#also that makes future chs awkward.

[premamelody]

wait dang it i made J a memorial member bc i assumed she'd jump to protag side

a few things

one i don't have to draw N in a dress

but two

I WAS ALMOST ON IT IN THE HAPPY FUTURE AU

SHES FLIPPED THE SCRIPT PRETTY MUCH AND I LIKE IT. the fact that the og wasn't like gotten rid of completely is funny to me but also different

i might legit be able to work the ending into the au. i might like be able to genuinely. like. this might still work.

but unfortunately now i gotta rename it to the "Bad Future" AU simply bc the og solver comes back in control of its own body again. funny how this flipped everything around

also also ummm. rip Cyn? ig. from the way it ends, idk why. not a Season 2 but just. kinda like maybe other media to add on it. idk. maybe it was left that way for theorizing purposes and stuff. either way the ending is good.

im shaking

give me a few minutes and this will wear off bc idk why but i just didnt feel some moments. and before you say it no its not the nuzi bonk that is funny ah to me. ill be able to saw it when the excitement wears off

[sugusoneandonly]

Quixotic - STSG - ch 1

satosugu x fem!reader . ft. model!gojo & designer!geto

next

!! do not repost/copy on any other platform !! if u do at least lmk where and give creds 😒 !! pls don’t tho <3

cw: power dynamics/imbalance?? ,, established!stsg (no cheating) ,, webtoon inspired & lwk self-indulgent 😞 ,, y/n may be unlikable idk ntm on her guys 🥰

exes to lovers (gojo) ,, one-sides enemies to lovers w geto ,, very feminine + slight meek reader??

a/n!! :: hi this is my first fic ,, have mercy <33

some prior info for now i will add more later (and clean it up)

- not much of an age gap, suguru is js very successful at a young age.

- takes place 2 years after their breakup (mc | satoru)

- y/n is currently a fashion major in her final year of college and fortunately lives near her college and the shadowing program.

- the general plot is y/n is shadowing (following around, studying, etc. not rlly working for him

- NOTTT really real life accurate 🥰

Had you known that coming across your biggest idol would come along with meeting your oh so beloved ex, you would’ve thrown away whatever dreams had clouded your ambitious mind. Yet lo and behold, in front of you stood one of the most renowned fashion designers in the industry with your ex-boyfriend hanging off of him as a price tag (a very expensive tag for that matter).

Suguru Geto stood with pride as his spine and extravagance as his feet, hair that could’ve been painted with the midnight sky half up while the rest cascaded down his back. With an arm on his shoulder, and hair that would make the moon had Suguru’s been the sky, stood Satoru Gojo, your beloved ex. Both men dressed to the nines, outfits that were worth your monthly rent each.

You had cursed the creak of the door that had announced your entrance when you saw them. Gojo however, remained unaware of the stress that climbed your body. Instead, his lifted his eyes to meet yours, blinking back yet letting a small grin tickle his face. “Y/N!” his voice had drawn Suguru’s eyes to follow his line of sight like a siren.

Now, you and Gojo hadn’t had a horrendous break-up (although it’s after affects on you weren’t quite so), in fact it was rather peaceful (while it lasted). Gojo had called your 2 years of love off when he decided that he wanted to pursue a bigger, grander, future, one that apparently hadn’t included you. While he had wanted to go out, meet new people, flitter about the industry, the strain of a relationship had left awkward stains on his work. Especially certain modeling gigs that made him some extra cash.

It was your final year out of college and as one of the top students in your major, you had been provided a shadowing opportunity with various fashion designers to mentor the new rising generation of fashion. However, the pairings were randomized and the last person you’d expect to be yours was one of the greatest and youngest designers, who was also rumored to be your exes lover. How romantic. You had come across Geto’s work originally in a magazine for your project, and had looked him up online. While doing your extended research, you had seen the bright face of Gojo on several of his posts wearing his designs. Immediately you fell in love with his success, ethic, and designs. Dresses so intricate and suits embellished, as if they had walked straight of the manhwas you read.

Geto’s brow had raised at the mention of your name, no doubt familiar with it and the story that may have came with it. His eyes pierced through you, a small hum and what appeared to be a shadow of discontent danced over his face before it went away. He had leaned closer into Gojo after a thorough inspection of you. the rumors hold true then

“Hi.” slipped through your lips at last, however, meek. You feel 12 again showcasing your painting to the old judges in an art contest. Not an ounce of professionalism. Perhaps it wasn’t to late to run out yet.

“Y/N? I heard lots about you” Suguru’s voice came out like silk drowned in a snakes hiss, anxiety bubbled in your blood. “Good things I hope..I look forward to working with you..?” His lack of facial response had you lost in which direction to move this conversation. Instead of a response he simply hummed at looked back at the paper in his hands. Gojo, just as awkward standing beside him.

I wanna go home

©sugusoneandonly 2024

next

[fadedin2u]

pick up and roll the dice - ch. 3

read in between the lines, i know you love me…

summary: you plan a surprise for ellie’s birthday, and ellie’s doesn’t know what to do about her overwhelming feelings for you.

content: college!au, childhood best friends!au, dealer!ellie, fem!reader, modern!au, ellie is a simp (not surprising), ur also a simp, art major!ellie, kinda slow burn??

word count: 2k

warnings: none really for this chapter!! expect nsfw chapters in the future so MDNI 18+

notes: it bums me tf out how little attention ellie fluff gets on tumblr, but i love writing this series, so if u like to read it, like/reblogs are SO appreciated

read chapters one and two here!

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

The day after the party, Ellie’s a wreck. She barely got a wink of sleep that night, unable to stop ruminating on how much she’s fucking up her friendship with you by having this soul-consuming want for you. It’s not like Ellie doesn’t know how bad this could all end. You’re not only her closest friend, one of the few people she actually trusts, but you’re her goddamn roommate. If Ellie fucks this up, there’s no escaping the awkwardness that would inevitably ensue, plus risk losing you completely.

So, she texts Kylie.

E: hey, sorry for going MIA lmao, things got busy, would u wanna grab dinner w me on friday?

Ellie sits down on her bed and rubs her temples. She doesn’t even like Kylie very much, but she’s available, and she’s clearly interested in Ellie, so at the very least Kylie can be a distraction from you.

Ellie feels a black hole of guilt swirling in her stomach from leading Kylie on, but it dissipates as quickly as it came on when you burst through into dorm, kicking off your shoes that you wore to your morning classes. Ellie, usually, is still asleep when you leave for classes, but this morning, she was just lying in bed, completely awake, as she listened to you getting ready, pushing through your hangover.

“Happy 20th Birthday eve!” You exclaim, giving Ellie a bright, cheeky grin.

She rolls her eyes, trying to conceal her smile, “You’re such a fucking dork.

You shrug and laugh, “Hey, it takes one to know one.”

You notice the dark circles under her eyes and frown slightly, “You look like shit.”

Ellie huffs a laugh, “Thanks.”

You sit across from Ellie on your own dorm-style twin bed. “You’re free tomorrow, right?”

Ellie nods, “I’m getting breakfast with Joel that morning, but yeah, I’ll be free after.”

You grin, and mischievous look on your face, “Good.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow, “Should I be worried?”

You shake your head, “Nah, you’ll love it. I just can’t wait to see your reaction. Just make sure you’re here at the dorm by 5pm, okay?”

Ellie puts up her hand, raising two fingers, “Scout’s honor.”

You snort, standing up to walk to the bathroom, “That’d probably mean more if you were actually a Scout.”

Ellie scoffs, “I know way more about survival than any of those dipshits, I’m basically an honorary scout, if you think about it.”

You rolls your eyes and laugh, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Els.”

—————

The next day, Ellie’s playing the guitar that Joel made her for her birthday when you walk into the dorm at 5pm sharp.

“Happy Birthday Ellie-Bellie!” You exclaim, knowing her deep-seated hatred for her childhood nickname as you throw a handful of streamers in her direction.

She keeps herself from laughing, “You’re cleaning that up, right?”

You give her a look, “No, I was planning on making you my maid on your birthday. Now come on, we need to get going!”

She puts her guitar to the side and stands up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her t-shirt and cargo pants with her hands.

“Is that from Joel?” You ask, motioning to the guitar.

Ellie nods and smiles wide, “Yeah, he made it for me, it’s super sweet.”

You examine the guitar’s craftsmanship as Ellie laces up her converse.

“You’re not driving right?” She asks.

You give her another look, “I have to, it’s a surprise destination. You can’t drive somewhere you don’t even know you’re going to.”

She groans, “And to think I didn’t even give Joel a proper goodbye.”

You kick her shin playfully, “Shut up, you’ll be fine. I’m an… okay driver.”

Ellie starts walking out of the dorm building with you, “Does an ‘okay driver’ almost commit vehicular manslaughter twice?”

Your face goes hot, “Those kids appeared out of no where, and I stand by that. Besides, the key word is ‘almost’, babe.”

Ellie doesn’t look convinced.

“Besides, you get to be my passenger princess for today,” You say with an obnoxiously cocky grin as you walk into the parking lot.

Ellie rubs her face, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

You giggle and walk up to your car, opening the passenger door for Ellie, to which Ellie rolls her eyes at, but you can see that she’s trying not to smile.

You hop in the driver’s seat and say, “Birthday girl gets aux.”

Ellie plays a lot of 80s music during your drive into the city to her surprise destination, her taste in music developed during her years living with Joel. Halfway through Take On Me by A-ha, you pull into a parking lot.

You and Ellie get out of the car and you start leading her to a large building. Once you two can see the sign that reads “The Hansen Planetarium”, a giddy grin breaks out on Ellie’s face.

“Oh fuck yeah, we’re going to the planetarium?!” Ellie asks, walking faster.

You laugh and catch up with her, “What can I say? I know my girl.”

Ellie’s face goes a bit pink and she tucks some loose hair from her half-up bun behind her ear, “Yeah, I guess you do.”

You show the person at the planetarium’s front desk your confirmation for the tickets you bought beforehand, and you go inside.

Ellie stops to read nearly every blurb that’s written in front of each display, and you patiently wait for her, wanting her to take her time and fully enjoy the experience.

In between reading and examining the exhibits, Ellie is listing off factoid after factoid.

“Y’know, Neptune’s only made one full orbit around the sun since its discovery.”

“There’s actually some gravity on the International Space Station, which is kinda weird honestly.”

“Dude, do you know that the moon is really shaped like a lemon?”

You raise an eyebrow at that one, “You’re lying.”

Ellie laughs, “I am not! It’s fucking crazy! It looks round in the night sky, but I swear on my life it’s really shaped like a lemon.”

You shrug, still doubtful but accepting that Ellie’s probably not wrong, knowing her long-time obsession with space.

By the time you’ve made it through the all of the exhibits, Ellie is a little bummed.

“I almost wish there was more to look at, I don’t wanna say goodbye yet,” she says and your lips quirk up into a knowing smile.

“Yeah, it sure is too bad that there’s nothing else to do. On an unrelated note, follow me.”

You lead Ellie to the entrance of the Dome Theater inside the planetarium, and Ellie’s eyes light up when she reads the sign.

“Rock the Dome? Dude. Is this a laser show?”

You laugh and nod, glad that you guessed correctly that Ellie, the nerd she is, would be genuinely excited about this.

Ellie pulls you into a tight hug, “What the fuck? You know me too well.”

Your cheeks go hot and you giggle a little, “Well, at least we can agree on that.”

You give the Usher the tickets you pre-paid for, and let Ellie pick your seats in the Dome Theater, the night sky projected onto the curved walls surrounding you.

When she sits, you sit next to her and she immediately grabs your hand.

“Thank you. Seriously. This is… Genuinely one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.” Ellie says, squeezing your hand with a soft look in her eyes.

You squeeze her hand back, hoping you don’t look as flustered as you feel. “It’s seriously no big deal, Els. You’re my best friend, you deserve this.”

Ellie looks down at her lap and smiles a little, but doesn’t let go of your hand as the laser show starts, fog machines starting to pump out misty clouds into the room that makes the light from the lasers almost look solid.

Your mind is racing as the music comes on, mesmerizing the crowd with the lasers dancing in coordination, ‘This is platonic, right? This has to be platonic. Ellie’s just being appreciative of what I did for her. Jesus fucking Christ, maybe this isn’t platonic?’

You decided to not think about it too much at that moment, and try to enjoy the spectacle of color and light before your eyes.

———

The show included a lot of classic rock from the 80s, including Queen, the Stones, Bowie, Talking Heads, and The Clash. Ellie was awestruck, singing under her breath to every song that she knew, while you tried not to smile too big at how cute she was being.

By the time you two are back at the dorm, Ellie is completely over the moon.

“This was seriously the best birthday I’ve had yet. A new guitar from Joel, planetarium, and a laser show? This day fuckin’ ruled.”

You giggle and go over to your closet, “Well, it’s not quite over yet.”

Ellie narrows her eyes, “No way. You’ve already done so much.”

You pull a thin, wrapped gift from the top of your small closet, and bring it over to where Ellie’s standing.

“I wanted to do so much,” You say, rubbing the back of your neck.

Ellie takes the gift from you and sits down on her bed, intrigued.

“Can I open it?” She asks.

You laugh, “No, I just brought over your birthday gift so you could check out my wrapping job. Go open it, dumbass.”

Ellie chuckles and tears open the wrapping paper, her face morphing into shock as she sees the Special Edition “Savage Starlight” comic book in her hands.

“Holy fuck,” Ellie says, staring at it a second longer before nearly lunging forward to hug you.

You stumble back a bit, laughing as you wrap your arms around her as well.

“I’m guessing that was a good choice?”

Ellie guffaws, “Are you fucking kidding? It’s perfect. How the fuck did you find this, dude?”

You shrug , smiling to yourself, “I have my ways.”

Ellie pulls back from the hug, her freckled face a little pink as she looks back down at the comic book.

“This is too much. Like, way too much.”

You shrug, “Once again, you deserve it.”

Ellie looks down, smiling to herself, “Still. You’re just… This is so fucking thoughtful.”

You laugh a little, feeling flustered by this whole interaction, “What can I say? I have a lot of thoughts in this head, I gotta make good use of them.”

‘So fucking dumb, oh my god,’ you think to yourself, wincing at your response.

Ellie rolls her eyes at you, but her grin is huge and pure. “I’m gonna use the bathroom super quick, but do you wanna read it with me after?”

You smile wide, sitting on her bed, “Absolutely.”

Ellie races to your shared bathroom, and as she’s gone, you pull out your phone and scroll absentmindedly.

You’re pulled away from your phone when you hear Ellie’s phone buzz on her bedside table, right next to you, the screen lit up.

Before you have time to shame yourself for intruding on her personal business, you glance over at her screen, where a text is shown:

Kylie: I would love that! :) what time were you thinking?

Your stomach fills with dread and complete embarrassment. You should’ve known better than to think that Ellie holding your hand was anything more than platonic, that Ellie would ever see you more than her best friend. You knew that Ellie has never, and will never see you the way you see her, and you still let yourself get butt hurt over something as stupid as her getting a text from someone else.

‘I’m so fucking dumb, this is my own damn fault for getting my hopes up.’

You try to go back to scrolling through your phone, but your churning stomach keeps distracting you from thinking about what’s on your own screen, still thinking about the text you saw on Ellie’s.

When Ellie comes back in the room, she tears open the plastic packaging on the comic book and tosses herself onto her bed, pressed against you.

You move away from her slightly, “You ready?”

Ellie’s chest pangs with slight hurt, seeing you distance yourself from her.

“Uh, yeah! Let’s see what the Traveler’s are up to this time,” She says, trying to cover up how let down she is that you clearly don’t want to cuddle with her as usual.

You cross your arms and legs, leaning against the wall against Ellie’s bed. You’re barely able to see the full page of the comic book, but you don’t really care, it’s not like you’ll be able to think of anything except for that text.

Ellie glances over at you, her face crestfallen as she bites her lip, before pulling it together and getting into her “narrator” voice.

“The year is 2186, light years away from planet Earth…”

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

read texts w/ reader and ellie here

i realized i don’t have a taglist for this so lmk if you’d like to be added!

taglist: @elsbabyxx @mikellie

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Young Master Shield's Chapter 209

TL;DR - Lily worries about failure and disappointing her family. Everyone reassures and supports her. Cale meets academy staff and is overwhelmed by the welcome. Effric keeps saying stuff that makes Cale embarrassed. Sui and Alberu laughing at Cale's situation. A wanderer gatecrashes the event.

