#also talked about best cars for certain “car people” statuses

[kiwi-luminaryofthestars]

03/07/2025 Progress Update:

TLDR: About an additional 1.5K drafted today. Reworked some more dialogue. Made a character motivation chart, as promised, for the character I was struggling with getting motivation down.

Yeehaw we another 1.5K deep, so about 21K-ish. Mostly fleshed out the first section a bit more, but could still absolutely use some more detail, so I'll probably be working on that heavy these next couple of days.

I said I was liking where the Rantaro conversations were, and then I re-read the second one over again today and.... erghhhhh wasn't feeling it anymore. This sorta thing happens to me constantly lol BUT I don't think it's a bad thing. Dialogue is probably the element of this fic I rewrite the most of (Kirigiri and Shuichi's conversation in chapter 4 was rewritten I couldn't even tell you how many times lol) and I try my absolute damndest to get them right. SO we'll probably be tweaking it a bit AGAIN. Whateverrrr it's fine, I want it to sound right. However many times I need to rewrite it to get it there is necessary.

I did end up making a character motivation chart, as I said in a previous update, to help me with some of the later sections of the chapter. This is probably going to sound strange, but Shuichi is the only one I did this for. I've got the hang of everyone else, but Shuichi's actions gave me trouble. There's a very particular reason for this (which I've alluded to in a comment, but I'll never tell which one lol) and it's making his decision-making a little harder to get down. Just have to balance, and that can be difficult, but we're trying!!

Didn't realize I have a fuck-ton of homework tomorrow (NOOOOO WYYYY GOODDDDD) so idk if getting a ton of shit written will be possible this weekend anymore, but I'll still try. Still no ETA on when this chapter will be done, but as you can tell I'm actively working on it lol so you don't need to worry about it happening eventually. Just takes time, which I wish I had WAY more of lol.

I hope you have a wonderful night!! Manifesting as delicious a dinner I had tonight for you (number one comfort food: broccoli chicken pasta my boyfriend and I made for like every goddamn meal when we first left home, and we had it again tonight YESSS). Reading more of the phantom thief au to him tonight too (it's like a mini event lol, reading fanfiction to him on Friday night.) We at chapter 2 and he keeps forgetting which of them is rich, so he asks me constantly lmao. I'm sure that's confusing af for someone who knows jack shit about Danganronpa, but my lovely indulgent boyfriend is tryna enjoy it anyway because he knows I love it lolll so we grateful to him <3

[elescritora]

Tag Game

So every time I think I have the tumblr iOS app’s idiosyncrasies figured out, it chucks a new spanner in the works. Notifications to posts this time. I’ve set it up to email me all my notifications now, which feels so 90s, but maybe going old school will work.

Anyway, that preamble is related in an ‘I’m sorry this response is super late’ way. As you stated @abreathofsnowandashes, better late than never..? Thanks for tagging me. Even if you've forgotten by now.

Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, add 10 questions of your own and tag 10 people.

-----

1.) If you could ask Jamie and Claire one question, what would it be?

Did you ever wonder whether the Stuart Rising happened the way it did because of your interference? Like, what if your meddling in France was the catalyst, or somehow encouraged the movement - perhaps in some tiny way that seemed insignificant but was, in fact, pivotal? What do you think your lives would have been like if you’d left well enough alone? Of course, it would be pretty mean to actually ask them that, so I’d probably just ask them something nice and friendly like ‘OMG, wow, your curls are so shiny and bouncy and not flyaway, how do you make that happen? How are is your hair not a rat’s nest when you wake up?’

2.) Is there a specific impression you want to leave people with of you?

Competence. Kindness. Intelligence. Wit. And, apparently, wordiness and indecisiveness.

3.) If you could take a road trip right now, what car are you driving, where are you going, and who is with you?

A road trip. With a 3yo and a 1yo. Hahaha nope.

4.) Name a song that makes you feel strong

Cliche ahead: ‘I am Woman’.

Side note: I had a super crush on Helen Reddy as a kid.

5.) Do you have a favourite poem? If so, what is it?

Even though it makes me sound horribly nationalistic, there’s something about Dorothea Mackellar’s ‘My Country’. It gets the Aussies in the feels. And I always liked ‘The Highwayman’ by Alfred Noyes. I first read it as a kid, so it’s a bit nostalgic for me, but it's got good tension.

6.) What conversation are you dying to have? Who with?

I wish I could talk to my great, great grandmother and ask her what her story was, and who my great grandmother’s father was. All we know is that GGGrandma was widowed or abandoned with 4 young children, started a boarding house (or bawdy house..?) in order to generate income for the family, and then had 7 more children. The youngest was my GGrandma. Her mother’s late husband was posthumously listed on the birth certificate as her father, but who was the biological father? Someone of Medditerranean descent, based on certain health statuses of descendants, is all we know. That’s all we will ever know, unless I got this hypothetical conversation taking place.

7.) How do you take your hot drink of choice?

Soy hot chocolate, which is actually more warm because I burn my tongue on hot drinks.

8.) Was there enough room for two on that piece of wood? You know which one I’m talking about.

Yes! Omg that drove me wild. Just climb on, it’ll stabilise!

9.) What are you passionate about? Are you doing anything to express that passion?

My family. I basically do everything I do for my wife and kids. All my choices are based in what will be the best for them and for us as a family. I am so lucky and grateful to have such wonderful people in my life, even when everyone is driving me nuts! Sometimes it would be nice to have ten mins to myself...

I also wish I could be writing more (not for work, doesn't count!). I love writing. But until the girls can sleep independently I am stuck with the iPad in bed, which isn't really conducive to the practice, although I give it a shot. Rough drafts at least.

10.) What’s the best dream you ever had?

My cat came to tell me he was ok. He’d died the day before. It was sad and loving and uplifting all at once. Weirdly, my housemate had the same dream on the same day, and she mentioned it independently several days later. Kind of freaked us out!

-----

My questions (a bit of a mixed bag) for those who choose to participate. I don't know many of you so I thought this might be a good chance to say hi. I’m tagging: @bonnie-wee-swordsman, @gotham-ruaidh, @lenny9987, @drunklander, @internallydeceased, @anoutlandishidea, @diversemediums, @kalendraashtar, @zoe1078, @writtenthroughtime.

1. What do you do when you can't sleep at night?

2. If Claire’s theory of travel is correct and you’re anchored by a person on the other side of the stones, and thinking of them can guide and direct your travel, what’s your take on how she went through in the first place?

3. What’s your favourite herb or spice, and why?

4. Outlander: books or show?

5. Assuming reincarnation is real, what/who would you be in your next life?

6. How DOES Claire keep her hair looking so good in the 18th century? Curls are no joke.

7. Who is the most forgettable, yet important to the plot (so must be included), Outlander character, and why?

8. What is your favourite children’s book?

9. If Dougal had been unmarried and offered his hand to Claire to escape Black Jack (instead of Jamie’s), what would have happened?

10. Is higher education worth the cost?

If anyone else wants to play or answer these questions, please do, and tag me back so I can see your answers!

[smalltriumphs]

Let’s talk.

I don’t think many people know this but I started this Tumblr blog as a way to cope with anxiety.

If you have the time or interest to go back to my entries from 2010 - which I doubt you do - you’ll notice the posts were text-heavy. I needed to write my feelings down in order to make sense of them, to place the intrusive thoughts elsewhere instead of in my head. I’ve always kept journals and diaries as a kid. I’ve always felt the need to work my emotions out in that way.

Those closest to me know that something happened to me in 2010. Something in me changed, and I’m still not sure if it was for better or for worse. I don’t think I’ve ever explained it here or to even the people in my life. I think I’ve only described it in vague terms: I was overwhelmed. Stressed. I couldn’t take it anymore.

So why am I bringing it up now, nearly seven years later? Mental health has become a prominent topic since then, and it’s truly uplifting and encouraging to see public figures, strangers, and even close friends come to terms with and open up about their own mental health issues. Yesterday was Bell Let’s Talk Day, an initiative created to end the stigma around mental health and to raise money for mental health programs. According to the Bell Let’s Talk Twitter account, $6,585,250.50 will be donated to mental health initiatives in Canada. The money was raised by posting on social media with the hashtag, #BellLetsTalk. Each mention was worth five cents.

Not only were people sharing tweets and Facebook statuses, but also very personal stories in blog posts and Instagram captions about their own struggles dealing with depression, anxiety, and so on. I couldn’t imagine the amount of guts it took for some of these people to take ownership of their mental health issues. I admired their vulnerability and was in awe of their candidness.

And then I felt like a fraud.

Here I was, nodding along in agreement and admiration at everyone’s journey, but I didn’t have the balls to share my own. I shared this feeling of hypocrisy with Miller, and he encouraged me to write about it.

So here it is. I will try to be as honest as possible, but some things I just refuse to share and would rather keep to myself. I hope you understand. Also, since it has been seven years, I likely won’t remember every single detail.

In 2010, I was in my second year of university and I remember feeling incredibly uneasy most of the time. I was taking an ethics class, and not understanding the material at all, which was not a feeling I am used to. My grades were below average, and I didn’t have a single friend in that class to share my anxious feelings with. The teacher was no help either.

Then by the end of the semester, the teacher emailed me to discuss something serious in her office. As I sat down, she told me I failed the class. I don’t remember much but she said, “I’m sorry it had to end this way.” I nodded, fighting back tears. She let me out of her office, and I slowly walked away from her, but I really wanted to bolt.

I immediately told my parents I failed a class, and they were surprisingly supportive and kind, probably because they noticed my zombie-like behaviour and appearance lately. I was relieved to have their support, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like complete shit.

After that, things started to happen to my body. 

I was having a lot of trouble sleeping - so much so that I needed my mother there in order to feel calm. One night, after hours of tossing and turning, I called my mother in. I was about to burst into tears, feeling so frustrated about life. My mom, who was incredibly groggy, tried to calm me down, but failed. Instead, I started shaking.

It was completely involuntary. I had never experienced something like that before. I tried to lie down but I still kept shaking. I asked my mom to hold my hand and sit on me to get me to stop, and she did. Moments later, the shaking ceased. My mom spent the night with me.

That was just the beginning. What followed were months and months of restless nights, random bouts of crying (I cried in the car after a dental cleaning), intrusive thoughts about failure, death, and illness, feelings of inadequacy, difficulty breathing in certain classrooms or public transit...

I went to a couple of doctors, starting with my regular family physician, who told me to stop being idealistic. At the moment, I was bewildered, but I kind of understand what she means now. The second doctor was a man who prescribed me anti-anxiety pills - I took them once and, oh my gosh, never again. I felt incredibly alert and lucid and weird - not really what I want to experience before bedtime.

However, he also recommended I talk to a school counsellor. At the time, it wasn’t widely accepted to go to a counsellor as it was to make a trip to the dentist or physician, but I was desperate and determined to get through this, whatever it was. 

Once or twice a week, I met with a kind, softspoken brunette woman whose office was located in the basement of the university I attended. Muted pastels and light shades of grey surrounded me as I discussed things that I normally don’t bring up in conversation. My utter fear of failure. My affinity for control. The crippling desire to please my parents. I cried in that office more times that I can remember. I was embarrassed at first, but it felt good to finally let go and share the deepest, darkest, most hidden parts of me.

In those sessions, she recommended small things I could do to manage my anxiety. It was there I realized it was something I would probably never get rid of but I could learn to live with if I had the proper tools and resources. Most of them you can guess - friends, family, physical activity, self-care, etc.

