#also peas!!!! we had some peas which are a favorite of mine

[neige-leblanche]

i think i might try to plant a garden do you guys support me

[astraule]

“It's You I Love"

Pairing: Louis x Reader TW: Violence, Mark’s leg in season 1, strong language. Y/N: She/Her Ericson kids' reader. Word Count: 1.9 K Summary: You find Marlon with two old friends, Duck and Clem, and immediately burst into tears as you give them a big hug. The next evening, after dinner, Louis suggests a game of War in the courtyard; unfortunately, it quickly turns sour as Clem and Duck get up and leave, just as things are getting a bit touchy-feely. Aasim encourages you to tell Louis how you are really feeling, which results in a light-hearted moment between you and Louis. *Based off a fanart I saw of grown-up Duck, wanted to see what it would be like if he survived and made it to season 4.”

Y/N POV: (Courtyard)

 "He just mentioned that, so you should probably go do it Tenn, it's your shift for keeping watch," I said with a grin before I turned around and caught sight of Marlon and two other figures in the distance. I assumed they were the two individuals they had saved from the wreckage of the car. It was time to go and greet them. As I approached, familiar faces began to come into focus, their features remaining unchanged from the last time our paths crossed. It was as if time had stood still for them, frozen in a moment.

3RD POV:  (Flashback, Season 1 Travelier Motel)

“Come on Y/N, I know you took it, give it back to me” Duck wailed as he accused his sister Y/N of taking his favorite action figure. Of course, this wasn’t an accusation as Y/N had taken his figurine, but she shook her head and refused to mention anything. "Hey guys, can we please not argue? Lee is swamped with work at the moment, so why don't we just focus on coloring and-" Clementine's words were cut short as Duck suddenly pushed Y/N, causing the 9-year-old to burst into tears. The commotion caught the attention of both Lee and Kenny, who quickly rushed over to see what was happening. Kenny's authoritative voice echoed as he questioned the situation, looking at both his children, Duck and Y/N. With silence as the only response, he let out a sigh and gently lifted Y/N, placing her on the table. "Are you okay, Birdie?" he inquired, using her affectionate nickname. Just like Duck, whose real name was Ken Jr., Y/N was also known by her nickname, Birdie.  Lee's gaze shifted towards Clem, contemplating how he could get some answers from her. "Sweet Pea, would you mind elaborating on what transpired? I assure you, none of you are facing any trouble; we simply seek a sincere and truthful explanation."  Duck hung his head low and admitted, "It wasn't Clem's fault, it was mine." The children had grown accustomed to using the nicknames that the adults had given them - Ken Jr. was known as Duck, Y/N as Birdie, and Clementine as Clem.

(Flashback, Season 3 New Frontier)

Y/N's voice echoed through the woods, filled with desperation and anger. She struggled against the hold of David's worker, her eyes fixed on the scene before her. Clem was on the ground, tears streaming down her face as Duck tried to comfort her. The words spilled out of Y/N, a mix of frustration and fear, as she pleaded for them not to take AJ away. The weight of their shared struggle hung heavy in the air. “You’ve been a huge problem yourself, take her away I never want to see her again” David mentioned to his worker as he stepped closer to Y/N. That’s when the panic set in within her. “NO! Please don’t take me away from my family. Please don’t take the last thing that reminds me of my dad.” she said as she sobbed, a cry so terrible like the day at the motel when Duck had pushed her down. That was the last time Y/N saw AJ, Clem, and Duck.

Y/N POV: (Present Time)

Startled by the sight of my friends, I exclaimed, "CLEM?! DUCK!" before rushing towards them and enveloping them in a warm hug. Through tears, I explained how I had searched for them after the incident, only to be surrounded by walkers, forcing me to flee for safety. Both Duck and Clem exclaimed my name in unison as they embraced me tightly, indicating that they had reunited after the events with the New Frontier. As I released them and dried my tears, I inquired, "There was someone else with you two, who was it?" “You might have to see it yourself; it’ll be hard to explain.” Clem chuckled softly as she brushed away her tears. "Looks like you guys are all pretty close," Marlon remarked, a wide grin on his face. "You should go check on the kid, he's with Louis in the music room. I'm sure Y/N can show you the way." A kid?

(Music Room)

 Louis' piano skills always captivated me, and I couldn't deny the feelings I had for him, even though he didn't reciprocate them. His eyes revealed that I was just a friend to him. "Lou, I have visitors," I announced, spotting a child watching him play. "AJ, come say hello." Clem mentioned. AJ... the same cheerful baby who used to cling to me all those days ago. Would he remember me? AJ suddenly spun around and within a split second, he was wrapping his arms around my legs. Overwhelmed with emotion, I dropped to my knees, tears streaming down my face as I embraced him. "When we found him, he kept asking about you. You've clearly made a lasting impression on him. We even showed him pictures of you to keep memories alive... we thought you were gone," Duck revealed as he patted my back. Louis exclaimed, "What a fantastic family gathering this is!" as he gazed at Duck with an unfamiliar expression on his face. Despite the odd look, I brushed it off, feeling grateful that my family had finally arrived. "I'm here to stay, AJ. I'll never leave again," I declared as I rose to my feet and wiped away my tears.

(Courtyard, After Dinner)

Louis declared it was time for an entertaining game of War as he revealed a deck of cards. "You're in for a challenge tonight," I teased, but he just grinned skeptically. "What are the rules?" Clem inquired. "Simple," Violet explained, "each player gets a stack of cards and flips one over. The highest card wins." Louis flashed a grin at Clem before speaking up, "The victor will have the chance to pose a question to either Clem or Duck." Marlon chimed in, "And let's not forget about Y/N, there's more to her than meets the eye." I couldn't help but chuckle at his comment. Duck, ever curious, asked, "What happens if one of us wins?" Louis replied, "In that case, the winner can ask any of us a question," as he began shuffling the deck of cards. As we each drew a card from the deck, it was evident that Clem was the clear winner. "What's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten?" she inquired. The answer came easily for the three of us after mistakenly consuming a piece of our group member's leg. Violet, Marlon, and Louis shared their experiences, but none could compare to the revulsion of ours. The moment they learned the truth, they were all visibly taken aback. Louis emerged as the victor, and without hesitation, he inquired of Clem, "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" I had anticipated this question, so why did it catch me off guard? I slumped my head in disappointment on Duck's shoulder, and to my surprise, he didn't pull away. There was something changed about my brother; perhaps it was the realization that he had believed me to be dead for a year. Our sibling dynamic seemed more subdued, and I could sense that our disagreements would be far less frequent. It was then that I noticed the same expression on Louis' face as he gazed at Duck earlier. Marlon emerged victorious this time, taking a moment to ponder his question before speaking. "You three couldn't have been on your own all this time. Who looked after you? Family? Anyone?" The room fell into a heavy silence as we all reflected on the past. Knowing that neither Duck nor Clem wanted to respond, I decided to speak up. "We had two main caretakers, Lee, a close friend, and Kenny, my father." Louis continued his winning streak by securing one last victory before hesitating to ask a rather serious question. "Just spit it out," Violet remarked, rolling her eyes. "It's not a lighthearted question, but have you ever been in a situation where you had to harm someone you cared about?" Louis eventually inquired. The silence that followed was not only audible but palpable. "Yes," Clem responded. "Please, continue," Louis urged, attempting to extract more information. "It was a simple yes or no question." “I think we’re done playing tonight.” Duck declared, giving Louis a stern look before leading the way back inside with Clem following closely. Louis, feeling guilty, turned to Violet and mentioned that she had wanted him to ask. I let out a sigh and made a move to leave as well, telling Louis to just forget about it. He nodded in understanding, dropping his head in defeat. Marlon then reassured Louis, expressing his hope that Louis would inform the others that there was no ill intent. He ended on a positive note, suggesting a potential long-term plan for Clem, AJ, and Duck to stay and leaving me feeling relieved that my family was back for good.

(Forest Hunting)

Louis pleaded, his puppy-dog eyes trying to melt my anger away. Sure, he was cute, but his attempts to smooth things over with just an apology weren't going to cut it this time. Especially after him flirting with Clem the night before. Aasim trudged deeper into the woods, clearly fed up with the situation. "This is so embarrassing, just admit your feelings for him already, Y/N, so we can put an end to his annoying pleading," he muttered under his breath. Suddenly, Louis turned to me with a puzzled expression, demanding, "What is he talking about, Y/N?" His face twisted in a mix of surprise and probably disapproval.

Louis POV:

Shock coursed through me as I realized the girl I had fallen for a year ago actually loved me back. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions until Y/N's tears brought everything to a halt. It pained me to see her beautiful face contorted in sadness, someone I cared for deeply. "Why... Why are you crying? Let's go back to school and discuss this," I urged, desperate to understand her tears.

(Courtyard)

 As I held Y/N in my arms, I attempted to console her by expressing my regret for causing any pain. I mentioned my misunderstanding about her feelings towards Duck, assuming she had a romantic history that was still affecting her. I apologized for my actions with Clementine, hoping to alleviate her distress and prevent any further tears from falling. Our conversation took place in a moment of vulnerability, seeking to mend any hurt feelings and reassure her of my intentions. Y/N finally managed to speak through her sniffles, revealing that Duck was actually her brother. The revelation brought a sense of relief, but also confusion. "Your brother? Why didn't you mention it earlier?" I asked, feeling a bit foolish for not realizing sooner. Y/N explained, "I mean, we do look quite similar." As she wiped her nose, I couldn't help but notice the striking resemblance between the two siblings. It was a moment of realization that brought everything into perspective. At that moment, a smile spread across my face, and I made the spontaneous decision to draw her close for a kiss. We lingered in that embrace for a while before parting, and I couldn't help but playfully tease her with the words, "you silly girl, my silly girl."

Clem POV:

“That stupid Louis he better treat my little sister with good care” Duck said as he watched Louis and Y/N from a distance. “Alright that’s enough. Stop spying on them, it’s creepy.” I mentioned. “Maybe I should’ve mentioned that I didn’t like women from the beginning,” Duck said. “It would’ve been a better idea to just tell them Y/N was your sister, not just that you’re gay Duck.” I said before stepping away.

I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I loved making it, if you see any mistake in my writing, please let me know, I would love to receive feedback as quite I'm new to this. I hope you guys don't mind the difference in fanfics I write, I like to write about the things I'm interested in.

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: conarcoin

today's interviewee is conarcoin, runner in the 2020 MCYTblr elections, founder of gay castle, mod on the mcytblr-confessions blog, and MCYTblr veteran! below is a transcript of the questions and answers.

Q: You’ve been in MCYTblr for a long time, and participated in a lot of MCYTblr events, so let’s work our way through them. Can you tell me a bit about what 2020-2021 MCYTblr was like for you, or anything that immediately comes to mind when you think of it?

A: 2020-2021 MCYTblr was a shithole, but it was a shithole I made some really good friends in and I don't regret that period at all. I regret some stupid posts I made, sure, but overall? Nah. 2020 MCYTblr was always filled with drama as it was a transitional period - it was primarily made up of what we now call "truthers" and the scattered remnants of SMPblr, and that sort of caused a culture clash. I'm immediately reminded of the time I got into a huge drama for having the url "transtubbo" in 2020, which one ex-SMPblr user was not fond of. Also a lot of posts made by straight up weirdos like that one infamous "sex god whore" post.

(the url "transtubbo" was not a truthing thing, but a DSMP thing, but this was a time when truthers were still everywhere in MCYTblr and the divide between RP and real life wasn't as clear, which is how I ended up in hot water)

Q: I understand that you started and ran the “gay castle” discord server. Why was it created? What was your experience running it?

A: Gay Castle's still alive and well after 3 years. Me and a friend made the server in September 2020 due to being tired of the drama in another server we were in called Sleepyheads. It's a personal friend server, so we just invited people we thought were chill to hang out and have some laughs. I honestly would call Gay Castle my internet family, they're a wild bunch and we've had so many great times over the past 3 years.

Q: What was it like running the mcytblr-confessions blog? Do any confessions stand out to you from memory?

A: mcytblr-confessions is the child of me and like 10 or so other members of Gay Castle. The experience is mostly mundane, just queueing and deleting asks. We do get a lot of asks that get deleted due to breaking the rules and such, but it hasn't been particularly drama-filled or anything. There's way too many confessions that stand out to me, but personal favorites of mine will always include the Foolish peas anon, the Highcraft church anon, and the one about AustinShow calling anon Greg instead of their actual name.

Q: If my memory serves, you ran in the October 2020 MCYTblr elections. Who did you run as? What was your experience being a part of it?

A: I did, alongside a friend at the time who went by Fakenoblade. I don't remember too many details from that period of time. We ran as "Potato2020" and didn't get very far but we had fun. Cecilia (bless her heart, we're still mutuals even though we don't talk often) can do a really good Technoblade impression, so in call we had her say some funny lines that we edited into a promotional campaign video. Fun stuff.

Q: Are there any other events that stand out to you?

A: The day a bunch of content creators joined in 2021, mostly smaller ones. That was around the same time I became friends with Erin (@itselectralive), who is still one of my closest friends to this day and an absolute sweetheart. She got me onto a SMP she helped run called Balls SMP, which crashed and burned, but I had fun and met some cool people.

Q: Do you remember any of the main discourses/dramas that went through the community?

A: Apologist discourse, obviously. I didn't engage with it - I honestly didn't care for either c!Tommy or c!Dream - but it's hard to avoid it. Shipping discourse and boundary discourse. Honestly, I can't remember anything more specific besides the more general dramas.

Q: What do you remember most fondly from that time?

A: Honestly? Just early Gay Castle and also liveblogging the L'Manberg Election. That night was so much fun, one of the most vivid memories of that time period I have.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like to add?

A: You guys should watch SMPLive. Not really, it's aged like piss and several creators ended up being freaks but it's still got a lot of funny jokes and interesting lore (believe it or not). From what I have seen, its fandom is the root of a lot of MCYT fandom's most obnoxious behaviors, but the people who are left and still care about it are really cool. It turned 5 this month!

[nyrarachelle-plays]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

I'm EXTREMELY late and I'm so sorry!!!! Thank you so much for wanting to know more about a favorite sim of mine, because I adore so many of yours! (You killed the BHMCAS challenge!!!!!)

Since I just did Krystle Dyson, let's give her little sister, Tiffani Dyson, some shine (we're playing catchup in the gameplay updates, I promise I'm not ignoring her lol)!

(1) I have no reason to believe this, but I feel like she and her sister have Jamaican (Sulanian by default lol) roots. I always make them cook island inspired dishes (lmboo Grannies Cookbook never should've given me rice and peas with plantain & oxtail AND beef patty with coco bread, pls.)! Since they would've been babies at the time their family would've been cooking like this, their friend Tamara Franklin, who I also assume is Jamaican lmbo, taught them!

(2) Tiffani was supposed to be giving Black Girl Luxury/Soft Girl, before we even had a name for it. I wanted her to enjoy her life and her sought-after riches--mainly in contrast to her more tightly-wound older sister. She could have fun!!

(3) She enjoys getting her sister riled up, by just living her life! She lets her calm down soon after, but she knows by this point that Krystle's love is truly unconditional for her. She can do no wrong in her eyes! Still, they KEEP a "Smooth Apology" as a suggested point of conversation between them (LMBO)!

(4) Tiffani started off with the Party-Animal aspiration, which soon turned into the Serial Romantic aspiration, which soon turned into her struggling to be sat down by multiple pregnancies (lolll)!

(5) Tiffani Dyson has a personal stylist, who yall know as Krystle Dyson. This is how Krystle got put on in the first place, as a celebrity stylist and simtuber. To this day, I like to think her looks are carefully curated by her sister, even as her sole client!

[boriys-a]

It sounded fun, going to concerts and being surrounded by people who enjoyed the same music, where they were able to discuss their favorite songs and the meanings of them and which ones deserved more popularity. Not only would it be cool to see a famous band playing live, it also seemed like a good chance to meet some new people and make new friends. Listening to Eddie describe his first concert experience and imagining how happy he must have been to get the tickets for Christmas brought a smile to Boris’ face. He was only just getting to know the guy, but it at least sounded like he had a decent relationship with his uncle.

The comment about popping his cherry (in terms of concerts, at least) elicited sudden and amused laughter from Boris, who companionably shouldered Eddie. ❝Hah! Audacious, you. This summer?❞ He wondered aloud, curious as to whether or not any bands would be playing nearby anytime soon. The idea of going to a concert since moving here hadn’t even crossed his mind (mostly because he wasn’t the type to plan ahead for anything) so it wasn’t something he’d been watching for. ❝Maybe I can go to one of yours! Well, not so much a concert, but close enough, eh? In front of five people or hundreds or thousands - is still performing,❞ he spoke, eyes following Eddie’s movements as he stepped closer to him and leaned in to take a look at the cut on his bottom lip. ❝Like I said, done bleeding, almost!❞ He grinned, setting the bag of peas and the cloth aside since he figured he wouldn’t be needing them anymore.

At the fridge, Boris peeked over Eddie’s shoulder to see what he had inside of it. His own fridge was mostly empty, save for a seemingly endless supply of beer. The vodka, on the other hand, was typically kept in the freezer. ❝You have the good stuff! When I lived in New Guinea, see, we had a bad flood. All sorts of things floating up into the yard. Snakes and unexploded mine shells from Second World War - very dangerous - and all our water went bad. Drinking it would give you Typhus. Fever, headache, vomiting…can eventually kill you if left untreated. Anyway - for three weeks, nothing to drink but beer! Very bad tasting, local beer in New Guinea. Had a headache the entire time. This stuff is much better.❞

⛧˖ ‒‒‒‒‒ IT WAS INSTANTANEOUS; AFTER SEEING HIS first show and experiencing the unparalleled thrill of live music, Eddie Munson knew, with utter and exhaustive certainty, that he would never be able to live without it again. Quite literally, it had changed his life. MAYBE EVEN SAVED IT. The physical sensation of heavy beats pulsing through his body and the magnetic energy that had flowed from the stage that night had been nothing short of magical, and it had sparked the first genuine dream he’d ever had. He remembered all of it as though it had only happened yesterday, but just as well, he could remember a time before that when his begging and pleading for tickets had fallen on deaf ears.

            ❝ Sorry. Didn’t mean to look at you like you had two heads, ❞ Eddie commented with the faint crack of laughter after he’d noticed the vague furrow of the other boy’s brow. His own grin never wavered, however. ❝ I just, yeah, no—that makes sense. There probably aren’t a lot of bands signing up to play concerts under rocks, ❞ he jested playfully. ❝ But, uh, lets see... I guess I didn’t see my first real concert until I was… ❞ One of his eyes closed and the bridge of his nose became scrunched with concentration as he tried to make an accurate calculation, ring-clad fingers wiggling while he counted. ❝ Fourteen? Fifteen? Somethin’ like that. My uncle took me to see Black Sabbath. Gave me the tickets as an early Christmas present that year. ❞ The memory made his chest swell with warmth; the tickets ( THAT HE REALLY COULDN'T AFFORD ) stuck to the fridge with a bow and the drive down to Indianapolis in the snow. His mother had died before he was old enough to take an interest, and his father, well…

            EDDIE WAS JUST GRATEFUL TO HAVE WAYNE IN HIS LIFE.