Lily's Worries The first quarter of the chapter was about Lily. She was happy that her brothers were attending, but also worried about her future. Like what if she failed? Fortunately, everyone was supportive of her.

CH said with a sincere and gentle smile that he couldn't study and was bad at it. Basen told her that he was bad at swordsmanship. And Cale told her that it was fine to fail. Her family would not be disappointed in her even if she failed. Awww~ 🥰

Effric's "Attacks" on Cale The entire chapter after Lily's part was so hilarious. Effric, the president of Roan Academy, dealt several blows on Cale that made him feel so embarrassed. And Raon's comments that his human's eyes kept shaking added to the fun. 😂

Effric: *bows at a 90 degree angle* It's an honor to meet you, LORD CALE! Cale: ... Various deans from other departments: IT'S AN HONOR TO MEET YOU! Raon: Human, your eyes are shaking! Effric: A lot of people wanted to hear your speech, and we barely managed to reduce it from the tens of thousands who wanted to. Cale: (Huh? How many thousands?!) Effric: We cleared all schedules today for your speech! Hahaha! Raon: Human, your eyes keep shaking! Effric: I'm sure you'll be a great role model for the students. And for us adults too! Hahaha! Raon: Human, why is your smile like a shrivelled persimmon? Effric: I am looking forward to it, Lord Cale. No, Commander Cale. Hahaha! Cale: ...Yes... I'll do my best...

Cale: *sees the academy plaza* Effric: What's the matter? Cale: It reminds me of the capital's plaza. Effric: You're right. It was modeled after the capital's plaza. Cale: *freezes* Effric: *smiles* I guess you remember that time. Cale: ...Pardon? Effric: Where the legend began. Cale: *freezes again* Effric: *talks more about Cale's shield legend in the capital plaza* Cale: *awkward smile*

Embarrassed Cale Next part was funny. The way to the podium had a red carpet laid on it, and Cale felt embarrassed walking on it while thousands of eyes were watching him. Raon's comments weren't helping him either, especially the one about how Sui kept laughing for some strange reason. Cale could only mentally curse and hold it in. 😂

Cale was dressed in his black commander uniform, so the students were very excited. And when Cale met eyes with a knight student, the "Shield" chant began and spread all over the plaza. Cale was embarrassed again, and Raon made it even funnier again.

Raon said that Alberu had arrived and was laughing out loud at Cale... 🤣🤣🤣 Poor Cale... 🤣🤣🤣

We did get some thoughts on Cale about his past. His KRS self found school life as dull, and he found speeches boring, so he decided to keep his speech short. And also a line about original Cale not having gone to school because he was busy acting like a trash.

Speech Curse is Real We were all expecting the speech, right? Unfortunately, Cale's speech curse is back! 😂 Anyway, we find out that CJS actually headed back to report to GoD after his time on the Central Plains. Cale had messaged GoD, asking to send CJS and reporting about his finding of the Five-Colored Bloods being like wanderers, but GoD ghosted him... 😂

As for the speech curse...

Cale to the students: Nice to meet you. Raon: Human, CJS is here! Cale: (Okay, I just greeted them...what now?) Raon: CJS said it was urgent! He said he could sense another wanderer nearby! Water AP: The sky is strange. Cale: *looks up the sky and sees an incoming black dot* Cale: (Is that a person? A wanderer? No, why is this always happening to me?) Cale: Damn it.

Ending Remarks I loved today's chapter. Reading about an embarrassed Cale is so fun~! 😂 And the speech curse at the end! 🤣🤣🤣 Given the chapter title, I guess we'll see the return of Cale's shield legend next chapter. I can't wait for Friday to come!

[onomatopagu-et-cie]

Some (too many) mental notes & questions about D. Gray-man!

(SPOILERS UP TO CH. 247 & sorry if the terms used are awkward esp. the localization of the manga, I read it in french!)

I recently re-read DGM as the new chapter came out. I stopped catching up after volume 22 years ago and I am so glad I re-read the series!

If it was already beautifully sad and cruel, the volumes 23 to 27 hooked me even more. Like other manga (eg. Witch Hat Atelier, Berserk), the panel composition was already beautiful in the previous volumes but I was fascinated through my reading. The attention given to hands in these volumes (like MHA) was mind-blowing!

The Allen-Kanda-Johnny-Link group (and now Tiedoll) works really well, I didn’t expect that at all! Oh, and the character development/decline of every character is great, especially Allen & Neah, Kanda & Link (and Cross and Road in those flashbacks?????).

DGM wouldn’t be DGM if the mysteries didn’t keep growing even more cryptic as the story unfolds, so I guess here are some notes and questions I’ll come back to one day to see if they are answered!

► Now that we know the D. in DGM stands for ‘Dear’ (I already sense the tragedy in the title for both Allen and Mana aaaaa), I don’t know if this was intentional, but Mana in front of the mirror strongly reminded me of The Picture of Dorian Gray, especially the end (I shouldn’t have read this scene late at night, I was spooked haha). The characters of Allen and Neah, shrouded in mystery, also encapture the elusive personality of Dorian Gray.

► Paying extra attention to all the parallels between the Ghost of Mater & the Artificial Exorcists Arcs was Pure Pain. I’m always amazed how far the details go and make (even more or a whole new) sense later on.

► Lenalee and Komui’s story touched me once more aaaaaa ► Miranda’s power is really cruel, I wish we could see more of her someday ;;

► Road used for super-human the word ‘choujin’, which also seems to refer to the concept of übermensch in japanese ie. the ideal superior man of the future who could rise above conventional Christian morality to create and impose his own values... NOW THAT IS INTERESTING.

Especially regarding Road and Cross meeting & Allen’s prophecy as the ‘Destroyer of Time’ (the fact he could ‘sense’ Lenalee’s dream and interact with it, Cross ‘death’ by Apocryphos hands, past!Allen’s mystery over his rejuvenated body, Apocryphos observation on ‘Allen’s’ long existence as a parasite, and so on …)?????????????

And could she have a link to Allen and Lenalee’s dream of the future?

► The overarching theme of humans, akuma, Noahs and even the Earl at God’s/The Heart’s mercy manifests in many little plot points eg. the Ghost of Mater (that could even foreshadow the whole Cross/Road meeting), Road dressing Lenalee as a doll, Lenalee and Miranda taking their suffering as the Innocence testing them, Link turned into a puppet, Crown Clown and so on …

► Could this be Campbell’s mansion Allen will visit in the next chapters… ?

► Reever’s devotion to Komui ;;;;;;;;

► Fascinating how everyone except Allen is at risk of becoming a Fallen One, despite everything he does ‘against’ the Order, God and the Innocence: it could be explained by the role he was given by the Heart now that we have a bigger picture And it is foreshadowed since the Suman Dark Arc:

-> When Allen says Suman betrayed ‘God’, the kanji for god is used (kami), but the furigana read as Innocence:

And Allen even says later the Innocence punishes sinners as God itself, devuring Suman from the inside like a worm ……….

-> While Komui says he has betrayed God and the furigana read as God this time:

I love the word plays in the original versions with the furigana (I wonder if this has a name?), another example:

The kanji for family, kazoku, is read as the english « home », which we always saw used to describe the Order as a comforting place to return to: the Order was never Suman’s home, he always longed for his family

► Will this ever be explained? That, and Cross's special bond to God or the Heart!

Also this????????

AND ALSO CROSS HATRED FOR TIMCAMPY???????????

► Could Cross be a Bookman?

Neah’s flashback mentioned an ‘excentric uncle’, so it could also be Cross, given how he remembers Mana’s smile from his childhood, I am Confused Or he could be their childhood friend, as his appearance in the flashbacks suggests he would've had the same age past!Allen, Neah and Mana would have, around 35yo? Idek anymore! Either way, he has an obvious hold over his age like past!Allen, maybe through magic or their nature?

Was the unknown language Bookman spoke when the Ark was disappearing in the sky the same Mana taught Allen? In Komui’s corner, we learn Bookman knew in advance they would synchronize with an Innocence when their mission began???????? Do they somehow have links to the Heart or Apocryphos? Are they from the doomed world Road told Cross, as some sort of witnesses of the Noah's struggles on behalf of God?

► Tyki’s nature is hinted at by Road even as early as ch. 93, and the confrontation with Neah in the volume 26 makes me really think he’s some sort of copy of him

► This panel is Pain:

► I love Lenalee and Lavi’s relationship so much!! Lavi’s arc was gripping, and took Lenalee’s words on the boat (‘am I still in this world?’) to a whole new context

► About Luberrier :

How in hell was he aware of the 14th without even Cross telling him? His dialogue with Zuu before saving Link strongly suggests he knew the 3rd gen. project would cause the Noah attack on the laboratory and the 14th awakening, isolating Allen, as though he made a deal with a Noah or sb else. The ch150 (Hevlaska and Luberrier’s past) is haunting me, I’m really curious to see where this is going!

► About Link : We know so little about his past, how he became a Crow, how his devotion was built by the Administration (Link’s flashback with Luberrier after recovering was scary, how easily he gave in & Luberrier’s whole behavior was ugh)! Komui’s corner mentions the two red dots on the Crow’s forehead are scars left by the operation that made them sorcerers against their will + Allen tried to touch it, which made him mad GAHHHHHH I NEED MORE CONTEXT

Ch247 hurts even more considering Neah used the same words as Allen to greet Link but rang false aaaaaaa

Link’s profile is cut from the Central Administration’s organization chart from volume 25 (when he admits feeling conflicted over Allen’s fate), before his profile was included in the same box:

Komui’s corner once mentioned comforting food thanks to the emotional value they hold eg. Allen and Cross’s porridge. Link says he had something similar so I wonder if this will ever be showed in the manga!

► About past!Allen: This might be a reach, but ch221’s flashback made me think Atuuda’s magic (its symbol in particular) can be linked to past!Allen with the whole spiral of life theory (+ the fact his body rejuvenated by some miracle):

There are also many parallels with other dynamics in the manga: -> Neah-Cross & Mana — he was set on eliminating anything else that draws near Mana, as a promise he made to Neah -> Luberrier-Link & Neah-Allen — Luberrier needs Link in order to protect and save them from anyone -> past!Allen & Neah — he promised Neah he would protect his memory from anyone (-> Kanda & Alma — he was the only one that could save Alma)

(I don’t want to think about Link potentially becoming another host for Neah, sacrificing himself for Allen for example aaaaaa)

I saw Hoshino’s sister loves Link’s character and what happens next to him will potentially be pure pain, I get her because his potential is skyrocketing and I’m definitely not ready aaaaaaaa

► What was even going on between Neah and past!Allen???????????????

► Allen’s past was really devastating. Mana’s words by the sunset ;;;;;

► In ch216, Cornelia’s wood destroys Timcampy in a similar way Red is bound eyes and ears from the scene when the Earl comes back in the circus in the recent chapters (with those little black hands)

► The parallels & oppositions btw Kanda & Link (the potential of the trio Kanda-Allen-Link!!!!!) : -> both presented in a negative light at the beginning -> both now deem themselves unworthy to be a part of Allen’s life: Kanda is glad Johnny is there to support him, Link says he will disappear from Allen’s life if he defeats the 14th (and also That Panel when he saw Allen come back to his senses and save Johnny). Both have feelings they suppress when it comes to Allen, in a stark contrast with Johnny’s honesty -> both were objects of experimentation/intensive training but Kanda feels no loyalty to the Order, while Link does strongly to Luberrier -> both wound up with a shortened lifespan they hide atm (Kanda as a Fallen One & Link with Atuuda) -> both were targeted by Apocryphos and had their memories rewritten -> Kanda wants to kill the 14th, Link is ordered to aid him -> hands shown as holding dominion over them both (the Innocence, Luberrier and the Heart)

► Predictions for the next chapters: Since Johnny is going along with Allen & Link, there’s a chance : 1) Link will drive Johnny away so Neah wakes up ; 2) Neah will do it since he sees everything through Allen’s eyes and even challenges Link’s ‘loyalty’ 1) would be logical as everyone in Allen’s group feared it while Allen accepted the risk but given the whole arc, Link seems VERY conflicted over the whole matter (and their shoujo-esque reunion damn, that and volume 25 whole vibes) Also Road seems to have led Allen to the mansion through his dream because she thought he was dangerous (????) AND a ‘bookman’ was there, so a lot will happen!

Have a nice week-end!

[duhragonball]

Chainsaw Man ch. 48-52

Gosh, I wish that was me.

Last time, Chainsaw Man got suckered in by a cute girl named Reze, who turned out to be some sort of assassin with explosion powers. Now they're fighting it out, but Denji's usual strategy of "hit them with chainsaws" is kind of ineffective against someone who can repeatedly self-destruct and regenerate.

Parts of Reze's transformed body look like a mass of cables, maybe primacord. One of her fingers gets cut off and it's still stuck on Denji's chainsaw after their next exchange, and she uses it like a bomb. I'm not clear on how her powers work exactly, but she seems to be able to remove any part of her body and use it like a bomb, or just blow it up while it's still attached. Also, she seemed to have a duplicate body she used as a decoy, so good luck explaining that one.

The point here is that the explosions are just the beginning. Reze knows how to use her abilities in a very tactical way. One might assume that she tried to seduce Denji because she was too weak to challenge him directly, but we see here that this was never the case. She just wanted to try a subtle approach, but that was never the only option.

But fighting Denji in the open means you also have to deal with his comrades in Public Safety. Aki lops off one of her hands just when it seems like she's beaten Denji, and then she has to fight him for a while. Recall that Aki has a new power courtesy of Future Devil, which gives him a slight insight into the future. This allows him to anticipate his opponent's actions, although he doesn't mean he'll necessarily be quick enough to do anything about it. Still, it's enough to keep him alive while he duels with Reze, at least until...

Violence Fiend shows up to pull him out of harm's way. Violence Fiend tried to fight Reze earlier, but he got overwhelmed and ran away. I'm seeing this a lot with the Public Safety guys. They'll sometimes just turn tail and run, then come back when you least expect it and actually do something useful. Is that cowardly? I guess it depends on how you look at it, but if Violence had stood his ground earlier, he proabably would have gotten killed, and Aki would have died later on with no one to rescue him. These guys pick their spots. They're hunters, not warriors, so it's kind of ridiculous to expect them to stand and fight their prey when they're at a disadvantage.

Anyway, the key thing here is that Aki says this is the first time he ever wanted to be friends with a devil. So at long last, he's beginning to come around to the things Himeno wanted him to understand. Aki's grief, his craving for vengeance, and his absolute disdain for devils was working against his ability to fight and survive in this line of work. Now, as the story picks up steam and the battles become more desperate, he's learning to be more flexible about his attitudes.

Violence might have been enough to turn the tide here, except Reze has her own backup in the form of Typhoon Devil, who was also after Denji but they seemed to be working independently of each other. They crossed paths back in Chapter 43, and it was all awkward becuase they got in each other's way, and Reze told Typhoon to obey her for a while to make it up to her. So now she's calling him in.

I... feel like I should have more to say about Typhoon Devil being a pile of viscera with baby legs and a baby head with an exposed brain sticking out of its broken cranium, but... I kind of don't care? I don't know if I'm just desensitized at this point, or maybe the design really isn't that big a deal, but I feel like it should be.

Anway, Denji recovers once Beam and Angel feed him more blood. Notably, Angel Devil uses blood from a fatally wounded civilian, and he mercy-kills the lady before taking her corpse to Denji. That's important because Aki asked him to do something similar earlier in this arc, and Angel refused, more out of apathy than defiance.

Angel suggests that Chainsaw needs to step up his game, and asks Beam to tell them everything he knows about Chainsaw, since he seems to know him better than he lets on. Beam mentions that he used to use his chains to get around. I'm not sure what this is referring to, because it's like he's talking about the Chainsaw Devil before Denji got this power, and... well, that's just Pochita, right?

I think the implication here is that Pochita used to be a much more fearsome creature before he met Denji, and Beam might be the only one who remembers this. Anyway, I think it's pretty clear that he was talking about Denji swinging around and using his chains like Spider-Man webbing, but Denji's an idiot so he puts the chain in Beam's mouth and rides him through the air like a horse.

But it does look pretty awesome, so maybe he's got the right idea, I dunno. Denji doesn't tell me how to do my job, so I shouldn't tell him how to do his.

During all of this, Typhoon Devil produces a storm, and Angel Devil is nearly carried away by the high winds. Aki catches him, but can barely hold on, and Angel's like "Just let me go, I sort of want to die anyway, it's cool."

