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sir-silly · 4 years ago

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TWDG S4 First Playthrough

E1 - Ohh how I’ve missed these characters. S4 isn’t flawless, but I love it so freaking much. The collectables are one of my favorite parts, tbh. I’m such a simp for Louis and that’s never gonna change, ngl. He’s so cute and caring and ugh. I need me one of those. Clem is so damn lucky.

Unsurprisingly, I’m the worst at controlling this season in particular. I’m not used to the mouse sensitivity being so high with the camera when you’re walking around but I can’t change it because then it’ll be different when I’m picking choices and stuff. I freaking suck at all of the kill walker scenes, I seriously died like 5 times clearing them out to help the hunting party. I’m concerned about when I have to help James at his camp lol.

The confrontation with Marlon at the end is so damn good. I just always find it so perfect and well done. Also, Louis helping AJ up when he gets pushed down is so fucking sweet. I love him so much. Appealing to him really hit hard and seeing that “Your relationship with Louis has changed” is just oof. I know what CJ has been talking about all this time now lol.

E2 - All of the cuts when Clem and AJ are talking at the beginning are freaking gorgeous. Like, with them standing in the same exact position with the background flashing are just MMMMM. That was really, really well done.

Fuck Lilly. Fuck her trying to help Clementine stand up. She makes me so damn angry. And Abel twisting AJ’s arm and Clem begging for him to stop just breaks my heart. It makes me wonder how much of these interactions Violet and Louis saw, because they would have known to turn around the second they heart that first gunshot. Like, while they were sneaking up, what all did they hear? I told Vi to shoot Lilly because, once again, fuck her.

I’m still so damn bad at the walker killing scenes. It’s honestly sad how terrible I am at them, like, I don’t know why I struggle so much. I think a part of it is that in previous seasons, it would only be like 2 or 3 walkers, meanwhile in S4, it’s like 5 or 6. It’s also probably the fact that we have to control both the camera and Clem’s movements. I just can’t do both.

James is cute. I love him. He’s a sweet boi. Louis carrying AJ in is cute. I love him. He’s a sweet boi. When they get upstairs and AJ calls for Clem, he just sounds so scared and it hurts me. He’s still just a little kid and I couldn’t imagine my cousins that are his age going through these kinds of things.

The banter between Clem, Ruby and Mitch at the greenhouse is so cute and wholesome. Like, Ruby saying that condensation is a big word for Mitch and him daring Clementine to drink whatever is in the vials with her saying “not in a million years.” It’s just so sweet and so similar to modern jokes between friends, it just makes me so happy.

Also, Mitch is one strong boi. Like, Clem is strong, don’t get me wrong. She fuckin chops down trees and pushes adults off of balconies, but she couldn’t get that damn propane tank to budge, meanwhile Mitch comes over and picks it up with one hand. It reminds me of Peeta in The Hunger Games with how he could throw bags of flour over his shoulders super easily.

Another also, the way Mitch says propane annoys me lol. He puts the emphasis on the O instead of the A, so it’s prOpane instead of propAne. It’s just always bothered me and I had to complain about it lmao. Ruby is cute. I love her. She’s a sweet gorl.

AJ asking to sleep in Clem’s bed, her saying she’s still little, and him saying he slept better with her are just so damn cute. I freaking love their relationship so damn much. They’re just so sweet together and I can’t help but gush over them.

Louis talking about Marlon while shooting arrows is just a great scene to me, no matter how short it is. I don’t understand how people can still hate him so much when he explains how close they were and how guilty he feels, not just about kicking Clem and AJ out, but his role in Marlon’s death.

In the previous seasons, I think players became really desensitized to a character losing someone. 1 was honestly pretty good with Kenny’s loss of Duck and Katjaa with his anger and hyperfixations, 2 was a mess with Luke losing literally everyone he knows and being like “meh”, and 3 was also really bad with how Mari, Gabe and David can all die and three days later, Kate’ll still be like “let’s start a family uwu.” I think because of all this, people were really hard on Louis when he reacted like a normal human being over Marlon, which really sucks.

During the card game, when Louis reassures AJ about not being there for the old world and he and Clem kinda nod at her, is so ffffucking cute. I’ll never get over that. They shared a similar look their first night when he gave AJ the rest of his soup even though he was clearly super hungry. I cherish these looks between them and for once, it almost seems unbalanced with Violet lol. Like, I don’t feel like you get those looks with Violet no matter what you choose like you do with Louis those first two episodes. And Louis teasing Aasim about Ruby is really adorable.

And of course, helping him tune the piano is just UGH. He’s so damn cute and I can’t get over it. The scene has some of my favorite interactions between him and Clem. One, where he’s like “How do you feel about our imminent deaths?” and she doesn’t say anything and he says, “You know I’m here for you.” and it’s so CUTE. Two, he has her blow on the strings, she says “I can’t believe I fell for that.” while laughing and he goes, “It’s good to see you like this.” Like, how damn sweet is this boy? He sees that she puts on just as much of a cold exterior as he does with a humorous one, realizing that they both let their guards down around each other. Three, Clem calling Louis a weirdo and him saying that she likes that so in reality, they’re both weird.

Another thing I’ll never get over is Mitch’s death. It makes me hella salty and just grrrr. LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY!!!!

E3 - Willy crying over Mitch’s body is oof. Louis holding Clem’s hand is oof. I wish there was a third option during Abel’s interrogation where you could tell AJ that you don’t want him to watch rather than saying he doesn’t have to.

Again, unsurprisingly, I sucked at James’ camp with the walkers. I had to kill some of them because I literally couldn’t stay alive, so that made me angry. I also missed some of the collectables at James’ barn which also made me mad. AJ and Clem’s interactions with the salt lick are super cute. Talking to James about walkers is much more of an oof when you actually let Lee turn.

So, here’s my thing about the scene in the barn with the walkers and the chimes. No, I don’t think there’s anything more inside of walkers and I agree completely with the dialogue choice that it sounds like hell if that’s true. So James is saying they’re at peace when you go in and touch the times, but that isn’t accurate. They walk up to the chimes because it’s noise. You can’t hear them growling and moaning because the audio switches to music to try and make it more meaningful. James then proceeds to say that when walkers are alone, they’re innocent and harmless which is so inaccurate it hurts. What about Sandra in Clem’s house almost killing Lee? What about the walker that bit Duck? What about the one that bit Lee? Or the one in the shed while Clem stitched her arm? The one that dragged Luke to the bottom of the lake? It’s bullshit.

Louis’ date with Clem makes me hella salty only because he doesn’t get to give her anything like Vi gives her a pin. That’s also bullshit. He’s fucking cute though with being unable to light the matches and saying, “Have you met you?” and shit. Ngl, the first time he said he saw some magazines in the headmaster’s office, I was like LOUIS NO, but they were just about dating so it’s ok lmao. AJ and Clem with the ball and the “I love you” are so fucking adorable.

The hootenanny is cute. Ruby is cute. Louis saying “a woman after my heart” is cute. Him saying leprechauns are too hard to explain to AJ is cute. It’s all cute. Clem tells Ruby that purple was her dad’s favorite color, but it also was her favorite color in S1. If you stand around her and Katjaa for long enough, she’ll tell her that it’s her favorite. So, it’s apparently changed, and it makes me wonder what it is now.

I don’t believe Willy’s reason for getting sent to Ericson. I think that the real reason he was sent was really upsetting, so he never told anyone why he was actually sent there. So, when he learned about masturbation, he thought it was funny and used that excuse instead to make it funny.

I know that the shit with Louis’ parents really hurt him, but I always laugh so hard over the meme that’s like, “violet: my grandma killed herself in front of me 😔. louis: my parents got me the wrong gucci flipflops 😭😭😭.” It’s really tempting to say the dialogue option “worst party ever” but I never do lol.

The dream sequence with Lee always gets to me. Specifically, when we hear “Hey, sweetpea” and Clem looks up in shock, when she runs to hug him, when he’s like “Just look at you,” and when he leaves saying, “It’s time to go. There’s people that need you.” And goddammit, wHERE IS MY OPTION TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM??!?!?!!! I DON’T JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I MISS HIM!!!!!! I WANT IT ALL!!!!

I’m not even going to get into all of my problems with Violet’s scene in the cell because it makes me too salty and mad. There were some issues with Louis’, too, but not nearly as many. Just grrrrr.

I suck at the fighting sequences as well lol. Like, I got Clem punched so many times lmao. Also, where is my option to be like, “Hey AJ give me the gun” so Clem kills Lilly. Because I want her dead and I want James alive, but I don’t want him to be the one pulling that trigger again. Angery. Where are my choices, choice based game?

E4 - AJ’s talking for the previously on TWD gives me chills when he’s like, “But I remember all the rules. And the first one...is never go alone.” So good. If you can give me chills with just audio and screencaps, you did a good job. Y’all, everyone’s gotta be so damn sore after that explosion. Like, they running around a limber and shit but nah, everything’s going to hurt. And Clem’s climbing all over all this metal with fire literally right next to it, that shit would be so damn hot you’d burn your hands.

Fuck Lilly and her trying to make you feel bad as she’s getting away on the raft. Fuck the fact that you can’t shoot her afterwards. I make the choice three damn times to shoot her, and you still don’t let me have my choice. Bullshit. I hope she eats shit and dies.

Louis and Clem hugging on land is so cute. Violet getting blinded is dumb. It’s like they had to even the levels since Louis got his tongue cut out, which is just stupid. If they wanted to have them both hurt, they should have just set that they pulled out her eye or something instead of her getting blinded after the fact. I find it really dumb. I can’t even tell you how many times I died on the damn beach trying to get through the walkers. It shouldn’t be this hard to control your game.

As much as I hate James’ character flip in the cave, I do love that scene and I prefer it over the one without him. AJ really does have a lot of problems and if I didn’t know that not trusting him would kill Louis, I would have picked that. But I love Louis too damn much for that. He’s still so young and none of these are choices that he should have to make. And the fact that he chose to shoot Tenn in the neck adds to that. He doesn’t know to aim for a non-kill shot to stop someone like Clementine does, so his first real friend ended up dead. And his perspective on things after the game is still messed up, which you can tell by the “What Clem taught me” segment at the end.

The reunion with Louis is adorable. Him saying “longest damn minute of my life” is adorable. Him talking about his skylight and the house they’re going to build is adorable. I love all of it. I always have a hard time with the final touch, because I love that he wants a new piano, the nostalgia of a treehouse, and the dialogue “Thanks dad” for the skylight lol. Tenn’s face when Louis tells him he can help with painting is so fucking cute.

Minnie coming up to the bridge is so well done. It’s so ominous (I think the French version is the creepiest) and the look Louis and Clem share is just like “wtf, do you hear that too?” I died a million times during their fight scene as well because I can’t play this game for shit. I don’t know why, but I find Louis jumping the gap really attractive lol. Like, our boi woulda killed it in long jump lmao.

Y’all got an axe. You shoulda broke the damn lock off that gate. Smh.

As always, the whole process of Clem getting bit and her talking with AJ in the barn is heartbreaking. It gets to me every damn time, just like her and Lee’s does. It’s honestly hard for me to decide which one is sadder because while Clementine raised AJ his whole life, Lee became her family so quick and was cut so short. I prefer the choice of killing Clem just because you get more dialogue between her and AJ before he cuts her leg off, but I didn’t have it in me to tell him that, so I told him to leave her.

I have mixed feelings about the placement of the flashback to McCarroll Ranch. Part of me thinks it belongs in a different episode, but another likes it where it is. It just doesn’t seem to fit well where it was placed.

Much like 9 year old Clem being able to drag an unconscious Lee into the jewelry store, it would be impossible for 5 year old AJ to get her thicc ass into that wheelbarrow and push her to the school. I enjoy the headcanon that James arrived not too long after the amputation and helped get her back, but decided to stay in the woods because he didn’t want anyone to see him.

I missed another collectable in the damn shed which I’m salty as hell about. I love the reuse of Take Us Back, as many of us do. I just had to bring it up because it makes me emotional. Clem pushing AJ on the swing is adorable. The dinner scene is adorable. Violet’s voice is adorable. Louis kissing Clem on the cheek is adorable. It’s all adorable.

When Clem asks if she did a good job, I will always and forever pick the “Is she crazy?!” option because everything she did was incredible. She never had to take care of AJ. She wasn’t stuck with him. She could have left him behind so many times, but she never did. And like Javier said, not everyone is like her, not everyone wants to take care of a baby. And she fought like hell for him day after day, no matter what.

And you can see, especially in the cave scene when AJ brings up the fact that she’s still just a kid too, that she still has so much bottled up inside. She grew up so damn fast and became a goddamn powerhouse. Anyone that got in the way of her and AJ was going to end up dead. She never knew what it meant to be a parent before the world ended. She didn’t get to the age where you understand the choices parents make when raising their kids. And yet, she still raised a child all while raising herself in the middle of an apocalypse.

Clementine, you did a better job than anyone else ever could have.

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itspixcelation · 5 years ago

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Is The Caligula Effect: Overdose Worth Your Time?

I initially wrote this review for an episode of The Pixcelation Show over on my channel, which you can visit by clicking HERE. If that seems like something you’d enjoy, please scroll to the bottom to find the finished video. Thanks!

In the spring of 2018, an anime by the name of Caligula aired. No; before you ask, it’s not at all connected with the incestuous third emperor of Rome, nor is it connected with the 1979 film about the incestuous third emperor of Rome, but rather, it’s reportedly named after ‘the guilt and excitement that comes with doing something that you shouldn’t do.’ It didn’t really do too much for the anime community at large, only receiving a 6.18 on MyAnimeList as of writing. I remember thinking the series was unnecessarily complicated, and, it being deeply rooted in psychology, it tended to play armchair psychologist to an annoying degree, but it was serviceable, at least.

It wasn’t long after I started the series that I discovered it was based on a game released on the PlayStation Vita called The Caligula Effect, but I would’ve never known about it because there was next to no marketing for it here in the west. I suppose such is the fate of a JRPG on one of the most, if not the most, underappreciated consoles in history.

Welcome to the Pixcelation Show; the only series on YouTube to tackle the questions on everyone’s mind, such as ‘do artificially intelligent idols dream of electric sheep?’ I’m pixcelation, and in today’s episode we’re not gonna be discussing the Caligula anime, nor are we gonna be talking about the original game on the PS Vita. No — in today’s episode, we’ll be talking all about the recently released remaster on PS4, Switch and PC, entitled The Caligula Effect: Overdose. In order to be completely up-front with everyone, I feel obligated to disclose that I was given a code for the PS4 version by NIS America, who published the game in the west.

