#also obsessed w the side characters like the writing is actually so good and the art matches it perfectly

[ri4naaa]

OH MY GOD GUYS / guys/ guys. my friend put me onto this manga and. it's been i wanna say 5 days since i started reading and i am on chapter 110 this thing is literally so beautiful. the story? wonderful. the pacing? perfect. the character development? on point. the character designs themselves? 10/10. like i cannot stress or gush about this enough it is SO good like genuinely oh my godddd please go read the fragrant flower blooms with dignity

[wandanatswitch]

Hour of the Owl

Pairing: Dowager!Queen Alicent Hightower x Targaryen!Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst w/ happy ending

Summary: “Love can become both a sanctuary and a peril”

Warnings: NSFW +18 minors DNI, age gap (reader is aprox 18, Alicent is aprox 37), step-cest?, mentions of targcest, fingering? (reader receiving) oral (reader receiving), semi-public sex, mentions of infidelity (not between the main characters), religious shame and guilt, mention of suicidal thoughts, emotional dependency/obsession, mentions of homophobia, kinda? Toxic relationship, manipulation, I kinda wrote the reader from a BPD perspective so she could have some traits. Let me know if there's anything missing! NO DANCE OF DRAGONS AU! Note: English is not my first language! And this is my first time writing a fic so please let me know what you think <3 Also there is very few use of Y/N! 

Words: 2.9K

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“May I join you, Princess?” 

The oh so familiar voice echoes through the empty gardens of the red keep perturbs your quiet late night stroll.

“Of course, Your Grace…” You reply while looking at the bushes filled with different coloured roses. “Is something the matter?”

 You wished to deny her, you really did… but as always, you failed to do so, you just could not bring yourself to say no to her, nor to reject her presence, the one that made you feel that stupid agonising passion that made you wish it was possible that two people were one. You wanted to be binded to her. You wanted to lay down under the same tree where you kiss her so desperately, and merge with her so you could never be separated from one another ever again.

She approaches ever so carefully, moving her hand slightly forward, making your hands faintly touch… An innocent mistake is what she would answer if you reproach her.

“Not at all” She gently caresses the edge of the rose petals in front of you. “I simply wished to know if you have received any letter from my son” A lie. “I know i have not received one since he left” Another lie. You knew for a fact that Aemond had written to the Dowager Queen, he told you himself in the only letter he had written to you, and you had heard Princess Helaena trying and failing to tell Aegon about what their brother had written to their mother… “Mother said he was vague , but that he was well… he wrote that he is not bored as he expected to be and that he is actually having a good time…” is what you heard Helaena say, but you stopped listening when Aegon groaned at his sister-wife’s words.

“What is your need to lie to me, Your Grace?” You did not look up from the flowers, you did not dare. “You always lie, at this point i find myself believing that lying is the only thing you know how to do”

That gained you a sigh from her “You are right, I apologize…” she whispers “I just wanted to be alone with you—”

“Please, do not say anything else and just leave” you cut her off in a hostile tone but whispered voice “You said it yourself, we are sinful. This is a sin. We are wrong and the Gods will punish us if we do not stop whatever twisted and vile-” she cut you off when she placed her hand on your cheek, caressing it gently with her thumb.

“I know, my darling but—” she tries to plead, but her words get cut off again. You step back, causing her hand to drop back to her side. “You always do this!” you whisper loudly “You always do this! And it is not fair that you get to treat me like a stupid toy that you only wish to hurt!” Tears are rolling down your face at this point, much to your dislike.

“I am so stupidly tired of this, and I simply cannot bear this anymore…” You closed your eyes and tried to be strong and take a deep breath, but it came out shaky and broken. “...I have two children, Alicent… What am I supposed to tell them when they see me cry in front of them because I just can’t take it anymore? That their grandmother's favorite pastime is to hurt me…? 

“Princess, you are speaking foolishly—” The Dowager Queen tries to say calmly, but once again, she finds her words being cut off.

“Am I?!” You are shouting at this point. The anger, the frustration, the pain, the hurt, everything, finally finding a way out. “Yes you are!” The older woman shouted, matching your tone. “My goal has never been to hurt you! Your pain is the last thing I would ever wish for! Ever!” “You are a liar! You have proven yourself to be—”

“I do not lie to hurt you, I lie so I do not lose you!” She starts to lower her voice, although her tone is still full of frustration. “I love you, you know that very well” “No you do not, if anything you despise me” The Targaryen princess tries to say firmly, but her voice wavers from the tears she has spilled “You would have to despise someone to hurt them like you have hurt me” You look at Alicent right in the eyes “Maybe is not me who you wish to hurt. Maybe you wish to hurt my mother and I am nothing more than a discardable piece to accomplish it.” Your breath quickens, your heart hurts and you feel like dying… you feel as if nothing matters anymore, and at this very moment you just wish to die. 

“You just cannot stand the fact that my mother is Queen, can you? And you are not only taking your frustrations out on me, but you are also trying to hurt her through me. That is what I am to you, right?”

“I will not allow you to say such idiotic, and simply untrue words” Alicent is angry. Angry at herself, angry at the Gods… but she is not angry at you, not fully at least. How can she blame you for thinking that? 

She should have been smarter about this whole relationship, the Hightower thought to herself. She should have never given into her sinful desires, but the want overpowered her… If she didn't know better, she would have thought that you were the reward the Gods had given her for enduring more than fifteen years of not only being Viserys' wife, but also a Queen… Turns out you were not her reward, but her damnation.

“I love you, Y/N” She states, her voice unwavering “I do. I love you more than i have ever loved anything before” The auburn haired woman lets out a tired sigh before walking closer to you. She lifts a hand to place at your waist out of pure habit, but she decides against it when she sees the anger and hurt still lingering in the younger girl's eyes. “I do not feel angry at the thought of Rhaenyra sitting on the throne, I promise you that. If anything, I am relieved… I do not have as much responsibility as I had before… And I do have more liberties too, the eyes of the court are not on me anymore, at least most of the time they are not… If Aegon had been crowned king, most of the responsibility still would have been thrown at me, besides I know he would have not been a good king…” Alicent fidgets with her hands as she continues “And the stupid anger i had for your mother, the foolish one sided fight i had with her for years… is over. I know the tension remains, but I promise you, Y/N, I do not hate her, nor do I wish for her downfall or to cause her pain. I wish her well in her reign.” The older woman’s hands grip the fabric of her dress in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay. “So no, you are not “a discardable piece”, Princess” The Princess does not know what to say, so she ultimately decides to sit at a nearby bench in complete silence. “My dear…” Alicent whispers to the younger woman. “I do not believe you.” The princess does not look up from the ground. “I do not believe a word of what you just said.” Alicent has to swallow a sob, but she cannot hold the tears any longer.

“...Why not?” The Hightower whispers as she tries to wipe her falling tears.

“Why…!?” You stand up from the bench and walk towards her, “Why do I not believe you, you ask?! Because like I said before, you have proven yourself to be a liar, Alicent!” The Princess looks up in an attempt to stop more tears to fall, but quickly realizes that it was a futile attempt to stop what she cannot control. “And because you have never once told me about what you just said. You never open up or tell me how you feel! So how am I supposed to believe you?!” The older woman tightens her lips before speaking up. “Alright. You want me to open up? i will.” Alicent steps closer to you and lifts both of her hands to place them on your waist, and this time she decides not to stop the action. “I wish I was born a man so that I could have you like your husband has you. I wish that I was a man so that loving you was not a sin, but I have slowly come to accept that I would gladly be damned to any of the seven hells if it means that I get to have you, to love you, or to even see your face every day. But I still wished that I was born a man… because it is not fair that my own son gets to have you but if I do as much as to touch your hand I will be considered a sinner by the Gods.” She sounds desperate… She looks desperate. 

“I wish I was a man, so I could grab you by your waist, and push you against a wall, and kiss you until you stopped breathing, and do it without fear” Her hands move to your hips. “….If I were a man, I would use you, I would spoil you, I would devour you, but above all I would love you without fear” Alicent’s grip tightens against your hips. “Oh, Princess… How I would love you… If only fate would have been kinder…”

You have stayed quiet up until this point, the words you are hearing have both made you feel like the most loved woman in the seven kingdoms, and the most doomed one at the same time. “...I do  not want you a man, I want you…” You whisper, but your voice does not lack certainty. “I want you as you are…”

Alicent’s eyes look at your own. She is looking at you with such love and tenderness… the kind that makes you melt and doubt if anyone has ever been loved like that before. “I know, sweetling…” The woman’s right hand moves to your tear stained cheek.

You look at Alicent with a pained expression “I love you” Your hand reaches her cheek as you lean forward for a kiss. You kiss her softly, trying to demonstrate with a kiss all the love you feel for her.

On the other hand, Alicent needs you. She needs to feel you, she needs to taste you, she needs to love you… So she deepens the kiss and squeezes your hips. You break the kiss, but not the distance. As you two look at each other, Alicent’s hands move up from your hips to your back. She wastes no time in starting to undo them with practiced ease. “Alicent—” She finishes unlacing your dress, making it loose on you. “Shhh my dear…  We will be fine…” The older woman utters before kneeling on the soft grass and extending her hand to you, a silent invitation.

As soon as you kneel, her hands are on you again, taking off your dress. You gently grab her face and pull her in for a hungry kiss, which makes her moan in your mouth. 

The princess’ hands are tangled in the Hightowers' hair, pulling her as close as possible, trying to become one with the woman that she loves oh so dearly.

As soon as your dress is out of the way, and you are only covered by your undergarments, Alicent’s mouth shifts to your collarbone, peppering kisses as she works on removing your undergarments. She was like a woman starved. She needs you, and you need her just as much. When your undergarments are not an obstacle anymore, her mouth reaches your breasts. She kisses the soft flesh with a mix of love and hurry, making your throat release sweet gasps and making your back arch.

Oh Gods, the sounds… They only fueled Alicent’s want more and more, and it did not help that your fingers had started to unlace her dress, making it each second more and more loose.

You needed that damned dress off of her, you needed to take it off of her just as she had taken yours off of you. You needed to feel her bare body against yours. You needed her in the way you have never needed anything else… In fact, you are sure that nobody else has ever experienced this kind of need and want.

Alicent continues worshipping your breasts as if they were deities themselves. Her tongue licks your nipple while her hand massages the other, and the moans that come out of your mouth are inevitable.

You finally manage to take the dress off of her, leaving her only in her undergarments… But still, that was more clothing that you wanted her in. “I think it is a little unfair that you have those on while I am almost completely bare, do you not think so?”

The older woman sits up a little bit, stopping her ministrations on your breasts. “You are right, princess… It is not at all fair” Right after she says those words, she removes the upper part of her undergarments, leaving her chest exposed to you. Your mouth finds itself immediately in her breasts… kissing, biting, licking…

A sweet moan falls from her lips , causing you to softly moan in return.

Alicent gently pushes you to lay on the grass, but not before putting your dress as a blanket for you to lay on, causing you to smile at her caring act. “I love you so much… I did not think it was possible to love this much…” You whisper to her, and those may be the truest words you have ever said.

“I love you too. More than anything” She lays down next to you, and instantly kisses you again while she runs her hands through your body. “You are all I need, and there is no such thing as something that I would not do for you, my sweetest girl”

Alicent’s hand reaches your hips and as soon as she grabs the hem of the bottom part of your undergarments, she slides them down your legs.

“We should go to my chambers… or yours, anyone could see us here—” Your words are stopped when two of her digits rub your clit in the way only she could “Oh Gods…!”

Any thought of getting caught had suddenly vanished from your mind, and instead, it was replaced by pleasure and Alicent’s name.

“No one will see us, my darling” She moves her fingers faster, while her other hand caresses your hair “It is the hour of the owl…” She stops her movements so she can position herself between your legs “And everyone knows that this pacific garden is yours, my love, no one will come, do not worry in vain” She reassures you once she is kneeled in between your legs. 

The only response you could give to her was a weak nod, but that quickly changed once her tongue made contact with your core, making you moan her name. 