Over the years, I tried my best to follow her tips (I have a Type A personality, after all...). Most days were good, but I also had - have - really bad days. And I’m still learning to be OK with the bad days.

I’m not sure what I hope to achieve by sharing this. Was it self-serving, to show how far I’ve come? Was it to participate in a conversation that I’ve been dying to be a part of since 2010? Maybe it’s a bit of both.

If this helps at least one person in any way, then I’m glad I’ve bared a part of my soul.

And now, back to the regularly scheduled programming of reblogged posts.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #46

honestly too lazy to muse over song lyrics so hey let’s get into it.

has anyone ever called you sexy? jason did the first time he saw me in a bikini and i blushed like a bitch. do you like raisins? NO what is your favorite bug? butterflies what is your opinion on abortion? lmao do you REALLY want me to get into that one? what is your opinion on gay marriage? it's fine. what is your opinion on gay adoption? also fine, so long as you don't raise said child to think being gay is "normal," like A LOT of people seem to think. now before i get blown up with notes about how "i'm calling being gay bad," NO. normal and bad are two very different things. being gay is a mutation, thus is not normal. but is it bad? no. it irks me when people think that being gay is normal, bc it's not, and a gullible child should not be told differently. do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? absolutely not. would you rather freeze or burn to death?  burn, only because freezing would be agonizingly slow you've just died, and you're given the choice of reincarnation, being a spirit, or going to heaven/hell, wherever you belong.  i wanna go to heaven. have peace. you're in prison. would you think about trying to escape and running away?  no. i'd get caught.  they always do in the end. you're getting married! where’s your honeymoon? idk tbh. aside from any current relationships, what was your closest relationship ever? me and jason do you give good massages?  well. jason has a terrible back so i used to give him massages a lot and they always ended with us making out so lol. when’s the last time you went against your eating habits or religion (ex. eating beef when you’re muslim)?  never even if you are not christian or never celebrated christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in santa clause? why or why not? absolutely!! it's all in good fun and it stimulates the imagination. jason never believed in santa and when i found out, i remember i felt really sad for him. when you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? sigh. they're always about jason rejecting me in one way or another. what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) women? what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) men?  i do NOT like skanky clothes, ex. shorts that literally show off your ass or shirts with an immense amount of cleavage. i can't stand baggy pants on men. do you believe america should legalize drugs? if you think they should legalize only some drugs, which drugs do you think they should legalize?  ... no??? what the fuck's next, legalizing murder bc it would deter murderers??? would you vote a homosexual president into office? why or why not? yes, because why not? what's your most embarrassing sex (or sexual) story? if you haven't had sex, talk about an embarrassing sex story you heard. i've told this before in an old survey: that time i'm pretty damn sure i was about to orgasm but instead i had a panic attack because i didn't understand what i was feeling lmao besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don't want anyone to know? first let it be known that i don't watch porn. it's disgusting. two, the meerkat role-play site i take part in because i find rp embarrassing to the public eye. would you support marijuana legalization if it were taxed and distributed in a way similar to alcohol? nope what do you most want to improve upon in yourself? not allow my happiness to be dependent on others if you were throwing your significant other / best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? elephants! she loves them! how often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? like, once a month? who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? hmmm... i'm honestly tied between the mad hatter and the cheshire cat! what'​​s your curre​nt boy situa​tion?​​ i'm single, but i just joined a dating site like... yesterday so i guess you could say i'm looking. it's honestly embarrassing to me personally to be on a dating site, but after a month's worth of thought, i decided i think that's what's best for me. gave you ever donat​ed blood​?​​ yes. have you ever been to seawo​rld? yep. what video game should everybody play at least once?  "silent hill 2." NO, not because it's my favorite game, but that damn message. it shows that you cannot run from your past and regrets; you instead have to face up to them. what is impossible to understand until it happens to you? mental illnesses what’s a weird thing you are scared of? WHALE SHARKS what is the most enjoyable exercise? biking how much time do you spend putting on makeup daily? i usually don't wear makeup. but if i do, gimme like five minutes have you ever worn faux eyelashes? nope what color is your flash-drive? pink when’s the next time you’ll change your hairstyle and will you color it? hairstyle will remain the same, gotta get the layers trimmed tho. i'm getting galaxy hair after my red fades!! has anyone ever called you fake and do you agree with them? no. do you make an effort to talk to all of your facebook friends, or are there certain people that you talk to the most? nope. i mean i'll "like" some of their statuses and whatnot, but i don't talk to most of them anymore. do you hate your weight? very much so. what kind of mood are you in atm? is someone else responsible for that mood? i'm anxious to do something, and no. who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. colleen asked to hang out a couple days back, spent the night two days. :D i met her in girl scouts, but i barely remember back then. we really bonded in middle school. if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? it really depends on their situation.0 have you ever worn colored mascara? if not, would you ever think about trying it? and if you have, what is / was your favorite color to wear? ohhh, i haven't, but that'd be cool! who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my dentist. she liked my hair. what color is your purse/wallet? my purse is maroon and black. my wallet is red, black, and white. it's got a harley quinn design on it. before facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like bebo or myspace? i had myspace. which disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? why? uhhh... aesthetically... i guess belle, maybe? or jasmine? if i’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? DO NOT GET ME THE KINDS WITH FILLING OTHER THAN CHOCOLATE ITSELF OMG if you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? "thank you for saving my life" when you’re going to be at home all day, do you bother to get out of your pajamas? nope. given the choice, would you rather drink juice or soda? soda. i'm aware that's terrible, lol. how many piercings do you have? are there any more that you want? i have two in each earlobe, my tragus, my cartilage, and my nose done. i want a labret lip piercing and the snake eyes tongue piercing, as well as more on my ears. do you play angry birds? no. i recently watched the movie with friends tho, and it's so cute! do you tend to get hungry late at night? YEAH has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? yeah. we didn't actually date, but it was serious flirting, and i consider that cheating. do you blow dry your hair? NO NO NO YOU NEVER WANT TO BLOW DRY MY HAIR. it's thick af and will literally take you 10+ minutes to get completely dry. if you’ve ever had and quit a job, did you actually call in and quit or put in your two weeks notice or did you just stop showing up? at my first job, i talked face-to-face with the manager and didn't show up after i quit. at my second job, i texted my boss and didn't show up after that. do you tend to baby or take care of the people you date, or do you tend to date alpha types that take care of you? ehhh, both? like i think it's in MOST females' nature to be motherly, and i was like that with my ex, but my ex definitely cared for me, too. how would you feel if the person you were interested in refused to perform oral sex on you? i wouldn't mind. i find oral gross, anyway. when you get upset do you have any physical reactions, like prickles in your spine or your knees going weak? my head gets this weird tingling sensation. do you ever “facebook stalk” or go through facebook albums of attractive boys/girls that you have mutual friends with (but haven’t met in person)? do you ever add them? nope. hypothetically speaking, if you ever give birth to a son, would you have him circumcised? yes, in interest of his health. which of your facebook friends posts the most annoying/irritating/enraging facebook posts? what do they post? oh my GOSH, a friend i met at the hospital, whom i won't name for her privacy. she's BEYOND pro-choice, bashes EVERYONE who disagrees with her, posts a billion rants a day, and is just... very shallow in what she shares. is there something that a person can do and watching them do it makes you quite a bit attracted to them for it (e.g., watching someone play guitar, watching a someone work on a car, etc.)? many things, yeah, like the two you listed, but more. what accent do you find most difficult to understand? southern, but only when it's VERY heavy. what movie never fails to make you cry? "the notebook" do you like 3d movies? sure have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? nope do you let music move your body, or do you hold back? i always hold back why is your favorite store your favorite? i find their clothes aesthetically pleasing can you handle the stress of working in food/customer service? NONONONONO what kind of place would you want to raise your children? idk, the same state i was raised in, i guess. would you let your child have a pet? depends on their age, really. if i think they're mature enough to care for it themselves, yes. do you enjoy talking to people over webcam? NO CAN YOU SAY AWKWARD would you rather die or eat another human being? die. how would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile? i'd be... pretty devastated. i want kids, but at the same time, i'm so scared to have another life under my supervision. idk. do you like meatball subs? sure. have you been baptized in any religious tradition? yep. what is your favorite meal of the day? breakfast what season were you born in? winter what’s your favorite breed of dog? idk, i like akita inus, chow-chows, beagles... do you use twitter? nope are you a good babysitter?   not particularly.  i'm awkward with kids. how old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?   sigh.  he'll be 23 in two days. what’s the relationship with you and the last person you kissed?   we're nothing but strangers now. has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? �� he was apparently full of shit.

[johnaculbreath]

When And How To Use a Lawyer

Introduction

Almost everything we do from making a purchase to driving a car, to interacting with others is affected by the law in some way, shape or form. While it often seems hard to live with the law, it would surely be harder to live without it. In our country, the law is, in a real sense, the people’s law. It is part of the democratic heritage of Americans. The availability of the law does, however, reveal a bewildering variety of choices. When do you need a lawyer? When can (or should) you handle a matter on your own? The purpose of this chapter is to help you make the best choices. There are many legal situations that you can and should handle on your own, without the assistance of a lawyer. However, when circumstances and laws are unique, complicated, or confusing, you may need a lawyer’s guidance. You also may need a lawyer’s services when you are so close to a problem that you are unable to see your way through to a proper solution. While this chapter does not examine specific situations, it can help you determine when you should hire a lawyer, what a lawyer can and cannot do for you, and what you can do to help yourself.

Table of Contents

When You Need Assistance

Does needing a lawyer’s help always mean that I have a legal problem?

Answer. No. In fact, lawyers very often help clients in matters that have nothing to do with disputes or legal cases. For example, with their lawyer’s help, people are advised about the legal aspects of starting a business or engaging in a partnership, assisted in buying or selling a home, and counseled on tax matters or estate planning, to name just a few possibilities. Often, clients receive a regular legal check–up that, like a medical check–up, is designed to prevent problems or nip them in the bud.

Do I need a lawyer every time I have a legal grievance?

Answer. Although the law enters into many aspects of daily living, you certainly do not need a lawyer every time you become “involved” with the law. Some Americans have become too inclined to hire lawyers and proceed to court to resolve problems. For example, sports fans have sued to have a referee’s controversial decision reversed, and a jilted suitor has tried to recover the cost of an evening’s entertainment. Of course, lawsuits like these are not common (that is why they make the news), but they illustrate that many problems are not really the business of the law or our courts.

What should I do if I have an argument with a neighbor over the boundary line between our properties?

Answer. First attempt to talk to your neighbor. After all, you probably will have to go on living next to each other. If that fails, you may wish to seek mediation or some other form of informal dispute resolution to help the two of you resolve the problem. Perhaps you can get some guidance from public records, already existing surveys, or title searches that have been done. Maybe prior owners can cast light on the subject. If these options fail, the two of you might want to jointly pay for a survey or jointly ask a court to decide the matter (see discussion of “quiet title” in the

If I buy a new stove and it stops working just as the warranty expires, should I contact a lawyer?

Answer. No. First, read the warranty and see what rights you may have, notify the merchant and see if you can negotiate a satisfactory solution. If that does not work, contact the manufacturer. Though the Better Business Bureau does not resolve disputes, perhaps a complaint to them will stir the merchant or manufacturer to action. As a last resort, you can file suit in a small claims court. You can do all this without a lawyer.

Should I always wait until a problem becomes serious before I contact a lawyer?

Answer. No. In certain matters, if you call a lawyer as a last resort, it may already be too late. For example, it is difficult for a lawyer to protect you after you have signed away your rights or if you have waited too long to assert your rights. And some legal matters are so important or so complex that you will need a lawyer from the beginning. In such cases, having legal help early will probably save expense—and anxiety.

