#also some justice for Tai Lung as well

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

Not me making two people have the major feels exchanging ideas on Discord for KFP4 cause we were all disappointed with how it ended up being and showing them an idea I came up with in a single hour.

[alleycatchitchat]

Kung Fu Panda 4 Initial Reactions

Just got back from the theater! Here are my thoughts. I'll try to be vague about the plot, but be warned: spoilers below.

---

So I went into the theater with rock-bottom spirits. I had seen the cringeworthy previews, read the disheartening reviews, connected the unsatisfactory dots and concluded that the movie I was about to see would be a nasty dumpster fire of a train wreck. And yet kfp played such a big role in my childhood that I couldn't just stay away. Filled with dread and morbid curiosity, I braced myself for the worst.

And it wasn't that bad.

Don't get me wrong; this movie made some decisions that I HUGELY disagree with. And compared to the other kfp movies, it's undeniably lousy. But it didn't ruin the franchise for me and I actually enjoyed myself in the theater.

Listing off my thoughts in no particular order:

Zhen. She is, to my surprise, a lot less irritating that I expected. The trailers don't do her justice and Awkwafina's voice was a whole lot less jarring than I expected. In terms of actual personality and even backstory, I liked her! However. Let's be honest, her design is shit. She looks like someone's Zootopia self-insert. She feels totally out of place in this movie -- particularly, during the end credits when she's side-by-side with the five (who all have the most beautiful stylized designs). Also, plotwise, WHAT is she doing in this film? Spoiler alert: she becomes the new dragon warrior. Spoiler alert again: yes, this is every bit as random and undeserved as you can imagine.

Furious Five: Were not in the movie. First of all, fuck you dreamworks, how dare you withold my children? My darlings? The loves of my life? Their absence is keenly felt and the plot is emptier without them, and I mean that with complete sincerity. I’m also going to point out the obvious; if there has to be a new Dragon Warrior, and I’m not saying that’s a good plot idea, but if there has to be, it should be Tigress. It makes the most sense thematically and the possibilities are just so good – developing her relationship with Po as he provides guidance, facing her feelings of inadequacy, exploring her connections with Shifu and the rest of the five — I could go on and on. The wasted potential is breathtaking. To be honest, it kinda feels like Zhen was written to replace her(using a hug to de-escalate a fight with Po, anyone?). Fanfic writers, I need a rewrite of this movie with Tigress, stat.

TAI LUNG! He was obviously played for nostalgia and there was no concrete point to his lines or presence. He was also written, if you ask me, pretty out of character. I’m still fuming over the fact that they brought him back and we don’t get to see Shifu’s reaction at all. Again, the wasted potential is breathtaking. When compared with Kai and Shen, who have NO speaking lines, it’s obvious that dreamworks just didn’t want to pay for extra actors. I thought that his acceptance of Po as the Dragon Warrior at the end was super cool, but there was NO lead up, NO meaningful character development to make this feel sincere, and again, it would have hit much harder if Tigress or Shifu were also there or if Po was NOT giving up the title. That being said, I never thought he would appear in a movie again, and I’m happy to have any crumbs I can get. They did a bad job, yes, but they BROUGHT HIM BACK. 

Po’s dads! Their side story was goofy and unnecessary but fun, and I enjoyed it. Also maybe it’s just me but the romantic tension between them is AMPED UP – does Li, like, live at the restaurant now? And they spend the movie acting like the most married couple ever. And when Li bursts into the tavern to rescue Mr. Ping, who looks at him with those starstruck eyes – well. I’m just saying. I think there’s something going on there.

I liked the Chameleon! Yeah, her whole gimmick is a little bit ripped off from Kai, but she’s sinister and greedy and badass, so she’s the real deal. I actually thought she was scarier than previous villains – there was less comic relief, maybe? I can only think of one instance where she’s presented in a comedic light, and even then, the tension just picked right up from where it left off. Which is strange, because the rest of the movie is a lot more lighthearted than previous films.

The pacing was weird. Too fast.

Shifu was cute in this movie. More Shifu please!

The reaction to Tai Lung’s return was WEIRD. It’s obvious Dreamworks didn’t want to dedicate time or effort to what was, essentially, a red herring. But. Plot-wise, it’s SO WEIRD that Po would try to face him with no backup. And the fact that we didn’t get to see Shifu’s reaction AT ALL, ugh. Realistically speaking I think Shifu would try to go face Tai Lung, no matter how “inner peace”-y he is now. Like come on, Tai Lung was his son, for crying out loud! 

The goats at the start? Also weird designs. Feel out of place.

Mantis got married! What the heck? (neutral about this, but it was definitely unexpected.)

In general, the plot was weird. It didn’t feel meaningful and it didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the kfp universe. Storytelling decisions were just plain bad. But as a standalone movie, it was not… terrible. Not irredeemable. I think, if Tigress had taken Zhen’s place, this could have actually worked. But she didn’t, and it didn’t.

So I’m going to headcanon it as fake and just stick to loving the first 3 movies. I don’t regret watching it, but there were huge problems that prevented me from enjoying it to its full potential.

