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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Lance Henriksen on His Career: ‘Every Job I’ve Ever Gotten Was a Gift’

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Lance Henriksen has been one of the screen’s most distinctive character actors and overall badasses for going on 50 years. A genuine working actor who always seems to be showing up in a film or TV show, the New York-born Henriksen’s early film career featured small roles in some of the most iconic films of the 1970s, including Dog Day Afternoon, Network and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Even though his long and varied run on the big and small screen was just getting underway, he managed to work with directors like Sidney Lumet and Steven Spielberg.

He also didn’t have a clue at the time that those films would endure decades later as classics of their era.

“I had no idea,” he says while speaking to us on the phone about his latest film, Falling. “I was just grateful to have a job and do my best and try. It was a gift. Every job I’ve ever gotten, I feel it was a gift. I don’t make any bones about that. It’s just a lot of luck.”

Now at the age of 80, Henriksen is a statesman of cinema in Falling, Viggo Mortensen’s directorial debut. However, the older actor wasn’t always sure luck was going to come his come his way. His father was a merchant sailor who was away at sea most of the time. His mother, who worked as a dance instructor, a model, and a waitress, divorced Henriksen’s father when her son was just two and struggled to raise both Lance and his brother on her own. Stints in foster care and abuse at the hands of other family members followed, with Henriksen out of school after first grade and out of his home for good at 12. He didn’t learn to read until he was nearly 30 years old.

It was around that time that he began working in theater, first in set design and then eventually on the sets themselves as an actor. His first film appearance came in 1972, in the long-forgotten It Ain’t Easy for director (and future Star Trek: The Next Generation producer/writer) Maurice Hurley. Three years later, he was an FBI agent in Lumet’s Dog Day Afternoon, which got him a call from Spielberg, the red-hot young director of Jaws who was then prepping his alien contact epic, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

In that film, Henriksen played one of the many scientists and technicians on hand for the arrival of the alien mothership and its crew.

“[Spielberg] was getting ready to shoot the mothership leaving, with all the little creatures and all the astronauts going up onto the machine,” the actor recalls now. “And I ran over and said, ‘Hey, listen, Steven, I’ve got an idea. What if I take my coat, throw it over one of these little creatures, and run into the Porta-Potties with it, so we’ve got proof, because this thing’s going to take off and disappear.’ And he looked at me and goes, ‘Lance, listen to me, that’s a different movie.’”

Following that mid-1970s run, which also included the 1978 horror sequel, Damien: Omen II, and the truly bonkers sci-fi cult film The Visitor, with John Huston and Glenn Ford, Henriksen wouldn’t see his next big break until 1982. That’s when a first-time director named James Cameron cast him in Piranha 2: The Spawning, which Cameron was shooting for exploitation producer Ovidio G. Assonitis.

“I like Jim,” says Henriksen of the man who would later go on to make game-changing, record-breaking blockbusters like Titanic and Avatar. “I met him on Piranha 2. Neither one of us liked that movie, but we did it. We had to do that movie. We weren’t supported very much by the producers…And then when the movie was done, we all went home and I remember they fired Jim the last day of shooting so that they could edit and control the movie.”

According to Henriksen, the producers of Piranha 2 took the film out of Cameron’s hands and presented their own edit to distributor Columbia Pictures, which rejected it.

Says Henriksen, “Jim took the same footage that they showed Columbia. He re-edited it and brought it back to [the studio]. And that’s the cut that released. It’s a great story. I hope it’s true.”

Cameron cast Henriksen in his next two movies, both of which turned into sci-fi/action classics: 1984’s The Terminator and 1986’s Aliens. It was in the latter film that Henriksen created the first of several iconic performances by playing the enigmatic and ultimately heroic android Bishop. Other 1980s standouts for Henriksen included Prince of the City, The Right Stuff, and Jagged Edge, while the latter half of that decade yielded lead roles in two horror cult classics, Pumpkinhead and Near Dark.

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Although Henriksen continued to work steadily in movies throughout the 1990s, 2000s and 2010s, it was a TV show that yielded perhaps his most famous character after Bishop: ex-FBI profiler and serial killer hunter Frank Black in creator Chris Carter’s nightmarish thriller series Millennium. The series was Carter’s follow-up to The X-Files and it ran for three seasons and 67 episodes on Fox from 1996 to 1999.

“I think the thing that I admired the most was when I was offered the role, I didn’t right away know it was television,” says Henriksen, who also admits that the show’s oppressive nature and the tormented psyche of his character wore on him during its three-year run. “I got to a restaurant with Chris Carter and the director. I said, ‘Let me ask you something. This is so dark. A lot of serial killers. A lot of bad people. Where’s the light going to come from?’ And all Chris Carter said to me was, ‘The yellow house.’ And then I got it right away. It was about [Black’s] family and I agreed to do it.”

Henriksen adds, “Occasionally it sucked me in,” referring to Millennium’s relentlessly grim atmosphere. “But it was a tough show. It wasn’t an easy one. It was also kind of a groundbreaker at the time, I think.” Henriksen has been quoted as saying that it took him “a year” to get out of the head of Frank Black after the show was cancelled, and has often noted that he finds it difficult to detach himself from a character after the project has finished shooting.

When it came to Falling, Henriksen says he was actually leery at first of playing Willis Peterson, the conservative and homophobic father of a middle-aged gay man named John (Mortensen, who also wrote and scored the movie). Nearing the end of his life, perpetually angry and having pushed two wives and his children away from him, Willis is perhaps the most complex role of Henriksen’s career but one which he says was exhausting to play.

“I have to tell you the minute we were wrapped and we finished the movie, I said, ‘Viggo, I’m going to disappear for a while. I got to get myself back,’” Henriksen explains. “I was a little afraid to do it. I got so deep into some of it that I got a little afraid that I’m going to get a form of Alzheimer’s of some kind–I won’t be able to shake it. But I was able to shake it. But anyway, it was intense. It really was, the stakes were very high. And we had a short time to do it. We shot it in five weeks.”

Henriksen’s relationship with Mortensen–best known to genre fans as Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings–stretches back to the 2008 Western Appaloosa, in which both men starred alongside Ed Harris. “We both love Westerns and we all enjoyed it,” says Henriksen of his first collaboration with Mortensen. “All three of us: Ed loves Westerns. He knows how to ride, he knows how to do it. It was nice to meet Viggo. He’s as good a guy as I’ve ever met. I liked him right away, really good guy.”

Nevertheless, Henriksen–a graduate of the Actors Studio and a practitioner of method acting–still wasn’t sure he wanted to play Willis when Mortensen sent him the Falling script. “It scared me,” he admits. “He said, ‘Would you do it?’ I said, ‘Sure, I’m scared, but I’ll do it.’ And then we lost the original backing and it took two years to finally get new backing, and he said, ‘You still want to do it?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And he goes, ‘That didn’t sound very enthusiastic, Lance.’ I said to him, ‘The truth is, I’m going to have to visit some real dark places from my youth, my childhood, all of that, and I’m nervous.’”

In Falling, John brings Willis home to Los Angeles with him to stay with his family, including husband Eric (Terry Chen) and their adopted daughter Monica (Gabby Velis) while they look for a new home for Willis closer to John and his sister Sarah (Laura Linney). But Willis is resolutely against leaving his rural farm in heartland America, determined to stick to his sheltered lifestyle even as the onset of dementia begins to blur the past and the present in his mind.

Despite his anxiety about delving into Willis’ tortured, embittered psyche, Henriksen now imparts that participating in the film became an instant highlight of his career. “It was the best experience I’ve ever had as an actor,” he says. “The support to do it and [Mortensen’s] appreciation level and all of those things were everything that I hoped for… I have nothing but gratitude. This is maybe the best role I’ve gotten in my lifetime. I really think that.”

Those are strong words coming from an actor who has appeared in many of the definitive films of the last five decades, but Falling may well feature some of the most emotionally raw work he’s done during his lifetime in the business. “I’m grateful to be an actor,” Lance Henriksen says with sincerity. “I’m an apprentice to every new subject. It’s been my education. I’m a lucky guy, I really am.”

Falling is out in theaters, on digital, and on demand now.

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letterstothemidnightsociety · 4 years ago

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THAT’S RIGHT BITCH! It’s October and I am still watching and inexplicably blogging about Supernatural - a dinosaur of a television show that’s been on the air longer than most children I know have been alive.

I know I’m An Old because I don’t think kids these days understand the struggle it was watching television before streaming. We had to wait for episodes. Hell, I don’t think kids these days even really have to wait for seasons. I mean, Voltron premiered on Netflix in 2016, capped off their seasons at 13 episodes a piece and, oh yeah - aired seasons 5 - 8 all in 2018. Was I mad about that? No of course not. Do I also say phrases like “kids these days? Yes, so who even knows if what I think is relevant anymore.

Alright, so speaking of seasons, last time I looked at pilots and pilot seasons and how the streaming era is changing everything we know about starting a TV show. But once you’ve got your pilot down, now what?

Not this kind of pilot. Also, based on the prerequisites for demon possession, we’re all agreed this co-pilot’s like, an alcoholic, right?

There’s a rule in TV (sort of) that the first six episodes (some might argue the first season entirely) should be a kind of rehash of the pilot. The pilot sets up your premise and once you’ve got your pilot down, your job as a TV writer is to re-establish that premise over and over again. You’re building your world, you’re writing it’s rules. You’re setting up a template, a formula for how your episodes are gonna play out. This helps your audience get to know the characters, get familiar with your world, get comfortable spending time with them. Essentially, you’re getting your audience to trust the show that they’re going to be tuning in to for at least the next 20-some-odd episodes.

I’d also argue that this is important so that later, you can break that format later. I’m not saying you should break the trust your audience puts in you, and that’s probably a real fine line of distinction. But if you break your rules right, it can hit the audience with a big emotional sucker punch. Or, it can stand out as a real breakout, tentpole of an episode - I’m thinking specifically about Ghostfacers! In season 3, or Once More, With Feeling, from Buffy. Those episodes work, really work, because they deviate from the formula, but they only work because we know the formula so well. And these aren’t big changes to the way episodes are done, they’re just shifted ever so slightly that they felt new again..

So what is the premise of the first four episodes Supernatural? What’s the formula they set up for the rest of the series?

Brothers. I said it in my last post, I’ll say it again, Sam and Dean/Jensen Ackles and Jared Jared Padalecki are what makes this show. Full stop. I think we could have gotten 5 seasons out of a show starring two other dudes. I do not think this show could have gotten 15 seasons with two other dudes. So from the pilot through Phantom Traveler, we learn that Sam and Dean have a sh*tty home life - their mother was killed by some mysterious evil thing and their father raised them to be little demon-hunting child soldiers while they look for the killer. Oh yeah, and Sam’s girlfriend died the exact same way which we will never forget because Sam’s gonna have a dream about it almost every episode from here on out. We set up the tension between the brothers - that Sam got to go to college while Dean stayed with their dad like a good boi. We learn that everybody hates each other probably because they are deeply and unhealthily codependent love each other so damn much.

Next we get the basic rundown of the season arc:

Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days. The Winchester brothers are looking for him and by extension, looking for answers as to what killed their mom/Sam’s girlfriend. We also get the basic rundown of every episode: dad is a mysterious and elusive sonuvuabitch, so every episode they go about, say it with me now:

“The family business.” I would also accept “Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can,” but why can’t I find a gif for it?!?

Backtracking on this but you know what else gets hecking established with the Winchesters? Sam is the cute one with the people skills and the puppy dog face, so you’d naturally assume that he’s the soft one. No. Not the case. Dean is the Sofffft Boi. The SOFTest boi. Dean wants Sam to talk about his feelings, Dean wants Sam to not keep things bottled up, Dean is the one who desperately wants to keep a hold of his family and also is just deeply broken and traumatized on the inside and oh no, I told myself I wouldn’t do this but I did it anyway. Sorry not sorry. This watch, I’m really picking up on the fact that Dean is, weirdly, the Mom Friend in this first season. Like, he’s basically a Trailer-Trash-Teen-Pregnancy Mom who’ll give you spaghettios five nights a week and a shot of whiskey so you’ll quit yer bitchin’ and go to sleep faster, but he’s the Mom nonetheless. Later in this season and in other seasons, I think you even see him do his dumb-baby-best filling in as the Mom when John went off the deep end. Anyway, I have a lot of feelings and we don’t have time to unpack all of that so I’ll just move on.

RUDE.

Next we set up our Supernatural Bag of Holding - what’s in it? What are the mystical artifacts they use to kill those evil sons of bitches? First up is The Car. Damn, I am not a cars girl, but that 67 Chevy, it does things to me.

This car has some weird pavlovian trigger for me, it’s not NATURAL.

The journal.

John Winchester, you journal the way I imagine a psycho killer journals and I would just really appreciate it if you could be ANY MORE ORGANIZED THAN THIS.

The Trunk Full of Weapons - I love that in these first few episodes (and possibly the rest of the series???) they give this HELLA conspicuous look every time they open the trunk full of weapons. It’s hilarious EVERY TIME.

No, you’re not being obvious at ALL, guys.

The Fake ID’s - from credit cards to impersonating feds, these boys are not afraid to break the law to save some lives and I feel like that’s...that’s the theme of the show maybe? They’re here to save people and they’ll do what they have to to do that? In a world that clearly establishes a dark vs. light/good vs. evil dichotomy, the Winchester make it their job to live in a world of grey? Basically?

Next on the checklist for this first season of Supernatural - it’s spoopy. *Spoop mileage may vary.* I said it last time, but I’ll say it again: this first season aired at 9:00pm at night. That means it’s primetime stuff for the 18 - 25 year old crowd, but they don’t want to risk some 13 year old watching it and getting too scared before bed. 9:00pm is X Files time slots, Fringe time slots. 9:00pm says you’re gonna get something a little more gruesome and gory and shocking than at 8pm. 8pm is for Friends. Vampire Diaries aired at 8pm its first season. 9pm is for the real adult content (but not too adult because the audience is still mostly children).

SPOOP!

But yeah, let’s look at the real horror vibe that you get off of these first four episodes. We talked about La Llorona from the first episode - this is a legit ghost that they fight. The kids at the end that literally drag their mom to hell? Pretty spooky stuff. The Wendigo in episode 2 is a literal monster of the week and so for me personally, it’s not that scary, but it is a cannibal monster that eats human flesh. Dead in the Water has vibes from both Jaws and Friday the 13th. Everything from the lighting to the sound design let’s you know this is a horror show, or as horror as you can get on network television. Listen to the scenes just before somebody dies and you get a nice creepy “Come play with me” whisper coming out of the water. I’m a little spooked just thinking about it now. Yes I know I’m a chicken, and I’m OK WITH THAT. And if we go past my season 1 disc 1 into episode 5, Bloody Mary is STILL terrifying and I STILL watched that episode with half my face covered. That’s where I am these days. It’s 2020 and the world is a nightmare but imagining Bloody Mary creepin’ out in my mirror does not need to be a part of it.

SHE F*CKIN CLIMBS OUT OF THE MIRROR GUYS! I DIDN’T KNOW SHE COULD DO THAT!!!

Then we get Phantom Traveler and our very first case of black-eyed-demonic possession. Watching this episode now, it’s like watching someone’s home movie of their first steps as a baby. They’ve never even done an exorcism before guys! They have to read the exorcism rite out of the journal! It’s so cute!!! Let’s not think too hard about how they got that full sized bottle of holy water past TSA in a post-9/11 world. And try to ignore how poorly these special effects have aged - the smoke from the demon possession?? OMG! THIS EFFECT! I’m pretty sure I could make that effect with my first ever graphic design software on my, like, 2009 mac book pro. So cute and soooo good! I’m gonna leave that CG plane alone, they’re doing their best.

SO cute and SOOO good!

