#also thanks to jane for thinking of me when she saw this tweet

[mikotomizuki]

https://twitter.com/killamons/status/1270771123907633152?s=19

Me, a thirsty Leo stan:

[sazc94]

Pietro and Bunny

Here is my second entry for the wonderful @msmarvelwrites 2k Challenge.

This a spin-off from my Bucky fic: The three times Bucky broke your heart. Part 1 linked Here.

It follows the same timeline and explores the relationship of Pietro and Reader (Bunny) More.

Words 4890 ish

Themes. Angst, Suggestions of smut. But mostly lots and lots of fluff. 18+ Because of the smut suggestions.

Part 2. (Part 1)

2015. Pietro and you stayed in touch. Both getting swept away in your busy year. Pietro had gone into Business with Wanda creating a fashion company. His dad was helping to fund the start-up costs, but Pietro was never one to take a handout so worked an extra job, he mostly did courier services. this allowed him to be flexible with his days.

Meaning he was able to pick up supplies and do whatever else it was his sister had him running around the city for. It also helped pay towards the rent of his apartment, his father covering half. One day in the summer when Pietro was rushing around he entered into the Baxter building and literally ran smack into a head of blonde hair.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. This is my fault. I keep getting told I should slow down.” Pietro said bending offering a hand to the woman he had knocked over. “I’m just as much to blame, honestly I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and all though I may be nicknamed The Invisible woman, I need to remember that I’m not actually invisible” replied the blonde brushing herself down.

She was pretty in that conventional way but her piercing blue eyes drew Pietro in. “Pietro”, he said sticking out his hand. “Susan, but you can call me Sue”, she replied shaking his hand.

Pietro and Susan began dating in the autumn. All though you and Pietro still stayed in touch. The contact was dwindling. He also found it incredibly hard not to call you by your old pet name. “Hey sis, Vis”. Pietro said walking into the small office space they rented in downtown NYC. Wanda was hard at work behind her sewing machine.

“So you’re dating Susan Storm,” Vision said. It wasn’t a question but Wanda’s eyes shot up from her machine to look at Pietro with an acquisitional look. This was news to her. She knew you were dating someone but Susan Storm was practically a celebrity with her brain and looks, plus her high profile relationships with Reed Richards and Victor von Doom. Not to mention her dad was a renowned Scientist too.

“How did you know?” Pietro asked grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl in the middle of the space. “Your pictures from last nights date are all over the internet. Someone called Prez Hilton broke the story” Vision said shrugging. Wanda shot Vision a puzzled look, he may be great with technology and smart enough to work with Tony Stuck, but Vision didn’t usually follow much on the internet. “Ah yes, Pepper Potts showed me how to set up google alerts”. Vision said before heading out the door.

2016

Pietro knew you and Bucky had grown closer over recent months, but it still took him by surprise when he heard from you that you had gotten back together. He knew he had no right to be jealous as it had ultimately been his decision to break up, and he was dating the stunning Sue Storm. But it didn’t stop the small seed of jealousy he felt.

What didn’t help matters was that Sue had been working later and later at the Baxter Building, and getting closer with her ex, Reed. Pietro tried to shrug it off but ultimately after almost a year of dating, he could see that Sue’s heart belonged to another, and if he was being honest. Part of his heart still belonged to his Bunny. So, after a night out in NYC Pietro had kissed Sue Storm goodnight for the final time.

Pietro respected you too much to ruin your newfound happiness with Bucky and it seemed like he had finally turned a leaf over. That was until he got a text from your cousin explaining that Bucky had been unable to get the time off for your Grandma’s funeral.

Pietro didn’t even think twice about using his links to his dad to secure a flight out of NYC for the funeral in September. His heart shattered when he saw you at the airport, with tear-stained cheeks, a red nose, and puffy eyes. He didn’t hesitate to pull you into a huge hug.

“Shhh Bunny” – the old pet name slipping out. “It’s okay, I’m here. She was a wonderful woman. She wouldn’t want all these tears” he said releasing you from his grip. It had been two years since you’d last seen each other in person. Other than the brown in your hair having slightly grown out, no doubt due to your mind being on more pressing matters. You looked exactly the same. His Bunny.

After the funeral Pietro planned to catch the first flight out of Miami back to NYC. With the launch of Scarlett Witch fast approaching Pietro didn’t want to leave his sister to deal with all the pressure herself. At least that’s what Pietro told himself was the reasoning. Truthfully it was that he couldn’t bear to be around you and not be with you.

But when your family had insisted on putting him up for the night and feeding him, he couldn’t refuse.

After the wake when your Mum had insisted on Pietro leaving the dishes, he grabbed two beers from the fridge and went looking for you. He found you sat on the private beach your grandma’s house backed on too.

You sat with one of Bucky’s jumpers wrapped around you. It wasn’t cold but still, you felt cold, so you had grabbed his jumper as a source of comfort and warmth. Pietro stopped for a second before swallowing. This wasn’t about him; this wasn’t about Bucky. This was about you and being there for you whilst you waded through this grief. 7

“Hey Y/N. I thought I’d find you here. Your grandma used to tell me about how she found the sea hypnotising” Pietro said sitting down on the sand before offering you one of the beers he had grabbed.

That night Pietro sat with you in solidarity offering you nothing more than friendship and a pillar of support whilst you cried and then laughed, and then cried some more reminiscing about your cherished times with both your now deceased grandparents.

After Pietro returned to NYC, he put the thought of you out of his head, instead, he turned his efforts to focus on the upcoming December launch party. Thanks to their dad’s connections. Wanda’s hard work and a few strategic tweets and IG posts from a hard-working friend who did add campaign work for a living there was a real buzz around Scarlett Witch.

“Hey Brother, I was thinking of asking Y/N to attend the launch and to wear something from the evening collection for the launch, Jane is in town and already said yes, she’s bringing her Boyfriend Thor, I extended two further invitations to them encase Thor’s brother Loki is around. What do you think?” Wanda said throwing herself onto the grey sofa opposite Pietro. They were at Pietro’s apartment as he had the most amount of spare room.

“Excellent idea, she should bring Bucky too,” Pietro said sipping on his coffee. Pietro wanted to remain in your life and after the funeral, your conversations had been a bit more frequent. Most importantly Pietro wanted you to be happy.

Pietro brought a date along to the event; her name was Crystal and they had been on a few dates before. However, they both had an understanding that this was more of a casual thing and that neither of them were looking for a relationship with each other. Crystal had gone off to schmooze with some of the guests when you arrived. Pietro made a mental note to introduce you both later, he was sure you would both get along with your similar senses of humour. Pietro couldn’t take his eyes off you the moment you entered the event. You looked stunning, Wanda had asked for Pietro’s input when choosing the outfits that You, Wanda and Jane were going to wear. Pietro had chosen a silver two-piece skirt and top for Jane, a scarlet red ensemble for his sister and a Black strapless dress, the top was form-fitting made from chiffon fabric, the skirt cut out the front made of black tulle sparkled with the touches of glitter.

Pietro had chosen the ensembles for two reasons, one they were undoubtedly the showstoppers from Wanda’s evening collection and they all complimented each other well. He made a mental note to ensure Peter Parker got a photo of the three of the ladies together before the evening got away from everyone.

“Bunny! I agree absolutely amazing. Bucky, you don’t look too bad yourself” Pietro said kissing you on the cheek. Pietro was wearing a deep blue suit; it made his hair and ice-blue eyes pop. Wanda had insisted on the blue over a grey suit Pietro had originally planned on wearing. Pietro didn’t miss the smile on your face after they had complimented you, it was as big and bright as it had been that final summer. And you've got a smile That can light up this whole town

After photos and ensuring everyone’s, drinks were full, Wanda and Pietro left the small group of old school friends in the private area of the event and made their way around the guests. The press contained fashion bloggers, small fashion magazines, social media influencers and gossip columnist too. Pietro found his way back to Crystal after he’d finished making the rounds. He was on his way to introduce you when he spotted an unfamiliar red head amongst the group.

Thor introduced her as Natasha, Pietro tried not to give away the surprise in his eyes, but he could sense that there was some tension as you avoided making eye contact with both Pietro and Bucky. Pietro kept his nose out of it for the most part, but when the pair of you said your farewells for the evening, he couldn’t help but assure you that he was there if you wanted to talk.

“Was that Natasha Romanoff I saw hanging around Thor and Y/N’s group most of the evening?” Wanda asked when she and Pietro slipped into the back of the waiting car. “Yes it would appear so, did you know she was coming?” He asked loosening his tie. “Vis said Jane had asked to bring a friend along as Loki couldn’t make it, I told him to tell her it was fine as she technically had four invites. I didn’t realise it was going to be her”, Wanda explained, there was an emphasis on her.

Regardless of her brother's relationship status with yourself she genuinely liked you and always would, her loyalties lied with you and as far as Wanda was concerned, she didn’t even want to know Natasha, something about her didn’t sit right with her from the few interactions they’d had over the years.

“Will Crystal meet you at your apartment? I didn’t see her as we were clearing away”, Wanda said changing the subject. “Huh? Oh, no she’s meeting her friends downtown at the Voodoo Lounge, something about a magic night” Pietro said looking out the window as the streets of NYC blurred into one. He couldn’t help but worry about you, you could put on a bright smile and laugh all you liked, but Pietro knew when you were faking.

2017

The launch of Scarlet Witch had gone better than Pietro and Wanda had hoped. When the label opened up to online orders in February, they had sold out of everything in 30 minutes flat. Now they were looking at opening up an in-person store in the lower east side sometime early next year. Pietro was working late one night in the office when Vision turned up.

“Hey Vision, it's good to see you but Wanda’s not here,” Pietro said sitting back down behind his desk. It was late and the numbers had started to dance around the screen but Pietro was determined to get these figures finished before the weekend. It was the least he could do as Wanda had been working flat out, she insisted on sewing as many of the items herself as possible, and when she had hired two seamstresses, Wanda still checked all their work.

“Thank you, Pietro, but I know she is back at our apartment. It is actually you that I came to see” Vision said. James or Vision as everyone called him very rarely looked nervous, yes he sometimes missed social cues but he was never one to act nervous. Pietro sensing this was important saved his spreadsheets and shut down his computer.

“What’s going on Vis?” Pietro asked walking over to the sofa area where vision, stood awkwardly. “Traditionally, this question would be asked to your father, but as your father was not in your lives much until recent years, I felt it better to ask you” Vision babbled on. Pietro had a pretty good where this was going, but this was Visions plan and Pietro wasn’t about to jump the gun, besides if this was going where he thought it was, it was only right to make him suffer ever so slightly.

“Well Vision, I’m all ears. What is it you want to ask?” Pietro asked grinning. “Well you know how much I adore your sister Wanda, and we have been together a good many years now. So I would like to ask your permission for your sister's hand in Marriage” Vision asked. Vision’s heart was pounding so loud and fast he thought that he might collapse. Pietro’s eyes watered, he was happy for his sister and he was of course going to say yes, but he wanted to have a bit of fun first. He quickly stood and turned away from Vision, heading towards the small fridge of the small office kitchen.

“So you want to marry my sister, are you certain about this Vis? Because once that ring is on her finger, there is no backing down, even if you get cold feet.” Pietro remarked. “I assure you Mr Maximoff, I want this with my whole self” Vison responded. Pietro couldn’t continue with the charade anymore. “Of course you have my blessing Vision, I would be honoured to call you brother,” Pietro said handing Vision a beer.

Vision proposed to Wanda that summer on the fourth of July. The three of them attended Tony Stark’s exclusive fourth of July bash at Stark Tower. Vision had a good relationship with Stark and Pepper was a hopeless romantic at heart. Shortly before the fireworks, Vision and Wanda wandered off to a private balcony three floors above the outside decking where everyone else would watch. Tony introduced the display then the three of them slipped out of the crowd as the fireworks got underway.

Tony had his AI software J.A.R.V.I.S set to record the whole thing. As the firework display got underway. Vision got down on one knee and popped the question. Wanda of course squealed and said yes between tears. That’s when Pietro, Pepper and Tony appeared with glasses of champagne and toasted to the happy couple. “Congratulations Sis, also please let me be there when you call Y/N and tell her, I know she is absolutely going to flip her shit when she finds out,” Pietro said kissing his sister on the cheek.

Sure enough, Pietro was right, three days later when Wanda Facetimed you to show of the ring your excited screams were loud enough to be heard all through NYC. “Oh my god. He did it, he finally proposed! I was wondering if he was ever going to pull his finger out and propose. Oh Wands I am so happy for you, you deserve this” you said. Wanda was so elated she missed the small crack in your voice towards the end of the sentence, but Pietro didn’t.

“Here Pietro want’s to say hi. Go on tell her all about how you had known about this since March! I’m going to get ready Visions parent’s got into town today and we’re meeting them for dinner before they see a show tonight,” Wanda passed the phone to Pietro before heading off to her shower. Pietro had come round specifically to hear the call. Pietro waited for the door to close before he turned his attention back to your face on his sister's screen.

“Everything okay Y/N?” Pietro asked. You sighed before letting your hair out of its ponytail, You were avoiding the question. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m tired, going out later with Peggy Carter, she’s the girlfriend of Bucky’s teammate, Steve. We’re going to get some lunch and do a bit of shopping, Steve’s working on some projects and Bucky said he’s running some extra training drills at the stadium. Not that he needs to the season doesn’t start for another two months, oh I’m sorry. I’m wittering on, how are you? Had any good dates recently?” you asked forcing your voice to be light and carefree.

Pietro knew what you were doing but it wasn’t his place to call you out on lying. “Naa, not really. None that would ever go anywhere” Pietro said. The two of you stayed on facetime for a few more short minutes before Pietro reluctantly advised he had to get going to the office.

September 2017

“So Y/N I have a very important question, will you be one of my Bridesmaids?” Wanda asked. Pietro walked into Wanda’s office just in time to hear you scream your response. “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU KIDDING OF COURSE I WILL” Wanda moved the phone from her ears and looked up at her brother who just grinned. “You owe me 20 bucks I told you she would scream,” Pietro said making himself comfortable in the chair opposite his sister's desk.

“ I should be offended, but I’m in too much of a great mood to care” you chuckled. “Oh, is that so?” Wanda teased. Pietro felt sick, had Bucky proposed? Worse, were you pregnant? “I got offered this amazing job opportunity, it would be working for Stark Industries, Pepper Potts approached me directly about it the other week, I shot it down but she called me again today doubling the offer,” you squealed.

The weight that had threatened to crush Pietro lifted, not that his sister hadn’t noticed the change in his complexion a few moments ago.

“Oh my god Y/N, That’s amazing! Are you going to take it? I miss you and would love to have you nearby like old times. And I am not only saying that so you can do my wedding planning for me” Wanda sang. “I don’t know, I said I would think it over and get back to her after the weekend, I’m going to talk it through with Bucky tonight” you replied. “It sounds like a great opportunity Y/N” Pietro responded with earnest.

“Huh, that’s weird, I wonder what she’s doing here,” you said out loud “Who’s where?” asked Wanda. “Oh um nothing, look I got to go I just got to Buck’s and I’m cooking dinner, going to talk to him about Tony’s offer,” you said before hanging up. Wanda and Pietro just looked at each other. Pietro got up to leave but Wanda shot him a look as if to say she wasn’t finished with him.

“You still love her” she spoke plainly. “He doesn’t deserve her. He’s always posting pictures of him and that Natasha doing “Official” Lions events” Pietro replied simply. “You are right brother, he doesn’t deserve her, but like I told you all those years ago. If you had asked her she would have waited. You don’t get to complain that she moved on with someone who was a big part of her life for 13 or so years” replied Wanda.

She was right and Pietro knew it. He sighed before lifting his gaze to meet his sister's cold blue eyes. “You’re right.” He said simply before exiting the room.

Pietro awoke to his phone ringing at 2 am, he wasn’t going to answer it until he saw your name and the picture of the pair of you from Uni flash up on his phone. “Y/N? Is everything okay? It’s 2 am.” Pietro asked rubbing a hand along his face. You didn’t respond.#

“Y/N, are you safe? Should I call Bucky?” he asked urgency surging in his voice. “NO!” you practically shouted. “Sorry, no please don’t call Bucky,” you asked quietly.

Pietro shifted leaning over to turn on his bedside lamp. “Bunny, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?” Pietro pleaded. The comfort in his voice was enough to break you all over again. You started sobbing all over again. How you had any tears left was beyond you.

“I’ll fucking kill him” Pietro growled. Pietro knew, the pictures Bucky had been posting on IG, the tears now, the way you had withdrawn recently. You didn’t need to say it for him to know. “Please don’t, I don’t have enough money to bail you out of prison” you managed to squeak.

Pietro felt his heart shatter, all he had wanted since you two had started dating was to save you from the heartbreak you had experienced in the summer of 2010 and he had failed you. That night Pietro stayed on the phone with you until 4 am where you finally fell asleep exhausted from the day's turmoil.

May 2018

Pietro and Wanda had helped you apartment hunt. They helped decorate and furnish your apartment ready for your move to the Big Apple in January. Wanda had introduced you to her friends slash employees but to Wanda, they really were her friends: Doreen Green, Janet Van Dyne, Julia Carpenter and Laura Kinney. Including you on many girls nights.

Vision and Pietro always walked you home after nights out. Wanda made sure to invite you to brunch with her and Vision when Pietro was attending. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to give you and Pietro another shot, it’s just you weren’t certain he would want you, after all, Bucky had really done a number on you again.

Sighing you picked up your phone and decided to take a leap of faith and text him, the two of you hadn’t spent any time alone together since you had moved in January.

Pietro’s Pov

Pietro’s phone buzzed. You, me and that little cafe in times square tomorrow = date? – Y/N x Pietro was stunned, he was sure that the time for you guys to be a couple had long passed. “Brother, are you listening?” Wanda asked agitated at her brother's lack of respect, the two of them were going through the plans for the rest of the year. Plans for when they would drop certain collections, run certain in-store promos. When they would run online promo’s.

“Sorry, it’s just Y/N just text me, asking me on a date” Pietro’s voice came out dazed. All though Wanda was miffed, she couldn’t help but smile. Looks like Y/N had finally listened to the girls last night when they went out for Monday night happy hour. “You had best text her back then brother” She responded raising her eyebrows at Pietro. I thought you’d never ask. How does 5 pm work? Pietro shot back.

Perfect x Your response came through almost immediately.

Your Pov

You got to the café early, you were too nervous to focus on anything in the office. And as you were only scheduled to work until four, you decided it was just easier to go to the café and wait with a book or something, you had to deal with this nervous energy somehow. You walked in expecting he’d be late, but Pietro got there early and he stood and waved. You walked to him Pietro pulled your chair out and helped you in. Pietro sat down opposite you and shot you a small nervous grin.

“I ordered you a hot chocolate and a cookie, I know how much you like hot chocolate even if it’s warm out like today,” he said shyly. “Thank you,” you said, you felt yourself blush. For goodness sake Y/N this is Pietro, you dated him for three years get a grip you silently berated yourself.

As the date got underway you felt yourself relax and slip into a comfortable bubble, you told Pietro about a recent mishap where one of your colleagues Darcy Lewis had accidentally thrown toner waste all over you.

You couldn’t help but smile as Pietro threw his head back laughing like a little kid. He took your hand and rubbed small circles on the back of it, that familiar feeling made your stomach erupt in butterflies.

I've been spending the last eight months Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again.

December 2017 Pietro’s Pov. The snow was falling, and the streets of New York City were quitter than usual, a sign that Christmas was just around the corner. You had finished for a nice long Christmas break earlier that week and last night Pietro had taken you out for drinks and dinner as a surprise. However, due to the snow the restaurant had been unable to open as staff couldn’t get in due to all the delays on the subway. Pietro had felt crestfallen.

Right up until you had suggested that the pair of you skipped dinner and went back to Pietro’s straight for dessert. Pietro had struggled to leave you this morning. As he only had a few things to deal with before Scarlett Witch shut down for three weeks for a well-earned extended Holiday break he hadn’t left until later that morning around 10:30.

You had once again found your way back to the bright bubbly person you and everyone else knew you to be. Pietro as always being that safe place for you to heal. The way you danced around the kitchen cooking pancakes had Pietro beside himself. You really were ultraviolet. That fire you ignited, Good, Bad and undecided, Burns when I stand beside it Your light is ultraviolet. Pietro thought to himself.