            Brown eyes shifted down towards the boy’s bleeding lip. It seemed as though it was on the mend, but he wasn’t about to kick him out prematurely. In fact, he was happy to allow him to use his trailer as a sanctuary for the night if he wanted to stick around. Besides the fact that his company was surprisingly pleasant, morally he couldn’t stand behind sending a bleeding, friendless, newcomer out INTO THE FRAY in the middle of the night.

            ❝ I basically decided that night that I was going to start a band, ❞ Eddie continued, speaking while he’d leaned in a little with the dip of his head to get a better look at Boris lip. ❝ But, uh, don’t worry. We’ve got all summer to pop your cherry and start your spiritual awakening. It’s never too late. ❞ He flashed a wide, dimpled grin as he pulled away, footsteps carrying him towards the fridge. If he wasn’t going to go back to bed, then he figured he’d might as well commit to the grind with a beer.

[peculiarpatches]

𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒏 ; 𝒑𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒓. (1)

[IT'S FINALLY HERE~!!!! PART ONE OF FIVE; READY TO RUN. I want to give a huge shout-out to my bestest friend in the entire world,@holyhex for helping me with this story and even writing some of the parts for me. I also want to give another shout out to another dear friend of mine,@tinylizards for helping me with some of the dialogue.

I appreciate the holy ever living hell out of both these gals and they mean the world to me and this story wouldn't be what it is without them. So, shout out to them! And I hope you all enjoy it and do let me know what you think! Happy reading!!]

SUMMARY: Things get a little complicated when Peter Parker and (Y/N) decide to start fake dating each other... Neither one of them could have seen an ending like this coming.

"Can you repeat that?" (Y/N) asked with a nervous giggle. He didn't need to repeat himself, that's the sad bit.

(Y/N) heard him loud and clear.

As soon as the question had been asked, her heart shattered and tears stung her eyes but she put on an act, as she always did, as she always would.

(Y/N)'s best friend, Peter Parker, mutters a few curse words under his breath and she can see him clearly as if he was sitting right next to her. In reality, he lived a few streets down and they weren't anywhere close at all to the other person.

The two were best friends and knew plenty of the other person's reactions and body language. They were inseparable, two peas in a pod, if you will.

More than likely, right now his face was the same exact shade as the bubblegum wrapper that lay next to her on her desk.

He was probably pulling on his hair as stress and anxiety bubbled in the pit of his stomach.

Peter's lower lip would be tugged between his bottom teeth as he'd pinch the bridge of his nose, annoyance clearly written across his facial features. She can see it - she knows he's doing it right now.

That's why it takes him a few minutes to reply.

"C'mon..... Just for one weekend, pretend we're dating, please?" He asked.

"You trust me, right?" He continued, filling up the awkward silence that hung heavily in the air.

(Y/N) sighed and looked down, a tear rolling down her cheek as she bit back a sob which was desperate to escape from the back of her throat.

"Sure." She answered finally.

"What's in it for me, though, Parker?"

"You get to date me." He answered in a 'duh' tone. She flushed with heat, rolling her eyes at his joke. If only he knew...

"Kidding! Of course... obviously. I'll do all of your assignments and homework for the rest of the semester and I'll throw in a free pizza . I'll pay. You can even choose what kind and the dessert, too. Then, we can go to our favorite place."

The heat continues to build, pouring in on her cheeks, spreading throughout her body like a fire.

Our place.

Can you believe that?

No, seriously.

(Y/N) (L/N) and Peter Parker had a place. A hidden getaway, one that only they knew about.

Surely, more people possibly knew about it but... they liked to pretend only they were the ones who found it. It was in Central Park. Back behind the playgrounds and pathways for those who take their daily jogs or walks in the park, there was a hidden garden.

A stone bench in the middle of the area with thousands upon thousands of delicate, fragile flowers blossoming.

When Peter and (Y/N) first discovered the place, the flowers were dying, it was as if those who had planted them there were merely forgotten. So, (Y/N) and Peter decided to go there together, any chance they had, to water the plants and even feed the ducks that'd wander through. They'd always go there to talk about anything or nothing in particular.

It was something out of a cheesy movie. And if this life were a movie, Peter would confess his undying love for (Y/N) at the garden and with happy tears rolling down her cheeks, (Y/N) would admit she's had those feelings all along too and they'd kiss each other with so much passion and so much lust -- they both would feel electricity bolting through their system and through their veins. Of course, they weren't two main characters in a movie... This was real life.

And.... with that being said, Peter didn't want (Y/N). He wanted MJ.

"(Y/N)? Hello? Are you still there?" "Yes.. yeah, I'm still here..." She muttered. "So....?" "Fine, okay? Fine, I'll be your temporary girlfriend. I'm not in theater for nothing, that's for sure... I think I can put on an act." "Great! Fantastic! Thank you so much, (Y/N)! I love you! I owe you big time." 'I love you.' She scoffed and rolled her eyes as she hung up the phone. Sure, he loves her but... not in that way. Not in the way she wanted him to love her.

The dates weren’t much different than the two of them were used to. Everyone knew the pair as those of a pod. Still, the heat rushed to (Y/N)’s cheek with any small interaction. “Sorry, MJ.” Peter faked a frown, “I promised (Y/N) I would be her lab partner for the week.”

Michelle was good at hiding her feelings, instead of her face faltering she nodded, and waited until she got to her seat before her smile fell.

Peter turned towards (Y/N) instantly, causing her to almost spill the liquid in her hand.

“Peter!” She groaned jokingly, but he didn’t notice.

"Are you trying to give me a chemical burn or something!? Have me out here, looking like Freddy Krueger or something." She said, giggling as she shook her head.

“Did you see? Her face fell as soon as she had to partner with Flash– do you think she likes me?”

Biting the inside of her lip, she nodded, “Could. Or maybe she just isn’t crazy about being stuck with Flash for the next week.”

Was it rude to crush Peter’s dreams? Maybe, but (Y/N) didn’t care.

The only reason she agreed to the plan in the first place was so maybe, just maybe, Peter would see what he was missing, what he needed all along. Y/N.

At first, it was hard. Peter wouldn’t touch her like a boyfriend was supposed to, but the more dates the two arranged the more comfortable he became. Calling her cute nicknames every time he could, holding doors open for her, locking hands while they walked to their ‘fake dates’.

It was almost as if the two of them had forgotten their idea altogether.

As they continued to act their parts and play pretend, (Y/N)'s feelings for the boy only blossomed.

She couldn't help it.

She also didn't no how much longer she could take at playing a fraud and putting on an act when all she wanted was to REALLY be his girlfriend.

This particular date they were going on was made immediately after school.

Peter insisted he had somewhere to be, so instead of eating at the diner and heading off to their special place, he slipped her a twenty dollar bill and promised he would meet her there.

A double cheeseburger meal, a family size order of fries, and a pair of strawberry milkshakes.

The two of them ate like gluttons. Not eating much for lunch, (Y/N) was excited to get there and tell Peter about the hell of a day she had, not knowing as she turned the corner, it would get much worse. As she made her way through the park and down the narrow, zig-zag passageways, she stopped, as did the beating of her heart.

Standing in front of her was the one thing she was afraid of.

Peter and MJ.

Wiping a half smile onto her face as a tear escaped, she muttered an apology.

“Oh, my bad. I didn’t realize you two were-” A voice crack, loud enough for everyone in the park to hear, caused Peter to turn his attention to (Y/N) immediately, but it wasn’t enough.

She already had her back turned, trying to stop herself from throwing the bag of food right in his stupid face. "I'll just... I'll leave." Her vision already becoming blurry with tears as she slipped through the trees.

"Wait! Don't go, (Y/N)! Listen-"

(Y/N) spun around, mascara tears painting her cheeks black; she knew she looked horrid.

Didn't need a mirror to see that.

She could see it crystal clear without one.

Her hair was even tangled up with leaves and tiny twigs as she had to zig-zag her way through bushes and trees to make her way over to the designated area.

A smile she had been wearing all day fell into a frown within a matter of seconds at the scene that played out in front of her.

Peter was with MJ.

Which, yeah... it makes sense.

Peter's plan to get with MJ worked. He told her a few days ago that it worked and as he babbled on and on, gushing about his excitement, (Y/N) toned him out and forced a fake smile, mumbling how happy she was for him and how he deserved to be happy.

It was a success.

Peter Parker was now dating Michelle Jones and Michelle Jones now was dating Peter Parker.

(Y/N) wasn't surprised to find them together. They were always together.

Just like how she and Peter were always together.

Until he decided he no longer wanted her around.

No longer needed her around.

And this proved that.

Peter, after weeks of not answering her calls or replying back to her text messages, had made plans.

"Hey, (Y/N)! Sorry I've been so busy. I promise I'll make it up to you.

Especially with everything that's happened in such a short span of time. I owe you.

Meet me at our place? Around noon-ish?"

And, being the dumb, silly girl she was, (Y/N) agreed.

She was happy for Peter, honest.

She was happy for Michelle, really.

It's just.... she sometimes wished she was the one holding his hand, kissing him, making him laugh, being the reason for the smile that played out across his lips.

(Y/N) just wished she was the one Peter was in love with.

At least, he still cared, right?

The text message proved he still thought about her and still wanted her around as a friend.

(Y/N), other than Ned, was his best friend.

Standing where she had been and seeing Peter and MJ in front of her crushed what little hope she had been holding onto.

He didn't care.

Since when did he stop?

When did (Y/N), the one person he couldn't live without, became the person he could so easily ditch and throw aside as if she were nothing but trash?

A twig beneath her had snapped and caused Peter and MJ to glance up, Peter's smile matching with her own as it fell into a frown.

He instantly got up on his feet, dropping MJ's hand as he stood.

"(Y/N), hey, wait a minute, it isn't what it looks like-"

She shook her head, scoffing as she turned around, dropping the food she had brought for them to share.

(Y/N) knew better than to be a litterbug but she couldn't help the emotions that overwhelmed her.

(Y/N) also knew MJ would pick it up, as she and (Y/N) would spend their free time on the weekends, cleaning up the park and streets of trash within their path.

It wouldn’t go just lying there, luckily. And she knew that.

Still felt awful for being hypocritical and dumping trash at her feet as she ran out but… she was too stressed by other emotions as is.

(Y/N) couldn’t see where she was going as tears burned her vision as she turned around and walked out the way she had entered, ignoring Peter's pleas and the footsteps that followed after her.

"(Y/N)! Please."

And that's where they were at now.

Tear stained cheeks with makeup running down her skin while her eyes grew red and puffy as she let out all of the anger, despair, disappointment and sadness out of her.

She was surprised she found herself crying, truth be told. She had done so much previously, she was shocked she hadn't run out of tears.

"Peter.... I can't do this." She said weakly, voice cracking as she spoke.

"I know you're upset. Just hear me out for a second, alright?"

(Y/N) interrupted his sentence by motioning him to stop with a wave of her hand.

"Peter, don't.. I don't want to hear it. I'm done. Do you hear me?

I. Am. Done.

I'm done, feeling used by you.

I'm done, feeling as if I'm nothing to you.

I give up.

I have nothing against you and MJ dating, I really don't.... I'm happy to see both of you so happy.

All I wanted was my best friend back.

And I thought this was going to be one of those days where we caught back up and regained that friendship we've had.

I can see now I was wrong. You took her to all the places we used to go. Even our special place.

That was ours, Peter.

That was the last thing we had that was special to me and you brought her...

I understand she's your girlfriend and I'm acting like a jealous best friend but that's because I am, alright? I'll confess. I'll admit it.” She took a deep, shaky breath. Words and words that she had been bottling up for years finally breaking, being talked about.

Whether or not she liked to admit the next sentence, it didn’t matter. She said it so she could be done with it and move on.

“I'm jealous.” She bit her lip and continued, voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you, Peter. I always have. And I'm not going to stand in the way of you, being happy or MJ's happiness, either.

So, we're done.

This can be you and hers spot from now on. I'll just go. Thanks for all the memories, and thanks for being the greatest best friend I could ever ask for, hell, thanks for being the best fake boyfriend I’ve ever had too…

“You know, those dates, whether they were us, playing pretend, actually meant a lot to me. I had never been out on a date up until then. They were fun… I just… I wish they were real, and I shouldn’t have agreed to them, to being your fake girlfriend or the whole dating scheme because… well.. I can't do this.

“Fuck… I love the both of you too much to ruin anything, to ruin everything. You and MJ deserve better than a shitty friend like me.

"And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything if I’ve already ruined it all. I guess it doesn’t matter since I’m leaving from here on out. But still.. I’m sorry, Peter and tell MJ I’m sorry too. You both are really lucky to have each other. Bye, Peter.”

Peter had to have a moment or two to have everything (Y/N) just said register in his mind but by the time he had, (Y/N) had already walked away, and out of his life.

Maybe (Y/N) was delusional for thinking their friendship would blossom into the ending of a lifetime movie, but it still didn’t stop the tears streaming down her face.

The pain she was feeling was unbearable, but no matter how out of breath she was in between sobs, she still couldn’t stop running.

Passing the subway, the diner she and Peter used to hang out after school, and numerous people stopping to ask if she was alright, she finally made it into her and her fathers one bedroom apartment, slamming the door behind her.

“Hi, hon! I made–” another slam of a door, causing the pictures on the wall to shake, “---dinner.”

(Y/N)’s dad sighed, knowing that one day she would come through the door over that boy, not exactly sure on what to do or how to fix her broken heart.

Instead of barging in, he decided to leave her dinner in front of her bedroom door, and slid a note underneath indicating he had done so.

Within minutes of her laying in agony, she began to slip into a peaceful slumber. The last thing on her mind was Peter.

Softly, she mumbled something almost incoherent, “ Why couldn't I be the one he fell for... Why couldn't I be the one he actually was in love with...? I just... I wish, more than anything else, I was the one that could be with Peter Parker.”

She should have been more careful with what she wished for...

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Three (Harry Styles)

a/n: part 3 wohoo! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, it keeps me going and writing more and more! originally i thought it would turn out to be about three parts, but it has outgrown that limit so i added two more parts to the masterpost, that’s for sure is gonna happen but i might even add more?! not sure, im still in the writing process so i can’t tell how long it’s going to turn out to be, but this just means even more content for you guys!

as always, feedback is very much appreciated, please make sure to share your thoughts and comments on the part, it’s such a huge boost for writers to read what you thought!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

When you were working at the daycare you couldn’t focus on photography as much as you would have liked to. You often had to stay in for extra hours, wait until the last kid was picked up and then do paperwork, or change the decoration in your room or whatever Clair asked you to do that day. By the time you got home you just wanted to take a bath and fall into bed. You also had to travel 40 minutes to work which took away a lot of time from your day.

Working for Harry helped you immensely with focusing more on your passion. Even on his worse days he got home by six and since your workplace is your home, you don’t even have to drive forty minutes to enjoy the comfort of your home, you just walk up the stairs to your room and that’s it.

In addition, taking care of Izzy, you still have the chance to work on some editing or snap new pictures. You have time off when she has her classes and when you put her down for her nap. The best thing is that Izzy is quite interested in photography, she gets very interested whenever she sees you bring out one of your cameras and she always lets you take pictures of her, posing and goofing around. The folder on your computer that has her name is growing each day with more and more sweet photos of the little girl that has completely stolen your heart. You’ve been regularly getting your favorites shots of her printed and you always leave them on Harry’s desk so when he gets home he sees them and they make him forget about whatever happened at work that day.

You are getting more and more emails about possible sessions and slowly but surely, your weekends start to fill up with weddings, birthday parties and engagement photoshoots. It seems like you have definitely made the right choice when you took this job. No doubts.

“Can I ask a question, daddy?” Izzy is poking the peas around on her plate as the four of you sit at the dining table at dinner. Ruth has joined you today, because Harry had to make a quick trip to his office in the afternoon and you were out shopping with Trevor today.

“Sure, baby,” Harry hums nodding.

“Why don’t you eat meat?” she asks seriously, eyeing her own plate that has some chicken on it, while Harry’s is only stacked with veggies and potatoes.

“Because I decided that I won’t want to.”

“Can I decide that too?”

“You’re a little too young for that, baby. You need the meat to grow big. When you’re older you can think about what kind of things you want to and don’t want to eat.”

“Okay,” she nods without throwing a tantrum about her dad telling her no. You know quite a few kids who would have flipped over it, but not Izzy. Harry might not even realize how good of a job he is doing raising her and teaching her how to be a good human.

“I have another question,” she announces, glancing up at Harry.

“Go ahead.”

“If you don’t eat meat, does that make you an herbivore?”

You can’t push down a chuckle, you were not expecting this. Your eyes meet Ruth’s over the table, she is enjoying this conversation just as much as you do. It’s cute how Izzy put two and two together and made a seemingly logical conclusion.

“We learned about herbivore dinosaurs this week,” you inform Harry, who is a little lost about why his daughter just called him an herbivore. Also, you’re quite impressed that she remembered the word, though she struggled with it at first, but it seems like it finally stuck.

Harry shakes his head chuckling as he sets his fork down, looking over at Izzy.

“In a way I should be called an herbivore, but that’s not what you call people who don’t eat meat. I’m a vegetarian.”

“Oh, okay,” she nods, wrapping up the information in her head as she keeps eating.

You and Ruth clean up after dinner while Harry gives Izzy a bath, a little earlier than usually, because she spilled apple juice on herself, so he decided to just go straight for the bath instead of changing once more before bedtime.

“Will you be fine with putting these away, Darling?” Ruth asks as you’re drying the last few dishes.

“Sure! I’ll take care of it,” you smile back at her as she nods and heads into the living room.

Harry emerges from upstairs with a freshly cleaned Izzy on his arms. As soon as her little feet touch the floor she bolts over to join Ruth in front of the TV while Harry walks into the kitchen just as you put the last dish away.

“Hey, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he starts and suddenly, you feel your stomach drop, especially because his face seems very serious.

“Oh God, what did I do?” you ask, feeling yourself panicking already.

“Nothing! It’s not like that!” he chuckles softly, realizing you kind of misunderstood the situation.

“Okay, good. Sorry, you just looked so serious.”

“Sorry, I was just… thinking. So two friends of mine that I work together with also are getting married soon. They had a photographer booked already, but the guy cancelled on them and, um, I hope you don’t mind, but I recommended you to them.”

“Really?” you ask in complete surprise.

“Yeah. Actually, they saw a picture of Izzy that you took in my office and we started talking about how you do photoshoots in your free time and then I told them to ask if you’d be up to do their wedding as well.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of you, Harry. Thank you!”

“I gave them your number, they’ll probably call you sometime next week or so.”

“Great!” you beam, excited about the new event you can work at. “I hope they’ll want to work with me.”

“I kind of hyped you up for them and they seemed very pleased with the pictures I showed them, so I’m sure they will want to,” Harry chuckles softly, even blushing a little. It always amazes you how a tall, muscular guy with so many tattoos can be such a soft, caring and loving person. It always reminds you not to judge the book by its cover.

