#also shout-out to the mother soothing her screaming baby by going ‘shh i know me too’

[bonewhiteglory]

delighted by the guy in the diagnostics waiting room who keeps saying things like “so basically they want me to go home, eat shit, and die?”

[arvinsescape]

Too busy.

A/N: I am so sorry this took a while to get out, but here it is! I hope you all enjoy, it is based off a request that @tomhollandlol sent me and I hope you also enjoy and thanks again for your patience. I did change a couple of things but stuck to the basic concept, I hope you don’t mind 💕

Request: Angst one shot, they have 2 kids together, different scenarios, he never pays attention and does something else and is always too busy.

Warnings: Bit of swearing, mentions of sex.

W/C: 4.2K

This last six months had been the hardest she’d ever had to go through, in her entire six years of marriage to Tom, this had been the hardest. Having two kids on top of that didn’t make it any easier, she felt alone, more alone than she had in her life, she was bringing up two children, seemingly on her own. Their eldest was almost four and their youngest was nine months old and teething, which meant she cried a lot.

Tom had been there for most of their journey, he shared the work load and it made life easier but this last six months haven’t ben the case. He became busier, he had two projects going at once and whilst she would happily make allowances for his career it was becoming too much for her. She hated the assumption that things should be easy because she was a stay-at-home mum but that was far from the truth. The children were so young that they needed her constant and undivided attention.

She was struggling to give two children her undivided attention and recently she’s become run down, completely running of fumes. She lives her life in a constant state of tired, she barely does a thing for herself, hell even a shower seemed like a hard task half of the time and Tom? Well half of the time she wasn’t a hundred per cent sure exactly what it was he was doing. She wondered how he hadn’t noticed, how he hadn’t seen the tiredness she constantly displayed.

Half of the mums at school had noticed, she saw it in their looks of pity when she arrived with her son, looking run down and disheveled because she couldn’t make herself look presentable. She didn’t have the time because either her baby would need something or her four-year-old which left no time for herself in a morning.

“Tom?” She shouted as she bounced Ava on her hip.

“Yeah?” He shouted back from where ever he was in the house.

“Can I get your help please?”

“Y/N, I’m busy.”

“You’re always busy.” She muttered to herself as she gave up and tried to soothe Ava on her own whilst making Noah’s lunch.

**

“Tom, I’ve just cleaned there.” She spoke, almost in disbelief as she watched her husband place his golf clubs in the middle of the hall.

“I’ll move them in a bit.” He shrugged. “I need to read over some stuff.” He said as he wandered down the hall and into his office. She couldn’t help herself as she flipped him off on his way, thankful he couldn’t see.

**

“Tom? Is there any chance you can take Noah to school tomorrow? I need to take Ava to an appointment and I don’t wanna be late again.”

“I can’t darling, I’m busy.” He answered, eyes on his laptop.

“Tom, please? I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” She tried and Tom looked up at her.

“Y/N/N, I am really busy right now. Just take Noah into school earlier and then you won’t be late.” He said and she looked at him in disbelief.

“Right, yeah, okay.” She huffed and left his office, shutting the door with enough force to let him know she was upset with him.

**

“Daddy! Look what I did.” Noah screamed as he made his way through the door.

“I’ll have a look in a bit my love, I’m busy at the moment.” Tom answered and their son huffed in response.

**

“Daddy!” Noah shouted as he ran into his father’s open arms. “Can we go for ice-cream?” He asked excitedly.

“Ask mummy, I have some work to do.” Tom said and Noah visibly deflated.

“She already said no, she’s too tired.” Noah mocked his mother’s voice.

“Well I expect she is tired.” Tom said, they never bad mouthed each other in front of the children. It wasn’t something either of them did.

“Why? She doesn’t work.” Noah folded his arms over his chest and Tom looked at him in a scalding manner.

“That’s not nice. Your mummy works really hard to make sure everything and everyone is okay. Don’t talk about her like that.”

“But she doesn’t do anything. She looks after us, my friends mummy works and she’s fine. Everyone at school has said it, she has nothing to be tired about, that’s what my friend’s mummy’s say.” Noah huffed, he had a bit of a temper streak. Tom’s heart plummeted, where people really shit talking his wife? To the point his son had become subject to it.

“That’s enough now Noah.” Tom said as he set his son down.

“Whatever. You’re always too busy and mummy’s always too tired. You’re both boring.” He snapped before running into his bedroom and slamming the door. This made Tom’s heart shatter, they were both trying to do the right thing. Tom really contemplated his life choices and in hind sight he wished he’d done something sooner, especially with the conversation he was about to have that evening.

**

“Tom, you are never here.” She exclaimed, a small comment having sparked an argument that had her struggling to keep her voice down.

“I’m busy. Look in a couple of months I’ll be here.” He said and she huffed folding her arms over her chest.

“You’re always busy Tom. I can’t remember the last time you put us first.”

“I’m doing this so I can take some more time off, Y/N, I don’t wanna be that guy but I earn the money, I can’t just stop working.” He snapped and she felt her anger rise in response.

“That’s bullshit,” she hissed out and he was taken aback by her tone. “You were in some of the biggest movies going a few years back. We are not struggling for money, that is some bullshit excuse for the fact that you’re not around.” She hissed, voice laced in nothing but venom.

“Look, I have a week off starting tomorrow, I don’t need to be anywhere and I won’t have any responsibilities, I can help.” He offered and she sighed, anger leaving her with nothing but defeat.

“I hope so.” She shrugged and Tom looked at her carefully.

“What do you mean?” He asked, there was something in her tone that scared him.

“I mean,” she sighed. “I can’t keep doing this, I’m tired and I need more from you.” She didn’t sound angry just tired and Tom felt his heart drop.

“Meaning?” He asked tentatively.

“Meaning, I can’t carry on doing this and next time it’s going to be a very different conversation. A conversation about us that I really don’t want to have but it’s come to that.” She sighed out before turning on her heel and leaving Tom with his thoughts. His heart shattered, had he really been so neglectful?

Tom was free for a week, which helped slightly because their son was always itching to spend time with his father. She thought this would mean that she got a little respite after their conversation the previous night but that’s not how it panned out.

“Y/N?” Her husbands voice echoed through the halls and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his tone. She shouted back her location within the house and few seconds later he appeared. “I need you to look after Noah.” He said, their son hot on his heels, she furrowed her brows.

“Why?” She couldn’t help but asked and Tom gave her a sympathetic look.

“I need to get some of this work done and as much as I love him he’s distracting me.” Tom spoke and she couldn’t help but huff, it was always something.

“I thought you were off this week?” She couldn’t help but ask, tone clipped and she instantly regretted using it in front of Noah.

“I was but then my agent emailed this morning and I now have a load of work to do.” He said, there was a sadness laced in his tone but she didn’t care. She passed him feeling bad about it, she needed him to put them first and recently he hasn’t.

“Fine, whatever.” She grumbled out a response and Tom felt awful, he could see how tired she was, he wouldn’t deny that. But these two projects were taking over and he felt just as tired trying to keep up. To anyone else looking in they would have said the couple needed to sit down and have a chat but of course relationships are more complex than that and the couple were still waiting to have said chat.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Tom spoke and she sighed.

“It’s whatever Tom. He has some schoolwork he should be doing anyway.” She said, tone defeated and Tom sighed before nodding and making his way back into his office. He wanted to say something but he was afraid to start an argument in front of the children, the two had agreed that their arguments would be kept private, the children didn’t need to know about them.

She spent the afternoon trying to split herself between helping Noah with his math’s work and Ava with her teething. Noah was a bright child when it came to English and Art but Math’s? He was no good at and required a lot of help. She found herself growing frustrated the more she went through the work, she felt guilty but she was so tired she couldn’t help it.

“No, Noah. I’ve shown you this now. Come on, you need to work with me.” She said and instantly regretted the words.

“Mummy, I am trying but I don’t get it.” Noah said back as Ava burst into another flood of tears. She jumped up from her seat, Noah making a noise of annoyance at her actions. She scooped Ava into her arms and rocked her, it was making no difference, the ache in the child’s gum causing ample discomfort.

“Ava come on, shh, it’s okay. Calm down.” She said as she hastily scanned the living room in search of her teething ring. Her eyes landing on the object and she hastily picked it up before handing it to her daughter. She placed the ring in her mouth and instantly her screams calmed to small cries. Once she was settled enough, Y/N placed her back in her high chair and proceeded to help Noah.

She was tired by the end of the evening, her only job being left was to put Noah to bed and he just wouldn’t settle either. He wasn’t great at bed times, he was an alert child who found it hard to switch off for the day.

“Mummy, can we please have another story?” He asked and she felt herself deflate, all she wanted was to have a bath and go to bed.

“But sweetheart, I’ve already read two.” She tried to reason and Noah threw his book onto the floor which made her sigh out as she retrieved it.

“Please mummy? I’m not even tired, can’t I just play with my toys?” He asked, arms folded across his chest and she wasn’t prepared for what was to come next, signs of his temper tantrum approaching and fast.

“No sweetheart, you have school tomorrow.” She sighed out and she watched as her sons face turned into a rather sour expression.

“So? I’m not tired. How can I sleep if I’m not tired? You’re supposed to read to me.” He said and she sighed.

“Baby, mummy’s tired herself okay.” She said, she really didn’t have it in her to stay awake much longer.

“Then get daddy to read to me.” He huffed and she nodded before standing up and making her way into her husbands office, a soft knock pulling him from his work.

“Come in.” Tom’s voice spoke, eyes still trained on his emails.

“Tom? Can you read to Noah please?” She asked, hopefulness lacing her voice, her husbands eyes finding her tired ones. There was something about the way she looked tonight, the way she looked like she was struggling to keep herself stood that reality hit the man hard.

“Of course baby.” Tom said as he stood and he didn’t miss the flash of shock grace his wife’s face. He felt immensely guilty, he hadn’t been there for past six months and he could see what that was doing to her. “Have you eaten?” Tom asked and she shrugged.

“Bits but I’m not hungry.” She said as she rubbed at her red and tired eyes. Tom felt like an utter dick, he’d taken on too much and left his wife to pick up the pieces.

