#also ranted in a gc with my friends about it and now they are all mad at me for spamming

[finelinepie]

Well I’m sorry your best friend has lied to you about what they’ve done. I’m not pressed at all, it’s her and her friends that are getting pressed since she’s being exposed as the horrible person we’ve seen that she is. You mentioned you’ve known her for almost a year, great, but the bullying of authors took place early last year when she had a Gc of writers gang up on another for simply venting and ranting to her, told them the author was trauma dumping. As well as last August/September when her group attacked the three others resulting in all three authors leaving their platforms and one harmed themselves from the publicly done bullying across private and public x accounts. If you’ve been shown screenshots by her, hate to tell you but she’s not showing you the full truth.

Most importantly Heartateasee has never once apologized to these authors, we don’t even know if these authors still use their accounts or if Heartateasee fully ran them off. All she has done is deny she made anyone harm themselves when plenty saw the proof she did, she’s continuously accused one of the authors she’s targeted as being behind exposing her. Meanwhile there’s been people who choose to stay anonymous due to the level of disgusting behavior we’ve seen in screenshots but there’s also multiple accounts that have been brave enough to comment or reblog her posts instead to speak on how they feel about this. There’s not one thing pointing to any of the victims participating in this, two victims even came out to another tumblr blog to confirm what was being said. Specifically the one who harmed themselves came out to clear their name of Heartateasee’s accusations once they were made aware Heartateasee still is targeting them. Both made it very clear they are not on socials related to the writing community anymore due to Heartateasee.

Heartateasee has said she’s only had issues with one author on X but screenshots of everything paint the picture that it was a group of two authors and then a group of three authors that she bullied. That’s five people in total harmed by this author. That is what we have an issue with. The lies to try and spin this her way are disgusting. She hasn’t apologized or taken any kind of accountability, she instead turns off comments and reblogs preventing people from showing her that it’s multiple people who agree on this issue. Exposing her isn’t harming the victims cause none are even on here to see it. And that’s on Heartateasee because without her those people would probably still be enjoying their hobby of writing.

I stay anonymous because I saw first hand the threat that was sent to Harrysbesti3 for having the screenshots posted. I’m not going to subject myself to any targeted attack by these people so yes I shall remain anonymous for my own safety.

Whether or not they are on socials makes no difference. you are still bringing it up. I don’t know how to make this more clear- BOTH PARTIES HAVE SAID THEY WISH TO BE LEFT ALONE

“I’m not pressed at all” *continues to watch her likes and repost numbers to anonymously message everyone who interacts with her.*

I do wish you’d stop the false claims that she hasn’t apologized, because she has. 2 of them have even said as much.

And here we are 6 months later wanting to see proof to clear up names and y’all still can’t give it. You can stay anonymous. that’s fine. But where is Leigh’s safety concern?? Because she was NOT the one to post that threat. Where is everyone else’s safety that is getting harassed because of your little army of anons? And you don’t know if they see it??? You don’t have their socials?? Then why are you fighting their battles for them??

Leigh has stated multiple times that she is sorry for the way the things happened. she HAS taken accountability for it.

I find it funny that you guys have now been causing Leigh harm longer than the said bullying and harassment of authors XYZ. What you are all doing is bullying and harassment in and of itself. And the anon posts need to stop, now and immediately.

I am letting you know that I have tracked your IP addresses and any and all attempts to remain anonymous are futile.

[patscorner]

HOW ARE YOU AND ROSE SO CLOSE IM SO JEALOUS DAMMIT

I'm ngl... I don't even remember that well. (he lies)

I met her when I FIRST got into the Sturniolo fandom, so like... January. And some of yall know there was once a gc (crashed and burned unsurprisingly)

then another... and then... another... all of which crashed and burned. most of the drama was kept off tumblr (thank fuck) but ofc, some of it got on here(there's so much lore that yall don't know and never will.)

but me n Rose have been chill through it all. We haven't talked the entire time, but these last couple of months, she's been like my best friend on here. Now I'm Abe Lincoln, and she's Obama in our chats so.

Her fics were one of the first I read on here, and honestly, I aspire to write like her. the way she conveys feelings through her words just fucking astounds me. she uses words I have to Google sometimes, man. That's how amazing her writing is.

And just as a person in general, I lover her personality. the way she can fuck around and have fun, but can also handle shit when needed. she's not afraid to speak her mind and give her opinion, and even though some of you guys may say she's all drama, I'd say she says what needs to be said instead of sneak dissing and being passive aggressive about it.

She's not one to talk bad about you. She's not one to make things personal, throwing insults and such, but she sure as hell will put you in your place. She has my entire heart, and my full support in a lot of the things she says. Because to be honest, she probably said it better than I ever could.

She's also one of the funniest ppl I've ever interacted with.

This shouldn't have turned into a rant but oh well.

Love you with my entire soul.

To, Rose.

