#also sorry there’s zero reason why there should be an ad on this particular video op def didn’t monetise it 😐

[ahalliance]

me when an ad suddenly appears on youtube after i momentarily disabled my adblocker

[kohiu]

Q&A - Let's chat!

Hi, it's Kan. Thank you for everyone who has sent me questions since last week, I am also combining this QnA with questions I've received directly before, so brace yourself!

1. What brushes do you use?

Hi!! I mostly use my custom brushes which can be downloaded from my Clip Page. Or simply search for "kohiu" on Clip Studio Profile, in case the external link doesn't work.

Here is how I've customized my G-Pen brush in Clip Studio Paint.

2. I love your poses and compositions! They're always so dynamic and unique. Do you have any particular thought process when coming up with illustrations?

Thank you! I will just repeat this answer from my fanbox: When it comes to personal illustrations (whether fan art or original), I tend to muse from the music I listened to. Which is why I often include "BGM" in my posts! Even with my Goretober book, I don't want to try too hard to commit to the set prompts. I like to break myself from the conventional illustrations I have to work with on a daily basis.

TL;DR: I'm pretty much anti-boredom.

(11 more questions answered under Read More!)

3. Would you ever consider posting speedpaint videos? How about tutorials?

3a. This is more of a request than a question and I am sorry. If you have the time and do not mind would you mind recording or doing more step by steps of your sketchwork or casual drawings? I really enjoy watching processes and from what Ive seen of yours in the past its very interesting. The way you use fill brushes is really neat. Thank you

3b. not a question but I really love watching that one speedpaint you put on youtube ages back (it was just a white haired person in a tracksuit sitting on the ground) and find it inspiring, i hope you'll make more in the future sjdjshffh or if you have uploaded any other ones in the past, can you link them for us??

Hi!! I thought of just combining these questions into just "timelapse video request", but the messages are so nice... So I have to show them here, so thanks! Though I apologize for the textwall for everyone else though.I managed to spend a day to record, edit and upload this timelapse

and semi-explanatory of the tools I used for the illustration. This video is not a tutorial, nor it should apply to all of my works, so keep that in mind!

Timelapse Video: https://youtu.be/ch-uPze1CII

(if you're seeing ads in the video, let me know so I can replace the video with no sound instead).

4. How did you get into art?

Playing with crayon pencils, doodling at the back of a receipt papers, you know, kid's stuffs. Otherwise, persistence and stubbornness have led me here now today.

5. What did you major in?

I have a Bachelor of Arts in Language and Linguistics.

6. What are your (art) inspirations?

In my younger years, I was most definitely influenced by manga and video games. By the time I got access to the internet, seeing all the independent creators out there, they definitely influenced me from time to time too.

If you're looking for arts recommendation: Check out AKIRA, I love the way they compromised the calligraphy thick brush into their illustrations.

My only most consistent "inspiration" is music. Even the video games and shows, the sole reason why I was so enamored by them was because of the sound design. As I am reaching my 30s, I am finding more experimental music to listen to everyday.I can recommend a ton. For now, I can't stop binging Kamen Rider Zero-One OSTs.It's on spotify!! Wow!! Please watch this show with me!!

7. Do you have any anatomy resources, figurine/mannequin for drawing recommendation?

I bought this Anatomy-kun and Anatomy-chan series just a few months ago! All four of these costed like $25 from a Chinese storefront. I hope you can find a good price, depends on your local store and such. They help me the most in positioning characters in different perspective and angle!

For Anatomy book, I got this one: Anatomy for the Artists by Sarah Simblet. [Store Link].

I'd say my anatomy observation isn't the most accurate out there. I prefer to draw body parts which are considered attractive to me (yeah).

8. Typically, are you more likely to draw with no idea in mind and have that turn into an illustration, or do you go into illustrations with a goal in mind from the start? which is more enjoyable?

It depends!

In commissions, I'd have first to memorize the information given to me, and then coordinate it into my already prior knowledge of the topic. It's a fun challenge for me to work with external direction!

With personal arts, this is also 50/50 in terms of "go wild" vs "work with intention". I can also definitely change my mind in mid-progress, scrap and redo everything over. Either method requires Patience, I don't see which one is considered more enjoyable to me (laughs).

This is also why I'd have to flat out refuse request commission of my typical "sketch page", or "just a rough sketch!", usually refer to my typical personal doodles. It is difficult to price something that is considerably spontaneous in nature. I don't set any certain standards when doodling for myself too. So um, even if they look "so easy" in the audience's eyes, they're... actually... not easy to make.

TL;DR Sometimes I go head empty no thought AND sometimes I want to draw with a structure.

9. Do you have plans to develop your original stories/ideas into anything?

I don't have any plan to develop my original projects into anything yet. I appreciate there is a tiny crowd that keeps an eye on them though!!

10. I've noticed you disabled most reply/message methods on tumblr and twitter. I assumed you might not like it, or something must've happened to you.

Yeah so basically I just quit social media. I've tried to come up with several explanations (or excuses? (ง ´͈౪`͈)ว ), the only consistent reasons are:

- I have zero energy. - Mental health weird. - Is in constant self-quarantine and not touching as much grass as I should.

Friends would come reach me out to ask "why? what happened?" out of concerns. And it'd be, too incorrect to say "oh no nothing happened!!". But, yeah, apparently, right now, having an offline hobby is actually more emotionally rewarding. Eh, on a side note-

If you're long-term mutual or a friend and would like to keep in touch with me pleaaaaase I'd love to have your discord. Come talk to me!! Kinkshame me!!! Email me!! Go to my email address!! (it's kohiu(@)outlook(dot)com OR contact(@)kohiu(dot)com ) (and YES i have to have to add the (@) and (dot) because I get so much spam mails for the span of 2-3 years, theyre SO BAD).But yeah please don't interact with just my public posts bc 99% I will miss those.

11. Do you post your art right away after completion? Or do you prefer to wait for awhile before posting? (Do you collect your arts from a different times before posting?)

With my years of realizing how I'd notice a million mistakes after posting, I prefer to Not post art after completion anymore.

It took a bit of self-discipline, and a private discord server for me to upload drawings I've finished in real-time. It does help a lot! Especially with large paintings that I cannot finish in one-sitting. I totally recommend you to create some sort of private blog platform in which you can keep in check with your progress. Discord server works for me because of how easily searchable it is. I can organize on-going projects in directory, and when I'm done with them, they can be exported with an app called "ExportChatExporter".

Being able to archive things... feels really good....

As of how I operate now with Patreon, Fanbox and Gumroad ebooks. Yes, I do prefer to post collage of drawings I've completed in different times. And these platforms suit me best. With celebratory (fan) arts, I did have to draw them prior to posting date, and sampled and then scheduled the publishing on different platforms. My apologies if it seemed like I was online when my posts were live (lmao), I only check on my posts once I start to schedule another one again.

12. Are you into any video game lately?

On the top of my head. the games I've managed to finish (last year) were Red Dead Redemption 2, Life is Strange 2, Hades, Obra Dinn, and some [redacted] ero games.

Right now I'm glued to Dont Starve (Together), and slowly going through Blasphemous.

13. Been a long time fan of yours but has there ever been times where you wanted to stop drawing?

I thought a lot about this question, and I don't know how to answer this genuinely without sounding grim.

I always have a difficult relationship with arts. One example was around summer last year, I'd break down crying in front of my friends how I'd like to quit drawing altogether, find a job related to my degree instead. Another example is around earlier this year, I reached out to a complete stranger that... went under really difficult circumstances with their arts. We're friends now!! Although we didn't get to find any solutions to our original problem (laughs).

These days I limit myself to post online, and I may one day stop posting arts altogether. I'm at peace with that idea now, I think.

At the very least, I never run out of things to draw.

Q&A ends here.

Those are all the questions I have gathered!! If you have any more questions uhhh, just email me. I will keep my anonymous google form open for now until I decide to close again. Thank you so much for everyone who have helped me this QnA!! I can now go back to sleep _(:3_|

[dzamie-oc]

05 - Space

Space prompt, eh? A good a time as ever for some hammer-space dragon! Featuring Sylvia, the loveliest little gold dragoness in the Dragonslayer Guild Hall.

Length: 2200 words Rating: M (noncon vore. Not sexual, but it’s still noncon and vore) Summary: Victoria, a dragonslayer in training, learns an unforgettable lesson about how hammerspace dragons work, and perhaps about assuming mundane explanations around fantastical creatures.

Minors DNI with this particular story. I am hella uncomfortable with the idea of y’all openly interacting with vore.

-----

“Hey, Sylvia, any chance I could borrow a gold coin? Need to test the magical affinity of this thing to some elements, and gold’ll do just fine,” the cheetah asked the little golden dragon perched on his shoulder. “Y’know, before I permanently affix the actual part.”

“Yeah, gimme a second. Hand, please.”

Behind them, Victoria watched the pair work - or, well, she watched Dzamie work, while Sylvia mostly just watched him from closer. She had initially stopped by to ask the katul about one of his swordwork lessons, but he seemed busy, so she was fine waiting... for ten minutes longer, maybe. A bit more if she thought she’d get to cuddle the adorable little dragoness. Yes, time and time again, Dzamie himself had repeated that every dragon can kill an incautious slayer, and it was almost always in reference to Sylvia, but the woman found it hard to take it seriously. Not that she’d ever say it aloud. Even if it turned out not to be true, Sylvia seemed to take pride in her rumored “danger,” and Victoria liked the little lady too much to rain on her parade.

A loud hiss filled the air, then Dzamie waved a gold coin in his hand back and forth, steam rising up from his paw and the coin. “What’s he doing that does that?” the human asked herself, aloud.

Dzamie, however, was the one to respond, without looking up. “Oh, fire spells come easy to me, so I use ‘em to quickly dry off stuff Sylvia gives me. Gives the workshop a certain smell, but it’s not really enough drool to bother humans.” His voice dropped to a mutter as he looked over his work, then nodded and spoke up again. “Yeah, that’ll work. But, yeah, if you ever catch me after a swim, I do the same thing to myself - just, with a silencing spell when there’s people around.”

Having been unofficially invited into the conversation, Victoria walked closer. The katul was working on what looked an awful lot like a gun from a video game. “Huh, forgot you did cosplay,” she remarked, “and, wait, why would what she gave you be wet?”

Two pairs of eyes swung to look at her, one tiny and yellow, one more her size and, well, also yellow, but with a purple aura around them that soon cleared. “I trust him to return items from my hoard,” Sylvia said, “and, naturally, anything I don’t bag up for protection gets wet.”

Victoria looked around, trying to find where the little dragoness might have put a hoard that she could somehow reach from Dzamie’s shoulder, to no avail. Luckily for her, Sylvia easily read the human’s face, smiled, swished her tail, and said, “Hmm, tell you what. You’re nice enough to me, good enough pets and all that.”

“Oh, is she the other one who’s been giving you strawberries?” Dzamie asked. He was looking back at the prop again, where a finger wreathed in green fire poked at a floating spell circle of the same color.

Sylvia huffed. “Anyway! Would you like to see my hoard, Victoria?” The golden dragoness sat up as tall as she could to deliver her next line, “just be aware that if you try to steal from me, your life is forfeit.”

Any tiny, intimidating effect she might have had was immediately discarded as her furry, feline perch moved his arm and sent her tumbling onto the table. In spite of herself, Victoria laughed. “Sorry, sorry!” she said, “it’s just, the timing. I would love to see your hoard, Sylvia. Assuming it’s not just that coin. Uh, no offense, you’re just, well, you-sized.”

Dzamie interrupted again, muttering “alright, let’s see if this doesn’t explode this time” as he picked up his project in one hand. “And Victoria, pop quiz! Zero percent of your grade. What species of dragon is this adorable golden derg?”

“Don’t call me a derg.”

“Adorable golden dragon,” the cheetah amended. The device in his hand whirred and glowed with his green magic, and successfully failed to explode, at which he gave a satisfied “heh.”

Victoria leaned against one of the other tables, trying to recall. “She’s a... hammer-something. Not hammerhead, hammer... hammerspace!” she said with a confident smile.

Dzamie nodded. “Fantacular. Just making sure you might know what you’re in for.” He turned to Sylvia. “I’m gonna go test this out proper. Back in a few.”

The dragoness on the table walked over to the edge and sat down, facing Victoria. “Okay, then, just set your sword... somewhere and give me your hands.” As she did so, unsheathing the weapon and laying it flat, Sylvia continued, “I never figured out whether it’s easier for you if I go slow or fast, but I like slow, so I’m gonna go slow.”

“Oh, and you’ll want to ditch the rest of your armor,” Dzamie added, gesturing to her with the toy gun, “trust me on this, it’s uncomfortable and then you just have to clean it unnecessarily.”

Victoria glared at him. “Sure, Teach, let me just strip down right in front of a male katul all alone in this room.”

Dzamie passed his prop to his other hand, then held up his fingers as he counted off, “okay, one, Sylvia’s here with us; two, just because I fit the stereotype doesn’t mean you should use it; and three-” he lifted his project, “- the only reason I’m coming back here in the next half hour is if this thing explodes on teleport. ...which you better not,” he muttered at the prop. Then, with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

For a solid minute, Victoria stared at the spot he’d vanished, almost daring him to teleport back in. Sylvia coughed to get her attention. “He’s not wrong, though. I don’t know about armor maintenance, but usually people prefer to be in comfortable clothes.” The little dragoness turned her head away and flicked her tail back and forth. “If, uh, if they wear any, but people like that are few and far between. Look, it is pretty cramped on the way to my hoard, but I’d be an awful friend if I insisted you get rid of things that aren’t weapons.”

“Things that aren’t weapons?”

The golden dragon gave her a flat look. “Can you really blame me, a dragon, for not trusting dragonslayers with weapons?”

“Fair point.” Victoria sighed. After a moment more of internal debate, she started to remove her armor. She asked Sylvia for some help, and before long, she stood before the hammerspace dragon in a sports bra and athletic shorts, glad that her friend was a dragon and not a katul, or a human.

Sylvia looked her up and down; Victoria jokingly asked if she thought she was hiding knives or something. “I... already checked, actually. Just thought dragonslayers wore something more underneath. Laundry day?”

The human grimaced. “It’s done, just... I wasn’t thinking earlier. Er, so, hands?”

“Hands!”

Victoria tentatively held her hands out in front of Sylvia, who pressed them together with her little paws. She brought her muzzle right next to the woman’s fingers, then looked up and said, “just so you know, I’m not letting you back down from this.” Before Victoria could ask what she meant by that, the dragoness opened her jaws and lunged forward.

She could hardly believe her eyes. Her arms looked just fine all the way down to her wrists, but there... they simply weren’t. Sylvia’s snout started, and her arms stopped. Her hands were surrounded by something warm, squishy, and wet, and when she tried to move them or pull them apart, they were pressed back in on each other. Then, a wave of pressure rolled down the hidden hands, and Victoria watched as more of her forearms also shared her hands’ plight. She wiggled her hands more, but there was no change. It took a few seconds for her mind to finally piece it all together: Sylvia was eating her. Somehow.

Another swallow pulled her elbows in, locking her arms out straight. In the back of her head, Victoria knew that she really ought to be panicking, that being eaten by a dragon was something she should not be going calmly into. But still, even as she bent over to the table, leaning down towards the dragon’s tiny body, it was hard to really take it seriously. After all, if she turned her head, she could see that not one of Sylvia’s scales were out of place, so CLEARLY the tiny dragon couldn’t be swallowing her.

A moment later, and she no longer had that problem. Her head was buried deep in somewhere dark pink, surrounded by hot, wet flesh, and any time she moved her arms or twisted her head, all she heard was wet “shlrk”s and squishes as she was guided back into position. The dragoness’s next swallow came more quickly, as though anticipating the human’s reaction:

Now that her eyes were no longer trying to tell her she wasn’t being eaten, Victoria came to the obvious conclusion: her friend had betrayed her trust for a meal. However, she found that she wasn’t scared, or terrified. Be it her own natural inclinations, or her, admittedly incomplete, training as a dragonslayer, Victoria instead found rage. With a primal yell, she twisted and turned, thrashing her arms to try to choke or even gag Sylvia, and she kicked one knee up, trying to feel her way into slamming into the tiny trickster. Unfortunately, the next thing she felt was her knee pinned against her belly, joining the rest of her upper body in the tight, slimy tunnel. Dragon drool got in her mouth, so she spat and sputtered as her hips, shorts, and other thigh were engulfed by the irrationally long throat. Between the heat, the steady, almost soothing noises of wet throatflesh squishing against her skin, the humid, heavy air, and simple exertion, Victoria soon found the fight slip away from her. Ankle-deep in what she thought was a very small dragon, the human sighed and let Sylvia close her jaws after her foot without a struggle.