Why can’t legal documents be in a language that I understand?

Answer. Lawyers and others trained in the law often use legal terms as shorthand to express complicated ideas or principles. The words and phrases, many rooted in Latin, are often jokingly referred to as a foreign language—“legalese.” Although some legalese may be necessary in order to communicate certain ideas precisely, a document that is understood by very few of its readers is just plain poor communication. Since 1978, federal regulations are required to be “written in plain English and understandable to those who must comply” with them. Many states also have laws requiring that insurance policies, leases, and consumer contracts be written in plain English. Of particular importance here is the trend among law schools to discourage the use of legalese while encouraging writing in plain, comprehensible English.

Help From People Other Than Lawyers

If I do not use a lawyer, who else can help me?

Answer. Unless your problem is so serious that only a lawyer can resolve it, you should first consider another source of help. If you believe a business has cheated you, help can be obtained from a consumer protection agency run by your city, county, state or federal government. Many businesses, stores, and utility companies have their own departments to help resolve consumer complaints. Some communities have an ombudsman to mediate and resolve minor landlord/tenant, consumer or employment issues. Local television and radio stations may have programs to resolve consumer–related disputes.

Are there other professionals who can be of assistance?

Answer. Yes. Do not overlook the obvious. If you have a problem with insurance, for example, discuss it with your insurance agent. Bankers, accountants, real estate agents, and stockbrokers are others who may be able to help with problems in their specific fields. Of course, if your dispute is with them they may not be a source of unbiased information. Even so, it costs nothing to ask and they may provide free advice that can help you evaluate whether your problem needs the attention of a lawyer.

Can counseling solve some problems?

Answer. Yes. Sometimes problems that seem to be “legal” may be helped or prevented by other means. Many groups offer guidance and counseling for personal problems arising in marriage, child-rearing, and managing finances. Private counselors or members of the clergy also may provide such help.

What is a small claims court?

Answer. Disputes over money are common, but often the amount of money at issue does not justify hiring attorneys or using scarce judicial resources. Small claims court is a streamlined forum where people can air their dispute and have it decided promptly and fairly. Most states have procedures that allow people to represent themselves in court if the total amount of their claim is under a certain dollar amount. The cost is minimal, procedures are simple, and there is usually little delay. Keep small claims courts in mind if your problem is not very complicated and your losses are relatively small—in the hundreds or low thousands. The next chapter provides guidance on how to file and pursue a small claims lawsuit.

A friend recommended that I try a local dispute resolution center. What does this offer?

Answer. For the right kind of case, these centers can be a quick, low–cost (or free) alternative to formal legal proceedings. These will also be discussed in the next chapter.

Help From Lawyers

I understand that, under certain circumstances, going to a lawyer may be unnecessary. Are there specific cases when I should see a lawyer?

Answer. Yes, there are matters best handled by a lawyer. While these matters are sometimes hard to recognize, nearly everyone agrees that you should talk with a lawyer about major life events or changes, which might include:

being arrested for a crime or served with legal papers in a civil lawsuit;

being involved in a serious accident causing personal injury or property damage;

a change in family statuses such as divorce, adoption, or death;

a change in financial status such as getting or losing valuable personal property or real estate, or filing for bankruptcy.

Is there another way to determine whether I need to hire a lawyer?

Answer. Yes. One way is to look at how other Americans have answered the question. In a recent study of Americans over the age of 18, researchers for the American Bar Association found almost half had used a lawyer in the past five years. The most common legal matters taken to lawyers involved

real estate transactions (12%)

drawing up a will (11%)

as a party to a lawsuit (11%)

divorce/separation (9%)

probate/estate settlement matters (6%)

child support/custody matter (5%)

draw up an agreement/contract (5%)

Other fairly common matters requiring a lawyer’s help included traffic matters, insurance claims, bankruptcy, auto accidents, and being a complainant or defendant in a criminal proceeding. Source: Perceptions of the U.S. Justice System (Chicago: American Bar Association, 1999).

Is the use of lawyers growing?

Answer. Apparently. A 1993 survey of 815 adults nationwide showed that the use of a lawyer for both personal and business matters had increased significantly from 1986. Researches found that more middle and low-income people were reporting that they used lawyers’ services.

If it is obvious that I will need a lawyer for a certain circumstance, should I save money and wait until I absolutely need the lawyer’s services?

Answer. No. Lawyers should be thought of as preventers of legal problems, not just solvers. When dealing with legal issues, an ounce of prevention is worth many dollars and anxious hours of cure. Once you have determined that you need professional legal help, get it promptly. You can get the most help if you are in touch with a lawyer as soon as possible.

What exactly is a lawyer?

Answer. A lawyer (also called attorney, counsel, counselor, barrister, or solicitor) is a licensed professional who advises and represents others in legal matters. When you picture a lawyer, you probably think of an elderly gentleman in a three–piece suit. That picture is no longer accurate. Today’s lawyers can be young or old, male or female. Nearly one–third of all lawyers are under thirty–five. Almost half the law students today are women, and women will probably ultimately be as numerous in the profession as men.

Are most of a lawyer’s time usually spent arguing cases in court?

Answer. No. A lawyer normally spends more time in an office than in a courtroom. The practice of law most often involves researching legal developments, investigating facts, writing and preparing legal documents, giving advice, and settling disputes. Laws change constantly. The new law is enacted and prior law is amended and repealed. In addition, judicial decisions in court cases regularly alter what the law currently means, whether the source of law in the United States Constitution or a state constitution; federal or state statutes; or federal, state, and local codes and regulations. For these reasons, a lawyer must put much time into knowing how the laws and the changes will affect each circumstance.

What are a lawyer’s main duties?

Answer. A lawyer has two main duties: to uphold the law and to protect a client’s rights. To carry out these duties, a lawyer must know the law and be a good communicator.

What are the professional requirements for becoming a lawyer?

Answer. To understand how laws and the legal system work together, lawyers must go through special schooling. Each state has enacted standards that must be met before a person is licensed to practice law there. Before being allowed to practice law in most states, a person must:

have a bachelor’s degree or its equivalent;

complete three years at an accredited law school;

pass a state bar examination, which usually lasts for two or three days; it tests knowledge in selected areas of law and in professional ethics and responsibility;

pass a character and fitness review; each applicant for a law license must be approved by a committee that investigates his or her character and background;

take an oath swearing to uphold the laws and the state and federal constitutions;

receive a license from the state supreme court; some states have additional requirements, such as an internship in a law office, before a license will be granted.

Once licensed in one state, is a lawyer automatically allowed to practice law in all states?

Answer. No. To become licensed in more than one state, a lawyer must usually comply with each state bar admission requirements. Some states, however, permit licensed out–of–state attorneys to practice law if they have done so in another state for several years and the new state’s supreme court approves them.

If I have a legal problem, may I hire someone other than a lawyer?

Answer. In some specialized situations, such as bringing a complaint before a government agency, nonlawyers or paralegals may be qualified to represent you—and their services may cost less than a lawyer’s. Ask the government agency what types of legal representatives are available.

I come from another country, and I need to hire a lawyer. Aren’t notary publics actually lawyers?

Answer. A “notary public,” “accountant,” or “certified public accountant” is not necessarily a lawyer. Do not assume that titles such as notary public mean the same thing as similar words in your own language.

Types of Lawyers

Do lawyers normally work alone or do most of them work for companies or the government?

Answer. About two-thirds of all lawyers are in private practice; many others work for corporations or the government. Firms of various sizes employ lawyers in private practice. Almost half of the lawyers in private practice are sole practitioners who work alone. Others join with one or more lawyers in partnerships. As the table shows, about a quarter of lawyers are in partnerships that have ten lawyers or fewer. Private Practitioners (1995) Total practitioners: 634,475 Population/practitioner ratio: 410/1 Practitioners by Practice Setting and Sex Source: The Lawyer Statistical Report: The U.S. Legal Population in 1995 (Chicago: American BarFoundation, 1999)

How are lawyers split between rural and metropolitan areas?

Answer. 88 percent of American lawyers work in metropolitan areas, and about one-third of all lawyers work in large cities. Especially in rural areas and small cities, there are many general practitioners who, by themselves or with the help of other lawyers, handle most types of cases. However, the family lawyer/general practice lawyer is becoming harder to find.

In what areas of practice do lawyers normally concentrate?

Answer. Most lawyers concentrate on one or a few specific areas, such as domestic relations, criminal law, personal injury, estate planning and administration, real estate, taxation, immigration, and intellectual property law (see chart).

Areas of Legal Practice

Business Law

Advising about starting a new business (corporation, partnership, etc.), general corporate matters, business taxation, and mergers and acquisitions

Criminal Law

Defending or prosecuting those accused of committing a crimes

Domestic Relations

Representing individuals in separation, annulment, divorce, and child custody matters

Estate Planning

Advising clients in property management, drawing wills, probate, and estate planning

Immigration

Representing parties in proceedings involving naturalization and citizenship

Intellectual Property Law

Dealing with issues concerning trademarks, copyright regulations, and patents

Labor Law

Advising and representing employers, unions and employees on questions of union organizing, workplace safety, and compliance with government regulations

Personal Injury

Representing clients injured intentionally or negligently, and those with workers’ compensation claims

Real Estate

Assisting clients in developing property; re-zoning; and buying, selling, or renting homes or other property

Taxation

Counseling businesss and individuals in local, state, and federal tax matters

Looking for a Lawyer

How do I go about choosing a lawyer?

Answer. The lawyer will be helping you solve your problems, so you must feel comfortable enough to tell him or her, honestly and completely, all the facts necessary to resolve your problem. No one you listen to and nothing you read will tell you which particular lawyer will be the best for you; you must judge that for yourself. Most lawyers will meet with you briefly to “get acquainted,” allowing you to talk with your prospective lawyer before making a final hiring decision. In many cases, there is no fee charged for an initial consultation. However, don’t assume that an initial consultation is free. To be on the safe side, ask about fees before setting up your consultation appointment.

Are there any practical considerations to keep in mind when choosing a lawyer?

Answer. Yes, the lawyer’s area of expertise and prior experience are important. Eighteen states have specialization programs that certify lawyers as specialists in certain stated types of law. These states are Alabama, Arizona, California, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas. To find out which areas are certified in which states, access the ABA’s specialization guidelines. In states without certification programs, you may want to ask about your lawyer’s areas of concentration. You also may wish to ask about the type of cases your lawyer generally handles. Other considerations are the convenience of the lawyer’s office location, the number of fees charged, and the length of time a case may take. Although they are not always wise guidelines, consider your personal preferences about the lawyer’s age, gender, and personality. These preferences may guide you in locating someone with whom you feel most comfortable.

Where should I start to look for a lawyer?

Answer. There are many sources for finding a reliable lawyer. Some of the best are recommendations from trusted friends, relatives, or business associates. Be aware that each legal case is different and that a lawyer who is right for someone else may not suit you or your legal problem.

Are advertisements a good place to look for a lawyer?

Answer. In some ways, yes, ads are useful. However, always be careful about believing everything you read and hear—and nowhere is this truer than with advertisements. Still, newspaper, telephone directory, radio, and television ads, along with direct mail, can make you familiar with the names of lawyers who may be appropriate for your legal needs. Some ads also will help you determine a lawyer’s area of expertise. Other ads will quote a fee or price range for handling a specific type of “simple” case. Keep in mind that the lawyer may not be a “specialist” in the advertised field and that your case may not have a simple solution. If a lawyer quotes a fee, be certain you know exactly what services the charge does and does not include.

