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fairysluna · 2 years ago

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NOT THE BEST IDEA — Modern!AU | Part 2

MASTERLIST | Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader x Aemond Targaryen.

Summary: The secret is out, and now you have to learn how to heal your broken heart and how to move on, and soon a cute new guy would help you realize how much you were missing in life.

Tags/TW: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, therapy sessions (bc she needs it so bad), helaena being the best friend we all deserve, brief smut(?, mentions of violence, murder and blood, aemond still is an ass but now he's also obsessed.

Author's Note: I got a little carried away with Cregan’s storyline at the beginning, but here it is!! Hopefully this will meet all of your expectations, your ideas were super helpful so thank you all of you, hope this is worthy of them!!

Word Count: 6.0k

Tag List: @immyowndefender @bellameshipper @mysticgothicgirl @aemondswifeisme @issshhh

Feedback, shares and comments are always welcome!!

You entered the room. You started to pace back and forth around it as the nerves were eating you alive. Your hands were shaky, and the tears soon came back to your eyes; the guilt, the rage and the pain in your chest was making this whole situation too overwhelming. You could feel the panic running through your veins as your beloved friend turned around to see you.

She looked serious, but not mad. Yet, the panic that you felt in the moment, along with the fear of losing her friendship over what had happened, had you seeing her serious semblance as something terrible.

"I'm so sorry, Helaena..." You cried, keeping the distance between you both, too scared of getting closer to her and being pushed away, "I ruined your cake, I ruined your birthday, I- I don't even know what to say, I'm a terrible friend, this is your special day and I ruined it..."

Your words were stumbling against each other, your mind going miles per hour as you could only sense the fear of losing Helaena forever.

“I’m sorry, I’m- I’m horrible, I’m sorry… I never meant to ruin everything.”

The girl walked towards you and hugged you tightly. This action had taken you aback and it took you a few seconds to react. You wrapped your arms around her waist and buried your face on the crock of her neck, leaving her skin soaking with your tears.

"Nonsense..." She spoke softly, as she held you close, "Y/n, you didn't ruin anything, we can get another cake, mum can go and pick one from the bakery, it’s okay…”

“I’m so sorry…” You repeated.

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay,” she reassured you, “But, y/n…” she pulled back, only to look at your face, “you need to tell me what is going on, this is so weird, I’ve never seen you like this before.”

Your eyes closed as you felt embarrassment. You looked like a psycho back there, and you cannot even think what Helaena was thinking about you right now.

“You promise you won’t be mad at me?” You asked, your voice shaky and unsteady. Helaena nodded and you took a deep breath.

You explained everything to her. How Aemond and you started to play around until eventually you were fool enough to fall in love with him, you told her how he gave you your first kiss and then offer you a relationship with the condition that should be secret, you told her that you were with him for almost a year before he decided to throw everything to the trash by a stupid letter.

And of course, you told her how he forbade you to speak about this with anyone.

“Oh, Gods…” Helaena said once you stopped explaining everything, “You had to go through all this by yourself? That’s why you were locked in your house most of the summer?”

“I couldn’t bear to see him,” you confessed, “I loved him so much… Perhaps I still do.”

“And he brought his girlfriend now… showing her around as if he is bragging about it. What an idiot!”

“I don’t want you to change the way you look at him, I know how close you both are.” you said softly, “my relationship with Aemond is now from the past.”

“How am I supposed to see him in the face now that I know how much he made you suffer? He’s the kind of guy we scream at while watching rom-coms, y/n. The type of guy we hate.”

“It’s okay, really.”

“No, it’s not,” she shook her head, grabbing your hands, “you said it yourself, you still love him, it’s not okay.”

“I must be okay, Helaena,” you quickly said, “he has a girlfriend, he moved on and I must do the same thing. I can’t keep crying for him when he doesn’t even care about me.”

Helaena pressed her lips and sighed, “if it makes you feel better, she is old and you're prettier. She is his Philosophy teacher.”

Your jaw almost fell to the floor, “Shut up, she’s not.”

“She is.” she nodded, “he was his assistant and then… they fucked.”

“Oh Gods…” you let out a breathy laugh and you covered your lips with your hand.

“I always thought Aegon would be the one doing this kind of stuff.” Helaena said between chuckles, “You should’ve seen mum’s reaction when she found out, it was hilarious.”

You laughed. The tears were already drying on your cheeks when Helaena pulled you in for another tight and comforting hug.

“You know I’m always going to be here for you, right?”

You nodded, “of course I do,” you said in a soft whisper. “I think it is best if I don’t come to your house while Aemond is here.”

“That’s fine…” she replied.

“I thought about killing him, actually,” you confessed.

Helaena pulled away from the hug and looked at you with a worried face, “Oh, babe…” she cleared her throat, “do you have plans this friday?”

“No, why?”

“You need a therapist.”

Two weeks later, you were seated in the waiting room of your therapist office, waiting for your second session. Helaena made you company the first time, but now she was out of the city with the rest of her family, so you were on your own now. You were sitting as you were looking at the Weather Report on the TV that was hanging on the wall. Your shoes were on top of the chair as you hugged your folded legs and placed your chin between your knees. You were completely bored without the company of your beloved friend.

That day, you arrived a little early. You had at least fifteen minutes to wait before it was your turn. You were trying to distract your mind, counting random things like the tiles on the floor, or the chairs in the room. You did not even notice the guy that walked towards you until he stood up in front of you.

"Is this seat taken?"

You looked up at this guy. Then you looked around the room. Literally every single chair was empty; it was seven o’ clock on a Friday, there was no one there but you, the guy in front of you and the old secretary behind the desk.

"Uhm... I think all the seats are empty actually.”

That made him chuckle, and he showed you his charming smile. He is cute, you thought.

“I saw you last week with a blonde girl, I thought she might have come with you today, too.” You frowned a little, has he seen you before? Was he watching you this whole time? Is he a creep? He soon widened his brown eyes, as if he had just realized how bad his words sounded, “Oh, Gods, don’t think I’m some kind of psychopath, I- I just saw you the other day and- I’ve never seen you before… I usually sit in that corner and the other day I saw you, and- Oh, fuck, did I just made a fool out of myself?”

You laughed. It was subtle but you did. He also chuckled, a bit nervous. You've seen him before, he would usually be with another brown haired boy that Helaena once thought was cute. Perhaps he wasn't a psycho, perhaps he just wanted to be your friend.

"It’s okay." You said, a breathy laugh left your lips, "you can sit." you tilted your head, and he soon sat on your side.

He cleared his throat and stayed silent for a couple minutes. You did not say anything either. You were both unsure of what to say or do now. You saw him from your peripheral view and realized he was glancing slightly at you, as if he was trying to say something but the words would not come out of his mouth. Something came over you and soon you were the one breaking the silence.

"I'm y/n." you stretched your hand for him to take.

He took it, slightly smiling and relieved, "I'm Cregan."

"Are you waiting for your session too?" You asked, trying to create a conversation.

"Umh, no,” he shook his head, “I've come to comfort my friend. He's going through some hard stuff.”

“How bad?”

He sighed, “he found out his father is not his actual father,” he explained, and your mouth opened with surprise.

“Oh, shit…” you muttered.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “what about you?”

You pressed your lips in a thin line as you really considered lying to him, creating a super dramatic story seemed tempting, but you could not bring yourself to lie to him. Not when he was looking down at you with those sweet, kind eyes.

“My ex ruined my psyche,” you simply said.

“Oh.”

“But I'm doing therapy now so I guess I'm healing my trauma, right?” You tried to joke, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.

“Right.” He chuckled, “How long have you been single?”

“Eight months,” you then smirked. “Why? Are you going to ask me on a date?”

Cregan grinned after hearing your teasing, “do you want me to ask you for a date?”

“Do you want me to say yes?”

“Perhaps…”

You chuckled, "well, I'm going to answer you once I come out of my session."

"Then I guess I'll wait."

"Oh, you would wait for me?” You spoke with a dramatic tone that made him smile widely, “that's so romantic…”

"I would wait for you forever,” he replied, matching your tone almost immediately.

You felt something in your gut that you instantly recognized. Your smile flickered as you realized what was happening, and you immediately regret it. You were not in conditions to jump into another relationship right now, not after everything you have been through and you knew that very well.

But Gods, he was so damn charming.

You were not able to exchange more words as one of the doors was opened and a thin brown haired guy walked out it. He looked at Cregan with a raised eyebrow before looking at you and smirked playfully to his friend. However, he just moved his head in order to tell Cregan it was time to go.

He stood up and turned to see you one last time.

"I guess I'll have my answer next week," he inferred, "same hour?"

You thought about it. You really did. Perhaps this was your chance to finally be happy with a nice and decent guy, and you were pushing back out of fear. Your heart spoke first, and then your mind wanted to slap you.

"Same hour." you nodded.

He gave you one of those bewitching smiles as he left and you stood there. Feeling so stupid for making this rush decision that would probably bring you big consequences in your future. But you could not help yourself, and at least now you have a week to think about your answer.

