#also the letters were there to guide me lol i will remove them later

[blizzardstarx]

new cat!vanessa animation part 1

also lipsync test

guess the song!! (well i did reveal it in the notes in the post announcing this new animation) last word is gonna edited on the headshot

i had to delete a lot of inbetween frames, was initially slowing it down but made it too slow lol

also i theres a last scene at the end after the headshot but ill draw it later

@send-me-a-puffalope @jasminetea1234

[dahniwitchoflight]

Candy 15-17

Alright I know this is supposed to be sad but this feel so ridiculous it’s funny

“He ventures a glance at Dave, who is at the front of the line carrying a smaller casket containing Dirk’s decapitated head. “

why is there a seperate casket for the head, that’s not what funeral homes do xD

“It would be absurd were it not so tragic, and possibly also predictable.” 

“He looks at Dirk’s casket, sitting diagonally in a hole in the floor and popped about 13% of the way open.”

That’s a strangley specific number

Am I to take the imagery of something being diagonal as imagery for a “4″ and then complete it with the 13 to make 413?

Cuz is so, that’s heavy handed and ridiculous probably just as Dirk intended

“ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

Dave gets to his feet”

right because Dave is always so eloquent when it comes to delicate emotional matters lol

I don’t know why I’m finding this all so hilarious instead of tragic, maybe because it’s so melodramatic and in a way that feels scripted specifically by Dirk himself

ah, 3 quarters 

3 1/4′s

413 backwards now

“or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it “

I’m noticing more and more every time the phrase Cosmically fated is used in some form of Homestuck media its always bringing to mind ideas of Doc Scratch, like he’s the one who said it actually or it’s said in reference to him

so, +1 point to DS = DS again

“Gamzee:  I may not be all up and learned about his life, but I’ve got deep spirital connections to his death.”

yeah you sure do, and we’re not even talking about his decapitation right now aren’t we Gamzee?

This is actually a really solid point that the day “Dirk” died was the day his ultimate self got poisoned through the unholy merger that is Lord English/Caliborn/Gamzee/AR/Equius

So he’s probably been a bastard ever since Lord English started existing, which I mean “I am already here” blahblah means Dirk was very likely like this from the start potentially, but he was probbaly only really a bastard ever since Arquis got sucked into Caliborn/Gamzee

“GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

The clown thrusts his hand somewhere beneath the waistband of his pants and starts obscenely rooting around. He retrieves a piece of paper, crumpled and soaked from the rain outside, and attempts to smooth it out over the lectern. The wet paper breaks apart immediately beneath his oafish clown paws.

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!”

yeah that note was probably the last shredded remnants of good dirk since there’s literally no reason to leave a sentimental note like that for his friends, makes sense Gamzee was guided by “a higher power” to grab it and make sure it gets relayed more like ruined to his friends

“KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.”

What? How does “I’d say he’s doing fine” translate into “a three letter statement”?

Are they just hamfisting in the threes now or what?

“DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.“

Yeah if only they’d realize that what Dirk needs is a huge heaping helping of someone pushing back against his dumb decisions for once

Gotta give it to John though, he’s struggling against this drugged up haze so hard, he knows getting married to Roxy isn’t right and tries to think about that

but then he gets caught up in the drugged up candy haze and starts giggling, yeah you guys are gonna be happy alright, happy in a nice little drugged up stupor

lampshaded by John still reaching out to terezi despite being at his human wedding

Aww, trolls don’t have a concept of weddings? well, that makes sense but still

oh man it just keeps happening, this is supposed to be the story where John and Roxy get their love story, but all were actually getting is the faded echoes of what should have been which is apparently John and Terezi

oh god, Jane, jane why did Gamzee have to be your third partner, what the fuck even

I don’t wanna think about Gamzee about in relationships nope this is where I start getting uncomfortable

confirmed jade attempting Blackrom with Karkat, that’s interesting, and she’s bad at it too meaning she must not really have an interest in it

oh wow, she’s really just doing it because she thinks its what Karkat would want isnt she? Girl really is just desperate for love

“Three months later, John is still thinking about his last conversation with Terezi.”

