#also no brian because I'm in a fuck brian mood sorry not sorry

[gayalienwilde]

✮ Lovely art provided by @leoblooms

[thr4shit]

So... based on my favorites in emH and MH...

When I FINALLY commit to me TribeTwelve rewatch (aka. Once I finish emH and recover from what I vaguely remember being traumatic emotionally...) who do y'all think will be my favorite?

Anywho.

Favorite(s) from MH

Alex Kralie

Tim Wright

Jay Merrick

( Close tie with Brian Thomas. And they flip flop every now and then. Right now I'm in more of a Jay mood. But also mmmm- Seth sneaks in there every now and then. )

Favorites from emH

Evan Myers

HABIT

Steph

( Yes. I am biased. I don't care. :/ )

If y'all have thoughts as to who you think I'll end up favoriting I'd love to hear them. Because TribeTwelve has vanished from my cranium like every other fucking SlenderVerse thing for some reason.

To all my lovely Slenderverse moots:

Aka @ofishally @jammofsammichflip @brianssock , @smolfrosted , @fritzjings , etc. Idk. Sorry for the tagging.

This is just sort of @ everyone. I'm gonna pin this to see what people think.

Brain is overly curious because I'm almost done again ToT

[frostbitepandaaaaa]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

thanks for the tag @andorerso and @quarantineddreamer

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

weirdly enough.... exactly like B-- i was a young, weird little girl who wanted to live in Brian Jaques' world of Redwall so i wrote little stories of my own in that universe. shit, i could not have been older than 9 or 10. it just kind of sprouted from there.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

published fics? six. (x files, game of thrones, mad max: fury road, star wars/rogue one/andor, avatar the last airbender, harry potter) unpublished? maybe three or four more than that.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

when i started publishing fanfic... oh my god it's been like 19/20 years now.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

write. i go through phases, of course, but i am such a picky bitch. my phases usually end up like this:

step one) i read everything there is to read based on a certain niche trope that i am in the mood for at the time.

step two) wow! that was great. what a feast!

step three) ...okay i'm still hungry and these fics didn't quite scratch this very, very niche itch i have so--

step four) *chuckles* i'm in danger.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

i feel like i've gotten a lot better at plotting and pacing. it's weird, because i never felt like that was really an issue for me before, but i've realized that until i started writing for rebelcaptain, i was heavily a 'vibes-based' writer. which i feel that i still am in many ways, but with rebelcaptain i am going back and resequencing, cutting/adding/shortening and deleting way more than i have in the past in order to maintain tension and pacing better. wether or not these things are actually improved is another matter altogether, but i feel like they are. (and is a big reason why all of my multi-chapters take forever........ sorry about that. it's me slicing and dicing my drafts). the world building aspect of Star Wars is also really cool-- wanna a certain setting? just fucking make it up! no one cares. and as a setting slut, i love this for me. <3

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

australian cattle stations.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i don't discriminate, but the comments that compare me to other works/creators (i've gotten Bronte, Justified, the Coen Brothers and others). those both make me so happy and so mad because how???? no way. not me. @justwandering-neverlost also left my favorite comment ever, before we were friends-- that i inspired her to be a better writer. and now look at us! she can't get rid of me! bet she regrets that. <3

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

me and my western/small/rundown town settings. you can pry that shit from my cold, dead hands. also... storms.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

modern aus honestly. i start one in order to give myself reprieve from angst and plot and shit and all of a sudden i am having hours-long breakdowns about how this character would fit into this setting and how this character would react to this this thing in this time and all of a sudden the fluffy little modern au has grown 5000 legs and now is a hydratic millipede of hellish proportions that i have to methodically find a way to domesticate without cutting off more legs because two more grow in its place and--

10. What is the easiest type?

you want angst? pining? idiots in love? i got you.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i write anywhere-- on my phone in my car in between appointments at work. at my desk at home. on my couch. in the bar. in my bed. on the patio. i use ulysses. i love the formatting options and just the simple UI in general. it allows you to be as organized or unorganized as you want (very unorganized in my case). as to what time... i'm trying to get better about only finding writing strides at like... 11PM on Tuesdays but alas.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

any historical au. i would love to do one cause i love research and world building and all that but... uh... see my complaints about modern aus above and you can see why i have avoided those. it's one of those 'i've never tried [insert addictive drug here] because i know that i would like it too much and it would ruin my life' sort of situations

13. What made you choose your username?

i was like 8 or 9 years old and wanted to get into a Harry Potter chatroom and everything i picked was 'already taken'. cue me just smashing two words together and never really looking back.

no pressure tags: @justwandering-neverlost @chipthekeeper @luciechat @fulcrumstardust @incognitajones

[gagsolineoilrefinery]

brian headcanons? pretty please

Smiles so big and wide at you yes absolutely I love that little freak

putting under a read more for convenience's sake

- I'm 100% a Bug Brian truther, that man is an insect you can't convince me otherwise, I like to think he can make weird little chittering noises and climbs up walls with his hands and feet for enrichment

- He's trans and has no last name because he didn't care enough to pick a new one so he went with none, acts all mysterious about it because he thinks it makes him look cool

- This man needs glasses so fucking badly but after a litany of "nerd" comments growing up he refuses to wear them, has attempted contacts but cant get them in his eyes for the life of him

- He would genuinely rather die than go to the factory, he does all his needed repairs on himself unless he's forced to (usually by Ben or William)

- He gets along with his co workers in, his own way when he's forced to interact with them. He does not understand how to behave "appropriately" around other people, he's my favorite rude autism icon (he is going to insult your intelligence at any given opportunity with what he sees as good intentions and does not understand why everyone hates him)