But Aki refuses to give up, so he grabs Angel by the hand, which is a really bad idea, because Angel's touch will automatically drain a human's life span. That brief contact alone took two months off the time Aki has left, but it was the only way to save Angel. Angel asks him why, and Aki tells him that he's seen too many people die already, and if Angel really does have a death wish, then he should make sure to die while Aki's not around to stop it.

Okay! Right there, Aki finally started to turn this around. He's actually having a character moment with Angel, and growing as a person. He's matured, but more importantly, he's rubbed off on Angel a little. Angel's actually cooperating without Aki around to force him to, and Angel actually seems to care about other people around him. That's because of Aki.

And this is a good thing. I'm still not very high on Aki right now, but at least he's finally reached a threshold where he feels like more than just a bystander. His personality is still "I don't want people to die" and "I want revenge on the bad guy", which is pretty flat, but at least he's having an impact on the plot now.

Back to Chainsaw Man, the reason this storm kicked up is because Typhoon's trying to defend himself (and Reze) from Denji. Earlier, Denji managed to cut off one of Reze's legs, and Typhoon spit some of his blood at her to help her recover, but now Typhoon's on his own while he waits for her to heal. The thing is, Typhoon's so big, and Beam is so agile in the air that Denji can hit him with ease.

So Typhoon goes down, and then Reze divekicks Beam to take him out of the fight, so we're back to Reze vs. Denji. Only this time, Denji's figured something out. When she blows up one of his arms...

... he shoots out chains from his stumps, and attacks her that way.

He tangles her up and wraps them both together, then falls off whatever they're standing on and they fall into the ocean. Apparently Reze can't detonate underwater, although I'm not sure how Denji would know that.

And then, Reze wakes up on the beach. Since Beam is there too, I guess he pulled them both up to the surface. Reze is surprised that Denji didn't kill her, but he explains that he would have regretted it, so he spared her.

He thinks there's still something between them, even though she keeps insisting that she was faking it the whole time. But if she was so determined to kill him, why didn't she finish him off at the school when she had the chance?

Denji still can't quite believe there was nothing between them, so she briefly feigns affection again, then breaks his neck to incapacitate him. Denji can recover from this, but he can't move until he does. Anyway, he tells Reze he'll see her at the cafe today at noon.

Except she doesn't show up. I'm not sure why he thought she would. I guess it's just wishful thinking? Someone does arrive, though...

And it's Power, returning to duty after her blood-draining procedure. She's back, and she tracked Denji down by his scent. When she sees the flowers, she tries to take them for herself. It's not clear that she plans to eat the flowers, but that's what Denji does, so I just assumed she had the same idea.

So what did happen to Reze? Well, she tries to flee to... somewhere? Maybe she's headed back to that cafe to try to take one more crack at Denji? All that matters is that a bunch of rats follow her into an alley and they form a big rat pile which becomes...

Makima? So she has rat power? Whatever.

I should explain this thing she says about the country mouse. You know the Aesop's Fable about the town and country mice, and each of them envies the other's lifestyle until they try to live there and find out it's not so great. In this arc, Reze brings it up to Denji, and Angel talks about it in a separate scene. It... kind of went over my head, but the characters seem to agree that being a Town Mouse is like being in the Public Safety scene, and being a Country Mouse is like living a more tranquil, normal life as a civilian. Denji is team Town because he likes the excitement, while Angel is Team Country because he hates working for Public Safety. Reze said she was Team Country, but I think that was just to convince Denji to run away with her so she could murder him.

Anyway, Makima apparently heard their conversation, as indicated by her line that she agrees with Reze about Country Mice. But Makima likes it because she has a friend on a farm, and every fall she goes down to help him exterminate all the mice in the field before winter sets in. This involves digging holes to get them out of their burrows so the dogs can chase them down. Makima finds this "calming".

The point I think she's making is that the country life isn't all that different from the work she does in Public Safety, sending her "dogs" to find and kill "mice" like Reze.

Reze tries to fight Makima, but she didn't count on Angel Devil throwing spears down at her from the roof. I guess Reze might be kept alive after this, but this whole scene reads like an execution. Reze took her shot and missed, and now Makima is eliminating her before she can try again. That's a shame, because I really enjoyed Reze's whole run here, and I'd be down for more of the same.

Anway, Makima originally ordered Angel and Aki to be here together, but Angel came alone, and Makima realizes that Angel didn't want Aki to be involved with killing a girl like this. Makima praises Angel's kindness, and yeah, some genuine character development here thanks to Aki. Nice stuff.

That last shot of the mouse kind of bugs me, because I think the town mouse/country mouse was meant to be deeper than I'm able to understand. The thing is, the fable was never about which side you'd prefer. The point of the story is that you tend to take your own circumstances for granted, and assume that some other guy with a different way of life has it better. And then you step into that way of life and realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. You're going to have problems no matter where you go, because in the end you're still a mouse.

Although, the mice and rats in this story have it pretty good when you think about it. The devils in this story are only after humans and human blood. Sure, Power ate a bear, and she's probably not the only one to go after animals, but who'd waste time picking on mice? How much blood can they have? No, the mice will go on no matter how this plays out. Makima can exterminate them in her friend's farm, but they come back every year, and the mice in Tokyo aren't going away anytime soon. They'll be around long after the devils and hunters are all dead.

[aftgficrec]

Any neil& aaron recs? Not with a relationship with them necessarily as endgame but something like triptych or the one where they're on the hunt for andrew (cant remember the name rip, but i love that one)

There are a good amount of fics for Neil and Aaron — their relationship is fertile ground to explore angst or growth! The stories run the gamut from mutual disdain to familial warmth, from bad or awkward situations to quests (like hunting for Andrew together in ‘I'm leaving this town…’), from friendship to lovers and even plain ol�� sexual experimentation (see ‘triptych’). 

Though you weren’t keen on Neil/Aaron as a couple, you might enjoy ‘Every Sinner Has A Future.’ It’s friends to lovers and spends significant time developing their relationship. Find it and the fics you referenced among those featured below. -A

Neil & Aaron in situations/working together 

Aaron & Neil stranded together here

Aaron & Neil stuck in a bad situation here

‘Calm down. I look a lot worse than I am.’ and ‘climb a mountain (hold his hand)’ here

‘they who made you/they made me too’ here

‘Identity Theft’ here

‘Apart from Your World (A Part of Mine)’ (selkies) here

‘The World Beneath Our Feet’ series here

‘Crossfire’ here 

‘For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry’ here (updated)

‘If Neil, Then Fox’ here

Neil & Aaron relationship because of Andrew

Aaron & Neil rapprochement here

Aaron accepting andreil here

Aaron & Neil's talk at the cabin here

Neil meets the in-laws or foxes here

‘Did You Get What You Deserve?,’ ‘The Ash is in Our Clothes,’ and ‘common ground??’ here 

‘Married To Annoy,’ ‘head case (what to do with you),’ and ‘AJMICKEY56's Fanfiction Palooza!’ chapters 2 and 82 here 

‘Hold each other...ch 8: Time Does Things’ here

‘Muscle memory’ (completed) and ‘The Memories I Never Can Escape’ here

‘No More Fucks To Give’ here (updated)

‘Neil Fights the Foxes’ here

‘on the tip of my tongue (say something)’ parts 7 & 8 here

‘No straighter path than to struggle,’ ‘The Road Trip,’ and ‘An Olive Branch’ here

‘what even is baseball anyway’ and ‘Holding On and Letting Go’ here

‘Hold me close (in fact, bury me)’ here

‘a girl so bright she'll blind you’ here

Neil & Aaron friendship

Aaron & Neil = Andrew/Neil here

Neil & Aaron friendship 2 here

domestic fluff w/twinyards bonding + Neil & Aaron friendship here

the tumblr posts in Neil/Aaron or Neil & Aaron ask here

‘Make This Leap (Geronimo)’ here

‘Math, Exy and Middle Ground’ here 

‘every piece of you, it just fits perfectly’ here

‘i just wanted you to know (this is me trying)’ here

‘togetherness’ here

‘More Than Words’ here (updated) 

‘Ten Percent’ here

‘Tachycardia’ here; ‘Tachycardia (the My Own Soul's Warning Remix),’ ‘It's going tibia okay,’ and ‘What the fuck happened to you?’ here

‘Aaron is Neil’s doctor in the pros’ here

‘Shards of Glass’ here

‘Et tu, Doctor?’ here

‘Art Hoe’ here

‘Beach Bois’ here

‘just a footnote’ here

‘I'll Follow You’ here

‘Call the doctor ( I may need help)’ and ‘we're inside out’ here

‘Andrew Goes to Hogwarts’ series here

‘Minyards' Magical Mischief’ here

Neil/Aaron rarepair

Neil/Aaron or Neil & Aaron here

‘In The Forest (Burning Bright)’ here 

‘Winter Banquet’ here

you may also like

new Katelyn/Aaron here

Katelyn & Neil friendship here

Katelyn & Neil as siblings/lookalikes here

Katelyn-centric hurt/comfort here

Aaron protective of Neil here

Neil mistakes Aaron for Andrew here

Andrew & Katelyn rapprochement here

‘the prettiest blue’ and ‘The Photo Strip Predicament’ here

‘Nor are we forgiven’ here

‘Give Me Another Minute (to Lay Here in Your Echo)’ here 

‘coming loose’ here

‘the roads I traveled with you’ here

‘One day we'll reveal the truth’ and ‘i'm getting static from my better sense’ here

‘you're not next before forever’ here (completed)

‘Before You Drown’ here

‘Five Years to the Day’ here

‘Twilight and Daytime’ here

‘Whispers in the leaves, shadows in the moonlit night’ here

quests and situations

halloween series by zweimam [Collection, Rated T, 44426 Words, Incomplete, Updated Sept 2023]

NB: Part 1 reviously recommended in new twinyards bonding ask

Part 1: I'm leaving this town (and I'm changing my address) [40309 Words, Updated Sept 2023] Aaron tries to assimilate everything, nodding, "How do you know he didn't mean it?" "It wasn't a thought, or anything," Neil says, looking everywhere but at him. "He told me to go away, to leave and run, and I did. I'm very good at running, you see." Or: Aaron has been looking for his brother for six years. Right when he's beginning to lose all hope, he meets Neil Josten.

tw: child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: heavy suicide themes, tw: implied/referenced suicide attempt, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: detailed discussion of drug use, tw: implied/referenced overdose, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation

Part 2: I know that you'll come if you want [6170 Words, Updated Aug 2023] If Aaron has been looking for his brother for six years, Andrew has been waiting for him for longer.

The Most Unorthodox Way of Fighting Back by orphan_account [Rated T, 1683 Words, Complete, 2021]

Neil Josten is forced to pick up his shoes and run. If not for him, than for the ones who can’t.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: murder, tw: blood/gore

Tumblr Bits by gluupor [Rated T, Collection, Complete, 2019]

Chapter 8: Neil Josten: Accountant Spy [2316 Words] Whenever anyone asked Neil what he did for a living, he responded by saying he was a spy. This always was met with impressed faces and probing questions about his job.

till the bitter end on a flat tire by thewintersolstice [Rated M, 10000 Words, Complete, 2022]

neil & aaron end up stranded on the side of the road in the desert. neil wants to talk homophobia. aaron wants neil to shut up for once in his life. aka: my attempt to turn aaron minyard into someone i want to like

tw: homophobia, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Growing Sharp Edges by Leocante [Rated G, 10218 Words, Complete, 2022]

Aaron just needed some wiggling room. He didn't think he was asking for that much - a few inches of freedom, a miniscule amount of life outside of school and exy, an ounce of control over his day. Well, thruth be told, he wasn't exactly asking asking. Questions like that resulted in a knife under his neck and an unyielding 'no'. But Aaron needed some goddamn wiggling room, and he was desperate enough to ask Josten for help.

tw: attempted sexual assault, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: recreational drug use, tw: alcohol

Who is the man in the relationship? by sugaroto [Rated T, 6986 Words, Complete, 2022]

"I'm your type." Neil went on. "Then I'm yours." Aaron shot back, "You're literally fucking my twin, asshole!" "High five!" Neil said, his eyes lightening up, "We're type buddies!" Neil started laughing. "What? What's so funny?" Aaron asked. "We should get married!" Or The time Neil and Aaron got drunk and thought it'd be funny if they got married.

tw: alcohol

NB: fic meme by @sugaroto here

Momentary Disaster by JostenlovesMinyard [Rated T, 1305 Words, Complete, Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022]

Day 2: Disaster Aaron and Neil are sent to do a grocery run but Neil loses something along the way. Aaron is there to help him.

You Are So Much More Than Your Father's Son by phan_taloon [Rated T, 3143 Words, Complete, 2021, Locked]

In which Nathan Wesninski has fanboys and Neil Josten doesn't want to deal with them, but Aaron is there to save the day.

tw: panic attacks, tw: flashbacks

A Pain Never Meant to be Felt (I really suck a titles, just pretend its good.) by transandsad [Rated M, 14187 Words, Incomplete, Updated Aug 2023]

Aaron is mistaken for someone he is not and has to figure out how to pick up the pieces in the aftermath.

tw: gang rape, tw: nonconsensual touching, tw: assault, tw: graphic descriptions of csa, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood, tw: flashbacks, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: ptsd, tw: panic attacks, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: murder, tw: drug addiction

Neil and Aaron swap body’s AU bullet fic by @sadboyayeron [Tumblr, 2020]

AFTG Neil & Aaron Gender Swap hc by @sadboyayeron [Tumblr, 2020]

friendship

Oblivious series by greencherrybomb [Rated T, Collection with 2 complete works, Updated July 2022]

Part 1: Oblivious in love (3152 Words) Andrew has been pining after Neil Josten for months, but knows it wont happen. Neil doesnt even swing, so he does the only thing to protect his feelings. Ignoring Neil and eating ice cream. Part 2: Best Friends Brother (3930 Words) Neil has been harboring a long time crush on his best friend, Aaron Minyards, brother Andrew. Too bad Andrew has been avoiding him at all costs and is dating the hottest guy in school, Kevin day. Or at least thats what Neil thinks.

Dear Little Ghost by choisunsanie [Rated G, 4650 Words, Complete, 2022]

Neil Josten starts to be haunted by a naughty blond ghost.

tw: previous major character death, tw: car accidents

And I Swear And I Swear, I Was Burning Alive by Miss_Fun_Fun_and_Fun [Rated T, 1477 Words, Complete, 2022]

Neil is confronted by his ex-best friend's twin brother while still reeling from his mother abandoning him. - A one-shot, alternate universe for Fortheloveofexy's fic, "More Than Words".

tw: implied/referenced drug addiction

NB: ‘More than Words’ was previously recced here (updated)

sexual experimentation

triptych by likearecord [Rated E, 12805 Words, Complete, 2023]

Three parts, three POVS. Aaron, wondering, picks up a guy in a bar. Neil, having learned something, wants to try again. Andrew, knowing nothing, sees something he likes.

tw: explicit sexual content, tw: nonconsensual touching

friends to lovers

Every Sinner Has A Future by OfficialStarsandGutters [Rated E, 29864 Words, Complete, 2021]

Canon divergent Neil x Aaron. - Neil Josten. A shock of red hair and ocean blue eyes. Pretty faced, but nothing special. Except he makes a throwaway comment about Andrew being off his meds and it’s like everyone in the room forgets to breathe. Even Aaron, his body still and tense with surprise that he can tell them apart. Without even having met Aaron, he knew Andrew wasn’t him. That shouldn’t mean anything. Aaron rubs his sweaty palms on his skinny jeans and tells himself it doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

tw: recreational drug use, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: graphic description of overdose, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced murder

Art

monsters cuddle pile art by @emry-stars-art

au where aaron and neil are best friends first comic by @02511213942 also on twitter

when Neil tells Dr Aaron he’s fine art by @srslyarts

get in loser we’re going shopping art by @ouijacine

Josten and Aaron on press duty comic by @paradoxolotl

Aaron is a godfather comic by @paradoxolotl

[hodari-pavels-good-boy]

Espresso Chapter 3:

Vaunting

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3

Pairing: Hodari Pavel x Reader Word Count: 2.1k Chapter: 3/? Rating: E

Tags: Angst, Angst with a happy ending, miscommunication, fluff, eventual smut

A/N: This is a multi chapter Hodari x y/n story! Gender is not specified so everyone can enjoy it (though I did originally start writing it with the intention of it being a male reader lol). Tags will be updated as the fic goes. Cross-posted Here on Ao3. Fic below the cut! Enjoy :)

In the days that passed since Hodari confronted you in the mines you’ve been avoiding the Pavel house like the plague and succinctly the mines themselves. ‘It’s nothing personal’ still echoes in your head and you’ve decided the best course of action would probably be to avoid all of the southern half of Bahari Bay for right now so you don’t accidentally run into the miner or his daughter and risk catching Hodari’s ire. The message was received loud and clear the first time and you’re not exactly chomping at the bit to hear it again. You’re not one to place yourself where you aren’t welcomed or wanted. 