“You should eat.” Tom said and she shrugged.

“I just want to go to bed Tom.” She whispered out and he nodded in response before making his way over to her and kissing her forehead before pulling her into a hug.

“Then go sleep love. I’ve got Noah.” He spoke and she felt relieved, completely and utterly relieved, she didn’t even want the bath anymore, that could wait until tomorrow. She didn’t miss the excitement in her sons voice as Tom made his way into his room and she smiled before practically face planting the bed and falling asleep.

**

It was eight o clock in the morning when she woke, she felt sluggish as she grabbed for her phone and looked at the time. Heart beat picking up far too quickly for her bodies tired state.

“Shit.” She exclaimed as she rushed out of bed and into Noah’s room, only to find the bed empty. “Noah?” She shouted as she ran down the stairs, her mind was racing, she was running late. How had she slept for so many hours? And how had it gone interrupted?

“In here mummy.” Noah shouted back as she raced into the living room.

“I’m sorry, I’m up, I just need to get changed and then we can set off for school.” She rambled as ran into the kitchen to sort out his breakfast.

“Darling, slow down.” She heard Tom’s voice and she spun around to look at her husband, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a slight mess. How could he still look so good? She wished she could look as good as he did, even tired.

“What?” She looked around the kitchen, evidence that Noah had already had his breakfast. His school bag filled with the books for the day and his packed lunch.

“I’m gonna take him in. Go and chill out.” He spoke as he pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you.” She sighed and Tom nodded.

“I’ll take Ava and then you can get some rest if you need it, I’ll be back soon. I’ll do the shopping, should be an hour or so.” Tom spoke and her heart soared at his words.

“Did Ava sleep through?” She asked, realizing she’d not been woken up by her crying last night.

“Yeah, a few times. I slept in there, wanted you to catch up on some sleep.” He admitted and she could have cried with the happiness the revelation brought her. “We need to talk when I get home.” He spoke and she nodded. “Okay, well I’ll see you in an hour.” He said and she nodded before kissing her son good bye and making him promise to behave.

**

An hour and a half later and she’d had a relaxing bath, one that she was more than thankful and ready for. She’d even managed to have a hot cup of tea, a stark difference to the cold ones she was used to. She’d even managed to read a chapter of her new book, she still felt like she could sleep for a while but overall relaxed and content.

“Hey.” Tom said as he leant against the doorway to their bedroom. She placed her book down and looked at him.

“Hey,” she said somewhat awkwardly, she wasn’t sure how this conversation was about to go.

“I’ve just put Ava down, will probably give us a good hour or so.” He spoke and she nodded. “So,” he sighed. “We should talk.” He continued and she nodded again, words not being able to find her, she needed to know how he feeling, what he was going to say first.

“I’m sorry, I want you to know that. I’ve been so wrapped up in what I’ve been doing that I haven’t noticed what I was doing to you. I’m so used to you being the one who has everything together, who know exactly what to do that I thought you didn’t need my help as much as you do.” He started and she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out before he beat her to it.

“I know that’s not an excuse, it’s poor on my behalf and I’m sorry. You and the children, you mean everything to me. All I want in life is for you guys to get everything you want and need and I’m sorry that I’ve been the way that I have, there are no excuses.” He said and she felt her heart lift, the two could fix this, fix what has been happened. “But I need something from you.” He spoke and she furrowed her brows as she waited for him to continue.

“I need you to be honest, I need you to tell me what it’s been like to be you. I don’t want you to spare my feelings, I want you to let it all out. I’m listening now, darling, I need to know what this has done to you, how I can make it right.” He said and she nodded slightly before sitting up in bed properly, her back against the head board as she carefully played with her wedding ring. Tom sat carefully on the edge of the bed, he needed to hear what she was about to say.

“Tom, you’ve just not been here.” She started with her biggest problem. “Even when you are in the house it’s like you just expect me to do everything. You expect your clothes to be washed, dried and ironed, you expect your dinner on the table and I never used to mind. You would always say thank you but recently you haven’t and it made me wonder whether or not you just expect it of me, that it’s my job.” She started and Tom kept quiet, he wanted her to continue.

“Tom, you used to be so attentive.” She said as she reached over and took his hand in her own. “You always used to be here, know when I needed help without having to ask. I don’t mind doing all of those things for you, I really don’t but when you don’t get a thanks it feels a little like you’re being used.” She continued and his heart shattered, he would never intentionally use her, he loved her, loved his family.

“That brings me onto the kids, Tom they need so much attention. They want me to split myself in two half of the time and I can’t, it’s impossible. They both need so much from me and given Ava teething I don’t even get a full night’s sleep. I am constantly trying to run off energy that I just don’t have. It wasn’t so bad when Noah was a baby, we took shifts, you helped. Recently though Tom, it’s been me that gets up and tends to her, me that sacrifices sleep.”

“I know that might sound selfish but when you have a partner, a husband who’s supposed to help with all that it gets tiresome. I found myself getting so angry with you, I wanted to be you, I wanted to bury my head in paperwork and think of nothing else. There were days when I honestly wanted nothing to do with you, I didn’t want to be around you because everything little thing you did angered me.”

“I’ve been so tired, my mind is never where it should be. I’m always doing stupid things because I’m so tired. I never feel like I get anything back from you. I’m too tired to have an evening to myself when they have gone to sleep, I just want to sleep myself. I’m always running around after them, something you barely do anymore, sure you play with them but when was the last time you had to deal with one of Noah’s meltdowns?”

“I get that you have a lot on, I get that two projects keep you busy and if we didn’t have kids it wouldn’t affect me as much but we do and it does. I need you to be there for me Tom, I can’t keep doing this alone, I can’t.” She ended her rant and Tom felt awful, he was so angry with himself, she didn’t even sound angry anymore. She sounded like she’d accepted it and she was just tired with the situation, somehow he wishes she was screaming at him right now.

“I’m sorry princess. There are no words, no excuses for what I’ve done. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, it was never my intention. You mean the world to me, you and the kids. Things are gonna change, I promise.” Tom said, he knew now that actions spoke louder than words, it wasn’t what she wanted him to say it was what she wanted him to do.

“On top of all of that Tom, I can’t remember the last time we did anything as a couple. Most of the time I’m asleep when you get to bed, I can’t remember the last time we touched each other, it’s just draining. It all adds up.”

“I know darling. I promise things are gonna change. Why don’t you pick a film and I’ll be back in a minute?” He said and she nodded as she flicked the TV on and got herself comfortable in bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a day in bed. Tom returned almost ten minutes later and she wondered where he had gotten to.

“Where did you end up?” She asked as he made his way into the bedroom, two bottles of water in hand.

“Well, I grabbed these, I made sure Ava was still okay and the baby monitor is working properly and I had to send a couple of emails.” He admitted and her heart dropped, after everything she’d just said? He took in her expression as he placed the water down and jumped into bed with her. “Not like that darling, I’ve passed one of my projects onto Harrison and Harry, they’re gonna finish it up.” He said and she relaxed. “I promised things will change and they will.”

**

“Daddy!” Noah shouted as he ran to his father, who was there at the school gate to pick him up, Y/N right there next to him. It had been a while since they both picked him up. Ava was a little more settled today which made things a little easier.

“How was school?” Tom asked enthusiastically and then almost cried when he realised how long it had been since he asked that question.

“Amazing!” Noah gushed as he looked at his mother. “Mummy, you look so pretty.” He spoke and she laughed.

“She always looks pretty.” Tom defended her and Noah nodded.

“Yeah, but she looks extra pretty today.” Noah said. It had been a while since she was able to put effort into her appearance and she felt better for doing it. Even if it was only a nicely picked out outfit and tamed hair. “Can we go for ice cream?”

“You my boy have an obsession.” Tom laughed as he poked his son playfully. “But yeah, I think that’ll be a good idea.” Tom said as he looked to his wife who nodded in response. She didn’t miss the looks of jealousy thrown her way when they saw her with Tom.

“So what did you do this afternoon?” Noah asked his parents as he was being strapped into the back of the car.

“We watched a film.” Tom stated, it was an absolute lie, they’d gotten half an hour into the film before Tom had his head between his wife’s legs. It had been a while since they’d done anything like that and when they both realised that fact. When they both realised how long it had truly been since they’d done anything, they spent most of the afternoon catching up with each other’s bodies. In between tending to their baby of course, they both felt energized after their endeavors between the sheets.

“Was it good?”

“Absolutely amazing.” Y/N answered as Tom slipped into the driver’s seat, she took his hand in hers as she held it in her lap.

“Can we watch another film when we get home?” Noah asked excitedly.

“Sure, how about we go and spend the afternoon doing something fun and then we can go out for tea, go home and watch a film?” Tom suggested and Noah fist bumped the air.

“Yes! Does this mean you two aren’t going to be boring now?” Noah asked and Y/N and Tom found themselves laughing.

“Yes, this means we aren’t going to be boring anymore.”

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Please write more about the relationship between Donna, Alcina and the girls.

They are so sweet together.

“Shh, bumblebee...”

Donna’s soothing voice shivered through the cold air of the chapel.

“Shh, it’s alright...”

Though it was the beginning of fall and the temperatures were slowly beginning to decrease, there was something warm about her words, almost like painless fire.

“It’s going to be okay...”

It almost distracted them all from the sound of shouting and screaming from outside.

“Your mother is strong,” Donna said, looking down at the trembling girl curled beside her with her head in her lap. She delicately ran nimble fingers through long red hair. “It will be alright.”

“Yeah!” Angie piped up from where she was being squeezed tightly by Cassandra. “She’ll kill them— Ack!! I see you inherited her strength, Cass...”

“Promise?” Daniela looked up at Donna, her heterochromic eyes shining with nervous tears.

“I promise.”

