#also smth actually good happened this morn n i just realized i completely forgot n buried it under all this lovely pain and dissappointment

[samwisefamgee]

Love being reminded that no matter how hard I try or what I do for them that every single person in my family wants me to kill myself so so sooooo bad

[koushisatori]

if you can't believe in others, at least believe in us

kyoutani x gn!reader

genre: as ordered: a bit of angst w a touch of comfort

warnings: one (1) big jealous idiot, miscommunication

word count: 5.4k

note: this is smth an anon asked me to do (but like...nearly a year ago, I'm not sure if anon is still there or if they remember and my dumbass deleted the ask so I just beta-ed through whatever I had but I know they called me out on enjoying jealous characters so here we go) I'm sorry, mysterious anon, I'm stupid </3 Anyway, that's that. I don't remember if reader was supposed to be female or not so I made it gn!reader (but if I forgot to change something, pls tell me so I can fix any errors c: It's also my first attempt I apologize in advance)

In the beginning, you weren't sure why your boyfriend is ignoring you

You can't remember doing something that would annoy him, nor do you remember an instant of anger in his eyes that would give you a hint about his reasoning to stay away from you

He explained early on that sometimes he just needs a day of distance because Kentarou could feel the anger simmering right under the surface, enough that something small could tick him off already, and he would hate if you were on the receiving end of this unexplained fury

Both of you also made sure to promise each other to clearly communicate, the relationship between the two of you would not last long if you're not properly telling each other what might be bothering or hurting...just in general cross a boundary

Communication probably was one of the most important aspects of your relationship

cue to the actual situation: your boyfriend avoiding you

So, Monday evening you think maybe it's this overwhelming sensation of unexplained anger and that something at morning practice ticked him off completely

But then Tuesday comes and goes, and your boyfriend had avoided you all day long, did not even bother to read your messages,

on Wednesday, you try to talk to him, but all he does is glaring at you with a look that leaves you speechless and kind of heartbroken,

Thursday is the day you're replaying everything you did on Monday, trying to find something that he could have misunderstood, yet no matter how hard you think about it…your brain won't come up with a reason that explained why Kentarou was so upset with you!

So you decide to make him talk to you on Friday

Enough is enough, right? For gods' sake, he is your boyfriend! You miss him and his strong arms that give hugs so warm that you melt right into them

You don't get a second alone with him until school ends

you practically sprint out of the school building over to the gym, knowing that he had a free hour, which means that he is probably the first person there - your only chance

There he is, sitting with his back to you, aggressively chewing on a bun filled with chicken - his usual that reminded him of his favorite dish - glaring holes into the ground

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you carefully aks: ''Kentaro…Ken…?'', slowly stretching out your hand, wanting to rest it on his shoulder to maybe help to soothe him a bit

he flinches instead and his heated, agitated gaze meets your eyes, making you recoil in return

''…will you talk to me, I miss you…'' you say softly, realizing how it hurt being ignored by him

''Ah, suddenly you miss me…'' he spits, narrowing his eyes ''…didn't fucking seem like it the last time I saw you…''

''Kentaro, baby, I have no idea what you mean,'' you plead, keeping your voice low to hide the desperation lacing it, confusion written all over your features

all Kyoutani does is growl, hopping down from where he's sitting while shouldering his gym bag

''...shouldn't have been so flirty with Shittykawa like that then-'' he grumbles - ''Ken, I didn't-'' you insist, but he continues ''twirling your hair, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, fuck you Y/N, if you want him, then feel free to take a fucking leave" Kyoutani cusses, not even listening to you

You shake your head, ''Kentaro, no, you totally misunderstood the situation,'' you follow up, panic seeping into your voice now that you knew what he referred to, ''I love yo-''

''Tsk'', he moves to leave

you try to take his hand but, instead of turning around, Kyoutani just rips it away from you, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket

from behind you, you hear Yahaba and Oikawa approaching (talking about Volleyball and Captains duties)

once they guessed what must have happened, they offered you their help (they both swear that Kyoutani will never ever find a ''cute s/o as you are, y/n-chan, I'm worried for my little angry pomeranian kohai'' )

Usually, you would try to talk to him, but after enduring a week of radio silence and now this treatment, you were tired of upholding something that seemed like a lost cause

you just wave both setters off and leave the school grounds, a frown plastered onto your lips and tears swimming in your eyes

Kentarou had not listened to you, did not even really look at you, and the few seconds he did, his eyes were filled with rage instead of the warmth he had usually reserved for you (and only for you)

If your boyfriend thinks avoiding you for a week and blaming you for something ridiculous without hearing you out is how you handle a relationship…maybe you would have to consider not pursuing it any longer

Which is easier said than done

The whole night you wait for a message, anything, and then all Saturday morning

you still had hope left

You get one from Yahaba, who tells you that Oikawa tried to clear up the situation as well after the reason for your fight dawned on him (Kyoutanis piss poor mood and behavior towards him a strong indicator) but Kentaro, again, just ran off

The future team captain even called you after your lackluster answer, listening to you getting the frustration and sadness out of your system

It didn't matter, right? Your boyfriend decided to unofficially call it quits by implying that your feelings for him were not genuine instead of using his mouth to talk to you and disregarding everyone involved

as if he wanted to ignore the truth as a convenient excuse to get out of your relationship

that's the conclusion your brain came up with

You softly sniffle in the privacy of your room, clutching a pillow to your chest (which has seen more tears in the last two days than in the past three years), deciding that it would be a good idea to go into the city to treat yourself

knowing that your mother has a hair-dresser appointment somewhen today, you go and announce that you would join her to finally buy the latest season of your favorite series

once there, you additionally get microwave popcorn, chocolate, and ice cream, as well as a pretty shirt you saw on a mannequin while window shopping

you feel a lot better after spending some money and ignoring the lingering sadness of your presumable break up with Kyoutani (who you love ok, it is not that easy)

In between your stops, you meet Iwaizumi and Oikawa munching on fatty burgers (celebrating your cheat days like a holiday and indulging in whatever your heart desires, is what makes it easier to stick with healthier habits the rest of the time was the questionable explanation coming from the brown-haired setter, pointing at you with a soggy potato fry)

after a moment, the setters eyes turn sad, a frown replacing the smile on his lips

he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from going just yet, apologizing for being the cause of your fight and for being unable to talk some sense into him

(you assure him that it is not his fault, knowing that your friend will probably brood over it otherwise, which wouldn't be fair)

Iwaizumi adds that Kyoutani will come around and that his cooldown time is just longer than those of other people (and if not, he will give him one of his famous volleyballs to the head and use his status as only truly respected senpai to talk some sense into him) but you again decline their suggestions

after saying goodbye (and seeing Iwaizumi give his best friend an assuring gentle pat on his shoulder, the secret softy in the usual harsh ace shining through)

If Kentaro was willing...able to throw away your relationship this easily, he can't possibly really love you, and you'd accept this even if it's hard and painful

Now remembered of what you had attempted to forget about, you feel your eyes sting with unshed tears (you thought there was no possibility of you having more tears to spill, yet the impossible seemed to be the case) you look down at your phone to text your mom and frown

Kentaro 🥰: we need to talk. Kentaro 🥰: meet me there [location]

For a second, you hesitate, biting your lower lip harshly…you really want to go and talk to him but…

The tears still sting in your eyes and blurring your view reminded you of what you had gone through the whole time, and that it was his turn to finally come to you

break up or makeup, the ball was in his court now

so while walking to where your mother would be waiting for you, you begin to type

You: No.

You: I waited for you all week, even though you ignored me, and now you expect me to run the moment you choose to stop being a childish idiot?

You: if you decide to speak to me then comqjdkn

Kentarou wouldn't say he feels particularly bad. Not at all! If someone was to ask him, he would probably answer fucking peachy, what the fuck are you asking for or growl angrily. No one would bat an eye and further question him, nor guess that maybe he wasn't as great as he pretended because he missed his gorgeous better half, but…it was his fault, wasn't it?

Of course, he originally thought he had a valid reason to be upset. And if he had just spoken to you about it, everything would be solved now. Instead of being a decent boyfriend, though, his pride overtook his thinking processes once he realized that his behavior wasn't even the slightest bit justified. Not that he knew this when he saw you speaking with Shittykawa right before school. All he could see was his gorgeous s/o shyly fiddling with her fingers, conversing with a leaned forward, very involved Oikawa Tooru. He would have fetched you away from the brown-haired setter. He had no qualms about showing his possessiveness. God, Kentarou wouldn't have hesitated to growl at the tall, brown-haired boy if not for the question he heard coming from the Captain.

