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farfromsugafanfic · 6 years ago

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guksthighs Interview

I, the interviewer, typically don’t interrupt at the beginning of the interview, but Jess is legit one of my favorite fan fiction writers of all time and I’m so honored that she took the time to speak with me. Anyway, onto the interview!

First off, can you start off by introducing yourself (whatever name you feel comfortable using) and telling us a little bit about yourself?

I’m Jess, an eighteen year old writer from the UK! I’ve been writing for BTS for a year and a half but supported them since the Boy in Luv era! I stan all seven boys ( but lean towards my angel child Kim Namjoon ) and when I’m not writing or doing schoolwork I’m usually doing some sort of sports! Also I just wanted to say thank you so much for asking to interview me, it is only such an honour that I’d make the cut!

Q1: Why did you first begin writing fan fiction? A1: I’ve always loved writing and the easiest way to share it and get people to read your work is to write for a fandom - well that was my ideology in the beginning. In reality, what’s kept me writing are the messages I receive every now and then ( from people like you ) that make me feel like the luckiest person ever and like I’m doing a decent job at writing!

Q2: You mainly write imagines/ preferences, but you do have a few series and longer pieces on your page. Do you prefer to write in shorter forms? A2: When I first started out writing, rather embarrassingly, my aim was to grow a following on Tumblr so I posted daily for the first few months and because shorter forms are faster to write I was able to continue that and now I am able to balance my life and writing easier. I’d love to write longer pieces but I’d prefer to publish a smaller piece weekly than work on a huge project!

I also have a lot of started and unfinished pieces which is more of a reflection of me - I’ve always had a huge imagination and am always planning the next idea but I do intend to start posting longer pieces soon! Q3: Have you written fan fiction for other fandoms? And/or before starting your current account? A3: I have! My first ever fan fiction was One Direction ( it’s deleted now - thank god - and on looking back I’m ashamed to say I used a plot for original characters to try and garner more reads - it worked ). I have a wattpad account ( jeonsthighs ) where I’ve completed a 50 chapter Haikyuu piece called An Angel’s Wings. Last I checked it had 125,000 reads and in summary is about a deaf volleyball player who overcomes her self taught ideology that relying on others makes you weak. I’ve also written for other anime fandoms; Fairy Tail and Kuroko No Basket, so I guess you could call me versatile ~ Q4: Do you write anything outside the realm of fan fiction? A4: I write columns for my school newspaper and have the honour of having written an article that has been used in a newspaper!

I used to write stories in school on scrap pieces of paper that would be passed around the class as I wrote them which encouraged me to share it online to try and spread more happiness!

These days I tend not to write any fiction outside of fan fiction due to the amount of work I have but I’m hoping after my exams I’ll be able to juggle my account and work on some ideas I’ve had for a while! Q5: Were you scared to begin posting your work online? A5: Surprisingly no! I’ve always written as a form of stress relief and mindfulness as I’m able to channel any negative emotions into words. So I wasn’t too worried about no one noticing me and am still surprised at the size my account has grown to. The only thing that scares me these days is someone I know finding my account and confronting me about *some* of the more mature content I’ve posted. Q6: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Yourself? A6: Fan fiction has taught me not to hide away from myself and all of my emotions and thoughts which means I’ve been able to deal with my depression and anxiety in a way I wouldn’t have done before. Often I write characteristics that reflect myself, often without meaning to and upon looking back on my work I notice the resemblance. Writing has been the best and most helpful form of mindfulness and by participating in publishing Fan fiction I am able to connect with others! ( Even if it has given me unrealistic expectations for dating TT )

Q7: What’s your favorite piece you’ve ever written? A7: I’ve thought about this question a lot and come to the cheesiest conclusion ever, even so I stand by it. Every work I publish is my favourite, they all reflect different parts of myself and have different journeys and memories to me and others. I do however have a special place for Golden Boy, a Park Jimin piece because it was my first ever embarking on a journey to write 10,000 words. Q8: Do you notice any stigma surrounding fan fiction or fan fiction writers? A8: That we’re crazed fans or disgusting. I feel authors are criticised for using real people in their work - which was the scariest thing for me as I was moving from the realm of anime and literal characters to writing about real living and breathing humans. However, I use the boys as characters for my writing, I am aware that everything I do is imaginary and do not think it’s likely to come true ( which is one of the reasons I prefer writing crazy alternate universes over more realistic pieces ) Another top stigma is that fan fiction writers are not talented which is rather hurtful. Oh! Also that we’re all perverts and write fifty shades of grey style pieces ( I know there are accounts out there that are nothing like that ... just maybe not mine aha )

Q9: If so, how do you feel about this stigma?

A9: It doesn’t bother me particularly, instead of going on long winded rants that will be skipped by people who believe these I try and be active in changing that stigma ( apart from the smut cus a girls gotta sin ). I’ve started my author recommendations list to support smaller accounts who are just starting up which has had an amazing reception and results!

