#also the characters in the doc without links just don’t have tags yet

[deathnotearchive]

Hi after almost nine months I am finally making an introduction post.

Welcome!!

The goal of this blog is to find and reblog as many Death Note related fanworks as I can.

The Death Note fandom is full of passionate, talented, and creative individuals whose contributions deserve to be shared and appreciated, and I want to help share and appreciate said contributions as much as possible. Also the knowledge that someone’s fanwork could drop off the face of the earth never to be found again because it was deleted or something keeps me up at night and I want to make sure those works can still be accessible to others.

I predominantly reblog from blogs who have posted recently, but that is purely because they are the easiest to find. If you know any older blogs that used to post any form of Death Note fanworks, I would appreciate it if you sent them to me.

In order to make this blog easier to navigate, I have created a google doc containing links to all of this blog’s tags relating to characters, formats/types of fanworks, relationships (both platonic or otherwise), and years. If there’s anything wrong with the links, please let me know.

As my aim is to archive as many Death Note related fanworks as I can find, when looking through this blog, there is a good chance you will find something that makes you uncomfortable. If that bothers you, then I recommend going through the google doc and filtering any tags that contain anything that will cause you discomfort (you can filter tags by going to settings —> account —> content you see —> filtered tags). Please do not harass me or anyone else over fanworks that personally make you uncomfortable, all you will succeed in is making others uncomfortable in return. If you don’t like something, just don’t engage with it.

Finally, if you have any questions/need to tell me something, please feel free to send an ask. I will try my hardest to respond as quickly and comprehensively as possible. You can also ask me to try and find a specific fanwork/creator, but there’s a very good chance I won’t be able to find what you’re looking for. Regardless, if I do find it, I will let you know as soon as I can.

[isabellehemlock]

In honor of Ace Week (October 24th - October 30th), I wanted to compile a list of aspec fics for the TOG fandom.  For anyone unfamiliar, aspec includes ace, aro, demi, grey/gray, combinations of those, and more - it’s definitely a spectrum :)

At the time of this writing, there are almost 9k TOG fics (whoa!), and I used the following tags to try to find a variety (please feel free to click on the links to see the results for yourself): 

Asexuality spectrum (53)

Asexuality (27)

Asexual character (23)

Asexual relationship (6)

Demisexuality (27)

I did not see any results for “aro”, “ace/aro”, and/or “grey” or “gray” - and some of the results have overlap - of course some stories within the fandom might feature aspec themes but weren’t labeled in a way that the search engine caught, and I missed it. 

But here are twelve I picked (some I have read, some I haven’t gotten to yet) - and one I wrote myself - though hopefully no one thinks I was trying to be self promoting.  Also, I did write by the title if the character was listed in a specific way like “feat. demiNicky” - however not all stories might have that as the major theme, but include that character.  And unfortunately I did not see any with Andy on that spectrum, but did include ones featuring Joe, Nicky, Nile and Booker.

As with previous fic recs I’ve done, please do not use this list as an excuse to bully/hound the author - instead here are links in case you’d like to avoid a tag, a pairing, and/or block an author.  My hope was to create a well rounded list that included all characters, as well as all ratings, but understand that might not be for everyone.  Curate/tailor to your individual reading preferences.

Please feel free to reblog and add your own recs, and I went by the author’s profile of their tumblr handles (if listed), if that has been changed, or the wrong thing got linked, don’t hesitate to comment and I’ll rectify that as quickly as I can.  Lastly, this post has been copy/pasted into a Google doc for easy reference in the future :)

Happy reading 💜

Saving space by KestralWatcher feat. AceNile

On not repeating the mistakes of the past.

They never ask her to replace Booker, even without words. For Nile to fulfill his original role in this team (this family). (However much they are delighted to learn of her proficiency with modern technology. She is more at ease with handling the various communications with Copley, especially once she learns that Andy still prefers a flip phone and that Nicky has never even heard of the Gutenberg Project. Andy is a lost cause, but she orders Nicky a Kindle.)

Rated G - Oneshot - Complete (2.3k)

Lion’s Heart by @romeoandjulietyouwish feat. AceJoe and AceNicky

There didn’t use to be a word for who they are, Nile tells them that there is.

OR

An asexual Nicky/Joe fic

Rated G - Oneshot - Complete (1.2k)

Nine Hundred Years Of Poetry by flawedamythyst feat. demiNicky

“They’re not together. Not like that.”

There was a quiet pause, then Nile snorted. “Bullshit,” she said. “Come on, you’re having me on, right?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Booker, stopping in front of the wine racks and turning to look at her. “They are just very close friends.”

Nicky and Joe never actually managed to get together and so have spent 900 years pining over each other and coming up with angsty poetry. Booker is 100% done.

Rated G - Oneshot - Complete (6.3k)

Cracks and Coping Mechanism by EbbaTriesToWrite feat. AsexualBooker 

People didn’t really talk about sex in the time Booker grew up in. Well, there had been the occasional overheard conversation at bars or the soldiers talking about what they missed about being back in France - be it their wives, mistresses or the brothels. But it made sense that Booker found himself uncomfortable listening to it, his fidgeting fingers or the tapping of his foot was simply due to the fact that he wasn’t meant to hear these things in the first place.

Rated Teen - Oneshot - Complete (4k)

The House in Sicily by @shadowen feat. demiJoe & aro/ace Nile

If Nile had to picture what she thought Joe and Nicky’s dream home would look like, the house in Sicily would be it, and then some.

Rated Teen - Multichapter - Complete (28k)

Lemon Trees & Flowers by kirasometimes feat. demiNicky

Yusuf is kissing him now and it takes Nicolo far too long to realize that he has not allowed himself to kiss Yusuf back.

Rated Teen - Oneshot - Complete (2.4k)

Brimful by @boutiquetraveltravelboutique feat. demiJoe

When Yusuf was thirty-three years old, he died for his convictions and he died for his god and he died for himself, too, pierced through by a helmeted soldier who took Yusuf’s own blade into himself, in turn. They collapsed together in perfect synchronicity. The Frankish man’s eyes were very wide and very green, and Yusuf thought that he hated them.

When Yusuf was thirty-three years old, he gasped back to life on the ruined stretch of battlefield where he’d perished. He died and rose, again and again, until he determined that he must be a ghost, or perhaps simply an extension of his blade, guided by forces beyond his understanding and control. The soldier was a phantom too, pale and screaming, returning to flay Yusuf with sharp metal and foreign derogations.

When Yusuf was thirty-three years old, as he would remain outwardly for a millennium and beyond, he found the person who offered him all and more.

Rated M - Oneshot - Complete (1.2k) you can read my rambling comments on the bottom of the fic for a review lol

Somewhere Only We Know by Ghrelt feat. AceNile

Keane wakes up after the battle at Merrick Labs. He wakes up. Nobody's more surprised by that than he is, and none of the Immortals are happy the guy who just captured and imprisoned them is now one of their own. Whether he turns out to be an ally or an enemy is yet to be decided.

Rated M - MultiChapter - Complete (72k)

 The Purpose of Art by me feat. demiNicky

A fluffy rom com multif fic disguised as a restorative art justice piece, featuring the prestigious Bythewood University, the corrupt Merrick Museum of Art, and the black market Copley Foundation Auction House.

Rated M - MultiChapter - Complete (111k+)

(let go of) the same dream by @bewires feat. demiNicky & demiJoe 

In which both Joe and Nicky struggle to fit into a world where your cycle determines so much about your romantic prospects when neither of them have typical cycles or even know if they want that kind of romantic relationship. In which Joe co-runs a center where people with atypical heat and rut cycles can come and receive the help they need. In which Nicky really wishes he hadn't written a series of very stupid letters to the editor of the local paper back when he was pretending he didn't need the kind of help Joe was offering.

Rated E - MultiChapter - Complete (13k+) you can read my review for this one here

Frost and Fjords by @ao3-arkada feat. demiNicky

The Norse countries are lands of mountains and rivers, riches and danger, home to battle-hardened Vikings, intimidating volvas, stone-fisted jarls, and many more.

The Norse lands also draw Yusuf, a merchant from Tunis seeking to trade for their wealth. He travels north every year, with the goal of bringing home the greatest profit he can find.

Then his life is saved by a handsome stranger named Nicolò, who soon proves himself a kind and good friend.

And Yusuf has another goal each time he travels to the Norse lands: not falling in love with him.

Rate E - MultiChapter - Complete (51k+) you can read my review for this one here

Djinn’s eyes by @lisea18 feat. demiNicky

They die by each other’s swords. Many times. Until Yusuf offers his hand. Yusuf wants to go back home, to his loved ones. Nicolò follows. How do Yusuf and Nicolò start traveling together and communicating? How do they learn about each other, their personality, their past? How do they become friends before feelings that shouldn’t be born between ex enemies start to bloom? How do they deal with immortality and what it entails? Slowly, with pining, tears and laughter.

Rated E - MultiChapter - Not Complete (18k+ so far)

[ineffableplanner]

Wednesday Spotlight #55 - May 12th 2021

What’s new? A new store spotlight, of course. There is 1 and ½ zine added as well - one is supposed to open today, but as of posting this newsletter no direct link could be added.

Do you have or do you know of a fancomic or zine on sale/pre-order don’t hesitate to let me know.

Lately, you are getting another spotlight that will go on rotation. I’ll link to one etsy/redbubble/insert-platform here, every week. The rotation goes by order of me finding the links and whatever links you guys might send to me. And yes, you’re more than welcome to send me the link to your own online store. Even if you just run a small selection off your social media.

Store Spotlight (GO Merch)

Good Omens merch by TwistedFlaxCreations

I proudly wear the wing pins and the work is fabulous, and what do you know?! There’s a sale on for the rest of May to celebrate that the book turns 31 this month. Happy birthday to GoodOmens!

Good Omens Fanzines/fancomics open for orders/pre-orders:

There are a few new ones coming up - but none of them have any direct links yet. I’ll update the calendar on trello when I have them, and they’ll be featured in the next issue (barring the unforeseen delays that might cause them to be pushed).

Enchanted Omens

Pre-orders for the fairytale-themed Good Omens zine are now open! Over 100 pages of amazing content, available in physical or digital format, and plenty of merch up for grabs!

Please note that there is a sponsor option that you can apply to.

To purchase go here (bigcartel)

To apply for a sponsored copy go here (twitterpost) or directly to the google doc

Across All Omens

What is Across all Omens Zine? It is a digital for profit zine that artists and writers can come together to share their AUs, with a twist! The main idea is to share your AUs with each other! Pair up and create works featuring your collaborator's characters in your universe interacting with your characters!