Imagine, for a moment, that the vocaloid Hatsune Miku gained sentience, and because of songs such as The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku, she comes to the foregone conclusion that we’re all practically suicidal and that being in the real world is what made us this way. So, she does what any rational, sentient AI would, and traps us in the matrix. In the world of The Caligula Effect, their Miku, an AI known as μ, believes she can provide humanity with a happier existence within the artificial world she’s created, called Mobius.

In The Caligula Effect: Overdose, you play as an unnamed protagonist, one of the people invited by μ to live within the simulation. It doesn’t take long before they’re able to see the rift, at which point they join a group of rebels fighting back against μ and her Ostinato Musicians, all of whom desire to keep everyone blind, deaf and dumb to the truth about their world. As you come face-to-face with each of the Ostinato Musicians, you begin to unravel the truth behind the truth, and you’ll be forced to take sides in the battle for the future of both Mobius and the real world.

In my opinion, while the story isn’t necessarily anything revolutionary, the characters drive it home with relatable arcs and … well … character. In the Go-Home Club, as well as the Ostinato Musicians, there are incredibly memorable characters that really twist your arm when it comes to picking the ending you’d prefer. In both groups, there are characters that are foils for characters on the opposing side. For example; Kotono, Mifue and Shogo in the Go-Home Club directly oppose Mirei, Sweet-P and Thorn respectively, in both their actions and character arcs. I really liked how they handled that, as it helps to illustrate the idea that, while the Musicians are the enemy, they’re also only human, and as such, while you may want to return to the real world, each of them has their own compelling motive for remaining within Mobius.

In thinking about each respective arc, one thing that I wasn’t the biggest fan of would be how the writers handled certain social issues through the characters. I’ll provide an example; in one of the early arcs, it’s revealed that one of the Musicians is transgender in the real world, and as a result they’re often the butt of everyone’s jokes just because they’re one of the ‘bad guys.’ I found that, when I was given the option to join the Musicians and learn more about this person, they actually seemed to develop into more than just a stereotype, but players who didn’t choose to become a double agent like I did would never know that, and therefore think of them as a joke. The same can be said of another character, who has developed a hatred of overweight people, and as such the game tends to play said people as stereotypes that only exist to stuff their face. I applaud the game for tackling heavy issues such as body dysmorphia and eating disorders, but I could have gone for less of the victims of these conditions being played for laughs.

In-universe, the cannon fodder enemies, called ‘digiheads,’ are created because:

they aren’t aware that Mobius is a simulation, and

they listen to μ’s songs way too much.

I could see people going insane and attacking each other after listening to the same song in a twenty-four hour loop in this reality, especially since each and every stage in the game has its own unique track … that is played … nonstop. I almost lost my mind at first, but thankfully, I either got used to it, or I’m actually a digihead and I’m trying to pull you into Mobius. I really did enjoy the character songs, though; they’re all produced by well-known artists such as DECO*27, Pinocchio-P, 40mP and OSTER Project, among many others, and they add a whole new layer of depth to these characters who only appear a minimum of times in the main story. I kind of wish the Go-Home Club also had character songs, but that might not make too much sense in the story, so I guess that’s something I’ll have to accept.

I have to admit, I had every intention of quitting the game and writing that it was just as good as the anime adaptation, but then I had a change of heart. I decided to give it another shot, and it was then that I discovered there was an option to join the Musicians, as I mentioned earlier. I can’t really tell you why, but playing as Lucid, the musician version of the protagonist, is very fun. Sure — the game doesn’t really change in any meaningful ways until the final battle, but between the character designs of Lucid and the other Musicians, and the fact that you can learn so much more about your supposed enemies, this addition makes that final decision weigh a lot more than it would’ve otherwise.

I won’t sugar-coat it; as much as I adore this game and its aesthetic, The Caligula Effect: Overdose is so desperate to be the next Persona that it’s practically salivating. Think about it: it’s a third-person, dungeon crawling RPG where you control students fighting back against forced they don’t understand in order to solve a prevalent mystery, and their adventures are rooted in psychological themes and motifs. There’s a social system where you can create bonds with not only your teammates, but also with all five-hundred-and-twenty-four students in the school, and as you deepen said bonds, you can help them overcome the trauma that keeps them in Mobius. Its battle system is reliant on powers your characters can only use after they’ve confronted their true selves and accepted that they want to return to reality. It’s probably not a coincidence; the writer who penned the game was Tadashi Satomi, who worked on the first three games in the Persona franchise, so that most likely explains the unnerving similarities, but I’d argue this game takes the social aspect a bit farther than its more shiny cousins.

I’ll give the social system credit where it’s due; it’s the most simple and most complex of its kind. As I said, there are five-hundred-and-twenty-four students in the school, and you’re able to not only become friends with all of them, but you can invite them into your party and fight with them in the main game if you … dislike the main cast, for some reason. It seems a bit overloaded, because the developers seem to expect the player to max out their bonds with every student in the game, but … that’s just too much to ask when some of the students seem to appear based on a random number generator. It’s almost like they wanted to incorporate a system that’d keep players engaged after the main story had concluded, but it ended up manifesting as a chore to work through. I dunno about y’all, but, when I see that there’s over five-hundred students, and I’m expected to resolve every one of their traumas, that’s where I check out. In Persona 3, 4 and 5, there were actual incentives to maxing out social links — not only did it increase your stats, but there were also less than five-hundred to complete, and they all had unique dialogue options that helped the experience feel less like a chore. As a result, you looked forward to the next chapter of each character. In this game, I’m aware that fully completing bonds does seem to improve your stats, but when the dialogue is recycled so often that I skipped a lot of it, there’s no reason for me to care about anything they’re saying. I think this concept is actually really solid, but if it’s filled to the brim with mediocrity, it’s not gonna realize its full potential. I’d love to see a game utilize the interconnected nature of its NPC cast in the same way that this game did, except there’d be more reason to go along with it.

I really have to give the game props for its intuitive battle system, as it turns the concept of being ready for anything on its head. As you engage your target, you select your given attack as you might in any ordinary JRPG, but you’re then given a chance to see what your attacks would do ahead of time, as well as adjust the timing of said attacks. It seems a tad bit like cheating the system since you can see what moves your enemy will make, and cater your turn accordingly. I must admit, however, that as unique as this prediction system is, I found myself caring about it less and less, instead opting to use the same moves over and over again. It may sound cocky to say that I knew the attacks would land, but it’s a disturbingly accurate segue to my next point.

I started my save file on ‘normal’ difficulty, but the longer I played, the more it felt like the easiest difficulty there was. I was grinding like a madman, sure, but there’s no reason the bosses of each chapter should’ve been taken out like a snap from the Infinity Gauntlet. I just expected more of a challenge from normal difficulty, that is to say, any challenge whatsoever. I thought it might pick up towards the endgame, but even the final boss was a breeze to get through. I say all this, but I know that if they were to patch in a more difficult mode like they did with Kingdom Hearts III, I would probably cry, so … I’ll leave it at that.

Here are some things you might want to keep in mind before playing The Caligula Effect: Overdose:

+ If you haven’t played The Caligula Effect, there is quite a lot added to Overdose that was not present in the original. For example, characters Eiji Biwasaka, Ayana Amamoto, Stork and Kuchinashi are all new additions with entirely new dungeons, but they’re integrated really well into the story and don’t feel like additions.

+ If you’re looking to get that sweet, sweet platinum trophy, make sure you keep up with all the character scenarios on both the Go-Home Club’s side and the Ostinato Musicians’ side. It appears that Eiji’s scenario is critically linked with Kuchinashi’s, and if you don’t complete Eiji’s by the time the story takes you to Landmark Tower, PEOPLE WILL STRAIGHT UP DIE, and you’ll be unable to complete the deceased character’s scenarios.

+ If you choose to accept Thorn’s offer to become one of the Musicians, DON’T FEEL BAD. It may start to weigh on your conscience as you betray your friends, but you’re not on the bad route by handing out with the Musicians. In fact, you’re required to max out all of the character scenarios in order to get the true ending. PLUS, if you refuse to join the Musicians, you’ll miss out on a bunch of adorkable moments involving μ, and you won’t want to miss those!

+ If you want to get the bad end, you don’t need to max anyone out — just accept Thorn’s invitation, then at the final battle, choose to stay in Mobius instead of going home, and … well, I’ll let you see for yourself.

+ I’ve heard whispers that it might not be possible to max out Ayana’s scenario unless you’re playing as a female, because of her androphobia. If you’re having issues with Ayana, maybe try again in a second playthrough.

+ If you’d like to explore Mobius a second time, there’s a New Game + option that’ll allow you to increase the enemy level en masse if you’re wanting a challenge, as well as carry over your levels and NPC bonds. It won’t, however, carry over your progress on character scenarios. You can also pick the female protagonist in a New Game +, which helps if you’d like to get that plat.

+ SAVE. SAVE. SAVE. In a game like this, you want to save every chance you get, as when your party dies, it’s lights out. There is NO autosave, NO continues. It takes you right back to the title screen, so be wary of that.

Is The Caligula Effect: Overdose a perfect game? No — not at all. BUT, is it fun? Yes. It’s a unique JRPG that uses the tried and true tropes found in many others of its kind, but at the same time, experiments with other elements of its presentation to create a memorable experience. I may not be motivated to complete the social element of the game, but I struggle to find fault in other areas, such as the character designs, the music and the overall aesthetic.

It deals with some very serious topics, such as body image issues, gender dysphoria or transgenderism, suicide and androphobia, among others, and while at times it can feel as if its poking fun at these issues, for the most part it does handle them with respect, and ultimately shows that these very human characters deal with things that humans too, often struggle with.

If you’re anything like me, you might be tempted to give up on it after the second stage and call it a day, but I implore you to be patient, as the game hits its stride in and after the third dungeon. If I had given up on it like I planned, let’s just say this review would be quite different.

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wrenbee · 6 years ago

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Inquisitor as a Companion!

Tagged by @galadrieljones and @thevikingwoman Thank you!!! This was SO much fun! Also had to get a new screenshot of her :)

Inquisitor’s Name: Aura Lavellan Race / Class / Specialisation: Dalish Elf/Mage/Healer Gender Identity: Female Varric’s Nickname for them: Sprout

Short bio: Aura is a healer and herbalist of Clan Lavellan. She grew up in The Free Marches, around the forested swamps along the Minanter. She came into her magic at the age of four and trained with her grandmother, Keeper Deshanna. She is very close to her grandmother and with her guidance, Aura grew up to handle her own magic with precision. Her magic is very connected to the natural world and she can charge all kinds of things with her emotional energy. When not tending to the sick or wounded, she would always wander the surrounding forests, gathering herbs and ingredients for her work. Aura is quiet and thoughtful but warms up quickly to people who show her kindness. She is highly sensitive, almost empathic, and a nurturer at heart. Just before Inquisition, she would have been helping refugees affected by Mage Rebellion. She would have been working near and around Kirkwall and would have worked closely with Merrill. She was also responsible for convincing her Clan to welcome numerous Elven refugees into their camp. After the events of the Conclave, Deshanna asked her to find, help, and bring back any of the surviving Clan Lavellan spies. No one survived, and Aura got caught up helping the refugees in the Hinterlands. What would their companion card look like? A take on the ace of wands. She would be holding onto her staff that is sprouting with new growth and little flower buds. Some of the leaves have been taken by the wind and are drifting toward a darkening horizon. Recruitment mission: Find the Dalish Healer- The Herald will approach Varric in Haven and he would say something like “There is a…friend of a friend in the Hinterlands that wants in on the Inquisition, a Dalish girl that set up camp near the crossroads. She’s out there helping the wounded, maybe she could be of use. Adan could sure use the help.” Aura would be found at a little camp just outside the crossroads tending to several sick/hurt people. She will be wary of anyone armed approaching, but will be excited to learn it is the Inquisition. The Herald can comment on her being a Dalish mage in the middle of a war zone, to which she will reply, “I can handle myself.” She’s eager to help, but there is the option to refuse or accept her. If accepted, she will make sure the people under her care are better before meeting the Herald in Haven. Where they would be in Skyhold / Haven: In Haven, Aura would be found in the apothecary helping Adan. At Skyhold, she will be found in the gardens, often planting things. Personal quests: Basically just of playable version of Protect Clan Lavellan. Quest 1: A War Table mission where Aura will ask the inquisitor to help her look into some strange bandit attacks her clan has been experiencing. If the inquisitor does, they will find out that they were hired by the Duke of Wycome. Quest 2: After the war table mission is complete, Aura will beg the inquisitor to come with her to help to protect her clan. If the inquisitor refuses, Aura will GREATLY disapprove. If the inquisitor agrees to go, they will confront the Duke of Wycome which ends in his death and basically saving the city from Red lyrium poison. Aura is reunited with the Keeper in a very personal moment where the Inquisitor gets to see just how close they are to each other. The rest of her clan expresses their approval, which is something Aura never experienced from them. The inquisitor gets a fancy new Dalish inspired staff (Its Aura’s grandmother’s and, I mean, should really go to Aura. Just sayin’.) Quest 3: Not really a quest, just a follow up cutscene. If the inquisitor refused to help Aura they find out that her grandmother has died, along with the rest of her clan. She is distraught and says that she should have been there for her people. There is no chance for the inquisitor to romance her with this outcome. If the inquisitor helped, Aura will tell them that her clan is doing well, along with the elves in Wycome. She will tell them how grateful she is for their help and their friendship.This is where the inquisitor can lock her romance! Commence happy smooches!

How to get their approval: Helping people will get you mega approval with Aura. Any dialogue option where the inquisitor is just nice to her? She was always a bit of a loner and will jump at the chance to have a friend. Also, commending her sensitivity! She needs the support! She will approve of allying with the mages or disbanding the Templars, allying with the Grey Wardens, forcing the Orlesians into a public truce, doing the rituals in temple. She will also approve of judgments the Inquisitor carries out if the prisoner’s life is spared. How to get their disapproval: Dialogue options that berate her or are just plain mean. Killing people who could be saved. Indirectly killing her grandmother by brushing of her personal quest. She will generally disapprove of a power driven Inquisitor. Are they romanceable? YES! Someone please love her! She gives soft, slow kisses in the gardens ;) Can you have sex with them? Yis. Are they open to polyamoury? No.