All though you had only been back together since May this time Pietro was never going to let you again.

Pietro was leaving the office for a late lunch when his phone pinned with a google alert. James “Bucky” Barnes announces engagement to Natasha Romanoff! Read the headline. Fuck. That piece of shit. Pietro felt rage on behalf of you. He knocked on Wanda’s door. “Hey, Wanda. I know were almost done here anyway, but I got to go early” Pietro shifted uncomfortably.

“Why?” Wanda asked simply. They were almost done but Pietro was meant to be shutting down the website whilst Wanda finalised everyone’s surprise Christmas bonuses. Pietro didn’t say anything simply handing his phone to his sister. Wanda scanned the headline and the article. Sucking in a deep breath. “Go. I’ve got this. Go check on Y/N” she said her eyes softening.

Pietro practically raced home. Just as he was coming out the subway his phone rang, caller ID showing Sam. “What the fuck is that dickhead playing at?!” Sam asked. Pretty much the entire friend group had cut ties with Bucky after they found out he had been cheating on you again.

“I have no idea, but he better hope to god I never see him, because I will not hesitate to rip him a new one, look I’m just letting myself into my apartment building, Y/N stayed here last night as she didn’t have work today and we’re meant to be going to Stark’s Christmas gala this evening. I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later. Pietro said ringing off before Sam could respond. Pietro knew Sam would understand.

“Hey handsome how was your day?” you asked not taking your eyes away from the street below. Pietro breathed a sigh of relief, he was certain he would have come home to find you curled up in bed, or worse the floor crying. You were happy together but that didn’t make Bucky’s betrayal sting any less.

“It was good, busy” he replied taking off his coat and walking over to join you at the window seat. Wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. He smiled to himself as he caught sight of the kids below. He could faintly see in the reflection of the window that your eyes were rimmed with red.

“How about you Bunny? I saw a news alert. I’m guessing you know about the engagement?” he asked. You hummed a response. Pietro knew you loved him; he also knew that you knew how much he loved you. But that didn’t make seeing you hurt any easier. Suddenly you shifted turning around to face him. His floppy silver-blonde hair covering those beautiful ice blue eyes, they looked at you with such love and endearment, they also spoke a silent promise. You kissed him gently on the lips before standing up.

“Come on Quicksilver let's shower before the Stark Christmas Gala,” you said pulling your boyfriend along behind you shooting him a knowing grin. God, he fucking loved you.

All this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me

[janeyseymour]

"the wrath of mama seymour- or whatever the hell I’ve been labelled as" -Jane

Jane takes it upon herself to handle some nasty comments one particular account has been leaving the queens.

WC: 3072

For the most part, the queens got rave reviews, and their queendom was full of love and support. Every once in a while though, the queens got some hate, specifically Anna of Cleves and Jane Seymour- the two queens who arguably had it the least bad. While the others got hate sometimes, it was never anything that the queens would deem as true. Some might tell Katherine or Anne that they were “whores”, but the two knew this was not true. History might have depicted them as this, but they lived their lives. They knew they weren’t. Anne had actively tried to reject the king, and Katherine was forced into her situations. What these people had said about Jane and Anna was true- or at least those two thought so.

The fourth queen wasn’t one to put up with the comments. She would openly complain about them to the other queens, and she had even made it a point to call out the hateful comments that she got. Jane Seymour wasn’t like this.

The silver queen, hot-tempered and not so kind in her first life, knew that if she had said anything, it would only fuel the hate comments. So, she stayed quiet about it, letting these comments eat at her slowly.

“You’re responsible for Anne’s death. Don’t you feel even the slightest bit guilty about that? Bitch.”

“We all know the “i’m a kind sweet mum” act is fake. If you’re a bitch, just show it and let us hate you.”

“You don’t even deserve to be in the show. You had it the easiest.”

“The only one he truly loved? He only loved you because you had a son. But that son died before he could even do anything. After you died, you still failed. You don’t deserve to be remembered as queen, and you definitely don’t deserve to be in the likes of the other queens.”

That one hurt. That one comment hurt. The third queen did what she could to let it roll off her shoulders, but to no avail. That comment made her stomach flip.

Still, she did her best to stay kind, finally deciding to put out a video on her Instagram in attempts to stop the hate coming her way.

“Hi queendom. It’s Jane,” she said as sweetly as she could. “I’m here to address something with all of you. As we know, the idea of the queendom is to build others up, not tear them down. Now, I know we all know I say in my song that I’m unbreakable.” She paused, mulling over how she was going to word this. Her tone lowered a bit as she spoke quietly, “But the truth is, I’m not.” Her voice broke a bit as she said this. “I see every comment you all leave. I see every direct message, every private message, all of it. The kind comments are so lovely, and I appreciate them all so much. The not-so-kind comments are few and far between, and for that I’m thankful, but the ones that I do see hurt. I think we all just need a reminder to be kind to one another. Please remember the golden rules we were all taught: treat people the way that you want to be treated. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. That’s all I have to say for today, but I’ll leave you with this- you are enough. I’m sending you all so much love! Thank you.” She blew a kiss to the phone and waved before turning the camera off. 

Almost immediately, fans started outpouring love to the third queen.

Roseamongstthethorns: i just wanna know who said something mean to jane because we are going to have some words

Sixqueenswalkintoabar: @janeyseymour we love u pls know that

AnnieBoleyn: whos talkin shit on my janey. I’ll fight em for u

Jane rolled her eyes at the green queen’s comment before replying.

JaneySeymour: @annieboleyn, i’m just speaking in general terms. Also, language dear.

AnnieBoleyn: @janeyseymour i say what i want #sorrynotsorry

Catherine_Aragon: you chaotic gremlin @annieboleyn

Jane laughed a bit at what Catherine had commented when she saw a notification pop up. A direct message from the account that had left that one particularly nasty comment.

Stop acting like you don’t talk shit on people. All you did was talk shit on Anne in your last life. That’s what got you the “queenly position” that you clearly didn’t deserve in the first place. Right? Just shut up bitch.

And so, Jane shut up. She ended up deleting her last post where all she did was try to address the issue, something that the other queens did quite often. She almost deleted her entire page accidentally (or not-so-accidentally if you asked the third queen).

“Janey! What are you trying to do: delete your whole account?” Anne teased. 

“N-No,” the silver queen stammered out. “I-I uh, was just trying to delete a post. I guess I just hit the wrong button. Could you show me how?” She feigned confusion. It worked- the blonde was always asking for social media guidance anyway. 

Everyday, this hateful account would send her messages. And every single day, against her better judgement, she opened the messages. The silver queen would roll her eyes and try to go on with her day, but it was affecting her, and the other queens were starting to take notice. 

“Mum?” Katherine tried to get her adoptive mother’s attention. “Are you okay?” She had glanced at Jane, who was staring at her phone with tears in her eyes. 

“Hmm?” The blonde lifted her gaze to the pink haired queen. “Oh.” She blinked away the tears. “I’m just fine dear. Just-”

“Are you having some trouble reading what’s on your screen?” The fifth queen was trying to be helpful. It was known in the house that the blonde wasn’t the most educated when it came to reading and writing. It was also known that Jane sometimes had a hard time reading what was on her screen if she didn’t have her glasses. “Here. I can help you.”

“Oh no, it’s nothing. I just-” The blonde was interrupted when the youngest queen took the phone out of her hand and read over the message on the screen, a horrified look appearing on her face. 

“This fucking account,” Katherine huffed. 

“Kit,” Jane sighed, never one for cursing unless necessary.

“Mum, this is necessary. This account has been harassing all of us.”

“Have they really been?” Jane’s interest piqued. Kat nodded her head. “Interesting.”

Over the next few days, Jane stayed quiet on social media. She saw the tweets and the comments on her “most recent post” asking why she deleted the video of her talking about being kind. Before she made her next move, she had to speak to the other queens. 

“Hey Lina?” Jane asked one night as she was making dinner, the first queen accompanying her. 

“What’s up Jane?”

“Kat told me about this horrid account and how they’ve been sending all of us hate messages. Do you mind if I take a look at what they’ve been sending you?”

“If you want, but you have to promise you won’t go all Mum.”

“I- I can’t promise that, but I’ll do my best.” The Hispanic handed over her phone, the messages already on screen. The first queen knew the exact account she was alluding to.

Queenly my ass. If you were so queenly, Henry wouldn’t have gone through all of the trouble he went through to divorce your sorry ass.

“What the-” 

“It’s really not a big deal mija. Whoever this is, they don’t matter. Just leave it be.”

“Annie?” Jane wandered into the second queen’s room as they were all winding down for bed that night.

“What’s up Janey? Need some makeup remover again?” the green queen laughed as she scrounged her room for the wipes that the third queen asked for every once in a while.

“Actually, no. I bought a big thing of them the other day. I came to ask about something else.”

“Oh. What’s up?” Anne unceremoniously threw herself down on her bed. 

“Kit and Lina were telling me about this awful account that has been-”

“Do you want to see the messages?” The blonde nodded, and the green queen threw her phone at the blonde. 

You deserved to be beheaded, you whore. You should’ve never been queen in the first place, chasing after the king and getting him to divorce Catherine. How does it feel to be so wanted for such a short amount of time before all you were was another body?

“Annie, know that is not true.”

“I know Janey. Why do you think I’ve just ignored it? He’s not worth any of our time anyway.”

“I mean, he’s going right against the entire reason for our show.”

“Yeah, but he’s just not worth it. Don’t go all Mama Bear on him, okay?” Jane shrugged.

“Cleves?” Jane made her way into the kitchen first thing in the morning. “Are you back from your run yet?” She pulled her robe close to her body, muffling a yawn as she reached for the coffee pot.

“Seymour, you’re up early,” the fourth queen noted as she walked in through the back door.

“Well you know we’re both the earliest risers. Anyway, I have a question for you.”

“You wanna see my phone to check for any messages from that one shit account on Instagram?”

“How- how did you know?” Jane sputtered, flabbergasted.

“I heard you talking to Aragon and Boleyn. Here.” Anna tossed the blonde her phone.

“I don’t have my glasses with me. Oh boy.” Jane squinted her eyes to see the text on the phone.

Ugly bitch. How’s it feel following the only queen he truly loved, only to be rejected 6 months later? Shouldn’t even be compared to the other five. No idea how you managed to get yourself into the group, you irrelevant bitch.

“What he said isn’t true Cleves. You earned your place here.”

“What he said isn’t far from the truth Seymour. I know I didn’t have it the worst. I arguably had it the best if we’re being honest.”

“Please don’t let what he said get to you.”

“Hey Cath?” Jane wandered into the writer’s room late at night, two mugs of tea in hand.

“What’s up Jane? Can't sleep?”

“Not really. I’ve had a few things on my mind lately.”

“That account that’s just been shitting on all of us lately?” The sixth queen looked at the blonde knowingly. Jane just nodded.

“Here.” Cathy handed over.

What other stories do you have to claim? How about the one where you allowed your husband to groom Elizabeth, Anne’s precious daughter, and you joined in? Why don’t you reclaim that one, you sick twisted bastard?

“He’s-” Jane started.

“He’s not wrong.”

“Anne’s forgiven you for that.”

“She has, but I’ll never forgive myself. Is there a reason you’re so invested in this one account?”

“They’ve sent some not so kind things to me in the past few days.”

“Hey Kat?” Jane nudged the girl sitting next to her. When she heard a hum, she continued, “Can you tell me what that one account was saying to you?”

“Oh, it’s really nothing far from what other hate messages I’ve gotten.”

“Can I see? Only if you want to show me. You don’t have to of course.” The pink haired queen silently passed her phone over. The blonde adjusted the glasses on her face before she began to read. 

You whore. You deserved to die. And I hope you felt that axe come down on your neck.

“Oh my god.” Jane was disgusted. 

Did you really think you posting a stupid video of yourself speaking about being kind would stop me? It won’t. You six are all terrible women and it’s honestly deplorable that you would paint yourselves to be angels and use your stories to embrace the power of women when you know you have no power. You never did. You were all terrible people in your past lives. There is no way you changed that much in your present life. Worthless bitches. 

To say the blonde was fuming was an understatement.

The next day, Jane went live- something she had never done before. It took her a few tries, but she was able to figure it out without any help from her fellow queens.

“Hello sweet queendom,” Jane said sweetly as she still tried to adjust her camera. “The other queens are out for the day, so I figured I would go live. We’re just going to wait a bit until a few more people get here, but then I have something that I’d like to say.”

The third queen greeted as many fans as she could as they made her way into the live, but she kept her eyes peeled for the one account that was sending them all hatred. As soon as she saw them enter, the warmth and love that had been in her eyes vanished.

“Ah, okay. I think we can get this started.”

Roseamongstthethorns: Why did you delete the video of you telling people to spread kindness?

“Well Rose, that’s actually why you’re all here right now. I have something to say about the hate that the fellow queens and I have been getting. So listen up, because I’m only going to say this once. Do you hear that, instagrammer1549?” She knew she was being ballsy calling out this one particular account, but there were no names attached to the account. She wasn’t doing anything to put this person full of hatred in danger. 

“We can all deal with some of the not so kind comments that are thrown our way. We as queens choose to ignore them and carry on with what we do because we love what we do. We support each other, and we hope that using our voices and sharing a part of our story will help empower other women to share their stories too. We’re all in this together. However, when you start coming at us for things that we couldn’t prevent, like... dying... let’s say, it is absolutely disgusting. Catherine couldn’t prevent being divorced. She handled that situation like a queen, even going as far to get down on her hands and knees and beg Henry to let her know what she did wrong. Anne refused the king for years. I couldn’t help that I died, and I certainly couldn’t help that my son, who you have no right to talk about, was plagued with a sickness that took him much too soon from this earth. You have no right to talk to Anna like that. She was beautiful then, and she is beautiful now. And even if she wasn’t so beautiful on the outside, she is so much more beautiful on the inside than you could ever be. You sending those comments does not help your case much. Katherine was forced into those relationships. She was a mere child, and we all know that children can not consent. How very dare you go and tell a young woman that you hope she felt it as the axe came down on her neck. What kind of, as you called Cathy, “sick, twisted bastard” says something like that to a nineteen year old? And finally, how dare you bring up horrid stories from our past and plague Cathy with the guilt of something that happened almost 500 years ago.”

Sixtudorqueens: okay Jane, go off. We support.

“None of us are perfect. We all know our imperfections, and we’ve all made peace with it. Yes, we all did some very questionable things in our past. What happened then, while we all are horrified at our past behaviors, we have forgiven each other because we know the truth of our story. We did what we had to do to survive. But, the six of us as a group have made such wonderful process in this life, and we are truly coming out of it better than we ever could have by ourselves. Those girls are my family. Say what you want about me. I don’t care. I have a family to help me build myself back up when haters tear me down and my heart is broken. But, so help me god, if I hear of one more person coming after any of our children or my sisters again for something so personal- well,” Jane laughed bitterly. “-quite frankly, you don't want to know what will happen. Keep your disgusting comments to yourself.”

The comment section blew up, and the amount of likes her live was getting was astronomical. 

Sixqueenswalkintoabar: okay mama seymour, GO OFF!

Roseamongsttthethorns: YES JANE. @instagrammer1549, there is a special place in hell for you.

Catherine_Aragon: Jane I thought we talked about not going Mum.

“Lina, I bit my tongue for long enough. It had to be said. On that note,” Jane paused to take a deep breath, the warmth that usually radiated off of her returning. “For the rest of the queendom who has shown us nothing but love and kindness, thank you. We really do see every message, comment and twitt-”

Sixtudorqueens: tweets*

“Tweet,” Jane corrected herself. “So thank you for that kindness. For now, I’m ending this live, but I do hope that you will all remember what I’ve said. Please, only spread kindness. That’s the, as Anne and Kat say, “vibe” that we’ve created for the queendom. If you don’t have anything nice to say, perhaps just don’t say anything at all. Please remember that you have a voice. Please remember to use that voice to spread kindness and love, not hatred. The world already has enough of that in the world. No need to create more.” With that, Jane ended the live.

“So,” Anne bit back a smirk at the dinner table that night.

“We all saw your live Seymour,” Anna bit the bullet and spoke about what they were all thinking.

“Kind of impressed you could figure that out without one of us Mum,” Katherine smiled slightly. “I'm proud of you.”

“What I said had to be said,” Jane affirmed as she took a bite of her dinner. “You don’t come after my family and not feel the wrath of “Mama Seymour” or whatever the hell I’ve been labelled as.”

[iamlostandinneedofcoffee]

Okay so like I know that a happy ending is an impossible dream for TMA and that idea is going to die a massive fiery death in the end so there is my theory for what I think is going to happen. Spoilers for all of TMA up to 192. 

So as we know this podcast is going to likely have a tragic ending- as we can see from Jonny’s tweets: “Just having some *delicious* thoughts about the final episodes of Magnus. I'd always kind of assumed it could only be powerfully tragic on one vector but, goodness, the more I think about it... there are so many layers that could be added. A rich chocolate torte of tragedy.”

The idea of there being “so many layers” and the moments that one particular character has been having has led me to the realisation of somethings that might be happening. Either Jon and Martin can’t undo what has been done and the world can never be fixed, leaving the two, Georgie and Melanie and the few survivors that they can save to ultimately be doomed in this hellscape of fear… Pretty hopeless right?

Or what I think is more likely, they can fix the world, change back to what it was, but a cost. I have heard some theories about it being Jon, but considering how much he is struggling and having issues with his connection to the eyes and is humanity I feel death would be too much of a death... release(?) if that is the right word and would pack as much of a punch as Jonny is suggesting the finale will. 

So I propose that the finale will be gearing up to the ending of TMA and Jon making his final choice as Jon prepares to give himself up/die/sacrifice/lock himself away with the entities or whatever horrible fate is a need, just as he is about to or just before, turns to look at Martin one last time, only to see him taking his place. And before Jon has a chance to do anything Martin says something possibly to the effect of “I love you and I won’t doom the world for us so live for me” and reverse the world. (Referencing to MAG191: What We Lose when Martin tells Jon- 14:34-15:15, be aware this is just me transcribing)

Jon: Martin when the time comes I need you to promise me you won’t try and stop me Martin: I promise *sad, mournful agreement* I love you, Jon. Jon: I love you too. Martin: But I’m not going to doom the world over it. Jon: Thank you Martin: And you have to promise me that you are going to do everything in your power to live, that you’re not going to sacrifice yourself at the first opportunity just because you feel guilty about what happened. 

I feel like Martin is going to be the one to make the final choice and it’s going to hurt so much more. 

It’s well established that Martin blames himself in his own way for the end of the world as we knew it. This is well expressed in MAG192- Quiet where Martin has a conversion with himself in his domain(fear realm?). Martin expresses how they “need to make a proper choice. We can’t just react out of shame or fear or whatever.”- referring to the “Peter and Elias?” to which Martin says he “chose wrong!” 

Martin has felt useless in many situations, not in control or able to truly control or affect things and when he finally had the opportunity he in his opinion “chose wrong.” 

Martin has lost so much in this series: from his security and safety being forced to live in the archives when Jane Prentiss attacked him in Season one(MAG 22: Colony), his friends- Sasha(MAG 39: Infestation) and Tim(MAG 119: Stranger and Stranger), Jon when he ended up in a coma, his mother shortly after the Unknowing and ends up being isolated and lost to the lonely due to Peter. 

Martin’s story is a tale of loss and pain and regardless of that throughout loving and doing everything he can to care for and love those he cares about, regardless of the consequence to him. 

Martin dropped out of school to take care of his mother at 17(MAG 56: Children of the Night), cared and did everything to protect Jon and the people at the institute from Peter from leaving tape-records around the coffin hoping they will lead Jon out(MAG 132: Entombed), to pushing himself away from everyone when they sought him out in his forced loneliness to trick and manipulate Peter(though he admits it was originally just a good way to get killed, but that changed when Jon came back).

Martin puts other before himself and does what he can to protect people and make sure they can live and be as safe and happy as possible, and this all leads back to that conversation in the tunnels in MAG191: What We Lose because I don’t think martin can just sit back and let Jon sacrifice himself. I think Martin is going to step into the role of the “hero” he said he couldn’t be, wasn’t, to Peter and Elias back in the Panopticon(MAG 158: Panopticon), and make sure that the world gets to live once more and that the one that he lives the most is safe, even if he can’t be there with him. Because that conversation where he made Jon promise not to sacrifice himself at the first chance because “because you feel guilty about what happened” could also be something he is saying to himself. And just because he won’t “doom the world over” Jon and their love, doesn’t mean that he won’t doom himself for it all to survive, leave Jon on his own. 

