#also my mom lowkey tried to convince me to uh. move back in with her.

[the-everqueen]

wow actually you know what? i do not give 21 yr old horse enough credit for realizing they were queer and having debilitating anxiety/ocd while living in their evangelical parents' house. like 30 yr old me is medicated and has processed a bunch of shit and yet! i am so so excited to go home.

[outerbankies]

new light part 4: underneath the moonlight — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

summary: you and rafe meet the parents (properly) and go to midsummers together, but not everyone is as smitten with your relationship as you two are.

pairing: rafe x kook reader

warnings: drinking, swearing

a/n: say hello to a few characters (tw: ward) i have had yet to feature thus far 🤗 more of y/n being besties with kelce (and topper this time—our fave obx himbo) there’s a lil drama in this part y’all... into the thick of it. thanks for all the feedback 💖not canon rafe

my writing

yeah if you give me just one night, to meet you underneath the moonlight

You’re startled awake by a loud knock on your bedroom door. You’re squished between 6 feet and 3 inches worth of boy and the pink wall your bed is pushed up against. Rafe always insisted on laying on your outer side, closest to the door of your bedroom. Which means you often woke up pressed into the wall, your neck sometimes aching from the awkward angle. Not to mention Wilbur always taking up the space at your feet, Rafe usually nudging him into your space so he could stretch out.

Rafe stirs also, making sleepy noises and stretching his legs where they hang off the end of your bed. He grumbles and smacks his lips together a few times, your hand instinctively coming to rub along his jaw. His eyes flutter open as the sun streams in through your window, illuminating the hint of golden stubble on his chin. You’d only slept over together a few times, since you were both staying with your parents for the summer, so it’s always nice to wake up with your boy in your bed.

Oh fuck. Your boy is in your bed.

Rafe's eyes widen at the same time as yours.

“Oh shit, we fell asleep?” he whispers, head whipping around your room.

“Fuck, you have to hide right now,” you whisper, stumbling through your thoughts sleepily.

Another knock sounds from the door.

You extract yourself from your spot between Rafe and the wall, his hands guiding you by your hips as you tumble over him.

“Just, fuck, just like—get under the covers or something. God, I hope it’s not my dad,” you whisper.

“Me too,” he says, slinking into the gap between your bed and the wall as best he can, covering his face with a pillow.

You check that he’s concealed enough, turning to open the door just the slightest bit. Dylan stands in the crack.

“We have brunch at the Club in an hour, mom wanted me to ask if you invited Rafe,” he peers around you, gaze moving to behind your shoulder. “Or I could just ask him myself. Sup, Rafe?”

“Shut the fuck up, Dyl,” you whisper-shout. “Where are mom and dad? Can he sneak out the back? And don’t lie to me, or I’ll tell them about Hilton Head.”

“God, calm down. Dad’s in the garage and mom’s getting ready. Just have him go now.”

“Thanks,” you say, all but slamming the door in his face. You turn around and press your back against the door, letting out a shaky breath.

The covers rustle, and Rafe springs out of your bed to gather his things while Wilbur watches him. He always starts pouting when he notices that Rafe is putting on his hat or shoes, signs that he’s about to leave.

“We are so dead.”

“You don’t think he’ll say anything, do you? I don’t think I can sit at brunch with your dad in an hour if he knows I slept in your bed last night.”

“Not if he’s smart,” you sigh. “Want me to walk you out?”

“No, I got it. Just keep Willy in here. I’ll text you when I make it out alive. If you don’t hear from me, just assume your father murdered me,” he jokes, leaning down to give you a kiss after he slips his shoes on. “See you back here in an hour?”

“Yes, please be early. And clean shaven.”

“Yes ma’am. And don’t insult me,” he mumbles against your lips.

“Nervous?”

“Not nearly as nervous as I will be if I get caught, sweetheart. Gotta go so I have time to shower—and shave. See you in a bit.”

He gives you one last kiss before he departs, and you move to the window with Wilbur to watch him slink across the backyard, arms crossed and a fond grin on your face. He turns and blows you one last kiss before he disappears around the side of your house.

—

“Y/n, can I speak to you for a second?”

Your dad’s voice comes from his study as you pass by, checking yourself over in the entryway mirror one more time. Rafe should be here any minute.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Come sit,” he says, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. You feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Your dad only invited you to talk in his study if it was something serious. The last time he did was when he told you he was going to take away your Range Rover if you didn’t pull your Bs up to As your freshman year of college. You’ve had a 4.0 ever since.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. Just wanted to talk about the new boyfriend.”

“What about him?”

“I always knew of him while the two of you were growing up. But I talked to him a bit back during Dylan’s grad week.”

As an unruly teenager and the rightful heir to his father's business, everyone in the Outer Banks knew about Rafe and his antics. Good or bad. You could even recall your mom gossiping to your dad, words passed on from Rose, about some of his more... notable incidences.

“Y-yeah, he's...” you trail off, searching for the right words to describe Rafe these days.

“Seems like a good kid,” your dad supplies.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Business, mostly. His future and whatnot.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, I just wonder... are you sure about this one? When you were kids, that boy was always causing trouble. And you know your mother and I were always so proud of how you stayed in line.”

“I know,” you sigh. “But Rafe’s not a boy anymore. Just give him a chance.”

“I will,” your dad says, slapping his knees to stand up. “But I'm also gonna give him a hard time.”

“Dad, please.”

“It’s my job. Your mom gets to freak out about Dylan moving out, and I get to handle scaring every man who gets to look at you.”

The doorbell rings.

“Please. I am literally begging.”

Your dad draws a fake halo around his head, and you just roll your eyes.

The morning gets off to an even more embarrassing start as soon as Rafe crosses the threshold into your house. Wilbur jumps into his arms immediately, all ninety pounds of him, and your mom’s eyes widen.

“My goodness, he’s usually so hesitant around strangers!”

Dylan chokes on a laugh, and if you weren’t across the room you’d have elbowed him in the ribs.

“Oh, I’ve walked Wilbur by Tanneyhill before.”

“Yeah, I-I love Willy. Mrs. Y/l/n, it’s so nice to see you again,” Rafe says, effortlessly following your lead after Wilbur scampers out of his hold. He shakes your mom’s hand politely. Your dad sidles up to her then, fixing Rafe with a stare harder than you’d prefer. “Mr. Y/l/n, you as well. Thanks again, to both of you, for inviting me.”

“Good to see you, Rafe,” your dad says, a strong hand clamping onto his shoulder. “Dylan, come say hi.”

Dylan’s grin is devilish, and you're just watching on in pure horror at this point. “How have you been, Rafe? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

—

Rafe’s grinning ear to ear, hand firm on your thigh, all of the windows in his truck rolled down. He even popped the sun roof, letting you blast your playlist all the way down the road.

“Okay—I just... did that go well?”

“You did great, Rafe.”

Despite Dylan's best efforts to embarrass you two, brunch had gone really well. Your dad took a second to let his guard down, unlike your mother who was immediately gushing over him. You could practically see the wheels in her head turning, the wedding colors she'd picked for you. And your dad came around quick enough once Rafe brought up Formula 1.

Your boyfriend looks so relieved, hand even coming to feel the air pass through his fingers as he hangs his arm out the window, hand on your thigh coming back up to steady the wheel. He taps on it excitedly.

“Lowkey, feel like I nailed it, baby.”

“Okay,” you giggle, leaning over to peck his check. You pull him in with a soft hand to the other side of his face. “Let’s not get too big for our britches.”

“Oh, I’m a parent-meeting expert now. Might go into consulting.”

“You’ve perfected the sport?” you joke.

“No, no. That’s—I’ve never actually met parents before,” he admits.

“No way?”

“Way? Have you?” he asks, slight edge seeping into his tone as he pulls up to the stoplight outside of your favorite coffee spot.

“Uh... once. We weren’t even really dating yet, but they came to visit and he like, ambushed me with them at dinner. They were kinda hippies, though.”

“Yeah?” His tone is clipped as he parks his truck.