“Thank you, Harry. This means a lot to me.” Reaching over you place your hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze before moving past him to join Ruth and Izzy in the living room.

Harry was right about Sarah and Mitch being all excited to get in contact with you, because they don’t even wait for the next week to reach out. Sunday afternoon you are working on some more editing at the dining table while Harry and Izzy are painting on the other end of the table, busy with their masterpieces when your phone starts ringing, an unknown number shown on the screen.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answer it, leaning back in your seat.

“Y/N, hi! My name is Sarah Jones, I hope I’m not calling at a bad time, Harry gave me your number this week.”

“Oh! Sarah, yeah! So nice to talk to you!” you beam and Harry’s eyes snap up to you at the mentioning of the familiar name. “Harry mentioned you’d reach out and don’t worry, I’m happy to chat.”

“That’s great. I wanted to wait until Monday, but truth is that we are kind of in a short of time and I was afraid you’d be already busy for our date, so I wanted to call you as soon as possible.”

“No worries.”

“So first and foremost, I’m gonna ask if you have anything planned on the last weekend of May. I know it’s just in a few weeks, but I really hope we can work it out.”

“Let me pull up my calendar,” you tell her as you open up the app on your computer that you use to keep track with your sessions and events. Finding the weekend in question in it, you smile at the empty space. “Good news, seems like I’m free that weekend.”

“Oh thank God!” she breathes out in relief and you let out a chuckle. “That’s so amazing. So then would it be possible to meet up sometime next week? You could show some more works of yours and we can discuss more details, how does that sound?”

“This week? Well I have to work—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“Come into the office tomorrow morning.” “What?”

“Put her on speaker,” he smiles nodding towards your phone and you do as he asked, setting it to the table with Sarah on speaker. “Hey Sarah!”

“Harry, hi!”

“Aunt Sarah?” Izzy’s ears perk up, some pink paint on her cheeks that you have no idea how it got there, because her painting doesn’t even have any pink in it.

“Hi Izzy! So good to hear your voice!” she chuckles through the phone.

“Sarah, you’re gonna be at the studio Monday morning, right?” Harry asks and you can’t not notice how his voice changed the slightest bit as soon as he started talking about business.

“Yeah and Mitch is coming too,” she confirms.

“Okay then how about you come in tomorrow morning, Y/N?”

“But what about Izzy?”

“She can come too. I’ll look after her while you discuss the details, it’s no big deal. It’s been a while since the last time she came to work with me,” he smirks over at the little girl, who is already excited to spend some more time with her daddy at his workplace.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling.

“Thank you, well then I’m okay with tomorrow if it’s fine for you as well, Sarah.”

“That would be perfect! Thank you guys both, Mitch and I really appreciate it.”

“No worries,” Harry nods, going back to his painting. You take Sarah off the phone as you say your goodbye before ending the call.

You start Monday off with some extra excitement. Not just because you are about to get booked for another event, but also because it’s going to be the first time you see Harry at his workplace. He has been quite good at keeping his business separated from his private life, it never really happens that you catch him dwell about anything work related whenever he is home and around Izzy. The phone call with Sarah was like a tiny glimpse of what he might be like when he is in work mode and you’re kind of curious to see more of this side of him.

Just as usual, Harry takes care of Izzy in the morning while you get ready on your own. You want to look good, not only are you going to meet more of his friends, but people he works with. Or should you say, people who work for him.

You choose a light pink dress, throwing a white knitted sweater over your shoulders with a pair of ballerinas. After putting on some light makeup and grabbing your purse and laptop you head downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. Izzy is already sitting at the table, still in her pajamas since her and food are a dangerous combination and Harry always makes sure to get her dressed once she is away from all of that.

“You look so pretty, Y/N!” she beams, her legs dangling from the chair as she digs into her oatmeal. Harry appears from the kitchen and he has the same look on his face like when he saw you leave for that wedding a while ago. A blush paints his cheeks as he slows his steps down, his eyes running down on the length of your body before they return to your face.

“Izzy is right, you look… really pretty, Y/N,” he compliments into your face, unlike last time when you only heard him call you pretty when he thought you were long gone.

“Thank you,” you breathe out with a soft chuckle.

The morning carries on as usual, Harry dresses Izzy for the day and then you all head out, however you stop short upon seeing the various cars parked on the driveway and the double garage.

“Maybe take the Rover, it’s got the child seat in it and I’ll take the Jaguar today,” Harry suggests as he hands you over the keys to the Rover and then nears the car he is taking for the day.

“Oh yeah, you just take the Jaguar, boss,” you chuckle under your breath, finding it a little funny that deciding on which car you’re taking for the day is even a question in someone else’s life.

Izzy sings along the radio as you follow Harry’s car into the label’s building. Of course, it’s not just some simple office building, it’s situated in the riches area of the city and the building is massive with loads of floors and a huge HES Records sign above the entrance where you meet Harry after parking down.

“Good morning, Mr. Styles! Hello, Izzy!” the woman behind the front desk smiles widely immediately, standing up from her chair to hand Harry a stack of envelopes. “Your post, sir.”

“Thank you, Veronica. Have a nice day,” Harry nods in her way as the three of you move through the hall to the elevators. Waiting for it to arrive, you glance at the board on the wall that lists everything you can find in the building and the level you should look for it at. There are endless amount of studios, at least three on each levels, offices, creative rooms and conference rooms. It’s pretty clear that HES Records manages a lot of talents and that requires a lot of space.

Arriving to the twentieth floor, which is of course the top of the building, you are in awe as you realize that the whole floor is basically Harry’s office. There’s a kind of hall area for his two assistants, he has his own conference room, his kitchen and dining area and of course, his office space. The whole place screams power and influence. The modern design of the interior makes it such a fancy work space not just for him, but for everyone else in the building. It’s truly impressive.

“Wow, Harry. This place is… amazing,” you breathe out as he walks the two of you into the conference room where Izzy immediately climbs up to one of the chairs, standing up so she can lean onto the table. Harry walks behind her and adjusts her so she just sits before she could fall off.

“Thank you. I really like this place too. I always thought it’s important to have a great place to work at,” he smiles, clearly proud of how far his business has come. “There’s a mini fridge over there, feel free to take anything you’d like. Sarah texted me on the way here that they’ll be here shortly.”

“Great, thank you,” you nod, taking a seat next to Izzy as you set your laptop up. The glass door of the room opens and one of the assistants peeks inside.

“Mr. Styles, Mrs. Wonstein is on the phone asking for you.”

“Oh, alright, give me a minute and I’ll take it.” The assistant nods and walks out. “Izzy, come with daddy a little, alright? Let Y/N do her thing.” “She can stay, if you want. I can look after her,” you tell him, but he shakes his head as Izzy climbs off the chair and running over to him, she takes his hand.

“No, just focus on this one. I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, Harry,” you smile with gratitude as the two of them walk out, leaving you alone. You start scrolling through your folders, wondering which photos you should show Sarah and Mitch, picking out some of your favorites while you wait for them, though they don’t take too long to arrive. Soon enough the glass door opens and the lovely couple walks in.

“Y/N! Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Sarah greets you, wrapping you in a warm hug before stepping aside.

“Hi, I’m Mitch, nice to meet you,” the groom-to-be smiles shyly as he pulls you in for a short hug as well.

“Good to meet you guys too,” you smile back at them as you all sit to the table.

“Thank you so much for meeting us in such a short notice. Our photographer bailed out on us and I was starting to really worry when Harry mentioned that you are doing this kind of stuff in your free time,” Sarah explains.

“No worries. Would you like to go over some of my previous works?” you offer and they both nod in excitement before you start clicking through some old projects.

They share their vision for the whole wedding and the kind of pictures they would like and you like their approach and feel like it’s right up your alley. They both seem to like what you show them and Sarah compliments on how well you are able to catch small, but important moments.

“The wedding won’t be too big, just friends and family, but we do want a lot of memories, it means a lot to us,” Sarah explains and you nod, noting everything she says.

“Harry said you like this oldschool kind of vibe in your pictures,” Mitch chimes in.

“Oh, yeah. I like to make them look like they weren’t taken on a digital sometimes.”

“Do you think you can make some of those for us as well? Not all of them, just a couple,” Sarah asks.

“Sure! It’s more about the editing process, but it’s totally doable.”

You go over a few more things, making sure you’re on the same page, but you feel like things are working out perfectly. Though you guessed they would be great people, it’s still nice to work with such a nice and professional couple. You’ve had some crazy ones before, they definitely don’t make the job easy on you, but it’s not the case right now.

“Okay, so are you sure the date is okay for you? We wouldn’t want you to cancel on anything you had before just because we are Harry’s friends,” Mitch assures you, but you give them a warm smile.

“I’m totally free, don’t worry. Harry doesn’t have that kind of advantage here,” you chuckle softly.

“Thank you so much in this case. You’re truly a lifesaver,” Sarah breathes out in relief.

“Thank you for the trust. I’m really looking forward to working with you guys!”

Finishing up the meeting you pack up, chatting a little out of the business talk with Sarah and Mitch as you head over to Harry’s office.

“Hey! How did it go?” Harry asks as soon as the three of you walk in. Izzy is sitting at his desk, like a little boss, coloring something as he is sitting on the corner of the desk.

“Amazing, we owe you one for suggesting her,” Sarah sighs and you can’t help but just chuckle at how thankful she really is that you could help them out.

“You owe me no more than just one dance at the wedding,” Harry smiles at her.

“Can I dance too?” Izzy’s head perks up.

“Oh baby, you’re not coming to the wedding. You’ll be staying with Grandma, I already told you.” Izzy pouts at her dad, but she doesn’t seem to mind it that much, she quickly goes back to coloring.

“We’ll dance some other time, okay?” Sarah offers her and she nods happily.

“Can I dance with Uncle Mitch too?” she questions and Mitch just smiles down at her.

“Of course,” he hums, curling an arm around Sarah’s waist. “I have a meeting in ten so I’ll head out, I’m gonna pick James up in the afternoon, alright?” He kisses Sarah’s temple before pulling Harry into a brotherly hug. “Y/N, it was so nice to meet you and thank you for everything again,” he smiles at you, enveloping you in a quick hug as well.

“See you soon,” you smile back before he waves his last goodbye and leaves. “Who’s James?” you ask curiously.

“James is our son. He is turning three this year,” Sarah beams proudly.

“Oh! You two already have a son, that’s great! I’ll make sure to snap a bunch of photos of him too,” you chuckle.

“Please, our house is already packed with pictures, but there’s just never enough,” Sarah laughs.

The three of you chat a little longer while Izzy is busy with her coloring, talking about the wedding and whatnot, Harry invites her and Mitch over for dinner sometime and she happily says yes before business is calling her so she heads out as well.

“Okay, come one, little Sunshine. Let’s get home, Rosaline will be over soon for your piano lesson,” you smile down at Izzy who throws all her coloring stuff into one of Harry’s drawers before hopping off the leather seat.

“I’ll see you in the afternoon, okay?” Harry leans down and kisses the top of her head before pressing his lips to her cheek as well.

“Bye daddy, have a good day!” she calls out, grabbing your hand as you head to the door, Harry following behind.

“Mr. Styles, you have a meeting in five with—“ one of the assistants speaks up, but Harry stops her.

“I know, tell him I’ll be down in a minute. And please call Isaac to remind him about his deadline tomorrow,” he asks in that voice again you heard yesterday when Sarah called. There’s just something so intimidating yet exciting in the way he bosses around, but not like an asshole. He is a man in power, but he surely knows how to use it for the good.

“I forgot to talk to you about the time Izzy is spending at my mum’s, please remind me to go over it with you tonight, alright?” Harry asks and you nod as the elevator’s door opens and the two of you walk in.

“Bye daddy!” Izzy waves at him.

“Bye baby, be good! Bye Y/N!” he smiles as the door starts to close.

“See you later,” you smile back before he disappears from your sight.

The meeting with Sarah and Mitch got you buzzing, because it’s gonna be such an intimate yet beautiful wedding and those are your favorite. You can’t wait to start snapping the pictures and make their memories last forever of their big day.

You want to say thank you to Harry for suggesting you to them, so while Izzy is with Rosaline, you make a quick round to the grocery store and get everything you need to make some cupcakes, knowing well Harry loves those. He once told you that he could easily eat a dozen of those if he had the chance, so you think it’s gonna be the perfect way to thank him.

You keep the usual schedule, but after your little learning session in the afternoon, instead of heading out to the backyard to play, you suggest you bake the cupcakes together and Izzy is more than happy to help you.

It doesn’t take long for the kitchen to turn into a warzone, ingredients spilled to the counter all over the place, some music is playing in the background and you’ve been struggling to figure out how to use the different machines around the super modern kitchen.

You go all out with the decorations, you even bought some food coloring so you can make the cupcakes different colors and mess around with the icing and cream as well. You get so busy with the task on hand that time flies by faster than you expected. The two of you are still working on the decorating when the front door opens and Harry walks into the mess you’ve created in the past hours.

“What is doing on here?” he chuckles, seeing Izzy’s hair covered in flour, whipped cream on her nose and cheeks as she is throwing some sprinkles on one of the cupcakes, sitting on the kitchen island counter while you are finishing up another one.

“Oh! I wanted it to be a surprise!” you pout. “Izzy and I are making you cupcakes!”

“Why do I deserve a surprise?” he asks smirking, walking farther into the kitchen as he looks around, finding the mess quite amusing, rather than annoying. Harry knows well enough that it’s not easy to keep the place around you clean when there are kids involved in any process.

“I wanted to thank you for suggesting me to Sarah and Mitch. It was really nice of you.”

“Already told you it was nothing. Of course I suggest them a good photographer if I know one.”

You just smile at him shrugging, because no matter how hard he is trying to play it down, it meant a lot to you.

“Look daddy!” Izzy holds up her cupcake, half of it is covered with sprinkles, the other half is decorated with chocolate chips and she is clearly proud of it.

“That looks great, baby!” he smiles proudly, kissing the top of her head. “You have so much stuff on you, you could easily turn into a cupcake too,” he jokes, making her laugh.

“Be a cupcake with me, daddy!” Izzy beams and before Harry could stop her, she wipes some whipped cream to his face, getting him dirty as well. You gasp before letting out a laugh, Izzy shrieks happily seeing her dad all dressed up fancily and licking the cream off his face.

“Isabelle Styles, you have no idea what you just brought on yourself,” he warns in a low tone, already making Izzy scoot backwards as she is trying to escape, but she doesn’t have anywhere to go, the kitchen island’s edge is right behind her butt. However, she doesn’t realize it and tries to push herself back some more, deeming herself to fall right off, but before anything could happen Harry scoops her into his arms, pressing his creamy face to her cheek, making an even bigger mess that’s already there. Izzy is moving around, laughing and screaming as Harry gets some more cream to his hands, wiping it onto her anywhere he can.

“Oh my God, you are wasting all the cream!” you call him out, but it’s such a sweet moment to witness, you would never blame him for wasting it.

Harry stops attacking Izzy and turns to you with a dark look in his eyes.

“Izzy, I think Y/N looks too clean, doesn’t she?” he cocks his head to the side, exchanging a look with the girl in his arms.

“She does!” Izzy agrees as you start backing away from them. Harry sets Izzy down to her feet, grabbing the bowl with the remaining of the cream. He gets a handful for himself and lets Izzy fill her palms as well.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” you warn them, holding up your pointing finger at them, trying to escape, but you are kind of cornered against the counter.

“It’s my house, I do whatever I want to,” he smirks, so full of himself and in a blink of the eye, they both launch themselves at you and Hell breaks loose.

They start whipping cream on you anywhere they can and when it’s gone, Harry just decides to go for anything else he can reach. Izzy is throwing sprinkles around while thanks to Harry, flour is flying everywhere, completely destroying the kitchen.

“Stop! No! I surrender!” you scream, fighting back, but it’s two against one.

“No mercy!” Harry shouts, so excited, as if he just transformed into a little boy, throwing mud around.

You grab his wrists when he tries to pour sugar on top of your head straight from the contained, holding him back, but he is so much stronger than you, it’s kind of a lost fight already. You don’t even realize how close he is, your chests are almost touching as he has you pinned against the counter, faces only about two inches away from each other. His wrist slides out of your hold, but he drops the sugar to the counter next to you. You try to snatch it to use his own weapon against him, but he is quick to stop you, forcing your hand down next to your side, but in the process he managed to bring you even closer, flushed against his hard chest and your lips part at the sudden mood change that he must be feeling as well, because the playfulness disappears from his eyes pretty fast and it’s replaced by something entirely different, something you can’t even read, because you haven’t seen it in his eyes before. And then…

Then you see his eyes flicker down to your lips, just a moment before yours move down to his. It’s that moment. It’s that exact moment when you just know you both are thinking about kissing, but you don’t know if it’s going to happen or now. You’re not even sure you want it to happen.

You fucking moron, of course you want to kiss him! That tiny voice in the back of your mind screams at you. In a heartbeat, it seems like he is about to move closer, but then the moment is interrupted and completely destroyed when a woman walks into the house, scaring you to death.

“Wow, it seems like Izzy took over control completely,” she comments, walking further into the house as you jump away from Harry, suddenly very aware of the mess you’ve made.

“Gemma, what—“ Harry starts, but he is quickly cut off.

“Don’t ask what I’m doing here, I literally texted you today that I would come by and you said it’s okay.” She gives him a look before her eyes move over to you as you’re trying to somehow clean everything up, but it’ll take a little longer probably. “You must be Y/N, hi! I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister.”

She steps over to you holding out a hand and you reach for it, but then stop, seeing that your palms are all floury. You both let out a chuckle, deciding to just move over the handshake.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, though it would have been better if we met when I didn’t have whipped cream in my eyes,” you joke.

“Auntie Gemma, we made cupcakes, do you want one?” Izzy runs up to her, holding up a cupcake that was finished, unlike the majority that are going to have poor decorations, since Harry and Izzy decided to use everything in the fight. Now it’s the floor that’s covered with icing, cream and sprinkles.

“Maybe later, sweetie, but they look awesome!”

As you wipe your face with a kitchen towel, you can feel Harry’s gaze on you, your heart beating so fast in your chest, it’s pushing all the blood up into your head that’s already feeling dizzy. What would have happened if Gemma didn’t walk in? Would has he kissed you? Or did you misread the situation and it was nothing just part of the game?

You busy yourself with cleaning up as Harry cleans himself a little with a paper towel before stepping closer to his sister.

“I totally forgot you texted, I replied in the middle of a meeting, I think I didn’t process the message.”

“It’s fine,” Gemma sighs. “I’m already used to my little brother forgetting about me,” she teases him, but he just rolls his eyes at her.

“Let me just help Y/N clean up the kitchen and I’ll be right with you. Would you mind cleaning Izzy off?” Harry asks her, but you stop him short.

“Oh, I’ll take care of this, don’t worry,” you assure him, but as his eyes snap over at you, you lose your voice. He clearly felt the moment as well earlier and now it’s kind of getting awkward, you don’t really want to be left alone with him right now. Not until you figure out what this whole thing was.

“Are you sure? I mean I was the one who started it and—“

“It’s fine,” you try your best to smile at him without overheating. He is standing several feet away from you, but you can still feel what it felt like to be pushed up against him.

