#also sorry it's so late but i wasn't online much for most of last week so it took a minute to get to it

[camgoloud]

List 10 songs with 10 names in the titles that I like, and then tag 10 people.

i was tagged by @nancywheeeler for this one, which was a great excuse to go trawling through all my spotify playlists/liked songs and revisit some music i haven't listened to recently! some of my favorites with names in the title include, in no particular order:

my lover cindy - marika hackman

seneca - novo amor

amie - pure prairie league

jackie and wilson - hozier

dionne - the japanese house featuring justin vernon (of bon iver fame)

movin' out (anthony's song) - billy joel

isabel's moment - king princess featuring tobias jesso jr.

dulcinea - man of la mancha musical soundtrack

francis forever - mitski

willie’s lady (child 6) - anaïs mitchell and jefferson hamer

tagging @friendamedes, @liesmyth, @arithmonym, @lesbianboyfriend, @aberfaeth, @recentlylocal, @etoile-gracieuse, @happi-tree, @transgirl-catra, @urban-sith, and anyone else who wants to do it!

[kraeki]

do you think szobo and curtis are good players? we love them as people and all but they get the most criticism online and i always see especially with curtis that he’s overrated. do you think it’s true, honestly?

Hi, sorry for the late answer, you sent this before the Bologna game before the Twitter hive collectively changed its mind about Dom, until the next game at least. But I'm glad I waited because what I was seeing on Twitter after that match helps me make my point in answering you. I ended up accidentally word vomiting though, so my answer is below the cut.

The short answer is that yes I think they are good players. Obviously I am not objective, especially not with Dom, but I would argue that their critics are not objective either.

The Twitter section of the LFC fandom has this weird thing where they can never be happy, they love moaning, sometimes I feel like certain people are almost gleeful after a loss because it gives them a chance to peddle their miserable agendas. But even in good spells they must always have a scapegoat to moan about. Before the season even started I felt like Andy had been picked as the chosen scapegoat by Twitter. Then he has been too good for them to be able to say anything (this will change the moment he has one bad game) so they had to find another scapegoat. Which was Dom until the Bologna game.

Why Dom? Because he was playing badly? No, I actually don't think he was playing badly. He had bad periods in games but others did as well. He just didn't have many wow moments and because he's Dominik Szoboszlai that wasn't good enough. He's putting in good shifts and an essential engine in the team machine but I think Dom is one of our more overly scrutinized and criticized players and I think the reasons for that are threefold: 1) For Hungary he's the star of the show, I don't usually watch their games but from what I've read he almost single handedly wins them some games. Liverpool fans can then be confused and bitter why he isn't doing the same for us, but he's playing a wildly different role in Liverpool, for both teams he's doing what's needed and it's not fair to compare it. 2) He had a crazy good start to his Liverpool career and is a victim of his own success because he set the bar so high that anything that came after that is a disappointment. 3) He's insanely good looking and people don't know how to handle it. It means he's overly talked about and an easy target for jokes and memes. idk if some of these dudes are just attracted to him and their panic about it manifests in hating on him or if they're just resentful of how perfect he is and have to find faults??

Whatever the reason is, it seems like there always has to be discourse about him. He's either the best midfielder in the world and Stevie G reborn or a terrible signing. He's never allowed to just exist and play football at a consistently high level. And it's such a bandwagon effect as well. After the Bologna game a few people started saying that it was unfair how much the fanbase criticized Dom because he hadn't actually done anything to deserve it, and within one hour it seemed like every other account on there was scrambling to put out their own tweet about how underrated his performances have been. The same accounts that were probably calling for him to be benched last week. It just shows how insufferably reactionary the online fanbase is and I'm sick of it. I try not to pay too much attention to player discourse these days because it lacks all nuance and critical thinking.

Now for Curtis, the same reactionary scapegoat principle applies. But I haven't actually seen much criticism about him lately so it's interesting that you have. I think he has a bit the same problem as Dom, that his role in the team is not flashy. He's also a Scouser and while that endears him to the local fans, people have been saying for a long time that the only reason he gets to be in the team is because he's a Scouser and not because of his talent. I feel like this has died a bit down as he's gotten older but maybe the underlying sentiment lingers.

I don't think he's one of our best players, but we have a team of world class players and to answer your question, yes I do think he is a good player and probably underrated. I remember during his best spell last season that you could actually see Liverpool's overall performance statistically increase when he was on the pitch. His big problem is injuries though. Because it seems like he's been in great form multiple times after he manages find his rhythm and consistently starts games and then he always gets injured at the height of hype around him. Like when he was supposed to be called up to the senior England squad last March after he'd been so good for us and then he got injured and lost his chance. Heartbreaking.

I really didn't mean to write so much but here we are. Once upon a time you had plenty of bad players in Liverpool but we are very privileged now because you don't get to become a Liverpool player now if you aren't actually at a top club level.

The bottom line is that online football discourse is toxic and idiotic as hell. I wish more people just supported our players. You can point out their mistakes and criticize them without going all out with "get out of my clerb" stuff. And actually I also think Liverpool fans don't need to point out every single mistake or bad game our players have. We have opp fans to do that. We don't hype up our players enough and that's why our world class players are consistently so disrespected in the media and in awards.

You're a hero if you read this far, but yeah I think they're good players and not overrated!

[miyamoratsumuu]

IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY 🔥🔥🔥🔥 So here's my weekly checkup <3 How are youuu?? It's been raining really heavily so I hope you're fine

Wednesday was suspended for us, not sure for you, but I hope you got your rest if you didn't have school then 🫶🏽

I can finally work on my smau I'm shaking from excitementtt wjhehs andand earlier was the time we'd wear Filipiniana!! It was so cold in the room 🥲 Also crammed a presentation the night before and my group did it perfectly😍 Mixed feelings about this week going by fast... next week is our performance task week🤕 I'll get through all the presentations trust💪🏽

ANYWAYS RANT TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT PLEASEE ILY 💙💙

LOU HUHU I AM SO SORRY FOR ONLY ANSWERING THIS NOW EVEN THOUGH I SAID I'D ANSWER IT THE OTHER DAY 😞😞

for the most part, I've been fine!! and yeah, bc of the rain we had no f2f classes the whole week 🤕 LIKE HUHU I WAS SUFFERING THE WHOLE WEEK I REALLY DON'T LIKE ONLINE CLASSES:( I hope you were safe this week thoughh!! the rain + wind were really strong, I hope everyone that was affected by it is okay ☹️

AND YES I SAW UR SMAU I'LL READ IT A LITTLE LATER FINALLY!!!! and well buwan ng wika is over so we're temporarily free from the filipinianas now 😭 as much as I love our traditional clothing, it really isn't the best to wear for our school setting huhu

and omg idk what it is about cramming a presentation the night before and absolutely nailing it the next day?? SO SO HAPPY FOR U!!!! I HOPE YOU GOT THROUGH PERFORMANCE TASK WEEK OKAY!! wishing you all the best ml 🫶🏻

OKOK I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ‼️ TONS OF YAPPING AHEAD ‼️

so I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before but I *was* running for gr 10 representative in a partylist the other week BUT change of plans HAHA one of my all time fav teachers convinced me to switch partylists and run as president instead 😞 I really didn't want to at first bc I wasn't sure if I could do it and I didn't want to go against the president of the partylist I was in before</3 BUT she knows that I was aiming for the leadership award at graduation so she spent almost an hoir convincing me, along with some of my classmates + my other partylist members from my old party 🙏🏼 so guess what, I'm running for pres now!!! aha ahsh hshah haha hah 😅😅

campaigning has been going on for a week now, and I think we've been doing well!! most of my batchmates have been so so supportive of me and it just warms my heart sm idk ☹️ the election itself is next week i think, so wish me luck!!

OH OH AND OUR BUWAN OF WIKA CULMINATING WAS LAST WEEK FRIDAY!! we were tasked to write and perform a filipino rap based on the topic of "environment"

and omg when I tell you we did NOT have a practice until the day before the performance??? we were actually about to cry the day before and some of our groupmates actually teared up after our performance bc we all thought we didn't do the best idk 😞 BUT AAAAHHHH WE ENDED UP WINNING!!! AGAINST 7 OTHER GROUPS OMGOMGISHDJ MY JOY WAS WAY UP THERE

next on my to do list now is the tons of work of mine that got piled up over the week bc I was so busy with our campaigning materials that I wasn't able to do almost any of our assignments over online classes 😞😞 the ones I haven't done actually are supposed to be passed when f2f resumes but idk I have less than two days to finish everything huhu

ANYWAY I'D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW YOUR WEEK WANT BABES 🤍🤍 ILY ILY I'M SO SORRY AGAIN FOR RESPONDING TO THIS SO LATE</3

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[keepsmagnetoaway]

X-Men: The Hidden Years 1 (December 1999)

John Byrne & Tom Palmer

it'shappeningagain.gif

Ok, so. At the beginning of 1970 the ongoing X-Men title was cancelled (or, at least, it kept publishing, but all it printed was reprints of existing stories): it was revived five years later. In the intervening time, the X-Men still canonically existed within the Marvel universe, and popped up occasionally in other people's books, some of which we will eventually be reading. Once they'd come back later in 1970s, though, and then become massively popular in the 80s and 90s, Marvel concluded it might be fun (i.e. profitable) to go back and tell some stories of what happened to the still-around original team after the cancellation of the book. Thus, X-Men: The Hidden Years.

This wasn't a throw-away cash-in, though, or at least wasn't meant to be: Marvel brought in the then-legendary John Byrne to write and draw the series. Byrne had drawn and written for X-Men in the late 70s, in the heyday of its revival, contributing to the most important X-Men stories ever told, the Dark Phoenix saga and Days of Future Past (someday we might even get to read them), had then written a number of massively successful other Marvel series and then, at the end of the 80s, had been lured away by DC to reboot Superman himself, which he did to considerable acclaim. By the late 90s his star was fading a little bit - notably he was now constantly clashing with his editors and abruptly quitting titles when he didn't get what he wanted - but he was still drawing and writing major titles for DC and Marvel: he was and remains a massively productive and influential figure.

So Marvel - presumably - gritted their teeth and chucked a bunch of money at him to bring his talents back to the X-Men. This isn't the place to do a full history of comics in the 90s, but since Byrne had last written for them, the X-Men too had been on a journey, becoming massively popular and ultimately being the defining superheroes of the massive boom in comics - and then also the poster-children for the crash that came around 1996, when all the hype and collectible mania and, simply, bad art and storytelling came tumbling down (we'll get to some of these issues in, oh, about 2035). Which brings us, confusingly, back to 1970.