When her head pressed against the ring of muscle, Victoria had resigned herself to her fate as dragon food. After all, the only person who knew where she was was Dzamie, and that katul would probably demand something-

Her head ran into something solid, and a clattering sound entered her ears, rather than just the constant squelching of wet flesh. Victoria opened her eyes, then sat up and- well, sat up, brushed her hair and Sylvia’s drool from her eyes, and then really opened them to see...

A pile of assorted coins, gold, silver, bronze, and more, bars of precious metals, gems of many colors, piled up nearly as tall as Victoria, herself! A trio of abstract sculptures - possibly part of a set, Victoria reasoned, though one could never really tell with that much abstraction. And, for some reason-

“So, how is it? I’m glad you calmed down eventually,” came Sylvia’s voice from all around.

“There’s... a train engine...” was all Victoria could say.

The little dragoness laughed. “Haha, yeah! One of my earlier additions, actually. I bet every hammerspace dragon does one of those, ‘okay, but CAN I eat that?’ things; I just decided to keep mine for a while, as a trophy, and over time, well, it’s a bit sentimental now.”

“You ATE and KEPT an ENTIRE TRAIN OUT OF THE-?!” the human shouted, dumbfounded, then faltered. “Uh, what’s it called, train house?”

Another laugh. “No, no, I ate a MOVING train - well, just pulling out, not that fast - and kept the engine car. The passenger car and all the delicious treats within are years gone.” There was a pause, and then. “Don’t worry, though. I’m much nicer these days, keep myself in the green zone.”

Victoria sighed, crawled over to the vehicle, and climbed into a seat. “Well, as far as places to die go, this place at least looks nicer than I expected.”

“Die? Who said anything about that? I’m not letting you stay in my stomach, you’ve got stuff to learn and I’ve got strawberries to eat, given only to dragons who DON’T have anyone stewing away in their bellies. ...willing meals notwithstanding.”

Another sigh, though this time of exasperation. “Sylvia... stomachs digest organic material. I am an organic material. I just hope I pass out before the pain gets to me too much.”

This time, there was raucous laughter, followed by a shriek and a swear. “Uh, sorry, fell off the table. You should attend more dragon biology lessons. And/or ask Dzamie for some notes, though if you do, prepare to have an entire encyclopedia dumped on you. Unabridged.”

“I’m safe?”

“You’re the biggest danger to yourself in there. Don’t smash yourself in the head with a sculpture and you’ll be fine.”

Victoria’s mind was still reeling. Nearly half a dozen earthshaking revelations in only a few minutes was not an easy thing to deal with. “And... you’ll let me out when I ask?”

“Or in half an hour. I want strawberries and that’s when there are strawberries. Oh, but make sure you aren’t holding anything when you come back up, or you WILL be eaten again, and it WON’T be to see all my shinies.”

This time, Victoria decided to take her threat seriously. And she had more reason to not “rain on her parade” about being a deadly maneater.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia – Chapter 65: Hit the Beach!

Presenting the next installment of my on-going, nextgen, MHA fic! Earlier chapters can be found here

Okay, maybe having rich friends wasn’t such a bad thing.  And since everyone had come along, Isamu didn’t feel like too much of a moocher.   Well, maybe a little.  Even with the seventeen members of Class 1-A, Izumi’s parents, and the butleriest butler to ever butler, there’d been plenty of space on the private jet.  He’d really underestimated Izumi’s family’s wealth.  That wasn’t how the upper half lived.  It was some kind of upper percentage that involved a lot of zeroes after the decimal point.

But laying on a tropical beach?   Yeah, he could get used to this.   Maybe if he got really successful as a Pro-Hero someday he could make enough money to do this kind of thing sometimes.  Mom and Dad would probably appreciate a real vacation too.  

After getting checked into the resort (Owning your own resort on your own island must be nice. They had an entire floor to themselves.), Class 1-A had done a bit of scattering to take advantage of the amenities. Aoyama had begged off going to the beach—understandable with how his Quirk absorbed light—and had instead decided to hit the spa, for which Izumi, Koda, and Tokoyami joined him (Izumi had practically insisted Tokoyami joint them, saying they had a specialist in spa treatments for people with feathers on staff).

Isamu’s gaze drifted out to the water, where several of his classmates were already horsing around.   The water looked extremely inviting, as clear as anything he had ever seen, gentling lapping onto the white sand shote.  Somehow, Sero (wearing the loudest swim trunks Isamu had ever seen in his life and which no-doubt were deliberately picked for how they clashed with his pink skin) had convinced Kocho to fly him out over the water.  Her wings were flapping hard and she was hovering probably a good six feet above the water.

“Okay, okay,” Sero said. “Now let me go!  Let me go!”

“I don’t know about this…” Kocho said.

“Look, you can either let me go, or I’ll squirm out on my own.”

Kocho just sighed. “Your funeral,” she said, and let him go.  She flapped hard and shot straight up, even as he shot straight down.

Sero tucked himself into a ball as he fell.  “CANNONBALL!”

SPLASH

Sero hit the water hard, sending water flying everywhere and utterly soaking Sato, who was filming the whole thing, as well as Ojiro and Tensei Iida, who’d been in the water too. Ojiro was wearing one of those long-sleeved uv protective swimsuits, in bright neon green, which she’d said was for “visibility.”   Which he supposed made sense.  If she was wearing less, it’d be hard to spot her if something went wrong.  She also had a flower in her hair and was wearing large, bright yellow sunglasses, which gave some general definition to where her face was.

Sero popped up out of the water with a laugh and grin.  He fired off a double thumbs’ up. “Did you catch that, viewers?  You’re just been Sero-Bombed!  Boom!”

“TAKUMA!” Ojiro screamed, arms flailing wildly.  “Did you have to do it so close?!  Look what you’ve done to my hair!”

“Aw, c’mon, Kimmie,” Sero said.  “It’s not anybody’s going to be able to tell.”

There was a moment of silence, the air thick with tension.  That had definitely been the wrong thing to say.  As if guided by some kind of primal instinct, Sato and Iida were backing away slowly.  And then Ojiro set herself upon Sero, fists flailing and hitting him upon the arms and shoulders again and again.

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, TAKUMA!  YOU KNOW THAT’S NOT NICE!  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SCREW AROUND LIKE THAT?!”

“Ow!  Ow!  Kimmie, you know my weaknesses is being smacked!  Ow, ow!  Just not the face, okay?  Please, not the face!”

“Don’t worry,” Sato called out.  “I’m getting this all on film!  Kick his butt, Kimmie!”

“I really must protest this assault on my boyfriend,” Iida piped in.  “No matter how misguided his actions were, violence is not the proper response!”

“Guys, I am so sorry,” Kocho called out circling around above.  “I had no idea it was going to be that big!”

Isamu looked over to his left, where Midoriya was occupying another one of the beach chairs. “Should… should we be stopping this?” Ojiro’s outbursts usually ran themselves out fairly quickly, but still…

Midoriya shrugged.  “They’re not hurting anybody, except maybe Sero. And it’s my vacation. I’m off duty and I say let them blow off some steam.”

Well, that was a different answer than he’d been expecting.  Maybe Midoriya was taking Aizawa’s admonishment to have the rest of the class to rely on him less to heart.  Of course, Aizawa had also told him that he needed to step up his own leadership game and that thought was just terrifying.

So he was going to file all of that under things he wasn’t going to think about right now.

Kocho, meanwhile, had flown away from the chaos and landed next to them.  She wore a backless black one piece swimsuit and had explained that while she liked the beach, she couldn’t really get her wings too wet or she’d be unable to fly.  

“Definitely time for a strategic retreat,” she said.  She gave her wings a flick, causing some stray drops of water to fly off, before folding them behind her.  Her antenna flicked up for a moment before settling.  “Sorry I set that off.”

Isamu laughed.  “Trust me,” he said, “that would have happened sooner or later no matter what.  That’s just who they are.”

“Definitely getting that,” Kocho said.  

“Besides,” Midoriya added, “Sero is extremely persuasive.  He even managed to talk me into standing on the ceiling once for some kind of “upside down room” video.”

Okay, Isamu made a mental note to see if that was somewhere on Sero’s Viewtube channel.  Because that sounded hilarious.

“Ooooh, boys,” a sing-song voice called out from somewhere behind them.  Isamu felt a chill go down his spine as he realized it was Mineta.  

***

Despite his words to Haimawari, Toshi’s roles as “Team Dad” and class representative were hard to completely shake, so he did keep an eye on Ojiro and Sero, even as Sato and Tensei tried to pry them apart.

Mineta’s call, however, distracted him from anything else.  He’d head that particular tone of voice often enough over the years, usually when she was feeling particularly attention-starved and was going to hit on someone.  

“Should we look?” Haimawari asked, sounding a bit panicked.  

“She’s just going to keep making noise until we do,” Toshi told him.  

“I take it this happens a lot?” Kocho asked.

“You have no idea,” Haimawari said.

“You all better turn around!” Mineta called out, proving his point.  “I mean, you’re going to want to feast your eyes on me anyway, but Midoriya’s really going to want to see this.”

Oh, that couldn’t possibly be good.

Reluctantly and with sinking dread, Toshi turned to look.  He could hear both Haimawari and Kocho suck in a sharp breath and it wasn’t hard to understand why.  There was Mineta.  And there was a lot of Mineta on display. There was also a cow-print bikini, of which there was not a lot.  Kaminari was standing next to her, wearing a considerably more modest one-piece in yellow and black, and looking vaguely embarrassed.  

“She cannot possibly be real,” he heard Kocho say.

“…Pretty sure she is,” Haimawari squeaked.  As both a frequent target for Mineta’s flirtations and having had some accidental if direct contact with her during the Sports Festival, he was qualified to weigh in on this.  Mineta had a way of getting into people’s heads like that.  

And, well, Toshi had eyes. And he was a guy.  He’d be lying if he said that between her bikini and her b…ody proportions, that Mineta didn’t have an effect on him.  He felt more than a little flustered just looking at her.

“Like my bikini?” Mineta asked, posing so that she thrust her chest out and also somehow emphasized her rear as well.  “I bought it special for this vacation!”

“I still can’t believe you have that,” Kaminari said.  “You’re almost naked.  Hell, you’d probably show less if you were.  Your parents can’t possibly know you have that.”

“Just because you’re lifetime president of the itty-bitty committee, Chi, is no reason to get snippy,” Mineta replied, turning so rapidly that it set parts of her swaying in ways that he felt he probably shouldn’t be watching.

“The hell did you just say?!”  Kaminari’s Cords snapped up, crackling with electricity.  “Say that again, Mika.  Say that again and we’ll see how much fat conducts electricity!”

“Oooh, kinky!”

There was also, Toshi realized, a familiar head of blue-black hair behind the two of them. Sora was taller than Mineta, but between Mineta’s horns and the fact that there was a lot of Mineta competing for attention, he hadn’t noticed her at first. He heard a soft cough.

“Oh!  Right!” Mineta said, switching gears with such suddenness that Toshi was sure he heard the clutch pop.  “I almost forgot the real reason I wanted your attention.”

She made a dramatic gesture with her arms.  “Presenting… the tall, the brainy, the hot, the runner up for best boobs in the class… Sora Iida!”

Mika took a few steps to the side and Toshi got his first look at his girlfriend since they’d split up to their rooms.  He’d asked if she’d wanted him to wait, but had somehow been overruled by Mineta, who’d said she needed to talk to Sora first.  

In retrospect, that really should have been a warning sign.

“Hello, Toshi,” Sora said. She was smiling, but he immediately noticed that it was nervous and uneasy.  Her posture was more hesitant and awkward than usual and in stark contrast to Mineta’s confidence.  “Do you like what you see?”

Sora was wearing a bikini. It wasn’t as small as Mineta’s, but it was definitely a bikini.

Toshi was not a blind man. He was aware that his very tall girlfriend was also very busty.  In reasons why he liked her, this fact ranked very, very low.  Which wasn’t to say he hadn’t thought about that, in late night moments, or when she hugged him tightly and pressed up against him.

“…Why are all the girls in this class so hot?” Kocho said.  “Oh, no, I said that out loud…”

“Not looking at my friend’s girl, not looking at my friend’s girl, I’ve got a girlfriend” Haimawari said, quietly and quickly.  He continued repeating the phrase.

He became very aware that he hadn’t said anything in a while.

“Toshi?” Sora asked, concerned, her own nervousness seemingly forgotten for a moment.  “Are you all right?”  She waved her hands to try and attract his vision.

“See?” Kaminari said, throwing her hands in the air.  “You broke him!  I could have told you he’s too innocent for this!”

“Well, excuse me for trying to help spice up their relationship!”

“No one asked you to!”

“I’m okay!” Toshi yelled, more loudly and quickly than he intended.  He felt his face go red. Either that or he was on fire.  It was hard to say at this point.  “You… you look amazing, Sora,” he said.  

“Mineta said you would like it,” she said, approaching him. He tried very hard to keep eye contact and only failed a couple of times.  Mineta and Kaminari were still fighting, but he tuned them out.  He was also pretty sure he heard Haimawari and Kocho high-tailing it out of there.  “May I?”   Sora gestured to the beach chair Haimawari had vacated.

Toshi gulped and nodded, trying hard not so stare as he she went by.  

“She said that girlfriends “dress sexy” for their boyfriends and that I would be a good girlfriend if I did this for you,” Sora went on.  “She said she wanted to help and had several bikinis prepared for me to try on.”

Toshi buried his face in his hands.  Eventually, he brought his head up.  “Sora, what’s rule one when dealing with anything Mineta claims?”

Sora thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers.  “The same for scientific studies!  Always corroborate with a second source!  Preferably Tokoyami if available.”

He smiled.  “Right,” he said.  “She probably just wanted to see you in a bikini and to give me a heart attack.”   He scooted his chair closer to hers and put an arm around her shoulders, mindful of her Jetpack pipes.  He’d learned the hard way that the skin around them could be quite sensitive. That particular discovery had left him red in the face for quite a while.

“Besides,” he said, “you don’t have to do anything different or special for me.  I mean, unless you want to.”  He added that last part hastily, realizing the gap in what he’d said. Both Sora and her brother sometimes needed extra explanations about proper social conventions.  It was why Mika had been able to fool her so easily. “I like you,” he said.  “I like you in your uniform, in your costume, in your regular clothes.  And I do like you in this.  But do you like you in this?”

Sora frowned. “Undetermined,” she said.  “I am not used to wearing so little.  It seems very impractical.”

“Yeah, there is that,” he agreed.  

“But I am happy that you like what you see,” she added thoughtfully.  “I suspect more evidence is needed.”

Deciding to be bold, he leaned over and kissed her cheek softly.

“Whatever you want, that’s your decision.  I’m not going to tell you how to dress.”

Sora nodded, seemingly satisfied with that.  “I am still learning how to be a good girlfriend, Toshi.  I do not want to get this wrong.  I do not really know what boys want.”

“Hey,” he said.  “I said it before, we’re learning together, okay?”

“Okay.”

And it was.

“Though I did notice you were definitely staring at Mineta…”

***

“Oh, this feels so good,” Mika said, as she slid low into the hot spring, purple hair floating around her head.   She made a very distracting moan.  “I swear, Todoroki, this place really does have everything.”

Chihiro shot her a look. “Do you and the spring need a few moments alone?”   It was a sharper barb that she really should have made, but she was still annoyed at Mika for the “itty-bitty” comment earlier.  It wasn’t her fault she took after Mom or that most of the rest of the girls in the class were more… shapely than her!  And compared to Mika or Iida, everybody looked small.

The look Chihiro had shot her was nothing compared to the look Kirishima-Bakugo gave her.  “If you’re going to be gross,” she said, lips curled back in a snarl, “you’ve got a room.”

“Relax,” Mika said, not looking at her.  “I’m just really enjoying this.”

