#also the fact she was relearning all these things on her own ... she didn't really have friends before Watson

[throughpatchesofviolet]

It varies depending on the Mirror World, but LCB Sherlock received her augmentation sometime during or after college, and it took her a long time to learn how to control her newfound strength.

Her hands, arms, legs, and feet have all been augmented, so she's twice (or perhaps thrice) as strong as the average man, but it came with a small caveat--Sherry had to spend months relearning how to do even the most basic of tasks. Walking, writing, picking things up ... for a long while, anything she touched ended up broken. This isn't the case, now, of course, but ever since she received her augmentation she's had a hard time allowing herself to express physical affection--or, at least, a harder time than usual, if that's even possible.

It's not that she can't control her strength, but rather that she always fears she'll accidentally hurt someone by hugging them too tight, or crushing their hand in her grip, or even knocking then out just by patting their shoulder. It isn't until she joins Limbus Company and starts bonding with the Sinners that she starts to overcome that fear--partially because Dante can easily reverse any injuries she may cause, but also because she realizes that some of the Sinners (namely, Heathcliff and Don Quixote), tend to express affection physically through hugs or shoulder pats, and Sherry wants to reciprocate their affection.

[but-a-humble-goon]

Hey, I had a thought about Cassandra.

I haven't read any of her comics, only read the Batgirls one with the three batgirls going on their own side with that artstyle I love so much for some reason.

I know the fact that Cass speaks, and how, tend to change a lot between comics and all, and I don't know the exact lore, but I thought a bit deeper about it all from what I know.

Cain never taught Cass how to speak, right? She grew up with fighting and understanding the body as her only way to convey anything from her brain to the world. (even if she obviously learnt to understand other languages)

But languages shape how your brain understand and interact with the world. It is most noticable when someone talk a language they didn't grew speaking, there's those little mishaps or confusion of meaning and use for words that are said to be equivalent, and that's because you have to relearn a way to see and understand things.

I'd say it's even more obvious when the structure of the language changes, I don't speak any sign language, but I know how some things work, and you don't describe things the same way with it as you would with a spoken language. You have to translate the meaning because of that.

Now, to go back to Cass, she didn't grew up with either of those, at least from what I know. Her language is Body. Her mind shaped itself and its understanding of things through her and others' body. How do you translate that?

Like, she doesn't say things, she can see how others' body feel by looking at them, so she express her feeling through her body. If Cass were to want to express an emotion,her mind would first and foremost express it through her body, and that's not words, that's feelings, and your body can reflect so much mors complicated feelings than words.

My point is, if Cass was to learn her first spoken language while in her teens, it would be really hard for her to express herself in a way that is understandable. Bodies reflect intent with specific muscles, while you need to build a sentence. I know fanon make her learn ASL, which is logical from a vocal cords point of view because she never trained it to speak, but that would still make communication hard, because sign languages are still not body language.

I don't know if I get the idea across, but Cass' whole understanding of the world was built around the way bodies work, and it probably holds for animals too, which are just different, sometimes similar, body languages.

It is so intersting! You can only guess how they would understand the world!

But also, would hinder them so much in their communication. Once, if she ever, get past the training to not express any feeling, you would have someone who express anything with movement, postures, specific muscle being tensed or not. Someone one who is constantly seeing how others feel because no one knows how to prevent their bodies from having feeling.

You're on the same level as an empath as long as you can see their bodies. hiding your body allows you to not be truthful about your feeling...

I fee like I'm not going anywhere with this, but the implication over how one would share anything is wide.

It's actually addressed directly at the end of her solo book that for her it's not as easy as just learning a second language, it's a hardware problem. Her brain is so specialized for body language that it lacks the structure to even process written or verbal languages the way a typical brain can. While she can learn, it will always be much more difficult for her than anyone else.

Also the thing that makes her way of communicating unique is that it's sort of "read only." As in, since it's about reading subconscious body language signals there's no real way to consciously express yourself with it. That's part of why she's all about the arts (dancing, drawing etc) because she's never had ways to express herself properly before and words obviously don't work for her.

[cerruleanmonarch]

Relationship Call!

I haven't done one of these for a character in a long while, but I figure it's a good way to figure out where to take Lucia in terms of RP!

Basically, by liking this, you're saying you're interested in Lucia having one of these relationships with your muse. You're also giving me permission to hit you up either on tumblr DM or on Discord for plotting/discussion, and giving me permission to throw memes at you on meme day!

Friends

I'll be honest: Lucia could really use more of these. People she can be herself with, talk to, and trust. She's very much relearning how to trust and feel safe, since Spirale has changed her personal game so much from what she'd been playing back at home. Unless someone catches her with her wings out, with a few exceptions, it will take a bit of time and talking before Lucia will feel secure enough to reveal her wings, ears, and the entire fact that she's a fairy. Eventually, anyone she considers a friend will probably know she's a fairy, especially if she reaches a point where she's no longer hiding the fact. Having more friends, and people she trusts in general, will push her closer to coming entirely out of hiding.

Family

Lucia's fathers died tragically in front of her eyes, the event traumatizing enough that she lost the memories soon after. She was raised by a man who forced her to hide she was a fairy from everyone, including his daughter Kirsi, whom Lucia regarded as a close friend, even a sister, and whom Lucia grew up beside and became her Lady in Waiting when Kirsi left to marry the king. All of this is to say, Lucia is no stranger to considering someone not necessarily blood-related to her a family member. Sometimes people click in a way that goes beyond friendship, and Lucia would benefit from having people like that in her life here.

Romance

In Isola, I plan to keep Lucia single-ship. The author has specifically stated that Lucia's sexuality is unlabeled. Although in canon, Lucia has a past weirdness with the mage Norrix, and is currently nursing a mutual crush with the enchanted suit of armor Modeus, I can absolutely be convinced to do a crossover ship for her. It would need to be discussed plotted out beforehand, and I'd ideally like to see some non-romantic interaction before jumping into anything, but regardless of a character's gender, I can see Lucia falling for someone new here!

Antagonistic/Enemies

I don't foresee a lot of this, mostly because I'm just not fond of writing a lot of enmity-toned relationships and interactions. However, for as kind and accepting of people as Lucia can be, she has a deep sense of justice, she's known to have a bitter side, and boy-howdy can she hold a grudge. If you wrong her or someone she cares about, she will remember it.

Other Ideas?

Just because I didn't name it here, doesn't mean we can't do it! There's a lot going on with Lucia, including things like wing-training, trauma from home and her childhood, magic-learning, combat-training... for goodness sake, the woman can't really see romantic feelings for what they are, whether they're her own or someone else's, and yet somehow she's flirting with an enchanted suit of armor. She's got layers, and if you feel like your muse will resonate with something she has going on, lmk!

[walrus150915]

I AM DEEPLY SORRY BUT

I thought about Goldenheart fankids for a while so I've decided to make my own!

Now, it's important to acknowledge that I honestly believe that they wouldn't have kids post-movie. That makes sense thematically and it's kind of poetic if you think about it (a gay man being the end of his bloodline which started all this copaganda n stuff) but I😭😭 I couldn't stop thinking about this!!