- I'm also a Bellthinker truther I think that british man should kiss that bug right on the brain dome and make him so flustered his systems soft reset

- Every time theres a meeting that he's in the second he's at the front of the room the entire mood changes because everybody knows he's gonna have a whole presentation planned thats no less than 1 hour long, and he will yell at you if you try to stand up for any reason

- I like to think living in the heart of toontown (right in the playground no less) definitely has some side effects on him, the silliness is rubbing off on him more than he realizes, most obviously things like his brain exploding comically when he starts baby raging

- Im sorry this man is absolutely a cog reddit user (coggit? idk) you can't change my mind, hes a power mod and proud of it, keeps getting talked to for using it on company time though

- He's very attatched to the Desk Jockeys but absolutely hates to admit it, I like to think its a Dr. Robotnik with Scratch and Grounder type dynamic (thinking especially like that one scene where Robotnik says "I don't even know why I bother to repair you guys, I suppose I'm too sentimental" shit like that)

- With his dynamics with the other toontown central managers, I think he actually feels very guilty about the incident that happened with Buck- but instead feigns a petty hatred for him so nobody will ask him about it and he doesn't have to admit how monumentally he fucked up

- He's on relatively chill terms with William, they're both angry big mouthed autistic people who do not know how to shut up so they mesh pretty well, I think they like to fight eachother to let off steam and then makeup immediately after, Brian isn't too fond of the whole oil leakage problem thing though because it makes a mess of his basement but he doesn't exactly hold it against him since he knows he can't help it

- When he can spare the time he loves poking around in the systems of his co workers just to see how they operate out of morbid curiosity and to see how he can make the jockeys more efficient, he's on that medic tf2 shit, not many of them let him do it though (understandably so)

- Probably went to whatever the cog equivalent of medical school was but lost his medical license after The Buck Incident™️

(And I think thats probably good for now because I am dangerously treading the line of infofumping about my AU sorry I have so many thoughts about this creature)

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Nineteen things I noted about CR2E123 “Fair-weather Faith” and the Talks Machina about it :

I'm not apologizing for this post, the episode was 5 hours and 24 minutes long !

The fact that we had, almost back-to-back, a moment where Beau was like "No ! Don't pour acid on my hand ! I need my hand for... like, stuff... Combat !!", and a moment later, this gem : Ashley : "I'm going to grab Beau's hand and just start just trying to rub it [the eye] off." Laura, with her 14-year-old adolescent mind : *snickers* Ashley : "Just rub one out real quick !"

Travis, overjoyed at this turn of events, in vindication : "Ah, this is great ! Who's having the fucked-up dreams now, huh ??"

I'm crying with laughter, they are so FERAL, they went from "let's cast Greater Restoration" to "maybe the only solution is cutting off their heads !!" while also doing "let's pour acid on the eye on the hand !" and "maybe if we cut the hand and grow it back ?" !! Poor Beau is having the worst night.

Ashley's "I rolled a dragon !! I'm sorry !!" was entirely too cute.

Ooooooh, the Beau-Jester team up was HOT. Bonus, Sam, having a flashback to CR1 : "Dimension Dooring to a dragon ? That sounds like a terrible idea."

This fight is awesome because a) I fucking love dragons b) they are learning a lot about how Lucien & Co work in battle !

The image of both Otis and Veth trying to hide behind Fjord (who is... a half-orc, yes, but not that massive) while they're bickering is so hilarious.

Jester cast Heal on Fjord, true love, babyyyyyyyy ! Caduceus : "That feels good, doesn't it ?" Jester, not convinced at all : "Def' !... whatever..."

Ashley 'Pool Hall' Johnson : "I summoned this bitch, AND WE'RE GOING TO END HER !!"

Me, after this fight versus an ancient white dragon, when Matt calls for break : "well, this was dangerous but fun !" Also me, remembering the total length of the episode and knowing that most episodes of CR that are that long tends to end up in tears and bone-deep anxiety : "... cool... So THAT WASN'T the thing I should be worried about ??"

OTIS STOLE THE FUCKING BAG OF HOLDING DURING THE FIGHT WITH THE DRAGON when they were hiding behind Fjord. I hate them !!!! But also, respect.

me, 5 seconds later : "Oh yeah I understand the runtime now"

Liam, about Taliesin's former character (Lucien) attacking Taliesin's current character (Caduceus) : "That is a man going down on himself !" You would know, mister Liam 'I was once so agile I publicly bragged on my podcast with my best friend that I could have sucked my own dick' O'Brien

You know it's bad when the DM almost say "I would consider getting out of here" to his players

Caleb Counterspelled a Counterspell that Counterspelled a Slow spell, oh my god this fight !!!! I can't believe it will see that animated

Sam : "Remember when I said I didn't want it to end ?... I want it to end now, I want it to be over !" That's the mood though. This fight was harrowing, because the Mighty Nein were at a disadvantage from the beginning, and the Tomb Takers were out for blood, they even prevented them to escape !

They took 5 minutes of Talks to drag Sam's mustache (fair). Then, Brian made some great comments throughout the show : "You look like if Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier", "Before you go to your audition for Gang of Newark...", "tell us more, Tony Shalhoub character guest spot", "that mustache looks like my garbage disposal when it's malfunctioning"

Sam goes on a rant about how he hates the inherent Luck halflings have, and it's glorious.

At this point in time, Liam reveals he chose Sam's next character class/race combo, and that Sam has accepted it. I do wonder if Sam abided by those choices, or he changed it for Campaign 3. Since we don't have Talks anymore, and I don't think they answered that kind of question on 4 Sided Dive, I don't know...