If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who? If she nor Solas are romanced by the quizzy, she will fall for the pretty elven man. If Solas is romanced she will fall for the giant hunky beard man, Blackwall. If none of them are romanced, it would just depend on who got to who first in the party banter MWAHAHAHA. Who are they friendly with? Solas, Cole, Blackwall, Sera, and and Dorian, Josie, Varric….and just EVERYONE. Who do they dislike? No one! She wants to be friends with everyone. Companion card changes: (use a text descrip. if you have no images) Loyalty: A version of The Star: A giant star illuminates the night sky. She’s at the edge of a river, her staff in full bloom in one hand, rain falling from the other hand into the river. (I need to find someone doing tarot commissions!) Romance: (if any) Same as loyalty. The love of a friend is just as powerful to her as the love of a, well, lover lol. Side Missions: (eg: fetch / gather / kill quests) Help Aura find 5 rare herbs. Find various herbs across the map. Extra approval if she is in the party. Once completed, a new type of health potion can be equipped. Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit? Very distrustful of the Chantry and Templars, mostly because she does not completely understand them. She does not hate them, and would not refuse to help either side. She just knows how magic was handled in her clan and is strongly against locking people away and treating them as less than, no matter who they are. She is terrified of Corypheus and what his plans are, but wants to do whatever she can to makes sure they don’t happen. She’d rather be in the thick of the disaster, trying to help, than sitting by watching the world fall apart. Something guaranteed to make them leave the party: An evil inquisitor. She would have a limit to how much she could disapprove before leaving. Like a combination of not doing her quest and killing the Sentinels would for sure push her over the edge. Wanna see an Aura cry giant, angry anime tears? Let her grandmother die or kill the sentinels. Special Events: Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your Inquisitor holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year? Not very well. She would be near lost to madness, lying on the floor in a cell, murmuring to herself about being useless. She will think she has completely lost her mind when the Herald and Dorian approach and say she is just “seeing things again.” When told they are trying to fix things she will pick herself up and agree to help. At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace? *In this AU ball gowns are a thing!* Aura would be tucked away in the guest garden, trying to stay away from the gawking Orlesians. She would be very nervous and uncomfortable at the beginning of the night, commenting: “These puffy sleeves are awful. I almost knocked over an antique vase! *nervous laugh*.” However, after a few drinks she will actually start to enjoy herself. She’ll giggle and attempt to whisper “I took my shoes off.” To a romanced Inquisitor : *hiccups* “Can we dance later?!” Or if she is with Solas or Blackwall and they are in the party:

Inquisitor: “You’re blushing!”

Aura: “Am I?! *laughs* “Solas/Blackwall asked me to dance…”

In the Fade: Your Inquisitor’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Archdemon’s taunt, and Inquisitor’s response? Epitaph on their grave? Aura would be terrified initially. Anything she had experienced in the Fade prior to this would not compare. She does not handle the energy of that particular area of the fade well. It makes her feel nauseous. The Nightmare would probably say something like, “Silly girl, how could you possibly be of any help. You can’t even keep yourself together.” To which is would respond,“You don’t know me.” Her gravestone would read “Weakness” Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser? If romanced by the Inquisitor, she would stay by their side, helping anyway she could, especially with the worsening condition of the anchor. They can get married in Trespasser! If Solas left her *sobs* she would have gone back to her clan for a while. She would make her way back to the Hinterlands, run her own little clinic, and help people there get back on their feet. She would still end up living alone in a little cottage there. If she was with Blackwall, now Thom, they both would have gone back to the Free Marches together for a while. Thom makes his reconciliations, she reconnects with her clan. They have a small Dalish wedding <3. They would still come back to the Hinterlands and share her little cottage.. And you know…there’s the possibility she could end up his widow *sobbing intensifies*.

Tagging @ladylike-foxes @buttsonthebeach @dreadhobo @mistressdreadwolf (only if you want) and anyone else who sees this! PLEASE TAG ME! This is such a fun meme and I LOVE reading them!

#Aura Lavellan #my oc #inquisitor as companion #this inspired me so much #like really got me in Aura's head #for the first time in a long while #ahhh

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architectnews · 3 years ago

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arch8 Re-Vision competition 2021

arch8 Re-Vision Design Competition, 2021 Contest, Architectural Prize News

arch8 Re-Vision Design Competition 2021

1 July 2021

arch8 Re-Vision Competition

RE-VISION

We laughed, we cried, we raged against the dying of the light, which was the ending of our favorite shows. Sitcoms have been there since the dawn of tv… From a CRT television to a flat-screen to our laptops to all-powerful OTT platforms, sitcoms have come a long way. But there is always that one show, that one sitcom you can watch over and over. Whether it’s before you go to bed, during your meals, or after finishing the most boring assignment ever.

The one with a character you admire, the one whose dialogues are like your second language, you got the idea… Right! We’ve seen it so often that we are aware of all the details. So what if we tell you that now you can change it and show people your perspective. Show them how it could have been if these sitcoms were shot in this day and age with you as their interior designer. So now, you’ll have the same people as before but with the needs of today’s world.

Whenever we propose a design for our clients, we try to incorporate every requirement of them. But our ideas are based more on our experiences and less on the profiles of the users. Because well, for God’s sake we just met them!! So if we are provided the possibility of knowing our client inside out, can we now propose the best-suited design for them? (Of course, we can!)

Having said that, ARCH8 is here with yet another competition for you all, this time an interior designing competition. We shortlisted 3 most famous sitcoms of all time: Friends, Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother.

Re-design any one of the following apartments:

1. Monica and Rachel’s apartment 2. Joey and Chandler’s apartment 3. Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment 4. Ted and Marshall’s apartment

You can download the .cad files of floor plans at arch8.in

Character Sketch

A little something to help you out.

1. MONICA: Monica is a chef in her early 30s. She is obsessive about things being clean and in order. (‘ Things shouldn’t be just ‘health department’ clean, they should be ‘Monica clean.’) She likes to host gatherings and invite people over for dinners and parties. She is the ‘mother ‘ of the group and can be sometimes dominative.

2. RACHEL: She has switched jobs from being a waitress to an executive at Ralph Lauren. All her friends come to her for fashion advice. She likes to shop. Rachel is very careless (as she says,” I shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions anymore.”) She is funny, spirited but pretty self-involved. She does not easily get along with other women (“That’s OK, Girls tend to not like me”).

3. CHANDLER: Chandler is a funny guy (Jokes are his ‘thing’). Chandler works in statistical analysis and data reconfiguration but nobody knows where he works (he’s a ‘transponster’). Chandler’s generally embarrassed by his parents, his job, and his relationship status. His sense of humor helps him cope with all of these problems. He is notoriously sarcastic. He is the highest-earning member of his friends’ circle.

4. JOEY: Joey is an actor whose work can be seen in the show “Days of Our Lives”. He is a child at heart and a foodie (Joey doesn’t share food). He likes all the kitsch art. He never gets in a serious relationship. He is dim-witted but good-natured. He likes to play foosball and is a big fan of ‘Baywatch’.

5. SHELDON: Sheldon is a theoretical physicist. He lives his life with rules and regulations and is obsessed with logical reasoning. He is interested in comic books and science fiction. Sheldon comes off as a stereotypical nerd and really has no qualms about it (but he is not crazy, his mother got him tested). He is socially awkward and likes to spend most of his time at home and at work.

6. LEONARD: He is an experimental physicist. He is a huge fan of Star Wars, science fiction, and comic books. Leonard is extremely nerdy and mainly associates with people who fit this description (“12 years after high school and I’m still at the nerd table.”). He also plays the cello. He is lactose intolerant. He lives in the apartment by Sheldon’s rules and regulations.

7. TED: Call him an architect, a hopeless romantic, or a know it all, you can say that he’s the embodiment of it all. Since college, Ted has been in many toxic relationships where he was considered an outcast or “not traditionally cool” i.e dorky. Interests… telling stories, falling in love, believing in destiny, avoiding confrontation, Renaissance Faires, crossword puzzles, Star Wars, breakfast foods, show tunes, girls who play bass guitar, giving “the best” gifts, and reading serious literature. (Random girl: What made you want to be an architect? Ted: Well you know, the soul of an artist, hands of a master craftsman… it was inevitable)

8. MARSHALL: Though he is arguably the kindest member of the group, he never shies away from a spirited debate, usually shouting “Lawyered!” if (well, “when”) he wins. A lawyer who’s madly in love with his partner in crime, Lily (his fiance). Creator of a funk band called “The Funk, The Whole Funk, And Nothing But The Funk”, he is a 6’4, supernatural (i.e Bigfoot, loch ness monster, and ghost) nerd and a foodie with a passion for star wars and playing (and winning) board games.

SUBMISSION REQUIREMENT

The Proposal to be presented on One Landscape Oriented A1 Sheet. Proposals may be presented using any technique of your choice (sketches, diagrams, 3D visualizations, model photos, CAD drawings, etc.) Team code (UIC) to be mentioned on the Top Right-Hand corner of the sheet. The proposal MUST NOT include ANY INFORMATION (name, Organization, School, etc.) that may give away your identity. All text must be in ENGLISH, with a MAXIMUM of 150 WORDS for project explanation. All dimensions should be imperial or metric units.

SUBMISSION FORMAT

841MM X 594MM Submit in .jpeg format of file size not more than 5Mb. Submit your entry at: [email protected] The subject of the mail: Your UIC (XXXXX) Name of the file uploaded: Your UIC (XXXXX)

*Participants Teamcode (UIC) will be provided by ARCH8 once you have completed the registration process.

REGISTRATION DETAILS

Indian National / Foreign National

Early-bird Registration 1st July – 15th July ’21 350 Inr / 7 US$

Standard Registration 16th July – 31st July ’21 420 Inr / 10 US$

Late Registration 1st Aug – 15th Aug ’21 540 Inr / 15 US$

NOTE: A team can have up to 3 members. The amount is non-refundable. Late registered participants will receive 5 extra days for submission.

ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA

Anyone can participate irrespective of profession or qualification, and present their ideas. Participants can submit multiple entries but that would require multiple registrations. A team can have up to 3 members.

TIMELINE

Registration deadline: 15th August 2021 Submission deadline: 20th August 2021 The submission deadline for all the participants who registered between 1st August and 15th August is 25th August 2021 Result announcement: 30th August 2021

*All the Deadlines are 23:59 – 24:00 IST (INDIA) The following dates can be a subject of modification, if necessary.

PRIZES

Total cash prize worth 15,000 INR.

Winner: Cash prize of INR 7500 + Acknowledgement on our website and social media + publication of the participants’ interview (Video) on website + 40% discount on your next architecture competition + certificate of achievement

1st Runner-up: Cash prize of INR 4500 + Acknowledgement on our website + publication of the participants’ interview (Video) on website + 30% discount on our next architecture competition + certificate of achievement

2nd Runner-up: Cash prize of INR 3000 + Acknowledgement on our website + publication of the participants’ interview (Video) on website + 20% discount on our next architecture competition + certificate of achievement

10 Honorable mentions: Acknowledgement on our website + 10% discount on our next architecture competition + certificate of achievement

Participation certificate for all the participants.

EVALUATION CRITERIA

The competition aims to explore how participants think through the basic functionality of spaces of the house, meaningful conceptualization behind design, thoughtful aesthetics, and expressive presentation.

Entries will be evaluated based on the following criteria:

1. ORIGINALITY 2. INNOVATION 3. PRESENTATION

FAQs

1. What is the nature of the competition? ‘RE-VISION’ is an open idea design competition challenge that is open for students, professionals & any individual with a creative mind.

2. Who can participate in the competition? Architecture students, Architects, Interior Designer, Civil engineers & anyone with creativity can participate in the competition.

3. How many members can be a part of a team? A team can have a maximum of 3 members. You can also participate individually.

4. Will every participant get a certificate of participation? Yes, every participant who submits a panel will receive an e-certificate.

5. What should be done in case a payment mode is not available in a particular country? We request the participants to write about the issue at [email protected] to get other payment options in such a case. We will send all possible payment methods.

6. How will a team get its Unique Identification Code? The Unique Identification Code ( UIC ) will be mailed to your registered e-mail address within 24 hrs after completing the registration process. There is only one UIC code for all the team members of a team.

7. What is the use of a Unique Identification Code? All the participants are requested to use their UIC at the top right corner of your submission as it is your identity for the competition-related processes.

8. What to do if a participant does not receive the UIC after making payment? In such cases, the participants are asked to mail their payment receipt [email protected].

9. Does the 150-word limit include legends & one-liners in the sheet? No, the 150-word limit is for the proposal explanation only and it does not include the legends & one-liners on the sheet.

RULES AND REGULATIONS

1. In case you still have questions related to the briefs and the competition, please send them to [email protected] 2. It is possible to amend or update any information relating to your registration including the names of team members once registered, mail us your query at [email protected]. 3. Participant teams will be disqualified if any of the competition rules or submission requirements are not considered. 4. Team code (UIC) is the only means of identification of a team as it is an anonymous competition. Hence, a submission with its UIC will be disqualified from the competition. 5. The official language of the competition is English. 6. The registration fee is non-refundable.

arch8 Re-Vision Competition image / information received 300621

arch8 Architecture Competitions

arch8 Lock-Unlock Competition arch8 Lock-Unlock Competition

arch8 Street-a-float Design Competition 2021 Street-a-float Design Competition 2021

arch8 studio Competition arch8 studio Competition

Architectural Contests

Architectural Competitions : links

Architecture Competitions

Archiol A4TC Architecture Thesis Competition Archiol A4TC Architecture Thesis Competition

CUBE Design Competition 2021 CUBE Design Competition 2021

REVERENCE: Memorial Structure Design Competition REVERENCE: Memorial Structure Design Competition

Comments / photos for the arch8 Re-Vision competition 2021 page welcome

The post arch8 Re-Vision competition 2021 appeared first on e-architect.

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leeoliver · 7 years ago

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have all the companions now. am currently stumbling around in deverens’ alley (or hwatever) looking for my fucking sails!!!!! everyones getting along alright w the exception of alo and teke (bcos of the latters pride and IN my personal opinion, all the flirting lihrus and teke have been doing) and palle and xo (ive got the bug where xo forces her confrontation as soon as palle joins the party. was able to resolve it bcos lihrus’ a master diplomat but it was YIKES) i love everyone. theres no dur*nces in this game, which is a plus

i think overall the game has a sort of. happier feel to it? jollier? i think bcos like iirc e/dér, xo, sera, teke, maia all have the likes to laugh trait so theyre always joking around. ive been switching up party comp well enough...alo is ALWAYS with me obvs tho

umm so lih is multi as a ranger+cipher (seer), ed as a straight fighter, xo is a contemplative (priest+monk), alo wizard, sera is a barbarian (didn’t want him out-ciphering lihrus), teke druid+chanter, maia i def multied bcos i didn’t want her to be redundant re: lihrus but i cant remember what i paired her with. probably rogue? i feel like that was one of the options? and then palle’s a paladin.

