#also sorry for including Ur So Gay but is that not very specifically what i had asked for...

[lyril]

ok here's what i got so far. specific type of annoying guy playlist activate

i am now starting a playlist themed around "kind of cheeky song about or from the perspective of a pretentious douchebag and/or pseudointellectual you've met with an air of satire" let me know if you know any songs that would fit on there

[thecoolerliauditore]

What I pictured. Audience at home can place their favourite Scott moments on the Scott Smajor political compass chart

im so sorry i got this in my inbox and chuckled really hard and knew i wanted to try and do this properly but that ended up being harder than i thought it would be actually. this is so awesome i had to draw my own little scott 👍 and 👎 to be friends with urs.

behaving out of line - thought process here is that scott obvs doesn't like it when his male or female allies go out of line. i tried to put it a little closer to 🚫WOMEN🚫 because I do think he reacts more when Pearl does it vs Impulse or Martyn but he also is too scared of Gem to question her so I think it balances out a bit. the absolute craving of control overrides the internalized patriarchal mindset.

showing vulnerability - extends to shows of "weakness", specifically scott historically looks down on men who rely on their teammates, such as Jimmy with himself or Bdubs with Pearl in SL. women can show vulnerability but if said vulnerability is in contradiction to one of his stronger beliefs he will override it i.e. with Pearl who doesn't exactly do it in the most palatable way.

emotional support and validation - scott cares much more deeply for womens opinions on him and will go to them first for validation, cleo is the most obvious example but him constantly fishing for forgiveness from pearl is very similar, as is him appealing to gem at every given opportunity. jimmy is the only man he chases for validation from but to me that rings more true for validation of their romance than his actual emotions.

killing myself for - fairly self-explanatory.

sexualisation - also fair self-explanatory. usually tagged on with a haha jk

being my ally and winning a season -despite the whole "girls and the gays" reputation he has, Scott has teamed with just as many men as women and clearly is not against his male allies springboarding off of him like Martyn does in LimL. He does, however, tend to favour female allies when it comes to trying to make them win (i.e. see: his interactions with Gem vs Impulse in SL)

self sacrifice* - this one's a bit tricky but as mentioned in the vulnerability section Scott seems to be of the mindset that men should sacrifice themselves for women and not the other way around. Bdubs and Pearl being the key example here but also Gem and the Scotts' whole dynamic. His attitude towards the Nosey Neighbours is a bit harder to talk about but it's fairly clear that he Does Not Like Them. This might also tie in to his whole thing with Pearl and not acknowledging the sacrifices she made for him during LL.

being my object of desire - yeah duh. jimmy yes but scott is very open with flirting with men, including etho in the latest episode. women can be attractive but they can't be attractive specifically To Him.

[rulerzreachf4n7]

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE THOSE ANNOYING ASS PARENTS (SPECIFICALLY CHRISTIAN ONES, no offense to y'all, just learn TO FUCKING MIND UR BUSINESS AND USE COMMON SENSE) SAYING AND YAPPING ABOUT "erm guys, you uhm, shouldn't take ur kids to watch inside out 2 🤓👆" LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP KAREN AND LISTEN TO MY DAMN REASONS NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT

Reason number one- you're five year olds aren't the targated demographic for this movie

Yes come at me all you fucking want but this isn't like the first movie where it's much more innocent and doesn't handle heavy topics like having an anxiety attack and puberty, I'm sorry Karen but you're two six year old kids won't be needing to learn about what puberty is, TRUST ME THAT IS GOING TO SAVED FOR ANOTHER TIME, and it was obvious this movie is targated for teens, especially the ones born in 2010 cause like half of y'all (including me) are 12/13 years old already, and just because it's a Pixar film doesn't mean it can't be mature it was definitely not targated for people under puberty

Reason number two- take a fucking hint and stop being homophobic

Personally me, RILEY X VAL IS A HILL I AM WILLING TO DIE ON, I WILL DEFEND THAT SHIP LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, but from a more...different view...just because two girls are interacting and holding hands DOES NOT FUCKING MEAN THEY'RE DATING TAKE A FUCKING HINT YOU TRUMP SUPPORTER, sure Riley x val may not be canon due to obvious homophobic people complaining, and a kinda underrated one where people think the age gap is too big given that Riley is a freshman but I think Val might be a sophomore? Not sure it's never like mentioned but calling val a super senior is fucking weeeird bro, and also Disney is a SHIT at writing gay couples and probably would stereotype them is more to add of how bad it'll make them look

Number three- surprisingly there's racism???

Not really a big one but I've heard some people complaining about Val's hockey team, saying it's "too diverse"...BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN " TOO DIVERSE " YOU WANT EVERYONE TO BE AS WHITE AS RILEY??? not much to speak on here but it truly is infuriating

Number four- Riley's belief system makes her a bad person??

Another small one but still very annoying people complaining that Riley's not a good person and has a bad belief system but even though she considers herself a good person but makes mistakes it doesn't matter because God isn't in it and that alone apparently makes her a bad person...SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M ALL FOR RESPECTING RELIGIONS BUT THE PEOPLE I HATE MOST ON EARTH ARE FUCKING CHRISTIANS LIKE TAKE A FUCKING HINT WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR??? SHIT WENT OUT THE WINDOW SINCE ADAM AND EVE SINNED

And number five- peoples ever decreasing media literacy

Every since the movie came out people have been complaining over Anxiety and saying she's "the villain"...im going to take your hand while I'm saying this...DO Y'ALL NOT KNOW WHAT FUCKING ANXIETY IS SHE LITERALLY EXPLAINS IT HER FUCKING SELF WHEN SHE'S FIRST INTRODUCED YOU DUMB BITCHES, " B-But she made Riley have a panic attack🥺🥺 " first of all It's an ANXIETY ATTACK second, people were saying "w-why was anxiety making Riley over think and worry so much? 🥺🥺" TAKE A LONG WILD GUESS IT'S IN HER FUCKING NAME, I'm convinced people who went to watch it, saw thirty minutes of it then left cause they didn't even know what anxiety is and what it causes, half of the people watching don't understand anxiety's motives CAUSE Y'ALL HAVE NEVER HAD ANXIETY, coming from someone who has anxiety and social anxiety I get where she's coming from (and maybe secretly rooting for her at the end, like fr let her cook) and y'all wouldn't have acted like this in the first movie cause everyone HAS experienced sadness, everyone HAS HAD sad moments so it's no difference with anxiety, except this time only a certain amount of people will get it

Also am I the only but I fucking HATED Riley's friends like they were SO GODDAMN ANNOYING 💀💀

[cryptidcryptic]

Oc smash or pass❤️‍🔥

Welcome all to this weeks episode of the bachelor, thank you for the tag ecer wonderful @zekeen you absolute MASTERPIECE 😤❤️‍🔥

Rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

Bo (Botany)

Quick facts:

Height: fluctuates but usually like 5’ 9 - 6’ 4

Age: unknown (around late 20-ish)

Gender: N/A

Pronouns: zero preference

Sexuality: pan

Pro:

Rugged mountain creature ala huntsmen type 😘

Cooking is absolutely top notch, fully trained to make you a five star vegan (with animal free ‘mystery meat’ alternatives to boot) dish (AND un-lethal levels of poison included too aren’t you lucky?🫣)

Ride or die, once you’ve earned them, you’re keeping them forever son for better or worse they’d stick by all your decisions bad or good. Ever had someone look at you like you’re both heaven and earth mixed in one tantalising packet?

The sex of their bubblegum body switches after every wildshape so if variety is your spice of life Bo’s your meal

A hard nut to crack but the meat inside is worth the patience

Has a verry dark and seemingly random sence of humour, great for easing tension

Is a very passionate wild person in every aspect, relationships, sex, cooking, everything Bo does has this energy, so you’ll always be adored. Loved with all the fire a devoted zealot can muster.

Cons

Memory is a leaky sink after the brain injury, would and has already forgotten half their name.

A wolf like personality. Once you overstep lines you’re out, verry small tolerance for people.

Easily irritable especially with none tieflings

A creature of very few words, will be listening to the things you say but will look uninterested (resting bitch face is a hell of a drug). Will not tell you what they’re thinking (if not a Tiefling) and might just blame you for not mind reading.

Bo is a feral, disgusting creature that’s always a hair’s width away from being a straight up animal. In mannerism and literally. Equally always a hairs width from looking uncanny valley at every opportunity. If you’re up for the incredibly creepy and animistic, Bo’s ur Boo.

Not once in the history of Bo’s life has Bo ever worn shoes, if the sharp toed dogs being out is a deal breaker I’m sorry, Bo can be changed in many ways with the power of love and found family but they will never change that

Equally possessive as Bo is loyal. In the ‘won’t care if their partner wants to sleep with others but will absolutely not play second fiddle to anyone’ Will be the favourite person to their favourite person typa way. (Might not count if you only wanna smash but I’ll leave it in👀) (also might be kinda a plus’s for anyone who enjoys jealous bitting and sharp teeth)

Disclaimer!!!

I know it might seem like I’m doing my best to make you choose the pass but I just wanna make sure you know what ur getting into with this eldritch monstrosity of a Druid! Big papa B literally designed them to look a lil like every race so much that they end up like none of them. bubblegum esc so they’d be alienated by everyone and fall into murder easier😪 literally designed by god to be uncanny and off putting.

I promise I love em b u t to this day I’ve not been able to get Bo as monsterous as I see Bo in my mind. Monster fuckers will probably enjoy tho 🤡

Tags💞❤️💞

@venranae 💞 @melonkka @ascendedastarionapologist

[stormblessed95]

What's your opinion on jikook now always spotted eating dinner or lunch or just hanging with their own friends but not each other? I mean, i get it that they are super busy especially Jimin nowadays, but don't couples need to spend some time too? It's not weird? Couples also need to spend some time outside hanging out and in Jikooks case... nobody will even question them because they are bandmates and friends too. So why is that they're spending their time outside with other people or even alone but not with each other?? Maybe because they're not a couple? We always gush over when we see them hanging out before and think they're a couple so now what? And i also read in one of ur old answers that u think jk is gay...why do you think this tht he's gay but not bi? Jk was seen hanging out with girls staff before and looks very comfortable with them and his ideal type is iu and he's crazy over her. Did u watch old videos of him whenever he's around iu in awards shows?? He looks like his crush is standing there. And m not saying he is in love with her but at least that shows he's bi?? And have u ever formally shipped someone else too in some other group or its just jikook? u always talk about Jikook like u r sure they're in love... haven't ur gut feeling comes wrong ever in any situation?? Bcz i can understand that there is so much to believe in jikook but this is also a fact that there are also so many things behind the cameras which we already seen and heard in their Life style that also indicates that they are not a couple...so what about those things?