[tranquilskies2]

Tai Lung as the White Tiger of the West

The White Tiger (also known as "Baihu" or: "白虎") is one of the five celestial guardians. She represents the cardinal direction of the west, autumn season and the element of metal from the five elements. As the queen of animals, she symbolizes protection and justice. One of her most famous legends is that whenever a tiger turns 500 years old, they gain white fur. Another famous legend is that the White Tiger will only appear when an emperor rules with absolute virtue and prosperity in the world.

One of the White Tiger's most extraordinary abilities is the ability to shapeshift. Legends say that she was granted this power by the Yellow Dragon. However, she usually prefers to remain in her default beast form. She is well-known for incredible physical strength, stamina & durability. In some legends, the White Tiger can control the wind.

Symbolizing the military, bravery and power, the White Tiger is typically shown in ancient army flags, banners and seals. Thus, she's strongly associated with China's military force and the protector of soldiers, warriors and generals. Some famous Chinese war generals are believed to be reincarnations of the White Tiger. She gains the most popularity during the Han dynasty. She appears in ancient city gates and tomb doors to ward off evil spirits. Her star appears in the novel "Tales of the Tang Dynasty" as a reincarnation of one of the major characters.

One of the main features the White Tiger and Tai Lung share is powerful physical strength. These two felines are both known to be one man armies who can take down hundreds all on their own. They also both have strong association with warriors and battles. Tai Lung's dedication to hard work can be tied similarly to the legend of tigers turning white when they turn 500 years old. One notable visual similarity they both share is the depiction of blue flames. Blue fires are known to be hotter than red fires.

One big difference between the White Tiger and Tai Lung is the usage of strength and power. The White Tiger strives to use her power to repel evil spirits and protect the innocent. Tai Lung uses his power purely for his own goals no matter the cost. The White Tiger understands the responsibility that comes with her goals while Tai Lung went on a rampage as a response to rejection.

As a celestial guardian, Tai Lung interacts with mortals the least out of others. Thus, he's regarded as the most aloof and mysterious since there isn't a whole lot written about him compared to the others. His appearances are so elusive, there is a legend where he'll be seen only when the emperor brings peace to the entire world. He mainly favors solitary time and is mostly focused on training. Sometimes, he'll meditate. On a rare occasion where he does interact with a mortal, it'll be a commander or general who highly worships him and is in need of army morale. Although Tai Lung's rare appearances are typically regarded as good luck, many mortals who have claimed to have seen seen him described him as:"scary", "terrifying" and "frightening".

-Relationships with the other celestial guardians-

Po, the Yellow Dragon of the Center:"He's the most powerful out of all of us. I have to admit, I once was extremely jealous of Po for being more powerful than me. However, he's the glue keeping us all together, so I eventually came to respect him. Besides that, I find it nice with how laid-back he is and admittedly, he's amusing whenever he's excited about something. Sometimes, we spar with each other. Although he wins most of the time, I still respect him. We occasionally hang out together at restaurants and bars. We even exchange jokes between each other. Overall, he's an admirable, wise close friend who is worthy as the center of the universe."

Chameleon, the Azure Dragon of the East:"That blue lizard is fun to tease sometimes. She can be pretty funny whenever she's mad. A long time ago, I sometimes challenged her for the position of leadership. However, she won fair and square each time and I find her skills and abilities to be commendable. She also highly admires my power and strength, which I do appreciate her for. We also sometimes spar together or use the hot springs together. Although I'm not a big fan of tea, I enjoy the taste of the black tea she makes."

Kai, the Black Tortoise of the North:"Ah, a quick-witted, clever war tactician in the battle field and in games. I'm always keen on his stories of his times on battlefields. He's a great guy who can easily make me laugh. We spar and have drinking contests together. One of our favorite things to do together is playing xiangqi together. His house is surrounded by rivers and lakes. I can't help but feel relaxed whenever I go to his house."

Shen, the Vermilion Bird of the South:"We don't usually hang out together alone. That pretty bird of flames can be a bit stuck up and vain sometimes. He'll say he's 'filthy' because a drop of tea stained one of his hundreds of robes. However, he does create spectacular firework displays, I'll give him that. It's nice that we can both agree on something sometimes."

<<Shen as the Vermilion Bird | Po as the Yellow Dragon of the Center>>

-Sources-

https://tiger-universe.com/blogs/tiger-blog/why-the-tiger-is-so-popular-in-japan?srsltid=AfmBOoruhO-ILcQQEdbaUTZ69je-FgWMm5Do1P38uNLfmbM71Y8UCcz4

https://english.visitbeijing.com.cn/article/47ONIK3WHho

https://www.chinafetching.com/mythology-in-china

https://thoth-adan.com/blog/five-heavenly-beasts

https://mythlok.com/the-mystic-quartet-the-four-symbols-of-china/

http://en.chinaculture.org/focus/focus/2010spring/2010-01/26/content_367602.htm

[grassbreads]

I finished Silent Reading!!

Overall I'd say that I liked and had fun with it despite my criticisns, but it has some pretty noticeable problems. This is the second priest novel I've read after Tai Sui, and I knew it wasn't going to live up to my utter adoration of TS, but I'd still say that Mo Du was pretty notably not as good. It's a fun novel! But it's good rather than amazing.