Q10: What’s something you’ve never been asked but want to be?

A10: Favourite book? Q11: Is Tumblr the site you prefer to post fan fic on? If so, why?

A11: Tumblr is my preferred site - to an extent. It is amazing for creating and talking to the blog family, as well as making friends. However, as I said earlier I’ve been in this fandom a long time and the recent surge of new fans has resulted in more arguments and fights that I don’t like seeing.

Q12: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day? A12: Yes! I’m hopefully going to university next year to study English Literature and hope to either go into journalism or publishing/editing. I’d love to be a published author but I’m happy to support others in accomplishing their dreams!

Thank you so much for interviewing me and letting me share my thoughts and journey as a BTS fan fiction writer! It’s an honour to be someone you wanted to interview and throughout the process you’ve been so kind ! I really would encourage everyone to try writing, whether it’s poetry, short drabbles or even thousands of words long chaptered pieces because you never know what your mind and imagination are capable of until you push them! Thank you again and happy reading!

Check out Jess’ amazing imagines and fan fiction on her Tumblr page guksthighs and on her Wattpad jeonsthighs! Once again, thank you, Jess!

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kemeticcalloutsfromthepublic · 6 years ago

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We’d like to begin addressing this thread:

here

We apologize for this post being so long but there is just...so much here.

@thetwistedrope response:

“ Anonymous When your "joking with friends" ends with a transwoman in pain and bullied and in tears, an abuse victim having massive anxiety attacks, and another innocent commentator being *bullied into deleting their blgo and then gaslight off the server as a scapegoat, it's gone too far. Honestly, it would have been better if you and your friends realized you guys went way too far and stopped trying to double down and just admit you went too far and made amends.

None of you can read for shit, I s2g. The screencap of me being “envious” is a completely separate conversation. “

We would like to address that the Anon seems to be referring to a litany of events rather then listing them in chronological order. We’d like to add that they are making a good point, but would have benefited their position by being chronological.

We‘d like to point out Devo begins with an insult, ironically she and her friends are the ones who have reading issues. We’d like to mention that the anon is entirely correct. The events are going to far.

“My part in the situation with Princess Triangle was not bullying. Full stop. “

We’d like to point out that telling a transwoman her fears are “unrealistic”, and she is making excuses, is wrong, but in this mod’s opinion, borders on bullying, and is in fact transphobic. You told a transwoman her fears aren’t real so she has no excuse to not out herself, stand up and be put in a position of danger as she felt she was in.

“I never told PT to out themself. I mean, they already said that they were out as a trans woman, so how tf you can make someone who is already out, out themself again is a complete mystery to me. “

We’d like to mention, you were among the people telling her to sacrifice her support systems to stand up and “rock the boat” (as she put it). Something she was terrified of and didn’t want to be the only person standing up and end up the object of ridicule. Princess Triangle’s position was one of fear of being left alone and the possibility of being ousted, not from “”comfort”” but from a place she felt she was accepted in and she didn’t want to risk that for a fight not really hers. We’d like to remind you, Devo and her friends, alleviated her of that fear by making it a reality. For the record “PT” said she was visibly trans. Princess Triangle stated they felt like they wouldn’t be safe and they would compromise what safety they had in the group. We’d like to state that whether or not the group would have become hostile is irrelevant to the point that she felt like her life was in danger, and Devo and co. told her to risk it anyways. To her present mind, Pricness Triangle made it clear she feared reprisals, she feared danger, she lived in that fear, irregardless of validity, so for her, it was real, and she was still being told to sacrifice herself. To those reading, this should be taken seriously, it is this mods opinion, her following statements and thoughts were in line with this thinking and fear.

“Repeat: All you fuckers are reading inaccurate, edited screen caps in regards to the PT incident. “

We’d like you to prove that the 200+ screengrabs are “edited” and “faked” since you want to now conveniently claim it. We’d also like to mention that Devo’s friends have tried four different defenses to try and escape responsibility and accountability for what they did. We’d like to discount this baseless claim. They are quite genuine. We’d like to add Devo just doesn’t want to admit her own words are against her own defense of innocence. The screencaps are accurate, and speak for themselves. The reality is not pretty.

You have had plenty of time to post the “correct” screencaps. If these were truly wrong, why haven’t you? (oh yes, of course, smarmy did and they were the same ones we had posted) Of course, Smarmy using them to refute things probably doesn’t help your case.

“And I’m sorry, but shezep acting like it was okay to state, quite literally, that we were calling PT a nazi is, frankly, asinine and too far.“

We bring you back to reading comprehension. We’d like to correct Devo’s staggering inability to read, out of convenience, again, Shezep said you and your friends liken everyone who fails to follow your empty moral leftist platitudes are labeled something horrible like a nazis. Shezep was making a comment about how toxic the left-wing is, how someone must be an evil person because they do not conform to your left-wing ideals. A point they are absolutely correct on. We’d like to state that Shezep did not deserve to be shouted down, shit-talked and ridiculed when they left. Isn’t Shezep trans also? We do believe that is two transpeople Devo and co. have bullied, not a very good look for those who ‘champion the downtrodden, discriminated, and totally support LGBTQ+ people...as long as they obey and repeat the correct thoughts and opinions.

