#also the funny thing about having a brain tumor is i can now make jokes
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i know i'm not quite back to writing yet but i picked up tanking & jungling in League of Legends because i also really love tanking in FFXIV and who would've thought this'd be the hidden secret to me winning games
#« ooc tag. »#tanks my beloved....#this also just makes me want to make a blog for sejuani#because i've fallen in love with her lmao#anyway hi i might come back sooner to writing i just need to finish through dawntrail first methinks#also the funny thing about having a brain tumor is i can now make jokes#where i go; 'speaking of making my tumor worse; i'm gonna go play league of legends'#SDFLKJSLKJGHD#gets people e v e r y t i m e
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Hnnnghhhhh I should be drawing transformers …
BUT I LIKE THE ZOMBIE MAN.
HELLO I’m posting some ocs because recently I’ve gotten into a new rp server and it’s like one of those usual “oh kids go to highschool and they have powers and it’s alllllll monitored by the government” BUT they allow aliens too so it’s pretty neat
I brought in a TON of my old ocs who I used to use Back In The Day when I roleplayed on my hero academia roblox servers which HAS to be the most haunting, most horrible Experience of my entire life thus far. But basically I redrew a lot of my characters who I added to the new server im in and gave them a basic little sketch design and NOW im going to INTRODUCE THEM TO YOU
The girl in red is Fuji she is very mean and very manipulative and very evil and her ability is basically she can just glitch. Like it’s so funny the universe thinks she’s an error so she constantly like fades out of existence and stutters and lags and stuff but still remains. She can glitch through walls, lag and glitch other people, and even insert something like a trojan virus into others, where she can control them remotely, albeit she won’t have control of her own body while she controls them…. PRETTY COOL, pretty EVIL!
NEXT the weird SpongeBob looking thing is literally god. I’m not joking!!! In the lore of my own universes this guy, Sir Boxers (which, fun fact, had a close friend name him and it stuck perfectly!!!) is legitimately god he has the ability to warp reality and do legit whatever he wants. Ofc for the sake of the rp I have to tone down his power so we made this super crazy dramatic backstory that he was like the reigning but benevolent king of his dimension but then he got usurped by some evil force and sent into another world, trapped in a weaker, smaller vessel that can’t do as much as his other godly form, and he’s like trying to return to his dimension to restore order… it’s a funny thing LOL he’s just a joke character
Next is T-0FF-E3 of TOFFEE, and I HAVE DRAWN AND POSTED HIM BEFORE!!! I just didn’t like his design cuz he was too skrunkly so I bulked him up. I already talked about him but basically he was a regular dude and when his powers started showing up he just like mutated into a machine. Super nice, doesn’t know his strength, I love toffeee
Next is Liberty and I very Love Her!!! She’s a little bit of a mess because she’s both like a gym bro but also a cat girl so she’s pretty funny LMAOO she’s extremely competitive and almost aggressively supportive but also has the ability to turn things into weapons!!! As long as she can put both of her palms on something she can turn it into a weapon but that does NOT mean she can use it effectively, because a) the more elaborate the weapon, the more energy she needs to use on it to create it, b) the mass of whatever she makes the weapon on doesn’t change so if she makes like a weapon out of something heavy she might not be able to pick it up and c) she has NO EXPERTISE in any weaponry WHATSOEVER lol
Next is… Romeo 😍😍😍 he’s fucking disgusting! Little Zombie Boy “died” when he was an infant of like some sort of tumor in his brain but even though he was medically dead his body just persisted on its wild Basically his ability is he has full control over every single individual cell in his body and can use his his abilities to manipulate his flesh and stuff however he pleases and can just put himself back together if he’s torn apart. He’s like that trope where people talk abt bats and they’re like THE BATS ARE MORE SCARED OF YOU THAN YOU ARE OF THEM becuz Romeo lowkey is scared of everyone NOT socially inept but he just doesn’t like to interact and because of his strict upbringing
Next is Coronette and OKAY SHES ONE OF MY ALIENS Coronette was initially a part of a species I made for transformers where this group called the crixstaline were Cybertronian minicons that escaped to another planet, initially just to colonize it but then they sorta mutated with it… anyway Coronette is similar to that but I removed all of Cybertronian stuff from her stuff and made them just a species of PURE crystal theyre so cool they have their own language and like customs and stuff and UGH I might post their lore Bible one day it’s so cool anyway. Coronette is a princess from Crixstal, which is a planet that fell to foreign alien influences, and she hates earth and is stupid and dumb and wants to go home but doesn’t know WHY she can’t go home (planet was destroyed L BOZO) and she’s an iPad kid
TWO MORE second to last is CHIP and first of all I would like to say he is named after my dog and I have three ocs named after my dog two are named Chip Mooney and one is Chip Gebelhoff and the second Chip Mooney is based off Neil cicierega—
BUT ANYWAY this is the ORIGINAL CHIP other than my dog Chip used to wear red but I made him blue bcuz it fits him better and because I wanted a rainbow with my characters designs Anyway chip has the super power of onomatopoeia which means that when he says words like Pow or Boom they actually take affect in the world around him. This is disastrous and deadly and after he unintentionally nearly killed his father by activating his powers on accident, he has become mostly selective mute. He’s really guarded with how and when he talks and he’s JUST like those redditors who write like scripts of how they’re supposed to like interact and talk with people so he specifically doesn’t accidentally say a word that might trigger his power’s affects anyway he has my favorite ability
AND FINALLLLY we have Whizzer he’s a little guy the youngest oc of the line up. HES AWESOME he’s actually a remake of one of my OLDEST OCS EVER, who was an umbrella academy oc. Whizzer has a weird little astronaut bubble head not just to protect himself from anything, but to mostly protect others— FOR YOU SEE, whizzer’s ability is that his lungs are SO POWERFUL, if he breathes, he can basically desolate an environment of all of its oxygen and even take the oxygen out of other peoples lungs. He wears his little bubble so he doesn’t suffocate no one but also so he doesn’t breathe in nasty stuff like smog or bugs all of the time cuz that??? That would be bad.
ANYWAY. That’s my oc post have a wonderful day!!! Will blitz post soon❤️❤️❤️
#oc artwork#oc#original character#character design#superpowers#roleplay#I don’t know what to tag this as#original characters
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My Soulmates 1
Genre:Soulmate AU, fluff,angst, eventual smut
Pairing: Idol Jimin x Lawyer Reader x Idol Jungkook
Warnings: some swearing (Y/N has a trash mouth sometimes)
A/N: I’m so excited to bring you my story. I hope you all enjoy this first chapter.
Please read the teaser and prologue first if you haven’t already.
*********************************************************************
October 7, 2018 4:36pm
The boys had been practicing since 8am that morning with limited breaks, and were tired and hungry. They were all going to dinner and begin making their way to the elevator, laughing and joking with each other. Namjoon was deep in thought when the doors of the elevator opened and a woman came out barreling right into the midst of the group. Her head was down, and she seemed absorbed in something on the iPad she held in her hands when she must have realized what she had done. Namjoon heard her gasp and reach out towards Jimin and Jungkook and thought she might be trying to steady herself as they were reaching out to her as well. He couldn’t believe it when they all began collapsing on the floor, the other boys trying to catch them. He noticed that the three were still grasping onto each other, and a red ring began to encircle their ring fingers and travel up their arms. The other boys were staring at this as well and they looked at each other shaking their heads. All of them mumbled the same thing
...”Oh Shit!”
You felt warm and cocooned for some reason. It was so cozy and you didn’t want to wake up. Wait, when did I go home? Your thoughts were hazy and you were trying to figure out where you were. You tried to stretch and found yourself bumping into something hard. As you started groping around you realized that this was not your pillow at all but felt like a chest. A mans chest. You have never moved so fast as you just did sitting yourself up. “What the hell...!” You look and see you are on a bed with not one but two boys cuddled up around you. Fear immediately sets in as you look around the room and see sleeping figures on another bed and couch.
“What the fuck...!” You said out loud quickly slapping both your hand over your mouth so as not to awaken the men in the room. You are in bed with, and surrounded by BTS. They are the worlds most famous boy band. They are the Nations Treasures. THEY ARE YOUR CLIENTS!!! Your mind explodes right then and there. You think to yourself ’What Tumblr, A03, Wattpad fanfic did I just wake up in.’
‘OH MY GOD IM IN A COMA!!!! That has to be it. There cannot be any other explanation. I’m in a coma and I transported into some sucky ass wannabe Hallmark Movie’.
All you can think of is that you have some sort of brain tumor and have fallen into a life altering, dream fugue-like state and all your teenage and young adult fantasies are blending together therefore you have conjured up some poly bias delusional weirdness in yor muddled brain. This isn’t real...this isn’t real... this isn’t real....... You pinch yourself and...oh shit that hurt. You struggle to get off the bed which isn’t easy by any means when two pairs of arms AND legs keep trying to pull you back down. You debate screaming bloody murder when you hear someone speak.
“You’re awake”. You turned your head and saw someone sitting up rubbing his eyes looking at you. You recognized the leader of said boy band Namjoon from the many many posters around BigHit.
“I am” your voice sounding more calm than you felt. “Can you tell me where I am and why I’m here with all of you like some weird slumber party?” You we’re holding on the the last shreds of professionalism that you could before screaming to the high heavens.
“You don’t remember finding your soulmates” he asked?
“Excuse me, my what now?” You cocked your head like you didn’t hear him right. “What on earth are you going on about? Soulmate, I don’t have a soulmate.”
“Soulmates” he corrected. By now some of the other members were starting to wake up.
“I AM in a COMA”. You were starting to babble incoherently in a mix of Korean and English with some well placed Spanish swear words your mother used to use when you were little and she was mad. You we’re starting to panic and began trying to climb off the bed all the while the two boys on your bed were snoozing away like nothing was happening. You managed to fall off of the bed and skittered backwards like a crab til your back hit the wall. You slapped your cheeks willing yourself to wake up.
Namjoon looked next to him and asked “Jin can you call Yuna? I think she may be able to help out with...” he looked at you realizing he didn’t know your name. Jin got up and walked towards the window to call someone.
“Y/N. Sona Y/N.” I...I..I’m a temporary lawyer working at BigHit on some of your international contracts. I’d like to say nice to meet you but maybe when there’s a less murdery vibe and location.” You were quickly getting your bearings together and began to gather your composure. “Now can you please tell me why I’m here being cuddled to death by those thing one and thing two over there” you point towards the bed. Several giggles and laughs were heard at this. You on the other hand were not sure what was so funny.
A deep voice in the corner answered this time. “Well thing one and two as you called them, or as we like to call them Jimin and Jungkook are your soulmates “ he said matter-of-factly like it was everyday normal. “I’m Taehyung, you can call me Tae or Tae-Tae to piss them off if you want.” His big boxy grin made him look like a mischievous child You couldn’t help but give him a wary smile. Someone else, you think it was J-Hope came towards you and thrust forward a hand. You cautiously took it and he helped you up from the floor. You began dusting off your skirt and straightening your blouse internally thanking the almighty upstairs that you were still clothed while eying all of them suspiciously. “I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi if you want.”
Jin turned around after hanging up and offered you the only chair in the room. You quickly shuffled over sitting down and tried to ask again why you were here. In a bedroom, on a bed with your soulmates and their band mates all in the same room. “ Can someone please just tell me what happened?” Your voice staring to crack as you were close to tears. “This just feels too extrodinary to believe. You keep saying I have soulmates, as in plural. I didn’t even know that was possible.” It was then that you looked at your left hand and saw the red string tatoo. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME....Did I have a stroke? How...what...why...” your words became so jumbled you weren’t making any sense and you were pretty sure a panic attack was just a moment away from tackling your neurotic ass into submission. Jin kneeled in front of you telling you to breathe. “ In through the nose....out through the mouth Y/N. You can do it just breathe in and out, in and out...that’s it, you got it, in...out.” You sat there holding his hands while Tae began rubbing your back in circles as they were trying their best to calm you down. Jin explained to you that he also has a soulmate named Yuna and she is ready to come talk to you about what being attached to an idol can be like.
Across the room you heard a groggy voice “Uugghhhh....get off me Jungkookah. Why are we in bed? What happened” could be heard from the bed you just left. Jimin was sitting up while shoving Jungkook off of him and staring around the room. Jungkook fell off the bed. He jumped up and was getting ready to tackle his hyung who knocked him down when his eyes landed on you. He was confused as to why a woman, a very pretty woman, but a woman nonetheless was sitting in their studio bedroom at BigHit, surrounded by four of his hyungs. “Um, hello” he said quietly making Jimin look in the same direction. Eyes got wide when he also said a quiet hello and then proceeded to ask Namjoon “ What’s going on. Who is she and why are we all in here. I thought we were going to dinner?”
“See, I’m not the only one confused” you exclaimed louder and much squeakier than you meant. “Apparently we are soulmates” you say while gesturing to the both of them and yourself. “Surprise “ you say throwing up jazz hands and beginning to laugh at the outrageous looks on both of their faces.
“Who, who is your soulmate?” They both say at the same time.
Namjoon looks at you knowing you are barely holding on at the moment and answers for you. “All three of you are soulmates”.
They stare at each other then at you then at the group and both start laughing. “Ok ok, good joke hyung, stop playing around. Did you knock us out and this is a mystery mission? “ “Are we on a run BTS episode we didn’t know was being filmed?” They took turns asking like this was a prank or something.
When they see no one other than you are deadly serious they stop and start to freak out as well. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” They look at each other only to both shout out that they couldn’t be soulmates. Why is it just happening now after knowing each other all these years. Brothers yes, soulmates no. NOPE. NO WAY, WHAT THE FUCK.
You get up and walk over to them. You grab both of their left hands and show them the tattoos. You peek inside your shirt and confirm you have the soulmates date above your heart, and tell them to check their chests as well. You strangely feel calm being around the two of them and less like a victim of some K-Pop Serial Killer drama that you stepped into, and you realize they also both settle down while you’re holding onto them.
Namjoon gets up and begins to explain that though it’s rare, there are known cases of multiple soulmates. They are harder to find because all of the mates must be together for their souls to connect. Once they do connect though the bond is stronger than a normal soulmates bond and can come with difficulties due to the relationship aspect of it. Prejudice often follows a poly soulmate connection due to the narrow mindedness of society and can often be looked down on. He tells the three of you that you should tell management right away so they can have a plan in place. Fans aren’t always supportive of their bias’s soulmates, and Y/N having two of the most popular idols in Korea as hers are going to come with challenges. Especially with you being a foreigner.
You three look at each other and back at Namjoon, silently agreeing to these terms. He also suggests you three need time together alone to get to know about each other because you all three had different lives leading up to today, and it would be best to figure out where you all should go from here. Other people’s feelings and relationships are going to be affected by what has happened and you all needed to be prepared for any backlash.
“Ok, now that this is all settled can we please get some dinner?” You hear from the other bed where apparently Yoongi has been napping throughout all the mental breakdowns.
To be continued...
Taglist: @mrcleanheichou @itsminniekat @dreamescapeswriting @seaoffangirling @4evahevah @sonderkook @bisexualmess007 @chxustuff @aviwasabi21 @skyys-universe @ally22042000 @ramblingsofawolfgirl
#jimin#jungkook#bts jimin#bts jungguk#bts#jikook#jeon jungkook#park jimin#jungkook x reader#jimin x reader#poly bts x reader#poly bts#bts imagine#bts x soulmate#bts x reader#jikook are my soulmates#bts soulmate au#bts soulmates#jimin soulmate au#jungkook soulmate au
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☔︎ Sayuri
✞ synopsis: Aone thought your life with him was supposed to be long and happy, but all good things must come to an end right?.....
✞ pairing: Aone x fem! reader
✞genre: angst :(
✞ warnings: character death! mentions of v*miting, pregnancy and health conditions
The look on everyone's face when Aone proposed to you was to die for. Within the crowd there were surprised team players of the VC Date team along with elated coworkers from the construction firm that Aone invited. Oh, failed to mention that Aone proposed during one of his volleyball games. Soon you would be (Y/N) Aone, married to Takanobu Aone. Dating for the past six years, Aone was the best partner you could ask for. He never left your side, even accepted you with you and your past. When he met your parents, Aone told your father a trick to keep his plants from freezing during the harsh winters from Japan, since that day, your father began referring to Aone as “son”. Five years later, Aone was sitting on his soon to be in-laws couch, asking for your hand. Your parents understood how amazing Takanobu was, they knew he would never leave your side and always protect you.
“What theme should we have for our wedding?” Aone blurted out one day while dinner was steaming on the stove. “Already thinking about themes huh?” the way you looked at him, wearing his shirt while you made your way to the stove. If it were up to him, Aone would marry you in that very kitchen. The kitchen was where there were so many memories waiting to be made. “A turtle theme would be nice” you jokingly said. Aone started to lightly tap his chin, considering the theme. “Babe, I’m joking,” you said giggling. “oh” Aone said, in his little voice. “(y/n), can I ask you something?” Aone asked, playing with the strings of his shirt. You gave him a quick nod as you continued cooking dinner. “Can we get a turtle?” he said, a soft blush appearing on his face. Putting down what you had, you walked over and cupped his face. “Is it going to be our first child?” replying with the biggest smile on your face. The blush on his face matched the red shirt he was wearing. His brain was going wild, his dream was always to have a family with you. Kissing his forehead, you replied, “We can go tomorrow to the pet store”
The headaches began around a month after the proposal. You thought it was the stress of planning your perfect wedding. Aone noticed you were hurting when you did not accompany him to feed Kame, your turtle. He did not open the curtains like he usually did, nor did he give you a forehead kiss in fear that he will cause more pain. He started brewing tea and gave you some medicine. He let you stay in bed that day, and the day after that, also the whole week. Aone was worried sick, he knew stress caused headaches but every single day? His mother reassured him that the stress of working, trying to plan a wedding but also being there for Aone was a lot and that he should pamper her. Aone cleaned the whole house that afternoon, he even cooked your favorite dinner. It was supposed to be a perfect night, but you came home with a pale look on your face. The mere smell of the food made you run to the bathroom. Anything you ate that day came out of you as you hunched over the toilet. Aone held your hair back, softly rubbing your back. After emptying your stomach, you leaned into Aone’s touch. You needed him, his support, his love. As you slowly fell asleep on his lap, one thing ran through Aone’s mind, what if you were pregnant? You two were sexually active, plus it would explain the nausea and headaches. His mind was going wild once again, Kame finally will not be your own child anymore.
“hey honey, can I ask something?” Aone whispered into your ear as he massaged your head, a common occurrence in the morning. You hummed an answer. “do you possibly think you could be pregnant?”. The question lingered in your mind. Could you? It would make sense. After taking some medicine, you booked an appointment to the doctor. With Aone next to you, you knew you would be ok. The days leading up the appointment felt like forever. You were still with nausea and headaches, but you were excited to find out if a mini Aone was formed in your stomach. Finally, the day arrived. Aone was nervous next to you, you felt his handshake as he held yours. “Baby, you are more worried than me” you said giggling at him, “I just want you to be ok” he replied. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N)” The nurse called. “Wait here ok?” you reassured him before entering the hallway. After many tubes of blood later, the doctor asked you to come back when the results were done.
