#also my sister's been talking to some ugly creepy guy who apparently goes to that school. hoping she drops him and i never have to see him

[fardf150]

start school in a week im going to throw uppppp

[calleo-bricriu]

Why do I keep doing this?

It’s nearly over, there are fewer than 100 pages left in the horrid thing after this one.

((Oh also, these few chapter contain a hell of a lot of really casual racism mostly against Native Americans and whatever “half-breeds” are, because that’s not specified.))

Okay, chapter 18 starts with finding out that the stroke didn't kill Mother it did, of course, exactly what Mizpra wanted: Left her a mostly paralysed invalid.

Despite that, she's written as still being pretty mentally lucid, just not physically capable of doing much but being propped up in a chair facing a window. Now somehow she's being called "The mother of Leigh" instead of Mrs. Newcomber.

Anyway, she's staring out the window, occasionally being annoyed by the fact that her nurse is a "strange and harsh woman" and how she's a toy of Mizpra's now somehow.

It's also somehow "perverted" of Mizpra to let her mother reminisce about when she was younger but okay.

Watching birds is supposed to make one cry; I'm guessing mabye I watch birds incorrectly because, while interesting, I've never really felt any sort of urge to cry over them.

Mizpra evidently thinks, "partially paralysed from a stroke" means "also deaf" and is now always written shouting right into her mother's ear. Also, she was sick of her mother watching birds because "the mist will soon commence to fall" whatever that means.

Back to insulting Mizpra again, "With her energy, moral palsy, masculine effrontery, and unbridled control of a large fortune, she moved the men and women around her." He's writing that like it's a bad thing.

I mean, it'd be a lot easier to dislike her if he focused on the things she's done rather than the fact that the author just thinks she's a little too "masculine" because, really, by this point we know she stripped down a teenage girl in front of her class to berate her about wearing corsets, married a guy just because he knew how to use a typewriter, and planned her mother's stroke and had the thought of, "It'd be super inconvenient if she dies but whatever, I'll make it work if that happens." You know, legitimate reasons to dislike someone.

"There was not enough of sex instinct in her to enjoy being flattered as a woman," well, who the hell could blame her? Flatter her based on the abilities she's shown, none of which are remotely terrible (by modern standards at any rate).

The author doesn't seem to think highly of women as doctors either because the first one described is, "one of the big-footed, short-haired kind" you know, manly.

Oh, but, "a mild sort of fellow-feeling--not womanly--brought about business arrangements between Mizpra and the female physician."

This is such an exhausting book to read; no wonder so few copies still exist, even in reprint. Normally, I can’t get enough of getting my hands on and reading rare books that only have one or two copies still left anywhere but this? This one is a harsh reminder that some books may actually be better off eventually fading completely from anyone’s memory.

"The older inhabitants of the surrounding country had become interested in Mizpra. The Spaniards, Mexicans, half-breeds, and Indians, all bigoted and ignorant, were now singing her praises." I'm--pretty sure the only bigoted and ignorant one here is the author.

MOVING ON.

Oh look, someone brought her one of her Genius Brother's books: "Insanity in the Adolescent Caused by Religious Rites and Mysticism in the Catholic Church," by Leigh Newcomber, M.D.

There's also a typo in the book that the editor apparently missed, "It had been a distressing day for Mizpra, and she was ugly in mood, and agitated in feeelings."

Feeelings.

""I saw a pretty Indian girl to-day. I'll have as many as--" at this moment the blood rushed to her heavy cheeks and her hands and feet began to feel cold. She grasped the back of a chair to steady herself for a moment, then strode to the bed to throw herself down upon it."

Well, that came out of nowhere. Pun intended.

So now she's going to pretend she's Catholic and devote her time and money to teaching "the Indian and half-breed girls". I'm just going to assume she's moved beyond stabbing sleeping men with scarf pins and is moving on to--that.

Ordinarily, that wouldn't be all that off-putting sounding if not for the use of the term "half-breed" and girls. Girls--that often indicates that they're not adults.

Anyway, she gets a telegram presumably from Rev. Bald indicating he's ruined Leigh's life but, since I've read the previous chapters and the author is about as predictable as the tides, I'm going to assume Leigh sent the telegram and is planning a surprise visit.

Oh look, more casual racism: "An Indian lad, a protege of Father Francisco, arrived at the house with a note from that priest. He was a fine specimen of his race; lithe, bright-eyed, and cunning." He also doesn't like Mizpra, probably because she keeps calling people half-breeds and savages.

Wonderful! He even talks in a perfectly stereotypical racist manner, "Big bone squaw. Too much talk. Want chief."

So, she asks when "the woman" arrived at the priest's house, he answers, "Yes, bad squaw come."

Which makes her angry because he apparently said it in a defiant tone so she grabbed him and demands he explain why she's bad and if he doesn't she'll have him flogged.

I can't exactly parse the racist as hell way he's writing this kid but it seems something to do with an Indian who converts to Catholicism gets salvation?  

So Mizpra slaps him because that's a rational reaction but then he keeps talking and I have no idea what the hell is going on, "Indian boy understand. He white squaw no Christ squaw; Indian boy no white papoose. He squaw, look out."

He leaves, no further explanation, time skp three days later from "Rev. Bald" who basically details what Bald had intended to do but ended up getting tag teamed by Leigh and a prostitute. So, definitely Leigh writing that letter. I mean it also said that Mops was poisoned (diphtheria, for the last. fucking. time. infects you; the bacteria can produce toxins, which are what can cause the range of symptoms, some of which can be fatal, so unless you're just injecting the produced C. diphtheriae toxins right into someone, you are not poisoning anyone by exposing them to diphtheria, you are infecting them and I know that seems like semantics but the author is a doctor and should know better than to think infect and poison are the same thing) and died.

Anyway, Mizpra believes the letter is from Rev. Bald, so I'm sure that'll end well for her.

"Mizpra had but one thought, one passion now; that was, to wallow in her perverted pleasures to the saturating point of satiety." All right.

Chapter 19 begins with "The reader has probably already surmised from the letter received by Mizpra that Bald had recovered."

In the sense that he wasn't dead, yeah, I guess.

Leigh told the hospital Bald was hit by a trolley car and Bald is just, "Well, since I can't remember what happened, that must be correct!"

So Leigh shows up the next day because Rev. Bald is his patient and the first thing the author does is write something creepy in the narrative, "Leigh now noticed a distinct refinement in Bald's features. he was pale, and the whilom sensuous lips had lost some of their grossness."

Who--thinks like that? So he sits there watching Bald sleep for awhile then leaves after leaving some magazines and "a basket of luscious fruit".

Weirdo.

Nurse starts in with some story about how Leigh lost his wealth or something, then Leigh shows up again and Bald immediately goes turncoat on Mizpra.

So Leigh decides that Mizpra is "undoubtedly mentally ill" and "he would see her placed where she could no longer do injury to herself o rothers."

And they’re headed to California; of course, Leigh had Bald write the telegram and letter to tell Mizpra her plan went off flawlessly.

Predictable writing.

Leigh insists the issue is that Mizpra is insane, not a criminal, and that she's "not responsible for her actions". I mean, mentally ill or not, she's still responsible for her own actions unless someone else is forcing her hand, which they are not. That's been made clear.

Only about 100 pages left, thank everything.

Now they're talking about one of the other sisters, the older one who married a lawyer. That turned into a rambling story about how the lawyer "misappropriated" funds and somehow that landed them under having to get an allowance from Mizpra.

Chapter 20 appears to be Leigh is Stressed and Wants a Drink.

Manages to get home without doing that and apparently Obera's only method of showing support is to just fling herself around and cry.

"Leigh went to work instantly to eliminate the poison which his faulty nervous system had allowed to accumulate in his body and thus produce a self-intoxication." ...what?

He calls Dr. Bell to come and write something to Bald and Leigh has to be whiny about it, "Well, I don't believe you or any other man can understand what I suffer."

Please stop being 13 at some point, Leigh, you are an adult.

Now he's relating his life to Poe's stories and needs to stop--but I guess this book is where the whole "psychic incubus" thing came from because he's talking about one now.

And that sort of drifted in to him rambling incessantly about Edgar Allen Poe and how Leigh is just like that, only with more friends and less good writing, I guess.

I might have added the last two things.

Dr. Bell insists on heading out to California with Bald and Leigh and that's the end of that chapter.

It was 85% Leigh rambling on about Edgar Allen Poe while saying very little about him and just sort of quoting random bits of his work.

No surprise the author of the book had a weird obsession with the same thing.

[purple-moonlights-blog]

STRAY KIDS 10th MEMBER AU

INTRODUCTION

This AU is heavily inspired by @k-llama-llama ! If you don’t know her I highly suggest checking out her blog, she and her writings are really sweet (also some good drama just started in her AU). 🌸

I’m not 100% sure where I’m going with this AU, so please feel free to request and suggest what could happen. I really want to take in ideas from people who are interested in the story. Don’t be shy loves! ♥︎ 

☾☼ 

Btw. I didn’t use her name until the very end because my dumb ass forgot to give her a name.

Also, in this scenario, Stray Kids themselves aren’t very present since it didn’t really fit. However, I promise that next time will be a lot of Stray Kids content! 

▸ Check out the Profile HERE

▸ Request for the AU HERE

▸ MASTERLIST

Words: 2342

Warnings: Swearing?⎮ And weird grammar and spelling mistakes, English is not my native language⎮

I. NEW 〈NOVA〉

(gif not mine)

With her eyebrows knitted together and her upper-lip slightly twisted up, an expression her friend David stated to be her “trying to be polite but can’t help but judge“ look - or in other words, her being a twat visage - she stared at the man, probably in his mid-thirties, in front of her. 

For the past five minutes he spoke very fast and in a very strong Satoori accent, she had difficulties to understand, and thereby wildly gesticulate with his arms. The longer he talked the more he began to sweat and looked noticeably more nervous. She wasn’t intentionally trying to be rude by not saying a word the whole time, even though she was more than once encouraged to respond to his rambling. However, due to her having a hard time progressing what he was saying - her Korean might be quite good, thanks to her mum compelling her and her brothers too Korean lesson since the early beginnings of their childhood, yet she only learned standard Korean - and immediately doubting what he was saying to be true, she kept her mouth shut until she had a clear picture of what was going on. From what she could grasp, the man was responsible to recruit trainees for entertainment companies, which in the end should turn them in successful idols, that bring big profits and put the companies into positive spotlights. 

He explained that he was from JYP and that Park Jinyoung personally placed in order, after allegedly seeing a video of a street performance of her dancing and singing, to track her down and convince her to audition for his company. He further explained that JYP - the company - planned to form an idol group in the upcoming month of October through a survival show and JYP - the person - wanted her in it because she would in his opinion fit perfectly into the concept. 

Bullocks, she instantly thought when he told her that. 

She didn’t believe a word coming from his mouth. Yes, it was true that she appeared in multiple videos of street performances that are posted on YouTube, however, she was neither an outstanding dancer nor a Whitney Huston, at least in her opinion. The more he talked the more it sounded like the plot of a Wattpad fanfiction and as the result of her distinct sense of reality, which often came across as her being pessimistic, she knew stuff like that doesn’t happen in real life. It’s called Fan Fiction after all.  