-Pat💙

@bernardsbendystraws

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn’t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not telling someone i dont want to be their friend?

in my freshman year of high school, i became part of this friend group with like 12 other people. we had a very active groupchat, always sat together at lunch, etc. this girl, lets call her “J,” would sit with us, but she wasn’t part of the group. she knew two of the people in the friend group from middle school*, so we eventually added her to the gc. over the next couple months, everything was pretty alright. however, myself and a few others in the group slowly started talking to her less and less. there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just one of those cases of ��sometimes in real life there will be people you dont like that much for no reason.” the only real issue was that she’s very self-deprecating, and doesn’t make very many original comments/jokes outside of being self deprecating or complaining about her dad. (ex. one of my friends got the role he wanted for a play, and instead of congratulating him J went on to give a rant about how much she thinks she sucks at theater because she’s never gotten a lead role.) fast forward to now, we’re all sophomores. i never talked to her that much in the first place, but i feel kinda bad that now pretty much None of us talk to her. people don’t respond to her in the gc anymore because all she really does is make us feel bad for her or quote unfunny memes**. i dont think any of us Dislike her, but we dont really like her that much either. nobody has said anything to her because we know she’ll take it super personally. i genuinely want her to make friends who will like her, but she cant do that because shes trying to be part of our group instead. i feel really guilty, like we’re leading her on by not saying anything, but i also dont feel like i should be the one to tell her since i only talked to her for about a month. its really tough because nobody wants to admit that we’d rather she leave us alone, so nobody does anything. i think shes somewhat aware of how we feel, but hasnt left the gc or found different people to sit with at lunch. i really dont know what to do and i feel guilty. am i the asshole for not doing anything?

*she was only acquainted with the people from middle school, they werent close

**kind of related, my friends make fun of me a lot in a joking way (which im totally ok with bc i know them), but J tries to include herself in these jokes by making fun of me too (which makes me uncomfortable, i barely know her). its just kinda weird cos its like. shes not calling me stinky bc she’s joking with me shes doing it bc she wants the approval of the people in the group. its really impersonal

What are these acronyms?

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[r1poutmygvtz]

OKAY so I was thinking..WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF REGULAR SODAS? Not even just sodas— soda, oil, icecream, cake, syrup, and dressings. (I mean why have a salad and then make it 500 calories because you drowned it in thousand island dressing?(yum)), I mean yes, these things have value, but for the privileged..diet soda, frozen yogurt, gluten & sugar free cake (or just halo top), sugar free syrup, and reduced calorie dressings. And lastly AIR FRYING. OIL IS EVIL. This society just normalizes wasting 170 calories on soda..something with no nutritional value whatsoever. Idk I just wanted to rant AGAIN. What are your thoughts?

Rant #2: Oil 😰 for real..at my house we have hashbrown patties for 170 kcal but if you use oil to make it all of a sudden one patty is 600 calories….french fries are actually decently caloried at 150 for 13 according to my seasoned fries. But guess what? FRY THE FRIES AND NOW THEY ARE 550 CALORIES— I mean this way we can maintain weight using oil if we go into food scarcity but I doubt that too many Americans are starving unless it’s us (THE ANAS) and the lower class families (and broke college students 😔) that really need the food that I and many others are forced to eat. Now I’m tempted to make a company called Anorexics for the starving 😭

Here’s your reminder to not waste food if you don’t need to, and to give it away if you can !! (Not directly toward you just toward anyone if you actually reply)

OMG NO ME AND MY FRIENDS WERE TALKING ABOUT THE SODA IN THE GC A WHILE AGO IDK EITHER THEYRE LOADED WITH SUGAR AND YOURE BETTER OFF JUST GETTING A SMALL SNACK, the rest i can understand tho since it's normal for the average person (though there's still a lot of sugar in some of these things) and because they'll at least fill you up more than a pop (minus the oil, i hate oil, oil scares me so much im ngl) but you have a point with the wasting cals, most people don't really care about their intake so that's probably why it's so normalized

we have hash browns at my house too so i get what you mean with how much the cals jump with oil, that's why i air fry everything, it has the same texture for most things without adding hundreds of empty cals

also yea i try to give my sister or mom my snacks and if i don't finish my meal and it's safe to i'll give it to my cat, most of the time i finish all the food tho and the only time i really waste it is if i take to long and it goes bad :3

[vvingcolleen]

A rant about the blatant transphobia/non-binary phobia going on in the "The Summer I turned Pretty" Fandom right now.

FOR GOD'S SAKE. I AM DONE DONE with this fandom hating on Elsie. The things people say online are legit hate speech or bordering on hate speech. There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE between simply disliking a character for their characterization and what the fandom does online ((1) targetting the characters apperance, (2) referring to Skye as "it"?!??!?!, and they refer to Elsie the same way too especially in press junket vids).

Firstly, I hate all the comments that are like "Did you see Chris' face, he probably hates them." Or like "The cast probably has a gc without them." Like I could be petty and be like "Well ELSIE PROBS HAS A GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEES GC WITHOUT ANY OF THEM IN IT" but also its pathetic to assume things about people you dont personally know. And if you really wanna based things through a screen then as we can see on social media they hangout and get along with Elsie JUST FINE OKAY.

Also, Minnie and Elsie are friends, so trying to constantly default to "I just hate that they replaced Shayla" and trying to seem like hating Elsie is some form of justice isnt the white knight-ing they think it is (also the two characters arent even equivalent to each other so its a nullified argument).

Thirdly, I feel like the hate is too far (people try to justify it bc they dislike Skye as a character but all the tiktoks I see are about their appearance, which I feel is so unecessary). Considering that the character is a socially, anxious teenager, who seemingly has no friends but their mom then YEAH plot wise of course they're only going to know their mom's side first and defend their only trusted person in life first. When the Fisher bros do legit anything, everyone is proud of their "character growth" but the same people won't even give Skye a chance to maybe undergo the same growth.