Yeah, ok, that was a whoooooole lot of lead-in for, sorry. This is also a very weird issue to read if, like me and perhaps like you if you're following along with this blog, you've just been reading the originals, because Byrne spends the first half of this double-length debut issue recapping what happened in them. Obviously this is a good idea - especially in 1999 when tracking down the issues online would have been next to impossible - but for me it's just very funny to see all this stuff I was reading last week be catapulted fowards into a totally different style and summarised in one panel per issue.

The contrast with the older art, which is still fresh in my mind, is obviously also interesting, and I think mostly not favourable to Byrne and Palmer's stuff here. This art isn't bad exactly, but it's...dull? Like, what is the style here? There barely is one.

It's very primary-colours-driven, a little simple-feeling. It's alright, but it's just...alright.

Anyway, jesus, does anything actually happen in this issue? Well, yes. The point Byrne is picking up from leaves him with two strands: the main team's adventures, and the fact that Iceman just sort-of quit, partly in response to the arrival of Havok and the whole vague love-triangle with Lorna. So we get a certain amount of this sort of thing.

Do you see what I mean when I say the art here is kind of childish? It seems sort of simplistic. as, frankly, does much of the dialogue.

Still, the main team (minus Iceman) are instead on their way to the Savage Land, for...reasons. Those reasons involving having to contact fucking Ka-Zar again.

Once there, they fight some "natives" before being captured by them, and Jean appears to die. Obviously this kind of fake-out is even sillier in a prequel book where we know she doesn't die at this point in the timeline but this post is long enough already so I'll not show you that whole bit. I'll finish instead by saying this: this shit wasn't ok in the 1960s, and it's really not ok in 1999. Jesus Christ.

I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think I'm going to enjoy this series.

[mtndewpitchblack]

if you see this no the FUCK you don't but having said that. no reblogs vent under readmore

IF AT ANY POINT YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN PARSE THE IDENTITIES OF ANY FOLLOWING SUBJECT ALIASES [3, 4, 5, 5², 5³, 5⁴, 5⁵, 7] EXIT THE READMORE!!!!

It feels like all of my friends are so busy right now. Everyone I know and hang out with has something else going on, and it's not their fault. I can't blame them, life is busy! I get that! It just feels, really strongly, like they're all finding time for things, though. Just not me. [7] and [5] are busy as hell obviously but it turns out they, well, at least [7], is hanging out with [5²] despite saying that [7] and I would hang out like last week :(. And I tried this weekend and [7] was, again, busy, after I canceled plans with [5³]

post canceled i just need friends with not 5 letter names

post uncanceled. anyways i canceled rave plans with [5³] bc i just had a long emotional conversation with [5²] and even THEN i felt like I was ignoring the stuff I felt and wanted to say just to make [5²] feel better AGAIN. because it's not like I've been doing everything I can to make other people feel better for the last like 5 years of my overactive guilty conscience!!! but I had to make [5²] feel better, of course, because IM not the most hurt one here, but then, it turns out [5²] was JUST HANGING OUT WITH [7]!!! IVE BEEN TRYING!!!!!!!! [7] HAD [5²] HELPING [7] CLEAN [7] APARTMENT!!! LIKE I HAVWNT BEEN TRYING TO TEXT THE GC FOR TWO WEEKS TRYING TO SEE [7+5]!!!! [5] isn't even replying anymore, and I KNOW [5] is busy but fuck ME if it doesn't seem like it's just ME Specifically Getting Ignored!!! I shouldn't have to text [5] individually just to get some kind of response (note I have not actually done that yet. If [5] is ignoring me for some reason that's HIS thing to navigate.) but like. three years or so. I've been trying to be helpful and nice amd funny and interesting and trying so hard not to talk too much about my interests because I've already made [7, 5²] involve themselves in my interests a fuck ton as it is, and [5] doesn't always do well with recommendations, which I have been trying so hard not to take personally because I know [5] doesn't mean it!!

Anyways I canceled the plans with [5³] to relax and not break down and because I also was supposed to hang out with [5⁴] and either watch my fav movie, a new show [5⁴] showed me, or I'd get to show [5⁴] one of the abandoned buildings nearby, which are all activities that LITERALLY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FRIDAY then. [5⁴] wasn't feeling good. so we raincheck for sat. Well now, it's sat, and [5⁴] has to go home to visit [5⁴] family, so we put it off for Sunday, and then it's Sunday, and [5⁴] gets back, barely texts about how [5⁴] water just got shut off and how there's an errand [5⁴] has to run, then about how "I'm sorry I'm so exhausted" which I GET bc it's your PARENTS HOUSE trust me brother i understand. so i try to reach out to literally any of my friends that I'm pretty sure might have time. See previous for results on this test with [7]. I didn't text [5, 5², 5³] or [5⁴], bc [5] isn't responding, I canceled with [5³], i still need time and space IRT [5²], and [5⁴] obviously canceled on me three days in a row which means [5⁴] MAY have lied about not being tired of me. But it turns out [3] was busy, and doesn't really ask me to clarify much on what I'm upset about, and ofc I'm not reaching out to mom and dad about this shit, and [5⁵+4] were supposed to play minecraft with me like ALL WEEKEND AND [4] kept canceling because of his late ass work shifts (ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED) and [5⁵] was barely on, bored, and isolated the whole time, and that was only like, Saturday, the only day anybody beyond myself alone played!! [5⁵+4] aren't even replying in our group chat sometimes!!! [5⁵] was just sitting AFK in the nether all day yesterday which means he was ONLINE SOMETIME BEFORE I GOT ON AND DIDNT TELL ANYONE DESPITE ME AAKING IN THE GROUPCHAT IF ANYONE WANTED TO PLAY YESTERDAY!!!! This shit is why losing friends always hurts me so goddamn much, because it seems like no matter how long it takes someone always eventually decides I'm too much and they start to step away. And what am I supposed to do, bring it up? Get my attention back out of guilt?? What kind of fucking egomaniac would I have to beeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! And sure there's inevitably a healthy way to communicate this stuff, but if they're BUSY I don't want to BOTHER them and if they're IGNORING ME then it doesn't MATTWR WHAT I SAY I GUESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[timeoverload]

I have been so angry all day and I am literally shaking still. I am trying really hard not to take it out on anyone. I think I might be a little hormonal.

I am still frustrated about what happened on Saturday but I haven't wanted to make a big deal out of it. I guess I am just supposed to wake up super early every Saturday and get ready in case you decide you want to message me. It is making me anxious now. I would appreciate to get some more notice next time because you didn't say anything until 1:30. I don't want to keep doing this and I just want to hang out now...

I wish you weren't mad at me about it because I wanted to see you too. I definitely didn't enjoy the rest of my weekend. I wish I wouldn't have had things I needed to do that day and that I had felt better. I really didn't mean to upset you or ruin your weekend. I'm sorry.

I also didn't know what I wanted to get but I think I figured it out. I want a snake on my upper right arm with some hibiscus flowers. I think I want red hibiscus flowers. I think I want to incorporate some more cherry blossoms into that or some other small flower. Flowers are kind of my thing I guess. I still haven't found any good reference pictures but I'm working on it. I'm sure whatever you come up with will look amazing as always. I know you were trying to convince me to get a koi on my arm but I want one on my leg. I am starting to get more ideas now.

I know that I had mentioned earlier last week that I needed to spend time over the weekend working on my finances because it has been bothering me a lot and I've been having nightmares about it. I am just trying to be responsible. I already got sued once last year. I didn't want to try to take out any money from my bank account over the weekend because I was waiting for my payments to clear.

I didn't have time to call the OBGYN's office today to pay my bill from a couple months ago and I owe them $200 still. I tried to pay online and it wasn't working. They closed before I got off work. I was super busy this afternoon and I got another call from a debt collector and I decided to answer it because I was already mad and having horrible anxiety about everything. I just want them to go away. The guy on the phone was super rude. They wanted money for a bill that I didn't even know I had from when I was in the hospital. I just decided to pay it even though it was over $300. I have like no savings left. I was trying to save up for a car but I knew I had a lot of bills to pay for first. I guess I didn't realize how much I owed because I'm so disorganized. Maybe I will learn this time.

There are things I need to buy right now too so I might be struggling for a while. I need to make sure I have enough in my account to cover the bills that are on auto-pay. I'm trying not to spend too much money on food at work. I know I need to have at least $100 for Friday. I hope I can also afford new glasses and take the cats to the vet next week. I won't get paid until next Friday.

I also wanted to order some things to donate but I didn't want to do that until I paid some stuff off. I am planning on doing that tonight so hopefully whatever I end up getting arrives on time. I'm not sure if I will have the energy to go to the store and it's easier for me to order things.

I didn't have a good day. It definitely felt like a Monday. I got woken up by a fox screaming outside my window. They like to hang out on the side of the house at night. I love them and I think they're adorable but they make the most unsettling noises. I went outside to get in my car for work and noticed my car door was frozen shut. I had to get a ride to work from my dad but I wasn't late thankfully. I'm glad I can rely on him when I need help. It was nice to not have to worry about parking or walking in the cold today.

When I got to work, I was the only one in the department and I didn't know where anyone was. I was trying to get my eye stuff set up when someone came running in to tell me there were priorities in decontam and they needed to be done right away. There were 6 impactor drills and those are a pain to wash and I ended up having to do it because no one else was around. I couldn't wait for someone to show up because I didn't have a lot of time to get them in the autoclave. I still had a lot of my own stuff to do but somehow I figured it out. I also set up a bunch of pans for the wrong doctor because I've been distracted and lost in my head. They can still use the pans tomorrow but I try to be accurate so I don't create more work for the techs but there's not much I can do about it now. The state showed up for a surprise inspection this morning and they are supposed to be there until Thursday. Everything is always so chaotic when they show up because the people in charge are trying to cover their asses and hide things. Everyone is so stressed out and I hate it. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow because they are going to follow me and watch me work for a while and that's going to be nerve-racking. I'm trying not to think about it. I'm glad I didn't have to stay late tonight because I was on the verge of having an episode at work.