And then, there was a thundering boom from outside, so powerful it managed to shake the entire chapel they were taken refuge in. A light sprinkling of debris and dust dislodged from the ceiling and rained over their heads. Daniela burst into sobs all over again and Cassandra tightened her grip on Angie so much it was a wonder the doll didn’t shatter into thousands of pieces. The third Dimitrescu daughter was rigid by the doorway.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Donna said to Daniela. “Shh, bumble, it’s alright. It’s probably nothing.” She looked up. “Bela, get away from the door. Come over here.”

“No,” Bela said. “I have to wait for her. What if something went wrong? What if she was in that blast? I should go help her!”

“No,” Donna would have stood up if it weren’t for the crying girl clutching onto her. “I was instructed to watch you and that is what I am going to do, now please get away from the doors and sit down. You’re beginning to worry me.”

“Oh, I’m worrying you?” Bela snapped. “My mother, YOUR SISTER, is out there fighting and we’re stuck in here hiding like mice! We— we should be helping her! I should be helping her! I— If anything happened to her, I...”

Donna could see all the awful outcomes to the villagers’ attack on the Cadou meeting running frantically though Bela’s head. This little one never seemed to not be anxious. It had to become tiring after awhile.

“Bela,” Donna injected soothingness into her next words. “Little moth. It’s going to be alright. I know you want to help, but your mother also wants you to stay in here. She wants you to be safe. Do you know how distressed she would be if something happened to you?”

Bela opened her mouth, then closed it, looking down with clenched fists.

“Come, little moth,” Donna opened one arm. “Sit down and breathe. We will wait this out together.”

Bela hesitated, then obliged, turtling against Donna’s other side. Donna held her securely with her arm. Cassandra scooted over to join the huddle, Angie still clutched in a tight embrace.

Together, they all waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until, finally, the door creaked open and a figure emerged.

A figure much larger to be a human being.

“Darlings? Donna? Angie?”

Alcina appeared through the dust, looking worse for wear and covered in a fire layer of ash, but alive and kicking.

Daniela bolted from Donna’s side instantly, throwing herself into Alcina’s arms, shortly followed by Cassandra. Alcina grunted softly, then returned the embrace, murmuring about how happy she was to see them all safe and how worried she had been.

Bela was rigid at Donna’s side.

“I told you,” Donna smiled. “Go on.”

Bela ran to her mother.

“Oh, my babies,” Alcina said, holding the three bug-spawn. “Oh, my sweet, sweet girls... I’m so happy you’re all safe. Oof— and hello, Angie. Good to see you alive, too.”

“You called my name when you came inside!” Angie said, clinging to one of Alcina’s legs. “You care about me!”

“Hmph,” Alcina merely said. Her eyes slid over to Donna hanging back. She smiled and opened an arm.

Donna joined them happily.

[subbing-for-clones]

The New Apprentice Part 2

Maul x Sith!Reader 

WARNINGS: attempted rape, violence, fluff

Word Count: 2.7k

PREVIOUS         NEXT          MASTERLIST

                Weeks had passed since you had impressed your master with the taming of two Rancor and the killing of one. It was also the last day you had impressed him. Coming to the realization that you were in fact an incredibly gifted force user, you left much to be desired when it came to your saber skills despite being well versed in hand-to-hand combat and the use of other weapons. He hadn't even trained you himself yet, leaving Savage to help you with the basic forms. You were getting better but your master had told you he wouldn't spar with you until you could best his brother.

    The two of you clashed your weapons together in the morning chill after your daily strength training. You were faster but he was stronger and had more practice. "You're blocking your mind little one," Savage instructed. "Use your foresight." He was heaving and you swore his eyes were clouding. Maul watched with his hands behind his back. Savage's eyes fluttered and he shook his head growling for a moment. He charged you but before he could collide, you stepped to the side, jumping up and giving him a strong spin kick to the head. Your attack was successful to a point, you impaled your foot on one of his horns.

    Not allowing yourself to cry out you took advantage of his stumble and attacked again, kicking him straight in the chest, forcing his body to collapse. He lay still under your foot, the tip of your saber inches from his face. Maul called out to you both.

"Well done. As usual, I have notes but you may congratulate yourself on your first win." Smiling confidently, you sheathed your weapon, removed your foot and extended your hand to the man you had grown close with.

    You and Savage became fast friends, you made him laugh hard with your quick wit and rather goofy sense of humor while he reassured you when you were feeling in over your head. He was much kinder than his appearance led most to believe. This fact alone was proof he had lived a very different life than that of his brother. He smiled up at you with pride as he took your hand but that smile disappeared quickly.

    His pupils dilated, his breath quickened and a deep groan you hadn't heard before erupted from his chest. Grinding his teeth, the grip on your hand tightened. Maul sensed what was going on and quickly strode over. Before he could reach you Savage pulled you down to him. He rolled so you were beneath him, caged by his massive body. You didn't recognize the eyes that he bore into yours. Usually soft and smooth like honey, now burned like hot twin suns.

    Before he could rip away your tunic Maul extended his hand and force pulled you over to him. Savage didn't hesitate to give chase roaring in frustration. Maul defensively wrapped an arm around your waist and twisted his body slightly so he stood between the two of you. He pulled you tightly to him and ignited his weapon to protect you from the monster his brother had become. Maul was fuming, teeth bared and snarling. His grip around you was bruising as if trying to pull you into himself. It was impossible not to smell him, that smokey, woody, sweet musk you had come to secretly favor and be comforted by. Distracted for only a second you snapped out of it. Fear taking over your body again at the sight of Savage who had devolved to an enraged animal.

    These were not the men you had come to know and admire. They were wild beasts. Your master murmured aggressively, "Savage... brother... control yourself." Giving him a chance. Ignoring his brother's warning Savage ignited his own weapon and lunged towards you. Blocking it with ease, Maul relinquished his hold around you and pushed you fully behind him keeping himself between you and Savage.

    You sat in disbelief at the events that unfolded in front of you. The two brothers raged against one another in a flurry of quick blows and ferocious roars. You ran towards the rancor you had ended up keeping and watched the battle from his back. You rubbed his head to sooth your frightened nerves as you took in the battle. Savage was sloppy but powerful and Maul was calculated, trying not to harm his brother permanently. They clashed until Maul landed a blunt blow with the hilt if his saber to Savage's jaw; knocking him unconscious. He wasted no time and hurriedly loaded his form onto the ship before addressing you.