The whole story sounded like a lie somebody, who kidnaps young girls and boys for human trafficking by exploiting their naivety and their dreams to make it big once, would tell. By that, she suddenly remembered her 14 years old cousin Junsuh conspiracy theory rant about the Korean entertainment industries. Two weeks ago she visited her relatives in Ilsan, where her Junshu, as usually, didn’t stop talking. According to Junsuh, the industry is through and through corrupt - a single stronghold of prostitution rings, human trafficking, child exploitation and even religious cults and a secret origination that controls the whole south of Korea. 

Even though Junsuh tends to get carried away with his theories - she strongly doubted, that one of the big three companies (he refused to tell which one) pays a religious cult to use black magic on the public, so they will only buy the albums of their artists - however, that it wasn’t only glamorous and that pressure and hard work take big role in the idols life, wasn’t a secret. 

Earning her livelihood through music has always been a dream for her. From small on she loved to sing - back then extremely out of tune - and dance around. When in 2008 her cousin Jia (Junsuh’s older sister), while she and her family visited their relatives in Korea, showed her Shinee’s debut MV Replay, she fell in love. Immediately she learned the dances and lyrics to the songs and dreamed of being an idol herself. The combination of vocal, rap and dance fascinated her. 

Yet, after time passes and she got older, her initial spirit disappeared almost completely. More and more she realized that she didn’t fit into the standard female idol category. Beginning with her appearance ending with her personality. She wouldn’t call herself a tomboy since she despite her boyish tendency still liked typical girly stuff. In end, she always thought of separating certain things in a boy and girl category as stupid. 

One day, her aunt took her to the toy store when she was made 5 years old. She asked her aunt if she could have Hot Wheels for her birthday present. The saleswoman, however, who should help her to find something, asked if doesn’t want something that is more fitting for a girl. Her five-year-old self suddenly feeling insecure choose a creepy doll, which the sale woman suggested - she ended up giving the creepy doll to the family dog to play with. 

„Look, you don’t need to say yes right now. But please just come to JYP building tomorrow for the audition. Well, it’s not really an audition, you are basically already in. You just need to say yes.“ The sudden change to a clean Seoul accent made her startle up from her thoughts. The man in front of her got now her full attention. He almost looked desperate. 

It is probably favorable for his career if he gets me to come to the “audition“. South Korea is highly competitive after all, she guessed

„Okay.“

„It doesn’t take long either you….wait, what?“

„I said, okay. When should I be there?“ He looked at her seemingly being genuinely surprised to hear her agree. Sure, she only accepted because she felt bad for him. Also, her class started in 5 minutes and she simply didn’t want to be rude and refuse after his effort. Nonetheless, the fact that he knew her name and where she went to University, still creeped her out. 

„Umm, well 10 a.m. Wait in front of the building, I will escort you in.“

„Good, I will be there.“ She said and then added quickly before she went ahead to run to the other side of the campus to still be on time for her class. „Have a good day.“

————

 At 09:30 a.m. sharp she was in front of the JYP building. She always tended to come over punctual, mainly because she included the time she will need in case anything goes wrong by her taking the bus - a short 25-minute ride - from Seongdong District on the north bank of the Han River to Gangnam District, which lies on the south side of the Han River. 

Traffic jam, traffic collision, plane crashes, nuclear attacks, apocalypse and what so ever. Her constant nagging anxiety back in her head made her throw her common sense out of the window more than once. 

Certainly, she didn’t expect anything, she highly doubted that the apparent JYP staff member was being legit. Either somebody was playing a prank on her or one of Junsuh’s theories will be confirmed and she is going to be sold. 

In a girl group, she would stand out and not in a good way like a pretty flower would. No, she would stand out like a purulent pimple in the middle of one’s forehead. Not like she was particularly ugly or different looking. The fact that she was not special looking was the issue. In general, she was glad about that. She was never big on being the center of attention. However, in the entertainment industry, like it or not, talent is not everything. And her being as interesting as an empty sheet of paper, surley didn’t take a chance. 

After awkwardly standing around for good 25 minutes, somebody came out of the building. She immediately recognized him as the man from yesterday. 

He wasn’t lying about working for JYP then, she thought. 

As he looked to his left and saw her standing there, he sighed with relief and beckoned her over to him. By his reaction, she assumed that he obviously didn’t believe that she will come. But she was not the type to do tell somebody she would be there and then shamelessly not come without giving the other person a notice.    

„You won’t regret this, believe me.“ He said as they walked through the lobby to the elevator. „They really want you in this group.“ Who he meant with they, she wasn’t sure. He chuckled awkwardly since she didn’t respond to anything he said but rather she just nodded and gave him a forced smile. Again, she wasn’t trying to be rude, for sure not, after all in her family having good manners was an essential part. Her very English grandmother would personally fly to Korea and beat her ass if she was being rude. 

In the elevator were already three guys, she guessed them around her age, absorbed in a discussion about, from what she could understand, song lyrics. 

„Listen, I swear it’s good.“ Said the guy, with the darkest hair of the three of them. „You can be Fiona today, I’ll be Shrek. Ugly kind immature swag.“

She snorted and quietly chuckled to herself. The guy closest to her with silver, curly hair her, who heard her laugh, looked over to her. He raised his brow’s at first and then gave her a shy smile, which she returned.

On the fifth floor, they left the elevator and male staff knocked two times on the first door in the hallway, before he opened it and showed with a quick hand gesture that she should follow him. In the room was big glass table where three men already sat. She immediately recognized the man seated in the middle. 

 It’s JYP, It really was not a joke after all.

„Ah, there she is. Please take a seat.“ JYP said and gestured on the chair opposite of him. She bowed and sat down. 

After he asked the staff member to leave he continued: „I’m really glad you are here. When I saw your performance I know you will fit perfectly.“ 

„I was told, if I would accept the offer, I will participate in survival show, right?“ She asked, slowing starting to feel excited. Even though, she gave up on her dream of being an idol a long time ago - better said, she never really tried in the first place. Deep down she still wanted to achieve that and such an opportunity she couldn’t refuse. Even if that meant she had to change herself to fit in. 

„Yes, exactly. I really hope you take this chance. Even though you don’t have a training period as the other trainees participating, I believe you have potential.“

„Okay, I’m in. Where do I have to sign“ she said, full of newly found elan. The three men chuckled surprised about her sudden enthusiasm.

„The formalities we will sort out later.“ JYP answered, „Stray Kids, the name of the group you might debut in, has currently nine male trainees, which your leader Bang Chan handpicked himself.“

„Boys?“ She questioned confused.

„Yes, the management and I decided by making Stray Kids a co-ed group it will be more favorable in the future.“ He continued undeterred. She had to stop herself from making a snarky comment and asking them if they are trying to be edgy be doing that. 

There is no need to act like a twat right now!

„But none of our female trainees fit in Stray Kids. So, I was obviously pleased when I found you. I hope I’m not going to regret this.“ The last part sounded bitter and her previous enthusiasm was slowly suppressed by the anxiety creeping up her throat, making her feel sick.  

She didn’t want to back away now. 

Maybe it’s better to be in a male-dominated group. It’s not like I fit in a girl group either, she tried to calm herself down mentally. 

However, the fact that all other trainees were chosen by Stray Kids leader personally and that she basically was being forced onto them, made her feel like she was going to vomit. 

„They are already informed about your addition to the group. In fact, I want them to get to know you right now. Teamwork is important and the faster you warm up to each the better!“ With that, he stood up, bowed to his colleges and told her to follow him. She bowed to the older men too and left after JYP.

„The kids are probably in the practice room right now. Since they got the chance to debut, they have been prating twice as hard.“ He said, obviously proud about the trainee’s dedication. „I heard they are very excited to meet you.“

Bollocks! I will be extremely out of place. No way any of them are excited for a possible female member. 

Despite, her anxiety she didn’t wanna give up this time. She can’t just run away every time there was a construction put in her way. At last, trying wasn’t going to kill. 

They went down to the second floor. At the end of the hallway, JYP opened the wooden door to the practice room and stepped in. As JYP and she entered, four guys who sat on the floor rushed to stand up and joined five other guys to bow to their CEO. Some looked very young to her. She would have guessed at least two of them fifteen years old at most.

„Please introduce yourself to them,“ JYP told her and encouraged her with a quick hand gesture to step in front. 

All eyes were on her now. Some of them seemed curious, others just stared at her expressionless. And then, there was the guy with the silver hair from the elevator. He looked at her like he wanted to burn her down with his gaze. She honestly couldn’t take offense at that. Like, she understood his seeming dislike of her. 

„My Name is Seol Nova and I hope we can work well together.

[marxiehodgeheg]

Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please. 

Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no

the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this

also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky

white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway. 

he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked 

oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18 

so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light 

best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again

white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more 

theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15 

also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway 

he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant 

legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING

he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what 

HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS 

FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK 

by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean 

dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister) 

MORE SWEARING >:(

theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them 

white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay) 

comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”

HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU

its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him 

ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES 

Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this 

angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad 

AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS

you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that

okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what 

HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY

OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™” 

BUT IT GETS BETTER 

HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS 

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!

so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air

“can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask” 

she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt 

cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked 

then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right 

theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world

of course its Kira like what else is it going to be

“Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE 

im so fucjing done with this film 

but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING

news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys 

were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club 

hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L

nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime 

white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage 

Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed 

white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????

L is introdu--

L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED 

“rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim 

movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L 

nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L

he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L 

WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE

finally found out Misa Misa replacements name 

its Mia

some cops walked off a building 

i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention 

“if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE

L and Light meeting in a cafe 

L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table 

“youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u 

white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped 

she begs for him back 

she pulls out the i love you card 

it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out

Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE

apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit

L is angry, he is so smad 

L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS 

but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L

homecoming dance - really 

Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it” 

have what idk

Ls old kids home is creepy™

white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK 

it was a decoy trick wow

oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE 

Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA

Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful 

oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note 

nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking

she still fucked him over tho

L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car 

theres a mangled L theme going on i swear

smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L 

L finds white!light and chases him on foot

L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING 

PARKOUR 

L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM 

now white!light has the gun

news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it 

its sad™

OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING

theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously 

oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame 

bye Mia, bye white!light 

oop Mia is dead 

L is okay 

white!light is in the water 

some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up 

white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him

 memories of dead girlfriend™

father just now realised that his son is Kira

WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART 

L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira

Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting 

and then get this 

IT FUCING ENDS 

WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE 

but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits 

more mangled L theme

im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well 

Death Note 2017 whats that? 

