#also shoutout bikes!
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gods-favorite-autistic · 1 year ago
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Love how Havoc on the Half-Pipe is basically just each of the players going “hey you know what’d be fuckin sick” and then either succeeding in the coolest way or failing miserably
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numelfanclub · 6 months ago
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shenanigans happening..
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rouge-the-bat · 1 year ago
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team dark more like team dyke
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do you get me
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melenae · 2 years ago
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last episode of deadloch comin up which means I have like 2 days to solve the case myself
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scarletttbitch · 11 months ago
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how did u get into sewing!!
omg this somehow got totally buried in my notes (thanks tumblr mobile) but!!
Imma be real i dont Actually remember Why i got into sewing haha it was just something that my family thought i should know (and a way to keep my little autistic hands busy) but my mom was a big sewer when i was a kid, would make my halloween costumes every year and i started helping her with that when i was like 8, so my mom taught me hand-sewing when i was old enough to safely hold a needle (like 10?? i think??) and then my great-aunt taught me to use a machine when i was about 14. i would go to her condo for 'lessons' since she had a sewing room in her basement and she taught me how to read patterns and such :) I started making my own clothes very soon after, and by 16 I was either making or altering all my dresses for school dances 😂 and now [redacted] years later, I do it professionally!
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unitedstates0fdakota · 7 months ago
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Working with kids is wild in general but the specific group of children I work with love it when we pull up just dance videos and the most universally loved of those is the Waka Waka football version. Now, it is most beloved because of a specific move and only because of this specific move. It’s the bike.
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There’s also a part at the very end where they have to catch a guy but the bike is the favorite part.
And like, guys. The amount of times I have done this fucking bike I genuinely think I’ve messed up my back. Whoever came up with the bike needs to know what it has done to me and presumably many others. I know this whole dance by heart now. I have done this whole damn dance in a field with no music just vibes. My back
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bubaboos · 1 year ago
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saw akira at cinema
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jorvikzelda · 1 year ago
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Literally never ever not even once want to take public transport again in my life
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apnourry · 1 year ago
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What do you do for a living?
resident baddie at the local power sports store. they let me hit things with a forklift and cut boxes open and bully men twice my age it's the best
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wakinguponsaturday · 2 years ago
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you're in her dms, she's given me 5 stars + excellent navigator + well prepared + cool ride 😎. we are not the same
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starmapz · 3 months ago
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love & company - r. sukuna
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❊ biker!ryomen sukuna x biker!f!reader [ongoing series of oneshots & etc]
❝ you're beginning to lose hope of ever fixing your bike as the moon rises over the horizon when a man built like a brick wall and covered in tattoos stops to help you out. he's standoffish and his words are cold - but as it turns out the version of him you see is soft. who knew this man could ever become your best friend, let alone something more? ❞
❊ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. all pieces will have separate warnings. contains explicit sexual themes and content.
❊ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
❊ a/n ; hiiii loves! i've got so many little pieces revolving around l&c that i figured it made sense to put them all together into a masterlist. these are all pieces that revolve around this same iteration of sukuna but take place at separate moments. i also want to give an absolutely MASSIVE shoutout to @too-many-owls who drew the header above of a scene from the l&c oneshot for my bday this year, it's absolutely gorgeous and she deserves all the love for it <33 check out the full piece here!
main masterlist || ao3
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❊ oneshots ; love & company - i recommend starting with this! (tongue) tied - smut oneshot man's best friend - fluff oneshot
❊ drabbles ;
❊ headcanons ; husband!sukuna more husband!sukuna
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writing & format © starmapz. art © too-many-owls. dividers © adornedwithlight.
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okartichoke · 6 months ago
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ace avian. that’s what we’re calling this đŸ—ŁïžđŸ—ŁïžđŸ—Łïž
please let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions or input or anything! i’m happy to bounce ideas around (i'll post DL-6 someday soon i swear)
link to masterpost || explations below cut
shoutout to the anon who sent in that ask bc i seriously fell in love with blue jay phoenix. SHOUTOUT TO TAKAHE PHOENIX TOO THO takahe phoenix, you will forever be in my heart and im glad you existed <3333,, (maybe in this au he’s got some loving adoptive takahe parents :3) (YKNOW WHAT YEAH that’s canon now)
but yeah, flight-avoidant jay phoenix still lends itself well to the common-man hardworking underdog vibe i want from him. speaking of flight-avoidant...
Phoenix's relationship with flying:
It's a bit complicated. Basically, Phoenix can fly, but he historically chooses not to. From the lack of any practice, he's an INCREDIBLY weak flier. (That hovering is really all he can manage)
For one, he's still afraid of heights. Can't help that. This fear means he was less inclined to practice flying, which made him a weaker flier. And being a weaker flier, in turn, made his fear of heights worse. And so on, in a loop. With flightless parents too (it's canon now it's canon), there's even less of a reason to learn to fly. At some point, not flying might've even become something he stuck with out of stubbornness lol, knowing Phoenix.
(I will soon be making a couple small world building posts, but) flying isn't necessary to get around in their society. Convenient, sure, but Phoenix realized he could make do without, and so he did. Phoenix, you icon. Slay. 💅💅
i know this probably isn't the popular take with wing AUs??, but Phoenix being flightless (or at least semi-flightless) sounded like a really fun take on the idea to me. His name is irony at its peak. I also look forward to exploring how other characters react to him not flying. The prosecutors are going to have so many cheap insult opportunities.
As I mentioned though, he still uses his wings a LOT, though. He's much more emotive with them than most people. His sarcastic inner-dialogue remarks are also betrayed by his wings lmao
I also imagine bird-folk never really invented bikes (riding would just be annoying with their wings, plus bikes aren't fast/efficient enough to outweigh just flying), so instead, Phoenix gets around on a little wing-powered scooter device (like scootaloo lol) (they're usually made for children who can't fly yet, but Phoenix still uses one)
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finally, wow, stellar jay’s are quite literally just phoenix wright as a bird lmao? color scheme, hair, it’s uncanny. give it a pink tie and it just is Phoenix Wright, i used a blue jay since they’ve got a bit more striking wings but wow.
(ty again for the support and for reading my essay ! :3)
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one more thing, but @kora-kat YES YES YES this. ^^^^ omg THIS. this is still true even though he's a jay now.
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blue-jisungs · 1 year ago
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love shot
summary. seungcheol loves playing cupid for you and jihoon because of you two dislike each other
warnings. good ol' e2l but also a mafia-ish setting so the usual: guns, gunshots, blood, cursing, telling people to die. also suggestive at some points !
word count. 7k-ish
author's note. idk whats this but enjoy!!! big shoutout to my beloved @wheeboo for proofreading and correcting my silly mistakes!!! ilysm mwah thank u from the bottom of my heart <333 ++ thank u @weird-bookworm for inspiring me like i wrote 5k of this in one sitting bc of u đŸ«”
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the air in the room was heavy, everyone waiting in anticipation. there was some chatter, only from the most talkative members of the group, yet it was very quiet. the others like you, jihoon, or wonwoo sat in silence staring at the wooden table. 
suddenly the door opened and seungcheol came in, dressed in a black coat and his luxurious watch. 
this immediately stopped all noise and caused all eyes to look at him. 