''Y/N-chan, how is it that you, an adorable, charming individuum, is with a brute like Mad Dog-chan? I really-'' Well, that's where he decided to leave you with the setter. He didn't need to hear your answer. Didn't want to witness an excuse or maybe the truth. If both of you were so fucking smitten with each other to flirt this blatantly, why don't you just go and cheer for him, hold his hand, and kiss his cheek goodbye? It was his choice to distance himself.

Kyoutani couldn't help the feeling of betrayal and hurt washing over him. Maybe you just used him as a stepping stone to get closer with Oikawa, and Kyoutani has been too blind to see it. He never doubted you or your relationship before, but it's not a secret how eruptive Kyoutani could be. It has always been beyond his imagination how someone so cute and sweet like you could love a person like him. Your friends thought so. The teachers. The whole school! Everyone questioned your poor judgment. And when you came running up to him, you're cheery voice calling out for him, everyone present looked at you like you grew a second head. It's the reason why seeing you with Trashykawa ticked him off so bad. It catered to his biggest insecurities and fears. He knew that all those skeptics would be delighted to see you, everyone's darling, with the schools' star setter. They all would agree that the pretty, handsome young man is a better fit than the always hostile-looking troublemaker.

While Kyoutani didn't take Oikawa seriously in most cases, he undoubtedly was one of the most devoted people Kentarou had ever met. If Oikawa wanted to get a new serve right, he wouldn't stop trying and repeating it until his legs gave in, and Iwaizumi dragged him out of the gym. When he wanted to find more advanced players to practice with, so he could, in return, give this new knowledge to his team, there was no way he would not manage to make it happen. Even if his ideas, wishes, and plans cost him blood, sweat, and tears (like getting Kyoutani to actually train), Oikawa never backed down. Kentarou had heard that Oikawa's last girlfriend dumped him because of his passion for Volleyball. Yet Kyoutani couldn't help but think that, in you, the ambitious setter would have found someone that would be able to handle it. You usually came over to watch the team when you knew that Kyoutani was there to play. You sat on the stands with your homework in your lap and a Seijoh-coloured pencil wiggling between your fingers, not bothered by the noises coming from the court. You play with your earlobe while you frown at whatever problem you came across. You patiently wait for practice to finish. Kentarou was sure that you'd be someone Oikawa would actually try for. You weren't one of his squealing fangirls, hanging from his arm on every opportunity, but his friend. You didn't pester him to take selfies with you while pushing cute bentos into his hands. When you bring food to practice, then it's for the whole team to share. If he wanted you, Oikawa would probably have to win you over and make sure that you'd stay. Courting and all that jazz. In all seriousness, Shittykawa would be a fucking idiot if not.

The dyed-blond wing spiker had been so sure that he was rightfully mad that he didn't stop to think twice before he reacted this coldly towards you. But, and this made it even worse, Kentarou knew that he was wrong the moment you asked what happened after an entire week of enduring his silent treatment. The second he heard your shaky voice and saw the tears welling up in your eyes, his brain rebooted, and suddenly he wasn't so sure of his own reasoning. You two were together for about half a year. Kyoutani - by now - was confident in his ability to identify most of your expressions. All he could decipher in your eyes was pain, paired with a need to understand, but…if he was in the wrong…it would mean that he had hurt you the whole week, which in conclusion implied that Kentarou had been the world's shittiest boyfriend. Fuck, he thought, I don't deserve y/n.

His situation didn't get any better the moment Oikawa entered the gym. The person Kyoutani thought he had a real reason to despise now tried to mend the rift between the two of you.

''Mad Dog-chan, I think you misunderstood something there. Well, no, you decided to not listen-'' The taller male says, hands gesturing wildly. While his voice still had that annoyingly cheery tone, it had something commanding hidden underneath. And oh, how Kentarou hated when someone demanded something of him, even if it was for his own good. ''Don't want to hear it.'' the blond mutters, already aggravated. The brown-haired setter resolutely puts himself in the way again. ''Oh, but you have to! That morning, Y/N-chan literally declared her love for yo-'' - ''I don't fucking care.'' Kentarou barks, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

After another fruitless attempt to get properly into the gym, he growls and turns to leave. Already on his way to grab his stuff and take a leave, he hears Oikawa yelling. ''You answered and justified why I asked Y/N-chan to begin with!" And then louder, even though he could make out Iwaizumi trying to wrestle his childhood friend back into the gym, "APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER GROVEL FOR Y/N'S FORGIVENESS! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHOW YOU'RE PUTTING ON, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

This happened on Friday evening, and the guilt was gnawing away on him ever since. On his way home, Kyoutani had automatically taken the detour to your house. Kentarou enjoyed bringing you home (and more often than not, you pulled him inside with you, making him cuddle you!). It makes him feel like a good boyfriend, and he knew that you arrived there safely. He would never tell anybody and deny it if you ever decided to share this, but Kentarou relished in the feeling of your hand holding his all the way while going on about your day. He admired that you'd pet every cat and every dog you meet on the trip home together with him. You were perfect for him…why again did he act like this?

What caused Kyoutani's attempt to apologize - in his usual overly blunt and partly aggressive kind of way - was Yahaba, though. Both boys denied being remotely something beyond 'not really enemies'. But his future team captain was definitely one of the very few people that could and would tell him to his face that he fucked up without real repercussions. He would presumably even help Kyoutani to get it together.

After Yahaba had called you and listened to your heartbreaking rant, the setter realized that you, his friend, and his 'not really enemy' needed to talk ut out. Totally immersed in your tirade, you accidentally let slip that you couldn't endure Kyoutani's treatment any longer. That being pushed over by your boyfriend with brash and hurtful words after handling the cold shoulder was too much. That you expected Kyoutani to break up with you on Monday either way. In-person, if he had mercy on you or continue his treatment as a silent method of doing so. While you told Yahaba about your planned ''get over it-self-care'' weekend (involving tons of ice cream, movies with crying guarantee, lots of blankets, and no smartphone), the setter had already put on his jacket, shooting a message to Kyoutani.

From Yahaba: get your stupid fucking ass outside to meet me, or I'll bench you the complete season next year

Even though the wing spiker was sure that Yahaba's words were nothing but empty words, Kentarou allowed himself to accept this threat as an excuse to put his pride aside. Because, even though Yahaba annoyed him to no end - not as bad as Oikawa but still - Kentarou was also aware that you and he were friends. If someone could help him gaining your forgiveness, Kyoutani had to accept and admit that it was Yahaba. Meeting his light brown-haired teammate was kind of awkward. Kyoutani was unsure what he had to expect, though he should have seen the rough treatment coming. Yet, getting told that you, the person Kentarou was undeniably in love with, felt so neglected and hurt that you deemed this relationship to be as good as over allowed the guilt monster in his chest to grow. Shitty Oikawa was probably right ordering him to grovel and beg on his knees for you to even hear him out.

Your answer to his message was partly unlike you. Well, the last sentence. You usually were pretty forward with him to avoid miscommunication and uncalled-for moping around. And while you sometimes send keyboard smashes to express the chaos you felt, they were always in a separate message and not so…random. The text definitely meant something like ''then come to me'' but somehow, Kyoutani had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Besides, he couldn't just wait till Monday and hope that you'd accept his apology! You may send him away today already, but he still had a teeny-tiny bit of hope. If he let the thoughts of him leaving you or the other way around fester in your mind for two whole days, though,…you'd probably realize that leaving him wasn't that bad of a decision. You'd come to the conclusion that all your admirers could treat you better than Kyoutani did. And he was too selfish to let you leave. Even though all he did the whole week was being self-centered and stuck up, he would be damned to begin being a saint now and let you go. That you at least were willing to talk to him was…a relief, to say the least. Kentarou hoped that this translated to you being willing to put up with him a little longer if he apologized correctly. That you're not opposed to giving him another chance to make things right.

At your house, he was greeted with darkness. Not even a single light illuminating any of the rooms he could see from his spot on your front lawn. And the ones he saw were your and your mom's most-used rooms. Your room window, your mothers' workroom, and the living room area with an adjacent kitchen. All of those rather significant rooms and the lack of light in them seemed to be a dead giveaway for Kyoutani that no one was home. Kyoutani guessed that you were probably out with your mom, glancing over to the empty spot in front of the garage.

