#also the last chap is giving me anxiety YET AGAIN!!!!

[ceilidho]

HIIIII

are you going to finish sirius c bc i loved it and im kinda delusional and i just keep thinking that you're going to come out with this 200 page book for the third chapter but honestly i take everything you give me and more and i love you ok bye 💞💞💞

I love u love u love u ❤️❤️❤️❤️ but u either get 4000 words of pure price/reader smut after I blueballed everyone or the last chapter of Sirius c, I can only do 1 at a time

[kelliecthulhu]

Comfort

I seem to have a season pass on the Struggle Bus so this is just self-indulgent angst and fluff? Please don’t @ me if you think I got a character wrong its angsty most people are gunna be little shits

Notes: Angsty gender-neutral reader, established relationship with Trey and Deuce (separate), happy ending tho :)

Warnings: Descriptions of depression, anxiety, disassociation, and attempted underage drinking 

(I'm fiiiiiiiine sometimes just gotta purge the sad out by writing) Okay, but for real if anyone gets worried seriously I'm mentally way better than the fic sometimes it's just nice to feel strong emotions if that makes sense?

Trey

Even before you were thrown into Night Raven College you know you struggled with anxiety and mental illness. You don't remember if it had ever gotten this bad though. Funnily enough, your anxiety had been at peak levels so often your brain finally shut down. Now the loud static in your veins had turned to cold numbness. One moment your skin was too tight and the next, almost as if a switch had been flipped, soothing indifference flooded your senses. Instead of chewing your chapped lips every time Grim, Ace, or Deuce did something, you had a hollow smile. It was like a weight had been lifted from your chest while also completely encompassing you. You chuckled thinking about the crescendo of music in a horror movie where there is that brief moment of silence before the climax. You existed in that purgatory between beats aware that at some point the music would come crashing down on you again but for now there was only blissful nothingness. The tipping point had been just a few hours ago in Crowley's office.

He claimed to be hard at work looking for a way to return you home while reminding you of his "generosity" and asking yet another favor in return. His polite smile curved up just a bit too high his eyes under the mask glowing with an ominous light. That moment was when you realized you would never go home. Every day felt like a battle to keep Grim in line so you could endear the headmaster to help you in your quest to go home. You realized that was all in vain because he had just shown his true colors. This was a school for villains and he would never give up his control over you. You had plastered a smile to your face and agreed to whatever he had asked while the last shred of hope combusted along with any self-preservation. As soon as you left his office you found the triad of trouble and decided that you would go along with whatever heinous plan they would come up with this time.

That is how you had been nominated to sneak into the Heartslabyul kitchen to steal your boyfriend Trey's fancy cooking wine. He had been one of the few reprieves since you were forced into this world, but now you didn't want to think about him. In the back of your mind, you knew he would be disappointed in you and that hurt worse than him being mad or even dumping you for your reckless behavior. The normal anticipation and dread from doing something so risky was gone, instead, you felt cool disinterest. You only agreed to this so you could have something to keep the ringing out of your ears and the buzzing of nerves at bay. You had been so focused on completing your task that you didn't hear the quick retreat of footsteps behind you or the slight rustle of clothes before you were plucked off the counter that you had been climbing to get to the alcohol. You didn't even register that you had failed at first. Your eyes were so focused on the cupboard that was now drifting further from view as you bounced over someone's shoulder. What a good metaphor for my life you thought as you were placed in a brightly lit bathroom. It was at that moment you noticed you had been caught by Trey.

"(Y/N) are you listening to me? What is going on I haven't been able to contact you all day and then I find you climbing the counter to get to my cooking wine. What has happened to you?" Trey has a flush color to his cheeks you've never seen before. He looks mad nothing like Riddle's anger but nevertheless, his breathing seems more shallow than normal and he has almost a feral look to his eyes. Weird, not how you had expected him to react. You honestly never thought the day would come when Trey Clover got upset. You then start to look around the space you're in instead of answering his questions. You aren't trying to ignore him but you also don't want to release the feeling of control you have with your detachment. You float in your mind as an observer of your life right now not really present but still controlling the camera. This has to be his bathroom you surmise. It is way too organized to be one of the lower classmen's and you see the array of teeth cleaning tool-

"WHAT THE FUCK" you scream as cold water is unceremoniously dumped over your head. Trey tosses the small cleaning bucked aside and grabs your shoulders panic seeping into his eyes and your anger dissipates. "Please just look at me," this time he pleads his hazel eyes glistening with tears. "Please say something, anything so I know you're in there little heartstopper. Why are you so far away when I am right here? What do you need just say the word and it is yours, just...just come back," Trey whispers the last part pushing hair out of his eyes and searching yours. Maybe it is his disheveled appearance, the slight shakiness of his words, or the warmth seeping from his hands to your shoulders but you break. Like a rubber band stretched too tight all of a sudden awareness presses back in on you. Your eyes burn with the flood of sensations and all you can force out is three words, "I'm scared Trey." Then you can't stop the tears or the sobs that escape your chest.

Trey heaves out a heavy sigh laced with relief and worry. He grabs a clean towel wrapping you in it before picking you up again to curl up on his bed. You are fully wrapped in his embrace with his faint scent of sugar cookies calming you. Slowly the static cacophony is replaced by his low warm voice whispering sweet nothings while he rubs steady circles along your back. You look up at him blurry-eyed and press closer. "(Y/N) I was so scared too. It was like watching a loved one slowly die except I couldn't figure out what was wrong, I still don't really. I wanted so desperately to reach you but each time I tried it felt like you were farther and farther away. Can you tell me what's going on even just a little bit? I love you, you know that? More than the smell of freshly baked bread or ripe strawberries," Trey adds with a small smile intentionally bringing up two of your favorite things. "Are you trying to make me hungry?" you ask fighting your own grin that had snuck up on you. "I would do no such thing," Trey defends, "Why would I ever purposefully bring up two of your favorite foods that your perfect boyfriend could make a reality?" his eyes try to bleed innocence while the corner of his mouth tilts up in a smirk. You sigh and grab his hand looking away, "Okay I will tell you only if I also get tea with my treats." You swear you have never seen anyone light up with more purpose than Trey does in that moment. "For you little heartstopper I would try my best to give you the world on a platter if that was your desire." He holds your gaze for a few moments longer before pressing his lips to your forehead and pulling you into another tight hug.

Deuce

Tick. Tick. Tick. You couldn't get the sound of the clock or the scratching of pen on paper out of your head. Professor Trein had turned class into a study hall which meant everyone had to be silently taking notes. This had given you way too much time alone with your thoughts. Since you had been transported here every day made you feel like one of the tigers you had seen at the zoo. You had no magical talent yet were forced to attend classes and live here. Your basic needs were provided on the whim of the headmaster and that was determined by how well you could corral Grim which let's be real was almost never. You had to make sure you passed so Grim could get his wish of being a student. Your life and choices constantly were being determined by others while you had to sit back and let it happen. Just like those tigers the only world you now had was dictated by others. Tick. Tick. Tick. The methodical and steady rhythm made you more aware of your heartbeat. Was it in sync or going faster than the clock? Why could you start to feel invisible ants crawling across your skin? You could hear your pulse and breaths getting louder with each click of the clock hand. You had your book up high to cover the creeping panic attack threatening to taking you under.

You were too caught up in your spiral to notice Grim and Ace until it was too late. They were having an increasingly violent tug of war over a sheet of notes.  Unfortunately their paper finally tore in half the lack of tension sending Ace into you and your book being flung from your grasp. The cherry on top of the shit sundae was the perfect arch it flew hitting Trein’s cat squarely in the face. “Mx. (Y/N)!,” Trein roared. “Detention and you will have disciplinary action taken against you for goofing off in my class yet again,” he continued his face getting red while he inspected his cat for injuries. You spun around trying to get the boys to fess up to their wrong doing but your boyfriend Deuce wasn’t in this class so no one was here to make them. No, like always you were now having to take care of a mess they caused but wanted no part in the consequence. When you rose your voice to try and plead your case that Grim and Ace had been the reason for your mishap no sound came out. “I do not need to hear excuses besides you are supposed to be SILENTLY studying what part of that has been made unclear? You will be expected to reflect on your poor behavior as well now sit back down.” Trein demanded leveling you with a look of pure malice for daring to put his pet in harms way. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. The noise of the clock was only escalating the building panic you felt rising in your gut. You felt an urge to scratch at the prickles along your skin as if your body was no longer your own. Your eyes began to well up with tears as you begged the universe why is everything those idiots do my fault. You looked back at Ace and Grim trying to convey with your body language that they need to tell Trein the truth. Instead they both had their heads down pretending to be model students. “I will not ask you again, sit down,” Trein coldly repeated. Tick. Tick. Tick. Those three beats of the clock was all it took for your to run out of the classroom before Trein could do anything else to punish you. You sprinted as far away as you could trying to process the strange sensation of running and breathing hard without making a single sound. You didn’t want silence though you needed to scream to cry to let your voice get obliterated from the rage and dread building inside of you. The edges of your vision started to go dark as you felt yourself breathing harder and harder willing yourself to make any noise to ease the horror growing. What wouldn’t this cruel place take from you.

All of a sudden you are yanked from the ground into a rough hug. How had you ended up on the floor? Weren’t you just moving, but a worried voice interrupts your thoughts “(Y/N) what happened? I saw you running from my classroom window and then you collapsed. Is someone chasing you?” Deuce glares over your shoulder a bit of his past self leaking through his features in that moment as his face takes on a hard edge. You go limp in his arms as you lose whatever strength you had left as you are filled with relief and renewed anxiety at him seeing you. Not only had you never told your boyfriend about your mental blocks but you did not want him to see you lose your shit. Yet that was exactly what you were doing because the floodgate had finally been opened. Deuce gently lowers you both down but his concerned expression only grows as he realizes you aren’t making any sounds despite the tears and distress written on your face. He gently cups your tear stained face as he searches your eyes, “Sweetheart who did this to you?” Deuce asks again his eyes softening as he looks you over. You type in your phone explaining to him what happened via text. His eyes get angrier as he reads over what transpired and before you can blink he is up and striding in the direction of your classroom.

You scramble up shaking your head and pulling on his arm. You have seen this look only once and that was when Ace had made an inappropriate joke about Deuce’s mother. Deuce had reminded Ace that day who he used to be. Instead of pushing you away as you tried to stop him he grabbed your hand in his surprisingly gentle as his face hardened with every step. He slammed the classroom door open while still holding your hand. He gave a death stare at Grim and Ace letting them know later there would be words and probably violence but then his eyes went to Trein. You stood there confused as to what he could possibly do as Trein yelled at him for disturbing his class. “With all due respect teach go fuck yourself,” Deuce stated venom dripping off his tongue as he conjured a cauldron. It wasn’t aimed at the professor though the heavy object crushed Trein’s focus that had been sitting on his desk. As it broke so did his spell’s hold on you. You didn’t even have time to fully process what had happened before Deuce was pulling you back out of the classroom in a dead sprint. You both ran all the way to the hall of mirrors since it was one of the furthest places on campus. It was also one of the least visited areas since most people didn’t have any business to be there after the entrance ceremony.

After the two of you caught your breath Deuce pulled you against him your forehead touching his. “I think that is the most impulsive thing I have done since my delinquent days, but I can’t lie that felt so good,” he murmured his eyes alight in a chaotic joy. It wasn’t until that moment you noticed you had a smile on your face. “You’re right Deuce, what you did back there was amazing,” you confessed feeling a lightness in your chest that hadn’t existed since you got here. His eyebrow raise conspiratorially “Wanna do something even more fun? I think it will help with whatever has been troubling you lately. It’s what I used to do to let off steam.” His voice had slipped from its usual proper tone into an informal slang that got your heart rate accelerating this time for pleasurable reasons. You happily accepted and knew that whatever transpired between you two today would be a tomorrow problem. He stood up and offered his hand to help you up then he turned around and walked to the center of the room. “You ready?” he called with a wink. You had no clue what he was going to do but excitedly nodded your head, then he screamed. His voice echoed around the room but he didn’t stop. Deuce screamed until the need to breathe outweighed his desire to release his frustrations, then he spun around and threw a rock fast and hard at whatever mirror he was facing. The loud splintering of glass punctuated his wild display. He pushed his hair out of his face with a pleased huff his energy manic as he looked back at you motioning to join him, “Your turn doll.” You shivered at this unknown side of him and new pet name. This was a school filled with villians, time to damn well act like one. You nudged him aside and took a deep breath pulling all of your anxiety, fear, and frustrations together before releasing it out into the loudest scream you could manage. You shouted for what felt like a minute and an eternity. You stood there yelling until your throat was raw. When you opened your eyes Deuce had a devilish grin while his palm cupped a smooth rock. You plucked it from his hand and threw it as hard as you could right next to the mirror he broke. The sound of shattering glass filled your ears like music. You spun around and pulled Deuce into a kiss. You wondered if this is how the tigers at the zoo would feel if you had broken them out of their cages.

[ramzawrites]

Hey, so I'm having a really rough time rn (dealing with bs from my friend group, we have to take my really old dog to the vet today bc we found blood in her pee and we're scared that she won't make it this time, I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just kinda goin thru it rn ig) so I would love a comfort fic with the sbi maybe with the reader as their sibling where the reader is the one that always comforts the fam, but hides their emotions until (1/2, very sorry about splitting it)

(2/2) something happens that makes the reader have a full on breakdown? I'll leave the rest to you, it can be a good or bad ending, headcanons or one shots, anything. You can ignore this request if you want/if it makes you uncomfortable. Please don't feel pressured/guilt tripped to write anything from this, your mental health comes first and I'm sure you're already really busy. Reminder to eat something today if you haven't yet and get a drink of water <3

We are family - Reader and SBI!Brothers

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, (mentioned) Niki, (mentioned) Schlatt

Warnings: n/a

Series: a request <3

Summary: Y/N came back from an errand and surprises their brothers with their weird behavior. Trying to put on their usual smile, trying to hide away their real emotions but their brothers know them better than they inititally suspected. They could immediately tell that something must have happened.

Words count: 2060

Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long! I hope you and your dog are doing better! 💙 I wish I could give you more than words of encouragement and that I managed to get faster to this request, I apologize Please make sure to take care of yourself, alright? Take time for yourself to deal with the stress and anxiety! Make sure to stay hydrated and remember to eat! Even if it’s just something small!

Once again I apologize for the long wait, I felt really bad already and then I kinda put it off because I felt bad.

adhd hit hard again and haven’t checked for typos yet, but will get on it as soon as I can o7

On another note if you want to read another comfort fic; I have a small series called “A Painful Reminder” which is more angsty but the 2nd part is more about the comfort, if that is something for you 

Living in the SMP was chaotic, turbulent and at times downright painful.

Most people tended to gravitate to one cause or other people to deal with this. Holding on to something so they don’t get pulled under. Get buried beneath the chaos and the violence.

So having people like Y/N around was like a godsend. They were one of the few people that seemed to be able to withstand the constant waves of misfortune and stand strong. Be the rock to hold onto when everything got too overwhelming.

Wilbur, Technoblade and Tommy loved their sibling for it.

After Wilbur and Tommy got exiled with Y/N out of L’Manberg, they were there and cheered both of their siblings up. Immediately making plans on how to set up a safe home and collecting ideas on how to get back. They were the one who managed to get a message out to Technoblade and asked him to visit them. Maybe help them.

Wilbur often jokingly said that Y/N was the glue that held the family together, to which they would always reply with the warmest of smiles “I’m glad.”

And what he said was true. Whenever the family fell on hard times and they began to drift apart it was Y/N who pulled all of them back. Pulling them back to reality and giving solutions for their problems if needed.

Sitting down with Wilbur when things got to much. Listening to his thoughts and worries, letting his emotion run freely without judgement. While they looked worried for him, their comforting smile never faltered. Offering him solutions to problems if he wanted it, otherwise they gave him the chance to just air his own thoughts out. To be angry with him. Sad with him.

Working with Tommy on his own projects. Listening to his ideas and giving him a different perspective that could improve some things but also respecting it when Tommy wanted to do this his way. And while he liked to brag and pretend that some things didn’t hit him that hard, they were still patiently listening to him as he spoke about his own pain in a more roundabout way. Telling him that he was not alone and making him feel heard.

Talking to Technoblade whenever the voices got too loud or out of hand again. He would just walk over to them and nudge them away, asking them to talk about something, no matter what. He just needed to hear their voice and be able to concentrate on it. Tune out the garbled voices in his head with a familiar sound that calmed him down no matter what. Leaning against them, slowly falling asleep as Y/N told all about how they were happily working on their own farm and what shenanigans they got up to.

Y/N really was like the warm sun on a cold day. Warming them up and protecting them.

Yes, Y/N was strong. So strong that even Technoblade considered them stronger than him. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally.

A clanging of metal rung through the cave. Techno was training with Wilbur while Tommy was just watching. Cheering on Techno.

It wasn’t an unusual situation and something Y/N expected to see as they made their way down the staircase. Wilbur in full iron armor and weapon while Techno just fought back with his own iron sword.

“Hey, Y/N! Welcome back!” Wilbur breathed out. Sweat running down the side of his face as he stopped attacking his brother.

The three men looked happily over to their sibling who slowly walked towards them but soon their expressions fell. Something was off about Y/N and it confused the three.

Their smile was as always plastered on their face but it looked strained. Their eyes wide open, trying to look sincere and loving but the glassy look of them gave off a different picture.

“Y/N? You okay?” Tommy asked as he stood up from the ground. Taking a step closer to them which made them in return stop in their tracks.

Y/N was hugging themself, shakily opening up their mouth to answer but nothing came out. It was then when Techno got very aware of how they were shaking in general.

This all seemed so wrong. This shouldn’t be possible. It just didn’t seem to register fully inside their minds.

Wilbur made sure to get rid off his sword and armor as fast as he could, walking over to his sibling, trying to get a better look at them but they just avoided his gaze.

Staring at the ground, slowly shaking their head “It’s- It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. You really aren’t. What happened? Did they find you?” Techno asked, his voice full with worry. A bit of anger hidden as well.

Y/N had their own little farm in order to support Pogtopia. The potatoes from Techno were great but variety is important after all. Though they also had an abundance of wheat they usually tried to smuggle into Manberg for Niki. Trying to help her out as much as possible with her taxes and work.

This time Y/N nodded “They did… It’s fine though. I’m fine. I’m not hurt. It’s all good.”

Wilbur’s frown deepened “Usually when people have to be so adamant about being okay something isn’t alright.”

Tommy nodded, supporting his statement only to whisper to himself “Adamant? What does-“

But Wilbur continued “We are your family, talk to us.”

Y/N licked their chapped lips “I’m-“

The tears finally escaped their eyes and begun streaming down their face. Sobbing they fell down on the ground. Wilbur immediately followed suit, laying his arm around them and pulling them against his chest. His hand flew up to their head and begun going through their hair, trying to calm them down. Humming a soft tune from their childhood.

It was the first time in their lives they saw Y/N break down like that and it was quite frankly shocking.

Unsure what to do with himself Tommy squatted down “Um, uh, what- what happened?”

Techno was still gripping the iron sword in his hand. Pacing up and down. Manberg found them? What the hell did they do to make Y/N break down like that? His own sibling! Whatever it was he would make sure to pay it back a thousand times over.

“Tommy can you grab them some water?” Wilbur laid his chin on top of Y/N’s head, rubbing circles now on their back.

He didn’t even hesitate, jumping up to run towards one of the chests with food items that Y/N had always ready for them. Grabbing a water bottle and running back over. Happy that he could do something else besides staring.

Tommy then pushed the bottle towards Y/N who gratefully took it, putting some space between them and Wilbur as they drank some of the cold liquid which helped them to calm down.

“You ready to tell us what happened?” Techno stopped pacing around. His gaze purely trained on his crying sibling. Anger still rising in him just like the voices.

Screaming things like “Technosib! How dare they hurt them! Protect them! I love Y/N so much! Why would anyone hurt Y/N! They always help us! Let’s help them for a change! Technosib! Let’s go out and fight them! Yeah! Blood for the Blood God and Y/N!”

Y/N’s voice was still wavering and a bit scratchy from their sobbing as they begun speaking “Hey, hey! Techno don’t concentrate on the voices. Listen to me. It’s all good.”

This somehow made Techno angry. He threw the sword away and finally knelt down next to them as well so his face was on the same eye level as theirs “Stop. Please. Stop thinking about us for one second. Stop trying to not make us uncomfortable or worried! Tell us what happened! Please.”

He was basically begging at the last part. All his worry packed into it.

“Yeah, honestly you trying to make sure everything is okay for us makes us even more worried.” It surprised the others a bit that this came from Tommy but he was correct.

Tears fell down their face again “I- I was just delivering more wheat to Niki and someone must have followed me. They followed me back to my farm and- and- they burned my fields down. There were explosions. I- it was just my farm. I did not harm. Just, why does it always have to end like this. Why do all the good things always end like this. Why can’t this place let something be. There is always something.”

The farm was so important to Y/N. It was their little project they put so much sweat, love and work into. It was their home away from home. A place to retreat and enjoy some peace. This obviously was devastating. It was their one thing they had for themself. The one thing that wasn’t there for anyone else but them.

It was also clear that this seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and it broke the three a bit that they only now seemed to notice this. That it took that long and their whole farm being destroyed for the realize this was heartbreaking.

“Who?” Techno urged but Y/N shook their head.

“I don’t know. Everything went so fast and I tried to save as much as I could but- but it’s all gone. It’s all gone.” Their voice jumped up an octave at the end, burying their face against Wilbur’s shoulder again. Silently sobbing.

It should have been impossible but Wilbur’s frown deepened and his expression turned more grim “Don’t worry. We will get back at them. We will get our revenge. They will see firsthand what they did to you, I promise.”

Shocked Y/N looked up, their red and puffy eyes wide open “Wil, that’s not what I- no revenge. There is already too much misery going around I just want this to stop. I just want all of us being able to live in peace.”