“our plug just gave us the information that the group is meeting up at an abandoned factory. we’re still waiting for the precise location but i want you all to be ready” he announced, voice stern. the leader of the group scanned all the faces “we suspect it’s the old factory that used to produce cigarettes. since it’s quite big, we’ll need to divide into groups. i’ll also call for backup if my suspicions turn out to be true”
you nodded, eyes scanning a board behind seungcheol’s back. it had all the evidence and necessary photos but by now – because all of the six months you’ve been trying to catch this criminal group – you knew all their faces by heart. 
you were a crime fighting organization, one would call it the fbi. but you weren’t really
 a government official. you often switched groups, just depending on who’s running low on staff. 
some groups, like the one you’ve been working with, had their permanent squad. only because their leader seungcheol (nickname s.coups) had been injured, you were called in to replace him. maybe not in leader duties but your combat abilities were very similar to his
 which gained respect amongst the organization. 
you liked working with seventeen – that was their group name. they were all unique and special in different ways but also talented, skilled, and laser focused on their task. 
you even got to meet them outside the work field, like going biking with soonyoung and seokmin in your free time. or taking a culinary class with mingyu and hansol. and many many others. you really liked them and contrary to other groups you’ve worked with, you were sure you’ll keep in touch with them after the work is done. 
they all liked you too. except jihoon
 you weren’t sure why but that was okay. he pissed you off too, like always using your mug even though you clearly stated it’s yours, constant snarky comments aimed at you (and your ironic ones fired back at him). you both just didn’t click
 you tried to avoid each other, knowing that even a mere meeting on a hallway will cause a quarrel. 
which is why you’re all tensed up, legs and hands crossed together, because jihoon was late. he had to sit on the spot next to you and of course he’s manspreading, fakely oblivious to the fact that he’s almost shoving his knee into yours.
the door opened and an intern, taehyun, barged into the room. 
“u-oh. hello, everyone. our suspicions got confirmed, it’s the old cigarette factory. they should be there in an hour but we don’t know how many people will be there” he said, eyes focused on s.coups. the man nodded gently.
“thank you, taehyun. so we’ll bring back up, just in case. we don’t know if they’re armed, do we?” the leader asked the boy. taehyun hesitated.
“there’s no official information
” his voice trailed off. 
“but?” seungcheol rose his eyebrows, crossing his arms.
“if you mind my honest opinion, i think they’ll be armed. they always carry at least a gun” taehyun said, face serious. seungcheol sent him a warm smile.
“good point. thank you, taehyun. go now and tell the staff to prepare our vehicles” 
the intern nodded and left. if you weren’t used to sore muscles because of all the hours of training, your legs would start to cramp because of how squished your legs were in order to avoid touching jihoon. 
“good. then, soonyoung you’re going as usual: jun, minghao and chan. wonwoo, mingyu and vernon go together. rest of the team as usual so seokmin, seungkwan, jeonghan and joshua” seungcheol nodded and you swore you saw a ghost of a smile dance on his lips.
“and me?” jihoon asked, leaning forward. 
“you’re going with y/n. you’ll work as a pair to sneak from behind” the leader announced and before you could let out a yelp of surprise, he was already going towards the door. “let’s go” 
the sun has already settled before you arrived to the location. the ride there was silent, everyone rather serious about the moment: will you manage to capture the drug boss? he always keeps running away, as sand slips through fingers. it was starting to get on your nerves and you were determined to put a stop to it. 
arriving to your base, you noticed some extra cars. the backup arrived. 
in your all black uniforms, heavy boots and hidden knives behind your belt (and extra one in your left shoe), your team was ready. well, jihoon. 
“you’ll go first. entering from the back. we studied the building before so you should be able to know where to go more or less. as soon as you locate them, let us know” seungcheol said and put his hands on your and jihoon’s arm “and no fighting or i’ll fucking kill you” 
“yes, dad” you snickered and patted his hand.
“and don’t die, alright?” seungcheol rose his eyebrows.
“as if i would let that happen” jihoon snarled and shrugged off cheol’s hand, leaving. the leader nodded and you followed your partner, hand resting on your gun. 
you were lead to the building by the instructions in your in-ear. managing to slip in quietly, you were following jihoon. 
the building was consumed by darkness, nothing but silence. going through the corridors, you checked in all the rooms. 
finally getting to the main room with all the machinery, jihoon stopped in his tracks. he looked back at you, his dark eyes shining with pure focus. 
“do you hear it?” woozi asked, voice below a whisper. you frowned and suddenly heard it: 
distant chatter, footsteps, and a shuffle of something moving around. your eyes locked with his (and you became hyper aware that he had his gaze on you all the time), and you gave a small nod.
“i’ll try to locate them more or less. you go check the rest of the rooms
 and let’s call backup” he ordered. his gaze lingered on you for a bit longer before he went into the darkness of the factory. 
you did as he said, your hand ready to pull out your gun any second. 
room by room – nothing. you knew the rest of the team already came inside since you could hear noises of combat. some shouts, things getting thrown. no gunshots
 maybe they weren’t armed after all? 
for a while your heart skipped a beat. are they all okay? even
 jihoon? 
you shook your head and while checking in another room, you didn’t notice anything strange. as you began to grow annoyed that all the action is taking place and you’re here, alone and without anything
 you heard footsteps, rushed footsteps, as if someone was running away. 
you returned to the door, peeking out since the sound came from the corridor.
“fucking beomgyu
 i’ll kill him. i knew there was something wrong with that boy” 
your eyes went wide, hearing the voice. it was the boss. you knew the voice (and him) too well. 
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“do we need to do it?” you grunted, arms crossed. a thundering gaze that was supposed to scare seungcheol was rather amusing for him. 
“yes. you’re the only woman in our group” he said, shaking his head. 
“well, so what? he can go with his friends? with homies for a drink!” you grunted and paced around the room “i respect you as a leader, cheol. i really do. but you know how much i just don’t get along with jihoon
”
“hm, do you? i already see that you started calling him by his name, not his code name” seungcheol wiggled his brows and you came up to him, punching his arm. chuckles left the buffed man’s body and you realised he doesn’t care, at all.
“fuck you” you grunted, grabbing your bag “you owe me a drink after this” 
seungcheol’s laugh was the only thing that you heard even after leaving the room. 
arriving at the restaurant, you sighed. joining the seventeen group you wouldn’t even think that you’d be send to a “date” with your enemy to spy on your actual enemy. and yet, here you are. 
the chatter of people and clinking of glasses hit your ears, the inside of the building taking your breath away. it was so royal and rich, you felt small. well, no wonder that a mafia boss would dine here. and only here. 
“hello, ma’am. may i ask who are you here with?” a waiter asked, smiling politely.
“oh. the reservation is set for kwak jiho” you answered swiftly. the fake name was so ridiculous “is he here?”