And in the end, that ending would just a horrific mirror image of everything that has happened to Martin reflected in Jon’s new life post-apocalypse.

Jon would have lost the one person he cares about the most without any way to stop it, leaving him on his own. His closest friends before the end of the world are either dead- Time and Sasha- or might be there for him will never prioritise him or care about him as they did before- Georgie. And this is in no way something against Georgie, but as Jon says she prioritises those she loved and protects those under her care which is Melanie. And Melanie has never really liked Jon, she can understand him, understand it wasn’t his fault and respect what he has, is and will be going through if he loses Martin, but will never truly be close to him due to how similar they are(MAG 158: Panopticon). And finally, there is no way he will ever be close to Basira, which he ever truly was and especially after what happened to Daisy.  

Jon would be alone, with all his friends and loved ones having turned away from him, died, left or never been there for years as he copes with his new version of him after the apocalypse separated from everyone because of his avatar status and experiences. An all would be able to do is live for Martin even though he may not want to for that is all Martin wanted from him. 

A parallel to the sad, isolated, guilt-ridden and lonely Martin that we saw throughout season 4 when he lost his friends, Jon, his mother and was isolated from any connection that did not truly care for him- Basira, Daisy, Melanie and Georgie. 

And if Jonny wanted to make it even sadder, after all it is a horror podcast with a tragic ending- it could have only a temporary solution and Jon, possibly Melanie and Georgie, are just alone knowledge the world will end again and only they will understand what happened to them and what they have seen and what is to come. 

(Also this theory may explain the web’s influence, images, contacts we see he has had cause like influencing the final decisions… or maybe this is part of the web’s plan and Martin’s sacrifices makes the world worse and the Web have more power? A possible idea?)

But in the end, it would fit Jonny’s message that The Magnus Archive’s final episodes would be “powerfully tragic”, with “ so many layers.” overall a sweet dessert of tragedy for us to mourn when it ends and cry over for times to come as we look back and see the threads and shadows leading us to the end. 

But then again we have a few episodes till the end where they can introduce more plot points and devices for the end. And they have sewed many seeds of possible false endings and narratives to trick us before and this might be another one. But either way it is interesting… thread. 

Just an interesting theory I thought I should share... 

[addictedtoeddie]

The full Esquire Spain interview translated from Spanish:  

Eddie Redmayne trial: guilty of being the most talented (and stylish) actor of his generation

The Oscar winner talks about what it means to premiere a film with Aaron Sorkin (The Chicago 7th Trial on Netflix) and filming the new part of the most famous saga of all time under the watchful eye of its author, J.K. Rowling.

By Alba Díaz (text) / JUANKR (photos and video) / Álvaro de Juan (styling) 10/23/2020  

At the Kettle’s Yard Gallery in Cambridge, stands alone and leaning on a piano Prometheus, a marble head made by Constantin Brâncusi, and the only piece of art that Eddie Redmayne (London, 1982) would save from possible massive destruction. He tells me about it as he leaves the filming set of the third installment of Fantastic Beasts in the early days of an autumn that, we suspect, we will never forget. It begins to get dark as the actor nods seriously: "I promise to do my best in this interview."

Eddie Redmayne made himself in the theater despite some voices warning him that he could not survive in it. "Many people were in charge to tell me that it would never work, that only extraordinary cases make it and that I would not be able to live from this professionally." Even his father came home one day with a list of statistics on unemployed young actors. Redmayne, who is extremely modest, polite and funny, adds: “But I enjoyed theater so much that I got to the point of thinking that if I could only do one play a year for the rest of my life… I would do it. And that would fill me completely.

Spoiler: since then until today he has participated in many more. He set his first foot in the industry when he debuted at the Shakespeare’s Globe Theater and won over critics and audiences. He then landed his first major role in My Week with Marilyn opposite Michelle Williams. And then came one of the roles of his life, the character he wanted to become an actor for, Marius. With him he sang, led a revolution and broke Cosette's heart in Les Miserables. “I found out about the Les Misérables auditions when I was shooting a movie in Illinois. Dressed like a cowboy. I picked up the iPhone and videotaped myself singing the Marius song. I always wanted to be him ”.

Now Redmayne is an Oscar winner - thanks to his portrayal of Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything - and the protagonist of one of the most important sagas in history, Fantastic Beasts. He plays the magizoologist Newt Scamander in it. When I ask him what it means to him to be the protagonist of a magical world that is so important to millions of people, Eddie sighs and takes a few seconds to answer. “I have always loved the Harry Potter universe. Some people like The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars ... But, for me, the idea that there is a magical world that happens right in front of you, that happens without going any further on the streets of London, that. .. That exploded my imagination in another way.

During the quarantine, J. K. Rowling, who has been in charge of the script of the film, sparked a controversy through a series of tweets about transgender women. Redmayne assures that he does not agree with these statements but that it does not approve of the attacks of some people through social networks. The actor was one of the first to position himself against Rowling alongside Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and other protagonists of her films. "Trans women are women, trans men are men, and non-binary identities are valid."

After having spent a while talking, Redmayne confesses to me that he has never been a big dreamer not to maintain certain aspirations that ended up disappointing him. So he has always kept a handful of dreams to himself. One of them was fulfilled just a few weeks ago with the premiere of The Trial of the Chicago 7, a film written and directed by Aaron Sorkin that can already be seen on Netflix and in some - few - cinemas. “I was on vacation with my wife in Morocco and the script arrived. I think I called my agent before I even read it and said yes, I would. She probably thought the obvious, that I'm stupid. After that, of course I read the script, which is about a specific moment in history that I knew very little about. I found it exciting and a very relevant drama in today's times. "

And it is that having a script by Aaron Sorkin in your hands is no small thing. Eddie Redmayne has been a fan of his work ever since he saw The West Wing of the White House. “His scripts have delicious language and dialogue. As an actor, it's fun to play characters that are much smarter than you are in real life. That virtuosity is hard to come by. I really hope that audiences enjoy this movie and feel that there is always hope. " He remembers that since he released The Theory of Everything he has recorded, to a large extent, English period dramas, “and although the new Aaron Sorkin is not strictly contemporary,” says Redmayne, “to be able to wear jeans and shirts and sweaters instead of so much tweed is great ”.

Besides acting, art was the only thing the actor was interested in, so he ended up studying Art History at Cambridge University. “My parents are quite traditional and when I told them I wanted to act they gave me free rein but on the condition that I study a career. And I'm very grateful for that because ... Look, beyond that, when I play a real character I usually go to the National Portrait Gallery in London quite often. There I lock myself up. Now, for Sorkin's film, I went through a lot of photographs and videotapes. Art helps me to be more creative, to get into paper ”. If he were not an actor, he would be, he says decidedly, a historian or perhaps a curator. "Although I think he would be a very bad art curator."

Against all logic, Eddie Redmayne is color blind. But there is a color that you can distinguish anywhere and on any surface: klein blue. He wrote his thesis on the French artist Yves Klein and the only shade of blue he used in his works. He wrote up to 30,000 words talking about that color with which he became obsessed. “It is surprising that a color can be so emotional. One can only hope to achieve that intensity in acting. "

Like his taste for art, which encompasses the refined and compact, Redmayne seems to be in the same balance when it comes to the roles he chooses. When I ask him what aspects a character he wants to play should have, he takes a few seconds again before answering: “I wish I had a more ingenious answer but I will tell you that I know when my belly hurts. It's that feeling that I trust. In my mind I transport him to imagine myself playing that character. When I read a script I have to really enjoy it. You never fully regret those instincts. It's like when you connect with something emotionally. "

So we come to the conclusion that all his characters have some traits in common. "You know what? I never look back, and this is something personal, but I do believe that there is a parallel between Marius in Les Misérables trying to be a revolutionary, someone who is quite prone to being distracted by love but at the same time is willing to die for his cause, and Tom Hayden from The Chicago Trial of the 7 who was a man who had integrity and was passionate and fought for the things he believed in. So I suppose there may also be similarities between a young Stephen Hawking and Newt Scamander. There are traits in common in all of them that I don't really know where they come from ”.

When we talk about the year we are living in, in which it is increasingly difficult to find hope, we both let out a nervous laugh. "There must be," Redmayne says. “There is something very nice that Tom Hayden, the character I play in Sorkin's film, said to his former wife, actress Jane Fonda, just the day before she passed away. He told her that watching people die for their beliefs changed his life forever. In that sense, I also think about what Kennedy Jr. wrote about how democracy is messy, tough and never easy ... As is believing in something to fight for. I look at history and how they were willing to live their lives with that integrity to change the world and I realize that somehow that spirit still remains with us. " We fell silent thinking about it. "There must be hope."

I tell him about my love for Nick Cave's blog, The Red Hand, and one of the posts that I have liked the most in recent weeks. In it, the singer affirms that his response to a crisis has always been to create, an impulse that has saved him many times. For Redmayne there are two activities that can silence noise: drawing and playing the piano. “When you play the piano your concentration is so consumed by trying to hit that note that you can't think of anything else. Similarly, when you draw something, the focus is between the paper and what you are trying to recreate ... There I try to calm my mind.

Before saying goodbye, I drop a question that I thought I knew the answer to, but failed. What work of art would you save from mass destruction? "How difficult! I could name my favorite artists but still couldn't choose a work. Only one piece? Let me think. I am very obsessed with Yves Klein, but I would stick with a work by Brancusi. There is a sculpture of him, a small head called Prometheus, in Cambridge's Kettle’s Yard, on a dark mahogany piano. The truth is that I find it very ... beautiful ”.

Before leaving, he confesses to me - with a childish and slow voice - that he would like to direct something one day. We said goodbye, saying that we will talk about his next project. Next, the first thing I do is open the Google search engine. "P-r-o-m-e-t-h-e-u-s". Although Eddie Redmayne has trouble distinguishing violet from blue, he doesn't have them when choosing a good piece. He's right, that work deserves to be saved.

* This article appears in the November 2020 issue of Esquire magazine

Source: esquire.com/es/actualidad/cine/a34434114/eddie-redmayne-juicio-7-chicago-netflix-entrevista/

[your-rose-highness]

Tell me what is Love (ch- 7)

Chapter 7

Note: Feat JB of GOT7

It was 5 am when the sound of the door opening startled her. She scurried out of bed, last night’s memories flooding her senses all of a sudden. Jaebeom spotted her near the bedroom and said a weak hello, “you can go back to sleep, I’m just here to pick up some clothes for Jae in.” He didn't seem to know where her clothes would be and hankered around the place for a bit when hye hee decided to help him.

“Her clothes are here. Would you like me to?”

“Ah! Yes, thank you.”, he said relieved.

Hye hee found a pair of Jane’s favorite boyfriend jeans that she often said were ‘better than boyfriends.’, the softest tee shirt, and some inner wear packed in a bag. Jaebeom seemed more than just thankful for it.

After he left, hye hee decided to shower and charge her phone which was dead since last night and she hadn't had time to look at it. Turning on the faucet, she stood still in the shower for a while, letting her warm water run its course. It relaxed her muscles and cleared her head. Warm showers always did wonders. Her relaxation time was cut short when her stomach grumbled and she was overcome with a terrible hunger pang. Getting out of the shower, she hastily borrowed the yellow pajamas that jane kept at home for her whenever she decided to stay over. Hye hee had jane dedicated pajamas at her place too. The familiar smell made her smile.

Quickly skimming through Jane’s fridge, she realized that the only thing that didn't look questionable was the box of kimchi jane’s mother always sent her- always two, for hye hee as well. She decided to make some kimchi stew for the three of them. She cooked rice expertly at this point and cleaned the kitchen.

“I should get Jane some groceries. The girl would starve herself.”, she thought to herself.

6.30 am. Jaebeom and jane should be back soon. She switched on her phone to call jane to find out when she saw.

Missed Calls- 22; Messages-36.

Baekhyun had been calling her since last night, last at 4.10 am.

Should she call him? Or ignore his calls altogether? Maybe he found out about the attack? Or did Suho show him the fan’s tweet?

Her thought was cut short when she heard ruffling outside. They were home.

Jane was okay. Complained occasionally of a throb on the head once in a while. They had breakfast and the two were more than thankful.

“I couldn't have swallowed that dirty water they called soup anymore.”, jane groaned.

“You had it ONE time.”, Jaebeom scowled at his sister.

“Oh! Look at him!! I’m a patient.” she dramatically said, at which Jaebeom rolled his eyes.

The siblings’ bickering was a welcome change for Hye Hee. After helping Jane into her bed, hye hee decided to go home.

Jaebeom rushed out, “I’ll drop you home.”

“Umm. it’s fine Jaebeom…”

“Look, you’ve done a lot for us and honestly I need to make sure you get indoor safe…”, he said, grabbing his keys, “I won't take no for an answer. Cmon.” he replied when Hye hee was about to counter.

The morning sun hit their faces and Jaebeom’s features were more clear than ever. The bags under his eyes were evidence of how tired he was. 

His skin glistened like gold and his eyelashes were longer than hers. Why do men always have better skin?

Baekhyun’s pretty hands were always Hye Hee’s source of envy. The dork always showed off his hands in front of her and purposefully borrowed her hand cream in class.

They arrived soon and Jaebeom was kind enough to walk her to her door.

“Alright! All clear.”, he smiled.

“Please come in. I’ll get you a coffee quick.”

“Oh. I don't drink coffee.”

“Ah! I have a collection of teas!”

“Oh? Haha. maybe I’ll come in because I’m intrigued.”

She opened her tea cabinet and left him to hove and choose.  She quickly went to her bedroom to drop her bag when she felt something weird. Her heart began pounding hard against her chest. Had those people who came earlier found their way in? She found herself coiled in fear as she quietly stepped back out. Her actions didn't go unnoticed, and Jaebeom asked in a voice, soft as a whisper, “what is it?”

���I think someone was here.”

“Was something taken?”

“No.”, Hye hee replied starkly.

“You’ll stay at Jae in’s. Let’s go.”, he said hurriedly, going back into the bedroom to get her bag.

He had barely opened it when on the other side of the door stood Baekhyun. His hair crumpled and eyes were still half shut.

Jaebeom’s lips parted in surprise and turned to look at hye hee.

“Baekhyun? What are on earth are you doing here?”

Baekhyun didn't answer, his eyes zeroing on Jaebeom, “Who is this?”

Jaebeom snapped out of his surprise and quickly bowed to greet him. “Hello, I’m Hye Hee’s friend.” 

Baekhyun’s expression turned grave, as though betrayed. Sensing the tense air, Jaebeom excused himself.

“If Jae in needs something, please don't hesitate to call.”, she whispered to him as he left.

He nodded hurriedly, “Stay safe, Hye Hee.”

“She’s fucking safe. Don't act as if you know what kind of relationship we share.”, baekhyun yelled from across the room.

“Baekhyun, please! What is wrong with you? I’m so sorry Jaebeom. He must have been worried.”, hye hee apologized sheepishly before sending him off.

Hye hee and baekhyun faced each other and baekhyun marched to the couch.

“Get out.”

“Why didn't you answer my calls?”, baekhyun questioned.

“I don't have to answer your calls you know! I have my own life!”

“I know! I’ve never trespassed your life. I only wanted to know how the interview went. I called you the whole fucking day, Song Hye Hee! Are you telling me you didn't have a minute to just let me know? What kept you so busy, huh?”

“So that gives you the authority to break into my house?”

“I was worried about you. And who the hell was that? You always said you didn't allow men inside your apartment.”, baekhyun asked, at this point, his ears and face had gotten very red.

“I don't have to tell you anything.”, hye hee said in a low voice. She walked over to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

“What did you say? Are you dating him? Really hye hee?”, he had followed her into the kitchen. The proximity made her heartbeat crazy once again.

Calm the hell down, Song Hye Hee, she told herself.

“Why can't I? Did you expect me to stay alone all my life?”, she shot, turning to face him.

They stood inches away from each other. The air around them felt heavy and they found it hard to breathe. The effect that they had on the other was still intact.

Baekhyun felt his hand twitch, aching to just hold her hand, be able to pull her in his arms, or even better, kiss her like how he had done years ago to show her what he had felt.  Hye hee could feel his piercing stare on her. She met his eyes for a drifting moment and it was there. Baekhyun was in pain. She saw it etched across his eyes. As their eyes found each other, it felt as though the air between them was sucked away and they found themselves lean into each other for a brief moment when the boiling kettle whistled. 

Both of them turned away from each other, breathing, as though they had forgotten to.

She stirred Baekhyun’s matcha tea as she finally gathered the courage to say, “I’m not taking the SM job.”

“Why?”

“It’s dangerous. People might find out about us. It’ll create chaos for both. I don't need that.”, she said blankly. “Also, where were you hiding? I didn't you in the bedroom.”

“I was sleeping beside the bed… on the floor.”, he mumbled.

“Why? Now my bed doesn't match your international standards?”, she asked, disgusted.

“NO. I just thought you wouldn't want me to be on your bed.”

Hye hee rolled her eyes at him and proceeded to hand him his cup of matcha.

“I like that coffee you made me last time.”

“Well, drink this today.”

“Ugh. no. its too ugly.”

“Hey, you said you liked matcha tea when you went to Japan two months ago and were considering to shift!”

“But that was made by professionals…. This only looks like you are giving me something super toxic!”

Hye hee was now furious and stood up to snatch the cup from his hands.

“I’ll drink it, don't be so crazy. You don't even have the right to be mad. Coming home in the morning with your boyfriend..”, he scoffed softly against the cup.

“I don't think you should come here anymore.”

Baekhyun stared at hye hee, his face scrunched with surprise. “What, because of that dude? How long have you been dating him? Also, he didn't seem surprised to see me. Did you tell him about me?”

“Jaebeom has nothing to do with this. But it’s best if you and I keep a distance. Taeyeon wouldn't like this if she knew.”

“Why are you saying this? Is that guy possessive? Well, then you got to break up with him right away.”

Hye Hee was torn between wanting baekhyun to love her and also wanting him to stay out of trouble from the public eye. For the first time she wished he wasn't an idol, wishing he didn't ever meet Taeyeon, never had a baby with her; yes, she had to think about Sarang as well, would she steep that low and destroy a child’s life because of just her emotions and attachments with Baekhyun.

“You know how I feel.”, Baekhyun hesitated, taking a seat next to her.

“If I could, I’d do anything to be by your side right now. But, I really don't know how or what I should do.”, he continued, tugging at his hair in despair.

“Hye hee consoled him without a word. She placed her hand on his shoulder, patting, knowing very well that it wasn't easy on him either.

“I tried. I tried to make things better with Tae, but I don't know why it’s just not the same. There’s a distance I can't seem to overcome. At times I feel like this relationship is choking me. Every morning there’s a dread in my heart. Doing the same things, just out of love, and I’m pretty sure it’s the same for her. We hardly talk, only on matters concerning Sarang do we ever feel like we’re married. I want to quit, hye hee.” he sobbed unable to control the rush of emotions.

What hye hee was now sure of was, this was more than just her. Baekhyun was in a terrible state, not just because he wanted to stay with her, that was secondary. This was about him being growing tired of pretending. Byun Baekhyun, the sunshine of many all through his life was seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. He was lost and chained with responsibilities and that was killing the person he was.

“I come looking for you because I can breathe here. You're home to me. My old friend… my love.” he sniffled, his voice broke as he looked at her.

“It’s hard for me to carry on every day without seeing you. I came looking for you even when you didn't know. I knew about the cafe you went to and would sit there for hours waiting for you. I didn't know why then. I just had to.”

“Why did you continue living with her then?”, she queried.

“I was… I was afraid to lose another person. When you left me, I couldn't register what had happened and we had just debuted, that had me working 20 hrs a day. Its when I stopped running I realized the void you left behind and what a fool I had been for gambling something so pure.”

They sat silent for a while, registering what happened.

“Is that your boyfriend?”, he asked suddenly.

“No. that’s jane’s brother. Why?”

“If you want me to stay away, I will. I can't be a bother for you too.”

“Shut up and sit. Did you have breakfast? Of course, you didn't, you just woke up.”