Also IDK in my opinion its easier to morally defend this socially anxious teenage defending her closest friend/mom with a snarky comment rather than a girl who DATES BETWEEN TWO BROTHERS. So, lets maybe not be to harsh on them.

All I'm saying is PLEASE lets be kinder. It legit costs nothing to be a little nicer or at least restrain what you say about people online.

[thebestofoneshots]

I’m about to read the new chapter of gc but I need to tell this to somebody because I’m like shocked

Ok so rant time (please give me your opinion on this btw like I’m I overthinking it or something ) and sorry if this makes you uncomfortable

But I was texting my friend and I remembered this time he said i “bring out the worst of him” and so I’m like what did you mean by this???? He ends up explaining how apparently I make him feel safe enough to be himself and not have to act normal and how he feels comfortable around me and that already had me like 🥹🥹🥹 AND THEN he said how the little time we do hang out he looks forward to???? Sobbing like that’s so sweet????

Changed the subject to him making more friends and made the joke about “what are you gonna do when I’m dead/gone” and he’s just like “cry..” but don’t get it wrong he has other friends just not many in our school. Only way he met me was because I walked up to him and pretty much said “we’re friends now come on!!!” So continuing off the joke of me being gone I asked “what if there isn’t another blonde curly haired white girl to befriend you?” And what does he say???? “If they aren’t you it won’t work. There’s only one you. And I like just you” 😧😧😧

Like ok that’s making me tear up ngl but I keep pushing saying shit like “oh well what if they’re a great friend like better than me??” And he just goes “I’d still choose you” so I remind him that I’m dead in this scenario AND HE SAYS “I’d still choose you though. I’d sit by you and rant and babble about whatever and I’d be fine with that. I can’t replace someone when they’ve already made an impact. They can be the exact same in personality but they are not you, not to me .”

Sobbing violently at this point like idk I never really thought someone could care about me like actually enjoy my presence so this shocked me. But am I like overreacting??? Or thinking to much about it??? Idk imma go read the new chapter

OK IM GONE!!!

My first instinct is to tell you: Dude he has a crush on you!

But! That's literally how much I cherish my friends, so he might just be like me and love you to death in a friendly manner. If you like him like that though, check his body language, there might be some tell-tale signs on it.

And also, I feel like we should address this because of course people enjoy your presence THAT much! Personally, I get all giddy whenever I get an ask from you, and we only know each other ONLINE! Cannot imagine how great of a friend you must be to people in real life. Having said that, I don't think you are overreacting, it always feels nice to be appreciated, especially by people in whose life you didn't know you had made such a BIG impact.

And this did not make me uncomfortable at all luv, I literally adore hearing from all of you <3

[ghostkidsblog]

Do you have any headcanons about the Shadow Boys when it comes to food? (I know that's random but I'm hungry so this came to mind)

Of course I don't mind, although I don't know which category of food your asking so I'll try to name at least 5-7 food types.

Griffin stagg

I see Griffin actually loving the flavor of mint chocolate chip ice cream or strawberry ice cream but it has to have small bits of strawberry in it or he refuses to eat it.

Spaghetti and meatballs, his mom made it for him once testing out a recipe and now forever loves them and asks his mom to make them for dinner at least 2 or 3 times a week. He would also help his mom make them whenever he can.

Animal cookies, his favorite would always be the lion shaped cookies, I mean like it's animal cookies, besides I think he used to play with them when he was little

Apple juice and cherry/ strawberry sodas are his all time favorite drinks, you can't tell me he doesn't enjoy cherry or strawberry soda. Also it's a funny moment when there is a fight going on and he is just there drinking his apple juice box in the background.

Billy Showalter

Billy gives me the type of person to like apple pie, along with any dessert that is apple flavored

Chocolate ice cream all the way. He loves and I mean loves Chocolate ice cream, he also enjoys sherbet ice cream

Hates root beer soda, he actually is a fan of coca cola, he likes the classic cola can.

Loves and I mean LOVES Caramel apples on a stick. His sister introduced him to the dessert ever since he was little and they went to the local fair, and has loved it ever sense then.

Vance Hopper

I haven't thought much about Vance so most of these if not all are ideas from a couple of friends on discord gc!

Vance would like to eat old fashioned recipes because his mother would make them for him growing up. ( It can be french,Italian, heck even Greek whatever you headcanon to be he will always love the old recipes)

He is a meat lover, meatloaf,hamburgers,hotdogs,etc. He will love it if it has meat in it.

Rocky road ice cream, I thought long and hard for this one, I genuinely think he would love the rocky road or any Flavor with huts in them.

Spicy chips, he would eat them without a problem. He has a high tolerance to spicy foods and he loves them to snack on.

Cookies, personally snickerdoodles or sugar cookies. He baked them with his mom and molded them with cookie cutter with whatever shapes they had. I like to think vance liking cinnamon treats sue me for headcanoning that.

Bruce Yamada

Mint chocolate chip & chocky chocolate ice cream, I had that idea in my head since freaking October. He would love those two flavors.

Chocolate desserts/treats he would love to have anything chocolate flavored.

Peaches and apples would be his favorite fruit in my book. He would share his peache or apple in slices with his friends/shadow boys.

Big league bubble gum, he also likes other flavors but I can't seem to find what type of flavors there are.