The next ask I get like this, I'm just deleting for the foreseeable future. Because at least PRETEND you have read through my blog first? I literally just posted this link an hour ago

^ This one should answer your "what's your opinion over jikook not being spotted out together" question

This next one should answer you why I think JK is gay. It also includes posts over my opinions on JK and IU/girls in general. Also, fyi, comfy around someone (like staff members who take care of you) is not the same thing as attraction...

I don't follow any other kpop groups or music groups like I do BTS. So sorry, no. I don't have any shipping creditionals to give you 🤣

lmfao but here are some kpop ships that were shipped, ridiculed for being shipped and then turned out true

And finally, "this is also a fact that there are also so many things behind the cameras which we already seen and heard in their Life style that also indicates that they are not a couple...so what about those things?"

Lol what things? You'll have to be more specific because nothing we have seen or heard about behind the cameras in the life styles has given any indication that they couldn't be a couple. So I guess in this instance, we simply just disagree.

[amporella]

although on a more serious note i hate it when ppl say that kyle blew up canada because he was jealous of heidi bc i personally believe that:

he didn't blow up canada because of jealousy. he didn't go "guess ill blow up canada" after heidi decided to date cartman. the heidi situation might have contributed to it, but they fail to recognize that he was socially outcasted by his peers. for reasons kyle thought were unreasonable, and to be fr kinda were. and kyle, similar to in 'south park is gay', when he feels as though he's been isolated for something he feels unreasonable, he ends up wanting to 'prove everyone wrong', or avenge himself. he obviously also starts thinking negatively of his peers that have isolated him and of things he associates with them. he tries to find things to blame for how they treated him, so it'll be the thing he gets revenge on or something. in that case it was terrance and philip. one thing leads to another and canada gets nuked. was he indirectly involved in it? sure. did he go to the fucking white house to get nuclear codes from garrison then march on over to the goddamn pentagon to do the deed? no! obviously! and it wasn't even his intention in the first place!

does it mean his name is suddenly cleared if wasnt the one to directly do it? probably no, but it certainly can't compare to shit cartman's done, and he definitely didn't do it just because he got jealous that heidi started (read: got manipulated into) dating cartman again, and in the episode 'splatty tomato' he clearly said he no longer had any feelings for heidi at the time, and probably hadn't for a while. his whole relationship with heidi started out as him trying to get her out of what turned into an abusive situation. to see her go back into that situation then turn into a female version of the guy that's been antisemitic to him since what? infant onesies? would probably be very upsetting. in the end he did get over her, and like i said, clearly stated he had no feelings for the person she became.

like the 'kyle blew up canada' comment alone shows they only really did surface level analyzation on kyle's character and while he's done tons of fucked up shit, in terms of intent, the general moral code and policies he has, and his general attitude, he really isn't 'just as bad as cartman'. sure he's far from a 100% goodie two shoes but being on par with cartman? as if. like its not very hard to think through.

ive also seen people who say this kind od thing say they're missing the point of south park (being full of assholes, being offensive, etc. etc.) like no YOUR missing the point of cartman. the point of his character is the he's the assholiest of assholes!!! his character is supposed to embody nearly every bad opinion or belief that exists!! every bigoted thought you could have!!! the worst in people!!! like im not goin to deny that overtime he's started developing lots of depth and grew to become more than just the 'psychopathic child' caricature he started out as, but if you can't even understand the basic purpose that cartman's character has in south park's narrative and its main base and foundation, then like,,, i doubt you oughta be saying that chief. just a thought.

that's it from me, sorry for the ramble!! i just really wanted to share my thoughts on this kind of comment specifically ^^; hope ur doing well!!

RIGHT ON THE MONEY TBH!! (And it's been a while since I've watched that arc, so excuse any errors)

It's beyond insane to accuse Kyle of nuking Canada over something as petty as jealousy alone, and it really shows a fundamental misunderstanding of his character, as well as a fundamental misunderstanding of how external influence can affect someone? Like, I am genuinely concerned about how people can be so out of touch to not understand that Kyle had a million things coming at him at once in that instance - Heidi included (and not even just Heidi dating Cartman, but Heidi, a girl he really liked and felt protective of, making a sharp pivot to antisemitism), but also his friends (as you mentioned) and Mr. Garrison! It's obvious by Kyle's immediate horrified reaction that he didn't realize the implication of his actions; he was used as a pawn by Mr. Garrison to achieve and justify his political goals, and at the end of the day, you're totally right - he wasn't the one who actually did the deed, and imo there is NO way he would have done it himself. He expressed anger that he thought was righteous, and Mr. Garrison took it and ran with it. How is that his fault?

You worded it just as well as I could; it's absolutely laughable to think that Kyle is in any way as bad as Cartman based on one instance that he didn't even directly commit. Cartman does the bad shit he does out of genuine hatred: nobody taunts him over the phone to tell him to do it, and the minorities he hates certainly don't push him to the brink. He just does it because he can, and he wants to. He shows no remorse when he does succeed, and the regret he shows when he doesn't is only that he didn't succeed - not that he regrets any of his actions, at all. Kyle and Cartman are not on the same plane whatsoever.

It requires intentional misinterpretation of literally EVERYTHING Matt and Trey intended about South Park to think that Kyle is as bad as Cartman tbh! In order for South Park to work as a piece of satire, Cartman HAS to be the bad guy and he HAS to have good guys to play off of. Not perfect guys, but good guys. Without the contrast of bad guy vs good guy and Cartman having people who actually care about doing good to attack, South Park would have never survived this long. And even beyond all of that; why the hell would Matt make the character who's essentially his self insert as bad as Cartman? Surely that's enough of evidence that no, that obviously wasn't the intention?

Don't apologize for the ramble!! I think it makes a lot of sense and I totally agree. I hope you're doing well too!!! <3

(and WAJIPFAJFI all's well that ends well I guess?)

[shenzuns]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST.

name.  kiwi  !

pronouns.  they  /  them  (  +  she  /  he  )

preference  of  communication.  uhhh probably... IMs or discord  ???  i give out my discord as much as i can, but i’m very bad at talking to people BHDFDJF

name  of  muse.  shen qingqiu, or shen yuan depending on who you get acquainted with...  first  ?  it’s very verse dependent, if you meet him when he’s transmigrated then it’s shen qingqiu bc by that point he’s given up his old identity as  “  shen yuan  “

rp  experience  /  how  long.  good god i’ve probably been here since i was like... 13? so...  8 years disgostang

best  experience.  shitposting  !  that’s literally all i do on a daily basis anyways, but my best rp experiences were when the community would kind of get together and do silly shit on the dash. i don’t see much of that anymore at all now lol, unfortunate  !  oh, and, in character games were THE shit like...  i still try to get those going when i can bc there’s nothing more fun than muses meeting each other for the first time to yell at each other about being the imposter or something.  also, when you kind of have a group of people who are in a specific verse, and matching urls, and just idk very community based things were always my type of beat  !

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers.  i...  don’t really have many actually  ?  it’s quite litchrally the basic principal that people have been touting for years, read rules  (  please god, i know he acts like a straight guy but my man is gay as all hell Do Not approach him romantically if ur muse is fem aligned  ), don’t try to play god without My permission, don’t forceship unless i say it’s cool cus i love forceshipping with my breasties, don’t... tell me what my muse is... or how he could be  /  act like... man.  uhhh, probably also like, feeling as though i have to diminish how powerful or mean a muse is otherwise me and someone’s mun will get off on the wrong foot like...  i’m sorry i don’t control my muse’s power level it’s on UR muse to not instigate a fight if u Know my muse is strong man.  uhhh...  when people complain about posting too much ooc like ok just say u don’t want to have fun or get to know the ppl behind the screen.  also, it kind of squicks me when ppl are like ‘oh ur character isn’t super canon’ like i already have phobias, don’t add to that man  ---  also canon divergencies exist.  and then other stuff is just stupid shit like, if we’re shipping and there’s no reciprocating amount of effort put in it just tanks me, and like.  fighting over ships too lawl like, i get if toxic ships aren’t ppls cups of tea but that doesn’t mean u have to kill someone over it  (  this does NOT include actually problematic ships, yall are adult enough to get what i mean here  )

fluff,  angst,  or  smut.  all i guess  ???  my fatal flaw is liking angst and smut but being too much of a baby to write it out and  /  or talk about it.  like, i’m very bad at writing angst but it’s all i give my muses so I Want To Learn.  and, re: smut i’m... weirdly shy  ?  which is funny bc it’s horny thoughts 24/7 here but i just get anxious and lock up even though i want to write smut. it’s fucked up and evil and i’m the bearer of the curse SFNFKMSF

plots  or  memes.  boooth...  i say tentatively, LIKE i’m kind of bad at plotting is the thing.  i prefer discussing character dynamics and then discussing how things can go from that.  also, s.qq is kind of difficult to plot with i’ve come to slowly realize  ???  but i also Have to plot with him to get anywhere, so u see it’s a pain.  BUT I LOVE MEMES i thrive on memes, it’s the best way i interact  !  i do try my best to send in stuff and i adore getting things in return  (  i’m just slow as fuck but i always smile when i get asks  )

long  or  short  replies.  UHHHH...  it really depends but i’ll be real, i talk too fucking much when i write SHDSFMKFDKM a bitch doesn’t know how to shut up and s.qq is an overthinker so he’s very introspective  (  TOO introspective u might say  ), so while i love the idea of short replies...  it never really works out that way for me </3

best  time  to  write.  man.  who even knows w/ me at this point LMAOO probably night though that’s when everything’s quiet for me and i can vibe, or like.  the early hours of daybreak.  but idk when my motivation, creativity and social battery are up there is usually when i start writing again

are  you  like  your  muse.  KIIIND OF  ???  my friend’s and i like to joke around that i’m kind of a shen yuan at times, i actually really latched onto his character BECAUSE of his neurosis but.  i dunno, i’m not as logic driven as he is, nor am i as stilted emotionally  /  with my affections.  so, yes and no  !  he can be difficult to write sometimes because of how different he is from me, i think.  i’ve never written a muse like him before, so it’s definitely a challenge, but a fun one  !  i also think it’s pretty natural to take on muses similar to you or put parts of yourself in a muse, bc how else are you supposed to understand them on a deeper level yk  ?  it helps with getting into a muses mental imo.

tagged.  @oftwilight​  thank u sybil, ily  !  <3

tagging.  @junshang​,  @feiyuie​,  @mellodiies​,  @kuurtaa​,  @chiheru​,  @hymnblood​,  @fuxian​,  @suender​  &  if ur reading this that’s it. ur tagged, @ me i want to see  !

