#also psa you can be ableist while being autistic this is just more about how people are kind of holding him to a double standard

[worlds-oldest-teenager]

Solangelo antis: Solangelo is a bad ship because it's ableist that Will wants to fix Nico who is heavily coded as autistic.

Solangelo antis when will is blunt and out of pocket without realizing, on edge in an unfamiliar situation, and struggling with black and white thinking about the underworld and healing: This is the worst person to ever exist.

[rpbetter]

Let me get this straight.. a roleplay resource/meme blog decide to screenshot someone's rules and call them out because of what they wrote? when obviously those who follow them could easily tell. Frist of all whatever rule someone wrote isn't there for one to go out of their way to bad mouth them. If there's something in a persons rule I don't like I'll be an adult and move the fuck on, not screenshot it and drag their name through the dirt. Christ! at this point I don't trust no one who runs those resource/meme blogs. They might hurt someone else with their nosy asses. And that Raven person needs to grow the hell up and stop playing the victim. Do something else with their life, stop living off the internet.

Yep, you've got Phase One down straight, Anon.

And the rest of what you've said is was what got multiple other people called out or differently aggressed at, that's what the response was to the rules being posted and...we're going to say opined on for the point of shaming.

You're right and they were right as well. It doesn't matter how strict or aggressive someone is in their rules, if you find that or anything else about them objectionable, that RPer is obviously not for you. That's a very important part of reading a RPer's rules, it isn't just about their reply speed, preferred topics, or tagging needs. It's also about gauging whether this is a person you're going to work out with or not based on both the actual rules themselves and how you feel about the way they're presented.

You just ascertain that, feel as annoyed or salty or even offended as you so desire, and move on. Like an adult.

It was never going to be that way, though, Raven specifically went to that blog to be a nuisance and call them out. They were already invested in doing so from a perspective of having decided this RPer was being ableist because a post that reflected the statements made in those rules far more nicely and more applicable to their followers was taken that way. Somehow. Raven took it upon themselves to ignore that the mun did make multiple statements regarding the entire thing, including polite ones when their post wasn't being reblogged with maximum hostility and accusations and constant throwing around of the statement "full stop" like lol please, take your own advice. Because, yep, full stop it's valid to have whatever opinion you do, it isn't valid to jump on someone's post like that and be upset when they aren't nice to you about it.

Also took it upon themselves to ignore that the mun is also autistic, which was the crux of Raven being a dick about it. This isn't fair to ND people, you're being ableist, it is my holy mission to decide who and what is ableist, broker no discussion from anyone that doesn't support my behavior, because I'm autistic and this upsets me personally. Probably because that mun doesn't repeatedly make it a big deal on their blog and on their every PSA. Making a not wild assumption there, since I don't either, and I was also an ableist swine for disagreeing. At the same time that I like myself too much, I hate ND people lol if you figure that one out, let me know.

That's been a lot of the issue here. Many if not most of the muns they ended up doing the most damage to are mentally ill, autistic, chronically ill, and so on. It was fully irrelevant to Raven and Co, despite all of them espousing that we never know what is going on in the lives of others.

That's why we really need to just feel whatever we're feeling and not interact instead of going on a crusade.

As you said, this RPer's mutuals, writing partners, and friends were all quite aware of their rules. Those rules have existed for the better part of four or five years as they are today, the people who have chosen to interact are on the same page with them, and it must be working out well. After all, Rules Mun was so deep in enjoying their hobby that it took a random, concerned, good resource/help blog they reblog from often telling them that their rules were being drug around the RPC quite a bit after the fact for them to know. I'd say that would probably mean their interactions and friendships weren't exactly negatively impacted by their tone.

And those people, as well as former writing partners and mutuals-in-law very much did know it was that mun's rules, yeah. You really have shot yourself in the foot when RPers with some animosity between each other take issue with what you've done to one of them, and that did actually happen as well. People knew.

Furthermore, since that mun didn't know for some time, even if they had been inclined to change the rules to appear like it wasn't them for the sake of anonymity, it wouldn't have been hard to find them. It was still identical to how it appeared Raven's posts (yes, posts, multiple), the mun was already getting shit for their PSA from the same group, and like everyone else, has an identifiable pattern in their OOC speech. They were quite identifiable.