I present to you:

THEIR KIDDO YUPIEEEEE

Some fun facts abt them:

- Aquila is a gender neutral name which means "eagle". I thought it'd be funny to keep the tradition of their weird medieval names. Eagle Braveman, a child of Godsfood Goodatsex and Staircase Braveman, gotta love that💅

- also yea. I gave them Bal's surname bc there's no way in the world Ambrosius would want to give them his surname. His bloodline ends with him in an good old gay tradition😎😎

- I think they'd be a happy accident tbh (if we're talking about seahorse dad situation shfjj)

- Nimona didn't expect to love them as much as she did but now they're literally her favorite person😭 siblings are REAL (although I think Nimona is like- sibling-uncle-aunt-family friend figure sorta kinda)

- About their personality? Well, they're reserved, not much of a talker, kinda socially awkward and overthinks a lot (just like their papas)

- They hate sports of all kinds like they CAN'T stand it. Also they don't know those knight traditions n stuff and have never held a sword in their life- I think that's a good "f u" to the system which expected children to become weapons bc Ballister, Ambrosius and especially Nimona would never let this child repeat all the stuff they all came through

- I don't think they even talked about their knightly upbringing to Aquila, and when Aquila asked about it they tried to avoid answering so bad

- About parenting btw- Ambrosius and Ballister both beat the "emotionally detached Asian father" allegations. These two are WAY too attached I'd say😭 they can be overprotective (cough cough Ballister) or overbearing (I see ya Ambrosius) sometimes (although Ambrosius is overprotective as well, if not more than Bal)

- Ambrosius tries his best to not repeat his parents' mistakes and let Aquila live a happy, relaxed childhood, but he slips from time to time. "Why did I have to work so hard to achieve even a little bit of acknowledgement from my parents and now this kid expects me to praise them even for the smallest of things" kind of deal. He slowly learns to relearn this way of thinking but- yeah, bro still has those good ol' Asian dad quirks

- I think Ballister had loving parents yet they couldn't provide for him or care for him properly because of poverty and social injustice. So now he makes sure Aquila has everything they need and are loved enough. It's really hard not to be overprotective of your child when you and your husband had an upbringing like theirs😭😭

- Aquila is kind of embarrassed by them because I think they both would be the type of dad who drives them to high school and makes them say "I love you too, dad" in front of their peers (like that into the spiderverse scene)

- With that said, they three all love each other despite all the hardships and stuff bc they're a FAMILYYYYY

- Nimona would be THE best person in the world for Aquila, she's their role model of sorts, I even think she'd be what helped them to realize they're enby in the first place

- Nimona would always be there for Aquila and would always be on their side even when they're in a fight with their dads

- They're the best buddies ever - Ballister expected Nimona to be jealous ("older kids of the fam" deal) but she wasn't in the slightest!

- Imagine Ballister and Ambrosius trying to make Aquila say "abba" or "appa", but the first thing they mumble is "Nim!" oh Nimona would DIE FROM LAUGHTERRR😭😭

Some general hcs:

- Ambrosius would read bedtime stories to Aquila when they were a kid and would miss this horribly as they grew up

- Ballister would make them clockwork toys

- Aquila loves sewing and customizing things

- Idk their sexuality honestly but I know that they love girls💅

- Ambrosius would distance himself from his family so much that Aquila barely knows them

- I think Aquila is aware of the whole Gloreth situation but doesn't care that much for her - after all, they know that it was some random kid 1000+ years ago whom everyone took as a hero when she wasn't

Some sketches of them shshwjne!!

Please don't ask me why Ballister looks like my grandpa😭

(Speaking of Ballister- I think at some point of Aquila's toddlerhood him and Ambrosius laid in their bed and Ambrosius was like: "Babe, what do you think of getting a second kid?"

Then Aquila immediately started crying in another room and Ambrosius signed heavily, standing up from the bed: "Yknow what? Forget what I said")

[kainagant]

I've reblogged stuff about like "send more asks!" before and I've decided to be the change I wish to see in the world SO

personally I like sniperhaul as a platonic pairing, not least because i see them both as Gay In The Wrong Direction. like in my mind they're constantly bickering but also refuse to leave each others' sides for more than a day because they both went through the same shit. they don't even dislike each other they're just constantly lowkey fighting for no reason other than habit

Also like. opinions on Bakugo Mitsuki/Tsutsumi Kaina? both in the sense of 'how would these two very different adult women interact' and in the sense of bakugo "i'm gonna be the number 1 hero at all costs" katsuki having tsutsumi "the hero system is fundamentally corrupt and being a hero is shit actually" kaina

(have i sent you an ask before? i think i might have)

hey there! i've never received an ask on this blog before, from you or anyone else, as its only like two weeks old. congrats on being the first 🎉🎉 (if you did send me an ask before, then tunglr ate it)

honestly chisaki kai is one of those characters that i perceive as aroace, which is like fifty percent me projecting and the other fifty is vibes. so whatever pairing i put him in is closer to a queerplatonic relationship than anything else. this is honestly the case for all shipping i do because i'm very aromantic but it's not always on purpose. but i'm also a shameless multishipper and i think that there's no single most correct pairing or even a single correct interpretation of said pairing.

this is all to say i love your take on sniperhaul. i definitely imagine them as the kind of duo who are always being catty with each other. borderline just pure rude if it weren't for the fact that the reason why they can banter freely is because of how well they understand each others' boundaries.

i feel like i have seen kaina/bakugo's mom fics and went. h u h. if you have any recs then i'll definitely read them. i think i was looking for something specific at the time so i scrolled past but now that you bring it up again i'm definitely intrigued. in regards to my first impressions of the pairing though. to be honest there's not a lot of canon information on mitsuki. her personality is assumed to be basically just katsuki but more chill. however i also think that the mothers of feral anime boys deserve to be even more feral because after ren gyokuen from magi something in my brain chemistry was permanently changed. so i'm just going to take liberties here and write mitsuki a personality that's not just "bakugo katsuki's mom".

so its obvious that katsuki takes after her, and she seems to understand that a lot of his mannerisms come from her. so i think she was one hell of a teenager. her quirk basically makes her have flawless skin. mitsuki was the definition of it girl. sorry she can't answer the phone she's at a party. maybe she even hooked up with kaina in college. if you really want to drive the katsuki connection in hard, maybe she was even a bit of a mean girl. though i think she wasn't as problematic as katsuki because she didn't have people feeding her ego constantly in the same way. anyway this is all to say that i think mitsuki mellowed out a lot with age. but she definitely still has something of a youthful spirit leftover from her heyday. her skin can be a metaphor for that.

if mitsuki is a woman who has held onto her youth, kaina is a woman who lost her youth early on. the phrase 'old beyond her years' applies here. she doesn't know how to be a teenager anymore. she forgot. what is it like to not spend every night haunted by the lives she took with her own hands? she doesn't remember.

when they meet then mitsuki takes one look at kaina and tries to ask her out for a drink. it's a small thing, but slowly, kaina is relearning how to be a person and not a weapon. mitsuki is showing her how. and mitsuki can't really understand what makes kaina miserable, what makes kaina wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. but mitsuki can stay awake with her. she can hold her close and say. hey. you're more than whatever you see when you look at your own hands. anyway this got really long. i'm just making stuff up on the fly but yeah they could have that kind of dynamic.

ok ok. cracks knuckles. kaina and katsuki. the thing is that they have surface similarities i think. "so how should i solve this problem i have…" kaina and katsuki both stare at me like im fucking stupid "blow its brains out??" there's a duh here. they're both the kind of person who is smarter than other people assume based off of first impressions. but that's only because they're the straight arrow type. there's no fucking around the point with these two, they're blunt and very goal focused. they tend to hyperfocus on whatever they're currently trying to do, and they don't stop to wonder if it's wrong or just a liiiitle fucked up. cue the rude awakening.