[rpfofficial]

9, 11, 19, 21 :))

HI RYAN sorry thisbgot long but. :3

9. what’s a series or franchise you secretly or not so secretly think you’d be, like, a REALLY good writers for if they’d stop being cowards and hire you already?

okay the obvious answer is supernatural. i haven't had intense spn thoughts in months which is a good thing and a sign of healing but I know in my heart that I could fix that show I would treat it so well id be so good to it. Uhmm anyway. i also believe i would be an asset to the stranger things writing team because i loved it back in season 1 but now I have a very VERY mixed relationship with it (mostly including hatred and regret) but I could fix it i could fix them. Anyway.

11. if you currently write fanfiction or have ever written fanfiction, please tell us about the plot of the first fic you ever wrote

this is a difficult question because i genuinely don't know what the first fic i ever wrote was.... it was either marvel or harry potter sorry everyone. they were both when I was around 8 years old i just dont know which STARTED first. the harry potter one was basically just me making a bunch of ocs and putting them into the world with a new original villain. it was pretty good, considering, like 8 Yr old me did some in depth character development and I still have the notebook I used to outline chapters and write down songs that made me think of certain characters or stuff like that. and tge marvel thing was something I wrote with my cousin where we made a bunch of our own superheroes and villains that teamed up with the avengers and it was basically (comics universe) infinity war but to the left. notable heroes included Vortex who wore a suit that looks like the guys from Daft Punk and can create mini black holes out of thin air, and Jaguar who was basically my mini wolverine but she was also an acrobat. so yeah. My cousin had a guy called Dr Emoji who drove the emojibile and created little minions modeled after emoji faces and they basically fought for him. Me and my cousin are both autistic btw

19. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

UHHMMMM i don't know i can't remember nothing comes to mind. i know things. I learn things. but I can't tell u something i learned specifically while researching for a writing project. I'm most likely to remember at a random moment when it isn't important or relevant sorry ry :') um and I've never written anything that required a ton of research, but i do it for everything I write, even for small things, and not always on a huge scale. does this make sense. research is important but i don't regard it as SUPER important . Depending on what ur writing.

21. BIG ask: what do you think is the most important component of a good story?

gay sex . no im kidding. its hard to pick just 1 thing but if i must say there are 2 components that are important to ME personally:

1) complex characters that are memorable, whether they are loved or hated, characters that make you feel things and even if you aren't rooting for them you still care to see what happens to them

2) funny stuff like genuinely intelligent comedy even if it's a super duper serious and dark story if there aren't tiny moments of light and humour then. Well then I don't like it that much lol. im not saying cringey worthless one liners or even full on jokes because those are often out of place and weird, but something that's enough to make you smile or exhale through your nose, that helps you connect to the story more

[cruelsister-moved2]

People on here are just completely incapable of understanding nuance like yes butch queen + fem/me queen are terms used in ball culture yes there is a long history of gay men casually describing themselves as butch or femme but people see this and think its exactly the same as dyke butch/femme culture when those are highly different contexts so now we get people angry at lesbians for not wanting to fuck gay men or writing men dni on their posts abt having sex with butches bc its "excluding" butch men or whatever and equating critique of this collapse of context and nuance as being exactly the same as people (not exclusively lesbians) being goofy and ahistorical like no YOU people are being goofy and ahistorical

no literally exactly it's really embarrassing and to me its disrespectful to history bc u literally see ppl just combing thru random lgbt relics to find an example where a gay guy calls himself femme so they can be like see!!! i can join in!!! and like im interested in all of our history not just stuff that only relates to lesbians so i actually read it properly and its so blatantly not talking abt butch/femme culture that its just... to me so obnoxious to like ignore ppls ACTUAL histories in favour of trying to superimpose ur online understanding of like the 21st century evolution of a 70+ year old dynamic that is based around gay women trying to court each other like... its genuinely just goofy and silly and u look illiterate 😭😭😭

also can't believe they don't HEAR themselves like yeah sorry gay women are under so much pressure from misogyny and patriarchy and heterosexuality and constantly demanded to be available and appealing to men it's literally not wrong that we want our own space for our desire to be like safe and insulated that isnt the same thing as judging or devaluing others or w/e its not saying we r better than u or something.

i saw some guy complaining about "lezseps" gatekeeping him from b/f and it's like... u realise ur just a man whining that lesbians don't want to include u in a subculture which is about us dating each other like..... it literally just doesnt make sense for u to be here and it defeats the object of the space entirely. irl gay men are exactly the same like its very normal for a group that has sex n relationships w each other to have like specific spaces and culture around that that just. don't make sense to involve anyone else in like its not Gatekeeping, like im not using grindr or calling myself a twink because it would be pointless outside of being a man trying to sleep with men. even without adding the gendered dynamics of being a man thats like stop excluding ME from ur desire for women or whatever its still just sillyyyy

its just very online behavior bc they have no connection at all to the equivalent sorts of communities for other groups and so they latch onto a misunderstanding of what b/f is without getting that the entire fuel in the motor is like.. desire between women sheieuf like omg its really dumb the more I talk abt it the more im just like this is so dumb why is anyone trying to argue this 😭😭😭 leave women alone frrrrrr

[n1kolaiz]

THE GREAT FITZGERALD

thank u @dazaistabletop for getting me so interested in Fitzgerald's character. ur my favourite Fitz kinnie ok mwah( ˘ ³˘)♥

Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald's novel— The Great Gatsby— was a love story that involved Jay Gatsby, whose mannerisms and characteristics appear to be quite similar to Fitzgerald in the Bungou Stray Dogs adaptation. I just finished reading The Great Gatsby so I thought I'd just make a comparison between the main protagonist of the novel and the main antagonist in BSD's Guild Arc.

Other than the fact that both Jay and Fitzgerald share similar character traits (ambitious, arrogant, and optimistic) the relationships Jay had with the other characters of the novel and the interactions that Fitzgerald had with the other characters of BSD are quite similar, too. I'll focus on three specific associations that both Fitzgerald and Jay experienced in a parallel manner:

Zelda Fitzgerald and Daisy Buchanan

Tom Buchanan

Louisa May Alcott and Nick Carraway

SPOILERS FOR THE GREAT GATSBY!

in case anyone hasn't read it but wants to :)

To avoid confusion, every time I mention Fitzgerald from here on out, I mean the character from BSD; I will specify my references if it comes to the author.

The Great Gatsby had its plot set around the time of the Roaring Twenties: the aftermath of World War I, the peak of socialite culture, and the growth of a prosperous economy and general wealth altogether.

The Roaring Twenties was also a time of luxurious pleasure and liquor, where people indulged themselves and got addicted to hedonism— the pursuit of gratification.

The Great Gatsby was actually written on the basis to prove how corrupt this age was, and the existence of such corruption was vaguely hinted by various factors, one of which included Jay Gatsby's actual source of income: being involved in the affairs of the black market. This proves that illegal activities were not uncommon around that time, as people did anything they could to achieve materialistic gains.

This isn't a history lesson, I promise.

Both Jay Gatsby and Fitzgerald had grown up in poverty and disliked the concept of being anything short of wealthy. They both worked extremely hard to attain financial abundance.

I presume that not everything they did was actually legal when it came to gaining money. As mentioned before, Jay was involved in criminal activities which founded the basis of his wealth, while Fitz once mentioned that in order to own a gun, he had to kill 4 people. He goes on to tell us that he ended up owning that specific gun's manufacturer eventually.

Daisy Buchanan and Zelda Fitzgerald.

The Great Gatsby is actually centered around Jay Gatsby's rather obsessive infatuation with Daisy.

Daisy was a beautiful lady with a incredibly charming nature— she didn't have much trouble with attracting many men back then before she got married to Tom Buchanan, the antagonist of the story and the rival of Jay Gatsby.

"Her voice was full of money," he said suddenly.

That was it. I'd never understood before. It was full of money— that was the inexhaustible chair that rose and fell in it, the jingle of it. the cymbals' song of it... High in a white palace the King's daughter, the golden girl...

Daisy and Jay Gatsby fell in love right before he was sent off to war and a few years before she met Tom. Before they were separated, Jay's dream of gaining wealth and status was primarily flamed by his intention of reaching Daisy's social ranking in order to be worthy of her love.

Initially, because of how passionate he was about his love for her, Jay lied to Daisy about his wealth. It was only after the War did he actually gain the riches he aimed for. By the time he did achieve his monetary goals, Daisy had married Tom already. Consequently, Jay hosted a bunch of lavish parties in order to gain her attention, prove himself and his love for her, and ultimately, win her back.

Jay perceived Daisy as a literal angel, void of any flaw whatsoever. He even tells Nick, the main character, that the fact that numerous men got romantically involved with such a lady just increased her value altogether.