“Yeah, some guy from my comparative literature class sophomore year,” you sigh. “But, you’re the first to meet my parents.”

“Mm,” he hums, fingers tapping on your knee. That satisfies him. He gathers one of your hands in his. “You coming in?”

“Will you just get me a latte? Kinda wanna call my mom and debrief.”

He laughs, kissing your knuckles. “I’ll give you a minute, sweetheart. Oat milk?”

—

Your original plans to meet the Camerons fell through, a last minute staging emergency arising when you were all supposed to go for dinner. You’d tried not to look down while Rafe attempted in earnest to cheer you up, telling you how pretty you looked while you took out your earrings and let your hair down. He'd kissed the crown of your hair and apologized profusely, promising they would love you when they finally got to meet you.

“M’not upset.”

“Okay.” His hand stroked your back through the thick cotton of one of his old water polo sweatshirts he’d let you borrow for the night.

“I’m just really nervous about meeting them. You might’ve set the bar a little too high with my parents.”

“You just have a great family.”

“I don’t know,” you said when you finally cracked a smile. “Made it pretty far on your first try.”

“Don’t worry. They’re going to love you, sweetheart.”

You let him kiss your cheek, your forehead, your nose and chin.

“Hope so.”

“Know so.”

And Rafe had somehow convinced your father to let you go to Midsummers with his family, promising to join up for pictures and greetings later. Your dad had willingly let him, to your surprise.

The event was a big deal to Figure 8 patriarchs and matriarchs alike, always trying to outdo the other in every way, all while feigning some sense of island camaraderie. But when Rafe had set aside time at brunch to specifically ask your family for their permission to accompany you to the event, they’d been hard pressed to say no. Your family immediately accepted Rafe as your boyfriend, any lingering hesitations about his character drowned out by the equal chances of your personal happiness and the heightening of their social and business profiles.

But he’d still come to your house to pick you up, ready to greet your parents in the foyer once again.

He takes one look at you in that blush pink dress, hair, makeup and jewelry all done up this time around, daisy flower crown in place, and flicks his eyes around his surroundings. Your father and Dylan were nowhere in sight, and your mother was busy fixing her earrings in the hall. He takes to your side immediately, a kiss to the side of your head followed by his lips pressing against your ear. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.”

With the high from those words, you ride in his truck to Midsummers, nerves never dissipating no matter how many reassurances he speaks across the summer air streaming in through the vehicle. “Remember, they’re gonna love you.”

He helps you down from his truck so you can focus on keeping your dress off the ground, assuring you for the fiftieth time that Rose is going to like your headpiece.

“Miss Y/l/n, how lovely to see you again you at last,” Ward sighs, sounding somewhat fond. “Rafe’s been talking my ear off about this, meeting you again even though we’ve already met. Sorry we couldn’t make it work earlier.”

“No worries, Mr. Cameron. Thank you so much for inviting me to tag along with your family at Midsummers. You as well, Mrs. Cameron. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you! And of course,” Rose says, bringing you in for a hug, one you definitely were not expecting.“You’re out in California, aren’t you?”

“Yes, home for the summer.”

“That’s a long way from here,” Ward says. His eyes flicker to Rafe. “Long way from Georgia. Shorter, but still a long way.”

“Dad, c’mon,” Rafe cuts in, and you can feel his hand gripping the back of your dress:

“He’s just stating the obvious, Rafe,” Rose intervenes.

“Yeah, it is far,” you agree. Rafe’s head whips around back to you.

“We’re figuring it out,” he says. To anyone else in the vicinity, he probably sounds confident and self assured. But you know Rafe, and you can look into his eyes and see that he’s not. That if he weren’t in front of his entire family, trying earnestly to impress his father, he’d have said: ‘we’re gonna figure it out, right?’

“I’m sure things will work out the way they’re meant to,” Ward says after a lapse in conversation. “One way or another.”

“Let’s get some photos so we can all enter and the two of you can run off,” Rose says immediately after, giving neither of you the time to say anything else.

You do your best to shake off Ward’s comment as the four of you join up with the Cameron daughters, plus Sarah’s boyfriend, John B. After posing for what felt like hours, the photographer asks you and John B to hop out so they can take some family pictures, the two of you swiping up a couple of Old Fashioneds from the bar. You have to assure Rafe twice that you’ll be okay for ten minutes on your own.

“First time meeting Ward?” Sarah’s boyfriend asks, leaned up against the bar like he owns the place.

“Er—of course not,” you say, like it’s obvious. But of course John B knew nothing about Figure 8 social circles. “Just the first time as Rafe’s girlfriend.”

“Yeah, you look nervous,” he admits, chuckling when your mouth drops open. “It’s not too obvious, I just know because—been in your shoes.”

You should be insulted that the teenager compares his and Sarah’s relationship with yours and Rafe’s, but you know he isn’t being malicious. You see nothing but kindness in his eyes. And it’s nice to have somewhat of a teammate in this situation, the two of you standing by while one of the most powerful families in Kildare poses together in their finest outfits.

Rafe looks hot in his grey suit, especially with the pocket square he’d agonized over for weeks before you gifted him one that was hand sewn from the extra material where your dress had been hemmed. Monogrammed, of course.

You’d decided to go with his initials, since it was going to him after all. But your stomach gets fluttery if you think about the expression on his face when he’d received it, telling you that you should’ve put yours on it instead. “That way everyone will know I’m yours.”

Turning back to John B, you can’t imagine how he must have felt the first time he was invited into all of this. It intimidated even you, and you’re pretty sure John B was friends with the boy who delivered your family’s groceries every week.

“Any tips?”

“You’re way better off than I was, first of all,” he laughs. “But he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one. He cares too much about this appearance of a perfect family to make digs in front of an audience.”

You nod. “That’s actually really good advice, John B.”

“Don’t sound so surprised, kook.” He clinks his glass against yours, promptly throwing the entire drink back as you watch and laugh. “That’s another tip. Drink whenever you can.”

“I’m familiar with that one.”

It's intimidating entering the event, a little after everyone else has arrived. Rafe told you that was by design—the Camerons could never be earlier than fashionably late. You always assumed you and Rafe were raised with similar pedigrees, but you're barely through the doors of the event before you realize that's not entirely true. Up until the last millisecond, Rose is fussing with Sarah and Wheezie's gowns, the older daughter making eye contact with you and rolling her eyes at her step-mother's antics. And Ward brushes Rafe's shoulders off more times than you can count, straightening his bow tie for him repeatedly. Rafe just places his hand on your back, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “You ready?”

You smile up at him, but your nerves are firmly settled in at this point. What you reply isn’t completely true. “Of course.”

—

You take John B’s advice, of course, and choose Kelce as your designated drinking buddy for the night. He was hard to keep up with, but you threw your inhibitions to the wind after you got meeting the Camerons out of the way. Plus, Rafe had more business to attend to than he’d let on, and you were getting pretty bored. Not too long ago he would’ve been right beside the rest of you, causing trouble and borderline embarrassing all of your parents. It was weird to see him walking around, shaking hands and rubbing elbows. He’d invited you into a few conversations, you trying your hardest not to simply watch him in awe.

You’re engaged in some strange dance battle with Kelce when he stacks his drink into yours, both empties at this point. “Your turn to get a round.”

“Boo,” you sigh, throwing your head back. “What d’you want?”

“Surprise me.”

“Aye aye.”

You’re turning on a shaky high heel, and you have to give yourself a little mental pep talk to straighten up. Of course you can, though.

“What can I get you, miss?” the barkeep asks.

“Vodka press, Tito’s, and a Jack and coke. Double Jack. Actually—single. Thanks,” you murmur, trying to fish a ten out of your clutch.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got the tip for this one,” a voice says next to you. Ward Cameron is sidling up next to you, sliding a fifty across the counter. Your eyes widen at the tip, trying not to be embarrassed as the bartender sets the drinks down in front of you.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Cameron.”

“Ah, call me Ward.” He flicks his eyes back to the bartender, who quickly pockets the tip and makes himself scarce to give the two of you some privacy. You can’t help but think of John B’s warning: ‘he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one.’ There’s no point in even trying seek out Rafe, you knowing full well you’re expected to stay rooted to the spot until Ward dismisses you. “Having a good time?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “It’s always fun to come back out here for this.”

