#also sorry i removed the line that explains how the second one is related. it's something about brazilian classical music

[gayangelcrimes]

Ok so. Before I start. This will be all in portuguese because I'm brazilian and it REALLY shows in my taste in music. You can ask for translations if you want, I will gladly translate them for you <3 with that said,

1. Tempo Perdido by Legião Urbana - this is my most favoritest song ever of all time forever (this is also my favorite band ever). the inevitability of the passage of time. the being tired but not ready to stop yet. the "we have our own time". the "we are so young... so young... so young....." that ends the song. I know every word to this song. absolute favorite forever and ever.

2. O Segundo Sol by Cássia Eller - another all time favorite forever and ever <3 I made a neocities site that I intend to fill with oc stuff (and perhaps also my art in general) and I put a music player in it and all the songs are different versions of this song (linking to the page where I explain the song because I also translated it there)

3. Sem Nome, Mas Com Endereço by Liniker e Os Caramelows - ouhhh the vibes. I love her voice sooo much and she has so many songs with this soft lovey vibe,, Psiu and Amarela Paixão were candidates for third place as well but this one is like. thee first song that made me fall in love with her music. "take me by the hand, I give you my heart, I let you in.. you have flowers in your head and petals in your heart, you have roots in your eyes, excitement, warms my heart..."

4. Aprendendo a Mentir by Selvagens à Procura de Lei - I really really like this band and fun fact they are from the same city as me <3 this one is probably my favorite from their first album which is my favorite of their albums

5. Cuidado by Tuyo - ouhhhhh the vibes. I am a tree and I love you so much I will keep you safe in me forever. <3

Those are like. Eternal favorites. Below are minor favorites. Favorites that may be dethroned.

6. Admirável Chip Novo by Pitty - rock icon!!!! I really really love a lot of her songs but this one is like. An icon. Song that shows up in high school test questions about capitalist alienation. And it fucks hard. And it's so very lobotomy cas as well.

7. Quase Sem Querer by Legião Urbana - one of the happier songs by this band <3 "I don't worry anymore if I don't know why sometimes almost no one else can see what I see, and I know that you know almost accidentally that I see the same as you"

8. Deixa Ser by O Teatro Mágico - this band is sooo fun I love the circus thing they have going on (not just in this video, it's kinda their whole thing) and this song is an eternal favorite of mine <3 it's like a better Let It Be (the title translates to that, and is in fact a reference to the beatles song). "let it be, let it be born, let the wheel turn (be it for love!) in happiness, in sadness, I'll go with you be your pair (be it as it may be!)"

8. Epitáfio by Titãs - this song is also on 8th place because it has similar vibes meaning-wise (enjoy life while you can) and I wanted to include at least one song by this band because I love them. and this song is really really nice. "fate will protect me while I'm distracted"

9. O Gosto do Açúcar by Nimbo - this is. yet another song about enjoying life while you can. but in a more "not enjoying life is the same as death" way, less "you'll regret it later". "They say a tasteless life is a long life, and life is shortened by sweetness. Then I won't prolong myself, because to die is to forget the taste of sugar". Also I love the projections in this one live version

10. Dedicating this to all the transient favorites, especially of this past month <3

Depois das Dez by Plutão Já Foi Planeta - this is a kinda really small band I absolutely love and they recently (read: 2020-2021) changed vocalists and this one might be my favorite of theirs since the new singer

Açaí by Carne Doce - this band is soooo fucking and the vibes on this song. yeag. song for the "good for nothing" girlies who deserve a little treat after any minor inconvenience <3

Hater by Carne Doce - this song is sooooooo. "you are my favorite coward, my pet hater, who loves me in reverse, hates me with adoration"

Back to Bad by Duda Beat - she's not even my usual type but ohhh her songs are just sooooo <3 the way she lets her accent bleed into the bits in english is so charming to me

Meu Pisêro by Duda Beat - I looove the mixing of pop with a more forró style after the first chorus. super vibeful. also the ending. "to me it's all forgiven, no one has to love me like this... I died.. I was in shambles.. but you're not to blame for not loving me like this" wough....

Intervenção by Supercombo - uplifting "life is a mess right now but points for not giving up" type song <3 I love the chorus verse that goes "there's always a direction for the rails that left the train" it's so subtly wrong and silly. also the very last bit. "therapy, air conditioning, a hot shower, owning flippers, doesn't matter as long as it makes you happy, what really matters is never giving up" sooo true

Eu Vim Pela Comida by Tuyo - new years party song for people who hate new years parties <3 "I came for the food, for the countdown, while I wait for you to say some bullshit, sighing for someone to fill my glass of sparkling wine, foaming"

De Música by Tuyo - short and nice and I wish it was longer because it's soooo vibeful <3

11. Bonus: This Must Be The Place by Talking Heads - this is a bonus because it's in english. but ouhhhhh love <3

(12. joke bonus: Brazilian National Anthem - not in a weird nationalist way it just objectively slaps)

(12.1. related joke bonus: this guitar version of the start of O Guarani by Carlos Gomes from the end of a short film about social inequality)

(13. extra joke bonus: Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas - it unironically fucks)

uhmmm.... mutuals should tell me what their top 10 favourite songs are... and then.... i could listen to them....

[cultistic-ann-aka-sannaliel]

Hello, saw your post on sheeps and was wondering a few things. Do you do commissions? Do you have any huge tips or anything for drawing sheep? I've been trying to do it but can never get it right. I saw you were taking requests for Cotl characters but one of my friends has a sheep oc that isn't cotl and i was wondering if you'd do that or just cotl.

well hello!

sorry for the late reply and get ready, there will be a lot of chatter here… REALLY A LOT

1) Not yet, I don't have an adequate price list for this

2) Okay, here's what I learned: sheep always have horns that curl behind their ears (the exception is "Jacob sheep," which have four horns, one that curls behind their ears and one that goes up);

sheep have a noticeably divided upper lip, and long, drooping tails;

Sheep come in a variety of colors, depending on their breed. The most prominent colors I've seen are black, white, and several shades of brown. Their eyes are usually amber or brown (dark brown eyes can be mistaken for black), but they can sometimes be gray-green or gray-blue.

I draw the legs for the sheep in two ways, but both are made up of 4 separate parts

in the first the fourth part is the hoof; the first three parts are evenly divided in half for convenience:

I use this method to draw more stylized (or cartoonish) characters that are more removed from reality in terms of anatomy and are builded on the author's style.

For example, here is a quick sketch with a stylized lamb design that relies on the author's style and convenience. Anthea belongs to @the-artist-grimm (Sorry for the ping, it is important for me to indicate the author)

the second type is more anatomical in relation to reality, but still relies on human anatomy and style:

Each part is a kind of hinge and is responsible for movement. The previous one has one too, but since the second one looks a bit more complicated, I'll try to explain it

this sketch I have marked with circles the places that are responsible for movement

here it's more clear, to be honest it's like an app with a mannequin, where you can make virtual pose (although I haven't done that for a long time)

I mainly use human anatomy with a bit of sheep anatomy because I don't feel comfortable with completely animal anatomy (in percentage terms, human are 60%, animal are 40%. This doesn't only apply to sheep, I've extended this to several other four-legged animals)

I'm still figuring out about the sheep's muzzle myself. I mostly use a circle or rectangle to represent the head. For more cartoonish or feminine characters, a circle is perfect, and if the opposite is true, a rectangle

but again, it depends on comfort and style

for the nose bridge I use a diamond shape, its adds some debt

My style of drawing sheep wool is "airy", you could say I draw in semicircles. I also sometimes add some curls lines to give it more effect

That's all for now, since the question didn't specify what kind of difficulties you're having in drawing sheep, I told you a little bit of everything! well almost..

if you still don't understand something, you can contact me, just please tell me what exactly the difficulty is and I will tell you in more detail about it and how you could deal with it

You can write to the mailbox or to me personally

3) well… yes I can, but in this case it's better to send this request to my other blog: @sannaliel

Thank you for your question, I really hope I could help you!

[blueskittlesart]

Never thought about it before but goddamn you're right, Betty would be a MUCH better song story-wise if it was sung by a girl like "Then I saw you dance with him" hanging out with your best friend that you've been pining for for ages and she's dancing with a guy and you can't stand it, can't help how the assumption she doesn't like girls makes you so bitter and angry, but you can see the way she's looking at the guy she's dancing with so you ditch her and go have a fling with another girl, ignoring every time she tries to talk to you, refusing to tell her what she did wrong the entire summer, but the truth is she's always on your mind and you're doing both Betty and this other girl that you refuse to even name wrong in using her to replace Betty, and it also removes the shitty cheating aspect of the song to make it about a repressed, closeted lesbian (Betty) and a less repressed but very frustrated lesbian (the POV character), still sucks for the unnamed girl though. But anyway lesbianism would improve the story part of it so much (I don't mean this in a way of shitting on the original song because it's one of my favourites, it's just lesbians would make it even better)

sorry im going to act insane for a second i PROMISE i am not one of those lesbian taylor truthers i am just a lesbian who loves to relate to music ok please remember this as you read this post i promise i am normal

BETTY IS ABOUT LESBIANISM TO ME. "you heard the rumors from inez, you can't believe a word she says most times but this time it was true" inez knows the speaker likes girls and can't keep her mouth shut about it. the speaker desperately tries to discredit inez's rumors to everyone EXCEPT betty, who she WANTS to know on some level. "I saw you dance with him" is the inherent pain of being a girl in love with your best friend and watching her dance with a guy and knowing you will never be enough for her. she will always want something you can't give her even though all you've ever wanted is her. the speaker tries to replace betty with another girl and ignores her and betty is suddenly jealous in a way she doesn't understand. while the speaker spends the summer trying to replace betty with another girl and pretend like she doesn't care, betty spends the summer coming to terms with the fact that their friendship meant something more and that she likes girls too. "the worst thing that i ever did is what i did to you" has 2 meanings in my mind, one is the intended meaning of the speaker leaving betty without ever telling her why, but if the speaker is a girl it goes deeper--befriending her & loving her in the first place was the worst thing the speaker ever did, because it leaves her with only two choices: leave betty without explaining and hurt her, or tell betty how she feels and, if betty feels the same way, risk being ostracized by their peers for being gay. (there are lines that allude to betty being under some pressure to not date the speaker--"in front of all your stupid friends," specifically, but "switching her homeroom" could be switching AWAY from the speaker so that she won't be tempted, depending on how you want to interpret it.) one more line that i think is very lesbian is the whole "right now is the last time i can dream about what happens when you see my face again." like. maybe this isn't EXCLUSIVELY a lesbian experience but i think most of us had a tumultuous almost-relationship friendship that never got closure and so we daydream about seeing her again and telling her everything that went unsaid. right. im not the only one who does that right

[nocturnalazure]

Evolution of the storyline

This is following @danjaley's post about all the turns her story has taken throughout the years and her enquiry about my own process in the comments. More under the cut because long.

I haven't got any blurbs of potential dialogues to share simply because I don't write anything beforehand. My writing is mostly improvised.

I have never planned anything until the Sam/Ash-to-the-future storyline (that takes us back to somewhere around 2017, phew). I have a vague idea of where I want to go and sometimes adjust during shooting or writing. Since I don't plan, the canon story becomes the only story and all the other options I may think of are quickly forgotten. That's still the way I roll most of the time BUT...

When I sent Ash and Sam 250 years into the future, it became clear that I didn't want it to be any future. I wanted to see the future generations of all my Sims. But that of course requires a huge amount of planning. I've always enjoyed pairing up characters so my favorite part of planning was deciding which couples would be best together, who would have kids, etc. At the second generation, it became a bit random simply because I was working with names in a timeline and not characters I had the time to get attached to. But I scrupulously recorded all the generations. See below: I used that Excel timeline it to keep track of how many generations I needed to get to Sam & Ash's timeline (the dark red line at the end) and how old everyone would be (so that I don't end up pairing up a YA with a toddler, ya see?). The various life stages are the pastel cells. I won't tell you what the other color codes are.

Then I went in game and impregnated the hell out of my Sims. I just made quick genetic templates so to speak. You want a sneak peek at some of these hastily created Sims? Go here.

You may be horrified to know that at some point (a long time ago), I had considered pairing up Hugo with Annabelle. Or Jessie with Cordelia. I know. I'm sorry. Youthful mistake. We're definitely not going there.

Julian and Risa were also supposed to have a second child called Dorian. I think I just wanted my Sims to pop babies all the time.

What about Nate, Ivy and Seth? I can't remember exactly when I decided to kill them off (the most difficult decision I've ever made), but it definitely wasn't a key element from the start. Like so many plot events, it just... suddenly made sense and I knew I had to go down that path.

So like I said, I need a specific future. But having many Sims popping babies all over the place didn't seem manageable (or realistic). So I kind of implemented a sort of one-child policy (two at most) and removed some potential kids from the generation lines. That's when the Golzine line was set. I know exactly who will be heir 250 years in the future, and who their parents are.

What am I going to do with all those other Sims over multiple generations that I have basically fated to each other? I have no clue yet. I thought I'd figure it out as I went along... you know, as I usually do!

Big haha. Joke's on me.

Because obviously, here we are, 7 years and a big mess later. That future storyline has me backed into a corner. Characters have evolved and some couples just don't make sense anymore. Now I remember why I hate planning when it relates to my creativity. It's so limiting! Obviously, I can't explain in details without spoiling but I'm on really shaky ground. That's why it's taking me so long to get back to Sam & Ash. All I can safely say, because you all know that by now, is that Laurie and Erik were not supposed to fall for each other! I had initially planned Erik to marry Cordelia, then rather quickly changed my mind because it had suddenly dawned on me that he would be so good with Gloria. That was already a problem, but at least it was easily fixable. My two doofuses pining after each other was not part of the plan AT ALL.

How did that happen? Well, mostly because I completely misunderstood Laurie's personality. I've realized it quite early on while writing him, but I may have underestimated the extent of his influence over the plot. The Golzine storyline is the one I had to work on in the most detailed way because they have quite a big impact on pretty much everything. I know who Laurie's heir will be, and the heir after that, and the heir after that. In order to get there, things have to happen a certain way. Some characters have to be born, ya know? And things would happen because of previous events. Laurie is a wrench into all of my future plans.

He was supposed to be some sort of casanova and to have an enemies-to-lovers relationship with Anh Wong. He was self-assured, flirty and a bit entitled. In other words, he was Noah's successor and his relationship with Anh was always meant to be a chaotic one (she's the one who would send him to jail), even when Laurie was with other women. Note I said "women". I hadn't considered that he could be bisexual. His relationship with Erik was strictly that of a close friendship. I was quite hyped about Laurie and Anh getting together and the (friendly) dynamics between him and Erik as his right-hand man. Although I never do that, I had even written down some lines of dialogues. I won't share those though, because it is all cringy banter and not much substance. But I kept the gist of my initial plan: Shu trying to protect her sister from getting her heart broken, Laurie and Anh's little dance and her mistrust of him, Erik the guard dog... Then I threw in the mob council last minute (initially, its only role was to legitimate Laurie as the Golzine heir), but characters like Jie, Romeo and Omar turned out to be a lot less minor than I'd thought and the entire Laurie arc has spun out in a ludicrous way. When I started it in 2020, I never thought I'd still be working on it in 2024.

...I don't regret anything. *sniff*

After all, I always meant for Anh to let her hair down at some point.

I was so sure that I knew Laurie, that I had his character and motives well under control. I don't even know how he did it but he took over his own story. Even now, he's pulling his own strings, I guarantee you. I believe that this is why the latest update (that I had been looking forward to writing for literal years) took so long: slowly but surely, Laurie is redirecting me. Nothing in that update happened exactly the way I had planned.

I'm convinced that the guy is the key to everything but how exactly? I guess he'll let me know last minute.

This story is a moving target, for real. I'll tell you what. Ask me again in 2034. By then, the plot will maybe have moved forward a little and I will be able to tell you how what I was planning a decade earlier actually didn't work out and we'll have a good laugh about it.

(Actually, once we're a bit further along on the current storyline, maybe I will be able to share more on what was supposed to happen - patience!)

[alltheficsiwant]

When Foxy meets Wolfie

When Foxy meets Wolfie | One Shot

Summary: You started your Wednesday coding and hoping to end it the same way. So when, your bestfriend Wanda dragged you to a club named Winter a few blocks away from your Brooklyn apartment. You are expecting to nurse one beer and be Wanda's designated sober friend. You DID not expect to meet the most handsome man you could ever see.

Ratings: 18+

Warnings: Brief mentions of violence but not much. Just very brief. This is just pure meet-cute? I guess?

Words: 5.9K

Pairings: Mob Boss! Bucky Barnes x Tech!Reader

Author's note: This is related to the Gummy Bears universe. Calling this the Wolfie and Foxy Universe from now on. :) Hope you like it guys!

Also, sorry if its a long one shot. I can't help it! I'm a detail whore. I have to explain some things. Just a warning. I apologize for any errors in spelling and grammar. I do not have a beta reader and I promise to edit this soon. - J💕

MAIN MASTERLIST

“Now this is what I am talking about,” You mumbled to yourself as you leaned back and watched as your code started to take form. Becoming more concrete and to think the idea only came out of you moments ago.

You can just say that you are in the zone and for you this is the perfect day to spend your day-off. Though basically, working at Wakanda Industries, hours are flexible and you are not exactly required to work over time or report to the office everyday. If they need you, you just show up but most days you can do your work at home.

Which is what you have been doing since the beginning when you started to work for them. You were just a mere IT worker back at Utah when you got the offer straight from the sister of the owner who is now your boss, Shuri. She found out about your code that completely changed the game of hacking.

“So you are Foxy3029,” 

Okay, that is not your best moment when you chose that name but it was that time the obsession with Naruto is too high and you have been jacked by gummy bears and red bulls for days creating the system. A circumventing system that could literally be a backdoor to any unhackable network. Of course, you put it out there and if a hacker didn’t decode it correctly. It destroys the hackers capability to hack at all.

It was notorious for silencing well-known black hat hackers that tried to infiltrate governments. In creating that code in your second year of college. You figured out that no-one would know who you are that is why you resorted to that nickname with the random numbers.

You were wrong. Of course, Shuri being one of the geniuses in her generation (You shocked her by admitting that you are an old lady now. When in fact, you are just two years older than Shuri.), apparently didn’t manage to figure out your code but instead found your signature all over it.

She managed to trace it back to your old dingy apartment in Utah. Shuri even told you that she begged T’challa to fly her to Utah and find you. As soon as she saw your tiny little self inside the dilapidated apartment building with sweatpants on and a dirty hoodie with a setup laughable enough to elicit a question, how the hell did you make the code while using that?

Shuri offered you a job in New York as his Deputy Program Head Manager and relocated you near them. All expenses paid with a salary four times more than your current one.

Who in their right mind would say no to that? You sure as hell didn’t.