But what gave it an air of breathless intensity was that Daisy lived there— it was as casual a thing to her as his tent out at camp was to him. There was a ripe mystery about it, a hint of bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities taking place through its corridors, and of romances that were not musty and laid away already in lavender but fresh and breathing and redolent of this year's shining motor cars and of dances whose flowers were scarcely withered. It excited him too that many men had already loved Daisy— it increased her value in his eyes. He felt their presence all about the house, pervading the air with the shades and echoes of still vibrant emotions.

As the story unfolded, Daisy's character was torn apart for a proper, more brutally realistic perspective of her true character, revealing a shallow, selfish lady who solely placed her interest in money and luxury, the things which she often took refuge in when things went wrong. As the plot developed itself, the actuality that Jay fell in love with the idea of Daisy, instead of Daisy herself, was much more evident. And it took quite some time for him to discover and acknowledge the truth.

Fitzgerald's love for Zelda was very apparent, too, except that it seemed more genuine and pragmatic. Not much is speculated about Fitz and Zelda's relationship in the Guild Arc, but his love for her was very deep, as everything he did was for her and their deceased daughter.

Side note: Fitzgerald (the author) based Daisy's character partially on Zelda, as both women were brought up in wealthy families and took a general liking to lifestyles revolving around money and ease.

Fitzgerald was in love with Zelda, a woman plagued by a debilitating illness. In The Great Gatsby, Jay was in love with a woman who was plagued by the deceptive addiction of self-satisfaction gained by pleasure and whatnot. Zelda was impaired by an mental illness, while Daisy was intoxicated by the security of money and prestige. This is an abstract suggestion though. Personally, that's how I interpreted this correlation when it came to examining these dynamics in their respective universes.

Tom Buchanan

As mentioned before, Thomas Buchanan was Daisy's husband and Jay's rival who had similar characteristics in matters of personality. The Toms in both book and anime were arrogant and cunning, which pretty much vouches for their selfishness.

In the book, Tom is supposedly the love of Daisy's life, except that she just married him for his money instead of waiting for Gatsby. Then again, Tom was involved in a love affair outside his marriage with a lady named Myrtle Wilson. Tom cheated on Daisy by getting involved with Myrtle. On the other hand, Daisy was unfaithful to Tom by keeping her love and relationship with Jay a secret from him.

The climax of the story partly revolves around Myrtle dying in a hit-and-run car accident. The grand twist was that Daisy was the one driving the car, and the car actually belonged to Gatsby. Because the car belonged to Gatsby, George Wilson, the husband of Myrtle, was bent on revenge and tracked down the car. He ended up killing Jay Gatsby, and soon after that, he killed himself.

It was quite a scandal, but Daisy estranged herself from such a tedious matter. In fact, when Jay died, she did not even attend his funeral. Tom was under the impression that Gatsby was the one who killed his mistress, not Daisy, his wife. Either ways, Nick described them in a way that sums up what became of them after Jay's death:

They were careless people, Tom and Daisy— they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made...

It's interesting to note that in chapter 45 of the BSD manga, Tom appears as the antagonist who was later found guilty of murdering his employee, but the blame was originally put on T.J Eckleburg, the inventor of the Eyes of God.

Side note: T.J. Eckleburg was actually an optician who appeared on a billboard advertisement in the novel. This billboard was used as a personification by Nick Carraway, which was meant to embody the representation of a displeased overseer who observed the events that unfolded before him. The Eyes of God has a similar concept: scrutinising everything with an accuracy of 97%. It's a personal speculation, but the Eyes of God was proven to be of utmost importance in the Cannibalism Arc when it came to capturing Fyodor Dostoevsky. Likewise, T.J. Eckleburg's eyes showed how corruption and misconduct never escaped his judgmental visage.

sorry about the quality of the manga panels ;-;

In the manga, Fitzgerald manages to triumph over Tom by betraying his trust altogether in order to obtain the ownership of the Eyes of God and Tom's company. This stands in contrast to what became of Jay in the novel, but the protagonist got what he wanted in this universe.

Keep in mind that Fitzgerald didn't act according to fulfil what justice required; it was purely business. Just like Jay Gatsby put on the facade of a plain, rich man who was really just bootlegging his way to opulence, Fitzgerald wasn't afraid to betray someone's trust to get what he wanted.

Nick Carraway and Louisa May Alcott

If I were to pick a character that represented Louisa May Alcott in BSD from the book, I'd pick the narrator himself: Nick Carraway. Again, this is my personal interpretation, so the association between these two characters is just my personal opinion.

Nick Carraway was known as the more reserved, cynical protagonist compared to Jay. The both of them developed a cordial friendship as the story progressed.

Nick initially took a liking to Gatsby, who was his neighbour. The enigmatic aura Gatsby emitted called for Nick's attention, and in the same way, Gatsby reciprocated his interest in Nick by making the effort to acquaint himself with him.

He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself.

There were a few times which suggests that Nick didn't like the way Gatsby acted or spoke. Nevertheless, Nick was the only one who stuck with Gatsby until the end.

"They're a rotten crowd," I shouted across the lawn. "You're worth the whole damn bunch put together.

(This was the last thing Nick said to Jay before he died.)

At first, Nick was intrigued by Jay's mystical nature and peculiar idiosyncrasies, but found that Gatsby was a very strange, but 'morally bad' man. However, over time, Nick became one of the few who managed to recognise Gatsby's idealistic ambitions; he saw through all the fame and wealth and found a mere human being capable of being entrapped by love's snares. Basically, he understood Gatsby, despite disagreeing with his actions and even his behaviour at times.

As for Louisa, well, it is a known fact that she was loyal to Fitzgerald because of how much she respected and trusted him.

Both Nick and Louisa were intelligent, witty people with generally nice, honest, and reserved dispositions. Their self-contained demeanours make it very easy to get along with the more exurbent/dominant personas of Gatsby and Fitzgerald. So in the event where each pair was isolated from the rest of the world, they had each other to depend on.

Next morning I sent the butler to New York with a letter to Wolfsheim, which asked for information and urged him to come out on the next train. That request seemed superfluous when I wrote it. I was sure he’d start when he saw the newspapers, just as I was sure a there’d be a wire from Daisy before noon – but neither a wire nor Mr. Wolfsheim arrived; no one arrived except more police and photographers and newspaper men. When the butler brought back Wolfsheim’s answer I began to have a feeling of defiance, of scornful solidarity between Gatsby and me against them all.

Such a dynamic created a close bond of trust. Just as Nick was not hesitant to stick by Gatsby's side, Louisa went to great extents just to return Fitzgerald back to his former leading position and work together with him.

Side note: Nick Carraway is suggested to have the INTP personality type, while Louisa is most likely an INFP. Both these personalities are strikingly similar in many ways. They are individualistic in thinking and described as 'seekers' of their place in the world. If you're interested in a more detailed comparison, check this post out

Alright, that's about it for my speculations; I hope they weren't too messy. Thank you so much for reading!

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

- Nick Carraway, The Great Gatsby

[mychemicalraymance]

not to be that person but like what if at the end of the day gerard really just is straight and maybe even cis? honestly only he knows the answer to that and he might never share it w the public and though i think you make some really valid points and god knows that speculation is inevitable when he’s spent years purposefully making it ambiguous, all it is is speculation and besides the fact that he’s been a huge ally and proclaimed his distaste for labels, we still can’t really use that as proof he’s closeted (though i’m not saying that’s unlikely), and even then his case seems to be an interesting one seeing as pretty much everyone believes him not to be straight and he himself you could say even hints to it occasionally but when it’s time to be upfront he’s never so much as heard the word gay before lol and always makes a point to distance himself from the community; at the same time though i’ve always found it interesting as well how lgbt ppl feel about mcr and gerard in particular and though i know that a big part of it is bc they actively worked towards creating a safe space for them, in terms of their actual art, every lgbt person, including me, seems to have a really strong attachment and connection to them, which i can’t help but feel like is rather peculiar seeing as how could a cishet individual be able to effectively convey stuff lgbt ppl feel speaks to them if he doesn’t know the experience? anyways yeah sorry for the rant but even though i appreciate what ur doing w all the analyzing and stuff, it sometimes just makes me feel a little weird as someone who’s had their sexuality scrutinized too (obviously not on this big of a scale) and idk but thank you for ur contributions!

oh sure yeah i’m not gonna lie and say that i’m not speculating! i won’t say i’m doing some morally high thing here when i talk about this and i get what you mean about sexuality being scrutinized. I do think think though gerard doesnt like.... distance himself? from the community? i actually feel like he aligns himself a lot with it but yes doesnt actively coin himself as a member which is significant. I think gerard is doing something really specific which is operating outside of the “in/out” binary, like he is specifically creating a third option that’s not in or out. which is really interesting and i might say a tiny bit radical. but also i know he is definitively not a sexual radical. my thing about him being straight is that like. ok. i think he sort of has this idea that might be like what i’ve observed in some older lgbt people which is that you can have internal feelings and ideas about being gay but like BEING gay is more about “living the lifestyle”. like someone who has attraction to men and is a man/gender non conforming. but like. is married to a woman and has a kid. is not “gay”. i don’t think gerard really thinks that way i CAN’T say. but i do think the “participation” element in calling yourself gay might be a thing he thinks about.

also i’m sorry if the speculation/scrutiny aspect of this makes you uncomfortable that’s very understandable. i just also think gerard is a self aware public figure and he sort of plays into/against this scrutiny on purpose, and because of that kind of establishes himself as figure in history that had “debatable” sexuality, which is a very specific type of sexual identity discourse and is really interesting. but also not always good. like i feel like gerard turned himself into like a david bowie or even walt whitman figure within the span of like 4 years and also while only being 44. and like. did that on purpose. but again intentions like that by nature can’t be staed truly... which just feeds back into itself....