Wilbur should have known that Y/N was too good natured for that but he couldn’t help himself. He was just so angry. Angry at Schlatt and Manberg. That they went for him was one thing but to go out of their way to treat Y/N like this? Let’s just say he put it on the list in bold letters with reasonings on why he will get back at the Manberg faction.

“Listen Y/N.” Techno begun, his voice now calm again “Stop it. Just for once think about yourself. Stop thinking about others for once. You are also worthy of the same care you give us. Let us at least help rebuild your farm. You always help us with our projects, let us help you with yours.”

Tommy seemed to lit up at that “That sounds like a good idea! We could build towers around your new farm and make sure no one gets in! We could put down traps and all!”

He really wasn’t sure how to react but that was at least something he could do for them. As the past General’s right hand man, this should be something he can do. If he couldn’t protect his sibling how could he ever hope to get L’Manberg back.

Wilbur seemed to think about it for a bit but agreed “Yeah, how does that sound?” Though the dark glint in his eyes stayed. The cogs in head still running off with his own thoughts.

“You guys would? Since when can you guys build?” a dry laugh escaped them but it was a laugh nonetheless.

Both Tommy and Wilbur looked almost appalled at that claim while Techno just shrugged and nodded. Just looking around Pogtopia was more functioning than good looking after all. Y/N tried to pretty it up a bit but usually something always happened around here.

“Also Y/N, please talk to us more. Don’t bottle everything up. Please. We worry a lot about you and we love you. You always do so much for us, let us do the same.” Wilbur pushed Y/N a bit off of him and looked them deep into their eyes, hoping that this would really hammer in that this was a genuine plea.

As a respone Y/N wiped the tears off their face “I understand. I’ll try to remember that.”

“Don’t try just do it.”

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Crimson Ties (Bela Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 4

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: None for this chap Genre: Hurt + comfort Summary: Sure, your soulmate may be a vampire (of sorts), but there's nothing that love can't conquer, right?... Maybe it's time you learn a little more about the odd circumstances of your soulmate's existence- and the fear that lies beneath the surface. Notes: If the last chapter was "hurt" followed by comfort, this is "comfort" followed by hurt, also known as the part where the story's central conflict comes into play. Features an appearance from Daniela, who reminds us that Cassandra's not the only one with a sharp tongue around here. Previous Chapters: 1: Stem the Flow, 2: Tangled Strands, 3: Rumbling Thunder

4: That Which Burns

“Of all the stars, the fairest,” Bela murmurs in your ear, keeping her arms wrapped loosely around your waist, before giving you a gentle kiss on the cheek. If you hadn’t already been blushing, you certainly would have now done so. You’re leaning into her touch, face flushed as can be, loving every moment of this. For a while now you’ve been curled up with her, while she reads excerpts from her favorite works. Although both of you would have preferred to do this outside, enjoying the view of the stars, you figured it would be best not to push your health too much. After all, you had lost a huge percentage of your blood. Well, temporarily, but it was still better to be safe than sorry.

“That’s probably my favorite line from Sappho,” you chimed, fondly remembering some of your schooling. “Though the one about being remembered always stands out to me. I’m not sure I remember it correctly, and I’m sure it’s been translated a few different ways over the years… but I think it’s ‘someone, I tell you, will remember us in another time’. Might have gotten that backwards, actually.” Giving an awkward little smile, you sheepishly rub the back of your head with one hand. “Either way it feels so romantic. To think of a love so strong that it echoes throughout time, fondly remembered for generations… it warms the heart.”

“Mhmm, most definitely, my dear. Many aren’t as lucky, however,” Bela laments, an odd expression crawling onto her face. There’s the slightest waver to her lower lip as she speaks. Concerned, you turn in place to get a better look, gently reaching out to caress her cheek. Is there something I’m missing? You think, wondering what you should say. “I’m alright, I promise. Merely distracted by a fleeting thought. Let’s read another, yes?” Before you can protest, she’s already turned to another page, starting to read as if she already knew which one was next (which would not, at all, surprise you).

Love shook my heart, Like the wind on the mountain, Troubling the oak-trees

“Oh, if only I could speak Aeolic Greek, so that I could serenade you with tender prose, all the days of your life… just as it was originally written. Wouldn’t that be lovely?” Bela offers, once again smiling wide, as if nothing in the world was wrong, at least not when you were by her side. Though you are not keen to ignore her earlier stroke of misery, you are equally reluctant to put a damper on her current upswing. Now what were you to do? Little comes to mind, other than the simplicity of human warmth, and so you lean once more into her embrace, head held aloft on the strength of her shoulder.

“Here, as I am now, is more than lovely enough. Your voice is soothing in any language, sweet as sugar, relaxing as can be,” you reassure her in your softest tone. Heart fluttering, she finds herself easing back into the comfort of the moment, forgetting all about her earlier woes. “Shall we read another?” Nodding, Bela again turns the page and begins to read:

He’s equal with the gods, that man Who sits across from you, Face to face, close enough to sip Your voice’s sweetness

And what excites my mind, Your laughter, glittering. So, When I see you, for a moment, My voice goes,

My tongue freezes. Fire, Delicate fire, in the flesh. Blind, stunned, the sound Of thunder, in my ears.

Shivering with sweat, cold Tremors over the skin, I turn the colour of dead grass, And I’m an inch from dying.

“Does that make me equal to the gods, then?” You ask, as soon as the last line is given its moment to shine. A small hum comes from your soulmate, who seems equal parts intrigued and confused. “I look in your eyes and my lungs light on fire, my heart ricochets around my chest, and I hear the chorus of angels singing your holy praises. The fact that I can manage to speak at all is confounding. Maybe the muses have seen fit to lend me their artistry, so that I might make conversation worthy of your existence, my dear.” With that said, you find yourself being squeezed gently, Bela placing another kiss against the top of your head. Now, it seems she is the one without the ability to speak. “The divine witnessing the divine, yes?... Let me read the next one, and we’ll see if my voice could ever compare to your own.”

It’s innocent enough, your choice. A turn of the page, just another poem, selected for nothing more than respect for chronology. Yet something drains from the space around you as you begin to read, so subtly slow that you hardly notice.

Girls, you be ardent for the fragrant-blossomed Muses’ lovely gifts, for the clear melodious lyre: But now old age has seized my tender body, Now my hair is white, and no longer dark

How were you to realize that the great shadow of fear loomed over your soulmate, when she had refused to name it mere minutes ago? How were you to know to halt your reciting, when the aching of her heart rendered her throat dry, and she could not bring herself to call out to you? Words poured like poisoned wine from your lips… your soulmate having no choice but to drink up every last drop.

My heart’s heavy, my legs won’t support me, That once were fleet as fawns, in the dance I grieve often for my state; what can I do? Being human, there’s no way not to grow old

A shaky breath from age-old lungs, exhaled into tense air, forced out past a trembling jaw. Say something, Bela tells herself, any poem but this. For a split second you pause, and she wonders if her thoughts have found new light in your own mind. But you break the momentary silence without much care, simply having been unsure of your pending pronunciation of an old name, perfectly unaware of your partner’s panic.

Rosy-armed Dawn, they say, love-smitten Once carried Tithonus off to the world’s end: Handsome and young he was then, yet at last Grey age caught that spouse of an immortal wife

At last her ordeal was over. The final words hang heavy in the air, weighing down her shoulders, but they are done. Her fears had been dragged out from the pit in her stomach, now waving about like dirty laundry. There was only one way for her to avoid this happening another time: Tell you the truth. By now her silence had earned your attention, with you turning in her lap again, concerned gaze meeting her hollow one. Gently, she gives you a reassuring squeeze.

“I… am not one to balk at the nature of things, however painful the truth. Yet I hesitate now, with the very person I am bound to with crimson ties… How cowardly of me,” Bela all but snarls, anger clearly not directed at you. It’s clear in the way that she holds herself that she has more to say. There’s not much you can do other than wait, though you do tuck an arm around her waist, beginning to rub soft circles against her back. “Allow me to drop the pretenses. You are not immortal, but I am. We’ve only been together for a day and a half, and already I’m worrying about your lifespan. It’s safe to say that this particular poem was an unfriendly reminder of our situation.”

Oh. How exactly were you supposed to respond to that?... Your girlfriend- your soulmate- was immortal. Hmph, as if her essentially being a vampire hadn’t already been enough to freak you out. Now this? Well, maybe it wasn’t too much farther of a stretch from the last revelation, even if you were still recovering from that one. Even then, something told you that this was equally hard for Bela- both to say, and to simply feel. As if she needed more stress surrounding her partnership with you…

“Of all the ways for us to mimic legends… I don’t even know what to say, my dear. I… I suppose that I can only reassure you that we will make the most of every moment we have. However much time we are destined to get, we’ll make sure it is filled with bliss,” you reply, slowly, making it up as you go. An ache builds in the center of your chest as you talk, an internal yearning for greater confidence. Although words were your “weapon” of choice, you were not always a master in your use of them, too human to be infallible. “Maybe we should set aside the poetry for now, shift our focus to something, ah, less meaningful?”

“That would be for the best,” Bela agrees, already shifting like she was going to stand up, before you even had a chance to get off of her lap. Something strange had fallen over her expression, an invisible veil, putting an uncomfortable distance between the two of you. Inside your chest, a thundering heart threatens to go still. Had you done something wrong? Did you commit some unspoken sin? Together the two of you rise, in sync yet more separate than before, a thousand questions and anxieties rendering both of you silent...

—————————

Across the room from you, a pair of bright eyes watch your every movement, peering out from over an open book. If you didn’t know better, you might have thought that the “ruse” was intentionally poor. But for all the five hours you had known her, Daniela Dimitrescu had done nothing other than prove herself odd, clumsy, and quite possibly… overconfident. Admittedly, that still made her undeniably more pleasant than Cassandra. If you had to be stuck alongside someone other than your soulmate, well, ‘twas best that it was this strange redheaded gremlin. Even if she had expressed an unfortunate interest in eating you.

Gods, what is wrong with this family? You think, frowning a tad, unable to stop yourself from making eye contact with Daniela. Instantly she’s looking away, pretending to be engrossed within her book. The very same book that had remained open to the same page for half an hour now. I do hope Bela is having more fun right now, with whatever “business” called her away so unexpectedly. She hadn’t seemed happy to have to leave your side, earlier tension notwithstanding. Coming here to the library had been her suggestion, though you doubted she knew that Daniela was there, or at least hadn’t anticipated her sister’s unnerving behavior. Already the redhead was looking back at you, even less subtly than before.

Sighing, you decided that you could only put up with so much of this tomfoolery.

“Are you in need of something? Or is there something on my face?” You ask, setting your own book aside as you do. There’s a few moments of silence, as Daniela glances around the room, as if you might actually be speaking to someone else. When no scapegoats teleport to her rescue, she very awkwardly clears her throat, then moves to sit at your table. Though you are loath to admit it, your heart starts beating faster as she approaches. Not out of attraction, hell no, rather fear. Perhaps getting her attention hadn’t been the wisest choice after all…

“I just think it’s funny,” Daniela chimes, trailing off just long enough to run a finger down the length of your arm, “that Bela abandoned you so quickly. You’re so… fragile. Cassandra told me about the fun little introduction you had to our family- the blood loss, being chained up, the fear you felt when you got caught in our territory.” Suddenly she’s devolving into a fit of giggles, hand resting not-so-gently on your wrist. When you try to pull away, her nails dig in, and her gaze snaps back to your own. “But you don’t remember that part, do you? If you did… oh, we’d have to lock you up, like the little pet you are, to keep you from running away. I’m sure Bela wouldn’t mind seeing you in chains.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You snap, uncharacteristically furious. While it was true that you couldn’t recall exactly how you made it into the castle’s dungeons, you refuse to accept Daniela’s implications about your soulmate, or her assessment of your dedication. A brief second passes where you think she’s about to lunge towards you. Instead, she withdraws her hand, moving it to prop up her chin instead. Then, her lips slowly drag upwards into a wicked grin, wide eyes filled with dangerous amusement.

“So you’re more than a wannabe Shakespeare, after all? A bit more teeth, a touch more vulgarity, maybe a twinge of bloodlust, and you might actually fit in around here. Not enough to get our family’s ‘gift’- our secret to a long, happy life- but enough that Bela won’t grow bored of your sappy poems,” she teases with another string of laughter. Before you can question her about this ‘gift’, she’s all but jumping to her feet, stretching out her arms as she does. “I can’t wait to update Cassandra about you. We’ll be betting on how entertaining you’ll end up being. Try to keep from bailing on my dear sister too soon, alright?”

Just like that she’s disappearing into a swarm of flies, leaving you more confused (and angry) than ever. Taking a deep breath, you try to focus on what you need to do next: Find Bela. Talk to her. Get some goddamn answers.

[nezhapreferences]

In a Star Crossed yet Forbidden Love With Them

Oki allow me to explain.

This will be a sort of universe alteration or what I have seen online, a UA for Nezha himself. It's already suspected that Ao Bing probably wouldn't be allowed to have a human lover, but for the sake of this scenario it will be official.

For Nezha, I don't think anything had been said in the movie, but the same will apply to him in this scenario.

So of course, reader will be human for both bois

For the star crossed one, it's already obvious, but it's basically soulmates.

Or at least it is in my eyes-

If that is clear enough, I shall proceed :p

-=-=-=-

Nezha

He knew a part of his soul had finally returned to him the moment he laid eyes on you. It was by chance, but he took it with all six hands. Nezha felt such nostalgia when you stared at him in remembrance, from a past life when you were once together.

The both of you held each other in a tight embrace, as if you would fuse back together if you squeezed tight enough. "I remember you." Was the most used sentence at that moment, as well as a tired mumble from Nezha himself.

"You just had to be reborn a human, huh?"

---

It didn't take long for you to learn about each others current lives, but the anxiety of what the Heavens would do to Nezha if they found out about your relationship clouded your mind.

Nezha noticed this as you two sat in the courtyard of the Li Residence. He carefully held your hand, grabbing your attention.

"Hey, don't worry about me, (Y/n). I'm the strongest immortal there is!" You watched in amusement as he stood up and placed his fists on his hips. "I'll even fight Yuanshi Tianzun himself if it means we'll stay together!" You couldn't help but stifle a laugh, standing up as well.

"I'll admit, that would be a sight for sore eyes, but let's not give me a heart attack, okay?" You smiled against his cheek. Nezha chuckled, moving your chin so that you were kissing his lightly chapped lips as he rested a hand on your hip.

You pulled away a few seconds later, resting your chin on his shoulder. "I don't want to lose you in this life either." You mumbled into his neck, but Nezha heard it perfectly. A frown replaced his earlier smile, and he placed a hand on your back.

"You won't lose me, I promise you that."

"Hopefully in our next life, we won't be as misfortunate." You dramatically sighed when you moved back from the hug. Nezha rolled his eyes, "But for now, we'll make it work." You added, pulling the amused immortal in for another kiss.

"Nezha, what are you doing with a human?!"

Ao Bing

If you were honest, you kinda scared the crap out of each other.

You were trying to catch fish for dinner, but you ended up catching Ao Bing.

It's an understatement to say that you were surprised.

He was tangled in the web, staring at you with those alarmed baby blue eyes of his, before they crinkled with recognition. Your heart lurched in realization as you quickly helped him out of the net.

You smiled up at him, practically beaming when he smiled back.

"Hey there, other half!" You rocked back and forth on your heels, marveling at his long horns. Ao Bing chuckled, "Hello, my dear." He held out his hand, which you gladly held, and you two strolled along the beach.

It was silent between you two, but you didn't need words to show how much you missed each other. The occasional rubbing of his thumb across the back of your hand and you lightly swinging your intertwined hands was enough.

After collecting sea shells and watching the tide pools together, you decided to simply sit in the sand. Of course, Ao Bing took off his robe and had you wear it before you sat down. You were amazed by how soft and warm it was, it was also incredibly roomy and kept the sand from touching you.

Ao Bing sat beside you and you watched as the clouds passed beneath the full moon. It was nice, definitely more peaceful than the nights in the village.

"How will this work?" You spoke up, causing Ao Bing to look your way. "I know about the dragons and their strict no cross-mating rule. If they found out about us, they'd force you to marry another dragon. I don't even want to think about what would happen to me." You muttered the last bit, nuzzling deeper into the robe.

Ao Bing stared at the sand, before he released a sigh. "I don't know what will happen, but I won't let anyone lay an ill hand on you. Not after we finally found each other again." He clenched his fist at the mere thought, looking back at you with creased brows.

"Can I... Can I hug you?" He hesitantly asked.

You looked over, slowly nodding. In no time, he had you in a comforting side hug, full of warmth and safety. This was right, you had declared in your mind, this was supposed to happen. You leaned against him, and you both relaxed to the sound of the waves.

"What's this? Third Son Ao Bing with a human? Wait until Ao Guang hears about this.."

-=-=-=-

There we go!

I might also do a Nezha Reborn scenario today before I burn out ✌

[tobiosmilktea]

the love club — miya atsumu

twenty six: the spectacular now

masterlist | prev. | next

a/n: thank you all so much for sticking around and watching tlc grow! this smau turned out to be more popular than i thought and i’m so glad for all the support! there were times where i was stuck on the plot and genuinely thought of putting this smau on hiatus,, but i’m glad i pushed through and didn’t. reading each and every one of your comments and reblogs made making this smau really fun. tysm 🥰

also the ‘read more’ link is making this post super glitchy and repeating paragraphs for no reason 😔😔

(continuation of the convos last chap cause i couldn’t fit it in lmao)

atsumu’s chest heavy feeling upon arriving at the last and final train station in tokyo filled him with unnecessary unease. an abundance of worry had crashed upon him in a blasting flurry that even the early onset heat of japan in the spring was the last thing on his mind to complain about.

there were many things that could go wrong with such a flawed plan birthed from suna’s spontaneity. for one, you could very well reject atsumu the moment he finally came into your reach (this was the worse case scenario for him) and it could honestly evolve into something worse knowing his parents would beat his ass if they were to find out he took this trip with nothing but his phone, wallet, his brother, and a friend.

yet at this point, he had nothing to lose.

he was already in tokyo and wasted half his day coming all this way, there was definitely no point in going back and have all his efforts go to waste. if anything, you were atsumu’s pushing force, the strong current that pulled him along with the tides just to see you. he only needed one reason and that one reason was you.

a weary sigh emitted from his lips as osamu’s patted his brother’s shoulder with his free hand whilst the other was carrying a picnic basket. call it twin telepathy or just being plain observant, but the cacophony of atsumu’s erratic thoughts were evident upon his expression for osamu to notice. hell, even a random stranger with half a brain cell would know that the setter was going through some internalized anxiety.

this was osamu’s only way of comforting him as the only thing that would completely wash away atsumu’s fear was for you to take him back.

the feeling of dread didn’t cease for atsumu as it continued in a raging downpour on the way to the convention center in shibuya. the event had already started hours ago and the boys had no idea where to find you—not even kita who was great at taking the lead—he was captain after all.

by the time the four volleyball players entered the largely crowded convention center, they had no other choice but to breathe out their hopes in finding you in the midst of chaos.

by the time the four volleyball players entered the largely crowded convention center, they had no other choice but to breathe out their hopes in finding you in the midst of chaos.

“alright, the plan is...” kita huffs as his eyes scanned the bustling crowds that messily serpentined through booths. his gaze met back to the boys who surrounded him with intent written to their faces. a bittersweet smile melted upon his lips as it reminded him of giving pep talks right before games... no doubt he was going to miss it.

“i suggest we split up and find her,” osamu adds in first.

kita shakes his head, “this place is gigantic, it’ll take ages for us to even call and find each other if we do.”

“or i could steal a mic from somewhere and pretend y/n’s a lost child or something...”

“we’re not doing that, suna.”

“damn,” he sighs as he looked down in faux defeat.

a shaky sigh left atsumu’s lips again, “let’s just stick together and try and find her.”

with that the four of them delved into the crowd.

the convention center was certainly bigger than atsumu thought, and he certainly didn't remember the walk from the entrance of the event up towards the dense middle area where he was right now. perhaps it was the simmering and leftover fervor upon entering that his mind was too clouded to even know where he was going. at this point, he wasn't even trying to find you anymore, instead, he wandered the labyrinthine array of booths in self-indulgence until each turn appeared the same and he was back to the same spot he started.

where were you?

atsumu was at the cusp of giving up. even osamu who was supporting him the entire time was starting to complain. with the aching in his arm from carrying a heavy picnic basket of all the foods he made for you and his brother was weighing him back. even suna who was carrying the picnic blanket was sweating just by holding it.

“guys,” the setter sighs in defeat. “i think we should call it a day and—”

suddenly a hand wrapped around his bicep, pulling him aback and capturing his attention. atsumu whips his head around only to look down upon a familiar face. a face that filled him with constant warmth and caused his heart to immediately quicken by the millisecond.

it was sudden. too sudden for you to even comprehend that the moment you spotted atsumu’s familiar figure looming over in the crowd, it was game over for you. your legs started walking by themselves as if they were being controlled by your heart rather than your head.

it wasn’t like you to do this, anyway—this confrontation. if anything, you were the type to pretend you didn’t see atsumu’s face, to turn back around into the crowd and act as if nothing had happened. but there was this aching in your chest, an abundance of tightness until it squeezed every last bi of unspoken truths out of your lungs.

was it guilt, sadnass, or anger? love?

you weren’t entirely sure, yet its dissonance couldn’t be ignored. even if you did try and avoid atsumu, you’d end up right in front of him either way.

“what are you doing here?” you asked, the tone in your voice and even to your expression was unreadable to atsumu.

he had no idea if you were excited to see him or if you were completely shocked and wanted him to leave immediately.

atsumu hoped it was the former.

“i–um...” he tried forming the words upon his tongue, but his thoughts were moving too fast for him to even comprehend what he was going to say to you.

hell, he even rehearsed what to say for this exact moment the entire train ride here to tokyo, yet he was completely slipping up.

his usual confidence and somewhat cocky attitude was nowhere to be seen. and it’s even crazy to think that you’re the only one who can make him act this way.

your grip on his upper arm tightened by the slightest bit when atsumu didn’t answer, “i’m about to present, tsumu, i don’t have enough time...”

tsumu?

you still call him that? even after all that happened?

if only he could just melt into your arms right then and there. he was so close to finally alleviating that yearn, but your comforting warmth left his body the moment you let him go.

