#also slipped an eva reference in there

[evita-shelby]

12 Days of Smuff: Day 9

Day 9:Sharing a drink + toys

Tommy x Eva as decided by my poll

Cw: female masturbation, ye olde vibrators of 1928(first electrical one!), accidental orgasm denial, reference of a sex related death inthe season 3 Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries ,Death and Hysteria

It had been a long day.

With the holidays around the corner, Tommy was running himself ragged making sure there was a Birmingham to come back to after they returned from their holiday.

Today was his last day at his office in London and he intended to enjoy a quiet evening at home with his darling wife and three children.

He hadn’t been home all week, Eva had visited him in London while doing some last minute shopping and the gangster turned politician intended to make up for lost time.

The children were in school, his family away at their own homes and as far as anyone knows he was in 10 Downing Street as usual.

Perfect opportunity to surprise his wife.

He hears a strange whirring sound he assumes is a cleaning appliance as comes nearer and then he hears it.

Yes, a perfect opportunity, Tommy tells himself when he smells the incense burning in her sitting room downstairs and takes his Christmas whiskey with him down the hall.

Quiet moans and his name as she gets closer and closer to orgasm. She’s gotten bolder, his witch may be into fucking where they could get caught but never where the maids can hear them.

Especially when she’s pleasuring herself.

Did she think the appliance would cover the noise of her fucking herself at the thought of him?

The appliance also makes the lights flicker in the hall and the library, he’d have someone check the electrical again. Some of his constituents had lost their building when someone introduced their fancy new toaster to their kitchen.

But enough of that, rose incense was what she always burned when she wanted to fuck. Had she anticipated his early return?

Perhaps she had and was waiting for him to come and join her.

“Aren’t you afraid Santa’s going to put you on the naughty list, love?” Tom asks entering the witch’s sanctuary that smells wonderfully of sex and rose incense.

She’s spread with her knees drawn and her slip bunched around her stomach as she holds a personal massager she saw on a catalog to her pussy and plays with her tits with her free hand.

It’s a sight to come home to even if he dislikes the idea of having a fucking toy involved on their sex life.

He can claim it was a matter personal safety, but in truth he hated the idea that a piece of metal with a rubber handle could easily take his place in her bed.

What if I get lonely when you’re away? The witch had asked when he tried to stop her from buying it in London.

Use your hands like you’ve always done, woman, he had answered only for her not to listen and buy it anyways.

She is about to cum, he can tell by the way she shuts her eyes and her words turn to barely coherent babbles. Tommy hates to admit it is a well-made object as she only sounds like that when he fucks her, and regular fucking is the secret to his wife’s youthful glow.

Not that she is old, she is only 32, but the way she talks about her age you’d think she was approaching ninety.

He doesn’t notice the wire extending from the socket to the couch as he comes to join her at the loveseat moved closer to it. Well he doesn’t notice it until he trips over it and the toy flies off her hand and dies on the floor along with all the lights in the house.

“Jesus, fuck, Tommy!” Eva can barely manage to look at him having been so cruelly interrupted. “You could’ve killed me!”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Tom offers her the whiskey as he kicks the broken massager out of his way and joins her on the couch. “Naughty witch, gonna cost me an arm and a leg to get the wiring fixed before Christmas.”

“You like it when I’m naughty, besides I told you we needed it fixed when the hairdryer blew that fuse weeks ago.” She drinks while he makes himself comfortable. The fright and the interrupted climax needed it more than he did.

“We agreed to get it done this week when we’ll be going to visit your kin in Florida because you’re tired of the cold.” He reminds her as they go back to being Mr. And Mrs. Shelby who’ve been married for eight years and six months. “You were explicitly told not to plug shit in too many things at once, and I explicitly told you I don’t like you sticking electric appliances in your cunny. Remember the woman who died in Australia, Evie?

What would I tell the children when they ask how their mother died? That she fucked herself to death?”

“Oh, yes, that would look great on my obituary, Tommy.” Eva jokes and gives him a look that has him roll his eyes at her.

Of course, how could he forget that the toy left her ready to explode.

He’ll make it up to her later, when the repairmen leave and she sees how expensive her little toy was.

He should deny her relief, as punishment, and he does. “Naughty girl’s don’t get to cum.”

[rebelspektrum]

GUARDIAN FILE - Maja Lundström (Template by mozindale on Tumblr) Long post ahead!

Guardians name: Maja Lundström

Age: 29 when she died/Centuries old since her first ressurection

Race: Human

Call signs/alias: Moon, Firefly

Pronouns: She/her

Class: Titan

Preferred subclass(es): Solar, Strand

Ghost's name: Little Sunshine

Their Vanguard: Saint-14 (formerly), Zavala

Fireteam name: Flame-chasers

Fireteam teammates: Atawhai "Sucell" Kerehoma (at times, Fireteam "we slipped" consisting of Sentry "The Bat", Taka-6 and Ashen-2. Other rotating teammates are Concord-11 and Entropy-1.)

Favorite legendary weapon: Seventh Seraph CQC-12

Favorite exotic weapon: Duality

Favorite exotic armor: Pyrogale Gauntlets/Wishful Ignorance

Favorite ornament armor set: Kabr's suit

Favorite weapon ornament: Whaler's Whim

What stats do they focus on: Resilience and Strength

Are they offense, defence, or support: Offense

Do they prefer being close, mid, or long range: Close range (will sometimes prefer long range if using bows/scout rifles)

Do they lean more "Element of Surprise" or "Upfront and Aggressive": Upfront and Aggressive; leads to premature deaths but also triumphant victories. Due to her size, can play around with his and surprise enemies who expect a hunter and not a Titan.

Strikes, Gambit, or Crucible: Crucible (to hone her skills and spend time with the Crucible Handler)

Who was their mentor: Upon waking up, a guardian named Atawhai had protected her Ghost from Fallen and vowed to help the Ghost's guardian no matter what. He taught her the ropes of being a good solar wielder along with the other Sunbreakers.

What ship do they have: A Vector-class ship called Imprint

What is their Sparrow: Bitter Poison

Favorite Ghost shell: Captaincy Shell

Favorite shader: Cinderchar and Veist Fieldscale

Favorite color: Green

Favorite food: Anything involving desserts

Favorite piece of Pre-Collapse tech: ???

Favorite Pre-Collapse music(if they've heard any): Drum & Bass

Favorite place in The Last City: The old Hangar

Favorite NPC(s): Eva Levante, Saint-14, Shaxx and Efrideet

Favorite patrol location: EDZ

5 things your Guardian likes:

- Music, especially Piano (She can still play it) - Patrols, just being outside the City's walls - Her custom forged Hammer (Atawhai made it) - Sparring with her fellow Titans - Swimming

Least favorite food: Anything spicy

Least favorite shader: Skitchpaint

Least favorite patrol location: Nessus

Least favorite Pre-Collapse tech: ???

Least favorite NPC(s): Felwinter

Least favorite weapon ornament: Sand and Sun (Traveler's chosen)

Least favorite ornament armor set: Tangled Web Suit

Least favorite legendary weapon: Irukandji

Least favorite exotic weapon: Parasite (she hates the worm ammo)

Least favorite exotic armor: Arbor Warden

5 things your Guardian dislikes:

- Jokes on her accent (being bilingual) - Close-minded people - Tea - Dumb pranks - Dishonesty

Your Guardian has to rest. What is their living space like: A very basic studio situated in the walls. It's very cheap and consists of a small kitchenette, a simple bathroom with a toilet, a sink and a bath/shower and a bedroom with a single bed. There's a rather big window that allows her to see the Last City. She often naps on the couch near said window.

Does your Guardian have any casual wear?: Yes (see references pics on refsheet.net)

What hobbies and/or skills does you Guardian have: Surprisingly talented with piano and singing, a hobby she hasn't much practiced before getting access to a musical hall in the Last City (thanks to some civilians she aided). Maja's also a rather skilled mechanic and sometimes likes to hang with Amanda when she needs to clear her mind off of things.

What would your Guardian's lore book be called: The Moon and the lion

Where was your Guardian reborn?: Found by her Ghost somewhere in nothern Europe, Maja was first reborn from the light in an old military hospital. Something must have gone terribly wrong considering all the skeletons found within the facility.

What were they wearing when they were reborn: She had a bulletproof vest with a massive hole near her heart location, military trousers and boots. Her vest was so torn she had to abandon it. Her hair had remnant of teal in it, her brown roots showing up.

What was their reaction to being reborn: Fear and anger. Had Atawhai not been there, she likely would have hurt Little Sunshine. The Ghost doesn't hold it against her, but like to tease her about it when the occasion comes.

What was their reaction to their first rez: She threw up bile. Happened after training with Atawhai (she mismanaged her grenade).

After being reborn, did they meet friendlies first or hostiles: Friendlies. Quickly learned that other lightbearers might not be as friendly as her mentor and friend and thus distrusted everyone they met.

Who was the first other Guardian they met?: As said earlier, Athawai.

Did your Guardian get reborn with, or find, any indication of their past life? If so what do they have/found: An hospital plastic bracelet. Her name was somewhat intact, her birthdate only showing the day and month.

Going back to your Guardian's lore book, what would be some some quotes or passages from their book: "People always think of me as weaker. I think they forget that no matter my size, I remain a Titan. Ever seen a Hunter fly?" "Sometimes, I regret not having been the one to have a final death. So many have died and I feel powerless. But then I remember that... No matter what, if I'm still there, that means I have to keep fighting to protect the City."

Does your Guardian have a significant other: It's complicated. (Mr Crucible Handler and this fierce titan have their ups and downs) She hasn't truly set her heart in a place, her long life having seen too many go.

Did your Guardian go explore first before going to The Last City? If so, where to: Since she was rezzed during the middle of the Dark Ages, Atawhai showed her a lot of places.

What was their reaction to first seeing The Last City: Maja and Atawhai came back to the Last City when the walls were mostly built. They did help before regaining the wilds and exploring more in the search of possible civilians to escort/save.

Is your Guardian a part of a clan: No Clan

If your Guardian would have a quote as a flavor text for a weapon and/or piece of armor, what would they be: For a bow: "Funny how when you fire with a bow, it's elegant and silent, but when you get hit, it's like a whole tree fell on you." | For a shotgun: "Being up close and personal like that... Just don't get your hopes up."

If your Guardian has had any interactions with any civilians (The Last City/The Farm), Eliksni, Cabal, Vex, Hive, Taken, Scorn, Rogue Lightbearers, or Iron Lords/War Lords(if your Guardian is an Old Light) tell us about it!: During the Dark Ages, Atawhai, part of the Sunbreak order, had cordial relations with the Iron Lords. They both kept their distance but wouldn't mind helping them if needed. They also happened to have accidentally crossed on Shaxx's territory more than once, earning them a few deaths, but never a permanent one. Atahwai thinks it amused Shaxx in a way to see Maja getting so riled up all the time.

Does your Guardian have any unconventional allies or connections(By Vanguard standards): At the time, yes. Maja had connections with some Eliksni's from the House of Devils after helping one of theirs from a certain death from one of the less savory guardians. This earned them to be able to cross some places without being harmed.

How does your Guardian feel about themselves or others using Stasis: Maja is scared of Stasis, not trusting herself with those powers.

Did they run The Last Wish raid? How did they react to seeing a live Ahamkara a.k.a Riven: Maja was around during the Great Hunt. She was heartbroken that these creatures were murdered due to guardians/people using the power of the Wish dragon to do wrong. She however understood why it happened, but never wants to tell tales about it.

Did they run The Deep Stone Crypt raid? How did they react to the Crypt and seeing Exo Eliskni: -

Is your Guardian from D1? How did they react to seeing Taniks alive once again:[Insert string of swedish swear words from how upset she was]

Where did they go and what did they do during The Red War: Tried to help civilians escape as much as she could to the Farm. Almost got herself killed in the process trying to save a dad and his daughter while boarding Atawhai's ship. Had to recover for a while.