“So, California to Georgia,” he whistles. “That’s probably a five hour flight, at least.”

“Yeah, um,” you take a minute to make sure your flower crown is perfectly in place. “It’s actually two.”

“Excuse me?”

“Two flights. From his school to mine. Rafe checked, he said there’s nothing direct,” you clarify.

Ward let’s out an indifferent chuckle. “Of course he did.”

Your eyebrow furrows because you don’t know what to say, turning to look at where your drinks are starting to melt. Kelce would be wondering where you are by now if he wasn’t three sheets to the wind. And where the hell was Rafe?

“Y/n, as far as I can tell, you are a nice girl. I just need to make sure we’re on the same page about one thing.”

Your heartbeat that hadn’t really settled since Ward approached you is picking up again, and you really wish Rafe had been the least bit more concerned about where you were at this moment.

“Um, I-I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”

“I'm don’t know how serious you two are, Y/n, but I know my son. He's clearly very invested in pursuing you.”

Your resolve crumbles a little at that, your heart warming, thinking about Ward noticing something like that.

“But Rafe needs to be committed to finishing this degree so he can come home and start learning the ropes next year. And in four years, Sarah will do the same. Then Louisa after her.”

“Wow, that’s so lucky for you—that they all want to go into the family business,” you praise, not really knowing what else to say. It must be the wrong thing, because Ward just quirks an eyebrow.

“In this family, our business will always come first. Before anything and anyone else. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

You swallow, catching on to where this is going for the first time. You still go for playing dumb.

“Ward, I really don't think I understand.”

“But you do, don't you? You know Rafe. He’s a bit emotional, he’s a ‘feeler,’” Ward says sarcastically, putting it in air quotes. All of the niceties you experienced earlier when you first greeted Rafe’s family were long gone. You can only gather that it was all an act for Rafe’s benefit. But you know the only option is to sit there and take it. “He thinks with his heart, never enough with his head. Sarah, for example—when it’s time for her to cut that pogue lose, which it will be soon enough, I know she will. Whether it’s my decision or her’s. I can count on that, because she’s just like me in that respect; she knows we have to make sacrifices. But Rafe—I don’t think I can make that same assumption about him.”

“Ward, with all due respect, Rafe is really focused on the business.”

“You're correct, and I’ve worked hard to get him there. Which is why I can't have him spending his senior year of college, when he should be buckled down, traveling back and forth from California and getting distracted from his future by some girl.”

“Mr. Cameron, I would never—”

“You know that it’s true. I can tell you’re bright. You come from a great family.” It’s a compliment and an insult all at once. He likes you because of your father’s business and your mother’s social status, not because of what you do for Rafe, or what you have to show for yourself. He continues like it was nothing but the highest praise. “But right now, you are across the country from him, and I can bet he’s determined to make that work, no matter what it takes. Which I obviously can’t have,” Ward sighs. “It’s just not the right time. You can understand that, can't you?”

You nod numbly and pick up your drinks, hoping he’ll get the signal to wrap this up soon. You’re at the point where you can’t listen to this anymore, liquid courage re-flooding your veins.

“I’m not asking you to stay away from him, because you’re both adults,” Ward says, stopping you with a hand on your shoulder. “But I’m asking you to think long and hard about what’s best for the both of you. Rafe already knows what’s expected of him. He’s always known.”

You look back towards the crowd under the gazebo, able to make out John B of all people. He sees you talking to Ward, shooting you the most subtle thumbs up he can muster. He has no idea. You don’t take the chance to nod at him, turning back to the bar.

“Say the two of you let it go for the school year,” Ward bulldozes, taking a step closer to you. “And you end up back here too, great. But even then Rafe’s going to be working all the time, the longest hours he ever will in his life. For the next few years, Y/n. You’re so young—are you really going to tie yourself down to a commitment like that? What about your future?”

In a tone you hope comes across as confident, you say, “I really appreciate your concern, Ward.”

Ward's perfectly white teeth are pulling into an even more perfect grin, and the sight makes you sick.

“Great. I'm glad we had this talk.” He pats you on the back, leaving first before you get the chance to.

You just shuffle through the crowd numbly, not even reacting when someone steps on your toe, taking it all in stride as you seek the comfort of your friends once again.

You were foolish to think Ward would warm up to you immediately, or at all. You had been way too confident in yourself, especially after witnessing the wear working for his father had on Rafe. ‘He’s not an easy man to please.’ How could you be so naive, thinking you could coast by on your charm?

You’re a few feet away when you notice that Topper had joined up with Kelce again, as had your boyfriend. He’s joking with them, amused at the way Topper is clearly almost done tolerating Kelce’s drunken antics, but you stand and watch for a bit as he scans the crowd, gaze flickering toward the bar you’d just been at. You realize he’s looking for you when he finally spots you, his face relaxing as the two of you make eye contact.

“There you are.” He pulls you in close, kissing your forehead. You want to cry. “Where’d you run off to? One of those for me?”

He’s gesturing to the drinks you’re holding, reaching for the darker of the two. But Kelce is swooping in, snatching it out of your hold quickly. “Nope,” he pops the ‘p.’ “This one’s all mine. Sorry Cameron. Thanks Y/n/n.”

Rafe just rolls his eyes at the two of you, eyes lingering on your face when he notices your fallen expression. He sets your other drink down on the high top table you’re all standing next to, pulling you in by your hips. “You okay?”

If you had a choice right now, about how to proceed with telling or not telling Rafe about what had just happened, your instincts compel you to bypass the decision process altogether; you paint a careful smile on your face, shaking your head slightly. “Yeah, all good. Just zoned out for a sec.”

He isn’t convinced. “Tired?”

“Maybe a little. Kinda drunk. Are we leaving soon?” you ask, melting into him. It’s a lot easier to handle his tone of voice when you don’t have to look him directly in the eye.

“I vote yes,” Topper says, gesturing towards Kelce, who is somehow sucking down his new drink at an alarming pace while continuing to dance to the oldies tunes they play at these things. “Like, right now. Rafe, you’re hanging back right?”

You look back up at your boyfriend in confusion. “You’re not coming with us?”

He bite his lip in contemplation, looking around the party. The twinkly lights reflect off of his pupils, making him look starry-eyed as he surveys the crowd. A sea of opportunities to prove himself to his father. Rafe looks resolved when he turns back to you.

“Well... I was gonna stay, wrap up some stuff,” he explains. His eyes flicker across your face, still not pleased with your expression. “But that’s okay, I’m good to go now.”

“No, Rafe,” you say immediately. You take a deep breath, rolling back your shoulders and painting on a smile that comes easily with years of experience at parties like this. “Stay, I’ll go ahead. How long will you be?”

“An hour, tops. Will you take her?” Rafe looks hesitant, still taking your green light anyway, already slowly extracting himself from your hold, Topper rolling his eyes but nodding and beginning to corral Kelce toward the exit.

“I can’t believe you’re making me babysit two of them.”

“Don’t let her drink too much.”

“Hey,” you protest, pushing him in his chest half heartedly. The push barely does anything, only proving your impaired motor skills further. Or that you're dating a tree. “What are you, a cop?”

“I’m your boyfriend, actually.”

“Really? When did that happen?” you decide to play along, picking up your drink again.

“‘Bout a month ago, Y/l/n,” he says softly. He can see right through you, can tell you're putting on a show for all of your friends but you're still not okay. You have to break eye contact.

“Hmm, for some reason I thought you were just this guy from middle school.”

“At least this time nobody spilled on your dress,” he teases half-heartedly, and the memory only hurts you more. “Not sure I’d wanna sacrifice this one.”

“Can you—you guys are the worst. Focus. We need to go now, before Kelce gets his entire family blacklisted from the club. You coming or not, Y/n/n?” Topper begs.