You were debating yourself during the whole session, and your therapists immediately noticed that something odd was going on in your messy head. You told her, of course, thinking that she might give you the green light that you were waiting for. You were expecting a positive reaction from her, saying that dating other guys might help you move on… but you knew that was far from reality once you saw her face turning serious and stern.

"Listen to me carefully, y/n,” she spoke demandingly, as if she was giving you a command rather than an advice. “No. dating. until. you. have. healed,” she said slowly, carefully pronouncing each word so there will be no space for misunderstandings, “you are in a delicate place emotionally right now, which leaves you vulnerable and weak towards new feelings and experiences. You might be right; this guy might be your knight in shiny armor, your savior, your future husband… but we cannot risk it.” She leaned over her chair, getting closer to you, “you have to be patient and wait until you have healed from what you went through, understood?”

You silently nodded, thinking about Cregan and his goddamn smile. Now you had no other choice but to reject him, and the mere thought almost made you shake out of nervousness and anxiety. Your overthinking mind did not help at all.

As soon as you walked out of the office, while you were waiting for the bus, you called Helaena and told her everything. And of course, she said she was going to be there for you when the time to reject him would arrive. Perhaps dating this new guy is not the best idea.

A week later, you entered the waiting room with Helaena hanging from your arm. You looked around trying to find Cregan, but he was nowhere to be seen. You felt some kind of relief after you thought he probably left and now you will not go through the anxiety that this situation would bring to you. But you were never that lucky.

The bathroom door opened and Cregan walked out of it, looking as enchanting as the last time you saw him. He had a growing beard now, which made him look even more handsome than he already was.

"That's him." you said to Helaena, she immediately looked at him in a discreet way and she gasped,

"Oh, he's cute..." she whispered before looking your way, "you can do this okay? just explain all the things your therapist said and you will be fine, he doesn't seem like the kind of man who would get angry if he's rejected."

"Your brother didn't seem like a douche bag and look where I am now."

Helaena pressed her lips, "just relax, it'll be fine, you'll see."

Cregan noticed your presence almost immediately –again no one was there besides you three–, and he walked your way with a gentle grin on his face. Helaena saw him coming and she went to sit, pulling out a book from her tote bag. You felt your hands shake.

"I was waiting for you,” he confessed once he was close enough for you to hear.

"You were?" You asked, your voice coming out a bit lower than you expected.

"I’m afraid you owe me an answer.”

You smiled kindly at him, but your eyes showed him the struggle inside your mind. He knew it almost instantly, and you could see the disappointment on his face. You sighed deeply before starting to speak,

“Look, this will sound as a pathetic excuse, but trust me; it is not.” You put a rebel hair strand behind your ear before you keep going. Your hands shook as you were slightly scared of what his reaction might be. “My therapist kinda forbade me from being in a relationship, or even going out on dates, she says I must heal before jumping into a serious relationship with someone new.”

Your voice turned progressively lower with each word you pronounced, and once you finished you stood there, looking at the tall and handsome man in front of you, expectantly. Cregan nodded, softly. Then he clicked his tongue and smiled once again. You frowned after seeing his reaction, and before you could say anything at all, he spoke first.

“What if it’s not a date?”

You froze. Your eyes narrowed with confusion as he chuckled.

“There’s no need to be something else, we can be friends, right?” he proposed, “unless you don’t want to.”

“Uhm… I- I do, yeah,” you nodded.

“Then we can hang out as friends. That’s not a date, is it?”

You couldn’t help but smile, “No, it isn’t.”

“Can I have your phone number, then?”

You nodded, “Sure.”

And that is when your life turned a little better, and you finally were able to heal.

Helaena scolded you, obviously. Saying that it is obvious that neither of you wanted just a friendship, but you immediately said that you would obey the words of your therapist and not get romantically involved with Cregan, no matter how badly you both want it… you were just friends.

Two months have passed since you last saw Aemond, and now you barely thought about him. Cregan kept your mind busy, inviting you to go out and have some fun. To live a little. You were now inseparable. With Cregan you could publicly do all the things that you were not able to do with Aemond. Now you were not afraid of coming across someone you know, and you were not checking your surroundings every minute afraid of someone seeing you together. There was nothing to hide anymore.

Soon you realized that Cregan was the whole opposite of Aemond. Not only physically, but also mentally. While Aemond was more serious, mature and stern, Cregan was unhinged, funny and easygoing. You found yourself thinking many times what you saw on Aemond in the first place, why did you even fall in love with him?

You never told your therapist about your friendship with Cregan… she did not have to know.

Two more months passed, and you and Helaena finally managed to get the apartment of your dreams, right in the middle of town, in a good and safe area. The apartment was a complete mess when they gave you both the keys, and there was a lot of work to do, especially with carrying the furniture, fixing and painting the walls. You and Helaena knew you were not going to be able to do this alone, so you called for help. The next day, Aegon arrived first with a denim overall without a shirt underneath. Soon Cregan arrived too.

Four people decorating made it faster and easier. It only took a week and a half to have everything ready. That same day at night, Aegon had invited his friends, for he said you needed to inaugurate your new home with a big party.

You did not know when, or how, but soon you were drunk.

Cregan was visibly drunk too, Aegon was already dancing on top of the center table while Helaena was taking polaroid pictures of everything, the music was loud and the amount of people was growing each time. You were actually surprised that the police had not arrived yet.

An Abba song was playing in the background when everything happened. When Cregan was dancing with you as your smile was brighter than ever, as your entire body felt like floating whenever he would hold you by grabbing your waist every time your drunk state would make you trip on your own feet. You were singing loud, while Cregan would only look back at you with a tender smile.

Little did you know that his eyes were filled with devotion for you. He really tried to be just your friend. He really did. But you made it so hard, your mere existence was tempting him. Cregan only held back because he cared too much about you, and because he really wanted to do things right with you.

But while you were dancing, that smile on your face and the way your body moved; it just felt right. Cregan made you stop, holding you still in front of him as his hands cupped your face. Your eyes stared at him, and your smile flickered as you realized what was about to happen. The voice of your therapist appeared in the back of your mind, you felt your ears buzzing as you saw him sighing before he started to lean slowly towards you.

You panicked, but you did not dare to move away because you knew you wanted this too. You wanted it so, so bad.

He brushed his lips against yours, tempting you as you felt his heavy breathing against your lips. You softly whimpered, feeling desperate to kiss him, but he seemed to be taking his time to enjoy the moment. Your hands were holding his shirt, as if you did not want him to let go.

But he did.

Cregan felt guilty about his doings, knowing what you were going through, and knowing what your conditions were. He clenched his eyes pulling back, his hands covering his face as a grunt left his lips and then, he left. You felt the room spinning as you saw him leaving the apartment.

You spend the rest of the night drinking, trying not to think about it.

The next day, you woke up at noon. Helaena went to drop Aegon back to his house, and you were pacing around the apartment trying to clean some part of the mess everyone left behind. You just had a shower, which helped you remember what had happened between you and Cregan, and you wanted to punch yourself in the face.

You felt the urge to call your therapist and call in for an emergency session because you were feeling as if you were about to lose your mind once again. You were about to dial her until someone knocked on the door. You left your phone on the center table and you quickly went to attend the door thinking it was Helaena.

But you found Cregan on the other side.

“Cregan…” you said softly, “I-”

“I forgot my keys last night,” he said, shyly.

“Oh,” you said, a bit disappointed, but you let him in either way.

He walked past you, and you closed your eyes once you smelled his sweet cologne. You followed him towards the living room where he found his keys under the cushions of the sofa. You could only stare at him, the tension between you both was too obvious and you hated it. It felt so odd and uncomfortable, you felt guilty for it.

“Cregan, about last night-”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupted you, “I know I shouldn’t have done, but-” he stopped himself before looking at you with pledging eyes, “fuck, y/n, I couldn’t help it… you looked so beautiful and I just let myself go, I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking clearly-”

“You did it just because you were drunk?” you asked. Cregan tilted his head, his keys dangling between his fingers was a sign of his nervousness.

“I did it because… because I crave for you, y/n,” Cregan said, signs of despair tainting his low voice, “I can’t- I can’t help it, I can’t keep denying this. I fucking need you.”

Your breath hitched as you looked at him. His eyes were begging, and you were certain yours were too. Then you could not help it anymore, it was as if he was a big magnet that pulled you in. You quickly grabbed his cheeks, pulling him close to you as you stood on your tiptoes to finally reach his soft lips.

“W-wait,” he said between the kiss, “wait, no. Your therapist-”

“Fuck my therapist,” you interrupted him without thinking.

He pulled away, looked you in the eye as if he was trying to make sure he heard you clearly. He took a deep breath, still holding you close to his body, and he let out a breathy smile before saying,

“Fuck it.”

His lips soon reached for yours again, this time more hungry than before. It was passionate and deep, you both had been waiting too long for this moment to not seize it. His hands roaming up and down your body, desperate to touch you, to feel your soft skin under his big hands. You felt blissful, completely drunk by the taste of his lips.

Minutes later you were in your room, Cregan kissing your neck as he was now claiming you as his. Small moans left your lips while he was whispering nothing but sweet words and praises against your ear that had you drooling under his broad body. He managed to touch every inch of you, to kiss every part of your body, and you could feel your heart bursting with joy and excitement. Your mind would only focus on the man that was now yours, in how good he was making you feel… in how loved you felt between his arms.