Harry hesitates, his eyes following your every move while you are trying to busy yourself and act normal, while you are literally crumbling inside. You almost kissed your boss in the middle of his kitchen, you need a moment to process that.

“Alright, let me know if you need help,” he murmurs before picking Izzy up and heading upstairs to clean them both, Gemma following them right behind. When they are out of your sight, you lean against the counter, breathing out heavily.

Meanwhile upstairs, Harry hands Izzy his phone to play some games while he cleans her and himself off in the bathroom. Gemma sits on the edge of the tub, eyeing her brother curiously, which Harry notices.

“What?” he asks, stripping Izzy out of her dirty clothes.

“What was all that about?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you, Harry. You were like, ready to snog Y/N right then and there when I walked in. Did I miss something?”

“No idea what you’re talking about and I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up when it’s not just the two of us,” he replies firmly, looking down at the girl who is obliviously tapping on the screen. Gemma just rolls her eyes before leaving the two of them alone.

Wandering down she finds you scrubbing the counters from the mess you’ve made, deep in your thoughts. Seeing her walk in, you shoot her a smile, not sure what to say or if you even should say anything, but when she grabs a towel for herself and starts helping, you speak up.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to help,” she smiles, as she starts cleaning the kitchen island up. “So how do you like working for my brother, so far? He mentioned what happened with the daycare. Honestly, those mothers are entitled spoiled brats,” she scoffs making you smile.

“They weren’t too delightful even before the whole fiasco,” you chuckle softly. “But I really like it here. There are a lot more perks and it’s so much easier to focus on one kid than to have fifteen at a time,” you point out making her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m good with my two, don’t think I could handle more.”

“Oh, you have kids?”

“Yes, two sons. Beau is turning ten this year and Jasper turned six in January.” Gemma pulls out her phone from her back pocket and unlocking it she shows you the homescreen that has a picture of two adorable boys sitting on a bench next to each other, munching on a big bowl of strawberries. The younger one, Jasper has a red sunhat on his head while Beau is rocking some cool sunglasses.

“Oh my God, they look so much like you!”

“I get that a lot and honestly, they really should!” Gemma scoffs. “It took twenty fucking hours for Jasper’s big head to come out!”

“Wow that sounds way too much,” you laugh and Gemma nods with a tired, but clearly proud smile.

“Yeah, but it was worth it. Anyway, after my two boys, Izzy is the little princess of the family.”

“The boys get along well with her?” you ask as you both keep cleaning.

“They act like her big brothers, they get so protective over her!”

“That’s cute.”

“Yeah, they really are. My mom has this summer barbeque every year, if Harry doesn’t invite you with him then I’m doing it now, because you need to see how crazy out family gets,” she smirks at you. “All of our cousins and the kids are there, it’s a whole parade.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot of fun,” you smile at her. “One of my friends in high school had a really big family and they always invited me to birthdays at their place, I loved how lively and buzzing it was always.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to get together from time to time,” she nods smiling. “So do you have a boyfriend or something?” she asks then, implying that she is not even sure if you are playing on the team she is assuming.

“Oh, um, no. It’s just me for now. So no boyfriend for me.” Your answer, making sure it gives her the information she was trying to get as well.

“Are you done interrogating her, Gem?” Harry appears from upstairs, Izzy running ahead of him before smashing herself against Gemma’s legs.

“We’re just having a chat, is that a crime now?” she rolls her eyes. “Swear to God, he is such a control freak sometimes,” she then adds turning to you.

“Would you stop offending me in my own house?” Harry gives him a look. Gemma leans down and picks Izzy up into her arms.

“Izzy, you really should tell your dad to pull the stick out of his as—“

“You are not finishing that!” Harry cuts her off and you can’t push your laughter back. Harry’s eyes meet yours over Gemma’s shoulders and he realizes that you are still all dirty and messed up. “Y/N, go and take a shower if you want. We’ll take this over, alright?”

It wasn’t an order, but you feel like it was a very firm suggestion. He is clearly uncomfortable with you talking to Gemma and though you’re not sure why, you don’t want to upset him, so just nodding you drop the kitchen towel and head upstairs to clean yourself up.

“I hope you didn’t say anything to upset her,” Harry comments as he takes over the cleaning. Gemma grimaces.

“What could have I possibly said? I was just trying to get to know her!”

“You are always a little too up in my business, Gems,” he sighs.

“Daddy, can I watch some TV, please?” Izzy asks, tugging on his pants.

“Sure. Do you need me to switch it on?”

“No, I’m a big girl, I can do it,” Izzy nods before running off, leaving the siblings alone.

“Didn’t know Y/N was your business,” Gemma tilts her head to the side. Harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but nothing comes out. He was caught with this one. “Oh my God. I knew I walked in on something, you have a thing for her!” Gemma gasps with wide eyes.

“Stop with this! You and Niall are like some middle schoolers, it’s so fucking annoying!”

“So Niall sees it too, huh?”

“Niall is an idiot,” he points out. “He is… obsessed with this idea that I should start dating again and he thinks I should make a move on Y/N.”

“Well, he is an idiot, but he has a point.”

“No he doesn’t!” Harry argues, but Gemma just rolls her eyes.

“So you want to die alone? Is that your plan?”

Harry has always hated his sister’s bluntness. She never held herself back when it came to giving her opinion, whether it was wanted or not. But what Harry hates even more is that most of the time… Gemma is right.

He doesn’t want to die alone, no one wants that, but being with someone is a hard topic for Harry after losing the person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Even just the thought makes him feel like he is doing something bad, like he shouldn’t even be thinking about anyone but his wife, even years after the tragedy.

“Harry, look…” Gemma breathes out leaning against the counter next to her brother. “I know it’s a fucked up situation and I know things are still not in the right place in your head. But eventually you’ll have to move on. We all want to see you happy and I think that… I think Maggie would want that for you as well.”

Harry tries not to physically cringe at the name, the familiar pain is already clutching his heart, like it has been since the day of the accident. Some days are easier, some days are harder, but Gemma is right. Things are still not in the right place in his head and he knows that, he is just not sure how to fix it at this point.

“I’m not saying you should date Y/N, I’m not Niall to force anyone on you. I’m just telling you to try to get out a little more, just to test the waters. But you obviously like her so if it happens to be her, it wouldn’t be a big deal, if you ask me.”

Gemma shrugs and goes back to the cleaning while Harry keeps his swirling thoughts to himself. Two of the most important people have told him the same thing recently and though part of him wants to stubbornly go against it, his rational side knows that they might be right.

But not much can be done when a man is still blaming himself for the death of his own wife. Because that’s exactly the case when it comes to Harry and no one really knows that the thought has been haunting him for years now…

After taking a quick shower, washing your hair and changing into clothes that are not covered in flour, you join Harry and Gemma downstairs and insist on finishing the rest of the cleaning while they move out to the terrace to talk. The evening goes by peacefully, Harry decides to order dinner and Gemma joins the three of you at the dining table.

You love watching the dynamic between them and they truly seem to be very close. Gemma likes to embarrass Harry with stories from their childhood and you are enjoying them all a little too much maybe, but it’s nice to think that he wasn’t always this confident businessman.

“It was so good to meet you, Y/N!” Gemma hugs you goodbye after dinner.

“You too!”

“Bye Izzy, come and give a smooch for your favorite auntie!” Squatting down she lets Izzy wrap her arms around her neck as she kisses her cheek sloppily.

“Bye Gemma,” she singsongs. Harry pulls his sister into a hug as well before walking her out.

You start washing the dishes, Izzy talking to you about whatever show she was watching earlier on TV. When Harry returns he tells you to just leave the rest of the cleaning up for him while he bathes Izzy, but you don’t listen to him and finish up while they are upstairs.

Bringing your laptop down you settle on the couch and just start scrolling through social media, reading articles and whatnot, the TV quietly playing in the background. You send out an email regarding the wedding you are attending this weekend, making sure everything is in place.

When Harry emerges again he joins you on the couch with a tired sigh.

“Thanks for washing the dishes but you really should just leave it to me when I ask you to,” he smiles at you softly.

“It’s not a big deal, I like to be useful,” you chuckle shutting your laptop down.

“As if you’re not useful enough already,” he huffs smiling to himself. “Oh, before I forget, I wanted to talk to you about Izzy going to my mum’s.”

“Oh, yeah, you mentioned it earlier.”

“Yeah. So she is going to spend a week at my mother’s and I timed it to line up with Sarah and Mitch’s wedding. So I’ll leave her at my mum’s Sunday evening and pick her up the next Sunday which lines up perfectly with the wedding on Saturday. That week is obviously free for you as well, like a paid vacation,” he chuckles.

“Sounds good. How far does your mother lives from here?”

“Just a few hours, not that horrible of a drive. If you’re up for it, we can carpool to the wedding and then pick her up together right from there and head home.”

“Yeah, that works for me, thanks,” you nod.

Harry stays and turns his attention on the TV, seemingly pretty unbothered while you still haven’t stopped thinking about what happened in the kitchen earlier. Glancing over at Harry it appears that it’s not that big of a deal for him, so it makes you settle with the thought that it’s not one for you either.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him grabbing your laptop and phone as you rise from your seat.

“Nigh, Y/N,” he smiles as you round the couch and head upstairs, but you stop at the bottom of the stairs, lancing back at the mop of locks that’s visible from him from behind. You watch him run his fingers through his hair and you let out a shaky breath, knowing well you did not convince yourself that it was nothing. Not for you, at least.

Because you wanted him to kiss you.

The wedding you’re attending is held on a farm owned by the parents of the bride. The whole barn was transformed into this very country like fairytale location, lots of fairy lights and candles along with some nice, pastel colored flowers with a hint of purple between them.

Everything goes planned. Arriving you meet first with the groom and then with the bride in their separated rooms of the house, going over everything they want just one last time before you get down to work, snapping loads of pictures from them getting ready for the big day.

Emily, the bride is a chatty girl and all her bridesmaids are her sisters, coming from a big family with five daughters, she is the second oldest. The groom, Jesse is a few years older than Emily, but they are such a cute couple and they are clearly so madly in love, it’s always nice to see people be so happy with the right person.

You keep going back and forth between the groom and the bride and later you do the first look thing as well, when Jesse stands outside in the field and Emily walks up behind him, letting him see her for the first time. It really is always such a special moment and you tear up as well, watching Jesse fall speechless upon seeing his beautiful fiancé.

As the ceremony is about to start and the guests slowly take their seats on the two sides of the aisle, you make a quick trip down there to make sure you are using the right lenses, not wanting to change a lot when the ceremony has started. You stop in the corner, just trying out if you can shoot some pictures of the guests as well with the lens you are planning to use, you take a look around using the camera and that’s when you almost faint.

You would pick out that face from any, it has grown to you way too much, but you didn’t think you’d ever see him again. Lowering the camera you stare at the tall figure with parted lips, blinking a few times just to make sure it’s who you think it is.

But it is in fact your ex-fiancé, Keith, and to make it even worse, the woman standing next to him with his arm around her waist is the one he cheated on you with. They are still together and now you are staring right at them.

Tears sting your eyes as you try to look for a way to escape before he spots you, though you know he’ll see you sooner or later, but right now they are standing right at the entrance of the barn and you can’t avoid walking past them.

Keeping your head down you try to stay unnoticed as you march towards the exit, but you apparently, you are out of luck.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Keith calls after you just when you thought you were successful in sneaking out. Stopping in your tracks you seriously think about just running off, pretending like you didn’t even hear him, but it’s kind of too late and it would be ridiculous. So turning around on your heels, you plaster the fakest smile on your lips as you look at him.

“Keith, hi!” you breathe out, taking just a few steps closer to him, still keeping some distance between the two of you. Stella, the lucky woman on his arm blinks at you and at first you’re not even sure she realizes who you are or if she even knows you. The longer she looks at you the more certain you become that she indeed does not know that you’re the woman Keith cheated on with her. Nice.

Keith realizes that the two of you have been staring at each other awkwardly, so clearing his throat he quickly introduces the two of you to each other.

“Um, Y/N, this is Stella. Stella, this is… Y/N.”

You can tell he was thinking about using titles, but he decided to leave it at that, though it would have been a lot more interesting if he just titled the two of you.

Y/N, this is the woman I cheated on you with, who is my girlfriend now. Stella, this is Y/N, to whom I was engaged when I was fucking you!

You flash her a quick, not too honest smile and it seems like she is catching onto that something is not right, but she can’t tell for sure.

“What are you doing here?” Keith asks, a little harsher than you would have liked him to talk to you, but it’s kind of understandable. Seeing each other after what happened is not a pleasant experience for either of you, you assume. You hold up the camera as the answer for the stupid question and Keith furrows his eyebrows at you. “Oh, you still to the photography thingy?”

“Thingy?” you ask, quite offended. Keith always belittled your love for photography. He thought it was just a hobby, something that should stay just a hobby and not get turned into anything more. He once told you during a fight that it takes your time away from more important things, like doing chores. That was one of the most sexist things he has ever said to you and you should have packed your stuff right then and there. But you didn’t, stuck around for three more months before you found out about the cheating.

“Well, this thingy is kind of a side job for me,” you inform him.

“Oh. That sounds… fun,” he nods, but it’s clearer than daylight that he thinks it’s just a waste of time. Good thing he has no business in anything about you anymore.

“Um, I’m gonna go now, but I guess see you two around.” You shoot them another fake smile before turning around and walking away from this conversation straight from Hell.

Marching away from the barn you rush into the nearest bathroom you can find. You need a minute. Or maybe two��� five. This did not just happen. You didn’t just face your cheating ex-fiancé with the woman he cheated on you, what kind of sick movie plot is this you found yourself in?

Placing your camera to the counter near the sink you wash your hands and sprinkle some water to your face as well before you lean to the edge of the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost and quite frankly, you would have been happier with the ghost than with Keith and Stella.

You’ve been doing alright since the breakup, but it’s obvious that only because you didn’t have to see Keith. Following the blowup when you found the explicit texts in his phone, you only had to face him twice and never since then. It’s easier to be okay when you don’t have to look at the person who hurt you most all the time, but coming face to face with him now really threw you off, especially with Stella on his arm. The fucker did not only cheat on you with her, but he went straight into a relationship with her and she probably doesn’t even know that she was just the sidechick in the beginning. If you were really evil, you’d go up to her and enlighten her about who you really are, but you are not one to cause a scene. Keith kept the two of you apart consciously, he never let you go into his office because he wanted Stella to think that he is a single man while he was engaged. Sickening to think how slyly he played the both of you and even after his little plan failed, he kept lying to the poor girl and lured her into a relationship. You wonder if he is already fucking another girl behind her back.

Your fingers start to turn white, gripping the edge of the sink tightly so you loosen up a bit, shaking your arms and shoulders off to pull yourself together. You fix your makeup and run your fingers through your hair quickly to give it some volume before grabbing the camera from the counter and heading out. However shocking it is to be at the same place as Keith again, you have a job to do right now and the bride and groom are expecting some amazing photos and that’s exactly what you’re gonna deliver.

You manage to busy yourself to the point where you are able to forget about Keith’s existence for most of the time. Following the happy couple around you don’t get too much free time, the camera is glued in front of your face basically and it brings you some peace. For a while.

Emily and Jesse disappear for an outfit change and it gives you a short break since they didn’t want that to be photographed, only when they return. So you get yourself a virgin cocktail from the bar and head outside to get some fresh air. You text back Heather and Trevor and then just scroll through Instagram, enjoying some alone time from the buzzing you’ve been around all day.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your right you spot Keith walking towards you, this time alone, but it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.

“What do you want?” you mumble under your breath.

“Just… though we could chat for a little. It’s been a long time.”

“Not enough,” you retort. “And I would like to skip the chatting.”

“Come on, you can’t be still that mad at me,” he chuckles and you almost punch him in the face right then and there.

“Well I am. So go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone.”

“I know things didn’t end too well, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil towards each other.” You can’t help the laughter that bubbles from your throat. He can’t be serious, trying to act like the bigger person now after everything he has done to you. This has got to be a joke.

“This is me being civil, because I’m not throwing anything at you. So leave me the fuck alone, let me do my job and then we hopefully don’t see each other again.”

“Come on. You don’t miss me, baby?” he smirks at you, completely ignoring what you just told him. You physically cringe at the pet name he just called you and you take a step away from him, needing the distance more than ever.

“I don’t. Now leave.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Too fucking bad. Now leave!” you raise your voice, but it does nothing. He is still standing there, looking at you like he didn’t completely destroy you just about a year ago.

“Heard that you haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.”

“Are you asking around after me?” you scowl.

“We have a few mutual friends,” he shrugs. “Is it because you still want me?”

“My dating life is none of your business, Keith. And I don’t want you. Quite frankly, I don’t even know how I could ever want you, so now please let me enjoy my break and leave me alone.”

“Y/N, I just—“ Keith reaches for your hand, but you pull back before he could touch you, holding up a finger at him you start talking slowly and very clearly so the message goes through.

“Don’t ever fucking touch me or talk to me. I want nothing to do with you, you’re a manipulating, cheating, egoistic asshole who ruins the life of others. I’m telling you this for the last time, Keith: leave me the fuck alone.”

He looks a bit stunned at your harsh response, but you couldn’t care less if you’ve hurt him. He did way worse things to you than snapping at you. As you walk past him to head back into the barn, he doesn’t let the chance to punch you in the stomach with his words one last time.

“I wish I could say you were a good fuck, but that wouldn’t be true. Good luck finding some lowlife loser who would even think about marrying you!”

Every fiber in your body is screaming to launch yourself at him and punch him until he is unconscious, because that’s exactly what he deserves. The tears are already stinging your eyes, but you don’t give him the satisfaction to see you react to his words. So swallowing hard you just keep on walking until you are out of his sight, bottling up the sobs and tears for the time when you’re home and on your own.

It’s past two am when you arrive home, drained and exhausted, both emotionally and exhausted. Following the conversation you had wit Keith he didn’t try to talk to you anymore, but you could always feel his eyes on you, wherever you were, as if he wanted to see if you are watching him too, but you weren’t. Looking at him would have been too painful so you tried your best to keep your eyes away from him through the night.

You know damn well that what he told you when you were leaving was just to get a reaction out of you, to get you upset enough to start a fight with him, it’s just who he is, he enjoys having the last word and the higher ground in every situation, but you didn’t want to be his partner in his stupid games this time. However it still hurt, what he said.

Walking into the dead silent house you kick your shoes off, drop your keys into the little bowl next to the door and head to the kitchen to get yourself some water. Pouring yourself a glass you lean against the counter and as you stare ahead of you, nothing can stop the tears from falling.

Everything you kept bottled up during the afternoon and evening just hits you all at once, making you break down heavier than any time in the past months. You sob and cry, letting it all out until your head feels like exploding, but you still can’t stop. You were not ready to face the man that broke your heart like no one before.

In the middle of your breakdown you don’t even realize the footsteps coming from the stairs.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice calls out, snapping you out of your pity party. He immediately sees that you’ve been crying like a baby, no doubt, but you still try to wipe your cheeks and eyes, pretending like everything is totally fine.