“When the Yaoyorozu family designed this resort, they wanted to make sure that every luxury was available to the guests and to themselves,” Izumi said, sinking a little lower in the water herself.  Already, her pale skin was beginning to flush from the heat.  “They worked with a geokinetic and a hydrokinetic to craft it according to very exact specifications.”

“Geeze,” Kocho said, “just how rich is your family?”   She was sitting the farthest back, wings kept above the waterline.  “Sorry, that was probably rude.”

It was, honestly, a common reaction when hanging out with Izumi.

“You know that old kid’s manga?  About the kid who could turn stuff to gold and it made his family like, mega rich?” Chihiro said.  

“That would not work,” Iida said.  She’d slid low in the water too.  Apparently her Jetpack pipes were self-sealing.  “It would drive down the value of gold and ultimately make it worthless. Furthermore, any Quirk like that would be highly monitored by the government for misuse…”

“Just go with it,” Chihiro said, trying to avoid a lengthy discussion.  Iida could get too caught up in the facts and miss the actual point fairly easily sometimes.

“Oh yeah, I remember that one,” Kocho said.

“Good,” Chihiro replied. “Triple that.  At least.”

Kocho’s dark eyes went wide and her antenna snapped straight up.  “Ah. Got it.”

“That is,” Izumi began, raising a hand as though to object.  She paused, as if unsure.  She did like magna, Chihiro recalled, but couldn’t remember if she’d read that one. Izumi looked over to Kirishima-Bakugo, who gave her a shrug.   “Not entirely inaccurate.”

“So Kocho,” Ojiro began. She was wearing flowers in her hair again, the only other indication other than a slight ripple in the water around her body, of where she was.  “As the newest member of the class, we have a lot of questions.  Like, are you seeing anybody?  The gossip mill demands to know!”

“Perhaps give her a little space before interrogating her, Ojiro?” Koda suggested.   “Or at least on asking something so personal?”

“It’s fine,” Kocho said, waving a hand.  “I’m single, Ojiro.  Not really looking either.”

“Okay, so that’s means it’s just me, Iida, and Mineta who have boyfriends?” Ojiro asked.  “How is this possible?  Are none of you interested in guys?!”

Ugh, no, she really did not need to hear this.  Chihiro wondered if she could hold her breath and go underwater long enough for Ojiro to stop talking.  She already had spent way too much time thinking about the fact that Monoma had kissed her.  Not that any of the rest of the girls knew, but she really didn’t need Ojiro finding out about it.  She’d never hear the end of it.  She absolutely did not need the invisible girl “shipping” her with Monoma. She didn’t like him, even if she’d ended up feeling sorry for him, and he didn’t like her, and yet…

She hadn’t exactly hated it either.

So of course running away to a tropical vacation had been the perfect way to avoid having to talk to him about it.  

“You do get there’s more than just being interested in boys, don’t you, Ghosty?” Kirishima-Bakugo growled.  

“She’s right,” Mika said, rising up out of the water enough to count on her fingers.   “Wow.  There’s something I never thought I’d say.  There’s also being interested in girls.  And non-binary people.  And non-gender identifying people and…”

“Not the point I was making, Horse-Girl.”

“But she’s right!” Ojiro said.  “I’m open to the gossip mill of all relationships!  I do not discriminate gossip on the basis of sexuality!”  There was a slight shift in the water, as though she was leaning forward.  “So you all better tell me if you get into a relationship!  Not like that relationship hiding hunk Shoji!”

Wait, what?  Like just about anyone attracted to male and possessing a pulse, Chihiro admitted that Shoji was obscenely attractive.   Muscles for days, surprisingly soft features, great hair…  But he kept to himself and she hadn’t had any idea about this!

“What?!” Mika shouted, her eyes wide.   “Nooooo! I was slowly wearing down his resistance!  By graduation, I’d have been all over the Shoji train!”

“No, you weren’t” Chihiro snapped.  Some days, Mika was just flat out exhausting.  She was absolutely her best friend in the world, but sometimes…  “And you already have a giant boyfriend!  You don’t need two!”

Mika laughed as she leaned back in the water.  “Oh, I’m definitely too much woman for just one partner.”   Chihiro didn’t dignify that with a response.

“He does!”  Ojiro said, clapping happily.  “Her name’s Emiko and she’s really cute!”

“He does enjoy his privacy,” Tokoyami said.  Frog Shadow was bobbing contentedly in the water next to her.  “But I am happy for him.”   She didn’t sound entirely convincing to Chihiro’s ears.

“You’re just sad it wasn’t you!” Frog-Shadow offered, eyes snapping open.

“I am not…” Tokoyami started, her voice warbling. The feathers on her head were starting to stand up and Chihiro could swear she saw a little blush under them.  Her hands flew to her beak. “Qui… quiet you!”

“You can’t silence me when I’m right!” Frog-Shadow declared, before Tokoyami shoved her under the water.  She kicked and fought and bubbles churned, but Tokoyami didn’t let her back up until she’d calmed down.

Koda tapped a rocky hand on her chin, a faraway look in her eyes.  “Good for him,” she said softly.  “Shoji is a kind soul and deserves the happiness.”  Mika had said she was having some body image and confidence issues lately.   Of course, Mika had also said she’s had a plan to rectify that.  As someone who’d let herself be talked into more than one harebrained scheme, she had a pretty dim view of Mika’s plans.

It was only then that she noticed Kirishima-Bakugo had her eyes closed and her hands over her ears. Slowly, she pulled her hands back. “Are they done talking yet, Iz?  I can’t tell.”

“I am uncertain,” Izumi said.  She turned back to the group and asked, diplomatically.  “Will this be going on much longer?”  A smile tugged at her lips, obviously amused by, if not particularly invested in the discussion.

“Maybe?” Mika said. “All in favor of talking about Shoji more?”

Even Izumi started to raise a hand at that.   Kirishima-Bakugo gave her a wide eyed stare of betrayal.

“What?” Izumi said. “Even if I am not interested in him romantically or sexually, he is very aesthetically pleasing.”

Kirishima-Bakugo crossed her arms and closed her eyes again.  “…Yeah, okay, he is.”

“…did she just admit to an interesting in something other than violence?” Ojiro asked.  “Isn’t that a sign of the apocalypse?”

“I’m on vacation, so pretend I growled at you and threated you with explosive death,” Kirishima-Bakugo said.

No, Chihiro was still pretty sure that the sign of the apocalypse had been Monoma kissing her, but weren’t signs supposed to come in threes…?

“Okay,” Ojiro said, “we’re all agreed.  Everybody’s attracted to Shoji.  But since he’s off the table, who else are we crushing on?  What about you, Kaminari?  Any guys got your eye?”

“Definitely not Monoma!” she said quickly.  She needed to dispel any idea about that as quickly and loudly as possible.

“We… didn’t mention Monoma,” Ojiro said.

…crap.

***

“Chihiro, you open this door this minute!” Mika shouted, pounding heavily on the door of her friend’s hotel room with her first.

“Go away, Mika!” Chihiro snapped from within.  

“I can wait all day, Chi.” Mika crossed her arms.  “You bolted out of there like you were on fire.”  After mentioning Shiro.   Which was kind of her fault.  And by kind of, she meant completely.   She’d messed that one up by several degrees of magnitude.  But Chi hadn’t said anything about it to her, so she’d hoped it would all die down and she could go back to trying to convince Shiro to date Akaya instead.  

Not that she didn’t want the best for Chihiro of course.  She was her best friend.  And she knew Shiro better than just about anyone; he really was a good guy under some of that bluster.  Probably her best friend after Chihiro, come to think of it, on top of being her ex.

“Look, you want to talk about it?” she asked.  “Or I can get Akaya or Torodoki or, I dunno, Tokoyami?”  …Probably not Akaya, actually.  That conversation might lead down roads she did not want to travel.

No answer this time. Also not a good sign.

Mika pounded on the door one more time.  “Chi… can we talk?  Please. This is actually important.  About Shiro.”

The door opened a crack, revealing a glaring Chihiro.  Sparks danced on the ends of her Cords.  Not a good sign.   But she stepped back enough to let Mika in, then flopped down on the bed.

“I know, I know, I made a total idiot out of myself back there,” she wailed, staring up at the ceiling. “I just let everybody know I maybe kind of have some kind of crush thing going on for Monoma.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Mika said.

“Of course it is! He’s… he’s such a…” Chihiro made gestures in the air, which were copied by her Cords.  “He’s Monoma!  The guy who thinks he’s our hated rival! With that stupid smug face and perfect hair! And now that Ojiro knows it, the whole world probably already knows!”

“She said she wouldn’t,” Mika assured her, coming to stand near the bed.  “I think she was too stunned to make much sense of it anyway. And it’s not like anybody knows he kissed you.”

Chihiro sat up so fast Mika was pretty sure she’d broken the sound barrier.  “How do you know about that?”

Oops.

“Well, you see,” Mika began.

Before she could get any further, Chihiro interrupted her.  “I swear, if the next words out of your mouth are “I can explain,” I will tase the shit out of you.  Because I have been trying to make sense of this ever since it happened and if I find out you had something to do it with…”

Well, that would definitely explain the moodiness and irritability.  She’d been ready to blame it on something else entirely.   “Can I at least sit down?” she asked.

Chihiro shrugged and scooted over on the edge of the bed to make room.  Mika took the seat, but gave her a bit of space.  “Okay, so I can explain—don’ttaseme!”   She flinched, but all Chihiro did was give her an eyeroll.

“So after the Internships, Shiro was feeling pretty depressed.  He was going to quit, as soon as exams were over.  Big blow to his confidence, but not really my story to spill.”

“Yeah, he told me that,” Chihiro said.  

“And you remember Akaya was feeling pretty depressed too, after some of the stuff that happened during her Iinternship, with those mutant-prejudiced assholes.”

“Dumbasses.”

Mika nodded her agreement. People could be real asses sometimes. And somebody as sweet and innocent as Akaya definitely didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.   “But anyway, she was feeling real down about herself and her appearance.  So I had a couple of friends who were both feeling depressed and I ended up working on a plan with Anime that would help both of them…”

Chihiro buried her face in her hands.  “Mika, Fukidashi is the one person the planet with worse plans than you!  I’m not sure she can actually tell the difference between fiction and reality.”

It didn’t look like Chihiro had put all the pieces together yet.   Crap.  That meant she’d have to explain more.

“Sooo,” she went on, “I sent him a text after the exams saying a ‘mutual acquaintance’ was feeling down and maybe he’d like to come by and cheer her up.”   She sucked in a breath.  Chi may have doubted her own intelligence at times, but this wasn’t going to take much to figure out.

Chihiro frowned.  “And there I was when he showed up, depressed as hell because I nearly caused us to flunk.  I thought he was acting funny! Even for him!  No wonder!  He probably thought you meant me!”

Before Mika could blink, Chihiro’s Cords shot out, less than a couple centimeters from her face.  No sparks, thankfully, but that could change in an instant.  “Did. You. Tell.  Him.  To. Kiss.  Her?!”

“Absolutely not,” Mika said.   “He came up with that on his own.  I think you really gave him a breakthrough, Chi.”

Chihiro sagged, her Cords drooping, letting go of some of that agitation.  “What am I going to do, Mika?”

“Well, he did say he was maybe going to ask you out…”

“What?”  Chihiro’s head snapped back up again.

“Give him a shot,” Mika said.  “He’s really not nearly as bad a guy as most people think he is.  He’s just… a lot.”  She gestured at her chest.  “But he liked me even before these came in, so he’s obviously not just in it for the physical stuff.”

She opted not to mention that there’d been an intermediate phase where Shiro had been hung up on Kirishima-Bakugo.  Like Granny always said, sometimes, maybe don’t kick the rattler’s den.

“Ugh, but he’s so… him!  With his stupid blue eyes and stupid fancy hair and stupid little smile…”

Yeah, okay, Chihiro had it bad.

“Look,” Mika said, “date him. Or don’t.  That’s your decision.  But you gotta stop worrying about what people will think about it.  You think I worry about stuff like that?”

That, at last, got a laugh. “No, but you’re shameless.”

“One of my many talents.”

Chihiro shook her head. “Yeah, well… maybe I’ll wait and see what he does.”

“Bonus, if you do date him, I can tell you alllll kinds of secrets.”

“You two were tweens when you dated!  How do you have secrets on him?”

“Because he’s still one of my friends and I still know how to get him flustered.”

She shook her head again. “Going to need you to be straight with me, Mika.”

“I think you and I both know how much I cannot do that, Chi.”

That got an actual smile out of her friend, which meant it had worked.  “Not what I meant and you know it, Mika,” Chihiro said.  “You’d really be okay with me dating your ex?”

It was a good question. They were two of her best friends. But she didn’t harbor any particular plans to get back together with Shiro.  Being “just friends” with a guy was actually kind of nice.  Not that she’d admit that to anyone.  And not that she’d object if he wanted to get back together or even just get a little frisky, of course…

“Look,” Mika said, “I’ve got a buffet table out there.  And one of the most gorgeous hunks of man on the planet.  So if you wanna shack up with Shiro, be my guest.”

Chihiro went red. “Look, just because you’re that fast..!”

Mika laughed.  “Relax, Chi.  But be my guest.  Sounds like you guys kind of connected.  I’m happy for you, if it works out.”

Chi smiled at that, and Mika finally felt a little relief.  “Thanks, Mika.”

Of course, now she needed a new plan to help Akaya.  Maybe she could just bite the bullet and shove her and Aoyama in a closet until Frenchie expressed his super-obvious feelings…

Chihiro poked her with a Cord.  “You’ve plotting again.  Stop that.”

“No.”

“We were having a nice moment and now you’re back to being impossible.  Why are you like this?”

“Just lucky, I guess.”

***

The sun was low in the sky when Class 1-A returned to the beach, this time gathering around a bonfire. Todoroki had volunteered to simply start it with her Quirk, but Kirishima-Bakugo had declared that “cheating” and had proceeded to start one by hand.  For someone who was so angry with everyone else, she was surprisingly soft when it came to Todoroki.  Koharu wondered if there was some kind of history or something there.  At the hot spring, Todoroki had basically said she wasn’t interested in romance or sex, so it probably wasn’t anything like that, but…

Together, they made a big ring around the fire, the flames crackling red-orange in the darkening sky.  She liked twilight, when the day gave way to the night, starting to bring things to a close.  Koharu’s Moth Quirk actually have her excellent night vision, though she didn’t have the problems with bright lights that some of her family did. She had a cousin that was pretty much blind for anywhere up to a half hour after somebody turned on the lights.

The others were already starting to sit together in what she was learning were some of the usual pairs and groups, most of them talking animatedly.  Midoriya was sitting with his girlfriend, Sora Iida.  Next to them were Shinso, Tokoyami and Frog-Shadow, and Shoji.  Then there was Todoroki and Kirishima-Bakugo, Shoji, Aoyama, and Koda, and Mineta and Kaminari.  After that, there was Ojiro, Sero, and Sato.  She took a seat next to them, with Haimawari on her left completing the circle.

“Having fun?” Haimawari asked.  

She nodded.  “I am.  I was a little nervous about coming along.  I mean, I’ve only known Ojiro and her friends for a few weeks, and you and Midoriya for a little less than that, so I don’t really know if I feel like I belong here yet…  But everybody’s been really nice and welcoming.”

Haimawari smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed.  “They’re like that.  I was the same way, you know, when we started.  They all knew each other, and there I was, the new guy moving into the dorms and being in class with them.  But Midoriya reached out to me and made sure I was included.  Him, Tokoyami, Izumi, and Shinso.  The first friends I had here.”

For a moment, Koharu’s thoughts drifted back to her General Education classmates, especially her best friends, Mogura and Tokuda.  She wouldn’t be living with them anymore and would have different classes.  It would make it harder to find time to get together, though not impossible.  But she definitely didn’t want them to drift apart.  They’d surely understand the differing demands of the Hero Course, but she knew they’d be hurt if they thought she was forgetting about them.

Maybe she ought to try and do something to bring her old class and new class together.

“Trust me,” Haimawari assured her.  “Before you know it, it’ll be like you’ve been here since day one.”

“I sure hope so,” she said.

“You will,” he said. “Trust me.  They’ve got history.  But now that you’re here with us?  You’ve got future.  And that’ll turn into history.”

He made a good point, she had to admit.  

“Hey, look, Kocho,” Sero said, leaning over to show her his phone. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a pattern that made her eyes hurt just to look at.  His phone was open to a Viewtube page, showing Sato’s earlier recording of his cannonball and subsequent Ojiro-induced smacking.  It had been titled “Cannon-Fail.”