You want to know what my favorite established staple of Supernatural season 1 is? The extras. LOOKIT these guys -

Wendigo you have Cory Monteith who later goes on to star in Glee.

You have Alden Ehrenreich, Debatable Han Solo, doing a lot of face work with very little dialogue.

You have Gina Holden who is in SO. MANY. Spooky-type things! My personal favs are Blood Ties and Harper’s Island, but she’s in Fringe, she’s in the SAW franchise, she’s in the Final Destination franchise, she was in some deleted scenes on an episode of Teen Wolf! I LOVE seeing Gina Holden, anywhere she pops up.

And speaking of Harper’s Island, you’ve also got Callum Keith Rennie who played John Wakefield in Harper’s Island, a show that was A+ Great and I highly recommend if you like Agatha Christie and/or murder mysteries.

Honestly, Rennie looks like he’s about to murder a bitch in this episode of Supernatural, it is not a stretch to believe he’s a psycho killer.

Dead in the Water you’ve got Amy Acker, a regular in Joss Whedon and Whedon-adjacent type shows.

Good LORD, this wardrobe was SO 2000′s WB and it PAINED me.

And finally in Phantom Traveler, you have Jaime Ray Newman who also shows up in a lot of the shows that I like to watch. She was in Eureka, she was in Midnight Texas, both kind of terrible shows that I love because they are terrible, but she was ALSO in Bates Motel and Veronica Mars, which are generally considered to be more quality, so there’s that.

This still implies that they actually LIT scenes, which is a SURPRISE TO ME.

Point is, seeing these actors in Supernatural back in the early 2000’s felt like I was seeing the start of their careers. That may or may not have been the case, but as a viewer it was exciting to see them pop up again in other things.

So what about TV now? Do we still use those first 6 (sometimes more) episodes to re-establish the premise? Well, it certainly hasn’t gone away. Look at any network show that still produces 22 - 24 episodes a season and you’ll still see that the pilot season just keeps re-iterating the premise established in the pilot episode, specifically in anything that’s procedural - that’s you’re monster/problem-of-the-week shows. Think sitcoms like Brooklyn 99 or Superstore or dramedies like Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. The reason being that these shows play in the traditional model of television - on a network, once a week. They are not releasing episodes all at one time or relying on their audiences to stream a whole season in one sitting. These are shows that still assume that someone out there is going to tune in or stumble across their show one night while they’re surfing channels (lol) and need to be told, no matter what episode they’ve just turned on, what the premise of the show is. They need to be formulaic so that people can pick it up anywhere at any time.

But what about shows that don’t follow this traditional model? I mentioned in my last post that seasons are getting shorter and shorter, so when you’re writing a show that only has (8) episodes instead of 22, how much time do you really want to spend establishing the premise? Because of these short seasons, you’re also dealing with shows that are more serialized and less procedural than their predecessors - meaning, you’re dealing with a show that focuses on a season long story (think Game of Thrones or Stranger Things where each episode is an important chapter that you can’t skip) vs. a procedural (think the shows I mentioned above or any cop drama really) where each episode is it’s own contained story, neatly wrapped up at the end. These are shows where you can skip an episode and still know where you are in the show no matter where you start or stop watching. Supernatural is a little bit of both - procedural with their monsters of the week AND serialized with a season long arc. We’ll talk more on that in a later post.

Not only are we getting shorter seasons, but we’re also dealing with shows that are not released over long periods of time. A few streaming channels, like Disney+ and HBO Max, make a deliberate point to slow-drip their seasons, but most streaming channels will release entire seasons in one shot. You don’t need to worry about your audience missing an episode because they have 24/7 access to all the episodes all at once. And for the most part, they’re designed to be binged. They start at full speed and they don’t slow down to keep driving you to the finale.

Do I think the procedural is ever going to go away? No. As much talk as there is about dropping the cop drama from TV all together, I think audiences still love a good mystery series. And you can’t just think of procedurals as cop dramas either - a procedural also covers most if not all sitcoms. New Girl, Letterkenny, Parks and Rec, Superstore - these all have a premise that doesn't change from week to week. They may make tiny shifts away from what they set up in the pilot, but by and large, you know what you’re getting into any time you turn on an episode. I think we as an audience still like that kind of familiarity. We may be seeing a bigger swing towards more serialized content, but that doesn't mean that the procedural is dead and gone.

So that’s what we’ve got for Supernatural - two dudes, driving around in a car full of spears and hand guns, killing bad guys. Some day, they may even find that father that’s missing. What could possibly go wrong? A lot. Stay tuned.

#Supernatural #Supernatural Season 1 #Supernatural Rewatch #Sam #Dean #Winchester #Pilot #Wendigo #Phantom Traveler #Television #History of television #Dead in the Water #Jensen Ackles #jared padalecki

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yikestripes · 5 years ago

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Dancing in the dark

request: Hi! Can I request a Bill denbrough x reader? Where Bill and the reader is secretly dating. and the Losers plan on having a sleepover at Bills house. so when everyone shows up The reader is already there. and She’s cuddling on the couch with Bill and wearing his clothes. and the Losers walk in on them kissing and they get all nervous and say something stupid like "I was choking and Bill was helping me" and Richie’s like "by sucking off your face?" And just really funny and fluffy?

A/N: here you go, @you-s-suckbowers !!! i hope it’s what you had in mind when you requested!! this was s o fun to write! this was such a cute request i hope you like it!!

You raised your fist to knock on the door of the Denbrough’s house, but Bill opened the door before you had the chance, greeting you with a warm smile.

“Hi.” He said, opening the door to let you in.

“Hi.” You grinned.

“Can I take your bag?” He asked, taking it without waiting for an answer. You placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and followed him down to the basement. Bill placed your bag in a nearby corner, wandering over to the snack table to steal a few chips. You wrapped your arms around him, and let your head come to rest on his back. You felt his laugh reverberating as he turned around to give you a proper hug. These were the most special moments you had with Bill, because you could actually act like a couple. Around your friends, you had to keep up the facade of being just friends. You and Bill had agreed, at least for the time being, to keep your relationship a secret. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell your friends, or didn’t want there to be a hundred questions, or even meddling in your relationship. There had been plenty of that anyway, when you’d both spent years pining after one another. You just wanted to keep it special, something small just for yourselves. To keep the magic and the fun of sneaking around alive for just a little bit longer.

“What time is everyone supposed to get here?” You asked, taking a step away from Bill to grab some pretzels.

“Around 7:30, so about 20 minutes.” Bill checked his watch and glanced up at you, munching thoughtfully on pretzels.

You took a sip of your water bottle and looked at Bill, thinking, as he walked around making sure everything was good to go for the losers’ sleepover party. You’d just come from your waitressing job and hadn’t had time to pack spare clothes since you were running late, and your movement reminded you you were still wearing your entire uniform, including your apron.

You began by taking off your apron and placing it with your stuff, and looking to Bill.

“Mind if I steal some stuff?” You asked, batting your eyes, despite knowing he would say yes regardless.

Bill smiled, grabbed your hand, and led you upstairs to his room.

“Sweatpants and a sweatshirt?” Bill asked as you entered, immediately flopping onto his bed.

“You know me so well!” You said with a small laugh. He grabbed the garments and tossed them your way, waiting for you to finish changing before heading back downstairs with you, hand in hand.

You went back into the basement and grinned at Bill, wiggling your eyebrows as you headed towards your stuff.

He watched as you bent over, packing your work uniform back into your backpack. Primarily, he was definitely staring at your ass. That was one of his favorite things about you; your ass. As soon as you stood back up and turned around, Bill strode over to you and put his hands on the sides of your face, and locked you in a sweet kiss.

You heard footsteps overhead as you broke away from Bill, signaling for him to check his watch. It was 7:30 on the dot, and that meant that the Loser’s were probably bombarding the foyer. You ran upstairs behind Bill, only to find half of the Loser’s standing there awkwardly, presumably waiting for Bill to guide them downstairs.

You were the last one into the basement, shutting the door behind you, bathed in darkness. You ran down the stairs to catch up with the others and back into the light. Despite being above the age of 10, the dark still freaked you out a bit, especially after the encounter with Pennywise years ago.

Bev put her stuff near yours, and joined you near the drink table, where you stood sipping on more water.

“What time did you get here?” Bev asked, pouring herself some Pepsi.

“I don’t know, like 7 something?” You said absentmindedly staring at Bill, who was arguing about movies with Richie across the room.

“Oh wow, why were you here so early? Trying to sneak in some makeout time with Big Bill?” Bev nudged your ribs, knowing about your former crush on Bill.

“HA, nope. I was just helping him set up.” You lied.

“Oh come on, (Y/N)! You were in love with him for YEARS!” She said as you tried to quiet her down, afraid the others would hear. Despite obviously already dating him, the others never really knew about your feelings for Bill. Besides your sometimes obvious pining, and long sideways glances, they’d never heard directly from your mouth that you felt anything beyond friendship for Bill, other than Beverly. The boys, of course, had heard it from Bill’s side, who fell for you as soon as you met when you were 7 and had just moved to Derry.

Bill saw you staring and grinned, losing focus on Richie and the debate of choosing a movie.

You turned your attention back to Beverly, who was now paying attention to the movie argument happening across the room.

“Come on, let’s watch The Shining! I love that movie!” Richie said, holding up the tape.

“Ugh, that’s so scary though!” Stanley said, folding his arms.

“That’s the point, Stanely! None of us are afraid of a fuckin’ movie.” Richie rolled his eyes and Stan huffed, taking a spot next to Ben on the couch.

“What about Beetlejuice?” Bev suggested.

“Or how about Ferris Bueller?”

“Ooh! The Goonies!”

The debate went on until there was another knock at the door, and Bill ran to grab it.

“I vote The Shining.” You said, taking your place on the couch opposite the other couch.

“See?” Richie cried, grinning.

Footsteps filled the room, and Mike and Eddie filed in behind Bill.

“Are we choosing a movie?” Eddie asked, plopping 2 duffle bags next to the tv. “I think we should watch something that isn’t too scary, I get nightmares from scary movies.”

“What’s in the duffle bags, Eds? All your birth control?” Richie asked, wearing his signature shit-eating grin.

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“No, fuckface. They’re vitamins so I don’t catch any diseases from being around you!” Eddie retorted. The two bickered back and forth until you were all fed up, and decided to vote on the movie.

Despite Eddie and Stan’s protests, you all had democratically settled on watching The Shining.

You were next to Bill on the couch, and without thinking, cuddled into his side. Every time there was a jumpscare, he would hold you a little bit tighter, pausing to rub your shoulder or smile down at you, so invested in the film.

The other Losers, on the other hand, shared confused looks. Beverly noticed right away you were wearing Bill’s sweatshirt, but that wasn’t entirely abnormal, considering you were always complaining about being cold. She attested the same to your wearing his sweatpants too, but was somewhat suspicious. Richie was too invested in the movie to care, and Eddie was too busy complaining to notice anything out of the ordinary. The other Losers continued to share strange looks, especially those on the couch adjacent to the one you were laying on with Bill. Stanley looked at Ben, who simply shrugged his shoulders and stared at Bev, laying on the floor beside Richie.

No one said anything to either of you for the rest of the movie, pausing in between for bathroom and snack breaks. You’d all stood up after the movie, stretched a little, and decided to get the party goin’ a little bit harder.

“What do you loser’s say we play a game?” Bev suggested, a wicked grin crossing her face. She looked at you and wiggled her eyebrows, causing your eyes to widen. You could tell exactly what she was thinking, and she knew it too. She had every intention to “set up” you and Bill.

There weren’t many protests, outside of those from Stanley and Eddie, although they went mostly ignored.

“I declare 7 minutes in Heaven!” Richie said. You shared a look with Bill, him smiling as if to tell you everything was going to be fine. He sat across from you in the circle, almost ensuring if someone was going to get picked, it would be you two. Bev placed an empty bottle in the center of the circle, and let it go until it stopped on her and Ben. Her eyes widened, the plan obviously not working the way she thought it was going to, and Ben’s face was brighter than a ripe tomato.

“Come on Bev, it’ll be FUN!” You winked at her as she glared, visibly nervous.

You followed behind them to make sure they were going to stay in there for the full 7 minutes, followed shortly after by Bill, “for the use of his watch” as he had told the others.

You had left Bev and Ben to their own devices in the closet, following Bill to a similarly secluded area of his basement where the Losers’ couldn’t see them from the sitting area Bill had fashioned.

You stood behind a mattress, which also blocked your view of the Losers’. They seemed fine to be left alone for the time being, somewhat monitoring the time for Bev and Ben. Bill pulled you closer to him, and pressed a passionate kiss to your soft lips. You melted into the kiss and sighed contently, pulling him in a bit closer by his hips. He groaned quietly into your mouth, which made you grin. Driving Bill wild was one of your specialties, and you both loved it.

A few minutes had passed when Bill broke to check his watch, when Ben and Beverly still had about 4 minutes remaining in the closet. Bill raised his hands to your face again and kissed you harder, using his tongue to gain access to your now open mouth. This made you lose your mind a little bit, completely distracting you from listening for potential spies coming to check on you guys.

“What the FUCK!” You heard Richie yell, inciting the others to come running, besides Ben and Bev. You and Bill immediately broke apart, jumping away from each other, startled.

“What the fuck was that?” Richie asked, adjusting his glasses in the dim light.

“Uh, (Y/N) was choking! I was saving her.” Bill explained quickly, a blush rising to his cheeks.

“By sucking her face off?” Richie looked incredulous, obviously not believing Bill’s lie.

“Yeah, I was choking on pretzels.” You said.

The loser’s looked at you suspiciously, not quite believing you.

“You’re telling us that you were saving her from choking, by sucking on her face?” Stanley asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah.” You and Bill said in unison.

“Then why is (Y/N) wearing your clothes? And why was she cuddling with you like that?” Eddie pressed.

“Oh look at the time, 7 minutes are up!” Bill said, walking towards the closet, knocking a few times.

Ben and Beverly emerged, tension immediately filled the room. Their lips were both more red than before, and Ben looked happier than he ever had before. Bev immediately came to your side, already ready to gossip about what happened, shoving Richie’s head away when he tried to listen in.

“Come on, I wanna know what the FUCK happened in that closet that Haystack looks happier than a pig in shit!” Richie cried.

A blush rose to Ben’s cheeks again as he shook his head as Mike grinned at him, knowingly.

Your moment with Bill was momentarily forgotten by the Losers as they walked back to the sitting area, Bill pulling you in for a quick kiss.

“That was a close one.” Bill sighed, rubbing his thumb across your cheek.

“Well, we knew we couldn’t sneak around forever.”

“Yeah, you have a good point. Oh well.” You rejoined the Losers, hand in hand, everyone slowly realizing and shouting out different things.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

“Wow, way to tell your best friend!”

“Huh. Never would’ve seen that coming.”

“You guys are so cute together.”

It went on like that for the rest of the night. A mix of “I told you so”’s, exchanging of money from various bets the other Loser’s had placed on you guys, and congratulations from all. They were all excited for you guys, of course. They all knew that you would end up together eventually.

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years ago

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1045.

Do you have any fascination with the macabre? Examples? >> I mean, sure, I guess you could say that. I think decay is neat and I’m obsessed with death rituals, stuff like that.

Do you actually think skeletons are scary? >> I mean, if I was seeing my own skeleton, that’d be fucked up. The bones are supposed to be on the inside, after all. But no, in general I don’t find skeletons scary. It’s just when you’re seeing one when you’re not at all supposed to be seeing one... now there’s the spook factor.

The Addams Family or The Munsters? Why? >> The Addams Family. I’m just attached to them; I didn’t get attached to the Munsters the same way.

Do you watch any late-night horror hosts? (Like Svengoolie or Elvira) >> I’ve never seen any of those.

Do you enjoy old horror/monster movies, or just enjoy making fun of them? >> I do enjoy some old horror movies. Not all of them, but there are definitely some gems.