Please note as of this Wednesday Newsletter May 12th there is no link to orders open but keep an eye out. It has a prior announced date of May 12th.

Link to tumblr

Ineffable Eras: Soho 1967 - preorders are open

The Soho 1967 Edition of the zine is now open for orders, from April 28 to May 26, and you will find several different options for buying both zine and merch.

Ace Omens - preorders are open

A collection of Good Omens art and stories celebrating ace pride and exploring ace stories brought to you by a group of asexual creators and allies. All proceeds from sales will go to the Trevor Project.

Closes May 30th

Our Side Zine: Trans Day of Visibility 2021

Our Side Zine: Trans Day of Visibility 2021 is a trans Good Omens Fan zine made by Good Omens fans for Good Omens fans. This DIGITAL-ONLY zine features art, cosplay, and fiction depicting characters from the book, show, or radio play.

—————–

Note: Zine pre-orders have been moved from Saturday’s newsletter to Wednesday’s Spotlight post. Zine’s will be spotlight’ed until pre-orders/orders end date. Personal comics will get one spotlight for now - if more weeks go by without any new ones, I’ll re-boost some of the earlier ones.

If you have a fanbook/comic for sale or a fanzine up for pre-order, please PM me to let me know or email me at ineffableplanner (at) gmail.com. I may catch it on my own but better safe than sorry ;) - same goes for any events or zine signups you’d like boosted in the Saturday newsletter. Also a shout-out to those of you who ping me with links, both for events as well as comics and zines.

For now no commission info as opening/closing commissions happen so fast sometimes the links might not be valid after a few days. As for patreon pages I can’t double check content, so no.

You can find older editions of the Wednesday spotlight by following the tag #Wednesday spotlight

[jamiiviper]

The Jamil Essay

this is a reupload of a post i made a couple of weeks ago - previously it was an external link to a google doc, so it never showed up in any of the twst tags, but i worked so hard on this and i would really love it if more people read it, so i’m reuploading directly to tumblr.

to put it simply, this is a 3.7k word character analysis purely about jamil. and even with a word count like that i wasn’t quite able to cover everything i wanted to say, so who knows, maybe there’ll be a part 2 one day. i’ve also decided i do want to write a kalim version, so i’ll probably start working on that sometime soon! stay tuned!

trigger warnings: mentions of child abuse

jamil is the vice dorm leader of scarabia, who’s been kalim’s caretaker practically since birth. he puts on a facade of not standing out, preferring to remain completely average, and plans his life around kalim’s antics. as we learned in chapter 4, however, his true feelings are that he bears a lot of resentment towards kalim, and that he wants to stand out - he just wasn’t allowed to, as he can never surpass kalim.

in this essay i want to cover not just my personal interpretation of jamil, but also some common misconceptions that people tend to have about him. twitter doesn’t have this problem as much, but with tumblr i’ve found that there are very few jamil stans, especially in the theory and writing communities - meaning it’s quite common for people to misunderstand his character. in the fandom as a whole, it’s common for people to only acknowledge him insofar as “gay for kalim”. 

firstly, jamil’s character development in the main story - i would say he’s arguably the best-developed character in twst, since yana now has enough chapters available to flesh out characters after their main story arc ended. jamil holds very deep-seated resentment against kalim, to the point that he plotted to betray him for probably several years. he plotted to have kalim not just thrown out of nrc, but thoroughly ruin his reputation in the process. after his overblot, those feelings did not magically vanish - far from it. i think earlier twst chapters suffered from arcs being wrapped up a little too neatly post-overblot, but pomefiore’s arc has already proved itself to be the exception and thoroughly covers not just jamil’s continued dislike for kalim, but also the wider consequences for what he did.

since the twst school year begins in september, we know jamil is about 9 months older than kalim. from literally the day kalim was born, jamil’s life has been dedicated to kalim. possibly since the day jamil was born, and he was always fated to be kalim’s caretaker. it may even have been the reason he was born at all. either way, it’s not like he remembers those 9 months. all jamil has ever known is that his sole purpose must be to serve kalim. he must not have desires of his own, he must not do anything for himself - from childhood he was expected to be ready to give up his life for kalim at a moment’s notice. he can’t be good at anything - kalim must always be better (i’ll cover this in more depth in a later paragraph, this philosophy is key to his character). his own parents drilled this into him, even going to the extent of hitting him if he didn’t comply. it seems he has a normal relationship with his family despite this - he bickers with his sister like regular siblings, and pre-overblot he indicated that his desire to be free from servitude wasn’t just about him, he wanted to free his family. nonetheless, the psychological damage his childhood caused him is severe. is it any wonder his unique magic is mind control, when he’s never had an ounce of control over his own life?

moving onto his early teen years, we know both jamil and kalim were severely poisoned at one point, both falling into comas for around two weeks. although we don’t have a timeframe for jamil’s coma, we know kalim’s was when they were around 13 years old. if jamil’s was around this age too - probably a short while afterwards - i think it’s plain to see why jamil’s resentment began to build. he’d have been around the age where he first started to question why his life has to revolve around kalim. why should he be expected to die for someone he doesn’t even like, who’s spoiled and doesn’t realise how much jamil does for him? kalim takes everything for granted: status, friendships, freedom, and jamil is meanwhile left in the shadows with nothing. then one day kalim gets poisoned so badly he falls into a coma - how much do you want to bet jamil was blamed for that, at the age of 13? after that he’s expected to taste-test anything kalim eats beforehand, and eventually starts making all his meals for him because the risk of poison is so high otherwise. then one day he slips up, or it’s an undetectable poison, and jamil is the one to fall into a coma. is anyone blamed for that? does anyone pity jamil outside of his immediate family + kalim? no, probably not. after all, he’s just doing his duty, right? it’s truly… no wonder jamil’s resentment became so intense. he finally has proof that his life truly does not matter. although kalim certainly cares about him, he doesn’t understand jamil’s position. he sees jamil as a friend, an equal; jamil knows this can never be the case, and he also knows kalim is too privileged to ever hope to understand. 

fast forward on a couple of years to jamil receiving his nrc acceptance letter. he thinks that finally, finally he’s going to be free. four years of freedom - and who knows, maybe after that he can be free forever! he can finally excel at his classes and be his true self, without fear of upstaging kalim! 

and then kalim gets accepted a month late. for no reason other than his surname. 

and then kalim gets sorted into his dorm.

it’s a miracle he didn’t just overblot on the spot - but that’s his nature as a scarabia student. careful foresight and planning. this moment was, undoubtedly, the moment he started planning his betrayal. he had his one month of freedom ripped away, just like that. 

oh, don’t forget the fact that not long after, kalim was made dorm leader not because he notably embodies scarabia values at all, but because of nepotism. (side note: most scarabia stans agree kalim does actually reflect scarabia values, just not as obviously as jamil does, but either way jamil himself wouldn’t see it this way. this is a jamil essay so i won’t go in depth about this unless asked to!)

under kalim’s watch, scarabia - known for its intelligence and cunning - is turned into “the party dorm”. this seems to be the fandom’s perception of them too - i mean, just ask any non-scarabia stan what goes on in scarabia, that’s probably the answer they’ll give you. jamil would have probably loved the original scarabia; although we don’t know much about it, we know scarabia students are on a par with octavinelle when it comes to intelligence (paralleling azul’s constant interest in jamil). yet by winter break, scarabia is doing so badly in those same exams that they didn’t even place in the rankings…? without meaning to, kalim clearly harmed scarabia. instead of getting chance to study magic and show off, jamil is now essentially an unpaid, full-time party planner by the time his second year starts.

a few months later, winter break finally arrives, and jamil executes his plan to dethrone kalim. i may have just spent the last two pages defending jamil’s grudge, but his actions themselves are still indefensible. there’s evidence to suggest kalim knew what was occurring on some level - refusing to answer jade’s question about who was hypnotising him proved that 1) he probably had some idea deep down that jamil was betraying him 2) he doesn’t want jamil to get in trouble for it. nonetheless, this does not make what jamil did okay in the slightest, even if kalim allowed it to happen. jamil is, undoubtedly, the bad guy in this situation, no matter how sympathetic his childhood makes you feel. i could go into detail about why kalim acted the way he did, but again, this is jamil-focused.

i’ll skip talking about his overblot, because i covered his hatred for kalim in a lot of depth already and i want to talk about the general aspects of his personality like his desire for praise later on. so moving onto the end of chapter 4, we see jamil’s true self: a snarky, heavily opinionated boy who honestly just wants to be free to be himself.

but just like his freedom, that side of jamil once again only lasts for a brief moment. jamil almost loses everything after his overblot. practically every scarabia student hates him and wants him thrown out of the dorm - even kalim, his sole defender, can’t call him a good person. he’s a traitor. he says he trusts the scarabia students to work out that it’s better for them if he stays, but that day won’t come any time soon, and until then he’s keeping his distance from them all, because their hatred is that strong. if azul truly had been streaming to more people than just jade, his life would have been ruined beyond repair. so what does jamil do? he goes back to serving kalim. as a scarabia student, his foresight is good enough that he knows the option he hates the most is the only one that’ll be good for him in the end. for jamil, being himself is nothing short of a death sentence.

now i’ve talked for far too long about the timeline of his character arc, i can finally get to the good stuff: jamil’s personality, and how it’s changed throughout the stories we’ve seen so far.

the first thing that springs to mind when you think of jamil, other than “snake”, is probably “tired”. or “he’s going to snap”. something along those lines. which... yes, we know he is. he did snap. after chapter 4, this doesn’t seem to have changed too much, but i do get the impression that he’s somewhat less stressed out by kalim. his resentment has dissipated, for the most part (he does still openly insult him, though), so while he does grumble at kalim there’s no suppressed fury behind it. what replaced that fury?

guilt.

in 5-10, jamil tells azul that he intends to continue to obediently follow kalim around in order to restore his reputation, both inside and outside of scarabia. this does of course make him sound pretty selfish (as per usual), and in classic jamil fashion he doesn’t let his true emotions show, so it’s easy to take this at face value and assume he just doesn’t really care. i think in this case, we need to look more at his actions that we see throughout chapter 5. namely, the way it’s being emphasised how he’s silently watching kalim from afar - something he’s always done, yes, but yana seems to be really making a point of it in chapter 5. it’s not just kalim he’s distancing himself from, either. he’s staying away from the rest of the scarabia students too, as mentioned earlier. he never had any friends at all to rely on, even before his overblot. so by doing this, he’s effectively completely isolating himself. he clearly has a lot of thoughts about everything that he’s not sharing with anyone - just listen to the way he sighs at the end of the flashback in 5-10, how annoyed and frustrated he seems. if jamil was telling the truth about just wanting to restore his reputation, he’d probably appreciate kalim’s efforts, even if he dislikes kalim himself. he shouldn’t be upset by kalim persuading the scarabia students to give him another chance. not if he truly just wants to get back to normal. i think on some level, jamil feels incredibly guilty over his actions. he might not have even admitted to himself yet that he feels this way, and by saying things like “i just want to restore my reputation” he’s just trying to convince himself. after all, that’s something he has a history of doing.