“Eighty thousand hits and counting!” Sero told her, grinning.  

“So you dropping out of the sky and Ojiro beating the stuffing out of you is hit worthy?” she asked.

“Oh yeah!  Kimiko yelling and hitting things rates really high with our subscribers.  Hope nobody’s getting off on it though…”

Koharu blinked slowly. “I do not get internet fame.”

Sero just laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m an expert at this. Stick with us, we’ll make you a star!”

Before she could make a counter argument to that, Shinso piped up.  “Oh!  Oh! Kaminari!  Are you going to play?  Are you?”  The short boy was practically bouncing with excitement.  “Pleeeeeaaasseee?”

Kaminari had indeed brought a case of some kind with her, what looked like some kind of small, guitar-ish instrument.  She opened it up and Koharu realized it was a ukulele.  She knew the electric girl’s mother was a musician on top of being a Hero, but hadn’t realized that she played too.  She still had a lot to learn about her new classmates!

“Only because you asked so nice, Shinso,” Kaminari said.  She strummed a few chords and made a few minor adjustments to the instrument before she started to play.  “So this one goes out to all of us, for passing our exams, for surviving our Internships, for making it through the first term.  To our Sports Festival winners.  To old friends and new friends.  And to our hero academia.”

“Hero too, I am a hero too

My heart is set and I won't back down

Hero too, strength doesn’t make a hero

True heroes stand up for what they believe

So wait and see

So wait and see…”

[vios-rockland-corner]

Life in Rockland 1

[Author’s note:  “Life in Rockland” is a creative writing project utilizing a specific OC in place of the MC for the “Rumors of Rockland” series.  I do not own any part of the Rockland universe, only my OC.  Fair warning, creative writing is not my forte.  This is a means of practice and a fun way to enjoy the content further].

Sasha Holmes is new to Rockland and just had quite an interesting day.

 Setting: After game events

Play: Rumors of Rockland- Article 1

[Spoilers below for RoR Article 1]

Sasha’s Choices:

[“Like the guy from Resident Evil?”]

[“Ah ha, what exactly do you have to do to look like you’re from around here?”]

[“Are you serious?”]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe you’re still not unpacked yet.  Hasn’t it been almost a week since you moved?”

The voice came from Sasha’s laptop.  She was busy multi-tasking while video-chatting with her best friend Pierce.  Well she could see his face IF she turned over from rummaging through boxes and laying out things on the floor.  Some might consider this rude, but Pierce just found it a little hilarious.

“Look it’s a lot of stuff okay?  Besides, I was busy this week going back and forth with work preparations and trying to get the layout of the place,” Sasha said with a huff, looking over her shoulder at the computer.

“Sounds like too much work. You should’ve just stayed home. What’s wrong with waiting a few more years before moving out?”

“Nothing.  Nothing’s wrong with it.  I just...”

“Wanted to break your best friend’s heart?” Pierce gives a very exaggerated pout.  Sasha turns around and smiles coyly.  She crawls over to the computer and lays in front of it, resting her chin on folded arms.

“No.  Even though you kind of deserve it sometimes.”

“I COULD always go easy on you in pool you now?  I don’t mind toning it down.  You’re not gonna beat me otherwise.”

“First off, I don’t want a pity play from you.  Second, you know damn well how close I got last game.”

“Yeah, only to hit the eight-ball into the complete opposite pocket you called. Gotta say, it was almost impressive how you hilariously made a masterful bounce into the wrong fucking pocket,” he grins, holding back his laughter.

“Well I mean that counts as skill doesn’t it?”

“Yeah like scoring a basketball shot for the other team.”

“Whatever, jerk.”

“But back on topic…”

“Okay yeah, look.  I love my hometown, my parents, and even your obnoxious butt.  But I just…didn’t want to get rooted.  I didn’t want to be living with my parents the whole time.  I didn’t want to know ONLY my home.”

“You worry too much.  The rest of the world’s not going to get up and leave if you take too long to hit the road Sasha.”

“I know that, but I wanted…a challenge.”

“A challenge?  You?  I thought you liked everything neat and controlled.  You want to throw things out of wack now?”

“Nothing elaborate.  Just a life challenge.  Take care of my own expenses and start from the ground up.  Meet people on my own and establish a career.”

“I feel like you’re letting your childhood slip away here.”

“Pierce, we’re not kids.”

“YOU sure as hell aren’t.  You always took freakin part-time jobs during college, and full-time jobs in the summer. I had to DRAG you out to the pub and parties for your own sanity.”

“Well moving and covering the cost of living is EXPENSIVE, Pierce.”

“Jesus, how much did you have saved up?”

“Enough so that I could get a place living by myself,” Sasha smiled proudly.

“Not that I don’t think that’s an impressive achievement girl, but I think I would have felt a little better if you had a roommate.  You’re out there by yourself I mean.”

“Look I worked hard for this, so I want my privacy.  I also didn’t really feel comfortable with finding a roommate way out here.”

“You didn’t pick your roommate in college either though.”

“Yeah, but that was our local college Pierce.  I had friends and family right nearby, so if things got weird I had help.  I’m a few hours away from all that now.”

“A ‘few hours’ you say.  It’s like, you’ve gone too short a distance to even warrant a move, and yet just far enough to making it a hassle with visits.”

“I disagree.  I think it’s the perfect distance.  I wanted to be able to visit home, but I didn’t want the temptation to go running home every chance I could get.  Not impossible to go home though.  The point here Pierce is for me to be ‘independent,’” she huffed.

“Whatever.” Pierce rolled his eyes.

“Say what you will, the deed is done.”

“So uh…Rockland.  Why?”

Sasha shrugged.  “No particular reason.  Just seemed like the best choice.  I looked at job advertisements for surrounding areas by distance, looked at their reviews and job pay and what kind of areas they were located at.  The job in Rockland was just better pay from my current job, and the place is small but still attracts tourists.  Means I don’t have to worry about being overwhelmed, but at the same time it SHOULD have just enough amenities and attractions to keep me entertained.”

“Oh?  Entertain yourself huh?  Last I checked that was my job.  Isn’t your idea of fun sitting at a café and going through files?” He smirked.

“Very funny.  Did you forget all the movies we’d watch together too?  I don’t need a buddy for that, and I’ll find other hobbies here. Maybe I’ll start running again.”

“Well good.  Not like you’re gonna get any excitement from your current job.  I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to push yourself to do something a little more interesting.”

“Thaaat’s what the hobbies are for Pierce.  The job is just for stability.”

“Could have added a little more drama to your life if you’d just decided to follow your namesake.”

“Pierce, literally no one in my family has ever been a detective.  DESPITE our last name.  It’s just a random name picked by a random author for a character that became randomly popular.  It is not a go ahead to pursue a career in criminal justice.”

“Seriously, why has NO ONE in your family ever tried to be a detective?”

“Because it requires you to see a lot of messed up shit?  I think I’ll pass.  I mean…if it makes you feel better, I had a great uncle who was a PI.”

“Really?? What was that like!?” Pierce looked a little excited.

“Honestly?  From the stories I heard, he just got a lot of crazies paying him.  People paranoid about being stalked or just using him as a way to harass others.  Wasn’t exactly fun work.”

“Bummer,” he said in a dejected tone.  “Well, I guess if you’re in a place like Rockland, probably wouldn’t get much action anyway.”

“What makes you say that?  Haven’t you been here before?”

“Just SOUNDS plain to me.  LITERALLY makes me think of rocks.  Yeah I’ve been there.  But that was like, when I was a kid?  Just visiting.  Was never for long.  Uncle was there.”

“Right.  Younger you was probably also too busy running around and sticking his hands in the dirt to actually pay attention to what was around you.”

“Yeeeeep that sounds like me,” he smirked.

“Well, I don’t know if the place has changed since you were little or you literally just have zero awareness of what’s around you, but I wouldn’t EXACTLY call this place boring.  Not after today.”

“Oh?” Pierce leaned in, curious.  “I’m so sorry, what WAS your day like dear Sasha?”

“Well, I was…looking for a place for a regular hangout.  I found this one bar in the Town Central.  At least it felt a lot more welcoming than some of the clubs around here.  Most of the people in general seem friendly here…but they can tell I’m new.  Like…ALL of them can tell.  It’s a little nerve-racking.”

“Look if you didn’t want to want to stick out like a sore thumb, you should have moved to a city.  I told you that.  Much easier to blend in there.”

Sasha shook her head.  “No, I didn’t want to get overwhelmed like that.  The best city choices were too big.  Then I’d really feel lonely.  It’s not bad here, I just…have to be sure I make a good first impression is all.  I don’t…think they hate new people?”

“You JUST said they were friendly, didn’t you?”

“Yeah but…see the bartender…” Sasha shook her head again, “No, no you know what?  I think I was just getting jittery since it’s a new place.  Forget it.”

Pierce tilts his head. “What about the bartender?”

“He…OH!  His name,” she quickly recovered and laughed.  “His name is Whesker!”

“Like Resident Evil Whesker?” Pierce chuckled.

“EXACTLY LIKE RESIDENT EVIL WHESKER!  Dude even knew what that was!”

“SHIT FOR REAL?!  That’s actually pretty sick.  Points for the bartender.  What’d you order from him?”

“Nothing, actually.  Him and the other bartender had to do something out back.  Didn’t actually get to drink anything the whole time I was there.”

“Boo.  Points deducted.”

Sasha chuckled, “Well I mean they were busy.  I wasn’t really mad.  Kind of got distracted with this one guy having…a mental breakdown?”

“Woah.  Like, what do you mean?”

“I mean he was…really off kilter.  Not gonna lie, dude was kind of terrifying.  He kept cussing up a storm and saying he was gonna slit someone’s throat. He did SOMETHING awful.  Could not figure out for the life me what EXACTLY he did. He had a friend with him and I was certain this dude was going to punch him in the face or toss him across the room. He didn’t though.  He just…kinda…slumped down into a weeping mess. It was weird.  He said something about drinking.  I think the dude was an alcoholic.  It was kind of scary to watch.  At first I was kind of quivering from the raw temper he had.  Then…I felt a little empty.”  Sasha went a little quiet.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Pierce said in a reassuring tone.  “Dude was probably just drunk.  Lots of people probably get a little emotional when they’re drunk.  Met a ton of guys who say a lot of shit they don’t really mean when they’re wasted.  Did he go near you?”  Pierce looked a little concerned.

“Oh no, no I didn’t get caught up in any of that.  His friend I guess took him to some place to cool off.  The alcoholic kept saying something about disappointing someone for…whatever he did.”

“That’s good.  If you were to guess what he did though, what would you say?”

Sasha shrugged.  “Maybe he got in a fight?  Broke someone’s nose?  Or maybe he’s got a gambling problem?”

“Yeah.  Could be those.  He could also literally have just spent all his paycheck on booze, and now he’s gotta figure out what to do for rent.  I’ve seen that a few times.  Whatever the case, just…keep your distance Sasha.  Dude was probably just being overly emotional, but I suggest you stay away from wildcards like that you know?”

“Oh yeah don’t worry.  I don’t do so great anyway with very…loud people.”

Pierce laughed. “Yeah I know.  Just saying that if it’s a small place, you MIGHT spot him again.”

“I’ll be careful.  Should be easy to tell if he’s been drinking again anyway.”

“Sounds like his friend can keep him under control.  Don’t worry, I’m sure the next person you come across won’t be as scary Sasha.”

“Well…by all accounts…I suppose you’re not wrong, even though I feel like you should be,” Sasha laughed nervously.

Pierce cocked an eyebrow.  “The heck is that supposed to mean?”

“I..ummm…I never thought I would say this in my entire life…”

“And that would be?”

“….I met a drug dealer.”

Pierce blinked. “YOU.  Met a DRUG DEALER?  You are shitting me right now.”

“No, no this is a thing that happened.  Right after the alcoholic left.”

“What, you parked close to the back alley and he came out to hassle you?”

“No this was in the bar.”

“Oh, oh so you’re telling me that a drug dealer just walked right the fuck up to you and said ‘Hey wanna buy some drugs?’” Pierce was grinning and trying to hold back his laughter.

“…Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“YES!  I’m not joking! This happened!  And the dude collects snow globes and friendship bracelets too!” Sasha blurted out, exasperated.

Pierce burst out laughing, “NO FUCKING WAY!  No, I’m not believing that shit for a second.  Sasha you must have misinterpreted something there or this dude was just fucking with you.”

“THERE’S NO WAY TO MISINTERPRET THE LINE WORD-FOR-WORD, ‘You want to buy drugs, kid?’”

“Sasha no drug dealer is going to deal that stuff in public.  Cops eat at those places too.”

“Yeah, about that…apparently the cops here are either inept or can be ‘persuaded.’  I don’t know. Tyler’s plan was apparently to give them a blow if he got caught.”

“Okay one, who’s Tyler?  And two, which blow you talking about?”

“Tyler is the drug dealer and…both?”

Pierce stares for a full 10 seconds, stunned.  He then burst out laughing again, falling over on his side this time.

“OH MY GOD!  OH MY FUCKING GOD! Sweet innocent Sasha left home for no less than a week and you’re already hooked up with the world’s nicest drug dealer.  Oh man.  Sasha I take back what I said about Rockland.  Sounds like a riot.”  He had a large Cheshire grin on his face, but was holding his sides from laughing so hard.

Sasha rolled her eyes and said in a deadpan tone, “Well I’m glad through this long conversation, the thing that finally seems to get you to approve of my move is my association with a drug dealer.  Of all things.  Your reaction also makes me understand Dylan’s pain even more now.”

Pierce sighed, “Oh man, that just, that just made my day.  Thank you….wait who the hell is Dylan?”

“You’re welcome, and Dylan is Tyler’s friend.  He was mostly horrified about how open Tyler was.  Probably one of the more sane people in the bar that night. He dragged Tyler away at the end.”

“Aww, so you didn’t get any drugs?”

“No?  No number, no drugs.”

“Why would you NOT get drugs?!”

“What th-YOU KNOW ME!  That’s not me.  Plus my parents would have a heart attack if I tried anything.”

“But Sasha!  It’s not enough to just not buy a product from a vendor whose actions you don’t approve of.  You gotta purchase from their competition whose conduct you prefer!”

“…Okay I get what you’re saying.  Like if I want to support humanely raised animals, buy the food in the store that’s only from farms with humane raising tactics.  But, Pierce…you’re talking about DRUG DEALERS here. That’s ALL illegal.”

“Same difference.  I’d rather pay the friendly snow globe collecting drug dealer in the bar than the creepy freak in the dark alley.  It’s how you make the world a better place Sasha!  Illegal or not, not like they’re going away.”

“You are…just…I think I understand Dylan’s feelings even more now.”

“Let me come visit sometime.  You can take me to see Tyler.”

“Oh hell no!  If I have any say in this, I’m gonna try my hardest that you two never meet.  I will NEVER hear the end of it otherwise.”

“Boo.  Fine, be that way.  …Hey can I tell your parents about Tyler?”

“NO.  You’ll make THEM start to question my choice in coming here.”

“Okay okay.” Pierce settled down.  “So in summary, you walked into a bar where the bartenders dipped out, an alcoholic was in hysterics and the drug dealer was trying to get you in his books….Eh, you know when I say it out loud it doesn’t sound like the craziest bar ever. May even be pretty normal compared to some standards,” he grinned.

Sasha chuckled, “Yeah, I think I’ll pay the place another visit sometime. It was…interesting.”

“You could use a little spice in your mundane life girl.  Sounds like this place could be a gem.  Let me know who else pops up there next time, kay?” he winked.

“I will.  Have a good night Pierce.”

“Say hi to Tyler for me!”

“GOOD NIGHT Pierce.”

Sasha clicked “End Call.”

Sasha sighed.  She felt emotionally exhausted.

Her eyebrows furrowed.  “Did I forget something?  I think that was all the news.  There was something though…” Sasha thought to herself.  Something was nagging at her.

“The…bartender?  What am I…oh no I mentioned his name!  Pretty sure that was it,” she chuckled.

Sasha looked at the boxes and just shook her head.  She’ll finish it later.  Right now, bed sounded like the best idea after all that excitement.

[johannesviii]

Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2012

We’ve now entered the first year in a trio of fantastic years for hit songs, so yeah, it’s a top 12.