you mentioned bakugo's hero thing vs kaina's hero thing, but i think that they're not as at odds as one might think. bakugo's hero thing was never a "save everyone" shirou emiya style (thats midoriya's patent). he admired all might because all might was always victorious. kaina probably wouldn't have a strong opinion one way or another. he's obviously missing something to make him a "true hero" or whatever. but she's not stain, for goodness sake. the whole idea of there being a perfect hero feels incredibly fake to her. if anything, katsuki's honest "i'm going to win to save people" approach might be more genuine than some fragile idealism that he can't actually back up. actually. to be honest, katsuki would be exactly the kind of hero that kaina wants to see more of. he doesn't mince words or pretend to be more righteous than anyone else. full transparency: he can be kinda a dick. but if society is going to employ heroes than people need to understand that heroes are people too, and yeah. people can be dicks. pardon my french. i'm channeling katsuki.

i don't think kaina would care one way or another that katsuki is striving for number one. the hero rankings were never really a thing to her. kaina's problem with hero society wasn't the same problem as what stain had. i think people assume that it is, because stain kinda had half of a point, except for the culling the fakes thing. but i think kaina would very much disagree with stain. because stain wanted more pure heroes. he wanted to exalt the ideal hero, put them above everyone else. and kaina just wanted heroes to get off their high horse and admit that they aren't perfect. nobody is.

deep breath. so yeah. thanks for the ask. thanks for reading my incoherent rambles too, assuming you got this far. hopefully i actually answered your questions, but if i didn't then sorry, this definitely got away from me. i also followed you back from my mainblog, so cheers to being mutuals. i'll try to send you a bunch of asks too, since 🤝 be the change you want to see in the world.

[skyfallscotland]

I would love to hear more about your writing style and how you plan the over arching storyline. You’ve mentioned that you don’t write linearly, so how do you keep everything straight?

Do you have a cohesive idea of the big picture, or is it more of a bunch of scenes bouncing around that you need to find a way to weave together? How do you know what is chapter 18 versus chapter 10 versus chapter 4? I’ve also seen you mention that Remi is high functioning autistic, and you’ve tagged a few things as nuro spicy. I gather that a lot of your writing is deeply reflective of your own lived experiences and now I’m wondering how Remi’s going to manage relearning history if her author likes to jump around this much!

in any case, thank you again for blessing us with this work - I’m going on vacation next week and am very excited to do my first reread!

So basically I'll have an overarching idea and some scenes in my head already and then everything else will just happen as I go.

So for T&T I know

what I want to do with the Varrish situation

what I want to do at Tecarus' place

what I want to do with Melgren/Samara/the final battle

and how I want their relationship to go

how it's going to end

So there's a few pivotal scenes in my head already and then there's things like

how Papa Sorrengail died

how Lilith really feels about Remi

how Violet will react to her sister this time around

how Remi will react to RSC

and I basically just try and weave them all together as I go. I keep notes in my phone in a linear-fashion and if I think of something I'll slot it into the 'timeline' but in saying I write non-linearly, it's more like...I get demand avoidance, right? So if I'm up to RSC but my brain just doesn't want to initiate, instead of screeching to a halt, I'll write for example a scene regarding Papa Sorrengail's death, put it to the side and come back to it later and fit it in somewhere.

So when I say 10 vs 18 vs 4, it's like, I've actually written up to 18, I have 18 chapters, but my brain might later go oh wait, you want this in here, and then I have to go back and change things or weave things in, so while I have 18 chapters, 4 could then become 5 and push each one along so I have 19. I hope that makes sense?

I tend to write more of a character/emotion driven story so that definitely helps because I'm really just weaving a little plot around all the feels.

Remi is very, very deeply reflective of me and my lived experiences, more than any other FMC I've ever written. I think every writer puts pieces of themselves in their work, but Remi in particular I put so much of my soul into. Fear & Flame was a very cathartic experience, I wrote it for me and I was honestly surprised so many people liked it. I almost didn't post it at all.

I've always felt like Remi. It was only once I learned that I could be on the spectrum that I started figuring out why I am the way I am and do the things I do, and also, really, why most people don't like me. And that's not like, me feeling sorry for myself, it's just a fact, most people don't. It's why it feels kind of special whenever someone tells me they see themselves in her.

Because Remi is so logical, she's just pushing everything to the side and going 'ok, this is what I know is true because I've seen it with my own eyes' and working from there. Honestly in T&T part one, she's a little too busy to even think about it, but she's definitely asking questions. I think it's this, that separates her so much from Violet. She won't let things go and she will ask whatever questions pop into her head a lot of the time (which is tough because we don't have too much history/lore to work with).

Honoured to be your vacation reading! Haha, I hope you have a nice time! 🖤

[damienthepious]

I would love to hear a fic commentary about the most recent sage damien chapter, especially those first few bits of the conversation between Rilla and Damien if you’re up for it! It’s such a mysterious fic, I am so completely normal about it all the time :)

[ask me for commentaries about bits and pieces of my ficssss]

i've decided not to be normal about it i've decided to be SO INSANE ABOUT IT instead :3

[When the song finishes, she pauses, and then Damien feels her hands move again. "Oh," she says, surprised. "Oh no. It's alright, hey-"]

I don't know EXACTLY what Rilla was expecting, but a very pretty young man humming the lullaby her parents used to sing her, and then crying when she sang it back, was DEFINITELY not on the list

[The hand over his chest raises, palm curving to cup his cheek, her thumb skating over his skin and brushing the tears away as she tsks gently at the back of her throat. Damien can see her, now, slowly resolving, and the familiarity is so strong that he can almost place it. He swallows, and then he tries to arrange his tongue properly in his mouth.]

Their whole first physical meeting was a bit of a tightrope walk, for me. Damien's confusion coming back to himself paired with Rilla... literally never having seen Damien's body despite having some conversations with him- that was always going to be a bit odd. The fact that Damien was also relearning how his body works, like, LITERALLY coming back to understanding how eyes and ears, sight and sound, work while in a physical body that ISN'T being held in magical stasis- well, the fact that it takes the poor kid a minute or two to recognize Rilla really isn't that surprising, i don't think.

also also Rilla physically comforting him is so.... heck. Alas Damien is a little hypersensitive at the moment, considering all the (waves hand).

["Gentle spirit," Damien breathes, surprised by the shimmering lightness of his words carried on air again, the fluting of his own voice.]

kid has only heard words that sounded at least a LITTLE bit like they were coming through water for years now, and that goes double for his own voice

["Oh, spirit, has my Saint sent you to lift me from my slumber at the riverbed?"]

and literally EVERY part of his existence has been Saint-touched since he got tossed in his River. He really doesn't know how to contextualize his life outside of that, at least not yet. Also like... why the heck else would someone grab him?? there's no one left to care about him as a person. his mom and aaron are dead, and his father left him to drown.

[The woman blinks. Her lips part, and her mouth hangs open in a little o of surprise as she stares at him for a long moment.

"That…" she pauses, exhales, and shakes her head. "Can't- I know that voice, I- you can't be."]

Rilla is quick! Rilla is sharp! But also, Rilla likes things to MAKE SENSE. the fact that this stranger has a voice that sounds REMARKABLY similar to the weird possibly-ghost force that she hasn't been able to contact in months..... SEEMS like an insane coincidence, or otherwise wishful thinking. That's much more likely, isn't it? She resists the connection first. Also, honestly, part of why she dove in was because she was thinking about Damien, about how he wouldn't let someone drown, and about how he's been nowhere to be found for months.... and...... she didn't want to let someone drown in Damien's river. Not if she could help it.