Robin Arellano

I don't care what anyone says Robin is a HUGE SWEET TOOTH KID, he definitely likes those bonbon cookies in the Mexican store

His mom's cooking is the best, whether that be empanadas, enchiladas, heck eve chicken soup, it's his favorite because his mom makes the best food

He strikes me as a sour gummy worm kid, like he would enjoy eating sour gummy worms while everyone else he knows dislike or hate the taste of them or how they look

Chicken tenders was his favorite school food, the only thing that looked safe to eat was chicken tenders and he would gladly give you a full on lecture/rant on how the chicken tenders are the best option (he also like dinosaur nuggets!)

Mangonada & cookies n cream is his favorite ice cream in my book

Finney Blake

M&Ms and 100 grand chocolate bar is his favorite candies (he definitely separates the cold tone M&Ms and warm tone M&Ms then eats the cold tones ones first)

Vanilla ice cream lover but doesn't mind eating other flavors (he would put sprinkles & other toppings on his ice cream you can't change my mind on that)

Grape and cherry soda lover (he definitely goes to the store only getting grape or cherry soda and nothing else)

Garlic bread is his favorite bread to snack on (his mom taught him how to make it when he was a bit young and still has the recipe on how to make it)

He strikes me on loving a chicken Alfredo and beef stroganoff dish (he was sleeping over at Robin's at the time and robin’s mom made these two dishes and Finney loved it so much he asked Robin's mom on how to make them afterwards)

Sorry for such a late response, I've been busy with both personal and school problems. Thank you for being so patient with me and I hope you enjoy this answer for your ask! :D

-Ghostkid

[golbrocklovely]

holy sh*t, it seems Colby has finally unfollowed mlp… never thought I’d see the day 🤣 good for him honestly

same here, anon.

i genuinely didn't think he had it in him to cut the chord. but he did it.

i'm gonna go on one "final" rant (which i doubt will be final bc things like this always come back around) and then maybe we can all move on from this topic forever lol

my problem with fans reaction to this/to shea in general is that everyone basically implies or downright says that colby should have stayed with shea no matter what. that he was obligated to choose her bc she's been around since he was less famous, that she knows him, that there's history there, ect ect. and i have a major problem with that and have since day one. same things also applies to stas.

and look, this is not me saying that colby played no hand in this. is it possible that he lead shea on? sure. i'm not denying that's a possibility or reality. and i'm not saying that shea can't be hurt about it. but at the end of the day, if he didn't want to date her, he doesn't have to. regardless of what he might have promised, regardless of what might have transpired between them, he's not obligated to stick by her just bc some of yall love adventure buddies a bit too much. he's not a sim or a character you can control. he's a real person with real feelings and real choices he's allowed to make. even, surprise surprise, ones you don't like or agree with.

if i was colby, i would have unfollowed shea years ago. but he's nicer than me.

i just find it so odd how so many of these fans act like he picked malia over shea. yall, shea was never in the running in the first place. the last time they hung out was in september of 2023, when he was literally seeing tess at that time and up and a little bit past halloween. and then he ended up meeting malia in late nov/dec. so there is no possible way him and shea got something going on before nye when everything went south for them. the only way that's possible is if he played all three girls and somehow none of them realized it (which i doubt completely since tess or shea by this point would have said all of this).

i do not believe whatsoever that he had plans to hang out on nye, one of the holidays where he parties, with the girl that literally doesn't drink. not only that, but by nye he was full on seeing malia. we all know this. we all saw this. shea assumed he would hang out with her, just like she assumed he would come stream with her, like she assumed he would edit her videos and be in them. these are all legit promises she made in the very beginning of her streams. but the moment the nye pics dropped, her tune changed instantly. now she was badmouthing him and allowing her fans to do her bidding of shitting on him in chat and online. and basically every stream she did, she would say something about him. which again is why i cannot understand any of the fans that genuinely support her blindly.

bc if i had someone in my life who i had a possible on and off again relationship with, that's been talking to fans in gcs for years about me and my love life (along with god knows what else), liking edits bashing girls i'm friends with, claiming to her own fans that we're secretly dating but then turning around and blaming fans when our "relationship" goes south, and then takes the intimate details of my struggles that i came to her as a friend to discuss and turns them into shitty insta captions along with an entire part in a poetry book that she's making money off of…. and then tries to paint me as the worst person ever……. the LEAST i'm doing is unfollowing lol

but again, colby is nicer than me.

and if you don't believe me about the gcs, here she is in 2019 telling a random fan of colby's that was hating on her that colby and andrea were not together (since so many fans were shipping them at the time). and she full on aired out andrea's relationship, one she didn't even admit to having until after the break up.

here is a fan account of shea's (now deleted) that literally explains shea was in MULTIPLE gcs with fans. mind you the fan posting this was a literal teenager. this is also about the above situation too.

and just as an added bonus, here is shea's chat from roughly two weeks (january 16) after he was seen with malia on nye (and when those pics leaked of them)

but hey, if you want to be besties/fwb with someone like this, be my guest.