Aemond did not even cross your mind, he had been out of it for a while now.

Few minutes later, after you both finished, Cregan looked at you with glossy eyes and a small, tender smile. He started giving you soft kisses around your flustered face while you were trying to control your breathing. This felt even better than sex, it felt more intimate and loving.

Cregan caressed your cheek, and you smiled.

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” He asked with a smirk.

You only chuckled and laughed, “I guess we are…”

He kissed you once again, and cuddled you between his arms. You wished this could last forever.

Once Helaena found out about your relationship with Cregan, she looked at you with a stern look, and, taking over her role as the mum friend between you both, she scolded you. Of course she was not mad, she was just worried about you and what might happen with your mental health if things do not go as well as you were expecting. You reassure her that you would be fine, and that Cregan was not like Aemond in any way.

The next months were blissful. Your little mental breakdown at Helaena’s birthday was now long forgotten. You were doing fine, you have moved on from Aemond completely. However, it would be unrealistic to say you don’t think about him sometimes, mostly because you're curious to know how he is doing. Sometimes you would eavesdrop when Helaena talks with him on the phone, but you would never dare to ask for him… that felt wrong.

Soon a year passed, and Helaena was organizing her birthday again. She wanted to do something small, not being such a fan of big parties. She asked you a thousand times if it would be okay to invite Aemond to the party, and you repeatedly said yes, Aemond was her brother and they have always been so close. It was her birthday, and you wanted to see her happy.

With Cregan practically living in the apartment now, the decoration took little time. He helped you both to hang stuff in the ceiling and reorganize the furniture so there will be more space.

Soon the guests, which consisted of four more friends and Helaena’s family, started to arrive. And you would not lie to yourself and say that you were not deadly nervous of seeing him again. You were scared that you might react the same way as last year. You knew you loved Cregan, but what if Aemond appears and makes you doubt everything? What if it makes you realize that you never moved on in the first place? What if you have a new mental breakdown in front of him and Cregan?

There were so many doubts in your mind that you had to sit for a while, drinking mint lemonade to remain calm. Luckily for you, Cregan did not seem to notice your nervousness, he was busy talking with some of the guests.

And when you were lost in your thoughts, Aemond walked in, but this time he was alone. He stepped into the apartment looking for his sister. You stared at him, expecting some reaction from you, but there was nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a slight tingle in your gut. You let out a heavy breath, relief and more calm.

You laughed at yourself for a moment, thinking how ridiculous you were for being so nervous about it.

“Hi, y/n.”

You froze, your body tensed as you looked up at Aemond. Your jaw clenched so hard your teeth hurt, and your smile faded slowly. You swallowed hard, and the anxiety in your body came back.

“Hi, Aemond.” you said, quickly. “Umh… Helaena might be in the kitchen.”

“I know, I saw her,” he softly nodded, curling his lips into a shy smile, “I came here because I wanted to know how you are? Helaena doesn’t give me many details.”

“You asked for me?” you spoke shocked.

“Helaena hasn’t given you my greetings?”

You shook your head, “no. She hasn’t.”

“Well, I’ve been asking for you a lot, lately… I’ve- I’ve missed you.” He says in a whisper, as if he was embarrassed to admit it. “I have also thought about you a lot.”

“Have you?” you questioned him, raising your eyebrow.

“Yes,” he nodded, “I realized how stupid I was with you and-”

“Aemond fucking Targaryen! What the hell are you doing here?”

You saw him tense as his relaxed face shifted into a rageful one. You frowned as you saw Cregan palming Aemond’s back so hard it made him tremble on his feet. You were about to open your mouth to ask what was going on, but Cregan spoke first.

“I haven’t seen you in years! Are you still jerking off with Ms. Harroway pictures?” Cregan teased him, and you widened your eyes.

“Stark.” Aemond said bitterly, his one eye looking at Cregan with an expression you have never seen before.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Cregan asked again.

“It’s my sister’s birthday.” He grunted, visibly pissed.

Cregan frowned, and you closed your eyes. You told him about Heleana’s brother in the first weeks of meeting him, but you never said his name. Perhaps you would realize that they met each other before. Now Cregan looked at you with concern, as if he was asking whether this is the brother who broke your heart.

“Wait, you’re Helaena’s brother?” He spoke in a growl.

“I am.” He nodded, unbothered, “I think the question here is why are you here?”

“It’s my girlfriend’s apartment.” Cregan said.

Aemond frowned, angry, “you’re dating Helaena?”

“No, I’m dating y/n.”

Aemond’s face fell with an indescribable rage. You didn’t notice it, for you were too busy trying to have an answer from Cregan about how they both met. Aemond was burning, his blood boiling as he heard you excusing yourself and saw you walking away with your new boyfriend.

He hated it. He hated seeing you with someone else being so happy and blissful. A year ago you were still waiting for him, you were still dreaming about getting back with him, but now you had moved one and fucked another man… and the fact that it was Cregan Stark made it even worse.

The same Cregan Stark that made Aemond be the second best in everything at school. No matter how hard he tried, how many nights he would spend studying for a test or training for the school Tourneys, Cregan would always beat him. He was Aemond’s biggest nightmare, and now, somehow, he managed to have you. Once again, Aemond lost to Cregan.

Perhaps it was the fact that it was him the one that was kissing you right in front of him, perhaps it was the fact that his ex left him for another man two months ago, or perhaps it was the pettines inside of him, but he was drunk in madness now. He wanted to pull you away from him and break his face.

He saw how he grabbed your waist in the same way he did once, he saw you looking at him with devotion and love as you spoke, making him smile. You were clearly in love with one another, and Aemond could not handle it. He hated it. You should be begging him to get back together, to be with him again. You should be watching him the same way you were watching Cregan.

You should be with him. Not with Cregan.

As the evening went by, things were getting worse for the silver haired man. He had not stopped staring at you during the whole party; each movement, each word and each breath you took were under a stare filled with hate and anger, filled with spite. Aemond would be unable to take his eyes off of you, and with each minute passing by, he would get more and more mad.

He remembered how soft your skin was, how gently you would kiss him and touch him, how beautiful your laugh was. He remembered your scent, your delicacy and playful stares. He would also remember the way you felt against his skin, the way you would squirm under his touch and how your soft moans would be silenced by his kisses.

At that point in the night, he knew he had to have you back. You were his once, and will be his again, he would make sure of it. He wanted you to be desperate for his touch once more, he wanted all your attention and love for him. Only for him.

He was the only one worthy of your love. How did you even dare trying to find another man when he is all that you need?

A hand on his shoulder made him wake up from his trance. He soon recognized the voice of Cregan buzzing in his ears; “I’ve seen you staring at her the whole night,” Cregan grunted, trying to sound calm, “leave her alone, you’ve caused her enough misery already.”

Aemond scoffed, and his daring voice came out, “and who are you to tell me what I have to do?”

“Don’t be a fucking asshole, man. You didn’t appreciate her when you had her, now she is happy. She’s with me, leave her alone.”

He clicked his tongue as a smug grin started to appear on his face, “I made her fall in love with me once, I know that as soon as I speak to her she will be eating from the palm of my hand once again.”

Cregan clenched his jaw after hearing him speaking about you that way. He breathed deep a few times trying to maintain his composure, not wanting to start an unnecessary fight on Helaena’s birthday. Instead, he just let out a breathy laugh and say,

“Look, she moved on… perhaps you should move on too and stop being so obsessed with her.”

Aemond tensed hearing those words. He remembered them too well. The fact that Cregan knew them too was proof enough to know that you had told him all of it, and that was the last straw; what he needed to explode.

In a blink Aemond punched Cregan and cut his cheekbone with his rings. You were coming out of the kitchen with a platter of cookies when you saw them pushing each other. Aemond was beating Cregan while the last one was trying to defend himself instead of punching back. Your heart sank as you heard the guests’ gasp. Alicent was the first one to react, trying to make the both men stop.

Aemond did not hear his mother screaming, he did not hear your pleas. He certainly did not feel Aegon pulling his shirt. His eyes were only seeing red as his hand was still beating Cregan. He thought about not stopping until killing him, to get him out of the way so he would get back to you. Cregan was an obstacle on his path back to you, and he wanted to get rid of it.

His mind was blind with the adrenaline of the moment, too filled with rage to even realize what was happening, and all his negative emotions became even worse when Cregan gave him a punch back. It was not until a group of three men pulled him back that he finally stopped.

He was breathing fast, looking bewildered by his own actions. He looked around, he saw you running towards Cregan as you worryingly held his bloody face. He frowned; you should be comforting him, not Cregan.

Soon Alicent stepped in, grasping Aemond’s arm strong enough to force him to look at her, “What the hell were you thinking?!” She scolded him.

He did not answer to his mother, instead, he looked at you. You were already staring at him with disbelief, and a bit of anger. You shook your head slightly as you were helping Cregan to go to your room in order to heal his wounds.

Aemond clenched his hands, and he breathed heavily. He will have to find another way to make you his again, because killing your new boyfriend was not the best idea.