“Again, I wouldn’t have handled it that way, but it’s not my server. I’m sorry (except I’m not), but I have no remorse for calling PT out on their complacency. “

We’d like to express our surprise that “feeling unsafe and like my life is in danger” is now “complacency”. Transpeople need support, they need their support systems, and as Shezep correctly states here, trans people are subject to discrimination. Princess Triangle was unwilling to be put in a position to be discriminated against and you weren’t pleased. We’d like to express our utter shock that her status as a transperson, something the social justice kemetics have stated before is very important (‘listen to transpeople when they tell you their experience because they know it better then you do.’ we paraphrased) An important point Devo and co. conveniently abandon when a transperson doesn’t agree with them.

“Us white folks who are able to stand up should stand up.“

We’d like to ask, are you then saying that you did tell PT to out themselves and be put in danger?

“It hasn’t stopped any of you for coming after me because y’all think I’m not doing enough. Does that make you all transphobic? “

Considering we are correct and haven’t expressed positions such as “listen to trans and poc people when they tell you about their experiences, don’t argue with them, just agree”, toting it as extremely important...No. We are calling out your hypocrisy, when you violate the important positions and moral tenets you espouse to being of import, only to throw them aside like used tissues when they no longer serve you because you can’t use it to brow-beat someone else. We’d like to remind you, you have no place telling a transwoman to expose herself to discrimination and danger to serve your crusade.

“Maybe you should look in the mirror before you toss more bricks at my head. “

We would, but the ample heaps of hypocritical trash you and friends hurl into the mirror, seem to have broken it.

“You can get as mad as you want about how other people talked to PT. Some people went a bit far, yes.“

We must express our utter shock at this statement. Maybe instead of trying to sweep your wrong-doing under the rug you should call ourselves out and lecture each other over why what you did was wrong instead of inventing hollow defenses to try and deflect blame. We’d like to state we are just holding you to your own moral standards you and your friends constantly spew. You seem to not meet the requirements you have set. We’d suggest you stop defending yourselves and stop the mental gymnastics.

“But at the end of the day, you can’t keep acting as if I can magically control what everyone else does or says. “

We’d like to say, no, but they do listen to you and respect your opinion and would fall back and lay off if you told them to.

“And you shouldn’t keep acting like me telling a white trans woman to consider standing up and pushing back in places where its safe to do so is somehow transphobic.“

We’d like to remind you, you participated in beating down a transwoman, told her, her fears aren’t realistic and don’t really matter. She expressed she didn’t feel safe and that really should have ended the discussion right there. You went too far, you know you went to far and you got caught.

“And if it is, you all owe many of us an apology for doing the same goddamn thing to us. I can’t tell you how many times ppl get mad because I’m not out there “fighting the good fight” enough. trans status be damned. “

Considering you tell everyone else they have NO EXCUSE not to ever go out and “fight the good fight”, you’re a hypocrite. You don’t go out and fight the good fight, what gives you the right to demand others do the same when you refuse to?

“Esp because you’re reading edited screencaps. “

We’d like to ask...Does it comfort you to pretend the screengrabs are faked and edited? They are, as we stated, legitimate. Claiming over and over they are edited and fake does not change the reality that they aren’t. You look like a massive transphobic hypocrite. And you are, the only shame here should be yours. We would also like to ask, what proof do you have the images were altered? There is over 200 of them and that is a staggering amount of evidence to edit.

We would address smarmy’s contribution to the post but we will leave that for our cohort if they desire. This mod sees nothing of substance in the addition that merits response.

We will move on to @heofspeckledplumage contribution.

“I remind everyone that the screenshots posted by Kemetic callouts from the public are being posted by two mods with a well-documented dislike of both Smarm and Devo. Honestly, that seems to be the main point of the blog is to throw accusations at Smarm and Devo until something sticks. “

We’d like to congratulate you on your own inability to read. For the record, they all stick. Have you even read our mission statement? Your shimmering ignorance astounds us, it’s right there on the blog, it requires minimum effort to look, but that is probably too much for you to muster. To alleviate your smooth lobes of the strain, we’ve linked it for you, here. We do hope you will be able to understand all the confusing words.

“KCFTP is not a neutral, bias-free entity. They have everything to gain and little to lose by framing the situation on the server as they prefer and by editing screenshots because they post under pseudonyms. There is no connection that anyone is able to draw between them posting there and their Tumblr accounts, and thus no accountability for anything they see on the KCFTP blog. “

We’d like to address that we aren’t, our “bias” is calling out what we see as wrong. Your friends are very loud, and they say alot of stupid things we need to address and dismantle. We have alot to do, and they are the ones who say the most hypocritical and rather foolish sentiments, so we call it out. We’d like to mention the KC blog is anything but impartial and is also run by the same loudmouthed jesters.