“Can I have that peanut butter sandwich and that glass of hot chocolate, please?”, he spilled.

“What! Byun!”

“Please! Such a good combo.”

“Alright. Go wash your face, you look all red.” she avowed.

Pulling out the bread from the cabinet, she walked to the fridge when a booming voice made her jump.

“Ah!! What a relief to let all of that off my chest!!!”, Baekhyun screamed. 

“Byun!! Keep your VOICE DOWN!”

[tvehyungs-gf]

85, 57, 60 and 6 with kook pleasee 💛🙆🏽‍♀️

Kooksters - Youtuber!Jungkook Drabble (Gamer!JK)

✧ I love you.✧ Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.✧ You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.✧ Why can’t we get matching clothes?

“Jeon Jungkook. That’s it, that’s the tweet.” You laughed, your phone clutched in both of your hands as you laughed lightly to yourself. You swore you were the funniest girl in the world at this very moment, but it was quickly ruined when the low and behold Jungkook walked in.

“What are you laughing about?” Jungkook asked as he tossed himself onto the couch beside you. His eyebrow was raised high, his eyes peeking over your shoulder to get a glance at your phone.

You tilted your device to show him the tweet.

There was no laughter emitting from his mouth and it made you frown. Jungkook pulled away with his arm crossed across his broad chest. “How is that funny?”

You shrugged, locking your phone and placing it on the armrest of the couch. “It’s just you.” You snickered. “Like how can I explain it? There’s literally no way for me to explain this.”

The boy beside you rolled his chocolate eyes. “I’m not sure if I should take that as an insult or a compliment… but I think you’re actually making fun of me.”

“You said it.” You laughed shaking your head. “You’re like Jerry from Parks and Recreation.”

“Uh…” He frowned, his eyebrows raised higher than usual. “How the hell am I like Jerry. Wow, I’m taking great offense to this Y/N.”

You shrugged, “You just are. You’re a walking meme, Jungkook. A twenty-one-year-old college student who makes himself look like a fool without knowing it.” You pulled apart his folded arms and made one arm wrap around your shoulder. “And you’re my boyfriend. So by association, I’m a fool.”

“You said it.” He mocked you. “You’re so annoying, you know that?”

You nodded without shame. “And so are you, by association and because you’re just annoying as it is.”

“You’re really a great girlfriend, you know that?” Jungkook turned to you with his brow raised and a playful frown drawn on his face. You nodded smiling making him roll his eyes. “I love you, fortunately, and unfortunately.”

“I’ll take it!” You giggled before pecking his sweet lips. “Hey, so I was scrolling through twitter earlier and I saw that Jane and Minsoo were wearing matching couple outfits and they looked so freaking cute!”

Jungkook looked at you curiously. “Oh really?” He smiled awkwardly, hoping you weren’t going to ask the very question he has been trying to avoid his lifetime while dating you. “That’s good for them…”

“Hey…” You poked his cheek. “Why can’t we get matching clothes?”

“Uh…” Jungkook broke out into a nervous sweat, his eyes darting away from your curious yet cute ones. “You know…” He shrugged. “I don’t have any money for that right now and we never have time to actually go shopping…” At this point, Jungkook was pulling out excuses from his box of excuses out of his ass. “Plus, Jane and Minsoo have a huge following so they’re probably doing it to please their fans…”

“Sure you do, you’re a youtube gamer Jungkook. That’s where your income comes in and we’re literally going shopping tomorrow, remember? You need to help me come up with our cosplay outfit for AX.” You folded your arm across your perked chest. “Plus, you can please your fans and me at the same time!”

Fuck. He had no choice but to give in and lose HP. Your attack was too strong. “S-sure, I guess we can do that tomorrow, right?” He laughed awkwardly as he faked a smile.

You nodded happily. Behind that sweet happy smile your true form, the evil and persuading Y/N that gets everything she wants.

And that’s how Jungkook found himself wearing matching outfits with you. You wore a white blouse with a light pink pleated school skirt. Jungkook, unfortunately, had to wear light pink pants and a white blouse similar to yours. It was cute, to you, to his fans, and everyone in public. But to Jungkook, it was humiliating and he couldn’t wait to take it off but he had the unfortunate mishaps of having to film that night. Plus, he didn’t want to hurt your feelings and change. He loved you too much to hurt you like that.

So that night, back at Jungkook’s place, you sat off camera playing silently on your phone as Jungkook played whatever game that had him raging on camera. But the moment Jungkook starting screaming words that shouldn’t be repeated at his computer, you took it upon yourself to walk over your distressed boyfriend to calm him down. “You stupid brat, I’m going to [censored]…+”

“Hey Koo, you should drink your glass of water.”

You handed him a cup of water in which he happily chugged instantly. A grateful smile formed his face as he thanked you. “Thank you, babe.”

“No worries.” You kissed his cheek before walking off to the couch you sat at. “Hey, before I leave, I’m going to order you some Chinese. I’m afraid if I don’t feed you now, you won’t remember to eat before going to bed.”

Jungkook turned around in his gaming chair. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”

“Contrary to popular beliefs, you sometimes to forget to even eat when you’re too focused on your gaming.” You shook your head and dangled your phone up in the air. “I’m already dialing them so please refrain from shouting profanities while I’m on the phone.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes playfully and turned his attention back to his computer and camera. “Sorry Kooksters, I’m going to have to cut this video short tonight. My girlfriend is indeed right, I better eat now before I forget. Thank you for watching and don’t forget to subscribe. Also, comment on what you think of our matching outfits! Signing off, Nochu.” Jungkook did his peace sign with a smile before turning off the camera.

“Ending the video shorter?” You asked after hanging up the phone.

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah. I’m kind of lazy to film a whole hour worth of footage tonight. Plus, don’t tell my fans, but I rather spend my time with you right now.” He teased you as he tossed himself beside you.

You shook your head at his cheesy words. “You know,” You began turning to him. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

“I wasn’t even mad.” He pulled you into his arms. “I was frustrated because the game was being dumb.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever. Still hot though.” You laughed kissing his cheek.

“You’re hot.” Jungkook complimented and stuffed his nose into your neck. Slowly, he pecked small kisses on your soft spots. “You know, I love you so much right?” He pulled away, doe eyes burning hearts into your eyes. “I’d do anything for you, my sweet angel.”

You blushed, “I know. I’d do anything for you too, Koo.” You pieced your lips together with his like a puzzle.

“Then stay with me tonight. We can head to classes together in the morning.”

“You know how to win my heart every time.”

“Of course, I’m the bestest boyfriend you’ll ever have.” You pinched his arm. “What? It’s true!”

You pushed him away, and as if on cue, the doorbell rang. “Chinese is here!”

“I fucking love you.” He shouted as he set Netflix up on his flatscreen. You threw him a kiss and a wink. Jungkook couldn’t be any happier with how his life is right now.

AN: yOUtuBern gAmER JunGKoOK PLeASE.

➝ ask box ➝ bts masterlist

[warehouse13pod]

Show Notes 108A Duped - Part 1

Down the rabbit hole we go, Agents!

Here they are! At long, long last—the show notes for 108 “Duped!”

These notes cover 108 “Duped” Part 1.

You can listen to it in this embedded player:

Or on Youtube:

Let’s jump right in! 

Miranda and I started this episode with some fun facts about ourselves. Mine was that I once got a pillow from Sargento that said “Sweet dreams are made of cheese,” because I complimented it online.

First of all, here’s the song it references.

Now, here are the tweets of how it happened. Here’s the Tweet I saw from Warehouse 13 co-creator and legendary TV writer/producer, Jane Espenson and the conversation that followed:

And at this very moment, that pillow is serving as a laptop cushion.

Now, onto the show.

This week’s writer appreciation focused on another writing team, Benjamin Raab and Deric A. Hughes who shared some awesome behind-the-scenes pix with us on twitter! After we released the episode, Ben tweeted at us and told us the crew let Ben and Deric cameo on every episode they wrote/produced. Here’s the pic from “Duped!” They were on the elevator with Pete!

We got that tweet and some good corrections and fun facts from Ben and Deric themselves! What up, dudes‽

Miranda says that we start the episode “en media res” which means “in the middle of things” in Latin. Here’s a link to what it means in terms of narrative storytelling.

Later, we also compared Myka’s dress in the pilot…

…to her dress in Duped.

Great work by the costuming/hair/makeup team on emphasizing all the subtle ways that Myka was Not Normal™

Because we love to give due credit, so, the people responsible are

Costuming: Joanne Hanson

Hair: Susan Exton-Stranks

Makeup: Marie Nardella

We also have a good laugh talking about how Pete miscategorizes Alice in Wonderland as Chick Lit.

Alice in Wonderland is obviously not Chick Lit (although there’s nothing wrong with Chick Lit).

This led us to a brief discussion of how Miranda’s sister trolls her by calling “Doctor Who” Mister Who. That already wasn’t accurate, but now it’s especially inaccurate as The Doctor is a woman! As a side note, I personally would buy a T-Shirt that said “Mister Who” on it just to make a laugh. Anyone else? Anyone?

Next up, Miranda noticed that Pete was wearing a North Canton, Ohio t-shirt and connected the dots that Eddie McClintock himself is from North Canton. Further proof that Eddie and Pete are essentially the same person.

Speaking of Eddie, this is also the episode where we learned that Eddie was voted the 82nd Sexiest Man Alive, according to TVBuddy. Alas, alack, the link to the list is now dead. So I can’t link it. I tried.

Next, we talked about how amazing Eddie is at doing an impersonation of Myka sticking her neck out when she’s mad.

In the Warehouse, an artifactified disco ball plays Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.”

Here’s that song:

When Act II starts we get some really orange lighting that plays right into our color theory. I couldn’t find a picture of that scene and Amazon won’t let me screenshot, but, in general, most cinematography of Myka in this episode is very orange. Here are a couple examples of how orange most things are that involve Alice in this episode:

Then we talked about how weird it was when Myka actually took one of Artie’s pastries.

Actual footage of my face when she took one:

Actual footage of my face when she took SECONDS:

Then we got the introduction of Gary and Jillian Whitman—this week’s red herring bad guys and focus of this week’s dual Actor’s Spotlight, courtesy of Miranda.

Gary was played by Niall Matter.

Miranda recommended watching the TV show he was on called The Best Years.

Jillian (my name-thief) was played by Erica Cerra.

Miranda noticed a subtle Walt Whitman reference and gave the dates of his life and Lewis Carroll’s/Charles Dodgson’s life.

Walt Whitman: 1819 - 1892

Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson: 1832 - 1898

There will be a lot more information about Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson in the show notes for Part 2 of this episode.

Then we talked about how Artie was a tad too aggressive in telling Claudia to “back off!” and how this all reminded us of a scene in The Importance of Being Earnest where two characters grumpily eat cakes. Miranda later specified that it reminded her of the scene where Jack and Algernon eat muffins. Meanwhile, it reminded me of the scene where Gwendolen and Cecily get passive-aggressive over whether tea should be enjoyed with bread and butter or with cake.

Here’s a snippet of the scene Miranda was thinking of:

 Algernon.  If it was my business, I wouldn’t talk about it.  [Begins to eat muffins.]  It is very vulgar to talk about one’s business.  Only people like stock-brokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties.

Jack.  How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out.  You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.

Algernon.  Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner.  The butter would probably get on my cuffs.  One should always eat muffins quite calmly.  It is the only way to eat them.

Jack.  I say it’s perfectly heartless your eating muffins at all, under the circumstances.

Here’s a snippet of the scene I was thinking of:

Cecily.  May I offer you some tea, Miss Fairfax?

Gwendolen.  [With elaborate politeness.]  Thank you.  [Aside.]  Detestable girl!  But I require tea!

Cecily.  [Sweetly.]  Sugar?

Gwendolen.  [Superciliously.]  No, thank you.  Sugar is not fashionable any more. [Cecily looks angrily at her, takes up the tongs and puts four lumps of sugar into the cup.]

Cecily.  [Severely.]  Cake or bread and butter?

Gwendolen.  [In a bored manner.]  Bread and butter, please.  Cake is rarely seen at the best houses nowadays.

Cecily.  [Cuts a very large slice of cake, and puts it on the tray.]  Hand that to Miss Fairfax.

[Merriman does so, and goes out with footman.  Gwendolen drinks the tea and makes a grimace.  Puts down cup at once, reaches out her hand to the bread and butter, looks at it, and finds it is cake.  Rises in indignation.]

Gwendolen.  You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked most distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake.  I am known for the gentleness of my disposition, and the extraordinary sweetness of my nature, but I warn you, Miss Cardew, you may go too far. 

Both of those scenes take place in Act II.

If you read nothing else in these show notes STOP AND WATCH THE FOLLOWING CLIP!

Here’s a clip from an early movie adaptation of The Importance of Being Earnest that features my favorite line delivery of anything ever:

Good luck ever looking at a handbag without thinking of that again.

While we’re on the subject, I played Cecily in the Importance of Being Earnest, so I’m legally obligated to share a couple photos of that as proof:

As a final note on the matter, you can read the entire play from project Gutenberg here (and I recommend that you do, because it’s one of my all-time faves.).

Later, Miranda and I wondered if the infinity tattoo on Myka’s ankle was Joanne Kelly’s or was something Alice did when they got to Vegas. I think someone tweeted at us about this awhile ago. If anyone has that info, I’ll update the show notes with that and credit to the Tweeter.

After that, we discussed Myka’s/Alice’s casual mention of Carson’s Rule of Linear Transfer and her assertion that it means “forced outcomes require tangency.” I posited that this rule is not a mathematic or scientific principle but rather a warehouse-specific rule. The only Carson’s Rule that Miranda and I could find when researching this was an unrelated rule about bandwidth. If you’re super into telecommunications, you can read more about Carson’s Banwidth Rule here.

Backing up a little bit in the episode, we discussed a little bit about the history of disco and disco clubs via exerpts from a written interview with Professor Carol Cooper.

She spoke with us about Studio 54, Vaughn Harper, and the roots of a Studio 54 laying in a black-owned club called Leviticus.

I didn’t mention it in the episode, but that makes the club in Empire (also named Leviticus) a truly nicely named homage to history. Bustle.com did a deep dive on that fact here.

Relatedly, when the disco ball drops earlier in the warehouse, Claudia does her own take on the Saturday Night Fever dance…

…then devastates Artie by incorrectly dating the Disco Era. Find approximate dates and more info here.

Then Miranda compared Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation and Tara Maclay from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

First of all, the episode of Buffy that we referenced was Season 4, Episode 16 “Who Are You?”

Second of all, we made a Buffy reference, so… You know… Take a shot.

Then we talked about Myka’s reaction to Pete referencing a rabbit’s foot as a lucky charm.

That was both a great reference to the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland…

…and a great reference to keychains from the 1990s and early 2000s. For those who don’t understand that reference, I was gonna link to some funny pictures from that era, but googling “rabbit’s foot” actually led me to down a sad path, so… like.. Not gonna share that.

Then we talked about how Pete saying “Kirk out

…was an improvised line that referenced Captain James T. Kirk on Star Trek: The Original Series and the communicators they used as well as to the flip phones from the era just before warehouse 13 premiered.

Then, both Ben Raab and Eddie McClintock explained that the reaction on set to Eddie saying “Kirk out!” looked something like this…

…until the network gave them the all-clear.

Winding things down for this episode, Miranda and I figured out what a Roulette table looked like:

…and appreciated Claudia’s knowledge of CIA laser mics. Turns out, laser microphones are really a thing!

Finally, for this week’s

~HEAVY THEMES~

…we talked about how off-putting Miranda and I found it when Alice (as Myka) drank both on the job and in front of Pete.

Not all people in recovery are triggered when people drink around them, but some are.

Here is an article from American Addiction Centers on how best to support an alcoholic and support their recovery.

If anyone has resources that they find helpful, we’re always happy to add them to these show notes or create a page devoted to resources for things discussed in our Heavy Themes sections. 

And, with that, we are done with Part 1!

 See you next time, Agents.

[sobdasha]

not to discourse, but thinking about Ritsu pronouns again

you know, as you do, because you can't exactly ask a fictional character what they would prefer and whether their creator might have been slightly mistaken/confused by societal pressures. And everyone's got such good arguments for why Ritsu might deep down consider himself truly a he, or herself a woman, or themself a nonbinary who-gives-a-crap, or even some kind of combo. Especially given that in the anime reboot Ritsu isn't a joke this time around and isn’t forced to change clothes.

And also, y'know, being a very cis gal I have no stakes in this game, I have nothing to identify with here, so it's not like I can confidently make a forever headcanon.

Anyway in the back of my mind was lingering that thing people have been saying about how, what Takaya really intended, it's some Japanese cultural thing we lack in The West where men who are perfectly content to identify as men and have no desire to identify as anything else will dress in Women's Clothes to get the benefits of not having to act Manly, Assertive, etc. (or at least that was how I understood it, I didn't save any of these posts and I don't think I stumbled upon the right keywords while googling, though I did find some interesting history on genderless kei that was, belatedly, relevant to my thoughts)

And I was just thinking, you know, it's sad that I was kind of side-eying that explanation for why Ritsu would use he/him because that's actually basically the inversion of my favorite thing?

If you have not noticed by now I am, deep down in my soul, a pure misandrist. I am pretty sure I was born disliking and distrusting men, and they have not done anything since in my several decades of life to not reinforce that. (There are plenty of people I happen to not dislike who also happen to be male, but I definitely hate Men.) The point is, everything is better if it's women.

In fact, men would be better if they were just women.

So my favorite anime/manga characters are the bishounen, soft and pretty and effeminate and get mistaken for women and have ~feelings~ like women and maybe even get voiced by women. I'm so here for Mulan and Monstrous Regiment, where girls dress as boys and join the army, and get all the perks of agency that come with being men, and can flirt with the idea of being men, but really deep down underneath are women the entire time and keep this little genderqueer-but-feminine space in themselves afterwards.

My ideal princess is modeled off Eilonwy (and probably some vague conflation of "the game's called Zelda but involves a hero with a sword adventuring in dungeons") with pretty long hair and pretty lovely dresses and okay how fast can I cut this skirt off and bring me a pair of pants and also I need a sword to hack at people with and if you don't let me be one of the boys I'll shoot you with this bow I'm packing.

I first heard the word "lesbian" in some movie and went and looked it up in the dictionary and I recall that I literally asked myself "how do I feel about this?" and I replied "eh doesn't bother me, in fact actually I'm pretty sure these ladies have the right idea here". Elizabeth Swann in Pirates 3? where she gets upgraded to Pirate King with a really cool outfit with pants and those adorable little mary jane shoes, yes. Girls dressing androgynously as men and then flirting with other women dressing as women, me well aware they are both women: god yes.

Ohhhh remember that time I was looking up songs for Guys and Dolls and came across the Takarazuka Revue performing Luck Be A Lady in gorgeous alto, and also just the concept of the Takarazuka Revue, now was that a formative experience or what. Also thank god for Ogata Megumi.

And remember that time I saw a little bit of Sailor Moon and the immediate and only thing I latched onto was the ~cousins~, because somewhere deep down my little heart must have known they were truly lesbians, and I loved the tragic storyline (god it's such a shame I didn't see any farther into the arc because that would have been even more, wow, I would have eaten that up with a spoon), and they were such a perfect pair of androgynous short hair and boys clothes and motorcycle and presumably smooth alto voice, and feminine longer hair and skirts and pretty poised princess. The best of both worlds.

Most recently I had an awkward realization when I found everyone tweeting Queer Book Lists! and people were saying "you know how you read books about women dressing as men for Plot and you wish they had stayed men at the end well congrats, in these books they do" and I was like "oh. oh. Well that's very good and that's great for the characters and I do want to read this but I. Actually don't want that personally? I just want women? I want all the benefits of women taking on men's roles with none of the actual men?? Oh. I feel like a bit of a jerk now."

Any. Anyway. I might have gotten off topic a little there discussing my exact aesthetic tastes but. The point I'm trying to get at is, I like girls. I like androgyny because it tends to read as feminine to me. I like girls that are very traditionally feminine, and I also like girls that are tomboys, and to me when a girl does boyish things that does not make her less of a girl. In fact, a girl who indulges in something that is more ~masculine~ like swords and climbing trees and liking cars and wearing pants and so on, is actually being a girl as hard as she can be.