Oh god, your mother had been the only supportive person of your relationship. Maybe it's in your family to see the best in everyone, even in shitty people like him. But if you told her about his behavior, she'd most likely not welcome him with a smile ever again, no matter if you forgave him.

There weren't many things Kyoutani could do in this situation, but it wasn't as late as nature let it on, and after a few seconds, he had decided to sit down at the front door and wait for you, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for you to come home. As if fate wanted to tell him something, the wing spiker had put on the jacket with the half-full power bank. He had worn it to the shelter when he visited it this week while distracting himself from your absence in his daily life. You had gifted him the piece of clothing, which is probably why he unconsciously had decided to wear it to everything he did after school in the first place.

Kentarou passed the time by snarling at people eyeing him for a moment too long to not be judgmental, petting the neighbors' cat wandering over to him, and watching videos. Every time he thought ''Y/N would like this'', his heart stuttered guilty.

To Kentarou, it felt like an eternity until your mother's car finally drove up the entry. To avoid your mother's potentially deadly stare, he nervously checked his mobile, realizing that he had waited for a little more than 3 hours. Yet, the wait had done nothing to soothe his nerves. They instantly spiked up again while his heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

She will hate me. Your mother would hate me, she'll hate me, she'll ha-

''Ah, Ken-chan! Good evening.'' Your mother greets him with a tired, yet still gentle smile. Oh. The blond blanches. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed the treatment he received from your mother more than he should. Being spoken to without suspicion and receiving a warm smile every time without fail was a welcome change to his daily life. Your mother didn't listen to people trying to bad-mouth him. To her, he simply was the boy that - normally - treats her child the way a mother wished for. Even if he pulled a face as long as a fiddle.

''I didn't know you were coming, Ken-chan, or I would have messaged you…but now that you're here, maybe you can assist us out and help Y/N inside? It would help a lot.'' His gaze immediately flitted over to you on the passenger seat. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and that stubborn but endearingly cute pout on your lips, he nearly missed the tiredness your body emitted. Kentarou wanted to rush over to your side immediately but was stopped by your mother again. ''I don't know what you two are fighting about…but please talk to each other. I don't want my baby to be this sad. Especially now, and…'' she rests a hand on his shoulder, her eyes kind and comforting ''…I also don't want to miss you here, alright?'' He stiffly nodded and watched your mother carrying in plastic bags filled with various medicine packages and food.

After coming back to his senses, Kyoutani finally stumbled over to your side, practically ripping open the car door. This new perspective revealed a plaster cast wrapping your whole left leg and a removable wrist brace on your right hand. ''Bab- Y/N…what the fuck…happened?'' His honey-brown eyes continued to wander over your injuries, and with every second, he found more. Scratches and scrapes, bandaids and bandages peeking out from underneath your clothes. ''I'm so sorry,'' he whispered, hanging his head low.

All your intentions to fight his helping hand and limp over to the door by yourself disintegrated into nothing. You never witnessed such a devastated, beaten expression on his face before. Instead, you settle for ''Will you help me?''. A question asked quietly to your fingers picking at a loose band-aid edge on your arm and pressing it back onto the irritated skin.

After you loosened your seatbelt, he waits for you to carefully place your arms around his neck. It is followed by Kyoutani lifting you out of the car so gently as if he was afraid you might break. This whole situation in itself already contradicting his brash appearance and usual behavior. It would give whiplash to all the people pretending to know him. But he was always caring in his own way when it came to you. It's why you loved him after all. Because you usually knew that he loved you, too.

For a few moments, the atmosphere between the two of you felt awkwardly tense, both of you unsure how to interact with each other. The mostly blonde wing spiker breathed out a sigh of relief when you fully leaned into his chest once he stood upright, resting your head against his shoulder. A bit of maneuvering through the front door eventually lead to Kyoutani passing through the hallway and taking you to your room, where he was gently lowering you down on the bed.

It was a now or never kind of situation. For the both of you. While Kentarou was trying to find out where to begin his apology, he took a few steps back in case you wanted space until everything was cleared up.

You unconsciously helped him making a decision by impulsively grasping onto his shirt the moment he started to withdraw, stopping him in his retreating movement. Kentarou saw your lower lips wobbling, teary eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

''Please stay,'' you say weakly, which is enough for him to throw the whole thinking process away and simply sit down next to you, intertwining both your hands. ''I'm staying. I'm not leaving. Not now nor this relationship if you still want...an ''us''. The wing spiker took a deep, shuttering breath. '' I'm sorry, Y/N…'' he finally manages to say, honey eyes locked onto your linked your hands. ''I have been fucking stupid all week. 've been a fucking terrible boyfriend, the worst to ever exist.''

As if to encourage him...to show your boyfriend that his apology was not for nothing, you shuffled around until the last bit of distance between the two of you was closed. You hum, acknowledging his words while leaning your head on his shoulder.

''I didn't think you're cheating or something, …'' Kyoutani immediately assures you. There was no way he would allow you to think that he would accuse you of something like this. ''I had no reason to be jealous, but I was insecure. Let it get the best of me. Despite our promise to communicate, I was sulking. 't was easier. I'll do whatever the fuck you want for you to not give up yet…'' he says, taking his time with every sentence.

With a sigh, you squeeze his hand. ''It will probably take a lot of cuddling and attention from you...'' you say thoughtfully ''...but I forgive you…if you promise to not do this again…'' you murmur, tilting your head upward to press a chaste kiss to his jaw. ''Otherwise, I'll accept Iwaizumi-san's offer to get your thinking process restarted.'' For a moment, your voice had its usual joking edge. But you knew talking out everything was necessary. ''But, in all honesty, 'Tarou....please, never do this again. I am honest. I will not endure this a second time. When you tell me that you need a day or two for yourself then that is totally fine. If you feel yourself giving into whatever insecurity, talk to me about it. I am sure there will be an explanation or a solution but don't leave me in the dark. Don't treat me like that. I love you. Only you and no one else. But the time love can withstand straight-up ignorance by your partner is limited.''

Slowly, your boyfriend nodded, squeezing your hand to tell you that he understood. You would probably cling to him for a while but were sure that he would survive the extra closeness. Not even half a second later, his head leans onto yours cautiously.

''…and try being nicer to Oikawa-san, Tarou, he hasn't done anything to you.'' You add humorously before small giggles started to erupt from your lips. ''Also...Baby…'' you start, being interrupted by choked-up hiccups and giggles. By using your nickname for him, you take away another persistent fear of his. What he does not miss, however, is how you wince in pain before you continue, ''…who helped you put this into words? I mean…I loved it, but…,'' You leave unsaid that words usually are not his strong fort.

Biting back a smile, he frowns, huffs, and puffs…, but the way you are looking up at him, eyes shining with relief and adoration, allows him to admit defeat. He sighs ''…it's how Yahaba said I should say it…'' It usually would be an odd enough statement to make you throw yourself all over him with laugher. As a slight replacement, you squeeze his hand a bit, still shaking with suppressed laughter. ''I promise…that I will talk to you. Can't promise the Shittykawa part.'' Another soft chuckle leaves your lips before you look up at him again. ''I hope you try nonetheless. You should not let Iwaizumi-san hear you calling Oikawa-san that, though, I don't think this would turn out well for you…so...maybe stop this at least.'' Kentarou rolls his eyes at you, but in the end, he nods.

You wait for another second to clearly distinguish the two topics before you continue. ''…Thank you…for coming and finally speaking with me instead of break-'' A hand on your lips muffles your words.

''Don't say these words. I'd never break up with you,'' Kentarou grumbles, a light, uncharacteristic light pink settling on his cheeks. You stick your tongue out, which leads to him taking his hand off of your face with a surprised noise, rather dumbfounded that you had licked his hand. It gives you the chance to lean up and finally press your lips against his. ''I'm not leaving you either,'' you murmur, feeling his lips twitch upwards slightly. You decide to leave the teasing for another day.

Moving back into your previous position was enough of a hassle to hiss in pain. It brought back Kyoutani's awareness of the second problem at hand. ''What did happen to you?'' Kyoutani asks in an attempt to tamper down the excited, happy beating of his heart.