You’re nodding, leaning up to give Rafe one last kiss before you leave. He holds you close to him with a firm hand on your back, voice dropping to a whisper right next to your ear. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

The lump in your throat is growing, but you push through, lowering yourself back down to your feet as soon as you can. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Focus on the rest of your night.”

Rafe still looks unsure, his hand resting on the nape of your neck as he kisses your forehead. “Y/n—”

“We’ll talk about it later, okay?” you finally admit. Rafe nods curtly, can tell you’re not going to let him leave with you right now. But he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know that if you pull him away from his responsibilities right after that talk you had with Ward, it’s going to spell disaster for the two of you.

“Just some business stuff, alright?” he assures you. “I’ll see you soon. Forty-five minutes.”

“Promise?” you murmur, fiddling with his pocket square. He smiles down at you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Promise. You look so pretty. Half an hour. Now go.”

Topper’s guiding you towards the parking lot with a polite hand on your back, but you have to watch Rafe as you leave. You watch him approach his dad, who gives him a smile and a pat on the back. Rafe preens under his gaze.

But Ward must have been watching you two from afar because his gaze is flickering back to you, and he fixes you with a hard stare. He raises his eyebrows, bringing his drink to his lips. Taking a leisurely sip, hint of a smirk on his face. You can practically hear his thoughts: ‘Rafe chose to stay here with me, with the business, and sent you off with his friends.’ It’s everything in you to not let the tears that have been building on your waterline spill over. But your friend isn’t easily fooled.

“Y’alright, Y/n?” Topper says from beside you, trusting Kelce enough to walk on his own as you all near the parking lot. He moves to follow your gaze but you stop him, quickening your pace towards his gray Jeep. “Did something happen?”

“Ward Cameron happened.”

———

tags: @moniamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @littlementalpolaroids

[satanfm]

hello! this is my smol messy child with a heart of gold lux !  i’m very excited to rp with all of you beauts, so pls give me all of your affection & plots 🥺 lux is twenty-three, a singer and professional nuisance to record companies, managers, collaborators, exes, and basically anyone who’s ever met her. positive traits are often overshadowed and forgotten due to the intensity of her negative traits.

chicago’s very own lux santana has been spotted on madison avenue driving a range rover , welcome ! your resemblance to sofia jamora is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty third birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re aggressive , but being confident might help you . i think being a leo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be being soft and stone cold at the same, broken guitar strings, & singing songs under her breath. (lux doesn’t want children, so when she got pregnant she had an abortion and lied about it to the father by faking a miscarriage) & ( cis female & she/her) + ( hailey , 19 , she/her, cst)

— “ basics ! ’ 〉

full name. lux santana. 

nicknames. friends can her lux, and enemies call her satan. 

age. twenty-three. 

date of birth. july 26. 

occupation. singer/songwriter. 

sexual orientation. pansexual. 

birthplace. chicago. 

zodiac. leo. 

spoken languages. fluent in english, spanish & some french.

— “ backstory ! ’ 〉

satan ... i mean lux santana was actually born delilah humpries and raised in chicago. her father is one of those important political bigwigs and...all she knows about her mother is that she’s never known her mother.

her dad was the typical rich successful man who showered his child in all of the presents and money that she could ever ask for in order to make up for the fact that he was always too busy working to ever spend any actual time with her and instead left lux to be raised by a revolving door of nannies

from a young age it was obvious that lux had a talent for music & ofc her dad was willing to pay for her lessons so long as it kept her occupied so she started with singing and piano but moved on to learn a few other instruments including the guitar and even began dipping her toes into songwriting. by the age of 14 she had written and recorded a whole demo album in her bedroom and once it was done, she started sneaking out at night so that she could go hang around the local big name recording studios in the hopes that she would catch a producer leaving for the day and hopefully convince them to listen to her demo

she never did

sis really tried though. now ofc her dad could’ve paid a record company to just hand her a contract and she knew that, but dammit. lux wanted music to be her lifelong career and she wanted to earn it herself. she knew that she was genuinely talented even though her demo album was probs lowkey garbage lmao and she knew that she could be successful, and she didn’t want anyone to be able to say that she didn’t truly work for her career

she was so determined that she spent y e a r s relentlessly hounding record companies but no one would give her the time of day, so she developed a different strategy after seeing some flyers around the city and at the age of 16 she joined a local bar band who happened to seeking a lead singer...and got kicked out like two weeks later for being absolutely fucking insufferable

join local band in need of a lead singer. attempt to overhaul said band and push all of the other members into the background. face resistance from said other members. get angry, lash out, get kicked out of the band, repeat. it was a vicious cycle that went on for a couple years.

it was while she was in the midst of this vicious cycle that she met her (now ex) boyfriend and they were...whew. A WHOLE MESS. he was the frontman of a different band that was gaining more and more popularity by the day. he was older and he seemed so cool, and so ofc lux fell for him hard. they got together and appeared to be madly in love, but all was not perfect at all.

they were veeeery on and off, the type of couple to get in a screaming match and “break up” over nothing only to get back together like ten minutes later. this guy also wound up getting lux hooked on drugs, getting her arrested, getting her name plastered all over the tabloids for everything except her music, which was something that she still hadn’t quite found her footing in yet

until finally at the age of 19 she landed a record deal and, at the age of 21 after a lot of delays that had to do with her perfectionist nature and tumultuous relationship her first album was released and turned out to be a major success with all of the singles charting, lots of streams and airplay and a sold out debut tour that would unfortunately get cut short

so basically what happened was her bf showed up after one of her concerts and ofc they got high together, but then lux started to overdose. she passed out, but her bf thought she was dead and ofc he freaked out so, uh...he ran. literally bolted out of her tour bus and lux has not seen him since

fortunately she was found by someone else in time and rushed to the hospital. of course the rest of her tour was cancelled so that she could recover and she subsequently did the obligatory few months in rehab only to get out and immediately go back to using. that was over a year ago now and since then she’s been working on her second album aaaand it’s almost finished! people are starting to wonder what’s taking her so long and the answer is honestly just the fact that she’s nearly impossible to work with tbh

— “ fun facts / headcanons ! ’ 〉

lux is lux, not delilah. she uses the stage name in order to a) be pretentious and b) distance herself from her family name as a way to shut down the argument that it’s the only reason why she’s famous/successful. as for where the name came from? but yeah. lux, not delilah, or she’ll get all huffy.

pan af, has dated & hooked up with people both before and after her disaster bf and sometimes while they were “broken up” for all of ten minutes. tbh she kinda...gets with people solely to use them as songwriting material and then just dumps them when she’s gotten some material out of them? yikes! so she can be a bit of a heartbreaker.

since music is really the only thing in her life that she takes seriously, it’s what most of her energy tends to go into and it’s why she can be so impossible to work with. she’s always full steam ahead and she always thinks that she’s right, which doesn’t really pair well with the fact that she’s also very stubborn. recording studio employees have literally quit on her in the middle of a song more than once before bc they just couldn’t deal with her anymore. she’s that bad.

she’s quite intelligent and empathetic and genuinely talented but unfortunately her stubbornness and perfectionism and short temper often overshadow her best qualities and become all that people are able to see when they look at her. lux, surprisingly, doesn’t seem to realize that dialing back the attitude might help her in her quest to be just be taken seriously for fuck’s sake

she is the embodiment of ' 5′1 but attitude 6′2′.

can be v reckless, willing to try anything once.

she's v free spirited but can be flighty, never wanting to settle, always on to the next thing, whatever it may be.

big on living in the moment, future who?

— “ wanted plots ! ’ 〉

some potential wc i’m terrible at thinking of these so please don’t feel limited by this list!

best friends

step siblings

cousins

perhaps someone from her mom’s side of the fam

attempted good influence

exes ( she probs has a bunch who hate her )

former / current hookups ( again, she probably has a bunch )

ex friends / bridges she’s burned ( probs has more of these than anything else lmao )

straight up enemies

other singers or musicians who have tried to work with her

people she’s written songs about!

[alpha-imagines]

8th Grade Valentine’s- Billy Hargrove

A/N: Aw this was such a cute idea thank you to whoever suggested it!! Another part of New Boy should be up tomorrow but i wanted to post this on Valentine’s day so here ya go! Hope you’re all having a fun day no matter what you’re doing!