Your hands made their way to Alicent’s hair, tangling themselves between the strands. The only thoughts you had were of Alicent, nothing more, nothing less. 

One of Alicent’s hands grips one of your thighs, while the other one travels up and towards your chest.

The Dowager Queen was lost on you. On your taste, on how you feel, on how you sound… This is everything she could ever want.

“Alicent…!” You moan loudly as your back arches, involuntarily searching for more. “Alicent I’m close…!”

The older woman's hand reaches for your own, stopping her movements on your breast , and instead intertwines her fingers with yours.

“Go ahead, my darling” Alicent says without moving away from your clit, softly moaning at the taste.

Your grip on your love’s hair tightens, and your eyes roll back. It felt as if you were on fire, and you never wanted it to end… You moan and gasp Alicent’s name as you reach your climax,  your hips bucking up towards your lover’s mouth to ride the last waves of pleasure.

Alicent crawls up and lays next to you… Her hand gently caresses your body as she places a sweet kiss on your lips, when she pulls away she takes her time to admire you… spent, panting, and underneath the moonlight. 

“...Run away with me…”

[badgalsasuke]

https://www.tumblr.com/weepingnightmarenaruto/775649233787387904/the-way-kishimoto-handles-narutos-trauma-is-so

What are your thoughts on this?

Hello anon!

Ngl this is one of my favorite ask I've ever received because it allows me to discuss something I've been meaning to for quite some time now.

Before I get into the topic that interests me the most, I'll give my observations on this:

Honestly Narutos childhood before the start of the manga needed to be explored more and Kishimoto should’ve given a bigger focus to how Naruto is because of it.

It was explored. Since chapter 1 and throughout flashbacks over the next chapters of the series, Kishimoto efficiently established and explored Naruto's childhood which explained why Naruto behaves the way he does. Kishimoto does not need to grab the readers hand and explain exhaustively so people understand Naruto's character. This manga is not hard to get to need all that.

But the way Kishimoto constantly shows how okay Naruto is with being mistreated as long as he feels they acknowledged him, is so sad. And I wish Kishimoto awknowledged how unhealthy this is.

This is where it gets interesting. It is true that Naruto isn't allowed to get angry at Konoha and is quickly resolved in the manga (although that particular paragraph was in reference to Sasuke). However, this has more to do w/ the fact that Naruto is a shonen and the power of friendship and loyalty overcomes everything, even Kishimoto himself expressed frustration at how naive the resolution of problems in shonen manga is, maybe if the series was a seinen he would've written with more nuanced about Konoha as a political and military entity that also happens to be the home of the child soldiers.

This is also part of the reason why the Kage summit arc pisses me off so much. Naruto lets himself be beat up by Karui over Sasuke, has a panick attack, rejects Gaara, gets on his knees to beg the raikage to pardon Sasuke etc. Like he should be able to emphatize with the Kumo ninjas over what happened to Killer Bee and he should value his friendship with Gaara more. Honestly Sasuke joining the akatsuki and trying to capture Killer Bee should have been a deal breaker to Naruto. And to top that off Naruto witnessing Sasuke trying to Murder Sakura should at least be one. Naruto forgiving people who mistreats him makes sense, but people mistreating the people he cares for should not be. The way Naruto treats so many of his friends over his obsession with Sasuke is so disappointing.

And this is what I wanted to tackle the most. Naruto fans do not understand Kishimoto's writing AT ALL. Idk if the op of that post is Asian or not, but it's become clear to me that Naruto fans don't know and have shown zero interest in getting to know Kishimoto's writing influences. And no, I'm not talking about Dragon Ball.

Kishimoto has shared with fans his interest in Samurai and the Edo period Japan several times, to the point the first manga he wanted to write when he was a highschooler, before he even won an award at Shonen Jump, was about Samurai but scrapped the idea because at the time mangas like Rurouni Kenshin and Blade of the Immortal came out and he felt there was no longer space for him in the highly popular sub-genre and also that he's own writing wasn't as good compared to the aforementioned works.

But that does not mean that we don't see Kishimoto's nerdy side come out in Naruto about Samurai even if it's a manga about ninjas. There's the obvious, we see during the 4th war arc an actual battle between two samurai warriors, we also know Naruto is established in a fantasy universe of feudal Japan with damyos (feudal lords) and all. The themes of honor and loyalty, quests for revenge, the overall kinship is present as well.

But for those who have read Japanese literature works from the 17th century, you would have noticed that Kishimoto borrows A LOT from them when he's writing his manga, especially for Naruto and Sasuke.

It's funny because SS and NH shippers, as well as Naruto stans who hate Sasuke and Sasuke stans who hate Naruto and even fujoshis who are used to cookie-cutter stories where seme and uke do nothing but fuck after a couple of meetings in a corporate setting or high school or whatever boring shit they like to read, use the following examples to show how toxic and unhealthy Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is, not caring about Kishimoto's literary references as usual.

Kishimoto writes a love story the way they used to be written centuries ago. He draws a lot of inspiration from at least two writers from this period Ihara Saikaku and Chikamatsu Monzaemon.

The first example is Haku and Zabuza's relationship, I'll speak about them before moving to Naruto and Sasuke to give more context on how homosexual love stories were written around the time. Although Zabuza is not a samurai but rather a ninja on the run, the relationship is clearly inspired on the wakashudo practices where an older man would take a child from ages 11-16 as his protégé to train him, feed him, give him shelter and take him as his lover until the child came of age and became a warrior at the service of the lord of the land himself. Those young boys must be of great beauty, Saikaku is constantly writing about how their beauty is what grants them the better masters over the ugly boys.

This is what Zabuza and Haku do. Zabuza takes Haku as an apprentice and they swear loyalty to each other till the death, because that's the other thing, if the circumstance presented, both master and apprentice would fight alongside each other, kill for each other and if necessary die for each other.

Many Naruto fans feel uncomfortable about the real nature of Zabuza and Haku's relationship and delude themselves into believing their relationship is actually one of father and son, lol how stupid.

Because Naruto is a shonen, we never see sexual acts being performed so Kishimoto instead shows us the attraction these characters feel for one another through suggestive dialogue and flushed faces.

Even Haku's sacrifice and Zabuza's final words are totally inspired in the works of Saikaku, where both lovers hope to meet each other in another world. Foer exambple, in one of Saikaku's stories The Boy who Sacrificed his Life in the Robes of his lover, the boy, Senjuro, who had pledged to love Sazen in this world and the next and knowing his lover was at risk of being ambushed and killed, disguises himself as Sazen sacrificing his life for him getting slashed from the back, after learning about Senjuro's death Sazen kills himself as well.

Very dramatic right? This other post also discusses briefly Haku and Zabuza and Kishimoto drawing inspiration from literary works from the Edo period [LINK]

Let's move onto Naruto and Sasuke. Is their relationship toxic and unhealthy? By today's standards it sure is. But by the standards of the 17th century is one of the greatest stories of male love ever told, I'm certain if Saikaku could read Naruto he would commend Kishimoto on his work. But this is something Naruto fans don't know and quite frankly most don't care about.

In the post you linked, OP expresses the arc that pisses them off the most (and most Naruto fans hate as well) is the Kage Summit arc where Naruto states his fierce loyalty to Sasuke no matter what, and I must laugh because if there's any arc that resembles the male love stories of the Edo period the most, it's that one.

It bothers most fans Naruto wanted to commit double suicide so he and Sasuke escape the burdens of their world and be free of them in the next one. This is a common theme in literature of 17th century Japan. Two lovers making up for their Confucian failings in this world seeking redemption in a Buddhist paradise (at the time Buddhism had made its way into Japan and it was very different from China and India's Buddhism, you can read more about it here).

Kishimoto has referenced Chikamatsu in Naruto, so he is familiar with his plays where lovers commit double suicide as the ultimate showcase of love. I believe Kishimoto felt more comfortable and had more freedom to reference Chikamatsu and not Saikaku because the former wrote heterosexual romances whereas the latter focused more in homosexual romances and Kishimoto was already walking on a fine line by this point.

These other blogs have written great posts on how Kishimoto incorporated the double suicide trope for Naruto and Sasuke [LINK], [LINK], [LINK]. So I don't think I need to delve any deeper into it, they did a great job themselves.

But this is what OP doesn't understand. Kishimoto is writing an epic, a love story for the ancient times. Sasuke doing all that and all this is kind of like a test, Naruto's devotion is being put through highs and lows and they must overcome them. It'd be good fanservice to some if Naruto would give up on Sasuke but that'd be pretty boring and writers of the Edo period would be rolling over their graves if Kishimoto did that, HA!

Another element Kishimoto borrowed from Saikaku's literary works is the willingness to commit seppuku for your loved one. We see this with Madara and Hashirama.

In Saikaku's story Nightingale in the Snow two young boys, Naiki and Dannosuke, seek to become the lovers of the samurai Tonai. When Tonai demands proof of their love for him the boys show themselves willing to commit seppuku in front of him, Tonai shocked by their devotion accepts them as lovers.

The scene is similar to Hashirama also being willing to kill himself in front of Madara per his request, hoping Madara would accept him and trust him and his clan. Madara just like Tonai, is shocked by Hashirama's actions and stops him just in time, accepting him and joining his clan with Hashirama's, just like Tonai accepted the boys.

Which leads me to Kishimoto's *actual* finale for the Naruto series, the chapter he had planned and envisioned for 15 years, chapter 698. It's also been discussed by another blog how the theme of the battle Love vs. Power and the panels are a homage to Devilman's own final battle [LINK]. But what interests me in particular about chapter 698 in relation to Saikaku's work is how mutilation of your own body has also been a common trope in Japanese male love literature as proof your devotion.

Kinda like Naruto willing to lose his arm to Sasuke hoping to finally reach his heart (and did!). Sasuke would also go on to refuse a new arm, keeping himself mutilated as a reminder of Naruto's devotion for him.

Something that surprised me at first but then it made total sense to me is the brotherly troth found in Saikaku's works. Usually when a Samurai took a young apprentice, the samurai was old as shit (40-60 years old) and the young boy would be anything between 11-17 years. But there were times when a younger man would engage in a relationship with another man close in age, (although for us in modern times a lot of them would still be considerable age-gaps).

Saikaku for example, wrote the love story between Sazen, a 28 year old and Senjuro, a 17 year old, because of their not so big age-gap, these two lovers considered each other "brothers". They formalize their relationship by having sex, considering it the consummation of their brotherly troth.

When Sazen believes Senjuro had betrayed him for another man he's heartbroken Senjuro might had broken his vows of brotherly love.

So in Edo Japan homosexual relationships between two men close in age were considered similar to that of brothers, or at least brought the men so close they would consider one another brothers. Something very important to keep in mind is that none of these men are actually blood related.

In another of Saikaku's stories They Waited Three Years to Die, Kikui the younger man, considers his lover, Uhei to be his elder brother.

It seems that in this period of time there wasn't a clear divide in the type of love a man might profess another man with whom he is in love and has sex with, and the type of love two blood-related brothers felt for each other. Again, this is not condoning incest, it's more so how they saw male-male romantic relationships as deeply intimate they rivaled the bonds of blood-related people.

I had already made a post on what I believed Kishimoto meant with his whole "more brothers than blood-brothers" deal he has going on with Naruto and Sasuke [LINK]. But now I understand where it comes from. It really has nothing to do with actual incest (or pseudo-incest or spiritual-incest or whatever the fuck antis come up with) but him drawing inspiration from centuries old literary works on homosexual relationships. After all Naruto being set in what's clearly fantasy Edo feudal Japan, it makes sense Naruto the character would have a similar view on his feelings for Sasuke.

Finally, another thing I found very interesting is how in Saikaku's works he always makes sure to let the readers know how beautiful a man (usually the bottom of the relationship) is by comparing his looks to those of a girl. For example, in his story Implicated by his Diamond Crest, Saikaku writes Tannosuke is so beautiful people thought he was a girl when he was seven years old.