ever since jamil’s first introduction, we’ve known jamil lives his life by the philosophy of “not standing out is the best way to succeed”. he hates standing out or receiving any kind of positive attention at all, because he thinks that it’ll only attract trouble. or so we thought, because as we learned from his overblot, jamil desperately wants to stand out. he’s powerful and intelligent, and he wants people to acknowledge that. he wants the praise and recognition he knows he deserves. this means that whenever he said he didn’t want to stand out, he was lying through his teeth - he probably constantly tried and failed to convince himself of this throughout his childhood. during his lab SR story, he even repeats it to himself in his thoughts, like a mantra - “I want to avoid standing out. I can’t be satisfied with this. I cannot be too good, nor fall behind, and neither should I get satisfactory grades or fail. This is the best shortcut to success.”. much like his feelings of guilt, jamil refused to acknowledge how much he truly wanted to show off, even in his own thoughts. he is awful at being honest to himself.

post-ch5, we find out that despite everything, jamil does still hold this philosophy, to some extent. he of course shows off his singing and dancing skills enough to be chosen as a main vocalist, and he says he wants to make a name for himself and show various people just how talented he truly is: kalim, his family, the asims and MC, to name a few. yet in the chapter before that, when kalim compliments his singing and dancing, he’s like “i don’t really want to stand out, but…”. which is honestly a little confusing at first because he does want to. i’d probably interpret it as something along the lines of he wants to show off to the people he cares about, but he still wants to keep his head down in general. so i think that to some extent, maybe he actually has internalised that philosophy now. the one time he truly expressed his desire to stand out, it ended in catastrophe for him. he has this tiny seed of doubt within him now, telling him his parents were right all along. but... he’s working past it, and applying himself as and when he’s comfortable doing so.

going back to him being bad at being honest, jamil’s a pretty big tsundere. there’s one person he does regularly receive praise from: kalim. yet despite desperately wanting to be praised, he often gets annoyed at kalim and tells him something like “this isn’t about me right now” or “what does that have to do with anything?”. plus when the praise is coming from kalim, it’s often in the context of kalim praising him to other people - as a servant, he can’t be seen accepting all these compliments, right? he can never be better than kalim. so he has to reject kalim’s praise. when it’s just the two of them alone, though, is when jamil gets embarrassed to the point he has to hide his blush under his hood. given his childhood, chances are that he doesn’t really know how to process being praised. he knows he wants people’s approval, but when he actually gets it, he just short-circuits. it was the same at his birthday celebration; although he wants to be the centre of attention, when it actually happens, he gets all embarrassed and tsun. i was trying not to let my own personal feelings spill in this but oh my god he’s so cute i can’t

next... this isn’t really linked to any previous topic, but i want to talk about jamil’s cooking! jamil cooks all of kalim’s meals, and regularly cooks entire feasts for kalim’s parties, too (as well as being in charge of getting any animals kalim wants to show off, decorating the dorm, making sure everything runs smoothly… you get the idea). his cooking is very good, and he has a lot of technical knowledge about cooking too - azul, whose parents run a restaurant, didn’t know about emulsification, but jamil was able to explain it to him. despite being so good, though, according to his dorm SSR homescreen lines he doesn’t actually like cooking very much. he says the fact that he cooks so much is “just how things turned out”. of course, he could just be being a tsun, but i do feel like he’s being honest with this - what reason does he have to seriously enjoy something he was forced into doing his entire life? However there is evidence that he might enjoy it after all; he’s particularly good at alchemy because of his cooking knowledge, and according to magical archives he’s completely neutral in motivation for both flying and history lessons, but has slightly higher motivation levels for alchemy, indicating that he can’t stop himself from putting a little bit extra effort into that class. i think it can be interpreted either way with the canon info we have currently, but regardless i would not say he’s the cooking fanatic people often depict him as. 

also, when jamil cooks, although his cooking is good, visually it’s usually very boring, to the point he and his sister would bicker over it. he has the technical skills to cook good food, but no idea how to present it. similarly, in his fairy gala SR he was told that although he perfectly memorised the dance, it was boring to watch - it looked like he was just executing the routine without any passion behind it. jamil is so emotionally repressed that he has no idea how to express his individuality. even in his bedroom, the only truly personal items he owns are a first aid kit (related to his servant position, not him as a human being) and a stereo + headphones set for dancing. he doesn’t have any other hobbies or interests - he doesn’t even know what people his age do for fun, because he’s never been allowed to think about such things. 

dancing is all jamil has that’s not directly related to serving kalim, really - but even that ties into his servant status. although he genuinely enjoys it nowadays and dances by himself for fun, he only picked it up as a hobby because kalim wanted to go to dance practice, and of course jamil had to accompany him. when his flashback after his overblot talks about him deliberately losing to kalim, the story focuses specifically on a dancing competition. which is why it’s honestly so important to jamil’s character that chapter 5 focuses on a singing and dancing competition. jamil finally has the chance not just to show off his skills in general, but his skills at the one thing he’s been allowed to love throughout his life. the one thing where losing to kalim at it hurt so much that it was such a prominent memory for him. when jamil was chosen as a main vocalist, he instinctively tries to say kalim would be better suited for the position, but stops himself and accepts it. it clearly means so much to him that he was chosen for this.

okay i started to scare people with how long this was getting when it was only 50% finished, i think if i write anymore people will actually be concerned for my health so i’ll leave it here. if you read all of this, thank you so much for putting up with my anime boy brainrot for over six full pages! i really.. really like jamil. again, i most certainly do not think his actions should be defended, but god if they’re not fascinating to read about. and i hope i covered the other sides to him well enough, the things that you’d never ordinarily pick up on because so few people talk about him outside of him and kalim as a pair (both platonic scarabia + romantic jamikali, i mean). he has so much depth to him that people don’t see and god i could easily have gone on for another few pages if i wasn’t forcing myself to stop. but please please talk to me if you want to hear more...

yana has treated him so well, jamil stans get too much food if anything but i’m absolutely thriving off it as you can see! thank you for allowing him to exist, yana-sensei!

having said that, i couldn’t stop myself from adding some extra facts about him below. please enjoy.

some fun jamil facts for your soul:

his sister used to bake him cookies on his birthday - specifically, these!

when jamil and kalim went to eat at the cafeteria with ruggie and leona, leona took one look at jamil and went “you look like you’d kill kalim in his sleep”

sebek and jamil find each other’s positions enviable. sebek wishes he could have been by malleus’ side from birth as jamil was with kalim, and jamil just… wishes he served someone he respected as deeply as sebek respects malleus (but he does think sebek is too enthusiastic)

jamil hates surprises with a burning passion, and despite being with kalim for 17 years is still not used to them. for his previous birthday, kalim held a huge surprise party, and i think he still hasn’t recovered from the shock

i think a lot of people already know that in his birthday SSR story he said he wanted a parrot after graduation so he could teach it to call him master, but it goes a bit further than that? it was actually first mentioned during his lesson chats, when kalim gets a parrot. jamil has to research how to care for it, and ended up wanting one of his own afterwards (but got too tsundere to admit it at the time).

also, he heard that the sorcerer of the sands’ parrot (iago) could speak as fluently as a human, and he got excited and watched a bunch of parrot videos on magicam, but was of course disappointed to find out that this was not the case.

he frequently uses flattery to try and get his way, like when he attempts to flatter vil during his SSR story - unfortunately he misjudged vil, as vil’s actually the type of person who hates meaningless flattery. because he does this so frequently, when he genuinely does give compliments people don’t always believe him.

according to the halloween event, jamil is surprisingly environmentally conscious, and insists on holding a sustainable halloween theme. after organising so many parties and seeing the waste they probably produce, i think there’s no wonder he’s so concerned about it.

[hanijunk]

Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.

Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!

Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO

Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.

Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO

I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol

Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao. 

I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo

I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.

This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).

I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.

THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP

First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck. 

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).

Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.

Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications. 

Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.

Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma. 

Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential. 

But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.

Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.

If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*

And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL

As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.

Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes! 

Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.

I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more. 

There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.

Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes. 

TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--

[jlf23tumble]

Hey Jen. I think you’re superb like in a (not to quote anyone but) you can sit and kind of admire what you’re like kind of way. So thanks for being awesome and enjoyable to this internet stranger. In unrelated matter, do you have any angst filled fics? I mostly read HL but I’ll dive into whatever as long as the pain is there. (If I can give a preference, I’m not so much into magic, fantasy, wolves, and sorts.) In these unprecedented times, I think I’d still need a happy ending though after the characters suffer terribly lol. If you find time to put something together for little old moi, I’d appreciate it very much. Thanks! Keep on keeping on! You’re wonderful!

<bryan_cranston_me_question_mark.gif> !!!!!!!!!! This is so incredibly kind, I think you’re pretty wonderful, too! I feel like I’m probably going to let you down here, though, because I generally don’t go too hard for angst (for one, it usually translates into longer fics, for two, some areas of true angst are just things I don’t really want to read for pleasure, like messy cheating aftermaths, abuse, character death, etc., and for three, I get lost in the sauce if I try too hard to dissect if something actually IS major angst versus, say, intense pining), but I’ll do my best! I’m going to give my dirty dozen here--my top 12 for hl--then I’ll dive deeper under the cut, with authors I love who write so much angst it’s tough to pick just one, plus other fandoms, too, in case you want to dive deeper.

Fertile Ground, Blake, 4.4k. Okay, in truth, so much of what Blake writes has gorgeous lashings of angst, so definitely read all of their fic (every fandom), but this one?? HOLY MOLY, it deserves to be separated and celebrated, Harry’s angst about fertility, howwwwww is this 4.4k, I ask, constantly?

sensitive to pressure, momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 4.4k. Hockey players and pubes and scent kinks, and yet there’s still this current of angst that thrums underneath, man oh man, would I read everything in this universe.

Everything You Do, jishler/ @jishlerfics, 6.6k. The third part of a stunning series, this one focusing on Harry’s gender identity and the Dunkirk haircut, and if you saw those recent gifsets with him wearing the beanie during training, yeah, this fic is alllll about it

i’m a captain on a jealous sea, devilinmybrain/ @thedevilinmybrain, 15k. A lot of jealousy on Louis’s part about all things Gryles, both real and imagined, I’m loving the vibes this author brings to it all.

taking tips and getting stoned, alison, 24k. I don’t think I can sum this one up quickly, but taxi driver Louis comes across singer Harry, and a lot of things change after that? God, that’s bad, but this fic is not!

hard to confess, @hereforlou, 24k. I adore Maggie’s writing so much, and she’s another one where I could rec at least three more here, but the one where Harry hides that he’s pregnant until the very last second? It’ll forever be the scorpio of mpreg fics, and I say that with the highest praise.