[redhotchilisimblr]

rant about the sims 4

new roadmap unpopular opinion :

i’m quite satisfied with this roadmap. i mean, we got so many EPs in 2023 that I can barely catch up (I haven’t fully explored growing together, not finished my ranch and still setting residential lots..) there are so many things to do and a lot of simmers want “content for having content”, and are not actually playing the game. i know that we don’t play at the same speed (I'm very slow, I don’t age my Sims, haven’t finished Willow Creek.. so it says a lot), but how can you complain that EA releases too many packs, but at the same time request for more and more expensive packs? lmao it doesn’t make any sense. 

also, I don’t consider kits as packs. they are add-ons for people who want to expand some collections, but are not really essential to get (let alone the fact that some cc creators made some kits available as base game items). despite being a GC, I have purchased some of them with my own money and I regret some kits lmao. now, they are better quality content (for the price I mean) but at a time it was like.. yeah, I don’t want this but I still want all the DLCs. 

I live in France and here we have a powerful currency with the euros. But a lot of simmers tend to forget that many players are living with minimum wage or in a country where even 5$ USD means a lot on their salary/earnings. Now, imagine how players from “weaker currency” (let them called like that bc I don’t want to be biased, or let people think that everyone is poor in some countries when its totally not the case) are dealing with 40$ USD EP coming back to back ??? I mean, in some countries, 40$ USD is a monthly salary or not far away. Which means, getting 3 EPs is out of pocket - literally. 

The Sims 4 is now a luxury to play - because of EA’s greed, for sure, but also bc some players are pushing this agenda of “we need more packs, now!” and bc there’s a high demand, they do not care if the product is exactly want people want. I’m not trying to blame anyone in particular. Tbh, I used to be this kind of player (mostly bc at the launch, the game feeled empty and like a let down compare to previous edition). But now, I fully understand that we are responsible for this never ending issue. As a Game Changers, I know that some people might not believe me, or think it’s not genuine but, clearly, I’m not paid by EA for doing anything. I just playtest most of the time in very short period. I have a great job, I also have some passive income. I don’t need to be influencer to earn money and its a blessing.   

don’t forget that we are all waiting for updates to fix For Rent. it will be mad to launch a new EP if the previous one is still broken for so many players. there’s a lot of things changing for the influencers also and this “slow” time could be used to discover new gameplay, new players, new cc for those who used them and explore all the things we missed in the packs we already have. i still discover new options to this day and I play quite a lot so, you know, we are going to chill together and it will be good. 

as for my suspicion, I really do think as simmers we shouldn’t be worried about upcoming contents. with new competitors launching their game in 2024, EA will be more cautious about the kind of content they release, and they might release more in a shorter time period. I BET we will be flooded with DLCs by the end of the year... 

Now, I really do hope that more Game Changers will be more vocal about the issues (its starting but with caution). we really have nothing to lose. Not bc TS4 is going to be fixed (it won’t, as the BG have so many structural/coding issue) but for Project Rene. We need collectively to point out all the things we do love about TS4 (bc it’s a really beautiful game with a lot of potential) and also the things we don’t like. Loving something or someone is always about honesty : if you friend smells bad, please, tell him. if your friends is in the wrong, tell him! So if you care that much about the Sims, please, tell politely whats is wrong with the game without harassing the creators/workers. 

someone should just open a public file with all the complains compile and give it to the Project Rene team bc we do not want to miss this one for sure.

with all my love always, 

Red

[trissaysmoi]

September 25th, Wednesday

Moi!

It's another tough day for me. Today was our baccalaureate mass and graduation practice.

I really really tried my best to enjoy this day and just be present but it's really difficult. Every time I'm silent, the thoughts and pain came rushing in again. So, I distracted myself by using my phone while the mass is still going on. I also listened to music while the practice is going on. I just can't take my thoughts anymore and if I don't do anything about it, I might have an emotional breakdown.

Thankfully, my close friends are with me virtually. I chatted with them throughout the day so I can divert my thoughts elsewhere.

You might ask, don't I have friends in uni to be with today? Yes, I do. But I feel isolated knowing that they're all graduating with flying colors and I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I'm genuinely happy for them but I just feel bitter for myself.

Anyway, we went to the mall for lunch and chat since we had a few hours to spare before the practice in the afternoon. We also took pictures in a photobooth.

When we returned to uni, we still have time left so we went to the linear park, an area at the back part of the campus that oversees the river. The river was notoriously dirty before, but they cleaned it out eventually and when we get there, it doesn't even smell fishy anymore thank goodness.

Some of my classmates have never gone there since our college building is not in the main campus so it's lovely that they get to experience the place before the grad.

I was expecting for the practice to be until 7 but thankfully we didn't simulate the whole ceremony. It was more like an orientation on the stuff we're gonna do at the venue itself.

After the practice, my classmates get their medals while I wait for them near the gate. That's when I ranted to my close friends thru chat and accidentally shed tears. Crying in campus, bucket list checked /j

Another classmate chatted our class gc that we can get our togas now instead of our schedule on saturday so instead of being more dramatic, I queued in the line. Trying on the outfit made me smile.

On the way home, my friend told me that she also had a bad day, and we happened to be going home at the same time and near each other, so we met, hugged for a few minutes, and cried. I don't care if we're in public, we both needed that. People around us have no idea on what we're going thru rn.

She was so kind to treat me ice cream after our crying session. We caught up with each other even more and... I got to tell her my plan of studying again and getting a 2nd bachelor's degree, which is something I told my parents and my closest friends only. And this blog of course.

I'm already looking forward to it because I'm seeing it as a self-revenge after not being able to see the fruit of my labors my entire academic life. Let's aim for summa, shall we?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for 'Breaking up' with a friend?