“i’m here to apologize.” he swiftly answers as you were about to turn your heel, “...even though i’m three weeks late.”

your eyebrows furrow slightly as you teetered your weight back in forth, your nerves building up. atsumu hadn’t seen you do that since your project presentation together. “i should be apologizing too,” you sighed with instantaneous releif coursing through atsumu’s body, “but now’s honestly not a good time.”

“i know, but matsui told me that you might be moving away this summer and i wanted to see you.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, cursing to yourself as you felt the sudden influx of crimson blush swearing from your cheeks to the edges of your ears. “so you came all this way?” your voice was a bit shakey.

could he tell you were nervous?

“only because i like you... still”

yup... he could definitely tell.

maybe that slight pinch awkwardness between the two of you was more beneficial that you thought. from the sheepish smiles and stolen glances, it eased you to your surprise. “i can’t believe i have feelings for an idiot.”

atsumu hums in amusement, eyes lighting up when he saw that familiar smirk on your face. “are they good feelings?”

“of course they are,” you scoffed, “why? would you rather have me back to hating you?”

the boy before you shakes his head. “no, i like it this way,” he mutters before pulling you into his chest without a second thought.

it was overwhelming. from how his much broader and taller body embraced you in such familiar warmth to even his scent of honey and mocha. despite being miles away from hyogo, it was atsumu who reminded you of home.

this was nice considering you weren’t exactly planning on forgiving him so easily. perhaps it was the way the moment you spotted his familiar blond undercut in the crowd he towered over caused a switch in your brain to flip. perhaps you miss the way he was right beside you almost everyday.

perhaps you couldn’t keep your distance from him anymore.

pulling yourself out of the hug, your eyes flicker over to a trio of volleyball players standing a good six feet away away from you two. their shoulders basically touched as they all gave you a smile and a wave.

eventually, your eyes dropped to picnic basket in osamu’s hands and the blanket draped over suna’s shoulders.

a slight chuckle emits from you lips, “what’s up with them?” you asked atsumu.

his head turns over his shoulder before looking back down at you. his arms still lingered around your waist as he hesitated to even let you go again. “remember back when we had our date during nationals, we visited the park?”

“so it was a date?” you almost explained.

“it thought it was,” atsumu shrugs, “we saw a couple on a picnic date and you thought it was cute so i figured we could go on one.”

“and you remembered that?” you questioned as you arched a brow towards him.

“every single detail.”

atsumu didn’t have to ask you to go on this date with him. at least at this point, he’d know you would’ve said yes. like what kind of person would reject a date from the love of their life who traveled five hours just for them?

only a idiot would and you were certainly not an idiot... not right now at least.

a saccharine-sweet smile appeared upon your lips as you looked back towards atsumu, “i’m free after six o’clock. you think you guys could stick around for a few more hours?”

“if that’s a chance to meet chef suzuno and eat dessert, then yes.” cut in osamu the moment you asked.

you and atsumu weren’t exactly in the most private of places, so but it wasn’t like you two cared at this point.

suna clears his throat, “um, my parents don’t even know im in tokyo right now, so if i get murdered tonight that’s on you guys.”

“either way, i gotta get home. i have to pack before the weekend ends.” kita adds as he pats suna’s shoulders, “which means you’re coming back to hyogo with me. (y/n) and the twins can take care of themselves.”

“but—!” suna tried to retaliate but was pushed back into the crowd and disappeared to go home.

you sighed in amusement before turning your attention back to atsumu.

“i have to go, now.”

atsumu nods, “samu and i will walk around then before watching your presentation.” he explains but as he was turning over his shoulder, you captured his arm again.

you planted a kiss on his lips. it was much softer than it looked and for a second the commotion around you two seemed to slow.

it felt like it took ages for atsumu to feel your lips against his, but the wait was worth it. his entire plan that ended up failing was worth it. the five hours of his ass hurting from sitting on the train seats was worth it. finding you within this impossible crowd was worth it. you were worth it—more than anything.

osamu fake gagged as he looked at you and atsumu in disgust, “can you two not make out in front of the cupcake display?”

fun facts! —

after the event ended, atsumu and y/n went on that picnic date just in time for sunset while osamu waited awkwardly by the swings

in the end, y/n moved to tokyo after being well liked by chef suzuno

the twins helped y/n pack and osamu even had to pull atsumu off of her cause he wouldn’t let her go 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

because of the long distance, atsumu and y/n go on minecraft dates cause theyre quirky

[dazaimency]

Shigaraki x F!Reader - Silk (NSFW)

Prompt: “Hi! Can I please have some soft(but not a lot) Shiggyxf!reader? I keep thinking of this idea where they can never really get intimate because he’s scared of turning them into dust and always end up upset because he feels like he can’t give them all a relationship ‘supposedly’ should. So like, maybe the reader just proposes tying his wrists so he can’t use his hands or something? All consensual and nice and yay. Maybe? Pretty, please?Thanks!”

Tags: Bondage (Shiggy receiving), riding, sex guru Dabi strikes again

Word length: 1 624

Ao3: HERE - crossposted, you can find other works there

You paid no attention to the movie, instead choosing to focus on your boyfriend sitting next to you. Tomura had put away all his hands but his face was still covered by his pale blue hair. Suppressing the urge to tuck the stray hair behind his ear, you opt to rest your head on his shoulder, shifting closer to him.

Shigaraki tensed for a moment, before his guard went down with a soft exhale. Looking down at you, snuggled to his side, a small smile appeared on his scarred lips. Reaching behind you to put an arm around your shoulders, his breath and movement stop. The tension had settled back, down to his bones, and his face had stained with a grimace. 

He was so close to feeling your skin, brushing circles on it. There were little things that he wanted more (besides his personal goals as the villain leader) and being denied it because of his own power left a bitter taste in his mouth. Clicking tongue, he settles his arm on the sofa backrest and turns his gaze to the screen, completely ignoring it.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened, no. You both have already lost count how many times his fingers were close enough to almost caress your skin, and how many times Tomura’s hands reached back, wrapped in a fist, nails digging into his skin. You longed for the touch and even tried semi-cropped gloves at the beginning of your relationship, but it was making his skin uncomfortable, while also putting him on edge. He didn’t like anything restricting the usage of his quirk, even if at the moment, decay was the last thing on his mind.

You noticed the tension radiating from him and suggested a solution of your own: “How about I tie you up?”

Tomura’s breath hitched, yet he managed to stutter out a response, mind blank. “What?” 

After a while, you found yourselves in the bedroom, Shigaraki sitting on the bed, biting his lips, rubbing the silk between his fingers. He agreed during your short discussion, pros outweighing cons. Expecting that being tied up would feel different than wearing gloves, he went to Dabi for anything they could use, resulting in the silken rope in his hands. 

You hadn’t been planning this for long, the thought came to you when you talked to Dabi and your conversation once again stirred into lewd topics. Letting it sit in your head, you wondered if you were one to tie someone else down, but the simple image of touching Tomura without worry on his side convinced you. You were doing this more for him than for you. Trusting him completely, it was him, who truly feared hurting you. Then, getting the rope itself was not a problem, as you were on good grounds with Dabi, and he was not one to shy away from sex talk and toys.

Sitting on Tomura’s lap, moving his hands away, you kiss him, freeing him from his doubts. Instead of touching you, his palms grab the sheets, gripping them like he wanted to grip your hips to rub your body against his.

His mouth opens, letting your tongue in. One of your hands wander in his hair, the other holding his shoulder, feeling his muscles move under his touch. Moaning out when you feel his hips buck against you, you break the kiss. 

“Ready?” You ask, making sure. Shigaraki nods in affirmation and lays down, head between pillows, and arms joined at the headboard. He was anticipating your touch, beaming on the inside that you won’t crumble under his touch, instead, feeling only pleasure which he could not give you before fully due to the fog of worries that had permanently settled in his brain.

You lean over him, legs at his sides, and wrap the silk around his wrists, attaching it to the headboard. Tomura gives it a tug, trying out how firm they are, and indeed, his movement is limited, but the knot was just loose enough so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable. His breathing quickens, and you rub his cheek in affection, soothing his nerves.

“We can stop anytime,” you whisper against his lips, giving them a soft peck, before moving lower to cover his neck is soft kisses.

Shigaraki nods, anxiety already lowering because he cannot hurt you like this. He still felt slight remorse that he was unable to touch you, but he would prefer your safety anytime. Licking his chapped lips, he looks at you, spread out over his body.

A small moan escapes him when your teeth leave a mark on his collarbone. Your hands push his shirt higher, revealing his chest. You caress the pale skin, rubbing soft circles to make Shigaraki more comfortable. 

Your hips brush over his clothed member, and you connect your lips in a deep kiss, swallowing his soft moans. His tongue dances with yours while he pushes his crotch up, sending a small shock of pleasure up your spine. Tomura keeps bucking and you feel your panties getting wetter by his every move. 

Wanting to get closer to him, you sit up and take off your shirt and bra at the same time. Tomura licks his lips and tugs at the rope, hands gripping it tightly, but still careful not to decay the silk. In need of feeling your skin on his, he nudges you with his knee and pushes his hips up to bring you closer.

Smiling, you lean over him, noses almost touching. Your breath tickles on his lips and he shifts up to drag you into a kiss. With a smirk, you evade, and go tease his neck instead. Leaving licks and bites in your trail, you end up at his collarbone, marking it with a bruise. You detach with a pop, lips puffed from sucking and kissing. 

“Fuck, (Y/N),” Tomura whines, needing to be inside you soon. The jeans he was wearing did not help, his cock pushing on the fabric with every move. 

Your clit pulsates, your panties almost soaked by now. You hurry up to get rid of the rest of your clothes, and do the same for your boyfriend. His length on display, you sit on his lap, gripping it and guiding it to your soaked entrance. 

Teasing him, you put the tip inside, circling and sliding along it, watching Tomura bury his head into the pillows with a groan. Just this small sensation fogged his sight and mind. His hands pulling at the silk, he wanted nothing more than to decay the rope, grab you, and roam your skin freely as he pounds into you. 

“More, baby,” he manages to breathe out, red eyes glued to yours. His hips would be pushing up if it weren’t for your tight hold on them, keeping them down. 

Having enough of teasing and feeling empty, you slide down his cock. Moaning out as he slightly brushes against your sensitive spot, you start to move. He pushes inside you in a perfect rhythm, forcing a groan out of you with each stroke. 

“That’s it, Player Two… that’s it…” Tomura moans out, watching you impale yourself on his length, breasts bouncing. 

You hum and increase the speed, adjusting the angle slightly so he hits deeper now. You yelp when he strokes your spot perfectly and move to feel the spark of sensation again. Your thighs start to feel the strain and begin to ache. 

Shifting to be chest on chest with Shigaraki, you grab him by his nape, fingers digging into the soft hair and bring your lips to his. He instantly gives you sloppy, open mouthed kisses, moaning and breathing into your mouth, mirroring your own state. 

This new angle enables him to push further into you, his heels dug into the sheets, knees bent, and hips hovering over the bed, he rams into you with an almost animalistic need. You can’t do anything but take it, each thrust making you groan, and you whimper his name into his lips. 

“T-Touch yourself for me, won’t you?” Tomura mumbles, voice deeper, stained with pleasure. Your hand moves down on command, circling your clit swiftly, pressuring it to send you over the edge. 

Shigaraki takes in the sight of you, red faced with darkened eyes. His view ends soon when you place your head in the crook of his shoulder, biting down at the skin. The pain urges him to slam harder, teeth clenched in pleasure. His thighs start to strain, only making him to keep the momentum, thrusting into your pussy, revelling in the way you clenched around him. The heat embracing him with every push only dazzled him and he came with a loud groan, spilling into you. 

His orgasm ended with a long, deep thrust, sending you over the edge. You collapse on top him, eyes rolled back, breathing heavily. Tomura is in the same state, mind clouded and sweat making him feel sticky.

You lie there for a while, catching air, and you caress his arms. Remembering that he is tied up, you hurry up to get rid of the silk. 

“Was it okay?” you ask, biting your lip as you lie down next to one another, your head resting on his shoulder. He rubs his wrists, stained with small red bruises that would disappear within a day. 

“Yeah… I didn’t mind it at all,” Shigaraki smiles at you and you sigh in relief. A spark resides in his eyes, one that you don’t get to see often. He kept on grinning, happy that he could now make love to you without worrying. The cost of restrained arms was but a little bump. One that he could live with easily. 

[svtkillua]

milk and tea > 5

rating: [pg-13 / angst] genre: soulmate au pairing: todoroki shouto x reader warnings: cursing, heartbreak, angst! word count: 6k

listen while you read here! join the discord!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - chap 5 - 6 [final]

“This is too much for one person to handle.” Your voice sounded heavy, eyes glued out the window as a few buildings zoomed past your line of sight, the seatbelt across your chest digging uncomfortably into the crook of your neck. Your hand felt like it was burning, the line of gold seeming different now, making your heart thud and anxiety sour through your veins, your blood boiling with anger and confusion. None of it made sense and the longer you digested the information the more it seemed to make your nausea grow, stomach churning when your eyes stayed glued to your palm as you spoke softly into the confining space of Awase’s car. “I feel like I’m going to explode.” 

“I know.” Awase’s voice was deep, the kind of sound you could fall asleep too easily at night, laced with the same worry and confusion that was brewing violently in your heart. His hands were clutching the steering wheel when you glanced at him, the white hue from his knuckles giving away his emotions more than the absent look on his face was, his lips parted slightly as he sighed. “You’re positive mine’s the same as hers? As theirs?” 

Your head bobbed before you muttered a quiet yes, remembering the way his face had twisted when you explained everything to him, there in that café patio an hour ago, coffees long forgotten between you. You hadn’t stopped to think if you should figure things out first, didn’t question the words as they tumbled past your lips, speaking truths that were hard for either of you to understand just yet. Awase had been rightfully baffled, shocked and unsure of your confidence in their matches all marking, after all it had never been heard of. 

Part of you suspected he didn’t want to get his hopes up, that he didn’t even want to allow a daydream where maybe he did have a soulmate. If he was anything like you, he knew how disappointing things were when you came down from the high inside your head, when reality smacked you back into place with a reminder of how alone you were. 

“I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have told you.” Your voice lifted slightly at the end, like you were unsure yourself if your actions had been right, Awase’s eyes landing on you for a second at a stop sign, his lips pulling into a faint smile as he loosened his grip on the wheel enough to return his knuckles to their usual hue. 

“I’m glad you told me, it’s just a lot to take in.” He swallowed harshly, tongue poking out to wet his flushed lips as his head shook slightly from side to side. You shifted in your seat, eyes flickering once to his palm as his hand left the steering wheel to instead scratch at the back of his neck, something you figured was an anxious habit. “I thought I didn’t have a soulmate and now I apparently match two other people’s marks. I’m just confused as to what’s happening, and thrown off, I guess. I’ve never heard of this happening.”

“Neither have I.” Your gaze shifted back out the window as his GPS quietly rattled off which street he needed to go down, the ticking of his blinker sounding loud as you both fell into silence. You weren’t sure what to say to calm the screaming voices in your head, weren’t sure how to make yourself less confused when you had no idea where to start looking for answers. Awase hadn’t been sure either, which had led the both of you into his car, where you typed in Todoroki and Momo’s address into his phone. 

You kept picturing the look on Todoroki’s face when he’d interrupted the two of you barely an hour and a half ago, kept swallowing harshly when you remembered the way his voice shook with strain. He didn’t look angry at you for ignoring him, but hurt, like you’d ripped away the last piece of himself he felt like he had ahold of, like you’d left him all alone in the ocean with no life raft to help him stay afloat. You’d been trying to save yourself from the pain in your chest, but in the process had left Todoroki stranded all alone, where nothing could help him from crumbling apart. 

You knew the pressure he was under, knew from that night you had together that he’d never been quite this vulnerable before. He was lost and you were supposed to be his constant, his guide through things even when seeing each other was becoming painful. He’d wanted you to be there, wanted you to know he loved you even if he couldn’t do it publically, and you’d left him. In a way you were selfish, because your form of comfort was ignoring him, when his only form of comfort had been you. 

He didn’t have anyone to turn to with his problems, didn’t have a Midoriya to listen when he cried about the girl he loved, who most definitely wasn’t his soulmate. He didn’t have a family that would support him and love him regardless of his choices, didn’t have a group to back him up when he needed it. All he had had was you, and you’d all but abandoned him for a week, only for him to finally see you again when you were with another guy. 

You partially knew what it could have looked like to him, like you’d been avoiding him because you were trying to move on with someone else, like you’d given up on the love you felt because it could never blossom. You wondered if he thought that of you, if he imagined you seeking out other men as much as you pictured him falling into Momo’s arms when you felt at your lowest. 

“We’re here.” 

Your head lifted from it’s direction towards your lap, eyes dancing once from Awase to the building waiting just through his window, the huge cherry blossom tree outside too brightly colored for the way your mind was swimming. Every emotion imaginable felt like it was bubbling just beneath the surface, your hands shaking as Awase unlocked the doors and climbed out without an ounce of hesitation. You were envious of how outwardly calm he looked, even if he was probably as anxious as you were. 

The short walk across the street and up the front stairs felt like a thousand miles for the way your knees were trying to buckle, your fingers scrunching into your palms as Awase knocked on the painted red, wooden surface. His hands shoved into his jeans then, you noted, his blue flannel shirt blowing out behind his back as a breeze carried the smell of his cologne past your nose, his eyes flickering once over to yours as a quiet ‘just a moment’ came from inside. 

Your heart leapt to your throat when the door opened, Momo standing there with her hair pulled into a low ponytail, an apron half tied around her hips and a dot of flour dusted onto her cheek. Her eyes didn’t even glance to you when Awase sucked in a sharp breath of air, like for a moment she didn’t realize he wasn’t alone, her hands wiping delicately onto the front of her apron as a breeze blew a strand of her hair across the front of her neck. Awase fidgeted on the spot, clearing his throat and turning his head slightly to look at you, like he was asking you what to say. 

As if you had any clue yourself. 

“Momo.” Her head turned towards you quickly but her eyes dragged behind, lingering on Awase’s face until he glanced down at his shoes, hands shuffling, still in the confines of his pockets. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip when your gaze locked with hers, hating the way insecurities started to fester in the back of your mind, wash of guilt nearly knocking you over when you remembered the way Todoroki’s lips had felt on your lips. That guilt only grew when you felt the ring he’d left with you twisting on your twiddling finger, throat clearing once even though your volume didn’t grow. “Can we come inside, please?” 

It took her a moment to nod, her eyes blinking a few times as she pulled the door further open and stepped back enough to let you both past. You vaguely heard her introduce herself to Awase as you slipped your shoes off, catching the way he smiled when she stumbled over a stray pair of slippers left by the door. His name rolled off his tongue easily as she shook her head at her own clumsiness, a blush on her cheeks just barely visible from the dim light in the hall. 

The place looked the same as when you’d been in it, but also somehow different, now holding furniture and pictures and life. It was a home instead of a house now, the place Todoroki and Momo’s love was supposed to grow into its destiny, even if to yourself it felt like a prison, a manifestation of the things you lacked. The walls were painted a pale grey, the furniture the same navy blue as the lines on their palms, a set of stairs directly down the hall lined with photos from trips they’d taken, scattered with nicnacs and memories you didn’t care to know the stories of. 

You loathed how it made you want to vomit, the jealousy creeping through your bones, rattling any of the confidence you had left. 

“Where’s Todoroki?”

“He’s upstairs, we were about to make dinner.” Momo stepped past you after a moment, leading the pair of you towards the open concept kitchen, her voice unwavering but her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides as she stepped towards a ball of dough she’d left on the counter. “Why?” 

“We need to talk to the both of you.” Awase’s voice rang beside your ear as his palm landed on your lower back, as if he could tell how anxious being there was making you, let alone how confused and frustrated you still felt. Everything felt too big, too surreal to actually be happening, Awase’s free hand still shoved in his pocket like a bomb he was scared to set off. 

“About what?” Momo’s nose scrunched slightly as she glanced at the pair of you from where she was lazily forming small dumplings on the counter, tossing them one by one into a pot of boiling water. She licked her lips once as she let her eyes flicker towards your neck, reminding you of the necklace hanging there, the one Todoroki had given you, the one that made her suspicious enough to confront you before. 

You pretended not to notice the way it made her nostrils flare as she sucked in a delicate breathe. 

“It’s complicated.” You sighed, switching your weight from foot to foot, hand raising to rub at your shoulder aimlessly when you heard the stairs start to creek faintly. It immediately made your heart thud in your chest, body turning on instinct enough to see Todoroki as he came into view, his white socks clashing with the dark floor as he focused on the phone clasped between his fingers. 

His hair was wet, a towel draped around his neck as his lips parted, a breathe falling from them, not loud enough for you to hear but it felt like it had knocked the wind out of you. His skin looked incredible, your pulse quickening the closer he got, nerves firing all at once when his head finally lifted and he spotted the three of you. His gaze moved from Momo to Awase before it landed on you, his tired eyes blinking a few times as he abandoned his phone on the breakfast bar. 

“Todoroki.” You exhaled his name like his hands were squeezing your lungs, draining every drop of oxygen from your system. You swallowed, feeling a wash of calm for the moment his eyes lingered on your own, hating the feeling that grew in your chest when his eyes fell to Awase, who was still stood beside you with his hand on your lower back. For a moment his eyes flashed with an emotion you didn’t know, his bottom lip tucking beneath his front teeth. 

“What are you two doing here?” His voice was vaguely hoarse, the way it sounded when he’d been crying or yelling, and it made your bones ache. It made you want to run over an wrap your arms around him, the pull in your heart like a magnet more powerful than the moon to the shores. 

“They need to talk to us.” Momo cleared her throat after she spoke, trying to cover up the small waver in her voice. She tossed the last of the dumplings into the large pot of water before she turned around, hands wiping once again on her apron as her back leaned into the countertop. 