HROMANCE wise havent made any progress bcos im. still in the 2nd city lol but when i was editing the game files for that workaround for the edé bug i uhh stumbled across alos romance dialogue and [spoilers start here and continue for the paragrap////////////////////hhh]]]]]]]]]] UHHHHHHHH LOOKS FUCKING BAD?? im hoping i just cant read but from what i could tell he rejects u no matter what and its like. a sad thing. but also hes got dialogue that i assume is radiant that says stuff like “this is such a romantic spot. do you think we could stay here a while” and stuff to that effect which would make me think he actually does have a romance?? and lindsey said he does (and a bi one at that) and i would trust her w my life. also. i love love love xo and i think lihrus likes her to and idk what im gonna do incanon but ooc i def think theres a whole thing where she wants to start something and hes super hesitant bcos he feels like shes too young (i have NO clue how old shes supposed to be but she seems like...early to mid twenties?) and eventually turns her away and then its just weird after that. like that one bojack episode except you DONT want to punch lihrus in the face and its not literally illegal. and then as was mentioned before him and teke are both just. going at it 0 shame broad daylight. teke gives me major iron b*ll vibes so im kinda thinking itll be possible to just pursue like a fwb type situation with him? but also that seems. explicit for obsidian? who nose..and then palle’s an angel and she needs a gf like. yesterday.

bugs aside im really happy with the game. one super fun thing is that theyre picking up more on class in interactions and stuff? ive had 2 instances where npcs commented on butters’ presence in dialogue and i cant remember that ever happening in the first game. lomllomlloml.

#lee blogs #poe THOTS..

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justasmallbloginabigklainefandom · 8 years ago

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Ace Klaine headcanons

So, I may have rewritten glee/the story of Klaine in my mind three times?

Everything goes as I want it to go - Blaine stays at Dalton edition

Everything goes as I want it to go - Blaine transfers to McKinley edition

Ace!Klaine

And this is the latter.

Personally, I don’t think that Kurt and Blaine are asexual in canon. In fact, I like that they’re so open about the fact that they’re in a sexual relationship, because it still happens too often that mlm relationships are either non-sexual, because Straight People might not be comfortable with it, or that they’re sexual only, only refuting a main problem with Straight People regarding gay pride: them seeing homosexuality (or any non-heterosexual identity) as only sex instead of love.

Then you might wonder: “Well, Yuè, if you’re so happy with Kurt and Blaine being overly sexual in glee, why did you feel the need to rewrite the entire Klaine story with them being asexual?”

Well, m’dude, because being a sex-repulsed asexual in fandom can be quite hard sometimes, so this is mostly for my own sanity and amusement. Their headcanons are based on canon Klaine, some other ace!Klaine fics and headcanons that I’ve read, and of course my own experiences.

Enough talking.

Let’s go.

Although, maybe we need some more talking. tw: acephobia, mentions of rape threat (not in the story, but y’know, “ace discourse”), occasional cissexist language, homophobia, memories of Sadie Hawkins, overusage of the word “bro”.

This isn’t a glee fix, like the first two options. Most of the shit glee pulled them through still happen in this version, although I did change two things for no other reason except for the fact that they bother me a lot. Also, it’s unclear if Finn dies or not.

There’s one moment where unwanted sexual activities happen (I sound like a biology book, jfc), but the moment it becomes clear it’s unwanted, it stops immediately.

Now, for real, let’s go.

Season 1

Glee starts in season 1, guys. We can’t help it that Blaine decided to wait to grace us with his presence until season 2. Just like glee, we will start with Kurt.

Kurt comes out to Mercedes in 1x03 and then to his dad and the rest in 1x04/05. Everything is great, to be honest. He feels relieved, especially since his dad and friends are so okay with it.

Kurt’s like: “Yeah. Dick.”

Only-

In the beginning, he’s in a bliss. He no longer has to awkwardly overhear the girls talking about boys. He no longer has to pretend to be interested in the boys’ girl talk. But something changes.

Kurt loves to talk about Finn’s hair and cute face and his clothing.

The other girls, uhm, rather talk about what’s underneath all that clothing. Why would Quinn share that Finn touched her breasts? Why would Rachel dream about Finn’s junk? Why would Santana do anything (please notice that Santana hasn’t figured out shit yet) at all?

So he googles. He googles a lot and after quite some agonizing nights spent googling, he finds the answer. Isn’t the internet great?

Kurt basically goes through another questioning, but he’s pretty sure he’s all about that ace. He doesn’t tell anyone, though. Not even Mercedes.

He already gets so much shit for being “gay”, what will they do when they found out he’s gay and ace?

So season 1 ends. Kurt’s truly happy and okay, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not out yet.

Season 2

The bullying, just like in glee, gets worse. David Karofsky gets worse- and no one seems to notice. Puck sends him to spy on the Warblers, and just like in the actual glee, Kurt has a hard time realising that places like Dalton exist.

Blaine notices.

So the beginning of the dialogue in 2x06 is the same, that is until Kurt tells him that he’s not even gay- or at least, in the way they think he is. Trusting Blaine and Dalton, he comes out for the first time and it’s liberating.

And Blaine tells him he understands- which kind of pisses Kurt off.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, yes, I do.”

Because Kurt’s tired of non-ace people thinking that asexuality is the same thing as whatever problem they’re feeling, probably caused by sexual frustration.

“No, Blaine, you really don’t.”

And to Kurt’s surprise, Blaine laughs it off. He’s about to explode when Blaine shows him his right hand. There’s a simple black ring around his middle finger.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Not much changes for 2x07 to 2x13. They become really great friends. Mercedes feels left out. Kurt transfers after his dad’s wedding. Sectionals tie. Flirty duets. Kurt keeps falling more and more for Blaine, whereas Blaine’s an oblivious piece of fuck.

They do get to know each other better. They soon find out that, sure, they’re both asexual, but they’re sooooo different.

Kurt’s pretty sure he’s sex-repulsed. Blaine’s very sex-positive. He just doesn’t feel the need.

Blaine’s pretty chill about people not knowing- as long as they don’t assume he’s straight, he’s okay. Kurt doesn’t want to come out yet because he wants it to be huge, so that people can understand it’s a huge deal.

Later, they’ll find out that Kurt’s dad is overly supportive, whereas Blaine’s family situation is less than ideal.

Kurt, despite not being out, is entirely comfortable being ace. Blaine’s not all the time.

Literally, the only things they have in common is that they’re both homoromantic asexuals.

Kurt gets the confirmation in 2x12: GAP ATTACK!

And then, Rachel Berry throws a party. A party involving alcohol. And Blaine doesn’t question his sexuality, but his romantic orientation. He’s kind of freaking out, because he thought he was sure of himself. That, and the fact that he realises there’s so much more out there. Have you seen the entire aromantic spectrum?

Just like in glee (sorta), he realises that nothing has changed.

Of course, everything in 2x15 becomes irrelevant. Instead of the actual storylines, it’s just them reacting to the Top-Secret Information™ Sue has given them.

By now, they have a code for talking about ace related stuff.

I have an ace hanging on my sleeve,

Which is obviously a pun and mix of “ace up my sleeve” and “[sth] hanging on my sleeve”. Not that being asexual is tiresome (okay, for Blaine it sometimes is), but these are often hard-hitting subjects.

Really, Blaine is so comfortable with sex. Kurt would rather not think about what Blaine does in his room when he’s by himself and he’d also rather not look into Blaine’s browser history.

Sure, Blaine doesn’t do those things because of sexual attraction or anything. It’s a known fact that sexual behavious =/= sexual attraction. It probably relaxes him and he appreciates the intimacy, but Kurt’s just like LALALALALALALALLALA PORN???? HAHAHAHAHA NOPE.

And that’s what they discuss in Sexy. And sure, Kurt gets very uncomfortable, but they talk it through and they once again just get the wake up slap that they’re still two very different people.

Kurt’s happy being around Blaine.

Kurt’s not so happy when Pavarotti dies.

They kiss and start to date (which probably makes Puck cry). They’re of course delighted. Both of them have dreamed about their prince Charming, but they never dared to dream about him being asexual, because they didn’t think that could happen. But it did. They’re not lonely anymore. They have each other and they’re very happy.

Honestly, after 2x16 everything is pretty much the same. They go to the Benefit and confront Karofsky. Kurt transfers back to McKinley. Prom is shit and Blaine opens up about his past and how Sadie Hawkins has also changed his view on his asexuality (again, there’s a reason Blaine’s not always 100% okay with himself). Kurt loses Nationals. Blaine tells him he loves him. They run into Sam and Mercedes and well…

They’re definitely together and they become that obnoxious couple that everyone hates. That summer, Blaine gives Kurt a gift.

It’s a simple black ring.

Season 3

If you watch the transfer scene in 3x01, you know they’ve had a *cough* nice summer together. Blaine transfers to McKinley.

And he lands Tony.

Really, this kid is at a school for two weeks or so, and he lands the lead role in the school musical. He’s killing it.

Artie, on the other hand, doesn’t agree. He clearly tells both him and Rachel that he judges them for having sex and UGH that entire scene is just awful. It hurts Blaine. Of course it hurts him, but it hurts him more than Rachel because he’s fucking asexual, and here’s Artie telling him that he can’t be a great actor without having sex? In fact, he can’t be a normal functioning human without having sex?

He dances in his room, listening to Roxy Music, while telling Kurt everything. Just like Blaine, Kurt can’t stand it, but that’s not the only thing bothering him. Blaine can’t really take a stand against Artie without telling him the truth. Kurt isn’t out yet and he knows that if Blaine starts telling people he’s asexual, they will ask about Kurt.

Remember, Blaine is okay with that. Being asexual is a huge part of him, but he’s still more chill about it. As long as people know he’s not into women, he’s good. He doesn’t mind people thinking he’s gay. When people ask him “so you’re gay?” he politely corrects them and that’s it. When people ask him about his sexuality, he tells them the truth. But as long as they know he’s not into women, he’s got nothing to complain. In his eyes. I get that people *cough*Kurt*cough* feel different about this, but this is how Blaine feels.

Honestly, Kurt not being out for the first three seasons is probably the only semi-OOC part of this story, but I did it with a reason. In my mind, Kurt is not like that at all. He wants people to know, goddamnit. He’s just a bit nervous because he made such a spectacle of coming out as gay (before realizing he’s ace) that he just needs more time to get his shit together.

Sometimes, he must think about Blaine though.

“I know! But I feel like…"

“Feel like what?“

“I feel like I’m pushing you back into the closet. You’ve been at McKinley for weeks and you know that you’re free to be who you are in glee club, but you haven’t acknowledged it at all. They think you’re gay and you think it’s okay.“

“We use it as an umbrella term.“

“Still. I know that you’re not running around with an ace flag wherever you go-” “I should do that, it sounds amazing.” “-because you don’t think your sexuality is the only important thing about you and you’ve always been out with this ‘I literally don’t give a fuck if you know it or not’ attitude, but you cannot deny the fact that this is important to you.“

“Yeah, but I don’t want to push you out of your closet. I know you want to tell your dad first, but it is kinda hard because you came out as gay a year ago.“

That didn’t go exactly as planned, though. Santana gets outed and Burt’s busy trying to take down that awful commercial and of course, he’s talking about his kids shouldn’t be ashamed of their sexuality and how he’s happy with Kurt for being honest and Kurt just blurts it out. He wanted it to be touching and everything, but no. He just said that he’s definitely asexual.

Kurt’s dad replies with: “Hi asexual, I’m dad.”

Which immediately makes the tension disappear. Burt admits that he has no idea what it means and that he doesn’t know how to feel, but that he’s willing to learn. Kurt helps him out.

"So, you and Blaine don’t plan on having sex?"

"No."

"So, every time I yelled that the door had to stay open, it was all for nothing?"

"Daaaaaad.”

After that, he has the courage to come out.

Blaine’s happy for Kurt, but he’s also a bit bitter. Kurt’s dad is so amazing, whereas Blaine’s parents are… not. They aren’t very open about their acephobia, but they simply ignore it. They treat it as if it’s a phase and they’re just waiting for Blaine to “get to his senses”.

“Blaine, you dating another boy? Well, if you really have to, baby.”

“Blaine, you not wanting to have sex? Well, if you believe that’s true then we’ll wait, sweetie.”

It really bothers him, of course. That’s not all. They’re pretty sure it’s not real and that Blaine’s punishing himself for something.

“I think they don’t understand the point of asexuality. Then again, I haven’t explained it to them. I never talk about it at home, because then my mom will go on about how we shouldn’t label ourselves and bla, bla back in my days, we only had gay or straight, why are you making it so difficult for yourself? Do you want to make it harder for you? Why is it so important? Bla, bla, bla…”

But it’s time for more: The New Directions! Kurt loves these kids, that’s true, so he’s happy he finally feels like it’s time to tell the others.

It goes so, so wrong.

Just think of all the worst possible responses to coming out and put them in this moment. There are a lot of glee club members after all. They don’t understand and they’re too caught up in their idea of asexuality that they don’t bother with listening to Kurt.

BUT WAIT. It gets way worse. After Kurt tells them that he really doesn’t want to have sex, the others stare at Blaine with so much pity. They tell him how brave he is and "oh I could never date an asexual” so of course he freaks out and he flat out tells them that he’s also asexual and that they’re all disgusting. The others, still a bit biased, apologise and it will get better, truly, but this was probably one of the worst moments in Kurt’s life.

Why did I do that to him?

It is kind of inspired by the LGBTQ community. I remember thinking I was straight and I always admired the LGBTQ community for being accepting and open and a safe space. When I started to realise I wasn’t straight, I didn’t feel all too bad because I knew that there was an LGBTQ community where people could be themselves. I still love the community, but what a joke. The amount of biphobia and acephobia and panphobia and basically everything against anything that isn’t homosexually gay is disturbing. I was actually quite nervous to post this because of the LGBTQ community calling me homophobic or whatever. “Ace discourse” (aka blogs telling ace people to kill themselves or get raped and that shit) is somewhat normal and that’s a problem. Sure, not everyone is like that, but it feels like the “ace discourse” has gotten worse.

That’s why this happened. The glee club is about acceptance. Kurt never doubted about telling them. It was always such an obvious thing is in head. Glee club is family and they will accept him, that’s what glee club is about. Hell, they just finished an entire week dedicated to Santana (after his brother outed her and got to play the hero, amiright glee?). He just wanted to tell his dad first and that was the hard one. Because, y'know, glee club is a safe space and Kurt will be fine. But that didn’t happen. Is it OOC? Maybe, but the LGBTQ community being exclusive is already “OOC” for a community about acceptance and love and hope.