So funny how Kishimoto does the same with Haku and Sasuke, such pretty beautiful boys people think they're girls.

Kishimoto is so insane, this old man really thought he could get away with all this, uh? or maybe he was hoping people would notice.

So going back to OP's post linked, what they and most Naruto fans complain about is that Kishimoto writes seeking to emulate the writing of 17th century authors rather than a 21st century one. So a lot of things that for us are toxic and unhealthy, were symbols of passion and loyalty back then and that's how Kishimoto sees them and seeks to express them in his own work. This is why it's so important to keep in mind author's intentionality when engaging with some art or media work. What is Kishimoto trying to say with his manga? what are his references, influences and inspiration? which works parallel his own? There's a reason why every creative is always telling us the media they consume and their favorite art, because we are seeing pieces of them reimagined in their own new work.

I'm really proud that I managed to make this post only considering Japanese works and not adding Western ones for direct parallels between Naruto and other pieces of literature. But this sentiment of wanting to fight alongside your loved one, killing for them and dying by their side is pretty much universal in homosexual literature, especially from the ancient times. You can also find this celebration of homosexual love in Ancient Greek and Roman literature too, Achilles and Patroclus being the most famous example.

The lyrics of Taylor Swift's song You Are In Love, fit pretty well this same sentiment those men centuries ago were trying to describe as well.

Like yeah, imagine you've been sent off war, women stayed in the city and you're left with nothing but the company of the men you're gonna fight alongside and quite possibly die alongside too. Of course you'd love them, in every way a person could possibly love another one, because those men are your brothers.

The screenshots I used for this post are from Ihara Saikaku's book The Great Mirror of Male Love.

[fuqnia]

Hi!! Happy new year!! First of all, I want to say that I REALLY REALLY love your story on ao3 (Most Wanted) it's just *aggressive chef kiss* soso good!!!

Now, I wanted to request some fluff with Eric Cartman (aged up ofc). The situation would be that he likes the reader (gn) but he doesn't know how to act or what to do bc he's never felt like that before. So, when he decides to confess and the reader tells him that he likes him too he's like "are u sure? But, really really sure?" So confused lmao. And finally, when the first kiss happens he's like "ew gross... Do it again." Idk something like that.

It's okay if you don't want to do this request!! Have a good day and remember to rest and drink water <3

Gross... Do It Again

☆ eric cartman x reader insert

☆ A/N | happy new years!! ahh thank you so much for your lovely words!! this request was so fun to write, i love writing for cartman, he's toooo funny 😭😭 also i definitely don't have a kenny obsession haha... he totally isn't in this oneshot haha...

☆ C/W | weed usage, all characters are aged up!

The dorm was a goddamn mess, and that was saying something. Cartman’s side looked like a landfill decided to give up on life—pizza boxes stacked precariously on his nightstand, a mountain of dirty laundry spilling out from under his bed, and enough empty soda cans to make a whole recycling center weep. Kenny, meanwhile, lived in his usual state of organized chaos. His side wasn’t clean, but it had an intentionality to it: a blanket that was slightly torn but neatly folded, a collection of mismatched mugs piled into a corner, and an actual stack of textbooks he occasionally cracked open. Together, the room looked like two hurricanes had collided and then given up halfway through the destruction.

Cartman was pacing back and forth like a trapped animal, hands jammed into the front pocket of his hoodie. His cheeks were pink—not the kind of smug, self-satisfied pink they turned after he delivered one of his insults, but the kind that said something was wrong. He kept muttering under his breath, stopping occasionally to glare at his desk like it had insulted him. A psychology notebook sat open there, innocently mocking him with a dumb little doodle of a stick figure with devil horns, something you had drawn in class the other day.

He hated it. He hated how his stomach twisted every time he looked at it, like something inside him was staging a full-blown revolt. It wasn’t like you had even done anything. You just laughed at one of his jokes—an offhanded, dickish comment about how their professor looked like he hadn’t slept since the ‘90s—and you scribbled that doodle on the edge of his notes. But for some reason, that stupid laugh and that stupid drawing were stuck in his head like gum on a goddamn shoe.

“This is so fucking stupid,” Cartman grumbled, pacing faster. He glanced at the notebook again, then immediately looked away, like avoiding it would somehow erase the gnawing feeling in his gut. “This isn’t happening. It’s not a thing. It’s not a thing.”

From across the room, Kenny pulled out an earbud and raised an eyebrow. He was lying on his bed, one leg kicked up lazily, scrolling through his phone like he didn’t have a care in the world. “Dude, you’ve been stomping around for twenty minutes. You’re giving me anxiety.”

Cartman froze mid-step and whipped around, glaring at Kenny. “Shut the fuck up, Kenny! I’m thinking.”

Kenny snorted, setting his phone down on his chest. “Oh, you’re thinking? That’s a new one. What’s got the great Eric Cartman so deep in thought? 

“For your information, you fucking moron,” Cartman snapped, crossing his arms defensively, “I’m trying to solve a serious goddamn problem, okay? Not that your dumbass would understand.”

Kenny’s smirk grew. “Oh, this oughta be good. Let me guess—your dick stopped working after too many hot pockets?”

“Jesus Christ, will you shut up for, like, two seconds?” Cartman barked, his voice cracking slightly. He took a deep breath, trying to regain control, and turned back to his desk. “I’m dealing with… something, alright?”

“Yeah, no shit,” Kenny said, propping himself up on one elbow. “What kind of ‘something’? Did you finally flunk out of college, or is it something juicy?”

Cartman stiffened, refusing to turn around. He didn’t want to give Kenny the satisfaction of seeing him sweat. “It’s nothing. Just… someone in class is being fucking weird, that’s all.”

“Oh, someone in class, huh?” Kenny grinned, leaning forward now, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Wait a minute. Is this about [Y/N]?”

Cartman’s whole body went rigid, like someone had hit pause on his brain. He slowly turned to face Kenny, his face already bright red. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he demanded, voice way too defensive for his own good. “This isn’t about them! Why would it be about them?! That’s fucking ridiculous!”

“Right,” Kenny said, dragging the word out as he sat up fully. “Because it’s not like you’ve been staring at your psych notes like they’re a love letter or anything. Nah, no way this is about [Y/N].”

Cartman grabbed an empty soda can off his desk and chucked it at Kenny’s head. Kenny ducked easily, laughing as the can bounced off the wall behind him. “Shut the fuck up, Kenny! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Dude,” Kenny said, shaking his head, “you’ve got it bad.”

“I don’t have shit!” Cartman exploded, throwing his arms up in frustration. “You’re fucking delusional, Kenny. I don’t like anyone! Liking people is for losers and idiots!”

“Uh-huh.” Kenny smirked, leaning back against his bed. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, fatass.”

Cartman growled, stomping back to his desk. He dropped into his chair and glared at the notebook like it had personally insulted him. That stupid stick figure stared back, its dumb little devil horns mocking him. He slammed the notebook shut, but it didn’t make him feel any better. “This is fucking bullshit,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m not a loser… but what the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

“Kenny,” Cartman barked, spinning around in his chair.

Kenny didn’t even glance up. “What?”

Cartman hesitated, glancing at the notebook again, as if it might spontaneously provide answers. “Let’s say—hypothetically—you wanted someone to pay attention to you. Like, you wanted them to see that you’re not just some… guy. What would you do?”

That got Kenny’s attention. He set his phone down and sat up slowly, his brows raised like Cartman had just sprouted a second head. “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, I’m serious, asshole!” Cartman snapped, his face flushing. “I’m asking you a question!”

“Oh, no, I heard the question,” Kenny said, a wicked grin creeping across his face. “I just can’t believe you’re coming to me for advice about your sad little crush on [Y/N].”

“Shut the fuck up!” Cartman exploded, his voice cracking slightly. “This isn’t about them! Why does everything have to be about them?! You’re so fucking dumb, Kenny.”

“Right,” Kenny said, dragging the word out as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Because you haven’t been acting like a weird little freak for the past two days. No way this is about [Y/N].”

“It’s not, okay?!” Cartman insisted, crossing his arms defensively. “I just… I just need to know what a normal person would do in a situation like this.”

Kenny blinked, then leaned back with a laugh. “Oh my God, you’re serious. You’re actually serious. Dude, you’re fucked.”

“Jesus Christ, Kenny, will you just give me a straight answer?” Cartman barked, glaring at him. “For once in your shitty, trailer park life, just help me.”

“Fine, fine,” Kenny said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “You want advice? Here’s some advice: don’t be a psycho. People tend to run away when you act like a desperate little bitch.”

Cartman’s face turned red, but he ignored the insult. “What the fuck does that even mean? Be more specific.”

“It means don’t do whatever the hell your weird little brain is cooking up right now,” Kenny said, pointing at him. “Just be normal. You know, like a regular human. Talk to them. Ask them out. That kind of shit.”

“Wow, thanks for the groundbreaking insight, Dr. Asshole,” Cartman shot back, rolling his eyes. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who’s desperate enough to ask me for advice,” Kenny fired back, grabbing his bong and giving it a lazy inspection. “So unless you want to keep jerking it to your psych notes, maybe shut the fuck up and listen.”

Cartman growled, running a hand through his hair. “You’re fucking useless. I don’t even know why I bother.”

“Because you’ve got no one else to talk to, fatass,” Kenny said with a smirk, lighting the bong. He exhaled a cloud of smoke, waving it lazily in Cartman’s direction. “So what’s the plan, huh? You gonna confess your undying love in the middle of class, or are you gonna hide behind some bullshit like you always do?”

“I don’t hide behind anything!” Cartman snapped, but the way he avoided Kenny’s eyes said otherwise. He paced a few steps, his mind racing, and then stopped short, a grin spreading across his face. “I’ve got it. I’ll invite them over to study for psych. They’ll come here, and then I’ll—I dunno—show them why I’m the shit.”

Kenny barked out a laugh, nearly dropping the bong. “Oh, that’s fucking rich. You? ‘The shit’? Yeah, okay. What’s the plan, fatass? Flex your GPA? Show them the three-day-old burrito under your bed?”

“Shut up, Kenny!” Cartman yelled, his face burning. “They’re gonna come over, we’ll study, and it’ll just happen naturally. It’s a solid plan.”

“It’s a stupid plan,” Kenny said, shaking his head as he packed another hit. “But hey, go for it. I can’t wait to see how this blows up in your face.”

Cartman ignored him, pulling out his phone and scrolling to your contact. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a moment before he started typing, his confidence growing with every word. He hit send, shoving the phone into his pocket like it might explode if he held onto it for too long.This was going to work. It had to work. Because if it didn’t… well, he wasn’t ready to think about that yet.

Cartman growled, pacing in front of his desk like a caged animal. The room was spotless by his standards, but the faint smell of cheap vanilla from the candle on his desk was starting to give him a headache. He shot a glare at Kenny, who was sprawled out on his bed, picking Dorito crumbs off his chest with zero shame. Every few minutes, Kenny let out a low snicker, clearly reveling in Cartman’s nervous energy.

“Will you stop fucking laughing, you goddamn hick?” Cartman barked, throwing a balled-up sock at him.

“Can’t help it, dude,” Kenny said, dodging the sock with a lazy grin. “You’re wound up tighter than your mom’s yoga pants. What’s the big deal? You got this.”

“I know I fucking got this!” Cartman snapped, his voice cracking. “It’s just—shut the fuck up, alright?”

Before Kenny could respond, there was a knock at the door. Cartman froze, his stomach twisting into a knot, and shot Kenny a panicked look.

Kenny raised an eyebrow. “You gonna answer that, or just stand there like an idiot?”

“Get the fuck out of here, Kenny,” Cartman hissed, jabbing a finger toward the door. “Go… I don’t know, smoke a cigarette or something. Just leave.”

Kenny swung his legs off the bed with an exaggerated groan, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. “Fine, fine. I’ll give you and [Y/N] some alone time. Try not to blow it, fatass.”