“ah, yes. mr. kwak arrived shortly before you. let me lead the way” the waiter nodded and you followed them. 
there were so many stunning people. some of the faces you knew - due to their criminal record or just because they were celebrities. you made sure to check where your main concern was sitting. park chinhae was sitting there, in all his glory, sipping a drink. 
your eyes widened when you realised you’re sitting at the table right next to him. the waiter bowed gently and left, leaving you with jihoon. 
he stood up and walked up to you, grabbing your hand and placing a soft kiss atop of it. the action made you freeze, but nonetheless, you kept your façade as best as you could.
“you
 you look stunning, my dear” he breathed out, eyes scanning over your figure. 
well, you figured that it’s a lifetime opportunity: having seungcheol’s black card to spend on the attire. so you went crazy, as anyone would. 
a little birdie (minghao) told you that red (especially the ruby shade) is one of jihoon’s favourite colours. so you picked a red dress, nothing too revealing yet having a nice cut to show your left leg. paired with a ruby lipstick and some pretty, sparkly jewellery off you went. you even decided to go to a professional hairdresser because who’s stopping you...? 
and apparently, it worked. or maybe jihoon was so used to seeing you in sweatpants and hoodies that this elegant side of you unexpectedly swept him off his feet. 
“thank you, baby. you don’t look bad yourself” you hummed and watched him put the chair away for you. jihoon was wearing an all black tuxedo and an expensive tie. his hair slicked back
 he was quite handsome looking this way. not like you cared, of course. 
once you were in your seat and jihoon returned to his, you crossed your legs. your heel brushed against his leg and he raised his eyebrow. 
“i ordered some wine already, dear” he hummed and when you shifted your gaze to park chinhae, he just nodded. he knew. 
the nickname caused a swirl of butterflies to storm your stomach and for the nth time this day, you cursed seungcheol in your mind. 
you grabbed the menu that you already studied beforehand – the name of the dishes were code names for different question or orders. 
“which wine did you choose?” you asked, tapping the table. 
“chñteau haut-brion” jihoon answered, eyes never leaving yours. nothing yet. 
“i see” you nodded. suddenly your mind goes blank – what are you supposed to talk about with jihoon? the two of you never met outside work. duh, you barely even talked normally at work
 
“what about the food? fancy anything?” he asked, shifting in his seat. you two had secret cameras and microphones that could catch the conversation happening next to you, so technically you wouldn’t have to do anything. however, you were curious if you’ll hear anything useful.
“i
 i don’t know” you scoffed and put the menu down, biting your lip in wonder “i think i’ll wait for the waiter to recommend something”
jihoon was about to answer you when suddenly you heard a male voice.
“if i may interrupt
” 
you looked up and noticed park chinhae looking at you with a smirk dancing on his lips. he was sitting relaxed in his seat, almost as if he owned the place. 
“i couldn’t help but pay attention to such a beautiful lady and if you’re having a dilemma what to choose
 i truly recommend lemony mussels with cherry tomatoes and potatoes” the man said, giving jihoon a look that you couldn’t crack. was it some sort of trying to assert dominance? or genuine help?
“ah
 thank you mr
” you rose your eyebrow, waiting for his name.
“mr. park chinhae. but such a pretty lady can call me just chinhae” he smiled. you saw jihoon’s jaw clench. you leaned forward charmingly and tapped your red nails against the table.
“well, thank you chinhae. but i’m not a connoisseur of seafood, sadly. i appreciate your help though” you nodded with a playful smile.
“ah, no worries! then, let me take a guess: pork or beef?” he asked, full on ignoring jihoon. you couldn’t lie – the situation amused you. 
“lamb” was your reply, eyes focused on the drug boss. he looked at the man he was with and clicked his tongue.
“a woman of a taste, i see. good. such lady is a true gem” only now park chinhae’s landed at jihoon. almost threateningly “then my choice would be rosĂ©-marinated grilled lamb leg with walnut salsa fresca”
you gasped, dramatically covering your mouth with your hand. 
“chinhae, you must be a regular here. that’s what i’ll settle for, then. thank you so much, i bet it’ll be delicious” you hummed. the man only winked in response and returned to his friend. 
silence fell between you and jihoon, his gaze on fire. was he
 pissed?
“what? there’s too many things to choose from” you chuckled and nudged his leg. almost as if to say ‘behave’. 
“i’ll be sure to later remind you the dish name at my place” he snarled, his mask slipping off for a second. you let out a scoff, noticing the waiter.
“we’ll see if i even end up there” you teased and relaxed in your seat as the waiter came with wines. 
“may i take your order?” they asked. 
as you ordered the dish chinhae recommended to you, jihoon ordered sweet and spicy pork chops. a code name for ‘be careful’. you just rolled your eyes at him and once the waiter was gone, you saw a sudden glint in his ebony irises. 
“so, aeri
 what were you up to this weekend?” he asked, the fake name sounding strange in his lips. 
“i went on a trip to yongin with my friends. we had a lovely time there” you hummed. with a corner of your eye, you noticed chinhae smile. well, it was his hometown after all. 
“oh, really? what did you do there?” jihoon asked and suddenly placed his hand down, close to yours. looking him in the eyes, the air in the room began to grow heavy. 
“we’re a little too old for amusement parks” you giggled and decided to start drawing shapes on his hand with the tip of your finger “so we settled to go see a traditional folk village and art museums, then we went to a bar or two at the end of the day”
jihoon was focused on you, as if the mafia boss next to you didn’t exist. the whole room felt empty, only you and jihoon on the room.
“and you? didn’t you miss me too much?” you teased and noticed the boss picked up his phone.
“i think about you every minute of the day, so obviously i missed you” he said ironically, drawing an eye roll from you “i just stayed at home and binge watched the series you recommended me”
“really? alice in borderland?” you asked, stunned. you didn’t recommend it to jihoon, to be precise, but to be fair you were talking about it a lot lately.
jihoon shrugged and from the side, you overheard a piece of rumble from chinhae. 
“–all of it? you better, you smart beast. good job, i’ll see you at the usual, next week–”
“yeah, really. it wasn’t that bad” he shrugged. 
shortly after your food arrived and while you chatted (and to your amusement, flirted a lot), jihoon occasionally grabbed your hand. you, trying to show him that two can play that game, from time to time rested your high heel against his leg and moved it slowly. you enjoyed the flushed look on his face, whether it was your antics or the wine. 
you managed to catch some words like ‘magazine’, ‘6pm’, ‘make more income’ or some useful – new or old – names being dropped. 
you came to a conclusion you wouldn’t get more information. he was in a public space after all. 
“shall we have some dessert?” you asked “i’m craving tiramisu” 
jihoon rose his eyebrows. tiramisu was a code for ‘let’s end this’.
“why? i mean– are you–?” his eyes widened. you rested your chin on your hands.
“i’m fine, i’m just in the mood for something sweet” you shrugged and jihoon couldn’t crack what you meant. then he just smiled playfully.
“hm, okay. i was hoping we could get some dessert afterwards” he hummed “but tiramisu sounds fine” 
you scoffed and grabbed your purse.