We’d like to mention, why should we be held accountable when none of you are either? You don’t police each other when you’re out of line, so it is rather hypocritical of you to pull the victim card and pretend you are sunshine and gumdrops. The point of this blog is to correct the community the social justice kemetics have ravaged and pillaged to the point that it has become a toxic and horrible place. We’d like to point out people leave the community because of the social justice kemetics and not the others you scapegoat.

“It takes about two seconds of thinking before one realizes that this is so they can stir the pot and say whatever baseless things they wish to and enjoy zero repercussions on their main blogs. “

We must say that is beautiful sophistry. We are astounded you are a mind reader and can accurately report on our thoughts and feelings, what an amazing power.

We’d like to state nothing we’ve said is baseless, the proof is there, it’s easy to spot, but continue to shove your head in your ass and pretend it’s a dream. We’d like to state, we never see you address your friends wrong-doing, you never step up and tell them when they go too far. We have to guess you feel they are in the right. Bullying transpeople, scapegoating someone at random on the server to blame for the screengrabs, labeling everyone a bigot and racist when they disagree, sending suicide anons to people. You must be complicit in such thinking that these things are ok.

“They are cowards and everything they say should be viewed through the lens of people who will stop at nothing to twist words to their own advantage. “

We’d like to say, you are confused again. We understand the kool-aid is very disorienting, let us clarify: We don’t need to twist anything, that would be you and your friends. Stop yelling at the strawmen, you’re scaring them.

The advantage is already ours because we don’t lie, we tell you the naked truth and why we disagree with your positions, opinions, and how your bullying isn’t just.

With the number of times you and your comrades have twisted other peoples words to your advantage--to the point where you have created entirely false statements, it is the height of arrogance and hypocrisy to accuse us of doing the same. At least we use your own words against you, instead of lies we made up.

“Stop hounding Devo and Smarm. You all need some hobbies. For all some of you talk about piety to the gods you could surely add some shrine time if you did that instead of trying to make Smarm and Devo responsible for everything the Kemetic community does.Quite frankly, y'all need to stop.“

We find this statement hilarious. We have ample hobbies and shrine time, thank you for your concern. The ones who need to stop are”y’all” not us. “Y’all” have chased so many good people out of this community and made it so unsafe this blog became necessary to try and stem the tide of toxic waste you all vomit into the community. We must say, for all the moral tantrums and hollow posturing you and your friends do, you do little else for this community. All you people do is demand everyone be a far leftist, if they don’t you all squeal “BIGOT!!!” like a paniced pig. You preach morality and commit nothing towards it but armchair activism of the vapidly myopic kind. We’re sick of it.

You are quite right, Devo and smarm are responsible...They caused the rifts in the community. They chased people away. They began the drama with their social justice crusades and demands of kow towing to the groupthink. They turned the community into an unwelcoming place. And you helped them.

What was that you said earlier about accountability? You seem to be ok with dismissing any and all accountability when addressed to Devo and smarm, but you want us to be accountable. How hypocritical of you. Clearly you need to spend more time in shrine contemplating Ma’at and treating people well, but wait, none of you really do that do you. We’d like to tell you to close your mouth and try to really take a hard look at your friends antics.

The hostility they have reduced the community to.

We’d like you to spend less time being an apologist for these abusive schoolyard bullies, and more time seriously considering Ma’at.

You all act like moralizing puritanical inquisitors hunting for heretics to crucify, and that’s exactly what you do.

You vilify good people who love the gods, and when an actual racist bigot sauntered into our community...you were all pretty quiet. We found that very interesting.

For all the posts and comments declaring how you loathe nazis and bigots and racists, when a real one showed up you lot barely spoke on it other then “just block kay?”

Then you continue on demeaning and denigrating everyone but them.

You’re a hypocrite and nothing any of you say should ever be listened to.

The evidence piles up, speckled, and your friends weigh heavy on that scale against them. Before you spread more lies about us (which is against ma’at we believe), sit down and consider if all the people chased away, all the people bullied out of the community, inventing fake racist gods to worship, claiming the Netjeru aren’t really that important to the religion, seeking to escape repercussions by spreading lies, brow-beating people down, corrupting others, and harassing others until they delete their blogs, consider if their actions...are just. We did, and we viewed it is not so. So sit. The. FUCK. Down!

We care about this religion, this community and we’ve seen the diarrhea you and your friends have excreted on it, turning it into a hostile and unfriendly place.

We are here to make sure, you are all held accountable. You’re welcome.

--Memphis and Cairo

#transphobia #kemetic fandom #kemetic community #kemeticism #kemetic #community policing

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joh-gaming · 7 years ago

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Why is this affecting me so much?

This is probably going to be an incredibly long post, one that I don’t expect many would read but that I feel I have to write. If not for Epic to read it at some point, then for myself, to remember this and why this game was so important.

