#also realized like halfway through editing these that he's in the WRONG CLOTHES but whatever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

an-exotic-writer · 4 years ago

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jimin: sidewalk sugar (m)

[unedited - reupload - will edit soon!] ❝ you met your sugardaddy on the sidewalk? - jeon jungkook 2k16 ► 9955 words // scenario, sugardaddy!jimin ❣ one of my absolute favorites! ;w;

There are days where you love life to the end of time. Everything seemed to be a domino effect of pleasant things going your way; planned itinerary finishing on time, unexpected good news, maybe even a raise in your salary but that’s highly doubtful but a person can hope, no? It’s all the possible good emotions bottled up into a day, the span of twenty-four hours oozing with nothing but smiles and giggles. Those days are what you aim for the most, or at least, try.

Today was not one of those days.

Today was really not one of those fucking days.

Getting up late for work even though you set two alarm clocks? Yeah, those tiny pieces of shit decided to spell out fuck you in numeric because you got up an hour later. The regular bus you took seemed to be late and there was no way in hell you would make it in time for your first class. That would resort to your second class but hey, look who decided to trip you and spill coffee all over your notes? Ah, this is also a giant middle finger shown from God when a random passerby decided to help you and fuck me man, he’s gorgeous.

It’s already bad enough that the notes you’ve spent so hard had brown splotches and even if you wiggled them out, it’s going to take a ton of writing to make up for the loss. You try not to cry, simply because you get emotional when things get tough and hey you’re human, it’s normal. But when so many things are falling out of your way in just the beginning of the day, might as well set yourself on fire. The stranger that bumped into you hadn’t even had the guts to apologize just as he tries to scurry himself up and make a dash for it.

You would’ve let him go, because if you saw his face, you’d remember his face structure and made sure you’d add a little extra in his drink if he ever walked into the coffee shop you worked at. But another voice seemed to caught him down for you.

“Hey. I believe you owe this lady an apology,” At the authoritative tone, you down your guts about to throw up, tilting your chin up to see a man clad in a suit, tailored to perfection wrapped around his slim figure was the owner of that sweet, honeyed voice that sounded so powerful as each word fell from his mouth. You gape, aware of the stares you’re getting because this is a bloody sidewalk where at this time it’s the most packed that you naturally reach out to tug on the hem of this… stranger’s pants. You’re trying not to stain his attire because it looks too expensive for your ass to cover that but you give your best, “D-Don’t, it’s fine…”

The handsome stranger lets the other stranger go, growling a beat it before he lets him scramble off while you’ve gone back to gathering your notes. When you see that another set of hands help you out in picking up the sheets of hand-written notes, you realize you’re not alone. As you reach for the last one, he does the same and your hands brush against each other. He gasps and stops, only for you to snatch it before mumbling a soft thanks. He gets up, offering you help as well and where in the name of God did he come from?

He carefully hands you back your notes and smiles at you in apology despite this not being his fault, or his business to begin with. His black hair mused as if someone had just ran their hands through them, dark, round eyes disappearing when he smiles, lips soft and pink as they radiate warmth to seep in your veins, it’s difficult to keep eye contact when remembering your current state.

Your white blouse is now half brown, black pencil skirt coated with a thin layer of the remnants on the pavement and let’s not even begin with the marks on your kneecaps. But none of that is compared to the look on your face as you bite down on your lip, staring at your hours of hard work now flushed in the drain. In other words, a large cup of black Americano from an asshole.

“Hey…” His voice is still sweet, this time dropping to lukewarm as his hand graces over to your shoulder, trying to comfort you when the tears well up in your eyes, “A-Are you okay…?”

Managing to look at him in the eye, you nod and smile despite the single tear straying down your cheek. As his eyes look painfully immersed in the emotions of your own, of how he frowns and the lines crease his forehead, he intends to say something about you lying. But you soon correct yourself with the shaking of your head, hanging your head low, “No,”

Even saying a word with one syllable was hard and it makes him sick to his stomach.

He brings things to his own hands, moving the one from your shoulder to use two fingers to tip your chin up so he can look at you properly, his smile appearing once more, “Is there any way I can help you?”

With an intake of air, it fills up your lungs and your mind of what you should do but what you really do instead as you wipe the remaining tears that fall from your eyes. He acts quick, fishing out an ironed and nicely folded handkerchief that carefully swipes your tears away. He quietly tugs you to the side, to avoid walking traffic and when you’re at a safe distance by the wall, you lean against it and he doesn’t like how you look like one of those nice people who just gets shitty things happening to them.

“Really, let me help you. Whatever it is, I’ll try,”

Initially your plan was to comeback with a snarky comment like why the fuck do you care but upon meeting his eyes and seeing how genuine they are in helping, you can’t. He looks like he donates half of his earnings to charity and with that, you’re not about to treat someone else like shit because your day got started off the wrong way.

“Unless you can miraculously make my notes clean or my clothes, I don’t think so,” Shaking your head at his incredible hospitality, you gently put his hand away from your cheek, “But on the other hand, I appreciate it. Thank you,” You give his hand a light pat as it falls to his side and gather every ounce of selfesteem left in you to turn on your heels to start walking away. Not even halfway through this coffeeshop to your right, his voice that you seem to recognize calls for you with—“Wait!”

You do stop but you’re not expecting much until he jogs around you, reappearing before you again. He catches his breath and then says past a heavy exhale, “I can help. Well, only half of that but… do you trust me?”

If he’s thinking this is one of those movies where you’d just gladly accept his hand and run away to the sunsets, man he has another thing coming. Raising a brow at him, you take a step back, to which it deflates his confidence but he doesn’t let it show.

“I… I just met you. And I don’t even know your name,”

He laughs, and the way he laughs completely strikes your heart to the heaven’s at how beautiful it sounds. His head tips back because apparently, you’re a comedian and yes hi hello, you’re hilarious as fuck but no. He leans forward, stretching his arm and hand to you once the laughter dies down. He’s smiling once more, not offended or affected by your response but he is rather impressed. Many your age would be smitten by looks and grabbed by the hook but apparently, there’s still hope left in society.

“I’m Jimin. Park Jimin,” From his eyes filled with sincerity to his smile curved to kindness, you relent and manage your things in one arm, extending the other to place your hand in his. Automatically he curls his fingers around yours, feeling the grip of warmth clutching onto you as you shake his hand lightly, “Y/N. Just Y/N,”

“There, now you know me,” He lets your hand go, to which you go back to clutching onto your notes as he smiles at you widely, “Now, do you trust me?”

Oh what the hell.

With a small smile, you nod, bringing a wider one to Jimin’s lips, “Yeah.”

“Um… where are we going?” You only ask now, after seated in his car (which is a fucking Mercedes Benz, one of the limited editions in jet black) as he drives you downtown and once seeing high rises and luxurious lots, you’re certain this part town is none of your favor. “Just somewhere I’m regular at,” He answers with a hint of amusement, taking a side glance to notice how your eyes are glued to what’s outside of the window. The gape you have as your eyes ogle at the sight, he’s certain you’ve never been to this side before. Or you have but never gotten the chance to linger around.

He takes it as you’re done when you close your mouth at the stop he pulls in front of a boutique. Stained glass just for class, the clothes they present out by the line of the sidewalk, it scares you how expensive it must be to even stand in there to breathe. Jimin makes himself known when he opens the door for you, not knowing how to function properly until he offers a hand for you to step out. Once on your feet, you rely on him to lead you into the shop with his hand in yours.

The bells ding upon arrival, stepping in and automatically, there’s a man clad in a striped suit, similar to Jimin’s, the pattern only distinctively different from his. He’s taller, of silver hair combed back and a dimpled smile shining your way when he walks around the counter, “Ah, Min. Brought a lady back, I see,”

Jimin only chuckles, grip loosening on your hand as he steps forward to offer whoever this is a hug and—“I’m Namjoon, Kim Namjoon.”

“Y/N,” You manage softly, reaching to shake his hand and everything else that happens after leaves you in a daze. With the snapping of his fingers, there’s a lady coming out—high waisted skirt, pretty peach blouse with her hair in a nice bun with a few allowed strands by the side of her face, she takes your measurement. There are no words exchanged as you stand there, like a doll for her to dress up. As she steps away with a measuring board, she clicks away back into the curtains.

Gulping, you turn to look at Jimin, who’s seated on one of the black leather sofas and he smiles at you, motioning you with a hand to follow her. You’re about to protest, something like I can’t afford this but when he looks so confident, as if he knows what you’re thinking, you relent and stalk behind her. Past the curtains there’s already a row of clothes by the side, a mirrored wall that puts emphasis that this room might be bigger than you thought. The lady earlier smiles at you and picks out something that might match your taste and true enough, it does.

It’s a nice white dress shirt with sleeves that curl around your wrists with lace. The buttons are of gold with white thread and the pencil skirt she picks out almost looks like the one she has on but this is in your size, fitting right above your knees. She gives you privacy to change and just as you slip on the skirt, she steps around your discarded clothes to reach behind you, zipping you up before you can do it yourself. With a grateful smile, you look at her over your shoulder, “T-Thank you,”

“You’re welcome, love,” She winks, picking up what you should be and before you can take it back, she frowns at you, “Um… I don’t think this is worth saving. Even with the quality of cleaning products we have, it might not work,”

She notices how you’re attached to it because that’s my favorite… but you’re quick to shake your head, brushing it off with a small smile, “I-It’s okay, then…”

“Are you sure?” She wants to confirm she has your green light and when you nod once more, she disappears and goodbye, half a month’s worth of paycheck. You come to realize there’s no time to sulk when a voice startles you from the other end and in this case, it’s not Jimin. Smoothening your hands down on your clothes, it feels so foreign, a little too expensive but you like it. Turning around, you nudge the curtains aside and come face to face with Namjoon, who grins, “Looks great,”

Grinning back, you step out to follow him, “Thanks,”

As he leads you to the counter he stood behind not too long ago, filling out a card for you to take. “If you need any other assistance in the future, bring this back,” It has your measurements and whatever it is to tailor to your needs and you blink at it before taking it carefully, “Thank you but… I don’t think I’ll be coming back,”

Noticing it came off wrong, you shake your head and almost crush the card out of nervousness, “N-Not because the selection here is bad! Because, um… I don’t have the money…”

“Well, with Jimin, it’s off the house,” Namjoon says smoothly, folding his arms and leaning forward to eye you with curiosity that has you growing conscious with how you look, “By any chance are you younger?”

“Than Jimin?” Namjoon nods. “I guess? I’m not too sure—“

“Is he your sugar daddy or something?”

Gawking at his assumptions, you now know Namjoon’s not one to sugar coat his words. Finding your words, they fly out filter before you can hold yourself back, “I wish he was,”

“Wish who was your sugar daddy?” A voice pops up from behind and you watch as amusement fills Namjoon’s eyes, belittling you as he smirks and stalks off to the side, gone as he walks past the blinds. Gulping, you turn around carefully and offer him a crooked smile, hands behind your back, “Um…”

He steps forward, closer and closer until he’s in the personal of your space. His hand reaches up, putting strands of your hair behind your ear as he hums for an answer, “Hm?”

“You. But we were just kidding and—“

“Shame, I’d actually take it up,” He coos, finding that you’re not all as you seem and he likes it. Jimin likes it a lot. With his hand, he carefully strokes your cheek and then puts his hands back into his pockets, shrugging at you, “And, you look beautiful,”

“Thank you—thank you but, Jimin, how much is this? I don’t know how long I’d need to take but I’ll pay you back and—“

“No no, it’s my treat, don’t even talk about it.” He shakes his head, tutting at you in the process as he reaches down and holds his palm up. You quietly place your hand after a hushed thank you and Jimin doesn’t think he’s heard anything more sincere in his years of living. Once you have your hand in his, he holds onto it and leads you back out to his car. Neither of you say a word until closes the door of his side of the door and the both of you are inside the vehicle. Anxious, you don’t say anything, keeping your lips shut and only answering him when he asks where do you need to be?

After giving him the name of the university you go to, he seems to be interested, questioning as soon as you strap your seatbelt and he revs the engine, “Final year?”

“How’d you know?”

“Lucky guess.” He snorts, and after that, the rest of the drive is quiet. (but really, he managed to see one of your notes with the hint there)

When he reaches just a few blocks away, you manage to place a hand on his shoulder, gaining his full attention, “J-Jimin, you can stop here. I’ll get off,” You take your seat belt off, only to let Jimin hold you back when he does pull over but he keeps the door locked. Unable to open, you look over your shoulder to frown at him, “Jimin…”

“Why not at the front?” He questions, only to have you sighing as you shake your head, “I… I don’t want people to get the wrong idea. I’m sure, for a person like you to be driving a car like this, you’re in no position to be associated with me and just—“

“I don’t care,” He cuts you off, causing you to suck in a breath when he leans over dangerously close and you swallow the lump trapped in your throat, preventing any words from slipping past, “J-Jimin…”

“I’ll drop you off in the front, yeah? Take it as part of the ways you’re repaying me,”

“P-Parts?” You squeak, and Jimin doesn’t answer just yet, chuckling with that beautiful voice of his as he takes advantage at the green light, getting his car back onto the main road as he drives past the remaining blocks. Once reaching the front gates of your university, he doesn’t let you get off just yet.

“How about some dinner tomorrow night? Down at The Grand Marlin at seven?”

Trying to remain calm, you see if you’re on the same page as he is, “A-Are you serious about the whole sugar daddy thing…?”

He raises his brows and lowers them down, an act of teasing you as his voice spells out—“I am if you are,”

Biting back a smile, letting out a shy one, Jimin unlocks the door for you to open the door, in which you get out of the car without a word. He doesn’t know if it’s a good sign or a bad sign but he does know he appreciates the way you rake your hands through your hair, sparing him a grin as you murmur just for him, “See you at seven.”

The rest of your day had been better than you had expected. You pass the presentation with a grade that your lecturer seems to be pleased with, lunch was paid for by your friends and tonight your boss called in saying that your shift was taken over by a co-worker, so you need not come in. But this is where everything starts to sink in at the thought of Jimin when you’re reaching a friend’s dorm. Considering you live just next door, you decide to pop up because you need help.

“Wow, who the hell did you rob to get that?” Taehyung’s eyes grow wide, simply because he’s one of the few who knows of your dealings to earn money and there was no way you’d spend for another attire like that when it’s your last year in this hellhole. You laugh and step in, giving him a quick hug before you reach the sofa. He doesn’t let up on it, taking the seat beside you, looking at you dead in the eye, “I’m serious, Y/N. Who did you kill?”

“I’m about to tell you, alright? Jeez, let me breathe,”

He waits until you take three inhales and two exhales and that’s when he shakes you, “Tell me!”

“I don’t think you’re going to believe me,” Your voice is shaky, the same time you drop your bag to the side and he scoffs a laugh, rolling his eyes along the way. He brushes his brown hair back and leans against the arm of the sofa, grabbing onto a pillow to hug and tossing you one, “Please. I think after what happened with Jungkook, I believe everything is possible now. Try me,”

“I… got myself a sugar daddy. Or at least, I think so…?”

“Woah, okay, okay,” Taehyung takes in your words, the new information digesting in his system before he—“I was not expecting that. The closest I thought you would get is friends with benefits but a sugar daddy? Who the fuck begged on their knees to get fucked this time?”

Before you can answer, the hollering down from the hall has the both of you flinching, “Who got a sugar daddy?!”

Taehyung groans and tosses his head back, glaring at the face popping out and now seated by your other side, looking over your shoulder in excitement.

“Fuck off, Jungkook. She was just about to tell me!”

“Us,” He corrects, “Now proceed,”

“His name is Jimin and I met him earlier today by the sidewalk and—“

“You met your sugar daddy on the sidewalk?”

“Yes, Jungkook I met him on the sidewalk where the fuck do you think I was supposed to meet him? A five star hotel?”

“That would’ve been more believable,” Taehyung muses and Jungkook snorts, “I know, right?”

“Anyway,” Your voice is loud enough to get them to shut up and luckily, they do. “We’re going out for dinner tomorrow night and I don’t know what I should do,” Letting out a sigh, you look at the both of them, back and forth, “Help me?”

The both of them decide not to poke fun on this too much, Taehyung thinking of something to say, something not stupid but Jungkook’s faster, being the quick thinker. He places a hand on your shoulder, making you face him and Taehyung raises a brow to what he might propose, “Set rules of what you want. Like, what you’d do and what you wouldn’t do.”

“Ah, make sure he’s clean, too! Get tested. Together. Or not, up to you,”

“Make sure he signs it, too. Keep it valid and—“

“If you don’t enjoy it, call it off. The rules are there to validate what you’ve agreed to. If anything, we’re on your speed dials and—“

“Could you please the ever loving fuck stop cutting me off?” Taehyung hisses, to how how manages to smack his boyfriend over your shoulder and you bark with a laugh, leaning back on the sofa with your arm clutched onto the pillow, pressed to your stomach, “Oh my god,”

“I’m trying to make sure her sugar daddy doesn’t take her for granted! Most assholes are like that nowadays!”

“We don’t even know who he is!”

“Exactly! That’s why we need to be careful!”

“Oh, Y/N, I know just what you should wear,”

“Fuck me, why are we dating?” Jungkook groans, leaning back and giving up on saying anything while Taehyung hops off the sofa, patting your head and sparing a kick to Jungkook’s shin, “Shut the fuck up. You were the one who turned gay for me,”

As Taehyung scurries off to retrieve what he has in mind for your date, you only laugh at Jungkook’s reddening cheeks and snarky words, “Bitch! I’d turn gay for myself!”

There are perks when it came to having friends who are in the fashion designing course. They’d make lovely clothes with such detail that makes your eyes double over at what Taehyung had to offer you. It was one of his final projects, to which he had you model in a year ago and now, it seems like it paid off. What took him a month of planning and two weeks of execution (Jungkook almost getting a black eye for spilling soda on the fabric and him needing to reorder another roll of silk), now it fits like a glove.

You make an effort to do your make up, your hair and picking out one of your favorable shoes that wouldn’t be death to walk in. Heels are the way to go so you chose the ones you liked most. As you reach the place he’s talked off, you’re sure this is it. And boy oh boy, it’s as grand as the name itself. You’re not too sure if you know who you’re dealing with but now you most certainly do. As if yesterday wasn’t enough, this is ten times more.

The waiter smiles at you just as his co-worker opens the door for you to step through. He smiles at you and flips open his book, pen in his hand, “Hello there, miss…?”

“Y/N,” You answer, trying not to stammer and before you can mention the name you’re here for, he already gets it, “Ah, wait here. We’ll have someone show you the way,”

You try to process what’s going on, blinking at him, “I-I’m sorry?”

“This way, please,” Another voice calls for you and you try to keep up, earnestly not tripping over your heels as you walk, purse by your side (Jungkook got it during some trip, one for you, one for Taehyung). He brings you away from the big crowd, heading straight for what seems to be a private room and your heart stops when he opens the door, revealing Jimin inside looking like a fucking model that stepped out of a magazine.

He decided to drop down on his usual clothes, more for comfort but stylish nevertheless. In contrast to his black dress shirt and white coat, it’s replaced with just a white dress shirt, buttoned up to his chest, revealing enough skin and all the way down, jeans does justice to the curves of his bottom when he stands up to greet you. The waiter leaves the pair of you alone, closing the door and you step in, making your way towards him with your best not to fall over.

You reach him in time before you can make a fool out of yourself and his smile is so wide, his eyes are gone. As he puts an arm around you for a quick hug, you settle down first when he pulls the chair for you, then in as you lean forward. After a soft thank you, he’s in front of you now, on the opposite end with his eyes never leaving yours.

It’s like he’s full of surprises, much like you as a mirror and he’s not afraid to show he’s in awe with the way you look tonight. The white dress compliments your skin, the way it hangs on your shoulders and exposes a part of your back when you look around, a preview of what you have on and he knows you know when you smile back at him.

Before anything else can go on, he pulls out the menu and smiles, again, “Shall we order first?”

Taking the menu you have in front of you, this is the first time you’ve been here and you’re not too sure what to order. Blinking at the words you’ve never quite called out before, you look up to Jimin with a nervous look, “H-Hey, um… I’m not too sure what to order…”

“What do you like?” He questions, tipping his chin up, only to hear your answer of, “I like a lot of things,”

He laughs, but tries to get an answer, a narrowed scope of what he should suggest, “Any allergies?”

“No beef, no peanuts,”

“Seafood?”

“Surprise me.”

Jimin decides to do exactly that when he calls for the waiter with just a bell by the side of the table. On cue, a man walks through the door, the one that guided you here and he stands by Jimin’s side when he motions him over. Jimin orders the serving for two of lobsters, a side of oysters and what seems to be the special on the appettizer platter. He sums it all up with a nice bottle of white wine, in his favor of the year he specifies. When the door opens and closes once more, you’re left to folding your elbows on the table, keeping your eyes glued on him. He seems to take interest to do the same, raising a brow, “Yes?”

“How old are you?” The question slips out before you can stop yourself but Jimin doesn’t seem fazed. He chuckles and shakes his head, fringe brushing over his eyes as he answers, “I’m four years older than you. And you, for someone who’s quite hesitant to enter the boutique yesterday… you have quite the taste in clothes,”

Leaning back in your seat, you cross your legs and put your purse beside you, “My friend’s in the fashion design course. Considering I helped to be his model, this was something I could fit in to borrow,”

He rests his chin in his palm, finding the time to be cheeky, “With a face like yours, I would believe that you’re a model,”

“Dropping compliments now, are we?” You tilt your head at him and he shrugs, sighing, “What can I say? It’s in my nature,”

“Oh really? What do you do for a living?”

“Straight to the point, aren’t you, baby girl?” He coos, much to the pink blushing your cheeks and he chuckles as you clear your throat. “I work at a logistics company that belongs to my father—inherited and now running under my own hands. I juggle with that along with being a model sometimes, if Namjoon’s that desperate,” Squinting your eyes at him out of being playful, you tease, “Aren’t you a little successful?”

He snorts and moves his hands, resting them on his knees as he tries to remain humble, “One of the top young business leaders to enter the scene but it’s nothing, really,”

“Interesting,” You nod slowly, a smile playing on your lips and it’s his turn to flip the coin, eyeing you with certain curiosity that fills his cup, “What about you?”

“What about me…” You repeat his question, finding the easiest way to answer his question as you look up to him, “I’m currently in my final year. Scholarship on one of my two majors. Balancing two part time jobs and one side job while trying not to die halfway of finishing what I need to do to get my education,” Jimin’s mouth opens to say something, but you beat him to it, “Which reminds me,” He falls silent at the zipping of your purse and when you pull out a piece of folded paper, he only unfolds it after you slide it over and get him to read it.

It’s a typed out set of rules he has to agree with and he’s not going to lie, he’s impressed. Even with the whole ‘should I not abide by, any legal action should and would be taken upon’ and continuing on to what could happen and the consequences along with his spot to sign. He reads diligently and that’s when you know he is serious and he’s careful with everything he’s putting his signature on. Initially, there should be no flaw. But when he hands you back the paper, you notice the correction he adds in.

Frowning, you look up to him, “J-Jimin, no. I don’t need—“

“Either that or not at all. You decide,”

Seventh: Personal tutor… and gifts.

“What if I don’t want gifts?”

“What if you do?”

He sees that you’re not budging and that’s when he brings up to—“How about we leave that to be negotiable? The tutor thing, I agree.”

Biting his bait, you nod, taking out a pen to sign your name down, “Fine.”

Jimin does the same, with a smile and a fountain pen, “Great.”

Then there’s that—it’s done.

Well, and dinner is served.

Once full and sweetly taken in the dessert Jimin calls for after knowing your liking for ice cream, that’s when the bottle of wine comes down to nothing, empty as it clinks on the table and Jimin’s looking at you like you’re the first woman he ever saw. You refuse to let go of eye contact, a little hazy with the alcohol infused in your veins but it’s not too much where you miss the hint of arousal pooling in his eyes.

“Shall we head back to my apartment?” His voice is husky as each word grates past his throat and whether it’s him making you feel hot and bothered right now or the wine, you don’t know. You don’t care. “Yes, god, yes.”

During the ride back to his place, he does the little things that make your heart race even if you think it wouldn’t. He has a hand on your thigh, soft and gentle as he rubs his palm over the silky material of your dress. The low rumbling from the radio does nothing to calm your erratic heartbeat but when Jimin ever so casually spares you a glance every now and then, it seems to have an effect on you to calm down. He smiles at you and if that wasn’t enough to set your heart to a flight mode straight to the sky, you don’t know what is.

You hadn’t realize you’ve reached the destination until Jimin makes a move to give you a squeeze with the remaining hand on you. Flinching, you turn your cheek to come eye to eye with him. Since when did he lean in so close? His breath hitches but he doesn’t make a move. Instead, he gives a nudge with a light line over the tip of your nose with his own, his voice coming out in a soft whisper of air, “We’re here,”

Gulping, you regain composure and place your hand on his, giving it a nudge to have his palm slipping away and he catches the hint of skin that shows as the hem of your dress slides up. He’s certain he knows what you’re doing to him when you sway your hips with an extra twist as you stand up. His brows perk up but before he can savour the tinge of tease you’re seasoning him with, he gets a grip on himself, scoffing a laugh as he watches you get out from the car with minimal effort; standing in heels before you toss your hair over your shoulder as you look over it with a cheeky grin, as well as making his heart thrash from left to right with hard beats.

He’s following your cue to get out and he wraps his hand in yours naturally that it makes your head spin, dizzy from how tonight is filled with circles connecting one another to complete perfection. It’s more than you can ever ask for and for a brief moment, walking with him into the building with his smile curved up to please, you almost forget the initial reason why you’re here. But you can pretend for a while, right?

To be frank, you were rather nervous. Despite guidance from Taehyung (a hint of sass from Jungkook) and the preparations taken with the rules sealed down, it was hard to keep calm. Sure, you’ve had sex before. Getting paid and offering your body in return after? That was something new. Still, you keep to your youth and your will to show him you’re one hell of a surprise to begin with. And it seems like he’s on the same page without words when the both of you step into the confinement of his apartment.

From the dark walls with the pure white leather sofas lined up, your jaw drops. The chandelier hangs beautiful in the middle, dazzling lights twinkling as the moonlight glistens around the diamond carvings. The choice of white tiles is perfect with the slick, black marble tables of his choice—a square coffee table directly below said chandelier, lightbulbs hanging through the column of the corridor down to where you exactly think it leads to.

You had braced yourself for his place to look expensive, extravagant even but not to this extent as the splashes of gold compliments the black almost every corner you turn to, which is pretty much really. Jimin lets out a soft chuckle as he stares at your reaction. After putting your heels aside and closing the door, he thought you would’ve gotten used to it. But as he stands beside you, mischief eyes and a smirk, not yet, as it seems.

“I’ll take it as you like it?” He muses, velvet voice singing into your ears and it sends chills down to your spine, keeping you upright as you turn to look at him, “Please excuse my language but holy fuck this place is gorgeous,” You’re back to being in awe, much to Jimin’s laugh that echoes and bounces off the walls, into your ears that you repeat once more as your fingertips brush over the cold stone of a beautifully sculpted dragon beside you, “Fucking amazing…”

Jimin gives you a couple more seconds before he decides it’s time for you to have the stars in your eyes for something else rather than his furnishing and the interior of his apartment. He silently steps behind you, taking you by surprise when his arm is strong against your waist, yet with a certain delicacy that offers you a leeway to take charge. His fingers strum up to your hip, his other casually slipped into his pocket as he murmurs into your ear, “Let’s not get carried away now, shall we?”

You feel his chest tightening when you snicker, but he’s relaxing in an instant when you lean back, making sure the curve your back and all the way down touches somewhere Jimin’s confined for far too long since dinner. He gasps as you press yourself to him, voice breathy as you look over your shoulder, spelling them out on his lips and Jimin only wonders if he’s ever felt this hot and heavy before during his youthful years, “Bedroom.”

“Fuck me,” Jimin grunts, unable to resist the urge to twist you around, pressing his lips to yours with such urgency it’s making your stomach churn, toes curling with excitement. His arm remains against the lower of your back, right above your waist to lever you down as he parts his lips and drawls his tongue out on the seam of your lips. He feels your grin before you grant him permission to kiss you deeper and with the leg that trails up his ankle, over his calf, up to his thigh as your legs hug him closer, he stutters and his teeth clicks with yours. Chuckling, you sling your arms around his neck, tugging his collar down, revealing enough so you can attach your lips to his skin. He gasps, an arm keeping you near, his other hand raking through your hair as you start to suck and nibble on his flesh; the mix of purple and red threatening to form as you murmur in between, “C’mon, handsome. This is your apartment,”

Growling, Jimin gives a tug on your hair enough to make your stomach clench. A mewl drawn from your lips as he pins you with eyes filled with lust and need you can’t resist. “Jump,” He orders, hands already flicking your dress up, enough for your legs to move freely. His arms come around to steady you as you do as you’re told. Legs wrapped around his figure, steady hands balancing you carefully as if you’re a fine piece of china he can’t bear to break, he’s the one trying not to break as he makes his way to his bedroom. For a moment, he goes blank and forgets how to coordinate his body when you’re doing things that makes his head suffocate in the haze of pleasure. Your tongue licks a stripe on the skin of his neck, hips rutting in his that gets him to stop walking. The slam against the cement of the wall has you whimpering, despite the material of the dress softening the impact, the exposed part of your back regrets being out in the open.

“Keep doing that and we’re going to play dirty, baby girl,” He grits past his teeth, hot and heavy breath after breath and his half-lidded eyes drives you insane. Much similar to your bruised lips and teary eyes from the pleasure, yet, fearless like your age as you lean forward to coax him out with your lips on his. He groans, pulling you off the wall, resuming his pace towards his bedroom and he signals the arrival when a door clicks shut behind the you.