A week later, Aone and you were waiting for the doctor in his office. All Aone wanted to hear that you were pregnant so his worries can subside. The doctor entered with a gloomy face. “Unfortunately, the blood test we did let us know that you weren’t pregnant but there is something more concerning” the doctor stated. The grip Aone’s hand on you faded away, at this point he did not care if you were not pregnant. He wanted you to be ok. “What’s more concerning?” Aone asked the doctor. “ We see some hormones that are way higher than they are supposed to be, we only see these types of numbers when a tumor is present near the pituitary gland, we would like to do more studies to confirm our suspicions” Tumor was the only word in your mind. You could have a tumor. The doctor requested more blood work, and scans. The weeks following, many of your symptoms began to worsen. Your vision began to blur, migraines began more and more frequent, even had a seizure. Aone was terrified, but even with fear, he never left your side. He held you every time you felt weak, he spoons fed you soup his mother taught him to make. The wedding was postponed until you felt better but you told Aone that both of you should get married legally before having any celebration just in case anything happened. “Nothing is going to happen (y/n), you and I will get through this ok?”
You seemed to get worse. You had to be admitted to the hospital due to your condition. After many more scans, it was revealed that the tumor in your brain was a mere 5 centimeters long. Despite being so small, it caused you excruciating pain. The physical pain you felt was nothing compared to the news you received two weeks later. “We have extremely bad news” the group of doctors who had been treating you said. “The tumor located inside your brain is too dangerous to live with, it cannot be surgically removed” Your sobs could be heard from across the hallway. Aone tried to calm you down, he held you so close to him, he could not lose you. Your sobs subsided when the doctor cleared his throat “That is not all”. “It’s not your fault that you didn’t notice since pregnancy symptoms are similar to your symptoms but you’re roughly two weeks pregnant.” The room had an eerie silence to it. The pain inside of you was so immense that crying was not an option anymore. “You have to do something! She cannot live like this! What about the baby?” Aone practically yelled at the doctors. Despite knowing him for 5+ years, you had never heard him yell. “Baby, shh, its fine. They did what they could” You said, trying to calm Aone down. “B-but” Aone was choking on his own sobs. Now it was you holding Aone. The doctors made it aware that the last weeks of your life should be spent at home, with your Fiancé. The baby would not survive much longer, therefore the both of you should cherish the small amount of time you had.
The following weeks were filled with smiles and pain. You were getting paler, weaker. Aone could see life leaving you as the days progressed. He saw how tired you were, each day you got more and more tired. You could barely walk over and see Kame anymore. Aone resulted into bringing him inside for you. Kame specifically liked when your soft blankets covers his shard shell, Aone loved seeing you two sleep with one another, well three. Aone remained strong for you. When you would sleep, he sat near you, crying. The love of his life, the one who was supposed to be there for him through it all, was dying. He felt that he could not keep his promise to protect you. You nor his child. He got into bed next to you and Kame, wishing you a beautiful night. That morning was like any other, except it was Kame who nudged him to wake up. He groggily got out of bed to make your tea for your medication. Something felt off to him. Usually you nudge him to wake him up. He ran towards your shared bedroom, turning on the lights. He knew you would kill him if he did but he needed to know your awake. Despite the bright light shining in the room, you were silent. Kame on the other hand was making an array of noises. He walked towards you, tears threatening to fall. “Baby?” he whispered. He fell to his knees. He felt weak, he felt empty. Aone began to shake you, trying desperately to wake you. “(Y/N) this isn't funny, wake up” Aone shook you one last time, before screaming into the bed. He ran to dial an ambulance. The paramedics looked at Aone with sorry eyes, he knew what those eyes meant. “Take her to the hospital now” Aone said, growing at them. “ Sir-”... “I SAID TAKE HER”.
The doctor who was treating you slowly sat next to Aone in the waiting room. “She was strong” Like you a couple weeks ago, the pain Aone felt didn’t allow him to cry. “I know that nothing is visible yet but here” The doctor handed Aone an ultrasound picture. “The baby is too small to see yet but they’re there. No matter how much it hurts, know that they will both be there, forever.” The doctor gave Aone one last hug goodbye, before walking back to the hallway you once entered through. Aone stood outside the door of your shared house. How could he enter without you? How could he ever live without you? His thoughts were erased when he felt something hit his leg. Looking down, he saw Kame rubbing his head on his leg. Slowly picking up Kame, he headed inside. Sitting on the couch with Kame, he showed the turtle the ultrasound. “This is your sibling Kame, I’m not sure what gender they were but this is Sayuri, my small lily”
a.n: NOT ME CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY AT THIS. also I wanna thank @nuttymouthful for this idea! It was originally an reincarnation au! but I got lost at the end :( so I closed it with a bittersweet (?) ending. Reader was supposed to reincarnate as Kame but idk kame is a himbo turtle but that’s ok. PLZ REQUEST MORE ANGST I LOVE THIS
tags: @elianetsantana @girlofdystopia @kara-grayson04
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#hq#hq x reader#haikyuu angst#angst#aone takanobu x reader#aone#aone takanobu#aone angst#Aone Takanobu angst#aone x reader#plz i love aone#aone x y/n#aone x you#plz forgive me aone#PLZ I CANT STOP CRYIN G
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in regards to what you pointed out a few posts ago, ngl one of my least favorite fandom things is when they make Kaminari the Har Har Stupid Joking ADHD Bi Playboy Who Is Never Serious Trope. like, he's very smart, 'worst in ___ area of a UA course' is very impressive and I don't remember if it even said that or just that he was studying with some other students, worried about his grades overall, calls himself stupid with implied insecurities about it, and didn't think he was very smart compared to the other people in the course. quirk overuse makes him loopy, incoherent, and think everything's funny. and yeah, he's a bit of a flirt and made a few perverted comments and actions that he clearly didn't think through that well. I'm pretty sure he's not ever stated to be bi in the manga because it was written by a coward, so I think people should think more about why they're associating and pairing together the idea of "hot flirty playboy who if legally able would sleep with everyone he meets" with emphasis or joke in the captions of whatever the content is on him being bi. I don't think this is inherently bad, even put together, but the execution feels kind of :/ and shallow. and I mainly just wish they'd pause to consider if there's any reason (subconscious or intentional) why one of those makes them think about the other, and at the very least lean back to see if they're blatantly making those traits centric around each other and tweak how they're showing them a little. Part of this is also because it's basically his fanon sexuality, but then they stick together "oh he's bi and everyone thinks that" and "he's made flirty or perverted comments and actions in canon at some point" and then mentally exaggerate and have this Canon Image of him as *waves hand at above* and I don't think that's happening consciously in most cases but. again. Cookiecutter Bi Party Playboy Who's Made a Date Offer to Everyone In The Building. not a flirty Person or a Playboy who is bi and flirts with more than one genders
I myself headcanon him as adhd and while the exact sexuality depends on my mood I think of/have him as bi in a lot of my content, but it's the same thing with why non adhd people see how he acts and label "adhd!" Especially about comprehension speed and derpy acting and intelligence and attention span jokes/tropes. Again, not bad in and of itself, but the specific parts of his behavior that make them think he's adhd, or that they start making jokes about or Ha Ha ADHD'ing, or that they think is why we project ADHD on him, (which they aren't necessarily wrong about, but like right in a really disrespectful look at how funny this is oh look squirrel way that's only funny when adhd people are doing it and it isn't all mocking like that) when they see other people calling him adhd, are the wrong ones, I think, and it shows in their characterization of him.
I'm not saying that any of those traits are bad in a character, but as a queer adhd girl with very high annual test scores and Gifted Kid Intelligence but extremely poor grades, focus, and brain damage (admittedly nothing like his, it was a longterm passive thing that mainly just made me have a Lot of Really Bad headaches, and closest thing it did to me was make me sluggish and emotional on bad days and also techincally have the potential kill my language bit if left untreated or the surgery messed up, which it didn't, and it won't be a problem again. but even after explaining that it wasn't cancer or any sort of tumor, and after seeing it do very little at all to affect my behavior outside of irritability and performance, because y'know, constant migraines, gone after the surgery but this was before that, Certain People I Was Vaguely Kind Of Acquaintances With started to treat my like I was a fragile glass thing going to to drop dead and revive myself speaking like a comic relief cartoon crazy person at any moment which was. patronizing.) I've since had surgery for, the way the fandom combines them into stereotypes and portrays them really just rubs me the wrong way- "Flirty Bi(tm) Playboy" "Har Har ADHD Can't Focus Or Get Things After They're Explained To Him, He's Still Confused And An Idiot" "Stupid Person With Brain Damage Who Can't Take Care Of Or Think For Themself And Acts Stupid And Funny For People To Laugh At" which tbh is super ableist even and especially when people irl do fit that description, and also reminds me of the Autistic Person Freaking Out And Being Dramatic sense of humor. And I know it's not helped by canon, because it done for comic relief and to limit his powers, but explored more I think it as a limitation could have been used way more interestingly than canon did and also call me biased but that quirk induced brain frying sounds at least as concerning as Izuku's quirk's backlash.
And it's a shame!! Because he's so much more interesting than that! Instead, the fandom gives me the Cookicutter Funny Bi ADHD Flirt Who's An Idiot and I am sad about it.
tbh it reminds me of what happened to percy jackson, esp with the ADHD Idiot Trope thing. which sucks because apparently it originated in the author making up stories around characters like his adhd and dyslexic kid inspired by Greek myths to tell him after running out of actual myths because it was his special interest and he wanted more. and then the series got kind of all over the place and the fandom processed that the adhd and dyslexic main character who does dumb things sometimes but is very combat smart and great at strategizing and leading gets bad grades and has trouble focusing and has, y'know, adhd, and made him the ADHD Idiot and erased his Gifted Kid girl friend's traits and ADHD and dyslexia into No Nonsense Calls Him an Idiot And Thinks He's Stupid And Has To Tell Him What To Do And Manage His Life For Him and honestly that just kind of sucks and it reminds me of what happened to fandom Kaminari. and now that I think of it people have jirou like that around him a lot too.
im fine with you answering this publicly if you want or have something to add but probably tag as ableism and maybe a biphobia mention content warning for people who don't have the energy to deal with thinking about those kinds of negative things rn because I kind of Went Off About It
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences 💚(and double thank you for tag suggestions)💚
I couldn’t agree more that a lot of fandom has messed up Kami’s character, which is why I’ve kinda been posting more about him cause he’s just stuck in my head.
I think a lot of fandoms have trouble with characters like this, people have a hard time with duality in characters and fast/fun posts are easier to make if you flatten a character down.
The did it to Kami, they did it to Percy, they did it to Ron Weasley, they do it to Thor, the list goes on. If being the Smart One ™️ isn’t your thing and you can be goofy than you get pigeonholed into the idiot trope.
I feel for Kami a lot(probably because I have adhd/brain damage too)
It sucks when you’re smart but it’s not the traditional, measurable kind of smart(even if by national comparison Kami technically is).
I got terrible grades growing up, and I pretty much got the absolute lowest gpa you can get and still graduate. But absolutely no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, because I’m not dumb.
(It’s okay if you are “dumb”, I love me a head empty just vibes friend. You’re 100% valid, stil worthy of joining discussions, and should be listened to and taken seriously. This just isn’t about that tho)
I joke sometimes that I’m clever and witty but not smart, because that’s exactly what it feels like.
I have lots of thoughts and ideas that I think I articulate pretty well, I am excellent at finding the humor in things and expressing it in a way that’s funny to others too, and there is almost zero problems I can’t find a work around. And the people in my life love it, and they love to use it.
But eventually everyone in my life finds out that I’m not smart. They see the way I have to pause to Google how to calculate a tip, that I don’t know the name of all 50 states or even where to find them on a map, or I legitimately just can not spell (if you ever see a post where it looks like I used a weird word choice it’s probably because I tried 4 times and autocorrect+Google couldn’t help me and voice to text wasn’t an option)
No one ever questions my intelligence until they find out about my adhd and/or catch me struggling with it. After the mask comes off it’s like they can’t even hear me anymore, nothing I say could be true or matter because I’m now just the goofy accident prone spacy girl. My family literally calls me Spacy
And ya know what sometimes I just let people think that because it’s easier, it’s easier than explaining that I’m dyslexic and that I didn’t have a single geography/history clas until 10th grade and shocker the capital of Iowa doesn’t come up much by then. And it’s easier for me to laugh off losing my keys again than dwell on the fact that sometimes it feels like I’m losing my marbles.
And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if after this post I get a lot more “fact checkers” and push back on anything else I post.(not talking about people who want to genuinely engage,y’all are always welcome, I’m talking those people who don’t wanna look it up themselves but no longer trust me to know what I’m talking about)
Kami is a sweet brilliant boy. He’s in a nationally high ranking school, he loves the weather channel, he’s careful about his quirk that could easily hurt his friends in combat, he has a very high emotional intelligence level, he wears dorky shirts with electricity puns on them, and he pays attention to his friends and remembers a lot of little things about them.
He wants to be a hero and he takes that seriously, and the series has tried time and time again to tell y’all that smiling and laughter are an important part of that. Kami excels at this part! So what if his history grades don’t rival the top of the class, the top 5 students would struggle hard to do what Kami does.
Iida can’t relax, Momos rather shy, Todo struggles with social cues, Midoriya is canonically not funny, and jfc where to even begin with Katsuki. I’m certain they’ll all grow up to be excellent heros in their own right, but none of them are going to bring the level of joy and camaraderie that Denki can. You can’t test that into someone.
Kami also just notices people differently and has any easy way of joining in with them, he doesn’t struggle approaching Katsuki or Shinso. Sure he doesn’t hit the the nail on the head the same way Deku does but he’s the only one who has the guts and skills to try. Also he’s not that kinda friend, he’s not looking to a save these guys but pal around with them
I think Kami 100% realizes what a special case and tough nut to crack Bakugo is, I don’t think he’s just careless or too dumb realize his life’s at stake or whatever.
I think he’s purposely testing Bakugos boundaries all while trying to not be a threat to Katsukis actual ego and calling Bakugo out when he needs it in a way that not to serious. Kami knows how to be just goofy enough that he’s approachable. He’s also keyed in that the way to Bakugo is through Deku, meanwhile everyone else is stuck believing the opposite.
Kami also realized how important music is to Jiro and saw an opportunity to let her display her skills and combin the two worlds she lives, and he wasn’t afraid to get some back lash from her for it.
Like Deku Kami isn’t afraid to be uncomfortable. You really can’t teach that level of social ease, you can teach the posture and feed people a couple of lines but it’ll never hit the same. Funny approachable people have spent a lifetime learning the craft, usually out of necessity.
It’s actually what gives me the biggest adhd vibes from him, because adhd is (speculated to be) a dopamine deficiency disorder. People with adhd are constantly trying to raise their dopamine levels, and that means looking for praise and reward and nothing makes the human brain light up faster than postative human connections.
Adhd children struggle a lot with connecting with peers and often find making people laugh a fast way into people’s circles and makes it more likely people will overlook being interrupted or spaced out on.
Also adhd people are pretty much forced by their own brain structures to be genuine in all they do, low dopamine levels make it very hard to do things you don’t enjoy because there no promise of dopamine from the activity and you don’t have enough to spare, plus impulsiveness makes it really hard to not show when you do or don’t enjoy something.
I agree that Kami is also painted as overly perverted at times, he’s a little flirty but in a fun casual way but it’s not the foundation of his personality and it’s really mellowed out over the course of the series.
And while I subscribe to the bi hc from his interactions with Jiro and Shinso, we should all be very mindful that we don’t lump these characteristics together. The are separate facets of his personality that are not dependent on each other in anyway.
Kami deserves all the respect and love, I can’t wait to see our electric king again 🖤⚡️🖤
#tw ableism#ableism#tw biphobia#biphobia#softy answers#I have a sorta sad one shot about Kami and his quirks effects#should i post it?
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February Picks
And just like that another month is coming to a close. I can’t believe how fast it has gone by. I’ve continued watching some favorites from last month and am sad some have come to an end. Meanwhile a bunch of shows came back from their winter hiatus, so it was a lot of fun getting back into their story-lines again.
Be prepared for spoilers once again...
SANDITON
Masterpiece’s Sanditon ended this past Sunday, here in the states, and I am jumping on the campaign that we need a season 2! It can’t end like that with so many open ended story-lines (okay maybe just one or two, but still we deserve more).
Who would have guessed that Esther would become one of my favorite characters in this series and that’s mainly thanks to her well written character development. From the “villain” in episode 1 she grew into so much more and was such a complex character. I really enjoyed watching her story unfold. I am SO HAPPY she married Babington and his speech to her about living side by side, knowing he loves her more and just wants to see her happy. Wow....Goals. I want to see this relationship progress even more (if that’s possible) with a season 2. Speaking of things I want to see: Will Sanditon be rebuilt and how long will it take? Will there be an alternative allowing Sidney to be with Charlotte? Major twist there as their relationship doesn’t end with a happily ever after (very un-Austen like for the main protagonists). When he returned at the end stopping Charlotte’s carriage, I seriously thought he would have said he broke up his engagement, but alas. The previous episode I really wanted them together (thanks to Sidney’s speech to Charlotte when he told her his ex-fiance left and how Charlotte makes him a better person *melts* and of course their dancing scene the episode prior was amazing). In the early parts of the season, while I knew Charlotte and Sidney would be a thing-eventually, I couldn’t help but have a soft spot for Young Stringer’s character and my appreciation never truly left. I felt he was paired well with Charlotte. Such a tragic ending for him. He wanted to better himself (much like the Parker brothers) but after his father’s death he no longer will. Throughout the series, I enjoyed Miss Lambe’s character, but I agree with many reviews that I was reading that her character was kind of dropped at the end. I’m curious what her reaction will be when she finds out about SIdney’s engagement...
Thank you again, Andrew Davies. I was not expecting to like this adaptation so much.
ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST
The best way to describe one of NBC’s latest shows is that I feel happy and in a good mood whenever I finish an episode. (And then I’m immediately upset that I have to wait a week for the next one. I watch them too fast.) I’ve heard many people compare it to Glee and while I could definitely understand that I keep getting drawn back to Abc’s short lived Eli Stone. There Eli (played by Jonny Lee Miller) could hear people around him sing and dance, which helped him solve upcoming law cases. In this show he was experiencing a brain tumor, but so far Zoey seems all clear. Instead, a freak accident while she is getting an MRI scan and listening to music, allows for her to hear people sing (and perform) their innermost feelings. There’s still some logistics to discover like what Zoey looks like when she watches these performances (does she move around or look like she’s just staring into the air. I might be thinking into this too much...I know). We just recently found out that sometimes she can speak to others as they are happening. Each time she hears someone sing she is meant to help them with something in their life. It could be a family member, co worker, friend, or like this past week her boss. While there’s one major problem (that she has to fix), there are often multiple songs in one episode which I really enjoy. The cast is also very strong, both musically and as actors. I can’t wait to see where the rest of the season is headed!