"Stay with your beast, I will return to you before the day is over. Do not leave this place." He shouted, eyes damn near vibrating out of his head with fury. You nodded and watched as he flew off but not up to space rather, over somewhere.

 ~~~~~

      Maul could feel your heart break from the cockpit as he took flight. It was a pain he swore to himself you wouldn't have to feel as his apprentice. Betrayal. Destruction of trust, a pain he had known time and time again. An unnecessary one. He glared at his brother's unconscious body. It wasn't entirely his fault. He had been thrown head first into a powerful heat cycle. It was however his fault that he couldn't control it long enough to tell him so he could get him away from you. He wouldn't have let you spar him if he had known this was coming. An already physical and intimate act fueled his hormones. He cursed himself for putting you in that kind of harm’s way.

    Maul reached his destination. Out of the fog he could see Mother Talzin standing tall, as if awaiting their arrival. He greeted her first as Savage was still unconscious. She extended her arms toward Maul and spoke with an eerie vibrato.

"My son. I see you are in need of some assistance with your brother."

"Yes mother, he is experiencing an unusually brutal cycle and attacked our new companion. May I leave him in your and the sisters’ care."

"But of course. I'm sure there is a sister or two that would accept him in this state."

Nodding, Maul brought out his brother to find one of the pale sisters garbed in red already awaiting them with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"He will be delivered when his time is done." The sister hissed. "I sense this will be a long bout for him." Maul nodded hesitantly and left just as brother was waking up. The last thing he saw was Savage grab the woman before he disappeared.

His brow creased, eager to get back to you and assure himself that you were alright.

    When he arrived back at camp in the forest, he took a deep breath and disembarked. If the circumstances were different, he would have smiled at you. Your rancor was laying down with its enormous head on your legs, growling affectionately. With one hand you stroked what you could reach of its mighty jaw. You had pulled the hem of your master's tunic you still wore over your nose inhaling his scent deeply. You had tried to wash his smell out of it but never could, now you were thankful for that small detail. It comforted you in this moment while you told yourself not to cry. Sith don't cry.

Maul approached you treading lightly not knowing how to breech this conversation.

"My dear..."

   The rancor lifted his head snarling viciously at your master. He raised his brow as you slowly stood and placed both of your hands on the monster's face giving it an affectionate smooch. "Shh shh it's alright my sweet baby Angel." You cooed and hugged the beast you had hilariously named 'Angel'. Well, you and Savage thought it was funny at the time. You frowned at the memory but your tenderness appeased Angel. He laid his head back down and you turned to face your Master with shame. His heart panged as you wouldn't meet his eye for a moment.

"Please Y/N..." he begged. He didn't use your name often, usually referring to you simply as 'apprentice' or the ever-occasional changing pet names in more casual moments.

"That wasn't your fault. I'm sorry Savage attacked you. The nightsisters are taking care of him." You finally met his gaze with a snap at the sound of that. "You left him with them, after what they did to him?" Maul was surprised you came to his brother's defense.

"I assure you he gave no protest." Not realizing that his brother had confided in you. "And that he would rather be with them than to hurt you."

"I'm not ignorant." You interjected. "I read about Dathomirians on the holo-net shortly after coming here. I know he's in his heat cycle I just didn't... I didn't..."

"Expect it to be so violent?" Maul offered.

"Yeah... is it going to be like that every time? Are you going to get like that?" Your fists clenched and tears gathered on the bottom of your lashes but once again you fought them. Maul could feel your rage burning inside you like a furnace. He seethed at the idea of someone taking you like that. Let alone his own brother's intoxicated attempt.

    Maul extended his hand out to you. Remembering how closely he held you. How ruthlessly he defended and protected you, you took his hand and allowed him to pull you closer.

"If you know what the nightsisters did to him then you know he was gruesomely altered against his will... What you witnessed tonight is not how it usually is. It is controllable and I swear on my life I will never harm you in that way. I will separate him from us next time before it takes hold; I promise you. Please believe me."

    You looked into your master's eyes not knowing what to make of the care, of the softness he was showing you. He has never been cruel but ever so distant, professional even. He’s being so kind, so tender with you; his eyes screaming desperately for you to believe him.

"I believe you master."

    With an audible sigh of relief, he looked down and was reminded how you had wounded your foot during your fight. "I think we should take the rest of the day, get some food in you and get that cleaned."

"That sounds good."

    You turned around and limped your way back to a worried Angel, whispering something inaudible to your master's ears. The beast grunted in understanding and gave you a light bump with its head that almost sent you flying but did make you laugh. You watched as he walked off into the forest, disappearing into the fog.

    Maul guided you back to the ship with his hand on your lower back and into the fresher. He sat you down and knelt, taking the ankle of your injured foot delicately in his hand and dabbed a warm wet rag on it. You tried your best to stifle the blush but to no avail. He could feel your pulse quicken but didn't sense that it was fear so he ignored it.

"What was it that you said to the beast?"

Trying to lighten the mood you smiled, "His name is Angel." You stated matter-of-factly. "I could tell he was getting hungry so I told him to go hunt. I'm sure he will be back by morning." Maul contemplated what you said while diligently and softly tending your wound.

"I know I asked you to bring me a rancor but... why do you keep it around?"

    You thought about your answer for a moment because you felt like it would lead to another question. You decided to dive head first into the conversation.

"He's a good boy. When I found him he was in pain. I didn't understand how but I knew the other one caused him distress so to get them both to follow me back here I told them each I'd kill the other. I lied to one and told the truth to my Angel. I didn't 'force tame' them. I connected with them. Now he feels safe around me. Besides," you continued. "I like his company while I meditate."

    Maul thought about what you said and chuckled in a low tone. "For a Sith apprentice you sure do have a soft side. How do you manage that and keep such a strong connection to the darkness?"

    He lifted and examined the rest of your exposed leg to check for any other scratches. Your blush slightly deepened. "I'm not sure you want the answer to that question."

"Well, my curiosity was piqued but now I'm intrigued... Go on."

"I've felt the pull of the dark side of the force as long as I can remember and although my rage and fear did fuel it, so did my love, my determination, and in more ways than one, my utter joy." You paused because Maul had stopped and was looking at you. You continued, "as long as I've been able to feel it, it never felt evil or like hatred. It felt like passion. A blinding, all consuming passion and will to live on so I could feel more of it and everything that came with."

    That was not an answer that Maul had expected but he thought he understood. It was different for him but he accepted your answer and replied, "so that's why the jedi wouldn't take you and possibly why it's so strong within you. Every emotion you have fuels your power whether it's a positive one or a negative one... fascinating." He continued to wrap your foot while you stayed silent. "I'm not sure I've ever done anything kind."

   This statement caused you to burst into laughter. He gave you a confused and inquisitive look. "You do realize that while you say that you're tending my wound despite the fact that I could've done that myself easily. You also... oh I don't know... rescued me from slavery and protected me from Savage during his hormonal rampage. You've been incredibly kind.... at least in my opinion... you make me feel safe master... safer than I have in quite some time..."

Maul silently gulped, fighting the heat that spread across his cheeks. It was the only time in his life he was specifically thankful that his skin was crimson.

      Everything you had said to him that night continued to ring in his mind to the point he was tossing and turning. Knowing he wouldn't find sleep he made his way to the common room for a glass of water. That's where he found you, wrapped in his long black hooded cloak asleep in one of the chairs. He stared at you dumb-founded. Here was this beautiful woman, dressed in his tunic, wearing his cloak because he made her feel safe. Fuck he thought. She probably didn't want to sleep above Savage's bed tonight.

    He tried to think of something to do. He didn't really want to leave you there on the chair so he made a rash decision. He scooped you up into his arms and carried you to his bedroom. His hearts raced when you buried your face into his neck in your sleep. He laid you down as softly as he could and pulled the thin blanket over you.

    He crawled onto his side and lay facing away from you. Unease in his belly, wondering if you'd be angry at his purposeful attempt to be soothing. He closed his eyes and heard your voice in his mind. ‘You saved me... You've been incredibly kind... you make me feel safe.’ He never thought anyone could think like that about him. He rolled over and cautiously snaked his arm around your middle. To his secret delight he felt you wiggle back against him and murmur, "thank you master." Before your slow breathing continued signaling your fast return to sleep.

    Perhaps just for tonight he'd let himself enjoy something. He gripped you tighter and buried his face in your hair. Hoping against hope and all reason that somehow the sun wouldn't rise in the morning and he could stay like this as long as possible.

[megalony]

Open your eyes

This is a dad! Harry Styles imagine that I hope everyone is going to enjoy, there is a tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem​ @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid​ @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me​ @peterquillzsblog​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg

Masterlist

Summary: When their boys start fighting and one of them gets a rather bad injury, (Y/n) and Harry have to take him to the hospital where they get recognised.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An unconscious smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips when she heard the all too familiar voice of her husband singing away, presumably to Lilah considering it was Only Angel he was singing and that was the song he always sang for their daughter.

His voice started to get closer and his melody sung through the kitchen as (Y/n) lifted her eyes from the plate she was washing to glance out the window in front of her to check on the boys. She couldn't help but roll her eyes when she caught sight of Alex and Carter squabbling. They never seemed to need a reason to have a fight or bicker like an old married couple and (Y/n) knew that most siblings didn't get along well at the best of times but she had hoped the twins would at least get along but they couldn't seem to be able to.

"They're at it again." (Y/n) sighed through her words as she turned her head to look at Harry over her shoulder. Her eyes followed him as he moved to sit down at the round kitchen table, settling Lilah properly on his lap so the seven-month-old was leaning her back up against his chest.

Harry's singing momentarily stopped and his head lifted up so he could try and peer out of the kitchen window but he didn't really need to see the boys since he could hear their voices getting louder and louder by the second. The couple knew well enough to know that they could leave the twins to argue or squabble for a while before having to intervene. It got to a certain point and they both knew when that point was which told them to separate the boys.

Harry silently shook his head at (Y/n) before he looked down at his girl and gently started to bounce her up and down on his lap to hear her giggle.

"I told you to leave those." Anne's stern yet defeated tone caused Harry to smile when he caught (Y/n)'s eye who simply smiled.