Again, if he had assumed this was going down the way he wanted like in the movies, he had another thing coming.

As he settles down on the bed, seated, your hips encasing his the way it should be, his eyes snap open as your lips detach from his and you’re on your feet. His hands move faster than his mind, grasping onto your hips, “H-Hey—“

“I’m not going anywhere,” You assure him, in a voice that’s thick as honey, smothering down his lips and over his jaw before he looks at you with a panting chest. Easing your hands on his shoulders, you give him a short massage to get him to relax, in which he does when his breathing regulates and his eyes are dark as the night as he stares at your every move. When you have him where you want him, which is now, beneath you and staring up to you for mercy, it’s where it starts; the point of beginning and there’s no going back.

One of your hand trails up to his black locks, running your fingers through them and the other snaking down to his chest; voice of pure sin as it slithers into Jimin’s ears, spelling out the meaning of eurphoria with light, taunting touches.

“So, do you remember what the rules are or am I going to have to repeat them for you… Jiminie?”

He gapes at you taking charge, daring to call him with a nickname out of nowhere despite him being older and just getting comfortable. Either way, he doesn’t seem to mind, legs propping open wider, head tipped up to match yours lingering down as he voices out what he thinks. “I believe I’ve got everything in check…” His hands trail up to your bottom, gripping onto your cheeks firmly as he smirks at your moan, head falling back. “…but a reminder couldn’t hurt,”

Oh, it’s going to hurt. You smirk, keeping your thoughts discrete with your plan as you’re quick to reincorporate with his gameplay. Balancing one hand on his shoulder, you reach back for one of his, drawing it up to reach the zipper of your dress. His breath hitches as you make him drag it down in a tantalizing pace, yet, your voice filling in the spaces between when it’s starting to get quiet. That’s the last thing that’s going to happen tonight.

“First off,” Jimin reaches the end as the words roll off your tongue and he can’t help but stare as you force his hands to follow yours, peeling the clothing off starting with the straps from your shoulders. You hadn’t notice how cold his fingertips are but they’re easily heating up when they graze over your skin, scraped off like wildfire when the lines slide off and they hang around your waist, revealing the lacy lingerie you had put on for him. He’s shameless as he stares at what you have to offer; white wrapped around the crevices and Jimin licks his lips in anticipation. He’s about to touch but just as he does, your hand grabs his chin, directing them up to your eyes as your voice is apprehensive, his dick kicking at the bass of your tone, “You fuck me and only me,”

He resumes what he has in mind, taking over briefly as he drifts his hand down, squeezing your breasts generously and it hikes up a whine of his name. “Second,” He rasps, swallowing any doubts and he’s swift with his clothes, completely removing his dress shirt; unbuttoning one and pulling it off his head when he’s gotten that out of the way. He takes pride in his body, smirking at the way your hands nimbly brush over the expanse of his chest, down to his abdomen and then to the line of his jeans. When your eyes wander a bit too far where he want you to, it’s his turn to cup your chin, nudging it back up as he lines his eyes straight to yours with a look so intense, you feel your knees buckling, “You fuck me and only me,”

The feeling is mutual when you’re nodding, dropping to your knees and guiding him to get his jeans out of the way. When he’s flicked his belt open, he straps it off and tosses it to the side, the clink hitting the floor reminding you of what’s left undone that you continue speaking. “Third,” You rise up to your feet when he shimmies his jeans off, with your guide to tug them off and to the side where it’s out of your reach. You’re about to finish your sentence but he decides to stand, maneuvering you around to push you down onto the bed and you’re having quite the view as he drags his underwear down and off, his hard length smacked to his stomach almost instantaneously after. He’s thick and with a length you know you’ll enjoy, the licking of your lips has him chuckling as he strokes your cheek with his hand, gazing into your eyes lovingly as if he’s not bare and hard for you, “You were saying?”

“G-Getting tested. Together,” Your words are barely audible but he catches the words as he hums, stalking off to the drawers and pulling out what you assume is a condom. When he returns, he drops the packet at the sight of you with your lingerie in your hands, following where the condom lies when your fingers release the lacy material. He gapes, eyes widening at your bare body glowed with the moonlight. Your eyes point at the shiny silver packet on the floor and he picks it up hastily, stumbling back to you and tackling down on the bed with his lips desperate to kiss you.

He moans when you rake your nails down his back, his lips kissing you everywhere possible when he travels down your body, worshipping almost every part as he goes. He stops at the spot where you want him but he doesn’t give it to you until you continue speaking, “Fourth,” Your breath almost gets stuck in your throat when he hums, sliding a finger into your wet heat and you’re going delirious. Jimin seems to adore the way your back arches, voice hoarse and your hand coming down to his head for support, “F-Fuck, Jimin—four…“ Your voice trails of a bit, out of track before you gain some senses to continue speaking.

“Fourth,” You repeat, just as he’s adding another finger, pumping in with ease and you cry out when his fingers glide in with minimal effort. He rises up to your body, fingers hooked inside of you as he kisses your cheek, his other hand pinning you down by the waist as he continues to prep you, sliding his fingers in and out as he murmurs, “Go on, I’m listening,”

You clutch onto his wrist, forbidding his hand from continuing just to get out in a rushed breath, past your heavily blushing cheeks and sweaty skin, “Aftercare is essential,”

“Of course,” His words are promising, actions even more when your grip loosens and he shoves in three fingers to stretch you nicely, voice pitching up through the cry of his name as you grab onto his shoulders. He circles an arm around your waist to hold you there, his fingers never stopping to get you wetter and his movements are languid, pace kicking up in speed to have you whining in his neck, thighs trembling. He slows down to let you breathe, your chest expanding as he leans to press his forehead on yours to say, “Fifth—kinks are talked of before proceeding. Consent is needed,”

Mustering a cracked okay past your sore throat, you kiss him and he gladly obliges, removing his fingers and you feel him searching around your lower region with moist fingers. You’re about to question him, or in this case, maybe state out another rule but then he touches you right there and your body surges through with pleasure. He grins when he manages to find your clit, using two fingers, the lubrication of your arousal to press tight circles and it’s making your jaw grow slack, “J-Jimin!”

“Sixth,” He ignores your pleas, the desperate clutching on his shoulders as he gets you to speak, “What’s the sixth one, baby girl?”

Your eyes clench shut when he rests his thumb on your clit, three fingers used earlier to dive in past your folds and you’re in the verge of tears as you choke on your own voice. He shows you a bit of mercy, easing his thumb movements to slow rubs and his fingers stilling from inside, allowing you to think straight. Past your blinked tears and stained cheeks, you look up to him to murmur, “A-Any day is fine, except—“

“Thursdays,” He finishes for you, maybe to showcase that he truly cares and listens but you don’t question too much on it, until he adds in, “Double shifts, I know,”

In the midst of heavy breathing and reddened skin, you manage to smile at him, the same time he does to you as if his fingers isn’t in the middle of fucking you ready, “You remember,”

His brows does that thing—raising a little out of cockiness, remaining the humble side of him when he doesn’t overdo it. He reminds you of the current situation and that’s when your hands fall to grasp onto the sheets instead (whatever this is made of, you’ll apologize for being too rough on it later). His thumb harshly digs into your clit and his fingers curl where his fingertips brush upon a spot that has your voice ragged, in contrast to his smoothly filling your ears, “I take this very seriously, don’t you know that?” He puts emphasis as he gives you thrusts with the flick of his wrists.

“Oh God,” Your hand snatches onto his, away from your folds as you look up to him, “I do know I’m gonna come if you keep doing that,”

“And what’s wrong with that?” He cocks an eyebrow, only to have it falter when you smirk because he’s not the only one with confidence to dirty talk, “Wouldn’t you want me to with your cock?”

“Fucking—“Jimin doesn’t even finish his sentence, moving around to grab onto the condom where he rips the packet apart without hesitation, the foil coming off and the latex rolling on as you taunt him by dragging your fingers on his thighs, which they flex under your touch and you gasp. He turns back to you with a gaze so lustful, your lungs contract at the lack of air, mouth agape as you grab his neck and lure him down to kiss you, supply the air you need to breathe. He steadies himself with a grip on the headboard, his other lining himself up and just as he slides in, he presses his palm down on your stomach the same time you press your lips up to his.

Moans are exchanged, tongues mingle with one another as your hands slide up his thighs to his waist, holding him there as he reaches all the way in, deep in you, lips no different as he kisses you fervently. Your hands move back up, one resting on the spot on his shoulder, the other raking up through his hair and then tugging him back so you can speak, “Seven,” You exhale deeply, trying to adjust to his size, making it seem like him being balls deep in you isn’t anything sinful at all as you try to get the words out right. His eyes widen, dilating with the need to listen when this isn’t part of the rules.

“No gifts. I just want a personal tutor,”

His hold on the headboard releases, so he has a hand to brush the hair away from your face, his hovering above yours as he says, “We didn’t exactly agree on that. What if I want to get you a tutor and buy you gifts?”

“Doesn’t work that way, old man,” You grunt, legs wrapped around his figure, using the heel of your foot to knead into his bottom to get him growling, “I’m only four years older,”

“Still older,” You poke your tongue past your lips, that like a switch completely loses humor when he tests what he’s up for with the rolling of his hips, a little reminder that he’s in you. You whimper when he pulls out, clenching around nothing but air until he slides back in, grasping onto your chin and tilting it down so he can kiss you again. Again and again as he thrusts harder and faster, to the point where you’re about to forget everything and anything, tossed into the oblivion except for the letters of his name when they fall out from your lips like a symphony.

He holds down your wrists by the sides of your head and that slowly transitions to his hands slipping into yours, fingers coming between as you rock your body up to his, meeting each thrust halfway that drags Jimin’s jaw down to moan your name into the air clouded with sex and heat. You can tell past your half-opened eyes when he pulls away, thumping his forehead on yours, his pace relentless as he chases for your orgasm, that he wants to speak. But when you’re clenching your walls down on him, moaning his name in a voice that cracks his train of thought, he’s losing it.

But he’ll make sure you’re losing it first.

His hands pry away from yours, sweat trickling down your temples and he wipes them away before he glides his hand down between your bodies. You’re holding onto him, hands clutched onto his shoulders that escalates to nails down his back then arms around his neck as he reaches for your clit once more. You cry out when he has the nerve to lazily nudge his thumb on your clit, cursing into his shoulder, biting his flesh before you payback with a harsh clench that gets him riled up to the edge.

He picks it up, rough thrusts and rigidly grinding his thumb harder until you feel nothing but his touch, his cock thrusting in and out and him, him, him. “J-Jimin—I’m gonna—oh fuck!” Jimin seems to understand what’s about to happen; the telltales of you coming as your thighs quake, the grip around him contracting and the erratic clenches of your muscles as Jimin fucks you through to pleasure. You spill and coat him with your release and Jimin doesn’t think he’ll ever get a better sight of you thrashing beneath him, moaning his name out and the syllables travel straight to his cock as he pulsates inside of you. He stutters on his thrusts and that’s when you find the strength to flip him over despite how strong he is and from his protest, it snaps into a sharp cry when you sink down on him and get him to lose control.

With a few precise rolling of your hips, he comes with a loud moan when you punctuate your words: come for me, Jiminie, each syllable milking his release until Jimin’s letting out a string of profanities in various versions that has you chuckling as you ride out your highs. His room gathers the sound of heavy breaths and slick movements of skin upon skin that slide with the ease of sweat. Even with that, neither of you move, Jimin growing soft and a mess of residue left on his bed but he doesn’t mind.

He takes his cue to roll over on his bed, slipping out from you as he bends down to kiss you. It brings a smile to your face, lethargically kissing him back as your hands come up to frame his face with such delicacy in contrast to how you were gripping and scratching him a moment ago—and in this case, Jimin likes both. A smile forms as he pulls away, locking eyes with you and it’s hard to keep up but you do when he spares you one more kiss on your lips.

You realize he’s speaking once he gets up from his bed, removing the used condom into the bin and returning with a damp cloth after. Still, he notices how you don’t decipher his words even after he chuckles, so he decides not to speak about it just yet. He gets you clean, warm and purring out of delight. He pulls you to the spot on the bed that’s slightly cleaner and tucks you in his arms after. The blanket comes of your naked bodies and Jimin rests his chin on your shoulder, firm chest pressed up to your back as your limbs tangle together. Your hands slide over his forearms and you look over your shoulder, finally processing his voice as he repeats what he said not too long ago.

“Eight, I’m paying whatever that’s left for your tuition fees,”

Eyes growing into confusion, lips curling to a frown, you lick your lips and turn around in Jimin’s hold, to which he still keeps his arms around you, “J-Jimin, no. No, I can’t accept that—“

“Either that or gifts. Which one would you prefer?” You forget that you’re dealing with someone who’s mighty good in persuasion and that you can’t quite argue with him even if you wanted to. Although he’s given you reasons not to reject, it’s hard. Money doesn’t fall from the sky and you’re certain Jimin’s taken quite a while to gathered up the amount he has now. Doesn’t matter if he has a mountain or a swimming pool filled with checks, you can’t.

“Jimin… I really, really can’t… The tutor was our agreement,”

“So was the gifts,” He pins you with a look, one that you pout at with hands gingerly playing behind his neck, “But the tutor was practical… gifts are not…”

“They are to me,” He speaks up, nudging you closer and planting a tender kiss to your forehead that you can’t differentiate if he did that out of affection or if he wants to make you feel better. Either way, you’re not complaining. “So here’s what. I’ll pay for your fees, limit to getting you gifts once a month and you can pay the tutor on your own. Sound fair?”

Grinning, your eyes curl up to something Jimin thinks is one of the most endearing things ever; the way they disappear when you smile too hard, your arms slipped around him tight as you lean into his shoulder. He gladly welcomes you in and kisses the side of your head. He strokes your hip with his fingers, then smoothening over your skin on your back all over as you take in deep breaths, fanning his neck. He leans back and the last thing he sees before he closes his eyes is the beauty of your smile playing on your lips.

#network bangtan #bts scenarios #bangtan bookclub #jimin scenarios #park jimin #jimin #sugardaddy!jimin #this still makes me happy #after 4 years who would've thought i'd reupload this #i'll edit this later but for now i'll leave this here because my goodness #oh mY

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cutesuki--bakugou · 5 years ago

Text

Times Two

Your husband is cloned by a quirk and you just so happen to love that. So what do you do? The only thing that makes sense, of course.

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Sex (anal and vaginal), DP, foreplay, blowjob, throat fucking, vulgar phrases and words Words: 4681 Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki (x2) x Fem! Reader

a/n: I’m sorry if it’s a bit confusing to tell the difference between clone and real Bakugou. I have it set up like Bakugou = Real. Katsuki = Clone. The reader specifies it as well to try and clear some stuff up. But yeah, this is the naughtiest thing I’ve written in a while and I took some risks, hopefully it works out and y’all enjoy it! Don’t forget to read past the “Read More”!

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Edit: I forgot to add the anon that requested and inspired this lovely idea, I’m sorry! Thank you so much for sending this in! (⋟﹏⋞)

Being married to the explosive Bakugou Katsuki, there is very little that surprises you. That man, as hot headed and rough around the edges as he could be, was always surprising you in one way or another in the forms of sentimental gestures and words that no other person alive was ever meant to hear. Along with being married to him, you were more involved in the life of pro heros than you ever really expected to be, as in his late twenties, he was very quickly becoming a prominent name and popular icon. A new quirk or odd behavior was always expressed to you by him when he arrived home, as he always had something new to rant about. But this… this was not something that you were familiar with. The fact that you were staring at two sets of glaring crimson eyes made you almost feel faint, tempted to shut the door and reopen it just to make sure you weren't hallucinating.

“Katsuki…” You stared up at the one you assumed to be the original, as he was dressed in the clothes he had left in that morning, while the other was in some outfit you had never seen before. “Why… What- I mean… There are two of you.” You gestured from one to the other and back again with an accusatory pointed finger, gaining an annoyed and almost simultaneous click of the tongue from both blondes before you.

“No shit.” The original barked in an annoyed huff, placing a rough hand on your arm to urge you out of the way so they could enter. You followed direction, watching them shuffle in through the door before shutting and locking it into place.

“How are there two of you? Why are there two of you? Which is the real one?”

“I am!” With a point to his own face, Bakugou glowered down at you, the familiar snarl and wedding ring on his finger calming your initial fears. The other Bakugou, who stood awkwardly off to the side, wasn’t wearing a ring and he also gave off a different… energy to the original. It was obvious that he was confused and out of place, though he glanced around at both the environment and at you with a sense of familiarity. Before you could really even say anything else, your husband snatched you by the arm and dragged you off to a different room, making you stumble over your feet for a second before catching your footing.

“No need to drag me around Katsuki—”

Bakugou brought a finger to his lips, hushing you with an urgency that spiked a bit of annoyance in you. All you knew at this point was that he had better start explaining himself quickly before you got frustrated, and the look on your face must have told him that as he began to spill his guts to you.

“Sorry. Look, while I was out at a call, a villain touched me and used their quirk on me to try and catch me off guard. It didn’t work, but it did make him. He is literally me, down to memories and feelings. We have to get rid of him!”

A frown crossed your lips as you glanced out of the doorway, seeing the clone wander about while looking at pictures along the wall. “He’s… not having like a crisis or something? I’m surprised he’s not upset.”

Bakugou shook his head, letting his hands fall down your arms to tenderly hold your hands. “After the villain was caught, she explained her quirk… They may be exactly like me, but they won’t ever realize they’re going to fuck off when they fall asleep. Fuck off as in… turn into a doll. And even though he has all my memories and shit he’s… very compliant.”

“Hm… When he falls asleep he’s gonna turn into a doll? Why don’t we just let him hang around until night time, and he’ll go to sleep. I don’t want you to attack him and knock him out or anything… That’s so mean.” You squeezed his fingers as you tried to have him understand your point of view. “If he’s literally you, then he probably feels really comfortable here. What a shame for his final moments of existence to be fear or pain.”

Bakugou glowered down at you, obviously annoyed with your empathy. “So what, you want to invite him to have dinner and watch TV with us and share our bed?”

“It’s technically his bed, too. He’s you.” You gave a very nonchalant shrug, ignoring the frustrated furrow of your lovers brow. “I don’t want you to hurt him. We should make his only day alive something enjoyable. Let’s go talk to him.”

“Babe—” Bakugou sighed as you walked away from him, towards the clone that instantly peered down at you curiously. He seemed genuinely happy at the smile on your face, and though you could tell he wanted to, he was reluctant to touch you. Fiddling with your nails as you came to stand in front of him, you gave a small cough to clear your throat, glancing back at the real Bakugou as he glared at you from his spot learning against the doorframe.

“So, uhm…” You began, turning your attention to the Bakugou in front of you. “Things can get a little confusing I think, so… How about I call you Katsuki, and him Bakugou.” As you addressed them, you gestured to them, feeling your cheeks flush a bit at how ridiculous you sounded. “I’m used to calling him Katsuki, but it’ll be okay for now. I’ll try not to get you mixed up. Deal?” You glanced back again at Bakugou who merely shrugged in an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ manner, while Katsuki in front of you gave a calm nod.

“Sure, [Name]. I, oh fuck, sorry—” Having unconsiciously placed his hand on your arm, Katsuki quickly pulled it away as you gave a small flinch in surprise. With this, you saw a flash of confusion and defeat across his face, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to do that. Well, of course he hadn’t. To him, you were his lover, his wife and you loved each other fiercely. Physical touch was important between you and Bakugou, and so you knew that it was just as important to Katsuki. Still, you felt conflicted yourself. You could feel the tension from behind you, fuming off of your husband like it was a tangible object. A clone of himself or not, you knew that he wasn’t going to just let another man touch you.

Deciding to change the subject, you motioned towards the bedroom with a small nod of your head, prompting Katsuki to follow you. “Come on. How about you both get comfortable and we can, uhm… Make dinner, I guess.”

Bakugou pushed himself up off the doorframe, entering the room before either of you. “I get my tank and shorts, got it?!”

Katsuki scoffed, reaching behind him to pull his shirt up and over his head. “Whatever, I don’t give a fuck, I’m not going to fight with myself over clothes.”

“Hey, hey, chill. Please.” You placed a hand on Bakugou’s arm to calm him, though by the click of his tongue you got in response, it didn’t work. “You have plenty of clothes to share. Just pick an outfit.” At this point, you already felt like you were babysitting, taking a step back as the two grown men bickered over what comfortable clothes the other wanted. Though, their huffing and puffing wasn’t really what was on your mind. Looking at them, both shirtless now, you felt a heat spread through your cheeks and down to your toes. You had two versions of your husband in your house, both of them who knew who you were and loved you equally. One was definitely in a better mood than the other, but that only made it better.

You couldn’t stop the thoughts and visions flashing through your mind of both men pleasuring you from all sides, one fucking you from behind while the other made you gag on his cock. They were identical, down to the scars and minute imperfections on their skin. You couldn’t resist the sinful thoughts, especially as they continued stripping and changing. The instant Katsuki’s gaze landed on you, catching you staring, you took in a breath and shuffled away, mumbling something about having to go to the restroom. Shutting the door a bit too loudly, you leaned against it, placing a hand on your chest as you tried to calm your heavy breathing and racing heart.

You almost lost it there, [Name]. You gotta calm down, there’s no way the original is gonna fall for a threesome. But this is a once in a lifetime thing! To be fucked by double Katsuki’s… What a dream—

There was a sudden rough knock on the door, startling you so badly that you almost screamed out loud. Heart now racing even worse, you took a few deep breaths, opening the door to peek out. You could instantly see that it was Bakugou, his wedding ring gleaming against the light as his hand came to rest on the door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, babe?”

Opening up the door just a bit more, you allowed him to stand halfway inside so you could whisper to each other. You kept yourself close to him, tenderly caressing his upper arm as you let out a trembling breath. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just… This is a lot to take in all the sudden in a… different way.”

“Different way?” With a cocked eyebrow, he glanced over your body, noticing the timid stance and erect nipples behind the thin cloth of your t-shirt. Your flushed face and pounding heartbeat were dead giveaways as well, though instead of his usual smirk at realizing your current state, he narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you horny?!”

“Shh!” You reached up and covered his mouth, standing on your tiptoes to look out and make sure you weren’t being listened to. “Don’t say it so loud.”

“So you are.” Bakugou continued when you removed your hand, giving a small shrug. “Well let me in there, we’ll fuck real quick and get to— ah, wait!” Now, he shoved himself the rest of the way inside, shutting the door behind him. In the same moment, he pressed you up against it, forcing a gasp from your lips as his leg wedged firmly into place between yours. He liked to do this, pin you up against whatever solid surface he could and tease the hell out of you, until you were writhing and begging for him to fuck you. Though, this was a bit different, as his glare showed little signs of the typical lust you were familiar with seeing.

“You little slut. You want to fuck both of us, don’t you?” With your hard swallow and guilty gaze, a smirk finally crossed his lips, gripping your chin to force you to look up at him. “I should've known you were going to be like that. You’re so obsessed with the way I fuck you, there’s no way you wouldn’t want it from two of me. What were you thinking, hm? A cock in your ass and your cunt?” His hand began to travel down your body, teasing you with just a hit of that rough touch you craved. “Like hell I’m going to share you with anyone, not even a version of myself.”

“Why not, Katsuki?” Your eyes darted from his face down his his hips, able to see his erect member pressing against the fabric of his sweatpants. “It would be fun. And so sexy… imagine me, kneeling on the floor, face covered in your cum. Letting you take turns fucking my throat.” Clutching onto his shirt tightly with one hand, you let the other slip between your bodies, slowly and firmly palming his member through the fabric of his bottoms. “You’re already rock hard thinking about it.”

“You think you could handle it?” Bakugou pressed his leg further up between yours to press against your sex, prompting you to eagerly grind your hips. “I leave you ruined just on my own. I don’t think you’d be able to take it. You’d be begging for mercy.”

“You underestimate me, love. The only thing I’d be begging for is more.” You tugged him in closer, catching his lips in a heated kiss. In that same second, you were in his arms, pressed up against the door. Keeping yourself latched to him with your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, you sighed softly at the feeling of his member pressing into your sex, wishing despirately to feel him inside you. While one arm kept you firmly in position, the other hand was free to roam, his rough and calloused palm sliding up your bare thigh. His touch was like fire, telling you just how seriously turned on he was, too. Just maybe you could get him to agree… after letting him have a little fun on his own first.

“Please,” you moaned breathlessly into the kiss, reaching down between your bodies to slip his manhood free from his clothes. “I need to feel you inside me. Right now.” As you moved your poor excuse for pajama shorts and underwear side, Bakugou complied, shifting your body just enough to slip himself inside you. You felt every inch of your body tingle in excitement and pleasure, your heart racing at the sound of his groan against your cheek. He may have teased you about being obsessed with the way he made love to you, but you knew that he was just as addicted. Even though he put on a tough show, you could easily make him do whatever you begged for, like he was wrapped around your little finger. A simple touch or glance could have him immediately wanting you, and now that you had him this far, you knew that you could weasel your way into adding another cock to the party.

You didn’t have much time to contemplate exactly how you would pull that off, distracted as he began to thrust his hips, fucking you at a rough and hard pace that made the wooden door at your back sqeak and rattle with each movement. Every inch of him vanished within your depths with each stroke, fogging your mind to everything but the irresistible pleasure. You were so engrossed, in fact, that you didn’t hear footsteps approaching the door from the other side, only able to focus on Bakugou’s lips and teeth against your skin.

Suddenly, you felt an emptiness at your back and a wash of cold air swallow you both as the door to the restroom was swung open rapidly. With a squeal from your lips and a sharp inhale from Bakugou, you began to tumble backwards at the loss of support. Though, just as soon as it had gone, it was back again, though the presence that you found your back against was more familiar and warm than the cold wooden door. You were now pressed against Katsuki’s chest, his hands gripping onto your upper arms tightly to support the weight of both of you.

“Hey, what the fuck?!” Bakugou barked at his mirror image, glaring at Katsuki over the top of your head. “Get that smirk off your face asshole, who the fuck invited you?!”

“[Name] did. You think I didn’t hear you two talking in there or could tell what she was thinking?” Katsuki’s hands slid under your arms, gripping and squeezing your breasts roughly. You couldn’t resist a soft gasp, the mutual feeling of Bakugou inside you and now Katsuki’s hands on you making your head swim. “I saw her staring at us. Just like you, I know exactly what she wanted. And you weren’t exactly subtle, fucking against the door like that. It’s like you wanted me to notice.”

Trembling, you clutched onto Bakugou’s shoulders tightly, lightly rocking your hips to move him within you. “You two stop fighting and just fuck me already!”

Bakugou complied without a moment's hesitation, using Katsuki’s leverage to keep you stable. Your voice squeaked out in pleasure as you laid your head back, catching Katsuki’s gaze. The lust in his crimson glare was so clear, feeling a heat rush to your face as he smirked against your cheek, one hand coming up to wrap around your throat. “That’s it, babe,” He hissed in your ear, making your heart flutter violently. His other hand left your breast and vanished elsewhere for a moment, and you could only hope that he was preparing himself for what you wanted most. “You’re such a naughty little bitch. Tell me what you want.”

As Katsuki’s lips came to hover near yours, you could feel it, the hard presence of his cock against your ass as it bounced with Bakugou’s thrusts. The fire inside you began to swell, unable to tear your eyes away from your lovers clone and his hypnotizing crimson glare. “I-I want you both! I want your cock in my ass— ah!” Your voice squeaked as Bakugou increased his speed and roughness, pulling your attention to him.

“Beg harder, babygirl. Beg like the cock hungry slut you are!”

You knew exactly how he wanted you to talk, how filthy he wanted you to be, and it wasn’t something you were going to resist. “P-please, fuck me in my cunt and my ass! Fill me up and use me!”

Again, your pathetic excuse for clothing was moved aside, with Bakugou pausing just long enough to let Katsuki sink his length into your ass. You and Bakugou were no strangers to anal sex, so it wasn’t as if that was what shocked you. No, it was the feeling being completely full, not a single inch of you untouched. There was new pleasures you had never felt before, the heat inside you almost unbearable, and yet, you loved it. Pressed between these two men, who were alike in every sense of the word, cocooned you in warmth, bringing an odd sense of sleepiness to your mind. That is, until they began to move, very quickly finding a rhythm. They didn’t alternate like you expected. Instead, they matched each others pace, making you melt into puddy in their hands.

Trapped in their arms, you couldn’t move, only able to anchor yourself to something with your hands, which clutched onto Bakugou’s shirt and shoulders. Just from the look on his face, you could tell that it felt different for him as well, though in what way you couldn’t really imagine. All you cared about was the fact that he was enjoying it, and so was Katsuki from the groans and soft curses you heard near your ear. Within no time, you could feel it, the pleasure building into a ball in your core, until it exploded in a rush of moans, trembling and uncontrollable jerks of your body.

“Oh fuck, babygirl, that’s it,” Katsuki purred in your ear, both men having to stop from the pressure of your contracting walls. “You’re such a good girl.” Through your panting and soft gasps, Katsuki turned your head with a push of his thumb, catching your lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth instantly, forcing you into that submission that you loved and leaving you breathless.

“She’s gotten off too easy,” Bakugou huffed, removing himself from inside you and leaving you aching for his return. “Put her ass on the bed.”

Complying, Katsuki released your lips and removed himself from you as well, taking on the full weight of your body to walk you over to the bed. Dropping you onto the mattress, you bounced with the impact, gazing up at both men expectantly. Smirk on his lips, Bakugou removed his shirt, coming to stand at the side of the bed. Without questioning or waiting for instruction, you scooted your body closer, instantly taking his hard and throbbing cock into your mouth as you rolled over onto your stomach. Propping yourself up on your arms, you lovingly tended to his member, running your tongue along the underside and stroking him with that firm grip you knew he loved. With a pleasured sigh, Bakugou ran his fingers through your hair, stopping at the base of your head to apply pressure to keep you from going anywhere.

