#also my mental health is not well and if you mess with my comfort characters I might bite

[vicvaal]

I need to say this out loud: When the Marauders era fans are talking about these characters, we're not talking about the same characters that Joanne wrote and play a part in the canon books. They have the same names, the same background, and most likely the same world-building laws, but they. are. not. the. same.

Harry's dad, James Potter was a true Gryffindor, in the sense that he was an impulsive and reckless mf that joined the war as soon as was 17 and fought against those who he considered evil without hesitation until the day he died. He was especially wicked towards Snape because he and Sirius had too much of a fragile masculinity to resolve conflicts the civilized way and it took a life-or-death situation for him to realize "Ah this might be a little fucked up, I should stop this" And his and Lily's relationship is written in a way that is so old-fashioned considering that she decided to date him after years of rejection which is a toxic portrayal for what flirting should be. He was also reckless as a father, not only because he put the baby on a flying broom before he learnt how to walk, but because in the first place, he and Lily decided to have a child in the middle of a war and then keep fighting on it knowing their child might be endangered.

Now, James Fleamont Potter, the character I read in fanfiction? Sure he is still faulty; he's still impulsive most of the time, but he's a good judge of character and he regrets it when he does messes up. He put everyone before himself, he only fights back when cornered, and he is a feminist that respects when a girl draws the line and doesn't stop trying to get what he wants because when he loves he does so wholeheartedly, but he takes new approaches, he listens, he comforts, he charms (pun not intended) He an ally, and a good friend that gives out everything he has in order to make others feel safe. He lives by the line "We've all got both light and dark inside us" and isn't afraid to look past different natures or ideologies to find that light in people. He struts, not because he thinks himself better than everyone, but because he always walks like no one's watching. James Fleamont Potter is the sun. We don't say that lightly.

And I could go on and on about every single character going from this to the babygirlfication of Barty Crouch Jr, but I don't think that's necessary to prove my point. We took these characters and made them our own because we are tired of listening to the author dismiss them as flat, unimportant background data and disposable plot devices on the bigger most important story. We stole the idea and threw it into the public domain and wrote amazing stories with it. But those stories don't fit into the same universe as the original books, they're adaptations, some pretty distant adaptations if you will.

Enjoy whatever it's out there, but don't get confused, these stories are not an extension to the ones on paper, but sequels to the ones in our hearts.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU - Doctor Visit

*whispers* pppssssttt @spotaus the next one is here :3

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We do have a warning for this one though, as it will refer child abuse, mental and physical. And wounds and what comes with it.

I am not going to make it graphic but if it bothers you please be careful with reading :)

Otherwise no beta or edits. I write these in one go and just let them live :D

Fun fact, this was originally going to be a Dust pov chapter but I realised that Ngihtmare pov would be more interesting! Also fun fact!! This was suposed to be a lot shorter but then i got typing and i realised some characters were not going to accept certain things without a good explanation and well... here we are.... i regret nothing.

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Nightmare pulls on his shirt as he looks down at it.

Cross hums "Nervous?"

Ngihtmare huffs and shrugs. Yes. but he doesn't want to say so.

Cross gently rubs his spine through the shirt "Yeah I get it. I never liked my health backups either."

Nightmare frowns but feels a bit less stupid about not wanting this health check. It is just stupid! His four... his four already check his old wounds! There is a reason they don't let him bath alone.

Nightmare finally finds the right words and mutters "It is just... not needed... You guys check them."

Cross is silent before Nightmare yelps as he is picked up easily. He shoots Cross a glare but Cross just keeps smiling and hugs him close with a purr "We get it Night. But we are worried too. We need to make sure that everything really is healing as we think it is. None of us are medical professionals." Cross smiles at him "please?"

Nightmare shrugs as he leans into the hold. It is nice. comfortable and warm. He hadn't realised how much he had missed hugs and being held. Last time anyone wanted to hug him this much was when he still lived with Dream and even Dream's hugs had been short or more of just leaning. His four just, hold him for as long as they like. Which can go on for the whole day.

It is nice.

Cross nuzzles his skull "And you won't be alone. Dust will be with you the whole time."