Now for the past four years, you have been working alongside Shuri developing numerous state of the art technology that is being sold all around the world. Of course, no one knows about your involvement,  you wanted it that way. You wanted to remain anonymous and for the hell of it, you and Shuri decided to keep your hacker name as Foxy and remove the numbers.

Every Wakanda Industries technology has Foxy on it. You have worked with her in developing electric cars that are now patented and being used by Elon Musk to create his own line of cars. Of course the engine and the mechanics came from Wakanda Industries.

Then the solar paneled plants that you and Shuri made sure planted to cities who have no access to other means of electricity except the Sun. 

Then a few years ago, you and Shuri took an old biotech project from the Stark Industries which they sold for a high price to Wakanda Industries. You and Shuri created vibranium prosthetics that helped veterans or any disabled person. Of course, it was a bit of a list now since it wasn’t given freely.

There are still compatibility issues and there are a series of tests that you and Shuri are trying to work on in order to lessen the numbers of the issues and make it more possible for everyone. It isn’t sold exactly but the project earns a lot of money from investors who wanted to use it as a tax evasion. You tried to help as much as many people through other's hard earned money.

Right now, you have one particular person that asked for a much more modified movement for their prosthetics. A VIP, Shuri said and she hoped that you would be able to figure it out.

You did and you are as you write the very code that you think would help with the compatible issue with this VIP’s prosthetics. Shuri named him White Wolf, you don't know why but you decided to call him Wolfie. You also noticed that Wolfie is apparently one of the first ones who had test drive it when it was still under Stark and now Wolfie is in maintenance with Wakanda.

You never met the client because Shuri handles the brunt work. You are all behind the scenes.

So yeah, here you are on your day-off and still working. Well, this is your life and you are a grown ass adult. You can do the fuck—-

“Oh my little foxyyy!” A sing-song voice interrupted your thoughts. Your fingers halting its movement over your keyboard. You knew that voice.

“Wanda?” you called you. You heard some clattering and a curse that nearly rolled your eyes.

“Gosh, Y/N, when the hell did you last clean this place?” Wanda emerged from the living room towards your work space. Her eyes looked around the mildly cluttered room. “At least your work space is semi-clean,”

You rolled your eyes at her again. “My living room isn’t cluttered,” You mused. “It’s chaotically organized,” 

“Chaotically orga— you know what? Nevermind. Up you get,” She suddenly said as she looked at you with a raised brow and a hand on her hip. Eerily, it conjured the image of your mother but you quickly shook your head at that. She is too far away from you for her soul to even visit you. She is quite content with the monthly money you gave her.

“What?” you only supplied as you looked at her confused.

Wanda looked at you confused as to why not you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Because clearly, you don’t know what she is implying.

“Did you seriously— check your phone,” She quickly cut her question off to point at you. You looked around trying to find it and came up empty handed. You scratched the back of your head.

“Where the hell did I put it?” You thought out loud.

“Now that is why,” Wanda sighed as you turned around to see her pulling out her phone from her pocket. She fiddled with it and put it over her ear. Silence enveloped the two of you until a distant ringtone was heard. The both of you, momentarily united, searched for it. You followed the sound as you walked out of your working space and into the chaotically organized living room.

Then through another hallway towards your room. You opened it and then the sound is now louder. The familiar tune of the current One Piece theme song playing loudly. You dove through the unmade covers of your bed and finally found your phone. You created a triumphant sound before lifting it up. Wanda stood at the door with narrowed eyes as you looked down at your phone.

“You texted me,” you trailed off and raised a brow. “Yesterday?”

“How long have you been in that workspace?” Wanda asked and you looked up at her sheepishly.

"Yesterday?" You repeated and Wanda rolled her eyes at you.

"Okay, that's it." She marched over to you and took your phone. You tried to protest as she threw it down on the mattress and proceeded to drag you towards the bathroom. "Take a shower. We are going out,"

"B-but"

"No buts!" Wanda said as she sharply turned around to look at you. You shrunk to yourself and leaned against the bathroom wall. You have seen her with her eyes wide and nostrils flared. Usually it was for her brother but now you get why Pietro always does what Wanda wants.

He was right. Her eyes do glow red when she's angry.

"Y/N, I love you but for the love of God. Just do what I say,"

"Okay," You mumbled and Wanda sighed when she probably saw the puppy eyes you are sporting.

"I'll pick out your outfit and lay it out on the bed. We are going out tonight," She said with such finality that it just made you nod.

Welp. You guess that coding is for another day.

You flinched as you watched the people in the dance. Seriously, do they really have to grind to each other like that? You shivered at the thought.

You decided to look away and looked around. The club you were in is called Winter. One of the famous clubs located in Brooklyn. You have known about it and you knew it was famous. It was nice despite it having too many people. The interior was sick and drinks are exquisite. Despite being a tad expensive, your Wakanda paycheck can compensate.

Though you were still quite surprised by the line it has on a wednesday night. You also wonder how Wanda managed to snag you both a reservation for a booth in such a short notice. You don't question it once Wanda mentioned it was through her "connections". You guess being one of the best art curators in New York has its perks.

Speaking of Wanda, your eyes searched for the red head and instantly saw her grinding on a black skinned man in a suit. You raised a brow at that before you chuckled as you saw the bedroom eyes she was giving the man.

You plan to let Wanda have a good time while you keep to your beer and the fries you ordered. Then take her back to Manhattan and you go back to your Brooklyn apartment to continue the coding. 

Judging by the way she moved with the man, she is going home to someone's apartment. It was a good thing she chose Winter instead of Scorpion which is in Manhattan. Winter is only three blocks away from your apartment.

"Hey there," You jumped as a voice interrupted your thoughts. You looked up and blinked a couple times at the man that is now standing in front of the booth you were occupying. You blinked some more to see his features and you nearly recoiled at the sly smirk he is giving you.

"Uh, yes?" You didn't bother to hide your lack of interest as you took another sip of your beer as you went back to eat the rest of the fries.

"Alone?" The man asked, clearly ignoring your lack of interest.

"Nope, I have friends," You answered back to him and you didn't even bother to look at him as you took a piece of the fries to eat. Though it missed the target, as you were suddenly jostled until you felt the man sit beside you. You dropped the fries in shock as you immediately moved away from him until your back hit the end of the booth which is a wall.

"Great, you don't mind giving you some company?" He cockily said with a smirk as he turned his body to you. Now that he's closer, you were suddenly hit by a heady cologne and it nearly made you gag. You resorted to covering your nose with the sleeve of your jacket.

"I do mind and I'm not interested," You told him as you try to stick yourself against the wall. Your eyes alert to his every move.

The man only chuckled as he took a piece of the fries and ate it. 

"Playing hard to get?"

"No playing. I'm not really interested," You gritted out. "Go to someone who gives a fuck,"

The man clearly a dumb fuck, continue his advances. His arm laid on the table as he slid closer to you. His thighs hit your knees. You jumped at that and tried to pull down the leather skirt Wanda insisted for you to wear.

Where the hell is Wanda?

"You're feisty. I like it," He mused as his other hand finally touched your knee. You jerked it off but he laid it back over your clothed thighs. That made you freeze as you looked at him in fear. "You are too tense, baby. Let me help you unwind, yeah?"

"No!" You shout as you feel his hand trying to lift your skirt. You were so focused on what was happening that you didn't notice the music had lowered and a man standing behind him. You fight him off but the man is insistent and when he is about to lean forward to kiss you.

That's when you saw it.

A gleaming black and gold hand wrapped itself from the back of the man's neck. The next thing you know a crash had echoed through the club. It was dead silent now.

The man groaned in pain at the unexpected manhandling. 

If every eye is on the bastard, yours was to the man who saved you and a very familiar vibranium arm.

The image of the arm blueprints came to mind. The very same one you were working earlier that night though as you trailed your eyes from the arm to the owner. You can't help but gasp as pools of electric blue stare at you.

It was hard for a moment but it softened a bit as your eyes connected with his.

"Are you okay doll?" You blinked at his question. Still unable to move or even speak. You are just nearly assaulted by the vilest bastard and now you are facing a man that would probably be Wolfie that Shuri is talking about. Talk about unexpected encounters.

"Y/N!" Wanda suddenly came to view. Her eyes wide, probably sobered up quickly seeing your state. She crawled towards you in the booth and reached to look over you. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

You let Wanda touch you and check you over. You would grumble at her but you just had a whiplash moment. One moment you think that you might be raped at the middle of a fucking club and the next you are facing a man whose eyes nearly drowns you.

“Y/N!” You finally blinked and looked at Wanda. Your mind clears a bit as you finally take in the situation. You looked at her as she repeated her question.

“N-no, I’m okay” You managed to stutter out. “B-but he touched me,”

“Where?” The both of you looked at the sharp and hardened voice. The man with the vibranium arm still stood there, the softness in his expression was still there as you looked back at him but anger was vibrating off his body. 

“M-my thighs and k-knee,” You continue to say. The man’s eyes darkened as he looked down at your body. As if trying to see any bruises or traces but he must have found something because he turned abruptly. Wanda moved to pull you out of the booth. You shakily stood up and leaned your body against you.

You can clearly see now the man is on a hold of the dark skinned man that Wanda was dancing with before. He had a chokehold over the man who struggled against it. Wolfie, you decided to call him inside your head, walk— no— stalked towards him. Like a predator going after his prey.

The club is awfully quiet now as the patrons watch but you didn’t have time to think about why he had so much hold over the club when you heard a shout of pain.

Your eyes turned to see Wolfie ramming his fist against the man’s right knee making him buckle.

“You don’t fucking touch a woman if she says no,” You heard him grunt out after the punch then he did another punch on the other one. This time an audible pop can be heard and the people gasp. You however were stunned in silence.

“You don’t fucking force yourself on someone,” He grunted out again. Then he breathed deeply as if composing himself while he fixed the lapels of his suit jacket.

“Lastly, you don’t break a fucking rule in my club,” With that he deliver a solid kick to the man’s head rendering him unconscious. The dark skinned man let him go, undisturbed by the act of violence. Once the bastard is slumped over the ground, Wolfie casually motions for someone. Two men both long haired, one blonde and one raven haired picked the bastard. 

Wolfie then looked over at you, not caring about the stares he was getting from people as he walked back. His eyes became softer every second he neared you. 

“The show is over— the next drink everyone orders is in the house for the inconvenience!” Suddenly the dark skinned man spoke and then the crowd cheered as the music flooded the club.

Wolfie finally reached you and Wanda. His electro blue eyes are just there watching your face.

“T-thank you,” you managed to stutter out. Though, you winced a bit at the loud sound of the music. Wolfie must have noticed it because he was already motioning for his men before he turned to you. 

“Why don’t we take the both of you to the VIP room? As a compensation for the inconvenience,” You turned to Wanda not knowing what to do after this. Wanda looked back to you also unsure. The instinct to just leave and let the night be is strong but you are quite curious about Wolfie.

“Also, I don’t want your Wednesday night to be a waste. You guys just came in an hour ago, let me treat you guys some drinks, yes?” He insisted. 

Wanda looked at him and then at you. Wait an hour ago? Has he been—

“It's up to you babe,” Wanda asked you and you looked at her then back at Wolfie.

“Okay,”

The two of you were whisked away to the VIP room. You finally got yourself together as you and Wanda settled down the plushed seats. The VIP room looks far different from the club. Maybe it's more well lit and not filled with those LCD red and blue lights that continue to flicker.

The loud pounding sounds of the club is effectively cut off as soon as the door of the room is closed. Wolfie asked the dark-skinned man that you later on will know as Sam, to guide the both of you. He said he still had to personally take care of the bastard that assaulted you before disappearing towards the door the two long haired men took him. You briefly saw another tall blonde man joining him.

“If you need anything just holler at me out there,” Sam said as he waited by the door. You shakily nodded and sat down while Wanda offered the man a smile.

“Thank you Sam,” Wanda said in a tone that you would have teased her about if you are not still recovering from shock. Sam caught it and chuckled.

“You owe me a dance, beautiful,” Sam said and Wanda giggled.

“I should get your number then,” Wanda answered back and your brain finally caught up as you looked at her incredulously. Trust your best friend to still flirt with a guy even in these situations. You can’t help but chuckle. “You know so I can cash it in anytime,”

Sam chuckled as he sauntered— yes, he sauntered— towards her as Wanda pulled out her phone. You saw Sam quickly put a number in and gave it back to Wanda.

“I’ll be waiting then,” Sam said and then looked over at you. “We might also be seeing one another more often,” He mused and without any further explanation he left the room. 

Wanda then looked at you with raised brows. “What does he mean by that?” She asked as she sat beside you again. Her arm immediately wrapped around your shoulders as you leaned against her.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” you told her as you looked down at your hand unsure if you should tell Wanda that you might actually know but you are not entirely sure if you—

“You are rolling something inside your head, spill it out,” Wanda said.

“Okay– I might know him. Remember when you barged into my house on a Wednesday night and demanded to go—”

“I didn’t demand, I already told you about it yesterday—”

“--- I know, I know— anyway, I was working on a coding for one of our VIP clients and the guy’s arm, the one who saved me, it was the same arm in the blueprint,” You told her and Wanda stared at you as you finished explaining. "He's Wolfie," You decided to tell him the nickname you gave him.

"Wolfie---" Wanda started but ultimately shook her head. She knew how weird things are in your head and she decided not to ask about that. "Nevemind-- but are you saying he’s one of your company’s clients?”

“Probably? I don’t know!”

“Do you even know who he really was?”

You now looked at her confused. “You know Wolfie?” You asked. Wanda’s eyes widened. “Oh my God!” She exclaimed as she leaned back to stare at you in disbelief. You just looked at her confused.

“What is it?”

“Do you seriously don’t know who he was? I thought you knew him!” Wanda exclaimed. "Of course, if you knew him you wouldn't be calling him wolfie." She grumbled as an after thought.

You shook your head suddenly and very confused. “No! I didn’t know who he was. Do you think I keep up with the socialites of New York?!”

“You should because he is on the top of the food chain!” Wanda told you.

“On top of the food chain? You mean he’s like the mayor or something—”

“Babe, he is more than the mayor or the governor of New York city. He runs this whole city, he owns several clubs. Didn’t you honestly hear of him?”

Okay, to be fair, you might be tech savvy between the two but you don’t really keep up with any news outside of your work. You can tell Wanda who is the best leading tech scientist and inventor. You can even fucking recite the whole function of python and how you can code a robot to do your bidding. But you are not that adverse with the business world and anything like that. Hell, you only heard of the Kardashians like a few years ago (Shuri had a field day at that).

So, No, you don’t know who the hell that handsome, blue eyed stranger was. You just knew he is probably the VIP that you are doing the code for.

“If I did, it would be obvious Wanda. Just tell me who he is?!”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” A voice interrupted the two of you. You both jumped to see the very man you both are talking about. Your eyes widened to see him out of his coat and only in a long sleeved button up. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. The shirt barely kept it together as it fit his biceps perfectly. He stood tall too as has his right hand on his pocket while the vibranium arm you saw earlier tonight rested beside him. His hair was a bit long, swept back away from his face.

His eyes are staring down at you with a smirk. “You never heard of me before, doll?”

“I-I don’t really keep up with anything outside work,” You stuttered. You felt Wanda clutching on to you a bit tighter.

“S-sorry about her not to know who you are Mr. Barnes–”

James cut her off with a chuckle as he fully entered the room. Sam and a blonde man right behind him. The sound of the club was effectively cut off once the door was closed.

“No need for that, it's quite refreshing to find someone who doesn’t know me,” He moved swiftly, making you and Wanda instinctively sit down. James walked over until he was beside you.

“May I?” He asked as he motioned for the seat beside you. You nodded swiftly too caught up with staring at his face. Gosh, Y/N, is this your first time seeing a handsome man?

“You really don’t know me, doll?” James asked again, amusement swimming in his eyes as he looked at you now that he was comfortably seated. You turned towards him completely.

“Sadly, yes?” It came out more like a question and that earned a chuckle from the three men in the room. Wanda is oddly quiet. “B-but kinda?” You hurriedly added and that made James raise a brow at you.

“Kinda?”

“Yes, I— ugh,” Your eyes went to his vibranium arm and pointed at it. “That,” You supplied as if that would explain everything. James looked down on it before he lifted it up for the both of you to examine.

“This? You know the arm but not the man himself?”

You sheepishly rub a hand behind your neck. “I um, I work on the coding of that,” You told him and recognition flashed before his eyes.

“Foxy” As soon as it was said, you can’t help the involuntary groan that came out of you. You can now hear Wanda snickering behind you.

“Oh gosh, I hate when I hear that name,” You grumbled.

“Well, you asked Shuri to keep it that way,” Wanda supplied and you turned to her, missing the amusement and wonder that is now on James' face as he watched you interact with Wanda.

“She kind of forced me to keep the name. She’s my boss after all, can I really say no to her?” You told her.

“So you are the developer that Shuri has been telling me to meet,” James mumbled and that made you turn back to him. Your eyes wide. Shuri talked about you to him? “I knew you were special the moment I saw you walked in my club tonight,”

“You saw me?” You squeaked out and James chuckled. Slowly he lifted his vibranium arm, his eyes silently asking a question. You don’t know what he was actually asking you but you nodded. Thankful that he was this way compared to the bastard. Consent is actually sexy if you ask yourself.

He reached out to touch your cheek delicately. You were quite shocked at the warmth that the arm had emitted. It must have been one of the latest updates you put into the program of the arm together with Shuri’s tech.

“How couldn’t I? You don’t exactly look like you wanted to be here,” James chuckled out and that involuntarily coaxed a reaction out of you. You pouted as you remembered the coding you forced yourself to leave behind.

“Well, you’re not wrong about that,”

“Y/N!” Wanda scolded you and you turned your head to look at her but it was stopped by the vibranium hand. Making your cheeks squish a bit still you persisted. Not wanting to back down.

“You took me away from my computer. I was coding for Wolfie and I am in the zone,” You grumbled as you pouted not even noticing how James didn’t remove his hand and instead caressed your cheeks as you spoke. Though he tilted his head when he heard a nickname. Wolfie huh?

“I told you, you are too cooped up.”

“Well, if you left me alone, this wouldn’t happen,” Suddenly the air was sucked out of the room and now you realize your words. Your eyes widened to see Wanda looking guilty. James let you go as you moved to take Wanda in your arms.

“H-hey, I'm sorry. It's not what I meant,” You sighed as Wanda crumbled in your arms.

“I-I shouldn’t have left you alone. I-I”

“It's nobody’s fault but that bastard,” James offered as the two of you looked over at him. He offered an apologetic look. “My club is supposed to be the safest place. We do not tolerate those kinds of bastards.”

“Yeah, it's nobody’s fault,” You agreed with James as you looked at Wanda who sniffled. You reached up to wipe the few tears that came out. “Also, it's unexpected really. I never attract any guys with what I am wearing,” 

You spoke that so casually that made all four people in the room taken aback.