Requested by Anonymous:  so i saw that you wanted some ideas for billy, and i thought of something v-day related. so what i was thinking was like reader is the partys babysitter and dustin is "in love" w her and he asks her to be his valentine before billiam couldve asked her and hes lowkey pissed about it bc he cant spend time w his girl bc some fucking 8th grader asked her first???

The first time you properly met Billy Hargrove was at Joanna Cleeves’ Christmas party. Her parents were away and Carol had convinced her that she had to host a festive gathering which slowly turned into a house party for what felt like the entire school.

You and your best friend had arrived, got unequivocally drunk before you had encouragingly pushed her into the arms of Craig Lawson who she’d been crushing on for pretty much her entire life.

“Hey Angel” You heard from behind you and although your reflexes were pretty out of sync you slowly turned your head and saw that Billy Hargrove was leant against the counter behind you, red cup to his lips that partly masked his brimming smirk.

“Uh Hi” You mumbled, confused as to whether or not Billy Hargrove was actually talking to you or maybe someone behind you.

“You look to die for” He smirked and sent a wink your way, despite the alcohol that was spinning his brain he didn’t miss the blush that covered your cheeks.

“Thanks” You replied sceptically only for you to realise you were being pulled further away from Billy by someone who had a grip on your elbow

“Hey!” You exclaimed before your vision caught up with you “Oh hey Steve” You smiled pulling him into a drunken embrace

You didn’t really know Steve all that well, you shared a couple of classes with him but recently you saw more of him thanks to Dustin Henderson. When your parents separated your mom wanted to downsize, so you stayed with her and moved to a smaller house a few doors down from the Henderson’s.

It started out with the odd bit of housesitting when they were out of town for the weekend and gradually you started to babysit whenever Claudia went out and eventually you occasionally took Dustin to school or his friends. You got on really well with Dustin and got to know the other boys pretty well, and when Dustin started spending time with Steve it was inevitable that your paths would cross at some point.

You couldn’t really remember much of that night apart from sitting on the front lawn and drunkenly spilling secrets with Billy who’d followed you out there only to be snatched up and driven home by Steve who announced that you were “too drunk” and “too nice” to be alone with Billy Hargrove.

But that was the first time you’d spoken to Billy and the pair of you had hit it off after that. Winks in the corridor and at basketball game, him stopping by your locker before walking you to history so he could miss 5 minutes of maths. You two were friends but he flirted furiously and you didn’t mind it at all, much to Steve’s disapproval.

“Dustin said you were sitting for him tonight?” Steve asked as the pair of you walked away from the gymnasium after Hawkins High had thrashed the other team at a basketball game.

“Oh yeah” You remembered “I’m going for 6 if you had plans with him first”

“No, no plans” Steve said and scratched the back of his neck nervously “I just have a favour to ask you”

“Sure” You smiled as you approached his car and slid into the passenger seat.

“So are you like around on Valentine’s Day?” He asked, turning in his seat to face you

“What?” You stammered “Oh um Steve…”

“No no no” He quickly interjected, holding his hands up innocently “Not for me, but maybe for Dustin?”

It took you a moment to think, and you were about to respond with a somewhat hesitant “ok” when Steve interrupted you

“Don’t tell Dustin I told you this, because he’ll kill me” He laughed “But he kinda has this big crush on you and he didn’t want to go to the valentines dance alone and I figured..”

“Sure” You smiled reassuringly at Steve who then released a breath that he didn’t even realise he was holding.

You liked Dustin, he was a sweet kid, a little weird but he was always sweet. You didn’t mind giving up your valentines to help him out, but you had a feeling that perhaps Billy would.

“So what film do you wanna watch?” You asked Dustin, your legs stretched out on the sofa as you flicked absently through the channels

“Hey what’s up?” You asked when he didn’t respond, you scooted off the couch and sat next to him on the carpet, your back resting up against the sofa.

You knew something was up with him, his shoulders were slumped and he wasn’t rambling on about some physics theory or how to win at the arcade games.

“So are you going to the valentine’s dance?” You asked, bumping his shoulder with your own to prompt him to look at you

“No” He sighed “Lucas is taking Max so I don’t wanna be there”

“Ahh” You sighed sympathetically, he’d told you about how he liked Max and he also told you how she liked Lucas, it was no one’s fault but the boy was clearly still upset by it all

“Well I’ve got no plans either” You shrugged “Maybe we could do something?”

“What?” His head whipped round to look at you which only made you crack a smile

“Yeah I could take you out” You clarified “If you wanted?”

His vigorous nod told you all you needed to know, making the pair of you smile. He seemed happier after that, picking out a movie and chatting the whole way through it like he normally did, it made you smile to know you’d made him happier.

“Morning angel” You heard from behind your ear as a pair of arms snaked their way around your waist

“Billy” You laughed, trying to sound serious but ultimately failing “Not here”

“Why not?” He asked with a smirk “Afraid your good girl act might falter?”

“Not funny” You replied and turned around to give him a light smack on the chest “But I’ve got to get to chemistry so I’ll see you at break” You said and pulled away from him to start heading to your classroom

“You know where to find me” He smirked, his hand still entwined with yours but you let him go as the final bell rung and the corridors began to clear.

As you had said, you met him at his car at the start of lunch, he was leant against the driver’s side, clouds of smoke falling from his lips, his brows drawn into their usual frown from the sunlight as he watched you walk closer to him.

“So” He began as you got close enough to him for him to wrap his arms around you once more

“So” You repeated looking up at him and brushing the speck of dust off of his cheek

You and Billy weren’t officially dating but you’d be heartbroken if he was with anyone else the way he was with you and secretly you hoped he’d be the same if it were you.

“So I was thinking” He started

“Uh oh that could be dangerous” You smirked up at him which earnt you an unimpressed glare

“I was thinking maybe once Susan and my dad are back from whatever stupid adult thing their doing, and Max’s is at her lame dance, maybe we could do something, you know on Valentine’s Day”

Your heart swelled at what Billy was saying, initially he told you that he wasn’t about because he had to look after Max but now he was actually putting in an effort to show he cared, except you already had plans.

“I didn’t think we were doing anything?” You frowned up at him

“Well we are now” He smiled and brushed your hair back behind your ear

“Unless you don’t want to” He stammered after you stood there silently chewing the inside of your cheek

“No no I do want to” You clarified and forced a smile onto your face

“Then what’s the problem?” He asked, he was starting to sound angry and the last thing you wanted was for him to cause a scene

“Billy” You began only to be immediately cut off

“What? You seeing someone else now is that it?” He said pushing you lightly away from him to create some space

“Not like that” You tried to explain “I said I’d take Dustin out on Valentine’s Day”

“Dustin?” Billy spat “As in my little sister’s nerdy friend, 8th grader, ‘son of a bitch’ Dustin?”

“I didn’t want him to be alone on Valentine’s Billy” You pleaded, stepping an inch closer to him

“So you’re gonna ditch me for an 8th grader?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, hoping that you were joking with him

“Billy we can hang out afterwards ok” You tried to reason

“You’re actually going on a date with an 8th grader over me?”

“What difference does it make when you’re already acting like an 8th grader” You quipped back before turning on your heels and heading back towards the cafeteria

“Hey Handsome” You smiled as you spoke through your open car window as Dustin came towards you “So I thought maybe we could go catch a movie then go for food, how’s that sound?”

“Good” He smiled “Great”

“Good” You smiled back triumphantly and sent a quick wave to Mrs Henderson who was stood on the doorstep, cat in her arms, waving at the pair of you.

You’d finished the movie and surprisingly you’d only had to tell Dustin to shut up three times throughout the whole film which seemed like an achievement in itself.

The pair of you then walked a few blocks to go and grab something to eat, you shared a booth and both silently deliberated over the menu before an unenthusiastic waitress came to take your order.