What monster movie is your favorite? >> I don’t think I have a favourite monster movie, specifically.

Have you ever seen the Rocky Horror Show live? If so, was the event held at midnight? >> I’m not interested in Rocky Horror so I wouldn’t go to one of these. I wish I could have seen Repo! the Genetic Opera live, I heard that was a similar crowd-participation type experience.

Have you ever made fake blood at home? >> No.

Which TV version of Sabrina The Teenage Witch do you prefer? Why? (^^The Melissa Joan Hart one VS. Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) >> I’ve never seen either.

Do you ever watch the original Bewitched TV series? Which Darrin did you like best? >> No.

Did you like the Bewitched movie with Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell? >> I did not see it.

Have you ever seen The Witches of Eastwick? Did you like it? >> I did not see it.

Is Hocus Pocus really a good movie, or a bit overrated? >> I don’t know, I still haven’t seen it...

If you've seen The Craft, who was your favorite character and why? >> I didn’t have a favourite character. I wasn’t terribly interested in the movie when I saw it. It was okay, it just didn’t leave an impression.

Do you think a remake of it would be interesting? Or do you think it worked best in the nineties? >> I don’t think the remake -- which does actually exist now, for some reason -- would be interesting to me now, although maybe it’ll be interesting for the current teenage/young-adult generation the way it was for teenagers in the nineties. Or... maybe not. The nineties certainly were a different time, and witchcraft is less mystifying nowadays thanks to the internet than it was then.

What witch-themed movie/show is your favorite, anyhow? >> I don’t think I have one.

Do you like The Nightmare Before Christmas? >> I actually don’t. You’d think I would, but it just didn’t stick.

Do you count it as a Halloween movie and a Christmas movie? >> I really don’t know what it’s classified as, but I always assumed it was a Halloween-y movie that just happened to be centered around Christmas.

Do you like Jack or Sally better? >> ---

What other Tim Burton works do you enjoy, if any? >> I loved Edward Scissorhands, and Corpse Bride is fun, but most of his other work has been “meh” for me. They hit better when I was younger.

Are there any 'dark' or 'spooky' films you recommend? >> I’m sure I could recommend many, but I’d have to know who I was recommending them to.

Are any horror/suspense films actually scary to you? Which ones? >> Not really. There are a lot of engaging and immersive ones, but I can’t say they frightened me. I just enjoyed them.

Are there any songs that put you in a spooky mood? >> I don’t think so.

Just for fun -- what would your personal hell look like? >> I don’t think that’s a fun thing for me to think about.

What supernatural/paranormal themed TV show is your favorite, if any? >> The X-Files.

If you've watched Supernatural, did you like Crowley? >> I did like Crowley, when I watched it.

On Supernatural, do you like the angels or demons better? >> The angels. Most of them, anyway.

Did you have to read The Crucible for school? >> I did, and I fucking hated it.

Would you like to visit Salem, Massachusetts? >> Sure.

Would you like to visit the Winchester Mystery House? >> Eh.

What about Alcatraz? >> Meh.

Do you think it would be fun to stay at the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast, even though the 'hauntings' are so obviously faked? >> Probably not.

On that matter...do you think Lizzie actually did it? >> I don’t have an opinion.

Have you ever purchased anything from an occult or New Age shop? What? >> Just random things, I guess. Books, pretty rocks, incense, stuff like that.

Do you ever watch paranormal investigation shows even just to make fun of them? >> No. Also, since this has come up again... I don’t watch things for the purpose of making fun of them. That seems like a colossal waste of my time, when I could be watching things I actually enjoy...

Did you know Samhain is NOT pronounced Sam-hayn? (It's pronounced Sow-wenn.) >> I’ve also been told it’s pronounced “shah-vin”. I think it depends on whether it’s an Irish or Scottish person pronouncing it, and what part of the country they’re from, and so on. But yes, regardless, it is definitely not “Sam-hane”.

Do you know any Pagans/Wiccans? >> Yes.

Did you ever think that Wiccans worship the devil? (We do not. There is no such thing as the devil in Wicca, the devil is a Christian concept.) >> I am aware. No, I never thought that because I never had a reason to.

Do you know any Satanists? >> I think I might. I don’t remember.

Have you ever read The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth? >> Yeah.

Are there any animals that scare you? >> Not without context. Like, of course I’d be afraid of a bear if I was under immediate threat by one. But I’m not just arbitrarily afraid of bears or anything.

Would you ever keep a tarantula as a pet? >> I’d at least like to be friends with someone else’s pet tarantula.

Do you wear mostly black? >> Yes.

What do you think are some of the scariest things that happened in reality? >> Oh, you know. Genocide and stuff.

Are there any urban legends in your area? What are they? >> Probably, but I don’t know them.

Do porcelain dolls unnerve you? >> Nope.

Does your imagination get away from you if you're alone after dark? >> Nope.

Do you find dead trees beautiful? >> I do.

Have you ever been inside of an abandoned building? >> Yep.

What mythical creature do you think you'd like for a pet? >> What is people’s obsession with keeping things as pets, christ. Can’t they just exist and I can admire them doing whatever they’re doing without having to keep them for myself?

Is the light of the full moon eerie or peaceful? >> I mean, I just think it’s pretty.

Have you ever actually believed in monsters? (Like as a kid) >> Not in the child’s sense.

Any recurring nightmares? Care to share? >> No.

What myths/legends do you find most interesting? >> Which don’t I find interesting? (Spoiler: they’re all interesting.)

Have you ever watched The Twilight Zone? Night Gallery? Alfred Hitchcock Presents? If you've watched all three, which is your favorite? >> I’ve watched and greatly enjoyed The Twilight Zone. Never saw the other two.

Do you like the look of gothic mansions? >> Yes.

Do you own any books from Llewellyn Worldwide publishing company? >> Nope.

Did you ever go through a goth phase? >> Phase??? I can’t imagine what kind of insane warping of personality would have to occur for me to stop being goth.

#surveys #survey #random survey #(but kind of horror themed)#(i say ''kind of'' because stuff like ''do you know any pagans'' is... not horror themed)#(or any kind of spooky even. so)#not for reblogging *glare*

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hopewritcs · 5 years ago

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what’s a point break?

pairing: thor odinson x reader ( platonic )

word count: 3.1k

summary: y/n is one of tony stark and pepper potts’s assistants, having been a behind the scenes liason between pepper & stark industries. after the events of infinity war, y/n has taken on a bigger role at the compound, and one day finds thor watching the newscast again. a little educational movie night ensues, showing thor the film point break (1991).

notes: set post infinity war and pre endgame, but there are mentions of events in endgame. sooo, basically, point break is probably one of my favorite movies of all time and this is kind of a self indulgent thing ( an excuse to rewatch the film for the millionth time ). i spent a lot of time with this, writing dialogue in between the movie and pausing things to get something down even if I wasn’t going to have them talk during the movie. i probably watched this movie in about four hours and its a two hour long movie. also, i haven’t written for the mcu before, or for thor, so i hope i did it justice. i was really nervous about writing this tbh.

warnings & possible triggers: i tried not to spoil the entire film point break for those of you who haven’t seen it, but it’s kind of impossible when writing a fic like this to not let some spoilers go. triggers include mentions of things in the film. i tried to avoid the more major stuff in the film.

marvel tag list: n/a

The compound was always quiet now.

Before, it had been filled with life. Laughter. General sounds as people pattered through the hallway. Someone had almost always been in the kitchen, cooking for the group. Even Y/N had felt welcomed, from the moment she arrived. She’d expected her move from Stark Industries to the Avengers Compound to be a bit more of a hassle than it was. She’d expected much more paperwork than she’d been given. She was moving from working as Miss Potts’s personal assistant to a liaison between both the Avengers team and Miss Potts. From her arrival, Y/N felt welcomed wherever she’d gone in the halls. She felt like a part of the family.

Now the hallways were always empty, somber. It had been two and a half weeks since the battle in Wakanda. There was no laughter heard in the compound. In fact, Y/N barely heard any sounds. People were keeping to themselves, or their offices, for the most part. Everyone was still processing what happened, the general tone of the compound was like walking through a funeral hall. All the time. Almost like you needed to be quiet.

When Y/N walked through the halls with her files held against her chest, it was almost like there were ghosts walking there with her. With those murals and electronic portraits hung wherever people could see them, she felt like she was being watched by those who they had lost. Even the happier pictures that had been hung with care over the years of working and living in the compound held a sadness that she couldn’t explain in their frames.

Everyone thought Tony was dead, there was no reason to believe he could be alive. They hadn’t heard from him since he had left in the spaceship with Spiderman and Dr. Strange. But, there had been much communication between those left alive, the ones who they could find. Clint, for example, had dropped off the map by the time everyone had arrived home at the compound and they were working on tracking him down.

A constant line to Wakanda was left open, just in case. News stations were left muted in the background. Someone had managed to get FRIDAY to give news alerts if something happened they needed to be aware of.

People were losing the hope that they had. It seemed as though everyone was walking around with their head downcast, afraid to make eye contact, or see what was in front of them, or maybe just afraid. The death toll was still rising every day, from all the accidents that the snap had caused.

Y/N had mostly been doing busy work, making sure that both the Avengers and Stark Industries had press releases ready for anything that could happen. Her job was to edit them and send them to Pepper and the Avengers for approval. For now, it was solely falling to Pepper’s shoulders.

She’d just left Pepper’s office in the compound and made her way to the kitchen, getting some food. It was sparse in the kitchen, and Y/N made a note in the back of her mind for when things cooled down to send someone out ( or even simply let FRIDAY know about the grocery list ). A bottle of beer in one hand and a bag of chips in the other, Y/N was making her way back towards her bedroom when she caught the sight of Thor in the common room.

He was slumped on the couch, dressed as casually as she’d ever seen him before. It seemed as though the God of Thunder’s new look wasn’t his Asgardian war clothes, but sweatpants, a t-shirt, and zip up hoodie as well. His eyes were glazed over as he watched yet another news reel.

Y/N didn’t want to disturb him, she’d been friendly with him before but she didn’t know him well enough. And she didn’t want to startle him. It felt like most people were easy to startle these days, so she stood in the corner for a couple of moments, watching him watch the TV.

“I can hear you breathing.” The God commented in his deep voice, barely turning his head to look in her direction. But he had turned it enough to see who it was standing in the corner of the room.

Bashfully, Y/N ducked her head down and moved toward the couch, taking a seat in the farther corner from him. She sat in the corner, half propped up to face Thor and half facing the television. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. What are you watching?” She asked the question, even though it was obvious what he was doing. The news was quiet, but she’d caught the familiar telephone number on the bottom of the screen--a hotline to call for more information. She could hear the familiar newscaster’s commentary, probably reading from the teleprompter or his notes. Thor had bags of junk food around him, some opened or half opened or crumpled up, and he looked disheveled.

“Some news report. The casualty toll, they’re talking about it again. Another fallen aircraft was found.”

“Thor, we shouldn’t be watching this all the time.” She reached over gently to grab the remote control sitting on the couch when he grabbed her hand. Forceful was his tug on her wrist, but not to cause pain. It simply shocked her.

“We should be doing something about this.” Thor’s eyes are darker than she’s ever seen them before. They’re usually so blue and now they look almost black, overtaken by anger and grief.

“We are.”

“We should be doing more!” he shouted, hand falling on the couch beside him with a reverberating thump. Some of the bags beside him fell, leaving a spillage of pretzels and chips on the floor. “I should have stopped this.”

“You tried,” her voice is soft as she flips her hand over to hold onto Thor’s instead of being held onto by him. He flinched away from her touch, but turned his gaze to really look at her. His eyes were like storms brewing before her. “You all tried. And you’ll be there to try again.” She wasn’t sure how she was still so positive. Did she really believe that there would be something else to come? That there would be another battle to fight? Maybe she did. She worked with Tony Stark, and if that taught her anything it was that it was all possible.

“There is no again, Lady Y/N. We’ve lost the war.” Thor slumped down, his shoulders sagging against the pillows on the couch as he turned back to look at the television screen.

“FRIDAY please turn off the news channel in the common room.”

“Hey!” Thor protested beside her as the AI responded.

“Yes Miss.” FRIDAY’s reply came, sounding almost relieved ( as relieved as any artificial intelligence can sound ) to do so. It made Y/N wonder how long Thor had been sitting in this exact position.

“What was that for?” He’s completely turned in his seat to look at her, anger still dominating his eyes.

“Thor, we need to do something to get you out of this...this funk. With Tony,” Y/N paused. The mention of Tony’s name so freely in the moment felt right, but it still sent shuttering pain and sorrow through her body. She had to close her eyes and collect herself before continuing, “if I ever caught him in a funk in his lab, I would tell FRIDAY to put on some of his favorite songs and I’d distract him with an impromptu dance party. He just needed to get out of his head.”

“Yes, I could hear the music all the way from the kitchen sometimes.” Thor nodded, his head glancing toward the kitchen. It’s lost all darkness, and now he seems to be caught in a memory. After a couple of moments, Y/N almost thinks she’s lost the God of Thunder, and is about to ask him a follow up question, when he speaks again. “Do you know why Tony would call me Point Break? I’ve been on Midgard for some time and I still cannot figure the name out.” She laughed at that, a full bodied laugh that caught her off guard. She’s not even responded when Thor’s face scrunched up in confusion and then realization. “So you do know this! What is it?”

“It’s a surfing term. Well, technically it is. But it’s this movie from the nineties. Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves.” Y/N hummed her response, finally looking around and nodding her head. “I can see why he’d say it. I can see a bit of Swayze in you.” Thor’s expression is still confused, as if he doesn’t completely understand her comment. So Y/N waves her hand, dropping the comment before shifting in her seat. “I think FRIDAY’s got the movie on the files. Do you want to watch it?”

Thor studied Y/N for a moment. He almost wanted to turn back on the news broadcast, but he does know that she’s right. He is in a funk that she called it. “Perhaps watching the film will help me understand why Tony calls me this. I still believe I should have been called the strongest Avenger.” He grumbled, recalling the attempt to escape in the plane only to be caught off guard by the identification.

Y/N nodded her head, a genuine smile on her face. She moves a bit closer on the couch, shoving some of the wrappers to the floor between them and lifted her head toward the ceiling. “FRIDAY?”

“Yes Miss Y/L/N?”

“Do you have Point Break?”

“I have both the 1991 and 2015 versions, Miss. Though I must recommend the ‘91 version, as--”

“’91, please.” Y/N had cut the AI off, already knowing which she would have chosen. The television switches to a different screen as FRIDAY begins to cue up the film for them. Y/N leaned over to whisper to Thor ( even though no one else was in the room ), “the 2015 remake was awful. At least in my opinion. Nothing beats the original.” She explained, tapping his shoulder when the movie’s ready to start. “You can start it now, thanks FRIDAY!”

“No problem Miss.”

Thor offered Y/N a sip of his flash--what she assumed to be some of the ale he’d brought from Asgard with him--and she shook her head, showing him the beer bottle in her hands which she opened with the key to her room before taking a sip as the movie begun.

As the beginning rolled on, Y/N watched Thor out of the corner of her eyes. She’s unsure how many films he’s seen here on Midgard. She’s seen the film enough times that she can focus on Thor’s watching of the movie instead of actually watching it, though it is one of her favorites.

“There’s a couple of references I do not understand.” Thor murmured a couple of minutes into the movie as he glanced toward Y/N. They were both leaning back against the middle of the couch now.

“I’ll explain all the dirty jokes when the films over.” Y/N chuckled teasingly, turning her eyes back to the screen.

“What does a virgin and prom night have to do with anything?” Thor asked, gesturing to the screen where the two agents were talking about the bank robbery.