Here are some characters that are either polarizing or have created a strong enough mass emotion within the community. What opinion does your Guardian hold on each of them(These are only a handful of characters!)>>>

Osiris, First Warlock Vanguard, originally exiled: She has troubles wrapping her head around him. However, she deeply respect him, no matter how excentric he is

Eris Morn, Bane of the Swarm: Feels awfully sorry for her. Impressed by her.

Cayde-6, Sixth Hunter Vanguard: Finds him very irritable, but is a bit envious of his ability to defuse situations most of the time. His death came like a crashing wave, especially when she heard that it was Sentry who brought back Cayde's body.

Ikora Rey, Second Warlock Vanguard: Often talks with her when they have a bit of time, usually around a cup of coffee. Seeks her when she tries to figure her emotions out.

Commander Zavala, Second Titan Vanguard: Shows respect to him, they've always remained on strictly cordial and professional terms.

Saint-14, legendary Titan, First Titan Vanguard: Absolutely adores the Titan. When he first disappeared, she cried a lot, mourning a friend. Upon the news of him returning to the Tower after Traveler knows how long, was one of the first to greet him with the biggest Titan hug she could make.

Lord Saladin, Iron Banner handler, One of the last remaining Iron Lords: Dislikes him for his choices at Twilight Gap. Still shows him respect.

Lord Shaxx, Crucible handler, Hero of Twilight Gap, living megaphone: Has a strange relationship with the Warlord. Infatuated with him and wishes for more but their duties come first. Sometimes will spar with him, or just share a drink or two. Extremely admirative of him, she tries to outdo herself in the Crucible just to hear his praise on comms (and is often banned for the week for terrorizing the new lights due to it.)

The Crow, New Light, Ex-Enforcer to The Spider: Doesn't really interact much with him. Learned from Sentry about who he was and feels sorry for him.

The Spider, The Shore's Only Law, founder of "House" Spider: Would fight if she could.

Uldren Sov, Prince of the Reef, Master of Crows: Didn't like his antics at all.

Mara Sov, Queen of the Reef, Queen of the Awoken, Ex-Kell of Wolves: Respects her and will do duties if guardians are needed on the Reef. Curious about her. Learning about her and Shaxx's "affair" had her envious.

Variks, the Loyal, founder of House Judgement: No real interaction with him.

Mithrax, the Forsaken, Kell of Light, founder of House Light: Adores the Eliksni, taught him a few human things and will chase anyone teaching him anything wrong.

The Exo Stranger/Elizabeth "Elsie" Bray, Granddaughter of Clovis I and Sister to Ana Bray: Mysterious lady but likes her, especially since she's trying to save her sister in a way. At first, she was very suspicious of her due to her being a Bray.

Empress Caiatl of the Cabal Imperial Empire: Huge admiration on the Cabal Empress. Sparred with her and had great fun.

Taniks the Scarred, the Perfected, the Abomination, the Shadow Thief: Despises the fucker for killing Andal Brask. Can't believe he's not dead yet.

The Darkness is fast approaching. How is your Guardian handling it: Not too well. She is extremely anxious, especially since the Final Shape is upon them, but she will fight. Even if it means she'll draw her last breath. Little Sunshine is on board with it too.

And finally, does your Guardian have any advice for any New Lights: "Don't judge a book by its cover. I can toss a Hunter flying across Twilight Gap like no other."

[puckhq]

― PERSONAL

Name: Noah Theodore Puckerman

Nickname(s): Puck, Puckzilla (if you're nasty 😏)

Age: Thirty-Two (32)

Birthday: August 9, 2024

Gender: Cisman, He/Him/His

Sexuality: Bisexual

Height and build: 6 ft 2 in/188 cm + Athletic and Lean

Place of birth: Wilmington, North Carolina, USA

Place of residence: Los Angeles, California, USA

Type of residence: Single Family Home (the he built)

Extrovert/Introvert: Extrovert

Optimist/Pessimist: Optimist

Illnesses or disabilities: PTSD, Depression, undiagnosed ADHD

― PHYSICAL

Eye color: brown

Hair colou: dark brown/black

Hair length: short tapered side with a little length on top

Memorable physical features: all of his features are memorable, have you seen him? but also his freckles and some notable scars

Posture: stands tal, has good posture overall

Clothing and accessories: everyday wear he's in jeans and a t-shirt or athleisure, wears tennis shoes or tims and loves a good fitted baseball cap usually worn backwards for work he has to wear a suit and non slip dress shoes and no matter what he's got his star of David necklace on other accessories his apple watch, sometimes diamond stud earrings and a gold chain necklace and a gold chain bracelet

Glasses?: no

Tattoos: one over his heart for Maya that he got at 17 with her baby hand print and her birthday 06.02.09 underneath

Piercings: has his ears pierced but doesn't usually have any studs in unless it's a special occasion

Reference: optional reference photo

― FAMILY

Mother: Nora Puckerman

Relationship: He is his mother's pride and joy and his mom is his favorite person. Now, she is the first one to call him out on his shit but she does it with so much love and compassion so it's okay. She has always been loving and supportive and patient with him. Their relationship is and has always been rock solid. To this day, she's about the only person Puck will talk to when he's just not fucking okay. Maybe she's not perfect but she the exact right person to be Puck's mom and he loves her more than anything, except Maya.

Father: Gabriel Puckerman

Relationship: To say that Gabe and Puck's relationship is rocky would be a fucking understatement. When Puck was a kid, up until he was about ten years old, his father was his hero, he wanted to be him when he grew up. Use to sing and play guitar, was even pretty good at it. But eventually he got old enough to realize his father wasn't a good person. For his whole life, Puck's been Gabe's verbal punching bag. Yet, to this day, Puck is the only person willing to help Gabe out of a tough spot. Long story short, it's a fucked up relationship.

Parent relationship: Divorced

Birth order: first born (as far as he knows)

Child's Name: Maya Ruth Puckerman

Age: fifteen (15)

Relationship: They have a very good relationship. Puck, even at sixteen years old, was adamant about making his daughter his number one priority and that has remained true. He knows he's not perfect, he did everything he could to give his kid a good life and she seems well adjusted. He makes as much time for her as he can, although these days she'd rather hang out with pretty much anyone else. But they're still close and Puck has never and will never, love anyone more.

Sibling #1: Jake Puckerman ( @puckjake )

Age: almost twenty-six (26)

Relationship: Even though they only recently found each other, they have quickly adopted each other as family. They get along really well and Jake is Maya's new favorite person, which Puck definitely isn't jealous about. But they quickly regarded each other as family and trust one another. It's sweet and precious and Puck loves being a big brother.

― RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship status: in a semi complicated situationship with Eva Anderson ( @anderseva ) and Morgan Weston ( @morgan-weston )

Notable past romantic relationship(s): Santana Lopez ( @psusantana ) - she is the mother of his child they didnt date so much as have a week of fuckery when they were sixteen and Avery Dunn ( @averydunn ) - they dated for a bit when Puck was stationed in Louisiana, but Puck fucked it up and cheated on her

Sexual history: Zach Wilde ( @zachwilde ) - friends with benefits for the last nine months

Best friend(s): Cooper Anderson ( @actorcooper ) and his mom

Friends: Delilah Rose ( @rose-delilah ), Maeve Flynn-Abrams ( @ltcdrmaeveflynnabrams ) and Penny Sylvester ( @pennysylvester )

Antagonist(s): does Gabe count?

Roommate(s): Just Maya and also kinda Jake atp

― EDUCATION & CAREER

Past college education: none

Current education: A freshman at PSU, Fire Science Major

Past job(s): House/pool cleaner & construction - worked these in high school, Marines - enlisted at 18 was honorably discharged at 30

Current job/career: Security at PSU

Wanted job/career: Firefighter

― FAVORITES

Favorite band/musician: Queen, Kendrick Lamar, OutKast/Andre 3000 ( rap, rnb, classic rock )

Favorite color: Orange

Favorite season: Summer

Favorite scent: the way a space smells after you bae anything with cinnamon in it and the smell of whoever he's in love with

Favorite food: carne asada fries, poke, pot roast and a good ole burger

Favorite drink: water and sugar free redbull and $0.99 Arizonia drinks

Favorite movie: Fast Five, but the whole fast and furious franchise inclusing Hobbs and Shaw

Favorite TV show: Ginny & Georgia, The Have and the Have Nots and New Girl

[thehmn]

I’m going to spoil the shit of the book now so consider this your warning if you plan on reading it.

As expected the moral of the story is “no sex or gender should be below another” but it’s the first story of its kind I’ve seen where the author use trans people to make their point.

I said earlier that testosterone treatment isn’t an option for the trans men but late in the story it’s strongly implied they have illegal access to both estrogen and testosterone. They provide a trans girl with estrogen and her mother laments that she can no longer tap her for testosterone because the Man Women would pay a pretty penny for it.

If you read the book don’t expect proper terminology to be used for trans people. The author clearly has experience with trans people in our world and is trying to write them into a world where men are seen as not quite animals but definitely not real humans either. That’s why trans men are called Man Women and several characters say “but they’re not REAL men” It’s a mix of characters wanting to acknowledge their humanity because only women are real humans, but also as a way to justify the system. If men are violent creatures that can’t be allowed to walk free in a civilized society but trans men who pump themselves full of testosterone are safe then surely they can’t be REAL men. And yet the trans man Lars who has the biggest silicone penis in the district and the broadest shoulders is the kindest person in the story who provides several characters with both emotional and material goods via his sex work. He never calls himself a Man Woman but simply “someone with a silicone dick” and after losing his ability to breastfeed babies after a few months in prison he decides to not maintain his breasts anymore, commit to a more masculine look.

The system generally doesn’t allow for trans women to exist because if a child is born with a penis they’re immediately sent to one of the centers where they won’t even be taught to talk. But one trans girl slipped through the cracks because her mother managed to hide her by leaving Norway and moving to Denmark where nobody would know she even existed. Her situation isn’t as clear as the trans men because for her it was either a sex change or captivity, but the book never refers to her with anything other than female pronouns and she never laments the loss of her penis. She too is used to make a point. If men and women are really that different then how could nobody tell she was born with a penis? Basically “if the sexes/genders so different then why trans people exist?” (or “We have differences but they aren’t big enough for trans people not to exist”) It really wants to hammer home that it’s insane to divide men and women into boxes because we are all human and all capable of love and harm.

Besides that it has a bunch of interesting little details. In this future depictions of Jesus on the cross is used to scare men at the centers and remind them what happens to them out in the real world. Also apple slices are handed out a Christian ceremonies in memory of Eva. Snakes are considered symbols of femininity and one of the witches has a huge snake that only thrive on eating male snakes, however she eventually realize the snake doesn’t have to eat males, it just need male blood, symbolizing the need for the feminine and masculine to exist together.

It’s also fantasy-light. Magic is subtle but real. The main witch bake love cakes for Lars that actually works though in a way subtle way. His customers don’t fall head over heels in love with him but the cakes make them want to use his services more often. The Christian priest keeps plants around her bed and notice that they grow better when she has good sex. Another character is a stone cold skeptic but has the ability to understand plants (so much in fact that she hates eating plants and has an almost exclusively meat based diet) and has telepathic connections with dogs without realizing it.

Maren Uthaug’s books are always full of colorful characters and bizarre situations so I’m sure it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I’d highly recommend 11% if this sounds interesting to you.

I’m currently listening to Maren Uthaug’s book 11% about a world where most men have died. I should probably wait until I’ve finished the book but I’m so fascinated by the world building.

As of now it’s still unclear why the men died but when the story takes place there’s a mix of older women who fucking hates men and young women who have only met drugged up men at “breeding centers” and imagine “males” as violent boogeymen but otherwise don’t really care and just want to live in the new seemingly perfect society their grandmothers fought for. The only people who still fight for men’s rights are witches who believe masculine energies are as natural and Of Nature as feminine energies, but even they sound more like animal rights activists, standing outside breeding centers with signs every Friday. Their most provocative sign is a picture of a man with Human written on it.