[uglybrother]

this is for ivy, @purdymow44 everyone else, keep walkin!!

i’m not saying i ship cockles, i’m saying i think it’s real. i have no opinion on their relationship subjectively. this is objective fact-gathering LMAO. so here are the most convincing pieces of Evidence~~ (bolding the most damning)

So Misha Is Clearly Queer. Jackles is Queer Too.

so this panel moment. Jackles literally falls over laughing at the idea that Misha could be straight. They make eye contact and smile -_- 

leg pop. hhhhhh

so he’s willing to do gay p*rn. -__- 

jarpad accidentally outing jensen

UPDATE 2/15: the EXTREME vague language, including lack of pronouns, when talking about "the one"

They Look Married ???

Eyes Like the Sky beer ughhhh

matching rings that misha wears on the same finger as his wedding ring.

misha's own mother knows about and participates in fueling the cockles fire

it's a family friendly story, jensen assures jarpad

celebrating their ten year anniversary

And They Make So Many Sex Jokes It’s Annoying

hiii Goodbye Stranger gag reel :-))

enough with the blow job motion we get it (the link on ‘enough,’ the bottom right gif, right after that is when Misha says ‘I think I have PTSD’)

he can’t think of anything appropriate to say huh. 

butt sex joke :/ i’m so sorry ivy. 

i hate jackles so much.

jackles showing his underwear to misha on stage -____- i can't find the right post now, that set missed this moment, but apparently what he said to misha that wasn't audible was "i'm beary horny" (based on amateur lip-reading so take with a spoonful of salt)

there is just so much going on here i don't know what to explain. first there's the "i enjoy showing my crotch to you." then there's "let's see how deep it goes." and then he spreads his legs like that and when misha tells him to stop he does it AGAIN and says "pick a leg." HUH?? what is going on

freud would look at this and say "see??"

"he would ride me all day"

jensen is very "submissive" which is a comment misha has said a FEW times

jared is always making jokes about them being together and shit, but jensen almost always just ignores it. but here's an instance where he actually escalates the joke

Awkward Teenage Dating Stage

yknow how people love to embarrass their crushes. context: he tweeted this picture at 1:11 AM saying "jensen jus let me take this picture of him shirtless" and then immediately deleted the picture. but the tweet with the (broken) link is still up. :?

yknow how people act super enthusiastic around their crushes or teases them a bit too hard, when everyone else around them acts normal abt it? exhibits A and B and C

yknow how you try to impress your crush by taking on aspects of their personality so they like u more? so that u are more like them? exhibits A and B

blushing and giggling n shit 🙄

they recreated the scene from Hitch, and Jensen was blushing n smiling n shit 🙄 this was after he was in a shitty mood and they had to bring misha on stage to cheer him up. (they did NOT have to go that far/hard w/ the fake kiss tho)

getting jealous when your crush gives attention to someone else

when u want to show affection to ur crush but don't want it to be too obvious so u show affection to EVERYONE !

"what's a boy to do?"

literally wots all this. spoiler alert??? "you look really nervous" ??

now i could excuse one weird almost-kiss thing, but TWO??

How Much of Destiel is Just Cockles Bleeding Through??

they are proud of their chemistry -__-

hiii Goodbye Stranger gag reel :)

I’m Just Tender and Yearning

kissing :( 

laughing together :( 

banter and playful fighting :(

get someone who looks at you like—

teddy bear and puppy :(

touching :( plus jensens little smile in bottom right :(

Does This Tinhat Make Me Look Sexy?

misha is ALMA! plus u can look at the photos i posted on IG to see more examples lolll

Miscellaneous??

Misha obviously knows about all the theorizing. his mom actually sent him that link lmao. it just makes one wonder.

not only is jensen down to make a "european" (gay porn) film, he also wants to do a western romcom with misha specifically

[kingjasnah]

actually. actually let’s talk about diversity in fantasy let’s give that a go. im mad and im gonna be that way for a while

don’t want to read all this? fair. tldr: fantasy writers who rely not only on the medieval europe model but also hide behind historical accuracy in 2020 (fuck it, from ‘95 onwards) are lazy and unimaginative and should be held accountable no matter how many white 20 year old dudes jerk off to whatever power fantasy is embedded in the plot. so lets chat about that lads. (slightly) drunk rant under the cut

now prelim shit: we know fantasy is used both as escapism and as a way to deal with various traumas via magical metaphor. staples of the genre. even if jk rowling busted out the laziest and at times offensive metaphor for ww2 and racism ive ever seen, she still adhered to time and true tropes. whatever.

so why have we, in this post game of thrones era, become insanely obsessed with realism? i can hear sixty 20-something year old men crying at me rn like oh ohh oh its based off the war of roses oh wahh all medieval fantasy fiction is based off england and the crusades anyway so women should get raped and people of color should be demonized its not racism its xenophobia and also gay people dont exist and disabled people are systematically killed off and if we stretch the magic fixes mental illness thing a LITTLE further we have straight up eugenics.

we all know where the england but myth thing came from. now the thing about tolkien is that while i will always absolutely love lotr, looking at the LAZY state of fantasy? damn i kinda wish he hadn’t revolutionized the genre. the bitch was still racist. he still didnt give a shit abt women (eowyn was just a vehicle to show how much he fucking hated macbeth anyone holding jrrt up as a feminist icon for that needs to sit the fuck down and explain to me why i can count the woman speaking roles in lotr, a story with a name and fleshed out backstory for every minor character, on one hand but thats! another post). he had something to say abt class with sam i’ll give him that but he is still 100% NOT what we need to hold our standards to in 2020. 

i dont want to talk about old school fantasy, like 80s early 90s cause theres literally no point. its sexist, racist, ableist for sure, this we know. david eddings (not even that old school tbh) can rise from the grave and explain himself to me personally and i still wont forgive him for ehlana. 

so let’s talk historical accuracy. quick question. who the FUCK gives a shit? WHO is this elusive got fan who’s out here like blehh actually??? this method of iron production is TOTALLY anachronistic of the time. ummm these vegetables in this fictional world were NOT native to english soil so how are they here? cause i know this is the classic argument but ive never actually met someone who cared about the lack of dysentery as much as they care abt the women getting raped on screen/page. 

god forbid you have to worldbuild for a second god forbid you can’t rely on the idea of fantasy readers already have in their head god forbid you have an original idea god forbid you spend more than two seconds thinking about ur setting (oh i should mention i dont....really blame GoT for its setting cause of how long ago it was og written but trust me i sure as hell blame grrm for writing a 13 yr old giving ‘consent’ to sex with a grown man within the first couple of chapters) 

If we accept the basic premise of fantasy as escapism, and i AM drunk so i will NOT be finding fuckin. quotes and shit for this but come on tolkien said it himself and as much as i’ll drag him he crafted the simplest and most powerful fantasy metaphors on the board rn. But if we know its escapism. If we know. then who is it escapism for? certainly not for me, the gay brown woman who busted through all of GoT in 10th grade. 

modern fantasy lit used as an excuse for that white male power fantasy is literally disgusting. calling historical accuracy is so fucking dumb ESPECIALLY cause we, as ppl in the 21st  century, KNOW women have been consistently written out of the story. poc ppl, gay and trans ppl, anyone with a god forbid disability has been WRITTEN out of history as we know it, INCLUDING the fucking war of the roses so HOW can we hold up testimony we know is flawed to support our FICTIONAL. STORY. just to??? support the white power fantasy?? literally noah fence but if you are a white guy who felt really empowered by every time jim butcher described a woman tell me: how do you think that’ll hold up in classic HisToRiCaL fantasy. you think thats a fucking noble pursuit? or are you grima wormtongue out here. 

(side note: jim butcher stop writing challenge i dont need to know abt every woman on page’s nipples. anyone who hides behind subgenre like that? ‘ohhh its a noir story thats why hes sexualizing everyone’ shut the fuck up an author isnt possessed by a fuckin muse and compelled to bust out 500k they have agency and they have choice and they MADE the choice to reserve said will for none of their female characters)

which brings me to point 2: target audience and BOY is the alcohol hitting me rn but WHO is this for? this isnt the fucking 80s we know poc and other marginalized folk read fantasy FOR the escapism. on god ive had a cosmere focused blog for nearly three years and. im just gonna say it im interacted with A LOT of yall and ive managed to talk to VERY few white straight ppl as compared to everyone else. 

like....who deserves to see the metaphor on homophobia or racism. joanne rowling? the bitch who literally tried to sell us happy slaves and the disgusting aids metaphor and the worst case of antisemitic stereotypes i ever saw in an nyt bestseller? yall think that was for US? or was it for the white guilt crowd. 

literally white people can find any book about them that they can relate to. but hmmm maybe theres a reason gay women care so much about stormlight archive’s jasnah kholin, a brown woman who’s heavily coded as wlw. or kaladin, the FIRST fantasy protag ive ever seen with clinical depression. hmm i wonder why a bunch of millennials are vibing all of a sudden. im not saying sanderson is perfect--but its the best ive seen from a white author tbh

maybe theres a reason a lot of poc vibe with a literary way to express trauma, and maybe thats why i specifically get so pissed when its not done well. theres a REASON books about outcasts pushing through and claiming their own lives are popular with people who arent white and straight and able bodied. Junot Diaz had a point. maybe lets STOP catering to those assholes who think theyre joseph campbell’s wet dream personified. ive lost respect SO many authors who are objectively talented. pat rothfuss can write so beautifully that ive cried to bits of name of the wind but literally i will never pick that series up again (not just because of the felurian. women in general tbh. mostly the felurian ngl) cause 1) i personally KNEW men whod jerk off to that shit and 2) there was no need for it there was no plot reason for ANY of that shit 

so like obviously thers an issue with authors of color specifically not getting recognized for fantasy and genre work but on god??????? im still mostly mad at the legions of white authors churning out the same medieval england chosen one books year after fucking year. have an original thought maybe. also im sorry that you as an author lack the basic empathy needed to examine the way that women? or any group of people that youre explicitly writing about see the world and would specifically see YOUR made up world. 

yes your fantasy should be diverse, but more than that it should be kind. if you as a writer cant respect groups of people who deserve it....what the hell are you doing in a genre that traditionally is about finding ways to express injustice through metaphor? tolkien’s hero was sam. fantasy was NEVER about the privileged. yall know who you are so stop acting so fucking entitled. peace out. 