“About what?” Todoroki’s eyebrows rose as he pulled the towel from around his neck, figure turning away from you in a way that felt like a subtle pinch to your heart, a bit of guilt for ignoring him spreading up your spine. Maybe it had hurt him like you suspected, maybe it had felt like you were shoving him away when he so desperately had wanted to hold onto you. 

“About your soulmarks.” You pressed your lips into a thin line, Awase sucking in a sharp breathe beside you as his head bobbed in a nod, neither of you exactly sure how to bring the subject up subtly. His hand fell away from its place on your back, your teeth grinding together as you watched Momo’s brows furrowed together slightly in confusion, Todoroki’s back still towards you. 

It was silent enough for a pin drop to be heard, neither Momo or Todoroki saying anything, as if they were waiting for yourself or Awase to further explain, though neither of you knew how. You looked over at Awase as he shifted his weight, his eyes catching onto yours as you nodded once towards his hand, resting your own flat against the marble island in front of you. There was a rustle from his hand being pulled out if his jean pocket, before he was holding it up like he was waving without any movement, the bold blue lines vibrant with the overhead light beaming down on him. 

Momo audibly gasped, her hands raising subconsciously to cover her mouth as she stared, feet quickly padding across the wood floors so she could get a better look. The sound caught Todoroki’s attention as he finally turned, his thin white t-shirt collecting small dark circles from the drips of water coming from his hair, eyes flickering from your face to Awase’s hand twice before staying settled there on his palm. You swallowed hard, ignoring the boulder in your esophagus as your eyes danced between the three of them, wondering what they were all thinking, what they were all feeling. 

You’d never seen anyone with your mark before, let alone been in the same room as two people who matched you. 

“What’s going on?” Momo sounded out of breath as she hesitantly reached her hand forward to grab ahold of Awase’s as it lowered, his eyes glued to her face as she squinted down at his palm. You watched as she slid a finger over the main line of his mark, noting how she skipped over the small cut he still had healing across the center of the flesh. 

“We don’t know.” Awase’s voice was hushed, like if he spoke too loud he’d scare her away, his lips pursing, puckered momentarily outward as he took a peek at you in his peripheral vision. You didn’t notice Todoroki had moved until you felt the warmth of his body closer to your own, his footsteps quiet until he came to rest between you and Momo’s sides. “After you two left the café she saw my hand, and said she’d seen it before.” 

“I knew it was yours.” Your eyes shifted up to Todoroki, his own gaze focused on Awase’s palm as Momo held it, her own dark lines brushing against his fingertip before she placed her hands on the counter. You swallowed when Todoroki’s focus shifted over to you, eyes unreadable as his tongue poked out to wet his lips, and you swore for a second he was trying to tell you something with the look on his face, but you didn’t know what, voice shrinking with his proximity. “Both of yours, I mean.” 

You’d missed his warmth, missed the heat that radiated from him so naturally when you were next to him, your arm feeling like it was being baked by the sun when his body weight shifted so he was closer to you. His fingers subtly nudged your own where your hands both hung by your thighs, the island blocking them from view, your body temperature spiking when you looked away from his face to instead focus back on Awase and Momo. You tried to keep your reaction neutral as Todoroki’s pinky finger slowly hooked with yours, fingers one by one all clasping into your own until your palms were flush together, heart thumping steadily like he was an anchor keeping you from drifting too far from his shore. 

It was amazing how a simple touch from him was enough to have you near bursting at the seems, things seeming to blur in your mind for a moment as all you could focus on was how good it felt to be touching him. When your grip on him tightened he squeezed right back, your cheek burning where he was staring at you until Awase spoke up. 

“I don’t understand how this can be happening.” He scratched at the back of his neck for a moment, bodyweight leaning into the counter before him as his teeth dug into his plump bottom lip. “It’s impossible for three people to be soulmates, right?” 

“Right.” Todoroki’s head bobbed once slightly, his voice soft as he brushed his thumb along your own, chest rising and falling steadily as he glanced between Awase and Momo. Momo was staring at Awase for a beat, her eyebrows bunched together as she absentmindedly picked at the nail polish half chipped off her fingers. “None of this makes any sense.” 

There was a lull in the conversation as the three of them all glanced between each other like one of them would suddenly have an answer, your face turning back up to look at Todoroki while he thought, admiring the way his skin looked when the light caught onto it. He looked incredibly tired, stressed, like the shower he’d taken had done little to relax the voices screaming in his eardrums, like he was desperate to shut the world away for a while and just breathe on his own. You moved closer to him without thinking, feeling Momo glancing at you but swallowing down the small amount of guilt it caused, resting your freehand on the countertop. 

“Let me see your hands.” 

For a moment, you’d thought Momo was talking to you and Todoroki, your eyes flickering down to your connected palms before Awase held out his own. Todorokis grip on you vanished as he lifted his hand up, both of the boys palms facing the ceiling as Momo placed her own between them, your chest aching in a way that made it hard to ignore. Your eyes burned but you blinked away the stinging in them, leaning forward slightly as Momo had to look over the blue lines that stained their skin. 

“I read about something, a couple months ago.” Momo sounded half focused on what she was saying, her finger skimming along Awase’s hand before it moved to brush along Todoroki’s, a small pang of jealousy itching at the back of your throat. You ignored it best you could when she looked quickly over at you with a bob of her head. “It was right after Todoroki’s birthday, when he decided to stay at your place rather than go to dinner with me and his parents.” 

She paused for a moment as you folded your arms across your stomach, her voice not full of malice or anger but rather a hint of sadness, of a pain you didn’t think you could really grasp. Because while you were longing after Todoroki for months, she had been watching him crave someone else for the entirety of time she knew him. Even if he’d never said it to her, and even if he tried his hardest to never let it show, she knew that while he cared about her, it wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. 

Maybe Todoroki loved her, yes, but not in the way she wanted. 

Not in the way soulmates were supposed to love each other. 

“I was up one night, reading these articles online, in this poor state of mind, and I came across this article. These parents illegally had their child’s mark covered at some underground tattoo place, having it match another family’s child so they’d think they were soulmates. It was almost like some awful form of an arranged marriage. The kids only figured it out when they were older and one of them found a baby picture from before they covered his mark.” She trailed off, her eyes flickering between Todoroki’s palm and Awase’s, your mind reeling as the pieces in your mind seemed to slowly be clicking into place. 

“I didn’t think it could have happened, because neither of us had ever met someone else with our marks before.” Momo looked over at Todoroki as his focus turned towards her, her eyes a bit red as she blinked a few times and smiled faintly at him. She looked as tired as Todoroki did, like she’d been fighting a losing battle for a long time and was finally ready to give up. “I knew neither of us felt right, that neither of us thought things were how they were supposed to be. You’d felt something for someone else, and I…” 

Her voice trailed off as she took a glance at Awase, who was staring at her with such a strong gaze it made her cheeks flush with pink. 

“I saw you once,” She said to him, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as his head bobbed in a nod, like he remembered it too. Your eyebrows bunched together as another punch of confusion ghosted over your features. Todoroki’s hand left the counter to once again clasp down into your own, grip tighter than before. “at a train station. It was crowded and we bumped into each other, you had on gloves and I didn’t see your hands but I felt…something when I saw your face.”

“I felt it too.” Awase interjected, his eyes flickering down to the counter as his fingers bent to form a loose fist, his lids dropping shut as he sighed heavily. “I tried to look for you but when I did you were with a guy and too far gone. I figured it was just my imagination and I let it go.” 

“It’s why I asked our parents for baby pictures a few months ago, I was thinking maybe I could find some proof that we weren’t supposed to be together.” Momo said, forcing herself to look away from him and instead focusing back on Todoroki, who you were sure also noticed the way both Awase and Momo’s cheeks were flushed with pink hues of warmth. “I didn’t find anything in mine, though.” 

The silence that fell was heavy as Todoroki and Momo shared a look that felt too intimate for yourself and Awase to be watching, like you were witnessing a couple splitting apart, and perhaps you were. Maybe the both of them had felt it for a long time, that something was wrong with their supposedly destined relationship. Neither of them had brought it up, but both could tell that the other wasn’t happy, that they were forcing things when they shouldn’t have to. Momo shouldn’t have had to fight to have time with Todoroki when he was supposed to always want to be with her. Todoroki shouldn’t have felt so alone when Momo was right there, shouldn’t have never felt understood when she’d brush off his complaints like mere feathers on her shoulders. 

Neither of them was right for the other, but they both cared enough to keep quiet, because they thought it was what they were supposed to do. 

“Did you check mine too?” Todoroki spoke up, his head shaking slightly as a drip of water from his hair skimmed his cheekbone when it fell. 

“Every single one.” Momo sighed as she pushed her hand through her hair, slipping her elastic onto her wrist as the strands hung loosely behind her neck, framing her cheeks like she was a beautiful painting. “I found nothing. I’m not really sure where to look for answers. It could have been either of our families, hell it might not have even been them. This could all be something else.” 

“It’s not something else.” Todoroki’s voice grew harder, eyes floating shut as his jaw clenched down tight, all the air leaving his lungs as he shook his head. His grip on you grew more firm as his nostrils flared, your free hand raising to gingerly brush his shoulder when his eyes snapped back open. “It was my parents. I know it was, I’m positive.” 

“Todoroki.” Your tone was timid compared to his own, body moving closer to his when his face turned towards you, his eyes burning red and full of irritation, tears starting to build in his waterline. You’d never seen him look more furious, more heartbroken, his hand leaving yours as he scrubbed at his eyes and immediately turned to go outside, the door slamming behind him and a silence enveloping the three of you still standing around the marble island. 

You swallowed, staring at the door where his figure had just been, body aching to be following his, that pull in your chest stronger than ever knowing how upset he was. You couldn’t blame him for feeling so angry, for being so broken that he just wanted to fall apart where no one could see him. You knew pain, you knew the hurt that spread through your bones when you realized you didn’t have a soulmate. You were familiar with the hollow that made a home in you with the thoughts and voices constantly in your head, the never-ending reminders of your loneliness and heartache. 

But you didn’t know how Todoroki felt. 

His own parents had betrayed him, had set him up for a life where he’d never really get to be happy, not how he was supposed to. They lied to their son for their entire lives thus far, all so he’d marry someone he was never really supposed to love in the first place, and in the fallout from their actions they had crushed him. They had made Todoroki so full of guilt and longing that the weight of the world was piled up onto his shoulders. They made him loathe himself for not loving Momo the way he was supposed to, made him long after someone that maybe he could have had all along had they not sabotaged him out of selfishness. 

Your body carried you out the door before you over thought things, not bothering to put your shoes back on as your feet made contact with the cold concrete of the front steps. You paused there while the door shut, watching Todoroki’s back as it rose and fell slowly from where he was sat on the curb, a car passing by making some of the fallen flower petals bustle past his figure. His shirt looked brighter from the way the streetlamps were hitting him, the sky turned a dark blue as night began to take over. 

He was mute when you sank down into the spot beside him, your thighs pressed against each others as you rested your hands on your knees, staring up at the sky as he sniffled beside you. He didn’t move for a minute or so until he shifted enough to lift his head, eyes falling onto you when you turned enough to stare back at him. You were itching to touch him when you noticed the wet trail down his cheek, heart feeling like it was being hammered into bits and pieces as he leaned in and rested his forehead against your shoulder, his lips parted as he sucked in a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry, Todoroki.” Your voice was a whisper as he slid his arms slowly around your middle, pulling your body closer to his own as his head fell to instead press into the crook of your neck, his nose nudging the side of your throat while his fingers dug into your back. Your cheek pressed into the top of his head as your fluttered your lids closed, letting him melt his body weight into you, savoring the warmth of his chest as the wind blew. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I just can’t believe they’d do this to me. I know that we don’t always agree on things, but how could they just let me be so fucking miserable and pretend that it was all in my head.” His voice shook as it muffled against your collarbone, the reverberations making subtle goosebumps raise on the back of your neck. “What kind of person does that to someone they’re supposed to love?” 

“Maybe it wasn’t them, Todoroki. We don’t know if that’s what really ha-” 

“It was them.” He cut you off with a slight shake from his head, his shoulders raising as he pulled back enough to stare at you. His hair was a mess, now half air dried and sticking at odd angles, lips puffy from how much he kept licking and biting at them, eyes still stained with redness. “I know it was them. They always wanted a certain life for me, and they decided that was most important. They decided money and power and image were more important than their son’s fucking happiness.” 

Your hand reached back behind you so you could grab onto his own, pulling it forward and clasping your palm so it was flush against his, hiding his blue lines from his view. He pressed his lips into a line as you lifted your other hand to brush the hairs away from his eyes. He leaned into your touch, eyes falling shut as his cheek pressed against the warmth of your fingers, like he was making sure you weren’t a daydream. It was hard for you to believe yourself that he was real, with the streetlamp casting a halo silhouette around his mess of white and red hair, eyes shining even in the dark, swimming with all the emotions that had started to pour from his soul. 

“You should talk to them, confront them about it.” 

“I will, but not tonight. I can’t tonight.” Todoroki blinked twice before letting his hand slip away from your own, reaching up to scrub at his exhausted eyes as you let your palm slip to rest against his chest, feeling his heartbeat as it hammered away. He leaned forward enough to press his lips to your forehead, muttering against the skin as your touch drifted from his cheek to instead plant on the crook of his neck. “I just need some time to process everything.” 

You nodded as he languidly untangled himself from you completely, hands grabbing onto your own as he helped you stand, immediately slipping his arms back around your middle to hug you to his chest as he took a deep breathe, the smell of his cologne like you were being welcomed home after too much time away. Your arms looped easily around his hips, pressing your bodies so they were cemented together as he pressed a chaste kiss to your shoulder, savoring in the feeling of having you so close for a moment. 

He felt like he was broken. 

But you were broken too. 

“It’s almost ironic. This is like some awful version of what I always wanted.” 

You leaned back to look at him when he spoke, his tongue poking out to wet his lips as his fingers started to toy with the ends of your hair, careful not to tug too hard. Your eyebrows rose slightly, as if you were asking him to go on, lips parted as you took a gentle breathe when the wind blew chills onto your bare legs. 

“I used to always hope that somehow I wouldn’t be her soulmate, that I’d have at least a shot at being with you, properly.” He mumbled, your heart thudding at the quiet confession as his lips spread into a half smile, one laced with heartache and framed with disappointment for the way the world had granted his wish. “I always pictured myself just waking up with your mark, not something like this. I guess I just never imagined it would be because of my parents being more selfish than loving.” 

“It might not have been them, Todoroki.” 

He shook his head at your optimism, his lips pressing once more into your forehead as he let his touch leave your body, except for his hand that tangled back into yours. He picked up your free one, kissing the middle of your palm and moving you slightly so your soulmark was in the light, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, like he was trying to force a lump down his esophagus, one that was making it hard for him to breathe. He was silent for a moment as he held you there and stared, taking in the gold as your fingers flexed slightly in an attempt to free your hand, not liking to look at it for so long. Even with things unraveling around you, you didn’t like to look your mark, like it was a reminder of all the torment soulmates had caused you, all the longing that left scars on your heart. 

“I wonder if mine looks like this, underneath the tattoo.” He muttered, mostly to himself, his eyes dancing over to you once before he was focusing back on your palm, finger tracing a line right down the strip of pigment on your skin. The image made your lungs shrink as you tried not to get your hopes up too high, the grip you had on his hand tightening when your eyes burned at the thoughts that started to rush to your head, dark ones that were used to broken hopes. 

“What if it doesn’t?” 

His eyes turned back towards you, lips parting, like he was surprised by your question. You couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop yourself from wondering what would happen now. Sure, in your heart you wanted it to be Todoroki, you wanted the person you matched to be him more than anything you’d ever longed for in your entire life. You wanted that tattoo on his palm to get removed and you wanted to find a strip of gold waiting there for you all along. But you had gotten used to the disappointment, familiar with the let downs when your dreams came crashing back to earth, leaving you broken and unable to really fit the pieces back together. 

“It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t.” 

He sounded firm, confident as he let your palm go and opted to cup your cheek instead, a car driving by that casted bright lights on him for a moment. He took a deep breath, leaning forward and letting his eyes drop shut as his lips ghosted over your own before he kissed you fully. It wasn’t full of dramatic passion, wasn’t laced with the longing you’d both felt for so long, wasn’t desperate and needy like you were scared you’d never get to taste him again. It was gentle, soft, quiet like the world around you had melted away and all that was left was the simultaneous beatings of your hearts when he pulled back so your noses were brushing, voice barely audible as he whispered. 

“I’m yours, no matter what.”

-

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[professorsnape394]

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Eighteen: Faith 

A/N: This is the Eighteenth part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-18 can also be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below or send me a message if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 4199

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

The rapping of knuckles against the old oak door echoed throughout the potions master's office. Breaking through the thick silence that had engulfed the room, a wave of anxiety washed over Severus Snape.

"Can I not go one day without you bothering me, Miss Dumbledore." Snape complained, trying to hide slight crack of nervousness in his voice.

"Sadly, Severus, it is not your beloved Miss Dumbledore." A thick Bulgarian accent announced.

Admittedly disappointed by the unveiling of his visitor, Severus lowered himself back down into his chair, not willing to make an effort for anyone but his apprentice.

"Why are you here, Igor. You should have learned your lesson by now to leave me alone." He said, rubbing his eyes back into focus and running a hand through his hair lazily.

"I have something you'll want to hear." Karkaroff divulged mysteriously, plopping himself down on the chair across from the professor.

"I do not imagine anything you have to say is of any interest to me."

"Then lucky for you Snape, I won't be the one talking."

Unbothered by the man's deliberate awkwardness, Severus allowed him to ramble on, too exhausted to argue with him.

With a flick of his wand and a small puff off smoke, the space between the two men began to whirl and spin, slowly forming a picture-like image in the air, the scene beginning to unfold. Revealing a staff room full of unusually dressed professors, the focus turned to a small cluster of teachers gathered in the centre of the room. Recognising both Igor Karkaroff and Aria Dumbledore sitting side by side on the old couch, Snape grew suspicious of the man's intentions.

"Why are you showing me this?" Severus asked, unsure of whether he wanted to see what was about to happen.

"Just listen." The Durmstrang headmaster hissed.

~

"How do I feel about Snape?" Aria wondered, the scene enclosing in on her.

"He's... curious. He has the capacity for love and friendship just like the rest of us, yet he chooses to be mean-spirited."

~

"I don't want to hear this." Snape declared, turning his eyes away from the woman.

"You must." Igor demanded.

~

"...he can be mean and arrogant and cruel. And despite it all I try my best to show him kindness, but where does that get me? He calls me out in front of practically the whole school? That was so fucking humiliating, and I'm just supposed to forgive him? I think it's safe to say I'd live a happy life if I were to never see that man again."

~

Severus felt his heart drop in his chest, unable to process what he had just heard. Slowly a sharp ringing in his ears grew louder and louder, deafening him to the scene before him, as well as the reality in which he existed. He refused to believe the woman he cared so much about, the woman who had demanded to be his friend, had lied about everything. Did she truly hate him beneath her annoyingly cheerful demeanour, was it all a façade?

He wanted to insist Karkaroff had fabricated the whole thing, but he knew exactly what spell he had cast, there was no way he could have faked it.

A deep rage grew within the man, an anger he had not felt in a number of decades. Severus Snape prided himself on having a monotone disposition, void of all emotion. But that familiar feeling of being betrayed by someone he trusted brought forward a plethora of pent up emotions, namely anger and frustration.

A wide, devilish grin spread across Karkaroff's face, satisfied by his colleague's reaction.

"You see now what she is truly like, Severus. You see now that she was playing you all along. That girl pretends to be your friend to keep her job, not because she likes you." Igor laughed maliciously. "You and I both know what is coming, and when it does, Dumbledore is prepared to replace you. Even he knows where your true loyalties lie. Do not be fooled into thinking the Dumbledore's are your friends. They use you for their own advantage, but the second you are no longer useful, or you become a threat to them, you'll be taken down by any means necessary."

"You're lying." Snape tried to convince himself, refusing to meet the professors gaze. "You're scared of what he will do to you if he returns. You need an alliance with someone on the inside."

"He has returned, you must feel it just as I do." The ex-deatheater practically screamed.

"I will not be manipulated by you Igor. This changes nothing, the girl was nothing but a distraction."

"We both know that isn't true." He sniggered, attempting once last time to convince Snape. "Do you know what she said to me, the last time I was in this office? She told me she could never be with a man like you, she told me your actions were unforgivable. I can prove that as well if you don't believe me."

"Get out, Igor. Just leave." Severus exhaled, starting to pace slowly behind his desk. He knew Karkaroff was trying to manipulate him, he was not stupid enough to fall for that. But proof does not lie, and the facts remain. Everything he was saying true, there was no denying it.

With a short bow, Igor danced out of the room. Completely satisfied with the havoc he'd reeked. He'd successfully toyed with what little emotions the great dungeon bat had left. And who's to say what can happen when Severus Snape's feelings get hurt?

*

Hoot. Hoot.

The bird bleated as it swooped through the open window.

"Another letter for the pile?" Aria sighed to herself. "Will he ever stop?"

Whoo.

It purred in response.

The witch couldn't help but laugh at the coincidence.

"You know exactly who." She giggled, plucking the envelope from the creatures beak, and throwing it on the ever growing pile.

"I just wish he would give me some time to think, you know?" She asked turning back to the barn owl, only to witness it taking off, disappearing into the distance.

Look at me. I'm talking to a bird. She thought with a roll of her eyes. I need to get some sleep.

Catching a glimpse of herself reflection of the window, Aria decided she needed to freshen herself up with a little pamper time, finishing the day off with a very long and well deserved nap.

Dumping almost a whole bottle of bubble bath into the tub, topping with springs of lavender and dried chamomile, Aria plunged herself deep into the warm water.

Relaxing for approximately 2.5 seconds, the woman flew out of the bath, her naked body sopping with bubbles, dripping puddles of water as she explored her quarters impatiently.