“Y/N–”

“You are selling yourself short, Doll.” James once again cut Wanda off who was about to jump into a scolding that you knew all too well. You finally turned back to James and looked at her confused.

“I’m not,” You told him indignantly. “I am not selling myself short. I know I’m decent looking but come on,” You lifted the jacket and shirt you were wearing. “With this shirt and jacket, It's not a surprise the bouncer in front asked for my ID just to be sure I’m not under 18. It would have been enough to keep men away,”

James looked over at you before he chuckled. “Doll, you really don’t know the effect you have huh?”

You still looked at him confused. Momentarily forgetting that you are possibly in front of one of the dangerous men in New York judging by the way Wanda called him that he was on top of the food chain.

“If the words that are coming out of your mouth are—” you clear your throat as you try to deepen your voice. “---- Doll, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve seen. I wouldn’t have noticed you if you weren’t—” then you revert back to your original voice. “--- I don’t want to hear it,” You abruptly stood up and took a deep breath. 

“Thank you for saving me earlier but I think me and my friend would be leaving,” You told him and proceeded to drag Wanda who started to protest. 

James didn’t do anything as he let you, his eyes watching your every move. He can only chuckle while the other two men just look at you impressively.

“Usually, girls throw themselves at me,” James drawled as he leaned back at the cushions as you stopped short. “I like you, Doll,”

“You don’t even know me,” you told him as you turned around to look at him.

“Maybe I will, soon.” he told you as he lifted his vibranium arm. “Now that I know you are foxy,” 

You bit your lip at that. “I won't meet up with the VIPs. They are too stuck up and I am not the kind of person to even bother with them,”

James only chuckled amusedly. “That’s the reason why,” He answered, totally far from what you are discussing, that you looked back down at him confused.

“What?”

James only looked at you, mischief swimming in his eyes now. “That’s the reason why you are a beautiful doll. You are feisty little one,”

You just narrowed your eyes at him. Gosh what is it with handsome people with egos the size of New York? Why is all the egotistic and dangerous men have the most beautiful eyes you had ever fucking seen– stop it Y/N.

“We’re leaving,” you only declared. Not wanting to stay a minute longer or else you would melt with his stupid words—

“You owe me, Y/N.” Your hand froze, hovering above the door’s handle as your name came out of his mouth. You bite your lip as your stomach does a flip at the sultry tone. He repeated again with a hint of amusement now. You took a deep breath as you turned towards him.

“Now I owe you? I thought it was your club’s fault that this happened to me?” You asked, clearly not thinking about your words. Your tone challenged and James picked up on it as he stood up.

“I can just compensate you with a free drink but I decided to take you in my VIP room which was actually reserved to one of my highly valued customers,” James explained as he looked around the room. “This cost around 1700 dollars at least,”

Your eyes widened at that. You might have been doing a decent job at Wakanda and receiving enough wage to live your lifestyle and support your mother but damn. 1700 dollars for only a fucking room? You could have bought groceries with that kind of money plus new games for you PS5 and PS4.

“I-I didn’t ask you about this. You offered,” You retorted as you crossed your arms over your chest. Not wanting to back down. Gosh, you should have walked away now you are going to be dead somewhere in the ditch and forgotten. 

You felt Wanda silently reprimanding you, asking you to stop answering back or both of you will be dead but it seems like James is entertained.

“You got me there, Doll.” He said as he moved forward until he stood right in front of you. You stiffened a bit as you saw him towering over you. Despite wearing platform boots (courtesy of Wanda), you had to look up to be able to see his face. “How about I get your number and I’ll make it up to you, besides you don’t know me either.”

You stared back at him. “I think I know enough,” You mumbled to him but James shook his head.

“Not enough, Doll.”

“You’re dangerous,”

“Not with me doll,” He countered as he pulled out his phone and offered it to you. You blinked down at it. "You're safe with me,"

“What if I don’t give it to you tonight?”

James chuckled at that. “New York is small. I know it like the back of my hand, we’ll bump to each other,”

“I didn’t exist in your periphery until today and I have been here for more than four years now,” You told him, trying to stand your ground. You are that stubborn and it is supposed to have wear him down but James is just finding this fun.

“You did exist, Doll.” He lifted his vibranium arm again. “I just knew you as Foxy,”

You purse your lips trying to think. Half tempted to petulantly call him Wolfie. The nickname you had decided to call him from now on. Dead or not.

“Just give your damn number Y/N,” Wanda hissed at you as you glanced at her by the corner of your eye. “Don’t fight him on this please. I would like to live for another day,”

You sighed. You snatched his phone and decided to put your number. Your personal one and then offered it back to him. He took it making sure his fingers brushed yours, you jumped at the contact. If he noticed, he only smirked at you.

“Don’t call me too much. I might not answer,” You told him and James just smiled as he saved it up making sure you see it.

Foxy 🦊

“Let’s see, Foxy.” He mused and you nodded before you turned around. As you reached for the door, a thought came to you and slowly you turned back to him.

“What did you do to the bastard?” You can’t help but ask and James’ face turned serious for a moment before he only offered a smirk.

“You don’t have to think about it. It’s already been handled,”

“Like dirty laundry?” you asked and James raised a brow at you. You might have been oblivious to his identity but you knew how the people that are involved in some things or even the socialites handle problems. They disregard it like Dirty Laundry. Something you don’t talk about.

“Yeah, something like that,” He drawled. The Brooklyn accent is heavy on it as he regards you with an intensity that makes you blush. You nodded.

“Right, we are going.” You said as you grabbed Wanda’s hand and turned to the door. “Don’t make me regret giving you my number Wolfie,” You told him as you walked out. Deciding to throw another caution to the wind. You missed seeing James' eyes sparkle at the nickname.

“I’ll make sure of it Foxy,” You heard him call out.

Gosh, what did you get yourself into?

[shurisneakers]

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

[shemarmooresfedora]

Home

Series Summary: After being arrested, Spencer Reid desperately tries to get back home to his daughter, Camellia, who was placed into foster care in your home.

Pairing: Single!Dad!Spencer x Foster!Mom!Reader

Content/Warnings: swearing, mentions of mother abandonment

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist

Chapter 4

“You have a call from an inmate at the Washington D.C. Correctional Facility. To accept these charges, please press 1. To decline-,” you punched in the 1.

“Hey Spencer,” you greeted him.

“How did you know it was me?” he grinned.

“There’s not too many prisoners calling me, believe it or not,” you teased.

“I was calling to see if you could do me a big favor,” he spoke.

“What’s up?”

“My lawyer has told me that JJ told her my mom isn’t doing so well. She’s in a facility for her schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s,” he informed you.

“How can I help?” you asked.

“Could you bring Callie to go see her? I really think a familiar face could do a lot of good for her.”

“Of course, I’m 5 minutes away from her school. We can head right over,” you stated.

“Thank you so so much. Also, she doesn’t know I’m in prison so tell Callie just to tell her I’m away on a case. She’s in a fragile condition so it’s best to just say yes to everything she asks,” Spencer explained.

“Will do. If you are able to stay on the line for a few more minutes, you can say hi to Callie,” you told him.

“I was the last in line so I should be able to. I’ve got 6 minutes left,” Spencer said.

A bit of an awkward silence filled your car.

“So…are there any more injuries I need to attend to before work tomorrow?” you asked.

“No, I’ve got some help,” Spencer spoke vaguely.

“Okay, that’s good, I guess,” you pulled the car to a stop as Callie hopped in the passenger seat, “Your dad is on the phone, Callie.”

“Hi Dad!” she greeted.

“Hey sweetheart. How’s it going?” he asked.

“Really good. At soccer practice today, Coach told me I’m going to be a starter next game,” she beamed.

“That’s amazing! I wish I could be there to see it,” Spencer frowned slightly.

“Which is why I bought a camcorder so I can record the whole game for you to watch later as well as other things you may be sad to miss,” you said.

“Y/N, as much as I appreciate all you do for us, you need to stop spending so much money. I feel bad, I’ll reimburse you as soon as I’m out.”

“Spencer, I’m a doctor who rarely goes out and my closest friend is a cat. I have some money to spare,” you assured him.

“Why are you going left here?” Callie asked as you made a turn that wasn’t on your usual route home.

“Your dad wants you to visit your Grandma,” you replied.

“Callie, she just needs a familiar face so talk to her about your new school, soccer, anything but me going to jail,” Spencer explained, “Okay, I have 30 seconds left. Bye, love you, sweetheart!”

“Bye, Dad! Love you too!”

“Stay safe!” you added.

-

You walked up to the receptionist's desk with Callie, “Hi, she’s here to see Diana Reid.”

“Hi Callie, long time no see! No Dr. Reid today?” she asked.

“No, he’s away on a case,” you smiled politely.

“Callie, she’s in her room, dear,” the receptionist directed you down the hall.

Once you were outside the door, you stopped, “I’ll wait out here. Remember, your dad is on a long case. You are staying with the LaMontagne’s. And just agree with the stuff she says to not upset her,” you reminded Callie, “I’ll be right out here when you’re done.”

Before you had a chance to sit down in the waiting room, the door swung open.

“Grandma!” Callie exclaimed.

“My dear Callie,” she hugged her.

She looked up at you, “Is this who I think it is?”

You thought back to Spencer’s words.

She’s in a fragile condition so it’s best to just say yes to everything she asks.

“Um yes?” you answered.

“Callie’s mom! Oh my! I haven’t seen you in ages. I forgot what you even looked like, I remembered you differently. Forgive me, dear, could you remind me of your name?” she asked.

You looked to Callie for help but she looked just as confused as you and shrugged. She must not know either.

“Y/N,” you extended your hand for her to shake.

“What a beautiful name,” she smiled, “Come in! Come in!”

“So Callie, how has my favorite granddaughter been?” she asked.

“I’m your only grandchild, Grandma,” Callie playfully rolled her eyes, “I’ve been really well! Y/N-I mean Mom actually got me into a better school and I’ve been keeping busy with soccer and clubs and hanging out with friends.”

“That’s wonderful to hear! Y/N, how are you doing?” she turned to you.

Shit. What the fuck were you supposed to say?

“I’ve been well,” you simply stated with a nervous smile.

“Are you and Spencer dating again?”

I suppose you had to agree to this too.

“Yes, we are,” you nodded.

“Well, I hope you are back for good this time,” she stated.

That seemed kind of back-handed but maybe deserved, you didn’t know Callie’s mom’s backstory. You just continued to nervously smile through the rest of the visit as Callie caught up with her grandma.

-

“Well that was awkward,” you sighed as you got back into the car after the visit, “I need a milkshake.”

Callie was silent all the way to the drive-thru and as you ordered two large chocolate milkshakes and fries.

Finally, she spoke as you parked the car in the parking lot to eat, “I mean you’re more of a mom to me than my own mom. Dad never really told me much about her. She must have left when I was a baby because I don’t remember her at all.”

“I’m sure your dad has his reasons for not telling you but you must know that her leaving wasn’t your fault at all,” you told her.

“Who would leave a baby and my dad?” she teared up.

“I don’t know, honey,” you pulled her in for a hug, “It was her loss though whoever she is because she didn’t get to see what an amazing girl you have become.”

-

“Reid, visitor,” the guard called out.

Please let it be Callie and or Y/N, Spencer prayed.

He needed a ray of sunshine in his otherwise completely dark week. He didn’t want it to be the team or his lawyer asking if he remembered anything else because he didn’t. He couldn’t.

He slumped out of bed and let the guard cuff him on the way to the visitor room. His pace quickened when he saw you waiting there for him, just as beautiful as always.

You smiled at first when you saw him but it morphed into a frown when you saw fresh bruises forming.

“Spencer, I thought you said you had help,” you whispered.

“Apparently not all of the time,” he mumbled.

You bit your bottom lip worriedly, “Well, I brought my med kit.”

You got up and started to inspect his face.

“How did the visit with my mom go?” he asked.

“Good, I guess,” you replied.

“You guess?”

“She saw me before I went to the waiting room. I said yes to everything she said but that included her thinking that I was Callie’s mom and that we were dating,” you grimaced.

Spencer sighed, “Oh god.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what to do,” you apologized.

“No, no, it’s not your fault. You were just doing what was told. Did Callie have questions?”

You nodded.

Spencer ran his hands through his hair, “I knew this day would come but I’m still not prepared. I just avoid thinking about it at all costs.”

“Do you want to talk to me about it and maybe I can help you put the right words together,” you offered.

“Um okay, her name was Austin. I met her on a case. She was a bartender. We were long distance for a bit. She got pregnant early on in the relationship. We decided to try to make it work. She moved in with me in D.C. and had Callie. When Callie was about 4 months old, she got overwhelmed and just left…just like that. I went to the park with Callie and came back to find all of her things gone and a note that just said ‘sorry’. I haven’t heard from her since. We were trying to force a happy ending that wasn’t there,” Spencer finished.

“Well lucky for Callie, she has one amazing dad and that is more than enough,” you reassured him.

“And a pretty kick ass foster mom,” Spencer smiled.

“I try my best,” you grinned.

A/N: i have a smut one-shot (not related to this series) coming out tomorrow and i’m very excited about it

main taglist (just ask to be added/removed): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @rem-ariiana-deactivated20210709 @hoodpankow @mochionly @spencerreid-187 @babymetaldoll @fics4arainyday @ssavanessa22 @all-tings-diego @idonotexiste @beepbooptoop @tvandfanfic @mggsprettygirl @big-galaxy-chaos @navs-bhat @spencerreidsmommy @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm

series taglist: @ilovespencerreidmarryme @nani-2305 @obsessivelysearching @fantasynerd09 @bvttercupbby @britishspidey @ladyravenclaw @belledawnidk @annesauriol @smokey102 @lady-himbo @kaitieskidmore1 @westanspencerreid @manuosorioh @haylaansmi @unhea1thy0bsessions @meganskane @lovergirl24 @queenariesofnarnia @asexual-booknerd @spideyyypeter @yeehawbitchs @emma-is-a-nerd @lellsinthesky @itsdars @aliahemmings97 @xdsage @cutekashi @theodore-likes-frogs @girlgotattitude448 @royalestrellas @co0chiegrip1

[shadowhuntering]

Blackthorn Children and Their Names

I might be going overboard with this, nevertheless, I still want to talk about it. The Blackthorn children are some of my favourite characters, and I’m a history nerd so...🤷‍♀️ I want to take the time to discuss the Blackthorn children, their names and how it relates to their characterisation.

I found this post from Cassie way back in 2012 when she first was developing the Blackthorns, there was meant to be 8 children, with Ariadne being the last. This is funny now as there is still a character that has a name of Ariadne in the Last Hours.

This is going to be very long post so I would recommend reading it in chunks if one wishes.

Helen

Helen is named after Helen of Troy. It is difficult to know whether Helen of Troy actually lived. We know that there was a Troy, we know it was destroyed. Were the Greeks so dramatic that they would go to war over a kidnapped woman? Probably, if she had enough status. She did considering the men she was associated with and was a daughter of Zeus. Helen was known for her beauty. The important thing to note is that a war supposedly started due to her kidnapping, but there was a lot of build up preceding it. This poor woman was tossed about from man to man. Aphrodite also really didn’t help. She was kinda the one that initiated the war because she wanted Paris and Helen together, despite Helen being married to Menelaus, the next in line to being the king of SPARTA of all things. What I find significant about this story in regard to Helen Blackthorn’s story is that she was exiled, wasn’t given a choice despite her innocence and in a round about way, led to the war that was carried out in TDA, but had also been caused by the Endarkened war in the first place.

I’m sorry I don’t have much to say about Helen in regard to her namesake because the Illiad is extremely male dominated, and women were not really... considered as people if we're being honest. I think the most influential woman in the story is Aphrodite who stirs up the shit in the first place and continues to be a pain in the ass because that’s gods and Aphrodite for you. Helen Blackthorn was subject to being torn from her family and from that she struggled to slip back into the role of sister, but also being the parental figure. Helen’s character is that she is a kind person who loves her family and has been through a lot of trauma. She’s also pretty clever and sly when her and Aline pretended to register all the Downworlders.

Mark

Cassie says that this isn’t Marcus Antonius and then literally explains Marcus Antonius… He’s just known as Mark Antony because it can easily confused with others of the same name. Anyway, so yes, Mark Antony was a close friend of Caesar’s, and wasn’t one that helped murder him. He was a Consul for some time and a cavalry commander, helping Caesar’s conquest of Gaul. He also became Quaetor which gave him the position of a financial administrator. During the civil war in 49 AD between Pompey and Caesar, Mark Antony fled Rome as he was in support of Caesar, he helped fight in the Italian Penisula. Caesar even left him in control of Italy during the Spanish campaign, later joining him in Greece to fight. He failed to keep order in Italy and was removed until 44 AD when became Consul and was beside Caesar again.

After Caesar’s death, Mark Antony gained possession of the treasury and Caesar’s papers. He had control of Southern Gaul and Northern Italy, but originally he was at odds with Octavian. Later Octavian made a 5 year pact with Mark Antony and Lepidus, forming a second Triumvirate. After the Battle of Philippi, the three divided up the Empire, Mark Antony took control the Eastern provinces where he first met with Cleopatra. In 40 AD Mark Antony’s wife, Fulvia, decided to rebel against Octavian with the backing of his brother, Lucius. Octavian quelled this rebellion but killed the rebels. Antony and Octavian reconciled, and Mark Antony married Octavian’s sister Octavia.

Mark Antony spent much of the rest of the Triumvir in Greece and soon was with Cleopatra permanently, he had also started giving his children the lands that he controlled. This was a sign of being “kingly” which is something Roman Society prevented and despised. Once Mark Antony officially divorced Octavia, Octavian waged war, but not against Mark Antony per se, as that would indicate a Civil War (something that was not favourable), this was against Cleopatra. They were cornered in Greece, but Mark Antony and Cleopatra managed to escape and retreat to Egypt. They were safe for a year until Octavian started making his way over. Mark Antony killed himself, Octavian was going to ask Cleopatra to be a fixture in Rome and create a triple Triumvir (possible ploy to imprison her), but she also killed herself. They suspected they would be captured and tortured.

Sorry, I found this stuff interesting, espcially when it came to Mark Antony and Caesar. I mostly think of how Julian in Lady Midnight asked Mark to look after the kids and Mark just completely failed, in that it didn’t meet Julian’s standards so it caused more of a rift between them, but they worked it out in the end. When it came to Octavian it was a little different. He was almost way too lax by that time which kind of fits Mark's character. To me there isn’t much about Mark Antony that I could truly think Oh! Mark. The fact that Mark Antony was loyal to Caesar though is clearly a statement for Mark’s loyalty to Julian and that they can rely on each other.

Julian

My god! There is so much to say about Julian.