“Hey angel” You heard and instantly you whipped your head around to see Billy stood by your booth and a bunch of flowers that looked a little worse for wears in his hand

“Billy?” You asked with raised eyebrows

“Well I couldn’t not give my girl a valentine’s present could I?” He smiled and motioned for you to slide along, which you did.

“Billy what are you doing here?” You whispered harshly

“I came to see my girl on Valentine’s” He smiled and placed the bouquet of flowers in your hand “Sorry they’re crappy it’s all they had”

“Thanks Billy” You smiled sincerely

“Sorry to steal your date kid” He said, leaning back in his seat “She’s just too hard to resist”

Although you failed at hiding the smirk on your lips you smacked him lightly on the shoulder

“Well if you’re going to gate crash at least go and get me some ketchup” You ordered and prodded him with your finger until he got up and did what you’d told him

“Sorry Dustin” You said with an apologetic smile

“Steve never said he was your boyfriend?” Dustin said confusedly just as the waitress brought over your fries and milkshakes

“He’s not really my boyfriend” You began “It’s complicated” You shrugged

“Steve says he’s a psycho” Dustin said somewhat hesitantly as he took a sip of his milkshake

“I can tell him to go” You said, ignoring his previous comment “I’ll tell him to go”

You slid out from your seat and walked over to where Billy was wrestling with the ketchup bottle

“Do you think maybe this is the best idea?” You asked as your hand rested on his back as he turned to look at you

“Whatta you mean?” He asked, his brows furrowing at your question

“Well you know” You began, averting your gaze from his broken expression “You tried to beat up his best friend, he’s kinda scared of you”

He swallowed hard at the realisation that you somehow knew what had happened before Christmas, and all of a sudden he felt guilty for ruining your date.

“I’m not going to hurt him” He said, his tone was confused as if you were suggesting that he might

“I know you wouldn’t” You smiled, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles “It’s just- I don’t know maybe three’s a crowd?” You cringed expecting some sort of angry response about you putting some kid before him but to your surprise he slowly nodded and placed the ketchup bottle back down on the side

“I promise I’ll make it up to you” You smiled and leant in for a quick kiss

“You better” He smirked once you’d parted lips “You better get her home safe Henderson!” He called out into the diner and Dustin’s eyes were suddenly wild with fear

You laughed and slapped his chest playfully, shaking your head at his comment

“Thank you Billy” You said, your hand pulling him back as he began to head for the exit “and Happy Valentine’s Day”

“Don’t have too much fun” He smiled but you could sense some serious in his tone, he hated the idea of you having fun with someone that wasn’t him, even if it was with an 8th grader

“Not without you” You smiled before letting his hand fall out of yours and watching him walk towards his blue Camaro.

“So how was your date?” He asked, his fingers combing through your hair as your head laid on his chest

“It was nice” You smiled “Thank you for not throwing a tantrum” You said, turning to put your chin on his chest to look at his face

“A tantrum?” He asked, propping himself up slightly “You tryna say I throw tantrums?”

“You know you do” You laughed and Billy couldn’t help but smile back at you

“Well maybe I’ve shown I could be boyfriend material” He said but it came out more like a question

“Maybe you have” You smiled and leant in for another kiss.

You had to admit it had turned out to be a pretty successful Valentine’s Day for all of you.

[chasholidays]

If I Say You Have a Beautiful Body

Fill for @reblogginhood and @fadingdefendorlight, both of whom prompted a variation on “Bellamy tries to flirt, Clarke doesn’t realize he’s serious, and their friends laugh at them”

Group: tfw your friends' sexual tension is ruining your lives

Jasper: ok I know I've been warned about this BUT I think something is actually happening w Clarke and Bellamy for real

Raven named the conversation "Bellarke fanfiction by Jasper Jordan"

Monty: I don't approve of "Bellarke" for the ship name I don't like portmanteaus I think we can do better Maybe something with occupations The sky's the limit

Jasper: we are getting off topic also it's not fanfiction if it's REAL Raven I'm talking about real events I witnessed

Nate: I hate to say this like it's physically painful but I think Jasper's right

Jasper: VINDICATION seriously tho Miller should have insight I think Bellamy's getting his head out of his ass

Nate: yeah no let's not get carried away Bellamy's head is still firmly in his ass but I saw him googling "how to flirt" so it's like facing the right direction in his ass

Monty: Wait, he's googling flirting? Doesn't he already know? I feel like we've seen him successfully flirt Raven? Thoughts?

Raven: yeah his face does like 90% of the work for him also I made the first move when we slept together he was honestly pretty confused about the whole thing don't get me wrong, I've seen him flirt but it's not like he's good at it

Monty: But his face

Raven: p much anyway tbh I bet he has no clue how to flirt with CLARKE and it's not like the internet's going to help him

Nate: yeah honestly what was he doing, Jasper?

Jasper: pickup lines and, like bad ones

Raven: YOU think they're bad?

Jasper: yup we are through the looking glass here people Bellamy is flirting with Clarke and he sucks at it on a level we never anticipated

Raven: come on there's no way him actually flirting with her is going to be worse than him failing to flirt

Monty: If this was a TV show This is when they'd play the dramatic music and smash cut to how bad Bellamy's bad flirting is

Jasper: it's bad heed my warnings I know from bad flirting he asked if she came here often at the store she owns that was his angle

Monty: What did she say?

Jasper: that's the other thing Clarke's not good at this either remember when Lexa was flirting with her??? and it was excruciating because Clarke just didn't notice??? she was just like, yes, Bellamy, I'm here all the time stop being a dick I know I work a lot so let's all be prepared here the actual flirting might somehow be worse than the sexual tension

Nate named the conversation "be careful what you wish for"

Jasper: yeah sounds right

*

No one believes Bellamy when he says he's been trying to flirt with Clarke since he met her. Or, more accurately, that he tried to flirt with her the first time he met her, and there was no denial or angst or uncertainty involved. She was working at the same coffee shop his sister was working, she was cute, and he didn't see any harm in trying to get her number.

And he did get it, of course, but instead of that turning into a date, she became his best friend. Which he isn't upset about, obviously; now that he knows her, he has no idea how it would have gone if they'd actually tried a romance back then. They needed time to get used to each other.

Miller calls this making excuses, but Miller is an asshole.

The point is this: Clarke considers lowkey flirtation to be a background part of their relationship. That's how it's always been for them, which means that upgrading from their regular flirting to real flirting is, well, complicated.

"You know what would be easy?" Octavia asks, once he's finished telling her about his first spectacular failure to give Clarke serious flirtingsignals. He's not sure why he told her about it, except that they call once a week and he sometimes has trouble keeping her on the phone. Making fun of him is a good tactic. "Asking her out."

"I decided I don't believe in that anymore."

"Wow. That's a new excuse for being single."

He huffs. "Not how you're thinking. Just--I don't think that doing this as some formal dating thing is ever going to work. This is Clarke. We're not like that."

"I still can't believe you actually fell in love with one of my coworkers from my part-time job in college," she says. He can practically see her shaking her head. "I'm not in touch with anyone from that job except as Facebook friends. I wouldn't ever think about her, except for you."

"You can't tell who's going to be important to you," he says.

"I guess not, Hallmark card." She sighs, like the conversation is a great burden. "So, you aren't going to formally date. That means you can't just tell her you're into her? Direct and to the point seems safest to me. Don't make her guess what you're going for."

For a few seconds, he tries to come up with a real excuse, but it's hopeless. "Too scary," he admits. "I'm trying to make it organic."

"So, your plan is to treat your dating life like you treat your hair? Take half an hour every morning to make it look like you put no effort into it even though you're really fucking vain?"

"Pretty much exactly that, yeah."

"And your plan for that is to flirt with her more."

"Until I come up with something better, yeah."

"I'm not holding my breath," says his sister, and he sighs.

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it."

*

Clarke: Oh my god I'm so bored This is so boring I just want to go to sleep

Bellamy: Yeah? You like sleeping?

Clarke: ??? It's a biological necessity That's like asking if I like breathing

Bellamy: We should try doing it together sometime

Clarke: That was so much setup for such a bad line It sounds like you want us to breathe together But A for effort And thanks for the laugh Appreciated My mom heard it and looked at me like I was shaming the whole family for laughing at a serious event

Bellamy: Yeah Any time

*

"You noticed Bellamy acting weird?"