This clever plan however, has its drawbacks. Only sticking to the northern half of the bay has unfortunately proven to be quite a challenge. It comes with the steep price of annoyance from the town’s stern hunter who has been trying to mentor you in proper use of your new bow and you fear his patience is running thin with the various excuses you’ve been feeding him.

Your ore stash has also taken a hit with not being able to actually venture into the mines or the foothills that surround them. Thankfully you still had a decent supply set up from your excessive late night mining but it's not an expansive supply by any means so there wasn’t much to spare. This means you’ve been stuck with the less-than-ideal pickaxe you had been hoping to ditch in favor of a better one. You’d been planning on talking to the miner about the upgrade but no longer see that happening in the foreseeable future so you’ll just have to make do. 

You feel yourself cringe internally at the memory of the conversation still freshly haunting your thoughts. Thinking back on it, he didn't seem mad per se but any interaction with him is most likely going to be tense and awkward and you'd rather avoid the whole thing if you can. It’s bad enough that when you spot him in town you find yourself ducking into the nearest building to avoid any confrontation with him.

Regardless of anger, your heart still hurts and your self esteem definitely took a harder hit than you’d like to admit, even if only to yourself. Fitting in and finding your place here has been nothing short of difficult but you thought you had been making headway. If you were feeling bold, you might have even said becoming friends. ’We- I don’t know you’ floats its way back into your thoughts and you stop it in its tracks before you can spiral again. Finding out you had been very mistaken and overstepping boundaries left and right unknowingly is as painful as it is embarrassing. 

Deciding to stop the tiny pity party you've found yourself in, you get ready to head into town. You’ve been needing to stop by Zeki’s for a few things and no better time to do so than when the day is still young. Now that the weekend is here once you've finished what you need to do, you're looking forward to not having to worry for a few days and take the time to relax and soothe your hurt and embarrassment in peace. With one last quick check you leave your plot and start your walk to the general store.

As you’re making your way down the hill Sifuu spots you. “Y/n!” She calls and waves you over. 

“Good morning!” You greet as you approach her. She smiles and claps a large hand on your shoulder. “Haven’t seen you around the last few days, my iron has been running low!” she laughs. You smile placatingly and brush it aside, apologizing letting her know you’ve been busy.

“Haven't we all! Tell you what, I’ve got some extra gold in it for you if you could help me out and get me some extra for tomorrow. I’ve got an order I've been working on that’s requiring a bit more than I expected. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” She winks and you hesitate. On one hand you do want to help her and the promise of some extra coin is as good a motivator as any. On the other hand… you still aren't planning on going anywhere near the mines anytime soon. ‘Well good bye gold’ you silently mourn.

“I'm sorry, I wish I could help but I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be going down in the mines right now. I’ve got a lot going on right now and won't have time” you apologize, the tiny lie falling from your lips. You hope she doesn’t ask any for any clarification and thankfully she doesn't. She just narrows her eyes but doesn’t press any further. You internally let out a sigh of relief, you really didn’t want to explain the situation. As kind as the blacksmith is, you have a feeling she wouldn’t be the best person to talk about this with.

She sends you off with reassurance that it’s okay and that she hopes to see you around town again before heading towards her forge. You head the opposite direction towards the docks, reasoning Zeki’s can wait a bit longer. A few hours of comfortable silence later spent with Einar as you fish together, the sun is high in the sky and your stomach is telling you it’s time to eat. You sell Einar your tiny haul and head back towards the town for some food. 

Between the time and it being the weekend you figured the inn would be empty for the lunch period. Walking in you were surprised to find that instead of the silence you were expecting, the inn seemed to be quite busy and filled with life. Sifuu and Badruu are here lounging at the long table by the door laughing loudly, drink spilling as their cheeks color a ruddy hue from what you're not sure is from the joy they're projecting or from the spirits in their cup. Both Kenli and Zeki sit across from them, one far more interested in the going ons across the table than the other. In the corner at the end of the same table, Delaila and Chayne are more quietly talking amongst themselves. Curious, you walk over to the bar where Reth is. 

“What’s going on?” you ask the cook motioning to the commotion behind you. 

Reth laughs, wiping the bar down. “I guess everyone decided to have a break day. They're all taking the afternoon off to catch up before the end of season rushes hit everyone.” You nod along and slide into one of the stools at the counter.

“Guess I’ll take my lunch over here then, I don’t want to intrude.” 

Reths gives you a weird look before throwing the towel on his shoulder and leaning against the countertop. “Look I’m not wanting to stick my nose in where it isn’t wanted so you can tell me to forget it and it's gone, but are you doing okay, sweet tooth? You’ve seemed pretty down every time I’ve seen you the last few days. Starting to miss the smiles around here.”

You take a moment to think before you answer, this is Reth. If anyone is going to be sympathetic to the situation, it’d be him. "I'm fine. I just- do you ever realize you misunderstood something and the aftermath of that... just kinda sucks?" 

Reth’s face changes from curious to mildly confused at your question. "Yeah. I guess so. What happened?" 

You're not sure if you want to tell him the whole situation, not wanting to cause a bigger issue, but the genuine concern in his eyes placates some of your nerves. You can trust him. "It's not a big deal really.. I just thought I was finally understanding the gift giving and friendship rules here” you pause before sighting, “but I guess not."

Reth stays quiet for a moment as he ponders the words and then tilts his head, " So what happened?" He asks again.

You look down at the counter picking at the grain of the wood., "I accidentally overstated my welcome in someone’s company and misread a situation. It's fine, I'm just a little embarrassed." 

Reth gets a bit more serious now, everyone in town adores your presence. You've been so kind and helpful to everyone! Eager to learn the customs unfamiliar to you without complaint and you go out of your way to help everyone you come across, even at your own inconvenience and expense. You've been so kind to him in particular, he can't imagine who wouldn't want you around. Surely there's just been a misunderstanding "Who-" he starts before Ashuras booming voice fills the inn

"Hodari, my friend! You made it. We were getting worried you wouldn't actually come"

Hodari says something in response but you don't catch is as you feel your whole body lock up, refusing to turn around

Reth shoots you another strange look at your reaction before his eyes widen, putting the dots together. "What did he say?" He begins but you shake your head. 

"It's really not a big deal, Reth. It’s more of an ego hit or sting to my pride than anything else."

Reth just hums and gives you an almost withering look to tell you he’s not impressed with the answer but drops it and you feel a wave of gratitude towards your friend. As time passes you slowly start to relax as you realize the miner hasn’t seen you as they all gather amongst themselves to chat. 

Reth sets a bowl of your favorite soup in front of you that you hadn't ordered yet. You look up at him quizzically and he shrugs. "It’s a new recipe, you're the first to try it so let me know what you think. On the house for testers of course." You nod and take a sip and can't help a smile as the flavor bursts across your tongue, there's nothing new about it at all. And with every spoonful, you feel just a little bit warmer. After you've finished, Reth takes the bowl from you. "Want me to go talk to the grouch?" He nods his head towards where Hodari is talking and laughing and you stifle a laugh at the image in front of you with the ‘grouch’ descriptor while shaking your head. 

"No. It's okay, really. I misread the situation, it stings and I'm so embarrassed. But it's probably for the best. I don't want to force myself to be somewhere I'm not wanted." 

Reth scrunched his nose at that huffing ".. I don't like that. We don't do that. Sure we can be pretty strict in our traditions and some can be harsh if someone deviates" he pauses gesturing to his entire self, "but we repay the kindness we are shown." You nod along to appease him but don't say anything as he continues. "I meant it when I said you don't have to tell me what happened, but I'm not gonna lie, sweet tooth, I'm a little confused what he could say or do to make you feel like that. He’s a bit gruff, sure, but under all that he tends to mind his own business and is always willing to help out when it's needed. I mean, he hasn't even shown any issue with me. Maybe it's just a really big misunderstanding?" He says not unkindly. 

You shrug noncommittally, wanting the conversation to move on. Reth picks up on the change pretty quick and switches the topic to something more neutral. Soon enough he has you throwing your head back in laughter, Hodari and the conversation far from your mind. Before you know it, over an hour has passed and you needed to be heading back home. You tell Reth as such and he offers to help you sneak and you slip out the back so you don't have to walk past the whole group still engrossed in their conversation or Hodari. 

As you're leaving from behind the inn, your steps feel a little lighter. Even with everything that's happened, you still have friends who care for you and it'll be okay. This has been a learning opportunity and you’ll give yourself room to grow. Lost in your own self assurance as you start the walk home you almost miss the sound of footsteps racing behind you. Subconsciously you start to brace for impact from Auni when a girl's voice calls out "Y/N!" You turn around to see Najuma tearing out from seemingly Jel’s shop, if the harried tailor and Tish running out from the building are any indication, and running right towards you.  'Oh no..'

[Dividers by the-aesthetic-shop]

[matchagator]

TXT/SKZ | Regal Affairs | Ch. 2

While Aurelia settles into Choi court and Yeonjun battles the reality of his unwanted approaching nuptials, Reina comes in close contact with a very bold, very alluring Taehyun.

{Main Pairings:} Choi Yeonjun x Original Female Character, Kang Taehyun x Original Female Character, Lee Minho (Leeknow) x Original Female Character

{Rating:} 18+

{Genre:} Royals

{Warnings:} Arranged Marriage, Flirting, Forbidden Romance, Drama, Family Dynamics, Future Smut

The next morning, the sun rose above the horizon as the betrothed pairing took a stroll through the castle. Yeonjun practically waltzed through the corridors, moving swiftly to end the interaction so that he could respectfully neglect her presence. Aurelia was more than willing to keep up with his pace, her shoes scuffing across the stone floor. The tour of the castle was fleeting as the princess tried to make polite conversation, but was interrupted by her groom before she could utter a sound. Yeonjun strategically spoke about each area of the house to avoid dwelling in awkward small talk, leaving no room for Aurelia to get a word in edgewise. 

He found his demise as they reached the garden, where the space was bountiful and there was a spectacle to see in every corner of the grounds. His limbs were exhausted from the haste within the walls of the chateau and were begging for solace as they transitioned to the gravel pathway. With the change in pace, Aurelia drank in the tranquility of the sun shining down upon her fair complexion and brightened the hues of the flowers. 

“Look at how beautiful the weather is this morning.” She sighed happily, taking slow deep breaths as she promenaded alongside Yeonjun through the autumn blooms. The prince merely nodded in accordance with her statement, giving no proper reply to thread a more in-depth conversation. 

Aurelia held her hands behind her back as she peered at the handsome man beside her, sparked with interest as he continued to steel himself from her presence. “Do you favor any past times?” Her gentle steps crunched against the jagged rock beneath them as they headed for the lake. 

He chuckled sarcastically, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “Future kings do not get much time to pass, unlike their fertile, craven queens…” He took the opportunity to knock down her character, enjoying the flinch in her muscles from his comment. “I suppose when I do, I rather enjoy swordsmanship, archery-”

“Combat.” Aurelia boldly interrupted, unimpressed by his interest in weapons and battles just like any other man of their time. How predictable and brainless. She was spurred on by his presumptuous slander of women in her predicament, and if he was such an advocate for war then she would be willing to participate.

Yeonjun picked up on the smallest hint of venom in her tone, smirking to himself. “I also like to paint.” His steps moved without hesitation onto the grass, crossing the field to reach the edge of the land while Aurelia faltered, falling behind briefly as her mind processed an image of the eldest Choi having the patience for intricate strokes upon an impressionable canvas. 

She cleared her throat, gathering her gown to chase after him. “You paint?” She inquired, trying to capture his eye as she caught up to him once again. He only hummed in response as he finally reached the shore. “Let me guess…images of war and bloodshed?” She was only teasing, but the sharpness in his glare held her tongue from further speaking. She needed to make this union work and antagonizing him would only make their bond more unbearable. 

“Does it matter?” He challenged, turning his body and adjusting his posture to oppose her menacingly. 

Aurelia did not grow timid from his display of masculinity, only looking to know more about the man she would be marrying in only a few days. “Yes…it tells me what is in your heart.” She looked up at him through her eyelashes, enamored by his stature as she admired his handsome features under the harsh demeanor.

The betrothed stood in silence momentarily, gazing at each other as they observed the characteristics of one another. Yeonjun drank in the view of her bosom just under the bridge of his nose, flickering his dark orbs up to her face and tracing every curve with admiration. There was no denying a physical attraction was present between them, but many more strides were necessary for their emotional bond to tether. 

Yeonjun was the first to break free from the enchanting spell of her beauty. “Come, I will show you the training grounds we use for combat.” He flashed her a roguish smirk as he twisted his body in order to guide her to the other end of the castle grounds, close to the thick treeline surrounding their home. 

While he was facing away from her, Aurelia stole the opportunity to roll her eyes. Boys. She trailed behind him, waltzing across the lush grass as she admired the scenery of the field during their journey. She subconsciously fiddled with the pendant of her necklace, thinking about her future, their future. She hadn’t been in court long, but it was facile to observe the relationship between the siblings was stitched closely despite the affectionate banter.  “I notice you are quite close with your brothers and sister…” This captured his attention, his muscles tense as he wondered what she might try to discuss in regard to his siblings. “Does that implicate you to want more than one child as well?” Aurelia admired the bond of the Choi offspring, missing the opportunities she could have had if her parents created more children. 

Yeonjun relaxed, sighing as he fixed his narrow eyes towards his bride. “Ah, the imbeciles, you mean?” He chuckled at his own joke. “Yes, I guess you could say I’m fond of them.” It was a pure understatement; there wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for his younger brothers or sister. He hid behind the veil of annoyance well, but his instincts gravitated towards their presence, enjoying the laughter they brought into the castle and his mundane life.  “As for children of my own…” He thought about it for a second, imagining the pitter-patter of tiny feet stampeding through the corridors just as he and his siblings would when they were younger. A ghost of a smile graced his lips as a sense of pride swelled within his chest. Above all else, he wanted children and was more than happy to participate in the ritual of creating them. He glanced slyly at Aurelia, “I’d like as many as your womb allows.” He left her speechless with a wink, striding proudly towards the terrain of the training area. 

Aurelia felt heat overcome her cheeks, praying that it was coming from the rays of the sun rather than the impact of his words. How could he be so bold? Why not just give her an ideal number rather than imply he was willing to fill her with his seed indefinitely? She huffed in rebuttal, stomping her heels into the dirt. “How do you suppose I would allow you that many children?”

Yeonjun chuckled as he turned back to her, his smirk ever present as he intended to torment her imagination. “It’s hardly complicated, you simply lay back and open your legs.”

Aurelia held back her urge to slap him, “You’re insufferable.” She hissed in retaliation.

He took a menacing step forward, “Yet in only a few days, you won’t have a choice. That’s the beauty of our arrangement.” He tilted his head, staring her down condescendingly. “Bedamned the etiquette and manners, we are forced together regardless. Save yourself the effort and end this forsaken charade.”

She was left speechless yet again, unprepared for how to manage his attitude respectfully. In the end, she held her tongue; if he didn’t want her efforts then she would give him nothing in return. She took a deep breath, soothing the bubbling anger that simmered under the surface of her calm demeanor. “I understand our circumstances are less than ideal, but it is our duty and I hope that in the future, you find our pairing is favorable.” She gave a small curtesy, excusing herself to retreat towards the castle. She refused to let him break her spirit, plaguing her mind with rebellion; she was raised to be queen and planned to continue on the path flawlessly. 

—

The crisp crinkling of parchment echoed through the castle corridors as Reina flipped through a novel of foreign policy, strolling through the lavishly decorated space, her gown trailing behind her as it swished with each of her steps. She found herself merely reading the words printed on the page, completely disengaged from the context of the information. 

She let a sigh escape her lips as she dabbled in the mundane subject matter, wishing princesses wouldn’t need to learn such things. It wasn’t like they would need the information themselves. The man of any marriage was tasked with that responsibility while women were seen as pawns in bearing an heir. 