[ramblingshit]

The Woman in Black - 1989 - 3/10

looks like the 1980s but with somewhat older-style outfits; exposition mutherfuckerrrrrr;

very slow, fluffy script; oh got the cut is just forward and back as they speak, now we’re close flipping forward and back when its their turn to speak i’m dying. exposition, telling other characters what the audience has already heard; each of these scenes are far too long with so much fluff, Jesus Christ the cuts just throw us into a completely different place with no transition its so abrupt and the jump cuts are infinitely worse fuck half of these are like .5 seconds long, they’re so basic its crazy. some j cuts all of the sudden and some decent direction all of the sudden on this indoors scene wtf lol. then back to awful cuts, apparently just outside and between scenes.

i can’t even focus on the story because there’s so much nonsense filming, writing and acting and jfc.

the 2012 version is only 5 minutes less but this one reaaaaally feels like its length while the 2012 one does not.

the house is just a grey house in a simple marsh, unassuming, boring to look at, the birds chirp, there’s a half-sunken cemetery nearby, the woman in blacks just standing there in broad daylight with a lil hat on her head, her skin like yellow tinted with red around her eyes kinda lookin like the wicked witch of the west, just staring casually at him they giving her a mid-shot and a close-shot and all, got some crooked shaped eyebrows, i think she’s angry? I’d be angry too with that ugly ass velvet donut on my head; she slowly sorta makes her way a few steps toward him, he sprints off and locks the door then turns on all the electrical lights in the house and seems alright; the rooms are tiny and clean cause she only just died (woman in black’s sister) - it’s really not scary - all white and beige with floral designs, boring frames with dark protraits; reminds me of the rooms at the thornton’s house and other old bedrooms i stayed in as a kid; fuck he’s really turning every single light on. he’s drinking again. we’re half an hour in and he’s messing around with some sort of recorder whistling into it and shit - omfg i thought that was leading up to a scare but no. telling the clues of the mystery in these weird cylinder recordings instead of the 2012 letters? he’s drinking again. WHOA hey we got an establishing shot and its a red-bricked house three stories tall with a big ass entrance way and pointed roofs and lots of windows am i missing something wait what happened to the grey house. there’s no scary music, its all light, there’s no suspense its like well here we are, now we’re here, now the marsh is water, there’s fog and horses and he’s nervous and there’s horses and women and children screaming yikesss ol mate looks mildly nervous, they must have hired him for his scared running and dramatic turns, NOW THE HOUSE HAS GREEN VINES ALL OVER IT. i mean he seems passionate about his role he’s tryin his hardest thats for sure. half of its filmed like a stage show - where’d the dog go. continuity needs to like actually be a thing. why do these candles have hats they’re on beautiful candelabras and now there’s more alcohol. for epople who have a butler and a maid on stand-by their tablecloth looks like a crumpled sheet and the lampshades look like they were picked up from the tip and they’re fkn crooked for godssake. we’re 46 minutes in and theres been maybe 25 minutes of actual story. he ran because he was afraid and that sits wrong with him so he wants to go back - now he’s ‘brave but not brave enough’. stubborn muthafucker. his rational friend is like lol you’re a moron, take my dog as companion he’s called spider for some reason. jesus fuck the cuts they get me everytime they’re scarier than anything else i’ve seen. unsurprised i could see the shadow of the camera. oh okay the grey house is the generator room out back that makes more sense. locked doors, ring of many keys but no key will turn. completely wasted mirror angles that were making me actually kinda anxious waiting to see something in them like damn son wasted opportunity. thrilling to watch this guy go through wads of paper not really looking at anything just pushing them around the great lawyer he is conveniently only finding and looking at plot-relevant things. kid crying mummy mummy while the lady just screams horribly - OMG NOW HES telling the recording exactly what we just heard and saw fuck sakee i love this movie its so dumb spoon feeding everyone - naw spider in his beeeeddd 10/10 best actor. nothing scary has actually happened other than weird lady staring constipatedly at him. he out here gon break his shoulder - sprint sprint sprint PACE PACE PACE – THE DOOR IS OPENNNNN ooohhwuuuhohhh and now he has an axe. he’s a fuck load more of a scardey cat than my main man harry potter and its the nursery - A BALLLLLLLL fell from the SKYYYYY and he doesn’t seem too fazed lmao. spiders just chillin on a chair like yep you’re in trouble. creepy old dolls. a kid just said 'hello’ and laughed, like friendly. 'hello?’  and put a toy in his hand. this is actually interesting. whoops the lights have gone out - PROBS CAUSE HE TURNS THEM ALL ON. nothing even scary happened, the kid said hi and clearly wanted to play then he sprinted away and now is panicking trying to find a torch where is he going its not even that dark back at the generator. cause god forbid- - OMG HE:S LITERALLY GO TTHE WHOLE HOUSE LIT UP mate why do you think it all went out omg im crying he’s freaking out about spider running off oh nah nevermind he’s fine lololol he was freakingggg outttt and then just chills immediately and goes back inside. i love this guy he’s trying so hard. the 70s lampshades are swinging from the roof. would be more eerie if it were actually dark and nah gonna just move over that back to him telling the recording exactly what we just saw. every fucking light. every FUCKING LIGHT. he’s lucky he doesn’t have to pay for electricity. this is the third time we’ve heard this crash and the kid and the lady screaming and he’s going angry about it cause its very noisy and he’s lost his mate’s dog whoops. lol whoops his mate found his own dog half drowned in the marsh and is just chill with it. wait this has all happened in a day?? this fuckin guy. ol mates got him rugged up and getting him outta there cause he collapsed in fright from finding the nursery trashed. that’s it. like yeah its spooky but come on man. is this the climax of the movie??? we an 1hr12min in. think they’re only breifly and vaguely mentioning that to see her means a kid will die and has died - how the fuck are you supposed to make her fearsome if you declaw her and take away that which threatens people: the fact she’s out there causing kids to die. floral bed covers. are they seriously not even going to show the dead kid. they’re just chatting. and again wa– holy fuck these people shes like neeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrhhh with a hogwarts cloak on and short curly hair with that yellow face and crooked brows, and he’s got his arms over his face, eyes shut just lying on his bed screaming - fuckin close ass shots i can see up their noses. now he’s taken ill poor mate. also he’s in a different bed?? and now he’s awake and talking some whack shit. has anyone called his wife yet lol. an awesome shot of just him sleeping. and another one. who’s this lady? oh its his wife. what’s she doing here i guess they did call her ahahaha. everything is so bright and blue and white where is the deeeeeath how is any of this scary its just so much chilling out and chatting and lol bye hope you get better have fun talking men. what. the house burned down? what. ol mate seems suss. HE’S SUSS. ol mate definitely burned that shit to the ground. who knows why he didn’t really seem sold on the whole thing but ya know. now they’re wearing like any old clothes they can find. and there’s a soldier too. and they’re training off into the sunset. that woman is not old enough to be this guy’s mother. what. we have cake time. pointless pointless scenes. ooooooooooooooooooooooo he got the ptsd from the horse clackity clack. no woman with hair that perfect sleeps without it in rolls or covered, not back then lol. where’s the deatttttthhh. oooohweeerrroooooo. whats in the box in the box whats in the box todayyy. acting is always 10/10 with this guy, especially the angst and strong emotions. he really doesn’t care for actually investigating these many papers he’s got in these boxes. um. he was in his office. and then the next scene was him entering his office and hanging up his jacket in his office????? wot. THE PAPERS AREN’T IN THE FIREPLACE MATE THEY’RE OUTSIDE OF IT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD HES MAD HES SETTING THE OFFICE ON FIRE HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKK MATE. dude you are so fired. fireman is like yeah i found this jerry can of parrafin you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you. omg omg he’s attacking his boss this is so exciting. i think he’s fired lol. can’t believe he’s not been arrested. what do you tell your wife lmao. how do you get references for another job in this career. her hair is so perfect. she wants to talk, he silences her with a kiss, conversation moves on, he silences her with another kiss - typical. now they’re boating. there’s 3 minutes left. are they gonna drown. omg the jumpcuts. SHES STANDING ON WATER. SHES JESUS. ahahhahahahahAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA DEATH BY TREEEEEEEEEE and i think they did drown omg ahahah my guy, wife kid and baby. that’s fuckin dark. last literally 1 minute of the movie just kill everyone off. what a shit fest i love it.

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

(( I am truly sorry for how large this profile is, but I guess this is my problem. I just created too much backstory for him. I’m kind of embarrassed about sharing him because it was a little out of my villain range. I have a feeling I put too much into this character and he’s just too much. I need help with explaining who he is in general.

For some backstory, He is a Character in the story that my cousin and I have created. It takes place in 2036, but in the Netherworld, which is just a place where demons and supernatural beings live. The names of other people are just other characters in my story.

I have no real way to explain what an Avvoltoi is, but they are always there and they will do anything.

Binding in this universe is when you create a soul connection with someone that you trust. This act is exclusively for demons and the only way to unbind is by one of the partners dying. In this situation, both parties are immortal, so they are permanently with eachother.

Nazzaereno does not remember his human name, which is why I refer to him and his brother in their new names in their history. Image created and edited by me on the Sims 4 ))

Name: Nazzaereno Abategiovanni

Real Name: “Sette” or “Seven”

Aliases: The Vulture, Severen Adesso, Tony Chairo. He sometimes goes by Nazz.

Gender: Goes by He/Him or She/Her Pronouns.

Sexual Orientation: Unknown

Age: He could be over 900 years old, but they know that he is the youngest Avvoltoi in his family.

Ethnicity: He is Italian.

Species: Avvoltoi

Birthplace: Poveglia, Venice, Italy

Occupation: He is a servant, assassin, or slave of some sorts. He is also a professional killer, and a hunter.

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Affiliations: The Avvoltoi, and he is loyal to whoever owns him at the time. Family: The Mother raised him and he learned his fighting techniques from the Father. There are actually 100 other Avvoltoi who lived with him, but he was not allowed to know their names. They were numbered and he was very close to “Cinque” or “5”. She would be called his closest friend though. Uno is his blood related brother. Their age difference is that Uno is 17 years older than him.

Best Friends: Akhenaton Ralïs- Their relationship is very strange. He thinks of Ahken as a friend and he will listen to him but he also tells people that Ahken owns him. They were part of Queen Akeldama’s elite forces and they were the two that she sent on the most missions. By default he will do anything that he says and he has no issue with being told what to do by him.

Cinque- Cinque was to him, his sister. She protected him from the others and he followed her around on missions for a while until she was banished by The Mother.

Theon Tarquanis- He never realized this but they were soldiers together during WWII. They were roommates and they hung out with each other because they both spoke Italian. He hangs out with him now in the Netherworld.

Relationship Status: He is in a relationship with Emory Kensington. He finds him interesting because for some reason he can easily read him.

Significant Other: NA

Other Relationships: He is currently not on speaking terms with his other “siblings” and if he ever got the chance to meet them again then he would try to kill them.

Height: 6'3

Weight: 213 lbs

Build: Athletic and lean. As he describes himself, he has a “body that is sure to hold someone’s interests”.

Skin Tone: Deep tan, with gold undertones. A weird thing is that towards the tips of his toes and fingers they look black like a birds.

Hair: Jet black, long and “weird”. His bangs and sides are bone straight but towards the ends at the back his hair curls slightly. It’s sometimes ear length though, but it really depends on his mood.

Eyes: His eyes are metallic gold, and his pupils are vertical like a cats. He also has two vertical scars underneath them, the left being longer.

Identifying Marks: He has very sharp, white teeth, almost to the point where they are hyper white and his eyes are kind of hard to stare at because they are piercing.