See, this is how you know the JohnRoxy relationship is doomed/not meant to be

John Egbert, lover of Con Air and Nic Cage, has a loving wife and (probably) daughter and NOT ONCE has this narrative shown them OR made the joke, we just absolutely passed over the whole wedding and birth event in one fell swoop of unrequited feelings jam with another woman

Why is Roxy praying? That’s such a weird thing to drop as a small detail, who would she even be praying too?

“What’s bugging him about it is that Roxy didn’t seem to have any suggestions of her own.”

Yeah relationships built on social chameleon-ing aren’t happy for the chameleon either

Yeah John, little bit late to be having this sudden realization that you didn’t actually solve the problem (LE) by running away from it, even if everyone else has accepted that version of events

“ JOHN: you gave me a list of instructions and told me that i had to use my retcon powers to go back to a very specific point in time to defeat lord english when he was still just a kid. “

*THEORY INCOMING KILL BILL SIRENS ACTIVATE*

Wait, is that what Rose said at the beginning? No it isn’t, I remember the bit about John has to go back inside canon and defeat Lord English, I don’t think the method was ever fully explained though, nor the idea that he had to defeat him as a kid, it was never said he had to go back in time, just go back to canon

and that’s not what happened in the Meat timeline either! Nobody went back in time to defeat Caliborn when he was a kid, they just had the big showdown with LE exactly the way Rose is describing that went horribly wrong

this is practically screaming NEITHER Meat or Candy is the true version of events 

Actually yeah, defeating Caliborn really IS the way this should be settled, because it’s also the way that Dirk get saved as well, can’t get his ultimate self tainted if the taint is destroyed before it ever comes into contact with him

also im rereading the prologue now, it’s is NEVER explicitly said that John has to go and defeat lord english’s child form!

She said “you have to go back to canon to defeat LE” NOT go back in time to defeat caliborn

and “you can’t recklessly attack his hulking adult form without the house juju”

not “you can’t attack him as an adult at all” but “you can do that WITHOUT the juju” and describes it being used in the same way that Vriska ended up doing in Meat

yeah, she never mentions any plan to defeat him as a child in the prologue, which probably means Rose only saw a vision of his defeat as an adult as well

It’s gonna be JOHN who gets the idea to go back and kill him as a kid, because that’s how he understood Rose’s instructions!

But this is great, everything is vaguely worded enough that it COULD be applied to a fight against a young caliborn too! but just hasn’t yet!

What if you take the empty cursor and fill it with a young caliborn? instead of unleashing a full one against an adult LE? which proves to be pretty useless in the long run despite Rose’s apparent clouded vision?

Rose even says herself its only purpose is as an empty vessel meant to be filled by something, talk about totally understanding yet missing the point, this is probably what she meant by being unable to see any path beyond the meat or candy routes, she couldnt see the possibility of using the juju on caliborn before everything goes down just like how it was used on John and friends to trap them in there in Meat!

It’s Caliborn’s destined time out spot! Removing him from Canon and from being able to influence it without needing to kill someone who technically hasnt done bad things yet but absolutely will in the future solving the baby adolf problem with Caliborn

Oh man, what if they even trick Caliborn on using it against himself? talk about an earthbound reference, defeat Gigyas (LE) by tricking Pokey (Caliborn)  to trap himself in the "Absolutely Safe Capsule” (House JuJu)

Oh man back on the Candy train though John’s having an absolute breakdown, being infused with that canon retcon power seems to be the only thing preserving his ability to care about stuff beyond this happy drugged up paradise

Earth C has become Homestuck’s Ba Sing Se

“ He braces himself, as if splashing an imaginary glass of cold water in his own face, and reminds himself once again that he has a wonderful life. A perfect life. He’s HAPPY, god damn it.”

You really aren’t John, this is very clear, dousing yourself with some more Void to try and drown that out ain’t helping

[studythemacrocosm]

Free Printable to do list!!!