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islandofsages · 11 months ago

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darling heart.

summary: in which you are someone who participates in/identifies with jirai kei culture.

characters: heartslabyul boys x gn reader

tags: relationship not specified, fluff, imagines format

warnings: mentions of mental health, mentions of self-destructive tendencies

author's notes: hiiii this is very self-indulgent bc i am a jirai kei babe,, im specifically a jirai danshi <3 i might do for other dorms too, depending on my motivation lol you can find out more by searching up jirai kei tho dont just read the jfashion wiki for it, it's more than just a fashion style. also beware of potentially triggering stuff since it deals with mental health and all

Riddle Rosehearts

He’s intrigued by this subculture that you participate in and he’d ask you more about it, if you don't mind telling him - he’ll do his own research too anyway

When he finds out it's basically a subculture consisting of people with emotion dysregulation issues and is generally controversial, he checks up on you and asks you if you're okay or not

You laugh then – you’ve had your ups and downs but really, so has everyone. You hope reading about it hasn't scared him off

He’d feel like calling you a “landmine type” is too insensitive but you assure him that there's nothing to worry about and that people who participate in the subculture has reclaimed such stereotypes and fully embrace it

He’d really enjoy seeing you decked out in jirai kei fashion; he may want to try it himself but he’d insist that it's not in his place to participate, only support from the sidelines

You do get him to try out clothes that are similar to or inspired by the culture though – he seems to be comfortable in the style and you're happy that something that you enjoy can also bring the same joy to him

You’ll also recommend some songs to him, especially ones that you think would help him in studying despite the sometimes concerning lyrical content

If someone tries to bully you for identifying with the subculture, he’d step in immediately and defend your honor

“What right do you have in deciding what (Y/N) identifies with? That's what I thought. I’m always in the right.”

Through your downs and ups, Riddle will always be there for you.

Ace Trappola

He has heard of it before but he thought it was only a type of fashion, not a whole subculture with more substance to it than clothes

You’d infodump to him all about it and your journey with it, whether you just discovered it or have been identifying with it for a long time – he listens to you curiously all the while

He’s caught off guard for a moment by the more controversial and depressing part of it but he quickly recovers

He’s happy for you and glad that you’re comfortable having such a culture define a part of you

Though he implores not to do all the self-destructive stuff if you could and he’ll look out for you more just in case

He definitely thinks you rock while wearing your jirai kei outfits; it’s not his style but he wouldn’t mind trying it once, just to get a feel for the style

“Yeah, this is definitely not my thing… you, on the other hand, look pretty awesome.”

You’d give him a link for your playlist (or a playlist you’ve saved) and he’d listen to it when he’s bored – ends up adding a few songs to his personal playlist

If he finds anyone stereotyping you unnecessarily, he’ll call them out, saying as if they’re any better

Despite everything, you are still uniquely you in his eyes.

Deuce Spade

He apologizes for not knowing too much about it when you bring it up and you tell him it’s okay because it gives you an excuse to ramble about it

You tell him what it entails and how you’ve come to find out about it, sifting through your past experiences both good and bad

He tries very hard to be understanding, even if he doesn’t really get it. You’re just grateful to have his support

“I don’t really get it but it gives you a sense of community, right? I think that’s pretty cool!”

He’s also a little concerned about the mental illness part so he’d regularly check up on you to make sure you’re doing okay

He’d ask you to tell him more about your experiences with the subculture if you have any more and if anything exciting happens, you go to him first

Such as acquiring a brand new article of jirai kei clothing for example! He thinks the style is super pretty and fits you really, really well

He’d listen to the music together with you, sharing earphones and all – maybe he would even listen to them while he tries to do anything

He’ll be your guard dog and bite back whoever dares to make fun of you for being part of the subculture’s community you’ll have to calm him down sometimes

You couldn’t ask for a better cheerleader than him.

Cater Diamond

He’s always known about the subculture and although he doesn't participate in it, he thinks it's really neat

You tell him more about it and about the misconceptions people have about it so that he doesn't misunderstand

He’s super stoked that he knows someone in real life who actually participates in the subculture since he gets to see how it actually is in reality

He mostly knows about the fashion and when you come rocking up to him wearing the classic jirai kei look, he tries his best not to fanboy

He compliments you then proceeds to ask you where you got it – though cute styles like it aren’t his thing, he feels like he can give this style a try

He’d match with you on days he doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with more cutesy styles and snap pictures of you two to post on Magicam

He’d also go scouring for the music online to add more songs to his already rapidly growing playlist. He’d share some recommendations with you too!

Unintentionally got you more jirai kei friends since some people saw his posts about matching with you on Magicam; even people you already know commented on his post

“Look at us, (Y/N)! We’re totally Magicam-famous now~”

You laugh with him, head thrown back while the seeds of your relationship bloom behind where the two of you sit.

Trey Clover

He doesn’t know too much about it so he’ll ask you to explain to him what it is – to which you excitedly agree to

You tell him everything from the origins to how you’ve come to participate in the subculture – he nods patiently all the while

The mental health part of it has him questioning you a bit but he has no ill intention, he’s simply looking out for you and is worried about you

He’s supportive all the way and thinks it’s nice that you have something you’re passionate about. He’d even do his own research when he has the time

He’s pleasantly surprised when you show up wearing jirai kei fashion one day; he definitely thinks you look striking in the get-up

He wouldn’t mind going with you if you were to shop for more jirai kei-related things – he would joke you’ll have to repay by helping him out another time though

He’ll listen to your song recommendations and if he likes them enough, he’d listen to them while he’s in the kitchen. He likes that they remind him of you

“Oh, this one’s pretty catchy. …These lyrics though…”

Going places with you certainly catches attention sometimes but he doesn’t mind, as long as you’re happy and comfortable in your own skin

His name truly defines him – you sure feel lucky to have him in your life.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #platonic twst x reader #platonic twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade #deuce spade x reader #cater diamond #cater diamond x reader #trey clover #trey clover x reader

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lynxfrost13 · 3 months ago

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Tagged by @beanthazar for this :]

5 comfort characters

1. Tyrande Whisperwind (World of Warcraft)

I’ve loved Tyrande basically since I’ve loved Warcraft, she’s such a badass character in so many ways, she’s thousands of years old and has been through so much. She’s the leader of her people and the high priestess of her goddess, she’s married and has an adopted kid and they’re the world to her (and in the Stormrage novel she literally goes the the nightmare realm to get her man back, that’s love). I’m forever going to be a little bit salty about how her anger over the massacre of her people was handled during shadowlands but getting to see her help bring a new world tree into existence and then being able to pass the mantle of leadership onto her daughter so she can finally rest is so good to see. I love her she’s great <3

2. James Kirk (Star Trek TOS)

He is such a little shit SPECIFICALLY TOS Kirk. This man gets into shenanigans and meets alien love interests like no one else, he’s just a funny lil guye to me in the best way (and I have a fondness for TOS anyway bc it’s so damn dramatic and over the top)

3. Ariane Yeong (Signalis)

OFFICER YEONG MY FUCKING BELOVED I think about her every day… when you grow up trapped and choose another trap that dooms you because it’s the choice that’ll give you at least a few years of happiness… and you fall in love and finally thrive… only to then suffer horrifically and through forces beyond your comprehension essentially become a god who only wants release from her pain…

4. Chrisjen Avasarala (The Expanse)

This woman is so awfully delightful she’s such a ruthless person with her “earth must come first” mentality and then seeing her soften a bit and being more willing to work with Mars and the Belt was so cool!!! I also just love her excessive swearing and bratty/demanding attitude bc she really does whatever the hell she wants, mean ass grandma who I’m scared of <3

5. Beckett Mariner (Lower Decks)

MARINERRRR she’s such good fun, I love her loud and obnoxious personality but also getting to see her more vulnerable side as the show progressed. She’s just some guy who’s very content with her place in life so long as she’s got her people!!

Taggin but no pressure @star-ar512 @zazanyanya @kestrel-wylde @bi-pan-whiteout @yaoi-goth @uneclipsing @creativebrainrot @foxholemonster @thewrldlooksred @edmunderson and anyone else who wants to ^^

#lynx talks #tag game #yes I have two Star Trek characters here but shhhh it’s okay

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jessiemeows · 1 month ago

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Kinky NSFW Alphabet:

Thank you for the tag @bananasfosterparent!!!!!

No pressure tag: @queerdrow, @preciouslittle-bhaalbabe, @ anyone who wants to do it lolol sorry if i tagged you & you already did it ://

This took me longer to do than I thought lol

Amaya & Astarion

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Amaya is a huge cuddler after sex and likes to play with Astarion’s curls giving his soft little kisses on his forehead. Before the tadpole she was basically a siren and would use sex to then sacrifice her partners for Bhaal but because of this it doesn't mean she never had a partner before! She had one partner who tried to help her escape Bhaal and then of course there was Gortash lol. Astarion on the other hand I believe was shocked when she first began to cuddle with him on the first night they slept together but eventually, he ended up loving it and now demands for cuddles afterwards lol.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hmmmmmmmmmm, Amaya loves every bit of Astarion but if she had to pick one specific part it would either be his ears or his hands. Sometimes she gets cute aggression and just wants to chomp on his pointy little ears. She loves his hands because of how strong they are and also what he can do with them.