''Oh, this...uh, when I answered your text, I got driven over by a dude on a bicycle,'' you casually drop. It was kind of entertaining to watch his expressions change at an unequaled pace while processing your words. In the end, it settled into something akin to passive-aggressive worry. The way he was immediately fretting over you while cursing and cussing out the bicycle dude was his own way of caring. As you watch him retrieving the food your mother bought, while mumbling about how you're a dumbass for not paying attention to your surroundings, how he'd come over every day until you could go to school again to bring and teach you the stuff you would miss and how he would fucking murder the bicycle idiot if he ever finds out who dared to drive you over, you can't help the smile forming on your lips.

Once again, you are proven that loving him - while occasionally troublesome and demanding - was everything but wrong.

[romanceimp]

I AM SAITAMA TRAIN THINGY ANON AND I JUST FOUND THE POST TY I LOVED IT— you write him so well i loved it sm sm sm. you up for more saitama sometime? :0 i forgot if you’re taking actual requests i’m gonna go check that

THEY ARE OPEN YES

consider: reader gets hurt fighting a villain (or smth) and saitama brings them back to his apartment. but!! he only has one bed >:)!! so they get the bed and he sleeps on the floor lmao. just sorta fluff :D? fluff for saitama? maybe they confess in the morning?? :D??? or just fluff headcanons (i didn’t wanna just ask for fluff headcanons because that’s pretty vague and shit :’D) whatever you’re up for!! ty for being a sick ass writer

Oh my honey bunny!!!! You are so very sweet AH! This legit made my dayyyy!

Im in love with these Saitama requests bc I’m in love with him, he does not get enough credit omggggg. (Also I’m so sorry this took me a hot sec to write, this request just deserved so much care because it was so genuinely sweet, I hope you like baby xxxx) 

You were badly beaten up, bruised, and just all around embarrassed. You’d fought so hard, struggling to keep the toothy sewer monster away from the surrounding houses. The icy rain was coming down hard, making it difficult to see.  It had flung you down on the ground, taking all the air from your body. Then Saitama knocks it down with a single punch... Yeah, you felt great. You were staring at him now, half with gratitude and half with the realization that you weren’t as strong as you thought you were. He smiled at you, when you blacked out. 

You woke up, in an unfamiliar space. Your head was throbbing intensely. You tried to sit up and you groaned and clutched the side of your head, feeling how matted your hair was. “Here,” you watched through half lidded eyes as Saitama rose and grabbed you a glass of water. He dropped a tablet into it and you watched it fizz, the bubbles scattering around the water. He sat next to you, and even though your hand was on the glass, he didn’t let go of  it. You took two long drinks, then handed the glass back to him. “You know, if you weren’t a hero who just saved my life, that would look pretty bad,” you said gesturing to the fizzing tablet. Saitama’s eyes got wide, “oh no, it’s- it’s just- dammit! It’s just something for head aches...” he said finally. You chuckled softly, you’d never seen him so flustered before.

 Saitama was sitting on the floor watching tv. It was driving you crazy, he’d left without a single scratch and you’d passed out. Having to be saved infuriated you, but you didn’t want to be ungrateful to all his help.  “My headache is feeling better, thanks.” Saitama smiled at you from his spot on the floor. He turned on the television and scanned the news. There was something happening a few cities over, it seemed pretty big and no heroes were there to help. Saitama rose, “I’ll be right back,” he mumbled as he left the room. 

You couldn’t be mad at him for leaving you. It wasn’t his job to take care of you... The front door opened and shut and your heart sunk a bit. Was Saitama your friend? Sort of?  He never spoke to you very much and his few word responses made it difficult to continue a conversation. But he had always given you a soft smile. It was so confusing. 

The front door opened again and Saitama returned with a plastic bag, written on the side was THANK YOU with a smiley face. “Soup?” he offered. You laughed, scrunching your brow... this man was hard to read for being one so straight forward. “I figured you left to go fight whatever that was in City X... not bring me soup.” He sat and began to take the containers from the bag. “Oh, I did,” that’s Saitama for you I guess, “but then I saw the delivery guy at the door and figured I shouldn’t let you eat alone, so I let someone else to take care of it.” He handed you a container of soup and a plastic spoon. Saitama flipped the television back on, “let’s see how they're doing huh?” 

“BREAKING NEWS, IT’S HEADED FOR THE POWER LINES IN CITY-” That was when all the lights went out. You could here him sigh in the darkness. “You don’t have a flashlight do you?” he asked. You softly replied, “no.” He said nothing but you heard him get up off the floor and stumble somewhere, there was rustling, then clinking, then a click, then a soft light. It was one of those home made, wine bottle oil lamps. He placed the light in the middle of the floor. It was only at that moment you realized you must be in Saitama’s bed. It was simply a mattress on the floor. It was however incredibly comfortable. The comforter was soft and crinkly. He only had one pillow but it was fluffy. “Do you want to play cards?” he offered, presenting a fresh deck. You nodded and he began to deal. He had beaten you at Go Fish 3 times before you suggested another game. Slap Jack was probably the wrong choice considering there was now a hole in his floor, but you’d both gotten a good laugh out of it and simply allowed the mattress to rest above the hole. The laughter from the Slap Jack event sparked the first real conversation you two had ever had. You found out that Saitama was funnier than you thought. The laughter evolved into more meaningful discussions about childhood and lost loves, and finally evolved into nothing at all, like what animals must think when humans change their clothes all the time... With all the talking you were starting to feel worse, weaker, which you resented. You pushed through, because more than anything, you were enjoying talking to him, getting to know who he really was other than this super powerful hero. 

It was getting late and you went from feeling bad to feeling like death. However, you wouldn’t be telling Saitama that. Rest, that’s all you needed, yes.  “You take the bed, I’ll sleep here,” he whispered. “What? No, I should go home, it’s fine.” He gave you a serious and semi annoyed expression, “do you think you could get yourself home?” Even though the tablet had eased the pain, it didn’t stop the chills, or the joint aches, or the room from spinning. “No...” you admitted reluctantly. “That’s what I thought.” He retrieved a towel and his red cape and made them into a pillow and a blanket. You’d both been laying in silence when you started to feel like you were freezing. You were underneath all the blankets, shivering. “Y/n?” he asked to your covered shape, “are you okay?” You shifted, which sent chills through your body. You heard him move towards you and he placed his hand on your forehead. “You’re sick, fever probably,” he moved and he placed the towel and his cape over you. He moved back towards the floor but you weakly caught his hand. “Do-do you think you could lay with me?” You rolled to look at him and his eyes were big, soft, watching you carefully, with concern. He climbed onto the small mattress beside you and gently laid his arm over your waist, pulling you into him. The warmth from his body, radiating through your back, and the light rise and fall of his breath lured you to sleep. 

You awoke with the sun pouring through Saitama’s blinds. You were all sweaty, your fever must have broke in the night but Saitama was still holding onto you. You stirred, trying to give him space but he pulled you closer, “are you feeling any better?” he asked. “Yes, much,” you turned now to face him, “thank you.” Then he did something completely unexpected, he pressed his lips to your forehead then ran his hand down your cheek, “of course.” As soon as he did it, his eyes became wide, “I-I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have-” You took his hand and kissed each of his fingers. There wasn’t anything to say. Some things were best left unspoken. He simply closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to yours.

[abloomingperiod]

baekhyun as a bf

it wasn’t supposed to be this big tbh

you can tell by the fucker’s face, he is annoying af

k seriously tho

even though byun is all smiles and pranks he definitely seems like a serious person on the personal side

constantly asking himself if it’s the right thing to do putting u in such a historically brutal position such as dating an idol

you having to reassure him way too often that it was your decision to make, not his

“sweetie i’m here because i want to stop going off” “cool but like are you su-” “dude i swEAR TO GOD”

it’s not something he likes thinking it just happens okay he’s worried b patient to the babee

since his last relationship didn’t end up very well, he would probably take mONTHS to actually claim you as his girlfriend

seriously tho i fume just thinking about that time

it happened on a friday night when he was playing on the pc, chanyeol was calling and babyboi was like “srry cant talk rn exchanging breaths with my girl”

you were scrunching your nose for a sec but them you realized what he said and were like !!!!

him enjoying the fact his words got you so flustered and playing it cool like chill out dude as if you didn’t know we were dating by now

????????? in fact ou were so surprised bcs u didn’t even know the boys knew abt ur existence

“like... they KNOW??????”