[jeremy-hillary-boob]

HEY LOOK I FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO AN ASK!!!! LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY

DO HELP! HELP HELP HELP!!! RANK THOSE BEATLES SONGS HAHAHAHAHA!

look at you go!! thank you, Help! is Such an album. here we go:

1. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away - John baby stop projecting all your homosexual angst onto the only openly gay man in your life. this song is not about Brian. stop lying.

2. The Night Before - what a tasty melody. I want to eat it

3. I've Just Seen a Face - listen, ignore the pronouns, this is a Gay Baby Paul song. little teenage Paul sitting in his auntie's living room belting this out? good for him! fucking good for him. also the rhythm of the lyrics is so!! that tumbling sensation! great job little guy I'm proud of you

4. Ticket to Ride - you know that one quote about how any drummer can count the bars, but Ringo was playing the song? this is what they meant. John and Paul's vocals are stellar, but this is lowkey George and Ringo's song, they're doing the heavy lifting and making it look easy

5. Tell Me What You See - John and Paul remain the world's biggest fans of freakishly intense eye contact, and here they are singing about it. is this perhaps a song about slipping your glasses down the end of your nose and saying, "it's only me?" who can never be sure!

6. Another Girl - this song is so bitchy. it's bitchy in a very specific way, too; it's got strong girl group energy, which is of course the mood in which Paul's bitchiness gets polished to the highest possible shine

7. You're Going to Lose That Girl - speaking of girl group energy, the call and response backing vocals are delightful here, as is the boys going back to the theme of Competitive Dating hinted at in She Loves You

8. Help! - a bouncy little bop about John's steadily worsening mental health. the only reason this one is so far down on the list is because I have heard it too many fucking times, but there's a reason for that, and the reason is that it slaps

9. Yesterday - similar problem. I think I've actually heard Yesterday as many times as anyone needs to in one lifetime. nevertheless its reputation is deserved, so here it is in the middle of the list

10. You Like Me Too Much - this song gets stuck in my head constantly, and I am always charmed by george's nasally enunciation when he sings lead on songs like this one, but the instrumental choices on this are a little weak

11. I Need You - pretty much everything I said about the last one applies here too.

12. Dizzy Miss Lizzy - oh, the irony of me putting this so low on this list given how many years my identity in online beatles fandom was linked to usernames that were variations on this song. I'll give it this, John fucking committed on those vocals.

13. It's Only Love - John thought this song was a throwaway, and so do I. again, funny for me to feel that way now given how much I loved it when I was 14. there are some segments of this song where the lyrics Really Worked, but it probably needed more of a polish than it got

14. Act Naturally - Ringo does a great job with a song I'm just not that into. sorry sweetie.

[johns-prince]

Ok so this is going to be a long post but I need someone to explain something to me. I'm a guy, I'm gay and recently I just started to get obsessed with The Beatles and John especially. Let's say I have a mad crush on the guy. I was pleased to hear thanks to some blogs like yours that he was an lgbtq ally, and there is a chance that the man of my life was also a bisexual ( strongly leaning on the male side if I read some of your blogs including yours ). But my adoration for the man has been ---

shattered since I've read on various Beatles forums that he was very homophobic and shit it hurts me to hear that. I know that he has beat up a guy for implying that he was gay, trashed a movie on homosexuality in front of everyone ( I think the movie was called Victim ), that he would openly mock his gay manager Brian Epstein ( bless him ), has called gay people nasty names during a 70s interview like AKOMP stated, that he made fun of a musician by kissing him then pushing him away and called - him a " faggot " and other incidents I can't think of right now. It just hurts a lot because I adore this man, I'm madly in love with him but I'm starting to believe that all this support for the our community had been nothing but a shtick for the " peace & love " propaganda he and Yoko started in the 70s. He also said in a interview w himself that " bisexuality is trendy " which makes me believe that I'm right. I am lost & disappointed & I'm turning to you guys to clarify all of this to me pls.

Well first of all, hullo! I totally understand having a mad crush on John, as well as him being The Man of My Life. 

Yes, it’s true! The Beatles in general were very ahead of their time; none of them had any real issue with homosexuals, though perhaps a bit put off at times because of their upbringing and culture and all that, but they were supportive and never understood why these people were treated so poorly. They had a gay manager, it’d be weird for them to be homophobic while treating Brian like a parental figure, loved him and adored him [even if they did tease him a bit behind his back, or even in front of him-- they teased everyone, doesn’t mean they held any ill feelings towards Brian because he was gay] and being part of the music/artsy crowd, they all had gay/bisexual friends, open or not. 

I truly believe John was bisexual, and while he never outright stated it, I believe he would have eventually directly came out if he had not been killed. 