On the positive side, I really enjoyed Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du's whole dynamic. It wasn't the most romantic romance I've read, and I could nitpick how I feel about their end state, but they're always a ton of fun to watch going back and forth. I especially enjoyed their book 3 "flirty game of chicken" era, as well as their more fraught confrontations in book 4. "I’d really love nothing better than to dig out your evil heart and rotten lungs and have a look" remains one of the most brilliantly insanity-inducing lines of dialogue that I have ever read.

Lang Qiao, Tao Ran, and Xiao Haiyang all made for very charming side characters, and the mysteries themselves were interesting. I also love the choice to work literary references into the novel in such a big way. I was *thrilled* when I started book 2 and realized what priest was doing with the book titles.

There really is a lot to like about Mo Du, and priest tells a great story with Fei Du. Watching a character intent on destroying himself be pulled from a dark path and manage to exact an almost perfect revenge while remaining unsullied is, uh, really satisfying. It's fun to watch the forces of justice be victorious!

However, as is the case with any ultimately pro-police story that tries to tackle the failings of the justice system, it feels like it bit off more than it could resolve thematically. The conspiracy has been unwound and the crooked cops have been exposed, but the novel makes a legitimate point about the failings of the police to really help people, especially early on, and the ending does not fully fix that problem. Things are definitely better than they were when the story ends. Fei Du is a rich man that likes to spend his money helping victims, and Lwz and his team are all very dedicated to bringing justice no matter the cost. But I don't think it's realistic to say that Lwz's people will somehow solve every crime in Yan city, or that no victim will ever be tossed by the wayside again. It just feels like there's this terrible looming extant problem in the background that neither priest or the characters can recognize.

Fei Du gets his happy ending and catharsis, and the victims of the Zhangs and Fan Siyuan get some version of justice in the end, but the problems of the justice system as presented in the story simply cannot be fixed.

Like I said, this is ultimately a failing that the story was bound to have, given that it's both pro-police to a large degree and concerned with how the justice system fails people, but I still feel it's worth pointibg out. Not to mention the overall copaganda-ness of how LWZ and his team are portrayed.

Besides my beef with police narratives, I also think that the mysteries in this one may have gotten a bit too convoluted for their own good at times. The crimes in Silent Reading are a complex fucking web, and keeping track of everything that happens would require following a near unfathomable number of tiny details over a long (540k) novel. Once we hit a certain point, I just had to accept that I wasn't going to be able to follow the details of the mystery or figure anything out for myself, which isn't necessarily what you want from a crime novel.

Also, as much as I enjoyed Fei Du, there were some points where I felt his backstory kinda failed to land. I think I'm honestly just spoiled by VnC at this point. Vanitas is a character with a truly horrific backstory and a bonkers personality, but it never feels like too much because every horrible thing in his past is reflected so well in his present traits (and vice versa). For Fei Du, on the other hand, his past sometimes felt like a little much. He's obviously going thru it in the present, but not quite a degree of fucked up that could sell me on the sheer insanity that is the whole metal ring situation.

Also, as I've complained about previously, I don't love how this novel treats women. I don't like how things ended with Yang Xin, and though I ended up enjoying Lang Qiao, I'm bothered by how she's basically the only woman that's relevant through the whole novel (compared to just SO many dudes).

Overall, a solid 6 or 7 out of 10. A lot of fun and very interesting, and it does have some compelling thematic things to say, but there were aspects which I found very much frustrated me. I might recommend it to anyone who likes Tai Sui and wants to see an interesting Zhou Ying precursor, as well as anyone who really likes mystery and crime novels with super intricate, complicated plotlines. However, I only make that recommendation if you promise to take the novel's portrayal of good policemen with a MASSIVE grain of salt lmao. I cannot stress enough the degree to which the portrayal of LWZ and his team ends up being copaganda-ish, even if that's unintentional.

[kervinredfire]

My Other Fanfics in the Future

Well, I made announcements about my 2 Loonatics fanfics-related stories coming soon. So here are my other fanfics that I am making. But before I am going to show you my other fanfics, I like to share what most of them are like. Kervinverse related. If you checked my Tumblr header it's pretty obvious.

As you may wonder what is the Kervinverse is all about? The Kervinverse is like the multiverse but with all different kinds of Kervin. Inspired by Spiderman Into the Spiderverse all the versions of Kervin contained different personalities, stories, almost the same appearance, fighting styles, and special abilities. One of the most signature outfits is the black and red formal suit.

I already made a folder in toyhouse. However, most of it are unfinished and still ongoing.

https://toyhou.se/Kervin619/characters/folder:812137

People think that those stories a self-insert but it is actually not. Me and my other Kervins are the same but they are different the appearance, abilities, and personalities. An example is Denk Ops’s Chris Danger from the WWE games. And note that this is another long announcement for the other fanfics

So anyway, here are my Kervinverse stories that I would really like to share about Wattpad in the future. So are book covers later

KERVINVERSE STORIES (Including crossovers):

Grand Theft Auto Origins: Kervin Made Liberty – Set in the GTA HD Universe. Before Kervin (GTA Online) came to the place called San Andreas, he was just a very young boy who was born in the place called Liberty with his parents. His father Claude who became rich and retired to a life crime and his wife Misty who used to be a prostitute. It was normal and happy life for him and his parents. But when years passed when he is getting older, he slowly starts to realize what kind of broken world he is living in.