TO ALL THE BOYS P.S. I STILL LOVE YOU
When the first film was released on Netflix about 2 years ago, I was instantly a fan. I was unfamiliar with the book, but quickly added to my TBR list. (My to read list is extremely long, so I still haven’t gotten to it. Story of my life.) I really enjoyed watching Lara Jean experience the results of having her secretive love letters distributed to her past crushes. I was definitely Team Peter and Lara by the end of the film. They were adorable. The sequel was released earlier this month and I kind of forgot about it. It felt like we had been preparing for the sequel for a bit and then I must have been watching too much Disney Plus to miss the trailer. Watching P.S. I still love you, I just missed the original film. There were parts I liked and I was a big fan of John Ambrose (and of course Jordan Fisher because he’s great), but overall I felt like much didn’t happen. Also, Lara and Peter’s relationship kind of bothered me in parts. I understand that for both of them this was the first time they were in this kind of relationship and could feel awkward about certain things (like the Valentine’s singing-gram or writing an original poem). The main part I did like about them was towards the end when he arrived at the retirement home. I don’t say this often, but I have no want to re-watch it any time soon.
VIOLETTA SEASON 1
Speaking of Disney Plus....
In a quick month and a half I have successfully watched ALL 80 episodes of season 1 of Violetta. I feel so accomplished and know the withdrawal will happen very soon. (I just finished last night and I’ve been listening to the music a lot recently). I’m so upset that season 2 has not be released on Disney Plus yet. I thought it would be by now because the streaming service has been up for a good amount of months and this show was so popular around the world. Unfortunately, I have not been lucky with my Google searches for when they’ll release it and no luck with YouTube either (no English caption options). I’ve been hearing that season 2 is really great because season 1 did a nice job of establishing these characters and now we get to see more story-lines. I will miss the students and teachers at the Studio as well the home-life at the Castillo’s house. Throughout 80 episodes it’s understandable to love and hate several characters as you’re with them for a good amount of time. For some people it was a roller coaster, but there were a good amount that I liked pretty consistently. I am a fan of Violetta and Leon and they had some super cute moments. I think it was about episode 35 where I truly felt like connection. When Tomas left the love triangle for a bit I actually grew to like him and would often joke how he never smiled and had a Tomas face. I really liked You Mix and the introduction of Frederico. Some great songs came out of that section like Ven y Canta and Tienes el Talento, but my favorite is definitely Ser Mejor. And of course, I will always have love for Pablo. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m going to miss reading subtitles (I really do feel like I know more Spanish now). Definitely check out this show if you want something drama filled and funny at the same time.
LEGACIES
I know I dedicated a whole post to Chris Wood’s return as Kai Parker on Legacies. (See the article here:https://talesofafangirlwithadvr.tumblr.com/post/190761328673/omg-legacies-2x12) But I still had to include it in this wrap up because once again Legacies is doing a great job this season. I was so excited to see it when it came back from the mid-season hiatus. Since the return of Wood it has gotten more of a TVD vibe than usual, which is great. I haven’t watched the last episode, but have seen a clip of Kai masquerading at the school. I am going to be very interested to see for how long he hangs around and how long it takes for them to discover him AND how Josie handles the evil inside of her.
BROOKLYN NINE NINE
Thank goodness this show got renewed (and picked up from NBC). When it started a couple of weeks ago, I was reminded how much I missed it. I can’t get over that this is already the second season on NBC. As usual the hi-jinks of the Nine Nine have been entertaining to watch. The Jimmy Jab games were great. I loved how Hitchcock was so desperate to win that he was taking Scully’s array of pills. What an ending with Debbie! Did not think she could be capable of that. I can’t wait to see the outcome next episode. I’m so excited for a Santiago-Peralta baby. It was a great episode when they were hiding it from Charles and Adrian returned. I’ve seen the movie Memento and it is great! It was hilarious each time he was like, ‘I don’t know what that is’ and then saying ‘Finding Dory’ solved everything. I am so happy that this show was suggested for me to watch and fill my Office and Parks and Rec void. Whenever a new episode’s on the DVR I can’t wait to watch it.
LEGENDS OF TOMORROW
And last, but certainly not least, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow has once again not disappointed me this season (I know it’s still early, but I’m optimistic). It started at the end of January following the events of Crisis and I liked how this season transitioned with all the changes (the major one being the introduction of Zari’s brother). I am really happy to see her again though and how she is having these flashes of her old life on board the Wave-rider. I can’t wait to see that reveal happen (especially because as of right now only Nate knows the ‘truth’). I love seeing Ava as a permanent part of the Legends crew and as stepping in as Captain when Sara was away. She is a great addition and I like how quirky she is since we first met her. Her and Sara are perfect. I also love Ray and Nora. Nora as a fairy godmother is fantastic. One of my favorite episodes was the one with the 80s dance. Her role in all of that was great and her realization with what she can provide for these kids. I feel like this is going to be the reason Ray leaves the Legends. I remember seeing Brandon Routh’s Instagram Post about leaving the show and this feels like the reason he will. I hope that isn’t for a while though because I am going to miss him a lot.
Until March!
#sanditon#masterpiece sanditon#sidney parker#charlotte heywood#sidney x charlotte#esther denham#esther x babington#renew sanditon#zoey's extraordinary playlist#team simon or team max#to all the boys ps i love you#lara jean#disney’s violetta#violetta season 1#we want season 2 disney plus#violetta season 2#Legacies#legacies season 2#kai parker is back#brooklyn nine nine#jake x amy#dc legends of tomorrow
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Chapter 26: Jake* Part Four
Starting to go Sour.
He blows me off for a couple of days, he’s feeling crappy. Regardless, we are still texting each other throughout the day about this and that, and I am continuously checking on him. Trying to be upbeat or at least funny about it. He has a dark sense of humor and has joked about probably having a tumor, as he does later say he has to see a doctor at some point to make sure he isn’t having, as he said, a “brain stem problem.”
One can assume his boos are his own dogs, but for a second I thought he was talking about me and my dog. We continue to talk, I try to figure out when I will see him again. I’m just a bit attached.
He gives me more details the next day about more health issues. He now has to have his wisdom teeth taken out.
I ask him why he thinks I won’t like him anymore, asking if it’s because he will be grumpy. Seeing as the current pain medicine makes him disgruntled and non-communicative, this is why I assume that that would be his expectations. He says that is why.
Although we chat every day, it isn’t until Friday, when I finally have a day off work that he subtly asks me to come over. That is, he asks if I am working, which is an indicator that he wants to spend time together. I have a couple of errands to run, but I tell him I will come over after that. I beat him to his place and had to wait for him in the driveway. I was hanging out with a friend that night for dinner, so I was going to hang out until more or less my friend was ready to hang out.
Jake* excuses himself to the bathroom, rather, he tells me rather explicitly he needs to go take a shit. I’m sitting on the couch waiting for him to be done, he’s taking a bit. My friend texts me and says she is ready so I need to go. I give him another minute or so and when he doesn’t emerge, I say I gotta go, but he doesn’t hear me. I text him “Byeee” instead and he yells out “BYE!” from the bathroom. As I leave, I send him a kiss emoji and say that I wouldn't kiss him goodbye on the toilet, to which he responds “smart.” We talk just a little the rest of the night, as he too is over at a friend’s house.
The next day, I am going to the beach with Ethan*, as I still owe him taking photos for his dating profile(s). Jake* more or less wants me to bail, not because of the history with Ethan*, but he wants to spend time with me instead. He has a couple of friends sleeping on his couch, so despite me saying I could come to see him before and after the beach, he says no since they’re still sleeping. While I’m on the way to his from dropping Ethan* back home, Jake* tells me that he wouldn’t be available now until 5 pm. This is a little irritating given I bumped up my beach trip so I could spend more time with Jake*, but I am understanding.
While I am driving, I have Apple Carplay, so Siri is reading me the texts. He does some dirty talk, and I ask him if he’s doing it on purpose because he knows I’m using Siri to text. He then just gets silly.
Honestly, though, this is the kind of energy I’m looking for in relationships. Just good fun. I get home and take a shower, he arrives maybe half an hour before 5. I don’t remember what happened that night.
In the early morning, this is Sunday now, we have a direct conversation.
He must have been over very briefly because I sent him a text a couple of hours later, but only said two things, got a short answer back, and I gave a one-word text back to that one-word text. Four hours after that, I let him know I was playing Among Us. He is much more involved in this conversation and asks a lot of questions and asks for me to show him how to play. I say I will show him, but I never get a chance to. We then get into a conversation about Nintendo Switch. He says he wants to get one. I let him know I just bought one.
The prime word here, I think, is “we.” This for whatever reason is a woah moment for me. He is talking about a “we.” This moment, mixed with how things start to go in the not too distant future from here, utterly confuses me, as, at this time, he is using specific language indicating he sees a future. A “we should” do this or that, indicates it is for us both. A lot of planning goes into the games we are going to buy as well, where to look, etc.
I’ve also mentioned a few times with him that I would like our dogs all to meet, mostly so that theoretically in the future we could not leave our dogs alone and just have them together when we are staying the night, etc. I am surprised to still be getting tepid responses.
The next day, we are hardly talking. I am making efforts, but not getting much back. He has had more dental work and is taking a lot of naps. I am starting to go back to trivia nights with friends, and I invite him to join us.
He responds “yeah true.” The trivia ends up being canceled because of the World Series while my friends and I are there but I hang out anyway. I mention Jake* to this group of friends for the first time, as I haven’t seen them since he and I started talking. My friend says him not wanting to come to trivia is a red flag, I become a little defensive at the moment, though in the end, I tell her she was right after things ended.
Since there is a stolen base at the world series that night, Jake* tells me that Taco Bell is gonna have free Doritos Locos Taco. This turns into him saying he will bring me lunch the next day at work. He follows through, I give him my order, then I step away from work to be with him. He ordered a crunch wrap supreme, which they had sour cream on, even though he asked without due to his dairy allergy. He is a little bummed but eats his other taco without issue. Lunch starts nice, I’m happy to see him and cozy up to him when I’m done eating. We watch an episode of Legend of Korra on his phone.
I am touching him and laying my head on his shoulder. Suddenly he blurts out, “why do you do that,” in a rather abrasive tone. I ask him what he’s talking about. He is saying that I am fidgety, anxious, all the time. “I don’t even know I’m doing it,” I responded. We had this conversation once before, but this time he seems more irritable about it. All I am doing is stroking his arms with my finger, something I have done with other men in my past, where it has never been a problem if anything something they liked.
“So like I’m like this,” he demonstrates, leaning over staring forward, completely still, for a few moments. “And you are like,” he demonstrates shifting a few times, jittering. I am starting to tear up a little bit. I only have a few more minutes left on my break, and I hate to leave back to work in this state. I am no longer touching him and crossing my arms in the passenger seat, watching his phone, and more or less waiting for the episode to end so I can leave. As it is time to go and I’m leaving the car, he is upbeat as if he didn’t just yell at me. He says “see you later?” and I’m caught off guard, “are we going to see each other later?” I asked. “Yeah depending on work,” he replies. “Uh okay. Talk to you later.” I return to work, still misty-eyed, still hurt by him talking to me the way he did.
He is acting as nothing happened and is debating eating his crunch wrap, I tell him not to. He says he is wanting dinner with me and wants to take me to one of his favorites around town. One which he had sent a menu of me to before. I pick him up on the way to my house and we go get ramen. It’s delicious. He has a few drinks since I am driving. We shared some sake, it was also delicious, and I have a jello shot drink. 10/10 would go again. Afterward we go to my place. I know I am going to need to get it off my chest how I feel about earlier today, and that it hurt me.
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I was a Twihard in high school. Then I was a Twilight hater. In 2018, I decided to reread the first book, to see for myself on which side I belonged. I wrote my thoughts as I read, in multiple parts, but on my main blog, so I thought I might share them on my writeblr too, because I kinda had fun with it.
Enjoy my many, many notes
Pages 0-50
I’m actually kinda into it. Yeah, there are a many issues every article on editing tells you to fix (filter words, -ing verbs and things like that), but i feel it. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there.
Bella isn’t that bad of a protagonist. Nothing too spectacular, but she’s fine. She is depressed, self sacrificing and hides her feelings, but also a lot more self aware than i though she would be(like when she notices mike, my son, likes her). She’s a typical teenage girl, the introverted type, way into reading. there’s nothing wrong with that.
I don’t know why i remember Edward being a draco in leather pants,but he’s also fine for now. mysterious and handsome and a bit weird. The first real conversation they have, he’s polite and nice and charming. I expected him to be a dick for like 150 pages at least.
Pages 50-100
I’m still really into it.
Yeah,Edward kinda ghosts her/gaslights her after the whole van incident, but with the benefit of hindsight,i kinda get it. It’s a wonder he didn’t pick up his entire family and moved to Alaska again. I also get her mood during that time and I've been there so i feel ya,Bella,it’s not your fault.
And yeah, Bella gets invited to the dance by three different guys and it’s all kinds of fan fic-y, but the fact she turns them down furthers my belief she’s wake up married to Edward in like a few years and realize she would rather be with Rosalie (a solid choice, might i add).
Edward’s really pushy, especially when it comes to the scene after she faints. like, let her go, you jerk, she can drive herself, but he’s more weird than he’s a jerk and i think that was intentional.
A big surprise was the line “what if i’m not the hero, what if i’m the bad guy?” which isn’t this super cheesy, extra dramatic sentence but a jokey joke told with a laugh. actually, that whole conversation in the cafeteria where she tries to guess what he is is gold and don’t try to tell me otherwise.
I’m reading her interests in him as less of a romantic thing, and more of frustration at his behavior,like she would still be fascinated by him if he wasn’t so hot because he’s just so weird (but being hot is definitely a plus).
Plot? What plot?
Still, while the flaws are there, i’m still enjoying it very much.
Pages 100-150
Is Stephanie Meyer into anime? Cuz she wrote a harem light novel,that’s what she did and that’s how i’ll read it from now on and have more fun doing it. (Might make a post elaborating on this further).
All this to say that we got to Jacob. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot about him. He seems like a nice kid and i’m glad Bella has some positive interaction. Team jacoj 4 life (jk,man,i was team jasper in high school which is in retrospect very weird of me). I know he becomes a friend-zoned dudebro later, but for now, he’s fine.
Meyer, lady, you’re winning me over as a half hearted defender of your work, but why are the girls so bitchy? Yeah,i know, bitchy girls exist in real life, especially in high schools,but girls are our friends and we need more positive female on female interactions. Just my personal preference, I guess.
Things are getting interesting. Bella’s dreaming weird dreams (just fyi, not a big fan of dream scenes in general), she’s googling like crazy and we’re going to Port Angeles.
I never felt she has any sort of affection for Angela or Jessica who seem really nice and have done nothing wrong. Like loosen up Bella, give them a chance. I know, depression makes you into a bitch sometimes, but it would warm me up to her character if she was a little more affectionate with people around her.
That whole scene where she almost gets at best beaten up and mugged and at worst raped and killed is… not my favorite part of the whole thing. I get what Meyer needed to do, to have her be saved by Edward, but there must have been a better way to go about it. What do I know? I’m the queen of forced plot contrivances. I do like their conversation at the restaurant (again, why do we hate the female waitress, Steph?). I don’t know why, I expected Edward to be mad at Bella for what happened to her and he seems genuinely concerned and his anger feels… human. Some of his actions, however, do not.
He stalked her which is weird and creepy and I hate it. Don’t stalk people, Edward. most of us don’t like it. you’re lucky Bella’s a weirdo.
150-200
I kinda love how ok she’s with the whole vampire thing. she’s just “well, this kid i barely know told me a scary story, so i guess the guy from school is a vampire. it be like that sometimes.” my first assumption would be it’s all an elaborate prank to make fun of me (i have some deep seeded trust issues origins of which remain unknown). and he’s waaay to quick to confirm her suspicions. I think there’s an explanation in the part of midnight sun that got leaked, but that was like a century ago.
I would criticize her for being ride or die with Edward so fast, falling in love with him so quickly, but i exchanged like 5 sentences with a cute girl last night and a part of is ready to propose based on the artiness of her instagam, so who the eff am i to judge?
and i get why he’s fascinated with her. she’s the only one he can’t read.
why? i don’t think that question ever gets a good enough answer, but it’s a fictional story about a girl falling in love with a sparky vampire. i’m not here for complex science or detailed explanations.
he seems waaay too protective of her. She’s a big girl, Ed, she can take care of herself. It’s actually kinda annoying. i dislike how he treats like a child a lot of the time. he seems pretty condescending. also, if he broke her car, i’m taking back everything nice i said about him.
ok, let me finally address bella’s biggest character flaw, her clumsiness. i mean, i get why she has it but Meyer goes a bit too hard on it. i’m clumsy, i really am, full of bruises, always bumping into things, but Bella can’t walk 20 meters without tripping. i guess i’m just glad she becomes a vampire in the book four, otherwise the book five would have been about her struggles when she’s diagnosed with a stage four inoperable brain tumor that’s been mesing with her sense of balance and the whole things turns into a weird version of the fault in our starts.
if i were writing it i would focus on her trust issues and being unable to form real bonds with other people as her main flaw, maybe even use it to try and justify the whole thing with the mind Edward can’t read. Like, she’s too different in a way that makes her unable to connect even on a basic level, like that one Blue whale that sings at a different frequency than all the others. Idk,i write pulpy sci fi. but it’s easy to be a general after the battle.
we got to the two infamous lines:
how are you? 17. how long have you been 17? is another line that’s more jokey than i though it would be, but also the most realistic piece of dialogue in this book. i would so ask the same thing.
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, this paragraph has been memed to death. Second, there was a part of me-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that would know every word of it till the day i died. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in like with it.
200-300
Not gonna lie, the whole part where he goes around asking her questions he is legitimately interested in knowing the answers to is at the same time my kinkiest fantasy and my deepest fear. like, yaaas, daddy, get to know me on the personal level and don’t be turn off by the fact i’m a tabula rasa.
We got to the infamous meadow scene and Bella is sooo horny on main for that vampire stake it’s actually kinda funny. She gets so effing into it she faints. I fucking love this girl. Go get that adonis dick, Bella, you deserve it.
I don’t mind vampires sparkle.i mean,it’s lame and fanfic-y but in Bosnia we have the lampires so vampires are creatures with a high dose of plasticity. i don’t know why that was like the worst thing anyone has ever done to the vampires. They are kinda too strong and could use a real weakness tho.
So the lion fell in love with the lamb is kind of another joke. Also, this is the skin of a killer is sadly just in the movie.
I do have the feeling he likes the project that he sees in Bella more than the real girl,but ok. Also stop nagging her. He watches her sleep. What a creep. I don’t know why, but the fact that he’s a vampire who doesn’t have to sleep makes it kinda less creepy for me. I don’t know why.
But “if i could dream at all i would be about you,” is the kind of ultracheese i can get behind. they are both such teenagers and i kinda looooove it.
Also non of the boys were her type is such a lesbian excuse. I feel ya Bella, i feel ya. I hope you discover your gayness after the end of breaking dawn.
We meet the cullens and every single one of them has a backstory like 528 times more interesting than Edward. i need novels about them, all of them ffs. it would be so cool. but, one of my favorite oc’s Errien Lark gets like 30 lines in the whole book so i can only be as harsh on Meyer as on myself (which is to say a lot. neither of us deserve these characters, honestly)
This book would have been more interesting if Bella fell in love in any other cullen. Like, Bella and Alice, Bella and jasper (Bella and Jasper and Alice. Sorry, i’m into solving love triangles with ot3s).Bella and Rosalie, Calilise, Esme, even Emmett, who i remember as mike of the vampires, but it’s been a decade.
300 pages in and plot is yet to happen, but it’s ok. we have the vampire baseball next.
the last part.
get your hot takes! hot takes right here
I kinda like billy. He seems like a nice guy. Also billy/charlie as my new otp.