Appearance: Nazzereno is known as being “the Ugly one” in his family. He frequently changes his appearance, but when he is in his “neutral” form, he has a distinctive face. He looks as if he is anywhere between 17 to 25 years old, and to humans he has a rather “angelic” appearance. Along his body he does have black tattoos that are symbolic and written in a foreign language. His hair is usually waist length, thick and it parts down the middle, but when he is upset, it is much shorter and in his face. His eyes are gold, but around them he has faint eyeshadow and full lashes. He has dark eyebrows that are rather expressive and full lips. His skin is always a dark tan complexion, and he has never been known to change his skin tone or anything. He smiles a lot which does creep people out, and he happens to have straight teeth that are obscenely white with long canines and molars. In his “masculine” appearance he looks like a guy with thick, upswept hair and Hazel eyes, in his “feminine” appearance, he looks the same but with wavy hair and hazel-green eyes. His “child” form is a smaller version of himself but with dark brown eyes and shorter hair. He can also turn into a raven or a black dog with yellow hair on its tail. Various tests have been conducted, and apparently his clothes are made of the same material as his skin, so he can change his outfits rather quickly if he needs to and he always seems to be wearing black. When he’s not disguised, his outfit consists of a black, backless form fitting material that ends in boots and black gauntlets. He has black raven feathers on the shoulders and back, and he has a tasset. It goes down to his knees and flows like a small train.

Personality: Although it is hard to describe, Nazzereno has a rather strange personality. It is almost as if he has bits and pieces of different personalities that converge to make his own personality. He is almost always friendly, but friendly to the point where he comes off as being a bit creepy. He also seems to be a bit bored, which is why he takes the weirdest contracts. He seems to be searching for one that can really hold his attention and interests. He is highly intelligent and perceptive and he uses this to his advantage. He also has a very interesting way of talking to people which is something that many others notice. He always talks like he is convincing you that whatever you want is the most important thing in the world and you deserve it, no matter what. It is noted that when he is really bored, he does some really strange things that people find odd. One time he spent 10 years as a dog, another time he decided to be a soldier in World War II and he fought with the Americans, and he even pretended to be a woman’s child for a few years. He also has a reputation for being rebellious. He never listens to The Mother of The Father because he questions them constantly. He is frequently punished for this.

Motivations: He just wants some fun in his life.

Current Goal: To stay alive and to do his job as perfectly as possible.

Life Goal: To be serve his masters as best as he can.

Motto: “Io sono tuo, maestro ”.

Best Quality: He will get anything done, no matter how crazy it sounds.

Worst Quality: Once you make a contract with him, its better to keep up your oath because if not, he will come after you. Another thing is that you can’t let an Avvoltoi get bored. They tend to be very destructive if they have nothing to do.

Likes: Reading, his swords, blood, and video games. He is also attached to this pair of sunglasses that he owns. He also does drugs, not because he’s addicted, but because drugs affect Demons differently than humans. He’s described being high as “drowning for a few days, then getting air. It calms you down”.

Dislikes: Demytri Dzurhov. He has met him once before and he knows that there is somethings seriously wrong with that guy. He tries to avoid him and he would rather die than work for him. Also he hates being called a pervert. People assume that he takes the form of a child or a feminine appearance to do illicit things, but he has never done anything of the sort. In his opinion, people are more willing to speak to a young child or someone who looks trustworthy.

The Nazzerela family: They are demon hunters and they make it their goal to destroy the Avvoltoi. He also hates meeting people who he can’t read. It drives him nuts and he will do everything in his power to figure them out.

Fears: Being killed. He can’t die but he is afraid of being killed by the Nazzerela’s because they know how to permanently kill someone of his race.

Hobbies: Sightseeing. When he is allowed out, he lives to visit the sights of Italy. Even though he is over 900 years old, he never grows tired of his country. He also enjoys painting and creating new outfits.

Talents: Nazzaereno is extremely good at sword fighting. He is a natural with any weapon that he can find, but he an expert with any bladed weapon because it is nearly impossible to get a hit on him when he is fighting. He is good with one blade, but he is even better with his two blades.

Skills: He is fluent in multiple languages, and he is actually a great singer. He’s also a very good story teller.

IQ: 218

Abilities: He deals in blood, so unlike other Avvoltoi, he has vampiric abilities. He can survive on blood. Nazzaereno is an Avvoltoi, so his abilities are varied. His specialty seems to be shadows, so he uses those a lot when he is in combat. He can teleport, he can become incorporeal, and he can even use shadows to attack people. He rarely uses shadow attacks because he likes fighting his opponents himself. He is immortal and invulnerable, so physical attacks have no real effect on him although he can fake an injury very well. For some reason, Avvoltoi nullify magical abilities, which means that he cannot use magic himself and magic cannot be used on him.

Weapons: He has two blades named Tè and Caffè. They are twin curved long swords. The left is light black while the right is bronze. He also has two knives on his waist, and because he is an Avvoltoi, he has sharp teeth and 3 inch long claws that he can attack with.

Weaknesses: That is unknown. All Avvoltoi have their own weaknesses, but he seems to be really afraid of the necromancer, Tera Na'Vole.

Fighting Style: It’s a rather bizarre fighting style, but he gets in your face with his style. It’s meant to throw you off because of how close he is to you. He throws in grabs, flips, and twirls to confuse his opponent.

Secret: He enjoys tasks like doing homework or writing papers. Nobody else knows this, but he enjoys simple contracts like this.

Influential Memory: His memories are a bit strange, but if he had one to remember, its Cinque helping him when he first became a demon.

Role Model: None really. If he had to have one, it would be his sister Cinque. She was always morally good and seen as an outcast among their people, but she never changed.

Crush: He possibly has a crush on Ahkenaton but that is debatable.

Source of Embarrassment: The scars on his eyes. He’s embarrassed by those, but he doesn’t hide them.

Source of Pride: His swords. It took him four days to kill 4 of his older siblings so that he could use those blades. They are unique because they were created by The Father.

-History- Nazzareno was the youngest and last of 8 children. His parents had him late in life and in the process, their mother died giving birth to him. His oldest brother who is now known as Uno, was materialistic, and mad that he lost his mother. He strived to be a noble in Venice, but with his family’s state, that was highly impossible. He grew bitter and he took his anger out on his brother, punishing Sette and innocent animals the most. As he walked around town, he got wind of some rumors that involved people being sacrificed for demons. These demons were powerful and they could grant any wish that was had, but for a small price. Uno was curious so looked into how he could summon one of these demons. He asked around, eventually meeting with a blonde man. The man told him that he had to use his blood to create a summoning rune, and the blood of anything to bring the demon out. He gave him a letter and With these instructions, he took his neighbors dog to an abandoned farm. He did as the instructions said, and sure enough he summoned a demon. She was beautiful with piercing yellow eyes and an angelic voice. She told him that her name was Nove, and that she was an Avvoltoi that could give him anything that he wanted. When she asked what she could do for him, he told her that he wanted her to make him the richest person in Venice and that she would be his consort. She agreed and soon Uno was invited to become part of the royal court. He left his family and he went to live with high society. A few years passed and eventually Uno came back to “help” his family out. Little did he know that having an Avvoltoi was risky business. Nove was as beautiful as she was deadly, and she had an insatiable appetite for children. There were stories of children going missing in Florence, and in Rome and she told Uno that she was the one responsible. He also learned that he was going destitute and that he couldn’t pay for his lifestyle. He wanted to keep this high class lifestyle up, so he made a dangerous deal with Nove. If she supplied him with a flow of earnings, she could have one of his siblings as payment. She agreed, and not even a month later, some guards came to Sette’s home and they took his oldest sister, claiming that her brother found her a charming and suitable husband. This went on over the years until Sette and his father were left. Being a young man himself, he enjoyed life as a merchant because it was honest work and he got to meet new people as they came into town. More guards came, and when they found Sette, they killed his father and brought him to where Uno lived. Uno was going mad with power. He had his father killed because he was afraid that the Nobles would talk about him. Sette, confused and scared of his brother, had nowhere to go. He was brought to his brothers home, and it was there that he met Nove. He was terrified of her, but she was strangely kind to him. He met his brother and approached him. Uno informed him that he would now work for him and that it was his job to pay off his debts. Having no real say in the matter, Sette accepted. For months, Life as his servant was hard because again, Uno would beat him if he made simple mistakes. He was always criticizing him or unnecessarily interrupting his work which caused him to start over. He grew tired of this and he made plans to run away. At night he took off from a secret passage that he found and he made it out of the city. Little did he know that Nove was following him. As he made his way to Florence, Nove caught him and attacked him. She carried him back herself where Sette had to face the wrath of his brother. Uno was enraged beyond reasoning, and he stated that his brother was arrested for treasonous acts against Venice herself. He threw his brother into the cells and as part of his punishment, Uno would let some of his shady Noble friends abuse his brother. Nove would join too, but unlike many of the nobles, she was a fighter and she would beat him nearly to death. Sette was barely hanging on at that point. His brother would only give him water and bread every few days, and Nove was a terror. It was like she never took a break. She was always watching him and hurting him. She even got so mad that she bit off two of his fingers. Nazz felt himself slipping away one day when he was visited by the strangest person. As if from nowhere, a woman appeared in his cell. She had yellow eyes like Nove, but she was kinder. She approached him and told him that no matter what happens, wait and she will be there to help him. She said that her name was Cinque, and she left. The guards that night were in a panic because a rival family found out that Uno had stolen from them. They declared war and they were going to raid the castle. His brother was enraged because Nove wasn’t going to help him this time. He forgot about his half of their bargain. He begged and pleaded with her, but she would not budge. Being desperate, Uno asked if she could do one more thing for him. She agreed and he asked her to make him into whatever she was and she was happy to oblige him, but it would take the ultimate sacrifice. Uno agreed, and before he knew it, Sette felt a blade across his throat. As he died, he saw his brother drinking his own blood. When he opened his eyes, he saw that he was in a cave of some sorts. A woman was next to his bed and the first thing that he noticed was that she had the kindest, yellow eyes that he had seen. She gave him a smile and introduced herself as Cinque. She said that she would be his mentor and that he had to learn how to respond to his new name, which was Sette. Cinque told him that he was now an Avvoltoi and that he was bound to their rules. She explained everything to him, but before he could take contracts, he had a lot of training to complete. He met with the other Avvoltoi who naturally didn’t like him because he was the “new guy”, and he was picked on by them. Cinque was always by his side, but he wanted to learn about being strong for himself. He was having a good day until an Avvoltoi by the name of Uno approached him. He seemed familiar, and although he couldn’t place why, he did not trust him at all. Uno was too strong and he was cruel for no reason. He would punish everyone and even Cinque for no reason. Sette did notice that another Avvoltoi by the name of Nove was always with him, and apparently they were a couple. During a mission that Sette had to go on, Uno decapitated him for no reason. It took Sette about a week to reform, but when he did, he was angry. Cinque knew what he was going to do, and she stopped him. She told him that he would have to stop being nice and he would have to get on Uno’s level. During this time, Sette was exceptionally cruel. He was able to take some contracts like the older ones, but he was always reprimanded because if he grew bored, he had a nasty habit of killing his contracts. Uno was jealous, and in retaliation, he started to do things that Sette couldn’t morally do. Nove got word of this and she did not like that her boyfriend was being upstaged. Her powers involved shape shifting, so she took the form of one of Sette’s contracts. She was a widow who wanted to get revenge for her husbands death. After a while, Nove revealed herself and to destroy him, she gave him all of his memories back. What she did nearly killed him, but he knew why he didn’t trust Uno. He was going to make a plea to the Mother and to let her know that something was wrong, but something stopped him. Nove told him that he was now bound to Uno and that he worked for him. Sette was devastated and he didn’t know what to do. Uno went back to his old ways and he would abuse his brother. Sette was going to tell The Father this time, but he couldnt; Uno forbade him from talking about what he and Nove did. This continued for years, but Cinque approached Sette and she told him something important. She said that there was a way to get even with the them, but It would take some. She told him that there were contracts that they were obligated to complete. She told him about how some Avvoltoi would work with humans and they enlisted in places called the army, or they did something so that they were bound to humans. He was desperate and he took one of these contracts. The first contract that he chose was one from a child. The child was lonely and he wanted someone to be his friend. Sette thought that this was rather silly, but Cinque was right. Having this contract gave him the time to train and become stronger. He also learned that he had shapeshifting powers so He took the form of a child and he enjoyed having a new friend. There was no killing involved, and it was rather relaxing. The child eventually died from a disease, and he had to move on. Over the years he took more adult contracts like becoming a knight, enlisting in the army, and he even became a priest for a while. During this time he perfected his shapeshifting abilities and he learned how to teleport, and at night he would try new skills that would help him to fight his brother. Uno was enraged, so summoned Sette and he bound him to a man who was an infamous killer. As a final act of destroying Sette, Uno accused Cinque of working with demon hunters. This was a grave offense and she was executed, which made Nove overjoyed. Sette was bound to a man named Nazzaereno Abategiovanni, and he was known as “The Poveglia Butcher” because he would capture people and subject them to torture. Sette was tortured by this man for months, and although it took him some work, he managed to shapeshift into a bird. He hid away from the man, and once they were alone, he captured him, tortured him, and eventually escaped. He was proud of what he did, and although it was an offense to the Avvoltoi rules, he took the mans name, calling himself Nazzaereno. Nazzaereno eventually returned to the clan where he was punished for killing an employer. He had heard about Cinque and he was devastated because she was his only friend, but when Uno saw him and he was nervous. Something had changed about his little brother and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Nazzaereno went on a warpath when he was back with them. He would do things that weirded the other Avvoltoi out, and although he completed his contracts 100 percent, he had a habit of killing some of the people after. This would result in his punishment, but nobody wanted to work with him because he was unpredictable. It was time for him to work with the older Avvoltoi, and although they weren’t afraid of him, they didn’t like his behavior. Uno asked The Father if he could skip working with him, and he agreed because he knew that something was off. Nove, being headstrong and brash, ignored this and she chose to work with Nazz. Their time in the underworld was uneventful. Nove would boss him around because he was younger, and although he listened to her, he hated her. They completed a contract where they had to work for a Death god. Out of spite, Nove killed one of the Death gods children and she blamed it on Nazz. He was captured by the Netherworld guards and The Father had to negotiate his release, which was a big embarrassment. During this time Nazz had enough. He knew he had to do something and it was going to be big. They were on a mission together and after she spent minutes yelling at him for no reason, he attacked. He decapitated her which meant that he was bound forever to Uno. Wanting to get back at his brother, he teleported with her head and he threw it into a river. He took her swords and he returned. Uno knew that something was wrong when Nove never returned. He saw Nazz, then he recognized her swords. He was scared. He attacked Nazz, demanding that he explain himself. He was so angry, saying things like he would kill him and that he would make sure that he was executed. Nazz laughed at him and In his own words, he told him that he started all of this and that he should of thought about everything before killing him, then none of this would have ever happened. For killing Nove, Nazz was punished and exiled for 50 years. He spent this time thinking about ways to make his brother pay even more. He realized that he was killed because his brother was a coward and that he was never going to change his ways. He used power to get what he wanted, so Nazz chose to use fear to get what he wanted. The Mother took him out of exile early and she was impressed that he took down an older Avvoltoi by himself. She allowed him to keep Nove’s swords and she granted him the ability to take on more difficult, independent contracts. He was glad, and he remembered that he was still bound to Uno. This gave him the opportunity to get even. When Uno was completing a contract, Nazz killed his employer. This caused Uno was punished for not being able to complete his contract. He took his anger out on his younger brother and the cycle would continue. Nazz would kill, Uno would get reprimanded, and they would fight. Eventually Uno got so fed up with this that he tried to unbind himself from his brother, but their fate was sealed. Nazz secretly enjoyed tormenting him, but he also grew bored of the same old thing. He started to take strange contracts like enrolling in school so that he could learn how to read, he spent some time as an old mans dog, and he learned how to change his appearance at times. He would still appear to kill one of Uno’s employers, but because he was so busy, he barely had time to do that. Uno did appear to kill some of his employers and he was impressed that he could always find him. During some of his newer contracts, Nazz met a vampire named Theon and they became the best of friends during WWII. He also lived in the Netherworld which was amazing because Uno could never come down there because of what happened to Nove. He had a relationship with one of the guys that he worked for and although they really liked eachother, someone caught them and he was sealed away for 300 years. When asked by other people about his life in the Netherworld, he rarely speaks about it because he truly misses someone there.