What about a local referral service?

Answer. Most communities have referral services to help the public find lawyers. These services usually recommend a lawyer in the area to evaluate a situation—sometimes at a reduced cost. Several services offer help to groups with unique characteristics, such as the elderly, immigrants, victims of domestic violence, or persons with a disability. Bar associations in most communities make referrals according to specific areas of law, helping you find a lawyer with the right concentration. Many referral services also have competency requirements for lawyers who wish to have referrals in a particular area of law. Still, these services are not always a surefire way to find the “right” or even a “good” lawyer for you, since some services make referrals without concern for the lawyer’s type or level of experience. In the end, you must make your own decision in order to feel confident about your selection. To contact a referral service, look under any local or state bar association website listing, or access this directory for a list of more than 25,000 lawyers who offer free consultations across the country,

My new job offers a pre-paid legal services plan. What can I expect?

Answer. Legal services, like many other things, are often less expensive when bought in bulk. Employers, labor and credit unions, and other groups have formed “legal insurance” plans. Many plans cover most, if not all, the costs of legal consultation, document preparation, and court representation in routine legal matters. Other programs cover only advice and consultation with a lawyer. Before joining a legal plan, make sure you are familiar with its coverage and know whether you will be required to make out–of–pocket contributions. These group plans follow the same pattern as a group or cooperative medical insurance plan. Employers or unions set up a fund to pay the employees’ legal fees, just as they contribute to group insurance plans to cover medical costs. Legal group plans have become much more widespread in recent years. Some retail department stores and credit card companies even offer such plans to their customers.

I have heard about legal clinics, but I am not sure if I can use their services. What kind of help do they offer?

Answer. Legal clinics primarily process routine, uncomplicated legal business. They generally use standard forms and paralegal assistants. Paralegals are those who have received special basic legal training and have learned skills through their jobs. These clinics often charge less than traditional law firms for their services. They mainly work on wills, personal bankruptcy, divorces, and traffic offenses.

I may want to hire a lawyer, but I do not have much money. Where can I find low-cost legal help?

Answer. People do not have a right to a free lawyer in civil legal matters (they do in most criminal cases). However, several legal assistance programs offer inexpensive or free legal services to those in need. Most legal aid programs have special guidelines for eligibility, often based on where you live, the size of your family, and your income. Some legal aid offices have their own staff lawyers, and others operate with volunteer lawyers. To find free or reduced–cost legal services in your area, call your bar association or the county courthouse. You also may look in the telephone book’s yellow pages under “Legal Aid,” “Legal Assistance,” or “Legal Services.” Sometimes the telephone book will list a legal aid office under “Lawyers” or “Attorneys.”

I have been accused of a crime, and I cannot afford a lawyer. What can I do?

Answer. If the government accuses you of committing a crime, the United States Constitution guarantees you the right to be represented by a lawyer in any case in which you could be incarcerated for six months or more. If you cannot afford a lawyer, the judge handling the case will either appoint a private lawyer to represent you free of charge or the government’s public defender will handle your case, also at no charge.

Besides court-appointed defenders, is there any other form of government assistance available?

Answer. Departments and agencies of both the state and federal governments often have staff lawyers who can help the general public in limited situations, without charge. The United States Attorney’s Office might be able to provide guidance about federal laws. It also might guide you to federal agencies that deal with specific concerns, such as environmental protection problems and discrimination in employment or housing. The state attorney general also may provide guidance to the public on state laws, without charge. Some states, for example, maintain consumer protection departments as a function of the attorney general’s office. Similarly, counties, cities, and townships often have staff lawyers who may provide the public with guidance about local laws. Some of these local offices also offer consumer protection assistance through their law departments. However, government lawyers may not, at the government’s expense, advice or represent anyone in private legal matters.

Questions to Ask a Lawyer

How will I determine whether I want to hire a specific lawyer?

Answer. Many lawyers are willing to meet with you briefly without charge so the two of you can get acquainted. During (or soon after) this first meeting, you can decide whether you want to hire that lawyer. Many people feel nervous or intimidated when meeting lawyers, but remember that you are the one doing the hiring, and what’s most important is that you are satisfied with what you’re getting for your money. Before you make any hiring decisions, you might want to ask certain questions to aid in your evaluation.

Have Faith

It is important that you trust the lawyer you hire, believing that he or she will do the best job possible in protecting your legal rights. However, remember that lawyers cannot work magic. No lawyer can be expected to win every case, and the best legal advice may turn out to be not exactly what you wanted to hear.

What sort of questions should I ask?

Answer. Ask about the lawyer’s experience and areas of practice. How long has the lawyer and the firm been practicing law? What kinds of legal problems does the lawyer handle most often? Are most clients individuals or businesses?

Is it proper to ask the lawyer if anyone else will be working on my case?

Answer. Since you are the one paying the bill, it is well within your rights. Ask if nonlawyers, such as paralegals or law clerks, will be used in researching or preparing the case. If so, will there be separate charges for their services? Who will be consulted if the lawyer is unsure about some aspects of your case? Will the lawyer recommend another attorney or firm if this one is unable to handle your case?

I met with a lawyer who referred me to another lawyer. Should I be angry?

Answer. Probably not. Occasionally, a lawyer will suggest that someone else in the same firm or an outside lawyer handle your specific problem. Perhaps the original lawyer is too busy to give your case the full attention it deserves. Maybe your problem requires another’s expertise. No one likes to feel that a lawyer is shifting him or her to another attorney. However, most reassignments within firms occur for a good reason. Do not hesitate to request a meeting with the new attorney to make sure you are comfortable with him or her.

What, in particular, should I ask about fees and costs?

Answer. How are fees charged—by the hour, by the case, or by the amount won? About how much money will be required to handle the case from start to finish? When must you pay the bill? Can you pay for it in installments? Ask for a written statement showing specific services rendered and the charge for each.

When I first meet with my prospective lawyer, should I ask about the possible outcome of the case?

Answer. Certainly, but beware of any lawyer who guarantees a big settlement or assures a victory in court. Remember that there are at least two sides to every legal issue and many factors can affect its resolution. Ask for the lawyer’s opinion of your case’s strengths and weaknesses. Will the lawyer most likely settle your case out of court or is it likely that the case will go to trial? What are the advantages and disadvantages of a settlement? Of going to trial? What kind of experience does the lawyer have in trial work? If you lose at the trial, will the lawyer be willing to appeal the decision?

Should I ask if and how I can help with my case?

Answer. Yes. It is often in your interest to participate actively in your case. When you hire a lawyer, you are paying for legal advice. Your lawyer should make no major decision about whether and how to go on with the case without your permission. Pay special attention to whether the lawyer seems willing and able to explain the case to you and answers your questions clearly and completely. Also, ask what information will be supplied to you. How, and how often, will the lawyer keep you informed about the progress of your case? Will the lawyer send you copies of any of the documents that have to do with your case? Can you help keep fees down by gathering documents or otherwise assisting the effort?

During our first meeting, should I ask what will happen if the lawyer and I disagree?

Answer. Yes, your first meeting is the best time to ask about resolving potential problems. Find out if the lawyer will agree to binding arbitration if a serious dispute arises between the two of you. Most state bar associations have arbitration committees that, for a fee, will settle disputes that you and your lawyer may have, say over expenses. By agreeing to binding arbitration, both you and the lawyer consent to present your cases to an outside panel and abide by its decision.

Legal Fees and Expenses

How can I be sure that my lawyer will not overcharge me?

Answer. The fee charged by an attorney should be reasonable from an objective point of view. The fee should be tied to specific services rendered, time invested, and level of expertise provided. There are some broad guidelines to help in evaluating whether a particular fee is reasonable:

the time and work required by the lawyer and any assistants, and the difficulty of the legal issues presented;

how much other lawyers in the area charge for similar work;

the total value of the claim or settlement and the results of the case;

whether the lawyer has worked for that client before;

the lawyer’s experience, reputation, and ability; and

the amount of other work the lawyer had to turn down to take on a particular case.

Talk About Fees

Although money is often a touchy subject in our society, fees and other charges should be discussed with your lawyer early. You can avoid future problems by having a clear understanding of the fees to be charged and getting that understanding in writing before any legal work has started. If the fee is to be charged on an hourly basis, insist on a complete itemized list and an explanation of charges each time the lawyer bills you. Legal advice is not cheap. A bill from a lawyer for preparing a one–page legal document or providing basic advice may surprise some clients. Remember that when you hire a lawyer, you are paying for his or her expertise and time.

Someone said that I should ask my lawyer to use the billing method that is based on contingent fees. What does this mean?

Answer. A client pays a contingent fee to a lawyer only if the lawyer handles a case successfully. Lawyers and clients use this arrangement only in cases where the money is being claimed—most often in cases involving personal injury or workers’ compensation. Many states strictly forbid this billing method in criminal cases and in most cases involving domestic (i.e., family) relations. In a contingent fee arrangement, the lawyer agrees to accept a fixed percentage (often one third) of the recovery, which is the amount finally paid to the client. If you win the case, the lawyer’s fee comes out of the money awarded to you. If you lose, neither you nor the lawyer will get any money, but you will not be required to pay your attorney for the work done on the case. On the other hand, win or lose, you probably will have to pay court filing fees, the costs related to deposing witnesses, and similar charges. By entering into a contingent fee agreement, both you and your lawyer expect to collect some unknown amount of money. Because many personal injury actions involve considerable and often complicated investigation and work by a lawyer, this may be less expensive than paying an hourly rate. You should clearly understand your options before entering into a contingency fee agreement, which is a contract in itself.

Are all contingent fee arrangements the same?

Answer. No. An important consideration is whether or not the lawyer deducts the costs and expenses from the amount won before or after you pay the lawyer’s percentage. Example: Joe hires Ernie Attorney to represent him, agreeing that Ernie will receive one-third of the final amount—in this case, $12,000. If Joe pays Ernie his fee before expenses, the fee will be calculated as follows: $12,000 Total amount recovered in case -$4,000 One third for Ernie Attorney $8,000 Balance -2,100 Payment for expenses and costs $5,900 Amount that Joe recovers If Joe pays Ernie after other legal expenses and costs, the fee will be calculated as follows: $12,000 Total amount recovered in case – 2,100 Payment for expenses and costs $9,900 Balance -3,300 (One–third for Ernie Attorney) $6,600 Amount that Joe recovers The above figures show that Joe will collect an additional seven–hundred dollars if the agreement provides that Ernie Attorney collects his share after Joe pays the other legal expenses. Many lawyers prefer to be paid before they subtract the expenses, but the point is often negotiable. Of course, these matters should be settled before you hire a lawyer. If you agree to pay a contingency fee, your lawyer should provide a written explanation of this agreement that clearly states how he or she will deduct costs.

If my lawyer and I agree to a contingent fee arrangement, shouldn’t the method of settling my case affect the amount of my lawyer’s fee?

Answer. Yes, but only if both of you agree beforehand. Lawyers settle most personal injury cases through negotiations with insurance companies; such cases rarely require a trial in court. If the lawyer settles the case before going to trial, this requires less legal work. You can try to negotiate an agreement in which the lawyer accepts a lower percentage if he or she settles the case easily and quickly or before a lawsuit is filed in court, though many good lawyers might not agree to those terms.

What billing method do most lawyers use?

Answer. The most common billing method is to charge a set amount for each hour of the time the lawyer works on your case. The method for determining what is a “reasonable” hourly fee depends on several things. More experienced lawyers tend to charge more per hour than those with less experience—but they also may take less time to do the same legal work. In addition, the same lawyer will usually charge more for time spent in the courtroom than for hours spent in the office or library.