This is going to be a loooong post so buckle up. I have been friends with this person, who I will refer to as Bread, since 2017. They were pretty much my only close friend beside my sister(Who i will call Gamer, she is important later on) but also i always found them kinda annoying, but I never said anything because i would have to see them in school everyday and it would be too awkward. So right before my school shutdown for Covid, like on the last day, I (basically) said "I don't want to be friends with you anymore." I however continued to be their friend because they acted as if nothing had happened and honestly it took me a lot of courage to say the first thing to their face anyways. This is the end to the first chapter in our story.

So skip a few months in which we have no school. When online school starts we did it on google hangouts, and i found a way to reconnect with my school friends, i.e Bread and two other people who will become VERY important to the story. These two people who i befriend i will call Sprite and Pepsi. Sprite and Pepsi are currently two of my best friends, however Bread has had a long running history of issues with Pepsi. Mainly they set these aside for the good of the friend group. I introduce the three of them to one of my outer school friend, who is slightly older than us and therefore i will call Mentor(who actually has a tumblr so if you see this, by now you know this is me so keep scrolling.) The six of us become very good friends(for those who need a reminder, that's me, Gamer(my sister), Bread, Pepsi, Sprite, and Mentor. Cue 2021, the friend group now all uses discord and I have been invited into a side group chat, titled something along the lines of 'plans to remove Bread from the friend group.' Now, during this time skip i have mentioned a few incidents have occurred. 1) Gamer and I have gotten in heated arguments with Bread over silly things, them being really rude about Sprite's art, them not liking a documentary I recommended, several incidents where they 'introduced' us to their online friends who was just them on an alt account. Anyway, back to the group chat. I am filled in on even MORE discourse between Sprite, Pepsi, and Bread. I don't really remember any of it know and the gc has been long since deleted. We talk shit about them behind their back while also pretending to be their friend(this is partly the asshole part because we did this A LOT.) During this time Sprite is our double agent, being the person Bread always rants and vents too, despite Sprite discouraging it. During this time somthing very childish happens that i am honestly embarrased to type, so i will skip it, occurs, acting as the catalyst for all of us breaking our friendship with Bread in favor of Pepsi. During this event many hurtful words were said, mainly aimed at Bread(to their face this time.) Our break in friendship, however, does not last long, as right after we(Me and gamer) are added to a groupchat where Sprite tells us that they were a double double agent and was on NO ONE's side during this entire thing and also kind of telling Bread what was going on. They explain that this friendship stuff is dumb, and we all become friends once more (including Bread and Pepsi.) Things continue as normal. This is the end of chapter two

School reopens. I am in a class with Bread and no other friends. Each day my resentment for Bread grows. (Also a quick context for our school, Bread, Pepsi, and Sprite all use the same bus. Me and Gamer do not. Mentor does not go to our school. Many events transpired on the school bus that i am not fully aware of.) At this point I fucking DESPISE Bread. Its lots of small incidents, that i never addressed with them. Them being too touchy, invading my private space, not understanding that WHEN I PUT MY HEAD DOWN THAT MEANS I AM TRYING TO SLEEP SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT POKE ME. At this point all of my friends and I use insta, as me and gamer have just gotten it, instead of Discord. My friends never used discord much, so now, I start talking to my friends more. Pepsi and Sprite start filling me in on more and more of Breads misdeeds. It is revealed to me how pushy Bread is, how they ignore peoples boundary's, etc, and how practically everyone in our grade fucking hates them. This is news to me. I start cutting Bread out more and more. The shit talking behind their back returns, but this time with a vengeance. This time more people are involved. This time, the friend group is larger. This time, the exclusion Bread faces is on a larger scale. It is 2023 now. I barely talk to Bread. Their friendship with Pepsi is entirely down, they had a big friendship over haul that i have not gotten into, but we're still friends, only in name, for Mentor. Anyway, I use Pepsi as a human shield. Bread will avoid us if we are near Pepsi, and wont come to a group event if Pepsi is there. Life is great, because i no longer have to deal with Bread and their bullshit.

Now i come to the final part. The actual breaking up. Bread has confronted me a few months prior about how i avoid them. I weave my way around the topic of saying I hate them because i am very non confrontational. But now, I have confidence. I just finished hanging out with my friends. Its the middle of the holidays so i can send them a message via discord and not have to think of consequences. So i do. I tell them that I don't like them. I don't exactly outline the problems, but I do tell them this has been a long tome coming. Now, comes the reasons why i could be an asshole.

One, I have been 'soft blocking' Bread for a long time before this and i should have done it ages ago. Two, They have literally no other friends now. They are entering a new school year completely friendless, and i cant completely say its their own fault. Three, Most of what I have heard about their wrong doing is passed down from mouth to mouth, so details may have been twisted and I should just confront them about it instead. Four. As their only friend, it was kinda my job to help them, isn't it? but i didnt . I just abandoned them as soon as i got fed up. Five, even when i was genuinely their friend, i was a really shitty friend, refusing to take their side in any conflict that arised. Six, Bread acts like a genuinely nice person that i don't mind hanging out with in person, its just certain things, and the way they act with others and online that pushed me to this point.

So thats it, thats my story. A few helpful things to keep in mind: This is only an abridged version of events. I will be answering any questions i can on a throwaway account to clear up any confusion, and also add more detail on what exactly Bread has done wrong. Also we are all under 18 in this story and currently, so please keep this in mind. I don't think i did anything wrong but also i am surrounded in an echo chamber of people that hate them so i need an outside view to really understand how bad of a person Bread is. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, and I hope this was, at least, entertaining to you.