Nightmare nods. He ahd asked the day before why just Dust. Dust had explained they had agreed it would be for the best to just have one of them there to keep an eye on it. Killer hadn't wanted to get attention on him because of his soul and Horror had had much the same reason. His skull may look like a mess but it is very stable. Neither had wanted to take the focus away from Nightmare as he, according to them, needed it most.

And with Cross now again admitting health checks make him nervous. It is no wonder it would be Dust.

Nightmare gives a slow nod "true..." and you can't remove Dust unless he wants to be removed. Nightmare had known that since he first met the other skeleton.

Cross nods and smiles "See? Perfectly okay." he stands up and Nightmare gets lifted wiht him. Nightmare for his part just grabs hold on Cross's shirt to stay steady as they leave their attic.

The week they had been here is honestly amazing. Nightmare gets to relax more and read his book on the couch. At elast one of them is always nearby.

It is still weird that Crop, and his brother Straw, are so... nice. Nightmare isn't used to others being nice to him.

It is weird.

He can accept it from his four. But that is different, they are different. They are special and actually care, that is why they are nice and came back to him... for him.

Nightmare leans against Cross as they get downstairs. Dust and Horror are discussing things as Killer sits by the window staring outside.

Cross grins at the others "All clean and ready ti mingle!" Cross easily walks over to Dust and Nightmare feels himself be handed over to the other skeleton.

Nightmare can feel the difference between their holds and feels the other magic near. It is nice and familiar nad Nightmare just leans agaisnt Dust.

Dust leans close and nuzzles him "You okay? We can still call it off." Cross shoots Dust a disapproving look but Dust ignores him.

Nightmare is appreciates it but shakes his skull "It is fine. It is needed..." He huffs and crosses his arms as he looks to the side "It is just stupid." he doesnt want to do this.

Dust nods "Needed things often are stupid. It is honestly a terrible system." and another nuzzle and Ngihtmare feels a bit better.

Crop, who had been watching from the kitchen, walks over "so... who is gonna go the talking? Do you all want to be there?" and he waits.

Killer doens't look away from the window but answers "Dusty will stay with Nightmare throuhg it all. We will stay in the living room."

Crop nods "Right right." he looks a bit more nervous "You got a story straight?"

Ngihtmare huffs and mutters against Dust's shoulder "There is nothing straight about that story."

Dust freezes before snorting and trying to smother his laughing. Horror, who had been close enough to hear too, grins widely.

Cross and Killer btoh turn to them confused, same for Crop.

Dust snorts and shrugs but Horror answers "We spoke about it before hand." and Horror shoots Dust a look.

Dust looks actively pained "Yes we spoke about it."

Cross smiles at Crop's worried look "it is fine! Dust is great at this stuff. He won't share everything of what happened but will tell the healer enough to really sell it and get rumours flowing."

Ngihtmare nods and feels... happy? Pride? he isn't sure but he always knew his four were special and amazing and this just proves it again.

Crop blinks and nods "okay. As long as that is the case... She should be here any moment. She is the head doctor and head healer in our town and anything in her clinic goes through her. She is really nice and just wants to help though so no worries okay?" and he grins.

Nightmare is once again reminded of what is coming and feels hismelf grow more tense as he turns slightly to be clsoer to Dust. Dust just holds him closer and nuzzles him. Dust doesn't say anyhting but it still helps. it feels nice... it is safe.

Crop looks troubled but before he can say anything Killer turns sharply to the window again "Car just stopped. a deer monster got out." and he glances at Crop.

Crop smiles and rushes to the door "That is her. euh. just act-" he turns but before he can say anything Dust and Ngihtmare are already on the couch, Nightmare is still in his lap and has a book in his hands. Nightmare cna spot Killer by the table wiht some playing cards, already having a few made to form a house of cards. Cross is by the tv playing around with the channels as Horror sets water up for tea.

Crop blinks as he softly mutters the rest of his sentence "-act natural..." moments later a knock on the door.

Ngihtmare pushes closer to Dust and Dust takes the book from his shaking hands and starts reading it out loud.

Crop opens the door and Nightmare can't even focus on the calm voice of Dust or the fact the others are around. as Killer had said, the doctor is a deer monster of some kind. she has rather impressive antlers for her kind as she greets Crop with a familiarity.

Crop turns to the room and grins "Guys. This is Fauna. She is the head doctor in town and she is nice and very profesional!" and he waits.