Taking a curious glance up at his face, you could instantly tell why, his gaze following Katsuki as he climbed onto the bed behind you. Eager hands gripped your ass, squeezing and spreading you open, even though you still had your shorts and underwear on. “What a filthy little slut you are, drenched through your clothes like that.” A hard smack to your ass followed his words, making you squeak and unconsciously take Bakugou’s cock deeper into your mouth. After another rough slap, your clothes were pulled down, leaving you exposed to him. The chill of the room was short lived as he slipped his cock between your legs, urging you to squeeze them together before he began thrusting his hips. The way his cock stroked against your clit sent tingles across your skin, your moans muffled by the dick in your mouth. The more pleasure you received, the more you gave, turning Bakugou into his own panting and grunting mess.

Eventually, with a tight grip of your hair, you knew what was about to happen. Removing your hands from him, you kept your mouth and head loose for him, allowing him to thrust his hips. He was going slow at first, like he usually did, soaking in the feeling of his tip pressing into the back of your throat. You could barely register the sounds coming from behind you, merely following direction as you were told to squeeze your thighs together tighter.

Bakugou scoffed, glaring at his clone with a smug smirk on his lips. “What’s wrong, you fucker? About to cum already?”

You gave a muffled squeal as Katsuki increase the roughness of his thrusts, feeling yourself about to peak again just from the stroking of your clit. “Whether you’re in or not, she’s going to be covered in cum by the time I’m done with her. I’ll cum as many times as I fucking feel like.” With a shuddering of your body as you came, you were given some reprieve from the cock in your mouth to breathe, fighting between coughing and moaning as you stroked Bakugou’s length in the meantime. As you were still cumming, you felt a hot release all over your legs, listening as Katsuki grunted with his own release. It coated your thighs and cunt, surprising you a bit with how much there seemed to be. With a heavy sigh, Katsuki took a moment to recover, spreading his cum across your pussy with his thumb. “What a pretty sight.”

Before you could even think of a response, Bakugou forced his cock back into your mouth, fucking your throat at his own pace and roughness. You couldn’t even react to the sudden feeling of Katsuki’s cock sinking into your pussy, fucking you from behind at an equally rough pace. It was exactly as you had imagined, a mixture of pleasure and pain that had your eyes rolling back, once again completely at their mercy. Every inch of your body felt more sensitive than it ever had before, even your nipples as they scraped against the fabric of your shirt enough to add to the pleasure.

“You want my cum all over your face, babygirl? Or do you want to swallow it?” Bakugou didn’t give you any chance to even answer, coming to his own conclusion just from the pleading furrow of your brow and tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You wanted to feel it on your skin, to have him dirty you up as his counterpart had. You wanted to feel the heat of his essence on you, to watch his face as he jacked off on your face. So, that is what you received, with Bakugou removing himself from your mouth at the last moments. He gave you just enough time to open your mouth wide, catching what little bit of his cum on your tongue that you could while your body rocked with Katsuki’s thrusts.

Leaning his head back as he came, Bakugou’s smirk spread, watching your body for a moment before he gripped your chin, giving Katsuki a quick glance that told him to stop. The clone did so, slowly removing himself from within you before filling you back up again in slow and teasing thrusts. Using his thumb, Bakugou spread his cum across your cheek and to your lips, allowing you to lick and suck it off his fingers.

“You like the taste of my cum, don’t you?”

“Yes,” You answered breathlessly, staring up at him through blurry and teary vision. “I love it. I love your cum—” Your voice hitched as Katsuki removed himself from your pussy, sinking his cock instead into your ass as deep as it would go. Once done, he grabbed your arms and shifted your positions, laying down as he pulled your body back against his. Understanding, you kept your legs open and displayed, panting as you smiled up at Bakugou.

“C’mon, love. I want you both to fuck me until you’ve had enough. I told you I could take it.”

And so you did, for hours you were treated how you had wanted to be, subdued and ravaged until your limbs were sore and body was sticky with cum and sweat. Both men had plenty to give and were just as eager to pleasure you, giving you everything you had ever wanted out of the experience. When you finally had enough was in the shower, as Bakugou enjoyed using the strongest setting of the removable shower head on your clit while they both fucked you mercilessly. You were positive that you had never had such a powerful orgasm, even sure that your mind had gone black for a few seconds as you came, pressed between their bodies just like when you had started.

Now cleaned and so worn out you couldn’t quite move your legs, Bakugou carried you to the bed once dried off, shoving the dirtied comforter off the bed to leave mostly clean sheets for you to lay on. As he sat you down, he softly moved some hair out of your face, kissing your lips sweetly. “How was that, you stupid girl? Got your fill?”

Smiling, you shook your head, gaining a confused cock of his eyebrow. With a wave of your arm to call Katsuki over as well, you patted both sides of the bed. “I want double cuddles.”

“At the same time?” Both men huffed in similar tones simultaneously, making you giggle.

“Yes! C’mon, lay with me.”

Giving each other annoyed glances, both of them crawled into bed on either side of you. While you stayed on your back, they both squeezed in close, with Bakugou’s face resting in your hair while Katsuki pressed his lips against your cheek, showering you in soft and gentle kisses. Your heart fluttered from the sweet affection of both men, feeling for the moment that you were the luckiest woman in the world. Even if it was just for the evening, having two living version of your husband there to love you was something that you would never forget. It was sad to lose one of them, which was the particularly more affectionate one at the moment, but at least you had given him an enjoyable existence.

“I love you.” You spoke softly, already beginning to feel sleep pulling at your mind as you reached up to softly stroke both of their cheeks.

“I love you, too.” Both spoke in unison, filling your last waking moment for the evening with a fluffy and warm sense of love that would carry you on into your dreams.

#cutesuki-lemons #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x reader #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #xreader #request

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danyka-fendyr · 5 years ago

Text

Absence of Good - 8

Chapter Eight: Despair and Devotion

I’m so sorry this took so long to get out everyone! I’ve been doing literally a ridiculous amount of traveling lately, what with COVID-19 and all the travel plans I had even before the outbreak. Suffice it to say, I’m extremely exhausted as I post this, and I haven’t edited it at all so I deeply apologize for any spelling mistakes or any other errors. Thank you so much to all of you for being so patient and waiting for me! (Also yes I did just watch Emma and it shows okay?)

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @rhabakoli @alwaysadreamingoptimist

AoG Taglist: @pancakefancake @prettyboyspenerrr @youreasnack @alioop3818 @newtslatte @rathersuspiciousbumblebee

Wordcount: 3773

Warnings: None! This is mostly fluff. Some vague references to PTSD.

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” ― Jane Austen

You rolled over in your bed, trying to fall into the spot of sunlight you knew would be painted over your sheets at this time of morning. Though you were only vaguely aware of what time it was, it was probably about an hour before you were actually supposed to wake up, your mind just starting to stir again. Instead of encountering your usual sunny spot in bed though, you found an entirely different source of warmth.

You cracked your eyes open in confusion. Dr. Spencer Reid was lying in your favorite pool of early morning sunshine, and you felt a brief moment of panic strike its way through your chest before doing an evaluation and realizing that you were both fully dressed and furthermore, had remained sober last night. It came back to you as you looked at him, remembering that he had helped you inside as you broke down crying and a very sleepy, very compromised version of your current self had begged him to stay with you.

Was that bad? It was probably okay to platonically sleep with your coworker, you reasoned. Nothing had happened. You hadn’t even thought about it happening. Maybe under other circumstances you would have thought about what a nice mouth he had or the look he got in his eyes when he was concentrating on something or his hands, which were very nice hands, you had to admit-

Oh gosh. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. This was a terrible idea, and had been a terrible idea before you had even had the idea, before anyone in the history of time had ever had an idea. You had to get out of here, right now.

Except here was your apartment, which was also a problem. Which meant that Spencer had to get out of here right now.

You shook his shoulder, pulling him out of his sleep. You almost felt bad for doing it, having noticed the dark circles under his eyes on more than one occasion. He looked so young and sweet in his sleep too. Spencer always had a boyish quality to him, but in his sleep it only increased, the concerned wrinkle in his brow falling away to a soft little half-smile that made you wonder if he was dreaming, and if he was what about.

That only increased your urgent need to get him out of here and awake though. Your half-asleep mind was still compromised, and your traitor fingers were itching to swipe across the velvet of his mouth, to gently push back the locks of hair falling into his forehead. All of which you had certainly never thought about before.

“Spencer! Wake up!”

It took a moment, but gradually he complied, honey brown eyes emerging only to be lit up by the morning sky.

“Hmmm? Oh, Y/N.” He smiled hazily. “Good morning.”

You suspected he hadn’t forgotten a single detail of what had happened last night, what with his eidetic memory, so you didn’t bother giving him a recap. Instead, you launched plan “Get Spencer out of here immediately” into action.

“We’ve got work in 2 hours. You have to get out of here,” you said, all brisk business to counteract Spencer’s alarming lethargy.

You had never seen the man relaxed, and he chose today of all days to appear pleasantly drowsy, of all things.

“2 hours? I think we have a little bit of time.” Spencer chuckled, raising his arms above his head, the muscles in his arms tugging his rumpled white dress shirt up to reveal the surprisingly toned planes of his stomach.

Which you were not thinking about. Which you were under no circumstances even contemplating contemplating.

“Well, you live 20 minutes from here, and you’ll need clean clothes and-”

Spencer cut your frantic ramblings off, seeming confused by your concern as he sat halfway up.

“I have clothes in my go-bag. What’s the matter?” A look of concern settled into the muddy depths of his eyes, and he reached out to pull you closer, one warm hand wrapping securely around your elbow. “Did you have a nightmare?”

You felt that tugging in your chest again, that longing, that need to just fall into bed with him. To take a sick day. To take 12 sick days. To lay in your bed with Spencer and never ever leave, just stay there running your fingers through his hair, tracing the veins in his arms. All things you absolutely could not do.

“No,” you said quietly, unable to stop staring into his eyes, entranced.

He leaned forward, and you caught a whiff of him, the smell of mostly coffee with something else a little bit woodsy left over from some aftershave or cologne he must wear.

“Then what?”

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and your heart did a little tap-dance in your chest.

I need you to leave because I want to kiss you desperately, but I can’t.

“I’m afraid if you stay, I’ll get too attached. You saw how I was last night. I’m…unbalanced. And if you stay, I might start relying on you, and I can’t do that.”

One full truth in exchange for the absence of another.

“Relying on me how? Relying on me for help? Being willing to come to me when you feel ‘unbalanced’? Because I want that, Y/N. I want you to come to me.” His voice was soft, low.

You were so screwed.

“It’s a bad idea,” You whispered, still not looking away.

Then he said the worst thing he could have possibly said to you at that moment, when you were already so weak for him, so tantalizingly on the edge of something equally dangerous for both of you.

“You think I don’t need you too?”

Sometimes I need you so bad I can’t breathe because of it. Right now, right now I need you so bad I can’t breathe because of it.

“We’re not supposed to. We’re not supposed to need each other. What if something happens?” Still, you were leaning towards him, falling forward like gravity was playing some kind of sick game with you.

“It already did. And maybe it makes me selfish, but I’d rather have as much of this as I can get now instead of waiting for something terrible to happen again.”

Did he even know what he was saying? What he was implying? How good his mouth looked when he was saying those kinds of things to you?

Okay. Just kiss me, and I’ll forget everything. I’ll forgive you for every selfish sin you’ve ever committed if we can make this one of them.

“You should go.” You had never sounded less convicted of anything in your life.

Spencer faltered, and immediately you regretted the words when you saw the flicker of pain race through him. The way his hand fell from your face, the way his eyes fell to the sheets to hide how much you had wounded him. And before he could speak, you desperately scrambled to say something, anything to make it better, and said the one thing you probably shouldn’t have, if only because you meant it.

“I don’t want you to, though.” Another correction would be necessary for that kind of truth, and you frantically changed your mind again and tacked on a new amendment. “Which is why you should.”

He was looking up at you with a blazing hope and determination now, though.

“But you don’t want me to?”

Not even a little bit. I’ve never wanted anything less.

“Not even a little bit. I’ve never wanted anything less.”

You shouldn’t be allowed to speak words before 7 AM.

“I know how to make pancakes,” Spencer offered.

“I like pancakes.”

“Okay. Good.”

Then he got up out of your bed which immediately made your life slightly easier because at least he’s no longer just lying there in your bed looking beautiful.

While Spencer made pancakes, you hurried to get dressed, tying your hair up into a bun and abandoning the thought of anything more fashionable. Most of your makeup was just a touched-up version of whatever ended up smeared all over your pillows last night.

“You know, in the U.S., the most pancakes are eaten in the South. They make up 32.5% of pancake consumption in America.”

You laughed a little bit, unable to stop yourself from smiling at him. It was a little bit blissful having him here in your kitchen like this, making you pancakes for breakfast. You were allowed to have this, right? This little bit of platonic intimacy?

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“Well now you do.”

You kind of thought he smiled like an angel.

You stole the finished pancake straight out of the pan from him, and he gave you a playfully disapproving frown.

“Hey! I wasn’t done with that!”

You hopped up on the counter beside him and took a bite out of it, ignoring how hot it was in your hands.

“Tastes pretty done to me,” you responded cheekily.

He reached into the cupboard behind you, knowing in that creepy way that he knows everything exactly where your plates were, procuring one for you to place the pancake on. You set it down, looking up only to find yourself in a very compromising position. He was so close to you, and he wasn’t moving away. He could kiss you if he just leaned a little bit farther forward. You wanted him to kiss you. Does he know that too? Does he know where you keep your secrets just like he knows where you keep your plates?

“We can’t do this again,” you said, your voice coming out pleasantly firm for the first time this morning.

“Can’t do what?” He pushed hesitantly.

“We’re colleagues. You making me breakfast is weird. Besides, we wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, right?”

His posture went stiff, and he pulled back further away from you, the space between you freezing over.

“Right. I should go get dressed for work. We have to go soon.”

He disappeared and you took another bite of your pancake. It was cold.

You made a point to arrive separately from Spencer, but the second you walked into the office you knew it was pointless because there he was being cajoled by Morgan about how he was wearing his go-bag clothes and therefore must have gotten laid last night, and then you locked eyes with the very wise Jennifer Jareau and you could see that she knew. She could see the messy traces of your hastily corrected makeup and she knew exactly where Spencer was last night.

You needed to fix this. Now.

“I’m going to go grab some coffee. Missed my usual stop this morning.” You made pointed eye contact with her.

“I could go for some too,” she said, casually following you.

You had been out of hearing range for maybe a second before she asked the obvious question.

“Did you and Spencer sleep together?”

“Sleep? Yes. Anything else? No.”

“So, he stayed at your place but nothing romantic happened.”

“Why do you sound so skeptical?” You scoffed, pouring coffee into the Styrofoam cup you had grabbed.

Jennifer grabbed your arm, making direct eye contact with you.

“I sound skeptical because I’ve known Spencer for years and I’m a profiler, which means I know that he’s in love with you, and you’re in love with him.”

It was a shot in the dark, and it just happened to hit you right in the heart.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, adding cream to your coffee now.

“Cut the crap, Y/N. If you can’t be honest with him at least be honest with me.”

“Fine. I think I might love him. He’s the best man I’ve ever met. I am absolutely not allowed to love him. Are you happy now?”

“Why aren’t you allowed to love him? I mean, there are the obvious reasons, of course, but there are ways to get around those. Those are just excuses. So, what’s stopping you?”

“An interrogation over my morning coffee. How lovely.” You forced your voice to be breezy, light.

It didn’t work on JJ, though. She just waited, knowing that sooner or later you would break the silence.

Your hands were shaking as you stirred the cream in your cup.

“I’m not in a good headspace for that kind of thing right now JJ. I’m all messed up, and I don’t want to mistake feelings of being grateful to him for feelings of love. He’s helped me more than anyone can know but I don’t want to get it all mixed up. I can’t love him like this.”

Another moment of silence lingered between the two of you before JJ spoke, solemn and quiet.

“Are you afraid you can’t love him like this or are you afraid he can’t love you like this?”

Your hands locked up around the stirring stick at her words, jaw clenching around the truth. Maybe she was right, but that didn’t mean you didn’t hate it.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him, Y/N. I know that you cared about him before this. All I’m saying is…don’t let something bad ruin something good. I know what it’s like to think your trauma defines you. To feel like you’ll never get past what he did to you. But if you let him stop you from doing what makes you happy, he’s still winning.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” you spat. “You have a husband and 2 sons who love you that you go home to. You have a life and a family and friends.”

“You have friends too. You’re not alone in this. We love you. All of us, not just Spence. Just…don’t stop yourself from being happy just because you’re afraid.”

You took a deep breath. Willed yourself to relax, to listen to her words. You knew that she did know something of what you had gone through, had endured her own torture over the years. Unbidden, an image of Spencer smiling at you, flipping pancakes over your stove popped into your head, and you felt that increasingly familiar jump in your chest.

“What if he can’t love me like this?” You whispered.

“Then the rest of us will.” With that JJ squeezed your hand, poured herself a black coffee and walked away.

You stood there for a moment longer, a bit frozen as you stared down into your cup, something that didn’t escape Spencer’s notice.

“Hey, you okay?” He said, approaching you.

“Remember how this morning I said that we shouldn’t do breakfast anymore because we’re colleagues and it’s weird?”

“I have an eidetic memory, Y/N. Yeah, I think I remember,” he joked, though you could tell it pained him a little bit to do it.

“Do you agree with that? Do you think it’s weird?”

“Well…I’ve never really been what people call normal, so I guess I’m not a good gauge of what’s weird or not,” he said, dodging the question.

“Did you disagree with me when I said it?” You wanted so badly for him to say that he did.

“I…no. I know most colleagues don’t have breakfast together. I mean, not in that sense. Plenty of professional relationships involve various different meetings over food, breakfast being slightly more casual than, say, a lunch meeting-”

“But did you want to do it again anyway?” You interrupted.

He paused to think, chewing on his lip nervously.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. It was nice.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” You smiled at him.

“You…you thought it was nice too?” His doe eyes went wide with surprise.

“Yeah. Can I uh…can we take this somewhere a little less crowded?” Your eyes darted around the bullpen.

“Uh, yeah,” Spencer said, his voice doing that nervous thing where it jumped up an octave, making you hide a smile behind your hand. “I think Garcia’s office might be available?”

“If it isn’t I’m sure she’ll make it available. She owes me a favor since I let her eat all my Red Vines.”

“Do you even like Red Vines?” Spencer asked.

“That’s for me to know and Penelope Garcia never to find out,” you said, setting a quick pace towards her office.

Spencer had no trouble keeping up, his long legs tripping over themselves less than usual as he followed you. His body could never seem to decide whether it was going to have the grace of a gazelle or the clumsiness of a newborn foal, but today he strode with purpose across the less than pristine tiles of the Quantico floors.

You threw open the door to Garcia’s office without ceremony.

“Garcia we’re appropriating your office, leave now and do not breathe a word of this to anyone or I swear I will steal all of your candy until the end of time and also tell Hotch about that thing you texted me last week.”

Garcia froze in her desk chair. “You wouldn’t. Not the thing!”

“Yes. The thing. Now get out!” You gave her a stern look, then softened. “Please.”

“Alright, alright, it’s all yours. Just be quick about it why don’t you?” She poked her head back through the door even as she was closing it, neon headband a glaring indicator of her continued presence. “Oh, and also? I knew it!”

You could hear her cheering as she closed the door, and you groaned.

“So…you wanted to talk?” Spencer prompted.

“Ummm…yes.” You looked up at him, suddenly regretting your impulsive urge to tell him anything.

What had you been thinking?

He stepped closer to you, and for a minute your heart beat far faster than could possibly be healthy before he sat down in Garcia’s desk chair. The light of the computer monitor glinted off of his hair, and you got the overwhelming urge, not for the first time, to run your fingers through it. Taking this under consideration, you realized JJ was right. This was not a new thing. Truth be told you had been attracted to Spencer for forever and a day, you had just been…afraid. But if you could survive a near-death experience you could survive a little rejection, right?

“I’m going to say some very crazy things now very fast and I want you to listen before I lose my nerve. The truth is I was so nervous this morning because I was trying really, really hard not to kiss you and I was still definitely thinking about doing it. You have this like, aura about you, do you know that? Like, “hello, yes, I’m your friendly neighborhood sexy genius here to make your life harder by not only being smart and hot but also, to top it all off, nice!” Which is very rude of you, in case you were wondering. And so like, naturally I’ve had a crush on you since basically I met you, but then last night you were just…so good to me, and you’re just such a genuinely kind person, and it sort of hit me that I never want you not in my life? And then I woke up next to you this morning and I was like, ‘holy crap, I think I’m in love with him,” which I’m sure you realize was a very startling realization for me, and super not allowed with our jobs and everything, so…I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you and I’m really sorry about it.”

Spencer had been staring up at you with something that resembled awe as you made your way through your rushed confession, but when you finished, he smiled.

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” He stood from Penelope’s chair, stepping towards where you were leaning against her desk.

“Because that was all kind of fast and uncalled for and I know you don’t feel the same, so this was sort of a really crappy thing to do to you.”

He slipped a finger under your chin, tilting your head up to make you look at him. “How do you know I don’t feel the same?”

You could feel his warm breath on your face, brushing against your lips, and you fought the urge to kiss him once again.

“I just…assumed?”

“Well, you assumed wrong, because the second I realized there was a chance you might not be in my life because some psycho took you away, I also realized that I never wanted you not to be in my life. I wish I could explain it better, but I’ve never been very good with words that didn’t involve statistics or oddly specific information. You like Jane Austen, right?”

He knew, of course, that you did, because he knew everything you had ever told him about you. You nodded anyway though.

“’I cannot make speeches, Emma…If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.’”

You kissed him then, unable to resist it. Sunk your fingers into the twining grasp of his curls and tasted him, breath wild and heart running rampant. His hands wrapped around your waist dug into your hips and pulled you flush against him, where you stayed even after you broke off the kiss.

“Maybe it makes me selfish, but I want as much of this as I can get,” he whispered, paraphrasing his words from earlier.

“Okay,” you breathed, indulging your earlier thoughts. “Just kiss me, and I’ll forget everything. I’ll forgive you for every selfish sin you’ve ever committed if we can make this one of them.”

He did, kissing you hard and heavy, something frenzied to the way he held you like any moment now, something would try to rip you away.

“That’s what I wanted to say,” you murmured against his lips. “This morning, when you said that. That’s what I wanted to say.”

“I wish you had. Then I could have had this sooner.” His grip on you loosened, allowing him to pull away to smile softly at you.

“Yes, but we never would have made it out of my apartment,” you said casually, before slipping out of his grasp and out of Garcia’s office, a smug little grin on your face.

Spencer was left to watch you walk away, looking like the cat that ate the canary. It was going to be a long workday.

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” ― Jane Austen

#criminal minds #spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid series #spencer reid oneshot #matthew gray gubler #mgg #jennifer jareau #criminal minds fic #absence of good #AoG #spencer reid imagine #david rossi #derek morgan #penelope garcia #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss

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izzy-b-hands · 5 years ago

Text

Our House

Eugene is away on business for a few weeks, and they’ve both wanted bits and pieces of the house fixed up/changed.

Snafu can do that all on his own, right?

Important lessons about home improvement and how it is a fickle beast below the cut!

At the end, re: wine, I’m basing their reactions off of what wine does to me (makes me sleepy af and basically useless if I have more than a glass or two.)

Also, I did get a weird headache mid-writing this so hopefully it sounds decent and I didn’t accidentally a word anywhere (I read over it for a quick edit, but y’all know I’m notorious for still missing mistakes until three days later.) If y’all do notice something off/an error on this, please let me know so I can fix it asap!

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

The three weeks marked on the calendar had seemed long, in the days prior to them. He’d spent those days moaning to Eugene about how difficult it would be, and how long the weeks would take to pass.

They hadn’t felt long enough now though.

The bedroom was done, at least, in a cheerful, soft, pastel yellow. A pastel sage green trim made the whole room feel like spring, at least to Snafu. Eugene would love it, that much he knew for sure.

“He ain’t gonna love the rest of this though,” Snafu sighed, and took in the rest of the house as he walked through it. Eugene would be back in a day, and he had so much left to do:

The kitchen was missing half the cabinet doors, which were outside near the shed, halfway to being refinished, varnished, and repainted a light rose pink with white accents. He had never realized just how many cabinets they had until now, and it seemed like too many.

The guest bathroom had yet to be retiled, though the tiles were sitting ready for him to put down.

The guest bedroom was waiting to be repainted a greyish green, but he hadn’t had time to even crack the paint cans open.

And finally, and perhaps worst, the living room was...

“A fuckin’ disaster,” Snafu muttered to himself as he walked into it, carefully. The repainting of it to a plum had gone just fine. However, a bit of paint had gotten onto the velvet chaise lounge they’d recently bought at a flea market. They were going to reupholster it anyway, why not do it now to get rid of the paint?

Snafu shook his head at the memory of asking himself that question. From there, he’d been on a search for a nice velvet to replace the original that would also match the walls, and be to Eugene and his tastes. Easier said than done, and made all the harder at the realization that some of the wood flooring had, at some point, somehow been damaged (maybe when they’d moved in the lounge? He couldn’t be sure.)

Which meant of course the wood flooring needed to be repaired, which was...a task, putting it mildly.

“How the hell am I gonna finish this?” Snafu asked Queen, who was preening on the leftover velvet for the lounge.

She rolled over and turned away from him, still preening with one paw.

“Exactly,” he sighed, then traipsed into the front hall, sitting onto the first step of the staircase to the upper level. “I just gotta make a plan, right? I mean, he might not even notice the guest room; I can paint that later. Bathroom might be an issue, but we don’t even use that bathroom that much, I can hide the tiles. And how often does anybody really look at a cabinet, like really look, ya know?”

Queen looked over, sighed, and closed her eyes for a nap.

“Right? I don’t look at cabinet doors, that’s for sure,” Snafu continued. “So that just leaves the living room, and the living room-”

The front door creaked open, and he just barely resisted the urge to bolt.

“Hey! Is Eugene ba-what in the everloving...” Sidney froze in the doorway, staring at the living room mess. “So, he isn’t back yet then?”

Snafu shook his head. “Nah, or I’d be dead.”

“He won’t be that upset,” Sidney soothed. “I know you mentioned you were doin’ some work but...damn. Hey, nearly done though, really. Just the chair there, and the floor some, and-”

“Most of the rest of the house,” Snafu interrupted. “I got a little ambitious.”

“How ambitious?” Sidney asked gently, and joined Snafu on the step.

By the time Snafu was done regaling him with everything that needed doing, Sidney had gone pale.

“That’s maybe a little too ambitious indeed, Snaf. But, I admire it.”

“And now you’re headin’ on home, right?”

Sidney frowned. “Hell do you mean? I’m gonna help you get done whatever we can. We’ll call Mary, she can come by and help paint, and help you with that lounge. Between the three of us, we can get some of it done at least.”

Snafu stared. They were friends more for Eugene’s sake, rather than to actually be friends (if anything, he got along better with Mary.) There was nothing wrong with Sidney, they just hadn’t clicked in any major way. But it was moments like this he was grateful they both put in the work to become better friends, because what was a good friend if not occasionally a home improvement knight in shining armor?

He hugged Sidney tight, until Sidney finally tried to wriggle out. “Thank you. I know he wouldn’t actually kill me-”

“He doesn’t even like raising his voice to you,” Sidney interrupted. “Every time y’all argue, he calls me and says how bad he feels about any shouting. And I highly doubt it’s even really ‘shouting.’ But you might have earned it this time, though I would defend you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. This was done with good intentions, to give him a nice surprise to come home too. Not your fault home improvement shit never goes right,” Sidney replied. “Come on, get up. We got a long night, and I still gotta call Mary.”

Once Mary was over, it was shocking how fast it all seemed to go. It wasn’t that Sid and Mary rushed him or their own tasks, just that it seemed...easier. The house was warm and loud (as well as the backyard for the last few hours of daylight, while he and Sid finished up the cabinet doors, leaving them painted and drying near the back door) and with the dog and cats occasionally peeking in to check on them, it all felt lively and just good. Better than it had felt for the weeks of being empty except for himself and the pets.

It was six in the morning when they gave up, and, and Sidney put it “had to accept it for what it was.”

Which wasn’t terrible, all things considered.

The last bit of the living room flooring had been fixed up, and the lounge reupholstered thanks to Mary’s endless hard work on it.

The guest bedroom might need another coat, but it was at least mostly done, and the animals had been kept out of it so the door could be shut, keeping the paint fumes mostly confined to the hall near it.

The guest bathroom still had some tiles to finish putting down, but it was about halfway done, and that was a hell of a lot further than Snafu had figured they’d get.

The cabinet doors still needed to finish drying and be actually put back onto the kitchen cabinets, but they looked damn pretty.

They cleaned up, and settled in to wait for Eugene.

And waited.

“He would have called by now,” Snafu muttered, after four hours had passed from when Eugene was supposed to be home. “I should go down to the station, see why he isn’t in yet. Maybe he meant for me to pick him up and forgot to say...”

Sidney shook his head. “That ain’t Eugene. He has a checklist for his checklists; he would have told you. At least four times.”

Mary nodded. “Do you have a number you can call him at? Maybe his train got delayed and he’s still at his hotel in, where was it again he was going?”

“Atlanta,” Snafu replied, and walked to the phone with them and three of the cats on his heels.

He wasn’t at the hotel, nor at the train station in Atlanta. Nor was he at the train station in Mobile, waiting to be picked up.

“Merriell, don’t panic,” Sidney said softly as they walked back to the couch, and Sid using his proper name was enough to send him spiraling.