He was moreso testing the waters though, talking about that when he was 15 he thought he’d have to go and marry off some wealthy old woman or man to continue his passion for art/literature; frequented gay bars with Harry Nilsson, and while he claimed he did it to put off the press-- we know that what he did would have the opposite effect, the press would be constantly on watch, being that there was John Lennon going about gay bars! John could be a terrible liar; even during his Hamburg days, John was described as seeming at home in bars featuring drag queens, and was told he found it stupid how the ‘’culture’’ of gay individuals in industries like music or art, the “scenes” were championed, but the people in general were treated like shit; later on John says gay people are beautiful during an interview [in the 70s I believe]; he’s quoted saying that people should be able to love anyone, that it shouldn’t matter who someone loves; back to the Hamburg era, apparently John had been caught in a drag club/transvestite bar, you know, getting frisky with one by I guess the club runner? and he was all embarrassed of course, but the man didn’t judge him; John is described as someone who was always willing to experiment, after agreeing to a threesome with someone, again back in Germany, one female and another male [though the female was between them, not sure if anything happened between John and the other male]; yes I remember reading somewhere that John did kiss another male performer, before shoving him off and responded crudely; Yoko saying how she’d ‘’teasingly’’ call John a Closeted Fag; Yoko claiming John had told her he would have slept with a man, but he hadn’t found a man beautiful and intelligent enough for him to want to bed him [lies]; Yoko claiming that John had thought about having an affair with Paul; there’s rumors about John and David Bowie; that John had let Brian jerk him off and touch him during their trip to Spain [how John claims it wasn’t fully consummated, that is, no intercourse]; John in an interview saying how he hasn’t slept with a man-- but who knows? Life begins at 40!; John saying how Yoko reminded him of a bloke in drag, and how she was basically like a best mate, but it was easier because with her he could fuck her and love her in public; how he was found holding Brian’s hand by George and Pattie and someone else, and made it a note to showcase his holding of Brian’s hand, because being homosexual was still illegal then-- and there was John, trying to show that “yeah it’s okay.”; and there’s probably much more stories about John when it came to his sexual leaning towards men, though most have probably died with close friends and lovers.

Now, I think what happens is that these people forget the context surrounding John’s life; he wasn’t born in today’s world, he was born in the 40s and raised in the 50s-- being homosexual was illegal, and taught as something shameful, wrong, sick. Even though the boys were relatively very open and ahead of their time, they still grew up in all that, and so of course they still had ignorance and “fear” of homosexuality, of being anything but the expected standard of masculinity. 

John wasn’t the only one who mocked or teased Brian about being gay-- the other boys did it too, though moreso behind his back. John only did this when he was in a very sour mood though, as he did with anyone, he’d hone in on what was considered a sore spot, or weakness of theirs, and jab at it. He’d never mean anything by it though, and would often go talk to them afterwards an try to explain that-- his roundabout way of “apologizing,” that he never meant it, he was only joking, and he might hug them. No one was really safe from John’s sharp tongue when he got into those low points, aggressive and biting. John loved Brian, absolutely did, Brian was a very important paternal figure in John’s life as John never had a good one. When Brian died it devastated all of them, especially John, because again he had lost a very close male friend, too soon or too young, they’d always leave him. John loved Brian, and if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, they’re either lying or ignorant themselves. 

Now, I think it was actually pretty important for John to tell that story about beating up Bob Wooler, and be as honest as he could about the whole thing, and owned up to his rather intolerant reaction to someone suggesting John was “a queer,” essentially [this was indeed after going off with Brian to Spain, so really everyone had been making sly comments– but that time around, John was drunk, and Drunk John is not at all sensible or cool]

“Bob had been insinuating that me and Brian had had an affair in Spain. And I must have been frightened of the fag in me to get so angry. I was out of my mind with drink - you know, when you get down to the point where you want to drink out of all the empty glasses; that drunk. And Bob was saying, ‘Come on, John, tell me about you and Brian - we all know.’ You know when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man - if somebody had said it now I wouldn’t give a shit, but I was beating the shit out of him, hitting him with a big stick, and for the first time I thought, ‘I can kill this guy.’ I just saw it, like on a screen: if I hit him once more, that’;s going to be it. I really got shocked. That’s when I gave up violence, because all my life I’d been like that.”

- John Lennon, 1972 Anthology [x]

I think it says a lot, you know, John claiming he was afraid of the fag in him-- I mean, wouldn’t that mean that John knew a part of him was queer then? I think this was part of John confessing, though again, barely anyone caught onto it around that time. This is where I think John was projecting, and most of the ‘’homophobic’’ behavior he showcased was simply a product of internalized homophobia/biphobia. 

Also apparently John was INCREDIBLY, horribly remorseful and ashamed of what he had done to Bob-- I think he had gone to him and tried to apologize and show how sorry he was, how ashamed. 

I haven’t heard anything about John trashing the movie because of it being homosexual, so I can’t say much about that. 

So yeah, my conclusion is that a lot of what John did or said was a product of not only his upbringing/society and of internalized homophobia/biphobia. 

John grew up as a musician and individual in the “gay” scene, had many gay and bisexual friends from the industry, seemed to adore and love drag queens, was close friends with Elton Jon, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, loved and truly did look up to his manager Brian Epstein, thought it stupid gay people were treated like shite despite their contributions to the culture they all loved, thought Elvis was beautiful and was often caught commenting about it by friends, was always willing to “experiment,” his wife thought he was a bit of a closeted fag, that he would have slept with a man though he had never found one that met his expectations [liar], how his first love was Paul, that he fell for Paul’s looks like everyone else, thought Paul was the prettiest, Yoko claiming John had contemplated having an affair with Paul-- like, the list goes on. 

His support and acceptance of LGBT individuals was there long before Yoko-- so I wouldn’t really put the two in the same area, that being, yeah the whole political-era and “Peace and Love,” was brainwashing and influenced by Yoko, but not his beliefs towards the LGBT. 

Also, bisexual was seen as ‘’trendy’’ as, you see, bisexuality was actually considered a bit of a “new” thing; you were either gay or straight, even if you loved both men and women, you were considered a queer. I think that also messed with John’s already confused and frustrated view of his sexuality. And before that, it was considered a Bohemian Lifestyle-- try everything, sleep with men and women. 

I think if anything, John was possibility irritated with the fact bisexuality was considered a trend. 

I dunno, I try to remember the period and cultural context when talking about John, or anyone really, because it’s not very fair to judge them based on today’s culture and societal acceptance. It’s easy for us to judge them, not to try and understand them.