As he crossed the room, he gave Cartman a smug wink before swinging the door open. “Hey, [Y/N],” Kenny greeted, his voice dripping with mock charm. “Come on in. Cartman’s been pissing himself waiting for you.”

“Kenny, I swear to God—” Cartman started, but Kenny ignored him, laughing as he clapped you on the shoulder.

“Good luck,” Kenny said with a smirk, stepping out into the hallway. “You’re gonna need it.” He gave Cartman one last exaggerated wink before disappearing down the corridor, leaving the door ajar behind him.

The first thing you notice is how oddly clean the room is. Cartman’s side, usually some kind of post-apocalyptic wasteland of junk food wrappers and clothes that definitely needed a wash last week, is now suspiciously tidy. A faint smell of vanilla lingers, and you spot a candle burning on his desk.

“Wow,” you say, raising an eyebrow. “You cleaned. What’s the occasion?”

“I didn’t clean,” Cartman blurts immediately, crossing his arms. His cheeks are pink, and he’s glaring like you just accused him of murder. “This is just… how it always looks.”

You stifle a laugh, shaking your head as you move to the desk. “Right. Sure it is.”

Cartman doesn’t respond, instead stomping back to his chair like a sulking toddler. You set your stuff down, pulling out your notebook and flipping to the most recent lecture. “So, where do you want to start? Behavioral theories? Cognitive development?”

He shrugs, avoiding your eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Behavioral theories. Fine.”

You tilt your head at him, noticing how tense he looks. His arms are crossed, his leg bouncing so fast the chair creaks beneath him. You decide to let it slide for now, focusing instead on the lecture notes in front of you.

“Okay,” you say, glancing at your textbook. “So Pavlov and classical conditioning—that’s probably gonna be on the midterm. You know, the dog thing? Ring a bell, get a response.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cartman says quickly, waving a hand. “Dogs and bells. Got it.”

You pause, narrowing your eyes at him. “You’re not even listening.”

“I am!” he snaps, his voice an octave higher than usual. “I’m just—paying attention in my own way. Keep going.”

You shake your head, fighting back a smile, and return to your notes. As you talk through operant conditioning and positive reinforcement, you notice his responses getting shorter and more distracted. He keeps glancing at you, his leg bouncing even faster. You’ve known Cartman long enough to recognize when he’s uncomfortable, but this is… different. He’s nervous. Almost jumpy.

“Eric,” you say after a while, nudging him lightly with your elbow. “What’s going on with you? You’re acting weird.”

“I’m fine!” he says immediately, too defensive to be convincing. He looks away, fidgeting with the pen in his hand. “Just tired. Long day.”

You raise an eyebrow but let it go, turning back to your notes. “Alright. So, Skinner and operant conditioning…”

As you keep talking, you feel him watching you. It’s subtle at first—a glance here, a flick of his eyes there—but after a while, it becomes impossible to ignore. Finally, you stop mid-sentence, turning to face him fully.

“Alright, screw this!” Cartman blurts, tossing his pen onto the desk with enough force that it bounces off the notebook. “I can’t do this anymore.”

You blink, startled. “Do what?”

“This!” he says, gesturing wildly at the desk, the notes, the room in general. “All this psych bullshit. I didn’t invite you here to talk about fucking Pavlov.”

“Then… why did you invite me?” you ask slowly, unsure where this is going.

He hesitates, his face going bright red as he avoids your gaze. “Because I like you, alright?” he snaps, his voice cracking slightly. “I fucking like you, and I don’t know why, because it’s dumb, and it makes no sense, but I do. So, there. Happy now?”

The room falls into a heavy silence. For a second, he looks like he might explode from the tension. You’re too stunned to respond immediately, but then you feel a smile tugging at your lips.

“You’re serious?” you ask softly.

“Of course I’m fucking serious!” he snaps, crossing his arms. “Do I look like I’m joking?”

Your smile grows. “Good. Because I like you too.”

He freezes, his mouth opening and closing like he’s trying to process your words. “Wait… what?”

“I like you too, Eric,” you repeat, laughing lightly at the bewildered expression on his face. “I mean, I kind of figured, but I wasn’t sure.”

“You’re not fucking with me, right?” he demands, narrowing his eyes. “Because if this is a joke, I swear to God—”

“I’m not messing with you,” you say, cutting him off gently. “I like you.”

For a moment, he just stares at you, his face unreadable. Then, slowly, he leans back in his chair, letting out a long breath. “Well… good. That’s good.”

“Yeah,” you say, grinning. “It is.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then he scowls, shifting awkwardly in his chair. “So… now what?”

You laugh, leaning forward slightly. “That’s up to you.”

His eyes flicker to your lips, lingering there for just a moment too long, and you see something in his face you’ve never seen before: nerves. Eric fucking Cartman, nervous. It’s almost surreal. He clears his throat and leans back in his chair like he’s trying to shake off whatever just crossed his mind.

“Let’s just… keep studying,” he mutters, grabbing his pen like it’s a lifeline. He doesn’t look at you when he says it, his gaze fixed stubbornly on his notebook. “That’s what you came here for, right?”

You give him a small, knowing smile but nod anyway. “Sure. Studying.”

For the next half-hour, the two of you go through the motions, flipping through pages, summarizing theories, and discussing what might be on the midterm. But there’s an undeniable tension hanging between you, thick enough to choke on. Every time you glance at him, his gaze darts away, like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. His usual cocky demeanor is nowhere to be found, replaced by a kind of restless fidgeting that would be almost funny if it wasn’t so uncharacteristic.

He keeps looking at you, though. Every few minutes, you catch him stealing glances—at your face, your hands, your mouth. Each time, his expression shifts, like he’s having some internal battle with himself. It’s awkward, sure, but there’s something endearing about it, too. You can tell he’s trying to keep his usual wall up, but it’s crumbling around the edges.

Finally, you decide to put both of you out of your misery. Setting your pen down, you turn to him fully, your tone casual but your heart pounding in your chest. “Eric.”

He tenses immediately, his pen freezing mid-scribble. “What?”

You hesitate, watching him for a moment. His leg is bouncing under the desk, and his knuckles are white where they grip the pen. It’s almost enough to make you laugh, but instead, you lean in slightly and ask, “Can I kiss you?”

His reaction is immediate. His eyes widen, and he leans back so quickly he nearly knocks his chair over. “What the fuck?” he sputters, his voice higher than usual. “Why the hell would you wanna do that?”

“Because I like you,” you say simply, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “And you like me. Right?”

He glares at you, his face bright red. “Yeah, I said that already! Jesus Christ, do you have to rub it in?”

You suppress a laugh, tilting your head. “So… can I?”

He stares at you, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. For a second, you think he’s going to come up with some snarky comment or brush you off entirely, but instead, he mumbles, “Yeah. Fine. Whatever. If you want.”

You lean in slowly, giving him plenty of time to pull away. His eyes stay locked on yours, wide and uncertain, but he doesn’t move. When your lips finally meet his, he goes completely still. The kiss is soft, tentative, and more awkward than you’d expected, but it’s not bad. Not bad at all.

When you pull back, his expression is priceless. He’s staring at you like you just dropped a bomb on his lap, his cheeks practically glowing. “That was… gross,” he mutters, his nose wrinkling. “Like, really gross.”

You laugh, leaning back slightly. “Yeah? So gross you want me to do it again?”

He hesitates, his face twitching like he’s torn between saying yes and telling you to fuck off. Finally, he mumbles, “Maybe.”

You grin, leaning in again. This time, when your lips meet his, he doesn’t freeze. It’s still a little awkward—Cartman is nothing if not an overthinker—but there’s a warmth in it now, an eagerness that wasn’t there before. When you pull away, his lips twitch into a small, smug smile, though his face is still red.

“Okay, fine,” he says, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair like he’s trying to regain some of his usual attitude. “That wasn’t completely terrible.”

You smirk, tilting your head slightly as you lean your chin on your hand. “High praise from someone who couldn’t stop staring at my face all night. Want me to grab a mirror so you can practice complimenting me properly?”

Cartman’s mouth falls open in indignation, his arms uncrossing as he jabs a finger toward you. “Oh, fuck off! I wasn’t staring! I was—thinking, okay? It’s called being a goddamn genius. Maybe you wouldn’t know.”

“Thinking about kissing me, maybe,” you reply quickly, watching with satisfaction as his cheeks turn an even brighter shade of pink.

“You’re such an asshole,” he mutters, but the way his eyes dart to your lips again betrays the insult.

You grin, leaning toward him as he instinctively leans back in his chair. His attempt to create space only lasts a second before you close the gap, kissing him again. This time, he doesn’t freeze. His lips move against yours, tentative but genuine, and you can feel the tension in his shoulders melt away. For a moment, the world narrows to just the two of you—until the door slams open.

“Yo, I forgot my—holy shit!” Kenny’s voice explodes through the room, and you both jolt apart like you’ve been caught committing a crime. Cartman swivels his chair around so fast it nearly topples over, his face a deep, mortified red.

“Kenny, what the fuck?!” Cartman roars, his hands gripping the armrests of his chair like he’s about to launch himself out of it. “Didn’t I tell you to stay the fuck out?!”

Kenny, standing in the doorway, doesn’t even try to hide his glee. He’s leaning against the doorframe with the smuggest expression you’ve ever seen, holding his phone up like he’s about to livestream the whole thing. “Dude, I left for, like, an hour. I thought you’d be done dry-humping by now.”

Cartman’s face somehow turns an even darker shade of red. “We weren’t—Jesus fucking Christ, Kenny! Get out!”

You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your laugh, but the way your shoulders shake gives you away. Kenny notices immediately and points at you with mock approval. “Respect, [Y/N]. Really. Can’t believe you’re willing to put up with this dumbass.”

“Get out before I kill you,” Cartman growls, standing up so quickly that his chair scrapes against the floor. He grabs the first thing he can find—a crumpled-up notebook—and hurls it at Kenny’s head.

Kenny ducks effortlessly, laughing like this is the funniest thing he’s seen all year. “Alright, alright, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. But don’t think this is over. I’m gonna be talking about this for weeks.”

“Kenny!” Cartman shouts again, but it’s useless. Kenny’s already backing out the door, still grinning like a lunatic. “I’m serious! I’ll fucking kill you!”

“Love you too, babe,” Kenny calls over his shoulder before disappearing down the hallway.

The door slams shut, and the room is suddenly quiet again. Cartman groans, slumping back into his chair and burying his face in his hands. “I fucking hate him.”

You chuckle, leaning forward with your chin on your hand. “He’s not so bad. At least he didn’t take pictures.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Cartman mutters, glaring at the door like he expects Kenny to burst back in any second.

“Relax,” you say, reaching out to nudge his shoulder. “It’s not the end of the world.”

Cartman scoffs, but he doesn’t pull away from your touch. Instead, he glances at you, his expression softening just slightly. “Yeah, well… you better not tell anyone about this either.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” you say, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek. His face flushes again, but this time, he doesn’t protest.

[twig-tea]

GL odds and ends 20 October 2024

Still feeling out how regularly it makes sense to do this; first one was 2 weeks ago on 6 October. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list through Feb 2024 and my update in July 2024. New series marked with an asterisk*.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to Oct 6):

Reverse 4 U 7/8 (Thai, Tuesdays 1:00 PM EDT, Netflix / YouTube) I'm disappointed by how this final arc has gone. We haven't really seen any growth for Wa, and the whole plot with Wa and Vivi's father didn't really make sense. I really don't understand why he had to stay away, or why the rules are so different for him than for Wa. The relationship between Wa and Four also feels flat because we've barely seen them together. I was rooting for this one but alas.

Unlock Your Love ep 6/8 (Thai, Wednesdays, GagaOOLala / YouTube [cut version]) The sequence where Rain and Love keep trying to have sex but getting interrupted/hurt was very funny; this show still drags but the core of it is pretty good. I mostly just wish it were tighter.

Chaser Game W s2 ep 5/8 (Japanese, Thursdays 12:30 PM EDT, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up!