The glee club does get better. It’s a bit messy at first, but they go back to being #protective (something that would never happen to the LGBTQ community, sorry not sorry). In fact, the Unholy Trinity almost becomes a group of female assassins chasing down Straight People that are idiots.

Life goes on, and so does their relationship. So, remember the sex talk they have in 3x05? I sort of put it after the whole coming out thing. Blaine’s always been more open about being more comfortable, so it’s just them working on comfort zones in general. How far does Kurt want to go when they’re together?

Because when people talk about ace/allo relationships, they always say: “THINK ABOUT THE COMFORT ZONES!” and they’re absolutely right, but that also applies to ace/ace relationships. Hell, even to allo/allo.

There are two (or more) people in a relationship and they’re all different and have different feelings and experiences. You know, Kurt and Blaine talk it through and they’re happy.

Plus, why would you have fun in the bedroom when you can have fun in the kitchen? Burt and Carole come home that day to find the entire kitchen ruined, but at least Kurt and Blaine get to enjoy their freshly baked cake.

Then Cooper decides to visit Lima, and Blaine is low key not so low key freaking out, because he’s never told Cooper about being ace, and even though he’s pretty chill, he really wants to tell him since they’re working on their sibling relationship.

Cooper is one of the many who thinks Blaine’s gay.

Blaine coming out is supposed to show parallels to Kurt coming out to Burt. Both men really want to tell these family members (even Blaine!). Both of them really value the opinions of those family members. Both want their acceptance.

Burt immediately accepts him. He lightens the mood by cracking a joke to make Kurt feel more at ease. Later he admits he doesn’t understand, but since Kurt’s already feeling so much better about it, he’s willing to help.

Cooper isn’t like him. You know Cooper and his mindset. Blaine tells him and just like Burt, Cooper doesn’t understand. But he doesn’t lighten the mood. In fact, he makes it worse by flat-out telling Blaine he doesn’t understand and that he doesn’t really believe him. It’s the more toned-down version of Kurt’s coming out to the New Directions.

"Are you sure, Squirt?”

“Do you really think we’d have this agonizing discussion if I weren’t?”

Blaine has always looked for approval in his family and Cooper is part of that family, but for the first time he tells Cooper. He just tells him that he wants Cooper to know because he cares a lot about Cooper’s opinion. That’s when Cooper starts to realise it is a great deal and that he’s hurting Blaine. Just like Burt told Kurt, he tells Blaine he doesn’t understand (maybe he never will), but he’s willing to learn. Unfortunately by that time the mood is pretty ruined, since Blaine feels like shit. Cooper does learn though, but it was a rough start.

Guess what happens next? You’d expect Chandler, right? Well, you’re somewhat right, but guess what doesn’t happen?

This fucking fight. Neither Kurt nor Blaine is sexually frustrated cause they’re both hella hella ace.

Chandler does exist and since Kurt’s pretty oblivious to flirting and trying to be sexy, he has no idea what’s going on until, just like canon, Rachel confronts him. Worried and freaked out, he turns to Blaine, asking him how he feels about that and Blaine, who’s obviously more knowledgeable about these things, agrees with her. No blee-related overly dramatic and scenic angsty solos needed.

Kurt and Blaine do still have to do the couples counselling thing with Ms. Pillsbury, but there’s no sexually frustrated shit. Blaine’s being distant, like in canon, but Kurt doesn’t go looking for affection anywhere else. Again, no blee-related overly dramatic and scenic angsty solos needed.

That’s it, I guess.

3x18 to 3x22 are pretty much the same. NYADA stuff and the hairgel at the dinosaur prom. And of course Nationals and finding out that the entire season, Kurt’s been nothing more than an accessoire to Rachel’s successful and undeserving storyline.

Kurt and Blaine are happy and in love. Hooray!

Season 4

We know what’s about to happen so let’s get this thing fucking over with.

Kurt and Blaine break up.

They had a great time together during the summer, but they both notice how Kurt’s not really happy. Blaine encourages him to go to New York and they try long-distance. They love each other, but just like in glee, Kurt starts to lose track of Blaine. Kurt’s at Vogue, living the dream and hanging out with fashion icon Isabelle Wright, while Blaine’s running for student president with a former stripper.

But here’s the thing: they’re so goddamn ace. Blaine doesn’t need to fuck a lighthouse in order for Kurt and Blaine to break up, because Blaine isn’t sexually frustrated and tempted to fuck a freaking lighthouse. Praise hallelujah, Blaine does not have to cheat, since the writers thought that was the best way to break up a relationship. It’s so original of them!

Since they’ve always been open and very great at communicating even before they started dating, they decide to break up because long-distance isn’t working. Fuck, Blaine even flies to New York to do this, since they can’t break up over phone and yeah, it shows that Kurt’s life has gone on without Blaine next to him. It hurts both of them, but being together also hurts and love shouldn’t hurt like that. They try to stay friends, but it’s awkward. It isn’t until Thanksgiving, during Sectionals of all times, that they finally talk it through.

Kurt gets into NYADA after all and Burt flies to New York for Christmas. Blaine tags along and it’s pretty clear they’re still into each other, but they know long-distance hurts too much. Despite that, it actually goes uphill with their relationship.

In this season, they obviously have their own storylines when it comes to the ace part: Adam and Sam.

Adam isn’t acephobic. I’ve thought about it, and maybe it’s because I fucking love Adam Crawford, but I didn’t do it. Based on his 6 whole minutes worth of screen time, I came to the realisation it doesn’t fit him. Kurt starts to like him and asks him out. They date and Kurt comes out pretty fast, since he’s all about I’M COMING OUT/I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW.

Sure, Adam isn’t downright acephobic, but it doesn’t go easy. Kurt’s only been with Blaine, a fellow asexual. Adam admits that he has already thought about Kurt like that so Kurt coming out means that Adam has to change his perspective cause that is definitely not gonna happen. It’s awkward and messy and Adam does try to support him. Ace/allo relationships can work out -rightfully so- but this one doesn’t. Adam was great, but not the one true love Kurt’s been dreaming of.

Not much changes about the Sam storyline. I never believed it was more than a small crush and I actually think Tina’s right about how Blaine needs somewhere to put his love, because Blaine craves affection in his own way. Whereas it was random and overly unecessary, I don’t have much to complain. Sam’s been okay with gay guys possibly crushing on him since day one, or 2x04, and that hasn’t changed.

There’s actually more to the Sadie Hawkins plot (since glee totally disregarded Blaine’s past and trauma and the aftermath of a hate crime and bullying): remember how I linked that to Blaine not being all too happy about being ace all the time?

I haven’t gotten into Blaine’s questioning because it never happened on glee. By the time Blaine does grace us with his presence, he’s already out and everything. We never saw what happened before that and Sadie Hawkins is actually the first glimpse to his past. This also ties together with the fact that Blaine doesn’t feel the need to let everyone know he’s ace. By the time Sadie Hawkins happens, Blaine knows there’s something "wrong” with him. He goes to the dance with Logan (I named the guy after Logan Wright, do not judge me) and in his eyes, the physical part of a possible relationship doesn’t excite him as much as it should. Yeah, they’re young and sure, Blaine’s already explored parts of well, himself, but with another person involved? Maybe, but maybe not? And that’s not right, because he’s a teenage boy so he’s supposed to get turned on every time Logan tells him about his dreams and magazines and about feeling grown up while going through them and “wow Blaine there is this site, you should see it…”

He has heard of word asexual, but that can’t be him. He’s not some plant. He’s not religious. All the misconceptions of asexuality float through his young mind and because of that, he simply refuses to be asexual. When he realises that he is, he breaks down. Sure, by then he knows more about it, but he’s not only into men, but also asexual.

And he remembers that godawful dance where a couple of boys kicked the living shit out of him and Logan for being gay. Being gay is already disturbing to some people. He doesn’t want to be asexual as well. What if Blaine had known by then? What if those guys had known by then? What would they done differently, considering they’d give him a “special treatment” to not only kick the gay but also the ace out of him? Fuck, would he still be here? Logan isn’t.

At Dalton, he learns to love himself. As far as he knows there are no other openly ace students at that school, but the environment only makes it safe enough for Blaine to get his shit together. Just like Kurt, he comes out at Dalton for the first time and people support him. He’s home. He starts to love himself and he becomes proud of being ace. He buys himself a ring, puts an ace pride flag on his computer, and continues life. But sometimes in the back of his head, he just wishes he could be “normal”. He knows he shouldn’t think like that, but the fact that those guys still assumed that part of “normality” about him might have saved his life. He knows there’s also a chance that they weren’t going to give him a “special treatment” and that he’s “overreacting”, but sometimes someone’s thoughts and fears can take over their rationality.

NOW HERE COMES THE EXCITING PART ABOUT SEASON 4: THE HOOK-UP.

Well, that doesn’t happen because these guys don’t want to get in each other’s pants or in anyone’s pants in general. Sure they sing a duet and yeah, it’s pretty clear they’re into each other (despite Adam and Sam), but they’re fucking ace.

4x15 to 4x20 are also pretty much the same. Except for Come What May, not much happened for the boys. Blaine’s random crush on Sam randomly disappears, Kurt has a boyfriend pillow cause it’s comfy, there’s a fucking school shooting, I don’t even remember what happened in 4x19 except for Finn going to college, and McKinley loses its power while Isabelle invites Team Bushwick to sing at a ballet gala.

Kurt is back in Lima for his dad and maybe he’ll patch things up with Blaine as well. It’s probably the happiest moment of Kurt’s young life when he hears that his father is in remission.

Now here’s what’s going to happen. Like I said, this isn’t a rewrite of all the shit glee pulled them through, so even the things I wish I could change have to stay.

And like I also said, 98% of the time I follow the rules. I changed two big moments after all because I just can’t stand it at all. Here’s the first.

Yup folks, I am stopping their engagement and future wedding.

I’ve never been okay with it. I’ve thought about keeping it and then I thought about all the possible reason why them being asexual would mean not getting married like that, but in the end I gave up and broke the rule. I could go on about why I can’t stand it and wish it never happened but you know… been there done that. No Liz and Jan (don’t like them either), no ring box behind Blaine’s back, no Burt discouraging Blaine (rightfully), no me flat-out hating Blaine for his delusions and putting Kurt in this position while they’re broken up for fuck’s sake.

And with that, we swiftly move to season 5.

Season 5

They get back together in an elaborate fashion. Since the engagement doesn’t happen (praise hallelujah) Kurt goes home without a ring on his finger. He and Blaine know that long-distance didn’t work out before, and they know love shouldn’t hurt, but in their months apart they’ve gotten lives without each other so they’re less lonely. Don’t get me wrong: they miss each other very much, but they both have great people to rely on and well, graduation is around the corner.

Kurt starts a band and there he meet Elliott. And hey, guess what? Elliott is a very happy panromantic asexual. I remember when the spoilers about Blaine getting jealous of Elliott first came out, people were speculating about Elliott’s sexuality, because what if he’s straight? But other sexualities got discussed too, and this was my favourite headcanon.

Why did I make Elliott ace as well? Because they need more people to talk to. They have each other and that’s great (amazing even). They still tell each other that every now and then they have an ace hanging on their sleeves. By this point, Blaine’s gotten more comfortable with himself, so their ace stories are mostly about their relationship. Elliott shows up to talk about more ace stuff. For Kurt, having an ace boyfriend and an ace best friend is great.

He still turns to Blaine for his ace stuff. When Blaine gets to New York, he does the same. But honestly, now they both have Elliott as well.

But before Blaine has Elliott, the jealousy kicks in. Sure, Kurt won’t ever sleep with Elliott (to quote Kurt about sex: “ew ew ew”), but what if they kiss? Blaine’s pretty sure Elliott is into Kurt.

Again, not much happens for the remaining episodes of season 5a apart from the Elliott jealousy thing: 5x05 to 5x13. Blaine auditions for NYADA and then sings with puppets, Kurt’s band is taking off and they have a small fight, Kurt’s afraid Elliott is taking over the band, Blaine becomes valedictorian, the New Directions lose and gets disbanded. Kurt and the others alumni come back to celebrate the glee club. And voilà, time for season 5b.

Everything is also the same in 5x14, by the way. I just needed to give that its own paragraph, because that episode is my favourite and it deserves love. Klaine was so good in that episode, y’all.

5x15 means that Blaine’s self-doubt comes back once again (see my part about Sadie Hawkins) and it’s heavy for both of them. Sometimes I have a hard time realising they’re both victims of homophobic hate crimes.

The big one is 5x16. I know it’s named Tested, but I’ve started calling it Sexually Frustrated Swordfights, because it’s one of the four sex-themed glee episodes (2x15, 3x05, 4x14, 5x16).

But hey, guess who doesn’t get sexually frustrated?

Kurt.

Guess who doesn’t get sexually frustrated either?

Blaine.

Honestly, the website thing… if it were to happen, Kurt wouldn’t be that mad at Blaine, because he knows why Blaine goes through those things every now and then, and he’s got nothing to be jealous of. There’s no need for an actual sword fight. Jeez, these boys are dramatic.

Kurt’s a bit more uncomfortable in this episode. As Blaine mentions in the beginning of the episode, people are seeing Kurt as a sexual object and not only Blaine’s uncomfortable with that, but so is Kurt. Kurt knows he’s attractive. He has an awesome body and yes, Blaine does jealous of that. He sees men (and women!) check him out on the subway. He feels good, truly, he’s confident.

But he doesn’t like that he’s seen as sexual.

And as I mentioned, it makes Blaine very insecure. It’s not like he wants to be seen as a sexual person either (although, he wouldn’t mind as much as Kurt), it’s just that his body is awful compared to Kurt’s. Or at least, that’s what he believes.

The entire breakdown in the loft still happens. Kurt’s so much better, right now. Blaine’s feeling like shit. Not only because of his body, but after Bash he’s back to hating himself and his parents split up. And then he remembers the good ole Dalton days, where Blaine was Kurt’s protector and mentor. He used to be so strong, and now he’s not.

About his parents… I’d like to think they made amends. I’d like to think Blaine yelled at them for their acephobia.

I did, and whereas it’s not ideal, I’m okay with my family now.

But Blaine’s family has always intimidated him. Maybe now that his dad has left his mum, he feels the courage to at least talk to her, because I believe Pam loosened up after her divorce.

But yeah, Blaine’s in a bad place right now, but together with Kurt, he works on it. Kurt has gotten used to the unwanted attention and when it goes too far, he calls people out, but otherwise he just lets it happen. He’s still in the center of Blaine’s attention, and that’s all he needs.