[rewrite-canon]

Fifteen Minutes

Monster Prom // No Pairings // 2609 Words // Lyrics by Mike Krol

“What if I told you that the world was gonna end? And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?” Vicky sings, bobbing her head to the tune that seemed to be playing in her head.

“What lame shit are you singing now?” Damien demanded, flicking a finger at her.

“None of your business,” Vicky bristled. “Why do you care anyway?”

I sucked in a breath. Vicky was really pushing it now. I think she is the only one with balls low enough to question Damien. Besides me, obviously. Well, Vera and Brian were plenty badass for it too. But only because Vera had enough brain cells to manipulate the way she said it that it looked like she wasn’t confronting him, and also because Brian gave no fucks whatsoever about Damien’s chaotic behaviour. Even now, I shudder to think of some of the arguments Damien and Brian had had.

And speaking of the devil and his green mates, they were huddled together in a manner that only meant no good. Now, Damien had swivelled around to face Vicky, a sneer on his face. I was sure his eyes would flare in rage at her question (they were always somewhat flared with rage), but instead they narrowed and Damien just frowned.

“Because you're distracting me, Brian and Vera from devising a plan to ransack the new substitute’s office with horny epileptics from hell for when he starts looking at our attendance records,” Damien said, gesturing to Brian, who had looked up blankly, and Vera, who was wearing her trademark scowl.

I should've known. Damien had always had a weird soft spot for Vicky (and Oz and Scott, but everybody had a soft spot for Oz and Scott).

“And steal his things,” Vera added. “I heard ghouls were filthy rich.”

“Great,” Brian rolled his eyes sarcastically at her. “So you're just going to waltz into Mr Devido’s office whilst he's being assaulted by epileptic demons and take your time picking and choosing what's valuable enough for your standards, unaware? Great plan, Vera. I thought you were supposed to be a grand schemer.”

Meanwhile, Vicky went back to humming her little tune. Miranda, who was in the middle of braiding Liam’s hair as he was browsing his phone (a seemingly pure act, if you ignored the fact that he was reading erotic gay smut and she kept rambling on her father’s new murderous conquests), looked up at her and smiled warmly. She soon picked up the few words Vicky sang, and began to sing it too, Liam then unconsciously murmuring them too after a while.

“I am, you ungrateful toad,” Vera snapped in the meantime. “Would you be paying attention to anything else around you if you were being grinded on by demons having seizures?”

Brian seemed to mull it over, then he said, “You’ve got a point.”

Polly, who had her head laid in Oz’s lap (poor Oz was trying to do homework, and ignore the heinous acts his friends were planning to commit) and her feet were resting in Scott’s lap (Scott was just chewing on a football, only to stop, look up, and smile adorably at everybody) and was complaining loudly at how bored and sober she was, and how she hadn't got completely wasted in seven hours.

“Seven hours!” She cried out, either to Oz or Scott, but it might as well of been no one, because no one was really listening. “That's the longest I've ever been without drugs and adrenaline coursing through my undead body! Can you imagine? And it's because I'm hanging out with you borings fuckheads. I mean, I'm literally in the lap of somebody doing fucking homework. I haven't even said the word ‘homework’ in centuries. And I'm not even on Oz’s lap in a sexual way so what even is the fucking point–?”

“–And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?”

<!— more —>

“What the fuck are you singing?!” Damien roared at Liam, who jerked in alarm, Miranda, who just grinned evilly, and Vicky, who just rolled her eyes at his drama. “It’s going to make me go insane!”

“More insane than you already are?” I prompted, not being able to help myself.

Damien’s scorching eyes turned to me, and I snickered. He’s so easy to piss off.

“Amira,” he growled at me, “tell Vicky and company to shut the fuck up. They respect you for some reason.”

“It’s because she has really fucking good music taste,” Polly answered for Damien. “Like, it’s seriously good.”

Everyone collectively nodded, and I blushed.

“Wow guys,” I said, feeling this was a good time to talk about Rex Orange County’s new album, “it’s not that–”

“What would you guys do if you had fifteen minutes left in life?” Scott blurted, a troubled (yet absolutely adorable) expression on his face.

“I'd probably try to fuck up the world even more,” Polly said immediately, grinning at the thought. “I think I'd try to burn down everything, spray some secret concoction to get people incredibly horny, watch them get at it as they're burning to death, and I plan to do this all while riding a donkey casually.”

“To be honest, I'd probably try to finish this first and foremost,” Liam said, holding up his phone. Then he smiled goofily. “This shit is good.”

“Would you spend it with me and friends?” Scott said, wide-eyed.

Polly and Liam looked at him, at his vulnerable face, and I knew what they were going to say before they said it.

“Of course!” Polly said enthusiastically. “Yeah, doing all that with you guys would make it even more rad!”

“Yeah,” Liam added, but then blushed in that cute, shy way. “But I don’t know how much you guys would love reading this with me.”

“I’d love doing everything with you both,” Scott grinned, his mood instantly picking up, as Polly choked at the statement. He then turned to look at Damien and Oz.

“How about you two?” Scott queried, and I laughed a bit about how Damien’s face scrunched up as he started to think about. No doubt he was using his maximum brain power.

“To be honest, I’m probably the one who is ending the world,” Damien remarked, and everyone started to nod their heads in agreement. “So, sorry about that in advance.”

“I’d probably have to finish this Monsters' History homework first,” Oz said, gesturing awkwardly at his essay he was writing out, “and then I’d probably straighten up all my debts and then–”

“Oh my Satan, Oz, shut it,” Damien said, massaging his temples, as if Oz’s statement caused him physical harm. “It makes me sad, that you would say that. And it also makes me impeccably annoyed with you. And now I feel hostile.”