"Why can I never find any of my books when I need them most!" She groaned, shivering from the sudden change in temperature as goose bumps formed all over her arms and legs.

Letting out a single yelp of excitement, Aria grabbed the first book she laid eyes on and dived back into her tub.

"Pride and Prejudice, of course." She mumbled, thinking back to that night Severus visited her quarters.

As she read and her mind wandered, Aria found herself making unconscious comparisons between the infamous, brooding Mr. Darcy, and her stern, yet lovable Potions mentor, Severus Snape. They were both mildly rude and arrogant, determined to never show their true emotions, but deep down it was quite possible that they loved more fiercely than anyone ever could.

Elizabeth Bennet enchanted Darcy mind, body and soul. If only there were someone brave enough to do the same to Professor Snape. Aria thought, as she allowed herself to drift off to sleep in the water.

Hours later a thunderously loud 'Bang' frightened Aria awake.

Although not positively sure of how much later it was, she could be certain a decent sleep was had given the icy temperature of the water.

Aria allowed herself a moment to come to, bracing herself against the cold, her was body aching from the ceramic constraints of the tub.

A series of bangs came this time, chapping very loudly on her chamber door. Who ever it was was clearly extremely impatient, forcing her to hurry herself up.

Wrapping herself in nothing but a white cotton towel, the witch slid her way through her rooms to the door. Clearly she wasn't even awake enough to remember where she was, and that answering her door half naked wasn't exactly professional.

Bang. Bang. BANG.

The knocks reverberated through her body, sending shivers down her spine.

Gingerly she opened the door, revealing a more than pissed off Severus Snape.

"Severus." She yawned. "What's wrong?"

"Don't act dumb with me, girl. I am not falling for this act any longer." He snapped.

"What act, Severus? Why are you here?"

"Just tell me why?" He seethed. "Why did go to so much trouble trying to convince me to be your friend, only to confess to Karkaroff, as well as the rest of the Hogwarts staff, your true feelings. Why couldn't you just leave me alone."

"Severus listen, I think we need to talk about this in private. Please come in."

"So you can try and seduce me again? I don't think so. Jesus, look at the state of you, are you really that desperate to entice me? What's next, showing up to dinner completely naked? You really are just as I thought." The potions master growled, his pitch back eyes looking her up and down.

"Severus stop" Aria begged. "I thought we had moved past all this."

"So did I. But considering you have deemed me as "unforgivable" then there doesn't appear to be much point in trying to redeem myself, does there?"

"But you're only going to make everything worse. Let me explain myself, please."

"There is nothing to explain, I shall be putting in a formal request for the headmaster to employ a separate tutor for your apprenticeship in the morning, so you never have to see me again."

The professor stormed off, just as quickly as he had arrived, achieving exactly what he had come to do; humiliate Aria Dumbledore.

Desperate to apologise for her cruel words, Aria made to follow Severus to his classroom.

Forgetting her attire, or rather lack of, she was soon reminded of it when a crowd of Slytherin students erupted in a fit laughter with its fair share of cat-calls and whistles. Clearly they had emerged from their common room to investigate the noise, but stayed for the show of the two arguing potions professors.

"Nice legs, Miss." One of the older boys called, sending a wink in her direction.

Shit. She mumbled under her breath, rushing back to her quarters to change.

Hair still dripping wet, Aria shoved it into a bun on top of her head and pulled on some shorts and an oversized t-shirt, before hunting down the potions master.

"Severus, open the door." She called, upon initially finding it to be locked.

He didn't even bother to reply.

Fine. She thought. I'll do it myself.

"Alohomora." The lock burst apart, allowing the door to slowly creep open, revealing a dishevelled and distressed professor sitting at his desk.

"Severus, please." She whispered softly, realising he had clearly come down from his short outburst of rage.

"Get out." He commanded, though he didn't make any effort to remove his head from his hands.

"Let's talk about this." The woman pleaded, pulling a chair up next to the man. "Let me explain everything."

Snape stirred from his position the closer she came, until finally he was able to look her in the eye.

"Go on." He droned. His eyes red and blood shot, whether it was from lack of sleep or tears was unclear.

"You know more than anyone that Karkaroff cannot be trusted-"

"Don't try and lie to me, Miss Dumbledore. I saw the whole thing with my own eyes." Snape snapped.

"Will you let me finish. I'm not lying to you, Severus." Aria promised. "I said what I said because I didn't want them to know the truth, Karkaroff especially. I don't know what his problem is but I know he's up to something and it involves you. You really think I'd answer any question he asked me truthfully. You're my friend, Severus, I care about you, and that man is a snake for trying to turn us against each other."

"Why should I believe you. I've barely known you a few months, I've known Igor decades."

"That is precisely why you should believe me. He's not your friend, Severus. If he was he'd be able to see the real you; the man behind the mask." She urged, begging for his trust.

Reaching out her hand to take his, Aria stroked a thumb over the cold and calloused hand of her friend.

"And who might that be?" Severus questioned in return, feeling slightly nervous under her touch, but not enough to want to pull away.

"A man." She stated simply. "Not a beast, as you and many others may presume. A good, and decent man. Perhaps he's a even a little bit scared, of what I'm not entirely sure yet. But I will find out one day, if you'll allow me, that is. Let me be your friend, Severus. Let me see what you hide from everyone else. And I promise, I'll be there for you when it matters most."

Her sweet soft tones encapsulated Severus. He had become so lost in her words and her touch that without realising he found himself falling for her speech wholeheartedly. He even risked settling his remaining hand upon hers, clasping her delicate fist between his palms.

"Well then I suppose an apology is in order. I believe I may have acted rather rash and unprofessional."

"There's really no need. You reacted just as you should have to the things you heard. I would have done the same thing in your circumstance." Aria admitted, removing her hand from his, as she made to stand up. "Though there is one thing you could do to make it up to me." She suggested.

"Dare I even ask?" Severus joked.

"I want to know what Karkaroff's after. Tell me how you know him. Why does he care so much about your life?"

Snape practically laughed in response.

"We may be friends now, Miss Dumbledore, but I'm afraid that information is rather personal. And I am not convinced we are quite at that stage in our friendship, just yet."

"I respect that." She shrugged, knowing he wasn't about to give in that easily. "I suppose that just means we'll have to get to know each other a bit more." She smiled almost ear to ear at the prospect.

*

"What do you have planned for your lesson today, Professor Dumbledore?" Severus queried, finally using the woman's rightful professional title.

"Ooooh 'Professor' now, am I?" She smirked, sashaying in front of her co-worker, balancing a handful of potion ingredients in her arms.

"I suppose that is your given title after all, I might as well start using it."

"Hmmm I'm not sure. I think it make's me sound too much like my grandfather. I'm not sure I could pull of the beard quite as well, what do you think?" She giggled, holding her long hair in front of her chin, imitating the old wizard playfully before clumsily dropping another dozen bottles on the table.

Severus tried his hardest to conceal his smile, busying himself with paper work, but however hard he tried he could not hide it from Aria. Every so often she managed to catch him off guard, with a silly joke, or a quick witted comment, in those rare times he allowed himself a glimmer of emotion she always managed to notice. Most of the time Severus found himself smiling at the woman for no reason other than she was simply smiling too.

Finally turning her attention away from the potions master, Aria finished setting up her table full of small bottles and vials.

"We're going to play a game." She announced cheerfully spinning on her heel.

"A game?" Severus asked, unable to stop himself turning his nose up at her idea.

"Yes. It's like a test, but more fun." She persuaded, sensing his judgement.

"And what, might I ask, is wrong with a traditional test."  He queried bitterly.

"The students need motivation, Severus. The word 'test' makes people nervous. With nervousness comes panic, and with panic comes mistakes. Fear is not an accurate motivator, however competition is. The students will be less inclined to make mistakes, if they are rewarded for their efforts." The apprentice hypothesised.

"And this reward is?"

"I haven't decided yet."

Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes, but allowed her to do her thing uninterrupted.

Since their little 'heart to heart' that night in Snape's office the two professors were finding working with each other a lot more amiable. Severus had given Aria a little more free reign with her portion of the lessons, which in turn, allowed her to respect Severus' strict theoretical practices without causing too many interruptions. The pair had almost started to enjoy working together.

Student by student the class trickled in, each of them intrigued by the new set up of the class room.

"Everyone please take your seats, do not touch the table at the front of the room, class will begin momentarily." Miss Dumbledore announced.

A moment of panic set in as Aria scrambled around Snape's desk, looking for her list of possible potions. This may not have been her first time teaching solo, but it was, however, her opportunity to prove her practices are successful in front of her mentor, Severus Snape. The man in question could see the fear in her eyes, and that she was desperate to impress.

"Here." He mouthed, handing her the piece of parchment. "Relax."

Brushing fingers, as she took the parchment from him, Aria grinned.

"Thank you." She whispered, once again turning to face the class, now with a little more confidence.

"Now today, as you may have guessed, we are going to do something a little different. Professor Snape and I have chosen to take this opportunity to allow you, our promising young N.E.W.Ts students, to show off your skill set to the best of your ability's. On this table in front of me you will find a select variety of potions ingredients that correspond to a number of potions all very much within your capability, your task is to complete one of these potions within the allotted time, at the end of which, a winner will be selected by us."

"What do we win then, professor?" One eager student asked.

"A potion of their choice." She declared, impulsively.

A murmer of chatter instantly broke out among the class, intrigued at the prospect of winning such a thing.

"That all sounds very exciting, Miss Dumbledore." Snape cut in, unwilling to take a backseat quite so easily. "However, sadly as an apprentice professor you are not permitted to take anything from my stores to use so frivolously. The prize will have to be decided at a later time."

Unsurprisingly the students weren't too pleased with Snape's intervention causing for a series of disappointed groans and heckles.

"Then I shall make it myself." Aria concluded.

Another bout of cheers erupted.

"Collect your ingredients, light up your cauldrons, your time starts now!"

Immediately the students jumped from their seats, swarming the table to get what they needed. The professors moved away from the crowd, giving the class a moment to get started.

"Miss Dumbledore, this is not a wise decision." Severus spoke in hushed tones. "I understand entirely the prize of a potion chosen by you, but to give them a choice could be extremely dangerous, think of the chaos that will ensue."

"How about you have a little faith in them for once. Trust that they will make the right decision."

Looking down on the woman, Severus couldn't help but trust she would be right.

"I have faith in you. Not in them." He made clear.

Severus made to walk away, leaving Aria to relish in her small victory, until he was suddenly pulled back by the young woman's hand in his. Not saying a word, Aria Dumbledore gave him an appreciative squeeze, before releasing him back to his desk.

The first hour of the classes passed by effortlessly, the students worked quietly and Severus found no reason to complain. All in all, Aria was quite pleased with how her lesson was going.

That was until...

"Oh shiiiiit."

"Language Mr. Lawrence." Severus warned, briefly looking up from his marking.

"Right, sorry sir. But what the fuck am I supposed to do when this thing starts bubbling like crazy." He freaked out, completely ignoring the potions master's warning.

"What?" Aria gasped, only just becoming aware of the situation.

"Yeah like this thing looks likes 'bout to blow, to be honest with you." The seventh year Hufflepuff boy informed nonchalantly.

"Step away from that cauldron students, quickly!" Aria ordered, ushering them to the sides of the classroom.  "You were attempting a wit-sharpening potion, is that correct?"

"Yup."

"I'm afraid there's no saving it now, Mr. Lawrence, the best we can hope for is that it does not turn to acid and burn through bench."

"Out of my way." Severus huffed impatiently, forcing his way through the crowd of students that had formed around the cauldron.

"Pass me that root of ginger" Snape demanded, positioning himself in front of the ever growing cauldron of bubbling green liquid. Aria obeyed hastily, as the professor performed what she could only describe as a miracle on this horrifying concoction. "Some more newt spleens." He requested, holding out a hand expectantly, while the other gripped onto his wand, casting an enchantment over the potion.

The potions master continued adding a bit of this and a dash of that to the potion, all ingredients Aria Dumbledore would never have considered to associate with this particular brew. Jars of herbs, spices and animal parts were passed through the classroom in order to reach Professor Snape who continuously stirred the potion, muttering all sorts of charms and spells.

However skilled Aria had assumed she was at the art of potion making, it was made clear to her that she was no match for Severus' skills, brewing potions was second nature to him now. Within minutes he had achieved what Aria Dumbledore had deemed impossible, and thus the potion was brought back to it's natural state.

"Severus..." The apprentice gawped. "That was amazing."

"That was nothing." He replied curtly, removing himself from the scene. "Everybody back to work, this is not an excuse to slack off."

Still in awe at the pure artistry she had witnessed, Aria trotted sheepishly back to the front of the class.

Blissfully unaware of the pure talent they had just seen, the students continued on with their work. The Hufflepuff boy did not even have the decency to thank his professor for salvaging the mess he called a potion, let alone be grateful he never received a detention, or deduction of house points.

"What are you staring at, Miss Dumbledore, is there no better way you can spend your time?"

"I'm sorry Severus, but that display was just... brilliant." She beamed.

"Like I said, it was nothing. It comes with the job, I refuse to have any of those delinquents burn through my entire store cupboard because they cannot brew a simple potion, a year below their level no less."

"Well, at least we know who definitely won't be winning anyway." Aria giggled.

"The most we can hope for from that boy is that he manages to finish his potion, god knows he'll need it."

Playfully slapping Snape on the arm for his cheek, the witch perched herself on the edge of the professor's desk, attempting a quick sketch on a scrap piece of parchment, while the students begun to finish off their potions.

"Professor Snape, the winner?" Aria asked, turning to her colleague for a verdict once all of the potions had been completed.

"You want me to choose?" Severus replied, skeptical of her offer.

"Of course. I don't think it would be fair of me to do it, considering I've been giving all of them tips this lesson."

"Very well." He droned, stepping forth to analyse the contents of the cauldrons.

"This one." He announced, pointing a single finger to the cauldron of a young Slytherin witch. "Given that it was the only potion brewed to complete perfection, there is no other possible candidate. I suggest the rest of you get studying before your N.E.W.T's exams, at the rate you lot are going, none of you besides Miss Johnstone here is likely to pass." Snape scolded.

"Well then, congratulations Miss Johnstone, you are the winner of a potion of your choice. See me after lessons tomorrow and let me know your decision."

The girl practically beamed with pride, expecting nothing less than first place.

"Class dismissed."

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel @lizlil

[quirklessidiot]

Title: wine nights [coward series au]  Pairing: F!Reader x Miya Atsumu Genre: fluff, parents au, slice of life au  Synopsis: in which the older Miya twins and you have a heart to heart talk over wine.

Warnings: brief mentions of trauma

notes;

highly suggest to read the series for more understanding but either ways be my guest and just read it as a standalone if ya want to. also um the taglist has been closed ever since chap 7 was out so im really sorry :( 

happy 415 followers btw uwu. will be releasing my kita angst fic next week to celebrate a new milestone.

read the series here!  [ ss;; one, two, three, four ]

Osamu admits that you and him never saw eye to eye back in college (actually it was mostly him), it only took a worse turn when you left his twin. Now that he knows that the person you loved was actually his twin and that the father was the said person, he takes it back.

Yep, he takes it all back.

After profuse apologies and numerous deadpan responses from you saying that it was alright. You sort-of developed a weird friendship? He’d tell jokes and you’d just give him a blank expression and shake your head as if you were disappointed to be in the same room as him.

You always invited him and Daiki to your home every week on Sunday dinners though, he’s glad to be a part of it. He’s getting to know you a bit more and he’s slowly starting to understand why his brother loves you a lot.

The night is young and Atsumu is in the kids room, putting them to bed while you get ready for wine night. The younger Miya twin sits at the counter and nibbles on the cheese crackers as he watches you dry the dishes, “Has ‘tsumu ever told you how he first met you?” he suddenly asks out loud, curious if you knew how whipped his twin was for you and how much power you held over him.

You turn to the grey-haired twin with a plate on one hand and a dish towel on the other, “I don’t believe he or Shion-san has ever mentioned it.”

He chuckles, of course they wouldn’t. It was usually kept in the dark then and because of your strained relationships towards them when you were in college, they never actually got to tell you the story.

“He saw you one day, earlier in the school year…”

“He did mention that one time.” your forehead creases as you remember a fleeting conversation you had back then.

“Yeah, he kind of fell in love with you at first sight, Y/N.” his twin chuckled, “Sounds crazy right?”

Growing up, Osamu knows that his brother had attitude problems so imagine his shock and surprise when his twin called him up on a random night and started talking about this girl. This girl who barely paid him any attention at all.

Osamu recounts his thoughts then, how cruel fate would be for his twin to fall in love with a girl who paid him no mind when he had many others on his beck and call. He recalls how he’d call his brother a masochist, telling him to stop the fruitless chase towards you because you barely gave a time of day to Atsumu even if it was clear that he was completely and utterly enamored by you. 

Well, it ended happily for the both of you. Stable careers, dreams reached, happy family, and adorable kids. 

Son of a bitch, the old Osamu would be given a run for his money if he saw what had happened to you two now.

“That must’ve been a long time, then.”

“Oh, trust me.” Osamu breathed out, taking a sip of his wine, “It was only the first few months of the school year that time, Y/N. He says he saw you all the time but he could never pluck out the courage to actually go and talk to you.”

“Hm.” You mused, “I always thought that Atsumu had women hanging by his shoulder.”

Osamu chokes at the idea of Atsumu being a player, “Before he met you, it’s always been about volleyball. The idiot would go so far as insult the girls when they’d disrupt practice.”

“Huh,” you blink, “Was I his first girlfriend then?”

“Not exactly.” Osamu drawls, tapping his chin, “‘tsumu would say yes to girls but he never really knew what being a boyfriend was, he never hung out with the girls he said yes so it never really was a relationship. Hence why he’s got a reputation as a player.”

Osamu recounts even one time how annoyed his brother was when one of his ‘girlfriends’  came to their matches and screamed out his name when he did serves.

“She was fucking annoying,” Atsumu grumbles, walking in the middle of his brother’s tale and casting his twin a look, “Although I do wish that Y/N would come to my games. You never did come to any of them back when I was in college.”

“I was trying to graduate early.” you deadpan, placing the last dish on the dish rack to join them on the table.

“You’re forgiven, sweetheart.” He fakes a coo, making you roll your eyes as you pour yourself a glass.

“Atsumu tells me that he’s never smooth around you.”

“He isn’t.” you glazed, “Back in college when I gave him a tuna flavored onigiri as thanks after our meeting at the frat party, he had a nosebleed.”

Osamu chokes on his drink, “What the hell, ‘tsumu?” he barked, howling in laughter at his twin.

Atsumu would never deny the fact that what we had towards you was a school boy crush at first, he’d always be a nervous mess or his brain would cease to function whenever you came by then in college. He couldn’t put two and two together too, when you simply gave him one word replies, he’d be lost immediately. Not knowing what to say, all the charisma and overconfidence he had went down the drain by your curt replies.

What would anyone expect, really?

He’s never had crushes on anyone growing up.

The idea of putting time and effort towards something that wasn’t volleyball disgusted him yet here he was now, completely whipped for you and the brats while putting volleyball on second.

My, my how the tables have turned.

“You were really hard to talk to then, sweetheart.” He murmurs, “For the record, Y/N was the very first girl I asked out and you didn’t exactly make it easy after. I was thinking I was going to fail after those countless rejections.”

“You’re more pushy than Daiki, I’d have to admit. The guy stopped after his third rejection.”

Osamu raises a brow, he knows of your situation, Atsumu has mentioned it in passing but hasn’t gone into full detail about it but he’s curious, Daiki’s been around longer after all, “He’s known you longer than, ‘tsumu. Probably even deeper back then, how come you never ended up with him?”

Atsumu blinks and turns toward you, he’s curious too, Daiki has even openly admitted that he proposed to you seven years ago after knowing about the kids but you rejected him yet again (that was the last and final attempt)

You swirl the wine around, thinking of a proper response, “To be honest, I don’t know.” you answered, pondering as you turn towards Atsumu, “I just- it never felt right.”

Osamu whistles, “Dang, you just love my twin too much too. I take it back, yer both simps for each other, it's sickening.”

Atsumu lets out a childish tongue out in which he is replied by a middle finger from his other half.

You three continue to talk about random things and after deeming himself too sleepy and needing to open shop early tomorrow, Osamu says his goodbyes.

You sat in front of your vanity as you did your nightly routine, brushing and untangling the tangles of your hair after you showered and changed to a comfortable bedroom attire.

Atsumu exits the shower half naked as usual, his hair damp as he ruffles the towel on it, he slowly approaches your side and dips down to kiss your naked shoulder, “Hey Y/N.” his voice is muffled and vibrating through your skin.

You hummed a reply, still brushing your hair.

“Why didn’t you marry Daiki?”

You paused mid-action and raised a brow at his sudden question, turning to him as he suddenly stood up straighter with his hand now replacing his lips, “Are you jealous?”

“Of course not,” he grumbles, he’s been married to you for two years already and everyday’s like a honeymoon phase that doesn’t end, why would he be jealous of that scrub? as if, “I’m just curious. The idiot’s good looking, rich, good with kids, and a full package. A blind man could admit that.”

“You're a full package too.” 

Atsumu narrows his eyes and shakes his head in disappointment, as if he was saying, really?

You chuckle in a low voice, “Because he’s like my psychiatrist, Atsumu.” You simply said, shaking your head as you turn back to the mirror, “Unlike you, Daiki found out about it accidentally and we weren’t on good terms before that when we were kids. He became nicer so you could say that we became friends because he pitied me.”

Atsumu blinks for a moment, taken aback by your explanation. 

“Growing up, the anxiety would eat me up that Daiki’s friendship and feelings all stemmed because he pitied me. You could never build a decent relationship with that, it wouldn’t be healthy.” you continued then you turned to him, “Remember what I said to you then? How I felt when I was with you?”

Atsumu slowly nods.

“You didn’t pry and that was probably the best and worst thing you ever did throughout our relationship in college.” You smiled softly, “I was never ready to tell you then and you didn’t force me at all. You just kept staying and loving me without knowing anything to the point where I took advantage of it.”