“What if he’s hurt, what if something happened? I should have just gone with him, y’all could have looked after the pets, and I could have found somethin’ to do in Atlanta while he was busy. This is my fault.”

“How on earth is this your fault?” Mary asked. “I’m sure he’s just fine, probably just...held up, somehow. Who knows, maybe he just can’t catch a cab to the station.”

“For four hours?” Sidney scoffed, then winced as Mary slapped his arm. “I mean yeah. You never know. Could be a cab driver shortage...”

He expected them to leave, but they stayed even as the day wore on into the evening. Mary eventually got up to check on the paint in the guest room, and when she didn’t return, Snafu figured it was dry enough for the final coat. Sid followed shortly after in getting up, and the sound of the back door opening and closing let him know that the cabinet doors were apparently ready to be put back in place.

Meanwhile, he waited and watched the phone.

“Snaf, I’m sure he’s fine,” Sidney said as they finally slipped on their shoes and retrieved their keys from the front hall table. “Somethin’ silly just held him up, and he’ll be rushing in here before you know it. Let yourself get some sleep, okay?”

Mary nodded, and turned to the door, only to nearly be smacked in the face by it as it swung open.

“I am so sorry,” Eugene was a mess, hair clearly unbrushed, clothes wrinkled, and eyes wild. “Are you okay? Why are you two here? I mean, I don’t mean that like; you just don’t live here is what I mean-”

“Gene,” Sidney said gently. “Shut the fuck up and breathe for a minute. What happened?”

Eugene sighed, kicked off his shoes, and moved past them to drop on the newly upholstered chaise lounge. “Snaf, it’s for you. Got it sitting outside. It’s wrapped up, but take a look. Hopefully you like it, and then we can bring it inside. Thought we could hang it in here, on the-did you paint in here?”

Snafu ignored Sidney’s face-palm and Mary’s shaking head as he headed outside. Just by the front door, was a too-big-for-one-person-to-carry framed canvas, bits of the golden colored frame sticking out from under the brown paper wrapping. And under the paper...

“Those are our babies!” Snafu crowed, and ran back inside, nearly knocked the lounge back as he dropped onto it to hug Eugene. “You had to have commissioned that ages ago, to get them pictures of the cats and God knows how you got a decent one of Ack-Ack, and when did you do that?”

“Soon as they mentioned they might need me to travel,” Eugene replied. “Called around, found a local artist, sent the pictures along in the mail whenever I got a chance that you weren’t paying attention. Thought it would be a way to make up for me being gone, but gettin’ that thing in and off of a train was something else, and then they nearly didn’t want to let me on, and-”

Eugene shrugged. “But I made it. And it made it. You like it?”

“I love it!” he buried his face in Eugene’s shoulder, hugging him tight again and taking in everything about him again, how he felt, the scent of his cologne. “But you better not be goin’ anywhere for awhile regardless. I can tell you later, but I-”

“You two are absolutely meant for each other,” Sidney laughed. “You with the picture, and this fool...he redid half the damn house while you were gone. With our help, though we were happy to do it. That lounge you’re sittin’ on?”

Eugene looked down at it as he moved out of Snafu’s embrace as if he was seeing it for the first time. “This wasn’t green velvet when I left.”

“No, no it wasn’t,” Mary smiled. “But it is now! And wait’ll you see the rest of it, he worked hard. Ran out of time, but he worked hard.”

“How much did you try to do in three weeks?” Eugene laughed, though his smile drooped slightly as not one of the three of them answered.

“Tell you what,” Snafu replied after a moment. “We get that painting inside, hung up, and have dinner. And then I’ll tell you all what I did, and how I owe our Sid and Mary a very big favor for it, starting with a late dinner tonight if you both want to stay.”

“...Everything is one piece, right?”

“Except for the tile of the guest bathroom, yes,” Sid interjected. “And if you’ll have us, we’d be happy to stay. Can get that last bit of tiling done with Snaf before we go.”

“I like it! And we’ll have a bit of wine to celebrate your being home,” Snafu said to Eugene, and kissed him before hopping off the lounge and towards the kitchen. “In fact, wine first, picture hanging, then dinner, then tiling?”

“Sounds like a dangerous combination,” Eugene said. “But why not, if we’re celebrating. How badly can it turn out?”

Two bottles of wine between them all, and the rest of the night later, they managed to get the picture inside and resting safely against a wall in the front hall, and the guest bathroom was left mercifully untouched by any drunken work.

Despite it, Snafu had never been happier. Eugene was home, there was good food, good wine, good friends, a gorgeous gift, and the house looked lovely. He couldn’t ask for more.

#text post #LeeH writes #Sledgefu

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the-canary · 5 years ago

Text

Sugar, Sugar - B.B (2/2)

Summary: Babe, you got a killer smile! And though you might have lost it along the the way, a certain photographer is trying to finally set that straight. (Modern!Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: “Me? I’m scared of everything! I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life…. the way I feel when I’m with you!”

A/N: This is for @interestedbystanderwrites writing challenge. made some edits to the quote, which is in bold.

Feedback is always appreciated.

There are just some things that you have to admit to yourself in the long run.

Deep down, you know that you love modeling and it’s probably for all the reasons Bucky had talked about as well -- the clothing, the stories, the potential for it to be something more had always attracted your attention. However, the problem was clearly you.

There was always something wrong with you -- too thin, too tall, too short. People always listed off a hundred reasons why they didn’t want you and whatever money you did manage to get… well, you never saw a penny off it.

You were a flavor of the month until you weren’t needed anymore and as much as your struggled and hated yourself for it -- you still loved fashion and all that came it. And as a result, you did the best you could to keep it in your life in little ways.

A dress here, magazine there. Somehow, managing to befriend Sam and getting to see all his exclusives firsts, but even now the story was still the same.

“At least, she isn’t dried up and bitter!”

You’re old news that none is ever going to what to look into. People like you don’t have a comeback story in the second half of their life, and you had just wished you had stayed in your old book shop like you were supposed to.

Instead, you’re trying your hardest to hold back the tears as you take what little you brought and try to head to the States.

It would be easier to forget all about this and him, eventually anyways.

———–

Natasha doesn’t take the news of you leaving in the best way, because she thought everything was perfect -- the clothing, the location, the story, her!

There was only one rock that made the clock of her new editorial stop ticking and was starting right at her. Disheveled hair and sad blue eyes are a familiar story her, but not the smell of alcohol on him nor the whimpering tone of how he says her name in the aftermath of it all.

So, she screams in her best commanding voice which reverberates within the tiny hotel. Her secretaries that searching anywhere that they remotely think is related to her. Sam is already at the end of the other line, caught between talking to her and trying to call you. All that is missing is one final piece, as glaring green eyes looked at the man before her.

“Fix yourself and comb through all the places she has been near here,” Natasha all gut glowers at the man as he shakes his head in affirmation.

Years ago, she might have laughed at the thought of Bucky in love, but at the sight of him and all that she might lose--

Barnes,” she states like hell hath no fury but her own, “If we can’t find her before tonight, I’ll make sure you never work anywhere else ever again.”

Blue eyes widen, driving him out of his pity party as he leaves the room. They both know she isn’t just saying this for the magazine, but for a certain heart as well.

Thus, Natasha starts calling in some heavy favors to find her lost model.

———–

SAMMY: Hey, where are you?

SAMMY: ARE YOU REALLY GONNA THROW THIS AWAY? When you’re so close...

SAMMY: Hey...I know you’re stronger than this.

All messages have been left on read.

———–

It’s been five hours since that first meeting. Since he had showered and shaved, Bucky had been looking through three for her. He had gone back to the all the shooting sights and areas were they had just hung out together during their time in London, but no such luck.

The only thing stopping him from thinking that she hadn’t already left the country is that Nat or even Sam would have called him with the news. So, he had to keep looking. He had to try to fix this.

Near the fourth hour and when he finally decides that there is only one lead he hasn’t exhausted as much as he hates to admit.

It had been the cause of your whole fight to begin with, but he had nowhere else to go. Bucky walks to the corner cafe and he glances through the window to make sure that a certain blond is there, which he is.

Bucky can only let out an annoyed sigh as he pushes the door open.

———–

“Have you tried checking out the London Library?” the blond asks during his break, as Bucky frowns, “She’s been meaning to go there.”

He doesn’t want to than the skinny no-good barista, but Bucky silently does when he sees that you are sitting on the stairs of said library not that far away from the hotel. You are sitting with a little rolling suitcase at your side and a book in front of your face. To be completely honest it’s the loveliest he’s seen you because you’re still here.

You might be angry or feeling completely empty, but you were the sweetest thing he knew in a long time. In his complete loss of you, he ends up murmuring your name rather loudly, which causes you to look up with a startled look on your face. You get and stand on the stairs, ready to move as he gets closer to you.

“Wait,” he lets out breathlessly as you glare at him, “Please, just give me a minute.”

You don’t say anything, but look at him with those eyes that he saw in that jilted lover shot. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. They weren’t--”

“No,” you stop him. Blue eyes look at you with a question, “You might have been right about some things. I took this job for a reason--”

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted to prove to myself that I could still do this,” you remark with your voice colder than he had ever heard it, “I know I can still do this. It’s just that things got in the way.”

Bucky lets out a little chuckle: “Me? I got in the way?”

You don’t say anything as Bucky gets close and into your personal space before adding in: “Have you ever thought that you’re just afraid of the rest of the world?”

“Me?” your voice cracks lightly, “I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I’ve done, of who I am. And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this and never feeling how I do here for the rest of my whole life--”

About the way I feel when I’m with you!

However, the last part of everything you have been meaning to say doesn’t leave your lips, as you simply pick up your suitcase before turning back towards the general location of the hotel without another word.

Bucky just stands here dumbstruck at everything you had admitted before following you, wishing that you had just hit him with a book instead.

———–

“I’m sorry,” is what Natasha hears come out her mouth when she comes back -- shoulders drawn back and a weary smile on her face. Bucky is hot on her heels, but the air that used to be around --of shy, budding lovers-- is gone, “It won’t happen again.”

The aura around her is to familiar and Nat can’t help but frown, because this isn’t how she wanted her star to be like -- cold and distant is too familiar to the rest of the fashion world. However, she can understand the use for it as well, especially when it came to someone like James.

“It’s all right,” she remarks with a nod, “Just don’t let it happen again.”

Her starlet nods shyly for a moment, as hope rises in Nat’s chest for just a moment.

She’s still in there and as Nat and Bucky share a look, they both realize that they have to bring her back. Not just for the rest of the shoot, but because they both love her that way as well.

———–

Two days and nights of re-shoots to make sure everything is ready for the rescheduled opening night. While, it wasn’t the best thing to do in the long run, it was best to be late rather than sorry. It’s the two of you and the rest of the little crew running around London in utter silence, as the two of you barely talk anymore.

“Make her look sad,” Bucky states while playing with the camera, as the make-up artist walks over to you, “Put some tears in her eyes.”

“There’s already tears in her eyes,”the man yells back as Bucky looks up. You don’t say anything.

“You’re certainly the actress, aren’t you?” Bucky lets out without any feeling.

Your eyes met his as you simply shrug before wiping the tears away. You turn back to the makeup artist without another word.

———–

Utter silence is what Natasha is met with when she enters the little dress up room in the back of the gallery where they will finally be showcasing all their work. However, while she should be happy and proud of everything that they had accomplished in such a short amount of time, but instead one half of her dream team was unresponsive and the other was missing.

“You know,” Nat starts off as she looked at her through the mirror, “When Sam suggested you, I was sure he was trying to make a joke.”

She frowns for a moment, though it quickly fell back to its blank countenance. Nat kept talking: “But, here you and James proved me wrong.”

She stays quiet, as Natasha keeps talking as their eyes meet for a second: “I’m not saying that he was right in whatever he said to you that night. But, in the world of fashion… in the world you want to belong, he’s always going to be your greatest advocate.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Maybe you should ask him instead,” Nat says mysteriously before leaving her alone in the room to think.

———–

Bucky wasn’t sure what he was doing anymore. He was halfway between staying and going back to New York. His work was done and he wasn’t really needed in the reception, though it was better if he was.

“It would also be better if you apologized,” someone answered out loud as Bucky turned to see a familiar smiling face, which only caused him to frown.

“I didn’t know I was asking for advice,” Bucky remarks as Sam laughs.

“You are when you’re talking to yourself in the middle of the hallway, Jack Nicholson,” Sam answers back, as he walks over to the clearly distressed man.

“What do you want, Sam?”

“I came to stop you from making the biggest mistake in your life,” Sam states as a matter of fact as Bucky simply groans, “Because whether you know it or not, you’ve made that gal the happiest she’s been in a very long and lonely time.”

Blue eyes turn to meet serious brown ones, as Bucky can’t help but wonder what had happened to her after the limelight stopped shining on her and even though he was still being stupid and angry -- Bucky wanted to know what he could do to change all that.

———–

You see him in the back where the dimmer lights are located once the event starts and while you should be focused on looking straight ahead, all you’re really doing is looking at him. It was stupid and childish to fight over such things, but you also have to talk about them as well.

However, the two of you are stuck making rounds and connections until later in the night. It isn’t until close to midnight and thanks to a certain pair that you are able to see each other in a small side patio. Though everything that you wanted to say is immediately thrown out the window, as you stand there awkwardly for a good couple of minutes. Until--

“I’m sorry!”

Is a thing that you both say at the exact same time, but you --in your never ending anxiety and nervousness-- manage to move forward with your stuttering speech.

“I know, I have no right to be jealous or anything like that,” you start off as Bucky watches you shine underneath the little fairy lights, “And yes, all that I have done might seem petty to prove a point--”

“Prove what?” Bucky can’t help but ask, both curious and seething if what Sam had told him was true.

“That I can do anything I want,” you answer as if admitting defeat, “Despite my funny face.”

“Oh sugar, you’re a star,” Bucky remarks with a smile as he caresses your cheek, “I won’t let anyone tell you less. And I’m sorry too. I was stuck between wanting to show the rest of the world and tryin’ to keep you to myself. It was childish, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“I can...understand that,” you answers back shyly that it makes Bucky want to laugh at how quickly your attitude can change. Instead, he leans in until there is no space between the two of you.

“Maybe, we should take some time off after all this,” he lets out hopefully -- that you’ll take this step with him, “Get to know each other outside of the whole glitz and glamour thing.”

“I would like that,” is all you say before pressing yourself closer to him and kissing him softly on the lips.

Bucky leans in and returns the gesture pliantly.

And in the shining stars, both up above and down below, the two of you have found something else worth more than all the stories that you could come up with both behind and in front of the camera.

And the fashion world -- well, they could wait for now.

#interestedbystander2kmilestone #Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x you #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #james barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes modern au #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #series: short stories #fabiola trying to write

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vaguely-concerned · 6 years ago

Text

Let’s Read Victory of Eagles; the Prepare to Cry About William Laurence Edition

earlier temeraire let’s reads (yes I’m sticking with it)

- oh man starting with temeraire’s pov is such a good call, I don’t know if I could take getting plunged straight into laurence’s misery without some (very slight) levity first

- lol and also crey @ laurence gently reminding these young guys how to keep him prisoner

- temeraire on his way to revolutionize dragon politics after one damn month... I’m so proud ;___; on the other hand him thinking laurence is dead is... nope not processing this laurence is fine let’s not worry about it

- SURPRISE THARKAY! BEST KIND OF SURPRISE

looool he just keeps coming to get laurence and finding him embroiled in some fresh catastrophe... I’m sorry ur bro is in another castle/war camp/ship wreck/prison tharkay you’re a champ for tracking him down again and again

- He has a new birb!!! good stuff. this part of them walking through the quiet ruined town is really striking too

- laurence feels like he can be just himself for the first time in months huh... cool cool cool

- “You and Temeraire would be welcome in other parts of the world. You may recall there is some semblance of civilization,” he added dryly, “in a few places, beyond the borders of England.”

fsdakhfdasdfsaflj a) I love him so much b) I g u e s s Tharkay kind of just asked Laurence to run away with him in his low-key sardonic way... super triple extra cool cool cool extremely admirable even if he and everyone else in the world knows it to be doomed

resting his hand on his shoulder because he knows Laurence is gonna be Laurence about this... yeah okay just punch me in the heart

- tfw the guy you sort of have a thing for is determined to get himself killed for a government you feel exactly zero personal loyalty to and now you have to watch his back 🙄

- lol laurence is like ‘I’m not gonna start a fistfight’

five minutes later: granby pulls laurence out of a fistfight he started because someone talked shit about his dragon

- aw demane and sipho! good boys bein’ good boys

- temeraire reciting principia mathematica to himself and changing his voice so he can pretend it’s laurence reading to him... that is under the belt naomi novik that is just mean

(all the funnier/more heartbreaking for knowing laurence has no fucking idea what he’s reading out loud when it comes to that book and would never have touched it if temeraire didn’t love it so much)

- “Oh,” Temeraire said, and sat back on his haunches. He was not quite sure what to say. “I am very sorry?” he offered, uncertainly. He supposed it must be very unpleasant to be a coward.

fjfjghfgj how is he so darling

- tbh perscitia is very much me when it comes to fighting; I too am small and slow and cripplingly overly aware of all the ways things can go wrong which everyone seems happy to overlook

- as a professional tharkay spotter: he is in fact present in the proceedings right now, he arrived at the same time as granby and had one (1) line of dialogue! I am not sure why everyone’s talking about this napoleon fella instead of specifying to me what precise dragon he hitched a ride with or what kind of babysitter arrangement he has put in place for his birb but y’know I’ll take what I can get

(there is a peculiar sort of satisfaction in getting reeeeaaal attached to a side character; this reminds me a lot of being nine and scrupulously scanning every page of a harry potter book for mentions of sirius, no matter how peripheral or inconsequential)

- all of temeraire’s dragons are pure gold tbh, I especially like majestatis and his laconic competency (I may have a type)

- temeraire not getting why laurence isn’t responding to him quite as he should and laurence basically getting his affairs in order... William Laurence if you break both our hearts I will never fucking forgive you this is my stern voice

- adding a second (and tonally very different) pov is such a genius move at this point in the story; it really breathes new life into everything.

- lady allendale is the real mvp, you can really see a lot of laurence’s good sides in a straight line from her to him

- oooooooooooooooooooooh roland dropping some truth bombs on laurence for being so very very honorable and so very very dumb

thank you jane I guess at least he’s pretty

- having to read laurence trying to convince all the people who love him to basically let him kill himself is extremely upsetting and I Do Not Care for it

- temeraire absent-mindedly putting ‘coming up with some way to let laurence live as long as me’ on his ‘to do’ list is Everything

but also he doesn’t even realize how wrong things are with his captain and I want to curl up in a ball. no bb no one is going to take him but he’s halfway through taking himself out :(

(I will say that there’s something about laurence’s incredible inflexibility and self loathing that is very relatable, which is probably why I’m so mad at him and also so scared for him. incidentally one of hanzo’s traits I really identify with. anyway onwards)

- ah of course granby was kidnapped I was wondering when something bad would happen to him in this book

- “You are not obliged -- ” Laurence began.

“No,” Tharkay agreed civilly, with one raised brow, and Laurence bowed and left it there.

fdsfdklsalkjhfkjasdhfjkadshdsfhksdfjakh how... how can anyone be so impossibly lovely and so sarcastic in one word... my heart feels so full

but also ow b/c I think tharkay does see the state laurence is in and it must be extremely stressful to look out for all the swords your bro is determined to throw himself on

- oF ALL THE DOORSTEPS IN ALL OF LONDON THEY HAD TO END UP AT LAURENCE’S EX’S how many mirrors has this poor man broken to end up here

- oh uh wow I think I just murdered woolvey’s shitty racist ass with my mind I never even knew I had the power

- Tharkay seeming to suss out the whole Situation here at a glance... *prayer hands emoji*

- Tharkay shook his head, and when Laurence looked at him said quietly: “It must be difficult to follow an officer of public repute, in the affections of a woman who loves courage.”

...

“My reputation is hardly one any sensible man would covet.”

“It does not name you a coward,” Tharkay said. “Whatever has Bertram Woolvey done?”

as observed completely impartially except for that one awful enormous crush he is developing lol

- oh no... woolvey died... this is... terrible.... *insert ‘shocked’ captain kirk reaction image here*

okay it does put edith in a genuinely awful situation, which super sucks. everything around her is like the one part of laurence’s self loathing that is sort of justified: he’s been making her life so much harder for so long. first she had to worry about her not-even-husband-yet getting lost at sea and he seems pretty emotionally distant, for all that he can be sweet, then he adopts a dragon and she is SUCH AN AFTERTHOUGHT to him in that process (because, as I have discussed earlier, william laurence should just not ask people to marry him b/c he never. actually. means. it. he just thinks he should I think)

and then, after finally disentangling herself emotionally from that she manages to marry a dude who’s a twit, but a twit who by all appearances treats her well and she’s happy -- and then Laurence shows up for three fucking hours and her HUSBAND IS SHOT DEAD

most of laurence’s guilt is the useless self-flagellation of depression, but in this one case I’m a bit more ‘yeah okay valid bro’

- Laurence’s tendency to describe, in minute detail, what some dude is wearing even under the most dire of circumstances is so endearing. (also he barely ever does it with women; usually it’s like ‘and she was wearing idk a dress?’ lol)

- laurence’s superpower is inspiring people’s affection and loyalty and then wondering why they’re all not cool with him throwing himself off a cliff

- is tharkay like basically a scottish lord on his dad’s side and has been fucked over by either the system or the rest of his family. are you fucking kidding me jfksadflsadfj

- oh. oh okay that’s the king that’s super extra salt in the wound for our golden boy :I

- NOOOOOOOOOOO TEMERAIRE THINKS LAURENCE MIGHT BE ANGRY WITH HIM!!!!!! LAURENCE YOU BEAUTIFUL USELESS DUMBASS PLEASE SNAP OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSION LONG ENOUGH TO TELL YOUR DRAGON SON YOU’RE NOT ANGRY WITH HIM OR SO HELP ME I’LL... CRY AT YOU I GUESS

- okay so this is all very bleak and... borderline war crime-y and laurence is clearly In A Bad Way but also demane has just put every scrap of clothing he could find on his little brother, who now can barely walk for all the layers but is presumably nice and warm, and my heart is doing strange things in my chest

- “Laurence, what are you doing?”

*ELMO SURROUNDED IN FLAMES GIF* MY BOY THARKAY BEING THE REAL MVP ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

this whole scene is so brief but so good fkdslahfaklsdhfaskld laurence literally slipping back out of dissociation and noticing the smells and sounds around him again... this is So Much, tharkay you fucking miracle of a man

- there is something incredibly interesting about how laurence is just viscerally terrified by the things tharkay seems to represent to him -- that’s at least twice now that he’s thought straight out, in pretty much the same words, that tharkay’s way of living seems achingly lonely and untethered and frightening to him. (the first time is in black powder war, just as he’s about to give the offer of friendship that tharkay seems equal parts confused and touched by lol) laurence has this intense need to be part of something bigger than himself and doesn’t trust himself to know what’s right (...even tho he’ll historically still occasionally go off and do The Right Thing despite orders anyway because he’s a beautiful idiot), while tharkay obviously puts freedom and autonomy faaaar above any of that (understandably, from his background lol)

and still it’s exactly this dude who woke laurence up to himself again and reminded him who he really is. this is the man he knew he’d be ‘sorrier to lose than yet I know’ and gooooddamn if he wasn’t right about that. I’m not ready to be coherent about it yet but uh wow this is A Lot

- the way novik writes laurence dissociating is. a bit too close to home, I’m not thrilled about this haha

- LAURENCE IS TALKING TO HIS DRAGON SON AGAIN AND I CAN FINALLY BREATHE THANK YOU THARKAY

- also let me specify that tharkay coming in and ending laurence’s breakdown by just showing him that he, y’know. doesn’t have to commit borderline war crimes if he doesn’t want to is... yeah. when he’s like ‘yeah no bro I like you and all but this is fucked up I’m out’ and Laurence slowly puts the pieces together and goes ‘...that... is an option? F U C K’ is the Good Stuff (I’m being flippant about it but also I really mean it lol)

- temeraire is giving the french uniforms the side eye for being boring and admiring the kilts... god bless him, focusing on the real things on the eve of battle

- gOD lien is so fucking COOL, celestial who actually knows wtf she’s doing OP pls nerf

ETA: also I’ve looked up some spoilers for the rest of this series (b/c there’s a couple of characters now who I’m so attached to that if they die I don’t even fucking care anymore lol), and apparently they never get to fight lien/meet her for too long again and can I just say... What The Fuck, why would you come up with such a compelling antagonist and not use her???

- Tharkay, straight(hah)-faced: yeah I’m coming with you to australia on this prison ship nbd just curious about it that’s all

Laurence, blinking back tears, barely getting the words out: cool bro

(I think laurence has been like. crying or on the verge of crying in every single scene he and tharkay have been alone in this entire book. tharkay saw laurence through an ugly ugly divorce (with the government of england if not the land) and is still going with him to fucking australia. that’s how you know it’s love tbh, he’s done for)

also for the meme: AND THEY WERE SHIPMATES! OH MY GOD THEY WERE SHIPMATES!

ALSO also: tharkay getting granby a drink fdsafjsalkdjfh best boy, best friend

- not connected to anything but I do appreciate that laurence is a rare extremely extroverted protagonist. he just really needs people around him and sort of wilts when he’s isolated, whether by circumstance or his own Stuff.

- Oh man I really liked this one! the pacing worked better than the last one, the dual pov really shook things up, the new dragon characters were cool and Laurence had a lot of character development that has been in the cards since book 1, even if it was really upsetting while it happened. and Tharkay was there a lot, which is the surest way to my heart at this point, to be fair.

#temeraire #victory of eagles #william laurence x tenzing tharkay #willzing #meta #okay let's go to australia everyone! what could possibly go wrong #it's only known for being full to the brim with creatures that can murder you with a glance #...added a ship tag b/c I'm not exactly being subtle in this one lol

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writingkeepsmewhole · 6 years ago

Text

Buried

Okay first thing I want to apologize for not posting. My computer didn’t want to load the internet but today it wants to work so expect a few fics today. I've still been writing but couldn't edit them to post them. But enough about me unto the fun stuff.

This is the 11th part of A Touch. I’m shocked it has the meany parts honestly haha. This is a longer one it’s almost 5000 words. Don’t ask haha. Anyways... Reader goes on a run with Negan to an abandoned school where they get trapped in a storage room.

Negan X Reader

Warnings: Language. Mention of abortion. Rape mention.

Let me know if you want to be tagged. @dead-head-joker @cryiner @collette04 @catlovescats02-blog @blumenkind72 @frozenhuntress67

Part 1 Part 10

I woke up to feeling sore but rested. Like it was the first time I slept in days. I smile to myself realizing it was. Turning my head I was not shocked to find the bed empty. Negan not the one for cuddling.

‘Why would he cuddle me anyways?’ I ask myself sitting up.

Still feeling a bit dizzy I closed my eyes to keep the room from spinning. I opened them as soon as I heard the door open.

Tanya stood there with a basket full of something. I couldn’t tell because it was covered by a cloth.

“Oh, I didn’t know anyone was in here.” She says looking shocked.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t meant to be here.” I say standing up and moving to the door.

“Is Negan here? We were meant to have breakfast together.”

“Honestly I don’t know where he is. I just woke up. Feel free to look around. You are his wife after all.” I say moving around her.

Before I could walk away she grabs my arm stopping me in the hallway.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” I say the smell of something sweet filling my nose. Most likely whatever was in her basket.

“Are you sleeping with Negan? I mean it’s fine if you are, I just wonder why you can stay in his room and the rest of us can’t.”

“No. I’m not sleeping with him and has for sleeping in his room. I don’t know. Never bothered to ask.” I say knowing I would most likely wouldn't like the answer.

“Oh okay. Well I’ll let you go. Tell Negan I’m waiting for him if you see him.”

“Will do.” I say smiling at her and walking away realizing that’s the first time I held a conversation with one of Negan’s wives. Also realizing that’s the longest conversation I have had with anyone without feeling hollow.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and move towards my room to change clothes. I decided on a shower as well.

I was halfway to the showers when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty room. I couldn't scream because of the hand on my mouth.

“Scream and see what happens.” Says the voice that has haunted me for the past few days. I could feel the stab of something digging into my lower stomach.

I nodded as a response having no intentions of screaming. I wanted away from Mark as soon as possible.

“Now I want you to listen very carefully. Understand?” He asks removing his hand from my mouth.

When I didn’t say anything he dug the knife into my stomach enough to make it sting.

“Yes.” I gasp out.

“Good. Now I want you to do something for me. If you do it. I’ll make sure you get back to your group and we’ll never see each other every again.” He whimpers his hot breath on my ear and neck making my heart race with fear.

“What is it?” I ask my voice shaking.

“Negan is going to take you on a trip today while you are gone I want you to make sure he doesn't come back.”

“How-.” I stop talking when he grabs my hair yanking my head back.

“I told you to listen not talk.” He says glaring down at me.

“I’m going to give you my little friend here to help you out.” He says dragging the blade across my stomach making me whimper.

“I don’t care how you do it. Use your imagination. Just make sure Negan dies today. If not well lets just say you won’t like when I decided to hurt someone.” He says smirking down at me.

“Understand?”

I nod feeling like I was about to pass out.

“Good. Make me proud.” He says kissing me roughly while putting the knife in my pocket.

In a matter of minutes I was threatened, assaulted and left alone.

I stepped out of the room a while after Mark left. My heart was racing but I could feel myself start to shut down again.

Feeling the knife in my pocket I tired to think about what I was going to do. If I killed Negan it would be a all out war. If I didn't Mark would do something to someone I cared about or even myself.

I walked to the showers thoughts filling my head.