Reina’s mind couldn’t help but venture onto Aurelia, thinking back on the conversations shared at the dinner table the night of her arrival. She was her family's only heir, yet she wouldn’t be able to reign as their queen until she was wed to a king, one with a claim to the crown and the power to rule their nation. Surely she would be able to rule alongside her counsel. Through the brief interactions she shared with the visiting royal, she was highly intelligent and knowledgeable. However, despite her capabilities to rule independently,  her kingdom would appear weak in a man’s eyes, the world filled with vulturous men eager to prey on weak unsuspecting nations to conquer them for their own. 

This must be why Aurelia was so eager to appeal to Reina's mother and father, why she didn’t mind being promised to a complete stranger. Her nation would need the support of a king’s rule, and her eldest brother would be just that.  

It’s just a matter of time before mother and father sell you both off just the same.

Reina shuddered at the thought of Yeonjun’s words during Aurelia’s arrival. They were both arranged to be married not by their own free will, but by their parents' bidding. They would need to live the rest of their lives married to one another despite Yeonjun’s distaste of the sheepish royal and despite any of Aurelia’s wishes. 

Reina continued to peer down at the busy pages nestled in her palm, her mind venturing from the parchment as she dwelled on her interactions with the handsome servant, Taehyun. Reina hoped she’d marry for love, destined to spend her days with a man who fills her with happiness and admiration. Her mind suddenly shifted to the horrid reality that one day, she might also be promised off to some outsider all for alliance and security amongst a changing world. 

She shook herself of her thoughts, flipping through a few more pages of her book before turning the corner of the corridor, eager to seek out Beomgyu for a much-needed change in pace. Her book closed with a loud thud as she glanced up from the object, her eyes widening once realizing that she was inches from colliding with another individual. 

Unfortunately, she didn’t have enough time to avoid the collision, the loud clanking of Taehyun’s metal tray ringing against the stone floors as red wine splattered across the marble, rouge grapes and cheeses joining the disarray. Her eyes found Taehyun stumbling back from the impact, Reina struggling to find her footing as well before glancing down at the heap on the ground. 

“Taehyun, I apologize…I…I was reading before...” Reina stumbled over her words, feeling her cheeks flush in embarrassment as his gentle wide eyes bore through her soul. She was relieved to see a chuckle tug at his lips as she knelt down to begin gathering some of the debris onto the now-empty tray. 

“Please, Your Highness. It’s entirely my fault.” He added without hesitation, working quickly to clean any remnants off the floor. 

Reina felt partially responsible for the mess, crouching beside him as she set her book down to aid in picking up litter. Taehyun paused in his movements, surprised to see a royal not only aid in cleaning up the mess but also using a handkerchief that was tucked with her gown to aid in wiping up the spilled wine. “Let me help.” The young princess stumbled against the stone, making quick swiping motions in her best attempt to clean the spilled wine, the sleeve of her gown becoming saturated with the substance.

Taehyun moved quickly to pull his own rag from his pocket, aiding to remove any excess liquid, stunned that Reina was still trying to work alongside him in rectifying the mess. “Your Highness, please don’t worry about it. Princesses shouldn’t scurry, especially not on stone flooring.” He placed his rag onto the silver tray, grabbing her handkerchief before offering his hand to assist her in standing. Reina hadn't realized she was on her hands and knees, appearing as if she had just been scrubbing the floors, which she so boldly did. 

She gave up on her mission as she reluctantly accepted his hand, feeling a jolt of electricity course through her body as Taehyun’s gentle fingertips caressed the fabric of her sleeve. She could feel his warmth seep through the material of her gown, warming her body in an insatiable heat. 

Taehyun’s hair hung loosely in his eyes as he used his free hand to push back the strands, exposing his bright-eyed stare. “Your gown...” He spoke softly, his voice almost a whisper as his fingers trailed down the soiled fabric, grazing over the spot. 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Reina pulled her arm away from his soft embrace, hiding it behind her to conceal the damage of her efforts. “It’s only a gown. I’ll come up with some excuse as to why it’s been stained.” Reina shrugged off the matter as she glanced back down to see if there were any remaining objects scattered about. 

Taehyun was mesmerized by her nature, stunned to find that she wasn’t like most royals he’d come across. She treated him as if he were her equal, making him feel like a man of dignity despite his current position as a servant in the palace. He was in awe of her, wishing their status wouldn’t be an obstacle for him to profess his affection, knowing there could never be anything between them other than their hidden flirtatious gestures. 

As if his mouth spoke on its own, he found himself stepping closer to her as his eyes darkened with intent. “Take off your gown.” 

Reina blinked, completely dumbfounded by the audacious statement that escaped Taehyun’s lips. Her face flushed a deeper shade of crimson as she struggled to meet his gaze. “Pardon me?”

Taehyun refused to release her from his captivating glare, ignoring thoughts of the consequences as his mind whirled with images of her figure beneath the material adorning her body.  With a jolt, he managed to peel his stare from her figure, peering up as his eyes widened at the reality of his predicament. “For the stain, your highness.” He quickly added, fumbling back as he allowed their proximity to simmer. “If you take off your gown and leave it in your chambers, I can tend to the stain.” He quickly attempted to cover his remark, wishing he could toss himself from the top of the trivets, mortified that he allowed himself to be so bold. 

Reina visibly relaxed as she took in his explanation, nodding in agreement as she pulled her arm from behind her, examining her sleeve once more. “I shall. Thank you.” She spoke softly, her eyes glimmering at Taehyun with a wild desire as if expressing similar interests in the young servant. He felt himself gulp back his shock before Reina turned to make her way towards her chambers. “I’ll send my maid to inform you once it’s ready.” She called back, fighting every urge in her being from turning around to further indulge in the interactions she shared with the handsome servant.

Taehyun stood still as he watched her confidently strut down the corridors, leaving him practically drooling at the sight of her backside swaying with each step. 

{Tag List:} @luv4gyuuu

[funarisjournal]

Chapter 52 Thoughts!

Ohhhh, this chapter was absolutely AMAZING! Real life is mirrored, things are relatable (again), and flower symbolism??? I am so giddy after reading this one, aahh~

Again, I will talk about it under the cut because spoilers BUT I will say first: After today's update, it was announced that future Tsukutabe chapter updates will be at a more "irregular" schedule. A bummer, but I understand. Yuzaki-sensei can rest and take all the time she needs to make future updates. I will be there!

If you remember, back in Ch. 49, Nomoto decided she wanted to come out via social media first. We saw the beginnings of that - all positive.

But...this chapter kinda crashes back to reality. Yes, she did get quite a bit of support, but she was also getting QRTs and replies that really hit Nomoto hard. You know, even making comments like, "Well, I followed for the lighthearted thing, but you've been talking politics a lot lately, so I'm going to unfollow" can be just as hurtful as "weird-ass (slur)" (not actually used in the chapter but that was the impression I got, that she received the spectrum of negativity).

After a brief group chat with Nagumo and Yako (where the pre-cut image comes from), Kasuga and Nomoto have a chat, alone. Nomoto gives us further insight to why she wanted to come out - the news of that one athlete coming out really inspired her and, even if she's comparatively a nobody, she just wanted to show others that, yes, she exists. She's here and she's queer! It really inspires Kasuga...

We get treated to a few pages' worth of Kasuga at work. Eventually, she's reaching the end of her shift and she notices...the flower department of this supermarket. Maybe she could get something? Well, one shouldn't just pick something because it's pretty. Oh no, Kasuga actively searches for flower language meanings to pick the right one~ (I'll reveal the flower at the end)

So it's time to check out, right? Once again, Kasuga encounters an awkward situation with the employee. They assume, oh, a friend? And memories flood back of the other times Kasuga had this same encounter - namely, Christmas present shopping and Valentine's Day chocolates. She used to pause, maybe even leave, feeling invisible. Like she doesn't exist. Granted, she didn't know her exact feelings before, but that terrible vibe was there.

But then, she remembers Nomoto's words. She's emboldened. No, this isn't for just a friend. This is for a lover, her girlfriend (it is stressed in the bubble, actually!)

The shopkeep wishes her luck, no malice shown, and we are treated to the most adorable return home aaaaaaa!

The flower she chose, by the way? Delphinium

And, if you had been following the latest chapters in general (I think since Ch 46 or so?), the choice hits SO HARD, but so good! And I'm sure Kasuga actually shared the reason she chose them and Nomoto's gonna cry, but it'll be happy tears and (babbles incoherently).

...ahem! Anyway. So, while updates will be infrequent now, this was a great way to leave the comic if it's gonna be a bit until the next update. It really feels like the end of this particular arc, so whatever happens next will be new arc. I'm sure of it. I am definitely looking forward to it!

❤️

[imogenleewriter]

I have opened up to reading WIPS because of your fics (I love all of them, by the way!!!!!!!). Do you have any others to reccomend? 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Honestly, I hate that WIPs get such a bad wrap. I get it because I hate waiting too, but it's also so exciting to get the email, you know? Like I'd rather get it piece by piece than not at all. I'm not going to make this a pretty post because they won't stay WIPs, but here are some of my favourites! I'm only posting ones that have been uploaded to within the last month, but most have been uploaded to within the last week. I Don't Wanna Face The Music - hereforh / @hereforh Current WC: 24k 3/10 - Weekly uploads. Summary: Louis likes to think he's a pretty normal, typical lad. He likes spending nights at the pub with his mates, he loves football and is very close to his family. So when he moves to London for uni, he doesn’t think much will be different. Until he makes these new friends who are nothing like his mates back home and change his life for the better - and this one boy who messes with his head from the get-go and makes him question everything he has ever thought about himself.

Anything But Awkward - The_Dizzy_Pixie / @dizzy-pixie17 Current WC:91k Ch: 17/? Summary: Harry looked down at the signed album in his hands before flipping it over. He blinked at the sight of the cramped and rather messy handwriting scribbled on the back of the vinyl jacket. When you’re less tongue-tied, maybe give me a call, babes. xx :)  +44 280913 7777 Harry groaned when he walked right into the side of a bus shelter. Louis Tomlinson had given Harry his number. OR The one where Louis's a rockstar, and Harry's his biggest fan. When he meets him at a signing, he's awkward and forgets everything he wants to say to him but Louis thinks he's cute and gives Harry his number.

Babes In Boyland - bananaheathen/@bananaheathen Current WC: 37k Ch: 4/? Summary: The genderqueer parenthood sequel to Of Mates and Men ❤️ In which, Harry and Louis decide to start a family. Or, the one where they all grow up.

The Pros and Cons of Breathing - HelloLovers13/@hellolovers13 Current WC: 50k Ch: 12/19 Summary: Omega Harry has always known he'd be married off someday, so when he's betrothed to Prince Louis, he's anxious about having to leave his life behind, but hopeful for a happy marriage. The hope doesn't last long, with his husband avoiding him at all costs and Harry being left to fend for himself. Can he find happiness even in a broken marriage? everything to lose - stylinsoncity / @stylinsoncity Current WC: 80k Ch: 14/15 Summary: harry is a global popstar who's convinced the world he has it all -- a happy marriage to a devoted alpha, two beautiful children, two grammy awards, three platinum albums, and a budding film career. but some aspects of his image aren't as true as they seem. like the fact he's been separated for over a year, uses meaningless flings to cope and occasionally forgets responsibilities or commitments to his family. he and louis once commanded stages together. they tackled any challenges to their future. and no matter how hard things got, they always returned to one another. harry would always return to louis. until one day, he finds he can't.

Bike Strike - thinlines / @thinlinez Current WC: 62k Ch: 13/14 Summary: What would you do if you saw someone riding your bike, which had been stolen weeks before, across campus? Omega Harry chose to show no mercy. He didn't know it would all lead him to his own demise. The Habit That I Cant Break - Cyantific / @cyantific Current WC:5k Ch:2/10 Summary: While searching for a healthy alternative to fill the void that one habit left, Louis gets hooked on something and someone totally different. This new experience pushes him way out of his comfort zone, making Louis realize he’s capable of so much more than he could’ve ever imagined. Or… The one where Louis quits smoking and tries to get healthy, and Harry is the fitness instructor who helps him achieve those goals while making him sweat in and out of the gym. In which Harry and Louis still meet at bootcamp, just not the one you’re thinking of. Featuring Lottie as the supportive sister that drags her brother to bootcamp class, Louis as the grumpy ex-smoker, Harry as the instructor with exhausting amounts of enthusiasm and one obnoxious pair of yellow trainers.

Addictive Heart - Alwaysinlove /@always-in-love-x Current WC: 91k Ch: 41/? Summary: Louis prefers to be single. He's seen too many relationships crumble around him to want a boyfriend in his life. As a successful singer on tour, his schedule doesn't exactly allow for a relationship anyway. So he has Harry. Beautiful, handsome Harry, who always turns up whenever Louis is lonely or horny. Because Harry is in love with him. Sadly, Louis doesn't do love. Until one day, Harry stops replying to Louis' messages and he goes on a mission to find out why... Two Hearts In One Home - enchantedlandcoffee / @enchantedlandcoffee Current WC: 14k Ch: 3/? Summary: Best friends Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles have been living together for almost 3 years. With Louis' YouTube videos mainly featuring challenges, vlogs, and tutorials, his best friend is unknowingly a common topic on his channel (with his identity hidden) leading his viewers to believe that they are dating. What happens when Harry's childhood friend, Niall Horan, returns from Ireland and turns out to be one of his biggest fans and sends a tweet that turns his life upside down?

On The Horizon - FitzAndLarry / @fitzandlarry Current WC: 169k Ch: 16/? Summary: “Let’s enjoy each others’ company. You’re fit; you’re young; you’re a bloody doctor. You’ve got everything going for you.” There’s a moment of hesitation before Louis plants a gentle kiss atop Harry’s head. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be as long as we’re having fun, yeah?” Drunk, loose, and excited on the first night of his two-week-long cruise, Doctor Harry Styles finds himself with a little extra company on what has turned out to be a lonely experience. Louis, the pilot who helped fly him across the Atlantic, is the object of his fling. Thus begins an adventure filled with laughter, sun, and trauma rearing its ugly head. Deadline on their companionship, the pair commit to enjoying their time - and Harry, the screw-up he is, can't help but lose himself in the fantasy.

[deludedfantasy]

Trimax Vol 7 Ch 4-6

My suffering continues in the second half of this volume. Things have been getting steadily worse and worse for a while, but something about this one really just got me. I know it's gonna get worse though lol. Until then, my thoughts on the last three chapters.

Ch 4

Wolfwood, my guy, what are you even doing? “He looks like he’s been to a funeral, and another one and another one after that.” I mean, yeah, Vash has been having a real shit time of it lately. That’s actually a great way to describe it.

In all seriousness, this is actually weirdly sweet to me. I think Wolfwood’s trying really hard to cheer him up, except he has no idea how to do it, so he’s just being so awkward instead. He gets like the tiniest little smile out of him. But it’s so sad because you can’t see Vash’s eyes anymore, he’s hiding all that pain beyond his brand-new goggles that function almost like blinders.

Despite how terrible Vash feels, he still helps those people out. His reputation precedes him though and it’s gotten worse. Now the story about his powers is out and the people avoid him, treat him like a devil. 

But the guys he saved are being really nice to him! Actually treating him like a person! We love to see it. 

Vash looks like he’s having fun drinking but after the last volume, I’m a little worried. He’s having a nice time, but I also feel like he’s using it to bury all the hurt he’s feeling. 

“Oh well. This may be his last chance to enjoy himself.” I can’t begin to explain the dread this line puts in me, especially since I know where this is all going. So does Wolfwood, of course. But he seems so calm about it, like he’s accepted the inevitability of it all. 

“I’m the angel of mercy handing out booze to these poor souls.” This is a banger of a line to come from some random barkeeping granny.  

That is a bleak, bleak view of Vash’s possible future that this guy gives him. That he’ll always be alone, time the only thing that will wipe away his regrets, nothing but that for as long as he’s alive. He’s probably speaking from experience though and that’s what makes it even sadder.

Oh no. OH NO. Vash’s power reacted to something and I don’t like it. It’s Knives, it’s him merging with the Plants and things are about to go down. 

The way Vash says, “Wolfwood, you really are my guide, right?” HE KNOWS. I’m convinced now that he knows that Wolfwood is Knives’s agent and has been from the beginning. I hesitate to say he doesn’t care, but he certainly doesn’t blame Wolfwood for it. But it also makes this all so tragic. In a way, they’ve both accepted their fates at this point and just, ugh, nooooo. 

Knives’s big plan is starting…with an attack of galactic proportions. He’s bringing down all the satellites, destroying the planetary communications network. A great way to sow fear and chaos across the land.