Christianity has been completely transformed and is now run by priests (they don’t call themselves priestess) who can only hold ceremonies when they have their periods and snakes are their most sacred symbol because they gave knowledge to Eva and God is called The Mother.

Trans men exist but are referred to as Man Women and they all seem to be sex workers who have functional silicone penises, though I’m not far enough into the story to know if they have other jobs. They generally also still have breasts because working as a wet nurse is another source of income for them. Testosterone treatments is not an option because it would make them too masculine and dangerous to be allowed into society but they all have male names and everyone use male pronouns for them.

A really fascinating aspect of the world is how people want to get rid of the old “patriarchal architecture” of straight lines and boxes but refuse to tear it down with machines, instead insisting on letting Mother Nature reclaim it. Only Rat Girls are actively trying to destroy the old buildings by releasing hoards of rats into them and planting bamboo to break up the concrete. New buildings have round shapes and are build in ways that make them blend in with cultivated nature and inside they’re painting in beautiful colors with no hard edges. They sound a lot like colorful hobbit homes. Also, locks are considered uncivilized and of a time when violent men roamed the earth and made life unsafe so nothing, from front doors to bathrooms, have locks. For a while after most men died women would go for Night Walks to relish in the fact that they no longer had to be afraid, though they liked to visit the witches at night because it felt a little spooky, which the witches thought was good fun.

The story is naturally about a middle aged witch who is hiding a young boy illegally and gets milk from one of the trans men in the red district while also sleeping with a Christian priest who struggles with her sacred job because her periods are irregular.

I’ll come back with follow up thoughts once I’ve finished it. Unlike what you might think, Maren Uthau isn’t a scary man hater. I’ve listened to most of her other books and this isn’t a recurring trope so clearly she has something to say specifically with this story and it’s rated pretty highly by both male and female readers. I think I’m in for quite the ride.

[turtlebluem]

We are making PROGRESS

Im making the panels of his arm out of another layer of EVA foam. I have a feeling it's gonna go kinda poorly? I'm just happy it's going pretty okay rn.

This is the chalk I'm using to outline, it is shattering at a rapid pace. I have no other chalk.

These are the panels all splayed out, the lines are really Not Good but I'm confident it'll end up okay.

These are my main references as far as the arm goes, it's a struggle to get the angles but I don't think the inner arm design matters are much, so I'm just winging that part. Idl if ill be able to get the little designs correct, so thoughts and prayers in that regard. The bottom right is also good for trying to figure out what tf to do for the back harness thing hes got. I found a thing on amazon thats supposed to strap to a medpack on the chest, but i could mutilate it to look like the holster. The top right image is from a listing on Etsy for an actual winter soldier arm thing by 3dPlanetProps, which is super cool and I'll be linking the listing at the bottom of this post.

I don't know if I'll have knee pads? I've been trying to keep on top of those but they're kinda slipping away rn. We'll have to see how that unfolds.

The contacts came in!! I'll show those off when I get the mask n such.

ITS HAPPENING GUYS IM SEEING THINGS HAPPEN THIS IS GREAT!!

winter soldier arm: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1381481921/winter-soldier-vibranium-arm-bucky?

[h-techsafetyshoes007]

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[3d10fire-damage]

Colors That Run Highlights 37

where beast?

Back in Kiran! Preparations for the Harvest Festival were in full swing, with people of all ages bustling around. As the group made their way through town toward the temple, some of the local farm animals seemed unnerved by Fea, while Slim and Calypso seemed to make them feel a bit more at ease.

Eva considered splitting off from the group to get started on her teleportation circle, but was convinced to put it off until later. Bree made a joke about the teleportation circle being like the DMV, which makes it seem much worse than it probably is. And jury’s still out on whether or not Kattie and Eva slept together in Aegis...

Once at Kiran’s temple, the group was greeted by Calypso’s mom Zoroe. Calypso asked if it was cool to smoke inside the temple, Zoroe said no, so Calypso nudged Slim and told him not to smoke in there. The priestess brought out some snacks and drinks for the party, and was quite proud and excited to learn that Calypso had taken some levels in cleric and could heal now. Calypso even demonstrated some of her spells, namely that she’s able to heal Fea. Slim was rather amused/endeared that Calypso had another mother figure that he hadn’t known of previously.

Zoroe mentioned that she and Andraya had taken bets on whether Calypso would stick exclusively to monk training; she also mentioned that she and Andraya had been writing to each other on a monthly basis since Zoroe left the monastery (like 20 years ago). 👀 (Kattie privately discerns that those two are mostly likely in fact 👀.)

Calypso referred to Zoroe as a “square” much to the confusion of the rest of the group. See, a square is like a nerd, but not necessarily in an intellectual way--

There was more discussion about how Calypso made out with Leawei to obtain her clerical magic because that dream sequence is the gift that keeps on giving. Slim spent some quality time with the monument to Jediah, and Fea was rather fascinated by the huge stained glass windows of the Cordias pantheon that decorated the temple-- she can actually see them. Kattie and Eva flirted(?) over snacks because Eva apparently struggles to do self care. 👀 Meanwhile Egg ate snacks until he was actually the shape of an egg. Truly the best of us.

Shortly the group were introduced to Kiran’s leader, Declan White, who was a pretty man with a rather distinct manner of speaking. Valor abruptly pivoted back into a “boy mood” which Calypso snickered about with Fea. Declan explained what the group would be doing during the festival the following evening, namely protecting the city should anything try to interfere with the transporting of the harvest. Kattie attempted to sorta wingwoman for Valor, but it didn’t work.

Fea asked Zoroe if the party could stay at the temple overnight, which Zoroe allowed. But first the party set out to get lit and do some stupid shit. Namely: cow tipping, as suggested by Slim. Valor, Fea, and Eva decide not to participate, but Slim showed ‘em all the ropes, and both Calypso and Kattie tip their own cows with flying colors (Calypso even nat 20′d and did a flip on hers for no reason).

Fea commented that Calypso would surely have a hangover in the morning, which Calypso insistently denied. She wasn’t even that drunk, and performed a successful but slightly shaky back flip to prove it. But then when she attempted a second one, she nat 1′d and fell flat on her ass. God bless. On the way back to the temple, Kattie and Slim fell into song with their respective instruments. Slim kept slipping into his Spanish lyrics.

In the morning, (most of) the party awoke to nasty hangovers. Slim used his Boy on Cow ability to ease his own condition, which led to him getting griped at by Kattie. He healed her as well before slinking off to his coffee. Zoroe again advertised the temple’s service that would be held around noon, which Slim, Fea, and Calypso opted to attend. Valor headed out to get cleaned up and presentable (and to window shop) for like three hours.

Zoroe led the service, speaking of Jediah and Rissund, most closely associated with Kiran’s Harvest Festival. She made some sort of analogy about planting and foster the growth of seeds. It was a good service because Zoroe is good 🥺

Once it was night (a full moon, mind you), the party split up, taking up watch at the north, south, east, and west cardinal points of Kiran. At the north, Valor was attacked by a wereboar who refused to answer her questions of motive. She and Sven defeated the beast, who afterward reverted into a man with brown hair and a beard. Valor stabilized him with Goodberry, the best spell.

Similarly, in the south, Fea was attacked by a weretiger, though the beast got a bit more of a jump on her since she couldn’t spot them until they were right on her, basically. Fea however refused to fight back with her blades, so she wrestled the weretiger to the ground and held them there.

At the west, Slim and Kattie discussed crafting a little guitar for Liz, the pixie they had met near Marstis until they were attacked by a werewolf. Between Kattie’s powerful attacks and Slim’s lasso and a nice pistol whip (Kattie said Calypso was rubbing off on him), they subdued the creature, who also reverted into a man, this time a red-headed elf. Afterward Slim teleported via shadows with Xio to check in on Calypso, who told him that nothing had happened there in the east all night.

However, after a while a positively gigantic bear appeared, walking toward Kiran without any hesitation. Slim realized this was no standard bear, and after some questioning and placing himself between the bear and the city, the bear actually spoke (magically).

The two of them allowed this bear to pass, and with each step she took, freshly grown grasses were forming. Rissund herself, god of agriculture. Once she was gone from sight, Slim was sweating loudly about the encounter, and Calypso was less impressed, as per usual. With the festival drawing to a close, Slim collected everyone together, bringing along the subdued werebeasts.

With everyone gathered in the south, the weretiger reverted to a young lady. All of the lycanthropes back to their senses, they each explained what had led them to the festival (one of them hadn’t even known they had contracted the condition) and the party agreed to bring them to the temple to see if Zoroe could cure them.

Back at the temple, the discussion of Slim and Calypso’s encounter with Rissund derailed into a conversation about smash-or-pass: pantheon edition. This involved Valor recalling that she had dreamed of Kildak (god of the skies) before, and thus the ‘are you a dragon fucker’ questions began. Slim explained that he had a crush harbored some hero worship for Jediah. Fea spotted a cowboy off to the side tending to some oxen and approached him, rather brazenly, asking him if he would smash or pass Jediah.

When Fea returned, she expressed to Slim that the cowboy she spoke to seemed... different. She meaningfully gazed up at the stained glass window of Jediah. Mortified that the Jediah had overheard Slim’s thoughts and affections for him, Slim began to plot his escape from this mortal coil, but Fea stopped him. Hey, who knows, maybe Slim has a chance with his god.

With their mission accomplished, the party found a bathhouse and took some time to clean up and relax. Fea and Calypso got a private room so that Fea could... de-skin? Re-skin? Something with her dead skin, without scaring any of the other bathers. And of course, Slim caught up on his stories and wrote a letter. (Also at some point I can’t recall, Calypso was heckling Valor, or “queenie,” but then did honestly say Valor looked lovely. Valor proudly declared then and there that Calypso had in fact given her a compliment.)

The following day, the Breakfast Club set out for Smoth. As a group they decided that when they found the group of penitent undead there, they would deal with them as non-violently as possible. They arrived in Smoth in the rain, and Slim took point in asking the barkeep (an unfortunately attractive minotaur) for some directions to what they were looking for.

Soon enough the group found the undead, accompanied by a dark figure with piercing blue orbs for eyes. She was standing off against a group of rough-looking individuals, led by a large yakfolk man. In the interest of keeping things non-lethal, Valor fired a warning shot at the yakfolk and told him to back off from the undead. Calypso, not at all following Valor’s thread, ran up and put the hurt on the guy, even stunning him.

Fea took a protective stance between the bandits and the dark figure (who had put up some kind of barrier around herself). Kattie cast Shatter to knock out a couple of bandits, and startled another to run off. After that, the yakfolk agreed to get the hell out of there, and all the bandits headed out. Fea began addressing the mage, called Ikarene-- the ensuing conversation took place in Abyssal, so none of the others could follow.

Fea relayed some info to the rest of the group, explaining that Ikarene’s purpose was to escort the penitent undead to Calamity and that the group ought to help them get there safely. After some considering of their options, the group decided to teleport them all back to Guild City. From there, they’d travel into the mountains to Fort Silver and secure them safe passage across the water to Calamity. Kattie used Sending to inform Anna of this, and Anna said she’d make the best preparations she could.

Fea determined she would remain with Ikarene and the undead for the night, to make sure they would be safe. The rest of the party went back to Smoth, where the barkeep from earlier (Toark) said that their checks were in the mail, basically. Slim paid for everyone’s food and rooms, and ended up landing himself a nice night with Toark.

Meanwhile, Calypso agreed to share a room with Valor, and Valor declared it would be a Girls’ Night. She, of course, had to explain what a girls’ night even was, since Calypso hadn’t really had one before. Face masks, talking about crushes, all that. Plus tiefling rite of passage stuff, since Valor was too sheltered to have done any of that kind of thing, apparently.

(And then there was text RP where Valor insisted pretty much everyone could tell Fea and Calypso were basically a thing, and told her to consider going for it. Calypso denied everything and didn’t think anything would ever even happen. But the tief squad did kinda bond a little, in spite of it all. ALSO Valor couldn’t handle fire like your standard tiefling can, and she’s apparently gotten sunburns in the past. Bwuh?)