In no way was not just dropping the URL doing anyone any favors. It was just keeping that mun from going directly to Raven and being the polar opposite of myself in the way I tried to address it. Like everything else, it was Raven insulating Raven while trying to incite bullying and bullshit.

Sadly, I agree with you on the meme/resource blogs. I can think of such a small handful of them that I feel are trustworthy adults not interested in stirring up trouble. I'd love to recommend them, but at this point, I'm really afraid of mentioning anyone directly in a positive way. I would feel so horrible if I said, "hey, everyone, the following meme muns are helpful, have a great reputation, and are very nice people, please give them a follow if you haven't already" and it ended up in them losing followers or gaining harassment because I said it.

I don't reblog many memes because that isn't my primary function here, but when I do find those that I feel are very unique, helpful to muse development, and so on, I don't reblog from sources that give me red flags. So, that's probably a good clue!

I'm just sorry this is such an environment of mistrust and bad will, it so easily can be otherwise by doing precisely as you've said. We've all a right to having issues with things, we even have the right to argue with each other, but we don't have the right to turn it into bullying and mob rule. When you have a blog that isn't your more private space of a RP blog, you're taking on a responsibility to be a bit better than giving in to our actual worst inclinations. It's just even worse because this entire experience proves that there are far more RPers here who feel the way you do. It really is a comparative handful of muns out there pulling this kind of shit, but unfortunately, that's all it takes when they're engaging in full-time harassment campaigns and extremely loud about it.

Thanks for being one of the many adults here, Anon! I promise you're not as alone as it seems. We all just tend to be far quieter.

[miishae-archived]

Copied and pasted from an old rp blog of mine, that I feel is very important to read:

Question I was asked: ❝MAY I ASK SOMETHING ABOUT AUTISM AND THE COMMUNITY? I KNOW YOU CAN ONLY SPEAK FOR YOURSELF SO I WILL KEEP IT MORE CENTERED TI YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCES AND WHAT YOU'VE SEEN TO BE A GENERAL CONSENSUS?❞

Not very many people are aware what Autism or even Autism Spectrum Disorder is. Honestly, I’ve seen a lot of people tend to think of it as “diaper wearing, drooling idiots”

I’m going to start off by talking about my own personality first, and why it should not be outright dismissed as being ‘oversensitive’.

I am on the spectrum disorder. I’m very high functioning, as in, I am able to live on my own, with a boyfriend. I’m able to work, I’m able to walk around in society without causing a disturbance. But just because I appear ‘normal’ doesn’t mean I am.

I’m very very awkward. I get emotional and burnt out really quickly, especially in social situations. I don’t like physical contact, and I don’t like people yapping at me constantly. This is sensory overload. I get tired and cranky, and a lot of times am seen as rude for this.

This is just the tip of the iceberg for how little people understand autism. I constantly have to point it out, because even my loved ones don’t understand me. I can talk to someone over and over about not touching me or shutting up for awhile and giving me some space, and they’d just ask me a lot of questions that really don’t need answering.

I don’t talk much, and it’s not because I’m shy or introverted. I was originally diagnosed with having Nonverbal Learning Disorder, and while I don’t know if that is an outdated diagnosis or not, it aptly describes my social skills still. Link

How it relates to me personally though: I suck at social cues. I suck at maintaining eye contact, I don’t read body language well, and I tend to be brutally honest to a fault. What I think is a reasonable and fair statement can come across as rude and offensive to someone else. It was not my intention to be rude, and since people would rather be offended and passive aggressive, I don’t know how else to word things and I’m sorry, but you need to work with me and not shut down on me. How else am I going to learn how to interact with you?

I’m also incredibly literal minded. I know on tumblr it seems like I’m sarcastic and witty, and I know I crack a lot of jokes, but you would not believe the amount of times I’ve had to go to someone off tumblr and ask “what did this person mean? I don’t understand.”

It’s literally because I don’t understand you. I don’t get a lot of metaphors or jokes, and everyone else will be laughing and I’m sitting over here like “I don’t get it?” and no one wants to explain the joke because “I mean, it’s obvious!” No, it isn’t. Not to me.