I will have a lot of personal opinions, unfair comparisons and highly critical comments in those comparisons that may or may not be accurate. There will also be speculation as there’s more going on than what they’ve been willing to say.

If you care, then please, click on Keep Reading to continue.

How did I learn about it?

Honestly, I have no idea and that’s an issue that lead to its current situation. This is what I remember hearing back then. Paragon is a new game by Epic Games, creators of the Gears of War series (which I’m not really a fan of) and the Unreal Engine (which has always fascinated me) It was going to be a MOBA (which I hate, don’t like any MOBAs except Paragon but I’m getting ahead of myself here)

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Clearly the above isn’t enough to get me to try it, on the contrary. So what was it, I must have seen something that made me think, this is worth a try. As great as that announce trailer was, none of the heroes in it speak to me, not even Sparrow whom ended up as my first mastered character and the one I own the most skins for. It wasn’t a gameranx before you buy thing which to this day I haven’t seen nor plan to, nor Angry Joe’s first look which again, I have no interest in watching. I’m not being critical of those channels, it’s just that I already experienced the game, most if not all of its iterations, so I really don’t care what they had to say about it.

Well... funny enough it was Overwatch the reason I gave Paragon a try. While Paragon is relatively older than Overwatch, it was in closed beta for the first few months. After trying, and falling in love with Overwatch’s beta, I felt the need to fill that void but with another, hopefully similar game. Then I saw the announcement of Paragon’s own free open beta weekend

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I don’t remember if I took part on it or not, the next thing I wrote of Paragon after that was Digital Foundry’s graphic comparison of the game on PC and PS4 vanilla (at the time, the only PS4 there was) praising how a console game let you use mouse and keyboard.

Now, going back to Overwatch for a second, there are a few things you should know. 1. I have a friend that is part of the Overwatch team 2. I bought the game myself, no free keys and it was the PS4 version 3. I didn’t have enough money to buy it at launch, I ended up buying it late June or mid July, can’t remember and it’s not THAT important right now. 4. I tend to prefer cartoon like graphics as they are pretty much timeless

With that being said, this was my first impressions on Paragon, having tasted Overwatch.

“I feel really bad for the artists working on Paragon. Clearly a lot of effort was put into the design and modeling of the characters but good God they're so damn boring. The maps are also bleh with a palette that doesn't help things at all. Animations feel like over a decade old with awkward jump and run. I will be surprised if this game is actually successful 'cause it's a MOBA and what's the most important part of a MOBA? The damn heroes.“

I’ve been wrong before, but this is probably the top one. The map in question is what we now call Legacy. After spending a long time in super colorful maps in Overwatch, I found myself in this semi realistic map with ruins and a jungle that looked old and boring. Movement was too slow and I’m not sure what I was talking about with the animations, maybe they were bugged at the time ‘cause Paragon’s animations are impressive. Some of the best work in gaming.

Needless to say, I had a rocky start with Paragon, mostly because I didn’t understand it. I don’t know how long I tried it before I deleted it but that’s what I ended up doing. I got frustrated and instead of doing research I just quit.

So, going back to Overwatch for another second, how long was my honeymoon after I bought it? It lasted for about a month, after that I started seeing all the issues the game had and has (most of them are still there) especially on consoles. Broken heroes, Play of the game that encourages nonsense, the “scoreboard” that highlights the wrong things, lack of content, lack of heroes, easily exploitable on certain maps, etc. So I guess, thanks to Overwatch, not only did I dare to try Paragon, but fell in love with it. (btw, I did check, bought Overwatch mid June and by mid July I was sick of it, only made worse in August trying to get the limited time skins I wanted) And that’s not even talking about how Overwatch popularized Loot Boxes (yes, they have existed for a long long time, they just made it seem OK in a full priced game, ‘cause it was $60 on console)

Now, I couldn’t find this anywhere but I remember I returned to Paragon when Lt. Belica was announced. Gave it another go but again, failed to understand the character and gameplay. I will get more into the true problem for new people later on, but for now let’s go with why did I delete the game a second time. Well, it wasn’t out of frustration this time, rather than HDD space on my PS4. At the time it didn’t support external HDD. When did I return in a more permanent manner? When Countess came out.

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She became my main for a while, which is funny ‘cause part of her kit was taken from the hero that would completely grab me forever. I started understanding the design decisions of the characters and the graphics, I got past the part where they wouldn’t last a few years, I was wrong about that too. I think they found the right balance between realistic and somewhat cartoonish to make the graphics last. That and they weren’t shy on retouching characters later on.

On November 2016 I said this

“Now I have a better understanding of the game, mind you that if I were to read about it I MAY learn it faster, but I prefer to learn from my own mistakes rather than trying to play like someone else that is probably more skilled. I can accomplish a similar standard just playing with things that work for me rather than what is "optimal". Or that word that gets on my nerves, the META. Fucking meta...”

Funny, I still agree on that.

