#also srry for not posting a lot has been happening but i am planning on coming back so dwdw

[michuyox]

this does NOT deserve almost 1k notes what the hell ☹️

POV: You compliment the Gabriels

[ruby-whistler]

Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

[newsies-and-the-nutcracker]

Newsies but it’s French (Canadian)

Inspired by that one post about German newsies (the movie). I’m heavily bilingual, so I don’t really talk the same way as those in Quebec. I’ll probably be laughing at a lot of the subtitles lol. Honestly, I’ll probably still laugh even if it’s how I talk, bc everything is funnier when you translate French to English.

Act two will be out soon.

~ santa fe (prologue) scene ~

Instead of “be a pal, Jack!” It’s “Be nice, Jack!” lol

“Look at me, I’m standing! Look at me, I’m running!” idk whether to laugh or cry-

~ carrying the banner scenes ~

“Who rang you?!” WHY IS FRENCH SO STRANGE

‘Pickings’ is now ‘fish’

“Long as pigeons don’t mind paying-" hmm ok

“Wese as free as air.” What happened to fishes?? Did you waste it on pickings???

Okay they’ve used both ‘small’ and ‘pretty’ for ‘what a fine life’ now idk what to think

“Cheeky Boy Loses His Time For Nothing.”

“This boy is full of riches!” h-how did you get that from bottle-

A bunch of big shots / big vegetables??

“I’m ignoring it, my sister. It’ll end up well by raining.” I CAN’T

“A trick to keep me awake” yeah coffee is a trick-

Why did they change ‘88 degrees’ to ‘30 degrees’ ????

“No, idiot, that doesn’t make a headline anymore!”

“... all the pigeons that we find.” What is it with them and pigeons?? HOW DID THEY GET PIGEON FROM SUCKER???

Again with the pigeons...

Also apparently newsies are now called ‘the sellers’???

“Look at this! A new!” a new what weasel?? weasel a new what???

they cut out the ‘with his shoes on’ part of Jack’s insult-

~ the bottom line scene ~

“And when Nunzio gets nervous, I don’t have a pretty head.”

“Exactly, fool.”

“Even after having stepped in mud, everything will go right!” I mean, it’s already not all right if you’ve stepped in mud-

“The bottom line” is now “can make all the difference” and idk how to feel about that either-

that’s it. Wasn’t much happening in that song.

~ that’s rich scenes ~

“Not at all! I said he heard it here. And it’s true.”

“Save yourselves!” I like that better honestly

Did Snyder just call the cop ‘mister money’??

“Where’ve you been keeping yourself, my child?” awww

“Your friend is all an artist!” I mean, i guess?

“I’ve never known anyone who has a talent!” pfft-

“Boys, lock the doors and sleep here!” that sounds vaguely threatening

“I’m doing alright for myself, my friends” why do French people call everyone their friends?? I’m in 10th grade and my teachers still call us their friends-

“Seems whatever I touch… turns to gold.” alright so I’ve heard that line isn’t for the innocents (aka me lol) and idk but I don’t think that’s what they meant-

THEY CHANGED RICH TO UNBELIEVABLE NOOOOOO

They really changed it to “and scotch from scott”-

“But I’ve got no luck. They’re nothing but idiots.”

“Hey, my dear, it’s you I’m talking about!”

“Now, listen, my friend.” there it is again-

“To lose it with youuuuuu-”

“You are not rich!” absolute savage

~ i never planned on you / don’t come a knocking scene ~

“Re-hello” why french. just why.

“At least be polite!” srry miss medda

oh so now you use fools for suckers alrighty then I see how it is-

“I find girls kind.” uhh that’s nice-

“This love is not blind but idiot.” why am I even doing this?

~ the world will know scenes ~

“You want to calm yourself?” awww it doesn’t make sense when Tommy Boy looks down anymore…

“Hey, Jack. You think always?”

This is actually a common expression, but it’s still funny. “Ah, gee” or other things like that is is “Good blood” lol

Davey’s “I don’t know!” (the first one) Is now “I’m ignoring it!” you’re welcome

“YES!!” does no one know how to say ‘yeah’ in french?

“What’s it gonna take to stop the machines” ??

“See, the world ignores!”

“Pulitzer takes away our voice, but we’ll give him the deaf ear!” I’m confused-

Ohh I thought it was a different word. It’s “Pulitzer raises his voice but we’ll give him the deaf ear!” Which still doesn’t really make sense compared to “Pulitzer may crack the whip, but he won’t whip us!”

~ watch what happens scene ~

“Can’t you see it in my eyes?” “Yeah, agreed.”

“The wagons” are now “the trucks”

“This is important, dear lady, don’t mess it all.”

“I’m totally ignoring what I’m doing!” same

“Write on these young boys.” I-

“These youngs will take life on the page.” nice

“Jack Kelly is ready to take on the monster Pulitzer.” I love it.

~ seize the day scenes ~

“... Are we?” “No question! No!”

“And the Queens?” not just queens. THE queens

“Now is the time to seize the chance.” *disappointed sigh*

“That’s lamentable.” wow race

“They have to work very hard to win their bread… and help their parents!” Jack feels very strongly about that

“Hey! What’re you doing? Look!” yeah the background comments are funny, but they’re even funnier in French-

“THE STRIKE, THE STRIKE, THE STRIKE THE STRIKE THE STRIKE THE STRIKE THE STRIKE THE STRIKE THE STRIKE THE STRIKE OHHHH THE STRIKE!!”

“Very good, Jack!” I can’t why do they sounds like proud parents-

“Go, sirs!” before they all rip the papes lol

~ santa fe scene ~

“The captain Jack just wants to close his eyes and go!” why do they always put ‘the’ in front of everything?

“Why should we live and die here?” the real question is wHY WOULD YOU CHANGE THAT??

“And the dates to faaaaaaall” what

[haec-est-fides]

Filodox’s Trials of Apollo Reactions [Part I]

Welcome to part one of a reflective journey through Trials of Apollo ft. my original ebook annotations! I’ll be your host, 2020!filodox.

For this first episode, we’ll be going back to May 2016, the beginning of it all: The Hidden Oracle.

Annotations for this round are brought to you by 2016!filodox.

Is there anything we should know before we begin, 2016!me?

2016!filodox: I swore on the Styx never to read another Riordan book after he killed Octavian. And yet here we are.

... Alright then! Let’s get started.

But first, a more detailed overview on how this series will work: I will excerpt bits and pieces of the books based on what I highlighted / annotated on my first read. Beneath each quote, I will share what I wrote in the annotation. Below that, I will (occasionally) laugh at my past self, clarify the note, or say how my view has changed.

I encourage questions, comments, and concerns (of which there may be many), so go ahead and use that replies feature if you feel so inclined! However, these are just my opinions and (occasionally) emotional reactions, so no hate pls. <3 (Or, if you do send hate, pls make it funny.)

Now, diving right in with Riordan’s dedication!