I believe Astarion is probably the same way loves every bit of her but if he had to pick he’s torn between her freckles, her ass or her tail. He thinks she's SOOO cute with the amount of freckles she has and loves how from the time off the nautiloid to post game they have darkened so much. Her tail because he can see how she really feels throughout her tail, when she's angry it starts to whip around a little bit or when shes scared her tail wraps around her legs. And her ass bc well he is an ass man lol.

C = Cum (Where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum?)

They both prefer when Astarion cums inside Amaya. Those two end up having 5 kids after game events lmao so my guy doesn't have good pull out game.

D = Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory: a dirty secret of theirs)

I actually don’t think they have any :3 Maybe that they kept their relationship a secret for a while mainly because Amaya knew Gale was into her but didn’t want to hurt his feelings (didn't want him to blow up lol). When he found out about the relationship a lot of shit happened where Astarion and Gale did not like each other for a bit :/ They do end up being very good friends though after the rough patch.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I think they have similar backgrounds, they both brought victims to Bhaal or Cazador. In Amaya’s case she's a little different than Astarion, she barely remembers what happened but still experiences dissociation when something happens like if someone starts to hit on her or tries something then her brain just stops working.

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)

Missionary or cowgirl style. Astarion prefers missionary with his head buried into her neck or even reverse cowgirl the first few times so he could avoid having her see him not fully be there but after the first 2 times he realizes he enjoys it thoroughly with only her and that's when he LOOOOOVES staring into her eyes as they both fall apart within one another.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Depends on the day lol they have very serious “I’m so in love with you, no one else is for me but you” like after the battle with Orin and Amaya died kind of day, or having makeup sex after Astarion and Amaya had an argument (they love each other deeply but those two butt heads a lot especially how Amaya puts everyone but herself first lol) orrrrrr they are just being big goobers and one makes a joke during it and they both end up laughing hard.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

They are both groomed well.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Most of the time it's giggly and fun, like I said previously it really depends on the day but I like to think it's mainly laughs but pure sweetness and lovey-dovey.

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

They deffffff touched themselves whenever they thought about one another in early game. They had a slow start to their relationship and would kiss a lot before the tiefling party. I think after a steamy makeout sesh they would go their own tents and masturbate on their own.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

dom/sub kink, Amaya loves being submissive to Astarion and will obey every command he gives her in bed and Astarion loves having the power to do so.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

In game they prefer to do it in their shared tent (Amaya’s tent basically becomes his tent after the tiefling party). I don’t think either of them is keen on doing it again on the forest ground LMAO. It certainly wouldn't stop them though, they had quickies in the Underdark, and mountain pass. After game, it would probably be their shared bed or any room in their mansion. (Astarion used his magistrate degree to get a good deal on a mansion just outside the upper city :3)

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going?)

Hmmm, for Astarion probably anything Amaya does he thinks is attractive. When she gives into her little bhaalspawn self is probably when he gets the most motivated. That's when she intimidates people lol, shes very funny when she intimidates people too. When she told a dwarf that they were going to fly out of the tower if they said another word to her when they were going to fight Cazador was probably when he realized how turned on he gets when she's finally being mean to others LOL.

Amaya gets motivated when Astarion is being genuine with her. Soft little moments when they are spending time with one another like if he’s reading to her in their shared tent and is making silly voices to go along with the story is when she gets the most turned on by him. It's because he can be himself around her without putting on a show.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

They are monogamous so they would never ever share with someone else. I headcannon Astarion being very jealous so if they were to share then that would send Astarion into a frenzy. Amaya of course is also jealous whenever someone tries to hit on Astarion but it's not like when Astarion gets jealous. There had been quite a few fights between the two regarding this but it was mainly because Astarion didn’t know how to process jealousy because well he never experienced it until he met Amaya. He HATED when every party member tried to hit on Amaya, the man was literally seething lol. It's why he does not get along with Halsin at all because everyone else backed off when they made their relationship somewhat official in Act 2 and the man still tried it with Amaya.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both love receiving and giving, Astarion prefers to give more and tease Amaya a lot.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again, it depends on the day. Its usually slow and sensual in the beginning but then becomes fast and rough towards the end.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They enjoy them! They had a lot of quickies early game and resumed the quickies after Cazador died. Like Lae’zel said the two can’t keep their hands off one another.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Hmmmmmm, I don’t think so. They like to keep it simple and to be sure neither one of them gets overwhelmed if they were to take risks.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Astarion can go for a long time, Amaya can too but probably after the 3 round is when they call quits. Mainly to be sure neither one of their heads go to a bad place. The two beans have a lot of trauma :(

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

In the game no they do not, but doesn’t mean they aren’t open to getting any after game!

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Astarion is the king of teasing Amaya, but thats fine becauase Amaya gets back at him most of the time hehe.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Astarion knows how to make Amaya scream his name. Astarion on the other hand I think is fairly quiet, but will moan and groan when he can no longer hold it in.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Ahhhh my fave headcanon is they both gain a little weight throughout the game and also post-game :)))))

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Amaya, despite being very thin in act 1 and 2 is still very curvy and when she gains weight it really accentuates her curves. Astarion, we know what he looks like lol but by act 3 and post game he has gained some weight and you could probably tell. His figure is fuller and his cheeks are a little chubby lol. I always headcanon that Cazador gets very mad when he realizes that Astarion had been finally feeding.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high but also not?? Idk if that makes sense like they both crave one another all the time but they could probably go months without having sex especially if either one of them needs time to heal.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Amaya falls asleep cuddling him usually. Astarion usually trances for a bit but mainly he is holding her and probably watching her snooze away. Amaya before durge events in act 3 had really bad nightmares and would sometimes try to kill in her sleep. Astarion likes to keep watch over her so she doesn't 1 try to kill him lol and 2 make sure she doesn't hurt herself. Unfortunately, this has caused her to accidentally stab him in the arm a few times or he had to manhandle her to stop sleepwalking or shake her awake if he can tell she's having a really bad dream which happened more often than it should.

After game events of course she still gets night terrors but she no longer sleep kills but I think out of habit Astarion will always watch over her. He was always protective of the little murder baby.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 durge #astarion ancunin #astarion x durge #astarion x female dark urge #astarion x oc #bg3 companions #my oc #amaya x astarion

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justyourtypicalwriter · 5 months ago

Note

ask game ✨ for uhh everyone you wanna answer these for: 👿🧸🏳️‍🌈 :3

Omg this didn’t save before

👿-How do they cope with ableism?

Wendy:

“You don’t look like you’re disabled.”

“Mmmm well by saying that *proceeds to go on a thirty minute rant about how that harms the community by making more people believe stereotypes*”

Stan:

I feel on a good day he’d just ignore, ignore, ignore until the problem goes away. On a bad day he might have a bit of a panic attack but it is what it is

Kenny:

He’d laugh, maybe make some semi inappropriate jokes about it for the most part. That is until someone tries to grab at his dog, I feel like he’d have a complete mood switch and start spewing out their full name and address and doxx them or something😭

Kyle:

“You don’t look like you’re disabled.”

“You’re nose doesn’t look broken-“

He then proceeds to get them both kicked out of the store

Bebe:

Would call the ableist person every slur under the sun and record herself doing so to post on TikTok…or stomp on their foot if she’s in heels

Cartman:

Doxx them but also make death threats against their families. Where do you think the doxx list came from?

Clyde:

Probably show off some kinda goofy ass thing he can do because of his hyper flexibility like the hEDS king he is to scare them off…then whine about it later-

🧸-Do they have a comfort item?

(THIS IS CREEPY BC I WAS JUST WRITING ASSIGNING THE KIDS COMFORT ITEMS😭)

Wendy:

This big ass fluffy hoodie that’s honestly big enough to cover her like a blanket. It’s one of those fleece lined ones with a hood too

Stan:

Oof uhm I was gonna say Sparkys dog tags because he wears them a lot after he dies but I have a feeling he should have something else too…

Kenny:

I’m surprised I haven’t mentioned this one before but it’s a little odd. It’s a hand sewn stuffed possum made from scraps from his friends old clothes. Kenny got hand-me-downs from them on occasion and knew that they weren’t exactly Karens style, so he repurposed them

Kyle:

Soft things. Preferably stuffed animals (in specific this stuffed fox he has). He seems like someone who’d appreciate soft things like that

Bebe:

A plush deer she was gifted from Wendy! It’s cute and has a pink bow!

Cartman:

His goofy ass dolls and stuffed animals. Live laugh love Clyde Frog

Clyde:

Idk he seems like a weighted blanked type guy. When he was little he probably tried to used one to build a blanket fort or something. But it didn’t fucking work because they’re WEIGHTED and Clyde’s a dumbass, instead it collapsed the whole fort and probably knocked a chair ontop of him

🏳️‍🌈-A random headcanon about them and their disability

(I’m just gonna answer more from the list lmao😭)

Wendy:

😺 - Is there anything they enjoy about being disabled?

Designing gear designs for Nike! Especially if it’s a bad day and she can’t really do anything

Stan:

❤️ - Would they have any advice for someone else struggling with their disability?