“When do you not feel hostile, though?” Vicky and I said at the same time, and then we grin at each other and high five.

Damien glared at us, whilst Oz is quick to defuse the fire.

“Well, sorry Damien, but I'm just being honest,” he said quickly, drawing Damien’s attention to him (which is kinda ballsy, if I do say so myself). “But what I do know,” Oz continued bravely, under Damien's smouldering gaze, “is that I wouldn't mind ending the world with you, Damien.”

It's hilarious, seeing Damien’s naturally red face get even redder, and to see Oz realise what he just said and sputter innocently. Vera, however, is not pleased.

“Oh,” she said, sniffing in jealous offence (that takes me all the willpower I possessed not to burst into giggling fits, and I could see I wasn't the only one struggling there, because Polly was just barely keeping it down), “I see how it is. You would destroy the world with Damien, but not with me, Oz?”

“What? No! Of course I would want to do everything with you–” and then Oz’s voice died and Polly finally lost it, which made me burst as well, and the next thing you know Vicky was also giggling along with us. Even Brian seemed to be smirking.

Vera glared at us, which made Vicky and me shut up, and Brian just lost his amused expression naturally, but Polly was undeterred.

“For the record,” Damien said in a weird, insecure, shy tone that made him sound like an entirely different person. “I don't, you know, mind doing homework or whatever nerdy stuff with you, Oz.”

And now Brian was the one sputtering.

“Oh you fucking snot,” he spat, and both Damien and Oz flinched before they could get any more flustered (watching those two try to interact and connect was the funniest shit ever, everyone agreed). “So when I asked for you to hang out with me when I was doing my homework, do you remember what you told me? You told me to get fucked!”

Was it just me, or did Brian genuinely sound hurt? It must've not only been me, because Scott started to pout and put a gentle (albeit big and hairy) hand on Brian’s shoulder, which at least made Brian relax at his touch a bit (if anyone had the power of friendship at their fingertips, it was Scott). Even Liam looked up, vaguely distraught.

“That was only because you had Liam and Miranda over,” Damien, sniffing indignantly. “And if I went, I knew you wouldn't stop making heart eyes at Miranda, so I blew it off to commit tax fraud with Amira. But if you really wanted me to come, then you should've just, you should've just–”

Damien looked at a loss.

“Told him how you really felt?” Vicky prompted, and Damien snapped his fingers.

“Yes!” He exclaimed. “That.”

“What would you do then, Brian and Vera? If you had fifteen minutes?” Miranda asked this time, her eyes shining with curiosity.

“Spend all the millions I’ve earned to hire a gang and assassinate anyone who had ever crossed me,” Vera said without hesitating. “Then, I shall have them skinned and made into fabulous purses. And then I will sell those purses to earn me even more money, and use that to buy us all really expensive, furnished mansions, with servants and multicultural cuisines and everything, so we can live the rest of our lives in absolute luxury.”

Awww. That was actually quite adorable. Vera cares about our lifestyles too!

“And you plan to do this all in fifteen minutes?” Liam asked, deadpan.

“You'd be surprised at how efficient I am,” Vera sniffed, but I didn't think I'd actually be that surprised.

“Definitely not hang out with Damien,” Brian sniffed sourly after Vera had shared. “I guess try to finish off ransacking the new substitute’s office with horny epileptics with Vera. And then, I don't know. Relax and await my death.”

“Well, that's fucking depressing,” Polly murmured to me. “And I didn't know I was capable of getting depressed.”

I snorted. Was she still astounded about how somber Brian was?

“Wouldn't you still have to hang out with Damien to continue your plan with the horny epileptics, though?” Liam asked.

“Well, yeah, fine,” Brian said, not making eye contact with his demon friend (who was trying to make eye contact with him, and honestly, it was shocking how much Brian and Damien got into their own squabbles). “But I don't have to talk to him. That can be Vera’s job.”

“I'm not being your owl!” Vera hissed at him, and she actually hissed. Her small green snakes on her head did too, showing how much she detested the idea.

“What if you were paid?” Miranda queried, probably just out of curiosity, but Vera’s hissing ceased immediately.

Before Vera could discuss any specifics, Vicky butted in.

“I’ve thought about this one,” she said smugly, and no one was surprised. Number one, Vicky had thought about scenarios for everything. And number two, she probably would've thought of this before if she knew the song beforehand. “I would make it my life's goal to find the tastiest flavour of ice cream in all the dimensions! And once I find that ice cream, I will use a device that I would have Calculester make me, that clones the ice cream! And then I will bring all the ice cream back to this dimension and invite all of you guys over and we can eat the ice cream together!”

Everyone seemed to enjoy that idea, except one frowning ghost.

“Um, hello?” Polly asked, raising a hand and gesturing to herself. “Did you forget about me?”

“Of course not!” Vicky exclaimed emotionally. “Caculester is now working on a device that makes food into incorporeal substance that you can digest, Polly. Because, seriously, it breaks my heart that you can't eat. It really does.”

Polly seemed satisfied enough with that answer.

“How did you get Calculester to do that for you?” I ask.

Vicky winked. “Let's just say I turned on my unwavering charm to that library computer. And he didn't stand a chance.”

“If I had fifteen minutes left, I would want to be coronated,” Miaranda said, poshly. “I would invite you all to my coronation, of course. And then once I am mermaid queen I will throw an amazing national party for all of us to enjoy, whilst forcing my endless numbers of slaves to fight each other to the death for our entertainment! Oh, I can see it all coming together!”