It's nice to be home now. I think I'm finally starting to calm down. I have no idea what I'm going to eat tonight but my stomach still feels like it's in knots. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the rest of the week but I will survive. I still have so much stuff to do tonight so I probably should stop writing now. I am already so tired but I am expecting to be up late tonight anyway. Hopefully tomorrow is better than I think it will be.

I hope everyone else has a lovely evening. Thanks for listening to me vent.

💖💖💖

[otakubells]

Hi Tumblr!

How are you?

Sorry for the late visit. I know you know I've only ever come here to vent my frustrations in life. Well, here's a short update, i got married last year and after being married for 4 months, i decided to quit my job. It may have been quite an impulsive decision, a spur of the moment kind of thing, but know that resigning was already knocking on my head's door since 2019.

You asked if I disliked my job? No, not entirely. In fact, I've come to love it. Auditing was very challenging but it was interesting and i liked learning about my cases. I didn't like public speaking but I've come to love how we conduct seminars to educate our taxpayers (tho it always made me nervous). I liked my co workers too.

Despite this, there were cons too. I didn't liked how it felt like I only got a little time to work on my cases and it made me stressed because i always wanted to do a good job. I wanted to do more, but i wasn't able to and it was very frustrating. Over time the feeling of frustration turned to discouragement and my once burning passion died down.

Also, you've already known for a long time that I was quite the introvert type right? Well, that's also the part which brought so much stress for me at work. I had to deal with different kinds of people everyday. At first I challenged myself to face them, to face it -- my shy, aloof, no self-confidence self. I told myself i had to do it cause its part of my work and dealing with people is a must in all walks of life. I tried, i struggled hard. I think it paid off cause somehow i know i made improvements and that made me happy. But there came a time where work was so overwhelming and people were also very overwhelming that i cried myself to sleep everynight. Everyday felt like a battle I had to win and work felt like I was always standing at the tip of the cliff, and it felt like so many things were trying to push me down that cliff and I felt scared, everyday i felt scared. I was stressed, i was scared, i was anxious, it felt like i was drowning.

Everyday i fought. Sometimes I won, most of the times i lost and everytime i lose, i drowned in my thoughts and everynight it pulled me deeper.

I became disorganized and out of focus, my head was always full of things that i wanted to do but my body and mind cant keep up. I cant finish a single task because while doing one thing im thinking of another and everyday became full of distractions. My husband tried to pull me up several times but my mind was in a total mess and i always find myself drowning again. I also tried to help myself but i couldn't. I couldn't even take care of myself, i couldn't take care of the house, i couldn't take care of anything.

Then, there came a time when i felt like i was at my weakest, i had problems at home, i had problems at work, i had problems with myself. It was a time where i wished people would be a little bit kinder, but they weren't. I told myself i had enough and decided to pass my resignation letter thinking i could still find a job somewhere.

Now, I am currently a freeloader. I liked doing nothing. I liked feeling stress free. I am slowly getting back up to the surface again. But now i have new problems to face, it seems like i dont like the feeling of being useless, the feeling of depending on someone. I am scared that if I continue to be like this i would lose myself and i didnt want to feel that if i lose the person im depending now, i would become nothing, i would become empty. And now its eating my self esteem and self confidence again. I feel like life stopped beating. I tried finding jobs online, but everytime i read the job description, i doubt myself. Can i do it? Am i capable? What if I dont qualify? What if i cant do it?

I have been overthinking a lot of things and i can't help it and thats why im here typing this long long post at 1 am. Coz my insomnia is visiting me and she's here for weeks now.

I A M L O S T!

Someone save me, coz i think im starting to drown myself again.

[jettman1970]

Well, it's a new year. I'm excited about my future without Samantha. I loved her dearly and I still do. I initiated No Contact again. Let me tell you what she did to me.

We broke up the last week of June. We were in our couples therapy session. She said it in front of the therapist and was very adamant and made it very clear to both me and the therapist that she no longer had any interest whatsoever in being in a romantic relationship with me. She said we could be friends but that was it.

It was a week or so after that that I came across that YouTube video that finally gave me the answers I had been looking for. From there I watched more videos, read books and online forums. Talked to other people and learned as much as I could.

We remained friends for a month or so after that when she finally cut me off and went no contact and blocked me basically because I had stopped giving her narcissist supply. She had also found and befriended a therapist prior to blocking me. She wasn't an official patient because she wasn't paying him. It was more of a mentorship as I was later told. The way she talked about him I knew she blocked me because I figured this guy was her New Supply. I was no longer needed, especially since I wasn't giving her any supply.

I was miserable during no contact, but I finally knew she is a narcissist and what was going on and I was determined to never see or talk to her again.

September 15. Very late in the afternoon, I'm getting ready to get off work soon. I suddenly hear her text tone. My heart is in my throat. My stomach is in knots. She texted me!?. She's never broken no contact before. Because of the trauma bond she created, I was always the one to do it.

I debated myself for a few minutes whether or not I should respond. Well, I did.

Turns out, she's at the emergency room. She had to have an outpatient surgery that morning. After she got home that morning, she decided to make lunch and she started having chest pains and dizzy and short of breath. She called an ambulance and now she's in the emergency room. She can't talk on the phone because of where she's at, so we're texting only. I finally get off work and go to the hospital. I'm in the waiting room thinking she's going to be admitted and just waiting to go back to see her.

I'm on my phone playing a game while waiting and all of a sudden she's standing there saying let's go.

Turns out she's been there for hours and because she went by ambulance she didn't grab her pain meds from the surgery. The ER wouldn't give her any meds and was basically ignoring her.

She called her surgeon and told him what was going on. We went back to her new apartment got pain meds and went to another hospital that her surgeon told her to go to. He called them and they were waiting for her.

The surgery she had was on her hand. It was a pretty intense surgery and she couldn't use her hand or arm.

I hadn't spoken with her in over a month so I'm trying to piece together what is going on. I asked how she got to the hospital that morning. Turns out, her therapist friend picked her up and took her. He also picked her up afterwards and took her home. She wasn't too happy with him because he didn't cater to her as much as she thought he should have. He basically pulled up to the apartment building and let her out. And he was basically gone before she got into the apartment.

I never met or talked to him but based on things she told me about conversations they had prior to her blocking me the last time, he didn't have a very high opinion of me.

So because of his treatment, she reached out to me. The one person in her universe that she knew would help her. Would come to her aid, no matter what. And I did. I came to her aid. I felt sorry for her. And of course I still love her deeply. She tells everyone that I don't. And creates situations where I'm not able to do or be there for her when she needs it most. All in the name of making me out to be the bad guy and something she can point to and say "See, look how he's treating me. He doesn't care"

So, after surgery, she needs assistance with common tasks. Her son lived with her at the time, so he could do some of it. But, as far as hygiene goes there was no one she felt comfortable enough with having help her shower and whatnot. She asked if I would be willing to help. I of course did.

So after work every day, I would go over to her apartment and help her get a shower, wash her hair, help her get dressed, etc.

I knew from the start that I was just being used. That as soon as she was well enough, I would be gone again. But I couldn't help myself. I couldn't say no. I was compelled to help her.

Within the week of me being back in the picture, her therapist friend finds out that I'm helping her and he pretty much tells her to get bent and no longer is talking to her.

So I'm in therapy myself. My therapist is the same one that she was seeing and is the same one that we were seeing for couples counseling. So she knows both sides. I tell her what's going on. I tell her about the therapist friend. I thought their relationship was kinda inappropriate to begin with but my therapist is now questioning it. The whole patient, client and ethics thing. The whole thing looks highly inappropriate. Dude could lose his license.

Anyway, I'm not happy about helping her. I don't really want to do it. But I feel sorry for her and I know there's no one else that can or will. And I just can't say no.

So, that night, I decided to question her more about the relationship with her and the therapist. I asked her about him violating ethics and whatnot. She said she asked him about that as well. His response was that they were good because they were friends and she wasn't paying him or seeing him for regular appointments. And that their relationship was more of a mentorship because he was also helping her get back into school and get into the psychology field.

She then proceeded to rip my heart out of my chest and stomp it into mush right in front of me. In hindsight I should of left her standing there in the shower and walked out and never looked back. But this fucking trauma bond....ugh. I couldn't do it. Even after what she JUST FUCKING SAID! After she told me what he said, she then told me that he is so supportive and that she's never had good support from anyone she's ever dated. And she deserves a relationship with that kind of support and she's going to find that man.

I'm standing there in the bathroom looking at her in the shower say this to me just after I washed her hair, scrubbed her body and everything else I've done for her. In my head, I'm saying "Do you not hear yourself!?" The only person on the planet that is willing to stand here doing what I'm doing and she has the fucking nerve to say that to me.

I live almost an hour drive from her apartment. After that night on the drive home, I cry like I never have. Thinking about all the things I've done for her. All the times she's shown me how she truly is and I couldn't see it. The realization that I poured my heart into the relationship trying to make us work thinking she felt the same only to get punched in the face like that. She doesn't and never has cared about me. It's so hard trying to wrap my head around that. Even now, months later I still struggle with that realization. Narcissists are the cruelest people on the planet.

She gradually gets better from her surgery and is able to take care of herself again. I'm not needed for showers anymore. Good.

Around this time, she lets one of her very good friendships implode. I don't know why. He's a gay man that she used to work with a while back. They've been friends since I first met her. Although, I never met him, I actually liked him. I think he's a pretty decent guy. He seemed to be a really good friend to her and gave her support when her and I were having issues. I don't know what he really thinks about me. She once told me that he loves me, but he wants to punch me in the face. I have no idea if that is true or not. Narcissists smear people badly. I know she's smeared me relentlessly. That's why I couldn't ever meet anyone she knew. I couldn't even go into the chiropractors office with her once because she didn't want them to know her and I were together. Who knows what she's told them.

Anyway, this guy lives in Florida. I think distance is the only reason we haven't met. I've been with her while she's on speaker phone with him and we've even said a few things to each other. So I don't really know where I stand with him. I've reached out on Instagram,so we'll see.

So there was a miscommunication from what I can tell between the two of them. It started while her and I were no contact but she showed me the texts. Yeah, she blame shifting and thinking he's putting all the blame on her and she's pissed off. She blocks him. I try to reason with her. I say it's just a miscommunication. You should reach out and fix it. But her ego and pride got in the way.

So we're carrying on. I'm trying to maintain a certain distance because I don't want my heart broken yet again.