Smash it to do list 💫

Hi guys!!! I decided that for my first original post I would try to make it special, (totally inspired by the awesome printables of @emmastudies!!) so I designed this cute a5 to do list (and it took WAY longer than I thought hahahaha but it was honestly so worth it)

i really love the sticky note to-do lists from Knock Knock Stationery, especially the ‘Get Your Shit Together’, ‘Productive AF’, ‘Today’s The Day’ and ‘Today’s Plan Of Attack’ options, but I always thought how helpful it would be if I combined what I liked about each of my favourite to do lists into one.

So for example, what I thought was great about the ‘Get Your Shit Together’ pad was how it compartmentalised tasks into easy and more difficult ones, which was a good way of figuring out what tasks to get done first and which to do later. But the ‘Today’s Plan of Attack’ pad compartmentalised tasks in a different way: based on how important/critical they were: most critical; would be nice; not a chance. I thought that it would be helpful to use both methods of compartmentalisation, because figuring out what was both easy and most critical but also the least important and most difficult would allow me to easily decide which tasks to get done first, based on two criteria. 

The ‘Today’s The Day’ pad was always perfect for me because the separation of tasks into ‘Morning’, ‘Afternoon’, and ‘Evening’ gave me enough structure to keep me focused on tasks, whilst not being too strict and confined for me too follow. Personally, I’ve always found that simply writing a long to-do list for the entire day was way too flexible and quite overwhelming - there wasn’t enough structure and guide in order to motivate me to get everything done. But equally, planning every single hour of my day into sections proved to be way too stifling for me, because I feel like it was unrealistic for me to actually follow the to-do list perfectly. I found that using the ‘morning; afternoon; evening’ method was perfect in giving me the flexibility I wanted but also the structure to organise myself and get stuff done. Additionally, since I am very a much a morning person, using this method was also very helpful in making me plan my day so it could be the most effective - i.e. placing the more difficult tasks in the morning and keeping the easier, shorter tasks in the afternoon and evening worked perfectly for me and enabled me to be my most productive! 

As a result, I decided to incorporate all of these elements into one to-do lists (which was quite a task in itself lol) but I’m quite happy with how it turned out! I wanted to put my own personal spin on the ‘‘Today’s Plan of Attack’ pad from the Knock Kncon Stationery range, so I represented the urgency of a task with the letter ‘U’ and three red exclamation marks for an extremely important task; two organe exclamation marks for an important task; and one green exclamation mark for a less important task. However, I pretty much kept the ‘Easy Shit’ / ‘Tough Shit’ aspect the same (except removing the swear word, trying to keep this PG haha) and the ‘Morning; Afternoon; Evening’ aspect the same too. I was also inspired by Ruby Granger’s Pumpkin Productivity ‘Master To Do List’ with regards to the key, because I absolutely loved the idea of colour coding tasks based on their estimated length of time, as this is another way of compartmentalising tasks based on a set of criteria. (as you can tell I’m all about compartmentalising haha ;) ) I also like the inclusion of a key based on what type of task you’re doing, which can be written in a specific colour, because it encourages you to vary your day and not be stuck on what type of task for too long (i.e. studying) as it’s important to make time to exercise, socialise, and relax!

I tried to organise the printable to be easy to use - choose a different colour pen for each type of task (using the key to distinguish which colour corresponds to which task) and then write them with a particular colour. Also colour code the timings based on your colour preference for short/medium/long tasks, and colour in the adjoining column marked 'L' based on how long each task will be. Then just cross off the tasks as you go along!

I also wanted to colour the background of the three separate times of the day to make the to-do list look a bit more fun, and I chose from my 3 favourite colours! 

So there we have it, my first original post yayyy and a free printable!! I sincerely apologise for how much rambling there is in this post but I’m just so excited that after so many hours I’ve finally finished with the printable to post it here!!! thank you x

[inhalareexhalare]

The menstrual cycle begins. I usually feel pain until the third day at most, but I can move just fine.