"You cooked dinner, the least I can do is help you clean up." (Y/n) and Harry had an unspoken rule when they were at home, if one of them cooked then the other would do the dishes and clean up because it only seemed fair that way. They were round at Harry's mother's house for dinner today and she had cooked without letting them intervene or help, mostly because Harry took over the kitchen when he was cooking. She shouldn't have to do the dishes as well.

Quite by chance, (Y/n) tilted her head up to look out of the window again when she heard Alex shouting something but when her eyes locked on her boys, it felt like her heart had dropped to her stomach like a stone falling to the bottom of the ocean. It felt like she couldn't breathe when she watched Alex ball his hand up into a fist and smash his hand into the side of Carter's head causing him to stumble.

The plate in (Y/n)'s hands dropped down into the sink but the clattering noise of the plate pivoting into the silver sink didn't reach (Y/n)'s ears over the deafening white noise she could hear.

(Y/n) could feel her lungs shrivelling up into nothing in her chest when she watched helplessly as one of her boys fell so harshly and quickly that his head smacked into the concrete verge that merged onto the grass the other twin was still standing on. It was as if the fall happened in slow motion, (Y/n) could see the fright in her boy's eyes and the way his head bounced off the floor before thumping back down and staying there. The moment his head fell down again, his body went motionless and flopped like a rag doll against the concrete.

(Y/n) felt like screaming but the only noise that seemed to leave her lips was a desperate choking sound like the oxygen in the air had evaporated and she was clawing for air.

"(Y/n)? (Y/n) what's happened?" Harry's head whipped round to look at (Y/n)'s horror-stricken face before she was suddenly bolting for the back door and stumbling down the small step to get out into his mother's garden.

Unsure what was happening, Harry stood up quickly before he leaned over so that his mother could take Lilah from him to let him go and find out what was happening. A worried look passed between him and Anne before he thundered through the kitchen and out into the garden after (Y/n) but the moment Harry looked at the scene in front of him, he couldn't breathe.

The look on Harry's face was indescribable when his eyes found Carter laying motionless on the floor with a small streak of blood beneath his head and his twin stood three feet away with tears streaming down his face and his body also motionless with shock.

(Y/n) wasted no time in falling to her knees, not caring how the gravel and stones grated against her skin as she shuffled closer to one of her boys. Her hands started to shake as she reached out cautiously for Carters's head, trying to be as gentle as she could when turning his head so she could look at the damage. The growing anxiety in (Y/n)'s chest started to ignite into pain when Carter didn't make a single sound or move at all, the impact seemed to have knocked him out straight away or caused him to faint but either way, (Y/n) didn't like it. She wanted him to cry, she wanted her boy to wail and scream and shout because she would feel better if he was conscious.

"Carter... Carter, baby look at me, come on... Harry he isn't responding!" Tears welled up in (Y/n)'s eyes as she turned to look over at Harry who was still stood in the same place like he was frozen in time.

Her words seemed to break Harry out of his trance and he moved down to kneel at her side, looking at Carter's head to assess the damage. There was a wound just over his left brow but the blood was making it too difficult to see how deep it was but Harry guessed it was rather bad.

(Y/n) let Harry's hands replace hers that were gently holding Carter's neck to keep his head turned at an angle and the wound away from the floor.

"Carter, baby you need to open your eyes for me. Come on wake up." Harry rubbed his fingers over the pressure point in Carter's neck, trying to stimulate his nerves to wake him up before he moved his hand to rub over his chest, making sure he was breathing properly at least. Harry took a stab in the dark to guess that Carter had fainted rather than knocked himself unconscious because his breathing was rather fast and as if it was trying to even out. He might have panicked in a split second and passed out.

"I- I didn't m..mean to..."

"Alex go inside and stay with nana." Harry looked over at his other son, trying to keep his voice calm and level as not to scare Alex when he was already petrified at what he'd done to his brother. They couldn't have Alex hovering around because he was only scaring himself and it wasn't fair.

When Alex disappeared inside (Y/n) looked back down at Carter who was still motionless but his eye was beginning to turn a rather dark shade and his brow and the side of his head was starting to swell up like a balloon. Harry's hands were resting either side of Carter's neck to try and keep his head in place with his thumbs brushing over the skin and his fingers pressing a little harder so he could keep trying to concentrate on his boys heartbeat and make sure he was okay.

The moment a small, slow moan left Carter's mouth both Harry and (Y/n) shuddered and breathed like it was the first time they'd tasted the fresh air. Carter tried to move his head but Harry's hands made that impossible for him and he clearly didn't have much to any energy at all, he couldn't even manage to open his eyes but that didn't stop the tears from starting to fall.

"Alright, Carter I'm going to pick you up now, try not to move baby." Harry's hands left Carter's neck before he moved round so he could slip his arms under his boy's frame and very carefully pick him up as (Y/n) kept his head up so he didn't hurt his neck.

The couple headed back inside the kitchen, finding Alex smothered in Anne's hug and Lilah presumably in her carrier in the lounge somewhere.

Harry sat down at the table once again and carefully adjusted Carter in his arms but his eyes locked with his mother's, silently begging her to come over and take a look because Harry was sure this didn't look good. A trip to the hospital might be needed. (Y/n) grabbed a wet flannel before bending down beside Harry and very gently dabbed it against Carter's head but her arm retracted quickly when he all but screamed, his body jolting and writhing in Harry's arms from the pain.

"Shh, it's okay baby, we just need to take a look." (Y/n) tried to clean the blood away as best she could until they could actually see the extent of the wound but it was the bruising and swelling that was beginning to worry everyone.

When Carter let out a half-hearted scream, Harry started to rub his hand up and down his side and press his lips to Carter's hair to try and soothe him and calm him down. His screams turned to whines and moans of pain that showed he was still on the verge of falling unconscious and the pain seemed to blind him for he couldn't face the effort or the pain of opening his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning her head, (Y/n) looked at Harry sitting beside her when she could hear him quietly humming beside her and she realised his lips were resting against Carter's forehead and he was humming a song to try and keep him calm and settled. Harry was never a fan of waiting like this, it gave him too much time to overthink and panic about everything and he never knew what to do with himself. Sitting here in the waiting room in A&E without anything to do made Harry nervous.

He'd had his head tilted down for so long that his neck was beginning to seize up and his shoulders were hurting from being slightly hunched over to try and give Carter some love and reassurance.

The seven-year-old was laid over Harry's lap with his head resting up against Harry's shoulder and an ice pack wrapped up in a flannel pressed against the left side of his face. The ice pack was directly over his brow and eye to try and help with the swelling and the flannel covered half of his face which Harry was glad about. People in the waiting room had already been whispering and pointing and glancing over but this way they couldn't take any pictures of Carter or see what he looked like.

Harry had done his best of the years to make sure that the media didn't get any pictures or looks at his children, he didn't want them growing up in the media or with people constantly taking pictures of them because it would be scary and unfair. Harry wouldn't even disclose their ages or names when he was in interviews, he wanted his family life to be private and be his, not for the public.

It was times like these that Harry wished he wasn't famous or that the fans weren't as intervening as they were. He loved the fans, he really did because they made him who he was today, but when they tried to get involved or talk or be nosy in panicked situations like this it upset him because they had no sense of boundaries at times.

"Can I take a look, baby?" Harry pulled his head back so he could look down at Carter who simply made a weak noise, too tired and in pain to give a proper response.

Trying to be careful, Harry lifted the flannel and moved the ice pack so he could see the damage as (Y/n) leaned her chin on his shoulder so she could see too. The swelling had gone down a tiny bit but the bruising was only getting worse and his eye would be swollen shut soon at this rate. With a sigh, Harry moved the ice pack and flannel back to where they were before he rested his chin on top of Carter's head before slowly beginning to sway them both side to side.

When their name was called out neither of them could have been more thankful because the whispers were starting to get louder and fingers were being pointed in their direction.

(Y/n) gently took Carter's hand and held it to the ice pack so it wouldn't fall or move when Harry carefully stood up with Carter still in his arms. Holding him like this for this long reminded Harry of when he was a baby or a toddler because he always used to want to be carried everywhere and Harry always obliged.

They didn't get three paces before their heads turned to the left when someone exclaimed 'it's Harry' and he noticed three people getting up like they were going to approach him. Would they really want to talk to him right now when he had his child in his arms- in A&E? This wasn't the place to try and get a picture or an autograph or even a kind hello from Harry because he wasn't in the mood.

Normally he tried to be kind and considerate, if fans asked for a picture or just a hug he obliged because he knew it wasn't every day that people could meet an idol or someone they liked or admired. He understood what it was like to want an autograph or just a glimpse of someone he really admired but right now wasn't the time. His child was ill and he was at the hospital, this wasn't the time to be making conversations or friends.

It felt horrible but Harry hid his face next to Carter's who he held a little closer to his chest to make sure he was hidden before he turned his side to whoever was approaching them.

He could see (Y/n) looking at the floor out the corner of his eye as she looped her arm through his own, desperate to be invisible.

"Harry! Harry!"

He couldn't help it, he couldn't help the way his head turned in the sound of the voice because it was automatic for Harry to search out who was calling out to him, he never liked to ignore people. His eyes set on a girl who he guessed was around nineteen or so and she had her arm cradled to her chest making him sure she had broken or damaged her wrist.

When the girl tried to reach out for him Harry shook his head and pulled out of her reach before looking at Carter resting in his arms who was very quietly moaning and whimpering every so often. Surely she couldn't believe Harry was going to talk to her when he was here with his injured child who was now about to be seen by a doctor?

"Can I get a picture?"

"...I'm sorry..." Harry motioned to his son again before he regretfully turned away from her and walked with (Y/n) in the direction of the nurse they were going to follow to get Carter checked out. The bleeding had slowed down a little but the wound looked deep and they had to make sure there was no proper damage done to his head or even his eye.

The moment they got out of the waiting room and were advancing down a corridor the sound of a camera flash caught them both off guard. Harry felt (Y/n) pushing herself into his side and her head tilted even lower towards the floor. She always knew marrying Harry came with the fans and the media and constantly being watched and photos but she hated being photographed, especially at times like these and without permission.

(Y/n) could still remember when they went to the hospital to have the twins and someone had spotted them. Photos got leaked everywhere of the couple entering the hospital where (Y/n) was clearly in agony and didn't look her best or very happy at all.