“of cOURSE they know junmyeon would kick my ass if i didn’t explain to him why i missed our dinner last night”

you guys are so comfortable with the fact your relationship ain’t official you decided at the same night thisbis how you prefered to stay like

he’s not okay with going public after what happened in the past and you agree and support his desire to keep it private

i could write a whole essay dissing saesangs

that doesn’t mean he won’t hang out with you

after all, you’ve been friends for ages now

and the boys know abt u

chanyeol keeps biting byun’s butt but you’re okay with that

was there any other option? ofc not

talking about ass

he’s one

honestly such a tease

always finding a way to make u flustered

“babe look at me” “what” “i love you” “god i love you too” “and your ass looks amazing today” “leave me alone”

always slaps your butt

doesn’t matter the context

sexual or not

he loves him some butt

lol dates

like literally you sit there and spend the night playing and eating together

every lol date is a different dish ordered

since you gotta keep it low profile

might as well do it right

he’s an observer

constantly stops what he’s doing to admire you

sometimes you’re like watching a movie or idk brushing ur teeth

he stands there in the door frame all dumbfounded burning loveholes into your skull

you’re like ...stop it

he’s like . no

he’s so emotional i’m not even exaggerating

keeps joking around when he’s around people and everybody seems to think he’s a dork who just can’t stop talking nonsense

(which he is)

but when you guys are alone

oh boy

he’s so sensible

literally writes on post-its and places it around your apartment before he leaves for practice on mornings

not all of them are cute tho

once your friend was like “hey y/n idcwho’s dicking you down but i think the person got the feels”

you completely forgot to take off the “your taste already left my mouth. dinner tonight at 8 and i’ll be eating twice” post-it

like

he literally put it in your refrigerator’s door

you legit wanted to die

but then on other days it’s like

“i promised, throughout my whole life, this heart belongs to you.”

honestly so intense

when you guys argue it’s like a conquest to see who can act more like a spoiled kid

but basically go off with your frustrations and then one of u ends up cooling off in the shower

later either you or him get in there too asking if the other is feeling better

tbh not that often do u guys fight

most of the times is like

“okay,,, this is unnecessary” “yeah screw it”

but sometimes it gets really heated

and you’re both frustrated

straightforward speaking, you guys have sex

very

rough

sex

he’s a switch k let’s be real

loves making you beg

loves begging for you

not the type to degrade or hurt you or anything

like he’s a light dom

and by that i mean he will pound in you rough and slow until you’re begging him to let you cum but keeps kissing your flushed cheeks and tightly intertwining your hands as he lovingly whispers “you fucking love those type of fights don’t you”

loves LOVES being blindfolded

lowkey a freak but moderately

absolutely loves it when he ties you up and makes you say exactly what you want

will always stuck two or three fingers in so you have a hard time speaking

as i was saying, the absolute worst

“baekhyun... please-“ “fucking say it” “please... baby... fuck me” “hard nut”

is shamelessly vocal

groans

whimpers

desperate moans

aftercare baekhyun is a look

his hair all disheveled, dazed eyes and flushed lips

yk that look from the city lights photoshoot with his glossy skin and damp hair

yeah

he loves you so much and seeing you all blissed out after sex makes him, curiously, very very soft

everything you guys said during the argument is quickly forgotten as you exchange a few sorry’s and deep kisses in between

loves feeling your skin against his as he embraces your shoulders hugging you to his chest

you leave pecks on the scratchings your nails did on his skin and he just lays there all fucked out and smiles like 💕💞💓💘💘💖💗💞💓💗💕💝💘💖💕💞💓💗💗💞💖💘💞💘💖

and he’s horny again

it’s not like he’s a teenager he just absolutely loves being this intimate to you

and then you have a bath together bcs sticky

loves making coffee like at 6am to you so he can wake you up and have breakfast together

the type to wake you in this worst way possible

he rips the sheets off of you

regardless of how cold it is at that hour

and jumps over

“wake up egg”

as you guys head to the kitchen he sits you on his lap and feeds you :(

his arms around your waist and keeps leaving tiny pecks on your cheeks as he rests his cheek on your back and heavily sighs

“ya your breath stinks”

“you stink dummy”

sings ballads out of the blue

you’re like reading or smth

and he’s like

appado gWAENCHANHA

“shut it or i’ll rip off your chords with my bare hands”

“i dare you”

you actually made out after you chased him around the couch

so annoyingly dense

like you were taking your clothes off

his lips on your neck

and then he’s like

“btw my mother wants to meet you”

you literally froze

bra slipping off your shoulders

“????? you mother kNOWS?????”

“ofc she knows she’s my mother wtf”

“!!!!!!!!!BAEKHYUN”

doesn’t understand the concept of Time And Place

once you were on the bathtub massaging his feet after hours of practice and he was like yo ever thought about kids

i ran out of reactions so basically you cursed at him for five minutes

he was like 🥺🥺 just saying srry

it took you more five to explain to him it wasn’t that you hated kids you just thought it was something to talk about on another time

like

five years another time

maybe ten

he was like k we can have a dog

and now you have a dog together along with mongryong

a cutie called jinx

don’t ask

fucking nerd

you were like

she’s new so treat her as kindly as mongryong

baekhyun is a pain in the ass but in a matter of hours he was like

i bought the same clothes for them

you rolled your eyes but silently got the heart eyes bcs cute

loves watching you dressing yourself

especially for your low profile dates

“hm no too hard to take off”

“...a monochromatic two piece with a zipper in the skirt?”

“my point exactly”

tbh he Is kinda horny

but that’s bcs he’s mad for you

loves it when you style his hair

“baekhyun can’t you stand still for like two minutes” “oh sorry”

you’re standing there, focused on the task

30 secs on it and his hands are already caressing your tummy

you’re like stop i’m bUSY

he’s like no one’s stopping you

but keeps tickling you

idk he really treasures those tiny little details in the moments you spend together

everything is important to him

doesn’t mean he’s like insanely needy of your attention

no you’re two individuals who have their own lives and schedules

he keeps it cool but yeah he’s bananas for you

sorry his words

everything is so domestic with him

and so good

he’s been through a lot throughout the years and this relationship is the calmness he needed

and he’s the fun and lightness you needed after spending so much time trying and acting like a “grownup”

baekhyun brings back the teenager in you

but in a good way

you complete each other so well sigh

cuz you’re like all responsible and shit

he loves the juxtaposition

so do you

idk it feels right

you love like teenagers but live like adults

also his words

[daveeddiggsit]

Broken

Note: Okay, so I stole this request (with permission of course) from @diggs4life because when I saw it, it gave me a huge inspiration boost. So yeah, thanks Jena. I’d also like to give a huge shout out to @adothoe for pushing me to take the non-lazy approach to this fic because without her, this fic would have probably sucked. Anyway, it’s been soooo fucking long since I’ve posted a fic lol so here you go. Good luck btw. You’ll need it.

Request: “ok angst idea: so reader is a journalist and works for like TMZ or smth and she is given the task to get close to Daveed Diggs so they could pull info out of him about his “mysterious” personal life that not many people know about bc he’s on the rise as a celebrity. so she starts to date him for that reason only but then slowly falls in love with him for real and when Daveed finds out angst ensues. (i hope this made sense) it’s basically one sided fake dating until oops not anymore.” - anonymous

Word Count: 5,892

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Warnings: No smut, but lots of angst. Rough break up.

Tag System: @butlinislin @trashfandom14 @fullytenaciousstranger @isis278  @beautifulfound 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to let him hate your guts with no strings attached then bounce when you got what you wanted. You were supposed to do your job right and get close to him; close enough to learn his secrets and be the journalist who broke his story. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with him in the process.

But you did.

The sounds of the soft thunder and the pitter-patter of the rain falling surrounded you as you walked as fast as you could in your heels. The Esquire Magazine building was coming closer to you with every step and you were determined to get inside before you got even more wet from the storm.

You were supposed to interview with the magazine for a position as an editor. So a few days prior when you got the call from Esquire asking you to come in for an interview, you immediately booked a flight from LA to NYC. You’d spent the entire morning preparing yourself for the interview and making sure that your make up, hair, and dress looked perfect, but you didn’t expect to get soaked from the pouring rain. The storm came out of nowhere.

Mother Nature just wasn’t on your side today.

“Y/N, I swear I’m on your side, but we just need more from you.” Your boss Jason told you.

You were bewildered. “More from me? What else do you guys want from me? I publish an article a day, let you know any new gossip that comes up-”

“I know-”

“Jason, you guys even make me get you coffee in the morning.” You said, exasperated. “I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the job description when I applied to be a reporter here at TMZ.”

 “Well, who else is supposed to get coffee for us?”

