#also the 'checking out' also happens to shows I didn't like ofc but it hurts more when it's just a mid show that I'm SO over

[namtanlovesfilm]

trying to finish a show that I've already mentally checked out of is the WORST bruh, like I have just one episode left, only 30 minutes to watch, and I didn't even dislike the show that much but... my brain is checked out. that shit is so hard...

[themultifanshipper]

Can you write a fluffy carcar fic where imagine carlos trying to get oscar into golf? I saw oscar say somewhere that golf is frustrating- but carlos tells him "it's not frustrating, it's about patience" or something like that

He went to the golf course bc lando actually invited him after the wcc and all, and since lando was really insistent and he had time to kill, and he was like sure one afternoon won't hurt. So he goes, there by genuine accident they bump into carlos, and lando didn't think carlos was even back home so he was just as surprised to see him and then carlos ofc joins them but then lando has to leave (how convenient) so oscars suddenly all awkward

BUT THEN CARLOS IS LIKE ITS OK ILL TEACH YOU, ILL MAKE YOU LIKE GOLF

And suddenly oscars all flustered and both of them in their heads are all like "this is nice, omg this is really nice, why is this so nice!?"

Or something along those lines??

Oscar’s mind was going at a million miles an hour.

How he got into this predicament, with Carlos' strong arms wrapped around him while he shivered from the contact, was a mystery.

Warnings: smut, ass eating, inappropriate use of golfing equipment (gloves and balls specifically), public sex, kinda wild, i'll be honest there is not much fluff, asking me for fluff is like asking Fernando to retire, it ain't happening.

Lando. This was all Lando's fault.

He'd suggested going out for golf, which he knew Oscar wasn't particularly fond of.

And he was the one that had lost track of time and forgotten that he had a meeting to go to.

He'd also been the one to suggest Carlos join them, after running into the Spaniard by accident.

“It’s december!” he’d said. “We'll be the only ones on the golf course! It'll be fun!” he said. Well that was a fucking lie.

It may not have been high golfing season or whatever, but they ran into two people Lando knew from around Monaco, and Carlos.

The entire situation felt like the setup for a joke, and Oscar felt like he was the absolute butt of it.

Celebrating the WCC? Great idea. Golfing with Lando? Fine, why not. Golfing with Carlos? Not something he wanted to be doing in a million years.

He didn't not like Carlos, but every interaction they'd ever had could be summarised with two words: forced proximity.

Either they came together on track, or they were forced to interact by their mutual friends, namely Lando.

So he wasn't exactly fond of the man, but he tolerated him enough to be civil. And the less time he spent talking to him, the more time he had to check him out from afar.

Bexause he was hot as fuck, Oscar couldn't deny that. He'd caught himself checking his fellow drivers out on multiple occasions, but there were no cameras around now, so he could let his gaze wander a bit more freely.

As soon as Carlos agreed to go along with them, he knew this was going to be a long afternoon.

Golf just wasn't his thing. He’d tried. He'd really tried, he would do anything to please Lando.

But he thought it was a sport for pompous rich pricks who had absolutely nothing better to do with their time and money. He'd never had lessons, and Lando wasn't exactly a great teacher, so his form was shit, and to make matters worse, Lando and Carlos made fun of him for it.

Well excuse him for not growing up fucking rich!

“This is a shit sport!” he raged after missing yet another swing. “I just don’t get why you like it, it's so frustrating!”

Lando was too busy wheezing to reply.

“It is not frustrating, it is about patience. Observe”  Carlos put a ball on his tee, and positioned himself as if he was going to swing.

“You need to shift your weight as you swing, and don't aim for the ball, aim a few inches after the ball. And don't forget the position of your arms, the left one is straight while the right one is at a right angle, otherwise your aim will be all over the place…”

Carlos showed him the movement as he explained it, but Oscar had stopped listening entirely.

His eyes had zoned in on Carlos' arms. He knew the guy was fit, they were athletes after all, but he was absolutely astounded by how fucking enormous Carlos’ biceps were.

They were glistening with sweat under the sunlight as he flexed them. Then his eyes went to Carlos' pecs, which were also flexing, and looked like they were about to pop out of his polo shirt.

He was brought out of his reverie by Lando cursing loudly next to him.

“Shit! Guys I have to run, I completely forgot I have a meeting with my publicist in fifteen minutes!”

He left his stuff with them and sprinted away, promising to be back soon (they both knew he wouldn't, and one of them would inevitably have to drop his stuff off at his apartment).

Oscar was relieved, he could finally be out of this hell hole.

But as he picked up his bag of rented clubs to make his way back to the golf cart, Carlos put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Oh no, Cabrón. We are not done here. I am going to make you a professional if it is the last thing I do.”

Carlos teaching him golf sounded like the last thing he wanted to do, and the older man was smirking infuriatingly, as if torturing Oscar into liking golf was the most fun he could have.

But a part of Oscar was curious. Maybe he could have some fun of his own. He knew Carlos wasn't a particularly patient man. Maybe he could rile Carlos up enough for him to give up.

Making an F1 driver give up on anything was a hard feat, but Oscar liked a challenge.

It was a bit awkward at first, Carlos made him get into position, which he did very wrong on purpose, to try and frustrate Carlos.

But the man didn't even sigh, he just started explaining all about how the handle had to be pointing at his belly button, and his knees needed to be bent, and he needed to twist his shoulders while lifting the club while still looking at the ball, and then he had to-

Oscar had stopped listening again.

While explaining each action, Carlos' hands were moving Oscar's body around like a puppet.

His skin burned wherever Carlos' hands made contact.

And after a while it started getting to him. Carlos' touches were getting rougher, like he was getting sick of explaining and repositioning him over and over again.

But instead of chanting victory, Oscar's brain was slowly frying at the harsh grip Carlos had on his flesh.

They were both sweating in the sun, and Carlos was damp.

He was plastered to Oscar's back, his arms around Oscar's arms, hands gripping the handle over Oscar's hands as he tried his best to explain… whatever it is he was trying to explain.

Oscar’s brain was on one thing only: the hard planes of Carlos' body pressed against his.

The Spaniards breath smelled like the minty gum he'd been chewing earlier, and his mouth was so close to Oscar's cheek he could feel the heat of his breath as he spoke.

He was sweating, and not just from the sun, his body was on fire, and he could feel his blood rushing down from his brain to his nether regions.

Carlos hadn't noticed at first, fully absorbed in his long winded explanation of the subtleties of hip movements to emphasize striking power.

But when he grabbed Oscar's stiff hips to twist and move them the correct way, the younger man gasped out the tiniest of whimpers.

That made Carlos freeze. “Are you okay?”

His hands hadn't moved from Oscar's waist though, and that fact was making his head spin.

Carlos’ eyes followed the movement of Oscar's Adam’s apple as he swallowed before nodding shyly.

The flush creeping up the younger man's neck was enough for Carlos to understand what was happening.

He gave his hips another squeeze. “Oscar…”

The Aussie let out a shaky breath, the way Carlos whispered his name made him close his eyes in embarrassment.

“Yes?” his voice cracked and he closed his eyes, waiting for Carlos to yell at him for being inappropriate, or uninterested in golf, or gay… or something.

But the yelling never came, instead Carlos chuckled darkly and squeezed the flesh of his hips.

“Is my lesson making you too horny to think properly? Pathetic… And ironic given how you seem to be the one trying to distract me with these shorts” he spat, pulling at the hem of the offending shorts, which would be considered indecent to anyone who wasn't Oscar.

But Oscar had a habit of not realising how he looked, and today Carlos was having trouble not ogling his body.

Carlos’ hand barely brushed his bulge, and Oscar whimpered again, looking down to see just how tented his shorts were.

He had no idea he felt this way about Carlos, but here he was, hard as a rock and secretly wishing that Carlos would touch him more.

“Maybe I need to teach you some discipline before you can learn to play properly…”

Carlos nosed at the back of his sweaty neck, pulling his hips back against his own.

Oscar gasped when he felt the hard press of Carlos' cock through his shorts.

“Do not worry, I can teach you everything you need to know” he growled into Oscar's skin, hand sliding around to cup Oscar over his shorts.

That's how Oscar ended up pressed against the front of the golf cart, leaning on his elbows, and doing his best to stay quiet as Carlos ripped his shorts down his legs.

“If I didn't know any better, I would think you were hoping this would happen, given how slutty these shorts are.”

Oscar wanted to protest. They were practical! It was 25 degrees out and excuse him for not wanting to wear fucking chinos to golf.

“They're not sl-” he tried to argue but Carlos landed a harsh spank to the back of his thigh.

He yelped but Carlos scolded him.

“First lesson, no arguing with the teacher.”

He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Oscar's boxers and peeled them off, groaning at the plumpness of the flesh in front of him.

“My god, it's a miracle your ass fits in those shorts at all…” Oscar blushed at the compliment, he knew what his body looked like, he knew he was gifted in that department, but Carlos praising him was turning his brain to mush.

He let out a surprised half-moan half-whine when Carlos spread his cheeks and spat, right on his twitching hole.

The act was so dirty, they were out in the open but Oscar no longer cared, he needed more.

He could feel the cool material of Carlos' leather glove against his overheated skin.

Carlos rubbed the pad of his thumb over Oscar's slick rim, making him keen.

“Lesson two: you have to be quiet or we are going to get caught. Do you want this to be our last lesson?”

Oscar was trembling with need, and his legs were seconds away from giving out if Carlos didn't get on with it soon.

“No! Please…” he whined pathetically and Carlos laughed.

He crouched behind down, spreading Oscar open.

“Then keep your mouth shut”

He licked a stripe from his balls up to his crack, and it took everything Oscar had in him not to moan.

“Good boy” Carlos praised, and dove in, licking and prodding at his tight rim.

Oscar could feel the strong wet muscle opening him up, it was obscene.

He bit his hand to avoid making a noise , he didn't really care about being kicked off the course, but he would rather avoid getting caught, with Carlos of all people. He'd never hear the end of it.

The repetitive feeling of Carlos' tongue breaching him had him gasping into his hand.

He pushed his hips back, his back arching as he fucked himself on Carlos' tongue, and the older man moaned at how quickly Oscar's body was betraying his need to be fucked.

He pulled away to suck a couple of fingers into his mouth, wetting them thoroughly before pressing them into Oscar's slick hole.

Oscar was on fire. Carlos was using his gloved fingers to open him up, and the slick leather sliding into him made him want to rip his own hair out.

Carlos stood up and put a hand on Oscar's lower back to make him arch more, which he did gladly.

Carlos was surprised at how needy Oscar was under him, writhing and gasping every time his fingers brushed his prostate.

Suddenly he had an idea on how to keep Oscar's mouth occupied.

He reached into his pocket, where he had one of those extra large golf balls used for training, and tapped it against Oscar's lower lip.

“Open up, Oscar. You can suck on this to stop yourself making too much noise” and Oscar opened his mouth immediately and stuck out his tongue, taking the ball in his mouth almost too eagerly.

He was submitting beautifully, and Carlos had to unbutton his pants and pull them down, just to take some pressure off his now aching cock.

Once he deemed Oscar ready, he spit on his hand, slicking himself up and pushed in slowly.

Oscar couldn’t hold it in anymore, despite the ball gag, he moaned loud.

“Shit” Carlos hissed, slapping a hand over Oscar's mouth. “You need to be quiet”

Oscar was unable to respond, he was too busy drooling over how well Carlos' cock was stretching him out.

So Carlos took the ball out, accidentally shifting his hips which made Oscar’s eyes roll back and he let out a high pitched squeak.

Carlos then took his glove off, baled it up and shoved it into Oscar's mouth.

He then thrust into him hard enough to make him moan loudly again, and was satisfied when the glove successfully muffled the noise.

Or at least enough so that they couldn't be heard within a few hundred feet.

He kicked Oscars feet apart to spread him further, and slammed into him again.

Oscar was sure he could feel Carlos all the way up to his fucking throat with how deep he was inside him.