“Nothing, it’s a joke. Meant for the ha has even if it isn’t that funny." Sighing, she gives in for a moment and asked FRIDAY to pause the movie so neither of them missed anything. “It’s this concept here that everyone has sex on prom night. Like that’s the big thing in the media, that everyone who hasn’t already wants to lose their virginity on prom night. Never occurred to me growing up, but they always mentioned it on the big screen. So, on prom night since everyone’s having sex all the virgins are gone. Like the bank robbers, in and out. Gone quickly.” Y/N hopes that the explanation helped him understand better.

Thor nodded his head, turning his attention back to the film as it started back up. A couple more times he turned his head to look at Y/N, like he wants to ask more questions but she simply put a finger to her lips a silent way to tell him to be quiet. “Ask questions at the end, okay?” He nodded his head at her words, turning back to the film.

It’s clear he’s got questions and comments he wants to make, but he’s keeping quiet per her request. But his eyes have moments of clarity, like he’s taken note to mention a certain scene or line again later.

Thor is like Bodhi, Y/N realized throughout watching the movie, but it’s in the softer bits of this character. Bodhi may be a character who’s a bit too focused on his own goals and a bit headfirst--which is similar to the stories that Y/N had heard about Thor, God of Thunder, before he had been banished to Midgard and before everything essentially began--but there’s more complexities to his character as well. He’s not just the tough surfer guy, or the controlling my way or no way leader of his friend group. That’s not all, there’s his passion and his sensitivity. Bodhi understands what the world does and, though he views it in a skeptical and skewed way that he attempts to exploit for his own personal gain, he does understand it.

And there are bits of this character that are very much like the God sitting on the couch beside her. Both men have certain aspects of their character; a passion for something that cannot be contained, they value their friends ( their families ) lives above everything, they take control and can be a bit too full of themselves but never completely selfish, and they both have a way with words that astounds her at times. One quote of Bodhi’s in the film always sticks with her after rewatching the movie, even after all this time, “fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.”

However, Y/N can’t be sure that Thor’s similar look ( a similar hairstyle and some features, especially in the film ) to Patrick Swayze isn’t why Tony actually picked the nickname.

Finally, the movie came to a close and Y/N had FRIDAY turn off the television before she turned in her seat to face Thor fully. “Okay, now you may ask whatever, or make comments. But, please, before you start, I have no idea if this is how an actual agency does things. I’m only working with the Avengers as an assistant. The closest I get to any agents is when Fury called for Pepper and I had to tell him she had a meeting and needed to get back to him later. He’s kind of scary.”

That got a chuckle out of Thor, who sat up straighter on the couch and turned to face Y/N as well. He took a couple of moments to collect his thoughts before he started speaking, and they spent the next half an hour or more discussing the movie.

“So that Agent Utah just used her parents death? Pretended as though his were dead to get an in with her? Do agents really do that?”

“From what I’ve seen undercover can get you into deep shit.”

“Are you expected to not form genuine attachments on undercover missions? Should they not have seen this coming?” Y/N almost doesn’t expect this question, but then again Thor was never a SHIELD agent, so he wouldn’t know anything about undercover work. Y/N only knows the things she does from overhearing conversations, people telling her stories, or brief reports that have passed by her desk.

“I think the point is that you’re supposed to understand that at the end of the day it’s a job. But lines get blurred quickly when you’re in that position. That’s why I could never be an agent. I did think about it, especially when I got the job at Stark Industries. But instead I decided to stick to self defense and boxing lessons.”

“In that one scene, where Tyler finds out, she had never shot a weapon before, yes?”

“I don’t know. Probably not.”

“How could she know it wouldn’t hit him?”

“Thor, it’s a movie, not real life.”

“Do you know how to shoot a gun?”

“I’ve taken self defense since I started working here, I’ve trained with a couple of the agents. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I was unsatisfied with the ending.”

“What? That’s like the most satisfying ending they could have done!”

“But what about--”

Y/N’s cut Thor off, knowing what he’s going to say, “It’s not about her. It’s about them. They’re the main story. It’s about the fight between them. The struggle between doing what’s right and being too close to see straight.”

“But nothing’s resolved.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Surfing seems very interesting. I might like to try it someday. Have you ever tried it?”

“No chance in hell, I’m not coordinated enough for that. I’d be like Johnny the first time he’s out in the ocean, probably fall down and get lost in the waves.”

“Do you think Tony really thought the nickname through?” Thor asked Y/N after a particularly long silence.

Y/N’s shoulders shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe? He could also have thought you looked like Bodhi--Patrick Swayze. The hair and everything, like I said earlier, I can see the similarities.” she ruffled his hair slightly, though it was more like gently running her hand through the much shorter locks that he wore now. “Even now, I can see it.”

“What other films has he been in?”

“Oh, Patrick Swayze was in a ton of films. We could have a whole Swayze movie marathon, if you want.”

Thor considered this for a moment before nodding his head, “I’d enjoy that, Y/N.”

“Good, we can continue with The Outsiders!” Y/N grinned and turned toward the screen, already readying to call FRIDAY to get the other films queued up. Thor’s hand on her shoulder stopped her in her movements and she turned back to look at him. “What’s up?”

“Thank you.” He doesn’t elaborate on whether it’s thanks for showing him the film, or thanks for getting his mind off of everything going on in the world outside around them, but he doesn’t need to.

She understands.

She nodded her head back to him, curling back up on the couch in her original spot as she called FRIDAY to ready the next film for them.

And maybe, things would get better.

#thor x reader #thor odinson x reader #thor odinson x you #marvel reader insert #mcu reader insert

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princeyitz · 6 years ago

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[ loner | family oriented | lazy ]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG why r there so many questions </3

@viiavi tagged me(and mayb someone else??? i dont know tumblr notifs are awful)

uhhhmmm i tag @ratboysims @felicitum @bullsim @keysims @bratsims and uhhmmmmm any1 else that wants to do it just say i tag u

also here’s a bad edit of my simselfs outfit its cute and basically what i wear everyday gotta wear those nikes get some good ass arch support u feel me

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? byrd

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? byrdie, b

3. BIRTHDAY? june 3rd babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? harry potter

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye s

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i dont think i have one. picking faves for literature has always been hard for me

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? i listen 2 podcasts

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? ummm dark chocolate or mango

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? awesome

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? thank you next look its a good song ok

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? ridiculous but how my mom says it like a harry potter spell

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? ummmm something by halsey i think

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? im binge watching greys anatomy so that i guess but also my fave show of all time stargate

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? moana

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? failure

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i give good cuddles

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i have no patience and i worry too much

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? yes(dogs)

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yes! we’re getting married next october :-)

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? no responsibilities!!! no bills!!!! also my moms cooking

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? her name is lauren but also my fiance and my dog

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? dark green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my fam, my fiance, my dogs, my close friends

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my fiance 100%

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my parents i worry about their health and also my sister bc she’s in a new relationship

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? my sisters dog just had puppies so im excited to see them

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm rn sims

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? probably rugrats and also x files

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my dad

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? hell yes big time

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? well i still cant drive so like. driving i guess

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?uhhh behind i hate when others take pics of me lol

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? writing and simblr i guess

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? actually i think it was the adventure zone graphic novel does that count

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? the crimes of grindelwald

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can sing

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? owls

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i feel like im on the spot ummmmm @felicitum @keysims @smart--milk @surreysimmer @hesitantpixels

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? u ever seen heroes? remember how peter was like a sponge well i wish i could do that but with like, normal knowledge/skills. like if i met someone who was a carpenter or dr i could shake their hand and i knew everything they did about that and could learn new languages that way too. i wanna b a sponge

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my bed w my fiance and dogs in a cuddle pile

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? when we ask blu if she’s a sleepy baby and she tilts her head

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? none bitch

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? water all day every day im a camel hi

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? uhhh probably recently at work

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? as i get older yes

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when people talk down to me because of my identity or age

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yea!! the last one we went to was p!nk im pretty sure

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cardiologist

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? hmmmmmmmm probs harry potter tbh

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? money!!!!

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? yes and no

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yup!!! i dont sing as often as i used to tho its sad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? no

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? i really love big bear and catalina island

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? doesnt really matter as long as its not a big city and relatively close to family

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? we have 2 doggos

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? tbh i am a mix of both now, tho i used to be a night owl

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunset

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no :-)

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds sometimes headphones hurt my ears esp bc i always wear glasses

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yes and im getting war flashbacks

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? pretty much anything besides hardcore rap, country, and religious music, also nothing too poppy

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? probs my mama

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? ye

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when they only brew decaf at work

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? both

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? i really loved english

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? i have two brothers and two sisters

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? flowers for my mother in law

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′7″

75. CAN YOU COOK? yes

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? coffee, purple flowers, the lil potbellies that all puppies have

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? decaf coffee, peas, when people say my name wrong

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uhhh i guess just bc thats who im around more

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? gay af my dudes

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? i live in southern california

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my mom i think

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? a while ago

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? garrett watts is fun

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sure

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? digit it saves me money

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? im super close with my parents and relatively close w my fiances parents as well

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? hmmm probs middle eastern

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? seattle

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? lmao no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both but i tend to lean more towards the ocean

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? not at all im a chicken

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nope

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? y...es

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? n o?

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when i am wrong lol i dont care too much about being right

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest 100%

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? trust your instincts

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? hufflepuff

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? sometimes

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? v big introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? no

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? kind of

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? pick it up and return it to its owner

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes but they have to believe in it too

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes but u cant tell nobody knows ok thanks

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yeah they’re cool

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? my ears and my septum

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? sam carter from stargate shes smart

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yeah i have 10 i think

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? opening up to people

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? 110% yes

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? yeah i want 5 but i dont think i can afford that many someone start a gofundme for my future babeys

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my best friend

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i told my middle school crush that i liked her and then she told everyone and thats the story of how i repressed me sexuality until i was 20

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? many times

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yes but carefully planned and well thought out adventures where i have a checklist and a binder of all the information i need listen i am v anxious everything is scary

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? when i was a baby i was on the news lmao

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 25

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? to thine own self be true wow super lame and cliche thanks im tired is this done yet

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i dont have much of a sweet tooth

#tagged #about #simself #i stayed up past my bedtime to do this #im sleepy

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bansheesofinisherin2022 · 6 years ago

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tagged by @lclrgsl (Thank you, dear!!)

1. how tall are you? 162 cm!

2. what color and style is your hair? (Ashy*) brown and it depends on the day and how much/if I brush it - sometimes I have wavy, even curly hair and sometimes it almost looks straight.

*Yikes!

3. what color are your eyes? Dark brown!

4. do you wear glasses? No, I don’t.

5. do you wear braces? I used to (for about half a year). Now I’ve got Hawley retainers that I’m supposed to wear at night (fun fact: I don’t).

6. what is your fashion style? I don’t really have a “fashion style”, I mostly just wear either the most hideous (bright coloured/weird patterned shirts and jackets that don’t match at all) or the most comfortable (jeans, basic shirts, you know) clothing, sometimes both.

7. full name? Well,... no. You can call me Kai, though!

8. when were you born? Late 90s.

9. where are you from and where do you live now? I’m from a German city and now I live in another German city! Exciting! (/s)

10. what school do you go to? I’m going to university now.

11. what kind of student are you? A pretty lazy student who should probably study something else. I always make the wrong decisions.

12. do you like school? Sometimes. I love learning new things, discussing stuff and seeing my friends every day. But I absolutely loath studying and being afraid of saying something wrong.

13. what are your favorite school subjects?

I would say I like every subject to a certain degree but arts, history, biology, astronomy and languages were probably my favourite ones.

14. favorite TV shows? Mhh, that’s a hard question. Probably The X Files, Star Trek (TOS), Brooklyn 99, Psych, Midsomer Murders, Pushing Daisies and Please Like Me.

15. favorite movies? Oh, geez. I have too many!! It’s basically an endless list! ahgsfd

Pride and Prejudice, Pacific Rim, Moonlight, Billy Elliot, Into The Wild, What We Do In The Shadows, Spider-Man 2, Carol, Jurassic Park, The Empire Strikes Back, The Handmaiden, ....

16. favorite books? Oof,... Good Omens, The Great Gatsby, Northanger Abbey, Annihilation (to be honest, the entire Southern Reach Trilogy is perfect!), Inkheart (Tintenwelt-Trilogy, babey!), Howl’s Moving Castle and The Ocean At The End Of The Lane.

17. favorite pastime? Day-dreaming and exploring new areas.

18. do you have any regrets? A lot but I try to not let them tear me down.

19. dream job? Owner of a cosy bookshop.

20. would you like to get married someday? When I was younger I disliked the idea of getting married because it always felt so final; trapped with someone for the rest of my life. The older I get, the more I like the concept of marriage. Granted, not now or in the next five years - but maybe if I found the right person, maybe then.

21. would you like to have kids someday? I’m not sure because I never really thought about it. It seems so far away... It’s weird that some of my friends already want to have kids right now (ashdgjsghj?) because I don’t even feel emotionally ready for such a big step in life.

23. do you like shopping? Yes, mostly on my own and mostly just DVDs/CDs/books but if I know what I want even shopping for clothes can be quite fun!

24. what countries have you visited? Germany (duh), England, Poland, Iceland, The Czech Republic, The Netherlands, Belgium, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria, Canada, Estonia, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, Slovakia and France (although I was technically asleep 98% of the time).

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? Mhh, I’d rather not talk about it.

26. do you have any enemies? No - not yet, at least.

27. do you have an s/o?

Nope.

28. do you believe in miracles? Not per se. (Though I’d say I kinda believe in the paranormal or something like karma?? It’s hard to explain. Like, I wish there were ghosts and sometimes I believe sth happens for a reason but I don’t know enough to proof/dispute it. You know? Kinda like being an agnostic. You don’t really believe in the existence of god but you also don’t deny the possibilty of there being a godlike creature out somewhere. I think, it’s almost the same in statistics: If you can’t rule out a null hypothesis but you also can’t accept the alternative hypothesis, it doesn’t necessarily mean the null hypothesis is correct.)

tagging | (just ignore this, if you don’t to do it!) @shaggy-goblin, @roombagreyjoy, @zombieseamonster, @forevermorous, @tuesday-addams, @wynafryd-manderly, @vulcanvampire, @gallifreyan-wakandan, @spookyausten and @selftitledegomaniac. Oh, and @huntersatthedisco (Ich helfe dir auch gerne dabei!).

#tag game #p

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tjada-works-the-nightshift · 6 years ago

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Hello, again!!! It's your secret santa! I wanted to apologize that I've been so quiet for the past few days. I've been cramming for my finals, but they're over now and I'm ~officially~ on Christmas break!! I wanted to ask, what's your favorite character overall from any fandom and why? And you seemed like you liked horror a lot? What makes it so intriguing to you?

Hey you, no worries tumblr swallowed everything up in it's notes hole anyway 😂 lucky you! I have a Interview for a mini job tomorrow I'm slowly getting a bit nervous about. Oooooof overall???? Oh gosh.... over the years I've collected quite a few...hmmm.