(Additionally, Fea and Ikarene had a conversation wherein Fea said she had grown confident in the present of people that cared about her, despite the fact that she is dead and Abyssal. Ikarene pressed X to doubt, thinking that Fea’s disguise would drop at some point. Welp.)

[01comic]

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[fancyshooting]

YES OCELOT IS A LIAR. HOWEVER...

for all his deceit and treachery, ocelot ironically seems to value authenticity. there are plenty of examples of this across the entire series

in mgs1, when solid snake says, "you're all just a bunch of sadists," ocelot is offended at the notion of being grouped in with "uniformed fools," i.e. those who conform and blindly follow orders in order to achieve someone else's goals

even though he is playing up the "russian patriot" act, he also mentions "true feelings being suppressed"

this might not have meant too much at the time but as his character has developed, it is clear just how important sincerity is in regards to ocelot, especially the relationship between him and big boss

this excerpt from the snake eater novel offers some insight into snake's reasons for stopping eva shooting ocelot:

"Ocelot, who had been backing away, turns his back and runs away without being afraid. Eva raises the visor of her helmet and tries to shoot him with her Mauser. "Wait!"

Snake pushed her arm to deflect her aim. The corner of Snake's mouth turns up, and she blames him.

"Why?"

She had been suspected by Snake last night. But Snake pushed through his emotions, as if he had regained the man he was before he was betrayed. This is the kind of man he was in his own right. In this mission, Ocelot is on the enemy side and he [Snake] is on this side. But it was a shame to shoot a man in the back who had shown himself to be so hateful in an operation full of betrayals."

snake finds ocelot's genuine frustration and open contempt almost a comfort. his emotions are clear and uncomplicated. this is refreshing after the surprise defection by the boss. we know how close snake was to the boss. her defection crushed and destabilised him, forcing him to question what he believed to be certain. the boss was the last person he ever expected to turn her back on her country, so for her to switch allegiance with seemingly no guilt or second thoughts leaves snake feeling disorientated. ocelot acting exactly as an enemy should alleviates these feelings of confusion and doubt, providing a source of stability

ocelot struggles to give anything but a genuine reaction whenever snake is mentioned (btw this is what I think is meant by "pure and likeable" in his casting sheet description. pure as in raw emotion). he has been comfortably undercover for four years, yet slips up in front of his superior with "he's good..." and somehow manages to make his "infatuation" with the enemy apparent to tatyana/eva, despite suspecting her of espionage. he is cautious around her yet thoughtlessly reveals an exploitable weakness, something he normally would be meticulous about preventing. he can lie about everything but his feelings for snake. his feelings are so intense that he repeatedly jeopardises his own safety and mission in order to settle a personal score

snake was the one who encouraged him to use a revolver, a weapon ocelot uses not for efficiency but because he finds it personally appealing. the SAA was practically obsolete long before he was even born but he sincerely enjoys using it. he has always had access to modern weapons but instead opts for the gun that grants him fulfilment, even though it puts him at a technical disadvantage

for someone so cold and ruthless, he is oddly sentimental about his guns:

"Old things, things you've used for a long time - they acquire a soul of their own."

they are clearly of great value and significance to him but again, are totally outdated. this doesn't matter to ocelot.

his fondness for his "old things" is telling. he has this line too:

"Power - such a fragrance. Brings back such memories."

he also mentions feeling nostalgic when raiden is captured in mgs2. again, at the time, this would've simply been a reference to mgs1 but now that his background has been expanded upon, we can safely assume that with this line and the others, he is actually referring to his own memories of the events of 1964 and their lifelong impact on him

ocelot is grateful to snake for recognising him as an individual. eva talks briefly about the suppression of spies' identities in favour of aliases and falsehoods. ocelot notoriously does nothing but mislead and deceive, as he has been raised to do. he has not been allowed to develop an identity of his own because that would put the philosophers' objectives at risk. he is a tool of the philosopher's first and a person second. a flicker of his true self shows in his obsession with the SAA, which snake drew out. this push for individuality features in the boss' final conversation with snake, in which she laments being swallowed up by the system and expresses hope for the future. her son had already had it ingrained into him that he is a soldier but snake's intervention pulled him away from the system that killed his grandfather, father and mother

authenticity is at the core of the relationship between big boss and ocelot. also relevant is the fact that they call each other by their real first names, rather than codenames. they drop all pretences with each other, which makes ocelot's role in mgsv all the more tragic. he is fully aware he will be unable to maintain any sort of lie about snake without drastically altering his mind so willingly destroys the entire foundation of their relationship :(

[hexameterwrench]

the familial connection is something that i know that ben talks about at some point, maybe a Q&A that i haven’t gotten to yet this relisten, and it really does feel like a heartbreaking missed opportunity for both zolf and sasha. i would’ve liked to have seen a world where they got that time to slow down, and have lots of cups of tea together, and grow and change and just live. i don’t know if sasha would’ve liked the quietness of the little inn life that zolf and wilde built for themselves, but i know she would’ve had a home there if she wanted it.

and yeah haha alex and lydia pretty subtly slip the harlequins reveal into the letter - at a couple points the founder’s name is mentioned (i can’t remember it - eva i think - and the wiki actually just lists sasha as the founder, lol), including when wilde says that the letter was passed down from her, and sasha’s letter makes an offhand comment that people refer to her by that other name as well. wilde then makes a comment about how “technically that makes her my boss,” which half of the cast also does not understand at the time, so it definitely goes by pretty quickly! i can’t remember if they actually ever address it further.

i am well into S4 of my RQG relisten, also known as the season that makes me cry every few episodes at a minimum

i always forget about the specific timing of sasha’s letter and jesus fucking christ guys take it easy on us

[evita-shelby]

The Modern Au

Placeholder title until i can come up with a better one lol

Mostly for @thegreatdragonfruta a continuation of sorts to the one shot, Business School

Gif by @crackshipandcrap

For reference pato is a nickname for people named Patricio and also teh word for duck (the creature)

“My family says we can’t have their blessing unless you meet them.”

Those were the words that had led him to surprise his fiancé with first class tickets to Mexico City. His company was doing great now that Eva was on board. With imports and exports now formally added to the family bookmaking business, Tommy could splurge for a romantic getaway for two.

“I need to warn you, the whole family will be there ---well, the ones who are still alive anyways,” Eva said after she managed to get them a private jet because her family were expecting them.

She was nervous, he was the first guy she ever brought home, Eva had admitted when her answer to his surprise had been running away to avoid throwing up on the floor.

"Your family must really love your granny." He said when she told how many people were going to her grandmother's ninetieth birthday party.

“That too.” She said and kept it at that.

Her granny was a billionaire who inherited a small shipping company and turned it into an empire by the time she retired and handed it over to her children.

Had ten children, only six remained alive. Amongst the list of dead children was Eva’s mother.

Eva had been left an orphan at sixteen and been raised by her uncle Patricio until she left Mexico. She adored her uncle and she wanted his approval because she felt like she couldn’t marry without it.

“You took off your ring.” He points out, hiding his fears of what that could mean.

Didn’t help that the salt and pepper diamond had his brothers and Polly asking why did he get his fiancé a dirty looking diamond.

Did she hate it? He had a feeling she had lied when she said it was perfect last week when he proposed.

“If the flight attendant sees it, she’ll tell the pilot who will tell my uncle that we got engaged without their permission. Tio Pato is the head of the family, if he’s not on board with us, then no one is.” She explained as she led him to the luxurious bedroom to freshen up.

Eva had convinced him that the company jet was the perfect place to ‘celebrate’ their engagement. Join the mile high club in style, she said when she had stolen the company jet.

Thomas knew Patricio ‘Pato’ Riley.

He supplied the ships for the contraband he and his brothers were moving across the Atlantic. Brilliant Cheng supplied the drugs, Alfie Solomons the illegal booze and the Shelby’s were the muscle and the key of getting it across the Atlantic. They were the key because they covered for Jack Smith and Patricio Riley.

Tommy knew there was no way in hell the Duck would let him marry Eva. Eva who has no idea that the uncle she believed so great and so upright was a drug lord.

Even worse Eva who has no idea Tommy’s past as a gangster wasn’t exactly in the past.

He’s tried to tell her, but the timing has never been right. He’s never lied to her about anything else, just this.

“We could always elope, love.” He helps himself to the fine liquors and watched his witch change out of her designer dress.

“We haven’t even left England and you are already wanting to run.” His witch teased him, turning to kiss him the second she slipped out of her dress, not bothering to change into anything else. “You’ll be wishing you had listened to me about going to Cancun before our holiday is up.”

“How bad could it be, Evie?” he is tempting fate and he knows it.

[onegirlatelier]

Guardian Lion Mittens | February, 2022

There is a time for everything…

I was intrigued by the pattern as soon as I saw it on Ravelry several years, but didn’t quite have the courage to knit it (nor spare money to spend on patterns) as it was knitted using laceweight yarns.

Back in January I was in a false state of hope and calmness, having my energy drained from a horrible period over Christmas, and I decided to cast on these mittens in time for the Chinese New Year. Only after purchasing the yarns and the pattern had I discovered that they were made using the double knitting method, which was new to me, and after several attempts in one night I had to admit that I wasn’t emotionally ready for a pair of mittens with a 128 stitch count. I shoved the project away into my yarn box, searching for another project that could either use this gorgeous pattern or these yarns.

Then shortly before the CNY, I made major life decisions and felt a hundred times better. I was motivated by Marceline (@marcelinewu) over on Instagram to keep making in the new year, and also saw Eva (@thecraftedspoon) mentioning trying double knitting. I felt ready to give it another go.

It was truly a labour of love. Even though now I’ve finished the mittens and love them, I still don’t think it is a particularly enjoyable pattern. My wrists hurt, my neck hurt, the nature of colourwork yarns meant they were not pleasant wrapped around my fingers—but luckily I’ve always been a product knitter rather than a process knitter. I kept going by envisioning the finished object and I’m so glad I stuck to it.

*About the name

I decided to call them Guardian Lion Mittens because of the stone lion portrayed. The pattern is named Foo Dog, which confused me because I could easily recognize the stylized animal as a stone lion, a traditional Chinese architectural ornament that stand (in pairs) in front of a building. I looked it up and think the Western translation might be due to the Japanese reference to them as 'lion dogs’ as they transmitted from China to Japan via Korea. The ‘Foo’ might be a transliteration of the word 佛 (Buddha) or 福 (good fortune) in Mandarin and some Chinese dialects. But to me, Guardian Lion seems the most authentic name and carries a good wish.

Pattern

Foo Dog Mittens by Svetlana Gordon

As I’ve written, it is not the easiest of patterns. It feels very typically ‘Russian’ for some reason, probably because the finished object is absolutely beautiful to look at but it is hell complicated to make.

(But if you like this type of patterns, be sure to check out the Ravelry page of this designer—she has so many wonderfully fantastical designs.)

The thumb: For the first mitten, I followed the instruction by placing 11 double stitches onto a spare yarn and casting on 11 new stitches to continue the main body. It was doable, but took me two hours to pick up stitches for the thumb because the cast-on edge (created by backwards loop method) with alternating colours for double knitting wasn’t the neatest for picking up stitches. Thus for the other mitten, I used my usual method by knitting the 11sts with a spare yarn, transferring the stitches back to the left hand needle, and continuing with the pattern. I only knitted 25 rows for the thumb.

I made two small changes to the pattern on the palm side too, just because I think it looks nicer this way.

The mittens are entirely reversible and theoretically you knit the two layers exactly to the same dimensions, which is why the outer layer ends up a little stretched and the inner layer a bit scrunched up (think about making garments—a slip barely needs any ease whilst a coat needs a lot of ease!). This is especially obvious at the decreases at the finger tips, where the colour of the inner layer (white) seeps through the outer layer (red). Now that the yarns have bloomed after blocking, it is not too much of an issue for me. However at some point I might crochet a chain between the two dec stitches on each side using the red yarn to cover up the speckles of white.