The sound of Carlos' hips slapping against Oscar's plump flesh made the two men wild as their bodies made contact over and over again, pushing and pulling against each other.

Oscar was doing his best to push back against the onslaught of Carlos' savage thrusts, but his body was slowly giving up on him.

His knees buckled, and Carlos wrapped his arms around him, pushing him harder against the now searing metal of the front of the cart.

He reached a hand down to wrap around Oscar's leaking cock, squeezing rythmically with each thrust and Oscar was a goner, he came with a muffled wail, painting Carlos' hand white, along with the front of the cart.

Carlos followed quickly after, hips stuttering as he filled the younger driver up, biting his lip to muffle his deep groan.

After a few seconds of trying to regain his sanity, he pulled his glove out of Oscars mouth and pulled his softening cock out of him.

Oscar sighed, leaning his head against the surface with his eyes closed in bliss.

He didn't register Carlos moving around until he felt him lick up the cum that was seeping out of his used hole.

He jolted, gasping as Carlos cleaned him up, lapping up his own cum and overstimulating Oscar to the point where he started wriggling and the Spaniard had to hold him in place.

The lewd slurping sounds were almost humiliating, and he was suddenly acutely aware of how exposed he was.

But that just served to turn him on again, and if Carlos had carried on for much longer, he would have definitely been up for another round.

Thankfully though, he soon deemed Oscar cleaned up of his cum, and helped him pull his underwear and those goddamn shorts back up.

He turned Oscar around and grabbed the back of his neck to press their lips together in a kiss that very quickly turned filthy and they made out for a few minutes, until they were in desperate need of air.

As they panted into each other's mouths, Carlos grinned.

“Rule number three: one lesson is never enough”

Needless to say, Oscar got a membership at that club. And he met up with Carlos every week for lessons, which they did not invite Lando to.

 Lando found that a bit strange, but he wasn't going to complain, he was just happy his two friends were finally getting along.

[sunllghtt]

Hi are you up for a messy scene analysis thing

Ofc it's this scene who do you think I am

I've been wanting to do this for God knows how long but I never had the balls and neither the words to (still don't) but I wanna try to properly talk about this scene. My primal instinct is to sit here and tell you how much this 30 second scene changed the trajectory of these characters in the next movies, how it made their friendship grow and develop and how much of a storytelling lesson it is (oh the so so deep understanding you need to have of your characters to have them say things so vaguely and still express exactly what they mean). I could also go down the emotional and subjective road and ramble about how much it means to me and how I resonate with it, but I've done that at least 837382 times and I think everyone knows it by now 😭 so!!! Let's get to the real thing

(I'm trying to keep it as analytical and straightforward as possible but please note that this is my favorite scene that's ever existed so neutrality is not really a possibility)

Rocket is a brat. He's restless, he's loud, he's always puffing up his chest and yelling at someone and picking fights with the wind cuz it was blowing in a way he didn't like and he's just an overall bastard. In this scene, though, we see him inside out. His head is low, his shoulders are slumped, he has his tail between his knees and he looks tired. He speaks quietly (curiously like he doesn't want anybody else to hear him), he's not deliberately insulting anyone and he's just..... defeated??

Up until that point I don't think we ever got to see Rocket like that. From what the movies have shown us he'd never had to. But in the past few days that led to this, Rocket had stolen batteries for no apparent reason (which we'll later learn why💀), ruined their ship, got literally kidnapped by Ravagers, blew up a creepy planet-guy-thing and oh my god attended his friend's dad's funeral. At least half of these things were directly or indirectly his fault and he knows it.

I don't think he ever doubted it was (we see it earlier in the movie when the Guardians leave to "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and Rocket scowls and winces like he either stepped in a pile of shit or got hit in the face by regret), but he still argued with Peter even knowing he was in the wrong just to keep up apparences or hold on to a little thread of pride when he was already feeling ashamed for being caught red-handed stealing shit he didn't need AND destroying their ship etc etc, and he just kinda fucked up big time. And I think that's (besides the general exhaustion of parenting a tree and fighting a planet and Yondu's death) is what got him so devastated in that scene.

Ofc Yondu played an extremely important role in that. He was the one to open Rocket's eyes, to give him some sort of reality check and show him the only thing isolation is ever gonna bring him is regret and bitterness (or, in other words, Yondu). Rocket is most of all hopeless and tired and just sad like that because he knows he hurt his friends. He knows he's chasing them away, that he yells at them, that he's always mean and that he steals batteries he doesn't need. He knows he's not awesome to put up with and seeing what happened to Yondu and his former friends probably made him terrified it'd happen to him and the Guardians too. He's stuck in this cycle of pushing them away with everything he can (and we could get into all his trauma regarding betrayal and death and literally endless other things but it's all very clear at this point) and he knows patience doesn't last forever. He's just scared, he feels bad and he's tired.

Now on the other hand we have Quill. He's also destroyed, he lost two fathers (3 if you count what Ego could've been, what he wanted him to be), basically relived his mother's death and had to watch literally every single one of them die. He's also scared and tired, yes, but all he has left is this unstable family of weird idiots who are learning how to show care and he's... pretty much fine with it. He wants it.

And when what Rocket's saying clicks, when he realizes who he's talking about, Quill, who's usually all smirks and teasing and bickering and name-calling, looks at his best friend like this,

because

(From vol 2 script!! Won't even try to comment on that last part before Quill's last line but I also really like that Peter just "shakes his head" over and over like he's just barely listening until he realizes what Rocket really means cuz it also shows a lot about his character. He's naturally a little slow and downright stupid when it comes to this kind of hidden emotional thing and he's also exhausted and depressed from everything that happened and STILL he stops and just. Sees Rocket, and sees Yondu.)

He's not doing well. He's probably sore and hurt and sad and miserable and yet he takes his sweet time to look down at Rocket, let go of his resentment from before and see right through him. In order to understand this scene it's important to remember he most likely doesn't know what Yondu told Rocket at all, he doesn't know anything they said to each other and how Yondu showed him they're mirrors. He doesn't know any of that. He just knows his best friend and his father and how much they resemble each other. He puts up with Rocket's bullshit because he knows how to deal with Yondu.

He could've just ignored him or pretended he didn't know what he was talking about. He could've made Rocket swallow his pride and "teach him a lesson" by making him say what he means without hiding behind metaphors and vague self-deprecation, because Rocket was probably vulnerable and defeated enough to be honest in that moment. And yet, he just looks at his friend, who's usually a loud and mean and restless brat, and is now staring at the floor with his ears droopy and his tail between his knees, and just says, as a form of reassurance and tenderness that's just as subtle and shy as Rocket's insecurities, "Well, of course not."

(The kind and soft and sweet DETERMINATION on his face tho like no!!! No we're not ditching you even though you suck I'm!!! Serious!!!!)

[middleearthpixie]

Better Days ~ Chapter Twenty-Three

Summary: Frerin Durin had the perfect life, until he found out his wife was cheating on him. Now, he’s navigating uncharted territory as an about-to-be divorced single dad. Dating is a mess, he’s dealing with the fallout where his kids are concerned, and really, he would just love a vacation away from all of it. 

Elena Madison is new to Sidleburg, and also navigating life as a newly single parent. The last thing she needed was for her daughter to come down sick, when she hasn’t even had time to unpack the moving boxes, never mind find a pediatrician. And the last thing she ever expected was to meet a man like Dr. Frerin Durin…

Neither Elena nor Frerin were looking for anything, but fate has a way of messing up even the best laid plans. However, both have been hurt and both aren't at all sure they trust themselves, never mind trusting someone else...

Pairings:  Modern!Frerin x ofc Elena Madison

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.7k

Read on AO3

Elena thought she might hear from Frerin sometime the next day, but that didn't happen. She thought about calling him, but talked herself out of it each time. His family wasn't hers. She had no right to barge in on their trauma as if she belonged there. He would call her when he was good and ready and she just had to accept that. 

Which was something she tried really hard to convince herself. Even so, her mood was grayer than it should have been as she waited at Newark Airport for Alyssa to come down the jetway. 

“Mommy!” Alyssa’s voice rang out through the terminal, as loud and boisterous as ever, and she bounded toward Elena to throw her arms around her neck like it had been years since Alyssa had gone.

Elena stepped back, smiling at the sight of her suntanned daughter, who looked far healthier than she had when she left for Florida. “Well, I guess you are definitely feeling better.”

“I am. It’s amazing was a little sunshine and beach will do for you.” Alyssa slung her backpack over her left shoulder. “Now, just keep your fingers crossed that my luggage made its way home as well.”

Thankfully, her large black wheelie (the handle tied with a scarlet satin ribbon for easy identification) had made it home, and so a little more than an hour after Alyssa’s plane had touched down, they were in the car, on their way home, and Alyssa was already complaining about the cold.

When she finished, she said, “Well, at least the snow is pretty. I hate that I missed a snowy Christmas break . We could’ve done something fun, like go skiing.”

“You don’t like to ski, remember? And besides, you had a good time, you got spoiled rotten by your grandparents, and you have a tan. I think that’s a fair trade.”

“Maybe.” Alyssa leaned forward to change the radio station from Classic Rewind to Octane. “So, how is Dr. Hottie? Did you behave while I gone?”

Elena chuckled. “Yes, Mom.” 

“Are you used to the beard yet?”

“Alyssa!” Elena couldn't hold back her laughter.

“What? I’m curious.”

“Don’t you worry about it.” Elena shook her head, checking the side mirror before switching lanes. “But, yes, I’m used to.”

“I knew it. So, are you seeing him tonight, since it’s your last night of freedom?”

“Not tonight.” 

“Let me guess, you two just were inseparable all week. Like, I’ll bet there was a montage of all the things you guys did while I was gone, like in the movies? With like a stupid Herman’s Hermits song playing throughout, like in that old Leslie Nielsen movie you showed me last summer.”

“Not quite.” Elena sighed softly. “But, I don’t know when I will be seeing him.”

“Oh, no. Mom, that sounds so ominous. What happened?”

“Just a family thing.”

“A family thing?”

“Yes, Miss Nosy,” Elena grinned at her, “a family thing.”

“Is he married? Mom, are you fooling around with a married man?”

“He’s not married, technically.”

“Technically?”

Elena could practically hear Alyssa’s raised eyebrow and she chuckled as she nodded. “Yes, technically. He’s in the process of divorcing his wife. So not married, but not unmarried, either.”

“Scandalous.”

“Hardly. Now, tell me about what all you did in Florida…”

****

If the day before a vacation was a long, rough one, that was nothing like the first day back from it. Elena sat back in her chair as her period seven class filed in, all looking the way she felt—about done in. 

“Hey, Ms Madison,” Ashleigh Brenner greeted her as she slipped into her chair at table in front of Elena’s desk.

“Hi, Ashleigh. How was your break?”

“Not nearly long enough.”

“I feel that.” Elena pushed back her chair and stood as the rest of the class filed. “Welcome back, everyone. I know how you’ve missed being here.”

“Damn it,” Lindsey Keller blurted, dropping her Chromebook onto the table next to Ashleigh’s machine, “I forgot my paper, Ms Madison.”

“I expected there would be a few people who might not remember,” Elena told her, “so I’m pushing the deadline to tomorrow.”

With that, she picked up a blue Expo dry erase marker and at the top left side of the white board at the front of the classroom, she wrote the new due date, and as everyone else took their seats, said, “I hope everyone had a restful break. As you can see, I pushed the date back to tomorrow, so make sure you bring in your research papers because any that aren’t turned in tomorrow, I will still accept late, but you will be marked down half a grade for every day.”

“What?” Sadiya Hartwell asked.

“If you hand it in tomorrow, you’ll get starting grade of full credit, which may or may not come down depending how you’ve done on it. But, if you forget tomorrow, and bring it on Thursday, you will start out with a ninety-five and I’ll grade it from there. If you bring it in on Friday, you start with a ninety, and so on and so on.”

There were a few expected grumbles, but that was it, and as she moved toward the center of the whiteboard, she said, “So, we’ve wrapped up our segment on the American Revolution and move into the ratification of the United States Constitution and the election of 1800. Then we will move into the Era of Good Feelings and then Jacksonian politics and how the election of 1824 led to the Second Party System.”