What are these acronyms?

[maximotts]

that fun end of year appreciation ❥

so it's no secret that I've had a bit of a year from the depths of hell and I am more than ready for it to be over. but also in these past twelve months I've been so lucky to make new friends, grow friendships, and write a bunch of fun stories; that's the positivity I want to take from this year and move into 2023 and I just wannaaa tell everyone how much I appreciate them!

@wellsayhelloaagin -> I had to list you first obviously because well, I love you most. I could write essays about how wonderful you are and what an absolutely amazing girlfriend you are to me, but I'll keep it short and just say thank you for being not only my partner, but my best friend. I love you I love you I love you

@didujustcallmedumb -> Nay you absolute delight of a human being, you're one of the best people I know. I love that no matter how busy we get, we both know how much we love and care about one another; you're the best kind of friend and I'm so so lucky to know you

@kitmoas -> KITKAT!! I'm so so glad we're friends honestly and I hope we never stop being buds! You're so funny and always down for a good chat whether it be for feral thoughts or long ranting vms about random gripes. Please always stay in my pocket (I'll provide juice) thank you very much

@radbearx @immortalityisbliss -> I'm putting y'all together simply because in my head you're like, a cute pair... likeee.. Finn and Jake! Also we're in our lil gc together so ya know, evil paddsters for the win. N e ways, I want to bundle you both up and snuggle you so hard forever and ever and ever; the both of you never fail to make me laugh and I just cherish y'all so very much, okay?

@wandasbb @wandasdolly -> My Besties In Complaints, y'all are so very special! It's great to know we can always come together and be just a lil bit bitchy together, but also support one another when needed!! Mwah ily

@twilight-99-tm @caroldantops @scarlettwlw -> idk how y'all have put up with me for over a year now but I adore y'all and look up to you and your amazing selves so much!! Sorry I keep sending you cursed foods silver but also Not Sorry

@tastetherambeau -> I feel like I've told you this before, but if not, I'll say it again!! You're so admirable, so sweet, so talented.. I wuv you!! I wanna give you the biggest hug!! And also shake you for the devastating rollercoaster that is Flatline ! But affectionatly!

@wandas-honey @temptationsbrew @stealth-kittyy @thatsimplepoet @togrowoldinv @themidnightcrimson @didntalwayslookthisrough @wandasobsession @scarlet-clarity @a-real-fucking-legacy @houseofwm @innocentdxll @crescent-witch @therunawaykind @wandanatsversion @wndaswife @wndalovebot @fandoms-writings @family-house-of-m and all my other lovely friends and mutuals I've made over this past year: I love you so so much, whether we talk every day or every few weeks, you all have a special place in my heart. I can only hope I'm even half as good of a friend as you are all to me!

Also to every one of my followers: thanks for being patient and understanding as I try rolling through these ups and downs this year. You're so great for sticking with me truly I couldn't wish for a sweeter community of people! Cheers to a new year and many more fun things to come ahead!

[kjhmyg]

not re related but i’ve been having a rough time… this happened almost a year ago but last year in august, it was senior year (i still remember the exact date and time it happened) but two of my best friends cut me off cuz they said i had a lot of problems.. and no joke cried until 3 in the morning. it was so hard seeing them everywhere at school, i literally cried every week bc my heart hurt so bad just from seeing them. even though our friendship lasted 6 months (6 months with one of them, the other 2 years) we talked every day, literally every day, hung out almost every week and had a sleepover every month, so when they cut me off, i felt like a piece of my heart fucking tore in half.

then during the 2nd semester of senior year, i became classmates (not even friends) with the person i knew for 2 years and i admit i was REALLY happy. but a part of me thought she was doing it out of pity, keep in mind i still cried every week because of how bad it hurt. and then on our last day of school, i finally did the thing that hurt me the most and blocked their instas and delete all of our gcs and messages, and all of our photos. 700 photos of them. and i cried for hours on end. it hurt so bad.

and at graduation i saw one of them, and we talked for a bit. but it still hurt so bad. i thought i wouldn’t be so hung up over them but i still am it hurts.. and like the thing is, i thought we’d be a friend group throughout our senior year and maybe even college but it still hurts… and like i want to forget them but i genuinely can’t. :(

ALSO IM SORRY FOR RANTING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST CUZ MY MOM’S NO HELP AT ALL- like my little cousin asked me what happened between them and i started crying and so she got my mom AND MY MOM TOLD ME TO STOP CRYING, SAYING IT HAPPENED A WHILE AGO. i was just like 😀😀

hi my love! first of all, no need to apologise, we all need a good rant once in a while. i'm so sorry this happened to you :( no one deserves to be abandoned like that! did they ever elaborate on what they meant by problems? because unless those problems were affecting them, it's terrible that they just cut you off like that! especially since you knew one of them for 2 years, and spoke with them everyday.

i think it's the fact that you never got closure that's got you hung up over the whole thing. but now that you've blocked them on ig and deleted the gc, it means you're ready to move on! right?

i had a similar situation with a close friend of mine. we stopped talking (my fault, not hers), but i was hung up over it for YEARS. but because i knew i was in the wrong and i missed her. i did apologise but things didn't go back to the way it was - which is fine, because again, it was my fault.

we were still in each other's close friends list on ig and because i was seeing her every day on ig, it made it difficult for me to move on. like i kept wishing she would reply to my stories or wish me happy birthday. which never happened. so...i muted her. and the less i saw of her, the busier i got with other stuff like work etc, the easier it was to forget! to move on!

out of sight, out of mind.

so if you're ready to let the past go and move on, then im telling you from first hand experience that it will get better! let yourself feel what you feel, grieve your friendship (release all of what could've been), but know that you will feel better one day!