(Above: the double knitting technique allows for two sides with reverse colour combos, though the inner side is wrinkly and wouldn't lay flat because the layers relaxed differently during blocking.)

(Above three: see how obvious the laddering is on the inner side. The second picture shows the laddering on one side of the thumb solved with duplicate stitches. Fortunately, the laddering doesn't show too much on the outer side.)

Size

The pattern asked for a standard laceweight (400m/50g) and I picked a slightly heavier yarn. The pattern had only one size (18.5cm) so I was worried that my mittens were going to be very loose. Initially when I held the yarns at my normal tightness, they did create a very loose-fitting cuff. Then I actively tightened the yarns throughout the process (to the point it was difficult to slide the stitches across the needle) and this achieved the size that fits my hands snuggly. Maybe I wouldn’t have to do this if I had 1.75mm needles but the smallest I had was 2.00mm, which was what the pattern asked for.

(For reference, my palm circumference is 17.5cm.)

The mittens are also a fair bit longer than my hands, but the main body is difficult to modify because of the pattern. They are not too long, though, and still practical, so I don’t really have a problem.

Yarn

Isager Spinni

600m/100g (which can be bought in 50g cakes, but I didn’t know that when I bought them—not pleased about that!)

100% pure new wool, made at Skive Garn, Danmark and I’m assuming that it uses Scandinavian, if not Danish, wool. Non-superwash.

Colours: 0 (white) and 32s (red)

I used approx. 26g white and 30g red. The disparity might be due to the fact that the main colour for the ‘outer layer’ when knitting (I knit with the whole project in front of the needles in magic loop) requires a tiny bit more meterage. There are slight differences between the skeins too of course.

At a thicker laceweight, it doesn’t have the smoothness or fineness that I link with lace yarns. In fact, it is similar to Shetland wool and only a tiny bit less rough than Tukuwool fingering. I don’t enjoy knitting with it as much as I love silk or alpaca, but it is very sticky and good for colourwork—I didn’t catch a stitch in a dec and didn’t notice until after blocking, and it didn’t unravel at all. After blocking, it did bloom nicely and created a hearty warm fabric that was (in my opinion) quite a bit softer than Tukuwool.

It is a single ply, woolen-spun yarn, which is prone to skewing when knitted up in stockinette (Donna Eskin has a good article on this), but perhaps the tight-gauged double knitting with colourwork helps the fabric stay balanced as it is not too obvious in my finished and blocked mittens.

I’ve used Isager yarns several times and as always I think it is one of the more environmentally friendly options.

The pattern suggested Malabrigo lace, which sounds interesting as I’ve worked with it before. Whilst it was a stunning non-superwash single-ply merino lace yarn, it was soft like cotton candy and unfortunately pilled easily. I’d be very hesitant to use it for mittens as I would use merino for socks, but I do wonder if the tight gauge makes it more hardwearing.

I know that tigers and lions don’t even live in the same habitat, but I still think this is a nice project to start off the new year. Wish everyone very good fortune in the Year of the Tiger!

[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 4 (Cowboy Path)

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. Refer to this Masterlist for previous chapters and alternate paths.

Chapter 4: The Party (Cowboy Path)

Pairing: Eli x reader

Content: Drinking, some angsty pining

Length: 2.4k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The gala was as elaborate and ostentatious as you would expect of a formal event at the Imperial academy. It was like the whole ballroom shimmered as glasses of drinks were passed around and ornate dresses swished about in dance. You'd certainly never been a part of anything so grand from your home world before.

The sight made you pause as soon as you entered through the doors. It was breathtaking.

You let Thrawn guide you around the ballroom, barely registering his path as you took in all the shiny and expensive details around you. You were especially enchanted by the handful of couples circling around the dance floor, seemingly floating along with the music. You hadn't danced in so long... properly, anyway. Shimmying around your room in your underwear after a shower did not count.

"The music is quite pleasant," said Thrawn from beside you. For a moment, you forgot that part of the plan for the night was to substitute the names of your targets for other subjects, so any potential eavesdroppers would be none the wiser to your true intentions. Anything related to music was supposed to symbolize one half of the plan: Eva and Arden. But because you were so caught up in the spectacle around you, and your inner longing to genuinely engage with it all, you didn't immediately pick up on Thrawn's true meaning.

"It is," you said with just a hint of wistfulness. Your eyes happened to be watching one of the more gracefully dancing couples, the only signal to Thrawn that he needed to help you refocus.

He cleared his throat just loud enough to get your attention and then flicked his eyes toward the entrance of the ballroom meaningfully. You followed his gaze to see Eva and Arden had now arrived. Eli would be keeping an eye on them, while you and Thrawn would track Burdick. Your heart sunk as you were reminded, yet again, that you were not here for a good time. Tonight was about Thrawn's mission.

"Do you think Eli has noticed? The music?" you quickly supplied, hoping Thrawn wouldn't doubt your support.

"Yes, he seems to be enjoying it." Thrawn then looked to a different part of the room, where Eli was standing next to his date. Sadie. She was a tiny thing, with perfect proportions and well-styled hair and wearing a dress that left nothing to the imagination. You suddenly realized who she was, not having connected the dots before. She was in a few of your combat classes and had this weird habit of pumping her fist in victory every time she landed a good hit. You and Eli had made fun of her together. Why was he now going out with her?

"Yeah, he does..." you said absentmindedly as you watched your friend. Eli was making a show of casually looking around while really paying extra attention toward the couple by the entrance. But then Sadie linked her arm in his and looked up at him with a sweet smile, and he returned the gesture with a smile of his own. Your previous feelings of awe and fascination over this event were quickly turning into something much more sour.

"Did you also notice we have an assignment due soon?"

The comment from Thrawn made you blink away from the troubling scene in front of you. The Chiss had not been watching Eli, actually sticking to the plan and scanning the crowd for the other person of interest. Commander Burdick, who would be referred to by discussions of homework, another innocent topic. Thrawn had finally spotted him over by an hors d'oeuvre table.

"Thanks for the reminder," you muttered. A tray of drinks passed by, held aloft by a protocol droid, and you took the opportunity to swipe at one and down its contents in one go. You could see Thrawn eyeing you curiously from your peripheral, but you made it a point to not look back.

"Perhaps we should stand out of the way," said Thrawn, taking hold of your elbow and guiding you through the crowd and over to an area where several tall cocktail tables were set up. You set your empty glass on the surface of one of them and leaned restlessly against it. Your eyes kept wandering toward the commander as he munched furiously on some kind of cubed meat, glowering at all who passed by. Eventually you'd have to help make sure he was glowering at Arden long enough to maybe get some ideas, but right now, with the night only just beginning, there didn't seem to be much need for you to linger.

"This is a fun song. Maybe we could dance for a bit? Pass the time?" you asked, swirling your empty glass around in a bored manner.

Thrawn stared at you for a moment, most likely trying to determine if you were using the special code that you were supposed to or if you were actually talking about music and dancing.

"I think we should discuss the assignment that is due," he said, almost in a reprimanding tone. "It is rather important."

You swiped at another tray of drinks passing by, muttering over the rim of the glass, "Who goes to a party to talk about homework?"

You were being salty; you knew that. This mission was important and you cared about it. You cared about your friends and what this meant for them. But it seemed the more alcohol you took in, the more annoyed you grew toward those friends. Thrawn was such a stick in the mud, and Eli was apparently a big flirt. Was this really the best way to fix their problem? Was it really worth missing out on a fun evening?

Thrawn didn't seem too pleased as you downed your second drink in a matter of minutes. He cleared his throat in that way he did when he was about to lecture you. You cut him off before he got the chance.

"So what was that surprise you were talking about earlier?"

He blinked at you. "I never mentioned a surprise."

"Yeah. You said you didn't disappear, you were working on something, and that I'd see soon enough. Well? What should I be seeing?"

He reached across the table and gingerly took your empty glass from you with a frown. "You hadn't noticed? There is only one assignment."

It was your turn to blink at him. He sighed and jerked his head to where Burdick was still standing.

"I made sure his date would be delayed in arriving," he said very quietly; you almost couldn't hear him above the din of the party. "So he wouldn't be distracted."

You looked over at the Commander, not very subtle in your observation of him, so it was no surprise the man noticed your staring and frowned even more deeply.

The sound of your name caused you to snap back to Thrawn, who was circling the table to lean in closer. He seemed upset; or, as upset as Thrawn could ever seem through his calmness.

"If you have other things you wish to be doing, I would much rather you leave for them, instead of staying and causing problems." His voice was low in your ear. You sighed at his words, feeling bad for how you'd been behaving.

Just a little bit.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite student," came the voice of Commander Burdick. The man had apparently decided to come over after discovering you'd been staring at him, however, he was very clearly addressing Thrawn and not you. "I'm surprised you'd even come to an event like this."

"The Academy has provided a generous occasion tonight," Thrawn slipped out of his scolding of you and into his usual demeanor without missing a beat. "It would have been in bad taste for us to not attend."

Though it had been your staring that'd called him over, it was only when Thrawn referred to you collectively that Burdick finally acknowledged you. He gave a grunt as a sort of laugh.

"What about that scruffy little friend of yours? He doesn't care about taste?"

"Eli's here..." you heard yourself saying. You also felt Thrawn tensing beside you. You tried to give him a reassuring look as you turned to point out your friend behind you, moving about on the dance floor with Sadie. And just beside them was Eva and Arden, as you knew they would be. The two couples seemed to be trying to one-up each other with their dance moves. You quickly turned away so you wouldn't have to register how exciting and intimate it all was.

"So I see," Burdick hummed. You couldn't tell if he still had the same frown from before, or if it was a new one in response to seeing his ex with a student. "You're not a dancer, Thrawn?"

"Only when the mood strikes, sir."

"Well if you don't show your woman a good time, someone else will." Burdick took a step forward and held out a hand toward you. Your eyes grew wide, panicking. That was certainly unexpected.

Thrawn quickly, and smoothly, jumped to your defense.

"Sir, I'm afraid she is not feeling well. I have simply been keeping her company."

Burdick looked between the two of you, and then briefly beyond at the dance floor, before giving an odd smirk and retreating.

"Very well. Enjoy your... company."

The Commander turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd. As you watched the back of his head, you couldn't help but wish you hadn't frozen and had accept his offer to dance. It was probably going to be the only offer you got all night.

"What... were... you... thinking..."

You looked over at Thrawn, surprised he was still upset. He was pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his eyes.

"Huh? I made sure he noticed Eva," you defended yourself. "He asked me to dance, probably to make her jealous, but since that's not happening, he'll be able to focus his revenge on Arden now."

"That is quite the assumption, based on absolutely no evidence."

"There is too evidence--"

"And apparently we've abandoned all secrecy and discretion, too. Might as well announce what we're planning to the whole ballroom while we're at it."

Thrawn's piercing eyes looked down on you, looking more like fire than they ever did. You bowed your head for a few seconds, needing to escape the heat and cool down.

"I'm sorry," you said, finally looking back at him. "I didn't mean to... mess up on the homework."

You offered what you hoped was an endearing smile. Thrawn only left you hanging for a second before he relaxed just a little.

"You did not mess up," he stated, returning to his side of the table and finally taking up the drink still left sitting there. "But perhaps you should just observe for the rest of the night."

And observe you did. The rest of the evening seemed to both pass by in a shimmering blur, and crawl forward at an unbearable pace. You observed couples dancing, laughing, even kissing. You observed how the energy of the ballroom shifted from eager liveliness to unhurried intimacy as time drew on. You observed the hors d'oeuvres dwindle and the champagne lose its bubbles and the lights dim ever-so-subtly.

Occasionally you actually observed the "homework," whenever he happened to pop out from the crowd. Thrawn did most of the note-taking, pointing out under muttered breath how the commander was still fixating on his ex, how his frown seemed to change from grumpiness and anger to determination and craftiness. Whatever that meant. You couldn't ever pretend to notice half the signs Thrawn did.