Nightmare watches as Killer huffs as he looks her up and down "... I see." he walks over to Dust and Nightmare and Nightmare suddenly gets another skull nuzzling him.

Dust chuckles as he calmly puts the book away "Careful Kills, he just had a bath and your goop tends to stick."

Killer pouts at him "kill joy."

Nightmare blinks between them as he lounges against Dust. He glances back and sees a soft smile on Fauna's face. Ah. Right. make sure to show what you want them to see.

Dust looks up at Fauna and nods "I will be staying with him through his checkup." it is an announcement.

Fauna smiles and crosses her arms "oh really? I am sure we will discuss that." she looks at Crop "Where can we have this conversation and checkup?"

Crop smiles "The kitchen! come this way." and Crop leads Fauna there.

Dust rises to his feet and Nightmare cna see both Cross and Killer shoot him nervous glances.

Dust just huffs "I got this." and walks towards the kitchen. Just in time to see Horror pour some mugs of tea and setting two aside.

Horror looks at Dust "Chamomile and lemon." He smiles at Nightmare and points to the other "Lavender and peach." he nods to Crop and Fauna and silently leaves the kitchen.

Dust takes a seat before taking a sip of his own tea. Nightmare grabs his own mug and sips it. It is nice, easily with the intent Horror put into it when he made it. It helps him relax.

Crop grabs a mug for Fauna and Fauna quickly makes her own tea. Then she gives Crop a very pointed look "I know this is your house but just because you are now technically their landlord does not mean you are allowed to have this information. out you go."

Crop doesn't fight it at all "Of course. you know your way around." he grins at Dust and Nightmare "Take it easy okay?" and he leaves.

A long silence in the room.

Fauna takes asip from her own tea and looks at Dust critically "Now. Before we start I have to ask you two a few questions. Foremost and before anything else. I am here for the wellbeing of that child." she smiles at him "That is my goal." she gives Dust a colder look "Understood?"

Dust raises a brow "That is fine." then slower "However. Before we answers any questions I have one very important one for you. What are your privacy policies?" Dust nudges Ngihtmare and Nightmare is quick to take another sip, it helps to calm his shaking a bit.

Dust stares Fauna down easily "Just like you want to make sure he is okay. we just want him safe. If you are a risk to that safety we will not answer anything."

Fauna glares but nods "Insulting to be questioned like that but understanding. When I took this profesion I took a few oaths. One, to always help those in need no matter who they are. Two, to always put the health of my patient first. Three, to never disclose private matters of a patient to other people." she turns her spoon in her mug "I take these oaths very seriously. You can't help people if you are not trustworthy."

Dust rolls his eyes "Of course you took oaths. I mean who will get access to this information? You knowing it is one thing. You making physical notes that someone else can read is another. We don't want... certain people to have access to information about him." and Nightmare feels Dust hug him closer.

Obviously not a lie. They have always been careful with another about his situation geting known to other people. But that is multiverse level. And unless they would visit this universe and ask the right people the chance of the stars finding this file are very low. But... for their backstory? It is crusial. Dust having been on the run with a babybones that had been stolen and he just stole back? That means this type of information is very dangerous to just lay around.

Fauna frowns and seems to make the conclusion that Dust wants her to make. Her voice gets a bit softer as she answers slowly "Patient files are under lock and key... however. I have a special case which only I can access where I keep the more sensitive information that only i know. If i have information that I deem to sensitive for others to hear I make sure to lock it away tightly." hse has a stubborn look "And no one knows where that is."

Ngihtmare considers it for only a moment and assumes it is in her inventory. Slightly high risk as if she were to dust that information would disappear forever and be lost forever. However, no one can force someone to take something out of their inventory.

Dust frowns and gives a slow nod "Ask your questions." then he looks at Nightmare and nuzzles his skull again "If you don't want to answer her you can say so okay?" Nightmare nods and waits.

Fauna stares at them for a moment longer ebfore smilign at Nightmare "Hello... before anythign else... Do you have a name you would be okay with me calling you and knowing you as?"

Ngihtamre thinks it over before answering "My name is Nightmare, miss."

Fauna smiles and writes it on a file she has pulled out of nowhere, see? Inventory.

Fauna nods and looks back at him "How would you like to refer to you? A boy? a girl? neither? both?"

