don’t feel they were generic “I love you's” or anything, they were very well tailored to the individual character. Nath’s referenced a lot of his past, Rayan’s referencing his past relationship etc.. But I played Priya’s and I thought it was very her and very sweet. I love the illustration that went along with it. I like that they’re on their knees on the floor, as if it’s so overwhelming they need to steady themselves and Candy is near cupping her face in surprise. It checks all the boxes for what I wanted out of a proposal scene.

I don’t mind that we didn’t get a wedding. I wouldn’t have liked a straight jump from proposal to wedding, the weight of the proposal wouldn’t have really mattered if you immediately followed it up with vows.

The only negative I have is that I really felt Candy’s parents would’ve been at the event, and maybe your love interest’s parents too (ok it could’ve just been Amber for Nath.) But this is just me being hung up on the fact that we never got to meet Priya’s family, it doesn’t really impact the episode beyond my expectations for it.

Overall it was a suitable send-off for the game and I really enjoyed it!

#my candy love #ask #thank you for asking! I love asks #Anonymous

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melodyalanaroster · 3 years ago

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To answer some Fanfic Questions...

So, this is my response to @broxklynn‘s post... I decided to make this its own post... So that It can be properly answered.

1. How and why did you start to write? Is there some kind of story behind it?

I started writing in general when I was in elementary school... Back when I just had a Platform 9 3/4 journal, not many friends, recess, and a desire to immerse myself in the world of Harry Potter. I enjoyed writing, and even joined the Writer’s Club in High School (but I eventually left to join Anime Club and Divergent Thinking Society). As for writing MCL fanfiction, I began writing Sam’s and Alana’s stories as early as when I first got into the fandom, back in 2013. Alana’s story started out as “A Fresh Start”, had a one shot called “When I Wake”, then turned into “Let The Dawn Be Broken”, and is now “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. The final product barely has any hints of the first 3... In fact, Sam’s story, “Fighting Darkness”, has been completely debunked due to what I’ve decided to canonize in “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. Writing MCL fanfiction has been a major help in distracting me from the depression that was caused by family issues, severe abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, my mom’s disease and her death, as well as working at several shitty jobs. Writing has helped me escape reality and keep myself sane enough to not be a black hole of hate, anger, and sadness to my friends and boyfriend.

2. What do you struggle the most with your writing?

There are 2 major things I struggle with... 1 is Timing. I often set deadlines for myself that I never meet and it makes me so frustrated that I miss them... There are currently things in my drafts that were meant to be “Holiday Specials” for Valentine’s Day and Halloween 2020 that are still unfinished... It makes me feel like I’m letting my readers down, when its more of me letting myself down... The other thing is Inspiration. Because I hate my job, I often think about Alana’s story in an effort to not be completely consumed by the fact that I do hate my work... Due to that, I often come up with ideas for my story that I think are FANTASTIC for my story... But, by the time I get home, I’m either in too much pain or too tired to write, or I’ve forgotten the ideas...

3. What is your favorite genre to write?

I love writing Romance with a bit of Slice of Life and a hint of Action/Adventure...

4. Slowburn or “Flame”/PWP?

Slow burn any day.

5. How do you overcome writer’s block?

If I absolutely can’t write... I work on other stuff I need to do... Typically, something around the house, or something online I need to do... I also look for cool stuff to add to wish lists... I’ll occasionally play videogames or read comic books... In an effort to subvert writer’s block, I like having multiple chapters in my drafts at once. If I’m not in the mood to work on one chapter, I can work on a different one.

6. What kind of thing you dislike the most, when reading a fanfiction? (for example: particular plot, grammar mistakes)

One thing that makes me upset (and it makes me madder when I do this) is misspelling... Especially when it looks like its almost blatant... You have autocorrect, USE IT! Or when a fanfic is so awful, yet the author acts like their work is a gift from god... I don’t mind a “bad” fanfiction... Hell, the concept of “My Immortal” is so bad that its hilarious... But Fifty Shades did a lot of damage and E.L. James acts like she’s bigger than Jesus... Seriously, she wrote Twilight fanfiction, changed some minor details and names, people who have no knowledge of BDSM ate it up, and she acts like she’s a “Sex and Relationship Guru”...

7. What’s the biggest issue for you, when writing a Beemoov fanfiction?

The biggest issue for me is finding out when to allow for Beemoov’s writing and placement to take place in my story. I don’t like a lot of the events of UL and LL, so I’m often finding myself in a position where I have to watch video playthroughs and go “Okay, how can I omit this character, but keep this scene?”. I’ve had to do that A LOT with Alexy and Rosalaya.... Although, to a certain extent, I’ll often cut their scenes out altogether. I really hate what Beemoov did to them. They were great characters in HSL, but became utter shit in UL and stayed shit in LL. To make up for Beemoov’s writing style, I’ve created my own characters, added in old characters (like Kentin and Armin), added in bits from the manga (like Viktor, Severina and their fathers), and gone off on my own storyline. The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster is close to MCL at times, but often veers off onto its own road.