(but if you still want closure, it's a whole different thing so lmk. i got closure in my own way.)

anyway, you're allowed to feel sad about it doesn't matter what people think.

because i do get it, wanting to have a friend group to go through an important part of your life with. with people you have many memories with. unfortunately, not everyone is as lucky :( (me included, i never had that!).

but you'll have more chances in the future! (but also, it's okay even if you don't have that!) (it's okay to be alone) (but i dont want you to feel lonely) (life is complicated).

disclaimer that i'm not a licensed to give advice just a deeply flawed person that cares about you, and i hope that you can find your smile again one day <3

[pianostarinwonderland]

uhhh so 🤡 this isn’t my usual post. Actually in fact, it’s not even twst related, it’s irl related. I don’t usually like to use this blog for personal matters since I really dedicate this blog to Twst (and Azul). In fact, the most personal I’ve been are either the very few rants I have or wet soppy letters to Azul and those are all still related to Twst. But I don’t really feel like I have a proper space to share this, and it’s one of those things that I feel bad for sharing in a private friend gc.

It’s a long boi so I’m keeping it under the cut. Friends, feel free to message me if you want. Followers, well the most you’ll get out of this is a long diary entry and a snippet of why I’m not as active on the blog as before lol

Anyway so this has been on my mind for a while 🤡 as in, this has been taking up a lot of my energy

I know that it’s possible to be happy without a romantic relationship. I love all the friendships I have, and my best days are always when I’m around friends. I’m learning about the hobbies and activities that make me happy, and I’ve been really thinking about how to make my life fulfilling while I don’t go too broke doing it lmfao

But God. 🤡 It still doesn’t stop me from craving a romantic relationship so badly

Mainly the reason why I don’t choose to share this in any of my friend spaces is because I expect at least one of them to say “but you can live happily with platonic relationships”. Which is true! Again, my happiest times have always been with friends and I love them. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting to love and to be loved in that special way 😭

I’ve been really :// about my love life honestly. Like, ok I was not very outgoing in high school, and I was friends with people who didn’t really care about getting a boyfriend and shit like that. It’s only very recently that I’ve been more social. So yea it definitely makes sense that I never dated anyone

But still, knowing that most of my friends are either in a relationship, in the process of getting into one, or have been in one before but broke up 🥺 it’s like.. they’ve all at least met people who felt something for them mutually. They’ve all enjoyed that romance

And part of me is a bit jealous of that. In fact, when I told friends that I’ve never dated, I’ve gotten gasps because they couldn’t believe I never dated anyone. 😂😂😂

It really doesn’t help that my two sisters have really healthy relationships. One of them, married. The other, still boyfriend and girlfriend but they get along so well. And honest to God, being surrounded by that in the household just makes me feel a bit dejected because fucking shit I want that !!!! Why don’t I have that !!!

At the same time, I don’t wanna get into a relationship for the sake of one. Honestly a big part of why I feel this way is because I don’t really have a best friend 🥹 irl speaking of course. My few besties are all online and I love them to death but God, I want irl besties too. And I want my romantic relationship to be like that too. Just us goofing off, except that I can kiss him at the end of the day.

I can feel myself breaking though in the sense that shit I might one day wake up, say fuck it, and open a Tinder just to satisfy the short term desire for a relationship. I don’t want that for myself because I want to be critical of my relationships. I don’t want a shitty friendship, so why should I want a shitty relationship?

But still I’ve had days that I woke up feeling like that. And it’s really frustrating,,

Pls I’ve also hit points during this year where I thought maybe I should just give up on my love life. The few times I’ve confessed to people, I’ve gotten rejected. One of them even ghosted me 🥲😭 and it’s taken me months to mentally recover from it because I’ve never been ghosted like that (and he was a friend too, so that sucked ass). Right now, I like two guys irl, and now I’m talking to them a bit more often as friends, but I always have that reminder at the back of my head to keep a fair distance because if not, I might jump to confess and next thing I know, I lose friends again because I got vulnerable 🥹🥹🥹

Literally, my anthem right now is Fifty Fifty’s Cupid. I know that romantic relationships are messy, and I know that friendships are already great enough. But I still desire to be loved, I desire to love. I know it’s a waiting game, but I also don’t want to just wait for it. I want to take the opportunities that I can take.

Pls it’s also so funny, I’ve been giving relationship advice and emotional support to some friends, some of which Are in a relationship. I say all my words with a smile but deep inside, I’m like god. Why am I saying all this as if I’ve ever been in a relationship. Why are people even turning to me for this help lol but ok at least i look like i know what to do in a relationship LMAO

So haha anyway LOLLLL my first and hopefully last life update on the blog, I’ll delete it who knows when. But thank you for reading if you made it to this point 😭 and don’t worry too much about me! I’ll be better for sure. Just one of those days that I’m thinking about it hehe