“The beautiful one,the godlike one.” Bella, you are such a teen.
The less fucks she has about him being an all powerful ancient creature of the night who can murder her in a heartbeat, the funnier it is. She is just soo casual about it. Comedy gold, i tell ya. i mean, this is actually part of the narrative, Edward comments on it, meyer knows what she wrote.
Ed,maybe is you stopped saying she smells good, you would be better at not thinking about her as food. Mind over matter. Just a thought. Maybe i misjudged his virgin ass. Maybe ed the incel actually fell in love with her. Or at least what he thinks is love since they’ve been dating for like two days (look who’s talking?the girl who reads any sign of affection as a statement of love and then gets disappointed).
“Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle”. That’s sexist steph. Emmett, honey, you are as gracious as you want to be.
Also a big yaaaas on the whole concept of vampire baseball. we needed more of it.
Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot!
We have encountered plot. Only 320 pages in. three bad vampires came into town.
Story time: when i was in high school, all like 20 of us in out class were really, really into twilight (dudes included). we quoted it all the time but the height of comedy happened when someone brought their friend from another school to out class and someone else was like “you brought a snack” and a meme was born to be quoted endlessly for months. it was actually kinda fun. and probably very annoying for anyone who wasn’t into twilight.
Also, any development? Backstory? Motivations other than for the hell of it for out boi James and his ginger girlfriend? come on, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Also, some foreshadowing? There was like one line before. This is a legitimate criticism. it’s kinda shitty writing and a wasted opportunity.
Edward is being a dick again. I get he’s scared but her dad could die. Or maybe they’ll trun him into a vampire too (charlie/Edward? Think about it). But they all call him out on it which is nice. Bella’s plan isn’t bad, but “let me go charlie” is the straight up coldest thing i have read in a long time. it’s supposed to be, this isn’t criticism, just stating the obvious. But she showed like an inclining of love for her dad who has been nothing but nice all this time. Yeeey, she’s not a robot.
“It was the best idea. Of course it was mine” . Yaas, queen, you’re not that much of a doormat; take that credit.
i would do something to foreshadow the ballet studio thing in the first half of the book. at least, have Bella or Charlie looking at pictures from her recital, just to intricate it to the plot a bit more.
Ok, now i remember why i was team jasper. He is so effing nice. And he would be awesome for my depression. Neira/Alice/jasper, i ship it.
i’m kinda digging the explanations of how vampires work and the whole venom thing. They are still op af and need to be nerfed, but i wanna be one.
Of course, he used the mom. She’s like the only person bella actually cares about. She falls for it. i would probably fall too, but i’m dumb.
the fact that james hunted Alice is a nice and a very much needed twist. it did catch me of guard. i would be more mad he’s a bad guy monologing, but i can only introduce stones to my own glass houses.
Bella’s now more into the idea of being a vampire than into Edward and i’m living for it. she’s going to use him for his venom and a baby and run off with rosalie.
“and how many times did she fall our of a window?” (yes, that is a Sherlock reference in the year 2018 of our lord. maybe i should do that for my next project. should i wait a few more years?)
her mom is not worried enough, honestly. my mom would be freaking out. but my mom has anxiety issues, so idk… (i couldn’t get her smooth hairless legs, or her blue eyes but i got that gene. thanks, i guess) .
“And i have a couple of girlfriends” now that’s a novel i want to read but i guess i’ll have to write the lesbian twilight myself.
“I want to be superman too”. yeeees, finally, kristen steward in the role of superman casting of the century. you would all watch it and love it, and you know it.
Charlie doesn’t deserve this shit. when will he retire with his husband billy in their cabin where they can fish all day.
“Do you want me to bolt the door so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?“ Are we sure she hasn’t been a vampire from day one?
Jacob is a sweetie (for now) just putting that out there.
Edward is kinda being unreasonable. being a vampire in your universe isn’t that bad.
Aaaaw, and that’s a wrap.
i actually kinda digged it. it’s nothing special, but i read these last 150 pages in one sitting. my main issues are writing oriented. very little foreshadowing, many filter words and things like that, but i guess if you aren’t that into writing, you might not even notice more of that.
it’s not the death of literature, it’s not the worst love story ever told. it’s just a silly and mostly harmless wish fulfillment novel.
edward can be a controlling and condescending prick but he gets called out on it very often. it’s not like meyer is completely oblivious to what she’s writing. and even tho he’s 100, i guess they are all mostly stuck mentally at the age when they were turned. or at least that’s how it seems to me. bella is kind of a bitch to everyone who’s not a vampire and she’s never called out on it, there’s a glimpse of change in the epilogue, but i don’t think meyer really considered it a character flaw. which is a shame, as it could have made for an interesting character. all the vampires have stories i would rather read about, as i said before, but what can ya do? that’s what’s fanfics are for.
i may write more of cohesive thought on it when it settles in my brain, but first, i need to watch the movie. i have a hypothesis i need to test.
but i don’t regret doing this. it was kinda fun and now i’m no longer ashamed of my twihard phrase. i could have done worse, as far as teen phases go.
Someone should like write a fanfic, but Edward is not a vampire, but a rich guy. And he’s into some hard core spanky business. And they should take all the problematic elements and just crank them up to 11. And add a looot of sex. I bet they could make millions.
Tho, honestly, how can you read twilight and not make bella the kinky dom? you fundamentally misunderstood the story. for shame
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Love of my Life
Hey guys!! This is the fifth part of the series. For those o you who don't know, this story is available on my wattpad too. I go by the name @Vanshikaaaa12 so you can check it out there too if it's more convenient. Enjoy!
New York ( part- 2 )
To say that I was surprised to see her would be an understatement. God had a funny business with her. A million things are running through my mind. I never told her I got divorced, or that I had a brain tumor or a foster kid or that I operated on Catherine Fox or... What do I now?
" AMY!! Oh my God. Amy! " Nancy leans in for a hug which Amelia begrudgingly returns. " Nancy!!", she smiles tightly.
" Amy what are you doing here?", shock evident on her face having to come face-to-face with her youngest sibling after many many years. She then noticed the very very handsome man standing confusedly next to Amelia. Feeling rude to have ignored him, she quickly introduced herself and shook his hand ," Hi. I'm Nancy Shepherd. Amelia's sister. " She assumed the man must be Owen, Amelia's husband she briefly told them about, seeing how close the couple was standing together. " And you must be Owen? "
Link suddenly felt Amelia loop her hand around his arm. He found it quite odd since the 'rules' strictly prohibited them from any form of PDA, not that he was complaining. He was shocked for a second when the woman who claimed to be Amelia's sister called him Owen but was flabbergasted by Amelia's affirmation. She froze on the spot and slowly turned his head toward her. What is she doing? Me? Owen? WHAT?
Amelia agrees, " YES!! This is my husband". Oh Link is going to kill me! Why did I have to do that? I just hope Link plays along. She signals him with her eyes when they briefly connect their eyes to play along. He quickly perceived her reaction and played along. Thank God!
" Yes! It's really nice to finally meet you Nancy. I've heard so much about you", he flashes his pearly whites. She smiles back at them.
Amelia starts, " So you work here?"
" Uh I'm covering the Chief of OB's maternity leave. Ironical right? ", she laughs at her own joke. Amelia thinks, oh don't even start talking about irony with me. My life has been nothing but ironical. She chuckles darkly and silently. To entertain her, Amelia pretends to laugh.
" So what brings you to New York, kiddo? Everything okay?", she asks concernedly. God I hate that nickname!!
Amelia is quick to reply, " Yeah ". Link sharply turns toward her and raises his eyebrows in slight judgment. She's okay, right? How long do I need to pretend to be her ex-husband?! He keeps on staring at her making Amelia more agitated than she already is in the process. " OH. We're here to perform a surgery on a patient." Does Nancy look impressed? Wow. I MANAGED TO DO THAT? She smiles a proud smile.
" All the way from Seattle? You must be very much in demand. Maybe that is why we never hear from you", subtly taunting her. Now there it is. I should have waited there for a second. Somethings just never change!! Link is silently watching the whole interaction
She nervously replies, " Yup. I've been pretty busy since I last saw you. Eh. I operated on Catherine Fox herself. You might'veread about it. " She turns towards Link to gauge his reaction. He smiles down st her proudly making her grin. I'm glad he approves. Nancy is a whole different story though. She just nods along showing no reaction. Link interrupts,playing along , " Also got married!! " and smiles down at her with raised eyebrows. " Ummm yesss", she laughs and lays her head on his shoulder. Somehow it comes naturally to her. Weird.
" We should definitely catch up. Come for dinner. Both of you ". Link quizzically looks at Amelia who politely declined the offer saying they had surgery. Link too intercepts saying that Amelia had a big surgery on Seattle the next day and that they were in New York only for a day, smiling apologetically.
Nancy sighs, " Huh. At least I got to see you. Haley's comet comes around more than you do. Well, good day." She turns to leave. Amelia and Link turn towards each other with disgruntled looks. They suddenly hear her voice again and turn sharply, "Call mom sometime, kiddo. It's a kind thing to do. She really misses you " and leaves. She misses me huh. What a funny thing to say.
" Okay. Thanks for that Link." Link is pretty much speechless at this point. Amelia looks embarrassed. Link curiously asks, " What was that all about Amelia??"
" What you just witnessed was some serious family disfunction. Never told my family I got divorced ", she chuckles hurmorlessly. Link is curious but doesn't probe further. " I hope there are showers here. I really need to wash off that kiddo from my body. Blah."
Link chuckles and flirts, " Need some help with that?? "
He looks down at her with mirth in his eyes. Her eyes widen at his suggestion and she feels her cheeks burning. She sharply looks away from him trying ignore the images her mind was conjuring at his suggestion. Link shakes his head and softly laughs at her reaction. Oh this trip is going to be amazing.
They quickly change into some scrubs, in separate rooms obviously to avoid the inevitable ;) and examine the patient. They determine a treatment plan and decide to monitor the patient closely for the next twenty four hours after the surgery.
" Sooo, the surgery is scheduled in the afternoon. We'll have twenty four hours to monitor the patient. We have more than enough time on our hands. What do you wanna do today? ", Link wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at Amelia. She grins at him to give a playful comeback but before she can do it, Nancy emerges out of thin air. Is she spying on me?
" That's wonderful news. I was just going to leave y'all a note. Now you can't say no to dinner. "
Amelia is startled to say the least. She scrambles for words but none come out. She has suddenly become a dumb person. Nancy goes on, " Nope. I won't take no for an answer so don't even try otherwise I'll spring mom on you! I'll make your favourite pie. Now you have to come! "
Amelia's eyes widen at the mention of her mom. "NOO!! Don't do that. FINE. Make the pie."
" Kidding. I won't just spring mom on you like that. Meet you at 7 ", she smiles triumphantly and departs.
" Care to explain what just happened there? ", Link gives her a hard look. She cowers under his gaze.
" I hope you like pie ", she smiles apprehensively.
Amelia is trying her best to persuade Link but he fiercely refuses. They were walking down the hallway towards Jonah's room when she exclaims, "Liiinkk you can't just leave me alone like this!! They'll skin me alive! It's like...like sending Red Riding Hood to visit the wolf "
" Nope. Nuh uh. I'll be having pizza and doughnuts in the city. You're more than welcome to join me. What's even the point of going. Stay with me! "
She pouts petulantly. " Please please pweeaasee!! "
He concealed his impending grin. He had never seen her like this. She's the cutest! I can kiss her pouting mouth right here!!
" PLEASE...". She comes to a stop. " I'm begging. This is me begging." She has that flirty and teasing gleam in her eyes which she knows he can't resist. "Aren't I cute when I beg? "
Link cannot stop himself from grinning. Cute ? You're always cute. And sexy. Cute and sexy. Now how can I resist that face? She knows I can't say no to that face. Ughh she'll be te death of me!!
He waits until his heart stops racing to simply answer, " NO ". Jonah's room comes into view. Phew. Now she'll shut up for a while about me accompanying her.
Amelia kept on talking during the entirety of the surgery. She ate his ear off which he seemed to enjoy. Only when she brought up the idea of attending the dinner did he feel agitated.
" Please Link. Please ", he could make out her smile behind her surgical mask.
" The begging is cute. I agree. Don't get me wrong. But I'm not going. You shouldn't go either. Why are you going anyway ? You don't seem too fond of your sister so what's even the point ? ", he raises one eyebrow.
" My whole family considers me a train wreck. They seriously judge me and call me the Black Sheep of the family. That's the reason I never told my famiky I got divorced. "
" What, they're mad at you cause you and Owen eloped? "
" Naah. We didn't elope. We had a big fat wedding. They just didn't come. None of my sisters or my mom came. My brother too but he gets a pass for obvious reasons. "
" That's some serious sibling rivalry. So why go to this dinner spend the evening with me in the city. I know great places here ", she shrugs.
" Well I was flown to New York to perform this rare and complicated surgery. I'm here with my husband who is shockingly handsome and ever so kind. This is a chance for me to...I don't know, brag? Prove them wrong that I'm much more capable. I'm not sure exactly ". Link feels for Amelia and that basically sealed the deal until Amelia further coaxed him into going by flirting, " I'm just sure that if you choose to go with me, I'll make it worth your while in very creative ways that you will enjoy ", her smile reaches her eyes. Link stares right back at her with dark eyes trying not to picture too much. They basically have eye sex for the rest of the surgery which was successful.
In the cab:
Amelia and Link were getting their stories straight and Amelia was telling Link about Owen's likes and dislikes. Link was actually chilled out. He even engaged in some heavy flirting with her which she very subtly ignored after getting flustered.
" Okay, last question. What colour are my eyes? " she closed her eyes and turned to face him, waiting for his answer.
Link incredulously answers, " You think they're gonna quiz me on the colour of your eyes? I believe they can't be so damn evil. "
" You don't know my family. Literally anything is possible with the Shepherds. So answer. "
He turned towards her to gaze into her face trying to picturise her face. He was a master on doing so since he had been doing that a lot lately. His favourite feature on her face were her eyes. He answered without hesitation.
" Sometimes they look blue. Sometimes they look green depending on the m...", Amelia interrupts him with " Good ". She got flustered with his correct description of her eyes. He really notices even the littlest things about me. Owen never got the colour of my eyes perfectly. Stop looking at me like that!! He's a jackass. He knows how to get me weak in the knees.
Link is smiling at Amelia with a gleam in his and she stares back. They're list in each other's eyes until Amelia recovers quickly and turns her head. She tells him all about her family and is thankful that it's only Nancy they have to bear the whole night. Not her mom or Liz. Least of all Kathleen. God she's the worst! She described her to be like Martha Stewart but with a power to diagnose personality disorder and Amelia was always on the receiving end of that diagnosis.
They reached Nancy's mansion and were quickly ushered in. Only two minutes had passed before the doomed began to arise. Amelia sharply turned at the voice which rang in the hallways. Kathleen!!!
Amelia felt betrayed and confronted Nancy over her betrayal. She apologised quickly but showed no remorse. Kathleen managed to make Amelia uncomfortable even after so many years with a single glance. She always said the wrong things at wrong time. Who made her a psychiatrist? I seriously question man's judgement!!
Amelia and Link's initial shock and restless gradually died down and they were having a really nice time apart from the slight jibe the sisters took at Amelia from time to time. Nancy finally served the pie and Amelia seriuosly savoured that delicacy!! Link watched her face change at sight of the pie. She really is a child! I can't take my eyes off her ! They were enjoying their pie when suddenly the bomb was dropped.
" Where's my baby giirrll??!! There was dead silence. You could hear a pin drop.
Amelia had the look of utter shock and betrayal written on her face. She looked really torn. Link was in too big a shock to think straight.
She confronted her sisters and Nancy knew nothing about calling their mom. Kathleen was the culprit though. She obviously didn't look repentant!
Mama Shepherd came into the picture and gushed over her youngest daughter and hugged her until her gaze landed on Link. Things quickly went downhill from there. Carolyn Shepherd seemed to remember Owen from when she visited Derek in Seattle many many years ago and caught them red handed.
The sisters then began the Shame on Amelia programme. They brought up each and every transgression of her entire life and insulted her relentlessly. It was revealed that they freaking bet on her marriage!! Who does that?! Amelia told everybody about her divorce. Soon wine was brought in Kathleen. Link reached for the wine but stopped himself thinking about Amelia. He didn't drink in solidarity and in consideration of Amelia. He knew she'd be broken after this and wanted to stay sane to take care of her.
" See this? This is why I didn't even bother to call you when I found out I had a brain tumor. This is why !! " Again, dead silence! Her family was shocked that she never told them about her brain tumor. But they didn't seem unfazed. Her mother had tears in her eyes hearing about her daughter's tumor.
Thisbpoece of information was astounding to Link! " You have a brain tumor??", he cried.
" No. Had. I had a benign grade- 1 meningioma which they completely removed!! "
Link had never felt so fiercely protective of anyone in his entire life. She is telling her about her brain tumor but no one cares ?! Is this really her family? They're pure evil !! How can someone treat their own blood like this? Don't they care about the hardships she must've endured on her road to recovery? They better shut up right now !
Link was having enough! They were her family ! Her blood! How could they treat her this way?ink could not bear seeing the object of his affections being insulted this way. He was getting mad !! He'd blow a gasket if Amelia didn't open her mouth soon. What has happened to her? Why isn't she defending herself? This is not the Amelia I have come to know!! Link and Amelia made brief eye contact. He willed her with his eyes to speak up. To defend her honor! Speak up, woman. Say something! Prove these bitches wrong! Show them who you are.
Amelia seems to gain some strength from his confident gaze and stood up abruptly.
Amelia's damn broke. She just blew.
" Okay you. You don't know me. You have not seen me for years. I am not that fourteen year old girl trapped in your mind anymore! I am sober. I am responsible and I'm a freaking neurosurgeon at the top of my field. I save lives everyday. In fact, I'm the Chief of Neuro at one of the top hospitals in the country. You don't get to judge me here. You have no idea who I am. So just shut the hell up!! "
Link had a proud smile on his face. Attagirl!!! That's my girl!! That's my Amelia! That's the Amelia I know and respect.
They sisters still were unfazed. Are they devils? The didn't stop their humiliations of Amelia here. In fact, they began questioning her career now!
Nothing could stop Link now!
" ENOUGH ! That's enough. I haven't known Amelia that long but I certainly know her better than you people! I've been getting to know her and she is not at all the woman you are describing. She is a brilliant surgeon. The kind you fly across the country when you need the best! ", he replied sternly but firmly. His voice grew softer when he looked at her, "She is an amazing teacher and mentor. She cares about her patients and her colleagues. I mean, she's beautiful. And smart. And kind. And funny!! And STRONG. She has overcome a lot and adversity and feels her feelings in a big way but that only makes her better than most of the people I know!! It makes her authentic! She doesn't need your misjudgment in her life."
Link walked up to her and held onto her shoulders to provide support. She gazed at him with tears in hers eyes. No one has ever stood up for me like this. He is a very good man. I'm so thankful that he came with me today. She looked up at him with adoration and gratefulness in her eyes.
Things went further south after what he uttered next. His unintentional slip up about Leo and Betty brought a new wave of judgement and string of insults her way. She quietly looked at her mom with an unreadable expression and simply said, "Link, let's go. " She caught hold of his hand and dragged him out of the house along with her.