Julius Caesar is a fascinating character, he was a strategist, corrupt in many ways but also a good general, and ultimately a decent ruler. I see a lot of similarities, so no wonder Julian is named after Caesar.

First I have to talk about pirates. This section of Caesar’s history is what made me think about how Julian was described as he would come away from hell, owing the devil himself a favour. So, Caesar was kidnapped by pirates who issued an exchange of 20 talents. Caesar, being Caesar was saying that he took offense to being valued as 20 talents, 50 talents was a more reasonable price (this roughly translates to £79m in modern money), to which the pirates humoured. Whilst holding Caesar and waiting for the exchange, Caesar told them stories and poems, joked with them etc- Caesar joked about when he gets out he would come back and crucify them all. All the pirates found this hilarious and guess what? That’s exactly what Caesar did. Not very long after Caesar was exchanged did Caesar turn ship, capture them all, put the pirates on an island and crucified them all. This also meant that he could take back the 50 talents and loot the ship. Honestly, aside from the invasion of Gaul and other parts of Europe, this the most deplorable thing Caesar did, just because they were stealing from Rome and offended what his monetary value was. I just can’t, I see so much of Julian in this act though, when he was emotionless, but also not.

He was also a fan of supporting a meritocracy, but then again Roman society was just like that. Yes, you had inherited excellence, but you had to prove that you were capable of that excellency. I’m getting off track. Despite Julius Caesar having some kind of excellence, his father was never Consul, which was the position he wanted. So he rose up through the ranks to get it mostly through political acumen. When he got there? Totally abused it for his personal gain, yet also made some decent reforms that helped the people of Rome. As Consul you couldn’t be prosecuted because you have Imperium, so some very illegal decisions could be made… I link this to literally all the decisions made throughout TDA. I mean, it was all circumstantial though, but man, Julian broke the law a lot.

There are some other things that I want to point out in Caesar’s history, such as creating the first Triumverat which divided the leadership of the Roman Empire and created a good governance. Caesar being legislative, Crassus being treasury, Pompey being military. I mean, again a little corruption here and there, but it worked. There was also a case of the last forces of Gaul tried to fight against Caesar in centre Gaul once Caesar had conquered all of Gaul. Vercengeterix rose an army to fight against Caesar, taking place atop Alesia which was a major city. When this army rose up he created a 24 mile wall to stop them! This stumped the Gaul forces for a while, but just as they were about to sneak attack Caesar set a cavalry to scare them, Gaul forces thought this was the first of a huge onslaught of Roman forces (It was not) and they booked it, therefore Caesar secured all of Gaul once again. It just shows how intimidating Caesar was, but also how perceptive he was. I would argue that he knew his enemy, which allowed him to effectively defeat them. Again, can’t help but think of Julian being strategic and extremely perceptive.

When it came to Caesar becoming Dictator, Pompey had betrayed him and he declared war against a fellow friend and Roman in Rome- something that Roman society was scared of as this was a declaration of Civil War. Pompey retreated and when Caesar reached him in Greece Pompey had already been captured and beheaded. Caesar did not want this, he wanted to pardon him, he did so with the rest of Pompey’s army. The thing that people don’t realise about Caesar is that he was big on granting Clemency (except for pirates apparently...). People who had fought against him, he would grant Clemency when it came to fellow Romans. Besides, going to the East encouraged him to go to Egypt where he met Cleopatra. They struck a deal with each other; he would help get rid of her brother, so she could become Pharaoh, and she would supply Rome with food. When he named himself Dictator for life, that’s when people grew increasingly suspicious of him, because it was too close to being a monarchy which was resented by Roman society. Then we have the infamous stabbing in the Senate where 60 odd senators, including some of his closest friends turned against him. His time as Dictator, Caesar made reforms for public welfare, government efficiency and general stability. He limited political and military power of provincial governors, to stop repeating history with him and Pompey (ahaha, that didn’t work though, but it did show that he tried to prevent another Civil war), he also reformed the Roman calendar, conducted a Census, carried out several building operations, unified provinces closer to Italy and was genuinely a good leader. I can’t not see Julian in any of this, I mean, Julian was the one who organised the rebellion against the Cohort. Julian is an effective leader, but I would argue that he has more of a compassionate heart than Caesar had, but that was due to Caesar being an Imperialist, he still looked after his fellow Romans as best he could. Julian is ruthless though, his actions all benefitted him in the end, all he cared about was making sure his friends and family were safe. Julian made allies with people, they weren’t necessarily friends, just like how Caesar had to make friends and prove his excellence to become Consul in the first place and also become Dictator. They both manipulate and perceive exceptionally well.

Julian’s section is obviously long already but I also wanted to talk briefly about his middle name of Atticus, because I think it also lends some insight. It’s not like Mark and Ty’s names where that was still the name of the person of their namesake. So Atticus was a popular name, but the two most famous people named Atticus do lend some insight to Julian. There was Herodes Atticus who was an intellectual and Orator. He was a teacher of philosphy, but also helped develop water-ways. He was severly disliked though, known for being tyrannical. He also killed his wife.

The other famous Atticus is Titus Pomponius Atticus. The only non-political contender here, but a businessman and philosopher of sorts. He was close friends with Cicero, often helping him create his writings. He was known for being suave and charismatic. Despite not being a part of politics, he made powerful relationships with people in the centre of major politics, such as Octavian. Cicero had claimed that Atticus was not someone who had goals... Cicero famously spoke out against Octavian, and was killed because of it. Atticus, however, remained friends with Octavian, later becoming friends with Agrippa, Octavian’s right hand of sorts. This I found interesting because it seemed to me that he never revealed his own intentions. He made friends with powerful people and no doubt had a heavy influence on their actions. The fact that Atticus was “suave” and “charming” definitely made me think of how Julian strikes deals with people, how suave he was when addressing Horace Dearborn after his emotions were taken away et cetera.

Speaking of Atticus, you also can’t not think of Atticus Finch who once again was a character of great intellect and strategy, remaining calm. You can’t not be when being a lawyer. What is important about the charactisation of Atticus Finch is the relationship with his kids. He teaches them about compassion, but would explain without qualms anything they were curious about, treating them like adults. Ironically, I feel that this is something that Julian struggles with doing to a certain extent. With Ty he can’t lie as easily to, the others though he struggles with letting them go because of his attachment. It’s not that he doesn’t allow them autonomy, it’s just he’s too overtly conscious of their well-being. For instance, he tells Dru that the reason he wants her to keep safe in Lord of Shadows and in Queen is because with good conscience he won’t perform best in battle because he would be constantly worrying about her. He 100% supports their individuality though.

Atticus Finch takes the trial of defending Tom Robinson because he wanted to prove to his children that what he does matters, individuals shouldn’t be judged, but also encourages them to understand him as he belief in the Justice system. Atticus knew that Tom Robinson was innocent, but he would be ruled as guilty as he was black- it teaches Jem and Scout that they should be considerate of people. Atticus is respected, having supported the poorer people of the community in court, but by supporting Tom Robinson, he was scorned. He knew this would happen. This is just food for thought, but I especially find this parallel the most intriguing in regards to how the Blackthorn children regard Julian. They all hold him in a bright light, Julian makes some choice decisions and the kids pay no mind to it because they already understand his intentions. It’s flipped for Jem and Scout. They gradually learn and understand their father, his values and the lessons he is trying to teach them and therefore grow to respect him. It’s fascinating really.

Anyway, lets move on…

Livia

This one is… hoooo. Her name is Livia Drusilla, she was indeed a Roman Empress and married to Tiberius Claudius Nero, but Cassie fails to specify how she is a Roman Empress as she was an Empress by being married to Octavian/Augustus, and was the mother of Tiberius Nero Claudius Drusus, the second Emperor of Rome. She is literally somehow associated to every younger Blackthorn child, and also technically Julian as in Augustus’ will, he adopted her into the Julius family where she is named Julia Augusta… I just can’t what the hell.

Livia Drusilla is an extremely interesting person. Her first husband was Tiberius Claudius Nero who was a Quaetor under Julius Caesar and later a Praetor. He was also in support of Julius Caesar, but after his murder, Tiberius was against Octavian and fled Rome with Livia for a few years with their son Tiberius. They returned to Rome but Octavian saw Livia and was like “damn, I want her” he forced a divorce on them and soon married Livia, despite her being pregnant with her second child, Drusus. She and Octavian tried having a child but it was a miscarriage. Their marriage though is SO INTERESTING. 1. They were married for 51 years (until Augustus’ death) 2. She was an advisor to Octavian/Augustus, helping to make decisions on his policies 3. Augustus gave her autonomy over her own finances! Yes, you read that right. That is completely unheard of for this time for women. She also administered copper mines in Gaul, entire estates of palm groves in Judea and dozens of papyrus marshes in Egypt 4. She also had her own circle of clients that she tutored into becoming political figures! Like damn!

Livia Drusilla was almost definitely the cause of the deaths of Augustus’ favoured nephews that he adopted and wanted to inherit the Empire. Though, this narrative in a story many centuries later included Tiberius… he wasn’t though. The impression that I got was he never wanted the Empire anyway and resented his mother to an extent. Livia wanted her son to take on the Imperium next. So when it came to Augustus’ death, he ended up leaving 2/3rds of the Empire to Tiberius, adopting him in his will and leaving 1/3rd of the Empire to Livia also adopting her as aforementioned. This tells me that she was either extremely charismatic or even manipulative, or Augustus genuinely valued her input and loved her. I mean considering how easily he broke off his marriages with his previous two wives and abruptly married Livia, it speaks volumes that he stayed with her, even though she produced no legitimate heir for him. My mind is reeling from this.

When it came to Tiberius’ rule, it is assumed that she remained an advisor as well to him until her death. I find this all really bittersweet. The kind of life this Livia had in comparison to how Livvy died prematurely. However, Livvy isn’t properly gone either… on the basis of what Livia Drusilla accomplished as a women in oppressive ancient Rome, who knows what Ghost Livvy can achieve. I have so much excitement with what destruction will come from Ghost Livvy, and knowing this it has enhanced it. She has always been an advisor to Ty, but also even to Julian at times, heck she had set his mind at ease sometime! She was arguably the one that Julian didn’t have to worry about as much, but unfortunately, she was the one who had her life cut short.

Tiberius

So this one… The Second Emperor of Rome, the son of Livia Drusilla. How Cassie explains him is really interesting, pointing out that he was tyrannical and vengeful(I’ll get to that). Why she felt the need to explain this compared to the thers idk. According the the written histories by Tacitus which is where the title of the Dark Artifices comes from... These writings of Tacitus were called the Annals of Imperial Rome but there is no terminology that I found that derives “Dark Artifices” but oh well. How Tacitus talks about Tiberius will definitely take a biased stance because no one liked Tiberius.

Tiberius was said to be quiet and awkward, often shy. This is one of the reasons why Augustus didn’t want Tiberius to rule after him because he didn’t think Tiberius fit the bill of Emperor (clearly Livia thought otherwise). They also couldn’t agree on anything. Tiberius was a proficient commander of the military, he enjoyed battle and often fought alongside Drusus, his brother, one of his only confidants aside from his wife, Vipsania. It is written that most likely these two kept Tiberius happy. Unfortunately though, Augustus forced Tiberius to divorce Vipsania to marry his daughter Julia, something that Tiberius was deeply upset about. Soon Drusus also dies on the Germanic front. So he ended up losing his two most dear people. Tiberius ended up staying in Rhodes, most likely in a life of frivolity, away from Julia. Augustus didn’t approve and banned him from showing his face in public. Julia had then been accused of adultery and was exiled by Augustus due to it. Tiberius was not political, so when he inherited the Empire he had no political acumen to refer to. So no wonder he was recorded to be “Tyrannical”- he wasn’t proficient in it! However, financially speaking he was great. He was another who appointed people based on merit to his administration which benefitted massively.

Tiberius didn’t like foreign religions, actors or gladiators, so literally the entertainment that every other Roman enjoyed, he disliked. As he couldn’t contend with making friends in the court, he was overshadowed, especially by his nephew Germanicus for his military feats. It is speculated that Tiberius may have ordered Piso to kill Germanicus after Piso fell out with Germanicus in Syria. When Piso was tried in the senate, he killed himself, this did not help the assumption that Tiberius ordered to have Germanicus killed. This was furthered by the fact he did not attend Germanicus’ funeral. After this Tiberius became even more reluctant to rule, and had Sejanus handle his affairs. Sejanus was disliked by many of Tiberius’ family members, especially those closests to Germanicus. Sejanus used flimsy treason laws as an excuse to have his political enemies arrested, banished or killed. Sejanus looked to have acted on Tiberius’ own paranoia, but it could’ve been a ploy to get rid of those closest to Tiberius who would inherit the Empire, so that he might inherit it. Tiberius spent a lot of his time on the Island of Capri, where he apparently engaged in drinking and promiscuous proclivities, he was 70 years old by this time. Supposedly, he had sexual relations with prepubescent boys whilst on the Island. This was according to Caligula who ends up inheriting the Imperium. Some speclate that this exposure is what lead to Caligula’s erratic behaviour. I also remember reading that he was depicted in the empire as turning into a monster whilst on the Island of Capri.

Back to Sejanus! As Tiberius was not in Rome, and therefore in centre politics, he put himself in an awkward situation- he practically put Sejanus in charge of the Empire. Sejanus was cruel but effective. He gave provincial military commands to his friends, killed many influential people through his network of “spies”, continuing what I mentioned previously, where he accused them of treason. There was a lot of death though… Sejanus had also positioned himself as head of the guard with strong military connections. If Tiberius was to take him out, he had to be careful. He lured Sejanus to the Senate, making him believe he was going to be awarded more honours, the Senate then announced him a traitor, had him imprisoned and killed. The people who followed Sejanus were also killed in a bloody retribution. After being betrayed once more, Tiberius lived in solace for the rest of his life and bestowed the Empire to Caligula in his will. By the time Tiberius died, he had stabilized Rome’s economy and reformed many of it’s institutions.

So I can’t be the only one reeling over the name of Sejanus? This could be completely coincidental. Sejanus comes from the name Sejus which basically means one who brings misfortune (This was only from one source though). However something else that is just too coincidental is the fact that the god Janus and his wife Caramae (a nymph) had a son called Tiberinus, connecting to the creation of the Tiber. This aside, I am not convinced that Janus will be closely intertwined with Ty. I’m sticking with the fact that Janus is most likely a TMI gang problem.

So, Tiberius in relation to Ty… The personality traits of being quiet and awkward roughly translate. Ty is more curious to be honest. Ty is a quiet person and is “awkward” to people who don’t know him, I would argue that he isn’t the “leader” type either. The ironic thing is that Ty doesn’t like being in the throng of battle, despite Kit commenting that Ty did exceptionally well (biased or no, Kit😂). Tiberius excelled and enjoyed battle, especially as it was alongside his his brother; besides Livvy, Ty was better. I find it very interesting how Tiberius was separated from Vipsania is similar to how Kit left without saying goodbye. However what followed was Drusus dying, whereas the death of Livvy happened before. Tiberius wallowed in his sorrow and did things that were morally wrong, Ty was in denial and tried to correct it by practicing necromancy, despite it being morally wrong. Tiberius must have been intelligent for securing the economy and making decent reforms to benefit the people of Rome, and we know how intelligent Ty is, though he is also technologically inclined.

Tiberius was known as tyrannical and vengeful probably due to Germanicus and the fact that he ran and drank away his problems, he didn’t engage in political acumen or enjoy the entertainment of his people. I do resent the things that may have occurred on the Island of Capri. He was forced into a role he didn’t want, was shunned often out of public life, Augustus had given him a lot of anguish, had relationships torn from him, he had been betrayed several times. To me he seemed really tragic. Despite all the tragedy in Ty’s life, we haven’t quite seen him react in the same way. This may be because to a degree he has Livvy back and is a bit more stable, but he never accepted the fact she was dead in the first place. Sure, he’s broody over Kit, but I would argue he is doing better than Kit in the department of carrying on.

Ty’s second name is Nero, but I think that’s because that was also Tiberius’ second name. Either way, Emperor Nero, if you are not familiar with him, not just killed but sacrificed people and fellow Romans. He was insane. If you want a tryant- that would be one of my first examples. What I also wanted to mention though is referring back to Julian. So Julian makes sense to be morally grey, especially as his counterpart is Julius Caesar, however Ty’s counterpart was known for being monster, tyrannical and a recluse, and if Nero is also a name that lends to why he is named “Tiberius Nero” then I’m thinking if Julian is morally grey, Ty is going to be morally charcoal grey. He’s already half raised Livvy from the dead without batting an eyelid. Sure, Julian would’ve raised Emma in a heartbeat and literally stopped her from dying even though she asked him not to. Ty also just doesn’t understand morals when people say “It’s wrong” or “because I love you” it’s not an explanation. Julian does acknowledge them, yet can still act in spite of them... Julian also says that Ty was even more intelligent (than him). Ty was the one in Lady Midnight who strategised with Livvy’s help for some of the major investigations. I think what I’m trying to say is that already Ty takes after Julian so much. Ty has also been secretive in the fear of not being allowed or being berated. I have always had this feeling that Ty will be more morally grey/complex than Julian. I know that all Shadowhunter mains so far knew the laws of the land and actively went against them (because the laws were stupid, and/or oppressive). It’s what’s going to be funny with Kit, who was briefly his moral compass. KIT HERONDALE. A moral compass? A boy who is extremely arbitrary and has been raised by two people who don’t abide by laws; one being a trickster and the other is a retired Silent brother and ex Shadowhunter who doesn’t abide himself by Shadowhunters laws. I suppose one of the reasons Ty isn't as law abiding as he's suggested to be is because Julian never really abided by them😂. I just find this fascinating. Julian acts for his own gain in extension to his family, and so does Ty but he can be even more self-invested at times due to his curiosity. Does that make sense? Anyways, long story short, I think Ty is and will become more morally grey than Julian and I am LIVING for it.

Drusilla

Ahaha, this one is interesting. Drusilla is the sister of Caligula, who inherits the Empire after Tiberius. I find it interesting that her name is a variation of Drusus as well leading off of Tiberius’ brother. Cassie explained what happened to Drusilla pretty well. Anyways, Drusilla and Caligula had an extremely close relationship. In public Caligula practically treated her like his “first wife”. Due to Caligula being insane, mixed with it being “strange” how close they were alongside Drusilla having a husband (which Caligula organised as it was a friend of his)- it was thought that they also had a sexual relationship. This can’t be confirmed though.

Caligula had a health scare at one point and he wrote in his will that Drusilla would be given the Imperium in his death, this would make her the first Empress of Rome. This is thought to be so that her husband would rule in her stead and in the hopes that they would produced male heirs to continue the Julian line to rule. Caligula survived though, instead Drusilla did have an untimely death. Caligula was distraught and did not leave her body for days, not wanting anyone to take her body away. At the funeral he fit the image as the widower. He deified her as Diva Drusilla as a symbol of the Julian genetrix remaining in the Public eye. In deifying her, he compared her to the goddess of Venus, the goddess of beauty. This little detail I find very interesting as Dru is often so self-conscious about her looks.