“When are we going to get to the Civil War?”

“Not for a little while yet. Probably by the end of the month, maybe first week of February, Brayden. We will spend a couple of weeks talking about it, and then move through Reconstruction. So, let’s get started. Does anyone know when the United States Constitution was ratified and which state was the first to do so?”

****

“Dr. Durin?”

Frerin turned away from the Keurig, peering over his shoulder. “What is it, Katie?”

“Dr. Reese is looking for you.”

“Did you tell him where I was?”

She winced and nodded. “Yeah. Was I not supposed to?”

“No, it’s fine. Where is he?”

“He said he had to scrub in on a lap-chole at ten, but that he’d be in his office otherwise.”

Frerin glanced down at his watch. “If I milk fixing this coffee I can avoid—”

“Avoiding me, Frerin?”

 “Not at all, Jay.” He forced a smile he didn't really feel to his lips as he lifted his cup from the Keurig’s tray and turned to face Reese. “What did you need me for?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the pedes ER. You have a minute?” Jay Reese smiled at Katie. “Unless I’m interrupting something?”

“I was just leaving,” Katie replied dryly, rolling her eyes as Reese brushed by her to come into the lounge. Normally, Frerin would just use the Keurig in his office, but he’d been called down to the ER for a consult and halfway up realized he’d left his coffee cup in the ER’s doctors’ lounge. That meant he had to scrounge a cup from the lounge near his office and hope that his remained untouched downstairs.

“She’s cute,” Reese remarked as the lounge door swung closed. 

Although he secretly agreed, Frerin rolled his eyes just the same. “She’s too young for you and you’re too married for her.”

“Too married. Is that even a thing?”

“Did you want to talk to me or flirt with my secretary?”

“Christ, you’re touchy today.”

“I’ve been under more stress than usual these days.” Frerin lifted his cup to his lips for a sip. French vanilla. Not his favorite but it was caffeinated and that trumped flavor today. 

“How’s your boy doing?”

“He’s doing well. Naismith is discharging him on Friday and he’ll do a six week outpatient program through Gen-Psych.”

“Yeah? They’re good. They really helped Tiff a few years ago.”

“They did?”

Reese nodded, moving to the cabinet to take down a mug for himself. “Yeah. I didn't broadcast it to the hospital, but she spent time there and at Wakeman. They do good work.”

“I hope so. I don't think I can do another week like this last one.” Frerin sank into one of the mismatched chairs around the table in the middle of the lounge. “This place is almost as much of a dump as the ER lounge.”

“Well, the ER is were the derelicts all end up, so no surprise there.” Reese slid a K-cup into the machine and set his cup on the tray, then pressed brew. “No offense to you, of course.”

“Well, considering you keep sending me there…” Frerin set his cup down. “But, they’re good docs down there. You wouldn’t last a week in the ER and we both know it.”

“I did my time in the trenches.”

“You were never an ER doc.”

“No, but I’ve covered.”

“I hate to break it to you, but one ER shift every ten years does not count.”

Reese chuckled. “I’m glad you feel at home enough to defend those burnouts, considering you’ll be joining them in a few weeks.”

“What?”

Reese joined him at the table, tugging out another chair to sink into. “Yeah. Where else would we put a pediatric ER?”

“Wait… you mean… you’re signing off on it? But I haven’t even sent out a single grant application. I don't even have a list of foundations to hit up.”

“I know, but Danielle somehow found out about the idea and she thinks it’s a good one and fortunately for you, her daddy has really deep pockets. So, go down there, let me know exactly what you need and put in the requisitions and work orders and we’ll get started.”

Frerin smiled. “I knew I liked your wife for a reason.”

Reese chuckled. “And that’s why I’ll never go beyond flirting with your hot secretary. If Daddy Warbucks ever caught me giving it to anyone other than Danielle, I’d be sleeping in my Beemer.”

“You’re too old for Katie anyway and she’s seeing a pro hockey player, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest you’re really not her type anyway.”

Reese chuckled. “She’s also two years younger than my daughter. It would be too creepy outside of my imagination.”

“It’s too creepy within the confines of your imagination as well.” Frerin reached for his coffee. “So, when you think we can get this up and running by?”

“Spring at the latest, if all goes well. The board will approve it, and they’ll approve you being charge of it. Once we get everything signed off, I’ll expect a list of possible employees and if you go outside the hospital, we’ll need to get them vetted.”

“I’ll draw up a list in the next week or two and we what we need downstairs.” 

“Good. And this coffee sucks, by the way.” Reese rose and moved to the door, where he paused. “Hey, did you ever hook up with your gorgeous brunette?”

Frerin couldn't help his grin. “Yeah, I did.”

“Good. I’ll see you.”

“See you later.” 

As the door to the lounge closed, Frerin finished his coffee and sat back as a feeling of triumph washed over him. He had never thought Reese’s wife might be the savior to getting a pediatric ER set up, but now what had been more fantasy than reality was really going to happen and it was the best news he’d had in weeks. 

Without thinking, he picked up his cell phone from where it lay on the table and toggled to contacts, where he scrolled down to Elena. He hesitated for a moment, since he hadn’t talked to her since the night of Jake’s suicide attempt, and while he’d hoped she’d understood, he had no way of knowing for sure. Still, he’d risk it and there was only one way to find out. It was after three now, so she should be finished with her last class.

With that, he tapped on her phone number and tried to ignore how his heart sped up as he waited for her to answer. 

One ring. 

Two. 

“Hi, Frerin.”

He almost groaned at the heat that swept through him at the mere sound of her voice. “Hi, Elena. Are you busy?”

“No. My last class ended about ten minutes ago. What’s up? How’s Jake doing?”

“He’s doing well, actually. His doc thinks he’ll be discharged at the end of the week and then he’ll do a six-week outpatient program at Gen-Psych.”

“That’s wonderful news! Although, I confess, I don’t know what Gen-Psych is, exactly.”

“It’s a program that will involve basically helping him learn to cope with stressors so we hopefully don't find ourselves back at ground zero again. They’ll tutor him so he doesn’t fall behind on schoolwork and if he’s doing well, when it’s over, he’ll be back in school with his friends again.”

“Oh, that would be fantastic,” she replied and he could almost hear the smile in her voice. “You and his mother must be thrilled.”

“I am, but I neither know nor care if she is.”

“Uh-oh… what happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I see you.” He hesitated. “I mean, if you want to see me, since I basically went MIA on you.”

“You didn't go MIA, Frerin. You had a family emergency and your kids—especially Jake at the moment—come before me any time.”

He couldn’t help his smile. “I confess, I thought you might be pissed off at me.”

“I might, if it was anything other than one of your kids. Especially considering these circumstances. I didn't want to butt in, so I figured I’d give you your space and you’d call me when you were ready. It’s all good.”

“I’d like to see you later. Are you free?”

“What’s later?”

“I’m on until seven. I’ll leave here and head over to Wakeman until eight. Could I swing by after?”

“And what about Maura and Flynn?”

“I can drop them at home first.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He chuckled softly. “But that’s not the only reason I’m calling. I just… I got some great news and wanted to share it with somebody and you were the first somebody I thought of, so…”

“I—I was?”

“Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because I am surprised, that’s why.” 

“The Pediatric ER is a go.”

“You got the funding?”

“I got the funding. Seems my chief of staff’s wife loved the idea. And since she comes from a family with more money than they know what to do with, I’m getting my pet project. I’ll need to find a few more hours each day, and hopefully the kids won’t suffer too much as a result, but when all is said and done, Sidleburg Memorial will have a pediatric ER.” 

“That is fantastic, Frerin. And I wouldn’t worry if I was you. I think they’ll understand. Especially when you tell them this has been your passion project.”

“We shall see. I can hold off telling Jake until he’s more settled, but the other two can know now.”

“I’m really happy for you, Frerin. Really. I think it’s wonderful.”

“Thanks, Lena. I’m feeling pretty good, myself.”

The lounge door opened and Katie poked her head in. “Dr. Durin? They need you in the ER again.”

He sat up and nodded, shifting the phone to whisper, “I’ll be right there.” Then, as Katie backed out of the lounge, he said, “I’ve got to go, Lena. They need me in the ER again. Fourth time in the last three hours.”

“It’s the universe telling you that’s where you’re really needed,” she replied with a hint of a laugh.

“Probably. Okay, so I’ll see you later? You sure nine’s not too late?”

“It’s fine, Frerin. Promise.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye, Frerin.”

He clicked off the call and stood, pushing his chair in with his left hip. He swept up his stethoscope (hot pink, thanks to Jerry, the clerk who handled requisitions for the ER) to drape about his neck, then hurried out to the elevator banks to go down to the ER, his spirits higher than they had been in weeks. 

Tag List: @mrsdurin @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo

@xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @sherala007

@enchantzz @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell

@jotink78 @ruthoakenshield @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc

@glassgulls @evanstaredits @heilith @asgardianhobbit98  @albionscastle

@absentmindeduniverse @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms @sazzlep @court-jobi @masterofhounds

@genius2050 

Note: At the end of December, I will be cleaning up my tag list, so if you'd like to continue to be tagged, please let me know. Otherwise, I'll assume you're no longer interested in receiving these notifications and will take you off the list. Thanks!

[bloodlustngore]

Needed Comfort - Emily Prentiss

So, this has been sitting in my drafts for quite a few months not even a few I think its been in drafts since last year, that I just decided fuck it, it's good enough ig, so enjoy ig :)

Originally was supposed to just be fluff, but its me so ofc I had to have some smut in there ;)

Emily get back home from a case, injured and also needing comfort.

CW: 18+ NSFW, Fingering (Emily recieving), but other then that its fluffy!

You had been missing Emily for a few days now, although the older woman had been updating you about the day, you checking in on her and she checking in on you.

It had been quiet today, you both sent each other 'good morning' texts and then that was it. Today was your day off of work, and also university. So it was a boring day, you went out to get a few things to fill up the cupboards and fridge, especially some more coffee. Knowing that both you and Emily consume coffee quite quickly since you live together.

And then the rest of the day was spent lounging around with yours and Emily's adopted cat, son, Sergio. Laying on the sofa and watching a tv show. ~~~~ It got pretty late and you had no clue you dozed off, checking your phone as soon as you woke up hoping Emily had text that she was coming home. But nothing. Which started to worry you.

Then all of a sudden you heard the front door of the apartment unlock. And that revealed your girlfriend, Emily Prentiss. Sergio jumped down from the sofa and ran towards her. You followed behind.

You heard Emily groan as she leaned down, which indicated she was most likely hurt during the case, which always made you worry of course because what she does is dangerous. "Hi Serg" she greets the black cat and pats him. He meows back happily and then runs off into the kitchen.

"Hi baby" Emily greets you as she stands back up. You were right, she was injured. There was a bandage on her arm and she had a slight black eye. "Oh Em, what happened?" You asked, worrying.

Emily chuckles slightly, as your hand rested on her cheek. She placed her hand on top of yours. "I don't want to talk about it right now" she sighs. You weren't going to push the brunette. Talking about some cases was very difficult for her and the team. Wanting to just forget them...but in the end never doing so.

"Of course love. Is there anything I can do?" You asked. Already knowing the answer when Emily pulled you into a hug. You placed a kiss on her cheek and hugged her back just as much. Standing and holding each other for a good minute. Before you pulled away.

"I'll run you a bath and while you're relaxing I'll make us something to eat" you say softly.

"Can you join me in the bath?" Emily asks. "Of course". Walking with your girlfriend to the bathroom. Emily leans back against the wall and you begin to run the bath. As it runs you help your girlfriend undress. Taking her shirt off and as you did so you leaned in and placed a kiss on her chest. Admiring how beautiful your girlfriend is. You put the vanilla bubble bath in, which was Emily's favourite.

Grabbing her hand after you stripped off your clothes. Emily smiles, just admiring you. Practically making you blush. "You're beautiful Y/n" she says softly, biting her lip slightly.