Types of Fees and Expenses

The method used to charge fees is one of the things to consider in deciding if a fee is reasonable. You should understand the different charging methods before you make any hiring decision. At your first meeting, the lawyer should estimate how much the total case will cost and inform you of the method he or she will use to charge for the work. As with any bill, you should not pay without first getting an explanation for any charges you do not understand. Remember, not all costs can be estimated exactly because of unforeseen developments during the course of your case.

A friend suggested that I might want to have a lawyer “on retainer.” What does this mean?

Answer. A retainer fee is a set amount of money paid regularly to make sure that a lawyer will be available for any necessary legal service you might require. Businesses and people who routinely have a lot of legal work use retainers. By paying a retainer, a client receives routine consultations and general legal advice whenever needed. If a legal matter requires courtroom time or many hours of work, the client may need to pay more than the retainer amount. Retainer agreements should always be in writing. Most people do not see a lawyer regularly and do not need to pay a retainer fee. Sometimes, however, a lawyer will ask the client to pay some money in advance before any legal work will be done. Although often called a “retainer,” this money is really a down payment that will be applied toward the total fee billed.

I saw an advertisement from a law firm that charges fixed fees for specific types of work. What does this involve?

Answer. A fixed fee is an amount that will be charged for routine legal work. In a few situations, this amount may be set by law or by the judge handling the case. Since advertising by lawyers is becoming more popular, you are likely to see ads offering: “Simple Divorce—$150″ or “Bankruptcy—from $50.” Do not assume that these prices will be the amount of your final bill. The advertised price often does not include court costs and other expenses.

Does the lawyer’s billing method influence the other costs and expenses that I might have to pay?

Answer. No. Some costs and expenses will be charged regardless of the billing method. The court clerk’s office charges a fee for filing the complaint or petition that begins a legal action. The sheriff’s office charges a fee for serving a legal summons. Your lawyer must pay for postage, copying documents, telephone calls, and the advice or testimony of some types of expert witnesses such as doctors. These expenses, often called “costs,” may not be part of a legal fee, and you may have to pay them regardless of the fee arrangement you use. Your lawyer will usually pay these costs as needed, billing you at regular intervals or at the close of your case.

What are referral fees?

Answer. If you go to “Lawyer A,” he or she may be unable to help but refers you instead to “Lawyer B, “at another law firm, who has more experience in handling your kind of case. In return for the referral, Lawyer A will sometimes ask to be paid part of the total fee arrangement you pay to Lawyer B. The law may prohibit this type of fee, especially if it increases the final amount to be paid by a client. The ethical rules for lawyers in most states specify that two lawyers may not divide a client’s fee unless:

the client knows about the arrangement;

both lawyers do some actual “work” on the case;

they divide the fee to show how much work each lawyer did; and

the total bill is reasonable.

If one lawyer refers you to another, ask whether there will be a referral fee and, if so, ask about the specifics of the agreement between the lawyers.

Should I “shop around” for the cheapest lawyer I can find?

Answer. With legal advice, as with other products and services, you often get what you pay for. Although you should not expect to get good legal advice without paying for it, you should not pay for anything that you don’t actually receive. After you and your lawyer have discussed fees, make sure to follow through by examining each bill carefully. If you feel that any charge is too high or if you do not understand a billed item, ask your lawyer to explain it before you pay.

Is there anything I can do to reduce my legal costs?

Answer. Yes, there are several cost–cutting methods available to you. First, answer all your lawyer’s questions fully and honestly. Not only will you feel better but you also will save on legal fees. If you tell your lawyer all the facts as you know them, it will save time that might be spent on the particular case and will help your lawyer do a better job. Remember that the ethics of the profession bind your lawyer to maintain in the strictest confidence almost anything you reveal during your private discussions. You should feel free to tell your lawyer the complete details in your case, even those that embarrass you. It is particularly important to tell your lawyer facts about your case that reflect poorly on you. These will almost certainly come out if your case goes to trial.

Should I wait for my lawyer to say what he or she needs from me?

Answer. No, some things should be obvious to you. Before the first meeting with your lawyer, think about your legal problem and how you would like it resolved. If your case involves other people, write down their names, addresses, and telephone numbers. Also, jot down any specific facts or dates you think might be important and any questions you want an answer. Bring the information with you to the first meeting, along with any relevant documents such as contracts or leases. By being organized, you will save time and money.

If something related to my case has occurred, should I wait until my next scheduled meeting to tell my lawyer about it?

Answer. No, situations can vary from one day to the next. Tell your lawyer immediately of changes that might be important to your case. It might mean that the lawyer will have to take a totally different action—or no action at all—in your case. This could greatly affect your lawyer’s fee.

Can I reduce my legal costs if I get more involved in my case?

Answer. Sometimes. Stay informed and ask for copies of important documents related to your case. Let your lawyer know if you are willing to help out, such as by picking up or delivering documents or by making a few telephone calls. You should not interfere with your lawyer’s work. However, you might be able to move your case quicker, reduce your legal costs, and keep yourself better informed by doing some of the work yourself. Discuss this with your lawyer.

What to Do if Your Lawyer Does Not Satisfy You

Expectation About Your Lawyer

When you agree to hire a lawyer and that lawyer agrees to be your legal representative, a two–way relationship begins in which you both have the same goal—to reach a satisfactory resolution to a legal matter. To reach this end, each of you must act responsibly toward the other. In a lawyer/client relationship, acting responsibly involves duties on both sides—and often involves some hard work. You have a right to expect competent representation from your lawyer. However, every lawsuit has at least two sides. You cannot always blame your lawyer if your case does not turn out the way you thought it would. If you are unhappy with your lawyer, it is important to determine the reasons. If, after a realistic look, you still believe that you have a genuine complaint about your legal representation, there are several things you can do. The accompanying questions and answers discuss your alternatives.

I lost my case, and I still had to pay my lawyer’s bill along with costs and expenses. I am not very happy with my lawyer. What can I do?

Answer. First, talk with your lawyer. A lack of communication causes many problems. If your lawyer appears to have acted improperly or did not do something that you think he or she should have done, talk with your lawyer about it. You may be satisfied once you understand the circumstances better.

I have tried to talk to my lawyer. However, my lawyer will not discuss it. Do I have any alternatives?

Answer. Yes. If your lawyer is unwilling to discuss your complaints, consider taking your legal affairs to another lawyer. You decide whom to hire (and fire) as your lawyer. When you fire a lawyer, you may be charged a reasonable amount for the work already done. Most documents relating to the case are yours—ask for them. In some states, however, a lawyer may have some rights to a file until the client pays a reasonable amount for work done on the case.

What if I feel that my lawyer has acted unethically?

Answer. How a lawyer should act, in both professional and private life, is controlled by the rules of professional conduct in the state or states where he or she is licensed to practice. These rules are usually by the state supreme court through its disciplinary board. These codes consist of rules that describe generally how lawyers should strive to improve the legal profession and uphold the laws. They also give more detailed rules of conduct for specific situations (see below). If a lawyer’s conduct falls below the standards set out in the codes, he or she can be disciplined by being “censured” or “reprimanded” (publicly or privately criticized), “suspended” (having the license to practice law taken away for a certain time), or “disbarred” (having the law license taken away indefinitely). The law sets out punishments for anyone who breaks civil and criminal laws, and that includes lawyers. But because of the special position of trust and confidence involved in a lawyer/client relationship, lawyers may also be punished for things which are not unlawful—such as telling others confidential information about a client or representing clients whose interests are in conflict.

What are some specific examples of the ethical duties of lawyers?

Answer. Among the highest responsibilities a lawyer has is his or her obligation to a client. A number of strict rules and common sense guidelines define these responsibilities.

Competence. This requires the lawyer’s ability to analyze legal issues; research and study changing laws and legal trends; and otherwise, represent the client effectively and professionally.

Following the client’s decisions. A lawyer should advise a client of possible actions to be taken in a case and then act according to the client’s choice of action—even if the lawyer might have picked a different route. One of the few exceptions is a client asking for a lawyer’s help in doing something illegal such as lying in court or in a legal document. In these cases, the lawyer is required to inform the client of the legal effect of any planned wrongdoing and refuse to assist with it.

Diligence. Every lawyer must act carefully and in a timely manner in handling a client’s legal problem. Unnecessary delays can often damage a case. If, because of overwork or any other reason, a lawyer is unable to spend the required time and energy on a case, the lawyer should refuse from the beginning to take the case.

Communication. A lawyer must be able to communicate effectively with a client. When a client asks for an explanation, the lawyer must provide it within a reasonable time. A lawyer must inform a client about changes in a case caused by time and circumstances.

Fees. The amount the lawyer charges for legal work must be reasonable, and the client should be told the specifics of all charges.

Confidentiality. With few exceptions, a lawyer may generally not tell anyone else what a client reveals about a case. The reason for this strict rule is to enable a client to discuss case details openly and honestly with a lawyer, even if those details reveal embarrassing or damaging information about the client. A rule called the “attorney/client privilege” helps protect confidential information from being disclosed. Ask your lawyer to explain the privilege to you.

Conflicts of interest. A lawyer must be loyal to his or her client. This means that a lawyer cannot represent two clients who are on opposite sides in the same or related lawsuits unless both clients give permission. And ordinarily, there can be no representation of a client whose interests would conflict with the lawyer’s interests. For example, a lawyer may not be involved in writing a will for a client who leaves the lawyer money or property in that will.

Keeping clients’ property. If a lawyer is holding a client’s money or property, it must be kept safely and separately from the lawyer’s own funds and belongings. When a client asks for the property, the lawyer must return it immediately and in good condition. The lawyer must also keep careful records of money received for a client and, if asked, report that amount promptly and accurately.

A Client’s Responsibilities

As in any successful relationship, a good lawyer/client relationship involves cooperation on both sides. As a client, you should do all you can to make sure you get the best possible legal help. This includes:

Being honest. Be honest in telling all the facts to your lawyer. Remind yourself of important points or questions by writing them down before talking with your lawyer.

Notifying the lawyer of changes. Tell the lawyer promptly about any changes or new information you learn which may affect your case. This responsibility is a broad one and covers things from a change of your address or telephone number to let your lawyer know if and why you are unhappy with his or her work.

Asking for clarification. If you have any questions or are confused about something in your case, ask the lawyer for an explanation. This may go a long way toward putting your mind at ease—and will also help your lawyer do a better job of handling your case.

Being realistic. A lawyer can only handle your legal affairs. You may need the help of another professional—banker, family counselor, accountant, or psychologist, for example—for problems that have no “legal” solution. After you have hired a lawyer you trust, do not forget about that trust. The lawyer’s judgments are based on experience and training. Also, keep in mind that most legal matters cannot be resolved overnight. Give the system time to work.

Paying. A client has the duty to promptly pay a fair and reasonable price for legal services. In fact, when a client fails to pay, in some situations the lawyer may have the right to stop working on the case. Still, the lawyer must then do whatever is reasonably possible to prevent the client’s case from being harmed.

I am upset with the way my lawyer handled my case. Can I file a complaint?

Answer. Yes. As noted above, lawyers can be disciplined for violating ethical guidelines.

Where can I file a complaint against my lawyer?

Answer. If you believe you have a valid complaint about how your lawyer has handled your case, inform the organization that grants or withholds licenses to practice law in your state. Usually, this is the disciplinary board of the state supreme court. You’ll find it under the government listings for your state. You can also obtain its location from the local bar association. Or access a listing of lawyer disciplinary agencies here.