Somewhere in all this, a couple of Mormon missionaries approach her outside of her apartment. She engaged with them and liked what she heard and they exchanged numbers and are now communicating. She eventually goes to their church, bible studies etc and generally talks about how supportive they all are and that's what she needs. I think, well actually I know, this is New Supply!! I'm somewhat expecting her to invite me to start going with her. Except she doesn't.

I expect the discard to come any day. Except that it doesn't. We end up hanging out sometimes over the next few months, I help her around the apartment building things for her etc. We go to dinner a few times.

She stayed the night with me once. We were intimate. I stayed at her place a couple of times. Once we were intimate as well. I never brought up the subject of getting back together. She never did either. If she started bringing up heavy topics that went down that road, I wouldn't engage. I was treating her as a "friend". I didn't want to get back into it with her again because I knew exactly what would happen if I did.

So we carried on as friends and we ended up being together at Thanksgiving. On into December my boss has a party. I bring her along because I'm trying to get her a job with his wife. Everything is good. I've been getting the sense she wants to get back together. We don't talk about it. I'm not really keen on the idea but I'm not necessarily opposed. I just want to take things really slow and see what happens. I know it's likely never going to work but deep down, I still have this tiny hope that she'll come around. Her son also moved out and back to California during this time.

About the middle of December, a homeless teen is murdered in the hallway of the apartment building next to hers. She's got anxiety and now it's kicking into overdrive. She's only just moved in a few months ago but is now looking for a new place.

This next part, I think might have been preplanned or a setup due to the circumstances. So she's out one morning before work looking at apartments. This is the Thursday before Christmas. Its raining, a lot. She's back in the leasing office after having viewed an apartment. She ends up slipping with her wet shoes and falls on her side. She can barely move, but she's able to get in the car and drive to the emergency room. I'm at work. I now have a new boss that doesn't afford me the liberties that my old boss did. I can't just take off.

She texted me saying she was in the ER. I called her and we talked. She told me what happened and that they might admit her but she wanted to go home but she would need someone to take care of her for several days because she can't move her arm because she landed on her shoulder. She also feels like she has broken something in her hip area. She asked if I had plans for Christmas. I hadn't yet decided if I was going to go visit my kids yet. But I tell her "Not really" She wasn't satisfied with that and asked sternly what I meant by that. I affirm it by saying that I had no plans for Christmas. I tell her that I have to work Friday so I couldn't sit with her all day. She's not happy about it and decided to stay in the hospital.

I don't know what it is but I was mad at this point. I was mad because I'm the only one that will answer that call but in the back of my mind I just knew she was taking advantage of me. My intuition I guess. I had a feeling she was milking it.

She wants me to bring her some things at the ER since she's going to be in the hospital for a bit. So I agree and after work I head to Walmart to get what she wants. When I'm finally able to get there she's upset and says she didn't think I was coming. I give the things she asked for and visit for a bit before they kicked me out and took her to her room. I told her I would see her tomorrow after work. I visited the next night and told her I would see her Saturday. So I stopped by Saturday morning and visited. They released her that afternoon. She ended up not breaking anything. Just bruised and beat up pretty good. She's able to get out of bed and go potty and whatnot.

I'm still under the assumption that I would be sitting with her over the weekend. We get to her place and she lets me do my laundry there. While that's going I find out she's going to church tomorrow. Christmas day. She then tells me that she's going to a lunch afterwards. 🤔. Okay. So laundry finished and I was expecting her to ask if I would stay. She never did. Sent me home. Okay. No problem. She's getting around okay. I'm thinking I'll just see her tomorrow. Christmas morning, I text her a Merry Christmas. She didn't respond for over a half hour. I didn't follow up to her response for a bit after that. I asked her how she was feeling. Sore. She had just gotten done with church.

I then asked her what time her dinner was. She told me. And she then mentioned she had plans after that too and that she's a busy woman.

🤔🤔

Okay, so I asked her what time she was going to be home. "Why?" she asked. I told her I have Christmas gifts for her. She then proceeded to get mad at me. And we texted back and forth a little bit. The gist is, is that she made plans because she never knows about me. I don't communicate. I was just with her yesterday and we could have exchanged gifts then.

She texted me a little while later saying she didn't think she was going to stay long at the lunch because she was hurting. Okay. Late in the afternoon, she texted again saying she wasn't planning on staying that long but she's going home to get ready for her next plans. Which was a date with someone. I assume it's someone from the Mormon church.

So, she milked her injuries enough to get me to commit to take care of her through Christmas. Disrupting any plans I might have had or decided to do just so I could make sure she was taken care of. Never once mentioned that she had plans for Christmas Day. I was actually looking forward to spending a little time with her on Christmas day.

I could have gone to see my kids for Christmas. She knew that, but now, half way through Christmas, she tells me this. So I never got to see her Christmas day. I have no family here. I only have friends from work so I can't exactly pop into their house for Christmas. I ended up spending Christmas completely alone because of her.

Why the fuck didn't she get her date to visit her in the hospital? Take her home? Do those things for her? Why couldn't she invite me to be her plus one for the Christmas lunch? I had her for my plus one at my boss's party. I figure that she didn't have me as a plus one is because she was the plus one or the guy she had a date with Christmas night was at the lunch.

Covert Narcissists are notorious for ruining holidays and special events. I should have seen this coming. I literally can't believe she fucked me like that. Ugh, I'm so fucking mad. Never again.

[tired-teacher-blog]

Hey Teach!

Thought I would send in an ask! Loving your work, and this week has been kinda long and rough on my end. From applying to several different summer jobs, taking an online class, and recently being diagnosed with ADHD. I was wondering if I could get some comfort and spice to distract me from the hard stuff in the moment with my favorite boys, aka Shinsou, Kiri, Bakugou, and Todoroki... I don't mind if they are all together or seperate! Also if you'd like you are always allowed to through in our other favorite sleepy head teacher Aziawa into the mix! Thanks again!!!

Hi sweetie! Thank you so much for sending in a request and I'm so sorry it took me forever to get to it. I wasn't feeling well lately and I didn't want to deliver a half assed work. Anyway, I'm really sorry you're going through a hard time lately and I wish this humble gift would lift your spirits ❤️

Title : Here for you

Characters : Bakugo/ Shinsou/ Kirishima/ Shouto/ Gender neutral reader

Genre : Fluff/ angst/ tw: reference to adhd symptoms.

Summary : When your adhd symptoms get too intense to the point of interfering with your work, causing you trouble and lowering your self-esteem, your sweetheart becomes the only one to provide you with comfort.

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

Bakugo :

You stand a moment too long studying your features in front of your bathroom mirror, before splashing more cold water on your face and hoping it would conceal your puffy eyes.

_ "Babe! Dinner is ready come on!" Your boyfriend's shouts reach you from the other side of the door and you take a deep breath going out and hoping he wouldn't notice.

For a while it works, as you manage to suppress your feelings.

However, it all goes to hell when he playfully pulls you on top of him on the couch. You slap his hands away and lash out on a poor unexpected Katsuki..

His eyes are wide open, and the sight brings you back to your senses.

_ "I'm sorry Katsuki, please.. I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to..." Your tears are flowing but it doesn't matter, all that matters is for him to comprehend.

He stands up and wordlessly reachs an arm out for you, wiping your tears away and smiling reassuringly.

He knows, he understands, and most of all, he hates it when you explain.

You squeeze the hand caressing your cheek, begging for it to remain in place.. it does.

His other hand slips around your waist and pulls you gently to his embrace.

_ " Don't apologize, and don't explain anything." he kisses your trembling shoulder, "did something happen at work today?" you nod faintly and start talking about what got you in trouble this time around.

He's patient and he's listening carefully to every word you're saying, offering you small kisses and an encouraging back rub.

You finally fall silent but keep your face buried deep in his chest.

_ "You really had a rough day huh? But you're here and you're still doing your best despite it all and that's what's important. Mistakes happen no matter what so don't let it get to you, but if that asshole of a boss ever gives you a hard time I'll kick his fucking ass for you. Just say it!"

His last words bring the cutest hearty giggles out of you, he loves them and would fight the world to guard them.

_ "Thank you honey, but I can handle that asshole myself." You beam through your tears and sniffles, gazing at him with confidence.

_ "That's my sweetheart! I'm proud of you." He returns your smile and leans in for a deep kiss, one that takes your breath away.

Kirishima :

_ "... Can you believe that? I laughed my ass off!" Your boyfriend is enthusiastically telling you about something that happened with him at work today but you can't, for the life of you, keep up with him.

You suddenly feel overwhelmed and it shows upon your features. You can tell by the way his smile has disappeared.

_ "Honey are you alright?" Eijiro takes your hand in his as he attempts to pull you back to him.

You nod as a response, although too fast for it to be believable. He stands up from his chair pulling you gently with him before taking you straight to your bedroom and leaving your dinner almost untouched.

He didn't really need to ask since it isn't the first time. You're mostly alright -managing to be precise- but sometimes it gets too much for you to bare especially if you start having problems at work.

He drags you to bed, laying down and positioning you on top of him.

It's your favorite position, you like to place your head on his chest and listen to his steady heartbeat. It always helps.

_ "Do you want to talk about it?" His voice is as gentle as ever.

_ "I messed up again at work.. I keep causing trouble.."

_ "Hey y/n it's fine you know? Having set backs here and there is a part of life. And look at you! You're strong and stubborn and you managed to accomplish what many others couldn't despite your struggles. I'm proud of you."

He truly is proud of you and he never misses a chance to give you a reminder. He pulls you closer and kisses the top of your head while his fingers trace gentle shapes on your back.

You start to relax in his arms, and your smile finally returns.

_ "Thank you for believing in me Eijiro."

_ "Always." He lifts your head up and locks your lips in a sweet kiss.

Shouto :

Today was one of those days..

_ "Hello."

_ "Shouto.. are you still at work?"

_ "I'm on my way home honey, how about you?"

And for a moment he hears no answer.

_ "Y/n what's happening?", his voice sounds a bit tense now.

_ "I'm home, I've been home the whole day, please get here quickly."

He blinks a few times in confusion, you two went out together in the morning, each headed to your own workplace, so what does this mean?

_ "Alright sweetheart I'll be there in a minute."

You hang up the phone and bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly in a futile attempt to stop yourself from shaking.

Moments later, your boyfriend's worried voice reaches you: "y/n! I'm home babe." it doesn't take him long to find you cooped up on the couch.

He approaches you slowly and places a gentle hand on top of your head.

_ "What's the matter honey? Talk to me."