Clarke has to consider the question carefully, finally settles on, "Weird for a normal person or weird for Bellamy?"

Raven snorts. "So, yes?"

"Not that weird."

"Uh huh."

"You know you could just tell me what you're worried about, right? I might not have noticed."

"Yeah, that sounds right."

Clarke sighs. She's used to everyone being kind of dicks about her and Bellamy. She even gets it, honestly. The two of them getting together is one of those things that feels right. Clarke would like to say it's just societal programming, but given she'd be completely and totally down if Bellamy ever indicated romantic interest, it's hard to argue their friends are just seeing what they want to see.

At least on her side. Bellamy is one of those people who has sexual tension with everything, though, so it's hard for Clarke to feel special. He could probably seduce a dishtowel, if he wanted to.

"Seriously, this conversation would suck a lot less if you just told me what it was about."

Her tone is just sharp enough for Raven to catch the genuine hurt there, and she winces. It's not exactly a victory, but it's probably necessary. She doesn't like guilting people, but no one seems to get how annoying the whole thing is for her. It's not fun, being hopelessly in love with her best friend. Everyone acting like they're ridiculous for not being together doesn't help.

"Jasper thinks he's hitting on you."

"Jasper always thinks he's hitting on me."

"I know, but this one sounded more legit. Which is why I was asking you. But you never think he's hitting on you."

"I did, once," she protests. "I tried it, and he wasn't interested. He just likes flirting."

"He doesn't," says Raven, to her surprise. "Seriously, he's terrible at flirting."

"He still likes it. And he does fine."

"When he wants to. When's the last time he hooked up with anyone?"

"It's been a while. That doesn't mean it has anything to do with me," she adds, and Raven shrugs one shoulder.

"Yeah. It doesn't mean it doesn't, either."

"So, your question is do I think Bellamy is hitting on me."

"No, I know you don't think that. You never think that. But maybe keep an eye open."

"Based on Jasper's testimony? Really?"

She shrugs again. "And, you know, all the other stuff I've ever said about how I think he's into you. Why do you think he's not, again?"

"Because I asked him out and he said no."

"Like--two years ago, right?"

"Something like that. And don't tell me he could have changed his mind, I know he could have. But he knows I'm interested."

"I guess," says Raven, not sounding convinced. "Just--don't give up on it, okay? Maybe it's not what you think."

It's the least necessary advice of all time; if she knew how to give up on Bellamy, she already would have. If she could be done with it, she would.

"Don't worry," she says. "I'm pretty sure the feelings aren't going anywhere.

*

Group: are those moon pants? because your ass is out of this world

Raven: okay not to be a buzzkill but I think Clarke's actually upset about the whole Bellamy thing

Nate: she doesn't want him to hit on her? should I try to talk him out of it?

Raven: did he admit he's doing it?

Nate: no but I could still try to talk him out of it

Raven: I think maybe just leave her alone I tried to ask and she got prickly she's convinced she made a move years ago and he shot her down which I always forget about because it sounds so fake

Nate: if he did, he doesn't know about it

Monty named the conversation "#otp: incompetence kink"

Raven: someday they're going to find out about this group and murder us

Nate: not if they're getting laid endorphins reduce homicidal urges

Monty: citation needed

Nate: come over and we can test it

Monty: [kissy face emoji] very smooth

Jasper: FLIRTING IN PRIVATE MESSAGES ONLY

Raven: yeah, slide into those DMs, Miller

Nate: way ahead of you

*

The thing about being in love with your best friend is that it's simultaneously very easy and very hard to feel comfortable with it. Bellamy already gets almost everything he wants out of his relationship with Clarke, if he's honest. It's just the sex that's missing, and while sex is something, it's not everything.

It's why he doesn't want to risk losing her, but also why he can't just let the whole thing go. It would be so good, if she felt the same way he does, and it's finally gotten to the point where he needs to know if he could have that, or if he needs to move on already.

But he still doesn't know how to just ask.

Part of it is, like he told his sister, cowardice, but the other problem is how intimate they already are. It's two weeks since he stepped up his flirting game, and Clarke doesn't seem to have noticed, but she's coming over for dinner and a movie, just the two of them. The only difference between their typical Friday night and a date is that they are not, officially, romantic.

It's a difference he'd like to just get rid of, which is why he opens the door shirtless this week.

"Hey, you're early."

Clarke's eyes flick up and down his body, dispassionate. "I'm on time. Did you just get out of the shower?"

"I just don't put on a shirt if I'm not going to see people. My apartment is warm."

She pokes his nipple with her pinkie finger. "Is it?"

"Fine, I'll go put a shirt on. I thought you might enjoy that," he adds. "I'm very desirable."

"Uh huh," she says. "I'm not saying I'm not enjoying it. Just that I'm not really buying your excuse."

"Yeah, I definitely wanted you to be overcome with lust and jump me."

"Tempting, but I want dinner first. Can I do anything to help?"

And that's how it goes. He cooks and she helps, and they end up on the couch side-by-side with plates of food, the best relationship he's ever been in that involves absolutely no overt romance.

"Raven asked me if you were acting weird," she admits, soft, like she's not sure she should be saying it.

"And?"

"And I think you kind of are. Everything okay?"

This is his opening to say the right thing, to tell her that he's in love with her and he's kind of failing to express it well.

But if he could say that, he wouldn't be failing so much. So instead he kicks his legs up on the coffee table with a shrug. "Yeah, everything's fine. How about you?"

She nods, but there's something a little odd in it. "I'm good."

*

Bellamy: Are you thirsty?

Me: Actually yeah Myles called in sick so I've been on the register forever

Bellamy: I have water And a dick I don't know if you meant you're thirsty for dick or water, but I have both

Me: I think you didn't actually care about the answer to that question Also your pickup lines need work

Bellamy: If you'd said no I would have been in bad shape I can bring you coffee

Me: And your dick, I assume

Bellamy: It comes with me most places, yeah See you in ten

*

"I think you might have been right about Bellamy," Clarke admits to Raven. It feels like surrendering, but for once, she actually wants advice. "I think he might be hitting on me."

Raven frowns. "Okay, so--why aren't you happy about it?"

"I guess I'm not--you know how I feel about him, right?"

"Everyone knows, yeah. You guys are pretty obvious."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me, but--" She sighs. "Look, I thought about it, after what you said, and I realized he's not. In love with me."

"So, you thought it over and decided Bellamy's hitting on you, but he's not in love with you."

"He thinks we should fuck," she says, flat. "And it's not even--I get it. If I wasn't into him, I'd think it was a great idea, but--"

But you're into him, and you think he's not into you. Look, Clarke, I get that this is--big. For you guys. Years of pining finally maybe going official. But seriously, it's mutual. There's no fucking way he doesn't feel the same way."

"I thought about it. I checked our texts. He definitely wants to fuck me."

"Yeah, no one's denying that he wants to fuck you. We're all on the same page with that. But if he thinks he's just interested in sex, it's because he's in denial too."

Clarke has to smile. "I know you think that, but--"

"I will bet you real, actual money. Seriously."

"Then why isn't he just saying that?" she asks. "Why would he be using--shitty pickup lines?"

"Why aren't you telling him you're in love with him?"

"Because I tried--"

"Remind me what you did last time," says Raven. "Humor me."

Clarke wets her lips. "I asked if he wanted to go out to dinner, and he said no, because he already had a date. And when I asked how it went the next day, he said they weren't going out again. So I asked again, and he said he was busy. So--not interested. I gave him plenty of chances, but he's just not."

"How many times has Bellamy hit on you in the last, what, two weeks?"

"I haven't been keeping count."

"Ballpark."

"Five to ten."

"And you've shot him down every time, right?"

"I haven't shot him down. I've just--I figured he was joking. I'm pretty sure I didn't notice some of them. I wasn't like, I never want to fuck you or anything."