 His comment made you want to throw up. You’d worked just as hard as everyone else, writing up new stories day and night as they came and went, and you still weren’t being treated like a professional.

You glared at him and turned to leave his office. “You’re sick.”

“Woah woah woah, hold on, I’m kidding.” Jason called after you. When you kept walking, he spoke up again. “I can secure you that spot as an editor.”

His statement made you freeze in your tracks.

This was your chance. You could finally have the position you’d been striving towards for years. You’d been waiting for a moment like this ever since you first began working at TMZ.

“What’s the catch?” You sighed, turning back around.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I just need you to write a big article before I promote you. The quicker you write the story, the quicker you get the promotion. You interested?”

You took a few steps closer and sunk down into the chair in front of his desk. “I’m interested.” You stated almost hesitantly. “What’s it on?”

He smirked and leaned back in his chair, lifting his feet onto his desk. “You know that Broadway show everyone was talking about last year? It won a lot of awards and people really liked it because it was like rap or something. Ring a bell?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Hamilton?”

“Yeah, that one.” He said. “Well, one of its stars is on the rise and we know absolutely nothing about him. The guy is literally everywhere in the entertainment industry, but his personal life is a mystery. And I think as writers and reporters at TMZ, it’s our job to fix that.”

“So you want me to write this huge thing on the juicy details of this dude’s personal life?” 

“Exactly.” Jason grinned. “But it’s not that easy. You’re gonna have to uncover it all yourself.”

“How? You said it yourself, the media knows nothing. It’s not like I can get information from an interview on Fallon or anything.”

“See, this is the fun part. The guy is actually living in LA now. He’s doing a lot of filming for some TV roles.” His smirk widened. “This is where you come in, Y/N.”

You stared at him with a confused expression before he continued.

“Get close to him.” Jason said. “Talk to him, befriend him, date him, fuck him for all I care. Just do what it takes to unlock his backstory for that article. After that, you can leave, no strings attached, publish the article, and be promoted to an editor. Just like that. It’s easy, Y/N.”

You averted your eyes away from your boss. “I’m…not sure about this, Jason. This is a lot to get involved in. I mean…he’s a person too. If I somehow can get close to him, it won’t end well once he finds out what I’m doing. He definitely won’t be a fan of it.”

“That’s why you’re doing it with no strings attached. So you don’t feel bad.” He stated, taking his feet off his desk so he could lean forward in his seat. “It’s for the good of the company. We need to break a story like this! This benefits you too, Y/N, think about it.”

You sighed, contemplating everything. After a minute or two, Jason grew impatient.

“So?” He asked.

“I’m in.” You said.

A wicked smile broke out on your boss’ face. “Good.” He pulled out a paper and slid it across his desk towards you. “He’s going to be at this dinner party on Thursday night. That’s where you can meet him. Dress nicely and don’t be late. You don’t want to make a bad first impression.”

You sighed inwardly and took the dinner invitation before you turned to leave.

“Oh, and I almost forgot the most important part.” Jason called out as you opened the door. When you turned back, he continued.

“His name is Daveed Diggs.”

When you walked into the building, you beelined straight to the reception desk to check in.

“Hello, do you have an appointment?” The lady from behind the counter asked politely.

“Yes, I have an interview with Mr. Smith for the open editor position.” You responded, rubbing your arms to create warmth. You were freezing.

“Ah, yes.” She said after she typed something into her computer. “Ms. Y/L/N at 1:30, correct?”

You nodded promptly.

“His office is on the fourteenth floor, so you can use the elevator over there.” She pointed to the elevator down the hall. “We have coffee and refreshments on that floor as well. I assume you got caught in the storm, so feel free to help yourself. It might help warm you up.” She smiled warmly, noticing your wet (now drying) figure.

“Thank you.” You returned her smile, before walking down the hall towards the elevator she directed you to.

The already open doors were beginning to close, so you quickened your pace and (thank god) were able to slip through the doors before they shut completely. You didn’t notice that you weren’t alone in the elevator until after you pressed the button labeled ‘14’.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw someone with familiar looking dark, curly hair that brought both butterflies and guilt to your stomach. You were hesitant to turn your head to look at the other person in fear of who the person could have been.

It wasn’t him, right? It couldn’t be him.

You quickly flickered your eyes over to give the mystery person a once over, but you ended up doing a double-take when you saw that the mystery person turned out to be the last person you thought you’d see in NYC. No. There was no way.

Everything was going according to plan. You arrived to the dinner on time and made your way to your table with the help of an usher. Lucky for you, Daveed was already sitting down with a few other people when you arrived.

“Daveed.” He greeted you with a grin once you sat down, reaching his hand out to shake yours.

“Y/N.” You replied, mirroring his smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Daveed.”

“Not bad at all.” You thought to yourself. “He’s hot.” If you were going to go through the effort of flirting with someone constantly to mooch information from them, they had to be attractive at least.

The night went by amazingly. As you spoke to him, you began to understand why Daveed’s popularity was going through the roof; the man was a renaissance man. He was well-rounded and seemed to be good at pretty much everything. He was a musician, actor, poet, writer, you name it. He had many awards and nominations for his work (including a Grammy and a Tony), and the dude had just received an honorary doctorate in fine arts at Brown University. He was charming, funny, humble, and a bit shy (you’d noticed the way he shifted his gaze to the ground with a smile occasionally while talking). And to top it all off? He was attractive.

He really was the full package. Anyone would’ve been lucky to have him.

Realizing all of this, you began to regret accepting Jason’s deal. But you knew you had to pull through or you’d lose your job, knowing your boss after your four years of working for him. So at the end of the dinner, when Daveed asked for your number and if you wanted to go out for coffee the next week, you accepted. Part of you said you did it for work, but the other part said it was because you actually liked Daveed.

The real question, however, was: which part were you listening to?

You couldn’t help but stare at the tall man to your left. Just glancing at him brought back so many memories; memories that were supposed to bring happiness and smiles, but instead brought the opposite due to the guilt and loss that weighed heavily in the pit of your stomach.

He hadn’t changed a bit. Well, he looked the same at least. Judging from what he was wearing, he still seemed to wear his glasses out as often as possible. His silver bracelet and matte black chain were still his go-to accessories. And he sure as hell was still handsome in everything he wore even if it was just a jacket, t-shirt, and jeans.

“Daveed?” His name slipped out of your mouth so quietly that it was barely audible.

But he heard you. Oh, you knew he heard you. Even though he pretended like he didn’t and stared straight ahead, paying no attention to you, the way his jaw tensed ever so slightly at the sound of your voice is what gave it away: he was in as much pain as you were.

You contemplated saying something to him. Should you try to talk to him? It’d been three months since the night things went south…was it even worth trying? He wanted nothing to do with you…or so you thought, judging by the way he’d completely ignored you earlier. You didn’t believe in fate, but for you two to see each other at a place you both were unfamiliar with…that wasn’t just a coincidence, right? You knew you had to try something.

You were brought out of your thoughts when the elevator came to a sudden stop, causing you to stumble slightly. Your arm quickly shot out to clutch onto the railing to steady yourself as your heart pounded in your chest from the sudden halt. You glanced over to Daveed to see him do the same and both of your eyes widened when the lights flickered overhead.

Oh no, this was not good.

Daveed immediately stepped over to the button panel and began to repeatedly press the button of the floor he was headed to.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he muttered under his breath, “what did you do?”

You couldn’t help but feel shaken at the sound of his voice. It was the first time you’d heard it in months.

“I-I didn’t do anything…” You stuttered out. The severity of the situation was wearing you down to your core. You weren’t one to stutter, but being soaked from the storm outside, seeing the ex you still hadn’t gotten over, and now being stuck inside a situation where an elevator was malfunctioning…you couldn’t really be blamed.

None of the buttons Daveed was pressing were working, so he went to the last resort: the emergency help button. As soon as he pressed it, the button glowed a bright red and two loud beeps were heard overhead from an intercom speaker.

Not even a few seconds later, a female voice was heard from the same speaker, asking questions like whether everyone inside the elevator was okay or not. Daveed answered for the most part, and the lady then reassured you both that responders were on their way to your location and that they should be there as soon as possible. She then directed you to stay put where you were instead of trying to escape because of safety precautions.

When the lady went off the intercom, Daveed sighed in frustration and dragged a hand down his face. A few seconds later, he slid down to the floor with his back to the wall, casting his eyes down to the ground and away from you. You did the same on the opposite side of the elevator, but watched him as he captured his bottom lip with his teeth, a nervous habit of his you’d noticed a while back.