Ngihtamre shrugs as he leans against Dust. "I prefer he... but anything is fine honestly..." an afterthought and he shoots Dust an uncertain look. Dust just gives him a nod. Nightmare looks at the table "Just... no 'it' please." there. He doesn't like that. He knows some monsters are fine with that but he isn't.

Fauna nods "Of course." she smiles "Nightmare. That is not a name i hear often. Did you pick it yourself or was it given to you?"

Ngihtmare holds tighter unto Dust and mutters "Given."

Fauna nods again before smiling "by who?"

Nightmare freezes and turns to Dust for a moment. dust just nuzzles him "Your choice."

meaning he will figure out their story and edit it if he needs to. Ngihtmare feels bad about the idea of not telling his name for given by Nim... she had been his mother! yet... yet...

yet...

Nightmare shrugs as he leans against Dust "What everyone always said i was..." not a lie.

DUst frowns and holds him closer. Fauna frowns as well "Are you sure then you want to be called tht then?"

Ngihtmae nods and spekas with more confidence "fits fine wtih everyone." and more importantly "it is my name." his. Even if everyone always made it out to be something bad. It was his!

Fauna blinks before smiling "Yeah. your name is the first thing that is truely yours. and so that means it is your choice what you do with it." she notes down the name and looks at them "no family name?"

Ngihtmare shakes his skull and looks at Dust and waits.

Dust shrugs "never needed one."

Fauna chuckles nad nods "I can imagine that your names aren't in the list of most popular babynames. This will work just fine for now." she looks back at him "now nightmare. a very important question. Are you really okay wiht Dust being here for your examination?"

Nightmare is alreayd nodding and holds unto Dust tighter. Dust hugs him "I am not leaving unless he tells me to leave."

Fauna nods, not at all btohered by the glare Dust sends her way "of course. Is it okay for Dust to then be noted down as someone who is allowed to know your medical records and information?"

Nightmare nods nad pauses for a moment "So are the others."

Fauna raises her pen and waits.

Nightmare rolls his eye lights "Killer, Horror and Cross. They cna all know as well. They know things." everything he is willing to share that is.

Dust raises a brow "are you done yet with your interrogation? I thought this was suposed to be about how he is doing."

Fauna hums and looks unbothered as she updates the file "I want to be sure that I know who i can share what with." she looks at Dsut "privacy policies."

Dust looks beyond annoyed and huffs before his face goes back to being calm and bored looking.

Fauna nods and looks at Nightmare "Now. We will start easy. an examination can be a lot and with what Crop told me he knew it makes me worried about your health. we will go as far as you feel comfortable with. I will start with asking soem questions, ease you in. okay?" and she waits with a gentle smile.

Ngihtamre thinks it over before nodding.

Fauna nods again as she grabs a list "Does anything hurt?"

Nightmare rolls his eye lights and nods. Duh. He is healing.

She immediantly frowns and pulls out a shard with frowning faces "now... which face would show you how you feel about this pain?"

Ngihtmare knows he is pulling a face as Dust chuckles. Nightmare looks unimpressed at Fauna "It hurts a lot. I would say a ten when it happened. about an eight on days it hurts more and about a six otherwise."

She stares in shock and Dsut shrugs "the.... people.. he was stuck with... did not treat him as a child... we are still working on that." and he looks at Nightmare but Dust can see the pride and amusement.

Fauna frowns but makes careful notes "okay... can you explain to me what hurts? in your words."

Ngihtamre waits a moment before speaking "ribs... always... spine aches easily. legs normally don't hurt unless i walk a lot... skull doesn't hurt unless i use do magic. arms also always hurt but not as bad..." he tries to think what else but then shrugs.

Fauna however looks horrified and moves closer but she immediantly stops. Nightmare only realises later that the second she moved he flinched back and fully against Dust.

Fauna nods "okay.... That is very serious. You say using your magic also harms you?"

Ngihtmare nods slowly "not like... eating and stuff... or lighting up my eyes... but bigger things... spell stuff." it sucks but luckily the balance doens't need him anymore. He hadn't flet any new calling and figures he has time.

Fauna nods and frowns at Dust and Nightmare both "crop mentioned that there had been magic at play. somekind of shielding?"

Nightmare looks helplessly at Dust. he had no idea how to explain that!