Slow, but with fight in it Like embers of honey

It scorches the eyes But is sweet to the palm

Did you know by the way? The faster and the hotter you heat honey, the more you reduce its nutritional value. So yes, while it has a very warm color, its temperature is usually not the same :)

2018-10-23 10:00 Philippines Tuesday

My daytime journal has been discontinued due to its tendency to take over my whole identity. I somewhat live [a double life], you could say, and I am now exploring my nighttime psyche.

This is my heartfelt "letter" to @neweresth​ (CHECK OUT neweresth IN YOUR DASHBOARD BTW IT WILL ROCK YOUR DORMANT WORLD), who inspires me to keep learning and discover my photographic sense.

True enough, this nighttime journal has been a very big compilation of crunchy insights to my deep-deep-down subconscious, which in my opinion takes a big bite off the whole pie of what makes the self.

I've been anxious about how to teach for a time now. It's like a secret calling, a secret dream that I have that I quietly—and secretly—shut off every time it resurfaces.

The reason is my ineptitude with socializing. Communication, especially verbal, has always been hard for me.

My English teachers throughout my school life (and even outside its premises) have doubted my authorship of countless papers I've written, all due to the fact that I navigate speech poorly, yet apparently write eloquently enough above my age.

That has discouraged me from honing my lesser swords. The possibility of never growing out of anything.

But that's bullshit.

I write because I love. I write because I want to communicate. Communicate!

I write for no one else other than for the truths that live inside me, and they are written for no one else but others who could do with a genuine story that cares about their beautiful and suffering minds.

I am socially inept. I am antisocial, by the world's standards. But that doesn't change what I write for.

I write to learn.

Likewise I will teach to learn.

Maybe I am bad at it. Maybe it takes talent.

But nothing good has ever touched and transformed hearts and minds other than that which has originated from those very things.

Talent is a gift indeed.

But heart even more so; it is both curse and privilege.

The pain that makes us human. The agony that teaches us what is real. The happiness that guides us to what is worth living for.

If I had all power, and all talent, all knowledge, and all beauty. If I had all riches, and all the admiration, and fame, and number of friends--

If I have not love, I am nothing.

PS I really do love movies. If you’re an aspiring writer, or a writer with fluctuating inspiration, do watch The Rewrite. Check out  1 Corinthians 13:2

“And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” 

2018-10-23 18:07 Philippines Tuesday

"Keenness, spontaneity, and trusting the moment..."

I entered the room to discover a Thor exploring the wonders of my film-filled laptop.

I took my favorite Nuyorican Poets Cafe book to read and learn. Stepped out to the living room filled with people and stretched my legs to feel at home on the couch. I made a re-friend! :) Yana approached me and asked about the book.

I didn't know she was interested in prose and poetry! She also writes snippets here and there sometimes. I told her to collect them.

I asked for recommendations, since strangely enough, even though I like to write I don't have a wide background when it comes to poetry from the celebrated and the local poets alike.

I don't know why I didn't read them sooner.

Keep learning!

2018-10-23 19:31 Philippines Tuesday

To Karu:

Sorry for imposing on you last night. I just really do value good sleep. I don't know about you but I can't workout without it, and it also affects the general mood and brain function.

I still don't know what to do about it. Everyone seems to enjoy not sleeping at night, but I don't feel like conforming to it especially since I see its daily effects on me. You can actually join stuff like that if you like. I was thinking that we both need sleep desperately, but I realized that I might have been forcing/pressuring you to go to bed.

Though I do request to have no guests in the late night of this approaching Saturday. I'm going to need tons of energy and also an early alarm since I will be called for work (thank God they allowed me to go to church first)

(Even if I did only request it, that doesn't change what it might have felt to you. So again, I apologize if a part of you was in unease or anything.)

I love you

[25 minutes later]

I would like to kiss you all over, but that will rouse you from sleep.

I love you, and I love you to death.