“great. i’ll be right back, you can order in the meantime” you said and stood up, noticing park chinhae looking at you. he was talking but you sent him a gentle smile and went to the bathroom.
you took your sweet time, fixing your lipstick and hair. also checking the hidden camera and microphone (which, to be frank, you completely forgot about), you took a deep breath. 
then the realization hit you. the whole team was listening to your and jihoon’s flirting. 
smacking your forehead, you let out a loud groan. seungcheol will so need to buy you a drink. a couple, even. 
reapplying some perfume, you zipped your bag and left the bathroom. only to see park chinhae in the hallway, leaning against the wall and being in the phone. he didn’t see you, back facing you. 
“i need all the cargo by friday. ship it to the factory this time because i think someone is sniffing around us” he said, voice low but enough for you to hear “and check that intern. beomhan– ah, beomgyu”
you saw him move and before he fully turned around, you acted like you just left the bathroom. 
closing the door and turning around, your heart sped up.
“i’m hanging up” was all you heard before there was a sound of approaching footsteps “hey there”
you turned around and faked a shocked face.
“oh, hello mr. lamb leg. it was delightful, thank you” the corner of your lips turned upwards. you noticed his phone in his hand was unlocked, showing the caller id number. you had to act quickly if you wanted the camera to capture it. and you had to shift your position. 
“no problem, it was my pleasure to help such a beautiful woman. may i know your name, though?” he asked, eyebrows rising up. you playfully threw your hair back and crossed your arms, shifting your body weight to your left leg. you noticed the way his gaze lingered on it because the cut in the fabric revealed it. 
“it’s aeri” you said and cursed mentally. it’s probably not enough “if you hit me with ‘a pretty name for a pretty woman’ i’ll have to give you a disappointing look” 
he laughed and you suddenly leaned closer, fixing his bowtie. it was risky, you could see how he tensed up to your touch. but because of that, you were sure that the hidden camera captured his phone screen before it turned off.
“it was crooked. sorry, i’m a bit of a perfectionist” you apologized and leaned back. 
“who would i be to despise a woman’s hands on me?” he flashed you a toothy grin. gross. “is your date boring? you can always leave with me”
your heart skipped a beat. you could. that way you could get more information
 or what if he lead you to his place? no, probably not. but still

“ah, i can see you thinking about it” chinhae hummed. if there was an in-ear in your ear, you’d probably hear seungcheol saying to not even think about it. 
you were about to say something– anything. 
“y/– aeri!” 
you turned around and saw jihoon. fuck. 
chinhae put a hand on your shoulder and it took you everything in your willpower not to shrug it off. 
“here you are. i began to get worried” jihoon snarled, shooting daggers at the man touching you. 
“anyways. my offer still stands, if you want to have some actual fun” chinhae whispered in your ear and began to walk away. jihoon walked up to you, wanting to say something but suddenly turned around.
“she’ll have some fun, don’t worry about it” he said. chinhae turned his head and scanned jihoon head to toe. 
“with a man your size?” 
you had to tug his sleeve. chinhae winked at you and left, leaving only you and jihoon in the hallway. 
“calm down, lee” you grunted and when he looked at you, you just sent him a amused expression “i bet aeri would have some nice time with jiho. but there’s nothing left to do, we should go” 
“agreed. i already paid, let’s just go” he grunted and gestured you to go first “i’ll drop you off and don’t even argue. that weirdo could follow you”
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how ironic. while undercover at the restaurant, he was walking away from you. and now, he did the same yet now you were the one playing with him. 
stepping out to the corridor, you debated your options: you could shoot him. you could harm him and capture. or just capture. 
suddenly he took a sharp turn to the stairs that lead to the other floor. you managed to hide in one of the janitor rooms. only when the sound of his footsteps became quiet, you followed him as quietly as you could. 
the open space allowed you to see the lights of flashlights far away. you noticed a glimpse of him going into one of the offices. why isn’t he running away
? 
quietly placing your steps you approached the room. taking a peek inside, you saw that chinhae is rummaging through drawers.
“where the fuck is it
” he grunted, throwing papers on the ground. 
“we’re done here. there’s everyone except park chinhae but he wasn’t even meant to be here, apparently. let’s leave. does everyone copy?”
you couldn’t answer – the man would hear you if you did, and your cover would be blown.
taking a deep breath, you checked if you had handcuffs with you. luckily, you did. swallowing with a beating heart, you walked in. 
“hands up, chinhae” 
the man turned around and frowned. the room was dark, only streams of moonlight sneaking through the blinds. you kicked the door close, gun pointed at him. 
“whatever you’re looking for, it won’t save you” you said harshly. 
“a woman threatening me with a gun. never would i have imagined i’d find myself in such a position” he laughed and started slowly approaching you. one thing was clear: you can’t kill him. or seriously injure him. 
before you could act, he jumped towards you. and it hits you like a hard slap to the face – you didn’t unlock your weapon.
ducking his attack, you kicked him in the stomach. the man lost his balance and hit the desk with a thud. grabbing the first thing that was in his reach, he hurled a lamp at you. it hit your arm, making your weapon fall out of your hands. 
before he could jump and grab it, you kicked it away. landing on the floor, he hastily pulled at your leg causing you to fall next to him. the man didn’t waste any time and grabbed you by your shoulders, climbing atop of your body. one hand cupped at your jaw. as he hovered above you, he tongued his cheek.
“you” chinhae grunted, scanning your face. the moonlight shined perfectly on your face, and you could see the puzzle pieces connecting in his head. in the meantime you tried to sneakily reach for your dagger tucked behind your belt.
he ripped your in-ear and sent it crashing against the wall. 
“ah, i should’ve been more careful” he hissed and his hands moved down to your neck. his body weight was crushing you, your sweaty fingers mere millimetres from getting ahold of your blade “such a beautiful woman
 what a shame i’ll have to kill you”
“i’d like to see you try” you snarled just when his hands tightened around your throat. the lack of oxygen hit your head, he wasn’t sparing any time. as his hold became tighter and tighter, you struggled to take out your dagger. 
mere moments from all the air being cut off, you finally grabbed your knife and stabbed him in the arm, drawing a loud yelp from him. using the sudden shock you managed to roll him over and take a deep breath, followed by painful, hacking coughs. leaning on your hands, you tried to blink away your spinning vision. a sudden kick landed at your arm caused you to fall on the floor again.
“you’re alone, huh? where’s your date?” he growled ironically. 
you stood up and noticed your gun. you reached for it, swiftly unlocking it. loud steps of his heavy boots echoed through the room.
“i told you to leave with me. you’d have way more fun, and wouldn’t end up this way” his voice was way too close for your liking. 
you pointed the gun at him, standing up. before you could realize, the moonlight shone on his figure. 
seungcheol stopped in his tracks, counting all his crew for the nth time. jihoon was talking to joshua, vernon and seokmin; wonwoo and mingyu were on the phone with someone from the company; minghao, jun and chan were comforting beomgyu; soonyoung, jeonghan and seungkwan were counting the captured men. 
“what is it?” joshua asked, drawing everyone’s attention to seungcheol. even the backup people were starting to get worried.
“it was
 too smooth. no guns, their boss not in sight
 and i have a feeling that
” his voice trailed off and he suddenly noticed jihoon getting pale.