I know that in the books it blatantly has Dru question and worry that is replacing Livvy, and I don’t think she is, because she’s Dru. Ty gained some respect for her during the events of Queen, because he too, underestimated her. However, the fact that Livvy is named after Livia Drusilla, and Drusilla here had an untimely death which her brother was so distraught by, he DEIFIED HER. It’s like they interchange slightly. I mentioned under Livia that her status could translate to what hell will break loose by Livvy being a ghost, but also, what if it’s also about how badass Dru could be. THEY SHARE THE SAME NAME. Cassie did research, she is fully aware of this and still kept going with Dru being called Drusilla. There is no other notable Drusilla in Roman history and due to Drusilla dying quite young and being a woman, you have to scrape the barrel anyway.

Octavian

Oh man. I’ve already said so much about Octavian/Augustus under Julian, Mark and Tiberius that I just can’t be bothered to unload more. It’s not like we know too much about Tavvy as he’s still a small child and growing so I’ll just give you the important stuff.

Octavian is indeed named “Eigth child” even though way back in 2012 when Cassie was still brainstorming the kids, there were meant to be 8, Octavian was still going to be the 7th child. I personally like the little detail that someone pointed out that the fact that Octavian is 7th and he was born after Emma was immersed in the family means that Andrew and Eleanor already considered Emma as one of their children. It breaks my heart. The fact that Julian is affectively Tavvy’s father is also clever as Julius Caesar did help cultivate Octavian, he was his Uncle, but adopted him as his son. Caesar also coincidentally preceded all the others as well, with Mark Antony being at the same time and continuing on is just HILARIOUS to me. Julian really is the father. Helen is a little hard because 1. it’s most likely a myth 2. she’s from the Mycenean Greece 3. Homer didn’t write the Iliad until 8th century BC.

I can suspect that Tavvy may take after Julian, like what I’ve picked up about Augustus taking after Caesar when it comes to things like strategy. The fact that Caesar tried to put things in place to prevent what happened between him and Pompey from happening again, but then Octavian has the same experience like a decade later with Mark Antony. I mostly find this stuff insightful when it comes to Tavvy and Octavian in comparison to the rest. Octavian had his name changed by the senate in 27 BC giving him the honorific title of Augustus when first becoming Emperor; therefore making his name Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus.

In conclusion, most of the Blackthorn’s namesakes are pretty relevant to their charactisations. It also may give us insight into what may become of them in regards to the mains of the Wicked Powers.

Sorry, this is a lot to read 😅but I had to talk about it somewhere and I really want to start a discussion on it, so please comment! I want to hear people’s thoughts.

I also want to thank @lifeofbrybooks and @bookishjules of @kraigsretirementparty because they have inspired me to go down this rabbit hole again (first I did research after Lord of Shadows). I would especially love to hear your opinions on this and I hope to make more analysis in the future.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hola Dani 👋🏼 how are you??

Are you about to go...

On us again?

A Fucking Breakup

THE BEGINNING

“Magnus,” Alec swallows, his voice raw and hoarse. “I can explain.”

That always sounds bad, not matter how inocent you are those words would make you sound guilty, which my twin is!!

“Well,” Magnus says and removes Alec’s hands from his face. “Now you do.”

That was rough!!! I'm sorry for my twin I know he fucked up bad and that saying sorry sometimes isn't enough but I hate to see him in pain...

On the other hand,  good for you Magnus, you don't need that lying hoe in your life...!!

What?? I can simp from two fronts 😎

THE MIDDLE

Twitter is starting to feel like the real villain of the story 😒

It had always been his vice with Magnus.

His need to know everything.

Very unhealthy of you!!

He is pretty sure he is no longer entitled to know the things he wants to know.

Ok but...  being married to a person doesn't mean you're entitled to their entire history also I'm pretty sure Magnus would tell you anything if you ask nicely!!

Alec had half expected Raphael to share an angry tweet about how he would rather impale himself on Cleopatra’s Needle than date Magnus - because he had in fact actually said those words out loud once.

Can't relate but what a fantastic quote 🤣🤣

And of course, there was a new hashtag.

#GetAlecLaid

OMG 🤣 was this Maxwell??

It did not help that Max had shared an insta story with a screenshot of the list and said ‘as if he could pull adam lambert lmao”

I knew my chaotic child wouldn't stay away from that 🤣🤣🤣

“You don’t get to break my heart and tell me how to fix it.”

This quote 🤯

Fuck everyone who is in it.

I wanna know who made the list 🙃

He likes gifs.

He loves them.

AQKDLQLQL...!!! THIS RIGHT HERE!! My fellow homies homos and hoes I'm claiming this 2 lines for myself, consider yourselves notified 😌

Max and Magnus have made up a couple of weeks ago – to Alec’s fucking relief.

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

Because if there is even a 0.001% that he will get back together with Magnus, he will hold onto it.

As will I...!!!

Because there is a tiny voice inside his that tells him that Magnus doesn’t want him anymore.

That voice is gaslighting you so bad it probably sounds like Camille 😨

He is just gonna have to spill his champagne on his coat “accidentally” and remove his coat so he can reveal what is underneath.

🤣🤣 I can only think of Shinyun

“What? It’s just fever,” Max groans. “It’ll go away.”

Is he faking it just to avoid David??

“I was going to go to Philly before going to the party,” Alec replies.

It's happening!!!

Alec grabs them and throws it right back at her. “Bring out the Maserati.”

Hoe behavior at it's finest!!

Alec shrugs off his coat and Ben literally screams and starts hooting.

The ONLY valid reaction to my twin's hotness 🤣🤣

Ben, um, is a bit of an alcoholic.

Ok, so we let Rafe mi bebé precioso hang out with this man, knowing this without asking any questions??? I know Rafe is an adult ok but he is also a child 😭

“Nice! You came to the right place,” Ben grins and jumps off the couch and then holds out his hand.

Ok sooo... Ben is a mess but he is a funny mess 🤣

“Ah. Okay. I thought his scary girlfriend told him not to talk to me,” Ben chuckles. “She does not approve of me.”

Biggest red flag ever!!! Anjali is a Godess and knows best!!!

Alec finds that ridiculous. Who wouldn’t want a Magnus?

Right? Sorry Ben can't relate

Alec slams his fist into the motherfucker’s face. The man groans in pain and clutches his nose.

Alec NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alec lunges forward and punches the dark-haired asshole and grabs him by his collar. “First of all, he killed his dad. Do your research. Second of all, my husband is not the crazy one, I am.”

I can hear Lily and Maia groaning from here 😓

David 🥰😍👋🏼😍🥰

This is so not the reaction Alec was going for.

You would have gotten the reaction you wanted if you hadn’t gone to see Benjamin!!!!!

Alec takes Magnus’ hand and puts it on his chest. “Here.”

😭😭😭

Oh Alec 😭

THE END

I'm not ready for this part

“You love him.”

Max opens his eyes.

“Yes.”

Of course he does!! 🥰🥰

Dad lets out a sigh. “I want you to tell me everything. All of it. From the top. Do you hear me?”

Yes, please talk 🙌🏼🙌🏼

Note to self: Maybe ask David if he wants to withstand this shit?

He does!!! Go get your man!! Maybe hug your dad first because he is on sadness level 100

Note to self: Literally, no one is perfect...Except for David. 

Note to self: LISTEN TO THE GAY YODA. 

Please change his contact name to Gay Yoda 🤣🤣

He almost looks like he is going to cry again.

No please if you start crying then I'll start crying

Note to self: Try reading one of David's favorite books. 

I suggest you start with RWRB

“Oh my god,” the woman covers her mouth with a hand. “Have you two been-”

I honestly thought Alec would be the last one to find out!!

“No!” Lexi squeaks. “I’m literally shooketh right now.”

🤣🤣🤣 my precious twin... all my siblings are crazy!!

Nooooo why are they fighting???

Max feels the tears on his face. But he doesn’t make any effort to wipe them away.

😭😭😭😭

Note to self: He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving. He is leaving.

Note to Dani: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

“I heard you were leaving to Cambridge,” Max manages a smile and stands up, passing the things back to David. “I came to say goodbye.”

What the fuck Maxwell????

Cry one last time for me, sweetheart.

Noooooo noooooo... IS MAVID!! 😭😭😭😭😭 Daniiii...!!!

Max swallows the tears inside his throat. “You…You gave Rafael your earrings. You left a letter to dad. But you didn’t give me anything.”

Oh Max 😭😭😭

Note to self: See? You’re good for something!

YOU'RE AMAZING MAX!!!

“Okay,” Max manages to say. “Now I’m feeling better about not getting any diamonds from you.”

Bapak lets out a shaky laugh. He kisses Max on the head.

Ok this is weird but it is the first time ever I've understood what a shaky laugh is because I just did it 🤣

I would never miss a David performance for a makeout session. Rip to malec but I am different!

Right?? Who the fuck does that??

I'm crying in Mavid right now 😭

Thank you Dani 💚💚💚💚

THE GIFS. THE FUCKING GIFS. I CAN'T.

Also i loved the GoT references so much.

Thank you for making me laugh as always <3

[jostepherjoestar]

👑Hewwu Queen 👑 is it alright if I request DIO in part 3 meeting his descendant?. Like he basically had a kid accidentally in part 1 and now he’s meeting their great grandkid who looks allot like him and seems to not be fully human. Maybe he meets them at night since their family was traveling around the world and stopped off in Egypt where he found them maybe listening to music?

Since you write for DIO, is it alright if I request that he somehow meets one of his kid after they get into some time travel shenanigans. Maybe his kid has a stand that is kinda similar to his but they aren’t confident in using it

DIO aiding his helpless descendant 

sfw / gn reader 

notes/warnings: implied assault (on your great-great grandmother)

Another case of two anons thinking alike!! It was really fun to think about this and sorry for taking so much time to get to it :o I hope you’ll still enjoy 💖✨also the pacing is strange/fast (to me), but i felt it fit with how frantic i imagine meeting Dio is

Somewhere between irking Jonathan and wishing to destroy any respectful sliver of the Joestar bloodline, Dio had his own way of indulging and spending his time. Men, women; any creature he could manipulate to his will and suck the life out of to join his dark army was welcome in his dimly lit hideout to meet their fate. The self proclaimed god that had surmounted humanity took pleasure in playing with his food; leaving them in complete darkness, literally. He’d let them suffer in silence, hearing them whimper and regret their choice to ever step foot inside the wicked monster’s palace. But it was always too late.

Except for the very night Jonathan had decided to come spoil the fun and ruin Dio’s playtime. The woman hadn’t meant anything to him, just a toy to play with and to later discard on the pile of other bodies strewn about. Was she glad to have been saved by the burly Joestar? At first yes; brought back to her senses, out of that monster’s grasp but left terribly violated. Left to carry and care for the offspring Dio would never know or care about, too busy being left to slumber in the ocean and gaining a new form from his hated ‘brother’.

Dio rose again, skulking in the shadows of dimly lit cities, looking for any and all petty humans and stand users to claim for his side. It took time and patience he didn’t know he possessed to get fully comfortable in his new body. There was always this inkling, a nagging sonar that kept getting louder and louder, not much unlike his connection to the new generation of Joestars. It grasped at his thoughts, kept him from any semblance of peace of mind -as much as he could acquire it- and there seemed to be no way of silencing it. He couldn’t see a clear picture; it was just nothing but an annoying sense of something being near.

He had searched for weeks like a bloodhound hot on a trail, irritated that he of all people, nay creations, was being made to follow and be obedient to the terrible nagging. It angered him greatly and only when he found a mere youngster sitting on a bench, you, a simple looking human, did it boil over. Sat with your walkman resting next to you on the wooden seating, head bopping along to your newest cassette in the middle of the night. Completely lost in the song you’d been drumming along to with your fingers. Dio was furious but knew better than to strike before investigating, he needed answers and he needed them now.

As he got closer to you, sneaking from behind, he noticed an immediate shift. You were no longer alone. An image, a blur that became clearer and steadier and more live-like as each second passed; posing defensively, staring down Dio with a fire in your eyes not much unlike the tall blonde’s. Not for a moment does he fear for his safety. Even though The World is a newly acquired power it could easily wipe out a scrawny kid without even hitching a breath. He smirks, eyes cast over in shadow by the dim street light as he hears you pause your cassette player.

“Oh? Was I disturbing you?’ he mocks in a smirk, catching the way your eyes glint and the vaguely familiar image you awaken in him. Just like before he’s left to figure out who this annoying hazy memory is. His voice shivers down your very being, goosebumps taking over your skin; not sure if you had already missed your chance to run. It was like his glare fixated you in place, finger still resting on the pause button of your player while the other reached up to remove the flimsy headphones.

“You…” you barely get out the word. The accusatory tone you had tried to convey had watered down to a whimper. You had felt the connection too, something nagging at your soul and stringing you along until you’d finally found the source. “Me? Hah! No, you.” Dio slid closer, his steps so quiet and calculated that even though you couldn’t take your eyes off of him you swore it seemed like he floated. You swallowed thickly, the huge figure that excluded an aura so menacing only a meter away from you.

“So. Who are you and why was it so disgustingly annoying to find you?” he joked impertinently, amused by the way you clenched your jaw at his remark. “I could ask you the same.” a brave little spark still smouldering inside. “DIO. Now don’t make me ask again, you’re making me dreadfully inpatient.” He hadn’t felt the need to kill you, at least not yet. Dio was truly curious about your answer but by the looks of it you really didn’t seem to know all that much.

You begrudgingly gave him your name, in need of some answers yourself. The sound of your name didn’t ring a single bell, not a tick, not a clank. Nothing. Not a single step further to knowing anything. “Well it seems like you do have a stand. Maybe you possess a great power that might be useful to me.” that wicked grin on his face told you a little too much of his motivations. He reminded you of those Saturday morning cartoon villains. But still you felt compelled to listen, ignoring every single red flag.  

Deciding to humour him you give out your stand’s name. “Trust me, we can’t really do much.” you huffed. You’ve only obtained your stand recently and honestly, it has been pretty shitty so far. You didn’t know exactly what it could do, it was just there. Any time you felt stressed or in danger it did come to your aid but it remained awfully docile. Their presence comforted you but you just knew it was capable of so much more.

“Are you a vampire?” The sudden question came out more surprised than Dio had hoped to let on. He regained his posture, opting to slide next to you on the bench with a swift move. There was something… off about the way you carried yourself that reminded him of himself and the other vampires he’d created. The question stunned you, your eyes that had already been widened in shock only growing more so. The way he had changed the entire conversation that had barely earned its start urged you to think quickly. “I don’t know.” you mumbled demurely. You really didn’t know. So many weird things had been happening to you lately that you being a vampire would explain a lot.

Your answer seemed to change the imposing man’s gaze and expression. It hardened a bit, his grin now slowly diminishing into a straighter line and his pointed brows resting down at a more natural angle. Even in this low light his image felt so familiar, like you were already supposed to know who he was but the memory remained hidden. Locked away for your safety. “You should feed. And don’t go out in daylight anymore.” Dio paused for a second. “Strange...” He pondered to himself out loud. He’s only seen a few cases like this, vampiric genes passed down through generations. For some reason he pitied you, as much as he could muster it. The unknown bond you shared felt too unusual to write off.

“What am I supposed to do?” you felt tears prick your eyes, trying your best to remain strong but you’ve been so tired. You couldn't confide in anyone, not about this. Tears started rolling, falling in thick streams down your cheeks and dropping onto your lap. Here you were, crying to a stranger named Dio about being a vampire and having weird powers. A bizarre twist of fate.

“First of all, stop crying. Then, widen your stance when you’re about to fight someone. I could have easily knocked you down with that flimsy imitation. Fix your posture while you’re at it. Call out your stand again.” He rattled off his demands quickly and flatly. Was he helping you? They were barbed complaints but it seemed like he actually wanted to aid you in whatever it was you were going through. You sniffled, wiping at your cheeks. You felt like a kid again; asking your parent for any reassurance when life knocked you down.

Dio actually offered a lot of viable advice, telling you about techniques to silence your steps, how to take someone down easily, to feed on humans within an inch of their life. You had asked him, just in case. You weren’t planning on killing anyone; a comment which made him scoff. That intimidating impression and overall feeling of having to bend to his will had lessened the more you talked to the blonde. He casually sat with you for what felt like hours. He hadn’t divulged into his own history, instead asking you about yours. He was still trying to figure out what this weird pull was.

“No one in your family has experienced anything like this before? Hmph. It seems to have skipped multiple generations then.” he was asking about your great grandmother and all the others that came before you. It could have occurred to them but you would have never known. “My family did come from England, though. My great-great grandmother fled in a hurry. We don’t really know why, Windknight’s Lot seems like an unusual place to frantically run from.” As soon as the small town’s name left your lips everything fell into place for Dio. His grin grew again, satisfied to finally know your connection to him.

Family.

One he made for himself, by accident, by a relation created on his own devious whim. Not that horrible Joestar bunch that kept ruining his fun or his horrible father that was but a faint minuscule memory. Something he did. It brought him even more satisfaction to know how perfectly in place it felt for you to be the one to develop these powers at the perfect time. His mind could have exploded with possibilities; a thousand ways to make you join his side. But it didn’t, he wasn’t sure that’s what he wanted yet. And he surely wasn’t going to tell you of your bond either, lest you get attached too quickly.

As you finished up and the early signs of a rising sun were starting to make itself known on the horizon, you were saying your goodbye’s. “Thank you for helping me. Truly, I- I don’t know how I-” you weren’t allowed to finish your earnest thanks. Dio knew you meant it, one of the only few truly grateful acknowledgements he’s ever received. “I’ll be taking over the world in a few months. If you feel so inclined to join, you know where to find me.” His lips curled into a smirk and he was making his move to leave you behind, alone on the bench again. Left to scramble for your stuff to try and stop him but he was already out of sight. “WAIT! I don’t know where to find you! You never told me!” you yelled into the empty streets, heart thumping out of your chest, hoping this wasn’t just a very elaborate dream you were caught in.

“Trust your instincts.” The voice felt incredibly close but so far away, like catching a falling snowflake; as soon as you grasped it, it just melted away.

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

hello! how are you? i hope you're doing fine, um i'm here because i wanted to ask if you can write about armin falling in love with someone who's related to art, like a painter and suddenly discovering a whole new world. i will be so happy if you can do it.

thank you and please, stay healthy! 💗

Hi💛 of course! I really love that idea! Plus as a painter myself the struggle is real man, just yesterday i was having an overwhelming meltdown over what type of brushes to buy.