8. Have you ever created a character based on person in real life? (celebrity, someone that you know, etc)

YES!!! A LOT of characters in my story are based on real people! Alana’s step-father, Nate Films, is closely based on Nathan Fillion. A lot of her family members are based on members of my own family, just changed a bit to fit the story. Lynne Roster, Alana’s mom, is what I had always dreamed my own mom would be... Hell, Alana’s cat, Sylvester, is based on my own childhood cat, Luna.

9. How do you feel about your own characters? Do you think of them as your babies or have rather love-hate relationship with them? (And, do you have favorite one?)

I love most of my characters. I do hate 3 in particular... But, you’re supposed to hate, or at least not respect, them... That’s why I poured my hatred into them... Those 3 are Carol, Kai and Azrael. Carol has aspects of my abuser in her. You’ll see more of her when I finally post the HSL related chapters... And understand what I mean... Kai is based on one of my real life cousins that I’ve not been happy with for years (the one who my bf has deemed “the family failure”). You mainly see him in the Cousin Mels chapters, and in the Christmas Special... Azrael is the one who is seen the most in the UL chapters, and she is a main adversary for Alana. She is the one who broke her the most, the one who ended Alana’s relationship with Nathaniel, the one who truly traumatized her. As for ones I love... The one I love the most is Alana... I know, she’s a reflection of me, so that’s kind of vain... But, she’s a part of me. When I do finish her story and am at the point where I need to say “Goodbye”, it will hurt....

10. Enemies-to-lovers or friends/bestfriends-to lovers?

Definitely friends/best friends to lovers. I also like toying with what happens when best friends turn to lovers, but circumstance parts them and one moves on...

11. Is it easy for you to get inside your character’s head? Can you empathize with them? Is there’s some similarities between you and your main character?

It is VERY easy for me to get into Alana’s head... Like I said in #9, she is a reflection of me. She looks and acts like how I’d like to in a lot of situations... Her life is more interesting, traumatized, and more well off than mine... But, she is still me in major ways...

12. Who has been the biggest supporter of your writing?

Definitely my boyfriend. He doesn’t really understand the game itself... But, he likes how happy it makes me and he respects how much of my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears that I’ve poured into writing my story. He loves listening to me read passages from it to him while I’m working. He gives me advice and his opinion is highly valued... My family knows I’m writing a large story, and have seen some of the images that I’ve gotten commissioned, but they don’t really know or care about the game. They do respect the fact that I am writing. They love the fact that I’m slightly following in my mom’s footsteps in that regard (she wrote 3 books and several poems). My online friends have been very supportive as well! I’m constantly updating them on what I’ve worked on each day in my Discord Server and the words of encouragement always help.

13. How do you handle criticism?

Not well. Due to the abuse and family issues mentioned in #1, for a good amount of my life, I’ve gotten nothing but harsh criticism... So, now that I’m away from all that, at 26 years old, I’m just now getting to a point where I’m starting to take it better... But, I’ve got a long way to go.

14. Do you like giving your characters trauma? Why/why not?

I hate sounding like a sadist... But, I’m going to anyway, so fuck it... Yes. I have done awful things to Alana over the years. In A Fresh Start, she got sexually assaulted and ostracized. In When I Wake, she gets into a car crash, put into a coma, and in her dream state murdered by Francis in front of Nathaniel. In Let The Dawn Be Broken, the plan was for her to end a war. In “The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster”, her childhood cat dies, her mom gets sick, she gets abused by Carol, her best friends get ripped away from her for a bit, she gets sent to a country halfway around the world alone, she gets assaulted and ultimately turned into a weapon of mass destruction.... I’ve even thought of killing her mom off at one point... But decided against it...

Now, granted, A Fresh Start and Let The Dawn Be Broken never saw completion, but happy endings were planned for them...

I do this, all while giving Alana happy endings in each story because “If Alana can go through utter hell and make it through, then so can I.”... I know, I’m “god” in that regard and I can control how Alana’s life is.... But, the fact that in my writing, she ends up standing tall, happy, with everything she wants, after everything she goes through does make me feel better....

15. Are you proud of yourself? When you look at first piece you wrote and compare it to the latest one?

Yes. If you look at A Fresh Start, you can tell it was written by someone fresh out of High School. There’s no real depth to it. Let The Dawn Be Broken isn’t much better... But, The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster has become my magnum opus. It is the largest piece I have EVER written, and will probably remain the largest piece I write. I am very proud of what I have created... And when its last word is written, and I am ready to get it made for it’s place on my shelf, I will feel very bittersweet about it... That being said, my original plan for a sequel involving Nathaniel’s and Alana’s daughter, Aurora, has been discarded. I don’t believe Aurora could ever have as much of my heart that her parents do...

And there you have it! Some insight into my world, writing, and history!

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