You won’t like some entries on this particular list.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Still working in Paris in 2012. Getting rapidly fed up with that. In constant stress to pay the rent because the landlord is bad and refuses to pay for stuff he should actually be responsible for in the flat. Other than that? Life was pretty good. “Having Money(tm)” meant being able to actually eat decent food and my health started to improve. Also I adopted a cat. That’s also the year I discovered the French branch of the SCP Foundation and started to contribute a lot to it. I also made this Tumblr blog!

I subscribed to a magazine called Elegy which always came with a music sample, which was great to discover new and vaguely obscure stuff.

Quite a lot of notable albums that year: Some Nights by fun., Night Visions by Imagine Dragons, Monkey Me by Mylène Farmer, Living Things by Linkin Park (with poorly chosen singles unfortunately imho), Revelations by mind.in.a.box., Babel by Mumford & Sons, Neverworld’s End by Xandria, and most importantly, the dreamy and emotional Valtari by Sigur Ros and the dark and excellent Hide & Seek by The Birthday Massacre (even though my year was mostly ruled by Automatic (VNV Nation) that came out the previous year in 2011). Actually having money meant I could finally own the albums I had wanted for years, and you can bet the fact that I owned zero The Birthday Massacre albums even though I had loved their stuff since 2008 was quickly rectified.

Nothing too annoying as far as non-elligible songs go this time, apart from the fact that more stuff from Mylo Xyloto (Coldplay) should have charted higher, and that I kinda regret the absence of La Vie Est Belle by MC Solaar. Not even sure I would have put it on the list, but still, great song.

Honorable mentions first!

Dusty Men (Saule) - Nothing to say about this. Pretty cool.

Young And Wild And Free (Snoop Dog) - That is a super chill and nice song.

Happy (C2C) - At the time, my brother was part-time DJ and opened a gig for these guys, and I was so proud of him! And I was also really glad to see some of their songs become hits. Very good stuff.

Midnight City (M82) - Borderline annoying or very good, depending on my mood.

Burn It Down (Linkin Park) - As I said, my opinion is that the singles from that album were poorly chosen, and Castle of Glass should have been the first one because let’s face it, that song is fantastic. Burn it Down isn’t bad at all, though.

Glad You Came (The Wanted) - I love how this song is written and it’s a lot of fun to hear every sentence starting with the end of the previous one.

I Cry (Flo Rida) - A ton of energy, very propulsive song.

Domino (Jessie J) - There’s a shit ton of weird metaphors in there but it’s still a very solid song.

Princess of China (Coldplay ft Rihanna) - I know I keep going on and on about Mylo Xyloto and how weird it was that the biggest hits from the album weren’t at all its best songs, but still, that’s really good stuff.

Ho Hey (The Lumineers) - The last cut from the list. This song is adorable and always puts me in a good mood. It’s so cute it almost feels mean to leave it out of this top. It’s also elligible for 2013 but I had even less room on that list, so...

And now, a top 12.

12 - Diamonds (Rihanna)

US: #94 / FR: #5

Was considering leaving it out of the list, decided there was no way I could leave it out, realised there was no room left, and added a slot. Welcome to a top 12 instead of 10. But yeah, love that song even if it’s no longer on my playlist nowadays.

11 - Bangarang (Skrillex)

US: Not on the list / FR: #92

Yes.

The other reason this list was turned into a top 12 was to put Skrillex on it.

I’m not even remotely sorry.

Make fun of dubstep all you like, that track is an explosion of sharp colors and edges, like an audio version of edgy street art. It’s almost impossible for me to listen to it without miming the shapes of the sound with energetic gestures and some hand-flapping. Perfect stim music.

10 - Die Young (Kesha)

US: #85 / FR: #78

This is no Take It Off but it’s the next best thing available, and it’s catchy and has a lot of fun little details (like the dirty socks line), and also, unlike the previous two, it’s still on my mp3 player, so yeah, 10th spot is fair. I love a party song with some sort of apocalyptic mindset.

9 - Skyfall (Adele)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

I usually don’t give a damn about James Bond movies but I sincerely loved that one, with its stakes becoming smaller and smaller and more personal as the story progressed, and most importantly, it had some visually striking colors near the end, and this wonderful, wonderful song. As I already said about the previous Adele song, I only like slow, emotional songs when there’s some energy behind them or at least some sort of dramatic atmosphere, and boy that’s some quality Drama(tm) right there.

8 - A l’Ombre (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #86

If C’est Une Belle Journée was the “last great Mylène Farmer song”, A l’Ombre might just be her best single released post 2003, at least imho. It’s only #8 because the general quality of hit songs in 2012 was insanely high, otherwise it would be way higher.

It’s about losing your identity and as you might already know I’m a sucker for that theme ; also the music video features Olivier de Sagazan, an artist who puts layers of clay, paint and mud on his own head and body to sculpt new faces, and it’s disturbing in all the best ways (obvious body horror tw for the link even if it’s clay and very abstract. Also there’s wolves. I’m just saying because I have one friend who’s scared of them).

7 - Thrift Shop (Macklemore)

US: Not on the list (#1 the very next year obviously) / FR: #7

Finally, a song about my favorite type of clothes: the cheap, comfy, unfashionable ones. With a great beat! And really fun lyrics! And a great music video! And a couple of actually insightful lines! Can’t even imagine how happy I would have been if this had dropped 3 years earlier back in university when I was still called “the hobo”.

I was still wearing that same old black coat from 2006 in 2012, mind you.

6 - Lights (Ellie Goulding)

US: #5 / FR: Not on the list

This song looks fantastic and, just like Fireflies by Owl City which to me looks exactly like fireflies flying in the night, it’s incredibly satisfying to hear a song titled “Lights” which looks like a series of pulsing semi-distant lights in the dark.

5 - We Are Young (fun.)

US: #3 / FR: #21

As far as favorite bands go, the 2000s charts gave me Linkin Park, Placebo, The Killers and My Chemical Romance. The 2010s charts were a bit less generous and only gave me fun., who’s own arrogance killed them right when they were at the top of their game and that’s nothing short of a tragedy considering how f█cking good their few hit songs were.

I guess your band either dies a hero, or it lives long enough to see itself become Imagine Dragons.

Oh well. At least we had some of the best songs (if not the best) of the 2010s while they were there.

4 - Turn Me On (David Guetta ft Nicki Minaj)

US: #35 / FR: #57

Ooooooh I bet some of you are furious this is placed 5 slots above Adele.

Listen. You know I love dance music, especially when it’s aggressive or with a darker edge. And yeah, that sounded like a lost Benassi Bros track, and it had a great (but way too short) rap bridge. You also know how literal-minded I am. So when I first heard Nicki Minaj’s voice with a ton of electronic distorsion saying “Make me come alive, come on and turn me on”, I didn’t picture anything sexy, but a robot. I’d rather pretend songs are about interesting things instead of generic supposedly sexy club anthems.

PLOT TWIST! As it turns out, the music video, instead of featuring some generic club stuff, featured everything I wanted and more: a weird, steampunk world of robots in which an inventor just created an android that looks way more alive than all the previous ones, and they all become jealous, and break his door down. With an axe.

Framing is everything. I absolutely love it. What a gift.

3 - It’s Time (Imagine Dragons)

US: #91 / FR: Not on the list

Believe it or not, I used to love Imagine Dragons. I still love the album Night Visions, which, apart from a couple of duds (like Demons, which is dreadful), is damn good. I don’t know what happened after that. I really don’t. Everything became slow, and heavy, and kind of boring. It worked fine for Radioactive, because that was a post-apocalyptic song, but when you try to apply the same formula to motivational songs, it simply doesn’t work.

Oh well. At least, for now, there was It’s Time. The music video, with people walking through a wasteland, is the perfect imagery for that song. Rebuild something new, but don’t change who you are. Things might get broken, but we’ll make art with them. We’ll plant trees over the graves of people who burnt them. Positive pessimism only, lads.

2 - Good Time (Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen)

US: #38 / FR: #40

The most innocent song about parties ever written. It IS always a good time when you listen to it. It reminded me of the parties at the campus at my job training the previous year, where we’d make dumb contests like “best disguise but if you buy anything you’re disqualified” and I made Freddy Krueger claws in papercraft and a friend won with his “emperor Nero” disguise which was basically a toga made with his bed sheets, a crown made with ivy he found outside, and him looking incredibly punchable on purpose.

It’s an incredibly cute song, it never outstays its welcome, always puts me in a good mood AND gives me some much needed energy. You already know I loved Owl City to begin with, even if I wanted him to have way more hit songs, and Carly Rae Jepsen was going to end on my playlist eventually, with several fantastic future songs. I’m glad this was a hit. They both deserved it.

1 - Some Nights (fun.)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list (why. how. f█ck off)

There’s drums! There’s ‘woho-woho’s! There’s guitars! It’s a perfect pop-rock earworm that never ever gets annoying! There’s a goddamn solo made with an autotuned version of the singer yelling “aaaaaaa”!! What more can you possibly want from a hit song?

I’m saying this right now: this is my favorite elligible hit song of the entire decade. Spoilers, I know. The #1s for 2013 and 2014 both come really close, but they aren’t as anthemic as this one. What did we do to deserve something this f█cking good in that day and age? I have no clue, but clearly, we didn’t deserve more of that, because these guys split up very quickly.

Anyone know some kind of magic spell to bring them back for an encore?

Next up: The Year When Just About Everyone Dropped An Excellent Album

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 2 Part 2

And the next part is here !

Liam Sunday December 3

"You're free handsome, you can leave."

These words were sweet to his hear. After several hours serving customer, Judy finally let him go. (Of course Liam was glad to be serving and not taking care of the dishes anymore, but he met an old lady really strange who tried to touch his ass and he got a little scared). (She tried twice at least).

"You did well by the way." continued his boss. "I mean you only forgot five orders... That's a day to remember !"

The young lad frowned. He did not. (Ok, maybe he did). His coworkers called him "the lost waiter" for a reason... By the way, he wasn't sure to be useful for business.

"There's someone waiting for you outside." she concluded. "See you next week."

Kinda curious, Liam changed and headed towards the door. Surprisingly, it was Nick. That's new. Usually, he's playing video games at this hour. The dark-haired lad was wearing a fluffy jacket and black jeans. When he saw his roommate, he smiled.

"Hey bud'."

"Hey." greeted Liam. "What's going on ?"

He knew something was odd. The geek never went out of their flat without a good reason. And he just smiled, which was unusual since Rebecca and him had argued. And he got this little twitch when he wanted something. (Liam felt proud of himself. He was a real spy when he decided to). (Or just a good friend, but whatever).

"Nothing in particular." answered Nick. "Let's walk for a bit, please ?"

"Uh, okay."

Then, they became silent. At start, Liam just watched his friend. But then, his eyes got caught by a weird trash can on the other side of the street. It looked broken. I wonder who did that... Maybe Nick ? (He then remembered what he did, like three months ago, and he just blushed). Anyway, they  arrived at their building, but Nick just continued straight ahead.

"I'm not in the mood to listen to Rebbie and her boyfriend fuck." he complained. "Come on, let's go to the fastfood at the corner. I'm hungry".

Liam was honestly sleepy (like almost every night). (Or maybe everytime ?). However, he had also zero willpower. (You could ask him to dance naked in the street, he would do it). (Thinking about it, maybe not).

"Dude, are you coming or not ?" asked his roommate. "Stop looking at the sky like this, it's freaky".

Once inside, Nick ordered two burgers and some fries, and they sat far away the other customer. For a short time, they remained silent again. Liam nearly fall asleep. (Once he started to close his eyes, he had a really hard time resisting).

"So what's the deal ?" asked suddenly Nick. "Between you and this girl ?"

"You mean Judy ?"

"Not your boss silly, Colton's girlfriend. I saw you watching her. I mean, normally you're not looking something or someone in particular, just... dreamin'. But each times she's around, it's different. Have you a crush on her ? Cuz Nate let me thought you weren't... interested in girl anymore ya know ?"

Liam's brain took in the information. He's talking about Barbara. Dude his friend was more observant than he believed. He's always playing with his gameboy, but he saw that... I wonder if everyone else know too. But the truth was... Liam just failed to talk with Barbara. He just chickened out and ran under his blanket each time he tried to approach her.

"I'm not in love with her." belied the young lad. "I just happen to know her from highschool... But can we not talk about it ? Like we're not talking about you running away from our appartment because there are zombies in it."

(It was Liam's conclusion. Nick would only left if he mistakenly summoned undead). (But the unicorns would save the day). His friend stared at him, stunned.

"Man, you're so weird. I honestly don't understand how you're functioning. Anyway, I was just a bit angry at myself for stuff... But now it's ok. Let me finish this and we can go back, I can tell you're dead on your feet."

Rebecca Monday December 4

All the weekend, she had sensed something bad would happen. She had thought it was about sport, and couldn't find what the hell she had been missing. But now, she remenbered. The fucking group project. It was due for today, and they didn't finish it. Rebecca woke up panicked. She barely noticed Emilio who was still sleeping, and got dressed hella fast. Then, she rushed her neighbor's flat. Please, be awake. It's in one fucking hour. Please be awake. She couldn't afford to have a bad grade. Rebecca knocked so hard on the door that she probably woke up the whole floor. But Liam and Nick weren't answering. Those bloody sleepy heads ! She rushed towards the closest library. Let's hope I can do something by myself. She tried to call Colton, but he didn't ansewer either. Damnit. Rebacca was almost there when she ran into Matthew.

"Hey girl !" he shouted. "Where are you heading so fast ?"

"I forget to finish a group paper. I'm sorry but I need to go."

"Oh come on, that's no big deal." he replied ironically. "Stop being so serious about everything. You're already a star athetle, why do you need to study in the first place ?"

She stopped for a sec and looked at him. What a dumb question. My parents want me to. It's for my future.

"C'mon girl." Matthew laughed. "I mean, wouldn't you be better if you only trained ? And you really could use some free time for yourself. You got a bad reputation in the campus to be honest."

"What ? Why ?"

"Well, you're trying to be the best runner, the best swimmer, the best student and all... It's kinda obvious people don't like it. Oh, and your boyfriend got a lot of women after him aswell. They hate you."

Rebecca didn't knew what to say. People hated her... because she tried to be perfect ? What the hell ? Maybe that's the reason why Nick is so raging lately... He simply was jealous of her success.

"Anyway, it's always nice to talk with you, but I should hurry." stated Matthew. "Chelsea's waiting for me at the coffee shop."

Rebecca nodded and watched him draw away. Weird. After everything he did, I thought he just hated me but... now he's nice. Maybe he's trying to make it up on his behavior.

The young girl tried her best on the group project. Sadly, it wasn't enough at all. She headed towards the class quite depressed. Matthew's words were still making her think. And she feared the bad grade incoming. When she entered in the room, she looked at Colton, Liam et Nick. The first one looked a bit stressed too.

"We are screwed guys." he admitted while she sat. "We didn't finish the paper. In fact, we barely did it at all."

"We had a paper ?" asked Liam.

They all looked at him. That guy will turn me crazy one day. Did he know they had exams coming soon ? How the hell he managed to go to college exactly ?

"In fact, you're worried for nothing." assured Nick. "Because while you were all doing god know what, the genius I am did the project. Alone."

He gave it to the teacher with a smile.

"Don't thank me fellows." he added. "I know Rebbie doesn't like to thank people who saved her ass anyway."

She opened her mouth, but nothing came to her mind. He had all the rights in the world to be mad. And she should say something, she knew that. But his provoking look enraged her. Damnit. The runner girl was too proud. She just ignored him. And felt hella bad about it.

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Wednesday December 6

The lad moaned. On the screen, the girl just pronounced his name in such a positive way. Bloody hell she had a sensual voice. With the remote, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey rewound. Oh damn, that was so hot. Yeah, Amber, the chearleader captain, had a beautiful voice. He sped up the video until he saw Zack Jonhson. This one murmured his name. Hell. That's something. Zack had a special tone. Especially when he said "Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey". He just whispered each syllabe with so much passion. The Dean's grandson listened it again. And again. Eventually, he came with a satisfied grunt. That was so good. A bit awkward, but so good anyway.

"Hey Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey !" hailed Summer through the door of his appartment. "Are you in there dude ?"

Well, she didn't pronounced his name like in the video, this bitch. She was way more submissive in bed. The blond lad adjusted his boxers and closed his zipper. He didn't bothered put a shirt, and opened the door.