_ "I've been sent home today because I messed up during the meeting.. I'm a burden, and an embarrassment! I keep causing trouble for myself and even for you! I don't understand.. I keep trying my best but it never works.. I'm so sorry.. I'm.." your sobs prevent you from carrying on. You're hurt, and ashamed.

You hide your face behind your hands and weep.

You feel the couch cushion dip under his weight and flinch when his palm starts tracing your spine.

_ "Stop blaming yourself over everything love. Who said you were a burden?! Don't even joke about it. You're smart and tough, and you never back down. I admire that about you more than words can explain." he gently pulls you completely on top of him, kissing your temple and bringing your head to rest on his shoulder, "there is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed or messing up sometimes, you've got me and I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you need I won't hesitate to do it."

_ "I want you to keep holding me Shouto, please don't let me go." you're fisting his shirt as you beg and he squeezes you closer to himself: "I will never let you go."

Shinsou :

You're tossing and turning in bed, unable to stay still for a moment.

You haven't been feeling all that well for days and as much as you tried to, you couldn't hide it from your boyfriend.

He's been doing his best to help but nothing is working, and you have finally reached your breaking point.

You're suffocating, you just want to scream at the top of your lungs, maybe then you'll start feeling better.

Your boyfriend is a light sleeper, and you're afraid of accidentally waking him up if you keep fidgeting, so you carefully leave the bed and walk out of the room.

However, you weren't as quiet as you thought you were, because the moment you stepped foot outside of your shared bedroom, a groggy voice along with shuffling feet followed you outside.

_ "y/n, is everything okay beautiful?" he plops down on the floor right next to you and he can't help but notice your shaky legs.

_ "I don't think so, I feel like I'm about to explode." You tighten your fists and clench your jaws as you try to keep it all in check.

_ "Don't hold back", he whispers smoothing a palm over your trembling thigh, "whether you want to cry, scream, talk, hit the wall or even me, go ahead and do it."

You turn around to face him, unsure of what to say or do, but seeing his sleepy eyes and sweet smile clear up your mind at last.

You move to sit on his lap and rest your head against his shoulder: "please hug me Hitoshi.. that's all I need."

He does as instructed, holding you tightly against his chest and placing the softest kisses all over your face and neck.

Your eyes are burning but you are no longer forcing your tears back.

_ "It's alright love, this is good, cry as much as you need and leave nothing in." he lifts your head up and kisses your tear stained eyelashes, "I'm here for you, no matter how hard it gets you'll always have me by your side and that's a promise."

And for the first time in days, your heart is finally feeling lighter.

@kingsheir

[agirldying]

*possible TW for mentions of abuse and possible sa mentions I'm not sure so just adding this to be safe*

Hey Bun,

I'm sorry I've been sending a lot of asks lately and I know I sound like a broken record but last night I had like a breakdown/breakthrough?? I guess.

Like his mom came over to spend the weekend with us and last night we were up alone talking about things and I told her everything. Like I told her about all the abuse, the physical, mental and emotional abuse. I told her about the sexual abuse as well. Idk why I did it it's like I just started talking and I couldn't stop.

She told me she believed me, she said she remembers when i had told her about it this last February but like that time I didn't really go into any details. This time I told everything. No censor no changing things around no hiding anything. I just told the whole truth and how I felt and feel about it and I can't believe she actually believed me.

Like it felt so good to tell someone in my real life what happened and what I actually went through and for them to tell me they believed me, especially with her being my mother in law.

The only thing that I would say is negative out of this is that talking about it in full detail like that brought up a lot of details that were repressed?? I don't want to say forgotten because I was able to say them so easily and recall them so well but it's like parts that I usually can't remember. I guess that was because I wasn't hiding anything from her that those details came out idk.

I told her about the money and the ads and how he calls it swinging but that I didn't want to do it and that it was rape. She told me the same thing you told me that it was trafficking. I couldn't believe the words. She told me "he sold you to those men online, you could've died or caught some type of disease. That was so dangerous". Like just the weight of her words like the fact that she understands how serious that was it relieved me but also just broke me. Like hearing someone say he sold me just broke my heart all over again.

Like this is the first time ever that ive told someone in my real life who wasn't him so I didn't have to defend myself. I didn't have to hide how it makes me feel. I didn't have to fight about it or pretend it wasn't a big deal. And it hurt. It hurt for her to say that it was sexual abuse. It hurt to hear her say it was rape. It hurt to admit that the man I loved the most sold me to men I didn't know to be used. It hurt to admit that those things you read about or see on TV happened to me.

I think I've been going through like an episode of sorts the last few days especially but maybe it's been longer like a few weeks? I've just been having flashbacks so intensely and last night really triggered some new ones for me that I wasn't seeing before. I assume it's because I talked about it in so much detail but it felt good to actually tell someone who seems like they care.

She didn't tell me it was my fault she told me her son was sick, that it was a disgusting thing to do and that he didn't love me enough to protect me.

I guess really the hardest part for me is admitting I'm a victim of sex trafficking. Idk the weight of those words weighs so heavy on my mind it makes me sick. It makes me wish it never happened I just wish it would go away but it won't because it was the truth. It hurts me to know that I was sold to someone. That my body was worth a dollar amount, and sometimes not even that much.

I'm sorry this is really heavy and bad Bun, I think I really just like triggered myself. Maybe I re-traumatized myself by talking about what happened so vividly idk what happened. Its just like hurting again like it just happened all over again and all I wanted to do was be heard.

Anyway thank you so much for reading as always and thank you so much for your kindness and support. I hope you're doing okay.

Hey dying-weeds,

Please never apologize for sending me asks, that's what my inbox is intended for and it's nice to hear from you.

I know it was really rough but I think it's ultimately a good thing that you told her and that she was accepting about it. I'm so glad that she supports and believes you, I think it's so important for you to have someone like that in your life right now.

I can definitely understand how it's painful to be told that you're a sex trafficking survivor, among other things. But I think that there's some level of power in having a name for it, and also being able to identify it so that you can process it. But that's obviously at your own pace.

I think a lot of these traumas are still very fresh for you so it makes sense that it was very triggering to talk about the details with her. Please practice self-care during this time, drink plenty of water, rest, maybe have a bubble bath or something relaxing that you can enjoy. You've been through so much and you deserve some time to recover.

I hope I could help. I'm here if you want to comment on this or if you need to talk in the future. Thank you for the kind words and yes I am doing okay, thank you for asking.

[toutallyahoe]

Everybody Talks ~ Iwaizumi Hajime (Haikyuu) pt 2

requested by: --

a/n: holy shit— i had to break this one shot into three parts?!?

ugh, this is why i prefer wattpad and quotev bruuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh

you gremlins better enjoy this

part one | part two | part three

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"Hey sugar show me all your love?

All you're giving me is friction,"

It had been already a week and a half and his soulmate finally stopped listening to the song like it was god or something. Well, his soulmate never fully stopped as his soulmate seemed to play on it occasionally from time to time but it wasn't like earlier in the week where Hajime could barely sleep or focus on anything since the song was blasting on his ears in full volume.

Hajime was thankful that his soulmate finally regained their sanity back to not blast the song on a loop twenty-four seven like a maniac.

Still though, instead of the song "Everybody Talks" by Neon Trees on loop, it was replaced by an instrumental of the said song. Not really much of a change but hey, it was more bearable with out the singer singing the lyrics so loud Hajime was sure he'll go deaf.

And yes, Hajime knows the name of the song and the band. How can he not be though when he had been hearing this one particular song again and again for a week and a half. It seemed like his soulmate changed their taste again. More or less. It was a common occurrence as the dark haired male seemed to noticed that his soulmate enjoyed listening to music a lot.

Hajime liked to think his soulmate was perhaps an aspiring musician as the dark haired male sometimes hear some songs he never heard of, even if he searched it in online as best as he could.

"Hey sugar what you gotta say?

It started with a whisper!"

Snapping out of his thoughts. Hajime sighed again when he heard the familiar song... again. It seemed like his soulmate was listening to the song again. Actually, his soulmate had been listening for it for awhile now but had had the volume down that the dark haired male could easily tune it out. But it seemed like his soulmate was trying to have their eardrums bursting again.

"And that was when I kissed her!

And then she made my lips hurt!"

Shaking his head, Hajime reminded himself to focus. Currently, he had been asked by a teacher of his to deliver a box. Having nothing to do as Mondays he doesn't have any volleyball practice, Hajime agreed to take the box towards the light music club.

"I could hear the chit chat!

Take me to your love shack!"

The dark haired male had a bit trouble locating the club room of the light music club though. Hajime wasn't one to be interested in other extra curricular activities and other clubs as he was busy with his own club to manage. Being the vice captain of the volleyball club full of raging testosterone and hormonal boys, and having to deal with their bullshit was enough already. Hell, he even had to deal with Oikawa Tōru and that guy was the president! You could tell the stress the dark haired male had to deal with every single day.

"Mamas always gotta back track!

When everybody talks back!"

Hajime shakes his head again as he turned his attention the the box on his hands. The box wasn't that huge nor heavy. Maybe a bit heavy and the dark haired male assumed it was some music instrument or some sheets of music notes. Either way, he has to be careful since who know what was inside and how he'll be in trouble if he messed whatever is inside the box.

"Everybody talks, everybody talks,

Everybody talks, everybody talks,

Everybody talks, everybody talks back!"

Shifting his gaze from the box to the doors he was passing by. Hajime made sure to read the signs of the door to find the light music club he had to deliver the box too.

"It started with a whisper!

And that was when I kissed her!

Everybody talks, everybody talks back!"

   

It took awhile for the dark haired male the light music club room. Turns out the club room of the light music club was on the third floor, the third to the last room of the end of the building. Looking at the door of the room, it was the same as the rest of the doors of the rooms in the school. The only thing new about it was the sign on top of the door said "LIGHT MUSIC CLUB" in a very neat, bolded writing. Hajime almost passed the room for a second as everything was the same if he wasn't looking for it.

Sighing, the dark haired male noticed his soulmate was rather quite. They had been for awhile and Hajime didn't know whether to be overjoyed or not. He had noticed that his soulmate was also going silent for awhile and would normally just listen to music late at night or around the end of classes. Maybe sometimes listening in classes but mostly skipped unlike what they used to.

This really made Hajime curious on why the change of schedule his soulmate is currently doing as his soulmate was relentless and would always jam out to their song. But right now, Hajime should focusing on the task at hand. Going back to reality and cursing his soulmate— even when they are not annoying him with their music blasting in full volume inside his mind, Hajime is still getting distracted by them. Cute but also, how annoying.