5x17 to 5x20 is not much. The Ultimate Rachel Berry Pity Party, June picking Blaine over Kurt, Kurt as Peter Pan, Blaine moving back in the loft. Everything is going uphill.

Until it goes downhill.

Season 6

Kurt and Blaine break up after things get bad at home. Whereas I still don’t really get why they did this to them (they were doing so well in season 5b), it happened. Since glee presented them as an unhappy and unhealthy couple, I respect that they needed to leave each other.

(That, and the fact that I knew they were going to get married in 6x08).

Here’s change no. 2: Blaine dates an OC instead of You-Know-Who (not Voldemort). His name is Ryan. He’s part of all three the rewrites. He’s a gentleman. He lives close to Westerville.

Blaine isn’t the biggest fan of Scandals, but you know, he’d just overcome his depression (kinda. It’s still hard on days), he has a job he likes, he’s good, so why not celebrate at a gay bar?

They start to date and it’s sweet. Again, Ryan is a gentleman.

It’s also sexy.

Which is new.

I also have a headcanon that Ryan is one of those bro-bros, since Blaine’s apparently into that out of nowhere (*cough*You-Know-Who*cough*). He has a couple of bros that also adore Blaine. But there’s also his ultimate bro: his best bro.

Ryan likes Blaine, but man, he can be frustrating.

“I don’t know, bro. He’s never really into taking it a step further.”

“Bro, what do you mean?”

“Like, every time shit gets heated, he starts talking about lesson plans or bowties or fuck what, and I don’t think he realises he’s interrupting something. He’s just genuinely excited about bowties while we’re making out.”

“Bro.”

Ryan is older so he lives on his own. Since it’s pretty close to Dalton, Blaine goes there quite often, and without a mother like Pam Anderson around, things can get heated.

And it freaks him out.

He’s always known he’s very okay with these things, but how the hell is going to come out to Ryan? He slowly starts to lose his pride. He doesn’t even know where he left his ring for fuck’s sake.

Is he back to not being comfortable with himself?

Hell, he doesn’t even know.

When things get very serious one day, he just tells Ryan that he’s never done this before and that he needs some time to fully explore everything. Ryan’s a bit confused, because he knows Blaine was in a committed relationship, but he doesn’t ask. Blaine’s told him he’s gone through a messy break-up and that he doesn’t want to talk about his ex. Ryan just assumes Blaine’s ex is religious or he has whatever reason not to have sex he respects that and he respects Blaine.

It doesn’t cross his mind that Blaine wasn’t going to have sex either.

There’s a big time jump between season 5 and 6, so they have time. Blaine’s a bit overwhelmed, that’s for sure, but it feels quite good. At one point, they sleep together (and not just sleeping) and it was really, really good. Blaine enjoyed it.

Back to the bros!

“Bro, I’m just so confused.”

“What is it this time, bro?”

“Like, sleeping with Blaine is fucking great and I’m pretty sure he feels the same, but he never makes the first move. I’m always the one suggesting, bro, it’s been like that since we dated.”

“Just talk about it.”

“But, bro, I feel like there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m pretty sure Blaine’s not teasing me or anything. He just never initiates anyting intimate.”

“Bro, respect that.”

“Bro, I do, but I’m just so confused about that. We like being together. You know, the other day I suggested Netflix and Chill. You wanna know what he said to that?”

“Yeah.��

“He said: ‘I make the popcorn, you choose the movie!’”

“BRO.”

“He wasn’t even kidding. It wasn’t until I told him what I really meant that it clicked for him.”

And Blaine’s freaking out. He feels like it’s too late to tell him now that they’ve slept together. Kurt and Adam didn’t work out. Elliott has told him his relationships didn’t always work out.

By the time he’s completely freaking out, he has basically forgotten about Kurt. Ryan asks him to go to a bar with the bros, and Blaine accepts. Ryan tells him a friend is coming back to visit or whatever.

It’s Kurt.

Well, that is awkward.

Both of them are absolutely floored when they see each other. Kurt was going to text Blaine to meet up, but he didn’t expect to see Blaine like that with a new guy. They try to be polite, but the awkwardness is palpable. Kurt excuses himself, telling the others he needs to use the bathroom (to cry) and that he’s gonna order a drink, and Blaine follows the bros to their booth.

There he tells Ryan and the others about their history. Ryan apologizes. He truly didn’t know. He and Kurt aren’t that close, so they never really talked about personal stuff.

It’s awkward and Blaine’s pretty sure that setting himself on fire would be less painful, but when he sees Kurt, who’s clearly been crying, ordering a drink at the bar, he gets up.

He tells Ryan he needs to fix this.

He doesn’t tell him he doesn’t mean Kurt and Blaine’s friendship or whatever relationship.

He goes to Kurt and he tells them that, yeah, this is fucking awkward, but if they could just put aside their differences for one night because holy shit, Blaine has a HUGE ace hanging on his sleeve and he’s been dying to talk about it.

Both Kurt and Elliott were off-limits (Elliott’s too close to Kurt) and this is going to be painful, but Blaine needs Kurt. He didn’t want to turn to the internet, because he felt like he needed to speak about something like this in person, and he hasn’t come out to his therapist, because he’s afraid she’ll tell him it’s fake and because of trauma.

Kurt tells Blaine to sit down and Blaine tells Kurt everything (occasionally apologizing for more talking about the more sexual details). Blaine’s basically having a breakdown in a public bar while speaking to his ex, knowing that his new boyfriend is probably watching them.

Oh, how awkward.

As awkward as it is, they both know what’s like to feel trapped. Before they met each other at Dalton, they had no one to turn to. Kurt tells him that he needs to be honest with Ryan and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

“Do not apologize for being yourself, Blaine.”

Kurt takes off his own ring and gives it to Blaine, asking him to return it the moment he finds his own. At that point, Blaine’s probably openly crying, but hey, it’s glee.

Kurt also apologizes for what has happened between them. They actually have a conversation about that, since glee decided to completely overlook that despite having the opportunities.

Blaine’s a bit shakery, but he makes his way back to the booth. Ryan, who thinks they’ve only talked about their break-up, comforts him. Later, Kurt joins the others.

It’s fine. There’s still a little bit of awkwardness left, but both boys feel so much better after their conversation.

That day, Blaine goes home and he finds his ring. He texts Kurt (they never deleted each other’s numbers) to tell him. Ryan comes over the day after and so does Kurt. Wow, awkward again. Blaine gives back the ring, since he’s now wearing his own. Kurt tells Blaine to talk to Ryan.

He does in 6x03, because unlike in glee, Blaine doesn’t get locked in a sheet music store. Blaine is the one who always rushes things, so of course he accepts when Ryan suggests him moving in. Since Ryan already has the apartment, Brittany doesn’t have to furnish it for them. She does stop by to give them rainbow printed decorations, of course.

After the move has been finalised, Ryan obviously kisses Blaine because he’s happy for the both of them. It leads to more- much more. It becomes clear that Ryan is more interested in taking off Blaine’s new jacket instead of talking about the store he bought it at. Blaine’s excited. It’s fun and great and wow.

Until it’s not.

Ryan is more rougher than usual and Blaine slowly starts to realise that this is not good at all. It’s not excitable anymore. In fact, it hurts. So he tells Ryan to stop and since Ryan is still the definition of gentleman, he immediately does.

Blaine’s basically having another breakdown and I just feel so bad for all the shit I’m pulling this kid through. He locks himself in the bathroom until he’s more calmed down. When he opens the door to the bedroom, Ryan is waiting for him, clearly worried. He immediately hands Blaine some pants (such a gentleman) and asks him what is going on and if he can help.

Blaine tells him. Ryan listens and occasionally asks questions, and Blaine tells him he didn’t want to tell him because he felt like he was too late and that he didn’t want Ryan to dump him. To his surprise, the conversation goes well. He keeps restraining himself from saying "I’m sorry” every sentence though, but that’s because he remembers Kurt telling him that he shouldn’t feel ashamed for being himself.

Back to the bros! I love them, since their “bro-ness” is so cringy and unnecessary.

“Bro, I figured it out with Blaine.”

“Cool, bro, what’s up?”

“He’s asexual, bro.”

“What?”

“A-S-E-X-U-A-L, bro. He sent me some links to info sites and it’s fucking huge and interesting. You ought to read it too.”

“Bro, why not? Of course I’ll read that shit.”

Meanwhile, Kurt has met Walter. Whereas a part of me thinks the Walter storyline is even worse that Blaine dating not-Voldemort, another part of me has also never believed they were dating. Maybe I’m naive but in my mind they’re just friends that go on outings that they jokingly call dates after they realise it’s not gonna happen. That’s why he’s still here.

Of course Kurt has told Walter, since Kurt wants people to know. Walter makes a small derogatory joke about how that’s a reason they should be happy they decided not to date. Kurt’s hurt and confronts him about that, since he’s implying that ace people can’t love, and Walter apologizes.

Just like that, they’re both kinda happy living their own lives. It’s still a bit uncomfortable to run into each other, but they will get there. They can’t help it that Sue Sylvester decided to speed things up for her own amusement. Kurt and Blaine are not happy that they’re being forced into physical contact. They’re fine with kissing, but only when it’s with their consent. Sure, when they do kiss, they do it out of their own consent, but in the beginning they’re not happy with their former Cheerio coach.

Plus, those air drugs that promotes sexual stimulation by increased blood flows to the male genitalia don’t affect them anyway.

Yet, in the elevator they rediscover each other. It’s no them trying to fix whatever relationship. It’s them genuinely enjoying being around each other and them chatting as if nothing has happened. Unfortunately, they need to get out. It’s really hot in there (definitely not sexually hot), and Blaine’s not fond of confined spaces. They kiss and get the hell out of there, but the awkwardness of them being exes is no longer necessary.

Which starts to mess with both of them. Blaine’s caught up with his feelings for Ryan and his returning feelings for Kurt. Kurt’s never had any feelings for Walter, so fuck him, he’s just trying to suppress his feelings for Blaine, since he thinks that’s what Blaine wants.

Communication.

Boys, you two used to ace that.

Pun intended.

Although, back then everything was different. They weren’t ex-lovers back then. Hell, they weren’t even lovers back then. Blaine decides to stay away from Kurt for his own sanity, and because he hasn’t really come to his senses about the New Directions. He thinks they no longer want him since he’s back to being a Dalton boy or whatever bullshit. Oh Blaine.

The New Directions prove him wrong, though. Not only is he invited to sing for Brittany and Santana and for a dinner at Mr. Schue’s, he’s also invited for yet another hectic Rachel Berry party. Yes y’all, it’s time for 6x07. Not much changes, if I may say.

Kurt makes sure they sing together and the fishing starts! Kurt’s pretending that he and Walter are very serious and Blaine’s pretending Ryan can be jealous, but they’re both fishing for information. Because of that, they both think that the other isn’t interested anymore.

But Blaine realises he’s very interested when they sing Somebody Loves You together. He needs to leave because he and Ryan and the bros are going to see a game, but woops, he kisses Kurt.

He’s fucked.

After the game, Ryan tells Blaine that he knows that Blaine’s still into Kurt and he tells him to go after him. It’s bittersweet, but both of them know it’s for the best. Kurt, Blaine, and Ryan will stay friends, but that’s it.

We all know who’s waiting in the choir room with Kurt, though: Walter.

Again, Blaine has no clue. He thinks they’re really dating and his heart shatters. At the double-date, Kurt realises that something has happened, but he doesn’t know what.

He starts to get what is going on when Brittany and Santana’s wedding is about to happen. He doesn’t want to take Walter to that fucking wedding. He wants Blaine. He runs after him (Blaine’s back to living with his mum, btw) and they kiss and get back together and guess what?

THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A VERY SERIOUS CONVERSATION ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND HOW IT WENT WRONG AND HOW IT AFFECTED THEM AND HOW THEY NEED TO IMPROVE, BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT IDIOTS AND I DON’T FORGET ABOUT SHIT LIKE THAT LIKE GLEE DOES.

Brittany and Santana get married and they cheer for their friends, because remember how I stopped their wedding? Yeah.

Since they’re not on their honeymoon, Kurt helps the glee club with Myron and Blaine’s at Dalton with the Warblers.

After that, things in 6x10 to 6x13 go as canon. DALTON ACADEMY BURNS TO THE FUCKING GROUND FOR NO REASON?? Blaine’s been accepted into NYU. They win Sectionals. McKinley becomes an art school. Kurt and Blaine go back to New York.

Over there, Elliott and Dani are waiting for them. Since Blaine and Elliott go to the same school now, there’s a new version of Glitter Rock Vampire in less than a week. Rachel, Brittany, Santana, Artie and Tina join them, and so do Kitty and Rodrick after one and two years.

And that, folks, is glee.

5 years later

It’s supposed to be the best day of their lives. All their friends and family members are here, but there’s only one thing nagging them.

The well-meaning wedding guests that tell them it’s okay if they want to leave the reception a little bit earlier so that they can spend their wedding night together *wink wink* *nudge nudge*.

It’s as if some of them don’t even grasp the point of asexuality.

They wear their wedding rings on their left hands and their ace rings on their right hands. Plus, it’s not as if it’s that big of secret anymore. In the past five years, they’ve both made a name for themselves. Blaine mostly in the Broadway community, but he’s also a Grammy nominated musician (he lost to Mercedes and he can live with that). Kurt’s an Obie winner for sure, but he prefers fashion and Hummel Brag a bit more, since being an actor means that he sometimes has to act out things he’s not entirely comfortable with.

Both of them have come out on national TV during interviews. Not because they had to. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. They just mentioned it in passing and it’s out in the world now.

Blaine’s even one of the mods of one of the biggest asexual sites and Kurt makes ace pride merch.

But those wedding guests be damned. They’re married and it’s the ceremony of their dreams- with other words, the one glee deprived them off. They’re surrounded by people they love, and there’s a baby on the way.

They’re good.

#lb 2017 #ace!klaine #ace!kurt #ace!blaine #klaine #glee #wow this took me a couple of days to write down #otp: flaws and changes #klaine headcanon

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operationrainfall · 4 years ago

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Title Persona 4 Golden Developer Atlus Publisher SEGA Release Date June 13th, 2020 Genre RPG Platform PC (Steam) Age Rating N/A Official Website

A few years back, when I was convinced to buy a Vita, there was one game everybody said I had to own. Despite chafing at being told what to play on my consoles, I eventually took the advice to heart. That game was none other than Persona 4 Golden, and it astounded me. Prior to playing it, I hadn’t been patient enough to play through Persona or SMT games, and got especially frustrated with the difficulty of Persona 3. But after P4G, I learned what to expect from the series, and with that knowledge came a greater appreciation for these games. The grind was just part of the experience, and it complemented a wonderful and twisty story. So when I discovered that Persona 4 Golden was coming to Steam, I jumped at the chance to cover it for oprainfall.