"What do you want ?"

Stupid cow. She had gained some weight since she had become the head of the student. Just, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey had nothing against some chub. In fact, he could like it in some people. But this dummy ? She was uglier everytime he saw her.

"You asked me to tell you when the swimmers started their training." she reminded him. "Well they just started. And wow there are some cuties among them. Theo kept his card close to his chest."

She was definitely lusting after those guys. Such a pathetic predator. She was a collector, she couldn't handle the "break-up phase". And that was why she would be in troubles one day. But he didn't care, since he had already fucked her enough. He finally took a shirt, and headed towards the pool without even a glance for her.

When he arrived, he first heard Theo. That man had a strong voice. An unctuous one. He's a sneaky little bastard, but we had our greet time together. They ended it on a mutual agreement. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey then remarked Laura. The loyal girlfriend. That was a lovely weird story, honestly. Laura was deeply in love with Theo, even if she knew what he was doing. They had a sort of agreement, because he helped her back in times. It's cute, he loves her and fuck chubbies in the same time.

"Uh... Sorry but I need to get to the pool please. I'm already late."

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey turned over and stared at his prey. Oh god, I'm in luck. It might even be too easy. He had done some research, and knew the boy's name was Liam. He was from the middle of nowhere. He had achieved highschool with an A-, and was now studying economics. He wasn't a scholarship holder, and he lived in a flat outside the main campus with one roommate. I also noticed he's from the same town than this cute soccer player... Muller. I like that boy, he's gifted. Anyway, it was time to start the hunt. And this braindead freshman didn't move yet. He was just looking... What the hell is he lookin' at exactly ?!

"I'm Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey." the Dean's grandson introduced himself. "Nice to meet you."

The boy didn't answer. How come ? Is he that stupid ? Liam was tall, and ripped. Ripped as hell. Broad-shouldered, he had an impressive chest, and a blossoming six-pack. He was probably doing some cardio and muscle-development exercises as well as swimming. His face was kinda sexy. With chestnut hair, masculine feature, he had deep grey eyes, with a glint of blue. And his ass, that fucking ass made the hunter's cock hard in a second. But Liam seemed completely lost in his thoughts. I'm not being ignored by a little shitty swimmer. No way. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey kicked the lad in the leg. Gently of course. The freshman landed on Earth.

"What ? Did you say something ?" he asked.

"I'm Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey." repeated patiently the hunter.

"Hello. I'm Liam Strucker. Nice to meet you."

There was something really, really odd about his tone. He sounds completely high, but he isn't. In fact, he didn't seem stupid either. I thought he was but...

"Can I go to the pool now ?" asked Liam. "I should be doing lenghts by now."

"Yeah, just go."

The hunt would be harder than the Dean's grandson expected. I think I understood why Theo failed to pick up this guy. It'll be fun.

To be continued

Some develpment without weight gain I know but we’ll come to it ! So Liam and Damian finally met ! Let’s see if the hunter will succeed to have our dreamy boy in his bed !

Nick is an important character for the story, even if he hasn’t his own pov. He’s a nice guy, doing all the work alone and all. But what’s in his mind ? Maybe it is related to the little belly he’s denying ? ;)

In a month or so, I’ll start to post another long story at the same time (probably every saturday). It’s called To the perfection and the main characters are Thomas Muller and Dan Vince. It’ll feature a lot of pining, kinky desires and weight gain.

[attract-mode-collective]

Just Another Late Night At The Game Center

And just another massive dose of game culture, as originally shared on the Attract Mode Twitter account, (most of) everything that was shared in the latter half of February. The first half was covered here.

Before I forget: the above is courtesy of erickimphotography.com.

Again, given how short Feb is supposed to be, I figured this post would be too... and it's not. So am wonder if going weekly might best going forward?

Anyhow, where did I leave off last time? Oh yeah; Valentine's Day. And here’s Amy Rose, from the day after, reminding us all that, as great as love can be, it also hurts (via sonicthehedgeblog)...

Check out this devastating big boot from Mario, one that would make the WWE's Undertaker or Kane proud (via suppermariobroth)...

You're no doubt familiar with Julie Bell's work, but are you aware of the close resemblance between her art & the artist herself? (via slbtumblng)...

Some nice, pixelated sukajans we have here (via kauzara)...

Look at these hipsters...

Look at these hipsters standing around, on a Brooklyn rooftop...

Look at these hipsters standing around, on a Brooklyn rooftop in leggings based upon the interactive menu for the Super Famicom's satellite modem peripheral. (via minusworld.co.uk)...

Am legit thinking of getting this shirt covered with quotes from people trying to figure out which Metal Gear character is gay (via kotaku.com)...

Am rather fond of Data Weave, which has more than a passing resemblance to the Eliss scarf that helped put the Attract Mode shop on the map (via prostheticknowledge)...

When you go to bed, don't forget to never use your Dreamcast as a pillow (nor should you ever place it on a bucket filled with leafy greens either, but you probably already knew that one; via posthumanwanderings)...

Not sure which SNK 40th Anniversary shirt I like more (via miki800.com)...

It's just Hidetaka Suehiro, playing... I think The Last Blade? Criminally underrated Neo Geo game btw (via nintendu)...

And the late, great Robin Williams playing Ground Zero Texas for the Sega CD (via celebgames)...

Plus the President of Turkey, circa 1990, playing Galaxy Force II for whatever reason (via historium)..

Pro-tip to any & all custom arcade cabinet sellers: if you're going to photograph someone playing a game on your thing, have said person actually play the thing (in this case, Robotron utilizes dual sticks and no buttons; via arcadephile)...

Today's recommended reading is a follow-up to another older post, one that's all about Willie Williams, who not only inspired Virtua Fighter's Jeffry McWild but also Tekken's Paul Phoenix (via lordmo)...

After seeing this gif of a young woman punching a dinosaur (or possibly a dragon) in the crotch, I may have to give Capcom Fighting Jam a second look (via kazucrash)...

Sticking with the subject of crotches for just one bit, everyone out there's familiar with PuLiRuLa, right? (via kazucrash)

Just a friendly reminder of how wacky commercials for the PlayStation 2 were back in the day (via kurhl)...

Back to the subject of dinosaurs... yet still sticking with fun under the sun (via sidestorygaiden)...

If I'm gonna share fan art of unofficial PlayStation 1 era mascots, then I have to pass along this rendering of Abe (via it8bit)...

Seen countless folk play music with a Game Boy or a NES... but a Dreamcast? @slowmagic is the very first, and with a Hello Kitty edition Dreamcast no less...

Does anyone know if these figures of Dorimukyasuko & friends were commercially produced or if they were just made for the Sega no Game wa Sekai Ichi~i~i~I ad that the image comes from? (via vgprintads)...

We've gotten snowfall here in NYC over the past few weeks, once during during sunset, but alas it wasn't nearly as pretty as this (via kirokazepixel)...

It's been ages since I've posted any Game Culture Snapshots, despite countless promises that I'd fix that. Well, until that finally happens, here just one, from IndieCade East 2018. Which was an epic bust, but hey, at least I finally got to play that Bill Viola game I first encountered at GDC 2008...

PLEASE tell me that GBA Video carts are the new hot means of distributing bootleg Hollywood flicks (via @katribou)...

This part from The Thing always reminded me of Asteroids on the Atari 7800 (via pixpunk)...

I posted this on Twitter, not realizing that I had shared it on the blog once before. But since I can’t find that original post, and since it's so damn nice, plus totally worth looking at again (via humanoidhistory)...

I also need to re-share that Tron movie poster cuz it's the first lead up to this Blade Runner-related spread from Joystik Magazine (via mendelpalace)...

As someone who fetishizes old video game magazines, I'm legit ashamed that I didn't know about Joystik sooner (via here & here)...

Please enjoy a healthy helping of scans from Lovely Sweet Dream, the dream journal that would become the basis of LSD for the PlayStation 1 (via here & here)...

Sorry, but I still think the idea of a multi-billionaire sending his sports car into space just cuz he can to be kinda cringey, yet that doesn't mean I'd don't think this pixelated recreation is any less pleasant (via it8bit)...

I've never been to Beverly Hills, so I have no idea if this portrayal according to Super Chase: Criminal Termination is accurate or not; maybe it was when the game was produced? (via obscurevideogames)...

Meanwhile, closer to where I am (somewhat; am not all that far from Long Island) is Mario & Yoshi & the Book of Revelation (via greathaircut)...

Are you playing Mario? Or is Mario playing you? (via suppermariobroth)...

Game Boys. And Game Girls. Mostly Girls. (via contac)

Before anyone asks, no, I do not have a bigger/wallpaper appropriate-sized version of this super sexy image of a couple of Wiis (via klaus-laserdisc)...

I think I kinda need to do this to my PlayStation (via dreamcast.tokyo)...

... Which reminds of those fancy, souped up by audiophiles PSXs I mentioned a whiles ago...

I celebrated Cat Day in Japan by posting this fave official King of Fighters illustration (via videogamesdensetsu)....

... along with this Monster Hunter fan art (via kerriaitken)...

... plus this highlight of a fave WarioWare: Twisted micro game (via suppermariobroth)...

So yeah, Flash sucks, I get that, but as the platform fades away, so does the opportunity to play games like Fear Less! (via zombie-chaser)...

Thankfully, WORLD OF HORROR, "a love letter to the cosmic horror work of Junji Ito", is something that's much more accessible (for now at least)...

I don't know much about Dujanah, which has you assuming the role of a Muslim woman with grievances against a military force that's occupying her Islamic homeland, other than it looks extremely compelling...

Yet another game I need to check out is CONTINUUM, which is a shmup that combines time manipulation and Tetris? (via alpha-beta-gamer)...

It's a legit shame that Jetpack Squad has seemingly fallen off the map (via shmups)...

Another shmup that I really, really want to play (though it's starting to feel increasingly unlikely) is AEROBAT, which looks just as gorgeous (and insane) today as it did the first time I laid eye (via shmups)...

Yet another game that was never meant to be, and the only thing we have here is some incredible looking concept art; if it ended up happening & was any good, I wonder if I'd be a PC-FX owner? (via videogamesdensetsu)...

If a Tokyo Dark Souls was ever to happen, which artist's take do you prefer; this one (via visor-visual)...

... or this one? (via mendelpalace)

You know about celebrity roasts, right? Well, a comedy club in Long Island City had one for Mario, though I have no idea how it went; I had kung fu practice that night...

Me, when the coffee kicks in (via anthony10000000)...

I had no idea that Typing of the Space Harrier was even a thing (via posthumanwanderings)...

It's a bit unsettling how some of Dreamcast Magazine's advice on how to survive Y2K are still useful today, in particular their words of wisdom regarding Seaman (via posthumanwanderings)...

Megadora Man, a Tokusatsu-esque take on the Mega Drive, for Beep! Mega Drive; am assuming his foes are inspired by the Famicom and PC Engine (though am not totally sure which is which; via obscurevideogames)...

Question: how hard would it be for someone in the US to get the first three issues of Famitsu from the Japanese Kindle Store? (via miki800.com)

Been well over a decade since first laying eyes and I FINALLY know the identity of the artist behind a series of Mario illustrations that has long left me stupefied: his name is Ishihara Gōjin (via videogamesdensetsu)...

I woke up the other day with a sense of purpose, with the knowledge that I finally have a mission in life: to do whatever I can to make this dancing kid from Sega Splash Golf a viral sensation (via sonicthehedgeblog)...

Though speaking of morning, been feeling run down as of late, though it's my own damn fault for not having breakfast. Which is why I can't wait for my Persona 3 toaster has yet to arrive (via gasp-theenemy)...

Had no idea that MAME can also emulate those crappy, Tiger handheld games; naturally there's not much to look at, since none of the background is part of the game's code (via lanceboyles)...

Eggman has a sense of humor (via voidirium)...

Eggman also has aesthetics (via posthumanwanderings)...

When you mess with the textures in Wind Waker for the sole purpose of making Vaporwave Link (via pmpkn)...

Man, I really wish each and every mech in Tech Romancer actually had its own anime (via ultrace)...

Before Mappy was a video game, it was a physical game involving real deal robots (via namcomuseum)...

And I swear, one of these days, we'll make available online Zac Gorman's print from Comics Vs Games 2...

In my time I've encountered lots & lots of BMO fan art, so much that it has become increasingly difficult to take notice and be impressed, yet this one managed to do so regardless (via it8bit)...

Let's all take a moment to appreciate the instruction manual for Cubivore, shall we (via skincoats)...

Cubivore's Japanese box art is also very nice (via gaygamer)...

An important message for all parents out there, concerning Minecraft (via reddit.com)...

When you can't afford the licensing fees for Miami Vice, Ghostbusters, Barbarella, I think... and maybe Logan's Run? (via mendelpalace)...

Given how Platoon ended up as a NES game, the idea of the Terminator on a Tiger handheld isn't totally far-fetched (via rewind01)...

And finally, PUT THAT CONTROLLER DOWN, NOW! (via fuzzyghost)

[junker-town]

How sports is Seven Worlds, One Planet: Episode 6?

Kei Nomiyama / Barcroft Media via Getty Images

David Attenborough’s new show is epic ... and sports.

We continue our extremely important mission to conduct a scene-by-scene review of the BBC’s new nature documentary, Seven Worlds, One Planet, in order to see how sports it is. We determined that Episode 1, which focused on Antarctica, was reasonably sports. Asia was very sports, as was South America. Australia was more drinking than sports, and Europe was extremely sports. Now it’s time for ...

Episode 6 North America

Scene 1: The Hare Hunt

Unless you’re either exceptionally lucky or exceptionally cynical in your choice of teams, following sports can be a thoroughly miserable experience. Every year, most teams fail, and they fail in heartbreaking ways. A sports obsession is a form of emotional gambling, and the house tends to win. Why do we do this to ourselves? I think it’s because we have to. Humans are fascinated by games, and, once captivated, it’s difficult to escape.

Sports might be a bad bet, but for many people they’re nourishing in a way that — the efforts of political punditry aside — cannot be found anywhere else. Also, while there’s not much joy in watching your team fail, it’s a lot of fun to watch everyone else’s also fail. Sports are schadenfreude.

Anyway in this scene a lynx repeatedly fails to catch a hare.

I spy with my little eye...a snowshoe hare #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/Y2nCQi8tDe

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

I think, if we were somehow turned into wild animals, most of us would choose to be apex predators. Being a prey creature, constantly at risk and having to stay on high alert all the time ... well, that sounds really too stressful. But most hunts end in failure, and barring freakish luck, predators seem hungry all the time, which can’t be any less stressful.

I think the lesson here is not to be a wild animal.

This particular lynx is stalking snowshoe hares in the depth of the Yukon winter. It looks cold, hungry, and miserable, and has to walk hundreds of miles in search for food, and when it finds one the hare just hides in a bush. A second hare also runs away and hides in a bush. Being a hare and getting chased by a lynx can’t be fun, but being a very peevish and hungry lynx would hardly be a good time either.

Aesthetics 10/10

Cats must be nature’s most stylish terrestrial predator. Even the smaller ones, like lynx, move with an instantly-recognisable grace. They’re beautiful creatures, made even lovelier by the pristine snow of the Canadian north.

Good lynx.

Difficulty 8/10

It’s obviously quite hard to catch a snowshoe hare.

Competitiveness 8/10

Frankly the hares seem to have the lynx overmatched, although the continued existence of any lynx at all implies that the contest is closer than it looks from these scenes.

Overall 26/30

I hope we’ve established that failure is, perhaps, the essence of sport.

Scene 2: Chubby Fish Boys

In Tennessee, a fish is building a fortress. And honestly, it’s pretty impressive:

BBC Earth

This contraption is the responsibility of a male river chub. In early spring, these foot-long fish embark on a quest to breed. The males seek out a quiet section of river in which to build a nest. These structures can get rather elaborate — they’re significantly larger than the fish themselves and can contain up to 7,000 pebbles, all placed by mouth. The males, for some reason, also decide to get much uglier:

What you would see looking out from a microwave. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet #isitready pic.twitter.com/V64RyDcyUo

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Sorry boys, but bloated-foreheads-with-weird-growths is very much not my aesthetic. But my opinion doesn’t much matter to a river chub. What matters is the nest. These rocky piles provide shelter from both current and predators, should a female chub choose to lay her eggs there, and so building the best nest becomes fiercely competitive. Pebble theft is common.

