#also that scene in the season four opening where he looks surprised/even a little scared at magneto exploding on him made me sad

[vaguely-concerned]

Now I know Remys age in Evolution my sad HC is that after being given the boot from New Orleans by Dad of the Year Jean Luc, he was on his own for ages until Magneto popped up and was like “hello vulnerable teenager; want to join my gang of old men and fight a couple of kids and a giant spider for me?” and cus Remy was going through his emo phase of I’m All Alone ™️ he said “Sure, why not. Can’t be any worse then being kicked out by the only family you’ve ever known” 👀

Oooh yeah that’s definitely a possibility! whatever went down back then in this version certainly was bad enough that even jean luc is openly like ‘yeah that was pretty uncool of me, I wouldn’t have come back to save me after all that’ haha, seems like things would have been pretty :’( for a while afterwards.   

my personal impression/pet theory is that good ol’ mags kept most of the acolytes (minus sabertooth b/c all you’d have to tell him is ‘you get to fight wolverine and generally be a jerk’ lol) in line with some form of blackmail or by keeping someone/thing hostage -- we know he did this with colossus’ family, and pyro dude certainly seems to hate him enough that it feels plausible. so I enjoy the idea that magneto found some sort of dirt on remy (prooobably about something he stole) and threatened to leak it/deliver him to the Wrong People (proooobably someone he stole from and it wasn’t like they even noticed they were missing a couple of monets for days so was it really that bad if you think about it? should one really get one’s kneecaps hypothetically broken over such a thing, if, theoretically, one did do the thing one stands accused of?) if he didn’t come along and he was like ‘...mais oui mon ami lead the way. oh and I get a roof over my head? why didn’t you say so before, go team’. which might explain why magneto seems so comfortable bossing him around with busywork like babysitting the brotherhood without worrying he’ll get fed up and wander off haha. he seems like an ‘it’s better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both’ sort of leader in this. (and as we see with the brotherhood magneto is as cool with using teenagers for these sorts of things as professor x is, which is why they deserve each other lol) 

[jerrienelock]

Without You - Sadie Sink

Takes place after the filming of Stranger Things Season 3

Exhausted.

Sadie is exhausted from all her sleepless nights. The sleep she longs for, no longer around, not since you left. She misses your presence, your hugs, your delicate words, your gentle touches. She just wants to be in your arms relishing in your radiant warmth, feeling your loving kisses to the back of her head.

She just wishes you had told her how you were feeling before that fateful day happened.

Splashes of water coat her face, trying to wake herself up, and cleanse her mind of you so she is prepared for her first interview since you left. Sadie shuts the water off, her hands now firmly on the sink. Her gaze locks with her reflection. Her once smooth skin, disturbed with protruding deep purple bags under her broken teal eyes. Her lips automatically dropping into a deep miserable frown, she finds no need for her mouth to break away from that position for it was practically engraved into her skin.

But soon she will have to tear it out and upturn the frown in a mask of joy and perfection. She doesn't want to do that, she just wants to go home and cry into one of your hoodies and not come out for days on end or until filming starts up again.

She should be strong, but without you there it feels like her whole world is slowly falling apart, and just a gentle push can send it tumbling down. You were her rock, her saviour, her superhero that fends off all the bad guys for her.

But now that you're gone, she has to do that all alone.

An interview without you at her side feels so daunting, she won't be able to clutch onto your hands when she feels a slight bit of nerves. She won't be able to rely on you to get through the merciless questions that will only be worse, now that you're gone.

"Sades?" A soft voice calls from behind the bathroom door. Sadie quickly stands up straight and regains her composure just as the door opens to reveal Millie. "Oh Sades," The Fifteen-year-old says sympathetically opening her arms for the redhead.

Sadie instantly buries herself into the younger girl. "I miss her." She mutters into Millie's shoulder.

"I miss her too."

Millie tightens the hug and she stands there holding Sadie with all her might, afraid that if she were to let go the older girl will break down and shatter right in front of her. But she could feel Sadie begin to sob and heave in her arms. "It's okay," Millie hushes the girl, her one hand rubbing Sadie's back delicately.

After a few more minutes Sadie tears away brushing away her running tears, "I got given the camera she would do her diary entries on. Could we maybe watch it later, at my house with the boys?"

Millie nods, "We would love to do that. Now come Sades, we have to go, it's going to start soon."

The interview was the longest two hours of Sadie's life, she wanted to hide away from all the questions and sympathetic looks she had been given throughout. Noah had noticed her discomfort and had his hand placed on hers comforting the hurting redhead all throughout. The rest of the cast had helped with the questions she had found quite hard to answer, the one's involving you, and how she was feeling since your passing.

But now she sits in her living room cuddled into Millie, with your stuffed dog, watching as the boys try to hook up your old camera, all arguing as they figure out what cable goes where. This earns a small smile from Sadie.

Soon the boys get the camera working and instantly your bright cheery face pops up on the TV. Sadie sits up a little straighter at the sight of you, her heart both racing and aching at the same time. Millie pulls the girl closer to her, in a way of further comforting her but also to make room for Caleb who wanted to sit next to the pair while the others sat on the ground in front of the couch.

"Hello!" Your voice exclaims through the speakers. "Welcome to Diary Entry One! I am as you can see on the set of Stranger Things Season Two!" The camera flicks around showing the bustling set before flicking back around.

The cast knew exactly when this first took place, the first day of filming just after they had all met Sadie.

"We got a new girl here as well, her name is Sadie Sink." You gush into the camera, a pink hue evident on your cheeks. "She's really nice... and pretty." You murmur the last part looking off to the side. "Anyways! Let's go see her!" You quickly rush off to where you had been looking at, camera in tow and stop at a then fifteen-year-old Sadie, "Hello bloody tampon, say hi to the camera!"

Everyone laughs, including Sadie who remembers that exact moment.

"What did you just call me?" Sadie questions in disbelief and You laugh, "You heard me." Before Sadie could say anything else, you quickly leave and shut the camera off.

"Hello!" You shout  with Finn alongside you, "This is, drum roll please Wolf boy," Finn drums his hands on his lap, "Diary Entry Two!" You and Finn cheer loudly capturing the attention of some of the crew members behind you. They immediately hush you both as they film a scene involving Sadie and Caleb. You and Finn quietly apologise before making your way over to Dacre who speaks with Natalia and Joe.

"Dacre!" Finn calls out causing the man to stop and turn to them, a bright smile on his face.

"Hello Lacey, Mike. What can I do for you?"

"Can you answer some-" Finn begins but you cut him off abruptly

"Is Sadie single?"

Finn turns to you and the camera wide-eyed. Dacre raises a brow, throwing a quick glance over to Natalia and Joe. "I don't know? Why, are you interested?"

Your voice sounds panicked from behind the camera, "No! I mean, Finn is."

"Y/n!" Finn shouts, "I don't!" He quickly grabs the camera from your grip and turns it to face a laughing you before cutting the feed.

"Oh, so that's how that rumour sprouted. You look so scared," Sadie giggles and Finn sends her a mocking glare.

"I didn't know she was going to say that okay?" He chuckles.

The next video rolls on and it shows both Sadie and you.

You set the camera down in front of Sadie who was busy getting her hair done. She eyes the camera cautiously as the stylist ducks out the way slightly. "This is Diary Entry number three... I think," You sit down on a chair next to her, your stylist moving in to prep your hair. "We are almost finished filming!" You smile and look over to Sadie who does a quick glance at you. "Anyways, it's time."

"Time for what?" Sadie quiers

"Time for the questions silly," You laugh tilting your head back as your stylist  combs your hair. "First question, how has your time on set been?"

"It's been great! Everyone is amazing!"

"Everyone? You sure you don't mean just me?"

Sadie giggles, "Sure."

A few more questions were asked, them mainly being about how she has felt about her time acting and being forced in a room with you and the others. She had opened up slightly about how she felt kind of isolated in the beginning due to everyone already knowing each other until You and Millie kindly took her under your wing.

"Okay last question, do you have eyes for anyone?" You smirk and Sadie goes silent.

"No comment," You gasp.

"What! Sadelyn Sinkhole does have eyes on someone," You lean forward much to your stylests dismay as she pulls you back. "Who is it?"

Once again Sadie replies, "No comment." and you huff.

"I will get it out of you. It may not be today, but it will happen someday."

Sadie's cheeks turn pink and she can't help but hide her smile in your stuffed teddy, reminiscing about how she had ended up spilling her feelings to you not even a day later. To her surprise back then you had reciprocated her feelings and even managed to steal her first kiss, she doing the same to you.

The next video rolls on with you beaming once again in the camera.

"Hello!" You exclaim once again, in the background was the cast in their season two attire watching you with smiles. "This is Diary Entry number four, we have now finished the infamous season two!" The group breaks out into cheers and a round of applause, and you place the camera down on a stand so that everyone was in the frame and move back to go sit next to Sadie, pushing Finn out of the way in the process.

"I can't believe you couldn't tell she liked you!" Finn exclaims gesturing to the action you had pulled. "Your girlfriend literally pushed me out of my seat," He laughs making Sadie snigger.

"So Caleb Mclaughlin." You start, capturing the young boy's attention, "How was it like to kiss the gorgeous Max Mayfield, the infamous MadMax," You tease and the boy bows his head in embarrassment, Everyone laughs and so do you but it was cut short as you began to cough. "You okay Y/n?" Sadie questions and you nod while Sadie not so sneakily brings her hand into yours.

"Wait!" Millie jumps in disbelief her eyes trained at the holding hands, "Were you two a couple then?" She flickers her gaze over to Sadie who turns as red as her hair, "Oh my God! We thought you two got together just before Season Three." Millie smiles slapping Sadie's leg jokingly, "You dirty dogs!"

The entry's continue, this time mostly showing you and Sadie alone. Most of the time, your hands were wrapped around her waist while she holds the camera up at you two in various locations.

"First date!" Sadie exclaims looking lovingly over at you.

*

"Can you see me?" You question trying to look over into the camera to see if you were in the frame- you in fact were not.

* "Sades!" You call out for her from her living room. "I got you something!" The camera flicks down to a necklace with a small pendant in your hand.

While that video shows, Sadie herself glances down at the necklace you had given her and fiddles with it, her heart fluttering in her chest.

*

"Do you think they'll freak out when we tell them?" Sadie questions fiddling with your hand as the camera shows you both walking back onto the set for a reading. You nod, "Oh, most definitely." The camera cuts and then turns back onto an unknowing Millie waiting for you both at the entrance to the reading.

"Y/n! Sadie!- Woah." Millie's eyes go wide as she spots your hands, "Are you two?" She gestures between the both of you. Sadie confirms with a kiss of your cheek causing her to squeal and run in to tell everyone.

* "Hello! And we're back! Season Three of Stranger Things, it's your favourite character Aunt Helga speaking." You laugh at your own words, "I'm joking, it's the best character out of the show, Dustins' sister Lacey. Today we are as usual on our first day back at filming." You cheer, "This is Diary Entry number five."

"Y/n! Where are you?" Dacre calls out in the background, "You have to go get pepper-sprayed in the face!" You widen your eyes slightly, and Dacre appears behind you, "It's just water don't worry."

The camera cuts but then is turned back on to show a smiling Dacre, he flips the camera around and it shows you being dunked in the Henderson's kitchen sink by Caleb and Sadie. "I'm drowning!" You yell out gasping for breaths. "I'd rather you drown than go blind, Lacey," Sadie comments in Max's character. Caleb goes to turn off the tap but instead accidentally turns it on full speed, the water hitting you right in the mouth making you choke and develop a coughing fit. "I didn't mean to literally drown her!" Sadie yells and Caleb throws his hand up defensively, "My hands slipped."

That scene was a blooper itself but yet it was still kept in the actual show.

Many more diary entries ended up being full of bloopers, you hanging with Sadie and sometimes the rest of the crew until it started to change.

There you stand in front of the camera, your hands clutching your chest tightly, "My chest hurts." You croak out, tears swelling in your eyes from the pain.

The cast visibly sit a little straighter at the sight of you.

You stand there for a few more seconds just holding onto your chest before finally you drop your hands down and stand straighter. You furrow your brows, "It's gone. I don't know what it is but it's been happening a lot lately." You announce but quickly shrug it off as you hear your name being called. You grab onto the camera and run out where Sadie is standing waiting for you with a bright white smile. You grab onto your girlfriend's hand and you walk off to your next scene.

Another video rolls on this time showing you setting the camera down in a position so that it showed the set you were on. You are then seen dashing back onto set and getting onto your starting position with Gaten at your side. The video goes on as normal with the familiar star court scene and then all the way to the end, with Dacre having moved it for you to get the right angles where you stand near a casted officer, signalling the end of the filming process.

"Cut," The director yells and cheers are heard all around. You jump up and hug the nearest person to you, this being Sadie and enrapturing her into a joyful kiss before moving on to everyone else.

The mood is noticeably ecstatic and everyone is busy cleaning up, with you having a quick word with Sadie before going to head for your still recording camera, shouting a 'Shut up' to Caleb who had mocked what you said to your girlfriend. Your smile is bright and inviting until it drops to a stone cold expression.

And then you were seen clutching onto your chest, feet staggering and skin paling before dropping to the floor.

"Y/n!" Gaten screams hurtling over to you, just in time to catch you. You weren't moving and the camera shows it, it shows everything happening at that exact moment. It shows Gatens terrified face as he shakes you, trying to wake you up. It shows crew members flying over to you in a hurry. It shows your girlfriend and the others staring at you horrified and worried.

"Someone call an ambulance!" The director yells shoving past all crew members who were just crowded around you. Immediately chest compressions were started.

"Oh God," Caleb murmurs his teary eyes entranced on the TV. He wants to look away but he can't.

Sadie sniffles, her heart aching tremendously at the screen.

Millie and Finn hold a sobbing Sadie in the far corner of the screen, while Noah is seen dashing for the camera and turning it off.

They thought it was the end but another clip rolls and a bloodshot eyed Sadie Sink appears in one of your hoodies, holding your stuffed dog close to her chest. She was in your dressing room, it was known by the pictures you had placed on the walls of your family and the cast behind Sadie.

"Hi Y/n," Sadie croaks out, voice breaking instantly. She can't speak, her throat hurts and her tears just flow out coating your stuffed animal with her tears. "I miss you. It's only been a few hours since you left us, but I miss you so much." She brings your hoodie to wipe away a few of her tears, "I just want to say I love you."

Sadie can't look at the video anymore, her heart aching in great amounts in her chest, her bottom lip quivering noticeably. She turns and shoves her head directly into a saddened Millie who immediately takes her into her arms. Sadie wishes it was you instead.

She can still hear her own shattering voice in the video, each word breaking and every sentence ending with a cry. A cry of mourning. A cry for you. A cry for you to just come back and tell her you're not going anywhere. A cry for her broken heart.

Sobs wrack Sadie's body and a loud cry exits her making the crying cast members cast looks of sorrow, heartbreak and pain at her.

The video proceeds and Sadie is now still sat in your chair, this time not saying anything. Your stuff dog is latched to her chest, her chin sitting on top of the toy while she runs little patterns on her knee- something you would do to her when you felt nervous in interviews or big events. And then the door quietly opens and Sadie is seen turning back abruptly, her head shaking furiously.

"No, no, no, no," She sobs as your dad steps foot into the trailer there to retrieve your stuff. "Please can I keep the camera, please!" Your dad shakes his head sadly, tears in his own eyes as he reaches down to grab hold of the device.

"Please!" Sadie begs, "I can't live without her. I can't live without seeing her!"

The camera cuts off.

***

Masterlist; celebrities

[belit0]

Commission for @GlitterBomba!

Part 2 of this!! I don't feel it's as angsty as it should be, but for some reason, my creativity wanted it that way? It's been a long time since I've last written, and this was definitely a challenge... First part was produced way too long ago, so it was also challenging to connect with what I felt when I wrote it! But here it is, and I hope you like it, GlitterBomba. Thanks for trusting me!

My Ko-fi page~ Buy me a coffee if anyone wants part 3 ❤（っ＾▿＾）

It took you days to awaken from your deep sleep, days which became weeks, and weeks transformed into months. There was no hope for your life among the healers, but the tenacity and insistence of those elders who saved you forced them to continue providing methods and energy, herbs, talismans to keep you breathing.

Impossible to explain how that mortal blow did not steal your last breath, not when the perpetrator was the greatest tyrant in the current world, the monster everyone learned to fear and flee from. In the small place where you are kept hidden, rumor has it the treacherous one repented as soon as his hand affected your body, causing you not to succumb immediately.

It wasn’t until after he vanished, shrouded in lightning and hatred, when one of Ashura’s subordinates came upon the scene of your sad fate. A pool of blood acting as a bed over a pale body, devoid of any warmth and life. Everyone was quick to write you off for dead after such an event, and only when one of the village elders took your pulse did he find your incredible attempt to resist despite all odds.

Keeping you along with the new leader and his people would not be a good idea. Not when you barely escaped with your life from the beast. In case he came back and besieged his younger brother, it would be better if he didn’t find you there. That man proved to have an unquenchable thirst for revenge.

Tempting fate once is more than enough.

That led a group of elderly men, those who defended your slight pulse when everyone thought you were dead, to ask Ashura’s permission before disappearing and taking you to a safe place, making use of some of the village healers to ensure your health. 8 men of different ages vanish with you, swearing on their lives to do everything possible for you to open your eyes again.

Winters turned into warm seasons, and autumn leaves were waning. Two whole years quickly go by before your consciousness returns. The world is different. You understand through your guardians that life passed with you as a ghostly presence, a bedridden legend they fought all this time to preserve.

No one mentions what happened to you, though. No one names him.

To everyone’s surprise, you don’t really ask about the village; you don’t ask about your birthplace and your home. You don’t ask... about him.

Your healers discover you memory was damaged after exhaustive examinations beyond your comprehension. Theories why this happened are various in your little home; some argue the loss of blood hurt your brain, others believe the trauma of that betrayal forced you to block it all out, and there are those who think maybe you ignored the past on purpose.

Still, there is an unspoken rule forbidding the mention of what happened, of the village, of those two brothers. After experiencing hell, what would be the benefit of forcibly bringing you back to that horrible past? In this remote place, you have the chance to start from scratch, and your rescuers believe it is the least you deserve.

Little by little, you gradually learn everything all over again. Your own name, your age, information about those around you. You ask with animosity about everything you don’t understand, and the only thing there is reluctance to answer is when you want to know about who you were before... this.

Healers get the problem off their shoulders, rushing you to ask such questions to the older people. They shoo you out of their humble hut with nervousness and red faces, panic in their eyes.

Seniors sigh as they stare into nothingness, sadness and nostalgia, painting their countenances with something you cannot grasp. Some even drop a couple of tears to the rhythm of a depressing whisper, “oh poor child...”

The scene makes you feel so guilty you end up consoling them, assuring it’ s not a big deal and you don’t need to be told. That your life in this small place with them is all you need to be happy, past or no past.

Regardless, it is the scar monstrously painting your stomach which makes you uneasy. While tracing the edges of that sensitive skin with your fingertips, you feel its reason for existence is on the tip of your tongue. As if reminders of what happened to you are lingering there, buried in your head, but creeping closer to your memory every time you look at your navel.

What happened? What terrible thing could have left such an enormous mark on your skin, but not in your head?

It’s frustrating.

Eventually, curiosity to explore beyond your own narrow world peaks. It’s quite natural, considering four older men and four medicine buffs rarely make for an interesting group of company. Older men drink tea most of the day, when they’re not napping in the sun, of course. The rest read rigorously and debate among themselves about their newly gained knowledge.

Getting permission is a complicated task. They are terribly afraid of your departure, scared of your fate, frightened of what dangers you might encounter.

But how to keep you there forever, when you have seen the vivid movement the closest town has?

Perhaps it was your rescuers’ mistake for allowing you to go exploring within the boundaries they considered safe, yet you inevitably discovered such a place, so close and yet so far away, so full of people and... life. Persons of all ages walking from one side to the other, food you never saw before displayed in various stalls, children playing with each other, unaware of the surrounding universe. Everything looks completely natural, as if folks are used to this kind of lifestyle since long ago, and you wonder if you ever lived in a similar environment.

Just what hides in your past?

After insistence and great pleas against the overprotection imparted on you, they understand it is simply hopeless to make you give up your idea unless they expose all those shocking events, unless they explain from what kind of danger it is necessary for you to hide, from whom it is imperative you escape.

No one knew anymore about that demon after his disappearance the same day, and it is uncertain where he is. Whether he is hiding or far from your current home, it is unknown to anyone, and it would invoke bad luck if your guardians expected you to meet him face to face once you get away from them.

Preparation of weeks and many directions, you finally depart from your unnoticed hideout in the world, leaving behind anxious seniors and worried healers.

It was agreed you could explore for a couple of months, but your eventual return is a binding closure on the deal you reluctantly struck. Each new destination brings with it new discoveries, tastes, experiences. You always find charitable souls willing to help when you are short of food, water or shelter, people who offer to give directions when you get disoriented, people who share stories with you on lonely, nostalgic nights.

With each step you take in the outside world, less you understand what your guardians are afraid of. Everyone is well meaning, and no one seeks to take advantage of your innocence. It is incomprehensible why this was denied to you for so long, and every time you think of your precious little home, an emptiness grows in your heart.

Weeks slowly pass, and having experienced so much in such a short time, you find the need to recount it to those you consider your family. As initially agreed, it may be time to return, to prove the world is not as terrible as they feared.

A few miles from homeland, just as you feel you are walking the grounds of your family again, you stop at a stream to get a drink of water, determined not to slow down until you reach your destination. It is too much of a thrill to witness those 8 insane people bickering and arguing. You absentmindedly smile as you rinse your face.

In your distraction, you cannot hear footsteps approaching at your back. It’s not like you would have detected them if you were paying attention either, for the person stalking you is deliberately careful, calculating.

Turning, your face affects directly into a solid mass of muscle, sending you tumbling down the riverbank again. Any woman would have assumed the worst when connecting glances with a man who invades her personal space unannounced, but from your mouth comes a concerned “Are you okay?”

The man, who is watching you as if a ghost were sitting next to you in the water and you were unaware of it, bleeds. Profusely, indeed. Both of his hands are deeply cut, distinct wounds on his palms dripping thickly to the ground.

There is no answer to your question, and the man’s countenance is difficult to decipher. His eyes glow a red which fades too quickly to analyze, his complexion is completely pale and unhealthy, his hair points in all directions, forming a long brown tangle which you deduce has not been combed for some time. For moments, it is as if there are words trying to pierce his lips, but the stupor of the individual continues.