You seem really lovely so here's a mini fic! 🌸

Armin falling in love with a Painter!reader

{ Armin x reader | tw: none | fluff, pinning | modern }

{ "The Cathedral of Saint Jacques le Mineur, Liege" 1846 by Jenaro Pérez Villaamil 1807 - 1854 }

Reading is Armin's best friend, it always has been. It kept him company on countless sleepless nights as a child, and now it offered the escape his soul needed when overwhelmed with troubles of being a living human in this current world.    

"It's just captivating," he explained to you one day while walking together, happily clutching the bags of books he just baught. You like how they smell. For someone who reads a lot, he surely seems to be out of words when it comes to describing things he's passionate about.

The winds picks up, your steps slow down. Armin is staring at your face, but it's not your eyes he's looking at. You smile and it brings him back to reality, he looks away, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

You offer to hold some of the heavy bags for him, he gives a warm smile. You think the faint color on his cheek is a really nice shade of pink, it looks lovely under the sun.

The more he took you with him on trips to the far away bookshop near the Riverside, the more you started to understand how a rearranging of words can pull him inside an entirely different world.

It was like he could be his true self when there, carefully reading the description at the back of the books. Frowning whenever he finds a review instead of a summary. you didn't mind tho, because it ment he'd have to read a few pages into the book and the shop had a nice corner couch you two would sit in.

He'd apologise for troubling you, you'd say he's never a bother for you that and reassure him that you enjoyed every last second.

Ah, there it is, that nice shade of pink again.   

 

-

In some way he managed to share his love for books with you, as you spend entire afternoons just sitting near each other. Your sketchbook in hand, the sound of your pencil lightly scratching the paper. Him next to you, his book in hand and reading just loud enough for you to hear.

You think he has a nice voice, so you say it out loud. For the rest of the evening, he stuttered through half the book.

You laugh at the funny moments together, be it a clever joke the author weaved in a serious moment or an incredibly redundant cliche trope that while predictable, was still as enticing.     

He would always look at you whenever you let a chuckle escape, staring just for a couple seconds longer than necessary.

That sketch ended up getting turned into a painting when Armin walked you home that day.

-

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!"

Blue glass shards are scattered on the table and floor, what remained of Armin's favourite mug. The puddle of coffee already sweeping into the canvas you left to dry there this morning.

It took you three days just for the layering.

It was a big canvas, cotton paper and natural wood. It cost a lot.

You know this feeling when you're so so broken about something that your brain just skips the denial and anger and jumps straight into depression? To say you were mad was an underestimated, and rightfully so.

Armin is trying to remove the coffee stains with the nearest towel he could find, it only smudges the paint more.

He looks terrfied.

"It was an accident I swear, I'd never..." his voice takes a higher pitch, hands shaking. "I'd never, ever mean to do this...I..." he hiccups, Voice quivering..

And just like that, all you anger fades away.

"Armin, hey" you take a step closer, carefully avoiding the broken glass.

He doesn't look at you, he's still desperate wiping the canvas. "I'll fix it, please I'll figure out a way."

The clutch he has on the towel only intensifies when you put your hand on his shoulder. "It's okay," you say "it's fine really, look at me."

And he does, with shame filled eyes. "No no no, it's not. I ruined it, your worked so hard on this and I just..." He looks down "it's NOT okay."

"Yes it is." You try to guide him away from the glass. "That's just a material object Armin, what's important is that you're okay."

He reluctantly follows, you both sit on the couch. His hands are clutching his knees. "I'm really sorry, it's okay if you want to yell at me you have the right to."

You cup his face in your hands, "don't say that, that's not true. It was an accident, I'd never ever yell at you."

Shock is clear in his eyes, his arms leave his knees to wrap around you, pulling you closer. His face buried in your shoulder. You stroke his back. Both of you stay like this for a long while, neither of you seems to want to let go.

At night, when he's getting ready to leave and go back home. You walk him to the door and he kisses your cheek as a goodbye.

the shade of pink you grew to love really goes along with his smile.

-

"Close your eyes and hold out your hand."

With the sparkle in his blue eyes and his hands hiding something behind his back, how could you say no.

So you do, and you feel his hand brushing against yours before a light weight is dropped on your palms. He gives you the okay so you open your eyes, an envelope.

It's cream white with a straw ribbon around it, it looks too good to open but you do anyway.

"Is that..." his smile grows as you pull out the card and paper inside, "a membership card."

"For the art course you've been saving up for! You seemed really excited when talking about it." He takes a step closer, tilting his head to the side as his blond hair brush against his neck. "Do you like it?"

"Armin I love it!" You're so happy that you don't dwell on it before pulling him into a hug, he eagrly hugs back and his hand lingers on you when you pull away. "But...isn't it too expensive ? How did you.."

His lips press into a thin line as he looks to the side, "don't worry about it, I've been also saving for a different reason."

Oh...yeah you know the reason, Eren’s been telling it to everyone after all. The three of them agreed to go on a trip overseas, even Mikasa seemed genuinely excited.

You look at him, you look at the envelope containing the art course of your dreams, you put the card back inside.

"I can't, " you hold it out for him, "you can still return this, they're very lean with their policies."

He doesn't take it. "Yes, yes you can. This isn't just because I feel bad for what i did, it's because..." he holds your hand in his, "because I want you to have it, you deserve the world and if i can I'd give it to you."

"But what about Mikasa and Eren, you know they've been looking forward for this."

"They'll understand that i can't come, and if they don't it's okay, they'll still enjoy it by themselves." He cups your face, looking at you like you're the only person in the world, "It's just a material thing after all, you aren't."

-

Armin likes to get out of his comfort zone evey once in a while, he likes to try new things no matter how intimidating they look.

Which is why, seeing him hesitantly entering the art classroom was not a surprise. His wide eyes switching their focuses between all the different objects in the room, from the canvas with a glaze shine on them, ready to get painted. Or the different shapes and sizes or brushes, the ones near the water jars looking softer than the rest.

You should've seen this coming, with Eren and Mikasa away on their trip, Armin has been hanging around you all the time. Not that you're complaining.

Looking at your still drying canvas, you quickly cleaned off your brush before using a towel to wipe your hands and elbows from paint stains.

"Armin," you said, amusement in your voice at seeing the blond out of his usual element. His curious eyes focus on you and he says a small hi with a wave.

You walk him through the basics, he nods while you explain the pros and cons of each paint type, what type of paintings it goes with and which techniques are the most common.      

After a couple minutes of him asking you to show him to use certain things and hold some brushes, he settles down for watercolors. You think it's adorably fitting.

While picking his brushes, you explain how in order to not damage the cotton papers, they have the softest hairs. To make your point, you take his arm in your hand and run a soft brush against his palm. He laughs softly saying it tickles, it's contagious and you're laughing too soon.

He picks the seat next to you, looking lost with the short brush in his hand and the already wet canvase. But it's a nice kind of lost, like the way a child would look at a new toy.

While he expriments at the corner of the canvas with different brushes and swipes the colors, other people start filling the room and soon enough everyone has taken their seats.

The instructer begans setting up today's study object, a couple of pink Camellias in a tinted turquoise vase, creating a nise color contrast.

You stare at them for a while, wondering where did you see that fimilar faint of pink. The question answers itself when Armin taps your shoulder and ask how to start layering the paint

-

It's around sunset when the two of you are walking together, he's talking about all the new things he never knew about art that he just discovered today. You're listening to him while nodding occasionally, it's when he stops mid-rant that you look at him.

"I just realised something" he says, before facing you.

"Oh? And what is it"

He looks at you, really looks at you. The sun is shining behind you as it says its last goodbyes for the day, making you look heavenly. "I realised that...I'm deeply in love with you"

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

What if... you are what we needed?

Corin keeps in the background when the kids are gathered, as usual, but his clever eyes are locked on Davarax and he’s hanging on his every word. Dulsissia can’t help but to smile at the sight of her son not only listening to what Davarax says, but how he says it, how he’s standing while he’s talking, his facial expressions, the gestures of his hands, everything. It’s like watching a baby bird imprinting in real time and Davarax being adorably oblivious to what is happening.

And Corin is not alone.

Din has begun to roll up the sleeves on his shirts like Davarax does, Barthor has adopted the same rest-head-in-hand-while-reading posture Davarax has, Paz suddenly decided to change his hairstyle into the very one Davarax has and Dulsissia had to send her embarrassed husband a pointed look when Raga had uttered some very salty and familiar curse words only yesterday.

But as cute and funny it is to watch Corin, it is also painful to see him desperately want Davarax’ attention but at the same time not dare to draw any attention to himself to get it. He will hover near him but with a skittish nervousness that Dulsissia knows comes from the years with Macero.

Macero had barely been present in the boy’s life, but whenever he was, Corin quickly learned that his father’s attention landing on him was rarely a good thing. Around Macero, it was best to be invisible. She’d tried to shield her son as best as she could, but it was impossible to block all of the cruel comments and mean remarks.

Today, Din, Raga and Barthor are going to head into town to pick up supplies, while she and Paz are set to do a complete check and cleaning of their weapons collection.

Corin is to accompany Davarax on some minor repairs on the Razor Crest and her soft heart aches with worry.

She’s not worried that Davarax will even think a harsh word in her son’s direction, but Dulsissia knows how anxious Corin will be with no buffer between him and Davarax. So she worries, but she also have faith in Davarax.

-

Carrying a large bag with equipment, Corin trails after Davarax, who has one in each hand and is leading the way to their ship.

Usually Din would be the first to volunteer when it is something related to the Razor Crest, but it was decided they all needed to learn about the ship and ships in general, so everyone has to take turns whenever some work needs to be done on it. Today is Corin’s turn and he’s more than a little nervous.

Corin knows he doesn’t have the knowledge that Din has about the ship and maybe Davarax thinks he does? There is no way this can end well…

When they arrive at the ship, to his utter relief, Corin is explained what they’re going to do, what the problem is and how to solve it, and in a way that actually makes sense despite him not being as smart as Din. And after getting a couple of easy tasks that he completes without any trouble, Corin starts to think it might not be such a horrible experience after all.

Especially after he’s finished switching a fuse and Davarax gives Corin’s shoulder an approving squeeze after he inspects the job.

The gesture brings a fierce burst of happiness inside his chest, it feels like he grows two inches taller, so Corin eagerly moves on to the next assignment given to him and then awaits Davarax’ verdict with a hammering heart.

Davarax reaches out, tugs gently at where Corin has attached the wire and makes a pleased sound when he finds it securely fastened. “Perfect. Good job. Keep this up and we’ll be done in no time.”

There is that fierce burst of happiness in his chest again. Corin nods.

Davarax absently twirls his welding gun when he looks at the next panel, considering what to do next, so Corin does the same thing with his wrench and feels incredibly cool.

They work together in the cargo hold for a while. Davarax opens panels, points and explains, then often steps back and lets Corin do the actual job, only offering advice or coming in to help when Corin meekly asks for it. It goes so well that Corin actually forgets to be afraid and just has fun.

“I need to head up into the cockpit and check out some data. You okay here? You got this?” Davarax asks while Corin is halfway into an open panel to try to reach some wires.

“Yup.” Corin replies, making a triumphant sound when he gets a hold of his prey. He hears the man walk away but he’s too busy focusing on doing a good job to get anxious over it. He can do this.

Turns out, he can. Corin fixes the problem with the wires, checks they are securely fastened before putting the panel up again and fastening it as well. When Davarax is not back by the time this is done, Corin simply moves on to the next panel.

Removing the bolts, he lowers the panel to the floor and Corin eyes the now revealed wires with a critical gaze. Yeah, there is rust and muck on them as well, so they definitely need changing too. He gets to it, eager to show Davarax that he can manage on his own.

He has just managed to loosen the wire at one end when Corin somehow manages to drop his wrench into the mess of wires below where he’s working. It must either tear something loose or connect something that shouldn’t be connected because only half a second after the wrench falls, there is a fierce crackling of electricity, sharp glimpses of light, and just as Corin makes a panicked grab for the wrench; flames jumps into existence and forces him to withdraw his hand with a pained cry.

Cradling his aching hand to his chest, Corin backs up to the opposite wall and stares with wide-eyed horror at what he has done.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…” Davarax slides down the ladder, lands on his feet with a heavy thump before trotting over to where there now is a thin line of smoke emerging from the wall. He grabs a small bottle of something that is hanging on the wall and he sprays the content on the fire that is quickly extinguished.

Tossing the bottle away, Davarax turns to look at Corin.

“I’m sorry!” Corin blurts out before Davarax can say anything. “I didn’t mean to-It was an accident and, and I’m sorry!” He heaves for air, struggling against tears. “I’m sorry!”

Davarax merely shakes his head and grabs Corin’s wrist to pull his hand out to inspect it. “Did you get burned?”

Corin yanks his hand free, cradling it protectively once more, backing away from him. He can’t even look at Davarax and has to stare at the floor. “Please, I’m sorry.” Why did Corin have to mess up everything? Davarax had been so nice to him and now Corin has angered him. He’d set fire to his ship! Davarax had to be furious. Everything is ruined because Corin can’t hold on to a kriffing wrench! Stupid, stupid, stupid! “I’m sorry!”

“Corin…” Davarax takes a step after him but stops when that makes Corin back up again.

“I’m sorry!” Corin shouts, really on the verge of crying now.

“Corin, it’s okay.” Davarax says.

Knowing how this will not only make the man angry with him, but also ruin his mother’s happiness as Davarax is bound to turns his bad mood her way as well, just like his father always did, Corin almost buckles under the weight of the guilt. “Please…” He whispers, agonized. “I didn’t mean to…”

“I know you didn’t mean to, Corin. I know it was an accident. Hey, come on, look at me.” Davarax’ voice is gentle. “Don’t worry. It was an accident.”

Corin dares to steal a peek up at Davarax and is surprised to see no trace of anger on his face. If anything, there is concern and… sadness? It gives Corin hope that maybe he can take the brunt of the anger and spare the others. “I’m still sorry. I’m sorry I set your ship on fire.”

Davarax nods and gestures towards one of the fold-down seats. “Could you just… take a seat? Let me look at that hand of yours? Please?”

Corin shuffles over and sits down, like a doomed man going to his execution. It’s difficult to breathe. If feels like someone is sitting on his chest.

Davarax crouches down in front of him and eases Corin’s hand into his to examine it. He hums at the sight of it. “No burns, that’s good. But you got awfully close.”

Corin stares at the floor and shrugs. Maybe if he’d been burned then that would have been punishment enough and Davarax would be pleased?

Sighing, Davarax pulls out a thin strip of a bandage from his belt and begins to wrap Corin’s hand. “Corin, listen to me. I need you to really listen to me. Okay?”

Corin glances up at him and when their eyes meet, he gives a faint nod. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to make up for what he did.

“I will never, and I do mean never, be angry with you over an accident.” Davarax fastens the bandage and gives his wrist a light pat. “You hear me? All I care about is that you’re okay.”

That… does not make sense to Corin. But he’s kind of afraid to anger Davarax further by asking what he means. So he merely nods and hopes that is good enough.

It clearly isn’t, but this time Davarax is the one to look down at the floor. “Was… Was your dad like that? Angry over things that wasn’t your fault?”

“It was my fault.” Corin whispers. It always was. Otherwise his father wouldn’t have been that angry with him, right? And his parents wouldn’t have been arguing so much if not for him.

Davarax shakes his head and sighs, still looking down. “I don’t think it was, Corin. Not then. Not now.” He pats Corin’s wrist again. “I don’t mean to speak ill of your dad, Corin, but he was a complicated man and he made mistakes too. Getting angry with you was a big mistake.” He finally looks back up to meet Corin’s eyes again. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, Corin. I promise.”

Tentative hope flutters in Corin’s chest as he hears how sincere that promise is. And Davarax really isn’t angry with him. He’s not. The relief makes Corin a little dizzy as well as giddy with joy.

“And you can always talk to me, you know? Tell me things. Ask me questions.” Davarax says.

Back on Seswenna, Corin learned the hard way to never ask his father any questions, but seeing how not even setting the ship on fire had caused Davarax to become angry, Corin does not hesitate to make a grab for the wealth of knowledge Davarax is offering him. There is one thing...

“Can you show me how to shave?” Corin blurts out in an eager rush. Ever since Paz started shaving, he has ‘complained’ every morning about the hassle of it. Corin suspects Paz only has about six strands on his chin and does it to rub in the fact that none of them have reached that stage yet. But, it would be cool to know how to, for when the day comes. He’s fairly sure not even Din knows how to shave.

Davarax bursts into a brief laugh at his question, but it doesn’t hurt as there is no trace of malice or mockery in it. He reaches out to pat Corin’s shoulder. “Absolutely. First thing tomorrow.”

Fire all forgotten, Corin grins and sits up a little straighter.

“Now, do you want to wait here while I do the rest of the repairs, or do you feel like going back to work? Your choice, Corin. Either option is fine.”

“I think I would like to go back to work. If that is okay…?” Corin says. “I promise I won’t drop the wrench again.”

“You got this, no problem.” Davarax reassures him. “And if you need a little help, I’ll be right here.”

-

Dulsissia is on her way back to the room where Paz sits half-asleep over the dismantled blasters, oiling each part meticulously and bored out of his mind, when she sees Davarax and her sweet boy returning from the ship.

There is an instant stab of worry as she sees the bandage of Corin’s hand, but that is quickly drowned out by relief and raw happiness as she sees her son march next to Davarax with a confidence she’s never seen before. He’s doing something close to a swagger! And he’s chattering away like he usually only does with Din.

It’s hard to believe it is the same boy who had looked at her with anxious eyes before following Davarax to do the repairs on the ship. Her son looks proud. He looks confident and happy and shining in the spotlight of Davarax’ attention.

That man had made her baby walk tall and she had thought she couldn’t love him any fiercer?

Wiping away a tear, Dulsissia heads to the room where Paz is currently lamenting his fate and decides to make this a memorable day for everyone. She hands the puzzled teenager some credits and tells him to bring Corin along, head into town, find the others and have fun. Dulsissia even grants them permission to try out the speeder-bike grounds as long as Paz promises to make sure nobody gets hurt. He nearly hurts himself eagerly nodding his promise.

The boys are out of the door and heading towards the town before Davarax is done washing his hands.

“Dulcy?” Davarax calls out, somewhat confused by seeing the dust in the boy’s wake, walking out of the refresher room while absently drying his hands on an old towel.

She grabs a hold of him when he walks by their room and yanks him inside, causing Davarax to drop the towel with a startled sound and stumble to regain his balance. The unexpectedness of it all makes it easy for her to push him lightly against the wall and crowd up against him with a smile. “I just sent the kids to find the others in town and gave them some credits to burn. We’re all alone, for once. You want to fool around?”

It’s not like her to be this direct and his face is a mix of surprise and fascination. “Uh, yes, please?”