Affair the series ep 8/8 END (Thai, Fridays 11:15 AM EDT, iQIYI/ YouTube) Other than the jealousy in the last 10 minutes of the show, I really did like this ending for the series. I really liked Wan's decision to take time for herself after being disappointed by Pleng's decision again. The plot and melodramatic-ness of this show is not my favourite, but I enjoyed it week to week in spite of that. The acting was so solid, the women so gorgeous, the chemistry so fire, and the writing was great for the genre its in (the story was internally consistent and coherent, and the characters were complex and their motivations were clear. There was even a good plot reason for the 'they might be siblings' twist). If you don't mind melodrama, give this one a try!

*Pluto ep 1/12 NEW (Thai, Saturdays 9:30 AM EDT, YouTube) Starting off with a fantastic kiss and Namtan on a motorcycle is truly an incredible opening gambit. That being said, I don't buy the core premise of the plot and it is making it difficult for me to actually enjoy the show. I'll probably be mostly quiet about this one because the things I don't like about it aren't actually about its execution but rather my taste.

*Apple My Love ep 2/7 NEW (Thai, Saturdays 11:45 AM EDT, GagaOOLala and YouTube) I already shouted on main about ep1 here; so far I'm obsessed with this show. Kris is too gay to function, and the misunderstanding is perfectly executed. Very excited for this one, it's so far fantastic.

The Loyal Pin ep 12/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Anin's speech in this episode was fire. I feel for these girls, Anin and Pin are just so desperate to be together and their choices are limited. This show continues to be gorgeous and so well done, and I keep bracing for pain.

Red Whisper ep 4/8 (Korea, [schedule is kinda unpredictable; vaguely every 5 days??], YouTube) Cheating and taking advantage while your crush is heartbroken and drunk is not my fave but is par for the course with these SukFilm short series; my fave so far has been their first GL so if you haven't seen that yet I'd honestly recommend that instead.

Recent One-offs & Side Couples

We finally got the sapphic backstory in The Hidden Moon but it was (as expected) sad and mostly inferred.

We also got more of the Aim as a Lesbian plotline in the new Love Sick 2024 remake (this was not a plotline in the 2014 version and it's one of the changes I really like and that I think works really well)

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so

Starting soon:

The Nipple Talk, [ensemble] Taiwanese, 1 November GagaOOLala

My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]

Mom Ped Sawan, Thai, 17 November [international distribution uncertain; it should be on VIPA app with subs, but that is region-locked]

Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, TBD

[curioushabitforarivergod]

💛💚💖 I'm curious 🤭

Ask game: unpopular opinion edition <3

hii tysm for the ask! another chance to spread my hateful words and thoughts! (also a senpai notice me moment ngl 😳🤭)

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

in all honesty, i will back most ships but the one i cannot is drarry. like i get it, theres all this fun evidence but who tf cares. its kind of bland, especially after falling down into the depths tomarrymort and i actually despise 8th year fics which seem to make up a huge portion of it. drarry fans can be very very insufferable (speaking as a former drarry shipper) and i could not stand to be in the same room as more than a few at any one time

also wolfstar. i cant believe i nearly forgot how much i despise it. remus and sirius are not good for each other, and everyone seems so obsessed over it. plus anytime i try to read a marauders fic its just there which puts me off a lot of that part of the fandom in general. i cant stand it even if its a side pairing — the mischaracterisation, the blatant suppression of sirius' personality, changing him into the uwu boy and remus into the badass one (atyd, my op). they definitely were not together before harry's 3rd year and even then i dont think they were actually together. i lowkey hate remus too. hes kind of mid

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

my fave character is harry and the movies did a world of damage to him. they made him boring and flat and so now everyone thinks hes like that. hes not — hes so clever and hes vicious and hes such a complicated person dealing with so much shit. and often ppl make his abuse worse, but thats not the point. neglect and starvation are also abuse, it doesn't have to be overtly physical. it downplays over forms of abuse (i myself have an emotionally abusive relationship w my mother). i hate when people make harry weak in the face of all this — he is so strong and amazing

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

that wolfstar didnt love each other lmao. i honestly dont know what counts as an unpopular opinion. mainly, i think at kings cross when harry dies, it should have been lily to greet him — dumbledore is obviously death and he was the wrong choice to represent the narrative closure. or if not lily, at least someone like sirius. also the characterisation of death in fics; death should be a woman! or at least not portrayed as a man all the time. im just obsessed with that idea. you get it in art/writing sometimes (e.g. Death by Janis Rozentāls (1897) / "There is something female about being dead," Joyce Carol Oates) and it makes me feral.

more unpopular opinons: i dont think regulus was a good guy, i think peter deserved better from everyone around him and the fandom, voldemort was never exorcised as a child and hes far more interesting than parts of the fandom think, the marauders were really bad bullies and SA'd snape but theyre also allowed to grow up — the two arent mutually exclusive, none of the characters are particularly good and none of them fully evil either (nuance ffs), remus is a coward and i hate him a lot

[pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882]

since you're the most qualified person i know regarding dumas, i wanted to know your take on the bbc's The Musketeers (2014). i had a weird obsession with it a few years ago. how well (or not) does it hold up in every aspect (except for the main title track which is above any and all reproach)?

hmmm after long reflection this is difficult to answer because even tho i do in fact like the show, the only specific things i have to say ab it are negative, and i feel that doesnt fully reflect my opinion. i think the best way to summarize it is the show doesnt do anything as good as the books, so when i try to analyze it im just thinking "couldve been better" but i do admire their honesty in saying its "inspired by the characters" instead "based on the books" or whatevey. anway ill try to hit some more specific points:

they did my boy rochefort soooooo dirty!!! why did they slander him like that hes a very cool chill guy in the books and him and d'art have such a cute lil friendship in vaa, whyyy did they make him such a horrible little creeper #notmyroachie also what is adaptations repeated fixation on eyepatches? he literally doesnt have one

i dont feel as strongly ab the grimaud slander bc that change is funny as heck. he bears zero resemblence to book!grimaud but if book!grimaud decided to hunt athos for sport i would support him. tho i do think if they wanted to make him a villain they shouldve made it /him/ as a villain, not just some guy w the same name. or even commit to the bit and do an evil lackey squad. also its a tv show they had time to include more of the side charcters from the book [such as the lackeys] but didnt?? like this applies to others but im a lackey stan so i think of them first. its interesting how a lot of modern adaptations tend to minimize or erase servant characters when in some classic lit [particularly these] they are major side characters

ryan gage as louis 13 slayed immensely. he did not have to bring that much to his performance but he did and it was amazing

costume design was mid at best, and made all the worse by louis and the occasional side character wearing stuff thats actually in the vicinity of 1630s so that i see them and think "why not everyone?" i will say that they tended to have internal consistancy with each other so there is that going for it, but i absolutley HATED how the mouskos literally never changed clothes. like they got new fits in s3 but then they never changed out of those? a single cloth doublet im begging d'art got MARRIED in that crusty leather fit even tho his gf is literally a seamstress its horrible

calzone brought up that pretty much every woman in the show gets victimized at some point, which, yeah and it kinda makes the feminist monets feel a lil performative. also they fell into some of my milady adapting pet peeves: massive stat debuffs, made her sad ab athos, over-reliance on pop culture femme fatale tropes rather than her actual canon, etc. that one ep where perdita weeks showed up as a grifter/assassin and i just sat there and thought "that shouldve been milady. also people who think s3 was bad bc theyre butthurt ab milathos are wrong and stupid. s3 was bad bc of spiderman 3 syndrome [too many villains making it unfocused]

very uneven amounts of screentime for the mouskos? i swear half of the episodes were aramis-centric and maybe 2 overall were d'art-centric? make that make sense. actually fr what WAS the shows obsession w aramis, esp when they got rid of his more complicated and interesting book traits. hes barely even catholic in this, much less slutty and evil. all les inseperables were a lil ooc but i expect that in adaptations to an extent [tho i do feel they lost some of the charm of how wildly different they are from eachother in the books] the casting itself was pretty good though and i feel cabrera couldve done a good aramis if they had given him better writing to work with [also: hilarious how aramis spends most of the show in a committed monogamous situationship while /athos/ of all people has the three weed smoking girlfriends]

absolutely comical how much a bbc production went out of its way to avoid any of the england related plots from the novels. what, worried about even the slightest potential of portraying england less than favourably? tbh aside from dumas' funny narratorial comments england gets a pretty fair shake in the books, so excluding buckingham etc. in favour of making up plots ab spain is just silly.

absolutely loved that one time they went to the morgue to investigate a case they shouldve done that more it was funny. i think the show was at its best when it was having silly goofy moods [athos' "funeral"? peak]

uhh i think thats it for specifics, if there was something you had in mind you can ask and i probably do have a thought ab it that i just like forgot lol. anyway solid 6/10 ive seen it multiple times and am open to watching it again, like you said bangin theme song

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

Hi I’m back I love ur answers…

What are your general headcanons for Akiren and Akechi, both as individual characters and as a relationship? If you have any ofc. If you don’t then what are your favorite p5 AUs…

-💫

I'm gonna be real w you I totally do have headcanons but I'm so bad at listing them. Someone asks what my headcanons are and my brain does an emergency sweep and ctrl alt deletes all of them. So I'm gonna list the AUs first cause I do have so many of those and then see if my brain will be willing to offer me anything once I've gotten started talking about them.

First of all we have my big murder boyfriends au aka accomplice au that eventually turns into a swap au. I was in the middle of doing an ask game about it years ago when suddenly my brain did an ADHD and I never posted about it again. 😔 I have it all written down somewhere so I totally could finish the ask game but will I? Will I.......

I also have an Akeshu Ballerina AU, which you can read about all in one nice short post for once, it's a sweet and simple AU and also the first akeshu AU I came up with years ago haha.

I have my gorobot au, which is my most recent AU, and I even have a tiny bit of art for it. Gorobot AU my beloved...most of my AUs will never be written since there's just far too many of them, but I really wanna write something for this one someday.

I have my Akeshu Perform Wicked AU which you can read over on bluesky, it's mostly a silly crack thing but I love it so much nonetheless.

Princess Bride AU!! I love Buttercup Akechi and genderswap akeshu pls read the Princess Bride book it's so delightful

Amnesia Akechi AU. Inspired by a fic I read once that was good but I felt the concept had a lot of untapped potential. There are so many amazing things you can explore with an Akechi who has memory loss...the Actualized!Akechi coding, his already severe identity issues, his need for agency but intense self hatred, Akira wanting to protect him but also missing the original Akechi and loving every side of him, the way Akechi would absolutely believe he's not really himself without his memories...it could be So Good why are there not more fics like this y'all are sleeping

I think I would be a failure as a writer if I didn't shill for my Akechi Palace AU, since that's my main wip rn and basically my big Akechi magnum opus. Or it will be. Someday. Pls read it I prommy you'll like it it's everything to me

ok there are probably more I have forgotten tbh I'm obsessed with creating AUs and I have many more AUs that focus on Akechi or Royal Trio but these are the Akeshu AUs I'm able to remember at the moment. with that said let's attempt to list some headcanons

- neither Akira nor Akechi are morning people, Akira was forced to become one by Morgana but he always sleeps in like crazy on weekends (this fact is canon) and would stay up until the wee hours of the morning if it weren't for Morgana's pestering. Akechi has conditioned himself into a morning person because he had no choice with that schedule of his but if you attempt to converse with him before he's had his coffee your life WILL be in danger. future akeshu who have jobs that accommodate their schedules sleeping well into the morning and cuddling in bed until noon <3

- Akira comes from a relatively well off family that's popular in the small town he's from, which is part of why his arrest was such a big scandal, the kid of the Kurusu's is a criminal?? huge big deal to everyone in the city. his parents were always pretty neglectful and only cared about him on the level of his performance at school and as maintaining his reputation as a Good Kurusu. He's an only child. He had lots of "friends" who hung around him because of his status as a Kurusu but he never got close to anyone before moving to Tokyo and felt lonely. Basically, his backstory is almost the exact opposite of Akechi's--privileged and popular. But ultimately still alone.