Even though I know that this should be easy. Negan was the enemy right? The bad guy the villain of this story. I've killed for a lot less.

Even trying to talk myself into doing it, to get close and end it, I was pulling away from the idea. My chest hurting along with my head. Every time I thought of killing him it felt wrong. My mind going to the nights spent in his room. To the gentle way he would pull my face up and make me look at him. To his bellowing laugh and the way I felt happier around him.

I decided to do nothing for now. That I might not even see Negan today. My pleas were ignored when I stepped outside to hang clothes. There leaning on the table bat in hand stood Negan In all his glory.

"There you are angel. I was wondering when you were ever gonna show up." he says grinning and strolling up to me.

"Why?" I ask clearing my throat when my voice cracked.

"Well we are going on a road trip remember?" he says smirking.

"Oh I forgot."

"Forgot? Well I'll be sure to make you remember it at least."

"What are we going to do?"

"That's for me to know." he say winking.

"Come on we're burning daylight." he says walking around me and towards the building.

When he realizes I'm not following him he spins around to face me.

"What the hell is the hold up?" he asks twirling Lucile around his hand

"I don't want to go." I say not wanting to tell Negan. I've already gotten one of his men killed I don't want to do it again.

"Why the fuck not? " he asks walking back to me.

I answer him with a shrug realizing that I'm too nervous to lie to him. I curse at myself knowing I'm not normally like this.

"Well shit. You are going anyway." he says leaning to the side a bit.

Swallowing I nod my teeth digging into my lip.

Once again I find myself alone with Negan a chance to harm him. Instead I sat still as he tied a blindfold over my eyes blocking out the world and locking me in my thoughts.

I could hear the truck start and the rumble as we started down the street.

Hearing a scratching noise i turned my head towards the sound.

"i gotta shave this shit." Negan mumbles to himself. I stay silent letting it pull me into my head.

My heart was racing telling me to run. I didn't want to be here didn't want to drive towards my choice.

By the end of they day i would either become a murderer or i would become the victim.

I almost laughed at the thought. I was already a murderer. Nicks face in my minds eye.

Feeling a hand on my knee i jump jerking away quickly as my heart pounds.

"Relax darling. Just taking a drive." negan says chuckling softly

I sit still trying to look normal. I realize how tense i am. The tightness in my shoulders telling me that. Lean back on the truck bench and take a breath.

I could feel the truck rattle as we cross a bridge. The smell and sound of the creek under us calming me a bit. I take a deep breath resting my head on the window. I never thought I'd see the day where Negan was this silent but i welcomed the silence.

I felt my mind drift into the darkness, the feel of Marks knife digging into me making me jump. It reminded me of the feel of the serrated blade digging into my back as the governor touched me. Every time i moved it would cut into my skin leaving faded scars. The governor's face and hands replaced for Nick's him pinning me to the wall. The feel of the rough brick digging into face. I screamed for help but my voice wouldn't work. I tried to move fight back but I couldn't. My body wouldn't listen my limbs were too heavy to move.

Turn my face away from Nick i looked out the window seeing someone standing there. It was to dark to see who but i tried to scream for help. It took me countless tries to get out just a small whimper. The person slapped the glass making a light shine from above them. I know why i didn't recognize them at first. It was Negan but he was covered in blood. His face bruised and broken. I tried to reach for him but large hands stopped me. I looked up to see the governor smirking down at me.

"He can't save you this time." Nick said as he took what he wanted from me.

I woke up with a gasp trying to fight off whoever was touching me. A blindfold wrapped around my eyes

"Easy angel calm down." a rough voice says followed by light blinding my sight.

Squinting my eyes I blink to clear my vision making the person in front of me out. Negan's bearded face filling my gaze.

"Negan?" I ask my voice cracking followed by a tear running down my cheek.

"I'm fine." I say quickly wiping my face.

Jumping out of the truck Negan has to catch me from falling.

"Whoa there." he says laughing.

"Thanks." I say moving around him to see where we are.

We were standing in a large parking lot only some of the places filled with long abandoned cars. A large structure stood next to us. Looking up, Lincoln High School was wrote in white letters.

"A school?" i ask Negan looking at him.

"I saw it from the road a while back been meaning to come over and check it out." he says stepping up the curb and walking to the glass doors.

"Wanna do the honors or shall I?" he asks gesturing towards the door.

"How am i supposed to get through a glass door with no weapon?" i asks holding my hands up and walking to him.

"Here is a tip when breaking into schools. No electricity." he says grabbing the door handle.

"No lock." he says pulling the door open.

"Well that's interesting." i say stepping thru the doorway.

"You are not curious about how i know that are you darling?"

"Not really." i say shrugging.

Walking into the dark building the only light coming from the windows I walk into what used to be the front office.

It was what you expected. Overturned chairs papers scattered everywhere. Drawrs pulled open.

"You know there is nothing here right?" i ask Negan looking at him.

He was leaning against the door frame bat laid over his shoulder.

"Where is your sense of adventure angel?"

I only shrug as an answer. Partly because my mind was foggy with sleep and the other was the guilt in my jut. I allowed myself to get close to him and now I was the tool for his murderer.

Feeling the sting behind my eyes I quickly leave the room threw the side door leading to the hallway.

I walk down the hall well aware of the sound of Negan's boot steps behind me.

I fall into the daze of placing one foot in front of the other.

I jump when something grabs my arm spinning me to face them. I look up meeting Negan's eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asks loudly making me jump again my heart racing.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I say my voice cracking.

"We both know that's a fucking lie so you might as well tell me." he says standing straight to tower over me.

Feeling rage in my veins i jerk my arm away from him.

"Don't treat me like one of your men Negan or like some bitch that will cower under you. I told you i didn't want to be here but you forced me to go so forgive me if i'm not jumping for joy." i say clenching my jaw and moving to walk down one of the staire ways beside us.

I knew what i looks like. Some crazy woman who couldn't control herself but Negan didn't know what was going on in my head. Maybe if he thought I was crazy he would stay away from me and i wouldn't be put in these situations.

Remembering what Mark said about if i came back with Negan i would regret it.

Hearing a scratching noise behind one of the doors i see a walker rubbing itself on the windows in the classroom it having no idea im here its eyes not in its skull. Seeing no need to deal with it i keep walking.

"Y/N!" Negan yells from behind me.

It takes one look to know he's mad.

"Go away Negan. Your making it worse." i say turning around fighting the want to run.

I wouldn't run away from Negan this would end bad of i did.

I settle for walking into what looked like a kitchen. Weaving around the counters and tables i find the storage room. Seeing the ceiling bowing down the only thing holding it up is a shelf makes me think no one has chanced going in there.

Ducking under the fallen beem i don't have time to take in the dark room before i once again hear Negan.

Sighing move into the darkness.

"Angel you might as well tell me what's got you ll jumpy." Negan saya making me jump.

"I told you i'm fine." i say turning to face him.

"Your not fine!" he yells extending his arm Lucille smashing into the door frame.

At first only the sound of the hit filled the air it was replaced by something creaking then a loud crack as the ceiling gave away.

I felt something hard smack into my body knocking me down to the floor. I realized it was Negan pushing me out of the way his large frame shielding mine. I could feel his breath on my neck and practically hear my heart. Pushing himself up on his arms he looked down at me.

"You okay?" he asks it to dark in the room to see his face.

"I think so." I say my voice shaky.

Getting up he helps me stand. The past seconds letting my sight adjust to the dark room.

It wasn't as dark as i once thought. It was the pantry for the school the shelves ransacked. There was a bit light shining in through a cloth of some kind. Standing up on my toes i pulled the cloth it tearing with ease. I jump back when a hand falls down with the cloth it clearly a shirt. With it out of the way i quickly realize that the door is gone. Nothing but rubble. The light coming from a small hole in what used to be the ceiling.

"Well what kind of mess have we gotten into?" Negan says from behind me.

"We have to get out." i say my mind jumping to what would happen when we don't come back. When Negan don't return. Simon would surely take over. He would quickly kill everyone in Alexandria.

I feel my heart pound so loud my blood rushing. Trying to breathe i panic when no air fills my lungs it getting stuck in my throat.

Grabbing my throat i try to breath my lungs starting to burn.

Being pulled into a hard chest i hear a mumble. It talking moment for me to understand it's Negan telling me to breathe.

"Come on Angel breathe." He says making me look up at him.

I watch his chest rise and fall him trying to help me I follow him. Taking a breath nothing fills my lungs but i keep mimicking Negan.

When warm sweet air fills my lungs i choke coughing loudly.

"That's my girl." Negan's gruff voice fills the room.

I wrap my arms around him shocking him as i feel hot tears run down my cheeks. I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen or being trapped or the fact Negan is always somehow the one to save me but I brake down sobbing loudly.

Feeling Negan's hands on my arms I expect him to push me away. I feel him run one hand down my arm it wrapping around my lower back the other hand softly stroking my hair. That's how we stayed Negan holding me as I sobbed into his white T-shirt.

Everything weighing on my mind slowly slip away as if Negan was sucking the pain and worries from me. Him like a magnet pulling the fears and stress out of my mind.

I don't know when it happened but by the time I stopped crying we were sitting on the floor Negan's arms wrapped around me. I was sitting between his legs my head tucked into his collarbone.

I knew it was a stupid idea but i stayed there wrapped up in him.

My face was wet with tears but I didn't bother wiping them off. Taking a shaking breath I sat up not looking at Negan.

"Care to explain darlin."

"I can't." I say my voice cracking

"Why the hell not?"

"I'll get someone else killed if I do. That's all I'm good for."

"Who told you that?"

"I can just see it. Im cursed."

"I don't believe in none of that bullshit."

"I guess you wouldn't would you? You've never been close to anyone." I say looking at him.

It dark for the most part but not dark enough to hide him clenching his jaw.

I dig the knife from my pocket and hand it to him. Once again Im glad for the dim light.

"Where did you get this?"

"I won't tell you. I can't have more blood on my hands."

"What blood is that?"

I snuffle moving away from him to sit on the floor.

"Go on tell me."

"I got Nick killed." I* say curling up.

"Maggie is dead because of me. I ruined to many lives to forget."

"I find that hard to believe Angel." He says it being the last thing that's said for a while.

I once again go over what Mark said and what I could do. My heart racing feeling myself being pushed into a corner. It reminding me when I was in highschool and all my choices were taken from me. I swallow wrapping my arms around myself at the thought. The only thing that helped me get threw it was talking.

I take a deep breath looking at the wall. I decided to say my peace knowing that I will at least told someone my side of the story.

"Have you ever done something wrong but you keep doing it?" I ask Negan earning a playful “Yeah.“

"Remember how I told you I worked at a hospital before? I didn't ever tell you how I got started working there. I've always found myself in trouble from a young age. My parents were CEOs of different companies. On top of that they went to every charity event in town. They cared more about there image then me. I only got attention when I was in trouble. Well despite that I got good grades did whatever extra classes they paid for. Until I turned 16.

They lost everything the money, house, friends, everything. For the first time in my life they were there all the time. At first I thought I was happy until I realized that I was less wanted then I thought. But what did I expect from parents who only pretend to care at birthdays." I say sighing laying my head back.

I felt I could breathe again but it was easy to talk about my parents. I gave up on them a long time ago.

"I fell in love with my teacher." I say earning a chuckle.

"Pardon me but did you say you fell in love with your fucking teacher?" Negan asks laughing.

I didn't see what was funny him laughing like I told a inside joke.

"Not even that I had sex with him." I say rolling my head to look at him.

"I was a troubled teen and I think at first Andrew really wanted to help but he was fresh out of college and I needed an escape from home." I say looking at the hole in the ceiling.

"What happened?" Negan asks sounding like he really wanted to know.

"I got pregnant." I say swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Did you lose it?"

"No, worse I killed her. After everything my family lost their image still mattered. They-. " I take a shaky breath clenching my fist.

"I was under 18 I had no say. They locked me in a room where a doctor drugged me and tied me down as he cut my baby girl out of me." I say not hiding the anger in my voice.

"She was three months old and everyone dared to tell me that she wasn't alive yet. And our world now is meant to be the messed up one." I say wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"After that I started to volunteer at the hospital. Try to convince people to keep their babies give them up is better than chopping them into bits. I never left even after everything hit the fan I didn't rush to my parents house. I stayed. I swore to myself I wouldn't be responsible for someone else's death. Not again." I say my cheeks wet but no tears falling.

I was looking into the darkness so I jumped when I felt Negan place his hand on my knee.

"I'm sorry Angel. No one should have to go through that."

"It's okay. I've kept my promise to myself even in all this mess." I say smiling at him. My throat was still tight but I felt better than I have in a while.

"I've never told anyone that."

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me." he says grinning.

"So you mean to tell me you ain't ever killed anyone."

"Not before Nick no. I've had plenty of chances. When the Governor did what he did I didn't stop him. "I say swallowing and clenching my jaw.

"Why the hell not?" Negan Ask his voice booming.

"The only way would have been to kill him. He placed a knife in reach to taunt me. I couldn't bring myself to fight back. I guess I thought I deserve it." I say wrapping my arms around myself despite the sweet covering my skin.

"Shit darling you need to realize how much of a fucking badass you are." he says making me chuckle.

"How did you get badass out of all that?"

"Because despite all that shit you are still here fighting to survive. You got stronger from your own hell."

"I don't think so. I think I’m weaker than ever." I say looking up at him. He grabs my face with both hands keeping me from looking away.

"I think you can do anything you have the balls to back it up."

"How?"

"Because even though you went through hell and back you still do the right thing. You got guts." He says grinning.

"Not really I got Nick-."

"I killed Nick. I liked it too. He touched something that belonged to me I would happily do it again."

I blush looking away with my eyes only not sure what he meant.

"Don't worry Angel." he says stroking my cheek.

"Daddy will take care of Mark." he says making my blush deeper.

"Don't kill him, please." I beg softly.

"I have better plans for him. Now what do you say about getting out of this room?"

"Okay."

"Peachy." he says smirking and standing up.

"Come on Angel I want to get home for a fucking shower." he says pulling me up.

With Negan's help I climbed over the fallen darby. I find a blacked out window that I pop open with the knife.

We both crawl outside it feeling 20 degrees cooler than in the room.

"I gotta take this shit off." Negan says pilling his jacket off.

"Want me to carry it?" I ask holding out my hand my eyes jumping to his tattoos.

"Would you do that for little old me?" he says holding up the jacket.

"Well I wasn't going to say anything but you are reaching what 70?"

I ask smiling earning a glare from Negan but his mouth was twisted into a smirk.

"Watch that fucking mouth." he says pointing Lucille at me.

"Yes sir." I say glad for the light mood it was easier to joke with Negan.

Taking a breath I headed around the school back to the parking lot Negan walking behind me jacket and bat in hand.

"Answer me something Angel." He says when we get to the truck him throwing his jacket in but Lucille placed on his shoulder.

"Okay." I say reputting my hair up.

"If you don't want to kill anyone why tell me about Mark?"

"Because if I didn't he would hurt Alexa."

"That's it?"

"Mmhmm." I say nodding.

"Fuck you are so good." he says his voice husky. Him saying it like he was talking dirty in bed.

I blush at the shiver running threw me.

"We should probably go." I say chewing my cheek.

"Yeah let's get the fuck out of here." he says biting his lip.

Ignoring my female hormones I walk around the truck getting in. Reaching for the blind fold I'm stopped when Negan grabs my arm.

"Don't bother. We are to far away from Alexandria for you to find you way back. The only thing you'll learn is how to get home." he says making me smile for trusting me. Also because he said it like the sanctuary was my home now. I guess it was.

#negan fanfiction #twd negan #the walking dead negan #negan #negan fic #negan fluff #negan x reader #negan x you #negan x y/n #negan imagine #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fic #the walking dead fanfiction #a touch #buried

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writingtostaysane · 6 years ago

Text

Prolouge

I finished it and I’m just gonna go ahead and post it. I didn’t do too much editing since I’m a bit tired rn and I currently don’t have a beta.

Word count: 5013

Taglist: @flyingsassysaddles , @ask-the-new-columbian-colonies, and @dustjacketdreamer

If you want to be added to or removed from the taglist, just message me. Currently, I’m only tagging the people who liked/reblogged the post about the taglist.

Now here’s the chapter.

---

It was a warm day in May when Elise had asked Annie that fated question. The pair had been walking home from school, chatting on and on about a wide variety of topics, as they often found themselves doing. There was a slight breeze and the branches of nearby trees were swaying back and forth, causing leaves of an assortment of colors to glide through the air gently. As they walked, they would occasionally stop and stare at the view, the idyllic scene providing a sort of calm happiness to the girls.

Halfway through their route was a park that they often stopped at. Today they sat on a yellow bench underneath a willow tree in the middle of the park and talked about whatever was on their mind. Annie hadn’t been assigned any homework that day and neither had Elise, so they had time to spare. Underneath the willow tree was a spot favorited by the girls, and today was no different, the hanging branches giving them a sort of privacy to just enjoy the day.

The conversation had gotten on the topic of love for whatever reason, and it seemed that Elise had a lot to say. Always having been a passionate person, she could go on and on about something that meant something to her and somehow never boring her audience. It’s one of the traits that made her so popular at school. It was also one of the many reasons Annie adored her, but she wouldn’t say that out loud.

“I’ve never known why people believe in love at first sight. If you love someone, it’s not for their looks alone, right? It’s for all their strengths, all their flaws, all the things that add up to them as a person. Their smile, their laugh, that one quirk no one else has. Personality, brains, interests, looks too. There are so many things to love about someone. And being in love is loving all of those at the same time,” Elise had been saying.

She paused in her thoughts and turned to face Annie. The girls had been sitting side by side, and now the sudden movement brought them to sit face to face. This way Elise could get Annie’s attention better as she talked or at least that seemed to be the motivation. Either way, the sudden proximity made Annie very aware of how cute Elise looked in the afternoon light. The girl in question sighed and continued.

“Or maybe it’s not. I don’t really know, I’ve never had a relationship before. I’m still looking for The One, as people put it,” she winked, “But I’ve heard all about love from friends and family, and honestly, it sounds amazing. And it’s different for each person! Some people get this wistful expression on their face when they’re speaking about their love. Others speak of love as if it has wronged them in some way. These people are usually people who have been through a misfortune in love. But those who have suffered in love can also be sullen when it’s mentioned. It’s a bit heartbreaking to watch.”

The conversation had taken a sort of depressing turn, so Annie tried to think of something to change the topic slightly.

“Have you ever been in love?” Annie blurted out, only realizing what she had said a second later.

Elise stared at her in shock.

“I mean, I know you said you had never been in a relationship, but outside of that have you ever, well, how would you phrase it? Oh, I know.” Annie looked right at Elise and said, “Have you ever had a crush?”

At this, Elise’s shocked demeanor relaxed and a smile played at the edges of her lips.

“Well, I guess you could say that. There is definitely someone I favor right now. And in the past, I have had a few people I crushed on. But currently, it's more like someone I hold very dear to me even if they do not feel the same way. It's more like love than a schoolgirl's crush. Then again, the feeling is more like I feel like I'm supposed to stay with them forever, even if I might not love them fully right now. Like a soulmate, I guess? It might seem silly, but I do believe in soulmates. It's nice to believe that there's someone out there that you're destined to love with all your heart and soul. What do you think?"

While she said this, Elise slowly moved to take Annie's hands in her own, in a gesture that Annie could not understand. But as Elise looked into Annie's eyes, she asked that fated question.

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

---

Annie didn't know how to answer that. She had never given it much thought, dismissing it as wishful thinking. But if someone who she held so dearly was so passionate about the topic, that might give her incentive to think about it more.

So that's exactly what she did. After their conversation the girls went their separate ways, Elise heading to her house and Annie to hers. While walking, Annie went over everything she had ever heard about soulmates. The different kinds of soulmates, soulmate marks, people not seeing color before meeting their soulmate, everything. Most of it she dismissed as local legends, but some of it was still based in truth. There were cases of people claiming to have monochrome vision before meeting their 'soulmate' as they always referred to them. But nobody could determine if their word was real. Shaking her head she decided to continue to mull it over at a later point in time. She still couldn't decide if she believed in soulmates.

At this point, she had reached her house. It stood tall before her, sturdy and worn with love. Her family had been living there for generations, and she hoped to live there when she grew up. Annie walked through the front door into the small kitchen where her brother Davis was doing his homework and her dad was cooking dinner. It was peaceful. No drama, nothing confusing, just home. She dropped her blue cloth backpack at the door and grabbed her phone from its place charging on the counter. Her plan was to research more on soulmates to see if something could help her make up her mind. Turning to walk upstairs to her room, it hit her. She could just ask her parents. They were one of the best matches she had seen in her life, they fit perfect together. Almost as if they were soulmates. Looking over at her dad, she decided to ask him later since he was busy with preparing food and her mom was still at work. For now, she would have to settle for her original plan of surfing the Internet for information.

Once in her room, she closed the door and got her laptop from where it was sitting on her desk. Settling down onto her bed, she grabbed a blanket and threw it over herself and then got to work. There were several resources that she could check.

First, she started by searching 'What is a soulmate?' on Google. The first result was the dictionary definition: 'soul mate; noun; a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.' That was a start. So that was how she found herself spending the next hour researching soulmates until she was called down to dinner by her dad.

When she walked down the stairs, she saw that her mom and brother were already at the table. Greeting her mother, she took her spot next to Davis. Her dad served the meal and they started to eat. Halfway through the meal, Annie decided to ask the question she had wanted to ask when she first got home.

"Mom, Dad, I have a question," she asked.

Her parents both turned toward her, giving Annie their attention.

"Have you ever considered yourselves soulmates?" she asked tentatively.

They looked at her for a second, before looking at each and smiling.

"You could say that. I may admit that I thought that when I was younger when we had just started dating. It was so magical. We fit so well, it seemed to be almost too good to be true. Every time I saw your dad my heart fluttered and I felt a sort of admiration. Even before we were together, when we were just friends, it always felt right to be with him. Like it was destined. The feeling hasn't died over the years. If anything it's gotten stronger. It's nice to think we're soulmates. For all we know, they could exist. Even if science doesn't have any proof of them, sometimes it's a good idea to have some faith in the magic and the mystical. You never know. Fate could have stuck you with a person as wonderful as your dad," her mom answered, going off on a little tangent.

Her dad gave a little 'aww, babe!' quietly and leaned over to peck Annie's mom on the cheek. This caused her brother to pretend to gag at the obvious PDA. The whole family had a laugh at this and dinner continued in a pleasant manner.

Annie had a slightly alarming thought rush to her mind when she heard her mom's answer. The feeling her mom had described when she was younger and in love with her dad was familiar. The admiration. The rightness. The fluttering in the heart. It was all so familiar. Then she realized why.

It was what she felt every time she was around Elise.

Whenever she saw the other girl her heart fluttered, her face heated up slightly and she felt a sort of admiration past the feeling friends have for each other. As her mom put it, it felt so right to be around Elise. Even if she just realized it now, Annie was hopelessly in love with her friend. But that realization made her ask herself,

Are we soulmates?

---

A few months after that fateful day, the girls were once again walking home from school. This time it was fall and the color scheme of the trees lining their normal route had shifted the pink to red. It was the beginning of a new school year and for the 15-year-old girls, it was the start of a brand new school. They had just finished their first week of high school. The cool fall air provided a cool breeze and they were having fun talking about whatever came to their minds. But Annie kept thinking of a certain day that she couldn't get out of her head.

"Hey El, do you remember that day last May if you asked me if I believed in soulmates?" Annie asked, using the nickname she had given her best friend and crush.

"Yeah. Of course I do," came the reply.

"Well, I never got to give you my response. And I finally have my answer."

Elise looked at her, waiting for what she was going to say.

Annie took a deep breath, "I do believe in soulmates. And I think I've found mine."

Elise smiled happily at her answer. It looked like it was the one she wanted.

"Who?" she asked.

Annie took a deep breath.

"You," she replied.

At this Elise stopped. Nobody said anything for a few agonizing seconds. Annie panicked, repeating the same thought over and over in her head, 'I messed up. I messed up. I messed u-'

Her thoughts were broken by a small laugh. It was followed by another one and another one. The cute, bubbly laughs kept coming as a smile grew on Elise's face. Annie was hurt a bit, but also confused. Why was she laughing?

Elise turned to her, a look of adoration on her face.

"Really?" she asked Annie excitedly, "It's really me?"

"Yes," Annie said quietly, shocked at the excitement.

"This is so great! I never thought you would reciprocate what I felt. And to that extent-" Elise's smile grew until she was practically beaming, "Oh, this is wonderful!"

She attacked Annie with a hug and then let her go only to pick the other girl up and spin her around. There were smiles on both of their faces and they were both laughing with joy. Once they had calmed down, Elise took Annie hand in her own.

"So, what do we do now?" Elise asked as they continued to walk, "We both like each other. Should we be girlfriends?"

"I would like that," Annie said, a smile still on her face.

"Then it's official. You're my girlfriend, and I'm yours. I'm so happy!" Elise stated giddily, "Oh! Does this mean I can kiss you now? I've wanted to do forever."

"Yes. That means you can," Annie said with a laugh.

At that, her newly dubbed girlfriend hopped up and down in joy. Although it didn't seem that she was going to act on her wishes right away, as she continued walking. The pair headed down the path leading to the weeping willow that they had visited that fated day. To any passerby, a happier couple could not be seen. Happiness radiated off of them. It was truly a sight to be seen.

While they were walking, Annie spotted her other best friend Cameron. A sweet and caring person, they're known for having lots of friends and always being available if you need someone to talk to, even if they don't know you. Annie had known them even longer than she had known Elise, and that was saying something. Cameron spotted the pair immediately and walked over to them.

"Hey. You two still walking home?" they asked.

"Yeah. We had a small detour," Annie replied.

"I can see that," Cameron gestured to their clasped hands and smirked.

Annie blushed a bit at this and Elise gave a small giggle.

"So, what's the scoop? You two dating or what?" Cameron pried.

"Yup!" Elise replied excitedly.

Cameron's smile widened and they hugged the pair tightly.

"I'm so happy for you two! So who confessed first?"

Annie smiled embarrassedly. That was the only answer Cameron needed,

"You go, girl! Did you use that cheesy plan with you answering the question Elise asked that you told me earlier in the middle of gushing about her-" she teased.

"CAMERON! YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW!" Annie half-shouted with a red face, not one to take teasing that well, even from a well-meaning friend.

Elise giggled and Cameron burst out laughing at the outburst.

"Aw! You were gushing about me, babe? That's so sweet," Elise cooed, still giggling.

Annie didn't know it was possible for her face to get any redder, but it did.

“Can… can we just move on? I’d prefer not to go home looking like a tomato,” she said.

Elise gave a slight giggle.

“Of course.”

And so the three spent the rest of the afternoon together, talking and laughing.

---

Annie was on her way to the library when her phone rang from inside her coat pocket. She took it out and pressed 'Accept', a bit distracted by the fall colors which were still as beautiful as ever. A soft smile on her face, she answered with a 'hello?'

"Hello. Is this Annalise King I'm speaking to?" A friendly voice replied.

A bit surprised at the use of her full name she responded, "Yes. And who is this?"

"Sue. I'm a receptionist at the local hospital. I'm calling to inform you that Elise Meyers was hit by a car last night and is currently residing in our hospital. She's in critical condition with a few traumatizing injuries such as damage to major organs and several broken bones. It doesn't seem like she'll survive past the next week," the receptionist explained solemnly.

Annie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Elise, dying? That couldn't happen. It won't happen! But it would and Annie couldn't handle that. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and a anger swept through her. She wanted to scream and kick and cry her eyes out all at the same time. But doing any of those things in the middle of the street would be extremely embarrassing and her having a fit of any kind did not seem justified in her eyes. Instead, she sucked it up and continued with the conversation. She just had too many questions. They were all swirling around in her head. But only one would come out.

"Can I see her?" she asked, voice breaking.

"Yes. Of course. I'm so sorry honey. Of course you can see her. She was probably very special to you. A good friend, or perhaps more. I won't pry. You will have all the time you need with her. I promise," the lady over the phone reassured.

The comforting words helped calm down the seemingly endless tears with the promise of being able to see Elise, but there was still that silent thought Annie didn't say aloud. All the time you have to offer me with Elise will never be enough to say goodbye.

Once the call ended, she abandoned all her plans to go to the library and slowly trudged home, wallowing in her own misery. For now, she was sluggish and slow from the sudden rush of emotions that had exhausted her, but she would soon find herself in a frenzied panic over the thought of saying goodbye to Elise. She sat down at a bench in a park, under that towering willow tree where this entire emotional rollercoaster had started. And now it felt like she was just on an extremely long downhill ride. Annie was numb and felt like her emotions had escaped her in favor of this emptiness.

Suddenly she felt an overwhelming sadness wash over her and all she could do was sit there, head in her hands and cry. And cry she did. A soft sniffling was all that could be heard from her as tear after salty tear rolled down her face and fell to the ground. She was shaking and her crying got louder, bit by bit, until sobs were racking her body and she couldn’t stop the streams of tears rushing down her face. Annie brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly, burying her face in them to muffle her cries of despair.

She stayed like that for a while. A few people passing by gave her strange looks, but no one bothered her. The sun rose higher in the sky and eventually, she stopped crying. She untangled her legs from the position she had been in for a few hours and stood up. Looking at her watch, she could tell she had been here for way too long. She probably looked like shit and she wasn’t exactly ready to go home yet. Annie didn’t feel empty anymore, but she still felt numb. She knew more emotions were to come, but for now, there were none there. Exhausted and hungry, she decided to get some coffee and maybe a pastry. When she got to the cash register and was about to order, the cashier spoke.

“Sis?” the cashier said in a soft voice.