Looking at the door again then at the box in his hand. Hajime breathed in and out. He did not know why but oddly enough, he felt a bit nervous. Maybe he was just stressed out? Perhaps. The dark haired male really doesn't have a single clue.

The dark haired male decided to just get this over with. Swallowing the anxiety that just appeared out of nowhere, Hajime was about to knock on the door when the familiar song came inside his mind again, but this time... more louder...?

"Hey baby won't you look my way?

I can be your new addiction."

"What the hell...?" Hajime muttered, confused and bewildered. The dark haired male swore he was hallucinating the song his soulmate was playing all the time. He had to be right or perhaps he was having auditory problems? Maybe he finally lost it with his soulmate's non-stop jamming to the song that it made him finally gone insane.

"Hey baby what you gotta say?

All you're giving me is fiction."

It took a second or two for Hajime to realized he wasn't going insane for listening on a song for almost a week and a half non-stop. No, the dark haired male realized the song wasn't only playing inside his mind, but also somewhere in front of him. And Hajime looked at the door in front of him, he knows the sound was coming inside the light music club room.

"I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time,

I found out that everybody talks,

Everybody talks, everybody talks—"

The dark haired male didn't know what had came over him or what had possessed him to do such a thing, but he, Iwaizumi Hajime grabbed the handle of the door and hastily opened it.

"It started with a whisper!

And that was when I kissed her!

And then she made my lips hurt!"

The room had a cozy feel to it. It was like any room of the building in size but it had its own personality than the other rooms aswell. The window were covered with thick, black colored curtains that were shut tight at the moment. The walls were painted darker shade than the other room, a color of maroon.

Inside the room were chairs and some table on the side and most important of all, many different instrument raging from percussion to stringed and woodwinds instruments. There are mic stands and even a small podium inside the room. But Hajime wasn't focused on the room though. No, he was more focused on the person inside the room.

Inside the club room of the light music club was a lone male. This was [Last name] [Name]. Hajime only knew him because the male was the president of the light music club and had classes with his chocolate brown haired best friend.

[Name] had [Hair color] hair that was rather messy and wild looking and had its tips bleached white. [Skin color] skin that maybe held some imperfections that Hajime couldn't tell from the distance the two were in but the dark haired male noticed the [Hair color] haired male was wearing the Aoba Johsai school uniform.

Well, of course he was. [Name] was a student of the school after all, but the [Hair color] haired student seemed to had his white jacket discarded and put on a chair that was inside the room along with his bag. [Name] was standing in the small podium in the center of the room, two large speakers beside him that was blasting the rifts of the bass guitar that he was playing in his hands.

[Name] was wearing white headphones over his ears and had his eyes closed as he sang onto the microphone in front of his. His eyes closed, clueless to his own surroundings and was only lost to the music he was listening and singing too.

"I could hear the chit chat!

Take me to your love shack!"

Hajime felt his heart beating so fast inside his ribcage. He swore his heart would escape as he stood on the doorway of the room, frozen and gaping like a fish out of the water as his eyes widened in shock.

"Mamas always gotta back track!

When everybody talks back!"

Was this real? This had to be a joke, right?

Holy shit. His soulmate— his fucking soulmate wasn't farther away than he had thought. His soulmate was [Last name] [Name], the president of the light music club and they were only a few steps away from each other. Not the miles and miles apart Hajime had admitted to himself a long time ago.

"Hey honey you could be my drug?

You could be my new prescription."

Was this the reason he had been hearing the song "Everybody Talks" for a week and a half now? Because his soulmate was truly an aspiring musician?

"Too much could be an overdose!

All this trash talk make me itchin'!"

It seemed like Hajime wasn't wrong about his thoughts on his soulmate enjoying music because they had a passion for it. His soulmate, [Name], was literally the president of a club dedicated to music making!

"Oh my, my,

Everybody talks, everybody talks,

Everybody talks, too much..."

As Hajime continuously stood there like a statue, the [Hair color] haired male finally noticed him when he had opened his eyes to see the dark haired male.

"It started with a whisper..." [Name] softly sang as he then stopped strumming the bass guitar on his hands and took his headphones off his ears. Instead, he let the white headphones hang loosely on his neck as he jumped of the mini podium and went towards the frozen male.

"Uh, hey?" [Name] awkwardly greeted Hajime as he stood in front of the dark haired male. "Do you need something?" The [Hair color] haired male asked as he looked at the volleyball player up and down.

[Name] knew who this was. This was the infamous ace of the males volleyball club of Aoba Johsai. The pride and joy of the school, the volleyball club was. Iwaizumi Hajime may not be popular like Oikawa Tōru (who he share homeroom with) like the rest of the other members of the club, but the dark haired ace still garnered recognition from others. He was, after all, the ace of the sport.

Now this brings the question on why the ace of the volleyball club was in his club's doorstep. Normally, no one comes into the light music club except members (who already went home as everyone Mondays are no club time for them) or close friends of the said members to watch them goof off and perform. And [Name] was pretty sure that Hajime wasn't a close friend of his members as he prided himself to actually known his fellow members in the light music club. After all, what kind a president would he be if wasn't close with his members and his members friends?

So, if it isn't any if those two, this leads to only one conclusion.

Snapping his fingers in a "hurrah" moment. The [Hair color] haired male did not paid mind on Hajime flinching a bit on the snap of his fingers as he sent the dark haired ace an apologetic grin.

"If you're here because of how loud I'm playing again, I promise I'll keep it down!" [Name] had awkwardly said as he grinned. This wasn't the first time people actually visited the club to complain how loud they were playing, or more specifically, how he was playing. [Name] was a passionate guy and it his passion also shows in his playing. And so, he sometimes gets too into his music.

"So, uhhh, don't worry!" The [Hair color] haired male chuckled but his relief was immediately washed away and was replaced with confusion when he saw the dark haired male shakes his head and avoided eye contact with him. Did he do something wrong?

"No, that's not it," Hajime had said as he awkwardly coughed and avoided looking at [Name] in his [Eye color] eyes. Why was he feeling embarrassed again? He wasn't the one getting caught singing their heart out for goodness sake! Yet, Hajime felt a bit shy which was uncharacteristic of him.

This was his soulmate though. Iwaizumi Hajime may be jumping on the gun here and was probably wrong but the inner hopeless romantic he denied that he had was desperately screaming at him that this was no coincidence.

The light music club president was singing the fucking song his soulmate was listening to and Hajime could still hear the song playing even just a tiny bit and the dark haired male could practically hear [Name]'s music on the headphones hanging lazily on his neck. And it was the same fucking song.

Clearing his throat. Hajime reminded himself to focus. He could tell [Name] about them both being soulmates after he delivered the box that he was asked to give.

"Tōrasu-sensei asked me to deliver this," Hajime had said as he finally looked at the other male and saw the [Hair color] haired male just noticed the box he was carrying. Hajime had to bite back the nerves coming back when he made brief eye contact with [Name].

Fuck, he had been waiting for this moment his whole life, so why did he feel so nervous?!?

Hajime didn't expect his soulmate to be so closer to him and be a male. Yes, the dark haired male knew the possibility of having the same sex soulmate as it wasn't a new thing really. In fact, having same sex partners are more common than what other people would think. Still, Hajime never expected this and he was having mix feelings about it.

"Oh," Hajime was dragged out of his thoughts again by [Name] with the male sporting a dumbfounded look for a second as his lips was in a "o" form. The [Hair color] haired male seemed to realized what he was here for and had flashed him a large smile. The dark haired male just noticed that [Name] actually had a few piercing in his ears and that he had really nice [Eye color] eyes that shined with energy.

"Thanks for delivering!" [Name] thanked as he carefully took the box from the dark haired male when Hajime was too busy looking at him. The [Hair color] haired male was a bit amused when he noticed Hajime blinked a couple of times when he took the box away from him. Looks like the volleyball player was lost in his thoughts.

"I had been waiting for this baby for awhile now," [Name] said as he patted the top of the box and sent Hajime a grateful smile. "So, thanks, really."

"No problem," Hajime shrugged as he nodded his head at the [Hair color] haired male. It seemed like the dark haired male was back and acting normal again. Not that [Name] would know really as he wasn't closed with the volleyball player.

"Not to be a bother but, what's inside the box?" Hajime had asked as he rubbed his hands, eying the box he just delivered. Hajime had his guesses earlier ago but he couldn't tell which of his guesses were correct really. The dark haired male noticed the male in front of him seemed to light up and beamed at him.

"Oh! It's supposed to be a surprise," [Name] had said. This caused Hajime to be more curious on what's inside the box, and [Name] seemed to actually be eager to tell as he sent Hajime a grin. "It's some stuff we'll be using in the school's festival next week!"

"Ah, is it some new instrument or something?" The volleyball player asked as he saw the light music club president chuckle while shaking his head. Hajime had to force himself to calm himself down when he saw the [Hair color] haired male sent him a wink with a cheeky grin on his lips.

"Now, I can't tell you about that!" [Name] had said with a laugh as he went to the nearest table and placed the box down. He then turned and gave Hajime another grateful smile. "It would ruin the surprise if I do."

"I see," Hajime muttered as he can't stop the small smile creeping onto his lips. "Then I'm sure it'll be a great surprise then!" Hajime said. The dark haired male didn't noticed how the [Hair color] haired male seemed to be a bit surprised with his words but he immediately grinned happily by Hajime's words.

"Oh, you bet!" [Name] said as he went back to stand in front of Hajime, holding his hand on to shake the dark haired male's hand. "Name's [Name] by the way! [Last name] [Name]!" He introduced.

"Iwaizumi Hajime," Hajime introduced himself aswell as he took the [Skin color] hand that [Name] outstretched for him to shake. A small smile on his lips as he shook hands with the light music club president.

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[years-waiting]

3. Bölüm

With much torture, I watched the third installment of Baht Oyunu!

Somebody please save me from this torment every week! Actually no, let me live the good times first as I'm in love with their relationship so far. I'm always worried if in the future I'll still like this dizi, not because is bad, AT ALL. It's because it's SO good, it reminds me the Sen Çal Kapımı beginning where I just wanted to watch it. After the disappointment it was, I am protecting myself from the same frustration, so here it goes. Oh! and sorry about my lateness, I wanted to make this perfect so here it comes.