[highkey-lowkey-as-hell]

WATT/Six

This turned into more of a series of drabbles tbh. Disclaimer: I have no fucking idea how theater works. @thatoneroboticskid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chess could see the exact moment Kate no longer regretted trying out for the North American tour of Six.

Her best friend hadn’t expected to actually make it in. She’d only come to auditions because Chess was, and she was free and bored that day. Then she’d been called back, and then they told her they wanted her to be the first cover for Boleyn and Parr, and Chess had convinced her to accept.

Kate was dragging her feet the entire way to the studio for their first read-through, and Chess had given up telling her it would be fun and was ignoring her by the time they got there. Kate immediately shut up once they entered the room, and Chess glanced over to see her staring at someone - a girl with shoulder-length brown hair, leaning against the far wall on her phone - with a rainbow pin on her jacket.

“Shit, she’s cute,” Kate whispered to Chess.

“Then go talk to her.”

“What? No! Chess-” Kate tried to protest, but Chess was already shoving her forward and the mystery girl had noticed and it was too late to turn back now.

Chess watched Kate stumble haphazardly through a conversation with the mystery girl until someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to see an over-eager redhead.

“Hi! I’m Riley, I’m Anne Boleyn! Who do you play- OH MY GOD THAT’S EVA SANCHEZ!” The redhead - Riley - left as quickly as she had come, leaving Chess more than a little bewildered. She was replaced by a tall, dark-skinned girl who was rolling her eyes.

“I’m Cairo. Sorry about Riley, she’s a big fan of Eva’s.”

“Chess.” They shook hands. “Just so you know, I think my best friend’s about to slit your friend’s throat for interrupting that trainwreck of a conversation.” Kate was, in fact, glowering at Riley, who was fawning over Eva and squealing about how big a fan she was.

“She's a fan, too?”

“More like she thinks she’s cute.” Chess managed not to laugh as Kate returned to her.

“That went horribly,” she grumbled.

“I noticed. Kate, this is Cairo. Cairo, Kate.”

“Hey. I’m Catherine of Aragon, you?” Cairo held out her hand for Kate to shake.

Kate shook it, looking like she was analyzing Cairo. “I'm the first cover for Boleyn and Parr.”

“Riley’s the principle Boleyn,” Cairo commented.

“She’s also getting on my nerves,” Kate grumbled. “I was this close to getting her number, Chess! This close!” She held up her thumb and pointer finger, which were basically touching. “And then Riley came out of nowhere and ruined my shot!”

“There will be other chances,” Chess soothed.

“But am I going to have the guts to talk to her again? No!”

“She’s watching us,” Cairo commented.

“She is?” Kate froze, looked back at Eva, and then turned accusing eyes on Cairo. “No, she isn’t.”

“You’re right, she isn’t, but it was fun watching you panic.”

Chess decided that was a good time to remove Kate from that conversation before they had to track down a new Catherine of Aragon, so she excused them and pulled Kate over to the side of the room, where Chess could study their fellow cast members and Kate could continue to stare at Eva.

When she counted nine women (including her and Kate), their director entered the room and started passing around their scripts, and Kate had to pay attention, which she clearly was sour about.

They walked home together after that rehearsal, and Chess listened to Kate whine about being interrupted by Riley while she highlighted her lines, already looking forward to this new role.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mattie was nervous.

Yeah, that was the word for it.

She was the youngest of the cast, apparently, and she’d listened to the studio cast recording of her solo and wow, it sounded hard. She was frankly starting to have second thoughts about this. And the other cast members… some of them looked so mean. Especially the girl who introduced herself as the actress for Catherine of Aragon, and the one who said she was the first cover for Boleyn and Parr.

But that night, as she read the script with a cup of hot cocoa and her favorite fuzzy blanket, she started to warm up to the idea of Katherine Howard.

Several weeks later, when they were off-script, they started to meet with the choreographer and learn the dances, and they met with the costume designers to get their sizes for their costumes, and one night, practicing her choreography for Don’t Lose Ur Head, Mattie started to get really, really excited.

One day, all nine of them met at the costume designers’ studio to try their costumes on for the first time, and Mattie could barely contain her excitement. Even Cairo and Kate, the mean-looking ones she’d noticed the first day, were grinning as they inspected their new costumes.

Mattie, personally, loved hers. She loved the clear plastic skirt and the spiky ponytail and she could barely wait until she got her hair dyed pink next week so she could see her entire K Howard look.

And she started to make some friends in the cast, too. Obviously, they all became a big group of friends, but she got really close with Reese and Farrah, the other two swings.

Opening night, in San Francisco, was in three weeks now, and Mattie was now very, very excited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reese knew she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she was going to take what she could get. She was going to wear her black swing costume and she was going to sing Heart of Stone and Get Down and she was going to be adored by the queendom.

She volunteered for their cast’s first Instagram takeover. Didn’t get it. Didn’t get the second one, either. The third one was the first week or so of June, so they gave it to Kate and Eva, the most openly LGBTQ+ members of their cast. In fact, she didn’t get it until the seventh takeover, but she milked every second of it that she could.

She went on as Cleves for their last performance of their first week, and there was surely no better thrill than this. No better thrill than saying “Divorced,” in a dramatic voice, no better thrill than joking “it was just so… tragic,” no better thrill than shouting “Get your phones out, you’re gonna wanna film this!”

As exhausted as she was when they all walked offstage, she would’ve given anything to go back onstage again. She took her makeup off and thought while Kate, who had been on for Boleyn that night, ranted about something cute Eva had done during Megasix and Farrah, who hadn’t been on that night but watched from the lighting booth, yelled at her for being stupidly in love. She thought about how many people had been cheering for her, how many people adored her for being their black-costumed alternate.

That night, before heading back to their hotel, the whole cast met onstage for a big group hug, and Reese walked on a cloud all the way to her room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eva had done so much research so she could accurately portray Catherine Parr that it made her head hurt. But those hours poring over books and Wikipedia and other shit were all worth it when she held her fist in the air among a downfall of confetti and heard those cheers.

It was also worth it to get to hang out with Kate, of course.

She could barely sleep the night before their first performance, so she scrolled through the Six tag on Tumblr and grinned into her pillow every time someone posted about how excited they were for this new cast, or posted about how they were looking forward to seeing it, or posted an edit that included her cast. She paused at one post, her heart hammering as she wondered how many people had seen it.

When the hell are Kate Dalton and Eva Sanchez from the new Six cast going to start dating?

All of the replies and reblogs agreed, and Eva found herself scrolling down the notes, wondering if Kate had seen this and kind of hoping she had.

The first time she carried on the Catherine Parr tradition of taking someone’s phone during the Megasix, the smile from the lucky fan made her grin even more, and she didn’t stop smiling the rest of the night (especially when Kate dropped by her dressing room to say “you guys did really great tonight,” which she knew referred to her and Mattie and Annleigh, but Kate was staring at her while she said it, and holy shit Eva was gay).

On the bus to Seattle for their next set of shows, Kate sat herself down next to Eva, and by the time they reached their new hotel, Eva was updating her relationship status on social media. Kate was on as Parr that night and Eva had that show off, so she watched next to the sound booth and cheered on her castmates and also gave out a few hugs to a couple fans that noticed her and came up to say hi.

She also heard shouting from the swings’ dressing room, and then Kate and Annleigh switched because “Farrah’s getting on my nerves, and Annleigh handles her best.” Eva didn’t mind, because now she could shamelessly flirt with Kate while they got ready.

The queendom freaked out that day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Farrah saw right through what Kate was planning, but if it meant she didn’t have to hear another word about how pretty Eva’s eyes were, she’d willingly go along with it.

Now that she’d gone on for both of her roles, she could say pretty fairly that she preferred Howard. She loved the roast speech and she loved her song and she loved that high ponytail, to the point where she almost wished she was principle Howard. Almost.

Now that she didn’t have to listen to Kate’s holy-shit-I’m-extremely-gay-for-Eva-Sanchez rants, she could turn her focus to her stepsister, who clearly had a crush on their lighting expert, the guy who followed them around to every lighting booth to lead their specific lighting patterns and Farrah needed to stop using the word lighting.

So she locked them in the lighting booth together.

She got a little bit yelled at by her cast members (except for Kate and Eva, who were suspiciously absent), but it was worth it when she unlocked the door and found them making out.

“Heyo,” she said calmly, barely restraining herself from laughing when they jumped apart.

“Farrah!” Annleigh scolded.

“What? I locked you in here, now I’m letting you out. Chess, you said this was what I was supposed to do, right?”

“Yeah, it was. Annleigh, we’ve got to go get ready, and Clark, can you track down Kate and Eva? We need both of them and nobody knows where they are.”

“In a closet,” Farrah snickered.

“Farrah.”

“What?”

[hallaevak]

skam thoughts

hi ok i’m bored n sick so i’m here to give my (maybe unpopular? idk) thoughts on skam + remakes. i have seen most* remakes, but i’ll mention if i have not seen a particular season or not

first off: basic opinions (favorite remakes, favorite characters, etc)

fav jonas/eva remake:

- skam nl (kes/isa) - isa is, in my opinion, the most relatable eva remake. she’s so sassy and lovable! in general i’m not the biggest fan of the season 1 plot, but i think all jonas/eva pairings, chemistry wise, have been phenomenal. isa/kes are just a little bit more impressive in my opinion.

fav noorhelm remake

- this will be of no shock, as this is quite a popular opinion, but wtfock (senne and zoë). most william remakes kind of suck, and the general character dynamic between noora and william is not something i like. i enjoy the plot but a lot of williams are just...ew. i’m interesting in skam españa interpretation (nora and alejandro) but i can’t fully judge their season until it’s over. zoë is such a wonderful character and senne is actually not a dick! i sobbed when they broke up in s3.

fav evak remake

- i’m tied. either skam france/wtfock. i love the (for some reason controversial) dynamic between sander and robbe. i also love elu, like the basic bitch i am. elliott demaury OWNS me.

fav youssana remake

- honestly, i kind of didn’t like any of them (that are released). there’s only two out there, druck and skam france, and i didn’t like any. i’m sorrryyyy i just love sana bakkoush and no one could ever be better than her. oof! disclaimer i have not watched all of amira’s season/druck s4. i wasn’t personally interested but the acting was phenomenal.

alright now to remake-specific comments.