‘Someday you’ll find someone who wholeheartedly believes that you matter’

Kenny:

🌞 - What does a 'good day' look like for them? Is there anything they like to do on their good days?

Picnics with the rest of the m5 at Starks Pond! Just being able to look at the animals with Butters, or swim in the pond with Stan, or listen to Kyle point out all the different types of plants or roughhouse with Cartman is what he cherishes the most!

Kyle:

📋 - Are they diagnosed? Do they want a diagnosis?

Kyle is diagnosed! Not like he wanted it, the motherfucker just wanted to be treated normally

Diabetes at 4, PTSD & ARFID at 11, and POTS at 13

Bebe:

🌻 - Do they do anything that helps manage their disability? (Ie medication, hot and/or cold patches, set sleeping times, ect)

Salty snacks EVERYWHERE. I kid you not there’s some kind of salty food stashed in almost every room of her fucking house

Cartman:

🧑‍⚕️ - Do they have a carer or anyone who helps with their disability? What are they like?

I guess I’d have to say Dolly. She’s a little rat shit but she adores him and he adores her

Clyde:

🦾- How does their disability effect their daily life? How do they overcome some of the struggles thrown at them?

I’d have to say random dislocations although there’s plenty of shit his ass has to deal with every day

#south park #service dog au #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #wendy testaburger #bebe stevens #clyde donovan #hiiiii :3 #thanks for the ask!#I couldn’t figure out who to do so I did many #wip: butterfly verse

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webism · 16 days ago

Note

I’ve been wanting to start posting on my own blog for a while now but I don’t know where to start 🥲 I have so many little fluff drabble ideas (don’t get me wrong I’m just as horny as the next disco girl but I’m SHY. And idk how to write smut 😭) but I don’t know if anyone would want to hear my little stories??

Boyfriend Nanami who has to turn off your alarms in the morning and wake you himself because you sleep like a rock while every alarm you set the prior night wakes him in the morning????

Coworker Gojo who teases you at work???? (This one is based off my Coworker who I have an insane crush on 🥲🥲 it’s also funny bc I work at a grocery store so cashier Gojo 😭😭)

Brushing depressed Suguru’s hair while you both sit in comfortable silence????????

I DONT KNOW ANYMORE BUT IM ALSO SCARED TO POST BC WHAT IF PEOPLE I KNOW FIND ME 🥲🥲🥲 (my profile has nothing hinting to me irl but I am PARANOID)

-👾

BABY! trust me lover, just start writing. if you like what you write, post it and others will too. writing on tumblr is so much fun and youre more than welcome to tag me because id love to read it all <3

#inbox #👾 anon

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roonilwazlibimagines · 2 months ago

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If you want to hear the tragic love life of a random person on the internet or want to prevent a girl from giving a boy a second chance he does not deserve please read more :))

So a fun fact about me is that I’ve genuinely only liked 2 boys in my lifetime (as a 22 year old). And the first boy was a mess but earlier this year when I was reflecting about him (and trying to leave him 2023) I decided on two things. 1) I was going to de-centre boys from my life (which was going to be easy bc before him they were so far away from my centre and just meant I had to drop the three boys I was (barely) talking to) and 2) there were many reasons we didn’t work out but a big one was that I was scared to be vulnerable in front of him and so when a guy inevitably came into my life, I would try to be as vulnerable as appropriate with him because that’s the only way I’ll form a new connection!

Then came Josh (that’s not his name but we’re going to go with it) who was one of three of the boys I was talking to. And he refused to be dropped. ‘I’m not talking to anyone at the moment’ he had weirdly told me when I was walking on the treadmill and had politely asked him ‘what about you?’ when he had asked what was going on in my life.

At this stage we had only been talking for six months and I literally can only recall one conversation from those six months which highlights just how uneventful they were.

But now we were talking heaps! And I knew, the voice in the back of my head would not leave me alone, that he was a douchebag (spoiler alert, I was right) but I really liked taking to him, sue me. And, points for him, he was really good at talking and actually took some time to get to know me!

Flash forward about a month ish and he really badly hurts his back :( but we’re very much in the talking stage so whatever is actually going on in his personal life isn’t too big of a concern.

UNTIL!!! We had been talking for 3 months and NOTHING had happened! Besides a very small comment about how he was upset we lived so far away from each other (1hr in peak traffic) (but also let’s remember he was the one who started this, ALREADY knowing this). So I decided May 1st he was out of my life. Boys were not my focus this year and he was taking up space.

So May 1st comes and he’s telling me about his back and then very casually mentions ‘after I sort out my back I’ll date you’. I read it at work and immediately threw my phone in my bag. I was right. He is a douchebag.

But then somehow we began talking more so much that we became best friends on Snapchat (yes, I know it’s a red flag that the 25 year old boy I’m talking to uses Snapchat as his main platform, I already knew he was a red flag but I really liked taking to him okay? We genuinely have so much in common and maybe I started getting my hopes up, especially because if we’re best friends on Snapchat that means even if he is talking to other girls, he’s talking to me more, right?) Yes, I know maybe there’s another girl who he messages on text, or Instagram, or whatever the fuck it is, but our conversations were soooo flirty. Like talking about our first date, going to each others houses, etc etc.

But then it was like one day he woke up and decided he hated me :) he’d leave me on delivered for a full day and then be like ‘sorry what did I say?’ He made a weird comment about how he hoped he’d make me cry. I saw he tagged another girl on an instagram reel (yes, there’s many explanations for this but like that shots public?) and then he started telling me how pretty his physio was?

When I tell you I was HEARTBROKEN :((( I had literally JUST gotten my hopes up and he immediately crushed them. So I left lol. I stopped messaging him, I stopped saving his photos, I’d go a day without replying and then wait another 12 hours to reply again after he’d reply back in seconds.

Then I went to Europe and had a hot girl summer and I even started talking to another boy but then Josh came back and decided he wasn’t done ruining my life.

And then we started again, and he started messaging me heaps and we were sooooo flirty and I foolishly let myself fall for it again. (But we are being kind to me because I really wanted him and I feel like when you don’t fall for lots of guys often it’s hard to stop talking to a guy you genuinely enjoyed talking to you know).

And things were great! I give second chances, I’m not ashamed to admit it, I know life is complicated. But then he brought up his physio again and that was it for me. Why tell me?

And when I called him out on it he said it was because ‘that was all he had going on at the moment’ as if he didn’t message me every hour of every day.

So I stopped messaging him again and whenever he’d tried to initiate something flirty I’d turn it down and my responses were harsh and mean because I knew I didn’t have the strength to actually leave him but I needed him to know this wasn’t okay.

Then, everything blew up :) and he made a comment about how he respects women or something like that and I was like ‘lol okay give me an example’ and he was like ‘you’ll find out when you’re deserving of it’s and I was like ‘what does that even mean?’ And he was like ‘you’ve disappeared’ and I was like ‘and before that?’ And he was like ‘I was always thinking about you’ and I said ‘so was I’

And this was all in like seconds of each other but it was really late at night (yikes, I know) and he wasn’t responding and I was sick of feeling shit about myself so I sent another message and was like ‘I believe you were thinking about me but then you did all of those things I’ve mentioned in this and now I don’t believe you’

And then he responded and was basically like ‘I’m sorry you deserve better, I’m just not in the right headspace and a lot of people are mad at me at the moment, people actually close to me and I should have told you’

And I know he’s depressed because we spoke about it so I was like ‘I understand but I wish you would have told me and if you were thinking of my like that you wouldn’t bring up other girls’ and he was like ‘the worst part is I don’t even remember doing that and I’m sorry bc I know how that feels’ and I was like ‘I genuinely don’t know what to say, I don’t think you can even begin to imagine how I feel right now’

And he just kept apologising and he was like ‘I’m sorry I made you feel like this’ and i said I was going to try to go to sleep and he kept saying sorry so then in the morning I was like ‘why go through this all with me?’ And he was like ‘I was in the right headspace when we first started talking and I’d be dumb not to try with you but then I got injured and now I’m just not in the right space mentally or physically’ and I was like ‘so you wanted to try, but you don’t want to anymore?’