To The Muse Calliope. This is long overdue. Please don’t hurt me.

2016!filodox: Hurt him. He didn’t even name the chapters.

As you can see, I had yet to experience Lester’s haiku and was already mad based on the table of contents alone. I went into this series very salty...

I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy.

2016!filodox: At least he did something right. Once.

I was just,,,extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill. (Though I was a huge Troy / Aeneas stan before all this, just to be clear.)

Is anything sadder than the sound of a god hitting a pile of garbage bags?

2016!filodox: I actually find this particular god crashing into a dumpster quite amusing.

I also blamed Apollo for what happened to Octavian. I think that had a lot to do with how Apollo acted on Delos in Heroes of Olympus, basically disowning Octavian and whining about how some “creature” scammed him? That was bullshit. Apollo needed to own the fact that he blessed Octavian, but he just abandoned him and denied all the blame. TL;DR I had a grudge, okay?

My mind stewed in confusion, but one memory floated to the surface -- the voice of my father, Zeus: YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.

2016!filodox: Wait, is this bc everyone blames Octavian and therefore Apollo? Bc lol but also no?

*cough* Octavian did nothing wrong 2k16 *cough*

Zeus will reconsider, I told myself. He’s just trying to scare me. Any moment, he will yank me back to Olympus and let me off with a warning.

“Yes...” My voice sounded hollow and desperate. “Yes, that’s it.”

2016!filodox: Apollo is a self centered frat boy, I forgot...but it is slightly...endearing? *narrows eyes*

Ah, how close I was to stanning Lester in the first chapter, when he was at his most “goddy”. You know, I actually made a rule for myself when I started reading Trials of Apollo that I would not under any circumstances stan Apollo. That was a naive goal, because it was never really a danger.

Regardless, Zeus had held me responsible for Octavian’s delusions of grandeur. Zeus seemed to consider egotism a trait the boy had inherited from me. Which is ridiculous. I am much too self-aware to be egotistical.

2016!filodox: I am going to Murder him.

*chef kiss* the hypocrisy ! the lack of self-awareness !

“I just...I assumed -- I hoped this would be taken care of by now.”

“You mean by demigods,” Percy said, “going on a big quest to reclaim the Oracle of Delphi?”

2016!filodox: That sounds like a decent quest, or you know, QUESTING FOR THE SIBYLLINE BOOKS

I’ve always said I can see the future but an inch to the left. Also, I don’t like Ella.

It warmed my heart that my children had the right priorities: their skills, their images, their views on YouTube. Say what you will about gods being absentee parents; our children inherit many of our finest personality traits.

2016!filodox: AND HE’S MAD ABOUT OCTAVIAN?!

I mean ?

Apollo, when Austin and Kayla show ambition: THEY GOT THAT FROM ME <3

Apollo, when Octavian (or Nero, or Caligula) shows ambition: srry i don’t know him ??

He had a weak jawline, an overlarge nose, and a beard that wrapped around his double chin like a helmet strap. His hair was curly and dark like mine, except not as fashionably tousled or luxuriant. His lips curled as if he smelled something unpleasant. Perhaps it was the burning seats of the bus.

2016!filodox: Nero ???

Not quite sure how to feel looking back at this moment. Call out post @ myself for instantly recognizing Nero, when afaik this scene was before we had any hints that Roman emperors were even a plot point? But here’s the thing: I don’t remember why I could recognize him so easily. I don’t remember where 2016!me obtained this ancient Rome knowledge. A mystery.

On another note entirely, did Nero really like,,,astral project into Apollo’s fever dream to address him directly? Because Rhea does. And sometimes Python does. But Nero? Can he do that?

The man laughed as flames licked at his purple sleeves. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Find me the gates. Lead me to the Oracle. I’ll enjoy burning it down!”

2016!filodox: I too enjoy burning things down. # Nero confirmed

My only comment here is “oh you sweet summer child,,,”

Oh. Perhaps some of you are wondering how I felt seeing [Will] with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

2016!filodox: No, actually. I wasn’t wondering. I was plotting how to kill you, them, and quite a few other people. Do you think I could trade you for Octavian?

Oh man, back at it again with the salt. XD

I could only remember my conversations with Octavian, the way he’d turned my head with his flattery and promises. That stupid boy...it was his fault I was here.

A voice whispered in the back of my mind. This time I thought it might be my conscience: Who was the stupid boy? It wasn’t Octavian.

2016!filodox: I can’t really...explain my emotions upon reading this. I’m still not quite okay, but this...it’s bittersweet in a way. I don’t know if this is a poor attempt at a proper closure, the author’s way of beating a dead horse, or just a way to make Apollo seem pitiable. Whatever it is... Octavian was important enough to remain in Apollo’s mortal memory. He somehow made promises to a god and had Apollo wrapped around his finger. And despite being so much like Apollo, the god blames him. Like everyone blames him. But Apollo also realizes, accepts on an infinitesimal scale, that “it wasn’t Octavian”. He wasn’t perfect, but neither is Apollo. Apollo is (at least) subconsciously admitting his own guilt in the whole affair.

...yeah. I will note that this bit isn’t meant to develop Octavian, but rather uses Octavian as a prop to support Apollo’s development? Which is why it still stings. Like thanks, I guess.

“Your judgement in the past has been...questionable. I wonder if you have chosen the right tools for this job. Have you learned from your past mistakes?”

2016!filodox: Nero has made plenty of mistakes to learn from

Love how I just assumed it was Nero back in chapter 10 and went with it, zero hesitation. Also love how I heard Python say Nero has made mistakes and went “oh absolutely”. In fact, here’s something funny in retrospect that will become more and more apparent: I did not like Nero in 2016. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. There’s something really odd going on here that baffles me, looking back...

“A triumvirate is a ruling council of three,” I said. “At least, that’s what it meant in ancient Rome.”

“Which is interesting,” Rachel said, “because of this next shot.” She tapped her screen. The new photo zoomed in on the building’s penthouse terrace, where three shadowy figures stood talking together....

2016!filodox: Is it bad that I’m smirking? Because it’s getting interesting ~ *clear malicious intent*

Wow, edgy. Triumvirates are just a neat, Roman thing and I stanned.

“The last triumvirate I dealt with included Lepidus, Marc Antony, and my son, the original Octavian. A triumvirate is a very Roman concept...like patriotism, skullduggery, and assassination.”

2016!filodox: THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. MODERN OCTAVIAN IS A VERY GOOD ANCIENT ROMAN. POLITICS, ESPECIALLY SHADY AF POLITICS AND POWERPLAYS, ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY ROMAN. Also, I’d like to note that it’s confirmed, in this universe’s canon, that Augustus was a son of Apollo.

Ohhhh, wait. I think I’d watched the HBO series Rome by 2016, which would at least partially explain my ancient Rome knowledge. (Amazing tv show btw!)

“He heard them talking in Latin.”

“Latin? Were they campers?”