“Harry! What are you doing up so late?” you breathe out hoarsely.

“Just wanted to get some water, but have you been crying? What happened, are you alright?” he starts bombarding you with questions, clearly worried about you, seeing you in this state.

“Everything is fine, I just… had a rough night,” you chuckle through your tears that are still rolling down your cheeks, those bastards!

“A rough night doesn’t make you sob like this. What happened?” Rounding the kitchen island he stops in front of you, not sure how to approach the situation, but it’s kind of sweet how he wants to help, but doesn’t know how.

“I, uhh—I met my… ex-fiancé tonight. He was at the wedding I worked at,” you mumble shutting your eyes closed.

“Did he hurt you? Y/N, if he laid a hand on you, I swear—“ “No, he didn’t hurt me,” you shake your head before adding: “Well, not physically.”

“Come on, let’s sit down for a bit.” He gently takes your hand and pulls you to the couch in the living room, making you sit before he plops down next to you. “Tell me what happened.”

“It’s really stupid, I shouldn’t be this upset about it, but I just… It hurt and I can’t change it,” you whine, wiping some more tears away.

“I’m sure it’s not stupid. Tell me what happened!”

“He was there with the woman he cheated on me with. They are basically a couple now, but she doesn’t even know that Keith was engaged to me when they started dating, so it’s really fucked up. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because, you know, fuck him, he can do whatever he wants, it’s not my business anymore, but then he came up to me and tried to chitchat with me, which I didn’t really want, of course.”

Harry listens carefully, giving you his undivided attention while you fumble with the hem of your shirt, kind of avoiding to look him in the eyes. Part of you is afraid you’d see judgment in them and you don’t think you would be able to handle that.

“I asked him to leave me alone, but he just kept talking and then I snapped at him a little harsher and when I was walking away he…”

You scowl again, hearing his words play in your head so clearly, as if he was standing behind you, repeating them to you. Harry reaches out and he gently covers your hand with his warm palm, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting you know that he is patiently waiting, not rushing you to talk. Taking a deep breath you blink your tears away before continuing.

“He basically said that I wasn’t even a good fuck and no man will want to marry me.”

“Jesus fuck, what kind of asshole did you date, Y/N?” Harry snaps in horror and it’s kinda funny, makes you laugh through your tears.

“Seems like the worst kind,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. “I know I shouldn’t have let his words get to my head, but… it’s easier said than done. I feel like such a loser,” you breathe out, your lips trembling as the tears are threatening to flow again.

“Don’t blame yourself for having feelings, it’s completely normal. Of course his words hurt, he once meant a lot to you and he probably knows that too, that’s why he tried to use it against you. What he said held no truth.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper as you finally look at him. His green irises appear so warm as he smiles at you, squeezing your hand again. He scoots a little closer, his knee bumping against the side of your thigh.

“Y/N, I know so,” he chuckles. “That guy was a proper idiot for what he did to you. You didn’t deserve any of that and any many would be lucky to have you as their wife.”

“Really?” you pout, feeling so touched and loved from his words. It’s exactly the reassurance you needed.

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling sweetly.

Everything that happened today messed with your head big time. And now sitting with Harry on the couch, listening to him telling you how worthy you are of love and happiness, it completely throws you off. Ever since that moment in the kitchen before Gemma walked in, you’ve been nonstop thinking about what would have happened and it made you notice even the tiniest things about him.

Harry Styles is a man who is clearly a sight for the eyes, with his chiseled jawline, pink lips and gorgeous green eyes, the duality of his powerful and business appropriate attires he wears during the day and the tattoos hidden under his dress shirts, you’d have to be blind to say that he is not an attractive man. But on top of everything on the outside, he is a wonderful person on the inside and it twists your head more than you’d like it.

Your brain switches off for a moment, or just the rational side, but you completely stop thinking as you stare at each other. The intimacy and emotionality of the moment pushes all your common sense to the side as your gaze wanders down his lips.

The thought of kissing him comes fast and before you could even stop yourself, you move forward and press your lips to his. The touch of his lips against yours is sweet and warm and kind of intoxicating, but in just a blink of the eye your rationality gets a grip of you and your eyes pop open in realization of what you just did. Pulling back you gasp and cover your mouth in shock, feeling your whole inside trembling at the thought of getting yourself fired by this move.

Harry seems frozen and quite shocked as well, his lips are parted as he stays still in his spot.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what’s gotten into me! Harry, I’m sorry, I promise—“

You start rambling in panic, but you don’t get to finish. Harry moves forward, his hand coming to the back of your head as he pulls you in for another kiss, this time making it a lot more passionate and even your tongues get involved. He is kissing you hard and you almost moan into his mouth when you feel his other hand come to your thigh, squeezing it just enough to send a shockwave up your spine. Your hands come up to the back of his hair and you hold onto him for dear life, carrying the kiss on like you’re two teenagers in your parents’ basement, doomed to get caught any moment. Harry goes in again and again, tugging on your bottom lip, licking into your mouth and making your insides twist just from having his lips on yours.

And then you both let go of each other, needing some time to breathe and you slowly realize what just happened. You both stare at each other in disbelief, completely shocked at your own actions, but neither of you have any idea what should happen next.

You let go of each other, sitting back to your normal positions, awkwardly breathing heavily and you realize you cannot deal with this right now. You are way too drained and tired to make it make sense so you decide to just… call it a night.

“I’ll head to bed,” you quietly inform him as you stand up from the couch, walking like a zombie, the shock still clouding your judgment.

“Good night,” Harry mumbles, just as confused as you are.

“Good night,” you nod and basically sprint up the stairs and don’t stop until you shut your door behind you.

Leaning your back against it, you slide down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you stare into the darkness for long minutes. Quite some time passes by before you hear Harry walk upstairs, his door opens and then closes before silence falls on the house again. With a blank mind, you push yourself up, take a quick shower and just go to bed, ignoring everything that has happened today. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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[violetcancerian]

So I finally used my drawing tablet for something totally self indulgent WHICH IS...do some Arthurian art, and NATURALLY, I go with Gawain. So this is in part inspired by Dev Patel, by my own take, by the poem, and this was the result. 

Image warning: blood 

[Image Description: A young man with dark skin, black hair, with golden highlights, a yellow cloak, and red undershirt peeking at the bottom, is standing wide eyed in fear or shock with a background of light green. He holds an axe that is covered in blood, his yellow cloak and face are also covered in blood. There is a five pointed star behind his head, only the three corners (top, left and right) are visible, he also wears holly leaves and red berries in his hair. End Image Description.] 

So anyways, here’s my favorite part of the poem, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight: 

Then the Green Knight drew off from him and leaned on his axe, setting the shaft on the ground, and looked on Gawain as he stood all armed and faced him fearlessly–at heart it pleased him well. Then he spake merrily in a loud voice, and said to the knight, "Bold sir, be not so fierce, no man here hath done thee wrong, nor will do, save by covenant, as we made at Arthur's court. I promised thee a blow and thou hast it–hold thyself well paid! I release thee of all other claims. If I had been so minded I might perchance have given thee a rougher buffet. First I menaced thee with a feigned one, and hurt thee not for the covenant that we made in the first night, and which thou didst hold truly. All the gain didst thou give me as a true man should. The other feint I proffered thee for the morrow: my fair wife kissed thee, and thou didst give me her kisses–for both those days I gave thee two blows without scathe–true man, true return. But the third time thou didst fail, and therefore hadst thou that blow. For 'tis my weed thou wearest, that same woven girdle, my own wife wrought it, that do I wot for sooth. Now know I well thy kisses, and thy conversation, and the wooing of my wife, for 'twas mine own doing. I sent her to try thee, and in sooth I think thou art the most faultless knight that ever trode earth. As a pearl among white peas is of more worth than they, so is Gawain, i' faith, by other knights. But thou didst lack a little, Sir Knight, and wast wanting in loyalty, yet that was for no evil work, nor for wooing neither, but because thou lovedst thy life–therefore I blame thee the less."   Then the other stood a great while, still sorely angered and vexed within himself; all the blood flew to his face, and he shrank for shame as the Green Knight spake; and the first words he said were, "Cursed be ye, cowardice and covetousness, for in ye is the destruction of virtue." Then he loosed the girdle, and gave it to the knight. "Lo, take there the falsity, may foul befall it! For fear of thy blow cowardice bade me make friends with covetousness and forsake the customs of largess and loyalty, which befit all knights. Now am I faulty and false and have been afeared: from treachery and untruth come sorrow and care. I avow to thee, Sir Knight, that I have ill done; do then thy will. I shall be more wary hereafter."   Then the other laughed and said gaily, "I wot I am whole of the hurt I had, and thou hast made such free confession of thy misdeeds, and hast so borne the penance of mine axe edge, that I hold thee absolved from that sin, and purged as clean as if thou hadst never sinned since thou wast born. And this girdle that is wrought with gold and green, like my raiment, do I give thee, Sir Gawain, that thou mayest think upon this chance when thou goest forth among princes of renown, and keep this for a token of the adventure of the Green Chapel, as it chanced between chivalrous knights. And thou shalt come again with me to my dwelling and pass the rest of this feast in gladness." Then the lord laid hold of him, and said, "I wot we shall soon make peace with my wife, who was thy bitter enemy."

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL 

[domxmarvel]

For real?

1K masterlist

Fake Dating/Engagement/Marriage AU Sweet pea x Female!Reader

"Please,you have to help me" You begged only to be denied.

"Actually I don't,this is your mess not mine"

"Please,what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know,you figure it out"

"That's not what I meant,I meant what you want me to do in exchange for your help. Please it's only for one day" He sighed,you thought he was going to get angry but he just said 

"Fine,I'll help you." You were ecstatic,until you realized he still hadn't told you what he wanted. 

"You haven't told me what you want?" 

"Haven't thought about it,I'll let you know later. So what's our story?I'm guessing you didn't plan on telling them that I'm a Serpent" Then it hit you,you had to plan out your entire relationship and memorize it in the span of three days. 

"This is gonna take a while"

***

By the time you were on your way to the wedding you had everything planned out. Your story was that you met when the Serpents transferred to Riverdale high and that you were paired up for a project.  And that he asked you out after. You kept the story simple,saying that he proposed to you two years after you graduated. 

"You ready to do this?" He asked as you put your arm around his.

"Yeah,do you remember everything? " He nodded,pulling you close. When you walked,you saw your mother walking towards you.

"Y/N there you are" She looked Sweet pea up and down. "You must be sweet pea,Y/N's told us a lot about you" Immediately the questions started,but nothing surprised you more than how well Sweet pea answered them. You hadn't realized how good of an actor he was until that moment. The two of you were just talking to some of your relatives,when one of them asked.

"So what's your favorite thing about Y/N?" You hadn't thought about that question,but Sweet pea didn't look nervous or panicked in the slightest. He just calmly answered.

"She always cheers me up when I'm down,she's my sunshine" There was something about the look in his eye that made it obvious that he wasn't lying,that wasn't part of your facade,he really meant it. 

***

“How did you come up with that so quickly?” You asked as you walked into your room. Pretending  you were a couple also meant that you’d end up sharing a room and a bed,which for some reason you completely forgot about. 

“Come up with what?”

“When you called me your sunshine?”

“That wasn’t a lie” You turned to face him. “The truth is that I like you,but I was scared that you’d never like me as more than a friend. I was gonna risk it and tell you but then you asked me to do this. That’s why I didn’t want to do this,because just the fact that asked me made me believe that you’re never gonna like me the way I like you.”

“So what you said out there,you’re favorite thing about me. That was true?” He nodded,you hugged him before he could move away from you. “You know maybe we could give this,being a couple thing a real chance”

“What?”

“It means,I like you too,sunshine” He laughed.

“You are never gonna let me live this down are you” You both laughed. “So you wanna give this a try?” You pulled him down and kissed him.

“Yeah,let’s give this a try”

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

Well hello darlin'

(I guess a little fact about me is that i'm NOT from the south, and thus have never been called that before you. it makes me a blushing mess each time)

sorry it took me so long to respond I tore my room apart trying to find my wrist brace lol

I ALSO play guitar, though mostly electric!

Every time you compliment my singing voice i'm just like awww <333 but I also feel the need to let you know that I have a lullaby voice. which does not mean it;s soft and sweet but means tired, cranky babies don't mind it (but tired, cranky adults do)

Русская Принцесса is about how it's hard to be around a russian princess but they're already part of the inner circle and it's interesting (probably in a 'person observing an insane person' kinda way I think)

I've actually never heard of the song to recommended but the vibes are very 'neon green' (like the colour) if that makes any sense.

I forgot to say but I listened to the songs you sent me and Apple Tree Blues is probably my favourite out of the bunch!

we really are two peas in a pod lol. guess who also has a bit of a stutter! it gets worse for me when i'm having a bad day(thanks autism!)

very random but, if you have any house plants what is your favourite one? and if you don't have house plants just favourite plant en général

also forgot to add but a man had the audacity to ask me out today, and to put it nicely I was dressed very not straight (my shirt had the word boobs on it and i was wearing so many rings, and my pants were cuffed, to list a couple things things) also side note but i might dye my hair purple again, thought?

your damsel who is currently in distress - el

Good evening my lovely! <33 I’m always so excited to see that you’ve messaged and definitely don’t gay panic for a solid 15 minutes minimum ☺️

(That’s so sweet! If you like it, I’ll continue. It’s not even common here, it just makes me swoon when I hear it, so I thought I’d try it out. I like the way it sounds, and if I ever get to say it out loud, I like to think it’ll sound nice with my accent)

That’s incredibly okay! I hope your wrist is okay. I would kiss it better if I could <33

That is so incredibly cool, omg. And you play BOTH?! Be still my poor gay heart. I want to learn both so bad, and any new favorite song changes my mind which I want more, but I’m on a solid acoustic kick rn. I have spent too long on the Donner website staring at their guitars and daydreaming 😔

A lullaby voice is still really cool! I’m tone deaf as shit but I think there’s a song or two where I can hit the notes okay. I love belting songs alone in the car with no judgement. Hopefully someday someone will want to do it with me.

Oh that’s so interesting! I think I did find the right translation then, I was having trouble lol.

No that absolutely makes sense! I definitely don’t have synesthesia, but I think some songs definitely have colors, you know? I mean you must since you said it 😂 It’s fun to connect little things like that, just take a song or a movie and say “yes, this is indigo blue” because of some specific reason or even just Vibes

Oh I’m so glad! I love that one so much. I listen to basically anything, but folk music has a special place in my heart (bet you couldn’t tell 🤪). What genres of music do you usually listen to?

Oh boy do I feel that. Mine comes out with nerves or excitement. My brain gets to fast for my mouth and then I just get stuck on a word. I think it’s fun, and my friends are all nice about it. We all laugh every time I hit a new record for how long I was stuttering over one damn syllable 😂

I do have a house plant! Turns out I have the opposite of a green thumb and I can’t even keep succulents alive (I managed to overwater one and underwater another despite them being the same species on the same water schedule shekekks), but I’ve found my match. I have a little golden pothos plant, and I named her Becky because why not. She’s going strong! Do you have house plants and do you have a favorite?

Favorite plant in general would by hibiscus though. I have a hibiscus tattoo, because my Papa used to have some in his backyard and we’d go see what new ones had bloomed every time we stayed over <33

Okay, first of all, that outfit sounds sick as hell and I adore your style. Second of all, ew why do men. I wish I could have been there to defend your honor, my darling damsel. Purple hair sounds sick as hell!

Your knight in shining armor who’s definitely not plotting homicide on said man,

- Max/Lo

[kerwritesthings]

Subway Surfing

Summary: When a literal run in changes the course of a day, let alone of a life…

Word Count: little bit over 2.2k

Warning: adorable, fluff and funny

Author Notes: A bit of a birthday surprise for @fallinallincurls​ - Happy, happy birthday Bre! Big birthday deserves nothing more than the start of a new verse for the hockey boy I forced at you last year. Umm sorry not sorry.

Things have been a lot of not ok around here for a good clip, I’ve been really not ok. It’s been hard. Writing hasn’t come, life has just kept throwing me down and down. Trying to fight the way back up, not easy but I’m trying. This was a nice way to try to get back some of that light. I had been poking at this for a beat, the idea gnawing at me with some pieces written, notes scribbled around, but birthday sparkle helped get it over the finish line. Part two already has some bones, as does part three - but please to bear with me if you will.

You hate that it’s a Saturday and you’re trekking your way into the office. It’s finally truly fall in the city and it’s a gorgeous day. The last thing you want is to be stuck at your desk behind a computer screen. You want a hot spiked apple cider, a book, a good playlist and your plaid blanket on the grass in Central Park.

It looks like the rest of the city is awake early on this day for the same reason. The subway, which normally is slightly more bearable at this time on a weekend, is the furthest thing from that. It’s packed with people including the grimy, sweat-ladened guy in the chopped-up joggers and crocs who keeps trying to “accidentally” bump and grab you every chance he gets.

The next stop, you try to move but too many people are coming on and off as the doors only quickly open and shut. You just end up jostling as the car jolts in its start. You can’t fall forward. It would land you right into the situation you’re trying to flee. Instead, you try to lean back but you slip. Fully prepared to wipe out, a hand comes gently to steady your elbow while another holds you at your shoulder.

You hear a mish mosh of “careful there” and “are you ok” crossing together as you get back steady on your feet.

“Thanks for saving me for either face planting or landing in that sweaty creep’s grasp,” you say, sliding your bag back securely on your shoulder before turning.

You know those faces. You’ve seen them on billboards and most definitely on TV. Shit, shit and shit. Of course, the two star, absolutely adorable bestie forwards from the New York Islanders have come to your rescue. This would be your luck. At least you pulled yourself somewhat together for this Saturday jaunt to the office. You keep a straight face, smiling normally and not letting anything on.

“Couldn’t let you risk that. He’s been a bit of an ass since he got into the car. We said if he were still acting a fool at next stop, we would jump in. Plotted a rescue mission and everything,” the one explains, hand running through his hair.

“His mission was to cross his arms and give him the eye,” the other mocks, shoving at his friend’s shoulder. “I mean I guess he can look threatening, like a puppy maybe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. These two are exactly as they’ve seemed in interviews. Mathew and Anthony really are as thick as thieves.

“That sarcastic asshole is Anthony and I’m Mat. We’ll stay close until he leaves, or you need to,” he remarks.

“You don’t have to do that. It’s the subway. That happening unfortunately is just another day that ends in y, you know?” you explain. “I also don’t want to take up more of your time or ruin any of your plans.”

“You deal with that? Often?” Anthony asks, eyes a little wide.

“Welcome to New York,” you shrug. “Not every day thankfully. But it’s often enough.”

“I hope you know, that wasn’t, and we weren’t...” Mat tries to stumble through.

“No, no, no. Totally. I didn’t get that whatsoever,” you respond. “Not that from either of you guys. Promise. It’s sweet to know there are still gentlemen out in this world.”

They both get a little bashful smile across their pretty faces.

“Glad to help,” they practically say in unison which causes you to bark out a laugh.

Time to shoot your shot, you think to yourself. Worse case, it’s a moment you get to have for a fun bar story.