[The familiarity settles, resolves. So strange, for her to touch him. To remain still as she does. He finds his tongue again. It is becoming easier, as all things do with repetition.]

and Rilla recognizing him helps Damien figure out how he recognizes HER! feedback loops 💖 he's also weirded out by physical contact that doesn't immediately rubber-band him back to his body. Because he's IN his body.

["What is it that you think I cannot be?" he asks, his inflection bouncing in a way that he cannot entirely control.]

there's a level here of playfulness, and a level of earnestness. Damien not knowing what he IS has turned into a running theme, so seeking an answer about what he shouldn't be is... a little bit related. also i'm obsessed with the musicality of Damien's voice tho i have not listened to the actual podcast in a long while now and i like highlighting that. matthew zahnzinger <3

["Once you called me ghost, I think. Surely, Rilla, this is less strange than that, is it not?"]

A little hint, a little glimmer of playful!Damien!!! He's still in there, he's still himself.... and also, typical, he's MUCH more willing to accept magic and weirdness than Rilla. Even more so than his canon counterpart, for obvious reasons lmaoooo

[She chokes on a breath, a laugh that almost sounds panicked, and her hand squeezes his. "Damien? I- saints, I haven't seen you in months, I thought you'd disappeared completely-"]

Playing with time while Damien was in his River was fun, for me. The first time Rilla "saw" ghost!Damien was probably more than a full year ago at this point. His position was... similar to dreaming? he existed in varying degrees of consciousness, whilst soggy. He expended a TON of energy the last time he saw her, pushing himself into a more "present" state, and he's been unknowingly recovering from that for the intervening months. Poor Rilla was worried. Thought she'd never see him again.

But. Well. it's not like he could drown, is it? :3c

[psychologeek]

So, on my last fic I added somethings from my personal experience, as both disabled (though I don't use a wheelchair) and past youth at risk. And just, it got important to me, and I wanted to share it.

It's Barbara Gordon focused, and even though it's not JUST about her recovery, it's still part of it.

And it's just - it's really important to me. You CAN grieve what you'll never be, and what might have been taken from you. And you CAN be happy and proud as a disabled person. And both CAN co-exist at the same time.

I'm proud to be who I am (mostly). I think I'm going to a good place in life. But it doesn't change the fact that sometimes I hate the fact I need help in things, or the way my brain works, or how people don't seem to understand when I say-this is HARD for me.

And it's something that we can't usually show out. Bc when the world keep pushing you down, telling you you're wrong, unworthy, unable - you can only FIGHT or surrender. So we go out there, saying "no, I'm strong! No, I can do this! I'm great! I wouldn't change a thing!" And sometimes it's true. And sometimes it's less true, but we can't tell this to "outsiders" bc THEY DON'T GET IT.

Anyway, this is my take on Barbara Gordon. I hope you like this.

There are things (walking, running, grappling through the city at night, wind in her hair- ) she'll never do again. Other skills (dressing, washing, moving from one place to another-) she had to re-learn, finding new ways to do what was so easy before. It's been years, and she graduated college, even with the injury. (Study on painkillers, reading while doing the PT exercise). She got a job as a librarian. She learned new skills (rolling, coding, how to be the eye-in-the-sky, and coordinating big and small teams-). She's not the same person as she was. ("You evolved", grins the fifteen years old little shit who still lives, rent-free, in her head. "You're like a fucking Pokemon!")

I'm not a wheelchair user, but I had to use one for a few days last month. I use forearm crutches sometimes, for injuries or chronic pain. And I just thought it would be nice to add how much accessibility aids are AMAZING. Like, being disabled is hard - but it's not bc of the aids we need. On the contrary. Mobility (and other) aids HELP US. I love using crutches, bc it means less pain on bad days. It means I CAN leave my house, even during bad days. noise-blocking Headphones mean I can be around people even when things are harder.

I also tried to respect the grief and sadness about things that she can't do, or had to relearn how to do (differently) while showing it's not the end. It's hard, but things are possible.

[I hope it makes sense. Thinking is a little hard now]

***

The Back Room and Shelter are inspired by places I used to go as a teen. The BR, especially, is based on a specific YaR center that was my safe place, my shelter, during difficult times as a teen. When I didn't, couldn't trust anyone they were there. When I ran away, when I was homeless, they helped with food and getting housing.

They'll never read it, but thank you for being there.

[secretxxpaladaiseu]

send BLUSHED for a scene from my muse's past in which they received a compliment that really got to them { for Hajime }

Hajime's life had become anything but easy. In fact, he didn't know his life to be anything but difficult. Amnesia was good for that, for wiping out everything. That's what had happened to the young man. He woke up in a hospital bed, not knowing anything. So it felt, at least. He didn't recognize any of the faces around him, nor did he recognize any of the names being mentioned. He didn't even recognize his own name when his mother called it out for the first time.

Waking up felt like the beginning of the end for him. He was a giant baby, having to relearn nearly everything. Even the most basic of things like feeding himself, and not spilling a glass of water when he took a sip. His hands had to relearn how to properly grip things, and his feet had to learn how to walk again. Well, that's what the nurses were saying at first…It was an opinion that changed as the days went on and doctors began better evaluating him.

Whatever had happened to him, it very much destroyed his body. Nerves and muscles were heavily damaged, and he needed more surgery before he could even dream about being a functional human being. His body was very nearly just a shell, and physical therapy couldn't even begin for what could be months if not a couple of years. While everyone elses suffering had come to an end, Hajime's was just beginning.

The months began, and they turned into years. Surgery, bad news, surgery, bad news, more surgery with slightly better news…It was all a cycle at this point, but he was excited when he was finally able to start physical therapy. While he had already been working on basic motions, now he was able to work on strengthening his body. Of course, to a point. Doctors still didn't believe that he could reach any sort of normalcy. They didn't believe he would be able to do anything that required dexterity or grip because of the damage.

He started proving them wrong, though. It took a long while, but he finally started learning how to play the guitar. Being in the hospital constantly, he had nothing else to do for now. As a source of entertainment, he convinced someone claiming to be a friend to bring him a guitar and teach him. He was horrible at first, barely able to hold down the strings along the frets much less properly play a chord. Still, he was determined to be able to do something. Anything.

He was 21 years old when he started. Nearly three years since the incident. Three years since his reset button had been rather violently smashed and he tried learning the guitar.

He was 23 when he finally could play a song. It was something simple, an easy children's song that he practiced for well over six months. It was a two minute song. One of the most basic of songs to learn on any instrument. Finally, though, he was able to play it.

Hajime didn't know how many times he had played the song at that point, but he had played it what felt like constantly. At the moment, he was just focusing on that song. He was focusing on playing that song. It wasn't until he finished that he heard the applause from the nurse that had walked in, his head snapping up as he heard her. His face turned red as he set the guitar aside, the nurse beaming proudly at him.

"Hajime, you did it! You did it! That was amazing, Hajime…Keep playing. You're going to be amazing one day."

He wasn't sure how to take the compliment in it's entirety. She was complimenting his skills, when he was only playing the most basic of songs. Of course, she had also been there for his entire progress so far, so she knew how big of a moment this was. She knew that playing the guitar was more than a hobby, and more than physical therapy…It was gaining part of himself .