And he was like ‘I can’t, I need to focus on myself’ and I think I was lucky I was with my cousin when I was getting all of these messages otherwise I think I would’ve driven to his house and put him out of his misery myself

And I kept the conversation going on for a little bit bc I just didn’t have the courage to end it with him I was so hurt :((

And we left it at me asking him if he was in the right headspace would this conversation have gone differently? And he said ‘I think so’ so I said ‘okay. Thanks’ and he said and I quote ‘:(‘

And I have been crying non stop and I feel so dumb bc I knew this was going to happen and I let myself get excited when I knew I shouldn’t have and also, it’s so hard for me to like a boy and he’s the first boy I’ve ever found actually attractive but also liked his personality when he wasn’t mean to me

So it’s whatever, I was going to cry about it but I knew I’d get better and really, I know it’s for the better, he lacks direction, I don’t think the word ‘goal’ is in his vocabulary and just has no motivation (which is very much the opposite of me). But it just hurt because I really liked him and sometimes you don’t get to decide that :(

Anyway, but then HE JUST FUCKING MESSAGED ME ON SNAPCHAT???? AND ITS JUST A SELFIE OF HIM DOING A THUMBS UP IN BED????? (I did the thing where you open it in aeroplane mode so he doesn’t know I’ve seen it) and I want opinions on what I should do (in the end I’ll do what I want lol, but I really feel like I need an outsiders opinion)

SO, do I A) say, why did you send that to me? B) leave him on open or C) a secret third option I don’t know about

If you read this I genuinely hope you never feel sad ever again and I love you so much <333333

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fumifooms · 11 months ago

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oh, sorry for so many asks, i also wanted to say too though i really agree so much with your chilchuck thoughts so far, even down to your personal headcanons about how things might go post-series. and you're absolutely right, i'll defend that little guy any day myself. you understand him so well and it's kind of relaxing to have someone else dish out this kind of analysis and already agree with all of it cus it's just so real, so thank you again for the Meal <- perhaps the perfect thing to say about dungeon meshi analysis when i think about it

i know you have playlists and stuff so i wanted to share a song i've been listening to that that reminds me of him: divine loser by clem turner

No worries, they’ve been a lot of fun! I do plan on getting back to each one btw, just gotta get through some other things first hopefully. Aaaah that’s really nice to hear 🥺 I do know the feeling haha, it’s always fun to have posts that Get It that you just nod along with 🤝 I’ve thought sooo much about Chilchuck I rotate him in my brain like rotisserie chicken more often than not, glad it all ended up being productive haha. Y’know recently my friends have been calling me a Chilchuck superfan/scholar jokingly and it actually made me have a realization moment of…

Bc I’ve always said Laios was my fave and like, he does mean everything to me idk if I’ve ever felt so seen as with Laios, I relate to him sooo much, but then. Okay alright that can be a different thing than a character being your favorite fine FINE I admit it Chilchuck’s my top blorbo. He’s so.🧍‍♂️I can’t even describe. He’s so….. He’s a clown but he’s also perfection in its best imperfect form I will not be taking further questions today. My friend called him my silly rabbit like that one meme and it makes me laugh sm

Thank you for the music rec!! I listened to it and yes agreed, sent straight to my Chil playlist. Songs are my bread and butter when I have character brainrot bc like with web weavings I feel like there are so many emotions and thoughts you can communicate about something so simply through one… (Which for anyone interested here’s my web weaving tag, got 2 about Chil). Gonna link all my dunmeshi playlists while I’m here: Dungeon Meshi, Chilchuck & his wife, marchil, Mithrun.

Ok everyone saw this coming but this ask ran away from me and I ramble about some song lyrics I associate with Chil & different facets of his life below the cut. Some people find my, ehem, heated rambles about Chil entertaining, this is your cue to get out the popcorn.

When thinking about songs for Chil I have 3 angles I take: About Chilchuck, about him and his wife, or about him & Marcille. Marchil is so engraved into me with their arcs together, that they’re like the concept of closure and letting go and letting yourself live again to me, sorry for all the non-enjoyers… But his dynamic with Marcille is a large part of his character arc so still fits, rock on.

I think currently my top song for him is Jackrabbit by San Fermin, because it combines all three it makes me go wild. It’s about trepidation… Throwing yourself into it even despite the fear (working with traps, survival in poverty where you have to rush & hustle), or just staying there paralyzed(not reaching out to his wife). Flight or freeze!! Saying goodbyes and saying hellos!! Not dying alone!! The life cycle of a wild rabbit living and dying, the baton pass race of life from generation to generation!! Chil and his daughters even!!! Going through life at a frenzied pace!! It is so Chilchuck and so marchil, and the music does give that hurried and scared energy to me too, and sigh the Marcille side to it with fear of death too…

Extra fun context but the other day on the discord server we were talking about what animal each character’s fursona would be as we do and I thought of a rabbit for Chilchuck: Quick footed, ‘cowardly’, small and frail and seen as weak 🙃, athletic and slender, pulls stunts, stressed out, has very fine hearing and has good instincts, etc. And ofc that fits really well with Marcille since she’s kinda associated with dungeon rabbits hehe~ But I think while Marcille’s 100% the cute round rabbit Chil’s more like a brown hare, more wild and like, more like a jackalope if we’re still doing monsters... I do lowkey find it more fun than his associated monster being mimics because he’s crabby, because they’re clever (with where they place themselves) and because of how he has a soft shell but soft insides, lol.

OKAY so that’s my song pick with the main 3 facets sure, now I’ll share some lyrics for each 3 sides separatedly 😈 Kinda summarizing my web weavings for him thus far. If we start with Chilchuck by himself we have… Enter One by Shelby Merry and Drunk by The Living Tombstone

With his wife, we have the bad end, and the good end for if they get back together with Lost Kitten by Metric and North by Sleeping At Last… Okay okay plus Love Like Ghosts and My Heart is Buried in Venice… Little Soldier by The Crane Wives for them also RUIN me

And Marchil… Marchil oh my beloved. Another buddy also made a full analysis on discord about Soap by The Oh Hellos for them lol, but these are Not I by I Fight Dragons and My Heart is Buried in Venice again~

Okay okay two more. Boats & Birds by Gregory and The Hawk, and Tummy by Tamino.

Finishing it up with quotes from, in order, A Softer World by Joey Comeau, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Acknowledgements by Danez Smith, The Letter by Richard Paul Evans, and last but not least posts from dead tumblr account flintcoded. I keep looking around and finding MORE fitting quotes. Someone stop me- In loving me you hold a knife at my throat, in loving you I tell you exactly where to cut. Forgive me, memory is a rope around my neck. I need you to be happy, I need one of us to be happy.

Hand in unlovable hand…

In conclusion;

#Thinking Chilchuck (positive) thoughts today. Have Chilchuck (sweet) dreams. Have a very Chilchuck chewsday (Fumi it’s sunday- shhhhhh)#Ask #fumi updates #Dunmeshi memes #Marchil #Chilchuck tims #maybe i should make a masterpost about my dunmeshi posts and playlists and fics oughhhh noooo i don’t like organizing myself #character playlist #ship playlist #Marchil song lyrics #This is 100% my cue that it’s time for me to make a new Chil web weaving.#So much to do so much to say all the time…#Last time I had an hyperfixation that lasted this long it was Sonic the Hedgehog. YOU LAUGH BUT most my fanfics are for sth so!!#Gonna treat y’all to many more meals from my fancontent factory brain #rabbit marchil

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fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma · 1 year ago

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15 people, 15 questions

Thank you @transboyzuko and @kiki-strike for tagging me!!

1.) Are you named after anyone?

Nope. My parents nearly called me Isabella but they chose Sofia last minute (I’m glad they did bc it’s Portuguese and there’s also like a million Isabellas.)

2.) When was the last time you cried?

Thursday last week bc I watched a movie in class that I didn’t expect to be triggered by but Oh Well.

3.) Do you have kids?

I don’t even have a job 😭

4.) What sports do you play/have played?

I’m absolutely terrible at every conceivable sport and hate it with a passion but I did play netball for like, six years when I was really young. Still shit at it tho lol.

5.) Do you use sarcasm?

When I need to, yes. But not if I know it’s gonna upset someone.

6.) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes. I don’t know why it’s so random but I’m always drawn to eyes, maybe it’s because they’re the window to the soul or maybe it’s bc that’s the centre of the face and I’m scared shitless of first impressions and always think about Eye Contact.

7.) What’s your eye colour?

Green but it shifts from forest green when I wear dark green clothes to lighter green when I wear (shocker) lighter green clothes.

8.) Scary movies or happy endings?

I cannot be paid or coerced to watch anything vaguely scary so I’m strongly on the happy endings side. I just want my fictional characters to have good lives man 😭😭

9.) Any talents?

Well, I am a bit of an artist. That’s quite underground though, I’m not sure if people know? (I’m not funny) No but seriously I draw, sing, act, write, play3 instruments, I can do accents? If that counts lol. My friends say my ability to be nice to anyone is a talent, which is sweet so I’ll add it :)

10.) Where were you born?

Idk I just was

11.) What are your hobbies?

Drawing, singing, writing fanfic (guilty pleasure), reading fanfic, playing instruments, history facts (yes I’m a nerd shut up)

12.) Do you have any pets?

Never had one :’)

13.) How tall are you?

5’7 and still getting taller

14.) Favourite subject in school?

English english english I knoWW we all hate writing essays but uh. I don’t? It’s kinda fun actually 😭 and I like analysing poems? Uh. My English teacher is a gift to the earth so maybe that’s why

15.) Dream job?