“I think we need to become friends, boys,” you start. “Or at the very least, I owe you a drink for saving me.”

“Yes,” Anthony jumps in, nodding his head with a wide grin. “You should come to brunch with us.”

“If I didn’t have to get to the office I would,” you reply. “Unfortunately, it’s stuff I need done before a Monday morning meeting.”

“Office work on a Saturday? That’s no fun. Play hooky! We can promise a bottomless brunch,” he teases.

“Maybe after though?” Mat chimes in with a soft smile. “Get what you need to done, give you something to look forward to after?”

“I don’t want to ruin whatever plans you’ve had for the day,” you begin before the boys both shake their heads.

“It’s just brunch and shopping to try to get this one to up his style game,” Mat chides while Anthony rolls his eyes.

You bite your lip fighting back yet another giggle. These two, at the very least, would truly make some good friends. You dig around in your tote, finally snatching your card holder.

“Not sure how long I’ll be stuck. I’m hoping only a couple hours. But. If you’re serious. Text or call me,” you say, handing one off to each of them.

They both nod, each pocketing your card as the subway comes to a halt.

“Oh shit, this stop is mine. Thanks again for the soft hands and clutch assist guys,” you wink, dashing away quickly before the doors close.

“What is my life,” you mutter, the boys waiving as the train pulls away. “I need to get to the office.”

“Ok, I think that’s the first time we’ve ever had someone realize who we are in public, without a whole big scene or making a blatant ass grab type pass. We’re keeping her. Plus, you like her,” Anthony teases, shoving at Mat’s shoulder as they hit the sidewalk coming up from the subway.

“I could say the same thing to you Tito,” he snarks back, shoving in return. “You were batting the eyes. I’m not blind.”

“She seems cool and yeah she’s pretty, but I’m not jaw drop like you were when you saw her,” he chirps back. “I was trying to get a rise out of you dude. And it worked, you actually stepped up the game. And now you have her info. Don’t make me text her too. Cause I will.”

You’re just about to settle into your email with a cup of what your office likes to consider coffee when your phone starts buzzing about in quick succession.

“Looks like this is a thing,” you mumble to yourself, lips quirking up into a half smile as you formulate a reply.

“You knew?” Anthony grins over his beer. “From the start?”

You nod, sipping at your cider. You pushed through your work to be able to meet the two downtown at this tiny spot in NoLiTa that was tucked away from the crazy of the neighborhoods it was snug between. It wasn’t as sleek as you thought they’d choose; it was something much more comfortable and lower key.

“Really?” Mat questions.

“Yep. One of you not with the other? I would have had to do double take. I would have noticed, but probably would have questioned. However, the two peas in a pod together? That was a no brainer,” you explain, fighting back a bit of a giggle.

“You didn’t say anything,” Mat replies.

“How many times does that happen and it turn into a thing or a bit of a scene?” you circle the bottom of the cider bottle around on the tabletop. “There was also no point to, either. You were just trying to enjoy the day and you were being super kind keeping me from wiping out. I get it’s New York, so it’s a less likely thing but it still happens.  So, if I could keep it from another one of those moments...”

“Told you Barzy, we’re keeping her,” Anthony taps his beer against yours. “Welcome to the crazy, Evangeline.”

You can’t help but tinge a little pink.

“Well then. If that’s the case, my friends call me Evie,” you smile.

“Evie,” Mat lets the name roll around his tongue.

A couple rounds later, of both beers and darts, you realize how tight the two are and more so, how easily you could become entangled in friendship with them. And you do. Texts and memes and random photos fly back and forth, you all hang when all your schedules align. You’re also fostering relationships with each of them separately too; sharing recipes of things you want to try to bake and longing about the places you miss in Quebec with Anthony while Mat was trying to teach you more about basketball (with little luck) and in turn you trying to expand what he calls music and what actually is music. You also share some of your favorite places in the city that the two really didn’t know about. It was easy with them, together and individually but you were getting a bit more of a tug, a bit of a warmer burn with Mat.

A Saturday morning a few weeks after the afternoon drinking funtivities, you wake up to a few texts, photos really, from the group chat with the boys. First is a pair of tickets and passes to their game that night. Second is two jerseys: a blue Barzal and a white Beauvillier. The third, a text from Mat.

Choose carefully…

We’re also not taking no for an answer. You’re coming. Game and drinks after.

“Oh shit,” you exhale, quickly jumping to your closet.

“Beth?” you call out from your room, tossing through your clothes looking for two specific items. “Please tell me you don’t have plans tonight.”

“Hot date with a bottle of pinot noir and trash tv, why?” she pokes her head into your room.

“Good. You do now. You’re coming with me to the Islanders game tonight,” you mutter, flipping through more hangars.

“Wait excuse me?” she flops down, cross-legged on the end of your bed.

“So, I may have left a tiny detail out from when I told you about the two cute guys who saved me on the subway,” you explain.

“Ok and?” Beth prompts you to continue.

“They’re Islanders…” you trail off.

“What?” she screams tossing one of your throw pillows at you.

“I’m trying to not make a big deal, cause you know. But, at the same time, well you know,” you reply, finally finding the long sleeve you wanted to wear as well as one of your hockey jerseys.

“You need to give me more than this, Evie,” Beth pries.

You lean back against your closet door.

“It was Anthony Beauvillier and Mat Barzal,” you say.

Beth screams and throws another pillow at you.

“You just casually didn’t tell me that you met the damn Calder winner and his like bromance bestie,” she laments. “Evie, what the fuck?”

“This is exactly why,” you sigh. “Like it started out as ok I could have a moment, a cool story to tell. But honestly, they’re two really great guys.”

“You’re not telling me something, I can see it in that wistful look,” she pokes. “Oh god you’re sweet on one of them, aren’t you?”

You shake your head at Beth, not acknowledging the question. Shoving her over a little, you fold the jersey on the bed next to her, so the logo was perfectly visible, but no giveaway of the name on the back or numbers on the sleeves.  

Fine if you two summon I guess I must go. I’m bringing Beth, my roommate, so you need to behave. She’s already a pretty big hockey fan so I apologize now in advance for any of her crazy. She’s great but gets excited. Also, easy answer: where’s the Ebs jersey? ;) Or I can always wear this one.

You snap a quick shot of your Dallas Stars jersey.

Mat of course chimes in first.

That’s cold Evie, really cold. And that thing? That’s even worse. Who is on there? Do I wanna know?

Then Anthony.

Non. Non. Non. Why do you even have that jersey!?

“You’ve got that look,” Beth pokes at your thigh. “I’ll leave you be for now. Need to be at the arena what 6? We should leave here at 4:30. Worse case we get there early, we can snag a drink nearby. I don’t trust the train or the subway on a Saturday to be on time. Thanks for bringing me, Roomie. I’m excited and I get to meet these boys of yours.”

I have favorites across the league, you both know I liked the sport well before you two came along. I have the appropriate jerseys for my boys. Well, almost. You guys making me choose is mean af. Rock paper scissors it between you both, whoever wins that’s what I’ll wear.

“Just leave her yours, you know you want to no matter who would win at that little challenge of Evie’s,” Anthony smiles as the text comes through, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “And I know you’d pull shit to do it no matter what. She’s really your girl anyway.”

“What…” Mat starts before Anthony jumps in.

“You know it’s never been like that with her for me, dude. She’s awesome and I’m so glad to have her as a friend,” he replies. “You though? Since moment one, she’s been something else for you. You need to make a move. You’ve got game, I’ve seen it.”

“Evie’s. She’s Evie. There’s more there...” he leans back into his locker.

“More reason to then Barzy,” he volleys back. “Come on, get your shit together. We can drop everything to leave for her on the way out.”

[melancholic-pigeon]

bonus wip #1

Because it’s mother’s day and I happen to be writing about Sally’s birthday (which I made up) in a multichapter of mine: a longer excerpt (same one I published last time, plus revisions) to show some appreciation to everyone’s favorite mom. (No context needed.)

In the morning, Paul makes coffee while Estelle helps unwrap. She's at the age where ripping paper makes her squeal with hysterical laughter, which worms its way into Percy's heart and melts it into pudding. 

Several of the presents are from Percy's friends, including a handbound book of original recipes from Leo, a lovely silver bracelet inset with mother-of-pearl that Beckendorf made himself, and a huge sheathed knife with a matching decorative handle from Clarisse. The last one makes his mom snort as she gets up to put it on the bookshelf, out of reach of curious toddler hands. 

"Decorative. Sure." 

"I bet she'd teach you how to use it if you asked." 

"I know how to use a bowie knife, dear. Your father and I used to catch and cook our own fish when we went camping."

"Which reminds me, he still hasn't taken me out," Paul cuts in, frowning. "We've got dad jokes and stories to swap, and you can't teach me to fillet a herring without a herring to fillet."

"I'll bug him about it the next time we talk," Percy promises. "It's probably the ADHD." 

"Do you want me to bug you about bugging him?" 

"If you haven't set something up by blueback season, yeah."

Percy and Paul went in on a pound of jasmine tea, which his mom reaches for next. She immediately asks for a cup— it's one of two days out of the entire year where she lets other people wait on her, for a change, and even that took a lot of cajoling. 

Paul makes the tea, since Percy usually scalds the leaves and it turns out tasting like grass. She probably wouldn't complain anyway, but it's her birthday, and she deserves to have the best tea that can be made in their kitchen. 

"Is the blue bag from Jason?" Paul sets the mug on a coaster in the middle of the coffee table, and Percy scoops the baby into his lap so she doesn't try to grab it. She mashes her toddler hand against his cheek.

"And Thalia. I'm not sure if they went in on stuff or he just packed them both in one bag to make it easy." 

Either is a possibility. He watches as his mom reaches in and pulls out a large frame, her eyes widening as Estelle rips away the paper.

"Please pass on that I am absolutely furious."

She turns the frame around. An autographed vinyl EP of Sign O' the Times by Prince— one of the albums Percy grew up on, though she skipped a few of the songs when he was little, most of which ended up in his library by high school anyway. Thalia must have spent a fortune on it. 

"That woman is incredible," Paul breathes, lightly touching the glass. "How does she even find this stuff?" 

"See!"

"Ebay genius, probably." Percy grins as Estelle reaches for the album, and holds her over the glass so she can touch it too. "She's also really good at barter chains."

His mother shakes her head as she puts the album aside and digs back into the bag. 

This frame is smaller and wrapped in the same paper, with Jason's careful print written out across it. The crinkling sound draws Estelle's attention, and she reaches over to do her job and tear it off.

Their mom gasps and puts a hand to her mouth, her eyes going bright.

It's a watercolor portrait of Percy and Estelle, laughing by the shoreline. She's dressed in a little bucket hat, a ruffled swimsuit patterned to look like a clownfish and the coolest shades in the world— sparkly blue frames shaped like seashells that he kind of wishes he could get in his size. He's in a wetsuit, having spent the morning of his birthday surfing, and he's holding onto her hands so she can jump at the waves. In the distant background is the Montauk lighthouse.

It's beautifully done, like everything else Jason's ever put to paper, but Percy's never choked up like this over one of them. 

"You remember that, Beluga? That was on my birthday, when you came and visited me and Jason at the beach."

"Beach?" she asks, expectant. Paul bursts into laughter. 

"You're your mother's daughter, sweet pea."

"Beach!" Estelle insists. Percy noses her pudgy cheek. 

"It's too cold to swim, baby." His mom's eyes are sparkling, still a little teary. He can see Estelle in the smile on her face. "But we could go for a walk and visit." 

"Brunch first." Paul kisses her— Percy averts his eyes, wrinkling his nose at his sister to make her giggle again— and gets up, heading back into the kitchen. 

It's a lovely way to spend a late morning. Pale blue araucana eggs, courtesy of Grover's new hens; a blueberry coffee cake from Nico by a fantastic hole in the wall in Hell's Kitchen; Paul's signature home fries, made from blue potatoes and seasoned to perfection; all of it delicious.

Jason calls while Percy's doing the dishes. After his deep, resonant performance of the happy birthday song, the five of them chat on speakerphone for a little while, though he has to excuse himself pretty quickly to keep banging through his reading. 

"Maybe next year," Percy sighs. His mom puts her hand on his hip, then crouches down to help Estelle with her light-up sneakers. 

"He's always welcome for a rain check." 

Percy ends up carrying his sister on his hip, snuggled into his jacket to block the chilly sea breeze. She points at seagulls, shouting triumphantly every time. 

"More bird!"

"That's right. A whole flock of 'em."

They watch for a while as the gulls fight over a discarded pizza crust. Then Percy feels an arm around his back and a head against his shoulder.

"I don't know how I got so lucky," his mother murmurs. "I have a wonderful husband, time for my passions and the best two kids in the world." 

Percy's eyes sting. 

For most of his life, her birthdays had been spent without fanfare. He was rarely actually there for them anyway, and Gabe complained so much it was easier to just ignore the day and focus on survival instead. 

She'd been triaging like that since before she even met Percy's dad, keeping herself afloat when nobody seemed to care if she drowned. It would have been easy to lie down and give up. Percy's pretty sure he would have.

He turns to hug her with the obligatory proclamation of a Stella Sandwich, leaning his cheek against the top of his mom's head while his sister wriggles with delight. 

"Luck's got nothing to do with it."

[tinyboxxtink]

“Helpless” *Part 7*

WHOOOOOO buddies, this might be my favorite chapter so far. You’ll see why.... 

Master List

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 8

Tag List

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@dumauier

@chasingeverybreakingwave

----

Olivia, Fin, Carisi and the other blonde detective, Rollins you thought-- came bursting into the kitchen at the noise, only to find you and Rafael standing there like kids with their hands in a cookie jar.

“We uh-- we thought…” Carisi stammered.

“Sorry, we’ll leave ya’ll to it. We’re gonna take off,” Amanda waved goodbye, shoving the rest of them out the door.

“Right...have a nice evening!” you called after them in a cheery voice, but slapped your hands over your face as soon as they were gone. 

“Christ...great, now they’ll be talking too,” you rolled your eyes.

“They’re not high school girls, they don’t gossip,” he scoffed.

“Uh huh...like we’re not high schoolers making out in the back room?”

“Two kisses hardly count as ‘making out’, carino,” He smiled, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Carino means…” 

“Sweetie or honey, I know. Arianna speaks spanish. She calls you abogado,” 

“...You know spanish? Then why did you look at me weird when I called you camarera?” 

“She didn’t teach me, like a Rosetta Stone or something. She just says things randomly in spanish and tells me what they mean,” you explained, suddenly wondering how you got into this conversation.

“I see…”

“Okay this conversation has veered off into some weird little tangent,” 

“I agree, enough talking,” Rafael grinned devilishly, wrapping his arms around you again.

“DOWN, counselor,” you pushed his arms back to his sides. 

“You see this?” you gestured to the mess in front of you. “I gotta remake all of this before I can leave, and it takes FOREVER,”

“Well not if I help,” 

“Yeah OKAY, a big fancy lawyer is gonna sit here and do prep work,” you rolled your eyes, grabbing the onions and tomatoes to slice. Rafael grabbed some knives on a nearby shelf and handed you one.

“I cook, you know,” he took an onion and started chopping.

“Do you? Then why are you in here all the time?”  you raised an eyebrow while grabbing a tomato. 

“It’s not fun cooking for one person,” he replied, not looking up from the board.

“You don’t live with anyone?” The question made Rafael stop chopping and look at you.

“If I had a significant other, do you really think I would be here kissing you? Even pursuing you?” He gave you a look.

“Pursuing me….” you gave him a tongued smile. “I like that,”

“Whatever…” he shook his head with a smile. “The answer is NO; I’m a thirty something something with a very nice job, I live alone,” 

“Mmmmm I’m willing to bet you’re more of a forty something something, but I get it,” You smirked. “That must be nice, I’ve never lived alone,” 

“It gets lonely,” he shrugged.

“Oh yeah I’m sure, in a big penthouse apartment and your many books of mahogany,” 

“...Really?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, I assume rich people have a lot of books, and I’m pretty sure mahogany is fancy…” You blushed, to which Rafael laughed. A real laugh; the crinkles of his eyes and his dimples as big as they were, you hadn’t seen him laugh like that up close before. It was intoxicating. 

“...What? Did I get an onion on my face?” Rafael knocked you from your daze; shit were you staring at him?!

“Wha-- no, nothing. I’m just tired,” you played it off, waving your hands dismissively. 

“Well I know you have the good stuff in here,” He walked away from the cutting board and over to your espresso machine, turning it on.

“Oh come on man, now I have to re-clean that!” You groaned. 

“It’ll be worth it, I promise,” Rafael kissed your cheek as he made cappuccinos for the two of you.

---

About an hour had passed, and you two were finally done re-prepping all the prep work. Rafael had even helped you reclean the espresso machine. You did last minute checks and went outside, where Rafael followed. You locked the front doors and picked up your phone to look at it.

“SHIT, 1:45?! God, Ari must be freaking out,” you frantically looked through your history to make sure she hadn’t tried to call or text. She hadn’t. 

“Well, good night counselor,” You nodded, starting to walk to the subway; Rafael grabbed your hand.

“Oh no no no, I’m not letting you walk home by yourself at 2 am in the middle of New York City,” 

“It’s 1:45, and I’m a big girl. Trust me, I could knife a guy if I had to,” you protested.

“ ….‘knife a guy’,” he rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

“I could! 

“Alright then humor me,” He pulled you around the corner where a town car was waiting.

“How did you--??”

“Uber never sleeps,” he opened the door for you and you slid in the backseat, Rafael slid in next to you.

“So do I just tell him my address or….?”

“I mean, unless you wanna go to mine,” he grinned devilishly again, that sparkle of arousal dancing in his eyes. It was very tempting.

“I….no I can’t, Ari will know,” you looked down, feeling stupid. It was as if Arianna was your mommy and you were out past curfew. Not like the two grown women equals you should be.

You gave the driver your address and he began driving. You felt Rafael put an arm around your shoulder, and for once you let yourself relax into him. You had literally never felt safer in your life, just being curled up next to him. So safe, so warm, so…

“...Y/N?” 

Rafael’s voice awakened you from the nap you apparently had just taken in his arms. 

“Oh...Oh my god! I’m so sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep,” You apologized, fixing his mussed dress shirt where you had been laying on it. There was even the tiniest bit of drool on it; god how embarrassing. 

“You most certainly did, you were even snoring a bit,” He chuckled at the horrified look on your face. “What? It was cute,” 

“God…” You leapt out of the car, trying to get your keys out as fast as you could to get away from this nightmare. 

“Hey, wait up!” Rafael got out of the car and followed you to the door of your building. 

“Okay, I made it home safe. You did your duty, counselor,” you saluted him, to which he took your “saluting” hand in his.

“That’s it? I spent hours chopping up things and cleaning, and all I get is  ‘job well done’?” 

“Well...what else do you want, a medal?” you teased him.

“How about…” He pulled you in for another kiss; and this time, you let him. 

The kiss lasted for what seemed like forever. The chilly New York air blew against your cheap plastic jacket and you shivered. Rafael took his huge pea coat and wrapped it around the two of you while you kissed, making it that more romantic.