"I mean it, Hajime. Keep playing every day."

Now, Hajime was 25 years old and he had taken that nurse's advice to heart. Her compliments rang through his head even now as he worked as a studio musician. He played the guitar for his livelihood, his career. Something that had been deemed impossible by doctors 4 years ago.

[a-tale-of-legends]

I wonder if I should make Eva and Elliot slightly more dramatic? Still overall healthier, but how they get there is different. Like. ( this ended up longer that I thought lol)

Eva gains a crush on Elliot. It's unrequited(?) -> Eva starts dating Yancy. Tries to be all in but it's kinda clear she's still hung up on Elliot, but neither of them wanna talk about it and want things to work. Elliot and Bianca are dating and are...fine. Childhood crushes turned into something more...but Elliot seems to be spreading herself thin, particulary with Alexis. Always seems to be walking on eggshells and isn't like her usual self. Bianca, of course, notices -> Bianca: I think for your sake in mind, we should break up. Elliot: What. -> Elliot is kinddddaaa miserable now. Brother isn't talking to her, Bianca broke up with her, and she still has a lot of unspoken trauma from her time in BW. She has Cheren and her (service) dog at least. -> Eva feels utterly terrible that the first thought she had when she heard Bibi and Elliot broke up was " oh I have a chance!" and not " aw, my friends must be really upset right now :(". She broke things off with Yancy when it really settled in that the relationship was just end up hurting Yancy more, and Yancy didn't deserve that. Now both girls are miserable -> both girls pour themself into work. Eva tries to avoid Elliot, but Elliot keeps bumping into her which is NOT helping at all. -> At some point, Elliot does ask Eva if she did something, and eva confesses that she's just been having a hard time lately ( which. isn't a total lie). Elliot offers support, because of course she does, and Eva can't bring herself to push Elliot away -> their friendship grows stronger over time, and somewhere within in Elliot starts to catch feelings. Eva just feels baaaaaaaaad. Yancy and her's break up was still on her mind, what led to that break up is in her mind whenever Eva smiles at her. She thinks if Elliot knew the truth, she would hate her forever. But keeping it in feels so terrible. And Elliot always appreciated honesty so....-> she stalls a bit. But it's for a good reason! She wants to talk to Bianca and Yancy, clear the air, make amends if needed. Bianca was understanding- she even gave Eva her blessing. Yancy was the tough one. I imagine the conversation was long and tough. But it was needed. Dragons, was it needed. -> After alllll of that, Eva tells Elliot everything.

Eva:- soooo yeah. That's everything. I understand if you don't want to hang out anymore-

Elliot: You know you make it seem that you did the worst thing humanly possible. But you didn't?

Eva: Wha- I was happy when you and bianca broke up! When I had a girlfriend!

Elliot: Yeah that's shitty. But that's when you realized you needed to stop things, right? We all have our ugly moments.

Eva: ....You can't be that forgiving.

Elliot: I'm not! But I'm also not the one who's wondering if I should forgive you or not. That's Yancy.

Eva: ...Yeah.

Elliot: I'd rather be the one to take you out for dinner, and listen to you talk about whatever.

Eva: ( snorts) Smooth.

Elliot: I know! Soooo?

Eva: ( sighs, smiling) Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.

I want to say that Eva and Yancy do work things out! Both Elliot and Eva have their own issues to work out, but they work through them together!!!! Knowing myself and seeing the fact I made a long post about it this might???? Be how they get together, but also who knows, I'm still on the hoenn arc of relearning my characters

[joshuaalbert]

original post was from feb 24 for those without dates on and like. clearly i had not learned yet that i was thinking too hard about this show, but i kinda wanted to revisit this because i feel like this was the last point where the show still could have been. decent? i don’t think the writing is strong enough on a technical level for me personally to ever find it good, and i would've never loved the general premise, but it would have lacked a lot of the frankly concerning undertones about biological family being the only thing that counts and the only way to be truly fulfilled in life.

maybe picard as a character does have kind of old fashioned ideals to start with about what constitutes family and how a person can have a legacy. given that there are some other things he's old fashioned about, and that this idea is kind of introduced towards the end of tng s7 and in generations, i can see it being a throughline. however, the show largely chose to validate his views, rather than challenge them. yes, there's still sort of the implication carried over from the tng finale that the tng crew is picard's family, but the emphasis on biological children throughout the season has the effect of framing it more as "you can Also have a chosen family in addition to a biological one, but you need a biological family to be fulfilled" rather than "chosen family can be equally important." besides being an ultimately regressive message, i think the story itself would be better if this idea was challenged more.

making it so jack was not picard's biological son would have removed jack from the center of the universe, a position he was only in because of his genetics. he’s not that strong a character as he exists now, mostly relying on archetypes and stock tropes, and he consumes a lot of the runtime. yes, there probably would have to be something fundamentally up with him to warrant beverly keeping him away from everyone for 20 years, but there are other options that wouldn’t require him being quite as central as he has to be for the borg plot. because his entire role in the story ideally wouldn't just be to exist and have special genes, he could be helpful on his own merits as beverly’s son and a medical expert and a criminal, rather than those elements just being cool backstory that never impacts his actions. use him to start the conversation about family and legacy, but don’t have him be the entire conversation the way he is now.

and maybe picard ultimately does still have to save him as part of the climax, but it's a choice he makes because he has come to genuinely care about and connect with jack despite not being his biological father. it depends on them actually forming a bond based on who they are as people, rather than solely depending on the fact that they share dna. to make their interactions resonate, they would have had to make jack an actual character, and given him and picard motivations to want to get to know each other at all other than blood.

being in conflict with picard also would have given beverly something to do other than be sad when bad things happen to the men in her life and fire weapons (because obviously that's what makes a good character 🙄) ideally we don't go for the whole borg plotline at all and there's an aspect of the alternate plot that she can do more in, but i like the idea of them having to relearn how to work together after 20 years and experiences that have made them very different people, especially now that they each feel a little betrayed by the other. i didn't feel like they really had a relearning curve (or ultimately a particularly interesting dynamic at all after like...episode 2), so this would have added some conflict and character development to those really slow middle episodes.

this also would have opened the door to bring back characters from earlier plotlines, because picard has had father/son dynamics with people before, despite them trying to downplay all of them. bring wesley back as an acknowledgement of how important that dynamic was, maybe in a way picard is only realizing in retrospect now that he is being forced to confront his ideas of family (this also allows for more examination of the crusher family dynamic with jack in the mix, which could have been so much more interesting than it was). bring back at least some subset of the s1/2 characters that were so thoroughly abandoned people had to find out they were alive from the showrunner's twitter. bringing in jack doesn't have to overwrite those bonds, but could be a catalyst for picard realizing how important they truly were. he already had a family and a legacy that had nothing to do with having a biological child, and we could end with him realizing he's happy with that.

obviously there are picard s3 fixes that would require an entirely different premise, and could be a lot better, but i think even with their setup there was a potentially interesting story to be told here. it just...largely wasn't the one they went for.

ok I said I wasn’t gonna speculate but I’m speculating.

it’s possible jack ii is actually picard’s son and that’s where the mystery ends but tbh I think the fact that beverly never actually said anything is going to come into play. I could see it coming out that he’s not actually picard’s son and him being like “why did you tell me he was?” and her going “I never told you he was, you assumed and I wasn’t going to correct that assumption when it was the only way to be sure you were going to save his life,” which then sets them up for a couple different avenues of conflict (he feels lied to and like he doesn’t know her/can’t entirely trust her anymore, she’s potentially upset that he would’ve. let her son die if they weren’t blood related. so they could bring in that whole idea of like what counts as family which is stupid we should’ve been done with this like 35 years ago but it would be an improvement).