You know, Ada is the best! All that acting with the crying and the dramatics, çok güzel! She makes me laugh by her being in the scene (that scene of her yelling to wake up that old man with Bora was the most I laughed on the episode. I'm still laughing!). I'm going to say this in every review, she's my tatlı! There's no one more sweet than her in this summer season. Ladies and gentlemen, applause for Cemre Baysel's performance in this bölüm. Well deserved.

I passed all week wondering wtf Tuğçe said to Ada to make her discomfortable and then it was just a proposal (or more of a demanding) for Ada to make a report about Bora's 24 hours. All the drama for that? Disappointing. I was actually making bets about what was it. Bora ran to help her for in the end to be nothing really big to happen between them right now.

Then her aunt decides that she has to help Tuğçe with winning Bora's heart. So it comes the next day with Ada's poor choice of fashion show (I mean, the girl was marvelous the day before with that look. It's my photo header, I loved it!). She apparently wants to look more like Tuğçe to make Bora see how Tuğçe is perfect for him (Doesn't work, of course). After that she tries to get his agenda of the day and discover he has a dinner meeting with an old friend, which it comes with my question, did that happen? Was it with a girl? My answer would be probably but I'm on the but as I sadly don't have the answer (I don't think I want to know).

*the earrings were the worse! It killed the whole look which was quite good*

Then there was Ada's idea of doing an online account for Tuğçe to talk with Bora (good thinking, was smart). I like that as I've been saying to myself that she has to start to fall in love with Bora right in this episode. Why? You ask me. Because last episode he was starting to fall for her and now I don't want to see her into this whole "I want Rüzgar" anymore. I want THEM together, right now! And them talking in private on that app was really cool (that sweet dream of Ada was a good sign of her feelings towards him, wasn't it?). Afterwards was the dinner date that was supposed to be with Tuğçe (or was it supposed to be with Ada? I'm confused now with the rights and wrongs of this situation) but it was with Ada (what a relief! I don't know if I'm capable of enduring such scene of Bora and Tuğçe romantically together. Ew!) and I have to be honest that I was afraid of this moment, could be a whole embarrassing moment for Ada and I hate this moments of a female lead (they're so common). Actually it was a positive scene, Bora showed me a whole different performance that was opposite of Serkan's. He's a good friend for asking and doing something for them as showed with that random guy (Serkan is annoying on this part, is there someone that is really his friend? I sometimes think Engin is just too stupid to not see it).

They were cute at this bonding moment at the Bosphorus, the ending with the racing was a good detail (I mean, the beginning with Ada's rambling to the racing end was perfect! Also, I like Ada's rambling, which is not something I can say for Haziran's in Ada Masalı). Next day comes with a better fashion look of Ada and a poor choice of action in Tuğçe's part (Seriously, it's a mountain house not a five star hotel in the Bosphorus). I was confused in this part of the show as I did not understand what was Ada's intentions. Does she want to help Tuğçe date Bora? Because if yes, then why she was refusing to stay on the backseat of Bora's car (I understand why she doesn't want for them to stay alone in that house. She has scruples and some second thoughts on her plan maybe), principally when Rüzgar was in the scene, she looked like she didn't want to be on his side (Do you really love this trash bag like you say girl? Not against you stopping, but I wanna keep up with you girl!). Maybe she is jealous you could say, but I rather think she's just a confusing bundle of nerves.

The ending with the sharing a bed trope was what I assigned for this summer (I'll say that every episode!), was well made and performed. I have to confess that when I saw the fragman I thought the path that would lead to that scene was a disappointing different way and it actually was way better as Ada told Bora the truth before she settled for the couch. Then Tuğçe as a normal person who when wakes up sees a man in her bed, yells. Bora and Ada ran to her and when they enter in the bedroom, Rüzgar is on his knees asking her to marry him. What will probably be Tuğçe's answer? A YES! Because she's gonna keep using him to try to get on Bora's nerves (If she knew that Bora doesn't have any nerves for her, jealousy is not on his future with her). Did I like this? My answer is maybe no? But I liked this episode, the comedy was really good and I'm happy for that. Bora and Ada's chemistry is wonderful so I had my critical side show but it didn't screw with my enjoyment of the show.

Some points to be said before I finish:

Sometimes I feel it seems forced Elif's scenes (I'm talking about the breakfast scene), don't get me wrong, maybe I'm just getting tired of some clichés and I'm pouring out here.

What was that scene with Rüzgar and Ada at Tuğçe's office? What makes me question was Bora looking at them, what was he thinking?

Around Rüzgar damn name. In my opinion, him locking himself in Tuğçe's bedroom was a sexual harassment. Seriously, doesn't this trash bag know how to respect women? Of course I don't like Tuğçe, but when a woman says no, it's NO.

What is the intention of Ada's friend Selin? At the beginning she appeared to be very smart by saying that Rüzgar was a total boy trash and that Ada should forget him. Now she wants to help Ada get Rüzgar back? Someone explain this to me because I'm not following.

That's all for now!

[oki-writes]

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: You and Kageyama have a child together. Living life as third years and teen parents.

Warning: teen pregnancy and cursing (looking at you Tsukki and Kags)

Your POV.

“Tobio how do I look” you spin in place showing off your new uniform for your third year.

Kageyama reply’s with a simply fine, while wrapping his arms around you.

Nobody’s POV.

Walking into your son’s room you start to get his day bag ready. Diapers, bottles, extra clothes, toys, wipes, and snacks. Lastly you put some extra cash for Miwa just in case.

Once finished you set out to dress Hiroto. Settling with a simply white button up and black shorts. Aiming to not make him stick out when he gets drop out at school later in the day.

The only reason for this though was because you were an A+ student. Also your afternoon class wasn't really academic based since you told most of them during your break. All you had to worry about was after school with the volleyball club since you were the manager along with Yachi. But, that was to worry about later. Your little family was ready for their first day of their last year of school.

Your POV.

“Miwa you sure you got Hiroto. I can always stay hom-“

“No you get to school. I’ll drop him off at lunch for you. Now get, don't be late. This is your last year, enjoy it because last year you really couldn’t. Now not but go on” Miwa said while pushing you out the door.

“Kags I don’t want to leave him, let’s go back home”

Kageyama just glanced at you with the look that said “keep walking or I’ll drag you”. I wonder how everyone on the team is going to react seeing Hiroto for the first time in a while. Ohhh. I forgot we have first years, it’s going to be so awkward to explain to them. Calm down (y/n) you got this. This is your years so own it.

“Um (n/n) what are you thinking about, you look stupid right now with that face”

“Oh shit up Tobio, I’m just thinking about having to explain to the new first years in the club about our child that’s all” you gripped his hand.

“Okay boke”

Wow I hadn’t seen the school for a while hopefully I don’t get lost. I’m sure they remodeled it looks different. Now where’s my class...ummm oh class 3-5.

“Bye babe see you later” I gave Kageyama a kiss and walked into class. Surprisingly I was pretty early and the only other people inside the room were Yachi, Yams, and Tsukki. I noticed they haven’t seen me come in, so being the great friend I was I creep behind Tsukki and...jumped on his back like a maniac.

“Oi who the fu- (Y/N)!!!!”

“Hey pals”

After the funny reunion people started to pile inside the classroom. Some of my classmates walked up to me and congratulated me for giving birth. Even the teacher that I recognized was my first year teacher, they must’ve been moved up to third years. Class started after everyone reintroduced themselves. At the end my teacher wanted to see the pictures of Hiroto that I have, so of course I showed them. As everyone said before “He looks just like Kageyama just with your eyes”. After that I got a text from Miwa saying she was at the front office to drop off Hiroto. I excused myself and left to pick up my son. Surprisingly Tobio was there waiting for me with Hiroto in his arms.

Your POV.

“Hey babe, I would have gotten him. I thought you wanted to practice some before school ended.”

“I did, but some of our friends wanted to see him and I was about to text you to meet me at the gym to have lunch with them.”

After the clarification, we guys walked to the gym. Hiroto was taking a nap when he got dropped off. I was planning to wake him up when we got there. After a few minutes we reach our friends inside.

“Hey guys we’re here sorry for being late”

“It’s fine” Hinata yelled then looking at the sleeping baby in Tobio’s arms

“I’m so sorry for yelling. I didn’t know he was asleep, Kageyama don’t hurt me” Hinata ran behind Yachi to avoid getting hit.

“Shoyo it’s fine I was about to wake him up anyways to eat or should I say drink” I walked up to Tobio and started to wake up Hiroto. He opened his big eyes and started to look around the room. He recognized Yachi since she came over a lot to help me with my studies after I gave birth.

After giving him his bottle I put him down onto the blanket we set out and let him crawl around. The conversation we had all together was basically about how Tobio was feeling about being a father. Also some funny moments that I told our friend group. For instance, me waking up at 2am because Tobio couldn’t remember how to make a bottle and failing miserably to the point he woke up the whole house screaming “(Y/N) HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE A BOTTLE” or the time Hiroto throw up on him right after he got out the shower.

Tobio of course didn’t want me to say any of that and called me boke the whole time. But, I thought it was cute.

After that funny conversation, I looked and didn't see my son with us anymore. “WHERE IS HIROTO” after I shouted that Tsukki walked back to us with Hiroto in his arms, stating that he was by the volleyballs trying to play with them. I thanked Tsukki for finding him and looked at Kags because he was just asleep. But, I can’t be that mad since he was up all last night with Hiroto.

Soon the bell rang signaling we had to go back to class. Yams and Tsukki went back to our classroom, while Yachi and I walked to the music room since we both got the afternoon free of academic class till next semester. The music room was pretty much quite beside the small orchestra that was playing. We decided to work on some homework while Hiroto played with some of the first years inside the room. I looked over checking on him and saw that he needed a diaper change. Apparently a first year had a baby sister and he offered to change him while I continued my homework.

An hour later the small orchestra left and Yachi suggested we go to the little garden at the back of the school since we finish our homework and plan what we’re going to do for the volleyball club today.

Nobody’s POV.

Yachi and (y/n) with Hiroto in Yachi’s arms reached the garden. Going over some activities they could do with the first years to make them feel included with the teams. Pulling out the list of people who were in the teams you guys started to try to remember all the names.