- Chef Akira and Baker Goro

- I know I use "akeshu" almost exclusively but they're actually switches lmao. I don't really care about sexual dynamics (very ace) but that's kind of their whole thing. being equals and challenging each other and shit. so yeah, absolutely they are switches

I tried so hard to think of a fifth headcanon but man I am SO bad at this. if you wanna know my headcanons truly the best way to find out is to just read my fics I'm gonna be real, that's where you'll find most of them (pspspsps read my palace au)

[seraphicloves]

Rom-Coms I Have Watched:

ᡣ𐭩 notes: writing this right before i head to bed lol!! I thought this would jst be a bit of fun + i can add to it as i watch more romcoms ☺️ comment your fav romcoms if you want <3

10 Things I Hate About You:

Ugh, I absolutely adore this movie. It's literally one of my top three favorite movies, I love it so much. Patrick Verona is my dream man, I love him with my whole heart. Oh and cutie Cameron, I love him too!!

13 Going On 30

I also love this one! "Mattie!" Although the cheating is an ick so I don't like it as much as the others. It is still a major comfort movie and I rewatch it regularly.

Miss Congeniality

I love love love this movie!! She is such a baddie and impressively not annoying despite having typical "pick me" traits. I think I don't find it annoying because by the end of the movie she learns to love her feminine side and that not every girly girl is a major bitch yk?

Easy A

Iconic and hilarious. Not fully a romcom but def a chick flick so I had to put it on the list. In fact I am hoping to dress up as the main character for Halloween.

She's The Man

Another iconic one. I quote some of the lines regularly (Bros..brothers..brethren?) And I alsl watch this whenever I'm feeling down!! Channing Tatum is also goregous in the movie so i get the hype.

Holidate:

This one was certainly different from my usual movies however I loved it a lot. I am now obsessed with the lead actress and I am going to watch everything she's in. I am also going to be rewatching this movie every Christmas.

How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days

I watched this one the day I am writing this lol! But I loved it, I have "You're So Vain" stuck in my head right now. Andie and Ben were so so cute together and I loved the ending.

Love Actually:

Okay contrary to the track record of opinions, i did not like this movie. A lot of the storylines were terribly sad and not at all putting me in the holiday spirit. However the happy storylines were lovely and if I had a movie with just those, I would love it.

Prom Pact:

Disney actually devoured with this one. It was cute it was funny, it even had a dirty joke! Truly I don't know what drugs Disney was on but I'm sure glad they were on it.

Princess Diaries:

In the books I love her with Michael but in the movies she is so cute w the one guy she is enemies with in the second movie. I haven't seen it in ages but it is still gold.

A Cinderella Story:

Chad Michael Murry will forever be hot and Hillary Duff with forever be lovely. It was cute it was simple, I love it. It's feel good and expected, but what more can you ask for?

Ella Enchanted:

Not sure if people even remember this movie but I love it loads. Anne Hathaway is an icon and ofc they are so cute in this movie! Not to mention the ending is a major classic.

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[delusioniste]

Hi mod, i saw that you write for Prison Playbook, thank you so mucho 😭🙏🏽 can you pls do a headcanon or a oneshot for Captain Yoo (Haein's character), i'm obsessed w that man and i can't find any fics for him 🥺 pls i beg you 🙏🏽

유대위/Captain Yoo Jung-woo | Reader (슬기로운 감빵생활/Prison Playbook)

Hi darling, thanks for requesting xxx I don't exactly enjoy writing for widely liked and conventionally attractive characters but here you gooo! Hope you enjoy! Warning(s): suggestive at times

- Yoo Jung-woo is super down to earth (the okokok to your lalala basically) and embodies rationale and logical decision-making

- he does the finances, if you want to do them he will try to help even if his help is not needed because he's convinced he takes it more seriously than you

- law and order™

- however he has a lighter side and mucks around with you frequently à la rolling around the floor laughing at some sort of meme or funny anecdote or just because he farted and you attacked him for it

- enjoys cooking with you a lot, is good at noodle dishes

- likes to eat kimchi and spicy food but is not willing to actually make it himself (so you go to the shops instead)

- workout freak, 24/7

- never, ever skips the sport (makes sense because of his military profession lmao) and when at home encourages you to participate (personal trainer at no cost)

- smiles at you often with the attitude of letting you in on a secret, even when you're at the opposite end of the room

- favourite thing is holding hands with you

- dislikes formal wear like blazers and chinos and shirts except for his service uniform, has a varied collection of t-shirts

- you are so welcome to borrow them, he enjoys seeing them on you + slipping his hands underneath to put them on your hips and send you into shock with his cold skin

- likes scaring you with his cold skin in general

- conscious of duty and honour and has an extremely strong moral sense, is not afraid to defend you from any harassment and also anyone else he encounters for that matter

- punctuality is written in capitals, will forgive you if you're late though because he's your boyfriend

- likes swimming in mountain creeks and waterfalls, you often go on long hikes with him in national parks and other mountainous areas

- is ticklish

- you wearing his uniform beret

- is a sweet and soft kisser, not the type to eat your mouth out (he can do so if desired but he doesn't do that on a regular basis), always smiles at you after

- is a hugging person but in general less physical

- sits you down on the sofa or the floor and brushes your hair with painstaking care and love as if he's doing an asmr video

- gathers the fallen hairs and makes the effort of binning them for you

- you like going food shopping together

- his brother is so glad that Jung-woo has you, you get invited to their house often

- sexy time is varied and fun, you both like to switch and try out different things, he will be serious but also smile at you like an angel sent from heaven

- eats you out with relish

- will wash your hair for you when you shower (baths at home are uncommon in korea) (I know this bc I'm a korean myself)

- sleeps like a rock, is irritated if disturbed and will ignore you and try to get back to sleep

- when you're down or struggling he will talk you through it and offer reassurance, constructive criticism, hugs and rational solutions and a neutral perspective

- has fixed routines (again owing to the army) and is not the most flexible person tbh, likes being prepared but doesn't get angry if he isn't

- generally slow to anger, is a forgiver and forgetter, but also can deliver the driest, most humiliating, holier-than-thou, withering lectures ever

- a sweet boyfriend to have

[rosypenguins]

🍃Elm Tree (Part One)🍃

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

Synopsis: 5 times Dominic felt something more for Elliot, and 1 time he realized someone else felt the same.

A/N: I don’t know why I did this. I just really like Dom’s character, and wanted to write something with him, which, of course, resulted in romance. A lot of this will likely become outdated considering Dominic and Faye only have about 5 minutes of actual screen-time, but I don’t care. I want to get more people talking about him. (Also, this is my first time writing a 5+1 fic, so I hope it turned out okay.)

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

“Surprised you’ve never done this before, Ellie.” Dominic commented, fingers weaving thin flower stems together in the beginnings of a flower crown.

The Gardening Club had wrapped up their usual activities almost an hour early, and since no one else had anything better to do, Dom and Faye suggested the four make flower crowns together. However, Bradley and Elliot had almost no experience in the matter, so the twins decided to take it upon themselves to teach them. And while Faye took Bradley to the opposite end of the garden to look for ‘nicer’ flowers, Dom and Elliot stayed close to the marigolds, sitting down near the flower beds to start working on their own crowns.

“I’m… not really good with more detailed tasks like this…” Elliot answered, as if the shakiness of his hands didn’t already make that clear.

“That’s okay. You just need practice, that’s all.” Dom replied. “I mean, my first flower crown was far from perfect. It practically fell apart the moment I put it on. Faye wouldn’t stop teasing me about it for weeks.”

“How long have you been making them for?” Elliot asked, and Dom shrugged.

“Long time now. Faye taught me when we were younger. She was obsessed with fairies back then. Always had to run around the house wearing one.” He trailed off for a moment, picking another flower to add to the ring he’d created. “I don’t make them as much anymore. But it’s still pretty fun.”

“I see.”

The two fell silent for a while; Dom only glancing up on occasion to provide assistance when needed. But eventually, Dom completed his crown. Record time, too.

“Viola!” Dom exclaimed, holding it out to show off. Elliot’s eyes widened.

“W-wow! That was fast!” He said, and Dom shrugged, a small smirk appearing on his face.

“What can I say? I’m just a natural! He bragged, before leaning a little closer to Elliot. “How’s yours going?” He asked.

“Good, I think. Just need to-” Just as Elliot lifted his fingers from the stems, the knot he’d made came completely undone. The flowers fell into his lap, and for a split moment, it looked as if he was about to cry. “…Nevermind.”

“Heh, hey, it’s alright. It happens sometimes.” Dom said. He gave him a reassuring smile, but Elliot refused to lift his head.

“…Sorry I’m so bad at this.” He mumbled.

“Ellie. It’s your first time. Go a little easy on yourself.” Dom stated, setting his flower crown to the side as he scooted a little closer. “I’ll walk you through it a little slower this time.” Elliot nodded, opening his mouth to say something, but ultimately deciding against it. Instead, he gathered up the flowers that had fallen into his lap, recreating the first step Dom had showed him.

Perhaps Dom should’ve done this from the beginning, instead of just telling Elliot what to do and expecting him to follow an example three steps ahead. Although this method was a lot slower, Elliot seemed to understand a lot better. And Dom was having just as much fun as he was before. Although, that was probably just because he was spending time with Elliot. Elliot was always good company.

After a while, Elliot finally managed to complete his flower crown. It was a little thin, and a little misshapen, but it certainly was a crown.

“Did I do it?” Elliot asked, holding it out to him. Dom grinned.

“Yeah you did! Look at you!” Elliot hummed in response, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Mind if I try it on?”

“Uhm, s-sure.” He agreed, and Dom carefully took the crown from him, placing it on top of his head to see if it’d hold. And sure enough, it did.

“Hey! It held! Good job!” Dom cheered, holding up his hand for a high five. Hesitantly, Elliot tapped his hand to his, giving him what was possibly the most gentle high-five in all of history.

“Oh, here! Try mine on!” Dom said, taking the flower crown he made earlier and motioning for Elliot to lower his head, placing the crown on his head once he’d done so.

Dom leaned back to view his work, and Elliot lifted his head, fixing his hair while his eyes remained on his lap. And perhaps that was for the best, because in that moment, Dom had a realization:

Elliot’s… really pretty…

The flower crown fit him perfectly, complimenting his gentle features beautifully. And suddenly, Dom was starting to feel a little warm.

“…H-how’s it look?” Elliot asked, which snapped Dom out of… whatever that was.

“Uh- oh, yeah! You- It look great, Ellie!” Dom said, giving him a thumbs-up and a smile.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, ‘course!”

…The two fell silent for a moment, and Dom quickly became aware of how fast his heart had started beating.

“Uhm! Hey! Wanna go see how Faye and Brad are doing?” He asked.

“Oh, sure!” Elliot agreed, fixing his glasses slightly. “L-Let’s go!”

…Well, that was a little strange.

*+*+*

“Come on, come on! You’ve just gotta meet Bitsy!” Faye exclaimed, reaching out for Elliot’s hand and practically dragging the poor gardening boy inside their house.

This was the first time Elliot was coming over to their place. And immediately, Faye was trying to introduce him to her beloved obsession. No proper introduction. No tours, no common courtesy, only Bitsy.

What a great first impression.

“O-oh, uhm, okay!” Elliot agreed, giving a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he allowed her to guide them through the house. Dom followed closely behind, taking it upon himself to ensure this hangout wouldn’t end in complete disaster. Club meetings would be a lot more awkward, otherwise…

Faye pushed open the door to their shared room, revealing a basic, albeit messy bedroom setup. There was a bunk bed against the left wall, with pale orange bedsheets and pillows. The bottom bed was left somewhat made, and was covered in various spider plushies of different sizes and colors. Meanwhile, the top bunk was a complete disaster. Pillows and blankets scattered around haphazardly with clothes hanging over the edge and a massive squirrel Squishmallow sitting in the corner.