Annie was confused for a second until she focused on the cashier. It was her brother. She had forgotten he worked here. Shit. Her eyes were still red. He was going to think she had been bawling her eyes out (which she had), but she didn’t want him worrying about her. She lowered her eyes a little and responded.

“Hey, Davis.”

“Are you okay? You look terrible,” he asked, concern in his voice.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just want to order some coffee.”

“Of course! Sorry, I’m just worried. How about you order and I take a break to talk to you while I’m not on duty?”

Annie thought it over. She did want someone to talk to, but she didn’t want to distract Davis from his job. But if he was taking a break, it wouldn’t harm his job if he talked to her for a bit.

“Ok. I guess that can work. Now can I get my usual and a buttered croissant?”

Her brother gave her a smile and ringed up her order. Once she had paid and gotten her food, she went to sit down at a table in the corner where she wouldn’t be bothered. After a bit Davis walked over to her table and sat down.

A small silence ensued.

“So, what’s wrong?” he asked cautiously

“Everything,” she responded dryly.

He sighed and shook his head, “Annie, that’s not what I meant and you know it. I’ll give it to you straight. Your eyes are red, you look like you’ve been crying all day. What’s. Wrong.”

Avoiding eye contact with her brother she started, “Well I was walking to the library and I got a call informing me that-” she started tearing up again, “that Elise was hit by a car. That she was in the hospital, and she isn’t going to survive,” she broke down crying quietly, not able to speak about the subject anymore.

Davis’s eyes widened in shock. He went over to his sister’s side of the table and hugged her tightly.

“I’m so sorry Ann. I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better.”

She looked up at him and smiled sadly. Burying her face in his shirt, she cried until she calmed down. Thankfully, their location in the corner didn’t draw too much attention.

Davis sat down at his seat again once Annie was ready to talk again. He seemed to be thinking about something, until he finally spoke.

“Sis, I know all you want to do is continue crying all day, but that’s not going to help you deal with this. So here’s an idea. How about you go visit Elise in the hospital?” her eyes lit up at this, “You could be with her in her final moments and you would get a chance to say goodbye. You were probably already going to do this, but why not do it now? I’ll tell Mom where you are, don’t worry.”

She responded with a nod and a small ‘good idea’ before grabbing her bag to head out the door. She was about to leave when she turned around and hugged Davis tightly one more time.

“Thank you,” she said to him quietly.

And like that, she was out the door and on her way.

---

Her mind had been absent while she asked to borrow her mother’s car, getting permission with the promise to bring it back unscathed. On the road, she directed all her energy in not crashing on the way to the hospital. Racing through the city as fast as driving laws would allow her, she was getting more and more anxious to see Elise. What if she’s in a coma? What is she doesn’t remember me? What would I do? She quickly stopped that train of thought, it was too ridiculous, but continued to worry about other possibilities. She just couldn’t help herself.

When she got to the hospital, she parked the car and all but sprinted through the parking lot and up the stair to the front door. Forcing herself to breathe normally, she waited a moment before walking in, not wanting to look too desperate to see Elise as she would if she was panting and out of breath from running. The receptionist at the front desk smiled at her politely and asked what she was here for.

“I’m here to see my friend Elise Meyers.”

The receptionist smiled sadly at her, as if pitying her in some way.

“Of course sweetie. She’s right down the hall in Room 13. Just a thing you should know before you go in. We haven’t told her that she’s not going to survive past next week, to make her final days somewhat enjoyable. I didn’t get the doctors full intentions with not telling her she’s going to die, but I assume it’s to spare feelings. Telling someone they’re dying is always a tough conversation. The parents know, of course, and so do you. I wish you luck, hun,” the lady informed her softly.

Annie nodded solemnly and walked down the bleak hallway to Elise’s room. There wasn’t too much decoration, just a picture or two. The atmosphere of the hospital didn’t help her mood much, but there was nothing she could do to prepare herself for what lay ahead of her. Seeing Elise.

Once she got to the door, she took a deep breath before opening it. Inside Elise was lying on a hospital bed surrounded by several machines, talking to her parents. They all looked up at her when she entered. There was a bit of a silence before one of them spoke.

“Annie? Is that you?” Elise asked in a small voice.

“Yeah. It is. How do you feel?” Annie said with a smile that felt a little forced.

“A lot of things hurt and I’m really hurt, but it could be worse,” she replied

“That’s good. Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Meyers,” Annie said turning to Elise’s parents who both gave her a small nod.

They both looked tired, like they hadn’t slept all night, and like they might have been crying.

“Hello, Annie. Would you like to sit down? You can take my seat. We were just leaving, we need to go home and get a little sleep. I don’t want to leave Elise, but she insists that we take care of ourselves,” Mrs. Meyers said as she got up.

Annie watched as they left, before turning to Elise. She didn’t say anything, just dragged one of the chairs over next to her bedside and sat down in it. She took one of the other girl’s hands in her own.

“You worried me. You worried me sick, going and getting yourself hurt. And hurt so badly!” she says quietly while squeezing her girlfriend's hand a bit too tightly.

Elise gave a small laugh, “I didn’t mean to worry you, babe. Would I do something like this on purpose?”

“No. But, I-” she was tearing up shit, “I don’t want you leaving me…”

She didn’t want to say anything about Elise dying, but she couldn’t help it. It hurt so much. She didn’t want to lose her, but it was happening whether she wanted it or not. And Elise didn’t even know about it. She would die clueless. Clueless but happy. And Annie intended to keep it that way. She knows her heart wouldn’t be able to take it if her girlfriend was anything but happy in her last days.

Said girlfriend looked confused at her statement, “Leaving you? Who said anything about leaving you? I’m gonna stay right here, silly. Don’t you worry!”

Annie gave her a small smile and brought the other’s hand up to her mouth and gave it a little kiss. This prompted Elise to blush lightly and give a little laugh at the display of affection and teased her a little before giving her a little kiss on the cheek. The two girls continued to flirt and tease and just bask in the company of each other, one of them trying to ignore heavier topics on her mind in favor of spending time with her girlfriend. Occasionally a nurse came in to check on Elise, but they were mostly alone.

It wasn’t until several hours later, when it was almost evening, that their chatter died down. Annie’s eyes were starting to droop and she was having a harder time focusing on things. It had been an emotionally exhausting day for her and she felt ready to drop. But she wasn’t ready to leave Elise. So she stayed next to her bedside, holding her hand silently, listening to the ticking of the clock on the wall. Eventually, she fell asleep without realizing it. When she woke up, she was still holding her girlfriend’s hand and was still in the chair she had been sitting on. Although it seemed someone had draped a light blanket over her. Must have been one of the nurses taking pity on her. Looking over at the girl next to her, she noticed she was already awake, watching her with a smile on her face.

“Mornin’ Sleeping Beauty.” Elise said to her, “Did you sleep well?”

Annie rubbed her eyes and sighed, “No. I had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare? About what?” she asked worriedly.

“You,” she replied, not meeting her eyes, “You were in the hospital, just like now, and I was here with you. And then you died.”

Elise stared at her in silence. So she continued.

“You died and I couldn't take it. In the dream, I broke down crying and I was screaming about something I can’t remember. I just couldn’t bear losing you. That woke me up and I couldn’t fall asleep for another few hours. Finally, I got some dreamless sleep and then woke up. When I first woke up, I thought the dream had been real and that you were really dead...”

More silence followed until Elise lifted her hand to cup Annie’s cheek to comfort her. She spoke softly, “I’m not gonna die. I’m going to get better-”

Annie couldn’t take this, she started crying. It wasn’t true. She knew it wasn’t true. But Elise was saying it like it was the truth because it was her’s truth. She forces a smile on her face, “I love you, Elise. I want you to get better.”

“I’m really gonna get better for you. The nurses said so,” her girlfriend responded, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it.

“I believe you. I wanna hear it one more time.” Annie smiles fakely and brightly, crying so much.

“I’m gonna get better for you.” Elise smiles as the beeps of the heart monitor slow and the hand that Annie didn’t hold went limp.

#my writing #fluff #angst #tw: death #reincarnated hearts #first draft #no beta

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sighingstarbeam · 3 years ago

Text

Spies and Gods Chapter 13

Word Count: 3,988

A/N: I am SO sorry for the late update! I have a million excuses but the top two are work and writer's block. Needless to say I am back and hopefully I can crank out more chapters of this as well as a few chapters of new works. School is getting back in session soon but this will quench y'alls thirst for a little bit. Also, I edited some parts in a few chapters since I wasn't totally satisfied with them after rereading a few. I don't remember what I changed, but it shouldn't be anything major except for the name Nick changing to Nate. Stay safe and happy readings!

Chapter 12 | Chapter 14

He stood in front of you, arm outstretched as flames engulfed his entire being. His black eyes reflected the flames as they bore into your soul. You wanted to run from the boy on fire, yet your legs refused to work in your favor. The heat was unbearable as he inched closer, and closer, and closer. With a shaky hand his grip was near your throat until a familiar voice whispered your name in your ear, causing the boy in flames to recede back into the darkness.

You woke up from your deep, yet stressful sleep. Usually you wouldn’t get hangovers, but considering what happened the night before your body was heavy from exhaustion. Your head didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would, but there was a consistent, dull throb that surfaced every so often. The dream you had crept back into your mind, especially the voice that called your name. Even though it was so clear, you couldn’t place whose it was. The boy in flames was all too familiar. He was there almost every night. A sharp knock at the door distracted you from your thoughts.

You checked your phone to see the time; eight in the morning on the dot. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you shuffled out of bed. Your head pounded harder when you got to your feet, then it settled down after a moment getting yourself oriented. There was a second knock, faster this time, signaling you to hurry up. You opened the door allowing the light from the hallway to flow in your room, causing you to squint your eyes to adjust from the sudden brightness. Even though your eyes felt like they were being stabbed by light, you could still see the tall figure standing in the doorway.

“Loki, what are you doing here? It’s too early.” You asked, rubbing your eye hoping it would help adjust to the light faster.

“Good morning to you as well.” He replied, “You’re looking awfully unprepared for today. First impressions are everything on your first day. You’re lucky I even let you sleep in.” Loki visibly eyed you up and down. Your hair was a mess, there was leftover makeup smudged on your face, and your pajamas were days overdue for a wash.

This time when you squinted it was in confusion, “First day for what?” After you spoke you remembered the agreement you made with Loki the night before. “I completely forgot. Can you give me, like, thirty minutes so I can shower and eat?”

Loki tapped his chin, pondering your question, “I’ll allow it. However, if I have to wait for you again, I may have to resort to a suitable punishment.”

You rolled your eyes, “Cool, whatever. Just let me shower so I don’t smell like overpriced liquor.” You shut the door on Loki before he had a chance to say anything else. His foot halted the door before it could close entirely. Loki barged through, closing the door behind him so it was just the two of you in your room.

“Allow me to clarify the terms of our bargain,” Loki stated, “even though I changed our agreement, the fact stays that I am still the one who is in a higher position no matter which deal you chose. I would highly advise you to be a little more respectful if you don’t want your dear Avenger friends to know that you and I were outside of these walls.”

You tilted your head in a mix of confusion and annoyance, “Are you blackmailing me?” You scoffed, “You realize that if you tattle on me you’re tattling on yourself.”

“I’m highly aware. However, I’m already dealing with my punishment.”” Loki paced around the room, eyeing your belongings like it was his own personal museum, granted you didn’t have much on display. Dirty clothes were here and there, thankfully nothing embarrassing other than some shirts and a pair of pants. The only thing worth looking at was a framed photo of you, Maya, and Lilly on your dresser. Loki picked up the frame, inspecting the photo, “They refuse to put me in anyone else’s care other than their own for safety measures, so they can’t send me somewhere else. You on the other hand are disposable.”

You snatched the picture from his hand as if he was contaminating it somehow, “I’m not disposable,” you mocked his accent, “I have value here, they even said I could be part of the team. True I’m still gaining some trust, but...” Loki’s words were starting to make sense to you. They see Loki as a bigger threat than you, and with many of the members having personal experiences with him of course the Avengers refuse to let anyone else have custody. You on the other hand showed up out of the blue with a sob story and no trust to be earned. If they had to choose between the lesser of two evils, ironically you would be first on the list to kick out. Even if they don’t force you to leave, the respect you did manage to earn would be tossed out and you would have to start from square one. Once again, Loki was backing you into a corner of choices with only one viable answer.

Loki noticed you were putting the pieces together in your head, “Are we in agreement?”

You shrugged in exasperation, “Yes, fine we’re in agreement. Just don’t rat us out.” You put the photo back in it’s spot while you were on your way to the bathroom, stopping at the door, “Can you wait a minute so I can shower now?”

“Yes, you may.” Loki said, gesturing his arm out as if verbal permission wasn’t enough.

Upon entering the bathroom with your makeup still scattered around the counter from the night before, you slammed the door to make sure Loki got the hint that you weren’t completely satisfied with your deal.

You turned the handles in the shower, filling the room with the sound of flowing water and hot steam. Still sore from the night prior, you slowly undressed down to your bare skin. Looking in the mirror, you observed the bruises Nate left when he was dragging you into his car. Shame, embarrassment, regret, so many emotions filled you to the point your stomach began to churn. How could you be so stupid? You were a trained spy taught to spot any sign of danger to protect yourself. The moment a guy you thought you had a chance with came into your life, you let your guard down for one second, leading to everything going to shit. The reason you were put into that position in the first place was because you let your pride get to you after your fight with Loki. If you would have sucked it up and gone back to the party you could have at least pretended to enjoy the rest of the night. You wanted to blame Loki so bad. Blame him for putting you into that position. Yet deep down you know no one was truly at fault. Loki even saved you the second he knew something was wrong. The only thing you could do now was forget the whole ordeal happened.

You stepped into the hot shower, the soreness in your body melting away. You promised yourself to quit thinking about the attack or anything to do with it, but your mind kept slipping to the thought of Loki saving you. You know he carried you to the car, and from what you pieced together you know he messed Nate up pretty good. Perhaps there is some kindness in that god’s heart. Yet again, you were his ride home, and if you ended up missing on his accord you had a feeling that the team wouldn’t like that at all, so he was obliged to rescue you.

It was all over and done with, so there is no reason for you to dwell on it any longer.

You stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around yourself. You proceeded to brush your teeth and prepare for the “highly” anticipated day ahead of you. Opening the door, you didn’t expect Loki to still be in your room, sitting on your bed.

“Loki! What are you still doing here?” Making sure your towel was on securely, you hid halfway behind the bathroom door, “When I said to wait while I get ready I didn’t mean for you to wait here.”

“It wasn’t my intention on being here when you were finished,” Loki said, making eye contact with you but not daring to look anywhere else, “but your father is waiting for you outside.”

Your eyes widened, “What does he want?”

“I’m not sure, but I told him you were changing to buy you some time.”

If you could, your eyes widened even more, “You talked to him? Did it even occur to you what Tony would think as to why you’re in my room this early in the morning?”

“Don’t be obscure, I answered as you.” He turned his head to the door, “I suggest you hurry though, it’s been a little over five minutes since I, I mean you, spoke to him.”

You let out an annoyed groan. Opening the bathroom door fully, you stepped forward and grabbed Loki by the arm, forcing him to stand and walk with you. “Hide. If he sees you- me… us, we’re dead.” With that you shoved him in your bathroom and shut the door. Quickly you found a pair of pants and shirt to throw on, even if they were from the dirty pile of clothes.

“Sorry about that, when did you get back-” You opened your door not to be greeted by Tony, but one of his Iron Man suits. “...Why are you suited up?”

“I’m not,” the suit said as the helmet opened, revealing no one inside, “I’m still in Norway.” His suit took a few steps into your room. When he entered you closed the door behind you leaving a small gap in between the door and the frame. “We don’t have the nitty gritty details in stone but we have the green light to relocate the Asgardians. Your idea is getting somewhere, kid.”

“Really?” you beamed, “That’s great news, what’s the next step?”

“Thor is mapping out an old town named Tønsberg. It’s practically abandoned and has plenty of houses and stuff for them to get started. A lot of the buildings are worn down and need updates, but in a few months we should have everything set up for a new society.”

You were lost for words, but in the best of ways. An idea of yours was going to impact an entire civilization, to give them a second chance on an alien world. In some ways, you could compare yourself to the Asgardians. Both you and them had to watch the world around go to ruins, only to arrive somewhere new in hopes of sanctuary, or at least a stepping stone to carry on with life. Funny enough, with your situation Loki directly destroyed New York to rule it, but indirectly destroyed Asgard to save the people. Not that you were going to thank him for nearly enslaving the planet, but it was an odd comparison.

“When can the people of Asgard move to Tønsberg?” You ask, “Or are they going to call it something new since they’re calling dibs. Asgard two-point-oh?”

You could hear a static chuckle from his end, “Something like that. They’re going to send groups at a time to help with the renovations, then we can send families and such.” A moment of silence filled the room, as you thought that’d be the end of your conversation, until Tony spoke up again, “So about lunch plans-”

“We don’t have to plan it now,” you interrupt, “I understand that you and Thor have a lot of planning to do, we can talk about it when you’re really here.”

Tony nodded, “Alright then, I’ll just go break the news to your gothic neighbor and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ha, your gothic neighbor. Oh fu- “Or! Before you talk to him, if you do have the time, we can talk about ideas on where to go.” You tried to nonchalantly change the subject. Two things could go down if Tony found that Loki wasn’t in his room; number one, Loki stayed hidden in the bathroom and you get blamed for losing him on your watch, which you technically didn’t. Number two, Loki reveals he was in the bathroom the whole time, leading Tony to ask why the hell he was in there when you said you were getting dressed, leading to a bigger branch of possibilities that could all explode in your face. Either option you despised. “I’ve been living in New York for a few months, but I’ve only been to so many places that fit with my budget. I’d like to explore and try new things.”

Tony tilted his head, you thought he was calling your bluff until he shrugged, “There’s a ton of local places that are pretty good, but if you want to be adventurous there’s a seafood place on 51st…” As Tony went on about restaurants, you prayed to whoever Loki got the hint to get back to his room or you’re both in deep shit. And as if on cue, someone listened. You saw the door creep open just a couple of inches, and on the ground a small, green and black snake slithered behind Tony’s feet, out of your barely opened door, and out of sight. You tried to keep your composure and eyes focused on the suit until you heard the hardly noticeable sound of Loki’s door opening then closing. You finally relaxed the tension in your shoulders knowing that you were home free. “Any of those sound good to you?”

You snap back to the conversation between Tony and yourself, “Uh, yeah those sound good. Any of those Italian?”

“I mentioned a couple, but I can set us up with something nice.” Tony said as he headed towards the door, “I’ll catch you around, kid.” With that he closed the door behind him to tell Loki the news, unbeknownst to Tony he already did.

You let out a sigh of relief as you plopped yourself onto your bed. You desperately wanted to crawl back under the covers and sleep, but you knew you’d have to deal with the wrath of Loki again, which was quite annoying the first time. Forcing yourself up, you decided to face the day, even if it meant spending time with a stupid face.

---

Once again you found yourself in the sparring arena where you fought Bucky. This time you were facing an annoying god from another world that happens to have leverage over you, at least for the time being. You kept thinking to yourself it would only be two weeks that you would have to endure this stupid deal you stupidly made that you never thought through since you were being so stupid. If you could endure years of torturous training with Hydra, you could last a couple weeks with the trickster god.

For now you have to try to grin and bear it. Maybe once this was all over you could try to gain the upper hand in your complicated partnership, if you wanted to call it that.

“Are you familiar with Asgardian style combat?” Loki asked, adjusting the gauntlets on his wrists. You shook your head ‘no’, “Of course not.” He said under his breath, “Warriors from Asgard are taught to be resourceful in their surroundings as well as use their talents to their advantage. One would normally prefer a weapon that best suits an ability they excel in. For example, someone who uses brute strength would wield something to channel that energy, like my brother and his hammer. Or someone who has a keen eye would use something with precision such as a bow and arrow, like your friend Barton.”

You stretched your arms as you listened to Loki rambling about Asgardian fighting. The more he spoke the more you realized how he had some passion behind his teaching. The way he described the history and methods of Asgardian fighting was almost like he was retelling tales that he either lived through or were told as a child. You noticed a glint behind those green eyes of his.

“What do you use?” You interrupt Loki mid-rant.

Loki raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry?”

“If Thor has a hammer and Clint has a bow, what’s your weapon that suits you?”

Loki sighed, disappointed that you broke him off from his history lesson, “Personally I use-” He stopped mid sentence, “On second thought, how about I show you and you can come to your conclusion.” Loki conjured a dagger in each hand, without warning he lunged for the attack.

By startled instinct, you countered Loki’s movements with every stab and slice he threw at you. You were all too familiar with daggers and knives. A knife was an accessible weapon that could be used up close or at a distance with proper aim. Hydra made sure that every child could work up close and personal or throw with the aim of a marksman in order to finish the job. You couldn’t help but be reminded of the first butterfly knife you were given to practice with. The same knife you were given a week after being released from solitary confinement when you were forced to murder your best friend. Specially given to you by Kilcher himself, now forever buried under the rubble of a building. More should have been lost and forgotten in the debris. Your pain, memories, nightmares that you have every night of the torments you had to endure and bestow to others. Engulfed under concrete with Kilcher and the other Hydra men who well deserved their deaths.

Now wasn’t the best of times to brood. You snapped back to reality when you miscalculated an incoming attack, giving Loki advantage to catch you off guard. You knew he was a god, but you didn’t anticipate how strong he was. Fortunately for you, you had already disarmed Loki of both daggers.

“I’m impressed,” he said, pinning you down, “I was told that you already possessed some skill in hand to hand combat. No wonder you chose a fight with the Captain’s lackey.”

That’s right, you remembered he mentioned at the club that somebody told him about your predicament. Who told him and how much they told, you had no idea, but you didn’t really appreciate someone going around gossiping about you, particularly to the guy kicking your ass.

“Who?-” You grunted, struggling under his weight, “Who’s been telling you all of this? There’s no way anyone from the team explicitly told you my life story.”

“You’re right, no one told me directly,” he replied, “however, people like to talk when they think no one else is around to the people they trust most. If one were to look like their trusted person, you can get them to tell you anything. And you might have slipped some information to me here and there.” Confused, you didn’t know what he was implying. Then you remembered he was a shapeshifter. He was disguising himself as the other members to talk to them. Whether it was to gain intel or to ease his loneliness you weren’t positive, either option was sad. For all you knew, instead of talking to Natasha or Thor you were really talking to Loki. You hoped to whoever that you didn’t say anything embarrassing to possibly/possibly not Loki.

Throwing your hips to the side, you managed to slide your leg over his waist, allowing you to get out from under him. You were at the advantage now; blocking his attacks, reacting to his movements, you refused to let Loki beat you. Just like we used to spar, remember? His voice shot through your mind. Marcus, the boy who brought light to a blackened prison. The boy who taught you how to make good moments count.

The boy whose death was brought by your hands.

Memories flashed before your eyes. The two of you practicing in the courtyard the new moves that were taught. You don’t know why but in this moment with Loki you felt a wave of nostalgia. Seeing your guard go down, Loki took the opportunity to not hold back. You could barely keep up with the attacks as you pushed your intrusive thoughts away.

Before making your next move, a voice from the intercom startled you, “What are you two doing?” The voice boomed.

Startled by the sudden noise, you missed an attack that sent you tumbling to the ground. You regained your composure before looking up to see Steve, and he looked pissed. “Anyone care to explain what the hell I just witnessed?” Steve asked, his usual go-lucky demeanor long gone.

Loki stepped back from you, showing off his charismatic smile to woo the Captain, “If I may-”

“I don’t want to hear a word from you.” Steve snapped, “I want to hear from her.”

All eyes on you, time seemed to slow down and speed up as you tried to think of a valid excuse. “It was my idea,” you began, “I was feeling rusty with fighting and everyone was busy with missions and stuff, so Loki is my voluntary human punching bag.”

Loki looked offended, “I’m not a human nor a punching bag, but yes she requested my assistance in sparring and as I clearly have nothing else to do I said yes.”

Steve rubbed his chin in thought. He trusted you way more than Loki, but he couldn’t help but feel like Loki was up to something. “Alright. I don’t have a say in this since it’s not my call, but I don’t want to see this happen again until you get Tony’s permission.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, “Fine, I’ll ask him.” Steve nodded, then glared at Loki before leaving the gallery.

“You’re distracted.” said Loki, offering his hand to help you up.

“Of course I am,” you pointed up towards the gallery, “I totally would have had you if he didn’t interrupt.” You ignored his gesture and stood up on your own. Your body was already aching, you were sure there would be bruises by tomorrow.

“That’s not what I’m talking about. There is something else intruding your thoughts. Allowing your memories to surface during combat can be beneficial, but also a distraction. You need to only think of your training and what drives you to fight.” Loki’s words were sincere. This was one of the few times his tone felt mocking or sarcastic. “If there are memories or something that you need to get off your chest, you need to find peace with it even if it’s for a few minutes.”

“What are you, my shrink?” You dusted yourself off of dirt from the mats, “Listen, I appreciate the lectures and words or wisdom, but I need to deal with my personal problems on my own. It’s nothing against you, honest. It’s just a thing I need to do. And quit shapeshifting into my friends. If you want to talk to someone you can always ask.”

Loki nodded, “I will respect that.” You were surprised with how mature he was handling this. It was almost sweet. “Now that I’ve seen exactly how much you can handle, I can determine our future sessions from this point forward.” he said as you both exited the arena.

“Right, if we even have future sessions. I need to talk to Tony and get his blessing.”

“I’m sure he will allow you to use me as a ‘human punching bag’.” He smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

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thatlongspringnight · 7 years ago

Note

Woohoo~ *throws candies on the air* It's halloween party time, m'lady!! May I request SLBP Lords in Halloween party hosted by Keiji scene! :3 p.s: i'm sure ladies would be curious how they gonna dress up based on their personality! ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง

THE LORDS AT A HALLOWEEN PARTY (College AU Edition)

(OKAY SO THIS ENDED UP BEING A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.)We all know that Keiji is going to throw a complete rager of a party. Free flowing liquor, lots of food, and wild dancing.We also know that ALL the lords are going to show up, whether they want to or not. In costume and on constant guard. You never know when Keiji is going to swoop in for a kiss. 😉

Nobunaga: Well, he wouldn’t be called the Devil King if he didn’t come dressed as one, right? Our scarlet devil comes with a snazzy sharp and incredibly expensive tux and a black and red cape. Honestly, it’s a compromise, Nobu didn’t want to dress up but did it begrudgingly for MC. He didn’t want to “Look like a fool in front of men like the Tiger of Kai.” So he’s dressed to the 9’s and ready to party. His MC comes as a demure angel (because yes they are the couple that chose to be the devil/angel combo). Just revealing enough, she looks striking in a clinging white silk dress and wings. He’s sure to be taking that halo of her’s off halfway through the night in one of the many empty rooms wherever Keiji decided to host his party.

Mitsuhide: He puts a lot of thought into his costume, he really does. Whatever he chooses he’s going to put the most effort into. This year he picks a more traditional costume. Vampire, a classic. Also, oddly enough (and totally not planned) he manages to come dressed closely enough to Nobunaga, that everyone wonders…did they match on purpose? Mitsuhide’s MC dresses like a cat, also a classic, complete with ears and a swishy tail. She spends the night teaching him all the dances to the music they are listening too. He doesn’t drink so she can. They retire from the party early, because he can’t get enough of how good she looks in that cat outfit and wouldn’t you know she has a perfectly shaped hickey the next day…Guess he really took his costume to heart, huh?

Hideyoshi: What he really wanted to wear was one of those couples’ costumes, like the plug and plug-in. He was firmly denied. So he ends up going to the costume party dressed as a werewolf to his MC’s little red riding hood. Is it cheesy? Yes. Does he love it? Sure. If it means he gets to prowl the entire party and wander behind people and scare them. He’s about it. His MC is less appreciative of his efforts. But she looks killer in her outfit, so she doesn’t mind as much. Hideyoshi of the 1000 lovers does get an earful for flirting too hard with Toshiie’s MC, some things never change. Oh, and he did not manage to avoid Keiji’s kisses. He got a lot of Keiji kisses that night, tongue and all.

Inuchiyo: Everyone knows poor Toshiie is being forced to go as a puppy. With a collar, ears, and everything. Hideyoshi all but dressed him himself when he found out that Toshiie hadn’t gotten a costume yet. So expect lots of pouting, he doesn’t want to be at Keiji’s party anyways, but in his own words, he couldn’t leave his MC alone there with guys like that. Once the party kicks off and he starts drinking, he gets happier and manages to lose his shirt. Not that his MC minds the show (or any of the other people there, really, we all know Toshiie is gorgeous). His MC plays along and also dresses up as a puppy, to lessen the sting. Hideyoshi was more than willing to buy her a more ‘dominating’ outfit so she could ‘show the puppy who his owner was’ but was respectfully and firmly denied. She ends up having to cart his drunk ass home after the party. But he rewards her later for it…and he keeps the collar on.

Mitsunari: This tsundere does NOT want to go to any stupid, foolish, insipid party. That is…he doesn’t want to go until Hideyoshi invites him. Once that happens, he’s going. He’s going for Hideyoshi, don’t mistake his reasoning for anything else. Nevermind that maybe his MC wanted to go, and maybe she convinced Hideyoshi to put in a good word. Mitsunari leaves the costume decisions to his MC, so they end up going as Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. For most of the party Mitsunari sticks with Hideyoshi, that is until his MC starts chatting with Ieyasu about their shared classes. The moment that happens he has her on the dancefloor, safely away from that ‘golden-haired bastard’. Waltzing to the music doesn’t make sense, but it works. Oh and he’s the one that gets too drunk because of Hideyoshi so his MC spends the rest of the night, once they are home, rubbing his back and comforting him as he vomits.