“Your hands... we really should take care of them, shouldn’t we? Aiya, let this humble one help you heal.”

There is no reaction as you stand up and take him by the arm, guiding him to a large rock away from the water and helping him to sit up. His gaze is still completely fixed on your face, searching for something you’ re oblivious to. His mouth opens and closes rapidly, agitated breaths accompanied by sounds resembling syllables.

“Look at this mess alone... sir, you should be cautious walking along the bed of these waters. They are treacherous, hm?”

Ripping off one of your sleeves, previously dampened when you fell into the water, you use the cloth to clean his wounds. There’s not much you can do here, out in the open and in these conditions, but judging by the man’s appearance, he was probably recently attacked. When you mention your little home a few miles away, the man doesn’t refuse or accept.  

Still, when you head back to the road, you find the fellow following you from behind, head down and staring at the ground. In his hands he tightly clenches the cloth of your sleeve, and blood stains the fabric completely at this point. You talk about the healers in your place, and how they can help him get better, but no matter how much you try, the man never responds. You ponder whether, perhaps, the situation he experienced before he ran into you may have been intense, and you attribute his perturbation to that.

After walking without pause all afternoon, your silent companion always keeping your own pace, your destination appears in front of you. From afar, you can see the elders sitting on the engawa of their cottage, sharing tea and quietly waiting for dusk. All is silent, and your announcement of arrival is the only thing disturbing the atmosphere.

Your arms wave vigorously to catch the attention of those you regard as family, a splendorous smile planted on your face, walking at an increased speed to catch up with them. An extended curtsey bow is given before them, and only after raising your head you dare to give them all a group hug, false formality forgotten as much as your guest.

The man slowly approaches this scene and analyzes the faces of those present as the embrace takes place. Had you not been turning your back on him, you may have noticed the change in his countenance, coldness creeping over his features from one moment to the next. None of the elders noticed his noiseless presence, not even having sensed it to begin with, and it is not until one of them finishes smiling and opens his eyes to come face to face with their worst fear.

Suddenly the hug is interrupted when this old man lets out a shriek, trying to back away and losing his balance. You follow his line of sight while turning, and find that innocent-looking stranger again, disoriented. There are screams all around you. Seniors are horrified and collapse on the floor next to each other, completely surrendered to the gaze of the demon fixed on them.

“Don’t behave like that! It would appear it wasn’t you guys who taught me manners... I’m so sorry, sir, they’re not used to dealing with travelers, let alone wounded ones... if you’d be so kind as to follow me?”

Throwing a withering glance at the group of elders, you direct your guest to the house the healers occupy. True, your little family is not used to encountering men in the state this very one is in, but you never expected such an exaggeration. A bit of unkempt hair and blood, pale skin, and they’re all screaming on the floor?

The reaction of the healers is not much different, and after reprimanding them for behaving so shamefully, you get them to treat the man’s hands. Leaving them alone so as not to disturb the setting, you make your way to the third and final cottage, your own. Since the other houses occupy four people each, it would be problematic to ask them to accommodate your own guest, and you take your time assembling an extra bed, improvising with blankets.

Nighttime is delightfully quiet, and as the door opens without warning, you greet the individual with a smile. Elders have taken the trouble to bring food for both you and him, announcing neither they nor the healers were in the mood to share dinner together.

The man’s hands are bandaged, his palms completely covered, and his thumbs trapped in the wrappings. He looks uncomfortable, and it shows in his inability to do anything on his own. His chopsticks are impossible to hold as he kneels on the floor and tries to eat, and after many urgings from you, he nods silently and almost imperceptibly, allowing you to help him.

“You see... you’re here, eating my food, under my roof, safe and comfortable... and I still don’t know your name...”

Teasing is imminent in your voice, hoping to relax him, if only a little. As he takes another bite and chews, his eyes are fixed on the table, like trying to hide from your presence.

After analyzing the end of your day alongside this presence, you assessed this man must be terribly shy, perhaps someone properly introverted. Still, observing his features, you get a strange familiarity, a feeling making you let your guard down and relax in front of him. A secret knocking at the door of your mind, demanding to burst in front of you but being invisible at the same time.

“... Uchiha...”

Without expecting an answer anymore, after several minutes, his voice surprises you. It sounds like that of someone who rarely uses it, raspy and rusty, as if it had been forgotten long ago, and not even the man himself remembers its ringing.

“Um?”

“Lord Uchiha...”

His name, you realize. Formal, a title.

Lord Uchiha continues in the same position, just like his words had been an illusion. It is impossible to keep giving him food, his attitude surly and refusing, and you wonder if he plans to spend the entire night in the same position if you allow him to.

Demandingly, you get him up and offer him your bed for the night.

He tries to take the spot you set up on the floor, and displays physical strength far beyond what you thought he had. There are firm muscles hiding under his stained white tunic, and they flex slightly every time he tries to change the course you both walk. He is probably holding back, you realize, for the way his forearm tenses. The stubbornness of this individual… as if he were someone unaccustomed to taking orders, leading rather than listening. Either way, he ends up tucked inside your room, buried under sheets and quilts so he doesn’t get cold.

You find your own resting place after closing the door and leaving your guest. There is not much room inside your small home, and yet, the greatest comforts are offered to those who really need them.

That night, a fearsome nightmare assaults your dreams. A pitch-black claw pierces your stomach from both sides, long nails tearing through skin and tissue like cloth. Blood pools at your feet, solidifying and making escape impossible. You feel your lips move in a choked scream, and a single word escapes your throat along with another red waterfall.

“... Indra...”

[just--another--daydreamer]

Childhood dreams

» Hitoshi Shinso x male reader

» Fandom: My hero academia » Summary: Shinso tries to reconnect with you after a fight » Warnings: Small Season 5/Manga spoilers! language, anxiety, overthinking » Words: 2.1k

You can find a link to my Masterlist and additional info in my bio and pinned post

“We are going to become heroes together.”

That is the pinkie promise Shinso has been holding onto this whole time. The promise that has inspired him, that has given him hope, that has made him want to do is very best. But in the end, it did not work out. 

Every single time Shinso watches you walk down the halls among other students of class 1-A, your voice saying those words to him echoes in his head. He keeps his distance, since he does not want you to catch him staring at you, not after all the things he said to you.

Becoming heroes together was his and your childhood dream. Growing up, he and you watched the heroes on TV together, talked about the news, imagined yourselves as a duo of great heroes. You were one of the only kids in Shinso’s class who never shied away from replying to Shinso and he admired that about you. And whenever another child told him he would make a better villain, you always stepped in and reassured him.

However, the dream died quickly – at least for Shinso. He knew that there was no way for him to pass the entrance exam for the hero course at UA, but you seemed to hold onto that dream still. Long story short, Shinso ended up failing where you succeeded, leading to the very first serious fight in your friendship, that was also the last one.

Shinso does not remember anything as clearly as the words he said to you that day. When you told him you were sorry that he did not pass the exam and expressed your genuine sadness over that fact, he snapped at you.

“I can’t believe that you held onto this naïve dream all this time, that’s childish,” he told you. “I don’t need you to pity me, I don’t need you to look down on me like all the others do.” He can remember calling you childish, blaming you for the quirk you were born with that will make you a great hero, telling you that your promise was the reason why he was feeling so disappointed in himself after failing.

He still feels awful about it and he does not blame you for not talking to him again after that.

Shinso sometimes finds himself pitying himself for losing you. When he watches you in the hallways, he can feel his heart ache. He lost his best friend, his future sidekick – or according to you – the hero he would be the sidekick of. He lost an important part of his life. And that hurts. He misses you, he misses the days the two of you spent together, the way his heartbeat picked up in pace when you were around him and the way you never failed to cheer him up. There are things he never told you and now he regrets it.

He does not know if he would ever tell you any of this and the only thing that he knows for sure is that he wants you back. Though he is not sure about how to achieve that.

“Shinso! Watch out!” The voice of his teacher pulls Shinso back into reality but the wake-up call comes too late and he finds himself falling to the ground, tangled up in his capture weapon and unsure if he still has all of his limbs attached in the right places. “Ouch!” Shinso groans as he tries to untangle himself.

Instead of helping him, Mister Aizawa starts to lecture him. Having heard the same bullshit about him being very far behind class 1-A and thus having to train even harder, needing to concentrate and so on and so forth, Shinso decides to not pay too much attention to that. It takes him a few more seconds to finally free himself but he remains sitting on the ground, rubbing his hurting back.

“You are more distracted than usual, did something happen?” Shinso is surprised that his teacher would ever ask him something like that. “It’s nothing,” he replies dryly but that does not seem to satisfy Mister Aizawa. “I can’t help you train when you keep getting distracted, that’s a waste of time. So either you talk about what’s up and we continue training after you’ve got your mind clear, or you go home right now.”

Shinso takes a second to consider his teacher’s words. His eyes fall onto the capture weapon in his hands, his key to becoming a hero. And he needs to take this chance. He cannot waste any more time with distractions and dwelling in memories. This is his chance. His chance to finally tell you that you will indeed become heroes together, maybe he will make up with you. The thought of approaching you to tell you this both scares and excites him.

“There’s this guy in your class,” he starts. “Y/N. We wanted to become heroes together, but it didn’t work out. Said some pretty awful stuff to him. I’ve been thinking about how to tell him that our dream will come true after all.” His mentor looks a little irritated at that “Well, you are not in the hero course just yet, so you should do your best. Now get up again.”

Shinso groans once again bug gets up anyway. His legs are shaking a little from how much he has been straining his muscles, but he tries to ignore that.

“I encourage you to talk to Y/N and sort things out,” Aizawa continues after a pause. “He doesn’t seem like the kind of person to hold grudges, so it should be fine after you apologize.” It is not a lot of reassurance, but it is more than Shinso would have ever expected from his mentor, so he appreciates it. “I’ll try to talk to him soon,” he agrees. His mentor nods. “Now enough chitchat, let’s get back to work.”

___

Shinso stretches his arms out above his head, his muscles ache, and his joints crack. Everything in his body screams for him to go to his dorm and sleep, but he still has something to do. He checks his phone for the time once again. It is almost seven in the evening, he is a little too early, since he stopped in front of the 1-A Alliance right after his training and he did not even bother to bring his bag into his own dorm. Shinso is surprised that you agreed to meet him after all this time, and he is both thankful and relieved that you seem to be open to hear him out. That is what he needs right now, after all.

Even though he is usually calm and collected, Shinso feels his anxiety being on the rise. His heart is beating way too fast and he feels uneasy. He quickly wipes his sweaty palms on his pants. A few deep breaths. One, two, three. His mind spins. Four, five, six. All of the words Shinso has thought of disappear. Seven, eight-

“Hey, Shinso!” You close the door of the 1-A building behind you. You avoid his eyes as you walk toward him, hands in your pockets, shoulders tense. The fact that you called him by his last name hurts but Shinso quickly shakes his head. This is not what he should be thinking about now. “H- hey,” he greets you, trying his best to sound calm. “Do you mind if we walk for a while?”

There is an uncomfortable silence between the two of you and all Shinso can hear are his own and your footsteps on the gravel. You eventually sit down on a bench, a lot of space between you. Shinso stares at his balled fists in his lap, knuckles white and fingernails digging into his palm, trying to sort out his thoughts.

“Why do you want to talk to me?” you question after a while. Shinso sighs deeply. The phrases he has thought of and practiced in the mirror are not coming to his mind again. “I wanted to apologize,” he starts hesitantly, “for what I said to you after the entrance exam.” The scene replays in his mind once again and he shakes his head to push the pictures away. “I was in the wrong and I hurt you. I know that I’m extremely late with my apology, but I was so ashamed of myself for saying those things to you.” In the corner of his eye, Shinso sees you listen to him carefully, a thoughtful look on your face. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I’m sorry, Y/N.” There is so much more he wants to say, he just needs to remember it. It seems like you notice that he is struggling for words, so you wait patiently. So, this is not going terribly, right?

“I saw you at the sports festival,” Shinso finally continues. “And I saw how much you have improved. You will be a great hero, Y/N. I’m happy for you. I’m so, so happy for you.” Was that alright? Shinso has no idea. He finally opens his fists and stretches out his fingers, knuckles regaining colour, but he is sure that his nails left marks on his palms. “What I said was horrible. I’d understand if you’d want me to get lost. I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

“I-” you sound unsure of what to say. “You are right, what you said hurt me a lot, you have no idea how much. But I appreciate that you apologized, Shinso, even though it’s late. And I want to accept your apology.” An incredible weight falls from Shinso’s shoulders. He breathes out deeply and lets the rest of his muscles relax. For a moment, Shinso waits for you to say something else. He does not want to be the first one to speak, and it seems like you do not want to be that person either.

The silence grows more and more uncomfortable. Around you, it is getting colder by the minute and at some point, the lantern above the bench turns on, attracting insects to its cold, dim light. You shiver and stuff your hands in your pockets, Shinso does the same.

“So where do we go from here?” You eventually ask and cause Shinso’s heart to skip a beat. Does that mean you still want him in your life? Does that mean that he can stay friends with you? “That’s up to you,” he answers while suppressing his excitement. “Hm,” you make a thoughtful face. “I definitely don’t want you to ‘get lost’. I would like to try to become friends again. How does that sound?” The softness in your voice almost makes Shinso tear up. “Yeah, I’d love that.” Even with only the dim light from above Shinso can see you smile, and his heart skips a beat. Unable to contain himself from smiling, he quickly turns away.

“I have something else to tell you,” Shinso admits. He grabs is bag and rests it in his lap before opening it. Your curious eyes are watching his every move and cause Shinso’s hands to tremble a little as he pulls his capture weapon and mask out of the bag. “After the sports festival Mister Aizawa reached out to me,” he explains. “I’ll take an exam to determine if I’ll be allowed to switch to the hero course.” Shinso watches as your eyes widen. “We’ll become heroes together after all.”

“Oh Shinso!” You let out a joyful laugh. “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!” A warm feeling spreads through Shinso’s body at your words. He missed your laugh and now that he hears it, it is even more amazing and heart-warming than he remembered it to be. “Thank you.”

You sit there for a while until Shinso notices the time. “We should go back. I don’t want to get my ass beaten by Aizawa.” You agree and walk next to Shinso back to the dorms. The atmosphere is a lot lighter this time. Instead of keeping quiet, you talk about being heroes, about what both of you have been up to in the meantime, and about how you want to rebuild your relationship.

The dorms are in sight and you stop again. You hold out your hand and extent your pinkie. “Promise me to pass the exam? So that we can become heroes together?” Shinso does not need to think about that twice. He links his pinkie with yours, just like he did when you were kids. “I promise.”

[estrel]

Catalysts & Changes: a 15x16 Meta

I wanted to talk really quickly about Dean’s change this season, especially regarding 15x16.

My main focus of this meta is to talk about Mary’s impact on Dean being the catalyst for this change we’ve been seeing, but I’m also going to be mentioning some Cas/destiel things to tie into this. So, here we go:

I. Mary as Catalyst & Myth

Mary is Dean’s reason. By that I mean that literally the whole reason Dean hunts--or, rather, continues to hunt, since John honestly forced it on him--was all in the hopes of catching what killed Mary. That was the main purpose of season 1, other than finding John. This is Dean’s motivation, his basis as a character. 

Dean has also mentioned on multiple occasions that Mary was why he was brave, why he kept fighting, and that he often thought about her. 

Dean: I was scared, too. I didn’t feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom...I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day (1.03 Dead in the Water)

Remember this quote, because I think it’s eerily similar to the one in 15.16 that I’ll talk about later in this post.

This makes sense--she’s his mom, he should be affected in some way about her death. But Dean takes it to the extreme, based his life around it, held on to it for far too long. Sam was different, because he never actually knew Mary, and we know from earlier seasons that their feelings about her are pretty different. 

Meanwhile, almost any time Dean has dreamt of something ideal, Mary was there (think of his djinn dream in 2.20 where Mary never died, and in heaven in 5.16). We can especially see that this is true because of what Amara said in Gimme Shelter:

Dean: What was the point?

Amara: I wanted two things for you, Dean. I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person. That the myth you’d held onto for so long of a better life, a life where she’d lived, was just that: a myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary, was better than your childhood dream because she was real. That now is always better than then. That you could finally start to accept your life. (15.15 Gimme Shelter)

Here, Amara was anticipating a turning point. She had wanted Dean to be “released” by having Mary back, but obviously this didn’t happen. Instead, Mary’s death was once again the catalyst for Dean’s change, just like it was the first time when Azazel killed her. We can also see from this that Dean has always been stuck in the past, hence Amara telling him that he should be focusing on now, instead. Another thing to note for future reference is the “real” line. Remember Cas saying “we are” when Dean asks him what is real.

Mary was also not exactly what Sam or Dean--hell, not even the viewers--had been expecting when she returned. She was scared, alone, and had trouble dealing with being back in a new century with her little boys all grown up and even worse-- hunting. But Dean eventually accepted this. He accepted the real version of Mary, but continued to idolize her and bring up the past.

II. Mary’s Death

Now let’s take a look at what’s happened since Mary’s second death:

Denial. Dean hopes Mary isn’t actually dead, even though all signs point to this.

Grief. Dean cries alone at the site of her death.

Blame. Dean blames Jack and Cas for what happened. 

During and after the funeral, Dean avoids talking about it with anyone. However, he is obviously affected by her death. Sam even holds Cas back from going to Dean while burning the pyre. Bobby makes a comment about Dean being a lot like him and not wanting to show his feelings to others.

These all sound like the Dean that’s been built up since season 1. Not dealing with his feelings properly at all, pushing people away, denial. The one thing that makes this time different from other deaths, though, is that--just like the first time Mary died--there's no body to bring back. It's implied in 14.19 that if there had been, Dean would have tried, because he even tells Sam:

Note: This is also an episode where we see Jack being a mirror for Dean by doing exactly that--doing everything in his power to try to bring Mary back by himself. It doesn’t work; Mary’s gone for good. And she’s happy--she’s in heaven! 

In addition to there not being a body, Dean also knows who did it. It's not some unidentifiable yellow-eyed demon that he can spend years tracking down, it's Jack. It's his son, it's someone he can't and won't kill, because he's family, even if he’s guilty. So Dean has no outlet for his rage except to put blame on not only Jack, but Cas (specifically in 15.03 The Rupture, Jack is dead at this point and he pushes Cas away for several episodes). And here is where Dean begins to change.

III. The Shift: Anger, Apologies, and Forgiveness

Because then, in 15.09 The Trap, there is a big, significant shift. Dean forgives Cas:

Dean: You’re my best friend, but I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. 

He cries, looks around, and gets on his knees.

Dean: I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know-I just know that it’s just always been there. And when things go bad, it just-it comes out. And I can’t- I can’t stop it. No matter how--how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it. And I forgive you, of course I forgive you. I’m sorry it took me so long to...I’m sorry it took me ‘til now to say it.  (15.09 The Trap)

This is an incredibly important scene because it shows that Dean knows about his anger--the anger that Amara talks about in 15x15, and he wants to stop it. 

Amara: I thought having [Mary] back would release you...put that fire out. Your anger. But I guess we both know I failed at that.

Dean: You’re damn right.  (15.15 Gimme Shelter)

After this, Dean clarifies that he’s not only angry, but furious. This is change, this is change caused directly by Mary’s death--by Amara bringing her back again. Dean might say he is furious, but he has also said before that he wants to stop his anger. And, in many ways, he’s been taking steps towards doing that: 

For example, here in 15.09 when Dean forgives Cas, (gif credit)

and here in 15.14 when he tells Jack he’s trying to forgive him for killing Mary, (gif credit)

and again in 15.16 for not telling Sam and Caitlin about the dead bodies when they were younger (gif credit)

and most recently, at the end of 15.16, when he didn’t tell Sam about Jack dying. (gif credit)

So now we’ve taken the turn towards forgiveness. Dean has been handing out apologies and forgiveness like never before this season, which is a definite change to how it used to be with him. He’s opening up, and he is trying to do better and be better than before. Billie also tells him this at the diner:

(gif credit)

I’m inclined here to believe that Dean is on that road to forgiveness with Jack. I mean, he said it himself in 15.14 that he’s trying, and Cas also vouched for him when Jack asked if forgiveness from Dean was a possibility. So in 15.16, when Dean says they have “no choice” but to let Jack die, it’s not because it doesn’t haunt him. It clearly does, with the entire episode dealing with Dean coping with the deaths of children, even his brother. He doesn’t want Jack to die, but his anger, his fury towards Chuck is taking precedence over that. It’s something he wants to change, but feels like he has no choice in the matter.

To add on to this, Jack has been a clear mirror for Dean this entire season. Dean’s argument with Sam about them having no choice is an indication of this. Just an episode prior in 15.15, Jack told Cas that the choice wasn’t his whether or not Jack died. So the pair ups in 15.17 aren’t all that surprising. With the episode being titled “Unity,” I think that the four of them will reach an agreement by the end of the episode (I keep mentioning agreements in all of my metas, because I think Chuck/Amara and Sam/Eileen’s agreement had important implications, but alas...), and be unified in a new plan to defeat Chuck. 

As for Dean? I don’t think his ending is going to be expected. He is changing--he won’t be making the same decisions he used to make in earlier seasons. 

I also find it fascinating that they made 15.16 a flashback episode to their past as children. Not only did 15.16 show us Dean being annoyed by sex, ignoring a possible love interest (which we were right as an audience to assume it would be written that way, because it has been so many times before), and how he’s dealing with the prospect of Jack’s death (with all of the imagery of dead children), but it really brought to light how much Dean has changed. 

The most obvious way they showed us this was through this scene with Caitlin (who looks eerily like a young Mary...interesting), who says this:

(gif credit)

Dean: Always am.

Caitlin: You have changed. The old you never would have admitted that.

Dean: Well, I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Caitlin: I think so. What do they say about getting older? You tell the truth more because lies...they don’t make anything better. (15.16 Drag Me Away (From You)) 

Now, ignoring the fact that Dean has admitted this (in 1.03), we know that the only time he has admitted to being scared before was in relation to Mary. But I think what the writers were going for here was not only to highlight Dean’s recent character growth by admitting to Caitlin that he’s changed, but also the running theme of lying this season. I’ve said it before that Sam has been the only one telling the truth in s15, and I think it’ll eventually come into play during the final episodes. The truth/lies aspect will become a central plot point--I mean, it already is. But I think it’ll factor into how the show will end as a whole, especially with this episode and previous ones alluding to normalcy and the possibility of it for Sam. 