Pete spread his hands. “I--I don’t think so. Paulie described them like they were adults. He said one of them was the leader. The other two addressed him as imperator.”

2016!filodox: !!!! (obligatory 💕)

I was such a simp for Latin in high school. And the Roman Empire. Still am, but hey.

“The Beast is planning some kind of attack on your camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s going to be big.”

2016!filodox: Runs in the family I guess

The Octavian / Triumvirate parallels are everywhere... 👀

“The emperors made themselves gods. They had their own temples and altars. They encouraged the people to worship them.”

2016!filodox: # deify me

*smacking my past self with a stick* You stop that! Edgy child!

Anyway, a much better point here is like,,,the Imperial cult was huge in the ancient Roman world. Looking at Apollo’s explanation here, why did only the “worst” three emperors get to be immortal? Did famously “good” emperors like Augustus and Marcus Aurelius have the option of becoming minor gods, but they chose Elysium or something? Are there slightly less infamous emperors just hanging around anywhere as minor gods? A lot of Roman emperors live on in human memory is all I’m saying.

“Wait!” Will said as I reached the door. “Who is the Beast? Which emperor are we dealing with?”

“The worst of my descendants.” My fingers dug into the doorframe. “The Christians called him the Beast because he burned them alive. Our enemy is Emperor Nero.”

2016!filodox: I honestly can’t believe it took this long to reveal this? Was anyone surprised?

Nero’s reveal is rather late in the book compared to Commodus, Caligula, and even Tarquin iirc? But it makes sense, being the first book of the series. Also love how 16-year-old me was like “this reveal is silly because everyone, like me, recognizes Nero on sight” and didn’t question that assumption at all.

“Germani.” Instinctively, I moved in front of Meg. The elite imperial bodyguards had been cold-blooded death reapers in ancient Rome. I doubted they’d gotten any sweeter over the centuries.

2016!filodox: BITCH. See? This is why I love Rome. They knew what they were doing.

Ngl, as someone of Germanic heritage, I felt really represented by the Germani, which is hilarious on so many levels.

He tried to compensate for his ugliness with an expensive Italian suit of purple wool, his gray shirt open to display gold chains. His shoes were hand-tooled leather, not the sort of thing to wear while stomping around in an ant pile. Then again, Nero had always had expensive, impractical tastes.

2016!filodox: I don’t exactly like Nero, and actually think he was quite the shitty emperor, but I guess I mildly respect and “like” him on principle (in this book at least).

OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I was so convinced that I didn’t actually like Nero, despite all of the lowkey evidence to the contrary? Who hurt you, past me? (Lmao, it was Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio.) My working theory is that I was too much of an Emperor Augustus stan at the time to admit liking Nero. It’s hysterical. Look at me equivocating like a champ.

I’d been so proud of my son, the original Octavian, later Caesar Augustus. After his death, his descendants became increasingly arrogant and unstable (which I blamed on their mortal DNA; they certainly didn’t get those qualities from me).

2016!filodox: I’m glad Apollo and I can agree on something. Augustus was amazing and those who came after him...significantly less so.

See! The propaganda really got to me, what can I say?

Nero clasped his hands as if in prayer. “Oh, my. It seems we’ve had a slight miscommunication. You see, Apollo, Meg brought you here, just as I asked her to. Well done, my sweet.”

2016!filodox: This was obvious but I still find it...gods, the only word I can think of is “delicious”

. . .

“The Beast killed my father. This is Nero. He’s -- he’s my stepfather.”

I could not fully grasp this before Nero spread his arms.

“That’s right, my darling,” he said. “And you’ve done a wonderful job. Come to Papa.”

2016!filodox: Okay, but we should have known this since it became apparent her weapons were Roman. Also, oof. Also also, WHY did Riordan feel the need to add that last line? Why?

ASDFGHJKL: I CAN’T

“After the fire, we’ll rebuild,” he said. “It will be glorious!”

2016!filodox: The amount of times I have used this very logic is worrying.

For (some) context, Firelord Ozai is my favorite character from AtLA. <3

The scene might have been funny except that the Germani were now back on their feet, five demigods and a geyser spirit were still tied to highly flammable posts, and Nero still had a box of matches.

2016!filodox: Oh, I find this plenty amusing!

The emperor stared at his empty hand. “Meg...?” His voice was as cold as an icicle.

2016!filodox: The various ways his tone / voice have been described throughout this conversation are just 💕

*looks at camera like I’m on The Office*

Seriously, though. Nero’s voice is like the central descriptive element of his character because he’s so manipulative. It’s really cool and a great use of detail.

[Meg] turned to Nero. “You told me never to lower myself to my enemies’ level.”

“No, indeed.” Nero’s tone had frayed like a weathered rope. “We are better. We are stronger. We will build a glorious new world. But these nonsense-spewing trees stand in our way, Meg. Like any invasive weeds, they must be burned. And the only way to do that is with a true conflagration -- flames stoked by blood.”

2016!filodox: Real 👏🏻 Gods 👏🏻 Require 👏🏻 Blood👏🏻

I was way too enthusiastic about this whole situation, wasn’t I?

Nero grinned. “Good-bye, Apollo. Only eleven more Olympians to go.”

2016!filodox: Wait, shit, WHAT

Having read Tower of Nero, this probably had something to do with Python interfering with the Fates, huh? But does that mean it’s more Python’s plan or Nero’s? If this was Nero’s plan (with his 12 kids literally replacing the Olympians) that’s,,,really fucking bold.

Then I heard the screaming from Camp Half-Blood.

2016!filodox: Music to my ears ~

I’m presenting every edgy detail of my annotations so I have a proper case file when I inevitably have to face the question “On a scale of one to ten, how relatable is Emperor Nero and why should you have realized it’s a ten sooner?”

In a flash of silver light, the camp’s magical barriers collapsed. The Colossus lurched forward and brought his foot down on the dining pavilion, smashing it to rubble like so many children’s blocks.

2016!filodox: Payback! Dear gods, I can’t stop smiling! I’m just like “YES!” I know this will all probably get fixed or whatever but I’M HAVING A MOMENT.

I’ve learned to appreciate the small wins. <3

Percy grabbed one of the crown’s sunray spikes. He sliced it off at the base, then jabbed it into the Colossus’ forehead.

2016!filodox: As much as Nero is FAR from my favorite, I really don’t like defacing ancient (or replicas of ancient) statues and art...

This is where I just start laughing at myself tbh. I was so insistent on not liking Nero. Like, I sound like I’m in denial. Peak equivocation. What happened to that heart emoji a few chapters back? Why did I suddenly make it about *checks notes* ancient art? Updated translation: nooo don’t ruin the Colossus Neronis it’s so sexy aha

Just as the [arrow] reached its apex and was about to fall back to earth, a gust of wind caught it...perhaps Zephyros looking kindly on my pitiful attempt. The arrow sailed into the Colossus’ ear canal and rattled in his head with a clink, clink, clink like a pachinko machine.