"Please don't take pictures, we're in a hospital." Harry had to stop himself from saying 'have some respect' but it was how he felt. It wasn't that respectful to take pictures of him like this without asking when they were in a hospital and clearly not here to visit anyone.

His words didn't seem to stop the girl who took another photo despite what he just said before she leaned closer, clearly trying to look at Carter since barely anyone of the public knew about Harry's family and kids.

"Don't do that." His voice was low and his words were practically growled as he made sure the flannel was covering Carter enough so that his features couldn't be seen or made out. He didn't want any pictures of Carter surfacing on the internet, especially not when half of his face was swollen and bruised because that wouldn't be nice or fair to him at all.

Harry tangled his fingers into the back of Carter's hair to try and make sure he was okay and calm before they speeded up after the nurse who was looking to try and assess the situation. The moment she guided them down the corridor on the right and into a small empty room (Y/n) sighed in relief. She knew people would stare and whisper but she didn't think anyone would actually approach them.

Moving over to the bed in the middle of the small room, Harry settled Carter down before carefully removing the ice pack and flannel from his face as the nurse left the room and another woman took her place who they presumed must be the doctor. She bit her lip and smiled sadly at Carter who could barely open his sore eye.

"Alright young man, let's take a look at you. What happened?" She walked over to the left side of the bed since both Harry and (Y/n) were stood on the other side of the bed.

"He was fighting with his brother and hit his head on the concrete."

(Y/n) held Carter's hand and brushed her thumb over his fingers as Harry smoothed his hand through Carter's hair to try and keep him calm for the doctor. She was very careful and gentle when touching his temple and pulling his eyelid so she could see his eye properly and she winced when the action made him cry out but the light shining over his eye didn't seem to bother him very much.

As soon as she let go of his eye he squeezed both eyes shut very tightly and started to squirm on the bed when she tried to assess the cut to his head and feel the swelling and bruising.

"Alright, you can relax now you did very well." No sooner had she said that, Carter turned away from her and more in Harry's direction, not daring to open his eyes again. "There's no pressure on or around his eye or optic nerve which is good, his pupil is constricting normally. He will require stitches and I'd like an MRI just to make sure there isn't any pressure or swelling around his brain but it's only as a precaution. We'll get him sorted straight away and he should be fine to go home in a few hours."

[the-quiet-winds]

Silence Screaming Over Your Words (part one)

tiny kat! she’s back! we love the baby! but she is in for a world of trouble in this installment haha @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts​ and i totally haven’t been waiting to post this. the fourth installments are always unlucky huh...

warnings for this story: very blunt conversations of death, but also just death

[Part 1: I Never Did You Right]

things become mostly settled in the seymour household after the intensity of the past few months. katherine is mostly a well-behaved little girl and the household staff dote on her, and jane would be lying if she said she didn’t spoil her daughter just a little bit, meaning katherine tends to get away with most things.

one day, however, katherine disappears. jane searches all over the house, calling katherine’s name and becoming increasingly concerned at the lack of response.

“kitty-kat?” she calls for the hundredth time, grinding her teeth as the headache she already had intensifies more. “where are you, love?”

there’s no response and she continues her third search of the house. 

she’s just reached the top of the stairs again, when the door opens and swiftly closes, and there stands katherine, red-faced and panting but still smiling.

relief floods through jane at the sight of katherine, but the overprotective maternal side of her is still in panic mode.

“where have you been?” she gasps, making her way down the stairs as quickly as she can. katherine gives her a confused look.

“playing in the woods.”

“and you went without telling anyone?” jane’s voice is stricter than normal in her concern and katherine looks taken aback.

"i didn't think it was that big of a deal," katherine says, voice small, then she turns confused. "am i not allowed to play in the woods?"

"of course you are," jane says, head pounding incessantly, "but you can't go without telling anyone, especially not at night!"

katherine looks up at jane, who seems far too angry over something so small, and crosses her arms defiantly. "i'm a big girl, i can handle myself."

“katherine seymour,” jane says evenly, and the full name really lets katherine know that she’s in serious trouble. “you can’t go running off like that! remember what happened with spain? i thought something like that had happened to you again. i’ve told you before to always ask me or your nurse before leaving the garden!”

katherine flinches at the reminder of her time in spain. then she looks defiant. “it was just the woods! i was fine!”

“well i didn’t know that!” jane fires back. 

“you’re making a big deal out of nothing!” katherine shouts, hands balled into fists. she stomps a foot and looks at jane to yell the worst thing she can think of. “you’re not even my mum!”

she shoves past jane and goes up to her room, slamming the door as hard as she can.

jane can’t help but feel a chill at katherine’s words, even though she knows the little girl is only acting out because she’s frustrated. the insecurities about being a mother still grip jane even several months into her guardianship of katherine, and she’d be lying if katherine’s words didn’t hit close to home.

she shivers again as her mind wanders into what-ifs and upsetting potential futures and she sighs, resting a hand on the railing of the staircase.

a third chill runs down her spine, her headache nearly splitting now, as katherine’s words echo in her skull again.

she starts up the stairs to talk to katherine and makes barely a few steps up when she suddenly feels very weak, very tired. 

the world blurs before her eyes and she feels herself falling back down, colliding with the floor and shivering madly. the only thing she can feel is cold, like someone has replaced her blood with ice.

she’s barely aware of a door opening and one of the household staff gasping and dropping a tray, and she can hardly even feel the hands on her as she’s lifted and carried up to her bedroom and placed on her bed.

if she was more lucid she’d have heard the panic amongst the staff, maybe even heard the butler set off on horseback to fetch a physician from a nearby village. but she isn’t, and all she can feel is the grip of cold creeping over her, and then suddenly a wave of heat hits her all at once.

it feels like she’s suffocating. 

the room is so hot, she feels she’s burning. even in her delirium, hands shaking, she rips at the collar of her dress, desperately searching for release from the heat, which comes when one of her maids loosens the stays on her dress. 

it isn’t enough, and very quickly her entire face is damp with sweat.

katherine hears the commotion in the hallway and pokes her head out of her room, confusion crossing her features.

“what’s happening?” she asks with a tilt of her head, but everyone is too busy to answer her. the door to jane’s bedroom is open, however, and katherine can see jane on her bed and she frowns. she heads towards the room but katherine’s nurse steps in the doorway and gently stops her, hands on her shoulders.

“let’s get you ready for bed, katherine,” she says softly but firmly.

katherine cranes her neck and gasps. she sees jane on the bed, writhing and gasping for breath, and suddenly all anger she has been feeling up until that moment disappears.

“mama!” she squeaks and makes for the bed, but the nurse stops her again. 

“you mustn’t go close to her, katherine,” the woman says softly.

“why not?” katherine protests, trying to push her way into the room. “what’s wrong?”

her nurse steers her back by her shoulders, her firm grip more powerful than the eleven-year-old.

“lady jane has taken ill, and we don’t want you getting ill too. everything will be okay in the morning, so let’s just get you ready for bed now.”

“ill?!” katherine nearly shrieks. she tries once again to force her way into the room, but to no avail. 

“she’ll be okay in the morning,” her nurse repeats softly, and the quiet sureness in her voice melts katherine’s resolve. with one last glance at her mother, katherine allows herself to be led to her room. 

the physician arrives not that much later, and he gives the house staff the news they had been dreading. “she has the sweat.”

there’s a miserable silence that radiates through the house. jane is well liked, and nobody would wish sweating sickness even on their worst enemy. within twenty-four hours jane could be dead, and katherine would lose her second mother.

“no one tells katherine until morning,” the girl’s nurse declares. “she must sleep tonight.”

the nurse, head of the household, and butler all look at each other. “all of you,” the butler says, “get some rest. it will be a long day tomorrow.” 

he, the nurse, and the head of household linger behind as everyone shuffles towards their respective chambers, mumbling quiet well-wishing sentiments as they leave.

the butler looks over at the other two with a grave expression. “i suppose we should prepare to inform lady jane’s brothers, if the worst happens.”

“we should not think of such matters,” the nurse begins, but the butler shakes his head.

“you know how quickly the sweating can kill a person.” he swallows roughly and glances over towards the door to jane’s room.

“that may be so,” the nurse concedes. “but there are also cases of people surviving the sweat.”

“but many don’t,” the butler fires back. 

“he is right about that,” the head of household agrees. “we should put word out to her brothers that lady jane might pass in the night.”

“mama might die?”

all three turn, and standing in her doorway, shaking and very pale in fear, is katherine.

“katherine!” her nurse says immediately, concern in her voice. “what are you doing out of bed?”

katherine doesn’t pay any attention to her words, her attention still fixed on the head of household.

“is mama going to die?” she whimpers, tears already welling in her eyes.

the physician, who was just about to take his leave, kneels before katherine. “your mother is a strong woman, little one,” he says gently. “if anyone could pull through, it would be her.” he sighs, looks down, then back up. “but it is possible she won’t. the sweating sickness is very strong and swift.” he lowers his voice. “it is possible.”

this was not the answer katherine wanted to hear, and she immediately runs to her nurse for comfort. the woman opens her arms to katherine and holds her tightly as the little girl sobs against her.

“mama can’t die,” she chokes out, clinging to her nurse as if she were jane herself.

“shh,” the nurse tries to hush her. “she’ll fight for you. i know she is fighting for you. she won’t ever leave you.”

katherine makes a small whimper and clings tighter. 

“but i don’t think she’d want you up all night worrying,” the nurse says, pulling away just slightly. 

“i won’t be able to sleep!” katherine protests, still crying.

“it’s better to try, katherine,” her nurse tries to soothe. “i’ll stay with you.” she manages to pick up the girl and balance her on her hip as if she were much younger than she actually is, even as katherine protests and sobs. “your mama would want you to get some rest, and i think you know that, sweet.”

katherine does her best to fight back, but exhaustion and panic set in at oddly the same time, and suddenly she feels very, very sleepy. 

her nurse helps her back into bed and sits down in the armchair jane often occupied to help katherine sleep.

"it's gonna be alright," she whispers, hoping she's not spreading false promises. "we'll be here when you wake up in the morning, sweetheart."

katherine wants to fight, wants to get up and run to jane in the other room regardless of what her nurse and the others say, but she’s struck with exhaustion and can’t bring herself to climb out of the bed. she sobs a little more and clutches her pillow close.

“mama,” she half-whimpers and her nurse reaches out, tracing katherine’s hairline with her index finger.

“it’s going to be alright,” she repeats. “your mama will pull through.”

———————————————————————————————————–