SKAM, the original, the og, love of my life, scandi legend that started this obsession

- honestly one of the best teen shows i’ve ever seen. the development of characters is so prominent. the acting, for mostly amateur teenagers, is mind blowing. maybe american shows just suck? but i’m absolutely in love with every character. they show such realistic stories and i applaud the skam team + actors for portraying their stories so well.

- the one comment i have is the noorhelm relationship. i just? i don’t like it. when i first watched skam i loved it. noora was hilarious (still think that) and the perfect independent woman model. i also liked william. i just wished they showed more of his vulnerability because his kind of static character is not doing it for me. he doesn’t show any evolution or change. idk, he’s still a wet fish in my eyes. obv this has no shade to the actors, thomas hayes is lovely. his character? not so much. i could write a whole essay on how flawed and dislikable william is.

now, the first remake: skam france

skam france, oui oui baguettes this remake really tickles my fancy

- as someone who kind of understands french, i really do like this remake. i have some issues with s1 and s2 but overall it is a solid remake. being the first, it makes sense for the seasons to seems little unoriginal. i still love emma and manon but their characters aren’t very authentic.

- s3 is where they really nailed it. elu’s immense popularity is only a testament to how truly wonderful the season is. the acting, the characters, slight changes in plot. i loved it. a lot.

- i wasnt impressed by s4 but it might just be my extreme love for iman meskini. no one could ever replace her.

- BUT S5. OH BOY. ROBIN. MY BABY. he is such a good actor and i love arthur he MUST be protected! i love that his shame is not romantically related. also as someone who is interested in deaf culture wow! i’m impressed by the research done by skam france. not only is his the first original season but it is excellently executed. noee is my mother i love her.

druck, likely the most liked remake to which i do not disagree with that statement

- druck is legendary. i really appreciate the small changes in plot and character dynamics that create an identity for each remake and druck is so so good at doing that. mia’s season is lovely and so is matteo’s, as well as the other two. i did not finish amira’s season as wtfock s3 started and i was a little too invested in that haha but i liked what i saw. the mia/noora drama annoyed me but it was okay. i saw it in the way how we all beg for evak/elu/nicotino/etc content in later seasons but then complain when noorhelm/jonas and eva content occur in later seasons, which is weird at best or just fetishization of gay couples at worst. take ur pick. i like it when previous plot lines kind of intertwine into the current ones as it shows that people’s shakes are not temporary and have immense effects on others (which is the point of skam, right?

skam italia, the controversial remake that said bye and then uno-reversed itself (thanks netflix)

- a lot of people don’t like skam italia. it’s understandable, as the actress for sana is not a woc or muslim. however, it is slightly understandable (but not defendable, i was way too disappointed when i found this out) given italy and it’s cultural background. it astonished me that they could even produce an isak remake due to their pretty strong religious beliefs. italy is very much roman catholic, and gay marriage isn’t even legal there (this is the only skam where gay marriage is not legalized). so i give them major props to facing potential backlash in producing s2/marti’s season. it makes sense for there to not be a muslim/woc actress because of the demographics in italy. ww1 and ww2 really spun a number on italy’s race, as many jews and romas as well as pretty much any non-italian ethnicity were kicked out. this creates barriers especially when it comes to hiring a woc actress. skam italia is already breaking barriers when it came to controversial topics (literally all of skam would be controversial in italy’s alt-right view, it seems). tl;dr: kudos for being able to produce a pro-gay show but shame for not being able to hire a woc actess.

- i loved marti’s season as was a fan of the other two seasons. they’re well produced and beautiful and more dramatic than the other skams imo! the soundtrack is absolutely gorgeous.

skam austin, the american cousin no one seems to like that really lives up to the american stereotype

- ok. when i first saw austin/the fact that they made an american remake, i hated it. disgusting. i hâte america as it is. it was cringey, the acting was bad (i’m sorry i’m sorry), and it got rid of the charm that skam had.

- when i watched it a second time around, i changed my mind. i think grace’s season redeemed it a lil bit. it’s living proof that skam remakes must be watched twice or more to fully formulate an opinion. it’s still cringey but i mean, it’s very accurate to american culture. i’m ashamed to say that i, an american, have said many phrases that austin has used.

- skam austin isn’t THAT bad as people make it out to be. i think americans esp are uncomfortable with a skam from their own culture, myself included. and it’s fine to not vibe with it and prefer other skam remakes. i think the actors are okay, better when i saw it the second time, and the editing/music/videography is beautiful (ofc julie andem is a part of it). people give it crap for being american.

skam nl, may she rest in peace or pull an italia and 180 us

- man i was so depressed when i heard that lucas vdh was not getting his season. lucas is downright one of my favorite isak remakes and his story would’ve been so interesting.

- besides that, skam italia has one of the best eva seasons. it is my favorite and is usually a lot of others favorites as well. isa is just so relatable. liv’s season is also incredibly well produced. i didn’t hate noah! it was a miracle come true. he redeemed the william character if only for one remake.

- my one comment/critic isn’t even that serious. it’s just? dutch? it sounds so...weird. i’m a stupid american but i cracked up at things that were definitely NOT jokes because of the language. i’m sorry netherlands/holland i do not mean to laugh.

skam españa, also controversial for good reasons but also conflictingly good

- alright folks. i am confused with skam españa. i don’t know if i love it or like it.

- hear me out. we all know of the controversy with the panphobic comment that nora made. it was stupid and uncalled for and really disrespected the whole pan community of viewers. now, not many people are pan but for a show where an original character (even bech næsheim, love of my life) is canonically pan? it was kind of a slap to the face.

- besides the comment i loved cris’ season. it was refreshing to get an isak season where it was a she, one, and where isak was not living with his eskild but instead had a family. it was also beautifully shot and i love irene with my entire heart.

- that said, i liked eva’s season. nora’s season is interesting. maybe it’s because it’s the first i’ve watched multiple seasons live (españa and france) and have no attention span and is more interested in skam france s5? idk. the clips aren’t really doing it for me. i love the viri clips but the nora clips are eh. she just seems very...in genuine? idk. i also hate miquel get his ugly ass out of here. i can’t fully analyze the season until it’s over but i’m not really interested in it. i also don’t like the noorhelm plot or dynamic at all so that may be it.

wtfock, or another controversial remake that imo shouldn’t be controversial

- wow. i love wtfock. s1 was rocky and i wasn’t sure of how it would be. s2 SLAPPED ME THRU THE ROOF. god i love senne de smet so much. zoë is actually redeemable??? and oh my god milan is my favorite eskild like please adopt me.

- season 3 was the first one i watched live. i arrived to the skam scene late so i didn’t get to experience march madness aka 5 live skams at once and i wish i did. but wow. willem ds and willem h really are one of the main reasons why wtfock s3 did so well. they’re amazing actors with incredibly chemistry.

- the controversy that imo should be controversy: the gay bashing scene. i was surprised at the backlash. people were upset over the fact that they showed such...intense events without immediate remediation. it’s understandable to be mad but? they were criticizing things that had no correlation with the scene, like the willems’ acting or the music picked. it was very wild. they also did a lot of bitching about how lgbt people should see gay bashing because it’ll bring back bad memories and that skam was for the gays only and should cater for only lgbt people. which i heavily disagree with. 1) gay bashing in media is so prevalent and downright important. things can’t be fluffy gay all the time. this happens in real life and does such a great complement to noor’s comment about how no one cares that robbe is gay because it’s 2019. THAT. IS. SO. IMPORTANT. it’s so so important to realize that despite the strides made for lgbt people, gay bashing and violent homophobia. still. exist. also. i would like to direct you to these examples of gay bashing where no one blinked an eye : queer as folk, where s1 justin gets bashed in at his prom and has difficulties drawing; s2 (i think? may be s1) skam españa where lucas rubio gets bashed; skam s4 where even and isak encounter a homophobic dick; these examples are endless. the one thing that miffed me the most was that many critics acted as if they were forced to watch wtfock and therefore criticize its every move. like no? you have a choice? no one is forcing you. quite the opposite! wtfock is geoblocked! you’re actually forcing yourself because you’re taking the time to find illicit resources in order to watch it! alright man i’m done with this rant. many also criticized the writing of the show. it was shaky but watching it a 2nd time, where all clips were released, was so much better when it came to clarity. many ‘poor writing choices’ made sense in the larger picture. again another example that you should watch skam remakes twice to understand the big picture.

- tl;dr wtfock is lovely and should not be criticized for one wrong move.

thank u for hearing me out. i have strong opinions but a frail heart. pls be nice!

[dkettchen]

BLACK MIRROR S5E1 “STRIKING VIPERS” E X P L A I N E D

-with the help of gender and game theory-

Y’all asked for it so here we go

Some things before we start: -If you were watching the episode looking for gay/trans shit, and got disappointed, I’m sorry but I can’t help you because that’s just not what the episode was about and that is ok. It explored some aspects of queer experience, and the limbo between queer and cis-straight experience, that isn’t usually addressed in such an honest and indepth way, which I think is just as important as trans or gay rep.  -I will focus my analysis on the core theme of what certain academics writing about androgyny call the “moment of transgression” so in this case the question of ‘what is Karl/Roxette’s deal & what does that mean for Danny/Lance’s feelings toward and interactions with them?’. -CW: transphobia, homophobia, toxic masculinity, (rpg) uncanny valley stuff, you get it, you know what subjects we’ll be talking about here. 

Now!