Dust nods to nightmare before looking at Fauna "if you don't mind i will answer that." Fauna nods and Dust continues "We aren't quite sure of the details. we never saw the magic or studied the spell up close. We think he got into contact with something very powerful, probably with old magic. maybe an artifect. We never actually saw what it was. But it formed a sort of shield or bubble. It enclosed him, his soul and magic. but eventually it warn off and Nightmare appeared again. I saw him reappear and after some confusion on our end we got to work to get Nightmare back with us for safety..."

Fauna nods "You have seen this bubble or shielding?"

Dust nods "I have, it left Nightmare completely unrecognizeable from who he truly was. You wouldn't even be able to guess he was in there..."

Fauna frowns heavily as she makes notes "That may have impacted his magical growth and development, which may also be part of the reason shy using complex magic hurts him."

Nightmare stares at Dsut in shock. How had he just... made that up?! On the spot? It wasn't even a lie!

Dust sees him look and winks back wiht a grin before pulling his face back to the blank worried one of before.

Fauna nods as she sits up striaghter "okay. that is most of the verbal examination. I am very sorry but I really need to look at the physical wounds and your magic. I understand you have had very bad experiences with others who were suposed to keep your safe. Will you please allow me to see if i can help?"

Nightmare frowns as he thinks before answering "only wiht Dusty here." Dust will keep him safe. he can't keep himself safe but that is okay because Dust will.

Fauna nods "of course. Where would you like to start?"

Ngihtmare thinks before answering "magic and skull." that is easy to do together and as soon as he stops using his magic his skull will be healed again.

Dust pushes the chair they are sitting on a bit backwards and moves them around. Nightmare sits wiht his spine and back against Dust's front and he feels the slow and even soulbeat of him against his spine.

It helps calm his own racing soul.

Fauna sits in front of them. a reasonable amount of space between them.

Nightmare takes a deep breatha dn leans against Dust as he calls up his magic. It is still tought but a bit easier. It answers his call but it doesn't take any shape. It doesn't have a purpose. Nightmare tries to use it to feel the healer's general emotions and his head starts to ache.

He tells them as much and starts to feel what the lady is feeling. Worry, just so much worry and grief. Grief for him.

Ngihtmare doesn't get it. People don't like Nightmare. Ngihtmare is a bad omen and makes bad things happen. Why would she be worried for him? She doesn't even know him.

A loud gasp and even more worry and horrified feelings and Nightmare knows the cracks are visible.

Nightmare doesn't look at her but instead at the table. the light of his scars is bright enoguh to light up the room in a strange combination or purple and cyan.

Dust speaks softly "His own magic is purple... the cyan was from whatever the shielding bubble thing had been." a soft hand rubbing his shoulders. helping him relax.

Fauna swallows before speaking softly "Can I come closer and examine it?"

Nightmare answers himself "may as well... I managed to do it now anyway." it aches so badly "just... quickly please."

Dust mumbles "and carefully. This is very painful."

Fauna moves carefully and even a feather light touch causes agony as he shakes and a whimper escapes him.

Dust pulls him further back "Ngihtamre i think that is enough. can you dispell your magic again?"

His skull is swimming in pain and emotions not his own. He can't feel adn understand them on the same level anymore... can't sperate them from himself as easily anymore.

The light disappears and Nightmare just lays shaking in Dust's hold. Dust frowns at him and mutters "It got worse again..."

Ngihtamre looks away but nods. Dust just rubs his back and looks at Fauna "So yeah... pretty much all his magic still has that... cyan colour to it but as you saw it isn't helping him."

Fauna is writing quickly in her notes "It is almost an invasive magic on him. However it doesn't seem like he makes this cyan magic himself. I think it are still left overs but we would have to try and messure the two different forms of magic which is hard to do in the same person. those wounds..." and she looks at them.

Dust sighs "THe newest... wounds he got on... on his way out... on his way away from those he was with before... We always thought that whatever the magic was it saved him." again, no lies, just selective with the information and how he tells it.

Fauna taps the notes and nods "Well worrying. I think you are right on the magic having saved him. Especially as when he isn't using magic it isn't harming him. What i think that is happening is that the magic is keeping the head wounds close and whole. I think him trying to use his magic makes the cyan magic react as well, but as he can't make that it is pulled from whatever source he has. which in this cause is the very thing helping him." she nods and writes on another paper "For now. don't use any complex spells. only use very light and natural magic. things that don't bother or tire him. This way you can keep his own magic active and practise to help it grow stronger without disrupting the magic in his skull. If he at any moments starts to regularly have headaches we will need to look into somekind of magic transfer."