and like i do feel like that’s in character for this version of her I could very much see her not wanting to outright lie to him, but using his assumptions to save her younger son’s life, especially when she already sort of lost the first one? I could absolutely see that.

maybe they really were just going for like wow even after all this time they can communicate without words in which case I’ll put on my clown shoes or whatever but I in combination with the whole “it’s been 20 years you don’t know her as well as you think you do” thing…I do kinda think she’s playing him (for completely understandable reasons because it’s a dick move to be like well I was gonna let your son die but now I won’t because I think he shares some of my genetic material)

[karudsbip]

this was meant to be a two or three sentence thought but it got super long so this is my post-berseria rambling thoughts post

even though he's... kind of a shitty bitch... i do think i still love artorius. especially especially especially how his arc contrasted with velvet's. both of them were shattered by the loss of their loved ones, but they were given different paths for their grief to motivate them to go down. velvet was pitied by a guilty seres who recognized that what artorius was doing was wrong, and so given an opportunity to seek her revenge against him. along the way, she healed sort of... accidentally, as a side effect of having to rely on others to achieve her goal. in the end, she was able to recognize the beauty in both the good and bad aspects of humans. artorius, on the other hand, was dragged by melchior into externalizing his despair and forcing it upon the rest of the world in an attempt to save them. so... velvet started out seeking to kill, and didn't care what she had to destroy to do it, but eventually became humanity's savior, while artorius started out trying to save humanity (and also didn't care what he had to do to do it), and ended up nearly destroying it. i could be way off the mark, but artorius and his efforts really really really seemed like a metaphor for depression. during the suppression, the most blatant example of this was people committing suicide en-masse because they considered themselves unredeemable, but there were also people who could no longer take care of their pets and let them starve to death, and people giving up on their passions. overall it kind of seems like this game's biggest theme (or, at least, the one that resonated most with me) is the question of "is life worth living after your happiness is stolen away from you?"

the abbey's answer would be "no," of course, and they serve as a stand-in for the position of giving up on happiness to avoid the pain that inevitably comes with it

velvet, aifread's crew, and laphicet's answers would be "yes," with aifread's crew holding a pretty explicit position of "who cares if me and my friends die, it's worth it to live the way that makes us happy"

magilou's in a really unique position in all this, as she was formerly a member of the abbey, and a big part of her character is the fact that she's... pretty dead inside. despite that though, she seems almost desperate to relearn how to live as opposed to just be alive. i don't really have much more specific to say about her, but that was my impression

melchior was a dumb bitch. he was motivated by stupid "progress of humanity" garbage. im glad he died like a clown.

after thinking about it this much, i think i have a clearer idea of why i latched onto this game so hard. it asks the same question ive been asking myself for a few years now, and many of the characters did exactly what ive been trying to do that whole time. what i said about magilou earlier was informed pretty much entirely by my own experiences, which is funny, because someone very important to me told me im a lot like her. i didn't understand why until know, and im not quite sure if it was a lucky guess or if they know me a lot better than i had thought

this game really was an amazing experience for me, and it's kind of funny to think that i just started playing it on a whim. it's the kind of thing that makes me wonder if stuff really does happen for a reason. while i was... acquiring it... i was having some difficulties, and i asked myself if it would be worth all the trouble. and it was! it really really was! ive never been able to call a game my favorite game before, but this is it. im just so glad i tried it. it's pretty exceedingly rare for me to play games to completion, too.

i have a lot more on my mind, but there's really nothing more i can say right now.

kamige!!!

[silver-wield]

You gotta love how they assume a POS like Hojo gives two shits about things like consent and would let Cloud and Aerith fall in love organically and have a baby. Because you know, when you're held captive agaibst your will and essentially told that the onky way of escaping is to make a baby, a literal living human being, who will also be held against their will for god knows what, you'd agree to Hojo's plan enthusiastically. Are they forgetting that Hojo planned on mating Aerith and Red XIII? Do they know who they're applauding here?

Yuck yuck yuck it's giving "it's not rape if you're married" vibes. Like just because you love someone doesn't mean you're ready for sex 24/7. Which is why we'd still feel hatred towards Hojo if Tifa were in Aerith's place. Tifa having feelings for Cloud does not mean she's gonna jump his bones without checking in with him first. They need to relearn what "there's a time and a place for everything" means. Like, no, this scene being shot in a dimly lit room and an already established creepy scientist isn't supposed to be read as romantic. No, it won't really be consensual sex because for that, you'd need full control over your choice. Aerith's freedom, which is her birthright, literally relies on that choice. And tbh do we even know if Aerith ever wanted children? If not, then congratulations CAs, you're praising a man for forcing impregnation onto a woman who probably didn't even want kids. And again, why are they talking about CA having a baby in this situation like it's a good thing? One of them literally said Hojo will take the baby and brushed it off like it's some minor inconvenience. These clowns have me heated over a fictional story and I'm letting them, smh

The person in the last screenshot basically said "fuck any victims of sexual assault who were mentally traumatized i guess" Rape isn't defined as a crime in which someone is battered and bruised before their consent is disregarded and forced to have sex. It's just defined as forcing someone to have sex without their consent (and in some countries it has to be defined as forced penetration without consent) Either way, that's still one big middle finger to those who were forced to have sex while they were asleep or unconscious, revoking consent during sex, and several other scenarios where one isn't "physically harmed" in the way that person was implying. If someone isn't confident in their choice to have sex with someone and/or their choice to have sex isn't their own, it's rape plain and simple. No amount of excuses is going to change the fact that no matter who Aerith is paired up with in that scenario, her choice isn't truly her own because Hojo has all the power and control. Even if it were Zack, it still wouldn't be okay because their freedom would be on the line if they don't, if they had a chance to gain their freedom at all

Calli is definitely someone who believes if they're married it's not rape. I mean, she's the one saying if it's love it's not rape. I don't even know where to start with that sickening mindset she has. Hopefully she'll take all the sickos with her when she leaves.

[bittybattybunny]

Why does it look like there are NAILS piercing THOUGH Mira's soul? Because that does not look healthy. Also, Merlin, you need to relearn basic things like recognizing certain social situations, and realizing that things that aren't your fault are a thing. Also, why didn't ot occur to him that height difference can make it hard for her to kiss him? That, and the fact that he apparently freaked out over Mira not hugging him as much in front of Black⭐Star amuses me. A gosh dang lot.

There are nails piercing through Mira’s Soul and it’s 100% not healthy and they are trying their best to remove them but they’ve been there so long it’s a rough game. Mira has her own set of issues. Like she’s a really good girl but man has her soul been put through a ringer by her father mother and brother. (She’s a Kishin risk for a reason)

Yeahhhh he does get better. Thankfully he’s not as like. Emotionally Immature/Tsundere as like when I’m writing Snatcher for AHIT. Like Mira and Merlin have a pretty good level of communication between them and he is able to relearn pretty fast how he’s meant to be. it does help to have people not treat you as an annoyance. Because most start treating him as just another person which is great. Like he’s even able to start joking around with the others, and even some folks who knew him prior can see how he’s opened up. (Hana and Shin think it’s great he’s actually allowed to. Well be a normal guy. They know he’s been stunted since he became the holy sword and the parents they are got worried. So seeing him screw around like the 20something he is mentally made them relax a lot. Even when hana is chatting with the fragment of Eibon the two agree it’s a good thing he’s opening up. They have never seen him so happy as he is in Fuller.)