Hello again!

This profile’s greatest strength is also its weakness. You really know this character inside and out, forward and backward. You know where he comes from, what his connections are, and why he’s doing what he does. His personality and traits stem from specific influences, which is always appreciated. However, as you mention at the top, it’s just too much for a profile so it’s hard for me to dig down into the really important stuff.

There are a few issues that I also saw in the profile for Aeron. For example, you say that you can’t describe Avvoltoi, then later say, ‘unlike other Avvoltoi’ or ‘since he’s Avvoltoi’. In order to understand this character there have to be concise descriptions before they’re used in context. I don’t know if Avvoltoi are a type of demon, supernatural beings, some other race, or an underworld mafia. It says they stop magic from being used, but teleportation and shadow jumping can still happen. How? The Father and The Mother are both talked about, but in no way explained. Binding can happen when you trust someone, but by killing Nove he becomes bound to someone he doesn’t trust. My confusion comes about because you have a world of knowledge in your brain, so parts are getting left out because you already know what’s what. It also means you give too much back story because you know all of it. Right now it reads as Uno’s back story. Cut it down to no more than one paragraph focused solely on Nazz.

Listing IQ numbers is a dangerous game to play because that means you have to have that character leaps ahead of others without revealing too much to the reader. Let him be well read and spoken without putting an exact label on it. Right now, he’s also a bit over the top in the perfection column. He sings, he paints, he makes clothes, fights well, is fluent in languages, is immortal and so on. You list his weaknesses as unknown. He needs some concrete drawbacks other than getting bored and keeping his word on contracts.

The last thing I’m going to caution you on is using the words ‘weird’ ‘strange’ and ‘odd’ too liberally. When so many things are listed as being strange, it starts to lose meaning. It’s actually quite common that shape-shifters take on personality traits of who they’re mimicking in lore, so tell me who he is on his own.

I’d really love to see this profile condensed a little bit to better see into who Nazz is. I want to know what he’s like when his guard is down (even if it never is). What makes him laugh? Flipping through radio stations, what does he like best? Why? If he could truly speak freely, what would he want to talk about? Give me a little bit more of Nazz’s core, I think I’ll like what I see.

Happy Writing!

-Shields

[queenharumiura]

Kyoko Headcanon

@lalucedivongola this is the thing that I said I’d do. 

Here is a link if you’d rather just listen to me animatedly talk about my Kyoko HC: [X]

Length: 32:03 ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Warning: Obviously length, and also I guess... language? I tend to cuss more when I get agitated or excited... so if you don’t like that i’d... avoid this. Also at some times I get real passionate so perhaps my volume gets a bit loud... ahahahaha;;;;

Below is going to be me writing out my HC in word format. I am not following what I said in the audio post because that’s just too much work. I like working on the fly. So if the audio thing is too long for you, you can just read instead. 83

[readmore bc it’s me and we know why]

Kyoko and Haru used to get a lot of hate in the KHR fandom for ‘crying a lot’ being ‘useless,’ and for ‘getting in the way of YAOI SHIPS.’. The moment anyone say that to me is the day that I will probably flip someone’s life upside down. You don’t really see that now, which makes me happy. I used to see it a lot more often back then though and it gave me so much grief because Haru has been my favorite character for a very very VERY long time. 

I’m going off topic. Sorry about that. 

So anyways, going on with the whole crying bit. They are obviously talking about the future arc. If you go back to the manga, it was either within the same day or the next day when the girls resolve themselves to helping out by doing the chores and cooking. They can’t just stay upset and do nothing. They have to be productive. They have to help out and support the guys. 

THEY DID NOT CRY A LOT. I REPEAT, THEY DID NOT CRY THE WHOLE TIME. I WILL FIGHT YOU. THEY DIDN’T. If it were me, I would’ve cried and panicked for much longer. Honestly? We need to give those girls WAAYYYYY more credit than was given to them. I seriously will fight someone over this. 

Now, another reason Kyoko got a lot of hate is because she’s so perfect and always so happy-- like a robot. She doesn’t have a personality. She’s just... so unnatural. I so get that. I won’t lie, I used to really dislike her because I felt the same way. Though after a while I tried to really think on some things and analyze some things in the series and I came up with an idea and it made me respect her more as a character. 

To start things on, in one of the games, (was it the card game?) Kyoko was given the flame type of the MIST and NOT the SUN like her brother. I assert that your flame type isn’t necessarily genetic, but more so situational and personality related. Though that also ties into a bit of genetics because a lot of the times if you’re related you’ll have a similar personality. 

I’ve posted it once before, but I really believe that situations in one’s life and one’s personality really impacts on what kind of flame type you may have. My headcanon that’s based on this idea can be found here: [x]

I dunno if you took the time to read that but if you did, thank you~ I hope that it sort of makes sense? I hope it doesn’t seem too far-fetched? I mean you don’t have to agree with me or anything like that. That’s just how I see it and I’ll stand by it. This HC is why I have the HC that I do for Kyoko. 

Now, for Kyoko, she apparently has the flame type of the mist. I really think this fits her because it deals with illusions and I personally believe it fits her SCHOOL IDOL status. 

Here’s the thing, when you idolize anyone, your perception of someone is really biased. You see this a LOT with people who are really into Kpop. Like you can look at someone and see everything they do and hate them. You can see them to be a super pretentious person. They’re rude, they’re ugly, etc. However, sometimes, they grow on you and the same things you saw that made you hate them-- you start liking it instead. That’s the power of bias. 

It’s also the same as how sometimes a really good looking guy can do something ‘sweet’ for a girl and it’s soooo romantic, but if a guy who isn’t so good looking does the same thing, it’s sooooo creepy. Similar concept. 

Idolization gives rise to use bias. Gokudera is prime example. No matter what Tsuna does, he’s just the amazing Juudaime that he looks up to and aspires to help. 

Now, the reason why I mention this is because she’s the school idol and you know people are always projecting their own ideals onto you. You know this to be true especially when Tsuna is involved. He’s just always fantasizing about Kyoko. She’s the best person. She’s so beautiful, she’s so cute, she’s so kind, she’s so perfect. She’s like an angel. He hardcore projects onto her, dude. 