Now for those who played the HD Universe of the GTA Games you know every protagonist in the HD universe like Niko, Johnny, Luis, Michael Franklin, and Trevor. As much as they have different stories and perspectives but this story about GTA OC that he was living with full of offensiveness, disrespectfulness, brutal honesty, and others. An example in GTA IV a radio commercial of Babies Overnight that said that someone was not satisfied with the baby it can be disposed of. Although it would be interesting to have that backstory for my next OC for GTA. So, this story may contain a lot of murder and crimes on what led to him going to San Andreas. So, watch out. And for those who have not played GTA Online why his parents are both Claude and Misty is because it was part of the premium edition for free in Epic Games.

Def Jam X Kung Fu Panda: Book 1 Fight for A New Fight (maybe a working title) - After the events of Def Jam Vendetta, Fight For New York, and The Kung Fu Panda Trilogy including Legends of Awesomeness. Set during Paws of Destiny Season 2 in the Kung Fu Panda universe while in Def Jam 2 years later in the year 2005 after Crow's death (Fight for NY still takes place in 2003) Kervin (Def Jam Fight For NY) the new leader D-Mob's crew but also officially known as the Def Jam Crew after Blaze appointed him to take his place. Kervin has to manage every venue, club, and arenas in New York including places that Crow took over. But in Chinese New Year there was something strange that Kervin and his crew got transported to a different universe. Including former members, fighters, and circuit fighters.

Now, this fanfiction sounded really odd. As you may know why I am making crossover fanfic of Kung Fu Panda X Def Jam? Easy. The first one is because this is what would have been my PS2 games if I ever have a PS2. I was thinking of Mortal Kombat or Yakuza for Def Jam but Kung Fu Panda is the only thing I know when I was 7 years old. The second is because back in the days Hip Hop mixed with Kung Fu was very popular. Although Def jam may be a wrestling game martial arts stole my heart in Def Jam Fight For NY. I heard about things like the Wu-Tang Clan for example but the biggest problem for me is that I am not a true fan of Def Jam because I don’t know about hip hop artists. Just only the games so I will be focusing on their video game counterparts in their fictitious manner meaning pretending real-life characters with their real name are fictional characters. So, if there and fun facts in those real-life counterparts I may add them to it like easter eggs. The third is that there are Kung Fu Panda characters that did not get enough love and mostly art. So many recognizable characters like Po, Tigress, Tai Lung, and many more have become the most recognizable characters in the movies. But what about the tv shows like Legends of Awesomeness and Paws of Destiny? One of my favorite characters of Legends of Awesomeness is Peng, in short, he is the nephew of Tai Lung and he is such an interesting character that he deserves a lot more love. While for Paws of Destiny is Xiao because she is such a cute character, so is her personality and the best character to have hugs with. So, what I am trying to say is that I need to start off with the character that is unrecognizable then bring it recognizably. I may also add characters from shorts like student Mei Ling in the future book and it would be funny and to see rogue Mei Ling. 2 Mei Lings in one. Even Su and Master Snow Leopard because are both female leopards with the same appearance and outfit. I may also include some characters from the flash game Tales of Po and may possibly rewrite them in different stories because I love the character designs thanks to Blue Maxima’s FlashPoint. And the fourth and final part is that to make the Def jam games more recognizable. Def Jam in music is not absolutely enough but video games are. The Def Jam games did not bring a sequel after Fight For NY so I might as well make a sequel with interesting and experimental crossover fanfic just like The Loonatics Road.

The Red Fox (Kingdom Force Spinoff and maybe a working title) - The Kingdom Force has 5 members defending the 5 Kingdoms. Luka the wolf who leads in red, Jabari who runs in yellow, TJ who drills in green, Delilah who swings in orange, and Norvyn who strengthens in blue. Each of the 5 drives Kingdom Riders and turns them into Alpha Mech to fight against evil in the 5 Kingdoms. But even if they save the day multiple times the 5 Kingdoms are still filled with more crime and every antagonist came back doing other crimes and evil deeds because they were not arrested or eliminated. That's is when a red fox came along...

I have seen popular fandoms in cartoons that were supposed to aim at younger kids like Lion Guard, MLP, Paw Patrol, and even Bluey. But Kingdom Force is the cartoon that did get enough love. It's like Power Rangers and Voltron but with anthropomorphic animals like Zootopia. However, the stories and episodes in the show is very confusing and give me almost a lot of questions. But I do like the character designs in the show. My favorite hero is Luka who is a leader with and cute cuddly character personality and my favorite villain Envie Fernadez which she has a pretty hot design, name and voice and so is her personality. Reminds me of Sly Cooper but I have not played the game yet. But for the red fox also OC Kervin (Kindom Force) It’s still at work.