But most importantly, you observed a certain shaggy-haired boy from Wild Space.....

The way he danced, somewhat stiffly, but not as clumsy or awkward as one might expect from someone who couldn't figure out a tie.

The way he seemed to so effortlessly keep an eye on his despised classmate while still paying attention to his date and all her friends.

The way he casually hung out with her friends in between dances, as if he'd always been a part of their group.

The way he held her.

The way he looked at her.

At some point, you'd finished off your fifth glass of champagne, and you were definitely feeling the effects of it. That was what you were feeling, you told yourself. Your stomach was in knots and your brow was feeling warm and your heart was beating in your ears, all because of the alcohol. It didn't have anything to do with your guilt from upsetting Thrawn earlier, or the fact that even though Eli had nodded your way a few times in acknowledgement, he hadn't once come over to make good on his promise to save a dance for you. Nope. It was the alcohol and nothing else.

"Thrawn," you said quietly, breaking the Chiss's concentration on something-or-other across the way. "Do you mind if I call it a night? I'm pretty tired."

His eyes flickered over at the amount of empty glasses you had collected beside you, but he didn't comment on it. Only nodded in understanding and returned back to his mission.

You sighed as you picked your way through the crowd that remained. Quite a few students and teachers had already left for the night, but plenty still remained, and it baffled you just how many were hoping - and fighting - to earn to a place in the Empire.

And then something caught your eye just as you made to push through the doors and out into the night. One last thing to observe.

Eli and Sadie were swaying to the slow song playing, just off the actual dance floor. It was like they were in their own world. Her hands rested against his chest, and his chin laid atop her head, and they turned in slow circles as they rocked back and forth, holding each other close. When Eli's face finally turned toward your view, you swore your insides were threatening to crawl up your throat and spill out all over the shiny floor.

His face was relaxed, content. His lips were turned upward in a pleased sort of smile you'd only seen a few times on him before, usually after he'd told you a nice childhood memory, or after he finished a hearty meal. This wasn't an act; this had nothing to do with the mission or your purpose here at this dance. He was happy, holding her.

Just as his eyes wandered from whatever peaceful place they'd been resting and locked onto yours, you finally pushed through the door and left.

[elliewritessometimes]

hello! me n @mattieswheelers wrote another fic!! tiff is the most incredible writing partner and i- i just love them???? thanky so much for writing with me you are a stunning writer aaaa (y'all there will be a second chapter stay tuned fdhhddh aLSO we are posting this on ao3 it will be there at some point)

in other news: this was originally a request!! @notsomightymightytiger it may have taken me uh- a good couple of months but here is your fic!!!

for reference, these numbers apply to these tropes: first kiss/flowers of romance/blind date

LOVE YOU KIERA AND TIFF AAAAA HOPE YOU LIKE

tw: swearing, alcohol and drunkenness but not in an angsty farrah way just in a silly oops first date way, as per usual if there's anything at all you want me to tag let me know :D

---

Eva thought she was doing perfectly fine without a romantic partner. Her life was normal, one filled with work and friends and scrolling through Pinterest.

Apparently, in the eyes of her best friend, this was not a normal life. Farrah had always been a bit extra, that one kid in highschool who always seemed to know where the best parties were, or who was known by name to the baristas at the local Starbucks, and by the ripe old age of 22, she believed that a romantic partner was crucial to living a fulfilling life.

Or, at least, that you should at least try romance once before becoming a hermit in the woods, especially if your name was Eva Sanchez.

(“Look, normally I wouldn’t be like this,” Farrah drawled, leaning against a counter, “But deep inside  you are nothing but a useless gay at heart-”

Her phone buzzed.

“-and you haven’t dated anyone, like, ever, and if I have to be the only one constantly dragging you out to social gatherings, I’m going to die early. So do me a solid, will you?”

“Hey-!”)

Eva did not agree.

But, she was a loyal friend, and that was how she found herself sitting in an overly posh restaurant on some random blind date with some random person that she’d never even seen before. It would be an understatement to say she was a little bit nervous, but then again, whenever Farrah was involved, that was normal.

***********: hi sorry i got your number from the blind date place thing but uh are you the person at the table in the corner

***********: ???denim jacket ?? pride pin??

Eva smiled, glancing up at the door. There was another person looking a little lost in the entrance, very obviously trying not to draw attention to themselves, their phone held close to their face as they squinted around at the restaurant. They were pretty, dark hair pulled up into a loose ponytail, obviously not dressed for a restaurant as upper class as this one. Eva liked them immediately. Raising a hand, she waved in their direction, laughing as her date gasped dramatically, hurrying over and nearly overturning a tray of drinks on their way.

“Hello.”

“Look-” Eva’s date slumped in the seat opposite, one hand awkwardly held behind their back. “I dunno about you, but I certainly did not willingly sign up for this. You see, my friend wanted me to apparently live a more interesting life and stop relying on Tumblr as my only source of interaction with anyone, and my friend is very persuasive, so here I am.”

Eva raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, so I wanted to get that out of the way before we even introduce ourselves. I am here out of spite only, so, uh, I hope you’re not too desperate.” They paused, finally taking a breath. “Right. The more I think about this, the more embarrassed I get.”

“It’s okay.” Eva gave a noise which sounded suspiciously like a snort. “Let’s not think about it then. I’m Eva. She/her. It’s nice to meet you, unwilling datemate.”

They grinned. “Kate. She/they.” She gasped a little like she’d forgotten something. “Oh! I brought flowers. Chess said it would be romantic.”

Eva accepted the offered flowers with a blush. This date was going better than expected. Farrah was going to lose her shit when she heard about it. “Wait- You have a friend called Chess?? Like, the game???”

Kate rolled their eyes, casually snatching a bright pink cocktail off a passing waiter’s tray. “Duh. You didn’t really see me walk in this fucking posh ass restaurant in my flannel and converse and think I’d be normal, right?”

Eva laughed then, properly. It had only been a few short, chaotic minutes, but she was already warming to this mystery person and, God, they had good taste in flowers. Even if Eva’s nerd hermit brain did helpfully choose that moment to remind her that this particular bunch of flowers presented a meaning that translated almost exactly to ‘fuck you’. She wondered if Kate was aware of that. However, perhaps that was a fun fact for the second date.

-

“Hey, Eva?” Kate was slightly tipsy. Only a little bit! Really not that bad. Not at all. Definitely not too drunk for a first date. Shut up. “Hey! You’re- so cool.”

Eva giggled - she was equally as drunk, but not quite so intoxicated as to stop wondering why the restaurant hadn’t thrown them out yet. “Noooooo. ‘m a nerd.”

“Yeah, but a cool nerd.” Kate twirled the decorative candle between her fingers, drawing stares from disapproving patrons. The flame reflected in Eva’s glasses, making her just a little bit more smitten by the second. They enclosed their hand around the candle holder as best they could, standing up just a little shakily. “Eva-” It was like they got a rush from just saying her name. Eva thought it was endearing. “Hey- we- we should go…”

“Why?” She narrowed her eyes, also standing up, her long-discarded denim jacket slung over one arm, the other naturally slipping to link arms with Kate.

“....Arson.” Kate sounded entirely serious, still twizzling the candle in one hand. Eva blinked dumbly at her, mouth slightly open. They pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Eva’s mouth, giggling uncharacteristically at the motion. “I’m jokingggg! Don’t look so shook, my dude.”

Eva stuttered a little, letting Kate pull her finally out of the restaurant, marvelling at the fact she’d only known this incredible, crazy person for a matter of hours. Who knew where tonight would take them?

-

They found themselves in a park, gazing up at the stars, now dim in the reflections of the city lights. Kate’s phone flashed 11:46 in the dark, the lock screen filled with notifications from a contact who’s name consisted only of a chess piece.

Eva lay down on the grass, spreading her arms out towards the stars. “Do you ever think about life?”

“Sure. All the time. I’m alive, and so are you, and I think you’re really pretty. Does that count?” Kate flopped down beside her.

“I- I mean, yeah- um,” Eva tried not to sound flustered, thankful for the darkness that hid the color rising in her cheeks. “But like, life. Scientifically. Relatively.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, I totally do. Um. Do I?”

Eva laughed, turning her head slightly to gaze at Kate. Under the light of the stars, they looked… ethereal. And really, really, really beautiful. And-

Eva coughed slightly, turning back towards the night sky. “Just… think about it. I’m lying here beside you, on a giant marble that hurtles through space. Relatively speaking, our orbit and path are unique, and all around us, the other planets are… swirling in harmony, and we’re just. We’re just here to see it.”

Kate hummed. “You sound like those philosophical people, all ‘if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, did it really fall?’ and ‘relatively speaking I am relatively here, and I’m relatively certain… blah blah blah.’”

“Huh. Do I?” Eva shrugged, putting her hands behind her head. “I dunno. I’m drunk. I think. Oh, no, I’m relatively drunk, ha ha- okay no, I’m just drunk.”

“You are,” Kate nodded wisely. “We both are.”

“Do you know what Albert Einstein said once?” Eva asked abruptly, closing her eyes. “He said, ‘When you’re courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder, a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.’ And if that isn’t the most relatable thing he’s ever said, then, well- okay yeah I’ve lost my train of thought.”

“Wow,” said Kate. “Did Albert Einstein court lots of nice girls?”

“Pfft.” Eva rolled onto her side, laughing openly in Kate’s face. “Sure. Why not.”

They rolled to face Eva, curling up into a ball, softer than the 22-year-old had seen her all evening. “Not as nice as the one I’m courting right now.”

“Even though neither of us really wanted to be here earlier?”

“Yeah. Y’know, I’m fucking glad our best friends basically set us up. It’s very pog of them.”

“You did not just say ‘pog’. You did not.” Eva groaned into the slightly damp, slightly disgusting grass, listening to Kate cackle next to her.

“Shit, dude, my secret’s out. I’m just as much of a nerd as you.” She leant their head on Eva’s outstretched arm, burrowing into her side.

Eva paused then, draping her other arm around Kate, thinking quietly. It was stupid, really, that they were cuddling in the openness of a park at almost midnight. Dangerous, definitely, especially when you took in the candle still flickering far too close to Kate’s now loose hair. Some more sensible people, maybe Farrah’s sister, would say that it was stupid how close they’d grown in so few hours. But Kate and Eva weren’t sensible people, not really, and maybe this was completely normal for them. Nerds lived life differently. “We’re not like other girls… we’re nerds.”

Kate barked out a laugh again, pressing yet another small kiss to the top of Eva’s head.

Eva thought she might melt into a puddle right then and there.

God, she was so in love.

Kate looked up at the sky. “Y’know, for all your philosophical talk, you should be an inspirational speaker. Be on goddamn TedTalks or something, blow the crowd away with all that ‘the future’s in the palm of my hand!!’ bullshit.”

“Well,” Eva said, trying to sound completely sober (and failing), “I think all I could ever want is in the palm of my hand, right now.”

Kate paused for a moment, registering the fact that Eva had just cupped her hands around their face. “Wow. That was smooth.”

“Right?? I’m honestly impressed and I was the one who said it. Wait, is that hubris? Oh shoot, am I developing an ego? Or maybe I’m just drunk?” Eva’s head was seriously starting to hurt.

“You deserve an ego,” Kate nodded sagely. “You are so amazing. Seriously. You should have an ego. Dab on the haters and all that jazz, right? Right.”

Eva giggled, unable to take her eyes away from Kate’s. “What the shit?”

“Dude! Dab on the haters. ‘m fuckin’ right, and you know I am.”

“Mkay.”

“Lit.” Kate dragged her gaze from Eva’s, instead staring up at the stars. “If we weren’t drunk right now, I’d be kissing the hell out of you.”

Eva pouted. Apparently Drunk-Eva was limited to the facial expressions of a twelve year old. “Who’s to say you can’t kiss me now.”