StateNameAddressPhoneWebsite ALABAMAGeneral Counsel Alabama State Bar Center for Professional Responsibility415 Dexter Avenue Montgomery, AL 36104Toll-Free LocalWebsite ALASKABar Counsel Alaska Bar AssociationPost Office Box 100279 Anchorage, AK 99510-0279LocalWebsite ARIZONAChief Bar Counsel State Bar of Arizona4201 North 24th Street, Suite 100 Phoenix, AZ 85016-6266Toll-Free LocalWebsite ARKANSASDirector & Chief Disciplinary Counsel Committee on Professional Conduct2100 Riverfront Drive, Suite 200 Little Rock, AR 72202-1747Local Toll-FreeWebsite CALIFORNIAChief Trial Counsel State Bar of California1149 South Hill Street, 10th Floor Los Angeles, CA 90015-2299Toll-Free LocalWebsite CALIFORNIAState Bar of California180 Howard Street, 6th Floor San Francisco, CA 94105-1639Local COLORADOOffice of Attorney Regulation Counsel1300 Broadway, Suite 500 Denver, CO 80203Toll-Free LocalWebsite CONNECTICUTChief Disciplinary Counsel Statewide Grievance Committee100 Washington Street Hartford, CT 06106LocalWebsite DELAWAREDelaware Office of Disciplinary Counsel820 North French Street, 11th Floor Wilmington, DE 19801LocalWebsite DISTRICT OF COLUMBIADistrict of Columbia Office of Bar Counsel515 5th Street, NW Building A, Room 117 Washington, DC 20001LocalWebsite FLORIDADirector of Lawyer Regulation The Florida Bar651 East Jefferson Street Tallahassee, FL 32399-2300Toll-Free LocalWebsite GEORGIAGeneral Counsel State Bar of Georgia104 Marietta Street NW, Suite 100 Atlanta, GA 30303Toll-Free LocalWebsite HAWAI’IDisciplinary Board of the Hawai’i Supreme Court Office of Disciplinary Counsel1132 Bishop Street, Suite 300 Honolulu, HI 96813LocalWebsite IDAHOBar Counsel Idaho State BarPost Office Box 895 Boise, ID 83701LocalWebsite ILLINOIS - (CHICAGO AND NORTHERN ILLINOIS)Administrator Illinois Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission130 East Randolph Street, Suite 1500 Chicago, IL 60601-6219Toll-Free LocalWebsite ILLINOIS - (CENTRAL AND SOUTHERN ILLINOIS)Illinois Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission3161 West White Oaks Drive, Suite 301 Springfield, IL 62704Toll-Free LocalN/A INDIANAExecutive Secretary Indiana Supreme Court Disciplinary Commission30 South Meridian Street, Suite 850 Indianapolis, IN 46204LocalWebsite IOWAAssistant Director for Attorney Regulation Iowa Supreme Court Office of Professional Regulation1111 East Court Avenue Des Moines, IA 50319LocalWebsite KANSASDisciplinary Administrator Kansas Disciplinary Administrator Office701 SW Jackson, 1st Floor Topeka, KS 66603LocalWebsite KENTUCKYChief Bar Counsel Kentucky Bar Association514 West Main Street Frankfort, KY 40601-1883LocalWebsite LOUISIANAOffice of the Disciplinary Counsel4000 South Sherwood Forest Blvd., Suite 607 Baton Rouge, LA 70816Toll-Free LocalWebsite MAINEBar Counsel Maine Board of Overseers of the Bar97 Winthrop Street Post Office Box 527 Augusta, ME 04332-0527LocalWebsite MARYLANDBar Counsel Attorney Grievance Commission of Maryland100 Community Place, Suite 3301 Crownsville, MD 21032-2027LocalWebsite MASSACHUSETTSOffice of the Bar Counsel99 High Street Boston, MA 02110LocalWebsite MICHIGANGrievance Administrator Michigan Attorney Grievance Commission535 Griswold, Suite 1700 Detroit, MI 48226LocalWebsite MICHIGANExecutive Director & General Counsel Attorney Disciplinary Board211 West Fort Street, Suite 1410 Detroit, MI 48226-3236LocalWebsite MINNESOTADirector Minnesota Office of Professional Responsibility1500 Landmark Towers 345 St. Peter Street St. Paul, MN 55102-1218Toll-Free LocalWebsite MISSISSIPPIGeneral Counsel Mississippi State Bar643 North State Street Jackson, MS 39202LocalWebsite MISSOURIMissouri Supreme Court Office of Chief Disciplinary Counsel3335 American Avenue Jefferson City, MO 65109-1079LocalWebsite MONTANADisciplinary CounselPost Office Box 1099 Helena, MT 59624-1099Toll-Free LocalWebsite NEBRASKACounsel for Discipline Nebraska Supreme Court3808 Normal Blvd. Lincoln, NE 68506LocalWebsite NEVADABar Counsel State Bar of Nevada600 East Charleston Blvd. Las Vegas, NV 89104Toll-Free LocalWebsite NEW HAMPSHIREDisciplinary Counsel New Hampshire Supreme Court Attorney Discipline Office4 Chenell Drive, Suite 102 Concord, NH 03301LocalWebsite NEW JERSEYChief Counsel Office of Attorney Ethics Supreme Court of New JerseyPost Office Box 963 Trenton, NJ 08625LocalWebsite NEW MEXICOChief Disciplinary Counsel Disciplinary Board of the Supreme Court of New MexicoPost Office Box 1809 Albuquerque, NM 87103-1809LocalWebsite NEW YORK CITY 1st DepartmentChief Counsel First Judicial Department Departmental Disciplinary Committee61 Broadway, 2nd Floor New York, NY 10006LocalWebsite NEW YORK CITY 2nd DepartmentChief Counsel Grievance Committee for the Second, Eleventh, and Thirteenth Judicial DistrictsRenaissance Plaza 335 Adams Street, Suite 2400 Brooklyn, NY 11201-3745LocalWebsite NEW YORK STATE 2nd DepartmentChief Counsel Grievance Committee for the Ninth Judicial District399 Knoll wood Road, Suite 200 White Plains, NY 10603LocalWebsite NEW YORK STATE 2nd DepartmentChief Counsel Grievance Committee for the Tenth Judicial District150 Motor Parkway, Suite 102 Hauppauge, NY 11788LocalWebsite NEW YORK STATE 3rd DepartmentChief Attorney Third Judicial Department Committee on Professional Standards40 Steuben Street, Suite 502 Albany, NY 12207-2109LocalWebsite NEW YORK STATE 4th DepartmentChief Counsel Grievance Committee for the Fifth Judicial District224 Harrison Street, Suite 408 Syracuse, NY 13202-3066LocalWebsite NEW YORK STATE 4th DepartmentChief Counsel Grievance Committee for the Seventh Judicial District50 East Avenue, Suite 404 Rochester, NY 14604-2206LocalWebsite NEW YORK STATE 4th DepartmentChief Counsel Grievance Committee for the Eighth Judicial District438 Main Street, Suite 800 Buffalo, NY 14202-3212LocalWebsite NORTH CAROLINACounsel North Carolina State BarPost Office Box 25908 Raleigh, NC 27611-5908LocalWebsite NORTH DAKOTADisciplinary Board of the Supreme Court of North DakotaPost Office Box 2297 Bismarck, ND 58502-2297LocalWebsite OHIOOffice of the Disciplinary Counsel of the Supreme Court of Ohio250 Civic Center Drive, Suite 325 Columbus, OH 43215-7411Toll-Free LocalWebsite OHIOSecretary to the Board Board of Commissioners on Grievances & Discipline65 South Front Street, 5th Floor Columbus, OH 43215-3431LocalWebsite OHIOGrievance Director Akron Bar Association57 South Broadway Street Akron, OH 44308LocalWebsite OHIOGeneral Counsel Cincinnati Bar Association225 East 6th Street, 2nd Floor Cincinnati, OH 45202-3209LocalWebsite OHIOGeneral Counsel Cleveland Metropolitan Bar Association1301 East 9th Street, 2nd Level Cleveland, OH 44114–1253LocalWebsite OHIOBar Counsel Columbus Bar Association175 S. Third Street, Suite 1100 Columbus, OH 43215LocalWebsite OHIOAssistant Executive Director Dayton Bar Association109 North Main Street, Suite 600 Dayton, OH 45402–1129LocalWebsite OHIOBar Counsel The Toledo Bar Association311 N. Superior Street Toledo, OH 43604LocalWebsite OKLAHOMAGeneral Counsel Oklahoma Bar Association1901 North Lincoln Blvd. Post Office Box 53036 Oklahoma City, OK 73152–3036LocalWebsite OREGONDisciplinary Counsel Oregon State BarPost Office Box 231935 Tigard, OR 97281–1935Toll-Free LocalWebsite PENNSYLVANIAChief Disciplinary Counsel601 Commonwealth Ave, Suite 2700 Post Office Box 62485 Harrisburg, PA 17106–2485LocalWebsite RHODE ISLANDChief Disciplinary Counsel Disciplinary Board of the Supreme Court of Rhode IslandFogarty Judicial Annex 24 Weybosset Street, 2nd Floor Providence, RI 02903LocalWebsite SOUTH CAROLINAOffice of Disciplinary Counsel1015 Sumter Street Columbia, SC 29201LocalWebsite SOUTH DAKOTADisciplinary Board CounselPost Office Box 511 Beresford, SD 57004LocalWebsite TENNESSEEChief Disciplinary Counsel Board of Professional Responsibility of the Supreme Court of Tennessee10 Cadillac Drive, Suite 220 Brentwood, TN 37027Toll-Free LocalWebsite TEXASChief Disciplinary Counsel State Bar of TexasPost Office Box 12487 Austin, TX 78711Toll-Free LocalWebsite UTAHUtah State Bar Office of Professional Conduct645 South 200 East, Suite 205 Salt Lake City, UT 84111–3834LocalWebsite VERMONTDisciplinary Counsel Professional Conduct Board of the Supreme Court of Vermont32 Cherry Street, Suite 213 Burlington, VT 05401–7305LocalWebsite VIRGINIABar Counsel Virginia State BarEighth & Main Bldg. 707 East Main Street, Suite 1500 Richmond, VA 23219–2800LocalWebsite WASHINGTONChief Disciplinary Counsel Director of the Office of Disciplinary CounselWashington State Bar Association 1325 4th Avenue, Suite 600 Seattle, WA 98101–2539LocalWebsite WEST VIRGINIAChief Lawyer Disciplinary CounselOffice of Disciplinary Counsel 4700 MacCorkle Avenue SE, Suite 1200C Charleston, WV 25304LocalWebsite WISCONSINDirector Office of Lawyer Regulation110 East Main Street, Suite 315 Madison, WI 53703–3383Toll-Free LocalWebsite WYOMINGBar CounselWyoming State Bar 4124 Laramie Street Post Office Box 109 Cheyenne, WY 82003–0109LocalWebsite AMERICAN SAMOAAmerican Samoa Bar AssociationPost Office Box 23 Pago Pago, AS 96799N/AWebsite GUAMHearing Counsel Office of the Guam Bar Association Ethics ProsecutorGuam Judicial Center, 2nd Floor 120 West O’Brien Drive Hagatna, Guam 969104-5174N/AWebsite PUERTO RICOColegio de Abogados de Puerto RicoN/ALocalWebsite PUERTO RICOTribunal Supremo de Puerto Rico Department of JusticeN/ALocalWebsite US VIRGIN ISLANDSDisciplinary Counsel Office of Disciplinary CounselSupreme Court of the Virgin Islands Post Office Box 590 161 B Crown Bay Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas, VI 00802LocalWebsite

In some states, the state bar association handles lawyer discipline. The board or the bar will either investigate the complaint or refer you to someone who can help. If your complaint concerns the amount your lawyer charged, you may be referred to a state or local bar association’s fee arbitration service. Making a complaint of this sort may punish the lawyer for misconduct, but it will probably not help you recover any money. Filing a disciplinary complaint accusing your lawyer of unethical conduct is a serious matter to the lawyer. Try to resolve any differences or disputes directly with the lawyer before filing a complaint. If you have a case pending that your lawyer has mishandled, be sure to also protect your rights by taking steps to see that your case is now properly handled.