Mama Shepherd had never felt so disgusted by herself in her entire life. She shut up her other two daughters, gave them an earful and determined to set the record straight with her youngest daughter. She cannot leave without talking to me!
Author's Note:
I'm soooo sorry guys for the extra long chapter. I'm really trying very hard to make them shorter but these ideas in my head. Ugghh sorry. Anyways, I've kept the story as close to original as possible and just added some personal touches. Next chapter coming right up!! And I'll try to make them shorter, but you never know 😉
Your comments just make my day and motivate me further to deliver some amazing chapters. Keep commenting! Enjoy!! Until then.
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you know what i realized i never did?
i never fucking analyzed the KIDS chumhandles either, i just said mh guess thats what they want to be referred as, might as well let them do what they wanna do.
but now that i THINK about it, it kind of makes sense as to what their personality is gonna be like. especially now that we found out john used to be ghostytrickster (implying he likes jokes and ghost busters). ectobiologist is now just another word play on ghostbusters (but with the now added on easter egg of ‘ectobiology’ we found out).
yeah, so that means the chumhandles have relevance to the characters and its weird that it took me 1000 pages to say “hold on a sec” like wow mack, okay, maybe this was something that should have come up during act 1.
so here it is guys, the big post!
anyways, the kids are easy to identify now. but i dont think it would have been so easy if i analyzed this before i got to know them. tbh, im just analyzing this more for those trollslum guys, bc theres 12 of them and i aint gonna remember which ones which unless i have a little idea as to what they are known as chumhandle-wise. so im gonna answer this question in its ENTIRETY from all that we have seen. bc its CG’s army of bullies, theyre prob all the same, just not on caps lock as much. and as much as i joked about them all being CG, i dont think hussie would do that to us. would be funny, but thats just what john said.
anyways, i still probably should get the kids over with:
its clear dave like rapping and DJ-ing, considering the turntables and has a weird ironic thing, so turntechgodhead fits the bill, and jade loves flowers and can predict the future so gardengnostic also makes sense (bc gnostic means she knows shit) and tentacletherapist is easy bc its cthulhu and rose wants to be a therapist.
okay now that thats out of the way, i want to dive into CG’s chumhandle and leeeets see:
so this is the ones we have seen (so 5 out of 12) and for future reference, i will NOT look up some of the words if i do not know them. in case that spoils me. either the word is not in the dictionary and is only viewed as a homestuck term, therefore if i look it up, i see their character or name something. or maybe the word itself means a spoiler?? so im just going to admit my lack of english skills and say “i have no idea what that means” if it comes down to it.
but by god, without knowing a character these can be hard to analyze. ill still try it out, tho.
CG, our main bully, our first and only troller, the “carcinogeneticist”. this one is easy, you know why? carcino + geneticist is similar to carcinogenic which by definition means “it causes cancer” solely bc i remember that from biology. so my take on it: he’s cancer to me, hes the fucking tumor in a brain. he makes u wanna kys. bc hes insensitive. there we go, figured it out. lets move on.
this... arachnidsgrip... means spider?? maybe they like to bully people by putting spiders on them? yeah.
twinarmageddon.... huh theyre probably a fan of this whole apocalypse business im guessing. they probably are a FANATIC about world destruction. thats my take.
terminallycapricious.... i have no idea. but they probably have a connection with CG because together they make “terminal cancer”.
idk what the last one says... bc idk which ones an a, an o or what.... but i know the last part says aquarium so they probably bring people to the aquarium and drown them just like a bully drowns their victim in the toilet.
cool, cant wait to meet this cast honestly...............
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Heyo! So I'm like suuuuuuuuper lost on like all of your WoW posts lol. Would you mind giving me a basic run down of your characters pretty please?
hey! of course! i’ll be honest, i’m still making and fleshing out a lot of the character, but this is a pretty quick and basic run-down of what I've got so far! thank you for the lovely ask!
this is missing a few of the characters that aren’t super fleshed out yet, and yes, this is my largest cast out of the CHP series!
_-_-_
Wings of War is set during the early 1970′s, in an alternate history that allows for some advanced technology, the inclusion of Intent, and the addition of wings being a natural part of some human’s forms.
it follows four teams (fluctuating numbers between five and eight members at various points) who have been hired by the Guiding Star Corporation. their job is to “develop advancements in technology, human endurance, and product testing” which, as it turns out, means that they fight to the death in endless matches, brought back to life using what’s known as a Respawn Machine.
the teams (north, south, east, and west) are shipped between ten different bases, scattered across several different countries. this represents the ability to pick different maps in most fighting, pvp, or 1st person shooter games.
on each teams, there are specific roles that the GSC are looking to have filled. each team has a “building” class, for example, which creates the titles of Builder, Maker, Techie, and Engineer. the “sneak” class consists of Assassin, Spy, Rouge, and Thief. each class can only be filled by someone with a specific set of traits, which results in, essentially, total reliance on GSC.
two teams have wings, and two teams don’t. i’m still working on filling out all the roles and creating all the characters, but here’s a basic run-down of what I have so far!
_-_-_
Adele Adler - the handler, the woman in charge. She runs relay between all four teams, doling out missions, handling issues that arrive on and off base, and acting as go between for the Teams and the Council. she’s supposed to keep her distance between them, and had managed that for all the teams before now, but...the men are growing on her! she has a surprising soft spot for most of them, and finds herself more and more willing to turn blind eyes on their shenanigans.
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Jeremy - West Team’s “fast class”, this boy is a Speedster through and through. he has a short temper, a severe anger problem, and briefly made a living running drugs out in Boston. his weapon of choice is a chunk of wood with some sharp nails in it, and he can hit harder than you would think. runs his mouth a lot but is the only person on his team with any ability to understand the words take care of yourself.
Joshua - West Team’s Sharpshooter, and originally from New Zealand. lives in a camper just inside of the perimeters of the base. anti-social and with no interest in changing that, he took on the job because there’s a very large bounty on his head that Adele promised to get rid of.
Feliciano - the Rouge of the West team, he tries very hard to make himself look proper and put together but usually fails. had a bad reputation going when he first started, because he was pretty sick and just Not Feeling Socializing, but it’s easy enough to see that he’s a good guy these days. a former bodyguard.
Lucas - the Techie, and originally from Sao Paulo. he loves sugar sweet coffee, and has a prosthetic leg that’s fueled by Intent and a rare mineral. a technical engineer, meaning he uses Intent to make new technological advances. can talk for hours if you hit a subject that he likes.
Deiter - the Doctor of West team. he’s a good man, though he tends to have extremely manic episodes that are not helped by the incredible amount of upper’s he can often be seen taking. lost everything when the city he lived in was blown up during WW2. fiercely protective of his team-mates.
James - known as the General of the team. fought in WW2. suffered a severe head injury that still affects him today. a kind man with a lot of personality, and a love for animals. if you tell him something, he will likely forget it. don’t hold it against him, because he’s already doing that himself.
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Tony - the Runner and local loudmouth of North team. you cannot pay this boy to be quiet, and he’s both stupid as a bag of bricks and also incredibly intelligent. from New York, where he had a lovely stint robbing the Italian mafia blind with his husband, Rizzo, until they were both shot up and picked up by Adele.
Rizzo - the Demolitions Expert of North team, and actually pretty adorable if you can get past the fact that he’s incredibly crass and has no filter between mind and mouth. Hopelessly in love with his husband, even if no one else realizes they’re married. he will burn water if you let him cook, so maybe best if you don’t.
Werner - the North team’s Medic. he’s absolutely batshit, but has a good heart. was running a black market ring in the country side when Adele found him, though he was originally from Oslo. couldn’t speak anything but German and Norwegian before coming to work for the GSC. has two pet rats.
Francois - served as a spy in WW2, and currently the North team’s Assassin. has a HEART based injury with a lot of the same symptoms as tuberculosis. was picked up by the GSC with an offer of as-of-unheard of medication. sardonic, and prone to cracking jokes that most of his team don’t pick up on.
Loto - the Archer, and a member of North team. from the Louisiana bayous, and great with a cross bow. has an old coonhound that sleeps in bed with him, but who Loto claims to hate. often forgets that he needs to actually go to the kitchen and get food, and that the food he needs is easily available.
Braeburn - the Mechanic, and the longest running member of any of the active teams. has a prosthetic arm. really fond of sweet tea, and more idea of what’s going on than he’s willing to let on. bound up in so many contracts, it’s literally woven into his Intent.
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Elias - the OG title, Soldier, and a member of South team. fought in WW2, where he briefly met Francois before being shipped to Poland. was discharged after being severely injured, and lived homeless on the streets for a while with BJ. originally from Canada but ended up in America during his discharge due to an error on his papers. suffers from brain tumors caused by extended exposure to Iradium in the war.
BJ - the Hurricane (class title will change, I just needed a placer, oops) of South team. left an abusive home at fifteen and has been on the streets since. took a contract with GSC to get Elias medical treatment. dyslexic, and often described by his team as “being a lot”. uses a steel pipe for his preferred weapon. loves talking and telling stories.
Olek - the Firepower of the team, literally. can probably punch you hard enough to get a KO, but fights with an Iradium powered flare-gun that does serious damage. from Russia, with a strict I won’t tell you anything about my past policy, and a bizarre fondness for bears. great at giving hugs when you’re down.
Jakob - the Maker of the team. has a highly advanced prosthetic eye. losing the vision in his other eye. the guy who picked up BJ and Elias. has a real morality struggle between the job he does, and his own views on Mercy. probably needs a hug more than he lets on.
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Scout - the Scout of East team, and yes, he does think that’s funny. grew up the oldest of six kids, with a single mother. started doing deals behind the schoolhouse to bring in some extra cash, and it got out of hand when he got older. has severe ADHD. can and will count cards if you play poker with him. no common sense.
Jane - the Guard of East team. unofficially fought in WW2. a big softy, under all that gruffness. suffering from major hearing loss, and with the habit of virtually never taking off his helmet. a pretty shy guy, and any kindness sent his way will catch him off guard.
Christophe - the Spy of the team, he was drafted into the Korean War, where he served a grueling eight months before being attacked by military trained dog-horses and sent home. a chronic insomniac who never settled back into civilian life, and has an abysmally childish sense of humor.
Ollie - the Arsonist of the team, he was living homeless in Daytona before Seamus found him. has horrible decision making skills and a pretty rough past, and considers the base home near instantly. his self-care skills could use some boosting, and he tries really hard to not mess things up.
Seamus - technically the Gunner of the group, but he would rather just make a lot of bombs and use them instead. missing an eye, and has a lot of self-worth issues and a pretty heavy accent that his speech impediment doesn’t help. a drunk, but having Ollie around’s been proving to be good for him.
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What were you doing in 4th grade?
I’ll tell you what I was doing. I was trying to make sense of why my brother would break into 2 of my neighbors houses and steal stuff. One of those neighbors had a girl in my grade that went to the same school as me. And the other neighbors were like a second family to me. But that all changed. They didn’t want to see us anymore. The whole neighborhood knew.
This is how I found out about it: I came home from school and ran into our living room to tell my mom that I was going to play with the neighbors. My mom stopped me and sat me down. She told me that they didn’t want to see us anymore because my brother had broken into their house and stole stuff. My brother was in 7th grade at the time. My brother had a court hearing while I was in school a few weeks later. Every time I saw the other neighborhood girl at school it just reminded me what my life had become.
We were basically shunned by a big chunk of the neighborhood. Imagine that your in fourth grade and feel constantly judged wherever you go. My mom ran into family members of the neighbors at the stores and she would feel ashamed. I remember many times I caught my mom crying in the kitchen when one particular song came on the radio. She didn’t even try to hide it. One day I came home from school and saw a flash of my brother running upstairs in my mom’s bathing suit. I didn’t know what to do. I ran outside and went across the street because I knew he wasn’t allowed to go over there.
I sat on the curb crying as my brother tried to get me to go back home. Eventually I did. When my parents came home I told them what happened. I remember i smirked as I heard him getting yelled at. You know how it goes with siblings. I didn’t understand why my brother would do something like that and I still don’t. My mom started locking her bedroom door every time they left us home alone. I remember one time they told me to keep an eye on my brother. Basically babysit him. Also I lost another best friend of mine in 4th grade she switched schools and we never really talked again.
I had to deal with what was happening on my own because my parents never talked about it around me. When I would ask a question they would get angry. So I learned to stop asking questions and not tell anyone what happened. As a 4th grader I had to deal with the fact that my brother was in legal trouble and because of that my best friends didn’t want to see me anymore. And you would think that my turmoil would be over by middle school but it wasn’t.
My nighbor’s aunt was a teacher at my middle school. She knew about what went down. But thankfully she was very kind to me. I was still afraid to ask questions about what happened. But she assured me that my neighbors missed me and they wished that circumstances were different. I also made a friend in middle school and she ended up leaving the state. My grandpa (dad’s dad) accidentally ran over my grandma with a four wheeler. (She lived she just needed a back brace for a while.) then he started having back problems so he wore a back brace too.
He is an active guy so he was working in his garage when he caught fire. He ended up having 3rd and 4th degree burns on 20% of his body. Destroying the nerves. The doctors were amazed that he recovered so quickly and nicely.
This situation followed me all through high school as well. But I think I was the only who was actually still dealing with it. My parents had seemed to move on so did my brother. But I couldn’t. Because there was constant reminders in my mind. I still carried the shame and guilt. It also didn’t help that freshman year was the beginning of a whole new situation that would last a whole 5 years. My oma (moms mom) fell and had an open head injury. Let’s just say that my Oma picked on me constantly growing up. I was the only grandchild that she picked on.
It wasn’t in a loving way either. She was down right mean. Telling me I dress nicer. Behaved better. Yada yada. It got so bad at points that my mom and her would get into big arguments that ended with my mom and I leaving their house in tears.
Anyway this woman required constant care and my aunt refused to put her in a nursing home because she is a complete control freak! My mom had to go there everyday to help out. Every year it was always something new with my oma. She broke a lot of bones, had pneumonia, etc. Like seriously this woman wouldn’t die!
This meant I was home alone in the summertime before freshman year. In the same neighborhood. Thankfully God blessed me with my dog. So I didn’t feel so alone. In the middle school years I had made some new friends. But I always stopped hanging out with them. I dumped the friendship cold turkey. No warnings. No nothing...
So my mom would come home exhausted. When freshman year started she was part of the elementary school committee. The elementary school was right next to the high school. So my mom would bring me to school around 7 O’clock because her meetings started soon after. I was one of the first people in school everyday. I didn’t mind. There was a history teacher that would open up the art room for me. Sophomore year luckily one semester I had the same history teacher for first period so I would just sit in the classroom and doodle.
Junior year we got a new building. And I got my car. Now things between my mom and I weren’t good. We would get into arguments in the morning. So I started going to school early again. Also I moved in my junior year. We built a new house and it felt like it was going to be a fresh start. It was but the new neighbors didn’t like that we cut down some trees. They said that they liked their privacy. Well sorry but we don’t want trees falling on our house.
My mom was still taking care of my Oma while my aunt went to work. My mom was retired from teaching. School became my safe haven. I talked with a few of the teachers in the mornings. I considered my art teacher like a friend. I had friends my age like... 5ish but only 2 of them I actually got along with. And today I only talk to 1.
Senior year I decided I wanted to be a social worker. That didn’t pan out. I thought that once I started college that my home situation wouldn’t follow me there but it did. I had way too much on my plate and I was stressed. I became extremely suicidal. It got to the point where I would wake up in the morning and the first thing that popped into my head was to overdose. I started slacking on my classes. I stayed in my dorm room all day except when I was in class. I barely talked to anyone.
After school ended my therapist said that I should go into a temporary counseling group. So that’s what i did. It didn’t really help that much... I started working at the job I have now. I worked here in the summers as well. One summer I was extremely depressed and it took everything in me not to stop on the train tracks on the way to work everyday. Just when I was about to give up my boss put me in a different part of work because they needed a replacement for the week for the guy who was on vacation. The guy on vacation name was Marcos. And the guy who worked with him was John.
I started working over there more often and it really helped. The guys taught me how to relax with my job and worry so much. We talked about the hardships of life. John lost 3 loved ones on 911. And Marcos always has a smile on his face. I remember I started doodling on scrap paper and they loved them. I drew Marcos once and he was so happy! He was like: “John! John! Look! She drew me!” In his Hispanic accent. Marcos gave me snacks and pop even when I said that he didn’t have to do that for me.
Well, last year on July 25 I was working in a different area for a few months. (I hadn’t really talked to Marcos and John that much because I didn’t want to get in trouble with my boss.) John came up to me and asked me if I had heard about what happened to Marcos. I said I had no clue. He responded saying that Marcos committed suicide in June on the 25th. I thought he was joking because he has a dark sense of humor. So I said, that’s not funny John. He was being completely sincere... he gave me the paper with the obituary details on it.
Marcos’ step daughter accused him of molesting her when she was between the ages of 4-8. That was a lie. She did it because he told her that he couldn’t afford to buy a car for her. So she went to the police and told that lie. The truth is that he didn’t even know her until she was 11! His arrest warrant was sent out and 3 days later Marcos went home and killed himself...
I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for Marcos and John, i wouldn’t be here today. They saved my life. And knowing that I didn’t notice that Marcos was gone for a month kills me. I had no clue what was going on during that time. After I heard the news about Marcos i shut people out. I had a new coworker who was trying to get to know me and i would just shut her out for the longest time. She said that she had to keep pushing to get to the brick wall i had put up. I couldn’t handle anymore loss. I finally let her in and we became good friends. About 6 months later she stopped showing up to work. I texted her asking what was going on. She said she had quit her job because she couldn’t work third shift anymore. She said that everyday she got to work and she would start crying. Now she is a mom as well so that’s stressful enough as is.
I started training someone new for three days. We got close and talked about a lot of different things. She missed a day of work. I asked what happened and she said that her mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was inoperable. The doctors gave her a few months to live. She stopped coming to work after a few days and didn’t come back.
Now I’m 21, have no clue what I want to do with my life. I want to move to Hawaii and live in a van. Like I’m being serious! It is the only thing I think about my future and don’t want to kill myself. I tried finding careers that I would want to do but that got me nowhere. So I started thinking about if I could move anywhere in the world where would I move?
By the way I’m adopted from Russia when I was 3.5 years old. The first 18months of my life I was severely neglected to the point where I was too weak to even sit up. I also had a sister who was adopted by her dad. (We have different dad’s same moms) she will be 24 in September 23. I don’t know if she is alive or not. So from the get go I had abandonment issues. My birth mom and her mom are/were (don’t know if they are alive either) alcoholics.
I’m not saying that people didn’t have it worse than me because of course some do. But the victims of a crime aren’t just the people who were robbed... the family of the robber are victims too. Feel free to share your stories!
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Episode 110: I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing - details
Episode Summary Isobel de-pods, reconciles with Noah, and sets out to gain back her blackout memories via more antidote. Michael tells Alex all about his origins and upbringing, and shows him his super fun alien science basement. Alex and Kyle try to figure out the coded message Jim left. And, Max and Cameron start trying to catch an alien bad guy. (Plus, other stuff happens.)
Details - this is not an exhaustive list of every single detail, just just a few that might be important now or later.
The cave & Max’s house
Isobel is de-podded and cured (we hope), then goes back to Max’s house to immediately begin making fun of her brother. (As a good sister should.)