Even after you broke apart, your arms were wrapped around his waist inside the jacket, your head pressed against his chest as he kissed your forehead and just held you. You didn’t want to leave him there, you knew for sure you had never felt this safe. With anyone. Not even Arianna. GOD, Arianna. Now you really didn’t want to leave him because you knew you couldn’t see him again; not like this.

Rafael felt something warm against his chest, and he pulled you back a bit from him, only to see you were crying.

“Ay carino...don’t cry, what’s wrong?”

“This is it,” you sniffled. “This is where this ends, and I don’t want it to,” 

Rafael sighed and put his hands on your shoulders, making you look at him. “Hey...this ends, when you say it ends. Not me, not Arianna, you,” 

“Rafael I told you I--” You started, but he put a finger to your lips.

“I told you, I’m not scared of Arianna. I lo--care about you, a lot,” He bit his lip when he stumbled over his words. A micro expression trying to hide the words he really wanted to say-- but you knew that already.

Even though it made zero sense of course, how could two people possibly be in love after a few days. Not even. Maybe your bullshit about a ‘connection’ wasn’t bullshit….not that it mattered anyway because this was never going to work out. Arianna would never let it happen. 

But for some bizarre reason, in that chilly doorway at 2 am, wrapped in Rafael’s coat-- you believed him. You believed that somehow, he was going to make this better. He was going to make it okay. And you were actually going to let him.

“...Okay,” you whispered.

“Okay? Really? Okay? Just like that? I thought I’d have to get on my knees and beg,”

“Do you want me to change my mind or do you wanna kiss me again?”

“Kiss please,” he smiled, pulling you even closer into his coat as he kissed you far deeper this time. He had to make this okay, he had to do something. He just had to. You never wanted to give this feeling up. 

“Give me your phone,” you ordered him this time, and he obliged. You programmed your number and handed it back to him.

“There. Now I can’t ‘ghost’ you,” 

“You can try, I’ll just blow up your phone with links of cute cat videos or something,” he grinned, kissing you one more time.

“Okay, seriously I gotta go upstairs. Arianna’s gonna wake up and see I’m not home,” 

“...Until we meet again then,” he kissed your hand and gave you the biggest smile you had ever seen on a human being. 

You walked inside your building and watched him until he got back into the town car and drove off into the night. Then you took the stairs up to your apartment, practically floating all the way there.

---

When you unlocked the front door to your apartment, you tried tiptoeing through your living room. However, as you reached the two doorways of your rooms, you noticed Arianna’s light was still on. You debated heavily whether or not to check on her, she was never up this late. 

Maybe something had happened? Maybe she was worried about you? 

You peeked open her door, only to see ALL of her stuff strewn about her room in boxes, while she was throwing clothes into a suitcase.

“Oh good! You’re home,” She pulled bras out of her top drawer.

“W-What is all this--” your eyes darted around the room.

“Did you have a nice time with the abogado?” her question made your blood freeze.

“What? Wha--Ari, I told you--” your voice quavered.

“Yeah I know what you told me, and I also know that look of yours,” she laughed and shook her head.

“What look?”

“The same look you had for Bobby DiMucci in 10th grade,” She smirked. “The ‘oh my god I wanna marry you and have all the babies’, look,” she batted her eyes.

“There’s...that’s not--” you scoffed with a laugh.

“But that’s cool! I hope you guys had a very nice time, you certainly seemed to have a very nice goodbye,” She gestured downstairs. FUCK you knew it, she would be watching. 

“Y-You do…?”

“I do! Because we’re leaving,” Arianna grabbed more boxes out of her closet and tossed them at you.

“Wha--we’re-- NO, we’re not,” Your mind started running a million miles a minute, your body began to panic.

“YES, we are,” she stopped packing and walked up to you.

“Whether or not you and the ADA keep playing kissy face, he knows about us. And if he doesn’t take you down, he’s gonna take me down. And I can’t have that,” She explained as she continued packing.

“And I know you don’t wanna choose between us, so I’m choosing for you,” She circled the room, pulling stuff out from under her bed.

“We’re leaving, and you’re never gonna see him again,” She grabbed some of the boxes on her bed and tossed them towards you.

Your blood was boiling, your whole body was shaking. She controlled EVERYTHING in your life, down to what kind of soda you drank, or what TV show you watched. She wasn’t going to control this, she wasn’t going to take him away from you.

“I...Ari, NO,” you softly spoke.

“....Excuse me?”

“I’m not going with you,” you said louder, glaring at her.

 “If--If you wanna run because you think that Rafael is gonna ‘take you down’, which he ISN’T,”  “Then fine. I won’t tell him or anyone where you went. But I’m not going,” 

“God….baby girl,” Arianna dropped the boxes and made a sad pouting face, as if she was feeling bad for you; But then she went for something behind her bed. All of a sudden she was pulling out a gun, and holding it on you.

“Don’t make me do this,” 

“What the FUCK, Arianna? Why do you have a GUN?” You were freaking out, you didn’t know if you should run or throw something or shit your pants.

“Oh for Fuck’s sake Y/N we lived in a CAR, in NEW YORK CITY. Why wouldn’t I have a gun?!” she scoffed, moving closer to you.

“Okay but--but put it down, okay? Please?” You were now crying, basically begging for your life. How did you go from SO safe to now begging for your life?!

“I can’t do that, sweetie. Not until you agree to leave with me. Tonight,” She had tears in her own eyes, you knew she didn’t want to hurt you. She was scared. You knew she would never hurt you. 

“....Please, Arianna. Please don’t do this…” You pleaded through tears, very slowly reaching for the gun.

“YOU’RE DOING IT! YOU are doing this to us!” she screamed, waving the gun in your face. 

“I guess it is sort of my fault, I told you his name. I pushed you towards him. I just didn’t think he’d actually like you back,” she continued in a normal voice.

“Wow, just...wow,” you huffed.

“Not that you’re not wonderful, baby girl. Just...you know, not in his league,” 

“See but you were wrong, Ari. He does like me. No no no, He LOVES me, and I love him,” You were getting bolder now, how dare she start shitting on you and Rafael. That’s all she had done from the start, was tear apart and tarnish what you had. 

“Pffftttt, okay. After what, a few conversations and a few tongues down your throat? Gimme a friggin BREAK,” she scoffed, the gun still pointed at you. 

“Fuck you, it’s real.” You spat, unable to take the bullshit from her anymore. Arianna stared at you in shock; you had NEVER spoken to her like that.

 “And-And And if you DON’T want him coming after us, then this is the stupidest move you could make. Because he’ll fight for me Arianna, he’ll fight for me and he will WIN,” Tears still in your voice, but anger powered over them.

“God, look at you! Look at what he’s DONE to you. To us. It’s always been US, Y/N. Me and you, Bert and Ernie! Thelma And Louise! Bonnie And Clyde!” She gestured between the two of you wildly.

“NO, it’s been you using me,” you scoffed.

“Is that what he said?” She turned the gun sideways.

“It’s the truth!” you argued.

“NO IT’S NOT, and once we get out of here, you’ll forget about him. I promise, and then we can be happy again. Okay?” She had a psychotic smile, pulling you in for a hug, the gun pressed against your back. You had to get out of here.

“...Okay, Ari,” you finally gave in, throwing your hands up in defeat. You looked up at her with the saddest eyes you could muster, trying to convince her she had you beaten down once again. She hugged you again, and let you go. But she held tight to the gun. 

“I’ll go pack,” you grabbed some boxes and took them into your room. As soon as you heard Arianna resume packing, you ducked beside your bed and dialed Rafael’s number.

“Please pick up, please please please….”

[howlingday]

About Jaune ships...

I have opinions. You may not agree, but they are mine. They may change in time, but not now.

LANCASTER ( RUBY X JAUNE )

The old tried and true. I mean, what's not to like? Cute girl falls for first guy she meets at Beacon? Classic romance trope, and after reading how much Ruby loves romance stories (I consider certain parts in the manga canon), it makes sense. In fact, after Arkos sank (A moment of silence, please . . . Thank you), many moved to Lancaster, which isn't bad. Happens all the time in fandoms. Sad thing, though, is far I think she'll last. If we're talking Volume 5 or earlier, then maybe. However, I feel if Ruby were to have an endgame in romance, it would be RoseGarden (I have opinions on that as well, but today isn't the day to discuss that), mostly because Oscar bumped Jaune's role from male lead to male side. Not to mention that while Jaune is becoming a beast in his own right, Ruby is a different creature altogether and evolving her character more rapidly and chaotically than anyone else (Must be all that screentime).

TLDR: I want it to be canon, but I might just be hoping.

WHITE KNIGHT ( WEISS X JAUNE)

Doofus in tin foil meets princess who hates daddy (Am I in the romance section of the library? You know, the corner for adults only?) No, but I do like this ship. I'm always a sucker for the fantasy genre, and using a zero to hero male makes it relatable. I also kind of ship it because the same reason I ship NaruSaku in the Naruto fandom: he likes her and he's willing to go the distance. But enough about that; instead let's talk about canon. Will they hook up? It's a soft maybe for me, for two reasons. 1. Rosegarden is most likely to be endgame, and after Ruby and Pyrrha, I'd say Weiss is Jaune's next to be his love interest. 2. Weiss has warmed up to Jaune. Sure, not lover or crush level (Yet), but she's definitely changed her opinion on him. In Volume 1, Jaune was bugging her, like all the time, which I could see as him getting mixed signals on (Exhibit A: Tall, blonde, and scraggly). When Volume 5 came around, everyone jumped onboard because he saved her life (Don't lie, because I'll admit that I did it, too). Not the best reason, but still reason enough, I'd say. Then in Volume 7, she hangs out with him and Oscar to the movies (It was either that or awkward Bumbleby all night. I feel ya, sister). Nothing romantic happens, but it does show how much their relationship has developed. If Weiss is Jaune's endgame, then they have set the pieces up perfectly to do so.

TLDR: High likelihood to be canon and I'm a sucker for Knight/Princess ships.

KNIGHTSHADE ( BLAKE X JAUNE)

This is the part where I say definitely not. Not in a million years, but I'll explain why I like the ship, though. As for why it won't work, the answer is Bumbleby. They haven't kissed yet, but you know they're going to eventually (Because if they don't, the fans will attack like a swarm of hornets). But here's the question you might be asking now: why do I ship this? Well, it's part of the allure of "opposites attract" ('Cause I'm dressed like a cat!). Blake is an intelligent, outspoken, and agile ninja with a criminal history of terrorism who spends her free time reading novels. Jaune is a B at best on his tests, soft-hearted, and ground-based knight who's worst crime is fraud (Still a crime, but peanuts compared to literal terrorism) and spends his free time hanging out with his team. Day and night. But they also tried that with Sun for a season and a half and it didn't last (BECAUSE BEES).

TLDR: Not even a snowball's chance in the summer sun, but so much story potential if you do (Which I do)!

DRAGONSLAYER ( YANG X JAUNE )

This, I would say, is the opposite of Knightshade, where Jaune is the day and Blake is night, here Yang is the Sun and Jaune is the Moon (Like their crests! Remember those? Y'know, when they were relevant?) Will it work? Even less so than Knightshade. However, it does open up some interesting paths considering how... provocative Yang can be, and Jaune, compared to the other guys, is the nerdiest, geekiest dude at Beacon. It's like the cheerleader/nerd romance, except the cheerleader is the captain of every sports team... and rides a motorcycle. The Volume 8 preview introduced us to Yang and Jaune riding motorcycles and we went nuts over it. Yang was back in her element, roaring down the street, riding on walls, popping off tricks with Oscar riding- Back to what I was saying, people were asking, "How did he know how to ride a motorcycle?" and the elementary answer is "He didn't." He almost fell off his bike from a small box in the road. True, anyone would, but look at how he reacts: he stiffens, he refocuses on the road. This kid literally started riding at breakfast, and I DARE you to prove me wrong. But hey, great fic material right there, though, eh?

TLDR: Never gonna happen, but I don't care. All I care about is writing that they love each other. And they also fu-!

ARKOS ( PYRRHA X JAUNE )

I'm sorry, I need a moment. . . . Alright. Do it for her. This ship... was perfect. Probably the best ship out them all. I legit almost cry every time I think about Volume 3. Pyrrha was everyone's favorite. Her background, her interactions, her choreography, everything! But, of course, like everything in our lives, she was too good to be true. But let's honor her memory by talking about her ship, Arkos. Pyrrha was the champion of the world, the Brothers' and Oums' gift to Remnant. She could do no wrong and she HATED it. Her plight was with how she was seen. Everybody knew her! Everybody, except Jaune. And he only figured out she was "a big deal" was because Weiss had to spell it out for him! As time went on, they became the best of friends, two peas in a pod, the perfect odd couple! They worked together and trusted each other, they cared for and supported each other, they lo- No. No, I can't say it. It's been years, and it still hurts. So, I'll explain something else: the reason why Jaune SHOULD NOT be shipped right now. That reason is Pyrrha. Jaune was helpless to save her. He's suffering from survivor's guilt and he's still grieving. In Volume 4, he would sneak away and train until late at night to scroll recording of her. In Volume 5, he confronted Cinder and got Weiss almost killed because he let his grief for Pyrrha take control of him and let his emotions run wild. In Volume 6, he finds the Pyrrha statue and he... I don't know how to say this, but he let's go. He accepts that Pyrrha is gone and he's starting the healing process. He's finally ready to move forward.

TLDR: T.T I never felt that it was wise to wish too much~

MARTIAL ARCS ( REN X JAUNE)

I'll be honest, I don't really ship it. Yeah, it's cute, and it falls perfectly into the "if I had to pick a guy" part of me, but to be honest, I don't ship it. 10% because Renora and 90% it just doesn't click with me. They both just seem too soft, too quiet, too introverted. Best friends? Yes, definitely! But lovers? Eeeeeh, not really.

TLDR: I will only ship as neccessary.

NORA'S ARC ( NORA X JAUNE )

I've only just got in this deep with the fandom only recently, so I don't know if a lot of you know me. Heck, I'm probably just some RWBY fan you happen to spot as you move through your dash. However, old or new, I want to be made absolutely positively clear on this. Of all the ships here, this has got to be my-

O T FUDGIN' P

Wow! Never thought I'd feel so strongly about a crack ship like this. And yes, as sad it is to say, this is a crack ship. Renora was planned from day one, so it can't be helped. At least it didn't blast me in the face all of the sudden (OH NO, NOT THE BEES! AAAAARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!). But why this ship? Well, for one thing, it's that whole opposites attract thing with Nora as the bubbly, outspoken, airhead powerhouse and Jaune as the soft spoken, introverted, nerd tactician. But wait, there's more to this trope, because it can go deeper: Order VS Chaos! Who makes all the messes? Who cleans up those messes? Who follows all the rules? Who makes their own doors? It's just. So. Damn! GOOD! One sad thing about this ship though is that it's not only not canon because of Renora, it's anti-canon because Renora. Every fan fic of Nora's Arc requires an explanation for Ren and Nora to not be together-together, like you have to write a formal apology to the FNDM for liking something that's different from what is canon or commonly accepted. If that's the case, then I'll be the anarchist here!

TLDR: I LOVE IT! What's that? Not canon? Who gives a damn?! I just explained why Jaune won't be shipped anyways! Now, if you'll excuse, I have some fan fics to find.

ARCFALL ( CINDER X JAUNE )

Oh, here it goes! Now, if we're talking ships that'll never happen, this is where we find better reasons than "it's not canon" and "character development". No, this... This is a declaration of war. Allow me to explain. Cinder Fall is evil. Like, down to her core. She wants power and she'll cut through anyone to get to it. Including Pyrrha. This woman sank Arkos by means other than "X and Y kissed, so..." She killed X, leaving Y alone. And her interactions with Jaune tell me she wouldn't even be worth a hate-bang. But, as Momma always, there's a thin line between love and hate. This is where the appeal comes in. Cinder is evil with no past, which leaves the previous chapter's of her life story blank to be filled in. Jaune is good with a troublesome, albeit easy past, but untapped potential for more. It's another opposites attract, but different from INTRO VS EXTRO and CHAOS VS ORDER; this is GOOD VS EVIL. Who will win this battle of wills; will our hero purify the tainted heart, or will he slip deeper into darkness, never to return to the light?

TLDR: Should be a NOTP, and yet the allure pulls me in.

What do y'all think? Do you agree? Let me know!

[rosesloveletters]

Self-Shipping Reference.

I have been debating on creating a self-shipping reference for these two, but since I am certain of our dynamic at this point, I wanted to delve right in; I love Will and Jakob so very much and I wanted to create a little collection of our relationship like I’ve done before in the past. Most of all, this is for me so that I can have it as a reference, so there is absolutely no obligation to interact with this post. If you do, thank you for showing us so much love and care, I really appreciate it more than anything. This community is so welcoming of self-shipping and that means a lot to me<3.

last updated: June 17, 2021

please do not read if you are not interested in or comfortable with self-shipping.

word count: 2,908

Ship name?

Our collective ship name is Grimmrose, for obvious reasons (my poly heart can hardly take it😭✨💛) 

I do not feel I should need to say this (as it should already be implied), but since I do not want angry anons in my ask box about this, I will state: Will and Jakob are not romantically involved in our dynamic; the love they have for each other is familial only. They both share me, but that is as far as it goes. There is absolutely no incestuous aspects of our relationship. 

Date you got together?

Jakob: May 26, 2021. The open honesty and security within our vulnerabilities were what prompted Jakob and I to jump in headfirst. We knew how we felt almost immediately; Jakob believes in love at first sight and I value that sentiment. It was a mutual understanding that the two of us were meant to be together (even if I hadn’t already known, the darling would have convinced me - he is extremely persuasive and given to a dreamer’s mindset.) The two of us easily came to an agreement on beginning a relationship because of how similar we have found ourselves to be. It was not difficult to access what each other was thinking and how we chose to approach those thoughts and feelings. Jakob is driven by those, after all, and his bright spirit and general interest in the things that cannot be so easily explained drew me to him. 

Will: 

Platonic:  May 26, 2021.

 Romantic: June 14, 2021. 

Will was, to my surprise, not as difficult to access as I expected. He has a much different personality to Jakob’s; the two are near opposite ends of the spectrum. Will’s mission has been to protect Jakob, mostly from himself, but Jakob does not understand that the reason Will is so hard on him is because Will feels helpless around him. Jakob’s mind is so bright and open, while Will does not understand how to compete with that nor how to understand or fit into Jakob’s world of folklore and mythical, magical beings. He feels weak in comparison to Jakob’s spirit; Will values my ability to cross those lines and connect with both him and Jakob. Will has never known another to be so well-suited for his brother and he is respectful of how we interact, since until now he has been the only one who has been able to reach Jakob. We were platonic for several weeks out of respect for Jakob, but soon entered into a mutual agreement to share the love that we all have for each other; the brothers agreed to share me since they have both developed such strong feelings. 

Favorite personality trait?