“We’re drunk, Eva.” They waved their hands, casually flipping off the moon. “Consent.”

“If you think about drunk...ness. Drunkenness? Drunkness. Whatever.” She coughed. “If you think about it like maths, then because we’re both drunk, it cancels out, right? Like, drunk you minus drunk me equals zero drunks overall, yeah?” Pausing, she ran a hand over her face, watching Kate smirk and wriggle closer out of the corner of her eye. “What I’m saying is, yes, I give you permission to kiss me-” Kate leaned closer and Eva laid a gentle finger on their lips. “But only if I get to kiss you back.”

The two met in the middle, naturally coming together. Some might describe them as magnets, two poles attracted, unable to stay away from each other. Others might say soulmates, meant to find each other from birth. Or, just maybe, stars, gravitationally pulled together, ready to explode into another plane of existence, one so different from our reality that we can’t even begin to imagine the wonders that they’ll find.

However, this is reality, and somehow Kate and Eva are still grounded on our Earth, stars maybe, but ones made of ancient stardust no longer free to travel the universe. They found themselves pulling apart after two worlds collided, an unknown period of time passing as it happened. Eva’s fingers didn’t untangle themselves from their comfortable seat amongst Kate’s hair, the closeness making their noses brush, spouting giggles from both young adults.

“Well, that was fun.” Kate brushed hair out of Eva’s face, one arm still wrapped tight around her waist, pulling her closer as she shivered in the night air.

“Yeah?” Eva pressed her forehead to theirs. “Why don’t we try it again, huh?”

---

“I told you so,” Farrah smirked, picking at a freshly baked blueberry muffin. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Eva huffed, failing to come up with an argument.

Over by the kitchen counter, Mattie snorted. “I find it kinda funny that the single girl insists that love is the answer to anything.”

“Well- it’s not like I’ve never dated!”

“Suuuuure,” Mattie rolled her eyes, hopping off the counter and snatching a muffin. “Anyways, at least Eva has a significant other now. That’s the biggest victory, right? Other than the celebratory muffins, of course.”

Eva sighed. “Is it really that big of a deal that Farrah’s plan worked?”

“Yep!” Farrah grinned, taking a bite of muffin.

“Technically, my plan, but okay,” Mattie shrugged.

Eva almost dropped her muffin. “What.”

Mattie grinned, a devilish glint appearing in her eye. “Believe it or not, I am also friends with none other than the amazing Chess, and since her friend Kate- who is also my friend, by the way- was being a mopey mess around the same time as you, I just had to take it upon myself to play matchmaker! So I’d like at least 50% of the credit and reward, please and thank you.”

“I- what-” Eva sputtered, trying to come to terms with the new information. “Mattie- you- oh my God.”

“Oh my God indeed,” Mattie bit into her muffin and swallowed. “So anyways, you’re welcome for getting you a girlfriend.”

Eva stared at the younger girl, mouth slightly open and muffin hanging loosely in her hand. Farrah clapped a hand over her mouth as she wheezed through a mess of sugar and blueberries, earning herself a death stare from Eva. Phone in one hand, Mattie continued eating her muffin as though nothing had happened, the teasing look on her face only exaggerating as her phone pinged with a message. “Oh! Speaking of, Chess is outside-”

She was cut off as the door burst open, the handle crashing into Eva’s bookcase, knocking her alarm clock to the ground and presenting two dishevelled figures in the doorway. One of them, a tall student probably in their last year of uni, puffed out a breath, a hand tightly clinging to a much shorter student squirming angrily. “Before you say anything, I tried to prevent any of this happening. Wheeler, I’m blaming you entirely for this.”

Mattie only laughed, offering Chess a muffin with her free hand, “Dude, it was totally your idea.”

Eva tried very hard not to stare as Kate finally freed herself from Chess’ grasp with an indignant yelp. “Fuck off! Eva, babe, sweetheart, love of my life, tell me you didn’t fucking know about this beforehand or I will break up with you.”

“No! God, no! You know I didn’t want to be there just as much as you did.” She rested her head gently on top of Kate’s, arms draped over their shoulders. “Believe you me, I’ve also been sorely betrayed today.”

Farrah gagged across the kitchen. “Ew. We should never have set you two up.”

“Bitch.” Eva grinned affectionately at her best friend, batting Kate’s hand down as they sent a middle finger in Farrah’s direction. Conversations carried on for a while, Chess finally being introduced to Farrah, with a muffin being forcefully placed into her hand. Kate whispered to Eva for a second before going out to take a call. Eva smiled knowingly, leaning on the counter to address Mattie, “So…”

Mattie made a face as Eva raised an eyebrow in her direction. “What are you thinking, Sanchez, I don’t like that face.”

“I don’t know…” She feigned thinking, sticking her tongue out as Kate re-entered the room. “Maybe, a little thank-you gift?? Y’know, me and Kate were thinking just now… Seeing as you set us up so nicely, how about you try a blind date yourself?”

Chess and Farrah stifled a laugh in unison, choking a little on their muffins as Mattie’s eyes got wider in horror. “You didn’t.”

Kate smiled sweetly. “Yup! Tonight, seven thirty. It’s payback time, kid.”

“I hate you.”

[beetlews]

DOFP Magneto Cosplay Tutorial

 I’ll try and make this as comprehensive as possible but bare with me;

This certain costume Magneto sports isn’t the hardest out there to make, but there is a lot of complicated pieces such as the cape or the armor. So lets just get into this;

The maroon undershirt that is under the armor and cape isn’t very complicated. It’s an almost skintight turtleneck that is stretchy, almost knit spandex fabric. But I want to keep that initial knit look to it, so the best way to find the right color of fabric you’d want you’d probably have to dye either a white or a red a burgundy/maroon color. The undershirt-turtleneck is more purple than the cape, but not too purple so maybe something like a maroon dye would work best.  There isn’t much to this piece, but just to hem the edges and make the neck of it fit correctly. Compared to the leather turtleneck that is also a part of the costume; I’d say make the maroon neck just a few cementers taller than the leather one, maybe 2-3 cm’s  so it shows from underneath it. (more info below)

Now moving onto the vest/armor pieces. The vest is what you attach the armor pieces to, as well as the leather turtleneck. The leather for the turtleneck, I’d suggest getting the closest thing to leather, faux leather. But sense it’s in a very visible spot, and considering if you want to go for accuracy, I’d look around for leather/faux to re-purpose. If you don’t mind that much, a cheaper faux leather would do. But there is elements of the cosplay that have both shiny and non-shiny leather. So I’d suggest getting the closest thing you can to a non-shiny pleather. 

 For the rest of the vest, it’s hard to describe the fabric. Either a thicker canvasy material where you can see the grooves in it, and to make sure it’s sturdy enough to hope the armor in place with minimal movement. Or the other option I’d almost describe it as that one pores fabric that could be on a backpack or a cheap ballistic fabric??(I’m still trying to figure it out so you may have to do some research on your own)

Making the vest fit as well as possible, I’d suggest making a duct-tape dummy so you can make sure it fits you well and your armor doesn’t clash or bend too far. Speaking of armor, The vest is going to be on the tighter side, and depending on the fabric, won’t have much stretch to it so add a zipper in the back. Also so the armor pieces don’t get damaged while slipping the vest on and off. The bottom of the vest is also a strange thing, It sort of has a curve to it as it goes around the body. There are also some stiffer armor pieces on the bottom of it, so look at some reference pictures for that.

There are many ways you could potentially attack the armor to the vest:

Velcro (I’ll probably pick this option when its time for me to make mine)

Magnets (very fitting because Magneto har har, but you’ll need strong magnets so your chest plate doesn’t pop off while you bend over)

Snaps 

Now the armor pieces in general. There are 11-12 pieces in total to make on the chest. But most of these are also not just 2-d but 3-d. They have curve and layers to them, so I’d work with 2-3 layers depending on the piece. On the main chest piece. (more below)

The lighter gray lines are just to show depth and where the armor sloped down. I’d also take the time to look at reference pictures to get it right. As you can also see by the blue lines, there is leather showing from under some pieces. Id just loop the fabric around on the edge so it shows from the front, but I feel like that part isn’t essential. The dots are just small bolt-like circles, you could either use foam to make small circles or use painted googly-eyes to make a more dome-like shape.

The materials you’ll need for making the armor are:

(I use) 5mm EVA cosplay foam

Plasti Dip, It can be used as a primer and fills in any small pores/inconsistencies in the foam

(This is optional but if your prone to mistakes) Acrylic Gesso

DAP contact cement for gluing (Note that is doesn’t hold up to high stress bonds)

(Also optional but will definitely help very much) Heat Gun, foam can be shaped and hardened with it, it’s way better than having a bunch of glue seams in foam

Spray paints and clear sealant

Your preferred method of attaching to armor to the vest (I’ll be using Velcro for my examples) 

(Optional) Black felt to line the back of the armor to keep make sure the glue doesn’t come undone somehow #precautions

Using a heat gun is much better than anything I’ve ever done with just gluing seams. It could definitely be used to make more form fitting chest pieces for this cosplay.

Attaching the armor to the vest, sew one side of the Velcro to the corresponding spots on the vest. Then the other side of the Velcro, sew it to the felt, then glue the felt to the armor pieces. It should be sturdy enough just in case there are some things that break. And don’t be afraid to use a lot of Velcro to ensure that they don’t come off. (more below)

Now for those gloves!!!

I wanted to have a couple tricks/ small performances  I could do as Magneto so it’s time to break out the magnets. Minus the electromagnetic wiring and complicated things-

I purchased a donut magnet that was roughly the size of my palm. And it’s very important its a donut magnet because you would need to attach to to you hand, not just the glove. If the magnet was attached to the glove, it would pull and eventually break the seams or worse, rip the whole palm of the glove. So instead, just wrap a wire through the hole and around your hand a couple times to make sure it’s secure. I’d recommend getting the strongest magnet you can, fabric interfering with the magnet and what it’s trying to attach will only make it weaker. This part is mainly optional, but it’s something to consider.

This is where the shiny faux-leather comes in. The whole of the gloves are made of it. Trace your hand on a piece of paper, going up to about mid forearm. After that, cut out on the shiny leather both a from and a back for both hands. Make just to leave enough seam allowance so you can easily get in and out of the gloves. As you can see in the picture above, it has layers to it so take time to figure out a loose, layered look that you like. Also to the gloves, there are 2 Velcro wraps that wrap around the arm and tighten the glove on. Both of those are hemed as well as the bottom of the glove. It doesn’t need to look exactly perfect, just maybe about an inch or 1/2 of hemed edge at the bottom of the glove. 

BTW if you do include the magnet in the hand, I’d suggest making it only one hand because both hands may cause some problems. Like holding your phone, looking at merch, or even just accidentally picking up things you don’t want to. Even just getting stuck to doors or other metal things are something to consider.

Now for those pants, personally I’m just going to diy a pair of pants for this cosplay. I applaud you if you do decided to sew your own. But to make this easier for myself I’m going to buy, tailor, and work on a pre-made pair of pants. Like the picture says:

Baggy pants, but not too baggy on the lets, just enough looseness. In the reference pictures they also look a little thick, like a dressy/ tougher material. On the sides of the pants, there is a weird striped pattern(but thats just most marvel character outfits at this point). You can cut out the pattern and sew it back in so it looks like how it does in DOFP, or you can just grab some puffy pain and draw the pattern on there. That’s what I’m going to do. 

NOW FOR THAT DAMN HELMET!!!

I have the basic instructions already on the picture, but I’ll go more in depth.

Patterning your head; it may sound strange. Basically what you will need to make a accurate shaped helmet to your head you’ll need a couple of things. Plastic wrap, duct-tape, and a marker. You wrap your head with the plastic wrap, make sure you don’t suffocate yourself. Then you use the tape to build up where you want the helmet shape to be. Following how it looks in the picture, plus a pic of Erik w/ it on, mark out roughly where you want the shapes to be. It may take a could of tries, a couple layer of tape, but eventually you’ll get something that is a 2-d version of the helmet. I usually only do one side of my head, then reflecting the pattern back over when it comes to cutting the pieces out. Just be careful you don’t go past the middle because that will cause problems when constructing it.  Using the marker, also draw out where the features are, like the weird ass horseshoe thing on his forehead.