Dust frowns "why not do a transfer now?"

Fauna sighs "Magical transfers can be dangerous. if your soul doesn't accept the transfer you are suddenly without any magic in you. For children, especially those with very little magic themselves, it has an added risk of completely overwriting their own magic. meaning that their soul will only accept the new type of magic, but as the soul can't make this they will still have the same fate." she gives Dust a cold stare "this is not something done lightly."

Dust nods and mutters "We will keep an eye out for headaches." he give shim a look "any. headache."

Nightmare pouts and huffs at him "Okay. I will tell you."

Dust nods "good."he nudges their skulls together softly. "What next?"

nightmare frowns and sighs "ribs... it is the worst.. if that is okay the rest should be too." even if he hates losing his shirt and showing anyone the wounds and barely healed bones.

Dust nods and looks at fauna "Nightmare is going to have to sit with his back to you. You will need to announce any movement you make and keep making somekind of sound or noise."

Fauna accepts it easily and waits. Nightmare turns to sit towards Dust nad lets Dust help get him out of his loose shirt. Cross had specificlaly picked this one for today to make this easier. It is also why they skipped the bandages for today.

A loud gasp and Nightmare quickly hides his face in the bright red scarf.

Dust rubs the back or his skull "Yeah. we know. We try to get him to take a bath each day to clean the wounds out. He can bath himself but the wounds demand extra attention and care that he as a six year old just doesn't have the dexterity for." hearing Dust talk helps him calm down. he isn't alone. he isn't alone. he isn't alone.

Fauna swallows and speaks in a soft voice "I am going to sit a bit closer and take a closer look at some of your wounds near your spine." slow movements and Ngihtmare feels hismelf grow more tense. Fauna continues to talk "you are being very brave. thank you for trusting me, or at least trusting Dust enough to allow me to try and help you." she sits closer and Ngihtmare cna hear her breathing now. Fauna hums softly "Even if they look bad and still very hurt, which i know they do, they are very clean and seem to be healing well. YOu are all taking very good care of these breaks and missing chips."

Fauna shifts a tiny bit and Nightmare tightens his hold on Dust's hoody. Nightmare relaly likes the material that Dust wears. it is soft and makes it easy for him to sink his tiny claws into. Not let go.

Fauna speaks again "Mayb i touch the bones on your spine? I need to check how sensitive and hurt the still healthy bones are."

Nightmare takes a moment and nods before grabbing Dusts arm. DUst luckily understnads him "He will grip me if it hurts and i will tell you. is that okay?"

Fauna speaks with relieve "That is fine. Thank you for letting me examine this. I am going to touch your spine in 3. 2. 1. now." the touch on his spine still surprises him but aside from the tiny flinch nothing happens. Fauna hums and speaks "I am goign to touch a tiny bit lower." the touch moves but no pain. "very good. a bit lower again." the touch moves lower but his whole spine lights up in pain and Nightmare whimpers as he clams down on Dust's hand.

"It hurts him very badly." the hand on his spine is already gone before Dust finishes his sentence.

Fauna speaks with full praise "Thank you Nightmare. you did amazing. You are very brave."

Nightmare can't help it as he pushes closer to Dust "dusty... it is weird."

silence and Dust hums "what is?"

Nightmare pushes clsoer to Dust "her being nice." people aren't nice to him. they hate him at first sight. why is she different. why...

"Why weren't they nice?" he hates how he sounds but he just wants to know.

Dust holds him clsoer, Dust's hands and arms always know were to hold wihtout hurting him. same for the others. they are safe.

Dust mutters "I don't know. I think they were just dumb." a bit louder "I think we shuld stop."

Fauna is quick to agree "absolutely. I am sorry for not realising we had already hit his limit."

Dust helps him put on his shirt again "Nightmare is an amazing person. but he has the habit of not saying what bothers him." dust holds him close in a hug and dust looks at fauna "the spine is the worst by far. What do you think?"