Dulsissia takes a hold of his shoulders and jumps up to wrap her legs around his waist, which she knows will cause him to automatically reach out and take a hold of her hips to hold her up. He does. That frees her to lift one leg, get the bottom of her foot against the wall behind him and give it a firm push. Davarax makes another surprised sound as her act makes him stumble towards the bed with her. Oh, the sweet man... He has no idea what is about to hit him...

Later, while he’s lying on his back in bed, still trying to catch his breath with a slightly shell-shocked expression on his face, his body covered with nothing but sweat and a flimsy sheet, Davarax watches her as she gets up and puts on a robe.

“You have to be hungry after fixing the ship. I’ll get you something. You stay and rest and I’ll bring it here. I think we have more of those spicy noodles you like so much.” Dulsissia adjusts the robe and tightens the belt before heading for the door.

“Dulcy, wait…” Davarax eases himself up his elbows, looking hilariously dishevelled with his dark hair poking up at every angle. “What… what did I do? What did I do to be blessed with this?”

Dulsissia glances back at him with a grin before she merely slips out the door.

“Dulcy, tell me.” Davarax whines, but when there is no answer, she hears him flop back down and start mumbling to himself; “I gotta know so I can do it again. And again. And again.”

But Dulsissia knows she doesn’t have to tell him, because he will do it again and again anyway. Being an amazing father is in his nature and he will continue to bring out the best in those children without being motivated by anything but love.

Which is why they all, her included, love him.

[love-takes-work]

Very Cool Potluck

Did you know that some people are so dedicated to reproducing Steven Universe recipes that they’ll both put cheese puffs in their sushi AND willingly bring durian into their homes?

I will teach you the basics of how to prepare the Cool Kids’ Potluck and also tell you the story of how I got food poisoning.

(Sorry, Lars’ ube roll is not included, because it didn’t make it to the potluck. It is available as a separate recipe, of course.)

See more SU food tutorials!

I decided it was time to do the Cool Kids' POTLUCK!

STEVEN: (holds up Snack Sushi) "Who's feelin' lucky?"

SOUR CREAM: "I brought the soda."

JENNY: "I brought the pizza."

BUCK: "I brought the assorted fruit."

And Sadie brought paper plates to complete the set. Too bad Lars's Ube Roll couldn't join them! 

Okay, so we have a four-part meal. Most complicated of course is the sushi! We can assume it is Snack Sushi, which I have made before but didn't really give instructions. Steven explains pretty well but doesn't give you a sushi rice recipe. How about I just tackle this here and show you how?

Recipe 1: SNACK SUSHI

Ingredients:

11 1/2 ounces sushi rice

1 1/2 cups cold water

4 tablespoons rice vinegar

3 tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 package nori (seaweed sheets)

1 avocado

1 bag cheese puffs

Mayonnaise

Hot sauce

First, sushi rice is made a special way. I am no expert, but the way I do it has worked fine for sushi in the past. First you measure out your 11.5 ounces of rice and put it in a sieve, then wash thoroughly with tap water.

Put it in the pan you will cook it in, pour the 1.5 cups of cold water on, and let sit WITHOUT COOKING for 30 minutes.

When the soak time is up, turn on high and boil. As soon as it hits boil, turn to low, cover, and cook 15 minutes. Then turn off the heat and let steam in the pan for 10 more minutes. You now have fluffable, tasty, sticky steamed rice!

Next, make your vinegar concoction. Combine the vinegar, the sugar, and the salt in a small dish. Microwave it to dissolve the sugar. I did this in a few 20-second bursts. It smells strongly but I love that smell. Make sure when you stir it, there's no sugar on the bottom! It must be dissolved.

Pour the concoction over the hot rice and stir it in. You are ready to work with it!

From there, it is as Steven shows us in "Cooking With Lion."

• Put nori on a rolling mat, rough side up

• Spread sushi rice on the nori thinly

• Halve the avocado, remove pit, cut in slices and rub a spoon around the avocado flesh to dislodge it

• Place the avocado slices in a line on the rice

• Place a line of cheese puffs in a line next to the avocado

• Roll compactly, tucking as necessary to get it into roll shape

• Cut!

You'll also need to make "spicy mayo" for the garnish. Steven uses hot sauce and mayonnaise. Mix together and squirt neatly onto the top of each roll.

"Who's feelin' lucky?!"

And that's the recipe!

Tip:

Use rice shortly after cooking. Refrigerate it if you will not be eating it soon after. Guess who got food poisoning from eating old rice because of this? CAN YOU GUESS?? 🤢

Recipe 2: PIZZA

So I've made pizza from scratch half a dozen times already for this show. I'm not gonna do it again. (Here's my personal Fish Stew Pizza recipe.)

Jenny simply brings pizza from work! So I decided to go the easy route and purchase a commercial pizza this time.

We never actually see the pizza eaten. I will assume it's the default pepperoni pizza and add veggie pepperoni to mine.

Baking in the oven per box directions as I figure out pizza boxes!!

Jenny's got four dang boxes of pizza on that table. I'm sorry, but I will not be preparing four pizzas. I live by myself and am not actually having a real potluck here. I will use comic book boxes to provide the illusion of many pizzas even though I am only cooking one. Shhhhh.

I actually used paper cutouts and markers to design my own Fish Stew Pizza box!!

Done! Next!

Recipe 3: SODA

Another recipe where I don't really make anything. I am just dressing up a bottle of Diet Coke.

But at least I made it look like the soda Sour Cream brought (termed "So-Duh").

Recipe 4: ASSORTED FRUIT

Oh god.

Buck, you clown. 🤡🤡 You went and bought various pokey-skinned fruits and forced me to BRING A DURIAN INTO MY HOME.

Folks, do you have any idea what durian is?

Let's just say it's known as the King of Fruits and it is SMELLY. You can't look up anything about durian online without related news stories discussing areas where durian is BANNED, neighbors complaining if you bring durian home, and tips on getting the smell off your hands and out of your breath.

I've bought frozen durian before to make Durian Juice Boxes. It was bad enough frozen. But then I had to go buy a FRESH STANK MACHINE at the Asian Market.

The things I do for this friggin show

So we have pineapple.

We have dragonfruit.

And we have &%#!%@ durian.

Durian! People! Do you have any idea what my house smells like!!! And they put it in a bag like that because you can't pick it up without GETTING STABBED! god what am i doing

Anyway.

There, you happy?

Here is my beautiful POTLUCK.

Add paper plates because Sadie brought them and now Sour Cream is thrilled he doesn't have to do the dishes.

Also, I'm sure it wouldn't be all that much fun if you didn't get a quick lesson on how to eat the weird fruits, even though the Cool Kids did not cut into them. Right?

So after I recovered from food poisoning from that rice, I put down a plastic tablecloth on my outdoor porch table, gathered an assortment of knives and plates, grabbed some gloves, and prepared these fruits for eating.

Dragonfruit:

Cut in half. Cut further in quarters and eighths. Peel the fruit out of the husk and store.

Verdict: I don't like dragonfruit. It tasted like weird, hurty watery kiwi. Maybe you should know I'm allergic to kiwi. This is probably related. I shouldn't eat this.

Pineapple:

Cut the top and bottom off and discard (including the bush at the top). Slice the remainder completely in half. Cut the core out--you shouldn't eat it. Then slice each half and slice again into manageable strips. Cut lines in the fruit and cut them off into a storage container.

Verdict: I am allergic to pineapple so I didn't try it, but it smelled amazing. I saved it for my friend.

Durian:

All right, stank fruit, here we go.

Cut the stem off and flip the durian to stand on the top where you cut the stem off. Use pot holders to manipulate because otherwise IT WILL CUT YOU. Examine the durian's shape and see if you can figure out based on its bulges where the huge scary pods are inside. Make a cut through the very tough husk and pull it apart with your hands.

Pods will emerge. They are soft and delicate, so if you hold them too hard they'll break. Each contains HUGE seeds. Take the seeds out before eating. Go around the rest of the durian and get all the pods out. It's a scavenger hunt! Store.

Verdict: The smell is literally not any worse when you open it. It is a very thick, pervasive smell but to me it didn't smell like a rotting corpse or poop or anything.

But then I ate a little bit and the aftertaste was really dark and musty. Dip a butt in tropical fruit syrup. It was pretty vile. I swallowed it though, and my mouth was Very Unhappy. I do not like durian.

I guess I'm 0 for 3. My sushi made me sick because I left the rice out for hours, I can't eat any of my fruit, and I reused the pizza to make a damn Pizza Steve.

But at least my life is interesting while it's being a disaster, huh?

At least I can still drink my So-Duh.

See more SU food tutorials!

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Morning! I hope you don't mind if i give you yet another She-Ra thought I'm too damn lazy to post on my own. Also, it's long again. I WILL find that character limit some day.

So, we know the way Shadow Weaver raised Adora resulted, among other issues, in her being selfless to the point of self-sacrifice, which came to a climax in the Heart's failsafe business.

And it's been suggested that this was basically intentional on Shadow Weaver's part. Basically, selflessness is a very beneficial quality for others to have. My theory is that <b>her plan for Adora had always been specifically for her to someday use the failsafe and release all magic</b>.

(i will admit i am also curious how formatting works in this app. thank you for your help with these experiments)

So, evidence. Let's start with her name. I know this is a remake and they were stuck with the existing names, but there's a scene where Scorpia complains about it ("yeah i GET it, everyone LOVES you"), which constitutes the writers acknowledging its meaning, which makes me think it's fair game to analyze.

First, I'm obviously assuming Shadow Weaver choose it, as part of her ongoing parenting plan. It's also possible it was her original First One-given name, we don't know. Neither quite works because either she or Light Hope should have had some issues knowing what the name was and they clearly knew automatically. Really the entire series is weird in that everyone communicates with everyone else way too easily, and i will definitely rant about that someday.

For now let it stand that Shadow Weaver is the parent figure, it makes the most sense for her to pick the name, both in-universe and narratively, so i shall assume so by default. I have two things to say about that choice.

First, as we all have noticed, most of the princesses have names ending in -a. All of them, if you count "Glimma". It's never said to be intentional, but it would make sense. And then IF such a tradition exists among Etheria's royalty, it's not unreasonable for Shadow Weaver, a notable and moderately respected member of the land of knowledge, to know about it.

And then if she knew, of course she would take it into consideration when looking for names. Admittedly it's a little weird with the anti-Princess propaganda that the Horde has, but she doesn't really need to explain or justify this. Hordak has a very [i]laissez-faire[/i] attitude, and everyone else she clearly doesn't care about.

And if she knew or suspected that the princesses' powers were related to the Heart of Etheria, which i will argue for later, then giving her a princessy name is also adequately ironic.

The second name bit is that Scorpia clearly knows some Latin, but not enough. True, <em>adorare</em> means to worship and/or to love, but Latin verbs are more complex than that. _Adora_ specifically is 3rd person singular present indicative active. The translation would be "she loves".

Names aside, i want to talk about how they (we) learned about the Heart of Etheria. Castaspella doesn't know what to do, Shadow Weaver suggests they take a road trip to research, which she's reticent about but concedes is probably the best use of her time, and they find success. We don't know how long it took them, but i had the distinct impression that it wasn't very long.

Naturally, I'm suggesting Shadow Weaver knew all along, and led Castaspella on the trip to have an excuse for the inevitable "how do you know?". Also tricked her into thinking it was /her/ discovery, and maybe even that she was succeeding where Shadow Weaver had failed before, if necessary.

That's why she's so excited to share their results with everybody, and Shadow Weaver cuts her off, apparently just to antagonize her for fun, but I'm suggesting it was also because for her this is the culmination of a decades-long plan, and she wants to Get On With It.

It's also interesting that there was a mural depicting the Spell of Obtainment in the hallway leading to the failsafe. It was a reminder of Shadow Weaver's past, and an opportunity for her to show she regrets her results but doesn't repent from her choices, which i quite like actually. But I'm also saying that, meta-textually, it was a signal that she'd been there before, literally.

And then there is the potential in-universe connection, since we don't know what exactly the spell was meant to be obtaining. Power, for sure, and from what happened we're probably meant to assume it's tapping into some sort of demonic entity or dimension.

Fair enough, except that it never comes up again. And it's kind of a big plot point that Etheria is isolated from the rest of the cosmos, which may or may not conflict with it having a contactable "hell". Meanwhile there's the Heart of Etheria Project collecting all that magic, which Mara's allies (and their descendants) would know something about, have access to at least one backdoor to, and may well have tried to tap into its power at some point.

And then what went wrong may well be one of the defense mechanisms of the Project, though I'm admittedly veering into unfounded speculation.

So, a rough timeline. Light Spinner was always motivated to excel and craved power. She was probably always envied the princesses, who command greater magic than most sorcerers with apparently none of the study and practice.

She took to researching everything she could that might lead to power, eventually discovering the chamber with the failsafe, and presumably other information left by Mara's Friends, either in other chambers or in documents she's since removed. She would have learned a lot of things from this.

As i suggested, i believe she knew there's some connection between the princesses at large and the Heart of Etheria. Incidentally, i don't know exactly what that connection is, and in particular whether princesses were created by the Project or an existing phenomenon that the First Ones co-opted. But it doesn't matter, exactly.

What's important is that there's clearly a connection, more specifically a control system for the princesses and their magic, which is presumably related to how Shadow Weaver was able to tap into the Black Garnet's power. With Hordak's help, obviously, since she clearly believed it when he claimed he could cut her off at will, but he's later shown to have basically no understanding of First Ones' tech, so the knowledge must have come from her.

For the record, i would guess she thinks princesses are artificial, empowered both magically and politically to keep the planet in check, and that they would be depowered once the failsafe was fired. I also think that may be true, actually, since it almost happened when Entrapta was messing with the system, and if i recall none of them were shown to use any magic after Adora did fire it, while she clearly used Perfuma's power. But anyways!

Back to what Shadow Weaver learned, she would know some of what the failsafe does, namely disrupt the system that's hoarding most of the planet's magic, thereby spreading magic to all (most notably her), and some of how to use it, and the fact that she couldn't do so and hope to live, and some of the criteria for who can. That part is important.

But first, she also learned the Spell of Obtainment, deemed it more likely but didn't think she could do it herself, despaired of getting help until she thought Hordak's rise to fame would give her #casus belli#, lost her patience when the Mystacor leadership disagreed, etc etc etc. Pretty uncontroversial in this part, i think.

After she'd joined the Horde, when Hordak showed up with baby Adora and wanted to lump her with the rest of the orphans they have, Shadow Weaver pleaded to have her get special treatment. She even said that she's special, and it couldn't have been her leadership skills or good heart, since she didn't have either yet. It's heavily implied she could recognize her as a First One, but it's not clear why she would care, since they were known for leaving behind advanced technology, which a baby also doesn't have. Unless, of course, she knew there are devices only a First One could use, and maybe has plans related to that.

So I'm pretty sure she learned the criteria that the failsafe requires, devised some spell or technique to check people for them that she pretty much used all the time, just in case, and was very surprised when a newborn tested positive. She was also surprised when Hordak made her personally responsible for the raising of the kid, but her reaction is pretty much "ok, that could work, i guess".

Also also, i suspect she can read First One script. Not perfectly like Adora, but better than Bow's parents probably. Mostly because when she puts Adora's hand on the crystal and says "i think you know the password", that seems like a very transparent attempt to pretend she knows it too when she doesn't. But that seems irresponsible at such a crucial moment, she and Castaspella should really have researched it earlier. Or at least her line there should have been "you can read this, right?" or somesuch.

So I'm thinking it's a double bluff, hoping everybody assumes she doesn't know so she doesn't have to reveal how and why she knows, again.

And that's all i have, i think? This is not nearly as well laid out as i would like. But then, nothing ever is, right?

Also it's not even close to morning anymore. Thank you if you even got this far, and have a good evening!

hi!!! this took me a while to answer, i'm so sorry about that <3

i'm very low on energy today so i cannot summon up the brain energy to respond properly to this, as much as i want to, i'm really sorry for that as well

i love this theory!! it actually fits in really well with canon and makes, like, a LOT of sense now that i think about it. i definitely wouldn't have thought of this on my own, so thank you for sharing this with me!! :D

[professionalsimpfor2dboys]

“Mammon’s Scenting” Obey Me Fluff + Smut #2

Mammon x Female! MC

Introduction: MC goes to school after being scented by all seven of the brothers and is sad to see everyone avoiding her like the demon plague, but a particular set of four demons don’t let it deter them. What will the seven avatars do about these determined demons vying for their human’s claim? Mammon might just have to claim her for good ;)

Warnings: breeding, both rough and passionate vaginal sex, scenting, claiming, fingering, hand-job, overall very dirty and very long

When MC woke the next morning, she groaned at the array of hickeys all over her upper half that were impossible to cover up. The brothers had suspiciously woken up earlier than usual and were giddy to take her to school for obvious reasons. Constantly covering her with oh so innocent touches and vying for her attention, it was as if last night caused the dam that was holding back all of their restrained affection to be destroyed.

Trying her best to keep her RAD uniform’s collar hiked up to at least deter some of the view, she couldn’t help but pout at how obviously the students avoided her. They would all do the same action, first they would sniff at the air before promptly turning to where the scent was coming from, which was obviously her. At that point they’d realize the smell was an intermingled scent of all seven avatars and would book it in the opposite direction of wherever she was standing. Wherever she went at least two of the brothers would follow and the two who were with her as she walked to the only class she was alone in was Belphie and Beel.

When they arrived at the classroom, she tried her best to quickly usher them away but Belphie suddenly began to sniff at the air before a glare settled on his face, which was mirrored by Beel as he raised a furrowed eyebrow. “So, those lowly demons are in here, huh? Which ones? I wanna have a talk with them,” Belphie sneered, surprisingly quick to jump out of his usual sleepy state. He tried to make his way into the class but was met with MC’s hand to his chest.

“Nuh uh, you are not starting a ruckus in here, Lucifer would be pissed,” she told him off as he looked over her head to scan any suspicious demons looking their way.

“I feel as if Lucifer would actually be on my side. He’s the avatar of pride, we know he doesn’t like it when someone tries anything with you,” Belphie replied with a smug smile. She couldn’t argue with that. Beel stopped Belphie’s attempts with a hand on the shoulder and shook his head.

“It’ll be fine. No demon would be stupid enough to try anything when she smells like us,” Beel assured, before pulling Belphie out the doorway. “We’re gonna be late to class if we keep this up. Bye, MC! I think Mammon is gonna be picking you up afterward,” he informed with a wave as he dragged his twin away. Letting loose a sigh of relief, she sat in her seat and avoided the nervous glances of her classmates. Could this school day just be over with already?

-

The class passed by with no special happenings and she was now waiting for the bell to finally signal the end of school. Going back to her hunched and reclusive ways, she tapped aimlessly on her desk slightly wishing that she could make some more friends down here but that idea was likely thrown completely out the window because of her possessive demon roommates. She’d sometimes try sniffing at her neck to see just what the others were getting a whiff of but she didn’t smell anything in particular.