I also tend to get hung up on certain things for long periods of time. I hate change in my routine. I hate changing things up because honesty: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But as far as ‘obsessions’ go? Video games comes to mind. I could tell you all about the Borderlands series and how it’s a great game filled with fan-fucking-tastic characters and how it’s an entire world built on survival and it’s dystopian and cyberpunk and-

Or I could tell you when I was a kid and the LOTR moves first came out, I was obsessed with them. I launched into repeated lectures about how the behind-the-scenes worked, or how they did this camera trick, or why that scene was the best to film, and OH did you know Viggo Mortensen was not the original Aragorn? He was called in last minute and only came on because his son was a huge fan and pushed his dad into filming.

I know no one actually cares, but I still care. If you let me talk about something I care about, I will TALK.

This is just the personality side of autism. How ableism comes into play is very subtle. And everyone can be ableist. Friends and family who come to me asking to understand, only to say “okay cool” and forget about it ten minutes later.

I have friends who casually throw around the R-slur. I catch myself using it from time to time, and I’m desperately working to unlearn it. But that word is so heavily used by so many people, and it’s so insulting to hear it thrown around so casually. But worse than that are the people who actually use ‘autism’ as a slur.

“A guy complaining about being friendzoned? He’s autistic.”

“If you play Minecraft you’re autistic I don’t make the rules.”

First off, statements like these are annoying, because they lump a good majority of people into one category, and second off, it’s assumed that people who are autistic are drooling idiots.

There’s a reason it’s a fucking spectrum, okay? I know quite a few people who are on the spectrum, and I’ve heard of other people who are on the spectrum. Everyone has different levels of coping and living. I’m not my cousin, who does need help, because he can’t function on his own.

I’m probably worse off than someone who can hold a stable job and learn to drive and fully function, and I admit that I do need my hand held on some things.

It’s quite possible to unlearn your way of thinking. Quit throwing around slurs as insults. They’re insulting, and frankly, tired. If you want to insult someone, there are far more creative ways to do so.

But it’s not just insults that are the problem. It’s people not caring enough. It’s people who feel the need to speak over us. You don’t get to tell me what I can or can’t find insulting. Frankly, I can’t stand blanket “these words are ableist” lists, because more often than not, they’re written by neurotypicals who are trying to appear Woke™, except that they argue with actual NDs who disagree with their assessment.

Also, and this is a BIG ONE FOR ME

DO NOT ASSUME EVERYONE WITH AUTISM IS A CHILD. I am so tired of seeing mental health awareness posts right here on fucking TUMBLR, of all places, with messages for children. I am 33 years old. I’m so far from a child or even a teenager, and I feel like putting my hair in pigtails and wearing little jumpers every time I see one of these super condescending PSAs about mental health awareness or autism awareness. Adults with autism exist, please quit excluding us in your misguided efforts to raise awareness.

I do agree that it’s not my job to educate you. You can ask questions, and I can answer, but I’m not your encyclopedia source. There are tons of helpful links and websites you can go to learn more about autism, spectrum disorder, and anything else that might be linked.

That being said, don’t go the opposite direction and completely ignore its existence. By ignoring it, you’re only contributing to the rampancy that ableism is. It’s very real and very damaging. It’s big things, like me being denied food stamps in my state because they didn’t believe I was disabled and I couldn’t get proof without them wanting to assign a counselor and them wanting to thrust me into the working world anyway (which was the whole reason I mentioned I was autistic, because I need fucking help?) and little things like “You’re too sensitive, just deal with it.”

Ask questions. Look up resources. Not just for autism, but for anything related to mental health or physical health. Ableism is rampant in able-bodied people too. My brother in law is in a wheelchair and faces quite a bit of ableism himself.

All this being said, please please watch how you talk/interact with people. Much like I need to learn social cues and how to interact with you, You guys need to understand that my personality isn’t going to change. This is literally who I am, and who I always will be, so you have to be patient. You have to recognize that I’m trying, and I’m not perfect.

And most importantly of all I guess, we’re not disabled. We’re different. We think differently, and we act a little off. But we’re not bad people. Not all of us, at least. (There are people who play up the “I’m-disabled-be-nice-to-me card” and they should be held accountable for their horrible actions)

Personally, I’m trying. I’m tired, and exhausted, and lonely. I have next to nobody to rely on, and I know I have a lifetime of learning how to behave better ahead of me, and I’m just tired. but I’m still hanging in there, in the best way I know how: by being me. If I can educate myself and learn about how ableism is a problem, so can you.