Fauna writes some things down before speaking "I think you four have been doing a good job with trying to help him heal the pain he was caused. The spine is going to be a slow healing process, even slower because of his magic situation. All you cna do is keep cleanign it daily and making sure it is wrapped up." she finishes writing something.

Dust takes the note and speaks "understood. keep cleaning the wounds daily, wrap them up and check to make sure the wounds don't get bigger. Aside from that he isn't suposed to use his magic aside from easy and stressless things. if he at any moment starts to have headaches we are to call immediantly"

Fauna answers him "indeed. If you have any questions or worries feel free to call. I put the number for my clinic on there as well. Just ask for me and saywho you are and they will call me. I am going to amke sure that everyone knows you are on the emergancy list." slow steps towards the door and exit of the kitchen when she stops "He is a very sweet babybones. I am sorry to hear he got this hurt."

Dust chuckles and just holds him clsoer "we know... we agree..."

a moment of silence before Fauna speaks again "I am going to talk with Crop that you will have to use his bathroom a lot, doctors orders. What else you tlel him is up to you. Have a good day." and she is gone.

They sit in silence nad Dust just helps Nightmare finish his now much colder tea. The taste is still good even when cold...

DUst nuzzles his skull "You oaky?"

Ngihtmare just pushes closer "tired."

Dust chuckles "Yeah... me too... how about this? I am going to help you wrap up your ribs. after that we will lay in the living room together and nap while Killer and Cross get competitive over a card game?"

Nightamre nods and relaxes "yeah" that sounds great. Dust picks him up and takes him to their attic to help him get ready for the rest of the day.

Dust will tell the others how it went and what to watch out for. Nightmare just has to relax and trust him.

And that is okay. Nightmare has gotten a lot better at trusting others.

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[nerdieforpedro]

Those Damn Hot Dogs

Chapter One of Therapy for the Well-Adjusted

My entire masterlist and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI. I do not consent to my work being used in AI, recommended on TikTok, borrowed or plagiarized.

Word Count: 1859

Warnings: Nerdie doesn’t know how the FBI works (despite watching all the crimes procedurals), one gun shot, insulting hot dogs 🌭, random book reference, a wee bit of blood, yelling & cursing

Summary: Marcus Pike was mandated to go to therapy. His journey there was very bumpy. We meet Dr. Mint and Vernon! (both OFCs)

Notes: I started this because I wanted Marcus to be a bit unhinged. Like why not? 😀

But also because I’ve had some bad experiences with therapy and some very positive ones.

Plus I enjoyed the doctor’s names way too much. I’m on my mess with puns. 😉

If you feel you need therapy or counseling, you should research the best cost effective options for you and make sure that your therapist is someone you feel comfortable with. Vibes are important in this case.

Main Masterlist/ Marcus Pike Masterlist/ AO3 Link

Marcus is talking with his therapist, Dr. Mint. He never thought he would need to see one. Not that people don’t need to see them or take their mental health seriously, they should and he does. He has to. He’s an FBI agent. Although he is in art crimes, there’s still quite a bit of shady characters, deals and crazy crap that people will do to have their art or hide how they got it.

The journey to Dr. Mint took Marcus two months from the incident to now.

The incident in question was something he never expected. Marcus Pike prided himself on being able to roll with life's punches, no matter how gut-wrenching they might be. Prior to ‘the incident’ his team were investigating possible pieces of art that were thought to have been smuggled into the country. Supposedly from California over to the East Coast. That should have been his first clue, the mention of that state. He was briefed about two consultants coming to assist since they had dealings and information of the particular ring of smugglers.

Patrick Jane and his wife Teresa Jane.

The amount of time Marcus had put into this case had been the last few months. Tracking leads, making connections, reviewing financials, flights, etc. He implored his superiors that they didn’t need their help. They’re making headway toward busting these guys without these two, especially one of them’s penchant for causing property damage and being a PR nightmare. The higher ups said that his team had enough time to find these guys and they haven’t so this case needs to be closed now. Pike didn’t understand the urgency, these were typical smugglers, not traffickers or people or drugs, but he had to back down. He would take many deep breaths and interact with them as little as possible.

Of course Patrick Jane asked to be on my team. The vest wearing, tired brown shoes having hot dog water looking bastard.