2016!filodox: HOW MANY EX MACHINAS IS THIS ?! The dryads, the arrow, Percy, the enchantment, and THIS ?

One of my criticisms of Trials of Apollo in general is just that the stakes are so much higher and Riordan usually solves that problem by having his heroes win on long odds. The chances of them succeeding at like,,,anything they attempt are astronomical, but of course they manage. It’s not surprising but it does get a little tiring.

“Yo, Nico,” Leo called, “please tell me that’s it for the physical abuse.”

“For now.” Nico smiled. “We’re still trying to get in touch with the West Coast. You’ll have a few dozen people out there who will definitely want to hit you.”

2016!filodox: Oh I’d love to hit him. With the flaming, Imperial gold payload of an onager. Preferably WITHOUT the Pontifex Maximus attached to it -- unless of course you mean the false pontifex, Jason Grace.

Leo was the salt in the wound for this one, ngl. He rekindled my undying ire over Octavian’s death. As I said at the beginning of this, I was extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill after Heroes of Olympus. That sentiment sticks around for a while...

And we can call that a wrap!

Though it may seem like it, my annotations are not, in fact, a compilation of Nero’s greatest hits. There are a lot of scenes of his that I love (naturally) but I didn’t have anything to say about them when I first read the series. Maybe I’ll share those another time.

In any case, I hope you got something out of this ridiculously long post! Until next time! <3

[alittleoptimistic]

Favorite Character Tropes as Wish Fulfillment?

I wrote that title after I analyzed this stuff because I realized a thing about myself I was unaware of. I always get attached to the Same Character. Like, they are literally the same person in different stories. And I want to know why. So I did a little digging and thinking and all that good, good stuff. 

Here are a few examples of my typical favorite character

Charlie from Lost

Virgil from Sanders Sides

Philip from Travelers

the Doctor from Doctor Who (specifically 10)

Klaus from Umbrella Academy

Stiles from Teen Wolf

Riley from Sense 8

Cisco from Flash

Peter Pan from any version of this story

Jim from the Office

Peter from Heroes

Merlin from Merlin

Will from Hannibal

Felix from Orphan Black

Chuck from Chuck

Josh (the werewolf ) from Being Human

Jessica from Jessica Jones

Castiel from Supernatural

Loki from Marvel

Skylar from Heroes

Sherlock from Sherlock

Zuko from The Last Airbender

Killian from Once Upon a Time

I could probably find more but you get the idea

General similarities seem to be:

out of 23

21 are male?

15 have some type of addiction/problem they have difficulty controlling? (drugs, attention, adventure, eating people, killing people, ya know, etc)

17 have a secret

‘neuro-divergent’ in some way? (ADD, PTSD anxiety, depression, something? the kids are not alright)

All 23 have grey morals (probably chaotic good-ish? they all would break the rules for a good reason or get what they want)

19 have a crappy homelife/large tragedy in the past

20 have ‘superpowers/special ability’

18 are physically weak in appearance

18 are Underdogs, underestimated but actually powerful/very intelligent?

7 have a redemption arch

17 have dark hair lol

18 have a sarcastic, sense of humor

14 talk too much

mostly white in one form or another :/

So... why?? Why do I tend to like these characters more than others?

male. I am female and there are a few female characters that I LOVE. They happen, but, in all honesty, they are far and few in between. Wonder Woman, Jessica Jones, Hermione, Rey, Riley, Rory (Gilmore girls) Perhaps it is the way girls are often written? I like Jessica Jones because she is a hilarious mess and I relate. Same with... all of the ones I like, actually. They have that grey-moral vibe of real people, but lack the sexy Cat Woman, I’m-so-bad-I-can-kill-you-with-my-massive-butt-and-boobs?? Thing?? yeah? how unfortunate. They are small breasted or, at least, that is not drawn attention to too much. Could it be. holy moly, ya’ll. could it be I like women characters when they’re written... like people? like. like, as if girls are screwed up humans! not objects?? isn’t that incredible.

srry but not srry

an addiction. now, why do I tend to go here? Its a kind of a painful trope. They always go back, and back and back again to what we know is horrible for them. Perhaps there is enjoyment in watching the struggle and seeing them inevitably win their struggle, whatever it is? The strength to conquer the darkness within themselves and do the right thing. It might just make you think you can conquer your own battles?? Maybe I feel like I can relate in some sort of way, going back to old habits, struggling to be the person I want to be. Year after year of the same new year goals...

a secret. This is honestly just a nice trope and its neat, fun writing. Creates tension, and it is usually connected to the addiction. You get invested in this secret!!! It builds up to the inevitable discovery of that secret and the aftermath and all the reactions of their friends. (merlin, Will graham, chuck, etc.)

Neurodivergent. I think this is just me relating to these people. I have bouts of depression and anxiety and am currently researching the possibility of having ADD (thats a whole new weird thing idek) so this is just something that I think I see in myself.

Grey-morals. Again. This is my moral alignment, shocker. So, again, me relating to the characters. Also, characters that obviously have flaws are just well-written, well-rounded characters? No one is actually Clark Kent. characters that seem perfect either come off as plastic and fake because real people do not act like that, or they come off as kind of creepy?? because they must have some darkness lurking beneath the surface (when this is done on purpose, i actually like this quite a lot. Rose Quartz is an example of a character who seemed perfect on the surface, but as the show moved on, is revealed to be a Real Disaster Queen. she isn’t evil, just kind of a brat, but that redeemed what seemed to be sloppy storytelling because it was realistic)

Tragic past. This is just something that authors give to Disaster People to justify their screwed-up-ness. Course, not all of them had tragic pasts, but something bad happened to all of them (except Jim from the Office I think??, but then again, that is a sitcom...)

Special Ability Again, wish fulfillment. Not even gonna lie. I often feel powerless and out of control, this Freaks Me Out. I think there is comfort in seeing the ‘little guy’ (aka le me) having with a BAMF hashtag

 Weak And once more on Relatable-Station. This is in connection with relating to feeling and looking powerless, but finding comfort in the secret strength these characters have whether through supernatural means, superior intelligence, biting humor, a quick tongue, etc.

Underestimated the cap on this trio. The last 3 points could be summed up as one thing. A weak, underestimated person actually has some secret strength. These characters might just be a coping mechanism I have to deal with feeling weak and overlooked and powerless, whether or not those feelings accurately portray reality. I wonder where those feelings came from in the first place.

A redemption arch This trope is often a result of having grey morals. These also help deal with feelings of inadequacy or guilt in the reader?? It makes you think, if they can be loved, surely I can. (i am really dragging myself in this post, which was not the plan lol but here we are) 

Dark hair/brown hair. I have dark hair, I also wanted black hair as a child and found it very beautiful. Also, I think the dark hair goes with the personality trope as a Screw Up. Not gonna lie, messy brown/black hair on boys and girls, honestly, but the short messy thing, is great. and when they go evil for a bit and the hair gets Extra Messy?? That. That’s. Good. (for reference see: Stiles, Killian, Peter, Virgil, Loki)

Sarcastic my flavor of humor. this is turning into the realization that we do, in fact, like characters we relate to the most. I thought that might be far fetched because I’m ‘nothing like’ these characters, but let's get real. They’re me but as a cute boy or girl.