With the mist, you know there is an attribute of illusions ans such. Mukuro in particular can make himself look like another person. To the point that sometimes you’re like ‘yoooo you have like a completely different personality. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE.

I use this idea when I think about Kyoko. As a school idol, people project an image onto her and that’s quite literally what they see, and that’s how she acts out. She will act out how people see her. How they want to see her. 

However, there are times when we see her break out of those projections. Like whenever she got shot by Reborn and she goes to Tsuna’s mom and demands she ‘apologize/take it back’. There’s also the time that when she finds out Mochida and Tsuna are about to fight for Kyoko as the prize. You see her about to go straight up there like ‘oh no bitch, I aint no prize. SQUARE UP. I’ll fight fo’ myself’. Though you know, her friends kinda hold her back. You can see in the manga (I forget if it’s in the anime as well) that she’s just really gunho about going in there and fighting herself. 

LIKE HOW DARE? I feel like sometimes she’ll just snap out of the projected images and she’ll be herself. The times when we can see Kyoko being a bit ‘weird’ is when she’s around some other people who don’t really have any misconceptions about her. 

Like when she first met Haru, she doesn’t know that Kyoko is a school idol. She doesn’t know anything about her. She won’t be able to judge Kyoko and be like ‘that’s so unlike you. That’s so weird.’ So it’s like you can see Kyoko just immediately open up to Haru and just be like ‘yoooo I also do appreciation days!!! FRIIIIIIEEENDD!!!!!’. They get along very easily right off the bat.

She also found Lal Mirch’s Gorilla decoration thing to be really cute. We even see Haru just look at her like ‘you find that cute? Weiiiird.’ We can see that Kyoko’s interests are not exactly ‘normal’. She has some odd interests in the way that we see that she even finds Haru’s costumes to be really cute and fun. She finds Haru’s ideas to be really fun. 

If you think about it, if she was a true school idol preppy girl, she probably would not have been caught dead wearing some of the things that Haru has made costumes of. This is a glimpse of what Kyoko is like. She has a personality. She has her own interests. She has her own hobbies and thoughts. SHE HAS A PERSONALITY-- but it often gets overwritten by projection, which I will get into now. 

So with the mist attribute, you think of illusions, which I assert kind of ties into the whole ‘bias’ thing I mentioned earlier. It’s like people have an idea they have of her as an idol and project this idea onto her and she either acts out this projection or just appears that way to the one projecting the image. 

She’ll be that perfect angel, the super sweet, and gentle idol of the school. To further assert this idea, Kyoko has from a young age had to act things out to make people happy. Namely, her brother. We know that the scar on his forehead is partly the fault of Kyoko. He sustained the injury because of her and she feels guilty about it. Ryohei feels responsible sort of because she feels guilty. Like he wasn’t strong enough to not get injured. 

If he does get hurt (whether or not because of her or not) he needs to heal quickly or else he’ll worry Kyoko. He has to heal fast and strong so he doesn’t worry her and get less scars that she can look at and feel saddened by. Viola we see him with the Sun flame. 

Kyoko has to be that little sister that is naive and someone who always listens to her brother, so she can pretend to be unaware of the truth. It helps Ryohei feel more safe, and it helps him feel less stressed about feeling responsible for her feeling guilty about his injuries. 

It’s a cycle of guilt. She feels guilty about his scar, and he feels responsible for her feeling such a way and then she feels guilty that he feels responsible for her feeling guilty. A train. A complex train of guilt. You feel? 

So to stop this, she simply has to nip it in the bud at the source. She should pretend as though it doesn’t bother her anymore. She has to be the small and cute younger sister he’s so protective of. She has to act out the way he wants her to in order to save him from feeling so responsible for her all the time. 

I feel as though this is one reason why he gets so scarily defensive the moment the idea of letting Kyoko know the truth in the TYL arc is raised. It goes against the image he has of her. He doesn’t want to think of her knowing the truth. To become less of a naive and innocent little girl he wants her to be. So when she does find out, he just flies off the handle kinda. 

I think that this makes sense with him projecting an innocent image of her makes sense. Like, do you really think she’s stupid enough to believe he REAAAAAALLY fell off a roof? No, you don’t fall off a roof, lose all those teeth, and you don’t get all the injuries that you did. You don’t. Hell, you even saw Tsuna’s reaction like, ‘YOU BELIEVE THAT?’. 

Dude i’m pretty sure she doesn’t. That’s the image he projects onto her. That’s what he wants from her, so she acts the part. Honestly? Do you reaaalllly think the doctor’s are going to be stupid enough to believe that he fell off a roof? I’m pretty sure there are bruises and such that can let them know that’s not the case. 

The Doc’s probably told the parents the truth and either Kyoko heard it there or she heard from her parents. She’s got allllllllllll the opportunities to learn the truth. Still, she acts the part of believing his lies, because it would calm him down. He doesn’t want her to worry. He doesn’t want her to ‘show that face again’. Since he feels that strongly, she has to act naive. 

Please, Sumo tournament? She sees those gloves you’re wearing. She knows a boxing ring when she sees one. Like all those injuries? LAMBO?????? REALLY? Sumo? You seriously think they’re that stupid to believe you? They know you guys are lying to them. They know you are lying to keep them safe, or to make you guys keep distance. It’s dangerous. They know that. 

So they have to pretend to believe you and move on. What a lot of women are told, no matter what, you have to support your men. You have to protect the family and support your man in the shadows. That’s what the girls have to do. If they have to pretend to be unaware of the truth to support them, they’ll do so. Kyoko cannot be that stupid, and Haru honestly would not be stupid enough to believe it. She’s from a private all girl’s school for pete’s sake. She’s supposed to be very smart. Don’t let her weird attitude fool you. 

She’s knowledgeable. Kyoko has common sense. They are not stupid. They are more aware than they let on. Why else did they finally have enough of it in the future arc and go on a strike? If they truly believed that everything was okay and it was just a ‘sumo tournament’ then they wouldn’t have had a strike. They would’ve just gone along with it. However, they just finally got enough of it. 

How can you basically bring them into this, have them see how injured you guys got AND LAMBO and expect them to not know the truth? 

REAAAAAALLLYYYYY THEEEYYYYY KNOOWWWWWWW MORREEEEEE THAAAAAAN PEEOOOPPLEEE GIVEEE THEEEEMMM CREEEDIIIIIT FOOOOR.

So she gets projected images and she acts the part. Thought with Haru, as I mentioned earlier, she didn’t have a projection to work off of and you can see her being more of her true self. She’s into eating lots of cakes. She can enjoy dressing up in weird costumes. She enjoys the weird ploys that Haru has planned to surprise their friends. She can be HERSELF. 

It’s really interesting to see the subtle differences in her actions when she’s around other characters and Tsuna. The projection really just shines through, I feel.

Now, this is my thought, Kyoko has very strong feelings about treating people right and judging people, or projecting ideals onto people. WHY? BECAUSE THAT IS HER LIFE. She knows how hard it is. She will fight this. 

Why else did she only when she got shot by Reborn she goes after Tsuna’s mom demanding she take back what she said about Tsuna? You shouldn’t call yourself worthless or whatever. Not in front of him and NOT in front of a friend of his. You don’t do that. (though I also HC that Nana does that to see who Tsuna’s true friends are bc anyone who would defend him are his true friends. Those who let it go are either fake friends or are using him. She must get rid of them) You can’t say things like that, as though you were projecting the idea that he’s a no good person. She got upset by that, but Tsuna super hardcore projects all these ideals onto her. 

Calling out his mom on her BS is not one of them. So she’s stuck with wanting to say something but also being stuck with having to act out his projection. There is a lot of inner battling there and that’s why, I assert, is why she immediately goes to find his mom after being shot, because it bothered her THAT MUCH. 

Now in terms of Haru. Let’s be real here, Kyoko knows full well how Haru feels about Tsuna. She’s always all over him and they’ve canonically had sleepovers. Do you really think she hasn’t said that she loved ‘Tsuna-san’ at LEAST 20 times in a single night? Really? She so has. This is no secret to Kyoko. However it’s very obvious who he has feelings for. 

Given the fact that he’s always pushing Haru away or speaking/acting in favor of Kyoko. I’m very much positive that Kyoko is just very loyal and she sticks to her girls. You want to treat Haru like that and push her away? Then i’m going to pretend I don’t see how you feel about me. Don’t you think you can just ignore and push someone away and think that I’ll look at you. ESPECIALLY NOT if it’s my FRIEND you are treating like that. 

Sure, Haru is very passionate and it’s just really really stifling. She gets that, but you can’t treat a girl like that in front of someone you are crushing on. However, we can’t blame Tsuna. He’s young and it’s like given his life, it’s not his fault he doesn’t exactly know how to deal with things. I mean, if I had a girl like Haru on my tail all the time, I would be a bit overwhelmed too. 

Still, doesn’t mean that Kyoko has to overlook that. She has to support her friend. I feel as though that is definitely why every time he gives Haru a hard time, Kyoko chimes in like ‘Oh but I was involved too? I thought it was a cute idea.’ It’s basically a ‘if you gotta throw hate on Haru, then you should throw it at me too’. 

HOWEVER we see that Tsuna changes his tune. The moment he realizes that Kyoko was in on it and thought it was a fun idea, he’ll be shocked at first but then say how it made him happy. Thank you. Like really? Come on now, why to have such a fast change of heart. Not even Haru is oblivious or positive enough to ignore that. That probably hurts her. 

Kyoko is supporting her friend, but also in a weird way training Tsuna to stop judging people so much. Stop projecting your ideals onto people. Just learn to accept people for who they are. She probably just respects Haru for how true she is to herself. She doesn’t care about wearing a costume out in public. She can showcase her work to the world. She doesn’t really care how people think of her. She’s herself and she’s not gonna change. 

No amount of Tsuna just making comments on her thoughts/actions is going to stop her. Kyoko, I feel really likes that about her and she wants to do that herself. 

Now, if you’ve noticed, Tsuna pushed Haru away a lot at the start of the manga, but towards the end, he’s accepting her more. He doesn’t really push her away as much. He starts to accept the weird things that not only she, but everyone else does. You can see that as he’s growing more accepting of things, Kyoko opens up more to him. She starts to become more ‘aware’ of his feelings for her. Very subtle but it’s there. 

The very last thing that I want to leave things off on: I feel like this is why she could immediately tell the problem that Tsuna was having with Natsu. Tsuna was projecting his emotions onto his box animal. How else can she know this so easily than if she’s always being projected on? She knows how that is. That is her life. She’s a projected person. People don’t really know what she’s really like until they start accepting her for who she is and stop projecting their ideals on her. 

Due to the fact that she’s always projected upon, she can tell when others are being projected on like with Natsu. He can feel the anxieties Tsuna feels. He’s scared too. He’s just in his box like ‘OH SHIT! NO NO DON’T LET ME OUT. I’m SCARED!’. Kyoko can tell because she’s so used to it. She can see the signs. 

For the fact it’s so terrifying and tiring, she doesn’t like it when others project onto others in a harmful way. Thus he wants to talk back when people say bad things about Tsuna. Don’t put a bad image onto him. He’s trying. Words are powerful. Stop putting that image on him. Especially if you are his mother. Don’t do it. 