Cut out the patterned pieces. This includes the tape pieces and the foam pieces. I’d watch a couple YouTube tutorials on this if your completely unsure. While cutting the helmet pieces up, it won’t stay in one piece. I’d suggest making a seam down the middle of the head where you flip your pattern over to. I can’t tell you much besides; try making a draft with kids foam first to make sure it looks correct. Also what can happen while cutting the foam shapes out, try to keep your scissors as straight as you can and not at an angle.

Using glue to rough up the helmet. Besides the obvious glue together the helmet and use the heat gun; the texture of this helmet is one of the roughest ones so you don’t need to be super careful with the gluing. You could also use some acrylic gesso to give it a rougher look. Also you can use the gesso to fill in some of the seams that are on the rougher side.

Paint. Then paint your helm! Not much to it besides; Plasti Dip, spray paint, acrylic paint details, seal with clear spray.

WARNING THAT IM NOT SURE ABOUT THIS PART STILL, IT WILL TAKE SOME EXPERIMENTING WITH TO GET RIGHT!!!!!

So with the cape, this is what I have figured out so far.

The top of the cape is like a wrap-around situation on the neck. It’s a stripe of a thicker burgundy fabric, It has a thicker look to it but make sure the cape won’t be too heavy. Because even a double-layered cape made from a cotton blend definitely has some weight to it. So the cape will be heavy, that’s just a fact you need to accept. In the pic is the shape of the cape that Magneto wears. The shortest part of the cape falls roughly under the crotch. And the longest part is falls roughly mid shin to foot. The cape is also wider than it looks, it drapes down.

The cape has 2 layers to it. On the outside layer, the one that’s facing outwards, is a burgundy. The inner layer is a black non-shiny faux-leather. The sides of the cape are sewn together on the edges, but not the bottom. For some reason on the bottom of the cape, it’s not sewn together, just both pieces hemed. 

On the top of the cape, there is a bit where it drapes down onto the shoulders and off to drape. 

Thank you for your interest about this :)) If you have any questions, or if I was too vague about something, go ahead and ask.

Also here’s my Youtube-

 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6Th4OO7dRZs4hDL7c79fyA/about  

[msclaritea]

By Elizabeth Carolyn Miller

The Perils of Public Visibility

Conan Doyle’s resistance to visually identifying the female criminal sometimes appears, nonetheless, as a denial of women’s public subjectivity, a refusal to grant women full citizenry by refusing to grant them full criminality. The anonymous female avenger in “Charles Augustus Milverton” perfectly exemplifies this tendency in the series. Despite the violence of the murder she enacts, Holmes keeps her publicly invisible by chivalrously covering up her deed; her name remains a secret even to readers of the story. This is not the only case where Holmes opts not to pursue legal redress after discovering a crime, but it is the most obviously illegal instance, since he actually witnesses the murder. On the night in question, Holmes and Watson break into the home of Milverton, a blackmailer, to secure some letters written by Holmes’s client, Lady Eva. While searching his study, they inadvertently witness Milverton’s meeting with a lady’s maid who has offered to sell him her mistress’s letters. Page  63

"You couldn't come any other time—eh?"

Fig. 14. From “Charles Augustus Milverton”

Page  64

The maid turns out to be a former victim in disguise. Milverton previously exposed her secret letters to her husband, who died from the shock, and she has returned to enact revenge.

In describing the interplay between Holmes, Milverton, and the avenger, Conan Doyle orchestrates a complicated interplay of the visible and the invisible. An illustration of the avenger shows her thickly veiled—utterly obscured by the accoutrement of feminine propriety (figure 14). Secreted behind a curtain, Holmes and Watson witness her visual revelation: “The woman without a word had raised her veil and dropped the mantle from her chin. It was a dark, handsome, clear-cut face which confronted Milverton, a face with a curved nose, strong, dark eyebrows, shading hard, glittering eyes, and a straight, thin-lipped mouth set in a dangerous smile” (171). While suggesting formidability, this description counters the visual criminal theory of criminologists like Lombroso, who claimed female criminals have racialized or masculine features such as a heavy jaw (102). The avenger speaks:

“It is I … the woman whose life you have ruined. … you sent the letters to my husband, and he—the noblest gentleman that ever lived, a man whose boots I was never worthy to lace—he broke his gallant heart and died. … You will ruin no more lives as you ruined mine. You will wring no more hearts as you wrung mine. I will free the world of a poisonous thing. Take that, you hound, and that!—and that!—and that!—and that!”

She had drawn a little gleaming revolver, and emptied barrel after barrel into Milverton’s body, the muzzle within two feet of his shirt front. … Then he staggered to his feet, received another shot, and rolled upon the floor. “You’ve done me,” he cried, and lay still. The woman looked at him intently and ground her heel into his upturned face. She looked again, but there was no sound or movement. I heard a sharp rustle, the night air blew into the heated room, and the avenger was gone. (171–72)

This passage depicts one of the most violent murders committed by a woman in turn-of-the-century fiction, and its graphic illustration brought that violence home to readers (figure 15). Despite the woman’s ferocity, however, Conan Doyle takes pains to rationalize—even defend—her act. Her invocation of her husband and her insistence on her own humility position her squarely in the tradition of self-renunciatory Victorian wifeliness. The scandalous letters do not challenge this characterization:Page  65

"Then he staggered to his feet and recieved another shot."

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we know from Lady Eva’s case that most of the letters in which Milverton traffics were written when the women were young and unmarried, and Holmes describes Lady Eva’s letters as “imprudent, Watson, nothing worse” (159). Watson’s reference to Milverton’s killer as an “avenger” also serves to justify her act, as does her seemingly selfless invocation of Milverton’s future victims.

Holmes and Watson choose not to expose the avenger. When Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard tries to enlist Holmes’s help in solving the case, obviously unaware that he witnessed the murder, Holmes replies, “there are certain crimes which the law cannot touch, and which therefore, to some extent, justify private revenge. … My sympathies are with the criminals rather than with the victim, and I will not handle this case” (174). Even in the moment of watching the woman unload her pistol into Milverton’s breast, while Watson reacts, Holmes holds him back:

No interference upon our part could have saved the man from his fate; but as the woman poured bullet after bullet into Milverton’s shrinking body, I was about to spring out, when I felt Holmes’s cold, strong grasp upon my wrist. I understood the whole argument of that firm, restraining grip—that it was no affair of ours; that justice had overtaken a villain. … But hardly had the woman rushed from the room when Holmes, with swift, silent steps, was over at the other door. He turned the key in the lock. At the same instant we heard voices in the house and the sound of hurrying feet. The revolver shots had roused the household. With perfect coolness Holmes slipped across to the safe, filled his two arms with bundles of letters, and poured them all into the fire. Again and again he did it, until the safe was empty. Someone turned the handle and beat upon the outside of the door. … “This way, Watson,” said he; “we can scale the garden wall in this direction.” (172–73)

Holmes not only keeps quiet about the murder, but seizes the opportunity to actively cover it up and destroy all of the compromising letters in Milverton’s safe. Committed in cold blood, with premeditation, this crime would presumably be quite disturbing to contemporary readers: a woman shooting a man with a phallic gun in his own study is a perfect example of the kind of invading and destructive threat that characterized many representations of first-wave feminism.[34] In covering the woman’s act, however, Holmes ensures that the avenger will remain outside of the public forums of the newspaper, courts, and legal system. Indeed, the female avenger remains anonymous even on a metafictional level, for Watson refuses to reveal her name even to the “public” readership of the story.

Conan Doyle’s discomfort with women in public cannot alone account for his shocking and remarkable female avenger, however; it does not explain why he makes her at once so appalling and so appealing. He takes a potentially threatening woman and normalizes her by providing justification for her act and presenting her as a loyal and loving wife; but he goes on to present her, like Irene Adler, as an object of public desire, idolization, and glamorization. At the end of the story, gazing into “a shop window filled with photographs of the celebrities and beauties of the day,” Holmes recognizes what we might call the “mug shot” for the anonymous avenger:

Holmes’s eyes fixed themselves upon one of [the photographs], and following his gaze I saw the picture of a regal and stately lady in Court dress, with a high diamond tiara upon her noble head. I looked at that delicately curved nose, at the marked eyebrows, at the straight mouth, and the strong little chin beneath it. Then I caught my breath as I read the time-honoured title of the great nobleman and statesman whose wife she had been. My eyes met those of Holmes, and he put his finger to his lips as we turned away from the window. (174–75)

Shop window photography promoting “celebrities and beauties of the day” was part of the new visual landscape of Victorian consumerism. Just as magazine illustrations and newly visual textual formats transformed the medium in which readers encountered crime fiction and other narratives, the display of famous women’s photographs as a means of selling products helped shift public culture toward the visual, consumerist, and feminine. Here, Conan Doyle portrays one such woman—displayed in all her aristocratic splendor to encourage others’ consumption—as a murderer, a sharp distinction from what she appears to signify on a visual, imagistic level. The Holmes series on the whole presents criminality and truth as visually ascertainable categories, but when depicting female criminality, it suggests that the orchestration and framing of an image determines its meaning. Here, the murderer’s photograph is a marketing tool, not a revelation of essential identity. Rather than a low brow, sensuous lips, or a misshapen ear, she has a tiara. The photograph represents the avenger’s invulnerability: she gets away with murder in part because of her social standing, but more obviouslyPage  68

"Following his gaze I saw the picture of a regal and stately lady in court dress."

Page  69

because of her image. Conan Doyle’s depiction of the avenger encapsulates the entire series’ ambivalence about the female criminal, who represents a newly roused feminist power, the failures of patriarchy, and the consumerist appeal of feminine disobedience. The anonymous avenger is not a figure of criminal degeneracy, but of glamour and beauty; she is appealing rather than repulsive to readers. As the illustration accompanying this scene shows, she is literally a representation for the public to admire (figure 16). Thus, while Conan Doyle’s stories do commodify feminine victimization, their commodification of feminine violence and criminality is even more significant. At a historical moment when a faction of the suffrage campaign was becoming ever more violent in its acts of civil disobedience, Conan Doyle’s 1904 story banks on the allure of feminine disobedience for readers. The avenger puts the anger of first-wave feminism into an exquisite, consumable package. Like other female offenders in the series, her image and body project fantasy and glamour rather than criminological stigmata; she suits a consumerist model of vision rather than an anthropological or criminological one. In consumerist discourse, as I discuss in the introduction, to be visible and noticeable is a form of power rather than submission. Late- nineteenth-century advertisers and marketers preached, unlike Holmes, that it was better to be looked at than to look. They also defined, however, what kind of feminine embodiment was worthy of the gaze. Consumerism redefined femininity as public and visible, but only when it conformed to the logic of consumerism.

Given the series’s apparent investment in a criminological theory of vision, one would expect its female criminals to be easily identifiable, but envisioning women is an activity fraught with problems for Holmes, the otherwise expert eye. Women criminals prove capable of resisting the detective’s gaze, and Conan Doyle makes a sustained case for legal interventionism, which he associates (not unproblematically) with state feminism rather than state paternalism. Thus, at the turn of the twentieth century, Conan Doyle’s stories put forth a far more compound and ambivalent theory of gender, vision, and the public than has been previously acknowledged; they support the authority of the gaze and locate ontology in image, except when depicting women criminals. In these instances, Conan Doyle’s detective fiction prefigures filmic genres like film noir, in which femmes fatales reveal a great “truth” about the visual landscape of modern urban culture: that the unknowable is not signified by the invisible, but by a peculiarly modern disjunction between the visible and the real.”

This is an interesting article but it reminded me wasn’t there a meta or mention of a theory saying that it might have been Holmes who actually killed Milverton?

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