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After I started playing Persona 4 Golden on Steam, the weather fittingly took a turn for the worse, and it began raining hard for several days. There were intermittent breaks of sun, but the wet weather kept coming back. Which is my way of saying there’s a chance you’ll see my bearded face on the Midnight Channel not long after you finish reading this review. In the meantime, let me tell you what to expect from the game. After all, even many years later, I acknowledge not everyone is intimately familiar with the adventure. And since I’ve already beaten the game a couple times on my Vita, this review will mostly be focusing on the differences between the versions, as well as giving a synopsis of the plot and characters.

The story takes place in the rural town of Inaba. You’re the unnamed hero, a young man with strikingly gray hair moving in with your uncle and his daughter. While the purpose of your visit is primarily to attend Yasogami High, things quickly take a turn for the strange. Bodies start piling up, and suddenly Inaba is known more for murder than the local Junes store. And since this is a Persona game, you quickly discover you have a special knack for summoning your inner self to battle monsters as well as jumping inside a hidden world within TV screens. Thus starts Persona 4 Golden, and I promise you it’s a wild ride with many delightful twists and turns. While I won’t spoil any of them, I will focus next on a key component of any Persona game – the characters.

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The fabric of the game universe is woven tightly by the bonds established between this eclectic cast of characters. And while you could certainly make the same claim for any title in the beloved Atlus series, I have a special fondness for this cast of characters. Even years later, they still make me laugh, groan and cry at their antics. Whether it’s the spunky carnivore and lover of Kung Fu Chie, or the fiery diva with an odd sense of humor Yukiko, or even the awkward goofball Yosuke, it’s a really fantastic group. There’s more main characters than those I just mentioned, but I probably should let you discover the rest. I will say, they’re all well developed and quite distinct. One of my favorites is a certain bad ass who wields desks and chairs as weapons and is much more nuanced than you’d imagine, but there’s no duds here. Even the NPCs you encounter wandering the streets of Inaba add something to the mix. And the side characters bring a lot to the table, such as your adorable cousin Nanako or your gruff uncle Dojima. Your connection to the cast is important, since the bonds you cultivate between your hero and others not only expands your understanding of them, but it empowers you via Social Links.

I’m not sure if the folks at Atlus are fans of Freud, but the Persona games definitely focus on concepts of identity. This game in particular also confronts many gender issues, but in such a way that it’s up to the player how much attention they devote to that. As the game progresses, your characters confront those sides of themselves they repress, and only by accepting them, ugly bits and all, can they truly grow. In the process, your team slowly earns their own Personas, one for every main character. The only exception is your hero, who can utilize any Persona at your disposal, those encountered while dungeon crawling or fused in the Velvet Room. Another way the game addresses these concepts is via the Social Link system. As you spend time with others, you learn their hopes, dreams and fears. As those friendships grow, your rank in their corresponding Arcana increases, based around Tarot cards. For your teammates, that lets them learn new abilities and grow stronger. An example is acquiring follow up or team attacks, surviving critical damage once per battle, or even helping downed allies recover. For side characters, you’ll just gain bonuses when you fuse Personas of their Arcana, such as Hierophant, Empress or Star. Depending on their rank, you’ll garner more or less of added benefits. It’s complex, but also very well streamlined. Every Persona in the game belongs to a particular Arcana, so you actually have a lot of control over your team’s growth.

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Besides the bonds you forge, you can also improve your hero’s attributes such as Courage or Understanding. Your level of growth will determine certain choices you can make during dialogue, such as courageously telling that special someone you’re attracted to them, or explaining death to a child with compassion. Attributes are improved through a variety of methods, such as reading books, doing well in class, attending clubs and even taking on part time jobs. The longer you play, the more options open up, and it all makes for a very dynamic and addictive loop. Your time is pretty much yours to use as you see fit, though you’d do well to spend it constructively. Keep in mind that once you encounter the next major story arc, it’s best not to wait too long. Because if you don’t save victims of the mysterious culprit fast enough, it’s game over. But that’s only if you’re really dillydallying. Just remember, if you get a forecast of rainy weather for several days, you’d better be ready to save the day. As a result, I often would go dungeon crawling on sunny days just to get my feet wet and level up my characters a bit.

More P4G on Page 2 ->

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Speaking of leveling up, one of my favorite elements of Persona 4 Golden is the combat. It was definitely an inspiration for later games I’ve enjoyed such as Tokyo Mirage Sessions and Persona Q. Essentially, each dungeon is procedurally generated every time you enter it. That means the overall layout will be slightly different, though key events will occur at predetermined floors. For example, mini bosses have to be slain or keys to locked doors must be found. As you explore the dungeons, you might find something handy like a treasure chest, but more frequently you’ll encounter roving Shadows. Many appear like angry puddles of oil with grasping hands and theater masks, though on occasion you’ll find rare ones that look like scurrying hand monsters with comical faces. If you hit Shadows from behind, you’ll get advantage in battle and be able to attack first, but if they catch you off guard, they’ll instead get an uninterrupted turn to wallop you. Once battle is initiated, you select attacks for characters, at least if you like to directly command your team. I love controlling every aspect of my strategy, so I quickly turned off the auto battle tactics. Though if you’re feeling lazy, you can always let the game auto battle.

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Your goal is to hit foes with an attack they’re weak to. This could be a physical attack, status effect, or more frequently an elemental attack. Once you’ve discovered their weakness, it will be displayed via the Analyze command. When you hit a foe with their weakness, they’ll become downed. If you down every foe, then your team of heroic ruffians will rush them, doing significant damage. You might also trigger optional attacks from your allies if you’re friendly enough with them, even ones not in your immediate party. It’s really fun and dynamic, and the tides of battle can turn rapidly. Whenever you see red Shadows, get ready to run or muster your courage, cause those are the extra hard monsters. Perhaps not as hard as FOEs from Etrian Odyssey games, but no pushover either. If you do especially well in battle, you’ll get to play a mini game with Tarot cards to acquire various benefits, such as increased experience, money, ability cards and even new Persona. If you manage to grab every card, you’ll get a Sweep Bonus, which lets you pick more cards the next time. I love the combat, and the Tarot mini game made even the hardest battles a real treat. Simply because you know that if you went into battle with the right tactics and equipment, you’d be able to beat anything. Even the incredibly challenging bosses you’ll face in the game.

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Now, most of you are probably familiar with Persona 4 Golden already. As such, I want to spend a little time talking about how it plays on Steam. First things first, it’s really nice to play the game on a bigger screen. Everything just bursts with color, especially the animated sequences. I actually noticed minute details in the background that I completely missed the first time around. The music is also fantastic, and the voice acting has never been clearer. While you have your choice of Japanese or English audio, I am really happy with the talent from the English VA team. It’s great how they spur you on during battle, as well as bringing the story to life through their energetic conversations. Though I will say, it’s important to check your display settings. I’m far from experienced modifying settings for PC games, so it took me some time to tinker and get it where I wanted. Initially the display was set to 1280 x 720, while my screen is 1920 x 1080. As a result, the character models were deformed initially. Thankfully, once I adjusted it accordingly, the models had the normal proportions I remembered. Funny enough, the squash effect only applied to in-game models, not the animation or static art for character heads.

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As for the controls, you have a couple options for playing Persona 4 Golden on Steam. If you have an Xbox controller, you’re more than welcome to use one. I purchased a new one right after I received this version of the game, and it worked pretty effortlessly, with one proviso. I don’t like how the camera controls were set to airplane mode, AKA inverted. Though if you want, you can use the bumpers instead of the right joystick to slowly pan the camera. But, if you’re a dedicated PC gamer, you can also play Persona 4 Golden with keyboard and mouse. At first I was worried about this setup, but I actually really grew to appreciate it. Though the game doesn’t explain all the controls for keyboard / mouse, they’re pretty intuitive. You can use WASD to move, F to access shortcuts, Z for map, C to return, click to select options, press spacebar or enter to investigate things, and Tab to go to the menu and adjust settings. And quick note, though I didn’t rely on the shortcuts feature much on Vita, it was invaluable this time around. While gamepad is probably the best way to play, I often was too lazy to dig it out. In the 30 something hours I played the game, more than half was spent playing with keyboard and mouse.

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While I like a lot of how Persona 4 Golden played on Steam, there were some small hiccups. One is that the graphics blur a bit during character movement. Whenever they’re running or gesturing, it’s very noticeable. I checked, and that’s also the case on the Vita. It’s just much more noticeable on a bigger screen. Even though I tweaked the V Sync and other settings, I couldn’t get the blurriness to completely go away. Thankfully it was something I was able to ignore for the most part. Something I’m less forgiving about is a small glitch I encountered multiple times. I would load up the game after hours of playing it, and suddenly the display wasn’t how I had set it. I managed to fix it by quitting and restarting, but I’m a bit surprised it persisted. Hopefully that will be addressed soon. The biggest surprise for me was that there wasn’t any new content in this version of the game. Granted, it’s hard to improve near perfection, but I half hoped there was a new dungeon or something. Or even just a graphically improved port. But, it’s hard to complain when I’ve been having so much fun.

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Visually, the game holds up really well. Especially considering it’s a Vita port of a PS2 game. Though the character models are a little rough, I love the design of all the characters, Shadows and assorted NPCs. Take the creepy flair of “The Nose”, or the eye catching design of Teddie. Everything looks great, and that goes double for the animated sequences. On the topic of audio, it actually held up even better. The voice acting is sharp and clear, and the music is outstanding. Every track fits the action perfectly, and the dungeon music is especially entertaining. It keeps you motivated to keep playing and playing, which is good considering how long it’ll take to get the best ending.

It’s always hard improving on something like Persona 4 Golden. And while you can debate if this port succeeds, it’s still a joy to play Persona 4 Golden on Steam. Especially if you’ve always been interested but didn’t want to buy a Vita to play it. You can own the game for only $19.99 for the standard edition, or $24.99 for the deluxe with digital artbook and soundtrack, either of which is a bargain for 50+ hours of content. Put simply, the must own title for Vita owners is now a must own title for PC gamers. It’s a treat to cover this release, and I hold out hope there’s more on the way soon from the fine folks at Atlus and SEGA.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4.5″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: Persona 4 Golden on Steam Title Persona 4 Golden

#Atlus #Persona 4 Golden #Sega #Steam

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thissurroundingall · 6 years ago

Photo

Lisaboa Houbrechts

Scared yet generous.

Dutch translation

Date of interview: October 11, 2018

Estimated reading time: 18 minutes

Behind the doors of Toneelhuis’ attic rehearsal room, one can hear a horrifying screeching. We lunge right into the fourth act of the Hamlet-adaptation of Lisaboa Houbrechts (°1992, Zonhoven) and her company Kuiperskaai, rehearsing for their premiere later that week. Hamlet (Victor Lauwers) plants a knife in his real life mother's (Grace Ellen Barkey) crotch, while Polonius emerges from under her skirts. Mythic and ambiguous images often overlap in the work of Lisaboa and Kuiperskaai. “Alright, we stop here!” Lisaboa looks at her companions, as if she is witnessing them sacrificing every vessel in their body in honour of the performing arts for the first time.

The same luscious passion for theatre is central to our conversation a few weeks post-premier. With an enormous enthusiasm, she always circles back to her reading of Shakespeare and Hamlet, to the importance of dialogue between layers of time. Lisaboa settled for a longer time in the eponymous location in Ghent with Kuiperskaai, but decided to make the move to Brussels almost a year and a half ago. These days, they are co-housing with Needcompany in MILL, an impressive art deco cigarette factory. Sunlight brightens the rehearsal rooms, ateliers and offices where Lisaboa guides us around, wearing her typical booties. The young company has been fairly busy the last few years. After a series of theater pieces presented at various theater festivals in Belgium and abroad, Lisaboa could now work on the large stage thanks to the P.U.L.S. program (Project for Upcoming Artists for the Large Stage). The desire to break out of the black box though, is also present in MILL, where Oscar van der Put (scenographer) is busy creating pieces for EXPLO when our interview takes place, a two-day event presenting performances, an exhibition and films. Jack-of-all-trades they seem, but Lisaboa prefers not to use the word multidisciplinary. “This is most importantly an open space where things can come together.”

Toneelhuis/Lisaboa

Kuiperskaai

The legendary space where Kuiperskaai lived and worked has been etched in the memory of the Ghentian theatre scene. How do you look back upon the move to Brussels now? How has it influenced your work?

The battle has become more real. It definitely had an impact, although it wasn’t a conscious choice. Kuiperskaai was sort of a cocoon, also because Ghent as a city is more compact. You know everyone and suddenly there’s an incrowd. In Brussels, you get confronted with a totally different city, much more complex and chaotic.

We (Victor, Romy, Oscar and Lisaboa) don’t live together anymore here in Brussels. I meet the others in a different way now. We have become more individual. The constant balancing on the border between life and art was exciting; everyone was intrigued. It almost turned into a phenomenon that one couldn’t grasp: what are these people doing there together? In the beginning, we lived in tents in this open space, then we decided to paint them and it turned into an exposition. Those elements ended up in our theatre work. Everything was very fluid, also the border between each other’s artistic practices. Now we find ourselves in a different phase, where you have to rely on yourself much more. What I want to say with my work has become a lot more personal because of that. In Ghent it was more about the collective.

So you don’t really miss it?

I thought I would find it much more difficult. Kuiperskaai is where our anchor lies. Starting Kuiperskaai was the only way to believe in what I do. It takes some guts to think you can put your work on a stage, show something that people will want to see. That could only happen because the four of us trusted each other. Now that we are anchored, it’s about finding the relevance of what we want to continue.

In the past, the house was the artwork.

Do you live in a stuffed apartment then, or is it more minimal now?

No, my apartment at the moment is really just a place to sleep. In the past, the house was the artwork. That’s why the encounter is even clearer in the performances now, also in everyone’s personal artistic practice. The entire universe that Kuiperskaai was, now maybe resides in one artwork of Oscar (van der Put, visual artist). It’s a past that we carry with us, that resonates in our work. The chaos of life, of living together, that’s over.

How did you end up in the theatre scene?

I grew up in Limburg, between Kiewit and Zonhoven, in a very green environment. My childhood was mostly spent in the forest. I wanted to work on a farm when I was younger (laughs). That was a special time, very much like a fairytale. At the same time, I noticed the narrow-mindedness of a village, the claustrophobia and tangle of trauma within a family.