I’m going to finish this here, because I’ve dragged on too long, but some other (destiel) things to note are:

Dean falling to his knees in the hallway as a parallel to falling on his knees in Purgatory, praying to Cas, apologizing.

Dean cutting off Baba Yaga’s fingers, whereas Cas restored a woman’s fingers in 15x15. The pastor telling Cas that people are god’s hands; they lift each other up with each finger. The implications of Dean cutting people off, and Cas bringing people together.

another amazing meta regarding 15.16 and another about dean changing + 15.16

[amphii-writes]

Hihihi!! I was wondering if you could write a second part to your tsuki angst? I really loved it was amazing 🥺👉👈 anything is fine I just wanna see how everything turns out in the end! :))

I totally didn’t say “pogchamp” out loud when I read this, pfft no wrong person. Anyway, your support and suggestion mean so much to me! (and plus I was thinking of making another part to that story, so this ask just made it concrete) also, falling in love with your best friend is either the best or worst thing ever, no cap. It also helps if you know what Tendou’s song, Baki Baki, translates to in English! It helps a lot- at least comprehension wise.

Part one -->here<--

synopsis: After you met a red-haired boy with a mischievous smile, you decided to befriend him. Now, a couple of months later, it's time for Shiratorizawa and Karasuno to fight. genre: angst, fluffy internal monologue warnings: Swearing, toxic friendships, unrequited love, etc. pairing: Tsukishima & Yamaguchi x F!Reader x Tendou  word count: 2.5k

After what happened at the Karasuno volleyball club, you couldn’t seem to get yourself to go back. Whether it be to support them during practice or a game, you just couldn’t deal with the embarrassment, especially after what Tsukishima did to you. Just imagining the pitiful stares and judging gazes made your heart pound. It also didn’t seem to help that Yamaguchi was pissed off at the taller man. His texts were a punch of rambling rants about how he felt about what happened and how he wished he could’ve stopped both of you from getting hurt. He was always looking out for both of you behind the scenes, a true sweetheart, at least if he didn’t pick up some of Tsukishima’s personality on the way.

On the other hand, the Shiratorizawa team was warm and welcoming as always. They never barged into your business and helped you with learning the ropes: you basically became their cheerleader. When it was finally the game against Karasuno; you decided not just to support your school, but the goofy red-head you met on the street.

Making your way to where the Miyagi prefectural qualifiers were held. The stadium-like building towering just over some of the buildings, with teams heading inside left and right. Mixes of blue, pink, mint green, and the four colors you were looking for: black and orange, then white and purple. You of course spouted some Karasuno merch as you walked over to the team of gentle giants. The first person to notice you were Goshiki. He yelled your name, waved, and then ran up to greet you properly.

“Y/N! Hey! I’m so glad you could make it! We all appreciate you coming- oh and Tendou said-” “Goshiki? What did I say, huh?” the tall male interjected, slumping down to meet your eyes with a smile on his face. “Well,” he stammered, “You said that we’d beat Karasuno! You said that if you saw the tall blonde guy that you’d-” “okay okay Goshiki, calm down! We don’t want our future ace to be too pumped up for the match, do we?” Tendou immediately looked at you “can’t have our guest not see your potential, isn’t that right, Y/N?” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Of course, Tendou does have a point Gohsiki, but thank you for welcoming me!” you smiled brightly at the tall boy “I’ll be over there in a second, go catch up with your team.” and with that, Goshiki ran over to Ushijima and the rest of his team.

“So Tendou, what did you say you’d do to Tsukishima?” you inquired, although a bit mischievously. “Well, I just said I’d taunt him a little bit, nothing wrong with that, right?” he shrugged, “It’s not like I don’t taunt the opposing team a bit anyways, but that Tsukishima kid...” he grumbled, “Makes me wanna play a bit dirty.” “Tendou, you won't have to do that. You're already a wonderful player! Forget about him and make sure that your team wins. Please: don’t get caught up in my business,” You smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

Tendou at this point was enamored by you, how you spoke to him, treated him with respect, and just how sweet you were to him and the team. Sometimes, he would admit that he was jealous of Goshiki due to how often the black-haired boy would steal your attention. He honestly just wanted to see you happy, and when he’d think about what Tsukishima said to you, he’d lose his cool. He honestly had only seen the setter and a short ginger-haired blocker from Karasuno, so he’d never seen Tsukishima before, but from what you’d described, he was tall, blonde, had glasses, and a complete asshole. He knew that once he found out his number he’d make sure that Tsukishima would suffer.

After the first night he met you, he ranted to his team about how horrible that kid must’ve been, who would make a girl cry on purpose? That's absolutely insane! Tendou had accidentally made girls cry due to his looks when he was younger but he never tried to scare them. Tsukishima reminded him of his bullies when he was younger, trying to put everyone down, trying to hurt innocent people, and that made him so much angrier. He didn’t want you to be hurt, he wanted to save you from what he went through.

On the other side of the story was Tsukishima. He hadn’t heard anything from you for a while. He would honestly stick knives in his eyes before ever admitting to the fact that he’s worried about you. Even Yamaguchi called him out on how mean he was, and Tsukishima snapped under the pressure, he opened up to Yamaguchi about his feelings for you and how he wanted them to go away. He knew you didn’t have feelings for him, so why would he confess? To ruin the friendship? He just decided to ignore his feelings, and that meant ignoring you.

With this new information, Yamaguchi saw that you were in quite the love-related mess. Tsukishima and his pride wouldn’t allow himself to be seen as weak to anyone, while Tendou saw Tsukishima as the enemy. Yamaguchi wouldn’t be lying to say that he also had a small crush on you. He never mentioned it, but it wasn’t as big as Tendou’s or Tsuki’s so he just stood by. Yes, he felt a little sad about it but he just wanted his two friends to be happy- and it’s not like Yamaguchi didn’t also have a crush on Yachi. He saw himself as the last resort, and so he’d try his best to have both of his friends at least make up.

You, of course, had to go see your best friend Yamaguchi before the game! even if that meant having to see Tsukishima again, you’d just ignore him. You’ve accepted that he wasn’t going to change for just anybody and that you already had better friends than him, so what’s the point of going back to him?

You were greeted with a surprised Yamaguchi, you could’ve sword his eyes blew up to the size of saucers when he saw you. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if you’d come to this game- he knew you exactly didn’t have a gracious exit after Tsukishima had yelled at you. But, even then, he couldn’t contain his excitement or his voice when he saw you.

“Y/N! You actually came? I’m so glad to see you!” Yamaguchi smiled brightly, he didn’t even have the words to express how happy he was! He was practically beaming at you. “Of course, Yamaguchi! I couldn’t just miss one of the most important games of your season? What kind of friend would I be?” His smile lightly faltered at the sound of you saying “friend” but that didn’t matter! You were here and he needed to make sure he impressed not only you: but his team!

At the sound of your name, of course, the entire Karasuno team whipped their heads around. Their collective thoughts were: “Y/N? Isn’t that the girl who Tsukishima yelled at?” “That poor girl, I’m glad she’s feeling better.” “That pretty girl who gave Tsukishima a plushie?” “The girl that Hinata wouldn’t shut up about for a week?” “The nice girl who gave the team food?” “The pretty girl who gave us food!” and Tsukishima’s thought, “fuck.”

After the team had talked to you well, everyone but Tsukishima you decided to see the Shiratorizawa team again, mostly to say that everything went okay and to remind Tendou not to taunt Karasuno too harshly.

“Hello, Y/N. I’m glad to see you’re cheering for us during the tournament. The team seems very happy to see you, and I am as well.” The booming voice of the one and only Ushijima Wakatoshi making you squeak a bit. Of course, hearing his best friend’s voice greeting you also brought Tendou walking over. “Ah, Thank you Ushijima, it means a lot! I really wanna support you all before your game.”

“Hey! It’s awesome to see ya back? Didn’t you talk to Karasuno? “ He tilted his head and wrapped an arm around you “How'd that go, Miracle-girl?” Of course, he expected your response of: "It went pretty well, I ignored Tsukishima and he ignored me. The team was super nice to me though!"

Tendou was honesty glad you ignored him; but, he didn't give you an apology? He had the perfect time to redeem himself, not only you: but himself, and to Tendou. Now, with this information, he isn't backing down from his plan.

...

It was now mid-game, Shiratorizawa and Karasuno seemed to be on the same level. You were gripping the edge of your seat, torn on who to cheer for. You saw Tsukishima and Tendou right across from each other, the only thing operating them was the thick tension; and of course, the net.

You could practically see the faux smile on Tendou’s face; and before you knew it, he was mocking Tsukishima. “Well, if it isn’t ‘Mr. Vanilla’! Glad to see you’re still on your heartbreak streak!” Tsukishima scowled in response, what is this guy saying? What did he mean? “What are you going on about?” the rude response just meant that Tendou had found the right guy! “Oh, you can’t forget about how you made my Miracle-Girl cry, I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.” The whole court went cold, either with frustration or shame.

Tendou knew how to push buttons, how to make a team crumble at the knees with just a few choice words, and after what this tall asshole did to you, he’d make sure to throw hard verbal punches. He wasn’t going to leave his best friend out of this, he didn’t exactly defend you at all! He just let Tsukishima do whatever he liked to both him and you, Tendou was doing this for the greater good: you.

...

After the game, Shiratorizawa was heartbroken, they lost to the underdog team, so who wouldn’t be upset because of this. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want them to win; they were so nice to you, but this is what they get for underestimating the power of Karasuno.

On the other side of the court, Karasuno was losing their shit. They’ve never been able to go to nationals for the past couple of years, so this means that they finally get to redeem themselves in the eyes of the public!

But for you, this meant dealing with opposite spectrums of emotions from both teams. You decided to go see Tendou first, you could only imagine how he felt. “Tendou, Ushijima, are you okay? I’m worried about you two especially.” you looked up at the two to see their hanging heads, the blank stare coming from Ushijima was absolutely terrifying. He didn’t respond, he just stood there, frozen. Seeing this, you decided that you didn’t want to accidentally anger him and looked to Tendou; he was crying. 

You grabbed him and hugged him, he fell in your arms and just cried for a bit. You rubbed his back as he let out choked sobs, whispering that he was amazing on the court and that he was a winner in your eyes. He looked up at you, eyes puffy and irritated, “You really are my paradise, aren’t you?” he chuckled sadly and took your hands in his. “You have no idea what you mean to me, what your words mean to me... I wish there was a better time to say this but fuck it,” he sighed, “I love you, not in a friendly way, but it’s become more than that. I see you every day, yet I can’t get you outta my head... I remember that day when you were crying on the street, that’s when I fell for you.” He looked back down to our connected hands and rubbed the back of your palms. 

With his words, you hugged him harder and even started crying, now he was the one rubbing your back whispering sweet words into your ears. You thankfully managed to babble a couple “yes”s after. His warm smile to you made your worries leave your side. He was your miracle boy, after all, is said and done.

...

On the other side of the gym; witnessing this display was Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, obviously torn:

 Yamaguchi was happy that you were happy, but of course the tang of pain in his own heart longed for you to hold him like that.

While Tsukishima was pissed; who was this guy? Why was he treating you like his girlfriend? Was he your boyfriend? Is that what he meant on the court? Either way, he was seeing his heart break right before his eyes.

The two boys watched as you hugged him, his eyes lighting up to meet your face.

...

“Paradise, can I kiss you please?” he was looking straight into your eyes, his seemed to be less red and puffy, and now energetic and happy. “Tendou, please let me wipe my face off, I’m kinda gross-” he responded with taking out a small pack of tissues and wiping your face off for you, your giggles resonating in the hard walls of the stadium. “There, my Miracle Girl; back to what I said earlier...” of course he’d get nervous after thinking about what he said, so you just cut off the silence with “I’m waiting, Satori.” That was all he needed to kiss you; his left hand holding your cheek as his right was resting in your hair. His lips were chapped yet sweet. You both melted in the kiss, breaking it to breathe, resting your heads on each other. “Satori, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, my paradise.”

...

After seeing the display of love, Tsukishima left. He didn’t have time to ponder about how your warm hand would feel in his hair, your soft lips on his, he didn’t have time for love. He didn’t like it, the feeling of heartbreak. If he didn’t fall in love with you, he could’ve avoided the stress of seeing you happy with that bastard.

Yamaguchi stayed, seeing that Tsukishima needed some time alone. He was so happy for you! But like always, a part of him would wonder how it’d feel if your hand squeezed him, or your warm lips kissing him on the cheek each morning. He was happy, he swears he isn’t lying to himself.

[newobsessionweekly]

Behind the scenes 🌿

@ecmoab said: “Hey, i Hope you are taking requests. I was wondering if you could write more Aron imagine maybe with y/n being part of elite cast with of behind the scene or interview. “

a/n: I hope it’s alright and you like it! Enjoy and stay safe everyone! Lots of love!! 🌿❤️ word count: 1.445

Arón Piper x reader 🌿

The filming was finally over and the last day on set literally made everyone cry. It was so beautiful to work with so many amazing people and they are like a family to you. Spending almost a year filming, laughing and crying beside them made you finally belong somewhere. You watched the first seasons and loved all the characters, but when you entered in the Élite family so many things have changed. Starting with the plot and ending with the cast. Ander, Omar, Rebeka, Samu and Guzmán remained in the scenario because they have an important liaison role to tie the stories. You were happy because since the first episode of the first season you adored Arón’s character and you wished his story to go on. 

“Okay guys, we have a shooting programmed Friday and Monday an interview for Cosmopolitan España. I want everyone there on time for the hair, make up and changing, alright?”

You all nodded from your seats. It was the last time you could do that and all the emotions leaked into the tears you hardly managed to keep from falling.

“Alright. All of you did an amazing job, thank you so much. You are indeed very talented and I can’t wait to work with you again in the future.” the director said and hugged all of you.

That was the moment you cracked and let those tears run down your cheeks. You hugged each and every one of them. Miguel helped you so much through this year and created somehow a bonding. From Omar you learned so many things like how to balance the life on and off the screen and how to switch off quickly to made into the character with no problems. Omar is the funny one of the group and made your days on set a lot easier. And Arón is literally the best. He was there when you needed to laugh or to cry. He was there helping you reach any moods and always there when you needed someone for literally anything. Arón is your best friend and you could say he is  the one you connect with the most. He’s not a sentimental one, he is not going to burst into tears because he has been through this many times, but this time it’s different for him. Not only him was there for you, but you were also by his side more than you thought. He is hoping it’s not the and and he would be able to see you in the future. “Hey beautiful, there’s no need to cry!” Arón hugged you even tighter and that was all you needed. There are not teares caused by the sadness, more like happiness because you helped this amazing people finish such a beautiful project. “Lo siento!” you broke off from the hug as you heard your phone ringing. You smiled at the view of the contact and answered quickly.  “Feliz cumpleaños, cariño! Te quiero mucho!” the voice of your mother made you smile as you exited the building, but frozed at the image in front of your eyes. “Gracias, mama! Yo también te quiero mucho, pero tengo que ir!” as soon as you ended the call, the cast sang “Feliz cumpleaños” to you, along with the Mariachi. You heard Arón singing next to you then felt his hand going up and down on your back. Itzan approached with a cake in his hands with your name and candles on it. You stood there shocked and smiling like dumb. You haven’t told anyone it’s your birthday, you didn’t like surprises at all but you enjoyed that moment. ------- The Monday morning found you still hungover trying to recover from the night before. Your head hurts like hell, you still have this horrible feeling that you are going to threw up in any moment and your eyes burned so bad but you needed to keep them opened.

Almost fell asleep on the chair while the hairdresser was playing with your hair, and despite the make-up artist made you look like spick and span, you still couldn’t manage to feel acceptable. The party ended around four in the morning and until you got home, it remained only three hours left for sleep. “You look like you’ve been hit by the truck.” Arón entered the trailer and sat down on the chair next to you while the make-up artist made him look alive as well. He has his eyes hidden behind the black glasses, but you could tell he just have woken up because of his hoarse voice. You laughed, “I’m surprised you could got up from bed after how much you drank last night.” “What can I say, (y/n)? It was a successful party, but I’m a serious man and I would never be late somewhere.” he laughed and waited for you.  It was indeed a successful party, you had so much fun. You celebrated your party at some club in the centrr of Madrid where everyone danced all night, alcohol was pouring almost without stopping and no one wanted to leave. These people gave you so much more that their friendship, they gave you some unforgettable moments.  He laughed as you opened the door from the trail, “Well the beast it’s gone. Welcome back, beauty!” “You don’t look either like you were drunk as a fiddler a few hours ago!” you smiled and let a sigh out. “What’s wrong?” “It’s my first interview and I’m scared as hell.” you let your head down embarrassed. “Hey, don’t worry.” you only picked up your head at the sight of a pair of Vans. He embraced you with all his warmth. “ It’s just like a test, alright? But one you didn’t have to study for because you already know the subject.”

It felt so good staying in his arms, with your head on his chest, here between the trails. The sun above warmed a little bit more the atmosphere and you could hear the other chattering not far from here. “Yeah, but I’m so lame at tests.”

“Ok, let’s think otherwise.” He rubbed your back. He knows that this is the easiest way you’d calm down. “Imagine it as someone asking questions because they want to know more about you. Like a date, you know?”

“I’ve never been on a date before”, you admitted.

He laughed, “Really? With what kind of blind and stupid men did you spend your time?”

You felt embarrassed. Was he just laughing in your face right now? You tried to get out of the embrace, but he wouldn’t let you.

“Wait, don’t pull away... not yet.” You distanced a little so you could look at him, but still remaining in his arms, “What happened?” “No, nothing happened, I just...I can’t talk or think properly when I look into your eyes. “ he laughed nervously. “You are the most beautiful, kind, smart person I have ever encountered. “ “Wait are you flirting with me right now?” “No, definetely not.” he has the most memorable manner of showing sarcasm. It was so natural like he was born with it. “ But last night I was too drunk and I didn’t said or done much. But you are damn beautiful and that guy is so puta suerto.”

“What are you talking about?” you shook your head. “What guy?”

“The one you danced almost all night.” you couldn’t stop yourself from admiring his face, his eyes, his lips. Everything is perfect at his man.

You laughed at how sweet he is, “That’s my brother, tonto!”

His face changed when he realised and stared at your lips for a little, “Well, I guess he wouldn’t mind If I would kiss you right now.”

“He wouldn’t, but what about me?” you like to play with him.

“Oh, amor, I know you wanted to kiss me for a long time. Your body betrayed you.”

He didn’t get you any chance for a response and attacked your lips in the sweetest way. You kissed him back with as much passion as he did and couldn’t hold a big smile when you both pulled away because of the lack of air. The second time you kissed him, but someone interrupted it.

“Guys, we are next in five!” Omar showed up to the trails, concerned about your disappearing. Or maybe your never appearing. “Oh, you’ve been busy, I see.” He winked at you, but closed the distance, coming between the two of you and resting his arms on your shoulders. “You can continue this later, but now we have an interview to do!” he made you laugh and roll your eyes at the same time.

[writingwithadinosaur]

“Under the Knife” - Part 7

“Under the Knife” - Part 7

Main Masterlist - Here

Story Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Hannibal Lecter x Reader, Will Graham x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 2,100-ish

Key: Chunks of text in italics are (Y/N)’s thoughts. Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, Violence

Summary: You are Will Graham’s sister who works with him at the FBI. When you get offered a job promotion, life starts to change. Some changes for the better; Some for the worst.

Author’s Note: This is my first Hannibal piece and I am proud of it. There aren’t too many stories for Hannibal, so I figured I would add to the collection.

This does take place in some happy medium where they are all alive and work together. Sort of a happier season 1 era.

This is beta-read by @theeactress​, but please let me know if there is something that we missed or that we should look at again! 

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

Tag List

:

@fruitloopzzz

@theeactress

@melconnor2007

@ashenfallsof

@geeksareunique

@all-by-myself98

@sj-thefan

​

@fuck-your-bad-vibes-dude

​

@ntlmundy

​

@a-person-unlabled

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack was in the middle of a phone call when you opened his office door unannounced. He gave you an annoyed look until he saw something in your eyes that said that this was important. When he looked to Hannibal, who was behind you, he nodded slightly, letting Jack know that this was for sure something urgent. 

“I’m going to have to call you back.” He calmly said before putting the handset back onto the office phone base. “What did yo-”

“I think I finally got into this guy’s brain!” Jack gives you an expectant look.

“Well?! Go on then!” You take a quick breath in as you speak, making your way to one of the chairs in front of Jack’s desk. Hannibal stood off to your right slightly.

“Okay. So, we’ve been looking for a doctor this entire time, right?”

“Yes, we have.” There was obvious hesitation in his voice, worried that you would just widen the suspect list instead of narrowing it down. You continued.

“Right. But what if our killer was actually a patient of these doctors?” 

You watched Jack quickly think it over, preparing for exactly what you thought he’d point out. You pulled out a couple of print-outs from within your notebook and waited for Jack to speak. Hannibal peeked over your shoulder at the paper and read a little bit of the top page while Jack spoke.

“It would tie the doctors together, but it wouldn’t explain the method of killing.”

“It does if this patient was a former doctor himself. A plastic surgeon to be more specific.” You hand Jack the papers, letting out a breath that you hadn’t realized you were holding. 

The papers were from the initial suspect list you had gotten. You now had one person’s name and photo circled: Henry Urik. The second page was the basic information you had gotten on him early into the investigation. 

“Name: Henry Urik Age: 29 Height: 5’11” Weight (Approx.): 205lbs Hair Color: Reddish Brown Ethnicity: White Male Employment: Plastic Surgeon - Inactive”

As Jack read over the papers, you felt yourself slipping into your mental pictures. You found that missing puzzle piece that brought everything together. You could now see it all, feel what he was feeling, and truly attempt to get into his mind. Jack looked up and saw you seemingly phase-out, but he had seen something similar when your brother, Will, would be at crime scenes. He and Hannibal stayed quiet and let you do your thing.

 “Dr. Henry Urik started up his own practice relatively recently, but it failed. Probably due to some sexual allegations or misconduct or something. He popped up on the first few rounds of searches that I did, but then I saw that he wasn’t associated with any active practices or facilities, so I took him off the list. 

He lost his job, which means he is anxious and stressed, which then potentially and likely leads to a range of psychosomatic ailments; soreness, fatigue, insomnia, and most importantly, headaches. After long enough, frequent or maybe even constant headaches would drive anyone mad. Which is why Henry decides to finally go to his primary care physician: Dr. Everet. I’m sure if we get a warrant and pull a list of all of the patients that have seen our victims over the last 2 - 4 months, we will find Henry’s name on each of them.”