Maybe I Miss You series, 13ways, 28k. THIS SERIES, ooooooooffffff, the angstometer is off the chart, and then the last installment? Harry in makeup? This after all the sexting and boxing and hate sex and finally they figure their shit out? All of it is so good, and I’m eternally sad the author moved on (but jesus, I get it).

hush., Wankerville, 41k. Easily in my top five fics of any fandom, the softness and the cruelty, the growth and the real-life feels, an American high school AU that is still stunning and must have blown doors off back in that particular day (I’d also rec this author’s other work, esp. for angst).

every universe but ours, 28finelines, 49k. Okay, so this one has a little bit of magic that might annoy you, but it’s mostly in a multiverse way, like you’re reading a ton of AUs, but the theme itself has an angsty core, fwiw!

Truly, Madly, Deeply (10 Things I Hate about You), sunsetmog, 54k. I know I talk a LOT about this author’s ongoing wip, Harry Styles Cooks... (which is phenomenal, please do yourself a favor if you haven’t already), but this one? Angst ahoy, Harry auditions for XFUK without telling his boyfriend/friends, becomes a success, then comes home.

Time Passed, coffinofachimera/ @belialsmiracles, 66k. For every fic rec list I make, I always have at least one fic where I say, if you read nothing else, read this one, AND THIS IS IT, all categories, it’s simply astounding, life-changing, world-ending, and it kills me that more people haven’t left comments, but if it keeps shitty comments away, I’m all for it, I’ll protect this author/fic with my life. I can’t even begin to describe it, but if you want to know what the songs Fine Line or She are about, here you go! AIMH, Tokyo Harry!

The World Turned Upside Down, dogslpdi/ @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram, 71k. I’m really iffy on historical fics, but this fic! This fic nails it! The detail and the emotion, the way you can feel the effects of the strike in so many ways, but also how HIV/AIDS is not that far off on the horizon, it’s just so well done. Plus, I adore Ralph’s humor and the way she tagged this both “minor angst” and “miner angst,” and if I can’t end an angst rec on a light note, what more can I do?

Let’s start with things beyond hl...lately, I’ve been reading a LOT of Untamed fic, and I feel like I should just point you to Liv’s masterlists because they are angst city (and fun city, too), plus she’s done a really good job of labeling them accordingly (right now, my fave angst is from chunk no. 2, Fire in the Blood, which is a case fic, but oof, I can’t wait to read even more in these parts).

I’m also just now getting into Merlin and reading a lot in that fandom, but it’s a bit scattershot at this stage (I haven’t finished the show yet, and I’m still working my way through one author who wrote 100+ fics, all of which are incredible; if you’re curious for something recent from over there, Phoenix wrote a short, angsty one that’s good and ouchy, this tangled thicket).

Speaking of Phoenix, EVERYTHING she has written for Cars (Lightning/Doc) is incredibly angsty, usually with that happy ending finale--I’d rec my current fave, but it’s a wip, so no happy ending yet, wahhh. Check out this link to the rest of them, though, I rec ‘em all!

I still have to watch the source material, but everything anyone’s sent me from Cobra Kai is INCREDIBLY angsty and so, so good, so I’m gonna bet there’s a fair bit of fix-it fic in my future, but we shall see! 

Now onto the hl angst, ideally things you haven’t already read a million times before. Like I said earlier, this one’s kind of tough because I’m not into intense angst (major character/close family member death, messy cheating aftermath--though @kingsofeverything’s Devil and the Deep Blue Sea is fantastic, if you’re into that [messy cheating aftermath, not death]; actually, a lot of Lauren’s longer fics have a dose of angst, so dive away!)

Speaking of authors who regularly deliver angst, I have quite a few that I would say just go check out their works because almost every single thing they’ve done has it in varying degrees, you won’t be disappointed! These authors primarily write the hl pairing, and I definitely rec ‘em all: HappyPrincess, got2ghost, mediaville, and sedfierisentio. Authors I love who write Harry/other characters and do it in a hella angsty way include vondrostes, sulkingroom, radiodurans, and wishforwishes (I swear, I still think about call me anything you like at least once a month).

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ��s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[sqsupernova]

How to Post your Works to the SQSupernova Collection!

That’s right - it’s almost time for Authors and Artists to put their beautiful works on display! We’ve made our beautiful, wonderful guide to help you post your work successfully - please read it THOROUGHLY before asking questions! We promise we’ve covered almost anything that could cause issues.

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All right! For those of you who would like further clarification, your first step will still be to go to THIS LINK and click ‘Post to Collection,’ as seen below.

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[snarkwrites]

Title: peppermint milkshake kisses

Theme: candy

Fandom / Character(s):Reggie Mantle x LODGE!OFC,Vivi.

Warnings: Just a cute lil dinner at Pops in which Reggie questions Vivi’s choice in milkshake garnish. Maybe a little flirting.

Word Count: uhh.. 300 to 700+, roughly.

I’m not gonna lie. Idek where this came from. And I blame my niece for getting me hooked on Riverdale in the first place, so there you have it. I thought this would be cute to write but.. Maybe not as full on / in depth as I did with the oneshots I’ve written thus far. 

Also, again.. I made the banner for this. Don’t steal or repost.

TAGGING:

Uhh.. so here’s the thing. There is literally nobody on my Riverdale taglist. So if you want to be added/tagged, go add yourself via the doc linked below or shoot me an ask/dm on my main or this blog and i’ll happily add you.

[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]

“Hey, do you still have any of those peppermints from earlier today?” I asked the question as Reggie took a bite of his loaded burger, ketchup sliding out of the back and dripping slowly down his arm.

I bit my lip. Eyes fixed on the ketchup. I must’ve zoned out into my own little world a little, because his chuckling bought me back into the moment and he dug around in his pocket, holding out a handful of wrapped peppermints. I took them and sat them on the tabletop, taking the napkin holder and attempting to crush them.

“Hey! Whoa! You didn’t say you were gonna crush ‘em up, doll.”

“They’re going in my chocolate milkshake, Reggie.” I answered patiently. With the candy sufficiently crushed, I started to unwrap each one, letting the broken bits fall into the thickness of my chocolate milkshake. Across the table, Reggie watched with a raised brow. “Why?”

“Um.. Because it makes the chocolate all minty. Like Christmas in my mouth.” my eyes lit up as I said it, giving a soft laugh as I shook my head. Reggie shook his own head, muttering something about how he was just getting used to watching me drag my fries across my vanilla shakes.

“This is good too. C’mon, try it.” I coaxed, holding out the tall cup to him. Reggie took it, licking his lips as his eyes met mine and then danced downward, lingering for just a few seconds on my own mouth. I gulped, feeling like the air got sucked right out from between us yet again.

One day.. One day I’m going to have no choice left but to confess my actual feelings. Today, however.. Today is not that day.

Today, I’m just having burgers and fries and a chocolate milkshake in Pops with my best guy friend.

The twinkling lights on the Christmas tree that stood in the park caught my gaze and Reggie wound up looking too, chuckling. He finished off his burger and stood, holding out his hand. The snow was just starting to fall down lightly. We’d gotten an inch or two earlier, already. 

“Where are we going?”

“Well, I thought that since you’re so caught up in the snow and the lights on the tree over at the park, maybe.. Nevermind.” Reggie went quiet and I bit my lip, our eyes locking on each other as a brief pause lingered heavy between us. I stood and smiled, surprising both him and myself when I reached down and laced my fingers between his, giving his hand a little squeeze or two as it curled closed around mine.

“I’d like that, actually.” I smiled up at him. “You did promise to show me around, remember?”

Reggie chuckled. “I did, didn’t I? Well then, come along, Ms. Lodge. We got a lot to see.”

“Maybe I already like what I’m currently looking at.”

,, wait.. Did I just.. Oh no.. no.. i just said that.. Out loud.” I thought to myself frantically, just as we stepped out the door to Pops and into the freezing cold. I shivered and hugged myself against Reggie’s side just a little.

That tension was thicker now. Reggie wasn’t saying anything. I didn’t dare say anything else either.

The walk across the street and into the park was quiet and I felt like I’d probably blown any chance at telling him how I felt with any sort of actual finesse. I honestly started to tell him that I’d been talking about the snow outside or the tree lit up in the park… But just as I went to say that, he cleared his throat. Our walk stopped, the Christmas tree close enough to where we stood that the soft glow of the multicolored lights reflected off of our hair and faces, providing this soft and almost intimate glow. I gave a soft laugh and shuffled my feet.

One thing is for certain. A Lodge I may be.. But I did not inherit my mom and my sister’s knack for subtlety. Or their little.. Ways to be affectionate without being overly obvious.

“I’m..”

I started to say I was sorry, but Reggie’s hand raised, a thick fingertip pressing against my lips as he shook his head. After staring at me a few seconds more, he spoke up. “Did you mean it? How did you mean it? I mean were you talkin about Riverdale or…” he trailed off, eyes darting down to his sneakers.

It was nothing like the overconfident and loud Reggie Mantle I was used to. His tone was softer. A little unsure.. A bit afraid.. Like he was wanting to hope I meant what I said back at the diner about him, but he was afraid to let himself.

I took a few shaky breaths. I’m not good at all this. I’m not.. I’m nothing like my mom or my sister, actually.

“What if I meant you, huh?”

I didn’t dare look up at him. Instead, I focused intently on the R emblazoned on his lettermans jacket. On cozying up to him just a little more for warmth, because despite all my sister’s earlier pleadings, when I left, I grabbed one of my thinner jackets and now I was really starting to feel that chilly winter bite in the air.

Reggie opened his jacket and wrapped it around me, chuckling softly. He wasn’t saying anything. But he did raise a hand, tucking thick fingertips beneath my chin, making me look up at him. “If you meant it, doll.. Then you won’t mind if I kiss you right now… Right?”

My face lit up. I nodded, raising to tiptoe as I raised my arms, wrapping them around his neck so I could play with his hair. His mouth met mine clumsily at first and then when it connected in full.. His tongue slipped between my lips and he chuckled. “Peppermint and chocolate. Ya know, maybe it’s not such a bad combination, doll.”

“I told you so, Reggie.”