Talk too much This isn’t me. but This is who I want to be, I think. I’ve always struggled with anxiety about being the quiet one while my brother was so much better at talking, making friends, etc. so this is, again, wish fulfillment. i swear i didn’t think this was going to be this self-indulgent but i obviously was wrong

White They aren’t all white. Zuko is Asian. Cisco’s actor is Columbian American. But that’s... thats a really small amount of diversity. Like, I’m concerned. (when i say white btw, I don’t mean just American or British or whatever, because there are characters on here that are from all over. I just mean overall white-looking for the sake of this analysis) 

So, First Hypothesis: prejudice is very ingrained and even with good intentions, i could be subconsciously avoiding characters that are POC??? If this is all a ‘projecting myself’ thing, then I relate to white people the most? Im sure im screwing this up, but i’m not gonna chicken out and avoid this because thats what I’d usually do to keep from dumbly saying something offensive, but if I dont address a problem, then no one is getting anywhere 

Second Hypothesis: Its been known the fiction industry as a whole has a problem with representation,,, I don’t want to discount me being white, but I don’t think this is just me and my tiny entitled butt. There probably isn’t as much access to that type of character for POC. How often do creators have well-rounded, stick-around-for-a-long-time, flawed, funny, sometimes-problematic-but-well-meaning characters that are also POC? not often enough. Maybe it’s not always on purpose. But because of ‘Diversity Points’, character development might get pushed aside, and then the character’s personality becomes Their Race, which is... a crappy way to build a character? The industry has a hard enough time with diversity in general. Maybe people just don't write POC as that type of character. Which makes characters like Cisco unique. I’ve never even thought about that... Good on you, Flash writer crew.

let's fix this??

need more Ciscos???

 if any POC feels inclined to call me out on my bull or give their insight (only if you want to, of course), pls do.

In conclusion: this was interesting, and it makes sense, I guess, why people like different types of characters if their favorite characters are projections in one way or another of them. I’m not saying that we all relate to our favorite characters, but me, because I have this weird, dozen or more of the same type of character that I love, it might be reasonable to assume there’s something about that character I see in myself or wish I saw in myself? Anyway, an interesting thought. What do you guys think? Do you see yourself in your favorite characters?

This has been an honest essay that got too long. I wish I was as invested in writing school essays as I am in Tumblr posts.

[hesthekingofsomewhere]

Yet Another Chatfic pt 5

part 1 I 2 I 3 I 4

this is a long chapter! and im posting it ahead of schedule! bc I love yall!

please leave comments! likes! I love feedback!

Also! this chapter has a peek into sarah, finch, and alberts groupchat

Queens of New York

8:15

santagay: say yeet if you made it home alive

DJacobs: Yeet!

SJ420: yeet

richbitch: yeet

Spot8365631: yeet

respecs: yeet

albiehadalittlelamb: yeet

WhereforeArtThou: yeet

noteventhatshort: yeet

SJ420: wheres finchy boy?

littlebirdie: still at their apt

littlebirdie: oh right

littlebirdie added crispycrutch to Queens of New York

PM with albiehadalittlelamb

santagay: al, finch slept over

albiehadalittlelamb: yeah ik?

santagay: i hate to say this and be that guy, but al, he slept in crutchies room

santagay: ik whats its like to be cheated on, and i never thought i would be having this conversation about finch but I dont want you to get hurt.

albiehadalittlelamb: ill ask finch, im sure nothing happened

PM with littlebirdie

albiehadalittlelamb: did my fake bf cheat on me?

littlebirdie: …

albiehadalittlelamb: GET SOME BOIII

littlebirdie: lmao so your not mad?

albiehadalittlelamb: why would I be mad? even if we were dating id be chill about this, ik you have a huge thing for crutchie and lord knows youd never get any action from me

albiehadalittlelamb: the only problem is that jack thinks your cheating on me

littlefinch: ok so should we fake-break up? cuz i kind of dont want to, but if jack thinks im cheating on you…

albiehadlittlelamb: i have a plan

albiehadalittlelamb: does crutchie know that were fake dating?

littlebirdie: ye, theres no way i would even be allowed into his room if we were actually dating

albiehadalittlelamb: ok but heres the thing, if jack thinks you cheated on me, then race probably thinks the same

littlebirdie: oooHHHHHH

littlebirdie: so now im also fake cheating on you so that race will feel bad and fall for you and your sad situation

albiehadalittlebird: exactly!

littlebirdie: nice! what could possibly go wrong

Queens of New York

respecs: so why is this chat called queens of new york

inyourFACEtrack: well you see…

inyourFACEtrack: twas all hallows eve 2017

inyourFACEtrack: and 7 of us showed up to kaths halloween as drag queens completely independantly

noteventhatshort: and sarah kath jack and i were dressed as disney princesses

respecs: thats beautiful

respecs: and here i thought it was bc ?everyone? here is lbgtq

santagay: well if you think about it, its both

richbitch: when was the last time we even had a straight in this chat?

crispycrutch: i think  we had morris in the chat for a week when he was dating romeo

santagay: oh god i forgot about that

SJ420: does he even count as a straight?

inyourFACEtrack: well there was a reason he was only in the chat for a week so…

santagay: true, speaking of which

santagay: specs, if you ever hurt romeo, we will find out where you live and steal all of you soap lest you ever get a date again

respecs: noted?

SJ420: he gave me the same threat when I started dating kath lmao

santagay: it worked didnt it?

SJ420: im hate you

santagay: you loved me once loser

WhereforeArtThou: oh shit he went there

inyourFACEtrack: oooooooooooo

crispycrutch: ??????

SJ420: once upon a time i thought i was a het, and then i dated jack for like 2 months

SJ420: and 90% of our relationship was checking out pretty girls together

SJ420: so i figured i should date those pretty girls

noteventhatshort: BIG MOOD

SJ420: for the record the other 10% of the relationship was jack checking out “cute” boys and me being like eh

santagay: and herre i thought you were just trying to stop me from being jealous

SJ420: jack at one point i kissed another girl in front of you and you did not care

noteventhatshort: AHHH

inyourFACEtrack: OOOF

richbitch: AN ICON

santagay: ok well

SJ420: don’t even try bud

DJacobs: That’s my sister!!!!!

santagay: but at least you didnt hide it

santagay: at least you werent kissing people behind my back like SOME people in this chat

SJ420: ????