There was a closet and desk against the back wall, and to the right was a rather large spider enclosure, which was very tidy and well-taken care of. Probably the only thing about the room that could be described as tidy. The rest was a mess, with clothes and shoes scattered across the floor and clutter taking up almost every surface.

The only somewhat saving grace was the golden fairy lights strung up around the place. Made it look a little more whimsical, and not so much like a disaster.

“Lemme go get her!” Faye said, making her way over to Bitsy’s enclosure. Dom, meanwhile, stood beside Elliot, crossing his arms as he bit the inside of his cheek.

“…You sure you wanna do this?” He asked. “You don’t have to-”

“No, no, I do- I mean-” Elliot took a quick breath. “I want to. A-And besides! It’s just a spider. How scary can it- oh fudge…”

Elliot’s voice trailed off as Faye turned around, revealing a small tarantula cradled in her hands.

“Tada! Here she is! Isn’t she just adorable?”

Dom turned to see Elliot’s reaction, only to watch as the color drained from his face. His body went rigid, chest completely still. If it weren’t for the fact he was still standing, Dom would’ve assumed he died right then and there.

“Y-yeah. C-cute…” Elliot managed, his bottom lip trembling. Faye lowered her hands, tilting her head as a frown overtook her expression.

“Are… you alright, Elliot? You look-” Before she could finish, Bitsy leaped from her palms, landing just beside Elliot’s feet.

And Elliot shrieked, reaching a pitch Dom didn’t even know was possible.

And before Dom could even process what was happening, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer and squeezing him tight.

And he glanced over to see Elliot, with his eyes blown wide as he stared Bitsy down.

His arms tightened further, and Dom could barely breathe. It was easy to forget how strong Elliot was, considering his quiet and gentle demeanor.

Dom opened his mouth to say something, but before he could even get the words out, the scent of lavender and sage hit the back of his throat. Elliot’s shampoo, maybe? He wasn’t quite sure, but his head was starting to get a little fuzzy. They were so close right now, closer than they’d ever been before…

He could feel Elliot’s heart pounding in his chest, and the slight shakiness of his arms. Why was Dom still standing there? Why wasn’t he doing anything? Why did everything feel so warm?

“Ah, Bitsy!” Faye cried, and suddenly, time was moving again. Bitsy was scurrying out of the room and Faye was in pursuit, chasing her down the hallway.

And Elliot was still clinging to him. Still shaking and barely breathing.

“Uhm…” Dom managed. “Ellie?”

It took a moment for Elliot to respond. He blinked once, twice, then gasped, quickly throwing himself off of him.

And Dom tried not to think about the sudden absence of warmth he felt.

“Dominic! I-I- oh my gosh, I am so so sorry! I-I don’t know- I didn’t-” Elliot’s face was getting redder with every word. He buried his face in his hands, mumbling incoherent apologies.

“Hey, hey! It’s fine!” Dom said, waving his hands in front of him. “I get it. I- uhm…” Dom cleared his throat. “You- you wanna talk in the kitchen? So you don’t… you know? Have to see Bitsy when Faye gets back?” Elliot opened his mouth, then closed it, giving a simple nod in response. With a quick motion of his head, Dom led the way.

“Sorry she lunged at you like that. Bitsy doesn’t… usually do that.” Elliot shook his head.

“I-I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I-It’s just a spider. And… and it’s not like they’re poisonous, r-right?” Dom scratched the back of his head.

“Well, they are venomous-” Elliot shuttered. “-But their venom isn’t deadly!” He quickly finished. “And Bitsy’s never bitten anyone before, so it’s not like she would have hurt you at all. She’s honestly pretty friendly. Well- as friendly as a spider can be.”

The two arrived in the kitchen, and Dom pulled out a chair from the dinner table for Elliot. It took a moment for him to register the seat was in fact intended for him, and he gave a quiet ‘thank you’ before sitting down. Dom nodded in response, taking a seat beside him and resting his elbows against the table.

“I… didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?” Elliot asked slowly, averting his gaze as he tugged at the hem of his shirt.

“No! Not at all!” Dom assured him. He gave him a warm smile, but Elliot refused to look up.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He said, his gaze softening as he rested a hand against Elliot’s arm. And he tried not to think too hard about the closeness the two had shared. Tried even harder not to question why he liked it so much.

“We all have things we’re scared of.” He continued, then paused, debating his next words carefully. Slowly, he took a breath. “I’m… still kinda afraid of the dark, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Really?” Elliot asked, finally glancing up to look at him. And Dom swallowed. He hadn’t really told anyone other than Faye before.

“Y-yeah. I still have a night-light in my room and everything.” He admitted, scratching the back of his head with a chuckle.

“Oh, me too!” Elliot said, and Dom’s eyes widened slightly. “But, it’s mostly just so I don’t trip over my nightstand in the middle of the night. Heh…” Dom laughed. Was he even supposed to be laughing right now? The fuzziness still hadn’t fully left his head just yet.

“I still manage to trip over all kinds of stuff with mine.” He joked. And now Elliot was laughing, drawing a hand over his mouth to obscure his smile. And a part of Dom so desperately wished that hand wasn’t there…

He found himself staring. Caught in that same trance he’d been in earlier, watching as Elliot’s laughter slowly faded and he took a moment to fix his glasses before finally meeting Dom’s gaze.

And their eyes met for a moment.

“Uhm… Dominic?”

Dom blinked, sitting up slightly. Crap! Uh- words! Words! Something!

“…Wanna go meet my gerbils?”

*+*+*

“Come on, Ellie! We’re almost there!” Dom exclaimed, pushing tree branches aside to allow him and Elliot through. It was a warm, Sunday afternoon. The perfect day for Dom and Faye to bring Elliot to the duck pond with them. This would be the first time anyone else had tagged along with them, and Dom found himself almost giddy with excitement. He never had the opportunity to introduce someone else to the ducks before. He couldn’t wait to ramble about them.

“That’s the third time you’ve said that, Dom.” Faye suddenly piped up. She was a little further ahead of them, having memorized the path after countless journeys. She had a bag of frozen peas tucked under her arm; the usual snack they brought for the ducks. Due to Dom’s tendency to ‘over-feed’ them, she insisted on carrying it.

“Well, sorry for being excited. Why do you have be such a kill-joy?” Faye only shook her head in response, before continuing down the path.

And after a few more minutes of walking, Dom could finally hear the sound of the splashing water. The ducks must’ve already been there.

Dom could barely contain his excitement. He loved ducks. And now, he was finally able to share that love with Elliot.

The three took a right, and the lake finally came into view. Just as Dom suspected, several ducks had gathered nearby. Dom couldn’t help but smile.

“There they are! Come on!” Without even thinking, Dom slid his hand into Elliot’s, whisking past Faye and heading straight for the ducks. And surprisingly, none of them swam off.

“Looks like the gang’s all here!” Dom said as they reached the ledge. “There’s Bernard, that’s Walter the II, over there’s Loaf-” Dom continued down the list, pointing out each duck as Faye opened the bag of peas, causing all the ducks to swim a little closer. However, as his list came to an end, he soon realized something.

Someone’s missing…

“…How do you tell them all apart?” Elliot asked, and Faye laughed.

“It’s easy, silly! They all have different feather markings! See, take Bernard and Walter for example. Bernard’s head’s a little darker than Walter’s. Oh! And his tail has a little bit more black in it, too!”

“…Hmm.”

“Hey, Faye?” Dom asked, turning to see her toss a handful of peas into the water.

“Yeah?”

“You see Matilda anywhere?” He asked, and Faye glanced over the ducks that had gathered.

“Hm… no I don’t. That’s weird.” Dom nodded, before leaning a little closer to Elliot.

“Don’t tell the other ducks, but I think Matilda’s my favorite.” He whispered. “She is the roundest bird I’ve ever seen. Rotund, even. She’s always fighting the other ducks for peas. I’m surprised she’s not out here…” Dom placed a finger against his chin, reaching into the pea bag and tossing another handful in, watching as the ducks scrambled to scarf them down. “She had babies about a month ago, though. Maybe that’s why she’s not out here?”

Elliot nodded, slowly reaching into the bag and tossing a few peas in the water as well.

“I’m guessing you guys come here pretty often, huh?” He asked, and Dom nodded.

“Oh, we’ve been coming here for years now. I don’t even remember when it started. I think we just stumbled across this place when we were younger, and just kinda… turned feeding them into a routine.” Dom tossed a couple more peas into the water, and Elliot did the same, smiling softly as he watched them splash around in the water.

Eventually, the three decided to settle on the ledge, taking turns tossing peas into the water.

And a gentle breeze had picked up after a while, bringing with it the faint scent of pine. Dom watched as it whisked past him, dancing through Elliot’s hair before carrying on with its journey.

And Elliot smiled to himself, running a hand through his soft pink locks to smooth them back down.

…And Dom found himself staring. Admiring the way Elliot looked beneath the dappled sunlight. The subtle blush to his cheeks, the warmth in his eyes. And that familiar, fuzzy feeling returned to him, filling his chest with a warmth not even the sun could replicate.

…In that exact moment, everything was perfect.

Because he was doing something he loved, and he was sharing it with the people he was closest to: his sister, and his best friend.

…Could he even call Elliot his best friend? Or was it too soon to do so? Him and Elliot had only known each other for about a months or so, but somehow, it felt almost longer than that. He couldn’t really explain it, but it felt like Elliot was someone he’d always known. Someone he could always turn to.

Maybe Dom just wasn’t too familiar with friendships. He couldn’t say he had many friends outside of Faye, much less close ones. Likely due to his habit of going on completely unrelated tangents regarding his interests.

But Elliot was different than anyone he’d met before. Because unlike most people, who tuned out his words and only nodded along out of common courtesy, Elliot actually listened to him. He’d ask questions. He’d express interest. And it was refreshing, to finally be seen and understood by someone other than his sister. Perhaps that was why he felt so close to him…

Regardless, Dom was happy to be with him. And that was all that mattered.

“Hey, there’s another duck over there…” Elliot commented, finally pulling Dom out of his trance. He turned to where Elliot was pointing, only to see a large brown duck swimming towards them, with three little ducklings in tow.

“Matilda!” Dom shouted, and without warning, he shot up, running over to greet her.

But one misstep was all it took for the rocks to slide out from under him, knocking him off his balance and sending him tumbling into the water.

“Dominic!”

Dom landed on his hands and knees with a splash, cold water soaking through his clothes and leaving him shocked. The ducks made a bit of commotion, but none flew off.

Faye suddenly burst out laughing, and Dom groaned, sitting himself upright.

“Are you alright?” Dom glanced over his shoulder to see Elliot running over to him, bending down and extending him a hand.

And the way the light practically framed his silhouette looked-

“Oh, yeah- yeah, I’m fine.” Dom responded, taking his hand and allowing himself to be pulled from the water. “Just a bit soggy now.”

“I’m… honestly surprised it wasn’t that deep. Thank- thank goodness for that, right?” Dom nodded, and Elliot let go of his hand.

“You’re never going to learn, are you?” Faye asked as she made her way over. Dom crossed his arms.

“Oh, shut up.” He mumbled with a huff. Faye chuckled, before leaning a little closer to Elliot, covering her mouth with her hand.

“He has about a 50% chance of falling into this pond every time we come here.” She told him, and Dom could feel himself flush slightly. “He’s a bit stupid.”

“Um! I am right here!” He yelled. “And it’s not my fault the rocks like to be so unstable around the ledge!”

“Maybe just don’t walk about the ledge then, genius!”

“But then I don’t get to see the ducks as well!”

“Then get your dang eyes checked!”

“Pay to have them puff air into my eyes? Hah, not a chance!” Faye rolled her eyes.

“Then get used to falling into ponds, stupid.” She retorted, and Dom stuck his tongue out in response, tugging off his orange sweater to reveal a plain white t-shirt underneath. Obviously, it wasn’t any dryer, but at least it wasn’t as heavy. After squeezing a bit of the water out, Dom tied it around his waist, glancing up when he heard Faye sigh.