APB Reloaded X Zootopia: Anyone Can Be All You Can’t Be: - In Zootopia “Anyone Can Be Anything” But in San Paro “Be All You Can’t Be” Zootopia is a place where vicious predators and meek prey live in harmony. This means that people in Zootopia live together without the prey getting eaten by predators and predators not getting feared by the prey. They almost eat like us, they sleep like us, they speak like us, they walk like us, they run like us, they bathe like us (well almost), and most importantly they use technology like us. While San Paro maybe has a good look to sightsee but this city has a lot of crime. Robberies, bombings, thefts, drug dealing, murders and causalities, vandalism, and much more that we can think of. But that does not mean there is no justice in this world. When the Criminals like the Blood Roses and the G-Kings try to take over San Paro? The Enforcers Prentiss Tigers and Praetorians from come and save the day. What would happen when a human Enforcer meets a police fox and a police bunny? And how did it happen? Only one way to find out.

Now this one is also a Kervinverse crossover story. It focuses on Kervin (APB Reloaded) meeting Judy and Nick. I am trying to find a way on how will they meet each other. But the only thing ideas I know is that it can be a delivery gone wrong, an invention gone haywire or maybe a criminal stole something magical that is transported to a different universe. But I have a lot of strange things in the game like the Christmas events and Halloween events. I like to see any volunteers who play APB Reloaded. And for those Zootopia fans who have not played APB Reloaded you check it here. https://store.steampowered.com/app/113400/APB_Reloaded/

Well, that is it for the Kervinverse stories. Now it’s time for the other stories that I also planned in the future.

OTHER FANFICS:

Alza Flare (Road Rovers Fan Spinoff)- Alza is a black cat born in the place in New York City, USA. He was born inside a pet shop without cat parents since he was born. His parents' status is unknown. Although he did make friends with other cats and non-cats in the shop. But it was a short while until a human customer named Drayson Flare and adopted him as Alza Flare. Alza has been Drayson's pet for 3 years and they instantly became best friends but when during the time when they are about to go home from the park. A terrible accident happened.

A long time ago I watched Road Rovers on my phone just to try something nostalgic and the show is pretty good though although there are some parts that don’t use their powers all the time. One part that caught my eye is how brutal car accident in the episode “Dawn of The Groomer” which gave me an idea of my new anti-villain OC character named Alza Flare. Sadly, he does have an image of him yet. But I will tell you that I will give you an interesting revenge story for him.

The Best Surfer In The World (Surf’s Up Spinoff. Maybe a working a title and synopsis change) - After the events of Surf's Up and Surf's Up 2: Wavemania. There was once a wolf who lives in the place of Chicago Illinois. He quit his own career due to being a rejected member of Hang 5 for being too unstable and after beating J.C. in a tournament years ago and after his early retirement, he spends his normal life as an ice cream man in his own ice-cream motorcycle with one of his own freshest ingredients and swears to himself that he would never in the waters again. Until he met a young Toyger.

Surf’s Up is my first favorite mockumentaries since I was young. It’s like you are watching animals andromorphic animals absolutely existed in the world we live in. It had an interesting story and writing so are the interesting characters. But when I watched Surf’s Up Wavemania. Well, I honestly love the WWE Superstars and Diva came into the movie but the story did not actually surprise me a lot. Even if the movie has a lot of beautiful locations it still did not surprise me enough because it is more like an adventure than a tournament. That is why I am planning to start my fanfiction in a new different approach with a real story and a real rivalry. Starting with wolf inspired and based on CM Punk during the part when he won the WWE belt against Cena in Money in the Bank when I watched it since intermediate school with a little rename change so it won’t be obvious. And of course, my Toyger OC because he would be trained by his own surfing master. Also, I added a Slam City easter egg

Fire Pro Wrestling World Origins: Story of 2 Angels – There is no synopsis of them yet. But I will tell you they are brother and sister with the last name “Angel” The brother who is a pop artist while the sister who joined a motorcycle club. What they both have in common is they both can fight. Their stories about my 2 new Fire Pro OCs will be coming soon. But they are not part of the fighting roads.

Well, that is all for all the future stories with some summaries that I really want to share coming soon. Thanks for following including Wattpad

For those who are new here follow me on both Tumblr and Wattpad with the orange word link

Feel free to donate to me in PayPal

Also making fanfic is really long to make just like making an announcement. So again. I only post all chapters in 1 book.

[we-steer-the-ship]

Do you think there could've been a better way LoA could have had the Furious Five be defeated constantly?