“That’s not a long time to plan out 4, or potentially more, murders.” Jack points out, seeing you come back to reality. 

“I don’t think these killings were really thought about or planned to every detail. He didn’t want to just kill them out of anger; that was for whoever else was in the house. He was angry and upset, but we can see that he took his time with the doctors. Maybe focusing on them and using his old medical instruments was a form of relief for him?”

“What kind of relief are we talking about here, Graham?”

“By shifting his focus from himself and his ailments, he’s distracting himself from his anxieties and stressors. Thus seeming to make his headaches dwindle.” 

“In other words, pain relief?” You and Hannibal nod in agreement. Jack continues. “Okay, but what makes him so upset that he goes out and murders four doctors and their wives?”

“We’d have to double-check with the notes in his files from each doctor, but I can bet that he wasn’t happy with whatever test results or diagnoses they were giving him.” Before Jack could say anything, Hannibal finally spoke.

“I believe I can confirm that theory.” Both you and Jack turned to Hannibal with confused looks over your faces.

“Is there something you’d like to share with the class, Dr. Lecter?” Crawford had a hint of annoyance in his tone but kept it mostly neutral. You, on the other hand, were trying to look into his mask and see if he was being serious. As far as you could tell, he was.

“Dr. Urik was a patient of mine. I say ‘was’ because I only ever had two sessions with the man. He was referred to me by Dr. Everet. He showed signs of incredible anxiety over the idea of not being able to be in his profession after a patient accused him of sexual harassment during one of their appointments. He also showed signs that could be tied to bipolar disorder or something more severe. Unfortunately, I couldn’t form a full diagnosis after only those two sessions. I haven’t heard from him in roughly 4 months.”

“Which all lines up with (Y/N)’s profile.” Hannibal nodded.

“I tried to explain the possibility of his headaches being a manifestation of his anxiety, but he did not like that answer. Saying that it must be something tangible; something he could fix with medicine or a procedure.”

“Well, that explains why you are potentially his next target.” You spoke your thoughts out loud, which came out slightly snarky. 

Hannibal turned his attention to you. You were slightly staring off. To anyone else, it would look like you were zoning out, but Hannibal knew that it was a sign of your mind working hard.  

Somehow hearing that Hannibal had a possible solid connection to the killer, a wave of fear hit your heart. You cared about Hannibal, and you knew he cared about you. You weren’t sure he could tell, but one could say you had grown to love this man. And it only took being threatened by a serial killer to let that thought process in your mind.

“So it seems.” 

“Aren’t you glad you joined the case now, Dr. Lecter?” You poked fun at Hannibal, the sharpness in your voice only evident to him. You thought you hid your true feelings well enough, but Hannibal could see right through your facade. He knew you were scared. Not only for his well being but your own as well; using humor as a way to make the situation seem a little less harsh.

Before Hannibal could respond, Jack posed a question.

 “It doesn’t explain you, (Y/N). Why does this guy want to get to you?” You all pause for a beat. You try to get into Henry’s mindset and see any possible reason as to why you would also be targeted.

“I don’t think there is a reason. Maybe he read the TattleCrime article, saw that I was with Dr. Lecter, and then associated me with him. Or maybe he is following us and knows that I have a role in his case. Whether that means I am actually important to Urik or not, I can’t say for certain. He could just see me similarly to the wives of the other doctors. We won’t know for sure until we can ask him.”

As Crawford makes some decisions in his head, you can’t help but start to twist your ring. The idea of yours and Hannibal’s lives being in danger was a terrifying thought. You didn’t know what you would do if something happened to him and he wasn’t a part of your life anymore. Yes, there was still a ghost of confusion and uncertainty with him at the moment, but that was pushed to the backseat after today’s findings.

You looked away from Jack for a quick second to see if Hannibal showed any signs that he was scared. Much to your surprise, he was not only already looking at you, but through his stoic face, his eyes showed something. You looked away as you heard Jack lean forward in his chair, but you couldn’t figure out what that emotion in Hannibal’s eyes was.

After what seemed like forever, Crawford explained his plan of action.

“Alright, I’m going to get started on getting those files and getting a team out in the field looking for this guy. You two are going to have an armed agent following you until we get Henry in custody. They will be hidden, but know that you two will be protected.” You let out a small sigh of relief. “After you compile all of your notes and initial thoughts on Urik, have them sent to me. Then you two are dismissed for the night. Go get a drink or two. We are going to finally catch this son of a bitch.” 

You nod and start to stand up to head to the door. Before you could step away from his desk, Jack got your attention.

“Graham.” 

“Yes, sir?”

“Good work.” You couldn’t hide the proud smile that you tried to smother off your face as you said a quick “Thank you, sir” and made your way out of his office, Hannibal behind you.

Hannibal escorts you back to your office. Once you get inside, you and Hannibal spend a solid 20 minutes working out every detail that you could about Henry Urik. You quickly type it all out and send it through to Crawford’s email.

“Alright. Everything is sent and I am ready for a glass of wine and then passing out for the night for some much-needed sleep.” You started to get your bag together as Hannibal sat in one of the office chairs and watched you, trying to get you to be comfortable with him again. 

“A well-deserved rest, my dear. You did incredible work today.” You quickly looked up to see him staring at you, a rare smile crossing his face as you two briefly made eye contact. You tried to hide the small blush that you felt creeping its way onto your face. 

Hannibal didn’t smile often, and when he did around you, it always made your heart flutter. Getting to see that rare treat and have him compliment you on your work was an unexpected but appreciated way to end the day.

You let out a small “thank you” as you gathered the last of your things. Hannibal stood up and grabbed your coat from the back of your chair. He offered it out for you to slide into, but you didn’t want to wear it, so you took it from him and draped it over your arm. Another small thank you and you two were out the door, headed to your car. After being called out by your killer, Hannibal felt a bigger need to make sure you got to your car safely, even if you were going to have a guard watching you from afar.

He opened the car door, but before you could sit down, he finally asked what had been circling in his mind for the last 30 minutes. 

“Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow? I understand that you have your reservations about talking to me recently, but now that you have done a marvelous job at putting a name to the Virginia Scalpel, I wonder if now would be a good time to try to talk personally. Perhaps even get back to how things were before this case.”

You stood there, the car door being a physical barrier between you and Hannibal. You instinctually fiddled with your ring, mulling over his offer. You can’t help but feel your heart hurt at the lack of time you’ve had with Hannibal. Letting yourself have time to just focus and work on the case over the last week was beneficial. You could now think about more personal things clearly and see that you weren’t as upset with Hannibal as you had been.

You look back up at him and see him observing you, trying to figure out what was going on in that wonderful mind of yours. A small smile grew on your face as you finally spoke.

“What’s for dinner, Hannibal?”

[suckerfordylansstuff]

New Journey (S.H.) Prologue Season 2

Pairing: Steve Harrington x henderson!reader

Summary: Y/n Henderson joins her brother’s little adventure and makes a new friend on the way.

Warnings: swearing

Notes: tell me your opinion on this chapter. If you wanna be tagged just comment and also english is not my native language. Enjoy!

Not requested 

Also gif not mine

~ New Journey Masterlist >> Chapter 1 

“Hey, Steve! Steve, wait up! ”

A year has passed since the whole upside down thing and fortunately your life is still pretty much the same. You were doing great in classes, you still hang out with your friends and your family was stronger than ever. You were extremely glad that your brother and you of course, but manly him, made it out alright after those Demogorgons came around. You were both now safe, but the memories still haunted you.

He just missed Eleven a lot. And you can’t blame him. That girl had an impact on you too. You just felt like you had to protect her, but you failed. You weren’t there when she disappeared, you were with the quite weird trio. Well four with you too. Jonathan, Nancy and Steve. Jonathan had told you everything that was happening from the day Will went missing, since you two were best friends because of your connection from your brothers. You were devistated. You loved that kid with your whole heart and when weird things started happening you were more than willing to help. Nancy came along too and after the events you grew even closer with her.

One thing tho changed. Your opinion in Steve Harrington.

After he decided to actually come back and help (and save your life from the terrifying creature) you saw him in a different light. You weren’t friends. No. More like acquaintances with shared drama. You two just gave small smiles while passing each other and had little chit chats whenever you were both waiting for Nancy to exit school. And to your surprise you realized that he was actually a decent guy, once he had left that awful little group of his.

But now, you really could not believe that you were running after “King Steve” to see if he was ok. Well.. former King. Now that Billy guy had taken over High School. Ugh Billy. If you thought that Steve was an asshole, Billy was 10 times more of a douche than him. He was a jerk that just wanted to show off, bang girls and be an idiot. Tonight at the party he had tried to hit on you too, but he failed miserably, since you didn’t take this kind of crap. He was actually ready to hit his “second chance” with you when a troubled Steve came running from upstairs and directly out.

You were with Jonathan at the time and when he pumped shoulders with him, he made eye contact with you and you were able to see the state he was in, but he didn’t stop. Even when you grabbed his hand he didn’t stop. But now that you were trying to catch him and were yelling his name, he did.

“ What?” he simply said when he turned around, head low so you wouldn’t be able to see the tears in his face. But you already had.

After quickly catching up to him -‘damn high heels’ you thought. You were dressed as Sandy from the movie Grease and of course your outfit had to be from the scene of the best song from the whole thing- you started questioning him “ Steve.. What’s wrong? What happened?”

“ Nothing you need to worry about..” he said coldly and started walking away from you, but you couldn’t just leave him. So you walked up to him to stop him from getting any further away.

“ Steve. Something is crearly wrong. Please tell me what happened, maybe I can help.” you told him as sweetly as you could.

“ Yeah.. Like you care, Henderson. Just go, I don’t need your pity.” Steve told you and made his way around you to leave once again. But you did want to help. You did care. Even if it felt weird that you wanted to make him feel better, you did.

You were ready to call his infamous name again when he stopped, sighed and turned to look at you. Only then were you actually able to see the hurt look in his eyes and you started to connect all the dots together “Did you know?” was his simple question, but you knew what he meant.

You had seen the scene that occurred between him and Nancy earlier, he was just fine when he took her upstairs, but then he left the house like a hot mess. And Nancy was very drunk. So much that she may not have been able to control what she was doing.. Or saying.

“Yes, I did..” you answered, but continued when his face fell much further than it already was, if that was possible “But she didn’t tell me. I just.. I just figured, you know? You looked at her the way she looked at someone else..”

'Why did I continue?’ You questioned to yourself. What you just said did not make something better. Most likely made it worse. You just did not seem to stop talking when you needed to.

“ Was I so.. so oblivious?” he said quietly more to himself than you and sat down at the pavement. You followed his actions and sat next to him, as a way to try and comfort him the best way you could.

“ It could happen to anyone..? ” you said slowly not sure what was the right thing to tell him right now. He chuckled. Not what you had expected him to do.

“ Y/N, you.. You really don’t have to pretend like you need to make me feel better. Don’t try.” he sniffed and run his hands through his hair and like magic it stayed the same way.

You stayed silent trying to think of the right words to say to make him understand that you did want to be here. You just couldn’t. Your mind was blank, the only thing in it was the sad expression the messed boy has beside you.

You both stayed silent until he spoke again “Just go.. Don’t waste your time with me..” and you finally were able to think again.

Even if Nancy was your dear friend you had to admit that she surely did a number on him. He didn’t deserve it. He truly loved her and his heart was crushed in seconds in the most terrible place and moment ever. And then you realized that you were angry. You were angry with how Nancy made him feel. You knew that she shouldn’t be in a relationship were she doesn’t have to offer something to the other person, but she couldn’t just blurt it out like that.

“ No.” you replied after several seconds.

Steve looked up to you with disbelief in his eyes surely not waiting for that answer. He was sure that you would leave. Like everybody seems to do.

“I’m not leaving. You clearly need someone right now and I’m gonna be here for you. You’re hurt Steve and that’s okay.. But, what Nancy did.. It’s not. No one should find out something like that like this. And no one should be alone after it, so I’m gonna stick here with you and you can’t do anything about it. And you don’t have to talk. I mean- if you want to you can, but if you don’t feel like it, it’s okay. We can just.. Just enjoy each other’s company.” you finished with a smile and turned your head looking forward missing his surprised and glad expression on his face.

He did want someone there. He did not admit it, but he was happy you stayed. He was always fond of you, especially after that crazy night at the Byers’ house, but he was afraid to get to know you better cause he thought you disliked him. Guess he was wrong.

After some minutes in pure silence he spoke up “You need a ride home?” he looked at you. He seemed better, hurt but better than before. His tears had dried but his eyes were still red.

“No, Jonathan brought me here and I don’t want him to be concerned about where I am.” you answered with a small smile.

“ Well.. Seeing that he is now busy with taking a drunk Nancy in his car, I don’t think that he remembers he owes you a ride.” he finished pointing on your left.

You turned and indeed saw Jonathan getting, with a little difficulty, Nancy into his car and driving away. He didn’t seem to remember that you were there too. You sighed and cursed under your breath.

“ So.. You rethinking my offer now?” Steve said getting up and looking at you down.

“ If you don’t mind I’d appreciate it.” you said after getting up too.

“ My car is that way” he replied and started walking with you behind his track. You got in the car and started driving. You didn’t really talk, but neither of you minded. You just needed to relax and that was easy to do with Queen songs quietly playing, the wind softly hitting your faces and the nice silence.

After about 10 minutes he pulled up to your house “ We’re here” he said and turned to look at you, not meeting your eyes

“ Thanks.” you answered softly “ Have a good night. ” you continued and got out of the car, but you were able to to hear him say “Wish I could.”

You really wanted to make everything better, but that was something he had to work with himself too, but you still were worried. So you just stopped and bend down to look at him through the open window in his driver’s seat.

“ You sure gonna be OK?” you asked looking at him like he was fragile.

“ Yeah, Henderson.. Don’t worry about me, I’ll do just fine.” he responded with a small smile on his face that definitely did not reach his eyes.

His eyes.

So red and so hurt. The warm brown was now cold and no life was in them. Like you said you weren’t friends, but for some reason it hurt you and made you mad to see him like this. Finally you genuinely smiled at him and said that if he ever wanted to talk to someone you would be happy to listen. He thanked you and then left.

You watched him disappear into the cold night and when he was out of sight, you turned and headed for your house. And to your suprise your brother was looking at the garbage. A year ago that you have weirded you out, but you were used to weird stuff by now.

“Watcha lookin there, little man?” you said a bit louder than you had entended to and that made Dustin jump from fear and curse under his breath.

“Jesus.. Y/N, don’t scare me like that.” he told you and returned to looking at the bin.

“Hey, what’s so interesting in there?” you walked up to him curiously.

“I would answer you if I could.” he answered and you pushed him softly away to take a look. A look you would regret later.

[charliejrogers]

Klaus (2019) Review & Analysis

I remember recently discussing with my fiancée how, though there have undoubtedly been a number of Christmas movies released in the last twenty years, none have really risen to the level of a “classic” – something you would want to watch every year as part of a tradition. It’s true I have not seen it, but still something tells me that 2008’s Reese Witherspoon vehicle Four Christmases is not on anyone’s annual watchlist… nor 2017’s Mel Gibson-infested Daddy’s Home 2. We concluded that the last “classic” was 2003’s Elf. And, while Christmas movies don’t have to mention Jesus or religion obviously, please don’t try to tell me that Frozen is a Christmas movie… it’s not! In some ways, given how secular things are, I began to wonder if there even was a market for holiday family fun movies, but of course, I’m an idiot because you can just make a whole movie about Santa Claus. Move over, Jesus, we gotta talk about the reason for the season!

Klaus released last holiday season on Netflix and at least in Chicago I saw billboards for it everywhere. Netflix went all in on promoting this as the next big Christmas movie and had some moderate success; they even grabbed an Oscar nom for best animated picture. Unlike most animated films these days, Klaus was made by neither DreamWorks nor Disney, and it shows. It lacks the refined polish of a Disney/Pixar feature, but also has a heart unlike a DreamWorks picture. The animation style can be best described as a hybrid of 2D and 3D (yet not quite 2.5D). At times the character models look like classic hand-drawn 2D models set within a mostly computer-generated 3D environment. But at other times, they look more 3D. It’s confusing to describe, and inconsistent to watch. It often felt like I was watching a compromise between a studio that wanted a distinct animation style but didn’t have the budget to fully realize it. Still, more often the not it’s a pretty movie.

More than the raw visuals, the movie has a fantastic sense of atmosphere… perhaps even too much at the beginning. Klaus is, in one sense, the story about how a lonely woodsman becomes the legendary Santa Claus, but for such a jolly premise, much of the film is shrouded in shadows and dominated by an oppressive, cold, snowy bleakness. In retrospect, this makes sense as the true triumph of Santa and “Christmas spirit” can only be best appreciated when it brings light to the darkest of places and times. Still, upon first viewing, I was quite surprised and shocked by the dark atmosphere and downright violent imagery on display at the beginning of the film, so much so that I was wondering if this really was a Christmas movie!

The darkness stems from the fact that our woodsman Klaus lives deep within the forest on a far north island, far far from the closest village which is a town called Smeerensberg and is famous for its never ending feuding and wickedness. It’s a genuine Nineveh of the North so it seems. The town’s feud centers around two rivalling clans (the film’s equivalent of the Hatfields & McCoys) and every villager belongs to one clan or the other. The two families’ feuds go back longer than anyone can remember (cave paintings exist that depict their feud), implying an original sin of sorts with the town being more born from hatred than spawning it. Hatred is so foundational that it infects every part of society. Unwilling to allow children to interact with the rival clans in classrooms, children just don’t go to school. Instead, they roam the streets playing pranks on old people and stabbing snowmen with carrots.

For the most part, Klaus lives his life separate from and unbothered by these unruly residents of Smeerensberg. What breaks his solitude is the arrival of a new post officer to Smeerensberg. More than a trivial side character, this post officer, Jesper Johansson, is surprisingly the main character of this movie all about the origins of Santa Claus.

Much like the residents of Smeerensberg, we the audience come to the film with a primary misunderstanding, much of what makes Santa famous today (the home invasion via chimney, the responding to letters, the reindeer-pulled sleigh) were the creative inventions of a spoiler-brat-turned-postman. So despite this movie being about the origins of Santa Claus, being a Christmas movie, you should have guessed that this will be some variant on Dickens’ classic tale. Jesper isn’t a classic Scrooge in that he doesn’t abhor Christmas, but he is self-absorbed, materialistic, and all-around not a great guy. He’s the spoiled son of a successful postal worker who controls a postal empire that looks more like an army. (The true fantasy of this movie has nothing do with sleigh bells and stocking stuffers… it’s the idea that the post office is a well-organized, well-respected, successful enterprise.) Anyways, recognizing his own son’s worthlessness, Jesper’s father decides to whip him into shape, ship him off to the God-forsaken land of Smeerensberg with an ultimatum: Jesper must process 6,000 letters from the town of Smeerensberg in a year or else be cut off from his father’s wealth. The problem? With how ugly the feud is in Smeerensberg, no one needs to write a letter to express their feelings when a cold snowball to the face (or worse) will get the point across quite clearly.

So now with the spoiled postal heir longing for silk sheets as he tries to survive out in the cold boonies, the movie gets a hint of the Emperor’s New Groove flavor… sans llama. It is only by sheer “chance” (we’ll get to that) that when Jesper visits the woodsman in a last ditch effort to find one person on the island who wants to send a letter, a piece of paper falls out of Jesper’s bag as he flees in horror of the woodsman (we’ll get to that).  This piece of paper contains a drawing that a little boy made of himself locked in a high tower looking sad. In a very humorous scene, we had seen Jesper accidentally stumble across this drawing and then unsuccessfully try to scam the boy into giving him money so that Jesper could “mail” it back to him, rather than just give it back. Regardless, recognizing the little boy’s suffering, the woodsman decides to do something about it and enlists Jesper’s help. Luckily for the children of Smeerensberg, the woodsman has a barn full of toys. Yes, “a barn full of toys” is as creepy as that sounds and the films uses that creepiness to full effect when Jesper first meets the woodsman. The large, imposing, hooded, axe-bearing woodsman is far from the jolly fellow we know he is destined to become. He’s downright scary and given how violent the town of Smeerensberg is (Jesper almost dies when he first arrives because he’s tricked into ringing the war bell which sends the whole town into violent frenzy), we and Jesper are not wrong to assume the woodsman holds only ill-intentions. Essentially, the first meeting with the woodsman is supposed to be something akin to the reveal of the Beast in 1991’s Beauty & the Beast, a film so scary it sent my then two-year-old sister running out of theater in tears. Ultimately, I can’t speak for the mind of a child, but the tension for me here is certainly lessened by the fact that… well… we know the woodsman is Santa Claus. So even though Jesper is scared shitless and flees after meeting the woodsman, we know that there will be more to their story.

Still, even if not necessarily scary, the film does successfully shroud the woodsman in mystery, and his backstory is slowly and beautifully revealed throughout the film. I won’t spoil it here, but the script does a fantastic job of contextualizing the woodman’s stoic and aloof nature and explaining why that barn is so full of toys. The explanations come naturally and speak to a real human pain that I was not expecting from this film. In terms of emotion, the woodsman’s backstory almost reaches the opening montage to Up. ALMOST, I said, so put down the pitchforks!

So Jesper and the woodsman team up to deliver a present to that first child from the drawing. Or more accurately, the woodsman throws Jesper down a chimney to deliver a present while the woodsman looks on. The ensuing scene when the boy opens his present brought tears to my eyes. The woodsman (and we with him) watching the pure joy of a child receiving a present is truly nostalgic in its most literal sense. It hurts to see such joy, remembering that at one time you too could feel such joy from a hunk of plastic, and knowing you will never feel that way again. It’s a joy that few films outside of A Christmas Story with its the red rider BB gun really nail. Anyways, the little boy sees the woodsman through the window and finds his original drawing of himself locked in the tower which the woodsman leaves behind by accident. He surmises that the postman had devliered his drawing to the woodsman, and the woodsman responded with a present.

After that… well the rumor spreads wildly of the mysterious woodsman who comes down chimneys at night to give presents to children in response to letters. Now, the once dormant post office becomes a bustling hub of activity as children from all over flock to send letters to this Mr. Klaus. Kids even beg to go to school so that they can learn to write in order to get presents (much to the dismay of the disilliusioned teacher who long ago gave up on her dreams of teaching in a town where no child goes to school and had turned to being a fishmonger in order to pay the bills and one day afford to leave the town for good).