“Y/N-” He dryly starts, knowing where this is going.

“I know I shouldn’t apologize but it was toxic, atsumu.” You softly said, laughing, “I’m really sorry.”

“Well you gave your forgiveness in the form of kids and being my wife until I die, I think it turned out pretty well in the end.”

You cast him a glare in which he immediately raises his two hands, “Hey, we both had our downplays in the relationship. We’re not perfect, sweetheart.” he reassures you as he walks up to you and grabs a hold of your hand with a wedding ring on it, “But we try to improve, learn,and be the best for each other and for those two brat- i mean kids. ”

He proceeds to entangle your fingers with his, “I don’t regret it, ya know.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“I don’t regret hanging onto that girl who barely gave me the time of her day then. I don’t regret seeing ya on that random spring day where you give yourself heart palpitations or better yet, I don’t regret everything. I don’t regret any of that. I’d do that shit again if I get to be here now.” He reassures you, he never gets tired to remind you of that as he squeezes your hands.

You cut the serious moment with a laugh, Atsumu is happy these days because of how easy it is for you to be like this around him, “You’re batshit crazy.”

“I was expecting a confession too.” He feigned hurt, “You wound me, sweetheart.”

“You kind of are though.” You stop laughing,wiping the little tears on the side of your eyes, “You’re probably the only person who’d come back after that wretched heartbreak.”

“And you’re the only person who I’d do that to.” Atsumu sticks his tongue out as he tugs you to your shared bed, “Jus’ so ya know, Y/N. You’re impossibly hard to forget. If we never did end up together or if you ended up with Daiki, I think I’d focus on volleyball for the rest of my life.”

“I doubt it.”

Yet Atsumu doesn’t reply and just kisses your lips goodnight as he drags you back to bed, what you didn’t know was that he was telling the truth.

It was just you, the kids, and volleyball (and his brother).

taglist [officially closed, if you guys want to be removed for the side stories, feel free to tell me hehe ilyasm and thank you once again, coward wouldn’t be possible without all you people + other readers]

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@misosamu  @Etherynaw  @ryaaaax @allysasteaparty   @mikaashi  @brownie0food @ph10xy  @Chocolaterumble [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

[moved-justabakusimp]

Shigaraki x F!Reader - Silk

(request for boku-no-iron (you_stole_my_crush) (ao3)

Prompt: “Hi! Can I please have some soft(but not a lot) Shiggyxf!reader? I keep thinking of this idea where they can never really get intimate because he’s scared of turning them into dust and always end up upset because he feels like he can’t give them all a relationship ‘supposedly’ should. So like, maybe the reader just proposes tying his wrists so he can’t use his hands or something? All consensual and nice and yay. Maybe? Pretty, please?Thanks!”

Tags: Bondage (Shiggy receiving), riding, sex guru Dabi strikes again

Word length: 1 624

Ao3: HERE - crossposted, you can find other works there

You paid no attention to the movie, instead choosing to focus on your boyfriend sitting next to you. Tomura had put away all his hands but his face was still covered by his pale blue hair. Suppressing the urge to tuck the stray hair behind his ear, you opt to rest your head on his shoulder, shifting closer to him.

Shigaraki tensed for a moment, before his guard went down with a soft exhale. Looking down at you, snuggled to his side, a small smile appeared on his scarred lips. Reaching behind you to put an arm around your shoulders, his breath and movement stop. The tension had settled back, down to his bones, and his face had stained with a grimace.

He was so close to feeling your skin, brushing circles on it. There were little things that he wanted more (besides his personal goals as the villain leader) and being denied it because of his own power left a bitter taste in his mouth. Clicking tongue, he settles his arm on the sofa backrest and turns his gaze to the screen, completely ignoring it.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened, no. You both have already lost count how many times his fingers were close enough to almost caress your skin, and how many times Tomura’s hands reached back, wrapped in a fist, nails digging into his skin. You longed for the touch and even tried semi-cropped gloves at the beginning of your relationship, but it was making his skin uncomfortable, while also putting him on edge. He didn’t like anything restricting the usage of his quirk, even if at the moment, decay was the last thing on his mind.

You noticed the tension radiating from him and suggested a solution of your own: “How about I tie you up?”

Tomura’s breath hitched, yet he managed to stutter out a response, mind blank. “What?”

After a while, you found yourselves in the bedroom, Shigaraki sitting on the bed, biting his lips, rubbing the silk between his fingers. He agreed during your short discussion, pros outweighing cons. Expecting that being tied up would feel different than wearing gloves, he went to Dabi for anything they could use, resulting in the silken rope in his hands.

You hadn’t been planning this for long, the thought came to you when you talked to Dabi and your conversation once again stirred into lewd topics. Letting it sit in your head, you wondered if you were one to tie someone else down, but the simple image of touching Tomura without worry on his side convinced you. You were doing this more for him than for you. Trusting him completely, it was him, who truly feared hurting you. Then, getting the rope itself was not a problem, as you were on good grounds with Dabi, and he was not one to shy away from sex talk and toys.

Sitting on Tomura’s lap, moving his hands away, you kiss him, freeing him from his doubts. Instead of touching you, his palms grab the sheets, gripping them like he wanted to grip your hips to rub your body against his.

His mouth opens, letting your tongue in. One of your hands wander in his hair, the other holding his shoulder, feeling his muscles move under his touch. Moaning out when you feel his hips buck against you, you break the kiss.

“Ready?” You ask, making sure. Shigaraki nods in affirmation and lays down, head between pillows, and arms joined at the headboard. He was anticipating your touch, beaming on the inside that you won’t crumble under his touch, instead, feeling only pleasure which he could not give you before fully due to the fog of worries that had permanently settled in his brain.

You lean over him, legs at his sides, and wrap the silk around his wrists, attaching it to the headboard. Tomura gives it a tug, trying out how firm they are, and indeed, his movement is limited, but the knot was just loose enough so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable. His breathing quickens, and you rub his cheek in affection, soothing his nerves.

“We can stop anytime,” you whisper against his lips, giving them a soft peck, before moving lower to cover his neck is soft kisses.

Shigaraki nods, anxiety already lowering because he cannot hurt you like this. He still felt slight remorse that he was unable to touch you, but he would prefer your safety anytime. Licking his chapped lips, he looks at you, spread out over his body.

A small moan escapes him when your teeth leave a mark on his collarbone. Your hands push his shirt higher, revealing his chest. You caress the pale skin, rubbing soft circles to make Shigaraki more comfortable.

Your hips brush over his clothed member, and you connect your lips in a deep kiss, swallowing his soft moans. His tongue dances with yours while he pushes his crotch up, sending a small shock of pleasure up your spine. Tomura keeps bucking and you feel your panties getting wetter by his every move.

Wanting to get closer to him, you sit up and take off your shirt and bra at the same time. Tomura licks his lips and tugs at the rope, hands gripping it tightly, but still careful not to decay the silk. In need of feeling your skin on his, he nudges you with his knee and pushes his hips up to bring you closer.

Smiling, you lean over him, noses almost touching. Your breath tickles on his lips and he shifts up to drag you into a kiss. With a smirk, you evade, and go tease his neck instead. Leaving licks and bites in your trail, you end up at his collarbone, marking it with a bruise. You detach with a pop, lips puffed from sucking and kissing.

“Fuck, (Y/N),” Tomura whines, needing to be inside you soon. The jeans he was wearing did not help, his cock pushing on the fabric with every move.

Your clit pulsates, your panties almost soaked by now. You hurry up to get rid of the rest of your clothes, and do the same for your boyfriend. His length on display, you sit on his lap, gripping it and guiding it to your soaked entrance.

Teasing him, you put the tip inside, circling and sliding along it, watching Tomura bury his head into the pillows with a groan. Just this small sensation fogged his sight and mind. His hands pulling at the silk, he wanted nothing more than to decay the rope, grab you, and roam your skin freely as he pounds into you.

“More, baby,” he manages to breathe out, red eyes glued to yours. His hips would be pushing up if it weren’t for your tight hold on them, keeping them down.

Having enough of teasing and feeling empty, you slide down his cock. Moaning out as he slightly brushes against your sensitive spot, you start to move. He pushes inside you in a perfect rhythm, forcing a groan out of you with each stroke.

“That’s it, Player Two… that’s it…” Tomura moans out, watching you impale yourself on his length, breasts bouncing.

You hum and increase the speed, adjusting the angle slightly so he hits deeper now. You yelp when he strokes your spot perfectly and move to feel the spark of sensation again. Your thighs start to feel the strain and begin to ache.

Shifting to be chest on chest with Shigaraki, you grab him by his nape, fingers digging into the soft hair and bring your lips to his. He instantly gives you sloppy, open mouthed kisses, moaning and breathing into your mouth, mirroring your own state.

This new angle enables him to push further into you, his heels dug into the sheets, knees bent, and hips hovering over the bed, he rams into you with an almost animalistic need. You can’t do anything but take it, each thrust making you groan, and you whimper his name into his lips.

“T-Touch yourself for me, won’t you?” Tomura mumbles, voice deeper, stained with pleasure. Your hand moves down on command, circling your clit swiftly, pressuring it to send you over the edge.

Shigaraki takes in the sight of you, red faced with darkened eyes. His view ends soon when you place your head in the crook of his shoulder, biting down at the skin. The pain urges him to slam harder, teeth clenched in pleasure. His thighs start to strain, only making him to keep the momentum, thrusting into your pussy, revelling in the way you clenched around him. The heat embracing him with every push only dazzled him and he came with a loud groan, spilling into you.

His orgasm ended with a long, deep thrust, sending you over the edge. You collapse on top him, eyes rolled back, breathing heavily. Tomura is in the same state, mind clouded and sweat making him feel sticky.

You lie there for a while, catching air, and you caress his arms. Remembering that he is tied up, you hurry up to get rid of the silk.

“Was it okay?” you ask, biting your lip as you lie down next to one another, your head resting on his shoulder. He rubs his wrists, stained with small red bruises that would disappear within a day.

“Yeah… I didn’t mind it at all,” Shigaraki smiles at you and you sigh in relief. A spark resides in his eyes, one that you don’t get to see often. He kept on grinning, happy that he could now make love to you without worrying. The cost of restrained arms was but a little bump. One that he could live with easily.

[strangeradventuresofp]

victim (dutch van der linde x reader)

a/n: SO im still not fully back into the rut of writing yet but im trying! rping has really helped me get my passion back! also! i have a new found love for dutch cus hes beautiful (he’s still a bit of an asshole) but i still love him so i wrote this lol. took me a couple days but im kinda happy with it? there’s no real point to it honestly i just wanted to write smth soft for my plan man<3 that being said, thank you so much to @magic-multicolored-miracle​ and @sheriffgerard​ for giving me some feedback yesterday! i very much appreciate it! SUPER long a/n im so sorry lol but anyway i hope you enjoy and i hope you have a wonderful day! xo p

masterlist (requests are back open!)

(gif is not mine)

Prescott used as a placeholder last name since reader is based from my oc

The night air was cold against you, biting over every inch that made your hairs stand up on end and goose bumps prickle over your paled skin. Despite the shielding canvas walls, the wind still tore through, forcing a shiver up your spine that clawed uncomfortably at your scalp. Cold wasn’t new to you; the nights and early mornings tended to be chilly in Horseshoe Overlook, but you couldn’t complain after Colter – it was unbearable over there. So, this was an improvement.

It didn’t take away how uncomfortable you were, though.

And with that awfully familiar absence beside you, comfort in any form was distant. You suspected that was what woke you.

When you rolled over your hands reached out, groping the vacant space with a frown. Chocolate lashes fluttered open and suddenly you became aware of the repetitive thud of boots against wood, back and forth. Beneath that, there was soft muttering, quiet. Though despite how quiet the voice was, stress and anxiety screamed through each syllable at a frequency that any could hear.

“...And then we can get on a boat and go... Somewhere. Somewhere far away from here and—”

“Dutch,” you were able to see through the lantern-light that his eyes flitted towards you for a second, but he didn’t turn his head or stop talking, and the pacing continued on just as it was before. “Would ya come back to bed, my love?”

At your offer, you pushed yourself up and reached your arms out toward him.

A deep sigh escaped his heaving chest. He turned to you.

Even in the partial darkness, the emotion was rife in his face, in his eyes – they used to be bright, raging fires but now they were nothing more than dull, wavering embers that were the smallest breath away from deadening. Weariness was visible, purple bleeding through his skin in half-moons under his eyes. They pulled such a weight with them that he seemed to carry with his entire body, back slumped over and shoulders tensed in order to heave the weight.

It wasn’t often that he let himself look so vulnerable, not even in front of you.

But the concern that riddled your face and the softness in your words had him crumbling right before you, a victim to the sound of your voice.

Dutch Van der Linde wasn’t a victim.

His brows lowered into a frown, a scowl, a mask that hid him in plain sight. But it didn’t. Not to you.

“’F ya frown too much, yer face’ll stick,” you teased in that charming drawl, smiling when his face relaxed and a deep chuckle rumbled in his chest.

His thudding boots brought him closer to you, calloused fingers reaching out to hold and tilt your chin while he kissed you. The feeling of his chapped lips pressed against yours made your chest swell with warmth, a quiet giggle leaving you at the tickle of his scratchy moustache against your skin.

When he pulled away, he took a seat beside you. “Go back to sleep, my dear.”

“Not without you.” Retorting, you pulled your brows together in a frown. Dutch sighed, rubbing his face stressfully with his ring clad hands.

A sigh left you, pulling his hand towards your chest. Slowly, you began to slide each ring from his left hand, pressing a kiss to his palm, then his fingers, and then repeating the same with his right hand. He merely watched you, seemingly unable to do anything else. You collected them in your lap, scooping them up and placing them on a nearby barrel.

“C’mere.” He gestured with a pat to his thigh. You scooted over and rested your head in his lap. Keeping one hand on your cheek, he began to play with your hair, an action that he knew you loved. Your heart beamed when you realised what he was doing.

“Do you have faith in me, my darlin’?” Those fires in his eyes started to ignite just a little while he awaited your answer.

You brought your hand up to touch his face, and run your hand through his dark locks. “Dutch, of course I do.”

A long exhale pushed through his parted lips, opening his mouth to say something when you cut him off.

“I just wonder if...”

“If what?”

You winced at those angry tones already beginning to seep through from his tongue into his words.

“I want ya to have everything under control, but when yer comin’ back to me like this every night,” you took a breath. “It makes me feel like you don’t.”

He breathed out once again, nostrils flaring, fires burning in his wide eyes. Moving you off his lap, he stood and stomped over to the opening for his tent.

The betrayal that built in his stomach was unbearable. The way that it licked up the back of his throat and almost forced awful words, directed at you, to spill from his lips was frustrating. If it were anyone else, a thousand words about a traitor would’ve been spoken—or rather, been shouted—and they’d be wedging knives in his back that he didn’t even know about. But not you. No, he knew your intention, deep down. He knew that you were only worried for him and didn’t want him to put himself in unnecessary danger.

How the hell was he supposed to be this big, bad outlaw when the sight of you or the smallest sound of your voice made him weak at the knees?

When he had bedded you, he had only thought that you two of you would be nothing more than that – bedding each other whenever the other needed it. But then, there was that one night when you coaxed him into staying with you. The touch of your warm skin against his and how your body was tucked under his arm made you look so small. That’s when he noticed how hard his heart was thundering in his chest.

Dutch Van der Linde didn’t love.

You knew that, and somehow you still shared his bed, kissed him of your own accord, helped him calm down. He couldn’t understand.

Sometimes it felt like a game, which excited him.

So, of course when he felt your small hands wrap around his forearm, his feet glued themselves to the spot and he found himself unable to take another step forward.

“Please stay. I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean anythin’ bad by it.” Your voice was quiet, and soft. “I just—”

“Miss Prescott.”

“I just worry about ya, Dutch.”

His heart damn near stopped in his chest when you wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed your forehead against his muscular back. He found himself wanting to simply pin you down and be done with this.

“I’m sorry,” a whisper this time, one that made Dutch’s breath falter in his throat. What were you doing to him?

“I know, Miss Prescott. I know.” He sighed, swivelling around to hug you and stroke your hair comfortingly. His heart ached in his chest at how little your voice sounded, and how small your body was against his. He wanted to take care of you.

Dutch took your chin between his fingers, pressing a hard kiss to your mouth which you gladly accepted with a light moan.

Dutch Van der Linde wasn’t in love.

He didn’t love.

He couldn’t love.

He wasn’t a victim.

[katsrnerstories]

BillDip SlowBurn FanFic Chap. 1

Bill had destroyed Dipper's mind.

It has been a few years since weirdmageddon. Since Dipper and Mabel defeated demons from hellish planes of existence and saved the world and their friends from soul and mind crushing madness.  

Dippers a freshman in college now. It was a moment that he had wished for for years. Highschool had been…

Well it wasn't the worst it could have been. Dipper hit a major glow up around the beginning of junior year (with Mabel's help of course) and life was a little easier. He was asked out on dates, went to a few parties here and there that people dragged him to, had some typical highschool fun in the city...

Until around that same time he started getting replies from colleges his senior year, he started to see Bill again. Every once in a while his mind would wander back to that summer, but it was always the good things or nightmares of the horrors they saw.

It started with just a little glimpse here and there. An eye in the back corner of his periphery, some yellow glimpse in a dark room. 

A ghostly hand on his shoulder.

But these things were nothing to the first time Dipper realized something was wrong.

Dipper saw Bill in his dreams. And those dreams were beyond nightmares.

He had had nightmares before. Nightmares of weirdmageddon were common for both dipper and Mabel. But these… these were real; as much as a dream could be.

Because of Gravity Falls, Dipper really wasn't afraid of a lot of things that would have scared him. The unknown was comforting to him. Maybe because it wasn't too unknown to him and Mabel.

But bill. During those nightmares, brought everything he feared to the frontlines. 

It had been a while since Mabel and him shared a room, so Mabel really didn't know about the fear Dipper experienced those nights. 

She was more focused on getting to LA.

She wants to be a criminal psychoanalyst. To look at the minds of people and figure how they tick. Criminals especially. 

Dipper could swear that Bill had done something to her to make her go down such a dark career path, but he couldn't say anything; he neither had a psychology degree nor was untouched by Bill himself.

Who really knows, it could have been anything else that happened to her in those hellish four years of highschool. 

She had moved away quickly after highschool ended to learn in LA. Of course they facetime and text all the time, but the separation was still felt by both of them.

Everyone missed her presence. Her positivity, her unique personality. 

That had transformed into something much darker come junior and senior year. She found out after a few failed boyfriends that she was not only Asexual, but that guys and even girls, can’t seem to give that part of a relationship up. Some even found it offensive that she felt that way.

Dipper went back to oregon. Of course he was in the city, but on weekends he would visit the Mystery Shack and Gravity Falls. 

Soos was happy to give him one of the rooms in the basement. Sometimes even Grunkle Stan or Grunkle Ford would visit. 

They decided shortly after Dipper and Mabel left that they would travel. Of course Ford's labs still sit under the mystery shack, but when Mabel and Dipper visited Soos the summer of their junior year Ford gave them full control of the labs (as long as Dipper kept everyone safe. Which he did too much annoyance of Mabel)

Soos and his wife at that time had just had a little baby boy, and now have a comfortable four kids, two boys and two girls (three of them were triplets) and run the shack not to much better than Stan did, with the same soul in the campy attractions and overpriced merchandise.��

Wendy is in her senior year at a community college in Oregon city, right around the same place Dipper decided to go to school. They hang out pretty regularly, just around weekly.

Robby left gravity falls as soon as he got his GED. Went for New York, looking for a punk career. He sends Wendy emails every once in a while about his music and where he's at. 

Shockingly, Pacifica stayed in Oregon, going to the same college Dipper goes to. They see each other, and after leaving her family, she found a lot out about herself and became a much better person. 

She found she loved a good smoke and art. Apparently, something she hid from the world was that she loved art. She was probably one of the best artists Dipper had seen. After she left the hell hole of her family, she became really chill. Calm. even nice. 

Her and Dipper have coffee pretty much every day. She was one of the only people who also knew what he had gone through.

And she was the only person who noticed as Dipper got worse and worse for wear. 

Bill had been particularly evil the past few weeks, taking much more joy in Dippers struggle. Long ago Dipper had just sort of given up on screaming for Bill to stop. But he always refused to make a deal with him to stop the fear. Not again. 

“Another nightmare again?” Pacifica asks, as Dipper requests 5 shots of caffeine in his already bitter caffeinated black coffee. 

“Yeah. it's getting harder and harder to say no every night. And honestly the empty dorm isn't helping.” 

“Why don't you just move in with me? I've got an extra room that's got your name written on the door if you want it.” 

Dipper almost accepted, but decided against it. It was kind of weird, no matter how good of friends they were, to live with the ex that made you realized you were gay.

It wasn't her fault, it was just…

He liked a different kind of ass, as Mabel had said when he came out.

No, the daily overpriced coffee meetup was enough. 

“Have you talked about it to Ford? Hes got to know something about it if he went through the same thing?” 

“I don't want to bother them with it. They thought they got rid of Bill that summer, we all did. Bills my problem now.”

Pacifica gives him a knowing look. She knew that he was breaking, but couldn't figure out how to help him. 

“Hows journalism?” Pacifica takes her coffee as she changes the subject.

“As boring as it ever is. Graphic design?”

“As confusing as ever.” Dipper takes a big sip from his steaming coffee. It's a briskly cold morning, enough he brought out his knit set Mabel had made for him on their 18th birthday. He had no shame in wearing it, and it in fact felt comforting today, to know that she was still with him in heart at least.

She never grew out of her sweater thing. She still makes sweaters, using it to get her to the next rent payment sometimes. Everyone can count on a big box with sweaters from her every Christmas here in Oregon. 

With their coffees in hand, Dipper and Mabel head off to campus. And once they made it there they said their goodbyes with a hug and went their separate ways to start the day. 

Dipper wanders into the lecture hall for his advanced maths class. People filter in as he types away on his computer. 