1st years:

Misuki Kenji

Otauka Jiro

Kudo Eito

Ando Ren

2nd years:

Ono Yokuto

Mori Koji

Sato Hisato

3rd years:

Kageyama Tobio

Hinata Shoyo

Tsukishima Kei

Yamaguchi Tadashi (Captain)

Managers:

HitokaYachi

Kuroo (Y/N)

From what the papers say a lot of these players came from power house schools so that’s a plus. So today instead of a team valuation, they planned a team bonding activity. You guys went over a list of different activities they could do and decided on two. One is just a pass and toss and the other is just a 6 v 6 match. After going over the finishing touches you guys started to make your way to the court to set up.

The bell rang and the first one there was Yams and then the other third years arrived. They already changed into their gym clothes and Kags came up to you and grabbed Hiroto from you. Later the second years arrived, they congratulated you again for having Hiroto. Now the first years were all that’s left.

“Hello is this the gym for the volleyball club”

Next.

Hey guys this the first chapter in my first every series. I’m still working on a update schedule but I plane to at least have one ch. per week even more if possible.

Also I usually do I have Spanish word of the day and today’s work is crow: el cuervo

@humanitysbiggestsimp @french-girl-online @yeehawslap

[moonslust]

Thank you so much @killerqueenlux for tagging me <33333, I haven't even started but I can tell this is gonna be almost empty cause I know nothing about me.

MUSIC

fav genre? *screams into the void*

fav artist? Queen but also way too many people

fav song? White queen live at Hammersmith 1975 <3

most listened song recently? Live forever by Oasis

song currently stuck in your head? Howdown Aldi Death Queue by Sam Fender

5 fav lyrics Oh my god I have no idea...this would take me a lifetime

Radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? fuck...I barely read I don't even know what the genres are,,,,,,I hate this

fav writer? ????????? I'm just gonna say Oscar Wilde because I saw a statue of him once in Ireland which was pretty cool (ok I know some quotes but I still have to start reading his books)

fav book series? Casi Angeles counts??

comfort book? my diary but also this fic by beautyandbravery called "falling into your ocean eyes". I think of that fic whenever I'm sad sigh

perfect book to read on a rainy day? Larry fanfics

fav characters? Larry? This sucks.

5 quotes from your fav books that you know by heart?

Ok so these are from instagram :) I haven't read all the books but I know these quotes by heart.

- "Le temps d'apprendre à vivre il est déjà trop tard" which means "by the time we learn to live, it's already too late".

- "I don't know, poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions".

- "Eppure c'è una gioia, una gioia benedetta, una consolazione, proprio nel dolore" which means "and yet there's a joy, a blessed joy, a consolation, right in the pain".

- "No era una serpiente. Era yo, tal y como soy ahora. Las serpientes no hablan" which means "I wasn't a snake. I was me, just as I am now. Snakes don't talk". This is from a spanish fic called "Dancing with the devil", where Louis is the devil and falls in love with Harry...*sighs* I adored it so much I bought a physical copy of it.

- "The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you'll be free"...so true bestie.

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator what does this mean? | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? Rom-coms? But also Horror or Crime and mistery

fav movie? oof, tough one, I'd say...Alice in Wonderland

comfort movie? Rapunzel but Luca just made it to the list too

movie you watch every year? It's gotta be an Adam Sandler one

fav tv show? Friends, is it a tv show? Man I don't know shit...

comfort tv show? Friends

most rewatched tv show? Friends

ultimate otp? Rapunzel and Eugene

5 fav characters? my head is burning from thinking I'm sorry, I basically do things and forget all about them in life.

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

I tag whoever wants to do this :)

[thewolfisapartofmysoul]

Hey lovelies,

I got an Dewey Finn x artsy reader for y'all.

The reader crafts this special thing for our Rockstar... fluff ahead.

Hope you enjoy. 💜

Masterpiece

It was a warm summer-day, Nirvana blasted in the background of your appartment when you painted. You wiped your sweaty hairline with a sigh. Glad you decided to put it up in a bun. That way your neck would be cooler, and it also helped you to keep your locks paint-free.

....

You watched your smeared hands and paint stains that covered your overalls. Wel... at last it wasn't in your hair.

You had been painting for about 4 hours now, and you finally managed to step back and be happy with your work. Not often was you pleased with what you created, but since this was gonna be a gift for Dewey... it had to be the best of the best. It had to be absolutely perfect. Your sweet baby deserved nothing less.

You had this idea for quite some time now. But today you finally managed to actually do it.

The idea hit you after the gig-ritual the two of you created.

Dewey came home after a gig a couple of weeks ago and tiredly slumped on the couch with you. Lovingly admiring your sleeping form on the couch.

You always tried to wait up for him, to talk to him about his gig and cuddle. But more often then not, sleep got the better of you. You gave up the battle and fell asleep on te couch.

Multiple times you were woken up by Dewey carrying you to bed while you mumbled an apology for falling asleep while waiting up. Again.

He'd put you in bed, pressed a kiss on your hair and told you it was fine. He crawled in the bed, snuggling closer to you and you would drift off to sleep again. Dewey mumbled how much he had missed you, just before you closed your eyes. You would fall asleep in Deweys warm, comforting embrace.

This was not the ritual you intended most of the time, but it was a nice one nevertheless.

The thought hit you one night, the moment you touched the bed, after Dewey carried you upstairs again. He sighed and mumbled in your hair: "Thanx for waiting up sweetheart... I've missed you so much today."

You decided that he'd miss you less if he carried a piece of you around him, during his gigs, when he rocked the roof of.

Your last thought before drifting off that night had been: Im gonna fix him a special guitar...

That week you ordered a brand new electric guitar for Dewey online, and decided to put your own fingerprints on them... (quite literally). You personally had hand-painted the instrument. A little reminder that he always had a piece of you with him, even when you were not physically around.

You always got a little lost timewise when you touched paintbrushes, and you were startled by the sound of the front door opening. Dewey called when he closed the door: "Hey baby... Im home!"

Shit! Is it already that late?!

You panicked and your eyes darted around the mess in the room. A small explosion would have been a good summary of the scenery in front of you. Paintbrushes and paint scrambled across the floor, old rags to wipe the brushes lay everywhere and you were seated in the middle of the living room, on the ground. The guitar lay behind you, it still had to dry because of the wet paint on it.

There was no way you could keep this a suprise for Dewey. You couldnt even hide the guitar, cause it was still wet...

Damn it!

You realised too late that Nirvana rocking through the speakers would lead him into the living room even faster.

"Hey... babe?" You heared Dewey ask, his footsteps coming closer and you decided: fuck it. No turning back now.

You quickly turned around to face the door, sitting there cross legged and a bit anxcious for a second untill Dewey's happy face appeared in the doorway.

Pleasedontbemad, pleasethinkitscool, Please for the love of the rock gods... just... like it...

His bright brown eyes found yours and he threw a beaming smile your way. "There you are, my little picasso..." Dewey took a step in your direction, pressed a kiss on your hair and mumbled to you "... I still don't know how you managed to do so beautifull, but you got some purple paint in your hair. Again." He chuckled and darted his eyes around the room as he took in the chaos. "If i didn't knew you any better I'd say that you were going for the: mad painter vibe dear... Chaotically perfect. As alway-"

His scentence died abruptly in his throath when he lied eyes on the instrument behind you. His face was shocked, his mouth hang agape slightly and he squeeled. He excitedly bounced over to where you were sitting and a high pitched noise escaped his throath.

"What the fuckeroni is this beauty of a guitar doing here???!!" Dewey managed to croak out in a hoarse squeel. Still bouncing up and down and he ruffled his brown curls in amazement. A smile so bright that it could break his face in half, appeared on his features and he fixated his gaze on you.

Doubt started to creep up your spine as he unmovingly stared into your eyes for a minute. His eyes darted from the guitar, to you and back.

You couldnt take the insecurity any longer and bashfully asked: "Erhm... Dew... are you okay? I... im sorry if i... i dont mean to... erhm... if you dont like it... please tell me..."

You were shut up by Deweys strong arms pulling you up at your waist. Before you could protest or even yelp at the sudden movement his lips crashed on yours. His hands rested on your waist. Between kisses dewey breathed against your lips: "sweetheart... i LOVE it!!!"

He kissed you again, and again and again. Untill you couldnt properly trace his lips anymore, Dewey was a happy, bouncy, excited mess and it was hard to kiss a bouncingball.

You smiled fondly and Dewey rambled on how excited he was, still bouncing around the room. "Baby... you made this??? Its so sick! Its gonna shred faces even before i touched a singe string. Its so beautifull. Its..."

He stopped bouncing and crouched down beside the guitar, suddenly very quiet.

On the side was scribbled: "For my bouncy oddball of a Dewdrop. Rock on...." after the scribble of text he noticed a finferprint. Your fingerprint.

He turned his head towards you and you scratched your elbow, afraid you had overdone it. Your eyes darted to the floor as insecurity crept its way in your chest.

Dewey stood up, very slowly and walked towards you. You didn't dare too look at him untill his deep voice said your name. His voice sweet and caring, made all your doubt wash away.

Your eyes found his and you notices his beautifull brown eyes were gleaming with emotion. His gaze pure adoration and love, acceptence and amazement, when he took your hands.

He smiled through his whirlwind of emotion and reached out to brush his calloused fingers against your cheek, kissed you sweetly on the lips and pulled you in a tight hug.

Holding on like you were his only anchor in the world.

You revelled into the hug and his presence and reached out to comb your hand through his brown messy curls.

You heared him take a deep breath and felt his chest rise and fall against yours. You mumbled against the crook of his neck quietly: "I did it so you dont have to miss me as much on your gigs, Dew... This way you'll always have me with you. Even when im not around."

Dewey slowly pulled back from your embrace and gazed into your eyes. Your hands still tangled at the back of his neck, teasing the hairs there.

His nose rested against yours and he mumbled "...Thank you, beautifull... its... beautifull... almost as beautifull as you..."

He kissed your cheek, his scruff tickled under your cheekbone and he brushed his thumb over the kissed area.

"Its beautifully chaotic and serene at the same time... just like you, dear."

Dewey kissed your lips again softly and when he pulled back he chuckled: "Hey love...?"

You smirked: "Yeah Dew?"

He replied with a soft voice: "...You painted yourself a bit too. Again."

You scoffed at his comment. Of course you did. Again.

Dewey mischievously guided you closer by the straps of your overalls. His thumb brushed your cheekbone again, where he just kissed you. Dewey put his hands on your lower back and continued with a whisper: "No need to paint yourself, love... you are already a masterpiece..."

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