Gradually the children, who seemingly had no toys prior to Klaus and Jesper’s escapades, now joyously play together, regardless of which clan they belong to. Initially this upsets their parents greatly, but in the end it’s hard to really hate the parents of your children’s friends. The film promotes an age-appropriate and inspiring, if fanciful and naïve, notion that all the world’s problems would be solved if we all thought like children. As by spreading joy throughout the town, Jesper and Klaus inadvertently make the town a better place to live. It’s the theme of the film (not that they’re subtle about it): one act of good-will always begets another (or something like that). Still, all this doesn’t please the village elders, who abhor the change from the town’s hateful origins. They will ultimately serve as villains trying to put an end to all this gift-giving business.

Of course, there’s another villain of sorts, as well. Despite all the good he’s doing, Jesper is ultimately still motivated mostly by the notion of getting back to his old cushioned life. He is essentially using Klaus and preying on his kindness in order to launch himself back to a life of selfishness. It’s here the story feels most Dickensian, particularly in a scene where the school teacher (now love interest) acts functionally the same to the ghost of Christmas present and takes Jesper to the city center to see for himself the love and joy that he has helped bring to the world. But, still his desires to go home are strong, and, of course, he keeps them a secret. So between Jesper’s inner conflict about where he belongs in life and the external conflict of the community trying to fight back against a change in its culture, the film naturally comes to climax when the two conflicts meet and Jesper must confront both challenges at once.

What I’ve realized in writing this review … is that I am very impressed by the plot’s complexity and depth. The film weaves together at least three solid story arcs (Jesper’s coming-of-age/Scrooge-like-change-of-heart, Smeerenberg’s bubbling kindness revolution, and the woodsman’s aged hero who finds redemption and purpose after so many years alone). That all three feel fully supported and without any bloat is a testament to its absolutely solid writing, and for a kid’s film no less! Furthermore, the “origin” story genre can sometimes fall flat as it can just feel like the writers are writing more Wikipedia entries, explaining how every little aspect came to be more than just telling a good story. I call it the Han Solo trap. As for Klaus, the little tidbits about why Klaus uses reindeer and not horses, who the “elves” who work his workshop are, always clever and grow organically from the plot.

Plus, despite my opening doubts regarding whether the dark tone really fit a “Christmas” movie, the film very capably captures the joys of the Christmas season. Like Christians think about Jesus, Klaus/Jesper bring a world of light into a world of darkness. The film teaches about the importance of creating a loving community, of being selfless, and most importantly of respecting the spiritual aspect of the season. Even if this is a decidedly capitalistic/entrepreneurial movie, the film is not without a spiritual side. The previously mentioned “chance” of the woodsman seeing that initial drawing of the boy locked in the tower is no chance at all. Instead, throughout the film we see that the woodsman is “haunted” in a sense by a ghostly wind that points him in the path of righteousness. The film has its own explanation for what the force behind the wind is, but it is not too far of a stretch to point out the similarities between the wind and the Christian idea of the guiding Holy Spirit. Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the woodsman represents God the Father and Jesper God the Son, (or is Klaus more the Christ figure?) because I think this movie is decidedly not Christian, but more I just want to highlight that I enjoyed that the film allowed for the presence of spirituality, which moves this film from the realm of secular kindness to one that recognizes the power and presence of some spiritual goodness, aligning with how many think of the “Christmas spirit.”

Now, let’s be clear, this is a fun, family classic, but it’s not a perfect film. In fact, I downright disliked the first twenty to thirty minutes, for the aforementioned tonal reasons, but also because I really disliked Jason Schwartzmann’s voice acting in the lead role of Jesper. My dislike lessened with the introduction of the woodsman, but it never went away fully. I can’t help but think this movie would be better with a different actor voicing Jesper. Everyone else does an adequate job with the voice work. J.K. Simmons as Klaus takes on an almost Batman-like stoic gruffness, and Rashida Jones as the teacher and love interest is just fine. And, again, I never really fell in love with the art style and it sometimes distracted me, and I found the soundtrack, particularly the main song to be rather lame and too much “of its time” than the typically timeless, more Broadway productions that Disney/Pixar put out. Still, director Sergio Pablos has done something I did not think possible. He and his team created a *new* Christmas classic, one that I’m sure will be played on an annual basis in many households across the world.

***1/4 (Three and a fourth stars out of four)

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

Hell and Back Pt. 2

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader 

Peter Parker x villain!reader 

Warnings: Language, hospital mentions, mentions of drug abuse, allusions to suicide, allusion to self harm, self deprecating thoughts, a gun, mentions of knives, mentions of the dead, anxiety, signs of abuse, abusive and toxic relationships, and fainting.

Word Count: 6.1k 

Songs: Pleaser-Wallows, 505-Artic Monkeys, Sweater Weather- The Neighborhood, Daddy Issues- The Neighborhood, Paper Planes- M.I.A, We come running- Youngblood Hawke, Young dumb and broke- Khalid, Do I wanna know- Artic Monkeys, Break the Rules- Charli XCX

“I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.” 

A/N: There might be some typos and grammatical errors sorry for those, I you want to be added to the Taglist just message me about or comment it. I’ll have a google form for it soon. 

Series Masterlist   Previous Part   Next Part

When I saw my little sisters, that all went away. Sure I still called them a lot but nothing could compare to actually seeing them in person. Sapphire launched herself into my arms and I stumbled back a bit.

“I missed you too,” I said.

I hugged Aaliyah too. When I entered the apartment I heard voices. My dad’s and some feminine voice. 

I walked in to find some woman who couldn't be older than 25 in my kitchen. Talking and laughing with my dad. I didn’t want to assume anything or start a scene so I just went into my room to catch up with my sisters. 

We were talking about some kid who gave me a DMT pen once and I was tripping balls which I probably shouldn’t be talking about, but I want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me. Makes it easier to keep them safe. 

Our dad opened the door and hung in the doorway.

“Hey… Y/N do you mind coming here for a sec?”

“Yeah sure…” 

I stepped out of the room. 

“Is something wrong?” It wasn’t often that he initiated a conversation that would end positively.

“No,no, not at all, I just want you to meet someone,” 

When I entered the kitchen the same woman from before was still there. My dad walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 

“This is my girlfriend, Camilla” 

I knew it . I knew it! I was trying not to be hostile toward her every problem I had was towards my dad so I smiled and waved to her.

“Camilla this is Y/N,” he pointed to me. 

“Well I’ll let y’all get acquainted,” He said before leaving the room.

I sat on the kitchen island and waited for her to say something first. 

“Look, I would just like to put it out there that I’m not trying to replace your mom in anyway.”

“Thanks I appreciate it,” 

“Also, are you okay now?” She asked in a low voice.

“Huh?” I questioned.

“Your dad said you ran away,” Of course he did “and I saw the news with your school at the Washington Monument.” So I guess she knew more about me then expected. Not surprised she was the one to ask me and not my so called dad.  

“Thanks for your concern but I’m fine, and sorry to cut this conversation short but I’m drained.” 

“Oh, okay, have a nice night,” 

“You, too,” 

I didn’t have time to think about anything. I just made it back to my room and face planted onto my bed. My whole being was sore including my brain. I didn’t have the energy to change my clothes, to shower, to think about my dad being a pathological liar or anything else that happened today.

I was awoken by my dad. I didn't know how long I slept but the sun was out. I can’t remember the last time I was able to sleep while the sun was up. 

“Hey we’re going out, for family bonding and I want you there with us,”

Family.

We ain’t ever been a family before why start now. Is what I really wanted to say but I sucked it up because again I hadn’t seen my sisters in a while. 

The movie was really boring. If we’re being honest. 

I pulled Aaliyah and Sapphire aside as my dad and Camilla were deep in conversation. 

“You know how I was staying at Wade’s house right?” 

They both nodded.

“What did dad tell you about this,” 

Sapphire just shrugged and Aaliyah was the one to post.

“I dunno he didn’t say much like usual he just kinda said you just left,” 

I felt my jaw tightening as I processed her words, my fist clenching by my side. 

“Oh, oh okay,” I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth a couple times “Well I just want you to know I’d never leave y’all without a very good reason, and I never won’t come back,” 

By the time we got back to the house it was around twelve since we watched another movie and went to a restaurant. Then got ice cream. This is the most money my dad could’ve possibly spent on me in a long time. I mean he didn’t because I didn’t get anything and bought my own ticket. I didn’t want him to be able to use the fact he bought me stuff against me. I’d gotten tired of the “after I’ll I’ve done for you,” excuse. 

I couldn’t sleep. No matter what I tried I couldn’t sleep. I tried NyQuil, melatonin, and even tea. The tea really did more harm than good. 

This was an extremely stupid thing to do so don’t follow my lead but I was bored. 

I grabbed a lot of useless shit from the floor of my room and made my way to the roof. I poured hand sanitizer on it and set it on fire. Putting aside the fact that it was really weird the fire was oddly beautiful. I sat there watching it for a minute before stomping it out. 

I was going to text my friend Carmen but I realized she was supposed to be asleep and I didn’t want to get her in trouble. 

I ended up scrolling through Zillow for a while then that turned into me applying for like four jobs. In which turned into me making spamming multiple friends saying we needed to hang out.

While I was on Zillow there was a relatively cheap apartment in Queens. Which was close to my school. It kept drawing me in for some reason. I bookmarked the tab.

Before I knew it the sun was up. I figured if I couldn’t sleep I would go on a walk to the park. 

When I got back to the complex everyone was still asleep except my dad who walked outside like he was waiting on me. He grabbed my arm, squeezing it tightly. 

He basically told me I looked like a prostitute. I was running so my sports bra and leggings were actually pretty appropriate. He said that I was probably going out to fuck people and that’s where I always was. I opened my mouth to defend myself.

“Actually I was just going to the-“ I was cut off by a sharp sting on my cheek. 

He fucking slapped me. Hard at that. He then grabbed my arm even tighter than before dragging me into the house.

 I don’t know what hurt worse my face or that fact that I wouldn’t be able to blame him being drunk on all the times he’d hit me before. He was just an ass.

  By the time I made it back to my room it felt like my body was burning itself from the inside out. My face was red and so was my arm from my elbow to almost my wrist. To try to cool myself down I took a cold shower and took some Tylenol. 

I still couldn’t sleep but tonight it was because it was so hot. I really needed a fan in my room. It was already 6 so I just decided to get a head start at the school. Not without taking pictures of my bruises before covering them with green concealer and foundation. I wore a hoodie for good measure. 

I felt dizzy and decided it was probably best not to skate at the moment and I’m 90% sure I fell asleep on the subway.  Apparently we had an art project due which I had no idea existed in the first place so I wasn’t going to that class today. Even though I did truly love Ms. Kramer. I was just gonna skip and go to Bri’s class. Which just happened to be chemistry. 

I wasn’t surprised Mr. Cobwell asked no question when I walked in. I ate lunch in his class a couple times, he was chill. He continued on talking about Quantum Theory. 

I made Flash move from his seat next to Bri which he immediately did. I guess he was scared of me now. 

“Hey,” I said, placing my non bruised side of my face on the desk.

“Hey,” She whispered back. “What class are you supposed to be in?” 

“Art,” 

“Why are you there? You love art,” 

“I’m not feeling it today,” 

“Alright,” she nodded.

“Lemme use your AirPods,” 

She reached into her bag handing them over going back to taking notes. That didn’t last long.

“What ya watching?” She asked.

“Bad Girls Club,” I smiled knowing she liked this show. 

“What season?” 

“7,” I whispered because now I felt too weak to waste my energy on speaking. I placed the phone on my lap and she took the other AirPod and before I knew I class was over with Tasha throwing trash everywhere.

I figured I was feeling sick because my blood sugar was low or something so I drank some Apple juice at lunch and called it a day.

Now time for Physics. I hate physics. Why would science ever require so much math? 

It was so hot. Like on the face of the sun, hot but I couldn’t take my hoodie off because I felt like I’d sweat my foundation off. 

“Are you okay?” Peter asked me “You look pale,” I swear if he doesn’t learn to mind his business.

“I’m fine,” I told him, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself, I gestured to his notebook. “Do your work,” 

“Alright fine,” he said reluctantly, glancing at me once before getting back to writing whatever we were supposed to be doing down.

 I pulled my hoodie back over my head and sat up in my seat about to try to do my work again. But it was so hot and I was so dizzy that I couldn’t focus.

The world began to swirl and I knew the switch in my brain was going to flip off. I just didn’t have time or enough energy to tell anyone. 

When I woke up I was in a bed in the nurse's office and the first thing I noticed was I didn’t have my hoodie. Shit. I used to make fun of people for passing out because how does your own body clock out on you? Until it started happening to me like last year. 

I went into the bathroom and sure enough the giant bruise on my cheek and arm were kinda visible. 

Again shit.

I patted my forehead with a cold paper towel because the nurse’s bathroom actually had paper towels unlike all the others, before the nurse came back. 

“Hello, Are you feeling okay?” 

I nodded. She smiled down at me before giving me water and checking my temperature. 

“You have a fever,” she said after looking down at the thermometer “We called dad to come and pick you up but we got no answer. Is there anyone else that can come and take you?” 

I shook my head, not trusting my voice. 

I drank some more of the water before speaking up. 

“I have a friend who’s at this school she could maybe drop me off?” 

“I’m not sure if that’s allowed,” she said. 

“You know what? Go back to class, get your friend and come right back.”

I pushed off the bed and headed out of the nurses office surprised to find Peter sitting on the bench outside it. 

“Are you okay?” He asked me again 

“Yes I’m okay” I nodded. Apparently I wasn’t as okay as I thought because I almost tripped over my leg trying to move. But Peter immediately reached his hand out to stabilize me. And I don’t know why that made me as angry as it was but I said “I don’t need you to help,” harsher than I need to. 

“Sorry,” I said calmly almost immediately after. 

“It’s okay,” He said scratching the back of his neck.

“If you don’t mind me asking where’d these bruises come from,” 

“I fell,” was all I said. He looked skeptical but that was all he was going to get, I didn’t need CPS all up in my business. That’s also payback for him lying to me about “cat scratches”. 

“Can you do me a favor?” I asked.

“Yeah, anything,” he said. 

“Can you go get Briana from Mr. Dell’s class for me?” 

“Yeah I’ll be right back,” he said before sprinting down the hallway. I giggled at his giddiness. It was still extremely hot everywhere my body was tingling. 

Bri ran towards me 

“Oh my god are you okay,” 

“I’m fine, I just need you to talk to the nurse with me real quick,” 

She apparently didn’t have her car with her today so she was a no go. 

“I’m sorry girl,” she said, pulling me into a hug. 

“It’s okay, go back to class now,” I said.

“Alright feel better,”

I walked back out of the office to find none other than Peter still waiting there.

“So what happened?” He asked.

“Looks like I’m walking home,” I smiled sarcastically. “Yay,”

“I can walk you home,”

“No, thank you” 

“I insist,” I laughed again 

“I still think that word is funny,” I said.

“Okay, now let me walk you home,” 

We were walking in no general direction. No one but MJ and Bri know my address and  I’d like  to keep it that way. 

“Wait, you need food,” He claimed.

We ended up at this place called Delmar’s Deli. I’d passed it a couple times while walking home and during my less legal “hobby”. I really wasn’t hungry at all. I took all of like two bites from my sandwich claiming I’d take it to go before throwing it away. It wasn’t bad, it was quite good, actually I just wasn’t hungry. 

“My aunt is a nurse at an emergency room, she can check you out,” I hate anything that's anything like a hospital at all brings terrible memories, but I didn’t want him to know where I lived so I agreed. I’d ditch him then.  

It took us a while to get there but by the time we did I had to stop and catch my breath. He offered to walk me home and got me food. What a Spiderman thing to do. I’d say I had much solid proof to go on by now.  

“Peter!” The gorgeous brunette woman came over to the waiting room “What are you doing here don’t you have school?” 

“Yeah but my friend-“ When her eyes ghosted over to my face she cut herself off. “Oh my God are you okay,” she referred to my bruises “What happened to you?” 

“Did Flash do this to her?” She asked Peter and I had to stifle a laugh at that. I wish he would try to lay a finger on me. 

“No, she just told me she fell, we’re here cause she fainted and I don’t know if the school nurse is very capable of actually helping,” 

Is this a new thing Peter just decides to randomly worry about me for no good reason and forces me into taking care of myself. Because I hate it. 

“Oh, ok,” She nodded her head. “Grab one of those questionnaires over there,” She pointed to the sign in table. “Are your parents going to come too?” She asked and I shook my head. 

She and Peter moved over to the side and started talking about something I had no interest in. I grabbed the questionnaire and sat on the edge of the closest seat.  

1. What’s your age?

That’s easy 15.

2. Specify your race 

African American of course.

3. Select your highest level of education

Some high school

4. What’s your marital status? 

Single never married. Unless you count that un-ordained wedding I once had.

5. Specify your employment status

A student. 

6. Have you ever been treated in an emergency room (specify age)? 

Yes, as a child. 

7. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital? If yes, do you remember why?

Okay wow. Yes. 

I sat on the cold bathroom floor, vision blurry from tears forming in my eyes. 

“Y/N, you okay in there?” I heard my brother ask after lightly rapping his fingers on the door. 

“Yeah, I’m okay!” 

No I wasn’t. I wasn’t okay at all. In fact I was the farthest thing from okay. I glanced down at my thighs, you could see cuts from the night before and scars peeking out from underneath my shorts. I was sobbing at this point. 

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if it was for myself or to everyone I knew I’d hurt by this. I already had the headache. I was just waiting for the rest of the pills to kick in. 

I was holding onto the sink for support when the left side of my body started to feel tingly. The whole situation felt hazy. I was shaking hard before I fell, taking almost everything on the sink with me. 

My head hit the bathmat and I could feel my heart slowing and hear my breath become shallow. I heard the doorknob jingle and that was the last thing before a feeling of true bliss and peace took over my body. 

I could hear screams and sirens and I knew I was in an ambulance. Slowly I awoke with wires all over my body and an IV in my wrist. My limbs were dead weight, I couldn’t move. 

A single tear fell from my eye alerting me off my surroundings. I quickly came back to myself. I made up the excuse of a family emergency and left.

I ended up halfway across the city. Then in Brooklyn visiting a friend. 

I knocked on the window of Aaron’s apartment. I could see Miles sitting on the couch.

“How’ve things been over here?” I asked once I was settled on the couch as well. 

“Uh, pretty tame, and you?” 

“There was that whole elevator stunt and I almost fucking died which was fun.” 

“Forgot you never take anything seriously,” He rolled his eyes. 

I laughed in response “Well one of us has got to be fun for us since it’s clearly not you,” 

“In celebration of me not dying I’m making sundaes,” 

“Alright,” He said leaning back on the couch. 

“Hey uh, When’s Aaron coming back?” I asked, getting the whipped cream out of the fridge.

“I’m not sure,” 

This is actually like really fucking dangerous. Like it could kill me. It’s just I was already in pain and had a headache. I also wasn’t thinking. I’d already made the sundaes. I turned around so Miles couldn’t see what I was doing before I- Okay I’m not going to do this. Get it together God you’re acting like an addict. The amount of people who’ve died from inhalants were insane. There it is again death. 

“Drawn anything new lately?” I asked, wanting to get my mind off of the topic of death that seemed to be plaguing my brain lately.  

“Some small sketches,”

I got the text that’d I been waiting for. I’d been talking to Aaron for the past few days. I’m not sure how Miles would feel about that. So I haven’t said anything. 

But I got the text. 

Staten Island Ferry 3pm

I immediately popped up from the couch.

“I have to go like right now, it’s an emergency,” 

I sprinted towards the door almost running into the punching bag in front of me. 

“Y/N-“ 

It’d been a week and things were looking up. I had a great day yesterday without the use of any drug. But nothing good ever lasts too long. I didn’t have to worry about that now. What I needed to worry about, was getting Peter to stop falling on his ass. 

I tried not to laugh at him and failed. 

“It’s not funny,” he said, pulling me down with him as I reached out to pull him up. Soon he was laughing too. 

I felt a vibration in my pocket and saw that Aaron texted me. 

hey the results from the search came in.

what???? don’t play with me I’m on my way right now. 

“Uh hey I gotta go sorry,” 

“No it’s fine I probably should get home too,” He pushed off the ground reaching down for me. 

“Do you wanna do this again tomorrow?” He asked a hopeful glint in his eye once we were both on our feet.

“Yeah sounds nice,” I smiled.

“Okay,” He nodded.

“Okay,” I echoed heading off. 

Ned was being fucking stupid.

“NO!” I slammed my hands down on the table “You don’t stab anyone especially if you plan on using bleach to clean up the blood. At least use vinegar and lemon,”

“Okay, jeez,” he said reeling back, “How would you do it then?” 

Before I could say anything MJ spoke up

“You could just use a needle full of air in between their toes, Their heart would fail” 

“Orrr,” I said spinning around on top of the table towards Ned. “You could overdose them on potassium and by the time the police get there the potassium in their blood is back at a normal level,” 

“Yeah that works too,” MJ stated going back to whatever she was drawing.

“You guys scare me,” Ned muttered making me smile. 

“Where’s Peter?” I asked and Ned pointed across the room. 

There he was sitting by Liz. It was cute I knew about his little crush on her. I’m sure the whole school did. Glad it’s working out for him. However that did not stop the pain in my stomach. 

I got up from the table because suddenly I did not want to be at school anymore. 

“Where are you going?” MJ looked up at me.

I shrugged. In all honesty I had no I idea where I was going. Somehow I always end up at Wade’s house when I don’t know where I want to go. He wasn’t home but I had a key. I can’t remember if he gave it to me or I stole if we're being honest. 

Clearly I hadn’t passed by a mirror in a while because damn. I look terrible. 

My eyes were red and circled with a dark hue from lack of sleep. I still had a yellowing bruise on my cheek. I was pale. I looked to be on the verge of death. 

I looked frail, like at any second I’d just fall apart. 

It was so unfair. My bones dragged down my body. The pieces of my soul that were mined out and removed from my mind. There’s a hole leaving me forever longing and I cannot fill nor feel. Hiraeth, a beautiful word for a ugly feeling. longing for a home that I never truly had, a home in which I’d never return. I would like to drift to where my spirit lies. It’s in the eyes of you and me and everyone in between. Drifting on a small boat in the sea. Viridian. Yes! That's the place I would like to be, that's where my soul lies yes you see.