You smile back at your girlfriend, leaning in for a kiss. "Not as beautiful as you Em" you reply. Giving Emily the comfort she needs.

Emily isn't one to be like this, especially not in front of people. The older woman always comes off as very authoritative and in charge, as well as being able to compartmentalise things a lot easier. Which is she, but considering the fact she didn't want to talk about the previous case right now and came home with physical injuries. She just wanted comfort and of course you were here to provide that, just as Emily does for you.

You got in the bath first this time, usually Emily was the one who got in first so she could wash your back, trace her fingers on your back or just hold you. But this time it was your turn. As Emily sat down in the bath, she let out a sigh of relief. Finally being able to relax herself and muscles, but she kept one arm resting on the side as she needed the bandage off. You pulled your girlfriends back flush against your chest, her head laying on your shoulder, looking at you and smiling, Your arm reached over and helped her undo the bandage. Seeing the damage done to her arm.

"Oh Em, why didn't you call me?" You asked the older woman.

"I didn't want to worry you any further. I should've called I know. It's really not too bad now. A couple stitches so I have to be careful" Emily mentions. You placed kisses at the side of her neck, your hands go to her waist under the water. Emily let's put a few relaxed sighs.

"Can you lean forward for me baby? And get the body wash and shampoo" you mentioned. Emily nodded her head as she leaned forward, reaching over the other side of the bath and grabbing the coconut shampoo and vanilla body wash you both use. Although you preferred the strawberry one you have, you liked the vanilla one because that's Emily's go to scent and when she was away on a case you used it just to smell like her. But she was here right now.

"Do you want me to get the strawberry one to?" She asked just in case. "No, don't worry about it Em" you added.

Emily had to sit up again so you could lather the vanilla body wash on her back, while she got the front. You massaged it into her shoulders and when you hit a spot that had quite a bit of tension Emily let out a low moan, as you relieved the tension in her shoulders. You chuckled. "You sound so pretty" you whispered. Emily smirked at that, turning to face you.

"But the pretty noises you make are better" she reminds you, despite her giving up some control, she was in the middle of that zone. "Tonight isn't about me" you reminded her. But still Emily grabbed more body wash and helped you get your back.

Washing Emily's hair was one of your favourite things. Emily wouldn't ever admit it in front of anyone else but she loved it when you played with her hair. As you massaged the shampoo through her brunette hair, letting her relax again. You completely stopped to press light kisses along her neck and shoulder. "Y/n what happened to washing my hair?" She chuckled. But you didn't listen, instead you trailed your hand down her chest, to her stomach and hip bone. Your other hand squeezed her right breast lightly before pinching the nipple between your fingers. Emily relaxed against you again, her head on your shoulder. You leaned your head down slightly to kiss her, Emily's tongue instantly in your mouth. You hand finally stopped at her pussy, teasing her clit lightly. Emily moaned into your mouth a few times.

"What do you want baby?" You asked her. "You Y/n I want you" she replies. She kissed you again, her mouth opening in a silent moan when she felt your fingers teasing her clit again, before you pushed two fingers inside her. "Shit" she breaths out. You could feel her chest rising and falling. Her breath becoming heavier as you move your fingers inside her.

"More please" Emily whimpered. She was giving you all the control now but you knew it wouldn't last long afterwards.

You sped up your actions, your palm hitting her clit every now and then with the pace of your fingers. Feeling her walls contracting around them. This was supposed to be comfort only, but sometimes 'comfort' for you and Emily also meant soft sex (sorta) in the mix somewhere.

"Y/n oh god!" Emily moaned. She could barely kiss you properly anymore, her mouth dropping open. Her hands gripped on the sides of the bathtub. Knuckles turning white.

You kissed the sensitive part behind her ear "are you close, Em" you whispered.

Your pace quickened. "Shit" Emily whimpered, her soft moans echoed through the apartments bathroom. But neither of you could care less if anyone heard. Too in the moment to bother about it.

"Y/n!" The older woman almost screamed your name. You fucked her through her orgasm, slowing down as she came down from her high. Emily's grip on the bathtub softened. She immediately leaned back into you, capturing your lips in a desperate kiss.

"Your turn" Emily smirks as she calms down, "open" you order, Emily complies and opens her mouth. You put your fingers that you used on her in her mouth, allowing the brunette woman to taste herself.

"Just letting you know how good you taste" you whispered. Emily moaned and you pulled your fingers from her mouth. Emily turned to face you, with a smirk.

"No Em, I got everything I needed from you. Let's just finish up, rebandage your arm, order food and go to bed okay?" You mention. Emily pouted.

"Just because my dominant arm and hand is injured doesn't mean I can't make you feel good." Emily winked.

"Emily. You're bruised and also have a slight black eye." You added. Although you probably weren't going to win.

"Baby, just because I'm injured doesn't mean I'm still not in charge." She added, feeling like herself already.

"Now be a good girl for me" Emily adds.

Smirking at your girlfriend "No, you need to be patient" thinking you were so funny, but now you're in for it tonight.

[blushydrangea]

im here to ask u ur thoughts in the... pj controversy ehhekekfke i wanna say smthn abt but like i feel as if i dont grasp the whole thing yet so i chose to shut up rn

hi love! under the cut so the people who are tired of discussing this topic can avoid it.

it's a long one!

i know everyone here has likely come across the tweets pj made, but as an archiver at heart i feel the need to break everything down. screenshots aren't mine.

on the 18th, pj made a tweet about fellow drag queen and artist chappell roan, questioning the authenticity of her love for drag. most people (me included!) thought she was trolling, which unfortunately didn't happen to be the case. plane appeared to be under the impression that chappell was mean or cold towards drag queens she invited to her shows, something she allegedly heard about in boston and, according to some people on reddit so take this with a grain of salt, was debunked. she followed her tweet with another, ironically saying "i love chappell roan". the first tweet was then deleted.

after several people accused plane jane of trying to gatekeep drag from women & having an unfair opinion deeply rooted in misogyny, pj released a notes app screenshot on the 19th. however, going against the purpose of most notes screenshots, hers wasn't an apology. instead, she chose to call out the hypocrisy of people attacking her because they were calling her a man (it's important to note that pj hasn't directly told us what her ood pronouns are afaik).

she made some more shady tweets after that and argued with stans on social media but i don't feel like including these, so the last update we have was this apology pj made for her fandom.

before i speak my mind on this, i just wanna say that i am willing to discuss this as long as people are polite, any aggressive messages i might receive will be promptly deleted.

to be honest, i didn't like what she said. being a person with a platform and, let's be real, several crazy stan accounts who follow her word like gospel, it was wrong in my opinion to call a growing lesbian artist (one of the very few we have, at that) performative for her love of drag. someone who also engages in the *checks notes* performative art of drag. there isn't much of a "bag" to be secured by pretending you love drag, as it's not that mainstream, and i can't help but wonder if pj would have the same criticism were chappell a gay man instead of a lesbian woman.

misogyny is real and it's present in all of us, we were all raised to see women as less than. pj is white and male-presenting with her makeup off, she isn't incapable of misogyny because she is gay or a drag queen. therefore, it rubbed me in the wrong way to see her voice out the same beliefs i've heard from other gay men before – that women deserve to be questioned whenever they exist in drag spaces. i don't agree with the sentiment that pj meant women shouldn't do drag, as she never said that. though she honestly reminded me of those men who ask me very specific and tricky questions about the tree of gondor or whatever when i tell them i love the lord of the rings. are you a true fan?

her notes app statement was what pissed me off. she was really immature imo, ofc she's only 26 so there's room for growth, but twisting a situation you inserted yourself in to seem like the victim based on... people calling you a cis man? come on. it was a self-centered statement made by someone who seemed to refuse to take any criticism on this subject matter. i was very disappointed she chose the "but you are wrong too!" route instead of apologizing to the people she hurt.

her apology to her fandom was... fine, i guess. it served to show me that she seems to be comfortable living in her bubble.

do i think she's a bad person? no, i don't. but i do think she had a misogynistic take and doubled down on it because she refuses to admit she was wrong. i'm staying away from her for the time being, i'll probably get over it eventually but rn i don't wanna see her face all that much. no judgement whatsoever to people who forgave her and are still posting about her, it's your blog, do what you want <3

[spookyrobbins]

i am here to ask about gold digger!penny, go wild, make the answer as in depth and long as you like, i want to hear

okay, so this is one of my fave penny hcs (primarily developed on discord!)

so there's sort of a few ways it can go:

1: penny and callie met essentially organically and penny just sort of finds out callie has a lot of money and starts taking advantage

2: penny did her research on callie beforehand (and ofc there is a fair bit out there on callie because of the buying the hospital thing) and knew callie was wealthy and is just a pure gold digger (personally think this one is more fun as it gives penny a personality, so this is what we're going with)

it starts out fairly innocuous, like callie picks up the check more often and she really doesn't think anything of it, since she a) is older b) has a lot of money and c) it's just the polite thing to do

and penny's very careful not to push it as she doesn't want to tip callie off

and slowly, slowly, penny starts asking for more and more, little things at first, but then slightly bigger things

like one month, she's slightly short on rent and callie doesn't even hesitate to cover it for her and penny makes a big show of paying her back and callie's content with the situation

and callie sort of likes being able to help penny out and spend some money, namely because for years, she was super self-concious about her money, but now she's in a better place and because arizona was adamantly against spending callie's money and it kind of bothered callie that arizona would never let her spoil her

the first one to notice how much penny is trying to take from callie is arizona, bc of course it is, when she notices penny has a new car and she gets suspicious because what resident (other than callie) could afford a brand new car, that's insane. but she can't just go accuse callie's new gf of being a gold digger, that's a mess

so arizona keeps it to herself and just observes penny and callie, and she feels a bit like she's going crazy because how is callie not aware of how penny's using her? arizona knows that callie has had issues with people in the past being weird about her money and how can she not see what's happening

and it's an odd mixture of callie knowing that she's spending more on penny than she ever did on any of her previous relationships and also callie being determined to make this relationship work and there's no way she'd ever get involved with a gold digger, she's too smart for that sort of thing

arizona is sort of just stuck watching penny get more and more greedy and callie's so stubborn about penny that there's no way she'd listen to anyone about penny, particularly arizona

if i want to give arizona an easy out, i'd have her go to carlos with her concerns, but that's too easy so let's throw in there that carlos is sort of generally anti arizona at this point and is supportive of callie moving on with penny

arizona very casually tries to bring it up to callie once and callie kinda loses her shit and it very much has the opposite affect of pushing callie more towards penny and it's a really nasty argument between them where a lot of old wounds get torn open ("why on earth would i think the worst of my gf?" "oh i don't know, because you always thought the worst of me" "and i turned out to be right, didn't i, arizona?")

at that point, callie and arizona basically are no longer speaking except for things about sofia, so no more weirdly happy, supportive exes, just hurt, angry exes who are in a bad place

then comes the grant and the ensuing custody battle and frankly, penny couldn't care less if sofia comes to nyc, just as long as callie does; bc penny's hope is that once they're out of seattle and the general vibes of the hospital and all callie's friends, she'll be able to lock callie down more and be set for life

everything else proceeds as normal and callie and sofia follow penny to new york, because arizona, despite her extreme doubts about penny, can't bring herself to keep sofia away from callie

in nyc pennys really taking advantage at that point. like callie’s paying for everything even though she and penny aren’t living together. but penny’s heavily hinting that they should and she’s asked callie to help her buy a new wardrobe bc nyc is very different from seattle

on some level callie’s aware of these red flags but she’s also stubborn and she really doesn’t want arizona to be right and there’s no way she’d actually get taken in by a gold digger

sofia really starts to become a problem once callie and penny move in and it’s not even that she has an issue with penny. she’s relatively neutral about her etc. but she’s in a new place and new school and she misses arizona and she’s acting out. penny is like one tantrum away from suggesting sofia go to boarding school

callie is completely at her wits end with sofia and penny lives a very different lifestyle from callie’s or even how she was in seattle. she wants to go out to nice restaurants and go on nights out and callie’s just tired

penny who’s started heavily hinting at getting engaged and it majorly freaks callie out. like more than anything else. bc she really never thought about getting married again. like after george she thought she’d get married again bc it’s not like she and george should’ve gotten married in the first place but arizona was different. and she just never thought she’d get married about or even want to. and she doesn’t necessarily want to get married

penny gets increasingly frustrated and callie’s slowly becoming very aware of pennys very expensive habits. and fairly abruptly one day callie just pulls back from penny maybe after sofias gone back to seattle

and things devolve quickly from there as callie puts the breaks on and penny gets frustrated

i could even see callie fleeing back to seattle for a weekend with the excuse of seeing sofia but really she wants to talk to arizona even though there’s not a chance in hell she’d admit arizona was right about penny

honestly what would be seriously funny is callie who basically just ghosts penny. like up and moves back to seattle without telling her bc she doesn’t know how to broach any of this

but also arizona kinda getting to have an “i told you so” moment when callie finally admits that she thinks penny’s a gold digger but trying to be mature and not a total asshole about it and slightly failing

[ygodmyy20]

We have made it. To the end of the Mob Psycho 100 rewatch.