“did anyone see y/n?” 
the silence that fell amongst them spoke volumes, the feeling of anxiety hitting them all.
“fuck, i knew it.. i’m still getting used to the fact there’s 13 of you now. y/n, do you copy?” seungcheol asked through the in-ear. 
he was answered with only silence. but then unexpectedly, there was a gunshot.
the horrifying sound of it ripped through the empty space, causing everyone in the room to stiffen up. 
“y/n, say something” jihoon ordered, tapping his in-ear piece as if that was supposed to help. 
“the IT guys are saying that they don’t see her in the voice channel” wonwoo spoke up “but she’s in the building. the northern side, where you guys entered” 
“jihoon, wait!” seungcheol yelled after woozi ran in said direction. 
“always getting in fucking trouble
” he snarled to himself, trying to ignore the heavy feeling blooming in his heart. it wasn’t a gunshot aimed at you, obviously. how could it be? they captured everyone. 
he checked all the rooms on the floor and with each passing second, when there was no sigh of you, his chest swelled with fear. hypothetically speaking if you were hurt, he was running out of time. 
a sudden, dull noise of something – or rather someone – falling on the floor reached his ears. it came from
 upstairs? 
he noticed the stairs. fuck.
“she’s on the second floor” he said to the in-ear, almost flying through the stairs. kicking every door open, he finally found you. 
you were putting handcuffs on an unconscious park chinhae, a growing pool of ruby blood between your bodies.
“thank goodness
 is he alive?” jihoon asked, dropping to his knees. 
“you’re worried about him?” you joked, relieved to see that jihoon is fine. 
“why would i care about you?” he grunted. oh, so you’re back to normal. good to know. 
he checked his pulse and noticed the knife in his arm. you just shook your head and saw dark spots in front of your eyes. 
leaning your head exhaustively against the desk, your face twisted in pain. 
jihoon should’ve seen that first. but the thing that caught his attention were two guns on the floor.
which meant the unconscious man had a weapon too. 
“don’t even tell me it was him” jihoon said, a hint of worry in his voice. you shook your head and he just sighed, walking up to you. 
he kneeled in front of you, gently grabbing you by your chin and forcing you to look him in the eye.
“please tell me it was you who fired” he repeated, voice stern and cold. emotionless on the surface but you felt the bitterness of it.
“i’m fine” you huffed, scrunching your face.
the silence spoke volumes and jihoon wasted no time helping you stand up. eyes focused on you, he tried to look for any wounds. 
“you still haven’t answered my question. can you stop being annoying for once and tell me who was it?” his voice rose up a bit and you sensed genuine concern. your heart ached upon that but the pain was stronger.
“i’m sorry. it was too late when i noticed” you whispered and felt your knees go weak. thanks to jihoon’s quick reflexes, he caught you, arms wrapping around your body. and that’s when he felt it. 
he couldn’t see the blood due to the black clothes and darkness in the room. but he certainly felt it on his hands, and his throat went dry. 
“i’ll fucking kill you if you die on me right now” jihoon’s voice broke. 
people barged into the room, immediately taking care of the mafia boss.
you just shook your head and jihoon felt more and more warm blood spilling on his hands.
“you’re such an dumb idiot, getting yourself shot” he rambled at this point. the next events slurred into one vague memory. him grabbing you in bridal style, seungcheol shaking your arms, a car ride to the base with jihoon’s fingers interlocked with yours. his voice repeatedly saying ‘don’t die’ and you, struggling to respond with an ironic moment and only managing to mumble a “try me’’ before passing out on his lap. 
you slowly opened your eyes, the blinding brightness of the room causing you to close them again. trying again, you looked around the room. hospital room
? 
once the events started slowly coming back to you, you noticed a fluffy ball next to your knees. then you realised it’s a fluffy ball of messy hair. jihoon’s messy hair. jihoon, who was sleeping next to you on a plastic chair. 
you frowned and tried to look for the wound. with one hand examining your body, because the other
 the other was held by the man next to you. 
when your shaky fingers stumbled upon the bandage, you saw jihoon slowly rose his head up. 
he looked at you, dark circles under his ebony eyes. then they widened in shock upon noticing that–
“you’re awake!” he gasped, back straightening. you could only nod weakly “do you need anything? water? does it hurt? should i call the doctor? are you
”
“water will be fine” you hummed in slight amusement, enjoying this caring side of jihoon. only when he stood up to get some, he realized he was still holding your hand. turning his back to you, so you couldn’t see his reddening face, he started looking for some water.
“what
 what happened to park chinhae? you captured him, right? did he say anything?” you asked, fixing your posture. hissing when a sudden wave of pain ripped through your body, jihoon turned around immediately “also
 how long i’ve been
”
“two weeks” jihoon replied quietly, placing a bottle of water on the nightstand. you went to open it but struggled, hating the way you were so helpless “you lost a lot of blood, the bullet stayed in your body. we got the best medic but you scared us all to death” he mumbled, grabbing the water bottle and opening it for you. when he handed it back, his caring gaze lingered on you. 
“oh i bet” you mumbled before taking a sip.
“that’s what you do the best, apparently” jihoon bit back, opening the blinds in the room. 
“i barely woke up and here you go again
 will you tell me what happened to park chinhae?” you asked, looking at him.
“you captured him and knocked unconscious so we could transport him. then we had an interrogation, he–” jihoon let out an annoyed sigh, returning back to the chair next to you. he looked tired “he didn’t say shit. in fact, all he was saying was shit about you” 
“oh?” you frowned. you were used to this, sadly, since it happened frequently but the way he said that was
 hinting that he didn’t leave this in peace. 
“yeah. so me and cheol taught him a little lesson about respect for women and then he started talking” he said with a playful smirk.
“jihoon, am i hearing that right? you stood up for me?” you teased, putting the water bottle away. he rolled his eyes. 
“whatever. he said the name of his main dealer so we handed him to the police. after wiping out his money, of course” he smiled and his mouth hung open for a while, as if he was thinking about adding something.
but just when he seemed to make his mind and speak out, the door bursted open. 
“Y/N L/N YOU IDIOT! YOU’RE AWAKE?” seungcheol yelled out, but you just shrugged. 
just when he was about to rush and hug you, you shook your head. 
“it still hurts, cheol” you mumbled. he sent you a reassuring yet worried smile, then his eyes shifted to jihoon.
“you’re still here?” he asked teasingly, crossing his arms. you rose your eyebrows “y’know, y/n, he wouldn’t leave your side when you were unconscious” 
“can you not?” jihoon grunted, face stone-cold.
“you felt guilty, huh? i remember you saying ‘as if i would let us die’ but there you were, as pale as a ghost when y/n passed out on you” seungcheol snickered and stopped once he saw a dangerous glint in woozi’s eyes “jihoon, could you actually leave for a second? i need to discuss a private matter with y/n”
“whatever” the man sighed and before he left, his gaze lingered on you for a while longer. with a soft click of door closing, seungcheol sat down next to you.
“what is it?” you asked, scared. 
“nothing, actually. i just wanted to ask if there’s something between you and jihoon?” he rose his eyebrows. you shook your head, frowning.