Max isn’t telling Isobel about the 4th alien yet, wanting to give her the day to get her life going again.
Sanders Auto
Michael has told Alex the alien stuff offscreen, and Alex decides he now wants to know more about Michael’s childhood.
It turns out Michael was placed with: a couple of angry meth heads in Albuquerque, a violent drunk in Santa Fe, and then back in Roswell when he was 11 with fundamentalist religious freaks.
He was relieved to see that Max and Isobel had an easier time.
When he asks how Alex had already known about aliens, Alex tells him it was a “massive government conspiracy”
Michael thinks it’s funny until he realizes Alex isn’t joking.
Cam & Max
Cam tells Max about the 14 phoney autopsies she’s discovered. Her contact suggested that the real autopsies were destroyed but -
Max interrupts her, so we don’t find out how many of the real autopsies they’ve found in Jesse Manes stash of alien conspiracy paperwork.
Max apologizes for lying, but not for protecting his family, and Cam just hopes she doesn’t have an alien STD, and can we please catch the bad guy now?
Kyle & Mama Sheriff
Kyle, now pretty sure that his dad’s illness was no accident, interrogates asks his mom for more details.
Jim and a CT scan after an accident on Valentine’s day 2014 that showed no abnormalities, but by March 1 he had a huge tumor in his brain.
The doctor said they thought the cancer was accelerated due to “some environmental exposure”.
Hmm. Like Jesse’s cancer ray gun, I bet.
Apparently, Jim and Jesse had been friends until they’d had a falling out when Kyle was a teen.
The reason Jim gave was that Jesse had no code - or at least not one Jim agreed with.
Jim’s “unbreakable moral line” was “protect your children at all costs.”
Mama Valenti thought Jim was cheating on her with Rosa, but Kyle assures her it was Mama Ortecho, not Rosa, and Rosa was his daughter.
Also, according to Mama Sheriff, Jim wrote those letters for Kyle.
Michael’s fun alien science basement
Michael shows Alex the ship he’s been working on - something he’s never showed anyone.
The pieces naturally meld themselves back together when they’re close enough.
Apparently, offscreen Alex has told Michael that his family has been targeting Michael’s for generations. So why is Michael showing him everything?
Because Michael is tired of secrets and figures if anyone is going to destroy him, it might as well be Alex.
He thinks it’s the ships central control panel, and the key to getting him off the planet.
Meanwhile, Alex is freaking out that Michael is suddenly talking leaving Earth, and he excuses himself to “process”.
“Process” means go drink at the Wild Pony.
Wild Pony
Max and Cam are investigating one of the 14 murders - a girl (Carla) who was killed last year in May.
It turns out all the murders had the Wild Pony bar stamp on their wrist.
The stamp is only used twice a month when the bar gives out free food to people in need.
According to Racist Hank, Carla had been talking to someone he thought looked shady the last night she was seen.
Max assumes “shady” means not-white.
Isobel & Noah
Isobel goes home and tells Noah everything.
He’d freaked out and bought a gun when he’d seen her in her pod, but she convinces him not to use it.
Noah still loves Isobel after her story, and they decide to have a romantic picnic together, only to have their plans interrupted by Isobel’s flashback of Rosa.
In the flashback, Isobel talks to Rosa for the first time, starting a friendship and saying “I’m sick of being Isobel Evans.” She also doodles the alien symbol on a post, telling Rosa “it’s nothing.”
Hoping to get more flashbacks, Isobel convinces Noah to head to the hospital with her to get more antidote from Liz.
Protestors are blocking the hospital entrance, but Isobel uses her powers to make them move aside.
The hospital shooter is there protesting with the group.
Wild Pony
Maria’s power is legit! She’s able to tell what cards someone is looking at even when they’re trying to trick her.
Alex arrives for his drink, and Maria asks the reason for his day-drinking, hoping it’s nothing more than a boy problem.
When Alex confirms that it is, she senses that it’s about the mysterious museum guy from ten years ago. She begs him to finally tell her who it is.
Eventually, Alex admits that yes, it’s Michael Guerin, and he knows that Maria recently hooked up with him.
Maria assures him that it meant nothing to her, and she never would’ve done it if she’d known Michael was his museum guy.
The hospital
Isobel tells Liz how the antidote has started giving her her memories back, and she wants more.
Liz is reluctant, having no idea what side effects there might be, but Isobel insists, so she says she’ll give her a micro dose.
They’re interrupted (maybe - it’s unclear if she actually finishes the injection) by an alarm - there’s a shooter in the hospital!
Liz goes to stash the antidote saying “they can’t be exposed to light this long” while Noah is busy getting shot in the arm.
The government bunker
Kyle, now apparently having his own access to the bunker, has called Alex over to look at his dad’s papers.
Alex enters saying, “I was this close to embarking on a real bender at the Wild Pony.”
:(
Alex immediately notices that Jim’s letters have symbols that match the symbols on the alien fragment, so he shows Kyle and starts talking about the complex algorithms he could use to decipher them.
But Kyle reminds him his dad was a regular dude, not a mathmetician, so Alex guesses maybe it’s a simple code.
Using “Magoo”, Kyle’s childhood nickname, they’re able to decipher the letters.
It begins “Hi Magoo I love you” - proving that they’re on the right track
The scene changes before we see the finished translation for the rest of the pages.
Hospital
Max goes in to find Liz while everyone else is exiting the hosptial to escape the shooter.
Liz and Co. are hunkered down in the lab, but once the lights start flickering, Isobel realizes it’s Max and opens the door for him.
Max escorts them out, then immediately heads back in to catch the shooter.
Meanwhile, the shooter enters Liz’s lab, breaks everything in sight, and then sets it on fire.
We do not see him take anything from the lab or open any drawers.
Outside, Isobel has another flashback of Rosa: they’re on the roof of the Crashdown, and Rosa is ranting about how the town will never let her change. She says “if I even am an Ortecho - my mom is a liar” indicating that she may have been aware that her mom had an affair.
Flashback!Isobel hugs Rosa because it seemed like she needed one.
Then we see another flashback where Isobel remembers talking to Rosa at the Crashdown the night of the prom saying, “I wish I could be who I am with you all the time.”
Then she has a flashback of finding Rosa by her vandalized car, and learning that Kate and Jasmine were responsible.
Michael runs and hugs Isobel, asking where Max is, and they all look towards the hospital waiting.
Inside, Max finds the shooter down in a basement, having no memory of what he’s done. The shooter then has a seizure.
After catching him, Max and Cam talk about how people getting amnesia after committing crimes is starting to become familiar.
The airstream
Isobel tells Michael about her flashbacks and how she felt like she had feelings for Rosa and wanted to hurt anyone who hurt her.
Michael isn’t shocked and welcomes her to the bisexual club.
But Isobel wants to get all her memories back, and assumes Michael has stolen some of the antidote.
He totally has. So he gives her some and she drinks it.
Kyle & Mama Sheriff
Kyle wants to know what Caulfield means, because it’s appeared repeatedly in Jim’s letters.
She tells him it’s a prison 100 miles north of Roswell where his grandfather first started as a corrections officer. But it’s been closed for decades.
The real-life town approx. 100mi north of Roswell is Santa Rosa, and there is a prison there, but it’s not called Caulfield. (FYI)
Wild Pony
Maria is working after the bar is closed, when Michael walks in to return her necklace.
He’d also like some free booze.
She immediately lets him know that she knows about him and Alex and that she never would’ve slept with him if she’d known the had history. It can’t happen again.
He says, “You keep saying that. I got it.”
Back turned, she tells him to come back when they’re open.
And he leaves.
Hospital lab
Liz’s lab has been damaged by the fire, and since nothing else was burned, Max is sure it was a targeted attack.
Regarding her “normal” science work, Liz says “The damage is gonna set us back months. We’ll have to start over - if the baord even lets us.”
But as Max and Liz talk, Liz realizes that it’s more likely someone was targeting her alien work in the lab.
Her antidote and serum is all missing.
Liz suggests to Max that the 4th alien is using some kind of mind-control power to make people murder.
She also suggests that the 4th alien is able to do that by taking control during someone’s blackout.
Wyatt was blackout drunk
The shooter had epilepsy
And Isobel was getting blackouts due to childhood trauma
Liz theorizes that Isobel is innocent, and has been controled by this 4th alien during her blackouts.
Isobel’s house
Isobel has another flashback, this time of the night Rosa died.
Rosa is looking for her backpack when Isobel shows up, telling her she doesn’t need to go anywhere because she’s already taken care of her problem with Kate and Jasmine.
When Rosa isn’t interested Isobel says, “This isn’t me, Rosa. This isn’t my body. I can be anything you want me to be.”
When Rosa assumes she’s just high, Isobel continues, “I’m not Isobel. You want someone strong, someone who will protect you, who won’t leave you. I can be that man. I killed those girls for you.”
Then she specifies that she snapped their necks, and they’re outside. She’d like Rosa to come see.
Rosa, seeming afraid of what will happen if she says no, agrees to go.
But “Isobel” reads her mind and says “You’re lying to me. I can feel what you feel. You hate me know, don’t you? You don’t want to be mine?”
Isobel glow-hands Rosa to death, telling her everything she’d done had been for her.
#roswell new mexico#liz ortecho#max evans#michael guerin#alex manes#kyle valenti#mama valenti#noah bracken#episode 110#details#roswell nm season 1
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Why I started blogging.
Life comes with it’s share of ups and downs, we all know that. There are the downs that we can breath through and the downs that take the breath from our lungs. There are days we wish we could repeat forever and days that will haunt us forever.
On May 1st, 2017, I was driving home from the grocery store with a million thoughts in my head. I’m a mother of four. My two oldest were in school and my two youngest asked to stay with a dear friend of mine for a few hours. I was busy planning my to do list of all the things I could accomplish before the bigs got home from school and the littles came home from my friends. Free time doesn’t come often and I was planning on taking advantage.
My little brother called and said ‘where are you? I need you to come to my house. It’s about Dad, Mom is here and I’ll tell you everything when you get here. Just come over now.’ I kept asking what was wrong and he wouldn’t tell me. Finally he said ‘Dad’s in the hospital, I’m so sorry, just come over.’ I knew right there, that this would be a day that would haunt me forever. You see in my family, there are no secrets. There is no ‘I’ll tell you when you get here’. I could hear the heartbreak in his voice. I knew in my heart, this was going to be bad. When I got to my brothers house, I immediatly knew something was wrong. My sister in laws car was in the drive and I knew she should be at work. When I walked in the door, the faces of devastation I saw made me loose my breath. I’m not sure why but I walked into their bathroom and stared in the mirror. I told myself that whatever I was about to hear would be okay. I told myself to get my shit together and go back out there and face what was going on. So, that’s what I did. I sat down and looked into my moms eyes as she repeated the events of her morning. I was told that morning that my dad had lost his eye site for a few minutes and my mom made him go to the hospital. They found tumors throughout his brain. I’ve worked in the medical field for years and knew that once cancer spread to the brain there was little hope. I also knew my father and he would never go through chemo and radiation. All of this was swirling in my head and all I wanted to do was see my dad. I kept thinking is he okay? If I can just get there i’ll be able to put his mind at ease somehow. I told my mom how sorry I was. My heart was breaking for her. She just found out that the man she had spent her entire life with wouldn’t grow old with her. My baby brother held me and let me have my moment. I cried so hard in that moment, for everything we had and everything I felt we were loosing. I went to my husbands work and broke down. I’m not someone who cries easily. So this was all new to me. I was trying to hold it all together. I was trying to talk with intelligence and strength. I just couldn’t do it. It was as if someone had a brick on my chest and I just couldn’t breath. My husband tried to calm me down. Told me he would take care of everything, not to worry. Once I knew my girls would be okay, I left for my dad.
You see my entire life, I had been a Daddy’s girl. He was the one person who could say anything to me and I would listen. He knew how to keep me in my lane. He was the person I ran to before making any decision. He was the hug I needed to make it through the bad days. He was the calming voice in my head when I felt alone. He would listen to me rant and cuss and yell when I needed to vent. He was my everything.
I can still remember walking across the bridge to the hospital. I don’t remember the car ride there. I walked by the labor and delivery waiting room. So many families smiling and showing each other pictures, I felt so sorry for us. The elevator ride took forever. When I got to the door way leading to my dad, I had that feeling that I couldn’t breath again. I walked in and gave him the longest hug. We both had tears in our eyes and we both just knew somehow that our days together were numbered. The next couple of days went by in a blur. They found tumors throughout his entire body. We would learn that he had small cell lung cancer that had spread. We were told he probably had it for a while. We were told if he did nothing he’d have weeks with us and if he decided on radiation to his brain he may have the summer. He ultimately decided he just wanted to go home. I spent most nights at the hospital with him and we would stay up all night talking for hours and going to the parking deck to smoke. He showed me how I was supposed to live and then he taught me how to die. That may sound strange but I’m not sure what I would have done knowing I had celebrated my last Christmas, birthday etc. I never saw him break down. Those nights were spent with him laying out all of the things I would need to do moving forward. His number one priority was my mom. He said ‘She’ll tell you she’s okay and wants to be alone. But don’t let that happen.’ Then my brothers, he told me all of the little things he does for them ‘when this one calls you upset, he doesn’t want your opinion so just listen’ and so on. He gave me advice on raising the girls. Two of my daughters suffer from genetic diseases and he told me he’d pull some strings when he got where he was going. He told me not to spend money on psychics or sit at the cemetary for hours because he wouldn’t be there. We planned his funeral like we were talking about the weather. We picked the songs we would play, Holding my own by Eric Church was one of them. We also joked about playing Willie Nelson’s Roll me up and smoke me when I die, we both agreed my mom would never forgive me. We laughed and cried and laughed again. I’ll always be thankful for those long nights together. Its not that we had unfinished business or anything that needed to be said. Those nights were just ours.
I drove my dad home from the hospital thinking, this could be that last time he’s ever in a car. What an odd thought during a time our entire world was crashing around us. My families strength during this time never faultered. My mother, brothers and I had one common goal and that was to make sure we were together and could take care of my dad. My brothers took leave from their work, and we all moved into our parents house. We all agreed that there would be no hospice aide, we would be the ones taking care of him. My aunt and husband took care of the kids. I would stay up all night with my dad, come home for breakfast and to get them ready for school and then go back to my parents. I was an emotional zomby. Reassuring my girls that everything was okay, Papa just didn’t feel good right now. My brothers and I being as strong as we could for my mom and dad, and spending more time together than we had in a while. It’s funny how life works. I would consider us all incredibly close but as life goes on, we are all so busy with work, spouses and kids, we don’t have a lot of time to just be together. They would stay up at night with me and I just loved the ball busting, jokes and sarcasm. It reminded me so much of my child hood. Sharing a lifetime of memories, day after day. I could share a million amazing and horrific memories of those days but there are some things that don’t need to be shared.
On May 13, 2017 my aunt woke me up and told me she didn’t think my dad had much longer. I walked downstairs and watched him in his hopital bed. My mom holding his hand. My brothers sleeping on the couches. Other family in and out of the living room. The t.v. was on and I can remember thinking, he hates this show. So I asked my uncle to hand me my phone. I pulled up Eric Church’s Holding my own. Set the phone by my dads head and held his hand. His breathing became so calm. We woke my brothers up, during that time I hit replay on the song. My dad took his last breath. It was peaceful and without a doubt made me believe there was a heaven. Thirteen days came and went from the time we found out he had cancer to the time he was gone. My entire world was shattered in thirteen days. My heart physically hurt for my mom, brothers and most of all for the four little girls I had sitting at home. He was still a young guy, 55 years young to be exact. He had so many plans for the future. Plans that would never happen now. I was 32 years old and didn’t have a dad here anymore.
My entire family loves Eric Church music. My brothers and dad especially. Music was always on in my house. We are always playing new songs for each other. Eric Church’s song Holding My Own will forever have a special place in my heart. It’s become my families hashtag of sorts. My dad passed the day before mother’s day. He’s now in heaven, Holding His Own. A torch was passed to me. I am still here grateful everyday to be Holding My Own.
I don’t think you are ever prepared to not talk your parents again. Especially for me, a man that I put on pedestal my entire life. My anchor and guiding force. He always told me I had a knack for writing and that I should do something with it. Maybe he was just being a supportive parent. You know, like those kids that try out for American Idol and can’t sing a lick?
Either way, I’m off now. Learning how to design a web site and social media. Writing my stories, opinions and advice. God help you all…. for better or worse, my hat is in the ring. Even if nobody reads what I write, I’m content with what I’ve accomplished so far.
This isn’t a whoa is me story. It’s a story of love, laughter, strength and hope. Even on my worst days, I straighten my crown because I’m Dan Brown’s daughter. In my 34 years of life, he prepared me for everything. I still see him, feel him and hear him everywhere I go.
For my father, my family, my girls;
I’ll Live Love and Die, Holding My Own.
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I can't stop thinking about your Dr!Tim verse (This isnt a prompt btw, I just wanted you to know that Ive been thinking about your writing and how much its inspired me. Sorry for how long this is). I keep imagining the man on the bridge being the hot topic on every news station and paper, even more than Batman and Robin. Everyone wants to know who he is. Is he ok? Did he give his life saving his fellow Gotham citizens? There are a lot of questions
(2)and few answers. Those in the loop are more than content to leave it that way,but somehow it gets leaked that Gothams new hero is a young prodigy doctor atGotham General. Tim is not made aware of this until he gets mobbed by reportersas he’s leaving his 36 hour shift and getting asked a lot of innapropriatepersonal questions. And it’s not nearly as funny as you seem to think it is,Jason.
(3)Of course his boyfriends quickly stop finding the situation funny once the joboffers from all over the world start rolling in. Dozens of them, all offeringthings like millions of dollars in salary, positions like chief of surgery, allin state of the art hospitals that are properly funded and don’t reside incities with crazy clown attacks. And it hurts because, how could they ask himto stay? How could they ask their genius sugar to tie himself down to a city
(4)that chews everyone in it up and spits them out, to be a doctor in a hospitalbarely scraping by, how could they ask their genius boy to refuse a once in alifetime opportunity to escape this shithole of a city and make something bigof himself, all to stay with two vigilantes who cant guarantee they’ll make ithome each night. They couldn’t do it, they want whats best for their boy, evenif it means he leaves them. They can’t ask him to stay.
(5)Damian of course has no such qualms about blackmailing, er requesting Drakestay in the city, and subsequently with his older brothers (Because if he hurtsthem, Damian will hurt Tim twice as bad). Which leads to a very awkwardconversation in which Damian threatens Tim not to leave, Tim is confusedbecause “who said anything about leaving?” And then they have a heartto heart about how Tim isn’t stuck at Gotham general, he chose that hospital.And that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
**
So, hi babe :D Iknow this has been sitting in my inbox for a minute, sorry >.
Brilliant, babe. Justbrilliant.
I also get to play withanother back-and-forth I haven’t really gotten to yet in these little things,so I’m super excited for B and Tony Stark to just have a little snark-fest,yeah?
**
Tony showed up a fewweeks early for his quarterly “visit” to Gotham.
It’s disconcertingbecause Tony Stark goes between creating new innovations to privatelyconsulting around the US on the most dire of cases in need of a precise handand large enough ego to make miracles happen. He might have to do somebookkeeping even though Pepper is his CEO and runs his company with iron heels. When he’s not working, he has a nice relationship waiting for himat home.