I’d like to start by pointing out the title “Striking Vipers” to get the phallus talk out of the way right off the bat x’D: It’s a very blatant penis metaphor, and Vipers specifically are venomous, so represent toxic masculinity. The image of them striking signals danger. The repetition of phallic symbols represents the threat of castration (see medusa turning them bois to stone & the heroic masculinity of the mirror shielded boi who managed to defeat her), which to phallocentric masculinity is the scawiest thing there is (losing the phallus = losing manhood = death?? I guess??). Striking Vipers means that toxic masculinity, by nature, is a threat to itself. (I could talk for hours about the exact warped logic of phallocentricity but Imma spare y’all cause I don’t think it’s relevant for this, I’d even go as far as saying this episode was anti-phallic (which I use here as a more inclusive word for “feminist”, as the episode’s core is about two guys, but still focused on them experiencing and embracing feminine power and freeing themselves from phallocentricity(/patriarchy)’s grasp, just like “what men want” was preoccupied with the toxic masculinity of its female protagonist)) That sets up the kind of horror the episode will be about, the male fear of castration, of loss of identity, of having to face the fact that traditional masculinity is toxic even to the people who conform to it. 10/10 title choice.

Next up: the core question of what label to put on Karl and Danny’s VR interactions (‘Fellas, is it gay to fuck ur best friend in a lady body in VR?’). Which leads to the first question which is: what gender is Karl when he’s playing as Roxette?  An essentialist might say: ‘Well he’s a man irl so he’s still a man even if he plays with a female avatar. Danny’s attraction to him is either him being trapped or just plain old gay.’ But I don’t think that’s the case. It’s not a trap scenario (have some videos on traps and how they’re not real actually: (x.), (x.)), because both people involved know the exact parameters of the situation. Danny knows this is Karl in Roxette’s body, there’s nothing hidden, no misunderstanding to be had here. I also don’t think it’s gay because if it was this would’ve happened irl or with two male avatars, but it only happened once one of them was in a female avatar, that was the change that made it happen. It’s not a fetishising phallic/trans women scenario either, because it’s the opposite, it’s a man’s mind in a woman’s body. There’s no doubt about Karl being a man irl, a queer man sure, but definetely a man. He’s just too into -womanhood while playing her for me to say he’s still male when he’s in that form, like Karl as Roxette isn’t a trans guy as a man’s mind in a female body usually would be (like f.e. Ranma 1/2), I also don’t think Karl as Roxette is an androgyne/non-binary/third term either, because again, he’s embracing her womanhood and the role that comes with it, to the extreme that is hetero PiV sex, too much. I’d argue what we see is the closest to the liberation and euphoria described by other queer men when doing drag, she’s just a more extreme version of drag, of crossplaying, making the fantasy real, wearing not only the clothes of a woman but the body too. Roxette as Karl’s avatar is an alter ego, who is female, so -on the risk of sounding like the biggest performativist since Judith Butler- Karl as Roxette presents as female, so, for all intents and purposes, is female in that moment, regardless of his irl persona maintaining his male gender outside of that. 

But that wasn’t what we wanted to know, was it. Because even if, in the moment that Karl plays Roxette, we can say that person is female, that doesn’t eliminate the fact that Karl, outside of that, isn’t and that he’s still the one playing her. It’s the notion of how the player/actor/performer and avatar/character/persona aren’t the same thing and can have different relationships with someone in real life vs in the game, and how that can be confusing to think about because there is no clear line between the two, something that is called “bleed” in ludology(/game studies, from lat. ludus: game or school; referring to the gladiator schools in like the colosseum), despite their relationships being fundamentally different (in this case friendship irl vs passionate love in game).  Take TAZ as an example: The McElroys are related, but in playing a trpg, the DM, usually Griffin, takes up the mantle of all NPCs in the game world, including love interests. Griffin played Julia, Kravitz, and Danny (different Danny lol), but he’s talking to his brother, except he isn’t, is he, cause it’s not Griffin talking and it’s not his brother responding, it’s two characters interacting. A similar uncanny valley can be found in actor/character bleed: Take Ludi and Pom (the actors for Lance and Roxette) in this one: like 80% of their screentime was spent making out or having fake sex. These actors aren’t dating (as far as I’m aware lol), this is their job, to fake love each other on screen, imagine having to do that with a coworker you feel nothing for. It’s the characters that feel something and you have to play that feeling (which is so meta at that point, they’re playing characters that are avatars being played by characters in the show). Also, talking of role-playing, can we appreciate the scene of Danny & Theo at the bar where they’re role-playing and she’s like that was hot and he’s like mental note bae’s into role-playing, because DAMN that foreshadowing of the erotic potential of roleplay as a concept.

But it’s not role-playing really either with Danny and Karl, is it? They’re playing in avatars other than themselves but they’re not fully a different person. They still very much feel the same just in a different form. Their emotions are real even though they might only apply to part of their experience, the in-game part. Yet they obviously take them seriously and personal and get influenced by them outside the game. Maybe the question is what is and is not role-playing? Where does the bleed start and end, and do we even need to know the answer to those questions? They answer those questions for themselves in the end by testing out their feelings irl to see if they track or not, fully ready for both possibilities (which 10/10 character development love it). They want clarity. It’s about the emotional limbo fantasy brings with it. It’s the same question “Are traps gay” is about. (Not the “Is it ok to feel attracted to androgynous ppl” one necessarily, but) “Does feeling attracted to the fantasy mean you feel attracted to the “real” thing underneath?” Are the feelings for the fantasy alone or also for the reality? Are they only applicable to the latter and does that change something about what you thought you knew about yourself? It’s a question about the fringe edges of limited/monosexuality and the very fabric of reality. 

Let’s return to Karl to look at his experience as Roxette. We’ve established that she is female, but what is Karl while playing her? In the spirit of queer drag as liberating, it’s almost like he’s taking a break from being Karl when playing as her. Drag, crossplay, or this extreme version of it, functions as a break from the toxicity and limitations of traditional gender roles (so in this case traditional masculinity). It is freeing, though what does it free? Some genderless spirit inhabiting each person? But then how do you explain the firm gender identity lots of people, including for all we know Karl, experience in everyday life? As a trans person I know that there is SOMETHING to gender on some level that can create gender dysphoria (social and/or physical) for people when put in a body they don’t identify with. As a drag performer, trpg enthousiast, and notorious crossplayer, I know that taking a break from that reality and being somebody else can be relieving, a break from your own problems. So what is that part of us that translates into fantasy? I feel like this goes into transhumanist territory which I don’t know enough about to even attempt to provide an answer. I think what it comes down to in terms of gender theory is, this is a situation at the height of where performativism is true and relevant. There is a relativity to the nature of reality and gender itself. Whatever base essence there is that causes gender dysphoria at a mismatch between outside and inside, doesn’t apply here. Both notions (of essential and performative gender) are real and have an impact on people but neither is always the case and neither is never the case. They’re not mutually exclusive. 

So, seeing as it seems impossible to pinpoint what gender Karl/Roxette qualifies as (other than all and/or none), let’s look at the nature of Danny/Lance and Karl/Roxette’s interactions and feelings toward those interactions and each other to try and contextualise what label(s) they might fit under.  The desire on Danny’s side when faced with Roxette’s form shows itself in a way he’d never feel toward Karl. That visual change, and the social changes it brings with it (in gender role), makes it so extreme, because it pairs the parts of his friend he appreciates and enjoys (personality and whatever deeper connection a close friendship brings with it), with a form that is attractive to him. That change translates to Karl too. In playing with this new form that has a different role and a different effect on someone he’s known for so long, he flows into that, melts into this new persona and lives it up! The way they interact in game isn’t gay. It is very much reflecting how straight attraction and female sexuality works. On one hand it’s based in undeniable difference (hetero = different), and on the other hand Karl/Roxette’s enjoyment thereof is based in being desirable, in having that power of seduction just by existing, that notion of feminine power and the freedom that comes with it. It’s not autogynephilia, that would imply he gets off on the idea of himself as a woman, which is not the case, he gets off on being desired as a woman, which is what female sexuality is about (source: ContraPoints’ Autogynephilia video (which I recommend, it’s very good))

Still whenever Karl tries to get Danny to keep having VR sex with him/Roxette, he talks about her in 3rd person, like a persona. In saying “it’s just like porn” he poses something that is very much a different activity (acting out the porn by -doin’ it-) as a homosocially (social as opposed to sexual/romantic) acceptable one (watching porn together which I’ve been told is a thing). He attempts to differentiate himself from his female persona and enjoyment there-of (by objectifying her, like a porn actress to be watched rather than identified with), himself and Danny from the queerness (in enjoying femininity and in Danny being down with basically fucking a drag-queen) and to retreat back into heteronormative traditional masculinity, away from the scawy unknown of exploring your sexuality. His internalised homo- and transphobia makes him suppose that Danny, as a supposed straight guy, will only respond to the safety of assured non-queerness, which, honestly, I don’t think is the case with him. Karl supposes his cancelling on him and not wanting to do it anymore is out of the fear for his sexual identity or whatever, but from what I can tell, while Danny also seems to be rather confused about what it all means, the reasons he cancels their nightly sessions, and rejects Karl/Roxette, are always about not wanting his marriage to fall apart. He quite clearly prefers hot VR sex to hanging out with his wife, and cancels out of duty to her rather than fear. Even the first time they kiss, Karl is the one to freak out first. Danny seems much calmer about the attraction part of the situation, to the point of in the end being the one to take initiative and make them try it out irl to put an end to the confusion.

The episode hits hard because it takes the way men play video games and brings it to its logical conclusion. Video games are mens safe-space, and they do play with that playful flirty banter. The show takes that and makes it real, including taking it to its extreme conclusion that is -doin’ it-. It infiltrates the male safe space by taking normalised behaviour, and taking it so far that it puts traditional masculinity and heteronormative attraction in question, the very thing the safe space was supposed to protect them from. That’s why it’s existentially horrifying for the main characters (and viewers that identify with them) and qualifies as a black mirror episode even without having a homo-/trans-/biphobic ending (like other media that put traditional masculinity in question usually do, not to mention all the horror based in queer-coding) 

Hope y’all enjoyed this journey into a bit of mind-bending game and gender theory! Pls don’t expect me to do this like ever again bc I need to go work on my actual essay rip x’D