Jakob: His sense of security within vulnerabilities. Jakob is more given to childlike excitement and the thrill of action whenever it is of a magical quality. He fidgets, has a distinct nervous energy/uncomfortable body language, a clear mind but one that fancies fiction over reality. Whenever he drinks, he’s giddy and excited; the only one who can get through to him in these moments are Will and I. The thing is, Jakob has never tried to be anybody but himself. He is aware that these qualities are not valued by the vast majority and are perhaps seen as weaknesses or even are simply frowned upon (much of this he experienced as a result of the way Will treated him over the years), but even all of that has never caused his personality to shift or made him close himself off. Jakob has always found security within who he is, regardless of whether those around like it or not.

Will: His protective commitment to those who he loves. Even though Will canonically admitted his frustrations over Jakob and how he “hates” his younger bother, stating how Jakob “drives him mad”, he is fiercely protective of him and committed to maintaining their relationship in spite of any disagreements or arguments. Will does not give up on those he loves. Even though it would have made sense for him to toss Jakob into the streets and leave him if he truly hates him, but Will does not. Despite his confession, he has never actually hated his brother; Jakob makes him feel weak, helpless and inferior because Jakob’s comprehension of things beyond Will’s understanding or compulsion to understand or look beyond what is right in front of him is too different and unusual to him. 

Favorite physical trait?

Jakob: His eyes. Jakob’s eyes are so expressive; they sparkle in the light and his irises twinkle. His soul appears as if it were made from stardust and every bit of him glows. His eyes reflect the innocence and playful mischief bound within him; he is a dreamer at heart and his eyes mirror that. 

Will: His smile. There is a scene when Jakob and Will first arrive at Marbaden and they are confronted by the townspeople with weapons, uncertain of who these two strangers are, and when Will tries to explain who they are his smile is simply dazzling. I believe that was the moment I found myself in love with him; I have not seen a smile so bright in a long time. Here’s a screenshot of his smile (Jakob’s expression in the background is so funny😂):

Couple song

We do not have a couple song yet; we have couple albums. 

Taylor Swift’s albums Folklore and Evermore are sister albums, so it only makes sense that they are representative of the two brothers respectively: Folklore for Jakob and Evermore for Will. 

Both albums are suited to the three of us; the feelings provoked from both establish the tone of our relationship. 

Pet peeves…

There is only one: their constant bickering/arguing and fights. It is natural for siblings to fight, but the longer I spend with these two, the more consistently they seem to fight in front of me. I do not believe the fighting affects their relationship as perhaps it did in the past; they seem very content, even after they’ve been fighting a while, and neither of them holds a grudge anymore. 

Favorite outfit on them?

I will share photos since it would take some time to explain in enough detail; I am a sucker for older/medieval clothing (perhaps this is why this movie spoke to me in such a way?)

These are my favorite outfits of theirs:

their armor is a close second, because it really makes me laugh:

Favorite meal?

Jakob: This bit is indicative of all of us and I was the one who introduced the brothers to this meal - vegetable soup; beef/broth, noodles, peas, carrots, tomatoes, corn, green beans, potatoes. The brothers are used to eating whatever is being served them at the pubs they visit and the inns at each town they stay and, needless to say, are not often prepared a meal especially one to their specific tastes. The first time I made this for them, they ate heartily and it has been their favorite since. 

Will: This is less of a specific meal and more of a eating habit of his, but Will is partial to sweet treats and desserts of all kind. His favorite treat is soft bread with a sticky, sugary glaze (wait until I tell him about glazed donuts😂) 

Early bird or night owl?

Neither of the Grimms are particularly one or the other. They both have been known to stay awake all hours of the night for one reason or another; Jakob stays up writing most nights when brand new ideas flood his mind and prevent sleep. He works whenever inspiration strikes and if that is the middle of the night, then Will or I will find him hunched over his desk, pen scratching away across the page as he squints to read what he has written under the low candlelight. 

Will stays awake late born out of a habit he has yet to change. He does not like to sleep very soundly until he knows that Jakob and I are either asleep or keeping each other company; Will takes responsibility of us quite seriously. Since we’ve begun a relationship, they do not go out as much as they once had and when we do, they are awake nearly the entire night and whenever they crash, they are both out cold. 

If I wake up throughout the night, Jakob sleeps so soundly that he would not know (he wears earplugs if we’re staying at an inn because the noise bothers him.) Will always wakes up whenever I do; the shifting around wakes him, but he does not usually open his eyes or speak to me until I come back to bed and he settles me back into my spot. 

Snorer or sleep talker?

Jakob: SLEEP TALKER! Jakob talks in his sleep nearly every night, most especially if he has had something to drink beforehand or if Will has gotten under his skin about something. Stress/anxiety also trigger it; I don’t hear him often, because he only does it in a deep sleep which is usually whenever I’ve already fallen asleep. 

Will: Will does not snore or talk in his sleep; he is unusually quiet, however, he will groan or mumble softly if he’s turning over or something like that. He does not move a lot when he’s sleeping either. 

Do you have any pets together?

No, our lifestyle is not suited to pets, unless horses used for transportation count. 

Pet names! (Both from them and yours for them)

Will’s for me: little one/little girl, peanut

Jakob’s for me: sweetheart, darling, lover

Mine for Jakob: Jakey, Beanstalk (turning Will’s mean comments into something sweet💕), Dreamer, Sweetie/Sweet One/Sweet Baby

Mine for Will: Blondie, Prince Charming (only in certain scenarios)

Ones Jakob and Will use collectively for me: Briar Rose, Rosebud, Unicorn, Beauty/Belle (a play off my favorite fairytale), Princess

Ones I use collectively for Jakob & Will: Grimmy

How often do you fight? What starts fights?

I have yet to have any fights with either of the brothers (though I have had mild disagreements with Will over the way he speaks to Jakob.)

Jakob and Will fight often and about everything, but more often than not, the source of the argument is their personality difference. Their interests clash significantly and they find it difficult to coexist at times because Will feels he must fill the role of Jakob’s caretaker, while Jakob simply wants Will to be his brother and believe in him. 

I usually do not get involved in their squabbles unless Will speaks out of turn. He can be somewhat hateful in the remarks he makes to his brother and I am not afraid to set the record straight. Jakob has gotten much better at standing up for himself; he is not afraid to get physical if things escalate to that point, though I have yet to see them lay a hand on each other. Jakob knows that one swift punch is all that he needs to deliver for Will to fall in line and understand that he is serious; he saves them for when he needs them and has only punched Will outright one time, that I am aware of. 

Who apologizes first?

This depends on who feels they are “wrong”. Will does not like to apologize, so usually it is Jakob who initiates the apology. Occasionally, neither will apologize and it is implied that they both have and things will continue on like normal as if nothing ever happened (this is best case scenario.) 

I have not known them to simply not apologize to each other for wrongdoing; Will has apologized to Jakob on a number of occasions where I have been present. If Will apologizes, it is usually for speaking too harshly to Jakob or bringing up the “magic beans” he has terrorized Jakob with for years. 

Big spoon or little spoon?

Jakob: Jakob adores being the little spoon. Even though he likes to hold onto me at night, nothing seems to compare to being held. Jakob has gone the majority of his life without being shown affection and tender love; he is so touch-starved that he asks to be held almost every night. 

Will: Will is the only F/O (aside from J) who I allow to be the big spoon on a regular basis. I trust him implicitly and know that he will keep me safe; he likes to hold onto me while we sleep so that he knows and can feel he isn’t alone. He does not like to sleep whenever it is too cold and he wants a warm body pressed against him. 

Dom or sub?

Jakob: Submissive.

Will: Dominant.

Will has had his misgivings over Jakob and I, both being submissives, entering into a relationship together, but it has not presented an issue so far. Most of the time, Jakob and I love all over each other so it doesn’t matter one way or another😂 It is rare for Jakob and I to be sexually intimate. 

Will takes on the more dominant role, since he has been so with Jakob over the years of their lives before they’d met me. Will is the nurturer and takes care of us both; he remains protective of us despite certain insecurities and fears. Will takes on more of the sexual responsibilities of their relationship with me because of his experience with women.

What are their kisses like?

Jakob: Jakob’s kisses begin as achingly shy, reverential ones that develop into slowly sensual, spontaneous or exploratory ones. Jakob likes to hold my hands when we kiss and I like the way his facial hair pleasantly scratches my face; he is always extremely gentle and never oversteps. I especially love when he kisses me with such eager impulsivity that our cheeks turn red and we laugh when it’s over. 

Will: Will’s kisses can either be covetous and greedy, fervent, and deeply passionate or chaste and flirtatious. He always cups my cheeks, chin or tangles his fingers in my hair at the back of my head while kissing me; his lips often taste sweet or sugary from how often he indulges on sweets. My favorite of Will’s kisses are the languid, open-mouthed ones when he uses his tongue. 

What do they smell like?

Jakob: Parchment, books and ink, candlewax, earth just after it has rained, sweet basil, a vaguely sweet musk, warm skin.

Will: Warm sugar, sweat/spicy musk, pine, flame. 

What are their hugs like?

Jakob: Bear-like, full-bodied, fiercely affectionate and warm. 

Will: Long, tight, unexpectedly powerful and almost needy. 

Who is more protective?

Will. 

Both brothers are fiercely protective of me and I know that, in spite of their differences, neither would ever let anything happen to me. As long as they are facing danger together, they would willingly take on any enemy (Jakob would never let Will face danger alone and vice versa.)

Interested in children?

No. Will says that Jakob and I are enough like children as it stands😂

Who needs the most TLC when sick?

Will AND Jakob. They are both huge babies whenever they are sick and all they want is to be taken care of. Surprisingly, they bicker a lot more whenever they’re sick; mainly, they fight over who gets to cuddle me first.

Whenever I am sick, I tend to react the same way and the brothers are more than obliged to take care of me in any way they are able. Will takes the more ‘hands-on’ work like fetching me a drink, food, blankets, etc. and helping me move about as I need. Jakob does not like to leave my side and he will not do so unless instructed by Will and he will fetch me whatever is needed and then return to cuddle with me. 

Who says ‘I love you’ first?

I was the first one to say ‘I love you’ to either of the brothers. I told Jakob first; we nearly admitted it at the same time. We knew how we both felt upon the first of our meetings. 

It took me a while to say ‘I love you’ to Will. Our relationship began platonically; I did not feel comfortable saying so to him until I spoke with Jakob about it first. Intuitive of human emotions is he and he was already well-aware of how we felt about each other and, with his blessing and consent, the brothers agreed to share the love and, well, me. 

Which of you is more accident prone?

I bet you’re thinking either me or Jakob. WRONG! It’s Will. Jakob and I are very steady on our feet because we are full of rambunctious energy; Will is more laid back than either of us and he gets more indignant whenever he does accidentally hurt himself. 

Bed hog?

Jakob is more of a bed hog than Will or I. He is consistently moving around in his sleep, talking, etc. There is one unspoken rule: Jakob sleeps on the left side of the mattress, I am in the middle and Will is on the right. Both use me as a barrier and do not cross to the other’s side of the bed at any point and they each take turns cuddling with me until we all fall asleep. 

Who loves the other the most?

As if it even needs to be said, we all love each other equally, but in different ways. Jakob’s and Will’s relationship and love for each other is strictly familial, while the brothers’ relationships with me are both romantic. 

Will understands and accepts that my relationship with Jakob takes priority, as we began ours first and I am unspokenly Jakob’s above all else. Any and all major decisions are made between Jakob and I; we of course always consider Will’s emotions, well-being, etc. but Jakob prefers to take the reins in terms of calling the shots, in spite of Will being the dominant and more protective one. He feels like Will owes him this and Will is happy to allow his brother this courtesy, considering this is Jakob’s first true relationship. 

[huenjin]

2020 year end greetings.

disclaimer: this is going to be very long ( ˶ ❛ ꁞ ❛ ˶ ), but that's how much gratitude i have and so much more of love.

2020. ah, this year was a very emotional journey for me and how i wish i could sing jessi's gucci all throughout. however, that was not the case. tumblr helped me run away from all those irl miseries. these people made me feel at home.

this skz writing blog has been existing from the last few days of september and it came to life when i was losing motivation to write on my main (which i closed down because stray kids made me like writing back again) and it's stayed since then. you guys have stayed since then. grateful, a one hundred times and more.

so, this is rue, getting sappy and so much more thankful for everything i have and recieved with this blog. this is rue, asking you to accompany me for a little more and to listen to the stories i have to share. the is rue with heart full of nothing but love for each one of you.

to each one of my mutuals, for whom i pray to the stars to shower you with nothing but fortune —

@sinisterlyhan ♡ eiko, best thing i ever did was hit you up. how are you always so calm? or at least that's the tone i have in my head when i read your texts. it's so pleasant to talk to you. ily. and let me get started on your writing — you've heard this from me like every day but ma'am, you make magic. you lace stars together to form such a beautiful constellation of a writing and i fall in love a little more. thank you for inspiring me to always do better!

the hyunsung demon!au (whew!) — 01. 02. 03.

this hyunjin bad boy!au

@mochinnie ♡ isa, how i wish you handled yourself with a little more care. you're so fragile and delicate and i just want to protect you ?? so much ??? you're precious and one of the most beautiful people i have met. your characterisation is just perfect and god, i wish i could once write headcanons like you do. thank you for being my friend and for fangirling to me and for loving me. it means the world. psst, ily.

this seungmin fic

querencia | hh

@sparklemin ♡ nara!!!! big brain nara! god i love how your asks make my whole day and how you bring up different minho agendas in my head. you have my whole heart and i'm in love with you bye

girlfriend | bcn

hidden confession | bcn

@bearseungmin ♡ dawnie babie thank you for being such an enthusiast all the time while talking. you're so cheerful and happy and thank you for being this nice <33

beat it to the door | bcn

could listen to you read the dictionary | lfl

@chogiout ♡ yah, kira! sometimes i want to whack the back of your head like i whack my sister's, okay? it's the same kinda sibling love with you. fuck, not ever going to let you leave me. after all, my parents taught me to take responsibility of the stuff i rid innocence of. (lmao, sorry, bitch ily!!)

memoir | jyh

this youth of craziness | csn

@mikoto-ica-fics ♡ mi, bb! thank you for being so supportive. istg, if it weren't for you reblogging that one fic of mine, my fics would have never seen light to this day. it's easy to get lost in the tags hehe. and then i happen to text you and omg, aren't you the nicest ever? i love your story ideas, the way you write, the way you interact with people and thank you for talking to me. you make me want to be better.

entangled | lmh, hjs

power grab | hjs

@toffee-hwa ♡ ana! anaaaa~ you're so enthusiastic and supportive and fuck, i looooove ranting and fangirling to you! and the minute i know you're watching the same kdrama as i am, i just go like wheeeeeee— HAN SEOJUN!!! lmao, but thank you so much for talking to me, for listening and for caring! my romanian queen, you pretty human, you're the best!

yet, pt.i

yet, pt.ii

@chandisiacs ♡ yah, pav! must i drag you back to tumblr from twt? must i? i miss you. i really do and i can't wait to have your arse back here. thank you for being such a lively person to talk and hang out with, eee! and not at how you succeeded nano! inspirational! thank you x

thread of all your legendary aus

starboy | bcn

@unsaidhj ♡ you're so soft. and god i love you? and your aesthetics. it's a thing, ma'am. i existed to see your aesthetics lmao. and then i text you and you're so kind omg. i could never hate you so please, ma'am, stop telling me that in panic? huihui, ily and i hope you stay healthy. place yourself first, bb.

knife under my pillow | hhj

scammer, scammed | bcn

@sleepylixie ♡ yo, neighbor! you reminded me how small the world can actual get! love love talking to you about irl stuff because you can understand how messed up it is! and you're so kind, ah!!

in umbra

passion's abyss | lmh

@dreamyhan ♡ one of the few people i see on my dash and go like — hazeeeeeeeeel! you're just so nice, god. like if cotton candy was a person, it would be you, alright? and then there's your writing ability that skyrocket off the roofs because it is that good. thank you for being so supportive and nice to me! x

next time | bcn

in his arms | hjs

@itsapapisongo ♡ boy, my main man, javi!! your work was once my most favorite thing to listen to. loved how the mall worked and everything. and then there's how supportive you are like omg. if only i could explain the courage you give me. it's infinite. you make me feel infinite. also, #hardhours, right?

george of the jungle

swimming fool

@kabira ♡ typing the url down was even more romantic, manx. don't ever change this. love how strong and bold you are. love your opinions and love your writings even more. you're one of those few people who write like they mean every word from their heartstrings. thank you for providing us with stories to tell for eons. x (psst, ily so much!)

backstreet driving | hhj (that's the first skz fic i read because it was from you and not because it was skz and aren't i glad?)

sic semper tyrannis | lty

@dalknow ♡ the only other person on tumblr that i text religiously on discord. i love talking to you, bb. love getting personal with you. love how i can share absolutely anything. thank you for trusting me. thank you for listening to me. thank you for loving me. can't wait for you to put your stories back up on this acc. you're undefeatable and i know you'll have that known.

to each one of my anons, for whom i pray that you stay safe and healthy and most importantly, happy —

🧸 :: put you on the anon list because in my head you are that anon — my very first one and the one that lit up my whole world. it's kind of a very proud moment when someone wants to talk to you. you made me feel that. you made feel loved. and to see how well your blog is doing now, god, i feel like a proud mother.

🐠 :: my greek princess. the fact that i learnt more about breads from you than from my school makes me laugh hehe. you really did light up my world with every ask you sent me and had me unknowingly hope that you are happy in every minute. and now that i know who you are, i'm even more content because you're a mutual too now!

🍧 :: god, you have a special place in my heart, ice cream anon! maybe because you liked me more than my fic and followed me here even though you were an anon from my bts blog. fuck, if that didn't make my heart flutter, nothing ever will! (hush, your relationship is something i am still rooting for!!)

🦊 |🌹| 🥀 | 🛸 :: the way you guys keep checks if i'm staying hydrated and healthy. i am. and even when i wasn't, your asks made me go drink a cup of water ha! thank you for loving me x

tiktok anon :: ♡♡♡♡♡♡ yes idk what else to say to you but that i would give you a piece of my heart. your tiktok asks make my whole day. it's something i look forward too! thank you for always making my day!

and to my other anons, tagged or untagged :: thank you for sending me an ask. every single one, either telling me to stay happy or hydrated, or that my fic was great or that you're feeling extra horny that day (we've all been there!) i appreciate it and thank you for making me smile! x

to all the mutuals that i admire, look upto and wish we talked waaaay more, let's do it soon please! and to some mutuals that i just miss talking to! —

@nightshade-minho (ily! x nicest bean ever!!) :: @satanssmuts :: @lovebini :: @seraplantery :: @xiaojunssmile :: @chan-skz :: @chanluster :: @decembermoonskz :: @bangtantaegi (queen!!) :: @yunhozone (i miss you!!) :: @inkigayeo :: @vocalyunho

i hope each one of you stay happy, content and loved. my memory is pea sized and so i do pray that i haven't forgotten any! thank you for being my mutuals, for sharing laughter and talks with me for these months i've been here! i’m sorry if i missed anyone, but i seriously do appreciate everyone that i’ve ever talked to on here though! i hope to see you all next year and let's be happy together !!

with much love, x rue!