tag list: @percabeth15 @kats-seymour @qualquercoisa945 @jane-fucking-seymour @a-slightly-cracked-egg @justqueentingz @annabanana2401 @wolfies-chew-toy @broad-way-13 @tvandmusicals @lailaliquorice @aimieallenatkinson @sweet-child-why03 @gaylinda-of-the-upper-uplands @funky-lesbians @thinkaboutitmaybe @hansholbeingoesaroundzeworld @anaamess @beeskneeshuh @prick-up-ur-ears @theartoflazy@justqueentwo @brother-orion @paleshadowofadragon @lafemmestars @beautifulashes17 @jarneiarichardnxel @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff @sixcago @mixer1323 @boleynssixthfinger @aimieallen @elphiesdance @boleynthebunny @krystalhuntress @lupin-loves-chocolate @bellacardoza16 @bluify

[grayson-dolans-dangly-earring]

It Started With A Treehouse (G.D.)

I havent written any Grayson smut in forever soooooo here take this garbage lmao

@scuteedolans @dangly-feather-earring-dolan @pinksnapbackbullshit

              Ethan, Grayson, and I had been inseparable for our entire lives. We grew up as neighbors, the twins ran into my backyard and climbed into my tree house scaring the hell out of me when we were five years old and the rest is pretty much history. Our parents became friends, we went on vacations together, we were babysat together, and we got along great so we basically grew up in each other’s pockets. As we got older the twins grew like weeds and bulked up quite a bit. There was no denying that they were handsome young men, I just wasn’t attracted to either of them. Or so I thought.

                As time went on, I realized a little part of me always loved Grayson a little bit more than Ethan. I always gave in to him, whether it be where we went to eat or what game we played. All he had to do was look up at me through the thick fringe of his eyelashes with those big hazel puppy dog eyes and my resolve would crumble in an instant. His face would split into a beautiful grin, flashing his brilliant white teeth, and I’d melt. Of course, to his face I would scoff and pretend to be irritated but I was never really upset. I don’t think I ever could be.

               It was late on Saturday night, and my phone rang with a text message.

*Group Chat*

G: hey sluts, movie night?

E: first off, rude. second, no.

Me: why not E? hot date tonight?! Lmaooooo

G: yeah right, Y/N. maybe with his left hand.

Me: EW

E: HEY LISTEN I COULD GET A DATE IF I WANTED ONE

G: suuuuuure ya could buddy.

E: I don’t see you on many dates dear brother so….

Me: OH SICK BURN BABY

G: you two are the worst

E: aww ya sad now?

Me: yeah gray, ya gonna cry?

G: fuck offfffff. Is anyone coming to watch this fucking movie with me or what????

E: I already said no, dingus. I’m sleeping at Aaron’s house tonight

G: so you DO have a hot date!

Me: don’t let things get too sexy tonight E!

E: you are both monsters.

Me: gray I’m in for a movie if you want. As long as its nothing that sucks.

G: do my choices ever suck?????

Me: um remember the 4th of july with the twizzlers and half a bottle of fireball???

G: I MEANT MY MOVIE CHOICES NOT MY LIFE CHOICES Y/N.

Me: mhmmmmmm

G: I came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now.

E: gray that was lame

Me: you are LITERALLY a living meme

G: yeah but you love me baby!

E: I don’t!

Me: yeah yeah whatever I’ll be over in 5

G: YAY!

               I put my phone in my pocket before I slipped my shoes on. I called out to my mother to let her know where I was going on my way out the door. I walked across the driveway and into the Dolan’s front yard. I didn’t bother knocking and I just walked inside. I knew everyone else was gone because the only car in the driveway was Grayson’s. That’s when reality hit. I was alone with him in this big house. Why the fuck was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden? I needed to relax and act normal. I could not let my minor crush come bubbling to the surface right this very second.

               “GRAYSON BAILEY DOLAN WHERE YOU AT?!” I shouted from the front hallway. “I’M IN HERE!” I heard him yell in response from the living room. I grinned and started running. When I hit the living room I dove over the arm of the couch and tackled Grayson onto the cushions. “Y/N what the hell girl?! Are you tryin to kill me?” He said while laughing. His laughter shook my body as I was still on top of him. “You know I like to make an entrance.” I said while climbing off of him. I flopped onto the couch next to him with my feet in his lap. “Go ahead G, fire it up!” He chuckled while pressing play on the remote.

               About an hour into the movie, I started to get tired and uncomfortable because of the way I was sitting. Grayson’s large hand wrapped around my ankle. Still staring at the screen, he said “Stop squirming.” My heartbeat quickened just a little and I let out a fake irritated sigh. He patted his thigh and said “Come on.” I smiled a little and rearranged myself so my head was resting in his lap. Grayson knew this was my favorite way to lay but he also knew I always fell asleep like this too. Sure enough he started stroking my hair and in a matter of minutes I was asleep.

               About an hour later I started to wake up but Grayson was still stroking my hair so I didn’t open my eyes. Call me selfish but it was soothing and I didn’t want him to stop. I cracked one eye open and his phone was close enough to my face that I could read his texts. Now I didn’t want to spy but teasing Gray was kinda my favorite thing and if there was something funny in his texts I could use against him, you can bet your ass I would. He was texting Ethan and the hand that wasn’t stroking my hair, was flying over his keyboard.  It took all of my strength not to shiver while reading his conversation.

G: e I need help

E: whats up bro?

G: im freaking out. Y/N’s head is in my lap

E: dude this isn’t new. she does that all the time

G: e you KNOW this is different. You know how I feel about her!

E: yeah and that’s why I went to Aarons! Man up!

G: I don’t know what to do! God damn it I want to touch her so bad

E: okay well don’t be weird about it. Just like touch her arm or something idk man!

G: ethan you have no idea what she does to me I cant fucking breathe rn

E: well im going to leave you to it FIGURE IT OUT BUD!

G: ETHAN NO

G: ETHAN I SWEAR TO GOD

G: FUCK

               He clicked the power button on his phone and threw it onto the other side of the couch, and his head dropped back, a sigh escaping his lips. Now that I knew he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him, I pulled the courage from inside of me and decided that I was going to make the move to go further. I pretended to still be asleep and I rolled over so my face was inches from his toned stomach. I could hear him gasp above me and I bit back a grin. I stretched out like a cat as his hand ran down my spine. I slowly dragged my hand over the growing bulge in Grayson’s jeans. A groan spilled from his lips and I could feel his body tense up. I slowly blinked my eyes open and grinned up at him. “Are you sure sweetheart? Because if we do this, you gotta be sure.” He asked quietly. I could see the hope shining in his eyes and a shy grin appeared on his face as I nodded.

               As soon as he had confirmation that I was okay with this, a fire ignited in his eyes and his hand traveled down between my thighs. He began rubbing small tight circles over my clit through my leggings. All reasonable thought flew out of my head at the feeling of his fingers on my most sensitive area. My hips bucked against his hand and moans spilled from my lips. “These need to come off.” Grayson said, pulling at my pants. I stood up and removed my leggings, feeling exposed. “C’mere baby.” He said, grabbing my hips and pulling me into his lap.

               Grayson tucked his head into my neck and nipped at the sensitive skin. My hips began to grind down onto his thick thigh and I couldn’t control my sighs as my clit rubbed against the denim of his jeans. At this point I was so turned on I couldn’t see straight. “Fuck baby. You like riding my thigh? Does that feel good?” Grayson growled, his hands guiding my hips back and forth on his leg. “Yes! Hngg-oh my god Grayson!” I whined out. One of his hands left my hip and snaked down to rub me through my panties. He pushed them to the side and sank 2 thick fingers into me. I gasped at the intrusion and he grinned me, knowing exactly what he was doing to me. I tipped my head down and sealed my lips with his. He pumped his fingers in and out of my dripping center and my mouth fell open. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I could feel that heat coiling in my belly.

               Grayson withdrew his fingers from my pussy and brought them up to my mouth. I sucked his index finger into my mouth, wrapping my tongue around the thick digits. I looked into his eyes as I continued sucking and he let out a low hiss.

               “That’s it. Enough fucking around.” He growled as he flipped me onto my back. Grayson stood up and unbuckled his pants, yanking them down along with his boxers. He pushed my knees apart and settled between my thighs. “Please Grayson. I need you.” I whined, on the brink of tears. “Shh don’t cry baby. Daddy knows what you need.” He whispered, lining his length up with my entrance. He pushed into me slowly, giving me time to adjust to his size.

               Grayson pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in, an animalistic sound ripping out of my throat. He began thrusting into me at a near punishing pace and I couldn’t contain the sounds spilling from my lips. “Please Daddy! God you feel so good! I can’t hold on!” I screamed. “Yeah that’s right baby. Tell me how good you feel. Tell me how much you need my cock.” Grayson grunted into my ear, his warm breathe fanning over my heated skin. “Ugh-Gray you feel so good inside me. Your cock is the best I’ve ever had! I’m gonna come!” I whimpered in response.

               His hand gently tightened around my throat, beginning to cut off my air supply. He kept thrusting quickly, his face twisting and contorting as he chased his release. His hand kept tightening around my throat and the air was getting thinner and thinner. The lack of oxygen made my blood feel like it was boiling and my clit was throbbing. Just as my vision started to darken Grayson removed his hand and used it to rub my clit in tight circles as I sucked in a huge breath. The sudden intake of oxygen mixed with his touches threw me right over the edge as I exploded around him. “FUCK!” Grayson shouted into the empty room as my pussy continued to flutter around him. After another half dozen powerful thrusts he stilled inside me as his orgasm washed over him. After he spilled his seed inside me, he collapsed on top of me, his head on my chest.

               “Wow. Y/N do you know how I’ve wanted this? How long I’ve wanted you?” He whispered into my damp skin. I ran my fingers through his messy hair and whispered back “I’m guessing, as long as I’ve wanted you?” He was quiet before responding. “Y/N please don’t tell me this was a one time thing? I want you to be mine. Like, forever ya know?” Grayson said, lifting his head to look me in the eyes. I cradled his face in my hand. “I’ve been yours since you and your idiot brother stormed my treehouse when we were five years old Grayson Bailey Dolan. I’m not going anywhere.”

[fullrangeofemotions]

V. A Rose Painted Red

///////Me trying to figure out Donna’s backstory for aso*iaf verse #2. Mostly, I just wanted to write little Donna.////

Donna settled between her mama’s legs, relaxing as her mama ran a brush through her curls. “How does your hair get all tangled, my rosebud?” Donna giggled, both knowing that it came from Donna running around and getting in some sort of trouble. “Relax,” her mama muttered, the back of her knuckles caressing Donna’s cheek as she gently guided Donna’s sight towards the fireplace in front of them.

“Just focus on the fire, my little rosebud. Focus on the light of our lord.”

Donna said nothing but stared at the fire. She stared and stared until the flames began to take shape. Suddenly, Donna startled so bad, she began to cry.

Damarys let out a soft sigh and she pulled Donna into her arms, rocking her. Thankfully, she was asleep by the time Lester arrived. It meant when their argument started, Donna didn’t have to hear them.

“Donna belongs in Highgarden.”

Slowly, Donna woke up to the sound of her Papa’s voice. “Papa!” she cried out, struggling to her feet and rushed over to his side, arms outstretched up towards him. With a laugh, he picked her up and twirled her around to Donna’s delight. Damarys watched this with a tight smile.

--

Donna woke up screaming at the top of her lungs. Lester reached her side first, picking her up and cradling her in his arms.

“Shhhh, I have you now. Shh.” She clutched at his shirt, sobbing uncontrollably, pleading for him to make the fire go away, please make the fire go away papa. Lester looked up at Damarys with a glare but said nothing, working on getting Donna to settle.

--