“absolutely not” you grunted, looking away. okay, he was good-looking and funny but
 not annoying most of the time. 
“ah, really? because he wouldn’t leave your side while you were unconscious. he made sure the nurses that took care of you and changed your clothes were female and
 beat up park chinhae pretty badly when we interviewed him. and also he wouldn’t say it but i could see it on his face that he felt guilty that it happened” seungcheol crossed his arms “what i’m trying to say is
 consider his weird behaviour” 
you stared at the leader with a mixture of confusion and awe. 
“are you trying to say that
 he likes me
?” you mumbled. cheol just shrugged.
“dunno. he acts differently around you. i’ve known him for a while and i just know that something is going on. but he’d rather get shot than admit it” seungcheol scoffed and gestured at you “no pun intended”
you reached for the water bottle and sighed, mind racing. that was a lot to process.
“i’ll go and tell others that you woke up, m’kay? and i’ll also call in the doctor” the leader stood up and smiled, ruffling your hair. 
leaving you and your thoughts alone, you stared at the hoodie that someone left on the chair.
jihoon paced in front of the door, his thoughts spinning around him. you were supposed to leave today since the goal was accomplished. everyone bid you goodbye, and even threw a small party. it’s not like you’re leaving forever – you’ll stay in touch with them or join them again. but physically, you won’t be here anymore. 
he took a deep breath and knocked at your door. whatever. it’ll be fine. 
“yes, come in” your voice chirped welcomingly. he smiled and pushed the door open. 
he saw you packing your bags with
 his hoodie on. 
“oh” 
jihoon frowned. 
“what do you mean ‘oh’?” he grunted, crossing his arms. you just let out a chuckle and shook your head. 
“you’re the last person i would’ve expected to come here” a hum left your mouth as you turned your back to him and grabbed a pair of socks “what is it? one last ironic comment before i go?”
you were met with silence, causing you to turn around and look at him. jihoon looked serious, ebony irises focused on you. 
he was practising this. he memorised everything what he wanted to say, even the tone of his voice. but seeing you now caused everything to fly out of his head, lips moving on his own. and before he realized – it was too late.
“i like you” 
the socks dropped out of your hands. you blinked slowly, mouth closing and opening like a fish that’s been out of water for too long.
“w- what?” you scoffed and shook your head, trying to bend down to grab the socks. yet, the state of your wound didn’t allow you to do it normally. letting out a hiss, jihoon rushed to help and grabbed it for you. placing the socks in your bag, you were able to see his face up close. to your amusement, you noticed his ears turning red. 
“i guess seungcheol told you his assumptions. i like you, okay? the stupid gun thing made me realize that” he huffed, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. 
“what do you mean?” you asked, playing with him. it’s a rare occurrence that jihoon gets so open and talkative, you might as well use it. 
“it’s just
 i felt guilty. you were dying on me and it suddenly hit me that life would be horrific without annoying you. and you, yourself. i’d miss you
 and stuff. so i guess i like you. i’m not telling you because you’re leaving now but i
 i just felt like it” he admitted bashfully, stumbling over his words, all while avoiding your eyes. 
“jihoon” you couldn’t help your smile grow.
“and it’s my hoodie by the way” he pointed at the clothing, trying not to think how perfectly the hoodie fits you.
“jih– huh, really?” a gasp left your lips. you were sure it was seungcheol’s or
 ah. jihoon probably left it when he was looking over you. 
“you can keep it” he said softly and finally, your eyes met. for the first time, you saw that he’s anxious “i’ll get going. don’t die on your way back. bye”
“jihoon, wait–” you laughed and grabbed his wrist. he turned around and his stomach was stormed by butterflies when he felt your gentle hold. “it’s true, seungcheol made me realize this and that”
“that asshole” jihoon muttered, peering at you. you were
 smiling. 
“so i’ve been thinking about it. i told myself: i’ll be here for two more weeks. if until my leave jihoon won’t say or do anything, i’ll leave like nothing happened. if he does – i’ll tell him the truth” you said slowly, seeing how the gears visibly turned in his head. cute–
“what?” he asked, now being the one stunned. 
“you like me. i
 think i like you too. apart from being an asshole, you’re pretty sufferable” you grinned and poked his chest. 
“what?” he frowned, his face contorting like you just spoke to him in a completely different language.
“don’t make me repeat it” you breathed out, the sudden realization that you said it hitting you. 
“does
 what
” his eyes suddenly fell on your lips “can i
”
“yes, you can kiss me” you whispered, finishing the sentence for him.
jihoon stepped closer, his hand leaving yours only to be placed on your jaw. the hold was gentle, almost as if he was afraid that he’ll break you. 
then, his plush lips landed on yours. the kiss made your head spin – it was so unlike him but then again, so jihoon-y. nothing but tender and respectful, a taste of the chocolate cake that was served during the party lingering on his lips. 
before you could deepen the kiss, he leaned away.
“i’m 100% serious about it. i know i’ve been acting like a dick but i couldn’t help it. it’s hard to act normal around such a pretty person” he snickered, thumbs caressing your cheeks “and as much as i’d want to kiss you again, chan was supposed to pick you up”
“but
 we’ll stay in touch, alright?” you asked, pouting slightly. jihoon noticed the way your e/c eyes sparkled with hope and he couldn’t help but shoot you a genuine smile. 
“of course. do you have any plans for the weekend? we could go on a date
 like a normal one” he offered, stepping away. 
you nodded with a grin, zipping up your bag. “i’d love to” 
out of the blue, the door bursted open. chan was about to yell something when he noticed jihoon.
“what the fuck!” the youngest yelped.
“i hope you fall down the stairs, by the way” almost like a switch, jihoon snarled. however, this time you saw the amused smile on his sneaking lips.
“sure. you too” you shook your head and left with chan, giving jihoon a last goodbye look.
but only for now, because you’ll see him again soon. 
masterlist <3
taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @jiwuu ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth
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storgicdealer · 8 months ago
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NONONO YOURE COOKING !!!!!!
even if it is a dream theory instance. it doesn't mean it can't influence their reality. especially considering how unpredictable oranges powers are. i feel like ur theory makes a lot of sense !!!
and. hey. pause on the youtube metaphor for a second (badumtss)
youtube is still a pretty influential thing when it comes to rules of ava/m ! the whole anim vs youtube shows a lot on how sticks could interact with videos. and actually it DOES make me think wait hold on brain explosion gif
a universe in an array of different universes — such as videos. is it possible for anim vs education to tie in with the whole timeloop/replaying feature of youtube? in fact. could this whole thing literally be something played over and over? ohhhh that makes my gears work in my mind. more in the tags
OH HOLY SHIT I JUST HAD A THOUGHT
AvE theory. (prediction?) what if. what if the whole series is leading up to TSC LEARNING HOW TO USE THEIR POWERS
no idea how. but if it happens, i was here or whatever people say when they successfully predict something
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melliemell · 4 months ago
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Happy Birthday to the biggest baby ever!