The kiss finally broke after deepening to a point that neither of us were actually breathing on our own and we stared at each other. I shivered just a little and Reggie shrugged off his lettermans jacket, draping it around my shoulders as he pulled me close. I started to insist he keep it on because him giving it to me left him in only the fitted black tee shirt beneath, but he shook his head firmly, gripping my jaw and mumbling against my mouth with hints of that cocky little smirk of his, “If you’re my girl.. Means you wear my jacket, doll. It’s kind of a tradition around here.”

“And we wouldn’t want to break tradition, would we?” I purred against his mouth, placing a gentle kiss against as he pulled me closer for warmth. “Let’s at least get inside, please? I don’t want you getting sick on me, Reggie.”

“Back to Pops?”

“Yeah.” I smiled, nodding. He placed his arm around me and we walked back across the street and back into Pops, sitting back down at the booth we’d left behind earlier.

[johnnys-green-pen]

First Lines Meme

Via @curator-on-ao3:

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

Tagged by @squad51goals - thanks a bunch, I absolutely love getting tagged for stuff like this!!

(also, I ended up tossing everything in there I could find that was either posted somewhere or even remotely finished, lol)

All fics aside from #8 are various degrees of sfw, by the way.

First off, the Emergency! fics:

1) Catnap Their last run had been, to put it mildly, a little unnecessary. 

2) Dog Days Johnny was furious at himself. For days he hadn’t been able to sleep, and now that they were having a fairly busy day, he couldn’t seem to stay awake.

3) Home It was winter, late evening and rainy, and the street lamps were throwing rhythmical glimpses of light into the darkness of the cab. 

4) Priorities Life at Station 51 taught one to expect the unexpected, if not for Chet’s constant pranks, then thanks to Johnny’s uncanny ability to make any day far more interesting than it really had to be.

5) Callback The second Mike Stoker realized that the first few hours of his shift had been uncommonly pleasant and quiet, he should’ve known he was fucked.

6) Burned Bridges Mike Stoker considered himself a patient man, and he’d never been prone to impulsiveness or ill-advised, rash decisions - at least until the day he’d found Hank Stanley huddled in his office looking like he’d seen a ghost - or become one himself - after his latest encounter with one Chief McConnike.

7) Vital Equipment One autumn morning, Roy arrived to his shift to no Johnny in the locker room and weird, muffled noises coming from the squad.

8) In The Heat Of The Night (nsfw) In retrospect, Roy figured there was no way a business trip to San Francisco together with Johnny could ever have gone as planned - but he definitely hadn’t expected the whole thing to go sideways the moment they stepped into their hotel room, of all things.

Then - a rare glimpse of non-E! stuff on here - the assorted fanfics:

9) An Equinox In Space (Star Trek AU for an original project, using all-original characters)  “Our latest one-week patrol around the Sol system was made uncommonly exciting by two engine failures, one barely-avoided warp core breach after an unfortunate collision with a very small asteroid, a ship-wide failure of all sanitary facilities, and every single replicator only serving Gagh for an entire earth day for reasons as of yet unknown.“

10) Engineering Malfunctions (A oneshot for the above-mentioned Star Trek AU for my original project. Link goes to Google Docs because I never actually cleaned it up and posted it anywhere but it’s cute so whatever) Three days after the malfunction in main engineering, the situation was still critical, and they were still coasting along at impulse speed, kept going by nothing but momentum.

11) At the Drop of a Hat (random oneshot for a Pokemon highschool AU I originally wrote as a 12-year-old; don’t judge) Wallace of Sootopolis, most esteemed Champ of the Hoenn region, Contest Master (and, somewhat less glamorously, teacher), sat on a bar stool at the counter of his favorite bar, idly dragging his fingers across the rim of his glass and glancing over to the entrance of the cozy little establishment every now and then.

Aaand the all-original stuff:

12) Untitled (Modern AU of the same original project as Equinox in Space) Professor Absalom Hayes had looked forward to going to bed at a reasonable time for once.

13) Things that go Bump in the Night (oneshot for my urban fantasy story “Death of a Midnight Snack”) It was the darkest night I’d ever seen. Pitch black, without a single star in the inky sky. Just the dimly yellow glow of a dying street lamp in the distance.

14) The Lich’s Lair (oneshot for DOAMS again) Imagine a forest, if you will. Just a boring old forest. Not all that dark or all that scary, no dangerous animals, the kind of place you'd walk your dogs on a rainy Saturday morning.

Conclusions: I like starting off (or at least I’m trying to start off) my stories with a sort of one-two punch, where the first line is some kind of set up and the second follows through with... something. Makes the “first line” stipulation here a wee bit unfortunate, lol. Also, a lot of them are “a character does or thinks something”, or location descriptions of some kind. I very rarely start with dialogue (though I have done it before) - even that Equinox tidbit is in quotes for log entry reasons, not because it’s said to someone in particular. 

Favorite: Oof. Honestly? Probably An Equinox In Space, which is funny because the actual story as it stands is really just a hot mess, even though I’ve written some pretty cool one-shots for it. Most of my favorite stories are E! fics, but those really only come alive in the second or third line. The first line of Callback does stand on its own pretty well, though...

Tagging: Normally I’d be tagging Hitch now but I know she was already tagged... uh. So I know @madilayn writes. @evilsilenc3 too, iirc? I know for a fact that more of y’all write, but I’m totally blanking on everybody’s URL’s right now, even after a solid 15 minutes of trying to remember - so if you like getting tagged and you have anything at all you could use for this, you’re hereby officially tagged. Please pretend I pinged you, I’m just really really bad with names. 

[stardust-steel]

Will you do it too? 👉🏻👈🏻

Thanks for asking me Buu 💕

1. If published and in DB fandom have 17 counting in Ao3 and ffnet (different pen name )

If unpublished or counting other fandoms, above 30 but I would rather not discuss them because they are not me now :3 *also hides her 67 page google docs of ffs )

2. Average length of fic to be honest I don’t find this a meaningful question as I write whatever I want to explore and whatever length that comes to is what it needs.:3 most of my stuff are long and/or multi chaptered though and definitely the upcoming ones are. Whoops

3. I wouldn’t say fav trope but I tend to gravitate to slow burn, angst, hurt comfort, fluff and subversive. I also love found family tropes and tend to attack POV of characters like this

5. Easiest part of writing is the actual writing itself, when the idea is still hot and it’s like I’m the messenger , the thing writes itself and i am only the channel

I hate the editing process but that’s probably the most important bit to turn raw brilliance into better polished refined elegance

I hate writing summaries

4. Fav part of writing is to be honest when some long time later I’ve forgotten what I wrote and I reread them

and it’s like discovering a fav author who wrote everything I wanted to see except the author is me. Don’t mean to be conceited, just lovely to see what I wanted to see

6. Pet peeve? I don’t really have one for writing, does the summary writing count ?

7. Writing habit - having multiple docs and copies open of the scene so I can try different versions. I used to write down specific scenes I wanted and connect them all later together , move things like a jigsaw. With the upcoming fics I’ve started outlining them though because they are plot heavy and I want to fix that down so I can focus on character

8. WIP line

... this is hard

“That hurt like a bitch”

“I’m sorry, would you prefer to be dead?”

Healer Vegeta AU

9. An idea for a fic I have? This was strangely phrased

-Hunger games Kakavege fic which will parallel all of dbz and possibly super

-The epic teen fic myself and @greydivide are working on :3

10. Fav line from a fic - is it my fic or someone else’s? If someone else, I’d have to pick @engineerdz Guiltless fic line when Vegeta says something like “where are your shoes?”in lieu of addressing more important things (context he’d just been kissed by Goku)

If it’s my fic, maybe sorry I have to pick 2... in Agent Oblivion when Goku screams at Agent V “Stop calling me that!”

And in Call It What You Want when Goten asks this:

Goten: uncle Vegeta how do saiyan tell they like eachother

V: they don’t, they just fight

Goten: but you and dad fight all the time, does that mean you like eachother

V: chokes

11. Fav scene ? If it’s from someone else’s fic, aaa so hard so many good ones!! Please don’t be offended if not chosen it’s 130am for me here lol. I’ll go with Caecus by @capsulecrisistime because it broke my heart when Vegeta gave up, or Once again @engineerdz Guiltless fic when they first kiss, first kiss!! or @vakaara Cold day fic when Vegeta was very cutely being not- jealous over Broly, @dulcineawrites Take Care gift fic when Goku bandages Vegeta’s palm.

If it’s my fic, probably the whole sequence in Agent Oblivion when Goku uncovers who Agent V is all the way to when Vegeta sacrifices himself again and Goku’s all NO I WONT ALLOW THIS and gets Merus to link their life force together

Or in “Call it what you want” when Goku’s laughing at Vegeta after 18 kisses him on the cheek as thanks for saving Marron (I’m still kind of 👉👈 proud of my characterisation of 18 here, I’ve been told it was spot on with the kakavegeness too)

12. Ah treasure fic is hard to choose. At this point I’m going to assume it’s referring to my fics.

Maybe Agent Oblivion because it literally is all my epics thrown together - identity mess, Goku and Vegeta slow burn, endless saving eachother, Vegeta fighting off Majin a second time and facing punishment for his crimes like the dignified royal prince he is and both him and Goku being all badass in THIS NEXT CHAPTER COMING 😆😆 and well it was written through as a way cope with a loss and tough point of my life. So yes. But I treasure all my fics to be honest because so much heart was involved

13. Think I accidentally answered this up there

14. Vegeta Goku, Goku Vegeta. I have a fondness for 18, Merus and relate to future trunks as a person for reasons

Since writing a 17 POV fic I have become more attached to him too

But favourite??? Without a doubt Vegeta and Goku

15. This is more chapter titles than story for me

Agent Oblivion (I feel that’s unique, you won’t find another like it)

The Defiant One

Scratching The Surface because it was from Scratch the cat’s POV about kakavege. I know I’m lame but it was a pun I couldn’t resist 🤣

16 does kakavege tag count? Otherwise slow burn

17. Teen and up, I always try to play safe and put M

18. All my fics have dry humour, and theme or something greater I am exploring through the characters, if you look for it. All of it

If you’re talking a smaller scale answer I insert an allusion to stardust in every fic because “we’re all made of star stuff” (Vegeta and Goku’s home planet has been reduced to stardust after all)

19. I think this so similar to many authors response - have fun

I stress out a lot over what I write and whether the jigsaw fits but It truly should be fun because it’s fic and what you love

20. This fic is not yet out (hunger games kakavege and healer vegeta!) so for now I’ll say “This space between us “ because it’s my realistic take on Goku and Vegetas relationship or Agent Oblivion which has been repeatedly told to me to be very unique not because of the identity mess but because every layer from the villain to the plot to the twists has been very different and good diff

This was told to me, I am not saying it of myself

But ask me again in a couple of months and I might say that Hunger games fic

Thanks for asking me @baby-buu-buu

[dweemeister]

Kiss of Death (1947)

When 20th Century Fox put together the pieces to launch a production of film noir Kiss of Death, the picture was to be a vehicle for leading man Victor Mature. Mature had impressed Fox’s chief executive, Darryl F. Zanuck, in a supporting performance as Doc Holliday in My Darling Clementine (1946). Zanuck wished to reward the Fox contractee with a starring role, buying the rights to the film’s story with Mature in mind. But no one at Fox expected what would happen next: an actor debuting in his first film role would overshadow Mature. Kiss of Death marks the cinematic debut for Richard Widmark, best-known at the time for his Broadway work in pleasant, romantic comedy roles. For his first movie appearance, Widmark – and I don’t write something like this lightly – provides one of the most terrifying debuts in film history. This is not to downplay the performances (of Mature, Brian Donlevy, or fellow debutant Coleen Gray) or the filmmaking, but Widmark’s performance alone make Kiss of Death – directed by Henry Hathaway, from a screenplay by Ben Hecht and Charles Lederer – an essential film noir.