I have three older brothers so the first years of my life I had absolutely zero control over the tv. That's why I mostly grew up with superheroes. We watched stuff like spiderman and friends, x-men animated, He-man and my fave batman: the animated series. So for characters I'd say Bruce Wayne (DC), Harleen Quinzel (DC), Jim Kirk( Star trek) Donna Noble (DW), Louis du point de Lac (Interview with the vampire) Seiya/Sailor starfighter (Sailor moon) . But my overall fave character....hmm. Harley Quinn I'd guess? Why I like her..... probably because of her intense emotions. I remember in High school always being one of the freaks and feeling so intensely sad or happy that it freaked me out. There is a lot of insecurity under that bleached hair and I always related to that I guess. And that feeling of wanting to please someone/the World who will not appreciate it anyways. I'd totally post pics of my Harley Quinn cosplay but I have no pics on my new phone right now 😗

I guess it sounds like I only watch/read dark stuff but I literally just watched "Dirty Dancing" and after that "Love, actually" yesterday 😅

I guess my mom is to blame for that. She's a big Alfred Hitchcock fan so of course I was named after the movie "Rebecca" which was quite creepy for a thriller in the 40s so I was off to a good start. Since we're german she also always read to me the original Grims fairytales (not the disney versions) which have a big amount of gore in it 😂

I grew up reading collections from Edward Gorey since my little hands could reach only limited stuff on the bookshelf and it had lots of illustrations. (If you dont know him look up The Object-Lesson, its my favourite) plus everyones obsession with R.L Stines Goosebumps contributed to that. Shows like the X-Files, Tales from the Crypt and Are you afraid of the dark? were also my brothers favourites so there you go 😉 but I'm also a fan of as my mom phrases it "a disgusting amount of musicals", a die-hard literature nerd, a mythology fan and in another life probably one of those female fantasy creatures that led men to their doom 😂 In other words I pretty much watch and read anything. But what are you into? You never answered that. (pics of an old and a new collection ⬇️)

#anon #personal

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somethingaboutamagpie · 7 years ago

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tagged by @flippyspoon

rules: tag 9 people with excellent taste

colour(s) I’m currently wearing:

An old black wrestling shirt with red and yellow design

black pajama pants

last band t-shirt I bought:

I think it was Ninja Sex Party/TWRP

last band I saw live:

NSP and TWRP back in November

last song I listened to:

Willingly? ‘Bad’ by The Cab, I think

lipstick or chapstick?:

lipstick. I have a weakness

last movie I watched:

Shut In (which was actually scary, I was surprised. Charlie Heaton did a great job!) and I’m watching Soldier’s Girl right now

last three tv shows I watched:

Forensic Files

Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

last three characters I identified with:

Tommy Oliver

Billy Hargrove (certain aspects of him at least? I relate to the temper and the outbursts, but not quite to his extremes?)

Wanda Maximoff (X-Men: Evolution version, for sure. She’s been an inspiration to my character for years)

book I’m currently reading:

I have so many I’m supposed to be reading...I’ve been paused on ‘Cursed’ by RL Stine for like 2 months because I haven’t felt like reading. I’m also in the middle of reading the Mighty Morphin’ comics

Tagging @benalras @thejackalxi @daysofblacksnow @skyhillian @heart-eyes-harrington @mijuku-dreamer @cojosweeps @americas-gayest-frenchman @justalittlebitspecial

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bughead-fic-request · 7 years ago

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I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @ficmuse work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

I post all of my work on AO3

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’ve been a writer and a poet since childhood. Professionally, I’ve worked for a major Internet service provider, been an executive secretary, made collections calls and even sold windows door to door. I just completed an art history Capstone in Roman and Greek art and am contemplating graduate school. I’m also a mom and a wife. I’ve worn a whole lot of hats in my life.

3. What do you never leave home without?

Something to read. I carry my Kindle in my purse. I read a lot of romance, mystery, and historical fiction.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Depends. If I’m really immersed in something I’m writing, I’ll pound the keys until 2 am or later. Ideally, I’m in bed by eleven.

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

Westeros! Ice zombies? Dragons? Bring it on.

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met.

I’m a fangirl with a travel budget, so I’ve met some actors from my various fandoms, including James Marsters from Buffy and William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy from Star Trek. I like attending conventions. I’ve met Charlaine Harris, one of my favorite authors. That was a big thrill, too.

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

TV: X-Files; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Friends. Movies: While You Were Sleeping; Fifth Elements; Pride and Prejudice (2005).

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

Music is a really important element of my life. I need music while writing, cooking, driving, you name it. My all time favorite bands include Coldplay, Depeche Mode, Garbage, and Muse. Musicians? Jeff Buckley, Leonard Cohen, Tori Amos, Sarah McLachlan.

9. Favorite Books?

Jane Austen; I waffle between Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion. Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire Mysteries. Dorothy Dunnett’s Lymond Chronicles. Dorothy Sayer’s Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries.

10. Favorite Food?

Any configuration of a potato. Baked; fried; mashed. I’m a potato fan.

11. Biggest pet peeve?

Passive aggressive people. Just tell me what I’ve done to piss you off and I’ll try to make it right. If you can’t do that, we’re at an impasse.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

I’ve always wanted to be a published author and that’s still my dream.

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

Oh, boy. I have a phobia about driving on the highway. It’s very weird. I’ve gone way the hell out of my way to take side roads instead of highways.

14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one you’d regret not doing?

When I was fifteen, I had the choice to go to boarding school in England. At the last minute, I backed out and went to a school in Pennsylvania instead. I really regret that; my whole life would have been on a different path.

Okay… lets talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

I’ve only written a few, but the BLT universe (Bizarre Love Triangle, Long Live Rock) is my baby. That’s my blood, sweat and tears, right there.

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

Fugue. The idea of Jughead as a murderer was so preposterous, I had to figure out a way to make it real and believable.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

I get inspired by music more than anything else. Usually, finding the right song is the key to unlocking a story for me. But it can be other things. I eavesdrop like crazy and I also am very moved by neon signs and photography. I often look at moodboards and listen to a fic specific soundtrack while I’m writing.

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

I’ve been writing a fic with Betty as the POV character. The plot is inspired by the movie Groundhog Day. She keeps repeating the same night over and over. It’s funny on film, but I think it’s too repetitive as a story. I haven’t given up on it yet, but it is really kicking my butt.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

Archie and Betty hooking up in Long Live Rock was just such a bummer.

20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

Jughead’s backstory about how he got his beanie in Bizarre Love Triangle.

21.Favorite character to write?

Jughead, for sure.

22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?

For Long Live Rock, I had to write a lot of song lyrics. I’m particularly fond of some I wrote for Jughead: Fortunes have been made and fortunes have been lost /Princes earning money by moving rocks Princesses waiting tables in a neon glow/What we had we'll find again and never let it go.

23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

I really love it when people just get so flipped out that they can’t even articulate their feelings and it’s a lot of capital letters and exclamation marks.

24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

Unfortunately, I have a thin skin. I can handle the occasional nasty comment, but when it’s message after message of people hating what you do, it’s demoralizing. My husband has repeatedly suggested not reading the comments on Ao3, but I feel an obligation to respond to each reader unless they are being a complete and utter asshat. The hate mail I received on Tumblr for parts of Long Live Rock was just unbelievable. That stuff, I just delete and try to ignore. That being said, constructive criticism is great. But that’s rare and far between. I get a lot of “this is great” or “I hate this with the fire of a thousand suns” and not much in the middle.

25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?

The inevitable typos that I can only notice after I post them. Each one causes me physical pain.

26. What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

My first real labor of love was a story called The Countess which was based on the BBC TV show of Robin Hood. I had a massive fangirl crush on the bad guy, Sir Guy of Gisborne. I shipped him with Maid Marian and despite the fact that she DIED, I still wanted a happy ending for my OTP. Did I mention that he killed her? Because that was the canon ending of that ship! So, I literally resurrected her, made the hero of the canon story the villain, and gave the full monty love story and a happy ending to Marian and Guy. It made my heart happy. It still does, because that canon just pissed me off to no end. One of the great joys of fan fiction is the ability to tell canon to go screw itself.

27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

I haven’t read much Bughead fic because it lessens my ability to get into the headspace of my own AU. However, I am fortunate to have a plethora of fic recommendations from my dear @jandjsalmon waiting for me. As for fiction, I am currently reading a historical mystery called Instruments of Darkness by Imogen Robertson.

28. Do you have an advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

Don’t be afraid that your work isn’t good enough. Your work is always better than you think it is! You are your own worst critic. Trust that there is an audience for every story. We are a very welcoming community and you are guaranteed to find someone who will appreciate the work of your imagination.

#bughead author spotlight #fan fiction #fan fiction writers #bughead fanfiction #Bughead #ao3 #betty cooper #jughead jones #jughead x betty #betty x jughead #riverdale #bizarre love triangle #long live rock #fugue #ficmuse

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tube-thoughts-blog · 7 years ago

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tube thoughts vol. 8

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

Kroll Show: Gigolo H-O-R-S-E *"Horse not whores."* 2 1/2 stars

Cinematic Titanic: "The Wasp Woman" a Roger Corman flick *"Anaphylactic schlock."* close to 3 stars with riffing 2 stars without

Max Headroom: Grossberg's Return *MTV Rocks the Vote for Hillary Clinton by getting its viewers to tune out and tune in to The Jersey Shore / Real World.* 2 1/2 stars

Blind Date (Deluxe Edition) *Raunchy reality show uncensored material and bloopers from the early 2000s. It's strange to see just how much the fashions have changed. That California douchebag & slut 'look' is a real time capsule (1998? - 2004?) of guilty pleasure to gawk at.* 2 1/2 stars

Swamp Thing: The Watcher *Redneck androids and a test tube Alice in Wonderland un-birthday.* 3 stars

Branson Famous: The Brangelina of Branson *In a town that's stuck in a rhinestone americana timewarp, a family of big haired and big belt buckle entertainers step all over each other in pointy boots in order to be the shining star in a fading industry of entertaining a dwindling crowd of retiree tourists.* 2 stars

==== My Big Redneck Family: Redneck Wedding

*Tater salad turned bad, but the "Shamepain" still tastes good, I guess.

Tom Arnold is giddy to host a reality show that's structured and shot like a sitcom similar to Modern Family.

The presentation isn't half bad, but it's the same lowest common denominator behavior for the camera and those tired, cliche confessionals that all reality shows are required to have.

At least Branson Famous is original in its confessionals which are tacky singing confessionals that turn into sing offs.

Also, I want to know how theme weddings like 'Redneck Weddings' are still considered to be traditional.

Sorry, queers, ya'll are weird, but cut off shorts, beer cans on the front row, and written vows about picking up tighty whiteys covered in trail marks so that the wife doesn't have to is considered a sacred ceremony.* sodomy or skidmarks I vote skid

2 stars

=============================================================

Newsreaders: How Sausage Is Made *A sausage making factory is turned into one of those pretentious millenials start up companies with a hilariously loose atmosphere, and it's visited and documented by a parody of one of those hipster nerd website's sexy cosplay chick who's one of those tries way too hard to be all about nerd culture wannabes. Also, Stevie, from Eastbound & Down, plays a lottery winner whose newly overly rich lifestyle makes him easy to despise.* 2 stars

X Files: Genderbender *The close knit community of Aphrodite and androgyne.* 3 stars

Hippies: Sexy Hippies *"I'm free. Nothin' worryin' me." Except for the fact that being a male, I think about sex every six seconds.* close to 3 stars

Impractical Jokers: Welcome to Miami *Beached Mer-man struggles in the sand for jelly donuts and an alligator is forced to wear a backpack.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Jonny Quest: The Calcutta Adventure *Jolly Jolly Hadji* 3 stars

Son of the Beach: Fanny and the Professor *"Touch my mouth, Louise!" Heatwave haywire.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Rinse Dream presents "Party Doll A Go-GO #2" (1991) *Jungle boogie sock-it-to-me shin-dig squeal flick.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Love Stinks --------------

*Nookie with no strings attached because Freddy cut them.* 3 stars

*Re-Animator as a yuppie pizza shop cannibal.* 3 stars

----------------------------------------------

"Meatballs Part 2" (1985) *PG rated sex comedy with E.T. and Pee Wee Herman.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: The Man Who Was Death *After his state overturns the death penalty, unemployed electric chair technician William Sadler takes his executioner's blues to the street.* 3 stars

Morton Downey Jr.: Child Abuse *Mort shows off his devilishly red socks and lets people pour their hearts out about that once dirty secret of the family that has come more to light in recent years as something not to hide.* 3 stars

"The Town That Dreaded Sundown" (2014) *Three different time periods entwined into a true crime homage to drive-in slasher movies like Friday the 13th part 2. It's not perfect, but it's prettier than a postcard with red eye gravy spilled over it. Did I say postcard? I meant porkchop. A porkchop with red eye gravy spilled over it. Well, maybe not that pretty. Porkchop, mmm.* close to 3 stars

From Dusk Till Dawn, the series: Pilot Episode *Aztecs, snakes, Geckos, demons, Texas Rangers, Mexican cartels, and last of all 21 year old white chicks (how and why did they escape so easy? makes little sense.).* between 2 and 2 1/2 and stars

Rifftrax presents "Terror At Tenkiller" *"More like timefiller at Tenkiller." Pointless small talk, routine walking and driving, mundane lake activity, creepy jerks, generic background music, plus slight instances of side-boob.* 3 stars with riffing 1 1/2 stars without

Tim & Eric - Bedtime Stories: Baby *The true horror is seeing Tim & Eric amuse themselves by getting odd looking middle-aged men to perform absurd fetish acts. Dr. Steve Brule's manchild cousin Jordan gets scammed by Tim & Eric, and Roseanne's Laurie Metcalf makes a show stealing cameo.* 2 stars

Finding Bigfoot: Paranormal Squatchtivity *Bobo, Ranae, and the other two dingbats travel to some isolated farms and woods in Pennsylvania that look straight out of Night of the Living Dead. They're searching not just for bigfoot, this time, but boo bumps in the night. They also make a sacrificial offer to the bigfoot by dumping bloody guts and powdered donut dust on a rock.* 1 star for the spook and squatch stuff 2 1/2 stars for the natural lighting, non-nightvision, picturesque shots of rural Pennsylvania

Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Lonely Ghost *An early 90s mallrat Tiffany look-a-like bullies her "zeeb" cousin and nanny and meangirls clique until an encounter with a ghost girl from a mirror world.* 3 stars

Gargoyles: Long Way To Morning *gumption versus grouse* 3 stars

Farscape: A Human Reaction *Chricton returns home and finds out he no longer has one.* 3 stars minus maybe 1/2 a star for the twist

Wizards and Warriors: The Kidnap *Black magic and royal blood should never mix.* 3 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: Root Of All Evil *Exchanging currency for blood.* 3 stars

"The Granny" a film by Luca Bercovici (1995) *Stinking rich Stella Stevens has one foot on a banana peel and is pushed into the grave by the greedy inheritors of her wealthy will. An elixir, with a set of instructions similar to the handling of Gremlins, turns her into an Evil Dead inspired demon bitch. It's up to her mousey granddaughter, played by Shannon Whirry (who struggles to hide how sexy she typically is), to send her back to Hell.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Hill Street Blues: Up In Arms *Citizens against crime. Battlefield lovers. Troublemakers on the 6 o'clock news. Criminal turned Christian. Nude model and her ferocious dog of a man. Corrupt cop killed by razor wielding hooker.* 3 stars

------- Black History Month -- Non-Wayans Scary Movie -------------------

"Tales from the Hood" (1995)

*Welcome to my Mortuary: Some homeboys make a pick up of alleyway discovered drugs at a spooky funeral home ran by an eccentric mortician.* 2 1/2 stars

*Rogue Cop Revelation: Wings Hauser and some other pig cops go Rodney King on a political agitator while Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit" plays as the soundtrack. Exactly one year later, the zombified martyr gets revenge.* 3 stars

*Boys Do Get Bruised: David Alan Grier as an extremely convincing and scary abusive stepfather.* close to 3 stars

*KKK Comeuppance: Voodoo dolls terrorize a racist politician at a cursed plantation. I couldn't help but laugh thinking of those Lil' Penny Hardaway doll commercials from the 90s.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hard Core Convert: A murderous gangbanger won't repent when a Maya Angelou type puts him through Clockwork Orange style therapy torture to get him to see he's killing his own kind in the same way white society lynched his ancestors. It does pose the question of whether it's strictly his fault, but I'm not sure if Spike Lee and others involved aren't suggesting that young black men should use violence on whites instead. There's a lot of venom and hatred and propaganda in this piece. Maybe rightfully so, maybe not.* either zero stars or close to 3 stars

*Mr. Simms: A Mexican standoff Day of the Dead style between the homeboys and the mortician who turns out to be Satan. Welcome to 90's terrible CGI hell, muthafuckas!* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

-------------------------------

Red Shoe Diaries: Just Like That *A cute receptionist, who likes to love it up in an elevator, tries to have it both ways with a rich French guy and a pre-Friends slumming it on softcore late night cable Matt LeBlanc.* close to 3 stars

Hannibal: Ceuf *"Norman Rockwell with a bullet." Hannibal Lecter with a daughter. Molly Shannon with a screw loose (not much of a stretch).* 3 stars

--- Duck Dynasty: Bathroom Baloney

*Outhouse racing, because "SOUTHERN!"