When I was twelve, we moved to Hasselt and I started art school. I was playing theatre already, but I mostly made dance-based pieces together with Georges Ocloo. We always received very extreme reactions. When we were dancing in our underwear, everyone was only talking about that pair of knickers. I felt the need to escape that as quickly as possible, to move somewhere else. Ghent was the best option. I wanted to play, channel my emotions through acting, so I could comfort myself and others. Only later during the KASK training, I realized that I possessed a certain imagination beyond my own body, which I could work with. The endlessness of possible expressions wasn’t to be found in my own body. I was much more focused on bringing people together. Quitting performing myself was an important decision.

So actually, dance was the starting point for you, movement?

Even before I created De Schepping (2013), I made Mother is a Mountain, a movement piece about transgender figures in the Old Testament and Greek myths, together with Dounia Mahammed. After that, I felt I needed a text to work with. From there, I went to staging Shakespeare and other repertoire. After a while though, the structure becomes so compelling that now, after working on Hamlet, I feel like I want to do it differently and no longer be a slave to chronology and narrativity.

Is your work a personal take on what is currently happening in the #metoo-debate?

I have been developing reflections on the position of the woman in history in my work for a longer time already. The previous piece 1095 is a portrait of two women left behind by crusaders during the 11th century. With Hamlet I wanted to talk about the almost wordless mother Gertrude, played by the endearing Grace Ellen Barkey. I asked Grace to defend Gertrude and rewrote the piece based on that. Of course you get sucked into the debate then. Although I explicitly highlight the relation between Hamlet and the women in his life, it doesn’t originate from #metoo. Hamlet leans against the discussion about the representation of the woman figure in repertoire of course, but is not about that. The #metoo-debate luckily has a huge impact on the cultural scene. I think it’s absolutely essential, but I don’t necessarily feel the need to make a concrete statement in my work. I try to solve it in my own poetics, within the poetry of theatre language.

I try to solve it in my own poetics, within the poetry of theatre language.

You constantly go back to a faraway past, but do more recent time segments also intrigue you? I’m always reminded of a certain seventies glamrock vibe when I see your creations.

Yeah, that also occurred to me, that we always go back pretty far in time… The last thing you see in Hamlet though, is a queer version of Fortinbras wearing sunglasses, like a new ruler of these times. Those are the new powers, the Mark Zuckerbergs. But we never started from something contemporary indeed. Nevertheless I found it incredibly important to introduce Hamlet totally in pink as a queer symbol, also as a poetic statement. I have the feeling that I am very much grounded within this day and age. I am fascinated by history and repertoire. Those things are very inspiring to me in appearance. Dealing with that always implies some sort of nostalgia. Nostalgia is not immediately a negative word. Nostalgia is about losing yourself in details. It’s about a sort of ritual deed. You dive into that detail and stumble upon the overarching idea that humankind throughout history has always been caught up in a chain of passions.

So you don’t see nostalgia as a lack of something?

No. Yesterday I saw William Forsythe’s A Quiet Evening of Dance and that thought became very clear for me in that piece. What he does is letting a talented break-dancer dance on 17th-century music. A sublime poem. It’s about tearing two types of métier. Those breakdance moves flow seamlessly into Forsythe’s typical language of movement, but also 17th-century court ballet and Beyoncé. Through this friction between layers of time, a crack, an in-between time comes into existence. A fascination for the past, which is nostalgia, leads towards a form of timelessness. It doesn’t hinder the timeless.

A fascination for the past, which is nostalgia, doesn’t hinder the timeless.

In between your last two plays, you also assisted Alain Platel with Requiem pour L. How did that go?

Through working with les Ballets C de la B I got in touch with a different kind of theatre. I ended up in situations where I wouldn’t have that quickly with Kuiperskaai. Moving to Brussels also played a role within this. Precisely because you are on your own here, having to rely on yourself, you are able to feel the warmth of the moment and you are open to other influences. Other artists’ practices make me reflect about my own work. Thinking together with Alain about the cocoon of the Western theatre tradition was a very liberating experience.

But I also discovered Brussels again together with the fantastic performers from Requiem, who took me to parties in the Matonge quarter, where you wouldn’t end up yourself. Or you would find yourself having plantain fufu with fourteen in a tiny hotel room on tour in Berlin. Those are interesting pathways of awareness to explore.

Last time we met during the last week before the premiere. But what does a standard creation day look like for you?

During such a period of extreme rehearsal, nearing the premiere, we start around ten and work all day until seven. After the rehearsal I am alone and prepare for the next day. Now whilst developing a new creation, I try to follow my own rhythm as much as possible, shut myself off for everyone to dive into books and write.

How do you relax? Do you need to turn everything off sometimes?

That makes me a little uneasy, when everything stops. Too many questions pop up in my head. I struggle with it, also now after premiering Hamlet. You have been focusing for so long on something. Who am I? What do I feel? What I feel has a lot to do with what I love. (silence) And I love a lot. Not only theatre. Art has not always been a part of my life, so I’m already incredibly happy that I can believe in theatre, in art. Going to see a good performance is total relaxation for me, but at the same time it gets me in the mood for work again.

How do you identify with words that appear in reviews of your work: baroque, wanton, epic? Does that speak to you?

I find those words very broad terms most of the time. The first negative feedback I ever got was “It’s a little too baroque.” I’ve never really understood that. I also don’t think that our last piece is still a very baroque creation. Refinement is important for me.

Look: I absolutely love the people I collaborate with. And those people are a lot. Shakespeare carries a lot of weight as well. I try to bring all of this together into what I love myself. Sometimes it seems like we don’t know any fear, because we make generous gestures towards the people we work with. Of course we are scared, but everything is thought-through; it’s never anything goes. Métier is very often neurosis and obsession. I’m very obsessively occupied with detail. Maybe I should watch out with that. It might be in that clash that a language arises that the audience experiences as very excessive. Sometimes I need to lose grip, let something be imperfect. That only emphasizes the idea of perfection. This gesture of colouring one side half and the other side totally, passes through as baroque I guess.

Sometimes it seems like we don’t know any fear, because we make generous gestures towards the people we work with. Of course we are scared. But it’s never ‘anything goes’.

And does it resonate as well with Lisaboa as a person?

I’ve been struggling with it for a long time, with the idea of being too much, too baroque. After some time I decided to embrace it. Everyone just kept saying it. Nowadays I go to a museum, sit in front of a Rubens and think: well, actually it ain’t that bad. If it’s that, then it’s that. I can take it as an inspiration, leave the criticism aside. I recognize the extravagance in myself. But everyone is baroque I think, everyone is a lot. An inscrutable world of feelings resides inside everyone. It’s all about perfecting and making consequent what you bring into your work of that. That’s something you develop over the years.

Nowadays I go to a museum, sit in front of a Rubens and think: well, actually it ain’t that bad.

A statement of yours that I will always remember, is “Pulling history through your own body.” What do you mean by that ?

That sentence was originally a stage direction, something very concrete. It was an exercise during rehearsals, when we wanted to evoke the year 1095. I asked a performer to literally appear out of the mud of the past centuries to tell her story. That’s how we ended up with this particular primal scream at the beginning of the play. It became something bigger in the end. You have to pull history through your own body and see what’s left concerning your own time. It’s about becoming aware of your own gaze. Political events like crusades determine our intimate experiences of love, fear, religion, self-reflection… The political always imposes itself on the intimate. By making something so ‘tiny’, you pull history also through yourself. You need to examine the frame through which you show the historical.

Ophelia in Hamlet is an old-fashioned ideal of a woman who doesn’t really exist. The girl only lives because of her father. Romy struggled a lot with that and how she was supposed to play her. We took her gaze on the problematic position of Ophelia into the play, without having to introduce a meta moment. A lot of repertoire theatre is ironical or meta, a method to step out of the story and make it ridiculous or irrelevant. Why would you continue then? I wanted to stay in the anecdote. I am in love with Hamlet and his battle. I don’t think that battle doesn’t exist anymore today. Lucidity is connected to dragging history through your own body, which can lead towards regions of spirituality, from the divine to the frenzied.

What do you mean by anecdotes actually? And what are bad anecdotes?

I’ve once made that distinction in an interview indeed, between bad and good anecdotes. I don’t think that’s true anymore. Something anecdotally bad can still say something about a certain time.

But you don’t see anecdotal as personal?

No, I see the anecdotal in theatre as specific elements, such as “The shepherd arrives and tells the king he has found a bag full of gold.” These kind of anecdotes in historical texts are not as timeless as one thinks. The fragment about the shepherd still touches upon the fundament of that time though. Working with bad anecdotes would be staging that without obligation, on a filmic level without asking any questions.

And the anecdote as autobiographical material?

The autobiographical aspect is absolutely not bad for me. The work of Louise Bourgeois is anecdotal, hyperpersonal, almost perverse but I find it wonderful. She has based her entire oeuvre on a personal drama. She continues to wallow in the same old tragedy - her father cheating on her mother with the nursemaid - but extracts such a diversity of multilayered images from it, about femininity, about the problem she has with masculinity. That is so personal, so microscopically hyperrealistic - it could have been set in Zonhoven.

Is that also to be found in your work?

I don’t know if I should answer that. Everyone has secrets of course, secrets I don’t even share with the others. But I find it very inspiring to see how an artist like Bourgeois turns a secret into a myth.

The mixing of dialects is a recurring characteristic in the last plays. Do you have a specific fascination for language, or is it a specific kind of humour?

Both I guess. The first time I read Shakespeare, I noticed something about the language. He has innovated language, his work lies between the old and new English. That intrigued me: how can an in-between language generate a new language? Besides that I also link it to the comical aspect of Shakespeare. The slang used in the shepherds’s scene in The Winter’s Tale is Shakespeare’s commentary on the Scottish domination after Elisabeth’s death. The more I estranged the text, the more incomprehensible and better it became. Language became image. Also the universe of Pieter Bruegel de Oude, which I’m working on right now, knows a similar atmosphere: what is Old Dutch actually? It’s a way to think about the weight of language in our work.

What kind of reactions did you get abroad?

We played 1095 in Poznan at Malta Festival. The festival, one of the biggest in central Europe, fought against the far-right government. The play resonated a lot with the audience and got received with loud cheers. In a very conservative climate, such an extreme play has an enormous effect: Seppe Decubber who plays a right-wing fundamentalist, as a homosexual man, two women kissing with each other, monks dancing around naked… Those contemporary references in combination with fragments of history make up an explosive totality, which obviously generates reaction. According to me, fiction as a way to deal with history can be a political statement. It doesn’t always have to be a lecture. 1095 is not a totally vacuum world and those reactions abroad prove that.

Fiction as a way to deal with history can be a political statement. It doesn’t always have to be a lecture.

You emphasize the importance of the visual for Kuiperskaai. Where do you draw inspiration from?

At the moment, there is a lot of Bruegel on my table, in preparation for the new piece, but also van der Weyden. Artists who mean a lot to me are Pierre Huyghe, Jimmie Durham, Pascale Marthine Tayou, Apichatpong Weersathakul, etc. It’s very diverse, I also like installation art. So on the one hand very classical works, but also contemporary work.

I inherited the fascination for film from my father. He collects movies, his collection is a real gem. Andrej Tarkovski has left a deep impression on me when I was a teenager, but equally more contemporary work: Nuri Bilge Ceylan, Béla Tarr, Kim-Ki Duk or Fien Troch. I like rough, ritual and silent work. Also seeing classics like Fellini, Bergman, Teshigahara and Lang has formed me. Early cinema had to work very installative to generate effect. Fellini taped together black garbage bags to evoke a sea in Casanova. Having the pretense to think you can still tell a story with that poetical, clumsy approach, I find very beautiful.

Where do you position yourself in this oversaturated visual and theatre culture?

Interesting question. We have indeed seen everything already in the performing arts scene; the biggest revelations, the most refined universes. How do you relate to that? I don’t know. That’s one of the reasons why it stops for me sometimes. I don’t know a lot of young makers who still want to tell that kind of great stories; it’s almost immoral to still defend that. I find that quite exciting. What bursting out of the academy and meeting Kuiperskaai has taught me is to embrace everything in the generosity life offers you. I try to be critical for tradition, but I also don’t want the critique to block me. I want to create something from the interaction between those two.

What bursting out of the academy and meeting Kuiperskaai has taught me is to embrace everything in the generosity life offers you.

And what about social media?

Our work generates a lot of reaction because of slowness. We are looking for the elasticity of time. That’s something I notice when schools come to see our plays. When I’m asked to write a text for theatre, they tell me how young people would have a much shorter attention span because of social media. Everything needs to be captured in short terms. We confront the audience with very contemplative images. Contemplation demands time. Opposed to those flashy images on social media, I want to create a world where you can dive into yourself. That’s where contemplation and ambiguity are connected. Maybe that’s also why for me it’s difficult to uplift ambiguity in favour of an explicitly political discourse.

Making a sort of total art, a Gesamtkunstwerk as you wish, has that always been a goal of yours?

It’s more about the urge to work together with various types of artists. Even before I met the other people at Kuiperskaai, I tried to bring people from different backgrounds into my work. I’ve always been looking for a kind of impossibility. The first impulse ever was working with different media. I would never call it combining media anymore, because that doesn’t even begin to cover it. Multidisciplinary is a term I don’t believe in, an ugly word.

I’ve always been looking for a kind of impossibility.

Can you think of a different word?

Something with the word inter-… It’s still very difficult. Multidisciplinary is a little bit too much anything goes. There needs to be an essence to it, where everything is bound together already. The expression has just shattered into various manifestations. Those are one altogether. It’s not simply about adding something.

What’s the role of theory in your work?

Theory is about being emotionally attracted by a historical topic for me. Hamlet is a gold mine in this respect. It makes me reflect about a complex character in a mythical world on the one hand and the historical and contemporary world on the other.

Theory or repertoire opens itself to me as a huge archive. I like to dive into it. Some have problems with the fact that Erwin Jans gives me advice, because he’s part of an older generation. That’s just an archive that opens up. You can’t be blind for that archive, because where do you end up then? Theory opens up all those doors to possible interpretations, but as a theatre maker you’re forced to close doors behind you again. If you don’t do that, you don’t get anywhere. Then I would be better off writing an essay instead of creating performances.

Interview and translation: Tessa Vannieuwenhuyze

Photography: Astrid Theunynck

Dutch editor: Britt Sterkens

English editor: Tyche Beyens

Special thanks to Staf Nys & Maxim Ryckaerts

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