Hmmm. That's a good question to think about. One (of the many) issues with LOA is that is depicted our heroes as just...just awful at their jobs. They couldn't defeat any villain at times. Even the bumbling croc bandits caused them trouble.Now, the Furious Five are certainly not invincible in the films either. In the films, we've seen them defeated by Tai Lung, Shen, and Kai. But those were seriously tough enemies.Tai Lung was trained in the same techniques, within the same palace, and by the same teachers as the Furious Five themselves. So he knew what they were capable of, for the most part. He also played mind games, trying to psyche them out. He used methods of intimidation as well. He used every trick in his book in combat against the five. And to top it off, he was also strong as hell.Lord Shen was a brilliant (albeit murderously psychotic) strategist who had an entire army, naval fleet, and weapons cache at his command. He simply barged his way through. When the five stood before him, he shot them with a canon. When they were in his own home, he had the building burned and knocked over. He was ruthless. It was only when the five worked together (with help from Shifu, Ox and Croc) they were able to form a strong counterattack only to then be immediately wiped away by his powerful cannons.Then there was Kai. An enemy like they had never seen before. Sure, Tai Lung and Shen were formidable but they were still mortal. They could be wounded and beaten. But Kai? He was already dead. An immortal warrior who has spent five hundred years planning and training for this day. A warrior who harnessed the powerful chi from some of the greatest kung fu masters of all time. Not only did their chi make him stronger but they also gave him an army of immortal jade zombies who could not be harmed easily. In these instances, we see and understand how the five could fail. They were either overpowered, out numbered, or faced with a form of immortal magic they never knew existed. In these battles, we know and accept their failures because we saw them fight their hardest and give it their all.Now, I went off on a ramble there. But this ties in to LOA because the show was often the opposite in regards to its villains. Sure, there were times when an LOA villain was a truly worthy opponent and we could accept seeing our heroes fail. But more often than not, it just came down to the five being portrayed as stupid, poorly skilled or simply not trying hard enough to take down even the simplest of foes.LOA did not do the five justice. The writers chose to simply have our beloved heroes get their butts kicked every episode with no real rhyme or reason for it, given what we have seen them do before against tougher foes.Honestly, most of the LOA villains wouldn't have lasted a through single fight against any member of the five. Again, there were exceptions to this as LOA did occassionally give good enemies whom truly succeeded because they were stronger or more skilled. But most of the time it just came down to a dumb villain getting lucky because Tigress forgot to take her kung fu pills that day or something.Honestly, its LOA. I'm sure if they could have they would have had an episode about kung fu pills or something ridiculous like that."Oh no! I forgot to take my kung fu medicine today!" said Tigress in a panic. "Now I don't even know how to chop!"Po, confused as all hell, looks at his friend with an expression of pure dumbfounded query, "Its chop. It's like 90% gravity. Gravity does most of the work. My dementia riddled grandmother can chop and she wears her pants on her head every Tuesday."Tigress slumps her shoulders in shame, "I will never be a kung fu master again. I must retire and live out the rest of my days as a housewife to dashingly handsome lobster.""Look out!" Monkey screams, temporarily pulling himself away from making out with his elk girlfriend. A white wolf dressed in red ninja attire leaps into the scene, "I am Kang!" He laughs maniacally. "You're no match for my mighty hammer of mighty mightyness!" He then slams the hammer against Tigress and she falls to the ground."Oh no! Without my kung fu, I have been defeated! Po, you must avenge me!""I am Kang!" Kang repeats again with yet another laugh before running away, escaping the rest of the Furious Five because no one bothered to chase after him because of reasons. As everyone laments Tigress's inability to kung fu, Mr Ping enters the scene throwing handfuls of coupons everywhere. Though he is littering, no one can deny that ten cents off a purchase of noodles sounds like a pretty good deal. And so they all sit down to a nice dinner where they discuss the sidequest they must go on this week to get the mcguffin that will save the day. At least until next week when something else like this happens which requires another random doohickey to solve the problem. But, as always, we will burn that bridge when we get to it.There. I just wrote a new episode of LOA. You made me do this, anon! I feel dirty now.

[extraneousdominomask]

Y’know, back when H&H first started, I went a whole four weeks where I updated every Saturday without fail. The only thing that broke that streak was exams. To this day I’m kinda amazed by that.

I wanted to at least try to do these things weekly, as a testament to that initial regularity. I immediately failed. That says a lot, I think. But let’s waste no more time; on to

Chapter 2: “Clods & Curators”

“I'm just not a fan of this guy's attitude. He's a real menace to nice young policewomen.” “There it is,” said Bentley flatly. “Mystery solved. There's a policewoman.” hue hue Ah yes, the first seeds of heretical romance being sown. I had a lot of fun teasing these ships, even if I never intended to push things too far (I don’t write romance and I especially don’t write love triangles). My one regret? Not enough Sly/Nick and Judy/Carmelita. Followers of this blog will know how I’ve since tried to correct this.

Setting two high-level characters against each other can be a challenge. You don’t want either one to outsmart the other by too much. One of my all-time favourite MCU moments, for example, is when Loki catches Hawkeye’s arrow and smirks... only for it to explode in his face. That’s efficient. They both look badass, even if one “wins”. Point being, I felt I had to have Tai Lung notice he was being followed, even if Sly proves too stealthy for him overall.

rip in peace Alfonso Wilde, 2016-2016 (he was not real)

here comes a special (and erudite and sophisticated) man specifically Black goddamn Panther hi Black Panther So. You may be wondering: why in god’s name is Black Panther in this story? I’ll tell you why. Because I wanted him. Because I needed someone appropriately intelligent to guard a diamond against two master-class criminal gangs at once. And because Black Panther is awesome. Next question. The next question is: where does the surname “Okonkwo” come from? T’Challa seems to just be named that - “T’Challa”. (#royalty) His surname is an alias he once used for some time, itself a reference to the protagonist of Things Fall Apart, which is a very good book I recommend if any of you want to read something that isn’t fanfiction

Notably absent from this chapter? The leader of Okonkwo’s new guards. Very much a sign that I was writing this on the fly; that character was a late addition because I hadn’t yet plumbed the depths of that obsession I’d say it was lucky I chose wolves anyway, but of course I chose wolves. I always choose wolves!