2018-10-24 06:21 Philippines Wednesday

From Isla:

"My tita and tito from [the] US are here in the PH right now

"and they said im too young to be in a relationship.

"and gave this vibe like......don't be in one right now.

"i really appreciate the love and support from them ofc

"it's just....medj na-down ako lol" [I was a bit downhearted lol]

To Isla:

I'm assuming they aren't free thinkers, your aunt and uncle hahaha

They probably are right, but if you think about it that observation is only relative to an imaginary concept which is the future

In my opinion, no one is too old, and no one is too young. It's never too late, and it's never too early

There's only now, and a moment's opportunity to come to a decision

There's only now, and a moment's commitment to be true to who you are at this point in time

Only what is existent after all counts as truth :) the future is yet to happen, and both possible and unlikely

Entrusting the sense of reality to tomorrow, in other words, a question mark seems illogical to me

The BEAUTIFUL book you gave me about the deaf-mutes gave me this idea

The future is not a universal or "natural" concept

[Check out Seeing Voices by Oliver Sacks]

And the past is not more real than a memory is. And we all know how nearly inexistent memories are. That's all they are--memories.

From Isla:

"Those are beautiful thoughts. :)

"Reading it really helped me.

"I'm thankful that i have you in my life."

[An hour later]

"Did other people tell you the same thing before? if you don't mind me asking

"Have you ever been so hard on yourself one time in your life, and eventually you stopped it?

What did you do to overcome it?"

To Isla:

Personally, it takes me a continuous amount of effort to stand up against the self-hatred. Some say it's a lifelong sickness we have as humans, and it seems true to me

(also, writing heals both the writer, and hopefully the reader, so it's mutually a good thing, hopefully hahaha)

It's like the motivation to commit to a vocation

It's not natural to be motivated at every moment of your life, but we seek to make it a habit

Habits form the shape that our thoughts and feelings take. Like my nighttime anxiety. It was developed because I gained the habit of thinking that I am alone and abandoned every time these factors come together: it is nighttime, and I am physically alone

I unconsciously associate the scenery with something from the past that reminds me of a similar situation, but is actually entirely different

In fact it dates back to the time I was still very close to my mother. We still loved each other as I grew up, but not too close as to always be hugging every chance we get

It dates back to when I was a little girl of age 5 at most (since the scenes were from my Atimonan home, and we left that when I entered elementary)

Habits don't die on their own. They cannot be thrown away just like that. But, they can be replaced

If I can create a little nighttime routine, even just cue words or a little ritual, that could change a lot. I just need consistency because some nights I'm too tired and I forget to pray or to practice deep breaths and stuff. And when I find myself alone again, it starts all over; I get anxious as hell

So maybe the first step before changing your habits would be to forgive yourself

We are imperfect, at that is incurable. But we have the potential for growth, and that is at least forgivable. We can learn from our mistakes, so we shouldn't let ourselves down from them.

They are there to give us two options: give up, or try again.

Changing a habit is probably going to take more tries than my fingers can count, but hey we're still alive and breathing, so I presume Life is willing to give us as many chances as we need in a lifetime

Failure is unfortunate, but failure is an important mark of what truly matters to you.

If it's worth more than the self-obsessive need to be successful, and if it means your life and your calling and a better world, it's at least worth trying again, no? :)

When people bring you down, they could be there for a good reason, and that's not to bring you down. Maybe that's hardly what they wanted to do in the first place.

We need to learn to assert our own beliefs and stand up to them. Maybe they think it's all just a whim because they don't understand yet how it matters to you, and what it means to grow up.

Growing up means making mistakes (your relationship is not necessarily a mistake haha), getting up, and learning something new.

Learning something new always requires a new experience.

Learning something new always means stepping out of your comfort zone and into unknown territory.

If you end up hurt, that's fine, we're here for you. What's important is that the lessons are not lost. What you learn is what you grow out into.

So don't ever stop learning. :)

Learn to stand up for what you believe in.

Don't be afraid to share what you have learned!

But never impose beyond your personal right to live. Nothing teaches an individual more than a personal experience.