Miranda’s expression turned dreamy, which was cute but also quite disturbing since she was thinking about bloodshed. Damien started to nod in approval, though. He seemed to like the idea. Bloody royals.

“I would want to take all of you to the park, where we can have a picnic, and hold hands, and give each other gifts to show how much we care for one another!” Scott said, his tail wagging happily. “And then we can sing songs and die happy with each other, knowing that we love us!”

Scott was so adorable, everyone looked misty-eyed. Vicky leapt up to wrap her arms around Scott, her affection for him seeming to be too overwhelming for her (Scott didn't complain, though). Brian was smiling, and seemed to forget about his brief argument with Damien, because now they were both grinning at each other. Liam was even beaming.

“Ew,” Vera finally said. “I can't believe you all liked that.” She pointed a finger at Scott. “Say that again and you will give me diabetes. I just hope you know that.”

But we all knew she secretly liked the sodding friendship story Scott came up with.

“What's diabetes?” Scott said, bushy eyebrows creasing.

“How about you, Amira?” Oz piped up, and all eyes were suddenly on me. “You haven't said what you would do.”

I mulled it over for a bit, but then spoke up without there being much mental contest.

“Probably make you all listen to the new Rex Orange County playlist,” I said, and Vicky and Damien sniggered.

“You're so predictable,” Vicky giggled.

“What can I say?” I shrug, breaking into a smile too. “My reputation precedes me.”

We all sit there in contented silence for a bit, just enjoying and treasuring one another.

“There's just one problem,” I said, drawing everyone's attention again. “How would we plan to do all of what we all want to do in fifteen minutes? Seems impossible.”

Brian started to smirk, and then Miranda started to smile, and soon Polly was also grinning.

“We’d figure it out,” Brian said. “I bet we would. We've already done so many impossible things in our weirdass lifetimes.”

I shared a smile with him.

“Yeah,” I said finally. “Fifteen minutes is nothing for us.”

[rogue-barnes-16]

SOMETHING ELSE

Request: May I please have a Roger Taylor imagine where you have really bad anxiety and he doesn’t know but he comes to see you having a panic attack and helps you and lots of fluff???

Pairing: Ben!Roger Taylor x Reader

Genre: angsty fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @serpentwithatardis

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: anxiety attack, some language

A/N: it took me soo long to finish this, I'm really sorry, I'm falling behind due to the exams. Also, I hope you enjoy, and about the rest of the requests, they're coming <3

ROGER'S P. O. V.

Y/n wasn't exactly shy.

She wasn't exactly quiet.

She wasn't exactly distant.

Y/n was something else.

I didn't notice that something the first time Deaky had introduced her to the group as a potential second vocal and piano player. At that moment she was just a melodic voice and a pretty face.

She soon became a member of the band, though, and the more time she spent with us, the better I got to know her, and the clearer it was for me that she was something else.

However, and even though I really tried for a while, we never turned out to be close friends —mostly because she seemed to avoid spending time with me alone—. Maybe she didn't like me that much, maybe I had rubbed her the wrong side.

"That was amazing" I commented when Y/n finished singing her part for Bohemian Rhapsody. "really beautiful"

"Thanks, Roger" she gave me a small smile whilst taking off the headset to give it to Freddie, who was the next to sing. "Your falsetto was very impressive"

"Thank you" I replied, helping Freddie with the microphone. When I turned to look at Y/n again, I saw her putting on her jacket. "Where are you going?" I asked confused.

"Oh, I need some air" she answered, grabbing her cigarette pack, along with a lighter. "too many hours in the studio"

"wait," I walked to the bench to grab my jacket "I'll go with you, I could use some air" before I reached the bench, though, we heard the door shutting and when I turned around, Y/n was nowhere to be found. "I... What the-" I shot a glance at Freddie, who was already looking at me. "why does she always do that?"

"why do you care that much, darling?" Freddie teased with a knowing smile on his face. When I stayed shut instead of replying with a snarky comeback, he let out a chuckle. "she told you, Rog. She needs air, give her a break."

After Freddie's teasing, I realized I really liked Y/n in a way I hadn't liked any girl before. Her amazing self was enough to attract all my attention like a moth drawn to the light.

It was due to the amount of attention I paid to her every day, that I felt terribly disappointed with myself when I finally got to know what was that something else in Y/n.

It was after our first press conference. It was more intense than we expected, and, even though most of the questions were for Freddie, a surprising amount were for Y/n too, related to the fact that she was the only girl in the band.

"Y/n, some people say that John was your boyfriend and that's how you got in the band." I first looked at Deaky and then at Y/n. "is that true?"

"who said that?" she asked, quite confused.

Before the previous reporter could keep talking, another one took their place. "Y/n, it is said that you're not attracted to men, what do you have to say about it?"

"I thought we were here to talk about our music?" Deaky asked, noticing that Y/n was getting uncomfortable.

"are you romantically involved with Roger Taylor?"

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "is there any bloody questions related to our songs?" I growled at the microphone.

"Is it hard to be a girl surrounded by men?"

"are you the one choosing the band's outfits?"

Another deep breath. Y/n rested her forehead against the palm of her hand while her foot tapped fast against the floor.

"do you get jealous when your band mates are seen with groupies?"

"are you open about being with more than one of your band mates?"

"fuckin' hell" her breathy whispered was too quiet for it to reach the microphone in front of her, but it was enough for me to hear it. "fuck fuck fuck fuck-" her breaths turned short and shaky.