I love the idea of using “primitive” characters in a modern, urban setting. Specifically as a biker gang. They’re wearing denim jackets because leather would raise worrisome questions. (Fun fact from the Zoop artbook: Judy’s uniform is a mixture of neoprene and kevlar for the same reason!) I also re-used the hyenas’ iconic and incredibly awkward means of introducing each others’ names to the audiences, because of course I did

here comes a special (and neurotic, and loud) girl specifically goddamn Peridot hello Peridot!!!!!! So. Why in god’s name is Peridot in this story?! Black Panther is at least, nominally, a panther. Peri’s a holographic space lesbian whose only connection to any animal is that sometimes her face does this

Why is she here?! Well, the same reason anyone else is: I love her, and I wanted to write for her. Plus, she was the perfect fit. I needed someone who could match Bentley’s skills, but would crave approval from her boss. That’s Peridot to a T. The initial pick for the enemy hacker, for about three minutes, was actually Rocket. Yeah, as in Bradley Cooper. But he’s far too crass and volatile to work for this ~mysterious mastermind~ Final note: lynxes actually aren’t all that small. I decided that whatever makes Bellwether so smol compared to other sheep is also going on here

I know I (repeatedly) say I wrote this story from the Zoop side, but one of the primary goals was to write a true crossover; something that feels like a Zootopia story and a Sly Cooper story. So here we see Sly sneak past a(n unobservant) mook, get to a high position, and start takin’ recon photos with his Binocucom.  Also - “Binocucom” never looks right no matter how carefully I spell it

“Most likely a voice modulator, but Sly wasn't prepared to rule out a giant robot.”   I had so much fun with lines like these, which are just references if you know the context and make Sly sound fucking insane if you don’t. The potential for different audience reactions was a unique joy of this story

You know me, I’m a villains guy. I like ‘em ostentatious and visible. But Zootopia kept its antagonist secret for a reason - in this setting, with its Actual Police Force, villains need to either run or hide. I thought having Scar be present while keeping ~the mastermind~ technically a mystery was a nice balance. It’s not much of a secret, but the characters can’t move against him without proof

“Silence! Silence, all of you! I will not tolerate this insubordination!”  sometimes you yourself don’t know what phrases will become important

“Oh, jeez,” he said. “Is he okay?” Tai Lung leapt to his feet suddenly, cold fury in his eyes. “Oh,” said Murray. “Guess so.” Ramming somebody with his van to save his little buddy, but then expressing genuine concern over the person he hit. Just Murray things.

“Just one of those nights, y'know?” added Murray. “One of those, 'Sly might get himself killed 'cause he met a lady' nights...” just Sly things

Man, there was a lot to talk about this chapter. I love Black Panther! And Peridot! And you, for listening to me ramble! Thank you and goodnight!

[starla-nell]

OC Interview

I was tagged by @puppypopcornpizza on the OC Interview. I shared the idea with my friend Rosehip and she was so delighted she’s doing two. She’s not on Tumblr, so I’m posting on her behalf. Here’s the first one, for her Warden Surana. She’s posting very soon on AO3, so now’s a great time to catch up and subscribe! 

This circulated on Tumblr and amused me immensely. Here is a quiz, as Macsen would answer it, the day the Circle Mage origin story wraps up.

What is your name? Macsen Surana

No, seriously, what is your real name? I'm not sure what else you're looking for, here. I don't have a nickname, anymore.

Do you know why you were called that? Already arched eyebrows arch higher. My clan name is Surana. Presumably, my family liked the sound or the meaning of “Macsen.” I haven't seen any of them in years, though, so I can't tell you more than that. I guess “no” would have sufficed.

Are you single or taken? Takenish? I've got something going on, but I don't think we can maintain it since I'm going to war and he's not.

Do you have any abilities or powers? You're probably asking about my magic. I specialize in lightning and entropy. I'm interested in healing, but I'm not very good at it.

I'm better at working with my hands than you'd expect, as well. Whenever Gregoir gets sick of my crap, or, excuse me, (sits up very straight and deepens voice) “Feel you need to suppress your rebellious and prideful inclinations, young man,” he sets me to work repairing things or cleaning.

Stop being a Gary Stu. Are we back to the name thing, again? Do you know something about my past? I'd love to hear it.

What is your eye color? Blue.

How about your hair color? A friend insisted on calling it “brunette”, which I'm pretty sure is Orlesian for brown.

Have you any family members? I- I hope so.