The students around him wanted to be scientists, economists, etc. everyone found it weird that a creative writing major was not only taking advanced maths, this early in the morning, but was killing it. His grades spoke for themselves. 

The class starts and Dipper still types away on his computer. He had been bored the night before as he was staving off sleeping and had read a chapter ahead in their textbook. He taught himself the three hour lesson that day in an hour. 

It was no doubt that Dipper took after his great uncle Stanford. Grunkle Ford told him at one point that Dipper reminded him of a young Dr. Fiddleford. Dipper didn't really like being compared to the scientist that started a whole cult under Gravity Falls before going batshit crazy himself for a very long time.

He only hoped that he wouldn't end up like him. He didn't want to be some crazy man who roams the town. 

Dipper had a story that he needed to finish for his next class. He had started to wear away the stories of Gravity Falls with his creative writing classes that he now had to actually think about what story to write. Mabel helped him out with the premise of the story last night. So he spent that class writing a simple flash fiction of one roaming the backrooms. (an urban legend Mabel had read about in an article somewhere.)

He found comfort in knowing that one thing did not exist to him. That one thing did not sit in the pits of Gravity Falls waiting for Dipper or one of them to unearth it.

The story reminded Dipper of falling through the endless pit just outside the Mystery Shack. A hole where they reminisced on days of the summer as they spent the day, or who knows how long, falling. they were all lucky that it was not, truly, endless. 

And quickly the story was finished and the class closed early. 

Dipper went for an early lunch. He scrolls through his phone, seeing Mabels three new instagram posts and all the other people she introduced him to. 

After Mabel found out Dipper was gay, she went on a mission to hook him up with some LA guy. Oregons not terrible with their acceptance, but it's not something to be very open about. Plus Dipper wasn't the kind to walk pride without someone like Mabel hyping the both of them up. Because god knows that she needs just as much hyping up with who she is as Dipper.

When he walks into his empty apartment, anxiety wells up in Dippers chest. Quickly he turns on the TV, letting it run as white noise as he makes his lunch. The apartment had been empty since his recent relationship ended. Dipper is glad it ended, as the abuse just got too much; yet it was bad for Dipper to be left alone with his thoughts. Especially in an apartment that seemed to hold so much sadness and bad memories.

Mabel, after helping Dippers style, had made him a whole cookbook for him. It had all different kinds of foods, but the main dishes all were healthy. She had gone on a fitness rampage her sophomore year and had never truly grown out of it. It was from a bad place, but she turned it to a positive. As she always does. 

She had told him that it was the first thing other than sleep to keep alive longer. She had made him promise that he would try to stay alive. 

At this point it was the only thing keeping Dipper alive. 

Bill had taxed his mind so much it was rare to find him not paranoid. Bill made Dippers anxiety beyond chronic, and the lack of sleep did not help his depression. 

That had developed after Pacifica. It wasn't because of the break up, more at the fact that she had helped him so much. 

She had accepted him being gay. She had helped him gain friends during their relationship, and she even helped him when money wasn't the best. 

All this caused his anxiety to get to his head. 

What if they think I’m evil for breaking it off with her? What if she'll never want to see me again? What if, what if, what if…

His depression had just gotten  worse after the breakup and dealing with being alone again. It was the reason Dipper stayed with someone like that for so long. 

All of the depression and anxiety ended up crashing down at the same time Bill Cypher ended up crashing into the picture. 

At that point Bill only came to terrorise Dipper a few nights a month. It was easier to deal with.  Now it's every night.

Dipper finishes making his food, sitting down in front of the TV to watch a show on Netflix. 

He had been getting through the true crime shows. He swore that eventually he'd eventually either run a show like it with Mabel or be one of the cold cases lost to the world. 

Yet within only a few minutes Dipper not only found himself asleep, but stuck in the mindscape. 

“Been trying to avoid me, Pine Tree?”

Dipper no longer was shocked by Bill's voice. In fact the more and more he heard his voice, the more and more it began to sound almost human.

[thatonesadending]

Power of Words - Chapters 5

Molly is overwhelmed with how much has changed, including his body. Caleb helps him feel a bit more normal.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31056542

It could have been minutes, or hours, that Molly sobbed into Caleb’s neck. He didn't have a grip on time, let alone his current reality, so he let himself cry until his voice was hoarse, and his cheeks tight with dried tears. He wasn't sure when he had sunk to the floor, but Caleb had gone with him, holding him close, cradling Molly in his arms as he sobbed his way to exhaustion.

It wasn't that Molly was sad or unhappy really, but he was experiencing a sort of onslaught of grief of his own death. Of all the adventures he missed, the moments he didn’t get to share. Complicating it was that he knew that his friends, people he had grown to love over an impossibly short time, now had images of him hurting them that he didn’t have. Why else had they been scared of him, wary of his return?

And then there was the issue of him. This body. The coat had helped ground him, but it only lasted a short while. Every reflection in the glass that he caught, every flinch when he approached one of the Nien too fast, every time he looked at his own hands and saw the missing rings and golden caps on his fingers … It reminded him of the fact that he had been lost, and someone else had been piloting this body.

The mixture of all the upsetting feelings, with the beauty of all the ways he had been remembered - preserved - created chaos of spilling out feelings that he couldn't help but let out in embarrassing sobs. The only thing that was coxing him back was Caleb’s hand, drawing circles on his back, humming some lullaby he faintly recognized.

There had been a time before, when he had come out empty and hollow from the grave he had been left in, that the only way Yasha had been able to calm him was to sing him a song meant for the Gods. A prayer pressed to melody. Caleb was humming it now, while rubbing his back. When he was able to steady his breathing enough, Molly managed to ask him about the song.

“How do - did Yasha give you the song?” His voice was still quiet, more of a whisper, but the ever preceptive Caleb still heard him.

“Yes, she shared it with me on a particularly hard night, seeing as we both can speak celestial.”

Molly had never thought to ask what language the song had been in, so many languages and things had been forign to him at the time. It didn't surprise him that Caleb had memorized it. He wanted to thank Caleb again, but it wouldn’t have conveyed how actually grateful he was. He stayed there for a few more moments, his cheek pressed to the man's chest, horn resting on his shoulder, and his tail wrapped tightly against his waist. It was only until he felt the ache of tiredness in his own bones, and remembered who he was holding on to, that he let go.

“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“It is alright Mollymauk, I only care that you are okay.”

Caleb didn't let Molly get very far in his self-conscious retreat, clasping him at the elbows and looking him firmly in the eyes. Molly wasn’t okay, but he also wasn’t not. He was caught in between glee at being alive again, and horror that someone else had been living for him in the meantime. And then there was that unspoken dread, the one that he was constantly trying not to think of, because what if Lucien ….

“It is alright to need time. I will do everything in my power to give you all the time you need to be okay.” Caleb’s words were like an incoming tide, slowly washing away at the edges of Molly’s worries.

“I am n- it’s just that…” He struggled find the words to try to express how he was feeling everything too much right now, and he really wanted to feel just like himself. Caleb stayed silent and just waited until Molly could compose himself to try again. “It’s a lot. The whole dying, being possessed by your former self - well a sad sack of a soul that was not me- and then living again to-” Molly gestered the gorgeous window and room that surrounded them. “-and still feel, I don't know, like I am not really here. Like I haven't earned the right to it.” Molly hadn’t really understood the weight of his emotions until he spoke aloud, and then he felt his eyes threatened to spill again. But of course, Caleb came to his rescue once more.

“Ah, I think I understand. I believe I can help, if that is alright?”

How Caleb could do anything more for him was beyond imaginable. He had already brought Molly back from his unconscious prison and a chance of life, given him a not only decadent room but one that represented his life, and most of all - Caleb had offered Molly an incredibly close embrace when he needed to cry out the most. Still, he chose to follow the human when they disentangled, and he had been led to the gorgeous red vanity he had admired before.

Caleb pulled out the overstuffed stool, and motioned for him to sit. He did so, admittedly a tad cautiously, since he didn't know what Caleb wanted from him. Nervous hands pulled out the top long drawer, but Molly couldnt take his eyes away from Caleb’s face, trying to see why the man was suddenly shy. He was used to Caleb being reserved, self-deprecating, humble to a fault, that was until he came back, and he found himself with a wizard that was more self assured and hopeful.

“My memory is not perfect, close, but - um - some things can be misremember, so if you would like any changes or if I got anything wrong …”

He looked down at the drawer as Caleb spoke. It was lined in a lavender velvet that almost perfectly matched his skin. Inside was every single piece of jewelry that he was currently missing, the outlandish bits of glitter and gold that Molly had used to set himself apart. From his earrings, the chains that had been in his horns, to the cuffs he had worn around his tail.

“I am not sure which set you would like. I tried to capture each I could remember.” Caleb was being far too modest. There laid perfect versions of every variation of his jewelry from when they had met in Trostenwald to when they left Hupperdook.

“The last ones.” His voice was still rough from crying, but Caleb ignored it and started to lift the various pieces from its place. Molly had wanted to say ‘Oh the ones that I was wearing when I died.’, but he didn't. He didn't want to taint why these were his favorite. How he had eavesdropped on Jester trying to convince Yasha to tell her which one he would like more, the horn cuff with matching  jade studs, or the crescent at the end of a teardrop earring that had a chain that would connect at the top of his ear. While Yasha had tried to convince her money would be better spent elsewhere, Molly could remember Nott sneaking up and simply pocketing both sets. She later presented them to Molly in front of the other women. “That shop was horrible, nothing worth taking, but they wouldn’t leave … so here.” He knew she hadnt meant it, that she was actually offering friendship, not earrings. He took and cherished them all the same.

Caleb was gentle, fastening the earrings with care, being impossibly soft with his horns while he placed the jewelry. Molly didn't say a word, Caleb knew where every bit went. He hadn’t meant to screw his eyes shut, but it was the only way to prevent more tears, those of anxiety, from falling. It wasn't until he felt a thumb slowly pressing gentle circles at the base of his horns, that he was able to blink his eyes open again. Caleb was kneeling in front of where he sat, hands still massaging this temple.

“Would you like to look?” he asked. Molly nodded, though only after a moment. Caleb pulled out a hand mirror, as though he knew that he couldn't turn to look at himself in the large one hanging above the vanity quiet yet. He took the matching ornate mirror and looked at just his horns, then to his ears, and then to his face. His horns and ears were familiar, grounding him in the memories that he felt were just yesterday. They gave him considerable relief compared to the reflections he had caught earlier, that looked nothing like him, but that of Lucien.

It was when he got to his actual face, did he feel the weight of sorrow again. It was still him, of course, but his hair was long and the curls greasy were uncared for. His lips were wind chapped and cracking. The hallows of his cheeks were more pronounced. It was only then that Molly realized how much weight he had lost, his already slender frame now reduced to just what was necessary. It was obvious that Lucien had not cared for his body, not with good food or consideration for its frame.

Molly tried not to let the disappointment show, because the jewelry really had help, and he appreciated Caleb’s sweetness, but there was still a part of him that was missing, hollow. Try as he might, Caleb apparently had the gods on his side.

“Not enough, ja? That is alright, give me just another moment.”

Molly didn't know how this man knew what was going on in his head, especially when he had only spoken a half a dozen or so sentences since entering this magical room. All the same, Caleb rose from his knees and crossed the room where a thick silk rope hung, and pulled on it twice. He couldn't hear what the other man said, but it was brief, and then Caleb was back his side, opening drawers again.

“I will admit, I do not know your preferences, but these are the cosmetics that Jester prefered, I only altered them to what I thought you might have enjoyed.” Molly chose to ignore the past tense, especially when Caleb pulled out several different vials of hydrating oils, scented balms for blisters, and …. A beautiful array of gold tinted make-up.

“God’s, Caleb! How much did you spend on this?!” Molly couldn’t help admonish while admiring a glistening jar of lavender body oil.

“Nothing but my imagination.” Caleb supplied, as though it was the most natural answer in the world. Catching Molly’s confusion, he continued. “This is actually a demiplane, it only lasts for 24 hours, and you can not take out what you did not bring in other than what you consume.” Caleb looked apologetic, as though that wasn’t work that only Gods should be able to do. “So while you may wear anything you want while you are here, unfortunately if it is made of magic, it won't survive outside of the tower’s walls.” Molly didn’t care, it was grateful just the same for what Caleb was giving him. The wizard handed him a balm for his lips, and opened another drawer and pulled out a delicate-looking comb.

“There is a bath on the other side of the dresser, if you have the energy for that. I am sure Jester would be willing to cut your hair, if you would like. But how about I comb it out first, and you can decide if you want that later?” Caleb’s offer warmed him, so he nodded and let the man comb through the knots of his hair, while Molly took advantage of the balms and lotion. They worked in comfortable silence for several moments. Caleb was careful and calm, relaxing Molly enough that he felt is eyes fall closed again, but this time to just sit and feel the small touches of fingers on his scalp and running through his hair. It wasn’t until he felt a small tap, that he looked and saw a cat he’d never met, somehow holding a bowl of fruits and bread and a large glass of water.

“Ah yes. Thank you.” Caleb took the bowl and set it on the table next to Molly. “If you are hungry. But please, drink this.” The glass of water was pressed into his hands, and Molly readily gulped most of it down. “If you need anything, do not be afraid to ask. The cats will bring you what you need.” How that was possible, was beyond him. But he had also been bitten by a wessel that was also apparently a god, so anything could be possible then.

Molly took a few of the grapes, and let himself relax again as Caleb finished with his hair.

“I am done. Does that feel better?” Caleb asked, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to look again. He did anyways, in the larger mirror on the wall, and was pleasantly surprised. His skin was still a bit pale, but no longer ashy with lack of moisture. He did even mind the longer hair, now that Caleb had worked out the tangles, the longer curls falling past his shoulders. He wondered if Yasha would braid it around his horns. His lips even looked more like his, smoothed and shining from the balm. He pressed his fingers to them and hummed a please affirmative to Caleb.

“Good, would you like me to call fetch Yasha for you?”

Yes. He missed her terribly, it felt like it was just yesterday that he had been terrified about how she was because she had been taken from him by slavers. But he still wasn’t quite ready to confront that.

“In a bit, stay with me?” Molly couldn’t read Caleb’s expression, it was a mixture of surprise and warmth. He didn’t say anything, but followed him to sit on the edge of the ridiculous bed. Caleb seemed to be looking to Molly for clues of what to do, so Molly sat close and rested his cheek on the wizard's shoulder. When he didn't flinch, or stiffen like Molly would have expected, he took it as a sign that this was ok. His tail wrapped lazily around Caleb’s ankle, and he drew little patterns on Molly’s knee. They stayed like that for only gods know how long, in comfortable silence, letting the tiefling clear out his mind from all the clutter and noise the day brought. He was beginning to feel like he could maybe, possibly, start process the day’s emotions.

[chicgeekgirl89]

The Way Our Horizons Meet: Chap. 2

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand

Rating: T

Summary: Carlos’ perspective through the aftermath of T.K.’s shooting. Follows the events of episodes 1x08-1x10

Read Chapter 1 Here

Days passed. Carlos went to work, did his job, went home. It was like T.K. had never existed. If it weren’t for the sweatshirt left on the back of his couch, T.K.’s preferred coffee mug still in the sink, it would have been like their relationship never happened.

Would anyone even think to let him know if something changed? If T.K. didn’t wake up…or if he…took a turn for the worse? Would they call him? Or would he just hear about it on the news like he was nobody?

And then, after six days, he was on shift when his phone buzzed. 

Message from T.K. Strand

Lightning shot through him. He nearly dropped the phone, couldn’t move his fingers fast enough to get it unlocked so he could read the message. 

Hey.

Carlos blinked a few times. “You okay?” Sarah asked from her desk opposite him.

“It’s uh, it’s a text from T.K.,” Carlos said, trying to process a thousand feelings at once. His brain seemed to have stalled out.

“What does it say?” Sarah asked.

“It just says ‘hey,’” Carlos told her, holding up the phone so she could see.

“Well that’s a good sign right? It means he’s awake?” 

“I guess so.” Carlos stared at the message.

“Are you going to text him back?” Sarah asked.

“I—-I don’t know,” Carlos said.

“Carlos you’ve waited days for this,” Sarah said.

“I know, I know I have I just…what do I even say? ‘So I guess you’re not dead?’ ‘How’s the bullet wound healing up?’”

She raised her eyebrows. “You could just say ‘hey’ back.”

He didn’t have the chance. They got a call and by the time his shift ended two hours later he still hadn’t responded. Instead he called Michelle.

“Are you serious right now?” she asked. “Stop being such a coward and text him back!Or, better yet, go over there!”

Apparently the surprises weren’t done for the day. “He’s home?”

“Strand said he was released this morning. That’s probably why he texted you.”

Before Carlos could stop himself he flipped on his blinker and took a right in the opposite direction of his condo. He gripped the wheel tightly, anxiety racing through him so fast he felt like his whole body was vibrating. 

He pulled up to the Strand’s house and it was only then that he realized what a terrible mistake this might be. What if the captain was home? What if T.K. wasn’t feeling well or didn’t want to see him?

If he didn’t want to talk to you he wouldn’t have texted, Carlos lectured himself sternly. Maybe it was a little presumptuous to just show up on the guy’s doorstep, but…he needed to see for himself that T.K. was all right.

Belatedly he realized that T.K. might be sleeping or immobile and unable to answer the door. But he’d already rung the bell and he heard the slow and slightly unsteady footsteps of someone moving around. The door opened and there he was, eyes open, face still a shade or two too pale, but alive, whole, and blinking against the sunlight. “Hey,” he said, smile slowly spreading across his face.

“Seriously?” Carlos barked out a sharp laugh, tears pricking at his eyes again. “You’ve been in a coma for a week and that’s all you can think to say? Hey?”

“Well like you said, I was in a coma,” T.K. said, smile now a full on grin that tugged at Carlos’ heart. “I’ll try and come up with something better for next time.”

Carlos shook his head. “God please don’t even say that.”

The air around them seemed to buzz with that same strange energy Carlos always felt around T.K.; like he wanted to bare his soul, tell him every secret he’d ever kept buried in his heart, and also rip his clothes off all at the same time. God damn this man made him a little crazy.

Carlos almost reached out, almost put a hand on T.K.’s face, his shoulder any part of him that would make this feel real. But he still wasn’t sure of anything at all so instead he simply curled them into fists at his side. “Are you okay? They sent you home so you must be healing, right?”

“I mean I still have a hole in my chest,” T.K. said. “But yeah, everything is functional.”

“Good,” Carlos said, uncertainty running through him. “I’m…I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks,” T.K. said. 

“Cool.” Carlos was at a loss now and the silence between them was growing awkwardly long. This had been very stupid, he should have just texted back. “So I guess, I’ll see you around then?”

T.K. nodded. “Yeah, yeah I think you will.”

Carlos turned and started back toward his car, confusion swirling through him. Somehow he’d imagined…well he wasn’t sure, but not this. Damn Michelle and her stupid ideas. He should have known better than to listen to a woman who violated her restraining order on a regular basis. Usually he was more level headed than this, how could he have been—

“You really came all the way over here just to leave without coming inside?” T.K. called from behind him.

Hope sparked in his chest and he turned back to see a shit-eating-grin all over T.K.’s face. His own smile spread wide, relief crashing over him and making him feel almost dizzy. He shook his head. “Oh my god you suck,” he said, walking back to the door.

“You’re in your uniform. I like to see you walk away,” T.K. said, stepping back so Carlos could come inside.

He suppressed a chuckle. “Glad to see your brush with death hasn’t changed you.”

“It would take a lot more than a bullet for me to stop thinking you’re hot,” T.K. told him as he resettled himself on the couch, unable to completely hide a wince despite the cocky bravado he’d put on. 

Carlos sat next to him, leaving some space between them so T.K. could move as he needed to to get comfortable. “Where’s your dad?” he asked, eyes taking in the pill bottles, empty granola bar wrappers, and water bottles on the coffee table.

“The station,” T.K. said. “I couldn’t take having him around anymore. He hovers like you would not believe.”

“So you’re just here by yourself?” Carlos was slightly horrified. Coming from a large family he couldn’t imagine being left alone after such a grave injury. He’d come home with sprained ankles, bruised ribs, and concussions and it never failed that within minutes of his arrival some well meaning family member was knocking on his door. 

“Well not anymore,” T.K. said, flashing that grin again just before he leaned into Carlos, settling against his chest so Carlos had no choice but to wrap his arms around him.

They sat that way for a long time, the TV playing some daytime soap opera that likely neither of them were paying attention to. At least, Carlos definitely wasn’t. He was too deeply wrapped up in disbelief. He’d spent the last week trapped in a haze of anxiety and now…the person he’d most wanted to see in all the world was literally in his lap. And he didn’t know what to do with that.

He had questions, things he wanted to say, but he could tell T.K. was nodding off so instead he sat quietly, just holding him, letting the moment, a moment he’d been uncertain would ever happen again, live around him.

After about forty minutes T.K. startled himself awake and then immediately tensed, letting out a low groan of pain. Carlos rubbed a hand up and down his arm, worry pinching in his stomach. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” T.K. said, his voice strained. “Yeah just give me a second.”

Carlos continued to rub his arm soothingly, pressing his lips into T.K.’s hair as the other man breathed through the pain. “What can I do?” he asked as the minutes ticked by and T.K. still didn’t relax. 

“There’s uh, there’s some maximum strength Tylenol in the kitchen,” T.K. said. “If you don’t mind—“

Carlos was already easing out from behind him, moving slowly so as not to cause him any more pain. “I’ll be right back.”

He found the medication quickly and grabbed a few more bottles of water while he was there. T.K. was lying flat out on the couch when he returned, a hand over his face, his whole body stiff. 

“Hey,” Carlos said softly, kneeling by his head and cracking open the bottle, dumping two pills into his palm. “Just sit up for me a little bit, okay?”

He helped T.K. lift his head a few inches to swallow them down with a sip of water. “Oh god,” T.K. groaned as he reclined fully, face pinched in pain. “Sorry, I’m not much of a host right now.”