"Y/n" I called her name, trying not to seem worried when I saw her eyes shutting and her jaw clenching. "Y/n..." the moment I put a hand on her knees to stop her leg from bouncing, her eyes opened widely.

"Okay, seems to me like you're in the mood to waste your opportunity to interview us" Freddie stated, hitting the table before getting up. "c'mon darlings, let's go"

"Lead the way Freddie" Brian stated, getting up to follow Freddie out of the press conference room. Deaky did the same, and Y/n and I followed him closely, leaving behind us the reporters' protests. "I already hate this part of our job."

"it's only the first" Deaky reminded Brian. "what are you planning on doing when-" he stopped talking when Y/n jogged past us and got into the bathroom. "shit."

"is she Okay?" Brian asked as we stopped walking to stare at the bathroom she had gotten in. "should we wait or...?"

"I... Think we should give her space" Freddie stated, gesturing us to keep moving to the exit. When they realized I wasn't following them, they stopped off once more. "Rog-"

"no" I plainly stated, making my way to the bathroom.

"she needs space" Deaky warned me.

I scoffed.

Space. She needs space. She needs air. She needs to be alone. She needs a moment.

"she needs a bloody friend, John" I retorted, stalking to the toilets' door. "you can go, but I'm staying." before they could reply anything else, I entered the toilets, closing the door behind me. "Y/n?"

I heard her before I saw her, since they were huge toilets.

I heard her gasping for air a couple of times before I rushed towards the noises. "Y/n-" her forehead was resting against the tiles of the wall, her chest going quickly up and down "are you-"

Her legs gave out and she felt on her knees, pressing one of her hands against her chest with her eyes wide open. "I c- I can't... I can't b-breathe" she tried to take a deep breath and she ended up gasping once more. "I-I-I- I'm I ca-"

It suddenly hit me, she was having an anxiety attack.

As soon as I realized that, I kneeled besides her, pulling her forearms for her to face me. "Y/n you have to- try... Try to breath deeply" I tried sounding as calm as possible, not wanting to make it worse with the fact that I was freaking out.

"I c- can't I-I'm sorry I-" she tried to do as I told her but she ended up gasping harder. "My chest hurts! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

She attempted to bend over and I made her sit up again, caressing her cheeks "Y/n, love, deep breaths okay? It's- it'll be over soon. Just- just take deep breaths" I moved closer to her, and, not knowing what else to do to calm her, I pulled to my chest.

"I can't-" she repeated, this time letting out a frustrated sob. "I'm sorry- I'm- I c- I'm sorry" she gripped the hems of my partially open shirt, attempting to hold onto something.

"You're gonna be okay" I whispered, rubbing circles on her back and trying to pull her even closer to me, something that was proven impossible when we only ended up almost lying on the floor. "it's just a moment, you'll be okay. Can you try to br-" she nudged her face against my chest and I couldn't feel her fresh tears on my bare skin, which made my heart break. "can you... Try to breathe deeply again?"

She nodded and I let one of my hands comb her hair. "o-okay... J-just... I-" she shifted slightly to rest only her forehead against my chest, before starting to take slow breaths.

I planted a kiss on the crown of her hair while she finally managed to slow down her breathing to an average rhythm. "see? You're okay" I whispered, letting her exhausted body rest over mine.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, loosening the grip on my shirt. "I'm really sorry... It's been a while since I had one as strong as this one."

I stayed in silence, processing what she had just told me, before speaking. "you... You have... Anxiety?" She nodded against my chest, not daring to look at me. "why didn't you tell us."

"I... Deaky knows" she whispered, shifting her position when I moved us to rest against the cold wall. "but I asked not to tell you all." she sighed. "I thought I had it under control. I didn't want you to see me... D-different?"

I moved her to be able to face her. "different as if... Fragile" she nodded at my guess, shunning my gaze. "Y/n? Does... Do you avoid me because of this?"

"I don't avoid-"

"you do" I argued, rapidly regretting it when I saw her shying away from me. "I'm sorry- this- this isn't the moment to talk about it, I'm sorry" I apologized raising my hands in surrender. "I just- I... Fuck I shouldn't be saying this but I- I really like you"

"I-" she opened her mouth a couple of times before she spoke. "I know... Freddie told me" I opened my eyes widely, feeling my cheeks reddening. "Sorry"

"fuck... See?" I questioned passing both my hands over my face. "I shouldn't have said anything, I knew you were avoiding me. I'm sorry... Can we pretend this didn't happen?" I dared to look at her and I saw her with her lips parted and her eyes dug into my form, making me blush even harder because bloody hell, she was so beautiful.

"You're blushing"

"I know, can you not say it out loud?" I groaned, covering my face once more. "shit." I felt her hands tugging mine, moving then away from my face before her lips brushed against mines. "what..."

"I didn't want you to deal with... This" she said, letting go of my hands, only for me to hold hers. "that's why I... Was avoiding you. That's also why I didn't say anything. Also because I don't think I'm your type and you're-"

"my type?" she whispered a doubtful 'yes' while my hands moved to hold her hips, rubbing circles with my thumbs over them. "I've never liked a girl the way I like you, Y/n. I don't know what's my type, but you for sure are above all that shit" it was her time to blush. "If you want to try... I'm down for it."

She started to chew her lower lip and I leaded one of my thumbs to her lips, to stop her from doing that. "I mean... Even with the anxiety thing?"

"yeah"

"well then..." she inhaled deeply before nodding. "okay. We can try... Because I really want to."

A smile former on my lips and I leaned on, capturing her lips on another kiss. "thanks for giving me a chance" I whispered, looking at her eyes.

She smiled back and rested her forehead against my chest once again, this time feeling peaceful instead of distressed.