I don't have a lot of posts but you can check out #mp100 rewatch tag for all my other rambles about this rewatch.

Here we go it’s time to make my final post of this rewatch.

Granted I didn’t even get up my alien arc one cuz we watched them so fast.

So yeah.

In the Moving episode, my fiancé was getting so nervous because he was having, like, a visceral response to Shigeo confessing. He thought we were heading into second hand embarrassment land. He basically was this gif of reigen like squirming, hands over eyes, like be thought we were heading into “oh no shigeo totally embarrasses himself in front of a girl”

……..

Annnnnd then we hit the end of the episode…..

and he looked at me like this

I don't think I have ever seen this man look at me with such confusion and “what the fuck” emotions. It looked like I sucked the soul out of him.

Do I feel a little bad for making him go in blind?

..........no hahaha

So uh the break between Moving and Rival was like. Him just sitting on the couch staring at the TV not sure what just happened.

BUT WE GOTTA MOVE ON SO HERE WE GOOOOOO and we get to Rival and I am just over here clutching a pillow because ugh the Teru and Shigeo fight still HURTS ME A FUCK LOT

My fiancé was so tense through the whole thing and when we got to this yank out my feels of the whole end of their fight.

He was def feeling the feels train with me. Every time shigeo reacted to Teru I heard him take a sharp breath. This whole scene I could tell it was effecting him

(mehaps he will finally understand why TeruMob has grabbed me and not let go....mehaps)

Moving onto Trauma. Man, that was tough to watch but I also love it because seeing ritsu accept his brother for who he is makes me all sorts of happy.

This scene always hits me so hard. Ritsu thinking through all the parts he loves about his brother, their childhood, the effect the trauma has not only had on him but Shigeo as well. I am exploring this a lot in my ageswap fic, how the trauma between them set them back so much. How it took Ritsu breaking cycles to make a change. Damn.

And then ofc the end. I was waiting for the moment 99 kicked on, a song my fiancé sings a bunch around the apartment. Watching his face when that happened is probably going into the top moments in my brain, I was so delighted. I know some people didn't like that in the finale but honestly it gives me goosebumps I love it.

Getting to the end was bittersweet. A show that means the world to me I was able to finally share with a person who means the world to me. And after, we talked about all sorts of things.

My fiancé shares a lot of similarities with Shigeo and Teru and Ritsu (and honestly a lot of the other espers in general) He was defined by his talent (music) from a very young age. He was seen as a musician first and a human second. Most people only ever saw His instrument. It became the first thing people knew about him. He was a “gifted child”, so his whole life he’s been told he is special, but the only special thing about him is his talent. His….powers you could say.

So if he ever lost that talent, which he did at one point in his life, what does that make him as a person? I didn't expect it but Teru's fight with Mob at the start of the show hit him super hard because he said he identified with Teru. His talent was all he had so he was proud of it, a bit arrogant, until an injury knocked him down to a very very low floor. Because that's what you do when the whole world tells you this is the only part of you that matters (fuck writing that makes me cry ya'll see why Teru hit me in the feels now???? fuuuck)

I love my fiancés music, how can I not? In the end, it is a part of who he is. But it does not define him. His instrument does not come before him. It is not the reason I love him nor the reason I am marrying him.

He is more than his talent, but his talent is also apart of him. He is just him. He is the protagonist of his own life.

And based on everything we talked about afterwards, I like to hope that message landed.

Thank you mob psycho. Maybe you’ll be just what he needs as well.

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep 2 rewatch thoughts

This is such a long post bc I included screenshots oops

I forgot to mention it last time but the opening is so catchy!! I also didn't know BossNoeul sang it until I'd already seen the whole show but that knowledge makes it even better :)

Since we're at the second episode, ofc they start us off with a lil recap. I'm happy to see P'Aon again, yay! Also I like the fun background music. Rain is giving inquisitive puppy vibes in this scene and I'm here for it <3 And then P'Aon mentions Phayu and he instantly turns into disgruntled kitten AHHH what a cutie

VERSUS

Also "how do I know your boss didn't do anything weird to my car" oh sweetheart, he already DID something weird to your car, it's all good now

Once again we get puppy!Rain vs. meow!Rain in the next scene (I'm serious, how tf does Noeul fit all this cuteness inside?)

VERSUS

P'Aon looking at Rain's number like it's the Holy Grail PLSSSS

Yassss Rain call your man out!! What have we got so far? Asshole, bastard, unprofessional, pervert - our boy sure has a range of vocab

Loving that weatherperson foreshadowing that Rain's future is about to have some storm-wrought turbulence - I think it's so funny when a character is like "I never wanna hear/see/think/experience X person again" and then one narrative later they take back those words real quick

I'm also a huge fan of the brothers' dynamic! P'Saifah is always down to call his brother a massive simp to his face, but can you blame him when Phayu literally has this besotted look on?

Ok but what happens next is really short but I think quite interesting. Saifah asks Phayu how long he's been single, and there's a long pause where the camera cuts to this look (see below) on Phayu's face. It kind of looks like he's been single for a while, and not exactly by choice - I get the impression he's been hurt in the past or he hasn't found what he's looking for. BUT then it's immediately followed up with Saifah checking in and Phayu saying "I'll tell you when something happens" with a rather gleeful look. He's already expecting Rain to meet his standards and not run away from him!!! I love how happy Saifah looks for his bro too

And then we get Rain channeling some meerkat energy (I know I've said this a thousand times but URGH WHAT A CUTIE). Also Sky's BS-meter firing so high and Rain's voice jumping like 5 octaves has me cackling every time

Actually, this whole section is quite funny - Rain skipping into the middle of the crowd and then immediately getting ready to run when he sees Phayu, and also there's something yellow+blue color-related going on here but idk what it is (it's cool tho!)

Here are the live reactions to Rain grabbing Phayu's arm to drag him away:

Phayu: mission accomplished 😎

Sky: prayin for ya bff 😇

Ple: I want that to be me 😒

Me + the rest of the students: hmmmm 🌈???????

Ok Rain really has a colorful vocabulary and Phayu is apparently is NOT here for it. Also are Phayu's lips magnets to you Rain? You did not have to stick your lips out like that when you're just tryna have a conversation about manners

I also find it very interesting that Rain is the one to pull Phayu along, first into the bathroom and then into the actual stall. On one hand I know he just doesn't want to be found out by other people but I do think it's rather telling that Phayu who is clearly much larger than Rain allows himself to be manhandled so easily.

First lip touch alert!!!

I'm talking about things I only know marginally about here but idk what else to call it so... I've never heard of a person dropping into subspace so friggin fast I mean all Phayu did was breathe on his neck for 0.2 seconds and Rain's goneeee. I was absolutely unprepared the first time I watched this, and even now on my nth rewatch I'm still feeling some type of way

I didn't notice this until someone pointed it out but Phayu does take a second to pull back and check in (peep the surprised eyebrow raise - clearly he didn't expect Rain to be so into it after like 2 seconds, but he's certainly not complaining)

I also didn't notice this before but Rain actually moans here. Very understandable. Also Phayu telling Rain he did a good job? Praise kink activated (Phayu really just awakened things in Rain one after another lmao)

Another entry into the Rain death-grips Phayu library

I'm actually a bit surprised Rain got yanked out of his headspace so fast - no wonder he collapses by the sink. It's good that Phayu verbally communicates with him right after instead of just leaving. Also interesting choice of words here... there def is something hard involved

I am a SUCKER for headpats. Give them all to meeeee

I can't tell if it's just a translation thing, but when Rain curses Phayu when Phayu is leaving, he doesn't immediately use any cuss words. Look at Rain being a good boy even when he's angry <3 Phayu looks SO satisfied lmao

WAIT SOMEHOW THIS FLEW RIGHT BY MY RADAR UNTIL NOW

Fruity siblings alert! Also Sky coming in clutch here. I don't really get why Ple is so insulted tho, she met Phayu for all of one min (tbf I'd probs react that way if I got to experience Phayu's presence irl though)

Cut to Red Blue boys racing heck yeahhhhhh let's go!!!

It's criminal we didn't get to see Rain fawn over Phayu in this racing outfit. He'd come undone like the rest of us

Also Prapai has a really nice smile! another cutie!!

Ok who is doing perimeter security for these races? Two boys with two shared braincells practically wandered right into the crowd with no trouble - I think if Rain hadn't looked so clueless he could've blended right in

I think the camerawork in these street racing scenes is interesting - I can't quite put my finger on it but it feels like there's something different about the technique or lens bc it looks different than other scenes

I feel like this is a good time to tell y'all I love the Fast and the Furious franchise so I'm right at home here

How strong is Phayu? Rain was actually going pretty fast but Phayu didn't even flinch when he barreled into Phayu's chest. Brick wall I tell you

They did the yellow blue thing again!

This must have been HILARIOUS to film like imagine going into work one day and your boss is like ok now spank your coworker and we're gonna record you

So the first couple of times I watched this I thought that Phayu was being unnecessarily harsh to Rain, but I think now I understand that it was to impart the gravity of the situation. Phayu really just wanted Rain to be safe and also his "grow up" comment comes into play later during the convo after Rain misses a deadline

Rain's death-grip on Phayu Counter: 3

I cannot believe this boy just BIT him so hard Phayu's lips bled. Phayu was so into it though lmao - did y'all hear his voice become so soft after the third kiss?

The line above is so funny to me like sir, the only kind of man you are is a capital F Fool-In-Love

Some more yellow-blue for us

Also he calls him P'Phayu here... what a good boy!

We love chef!Phayu in this house!

I love that Phayu has such confidence in Rain's abilities right from the start - this kind of encouragement is so healthy (in the screenshot below, Rain has just said that he wants to create designs like Phayu)

ALL MEN DO IS LIE (exhibit A see below)

PLSSS HE WAS ALMOST SELF-AWARE my dumb lil son

YASSSS YOU GOT YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER PHAYU

And that brings us to the end of episode 2! I'm having so much fun with this <3 Hope anyone reading this has a lovely day or night!!

[starheart-blog]

Ruby Wild Heart The Mouse x Mamba aka @mambamorana persona.

@mambamorana sorry if this is too long...😓

_________________________________________

One night, Ruby Decide to go to Toon Forests.

Ruby didn't know why but something call for her in toon Forests so she Decide to go..

So she came to The Toon Forests...and fall that something was wrong...so...being the Fearless mouse that she is...Decide to find out what was wrong and what had call her...

But She knew that Mamba would not like her being in Toon Forests and that wild toons also live in toon Forests too...so she was also Fearless and careful...

As ruby was Slowly walk toon Forests...she heard a Sound...and the Sound just like...Mamba!? Shit!! Ruby know that she would be hurt or run out of toon Forests...but they did somewhat got Along but something was wrong...

Ruby know that something ws very much wrong...so she check out and found Mamba on the ground...and she looked hurt!?