 I kept punching his punching bag over and over again. Until I was on my back on the floor begging my lungs to allow air into them with Time (Is) by Solange playing on loop. Something put it into my head that I had to kill Vulture. I’d never directly killed anyone but that was gonna change. Having people killed or knowing someone was going to kill someone and not doing anything about isn’t killing anyone in my book, but I’m sure it would be in Spidey’s

That’s literally Liz’s dad though…

Okay maybe I’d just get him locked up. Great now I gotta be a snitch. That’s new. I showered not even caring about my hair now my curls were sticking to my face. I was freezing now though. I didn’t know whether to be glad that my body wasn’t on fire anymore or be upset that I was covered in goosebumps. 

Wade’s laptop was sitting right there on his bed. I was only taking a shower but, I think I should be allowed to watch Netflix and he wouldn’t mind, I was already on his account anways. 

After like 3 episodes into this random show there was a folder that was calling to me for some reason. 

It’d be okay to take a sneak peek. I thought to myself. 

I clicked on it and it was locked. I guessed the password in like three tries. He’s really gotta up his password game. It opened to multiple folders, one with my mom's name. Okay I had to click this then. 

I opened it which opened to more folders one titled ‘In Case of My Death’. 

Okay, okay cool my mother has had a video of what to do all if she died all along. This would’ve come in handy five years ago. 

There were three videos with the names of myself and my sisters. I clicked on mine then paused it. 

Then unpaused it again. 

I couldn’t do it. Okay, yes I could. I played it again. As soon as I heard the beginning of the word “hi”. I shut the computer off. I couldn’t do this. Couldn't do it because I was weak, I couldn’t handle myself. I was stupid and weak and a fucking disappointment. Guess my dad had been right all these years. I knew there was always some truth to the words he spoke only a matter of time until I started acknowledging it. 

I don’t remember coming home to the apartment. And I definitely don’t remember writing all over the walls of my dad’s room. But I had a marker in my hands and it looked like a toddler had gone to town. 

Holy Shit 

He was actually going to murder me, in cold fucking blood.  I trashed, the living room area, his room, and then mine. I was not coming home tonight. Looks like I’d need to find a new home now. At this point that sounded like a pretty solid plan. 

I text my sisters a quick text ‘stay at grandma’s house tonight dad is going to pissed like Super Sayian mode’ before grabbing my go-bag which was: a bag of the essentials, like hygiene a couple shirts, shorts, hoodies, pants, and of course the flash drive can't forget the flash drive. 

The flash drive that’s driving me crazy. I’d yet to open it though.  I knew I was crazy because I did all this while fucking sobbing.

I wandered around for hours. Making my way to Brooklyn, Manhattan, Harlem, AND actual New York City.  

Somehow I still ended up at Olivia’s door at the end of the day. I honestly believe we were soulmates. Most people don’t know you get many soulmates in a lifetime. I think Olivia and I would be the karmic kind. A karmic relationship is meant to help you grow, but it is never meant to last—it's often playing out a bad experience from a past life. I’m guessing I hadn’t grown yet because here I was.

She opened the door after a second. I’m surprised she did because I used our special knock so I knew she knew it was me. 

“I can’t fucking do this anymore,” I screamed in her face. 

“You're the one going off and being secretive and shit, like you’re scared I’m gonna hurt you or something,” she yelled walking up the stairs. 

I followed after her, 

“Maybe you would hurt me. I don’t know you are insane,” I said, tears brimming my eyes. 

“Just because you have fucking daddy issues, doesn’t mean you have to carrying them into every part of your life,” 

“I have daddy issues?” I screamed soon turning into me choking on a laugh making an unhinged noise “Oh, I have fucking daddy issues, now? Oh, okay,” I nodded. 

“Your parents didn’t even fucking want you,” I pointed at her. “At least my mom stuck around before she died,” 

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” 

“Yeah well right back at you,” 

“You’re fucking psychotic! Literally you’re so much like your dad and you don’t even know it, You’re trying to please him and he doesn’t give two shits about you, Wake up Y/N! Wake up.” 

“I’m hard on you because I love you so much,” She claimed, but her love was suffocating. 

“Oh yeah? I asked “Well i don’t know how much more of this ’love’ I can take,” 

“Fine then,” She screamed. 

“Fine,” I said before she slammed the door in my face leaving me standing out in the cold crying. 

That wasn’t even the worse we’d said to each other. It was the first but not the last time we’d break up either. I do believe we loved each other though in our own twisted way. Well at least I know I loved her. 

“Hey,” She said softly as she could sense I was due to break at any second. My cheeks were probably tear stained. 

“Hey,” I whispered back. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. 

“No,” I shook my head. One thing I liked about her is I didn’t have to fake it around her, because masking my real emotions was so draining. At least I didn’t have to do it with everyone. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“No,” 

“Okay,” she said softly “My parents aren’t home, so you don’t have to worry about them,” not surprised. 

I nodded before she grabbed my hand bringing me inside.

“I missed you,” she said stroking my hair as I laid on her bed, my head in her lap. 

“I missed you too,” I wasn’t lying my head drifted to her from time to time. It wasn’t that I wanted to get back together I just missed her presence.  

She smiled sadly at me running her finger over the bags on my eyes. 

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” She quotes.

“Yeah well, ’m not queen or princess and definitely don’t have a crown, so we don’t gotta worry ‘bout me,” I said. 

“You’re a princess to me,” I gave a genuine yet tired smile at that.

“You can go to sleep, it’s okay,” She said.

That was the first time I was actually able to fall asleep and without medicine or having to go on a walk or do anything really. 

I woke up in the bed alone only to find Olivia sitting at her kitchen island eating spaghetti. 

She smiled when she saw me coming into view. 

“Sleep well?” She asked.

“Yeah surprisingly,” How long had I been asleep for I wondered.

“It’s 10 pm,” She said, still being able to read me. 

I made my way over to her and sat across her.

“So what’s really going on with you miss Y/N?” She questioned. 

I shrugged “I don’t know, nothing,”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? Cause I’m not buying,” 

I explained to her how my dad was being weird and how I wanted to move out now. How I had pretty much vandalized the house. How I found the video of my mom. Just everything. Well maybe not everything I didn’t tell her about Vulture because I feel like she’d try to do something and I didn’t want her to get hurt. 

“Oh wow, damn... holy shit. Are you gonna watch your moms video?” She asked. Huh I hadn’t thought about that.

“I mean of course I will, yeah,” I nodded “Probably, I don’t know I’m scared,”  

“Wouldn’t you rather just push the fear back and watch then wonder the rest of your life what it says.” 

I sighed. Can't argue with that logic.

“I’m assuming you came here because you need a place to stay?” She said. 

“Yes, I need a place to stay just for a while but I don’t want it to seem like I’m just using you I can find somewhere else,” 

“Now it’s fine stay as long as you need but my dad gets back at the end of the month and we both know he doesn’t like you,” She chuckled at the last sentence and I laughed too. 

I was on the ferry heading towards Staten Island now. I knew the sale was for these weird alien shits but that's pretty much all I knew. I figured I’d sort of “out bid” the buyers then get rid of everything. By outbid I mean straight up steal. Some guy in a white pickup truck is officially my target. Thorn was still on hiatus. Meaning no knives unless you count the pocket knife I always had on me, no suit. I did have a trejo though, you know just in case. I couldn’t help my mind from drifting to Pop Smoke’s “I got it on me”. I let out a small laugh.  

I was hiding behind some car waiting for a crack in the plan to slip in. 

That was until Spiderman showed up. It’s like he had a sixth sense to ruin all of my plans. 

Shit 

Well abort mission. Just as I started walking around to get to the side of the boat. The van I was next to had Vulture literally coming out of it. I knew it’d looked familiar. 

I made it up to the top deck looking down on everything unfolding. So a quick rundown,  the FBI was here, meaning Tony Stark or someone with government clearance probably did something because I highly doubt that Spiderman, the Spiderman that I’ve seen hit a window like a bird while swinging, had any government clearance. 

See now I was looking to find a good time to make my escape. That was until that purple alien shit started spewing stuff beams of light through the ship. And fuck, I look away for one second and the new Shocker guy was gone. I turned around and saw he was running in another direction. I chased after him the rubber of my sneakers squeaking on the deck. 

I jumped down onto Shocker’s back sending us both to the floor before he pushed me off. I was definitely going to be sore tomorrow and I’m pretty sure I heard something pull in my leg. 

He jumped off onto the Vulture and I knew I couldn’t do anything anymore. Not like I was just going to shoot them down in public. I saw the light shooting down the middle of the ferry. I was gonna make a run for it but the loud squeal noise was so loud I fell over. Soon I was slung back into what I think was a bench not entirely sure I just knew it hurt like a bitch. 

I’m pretty sure I feel unconscious for like 30 seconds. 

But that was enough because the boat had already split in half and I couldn’t get to the deck or a lifeboat. However Spider-Man was frantically trying to get it together. 

I was trying to be hopeful because everything was looking up, as the parts of the ship got closer together but I think we all know the saying ‘what goes up must come down’ 

Over the ringing in my head I could assume that things were fixed because people were cheering. One thing that comes from cheering is movement and if I learned anything from the elevator it’s that moving in a very unstable metal death box is not a good idea. 

The ship was falling apart again until it wasn’t. It was pushed back together by I could only assume would be our government clearance guy Tony Stark. I looked out the window and yep there he was. 

As soon as I got on solid ground I called my sisters.

“Hiii!” I exclaimed. “Where are you, are you okay?” 

“Yes we’re fine, and where at grandma’s house like you told us to go to where else would we be,” I could almost hear the eye roll in Liyah’s voice. 

“Okay little Miss attitude stay there until I can feel everything out with dad,” 

“Alright,” 

“Okay I love you guys,” I said, getting a small “love you too” from Sapphire. 

“I know,” was the response I got from Liyah. I almost gasped the audacity of this child. 

“Say it back,” 

“Say it back,” She mocked, evoking laughter from both sides of the call. 

“Okay love you too byeeee,” She said hanging up. 

I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.

Taglist: 

@tomdiddlyumptious

[im-justso-bored]

Week 6 of Clown Theories and Analysis

S03E06: End of Game

So this one is a bit late, I guess I was a bit underwhelmed by this episode but I’m finally getting around to typing this out. I’ve noticed that for each episode this season, I’ve appreciated it much more the second time I watched it. I think it’s because I have certain expectations of the episode and the episodes end up being completely different from what I thought but idk if it’s in a good way or not so I have readjust my expectations and I usually enjoy it more the second time around. 

Also I wanna say that while I am just as disappointed as everyone else that Eve isn’t getting the screen time she deserves, it does make sense that they would be splitting up the time for each character differently this season. With everyone being separated (Eve no longer working for Carolyn, and V no longer working for Konstantin), there are a lot more storylines to keep up with. And in the promos leading up to this season we see a lot of all four of them, not just Eve and Villanelle. Carolyn is to Eve what Konstantin is to Villanelle, they’re just as much affected by everything as Eve and V. That being said, I do want to see Eve on screen more and I think that season 4 will more Eve and Villanelle centric, hopefully with more emphasis on Eve (kind of like season 1). Especially because depending on how these last two episodes play out, it’s looking likely we won’t be seeing Konstantin at all next season and possibly even Carolyn. KE does have a history of really focuses and building up characters before killing them off (i.e. Bill and Kenny). 

Piss off forever - So I still don’t understand how Niko survived a pitchfork to the neck. I take back my RIP from my episode 4 review. 

I’m really glad that he’s still done with Eve though. Dude doesn’t even care to find out who tried to kill him, he just wants Eve as far away from him as possible and I’m here for it. Whatever it takes for no more Niko. He was still wearing his wedding ring in this scene which confused me but I think this is the last we’ll be seeing of Niko (I hope). Otherwise the whole pitchfork scene would have been for nothing because it clearly didn’t make Eve think it was V. And I guess the goal for the writers wasn’t to kill Niko either so they must be just giving Niko and Eve the only other way out of their doomed marriage which is for Eve to really see the position she’s putting Niko in by still being connected to him. 

To Villanelle, the Keeper - You never really see V care much about who she works for or why is tasked to do what she does.

For a long time, she did what she was told until Eve brought it to her attention and she stole the recording of Frank and learned about the Twelve. And then you see in episode 7 of season 1, V is asking Konstantin for the names of the Twelve. I think Eve asking about who she works for and listening to the recording of Frank opened up a can of worms for V. After this, she’s in this constant struggle within herself to either be powerful or to be free. For a long time, she’s always been stuck in the middle and given the illusion of power and freedom but she never really has either. I think V’s interest in being a Keeper this season has a lot to do with that. You see her talk about freedom a couple of times.

“Run. You’re free.”

“You’re free now. You can be whoever you want.”

Each time, she received the response of “I don’t want to be free.” You can tell she’s really confused at how someone would willingly give up their freedom. She doesn’t have that luxury, she has the illusion of freedom but she’s never truly free. So seeing others give up their freedom is something that perplexes her. I think V sees gaining power the only way she can truly have freedom which is why being a Keeper is so important to her. And despite the shit she went through in episode 5, she seemed genuinely happy to receive the news that her request was successful. Until she realizes that nothing has really changed and she’s still being given orders and not the other way around. The title of “Keeper” is nothing more than an illusion of power and freedom.

She knows she can’t touch him - I’m all here for Eve not believing for one second that V tried to kill Niko.

I’m a little confused on how Eve figured out it was Dasha who tried to kill Niko based off a couple of photos, an online profile, and one conversation with Carolyn. But I guess they do have to move the plot along so I’m just going to say it’s because Eve is a badass investigator even though we all know her and Villanelle share one brain cell. 

Does it really matter who? - I love how Carolyn constantly calls Eve out on her obsession for Villanelle. Because Carolyn is kind of right, if it was the Twelve, why does it really matter? It was important for Eve to know because it means that it wasn’t V. Not to say that Carolyn is completely right though, with a death so personal, of course she would want to know exactly who killed him just like Carolyn would want to know exactly who killed Kenny. But as we all know, it’s more than that for Eve and Carolyn sees right through her as always. 

Also how is that Carolyn always has ties to sketchy Russian people? Konstantin and now Dasha. 

I send for you - I think I speak for us all when I say that I’m tired of seeing V cry or with tears in her eyes, let her be happy pleaaseee. Villanelle is desperately trying to hold on to the few people she has left. After the letdown of finally being promoted to Keeper, the only thing she has left now are Konstantin and Eve, both of whom she shot. These are her last ties to holding on to her humanity and sanity, which parallels nicely with Eve and the red string of fate. You see Konstantin choose Irina over Villanelle in this episode just as you see Niko choose his freedom over Eve. Which leaves Villanelle with Dasha who she doesn’t fully trust and Eve with Carolyn who she also doesn’t fully trust. 

Are you working for them, Paul? - Just a quick note about this scene. This brought up a question a lot of us have been asking since season 1. Is Carolyn working for the Twelve? Was she ever working for the Twelve? It seemed less likely after Kenny’s death but sometimes I still wonder and this scene definitely brought my attention back to that. 

He asked if I was his father - So I’m not even going to touch the whole “Geraldine kissed Konstantin” thing because as of right now, everything about Geraldine confuses me and she has not added anything to the plot so far. Although I do want to know why she lied about Konstantin visiting. It’s definitely not over something as small as a kiss.

Carolyn was such a badass in this scene. She’s definitely become more careless and a bit more unhinged like Eve and Villanelle. As I said before, both Konstantin and Carolyn are just as affected by all of the events that have built up since season 1 and we’re seeing huge contrasts from them then and now. This is definitely building to something big for the last two episodes. I wonder if the idea of Konstantin being Kenny’s father will have any significance later on. Also I want to know how Kenny came to that conclusion and if that’s part of what got him killed. Carolyn’s shock at finding out what Kenny asked Konstantin about makes me wonder if there is something else she’s hiding and wondering if Kenny found out. Not about being Konstantin’s son but something bigger like Carolyn possibly working for the Twelve or formerly working for the Twelve?  

Trying to get my step count up - So yeah, Konstantin is fucked.

She is perfect killing machine - Eve had such top energy here and I love it. Eve definitely surprised Dasha here, maybe even scared her a little. Eve managed to figure her out in a matter of days and then track her down. Dasha definitely underestimated the connection that both Eve and Villanelle share and it’s apparent in this conversation. It’s also very clear that Eve knows V better than Dasha does despite Dasha spending more time with her lately. Dasha sees Villanelle as a “killing machine” but Eve knows that she’s much more than that even after all the shit that V put Eve through. Dasha continues to dig her own grave by underestimating Eve and putting Villanelle on a pedestal, which I think she realizes more in the last scene of this episode. 

This is bullshit - So this scene reminded me of a scene from Dexter where after killing his brother, it really put him off his game and Dexter struggled with his next couple of kills after that. Same with Villanelle and killing her family, this is the only time that we actually see V really falter during one of her kills. 

I don’t want to do this anymore - I’m making it illegal to make Villanelle cry, I can’t take it anymore 😭 What a heartbreaking scene but also what an amazing scene and the parallel to 1x05 is just fantastic. I’m a sucker for good parallels and the ones in this show are just *chef’s kiss*.

Killing her mother definitely broke something inside of Villanelle. I guess you could say that it broke Villanelle and what’s taking place is Oksana. After her promotion not being what she wanted and Konstantin choosing Irina over her, she lost the only way to either of the two things she really wanted, power and freedom. Now she’s stuck doing the same thing she always has (reminds me of what she said during the AA meeting “I’m just so bored.”) but now she’s a different person and that’s not enough anymore. Maybe it was a little more bearable when she didn’t feel anything but now that she feels more, I can imagine that it’s much more suffocating. From the beginning (season 1), she constantly mentions wanting to be normal and do normal things and the only way she can do that is if she’s on top with no one controlling her (power) or if she’s free. But she has neither and both are slipping further out of her reach. 

Also this ^ isn’t allowed. The crying nor her still being so attractive while falling apart. Like how is that possible????

Irina - So like Irina killing her mom’s bf came out of no where but also at the same time, it didn’t? I think it’s definitely in character for Irina to do something like that. But like...eventually. Definitely not so soon. But I guess it can make sense seeing as V and Irina are constantly battling for Konstantin’s attention and maybe Irina thought that this would get his attention if she were a killer like V. 

Thanks to Irina’s little joy ride, Konstantin is now forced to stay in London longer which makes him a target and if Konstantin does die within the next two episodes, I think it’s going to have a huge impact on Irina and she might even blame herself since he had to stay in London because of her. Or this will cause Irina to become more unhinged and for her behavior to escalate. 

OVERALL - This episode was decent, it was one of the weaker episodes for me this season. It gave me a lot to think about but it definitely lacked the excitement and tension that I’ve grown to expect from Killing Eve. Also I’m not a big fan of what they’re doing to the location title cards. I guess they’re trying to be funny or maybe match the same chaotic energy that the characters are giving off. Idk but I don’t really like it. 

I think the last two episodes are definitely going to be a lot more fast paced (or at least I hope) as the season is wrapped up. I’m really nervous for the next week and a half, also I’m sad that this season is coming to an end already! I’m glad we have at least one more season after this to look forward to.

[jerkbitchidjitassbutt]

What If I Told You (9)

Characters: Jensen x Reader; Jared Padalecki; SPN Cast members at times.

Summary: You and Jensen have been the closest of friends for years after meeting on the set of SPN, but what will happen when you and Jensen have a kissing scene?

Warnings: Cursing; divorce; break up; angst-ish at times, but mostly fluff. For this chapter: Canon divergence from the show, spn-related sadness.

I consider this an AU, as Jensen is divorced from an unnamed ex in this fic. This is completely a work of fiction, and I wouldn’t want his reality to be any different, this is purely for entertainment.

A/n: Just a tiny bit more until the big one. Flashbacks are in italics.

The darkened wood of the porch swing rasped slightly as you swung back and forth, but the only sound that rung in your ears was your own heartbeat. Jensen’s eyes glazed as they stared into yours, the words he’d just spoken hanging heavily in the air.

“I was begging myself not to leave you.”

He gave you a small smile, as if to say a million words with a single action that was only meant for you.

Leaning slightly into his side, the scent of his aftershave filling your senses, you reassured him, “Don’t worry, Jay. I promise, I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered.

His dimples appeared as he gave a genuine, gorgeous smile. “You know…” he began, gazing at the jade lawn and blossoming blooms of the small garden, “this is a pretty nice place.”

Taking in the scenery, you agreed. The home itself was picturesque. “Yeah. Something I’d like to have one day.”

Jensen gripped your hand tightly before Clint whistled for you gently, hoping to usher you into the waiting SUV to take you back to set. Jensen, Jared, and Misha had one more scene to film on location at the ‘borrowed’ house with the red front door and another down the road, but it was already nearing four o’clock in the afternoon and you were due back at the studio for make-up and wardrobe removal.

The two of you stood from the swing on the front porch and, to your surprise, Jensen walked you down the steps and sidewalk to your bodyguard’s vehicle.

Jensen quickly stepped in front of you to grip the handle, opening the back door and gesturing for you to slide in.

“Ever the gentleman.” You giggled, feeling a rush to your cheeks.

“Well, you know me… gotta keep it interesting.” He smirked.

You halted before stepping in through the open door and turned to face him. Jensen had caged you within the frame of the door and his body, resting his hands both on the door and the cool metal of the car’s frame, blocking you from the remainder of those on set. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust those he worked with, but he was a man that enjoyed his privacy, especially with those he was closest to.

You felt suddenly small in the confines of the space and under the watchful gaze of Jensen. He was the person you felt most comfortable around and knew you to the depths of your secrets, yet in this moment you felt as though all new ones were coming to the surface. You wrung your hands into knots behind your back as you swayed onto the balls of your feet, anxiously posing, “So, I guess I’ll see you at Rob’s thing tonight?”

“Yeah. Yeah—I’ll be there. I want to say ‘screw it’ and run off with you now and, uh… have that talk, but you know how it is. I’ve got to get back in there.” He said, seemingly nervous as well, but also collected and steady.

“No, yeah… I get that. No worries.” You sputtered, casting your eyes to your shoes for no reason at all, other than to avoid his.

“Hey.” He said, releasing the hand that was holding the door to tuck it beneath your chin, he index finger and thumb planting themselves to turn your face to him. “It’ll happen sweetheart. I promise. I’m anxious too, don't worry.”

You smiled in his embrace. He had an unexplainable gift of knowing precisely what you needed to hear. It was almost as if you were consistently thinking that you were going to wake up and it would all have been a dream; the kiss, the message, the emotions he had expressed, but he was doing everything to ensure you knew it wasn't.

“Okay. Promise?” you said with a smirk, extending your pinky finger.

He eyed your outstretched hand with a grin, releasing your chin to lock his smallest finger with yours. As he enclosed it around his own, he tugged it gently towards him, pulling you closer to lay a gentle, quick peck of a kiss to your lips that left a tingle in its wake. “Promise.”