You couldn’t believe you were in this situation right now. Being stuck in an elevator with the man who hated you? Great.

“Tonight was great, I had fun meeting your friends.” You smiled up at Daveed once you had reached the door to your apartment building. “UTK and Rafa were…”

“Too much? Obnoxious?” Daveed offered, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. He loved his friends, but he knew they probably had overwhelmed you as they did with most people Daveed introduced them to.

“I was gonna say charming.” You chuckled, earning a laugh from him as well.

“Don’t tell them that,” he said, his eyes glimmering in amusement in the low light the street lamp provided. “They wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.”

“It’ll be a secret between the two of us, then.” You replied.

After a few seconds of silence, you broke out of your happy daze to speak again. “Thanks for walking me home, Daveed.”

“No problem,” he murmured. “Needed to make sure you got home safe.”

You smiled softly at each other before you both slowly leaned in simultaneously and Daveed’s hands came out of his pockets to gently grab your waist. The kiss started off warm and sweet, nothing more than his lips chastely being pressed against yours. But it became more heated as your mouths crashed together slowly and passionately. Your hands traveled up his chest and around his neck, pulling your bodies closer together. His heart was beating just as wildly as yours was.

In between kisses, you breathlessly invited him in for wine and he agreed.

You were in for quite the night.

Everything now was silent. The only thing that was audible was the sound of the two of you breathing and the occasional shiver from you.

Daveed snuck a glance at your huddled form in the opposite corner of the elevator, closing your eyes and trying to stay as warm as possible in the soaked dress you were wearing. His eyes softened a little bit before he removed his Babylon jacket and crawled forward a little bit to hand it to you.

Your eyes snapped wide open at his gesture and you shook your head, trying to push the jacket away from you and towards him.

“I-It’s fine, I don’t need it.” You tried to refuse.

He shook his head stubbornly. “Just take the damn jacket, Y/N.” He said, breaking eye contact before he softly added, “You’re gonna freeze to death.”

You were in shock for a few seconds before you slipped the jacket on gratefully, trying not to inhale his scent that was embedded in the fabric that basically consumed you due to its size.

“Thank you,” you murmured softly, huddling into a ball again to warm yourself up (hopefully at a more efficient pace this time).

“Holy shit, D, thank you!” You smiled brightly and excitedly up at your gorgeous boyfriend.

It was your birthday and he had gone all out. After you asking for weeks, Your boyfriend finally took you up from LA to the Bay area so he could show you the place where he grew up. You both spent the entire day bouncing from location to location until Daveed had taken you to most of his favorite spots in his hometown.

When you guys got back to the hotel room, he had surprised you with a present you honestly weren’t expecting: VIP tickets to see your favorite artist live in concert.

When you saw them, you were beyond ecstatic and immediately rushed forward to hug Daveed.

“You know you didn’t have to do all of this for me, right?” Your voice was muffled due to your face being buried into his chest.

“I know, but I did anyway because I’m a good boyfriend.” He grinned, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to your forehead.

“That is very true.”

“The best boyfriend.” He added. You could feel him smirk as he mumbled against you.

“The best? Hmm…I don’t know about that one, Daveed…” You teased.

“Oh really?” He pulled his head away from yours to playfully narrow his eyes at you.

“Kidding, kidding.” You laughed, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek. “You may or may not be the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

He chuckled and kissed you softly before he murmured, “Good, because I may or may not be in love with you.”

Your breath hitched and in a split second, your brain was going into emotional overdrive. He loved you. Knowing that made you feel tingly inside, like every time he looked at you in a certain way. The way that turned your insides to warm mush and made you want him and only him to exist on the planet with you. The same look in the same way that you unknowingly gave him. Recalling all of this, you realized that you felt the same way.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to reciprocate his feelings. You were supposed to get him to spill his secrets and leave. But you didn’t care because at this moment, you didn’t give a fuck about your job anymore. And you just realized that you hadn’t for awhile.

Because the most important thing in your life was right in front of you.

“I’m in love with you, too, Daveed.” You whispered, pulling his mouth down to yours again sweetly.

The tense silence was too much for you. You couldn’t be alone with your thoughts around him. It was killing you.

“So, uh, how’ve you been?” You asked hesitantly, your voice suddenly filling up the small space.

“Busy,” he replied shortly, “but fine.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Back at you,” he said finally looking up to make eye contact again. “I’m just here for a photoshoot and interview.”

“Wait, shouldn’t you be on tour?” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows. You remembered him saying that he was going to be on an international tour with clipping. before everything went wrong.

“We’re on a break for a few weeks before we go up to Iceland for a show.” He responded. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be in LA? You’re on the wrong coast.”

He was being cold towards you…but the worst part was that he had every right to be.

“I have a job interview here with Esquire.” You answered as strongly as you could.

“Oh, really?” He asked. “Did you finally get sick of your old job?”

A pang of guilt rang throughout your chest, and you felt ten times worse than you did before. He dealt the low blow. He went there.

“Mmm, can’t you skip today? Take a sick day?” Daveed murmured into the back of your bare shoulder.

A small grin tugged at the corner of your mouth as you turned around to face him, pressing a kiss to his bicep. “Babe, I did that last week.” You reminded him in a soft voice.

“Do it again.” He replied, finally opening his eyes to gaze down at you. “Just say that your cold came back or something, I don’t fuckin’ know.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure, they totally won’t be suspicious that I came to work yesterday perfectly healthy, but today am suddenly sick with a cold again.”

Daveed pulled you tighter against him, trailing his lips down your jaw as he spoke. “Please? Just for today, Y/N, I promise. I’ll make this the last day you ever take off for me.”

You closed your eyes and leaned into him. “Hmm,” you hummed. “You’re gonna have to do better convincing than that, Diggs.”

He smirked before he moved to hover over you, leaning down to press his lips to yours. You hummed again in contentment as you kissed him back lazily.

The moment was ruined by your phone ringing on your night stand, causing both of you to groan and break apart.

“Who is it?” Daveed asked in a low voice that made chills run up your spine.

“My boss,” you groaned again. “I don’t wanna pick it up.”

“Then don’t,” he suggested, rolling off of you to lay on his back directly beside you.

You sighed. “It’s probably important if he’s calling me while I’m at home.”

“Then pick it up.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” You chuckled before you moved out of bed to answer the call.

“Hello?” You said, walking towards the doorway of Daveed’s room.

When you went to close the door on your way out, you heard Daveed whispering loudly to ‘tell him you’re sick’. You chuckled to yourself as you heard Jason rapidly begin to talk.

“Where the hell is the article, Y/N? I told you we needed it by the 14th! What the hell! Why are you late on your deadline?”

Your eyes widened as you tried to explain yourself. “Jason, I-”

“Y/N, we need this article by tomorrow the latest. No excuses.” Jason told you.

“Jason, I can’t, I’m sorry.”

The line went silent for a moment…not a good sign.

“You…can’t?” You could practically feel the anger that was on simmer at the moment.

“I can’t.” You said again. “I won’t. Look, I know I agreed to this earlier and everything, but…I’m not doing this. I’m not writing the article. I’ll become an editor another way.”

Jason was slow to speak, as if he was choosing his next words carefully. “Y/N, we need this article. We are depending on you.”

“I know, and I apologize.”

“This is going to cost you your job in the long run, you know that, right?” He no longer sounded like he was in control of his anger.

“I know.”

There was silence for a few more moments before your boss responded again.

“Well, in that case,” he said, “happy job hunting.”

You swallowed thickly and hung up the phone, setting it on Daveed’s countertop. You didn’t know how to feel. You just got told that you were about to lose your job. You should’ve felt sad, but you didn’t. Maybe this was a good thing. A good thing that you were finally separated from the only toxic thing that was in your life.

You made your way back to Daveed’s room with a smile on your face. Daveed watched you as you climbed into bed and wrapped your arms around his shirtless torso, resting your head on his chest.

 “So?” Daveed asked, automatically letting his arms wrap around you.

 “I’m yours all day.”

The guilt was eating you alive. You couldn’t hold it inside you anymore. You had to fix things.

“I’m sorry.” You blurted out.

 “For the elevator?” He raised an eyebrow. “It’s not your fault. Something probably just went wrong with-”

You cut him off. “No, you know what I’m talking about, D.”