After a failed jewelry store robbery on Christmas Eve, ex-con Nick Bianco (Victor Mature) is offered leniency from New York City Assistant District Attorney Louis D’Angelo (Brian Donlevy) if Nick can provide the names of his accomplices to the robbery. Against all common sense and in the belief his accomplices will take care of his wife and daughters, Nick refuses. He is handed a twenty-year sentence in Sing Sing. Several months into the sentence, he learns that his wife has committed suicide following a rape by one of his accomplices* and that his daughters have been handed over to an orphanage. Former babysitter Nettie Cavallo (Coleen Gray) divulges this news to Nick, who then indicates his desire to cooperate with the ADA. In an arrangement agreed to by D’Angelo and Nick’s lawyer, Earl Howser (Taylor Holmes), Nick becomes a jailhouse informant and is given the possibility of an earlier parole. While serving as a jailhouse informant, he will encounter Tommy Udo (Widmark) – who, eventually, uses any means at his disposal to keep Nick silent about his plans and partners-in-crime.

The film also stars Mildred Dunnock (appearing briefly in one of the most memorable scenes in any film noir), character actors Howard Smith and Millard Mitchell, and only the second credited film for eventual star Karl Malden.

Before commenting on how the performances heighten what could have been your run-of-the-mill film noir, Norbert Brodine’s (1938’s Merrily We Live, 1949’s Thieves’ Highway) cinematography and J. Watson Webb Jr.’s (1944’s The Lodger, 1952’s With a Song in My Heart) editing are superb. One only has to watch the opening moments of the film to witness the benefits of their collaboration. The failed robbery scene is a textbook example of economical filmmaking. Webb’s cutting neither lingers nor moves away too rapidly for the audience’s comprehension. Brodine’s strategic placements of his camera and use of blocking – of Mature, the supporting actors, extras, and the production design – ratchets up the tension, suggesting without any words how little room for error there is in this operation. Small details such as what level an elevator is on allow the audience to agonize – however much we do not want to see this robbery succeed – over the robbers’ wasted seconds. In Kiss of Death’s tensest scenes, this mercurial combination splices into moments that will shock and unnerve. Kiss of Death is an ideal counterargument to black-and-white film’s uninformed naysayers but, more compellingly, an entry point for film noir novices.

When complemented with Richard Widmark’s performance, Kiss of Death becomes horrifying. Widmark’s face often sports a toothy half-grin that only serves to intimidate. To make matters worse, as Tommy Udo, his staccato snigger accompanies a grin belying a man unhinged, delighting in his sadistic and psychopathic ways. Udo’s disconcerting voice and manner of speech reveals a character as slippery as a soapy eel. The way he tells a cop prodding for information that, “I wouldn’t give you the skin off a grape,” comes laced with dismissal, menace, and even playfulness.

It is difficult to watch the harm Tommy Udo brings to others. But Widmark is so convincing in the role, it is impossible to keep one’s eyes off of him. If you are aware about the basics of the Hays Code, you can easily guess Tommy Udo’s fate. But beyond the scope of the film’s narrative, the character inspired certain men in American colleges and universities to form Tommy Udo clubs or fraternities. These clubs and fraternities codified Udo’s disgusting male chauvinism – as if colleges and universities needed any more such behavior. It is a magnificent about-face from Widmark’s Broadway roles at the time; his actual off-screen persona (by all accounts, Widmark was one of the kindest people in Hollywood and was known to apologize for any hurtful words or behaviors he performed while in character on a film shoot); and many of the upstanding roles he would play later in his career.

Though outshone by Widmark, Mature strikes the balance of being a former hoodlum and caring parent. His physical acting cannot hide his character’s violent past, but – akin to his performance as Doc Holliday the previous year – there is ample room for melancholy and remorse. Mature pairs well with Coleen Gray, whose innocent demeanor recalls her later performances in Red River (1948) and other film noir projects.

Speaking of film noir, most noir is set in an urban environment and filmed on a soundstage. Kiss of Death is no exception to this rule, but a decent portion of the film was shot on-location in New York City and numerous interiors do not feel as if shot on a soundstage. The Bianco family home has a riverfront view in Queens and the interior and exteriors of the Chrysler Building (where the opening heist is filmed), Criminal Courts Building, Sing Sing (Hathaway had Mature and Widmark go through a simulation of convict processing to help them embody the mindset of a prisoner), among other locations. Quotations from the main theme of Alfred Newman’s score to Street Scene (1931) bolsters the authenticity of the film’s New York environment. In terms of backgrounds and production design, there is little sense of artificiality that might have emanated from an all-too-obvious soundstage. Hathaway’s direction posits Kiss of Death as documentary-like without ever quite crossing the lines of fiction and non-fiction. In combination with the performances, these decisions, in aggregate, elevate Kiss of Death from just another film noir. No disrespect intended to the esteemed and prolific screenwriters, Ben Hecht (1932’s Scarface, 1946’s Notorious) and Charles Lederer (1940’s His Girl Friday, 1960’s Ocean’s Eleven), but this was not their most original screenplay – ideologically, structurally, or in terms of character development.

Other reviewers have noted how Tommy Udo might have been influenced by the Joker from the Batman comics. Some go further, claiming that Widmark was a fan of Batman and based Udo’s persona on the Joker and that actor Frank Gorshin based his portrayal of The Riddler in the 1960s Batman television series on Udo. There are no primary sources to confirm any of these claims. If any prior narrative media influenced Widmark’s performance, I cannot confirm any such claims however convincing, on the surface, they might be. The provenance of the influences of and by this performance remains a mystery.

Kiss of Death derives its power almost solely from its performances and nail-biting action. The latter is almost entirely accomplished with slower and/or less motion than one might expect. It is another tribute to the editing’s manipulation of space and time that segments featuring a steady walk, a seemingly ordinary dinner table conversation, or a character sitting alone in darkness watching the movement across the street can leave viewers with wide eyes and goosebumps. Kiss of Death may not stake a claim to being one of the best examples of film noir. Yet through its incredible performances and dramatic ferocity, it will leave impressions that will jangle even the most composed viewers.

My rating: 8/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

* Actress Patricia Morrison (1943′s The Song of Bernadette, 1946′s Dressed to Kill... but better known for her stage performances) was cast as Nick Bianco’s wife. She filmed both the rape and suicide scenes, but both were cut in the final print. It is unknown who – Hathaway? Kohlmar? Zanuck? – made this decision. But I imagine that the Production Code Administration, applying the Hays Code which forbade such depictions, might have been instrumental in forcing Fox to drop the scenes.

[spockandawe]

HEY THERE, you have me interested in The Untamed but I'm a little lost as to where to start, there's both a 50 episode normal version and a 20 episode special edition, which should I watch/start with? Also WHAT does your svsss tag stand for? I'm seeing "The Untamed" and "Chén Qíng Lìng" and "Mo Dao Zu Shi" and "Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" thrown around as synonyms or related pieces of media, but nothing with svsss!

Sure thing!!

Okay, to start with, I’d definitely go with the 50-episode version. It’s a Lot, and there is some padding added to the story compared to the original book, but twenty episodes seems really, really short to do justice to the central plot 

(a quick skim of google tells me that the special edition leans harder into the original novel’s gayness, which the show has to be coy about, because china. i think there are expanded scenes featuring the two leads, which is awesome, because their acting is AMAZING, but that just means the plot scenes are even more compressed. I saw at least one person recommend that you not do the special edition unless you’ve consumed the story in at least one other more standard format already)

Also! Iirc, the show is available on youtube and netflix, among other platforms, though those two are wonderfully accessible. However, comma, I do hear from people fluent in chinese that the subtitles sometimes are inaccurate in unnecessary/unfortunate ways. From what I hear, viki has the best complete set of subtitles (I think there may be fansub projects in progress, but I am not at all in touch with those. I still haven’t watched the show myself).

And the general summary of my current webnovel fixation! There’s this webnovel author who goes by mxtx, who currently has three complete books out, which have all been translated into english. Then after I finished those, I started branching out into other authors and webnovels, though I’m not too deep into that end of the pool yet. I’ll break each book into a separate paragraph for clarity. 

Oh, and. Each of these books is explicitly gay, and set in ancient fantasy china, in a wuxia/xianxia setting, which I’m not too familiar with myself, but I believe it functions a lot like how authors will use ‘ancient fantasy europe’ as a playground where they don’t necessarily need to match up to established countries/cities/etc, but they expect readers to recognize certain conventions, like I’d be able to recognize a western author writing a basic feudal setting, or recognize witches and wizards, without them explaining the whole thing from the bottom up. Since I’m not familiar, it raised the difficulty level a little for me to get into the genre, but the webnovel translators tend to use footnotes and I picked up a lot as I went on.

(if you are interested in any of these, novelupdates.com is a good central resource collecting links to various fan translation projects)

So! Mxtx. Her earliest book is The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (SVSSS), which is also the shortest and most linear of her books. The general premise is that a guy who’s been hate-reading this (straight) stallion harem webnovel with a dark protagonist. He goes to bed, and wakes up in the novel, as the protagonist’s dickbag teacher, who is doomed to eventually die horribly. He wants to not die, and is also a decent human being, so the book follows the “original” novel derailing from its intended path, and accidentally getting super duper gay. This one is about to come out in donghua form, but I think that may be its first non-book adaption.