Ieyasu: Ieyasu goes purely because Nobunaga is going. He doesn’t fight it. Doesn’t make a scene. But he wears that unsettling smile of his the entire time. He also doesn’t “dress up” really. He styles himself more like Phantom of the Opera or Interview with the Vampire while wearing a masquerade mask. He drinks in moderation and listens to what ~everyone~ has to say. He can’t stop himself from his snide comments though and almost manages to get into fights with Mitsunari and Yukimura, although both come to naught. His MC wears a slinky black dress and a mask too (just to match, Ieyasu, jeez) and spends the rest of the night dodging references from 50 shades of grey. Jokes that have Ieyasu pouting and flustered by the end of the night. She’s willing to handle a bit of fussing from him because she knows where it leads, especially when he’s been eyeing her like that all night. Maybe some of those Christian Grey rumors weren’t wrong.

Yukimura: Talk about being PUMPED for this party. Yukimura is so excited to dress up with his MC and have a good time with all his friends. He dresses up in the soccer uniform of his favorite team and even brings a soccer ball to the party. He and Inuchiyo DO have a drinking match at some point in the evening, for sure. His MC dresses as a nurse, and no not a suggestive nurse. She spends most of the night actually administering first aid at this party. All the people getting drunk and falling keep her busy. Not to mention that her poor boyfriend can’t seem to keep himself from running into things when he gets wasted. That isn’t to say she doesn’t own a sexy nurse costume, she just saves it for after the party, where she can use it on Yukimura. Saizo: Saizo goes because Yukimura wants to go and Saizo’s MC wants to go. So, He guesses he is going. He dresses as a stylized version of himself. So imagine the professor vibe up to 11, complete with glasses. He’s pretty much drop dead gorgeous. He spends most of the party keeping his girlfriend out of the clutches of Keiji and making sure Yukimura and co. stay out of trouble. He is the one to ensure that the people who work for the tiger of kai make it home safe that night. Although no one realizes it. His is a thankless job. His MC dresses like a school girl, plaid skirt, blazer, thigh highs and everything. Mostly to taunt her boyfriend. Keiji thinks she looks precious and is pretty glued to her most the night. When he starts drinking she starts passing him off to unsuspecting people to avoid getting kissed. Although she does give him a peck on the cheek for his efforts, much to Saizo’s chagrin. But then again, he does get to punish her for bad behavior, doesn’t he?

Masamune: He and MC go as pirates! Mostly because it’s a costume where his eyepatch doesn’t stick out so much, so it makes him feel more comfortable. They take the time to handmake their costumes together, because its something they can use to spend time with one another, and his MC is great at sewing. There IS a costume contest and they are the winners, granted their prizes are just Keiji kisses, but still. Masamune drinks and gets a little tipsy, and it is revealed that he is a lot more touchy when drunk, so he spends the rest of the night basically glued to his girlfriend, not that she minds. Shigezane takes lots of embarrassing pictures of the two of them to show them when they sober up.

Kojuro; “We should dress up as Bontenmaru, MC” “No” Kojuro really does want to dress up as bontenmaru the turtle. But his MC and Shigezane hardcore veto that. So he ends up going as Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. Complete with a cape…and a rose…and random declarations. Finally, his MC gets to decide if her teen crush on Tuxedo mask lives up to her man. Her man dressed as Tuxedo mask takes the cake. Kojuro’s MC dresses up as Sailor Moon, duh. She basically has to. They come in 2nd place to Masamune and his MC for costumes in the contest. Although Kojuro and his MC end up taking the most pictures, especially posing and quoting the show. A bunch of the girls at the party end up taking a sailor senshi style photo with Kojuro’s MC in the middle. It’s a magical night.

Kenshin: Kenshin is too pretty for normal costumes. He goes in traditional clothing, heavily embroidered, and he might be wearing makeup? No one is sure if his ethereal beauty is natural or not. His MC is the group photographer, so she wears normal clothes and just takes pictures. Not that she minds, she prefers it this way. She takes so many stylized shots she considers making them into a book at the end of the night.

Shingen: Shingen 110% shows up to this party in a tiger pint loincloth and cat ears and that is it. He spends the night mostly with Yukimura and Kenshin and ignoring little Nobunaga and his death glare. They can settle their political arguments outside of social time after all. His lady goes as a lion tamer, although he’s no lion, the idea doesn’t go unnoticed. She’s got a whip and everything. He doesn’t mind. He certainly doesn’t mind later on.

Bonus:

Shigezane: He’s had his costume planned since last year. He goes as a referee, he even has a whistle. He uses this to spend the entire night jumping into random situations at the party, blowing the whistle and shouting “PARTY FOUL.” He even gives people red cards, where is he carrying all those red cards? He also takes part in the Yukimura/Inuchiyo drinking contest. He has a blast. He is the only person to willingly kiss Keiji apart from Kenshin. His MC goes as princess bubblegum from Adventure time. She wanted to do a Disney princess, but couldn’t pick one. Either way, the princess starts a game of captain dickhead and gets most of the other MCs drunk, because she’s so good at holding her liquor. At the end of the night, he gives her a piggyback ride home because he’s a gentleman

. Hotaru: Hotaru has to go because big-brother Saizo is going and so is Kenshin. Obviously. So he and his MC dress up that day after finding out. He goes as a forest spirit. Lots of leaves. The look suites his innocent face. His wide eyes shining under his flower crown. His MC goes as a deer. Her makeup sealing the deal, and she even wears a headband with little antlers. They end up fast friends with Masamune and his MC and end up sort of separating from the wildness of the party to form a smaller, quieter party. At the end of the night, he and his MC go stargazing.

Oichi, Umeko, and Kiku: What, you thought they wouldn’t come? They totally come. Luckily for Kojuro’s MC, they come dressed as other Sailor Senshi! Because those girls are the best. Oichi is Sailor Mars, Umeko is Sailor Venus and Kiku is Mercury.

Now, where is Keiji in all this? Wandering the crowd, drinking, and kissing everyone of course! He comes to his party dressed as Cupid so he can give “shots” of love (actual alcoholic shots, and shots that are just kisses!) It’s a great party and everyone remembers it for one reason or another. It’s a great party, the end.

Tagging: @lady-of-oshu and @han-pan and anyone else who wants to read this? :3

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gilbertandanne · 8 years ago

Text

AU College Fic. Farkle never figured out how Riley really felt about Lucas, so it never got out. Now she’s turning 21 and the gang decides to go to Las Vegas to celebrate. Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Rating: M

Pairing: Rucas

Word Count: 7,236

Cross-posted at ff.net

Soundtrack (although not at all organized and subject to edits)

A/N: Warning: this chapter sucks. Something got lost in translation from my brain to my fingers. I’ve tried to smooth it out the best I could, but I’m still not happy with it. Also, if you’re curious about the chapter title thing, there is a HUGE clue about the origination in this chapter.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | J | Q | K | A | J |

Chapter Eleven: Knave

A standard room at the Bellagio runs around $200 a night, but he didn’t want there to be anything standard about what the next few hours held for them. He knew exactly what kind of room she would want without her ever having to say a word. He knew that she would want one with a magnificent view of what had captivated her attention every time her beautiful brown eyes landed on it. Without a second thought, he knew that she would want a picture perfect view of the fountains, although if he had his way, she would miss the rest of the shows that night.

She wasn’t sure how he managed to slide the key card in and pull on the handle while he had her pinned against the door. Their lips seemed to have been permanently bonded together the moment they reunited in the elevator on the way up to the 21st floor.

Thankfully, no one else had joined them on the ride up. Even if they had, Riley wasn’t sure that they would be able to wait. It was completely unexplainable. They had been able to keep their distance from one another for so long. It stood to reason that they could wait another five minutes.

But they couldn’t.

Seven years of repression erupted from them the moment he told her that he loved her. She wasn’t sure how they made it as far as the elevator without ripping one another’s clothes off.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind them, and they were finally alone, she knew that all bets were off.

“Tell me again,” he growled as he pulled her to him. “I have to hear it again.”

“I love you.” She barely got the words out before his lips crashed to hers in a frenzy. As the elevator began its trek up to their floor, their hands roamed all over one another as their mouths refused to be separated. Nothing else existed in that moment but them, this moment, and the realization that they were literally holding onto everything they had ever wanted.

She gasped as he lifted her off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pressed her back against the wall of the elevator. She snaked her arms around his neck in a desperate effort to get even closer to him. She wiggled in his arms in sheer anticipation as she felt his hands slide up her dress. A shiver rippled through her entire body when he finally gripped her ass.

“I need you,” she begged the second he released his lips from hers. As soon as his lips connected with her collarbone, she arched her back as a soft moan escaped her. “Lucas, I can’t wait another second.”

Riley reluctantly opened her eyes as the elevator chimed. They had made it to the 21st floor. As the doors opened, she noticed that no one was on the other side. Lucas said nothing to her as he carried her down the hallway to the room.

As soon as he opened the door to the hotel room, he scooped her in his arms once more as he hurried inside. He had her dress already halfway unzipped by the time he booted the door closed behind them.

Riley kicked her heels off as he carried her the entire way to the bed. As soon as her feet touched the ground, she slid her dress down. She always thought she would be scared to death about her first time, but there wasn’t a nervous bone in her entire body. Why should she feel nervous when everything felt so right?

As her dress pooled around her ankles, her eyes locked onto his. The look of pure adoration in his eyes was enough to fill her with a confidence she had never felt before as she stepped out of the garment. She closed the space between them as her hands reached for the tie around his neck.

As she began to loosen his tie, he leaned forward to place a soft kiss against her lips. “I love you,” he murmured as he threaded his fingers through her hair. As she slid the tie off and reached for the top buttons of his shirt, he placed his hand over hers to stop her. “I never stopped loving you…even though you told me that you only saw me as a brother.”

If her head had been a little clearer, if her heart had been a little less scared, if she hadn’t heard his comments to Zay earlier that night, or if she had been able to keep her brain turned off, then maybe it would have happened just like that. Maybe she would have lost her virginity to Lucas Friar at the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas on her 21st birthday.

But she didn’t.

She was practically catatonic as seven years of memories—of everything she thought was real but suddenly wasn’t—faded away into something much more complex and raw. She had been wrong about everything the entire time? It didn’t make sense.

She shook her head as his words bounced around her mind. Her knees desperately tried not to buckle from underneath her as she tried to pull herself out of her daydream. Her eyes fell to the ground as her brain finally caught up with everything that had happened between them in the last fifteen minutes. He loved her when they were in Texas and she stepped back? He loved her now? What about the parade of girls that had gone in and out of his life in between then and now? What about what he told Zay earlier that night? What about that stupid party? What about the girls who had surrounded him all night? Everything he said to her contradicted the last seven years of her life. How could she even begin to process all of this, especially while she was inebriated? How could she push through the fog in order to reach the logical part of her brain when her body screamed at her to stop thinking and do whatever it took to get him into that hotel room?

As her eyes slowly wandered back up to him, she realized that he was no longer standing in front of her. He left.

Again.

He left her on the patio at Hyde for the second time that night. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked back at the fountains for a moment. “No,” she murmured before she turned back toward the door to the club. It wasn’t right. He couldn’t just tell her that he loved her and then walk away from her. That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he could say all of that and not give her a moment to process the fact that that everything she had known about the last seven years was a complete and utter lie.

With a renewed sense of determination, she marched back into the club. The adrenaline that filled her carried her trembling legs as she looked for him at the table, every bar in the club, and even the dance floor. She must have searched for him for twenty minutes before she began to worry. Where had he gone? He didn’t actually leave the club, did he?

By the time she reached the table, her adrenaline had completely evaporated as a blind panic charged through her senses. “Where is he,” she asked the small group.

Maya frowned as she took in Riley’s frazzled appearance. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were bloodshot, and she seemed to be coming apart at the seams. Maya knew it only had to mean one thing. “Lucas?”

Riley nodded.

“He left,” Farkle answered.

Riley crossed her arms over her chest as she released a shaky breath. “He left? W-Where did he go?” She glanced around the table. She noticed that the two women he had been around for most of the night were also gone. “W-What happened to those girls?”

“They left too,” Dylan told her before he finished off the rest of his beer. “Around the same time he did.” He glanced at Asher as he sat the empty glass back down on the table. “Dude, do you think he left with both of them?”

Asher shrugged. Truthfully, he had no idea what was going on with Lucas. First, he didn’t say a word about being in Las Vegas when he knew damn well that Dylan and he were going to be there. Secondly, Lucas had barely said two words to him all night. Thirdly, he seemed to have this major chip on his shoulder. He wasn’t acting like the Lucas he had grown up with and had known for most of his life.

Maya’s frown deepened as she listened to Dylan. She looked back up at Riley, whose eyes were filled with tears. Something bad had happened. Something major and bad. She was afraid to ask, but knew that she had to. “What happened?”

Riley slowly shook her head as desperately tried not to fall apart in the middle of the crowded club. She couldn’t lose it now. She had to remain calm. She had to remain focused. She had to find him.

“Are you ok,” Zay asked her as he climbed out of the booth.

She shook her head again. “Um…I’m getting a little tired. I think I’m going to…head back.”

“We’re coming too,” Maya insisted as she stood up. She had no idea what was going on with Riley, but there was no way she was going to let her go back to the hotel by herself.

Riley tried to text him the entire ride back to the hotel. As soon as the group entered the suite, she made a beeline to the bedroom she shared with Maya. She quickly dialed his number as she closed the door behind her. After four rings, his voicemail kicked in. “Lucas, i-it’s Riley. I-I’m sorry that I didn’t immediately respond to what…to what you said. I…I was in shock…and I’m…I’m really drunk…you’re really drunk…and i-it’s just a lot to take in. I mean…did you even mean it? God, I probably shouldn’t even be asking you this over a voicemail because what if you didn’t mean it? What if…what if it all came out in the heat of the moment? What if it was just…what if it was just some drunken word vomit because we were about to—“ she cringed as she pulled the device away from her ear. She quickly erased the message and started a new one. “Lucas, it’s Riley. Please call me back or text me or something. No one knows where you went and I’m worried. Just…just send me something to let me know that you’re…that you’re ok. Don’t worry about waking me up. I’m not going to be able to sleep until I know that you’re ok. Ok. Bye.” She hung up her phone as she slowly sat down on the bed.

She ran a hand through her hair before she fell backward on the bed. She gripped her phone and closed her eyes as she tried to quell the intense urge to bawl her eyes out. Was it real? Did he love her or was it because of the fact that they were about to do something incredibly stupid right outside of a Las Vegas nightclub?

She groaned as she rolled over onto her stomach and buried her face in the mattress. She would have gladly and eagerly given her virginity to him outside of that club if it had gotten that far. God, if his fingers felt that amazing, how incredible would it feel to actually have him inside of her?

An image of the two women he had been with for a good chunk of the night flashed through her mind. Riley’s stomach churned as a wave of nausea overcame her. Was he with them right now? Were they at wherever those girls were staying? Were they having the time of their lives because Riley hesitated—because she couldn’t immediately give him what he wanted at that moment?

‘No,’ she reasoned as she tapped her phone against the bed. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t tell her something like that and then run off with two complete strangers.

At the same time though, he was drunk and she knew that he was mad at her. What would stop him from doing something like that—especially if he didn’t know how she felt? She knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but if he didn’t know how she really felt, what would stop him from making his threesome dreams a reality?

She squinted as she glanced at her phone. Nothing. “Dammit Lucas,” she muttered as she slowly sat back up. He could yell, scream, call her every name in the book if he wanted to; she just needed to know that he was ok.

Maya knocked on the door once before she entered the room. “Hey.”

Riley turned to her. “Hey.” She knew Maya had to be curious about what had transpired at the club, but Riley had no idea what to say to her. She had no idea what was going to happen next. She wasn’t sober enough to field questions about what she and Lucas were, are, or going to be. All she knew was that she wasn’t going to be able to sleep until he came back to the suite.

“Do you want Asher and Dylan to leave?”

Riley shook her head before she looked back down at her phone. “No…I have a feeling I’ll be up for awhile.”

“You haven’t heard anything from him yet?”

“Nope,” she sighed.

Maya walked around the bed in order to sit down next to Riley. “What happened?”

Riley ran a hand through her hair once more. “I can’t even begin to tell you…not now anyway.” She slowly stood up before she walked toward the dresser to grab a change of clothes. The small act distracted her—gave her something else to think about for one second that didn’t completely revolve around him.

“Ok, you don’t have to tell me…not now, not even later if you don’t want to. I just want you to be ok.”

“I’m fine,” she lied as she pulled out a pair of shorts and a tank top. “I just…I need a distraction. I need to get my mind off of him before I completely lose it.” She tossed the garments on the bed before she looked up at Maya. “Why’d he leave, Maya? Where did he go? Who is he with?”

“I wish I knew.” As she watched Riley throw her hair back into a bun, Maya couldn’t help but to feel helpless about the whole situation. She knew that Riley was about to come apart at the seams, and there was nothing she could do about it. She was beginning to regret not locking them in a room when she had the chance. “I’m sure he’s ok. The guys said that he disappears sometimes…he’ll be back soon. I’m sure of it.”

“But he just left.” Riley clenched her fists as her lips formed a thin line. Was he ignoring her on purpose? Had he listened to her voicemail yet? What if he really left with those girls? What if he was covered in lipstick and cheap perfume when he finally decided to come back? The pit in Riley’s stomach swelled at the mere thought of it. “I called. I texted. He’s not answering anything.”

“Maybe he went to the casino or something,” Maya tried to reason. “I’m sure he’s not ignoring you on purpose. He’ll call. I know he’ll call.” As Maya stood up, she thought of a hundred different ways she could kill Lucas and make it seem like an accident. She knew that whatever happened had to be some ridiculous misunderstanding, but she would always have a fierce loyalty to the brunette who seemed to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She knew she needed to stay out of it, but if he hurt her, Maya knew she couldn’t be held accountable for the certain pain she would inflict on him. “Zay’s ordering food from downstairs. Any special requests?”

Riley shrugged. Food was the last thing on her mind. “I’m ok with whatever you guys want.”

“I’ll let you get changed.” When Maya reached the door, she turned back to Riley once more. “It’ll work out, Riley. I know he’s not going to do anything stupid.”

Riley laughed as she took another sip of her drink. An hour had passed since she seemed to be on the verge of a complete meltdown. Within that hour, her mood must have changed five different times. She was worried, then she was upset with herself, then she was angry with herself, then she was angry with him, and finally, she reached the most dangerous stage of all: denial. She had managed to convince herself that she didn’t care where he was or what he was doing. He hadn’t called her. He hadn’t texted her back. He had been gone for about an hour and a half, and Riley figured that he must be trying to punish her for hesitating, for trying to work through their complicated history before responding to his confession. He had no right to be mad at her. She needed to think. She never even wanted to have that conversation while they were intoxicated. He pushed it. He pushed her and then he left without waiting to hear an answer from her. This wasn’t her fault. And now, he was gone. He was somewhere in Las Vegas ignoring all communication attempts she made to him. “Someone has to teach me about blackjack before I lose all of my money tomorrow at the casino.”

Maya glared at the drunken brunette as she watched Riley slowly lean closer to Asher. She knew that she had encouraged Riley to have fun and maybe forget about the whole Lucas thing for now, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted to see her friend quite like this. She was more than pissed off at Lucas and the way he abandoned whatever conversation they were having. As she listened to Riley giggle at something Asher said, Maya knew she would be damned if she let Riley do something she would regret in the morning. She had to keep an eye on the brunette. She was drunk, embarrassed, and angry. She wasn’t sure what Riley was capable of right now. She had never seen her so worked up in her entire life.

Zay shuffled the deck of cards before he dealt out two to everyone. “Ok, Riley…for this round, I’ll show you my cards so I can tell you what is what and everything.” He flipped his cards over as dealt out everyone’s hands face up. “Ok, so I have a dime and a deuce.”

She frowned. “Wait. What?”

“They’re just nicknames for a ten and a two. The number cards value is whatever it says. The face cards—jack, queen, and king—have the value of ten…like dimes do. Aces can count as either eleven or one.”

She nodded as she narrowed her eyes at the cards in front of her. “Ok, so I have a queen and an eight…so, I have eighteen.”

“Exactly.” How was it possible that Riley had gone through the first twenty-one years of her life having never played blackjack—even just for fun? “Now, the object is to get the closest to 21 without going over. Your goal is to beat whatever the dealer has.”

She nodded. She had never played this card game before, but the concept seemed simple enough. “Ok…so...hit me.”

“I thought you said you never played before,” he smiled before he looked back down at her cards. “I gotta tell you though that eighteen is pretty good. I might stay if I were you.”

She grinned as she reached for her drink. “I’ve seen the movie ‘21’ and I like to live dangerously.”

He laughed. “Very well.” He turned up her card. “Wow. A trey. You’ve got 21.”

Riley squealed as she victoriously raised her hands in the air. “Yes!”

“I really don’t understand where Lucas went.” Dylan rubbed the back of his neck as he wandered back over to the rest of the group. Yeah, Lucas had been known to disappear at times, but he would usually tell someone where he was headed and an idea as to when he would be back. Even if he ran off with those girls, he thought for sure that he would at least text someone to let them know not to wait up for him.

Zay shook his head as he shuffled the cards. “I wish I knew. He only said that he needed some space and a change of scenery.”

Riley stared at Zay until he finally looked up at her. Thank God for vodka. An hour ago, she would have been scared to ask anyone where he could have gone, but now, after not hearing anything from him, and after consuming two more drinks, the brunette felt more prepared to face the truth—no matter how much it hurt. “Is that code for wanting to have sex with a random stranger…or strangers as the case may be?”

Zay furrowed his eyebrows. Where did that come from? “You know he’s not like that, Riley.”

“Zay, you have to admit that he does go through girls pretty quickly.” Farkle reached for a slice of pizza. “I think I’ve never loved pizza more than at 3:30 in the morning.”

As Zay dealt the cards, he shook his head. “Yeah, it might seem like he goes through a lot of girls. I mean…he’s had a lot of girlfriends, but that’s not exactly what…he’s not that guy. Trust me.”

“Then what’s going on with him?” Maya wasn’t sure what to think anymore. She thought she had a picture perfect view of him, but this whole disappearing act—not to mention Riley’s emotional roller coaster ride since he left—suggested that he wasn’t at all who she thought he was. Something wasn’t adding up.

Zay sighed. He wanted to tell everyone why Lucas had been in a sour mood throughout the whole trip. He wanted to tell everyone everything he had learned earlier that evening, but as much as everyone liked to think that Zay couldn’t keep his mouth shut, he knew that this time, he had to. If Lucas wanted to tell Riley how he really felt, then he would. It wasn’t Zay’s call to make that decision for him. “I can’t get into that right now.” He glanced at Riley. She seemed worried when they first got back to the suite, but for the last half hour or so, she acted as carefree as she was at the beginning of the night. Maybe Lucas was off trying to figure out how to tell her how he felt? There was no way he was somewhere having sex with a random stranger—not after the way he acted earlier. He wouldn’t sabotage himself like that, would he? “Besides, it’s her birthday and I know we all just want to have a good time, right?”

Maya slowly nodded. “Yeah. Right.” She wasn’t sure where Lucas was, who he was with, or what he was doing, but at that moment, Maya knew that when morning came, she was going to have a little chat with him.

“Enough with the heavy stuff then.” Asher was beyond exasperated by the conversation as he stood up. It was Riley’s birthday and he was tired of theorizing what was going on with Lucas. The guy was one of his best friends, but none of them were in the right state of mind to accurately assess his state of mind. He wanted to have fun with the people he only saw once a year. He wanted Riley to have a good birthday. “We have this incredible suite. Let’s make the most of the rest of this night.”

“What do you suggest,” Farkle asked.

Asher looked around the living room. There was the pool table, the bowling alley, and the hot tub. The possibilities were endless, but he wasn’t sure which option would be the most entertaining for everyone. “I don’t know. What did you guys do last night?”

Lucas thought for sure everyone would be asleep by the time he made it back to the suite. It had to be close to 4:00am. Time had completely slipped away from him. He didn’t want to have a third round with Riley tonight. He was irritated with himself for walking away from her after his admission, but he didn’t see any possible positive outcome for him—especially when she didn’t immediately say anything back to him. He figured that she would laugh in his face, not believe him at all, or feel obligated to say something like that in return. As he waited for her to say something—anything—he realized that his admission wasn’t fair to either of them because in her drunken state, he wasn’t going to entertain any response from her. He didn’t even mean to let it slip out like that. So, instead of putting her through the pressure of having to answer him, he left. He didn’t know what else to do at the time.

He was frustrated, angry, and more than a little drunk as he climbed into the elevator to go back to the penthouse suite. He had never been this angry with himself. He had been able to keep everything together for seven years and within a few heated minutes, he had drunkenly bared his soul to her.

As he walked out of the elevator, he prayed that everyone would be asleep. He couldn’t stomach the idea of confronting her, or any of them, right now.

All he wanted to do was forget the whole thing for a little while. So, he sat alone at one of the bars downstairs for nearly two hours as he desperately tried to forget everything that had transpired with Riley.

Only, he couldn’t forget. He realized that he didn’t want to forget. As much as it would hurt to get rejected by her again, he knew that he had finally taken a chance. It took him years—and a lot of alcohol—to get to that point, but he finally told her how he felt.

She was in his arms. For a few glorious moments, he knew that she had melted into him. God, he wanted nothing more than to get a room for the night for them—something private, something special. He knew that he’d never want anyone the way he wanted her as his fingers dipped into paradise. The gateway to Utopia was pressed against his fingertips and it was at that moment that he knew he wanted to live there forever.

But then he had to open his mouth and beg her to be his. He had gotten greedy by wanting more and more of her. She didn’t want to talk about it while they were drunk, so instead of respecting her wishes, he pushed her. Why?

Because he needed to hear the words more than he needed to feel her around him.

He was a fool—a hopeless fool in love.

He sighed as he slid the key card into the door. As he opened the door, he was mildly surprised to hear conversation come from the living room.

As he wandered into room, his curious frown deepened as he came face to face with the one thing he was trying to avoid the entire trip. His heart dropped into his stomach as his eyes refused to look away from them.

Riley and Asher. Asher and Riley. He knew that he was drunk. He hoped that he would be unable to recollect the sight before him when morning came, but as he watched one of his oldest friends kiss the woman he was in love with, Lucas knew that the image had been permanently seared into his brain.

As the door closed behind him, Riley detached her lips from Asher. The others were also in the living room, but Lucas wasn’t interested in what they were doing or what their reactions were to his presence. He only wanted to see her reaction. He only wanted to know if she cared that he had forced himself to watch her lips move against someone else’s.

“There you are,” Dylan happily exclaimed.

The others remained completely silent. No one wanted to move, to breathe, out of fear for what might happen next. The look on his face said it all, at least it did to Maya, Zay, and Farkle.

Riley’s eyes widened as she spun around to face him. Her hands fell to her sides as she waited for him to say something—to react—to do anything other than look at her as if she had just stabbed him in the back. She didn’t even want to play the stupid game in the first place. She only did it because she didn’t want to go to bed. She didn’t want to be left alone with her thoughts. She didn’t want to call him for the twentieth time and plead for him to come back to the suite.

“Y-Yeah,” Maya stammered as she looked back and forth between Lucas and Riley. How was she the first person to recover from the shock of Lucas coming back? She thought for sure Zay or Farkle would have already explained the situation to him. Did they know what was happening between Lucas and Riley? “We were just playing truth or dare.”

Lucas slowly walked further into the living room as he slid his jacket off. “I bet.” A lot of emotions charged at him in that moment, but the only one that seemed to have a stranglehold on his heart was the feeling of complete and utter defeat.

“Do you want to play with us,” Asher asked as Lucas casually laid his jacket on the back of one of the chairs by the bar. The entire mood of the room shifted the moment his friend walked into the suite. He wasn’t sure why everyone seemed so tense all of a sudden.

Lucas bit down on his bottom lip as he turned back to the group. He glanced at Asher before his eyes finally rested on Riley. “No,” he answered calmly as he loosened his tie. “I’m done playing games.”

The hardness in his tone nearly knocked Riley back. She crossed her arms over her chest as she tried to steady her nerves. “Where were you?” Her voice quaked with every syllable. She didn’t want to know, but at the same time, she had to know.

He slid his tie off his neck. He didn’t notice the tremor in her tone. His despondency had completely taken over him. It was easier to deal with what he had just witnessed this way. This way, he could retreat to his room without making another unnecessary scene with her. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“I bet you met a girl,” Dylan grinned as he slapped his friend on the back. He wasn’t sure why Maya, Riley, Farkle, and Zay seemed so tense. “She wore you out too, right?”

Lucas’s eyes never left Riley’s. “Yeah,” he answered slowly before he sighed. “She really wore me out.” His heart ached more and more with every breath he took. Maybe he should have stayed downstairs until the sun came up. At least then, he wouldn’t have the mental image of her lips locked with Asher’s in his mind.

“Nice,” Dylan smirked before he wandered over to the bar to grab another beer.

“You guys have fun,” Lucas told the group before he finally tore his eyes away from the brunette who remained frozen in her spot in the middle of the living room. Lucas looked down at the tie in his hands as he turned to go to his and Zay’s room. “It’s been a long day and I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

As she watched Lucas retreat to his room, Riley could feel a wave of tears sting her eyes. It was their second night in Las Vegas and both nights left her in tears because of something stupid she did. She wanted to go to him. She wanted to talk to him, but at that moment, she had no idea what to say to him. She also knew that perhaps for the first time ever, he didn’t appear to want to talk to her at all.

“And then there were two,” Zay sighed. Once Lucas went to bed, the others slowly drifted to their rooms. Farkle was able to get Asher and Dylan a ride back to their hotel before he went to bed. Maya waited until Asher and Dylan actually left before she finally called it a night, which left Riley and Zay alone in the living room.