He retreated to the sidewalk as you hopped onto the leather seat of Clint’s car and shut the door for you, waving as the car sped off down the street.

You cast your eyes out of the darkened glass of the window, eyeing the man who had shaken you to your core who was still standing on the gray sidewalk. He seemed even more beautiful in the late afternoon light that shown behind him, blooming in iridescence and arcs of color.

Secretly, Jensen was as nervous and apprehensive as you were, but he couldn’t deny any longer that this was what he wanted and now—now he was sure you felt the same. All of the trepidation from days past was slowly dwindling to new nerves; now he just wanted to make everything perfect. If he was honest with himself, this was no longer a question of whether, it was a question of how.

.....

Yesterday

“Hey man, glad you made it.” Jared said, not standing from his seat on his couch when Jensen let himself in through the front door of his apartment. Gen and the kids were with family in Austin in their new home, so Jared was by himself for the majority of this season.

“Yeah, thanks for the call.” Jensen said sarcastically.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I… interrupt something?” he enunciated.

“No.” Jensen replied immediately and a little too quickly. “No. Well—maybe? I don't know.”

That was enough to make Jared quickly stand. His long limbs carried him to where Jensen was pacing, fists shoved tightly into his leather jacket when his friend reached him. “Tell me what happened.”

“Well.” He began, “We kissed.”

“Yeah, and?” Jared probed.

Jensen looked at his friend with a slightly stunned expression, “I… I don't know, man. I don't think I’ve ever had a kiss like that. It was just supposed to be rehearsal kiss, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

Jared hid the smirk that was sneaking below the surface, an unmistakable glint in his friend’s eye—it wasn’t just a kiss. There was more to be told. “Okay, what else happened?”

Jensen paused, his eyes widening with realization as he replayed the rehearsed scene in his mind, “I said her name.” he all but sighed.

“Huh?” Jared asked, confused.

“In the scene… I said Y/n instead of Y/c/n… when I said, ‘I love you’. It was part of the script and I—I messed up. I let it slip.”

Jared could sense the battle raging in his friend’s mind, so he pushed further, “Okay, so what is it?”

Jensen raised a brow, curious as to where his friend’s mind was leading, “What do you mean?”

Using his height to boost himself, Jared perched against his kitchen counter, his long legs and torso making it easy to prop his hips against the marble and gestured towards his friend, “What’s holding you back? What’s making it so hard for you to admit that it wasn’t a slip up at all, but that you actually do feel that way for her? You said it was about your friendship—that you didn’t want to ruin it, but could it be something deeper than that? I get it if you’re scared, man. You don’t want to get hurt again or put yourself out there if it’s not given back. But answer me this…  Was there anything behind that kiss that makes you question it? In that moment, did you even question if she felt it too?”

Jensen let himself relive the feeling of holding you in his arms, the softness of your skin underneath his fingertips, and the fire that erupted in his chest the minute his lips touched yours.

Jared’s lip curled at the edges as he watched Jensen’s expression shift from shock and confusion to realization as he asked, “Do you really think she—”

“Yeah.” Jared interrupted, clasping his friend on the shoulder. “Yeah, I think she does. Now, the only question is: are you going to let your fear of ruining your ‘friendship’ ruin any chance with her, or are you gonna go for it? Because, if you want my advice—which you always do…” he said, giving a slight, boastful bow, “I think you should go for it. No more games, no more ‘what-ifs’… nothing. Just take the dive.”

Jensen felt his chest tighten with excitement at the thought. Giving his friend a nod and a smile, he left with a resolve and a dinner appointment with the executives of the studio fast approaching, one which he could only hope would pass quickly.

After reaching your voicemail later that night, he only contemplated stopping by your place about five hundred times before returning to his own apartment, sauntering in through the hallway littered with photos. He wasn’t always a nostalgic or ‘feely’ guy, but when it came to his friends and family, he liked to have a reminder of who was behind him through it all. He passed photos of his parents and siblings, of childhood friends who stood the test of time into adulthood, and of Jared and Misha.

Jensen took pause in front of one taken about a year ago, of the two of you on set in Impala. You were nestled under the crook of his arm, tucked into his side and holding him around his waist, but your face was beautifully lit up with laughter. Your eyes were closed, and a brilliant smile made your cheeks a rosy tint. He had just told you what was probably the lamest joke in history, but it tickled you to well into tears after the photo was snapped.

Trust. Laughter. Safety. Excitement. Love. Everything he’d ever want in a relationship—and it was right in front of him.

He couldn’t wait anymore, he had to jump in.

.....

Jared bounded down the front steps in his Sam Winchester attire and clapped Jensen on the shoulder, “Hey man. You gonna take my advice?”

A grin fell upon his lips as your car slipped from view, “Yeah… Yeah, I am.”

<Series Masterlist / Part 10>

A/n 2: I received an anon ask when I was looking for fic ideas(see below) for a Jensen x actress!reader fic a while ago, but recently got hit with a spark of inspiration. This is based off of the song “What if I Said” by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner and will be a short mini-series. Also there is a wife mentioned in some parts, but I purposefully left this person nameless as to not insinuate anything for Jensen’s real life.                                                                

Anonymous said: Hi! Just saw your post about looking for fic ideas. I’ve had this idea that I really like where reader is an actor on Supernatural and is friends with Jensen. They have a scene where they have to kiss or even just have to be right up in each other’s space and it makes them realize they like each other. It’s probably a common thing to write about, but I thought I’d ask anyway. Thanks!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Can I be THE FIRST person that asks for your offline h/c fic recs? 😍 hurt/comfort is my absolute FAVOURITE genre, especially if Sherlock is the one sick/hurt....I’m a terrible human I know >_

Hi Nonny!!

AHAHAHAH OKAY SO HERE’S THE THINGS:

 I just realized I lied and I HAVE actually posted some H/C fics before, so those will be below. I’ve Emotional Hurt/Comfort as well, but I’m going to assume that y’all are looking for Whumpfort, LOL.

I have a LOT OF H/C fics, and because of that, I have to split them up into manageable chunks, so I’ve currently 2 sets of H/C fics already sorted offline. Both are updates to other H/C lists I have, so I’m going to pick the longer of the two. This one has some nice shorter fics, so you can probably yum up this entire list in one day, LOL

And because you mentioned Sherlock Whump, I’ll link you to that list as well :D

So YES. I really gotta get my shit together and finally post all the chunks of H/C fics I have so that I have so I can finally remove that giant list from my Angst list LOL. ANYWAY, here’s what I’ve got for you today!!

HURT / COMFORT Pt.2: 5K to 10K WORDS

See Also:

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Doctor / Caretaker John

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 2 

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 3 

Sherlock is Sick/Hurt (Sherlock Whump) 

Sherlock Whump Pt. 2

Angsty Fluff

Self Harm, Danger Nights, and Drugs

Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil

Sick Fics Master Post (May 2019)

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Bed Sharing, PTSD John, Science, Whump, Insecure Sherlock) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John’s bed, and the one time he didn’t need one.

Winter of Life by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 5,178 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff & Angst, Magic Realism) – It was an experiment, really. On Christmas, Sherlock wrote to Santa asking for a friend. He got a broken toy soldier instead. This is the story of how he finds him again and again.

I think You Need A Doctor by TheGoodDirector (M, 5,254 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Sherlock Whump, Mistaken Couple, Humour, Platonics, Mary is Nice) – John’s not been to Baker Street in four months and returns to find a bleeding Consulting Detective. John can’t help but take care and put up with him. Set after The Sign of Three/Before His Last Vow.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Sleepless nights by El loopy (T, 5,467 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares/Insomnia, Panic Attack, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock has a nightmare and John wants to know what it was about. Set during season 1. Three-shot.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Sherlock Holmes, RELATIONSHIP: n/a by blueink3 (M, 5,533 w, 1 Ch.. || Hurt John/3G, Fluff & Angst) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. Part 1 of The Emergency Contact Series

Recovery by thesignsofserbia (T, 5,948 w., 1 Ch. || HLV-Fix It / Rewrite, Villain Mary, Pining Sherlock, Major Character Injury, Scars, Self-Hatred, POV Sherlock, Doctor John, Friends to Lovers) – Set after the confrontation with Mary, and Sherlock’s cardiac arrest, John stays at 221B to aid Sherlock’s recovery, forcing them to confront wounds both old and new as they try to heal their damaged relationship.

Not The Hands That Kill by You_Light_The_Sky (M, 6,201 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock, Whump, Mentions of Drug Use) – Having wings does not make Sherlock Holmes a guardian angel, not in the way that John Watson is his.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, H/C, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

Life and Death by patemalah21 (K+, 6,457 w., 3 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Sherlock POV, Sherlock Whump, Fun With Words) - Sometimes a small incident can lead to unexpected results. Sherlock and John explore their friendship. A bit humourous in this too, ends with a giggle.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

When We Sleep by PrincessNala (K+, 6,660 w., 1 Ch || Post-TGG,  Alternating POV, Bed Sharing, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort, Hugs) – Sherlock needed to feel every beat of his heart, every rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It was the only way to completely assure himself that John was alive and right there next to him, and not dead, no, never dead…

Bound Into the Fire by Tara Laurel (T, 6,672 w. || TEH, Suspense, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Bonfire Scene, John Whump, Mary is Nice) – “John sometimes compared Sherlock Holmes to the flaming beast in his mind…Not such a bad way to go, John mused. Being consumed by Sherlock. Dying in his fire. No. This was different. He was burning alive. Not figuratively. Not some flowery metaphor. Burning.” There was no two minute stay of execution. “Amazing how fire exposes our priorities.”

Lost for Words by notactivesherlockaccount (T, 6,709 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Temporary Mute John) – While on a case, John temporarily loses his ability to speak, and he and Sherlock have to find a new way to communicate.

A Kiss and a Cuddle should be Sufficient by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 6,853 w., 3 Ch. || Gay Sex Club, Fake Relationship, PWP, Orgies, Rimming, BJ’s, Violence, Case Fic, Voyeurism) – Going undercover, Sherlock and John pursue a vicious killer to a gay group sex party. Not unexpectedly, things get a little out of hand. Set after Baskerville, but before the Fall.

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – ‘I should warn you,’ Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.’ And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

Not Alone by taliapaxton (K+, 7,034 w., 6 Ch. || Angst, Friendship, MCD, Euthanasia) – Alone on the Water from Sherlock’s point of view. Inspired by the wonderful fiction, “Alone on the Water”

Inconvenient Timing by TheMadKatter13 (M, 7,072 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega John/Alpha Sherlock, Romance, Public Heat, Scared John, Protective / Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Post-TBB AU, Caring Sherlock, Pre-Slash, Happy Ending) – When John’s heat failed to appear three times in a row after he was shot, he figured it was just another broken piece off the broken toy soldier. So he was rather surprised to feel it start out of the blue…and not at all pleased with it starting while he was on the tube.

In Which “John” Becomes a Synonym for “Help” by asignoftwo (T, 7,391 w., 1 Ch. || Injured John, Worried Sherlock, Fluff) –  After the fall Sherlock returns to Baker Street and is reunited with John. When John is injured on a case Sherlock is faced with the reality that he could lose John again, and it tears him apart.

Drowning in Darkness by chappysmom (T, 7,575 w., 4 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped John, Post-TRF Hiatus / Reunion, John Whump, Angst with Happy Ending, Depressed John, Background Case Fic) – He couldn’t decide if it was a relief or a curse that he’d been left completely, absolutely alone. You couldn’t fight darkness with your fists, and no matter how strong your will-power, it could be beaten down by the constant monotony of nothingness. Nobody needed John.

On Favors and Keeping Score by Ewebie (G, 7,622 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, Fluff, John Whump) –  John woke up to the horribly unpleasant sound of his clock alarm. Which meant he’d slept through his phone’s alarm. And for a moment he glared blearily at the noisemaker before smacking at it with his palm. Ugh, he felt like rubbish. The back of his throat was burning with the irritation that heralded a proper dose, his nose was threatening to drip every few seconds, and he had the uncomfortable flush that normally suggested a fever. Nothing high, just uncomfortable. Nothing deadly, just irritating. Nothing worth calling in sick with, just a full day of discomfort in the face of other people’s discomfort. It was going to be a day where he was forced to bite his tongue from telling people off. “You’re not as sick as I am, so off you pop.” Part 7 of Tumblr Shorts

Sometimes When We Touch by kedgeree (M, 7,755 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, Inappropriate Giggling, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Virgin Sherlock, John Whump, Touching) – John might be touching Sherlock a little more often than is strictly necessary. Sherlock probably hasn’t even noticed. Right…?

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn’t play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w., 5 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

A Dangerous Mix by thebakerstreetgirl (K, 8,077 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Whump, Drugs, Hurt/Comfort) – During a case, John gets attacked and Sherlock and Lestrade find him with a mysterious drug running through the army doctor’s veins.

Beyond the Vow by tunteeton (M, 8,994 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-S3, Explosions, Mary is Good-ish?, 3G, Infant Death) – Being a sociopath was never this emotionally exhausting.

With This Ring by Quesarasara (E, 9,121 w. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Embarrassing Hospital Visits) – Sometimes even the best of plans go wrong. And sometimes wrong turns out to be exactly right.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – … And one time it didn’t matter.

Incapacitation by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 9,424 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Sick Sherlock, Doctor John, Appendicitis) – The doctor had just asked how bad the pain was when the pain spiked. Sherlock’s initial response was a gasp that evolved into a whimper. “Ten,” he gasped. “Ten…”

Drive by lifeonmars (M, 9,537 w., 1 Ch. || Virginity, Awkward First Times, Minor Injuries) – John and Sherlock are stranded by the roadside, and John is injured. They need to spend the night in the back of a humvee. Sherlock is confused. John is understanding.

[kjimagine]

Behind the scenes - Sweet Pea

Request: “Hi there!! I was wondering if you could do a sweet pea imagine where the reader is Josie’s understudy in the musical and sweet pea never really noticed her because he was too focused on Josie and after he hears her sing “fight for me” to him in the musical he falls head over heels for her and keeps trying to be nice and protective of her because she’s small and quite..? Sorry I know that’s a lot”

Pairings: Sweet Pea x reader

Warnings: small panic attack and Reggie Mantle being a creeeeeppppppeeeerrrrrr

Summary: Sweet Pea can’t help but take notice of you when he catches you singing “fight for me” in the role of Josie’s understudy in the musical. Over the next few weeks, you take notice of the lingering stares you can never seem to catch and the significant disappearance of trouble around you

N/A: its literally like they just said “serpents”? “Sweetpea”? don't know her, and threw my boy out the window. Also, i might edit this later and add to it UPDATE: I EDITED AND ADDED MORE

Despite your role of leading understudy in the Riverdale Highschool musical production of Heathers, you still attended every practice. Of course, that decision was influenced by Kevin and Fangs. In the chance that something went wrong, which would certainly not be an absurd occurrence in Riverdale, they needed you to be prepared.

You spent most practices sitting on the floor by Kevin and Fang's table, catching up on classwork and playing stupid games on your phone that made the time pass faster. The last 30 minutes of practice, were always designated for you. That was your time to shine.

Josie didn’t really deserve the leading role, at least,  that what your parents had told you many many times over. There were certainly people who agreed, Betty Cooper for example. Others would soon come to this conclusion too.

“(y/n), when the basketball guys get back in 10 minutes, you’re up,” Kevin smiled down at you. You smiled back in confirmation.

The start of the musical season, at Riverdale, always interfered with the end of the basketball season. And thus, all basketball players were late to musical rehearsals. Fangs still managed to be around for some musical practices, this was actually the first he had been able to attend in two weeks.

“Kevin, I don’t see the point in her practicing, no offence, y/n, if she’s not performing,” Josie complained.

“Why don’t you focus on yourself instead of worrying about y/n, God knows you need the practice,” Cheryl scoffed. Putting a hand over your mouth, you tried to hide your laughter. Josie scoffed and rolled her eyes at Cheryl in response. Cheryl sent you a wink from across the room.

Cheryl and you had never been more than friendly to each other, a few hellos’s in the hallway, helping each other with a few questions and equations for class occasionally. Her desire to defend you against Josie was a surprise, weren’t the two of them friends?

Kevin sighed and shook his head the interaction between the two girls. “Alright, take five. When we come back (y/n)’s up.”

Right on cue, in walked Sweet Pea and Reggie. The two of them definitely didn't seem like the musical type, but none the less, here they were.

Reggie scanned the group of theatre kids and when his eyes met yours, a smile grew on his face.

Reggie mantle was like the plague. Nobody wanted him to be there, but there he was; He was behind every door you opened, around the bend of every corner, he was in every class you have had since freshman year.

Reggie Mantle didn't know what the phrased “go away” or “leave me alone” meant.

An audibly loud sigh left your mouth when he started toward you. Sweet Pea chuckled lightly at this, the annoyance present in your body language. 

“How’s my favourite girl?” he grinned wrapping his arm around your shoulders. 

You shrugged his arm off and took a step backward, “Not your girl, Mantle; not even your friend.”

“Ouch,” Reggie winced, holding a hand to his chest in mock hurt. Cheryl and Toni laughed from beside the two of you. You and Toni made eye contact briefly, sending each other a small smile.

“Give it up, Reggie. You’ve been chasing (y/n) since freshman year and she doesn’t even want to touch you with a ten-foot pole,”  Cheryl snapped. Wow, she really did have your back today.

“She’d touch me, isn't that right, (y/n)?” he grinned taking another step toward you. You grimaced at the pearly white teeth poking through his menacing smile, a chill travelled down your spine.

“Your doctor doesn’t even want to touch you, Mantle, give it up,” Toni snarled.

Kevin let out a puff of air in frustration, “Alright, back to work,” he redirected the group. 

With a small sigh you made your way up onto the stage, Josie stomping her feet on the way to her seat behind you.

You were never one for creating drama, Riverdale surely had enough of that, but if Josie continued to complain about your involvement in the play, there was going to be a problem.

“Alright, (y/n),” Kevin clicked his pen four times, “Fight for Me.”

You watched as Ms. Grenvell reached her hands out and started playing the introductory beat on the piano. Taking a deep breath in, you were ready.

Why when you see boys fight Does it look so horrible Yet... feel so right? I shouldn't watch this crap That's not who I am But with this kid… Daaaaamn

Josie rolled her eyes at you from her seat in the front row. Her legs kicked to sit over each other. Her arms crossed in annoyance.

Hey, mister no-name kid So who might you be? And could you fight for me Hey, could you face the crowd Could you be seen with me and still act proud Hey, could you hold my hand And could you carry me through no man's land It's fine if you don't agree But I would fight for you If you would fight for me

The serpents had never been around long enough or even interested enough to learn your name, but they certainly were now. The rise and fall of your voice was angelic, your articulation exquisite. 

Toni’s face held shock, Fangs’ held admiration, and Sweet Pea’s held a smile. Pea may have not known much about Riverdale High or the people who attended it, but he certainly wanted to now.

                                                       ∘  ♔♔♔  ∘

The halls of Riverdale High had been quiet all week. The absence of Riverdale’s very own Mantle the Magnificant’s presence really put into perspective how little interaction you had with your fellow students. You had friends, but with the amount of Reggie Mantle that usually hung off your neck, they chose to keep their distance. 

Reggie Mantle hadn’t tried saying anything to you in two days, he hadn’t even looked at you. For the first time in 2 years, you didn't live in a constant state of uncomfortable. And while Reggie’s lingering eyes had stopped, they were replaced with a new pair. Only this time they weren’t bad, they belonged to Sweet Pea.

You have never had a conversation with him, maybe a few head nods and small smiles here and there. When you heard that the Southside Serpents would be attending Riverdale Highschool, not even your greatest and wildest dreams could have brought your current reality to life. 

Sweet Pea, arguably one of the toughest Serpents of his age, despite what his name claimed, took a liking to you. As cliche as it sounds, you were so painfully oblivious.

Sweet Pea spent months scaring the scoundrel’s of Riverdale High away from you. He spent months trying to figure out how to talk to you. He spent months trying not to fall deeper in love with you.

You spent months, for the first time since freshman year, hanging out with your friends and enjoying yourself. You spent months unbothered by the chaos of Riverdale. You spent months blind to Sweet Pea’s excessive starring and attempts to talk to you.

That was until one fateful day in January. Everyone had just arrived back from the break. And teens out of school surely meant trouble in Riverdale. The rivalry between the Serpents and the Bulldogs had been brewing, things were getting tense.

Slamming the door to your locker shut, there he was, Reggie Mantle, in all of his ignorance. With the roll of your eyes and sigh, you turned to look at him. Reggie slowly pushed you against the lockers, a smirk played on his lips. Your breath hitched in your throat at the unwanted contact.

“Miss me?” he grinned, hot breath fanning your face.

“Definitely not, Mantle,” you groaned. You tried pushing him off but to no avail, he still stood uncomfortably close.

This interaction must have been enough to push Sweet Pea over the edge. The next thing you knew, Sweet pea’s fist was hitting Reggie's face and Reggie’s face was hitting the floor. Your hand flew to your mouth, eyes wide.

Toni and Fangs stood nearby, along with a few Serpents who stood at each end of the Hallway to watch for teachers. A few students cheered as Sweat pea’s fists reconnected with Reggie’s body again and again and again.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Mantle,” Sweet Pea yelled pulling Reggie up to his face by the collar of his shirt. “You bother (y/n) again and I’ll beat you to a pulp,” he spits. With that, he drops Reggie’s collar, the boy’s head hitting the ground harshly. Sweet Pea looks over to you, but when the two of you make eye contact, he freezes like a deer in the headlights.

Someone yells out that Weatherbee is coming, but with all the yelling in the hallway, and the bulldogs emerging from god knows where, you get lost in the commotion.

Your back hits your locker as your eyes try to make sense of the scene in front of you. Your chest tightens and your breathing shallows, you wrap your arms around yourself.

A warm hand grabs yours, and you’re pulled away from the loud fighting crowd in the hallway of Riverdale High. The hand is large, it incases yours entirely. You can’t see much as you’re lead through the crowd, but you’re able to make out the slicked greasy hair and the worn leather jacket of the serpent in front of you.

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x11 - Linger

Quick note: I am SO sorry at how painfully late this is. I wasn't able to watch on Monday night because the police helicopter decided to sit over my apartment yelling loud threats to peaceful protesters when the episode aired politics. And then I had late meetings for work Wed and Thurs. And weekend things. Excuses, excuses though. I will try to do better next week this week.