Psychologist. I’ve always wanted to help people (especially teens) with whatever they’re going through, neurodivergent people, queer and trans people. Literally anyone who I can help. I know it’s a hard job, and it takes a lot of work, but honestly? Seeing people happier or if I can help at least one person would be worth it :)

Tagging people who might already have been tagged uhhhh but it’s fine probably

@adriancatrin @haroldtea @please-dont-burn-out @electro-strike-zukka-time @erisenyo @divorcedzukka @strrwbrrryjam @sukiluvvs @sukidude @bonksoundeffect @blu3berrydraws @mike-queerler @myguiltyartpleasure @moncuries @marriedzukka

#tag game #sofia speaks about herself #text post #this was so fun thank uuuuuuu for tagging me #it’s gonna sound self centred but… I love when people ask me abt myself #like silly lil questions #what’s your favourite colour #what colour is your toothbrush #literally anything #I love asking ppl those questions too #cuz they get so excited it’s adorable 😭🫶🏼#anyways thank u again for tagging me #and to the people I tagged: join if u want it’s a silly game

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lovely-vermin · 2 years ago

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Welcome home cast with a single parent reader

A/N:My mother was a single mother and so I wanted to do this in dedication to her! Also this can be seen as platonic or romantic! Reader is GN but their baby is a boy named Harvey whose 3 years old. Also if I forget any tags tell me so! Also my oc Matteo is in this! Maybe Out of character but also Teenage mutant ninja turtle is told.

A/N 2:It’s mostly with Harvey because Harvey is based off of me a bit and I was an adventurous and chaotic yet well behave kid so I’d make friends fast. Also VERY LONG and cussing but never from you,Harvey or the characters also I didn’t do Poppy as I just can’t really figure out how to write her

Wally darling

•Wally finds your son adorable! Harvey and Home are best friends who are best friends! (Other then he and Julie of course) Wally is willing to help around as he sees your the only parent

•Everyone who was raised here (I’m guessing Wally was as it’s not stated or if it was I haven’t read it) they all know the way around. Wally who was raised here gives you tips and tricks around this place and also areas where Harvey might get.

•If your busy then he’ll offer to watch over him. Harvey is a well behave kid but has ADHD so often he’ll start rambling with Wally. Wally just smiled and nods even if he doesn’t understand what Harvey says.

• “O-oh and Mikey is my favorite! He always says ‘CAWBONGA!’ Then attacks with his brothers” “oh wow! How about you tell me more?” He doesn’t know what the fuck Teenage mutan ninja turtles but loves to listen to it!

•Wally loves to draw with Harvey and you. Harvey draws eyes mostly but there never realistic as he kinda hates drawing them.

•In all Harvey loves your son and also is willing to baby sit!

Eddie Dear

•He finds Harvey very adorable. Also you get more mail then anyone as because your a single parent from people.

•Eddie makes Harvey the Honorary mailman. He probably tells you before hand so that you don’t get uncomfortable or worried. Harvey is very helpful and mimics a military walk to only tumble a bit the giggle

•He isn’t a babysitter as he only has the weekend off (then you take over bc you two have turns) and he uses that time for self care. He doesn’t mind playing with the kid if he has free time or if he chooses to on the weekends.

•Harvey made his own hat that sorta looks likes Eddies but instead it has a lot of patches but Eddie finds it adorable.

• “Look It’s Frank! You wanna give him the mail buddy?” “Mhm! I got this!” “Alrighty! Here’s the mail and remember to make yourself known” “Okie dokie!” Harvey then skipped to Frank’s house. “FRANKIE! YOU GOTS MAIL!” “AHH! Oh my goodness! You scared me Harvey but thank you buddy” “Yous is welcome!” Harvey left giggling as he was happy. Eddie was smiling the whole time

•He’s sorta a dad figure to Harvey and Harvey has called him dad on many occasions but Eddie doesn’t mind as he finds it cute.

Frank

•Frank is actually the main babysitter because Harvey has nicknamed him ‘Uncie Frank!’ Or ‘Frankie!’ But also he’s the one whose most likely to make Harvey actually have nap time and get his energy out.

•Frank is willing to help take over if he sees your overwhelmed because on some weeks you work with Howdy and on some weekends you work with the mail office! You are on and off between weeks and weekends

•Frank tells him all about butterflies making Harvey come over often just to hear more. Harvey usually sits down,looks up with him with a curious puppy face as he listens.

• “Uncie Frankie,what dat?” “That is…not a butterfly but it’s a moth but what type?” Soon you came behind them to pick up Harvey. “Oh an oleander hawk moth! Beauty ain’t it?” “DADDY/MOMMY!” Frank jumped a bit the sighed in relief. “Ah Y/N,also it is beautiful” picking up Harvey as you placed him on your hip you took a picture of the hawk moth with the camera around your neck. “I did a whole essay on that when I was in school!”

Julie Joyful

•Julie loves both you and Harvey! She’s often at your house to spend time with you or Harvey or both! She’s basically become your second child and Harvey’s sister.

•She actually lets you take naps as she plays with Harvey. She’s worried as you overwork and overwhelm yourself. She makes sure Harvey lets you rest so they’ll play outside for your nap.

•Julie is the second babysitter if Frank can’t babysit. Harvey and Julie get each other’s energy out fast with the many games they play! Mostly play pretend or hopscotch or their playing games they made up together

•Knocking on your door Julie smiled as she swayed side to side. You opened the door yawing as Harvey was on the ground pretending to be a worm. “Julie,hey guessing you wanna play with Harvs?” “Mhm! You can take a nap Y/N! I’ll take good care of him!” “Thank you,been on chaotic week” Soon you face planted into the couch immediately falling asleep. “Hey Harvey wanna go play hopscotch?” “Yes peas!” Harvey got up running towards Julie as they went outside to give you peace.

•Julie sometimes has sleepovers because she loves the way you make her feel oh so safe! Plus more time with her favorite buddy! She’s now the sister figure of Harvey

Howdy

•Howdy meet him because Harvey secretly helped him with his job. He didn’t notice until all the cans he needed to be put up were gone to only see a three your old put them away how he likes it. “Heya kid,where’s your guardian” “Mommy/daddy is with Uncie Wally! Said I can get candy but wanna help you because you look like Mommy/daddy when they work a LOT!” Howdy chuckled at Harvey’s comment. Ended up letting the kid take it for free for being so helpful

•When he met you he saw Harvey again but how he kept begging to push the cart which you allowed with your help as he is so tiny! He loved your personality and now sees why Harvey said that the first time they met.

•The others often come in talking but you and Harvey always come up. He does make conversation with you both becoming friends with you two fast as Harvey gifts him drawings or old action figures he no longer plays with but wants Howdy to have!

•He can’t babysit as he’s very busy but that’s not needed when Harvey will just sit by his counter rambling about things and playing with the toys he brought or his fingers. Finds it adorable to only realize Harvey has a habit of wondering away

•May or may not offer to make him a balloon for you to tie around his wrist…your still considering it

Sally Starlet

•Adores Harvey as he always makes it to her shows with you but she doesn’t get mad when you fall asleep,she knows it’s very difficult as a single parent so she’ll make sure to let you sleep during her plays.

•Harvey sometimes joins her plays but when he does their usually easy plays as he’s only three years old. She is amazed how a three year old can make outfits (He learnt from his GamGam aka Grandma because she knit and sew a lot!)

• “Okay Harvey what’s your lines?” Sally was smiling as she was bending down to Harvey’s height. Harvey thought for a while. “It’s ‘I shall slay da monster!’ Right?” “Yeah good job buddy!” She gave him double high-fives making him giggle

•Will hold your son under her arm while she carefully speed walks as Harvey pretends to be an airplane. She can be a babysitter but it depends if she’s got plans or shows

Barnaby

•He fucking loves the kid! Is like Harvey’s best friend as he’ll just pick up the kid and run around making Harvey laugh.

•When he met you he knew immediately that he’ll start to take the kid just so you can rest because of how energetic and adventurous Harvey is. Will also let you sleep on him as well as Harvey because he’s super sort(his fur helps)

• “Harvey! Wanna play hide and seek?” “YES PEAS!” “Okay! I’ll hide!” “Otay! I count to…20!” Harvey turned around shutting and covering his eyes while Barnaby went to hide. When you went to pick up Harvey you were met with your son hiding on top of a tree while Barnaby looked for him. You took a picture before calling for Harvey. They played again tomorrow.

•He’s Harvey’s big brother figure.

Matteo Beloved

•He and Harvey are twins. Will take Harvey to his radio station just so they can spend time together as Harvey loves him and Matto sees him as his little brother.

•He was raised by a single mother so he knows how tricky it will be for you. Always comes over and cooks for you so you can rest for a while will also become Harvey’s teacher as he was in the past. Honestly the neighbors just assume he lives with you now instead of his radio station but he still lives there

• “Heya chiquito!” “UNCIE MATTIE!” Matteo was smiling as he crouched for the boy to hug him. “Oh super big strong hug!” “Hehe! I super strong!” “Yeah you are! Wanna help me with today’s broadcast?” “Mhm!” You smiled as Matto put him on his shoulder as the two chaotic boys laughed on their way to the station.

•He and Harvey both ramble about their hyper fixation,ends up with them falling asleep. You gave him a copy of your key as he basically lives with you. You came home one late night to see Harvey sleeping on the boogie man’s chest with the TV playing Teenage mutan ninja turtles which you of coursed took a picture of!

Over all the whole neighborhood loves you and your son making them all be a big old family with you

#welcome home #welcome home arg x reader #welcome home x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #single parent reader #can be seen as platonic or romantic #x gn reader #fluff #Matteo beloved

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