I see... What about pets? We're not supposed to have those. I had a toad for a while. I wanted to keep a hare, but I knew it wouldn't go well. Can Grey Wardens have pets? If they can, I would like that.

Tell me about something you don't like. *Fidgets and glances at nearby fully armed and armored templar.* Nothing comes to mind, really.

Do you have any hobbies or activities that you enjoy doing? I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm out of here today, so what's anyone going to do about it? I love working on repairs in the workshop. There's something about the weight of the tools in your hands and the knowledge that one small thing in the world is less broken and you did it.

Ever hurt anyone before? Not without pretty serious provocation, but yes.

Ever... killed anyone before? I'm not sure how to answer that. No, really! Not, directly, I guess? Do sentinels count?

What kind of animal are you? *Lunges to feet.* How DARE you? You want me to say “rabbit”, don't you? Well, fuck you and your stupid, round ears. I'm as much a person as you are. *Storms off.* *Comes back ten minutes later.* A friend convinced me you probably didn't mean it like that. But, look, you should watch how you talk to people of other races, all right?

Anyway, I'd love it if I could turn into an animal, like a sparrow so I could fly around without anyone noticing. Or... a halla so I could run very fast across the land and carry my friends to safer places. That would be awesome.

Name one of your worst habits. Hand me that weird writing utensil, the one with the button on the back. Clicks the retractable pen four thousand times. Oh, man, where has this thing been all my life? If fidgeting and tapping things is a habit, then there you have it. It's definitely the one that annoys other people the most.

Do you look up to anyone at all? Yes. You might not understand this if all you know of him is what you've seen of him the last day or two, but I look up to Jowan. He just doesn't handle the threat of personal destruction well, all right? He's kind and loves easily, despite the fact that his family abandoned him. Do you know how rare that is? And once you have his love, he'll do anything for you. He'll always try to do the right thing. Maybe that's not the cool answer, but I don't know what I'd have ever done without him.

Sexual orientation? I'm a little puzzled how we got from talking about my brother-in-all-but-blood to sex? I prefer men, yes. I do not look at Jowan in that way.

Do you go to school? *Sighs heavily.* Every moment of every day for the last thirteen years. School, prison. Po-tay-to po-tah-to.

Do you want to marry and have kids one day? That's a very complicated question, do you know that? The short answer is that I would love to have a family of my own, but don't think it is all that likely.

I mean, leaving aside for a minute the fact that I kissed a girl once and it went about how you think, I'm literal property. If I do manage to father a child, the Chantry owns it. Unless being a Grey Warden complicates that? Can Grey Wardens keep their own children? Or, would there be a custody dispute between the Grey Wardens and the Chantry?

Also, I'm going to war.

Anyway, yes, someday I would like to gather around me a variety of people whom I love, and I would like to not have to worry about who has the rights to any of us.

Like I said, not super likely.

What are you most afraid of? *Rubs forehead, glances at templar, again.* Not much, really.

What do you usually wear? Chantry-approved robes. What do you think? Hey, do Grey Wardens get to wear what they want? That'd be great. Because if I get a choice, I'd rather wear something more practical, like leathers, or, well, anything that doesn't drag on the ground.

Do you love someone? Yes, I think so. At least, I do if it's still love when you feel as strongly as you ever did for them, but you know you can't make this work.

What class are you? (Lower, middle, upper?) You probably think this one is easy, too, don't you? According to which culture? The Dalish are all family so we don't really have classes. On the other hand, some claim rank over other elves. (I don't, it's just a different culture, yet again.) Mages are not free, but we're educated beyond most people. In Ferelden society overall, as an elf, I'm inherently lower class, no matter what my personal values are or how much money I ever earn. I... yeah, I honestly don't know.

How many friends do you have? Living or dead? Anyone you still consider a friend, regardless of their current state. One dead, two tranquil, two living, and two living to the best of my knowledge, but elsewhere.

Thoughts on pie? Again, how did we get from my ill-fated friend circle to PIE? I've had pie so rarely, anyway, that I'm not sure I can do the question justice. I remember it being a little too sweet.

Favorite drink? Strong tea, with lemon if I can get it.

What's your favorite place? What part of “until today I was the prisoner of a religious institution” am I failing to get across? The roof, I guess? Ask me again when I've been more places.

Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean? I will have to get back to you on that one, also.

Are you interested in anyone? I thought we covered this?

What's your dick size? *Blushes.* It's in proportion with the rest of me.

Well, what's your type? Are we still talking about my dick? Use your imagination. Uh... actually please stop using your imagination. It's creeping me out a little.

What attracts you? I love a good smile. No, really! I also notice if someone smells good. Look, everyone I know is covered from neck to feet most of the time. I only have so much information to go on, at first.

Any fetishes? <.<  I am not certain what you mean by that.

Seme or uke? Top or bottom? Dominant or submissive? Are you TRYING to get me in trouble? *Pulls sleeves down lower over barely-discernible bruises ringing his wrists.*

Camping inside or outside? OUTSIDE! Oh, my gods, I get to go outside! And we're going to be camping! Outside forever!

Are you wanting this quiz to end? Oh, are we done? Can I go outside now, then?