EPISODE SUMMARY:

SECRETS AND LIES -- Driven by the prospects of her scientific research, Liz (Jeanine Mason) opens up to Diego (guest star Cleo Anthony) about all the good her findings could do. Meanwhile, Max (Nathan Dean) enlists Kyle's (Michael Trevino) help getting to the bottom of the recent abductions, while Michael (Michael Vlamis) does his own investigating into Alex's disappearance. Elsewhere, after learning more about her mother Louise, Isobel (Lily Cowles) pays a visit to Rosa (Amber Midthunder), in hopes that Rosa could help her begin to heal. Franklin Vallette directed the episode written by Ariana Quiñónez & Deirdre Mangan.

DETAILS:

Liz and Diego flashback from Denver the night he proposed. The science:

"Administering a lethal dose of radiation to observe a particular neoblast… It's a regenerative master cell. The only one with this protein. I mean, this particular cell was able to multiply, diversify, and reanimate my worm."

"Wait, so observing the master gets you the underlying mechanisms of tissue regeneration."

"Then I apply the mechanism to human tissue, and irreversible injury and degradation become distant memory. I know this isn't going to happen in our lifetime, but this could be a step to help."

Diego proposed to Liz in the lab at nearly midnight. She didn't seem to see the proposal coming, but she also didn't hesitate to say yes.

A neoblast is a part of a worm. I was so disappointed. I thought it sounded like some badass science thing.

Um...everything Liz is talking about is REAL. Check this out!

Present time, both Max and Liz waking up by alarm after falling asleep working.  Liz's lab work we know a fair amount about and there's nothing specifically revealing about her wake up, but Max's is more interesting.  Max fell asleep, while writing alien symbols in his journal.  There's two empty vials of antidote in the box we saw last week (though we know he took one at the end of last week's episode.  There's also an empty bottle of acetone.

Max, Liz, and Isobel at the Crashdown. Isobel used her powers to get in and apparently immediately put on antennae and made coffee. 

Max immediately reacted when Liz said she was with Maria. Which, note that it is a little odd that Maria is out of town with Crash Con starting, given her pitch last episode and the relevance to her business. 

Now Liz is saying I love you to Isobel too. Once the floodgates open they really really open with her 

"Non-binary intimate companion" 😆

Butyricol has apparently only been used in one highly classified military trial.  What's interesting about that detail to me is that if it's highly classified, how do we know that? All Diego told us last week was that it was only approved for military use.  In order to know that it was only used in one military trial, you'd have to know the details of the military use which, if it's highly classified, would be nearly impossible to get your hands on - even for a senator's son.  IMO, this is probably a bit of a plot screw up/narrative leap.

Liz references Charlie's bioweaponry expertise. Which we, the audience, know about from 2x04, but we didn't actually see Charlie explain any of that to Max and Liz...all she said in 2x08 was "a lot of people want to know what I know."

We are reminded that Alex is out of town, hence why no one is worried about not hearing back from him.

Michael tells Sanders everything they learned about Louise last week & then finds Alex's napkin from Jesse stuck to his boot, with blood on it, and immediately reacts.

Isobel mentions Rosa's sketchbooks in front of Diego, which was risky.  Diego didn't seem to react either, which is weird.

Diego and Liz in the Crashdown.

"Ah, doing some molecular gastronomy."

"Oh, got to stay on top of trends these days. Everything needs to be Instagrammable."

"Look, I was thinking...I bet butyricol uses inducible diphtheria toxins to stun the memory expression neurons into paralysis. See, of we can counteract that, we can get your friend her memories back."

"Would it boost GABA in DLPFC?"

"See, no, you're thinking working memory, not recovery. Think traumatic memory."

I am not smart enough to explain the science in this scene so:

Michael finds Jesse Manes in Alex's house.  Jesse pulls his gun, but Michael uses his powers to disarm him and throw him to the ground.

"You told Alex Tripp gave you this in 1987. That's before the Crashdown ever used this logo."

Accurate, based off of the flashbacks we saw in 2x09. However, how would Michael know that? Unless he has studied the history of the Crashdown Cafe, he wasn't even born yet in 1987.  Unless they changed the logo much later. It would be way more plausible to me for Alex to know that detail than Michael, as someone who spent his childhood hanging out with Liz.  Michael didn't even live in Roswell until 2001.

"I just found out that Alex never made it to Andrews Air Force Base last week.  He's disabled. He has PTSD. So I'm concerned about him."

Isobel tells Rosa that Arturo is lying low.  Which explains why he's not working during Crash Con.

Isobel explains to Rosa why she came. Love that Rosa knew it had to be about Isobel wanting something.

"I am curious about what's in your journals...I didn't really read anything.  I'm trying this new thing where I don't follow every selfish impulse."

"But you still looked.  What are you looking for?"

"Myself.  So to speak. I'm curious about what might be in there from the whole Noah thing."

"You can look.  And if you see something that you want to know about just ask. I'm probably going to tell you to mind your own beeswax, but, you know, shoot your shot."

Kyle and Max in the Wild Pony:

"I was suspended from work today. Craziest thing. I was accused of stealing hospital resources for personal use. There might even be a criminal investigation."

"Look… you're a good person. You probably deserve for me to leave you the hell alone, which is why I wish I didn't have to ask you, but I'm concerned that Project Shepherd might be tied to these abductions."

"You can't ask Alex?"

"He's out of town… Look, I'm just trying to find out who's hurting people."

"I hate having a conscience."

Diego & Liz in the Crashdown kitchen:

"Oh come on, you know damn well no one uses eggshells on purpose in any kind of cooking. You met my meemaw. Don't insult me. You're making calcium carbonate. Is this about regenerating worms?"

"Kind of. I'm testing out a theory. I know I have to recreate it in a sterile environment later, but with my dad laying low in peak tourist season, I haven't been able to spend as much time in the lab."

"The lab that made you sign an NDA. Which is where again?"

"Nice try."

Diego and Liz Flashback #2, celebrating her research grant and study publication:

"The groundbreaking research led by Elizabeth Ortecho is the future of biomedical engineering."

"This grant changes everything. I mean, there is so much more that we can do now. We are really gonna save lives."

"I'm so proud of you. Oh...my God. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I'm fine. It's just...when I was a kid, I felt trapped in my life. I was just thinking about what this would have meant to me then. To know that the person I am existed. This isn't what the world teaches girls like me to dream."

"What would you do… if you could do anything?"

"I want a Nobel Prize."

"Strong start. Okay what next?"

"Citizenship for my dad.  I want him to not always have to be so scared. And I want to be less angry. I'm angry so much of the time."

"Anger's not so bad. It reminds us that something's not right. And then we change it. And you are gonna change everything. I'm so glad I get to stand beside you while you do."

Back to present:

"Wait, I don't think that's fully…"

"Why are you helping me? I mean my dad, but me."

"You sound like my girlfriend. Naomi was also surprised that I would rush to Roswell to help someone who bulldozed my life."

"I really wish I would have handled things differently."

"But if you had, I wouldn't have Naomi. I mean, I have a good life, Elizabeth. I'm happy. I do miss you at work though. There's really...there's no replacing you there."

"Yeah I get the feeling."

"So wouldn't it feel really good if you would just tell me what your secret experiment is?"

"Hypothetically, let's say there's this rare blood disorder that affects one in four million people. No research, no treatments...Do you remember my planarian neoblasts with the regenerative proteins? So I…" fades off.

Max & Kyle in the bunker

"Searching for the term butyricol. What makes you think it's got a connection to Project Shepherd?"

"The drug was developed by the military. And the only other clue we have is a fractal burn pattern, which is an alien thing."

"And Project Shepherd is in the middle of your alien-military Venn diagram."

"I know. It's a long shot, but it's all I have right now."

"I'm surprised you haven't asked to see this sooner."

"Yeah, I'm still figuring out how much information I want to know. I mean, you ever wake up from a night of drinking and not want to know what happened the night before in case it's worse than you imagined?"

"Like if I don't remember Taylor Swift drag night at Planet 7, then it didn't happen?"

"...When this is done, why don't you let me give you a lift over to Liz's lab? We can load up the stolen equipment so you can return it. She's not using it."

"Nah, we don't have to do that."

"I mean, your handprint gives you access to their security system, right? So, you know, just get in there and return their stuff. Maybe they'll go easier on you if they have it."

Jesse and Flint (in front of Michael)

"Flint, what did you do with your brother?"

"Drop the gun...you can't pull intel from a dead soldier."

"I'd be careful kid. I taught you everything you know, but I didn't teach you everything I know. You wouldn't have showed up unless you wanted my attention. Well here I am. Where is Alex."

"He's safe and sound. I know how concerned you are about his safety. That why you had him locked in the basement? You kidnapped him first, Pops. What do you want from him anyway?"

"You hand him over to me right now."

"No. This time I outrank you, and I haven't granted clearance."

"You outrank me."

"You went soft. My entire life has been about destroying the aliens. That's all I've done.  Develop weapons, develop strategy. Fighting for our species, 'cause you told me."

"I was wrong."

"You can't do that. I don't need you for this, old man."

My question: how much of that was real and how much of that was staged? It seems like it was staged at the beginning, but then it also sort of seemed to go off the rails. It's really unclear to me just how involved Jesse is with Flint and Helena's plan. I'd like to believe a lot. But who knows? One thing I'm fairly confident about though is that Jesse is NOT who initially took Alex from the junkyard. The figure is all wrong for Jesse at the end of 2x10.

Michael uses his powers to steal Jesse's cane and whacks him over the head with it.

"You had him in your basement? What, you took him last week after you got that piece of alien tech from me? He's a loose end. If we got him back from Flint, you were gonna kill him. You are barely human! When I was a kid, I thought maybe because of my high IQ, my species was superior to your. Then I fell in love with your son. And I didn't feel superior anymore.  I am angry. And smashing things, it's easy. Alex has evolved past that. He's past you! And he's past me. Despite you slapping him around, shoving that Manes Man crap down his throat, he still loves. He even loves you. You don't deserve to call him your son."

Max and Kyle trying to get into the lab.

"I was deceased when they made the guest list."

Gah plot issues.  How did Max manage to sneak up on Liz in the lab at the beginning of 2x08 if he doesn't actually have access? 

"Maybe Liz was still pissed about the pollen in my mom's perfume, had Alex revoke my access?"

Yet another plot issue.  Why would Alex do that, even if Liz asked? He and Kyle were teaming up before he even knew that Liz knew about aliens. It makes zero sense that Alex would do that. It would have to be a spite thing from Liz because of her argument with Kyle in 2x09 and there's no guarantee she even has control over the security access for the lab. 

"If Diego was able to find out about this butyricol through his fancy connections, maybe it wasn't a Project Shepherd or Caulfield trial. Maybe it was legit military."

"Military would have some use for something that would erase state secrets from people's minds. They can't spill to the enemy."

"Or you could erase bad memories from soldiers coming home. Or it could be a weapon."

"Erase an army's memories...they don't know what they're fighting for anymore."

"Project Shepherd hasn't been legit in years, so what does Flint Manes do, officially, for the military?"

"He's a weapons specialist. He could have access to biomedical trials."

"Let's go. Find out what he's up to." 

Liz and Diego

"My team at my research facility, we found a rare protein. A mutated gene. You know what? I've said too much. You probably think I'm delusional anyway."

"No, you're not delusional. Elizabeth Holmes was delusional."

"Yeah, well, at least Elizabeth Holmes had funding."

"You can get funding."

HBO recently did a whole documentary on Elizabeth Holmes. I haven't watched it yet, but she seemed craaaazy in the trailer.

Flashback 3, Liz finding out that she lost her funding.

"The second we move from worms to human cells, they pull our funding and that isn't fair."

"I think you should reconsider the Genoryx grant."

"What difference does it make? Every research facility in this country answers to the same uber-conservative Department of Health and Human Services."

"Well, whoever's funding Genoryx isn't super concerned about FDA guidelines. They're above the red tape.  Look, you can start saving the world now."

"I can't do anything shady or secret. I have too much to lose."

"My God, Elizabeth. You don't always have to be this perfect daughter of a perfect immigrant!"

"Yes I do. Because the imperfect daughter is in a box at Frontier Valley Cemetery."

Back to present:

"Genoryx has more money than they know what to do with."

"Just because your office has ping-pong tables and hyperbaric napping chambers, does not mean that Genoryx isn't unethical."

Note: up until this last line it was implied that Diego and Liz were actually working together in the lab.  This line implies that wasn't the case, that Diego actually works for this Genoryx. Which sounds sketchy.  Related to Deep Sky maybe?

Graham Green's interruption, which is certainly going to be relevant to one of the final episodes:

"Greetings, Graham Crackers! Today, a private citizen pledged a donation to the museum that will change the course of human history. At closing night, 7:00 p.m., main stage, I will unveil the most astonishing alien artifact I've seen in all my years of collecting."

Michael chases down Flint Manes, uses his powers to puncture his tire, disarm him, and toss him to the ground.

Isobel and Rosa discussing Helena:

"This is the post-high school chapter, which is really just a big burn book on my mom. Finding out my dad wasn't my dad was bad. It was Liz's senior year when I dumped my drug dealer boyfriend, and I went to this NA meeting. I think that was the first time that I ever actually wanted to get better. But still, I wore a hoodie, I sat in the back, I made myself really invisible. I was...high at the meeting. You can see it if you want to. Jump in."

What Helena says in Rosa's flashback:

"The drinking started when the man I loved left me. That was almost 20 years ago. And I still see him every day. I see him in the street, in my business, but I can handle that. What I can't handle is when I see him in our daughter's eyes. Sometimes I think if we didn't have a child together, I might not hurt so much all these years later. I might not still love him, but I do today. So I drink, and I take pills. And I try not to look my daughter in the eye."

Back to present: 

"Why did you want to show me that?"

"I cannot relate to marrying a body-stealing alien sociopath. You're kind of on your own for that one. But I know that you're feeling messed up over not knowing your real mom. And I guess I just feel like it's worth saying that I wish I knew mine a little bit less."

Note: Again, how does Rosa know any of Isobel's identity issues? I guess we're supposed to assume that either Liz told her about it all, or that she and Isobel are having long, deep, phone conversations on the side?  Because everything that happened with Isobel trying to learn about Louise happened while Rosa was in rehab. 

The Spanish:

"Javi, la migra. Cuídate. Te llamo mas tarde."

Javi, immigration. Beware. I'll call you later.

The ICE officer from 2x10 comes into the Crashdown, threatens, and insults Liz. Liz first tries to get them to leave by offering them free coffee to go, and then the floodgates open and she starts fighting them.  Diego finally convinces them to leave by telling them that the Acting Director of U.S. Customs and Immigration Enforcement is a personal friend. At least the jackass learned how to pronounce her name properly since last episode!  I don't really want to transcribe their insults so I'm gonna leave it at that summary, though if you need me to, just send me an ask.

Kyle and Max search Flint's house. Key points:

Inconsistency! Max's hands are bare when he picks the lock to break into the house, but then he puts gloves on (off camera) when he's searching. But if the point was to avoid fingerprints he just left them all over the door!

Kyle finds a thumb drive that catches his attention for some reason. It's labeled Yucca Blooms LTD. Just as a side point, the Yucca flower is the state flower of New Mexico.

Max finds something in the trash that catches his attention, but we don't see what it is until the end of the episode. 

They get interrupted by a car pulling up and hide in the closet (paralleling Liz and Kyle hiding in the closet in 2x04).

Max finds the sniper rifle in the closet, which was shooting at him and Charlie when they rescued Cam in 2x08. (But Max shot the sniper...just a point.)

Kyle says Max smells like rain.

Kyle spots the hunting van pulling away from Flint's house.

I lied, you can see Max pull the box from the trash can.

Rosa calls Helena's house to hear her mom's voice.  Dirk answers & says:

"Helena? Helena is that you baby? Oh if it is please come home. We've been so worried. I love you so much. If this is the bastard that took her, I hope you rot in hell, you son of a bitch."

Note: why would Rosa have Helena's phone number? That is such a silly plot point. They wouldn't let her see Helena in 2x07 so why would they let her have her phone number? Why would she WANT it? This one kind of bugs me.

In the car driving back to Roswell, Rosa speculates that Helena was abducted leaving town.  Either that or she bailed on her family.

Rosa says she's not done with rehab and wants to go back once they know her mom is ok. Isobel actually seems concerned and asks if she wants to stay longer. Rosa wants to stay until she's better.

Isobel on money, answering one of fandom's oldest questions:

"Listen, Noah was a treacherous, serial-killing alien, but he did have a happy knack for day trading. And… I've been trying to figure out what to do with all that money he left behind...I want to be better too. The more that I learn about Louise, the more I want to be like her. She was a good person and she made a difference. Someone told me recently that they saw a lot of her in me. I really want that to be true."

They stop at the junkyard since Michael is not responding to Isobel. Which...doesn't seem all that out of character for him?

Michael and Flint chatting while Michael violently tortures him:

"So this is the perk of being a weapons specialist, huh?"

"If this is your attempt to convince me that you aren't a horde of violent invaders here to colonize a planet that isn't yours, I mean, you're doing a really bang-up job."

"You know, I was a good kid. I wanted to be an agricultural engineer. Maybe have a couple kids, start a dad band. But then I was provoked. And now I'm this. Maybe there's still hope for you. Your brother Gregory's living a peaceful life teaching kids, staying jacked on the res. And Alex…"

"Alex is a traitor. He'll be court-martialed when this is over."

"So he's still alive?"

"You were early."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, my father demanded a meeting. I had just left Sanders' Auto."

"If you hurt that old man!"

"I wouldn't touch him. Okay? He's a hard-working American. I was just leaving you a note. And I took Alex because I knew it was the best way to get you to cooperate. Alex will be fine as long as you do what I say. If you disobey,  make my day any worse, Alex will die knowing you are the reason. So why don't you untie me and apologize. We'll go from there."

Note that this scene is where we learn the source of the fractal burns.

Diego's last pitch to Liz:

"Listen, Genoryx invests in their people. You are valuable. I'm sure they'll sponsor Arturo's path to citizenship if you just sign on. In the meantime, you can work in a sanctuary city."

Max and Liz's fight:

"Kyle and I connected butyricol to Flint Manes. So I called Alex's other brother Greg, and he said that Flint has this property outside of town. He drives a massive hunting van, Liz. He was the sniper the night we found Cameron."

"Have you called Alex?"

"No, Kyle's on it, but there's something else. I found this in Flint's trash."

"This is the box my dad kept my abuelita's ring in until my mom stole it."

"I got the ring back, but she kept the box."

"Rosa called earlier. She was worried about Mom. I said that she probably just bailed like she always does. Okay, if Flint used Jenna to get to Charlie because Charlie builds bioweapons, what does he want with my mom?"

"Maybe he's trying to get to another bioengineering genius."

"Well, that's not gonna work. I don't care about her… Max, what's going on? You're being cold."

"This is a serious conversation."

"No, don't do that. What's going on?"

"I know Maria left yesterday. I saw her and Mimi off from the Wild Pony. So I know you didn't spend last night helping her process. And you certainly didn't spend last night here. I didn't push it this morning because I trust you, and everyone's entitled to their secrets."

"If this is about Diego you're way off base."

"I wish this was about Diego. Why is Kyle locked out of your lab? Why did you tell me that no one's accepting your applications when you've turned down two research grant offers? I found the papers in my trash."

"Because I don't want to go back to that. Okay? I brought you back to life and now I don't want to go back to worms and mice and rats and hoping maybe my work will help some other scientist revolutionize medicine decades from now."

"What kind of work are you doing, exactly?"

"I'm developing a rapid treatment for a rare blood disease. Kyle's girlfriend is sick and I want to help repay him for what he's done for us."

"So this is just about Kyle's girlfriend and then it's over?"

"If I can cure her, the possibilities are endless. I can adjust it for other illnesses.

"Adjust what exactly? Alien DNA? Liz, my God. Like, let's say you're right and you find some miracle cure-all in alien spinal fluid and then that information falls into the wrong hands?"

"It won't because it's in my hands. Max, I love you, I love your family. I am asking you to trust me with this."

"No you're not asking me anything. You haven't asked me about any of this. You just got caught in a string of lies."

"I guess it sucks, huh? When your partner doesn't include you in major, life-altering decisions?"

"Are you angry at me for bringing your sister back?"

Not gonna lie, I laughed out loud when Rosa walks in at this moment.  When, literally, another alien brings Rosa back." Rosa & Isobel's reveal:

"Well, there is new information."

"We found this on Michael's trailer."

"Flint didn't abduct my mother. This is Helena's handwriting. They're working together."

Just one more little detail about the note... It's the same Roswell postcard that Cam's fake note from Charlie came on in 2x04. Different handwriting though.

Kyle and Steph:

"Is it true? Have you been stealing from the hospital?"

"Steph…"

"Yeah. #nofilter. I can't get my hands to work lately, which makes getting the top off my makeup kind of hard. But we can talk about eye shadow after you answer me. Have you been siphoning hospital resources for God knows what?"

"It's not that simple. Yes, I've gone against hospital policy to treat people who can't get health care."

"Yeah well, this isn't a victimless crime, Kyle. My dad. He's been getting so much heat about supply shortages. His personal genome machine getting stolen out from under his nose. Do you know how much it's costing him to keep me alive right now? How much it would cost if he lost his fancy insurance?"

"I hadn't thought about that. I'm gonna return everything. That's why I'm here right now. To apologize. And to say goodbye. I am definitely going to lose my job, and after I confess to everything they're definitely gonna press criminal charges."

"Yeah well, your mom's the sheriff."

"And if you'd met her you'd know that means I'm really screwed. I wish you'd met her. She'd really love you. Goodbye Steph."

"Show up for your shift tomorrow...Yeah the thing about dying? Your dad's willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. And I don't want you to lose your job, so."

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't. I'm still mad at you. Close the door on your way out."

Helena and Michael after she injects him:

"It's a special drug developed at Caulfield. It won't harm you at all, but you won't be able to use any telekinesis until it wears off. It'll keep you honest."

"I want to see Alex."

"Oh, you will. After you build me this bomb."

MUSIC:

Note, normally I get my music list straight from the source - the show's music supervisor shares it on Twitter @cmollere. But he didn't share this week because politics. So this week I pulled it from here:

Pasado Es Pasado - LMS

Makeup Counter Girl - Powerslide

Summer's Over - Pillbox

Just a Human, Being Human - Joey Sykes

The Last Man in Tujunga - I See Hawks in L.A.

Matter of Fact - BUVA

Take Me Someplace - Joey Sykes

Fade Out - Vicious Kiss

It's Easier to Run Away - Joey Sykes