Then how can I get money to compensate me for my lawyer’s misconduct?

Answer. You will have to file a malpractice suit against your lawyer. The discussion on medical malpractice in the “Personal Injury” chapter will provide useful information on malpractice in general. You may also have the right to receive compensation from a client security fund.

My lawyer settled my case out of court and refuses to pay me my share of the settlement. What can I do about it?

Answer. If you believe that your lawyer has taken or improperly kept money or property that belongs to you, contact the state (or sometimes, local) “client security fund,” “client indemnity fund” or “client assistance fund.” The state or local bar association or the state supreme court disciplinary board can tell you how to contact the fund that serves you. Under any name, these funds may reimburse clients if a court has found that their lawyer has defrauded them. Lawyers pay fees to maintain such funds.

If I am having a problem with my lawyer, is there any reason that I would want to call the police?

Answer. Yes. If you believe that your lawyer has committed a crime such as stealing your money or property, you should report that crime to the police. This is the last resort that should be taken only when you feel certain of your position. However, if you are certain, do not feel intimidated because your complaint is against a lawyer.

Alternatives to Lawsuits

I am considering filing a lawsuit against someone. Is there anything I can do to avoid this?

Answer. Yes, you can try to negotiate. Before you even think of going to court, try to talk with the other person in the dispute. Most potential suits are settled long before they go to court. The next chapter discusses steps to take in settling your case. You can also explore other low–cost, informal alternatives that probably exist in your community—mediation, arbitration, and small claims court. The next chapter also provides practical information about each of these options.

Listen to the Other Person

Keep an open mind to possible solutions and listen to the other person’s side of the story. Remember that, with or without the help of lawyers, most people settle their legal disputes out of court.

I have already hired a lawyer and filed a lawsuit. Is it too late to negotiate a settlement?

Answer. No. It’s almost never too late to settle. Judges and lawyers encourage those involved in a lawsuit to reach an agreement between themselves. If you reach an agreement after filing your case, let the court know you have settled the matter, and the case will be removed from the court’s calendar. If you have hired a lawyer, he or she should do this.

After You Settle

It is important to get your settlement in writing, and it is best if you and the other person involved sign the final agreement. Suppose that, after filling a lawsuit, the two of you are able to work out the main problem such as who owes how much to whom. It still may be necessary to appear before a judge to determine a method or schedule of payment. It is usually best to get the advice of a lawyer about any settlement before you put it into writing and sign it.

Can my case be thrown out of court because it is too old?

Answer. Yes, every state has a time limit within which a case must be filed. The logic behind such limits, called statutes of limitations, is that most lawsuits are more easily and more fairly resolved within a short time. This is another reason that it is important to act as soon as you and your lawyer feel that you may have a valid legal claim. The time limits vary for different types of cases.

Where to Go for More Information

Practical Information About the Law.

There are many good sources of information about everyday law that will help you understand legal matters better and may give you a sense of your options. Many groups such as bar associations and consumer groups offer free or inexpensive brochures on various aspects of everyday law. A few of the many good practical law websites include:

The ABA’s Division for Public Education.

FindLaw provides a wide network of attorneys near you (Website)

For consumer issues, the Federal Trade Commission and the Better Business Bureau will be able to help.

For concerns of older persons, AARP.

For tax issues, the IRS.

Alternative Dispute Resolution

For information about mediation and arbitration in your community, you can perform a search on Google or contact your bar association or court system. For the leading provider on mediation and arbitration, services you can access JAMS.

To Complain About a Lawyer

Call you bar association, which will tell you how to proceed, which you can view above in our listing of lawyer disciplinary agency services in every state. Cited Sources: The ABA Legal Guide Originally published via When And How To Use A Lawyer When And How To Use a Lawyer published first on https://legalformsio.blogspot.com

[skiasurveys]

if you could have sex with any celebrity right now, who would it be? well he aint a celeb but an youtuber since i dont like celebrities..so maybe markiplier? if you had to have sex with one of your best friends who would it be? all of em ;) ever fallen in love with a friend?  well they all start off as friends did you end up getting together or not? nobody specif i mean my current bf and i were friends for  little while before we officalized it but it wasnt like we were just friends. ive never dated anyone where we were friends for a while then started to date.

if yes, how did you end up together? if no, why not? ^

have you ever been the other woman? No. we all have that one song that gets us pumped, what’s yours? i hate these questions cus i forget every song i know have you ever been to prom? did you have a good time? well we dont have prom in canada, well where i live but we did have a grad dance but i didnt go. But how my grad worked was we all got to dress up in nice dresses/tuxs for the dinner. so thats what i did. don’t you just hate it when someone is a boring texter? yES. usually i try to make a conversation.if they dont add i just stop texting. ever let someone use you knowing they were using you? Yep how many people have you slept with (sexually not actually sleeping)? one. how many of them were you actually in love with? one ever taken someone’s virginity? No. would you ever want to be with a virgin? if no, why not? no actually lol favorite song lyrics? i have lots but im too tired to think of em. do you constantly find yourself internet stalking your ex? no but sometimes i check their fb but like once in a blue moon. i dont care. if yes, how many times a day on average do you find yourself doing this? like i said, once in a blue moon. usually if im thinkin about them or something but last tme i checked was months ago cus i saw he got a new gf and i wanted to see what she looked like. and no not to be a dick either. so like, what’s your zodiac sign? Sagittarius 

what’s your favorite item of clothing you have & why? eh, nothing really. im bored of my clothes atm im in a desperate need to shop.. do you have anything to hide? my emotions are you friends with any of your exes? eh. not really. my one ex who always talked to me stopped texting me, thak fucking god it was so annoying.

given the chance would you take any of your exes back? No. do you have an addiction? to what? my phone do you like being taken or single more & why? taken. its just who i am i guess. i just like knowing i have someone there who i can be myself with and have a romantic relationship with.

being loud & obnoxious is fun huh? nope. do you feel like you’re sorta split personality? half & half? not really. I am just myself with people im comfortable with and then i have my professional self with work.etc lol do you act like your own gender or more like the opposite sex? wtf.. do you have more friends of the same sex or opposite? its kind of half and half.

blunts, bowls or bongs? eh. i smoked weed like 5 times soo.. favorite sexual position? idk. the one where he puts his dick in me

3 traits your dream partner would have? funny, loyal, empathetic  do you really care what people think of you? Yes when you have a fight with your partner what do you do? usually get worried that they might leave me cus im an insecure piece of shit, but we havent had a really bad fight, theres just been times where he is a dick. holiday closest to your birthday? christmas. scenario time.. you have a wedgie in public, you… fill in the blank. go to the wash room and fix who does the grocery shopping in your house? mom

are your parents still together? if no, do you wish they were? they would be if my dad didn’t die. have any siblings you know of but don’t actually know personally? no

greatest fear? losing someone i love again and suffocation something most people fear that you do not fear at all? spiders don’t you hate getting nice & comfy & then having to pee? yea  what do you think of porn & the people who watch it? i mean whatever, watch whatever but i just hate people who think that alot of the things they do in porn is normal.  (like rape play, hardcore bdsm..etc) when your friends mention you in fb statuses & tweets do you get happy? yeah how much does it really take to get you mad? not that much. would you date someone that your parents & friends didn’t approve of? depends do you have any regrets? Yes. are you always the one to apologize even if it’s not your fault? Yes ever lost friends because of a certain guy or girl? nope. ever used a legit sex toy before? nah never bought one before. ever questioned your sexuality? not really ever thought you were pregnant? one time i didnt get my period at all and it was 3 weeks late and i took 3 test and i wasnt pregnant but i was still freaking out and then i lightly spotted for a week..and then i didnt get my period til he next month, that was scary. ever faked being pregnant? who does this favorite song at the moment?  nothing ever had a major surgery performed on you? one do you actually like school lunches? the ones in high school were actuallly good. do you think you’re a boring person? no but i can be do you think you’re more or less a good person? i think  im a good person which of the 7 deadly sins are you guilty of? envy ever made a survey & then taken it yourself? yeah i did once haha do you think it’s possible to dislike all music?  some people just dont like music i guess. i think theyre crazy. what’s one thing you think everyone has in common? we all have to breathe oxygen. do you believe that there’s actually good in EVERYONE? well we all start good but it all depends during the age development.. what’s one thing that bothers you that probably wouldn’t bother most people?  need to  have tv on a even number of sound level do you believe in forever? no how many relationships have you been in? 4 including the one i am in do you ever want to get married? why or why not? I do. Because i want to lol do you believe in divorce? well i mean some people just cant stay married.

is there a song you can’t listen to without thinking of someone? Yeah. do you think a lot of the surveys on here are too alike? sometimes they all ask the same question how are you feeling right now? decent do you like being called babe, baby, hunnie, etc? I do like baby/babe but only from my boyfriend have you ever thought etc was actually ect? no do you have any sort of ongoing health problem? i dont think so

ever lost someone close to you? Yes my dad died ever been hit by a motor vehicle? actually yeah. when i was 8 i was hit by a car on my way to school lol can you play a musical instrument? I cant do you wish you did? I wish i wouldve joined band tbh

are you able to speak fluently in more than one language? No. ever self harmed in any way? Yes. do you prefer longer or shorter surveys? Medium to long. what is one word you just cannot pronounce? specific  if you could look like any celebrity who would you look like? Hmmmmmmm ever wish you were of the opposite sex? No. don’t you just love fun people? i guess. i just hate people who ALWAYS wanna do shit especially when youre tired and they almost force you to go out. is there that one person who you just CAN NOT seem to get over? no one currently so what’s your dream job? animator someone you can’t see yourself being able to live without? My boyfriend best & most favorite video game (pc or console) ever?  hmmm. depends. I really love Kingdom Hearts 2, or even Elder scrolls online but My fav game ever is The Last of Us  would you ever tattoo someone’s name on you? maybe my dads name but not really when people sing happy birthday to you do you feel awkward or happy? It’s so awkward. favorite thing about being in a relationship? having someone be there for you..and cuddles and oh sex favorite thing about being single? the freedom i guess? not having to worry about someone else, or worry about getting texts back lol ad also you can kind of go out and not worry if youre flirting idk. I hate when im talking to another guy and im afraid im leading them on, especially when im not. ever been hurt by someone you thought would never hurt you? Yes. don’t you hate it when people in relationships act single? it annoys me. Like whats the point of hiding shit? so is your hair dyed? Yep. but fading back sex is really good isn’t it? It sure is ever had a friends with benefits? no do you like trains :)? uhmmm do you think you have a pretty good singing voice? Nope. how about dancing, are you a good dancer? I am white. is intelligence a turn on for you? It’s good. i hate stupid guys lol do you like to feel powerful & in charge? No capricorns are the best aren’t they? I don’t believe in astrology. <--- same are you afraid to stand out? just a little.