We used to not have indoor plumbing, ya'll.

It's pathetic what A & E will go to in order to justify an hour of tv filled with the stupid nonsense these jerks say.

It's all about those advertising dollars, and we morons who give them views.

They're supposed to be down to earth folk and manly men, but the one called Willie acts like he's never used a grill or stove, like most of his audience would have had to in their lives, when he burns his fingers and squeals like a girl as he ineptly cooks balogna.

Balogna, a cheap and overly processed lunchmeat that has been a part of the diet of that America that they're so quick to latch onto, but most of this millionaire family turns their nose up at the idea of having to eat.

Duck Dynasty, a brand and a family that sell their garbage merchandise at a company (Wal-Mart) that ripped the heart, balls, and innards (all that would go into balogna) out of American smalltown business folk and replaced it with cheap Chinese manufactured goods and sent jobs overseas so that Duck Dynasty's main audience would have to be poor and eat balogna.

Sing it with me, for the land of the freeee and we used to live in caves...*

running from zero to 1 star

==================================================================

Weird Science: Airball Kings *Gary got game.* 3 stars

15 Storeys High: Ice Queen *God gave us gas.* close to 3 stars

Game of Thrones: season 3 episode 8 *Lambs seeing the dagger.* 3 stars

"Here Comes The Devil" (2012) *The Kids Aren't Alright after a truckstop Picnic At Hanging Rock.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars or 1 1/2 stars for the awkward and amateurish dubbing. The English speaking voice actors are so bland that they drain the passion out of the Spanish actors' performances.

American Horror Story: Asylum "The Name Game" *Rare birds Roche limit.* 3 stars or 1 star for the Glee style musical number

American Horror Story: Coven "The Axeman Cometh" *Ouija (weegee) and all that j-a-z-z.* 3 stars

"House of Dreams" an adult film by Andrew Blake (1990) *Splooge on the foot of a model wearing expensive high heels in one of those new age architectured Malibu beach mansions captured by an expensive perfume high-art pretentious photographer while a Pure Moods cd plays on a thousand dollar plus stereo system.* 2 1/2 stars

----- Black History Month -- Genre Crossover Bad Movie ------------

Cinematic Titanic presents "East Meets Watts" *"Fact: drugs IS comin' into the ghett-toe." but so IS "Rock 'em sock 'em mofos." And "You can tell by the clothes that they're wearing, that it's a fine line between Kung Fu & Disco."* 3 stars with riffing between 1 1/2 and 2 stars without

-----------------------

The Prisoner: Many Happy Returns *Number 6 becomes The Omega Man, Castaway, Bourne, The Fugitive, Top Gun, and then Total Recall'd.* 3 stars

Richard Linklater's "Waking Life" (2001) *"Let's have a *in quotes* Holy Moment."* either close to 2 1/2 stars if you're open to interesting thinking about life or 1 star if you're annoyed by pretentious people talking out of their ass about philosophy...

Bob and Margaret: Love's Labours Lost *Bob pines over his snotty secretary.* close to 3 stars

Northern Exposure: Soapy Sanderson *"Singing your own song," even if it's a murder ballad.* 3 stars

Fargo: A Muddy Road *Orthodox spiders.* 3 stars

X Files: Lazarus *Scully's old flame is shot and smolders out, at the same time as his Clyde Barrow type suspect suffers the same fate. The suspect's spirit snakes into Scully's flame's body and goes on the hunt for his Bonnie.* close to 3 stars

"The Taking Of Deborah Logan" (2014) *The Exorcism of Martha Stewart. Wow, a found footage flick with mostly sympathetic characters, an actual story, creepy scares, and somewhat decent editing.* close to 3 stars minus 1/2 a star for the vomit vision shaking cam finale. I don't know why this generation has such a hard-on for found footage. It doesn't make fiction more realistic, it just makes it more painful to try to watch.

Stephen King's "Kingdom Hospital": season 1 episode 8 *We didn't start the fire.* 3 stars

"Inferno" a film by Dario Argento (1980) *Like a cat on hot bricks.* 2 1/2 stars

Manimal: Night of the Scorpion *Caper in the Caribbean.* 3 stars

Rifftrax presents "R.O.T.O.R." *Imagine Alex Murphy replaced by Jeff Foxworthy.* 3 stars with riffing 2 stars without

Thundarr the Barbarian: City of Evil *Civilization ends in 1994, and a world of sci fi and fantasy emerges. So, it's like Mike Judge meets Jack Kirby.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: The Voice Of Reason *A paranoid paranormal conspiracy theorist gets a closed door intelligence session with govt officials, where he shows off alien events from the first season of the new outer limits.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Son of the Beach: Eat My Muffin *Luke Skywalker as "Divine" Rod.* 3 stars

Everything Is Terrible -------------------

2 Minute Slaughterhouse Rock: "Death ain't shit. Impress me." - 2 1/2 stars

3 Minute Mankillers: "Ladies, and I use that term loosely." Acting, and I use that term loosely. - 3 stars

Pregnant Men!: "I rolled over and went back to sleep." - 3 stars

Out of the Wild: Teddy bears and Werner Herzog. - close to 3 stars

Ninja Magic Dragon Kid!: "Do you know Don 'The Dragon' Wilson?" Well, he's barely in this, but there's this 12 year old who does karate... - 3 stars

-----------------------

The Ben Stiller Show: season 1 episode 1 *Bono for breakfast. Judd Apatow, Bob Odenkirk, and others help make this one of the best, and sadly forgotten, sketch shows of all time.* 3 stars

--- Black History Month -- Social Justice zombie classic with commentary ----

Rifftrax presents George Romero's original "Night of the Living Dead" *Apocalypse and Arby's.* 3 plus stars with riffing 3 stars without

---------------------

American Gothic: Meet the Beetles *Sheriff Buck versus Bruce Campbell.* 3 stars

The Greatest American Hero: Here's Looking At You, Kid *Vanishing act with top secret space age equipment. Vanishing act, when it comes time to meet the girlfriend's parents.* close to 3 stars

---- Black History Month --- Social Satire movie ---

"CSA - The Confederate States of America" *Slavery, for an economically strong and stable society.* either zero stars or 3 stars

----------

American Horror Story: Freakshow "Show Stoppers" *Cooped up rage.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story: Freakshow "Curtain Call" *This series whimpers to a close like a sad gypsy's fart or a tired hobo's bugle.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Forever Knight: Dark Knight part 1 & 2 *Highlander meets the dawn of Seattle grunge meets Kolchak, the Night Stalker meets MTV's The Maxx.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Dig That Cat... He's Real Gone *"Dying for dollars." A death defying Houdini act where death isn't actually defied.* 3 stars

"Bad Girls" (1994) *Casserole western. At least Geena Davis isn't the lead.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

--- Everything Is Terrible ----

Camel Club Network: Joe Camel in tha nightclub. - 3 stars

You're A Hypocrite!: Grumpy theology getting off point and no fun. - 1 star

Watch the Jello Wiggle!: Thirty somethings determine the Teen Set. - 3 stars

Y'Know: No, I don't know, evangelical and or motivational white lady. - 2 1/2 stars

Truth or Dare: A deadly game for unstable yuppies.* 3 stars

--------

Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Sorcerer's Apprentice *Canadian junior high kids go "goth" over a Babylonian snake god.* 2 1/2 stars

--- Black History Month -- Prejudice Philosophy flick ---

Sam Fuller's "White Dog" (1982) *"Cure or kill the sickness."* either zero or 3 stars

---------

Morton Downey Jr.: Communism *Loudmouths, intelligence agents, government (U.S. & the U.S.S.R.) sponsored military groups in 3rd world hot-spots, and last of all "TRAITORS!"* 1 star

12:01 Beyond: Illegal Aliens ---------

*A man and his dog, living alone in the desert, are abducted by a ufo. that or the dog is an alien or becomes an alien?* close to 3 stars

*VHS quality trailer for the new War of the Worlds (not Spielberg / Cruise).* 3 stars

*TV rip promo for CBS showing of Sigourney Weaver in ALIENS.* 3 stars

*Mr. Lobo rambles about ancient alien conspiracy theories while an alien fires a electricity blaster behind him.* 3 stars

*Famous Studios' Superman in "Showdown": Superman framed with impostor.* 3 stars

*VHS quality rip trailer for the movie Hangar 18.* 3 stars

*TV quality rip for "Magic" 92 FM radio "The Superstar Space Cruiser" of radio stations playing classic rock albums.* 3 stars

*'The Tony Tomato Show' presents Heil Hipster performing in a Weezer 'Buddy Holly' esque music video.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*VHS quality rip trailer for "Moon Trap." Killer lunar robots and Bruce Campbell.* 3 stars

*TV quality rip for an 1980s NYC Manhattan comic convention featuring a lot of classic Sci-Fi alien comic books.* 3 stars

*Ninja the Mission Force - Citizen Ninja: No rest for the Ninja. Not even a playground picnic.* close to 3 stars

*TV / VHS quality neon lazer graphics advertisement for Rochester's 95FM BBF.* 3 stars

*TV/VHS quality rip for an old 80s DR. Pepper commercial where a cowboy walks into a space bar cantina filled with alien puppetry creatures and orders a tall one. That is a Dr. Pepper.* 3 stars

*The "Saint of Insomniacs" Mr. Lobo sits by a Tesla type machine and greets a scary looking alien creature who is into probing.* 3 stars

*(feature movie) Cannon films presents - "Alien Contamination": Explosive xenomorph eggs, and a cyclops tentacle creature, in an exploitation flick.* 2 1/2 stars

*Vintage UHF tv advertisement for channel 6 XETV promoting 5, count 'em 5, classic episodes of the original Star Trek tv series.* 3 stars

*Vintage Fox tv affiliate WPGH channel 53 and its promotion of Alien Nation, the series' upcoming episode.* 3 star

*Vintage tv commercial for the OMNI sci fi "fact and fiction" magazine.* 3 stars

*Republic Pictures serial The Crimson Ghost in The Laughing Skull: Heavy water has leaks.* 2 1/2 stars

*Mr. Lobo may have been probed and payed 20 dollars for it.* 2 1/2 stars

*Grindhouse trailer for the flying frisbee alien leeches flick "It Came Without Warning."* 3 stars

*TV/VHS rip quality commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper featuring a Will Forte look alike living in a Raising Arizona / Joe Bob Briggs style trailer park with his sweetie and having a close encounter.* close to 3 stars

*Zolar X - Timeless (music video): The Ramones meets Mork & Mindy.* 2 1/2 stars

*Thumb Snatchers from the Moon Coccoon: Stop motion short about opposable thumb hatin' robot aliens and a Texas cow munching cowboy sheriff squaring off.* close to 3 stars

------------------

Cinematic Titanic: The Alien Factor *"Pissing Skittles."* 2 1/2 stars with riffing 1 star without

Everything is Terrible ----

*The Stinger: Pontiac feels that modern car concepts should be "wacky," "funky," filled with useless gadgets, and cost 2 million dollars to create.* close to 3 stars

*The Old New Age!: Puffy clouds and PBS philosophy / aesthetics / tunes.* 3 stars

*That Doll Looks Like Your Daughter!: Wholesome, loving, lifeless, and that uncanny valley...* 3 stars

*Reppies Agenda Revealed: Let's make a rainbow and do the electric slide, all for the glory of our New World Order overlords.* 2 1/2 stars

*Bully Bustin': "Sometimes, you gotta smack somebody."* 3 stars

-----------

USA Up All Night with host Rhonda Shear presents "Porky's 2" ----

*Win a piece of Rhonda's horrible (looks fingerpainted) artwork. Ha.* 3 stars

*Rhonda laments the flow of her particular pink piece of artwork.* close to 3 stars

*An operatic Korbel champagne commercial showing picturesque American life. yeah, maybe if you're drunk on Korbel.* 2 stars

*Turtle Wax magic and science to help shine your convertible using "science and magic." Available at K-Mart.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hurry to Sears for a 3 day paint sale.* 2 stars

*1 800 Collect will help you save on collect calls and it somehow helps a generic fake Yankee baseball player rob a homerun "Whatta save!"* close to 2 1/2 stars

*"Before Arnold, before Stallone, there was Skywalker." USA is showing the original Star Wars 8 / 7 central.* 3 stars

*Rhonda daydreams about 1950s romantic lifestyles and compares it to the 90s where she can't get a date, because all the guys are on dates with each other. Then, she reads fan mail about how much sexual energy she puts into her paintings, then she gives that painting away to said horny fan.* 3 stars

*Rhonda makes fun of male pushups in Porky's 2 as being "safe sex" and she shows off a horribly drawn portrait of her house with dog poop on the lawn.* 3 stars

*Rhonda cools off with a Snapple in a cheaply produced Snapple promo.* 2 1/2 stars

*Bluesy 90s slickly produced Greyhound bus travel commercial. I've taken a Greyhound bus trip. It's nowhere near this glamorous. It stinks, actually.* 2 1/2 stars

*The host of MTV Sports (whose name escapes me) is with Arnold in a Burger King BK TeeVee advertisement for the Summer of 93's biggest blockbuster "Last Action Hero."* close to 3 stars

*While a mom does some home repair, a toddler has a horrible gasoline accident and is shown in the hospital burn unit covered in bandages in one of those awful scary as shit PSA announcements from back in the day.* 3 stars

*GNC the authority on getting musclehead gym rats hooked on supplement taking pill addictions.* 2 star

*"Ever been curious about Hollywood girls?" Well, these babes dance luridly on the hosed down concrete floor of a large suburban downtown flat while dressed in leather and 60s biker hats in this phone sex 1 900 950 WILD commercial.* 3 stars

*Next is yet another phone sex commercial with girls looking straight out of Beverly Hills 90210. Wowza.* 3 stars

*Rhonda shows a classic "cut scene" from the Wizard of Oz "Suck my wand!" that just happens to have made it into Porky's 2. And Rhonda reads another fan letter in it which she continues to win over the hearts and views of fans for her offbeat sense of humor.* 3 stars

*Rhonda makes fishy faces with her self portrait.* close to 3 stars

*Then a hypnotic bumper with Rhonda twirling against a starlit background while wearing a one piece swimsuit / aerobics outfits. Wowza.* 3 stars

*never park your car without the CLUB anti-auto-theft device, especially if you live in a Texas Mexico bordertown. Ha. Whatever happened to those? I guess thieves figured out a way around the device.* 2 1/2 stars

*Beautiful, portrait pretty mornings begin at 8, that is Super 8 motel, and that is also if you're a yuppie business man driving around the backcountry (what business is there out there?) with a cup of steaming hot coffee on top of your Ford Taurus rental car.* 2 1/2 stars

*Murphy Brown is smart, right? I mean... she does have her own witty tv sitcom... and she is spokeswomanperson for SPRINT long distance in this big budget commercial with 90s quirky aesthetics featuring the tops of bald mens' heads with cartoon floating graphics and a thinktank lab with a huge brain in a robotic device... huh?* 2 1/2 stars

*"What could be worse than the cost of a yeast infection? How about the cost of curing it?" Femcare for the cheap lady with downstairs troubles. Wow, did women really skip feminine healthcare because of high cost? Glad I was too young to experience the joys of a woman back then.* 2 1/2 stars for weirdness