Because he’s stupid. he got so used to his old form he constantly forgets he’s like 6 feet tall and slams his head on door frames. Like he burned the apartment down because he forgot how to cook pasta. It’s been a hot minute since he was as tall as he is and just isn’t used to it anymore. Heck he even has a moment because Mira starts using him to hide from people when they walk. (Mira is terribly afraid of people) But it made him very happy for her to rely on him like that.

The thing with the kisses too is Mira just would give him little pecks on the nose/bill/beak/thing all the time or just the top of his head. Before he’s able to be human again she pretty much just carried him in her arms all the time. so it was super easy for her to just give him a lil kiss.

He got so used to that it’s why he freaked out he made her mad XD She also just. Was always holding him so when he’s human to him she feels distant because he got so used to the constant contact. he forgot she really can’t just do that when he’s a good foot taller than her. (Well. Mira can lift him. She’s just to shy to do that.)

yeah XD it doesn’t help that BlackStar and Tsubaki are the go-to people Mira tends to call when she needs help (Tsubaki is actually the one who started teaching Mira to read. Excalibur took over teaching her when he partnered with her, but Mira stayed close friends with the pair. Which is hilarious because Maka and Soul TERRIFY her. For a good reason. They are the ones who captured her and brought her to the DWMA. She’s also understandably terrified of Death the Kid.) Like when Excalibur first became human again he actually ran out of the apartment leaving Mira without any answer to what happened. The poor girl had a small break down and BlackStar and Tsubaki are who she called in tears.

I’m not saying Blackstar actively threatens Excalibur. But he does.

[otome--fantasy]

Hey guys

I know I haven't posted anything since the weekend and I had really wanted to, but right now I'm not in a good headspace.

Wednesday night my dog got out of our yard and was hit by a car. I found her in our driveway alive, but she went downhill fast at the emergency clinic just minutes after my fiance and I had told her goodnight and promised her we would pick her up in the morning. The staff did all they could to bring her back, but they were unable to, and had no choice but to let her go.

Trigger warning for death and gruesome descriptions

I'm so broken up about it, and I feel horrible. I came out from a long shower and looked through my window after getting dressed, and saw her laying down in our driveway next to the road. She knows she's not supposed to leave the yard so I called her back expecting her to run back under the gate in a hurry but what I saw made my stomach drop.

My poor baby attempted to drag herself closer to the gate and couldn't use her back legs. I ran to her and saw she had wounds everywhere. At first I thought the neighbors dog (who wasn't exactly friendly towards other dogs and was known to wander up and down the streets) had gotten to her and tore her up like she did with one of my other dogs, but when I picked her up all I could do was scream her name and call for my parents and fiance as I carried her back into the house because her entire hind end was limp like a ragdoll, her mouth looked like it was bleeding, and her breathing was raspy.

At first everyone had thought some one had attacked her (several people have both attempted to lure her out of our yard and expressed how they didn't appreciate her barking and growling at them through our fence). I sat down on the couch with her in my arms and cried harder when I felt the rest of her go limp, because oh my god I thought I was too late and she was going to die in my arms.

I remember it all so vividly and it all just keeps playing over and over again in my head. I can be doing anything, but all I'll see is the moment I picked her up and my screaming.

I just hugged her as close to me as I could, and rocked back and fourth, and cried and screamed for my fiance. I know I was hysterical and I'm grateful he was able to quickly talk some sense into me and we rushed her to the nearest emergency clinic.

The staff was nice, and they took her in quickly, but the entire time we waited for word on how she was doing I felt so nauseous and shaky. I was glad when they pulled us into a room because there was other people in the waiting room and it was hard to hold back from crying. Honestly it felt like it was hard to breath the entire wait, but they said they had put her on oxygen and that they wanted to take x-rays and blood tests, and of course they wouldn't do it till they were sure we had enough money to cover the expenses for it, and to board her, and to keep her stable over the night - and that long back and fourth I feel contributed to the outcome honestly.

When we finally had gotten the x-ray's back and her blood work it showed that her blood was normal and her blood pressure was good, but the problem was just how many broken bones she had. One of her legs was broken in two places, her other one was dislocated and her pelvis was also broken. Then on top of that we couldn't clearly see what damage was done to her organs. They said her gums might be pale either because she was in shock or because she was bleeding internally.

I hate the way the doctor handled everything, and maybe it was just the fact that I was in such a stressful situation, but she just felt like she either didn't care, or wasn't sure how to handle the situation.

It felt like she just didn't know what to tell us, and that alone told me how this all might end. She told us that, surgically, there was nothing they could do for her there. My baby would have to go to a specialist to repair her broken bones, and all they could do was bandage her up some, and keep her comfortable and stable for her night stay.

After waiting in the room for a while, I was starting to get my hopes up because they came in and said that she was currently stable, and that we could go home and they would call to update us if anything changed.

They let us go to the back room to tell her good night, and we promised her that we would be back in the morning to pick her up and get her better.

We went to the main waiting room and signed off on the paper work that would allow then to perform CPR should anything happen, and then while we waiting for her paperwork and a copy of her x-rays they pulled us back into the room and informed us that she was going into cardiac arrest and they were starting CPR.

It felt like it all happened so fast. The doctor came in several times to tell us that they were still trying to resuscitate her, that she was having problems breathing on her own, and nothing had changed. And on the doctors final visit she informed us that they had tried to resuscitate her longer than protocol recommended, but they had to let her go.

End trigger warning

And just like that my baby was gone.

The doctor practically fled the room when I broke down. I was hyperventilating, I was lightheaded, nauseous. My fiance was so strong through all this, because she was his baby too, and did his best to calm me down and comfort me till I was coherent enough to communicate with the doctors and techs again.

One of the other things that hurt was the trip home with her stuff (I had called my parents and our friend who was renting one of our rooms to come say goodbye because they loved her too). My fiance sent me home with my mom while he and our friend waited for the staff to finish prepping her for them to bring back home so we could bury her.

I knew we didn't have the money to fix all her broken bones. The doctor had only given us a estimate for the cost of fixing one fracture, so that was all the money we had asked for on our credit card, but she had three and a dislocated hip.

Back in the room when things were starting to look up before it all came crashing down, I had come to terms with the fact that our baby would probably have to get her most damaged leg amputated so we could aford to pay for the hip replacement. She would have had to live the rest of her life with only three legs, but I knew she could do it and I and the rest of my family would be there to help her through every step of the way - helping her go to the bathroom, helping her relearn how to walk, and helping her with whatever therapy she would need to make her muscles strong enough to support her with only three legs. But she didn't make it, and we didn't have that chance or that option.

On the ride home, my mom said outloud what I had been thinking since the second I was told she was going into cardiac arrest:

She waited for me and her dad to come say goodbye before she let go.

She had been so strong to fight for her life for three hours till she could see us one more time.

It hurts

Mentally

Emotionally.

And I can feel it affecting me physically.

I'm so tired.

I feel so drained.

When I walk around the house, I keep turning around and expecting her to be right there behind me or at my side. She was my baby, my little shadow who followed me every where, my love, my heart, and right now, it feels like she was my soul too. Heck, just moment ago me and my fiance went to go snack on some cereal and he dropped a few pieces and, without even thinking, I said, "Give it to Honey."