Shoutout to Flamey for hosting his bday party and encouraging us to participate (gosh, I love her writing so much, you've no idea)
Pairing: Ranpo x reader
Contents: SFW, Ranpo being a menace, bike riding 101 + public transport is for losers, approx 2.1k words
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I don’t see the point in that,” Ranpo declared with all the dignity in the world as he flopped down on the pavement. Carefree. And too calm.
You levelled your breath, trying to balance the bike on your hip as your anxiety grew by the second. You’ve been employed at the ADA for some time now, not enough to be on familiar terms with your colleagues, but enough to have figured out some of their quirks and knacks over the weeks.
Ranpo was a pretty open book, to be frank. A man that whined and lazied about most of the time, but most importantly– he never seemed to be in a hurry for anything. 
“This is the best I could do,” you said, clutching the bike’s handles in exasperation. “Please, Ranpo. If we don’t go now, we’ll be late for the 4 pm meeting.” 
You could, under no circumstances, be late for that. Especially Ranpo, seeing as he was the one who’d be leading the update on the new case you were signed to. He was signed to. Not you, you were merely the unlucky clerk who happened to be at the office at the wrong time. You had wondered why everyone scurried away when Yosano asked for assistance with Ranpo.
The man was an absolute disaster with public transport. 
Even more so when said transport was also nonexistent, and you might be somewhat stranded in an unfamiliar neighbourhood with no available taxis and a bored out of his mind detective looking at you like you’ve grown a second head in the span of 2 seconds.
“What?” you asked.
Ranpo leaned back on the heels of his palms, head cocked as he raised a brow. “You don’t even know how to ride that, by the way. How’s that gonna work out for ya?”
You don’t remember mentioning that to him. You raised your chin. “It’s a matter of balance more than anything. And determination.” Or so you hoped; not that it mattered. It was this or the walk of shame.
Not on your watch.
“Sure sure,” Ranpo answered absently as he flipped his phone, a catchy melody spilling from it a moment later, a familiar rhythm game flashing briefly from what you could see on the screen.
You pursed your lips.
You looked down at the bike, trying to focus. Most things really did come down to a few simple truths– an insistent mindset and a healthy dose of delusion and you were good to go! Although, as you sat down, one leg tentatively balancing your weight, and Kunikida’s voice of stern encouragement in your head–he would do what he must for his responsibilities, truly a man to look up to–you stepped on the pedal and–
The bike swirled, your eyes widening in panic as you fought in that millisecond to regain balance. You heard a low wohoo from behind you even if Ranpo’s eyes were still glued to his phone. 
Yes, right. Determination.
It was almost like a mantra, one that sounded more and more exasperated in your head with every attempt at moving this damned bike. It just wouldn’t keep still. Clutching onto the handles for dear life made little to no difference in your fight against gravity. But your annoyed huffs and general aura of built-up exasperation did finally bring about something.
That is, Ranpo sighing dramatically before standing up. 
He leaned close, poking you in the shoulder. “That’s not how you do it, stupid.” 
You looked at him, forcing a face of serenity on your features. “I only need a bit of time.”
“I’m bored. Looking at you failing at basic physics made me hungry too.”
A thought popped into your mind. You smiled innocently. “Is that so?”
“Don’t try that with me.” He looked around, trying to mask the giddiness in his body before he spoke again. “My work is very tiring and I need my deserved downtime. With snacks provided.”
“But you’re not finished with work.”
“Helloo?” Ranpo waved his hand in your face. “Case closed, job done. And I already sent a text with some details while you were wriggling in the air like a sardine.” He pouted, crossing his hands. “What’s the point in talking to a bunch of old men about their job when I already did it for them.”
Kunikida had briefed you on this before. You knew perfectly well where this was going. 
“Ranpo,” you began, not letting his dejected puppy face sway you in the slightest. “It is in the best interest of the Agency that we proceed in a customary manner. If we wish to maintain the respect we’ve attained, then I will do what is–”
“They knew they couldn’t solve their case without me, though,” Ranpo stated matter of fact. Like it was common sense.
You blinked. “Yes, because of the ADA’s reputation–”
“Nuh-huh, not that. They know my reputation. Can’t help it, being the best that I am.”
“Ranpo, I can’t deny your immeasurable talents–” you could almost see his ears perk up at the compliment, “–but
 we still need to get there, they need to hear from yourself about everything. And impress them in person with your deductive prowess.”
You were grasping at anything at the moment. Convincing Ranpo was more concerning than the bike situation, and besides, multitasking was for losers. One victory at a time.
But it seemed to do the trick, at least a bit. Ranpo was far more receptive than earlier and with just the right amount of push
 a man with vanity was easy to spin around, although it leaves you with a bitter sense of disloyalty in the end.
“Hmm,” Ranpo hummed, eyeing up the bike behind you as his hand came up to his chin in thought. “You know we’ll definitely run over a car sooner or later. Or a poor grandma, they run about in the afternoons a lot.”
“Uuh,” you said, dumbly. Not like you could argue with that.
A silent pause of a few seconds, followed by a prolonged groan as Ranpo slacked his body forward.
“We’ll begin slow; I’m a quick learner if–”
Your words died in your throat as Ranpo all but heaved a great sigh and plopped himself on the bike seat. 
He threw a glance over his shoulder, “I’m doing this once and only once. And only after you agree to stop by a candy shop on the way.” He patted the remaining space behind him as you looked at him, surprise written on your face.
No way. No way was this man–this man who barely knew how to punch up the right buttons on the ticket machine thinking he’d be the one in the front.
“You know, I think it would be best if I was at the handles,” you started, earning a scoff from Ranpo.
“Sure, if you insist. Aaall the way from the back. And do the navigation; I still don’t know where we are right now.”
You came closer, still unsure. “Ranpo, don’t tell me you actually know how to ride a bike?”
“What kind of loser doesn’t learn it when they’re a kid,‘ he said, then cocked his head. “Besides you, I guess. Weren’t we in a hurry, by the way?”
You eyed Ranpo suspiciously. Although he was sitting with an air of confidence that could belong to someone who knew what they were doing.
Or he was just being Ranpo. 
Tentatively, you sat down in the space behind him, earning a finally from Ranpo as he faced forward. The remaining doubt in your mind all but exploded into a rush of panic and clutched hands in fabric as sudden wind engulfed you, the street you were in a messy blotch of colours as it flew by.
“Hey!” Ranpo shouted over his shoulder, wriggling. “It’s just a small slant, so stop clinging so much! Work on checking where that store is.”
You hadn’t realized you had all but glued yourself to Ranpo’s back, hands clutching the front of his vest like a lifeline. You tried loosening your grip, enough to give him some breathing space but ended up just wrapping them in a different position. Not a chance

“I am not taking out my phone, Ranpo. Please slow down. Please. Very please.”
“We’re almost down, it’s fine. I also don’t know where we’re going,” Ranpo said, glancing at you briefly. “Do you have motion sickness or something?”
You gritted your teeth. “No. I’m fine. Just don’t get us to the main road or I might really die–”
“No problem. No clue where that is.”