We each take our own paths, and each take our own lessons in life, in forms that we are ready to understand.

And if advice or conversation cannot help your case with them, then you've done your part.

All you need to do is live your life and live it honestly enough for it to speak for itself

2018-10-24 07:00 Philippines Wednesday

[abrahamsnotes]

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕊𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕕

Let’s go back years ago! When I was young and dumb haha😅..

So where do I start? What age should I start ? hmmm... Okay not too far so when I was in primary school I used to fight a lot with my friends, sometimes just for fun and sometimes for real😣 I had a lot of problems in schools, yeah schools because I went to 4 different schools, cause I was a disruptive child, I did a lot of stupid things, I talked a lot in class and I was bothering the class, teachers and everything, like alwaays 😅 I even broke a kid’s arm in a fight😣😣 So yeaah this period was full of fights but it was also a good period I made really good friends ! Even though I’m not seeing them anymore😔 But I still can contact them on social media so its fine. (Why am I telling you this you’ll see it later)

Now we are entering one of my worst period, I think it was actually my worst years but thankful that I came out stronger! So let me tell you what happened those years in “collège” (middle school I think, I don’t know). So the first year lol I was still fighting yeah :/, but less than before ! And it was more fighting for fun like class vs another class. So yeah this is where I met my bestfriend Bilel, we didn’t like each other at first and we got into a little fight for nothing, and then we became bestfriends! I was still a disruptive child, always bothering teachers etc ! next year hmm one day I played basketball, I was doing very good until a guy kicked me behind the shin and it broke...😥 so I went to the hospital I stayed like 2 weeks, I had surgery, my very first surgery I stayed in the hospital alone, very bored watching TV. It was like a torture, but the most painful thing was the probe, they put a tube in your thingy and press your belly to remove the pee anyways, it was the most painful thing i’ve ever felt physically ! But the most heartwarming part was when I received letters from my friends and my principal, and they were texting me and sending me messages like “please come back quickly we miss you” and yeah it was heartwarming. Next year I had a sprain on my knee in the same leg (left one) by playing basketball again, and my knee moved but it was okay I just couldn’t walk properly. Next year, I broke my right leg, in handball, I was crying not because I broke my leg but because I was tired of breaking my legs 😔 So I had another surgery and I got homeschooled, for 4 months. I lost a lot of weight , I became really skinny! 😩 After that the next year I couldn’t walk properly so I had another surgery on the left knee because the knee wasn’t in the right place, so yeah my whole “collège” years I was basically spending more time in a hospital than my school.

High school, My first year in high school was very hard, I was scared when it was sports class, because we did the 3x500m, so I was scared to run because it was the first time I was running after 2 years not running 😣 but came out really good actually, I came 2nd ! Well anyway, so yeah this year was the year I got to know a little bit about Jesus, cause yeah my parents are christians and I was raised in the christian world but I wanted to get out of this, because I didn’t like to go to church and stuff like that, I was bored and always sleeping. Anyway, I was saying that this was the year I got to know I little bit about Jesus, because one of my classmate was in a Gospel choir and she invited me to join her group, so I went with a friend of mine and then we started to hanging out with each other ! I really liked the gospel choir they were very welcoming and everything and this is where I started singing, I sang when i was younger but not that serious and I was saying to myself I can’t sing. But this gospel thing really helped me open myself not in singing but I became a little bit more confident about myself. But at the time I was singing because I always liked to sing but I did that for myself only not for the glory of God. Same year this is where I entered the church i’m in right now called CEC, and this is where I entered the youth group there ! Second year I entered the choir, by an audition ! But still I was singing because I like to sing, but over time I learned that, God gave me this gift, and He wanted me to use this gift to give praise to him ! So he gave me an opportunity to share my gift to others by a Youth concert! It was the first time I was singing a solo in front of people ! It was a big challenge for me, because I was so nervous and I was scared to fail, the song I sang was God will make a way by Don Moen, this song always reminds me of my dad because he was singing this song all the time ! And yeah God made a way for me because I was lost, I didn’t know what to do after my surgeries I was depressed I thought my life was pointless not to the point I wanted to kill myself but I felt useless :/ but he made a way that I didn’t know I was actually following. So yeah after the concert I became even more confident than before and I stopped fightings! But yeah I still had struggles and pains on other things. I was struggling in school because I was still a disruptive child haha and always bothering teachers, I didn’t change on this side, struggling in relationships too lol😅. But entering this church and the youths was a start for me to change.