[berelandcocustom-blog]

True Gentleman's Clubs & Venues to be Seen

Every gentleman needs a club — a place where standing out is the expectation and class is the standard. Though the days of 18th century clubs reserved for British aristocracy are obsolete, a fine club can inspire the aristocrat in every gentleman. Clubs place an emphasis on preserving worthy traditions in a society that often distances itself from them. Club members today range across different ethnic backgrounds, religions, and even socioeconomic statuses. Not bearing a prestigious last name may seem discouraging, but the chances of gaining membership to a private club are more imperative upon possessing an authentic appreciation for clubhouse tradition, an impressive resume of mighty accomplishments and contributions, and of course, knowing the right people.

Clubhouse culture represents a common mindset that all gentlemen carry with them, a desire for tailored experiences. Just as a true gentleman understands the power of a well contoured, bespoke suit, he also understands that all of his endeavors should be aligned with his appreciation for sophistication and confident self-expression. Style is more than putting on a suit or going to a club; it’s about the cohesion of these pursuits creating a truly elegant lifestyle.

DC

The Capitol Hill Club  

For the most quintessential D.C. clubhouse experience, elect The Capitol Hill Club for your exclusive lounging needs. Originally created by Congressman James C. Auchincloss for Republicans to gather, eat, and unwind – this club still upholds some of its traditions. Now, the Capitol Hill Club is known as the exclusive stomping grounds for Republican leaders to talk business and brainstorm new policies over victuals. Its simple design affords an understated elegance, providing a setting that exudes modesty and power before you even bear witness to some of the club’s influential members. The Hill’s rich heritage and proximity to the U.S. Capitol makes it one of the best places for the world’s most powerful lawmakers to intermingle. Whether it’s to rub shoulders with D.C.’s political movers and shakers or to bask in the dying art of old world sophistication, The Capitol Hill Club will surely please the dapper gentleman’s pursuits.

Membership is by invitation only; one must be proposed and seconded by voting members. Once approved, an application must be submitted for consideration.

The George Town Club

Carved wood paneling throughout this stunning 18th century frame building effortlessly conjoins warmth and class. Originally formed in 1966 to bring together some of the world’s most powerful leaders, this upscale Georgetown hideaway stunningly maintained its intent over the decades.  Thriving in the most prestigious district in Georgetown, it’s only natural that every inch of the property exudes exclusivity and decadence. Transporting you to a time where chivalry was still alive and men wore jackets and ties to dinner, the George Town Club maintains a strict dress code for all members and their guests, to ensure the proper ambience. It’s no wonder that sophisticated men such as George Washington and Pierre Charles L’Enfant once frequented the establishment. Whether seeking membership or simply a drink with a colleague, several tasteful luxuries are available for every gentleman to indulge in.

Membership is by invitation only.

NYC

The Metropolitan Club

For a classic Upper East Side experience, the Metropolitan Club masterfully delivers. The property stands on land acquired by the Duchess of Marlborough, a posh corner at 5th Avenue and 60th Street. The historic landmark could undoubtedly pass for a museum or even a palace (appropriately), since club founders included American royalty such as J.P. Morgan, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and James A. Roosevelt. The Met Club serves as a haven for gentlemen of the utmost class to integrate, exchange ideas, and enjoy pleasant company. The Met Club packages the feeling of late 1800’s New York City within its opulent walls. A time of quaint luxury and leisure, when horse cars were the main source of transit and everyone dressed with nobility. Gentlemen are required to wear jackets and ties at all times and in all areas of the clubhouse.

The Norwood

Lodged between Victorian-era homes, The Norwood stands out as a fashion-forward clubhouse in the heart of the bustling Meatpacking District. This creative hub values innovative minds over deep pockets for access to the clubhouse (although still not cheap). Fresh perspectives in science, art, and tech affords a less stodgy air than its ivy league club counterparts which rely more on family ties and large bank accounts. Some of the world’s most innovative leaders and creative thinkers retreat here for invigoration and inspiration. Think “artsy fartsy” over “fancy shmancy”, although The Norwood does not skimp out on cutting edge décor and class. For the modern gentleman with a taste for inventiveness in all aspects of life, The Norwood will fulfill every creative craving.

Philadelphia

Union League

Formed in 1862 as a supportive society to the Union and policies of President Abraham Lincoln, naturally nothing less than undying patriotism oozes from the walls of this fine establishment. For the gentleman that prides himself in strong values and true American spirit, the traditional décor, decked with lush wood and polished marble, will be held in high regard. Every step taken through the club’s many rooms unveils evolving magnificence and charm with each detail. The Union League encourages the exploration of camaraderie with the establishment of affinity clubs, frequent social gatherings, and other high-class occasions. Honor and integrity are highly valued, so a true gentleman will have no problem fitting in. The Club also includes access to the fitness center and elegant hotel rooms.

Racquet Club

There is a certain air of refinement that is associated with racquet sports. Probably because the people that engage in these sports are often those that possess a sense of worldliness, charm, and finesse. Sports such as squash carry rich traditions that afford the sport a certain significance that goes beyond simply swinging a racquet. For the refined and athletic club-goer, there is no club more fitting than the historic Racquet Club. Conveniently located in the heart of Center City Philadelphia, the club serves up everything a gentleman would need to express some energy in style. The exclusive, state-of-the-art facilities include a tennis court, six international squash courts, a doubles squash court, and a racquets court — offering a variety of options that suit each member’s fancy. Additionally, the fitness center is open 24-hours a day for all club members and their guests. The only thing better than getting fit, is getting fit in an establishment as classy as the gentleman it holds. The elegantly furnished rooms are the perfect place to get some shut eye after a day of swinging your racquet in style, and to refresh your ensemble for a swanky evening out.

London

The Arts Club

Founded in 1863 as a means for some of the world’s most creative thinkers to congregate, The Arts Club has evolved into a chic, innovative environment open to anyone with a taste for the arts. The club, located in the Mayfair district of London, served as the stomping grounds for England’s most elite artists such as Charles Dickens and Lord Leighton. Upon entering the club, a sense of beau monde luxury still fills the air. Traditional English design, matched with modern and sleek furnishings appropriately reflect the mesh of creative minds who gather to indulge in the ambience. Have a drink, enjoy some art, and enlighten yourself amongst some of the world’s heaviest hitters in fashion, film, and architecture. For the inventive gentleman seeking a creative retreat, membership at The Arts Club will meet your needs.

The Groucho Club

In the heart of the ever-swanky Soho district of London lies one of the most exuberant private clubs in all the land. Created by a group of publishers to break out of the prim structure of more traditional gentleman’s clubs, the Groucho Club open its arms to anyone with a knack for media and entertainment. The election board will most likely choose a gritty film director over an heir with more money than he can count — so keep that in mind when filling out the application. Between the pop-art adorned walls and the fashion-forward, spirited members, the Groucho Club may sometimes feel like a scene out of a Warhol documentary. Gentlemen here appreciate class, but rarely feel tied down to the status quo. Adventurously witty men shall seek membership with enthusiasm.

Retreats from the world of trends and conformity are necessary for any true gentleman. In a one-size-fits-all world, tailored experiences become increasingly vital. Membership at a private club provides access to a marriage of camaraderie and sophistication, luxury and exclusivity. Club membership aligns with the gentleman’s beliefs and worldly perspectives so they may continue to be a better man.

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3 Types Of Facebook Marketing Advertisements

By Sammy Sheilds

Simple Tips To Help You Understand Facebook Marketing A new and exciting marketing campaign really can help a business, and Facebook is a great place to try. This site can quickly grow your company. Learn what you can do in this article; it has a lot of great tips it contains. Try making a group rather than a page. A Facebook group allows everyone to interact and feel like they know one another. You can also use a group and a page if you would like and interacting. Try putting out some Facebook ads. Posting on your page will only get you so far. To really maximize your marketing efforts, use ads to reach outside your normal followers. They cost very little and they can make quite the difference. A great way to interact with your subscribers is to respond to the feedback they leave on your page. This means checking you should always check your wall for new comments and use the @ symbol before mentioning your brand's name. It is especially important to respond quickly to anyone who needs customer service support or posts a complaint is brought to light. The goal of using Facebook marketing is to increase your overall profits. You can track your success by setting a monthly goals to reach in sales. If you're not gleaning business, it might be time to make changes in your business strategy. Companies that only have rare contact with customers may not need Facebook for their business. Your customers often come and go at random and will want to read your posts everyday on Facebook.Invest in a targeted for Facebook instead. Companies like car dealers may not need Facebook pages. Your customers will not be following posts. Use targeted ads on Facebook page in this circumstance. Facebook is not always the best choice for marketing. While Facebook is wildly popular, different demographics prefer different social media websites. Research your target audience to find them in the site as much as you think they are. Do not share updates that are not directly related to your business. Only talk about stuff that will interest your subscribers are interested in hearing about. Personal projects and interests should be kept for a separate personal account. It could be difficult to begin using Facebook marketing. A good starting point is the addition of a Facebook button on your website. This helps visitors and customers to easily connect to your business's Facebook page. Only use images that are professional pictures on your Facebook. These pictures will give the community a great way to show off your business is like. If you take photos to post on your business's Facebook page, make sure you use a high-end DSLR camera and avoid posting images that could be negatively associated with your brand. Run a contest or competition every now and then with the goal of "Likes" on your page. You could offer discounts or something free to a nice prize once your goal of likes is met. This will net you more subscribers and gives your offering or prize. Keep your audience as informed of what is going on in your company. This isn't the same as posting five times daily, but regular updating is important. Your updates should have lots of content and contain information that is targeted to your customer base. Use a tool for sharing updates when your followers are generally online. Try out a few different scheduling tools to find one that works for you. Ask your followers if they will share the content that you post. Offer a discount or other incentive to have your followers share your page with someone else. You could also promise to share a coupon code with everyone once one or your updates is shared a certain number of times. Do you have your own store? Make sure it's linked to the check-in functions that Facebook offers. Let your customers update their own Facebook statuses by checking into the store. This allows you to market to friends of your store is and how they can get to it if they wish to check in. Make sure to thank your followers for helping you appreciate them.This will build your followers feel special and appreciated. Remember that it is not easy to determine the tone while reading a post. Posting automated messages can cause fans to lose interest in you. Learn to use your Facebook fans as a way to get inspiration. For example, if you are not sure about a marketing idea, see what your followers think about it. You should have several great options in no time. This is a key factor in marketing. You can even tell everyone what you did over the weekend. Show them how your products were used and what you enjoy. Stay updated on new features Facebook has. Your users will be taking advantage of the new features and you have to be sure that you're using them too. Don't hesitate testing new features before your subscribers do. Send everyone a note that says thank you and include an announcement of the milestone you're celebrating on your Facebook page. This will build your business. It will take a while for your Facebook marketing strategies to be effective and relate to increased sales. Your patience will be rewarded over time. There are lots of existing apps out there that you're able to use in conjunction with your company's Facebook profile which makes it more valuable. EasyPromos is one example of an app which helps you to put promos on your page easily. There are a lot of things you can use on your company's Facebook that will make it more interesting. EasyPromos is a great tool to use for your page. Make sure to keep your postings on Facebook a regular occurrence. You can't just make a page up and expect people to like that page. You have to engage people on a regular way. Whether you're posting once or twice weekly, you need to be sure that others remember who you are. Since reading this piece, you are aware of what it takes to begin marketing on Facebook. Make use of this excellent information, and you will realize that Facebook marketing is an incredible method of attracting more customers. If you get to work today, success will come quickly.

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