Ruby didn't believe that at first like...how did Mamba got hurt? And how did someome hurt Her?...

Mamba seem like she was not able to speak...which was a Other shock for Ruby to see and understand...ruby by this Point had slowly walk to Mamba to only see scars?? How...

Ruby shock her head and slowly ask: "Mamba?..." mamba head cane up as Fast as she was Able to and started to hiss at Ruby...

Ruby was in shock but that was Mamba part of her animal personality but still...ruby calmed down a bit and again: "u-um...hey hey Mamba-"

Mamba Jump on Ruby and Ruby let out a Yell of shock, ruby Speak in Fear: "Whao whao calm down!! Mamba it just me!" She yell and She saw Mamba Face...Mamba was hisss and her eyes were not Normal...

Ruby was Getting Worried...then out of no where Mamba let Ruby go? Did Mamba know that was ruby now??

Ruby was shock...but she saw Mamba Neck...she neck had a big Scar...ruby Questioning everything that is going on...but...ruby had to help Mamba somehow...Mamba walk away from Ruby but later fell down to the Ground...mamba show pain by her tail move fast...which ruby understand as "hurts very much!" Ruby Breathe in and out before Decide to get up...she let out a big sigh and walk slowly to Mamba very slowly so not to scare or hurt her...

Mamba move her head up and saw ruby slowly walk close and hiss at her...ruby understand and stop...but she had to ask...

"Mamba?" Ruby ask, "what...what happen to you?..." ruby ask again...Mamba looked at Ruby...oh right..she was not Able to speak...Ruby Realize that and sigh...

Mamba Looked at Ruby with the Very Eyes that she still had...ruby sigh but she Decide to do something...ruby put her head up to Mamba...and Mamba ofc hiss...ruby turn her face away from Mamba but her hand stay in it Place...

Mamba by time...slowly came closer and Smell Ruby Hand Slowly...then Mamba eyes turn back to Normal...and she put her head to Ruby Hand...ruby had fell that was in shock but stayed in her Place....

Then Mamba move away from Ruby hand and Ruby slowly open her eyes and Turn to Face Mamba.

Ruby Realize that Mamba eyes were Back to Normal, Mamba looked at ruby and Ruby looked back at Mamba.

"Um...Mamba?..." ruby ask now a bit somewhat calm and worry...Mamba looked at her.

"Um..so..you want to me show what happento you..?"

Mamba was very Quiet...her eyes look away from ruby for a bit to the fallen Tree...ruby look where Mamba was looking at and Saw Craw Marks on it...and some blood too...

That is then Ruby Realize...something did Fight and Hurt Mamba...but...how..and was whatever it wss from Toon Forests? Or from the other Universe?...

"So...a being..or a Monster was fighting you and it ended up hurting you...is that how you are hurt...?" Ruby ask with Worry...maybe she would tell this to KittyCat and Luna later...

Mamba in her way nod yes... "oh...that makes Sense now...but..fo you want me to help you?" Ask ruby "I have some stuff that can help heal you...I you want me too ofc." She said tl Mamba and Mamba was not sure so...ruby let Mamba have her thoughts and time.

After while..Mamba slowly nod yes...slowly tho...ruby nod and Said: "I try to be careful and kind to your scar..." Mamba sit down and Ruby check and that the scar was somewhat deep... "um...Mamba?...your neck Scar seem to somewhat deep...who or whatever it really want to kill you..."

Mamba made somewhat of a sound...ruby understand that as "yeah...and hurry up please" ruby nod and slowly started to help Mamba out and fix the scar on her neck...

After while...ruby was able to help and Take Care of Mamba Scar...

"There I hope this is Enough for the Scar to heal...now you just need to let it heal by itself.." ruby said to Mamba.

Mamba looked at Ruby and slowly nod her head.

Ruby let out a sigh and smile.

"Be careful who you pick a fight with next time ok?" Ruby said with a sigh...

"I don't you to get more hurt or in any pain..." ruby said again with a other sigh...

Then ruby Realized that she should be home right now! But she can not just say goodbye and walk like this...so...ruby then said "um..Mamba.?" Mamba looked at ruby.

"I am sorry but I just remember I should be back at home...back at ToonTown..." she said to Mamba and ruby Explained to Mamba that she has to go back to ToonTown and that she has to go home now but she is at least saying goodbye now...

Mamba had Listen to ruby shock and slowly nod her head again so Ruby gives Mamba some food and said her goodbyes to her and got back home...

Ruby pets animals aka her animals friends came to see her and Ruby smile at them and give them food, as Ruby did her change her clothes and came to bed...

she just...didn't stop thinking about Mamba...ruby hope that Mamba would be Able to be herself again after while...and Ruby know that...

she may have something for The big She-cat...ruby brushed at that and Decide to fall asleep as ruby was going to asleep...her last Thought was "I hope you be ok Mamba..."

The end

_________________________________________

@mambamorana again...so sorry this is so long 😢...and sorry if this is bad...i tired...😢

[seattledaytwo]

same anon here <3 and i'm gonna rUMBLE LIKE A LOT

okay so-- I CANNOT WITH FWB AU ESPECIALLY WITH CASUAL.

i'm literally gonna burst in tears if I see this. (wink)

twilight! au is something I didn't expect. but if you don't mind sharing, then who you think should be a vampire? I mean ofc it depends on the plot and whatever, just want to hear your perspective.

personal thoughts: alex is a good choice to be a vampire, because she already has powers (and a good charisma check) and for the funsies she wouldn't have any troubles with disguise, because she already is pale (silly). and I can imagine her being like Alice from twilight to be this mysterious but friendly girl

i can imagine steph being a vampire, but just like the idea of her still being a simple mortal more. plus, it's just kinda funny, because she falls for a vampire being like a complete fantasy nerd. so she has many stereotypes, but tries to be respectful about.

like i can see her being scared and protective of herself at first when she finds out. maybe if alex empathy is still there, steph may suspect alex in using her powers on her (because vampires are predators and I think she wouldn't be so accepting of empathy in this case).

but then, when they worked things out (or if), steph is just "so... uh. is this the part where you pin me to the wall and suck blood from my neck in a very sexual way? "

"the fuck steph." and then alex just shows her bloody steaks or hospital blood packs, whatever.

(steph is disappointed)

I am indeed an Alex vampire truther!! I just think she’d make a great one 😏 her angsty ass (I love her)

(Okay so this is so out of my comfort zone that I will probably never ACTUALLY do anything but fuck is it fun to think about)

So Alex is fairly recently turned (I'd say in the last year or two), just meandering Portland trying to get her life together when Gabe reaches out. She's torn bc she knows they can't stay together, he'll eventually figure it out, but at least they can have a few good years together.

But then he dies. And fuck, what is she supposed to do now? She has to find out what happened to him, but she has to be careful. She still has her canon personality, one bc she's naturally kind and friendly, but also bc she HAS to come off as normal or she'll have to make a quick getaway before she can solve the mystery of Gabe's death.

You know that scene in Twilight where Edward says "I can read every mind in this room except yours?" Picture that but with empathy. Alex can feel every single emotion...except Steph's. At first she's put off, a little irritated that this girl that supposedly loved her brother doesn't seem to give a shit about his death.

But then the foosball scene, and Alex realizes shit, she's feeling things, I just can't read them. She has to use her own intuition to make Steph feel better (and she naturally has extra intuition from being a vamp, even without her power)

And that's the moment Steph realizes "Man, something isn't right about Gabe's sister. I want her so bad."

Jokes about Alex being a vampire, and Alex is so startled she has an external reaction that gives her away. Steph is terrified.

But also...😏

Then it just becomes a cat-and-mouse game where Alex is catching feelings but trying to be as careful as possible - she'd rather die than hurt Steph. Meanwhile, Steph: "you can suck my blood. If you want to. That would be so awesome if you did, you know. You have my permission. It's fine. You can do that. Please do that?"

THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT, a very half-baked idea but MAN am I sucker for gay vampires 🥺

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay finally a proper liveblog of Shadybug and Claw Noire!

Gabriel's VA is having so much fun in that intro

How'd they get video from the other dimension? Is that explained?

FUCKING BETTERFLY I refuse to call him that we're calling him Hesperia. Anyway buddy boy everything is crumbling you don't have time for the speech!! You already know she's doing this shit just say yes!!

Well someone went whole hog on the intro sequence

NATHALIE SENDING GABE RIGHT TO VOICEMAIL

Also I forgot this is right after Destruction no one is getting any fuckin sleep

Mari and Alya are real gay here

TIKKI STEALING MACAROONS

Hesperia asking Mari not to panic after all that has big "B̷̬͇̬̏́̿̚Ȩ̸̬͇̠̓̏͐ ̵̛̝̠̖̤̱͎̻̱͗̉͊́̾̂̔̓̐̃̆̾̽͘N̸̝̠͓͍̺͔͉̮̰̈́̈́̍̒̒̊͐̒̈́̃͜Ǫ̶̧̡͓̥̤̪̤͛T̵͈̳̝̾̀͒ͅ ̴̺̾̈́̾͂̋̇̒̆À̴̢͔͖̯̺̜͇͎͎̬̻̖̲̏̒́͘͜͠F̴̧̧̘͇̈́̏̔̀͜Ŕ̶̨̟͎͕͓̤̟̤̺͓͚̺̰͒̊̌̅̂̈́͝Ḁ̶͙̈́͝Ĩ̵̢̘̩͉̳̯̼D̴̡͉͇̳̮͎̜͐̐́̍̎̉͝" energy.

rest in fucking pieces Markov!

Claw explodes a wall and Sabine just calmly goes to check like?? I'd be sprinting up there???

I was really hoping Shady would say 'Lucky Harm'. I would've also screamed and lit something on fire, but it would've been funny

so. not only can SB make binoculers that track butterfly pheramones. But Hesperia /gives off butterfly pheromones???/ I guess the fandom making everyone more animalistic was right? We won but at what cost?

Also SB and Claw's banter kills me I love the rivalmance

Okay this is a personal thing but I hate this because if it were a more appropriate couple, Hesperia being so soft and carrying Marinette away would be adorable shipping fodder but it's Hesperia and Marinette so I'm like sir step like three feet away

Once again, rip the Eiffel Tower.

I know it's said that Gabriel stole the Miraculous, but does he say it later or are we taking SB's word for it? Because that could be a lie from that 'the supreme' guy.

Tikki. Everything you just said about parallel universes went over my head and this is coming from someone who loves Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle.

Also fuck this existing with Bunnyx's One True Timeline thing

Okay so I 100% called why the Timers are in place. But why does 'being used for evil' override the security system???

... I'm yoinking Claw's nunchucks.

Okay that's the context for Claw doing that. So uh. Buddy boy needs a fuckin therapist NOW

Ladybug: "I'll explain everything to you later." Me: "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?!"

Why.... why did time freeze when making Celestial Cat? It's not a thing that happened any time befre??

THE ONE LINERS. CLAW NOT CATCHING SHADY. I LOVE THEM

Also LB should be having Chat Blanc flashbacks right now

DID SHADY JUST CALL CLAW A DOUCHEBAG??? I SWEAR TO FUCK THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID????

First mention of 'The Supreme'. Saying he'll spare whichever gets the Butterfly. But also like. Ya don't have to be so happy about it.

So like. /is/ the other world some evil hellscape where only a few are good? Or is it just that SB was bullied and Claw lost his mom and The Supreme is manipulating them? Because Hesperia is going on about shit being awful, but if there's more changes then just the slightly altered path, that kinda ruins the idea that they're all just a touch different. But if that world's so fucked how'd they turn out good?

I love how Mari's beartrap diary comes back just to get easily broken into because no one would care about minor property damage if they're breaking into her house to read her diary.

Hesperia: "Claw Noir knows nothing about friendship" Me: "GEE I WONDER WHY"

ofc Alya leaves before seeing who Claw Noir is.

.... Hearing that Andre is on the 'never too late to do good' show or whatever is hurting me knowing the abuse abandonment and kidnapping he takes part in during season 5.