All of it didn’t leaveTony much time to be running to Gotham before schedule to do someridiculous amount of pouting.
And yet?
Here they are.
When Tim actually getsto turn away from the stack of charts he’s updating, he has an oh shitmoment because Tony…isn’t immediately talking. No white coat, just asnazzy three-piece, arms crossed over his chest, and utterly
Silent.
Tim automaticallystands, taking in his old mentor from head to foot, looking for clues toadd to the inevitable diagnosis hovering in his brain pan.
(Because, you know, thattime when he was still a lowly bachelor and could take a month off of Mercy topretty much live in Tony’s facility while things like brain tumors threatenedhis Tony Stark’s life. His hands didn’t shake the whole time he was rootingaround that famous mound of grey matter–that’s when he knew he’d hit the bigleagues.)
“If you even think,”Tony starts, low and angry, “of taking the offer from UCLA over mine, Iwill be an even bigger asshole about your terrible life choices.”
Oh.
Oh shit.
Word has apparently gottenaround.
It started out with aquick blurb on the news, blurry camera phone picture of emergency workers andplain clothes civilians jumping to action in the middle of a crisis, a humaninterest story and all that. A glimmer of goodness among the chaos.
More picture with betterquality once the shock and aftermath died down, started to flood Social Media,even various videos of cables snapping and people running, trying not to gettrampled. One the media latched onto just happened to be of him carrying thelittle girl from the car and helping her mother up in the back of a truck tosend them to safety.
The one with himbreaking through the fallen debris made Dick gasp from the table where he waspatching his suit and Jay wrap a big hand around his ankle to squeeze.
The one where he almostlost his grip climbing the wall of broken shit and flaming car remains isprobably where someone saw the connection because the class of kids went on thenews, holding up colorful signs with Thank-You, Dr. Drake!
He was happy they allseemed fine and after an uncomfortable call from Channel 11 Gotham (howthey found out his name is still a mystery even though he suspects B is an evenbigger troll than he’d already surmised), in which he stipulated nocameras this time, went by the elementary school for a visit. They gripped hisnerd shirt with excited hands, and his arms are long enough for a lot ofhugs.
But while Channel 11agreed to his term of no cameras, no interviews, that didn’t really panout when it came to the story later on that night.
His picture flashed allover the damn place, the resident angel on the bridge as one Dr. Drakefrom Mercy General trying to save as many lives as he could. More video clipsand interviews after the fact (he’s so glad to see that Karmen and her mom areokay), and dammit, he’s being literally attacked outside thedouble doors to his ER after a very long shift without Steph. He mighthave been a little mean when he told them in no specific terms that he was onlytrying to make sure people didn’t, you know, die horribly, as is hisnormal, every-day job, and please let him go home where he can pass outfor a day or he’s going to lie down on someone’s shoes and take a nap.
Jay was predictablyentertained at the whole of it. Dick merely told him his kick-ass doctorinstincts deserved appropriate accolades.
Both of them areassholes, but still, they’re his assholes.
But eventually, likeeverything in Gotham, those videos became old news and the next wave ofinevitable oh shit became front and center. Which, should have meant hisfifteen seconds of fame was pretty much over (thankfully)–if he hadn’tstarted getting other interest.
Several offers startedcoming first by mail to the Penthouse, more by phone and email. Unassumingproper stationary with silver and gold lettering, bright voicemails about his“heroism” and obvious skill in emergency situations, emails from high-rankingdoctors or board members extending an invitation to visit their campus and seeif his career might be going in a new direction.
(Gag)
It was pretty easy atfirst, chucking those finely detailed introduction letters in the trashdiscreetly, sending back appreciative declines without Dick or Jason gettingwise as to how many there actually were.
(John Hopkinsthough…that one he had to think about)
A month later and thingsslacked off (or might be routed through Drake Industries so they stop coming tothe Penthouse). Apparently, though, the attention had been somewhat noticeable.
“I don’t know what youmay have heard, Tony, but–” he starts out calmly, putting the penpointedly down.
“Let me start with the shortlist,” it’s the usual sarcasm laying the mood, mimicking an imaginarychecklist, “John Hopkins, Department Head of Emergency Medicine. Mayo, General Surgery Residency Program Director. MassachusettsGeneral, Chief of Surgery. UCSF, Chief of Residents. UCLA, Chief of Staff.Cedars-Sinai, Neuroscience research grants out the ass. Sound morefamiliar?”
Well, there’s only oneway to get this conversation started.
Bonding over coffee.
Gathering up hischarts with a sigh, Tim shakes his head a little and grabs the cane he’s beenusing since his leg is finally starting to get with it (and no Steph,the House MD jokes were funny a week ago, now you need new material). Heshoos Tony out of the room and down the corridor to the chaos that is his ER.
“Notice I didn’tmention the very generous and consistent offer from StarkMedical, Tim,” because Tony really has nothing to be mad about per sayand falls in step beside him anyway, slowing down his unusually fast strides toaccount for the limp. “Because I’m not here to smooze.”
He pauses at the maindesk to arrange the charts in order, gets the approving nod from his favoriteHead Nurse.
“There’s story behindthis,” he fills in casually, “it’s more complicated than just–”
“You almost died,”Tony interrupts smoothly, “on a bridge. You ran around on a crumbling bridgeinstead of getting people the hell off while you got the hell off. Halfthe nation saw that guy with the crazy bat fetish catch someone out in openwater wearing purple scrubs, Tim.”
Well, none of that isa lie really.
Hands free, Tim gripsTony’s elbow and steers them pointedly into the break room, closes the door.With Dr. Stark roaming around Mercy, most everyone would stay clear unless somecatastrophe hits anyway.
He lets Tony stew fora few minutes while he makes a fresh pot of coffee and thinks very, very hardabout how this is going to go.
“You were worriedabout me,” Tim finally gives a half-grin in the face of Tony’s nope, andputs a fresh paper cup in his hand, “you can bluster all you want, but you wereworried, and I appreciate it.”
“That is absolute crapand you know it. I’m here to make sure no other hospitals or researchfacilities snatch you up, Drake. Not after all the effort I put into you overthe last few years.”
Sure, Tony. “The bridge. I survived. A lot of otherpeople survived, so you can ignore whatever crap the news stations aresaying–”
“All of it is true.You stupidly risked your life when the structural integrity was compromised,and since it just happened to involve that wing-nut in the cape, thenation is going to pay the fuck attention.”
Which is probably whyhe’s suddenly Mr. Popular in his field. Well, that does answer some questions.
“You’re taking thisout of proportion,” even if it’s fruitless, he’s still going to try,“there really haven’t been that many–”
“Twenty of the topfacilities in the world have made offers that would put this place to shame.Three of your last publications have shown up in recent journals. The nextsymposium you’re supposed to be at is already sold out.”
And well, shit.He…he didn’t know all of that.
“Besides, if I wasblowing it out of proportion, we wouldn’t be talking about it in thedeserted break room, Drake.”
Tim groans out loud,rubbing a tired hand down his face. How is he going to explain without soundinglike a complete moron?
“Tony, the offersare…nice, okay? I’m not going to say it isn’t cool to be wanted by someof these places. I mean Cedars… they have equipment and research facilitiesmost places couldn’t even dream of. Just the possibilities–”
A very pointedclearing of the throat makes him take a pause to breathe, count to ten becausehe has to get in the mindset to deal with Tony like this again (it’s been aminute) when he’s being incredibly stubborn.
Neither of them noticethe dark blue against black right at the side of the building, but the presenceunder the open window narrows white eyes and stays hidden in the Gotham shadow. Who even knew how long he’d been there.
“Excuse me,Cedars has equipment most facilities–aside from Stark Medical of course–couldn’teven dream of.”
The look he gets backis unimpressed at most, but Tim can see past the usual Tony Stark mask. Theexuding confidence is there like the nice, expensive suits he wears, but underneaththe brilliance and the snark, Tony’s eyes are bloodshot and the dark circlesunderneath look like bruises. He keeps his dominant hand in the pocket of hispants, probably to hide the slight tremble (which is why he isn’t wearing acoat, right? If Tony’s riding the sleep dep train, he won’t operate if hishands are starting to shake).
Tim eases back alittle, sips on his terrible sludge while idly thumbing his phone open.
“I’m very well awareof the opportunities right in front of you, Tim,” Tony starts moving, a shortwhirlwind of movement, activity, and energy. “I’m just saying–”
“What I told you ayear ago is still true,” Tim comes back, finishing up the quick text to one ofTony’s significant others, (just a little knowledge drop on how exhausted hismentor really is). He puts his phone away and crosses his arms over his chestin a firm sign of ‘this is how the discussion is going to go.’
“You can’t be serious.”And yes, that’s Tony Stark without all the touchy-feely, I care if you diekind of thing. “I’m outraged. I’m outraged on your behalf, Tim.”
“You can’t be,” hedeadpans.
“The hell I can’t.You’re going to stay here, in this death trap of a city and practicemedicine in this ill-equipped, dilapidated chop-shop hold-over from the secondWorld War–”
“Tony, c’mon.”
“While half thegoddamned world is out for you?! Do you have any idea what kindof direction your career could go if you accepted even one of thoseoffers?”
“I–”
“Anything else isliterally going to be professional suicide.”
“When you put it like that–”he snarks back, getting a little closer to his patience. It had taken longerthan usual because Tony, like Layla, needed to adults to lay it out for themonce and awhile.
“It’s time to listento reason, Tim. You’ve had plenty of time to try, I don’t know, winningthe Nobel for putting up with terrible conditions and homicidal maniacs withbomb fetishes. Isn’t it time you started challenging yourself again, and notby trying to die in this trash-dump city?”
And the shadowsoundlessly slides away in the night, leaving the conversation to finish up anecessary patrol. The rushing wind doesn’t take away anything he’s alreadylearned.
Dr. Drake, blissfullyunaware of the company, narrows his eyes dangerously, straightens up because dammit,he thought he handled this.
“I. Am. Not.Interested.” He tries, wondering if the emphasis counts. “As appealing as theresearch capabilities are, I’m not taking any of the offers. At all, atall. I’m staying right the fuck here where I choose to be.”
And he sees Tony startto open his mouth to start-up with another fast and furious argument on whyGotham is a cesspool of death and more death, but Tim walks right overanything he might have started in on by just getting right up in Tony’s faceand laying it all out.
“I appreciate the fuckout of the interest, Dr. Stark. Thanks but no thanks.”
“I need someone tocheck you out obviously.”
“I like ithere.”
“Oh? And what’s hername Mister I-Like-It-Here?”
“His name,Tony, and their names for your information.”
That has the intendedeffect and makes his old mentor pretty much pause on the next syllable.
“But just so you know,they aren’t the only reasons why I’m staying in Gotham City. It’s more thanbeing close to my parents’ graves or close to my best friend and my niece. It’smore than just finally coming home, Tony. I belong here. I’m neededhere. It’s dirty and dangerous and so fucking what if there’s a guy in aBat suit running around kicking the shit out of criminals? It’s my city,so no. I’m not going anywhere.”
And Tony just blinksdown at him for long moments, this scene so painfully familiar from their daysof arguing back and forth during his “internship” with Stark Medical. It hadn’ttaken him long to understand what needed to be done to make someone like TonyStark change his mind.
Get all up in his faceand drop some truth bombs.
“I really, really hatethis,” Tony finally replies flatly, but his eyes are scrunched in amusement.
“I know. If I ever dowant to leave it behind, then you know the first place I’m going to go,” Timcomes back more gently, giving Tony a smirk.
Even though he’sobvious not happy about it, some of the pissed off fades out of Tony’sstiff posture. “Promise me, Drake. No one gets to kill you before I pick yourbrain about the neuro-stimulation device we’re working on.”
And with the obviouspun, he leans over laughing until his damn leg starts to ache and Tony has tohold him up by the arm so he doesn’t fall over.
**
The very impressiveRolls Royce greets Dr. Stark when he finally makes his way out the front doorsto attempt finding some palatable coffee.
The older man waitingby the passenger-side door is familiar enough that a smile cuts across Tony’sface.
“Alfred! Long time, nosee.” He smirks at the irony since his “visits” to Gotham didn’t alwayscoordinate with Pepper’s insistence he at least be in the city for SMbusiness.
“Master Stark, apleasure to see you again, Sir.”
“Always. Let me guess.You have some incredible coffee in there waiting for me?”
“Of course, Sir. Flavoredjust how you prefer.”
“You are a master ofall things, Alfred. Don’t even let Bruce tell you any differently.”
“I shall remind him atevery opportunity. However, you may do me a service and tell him yourself,”Alfred opened the back door with a slight flourish to show the billionairehimself sitting in the back, drinking from a thick, glass tumbler.
“Aw, Bruce, is that autility belt under your shirt or are you just happy to see me?”
The surgeon foldshimself down to get in, eyes sparkling for the slight scowl on his old friend’sface. He pays little attention to Alfred getting back in the driver’s seat andstarting the car. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t trust me inyour city.”
Tony stick up hispointer fingers at the side of his head, wiggling them to mimic the ears on theside of the cowl.
He’s smiling likecrazy when B just rolls his eyes and takes a deep pull from the tumbler.“You’re early, even after you’ve been running the gambit at your facility andStark Industries for the past few weeks. Forgive me for being curious.”
“I had to see anotherdoctor about a job prospect.”
“The doctor we have amutual interest in?”
“That would be theone. Next time he needs to be saved, leave the tights at home. Don’t you have aWE helicopter for a reason?”
“And exactly how wouldI explain that one away?”
“You have PR people,Bruce, let them have a field day with ‘rich socialite accidentally savespeople on a crumbling bridge.’”
“That would make morework for me as Bruce Wayne. Batman is a better figurehead for that kind ofthing.”
“Figurehead? Oh,you mean the persona you’ve gone to great lengths to hide as some kindof myth or urban legend all these years? That guy just suddenly shows up in thedaytime?”
“He’s beenphotographed before, Tony. Sometimes even with other superheroes, likeSuperman and Wonder Woman. All drawback of being on a team.”
“Teams are wonderfulthings, Bruce.
“Says you.”
And from a pocket inthe door, Bruce finally has a little bit of mercy on the overworked genius bypulling out a warm travel mug with the Batman logo on the front.
Tony laughs maniacallyfor long, painful moments, earning another eye-roll. The contents, however, arejust as Alfred promised: full of caffeine and just as tasty.
After a long moment ofsatisfaction, Tony lays his head back on the cushy seat and just sighs.
“You’re pushingyourself too hard,” Bruce admonishes gently. “I’m going to send the WE chopperto pick up Jim and Steve instead.”
That wakes him up.
“Don’t you even dare,B. I’ll never forgive you.”
“I’ve made worseenemies.”
Tony doesn’t snortcoffee up his nose, but really, it’s a close thing.
“You obviously can’ttake care of yourself,” Bruce is his usual brusk, no-nonsense about it, butTony can see there’s already some kind of plan in the making. “I can seewhy the two of them have such a hard time with you.”
“Says the guy thatneeded an emergency arthroscopy for meniscus tears.”
“Then I guess I’m verylucky you were in town.”
Tony hums, but hiseyes are sparkling. “How is the knee doing by the way?”
“It hurts when I breaksomeone’s jaw. Other than that, it’s fine.” And because it’s Bruce, he wavesit away without a second thought.
Tony hums again, buthis eyes go down to the knee in question.
Bruce sips his drinkagain while Alfred continues driving and Tony makes him wait for it.
Finally, once they’repassing the old Mylar building, B looks at him head-on, “all right. What did hehave to say?”
Trying not to grin,Tony shrugs a shoulder, “you’ve got nothing to worry about. Drake is staying inGotham, even with the more-than-generous offer I’ve made him. Believe me, B,I’m not happy about it, but he doesn’t seem too keen on leaving Mercy General.”
And as Tony is well-awarein their long and industrious friendship, the real Bruce Wayne is like a closedbook, doesn’t let even the smallest twitch break his facade (well, except infront of his boys, which is when BatDad makes an appearance), but thesigns of relief are really hard to miss for someone that literally kept B’sright arm moving after that rotator cuff injury.
“Dick and Jay will behappy to hear that, I suppose.” Tony observes with false cheer becausehonestly, who wouldn’t put two and two together at this juncture.
(Bruce isn’t the onlydetective. As a surgeon, Tony has to deduce with little evidence, so it’s notreally a shocker to find out the vigilantes have a doctor for a sweetie. Smartmove all around.)
“…yes, they will.Tim…?”
“He didn’t have to.You just told me yourself, Mr. Wayne.”
At the frown, Tonygives himself a mental point. The day he can get one up on the Batman is reallya day he needs to remember.
“All right, fine. Jayand Dick might have mentioned he’s been getting attention outside Gotham. I’vealready taken some steps to try making it seem like staying in the city mightbe a better deal.”
And Tony’s jaw drops,“you’ve been trying to get Mercy to partner with WE! That’s why they aren’tplaying nice with Pepper! Bruce, you devil.”
“Demon, actually, ifyou believe the stories,” and now it’s Bruce smirking into his tumbler. “We’lltalk more about it over dinner. Besides, the Batcomputer is on the fritz again.You can dazzle me over filet mignon.”
“Flatterer. How can Ipossibly say no?”
Bruce taps theintercom to tell Alfred they’re ready to go back to the Manor and Dr. Starkwill be joining them for the evening. Alfred gives him an affirmative and the planis set into motion. If there just happens to be a comfortable surfacefor Tony to pass out on during the visit, well, the pictures for Jim and Stevewould be well-worth the effort.
**
The conversation withTony didn’t end well, leaving him with a mental hangover by the time his shiftis finally over.
Night hadn’t startedbreaking away into dawn yet, so he’s still walking by dark alleys where thestreet lights are flickering.
He gets out a, “whatthe fuck–!?” before he’s just suddenly swept up off his feet by a strongarm holding him up hundreds of feet in the air.
Really, he should beused to things like this by now.
Robin undoubtedly givesno shits about how tight he’s holding onto the doctor or, the obviousdifferences in their height as punctuated by the botched landing, putting himliterally on his ass.
“Wow, thanks for the warning,Rob. I really didn’t need legs anyway.”
In some way that mightactually show he’s sorry, Robin bends down to pick up the cane and handsit over so Tim can get back on his feet.
“Alright, what’s goingon? Where are you hurt?” He doesn’t bother with niceties, just grips Robin bythe bicep and turns him, uses the cane to hold the cape out of the way. “Pleasetell me no one stabbed you because wouldn’t that just be ironic?”
He sees no blood ortorn suit. Takes a second look just to make sure.
Robin, in a creepyparody of his conversation with Tony earlier in the evening, is silent.
“Rob? Robin, what isit?”
A litany of oh shitruns through his brain pain in the form of toxins, mind control, and bloodborne pathogens (oh my).
“I have beeninformed,” the youngest vigilante starts slowly, “you are considering other opportunitiesoutside of Gotham, Drake.”
He blinks once. Doesit again while staring down at the whiteouts.
“Opportunities? Rob–Dami,what are you talking about?”
“Facilities are vyingfor you, offering you more advantages than any in Gotham possibly could.I understand the temptation of such offers–”
“Whoa, what? Wait aminute. Just. Wait.”