“I’ll take that as our sign to start heading back.” She said, rolling up the bag of peas.

“What?!” Dom cried. “But Matilda just got-!”

“Wet. Socks.”

…Great, now that was all he could focus on.

“Mmm… ugh, Faye! Why’d you have to point it out?!”

“Because you can’t stay in wet clothes all day. Besides, if we feed the ducks anymore, they’ll get as fat as Matilda!” Dom groaned, before letting out a sigh of defeat.

“Fiiiine. Let me just… say goodbye real quick.” And before she had a chance to even respond, Dom snatched the peas from her, running back to the water.

“Dominic!”

He tossed a heaping handful of peas in Matilda’s direction. And if other ducks happened to steal a few… well, he couldn’t help that.

“Goodbye, everyone!” He called, giving them a wave. “I’ll see you all soon!” The ducks quacked in response, and Dom liked to imagine they were saying goodbye as well.

He turned back to see Faye glaring at him, taking back the bag of peas from him before leading the way back home.

…

And the first thing Dominic did when the three got home was shower, changing into an old pair of sweats before joining Elliot and Faye in the living room. He threw himself on the couch just beside Elliot, bundling himself under the blankets they’d gathered and making himself just as comfortable. The three talked for a while, before eventually deciding to watch a bunch of old Disney movies that Dom and Faye had on DVD. The first of which being Cinderella. The disk was a little scratched due to it’s age, so some scenes were a little glitchy, but Elliot didn’t seem to mind much, saying nothing as he sank a little further into the couch.

And Dom found himself leaning against Elliot’s arm after a while, finding comfort in his warmth. There was that soft, fuzzy feeling blooming in his chest again; it’d grown to be quite familiar now.

Everything felt so serene. The dim lighting, the soft audio coming from the TV, the faint buzz of the AC, the warmth of heavy blankets being shared...

And the last scene he could remember was the Prince’s waltz with Cinderella. The gentle serenade regarding the idea of love lulling him into a peaceful sleep.

[lilac-udon]

the person you like is perfect and just too good to be with you, you look at yourself and know how horrible and disgusting yourself is, so you just want the person you admire to be with someone better off

I realize this is how I imagined basil, he is selfless but till the last moment, he broke, the glimpse of hope he still has for his friend , and the selfishness of wanting something for once, wanting to be saved by someone he should have saved

I’m like very bad at analyzing, I haven’t touched the game for about two years? The point is I never felt we see all of basil, and I don’t think the last three days can summarize up his whole character. I know a lot people already knew the last fight with sunny is because the situation(and I knew still people just see that as a whole) , on the other hand, dream w basil is also unrealistic, like dw Aubrey, it may or may not being sunny wanted how thing are(but I still like to add the sunny dream world is really spot on and perfect copy memory) w which dream world basil being extreme with only the good side sunny see, other emotions or flaw at first I think he just push on to stranger as the part he didn’t want to witness, however, besides stranger being angry and disappointed of sunny, I don’t see too much of a negative personality for basil (however the whole cast are very friendly and wholesome)

I type so much just saying

I don’t understand basil

I hate yandere basil, but I also hate him being passive to no aggressive, and a lot of time I think it became all fanon because idk

I felt like every character can have our own interpretation but I just felt like basil is hard to work w,he is rather too cute and passive or just straight up obsessive creep

Also lot of times ppl ignore everything

He just happy

Another kel

Kinda

Actually if nothing happens

They all kel

Besides sunny and Aubrey

Oh don’t let me write about kel

I have more to talk about

[majorcharacterundeath]

i do wish the baby changling had survived. ik they needed to give Odo back his shapeahifting but that wasnt a very satisfying way to do it. it mightve been if he or anyone else talked about the baby but they dont!

not to mention whoever on the writing team was obsessed w the characters forgiving their shit fathers. Dr Mora makes everything all about him and cant Odo see that he had to hurt him? he belittles and berates Odo and tells him just how disapointed his is in Odo for being too childish to forgive him. every one of his apologies is an excuse and never once takes any real consideration of Odo's hurt

and Sisko sees this happen! he hears the way Mora talks to his son! and he shouldve taken him aside and been like hey theres a very good reason Odo never talks to you. it wouldve been nice to see Mora actually acknowledge Odo's hurt and really apologize, but the way they left it was gross

and i do wonder if Dr Mora's insistance that they keep pushing the little changling was why it died. it was recovering from radiation sickness! they dont have a great understanding of changling physiology. Odo's approach of letting it rest and get comfortable was the right one, the episode says so. i wish it had also made Mora consider slowing the fuck down. the cardassians arent there to kill him if the kid cant be party entertainment soon enough

side note Mora is a bad scientist. he admits to not keeping records because hes too busy w the next experiment, like thats not a big deal. he shouldve been fired

[sakiyaki-sashimi]

Dropping again since it seems you’re free today and the rest of my classes are basically free periodddss :3

I’ll have to look at those characters.. And while looking through my notes, I found out the characters I really like was Mishima :D

And I’ll probably do that.. send more snapshot like asks once you find me out.. And just generally @ you more, might take me a second since this evil (anxiety) might get me but trust it’ll be so cool!!!

AND YEAH I GOT CLOCKED BY THE IRLS. Thank the lords they don’t know my tumblr or they’d probably start dm-ing me about my parasocial behavior sighhhh.. they just don’t get me.. /silly

Lobe Kenji content actually.. Talking about BSD, did you ever get into those really big fanfics where it was BSD crossovers.. I’m talking like, Magic and Mystery? (I think that’s what it was called? The one where Dazai goes to Hogwarts..) Then there was Into Your World (Atsushi + Akutgawa x MHA) and then This Color Ain’t It (Which was Kenji x MHA). I love crossovers so much.. I would love to write a crossover fanfiction but no idea what I’d crossover.. RP WOULD BE FUN TOO! I’d have to think on WHO I would as though.. AND NOT SILLYSTRING! Also one of my moots though :D

I WILL WATCH JJK GUYS!! (I’ve had this on my watchlist as two of my friends adore it but I just have been stalling on it..) AND I’VE HEARD VOLTRON IS A LONGGG RIDE.. appreciate the heads up..

AND I LISTENED TO THE SONG AND THAT’S SO SWEET GRRR.. EXPLODES YOU.. /pos

HARD TO TALK TO? REALLY? Legitimately have never thought that.. Out of everyone who I’ve talked to on tumblr, I’m the least anxious with you because you’re good at making me feel welcomed to do so :3 Even if it fades out or etc etc, I really do enjoy our conversations! SO YES. To me you seem so impossibly unlikable so the fact someone else hasn’t said it first it mind blowing.. So yes, I take a W!! Especially since I know someone being obsessive can be perceived as creeepyyy.. which I don’t blame, but I’m happy you don’t seem utterly creeped out by me being.. silly and parasocial hahahahaahahah.. I look into the horizon..

YEAH THIS HAS BEEN COOL!! I’ll probably still send my all too long asks even after you find me out.. Maybe with more space in between them but they probably won’t disappear completely.. No hint today since you’ve literally got a list of like.. 5? People on who I could be so soon enough, long anon will no longer be a secret.. OKAY! ILY ILY BYE BYE!!! I swim awaaaayyyyyy…

HIIIII IM WORKING ON UR PLAYLIST RN GREAT TIMING!!!

Yeah I’m not at school today :333 my mom’s the GOAT so I didn’t have to go!!

Omg Mishima <333 he’s very cardboard-cutout to me design wise but he’s very sweet!! And a little bit creepy somehow XD most dark-haired boys in persona have a tendency to just be a LILLL bit weird tho LOLL

Btw don’t worry abt being anxious!! Honestly I kinda am too… I have a tendency to bolt when I start to get closer to ppl, but I’m pushing past that bc ur cool!!

LOLLL the IRLs will never understand the landmine symbiotic process sighhhhh

OMG I LOVE MAGIC AND MYSTERY!!!! I’m so sad that Allegory_for_Hatred will never continue it 😭 I haven’t read those others before tho!! I’m very Dazai centric bc I kin him LOLOZLZZZ I do LOVE BSD x HP or BSD x MHA fics tho, very secure place in my heart <333 I ALSO LOVE WHEN HP OR MHA CROSSES OVER WITH FMA!!!!

I now know ur not sillystring! Ur one of the 5 people on that list… can I guess that ur NOT sad-clown or your-favorite-stalker-200k? Bc I don’t think I talk to them enough for the hints to align…

Wahhh!! I’m gonna start watching Shameless soon so we’ll def be on different sides of the TV show coin later, but if u get into JJK while I’m on my mini hype of it that’ll be fun X3

EXPLODES U BACK /VPOS

WAHHWAHHWHAHWHWAWAHHHHH THANK UUUU SM!!!!!!! Maybe we’re both just a little strange talk-wise so we match <333 but I feel the same about you! It’s rly hard to talk to other anons but with u it’s so easy!

Wahhhh no hint for me? No fair!! But I’ll suffice anyway, I’m more detectively than Hotarou, I can do it >:3

Btw what do u look like? Not IRL (bc that’s dangerous info to put online!!) just what image do u want me to have of u?? Short hair? Long hair? It helps me imagine our talks :3

Also sorry for my responses being short today!! Idkkkkkkkk 😭🙏🙏 forgive meeee

[ivomartins]

clock it bc omg im playing hs rn (to understand requiem better but im just diamond mining) (apologies to hs lovers) and the dialogue and the storyline has been making me laugh it's so childish and uninteresting like wheres the flavour?? these people are supposed to be divine beings alive for centuries and they speak like twilight characters? every characters personality is so one dimensional and i kind of can't stand mc i hope she gets better in hs2 (also heard we'll get sexy anemic looking men w long hair for lis can't wait)

as opposed to that, like you said, requiem is DELIVERING. every characters is unsettling and creepy in their own way, but nothing about cain makes sense. mc herself said she couldn't understand what's going on in his head despite being right next to him and it actually shows to the player too. it genuinely feels like we're dealing with beings beyond comprehension, understanding and that just ups the stakes for the mc and maintains this dread the player feels throughout the story.

idk if you've played that diamond scene yet but when he tells mc he can understand her and be on her side, it feels so Fake like he's pretending to be human for achieving his goal and im obsessed w it. the writer is operating on levels we can't even begin to understand.

ofc it's only going to be more delicious to figure him out and watch him fall for mc and grapple with his feelings 🤭🤭

(ps the last four requiem asks you've gotten are from me, can i be your 'vivi' anon 💌)

girl (gender neutral) 😭😭😭 tell me about it i deadass can't get over how cartoonish hs is like no hate at ALL towards the book or the people who love it but i think it's so overhyped and most definitely the book/series that i'd rate the lowest out of all of alice's projects

because of that it's a blessing in a way that requiem is written by a different author?? like it's been so interesting seeing the lore from a different lens and being portrayed with such a different "voice" to the writing. like i thought requiem was written by alice at first and i remember how i suspected otherwise purely by the otherwordly way that cain was described in his first diamond scene like ???? i got so hype cause i thought alice was more in her element with this story and just has her spark again GDKSHDJE no shade towards her at all but i definitely think requiem having a different writer is one of the main reasons why it stands out and exceeds hs in this way. i think it's safe to assume it would have had the same storytelling/writing style as hs if it was written by alice (unfortunately)

i loooooove your take about cain being disingenuous when he talked to mc about understanding her??? that would add so much dimension to him if it's true!! i took it at face value tbh because they both do share the similarity of being outcasts from the group + being selfish and invested in their own goals instead of the greater good or whatever the squad is seeking to achieve. BUT it would be absolutely amazing if your interpretation turned out to be true because i can definitely see it with cain's devious lil ass

also. can we PLEASE take a moment to discuss the fact that LANE AND CAIN MET BEFORE???? i mean i saw a screenshot recently from chapter 1 where he's like "do you remember me?" and i also vaguely remember lane dreaming about him in chapter 1 too??? when i tell you. i am chewing my fist just thinking about it... i LIVE for pre-established dynamics like this 😭