Spot8365631: i thought you were over that

santagay: i am i just need to have moral high ground over someone

inyourFACEtrack: wait what

noteventhatshort: is this chat just stories of jack getting cheated on now?

richbitch: im living for this

richbitch: jack cant keep a man nor woman

noteventhatshort: but whats this about spot cheating on jack?

santagay: he BROKE my FRAGILE 15 y/o HEART

santagay: but spottie was too cool, lived too fast, couldnt be tied down to one man

Spot8365631: also david was a much better kisser

SJ420: OH SHIT PLOT TWIST

richbitch: CALLED OUT

inyourFACEtrack: 911? theres been a murder?

DJacobs: This…. is true.

inyourFACEtrack: THE LEGEND HIMSELF SPEAKS

respecs: i am living for the drama in this chat

crispycrutch: were kind of a mess tbh

respecs: i understand and completely respect that

inyourFACEtrack: you reSPECt that?

respecs: haha very funny not like thats my goddamn username or anything

Spot8365631: roasted

inyourFACEtrack: bitch

inyourFACEtrack: YO JACK ROMEO, GOT MY MFN 29TH

santagay: fuck offfffff

WhereforeArtThou: this bet is unfair

WhereforeArtThou: im only attracted to one gender, thats less than half the people to ask

santagay: dude ur still winning

WhereforeArtThou: yeah but its a lot more work

inyourFACEtrack: i only have 1 girls number, i think its p even

santagay: this seems like something you should have considered when we started

WhereforeArtThou: ok but consider this

WhereforeArtThou: i didnt

inyourFACEtrack: ok but consider this

inyourFACEtrack: ur a dumbass

WhereforeArtThou: strong words coming from a guy who threw a wii remote out the window

noteventhatshort: fight fight fight fight

inyourFACEtrack: my embarrassments are not ur entertainment smalls

noteventhatshort: ur embarrassments are my only entertainment what r u talking about

Spot8365631: also everything you do is embarrassing

inyouFACEtrack: i feel betrayed

santagay: you should

santagay: i once saw u put hot chocolate mix in oj

inyourFACEtrack: it tastes like a terrys chocolate orange i stand by my choices

crispycrutch: you snorted mr noodles seasoning bc spot told you to

inyourFACEtrack: and i got 20$ for it

Spot8365631: u didnt “””get”””” 20$ ur debt to me was just slightly reduced

inyourFACEtrack: EITHER WAY

crispycrutch: once i watched u drop a spoon into a pot of boiling water and stick ur hand in to get it

inyourFACEtrack: i think ur point has been made, thnk u crutchie

Spot8365631: please do not stop, hes had it coming

crispycrutch: i will stop only bc i value my safety and so i still have receipts for the future

inyourFACEtrack: oh god

inyourFACEtrack: why did i think it was a good idea to live with you

crispycrutch: bc you love me and i contribute to the rent

inyourFACEtrack: touche

crispycrutch: besides, i would have dirt on you regardless

crispycrutch: i have seen each and every one of you do stupid stuff, no one is safe

inyourFACEtrack: mooooom crutchies being meannnn

DJacobs: Crutchie, please delete your blackmail.

crispycrutch: how can i delete it when its in my brain

santagay: i have never been more scared of crutchie

SJ420: crutchie is my idol

crispycrutch: that does not make you safe my friend

SJ420: honestly at this point you could reveal anything about me and i would not care

SJ420: i have reached a god status where nothing you say could possibly embarrass me

richbitch: im so in love with you

SJ420: love you too babe

PM with SJ420

richbitch: ik youre in the next room but i dont want dave to hear, but I got a dinner reservation for two tomorrow at 7 and was wondering if you would like to join me

SJ420: i mean of course, but why are you asking me like this

richbitch: because

richbitch: also you should wear that dress you got for christmas

SJ420: ok?

More Than Just Cigars

SJ420: kath is acting weird

albiehadalittlelamb: what kind of weird

albiehadalittlelamb: like “i just lost a lot of money” weird

albiehadalittlelamb: “i just took a bunch of acid” weird?

littlebirdie: oh no is it “i just slept with jack” weird?!

SJ420: oh god no

SJ420: she texted me and asked me on a date

SJ420: i asked her why and she said because

littlebirdie: !!!!!!!!!

littlebirdie: DID SHE ASK YOU TO WEAR SOMETHING SPECIFIC

SJ420: ye, a dress from christmas

albiehadalittlelamb: OH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD

littlebirdie: GIRL

SJ420: what????

littlebirdie: jfc ur blind

albiehadalittlelamb: if u havent caught on yet we cant morally help u srry

SJ420: GUYS PLEASE

littlebirdie: nope

albiehadalittlelamb: have fun on ur date tho

PM with santagay

albiehadalittlelamb: oh yeah finch did not, in fact cheat on me

albiehadalittlelamb: he was just making up with crutchie last night, they had a fight

santagay: and u trust finch in this

albiehadalittlelamb: ofc, ive known finch a long time, he would never

santagay: ok if you insist, i just dont want you to get hurt

albiehadalittlelamb: thanks jack

Queens of New York

littlebirdie: anyone else just, super glad that theyre gay?

littlebirdie: bc thats such an important feeling

DJacobs: Me too, Finch

Spot8365631: rt

SJ420: rt

noteventhatshort: rt

WhereforeArtThou: rt

albiehadalittlelamb: rt

santagay: rt but bi

inyourFACEtrack: rt but bi

richbitch: rt but bi

respecs: rt but bi

crispycrutch: rt but pan

littlebirdie has changed Queens of New York to Queers of New York

inyourFACEtrack: helllllll yeah

Spot8365631: no cussing, my mom checks my phone

inyourFACEtrack: oh my goodness im so sorry spot

inyourFACEtrack: ill delete the message right away

DJacobs: What?

DJacobs: Why does your mom check your messages, Spot?

DJacobs: You’re 23 and moved out?

DJacobs: Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you swear in this chat.

DJacobs: This is a meme, isn’t it?

santagay: u got there on ur own!

santagay: im so proud of u!

DJacobs: Thank you, Jack.

inyourFACEtrack: why does it feel like everyone is in loving and healthy relationships except me?

PM with inyourFACEtrack

Spot8365631: wow rude

inyourFACEtrack: were not in a relationship remember?

Queers of New York

DJacobs: Jack and I are not dating.

santagay: dude, were mom and dad, i think that’s close enough

respecs: question, in this mom/dad thing, who is everyone else

santagay: kath and sarah are the aunts obvi

inyourFACEtrack: smalls, romeo, crutchie, al, and i are their kids

inyourFACEtrack: finch used to be one of the kids but now hes dating al so that seems weird

inyourFACEtrack: i guess hes sarahs kid now?

SJ420: awwww i love my new son

respecs: what about spot?

santagay: hes kind of… his own entity… like an estranged uncle or neighbor that spends more time in ur house than his own

Spot8365631: rude but accurate

santagay: thats my name dont wear it out

Spot8365631: i hate you sm

santagay: then y r u always in my house???