“However,” Robin goeson, his tone low in the night, “I am here to offer you a bargain.”
And that in no waywhatsoever sound anything less than ominous. Like, ‘I’ll promise not to takeout your spleen’ kind ominous.
He leans down a littleso the crime fighter doesn’t have to look up at him, “First: yes, I’ve gottensome job offers. It’s nice they’re thinking of me, really, but those offers arebased off a one-time emergency incident, not because they’ve seen me inaction or know anything about my…hobbies. They’re not offering a jobto me, Dami. Do you get that?”
The ensuing silenceand Bat-stillness are signs of the younger processing.
“Besides, I choseto come back to Gotham when I could have gone pretty much anywhere after myinternship with Stark Medical. You have no idea how many places wantedme on staff after I survived Tony Stark. If I wanted a job outside of the city,I could have had it in spades. The point is I chose to be here. I wantedto stay, and that? Isn’t going to change, okay? No bargains, no threats,nothing. I’m not leaving–”
He stops himselfbefore saying I’m not leaving Dick and Jay because really, he isnot, repeat Not talking to Dami about his relationship. Poor kid mightbe traumatized for life, so nope, not happening.
(Their last littleconvo to the vibe of ‘harm my brother and I shall eviscerate you per one ofyour textbooks. I shall do it slowly and methodically. Your screams would nottrouble me’ turned into a pretty good discussion on the best possiblescenario in effectively ripping someone’s spine out. His argument against thelogistics of it had spurned Robin out of the killing mood).
The obvious relief inthe small crime fighter is right there in how his shoulders sag just slightly.
“So, you’re going tohave to put up with me saving your ass when you do stupid shit like take on anarmy of zombified Jokers without backup.”
“Then…I shall haveno other option but to deal with your meddling when necessary,” the youngerwaves off his concern, but a corner of his mouth is tilted up just enough tonotice.
**
It’s really nice ofDami to drop him off on his fire escape. Walking would have been fine, but whenyou can travel Air-Robin, well, why not?
He pushes his windowup and gingerly eases in, maneuvering the cane to steady his leg. Hands are onhim before his head is inside and he wacks himself a good one in surprise.
Dick is smiling gentlydown at him, still gripping his elbow to steady him.
“That sounded like ithurt,” is a failed attempt at a joke because the mirth doesn’t reach the darkblue of Dick’s eyes.
Oh. OH. Welp, that’swhere Dami got this nonsense from, is it?
His stern lecture isgoing to have to wait for at least one cup of half-way decent coffee because hereally need to wind it up so the message hits home.
Jay is already there,his chair pulled out from the kitchen table and the pot filled with somethingdarker than the night.
“Hi honey,” he tiredlycalls, “did my boys have a good time kicking the shit out of bad guys tonight?”
Making grabby hand athim, Dick is one of his hugging moods, and pretty much lifts him off hisfeet to nuzzle/carry him to the table where blessed coffee awaited. Fine.Lecture pending.
He gets a last goodnuzzle to the face before the smell of pizza hits and a plate appears in frontof him. Jason leans down to blow a breath across his jugular before his mouthpresses just enough to be a kiss, the usual effect takes his nerve endings up anotch or two before the tease pulls away.
The three of them eatin sluggish silence, the strain of their night jobs hitting a little close tohome. The call of a communal shower and their large, comfortable bed a siren’ssong to the over-worked, sleep-deprived do-gooders.
But Tim knows them bynow, knows what’s already running them further down.
Through the last yearof their relationship, they’d already been through the whole we’re puttingyou in danger just by being with you argument.
Yes, yes it possiblywas.
Yes, he is fullyaware.
Yes, he can make hisown choices fuck you very much. Apparently, his no, not changing mymind is going to come out for a second time tonight.
“Robin picked me up onthe way home,” he starts out while the two of them are finishing up and lookingless likely to start up arguing before he’s made his point.
“Dami was still out?”
“What? Baby Bat ain’tget enough in that warehouse down on 23rd?”
Tim finishes off hiscoffee and finally sets his eyes on first Jason and then Dick. “Going to ask mewhat he wanted?”
Both crime fighters gostill, doing that eye slide thing they can still pull off with a domino andhelmet.
“Lay it on us,Timmers.”
“He pretty much askedwhat offer I was accepting for some mystery job half a continent away,”and now he’s glaring, eyes narrowing when Dick looks quickly away and Jasonsits back with a tense jaw jutting out.
“Which is absolutelyfucking ridiculous considering I like right where the hell I am.Where could he have heard such a thing, I wonder?”
Oh yeah, that’s Dick’sguilty expression.
“It’s fine if theywant to offer me a position, but the nice thing about it is that I can politelydecline, you know.”
“Top twenty facilitiesin the world, Timmy?” Dick’s voice is softer than he’d like, shakingly unsurefor a vigilante that literally risks his life every night to keep peoplehe doesn’t even know safe. “That’s not something to take…lightly.”
His mouth drops openwith an are you even kidding me?
“‘Sides,” Jayintejects without really looking at him, “ain’t like this is the fucking centero’ the world fer a fella like you, Sweets. Smart, sassy, moves like yerass is on fucking fire when someone’s on the line. Ya got moreguts than anyone outta the cape I ever met.”
“Gotham doesn’t haveto be the hill you die on,” Dick picks up, looking down into the sludge left atthe bottom of his coffee mug, “we would absolutely understand andsupport you if you even wanted to look into any of these places–”
“Even go ta seewhatcha might be lookin’ at,” Jay shrugs indifferently, “make sure ya’d findsomewhere safe ta build a nest.”
“The kind oftechnology they could offer you would be, like, ground-breaking stuff and…andGotham just can’t give you that, Tim.”
“No motherfuckersgonna break inta yer shit, I guaran-fucking-tee ya on that.”
“It’s not just beingin the ER or in surgery, it’s moving up to management or teaching or being afull-time researcher with grants and–and everything.”
“Make a safe routethere n’ back, you feel me? Me n’ Dickie’ll scope it out a few days, check the scene.”
“We would never wantto hold you back, baby. Not when the only thing Gotham has to offer you isexploding bridges and insane mad men that kidnap you and ninjas that are readyto attack at any second, and…and Timmy, you could never be safe, notreally, not here. Not even with us and B and Dami and everyone else,it’ll never be completely safe for you.”
“But fucking believeit, Timmers, we’ll make any place ya wanna lay yer head down as safe as wecan, yeah?”
“We…we love you, andwe want the best for you.”
“If leavin’ is what’sbest, Sweets, then we’ll make it fucking happen.”
It’s DIck’s voicecracking and Jay’s shiny, averted eyes that end it for him right then andthere.
He shoves himself upfrom the table abruptly, a jarring motion. The sound of the chair fallingbackwards a loud clatter against the softness of their voices. He keeps a handon the table top to walk around the damn thing and almost strangle Jason bylooping an arm around the base of his throat and pull the Red Hood into hischest. He holds out his other hand to Dick, glaring with the best of hisabilities.
It’s a tremulous thingwhen Dick rises tiredly out of his seat and takes that hand, lets Tim pull himover and secure the both of them to him.
“I’m going to say thisbecause it’s obvious the two of you are too tired to use your detective skillsfor anything more than superficial clues.”
Slowly, Jay’s face isin his stomach, arms wrapping around his waist while Dick secures his chest,the two of them almost holding him up.
“After all thefighting I’ve had to do to get here, to get this far, I’m not giving up jackshit. I run the gauntlet because that exactly where I want to be. I staywith my people because that’s my fucking team and no, I don’t wantor need another. I can watch Layla grow up into this kick ass little person andmake sure Steph has someone to Netflix and chill with while we kill a pint ofBen & Jerry’s. But what matters the most, what I can’t fucking give upis being here with the two of you in whatever capacity I can. Asyour boyfriend, as your surgeon, as the guy that is totally, you know, inlove with you. As someone that can share your lives like this. All of it isexactly what I want and what I get to choose. You two? Don’t get to tellme what’s best for me. I decide that. Got it?”
The quiet, still menattached to him give half-shuffling nods where they’re buried in him.
“I don’t want to hearanything else about leaving Gotham, like at all, okay? The answer is no.I’m not going anywhere to tour the facilities or listen to stupid speechesabout what they have to offer or how good the benefits package is. None of thatshit. They can’t offer me my ER, they can’t offer me time doing research in theBatCave, they can’t let me play around with alien DNA for a minute, and theycan’t give me you two. So? No. Case closed.”
Dick lets up justenough for him to tilt Jay’s head back and lean down to slide their lipstogether, giving the Red Hood a little something to seal the deal. Those eyesare bluer when he pulls back, making him smirk before he straightens up to giveDick the same treatment.
(Because they’re bothtall, he has to pull them down to effectively fuck his tongue in their mouths.Such a pain in the ass.)
When he pulls back,Dick gasps in a little, tightens his hold around Tim’s chest.
But the reliefpervades the air between them, giving him a reason to go a little more lax,just to feel them pretty much ready to hold him up completely.
“So the plan is,”he continues easily, one hand on the back of Jay’s neck to rub the tensionaway, and the other gripping Dick’s wrist tight enough to bruise tomorrow, “weget a nice, hot shower with plenty of scrubbing and maybe a little play time.Then, we climb in bed and pass the fuck out. You can fix your suits tomorrow,and we’ll all feel up to having dangerous acrobatic vigilante sex after about eight hours. If you’re both good,I’ll…I’ll wear that thing you got me for my birthday. Deal?”
He knows he’s alreadygot their acquiescence when both his boyfriends noticeably perk.
“That sounds like adeal to me,” Dick tries to be mock-grave, but he’s laughing in the back ofTim’s neck, running his nose over the knob of bone.
“Fucking righteous,Sweetheart. I been waiting ta see that.” Jay is grinning up at him with thatlook– all kinds of anticipation without any of the previous hesitation.
“Good. Peel yourselvesoff of me and lets get naked. For mostly clean purposes. Or not. Really, I’mpretty beyond compromised, so I’d probably like to make you both come at leastonce before I’m unconscious.”
“Sweet-talker,” Dickteases and steps to the side so he can be the first to lift their civilianboyfriend up in a princess hold that has become way too reminiscent in the pasttwo months.
“He’s just talkin’ my language, ‘at’s all, Baby Boy,” Jaystands to give him a fast n’ dirty before he gets their mugs to the sink andfills them with water to wash tomorrow. He hits the lights and follows his boysdown the hallway where slippery skin and things like I’m not giving upare waiting.
#doctor!tim#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#winter answers#my fic#my writing#this really was fun babe#bruce wayne#with guest star#tony stark#dr!tim
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Review of 14x03 “Go Big or Go Home”
“She’s still grumpy, huh?” If you read my season 13 reviews, you know that I often criticized who Meredith had become, or more accurately, who the writers had written her to be. Meredith, at her core, is dark and twisty, but in earlier seasons she still had basic kindness. Seasons 12 and 13 Meredith did not. She was bitter, snarky, and unrelatable. Season 14 Meredith has, so far, been written much better. And even though she spent most of this episode being angry, it was written in a way that was human. She acknowledged her anger and dealt with it instead of just being nasty to everyone in her path. This is a huge improvement in the writing for Meredith, in my opinion. And since they are letting Meredith acknowledge and deal with her emotions, it makes sense that her patient would also be her therapist. Kill two birds with one stone, right? This way Meredith can practice medicine and process her feelings. I would have appreciated the “I am done with triangles,” line if the first major promo of the season hadn’t been solely about love triangles. Instead, it just made me yell at my TV. The blood clot that the psychiatrist has represents Meredith’s inability to tell Nathan how she feels. His heart is blocked. Her heart is blocked. Until it isn’t and Meredith’s feelings spill out. “You don’t have to lie. You have to fight. Show her that you love her. Remind her of why she fell in love with you. Make her see that she is your first and only choice. Please don’t blow this.” Not one line of that was about Megan.
Speaking of Megan, she looks rougher recovering from surgery than she did after being held captive for ten years.
Benley – Once again, I am 100% here for them being the side couple who are happy to rub each other’s feet in a cute little scene but not be a prominent storyline. Side note – Do Benley have a foot fetish? Last week it was the shoes, and in every bedroom scene he is rubbing her feet. I mean, whatever works. I’m just wondering…
Arizona and Carina – They are having great sex, guys. They really want us to know that. Better than Eliza sex. Skilled sex. Incredible sex. And good for Arizona. Go on girl, get yours. But…I’m not invested in them yet. I want to hear about great sex with a couple I am rooting for. I need more from this to fully jump on board this ship.
Webber – I don’t think I mentioned this last week, but I am happy to see Webber back as the wise old sage.
Jolex – Yay for kissing in the elevator. And the parking lot. And Alex moving back home. Like I said last week, I love happy Jolex, but I can’t help but wonder when the other shoe will drop.
Maluca – I was a Maluca shipper before we wanted Maggie as far away from Jackson as possible. I said last week that I thought we should watch these two because of Carina telling Maggie that Andrew thinks she’s beautiful and Maggie clearly reacting to it. And in this episode, they have two scenes together, one entirely discussing their relationship that leads to, like last week, Maggie calling Webber her father. Plus, in the promo for next week, they are standing next to one another in Amelia’s room. Nothing is completely clear yet, but I still say that this may be something.
Amelia – Caterina is playing this story well. Amelia questioning every decision she has ever made over the last several years is heartbreaking. And can I just applaud the writers for moving this story along? If this story had happened last season, no one would have found out about her tumor for at least eight episodes. I cannot be more thankful for continuity and movement this season. My favorite scene was when Owen realized he was looking at Amelia’s scans. Owen moving from anger to realization to pain in seconds was captured perfectly.
Maggie/Jackson – I didn’t watch live so when I saw the tweets about Maggie touching Jackson I thought it was much bigger than what it was. There was no ambiguity in their looks. They looked uncomfortable, and he looked mildly annoyed. I have a guy at my work who hugs me without asking. I give him the same look that Jackson gave Maggie. There was no flirtation, sexual tension, or spark. Just awkwardness. The writers had to do something with this story because it was brought up in the finale, so they decided to try and make it funny. We know it is failing, and I think they do, too, whether they admit it or not. But I see why they went this route. It’s all part of fixing what was broken with the writing. The way they are “fixing” the writing issues of last season are all pretty clear: make a joke out of it (Jackson/Maggie), a brain tumor (Omelia), pretend it didn’t happen (Jolex), or correct major writing flaws (Griggs). I think that because there is such a reaction to this story, the writers thought they could bank on that and use it for comedy. They were wrong, but I see the thinking behind the decision.
Harper Avery/Jackson/April – The ONLY reason Harper Avery is in this episode is to say what he said to Jackson. He says he is there to discuss some issues he has with how the hospital has spent money, but all of that is glossed over and the focus is only on the message Harper has for Jackson. Think about it. They could have killed Harper off screen, and just told Jackson and been done with it. Instead, they purposely chose to bring him on screen and let us watch him call April Jackson’s wife and tell Jackson that he is like his father. And, I know this is controversial, but I partially agree with Harper on this. April should not have gone to Jordan the second time, but I don’t see her going as a reason for divorce. You divorce someone because they are mean, violent, a terrible person, or they cheat. You don’t divorce someone who is mentally broken over the loss of their child. She absolutely hurt him, but he used that as his way out. Whether Jackson wants to admit it or not, Robert taught him that when things are tough, you leave. And he did. Yes, he is still there physically (for now?) but he still walked away. (I am ready for the messages telling me I am wrong on that point. Go ahead. But I will always believe Jackson has some Robert Avery inside of him.) If I am right, Jackson’s journey this season began with finding and confronting his dad last season. He thought he needed to do that to deal with and close the trust and abandonment issues he has in his life, but I would argue that seeing Robert just ripped the hole inside him wide open. Finding his father after just becoming a father has sent Jackson on a journey to figure out what being an Avery means to him. Is he like Harper who seems cold, distant, and unfeeling but has unparalleled business sense and values family? Is he like Robert who always felt not quite good enough to carry the Avery name and decided it was easier on the Averys, his wife, and his child if he was no longer a part of the picture? Or is he someone else entirely? Does he have the ability to be a strong business man and a strong family man? I think Jackson will find out this season who he is as an Avery and what is ultimately important to him. He is still under the shadow of his father and grandfather, but Harper’s death will change that. We will either see a reappearance of Robert trying to step back in or Jackson stepping up and doing things his way. If I am right, I think this is the perfect story for Jackson, and this journey is necessary for him to be able to have a meaningful, lasting relationship.
We have been told April has a complicated journey this season. I think this journey started with April telling Jackson she was in pain last week and is a little clearer this week. I think April’s journey is a mental health journey. I am not saying April is crazy. Far from it. However, she has been through multiple deep traumas, and she hasn’t fully dealt with any of them. Speaking up for what SHE needed last week was the first time, maybe ever, that we have seen April make a decision with her best interests above everyone else’s. This doesn’t mean she does not love Jackson anymore or wants to move on. She clearly still loves him. But for once, she is taking care of herself. Good for her, because like Jackson’s journey, she has to fix what she is dealing with before she can be in a meaningful, lasting relationship. This episode, in a way, walked the audience and April back through many of her traumas. The brought up several of the major things April has dealt with over the years for a reason. They are reminding us what she has been through and what she still needs to deal with. We see that April is hurting from the beginning when she is (as always) a supportive friend to Arizona, even though it hurts. April has been a shoulder to lean on for many of the other characters, yet she hasn’t had one in return. Jackson is the only confidant and support she has had, but she cannot lean on him right now. The Nicole Herman mention is used as a part of Ameila’s story, but we can’t hear that name and not flash back in our minds to April and Jackson holding their dying son in that dimly lit hospital room. The Matthew flash-mob proposal mention hints at another moment that April has to be still dealing with mentally. In no way do I think she regrets marrying Jackson, but leaving Matthew, who whether you like him or not is a good man, went against everything she believes and tested her moral compass. (Side note: I saw all the tweets praying that Matthew doesn’t come back. You might see him again. Don’t make it more than what it is. Closure for April.) I think at this point April is questioning herself, her choices, her actions, and everything she believes. Because “No matter how many vows you make, you still end up in a new apartment and don’t see your kid half the time.” April believed in promises and vows and happily ever afters. But did any of that work out for her? Is that her fault? And where does she go next? In the end, the camera focuses on April as the voiceover asks, “How do we save lives when ours may be falling apart?” And that is exactly how April feels right now. Her life has fallen apart. And what is she supposed to do about it?
Jackson and April’s journeys, if I am right, are tough this season, and I think we will see them mostly face their obstacles alone. Because they need to. Jackson needs to learn how to trust, and April needs to make herself happy before they can come back together. Otherwise, they will have the same problems and end up right back where they are. For those of you that think they are done, go back and look at the scenes they were in. Japril is the underlying message, the elephant in the room, the unspoken word in most, if not all of them. Harper Avery’s dying message to Jackson was to bring his WIFE and CHILD to dinner and not to be like his father. That line is completely unnecessary to a Jackson storyline that is only about HAF and does not involve April. April easily could have helped those sixteen-year-olds go to the dance without relating it to her personal story. Sarah plays comedy well and those scenes could have been written that way if her storyline is not going to involve Jackson, but they weren’t. I see everyone’s frustration, and I get it. However, I THINK we may be at the beginning of a beautiful story of Jackson and April finding themselves, and then each other, if we are patient enough to wait for it.
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