Eventually the lady chubs make their choices, the eggs are laid and fertilised, and a new generation of fish is reared as the Mississippi slowly washes away those hard-build nests.

Aesthetics 1/10

These are some ugly fish and I really don’t like them.

Difficulty 4/10

Granted, it would be more difficult and time consuming without arms, but I imagine I could make a pile of several thousand rocks without too much trouble.

Competitiveness 8/10

Fighting over building materials and doing your best to build a very good nest? It’s a cut-throat chub world.

Overall 13/30

This is architecture. Architecture, while cool, is not sports.

Scene 3: Tidal Bears

Thanks to various quirks of geography, sections of the eastern coast of North America are subject to some of the planet’s highest tides. Tide present opportunities for land animals to harvest the rich bounty of the seas, and there’s no more opportunistic land animal than the bear.

Tidal zones might be rich in food but they’re also disgusting, rank places, with the stench of half-rotten seaweed everywhere. You can almost smell it coming through the screens. But we’ve dealt with the turd penguins, so we’ll forgive this bear family their rancid crab snacks. This is, or so we’re told, the cubs’ first visit to the seaside. They seem to be enjoying it:

A fierce hunter retreats with his starfish catch#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/QjLDxWpig7

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Sibling rivalry...a tale as old as time#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/0zgCE3yKzp

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

However! Much like last week in Europe, the baby bears encounter a male whole isn’t their father, and are forced to flee up a tree to avoid his wrath. Fortunately, just like during the Finnish forest scene, nothing too bad happens. The grumpy male bear leaves a scent mark on the tree — how anyone might smell with so much seaweed around is beyond me, but bears have noses many thousands of times more powerful than ours, poor things — and the family skedaddles back to safety.

Aesthetics 5/10

These are some adorable, bears but while I love the seaside I have a visceral reaction to seeing much exposed seaweed. Gross.

Difficulty 8/10

The various climbs the little bears undertake seem sort of difficult, as evidenced by:

He’s beauty and he’s grace, he’s fallen on his face #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/UYONQtceiT

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Did I add this just because it’s cute? Yes, obviously.

Competitiveness 0/10

Despite things threatening to happen, nothing actually happens.

Overall 13/30

A stroll down the beach to munch on some crabs is not sports unless someone actually tries to fight the big bear at the end.

Scene 4: Fireflies

If you’re lucky enough to live in a part of the world inhabited by fireflies, make sure you take advantage of those lazy summer evenings when the temperature is just right to draw them out. The little beetles twinkle in the air like borrowed stars, adding magic wherever they go.

BBC Earth

Since this is nature, of course, the flashing of their lights is basically morse code for “S E X M E P L S”, the sort of neon signs one might imagine populating a red-light district, but the lurid nature of the show hardly takes away from the beauty.

And since, again, this is nature, sometimes the lights are a trap. There are some species of fireflies which have evolved the ability to mimic others species mating signals, using their lights to attract an innocent bug looking for a mate and eating it.

This sequence doesn’t show that degree of aggressive mimicry, but we get an accidental one instead, with fireflies finding themselves glowing postmortem in a spider’s web, which summons more fireflies which etc. It’s a very pretty dinner.

Aesthetics 10/10

Yeah this is an easy call.

Difficulty 7/10

This isn’t talked about at all during the scene, but I really wonder how on Earth individual fireflies manage to cut through the noise of tens of thousands of other fireflies to hone in on potential mates. Is their vision short-ranged enough that most of the lights gets diffused into the background? If you tried to get me to pick a specific firefly out of that video I would not do a very good job.

Competitiveness 7/10

Following on from the last part, I’m slightly baffled as to how fireflies differentiate themselves from their firefly competitors. Many mating rituals have an obvious ‘fitness’ component to them, but I can’t tell here. Is it because the world of coleoptera sex is just too alien for me to comprehend? I hope so. (The spider part gives this zero bonus points because that shit is really just too easy.)

Overall 24/30

If humans could glow, synchronised people-glowing would be an Olympic sport.

Scene 5: The Tale of the Naughty Prairie Dog That Only Listened To Its Mother Sometimes

Once upon a time, there were six little prairie dogs living in a hole in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains. They were good little prairie dogs, or so they thought. They played nicely with each other (sometimes), kept the burrow clean (sometimes) and even listened to their mother (sometimes). They liked their burrow, and had lots of good grass and seats to eat. The six little prairie dogs had a good life.

They were neighbours with a burrowing owl family, and were good friends with their chicks. They didn’t see them very much, because the owls preferred to come out later, but the chicks liked to play almost as much as the prairie dogs and the mother owl wasn’t nearly as strict as the prairie dogs’.

The prairie dogs thought that their mother worried at little bit too much. She insisted that they not go too far from their burrow — the world was “big and dangerous,” she said, and they were small and many creatures might find them tasty. Their mother also forced them to return to the burrow at a moment’s notice, even if they were having fun playing or had found a particularly tasty patch of grass!

Their mother, the prairie dogs decided, was clearly overthinking things. Surely the world couldn’t be as dangerous as she thought. Nothing scared the cubs.

She is having none of it #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/JHIYxbTc9u

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

So slowly, as they got older, they started sneaking further away from the burrow. Whenever they could, they’d also wait a little longer to respond to their mother’s recall shout. Nothing bad ever happened. The world didn’t seem so big and dangerous after all.

One day, as they were playing, the little prairie dogs noticed the burrowing owl mother driving off a badger. “I wish she was our mother,” the eldest and most rebellious of the little prairie dogs. “Look how safe she keeps her family! Our mother just tells us never do to anything.”

The prairie dogs kept playing, glad that the badger had gone away. They’d never seen a predator before, but something told them them the badger was bad news. But with it gone, they could eat and play all day.

The eldest of the little prairie dogs was wrestling with his youngest sister when they heard their mother shouting for them to come home. “Let’s go back,” said his sister.

“Don’t be such a scaredy-dog,” said the eldest. “There’s nothing here that can hurt us. That badger went away ages ago. Mother���s just being ridiculous again. Stay and play.”

“Are you sure?” said his sister.

“Of course I’m sure.”

So the two little prairie dogs kept on wrestling.

The look your dad gives you when you announce that the whole family is going on a juice cleanse.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/v7DH1OxmyS

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

For the rest of his short existence, the eldest of the now-five little prairie dogs had to live with the guilt of his sister’s death.

Aesthetics 7/10

The prairies are not the continent’s finest scenery, but the little prairie dogs are very cute. And quite tasty-looking.

Difficulty 6/10

The ending wasn’t very difficult, but the badger did a lot of hard work to sneak up on the prairie dogs. The burrowing owl attack was pretty good too.

Competitiveness 10/10

Badger against baby prairie dogs? Not a contest. But a little burrowing owl (8 ounces) taking on a whole-ass badger (20 pounds) to defend her young? That’s the stuff right there.

Bonus point for the, uh, ill-judged prairie dog wrestling.

Overall 22/30

Depressing sports. Also, listen to your mom, kids.

Scene 6: Meep Meep!

Like many others, I was devastated to discover that roadrunners were neither blue nor locked in an elaborate, contraption-fueled feud with technically adept but curiously stubborn coyotes. Roadrunners are, in fact, little brown birds that like to eat lizards. Here is one on the hunt.

Practising for when Coyote turns up.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/vbRCqA2zxW

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

I was also devastated to find out that they don’t actually say “meep, meep”. It’s as though Looney Tunes was lying to me all along.

The roadrunner hunt is really quite odd. It doesn’t go after a gila monster (fair enough), and fails to chase down a couple of spindly-legged speedsters (fair enough), but it totally ignores a half-buried horny toad, and then at one point investigates a tasty-looking lizard of unknown description and instead of catching it lets it run away. And then chases after it.

I’m starting to suspect that roadrunners aren’t that smart. And with the lizard hunt not going very well, this one settles on a centipede. Job mediocrely done — my kind of bird.

Aesthetics 7/10

There’s a pure component to aesthetics, certainly. A goldeneye duck, for instance, is a beautiful bird in any context. But there’s also an aesthetic of time and place, and a roadrunner in the American West just feels right. It’s dusty and dirty chasing, after other dusty and dirty things, and while I might have preferred something blue and meepy, this’ll do.

Difficulty 5/10

Catching lizards in the heat can’t be easy, but there are so many unforced errors here it’s hard to give this a high difficulty score even when the hunt ends up mostly failing.

Competitiveness 8/10

Idiot bird vs. lizard seems like a pretty good fight.

Overall 20/30

Running aimlessly and mostly failing to get the job done? That’s a sport. I mean, I’ve just watched an Arsenal game.

Scene 7: Mullet Hunt

Somehow this is not a hair metal tribute band’s tribute band. I’m sorry if this disappoints you. Instead, we have grey mullet, a medium-sized coastal fish moving south with the currents off Florida. They’re moving south in vast numbers, too, with millions of fish heading towards their spawning grounds.

The mullet stay close to the shore in order to avoid the worst of the predators, yet somehow manage to go more or less undetected by the human sea-goers. But running in-shore only works for so long. Eventually the mullet draw the attention of a group of tarpon, large fish with a very large appetite. And so the hunt begins:

To get close to the mullet in the shallows, the tarpon turn on their sides now the mullet can’t see their shining silver flanks.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/mhgpgzO4Jx

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

The tarpon gorge on the mullet, and are soon joined by sharks and pelicans. But no matter how many predators converge upon the giant school, they can’t make much of a dent in its numbers, and the mullet keep moving south sans a few thousand fish.

Aesthetics 9/10

I very much enjoy the overhead shots of bait fish, and it’s especially fun to see them having to move around predators (the tarpon are magnificent) as well as human interlopers.

Difficulty 6/10

The tarpon, sharks and pelicans have it pretty easy. The mullet are jammed so tight to the shore that there’s nowhere to escape, so they mostly don’t. For the mullet there’s safety in numbers, but only for reasons of sheer probability.

Competitiveness 5/10

Not much of a fight, but I think sheer weight of numbers plays a factor here. The tarpon are trying to reduce a population 10,000 times their size. Granted, they probably think that sounds more ‘delicious’ than ‘intimidating’, but it’s a relatively tall order.

Overall 20/30

Sure. Fishing is a sport.

Scene 8: Sea Cows

America’s swamps aren’t always hot and humid. The shape of the continent allows arctic weather systems to penetrate right down to the south coast, dropping the temperature below freezing. Alligators can go into a sort of cold fugue state, dropping their heart rate to a beat per minute and sticking their snouts above the ice to make sure they can still breathe. But manatees cannot, and so they need to migrate somewhere warmer.

The waters off Florida should still be too cold for them during the winter, but Florida is an unusual place, and that strangeness manifests itself here through some surprisingly benevolent hydrology. The peninsula’s underground river systems are significantly warmer than the sea, and that’s where manatees see out the cold.

Some manatee babies get bored of all the waiting and play an unusual game:

BBC Earth

Yes, that is an alligator

In the depths of winter it’s not sleepy alligators which threaten the manatees. Instead, it’s boats. Florida’s water-ways are obnoxiously packed with motorboats, and dozens of manatees are killed by propellor strikes every year. Many of those that don’t die bear the scars of collisions, which are common even on young manatees.

Maybe learn to sail, Florida?

Aesthetics 7/10

Manatees aren’t cute, but the overhead shots have a sort of dreamy quality, like we’re watching a surrealist film about ambulant gnocchi. Also, the frozen alligator is very cool.

Difficulty 10/10

The baby manatee annoys an alligator. ANNOYS. AN. ALLIGATOR.

Competitiveness 4/10

Ok, let’s be fair: it’s a pretty sleepy alligator.

Overall 21/30

Most of this sequence is not a sport. Annoying alligators? That’s definitely a sport, albeit one I must legally recommend you not partake in.

Scene 9: White Whaling

I knew I shouldn’t have used so many Herman Melville references in the first episode, because we now have a genuine white whale hunt on our hands. Canada is warming faster than any other country on the planet, which has led to some difficult times for polar bears. Used to hunting on sea ice, which gives them a platform and a means to ambush the marine mammals they eat, the bears have had to adapt to a warming climate in which ice is much rarer.

Fortunately, bears are adaptable. Along Hudson Bay, a group of bears has developed a new hunting technique: they go whaling.

Polar bears are so dependent on the ocean, they are officially classed as ‘marine mammals’.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/pZzBtdLbFc

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Bears, as it turns out, are not very good at chasing down belugas by swimming at them. But the older, smarter bears have a better technique: standing on a small rock, conveniently placed some distance into the water, and dive-bombing the whales as they swing by. This technique proves more fruitful, and one bloody encounter later, the bear is dragging a very dead whale to shore to share with his friends.

Polar bears are fucking terrifying.

Aesthetics 8/10

We’re used to seeing polar bears in icy conditions, so it’s quite nice to see them frolicking somewhere else.

Just a polar bear lying in a flower meadow #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/jiU5WDG7TO

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

As ever, the drone shots are magical.

Difficulty 10/10

An adult beluga can weigh up to 4,000 pounds. Imagine having to kill one in an ambush fast enough that it couldn’t escape.

Competitiveness 10/10

It takes a lot of brains and patience for the bears to overcome the fact the whales are far superior swimmers.

Overall 28/30

Diving is a sport, and it’s even more of a sport if you have to try to kill a whale with your teeth as you dive. From hell’s heart I bite at thee etc., etc., etc.

[vox]

Why Bill Maher’s use of the n-word finally crossed the line

It was a seemingly innocuous conversation about Nebraska. Suddenly, it took an uncomfortable turn.

Real Time host Bill Maher and Sen. Ben Sasse (R-NE) were at first talking about Maher visiting the senator’s home state. Sasse quipped, “We’d love to have you work in the fields with us.” Maher then made his move, saying, “Work in the fields? Senator, I’m a house n*****.”

Maher immediately clarified that this was “a joke,” but the moment exploded on social media nonetheless. Black Lives Matter activist DeRay Mckesson said Maher “has got to go.” Sasse later acknowledged that he should have confronted Maher for his use of the n-word. HBO called what Maher did “completely inexcusable,” although it stopped short of firing him. And Maher himself later said, “The word was offensive and I regret saying it and am very sorry.”

This isn’t the first controversy Maher has been embroiled in. But Maher has generally gotten a pass for intolerant statements — perhaps because he’s on the left, because his shtick is in part about making offensive remarks, or because his remarks are often more subtle and come from the kinds of prejudice that many Americans are seemingly okay with. This time, it’s different.

What Maher actually said, and why it blew up in his face

Here is the full exchange between Maher and Sasse:

MAHER: Your book is so right about how we have actually kind of lost the thread of what adults are anymore in this country. Adults: They wear shorts everywhere, they have cereal for dinner, and they treat comic books like they’re literature. What is your prescription for this problem?

SASSE: More cereal for dinner. First of all, let’s not disagree about everything. So this is a constructive project, right? I’m not trying to beat up on millennials. But there’s something weird in human history if you can’t tell 10- and 15- and 20- and 25-year-olds apart, ’cause that’s new. Adolescence is a gift—

MAHER: Halloween used to be a kid thing.

SASSE: It’s not anymore?

MAHER: Not out here. No. Adults dress up for Halloween. They don’t do that in Nebraska?

SASSE: It’s frowned upon. Yeah. We don’t do that quite as much.

MAHER: I gotta get to Nebraska more.

SASSE: You’re welcome. We’d love to have you work in the fields with us.

MAHER: Work in the fields? Senator, I’m a house n*****.

Maher immediately clarified that this was supposed to be a joke — to laughs, cheers, and applause from the crowd.

That Maher immediately had to explain this was a joke shows that he, at that moment, must have known he crossed a line: After centuries of slavery, Jim Crow, and all sorts of racism in the US, white people in particular are simply not supposed to use the n-word.

As Wesley Morris wrote in the New York Times, “He didn’t commit a hate crime. He overstepped his privilege as a famous comedian. That’s all. But if he crossed a line, it’s one that, for white people, has never moved.”

Morris explained: “For a long time, black people have deployed slavery-derived hierarchies as a social and psycho-political sorting mechanism. A house assignment might have won a slave less arduous work but more suspicion and contempt from her counterparts in the fields. No one self-identifies as a house Negro — unless that person is making a joke. And even then that person probably shouldn’t be Bill Maher.”