“I told you I did not want you teaching her anything about your Lord of the Light.” “He is speaking to her! She has clearly been chosen to be a priestess, to do his work. You know how long it can take for someone to have visions?” “No, you have chosen her to be that. You want her to do be like you, you are putting images in her mind, but I won’t let you anymore. I am taking her to Highgarden.”

--

“I can play ‘ith me cousins?” she asked excitedly as her papa helped her pack. Damarys watched from the entryway as Donna excitedly began folding her clothes. “I love nana. She is nice. Can I hold baby Maggy?” she asked, pausing for a moment in awe. Lester chuckled at the fact that Donna couldn’t say Margaery. He looked up and saw Damarys in the doorway, his smile fell away immediately.

“Mama! We going to a castle!”

Damarys said nothing but she moved forward and began to help Donna with her clothes.

No, you aren’t.

--

Donna was too tired to do anything but sit still and allow her mama to help put her slippers on. Donna thought Papa had said they would not ride until later. Something about her uncle sending men to help them. Hurriedly, Damarys wrapped her in a cloak before picking her up. Donna rested her head on her mama’s shoulders, eyes landing on her papa’s form by the fireplace. Silly Papa, she thought, they were going to be late if he kept on sleeping. He looked so peaceful and warm. Hmmm. Mama would have to wake him up…..

She let out a soft “Papa” before falling back asleep.

.--

Donna woke up, confused as she felt herself being jostled around. She knew what it felt like to be on a horse, her papa took her riding with him. Slowly, she straightened and pulled at the cloak covering her face.

“Mama?” she whispered, looking up to see her mama’s serious face, eyes hardened as she just kept looking straight ahead. Confused, Donna shifted so she could look around, but she couldn’t see Papa anywhere. She tilted to the side, trying to look behind them, but there was no Papa there.

“Where Papa?” she asked, breath hitching in fear. “Papa! Papa!”

“Hush, now, Donna. Stop that.”

Donna startled as she looked at her mama, who had never spoken to her in such a tone. Tears began to well in her eyes.

“It is just the two of us from now on. Just the two of us. He’s with the Lord of Light now.”

Donna cried herself to sleep, wrapped around her mama’s red cloak.

---

In her dreams, she saw flames. There was fire everywhere. And sometimes there was a growl. It was deep and scary. Donna didn’t understand.

She just wanted it to stop.

Please.

---

Donna shivered as she wrapped the red cloak her mama had given her tightly around her. She sat on the ground as her mama kneeled in front of the fire.

“Donna, come, join me.”

Donna didn’t want to, she didn’t want to look into the flames. Donna didn’t want to see things in the flames, but she also didn’t want to disappoint her mama. Slowly, she stumbled to her mother’s side and sat next to her.

“Lead us from the darkness, O my Lord. Fill our hearts with fire, so we may walk your shining path . . . R'hllor, you are the light in our eyes, the fire in our hearts, the heat in our loins. Yours is the sun that warms our days, yours the stars that guard us in the dark of night…..”

Donna closed her eyes as she repeated the words, nodding off at some point as she listened to her mama pray.

.---

“Look into the fire little red, and tell me what you see,” Damarys cooed as she pushed Donna’s curls back and away from her face. Donna shook her head, eyes wide in terror. She just wanted to go back to praying. Donna didn’t mind the praying, it was soothing, even if she did not understand the words.

“No mama. I do not want to. Please.”

Donna did not want to look into the flames. She did not want to see anything. No. No. She shook her head over and over again, tears streaming down her face.

“I want papa.”

She wanted her papa.

Damarys said nothing, pulling Donna into her arms and rocking her until she calmed down. Her face softened as she held her daughter close. They would be well. Donna would grow out of her fear. She was still young, she would embrace the Lord of the Light given time.

---

Damarys shook Donna awake, the fire that usually was lit all night was extinguished. Donna looked around, the sky beginning to lighten. In the distance, she could hear noise.

“Mama?”

Slowly, she got to her feet and watched as her mama began packing up their stuff. No, she was packing up her own things.

“Mama? What?”

Damarys didn’t have much time. The noise was getting louder and Donna could clearly hear shouts and dogs now.

“Listen to me, my little rosebud. Listen to me.” Damaris knelt in front of Donna and grabbed her chin.

“Do not be afraid of the light, of the fire. Fire is life, do you hear me? Our Lord of the Light is the truth, trust in him. He will protect you from the Lord of Darkness. Do not be afraid. I will see you again one day, this I know.”

Damarys pressed a kiss to Donna’s forehead, before getting to her feet and moving to her horse.

“Mama?” Donna asked in a tiny, broken voice. She stumbled over towards her Mama, but Damarys just took a deep breath and mounted her horse. “Mama?”

“Do not be afraid Donna. Do not be afraid!” Damarys called out one last time as she urged her horse to run.

“MAMA! DON’T LEAVE ME! MAMA! PLEASE!!” Donna began to scream, running after her mama until she tripped on a root. She fell to the ground, crying as she looked out but could no longer see her mama.

“Come back,” she whispered.

---

That was how her uncle found her, curled up on the ground.

---

Lord of Light, defend us. The night is dark and full of terrors.

[obsessivesarcasticgayliving]

I’ve Got You

“I got you.”

Those three words held special meaning for the Danvers sisters.

The first time they were uttered was the night Alex broke her arm from the car explosion near the beach. Kara had been so distraught at the thought of hurting anyone, especially Alex, she woke up crying from a nightmare.  Not the normal, my planet just exploded even though it has actually been 24 years nightmare she’s been having. No, this time it was an, I’m a monster everyone should stay away and be afraid of me because I’ll only ever hurt them, kind of nightmare.  It was a nightmare that was so realistic that when Kara opened her eyes and saw Alex standing over her, concern written all over her face, Kara flew backward almost straight through the wall.  Drywall definitely needed to be repaired the next day from the force that she hit the wall. Alex hurried around the bed kneeling next to the crying heap that was Kara Danvers n��e Zor-el soothing her the same way one would with a new born baby.

“Shhhhh. Shh shhhhh shhhhh.” Alex calmed gathering Kara into her arms ignoring the pain in her broken arm. “Shhhh, Kara. It’s okay, I’ve got you. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“How can you say that Alex? I hurt you. I broke your arm. I-I’m a monster. I’ve come in and turned your family upside down. How can you say that it’s okay?” Kara asked between loud booming sobs.

“You’re not a monster Kara. You’re still learning about Earth and what you can do here. And besides, you’re my sister now, which means that you can’t call yourself a monster. Only I can do that and trust me when I say you’re no monster.  Being my sister also means that I’ve got your back just like you’ve got mine. So right now, I’ve got you and one day when I need you, you’ll have my back.”

Alex moved to help Kara up, leading her to the bed. She laid Kara down, gathering the blankets wadded up on the ground with her good arm. She determinedly spread the covers over her sister and moved to the door. She stopped when she felt a soft gentle hand grasp her wrist. Alex turned and met the red puffy eyes of Kara.  Kara glanced down to the spot next to her, pleading for Alex to stay with her at least until she fell asleep. Alex nodded once as Kara lifted the blankets waiting for Alex to settle herself.

“Come here, sis,” Alex whispered holding her good arm open.  Kara wasted no time snuggling up to Alex, finally relaxing fully after her sister’s arm fell holding her around her shoulders. Little did they know, Eliza and Jeremiah were on the other side of the door watching their children really bond for the time since Kara came to live with them.  

“I got you” became the Danvers sisters’ mantra to the other. It reminded them that no matter what they always had someone in their corner backing them up. Right or wrong, it didn’t matter, they always had backup.

Alex whispered those words to Kara so many times.  

They were stated through the worst thunderstorms imaginable. “I’ve got you,” she’d whisper while basically laying on top of Kara while thunder, so bad the foundation of their house shook, echoed outside.  

“I’ve got you.” Alex would state rubbing Kara’s back soothingly as fireworks exploded in the sky celebrating the 4th of July, Kara’s first Independence Day to be exact.

“I’ve got you,” Alex said holding back tears the night before she left for university. Alex was excited to go but she was worried about Kara finding herself alone in high school.  High schoolers were mean. This is something Alex knew all too well. And this would be the first year Alex wasn’t there to scare off kids who thought it was cool to pick on her sister.

“I’ve got you.” Alex expressed all four times Kara came to her crying because she broke the noses of the guys she’d been dating.

By the time they both moved to National City, the words weren’t 100% necessary. With one look Alex could express those three words to Kara. And she did. Every time Kara came to her apartment upset for this reason or that, Alex would either say the words or simply look Kara in the eyes arms open wide, her body language doing the talking for her.  

Kara whispered those words to Alex just as often.

“I’ve got you.” Kara would say in the months after Jeremiah “died” as Alex broke down into a sobbing mess on the floor while Eliza worked late. “I’ve got you.” Kara would repeat over and over as Alex hit and kicked the floor and then Kara as Kara gently took Alex in her arms. Kara hugged her tightly until Alex finally gave in, stopped fighting, and let herself feel the pain of losing her father. A pain Kara knew all too well.

“I’ve got you.” Kara would say to Alex, while making coffee, on the nights Kara would stay up late with Alex, watching her push herself to the brink of exhaustion just to appease Eliza’s expectations.

“I’ve got you.” Kara would say the night after Eliza’s visit to National City was over. The words left Kara’s mouth as she rocked Alex through her feelings of inadequacy and the knowledge that she’d never been able to meet her mother’s expectations, that she’d never been good enough.

“I’ve got you.” Kara soothed holding Alex after she woke up screaming in the nights following the near drowning, near dying, experience Alex went through. “I’ve got you.” Kara would repeat until Alex calmed down or Maggie finally got back to the apartment after work.

They are the three words Kara said during their first sister’s night after Alex came out to her, the first night they were truly able to talk about Alex’s feelings. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s okay. You’re fine. You’re perfect and you’re valid and you’re amazing and I’ve got you.” Kara said over and over again as Alex cried out of confusion and sadness and happiness and relief with her sister’s acceptance.

“I’ve got you,” Kara said as Alex held onto her sister so hard that if Kara wasn’t Kryptonian her hand may have broken. “I’ve got you.” She said. They were the only words that came to mind as she stared at the sterile white walls of the cold uninviting hospital waiting room. “I’ve got you,” Kara whispered all the while praying to Rao that Maggie came out of the surgery fine. Praying that the bullet didn’t do any critical damage to her internal organs or spine. “I’ve got you,” she said as Alex collapsed to the ground after hearing the surgeon tell her the surgery was successful and that barring any complications, Maggie would be fine.

“I’ve got you!” Kara all but squealed as she looked at her sister dressed in white, hands shaking as she tried to clasp the necklace around her neck. When Alex turned to hand her bouquet to Kara, Kara’s eyes said everything Alex needed to hear. “I’ve got you,” they shouted in the seconds before Alex turned back to Maggie for what might be the happiest day of Alex’s life.

It didn’t matter the situation the Danvers sisters found themselves in.  They only needed three words to remind the other that everything was going to be fine. “I’ve got you” they’d say to each other, in good times and bad. “I’ve got you” became their I love you. Yes, they said those three words frequently as well. But when nothing else could get through their pain or when nothing else could match the happiness they felt, they’d say, “I’ve got you” as a reminder that they weren’t alone. As a reminder that they were sisters and sisters are forever. As a reminder that together, and with everyone else they loved, they could handle whatever curveball life throws at them next because they’ve got each other.