“It’s all right,” Carlos assured him, reaching up to gently card his fingers through T.K.’s hair. “I’ll go so you can get some rest.”

He started to stand but T.K. caught his hand. “You don’t have to,” he said and something in his eyes stopped Carlos in his tracks. He sank back down beside him, sitting cross legged on the carpet and rubbed his thumb soothingly over the back of T.K.’s hand. “I’ll be right here.”

T.K. slipped back into sleep not long after that for which Carlos was grateful. Sleep was far better than agonizing pain. 

Carlos straightened up the living room a bit, bagging the water bottles and wrappers, adjusting the pillows and blankets. He was clearly his mother’s son, fussing and fidgeting around even though a zonked out T.K. didn’t require a lot of help or supervision. But he couldn’t just sit and do nothing when the house lay in disarray.

As T.K. continued to sleep Carlos checked his watch and realized it had grown late. Before he could decide about waking T.K. to say goodbye he he heard a key in the front door lock and Captain Strand stepped into the house. Their eyes met and surprise registered on his face. “Officer Reyes. I didn’t realize you’d be here.”

Carlos shifted his weight nervously back and forth. “Yes sir. I just wanted to make sure he was all right.”

The captain came a few steps closer, eyes looking past him to where T.K. was sacked out on the couch. “Looks like you’ve done a fine job taking care of him.”

Carlos swallowed. “Yes sir,” he said again. “I should get going.”

“Well don’t leave on my account,” the captain said. “You’re welcome to stay for dinner.”

That was definitely boyfriend territory and since he and T.K. hadn’t really had that conversation yet, Carlos thought it best to bow out. “Thank you. Maybe some other time.”

The captain seemed to understand. “Well thank you for coming by. I’m sure my son appreciated it.”

“Could you let him know I had to go? I didn’t want to wake him.”

“Of course,” the captain said, though his eyes seemed to say a lot more than that. 

“Have a good night.” Carlos let himself out the front door. He got in his car and gripped the steering wheel tightly, relief and uncertainty mixing viciously in his stomach. He’d thought coming here and seeing T.K. was all right would somehow make things clear. But if anything he felt more confused than ever. Were they something? Or was he just a convenient hand to hold?

He shook himself. T.K. had been through a trauma. They all had. It wasn’t fair to expect anything of him right now. They would have time to talk. Carlos just wasn’t sure if he could survive the waiting. 

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (18)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 4,4K

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Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness

Notes: If anyone got the notification, please tell me 😭 If you guys want to get notifications (hopefully) please go here

Updates: Tuesdays

                                                         ////

   There were a lot of rumors going on right now.

    You prided yourself on not being the type to care about rumors and things like this but being in the center of so many of those in the last few days made it impossible for you to not be at least curious. The whispers had been obvious for a while now ─ particularly after Paris’ performance ─ and you couldn’t help but wonder how people could have so much free time in their hands and use it like that.

    You should have known, though.

    It was more than obvious that befriending Chan and Hyunjin would put you in the spotlight and it was bound to lead to dumb rumors at some point. You just didn’t expect them to be so dumb. Although you must have heard about hundreds of versions up to now, the core of all of them was pretty simple to catch: Love affairs and intrigue. That was what those incredible undergraduate brains could do with all of their loose imagination and wisdom.    

    You could kinda grasp why people thought you were dating Chan. You really could. You were pretty close with each other so it was logical for people to misunderstand your relationship… The thing is that you had been like this with Chan for ages now and no one ever had commented anything about it ─ at least not to this extent ─ so the real question here was pretty simple: Why now?

    “Hey” You lifted your eyes from the counter, meeting Hyunjin’s ones “Daydreaming at work?” He chuckled, leaning on the surface as he rested his face on his hand, studying you closely.

    Well… Then there was that too.

    Not only you were dating Chan but you were also cheating on him with Hyunjin… So maybe you could understand why people thought you were with Chan but where did this come from? It didn’t make any sense. First of all, they’re best friends living together! How the hell would you two-time Chan right under his roof with his best friend?! Second of all, you didn’t give away any hint on feeling something for Hyunjin! And he didn’t show anything similar for you either!

    No. Fucking. Sense.

    “Yeah…” You agreed mindlessly, mimicking his position to stare into his eyes “What about you? Why are you here?” You asked curiously, tilting your head as he smiled fondly at you; face too close for you to completely catch his shrug.

    “Can’t I drop by to see a friend?” He asked in a teasing tone “I should just have gone to see Paris… She treats me way better than you” He joked; hand reaching to fix a strand behind your ear “I should know you were just going after my body…” He sighed mockingly, chuckling as you rolled your eyes and tried to get away from his touch.

    “Stop it” You hissed “You know people are talking about us!” You frowned, getting a laugh as an answer. He leaned even closer, prompting you to lean back, trying to get more space between the both of you “You might like being the center of the attention but I don’t, Hyunjin” You mumbled, pushing him lightly so he would take a step back.

    “I didn’t think you were the type to care about what people thought about you” He pointed out, leaning back anyway “What are you worrying about? Do you think Chan will misunderstand us?” You weren’t really sure but his tone sounded a little bitter right there, and you couldn’t help but narrow your eyes.

    There was something wrong with Hyunjin these days…

    You were under the impression that he had been the target of those kinds of rumors throughout all his life and yet he was acting weirdly. Although he was quite playful about it ─ and by playful you meant flirty and touching ─, he also had those moments where he seemed to… Overthink? You weren’t really sure what was going on.

    It was like he couldn’t help but grimace each time you and Chan were mentioned on those. He seemed pretty okay in being the center of the rumors… Whether it was you or Paris, he didn’t seem to mind when either of you was pictured with him but he got clearly upset when Chan was involved. You were not sure if it was just his overprotective self over Chan or if he was suspicious of something going on between both of you while he knew the other rumors were just bullshit.

    He probably believed that both of you were hiding things from him. Again. You honestly had no idea why your friends had so much of a hard time understanding the things you said. You and Chan would never have anything! You were best friends, for Lord’s sake! And that was it.

    No. Romantic. Feelings. At. All.

    “There is nothing to misunderstand here, Hyunjin” You sighed “You and I have nothing going on and neither do I and Chan” You explained for the hundredth time already “Not wanting to fuel the rumors isn’t the same as caring about them” You added, grimacing at him in a matter-of-fact way that made him scoff.

    “I see…” He hummed, staring into your eyes for a second too long “Well… Anyway, I came here for a new book” He clarified, placing the last one he borrowed on the counter “This one was pretty good but I still preferred the first you lent me” He added, drumming his fingers on the book’s cover “I was wondering if you don’t have any other indications” He shrugged, averting his eyes from yours.

  “Oh? I thought you were a slow reader” You arched your brows in surprise, taking the book from the counter while looking at him “Are you sure you read that one?” You joked, chuckling.

   “I guess you still have a lot to learn about me” He giggled, leaning once more on the counter “Maybe if you started to pay attention to me instead of listening to those rumors…” He let the sentence hang in the air teasingly, smirking as you rolled your eyes “Or maybe we should start dating to give them a reason to talk” He chuckled, wiggling his brows at you.

   “Great 5th grade way to think” You praised him mockingly, giving him a thumbs-up as you pressed the book against your chest and made your way to the shelf it was supposed to be on “Do you have any genre in mind?” You asked mindlessly, checking the codes to match the book.

    “Surprise me” He joked, trying to do an awkward French accent that made you look funnily at him “Oh, come on… Ratatouille? No? Really?” He nagged, mumbling displeased as you giggled at his antics.

    You turned on the aisle, eyes roaming around as he followed you closely behind, gaze wandering around the many books displayed on the shelves. You put the one you were holding back in its place, humming as you studied the content on the shelves. He hummed along with you, playfully leaning closer to your ear as he pretended to be invested in looking for something to read.  

    His presence sent shivers all the way down your body.

    No… Not his presence.

    It was the setting… Yes, it had to be it.

    The library had that mysterious ancient vibe that thrilled you… The brownish solid colors surrounding everything in a majestic framing that made you feel too small… The hard-covered books’ scent in the air, a full-bodied heaviness that seemed to clamp you… The dim lighting that revealed each scattering mote fluttering around, agitated by the soft huff Hyunjin let out… The warmth that crept into your bones as you held your breath for just a half-second…

    It wasn’t him.

    The way your heart rammed against your chest had nothing to do with his presence… Nor it had anything to do with his hands slowly making their way to the shelves, trapping you between him and the books… And you were almost too sure that the cloudy thoughts flickering in your mind and the fluttering sensations in your stomach ─ that forced you to swallow dryly ─ had something to do with your skipped meal but, again, not with him.

    “Someone looks nervous” He whispered and somehow his breathing seemed to tighten your chest and quicken your heart pace once more. You could see both of his hands right in front of you and yet it felt like he was embracing you… The way you had to force your eyes open wasn’t a good sign to your brain “All stiff and…” He continued; voice purposely teasingly “… Panting” He added, a hint of amusement under his tone.

    “Stop joking around…” You managed to say, lips quivering as he chuckled huskily. Although you could feel his warmth and presence clearly, there was no inch of skin ─ except his chin making its way to rest on your shoulder ─ to seal the deal. It felt intimate yet distant… It felt like you were supposed to laugh it off but you didn’t want to.

    “It doesn’t need to be a j—“ He couldn’t finish what he was going to say, interrupted by a gasp that had both of your heads snapping at the side. There, facing the aisle with mouth fully agape and widened eyes, was someone who was bound to spread some more rumors around.

    “I-I’m sorry” They blurted out “I-I didn’t mean to interrupt” They rushed to say, clearing their throat before turning around, utterly flustered by what they thought to have witnessed. You groaned, resting your forehead on the shelf before flicking Hyunjin’s nose, pushing him away for you to look for a new book.

    “Read this” You spat, shoving a random one into his hands.

                                                          ////

    Your thoughts were filled with Hyunjin.

    Although your eyes were fixed on the TV, you couldn’t care less about whatever was going on there. The voices sounded like a buzz in the back of your head and the image was almost too blurry for you to understand but Paris’ distinct laughter was a good cue for you to laugh at some joke you didn’t listen to. Whether it was your chuckle sounding too fake or too off time, she seemed to notice that something was going on inside your head.

    She didn’t even say anything, pausing the show before looking straight at you with a questioning look, arching her brow as she waited for you to say something. There was it… The two-path road. You could either tell her that it was nothing ─ and she would probably narrow her eyes at you until you made up a random excuse ─ or you could actually tell her what has been on your mind lately ─ and then you would have to put up with the insufferable Paris state.

    Too late to back off now… You should have paid attention to the show.

    You glanced at her ─ unsure about what to say or do at a moment like this ─, biting your lip as you blinked a few times to buy some time to decide what you were going to do. You knew Paris well enough to predict her reaction… As soon as you said that you have been thinking a lot about all those rumors, she would instantly assume that you were worrying over it because you had some suppressed feelings that you were trying to hide.

    You just knew it.

    “So…” She stressed, still staring at you “What’s going on inside that little box of yours?” She joked, pointing at her own head before hugging her knees, sitting across you on the couch.

  Path N° 1: The finals are right there at the corner…

  Path N° 2: I can’t understand where all those rumors are coming from… I didn’t do anything suspicious with Chan or Hyunjin and suddenly people are talking behind our back. Either I messed up really bad about something and didn’t notice or someone misunderstood something I did… Or maybe it could be because Hyunjin has been flirting a lot lately! He pinned me against the wall thrice already. Do you think this is strange? I’m finding it a little odd... Maybe I’m being too sensitive over useless st–

  “Y/N?” Paris called you softly, tilting her head to the other side as if it could help her to see what was going on in your mind “Are you feeling okay? You seem a little bit… Off… Today” She said carefully, studying your features for a brief moment.

  “I’ve been thinking about the rumors…” You began hesitantly, checking for her reaction “Don’t you find it strange? I mean… You and Hyunjin had your rumors before but I hadn’t been dragged into this until now” You pointed out, shrugging “I find it odd that people are talking about me and Chan out of nowhere and… Well, talking like I’m hooking up with Hyunjin behind your back” You explained.

  Paris didn’t say anything at first, seeming surprised by your worries.

  “Well…” She cleared her throat “I mean… I have heard some things about you and Chan around… And you kinda… Well—“ She licked her lips, visibly stiffening up as she thought about what to say “You know? Some people saw you guys at the library… And you guys keep calling each other sweety and stuff…” She floundered her hand in the air as if it helped her to express it better “And you gave him your keys… And he slept here the whole week…” She trailed off.

    “What the fuck?” You blurted, surprised by all this “How do they even know about this?!” You frowned, wondering how many people heard all those kinds of stuff out of context and got to build up a rumor like this.

    “Yeah… Well, you guys aren’t really subtle” She chuckled nervously “And I think that you shouldn’t really have said that you guys used to… Have sex…” She practically whispered the last part, ashamed to talk about it “Before, you know? Especially on a party” She cleared her throat once more, fixing herself on the couch.

    You had what now?

    “I never said that” You frowned “I never had sex with Chan… I-“ You scowled in disgust “Why would I ever have sex with Chan? We’re literally best friends! He’s like a brother to me or something… Ew” You scrunched your nose, shaking your head to get rid of the thought “What made you think I had sex with him? What the fuck?” it would be an understatement to say that you were flabbergasted.

    “Well… You kinda did” She arched her brow, looking at you filled with confusion “You told us you used to hook up with Chan, remember?” She asked as if she was talking to a kid “At the party, you clearly said that you used to hook up with him…” She pursed her lips, raising her eyebrows matter-of-factly, almost as if she was trying to transfer her memories to you.

    “No, I most definitely didn’t say this” You grimaced at her, finding all the situation kinda odd, “I said I hooked up with Chan’s friend” You emphasized, returning the look to her “I would never say I hooked up with him… You distorting what I said” You blinked, staring at her in confusion as she gasped.

    “Oh! It was Chan’s friend!” She chortled “Well, so you should roast Chan! He interrupted you, and I think everyone understood the very same as me” She huffed, seeming to find the situation amusing “Oh my God… I’m pretty sure that was what triggered the rumors about you and Chan, to be honest” She mused, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

    “I can’t believe you guys thought—“ You sighed in resignation “Well… Anyway, I’m not dating or fucking Chan” You said dismissively, already done with how all this had started “And what have you heard about Hyunjin? What started it all?” You deadpanned, waiting for some silly explanation once again.

  Paris stared blankly at you.

  “You’re kidding, right?” She sounded taken aback, looking at you as if you tried to make a bad joke. The way you stood silent, staring back at her in genuine curiosity, must have seemed really sincere because she chortled before answering you “Y/N, he literally kissed you at the stairs” She reminded you slowly, trying to get the words to sink into your head.

  She didn’t need to do much.

  You didn’t want to admit it ─ and you would refuse to for as long as you could ─ but that kiss… Fake kiss! That fake kiss… You couldn’t help but gulp down as you felt your senses being electrified just by the mention of it. How many times did you push aside that thought? How many times did you ignore the flickering thought in the back of your mind? How many times you could practically see him leaning in for a kiss?

  You licked your lips, biting them to restrain the turmoil inside your head.

  Of course, you weren’t blind… Hyunjin was a handsome piece of shit. You knew it even when you hated him. You knew it even when you didn’t want to acknowledge it… Even when you wanted to believe that it was just the popular opinion about him.

    Now, you couldn’t ignore how pretty he was.

    You weren’t quite sure if it was all in your mind ─ he did lean it too quickly for you to notice every single thing ─ but you could still feel the fire on his gaze as he made his move. You could remember how eager he was… Or at least, how eager you believed him to be as you were crushed against the wall and lost all the air inside your lungs. Was it just you being surprised? Was it the abruptness of the situation? Or did he really pin you against the wall as if his life depended on it? You surely felt like it was the last one… But could it be you the one who wanted to believe it for dear life?

    No, of course, not.

    The warmth of his hands still lingered there on your skin from time to time, and the soft pressure in your lips seemed to be carved at the back of your mind. You hated that sometimes you pressed your lips with your thumb ─ the same pressure though not the same way he did ─ just to snap out of it a second too late. You also couldn’t forget the way he tilted his head to deepen a kiss that didn’t really happen… The way the realization washed over you right at that second.

    It wasn’t disappointment… It was something else.

    You could still feel how his touch changed on that second… The hold was firm and consistent… It was like he didn’t want to let you go; like something just switched on his head and triggered something that felt so much like… You gulped down once more, still refusing to stress that thought out. The way your breaths mingled and hitched… Faltered… It was almost painful to know that it didn’t really happen.

    There was it…

    Desire and passion.

    The urges of a single woman who hadn’t been getting some in a while.

    “It was a fake kiss” You finally answered her but by now, Paris knew too damn well where your thoughts were wandering around a second earlier.

    “Yeah, but it seemed pretty real for anyone who took a glance at it” She reminded you, and the suggestive hint under her tone made you scoff “And I don’t want to say it—“

    “Then just don’t” You grimaced at her.

    “—But I think both of you were pretty into it even for a fake kiss…” She grinned at you teasingly, and the tired sigh that left your lips seemed to fuel her “I can remember quite well how you just let your hands right on his chest… I don’t recall you pushing him away, you know?” her grin spread all over her face “I think you enjoyed feeling him under your touch a whole lot…” She raised her eyebrows, throwing you a knowing look that made you huff, rubbing your face in distress.

    Why did she have to say that?!

    You clenched your fists, trying to suppress the memories that you didn’t need to have right now… So what if his chest felt so warm and firm under his shirt? So damn fine under your touch? What about the way the water droplets seemed to caress his tanned skin? So what if the very same droplets must have rolled down and down and down and… Well, all the way down from his throat to his collarbone to his chest to… You couldn’t help but lick your lips, shaking your head to dismiss the thought.

    It didn’t matter.

    The way he bought you coffee and waited for you on Monday? It didn’t matter. The way his damp hair gave him a sexy vibe that looked like a plead for being warmed up on a cold Tuesday? It didn’t matter. The way he was trying to impress you with good food? It didn’t matter. The way he kept visiting you at your work to ask for indications? It didn’t matter. The way he kept flirting and teasing you around? It didn’t matter.

  None of it mattered because Hyunjin had been pretty clear before.

  He wanted you as a friend.

  A good friend.

   “I think…” You trailed off, darting your eyes away from her “I may…” You gulped down, reconnecting your gazes before sighing heavily “I guess I’m feeling attracted to him…” You admitted.

    It probably wasn’t the reaction she was expecting because Paris just let her mouth hang open as her eyes widened, utterly in shock to hear it coming out of your mouth. You pursed your lips, feeling kinda embarrassed by her reaction, averting your gaze once more as you played with your own fingers, refusing to look at her. Was it that strange for you to feel… Well, some kind of silly attraction towards your stupidly handsome friend?

    You didn’t think so.

    “You don’t need to be so surprised… It’s not like I’m a criminal or something” You muttered, peeking at her for a split of a second before focusing on your hands once more “I think the fake kiss kinda… Awoke something? Like a tiny little spark or something… Nothing too important or any—“ You were just rambling at this point.

    “No!” She blurted, hands waving exaggeratedly in front of her body “I mean- Yes! I’m not… I mean… It’s not that I’m shocked, I’m just…” She floundered her hands around, trying to find the right words in her mind “I think it’s great!” She chortled “Oh my God… Yeah, I think it’s great! It’s great that you have a crush on him or something!” She chirped, and you couldn’t help but frown.

    “How is it great?” You asked warily “We’re literally just friends and he’s the hugest fuckboy we had ever met” You reminded her “There is nothing great in it… Actually, I think that’s the worst thought my brain had ever had” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

    “He’s not that bad!” She retorted eagerly “He’s actually really sweet!” She added quickly, trying to convince you as she patted your knee “I mean… He’s smart! Isn’t he? You guys are always arguing in class!” You arched your brow at the distorted way to boost him “He also has good grades! I know you like smart guys” She threw you an insistent look.

  Well… You were not so sure the attraction had much to do with his brains.

    “He’s also really funny! You’re always laughing at things he says!” She kept her monologue “He also likes the foods you like! He’s always spending time at the hot dog stand! He even knows your favorite food by now!” She was so excited at all this that it was almost like she was selling him to you “He has an amazing taste for TV shows! I can testify that” She smiled proudly “And he’s also interested in your things! He’s reading the books you like and everything!”

    Yeah… She kinda had a point, to be honest.

    “You said yourself that he had been flirting! So… I mean- It has to mean something, right?” She asked filled with hope, looking at you expectantly “He wouldn’t flirt with someone he doesn’t like! So to the very least, he likes you!” She clasped her hands together, excited.

    “He has been flirting with me even when we hated each other” You pointed out skeptically, and she groaned in frustration.

    “Okay! He’s a fuckboy, I get it! Flirting is what he does” She rolled her eyes, impatient “But he hasn’t been fucking anyone for a while! He has a crush on someone and he’s being really romantic about it!” She insisted, making your chortle.

    “Yeah… Because not fucking people around when you like someone is a great romantic gesture” You sneered “You sound too… Eager to make your point” You narrowed your eyes, tilting your head in suspicion “You’re not being the usual…” You cleared your throat to imitate her “I ship you guys so much!” You chirped mockingly, clapping your hands repeatedly in a short and rapid motion “You’re… Did he tell your something?” You asked curiously.

  “What are you talking about?!” She asked in a high-pitched tone, snorting in a too anxious way to be natural “It’s just that you’ve never shown interest in anyone before! I’m excited!” She dismissed your thought, waving her hand at you “I’ve been waiting for this! The day you would talk to me about boys and stuff like this!” She whined, and for a moment she really did sound sincere enough for you to believe her.

    “It doesn’t matter anyway” You shrugged “You said so yourself… He’s been crushing on someone” You pointed out, uncrossing your arms and returning your gaze to the TV “Also, it’s not like I want to fuck him… Too much trouble, right? I know he isn’t the type to attach… He wouldn’t risk our friendship just to get his dick wet” You reasoned.

    “What if he’s crushing on you?” She asked unsurely, glancing at you.

    “Yeah, right!” You just laughed it off, gesturing for her to hit the play.