The problem is further punctuated by Maher’s history, Morris wrote: “His track record inspires too much doubt to give any benefit.”

Maher has a long history of offensive comments

Muslim and Arab people in particular have long been the target of Maher’s ire, as shown by a video that made the rounds after former CNN host Larry King declared that “there’s not a racist bone in [Maher’s] body.”

Here is just a sampling of some of the comments Maher has made:

“Islam is the mother lode of bad ideas.”

“Just tell me two things, [former One Direction member] Zayn [Malik]. Which one in the band were you? And where were you during the Boston Marathon?”

“The most popular name in the United Kingdom, Great Britain — this was in the news this week — for babies this year was Muhammad. Am I racist to feel I’m alarmed by that? Because I am.”

“Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The reviews are not good.”

“Most Muslim people in the world do condone violence.”

“[Islam is] the only religion that acts like the mafia.”

Earlier this year, Maher also invited former Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos, who has repeatedly made Islamophobic and transphobic comments, to his show. The invitation drew criticism, since it gave Yiannopoulos a megaphone to spout his bigoted views. But Maher argued that the move was necessary to air out and challenge Yiannopoulos’s views in the free market of ideas. (Later, video surfaced of Yiannopoulos seemingly endorsing pedophilia, leading the ultra-conservative Breitbart to fire him.)

In that episode, when Yiannopoulos referred to the myth that trans women pose a danger to other women in the bathroom, Maher suggested, “That’s not unreasonable.” When he moved to another guest on the panel, Maher referred to trans people as “weirdos,” saying, “Where do you stand on weirdos peeing?” (Maher said he did it “just to fuck with him,” referring to the other guest, Republican Jack Kingston.)

The bathroom myth has been repeatedly used against trans people to push back against their civil rights. The argument, in short, is that if trans people are allowed to use the bathroom for their gender identity, either trans women or men who pose as trans women will sexually assault or harass women in bathrooms. There is literally zero evidence for this, as I have repeatedly explained. But the myth has been used to bar trans people from using the bathroom for their gender identity, with several states passing laws or considering bills to that effect.

Gavin Grimm, a trans teenager who’s sued his school for access to the right bathroom, best captured why these anti-trans policies are a big problem: “This wasn’t just about bathrooms. It was about the right to exist in public spaces for trans people,” he told me, quoting trans actress Laverne Cox. “Without the access to appropriate bathrooms, there’s so much that you’re limited in doing. If you try to imagine what your day would be like if you had absolutely no restrooms to use other than the home, it would take planning. You would probably find yourself avoiding liquids, probably avoiding eating, maybe [avoiding] going out in public for too long at a time.”

But in calling Yiannopoulos’s view reasonable and calling trans people “weirdos,” Maher perpetuated the myth, suggesting it’s okay to keep trans people out of bathrooms for their gender identity.

This is just one incident involving trans people. Maher, who identifies as a supporter of LGBTQ rights, mocked Caitlyn Jenner shortly after she came out as trans in 2015. In one segment, he called Jenner “a white man” and suggested she should go on a date with Rachel Dolezal, the former NAACP official who was accused of posing as black. The “jokes” denied Jenner’s identity and suggested her identity as a woman is on equal grounds with Dolezal’s claim to blackness.

It’s not just Islamophobia and transphobia. When Hillary Clinton ran for president in 2008, Maher said, while playing clips of Clinton on the campaign trail:

I’m not trying to be sexist here, but I’m just saying that women try a lot of different tacks when they’re in arguments … I’m not being sexist, I’m just saying that men, when we argue, we’re kind of a one-trick pony — we try our thing, and then we sulk when we don’t get our way. … But look at Hillary Clinton … Because the first thing a woman does, of course, is cry … and then they go to sweet talking … and then they throw an anger fit totally unrelated to anything. … And when it doesn’t work, they bring out the sarcasm.

As a general rule of thumb, starting any statement with “I’m not trying to be sexist here, but…” is probably a sign you shouldn’t complete that sentence.

Maher’s comments exemplify why: He said he wasn’t trying to be sexist, but then he went on to make a bunch of sweeping comments about men and women by using the experiences and actions of a single woman. This is simply sexism by definition.

Some kinds of bigotry are often overlooked in the US

Maher’s shtick has long been controversy — in what he often characterizes as a battle against political correctness.

Maher, after all, lost his show on ABC, Politically Incorrect, when he characterized the US military as “cowards” and the terrorists who hijacked planes on 9/11 as brave. “We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away,” Maher said. “That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.”

Maher went to HBO in part so he could get away with comments like this. It’s part of his brand to make over-the-top remarks for laughs, even if they contribute little to the ongoing conversation or are offensive. In his view, it’s part of an important battle against censorship.

He elaborated on his philosophy in his interview with Milo Yiannopoulos. “I think you’re colossally wrong on a number of things. But if I banned everyone from my show who I thought was colossally wrong, I would be talking to myself,” Maher told Yiannopoulos. He later added, “You are so, let’s say, helped by the fact that liberals just always take the bait.”

It took Maher literally using the n-word to finally get some media outlets to hold him accountable. Perhaps that’s because Maher is a liberal, putting him on the side of most of the people who would be quick to condemn his bigotry, particularly against Muslim, Arab, and transgender Americans.

But part of the issue here is what counts as actual bigotry in America, and whether Islamophobia, transphobia, and certain kinds of sexism and misogyny really do cross the line for a large chunk of the population.

A Pew Research Center survey measured Americans’ “warmth” toward different religious groups, with Christians and Jews ranking the highest and atheists and Muslims ranking the lowest. And in studies conducted by Northwestern University psychologist Nour Kteily, researchers had participants rank different groups based on how evolved they are; among the set of groups provided, Muslims ranked the lowest.

Similarly, many Americans don’t quite understand why trans people should be allowed to use the bathroom for their gender identity. Many Americans really do hold sexist or misogynistic views about how women debate, argue, or otherwise assert themselves.

But many Americans are told that the n-word is inexcusable; it’s the one word almost anyone who’s even a little bit woke to racism knows is not allowed.

That helps explain why Maher’s past offenses didn’t cross the line for a lot of people, while his use of the n-word got HBO and him to apologize.

[orphans-forest-blog]

What's So Trendy About SEO 2019 That Everyone Went Crazy Over It?

The good SEO strategy is your own first step towards developing a good online relationship with your clients. Getting SEO right could influence your business hugely since you start to build organic and natural traffic to your site which usually will naturally grow without the particular need for any underhanded SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING tactics or even spending tons of money on perfectly successful but pricey solutions such since Pay Per Click or deluxe ads. Searchmetrics is very pleased to have this partnership along with Elephate, a leading content plus SEO agency with years associated with invaluable experience. However, the particular webmasters can grasp search motor optimization SEO through websites. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION offers incredible opportunity and gain access to (it's an inherently free advertising channel) to inbound traffic, yet it can be hard in order to know where to start plus what advice to follow. Video can become an important contributor to your own overall SEO and digital advertising strategy, but it's important in order to be superior on how movie is going to help a person achieve your marketing and SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION goals. If you possess ever been into black-hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, spam, and un-natural links, Search engines will never forgive you plus you will be penalized by google at any time. As mentioned earlier, SEO organizations are usually the most experienced in working with various verticals of online marketing, mainly credited to the nature of their own work. Monitoring: Often overlooked, but one associated with the most important areas associated with successful SEO, this section strolls through how you can monitor your success and tie your own efforts back to real visitors and business, which gives a person the chance to future modify and optimize your programs.

SEO's basic importance comes from the particular fact that most users show strong search dominance — that will is usually, search is the main method people go places on the particular Internet. Reading blogs related to SEO might also be very useful within locating out concerning the essential companies on the market which usually are offering comprehensive and genuine Search engine optimization services toward the corporate sector. The initial SEO is dependent mostly on number of key phrases targeted and the size associated with your web site, while the particular ongoing link campaign depends even more on the competitiveness of the particular keywords chosen. Whether if you're an SEO newbie or the seasoned practitioner, I encourage a person to fully read this in order to understand how you can obtain your content on top associated with search results. 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In this particular post, we've broken down the particular very best SEO techniques to assist you skyrocket your rankings plus boost your number of regular monthly visitors. An accessible URL is definitely an important SEO ranking element. Heidi Cohen: To increase 2018 SEO results, marketers will keep on moving away from disposable, after and done content. They concentrate on SEO Internet marketing objectives and provide top search motor rank like Google and Bing. Collectively, these developments are plus can continue to have the dramatic impact on the method in which we search optimize our websites in 2019 plus form the core of the newest SEO 2019 update briefing.

A greater number associated with people will stick to tone of voice search, so SEO specialists may need to adjust to this particular relatively new kind of lookup. Seo or SEO is usually a powerful method to generate targeted traffic to your web site and hopefully increase your base line. Whilst many marketing tactics rely upon you reaching out to your own audience, SEO gives you the particular power to achieve people whenever they are actively searching out there information related to your solutions and products. White colored hat SEOs the actual recommendations of Google and other research engines like google. As Google's search engine outcomes become increasingly monetized and various other platforms such as Amazon plus YouTube gain more SoV plus search volume, I think we are going to overdue for the focus associated with SEO to shift far through Google. Traditional SEO will be focused on building (keyword relevant) links and (keyword relevant) content material. The main reason these kinds of are sometimes misunderstood is because there are a whole Internet underbelly of alleged SEO companies that you may pay to link to your own site on their networks associated with low-quality articles. However, before we obtain to our main event, We must note that after our own 2017 edition of SEO tendencies launched last year on Lookup Engine Journal, we heard the couple of complaints about simply how long it was. After that your boss tells you you aren't accountable for search engine optimisation (SEO), too. Michael jordan Harling, SEO Specialist at Roman Blinds Direct, agrees with the particular consensus that voice search will certainly be the trend in 2019.

Therefore, cheer up and tools up to policy for SEO- the particular organic top-ranking practice. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION (search engine optimization) places your own website within the natural outcomes section of search engines. SEO is specifically important for businesses because it guarantees they're answering their audience's greatest questions on search engines, whilst driving traffic to their items and services. Regarding marketers who were brought upward in the ‘traditional SEO marketplace, ' 2018 is really the time to adapt or expire. White hat SEO includes almost all the SEO practices we've spoken about so far which have got a long term approach in order to site optimization and focus upon the user experience and exactly what people need. Cost effectiveness - SEO is definitely one of the most most affordable marketing strategies because it focuses on users who are actively searching for your products and solutions online. The reality is that you can obtain top Search engine ranking opportunities spending a little bit associated with money and working on the particular project yourself or paying the professional Seo services thousands associated with dollars to get your Web site on the first page. Although black hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION methods may boost a cyberspace search engine page rank within the short term, these strategies could also get the web site banned from the search motors altogether. According in order to research and advisory firm Forrester, programmatic marketing is expected in order to account for 50% of almost all advertising by 2019.

You've added even more relevant content to your site article and increased the on-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION targeted against your focus keyword(s). Before my first ISS, My partner and i had always thought I can just learn everything by myself personally about global online marketing matters like International SEO just simply by doing online investigation and playing, but honestly nothing beats the particular efficiency of attending a convention like ISS where one can easily share your experiences and immediately gain a treasure trove regarding learnings and best practices by other international marketers. That method, you and your SEO may ensure that your site is definitely designed to be search engine-friendly from the bottom up. Even so, a good SEO can furthermore help improve a current web site. If you would like to know what kind associated with SEO trends are going in order to develop in 2019, look simply no further than the trends that will are developing in search within both 2017 and 2018. Webmasters are usually going to remain competitive within the online business when they will stick with SEO experts. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and social media marketing assure that one's site has the particular best SEO Online marketing, which usually means that their company may remain competitive in the on the web market. An SEO ("search engine optimization") expert is somebody trained to improve your presence on search engines. From an SEO perspective, an individual want to have more inner links pointing to your many important content. Keep in mind that will links, content, and user encounter are all major SEO rating factors. Could holistic approach will ultimately eliminate a lot of the particular issues created by some SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION practitioners over the years, I actually suspect that search engines' designers will initially overestimate the accuracy of their AI, resulting within Penguin-level collateral damage. SEO (Search Motor Optimization) is the process associated with making a website more noticeable in search results, also called improving search rankings. Siteimprove SEO furthermore provides in-tool tips on where to start as well as how to get the most out associated with your keyword research and supervising. We've already been operating in the SEO plus content marketing industry since last year and know how search motors work. Right now there are a great number associated with resources out there surrounding competing link analysis (and a great deal that have been authored simply by me! ) but whenever I actually speak with people that are usually working on SEO projects, really always one of those "yeah, I understand I should do this more" tasks. Amy Kilvington, Marketing Executive at Custom Drapes, believes that SEOs are heading to have to optimize social media marketing more as Google indexes this and prioritizes it over their particular sites' pages. Social media is usually the easiest and most efficient way to push out the SEO-based content. However, generally there are some easy adjustments that will you can make to the particular search engine optimization (SEO) component of it, which will ideally enable you to get fantastic results. We cover every topic inside the digital marketing sphere which includes SEO, technical SEO, local SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, PPC, SEM, content marketing, CRO, analytics, backlink, marketing strategy, cellular marketing, social media marketing plus much more. Any SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION company has to be capable to create high quality content material on an ongoing basis. SEO is the method for making changes to the website to be able in order to improve its position in the particular search engines like google. Robert feels that by 2019 most cellular searches will be conducted simply by voice by mobile devices or even virtual assistants in fact this is very important to obtain your positioning in the research engine ranking positions as quickly as possible. As the particular factors search engines like Search engines, Bing, and Yahoo use in order to rank sites are kept magic formula and change frequently, we develop all known SEO best methods into every Squarespace site. Black hat SEO may get you to the best of SERP in a brief time, however, search engines such as google will most probably punish and ban the website more rapidly or later. If might read from the beginning, a person know that links are the key SEO ranking factor. Right now there are 2 types of research engine optimization or SEO. Now, pay close up attention to the components of which make up on-page SEO, because this is where non-SEO authorities will be able to help make the most meaningful impact in their search engine rankings. If you understand you might have VERY lower-quality doorway pages on your own site, a person should remove them or re-think your SEO strategy if a person want to rank high within Google for the long expression. One of the difficulties search engines like yahoo and Bing have usually attempted to overcome is knowing which external links exist exclusively for SEO purposes and which usually links represent a true indicator that the source content is usually of value to the visitors. 2018 has currently seen some particularly significant SEO paradigm shifts from Mobile First” in order to the ever-advancing Rankbrain machine-learning criteria. Content marketing is usually a bigger approach which along with SEO forms a part associated with your digital marketing strategy. What You Should Know: Typically the future of search engine marketing is Semantic SEO. Links plus technical SEO are the biggest pieces of the pie, yet multimedia efforts such as movie, photos, and podcasts will become the game changer and differentiator in many competitive markets. Occasional, and I actually do more occasional and not really frequent, usage of keywords plus keyword phrases in these hyperlinks may also help very somewhat in your SEO processes. Excelling at SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION means serving your visitors—not simply search engines. Here arrives the idea of SEO or even search engine optimization. The particular fact remains that SEO solutions assure clients that even in case the site will not position among the top search motors like google, the money may not be a waste credited to the refund. You discuss core SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies and tactics used in order to drive more organic search prospects to a specific website or even set of websites, as properly as tactics to avoid in order to prevent penalization from search motors. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Smart links allows you in order to specify a word, like 'SEO' and then link it in order to a post on your web site. It's great for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION to feed the search motors a good amount of keyword-rich links. Sites making use of organic SEO in the strict sense is going to become much like organisms, meaning they will will grow, expand and adjust over time according to readers' desires. No matter the market, the age of business, or even status of competitors, every company should at least implement fundamental SEO strategies to help their own offerings get found on Yahoo. So your SEO if your own thinking mobile, needs to end up being either responsive or app-store technique with the right dimensions, style, user-friendly, UX experience. Dark hat SEO methods, such since the use of keyword filling and link farming, can furthermore boost organic SEO. SEO is definitely important in every area associated with advertising, marketing, design, optimization, video clip, content, mobile and e-commerce, with regard to without SEO all is untuned in need of synchronization, as an orchestra of musicians without a good experienced conductor. Unfortunately, 95% of links through SEO link building never provide a single new visitor in order to your website.