When we do see Vash’s eyes, they’re so empty. He has given up. The way he’s talking, it’s like he’s walking to his death. He knows whatever he’s walking into, he’s not coming back from it. His language, thanking everyone for one last drink, one last good night, it very much reads like a suicide note. I’m gonna go curl up in a ball and cry now.

Ch 5

The chapter titles in this volume…they fuck me up. “Late Arrival to the End of the World.” On the one hand, oof, yes, how evocative. On the other hand though…I’m scared.

So Wolfwood and Vash arrive at Knives’s murder castle/ship. Vash runs right on in because there’s no hiding now. Knives’s power is at full blast. Not only can his brother sense him, but Vash’s own power is reacting to it and he’s shifting. For the first time, he looks calm about it. But it’s not because he’s okay with his power. It’s because he’s accepted his fate. He’s locked in and nothing will stop him now, because he has nothing left to lose.

Oh my god???? What was that horrifying vision Wolfwood had? He doesn’t seem to think it was Knives and Vash didn’t even notice. FREAKY. There’s someone in the murder castle that’s after him too. 

But also, “I don’t want to be a burden on him.” God, Wolfwood. Just…you care about him so much, but it wouldn’t be a burden to him. But he knows that, which is why he won’t do it. He won’t put something else on Vash’s shoulders, he won’t make him even more worried, or harder than it already is. 

Elendira is just like, “Hi there! Let me lead you to your murderous brother for your final showdown. Right this way!”

Ah, so Vash did pick up on something from Wolfwood’s vision. As always, Vash remains more perceptive than Wolfwood is willing to give him credit for. 

IT’S REVEALED. Wolfwood isn’t Chapel! Also, can we talk about the badass wheelchair of death the actual Chapel is using? 

I love that Elendira basically scolds them into not pointing their guns at each other.

You know, it occurs to me that Wolfwood manages to betray a lot of people all at once. There’s something really sad about that because I just know it makes him feel so much worse about himself as a person.

Always funny to me when Wolfwood calls other people faithless. Like, dude, so are you! That’s just the pot calling the kettle black. 

Knives’s aura is so powerful, it cracks Vash’s glasses and blows them off his face. He can’t hide his feelings anymore and he also can’t hide from his brother anymore. He has to look the world full in the face now. There’s no turning back or running away anymore. 

Also, this last panel of Knives emerging from the pavilion is terrifying. Especially the way the giant hands don’t match up with where the rest of his body is positioned. 

Ch 6

It kills me that Knives’s plan to make Vash suffer and break him down succeeded. He wanted to see his brother brought low, to have all of his ideals smashed and proven wrong, before they faced each other again. It’s so cruel, especially after seeing how kind and loving he was as a child. 

But Knives still frames what he’s doing as saving Vash! Now it’s because of the black hair, because he’s closer to death than Knives is. Does Knives feel guilty though? Because as far as I can tell, every time Vash has used his powers and his hair has turned black up to this point has been directly due to Knives forcing or manipulating him into it. 

This has been haunting me since the first half of this volume, but Knives bringing up Tesla again reminded me. Would she want this? Would she want the kind of destruction Knives wants to rain down on the world? Would she want that kind of large scale revenge against all of humanity? She might have been a child, but Independent Plants, as we’ve seen, are incredibly intelligent, even as children. If we assume she was a vengeful ghost who wanted to show them the truth about humanity, then maybe. There’s this tiny part of me though that wonders if she’d be horrified instead to see so much suffering done in her name. Would she really want to see anyone, Plant or human, harmed just because she did too? Would she want others to experience the same pain she did? And that’s the thing. We don’t know. We’ll never know what this little girl wanted. She never had any agency, not when she lived or died, not even in her legacy. She became a martyr for a cause she didn’t even know existed. 

Oh hey, it’s the argument Vash and Knives have in the Tristamp finale! I didn’t catch this on my first read. The context here is very different though. Vash is a lot more broken down here and we know he has so many doubts. So to hear him say something like this, that he’ll run away and try again, is so weirdly hopeful and optimistic. Knives is just as enraged though. 

I’ve been wondering what those tubes on Vash’s jacket were for ages! It looks like ammo to reload his arm gun (and maybe his revolver too). Clever design for a gunslinger’s jacket, honestly. 

Is—is Legato hopping up the stairs in his weird little metal coffin thing? Like he’s in a sack race? That is such a ridiculous image in the middle of this battle. 

Ough, Vash. This page…Why must you hurt me like this? He might still have some hope left for humanity, but he doesn’t have any left for himself. In that sense, Knives failed. He wanted him to suffer and see humanity’s failings, but Vash only ever saw his own. 

Knives really went, “If I can’t save you from yourself, I’ll make you part of me and take away your entire autonomy.” He’s always been like this, but this time he’s just said it out loud. All those posts about Knives seeing Vash an extension of himself become very, very literal here.

Oh? Vash was actually able to overpower him when he tried to meld with him? 

I can’t believe Knives actually listened to Legato. He hasn’t been listening to anyone recently. And Legato’s deranged, excited expression when he does and then asks him to restrain Knives…he’s really enjoying himself, for once.

Oh no, oh this is bad. Vash is captured, Knives is planning the destruction of the planet, there’s apparently a massive airship. Everything looks very, very bad. This is so much worse because I know where this is going. 

[justanotherstarlightmonger]

Helsinki ch 13: Bruises and repercussions.

Helsinki syndrome is a term sometimes used incorrectly in place of Stockholm syndrome. It’s use in literature is often ironic and deliberate and literally means when a captive refuses to cooperate with their captor.

Summary: A war of wits does have some rules too. But if one party refuses to acknowledge the sacred rule of leaving family out of it, the other must retaliate stronger to quell any such advances for the future… Or at least that’s what Min Yoongi told himself when he abducted Kim Namjoon’s younger sister. That was before he realized that this elaborate game of chess didn’t have just two players and before he had promised Namjoon he’d keep her safe, But also before he realized that one month was enough to leave his whole life in chaos.

Genre: MAFIA AU, slight yandere themes, smut, a happy sprinkling of fluff/comfort, and a truckload of ANGST.

WARNINGS: If Taehyung was your favorite character, I sincerely apologize. 

Pairing: Main pairing: Mafia!MIN YOONGI X READER

Others include: Collegeboyfriend!Hosoek x reader + Mafia!Taehyung x reader + Kidnapper!Seokjin x reader.

Word count: 3.5k words

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was how impossibly soft the pillow was. The second thing was how incredibly sore your body was, and the third were soft snores coming from somewhere near your feet.

“Yoongi?” you whispered into the semi-darkness.

No answer.

What time was it anyways?

You scooted over to the other side of the bed, to lean to look at the sky from the window. It was super early, the sunlight weak.

You felt well rested though, and were aware by now that this was Yoongi’s room. Something told you you should return to your own room before Taehyung wakes up. You tip toed to the door.

“Are you running out on me again kitten?” a gruff, grumpy voice sounded from behind you.

You froze. Truth be told, it was a little awkward…but you steeled yourself. You were a big girl, you could face Min Yoongi. Even after he had wrecked you last night.

“Um, no. I was just going to get a glass of water.” You lied.

“I’ll get you some.” He sat up, hair sticking up and cheeks puffy. He looked so cute. You needed to see more of soft, just woke up Yoongi.

“It’s okay Min, you didn’t break me.” You teased him.

His shoulders shook in a silent laugh.

“I have to go change my sheets, too.” You reasoned, opening the door softly, and stepping out, rushing to your own room, that was still in a disarray, and closed the door behind you.

When you came out again, you saw Yoongi mixing something into some eggs, presumably to make an omelet. Before you could even register how out of place Yoongi looked in a baggy t-shirt and in the kitchen, Taehyung’s door opened and he stepped out.

Your eyes widened and a little blush sat on your cheeks.

Yoongi the actor, looked up at both of you, “Good morning sleepy heads. Come have something to eat.” He said as if he was meeting you for the first time this morning. You giggled, causing Taehyung to shoot you a confused look, as to what had gotten you so happy so early, especially because the last time he’d seen you, you were passed out in bed.

.

“Y/n!” Taehyung gasped, eyes focused on your neck.

“Wha-?” you asked him, alarmed at his wide eyes.

“I’m gonna murder Seokjin.” Taehyung said through clenched teeth.

Yoongi nodded easily, but you were still confused. Before it hit you. The bruises on your neck. Not the ones Seokjin left, the much clearer, much more numerous ones Min Yoongi left on you.

You choked on your coffee, grabbing the edge of the table for support as your face reddened and you lost the ability to breathe.

Nonchalantly, Yoongi, who was sitting closer to you, rubbed your back to soothe the coughing, hands shaking with the effort to hold back his laugh.

.

“I’ve had snipers stationed outside since last night. They scanned the whole area. It’s all clear. You can move there immediately.” Yoongi told Taehyung, who was nodding in agreement, as you sat with your arms crossed on the couch, refusing to believe what he was saying.

They were moving you again. This time to escape Seokjin. You didn’t mind jumping around anymore, it was the second part that bothered you. Yoongi was going somewhere else. They were counting on the fact that Jin would think Yoongi took you along, and would follow him.

“I don’t understand why we can’t all just move.” You frowned.

Yoongi’s gaze met yours and softened. “We’ve been over this.”

“He has men working for him. Tens of them if he’s anything like you. What makes you think he won’t follow both of us?” you countered.

Taehyung sat beside you. “His little minions don’t scare me. It’s about who he goes after.”

“I can’t believe I’m in real life twilight.” You mumbled.

Yoongi laughed a little. “If we were all vampires, I would have snapped his neck centuries ago.”

You let out a weak smile. You hated this. Every time Yoongi had left, nothing good had come of it. Yet here they were, so sure that this time it’d all be okay.

“What about here? If we retract all security from here, it’ll be too obvious.” Taehyung pointed out.

“We’re not being discreet. We want him to know we’re leaving.” Yoongi said simply.

Your stomach was uneasy. The breakfast you had, was sitting uncomfortably. Yoongi was straight up exposing his back with a big target sign on it for Seokjin to strike down. You couldn’t help but feel that you’d been nothing but trouble. Even though you weren’t here on your own accord.

“Did you unpack anything?” Yoongi asked you.

You shook your head, you had been living out of the suitcase you had brought along.

“Good.” Yoongi nodded. “Tae?”

“Nothing. But I need a shower before we leave.” he said.

“Sure.” Yoongi rose. “Then it’s settled.” He brought out his phone and called someone. “I’ll leave in ten minutes, make sure to tail me thoroughly.” He said to whoever was on the other end.

He turned back to a questioning gaze from you, and Taehyung had gone to shower already.

“That was the body double for Taehyung. We’ll have someone pose as you and I’ll take her along. Our fake Taehyung will follow me for a good while before we split so that they see ‘you’ with me.” He clarified.

“Yoongi, I don’t like this one bit.” You rose from the couch.

“Me neither kitten. I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.” His eyes were sad as he regarded you.

A pang of sorrow stabbed your heart to see him this troubled. Your hand rose to stroke his cheek, as his downcast eyes turned up to meet yours again.

“If I could send you back to your brother right now, I would. But he can’t do much against Jin hyung. He’s a psychopath in the truest sense of the word, just likes to make me suffer any way he can. Namjoon and the Seoul PD don’t stand a chance against him, or I’d send you back in an instant.”

Tears crept into your eyes. Tears of the helplessness you saw mirrored in Yoongi’s eyes. The helplessness and the ache.

“When will I see you again?” you whispered.

Yoongi shrugged, the movement seeming like it weighed tonnes on his shoulders. “When I’m done with him hopefully.” He said, monotonous.

A chill ran up your spine. You reminded yourself how dangerous the man standing before you was, something that you had easily forgotten because all he’d shown you was softness and gentleness. His hands found yours as he pulled you to him. “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Please.” You nodded, smiling against the addicting feeling of his lips lowering on yours as he pressed a sweet kiss on your lips. “Miss me, okay?” he whispered into your cheek before pecking it and pulling away.

“I will.” You nodded, not a single doubt in your mind.

The sound of water running in Taehyung’s shower stopped and you pulled away from Yoongi, resuming your position on the couch as Yoongi stepped back to look out the window. He knew Seokjin’s men were probably in many of the cars that were parked in the street outside. He wasn’t afraid of any of them. Hell, if it came to it, he wasn’t afraid of their boss either. But right now, his heart was thudding in panic.

Panic at the idea that if his plan failed, he’d not be around when Jin caught up to you and Taehyung. Once again.

“Where were you Yoongi?” your words replayed in his mind as a shudder went through him. The thought of what could have happened had he been a moment later yesterday, had already invaded Yoongi’s nightmares all last night, the only thing that had kept him calm was your still, sleeping form in his bed, so close to him, reassuring him you were safe.

What would he do when you were miles upon miles away?

He shook his head.

He could handle it. He could handle anything. He was Min Yoongi, god damn it. He owned a quarter of the entire Korean mafia’s wealth and power. He could get rid of an ant that claimed to be next in line to the throne by some stupid claim of blood.

He heard Taehyung come out and turned around.

“I’m leaving.” He announced.

“Hyung.” Taehyung came and rested his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders, “Take care.”

“You too Taehyungie.” Yoongi said softly, before his eyes flitted over to your pale face. “See you later kitten.” He smiled at you, trying to calm your anxiety.

“I better see you later Min.” you threatened. He laughed softly, taking in the sight of you for a moment longer, before turning and striding to the door, already calling the body doubles to assume their position.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Ilsan shipment had passed through seamlessly. Namjoon had the entire Seoul PD running around chasing petty criminals all over the city just so no one had time to intercept the massive trucks passing through the suburbs in the early hours of the morning.

He had withdrawn his forces completely and as far as he knew, Yoongi’s trucks had passed through unhindered. But he was restless and worried, because he hadn’t received a single call.

A single sign of your wellness.

And then, his phone rang. He snatched it off the table, “Hello?”

“Detective Kim Namjoon,” an unknown voice sounded on the other end.

“Who’s this?” he asked.

“Someone that you’d like on your side.” the stranger replied.

Namjoon frowned. “I suggest you don’t waste my time and reply to my question.” he pulled his most threatening, silent tone.

“I think my time is more precious than yours, little detective. But there is one thing that might be more precious. For you see, I know exactly where your precious little sister is.”

Namjoon said nothing for a whole minute. Then, “Go on.”

“Min Yoongi took her to Gwangju. And today, he’s moving her out of the city. If you’d like me to keep my guarding eye on her, how about you promise me the Seoul shipment will sink next week?”

Namjoon quirked an eyebrow. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew full well that this was one of Min’s rivals and he could be walking straight into a trap. That, or this was a set up from Yoongi himself. But, uptil now, the only thing he had been trusting was Yoongi’s word. Which, granted, wasn’t the best thing to trust. But what could he do, when the last time you’d talked to him, you had assured him you were fine, that he was keeping you safe?

And if that was truly the case, then who was this idiot?

“Tell me who you are and we’ll talk.” he said finally.

“That’s not important, detective.”

“Then, neither is your proposition.” he said and cut the call.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a whole day. There had been no word from Yoongi. By now, even Taehyung, who was lying down on the tiny couch in the living area, was worried. You looked down at your ripped, bitten knuckles, a stupid habit that you had when you were anxious, and winced to see tiny droplets of blood sitting there. This was going to get you nowhere. You rose from the bamboo mattress you were sitting on, and nudged Taehyung, who looked sideways at you.

“Are we really going to stay here in the dark like this?” you asked incredulously.

“I mean,” Taehyung sat up, not a hint of mirth in his face, “We have clear instructions to not contact anyone till contacted ourselves.”

“Tae…” 

“Hey, he’ll be fine. For now, let’s just focus on not dying ourselves, yeah?”

“Dying?” you choked.

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “No- fuck… no.”

“What do you mean dying?” your voice rose.

“Nothing, honestly. It was a slip of the tongue.” he reassured you.

“Are you saying, if Seokjin finds us first, he’ll kill us?”

“No.”

“Taehyung, you’re lying to me.”

“I am not. Drop it!” he sounded cross.

You rolled your eyes and huffed, kicking the couch and going back to your mattress, looking round at the tiny quarters you had rented for a few days. You understood that Taehyung was stressed, maybe even more than you were if his throbbing temple was something to go by, but something in you told you that you might not see Yoongi ever again if you didn’t get up and do something. 

You started thinking of something, a small plan. Not very dramatic, but enough to attract attention to you. Just enough attention to shake Seokjin off Yoongi’s tail. You cast a look at Taehyung, who seemed to be sleeping. Or was he just acting?

“Tae?” you whispered.

No response. 