Her second book, which was adapted into The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling (CQL), is also known as The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation/Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS), which really manages to be the hardest of her books to summarize. Wei Wuxian, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation, dies. Thirteen years later, he wakes up in someone else’s body. Most of the world would like him to stay dead, tbh, but he’s a good egg, and he and his old friend(????) go forth and solve a necromantic mystery together, and also there is romance-romance and ten million family feelings. This one gets nonlinear, with several extended flashback sequences, and the story STARTS at about the midway point of the plot. This has been adapted into an audio drama at least once, a manhua, a donghua, and now a live action show, so it goes by a million different names in its various formats.

Her third book, and the LONGEST, is Heaven Official’s Blessing/Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF), and oh my god, it’s so long, and I love it so, so much. This gets into high fantasy much  more than the other two, including the idea that as people develop their cultivation and powers, they may eventually achieve immortality and ascend to the heavens. The story follows Xie Lian who achieved immortality and ascended to heaven! And then fell. And then ascended! And fell again. Eight hundred years later, he ascends for the third time. He meets Hua Cheng, the ridiculously powerful ghost king, who most of the other immortals are terrified of. But Hua Cheng seems to like Xie Lian! And Xie Lian thinks Hua Cheng is a sweet boy! (hua cheng is a sweet boy, but only for xie lian). This also has extended flashback sequences, but is a more linear story than MDZS, I think. Also it made me cry, which, wow, rude. I love it so incredibly much. This also exists as a manhua, but I think it’s still being published? I haven’t read it yet.

NOW. Mxtx is working on a fourth book, but it’s not out in chinese yet, never mind english. But I needed More. I was getting some SVSSS vibes from this one other book, which, *wobbly hand motions*, but I am enjoying the hell out of this book purely for its own sake.

Meatbun is an author with other books that I haven’t read yet, but I am currently in the middle of The Husky And His White Cat Shizun/Er Ha He Ta De Bai Mo Shi Zun (Erha/2ha), which is at this moment being adapted to a live action tv show called Immortality. There are MANY warnings that go with this book, though the google docs translation files do a good job of placing warnings at the front of every document and in front of relevant chapters. The general premise! Mo Ran basically conquered the entire world, put down all resistance by force, and was a super powerful but Kinda Dumb emperor. As part of this, he took his old teacher, who he despised with a burning passion, prisoner, and abused him a Lot. The story starts as rebels try to mount an assault on his palace, and Mo Ran’s cousin gets impatient with how slowly things are moving and runs ahead of the group. He finds that (suicide warning:) Mo Ran has... taken poison, and is in the middle of dying. This doesn’t stick. He wakes up as a teenager, apparently having traveled back in time, and starts living through events again, with the knowledge of his past life. It took me a while to warm up to this story, but ohhhh my goodness, it’s so TASTY. The translation for this one is ongoing, and I am in AGONY waiting for further updates.

So those are the ones I’m currently into and mostly blogging about! I also read Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir, mostly because feynite wrote an SVSSS fic set in the universe of that novel, which was good in some ways, left me cold in others (and the original novel is straight, with a society with rigid gender roles, so making it super gay in the fic made the setting much more interesting to me). Meatbun has other writing, which I haven’t sampled yet, but I am definitely interested in doing that sometime soon. 

Sorry, I know this is a LOT, so if you have any other questions feel free to ask me!! I got into these mostly via being interested in the untamed, so I read them as 1) mdzs, 2) svsss, 3) tgcf, 4) erha, which was an order that worked well for me. But if someone was looking for a general order to read them in, independent of that, I might suggest 1) svsss, 2) mdzs, 3) tgcf, 4) erha. They’re all really good, and scratch different emotional itches, and each of them has at least a few characters who sucker-punch me RIGHT in the goddamn heart. They’ve been a HUGE help for me dealing with the restlessness and/or apathy of quarantine, so I’ve been evangelizing them to pretty much anyone who will listen to me, hahaha

[rivalsforlife]

For the fanfic ask: F, K, S, X, Y (whichever ones you feel like answering) <3 Love your work!

Alright, thank you!!

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

oh no. Uhhh I’m probably going to think of something else like five seconds after posting it haha, but at the moment one of the dialogue scenes I really like is the dinner scene near the end of chapter 4 of The Catch-Up Game (linked here for easy reference). The... whole thing is pretty long and I like a lot of it, so I’ll just share a (relatively?) short snippet form it here:

“You did more than enough, Edgeworth,” Phoenix insisted. “If it weren’t for the Jurist System — founded upon your research — I would’ve never been able to clear up my scandal. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have gotten my badge back at all.”

“The badge wasn’t all there was to it.”

“... Maybe not,” Phoenix admitted. “It’s not like we can change that. And it’s not like I would’ve wanted you to do more. It was difficult enough to accept help as it was. Besides, you’re — you’re here now, aren’t you?”

“Phoenix,” said Edgeworth.

It’s not like it was unheard of for Edgeworth to say his first name. It just… happened so rarely, Phoenix could count on one hand the times he’s heard it since grade school. Only when it was just the two of them, never when they were in some sort of public place.

But… Phoenix really liked the way Edgeworth said his name. It wasn’t like he pronounced it differently, or anything. There was just a sense of hesitance to it, like it was something precious he was holding in his mouth, and speaking it too forcefully would cause it to shatter. His name was all soft syllables, in Edgeworth’s voice which rarely softened anything, and it made Phoenix feel like he fell back into deep water after he’d just regained his footing.

“So much has changed,” said Edgeworth. “Hasn’t it?”

“Mhm, tell me about it,” said Phoenix, sinking back into his chair, trying to stay afloat. “Maya’s the Master of her village, Pearls is looking into college, Apollo’s running his own firm while Athena’s taking on more cases by herself, Trucy’s off on tour… and you, Chief Prosecutor.” He let out a faint, self-deprecating laugh. “Meanwhile it feels like I’m stuck in place. Still the same attorney I was when I started out.”

“I don’t think that’s true, but even if it were, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?” Edgeworth asked. “I hastened towards my position, as it was the best vantage point from which to eliminate corruption. I know I’ve made great changes. I don’t regret my choices, and wouldn’t choose differently, if I had the chance to do them over. But…” He gazed at Phoenix for a long time. “There are things I missed,” he continued, barely audible. “In some ways I’m still stuck, as well, and the thought of moving forward… terrifies me.”

“... I think I know what you mean.”

“Do you?”

Phoenix didn’t answer, lowering his gaze to where Edgeworth’s hand rested almost halfway across the table. If he wanted to, he could reach out to hold it. Broad hands that he would trust the world in. But he still didn’t know what it would feel like in his, or what expression would cross Edgeworth’s face if he had the courage to take it.

Edgeworth stared at him with an unreadable expression, almost curious. “Well, you don’t have to say anything,” he said. “What matters most is that I can be here with you now.”

“... Yeah,” said Phoenix. “I agree.”

One of the major difficulties I have in writing, especially writing dialogue, is being Even Remotely Subtle at any given point, because I am an extremely unsubtle person who does not pick up on social cues! This scene though, actually most of this chapter, has to sort of subtly set up the big event at the end of chapter 5, as well as make all of Phoenix’s motivations seem sort of plausible before he actually gives the explanation a little later. Reading it over it wasn’t actually very subtle but for me I think it was a huge step in the right direction haha. 

Mainly: Phoenix fears that Miles is going to leave him again, along with everyone else he loves in his life, since everyone is starting to move on ahead without him. He’s only just gotten Miles in his life in a semi-permanent way and is terrified of losing that. Miles, meanwhile, has been so focused on his career his whole life and is just now starting to realize the other aspects of life he’d been missing out on, namely developing his relationship with Phoenix, which he’s slowly starting to work up the courage to make a move on. And they’re both aware now that they love each other (even if Phoenix can’t fully admit it to himself yet), but scared to actually take that step forward, so they tiptoe around the subject even though they both know they’re discussing it... and end up taking wildly different conclusions away from the conversation as a result, which leads to the disaster at the end of chapter 5.

Also I just kind of like how pretty some of it managed to sound, somehow. The description of how Miles says Phoenix’s name is probably one of my favourite lines in the fic haha. Overall, I feel proud of myself any time I think I can pull off a dialogue scene where people don’t say what they mean haha.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Hmm prooooobably the Iris Wright Ace Attorney AU which is the one where Phoenix ends up killed by Dahlia, and to atone, Iris helps put her in jail and then takes on Phoenix’s path as an attorney... which I haven’t really written much for yet, but talked about here a little while ago. 

It’s fun and angsty because Iris has to deal with a lot of guilt of pretty much being the downfall of the two people she cared about the most, but you’ve also got Miles, who has his realization that maybe what he’s doing isn’t great so much harder and faster because the realization comes with “when you ignored the truth, it set off a chain of events that caused the death of your childhood friend.” 

Phoenix and Miles don’t end up as close in this AU by virtue of Phoenix being dead before they even meet, but Miles learns Phoenix became an attorney to save him -- and was in the courthouse when he met Dahlia because he was studying to become an attorney -- and even though Miles hadn’t spoken to Phoenix in ages, he was still Miles’ first friend and someone he held dear to his heart all those years they were separate (which I do think is true in canon too, but seeing him as an opponent made that less apparent in AA1-Miles), so news of his death indirectly because of Miles hits him pretty badly.

I did write a fic about Miles responding to Phoenix’s letters in this AU during the events of JFA as a way of trying to work through his grief. I was going to post it during the AU day for narumitsu week this year but ended up not doing that since The Catch-Up Game was stressful enough for people haha.

... I can probably come up with angstier stuff if pressed but AA isn’t one of the fandoms I crave a lot of angst for. 

OH WAIT NO I looked through my fic ideas doc and saw one that’s basically a DL-6 But Worse AU where Miles dies instead of Gregory -- kind of like The Illusion of Control, which broke me, but plot-related stuff would probably be different. A key part is them somehow managing to solve DL-6 in seven years, so that there’s the thematic parallel of Gregory then taking in Franziska (and raising her well!)

(S I already answered here!)

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

... Apparently Miles Edgeworth? I don’t necessarily like making him suffer, I just think that you can explore many interesting aspects of his character... through his suffering... and given my fics, he’s the one I make suffer the most, so. Does it count as making him suffer if it’s canon that did it first?

Y: A character you want to protect.

Mostly the kid characters who have suffered so much more than they deserve: namely, Pearl and Trucy. Especially Trucy at the moment considering the repulsive stuff people have been writing about her in the aa ao3 tag recently. 

[basilone]

The lovely @doc-bryan tagged me on this, thank you! I’m pretty much gonna tag anyone who hasn’t done this yet because I honestly have no idea how many of you already did it, lol? So take it if you want it! 