“Heyo, MC! How’s it going?” A voice greeted causing her to look up and see the four demons from before, one of which was being pulled reluctantly.

“O-oh, hi!” She replied, surprised that they were talking to her.

“I see our scenting was replaced! Kinda expected that with how territorial those student council members can get!” The tallest laughed as he draped an arm on top of the shy one’s head.

“I’m sorry, I just realized I never asked for your names,” MC stated, smiling at how they seemed to be overall comfortable around her.

“Ah, right! Well, I’m Kuro,” the black-eyed demon introduced himself. “We call that tall, loud-mouthed red-head Tengu,” he continued as the latter gave her some finger guns. “The shortie’s name is Zepar, he likes to cause mischief with love so I’d be wary of him,” he whispered the end half-jokingly.

“Hey! Shut your trap!” Zepar yelped out.

“Oh and that leaves our shy boy, Saleos. Him and Zepar are related. He’s a softie for a demon,” Kuro shrugged.

“I-I like to call myself a pacifist, thank you!” Saleos defended, slightly pushing his black hair to the side.

She giggled at their varying personalities. “Well, it’s nice to meet you guys. You’re the first who haven’t ran in my opposite direction today,” she stated.

“Yeah, only idiots wouldn’t run away after getting a whiff of all seven of the highest ranking demons on ya,” Tengu replied, nodding his head. “Lucky for you, we’re pretty dumb,” he laughed.

“Satan told me that there was more to scenting than you let on, care to explain that?” She asked with a teasing raise of her brow. All of them shuffled in an embarrassed manner before Kuro spoke up.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Zepar likes to leave things out for his benefit and we were too excited,” he apologized, bowing as he did so.

“Aye, no harm was done so it’s fine! Those seven still claimed her nonetheless,” Zepar huffed out, crossing his arms and facing the other way.

“W-we’d be asking for a death wish if we tried scenting on you again b-but I hope...I hope...I hope we can still be friends!” Saleos blurted out, scrunching up his eyes to brace himself for rejection.

MC giggled happily. Of course her seven demons held a special place in her heart and on her body because of their pact marks but she was glad to have some friends in the Devildom. “I’d like that!”

They all continued conversing happily to the extent that they didn’t hear the bell when it rang. They were the only ones left in the classroom when Mammon arrived. When he first saw them circled around his human he wanted to snap and started charging in to rip them to shreds, but stopped when he saw her laugh. It made his chest burn with jealousy that she was laughing with others but he also saw how happy she looked. Recalling when she told him how excited she was to make friends in the past, he couldn’t help but sigh and hang his head. Mammon promised to himself he wouldn’t do anything rash to the four lowly demons but he still couldn’t help but see red and transform into his demon form when she brushed one of the demon’s hair to the side.

“Oi!” Mammon yelled out, getting to her small figure in lightning speed as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her away with a death glare to the four. He continued to drag her away and into the garden where no prying eyes could see her before lifting her up bridal style.

“Mammon! W-what are you doing-“ she cut herself off with a squeak when Mammon jumped and flew into the air with a flap of his wings, bee lining it to the House of Lamentation.

“What does it look like? Taking ya home!” He grunted out as he swooped down towards the house as she clutched onto him tighter and scrunched her eyes closed. Landing on his feet easily, he didn’t put her down and continued to carry her inside and into her room. At this point she was purposefully struggling in his arms.

“Mammon, let me down!” She commanded, accidentally using the pact to get him to obey. He went stiff and dropped her on the bed suddenly, causing her to let out an “oof” at the impact.

“Oi! Be careful when ya use that thing! You’re lucky I already had ya over the bed!” He scolded, running a hand through his hair in a stressed manner while transforming out of his demon form.

“You didn’t have to drag me out the classroom and all the way here, Mammon! I was finally making new friends but you and your brothers just had to ruin that for me! What is wrong with you guys?” She yelled.

“We do it for you!” He burst out. “None of us would know what to do with ourselves if you got hurt! The seven most powerful demons and we can’t protect one human? Especially me, alright? I’m the second most powerful and yet I still feel like I’m lacking for you...I’d go insane if anything happened to you, MC,” he trailed off towards the end as he sat on the edge of her bed with his head in his hands. She went quiet at his outburst, realizing he was crying when she heard small sniffles.

Scooting closer to him, she removed his hands from his heads and tipped his face towards her. Putting both hands on his face, she used her thumbs to wipe off stray tears. “Mammon, you’re not lacking, okay? You’re the most protective of me, the one who’s always there beside me, and my best friend. You’re my first, alright Mammoney?” She assured, looking him in the eyes as she gave him a soft smile.

He looked at her with widened eyes as his cheeks reddened at her words, his eyes darted to her lips which caused her breath to hitch. Slowly leaning forwards, he stopped right at her lips and looked her in the eyes for approval which she shakily nodded at. Before their lips touched, Mammon closed his eyes and whispered: “I-I love you, MC,” before catching her lips with his. They passionately kissed, not much time passing before Mammon swiped his tongue across her lips for entrance which she obliged to as they entangled with one another. Their hands seeking out each other, her hands dipping underneath his shirt as he gasped at the temperature difference while he pushed her down on to the bed. Running his hands down her curves as he took it upon himself to give her new hickeys on her neck where the old ones were at. She tugged his shirt over his head, in need to see his body as she gave him hickeys of her own on his shoulders. He moaned into her mouth when she cupped his erection through his pants causing him to pull off her shirt and unclasp her bra before throwing everything aside. He looked at her flushed figure below him, soaking in her beauty as she looked at him with lewdly lidded eyelids. “I want to fully scent on you. Can I make love to you, my angel?” He whispered against her breasts as he went to work on sucking and nibbling at them. She nodded hurriedly.

He cupped and squeezed at her breasts, groaning just at the feeling of her underneath him. MC made a noise as she tugged at his pants along with her own, signaling that she wanted them off which he complied to quickly. Leaving them only in their underwear and making the tent in his boxers more apparent. He grinded against her damp underwear, a wet spot from his precum forming on his boxers at the feeling as they both moaned out. Gasping when she suddenly pulled down his boxers to let his cock spring free, he pulled her panties off her in one swift movement. Pure pleasure surged through them both just by seeing each other’s aroused parts. Mammon used two fingers to spread her in order to see how wet she was for him as he used his other hand to push her legs further apart. “Fuck, you’re so pretty down here too,” he cursed before automatically pumping two fingers into her which she let loose a cry at. He groaned as he felt her sucking in and clamping down on his fingers, relishing in the feeling before letting out a choked moan when she began running her hand up and down his shaft. “Shit, stop. I’m going to cum if you do that,” he threw his head back whenever she squeezed a bit harder on the head of his dick, knowing it was more sensitive there.

“A-Ah, I’m gonna cum too,” She moaned, grinding against his fingers as she rubbed her clit for release. The next thing they knew they were both cumming, her all over his fingers while he released all over her chest and stomach. The sight of her messed up hair, flushed face, and his cum all over her causing him to harden again. He sucked her essence off his two fingers with a pop sound as he moaned at the taste. “P-please, I’m ready for you, Mammon,” she pleaded before he positioned the head of his cock at her entrance before thrusting in with a loud groan. She threw her head back at the feeling of her walls being stretched, his length almost reaching her stomach.

“Fffuck, you’re so tight, baby. It’s like you’re tryna’ milk me dry,” he groaned as he held still on top of her, dipping down to give her a passionate kiss. “Can I move?” He asked softly, peppering her face with sloppy kisses as she nodded. He began to thrust into her, groans and growls leaking out his mouth while high-pitched moans and breaths came out hers.

“You feel so good, Mammon! You’re so big!” She praised which made him pound into her faster, making her lose her mind.

With every deep and passionate thrust, he chanted over and over. “I love you, I love you, I love you, fuuck, I love you, baby,” before kissing her yet again. His words making her tighten around him, causing a string of curses to spill out his mouth as he transformed back into his demon form from how haywire his emotions were. “I’m gonna cum, okay baby? I’m gonna cum in your tight pussy and you’re gonna take it all, okay?” He growled, biting her shoulder as she threw her head back.

“Yes, yes, Mammon! Cum inside of me!” She moaned as she reached her high. Her eyes rolling back as she convulsed from how powerful it was, clamping down hard on his dick resulting in him teetering off the edge. He let loose a long high-pitched and loud moan as he released his seed inside of her, continuing to thrust to let it all out. He filled her up so much that his seed began leaking down her inner thighs mixed with hers.

Eventually coming to a stop, he pulled out and collapsed on top of her and lovingly kissed her, Mammon pulling away to rub his neck against hers nonstop. “I love you too, Mammon,” she sighed out, tired after that excursion. Surrounding them with his wings, he cuddled closer to her, not wanting any part of him not touching her as he reveled in her presence. After fully scenting, it’s as if an unknown barrier is broken down and it leaves the scenter very clingy and attached to the scentee hence why Mammon pulled her into the crook of his neck possessively and growled when he heard multiple knocks on the door.

“Mammon! Open up!” Levi’s voice yelled out followed by more bangs.

“We know you’re in there, you dog! We can smell your scenting from all over the house!” Belphie’s voice followed.

“I can’t believe you got to her first! You scummy demon!” Asmo whined. Their voices drifted away as MC’s eyes fluttered closed and she further snuggled into Mammon’s protective hold.

“Go ahead and sleep, babe, I’ve got ya,” Mammon whispered and that’s what she did, deciding on facing the consequences tomorrow.

Eek, I literally feel bad about writing smut about Mammon I don’t think I can anymore bc hes my baby 🥺 but yeah, this was I guess more passionate than my past smuts I’ve written! Oh and I think I’ve already decided on who’s next ;)

Anyway, my requests are open and dry as a desert so I hope y’all can stop in & request what you guys want! My rules are pinned on my blog & are pretty lenient! 🍓

[datleggy]

I need both of your “surprise Buck was/is pregnant with Eddie’s baby and they find out because Chris finds him” anons to finish their drabbles. I need the Buddie confrontation scene with all the angst and betrayal from both sides. (Meanwhile Chris happily keeps his baby brother occupied and whispers about how he’s gonna parent trap their dads.) Please and thank you.

he anon sent more and here it is! it's wonderful, pls read!! <3

ANON: As the anon who your last ask was talking about might I just say I am sobbiiiinnnnnggggggg 😭😭😭 that was so good omg but ALSO now I have an addition to my earlier blurb 👀👀👀

Eddie is frantic, from the moment Buck called to now. Let's rewind a bit though, for context.

After running into Buck in Austin, they did meet up, without Chris, to talk. Buck had Eddie meet him at his new fire house, which. Hurt? It hurt, in a weird way that Eddie couldn't quite place at first, but he realizes now what he was feeling; jealousy that Buck has moved on and seems so comfortable here, longing for Buck to return to them, to the 118 (if he's being honest though, it's him he wants Buck to return to more than anything, but that's hardly fair after everything), regret that he treated Buck so poorly that the other man not only felt he couldn't tell him about the baby, but that he felt he had to move states.

Eddie met him there regardless, though, because ultimately it was Buck's choice. Eddie was grateful Buck chose to talk to him at all, so he wasn't going to argue over the chosen venue.

They met up, and they talked, and Buck confirmed that the baby he was carrying was Eddie's. He was in shock at the confession, upset for the first few moments, even. And it showed on his face, because the next thing Eddie knew, Buck was backing away from him, arms crossed over his stomach and tears running down his face, begging Eddie not to try and take his baby from him.

"I know I shouldn't have ke-kept this from y-you, but Eddie pl-please! He's all I h-ha-have left, I won't make it if you t-take h-him!" Eddie was shocked, and horrified at Buck's words. It took him a few minutes to calm him down, and weeks of slowly increased communication between the two of them (and Christopher, of course) before Eddie was able to convince Buck that he wasn't planning on trying to gain custody of the baby. He had explained that, yes, he wanted to be in their son's life, wanted Chris to be in his brother's life, but he wouldn't do anything to hurt Buck anymore then he already has.

It took almost the remainder of the pregnancy, but they were finally close to where they had been before everything went to shit. Not that they were lovers again, Eddie doesn't think either of them are ready for that, and Buck agrees, but they were on the fast track to becoming best friends again.

So of course he's the first person Buck calls when he goes into labor.

"I'm sorry, you're what?"

"In labor," Buck says sheepishly over the phone. "Or at least, I think I am? I mean, I'm three days overdue so I doubt these are practice contractions, but I guess there's always the possibility, and oh my god if I called you at 3 in the morning because of practice contractions, Eddie, I am so sorry oh god--" he can hear Buck working himself into a panic attack, so he cuts in.

"Hey hey, none of that. Even if these are Braxton Hicks or whatever they're called, I'm glad you called me. We agreed we would be in this together, right?" There's a pause on the other line before Buck speaks.

"Yeah. Together."

Eddie smiles at the soft tone of Buck's voice, and he can picture him perfectly in his mind's eye as though he were there in front of Eddie. Sitting at the end of his bed, both hands framing his belly (which has gotten big since the first time they ran into each other three months ago, the doctors estimating that the baby is somewhere between 8 and 9 pounds, which Buck was Not Pleased to hear, and blames Eddie for, especially when he found out that Chris was nearly 8 pounds when he had been born), and tears in his eyes despite the smile on his face at the prospect of meeting their baby soon.

Eddie takes a deep breath to steady his own racing heart and asks "So, what do you want to do?"

"Huh?"

Eddie can't help the breathless laugh that leaves him, every passing moment feeling more and more surreal as he realizes that /this is happening/. He's going to be a father for a second time, he and Buck are having a baby together and they're going to meet him soon.

"Do you want me with you, Buck? Because I can leave now, fly down there and be with you when he's born. Or we can stay on the phone, or you can FaceTime me. Whatever you wanna do, babe." The endearment leaves his mouth before he can stop it, but he doesn't try to back track.

"I--" Buck cuts himself off with a cry, more surprised then in pain, but Eddie still hates the sound. He starts to wonder, if Buck wants him there, will Eddie even be able to face seeing him in that amount of pain? He'll do it, of course he will, he would do anything for Buck and their boys, but god it might just break him. This isn't about Eddie, though.

"Breathe, baby. Deep breaths, just like in those classes TK took you to." Everytime he and Buck talk, the other man has stories either related to the baby, or related to his new family. Sometimes even both, like when he told Eddie about the Lamaze classes Buck's friend TK took him to, highly recommended from when TK went himself with his boyfriend Carlos leading up to their son being born. Eddie couldn't help but feel that ugly, burning jealousy, but he tried to sound as happy as possible over the phone. Buck wouldn't appreciate the jealousy, since Eddie lost out on what they could have been thanks to his own anger and mistreatment of Buck.

A few moments pass before Buck comes back on. "That hurt," he says with a small, pained laugh. Eddie can't tell if he wants to cry, punch something, or both, but he tamps those feelings down.

"I know, I know. But you've got this, Buck. You're gonna kick labor's ass, right?"

"Right," Buck responds weakly.

"Damn right, right. You're so strong, Buck. There isn't anything you can't do, and nothing you won't do for your kids. You've got this." He hears Buck take a deep breath, steeling himself.

"Yeah... yeah! I've got this. I've got this!" That golden retriever enthusiasm is back in full force, and Eddie grins.

Buck announces that he's going to start packing some stuff and getting his things together, so Eddie will be in speaker phone. For the next few minutes, Eddie listens to Buck ramble off random facts about babies and labor between verbalizing his hospital bag checklist. He hums in the appropriate places to show he's listening, asks clarifying questions so Buck knows Eddie isn't bored or just humoring him. Before too long, Eddie can tell that Buck has picked the phone back up, removing it from speaker phone.

"Hey, Eds?" His voice is quieter, more subdued then it has been for most of their time in the phone.

"Yeah, Buck?" His own voice is soft, curious but undemanding.

"I-- you said, earlier, that you would-would come down, if that's what I wanted? Like, to be here when the baby is born." Eddie feels his heart start to race in his chest, not sure if he's eager to hear Buck's decision or dreading it.

"I did," he confirms anyway, wanting Buck's comfort more than anything else.

"... Is that offer still on the table? You coming down here, I mean." Eddie can feel his breath catch in his chest, and he realizes that, yeah, he was eager to know what Buck wanted him to do. He feels like jumping into the air and cheering, knowing Buck wants him by his side as he delivers their baby boy into the world.

"I can leave in ten minutes, and be with you in four, five hours at the most." His response is almost immediate, and Buck laughs on the other end of the line. "Is that what you want, Buck? Me to be there, with you?" Eddie hears a sniffle and he knows Buck is in the verge of crying.

"I-- is that alright? I don't-- I can't do this alone, Eddie. I know I have everyone from the 126 here, and all of them would sit with me through this in a heartbeat, but... I need it to be you that's here with me. I want you to be here when our son is born, want you to cut the cord, be one of the first to hold him, all of it. I... I need /you/." And how could Eddie ever say no to that?

"Give me a few minutes to pack a bag and make some calls, okay? I'll call you right back, and before you know it, I'll be right beside you, holding your hand and letting you break as many fingers as you want." Buck gives a wet chuckle and agrees, but both men have a hard time saying goodbye, even if it will only be for a few minutes.

"I'll see you soon, Buck, okay? I swear."

"Yeah, I know you will, I know. I'm just nervous, is all. Having you here, even just over the phone, it helps. So much, Eddie." He knows what he means. Hearing Buck's cheerful voice after a long day never fails to make Eddie feel better, make him feel that no matter what, everything will be alright. He can only imagine how much better things will feel for the both of them once they can actually see each other, touch each other.

"I know exactly what you mean. I'll be there soon, okay? I'll call you back in a second and you can tell me more statistics about babies born in cars, or whatever." Buck snorts a laugh and Eddie smiles at the sound.

"I swear to God if you jinx this and I end up giving birth on the highway, I will kill you." They laugh together, but Eddie knows now that he has to get things in order if he wants to be with Buck ASAP. Neither man wants to say goodbye.

"I'll be with you soon, Evan."

"Yeah, okay. Eddie, I-I..." Eddie waits patiently for whatever Buck was going to say. His heart hammers in his chest.

"... Be safe, Eddie." He can't help the bitter feeling of disappointment that floods through him, but he returns the sentiment, regardless.

They hang up, and for a moment, Eddie simply sits on his bed, head in his hands. All he wanted to do as they said their goodbyes was to tell Buck that he loved him. He doesn't feel like he's earned the right to say that to him yet, though. He has to earn it.

With that in mind, he starts packing a bag, calling Hen to see if she and Karen would be able to babysit Chris while Eddie is in Texas.

Dhdhjajsiejsj so sorry about that again, hope you enjoy (and thanks again to that person who sent that other ask, bc that was an amazing blurb they sent 😌) 😭😭😭