Paragon growing on me

I’m going to quote myself again, but I’m going to edit said quote for context purposes, not trying to say something different than I said before. For instance, the post was made with a video that I won’t include here, so anything mentioning the video is out of context.

“The more I play Paragon, the more I like it, but at the same time the more I notice its problems. Paragon currently has 24 heroes with a new one added every 3 weeks. Only has one map and one game mode, but it's free and high quality so no complaints here. However if you're like me, you tend to pick certain characters based mostly on looks not on play style. This is one of the biggest issues in Paragon and even Smite for that matter. The character design in Paragon is on point but at the same time it’s dull and boring.

You have your human characters, your robots and your beasts. They decided to go with a semi realistic look for the game instead of doing the cartoon like design from popular and unpopular MOBAs. Which is fine I guess, you want to differentiate yourself, especially when now everyone that does it is instantly going with "an Overwatch look". On PS4 they had to lower the graphics quite a bit.

Paragon has a hero limit since launch and you can't switch heroes of course. The character selection process is completely random (I was the first to pick this time by pure luck) there are no rules for this other than what common courtesy SHOULD dictate. Personally, even if I get to pick first, let's say if the third player selects Countess before I do, I consider that a priority so I leave Countess open for him. You should learn how to play at least 4 characters. Game actually wants you to learn five characters, that's why you get 5 deck slots by default.

I prefer to play Countess, but I'm better with Sparrow and already have experience with Belica. That being said, the whole mastery system induces people to rage quit when the character they wanted gets picked by someone else. It starts off fine, but eventually leveling up your character becomes a chore and a grind.”

This was still back in November 2016.

On December 2016, I had this to say about the game

“There were a few things keeping the game from being as good as it could be. One of them being the learning curve. This wasn't your go in spray and pray your way to victory while you press a button to get a highlight at the end of the match to feel great about your awesomeness. No, in Paragon you needed to learn a lot about the mechanics, you had to build your character from scratch, and you had to find a way to balance your build to be ready for what's to come. It was amazingly refreshing to be honest. Sure it took me some time to like it, mostly 'cause I still feel the graphics aren't what they should be and the characters, while having an interesting design, they lack a palette that makes them unique.”

“This past Tuesday, Epic Games decided to upload Monolith. Basically Paragon is now a whole different game. Taking into account player feedback, mostly for how slow the game was, they applied a lot of changes to the mechanics of the game. Some of the changes would have been enough in the Legacy map to make the game nearly perfect, but no. Monolith is a smaller map than Legacy, character speed is improved but then it creates other issues when you fight other heroes. Certain classes are now having a tougher time. You gain less card power, forcing you to stay on the map longer rather than going back to base to level up. That in theory would be great if you weren't so fucking weak for half of the game. So what are people doing to combat this? They basically have the same builds. Build for attack speed and power, then some life steal and you're good to go. It's boring now, it's more like a shooter. “

I ended up that paragraph with something I regret and therefore won’t repeat. Even if it didn’t happen... I didn’t uninstall the game and have no plans to do so. Not even after it’s gone (unless it keeps affecting my health, more on that later)

“The simplification of Paragon, as a whole, made it more accessible to regular players, you know your regular multiplayer bro. So it's kind of funny to see the rage quitters because the early game is so painfully slow (in terms of levels) and how easy it is to die when you don't understand how minions and towers work. They changed more things in Paragon than what Massive changed in The Division. Paragon is like a different game, one that doesn't require you to be as smart as before. You now stack attack and go play. That's why I'm a little disappointed with the update. Thankfully they are listening to the feedback so perhaps they can find a middle ground between this version and the previous one, because both have great ideas, they just need to remove the bad ones. A match in Paragon is still more fun than a match in Overwatch though.”

2017, a roller coaster of emotions

Last year alone Paragon went through at least 3 big changes. Many think these changes lead to its current downfall but I don’t agree. In a community corner video (I may edit this if I find it again) they said (a bit arrogantly I may add) that Legacy won’t ever come back. Keep in mind that while at first I was one of those that felt betrayed by the changes Monolith brought to the game, I was still playing and having fun. Originally the thought was, “we don’t want to split the community” and at the time I agreed. But looking back I failed to see the same thing they missed, the community was already divided. Bringing Legacy as a mode, or a more strategic version while Monolith would be more fast paced wouldn’t be bad.

Look at Smite and Overwatch, both games that wouldn’t want to have a split community, now their games have plenty of modes. Keeps players in because if they tire of one thing they could test another ‘cause at the end of the day, it’s the heroes that will keep you coming back. So it wasn’t the changes, more like a pinch of arrogance and a lack of modes. The player retention they later complained about, was of two folds, lack of ranked mode and a poor tutorial.

What made Paragon different and special, besides the heroes I will come to love even more than those in other games, was the card system. You’ll find videos from ‘tubers that are now jumping to conclusions just to talk about the closure of a game they never even heard of. You’ll hear them say something about it being pay to win with buying cards and what not, which funny enough was true in 2016, nobody said anything about it then, but all of that was removed when they added the card crafting system so long ago that I don’t even remember when that was implemented.