You tiptoed to the covered window and pulled the curtains back slightly. You could clearly see the sniper on the next roof. And you knew there were more at every vantage point in the vicinity, because those were Yoongi’s orders.

You had to stay inside. Stay inside and stay safe and listen to what Taehyung said, for just a few days and you’d be fine. You shook your head. There would be no fine if there was no Yoongi, you reminded yourself. 

“What are you doing?” a deep voice said right next to your ear. You jumped and smacked his arm, “What is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with YOU? Why are you peeking out?”

“Oh, I can’t look out either?”

“No, you can’t.” He pulled your shoulders and dragged you back to the couch. “Sit down. What do you want for dinner?”

Wow, the audacity. You rolled your eyes. “I’m not hungry.”

“Ok, kimbap it is.” he announced and pretended to clap happily. 

“How are you not bothered Taehyung?” you asked, annoyed beyond belief.

Taehyung whipped around to face you at that, all softness drained from his face, the icy glare he had fixed you with the first night you met, looking back at you. “Do you think you’re more concerned about my brother’s safety than I am, little girl?”

You got whiplash, and had to steel your nerves to stand tall. 

“You’re gonna leave in a week. You’re never coming back. Why are you pretending to be so worried about him? He’s my brother, he’s all I have. And yet I’m not the one losing my shit. Do you have anything to prove here?” he egged on.

“That’s not what-”

“That’s not what you meant?” he tilted his head, “Tell me y/n, what is it that you meant? Why are you suddenly so worried about Min Yoongi, the man you loathe? Was the answer to the question I asked you in that garden an eternity ago my brother?”

You gasped. How was he bringing this up at this time?

“Did you lie to me about someone waiting for you at home? Does our little y/n-ie have a secret?” he mocked.

“Why are you being rude?” you said, dejected.

“You’re deflecting. Answer the question.”

“I don’t have to answer anything.”

“And why is that?”

“I’m not answerable to you.”

“And who exactly are you answerable to little one?”

The use of the nickname that your brother used, sent you fuming. “Don’t call me that.” you spat.

“I’ll call you whatever I want!” his tone was icy. Foreign. Nothing like anything you had heard from him. If you weren’t so angry, you’d register the fear that instilled in you. And you’d also realize why to him,it felt like everything in his world was going wrong ever since you came.

If you weren’t so angry, you’d realize that to Taehyung it felt like you were the root of all evil. That he had spent a lot of time last night thinking what would have happened if he had let you talk to Seokjin, and not let Yoongi overreact so much, which would mean that his obsessive older brother wouldn’t be chasing his sensible one to the edge of the country right now, while he sat fidgeting and worrying over the person who caused it all. Nothing had gone right since you came. Even Yoongi had changed. And now that he was looking at you, effectively losing your mind even though you had claimed time and again that you hated Yoongi, he firmly believed that that simply was not true. 

Anger surged through him. Anger and confusion. He hated you, but he also wanted you. He had wanted you since the night he had spent talking to you. He had wanted you even when you cried and broke down in his arms. And revolting as it felt to him, he wanted you even now, as you stood adamant and cross in front of him, a living proof of the fact that Yoongi had won again.

And somehow, in the sea of sudden bitterness in his heart, he wanted to sit down and cry. He wanted to cry because he hated you and felt like he’d hurt you if he saw you much longer, and he wanted to cry because he couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. He wanted to cry for his brother, who was in danger, and was the only person he had in this world. And he wanted to cry because for a moment there, he had hated him. He had hated his own flesh and blood for a temptress like you.

His head snapped to yours, his face looked like it was carved in granite. You blanched under the smolder he regarded you with.

“You can’t love me because you love my brother.” he said coldly.

“What?!” you scoffed, incredulously. How did the conversation go from worrying about Yoongi to accusations of loving Yoongi. Your heart fluttered in your chest. He was lying. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true.

Yoongi’s soft, concerned face as he leaned in front of you as you sat crying on your bedroom floor flashed in front of your eyes. The ghost of his arms that held you against his chest in the throes of pleasure squeezed you gently. Blood rushed to your cheeks and you stole your gaze from Taehyung.

“After everything I’ve done. After every time I’ve stuck my neck out for you… you love him…” nothing about his eyes changed, they were still empty. 

And they began to scare you.

“Tae-”

“Don’t call me that y/n,” he threatened and took a step towards you. You retreated, heart beating, “Don’t call out to me like you have any right on me. It’s because of you. All this is because of YOU!,” suddenly he was screaming.

You gasped as your back hit the wall, terror freezing you in place. 

“I didn’t ask for this.” you whispered.

“You fucking asked for it y/n. How could you let this happen? You were supposed to be ransom. How did you become the main character?” he slammed his palm into the wall next to your head. “None of this would be happening, if you weren’t here.” his other hand made his way to his pocket. 

Your wide eyes followed his hand’s movement and caught the flash of silver. A scream ripped from your throat as soon as the gun came into view, shooting adrenaline through your systems. How did the situation get here?