“It’s 5:30,” Riley stated as she looked down at her hands. She didn’t feel nearly as intoxicated as she did earlier in the night, but she still felt out of it. She wasn’t tired, although the severe lack of sleep over the last two days made her body cry out in a desperate need to rest. Her brain wouldn’t let her—not yet anyway.

“I know you’ve got to be tired,” he yawned. He knew he was exhausted. It was a fun night, for the most part. He hated to see it end, but they also had one full day left. Although they weren’t going to party quite so hard their final night in town, they were still planning on having fun at the casinos. He and the guys had a 1:00pm tee time on one of the golf courses while Maya and Riley had a spa day planned. He was going to be dead on his feet if he didn’t at least try to get a few hours of sleep in. “Why don’t we go to bed?”

She crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned back into the seat. “I’m not sleepy.”

Zay frowned. “How is that possible? We’ve been up for almost 24 hours.”

Riley bit her bottom lip. She knew that dragging Zay into this whole situation probably wasn’t a good idea, but if anyone knew what was going on in Lucas’s mind, it was Zay. He had known Lucas the longest, and had also been a witness to most of their friendship. If anyone could shed any light on it, it would be him. “I have a lot on my mind.”

Zay didn’t miss a beat. “Lucas?”

Her head snapped up to look at him. “He told you.”

“Nah. Not really. I think you forget that he and I are a lot like you and Maya. I know when something is bothering him.” He waited a beat as a frown crossed his features. “Although apparently, I’m not as in sync with him as I thought I was.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I only realized what was going on between you guys before we went out tonight.” He slowly lifted his eyes to look at her. He knew that there was only so much he could say to her, but maybe if she talked to him about it, he could fix whatever miscommunication was going on between them. The tension between them had expanded so rapidly over the last few days. He was certain that it was all leading up to some sort of explosion. “What’s going on, Riley?”

“I wish I knew.” She sighed as she sat up. She took deep breath as she pulled the hair tie out of her hair. “When did everything get so complicated Zay?”

He thought about it for a long moment. “I think it got complicated when we realized that some feelings run deeper than those of a normal friendship.”

“I don’t know if I want anything to change,” she confessed as she ran a hand through her tangled locks. Along with everything else, it was something that had been at the forefront of her thought process. She knew that they had been drifting apart, but was she willing to risk losing him completely if it didn’t work out?

“I think things are going to change either way,” he offered. “We’re growing up, Riley. At some point, we need to all move forward…that includes allowing our friendships to evolve. Who knows what’s going to happen a few years from now? You could get a job on the other side of the country while the rest of us are in New York. We could all end up in different cities with different lives. Life is going to happen whether or not you want it to and even if you’re not ready for it.”

He made sense. He made perfect sense, but was she ready to take that chance? “But does it have to change now? What if…what if everything changes and we end up drifting away from one another?”

“Wouldn’t that be better than drifting away without taking a chance?” He paused. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what’s going through his mind right now. I do know that he cares about you. I know that the last thing he would ever do is hurt you.” He wasn’t sure how far things had gotten between them, or even if she had any inkling about how he felt, but she had to know that what he felt was real. She wasn’t some fling. She never was.

“What if it doesn’t work out?” She looked down at her hands. She couldn’t believe she was bearing her soul to Zay at 5:30 in the morning, but she had to verbalize the stream of thoughts that had been flowing through her mind for most of their trip. “I’ve never been in a relationship and he…he’s been in more than I can count.” She leaned forward as she looked him in the eyes. “What if it ends? What then?”

He smiled at her. “But what if it doesn’t end?”

“It’s always ended before,” she reasoned. He always got bored and moved on to someone else after a few months.

“You forget that none of those girls are you.” He tapped his fingers against his leg as he contemplated his next words. Would Lucas murder him for telling her one of his secrets? He might, but what if a slight insight helped her to understand the depth of Lucas’s feelings for her? She deserved to know. “Do you want to know a good Lucas story?”

She chuckled softly. She always loved a good Lucas story. Ever since Zay came into their lives, he always had the best stories about him. She had learned a lot about Lucas’s childhood through Zay over the years. “What is it? Something about your rough and tumble days in Texas?”

Zay shook his head. “Did you know that at the beginning of senior year, Lucas applied to go to Texas A&M?” There. He said it. It was out there in the universe. He had held onto that little secret for a few years now, and while he promised Lucas he wouldn’t tell anyone, he knew that Riley deserved to know.

Riley frowned. “I didn’t know that.” She knew that A&M had always been the place where Lucas wanted to study veterinarian medicine, but when it came time to apply to colleges, he never mentioned to her that he actually applied.

“I figured that you didn’t know,” Zay paused as he watched a barrage of emotions cross Riley’s face. She seemed confused more than anything else, but perhaps, she was also slightly disappointed. Disappointed that he didn’t tell her about it? “He didn’t tell anyone,” he offered.

Her eyes fell to the ground. “He told you.”

“Only because I was there when he got the acceptance letter.” As soon as Zay saw the letter, Lucas swore him to secrecy about the whole thing. Lucas had initially applied just to see if he could get in. Zay knew he was tempted to accept, but he didn’t go. Instead, he chose to stay in New York and attend Columbia.

“He got in?” Of course he would have gotten in. He graduated near the top of their class with several academic and athletic honors. Riley always thought that Lucas could conquer the world if he really wanted to. Farkle may have been the genius in the group, but he wasn’t the only scholar. Lucas had to work hard, but Riley always knew he could do anything he set his mind to.

Zay nodded. “He got a full scholarship too.”

Riley took a deep breath. He had a full ride to a school that had one of the best veterinary programs in the country. “That was his dream school.” She had to ask the most obvious question, but she wasn’t sure if Zay would even know the answer. Still, she had to try. “Why…why did he stay in the city?”

Zay smirked. “I’ve spent the last few years trying to figure it out. It’s the million-dollar question. A full, free ride to his dream school and he turns it down for a partial scholarship to Columbia…which is a great school…but it was never really on his radar.” After the conversation with Lucas earlier, Zay realized that he had finally discovered the answer to the question. Although he didn’t know for sure, it was the only thing that made sense. “Riley…besides Maya…what type of girls has he dated?”

Riley flinched at the question because it seemed like such an odd transition in conversation. What did his preference in women have to do with where he ended up going to college? She shrugged. “Brunettes with brown eyes.”

He nodded. “Exactly.” Everything made sense to him now. It was the only logical explanation that made everything fit. It explained why he couldn’t stay in a relationship for very long and it explained why he decided to stay in the city.

Riley still wasn’t sure what sort of connection Zay was trying to make. Either he was too drunk to make sense or she was too drunk to understand it. “What are you saying?”

“They’re you.” He smirked. “He has a type…and that type is Riley Matthews.” He paused. “It’s taken me almost three years, but I feel like I finally know why he decided to stay in the city.” He tapped his fingers against his leg as he let his words sink in.

After a moment, he slowly stood up. “Anyway, I should probably go to bed and at least get a few hours of sleep in before I have to be on a golf course for most of the afternoon.” He watched as a wave of confusion crashed over her. He knew that he had already said too much, but he also knew that she deserved to know the truth. “Riley, if you care about him even half as much as he cares about you, I know for a fact that you two would be together forever.”

She looked up at him. How could Zay feel so confident in something that she wasn’t even sure she fully understood? “You sure about that?”

“I’d bet on it.”

#ouat2011 fic #**21**#rucas fic #rucas #lucas x riley #riley x lucas #liley fic #rucas fanfic #rucas fan fic #rucas fan fiction #rucas fanfiction #liley fanfic #liley fan fic #liley fan fiction #liley fanfiction #I'm sorry this sucks so so so much #at least the night is over am I right?

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graysonpuzzle · 7 years ago

Text

New Beginnings

Note: So this is something I wrote a long time ago and just edited. There is violence, bad language, mention of death, and some possibly upsetting things. If you choose to read it I hope you enjoy it! I also would really love some feed back! Thanks!

The Puzzle

CHAPTER ONE

__________________________

July 28th, 2000

“YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE YOUNG LADY!” my grandfather yells from the end of the hallway.

“THE HELL I’M STAYING HERE!” I yell, packing my duffel with clothes and some of my favorite items.

I zip up the bag and throw on my brown leather jacket. My grandfather is too controlling, living and hunting wise. I throw the bag over my shoulder and speed walk down the hall. I’m 17 and I’ve been trapped hunting with this old man. Never having a good night sleep, rarely being home, having no friends and god, only ever talking to my grandpa and his creepy friends.

“Grayson Amorita, I’ll be damned if I let you out of my sight, especially after promising your mother and father-”

“Don’t you dare play that card, old man.” By now I can feel my cheeks heating up and my heart pumping faster. “Whenever I do something you don’t like, you bring them into it!”

“Grayson, I’m trying to do what they would have wanted” he says

“Oh yeah, I’m sure they wanted me out risking my life everyday hunting creatures that hide under kids beds!” I argue.

“Grayson I-”

“I’m sick and tired of this life! I want to be normal! For christs sake I’ve never even been to public school! I’ve never had any friends and forbid I even look at a boy!” I shout.

I march straight past him to the door and I swing it open a little too hard.

“Bye grandpa” I say, leaving him speechless and I walk out the front door.

November 2006

“So this is the part where you kill me?” the shapeshifter I’ve been hunting for the past 4 days asks.

“I’m afraid so,” I say. I lift my gun, finger on the trigger when he starts rambling.

“Haven’t you ever felt like a freak? I know I’m a monster in your eyes, but is it so bad that I want to try and be normal?” he asks.

“Well, for starters, normal people don’t shift their appearance and then murder families, ya know, because that’s sick,” I retort.

“Come on, that’s not as bad as what other people do,” he says.

“Well, here’s the thing, you’re not a person,” I say and shoot him, hitting him directly in the heart.

If only my grandpa could see me now, hunting by myself, HA! And he thought I wouldn’t be able to survive on my own. Just because he’s the master vampire slayer he thinks he’s the only one who can handle these supernatural sons of bitches. I mean sure, telling other hunters that I’m Daniel Elkins’ granddaughter does have a few perks, like they almost automatically are willing to help me. But, there’s always the downside. People will expect me to be as great as him. I’m still working on getting out of that shadow.

I pack everything up into the trunk of my giant scrap metal car. I don’t even know what kind of car this is, all I know is I got it from my grandpa’s friend out of his junkyard who said I could have it for free. I drive myself back to the motel I’ve been staying in and immediately throw myself on the bed.

I wake up the next morning with all my clothes on from last night. The clock on the nightstand says 1:00pm, great. I jump into the motel shower and get dressed for the day. I get my computer out and look for any possible hunts near by. One in particular stands out: “Four Teens Found Dead.” I read the whole article and it screams supernatural- vampires to be specific- all the kids were missing most of their blood, enough to kill them slowly. Well, if there’s one thing I know how to hunt, its bloodsuckers. Maybe my grandpa has worn off on me, but I think it might just be in my genes because I’ve loved hunting them since I can remember. Maybe because they’re sneaky bastards who kill people despite being people themselves once. I get my stuff together and drive to the town where the article originated, only a 45 minute drive.

I already have a plan: pretend to be a relative of one of the kids, get into the morgue and see the bodies, go to the scene where they were found, find a trail, follow it and kill the bitches.

I go to the only hospital in town and go straight to the morgue. I stop one of the doctors and give him my excuse.

“Well, I’m her cousin but I won’t be able to make it to the funeral.” I say

“Alright, just follow me, miss,” the doctor says. He takes me to the morgue and pulls out ‘my cousin's’ body.

“Do you mind if I have a moment alone with her?” I ask, faking borderline tears.

“Of course.” and he’s gone. I immediately pull the cover down to reveal her neck and there it is: two puncture wounds. I check the other three bodies and all the signs point to vampires.

I put on the best sad face I can muster up and walk out of the morgue and out of the hospital. I get in my car and the radio is blasting Kelly Clarkson’s Because of You. Not that it’s really a favorite, but I mean how can I not know the words? I sit in my car in the parking lot singing along.

“MY HEART CAN’T POSSIBLY BREAK WHEN IT WASN’T EVEN WHOLE TO START WITH!” I sing at the top of my lungs, well until two handsome fellows knock on my window, both trying to hold back smiles. Shit. Why are two guys knocking on my car in the first place?

I roll my window down and immediately put on a serious face, “can I help you?” I ask as if nothing happened 20 seconds ago.

“Yeah, we were wondering if you know anything about those four teenagers that died last night,” the one with long hair asks.

“No, not more than the news provided” I lie.

“Oh, ok thanks anyways” He says and they both walk into the hospital. Why do they care what happened? Hunters…nah.

I start the engine and make my way to the road the teenagers were found on. When I get there, the cops are blocking it off. ‘Don’t worry, Gray, just get in and get out’ I mentally prepare myself. The roads around here are surrounded by woods, so I adjust my gun in my belt and take off into the woods, far enough so I won’t be spotted, but close enough to see what’s going on. I make my way through to get close enough to the car, all windows are shattered and there’s no other evidence of vampires-at least not from here. I come out of the brush and hide behind the car, away from the cops who are by the caution tape about 20 feet away. I get in the backseat of the car and search for anything, then I spot it, a tooth, or a fang, or whatever the right term for a vampire’s second set of teeth is. I open the car door and dash back into the woods as fast as I can.

So, I don’t think the vampires would’ve followed the road, trying to be sneaky and all, so I double back down the road and go down one that parallels the one the cops are on. I pull over to the shoulder of the road, by some metal railings that block a slope down to the woods. I slide down that slope to find any tracks. I search for almost 30 minutes and find shit. No really, I stepped in deer poop. I decide to go to my car. I get back to the slope and I have to dig the toes of my shoes into the dirt so I can make it back up. As I climb over the railing I notice another set of holes in the dirt similar to mine. So they did go this way. I search the other side and there’s nothing. Guess they did use a road, but why walk through the woods then drive a car after a meal? A getaway plan or something? I get back in my car and get out the map of the town that I got earlier today. If I keep going down this road, it leads to a giant and abandoned farm. I guess I’m going there.

As I start my car, a sleek, black car pulls to the shoulder behind me. Damn. That really is a nice car. Chevelle? I guess I’ll ask when these two guys…these two guys, the same guys who knocked on my window at the hospital. Damn it, maybe the vamps found out I was following them and decided to switch it around. It’s so hard to find attractive guys that don’t have anything severely wrong with them. I get out of my car to meet them outside, gun ready in my belt.

I get out of my car and meet them halfway, and lean on the back of my car, “are you two following me?” I ask.

“No, we were heading this way and saw your car and didn’t know if you were having trouble” the one with short hair says.

“Well as sweet and creepy it is that you ‘happened’ to see me and offer me help, my car is perfectly fine, and no offense but I wouldn’t take car help from two sketchy guys who appear to be stalking me,” I say and rest my hands on my hips, closer to my gun.

“You know what’s funny is that we think you’re the sketchy one here” the tall one argues.

“Alright fine, let’s agree that we’re all sketchy and call it a night, huh?” I say and turn back to my car, then I heard a gun click. I turn back around to them to see both holding guns at me. I immediately pull out my gun and hold it to them in response.

“I didn’t know vampires were into carrying guns, did you Sammy?” the short one asks.

“Wait, what?” I ask, completely confused.

“We went to the hospital, they said a girl with your exact description went into the morgue, and you lied about knowing anything,” the short one explains.

I lower my gun, realizing instantly, “Oh god, I’m such an idiot. I’m a hunter, and apparently so are you two,” I say, “I’m working on the case with the four teenagers.”

They lower their guns as well and put them away. “So what do you have so far?” the short one asks.

“There’s tracks over there, but no sign of them on the other side of the road, so I think they took the road- it leads to a farm that nobody owns,” I say.

“Well, we’re going to look around in case you missed anything,” The short one says.

“Ok, good luck with that, I’ll be killing them while you search” I say.

“What? No, we should do this together, you can’t take out a whole nest by yourself” the big one says.

“I’m going to take your doubt in me as a challenge” I say and walk.

“Are you crazy? You’re going to get yourself killed,” the short one argues.

“If you want me to stay with you, just say so,” I say folding my arms across my chest, looking at them with raised eyebrows and a little smirk.

“Let us look for a few minutes and we can go, together,” the tall one says.

“So, do either of you have names or will I have to call you ‘big one’ and ‘little one’?” I ask sarcastically.

“I’m Sam, and this is my brother, Dean” Sam says.

“Grayson,” I reply.

10 minutes later they come up with nothing.

“I told you,” I tease.

“Are you always this cocky?” Dean asks.

“No, only when people think I can’t do as well as them, and they end up being wrong” I say with a fake grin, referring to them having to ‘check’ if I got everything.

“Well aren’t you sweet,” Dean replies, a fake smile on his face.

“Alright, let’s go” Sam directs and we head towards the farm. There’s barely any light because the sun is setting behind all the trees.

When we get to the farm we all get out and I walk to them, “Maybe we should wait until tomorrow when we have daylight,” I suggest.

“Were already here, were armed, it can’t hurt to check,” Dean says.

“I don’t know Dean, she has a point, they have the advantage,” Sam adds.

“Oh, c’mon, nothing three hunters can’t handle,” Dean says and it’s the last thing I hear before my lights go out.

I wake up on the floor with my hands chained behind my back, in what looks like a basement. Those nasty bloodsuckers. I knew we should’ve waited. Sam and Dean are also chained, but both still out cold. Sam is closest to me so I kick his leg and he stirs a little.

“Sam! Sam wake up!” I whisper yell.

“What-what the”

“They got us while we were distracted,” I say, “But don’t worry, I have a plan.”

“What?”

“Well since were not chained to anything,” I start and feel for my gun-HA they didn’t take it- “I’m going to get up, walk up the stairs to the door and kill all of them, which will give you two some time to find our weapons and free anyone they might be keeping” I say, literally thinking of the plan as it came out of my mouth.

“Maybe Dean was right,” Sam says.

“About what?”

“You being crazy.”

“I’m not crazy, I’m ambitious,” I say and I get a small laugh out of him.

“Well, usually people’s ambitions don’t include risking your life when you don’t know what you’re up against”

“Well, how will I figure out what I’m up against if I don’t go up there and see?” I ask and Dean starts to wake up.

“Oh good, you’re up!” I say and proceed to tell him the plan I told Sam.

“Are you crazy?” He asks, again with the crazy.

“God, why do you both think I’m crazy? Wouldn’t you be willing to do the same thing?”

“Yeah, but going straight at them?” Dean asks.

“Go big or go home, right?” I say.

I stand up and lower my arms so I can step between them to get my hands to the front of my body. I walk up the basement stairs and knock on the door with a happy rhythm. The door opens and a rather small vampire is there giving me a puzzled expression.

“Hi there,” I say and yank him by the shirt, throwing him down the stairs. He fell all the way to the bottom. I shoot him with my gun and he just laughs.

“So stupid, guns dont hurt me!” He laughs.

“Yeah, but I heard dead man’s blood is poison to you, and that’s what I soaked my bullets in this morning.” I say and head back up the stairs.

The door is barely open, I peek through seeing no more vampires. Sam and Dean are coming up the stairs.

“I’ll shoot all of them, don’t move until I say so,” I order.

I walk through the door and I’m immediately tacked to the ground. I fall on my stomach but I manage to get on my back and kick the vampire back and shoot her right in the stomach. “Dead man’s blood,” I say, answering the question before it’s asked. I stand up and another one jumps on my back. I slam her into a wall, leaving a huge dent. I can’t shake her off, so I feel for her stomach and shoot her there. 3 down. No more come at me, so I go get Sam and Dean in the stairwell.

“Sam, go look for any people, Dean, go look for weapons, I can hold off anymore that come, If they follow you, lead them to me,” I direct and they go. It feels nice to have somebody trust me.

They both go the same way, leaving me in the hallway by myself. I look around, and I feel arms wrap around my body, squeezing the air out of me. Two more vampires come at me at once and I flail my legs in attempt to keep them away. I kick both of them in the stomach, sending them back a few feet. I shoot at both, one hit in the chest, the other in the lower stomach. The one holding me doesn’t like this so he throws me to the ground, a mistake on his part, because I shoot him in the chest immediately. 6 down, hopefully not many more to go. I walk around the house, and I get towed down by a big vampire, I look and it’s just Dean.

“Here.” He says and cuts my chains with my machete, then hands it to me.

“thanks” I say, “where’s Sam?”

“Upstairs, looking for anyone”

“What? I haven’t checked upstairs yet!” I say loudly and run up the stairs as fast as I can, with Dean following behind me.

“I think I can get used to hunting with you” I barely hear him say from behind me. Wait, was that a reference to my ass? Did he just compliment my ass in the middle of a hunt? Screw it, I have shit to do.

I run to the first door and kick it open, empty. “SAM!” I yell and kick open two more doors.

He’s kneeling over vampire victims, but he doesn’t know there’s two vampires sneaking behind him. I lunge instantly, cutting of the man’s head, then everyone notices me and I stab the girl in her stomach, surprising her. Using the seconds she took to react, I behead her.

“Thanks,” Sam says.

“No problem, I think that’s all of them,” I say.

“There was 9 of them, I counted,” A woman on the floor says.

“Shit,” I say under my breath.

“What?” Sam asks.

“I missed one,” I say and take off to find Dean.

I don’t have to run far, because he’s being pinned to the wall by a male vampire.

“Aw are you sad were going to kill your family?” I mock and he comes straight at me. He jumps to tackle me, but I duck, letting him fall behind me. I turn around and chop his neck while he’s getting up.

“Thanks,” Dean says.

“Don’t mention it” I say and run down the stairs to finish off the vamps I poisoned. Theres three in the living room, two in the hallway and one in the basement. Just have to kill them while they’re down and you can leave, Grayson.

I get to the living room, and just as I remembered, there’s 3 bodies on the ground. I decapitate every one of them and head to the hallway. The two there are just starting to wake up, but are still weak. One is crawling and I do a low swing of the arm to get her, the other one is laying on his back, as if waiting for me. The only one I’m a little worried about is the one in the basement, he was the first one to get poisoned. I open the door and walk down, he’s nowhere in sight. I hear Sam and Dean in the hallway, “Grayson!” Sam yells, “Are you down there?”

“Yeah, I can’t find the-” I get cut off by the vampire putting me in a chokehold.

“Grayson?” Dean asks, and I hear a set of footsteps coming down the stairs.

“I can still kill her, let us go, and I won’t” He tries to bargain.

“They’re all dead, Elektra over there got every single member of your family,” Dean says, obviously trying to get the vamp to go after him, like I did earlier.

“You killed them?” He growls in my ear, “You killed my family?”

“Let her go,” Sam says, taking a step towards us.

“Don’t move, or I’ll bite her,” He threatens, “I guess that if you killed my family, you can start making up for it by joining me.” He puts his mouth to my neck. I try to wiggle away but he moves my head closer to him. It’s like in Charlie’s Angels when Madison Lee was almost kissing Natalie while putting a gun to her head, in other words, disgusting.

Dean tries to move closer and the vampire freaks out. “PUT THE BLADES DOWN!” he yells, “AND SLIDE THEM OVER HERE” at first Sam and Dean refuse but then I get an idea. I nod, telling them to agree with him. They slide the machetes to our feet and step back.

I take the machete that’s in my hand, and stab him in the stomach and reach down for Sam and Dean’s, picking one up in each hand. The vamp comes at me and I swing the machetes towards each other, cutting his neck from both sides fatally.

“Damn.” Dean says. I turn around and give each of them their machetes back with a huff of breath from the struggle.

“Where are the people?” I ask.

“I told them to wait outside by the cars,” Sam says.

We got the people to the hospital and made sure they didn’t mention us. One thing I never liked about this job, you rarely get credit. It’s 1 am when we drive to the nearest motel. I get out of my car, and they get out of theirs at the same time.

“Nice car, by the way,” I say and head to the office to buy a room.

“Thanks, she’s my pride and joy,” Dean says”

I get to the desk and ask for a one bedded room. She hands me the key and walk out the door and hear Sam and Dean asking for the closest two bedded room next to mine.

I unlock my door and go straight to the shower. I can smell my own sweat. I get out and go to my bag on the bed to look for clothes when there’s a knock at my door. Perfect timing, what if I have to fight some monster naked? I open the door to see Sam and Dean waiting.

“Uh, can I help you?” I ask as both of them try to pretend I’m not in only a towel.

“We just thought you might want to celebrate with us,” Dean says, holding up a pack of beer.

“Well, I don’t feel like drinking, but I’ll be happy to watch you two” I say “Just give me 5 to get dressed and I’ll be right over.” I close my door and get dressed. I knock on the door and Sam answers, his arm gesturing for me to come in.

“So do you two celebrate after every hunt?” I ask.

“No, just the good ones.” Sam says.

“I see.”

“So,” Dean says.

“So, what?” I ask.

“How’d you learn to hunt like that?” He asks.

“I learned from my grandpa,” I say.

“Whos your grandpa?” Sam asks.

“You might not have heard of him, Daniel Elkins, he lives in Colorado,” I say and their faces kind of fall. “What? did I say something?”

“We knew your grandpa” Dean says, “well we knew who he was, we’re sorry”

“Sorry for what? I’m confused,” I say. What the hell is up with them?

“When was the last time you heard anything from your grandpa?” Sam asks.

“I talked to him a few months ago on the phone,” I say.

They exchange a glance.

“We were in Manning a month ago, your grandpa was in the news, he was attacked in his house and was killed,” Sam says, “I’m so sorry”

I sit there in silence, thinking about it. What? there’s no way, he knew how to defend himself. This is just a sick joke. Just a sick joke.

“Grayson?” Dean asks.

“You think thats funny?”

“What?”

“Telling me he’s dead, you think thats funny, cause its not,” I say.

“Were not joking, he was killed by vampires,” Sam says.

How ironic, the thing he hunted best came to hunt him. “Excuse me, I need to go,” I say and walk out the door. It usually takes a while for things to sink in. When a hunt went wrong and one of my friends died, it took me a while to actually process it. How could he do that? He didn’t even call me. He didn’t call for help. I could’ve helped him.

I could’ve helped him. I could’ve been there. I could’ve kept him alive. I turn out the lights and fall asleep.

In my nightmare my grandpa keeps dying in front of me, a different way each time. Stabbed in the chest, shot in the head, each time screaming for my help, but I just sit there and watch. In some I’m even the one doing the killing. I try to stop myself, but I can’t move my body and all I can do is yell “I’M SORRY” millions of times. I scream myself awake and I feel the need to let off steam.

I throw all my stuff against the walls, break anything that I can. “I’M SORRY” I yell, throwing the lamp on the nightstand at the wall. I barely notice it, but I’m crying while screaming. I step on some of the glass from the lamp, and my foot bleeds out. I get on my knees and just cry to myself, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” There’s a knock on my door, but I ignore it, still repeating the same words over and over again. I lay my hands on the ground, which cuts them too, so now my hands are also bleeding. I just look at my hands for a while. “Im sorry, Im sorry for everything” My door is slammed open and the water in my eyes makes everything blurry, but I can make out the figures of two people. They pull me out of the glass and put me on the bed. ” I didn’t mean to do it!” I say, “It should’ve been me!”

“GRAYSON, SNAP OUT OF IT!” I recognize Dean yelling.

“He shouldn’t have died, it should’ve been me, I’m the one that left him alone!” I cry.

“It’s not your fault, things happen,” Sam says and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“Get off me!” I yell, “I don’t need your help, I never needed help, I should’ve been helping him!”

“Just calm down!” Dean yells.

“HOW ABOUT HAVING YOUR ONLY FAMILY DIE AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL!!” I scream.

“I DID!” he screams back.

“BUT YOU’RE NOT THE ONE THAT KILLED HIM!”

“HEY!” Sam shouts, “both of you yelling won’t help anyone.”

“I could’ve saved him” I whisper, “I left him alone, he needed me and I left him”

The next morning I wake up in a bed, it’s not mine because the room has two beds in it. The last thing I remember from last night was yelling at Sam and Dean. I look at my hands and they’re wrapped up, I move the covers to look at my feet and they’re wrapped up too. They’re worse than I remember them being, there’s blood soaking through the wraps.

“You wouldn’t let us stitch you up last night, so we just wrapped them up for the night” Sam says, walking in from the bathroom.

“Sorry” I say.

“Please, don’t say that, you’ve said it enough since last night,” he replies.

I look down at my hands in my lap. I let myself get out of control, and hurt myself, I don’t even know what I did to the boys.

“Did I hurt either of you?” I ask.

“No,” Dean answers, walking through the room door with bags of food in his hands, “Thank god, because after seeing you kill that nest, I was glad you kept the machete in the car.”

“Yeah…"

“I got you a burger” he says and tosses is to me. My hands sting a little and catching it burns even more.

“Dean, last night I told you to have your only family die, and you said you did, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” I start.

“Our dad. He almost a month after your grandpa died,” he says, his tone kind of irritated.

“I’m so sorry.”

“We should stitch you up now, the cuts are pretty bad,” Sam interrupts.

“Alright.”

We all sit in silence as Sam works on my hands. How the hell am I going to hunt if both my hands and feet have stitches. Sam finishes my hands and I ask for the supplies to stitch my feet but he refuses and stitches those up too.

“Thank you” I say, “well I guess I should get going”

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” Sam asks.

“No, but I want to go back to Manning, just see the house and everything” I answer.

“Want us to give you a ride there?” Dean asks.

“No, I’m fine” I say and get up, “where’s my stuff?”

“Over there” Dean says and points to the table across the room. I sling it over my shoulder and take it to the bathroom to get dressed.

Trying to get dressed was difficult, but I managed to do it in 10 minutes. I walked back into the room, “Well, bye guys” I say.

“Hey, what’s your number?” Sam asks.

“Why, think you’re going to need my help sometime?” I joke.

“Something like that” Dean replies, smirking. I give them my number and head for Manning.

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