You sighed. Cars and traffic lights didn’t sound like they’d go well with you both right now. You could get by pretty okay with general directions, so you’d be fine so long as you kept away from any vehicles. An idea formed in your mind as Ranpo slowed down by the end of the road.
“Take a left here,” you said, calming your breathing. Ranpo nodded.
You got the hang of it by your third or fourth crossing, careful to keep by residential buildings rather than risk your luck. You knew you were heading in the right direction at least. You had silently hoped Ranpo would drop the candy shop idea, there was barely time for that, and it seemed the case he was more amused by chatting aimlessly as he pedalled along to your directions. You barely listened to him at the start but as the minutes went by you found yourself relaxing, bit by bit, his words serving as a distraction.
Knowing Ranpo, it might have been on purpose. Or not. He rarely cared for such things, but you still found yourself smiling gently at the possibility. He could be nice when he wants to. 
“Hey, where now? You look spacy back there, should I bring up the speed?” Ranpo asked, snorting at your quick stammer of absolutely not, don’t you dare, Ranpo!
Buildings and streets soon turned into nestled playgrounds amongst trees, and the number of benches with senior citizens gossiping about their day brought about a peaceful change of scenery as you entered one of the bigger parks. You breathed a sigh of relief. You were pretty near by now.
Ranpo whistled absently, looking about. “You know, just when I was thinking we’d spare the grandmas.”
You laughed despite yourself. “Okay okay, I’m sorry for panicking earlier. We’ve been doing pretty great so far, let’s keep it at that.”
“Hmm.” Ranpo stretched back, moving your body with his as you got a mouthful of hair in your face. “Only because I saved the day here. It’s exhausting being in the front.”
“Why, do you want to switch places?” You said, shaking his hair from your face.
The bike slowed down as Ranpo’s green eyes stared back at you. “Obviously. But that also means I’ll have to suffer the consequences. Don’t wanna.” He flopped back, fully resting against your front as he pouted. 
You weren’t used to that much proximity with him, but then again his disregard for personal space had always been pretty much there. “Just a bit more, we’re almost there, you know.”
“Bleh.”
“Come on, come on,” you said as you began poking him incessantly in the cheek. He batted your hand away and you laughed. “I promise I’ll know how to ride a bike in case of a next time.” 
Ranpo sighed dramatically, but picked up the speed. “I still haven’t forgotten about the snacks. You owe me, you know.”
You rolled your eyes. What a big baby. “Yep, they’ll be on me. So long as you get us on time.” You poked him again for emphasis. 
“Hey!” Ranpo grabbed your hand, drawing it back to its place around his torso. “And you stay there, sheesh.” 
You nestled back on his shoulder, hiding the grin spreading on your lips. He was pretty fun to tease. 
Ranpo eyed you, and then after a pause– “Meeting’s gonna be a bore. I’ll give 15 minutes tops and we’re out of there, you hear? That’d be enough for you to find a pastry nearby, right?”
“Wait, now?” You had thought more along the lines of ‘bring him some chocolates next time at work’ type of situation. This did catch you off guard. 
“Duh, and don’t lose the bike,” he said, matter of fact. “Might as well educate you on how not to run into trees. Or children.” That was accompanied by your yelp after a risky manoeuvre around a group of running children. 
This
 wasn’t something you expected. You tried to look closer at Ranpo’s face but he kept his gaze straight ahead, features neutral save for a light flush that had spread on his cheeks. He was rather handsome, now that you think about it. And as annoying as he could be, you found yourself wondering what else you could learn about him.
Life was about trying out things, wasn’t it? “If you make fun of me again I swear to you Ranpo Edogawa, I will eat all of the snacks I’m bringing.”
“Hey, now! That’s mean.”
“I’m paying for them, mister. You’ve been warned.”
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trophyprincess · 8 months ago
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Here are some tips that have helped me stay sane in the face of my body dysmorphia and disordered eating habits.
Positivity time! This one's for all the ladies out there struggling with their bodies.
Body dysmorphia causes changes to visual areas of the brain. Your brain is literally lying to you. You are hallucinating. No, seriously. This is SO SO IMPORTANT. Look, if you have an ED then chances are, you may very well have legitimate body dysmorphic disorder. Your brain may be warping and distorting the image in the mirror. It's why everyone around you keeps saying how thin you are, but all you can see in the mirror is flab. It's a neurophysiological thing. (Most of the literature on BDD seems to pertain to cases regarding the patient's facial features or similar, rather than in the context of body size in ED patients, though.)
One binge won't undo your progress. Everyone fucks up sometimes. Don't dwell, don't ruminate, just pick yourself up the next day and keep going! This applies to "binges" in the proper clinical sense, as well as 4n4 "binges" that are more aptly described as simply "overeating." I occasionally will give myself a "free day" once a month or so, or if it's a holiday or something.
If you fast and restrict, take a good multivitamin, plus a calcium supplement! I also take thiamine to be safe. Being thin and undereating are associated with osteoporosis risk later in life, so calcium is a must! You need to make sure you're getting all of the critical micronutrients your body needs to function.
Exercise, especially cardio, helps with dopamine regulation. I have industrial strength ADHD-PI, ymmv. I also find that exercise bike, walking, or even pacing constantly = STIMMY STIMMY STIM TIME STIMS, MUST STIM, MORE STIM, CANNOT BE STILL, FUCK YOUR QUIET HANDS. Again, ymmv, fuck quiet hands, all my ND homies hate quiet hands.
Strengthening/resistance exercises help prevent osteoporosis later in life. 20-30 minutes 3-5x/week of yoga or pilates is great for this!
THC gummies are pretty low calorie. Shoutout to drugs other than alcohol for not having calories! (I use cannabis and hallucinogens, not big on hard drugs though.)
If you do drink, there are low cal options, but please moderate and try to follow CDC guidelines and avoid frequent binge drinking!! Guys, susceptibility to addiction runs in families. Also, struggling with impulse control aspects of binging may cooccur sometimes with susceptibility to alcohol abuse and addiction. I like vodka with diet tonic water, gin and tonic with diet tonic water, and vodka cosmos with diet 5 cal cranberrry "juice!" White Claw and similar hard seltzers are also great. Personally, I avoid drinking alone, don't drink all that often, and take care to be responsible and cautious. Ymmv, especially if you're still in early adulthood and just now starting to really experiment with substances!
When you do eat, make sure to get enough protein and fats! Carbs, you can take or leave. No one ever died from lack of carbohydrates, oddly enough. Protein and fat, though? I've had seizures due to low blood protein (combined with an accidental double dose of bupropion, to be fair). Rabbit starvation is a thing. This is especially important to pay attention to if you're vegetarian or vegan! Egg whites, chicken, tuna and other fish, olives, chickpeas, nuts, and beans are all good low calorie sources of protein and fats. (Olives, legumes, and especially nuts are energy dense though, so moderation is key.)
Enjoy the nice, healthy, low calorie foods that you do eat. It's okay to enjoy food, even if it's safe foods like light salads or cauliflower rice with vegetables.
Seek out social support and harm reduction advice. One thing people overlook about the whole "pr0 4n4" thing is that these communities are key sources of social support and harm reduction information for people who struggle with EDs.
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