Anything a girl does that can be construed as masculine makes her more feminine to me. In fact anything a girl does is basically by nature feminine because it is done by a girl? Like I know I'm a cis girl because of all the girly stereotypes I fulfill, but also because of all the girly stereotypes I defy.

Idk if this is just me, if this is the misandry, if this is some weird cis thing, if this is a product of my childhood of Girl Power, what. But it just, if you stop and thing about it, is really truly sad that guys don't have the same thing. That first of all we don't let guys wear skirts, and second of all if a guy did wear a skirt I would not translate it to "a guy being a guy as hard as he possibly can be." Women get to be ~both~ (though not necessarily without people being jerks about it). Men are only allowed to be one (and that one sucks tbh).

So what I'm saying is that if I think about it logically, I should be perfectly capable of accepting that Ritsu can and should present as feminine as much as possible without it contradicting--and in fact with it reinforcing--that Ritsu considers himself to be a boy. That Ritsu is Ritsuing as hard as possible. In fact this is the headcanon I should probably prefer. And also it's sad that I had to have an actual revelation about this just now????

anyway all Ritsu pronouns are valid so long as they are a product of thoughtful consideration of Ritsu

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 2x11 Chapter Thirty-Three

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) So, the opening flashback has Jane giving Xiomara grief over not having a regular job and not giving up her dream in spite of not being able to offer her daughter proper living conditions. I guess this will be somehow connected with Jane’s motherhood and her dream of becoming a writer? Maybe?

2) As per usual, Rogelio continues to go overboard when trying to help either Xiomara or Jane. In this case, he brought a whole team of stylist, hairdresser, and photographer to get Xiomara’s picture taken. He couldn’t remember the names of each of them, but for some reason, I can’t hold any of this against him. I think it’s because he… tries, you know? He doesn’t do any of this on purpose. And now he’s jumping at the opportunity to babysit Mateo, which, let’s be real, is a show I’d watch the hell out. Jane reluctantly accepts.

3) The duplicitous bitch continues to milk the Solanos tragedies for views. Shocker.

4) Jane is lusting over her professor, and I couldn’t be less invested or more bored.

5) The moron seems to be dating Michael’s partner, whose name I just learned is Susanna. Again, I couldn’t care less.

6) Elena is Rose’s stepmother? So that makes Rose… Rafael’s stepsister? And the moron’s, too? That’s… twisted…

7) Now Jane has blurted her professor’s name in the middle of her smut reading, and I guess she’s considering dating him? And I’m like, why? She’s been going back and forth between Rafael and Michael since episode 1, and it hasn’t worked out with either, so maybe… be single? There’s nothing wrong with that.

8) Xiomara found Rogelio’s mother’s ring in his bedroom and Jane blurted out that Rogelio was going to propose. And while I’m glad Xiomara didn’t freak out and seems to be absolutely happy with the idea of marrying Rogelio, I can’t help but feel she and Jane are making a lot of assumptions here. Yes, he kept the ring, but there haven’t been any indications that he was about to propose in the near future. I don’t know. I think he was going to wait it out a bit, which I completely understand.

9) Okay, Jane and Xiomara came clean immediately. But instead of proposing, he gave it to Jane? Proves my point, though.

10) Weird flex, but okay…

PETRA: You really think you can charm a woman about to get married? RAFAEL: It worked with you.

I liked that the flashback showed that they were both playing each other. It’s a wonder that relationship didn’t last…

11) Yep.

12) The professor is not taking any hints and instead, he wants to get a free tour around Rogelio’s set. Okay, I’m still zero invested in this storyline.

13) “The Trophy Wife”!

14) Oh. This sucks. Now that Xiomara has an actual shot to make her dreams of becoming a singer true, she gets shot down because she’s been prioritizing her family.

15) OMG Rogelio’s tweets as he’s babysitting…

Ten minutes looking for the perfect shoes to compliment my eyes. 👞 😤 🌈

On the phone with my agent, fielding multiple offers. #WhatWillRoDoNext. 🙈 

Exfoliating. #Loofa

Trying on all my fedoras. #HidelnAHat.

I’m 100% convinced he’s tweeting all of this because he can’t disappoint his fans or something like that, but he’s definitely taking great care of his grandson. I’d bet my life on it.

16) See?

He was taking care of Mateo, and he’s even sharing with his grandson that he is, in fact, going to propose to his grandma. But now I’m afraid Mateo is going to swallow the diamond because Jane just called in the middle of him showing it to the baby…

17) Yep. I saw that coming. Jane is going off at him, and it seems unfair. It’s so common for babies to swallow stuff, they just poop it back out, it’s no big deal. And I do feel it’s kind of Jane’s fault? Rogelio wouldn’t have been distracted if she hadn’t called because she was so paranoid that he would mess up. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Besides, Rogelio acted appropriately. He realized immediately what had happened and took his grandson to the doctor. But whose fault was it when you allowed your child to be in the middle of a violent fight between his dad and your ex and he got hurt?

18) At least she apologized the next day, so there’s that.

19) Oh, Petra, the trophy wife thing really did get to her. And honestly, I really like who Rafael and Petra used to be? They truly were a healthy couple.

20) Okay…

Yeah, I think her telenovela life and her romance writing have somehow given her the idea that every man she meets will instantly be into her. I really hope it’s not just her making the fool of herself and then it will turn out that he was really into her, though. Can a male character in this show not be in love with her for once? She’s not all that great.

21) So, Petra came up with a smart solution to secure the wedding and she had to give up a little bit of her pride in order to do so, but kudos for her.

22) I really liked this bit and it reminded of a point I’ve been meaning to make but always forget to…

I think it’s very cool how Jane is a straight-up romance/erotica writer and no one in the show has ever made fun of her because of it? Everyone encourages her and takes her seriously – her family and her mentors, too. And it’s a wonderful message to send because usually romance writers are looked down on and the genre is seen as a joke, so it’s refreshing that here it is presented as a valid, respectable career choice.

23) Oh, Xiomara feels Rogelio is not being supportive, but in reality, he’s just insisting she skips the gig because he was planning to propose…

24) But he skipped the party and went to her gig to show her how much he supports her. Have I told you that he’s my favorite?

25) The moron must have a golden pussy, how do all the girls fall for her? SHE’S A MORON!

26) Okay…

I mean, I can get behind this ship, sort of. Mostly because of Petra. But… wasn’t he like super in love with Jane two days ago?

27) Bless her. She asked him if he was over Jane. Like GTFO dude, how dare you trying to use Petra to make yourself feel better? When she’s pregnant with your child?

28) And this is why Rogelio is my fave…

JANE: And look, Dad, I overreacted, too, and I'm so sorry I yelled at you. ROGELIO: That's not why I was upset. It's just… what if it's true? What if I'm not good with kids? I mean, I want them with your mother. JANE: Dad… ROGELIO: What if I'm terrible at it? I mean, you turned out perfect without me. JANE: Trust me, I wish I had you. And you'll be great, you know? You'll learn as you go. You can't just jump in and expect to know everything. I promise. You'll get there.

And then he goes and kisses the hell out of Xiomara to show her how proud he is of her. How can you not love Rogelio?

29) This is, without a doubt, one of the sweetest proposals I’ve ever seen. And you should trust my judgment since I don’t believe in marriage…

My buddy, Ryan Gosling, said, “The only quality I look for in a woman is that she's Eva Mendes. There's nothing else I'm looking for" At this point I was going to wave to Eva, and then look at you, and tell you that you are what I've been looking for. And I think back to when we first met, when we were 16, and I think that my whole journey up to now has been about finding my way back to you. I haven't had time to have it set. It's a long story. Xiomara Gloriana Villanueva, I want to spend my life with you, and raise kids with you so will you marry me?

And that’s why it’s almost heartbreaking when Xiomara semi-rejects his proposal when she realizes she doesn’t want to have any more kids because she wants to spend the rest of her life doing things for herself. And I say “almost” because this is also a valid life choice, and Rogelio’s also is, and I applaud both of them for being so upfront about what they want.

This show tends to present Jane as the mature, level-headed person who had taken on the role of mother of her mom since a young age but to be quite frank, characterization has always shown otherwise. Jane might have been mature for her age when she was younger, but I feel she’s completely clueless. As she should be. She’s so young!

We were always told, from Jane’s perspective, that Xiomara and Rogelio were immature, sort of suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, never wanting to grow up and be mature, responsible adults. But what I’ve seen so far has proven the contrary? They might be silly and extravagant and prone to tantrums, but they are mature.

They’re probably the only reason I’m still watching this show?

30) I mean, when is Jane going to have sex, for fuck’s sake?

31) Ugh, no, she told her advisor that she needed to get someone else because what had happened was getting in the way of her writing and now he’s asking her out, and I’m here, like, NO. I don’t want this garbage.

32) So Rose’s back.. and she didn’t get a face change…

33) I gotta be honest, so far, Jane’s love life has been the least interesting aspect of this show for me. It’s been a season and a half, and I keep wondering when will it get interesting for me, you know? This is a rom-com, after all, but the rom part has been sorely missing for me, at least. I love Xiomara and Rogelio, mostly because I love Rogelio, but they don’t give me the butterflies I always get with my ships, so… *shrugs*

34) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[ranjxtul]

Migraines || Catherine of Aragon

mkay this is totally a prompt from @freetotakeourcrowningglory (the “i think aragon’s not okay” one) because i was in the mood to write more aragon but had no inspo and then i saw the list of their prompts and got this idea. so, enjoy this sorta short fic written by a sleep deprived me lmao

Catherine of Aragon would never admit it aloud, but her sleep schedule was a mess. She spent hours unable to sleep for various reasons, some of which she could identify others she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she got night terrors like Katherine or Anne did, she just couldn’t sleep for some reason more often than not. Regardless of the reasoning, her sleeping was disastrous. While it wasn’t quite on the level of Parr and her frequent all nighters and consequential caffeine addiction, it wasn’t uncommon to see Aragon sipping on a Red Bull before a two show day, drinking more than a couple cups of coffee in the morning or sneaking in a nap on a busy day.

Another nasty effect of having such a tumultuous sleep schedule was waking up after very few hours of sleep, was the dizzying migraines that caused her to mumble curses in Spanish. She’d shuffle out of bed on those mornings and down a few ibuprofen tablets before heading down for some food. Most days she could take enough ibuprofen that the pounding headache dulled into a sluggish throbbing that she could manage.

She proceeded as normally as she could on those days, and she’d crash the minute she got the chance to sleep it off. Sleeping off her headaches were some of the nights she got the best rest she’d gotten since she’d first been brought back to life. She tended to look at those nights as a small silver lining to massive headaches.

However, as the queens’ lives got busier, and Aragon was physically more exhausted and still getting too little sleep, these migraines got more frequent. Much to her distaste, all too often she’d wake up with a sharp pain shooting through her head. It was one morning that all of this came to a simmer.

The minute the dark headed queen opened her eyes, her world spun and a sharp pain made itself known right behind her eyes. Instead of fighting to get up and get medicine or morning coffee like she normally would’ve, she just wanted to roll back over and go back to sleep. By far, this had been the worst headache she’d had. Normally, she was one of the first up (aside from Jane and occasionally Anna) to drink her coffee, have a few moments of peace, and read whatever daily scripture her bible app recommended. She could begrudgingly thank Boleyn for the idea of downloading that app.

Lying there though, head spinning at a nauseating rate, Catherine couldn’t imagine leaving her bed and being productive. Then again, if this was to be like any other day, she wouldn’t get another chance for peace. If she didn’t get up then, she’d most likely be thrust straight into the chaos of the day later on when she did decide to get up. Still, against her better judgement, that’s exactly what she did.

As the other queens started to wake up and conduct their morning routines, they noticed the Spanish queen’s absence.

“Is Aragon not up yet?” Anne asked walking out of the bathroom with a robe on and towel around her hair. “Normally she would have told me I was taking too long in the shower by now.”

Cleves, who’d been waiting to shower next huffed, “No, she’s still asleep I think, but you didn't need her to tell you that. I’ll do it. Katherine’s using the other shower and you took twenty bloody minutes. I probably won’t have any hot water left.”

Anne shrugged, an impish grin on her face, “Sorry. I had to relish not being told to hurry up.” Anna only rolled her eyes in response before entering the bathroom to take her own (lukewarm) shower.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen Parr had finally dragged herself down the stairs for a cup of coffee. “Morning, love,” Jane smiled from her place at the kitchen island.

“Mornin,” a still bleary eyed, bedheaded Parr replied. When she glanced at the coffee pot, she furrowed her brow, “Did Catherine Anna not make coffee this morning?” she asked noting how clean and unused it was.

“Anna drank tea this morning, and as for Catherine she hasn’t been downstairs,” Jane explained with a shrug.

Catherine tilted her head, looking a bit more alert, “Catherine hasn’t been downstairs? Normally she’s the first awake,” Parr asserted wondering if her godmother had forgotten to set an alarm.

“Afraid not, but if she’s still sleeping we ought to let her. She’s been looking tired, and we don’t have a matinee today-” Jane said shaking her head, but she was cut off by Katherine hurrying into the kitchen.

“I think Aragon’s not okay,” she announced, anxiety written all over her face.

Jane’s brows shot up at this proclamation, “What makes you say that?”

“Well Anna got in a fix because she’d run out of her conditioner, so she went to ask Aragon if she could borrow hers and she was still asleep, like deep asleep.”

“I’m sure there’s no reason to worry about that Kat,” Parr chimed in before Jane, “sometimes people just need to sleep late sometimes,” she continued.

The brunette crossed her arms, “But Aragon never sleeps late, ever. I know I could be overreacting, but it’s such an abnormal thing for her. What if she’s sick?”

Jane frowned, “If she is then we’ll worry about it then, and I’ll check on her soon so we have some answers. I’m sure she’s fine.” It hadn’t occurred to Jane that Catherine could be sick. After all, the queens were incredibly busy and that could run somebody down quite a bit if they weren’t careful.

Katherine nodded with uncertainty, “Okay, mum.” Arguing the subject wouldn’t be conducive to progress. Until one of them actually spoke to Aragon nobody knew if she was sick or just sleeping in. “Want to watch TV with me or something?” Katherine asked after a moment of silence.

Jane nodded, “Sure, why don’t we watch some more of Killing Eve?” She knew that Katherine would still worry about Aragon if she didn’t occupy herself. The girl nodded with a small smile before she headed toward the living room, Jane not far behind her.

Parr sat in the now empty kitchen with her cup of coffee, orange and cereal. For once she’d gotten a decent amount of sleep, crashing after pulling a few all nighters in a row. At least she had most of the day off and could work until they left for the theatre. The seldom quiet in the kitchen in that moment was welcome, but soon broken by Anne making her way downstairs. “Morning, Cathy,” she greeted as she began rummaging around in the pantry before emerging with a protein bar.

“Morning, and you realize we aren’t in a hurry? You could eat actual breakfast,” Parr teased nodding toward the protein bar Anne was now unwrapping.

The wild brunette shrugged, taking a seat across from Catherine at the table, “Meh. It’s just easier to eat one of these sometimes.”

Parr shrugged in return, “Suit yourself.” The pair fell into a comfortable rhythm of Parr finishing her breakfast while Anne munched on hers and scrolled through social media, occasionally leaning over to show Parr a meme or some sort of tweet or picture about the show.

Once the curly headed queen had finished her breakfast she stood up, “I’m going to check on Aragon,” she announced. Catherine put her empty bowl in the sink and her orange peel in the trash, hearing Anne mumble some sort of affirmation, her eyes glued to some video.

On the way up, Catherine passed Cleves heading down. The German gave her a friendly nod and a customary good morning which she happily returned. Upon reaching the eldest queen’s room, she knocked first. Receiving no response after several minutes, Parr pushed the door open to find that Aragon was still indeed asleep.

She should have just let the woman be and slipped back out quietly, but a certain sense of curiosity got the better of her. Katherine had been right in saying it was odd for Aragon to sleep in, especially until nearly eleven in the morning, she noted glancing at the digital clock on the bedside table.

Parr gently shook Aragon and soon enough, a disgruntled pair of brown eyes stared up at her. “Hm?” Aragon asked squinting. It was safe to say, more sleep hadn’t helped her fend off the headache.

“We were all just wondering if you were okay since you’ve slept in so late,” Parr informed taking in the sight before her. Katherine could have been right, Aragon didn’t look well. She looked like she just wanted to lay in bed and sleep.

“M’ good,” Catherine mumbled halfway sitting up, only to stop moving when the room started to spin. Once everything was steady again, she pushed herself all the way up quickly so her body wouldn’t have time to protest. Bad idea. The dizziness seemed to increase tenfold. “Mierda,” she hissed squeezing her eyes shut until the room stopped spinning.

A very concerned Parr became more concerned when she heard Catherine curse in Spanish. She also didn’t not notice how Aragon had flinched at sitting up. “I don’t think you’re okay,” Parr insisted quietly. “What’s up? And please don’t lie before you say nothing,” she added covering all of her bases. She knew the stubborn queen wouldn’t want to admit feeling down unless she was really ill.

Catherine shot her a look that in any other state would have been one of exasperation, but in her muddled, migraine-y state only looked like a visage of her normal expression. Parr held the gaze for a moment before the Spanish queen let out an imperceptible sigh, “I have a headache,” she downplayed the severity of it.

Parr tilted her head appraisingly, “Are you dizzy?” Aragon didn’t answer and Parr took that as a yes. “You get these sometimes don’t you? You don’t think we notice you taking extra Advil or bracing yourself on something, but we do.”

“Yeah,” Aragon finally verbally admitting, accepting defeat. She was feeling too bad to fight it.

“You know these are more than just headaches? They’re migraines,” Catherine continued.

“Yeah,” Aragon answered again with a sigh.

“You really should rest today. We can call Grace and let her cover your part, especially if you’re feeling like this. You need to take care of yourself.”

Feeling unable to argue, Aragon just lay back down, “If you’re going to make me rest, can you at least grab me some medicine from over there?” She glanced toward the bottle of ibuprofen on her dresser.

“Yeah of course,” the curly headed queen nodded, She moved to get two of the tablets from the bottle. Next she scanned Aragon’s room to see if she had any bottles of water laying around. Thankfully, a half empty one sat on the edge of the bedside table. She really must have been feeling bad if Parr had won this battle with little objection.

She handed both the water and the pills to Catherine who’d propped herself up on elbow to down the medicine. “I’m staying,” Parr declared moving to sit on the other side of the bed.

“Why?” Aragon mumbled already having closed her eyes again.

“Because you feel this bad, and if I felt this bad I’m not sure I’d want to be alone,” Parr shrugged deciding to make herself comfortable upon not receiving any objection from Catherine.

Aragon felt a rush of affection for her goddaughter as she lay there, already beginning to slip into unconsciousness once more. “Thank you,” she mumbled out blindly reaching a hand over to search for Parr’s knee or arm to give a quick squeeze to. She finally found Parr’s wrist and gave it a short squeeze before she returned it to its previous position.

“No problem,” sounded Parr’s voice in a soft tone, “but all things considered, you really should see a doctor if this doesn’t get better. We need you at your best,” she continued.

“Now you sound like Jane,” Aragon grumbled as she drifted off to sleep once more.

[grimelords]

My May playlist is finished and it’s got everything from Rachmaninoff to Peaches across 3 and a half hours, I hope you enjoy it.

If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead - James Blake: James Blake has got such a big brain and this song is unbelievable. He has such a way of taking things that could be gimmicky like this vocal stuttering, or looping vocals and making them totally heartrending.

The Boxer - The Chemical Brothers: The central melody of this song is constantly stuck in my head and complete proof that you can make an incredibly catchy hook with just three notes if you need to.

known(1) - Autechre: I think this is maybe Autechre's most straightforward song but it still sounds like a harpsichord concerto getting sucked into a black hole. The way the violin-ish part swoops around throughout the whole thing, disintegrating and reforming before your eyes is hypnotising.

Sundown - Boards Of Canada: Guess who started crying this month listening to an ambient Boards Of Canada song thinking about how the end of soil is within my lifetime and we have destroyed our only home the earth!!

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys: With their new album coming out I went back and listened to AM for the first time in a while and it's still really astonishing what they pulled off. This and R U Mine? completely blew me away when they came out. Having the audacity to completely change your sound and style and have it work perfectly is amazing, and then disappearing for five years and trying to do it again? Bold.