He sighed, breaking eye contact and scratching his beard. “You know what Y/N? I really didn’t wanna fucking talk about this with you.”

“Dav-”

“Much less on a fuckin’ broken elevator.” He continued

“Daveed, if you’d just hear me out, please.”

“No,” The man across from you said, shaking his head. “I’m not going through all this all over again, Y/N, I can’t.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to explain that night!”

“There was nothing to explain! The story was pretty well laid out in that damn article they wrote about us.”

“It was a tabloid article, half of it isn’t true!” You yelled. “Why couldn’t you at least let me explain everything to you?”

“Daveed? You okay?”

A week later, you had asked Daveed to come over so you could talk to him about everything that happened with your job. He deserved to know. But that didn’t stop you from being nervous about the way he could possibly react.

Now you were both on your couch, watching netflix and you were trying to get the guts to tell him everything. But the way he was acting now was scaring you.

He ignored you and kept his eyes glued to his phone. His eyes were furrowed in concentration and he looked like he was deep in thought.

“Carebear, what’s-”

“Don’t call me that.” Daveed’s voice was stone cold and his eyes were the same when they snapped to yours.

Your heartbeat started racing as your eyes widened.

“What’s going on, Daveed?” You asked carefully, hoping that your suspicions weren’t true. He couldn’t know, could he?

He was full on glaring at you now. “Don’t act like you don’t know, Y/N.” He said, clenching his jaw. “Former TMZ reporter Y/N Y/L/N dates Blackish star Daveed Diggs to expose his deepest secrets to the media.” He read the headline out loud to you. You could see him visibly shaking, so you reached a hand out to comfort him, but he sharply pulled away. “You used me.”

You could feel your heart break. No no no no no no, this could not be happening. Not now of all times. Not when you were about to tell him.

”Daveed,” you started hesitantly, “listen to me, I can explain.”

He rolled his eyes. “You fucking used me.” He stood up from your couch.

“D, whatever you saw online isn’t true. You have to let me explain.”

He swallowed and turned to glance at you. “So you didn’t have the intention of dating me only to find out personal details about my life to then write an article and publish it through TMZ?”

You hesitated.

He scoffed, throwing his head back incredulously. “Wow.”

“I-”

“I should’ve known.” Daveed started. “I mean, you were a reporter and I knew about it. I don’t know why I didn’t think anything of it. I should’ve fucking known!” He yelled towards the end.

“Daveed! Please-.”

“You know what?” He continued, ignoring your pleas to listen to you. “I can’t even blame you. This is  my fault. I never should’ve let myself fall for your tricks. I should’ve booked it the moment you told me you worked for a company like that.”

“Hear me out.” You began to cry. “Please, Daveed.”

He paused and stared at you for a second. You felt so vulnerable. As if everything had suddenly been ripped out from under you.

Daveed pursed his lips before he turned away, heading towards your front door. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

You were wrong. Whatever you felt earlier wasn’t your heart breaking. It was nothing compared to what you felt now.

“I was broken, Y/N! You broke me!” He yelled. “Do you know how hard it is to find out that the person you love was only dating you so they could make profit off details about your personal life? Do you?”

“D, it wasn’t like th-”

“Are you sure, Y/N? Because I think it was exactly like that.”

“I never told them anything!” You quickly responded. “Daveed, they fired me because I never wrote the article. I…I couldn’t expose your life like that. I couldn’t do that to you. Not when I got to know the real you. Not when I realized I was in love with-”

“Don’t.” He replied coldly. “Don’t do that. Don’t spit bullshit at me, Y/N. You’ve done enough.”

“I’m not bullshitting you, Daveed. I never lied to you. Every time I told you I loved you, I meant every word. It was all completely authentic. The kisses, the smiles, the laughs, the feelings, none of it was fake for me. The more I got to know you, the more I began to forget about my job. That’s how it was from day one. When we started dating, none of it mattered to me anymore because I had you.” You said, trying to hold eye contact with him. “Please, Daveed, you have to believe me.”

“How am I supposed to know that for sure?”

You sighed, knowing he was exactly right. He wouldn’t know for sure. “I know I should have never taken the job in the first place; It’s something only a horrible, terrible person would do. But at the time, I had nothing. No friends or family in the area, a tiny overpriced apartment, and a terrible low-paying job at TMZ that I thought was going to be my dream job. They kept telling me they were going to give me a position as an editor, but it never happened. I was in a dark place and I was desperate to move my rank up. Because I was tired of being slept on. I wanted to be someone, Daveed.” You said, close to breaking out into tears. “And this isn’t an excuse by any means for what I did to you. I’m not trying to justify what I did; I have no right to. And I’m sorry.”

“You said you never lied to me.” He stated after a few seconds, shaking his head. “You lied about your job. You just said you were a journalist, you didn’t specify which company you worked for. You never told me about your “deal” with your boss-”

“I didn’t lie. I just left those details out-”

Daveed scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning his head to look the other way.

“-but I was gonna tell you! I swear to God I was going to tell you! You saw the headline before I had the chance.”

“You had plenty of chances, Y/N.” He said, turning back to you. His eyes were swimming with emotion; any trace of the anger you had seen before had suddenly vanished and been replaced with hurt.

Silence consumed the vacant space between you and Daveed, leaving you both to simmer in your thoughts. Daveed had his eyes shut as he hung his head, trying to keep himself together. When you caught his gaze, his eyes were glistening with tears. Seeing him like this hurt you deeply.

“I was scared, D.” You whispered softly, now on the brink of tears again. Your voice held every emotion you had felt since that night. “I was afraid that this was going to happen between us, so I waited…but it happened anyway and everything still got fucked up.”

He stayed silent and you let your tears fall before you wiped them away with your- Daveed’s jacket sleeve. Nothing was audible except for the sound of Daveed’s shaky breathing and your sniffs from crying.

“I’m so so sorry, Daveed. You don’t deserve any of this, you deserve so much better.” Your voice was quiet and broken. “This is all my fault, you have every right to hate me. God, even I hate me right now. I’m such a terrible human being-”

“Stop.” Daveed interrupted you, making you shut up immediately. “What you did was cruel, but you’re not a terrible person. I know that’s not true.”

The tears continued to fall down your face despite his attempt to make you feel better.

This situation was so fucked up. You wished you could erase everything that had happened between you two. You wished you could go back to before everything got fucked up between you and Daveed. Everything had been amazingly perfect then.

“Yo, get your own slice, Mooch.” Daveed teased, snatching his slice of pizza out of your grasp before you could take another bite. You were watching Pirates of the Caribbean in Daveed’s apartment and you were too lazy to get up from the couch to get another slice of pizza from his kitchen.

You frowned when he confiscated the pizza but raised an eyebrow at the teasing nickname he called you. “Did you just call me ‘Smooch’?”

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at you. “Mooch,” he corrected you with a mouth full of pizza.

“Mooch?”

He nodded, swallowing his food. “You know, someone who takes stuff from people and never gives anything in return?”

“Are you saying that I never give back?”

“Well, whenever you steal my food-”

“-which has only been a few times,” you cut in.

“-yeah, pretty much.” He finished simply.

You gave him a look before a smirk appeared on your face. You moved your body over his lap to straddle him, moving his plate onto the side table.

“Fine, then I guess I’ll have to repay you for everything I’ve ever stolen.” You replied, hovering your lips over his.

“In that case, you’ll have to pay me extra because I’m pretty sure you stole my heart.” He smiled, lifting a hand up to rest on your hip.

“Wow, I never knew Daveed Diggs could be so cheesy.”

Your comment made him laugh before he leaned in to kiss you.

“Shut up, Mooch.” He mumbled against your lips.

“Y/N, I can’t forgive you.” Daveed whispered. The words pained him to say out loud. “You know that, right?”

You swallowed hard, looking away from him as you heard the words you were dreading to hear. You knew it was coming…you just didn’t expect it to hit you this hard. But you stood your ground as best as you could. You knew you had to stay strong.

“I know.” You whispered back, holding back another sob.

“I’m sorry.” The words came out softly, as if he on the verge of a sob as well.

It took you a few seconds to respond back. “You have nothing to be sorry for, D.“ You sniffed. “Not your fault.”

After that none of you spoke for a while, leaving you alone with your thoughts. That’s when you came to the realization that you actually couldn’t see things getting any better between you two. There was no fixing this any time soon, it was just too much. You wished so badly that things could go back to normal, but you knew that couldn’t happen.

You were both too broken.