*A leading zooologist explains the difference between sparkling polar bears (ones who ice skate in a skirt) and sparkling rootbeer cream soda A & W rootbeer.* 3 stars

*After a terrorist strikes... Silk Stalkings on USA.* close to 3 stars

*Sean Connery is a space cowboy... high noon in outerspace... Outland on USA.* 3 stars

*Rhonda's factoid of the week: close to 3 million gallons of oil produced in America, almost enough to style Jerry Lewis's hair.* 2 stars

*No touch tire care in a can really frustrates blue collar motorheads.* 2 stars

*"There's nothing worse than a foul smelling pair of shoes?" Wait, what about yeast infections? Odor Eaters knocks the skunk right out (literally) of a pair of old men's dress shoes.* 3 stars

*Tri Star pictures presents Weekend at Bernies 2, starting July 9th, 1993.* 3 stars

*"Even the best need attention, know what I mean?" So says a blonde skank on a cheap looking phone sex advertisement.* 2 1/2 stars

*Sluts "love sharing secrets" on another phone sex ad. Now, they just share selfies and butt in mirror photos on twitter / instagram and it doesn't cost 3 dollars a minute.* 2 1/2 stars

*Patty and her orangutan pal Roger try little Caesar's pizza and spaghetti.* 3 stars

*Tough actin' Tinactin for CGI fungal fires on the feet of jocks.* 2 stars

*"America's hot new number, 1 800 Collect." they've even replaced the Hollywood sign with a 1 800 Collect Sign. Boy, will they feel dumb, when they realize no one uses collect calls anymore. Everyone has a wireless plan. Dumb, 1993, get with the times, already.* 2 stars

*Rhonda gives away a foot sculpture to a female fan wanting it for her husband's office. I guess her husband, Al, has a foot fetish.* 2 stars

*Live & Loud Ozzy's new album straight from his 92 tour available at Record Town and Tape World.* 2 1/2 stars

*30 something moms in party cowboy hats use Suave miracle anti-perspirant to survive their rowdy munchkin kids' birthday parties.* 2 1/2 stars

*Nintendo's Kirby comes from Dreamland to the real world to prove that he's "One Tough Cream Puff" in an awesomely animated into live action commercial.* 3 stars

*"It's never too late for an intimate phone adventure." So, dude, bro, pick up your oversized cordless house phone with the extra long antenna and dial up some horny chicks for only 3 bucks a minute, man.* 3 stars

*Rhonda hangs out with her Bart Simpson doll and shows off her "Bart art".* 3 stars

*Models, on a beach, have lips that need protection from the sun's harsh rays. So, they use Blistex. But, they probably should get out of the sun, because they all look so dark that they probably have skin cancer already.* 2 stars

*"Continuous Action Formula!" soft & dri super solid lady deoderant will have the fellas fawning over any high class city chick.* 3 stars

*A sign language lady uses conceal and heal wart remover.* 2 1/2 stars

*"If you use gasoline the wrong way, your dreams will go up and smoke." Your kids will die as it's put in another scary gasoline fire PSA. Was there this huge problem with misuse of gasoline back in the 80s and 90s? Sheesh!* 3 STARS

*A soft saxophone, a tropical window scene with flowing curtains in the wind, and a creepy narrator on camera, in a white tuxedo, let's us know about Eve and her need to forget, which she can't do, on EDEN coming to USA....* close to 3 stars

*Rhonda is sad to say that Robert DeNiro isn't in Porky's.* 2 stars

*Rhonda really doesn't like Porky's 2 and recommends that if you wanna watch Porky's 3, then rent Porky's 1 and change the number.* 2 1/2 stars

*And finally to get to the actual film presentation... for this chopped and censored to the point of little coherency comedy...* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

---------------

Son of the Beach: Miso Honei *Pink beam at Point Break.* 2 1/2 stars

--- Black History Month -- Inter-racial Adult Art Film --

Dark Bros. presents "Black Throat" *A dumbass honky, a new-wave negro pimp, and a trash-talkin' plastic rat go on the hunt for an expert fellatio hoe named "Madame Mambo."* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

--------

From Dusk Till Dawn: Blood Runs Thick *The original was a good movie, but it could have used a 14 year old girl's i-phone conversation with her boyfriend, an unintentionally funny fist fight between the Gecko brothers, rice-milk refreshment breaks, and cute pink bunny accessories to remind one of just how sweet having a daughter can be... oh, also Fez, from That 70s Show, dressed up like Kool Moe D in Wild Wild West.* 2 stars

Kung Fu: An Eye For An Eye *A woman's right to choose death. Honestly, however, a thoughtful commentary on revenge.* 3 stars

The Walking Dead: What Happened.... *Swing low, sweet chariot.* 3 stars

Everything is Terrible -----

*Aerobic Self Defense: Don't be a victim, attack from the rear.* 3 stars

*Time to get it on, T. Bone: Sidney Party Yeah Uh... or however you spell and pronounce Sidney Pottier.* close to 3 stars

*Tax Day!: I'm not sayin' that we should be anarchists, I'm just sayin' we should commit anarchy.* 3 stars

*Oldies vs. Hippies!: The early bird gets stoned.* close to 3 stars

*Mark of the beast: Government is evil, ignore the patriotic background music. Worldly goods are fleeting, seek salvation, and send us your money.* 3 stars

---------

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Painted Hills *Chewin' the scenery with Lassie.* 3 stars with riffing 2 stars without

--- Black History Month -- Black Cowboy Cinema ---

Fred Williamson in "Joshua" (1976) *Who is Joshua? to quote Joshua, "I'm my mother's son." Some bandits make the mistake of shooting his mama, in the back, before Joshua can reunite with her after the Civil War.* 2 1/2 stars

--------------

William Friedkin's "Sorcerer" (1977) *No futuro without risk.* 3 stars

"Glengarry Glen Ross" (1992) *Close the deal, you expletive-expletive-expletive...* 3 stars

X Files: Young At Heart *The curious case of Spooky Mulder.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

The Ben Stiller Show: Season 1 episode 2 *20 so years later, and Nick Kroll has almost the exact same show.* 2 1/2 stars

Everything is Terrible ----

*Learn to Fly: self levitate the expert way.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Hunks Hunks Hunks!: "Smell the protein in this room."* either 1 star or close to 3 stars

*Here's How!: to be a show off.* 2 stars

*Greatest Song Ever Sung: Kathie Lee cares about the kids of genocide. Well, just kids in general, they sure are cute. Fuck adults in need, they're not as cute. Jesus was a kid too ya know. He was cute, too. "Like one of us," as a kid, but way cuter.* either zero stars or 2 1/2 stars

*4 Minute - The Alien Agenda - Endangered Species: Vote for Pedro for president of the X Files fan club.* 3 stars

----------

Viper: Ghosts *Reformed criminals, the paralyzed, holograms, and future cars -more than meets the eye.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"John Wick" (2014) *"Everything has a price," but good action / fight choreography and a dead wife's puppy are priceless.* 3 stars

Hannibal: Coquilles *About as much fun as a tumor.* zero stars

American Horror Story: Coven "The Dead" *Satisfaction.* 2 1/2 stars

Black Sails: Season 1 episode 3 *Ship without a captain.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Magic Voyage of Sinbad *"There goes a stupid, stupid man." Fake Sinbad, the father of modern socialism.* close to 2 stars with riffing between 1/2 and 1 star without

Rinse Dream presents "Cafe Flesh" (1982) *"A tableau of desire in decline." The perfect mindfuck Dear John paranoid love letter from the dawn of the AIDS-HIV era to the end of the 'Free Love' era.* 3 stars

True Detective: Who Goes There? *She done gone. Tyrone. Drugged out, deep cover.* 3 stars

Crossballs, the debate show: Reality TV No Survivors *"They fall in love in a hot tub, just like us."* 3 stars

Channel 4 in the U.K. presents Ban This Filth: episode 1 *Prudish, old ladies -the purveyors and "haters" (a term that I despise) of perverted behavior.* close to 3 stars

David Fincher's "Gone Girl" (2014) *An ode to the psychotic climate of hysteria caused by media jackals like Nancy Grace.* 3 stars

The Ben Stiller Show: season 1 episode 3 *To boldly go where Bruce Springsteen has never gone before.* 2 1/2 stars

Justified: season 1 episode 3 *"Seems like everyone here is from someplace else."* close to 3 stars

Swamp Thing: The Hunt *A rolling stone gathers some moss.* close to 2 1/2 stars

"Johnny Dangerously" *An exciting age of criminality.* 3 stars

Everything is Terrible ----

*Dana Carvey Is Rolling Over In His Grave: Have mercy, Church Lady.* 2 1/2 stars

*Creep Scientist Fantasy Karaoke: "It's nice to remember." Just don't make it weird.* close to 3 stars

*Cookin' Up Profits!: Elderly ladies are pie baking and financial experts.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*Christian Puppets Are Selfish: Share everything, including yourself, with stuffed animal puppets of the faith.* 2 1/2 stars

*BEV!: "She'll kill us." during our middle aged lady step aerobic workout.* 3 stars

---------

Thundarr the Barbarian: Last Train To Doomsday *Can't keep a Gemini wizard under wraps. Plus, 1960s Marvel comic books become an instructional handbook for sorcery weirdos of the post-apocalypse.* 3 stars

Weird Science: Party High USA *School curriculum for those willing to stay stupid or hoping to become scumbags.* 2 1/2 stars

Max Headroom: Dream Thieves *In an age where people trade their dreams for dreams, Swamp Thing's Arcane is also an old friend / rival of Edison Carter.* 3 stars

"A Scanner Darkly" (2006) *We're all trying to escape, and we're all unknowingly being observed while trying. That's when we're unwittingly put to uses.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Night Stand with Dick Dietrick--- (1996)

*Fashion VIctims - Lowering High Fashion Standards: Getting heavy with emaciated models.* close to 2 1/2 stars for the topic's performance 3 stars for Timothy Stack's jokes

*Secret Lives... Exposing Ourselves: Hot For Teacher - A teacher moonlights as a porn star. "Say it loud, I'm practically black and I'm proud." - A light skinned black man is shocked to discover that he's half black and not Italian. The Perfect Mom & Dad turn out to be Dad & Mom* close to 3 stars

-------

Mortal Kombat - Legacy: Jax, Sonya, and Kano *TEST YOUR MIGHT at the Ace Chemicals / Skynet factory.* 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Safe Sex ----

*A picky dweeb's Satanic attraction and death by wet dream.* 3 stars

*An outcast chick's obsession with Freddy goes too far.* 3 stars

------

American Horror Story: Murder House "Smoldering Children" *Familial putridity.* close to 3 stars

X Files: E.B.E. *Piss up an Idian rope trick. There's an 18 wheeler causing alien confusion as it travels a shadowy path across America.* 3 stars

From Dusk Till Dawn, the series: Mistress *Harbingers, whore offerings, and head-shrinking.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Banshee: season 1 episode 1 *A raccoon running from a rabbit. A -just out of prison- thief steals the identity of a deceased new sheriff to a Walking Tall type backwoods corrupt town.* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Coven "The Sacred Taking" *Thrill rides, terminal goodbyes, two way roads, and tingles of the cooch.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Red Shoe Diaries: Another Woman's Lipstick *Girl in guy drag and a David Lynch inspired striptease.* 3 stars

---- Valentine's Three Way Movie Feature ---

John Cassavetes in "Incubus" (1982) *Try a little tenderness. Try a little cursed bestiality.* 3 stars

Paul Verhoeven's "Basic Instinct" (1992) *Torrid 90s trash revisited.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

Michael Ninn's "Fade to Blue" *Get 'yer kicks on Route 66. It's a stylized xxx religious experience.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

-----------

Werner Herzog's "Lessons of Darkness" (1992) *Scorched earth war disgrace, the Book of Revelation, and fossil fuel drudgery, danger, madness -all from an alien perspective.* 3 stars

Stephen King's "Storm of the Century" (mini-series) *Born in sin, the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore, come on in.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Fargo: Eating the Blame *Greenbacks, grasshoppers, gospel, and the gristle of a riddle.* 3 stars

"Winter People" (1988) *Milk, honey, and time a flowin.' Kurt Russell plays against type as a gentle clockmaker / Ichabod Crane type in a Hatfields & McCoys style hillbilly period piece.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Cinematic Titanic: Legacy of Blood *"Tijuana snuff films are more wholesome."* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars with riffing close to 2 stars without riffing

Son of the Beach: South of Her Border *Labia & Johnson. Erik Estrada & Marsha Brady.* close to 3 stars (despite all the stale bean fart jokes, it manages to be funny)

Northern Exposure: Dreams, Schemes, and Putting Greens *"Wine 'em, dine 'em, stick 'em with the tab." ... or leave 'em standing in the rain at the 18th hole... or leave 'em standing at the altar singing showtunes.* 3 stars

Everything Is Terrible ----

Freedom Song: Show us yer tits fer freedom.* 3 stars

Fiddlin' With My...: Would you rather be in Branson with Shoji or would you rather be a mule?* 3 stars

Dreaming of Foxy Boxing: That cloud looks like a cat fight.* close to 3 stars

Dinner With The Abortionists!: "Ask your wife." quoting a slimeball abortion performing doctor.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

The Lottery Guru!: Hint, hint, you'll never win the lottery. Hint, hint, invest in firearms.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

------

Night Stand with Dick Dietrick ---

Illegal Aliens Star Search: Immigrant talent show for the prize of a green card.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars (3 plus stars for the Phil Hartman cameo)

Hooked on Hookers: Sexy Social Outrage.* close to 3 stars

------

Crossballs, the debate show: American Driving, Carmageddon *Defensive drivers on the defensive against aggressive comedians.* 3 stars

"Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" (1991) *"Come on and take a free ride." - John the Baptist $T.M.$ If they make this movie for the millenial generation, it will be called 'Rob Dyrdek and the Starbucks Person,' and it will pack a limp wristed punch.* 2 1/2 stars

Hill Street Blues: Your Kind, My Kind, Humankind *Being true to one's self and the team.* 3 stars

The Walking Dead: Them *A deathdream last episode and now this episode has an exhaustion zombie fight, a pack of wild dogs, worm eating & dog eating, mysterious note and a gift of water at the point of dehydration, a backroad tornado out of nowhere, solace in a shack in the middle of nowhere, and a zombie siege on the shack that seemed to spell the end of everyone in the group (which turns out to be a dream? or did they all just die?). This second half of the season is taking a turn into surreal southern gothic.* 3 stars

"In Cold Blood" (1967) *The point in modern America where we all took a dreaded detour into a conscience of indifferent malice that we've been driving on ever since.* 3 stars

"Nightcrawler" (2014) *Hollywood really wants us to sympathize with their paparazzi plight. A success driven psycho is nihilistic about bringing skid row sensationalism to the Southern California suburban news market.* close to 3 stars

The Ben Stiller Show: Season 1 Episode 4 *Melrose changes people. Ben finds out this when Andy Dick turns into a hipster bitch on the back of a biker dyke's harley.* 3 stars

--- Black History Month --- Cultural Cliches Comedy ----

Melvin and Mario Van Peebles present "Identity Crisis" (1989) *Gianni Versace is my homeboy. Rest in peace, my gay nigga.* close to 2 stars

------

Ban This Filth: episode 2 *"I would rather live in a vast, treeless desert without filth."* 2 1/2 stars

Hippies: Hippy Dippy Hippies *"Painting the house of ideas, shit brown," like a pig would.* 3 stars

"The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue" a Gerard Damiano xxx film (1980) *In the future, in the ruins of a space age commune, survivors hump, day & night, like bunny astronauts. They have this calculator connected to the future internet, and surprise the internet is mostly for sex, where they can dial up and beam up "satisfiers" to fulfill their every sexual need. But is it enough?* 2 1/2 stars