Spot8365631: this metaphor has gone to far. blocked deleted and unfollowed.

santagay: honestly? thats fair

santagay: i respect ur choices

Spot8365631: sounds fake but ok

PM with Spot8365631

inyourFACEtrack: in a beautiful twist of fate, crutchie jack are going to see a movie with davey and kath, and im home alone with a meat lovers pizza on its way

Spot8365631: ok?

inyourFACEtrack: would you care to join me?

Spot8365631: no, sounds too much like a date, and were not in a relationship right?

inyourFACEtrack: dude, were friends, sharing a pizza, and maybe having anal sex

inyourFACEtrack: thats not a date its just what we do

Spot8365631: still no, i have to finish a foreign policy essay for tomorrow

inyourFACEtrack: oh ok

[tinkdw]

1) You know, I really do want to believe-and i sometimes do, because you're right. Everything of this show, subtextual AND textual, point towards endgame. I can SEE that. I UNDERSTAND. The show will be completely inconsistent and frankly bullshit if it isn't endgame/canon. But then I think of other fandoms that I have been in that went through the same shit. Thousands of people believing, working together with meta, screaming over episodes because it's all so BLATANT. -->

--> 2)Cast and crew playing along, liking/retweeting tweets that reference ship stuff and specific queer readings, being inconsistent with answers to questions regarding ships going canon. The relationship being so different, not like other 'kinky' ships, in fact to the point that it is the ONLY ship that has the slightest chance of going canon. The show establishing that the characters need a romantic relationship in order to finish their development. -->

--> 3) The show being full of mirrors, callbacks, symbolism. It being so well crafted and AMAZING when you read it the way we do. Everyone rejocing because it makes so much sense, we're actually getting representation, this is increadible..... and then it turns out to be a pile of shit. The show ends, and it is not endgame, they never get together, no confirmation, still just friends, just a load of queerbait. The show wasn't going for it- it was just bad. -->

--> 4) Because it IS a bad show when you take away the romantic reading. All those mirrors, intricate plot points, symbolism, double meanings for nothing. The writers have no master plan, they are just writing what they think will raise ratings. And we are furious, yes, because it makes no sense whatsoever, but turns out- nobody cares. The GA is satisfied. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS AND IT TERRIFIES ME. because I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, not again. -->(the next is last srry)

--> 5)I actually think of unfollowing you a lot because you are so right and you, along with other brilliant meta writers, are so insightful. I can tangibly feel endgame coming after reading your posts, and then I go, wait, but it won't happen. It won't happen even thought it's RIGHT and it SHOULD and it MAKES SENSE because they don't care. It was just us falling for it. Just us reading into it. So I feel terrible after reading destiel endgame meta, because I know better than to get my hopes up.

Hi nonny, I felt compelled to answer this.

If it is not good for your mental wellbeing and you are finding it too stressful to follow me and people who blog like me then please do unfollow! I do not want to be responsible for you being stressed or worried.

Personally I like to live in the realistic and logical view of things. I am a very logical person. My opinion, personally, is that given the situation we are in I am currently (I wasn’t pre season 12 for example but am now) like, what, 95% sure (?) we are getting canon Destiel. This is my PERSONAL opinion and I do not state that I have any knowledge that any other tumblr fan has, I am not saying YOU should be this sure, it just is MY opinion.

Therefore personally I refuse to live in the 5% negative worry percentage, which I would say would be ambiguous, there’s 0% chance for me that it’ll end on brothers/friends only. I like to live in the 95% positive percentage. I also personally never thought some of the ships that Destiel gets compared to were ever going to be canon so I haven’t been let down before. I’ve never personally felt so strongly that it was pretty inevitably canon as for Destiel.

However if my posts are stressful for you, please do unfollow. I will not begrudge you!

I actually spoke to @bluestar86 and @amwritingmeta about this this morning, that now that it’s getting more and more like it’s ridiculous to think that they won’t go there it IS actually sometimes more stressful for me too, as my hopes are higher due to canon, the STAKES are higher you know?

So you’re not alone, I do understand what you are saying. Personally I like to live in the 95% likelihood probability that I myself perceive.

I’m a positive person and I enjoy the great things we are getting. If this is stressful though please look after yourself first!

[jpn-arch]

BERLIN WINTER ‘17

(this is long, if u don’t give a shit press J)

A few weeks (edit: a month or two..it’s spring already) ago I visited Berlin for the first time. Odd considering I don’t live that far. Although nothing in Europe is really insanely far, you might end up paying a lot if you want a little comfort on your trip. 

I wanted to tell you a little  about how I “experienced” the city since this is an architecture blog or sth idk. (“little”, this post is quite long tho..)  I’m quite fond of cities and public transport. I like the dynamics in the city, the different parts of it with each their own feel to it. I like how cycling around a city gives such a different sense than to go on foot or by car, how taking a tram elevates you just enough to almost fly trough the streets. 

I’m pretty sure because in Belgium, where I live, there isn’t really a large city; I get excited when visiting a “real” one.  The capital of Belgium, Brussels is considered the largest city of my country (at least I think so..) and it’s a total joke*. Brussels is nothing compared to London or Paris, and those two are nothing compared to NYC (I’m not even going to touch on Tokyo or HK..) .   I had the opportunity the travel to NYC once, my neck was stiff the whole time. The only thing large we have in Europe are cathedrals, and believe me, they are quite large (and very very beautiful!) (we also have debts, those are large as well…). Anyway, I wanted to give you this little piece of information because this really affects the way I, personally experience cities.  Back to Berlin now;

Apparently there weren’t a lot of holiday seasons around the time I went because Berlin was empty. Really empty.  Which for someone who likes to take “architectural photogrpahs” or whatever It’s called, was perfect. Unless It’s -4° the whole time and your hands are to cold to hold down the shutter button, which it was! Here is an overview ? 

So, 4 days, an empty city and -5° degrees.  (also very crappy im quality I have no idea why, it basically indicates that Im nct trash and can’t speak german for shit even though i’m Belgian) 

This was the weekly plan

Exactly , I didn’t plan a single thing except for a visit to the Reichstag Building because you had to make a reservation. I knew this because an acquaintance of mine told me so. Glad he did.

So on Monday I arrived at the central station, the Hauptbahnhof station. It’s a very nice looking station but @ Germany pls consider placing more signs I think it took me up to 20 min to get out there. And yes I was wearing my prescription glasses. It’s a station hall is nice though, It’s very bright and open space. Au contrère à Bruxelles , cela est vraiment un cauchemar! I also felt quit safe,  I didn’t have the feeling parts of the station were going to tear off and land on my head.  IF you have ever visited a random station in Belgium… you’d understand. (well it very much depends on how much money a towns has, where I live it’s definitely 0€. Others have big bucks; for example If you happen to visit Belgium I recommend you to go to train station of Liege, Don’t ask me how they where able to afford this) 

(this is a shit photo taken with my phone, just to give you a visual on how it looks like)

I consider public transport in Belgium quite shitty, underwhelming, poorly managed, not “modernised”, phathetic even. (I’m quite bitter about this topic lol) It’s by no means bad, (I’m writing this on a train, and it was on time, and it’s one of those newer trains and I can see a power outlet , I can even see TWO OF THEM I’m shook. There is also a screen that tells you what the next stop is and and what time it’ll probably arrive, and it WORKS, for once.)  But for a western country, which is one of the first country’s to use trains not only to transport  goods but also people, It’s pretty bad, poorly maintained and very poorly managed. Rant over.