1. alias/name: Eva (I don’t have a nickname or anything but I will just say the pronunciation of my name is not Ee-va but more of an Ay-va to you English speakers? ;))  2. birthday: February 9 3. zodiac sign: Aquarius (and yeah if you’ve ever read a description of an Aquarius? you will know me 100% okay I am my star sign in the most ridiculous way even when all the earth in the rest of my birth chart makes me appear really fucking stable to anyone who hasn’t talked to 3am cryptid me) 4. height: 174cm, I refuse to do the inches-thing cos it has me confused  5. hobbies: writing, reading, painting, Photoshopping, and all other creative things really? oh and I talk way too much shit about football (soccer for you Americans lol) for someone who hates doing sports 6. favorite color: blue 7. favorite book: that’s like saying “hey let’s make you decide between hundreds/thousands of books you’ve read and loved” which is IMPOSSIBLE but also I cannot let this thing slide by without at least once mentioning Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina and Mary Gentle’s Ash: A Secret History and Chris Wooding’s The Braided Path trilogy and and and -- yeeeeah.  8. last song: Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal (because I was writing a Bastogne-scene and this song screams it) 9. last film/show: I’m still working my way through The Umbrella Academy and the last film I saw is Far From The Madding Crowd (the one with Carey Mulligan? I love the visuals in that film ugh) 10. inspiration: I’m going to leave you with both my Pinterest boards here and here as well as with my regular blog’s writing inspo tag and I could probably drop half a dozen Spotify playlists here but the one I have on repeat right now is the one inspired by the show Yellowstone so that’s the one that’s getting linked up here.  11. story behind url: there is no story except my wild, wild rush of affection toward a man who is possibly THE most unappreciated character in the whole of The Pacific/HBO War fandom and I personally felt responsible for spreading that love to every corner of this space by adopting his name for my blog so there we go

[sveasauvageon]

Ce qu'il a donné Un an, deux ans, cent ans de bonheur Puis la vie te cueille comme une fleur || GW

☾♔; March 5, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: Котик by Alexander Rybak   ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN OLIVER   ☾♔; GW To do list ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

Title: lyrics from "Requiem" by Alma

--featured not-mine oc's - Eloise Avery | @themadmonarchist - Minah Delacroix | @maybones (see what I did there with the Serena and Blair positioning? -eyebrow wriggle thing-)

- - - x - - -

Updated GW to-do list: - Division of labour (we should really start saying when one of us starts working on something because otherwise we'll end up with redundancies since we think disturbingly alike) - the "chuck" problem: okay, tbh, it's more of an Ed Westwick problem than a chuck one. I don't know how you guys have reacted to the me too and time's up movements, but mine has been to cut all those men out of my sphere of entertainment, I even cut out "witch hunt", "not all men" type dudes, and "only fondled their breasts on tv and apologized for it" men (aka Ben Affleck), because time is up for all of you! Soz, not point, but since last October, Ed Westwick has been caught up in this, and thus far 3 women have accused him of ra.pe and a fourth of sexual misconduct. Now, I know it's not Chuck's fault that his portrayer is a ra.pist (allegedly), but there is still an issue with including his face, etc in aesthetics and gossip girl material because his face is that of a ra.pist's (allegedly). Tbh, I wanna leave him (Ed Westwick) out of material and only discuss Chuck and avoid showing his face or use a dreamcast instead, but like, I dunno what you guys wanna do. Chuck is a great character, although, early on, he was quite rap.ey, the character, and it does not help that his portrayer has since been revealed to be a ra.pist. Allegedly.

- also, going back up to the redundancy issues, I love both of your aesthetic collections and playlists, so for those, I was thinking for playlist, we should make one big playlist on spotify that's collaborative, so that everyone can add their music and it'll kind of be a huge explosion of musical tastes. But also, maybe have a collection that has a link on the group info for individual playlists for characters, and the group made by us and/or others. For aesthetic collections, basically the same idea with one big collaborative collection, and then that collection will have links to other collections (yes, I'm a little ocd).

- also, also, this is completely unrelated, but I was watching trevor noah's show and he made a joke about how much trump's male employees snitch and gossip like sht, but the woman haven't revealed squat. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpmlVWFTW8A) It's really funny, and honestly, stupid people fcking up in trump's circle very publically is basically what's keeping me alive. It's just hilarious how stupid some of these people are. ___________________________ Another Update (I'll leave those up until @maybones weighs in on them)

I was working on a draft of the group description to show you guys, and I was using a template of one of my old groups and rewriting stuff and changing it to suit our purposes and I realized how many freaking rules I have (I'm so picky), anyway, some of this stuff obvs won't be applicable (like, there's one about characters dying and I don't think we were planning on going that dark. although, serena was an accessory and chuck kind of killed his dad, so meh, maybe?) anyway, I wanted your opinions on what rules to keep and/or change:

✠ RULES AND GUIDELINES {GENERAL} ✠

I. Please be kind to each other. Your characters can be total jerks, but let us, the creators and/or writers be kind, polite, and respectful (aka, channel your inner Canadian guys). There will be absolutely ZERO tolerance of discrimination. You will be immediately removed from the group, and your actions will be documented and reported. PM me immediately if someone harasses you or you notice harassment between members. ⠀⠀Ia. If you want to be anonymous, for any reason, you can send in your complaints here {https://goo.gl/kbTXeU}, it's a google form, and it doesn't ask you verify your email, and the username option, is just an option, it's not required. If I need to make further contact/information from you regarding your concern, I'll make a group announcement vaguely describing your issue, and you can send in further information anonymously again. I'll be checking the form at least once a week.  

⠀II. I'm not giving this any specific rating, however, I will say, you're free to include whatever "adult" content you want, whether it be swears, gore, or the dirty stuff (I'm totally a mature, grown up adult guys). However, do be careful of polyvore's stupid censors, use workarounds like writing your story in google docs, or accents for swear words.  

⠀III. This is a non-elimination group,  but characters can die. It may be used for inactive members, or if you wanna kill 'em off or maybe revive as a ghost or something else. Permission will always be asked of the creator first (with the exception of characters belonging to inactive members, whose characters may be killed off as penalty).  

⠀IV. If you miss 3 consecutive contests (without informing me), you'll receive an "x", "|" will be used to break up non-consecutively missed contests, anyway, if you miss 3 in a row, that will open your character to be killed by either myself or other group members. You will be notified, but your permission will not be asked. If you wish to rejoin at a later date, and you character has not been killed off, simply pm me and continue with whatever contest is in progress. If your character has been killed off, you can re-audition with a new one, and I will transfer your points to your new character.

⠀V. Always pm me, your vodka aunt mod, if you feel you'll be unable to enter a contest, your reason doesn't matter. Just let me know you can't get your entry in, that way you won't receive an "X".

⠀VI. Plotting will be left open throughout the group, however, please establish a few of these before contests begin, and always ask permission when using someone else's character(s) and be sure to tag them in your sets. Please, PLEASE work with others, I hate when people just do their own thing in oc battle groups, this is a collaborative story, everyone's stories and ideas matter. I will call you out if I notice something that contradicts the connected story, and I will always, ALWAYS incorporate the stories of group members into the overall narrative. ⠀⠀VIa. Narrative precedence will always be given to the person who completely finishes the description of their set first.

⠀VII. There is not a list of roles to pick from, you can create whatever roles you want, however, I may ask you to change it if I feel your character may become "villager number 6" and not fit in with the action. Rules, regulations, and suggestions for roles can be found here: [placeholder].

⠀VIII. Always be sure to tag the member's when you use their characters and give credit where credit is due.

⠀IX. Plagiarism will not be tolerated and you will be removed and reported. If you're inspired by someone else's work, credit them, otherwise you're stealing.

⠀X. Sets unrelated to the group will be removed.

⠀XI. You will NOT be required to write out a full story. Story portions can be answered in paragraphs, but full stories are always welcome and appreciated.  

⠀XII. Do not use templates for contest entries unless otherwise stated.

⠀XIII. Always feel free to contact me with any and all questions, and/or suggestions. You can also send them through the anonymous complaints form, found here: https://goo.gl/kbTXeU

_________________________________

✠ RULES AND REGULATIONS {FACECLAIMS} ✠

I'm quite picky about these, but I'm not gonna be pedantic about it this time. You do you. Having said that, there are still some rules and regulations, as well as a challenge.

⠀I. All faceclaims must be above the age of majority (that's 18+ nearly universally on the planet), there is an exception for child characters but all main OCs must be at least 18.

⠀II. All faceclaims MUST be professionals. They can be actors, models, even singers. However, they must be singers of some note signed onto a label company, like Taylor Swift, or my beloved Dima Bilan (who's also an actor. a good one. yes, I'm bragging). Your faceclaim CANNOT be someone insta-famous, youtubers, or tumblr tweens.

⠀III. Whilst I'm not going to reject any faceclaim on the pedantic basis of "I don't like them", there are some faceclaims that I will and for one reason, and one reason only. Sexual misconduct of any and all kinds. Hollywood and the media are finally cleaning house, and I don't want those dicks in my nerd sht either. To be clear, I don't care whether the misconduct was simply groping a woman's breasts on camera and apologizing about 10 years later, I am going to reject everyone who's been accused. Examples include; Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Ed Westwick, Jeffrey Tambor, Danny Masterson, Andy Dick, Dustin Hoffman, and fcking Mel Gibson. (Side note, these are just actors, for a wider list of men who have fallen since the Harvey Weinstein story broke in October 2017, I recommend you check out this article {https://goo.gl/Uq65Qv} by the NY Times) ⠀⠀IIIa. If you notice I have accepted someone who has been accused of sexual misconduct/harassment/assault please inform me right away, and ideally with a link to a news source from where you learned about (I will google it myself, but the ready-to-go link would be much appreciated.) ⠀⠀IIIb. Also, Alec Baldwin is on my list of rejected faceclaims. He's not been accused of anything, yet, but I'm not liking his defensive attitude of alleged rapists. Fúck off. Matt Damon also falls under subsection B, for a slightly different reason, but fúck him too. In this watershed moment, I have no time for defensive d i c k s and "not all men" a s s h o l e s.

⠀IV. The Challenge: a lot of us have certain fave fc's we use over and over again (I'm certainly guilty of that), so my challenge is for you to use a faceclaim you have never used before as your primary oc. This is gonna be based on the honour system, some of you guys I may know well, so I'll know if you're using your fave again, but others I may not, and I can't aggressively stalk everyone, so I won't call out anyone for not doing it. It's just a fun little challenge, worth 10 bonus points, if you opt to do it. But again, it's based on the honour system, I'm not gonna stalk anyone, but if I know you and you lie to me on the audition form. First, I'll be hurt, and second, I'll say sorry and tell you you're not getting those bonus points.

(I know, two sets of rules makes me such a di.ck, it's why I need your help guys!)