FML - Kanye West: I was listening to this a lot when Kanye was off his lexapro and fucking his whole life up. And now there's a sequel to this on the new album where Kim's begging him not to fuck the money up, which I think is a very good kind of storytelling.

United P92 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I love the idea of ambient Venetian Snares and this is the song on the album where their two ideas meet in the middle the best I think. Also the way this builds and builds into total chaos I always forget that it's coming and get surprised when it says 'the machine can cum', what a funny song.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: I saw Autolux's drummer in Jack White's band when he played on SNL a couple of weeks ago and suddenly remembered how perfect this song is. A true testament to the power of a simple groove that sounds like it was recorded in a concrete garage.

Young For Eternity - The Subways: Yet another great song about being a vampire and all the benefits that vampirism can bring to your life! Thank god for Dracula! He sucked the shit out of me, now I can leave my work for nights and leave my days for sleeping! Young for eternity!

Oh Yeah - The Subways: I bought a 7" of this song a couple of weeks ago in honour of the time it inexplicably caused me a mental breakdown and made me sprint out of my house to drive around town crying and listening to it on repeat for some hours about 5 years ago. Not sure what that was about!

The Blues - Defeater: As far as songs that go for less than a minute go, I really can't fault this one. Pure power, it does absolutely everything it sets out to do and still manages to get two choruses in under the wire.

Bombay - El Guincho: I saw Holy Mountain this month in a double feature with El Topo, and although El Topo kind of sucked I loved The Holy Mountain a lot. There's a part where there's been a battle and a whole lot of protesters are dying on the ground bleeding, except you can see that the blood and guts are obviously special effects, you can see the hose that she's using to pretend to cry and the guts are green balloons and things like that. Hold on I found it on youtube anyway I know I've seen it before and I thought it was in the video to this song or another one of CANADA's videos but I watched them all and can't find it! If anyone can tell me the music video I'm thinking of, thankyou. This song is also, of course, good.

Swim Good - Frank Ocean: Honestly has there ever been a better song about wearing a cool suit and driving your car into the ocean?? Never. This is perhaps the best sing along song ever because you've got to do your smoothest voice ever until he does his little emo yells of 'I'm goin out!' near the end.

Batphone - Arctic Monkeys: I think this is my favourite song off the new Arctive Monkeys, it's the most '3am slamming away at a club piano' type vibe of them all, but most of all I love the little spiralling into space guitar noise that keeps happening whenever he finishes a line.

An Open Letter To NYC - Beastie Boys: I'm almost always thinking about the time Beastie Boys made a very serious song about how good New York is after 9/11 and they said 'dear New York I know a lot has changed, we're two towers down but we're still in the game'.

Black Car - Beach House: I can't get enough of the new Beach House album, and this song in particular. It's some of my favourite lyrics of theirs ever, a good song for when you're trapped in a dark labyrinth of your own creation.

Midnight Radio 1 - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Got quite heavily into Bohren & Der Club Of Gore again this month. This is from the album before they got rid of their guitarist and replaced him with a saxophonist, which pretty dramatically changed their sound from 'extremely brooding night music' to 'film noir soundtrack', which is still very good but really not the same. Anyway this song goes for 20 minutes and it feels illegal to listen to it any time before 2am.

House In LA - Jungle: I am so excited that Jungle are finally back and with such an amazing song too. I love how spacious this is, it feels very different to their first - a lot more grown up and I really can't wait for the album.

Lemonworld - The National: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'the guy from the national sounds like he's been going through a divorce for ten years now' which is very true, but this song feels like it's from happier times when he went to see his sister in law and had an morosely horny time. This song feels like the entire experience of reading a literary novel condensed into 4 minutes: a depressed older man in New York having a sort of backwards, confusing sexual thought. This is a song I regularly listen to on repeat and sing along to, it's a very specific feeling and I think "it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me" is one of the best lines he's ever written.

Rigamortis - Zomby: I put off listening to the new Zomby album for so long because his last one was just so boring but he's completely redeemed himself on this, it's really something. It feels like one long piece, which is amazing when any sort of thematic coherence is a rarity for Zomby albums. There's a lot of recurring sounds and motifs, and almost zero drums in the traditional sense. It feels like a really mature reflection on grime that he's been building up to for years.

Indoors - Burial: Whereas this song sounds like you're waiting outside a club in hell.

Segeln Ohne Wind - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Another Bohren song but from much, much later. I love the way the brass sounds in this when it finally comes in, it's so rich and overpowering.

Isle Of The Dead - Segei Rachmaninoff: Wikipedia says "The piece was inspired by a black and white reproduction of Arnold Böcklin's painting, Isle of the Dead, which Rachmaninoff saw in Paris in 1907. Rachmaninoff was disappointed by the original painting when he later saw it, saying, "If I had seen first the original, I, probably, would have not written my Isle of the Dead. I like it in black and white." and it also says "Prints were very popular in central Europe in the early 20th century—Vladimir Nabokov observed in his novel Despair that they could be "found in every Berlin home". Folks what is going on with this spooky painting.

Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction: For a long time this was the emergency dead air song on Triple J, which is an inspired choice in my opinion because there'd be ten seconds of eerie silence because something's gone wrong at the station and then suddenly two huge loud chords! and dogs barking! A BEEN CAUGHT STEEL IN! ONCE!

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel: I was sitting on the toilet when I saw a news article that said Peter Gabriel has finally made his music available on Spotify and I said 'yessssssss' loudly myself and then played Sledgehammer. Honorable mention to the best ever sample of this song in Contemporary Man by Action Bronson, which is unfortunately still unavailable on Spotify.

Reaching The Gulf - Dylan Carlson: I saw a review of this album saying Dylan Carlson is the only choice for soundtrack if they ver make a movie of Blood Meridian and they're completely right. I'm also so glad that he collaborated with Emma Ruth Rundle on this, it feels like the closest I'll get to bonus tracks to her Electric Guitar One album.

T-1000 - Swarms: I have no idea where or why I first heard this album but it's been in my rotation for a long time. It's in the general canon of post-Burial dubstep before dubstep got americanized and it's just very nice. When the vocals finally come in on this it's a very emotional moment for me.

Casino Trem - Tyondai Braxton: It's really surprising listening to Tyondai Braxton's work after Battles because he has such a distinct melodic style it's shocking to realise how much he brought to that first album. After listening to a lot of his solo stuff it becomes so recognisable it almost feels like you can go back through Mirroroed and pick out every single guitar line of his making. Anyway this song is great. Starts out sounding like what it feels like to be trapped in a pokie and ends up like you're trapped in a databent Banjo Kazooie cartridge.

Kick It - Peaches & Iggy Pop: The first time I ever heard this song, and the first time I ever heard of Peaches or Iggy Pop was on the soundtrack to Midnight Club 3 so I didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I still don't really. I love that this is supposed to be like a dangerous sexy song but the whole time Iggy Pop is just rebuffing her advances and bullying her. Then she's like 'go to berlin' and then the song ends. Still not sure what this one's about still!

If You Know You Know - Pusha T: GOD this song is good, I've been listening to it on repeat. What I love about Pusha T is where a lot of other rappers talk sort of frivolously about drug dealing and everything, he often feels like he's putting his hand on your shoulder and looking you straight in the eyes saying 'I am not fucking around. If you need drugs of any calibre or kind I can get them for you in massive quantities.' The impish way he's saying 'if you know you know', absolutely kills me, like he's a cartoon man winking at me while hiding drugs inside a tennis ball.

Hacker - Death Grips: I think I put this on my playlist last month but I'm still on it so. My new favourite part of this song is when he says "The table's flipped now we got all the coconuts bitch / Burmese babies under each arm / Screaming beautiful songs".

Cavity - Hundred Waters: Hundred Waters feel like a really underrated band to me, I've been listening to their last two album a lot this month and they're just stunning. The long build up towards the end before the two note melody comes back and kills me? What a moment.

Music For The Long Emergency - Polica: I didn't love this album when it came out but I've been listening to it more and more and it's really growing on me. I think I put this song on a playlist a month or two ago so I won't write more but let me say this: Polica rules.

On The Grid - Lime: tfw you turn the knob and you do a good job and you wind up on the grid :/

Elephants - Them Crooked Vultures: I feel like Them Crooked Vultures gets forgotten when people talk about Queens Of The Stone Age albums. People bring up Desert Sessions and Kyuss but somehow forget that this giant album happened. Anyway this is far and away the best song on it because it just keeps on giving and giving. It's just a huge jam about riding an elephant and having cool hair(?).

Particle - Hundred Waters: This song feels like it could be the EDM hit of the summer if it was structured slightly differently, but instead it's the biggest brain pop song I've heard in a long time. I love how much power the bass has in this, it really feels impactful when it comes and goes. The vocal performance is obviously incredible as always but I really love the distorted vocal line that sort of tears itself apart now and then, against how clean everything else in this song sounds it really makes it.

Me Or Us - Young Thug: Thinking hard about when Young Thug sampled First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes and made it into a really really good song.

Because I Love You - Montaigne: God this song is good. All the time the lyric 'I ate a salad today, I ate one yesterday too' pops into my head and makes me laugh. She tweeted about this song a couple of days ago and it really made me laugh: "My ex-boyfriend & I once watched BBC Sherlock & during the ep he paused & basically soliloquised about how he’s a tortured genius just like Sherlock & I’m his Watson in as condescending a way as you’re probably imagining then poured a shot of whiskey & now you know the story"​

listen here

[danyka-fendyr]

Scar Tissue Chapter 2: Dynamic Du-OH- A Sudden Realization

A/N: I’m posting this without editing because I hate myself. I will eventually come back and fix my many sins. Tagging @writingtheworks the works again. Do I think that Bruce Wayne invites his butler to family dinners? Yes, yes I do, and Gotham’s snooty societal standards can’t stop me or him. Take that you elitists. Rorie was exhausted. You really couldn’t blame her. She’d been listening to Jason monologue Romeo and Juliet repeatedly for about an hour now. She loved her best friend, but she was ready to stab Shakespeare. She understood this was his masterpiece, but did he have to do this to her?

“Jay, I promise you, you will get the part. The first 5 times, heck, the first 10 times, this was the most beautiful performance I had ever seen in my life,” I told him.

Jason broke character, collapsing out of a dramatic pose, arm extended, head held up, looking to an imaginary balcony.

“You cried the first time,” he said, grinning.

Rorie had never seen someone so pleased over her tears. ...Well, okay, that wasn’t necessarily completely true, but she’d fought the Joker, alright? He was pretty sick, and not in the good way.

“Yes, because it was amazing. We’ve been over this. You are amazing,” she said.

Jason blushed under the praise, his neck, cheeks and ears tinting pink. When Jason blushed, he blushed with his whole head. It was sort of cute. Or at least, Rorie assumed it would be cute if you were like, into that kind of stuff. Rorie, of course, was not.

“Anyway, you should try to get some sleep. We have patrol tonight. Plus, you wouldn’t want to look burned out for your audition. It’s no good having a Romeo who looks sleep deprived,” Rorie tried to reason with him.

“What if he’s sleep deprived because he’s been up all night thinking about his Juliet, and how she refuses to audition, despite Alfred’s best efforts,” Jason teased.

“And you. Don’t forget you,” Rorie sighed. 

Alfred and Jason hadn’t gotten off her back about this since they first started holding auditions for Romeo and Juliet. Rorie refused on the principle that the characters made a long series of stupid decisions ending in a tragedy that could have been completely avoidable. Jason had countered with the fact that he had caught her reading it out loud, rather passionately, mind you, when they had been assigned the story for English class. It wasn’t Rorie’s fault that the story was still emotionally compelling, despite entirely lacking logic. Juliet admittedly had some pretty lines.

“This is too cliché. Why couldn’t the school play be something prettier, like Wuthering Heights?” Rorie objected.

“Your obsession with Wuthering Heights will never end, will it?” Jason asked.

“The writing is beautiful Jason!” Rorie cried, more passionate even then when she was playing the part of Juliet.

“Maybe if you get the lead role this year they’ll choose it next year. You could get friendly with the Mrs. Dowly, convince her it would be a good idea.” Jason carefully dangled the carrot in front of his prey’s face.

There was a pregnant pause while Rorie considered.

“You really think so?” she questioned, shooting him an uncertain, slightly untrusting look.

Jason nodded, his enthusiasm making the gesture comical so that he resembled a bobble-head. “Absolutely! Mrs. Dowly always considers how her leads feel.” 

Jason would know. He was the theater teacher’s pet, and had been the lead many, many times. All the other theater nerds were jealous of him, if they didn’t absolutely hero worship him (something Rorie found ironically humorous, considering their nightlife).

Rorie sighed, the sound deeply resigned. In contrast, Jason whooped.

“I will only be auditioning,” she warned him.

“Absolutely,” Jason said.

“You will in no way try to convince Mrs. Dowly to show me any kind of special favor.”

“Of course not.” More bobble-headedness, this time a vigorous shake, like he was a wet dog.

“If I do, by some miracle, get the part, you will not gloat, tell me you knew it, or anything of the sort.”

At this, Jason pouted. Rorie glared.

“Can’t I be proud?” He gave her the puppy dog eyes.

He gave her the puppy dog eyes. Jason knew she couldn’t resist the puppy dog eyes.

“Fine. A little pride. But none while we’re in school!” Rorie caved.

“Yay!” Jason chirped, wrapping his arms around her, trapping hers by her side.

Rorie pouted, and Jason celebrated. It was at this moment that Bruce walked in, Alfred following closely behind with a curious expression on his face.

“What’s going on here?” There was a tone of deep, rich amusement to Bruce’s voice, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards in what was usually about as close as he came to a smile (unless he was playing the role of ‘Brucie Wayne’).

“Rorie’s going to audition for the school play!” Jason cheered.

“With conditions!” Rorie added, seeing the look of excited shock on Alfred’s face and the knowing approval on Bruce’s.

“Well, miss, I suppose we’ll have to get you in shape!” Alfred declared.

“Oh no.”

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet.”

“Wonderful, miss! The way you sigh it out is beautiful. Very wistful. Now if you could just make it a little bit less breathy,” Alfred instructed.

Rorie puffed a sigh, and Jason tried not to laugh at her. She looked frustrated. Not as frustrated as she could be, since she wasn’t doing math, but her hair was messy and her posture slumped, face red from trying to hold back an oncoming temper tantrum. Alfred had this tendency to sometimes work out the details a little too much when it came to Shakespeare, or really any kind of play or production. He was a man of the theater indeed. 

Jason decided Rorie might need a rescue.

“Maybe I could work with her for a bit Alfred. You could take a break, maybe make some snacks?” he suggested, knowing Alfred would never leave drama without a specific task and purpose.

“Cookies?” Rorie asked, a forlorn hope swimming in her eyes.

“Ah! Of course! You lot do look as though you could use something to munch on. It will raise the spirits!” Alfred clapped his hands, looking as invigorated as he always did when he was allowed within range of fine art. “I’ll prepare some fruit, and perhaps some cookies if I feel it is warranted.”

By that Jason was pretty sure Alfred meant that Rorie ate too many cookies and that she was going to get cavities. He was trying to be nice right now though, since it was obvious that Rorie was seriously considering dropping out of the school play.When she got the part, the entire household had been elated. Well, Jason and Alfred had been elated, and Bruce had been smugly pleased. Emphasis on smug. That was his adopted daughter, after all.Jason was pretty sure that if ‘Brucie Wayne’ wasn’t supposed to be keeping up his eligible bachelor status, Bruce would have posted his pride all over ever social media platform he knew how to work. Jason’s phone pinged, and he checked his notifications.

Scratch that. Bruce wasn’t able to keep it in anymore now that he had not one, but two children in theater. He had just made the dorkiest post Jason had ever seen in his life on Twitter. 

“So proud of @jtodd and @roreo for scoring roles in the school play! I look forward to seeing them play Romeo and Juliet, respectively. If you have the time, come down to @gothamacademy and watch. #Illbesittingfrontrow”

Jason hoped none of the other kids at school saw that. Jason knew every one of the other kids at school had seen that, even the ones who weren’t theater geeks. Jason was pretty sure any kind of a reputation he had was gone now.

“Oh no,” Rorie groaned.

“Oh no what, Miss?” Alfred said, poking his head into the room at the first sound of oncoming disaster.

Rorie extended her phone to him, letting him see the tweet Jason himself had just been looking at.

“All the kids at school will see this, Alfred! We’re done for.” Rorie exchanged a look of horror with Jason.

Alfred looked thoughtful.“We shall see, miss.”

And see they did. 

Arriving at school the next day, Rorie did her utmost to go incognito. Sunglasses and a dark hoodie obscured her figure, and she kept her head bowed as she walked through the halls. Jason didn’t bother with this. His strategy was to not show any kind of weakness.

He strutted down the halls, trying to appear more confident than ever before, his hair slicked back with gel he had stolen from Bruce a while back and his favorite leather jacket on. He would have been wearing sunglasses, but Rorie stole his coolest pair.

As it turned out, Jason’s strategy worked better, unfortunately for Rorie. Some of the boys tried to pick on him, it was true, but he just ignored them. If you looked closely enough, you might be able to see that he was riled up, but only if you knew him well. He kept his anger close and in check. He could always exact revenge later if he still thought they were worth it.

Rorie was taunted mercilessly though, since she reacted a little volatiley to the whole thing. The second someone had insinuated that her rich daddy bought her spot, she was spitting words that were dangerously close to obscenities, a seething pot ready to boil over. Jason had swept in several times that day to save her when it looked like she might not be able to control herself. In thanks, she gave him his sunglasses back.

Now, Rorie was sitting in the library, the only place where people would leave her alone, it seemed. She was reading through Jane Eyre again, trying to distract herself from the snake’s nest of anxiety, self-doubt, and bitter, petty rage boiling in her head. It wasn’t working that well.

It worked less well when Amanda Bixby sat next to her. Rorie didn’t dislike Amanda particularly, but she also didn’t particularly like her. Amanda was...Well, Amanda was a bit of an airhead. She didn’t mean to be, but she just happened to be that one girl that never thought about anything but makeup and boys. There was nothing particularly wrong with this mindset, but it simply didn’t mesh with Rorie’s more practical attitude. 

“So, Jason’s like, your brother, right?” Amanda said, her tone friendly yet suspiciously slimy sounding to Rorie.

“Yeah, I guess. More of a best friend, really.” Rorie shrugged.

“But you’re super close, yeah?” Amanda confirmed.

“Well yeah. We live in the same house.” Rorie didn’t feel it necessary to mention that they had shared a bathroom until last year when she had demanded Bruce let her have her own. 

Rorie was prepared for a plethora of things. Amanda was into theater, so it was entirely possible that she was hoping Rorie would be able to share some of Jason’s acting secrets with her. Or, it could be that she needed help with her English homework, something Jason also excelled in. As it turned out, Rorie was woefully unprepared for what actually happened.

“So what kind of girl does he usually go for?” Amanda asked.

Rorie choked a little bit. “What?”

“Like, does he have a type?” She twirled a strand of long brown hair around her finger.

“Umm….I don’t really know. He doesn’t talk to me about girls,” Rorie said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

“Yeah, but I mean, you’ve got to know something about his girlfriends. Are they tall? Short? Blondes, brunettes? C’mon, gimme something here,” Amanda said.

In truth, Rorie was unsure that Jason had ever even had a girlfriend. He was only 15 after all. 15 was a bit young for a girlfriend, wasn’t it? Rorie felt like 15 was young.

“Why do you ask? I mean, it’s not like Jason’s particularly attractive or anything.” Rorie laughed nervously.

“Are you kidding me? He’s a total dreamboat. All the girls know it. Plus, have you ever seen his arms when he takes off that leather jacket?” Amanda bit her lip in a way that Rorie definitely did not like. “I bet he’s ripped. Not to mention that he’s tall. And he’s only going to get taller you know.”

Amanda was clearly not in the building anymore. Her eyes had glazed over dreamily, and Rorie took that as her cue to be anywhere but where she presently was. Sneakily, she made her escape, mumbling under her breath about some urgent play preparation she had to do.

Rorie raced out of the library so fast it was almost superhuman, forgetting to put her sunglasses back on as she went. They were perched on top of her head when she crashed into someone, causing them to clatter to the floor, and her to nearly follow. Fortunately for her, someone had good reflexes and caught her, a warm, firm hand holding her back and pressing her against a lean, muscular torso.