Building a deck was crucial to success in Paragon, just as much as understanding minions, towers, your role, buffs, rotations and kills. For most of the 2 years, the jungle was crucial too, that was changed in one of the latest patches. Some say for the worse, I’m not too sure it was. If it was simplification they were after, then the current jungle makes the jungler job easier to understand. Farm, get some levels and skills, then go help the lanes. True that had it been a mode in Monolith with Legacy being the more strategic match, it would have been better received, or at least that’s my perception.

People don’t like to feel dumb, even less to realize they actually are. If what I’m writing here makes me sound dumb, then perhaps I am, but it doesn’t matter as this post has nothing but my sincerest thoughts on the matter, even if I’m trashing Overwatch along the way. I think Paragon was a great game, unique in a sea of MOBAs, that people just failed to understand and that the developers didn’t support correctly.

Was Fortnite the issue?

Epic Games is often accused of doing popular things then scrapping them, fad chasers is what they call them. Paragon started when MOBAs were a big thing, just like Fortnite started when Minecraft was a thing. Sure at the time you had Cliffy B on board so he wanted a gritty and scary thing in Fortnite. Fortnite was one of those games that went through development hell, a game that if not by PUBG catching fire (see what I did there) and they being able to rip it off, it would have crashed and burned by now. Fortnite was sold as an Early Access game

I clearly bought into Fortnite’s Early Access, hence the screenshot of the banner unlocked. What made me buy Fortnite when I knew it wasn’t done? If there’s one thing I learned from playing Paragon, is that Epic will change everything trying to find the best system for the gameplay. I wanted to be a part of that too, I wanted to see the game change and grow (keep that expression in mind) over time. I also wanted to thank Epic for Paragon, so I thought this would be the best way to do so.

I was aware of Fortnite before I knew anything about Paragon, I mean like I said, it’s one of those games that went through development hell. I was watching one of their livestreams when they were giving away keys to almost everyone, they didn’t give me one (at the time it was a PC only game) so I never got the chance to try it myself. Over time I stopped paying attention to it as I never got a key, nor even acknowledgement that I wrote them asking for one. Why was I interested in Fortnite? Well, obviously the cartoon graphics as I mentioned before, then there’s the whole building thing which I enjoy a lot (main reason why I like Fallout 4) and Orcs Must Die 2 is one of my favorite Tower Defense games. (Keep that game in mind too)

If I had known that everything they said about working on developing what is now a mode (Save the World) was a lie, I would never have wasted money on Fortnite. The game is as incomplete now as it was on launch. Sure they have had events but almost every resource is going into the Battle Royale mode. Again proving that they are indeed fad chasers. If you feel like I’m wrong here, that it was a logical business decision and that justifies whatever you’ve spent on Fortnite, then fine, that’s what you think. But personally, I can’t recommend anyone to spend money on ANY Epic Games game from now on. This will sound like Blackmail and maybe it sort of is, but I do mean this, if Paragon is completely closed (as in I can’t play it in any way, shape or form) to me, I don’t see myself giving EG money again in the future. I don’t just say things like that and change my mind when it’s convenient, I haven’t bought an EA game since they burned me with SimCity 2013.

The Heroes of Paragon

Paragon has a bunch of great heroes, my favorite hero would come out in May 2017. That would be Phase. I’d say it was love at first sight but it wasn’t, it was love at first try. Before Phase there was Aurora, a controlled type character that had the looks and mobility, not to mention damage output. I often play range roles or control types, while Aurora was melee, I felt she has more mobility than Countess plus her control abilities were great to set up team attacks. I never thought a support would be far more interesting to me.

Phase’s kit was amazing, actually it was too good to the point where she broke the game for some people. One thing is a good support, another is a support good at everything. Good at healing, dealing damage and controlling the enemy. She got nerfed a couple of times, with her healing being affected the most, she’s still my main. For whatever reason, Phase felt like a part of the Phantom Thieves in Persona 5. Granted that after reading her lore I completely understand why that was the case, but the fact that I thought about it without reading it says a lot about the work put into the character itself

There are so many nuances in her animations, even her new launch pad animation. While not as involved or defining as most of the characters’, it still feels like a Phase launch. Her relationship with Shinbi was explored later, it was interesting but it didn’t change what I thought the character was like. She is the character I’ll miss the most, but don’t think she’s the only character I like a lot.

1. Countess 2. Aurora 3. Lt. Belica 4. Sparrow 5. Dekker 6. Serath 7. Morigesh 8. Zinx 9. Drongo 10. Wraith 11. Yin 12. Gadget 13. Muriel 14. Twinblast 15. Murdock 16. Shinbi

I will miss all of them. There are a few I haven’t even tried.