GOD EMODRIEN AND EMONETTE JUST FUCKIN but also their lovesquare is great.

We see a glimpse into the other world in a flashback and things seem? Fine?? ???

So SB and Claw didn't know about the Wish that could give them what they want, but joined The Supreme because......?

"MOM GET OFF MY BACK!!!" Peak middle school emo phase.

Okay but question of how bad things /actually/ are aside, the acting in this? It hurts hearing her cry and all and just want to have the life with friends.

Monarch has finally shown up and he's also having fun but also SB, Claw? This would be the time for regular knives!

Okay but why are they trusting Monarch so easily? You'd think they'd have some trust issues with people offering to make their dreams come true

Giant Shady and Claw. If they're not Akumas, I'm assuming Illusions. Why doesn't Mari think of that?

Alya is the MVP tho!

Mari honey your plans are ALWAYS convoluted it's your thing.

Stilll a little bullshit on why they didn't do the identity reveal but... I mean they gotta ya know?

GOD Monarch's stained glass butterfly lapel is the only thing about his design that absolutely FUCKS

THE BAD ACTING OMG

Oh hey Multiplication makes Gabe a normal height instead of fucking 220cm/7'2"!!!!!!!

Here's how Maribug and Adrichat(the ships) can still win!

Chat without an ear looks cursed

So the Guardian Angel thing saves them, but why didn't Monarch try to Venom them a second time?

Still hate how Shady pins all the bad things in her life on Chloé even though either 1.) all the pain is from The Supreme making everything a hellscape and filled with assholes, or 2.) everything was the same up until Origins where she had friends and loving parents and all.

Okay other than the :/ on the Chloé bashing and the question of what's going on in their world/why things are Like This, the scene is fucking fantastic. No commentary. For as much as I dunk on ML, when it's good it's REALLY GOOD

Okay only one note: Mari has way to much faith her speech will work. Like girl at least dodge.

I do think it's a little weird that Claw stopped though. Like, he and Shady already signed up for murder. He's probably killed someone's mother before. Why would he care about the Wish doing it for him?

Also like. Monarch wasn't watching this shit? Really?

They still have the dunking on each other dynamic.

So. The Rooster can do interdimensional travel. Because sure that doesn't break it's bullshit rules I guess. Why doesn't Monarch do this later when no one's paying attention?

HATSUNE MIKU????

Scarabella and Kitty Noire universe! I'm just gonna assume they're the lovesquare in that one.

anime universe lmao

The comic one is a copout

Wait. The implication with the Mr. Bug and Lady Noire one is that it's still the original LB and CN just swapped. How did. How did they swap in 10 seconds without revealing their identities???

Mari's final speech once again implies that everything was the same until Origins.

Also the Alyanette is STRONG today

Get these girlss a fuckin NAP

Okay overall thoughts:

While I do think it has it's flaws, some of which piss me off a lot. This was mostly a very fucking good special holy fuck.

[variousqueerthings]

we did watch end of time last night, and I didn't cry, but also it feels like I ought to, but maybe it's that the story isn't technically finished because there's a coda coming up. but also I feel sad anyway

but just to think about the original epilogue that is the five specials, interesting to think about. I do think that "the next doctor" is the messiest of the bunch, but that's par for the course for christmas specials (and still by far not as messy as some later christmas specials...) however, let's be real, I'm here for the character insights, and this episode eases us into the idea that this doctor will not be with us long, mentions a bit about being alone, and then the doctor has a last christmas dinner, after avoiding it since rose

planet of the dead is an alright episode -- fun general plot, am into the creatures it introduces, and I mentioned before that whatever is happening between christina and the doctor is like an anti-romance (and... not by design, I assume, but it fits in with all of my headcanons, so I'm not complaining here). the main thing here, other than cryptic prophecies, is that the doctor has an offer for a new companion here. and he says "no, because I have a bunch of survivor's guilt, PTSD, and depression, and I wish women would stop suddenly kissing me out of the blue, seriously beginning to freak me out, sure hope that doesn't happen in my next regeneration..." (well, okay, he thinks those things)

mainly those two episodes though, give us a bit of good stuff. people clap and tell the doctor what a good job he's doing, you're like "ok maybe he could keep going like this for awhile and things might get bette-"

and then waters of mars, beloved carrier of The Themes, rtd like, "well you've got two slightly silly episodes to start us off, and we've got a double episode that's very rtd-vibes to finish us off, so lets have a middle episode that is so horrifying on several levels, to really balance us off, yes good." (and it is so fucking good). rtd in the behind-the-scenes talked about how they originally had a whole thing about how yuri and mia being a couple, well were they going to have children, and how would that affect the development of humanity if they were meant to be dead and like... yeah. adelaide knew what was up, but they didn't (maybe they suspected -- what's it like, I wonder, knowing you were really really meant to be dead, and you're living a life that is at odds with time itself...) but we don't have time to get into aaaall of that, the important thing is that the doctor is briefly mad with grief and tries it out against heavyweight (checks notes) The Concept Of Time, and sort of loses and is told it's time to die and responds to it by going-

lol nope. at the beginning of the end of time, the doctor avoids dying by doing a last spot of travelling, and acting like he's having a mental health breakdown and that's fine. and then has to rush to face his death, which as it turns out is (not so shockingly) connected to the master, our favourite weirdo, and they do their whole homoerotic thing where the master hurts the doctor in various ways and ties him up and threatens to kill him and destroys humanity (again), par for the course, except for bringing back the timelords + ofc there's a whooole bit where the doctor's PTSD depression comes to the forefront and he admits that he's terrified of regenerating, but also everything sucks and david tennant is a terrific actor and it's fascinating that rtd brought back doctor who in the way that he did, with a relearning of the wonders of the universe, only to rip it all away again

so you know. get fucked ten, but also it makes sense, there's an Arc, there's Cause and Effect, there's mountains of Sadness. POV you're learning about tragic narrative arcs in the whimsical time travel show after having tuned in for 5ish years since you were 10 (kidding, I watched the animated animal farm when I was five and it made me very curious about why it made me feel so bad and then we chased that concept ever since)

I genuinely cannot remember how I emotionally left things with ten back when there was no proposed special episodes going to happen, but I think if there's any doctor that needs a bit of catharsis, it's that one. and hopefully that'll come with a sense of everything that came next to change the doctor's view on Life this time around. or youknow. more pain. maybe a bit of both

in any case, thank you to the first rtd era, it changed my brain chemistry forever and introduced me to the whimsical time travel show and everything was fine

[minalblood]

I figured if Meg, Drake and Nida are streaming an episode,ni may as well be in line and continue my rewatch so here we gooo, ep 5!

Akridaaa here yaay! I love those fuckers! And a lot about the Akrida this episode since we're finally getting to seeing them full on.

God, Dean speaking about pain and letting it out so it doesn't fuck you up hurts. And of course it's highly relevant to this ep, Mary of course once more being the Dean mirror.

Ok lets begin, cuz I've thoughts. We'll do this one chronological aka as the ep goes.

1stly this is the episode when I literally went "oh there you were, u fucker" cuz this episode is the one when John acts most like the version we're used to from spn. Interesting thing, when John's talking to Millie at the beginning of the episode and she asks him.how he is but in a way that he can easily let rest there and he is so in his head about what happened last ep that he preemptively reassure her he isn't affected by the Vietnam trauma which ofc means it is at the front of his mind. Also about that scene, Millie saying she wanted to take a pry bar to the motorcycle heavily echoes Dean taking a crowbar to Baby after John's death. I have many thoughts about Millie saying Mary is good for John like Betty was. Like what does she mean? Why does John need someone to keep him in check tho, because thats the implication there for me, we'll circle back to this cuz my opinion kind changes as the ep goes on.

Ada off the bat is the focus here.She ignored Carlos' mention about the demon after the last time when she was almost sadistically plucking leaves off. She wasn't really listening to the case detail as Mary was listing them. She didn't even really get involved in the discussion except to say they need to work this case and oooof it hurts to see because we ofc now know why shes acting as distracted and worried as she is.

Lata took Ada knowing her djinn lore as a ... birds of a feather thing aka Ada being interesting in the lore as she herself is and is so pleased about it. I wonder what she thought about it after finding out about Tony and Ali.

God Tony's entrence is pretty fucking great tho, jeesus. I also love that we start it off on the usual set up for monsters that spn perfected aka the monster of the week doesnt show their face til late in the episode cuz theyre the threat, the danger, the thing we're not supposed to relate to or get close to whereas the victim and the brothers (in spn) are introduced to us with full shot of their face because we're meant to care about them, to associate them immediately with a person and be invested in them, be close to them. So Tony being shot as just his legs as he runs until the moment he sees Ada is absolutely gorgeous to me. It goes from this distant, dangerous thing to someone important to one of our main charaters in the span of seconds. In seconds he becomes someone we're emotionally invested in (even if just curiosity about why Ada has her reaction) only to then really hit home once she says who he is, her son.

I also love that Lata's question about Ada being a djinn is said completely without judgement, just Lata trying to recontextualize what she know about Ada to herself, including the earlier knowledge about djinn lore. And this non judgemental attitude is relfected by Carlos and Mary as well. They're curious, confused, shocked, but not hostile to Ada. They just want to understand. But John is a dif creature here. From the moment Ada memtions who Tony is, John is pissed. He's absolutely furious throughout Ada's story, completely cruel in his reaction and absolutely oblivious about how he comes across for all of it, or willfully ignorant if I'm not feeling charitable. And this after he was a dick to Mary earlier about the motorcycle, but that by contrasr was just a foot in mouth thing That, while yes, dickish, wasnt harmful ultimately. And in both he had no clue how he came across. In the 1st scene, Mary let him know, in the second, because it was so striking that Mary Carlos and Lata chose instead to remove him from Ada's presence as quickly as possible without any chastisement because they knew Ada safety was more important than John being made aware of his behaviour (be it even just the emotional side here, since I don't think they would ever think hed do anything really). And it's this scene that makes it clear beyond any reasonable doubt to me, thay yea, this is def John Winchester and he is just a few degrees off of spn!john and could easily become him.

But the other interesting part here is that it's him having this reaction, the newbie here, the one who's joined this fight without any personal stake really. Like Henry doesn't count since the trauma of losing Henry is an old one that is wrapped more in Henry's abandonment than the actual supernatural world, whereas everybody else has lost people they loved as a direct result of monsters. But they're still empathetic to Ada and understand her choice so much easier than John who just doesn't get it or even try. Because he's already written monsters off as the Enemy thus the evil to his good.Like I said about the previous episode, John views it all in stark Black and White colors.

And now we have the Millie/Ada/John/Dean parallel. Aka the parent afraid of/for their child to the point they end up hurting them. Now importantly, Millie is parallel more clearly with John as parent here, specifically his controlling behaviour towards his kids, Dean most of all Id say and using that fear/worry as an excuse for his shitty behaviour. While Ada is both Dean and John. Leaning more toward Dean, who ultimately did realise that the behaviour was wrong and tried to fix things in much the same way Ada gives Tony the choice to help, to reestablish connection, Dean extends the same to Jack. John never fully does this, he dies still balancing between saving his son vs killing him. And then there is the treating your child based off of seeing him as another person. This one is big too, because Millie and Ada treated their sons as tho punishing them for their fathers, but important distinction, Ada tried not to allow her fear to taint Tony, it was him walking into her nightmare that led to their break. Millie does treat John like this, deliberately. She constantly compares John to Henry and we have to assume this is a behaviour that's been present during John's childhood too because of how prevalent it is.

So we already have all the daddy issues before the main emotional break of the episode is even introduced. And it all paves the way for the John/Samuel parallel's and as such the Dean/Mary parallels once we enter Mary's mind.

And it's important too that it's John talking to Mary that cools John down and it's the comparison to themselves that has him actually willing to relate to Ada's experience.

God I still hate the Saint Miguel reference, especially after the previous episode.