“I am so sorry, you have no idea how mortified I am, rea-” Rorie stopped short when she realized that the person who was holding her was rather familiar.

She pulled back, peering into their face to find none other than Jason Todd himself. Rorie wanted to say “speak of the devil,” but she was a bit distracted at the moment, because at it turned out, it would seem that Amanda Bixby was right. Jason Todd was a dreamboat.Rorie was unsure how she hadn’t noticed it before. It wasn’t like anything had significantly changed between now and an hour again, when Rorie had last seen Jason. However, now that it had been mentioned to her, he had very nice, well-defined cheekbones, a strong jaw, incredibly long black lashes, and the prettiest pair of blue eyes Rorie had ever seen in her life. She swallowed heavily as she realized that, prior to knowing who was holding her up, she had been appreciating their toned body structure as well.

“Careful there, Rorie. You’ll get hurt.” Jason smiled at her, revealing a blinding white set of perfectly straight teeth that seemed intent on sinking themselves into Rorie’s heart.

Oh no. Oh no.

Opening night had finally come, and Jason was bouncing around with excitement. He had no reason to worry. He had done this dozens of times before, and he had every confidence in his leading lady.

He was watching her right now, mumbling her lines under her breath and coughing as hairspray was applied rigorously to her carefully created Shakespearean hair. 

“Oh, Romeo, oh Romeo,” Rorie said, rocking back and forth slightly, to the deep consternation of the girl working on her hair.

“Actually,” Jason said, watching himself appear in the mirror behind her, already in full costume, hair done, “it’s ‘Oh Romeo, Romeo’.”

“I’m gonna fail. I’m gonna fail in front of everyone, and they’ll all laugh, and this will be the end of my acting career, and I’ll have to switch schools.” Her eyes, previously closed, snapped open. “I’ll have to switch schools Jason. I’ll have to go to a boarding school in Scandinavia where nobody knows my name.”

“You’ll be fine,” Jason reassured her, placing both his hands on her shoulders and shooing the irate amateur hairdresser off.

“But what if I’m not?” Rorie asked desperately.

“Then I’ll fail even more epically. I’ll say lines from Napoleon Dynamite instead, and then I’ll trip and fall on my face, and then I’ll roll over and start making snow angels, except there will be no snow, at which point I will have made my first mistake as it is obvious that one cannot make snow angels without no snow.”

“That is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Rorie dead-panned.

“See! It works!” Jason grinned broadly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Rorie, on her part, tried to look slightly less miserable.

“You’re on in 5,” someone informed him as they passed by.

Rorie gave him an unsure look, seeking a few last moments of reassurance.

Jason walked around until he was facing her, crouching so he could look her right in the eye. “You’re gonna be great, don’t worry.”

He smoothed down a few stray pieces of her hair, giving her one last strong, certain smile before heading to the wings. It was showtime.

Acts 1-4 went flawlessly. Despite her nerves, Rorie was a natural on stage. She sounded like Shakespeare had written her himself, and Jason was matching her ever move. They were a perfect pair, naturally, and they had the kind of trust most lead actors could probably only wish for. This came as a package deal with the many shared near-death experiences.

It was Act 5 where things began to get sticky. Specifically, the death scene. Everything had been going fun. They had rehearsed this scene in bits and pieces plenty of times before, and everything was timed perfectly. The grief they portrayed was stunningly believable, the laboured breaths and the hasty tears working together to paint a picture of gut-wrenching agony. Jason had caught a glimpse of Dick crying in the audience.

Specifically, it was Act 5, scene 3, line 125 that was giving Jason a good deal of trouble. He had said all the lines leading up to it, and now he found himself agonizingly close to a “dead” Rorie with the task of kissing her.

He had known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he would have to kiss her for this performance. Maybe some tiny part of him had even looked forward to it, entirely without his knowledge or consent. They hadn’t practiced this particular scene, however, and Jason had conveniently forgotten about it until now. Or rather, he had been making a conscious effort not to think about it at all.

He hovered over her, his mouth inches away from hers. She was so warm underneath him, hair splayed out and hands neatly folded over her stomach, eyes lightly shut. Jason tried to steady his heart rate, failing miserably, and after running through a plethora of alternative scenarios in his mind, each more wild than the last, he determined that he would just have to do it. If she hated him afterwards, there was nothing he could do about it.

Gently, he connected their lips. It was like a revival. Her lips were soft and warm against his, and she tasted like oranges and cinnamon. Her body, almost unconsciously, craned into him, kissing back so softly and subtly that the audience couldn’t have noticed, but Jason most definitely did. Without thinking, one hand reached into her hair, cradling her head as he kissed her like Romeo would kiss Juliet, like a man would kiss his lover with his last dying breath, slightly clumsy, but intimate and gentle, with a fervor Mrs. Dowly had probably not foreseen.

He broke away, rushing through his poison scene and dying as quickly as possible. It felt fitting, since he was pretty sure he was already dead. Then, it was Rorie’s turn. What she did next was not entirely expected.

She worked her way through her lines with an untold urgency, weeping at the sight of her Romeo lying dead below her. Her performance was like nothing Gotham Academy had ever seen before, as emotionally charged as it was. And then, he broke from script. She kissed Jason.

It was similar to the first time, but less clumsy, and Jason nearly broke character out of sheer shock. He didn’t have the time though, with the brevity of the kiss. It was hard and fast, and then she stabbing herself with a fake knife as ripples of surprise waved through the audience.

The last few scenes were played out, and everyone took their final bows. Jason could see Dick sobbing at this point, overcome by emotion. Jason felt similarly overcome, unsure of what exactly had just happened. He rushed his way backstage, finding Rorie in the mess that was the closing of opening night. He grabbed her arm, whirling her around.

“Rorie,” he breathed out her name, still stunned even now.

She turned pink, staring at her feet as she answered. “Yes.”

“You kissed me,” he stated.

“You kissed me first.”

“On script,” he said.

“Are you mad?” Now she looked up at him, twinges of hurt flecking her eyes and accenting an ocean of bright green worry and fear.

“Am I mad? No, I’m definitely no mad.” Now, Jason grinned. He grinned like a fool. “Just wondering if you’ll do it again.”

Rorie smiled shyly, starting to look as giddy as Jason now felt.“At least buy me dinner first,” she said, mischief in her eyes and tugging at her mouth as she shrugged in feigned nonchalance.

“I’m pretty sure dinner is on Bruce tonight, but if you think I’m not going to buy you dinner at the next available opportunity then you are very, very wrong,” Jason said.

Rorie laughed, reaching up to hug him in his favorite way, the only way he ever wanted to be hugged by her ever again.

“Deal, boy wonder,” she whispered in his ear.

Dinner was awkward. Dinner way very, very awkward.

It wasn’t that Bruce disapproved, after the two stumbled through an explanation of their budding relationship. It wasn’t that Alfred disapproved, or Dick, even. No. Horrifyingly, they were all delighted.

“What do you mean you knew?” Jason and Rorie shrieked in unison.

Bruce tried to bring the table back to some form of decorum, since Dick’s exclamation of, “I knew it!” and small victory dance coupled with Rorie and Jason’s indignant screams was slightly out of place in one of Gotham’s nicest restaurants.

 “I mean, it was obvious. You two are always all blushy and cutesy around each other whenever I come over,” Dick explained, cutting into his steak.

“We are not!” Rorie protested, burying her face into her bouquet of brilliant red roses, of which it had turned the same hue.

Jason in turn felt like burying his face into the orchids he was currently holding for her, a gift from Dick. The roses were from Bruce, of course. Alfred had simply baked cookies back at home.

“I’m afraid you are, miss. It’s rather endearing, if it’s any comfort to you,” Alfred reassured.

“This is so embarrassing. You all knew?” Rorie said.

“And now the whole school knows, after that display.” Dick grinned. “You two got so lucky Mrs. Dowly didn’t tear you to pieces.”

As it happened, Mrs. Dowly had rather liked the show. She said that Rorie’s improv had been so impassioned Shakespeare should have written it into the original. Rorie had wilted into the very bottoms of her shoes, looking as though she were trying her best to melt into the floor.

A waiter came by to check on them as they were finishing up, Dick shoveling the last bites of his steak into his mouth. 

“Any dessert?” he asked politely, no doubt with good intentions.

“No!” Jason and Rorie shouted.

The last thing they wanted was more awkward dinner conversation.

“It would seem not,” Bruce said, smiling his, “people are watching,” smile. “We’ll just have the bill.”

“Yes, sir.” The waiter ran off to retrieve the bill, leaving Jason and Rorie to suffer once more.

“So how long had you been thinking about that kiss scene, huh Jay?” Dick asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Jason groaned, his face turning red in that full-flush way that he had about him. Rorie, on the other hand, decided to change tactics. If you can’t beat’em, join’em.

“You know, it’s kind of cute when you do that,” she said.

“What?” Jason asked, confused and slightly alarmed.

“Blush. You do it with your whole head. Neck, face, ears. It’s cute.” Rorie shrugged, trying to hide her own blush.

“Ewww, this is officially too sweet for me now,” Dick said, feigning a gag.

“Please Dick, try to behave like an adult,” Bruce said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The waiter came by and Bruce quickly paid in cash, clearly having come prepared for an outing with his children. Rorie could only guess how enormous the tip was.

“Alfred?” Bruce said, raising his eyebrows as he looked at the man.

“I have already informed the valet that the car is to be brought around, sir,” Alfred said.

“Thank goodness, because I could use a good night’s sleep,” Bruce said.

Rorie and Jason grinned at each other. Bruce Wayne might get 8 hours, but his alter ego never did. It was time for the Bat to roam the streets of Gotham, Robin and Batgirl at his side. It was time to be a hero. 

[fuckyeahevanrwood]

Evan Rachel Wood and Julie Taymor on Why Across the Universe ‘Scared the Shit Out of People’

The Beatles have always had a cinematic presence, from the 1964 faux-documentary A Hard Day’s Night to the experimental shorts of John and Yoko. But no director has ever used the Beatles’ music as inventively and audaciously as Julie Taymor, whose 2007 film Across the Universe is being rereleased in theaters for three days by Fathom Events. Using 33 Beatles songs and minimal dialogue, Across the Universe tells the story of three young adults in the late 1960s: Lucy (then 17-year-old Evan Rachel Wood), an all-American girl who wants to change the world; her brother Max (Joe Anderson), a rebel who gets dragged into Vietnam; and Jude (Jim Sturgess), a working-class artist from Liverpool who follows his dreams across the ocean. Their stories coalesce in New York City, where they befriend blues musicians, acid heads, radical extremists, a closeted lesbian, and Bono in a ridiculous mustache. Fictional characters become entangled in real events (the Detroit riots, the Columbia student protests), using songs from every Beatles era to express a nation’s political and psychedelic awakening.

Taymor’s film is as visual as it is musical. The magical-realism elements Taymor brought to her Oscar-winning film Frida and her Broadway hit The Lion King are blown to epic proportions in Across the Universe. “I Want You” becomes a nightmare ballet about Max’s recruitment and subsequent dehumanization in Vietnam, ending with an image of soldiers carrying the Statue of Liberty as they crush villages underfoot. “Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite” is a psychedelic circus featuring collage animation and 20-foot puppets. “Because” scores an underwater love-in. Even in more traditionally constructed scenes, the scale is breathtaking; the entire film was shot on location and, according to Taymor, employed 5,000 extras.

Across the Universe also runs well over two hours — not a big deal in this age of bloated superhero adventures, but in 2007, the length of Taymor’s cut alarmed Sony executives. Without her approval, the studio test-screened an alternate cut that eliminated much of the film’s political content and minimized the nonwhite supporting characters. Taymor fought back hard, and while she won final cut, she was smeared in the press (industry publications used words like “ballistic” and “hysteria”) and, she says, torpedoed by Sony’s marketing department. The film polarized critics (Roger Ebert loved it, Ann Hornaday hated it) and opened to limp box office, failing to recoup its budget.

And yet — in the past decade, the audience for Across the Universe has grown, its inevitable cult-classic status realized. At the present moment, the film’s portrayal of ’60s activism and art as weapons against government oppression seems especially resonant. In the lead-up to the Fathom Events release, Vulture had a candid conversation with Taymor and Wood about the unusual process of making the film, the bizarre logistics of Wood’s first nude scene, the ongoing challenges facing female directors, and the potential influence of Across the Universe on millennial activists. (Given the timing of the interview, we also threw in a few Westworld season-finale questions.)

There’s no film quite like Across the Universe, so I’d imagine making it was a unique experience. Evan Rachel Wood: It was one of the best experiences of my life. I was 17. Once I heard Julie was making a Beatles movie, I remember just thinking, “There’s nobody else that can do this. And I won’t let anybody else do it!” It just had to be. And then I got the part and we all spent about seven or eight months in New York together.

Julie Taymor: We rehearsed it like a normal musical in theater … and it bonded everybody. I’ll never forget Evan walking in the hallways with this Bowie T-shirt, because at one point we’d asked David Bowie if he was going to play Mr. Kite. And I think that at the moment Evan was really like, “Bowie, Bowie!”

ERW: Well, yeah, I mean I’m always like, “Bowie, Bowie.” But I was also all about Eddie Izzard.  I was always doing Eddie’s stand-up in the hallway.

JT: One of the things that I remember profoundly — this was during the Iraq War right? And it was really touchy subject. When we did the march down Fifth Avenue to Washington Square, the anti-Vietnam War march with the Bread and Puppet Theater puppets — everybody thought they were marching against the Iraq War. Now this is what I wanted to say: When Across the Universe came out ten years ago, it was right before Obama. And maybe this is just my own feeling, but I feel that this movie was very popular amongst young people. And I think people were very inspired by what the youth of America did in the 1960s, how they really made things change.

ERW:  I even remember  that a lot of people in the neighborhood wanted us to leave up the peace signs and protest signs, because it wasrelevant.

I have a vivid memory of going down to the Lower East Side when you were filming and seeing a whole block transformed into a ’60s fantasy of New York City. It was magical, like stepping into a dream. Were there any moments that felt like that to you as you were making it? ERW: Oh my God, all of it. Certainly the scene where we stumble upon the puppets and the blue meanies and Eddie Izzard started coming out and singing. That was when I was really on a different planet.

JT:  We shot that in Garrison, New York, and all of those were papier-mâché handmade puppets, giant puppets. There is almost no CGI in that section. It’s all real.

ERW: I think “I Want You” is one of my favorite numbers in the movie.

JT:  I was walking on a beach in Mexico when I came up with the idea — I’d done the Haggadah at the Public Theater years before, where the slaves are carrying the pyramids across the sands of Egypt. And I got the idea of all the young boys in their underwear and their army boots supporting [the Statue of] Liberty, and the image of Liberty charging through the jungles of the Third World, mashing and stepping and destroying all the trees. You know, the irony of us being this country that says we’re bringing Liberty, at the same time we’re bringing it at the expense of many people.

Evan, what was involved in the scene where you and Jim Sturgess are singing “Because” and making out underwater? ERW:  Speeding up the songs, and then learning how to sing them really fast. So the scenes were like, [sings] “becausetheworldisrounditturnsmeon…” And then she slowed it down so that it looked like it was in real time. So we filmed underwater all day. We would just take a deep breath and dive under and then try to get the song out as quickly as possible.

JT: And she also had to work hard to hide her breasts, right Evan?

ERW:  Oh, I always had to hide my breasts. I could only show one boob because it was PG-13. Two made it an R but one was fine!  And that was my first nude scene.

Julie, you fought the studio to get final cut on this film, when Sony wanted to shorten it. I was reading some of the press from that time, and I was noticing how gendered the language is when they write about you and this movie. There’s a Variety article that says, “She went ballistic to save her child.” JT: Thanks for reminding me. I’d almost forgotten how awful that was.

I’m sorry to bring it up! But I think it’s important to acknowledge that double standard. JT:  You know, for me, I’ve been through it.  Being a successful director on Broadway brings out all kinds of knives and hatred. But the misogyny business is true. And I put blinders on and just tried to do the work. I think every director, male and female, has babies, you know what I mean? It’s not just women. But you’re right. It is sexist dialogue. We loved our movie. And it wasn’t that it wasn’t working. It was working. They just smelled the money and thought if we dumb it down, literally, and get rid of the politics — I saw a cut where they got rid of the Detroit riot. There was no black child who was killed.

ERW:  Prudence wasn’t even gay!

JT: Yeah, they cut “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” so many of the things that I knew young people and everybody would love. Evan had a line — this was one of the first signs of the kind of difficult road that would come. Lucy, who’s 16 or 17, is walking home from school and her best friend says that one of their friends got pregnant. And Lucy says, “I’m never having children. Having children is narcissistic, like putting out carbon copies of yourself.” I remember my best friend, when I was 16, telling me that. I mean, that line came from experience. But the studio said at the time, “Oh, Lucy can’t say that, it will make her so unlikable.” No, will make her likable! Because you have that sign that when she’s a high-school student, that she will become someone like Gloria Steinem or Jane Fonda, that she’s going to become an activist.

The other thing is the poster. The poster that we’re releasing it with now is the underwater poster, the psychedelic poster of them kissing. The one that they put out, the strawberry, everybody who made this film hates. Well, if we’re being honest! [Laughs.] The problem with it is, I think what happens in Hollywood is they think that you can only market to 14-to-15-year-old girls. And we always said this movie, even if it’s PG-13, will appeal from 10-year-olds up through the parents. I mean, the Beatles appeal to all ages. If you watched the karaoke James Corden video with Paul McCartney in Liverpool, all these people in the bars were from 16 years old up to 80. And I’m hoping that with this rerelease this summer, we’ll see the teenagers and the young adults, and also the families.

Evan, you tweeted recently that you’ve been struggling to sell a movie that you will direct with a script written by women. ERW: Oh my goodness, the responses are just breathtaking. I mean, split down the middle: Some people totally get what I’m saying and some people are so angry with me! But the thing is, what I was trying to say was not a sense of entitlement like, “I should have this,” even though I do believe that I could make a really great film. It was just to expose what these rooms are like that you walk into over and over and over again. And until you have the more inclusive pitch rooms with women and people of color and LGBT representation, then you’re not going to see this movie.

And I hear people saying all the time, “Why aren’t there more female directors, why aren’t there more stories about women?” So I wanted to say, “Hey, just so you guys know, I’m really trying. And nada.”  I’m starring in the film, I co-wrote it, I’m directing it, I had an amazing cast, I had amazing DPs, an amazing crew. So everybody that read it was like “absolutely,” but the only people that are wishy about it are financiers, because it is very female-driven. And I do believe that they just don’t understand this film. So that’s what I was trying to say.

You did get a number responses that are just people saying, “ I want to see that film.” ERW: And I did get a lot of inquiries after that tweet. But also lot of people saying my idea is probably not very good, and you’ve never directed anything, and how dare you. I do believe that if I was a man with 25 years’ experience in the industry, who’s worked with some of the greatest directors in the history of film, and who’s lived and breathed it since I was a child — to say that I would have nothing to offer, when I know there are other people with a penis, with less than I have backing me up, that get green-lit, that’s where I’m taking issue. [Laughs.] Because it does seem like there’s an imbalance and it’s unfair. And that’s what I was trying to call out.

Julie, do you have any advice for Evan in this situation? JT: Listen, I’m going through the same thing after 40 years. Evan knows, there’s a movie that I wanted to make with her, a female-driven epic love story. Haven’t been able to do that one. I mean, we still try, and I’m doing [a film adaptation of] Gloria Steinem’s My Life on the Road that will be extremely female-driven! And we will be making it this fall. But I have a number of films that have not gotten off the ground and things that I’ve wanted to do. And it probably has a lot to do with the ballistic-baby concept. Even if people realize that the press has misogynistic writing or fear of a powerful woman, unless they meet you personally — and then I often get people being so surprised! [Laughs.] But I work with a lot of the same people over and over and over again, so I have a very good team and very good friends and collaborators. Evan and Jim, all of the kids on Across the Universe, we’ve stayed close.