Last year of high school, I was still a clown in class, always the one to do stupid things to make laugh my classmates, this is how I became close with every class I had, by making them laugh ! But this last year I became a little bit more serious because it was the BAC, final exams ! So yeah at the end of the year I was praying God to guide me and help me, but still I said that if it’s your will for me to not pass those exams then your will be done, if it’s your will for me to pass then I will pass those exams ! I felt bad about praying only for this moment, because I wasn’t praying that much but when it comes to this haha suddenly you need God ? You need God everyday of your life ! Not only when you want to ! So yeah I felt bad for this! So I passed yeeey !🙌🙌

After this, I went to uni, but didn’t work out ! And I started a relationship with someone and I got my first work, In a shoe store where I met a lot of good people, but this year was really tiring gosh, cause I was more and more absent in the church and the youths ! And my relationship :/ she was upset because for her I was here but not here (if you know what i mean), and I was doing my best to make her happy and everything, I was buying her clothes and everything, but still :/ it wasn’t enough, I gave her my time in my day off, I canceled plans with some friends because she wanted to see me and if i didn’t see her, she would sulk me🙄. Anyway really tiring year, so one year past and I broke up with her 😕 It was hard, very hard because 1 year its not nothing! But I think it was for the best because she became closer to God, she created a relationship with him, and like I always say “We may have lost a relationship, but she won a bigger one and I became closer to him too” and I am very happy for her. And this is where I really changed, there was a hillsong young and free free concert! I went with some youths and it was waaaw, I didn’t want the concert to finish it was overwhelming ! This was the time I decided to surrender my life to him, to God! So after that he gave me a lots of trials and tests, because the more you get closer to God the more tests and trials you have ! I applied for nike and I had an interview and I was waiting for their answer, It was very long so I started to pray a lot but no answer and I was angry, for a long time but then it hit me I had to wait because his timings is perfect ! So yeah I waited a little bit more and boum I got the job ! He taught me patience! Then the fasting was approaching, and when it came, I decided to fast anger, because I was warm-blooded, I could get angry very fast ! (this is why I was always talking about fighting and everything, I used to fight a lot because I’m warm-blooded and hyperactive so yeah not the good combo) So when I decided that, God knew that I was going to fast this, so he gave me a lot of trials and tests, some tests i’ve failed really badly, because he wasn’t only testing my anger, but he was testing my faith in him, If I had a problems I was going to rely on him, but I’m human and human make mistakes ! But every decisions you make God can still work in you even if it’s bad or good, you just have to ask wisdom and guidance. So yeah I made mistakes, but I don’t regret it, I’ve learned from it, And I wouldn’t even be here now, those mistakes I made, made me who I am now and it lead me to someone I never thought I would be with now✨✨ And I’m really blessed to be by her side, and it might sound corny but I hope to be by her side forever, God was preparing me for this relationship, cause now I see why my other relationships didn’t work... God should be the foundation of all relationships, my girlfriend told me “If everyone was searching for a Godly relationship, there would be no more heartbreaks” So yeah I could still talk about my relationship now but I prefer to keep the details for now personal.

To conclude God changed me and saved me, I became less angry, I’m for peace now haha😂, don’t wanna get into fights anymore, I became more patient, I pray a lot more than before, I read my bible ALMOST everyday cause yeah sometimes I don’t. So that’s it, I’m sure I forget to say some things but it’s fine It’s long enough. Thanks for reading ! If I did some mistakes let me know and If went this far waw🙌 I would be bored if was you