All he could do was look at me sadly when I realized what I had said and I just went back to our room to cry.

I keep thinking I'll look outside the window and see her playing with her sister Penny, but the house is so quiet and Penny isn't running around and playing.

I may not post for a little bit, I will still keep writing because it does help take my mind off things, but even then it's hard to find the motivation to even pick up my phone other than to look through my gallery.

I apologize for keeping you all waiting, hopefully I will get something as good as the last few chapters out soon.

Thank you all for understanding.

[maneaterwithtail]

The politics are the cough. the disease is flooding to chase the trend of personal brand building. Events and confusing communities and arguably the arrangement of the direct market itself. No simplicity and lots of expense with shakeup one after the other.

And some transparently business or out of story disrupting existing (in humans versus mutants)

Starting Marvel, as an example, is harder than figuring out where to come in on the Fate series. I mention this because Comics are often compared to manga and yet however convoluted in silly may get for the most part you buy one collection, or let's not kid ourselves pirate, or wait until an animated adaptation comes out realize that it's pretty much faithful, go back to the core comic and so long as you start from the beginning you can follow to the end. Even if it's based off of a visual novel chances are everything will progress from beginning to end. It's usually when that models messed up with that something becomes destructive and difficult to follow or deal.

Unlike with manga where if you're having trouble following where to start with, like the Fate series, you can at least enjoy the latest Nasu verse offering. especially if you can turn your brain off and just engage with one example. Or if you don't want to deal with that you can just go to an entirely different property from a similar publisher that scratches a similar itch.

Like the premise of America Chavez buts I think she did it wrong? Well it's not like you can just switch over to Champions because that's a mess as well along with Miles Morales Spider-Man and ms. Marvel or spider woman.

it's expensive, patchy, filled with all sorts of weird continuity that you end up having to buy just to start. As such only the dedicated fanbase could possibly tolerate it but that also is exclusive in the sense that it's so to them with a history that it feels kind of off-putting.

I like the comicsgate comics I have heard of. I can also understand why we try to move away from that. Such as very obvious p*** tracing. And so on. Yes supposed diversity has basically led to a similar story of we're here now we're going to f*** the status quo too strongly relating to the audience or the author's pandering.

But it's not just they're going to have a trans person in an announcement. Which is a pretty major character trait I imagine that they want to talk about that or include it in the announcement.

the discontinuity does not help you build upsetting characters characterization and Circumstance. This is what I mean you're following themes story and events building to something then a new author will come in and he or she will wreck all that up so that they can go in an entirely different direction. Okay maybe you don't like the homosexual overtones of Eddie Brock and Venom. Maybe you want to stick it to all the slash shippers on Tumblr. But they've been the people who been following the comic and there's been a multi-year build up with sleeper, Eddie Brock and Venom's son.

going no now Eddy has a son he doesn't know about. oh and he was in the car that killed a child and him and Venom hate each other? Basically says f*** that other story we're going back to this story because I liked it better when I was young and I like it this way. And this kind of hostility is constant with every Changing of the Guard which can happen almost every two to three years. This keeps happening right when things are starting to get good or conclusion is reached. this undermines any death any major event or twist especially when it's in the headlines as if it's going to be meaningful

we can't even engaged in the illusion that someone has a plan charting something out when it feels like it's always fly by the seat of the pants the slightest whim can blow off the direction. We know in our conscious nothing that happens matters or at the very least when things end and we don't move on to something else then realize that there was a change but it seems seamless. Or at the very least it's a damn good seem that makes a very likeable and unique and distinct quilt. Again comparing and contrasting with manga

basically constantly ragging on the Politics as if that's what's causing the problem as opposed to Poor practices is off. yeah the customer service is definitely a no-go. But let's not kid ourselves Fanboys started it

I can straight up say that if you had a book that was straight up gay. like it starred the gay couple that once was Rescued by Captain America including his childhood hero And they were joined by the gender-bending exiled courtesan. you know those girls that always hang around in the background of Thor comics and everybody talks about winching and all that stuff? What if we actually focus on one of them and we threw in some mythological deviant queerness with the idea that men who practiced a certain form of Witchcraft had to be ladies. Now in practice this often meant anything from cross-dressing to performing ceremonies with a freaking dildo. But this is Comics so instead I can just go with the idea that after he uses magic so much he can turn or does turn into a lady. At first it's inadvertent but then he Masters the power so much that can transform into any lady. So he can go from weak little nerdy witch man to a Vanir (super durable pretty strong) or she giant.

It gets even more so when apparently he can change not just to a generic woman but any specific one. so he can literally clone an individual lady alive or dead. If she's dead you can act as a vessel for her soul so effectively while he might be booted deep within he can resurrect anyone's female loved one. Until changes back. The Twist is that while he won a beauty contest to be one of Odin's many many side pieces due to the politics and sociology of the time and the setup Odin didn't like admitting that they were both men or equals. Now the crossdressing courtesan isnt necessarily the nicest person. In fact the number one thing that characterizes him is that he hates the alpha male warrior culture or at least what he perceives of the negatives of it of Asgard. But that doesn't necessarily mean that he provides a good alternative. This will be a total retcon. not only would this make Odin effectively bisexual -although it's long since established that it seems like he's banged about so much he has had a child with everyone but his wife- but the idea that Loki and Thor grew up exposed to this weird gender-bending courtesan who tried to compete with the affections of their Queen Mother just so that that way he could get ahead and hated showing the absolute loyalty and Devotion to Asgard seeking glory in battle and death as opposed to conniving Gatling favor and trolling for booty while having to serve drinks for the Warriors that came by and were celebrated in the castle Hall.

Probably make up all sorts of relationships with other lesser-known Danny's that haven't been as much part of Marvel Thor but are important or at least well-known for the tradition. I would also shamelessly ripoff @gumon and her take on Norse mythology. With giants that just naturally produce children whether male or female. anyway ignoring all the continuity just so I could bring in the mythology that I want I would have it so that he was ultimately exiled because he got set up on a failure assignment. He got assigned to the Blue Mountain the traveling planet or set of rocks now that was the home of one of the Warriors Three the blue guy well the guy who wears blue and looks kind of like Angus Khan

The entire point of this is to get a different eye view of the Marvel Universe. What was it like to be one of those disposable pin-up girls. What is the gay population in gay culture and gay people been doing and light of the world that's been invaded from the ground been in a Perpetual fight with remnants of terrorists from World War II. And of course how they've been in for you property and making their lives and how are they responding to the fact that New York finally recognizes their marriage and of course life in the Twilight years as a gay couple that's constantly facing mortality. Also with the usual hey I'm an immortal mystical being who's having to relearn how to be human after having lived a life with a God's but neither being loyal to them nor a particular loyal to my own people. Along with the issues of the shapeshifter gender Dynamics and identity and all other sort of things. Pretty damn gay book. But I read it

Kids like imitating what they see so ripping the idea that someone's going to take some of the more iconic X-Men looks and style themselves after them when they know that their mutant doesn't seem wrong. I like the idea that we're going to open with someone who manages an online community for mutants. I like the idea of Trailblazer I like the ladies thick and I like the fact that she has a more utility power that she's going to have to work with and around hopefully being clever though that backpack does run the risk of becoming the Omnitrix and having the solution for every problem that you need.

Basically I like the children of the atom a bit more than the whole lineup of the new Warriors. I think people really should give the characters a chance so if you're turned off by yet another set of incest siblings in Marvel ya no problem or argument here.