Quite honestly, ten years ago, when women were in big positions, they were not supporting other women. They were terrified of losing their job and they had to support the boys’ films. I don’t need to name names, you can all go look at it, but it wasn’t necessarily better that women were at the top because they were frightened of making a mistake and that they would then be called out for having supported chick flicks or women’s things. It was fear. For me it’s more. I have the scarlet letter of “A” on me — not “adultery,” but “art.” Even though The Lion King is the most successful entertainment in the history of all entertainment. [Ed. note: Broadway’s The Lion King has grossed $8 billion to date, more than all the Star Wars movies combined.]

ERW: And Across the Universe is a masterpiece.

JT: And it’s also been very, very successful without a whole lot of press. I mean, Frida didn’t get press either.

ERW:  We even said that when we were making it: “This is going to be a cult classic, this is going to be something that throughout the years will continue to grow and grow.”

JT: The studio is all new people now, and they love it. And they’re very supportive. But I think it’d be great if they would just rerelease the film completely, because it didn’t go out enough as a movie. But they’re dipping their toe in with Fathom. If it does really well this summer, maybe they will do a real rerelease, which would be amazing because I do feel like it’s time. The success of La La Land — well, that had two very big stars in it, but it really comes on the heels of what Across the Universe did ten years ago.

ERW: I want to add about Julie, that she has such a strong vision and she holds true to her conviction. She’s a real artist. And yes, that does scare the shit out of people, because they don’t understand.

JT: Well, they think I’m not interested in commercial success. You gotta be kidding, of course I am!

ERW: Exactly. They underestimate what people want and how art moves people. I mean fuck, look at the Beatles, they changed the world. But I’ve worked with male directors that are complicated and have the same kind of conviction and they’re kind of hailed for it. But when you’re a woman, and you say, “I’m not going to do that, it’s not right,” they’re like, “Well she’s crazy. She’s difficult.” Julie is not crazy or difficult. She’s an artist. And I’ve worked with male artists that are similar that don’t get any shit for it.

JT: Well, thanks Evan. The thing is that we all knew what the movie was, and we presented it all. Maybe the falling Vietnamese ladiessurprised the producers because that was the first day of shooting. That I can understand, kind of gulping for a moment. But the rest of it, we did what was on paper and what we rehearsed. I didn’t change anything. I just did what I intended to do. I remember Amy Pascal jumping up and down in the first screening at Sony, just going, “It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.” And the marketing woman was thrilled. Somebody else got in there and just smelled the money. But at any rate, you heard that already. And yes, I have gone through it and I will continue. But there’s enough great people wanting the kind of films that I want to make and the theater that I want to make. So you know, I’m not dying here.

All right, I know I can’t wrap this up without asking some Westworld finale questions. Evan, is that okay with you? ERW: Ha! Of course.

How much time did you and Tessa Thompson spend practicing Dolores together? ERW: That is so funny. You know it’s hilarious because we became really good friends at the beginning of season two, and then we started hanging out, and then all of a sudden we realized that we were gonna be the same person [laughs] and it was very strange! This show is so funny. Because they didn’t tell us anything.

But I thought she did an amazing job. I would send her recordings of myself doing the dialogue, and then she really sold it. I thought it was great. But you know, we weren’t really doing scenes together and I was basically playing a different character this season. So when she found out she had to kind of be me, she came to me and said, “Wait — what have you been doing?” [Laughs.] I’m like, “OH! Oh right! Yeah, I’ve got to do the voice for you and everything!” So I just made recordings and she really made it her own, it was good.

Ed Harris told us he has no idea what’s going on in the showwhile he’s making it. Have you had a similar experience? ERW: I had no idea what was happening in season two. At all. And we shot out of order, so most of the time — I mean, it was insane to be an actor on season two. I don’t know how I feel about it. [Laughs.] But it was a ride. We stopped reading the call sheets. We would show up and Jeffrey and I would ask what episode we were in. It was kind of that level of — we just lived in the moment in whatever scene that we were doing, and that’s how we made it.

[jooliargh]

Fire Non-starter

Back in July I saw this tweet and started typing up a reply thread. 

(twitter.com/lizduckchong/status/1285428567782723584)

The reply got longer than anticipated so I decided to come back to it when I had more time. Then months passed. And now here we are, and it turns out the story is too long for a tweet thread anyway.

My most on-brand story from school

I was about ten years old so this was the early 80s. I was The Sensible One even then, but disobedient with it and loved a bit of mischief.

Where I lived in South London there were a lot of big, old Victorian houses split into flats, with back gardens that connected together. With a bit of sneaking about you could climb over a few walls, duck down a few alleys and cover quite a distance without seeing a road or a pavement or - best of all - an adult. (The adults all probably knew we did this, but it felt secret and exciting nonetheless.)

There were 'in between' spaces: fenced-off places where buildings had once stood, gardens from derelict houses, undeveloped wedge-shaped areas between other things. (They've all been built on by now, of course. At least one unfeasibly small plot has had a thin, triangular, Grand Designs-style house improbably squeezed into it.) One of these was an area blocked off from the street with corrugated metal fencing which contained the shell of a small building. Brick walls, concrete floor, no roof. A gap where a door once was. At the time we thought it used to be a chapel, although looking back it seems too small. But The Chapel was what we called it.

One day in early summer, before the school holidays, some kids from my primary school who lived nearby decided to have a bonfire in the chapel. A bonfire. Without adults. Clearly this was an exciting proposition. The mastermind of this idea was a kid I will call Angela. (Hers and all other names in this story have been changed.) Angela had already acquired some matches (I think her parents smoked) and would bring other combustible materials as yet unspecified. Jane and Penny, who were sisters, would go to Angela's straight from school to help carry things. It was quite normal for us to be out riding our bikes until evening so being outdoors unsupervised wasn’t unusual and didn’t present a challenge.

For those who grew up later or were subject to more risk-averse parenting, surprising as this may seem, kids trespassed on waste ground or around derelict buildings all the time in the early 80s. It was enough of a problem that between TV programmes on a Sunday there were Public Service Announcements about the dangers of falling off things or being hit by falling things. We heeded the warnings of dire gravitational misfortunes that might occur, so we didn’t climb and we looked out for what was over our heads. (Thanks, PSA people!)

Angela was not noted for her common sense, so when I heard about the plan I did a quick risk-assessment and suggested it would be good to have a bucket of water nearby just in case things got out of hand. This is how I attached myself to the group. I'd also learnt somewhere that plastic is not a good material for a fire bucket, but no problem, we had a galvanised metal bucket at home I could sneak out. While the other three were gathering flammable things and incendiary things, I filled this bucket with water from the kitchen tap and carried it down our garden, over a wall nearly as tall as I was, and through some bushes to the chapel.

I don't know if you spotted that I said I filled the bucket. A full bucket of water is heavy, let alone a metal one. And I was a small, scrawny child, even for my age. I can’t imagine how I got it down from the kitchen sink, let alone out of the house and over this bloody great wall. I'm sure it made a hell of a noise and I must have splashed water everywhere. How my parents didn't notice remains a mystery. They were both partially sighted but they weren't stupid. (It’s also quite possible they did notice and just left me to get on with it.)

We met up at the chapel. The other three were there with matches, newspaper and pampas grass. I have no idea why we thought pampas grass would be flammable, but Angela had some from her garden and it seemed like a good idea at the time. (I have since been told that growing pampas grass in the front garden was how swingers used to signal to other couples. I don't know whether that's true, or if Angela's very straight-laced parents knew. For all I know they were playing swapsies with half the street.)

We had a go at lighting the newspaper, but it was damp. Also, it quickly became apparent, none of us had ever successfully lit a match before. After striking each one, as soon as it flared, we would chuck it onto the pile of newspaper, at which point the match would go out, to our great disappointment and frustration. Eventually one of us must have figured out not to do that and maybe found a dry edge of newspaper, because finally it started to catch a little.

You know the expression "no smoke without fire"? Well, damp newspaper smokes like a bastard, even with only the vaguest bit of smouldering going on. (I have no recollection of what happened to the pampas grass, but I assume it’s not very flammable either because nothing caught fire properly.)

After not very long we were coughing uncontrollably, eyes streaming from the smoke, and also helplessly laughing, well aware of the ridiculousness of four small kids trying to get a fire going, none of whom have the faintest clue how to get a fire going.

Then we heard something from the street that made us fall silent and our blood turn to ice in our veins. A hideous, terrifying sound. One we hadn't expected or prepared for. It was the voice of the local busybody Mrs Turner. She'd seen smoke and heard laughing children, correctly deduced that there was mischief afoot, pressed her face against a gap in the corrugated fence, then spotted and - worse - recognised us. She called each of us by name.

Mrs Turner had been an omission from my risk assessment. She worked in the chemist’s down the road and was acquainted with everyone in the area, including all of our parents. She was also a volunteer at our school so knew our headmistress. This was bad. The laissez-faire approach to discipline in my household meant I probably had the least to fear, but I was scared the others would face much worse consequences if their parents found out, it might have somehow been my fault, and they'd never speak to me again.

I threw the water on the non-fire, which was entirely extinguished with barely a fizz of protest, grabbed the bucket, and ran through the overgrown bushes to climb over the wall (much easier from this side) and head back through our neighbours' properties to my garden. Angela, Jane and Penny were all close behind.

We must have reeked of smoke. While it was normal for us to just come and go while we were out playing, god knows how my parents didn't have more questions when we tried to saunter all casual-like through the back door into the kitchen. Perhaps they reasoned that I'd survived various mad schemes and adventures so far, so I was probably ok. Perhaps they just had other more pressing things to worry about, like how to pay the gas bill.

We knew we hadn't escaped. Mrs T had seen wayward children, up to no good, and there was no chance she'd just go home and forget about it. One way or another, we’d be in trouble. There were no more laughs to be had and we dispersed quietly to await our fate.

Next day at school, PC Carver, the local police station’s schools liaison officer, came into our classroom. He was a frequent visitor, so there was no need to panic just yet. But then he called our teacher outside for a quiet word in the corridor. Shit.

We'd underestimated the level of seriousness with which Mrs T viewed our misdemeanour. She had called not only the school, but also the police. Our teacher returned to the classroom, called out our names, and sent us with PC along to the office of Mrs Krabappel, the headmistress. (Obviously not her real name, but close enough that I couldn’t resist.)

The school secretary kept guard to make sure there was NO TALKING, while PC went into Mrs K's office. We would be called in one at a time for The Bollocking.

I think I was called in last. It turned out we were being ACCUSED OF ARSON, I AM NOT EVEN SHITTING YOU. Mrs T had told the police that we'd SET FIRE TO A FUCKING BUILDING.

I mean, I know policing was different back then, but the absence of an actually burnt building would, you'd think, serve as evidence that no such crime had taken place. I don't know. Maybe the police knew perfectly well we'd set fire to a total of bugger all and just wanted to frighten us. Maybe (I like to imagine) they'd told Mrs T to stop wasting their time, but decided they should probably scare the crap out of us anyway, to save us from a life of crime and/or playing with matches. Looking back, that seems the most likely explanation because there were no charges, our parents weren't even brought into the school, the PC probably wandered off to do some liaising somewhere else, and we were left with Mrs K.

Now seems like a good time to mention that Mrs K was, with hindsight, a not-always-very-functional alcoholic. She was drunk a lot of the time. As a result, she had some... unorthodox discipline methods. Her favourite involved a coat cupboard next to her office with a mirror and an overhead light in it. An errant child would be told to stay in there, facing the mirror, with the door closed and the light on, "until you see how guilty you look and own up". Depending on what the child was avoiding in class by being in there, confessions could take minutes or hours. Whether or not the child had done anything wrong was immaterial. There was a school legend that a notorious repeat offender had once curled up and gone to sleep on the floor of the cupboard. (Do I need to say that OFSTED hadn't been invented yet?)

On this particular day I guess Mrs K wasn't at her creative best, because all I remember is her shouting "YOU'RE AN ARSONIST, WHAT ARE YOU?" and we weren't let go until she was satisfied that we’d said, with sufficient volume and clarity, "I am an arsonist." We were told, for homework, to think about what we'd done, write a story about the dangers of setting fire to things and report back to her in the morning.

Now, I had a good vocabulary for my age, and while I couldn't have told you precisely what "arsonist" meant, I was pretty sure I wasn't one. Bearing in mind what you now know about ten-year-old me and my home life, the following scene may not surprise you:

Me: Mum, can I borrow the dictionary? Mum: [Doesn't glance up from some feminist literature she's probably reading through her magnifier] Mm-hmm Me: [after a minute looking in the dictionary, and another minute deep in thought] Mum, you know how an arsonist is a person who causes criminal damage by fire? Mum: Mm-hmm Me: Is there a word for someone who just really likes setting fire to things?

Next morning, all four of us kids were again lined up outside the headmistress's office. One by one we were brought in to see Mrs K. My turn came around.

Mrs K: Did you do your homework? Me: [hands it over] Mrs K: And did you think about what you've done? Me: Yes miss Mrs K: And what do you have to say about it? Me: Miss, I'm NOT an arsonist, I'm a PYROMANIAC.

And that’s why this is the most on-brand story from my childhood.

I don’t know what happened to Angela. She never liked me anyway, and we lost touch when we left primary school. I kept in contact with Jane and Penny a couple more years, and more recently I heard that they both became primary school teachers. I didn’t pursue a career in pyrotechnics, or as a firefighter. And while I love a bit of harmless mischief, I'm still, at heart, The Sensible One. I am not, and have never been, an arsonist.

[rebeccaheyman]

reading + listening 9.21.20

The Bookshop of Second Chances (Jackie Fraser), eBook ARC (pub date May 2021). Four-star NetGalley review:

At first, THE BOOKSHOP OF SECOND CHANCES just seems like a charming tale of a down-on-her-luck, 44-year-old woman finding a new life in a small Scottish town. But in a neat trick of smart plotting deft characterization, Fraser turns the narrative into so much more.

Thea is a refreshingly direct, introspective, infinitely relatable woman who's been dealt two very different hands at once: she's been laid off from her job right around the time she discovered her husband of 20 years has been having an affair, but she's also inherited a house -- complete with rare book collection -- and a not-insignificant sum of money from a dear but distant great uncle. With little keeping her anchored to her old life, Thea travels to Baldochrie to see about the house. Once there, she finds life in a small town on the Scottish coast suits her rather well, and then of course, there's Edward.

Edward has, like too many of us I suspect, based much of his life on the hurts of his youth. He's a modern-day Heathcliff who's moved past the romantic fixations of yesteryear long enough to become a curmudgeonly adult with a rather dysfunctional sex life. He's at war with his brother, the literal lord of the manor in Baldrochie, and spends his days holed up in his rare books shop. Until Thea walks in, and something like friendship begins.

I savored the slow unfolding of these two characters, who I grew to care about immensely. Fraser's is a nuanced portrait of a woman in middle age, facing the necessity of beginning again. To say Thea is an "everywoman" discounts her uniqueness, wit, and rather special charm, but she's not *not* everywoman, either. She feels like someone I know, or someone who could, in another life, be me. So it's a particular kind of triumph to see her grow and change and find joy.

Comps to EVVIE DRAKE STARTS OVER are warranted only in the loosest sense; the storytelling and writing here are far superior. Readers who enjoyed WOULD LIKE TO MEET will appreciate Thea and Edward's later-in-life romance, and fans of Graeme Simsion will find a lot to appreciate in Fraser's three-dimensional characterizations and excellent dialogue.

Tall, Duke, and Dangerous (Hazards of Dukes #2), (Megan Frampton), eBook ARC (pub date October 2020). If you’ve been reading these reviews weekly, you’ll know that I listened to the first-in-series, Never Kiss a Duke, last week. The sophomore installation was... not good. Two-star NetGalley Review:

If you, like me, felt that the first installment in the Hazards of Dukes series was a knockoff version of Kleypas's DEVIL IN WINTER, you're going to feel more of that "recycled trope" vibe in the second book-in-series, TALL, DUKE, AND DANGEROUS. While Ana Maria and Nash, our main couple, were introduced in book 1, the characterizations here seemed to come out of nowhere; our heroine is a literal Cinderella -- a girl of noble birth, forced to act as a maid by her now-blessedly-dead stepmother, and newly restored to her proper place in society -- while our hero was the victim of parental abuse at the hands of his father, which has left him isolated from his emotions and hopelessly taciturn. Ana Maria is fluent in Grunting Duke, so she can decipher Nash's true feelings even when he can't. And lucky for both of them, he wants her to be a Regency-era MPDG, and she's totally fine with it: "I want you to help me find the good parts of being who I am, of using who I am to do better for everyone. Joyfully." In other words, "I'd like you to make me the best version of myself, because that should definitely be your responsibility, o ye of the lesser sex." 

I've given Megan Frampton a very fair shake -- in fact, I've read three of her books in the past seven days. Each has felt like a faint echo of better HRs I've read before. While the writing is serviceable enough, the storytelling is weak. Here particularly, the ending comes fast; there's no denouement, not even the Epilogue one expects in this genre. I'd wager my last crown that book three sees Thaddeus and Olivia making an unlikely pairing. All in all, I have to let go of my hopes for Frampton's work, which seems derivative and predictable at best, and dangerously familiar at worst.

Lady Be Bad (The Duke’s Daughters #1), (Megan Frampton), aBook (narr. Jilly Bond). Please let us never try to parse why I leaned in so hard to Megan Frampton this week. After NEVER KISS A DUKE last week, I just... wanted to see what she was about, I guess? Which makes no sense, because if we’re talking about HR authors I read for the first time last week, I should have latched on to Julie Anne Long, whose LADY DERRING TAKES A LOVER I actually really enjoyed. Like I said -- we shouldn’t overthink this. 

Here’s the deal with LADY BE BAD: If Sarah MacLean’s NINE RULES TO BREAK WHEN ROMANCING A RAKE (2012) and Tessa Dare’s SAY YES TO THE MARQUESS (2014) had a scandalous affair, this book would be the chaise longue they fooled around on in the drawing room. That’s it. That’s the review.

The Mighty Oak (Jeff Bens), aBook (narr. Adam Barr). You might be wondering what business I had reading a literary character study about a violent, drug-addicted hockey player, so I will tell you: Blackstone Audio, publisher/producer of innumerable aBook titles I have listened to and loved, started a GoFundMe to help those employees who have lost everything in the fires raging across the western US. I don’t personally know anyone at Blackstone, but I can hear the echo of Mary Jane Wells saying “Blackstone Audio presents...” on every intro track to The Ravenels series. This company is responsible, in part, for many hours of joy in my life, and now their employees are suffering, and if we’re not committed to small acts of kindness to help those who have totally, inadvertently helped us, what the hell are we doing with ourselves? Cutting this tangent short to say that Jeff Bens saw my tweet about the GoFundMe and very kindly emailed to say thanks for donating, so I said hey let me know when your forthcoming Blackstone title releases and he said actually it’s today and I think you know what happened next. Before I get to my review, I’m going to repost the link to the Blackstone Audio GoFundMe, and I truly hope you will donate even a single dollar. The book community is vast and beautiful, and for all its flaws, I want to believe we take care of each other. SECOND ACTION ITEM is to peruse the catalogue and buy or borrow a Blackstone Audio title. Might I suggest...

THE MIGHTY OAK is about Tim “Oak” O’Connor, a hockey player lauded for his violence and intensity on the ice. Tim’s body is breaking down under the stress of his lifestyle, which involves a lot of OxyContin, and it’s pretty clear his mind is likewise struggling under the weight of drug abuse and, probably, CTE. The thought that kept resonating with me while I listened to Adam Barr’s excellent narration was this: Tim O’Connor is a drowning man who doesn’t realize he’s wet. The portraiture in THE MIGHTY OAK is powerful, visceral, and heartbreaking, even as Tim’s journey resolves in something like victory. CW for drug abuse, physical violence, and -- no other way to say this -- an eyeball dangling from its socket. 

Ready Player One (Ernest Cline), aBook (narr. Wil Wheaton). I’m generally a sucker for books about puzzles -- even puzzles based on 80s pop culture and video games. RPO is what would happen if The Westing Game and Ender’s Game made crossover appearances on an episode of The Twilight Zone. The world-building is top-notch, if belabored at times; in a version of our world that has departed so completely from the reality we know, the temptation to narrate quotidian minutiae was too strong for Cline to resist. It’s not uninteresting, for example, to hear every painstaking detail about how Wade sets up the gaming system in his apartment, but it’s not exactly page-turning either. The story’s peaks more than compensate for its valleys, and you can’t beat Wheaton’s narration.