The greatest game I couldn’t play

From September 19, 2017 to January 9 2018, I didn’t have internet access. Hurricane Maria had destroyed our infrastructure leaving many of us in a terrible situation. Originally I was OK, I was prepared for around 2 months of no power, let alone net access. My house held fine (or so it did at first) and my family was OK. Then it started, the following days it started raining what felt like non stop and the damage Maria did, was now evident. Water was pouring in, my things were getting damaged, first I lost my bed, then my desk, well to cut to the point, I pretty much lost my house. I don’t have the money to fix it and with the situation my country is in, I don’t think it’s even worth it.

All I kept thinking about was, man I wish I could play Paragon again. Sounds silly but everyone has something that helps them disconnect from whatever terrible reality they are in. For nearly 4 months that’s all I wanted to do. Late October I moved to my brother’s house, it had power, water would come later but at least it had power. I started playing some games to avoid thinking of what I lost and had yet to lose, as I couldn’t save everything important. Nothing clicked, all I wanted was to play Paragon. I would watch my captures of my game time, over and over and the “music video” I did of my first coop match playing her

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I missed the October event, I wanted that mummy Yin skin. I almost missed the winter event skins, got net back right when they extended the event 1 more week, so I was able to buy Morigesh and Aurora’s skins. Those weren’t the last skins I bought, no. The last skin I bought was the Panda skin for Phase. The day before they announced that Paragon would close.

So you see, the answer to my first question, why is this affecting me so much? well, after losing my house and some of my things, the game I wanted to play the most is going away too. It breaks my heart, I saw Paragon from almost every stage in development, highs and lows I loved playing it, I still do. There are terrible games that somehow are still up (Day Z comes to mind) yet this amazing game that is making so many people cry, it’s going away. Or is it?

Were we lied to?

It all points to yes, something happened that they can’t talk about. In their open letter they said

Here inside Epic, we’re talking about the future of Paragon in pretty much the same terms as you’re talking about it. The core challenge is that, of new players who try Paragon, only a small number continue to play regularly after a month. Though Paragon has evolved, no iteration has yet achieved that magical combination of ingredients that make for a sustainable game. (As an aside, the problem isn’t marketing or how to make money with Paragon. We have good ideas that would solve those problems if we can find a way to make Paragon grow.)

So, if the problem wasn’t marketing (which btw it was, it wasn’t even promoted 1/5 of what Fortnite has been) nor making money with it, the problem was making it worth the effort. At least that’s my opinion. Fortnite success came over night, so it was an easy decision to ditch their less popular game even though it is their superior product. But is that even the case here? While Paragon is going to close for us, in China it started its closed beta

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What the flying fuck is going on here?

It’s hard not to feel betrayed, it’s hard not to wish Epic Games failure (I try not to) but nothing is harder than seeing a great game close, with some relatively true explanation but no real logic behind it. Closing Paragon, even if it was to make development on Fortnite easier, is a mistake. Leave it in life support until you can come up with better ideas for it. The rank mode they were working on was never implemented in Paragon, instead it was moved to Fortnite. So don’t tell me you did everything for the game, it died because you didn’t support it Epic. It died because you killed it not because we left, I never left. As the final months are quickly going by, and I try to enjoy my final moments with it, in an analogy I rather not say, I feel myself getting sick. I get this massive headaches now, Paragon may have nothing to do with it but coincidentally, they come after playing a few matches. It hurts to know it’ll be gone and that I won’t be Phase anymore.

On the other side, I hope Epic Games have realized that Fortnite is more of a platform than a game. Quickly being able to transform itself from tower defense building game to a battle royale with building elements. I mentioned Orc Must Die series, well their latest game was one of the many MOBA attempts that kind of failed. They had to add the classic gameplay that made them popular in order to keep their fans, because they were bleeding players like crazy. Now, the current version has plenty of modes, kept the MOBA, (EDIT: They removed the MOBA mode) added the classic and created a few more. Fortnite can be Paragonized if they wanted to, they could even add some of the Paragon characters to Fortnite, I would gladly pay for Phase.

Soldier Class

1. Belica 2. Murdock

Constructor Class

1. Terra 2. Greystone

Outlander Class

1. Phase 2. Twinblast

Ninja Class

1. Shinbi 2. Kwang

And clearly, I’m not the only one that thinks that’s doable. naastika.deviantart.com

Final thoughts

I may be angry and disappointed, and I do mean it, that if I can’t play Paragon or Phase (mostly Phase) any more, that I truly won’t support any more Epic Games games, but I do appreciate the rare opportunity to play such an amazing game. I’m too old to like video games for the gamey aspects of it, I prefer the media side of it, the opportunities it offers as a story telling device that surpasses books and movies. I started my gaming on the Atari 2600, I’m done with jumping around for hours or shooting for no reason. It is extremely rare for me to get attached to a game with no narrative, and the fact that Paragon pulled this off, speaks to the talent working on the game.

Thank you for Paragon, and fuck you if you do close it.

#Paragon #personal thoughts #Epic Games

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