So yeah. That’s my thought on Kyoko being the way she’s designed and why the mist fits her so well. 

Honestly you don’t have to agree with me. You can say that my idea is absolute bull. I just wanted to write out a thing and share it. 

TLDR: Kyoko has a personality. She has a soul, but it’s just that with her mist attribute her true personality gets hidden. 

[peanutdracolich]

Peanut Dracolich Watches Horror: The Descent

Going into the film I knew only vague things. Someone got covered with blood. It was probably underground. I’d heard things about it being compared to Saw because both were bloody horror movies and Saw came first. Roger Ebert gave it a thumbs up. Something about Dante imagery.

Of these things some were true. This film is full of gore. Do not watch the film if you don’t like gore. It is also a gruesome, brutal, and at times brutally effective horror film. It is capable of gripping at you tightly, the danger rush rising, and in some ways is the best horror film I’ve watched this month. I’d still rate it only 5th or so, but for a certain niche it is truly great. What it does it does well.

It is not merely a thing of blood, violence, and poor spelunking choices. There is a moral aspect to it, which is well played, and we see mankind’s need to hang on to each other when in danger or all hang separately.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, as well as the play by play below.

The Good:

The Moral Dilemma: Don’t read this bit if you haven’t seen the movie Well if you’ve seen the movie you know the basic gist of it. Still it’s nice to see the choice between vengeance and forgiveness played out, and the fake out that goes with it is also nice. It sets up a wonderful end.

You can read again.

The Brutal Action: I am not adverse to gore and brutality. While I usually find it no substitute for other parts of horror, here it was done well and in a gruesome way that really worked really bloody well. The deaths were gory, but it wasn’t just here’s a gory death be scared, and the action, when they fought the crawlers (as the ending credits called them, I’d have called them the orloks or cave goblins) it was effective action that fit a horror film.

The Setting: This has to be mentioned as it was a large part of making the film work. The narrow, dark, and claustrophobic cave is a scary place and the darkness, trapped in the dark, was used to good effect. Still it feels sort of like saying Alien’s best feature was it was set on a space ship.

The Bad:

The Stupid: Guys it’s obviously not the right cave. Guys don’t crawl down a tunnel that narrow that readily. Sam don’t try climbing that what are you doing? Beth... There’s a lot of stupid moments in the film. While it works despite them and some (guys it’s obviously not the right cave) are acceptable as genre conventions of a sort (a horror movie about being at a place where people shouldn’t be is expected to use a bit of stupid for it) eventually they got a little grating.

The Crawlers: Their biology is egregiously dumb. They’re blind, but shown to be attracted to light. They see with echolocation, but seem to have worse hearing than humans. They sniff people, but can’t actually smell them. They are cave predators, but poorly armed humans kill them when outnumbered without good lighting. They are only scary due to their numbers and the cave itself; they’re less intimidating than Aliens xenomorphs, the setting fixes some of this, but they are not that scary in and of themselves. Bonus points, though, for making them look like Count Orlok bringing in that horror and potential homage.

The Fake Outs: There’s a lot of empty cat scare like fake outs in the first 30 minutes of the film. They don’t really add much to the horror and just sort of add time. While one has purpose in showing us one of Sarah’s hallucinations the others are pointless.

The Ugly:

The Blood Pool: While I could mention the bone-setting scene, because as much as I liked it it was gory really gory, the blood pool gets points for looking like chili and tomato sauce.

The Bats: Not quite 60s movie bad but bad, really quite bad.

The Play by Play (I suggest watching the film first though note lots of gore)

I know nothing about this film other than it's 'recent' (here apparently meaning newer than the 90s), something about people covered in blood, and critical reviews mention Dante symbolism. This is the extent of my knowledge.

I now know it starts with people the scariest of all acts, white water rafting. As I don't like water due to being 1/4 wicked witch on my godmother's side that might actually be something I'd not enjoy and seriously be scared doing.

Still this is only a quite prelude for a car crash wherein one woman is injured and a dude dies with copper tubes through him. Quick, sudden, brutal. No real horror because it's just a quick death in a random accident, but the woman wakes up in an abandoned hospital alone and confused. Lights begin to turn out towards her and we get some madness view, and she begins to run from the encroaching darkness calling her daughter's name.

Then we cut out of her mad take upon the world and see that it is a normal hospital and well lit. Still her husband and daughter are dead. I'm guessing she'll try and resurrect them or something (and also that her husband was cheating on her).

And we cut to 1 year later and the Appalachian mountains. The English do not like our country music. And the national park sign has been shot, who the frick did that. Still it's the Appalachians I'm familiar with them, they include some nice mountains, and some creepy ones.

Still it's 5 women alone in the woods. Or perhaps 6. Movie is thus far dark in a sort of sad, depressing way. This seems thematically fitting given the main woman's (I will have to learn their names) depression over the death of her husband and daughter. And even now she's have a nightmare about getting a pipe through the head. Shocking imagery but it creates a little surge of fear and then it's gone and the tension and build up reduced by the surge. It wastes the unease. I say it wastes it because it'd been doing a good job of building it actually, the depressing dark is a tension of its own. I mean I guess I could call them Protag, Asian, Dark, Doctor (in training), Older Sister, and Punk, but I need proper names, I don't like those. So we have Juno, Sarah, and I'll try. One is Rebecca. Juno puts the guide book back in the car, this is a mistake.

I think the film wants to find a waterfall scary? And then jump scare with crows. It's not poorly done. It gets a little jump, but it is more setting up what they were scavenging, a dead elk. It's also not quite a full jump scare, but it's pretty nice and fun.

They arrive at the mouth of the cave. I feel like if this is a common attraction there'd be more of a path leading to it. Like it doesn't look like there's been that many people as they kept talking about. Holly comes down too quick and almost hits someone because she's crazy punk girl.

One of them finds an indentation in the stone shaped just right to place your fingers in and it's either bloody or the color of blood. That's disturbing. We are then greeting with a sudden burst of bats as a fake out scare. It's better than Friday the Thirteenth Part 2's cat scare, but the bats look pretty bad, I had thought that by 2005 we could do bats more effectively. Still we have a group of women in a cave which is an effective setting for horror and since it's all women we won't have the guy who is designated to die through heroic sacrifice. I'd say something about how none of them are black so we don't have the black guy dies first, but... most of the horror movies I've watched has the black guy die sort of middling if it has one at all or else specifically are referencing the trope. Still natural instinct from media and the like is a man as the protector (see heroic sacrifice) so it makes you more prone to worry about their safety (regardless of the validity of it).

Grieving protagonist lady finds the next part of the journey. Or she thinks she does. It's a tiny hole that a guy probably couldn't get through and which they have to swim part of the way through. This seems like the wrong path. One of them even states as much. It's like a how not to go spelunking at the moment. They ought to take a look around for another path, but they aren't (it'd insult her after all) so they instead follow that path. One of them (Sarah, the grieving protag) gets stuck because she has a bag. She also has a total break down with elements of claustrophobia. And then a rock shifts almost crushing her, and the entire tunnel collapses.

Scene is sort of intense, but you know she's not going to die. They're all fine for now, but they lost the ropes and are caved in.

The truth comes out. They aren't in Boreham Caverns. They're in a new cave system that no one has explored before. The rest are justifiably pissed at Juno for lying to them (though they ought to have known something was up). Juno notes that she lost something in that crash too (she was banging Sarah's husband) and they move on.

They reach a place where one of them has to ninja warrior across a pit by hanging off the roof. Thankfully they're not all guys, cause guys are heavy and grip strength is not great for them. She finds a piton in the ceiling already, though, meaning they're not the first ones in this cave.

Juno, being a death seeker, goes the hard way, reclaiming the rope and along the way. She gives the excuse that they need everything they've got which is true enough, but she slips but survives slamming into the cliff face. She also points out the obvious: Whoever came this way before didn't make it out. It's most likely a dead end. Also they went through most likely 100+ years ago due to the age of the piton.

They find a cave painting of the mountain, and 2 caves. Of course this is an ancient cave painting. It gives hope, but... who knows if it's still true. There's also a hint of there being something else in there with them?

Oooh we see them use the old fire trick for getting out of a cave (you find an air flow). Then Holly runs off and falls down a hole in a rush for 'daylight'.She smashes her leg and bone is exposed. My stomach churning fascination with gore comes out wanting to see more, but her shin is broken and stabbed through her flesh. It's disgusting but effective. Thankfully one of them is a med student... who has to push the bone back in. I am not easily affected by 'gore' and the field operation is fun to watch, but if you're queasy about such things.

More signs that they're not alone, and we see the creature. It's humanoid, pale white, and agile. Of course Sarah is the one who saw it and she's prone to hallucinations so Juno doesn't believe it.

Sarah thinks it's a man. Med-student says doesn't matter they need out of there for Holly. No one points out that if it was a man who ran from them he might not be willing to help. And the daylight was 'phosphorous in the rock' but phosphorous doesn't glow constantly and they weren't shining a light on it when they saw it. This feels weird. Still they find hundreds of dead animals. Sarah, in the middle of the animal kill pit starts screaming out to people. And then Count Orlok is behind one of them and it runs, scrambling up onto the roof of the cave, but now they've all seen it and it's ot human.

My ankles itch. And Holly's throat is bitten out, by the crotchless cave vampire, who then runs off only to return when Juno tries to steal its kill. It starts fighting her like an animal over its kill, and Juno hits it with an ice axe, but it has friends. Or maybe I should be saying he. Ken doll as they are it's definitely got masculine secondary sexual characteristics.

Our second death is Juno, having just fought off two of them, killing the person who came up behind her without saying anything. It's pure reflex action, and the approach was horribly stupid (though actually I think her light broke, still voices), but that doesn't wholly ruin the scene. Still we have Juno on her own in the dark, and then we have Rebecca, Sarah, and I'm not sure if Rebecca is Med-Student or not.

Still eventually Sarah sleeps for we have a scene of her waking up in the midst of human skeletons this time (and a pipe of some sort? Maybe it's a can of nuclear waste?). Maybe she was knocked out since this is where they eat Holly. The scene is gruesome, bloody, and kind of scary. I want the cat off my lap so I can raise my leg. My other leg isn't raising either though.

Sarah almost barfs but holds back, and thankfully these creatures don't have the best darkness adapted senses as while it reacts to the sound, and starts sniffing her it doesn't seem able to tell she's there without a light on. Strange for cave dwellers. Juno's shouts scare it off.

Also oddly 'beeping watch that sounds unnatural as can be' attracts them, but human voices scare them... except then attract them. It's weird.

So having thought too much on the creatures' behavior and evolutionary adaptations (I like making up creatures so I think on these things) I'm a little pulled out of things. Doesn't help that the movie has entered a lull after a few payoffless scenes of danger. Still I can feel the vestiges of that fear.

One of the creatures swings down at Rebecca and she tells Sam (med-school girl) to run; protective big sis that she is. When Juno kills this one, Rebecca stops out of arms reach and starts panting in terror until Juno recognizes her, Juno also doesn't reflex lash out, but this is still smarter approach.

We're told that they're totally blind and have echolocation. That's why they've been attracted to light. They don't have pupils.