Another important thing about Ada/Dean is they both acknowledge their failings and then choose to do better, whereas Millie is a bit of an inbetween, she's changing as I've said, but is just figuring it out still, she's not really there yet, but she's asking about how to do it which is very important. It means she's willing to put in the work to do better. I also love that Ada immediately believes Tony but so does Carlos, even without the evidence.

Small thing I appreciated about the talk the gang has about the Akrida is Carlos picking up the file and clearly trying to put stuff together themselves.

I love everyone but John's reactions to Ada. So so much. I also love the following your heart advice Ada gives Mary, it reminds me of Mildred (my beloved) giving the same advice to Dean.

God Carlos' lies are awful, how have they been a hunter so long ans still.are this shit at lying. I love them.

I adore the Akrida design as well, i fucking love those bugs soo much.

Aaaand Mary got stung. And Carlos making a joke to difuse the worry is soo soo good and his advice to Ada to just tell Tony the truth is brilliant. As is Ada's talk to him. I LOVE her making sure she refers to Tony as his own person rather than who he is in relation to her, it's her ackowledging his personahood and also her not pushing him and making it clear she knows he likely will still leave and wont force him.to stay, it is such such good communication.

John being signled out makes perfect sense to me here tbh, bacuse outta everyone there, John has been the one to push Mary even when she's been at her most stubborn, he's the one whose been challenging her since they met as she does him. They know Mary can just tune them.out because she's done it before (in this show even) but John has always broken through to her.

John saying you cant fight ur trauma but you can face it, is chef's kiss after last ep. It shows he has been thinking, has been trying to do better even if it's not shown to us. To some degree he knows what he needs to do. I dont even mind thay he's a bit too harsh initially in trying to convince Mary to face her worst memory, bacause it is a time crunch, there's time to process it properly after, once Mary is alive to do it. And he give her the space and understanding she needs once she's going through it, he doesnt make it about himself. So we have not just Mary afecting him like Millie says in the beginning, but he afects her too. This is why they can work together.

But goood I hate the Campbell's just as much as I hate spn!John. For the same reasons, and I still think they were better parents then John, bacause Mary at least had more stability than Dean and Sam did, because she had a stable home. But yea, Mary's tragedy in spn is def partly the fact that her kids had to live what she did, and she has no idea just how similar it was, not really.

John giving Mary the reassurence that shes right to want to leave once shes done hunting is also very very good.

And I gotta say I love the bonding between Ada and Tony at the end, open ended but full of potential and i love lata and tony so so much! And also also, carlos once more pulling that vital vital background work to finally find out about Roxy.

This episode is so chock-full of intergenerational trauma (not that thats surprising, but rather the way it gets highlighted here). There is so so much to talk about and I can't even get all of it out but yeah, heres ep 5. Do i have more thoughts about it? Always. But so far here we leave it

[soleilocverse]

Chapter 23 Commentary

omg wait I like, made a little chart with all the nicknames people tend to call soleil/ness and as athena called soleil "hun" i was like, hm cyrill and athena share a lot of nicknames and then clocked that ray spends all his nickname currency on ness. Esp now that he's stopped calling soleil, "kid", but for good reason on both these points :)

“Oh you marked things for Ness with an ‘N.’ So smart and thoughtful, wonderful job, Soleil.”

Athena like, I literally don't care what I'm going to find SOMETHING to praise him with this morning but he just makes it so easy.

She reaches out instinctively to run her fingers over his hair before she pauses. “Can I pet you?”

I hope it feels natural when they Do and Don't ask for permission. More often than not he's fine w/ it, Enjoys soft hair touches etc, as long as he sees them coming and is chilling so they don't always ask when there's a casual touch. I think I (and so, they) were worried about being overzealous but I think they've settled into more-or-less knowing what is an appropriate touch and when and when it's better to ask or be a little more cautious about when/how they're touching soleil

(which i think is p natural in an involved relationship? like, of any kind - learning over time where the unspoken boundaries are and checking in when the situation is a bit off)

"And mark anything you think Ness would be interested in trying as well.” It might be manipulative but that finally gets him to perk up and he takes the phone quietly from her hands.

Ah, I didn't realize I was mirroring what Ray pointed out last Sick Days chapter @ distracting one of them with mention of/doing something for the other but that Is just a thing they both do so it makes sense that it would come up organically, i'm just dshkfjhds that I didn't clock how close together those scenes were

I just ADORE athena she's so <333 like some of the "come in. get shit done." is a result of being really hard on herself and some other Things but her seeing the state of things and going

okay we are bringing in outside help by a) ordering food in b) contacting these professionals

immediately distracting soleil with a task so that he feels useful and can't wake up and immediately spiral

getting everybody on the same page + making sure they ALL talk to each other

is <3333 like i certainly wouldn't call cyrill or ray incompetent At All but competency go brrr (this being said, ofc she is not immune from making mistakes etc etc and the others show off their competency at other times. adjksadh i think also bc i haven't seen her in a few chapters i'm like HIIIIIIIIIIII, i forgot how much i love u 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘)

After a few minutes, Cyrill shifts beside her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and smooshing his cheek up against her thigh. She takes her other hand and rests it on his shoulder, rubbing circles with her thumb. He nestles closer.

I just like the image :)

Shout out to Dr. Amelia <3 Just casually and professionally going through Soleil's worries about Ness bc that'll help him mentally and then re-orienting in order to remind him to take care of himself.

I actually did write the video call scene but it made me sad and I was like, i think they are having enough angst as it is and I don't want to draw this out too much longer (Ness was Not happy w/ soleil on the other side of the screen which is what led to what they say in ch 23)

Athena getting more formal when stressed my beloved. who uses semi colons in a text i'm crying

“They might be busy right now,” he says softly. Athena clicks her teeth at him and he winces and tries again.

Cyrill trends towards white lying if he thinks it might hurt less while Athena trends towards open and honest communication even if it might be more hurtful in the moment

I get >> Soleil and Cyrill's names mixed-up when typing more than I would like adgkashkd. It doesn't happen Often but every time i catch it i'm like >> (this usually happens if I name one of them earlier in a sentence or am planning on mentioning them later in the sentence/scene my brain will catch on or anticipate that name)

“I think I might sleep some more, like Dr. Amelia said,” he says, as if he has to give a reason for wanting to rest.

Just. I think it flies under Cyrill's radar here that this is literally Exactly why athena called amelia. they can tell soleil to rest as much as they want, he's still going to be anxious about it and feel like he's taking up space and not being useful enough etc etc, but if /Doctor/ Amelia has said that rest is Important, he can use that as a bit of a prop to actually Do So. It's not just about being reassured for Ness's sake but getting the Professional opinion of someone that the others also obviously defer to.

Then she turns to Soleil and asks him how he’s feeling and Soleil still can’t really avoid a direct question.

I'm still just <333 @ Athena. I think it's fun how she tends to be the Most direct when she decides to do smth about something and is the least hesitant to be "underhanded" or manipulative about her methods

It does sound appealing, to let Athena speak for him [in therapy]

just wanted to note that this is NOT what athena is offering lol but soleil is like ":0000 letting someone else speak for me again sounds nice,,,, take the agency away from me i don't want it, it's scary and i trust u and u will stop fucking things up bc i feel fucked up and it's easier to just do what i'm told (even if it's not Nicer, but i think you would make it Nicer than it used to be)" etc etc

I was so unhappy with the pacing of this ch for a minute bc i didn't want to spend ANOTHER day in cyrill's room and then clocked. this is my fantastical story with a made up organization that employs its own psychotherapists/psychiatrists, ofc penny would be on call. and so :) therapy session on sunday, saving me from having to write sunday afternoon-evening of just waiting for penny

goes insane bc i wrote this when i introduced penny into chapter 23 but then i kept writing more and just now decided to split it up so. another chapter in cyrill's room but i don't think another in-fic day, help. I wanna trim things sometimes and i DO trim things sometimes but............i am just too hooked on showing the minutiae of these convos and interactions

goes further insane bc i see that chapter 22 is back to cyrill's nest like WOW THE TIMING IS NOT TIMING. i feel like this arc has been going on FOREVER because i've been working on it for genuinely a year atp but really it's only been like, 5 chapters. shoutout to the people reading along as i post and have been with me on this arc since like. may.

[skaruresonic]

This is the reason I have a strict "do not contact IDW staff" policy. It used to be "do not contact IDW staff unless they initiate contact first," but after Mauro implied he'd been combing through a mutual's likes to look at an ask I sent another mutual, I got skeeved out and was like "Nope, nope, get out of my kitchen."

It might seem paranoid, but I kind of got all sorts of red flags from that conversation even though we both strove to remain civil. I wish I had saved screenshots, as it occurred on a previous blog. Honestly, though, the whole thing freaked me out so much that I just try not to think about it if possible.

For those unfamiliar: Mauro PM'ed me out of the blue one day after I got into a rather admittedly nasty argument with another user about his Surge sketches, for the purpose of clearing up "misconceptions" about why he drew them that way.

Actually, I think he PM'ed me on two separate occasions, but like I said, I don't like thinking about it much because dwelling on it will wig me out.

He implied... a number of things. That he lurks on critics' blogs and perhaps even seeks them out because the unfiltered criticism "helps him improve." When I said he could just ask us for criticism upfront and that we won't rip his head off (in politer terms, ofc), his reply basically amounted to "but you'll mince your words and that isn't as helpful to me, so I'll just keep doing what I'm doing."

He also implied people tend to give him blind praise, which he doesn't find helpful. Already I was kind of feeling weird and off-kilter about this exchange, but what really waved a red flag was when he said he saw an ask I sent a mutual through another mutual's likes and tried to reassure me I wasn't "doing anything wrong." He even acknowledged that he'd freak out too if something like this happened to him.

While I get that he probably didn't have nefarious intentions and we tried to be as nice and civil to each other as possible, being PM'ed by a staff member so abruptly made me want to seek advice on how to proceed, so I asked @woodchipp what I should do before replying to Mauro. There were no notes on that post except a single like by an unrelated mutual. To clarify, I did not reblog that ask. That means Mauro A.) probably already knows who I'm mutuals with, B.) probably (?) checks our blogs with some degree of frequency, C.) recently went looking for posts mentioning him, D.) went scouring through their likes, because he already knows who I'm mutuals with, and found that ask. Either that or it's a huge coincidence. However, I find "coincidence" to stretch believability a little thin as an explanation.

That's not just "oh, I so happened to stumble across your post." That's keeping tabs on people. And I for one don't like it.

People are all like "words hurt," but it's like, okay, who is showing them these words in the first place? Does my privacy as a fan matter to you at all? Does it matter to you that your blind praise is stunting their growth as artists to the point where they feel the need to trawl blogs for criticism they kinda shouldn't be looking at in the first place, thus making the situation weird for everyone involved?

I don't contact them not because I'm a coward, as people love to imply. I don't block people because I'm pussying out. I'm doing it to draw a boundary. Somebody has to do it, because quite frankly, given IDW staff's penchant for unprofessionalism and overstepping boundaries between creators and fans multiple times, I don't exactly trust them to uphold their end of the fannish social contract.

No, we don't get to continue this conversation if you're going to willfully ignore my points and paint me as a harasser. No, I'm not talking to them because A.) I don't owe them a conversation in the first place, curb the entitlement, and B.) because I don't know if they're keeping tabs on my blog. They may or may not, but why stick my neck out on the chopping block on the naive hope that they're not? Why give them possible grounds to make even more harassment rain down on my head? I don't trust people who try to tell me one thing while their actions imply something else.

Well that's not insecure at all lol

This skeeves me out so much. Am I on a watch list?

If fucking. IDW simps are stalk following me so they can screenshot the mean shit I say and show it to their senpai in hopes of getting paid attention to for a single moment. That makes me so uncomfortable lol x3 I assume it's that and I hope to God they're not following me personally.

If I wanted IDW staff to see my posts about their bullshit I'd @ them because I'm not a pussy. I don't, because I don't want them to see the things I say in my posts, because I am incredibly mean and I don't want to hurt anybodies feelings by forcing them to see the mean things I say lol.