You shoved Taehyung away with all the strength in your body and ran to the door, struggling with the massive extra lock, but sliding it open just in time as he lunged for you, making it out and shutting the door behind you and running as fast as your legs would carry you.

~~~

Up on the rooftop next to the house you just ran out of, the sniper who had his gun trained on the building next to you, saw you running out and immediately aimed his gun at you, following your path. His radio buzzed and one of his partners said, “Taehyung’s running after her, is she trying to run away?”

“I have no idea.”

“Do we engage?” the semi amused voice asked.

“Engage on who?”

“Her, of course.”

“The boss ordered us to keep her safe. If any one of you shoots her, you’ll have to answer to him.” he warned.

“I say we shoot a warning shot.”

“And call everyone’s attention?!” another voice chimed in.

Meanwhile, the initial sniper was already calling Yoongi. “I’m calling him, standby.” he said as the line connected and Yoongi picked up. 

“What?” he asked urgently.

“Boss, the girl just ran out of the house.”

“What!?” Yoongi yelled, “What happened? Who’s after her?”

“Your little brother.” the sniper said calmly.

“What the fu-”

“And sir, he’s holding a gun.”

“Do not engage. Get your men out of there, and you stay in touch with me and follow those two idiots. The rest of you disperse.” Yoongi hung up, his heart hammering in his chest and hands trembling as he called Taehyung. And called Taehyung again. And again.

[thedeathlysallows]

Ch.12: Mars

            “She’s what?!”

            The secretary- what’s her name again? Gianna? Is that the one we’re on?- shakes so violently she drops whatever stack of papers she had been clutching to her chest when she approached me.

            “She’s gone.” Gianna won’t meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened. I was just asked to tell you-”

            “Who told you to tell me?!”

            “R-Roseanna. She said to let you know she was leaving.”

            “Fuck!” I slam my fist into the stone wall, bits of dust falling to the floor. “She walked out the front fucking door?”

            “Y-yes.”

            Kit rolls her eyes. “Christ, Felix, you’re scaring the poor girl.” She swiftly gathers the scattered papers and puts them back in Gianna’s hands. “Here. Go back to your desk and don’t worry about this. You aren’t in trouble. Felix is just a drama queen.”

            Gianna looks like she’s about to argue, but scurries out the door when I throw another punch. This time at Demetri.

            “You helped her,” I yell.

            Demetri’s eyes darken. “You would accuse me of helping Roseanna escape when we both know damn well Aro has been keeping a close eye on her. Especially after you showed a complete lack of self-control by changing her in the first place.”

            “The same lack of self-control you showed when you kidnapped Kit?”

            Kit snaps her fingers, glaring between me and her husband. “Both of you stop. You’re being idiots. There’s no need for any of this.”

            “I disagree. Clearly, the two of you aren’t to be trusted. You’re the only two who even knew she was down there. Who else could it have been?” I look over at Kit and see the answer in her eyes, but she doesn’t dare say it. “No… she wouldn’t…”

            Kit sighs. “We all know how she gets when she wants something, Felix. Anne’s seen her opportunity for revenge against The Society and she’ll use Roseanna to get it. My advice? Just let it happen. Roseanna will come back after it’s done.”

            I narrow my eyes at the small girl, but she doesn’t shirk from my gaze. “You sound so certain. What are you not telling me?”

            “What I told her,” a lilting soprano voice calls out. Anne appears not a moment later, red hair falling down her back in shiny, springy curls. She smiles kindly if a little sadly. “Felix, Roseanna needs to do this. I freed her so she can fulfill her destiny. The Society needs to fall and she needs to be the one to bring it to its knees. I’ve seen it. Fire never lies.”

            My reputation may be that of a dumb brute amongst lesser vampires, but I know when to keep my mouth shut.

            Anne tilts her head and regards me with her eerily deep eyes. “She was never meant to be one of us so soon. You’ve altered her future in a dangerous way, Felix… yet… there’s not a path where she doesn’t return to you.”

            Of course she’ll return to me, I want to say. I’ll make her return. I’ll play cat and mouse forever if I fucking have to because she’s mine.

            But instead of actually saying any of that I simply incline my head. “Yes, of course.”

            “You have my permission to go after her if you so desire.” Anne checks her nails before adding, “Aro, I’m sure, would also appreciate an update on my brother and his family.”

            Her eyes briefly glisten with unshed tears before she sniffs and walks away. Presumably back to the tower. None of us know exactly how deep the fracture between Anne and Carlisle went after Edward came to us wishing for death.

            “Speaking of brothers,” Kit says. “Tell mine he’s an idiot and an asshole for not inviting me. He was invited to ours.”

            “That was before, Catherine.” Demetri’s voice is quiet as he speaks. “Too much has changed in less than a year.”

            Kit nods. “Right.”

            The somber mood change leaves me feeling antsy and awkward. Despite my annoyances with her, I do in fact consider Kit a friend. Maybe even a little sister. I don’t like how her former family treats her after defecting to the Volturi for Demetri, but I also know better than to bring it up. Demetri is her rock, her comfort, not me. Quite frankly I don’t want to be either. Roseanna and her mood swings are more than enough.

            “I’ll send your regards,” I tell her. “Try not to destroy the castle while I’m gone.”

            Her lips quirk up in a dejected smile. “I’ll try. Good luck, Felix.”

Poison Ivy

            The contacts are irritating and make me want to claw my eyes out, but I resist the urge, and ignore the glares from Edward and Alice while mom chatters relentlessly at me. Phil and dad both give me pitiful looks, dad going to for as to switch my water with champagne while mom isn’t looking.

            “You’ve gotten so pretty since the last time I saw you,” mom says as she twirls a strand of my hair around her finger.

            “She’s always been pretty,” dad interjects. “You just forget between visits.”

            Mom pouts. “No, this is something else. Have you had work done, sweetie?”

            “Oh my god, mom!” I shove her hand away, careful to reign in my strength so I don’t actually hurt her and walk off to the other side of the table setup. I notice Mike Newton and his friend Eric eyeing me from their table and groan internally. I hadn’t meant to show up and cause a scene, but it was just one problem after another on the way here. I had to stop and feed I don’t even know how many times, surely leaving a pile of bodies in my wake. Then, I had to get a dress, but every shop I went to only seemed to carry the most expensive, ostentatious dresses imaginable. The one I managed to find was on the tamer side of things, but still way too much for a wedding in Forks of all places. With the split up the thigh and the off the shoulder sleeves and the color I’m sure to be a topic of gossip for a month minimum.

            Did you see Sherriff Swan’s daughter? No, the older one. In the red dress? At her own sister’s wedding of all things! And the glitter on it!

            But…

            At least I won’t be around for that.

            And dad will be okay. He only cares about gossip when it’s beneficial to work.

            I’m broken from my thoughts by Edward and Bella walking up to me. Bella gives me an awkward smile, but Edward is stone faced.

            “I heard Alice threw all this together,” I say. “She did a good job.”

            Bella nods. “Yeah, it’s nice.”

            “Mom’s speech was… something else.”

            She laughs and lets out a breath. “I wanted to die.”

            “I’m glad it happened to you and not me.”

            Edward scoffs. “I’m sure Felix isn’t the marrying type.”

            “Excuse me?” I feel white hot rage surge through my veins. Even with being locked in a fucking dungeon for months by the very man we’re talking about, I still feel protective. Of him. Of our bond. Of all of it.

            And the newborn mood swings aren’t helpful either.

            Bella looks up at Edward. “Not here. Not in front of everyone.” She gives me a pleading look, her doe eyes so familiar.

            “Lead the way,” I tell them.

            We walk a short distance into the trees, away from prying human eyes and ears. Maybe the other vampires in attendance can hear us, but I’m not worried about it. Let them.

            “Alice saw you,” Edward says as if that’s some damning accusation.

            “Oh, Alice saw me? Oh no! How horrible! Get the fuck off your high horse,” I tell him. “I’ve get no clue what you’re being so nasty about. I came here to watch my little sister get married, maybe hook up with a cute guy, and I’m gone. I’ve got more important things to do than worry about what you think of me, Cullen.”

            Bella shakes her head in confusion. “So you aren’t part of the Volturi? You aren’t with Felix?”

            “No and no.” The half lie tastes acrid in my mouth, but I swallow it down. “I’ll even beat the two of you to the punch: Felix did turn me into a vampire, but he locked me in a dungeon for months after. Does that sound like I’m beloved by him or any of the others?”

            I don’t bring up Anne (or even Kit who I barely know). It feels like a weird betrayal to mention either of them. I don’t take time to examine the feeling, pressing it down until it’s buried beneath my rage.

            “But my how poison ivy lies,” a deep voice rumbles in the trees.     

            Felix steps forward, anger evident on his face.

            Something inside me settles at his sudden appearance and all I can think about is slamming my lips against his.

            Bella looks briefly terrified. “Maybe now isn’t the best time to give you a surprise.”

            She glances up at Edward who grimaces.

            Felix ignores both of them. Eyes never straying from me. I see the lust flashing in them as he takes in the low cut of my dress and my exposed thigh.

Mars

"You thought you could get away, hmm?" I grip her waist, pulling her closer to my body. "Haven't you learned by now that we belong together? You're mine."

"Last I checked, Rosie was a person. Doesn't she get a say?" A tall man with brown skin steps into our little meeting area, nodding at Bella and Edward to leave.

They do so gratefully. Likely ready to warn the other vampires in attendance.

Roseanna's eyes widen and she shoves me away. "Paul? What are you doing here? I thought you and the Cullens..." She trails off thoughtfully, a smile growing on her face. "Never mind. It's nice to see you."

Paul observes Roseanna warily. "Yeah, you too, babe."

Babe?

Babe.

Oh.

I'll kill him.

Here and now, I'll fucking do it.

Roseanna moves as if to embrace him and I find myself wrapping a hand around her wrist to keep her in place. "Don't fucking touch him."

Paul scoffs at me. "Dude, I don't know who you think you are, but you must not know Rosie very well if-"

"Don't call her that." I shove my way between the two of them, more than happy to end this little reunion.

"Or what?"

"Or it will be the last thing you do."

Paul puffs his chest out. "Tough guy, huh? I bet you were some loser jacking off in his mom's basement before some vamp stuck his fangs in you."

"Watch how you speak to me, boy."

Roseanna groans behind me. "Oh my God, I attract the worst men. Stop it! Both of you! If you ruin my sister's wedding I'll never hear the end of it from my mom."

"Your human sister's wedding," I point out. Caius will not be happy when I report the news to Anne.

"You say that like I have anything to do with her species status."

Paul takes a step back and looks between the two of us. There must be more than one brain cell between his ears because he says, "Woah, are you two together or something?"

"Yes," I say.

"No," Roseanna says at the same time. She sighs, shoulders sagging. "It's complicated."

Complicated?

I don’t find it very complicated that we belong to one another fully and completely. I don’t find it complicated that I would burn the world to the ground if she ever thought of leaving my side. In fact, from where I stand, this Paul character is the only complicated thing.

I look down at Roseanna. “I don’t find it very complicated.”

“Can we not do this here-“

“You’re the one who ran off, my lovely poison ivy. You’re the one adding any sort of complications.” I drop a hand to her waist and pull her close, watching the way her throat bobs as she swallows. Her eyes darken with lust and I know I could take her right here if I wanted.

“Felix…” Roseanna tries to move my hand. “Not here. Not now.”

“Then where? When? If you keep running, I’ll simply keep chasing. How have you not learned your fucking lesson, you stupid, stupid girl?”

Paul emits a low growl that seems quite pathetic to me. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

Roseanna’s eyes snap to him and she bares her teeth. “Don’t forget your place in my life. You don’t get to play white knight after you fucking ditched me in a phone call for Jacob’s sister. My life isn’t yours to worry about anymore.”

“Well maybe if someone worried you wouldn’t be…” Paul gestures to her body and I find myself holding her tighter. “…that.”

Roseanna laughs humorlessly. “Say it, Paul. Say what I am.”

“A bloodsucker. One of them.” He inclines his head towards the Cullen family.

“Oh, Paul, I’m not one of them. I’m worse. And you and your little friends just made my shit list, so run and tell Sam about how evil and bad I am now. I’ll be sure to let the Cullens know the same.”

Paul scoffs. “You’ve always been a fucking bitch, Roseanna. Someone tries to help you and you bite their hand off. I should’ve dumped you sooner.”

He leaves after that and I watch him go, tugging at the bond between Roseanna and I to gauge her feelings. She’s distraught. Utterly and completely overwhelmed with despair.

“I can kill him,” I tell her.

Roseanna nods. “I know. But leave it. The party’s over and I’m leaving anyway.”

“I should kill him. No one should ever speak to you like that.”

A small snort escapes her. “Then you’d hate to know what my mother asked me.”

“Most likely. These people here don’t treat you well.”

“My dad is great.”

I look down at her as she moves through the trees to the edge of the driveway. Bella and Edward are making their departure, people cheering and clapping for the happy couple. Roseanna watches them sadly.

“I know I’ve done it to myself,” she says after a moment. “I’ve made all of them hate me.”

“No.”

She rolls her eyes and sighs, leaning against me as I approach her. It feels right to hold her in my arms. It feels like she belongs.

“I did. Felix, we both know what an abrasive asshole I can be. Of course I made them hate me. But… it’s okay, I think. It’s… a relief to know the only thing I have here is my dad, and I can keep him safest by staying away. As long as he’s okay, I’m okay.”

I consider her words while reminiscing on our first meeting. When we met I wanted nothing more than to break her, bend her to my will. It never occurred to me until now that she was broken long before we met.

[cloggedarteri]

ive been reading the ffxv japanese translations and ive been taking notes as usual. take a peek if you'd like (this shit is not proof read, this came straight from the dome)

--ch 1:

♡the way regis speaks to noctis is so informal compared to eng...hes very close i feel

♡"Prompto: Ah, they sell Ebony here. Ignis will be happy"---prompto is so considerate bruh. its so sweet that he had an eye out for things ignis likes. it says something to have someone remember things about you....prompto has the fattest crush on ignis i can smell it

♡prompto is so cute omg: "Hooray. Just one more!" he says after their second fight with a herd 

♡dave asked for assistance in hunting down the last of the varmin in the area and there are three options: 1. do it for free. 2. do it for a price--2AP. and 3.ask my friends--150. the response for the second option is so awkward, noctis says: alright we'll do it...um the reward? AND THEN THE THIRD OPTION HAS IGNIS saying: It’s dangerous if we leave as it is. Tell us more about it......its so funny that ignis is very "he asked for no pickles on his burger" coded, speaking up for noctis

♡boys are very gun-ho/very impulsive...gladio had to hold the boys back before they attacked the infected dualhorn...very dad coded i love that for him

♡boys trying to figure out whos going to drive the car after its repairs... noctis is funny as hell. prompto said that he wasnt confident in his driving and noctis said:"im confident i will break the car again"...hes truly a passenger princess and i love it. a very self aware passanger princess

♡noctis is such a bro...he hears prompto wants to visit cindy in the future and he offers for him to borrow the regalia

♡ignis isnt saying his signature puns bruh...umbra came with the notebook and all ignis has to say is that hes a reliable messenger WHILE ENGLISH IGNIS SAYS THAT UMBRA "certainly nose how to find us" 

♡ahhh noctis is blushing when gladio puts him on the spot about wanting the marriage and prompto fucking calls it out too omg

♡gladio saying he wants to go for a dip in galdin quay makes me think of him dressing up as a mermaid for a party with the tail and pearls and everything...omg he does a little mermaid performance for iris's birthday b/c like any little girl she had a mermaid phase and he didnt want to disappoint his baby sister 😭 omg gladio i love you

♡with all the uncle ardyn fics ive read i find it really funny that during their first encounter arydn flicks the coin at the boys and says: "consider it your allowance"...arydn would be that uncle that pulls out a whole roll of 20s and 50s and 100s but then hand you a fucking dollar and say dont spend it all in one place...hes such an asshole😭

♡noctis is so cute bruh, he defo pegs me as a boy lacking in life experiences because he was all starry eyed when the zuzu flew away and said: "whoa, so magnificent", hes such a dork i fucking love him omg

♡the boys just called prompto a personality hire without substance when they were comparing him to dino

♡you know whats fucked up, everyone in the group had lost someone following the attack but we dont get a second to think about. yea noctis lost his father but the boys have all lost people, have all lost their homes...fuck gladios father died in action. ignis' uncle possibily died in action too. prompto's family situation is difficult but we can assume that his parents were lost in the casualty 

♡never noticed that this is probably the first time the boys see magitek troopers. it sounds like they know of them though (prob royal personel collected information about nifilheim tech---giving very cold war vibes ngl) gladio says: "so these are MTs

♡ end of the chapter gives us radio announcements and theres a segment talking about noctis: " He’s a calm person with a very gentle heart who loves animals and nature" --- now who the hell is telling them this. it gotta be regis wanting to gush about his boy     "And he’s also very serious, well-behaved, and always a top-scorer student." ---i had no idea he did well academically bruh. i cant help but imagine the effort it would have taken for him to be such an honor student, not only from noctis but from the boys too. how many late nights did he and the boys have to make sure he passed tests...ignis and gladio are very older siblings parenting their younger siblings coded and im so fucking sick        "On his day off, he seems to be doing community service to helps citizens." ---- NOW WHY THE FUCK DIDNT I KNOW NOCTIS HAD DONE COMMUNITY SERVICE, HE WAS REALLY THE PEOPLES PRINCE I HADNT KNOWN OMG HE WAS THE MALE PRINCESS DIANA IM FUCKING THROWING UP OMG MY SWEET BOY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

[ally-holmes]

Unseen | ER Dr. John Carter x Reader (Ch.3)

Series Masterlist

Chapter Two -- Chapter Four

Pairings: John Carter x Fem!Reader

Summary of the chapter: fast retelling of seasons 1 to 10. Y/N had followed John for so long, loving in the distance knowing that he didn’t feel the same. We digg into that.

Content warning: unrequited love, angst, emotional hurt, spoilers.

Word count: 2320

Unseen ER | Chapter Three

The stupid arrangement between Carter and Y/N was supposed to help them not make everything uncomfortable, awkward, or break each other's hearts. Good in theory. Everything is good in theory, mind you. In practice, though, Y/N felt unseen and that was utterly frustrating.

She was there when Carter had a relationship with the pediatric surgeon that was, technically, Benton's teacher. Y/N offered kind smiles and a supportive drink when the surgeon left the country leaving a heartbroken John Carter behind.

She was there when Dennis Grant, another student of surgery under Benton's tuition and a close friend of Carter's, died. Y/N listened to Carter's suspicions about Dennis killing himself because he felt Benton was way too hard on him. Carter was certain that Benton had been borderline bullying Dennis and he didn't know whether he should file a complaint or not. She offered as much help as she could. He was angry. He felt useless.

As might be expected, she was there when his cousin Chase overdosed himself. Del Amico was there too, sure, and precisely her presence was what made Y/N feel unseen. The three of them were in that room trying to force Chase into a detox state, cleaning his vomit and sweat, but Carter only had puppy eyes for Del Amico.

Y/N didn't mind.

Not really at least. She wasn't doing any of those things just to seem appealing to Carter; no, she did them because she was a good person with a huge heart that would've given her own life just to prevent the people she loved from suffering. Any kind of suffering.

Of course, that friendship with Carter led to her being introduced to Millicent Carter and her husband; Carter's grandparents. Millicent was a strong and determined woman, and Y/N didn't hesitate in entering arguments with the old lady when both were convinced of the opposite. "It's refreshing", is what Millicent used to say after some heated argument that ended up with both of them laughing at the strangled look on John's face.

After Chase was admitted to an institute for… well, his permanent damage due to the overdose of drugs, John had been afraid to face his family. Chase was the only one capable of being head of the company because John had no intention of abandoning medicine for that, and now John was the company's future. Carter avoided his family as much as he could, while Y/N had more meetings with Millicent, visited Chase every Thursday, and even called John's father a "pitiful excuse of a human" the moment she caught him trash-talking about his son.

She was also there when he lost his apartment and started living in Weaver's basement. She had offered her place, really, until he could find something else, but he refused every time.

She was there when John changed his specialty from surgery to emergency. That moment was something else. Both of them were exhausted after a night shift and she was too tired to listen to him complaining about his life.

"Seriously, Carter, why did you pick surgery?"

"Why does everybody ask me that?"

"Because it does not look like you enjoy it. I talked to Mark the other day and he believes you belong to the ER."

"No. You belong to the ER."

"I'm not saying it's between you and me, Carter. This is not some sort of gladiator's fight. All I'm saying is that you know how to treat the patients here, you have a soul, a heart… John, you move as this place belongs to you. Then you go to surgery and that disappears. So, why surgery?"

"I honestly don't know. I wanted to prove I'm good enough, but– I don't know."

"Are you saying that Mark Greene is a bad doctor?"

"Hell, no! I didn't say that!"

"Then? What's going to be, Doctor Carter?"

And boy, the gleam in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. He might've been a mess inside his brain, but she was able to read and understand him, to predict his decisions even when he was still uncertain.

Then he got in love with Roxane, the insurance agent. Then he broke up with her because he was foolishly in love with his infuriating student, Lucy Knight. Y/N watched them dancing around each other and for the first time, she thought there was nothing to do anymore. Their chemistry was electrifying. It was just a matter of time, the moment she stopped being a student the both of them would end up in a relationship that would be intense and long. John and Lucy were the kind of people that would just grow old together without changing their behavior together, loving each other just with the same passion as when they were younger.

Yeah…

Sadly enough, they both were stabbed and she wasn't there. Just as both of them were gasping for their last moments of life in a dark room in the ER, Y/N was on a speed dating night. Not great. She ran to the County General when she received the call from Kovac.

Losing Lucy was tough.

Lucy was a cinnamon roll, a ray of sunshine that everybody loved. Losing her shadowed the ER for quite some time, and it certainly broke Carter down. Guilt ate him alive and it took a long pursuit before he allowed someone close to him again, even Y/N. When Abby mentioned that he was using drugs Y/N world shattered. His claims and frustration when he was confronted about it were hard to endure, but as he ran away Y/N and Benton followed him. She held him tight on their way to the clinic.

She'd been having her own problems eating her alive since the beginning, of course, but she wasn't able to voice them to John. Y/N had helped Ross on several questionable interventions without batting an eye and he had covered for her innumerable times; seeing him go away from Chicago felt like losing a family member. Oh, there was also the time when Mark Greene got brutally beaten and he developed PTSD that changed his behavior and demeanor toward the patients. She was there for him, swallowing his harsh words and his mood changes; Greene apologized properly when he recovered and he focused on teaching her everything and beyond.

There was this one time that changed the dynamics. Y/N stopped hiding in the shadows, she decided that she wasn't going to keep her mouth shut anymore and that she was worth more than she was accounted for. That moment came when the Carters were hosting a gala, John had asked Y/N to accompany him as she usually did every year; however, at some point his attraction to Abby made him forget that he already had a date because Y/N saw him approaching Abby, who was wearing a stunning dress. As he entered the small personnel room, Y/N followed.

"Abby looks great," she said.

"Yeah. We're going to the– Shit," John turned to look at Y/N; she tilted her head to the side arching her eyebrows. "I am so sorry. I totally forgot. I– Shit, Y/N, I'm sorry."

"Sure. It's not like we assist together every year, is it?" Probably her sarcasm was clipped more than needed if John's facial contortion was something to go by. "I don't mind that you want to go with her. Well, actually I do 'cause I do like you, but I understand that you don't feel the same way as I do. However, I would've liked you warned me beforehand, you know? Have fun tonight, Carter."

"Y/N! Please, don't be mad I–"

"I'm not mad. I'm upset. Not that it really matters, though. Just go, Carter."

After that night, Abby was weary of Y/N although she was extremely polite toward her. In the end, it didn't matter what her feelings were because John would never correspond. Y/N was starting to see that. She pushed herself away from him on a personal level, not that it actually helped because she loved him, and he was so charming and cute, and such a good friend when he actually put some effort into it.

Mark's death forced her to take a two-week leave. She was unable to focus on anything as she expected to see her mentor, her teacher, her friend, and her big brother, turn around the corner with that glint so characteristic in his eyes. During that time was when Ross and Carol contacted her again, they knew how terribly hard it would have been for her and so Y/N flew to Seattle. When she came back to Chicago, Carter pointed out that she was different; he had no idea she had left the city, though, and she didn't tell.

When Millicent died John's life compass broke. He'd been informed at work about his grandmother's passing, Abby had been occupied with her own family business and Y/N wasn't working, therefore he was quite tired and lost when he went home. He was informed that the body was still resting in his grandmother's room, so he went upstairs to say goodbye and watch over her until the funeral home would take her. What he did not expect to see was Y/N sitting on a chair next to the body of Millicent Carter, one of her hands cupped between hers.

"They called me when it happened," she whispered. Her voice sounded rough and watery.

"You've been here all day?"

"Where else would I be?" Her sad defeated tone spoke volumes to Carter. She was mourning Millicent as much as he was.

Y/N placed the cold hand on top of the covers with delicacy, she dried her cheeks and got up, clearly dizzy from a day full of crying and short of food. Carter extended his arms, ready to catch her if needed; she gifted him with a sad smile. Her eyes were puffy, tired, and red-rimmed. Then he broke. John closed the distance between them hugging her by the waist, hiding his head on her shoulder and she corresponded the affections with a hand on his back and another on his head. Even then, even now, she was protecting him, she was there for him.

Abby's brother crashing the funeral was the last straw for John, the thing that made him understand that he needed a change of air, he needed something to find himself again, and going to Africa where Luka was, was the right choice for him. He never told anyone that the final push was seeing Y/N receiving a kiss on her mouth at the entrance of the hospital from who, according to Chunny, was her boyfriend.

He had lost everything, and so he left.

The moment he came back, he expected to come back to his old life which is why Abby's rejection hurt so badly. John couldn't really blame her, he was just being a petulant child wanting to change, find himself, and evolve only to come back to the same people with the same feelings as he left. Bullshit.

In the small room, Abby had put his stuff in a plastic bag in his locker.

"Who kicked you, Carter?" Y/N asked him while tying her hair.

"Abby broke up with me."

"Wasn't that what you wanted?"

"No!"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. We all assumed you did, I mean… You were about to propose and then you flee."

"Things were complicated. I was in a bad place, and she was too."

"Precisely. What made you believe you would come back and she'll be waiting for you?"

"I thought she loved me. I love her I…"

"You fall in love way too easily, Carter. Tell me, and be honest with me, did you or did you not start to fall in love with that french nurse that was already with Luka even when you were determined to propose to Abby? Ah, there it is, the hit puppy look I'm immune to. You can't hide things from me, remember? I can see your soul." Y/N's playful but stern tone shook his mind.

"I shouldn't have told you that she existed."

"You should stop misunderstanding infatuation for love, my friend."

"How's your boyfriend?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Do you love him?"

"What are you trying to do now, Carter?"

"I just want to know if you love him. I've never seen you dating before, I'm curious."

"I, on the contrary, have seen you dating all the time. Fuck you. I'm going to work."

Going back to Africa wasn't a big decision for John. The moment he knew he was needed, he was ready to go and bring Luka home. He could barely remember why he hated the guy so much before. As he packed his bag with medical instruments and supplies, Abby was trying to stop him while Y/N brought another bag for him to fill. He stood for a moment looking into her eyes, she understood and she had his back, as always.

He was leaving a very angry Abby behind. As he approached his car, Y/N called his name, bringing another bag full of items.

"Here. I hope they don't confiscate anything in the frontier."

"Thank you, I– Thank you."

"Be careful, John."

She smiled at him with resignation, and she turned to leave, knowing there was something he needed to do more than anything in this life. He grabbed her arm, turned her to face him and he kissed her. Slow and romantic was the kiss they shared. Breaking apart, she looked at him confused.

"John…"

"Goodbye."

He couldn't say that he loved her. He didn't know if he did. He turned around and left; never thinking about that kiss again, about how selfish it had been.

To be continued...