Farscape: Through The Looking Glass *3, 5, prime. Red, yellow, blue. Dizzy, loud, and funny too.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Wizards and Warriors: The Rescue *"I wouldn't want to fight a dragon that I could see, let alone an invisible dragon." Yeah, that's right, an invisible dragon.* 3 stars

Cinematic Titanic: Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks *"It's like Clint Howard and Gentle Ben had a kid, and he's choking me!" It's also like Eegah! meets The Sinful Dwarf.* 3 stars with riffing between 2 and 2 1/2 stars without

American Horror Story: Asylum "Spilt Milk" *Nursing a grudge.* close to 3 stars

"The Babysitter's Club Video #1 Mary Anne and the Brunettes" (1990) *Scholastic and craptastic. Mommy / gossip / relationship training for young chicks who can't even get their darn ears pierced. Weird to see so many kids and zero adults in this Charlie Brown / Children of the Corn town.* 1 star

Jr. Christian Science Vol. 1 *One of Tim & Eric's weirdo friends hosts an early 90s public access educational children's show. A chore to sit through, but almost worth it for the moments where he loses his cool when the production doesn't go exactly his way, and it features some of the most awkward singing and puppetry ever combined.* 1 star

Mortal Kombat - Legacy: Johnny Cage *True Hollywood story, death of the action star.* 2 1/2 stars

"Constantine" (2005) *Keanu Reeves as a wanker. Shy LePoof as a hardnosed cabbie sidekick. Tilda Swinton in guy drag. Hollywood knows what comic fans want. They want their beloved characters americanized and the movie version to be filled with techno music and cgi in every single shot.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

From Dusk Till Dawn, the series: Let's Get Ramblin' *Soul cleansing, soul redeeming, power in the blood.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Forever Knight: for I have Sinned *and sat in judgement.* close to 3 stars

"Exorcist 2: The Heretic" (1977) *Plight of the white wing dove. Not enough mood or scares, and too much of all of the following: pseudo science astral projection / mental flashbacks, jazz tap dance, big over the top special fx, traversing the globe, and Linda Blair vanity project / poor acting. James Earl Jones, Louise Fletcher, and Richard BUrton are great, though.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

Hannibal: Entree *"A bunch of psychopaths helping each other out."* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Coven "Head" *Proudly marching to the guillotine of perdition.* 3 stars

"Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror" (1981) *Eye-Talian style maggot-filled weapon-wielding zombies laying siege on a gothic mansion. Gore filled disembowling deaths, shot gun blasts to zombie skulls, smashing / chopping zombies / people to bits, and titty chewing. Gloriously over the top dubbing. And lastly a "child" or dwarf(?) actor that makes Bud Cort look normal.* 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Only Sin Deep *Pretty woman on loan from the pawn shop.* 3 stars

The Walking Dead: The Distance *Rick Grimes, the most justifiably paranoid man on the planet of the undead, will watch gay love, from the shadows, just to make sure someone's intentions are legit.* close to 3 stars

"Sticks and Stones" (1996) *Another of those generic mid-1990s coming of age / the dangers of handguns in a family home / absentee parents (too busy being a doctor more than a mom Kirstie Alley) / abusive white trash parents (father of the main bully) / dealing with school bullies and also brothers who are bullies too (Zack from Saved by the Bell. *barf* on both accounts) and the bullied (a young and pudgy Seth Rogen, you would think but the kid's name is Max Goldblatt along with his bully tackling overprotective daddy played by Gary Busey), complete with that wholesome Americana past-time of baseball as a connecting theme for this sentimental tripe.* either 1/2 a star or close to 2 stars

--- Black History Month --- Bon Voyage Film Feature ---

"Trippin" (1996) *A young brutha and perpetual slacker, during his senior year in highschool, is constantly escaping reality into his fantasies that often feature fly booty honeys.* 2 1/2 stars

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

Text

715.

Does your family have any Christmas traditions? >> ---

Have you been to Mount Rushmore? >> Nope. Wouldn’t go, either. I can’t imagine being even marginally interested in that bullshit monument.

How many of the United States have you been to? >> NJ, NC, NY, CO, LA, TX, SC, MD, PA, MI, IL. Eleven.

Where’s your ideal vacation spot? >> I always love revisiting NOLA, but I’m open to new places.

What meal can you absolutely not stand? >> Standard suburban party fare. There’s like a certain few things you always find at gatherings around here -- like chicken salad, crudites, shit like that -- and I find them all abhorrent.

Would you rather live in Idaho, Siberia, or the Australian outback? >> Idaho. Siberia is way too cold and isolated, and I am not suited for any sort of outback.

Do you get paranoid that someone’s looking at your through your window? >> No. I also live on the third floor, so that’d be pretty difficult to do.

Do you sleep with the door open, kinda open, or completely closed? >> Closed.

What color would you dye your hair if you HAD to? >> I am not interested in dyeing my hair and no one can make me.

What phrase/word do you tend to use a lot? >> Oh, you know, various filler phrases. Just used one in that sentence, in fact.

What grade did you get on your last major test? >> ---

What color was your Gameboy Color? >> ---

How many piercings do you have? >> Two. Three? I always get caught up in whether having both earlobes pierced counts as one piercing or two. Because it’s technically two, and plenty of people have only one lobe pierced (or like, the lobe of one ear but a different part of the other ear...), but colloquially we speak of both lobes as one piercing. Hmm.

Mountains, oceans, or forests? >> I like all three and I don’t see the point in choosing.

Have you colored in a coloring book since age 10? >> Sure.

How many times have you moved/changed houses? >> A lot. I’ve also been unhoused for a number of years.

When was the last time you “de-haired” your hairbrush? >> ---

Blistering cold or boiling hot weather? >> I don’t like extreme temperatures. In either direction. Period. Why are people always making it a one-or-the-other thing, they’re both awful.

Earbuds or headphones? >> Headphones.

What was the last movie you saw in theatres? >> Birds of Prey.

Do you have any friends that are from out of country? >> No, but I talk to people from different countries on the internet quite frequently.

Do you want Obama to serve a second term in 2012? >> I don’t recall having an opinion, but either way, he did get a second term.

What’s your lucky number? Does it ever grant any luck? >> 9 / 19. No, it’s not that kind of number. It’s just intensely synchronous and fraught with meaning for me.

Do you take showers so hot, your skin turns pink? >> Nooooo.

How old were you when you got chicken pox? >> I never got it.

Are you afraid that you’ll get swine flu? >> I didn’t even think about it while that was happening, it didn’t seem important to me at the time. I’m nervous about COVID-19 but, like... I don’t know. Being sick is kind of difficult for me to fathom, which is an interesting and probably envious problem to have, I guess.

Are any of your great grandparents still alive? >> I assume not.

Alex Trebek or Bob Barker? >> Alex Trebek all day.

Wii, Playstation 3, or XBOX 360? >> I don’t care about any of them, really.

What’s your sexual orientation? >> Asexual as far as any of y’all outworld folks are concerned.

How tall are you? >> 5′5″.

Who/what are you obsessed with currently? >> Hmm... what am I obsessed with? Not sure.

Have you had any snow days this year? >> ---

Do you need to clip your nails? >> No.

Could you go for a dip in the jacuzzi right now? >> No.

What’s your favorite TV show? >> The X-Files is one.

How much do you weigh? >> I don’t know and I refuse to find out.

Have you ever consumed alcohol? Do you still/are you going to? >> Yes and yes.

What color are your eyes? >> Dark brown.

Do you have full or thinner lips? >> Full.

Which of the Pirates of the Carribean’s was your favorite? >> The first one, I guess. I don’t really remember the others even though I know I saw them.

Is Johnny Depp really the hottest man alive? >> Oof. Not anymore, that’s for sure. In the public opinion, I mean, but also I thought he was a lot cooler when I was younger. Now he’s just vaguely obnoxious and a bit of a one-trick pony when it comes to acting...

Do you have Windows 7? >> No, I have 10 on this machine and 8 on my gaming laptop.

Brownies or cake? >> Meh.

What did you get for your last birthday? >> That’s... a good question. I assume we went to Chicago.

Where’s your significant other? >> In the living room.

Do you press the delete key or the backspace key to get rid of a mistake? >> The backspace key.

How much blankets do you sleep under? >> One, if I can bear it. I am always fighting a battle between my need for the weight of my blanket and my need to not overheat, which I do almost nightly.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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sleepinglightt · 7 years ago

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All

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?My boy toy  2. Are you outgoing or shy?I’m outgoing with most people, I’m only shy around people I️ think are cute  3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?My dad!! I️ get to see him on Christmas break :)) 4. Are you easy to get along with?I️ think so? I’m really nice to pretty much everyone unless you’ve fucked me over or you’re not nice to me 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?Yeah  6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Taking gender out of the equation, I’m attracted to people that have kind hearts and interesting personalities  7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?I️ hope so  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?My boy toy  9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Not really  10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?My best friend  11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?It’s literally just laughing emojis  12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Playboy shit- blackbear Up in this- blackbear U- h.e.r. (BIG MOOD) Ivy- frank ocean Verbatim- blackbear  13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?YES  14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?I️ believe in miracles, but I️ don’t really believe in luck  15. What good thing happened this summer?Lots of good things happened this summer, but a lot of bad things also happened  16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Yeah  17. Do you think there is life on other planets?Yeah, and I️ hope I’m right and I️ hope they’re nice to us if they ever come here  18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Nope  19. Do you like bubble baths?Yes yes yes  20. Do you like your neighbors?My neighbors are old and kinda weird but they’re nice  21. What are you bad habits?I️ bite my nails and I️ pick at my cuticles 🙃 22. Where would you like to travel?I️ kinda wanna go to like Iceland or something?? I️ think that would be kinda cool  23. Do you have trust issues?Yeah, especially with men  24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Going to sleep at night bc then I️ don’t have to deal with anyone or anything  25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?All of it lmao  26. What do you do when you wake up?I️ normally just try to go back to sleep but then I️ realize I️ have to go to school and I️ cry internally  27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?I️ like it the way it is I️ guess idk  28. Who are you most comfortable around?Probably my best friend  29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Yeah 30. Do you ever want to get married?Yeah, one day I️ wanna get married and everything even though it kinda scares me  31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?My hair is so long that when I️ put it in a high ponytail it still goes to my shoulders 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?Missy peregrym and Ellen page, final answer.  33. Spell your name with your chin.Ao c (my name is Alex but that’s what ya get I️ guess)  34. Do you play sports? What sports?I️ used to play softball, volleyball, and basketball but I️ quit a few years ago  35. Would you rather live without TV or music?I’d rather live without TV  36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Yup  37. What do you say during awkward silences?I️ normally make a stupid joke, and then instantly regret it  38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Let’s not go here lmao  39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?I️ like to shop at thrift stores, zumiez, and target I️ guess?  40. What do you want to do after high school?I️ just wanna be happy 🤷🏻‍♀️ 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?Yes, I️ honestly give 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances bc apparently I️ love being walked over 🙃 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?It means I️ either don’t like you or I’m really sad and I️ have a lot on my mind  43. Do you smile at strangers?I️ always smile when I️ make eye contact  44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Outer space  45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?Food 46. What are you paranoid about?Literally everything, I’m not even over exaggerating  47. Have you ever been high?Nope  48. Have you ever been drunk?Nope 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Not really  50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?It was tie dye rainbow 51. Ever wished you were someone else?All the time  52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?There’s a few things, but the main one is not being able to stand up for myself and not speaking my mind  53. Favourite makeup brand?I️ really love Anastasia Beverly Hills  54. Favourite store?Target  55. Favourite blog?Ummmm idk  56. Favourite colour?Either yellow or dark green  57. Favourite food? NOODLES  58. Last thing you ate?I️ had hot Cheetos  59. First thing you ate this morning?I️ had a donut this morning  60. Ever won a competition? For what?I️ won a bunch of softball tournaments back in the day, does that count?  61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope 62. Been arrested? For what?Nope 63. Ever been in love? Yup yup yup  64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?I was literally like 12 and it was with a boy in a church parking lot and we went out to his dads car and he kissed me and our front teeth hit together it was “romantic”  65. Are you hungry right now?Nope 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I️ don’t have very many tumblr friends :// 67. Facebook or Twitter?Twitter  68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now?Nope 70. Names of your bestfriends? Briann, briann, and briann  71. Craving something? What?Affection 72. What colour are your towels?They’re multicolored  72. How many pillows do you sleep with?I️ sleep with literally no pillows. I️ know, I’m weird  73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?I️ sleep with 1, don’t judge 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Probably like 15-20? 75. Favourite animal?Dogs 76. What colour is your underwear?Burgundy 77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Strawberry 79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Dark blue 80. What colour pants?They’re pajama pants and they have lil dogs on them, super cute 81. Favourite tv show?The x files 82. Favourite movie?THE NEW SAW MOVIE IM OBSESSED  83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?mean girls 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean girls bc I’ve never seen 21 jump street  85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Gretchen bc I️ really relate to her  86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Dory  87. First person you talked to today?My boy toy  88. Last person you talked to today?The day isn’t over yet 89. Name a person you hate?I️ don’t say his name bc he doesn’t deserve my time  90. Name a person you love?I️ love a lot of people 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Not really?  92. In a fight with someone?Nope 93. How many sweatpants do you have?I️ only have like 1 pair  94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?I️ have like 10 95. Last movie you watched?Jigsaw 96. Favourite actress?Ellen page 97. Favourite actor?Ryan Reynolds?  98. Do you tan a lot?Nope 99. Have any pets?I️ have a dog 100. How are you feeling?Kinda sad, but it’s okay  101. Do you type fast?Yeah  102. Do you regret anything from your past?I️ regret A LOT of things 103. Can you spell well?I️m a decent speller 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?Yeah :/ 105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Yes 106. Ever broken someone’s heart?Unfortunately  107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yeah  108. What should you be doing?I️ don’t have anything to do  109. Is something irritating you right now?Yeah 🙃 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?YES 111. Do you have trust issues?I️ have a lot, especially with men and I️ answered this already  112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I️ haven’t cried in front of anyone in a long time 113. What was your childhood nickname?In softball they called me my last name but idk if that counts. I️ also got call “ghost” and “skeleton” bc kids are dickheads 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yup :) 115. Do you play the Wii?I️ used to, but my wii broke  116. Are you listening to music right now?Nope 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Yes 118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes 119. Favourite book?Looking for Alaska (yeah I’m basic)  120. Are you afraid of the dark?Not really, I️ just get really paranoid 121. Are you mean?I️ can be, only when you get on my bad side though  122. Is cheating ever okay?Nope 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Nope 124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Nope 125. Do you believe in true love?Yeah  126. Are you currently bored?Yeah :/ 127. What makes you happy?Coffee and cold weather 128. Would you change your name?Nope 129. What your zodiac sign?Gemini 130. Do you like subway?Not really  131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Like them back apparently bc that’s what happened lmao  132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Didn’t I️ already answer this?? 133. Favourite lyrics right now?“Fuck on ur bitch like I’m Hefner”  134. Can you count to one million?Probably not 135. Dumbest lie you ever told?I️ don’t even remember honestly  136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Open, I’m not allowed to have my doors closed but it freaks me out and gives me anxiety  137. How tall are you?5’6 138. Curly or Straight hair?I️ have straight hair but I️ prefer curly hair bc it’s really pretty  139. Brunette or Blonde?I️ have a thing for brunettes not even gonna lie 140. Summer or Winter?Winter 141. Night or Day?Night  142. Favourite month?December 143. Are you a vegetarian?I’m trying to be  144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?I️t doesn’t matter, it’s all great  145. Tea or Coffee?Coffee 146. Was today a good day?Kinda?  147. Mars or Snickers?Snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote?I️ don’t really have one 149. Do you believe in ghosts?Yeah 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? There are no books near me at the moment

#asks

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