Still Juno has badassed her way into finding the markings of the prior spelunker(s), and saving Sam and Rebecca, but she refuses to leave without Sarah. Beth warns Sarah not to go near Juno, still surprisingly alive but in the feasting chamber. This is bad advice, but I can understand how. Beth also tells Sarah that her husband was cheating on her with Juno. Sarah has to mercy kill Beth.

And one foot up when a creature jumps on Sarah from behind. We see a female of the species. She looks like a hag from D&D. Sarah kills the female in a pool of chili and emerges covered in tomato sauce, grabbing her torch before a male comes and starts slobbering on her as she plays dead. The others hear Sarah's scream of conquest and...strangely the fear is gone. I don't know why but I shifted a leg for comfort and it's gone. Even when a whole mass appear to chase the three other than Sarah I don't feel it. When it becomes obvious Sam is going to die soon I become a bit scared again, because I liked med student, but she dies due to stupid and apparently just a complete break down so I care less. Gets Rebecca killed too. Good going.

Juno survives through sheer badassness once again. But reuniting with Sarah she claims to have seen Beth die which... Well Beth should have been dead with that wound, so it's a reasonable claim for Juno to believe, but given what Beth said she won't be believed or trusted now. Still Sarah and her meet up and some fear returns as the creatures arrive to... Seriously get pawned in their natural element. With lots of gore.

They find a lit area and Sarah reveals that she knows about the affair and Beth (wordlessly) and when she is certain that Juno knows it, certain that more are coming, she stabs Juno on the knee and leaves her to die at their hands. A moral damnation of our heroine. Even so she finds the exit, climbing up a hill of bones to emerge to the surface reborn. And I am torn. She killed someone who had sins, but none deserving that murder (Beth's death was the fault of her stupid) and yet she is the survivor. It is an interesting moral twist, and I cannot tell whether we're supposed to find her justified in the act of murder because of the affair or... Never mind it's another hallucination and a good scare scene. Kudos film, kudos. She had fallen and so the escape didn't make that much sense, but the film had had enough that didn't already. But no, she is simply lost in her madness, a final break deep within the Earth. Quite effective.

[laughinglistener]

Girl Power & Talking Animals: The Sequel We Didn't Know We Needed

Again, not the American cover on the audiobook I listened to, but LOOK HOW AWESOME THIS IS.

Lirael

(Old Kingdom, Book Two) By Garth Nix

Format: Audio Book Narrator: The infamous Tim Curry again Length: 14 hours & 45 minutes Genres: Fiction, Young-adult, Fantasy, Adventure, Magic Take a Peek:  Audible  |  Overdrive  |  Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble  |  Goodreads

Rating: 4 Stars

The saga continues! I had some serious doubts going into this sequel since the beginning of Sabriel was such a freaking bore. But once again, the promise of Mogget and Tim Curry made me take the dive and I’m happy I did. So far this Old Kingdom series hasn’t been pulse-racingly thrilling, but it’s a fun adventure with talking animals. That’s all I really need.

THE REHASH

*For some reason, this summary is super long. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Feel free to skip my rantings and head straight to the review on the bottom. I promise not to be offended.*

The prologue opens with a mysterious man named Hedge carrying the bells of an Abhorsen, instantly making the reader question where in the Old Kingdom timeline this is taking place. Last we heard, Sabriel—the new Abhorsen—was definitely female. Is this far in the future, or far in the past? He begins speaking with another powerful sorceress named Chlorr and it becomes obvious that they are followers of Kerrigor, the evil-being Sabriel defeated in the first novel. Hedge makes Chlorr his new servant and apparently these two goons are the new evil dream team.

This book is broken up into four parts, the first taking place 14 years after the ending of Sabriel. We see a girl named Lirael, who’s turning 14 and hates birthdays. They’re just a reminder of everything she doesn’t have. She’s a member of the Clayr, a group of mostly women infamous for their ability to see into the future, and Lirael has waited her whole life to get the Sight without success. Plus, her whole aesthetic is the complete opposite of a normal Clayr who are tan skinned with blonde hair, while Lirael is pale and dark featured. Now she is alone, her father’s identity a mystery and her mother long gone, with only an abrasive aunt as family. She is an outcast in every way—no easy thing for a 14 year-old—and goes to great lengths to push people away so she can’t get hurt.

After an abysmal birthday morning, Lirael spends most of chapter two listing all the benefits of suicide and plotting how to do it. In the end she settles for jumping off a cliff. You know, casual. The Clayr’s home is already set in the mountains and they have a paper plane hanger that would be perfect to throw one’s self from, so Lirael sets off. She arrives after a long hike and immediately hides, waiting for the guards to get lost to make her final move. As she waits, a paper plane comes gliding in and we finally see Sabriel and King Touchstone. They’ve come to visit the Clayr hoping for a vision that could help their current quest. Hedge is purposely causing problems as a distraction, though they don’t know this yet—only see the effects of his actions. The older Clayr deny having any related visions, and the now married couple set off again, but not before Sabriel spots Lirael hiding in the snow. Once the two are gone, the older Clayr demand to know what Lirael is doing and she breaks down. Without giving away her plan for suicide, she admits how miserable she’s been and how worried she is about not gaining the Sight yet. For some reason, the Clayr women are shocked and ask if it would help to have a job to take her mind off things. Um, duh. Lirael is overjoyed and accepts a position in the library, making you wonder why no one offered this to the poor thing earlier.

Contrastingly, fast forward four years and Prince Sameth is busy being a wholesome, trouble-free teen playing cricket with his cricket team. On the way home from a game, they belatedly realize that the driver has been going the wrong way and leading them straight into a trap. There’s a whole lot of zombies coming and Sam demonstrates his prowess as a leader, which is important because you’ll want to slap him in the coming chapters. Recognizing that the undead are being controlled by another necromancer, Sam decides to go into death to find them. On the other side, he sees Hedge who immediately tries to cast a control spell. It’s obvious that this entire plot was a grand scheme to get to Sam specifically and he just manages to thwart Hedge with some pretty kick ass moves. Sam goes back to reality barely making it out alive, with Hedge following close behind, determined to get control of the prince. For an awful moment it appears that Hedge succeeds, embedding something evil in his opponent’s heart, but we learn that he mistakenly hit Sam’s friend Nicholas instead. Nick is now unknowingly the host of an awful spirit that the creepy Hedge is trying to please. It’s all very Harry Potter, Professor Quirrell-esque.

via GIPHY

The cricket team narrowly escapes and they all go home, unaware that the danger has just begun.

While Sam recovers from the attack physically, he still suffers from post-traumatic stress and has become paralyzingly afraid of death (the place, not death death)—not too convenient for the Abhorsen-in-waiting. For a long while we follow Sam while he mopes about the castle, wondering how to tell his mother he doesn’t wish to be the next Abhorsen. We also see him get bossed around by his insensitive older sister Ellimere, which is apparently suppose to show us that she’ll be a great Queen someday. Just as the two royal siblings get word from their parents that things in the kingdom have gone from bad to worse, Sam receives a letter from Nick saying he’s coming to visit. This would be good news, but Nick didn’t want to bother Sam to come pick him up, so he decided to hire a random guide instead. It’s so obvious this “guide” is Hedge that even Sam sees how sketchy the situation is and decides to sneak out of the castle to go save his friend.

The now 18 year-old Lirael, on the other hand, is having a grand time working at the library by day and exploring it’s hidden rooms at night. She’s very gifted with charter magic and uses it to sneak around after hours. During one of these excursions she accidentally unleashes a freaky praying mantis monster and in the chaos, finds a little dog figurine. Once she manages to get away safely, she casts a spell to bring the dog figurine to life and OH MY GOD THERE’S A TALKING DOG NOW. Sassy Tim Curry dog is just as amazing as sassy Tim Curry cat and ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE. Together they team up to defeat the scary praying mantis and explore the library in more depth, eventually finding the secrets of Lirael’s past hidden in one of the old rooms. The elder women of the Clayr help her find some answers and confess they’ve seen Lirael in a vision helping a sick young man.

They send her on a quest to find him, where she sails—quite literally—into Prince Sameth and they discover they’re looking for the same person. Both Lirael and Sam join forces to save Nick and *crosses fingers* defeat Hedge. In the end, we’re left on a cliffy and have to read book three to find out what happens.

THE GOOD

My main gurl Lirael is awesome and I really loved the parts told from her perspective. Even when she was having a major pity-party at the beginning, on the verge of throwing herself off a cliff, she was still relatable. What person hasn’t felt like an outcast at some point during their life? Plus, the Clayr seemed so oblivious to her plight that it really made me feel for Lirael. Once she gets the job in the library, though, she becomes a magical bad ass and it was amazing to watch her grow as a character.

Plus, let’s not forget Lirael’s bff, the TALKING DOG. Mogget the cat really saved me during the first novel and the Disreputable Dog (I’m calling her DD for short—that name is way too long.) saved me during this one. It’s kind of poetic. I’m really hoping this is a theme that runs throughout the series and we’ll just get more and more talking animals. Talking dragon. Talking horse. Talking bird. Talking fish. The possibilities are endless. When Mogget and DD finally met and bantered together towards the end it made the whole book for me.

I also think Garth Nix did a good job in the way he arranged the plot, and it really made everything more exciting. The way he switches perspectives between the two characters is great, and it helped build a lot of excitement for when Sam and Lirael finally meet. At the end of Sabriel, there was a time crunch and a sense of urgency that this book was lacking since it cuts off before the main confrontation. Breaking it up into different parts and characters was a good way to compensate for that.

And I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. Tim Curry makes this audiobook worth listening to. He has the best voice and does an amazing job acting out the story. I have already mentally added “animal voices” to the list of reason why I love Tim Curry so much.

THE UGLY

By the end, Sam is not my favorite person. It’s odd because I started off really loving him after that whole cricket team battle, but my opinion just got progressively worse and worse as the story went on. When he goes into death to hunt for Hedge, some horrible things happen and it’s completely understandable that this would freak him out. I never blamed him for the post-traumatic stress, and even felt for the guy when he went back home and had to deal with his awful sister without any help from his parents. After a while though, his whining starts to get old and by the end I wanted to kick him. My new literary best friend Lirael is making plans to go save Nick, and Sam says he wants to stay back and let her go without him. What?!? Are you kidding me right now? After everything you’ve been through and the countless times she’s saved your sorry butt, you’re just going to let Lirael rescue Nicholas (who’s your friend to begin with, by the way) alone? UGH. GTFO. I think part of the problem is that the book cuts off and we only see half of Sam’s character transformation, but that doesn’t make it any less infuriating.

Plus, I can’t lie, parts of this book were a little boring for me. Particularly Sam’s sections that depict him depressingly roaming about the castle and dancing terribly as a bird. I loved Lirael so much that I found myself anxiously awaiting her parts and not paying too much attention to his. It was nowhere near as dull as the first one, but still a little on the subdued side nonetheless.

FINAL WORD

This was really fun to listen to and definitely a better overall book than the first one. How often does that happen? If you liked the ending of Sabriel and loved the characters, this is definitely worth reading. All of the good ones come back and I really enjoyed seeing the story continue. On to the third!

And again, do yourself a solid and LISTEN TO THE AUDIOBOOK.

Girl Power & Talking Animals: The Sequel We Didn’t Know We Needed was originally published on Laughing Listener