"He didn't tell you he never wanted to date you either. Yeah, okay, maybe he was letting you down easy, or maybe he didn't figure out that you were trying to ask him out. Honestly, I might not have. So--maybe he's trying to make the same move you were, except he's going bad pickup instead of ambiguous dinner."

"It wasn't ambiguous!" she protests. "If he'd wanted to go out again--"

"How many times have you guys had dinner together? No offense, but I'm just not convinced he would have thought it was that special."

There's an argument to be made for that one, Clarke has to admit. When she'd asked, it felt monumental, like she was really putting herself out there, making the big move, but she'd also been careful to not give away too much. To give Bellamy an out, and herself. To preserve their friendship if it didn't work out.

That, at least, happened. But if Bellamy didn't know, and if he wants the same out now, she could believe that he's going with kind of ridiculous and over the top, for deniability.

And then the rest of the implications of that sink in.

"You think he might really like me," she says.

"Seriously, I already have money on this, if you want me to put more money on it I will. Gina is actually tired of hearing about how you guys are going to date. Not because she used to have a thing for Bellamy," Raven adds, before Clarke can ask. "Because it's just boring now. Unless I have better updates, she's not interested. It's just boring and sad if nothing ever happens."

"I should probably talk to him, huh?"

"Understatement."

"Would Gina be cool with it if you stayed at her place tonight?"

"Planning on getting laid?" she teases.

"He's made it pretty clear that's an option, yeah."

Raven smirks. "Then yeah, I think I can find somewhere else to be."

*

Group: are we creepy? no, it's the children who are wrong

Raven: RED ALERT RED ALERT I swear to god Clarke is texting Bellamy to ask him to come over so they can actually talk about their shit RIGHT NOW This is happening this is not a drill I'm on the train to Gina's now because Clarke is planning to have sex

Nate: what

Raven: Scout's honor, Miller

Nate: you're not a scout

Raven: And I'm pretty dishonorable But fucking seriously I think she's really going to do it

Jasper: !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jasper named the conversation "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jasper: WHERE IS MONTY WHY IS HE NOT HERE this is an historic event a historic event? I don't care this is going to be like when JFK got shot in the sense that we'll remember where we were when it happened not in any other ways seriously where is he

Nate: dentist don't worry, he'll freak out soon btw Bellamy just texted me that he's "hanging out with Clarke" tonight guessing he has no clue

Raven: I feel like Jasper shouldn't have changed the chat name We're so fucking creepy

Nate: did you do this when me and Monty were getting together?

Raven: We didn't need to You guys took like three weeks Not 84 years

Nate: man here's hoping after tonight, we never have to use this group chat again

Jasper: it's been an honor serving with you guys let's all go do other stuff and try not to wonder if our friends are having sex

Raven named the conversation "we're fucking creepy, but at least bellamy and clarke are on a date"

Nate: tbh

*

Depending on what happens tonight, Bellamy thinks it's probably about time to switch his seduction tactics, because whatever he's doing now isn't working.

His sister might be right; he might have to actually tell Clarke what he wants, directly and unambiguously. It's still possible she won't want the same thing, but--he kind of needs to know. He needs to be sure.

Or, she could be inviting him over to seduce him. It's not likely, but he lives in hope. Even Miller admitted he was being really, really fucking obvious. It feels like she's got to notice eventually.

It's not a serious thought, not really, but when he knocks on the door, she calls, "It's open!" which is definitely a deviation from the norm.

"Are you actually cooking?" he asks, suspicious. "Is this a special occasion I didn't know about? Is it our anniversary?"

"I hope it's going to be," she says, coming out of her bedroom in, well--

Not a lot of clothing. Like, at all.

"Um," he says, trying not to stare, even though he's pretty sure the whole point of coming out of a bedroom in lingerie is to get stared at. "Hi," he manages. "You look--wow."

"Thanks." She bites her lip, nerves coming through. "I was getting the impression you were into me. You've been dropping some hints."

"Yeah, I--" His self control breaks and he crosses the living room in a few long strides, cups her face in his hands and kisses her. Her fingers come up to fist in the material of his t-shirt, holding him close, and it's relief and happiness all at once, more emotion than he knows what to do with.

"Yeah," she says. "Me too."

He lets his arms slide around her, grinning. "Was it the dick thirst pickup line that did it? Did that actually work?"

She laughs, tucks her face against his neck. “No, definitely not. I decided you wanted to be friends with benefits and Raven had to talk me down from that one. But I thought you just wanted to fuck me.”

He barks a laugh. “Fuck, I didn’t even—I guess that is kind of how I was thinking about it, but just—“ He kisses her hair. “Our relationship is basically perfect, I just want to be able to kiss you whenever I want. But it’s not like—“

“I love you too,” she says, and he’s never heard anything better.

But then she adds, “So, bedroom?”

And that comes close.

*

Nate: Are you ever coming home or do you live in Clarke’s bed now?

Bellamy: Good question I’ll let you know when I figure it out

Nate: I like having the whole apartment to myself Definitely stay there forever And congrats on finally making that whole thing work

Bellamy: Thanks I’ll never see you again

*

“Do you remember when I asked you out?” Clarke asks, sounding curious.

It's an odd question; he's as curious what the answer is supposed to be as she is. “Last night?”

“That was asking you in, not asking you out.”

He frowns. “There was another time? When? What—“

She laughs, resting her face against his back as he makes breakfast. She and Raven didn’t have a lot to work with, so he might have to go shopping soon. If he’s going to be around more. Their fridge needs help.

“I asked you out like two years ago and you turned me down because you had another date.”

“Jesus, really? I definitely missed that. I don’t even remember.”

“Yeah, that’s what Raven figured. She thought you must have just not known.”

“I was trying to pick you up the first time we met,” he says. “So I’m not the only one who missed shit.”

“Oh, no, I knew that.” He turns to frown at her, and she grins. “Lots of guys hit on me at the coffee shop, I just ignored it. But then you were Octavia’s brother, so I figured we could at least hang out. That’s why I tried to ask you on the date. I knew you used to like me. It seemed like you might—“

He catches her mouth for another kiss. “I never stopped liking you,” he tells her. “If I’d known, I would have canceled the other date in half a second. Sorry I didn’t—“

“Don’t worry about it,” she says, smiling. “We got here, right?”

“Finally,” he teases. But he can’t stop smiling. “Took us long enough.”

*

Monty named the conversation "tfw your otp becomes canon"

Raven deleted the group

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings

Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water

Grover Underwood

Just everything he’s ever done

Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room 

“I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”

When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch

Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy

That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!” 

When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps

The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him. 

The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom

Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn

Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me

“You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here

Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke

When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him

The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny

The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children

Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’

The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg

Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles

“the real world is where the monsters are” 

The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.

When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic(tm) after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out

When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her 

Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month. 

Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God

Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her 

IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY

lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows

When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing

The entire bus scene oh my God

“I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS

Annabeth on a fury’s back 

the explosion. just. all gr8. 

When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number. 

“You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr's don’t even get migraines!” 

Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader 

Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave

Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d

Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????

When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS

When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too

Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you. 

When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night 

“Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”

Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window 

When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start. 

“I am Echidna!”

“Isn’t...isn’t that a type of anteater?”

“I HATE AUSTRALIA.” 

How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count 

‘Lemme just, uh....jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’

There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river 

Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg

THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE

Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao

Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then...touched it herself lol

The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself 

Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!! 

Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol

Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!” 

THE FUCKING ZOO BUS

Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t

“What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”

“I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”

Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much

‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’ 

“I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”

“Why can’t you put on of those on us?”

“It only works on wild animals.”

“So it would only effect Percy...”

“HEY!” 

When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx

Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters

When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao

Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol

CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN 

Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t

The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it

“We, uh...all drowned in a bathtub.”

Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit 

Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit. 

Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE 

‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’ 

When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with

“what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y

when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO. 

When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem 

My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up 

ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover...I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM

My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day. 

The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero 

Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC 

Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been 

Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-

Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX

Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does

Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying 

A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did 

Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like...Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you

ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something...is Wrong.” this boy I s2g

Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was 

Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family 

I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight 

whoops