NOW PUBLIC TRANSPORT IN BERLIN. BOY; listen well, there is a metro, a train, a faster train, more trains, a tram and  bus lines. On top of that, Berlin has has bike lines and actually side walks wider than 1m20cm. So that means you can walk to wherever you want without being in a car accident. Although I’ve noticed there aren’t a lot of crossroads for pedestrians,  but then again there is almost no traffic? I have not seen one traffic lane?  I’m not kidding, I’m not sure how they do it.

The public transport, its well maintained, stations are nice, trains, trams and metro’s are on time, never full (again it’s not high season so I guess it’ll be different in summer or during the winter holidays). It was a pleasant experience. People don’t talk on public transport that much, very European, I like it. Nice and quiet :)

Although the Berlin Wall hes been destroyed for about 90% , I feel like the Eastern and Western part is still divided by its architecture and city layout. For example Kreuzberg and the area around the Memorial to the murdered Jews of Europe is completely different. While the first area is much more relatable to me, walking from the Reichstag Building to the memorial was not. Streets are broad, sidewalks even broader. clean, copy paste facades. Everything was planned out, there was nothing organic about it. It even felt a little uncomfortable.

I visited the small part of the wall that is still intact, it was decorated with some really nice graffiti artwork. Honestly I don’t have that much to say about it, actually rather than that I haven’t actually thought this trough. The Berlin Wall was demolished before I was born and I never experienced it actually being there, actually having a huge impact on the citizens. I’m glad it isn’t there anymore and I went to visit berlin almost “forgetting” (or better ignoring) the fact that it was there once. I didn’t really think of it that much , but now that I reflect I think that was a good thing. I was able to experience the “after berlin” , the Now Berlin without constantly asking questions and visualising the past to put it dramaticly. (I am by no means ignoring the history, I’m just specifically talking about my personal “architectural” viewpoint).

This is a map of where I’ve been and walked around. I didn’t do that much, and I only visited the center of berlin.  

I really like that there are so many different parts of the city that look completely different . In general i think Berlin is a pleasant city to visit on foot, there was never a lack of space to walk or anything like that (like in the center of Paris for example). I think it’s pretty easy to remember the Berlin as well, after two days you kinda know where is what and how to get somewhere. I bought this 6day pass or something to get around with public transport , very handy. I’m patiently waiting for the day they will make a public transport pass that you can use in all the larger cities in Europe, like an oyster card that you can also use in paris, berlin and you know wherever. Fucking Brexit… If i had the opportunity I would love to study in Berlin, it looks like the perfect “student city” (studentenstad).

Well that was all i cld remember , part two of the post is about some buildings I visited. I’d say “i’ll post it next week” but it’ll probably take another two months or so. 

Hope you have a great night, morning, day, and please so something productive on my behalf. 

*srry abt bad english 

**please don’t take everything I say seriously and literally. I’m exagarating.  I’m a political science student it’s why we learn to do (…It’s not, that’s what law students learn lmao jk).

*** can some1 fucking tell me why GT7 is only available on ps4, does anyone now if there is EVER going to be a mac version . I’vee done all the fun races at GT5 and 6, so what do i do with my life rn.

***i’m writing this in my psychology class which battery at  9% i’m

***************but press your number by Taemin on iTunes

[spiderinej]

oc post!!!

so i’ve recently gotten back into writing my story (!!) and i’d like to share a bit about with u guys!! :) you can find the story here if you’re interested (literally any attention i get on it helps so much)! this post is just gunna be a bit about the characters !! (very minor spoilers maybe ?? not really though idk)

a short description can found on the link :)

it’s all under the cut, srry if youre on mobile!!

eleanor parks - very ??? hard to describe. she’s quiet because she was taught to be. but she’s trying to voice herself a little more. lots of anxiety. loves her lil sis and would literally do anything for her. is there a sad backstory there???? probably. likes to analyze things/ppl. she’s been taught oppressive ideas all her life but she’s trying really hard to change. i’m v proud of her. also she is mixed race and has to deal with “ur lucky because at least u look white” and “ur not white get out of here”

cameron montenegro - a little hard to figure out i guess. she’s very leader-y. also has a little sister she would die for. hmmm wonder if anyone can relate. very smart, knows what she’s doing. she can beat up a grown man with her bare fists (i’m not exactly saying that happens in the story but u know). super nice but sometimes snaps bc she doesn’t like being questioned for her decisions. for certain reasons. v tragic backstory. so tragic i’m ...... anyway. she’s got lots of things going on ok she’s not as together as she wants to seem

maggie montenegro - cameron’s lil sister. only like a year younger. she’s such a sweetheart. she has a disease!! yay for representation am i right!! she’s learned to live with it, though it complicates things for her a bit. did i mention she is a sweetheart? would probably plan trees in her free time. she doesn’t understand her sister as much as she wants to. especially when it comes to their parents. hmmm what happened there?? what/why won’t cameron tell maggie?? stay tuned folks

tate bennet - my black son!!! he doesn’t have the best backstory either. hmm do i sense a trend?? he’s a really cool dude. very friendly. is v essential to the real plot of the story but i can’t say more than that yet. he’s v opening and inviting. would probably watch anime if that were a thing in this place. idk. he is also v scared of making mistakes (again)

karina paville - my badass feminist queen omf. she’s v angry usually but she’s only trying to protect everyone. 10/10 total mom friend. part asian!! will she help eleanor with the whole being mixed race thing??? who knows. anyway she literally ran away from her cushy life becasue she realized how messed up it was with its racism and homophobia and sexism etc etc. she likes to fight ppl who deserve it. my lil knife throwing rockstar. super smart and intuitive. p much knows everything. again she is v protective and will fight u. watch out

wes carrillo - mystery mystery mystery. he’s such a good soul. almost too good. he doesn’t talk. i wonder why??? a v sad backstory perhaps. he just really believes in the good in everyone and chooses to see it even when it’s not there. such an angel 10/10 would protect. bffs with karina. they both wanna fix society but both in different ways. and he is latino!! and disabled!!!!! if he lived in our time 100% he would spend his time volunteering at youth/homeless/animal shelters and sending wholesome memes to his friends.

overall: lots of different races, different disabilities, different sexualities. some/most of which aren’t mentioned here for spoiler purposes. will i love you if u read this?? yes. will i cry if u ask questions about my ocs??? heck yes.