Agent Pike knew he’d have to grin and bear it. He’s a professional and a special agent. Unlike this prick, he can’t just do as he pleases. There are rules, regulations and he would like to stay gainfully employed at a job he loves. Patrick Jane nor his hot dog water loving wife Teresa will make him lose it.

The first two weeks went fine. Limited interaction, and all about the case. The third week was when they finally caught the smugglers at their warehouse. A mix of Marcus pulling up prior maps of an area outside of DC on the outskirts of the state of Virginia and Patrick seeing a pattern in pieces they were taking. The bust was running smoothly, all of them were caught except one. Marcus was chasing him and the idiot ‘not an actual agent’ Patrick decided he was somehow going to help chase the perp as well in those slippery ugly brown shoes.

It was his own fault.

Not Pike’s. He called in that he saw the suspect, let them know he was in pursuit and was chasing them. It was Jane that called himself trying to be some action hero popping out from a nearby alley to chase the same perp. Pike yelled at him to move, Patrick chose not to listen. His ass paid the price. Literally.

Some might have thought Marcus did it on purpose, especially if they knew the extremely sorted history between Patrick, Teresa and Marcus, but he truly did not. The suspect had pulled a gun and was trying to shoot Marcus, he dodged and shot the perp in the calf, disabling him enough for Pike to run over and clap cuffs on him. He then called for an ambulance.

Pike heard Patrick cursing as he was laying on the ground. Marcus thought maybe he just fell, but there was blood, not from the suspect. Jane was bleeding from his ass, the bullet had grazed him before hitting the suspect. Before Marcus could hold it in, and remain professional he laughed. Not a chuckle or snicker but a full, down on both knees next to the perp laugh. Which made the smuggler laugh as well. Teresa and the other agents made their way over and wondered what an agent and criminal could find so funny. Mrs. Hot Dog became hysterical that Patrick was bleeding so of course he leaned into it, shaking where he hadn’t been before.

Marcus and the suspect watched and looked at each other, “That’s some bullshit my guy.” Pike agreed. Standing up holding the suspect in front of him, he took him over to be booked and processed.

Patrick was taking his sweet time getting off the ground and Teresa was beginning to yell at Marcus, telling him that she’d have his badge for harming her Patrick.

Marcus Pike had enough. He requested to not have them in this case, asked to be reassigned, and has kept interactions to a minimum. He didn’t ask Patrick to chase a suspect. He’s a consultant. He’s not supposed to be doing it anyway!

Uncharacteristically, Marcus yelled and told Teresa to “keep her hot dog water looking man out of the way of FBI business. Had he not been here, the suspect wouldn’t have shot him. Jane needs to stay in his lane and keep all his hot dog foolishness over there.” Teresa was going to say something else, “You don’t say shit to me. You left me then, how am I supposed to know you’re going to do your damn job in the field if you didn’t even have the backbone to tell me no face to face or over the phone. You didn’t ask what actually happened! Put a bun on him to soak up his blood and hot dog water.”

Everyone was silent, even Jane.

No one expected Marcus to say anything, let alone admonishing Patrick and Teresa’s behavior. Everyone knew it was a lot but Pike had been a consummate professional during their entire time here.

Teresa was mortified and started to cry. Jane finally got up and limped over to the supervising agent who just told him to go over to the ambulance to get checked out.

No one directly addressed it, not until the Jane’s were gone and they threw a party. Marcus was invited but he declined. He’d been put out on administrative leave and was at home tuning his bass guitar. Wondering about what they said. They suggested he take some time off, cool his head and could come back after some counseling session.

Marcus had tried to go to the FBI one but it ended on a weird note. The initial meeting went well, but the small older woman asked for a hug. She said that Marcus resembled her former husband. He politely declined and told his supervisors that it wasn’t going to work with the FBI’s counselor.

Pike now had two weeks to find one he could see and clear him. His colleague Mark, suggested one that had helped him and his wife during a rough period in their marriage:

Dr. Mint of “Mint and Julep Counseling: Helping therapy go down smooth.”

The name and the tagline made Marcus chuckle and highly suspicious so he researched them, Mark vouched for the group of counselors and doctors. It’s worth a try. It had to be better than the last one.

Marcus wore his red flannel shirt, open exposing his white t-shirt underneath. Rubbing his hands on his dark wash jeans, getting the sweat off them, he opened the glass door leading into the reception area. The colors were neutral: white, tan, gold and gray. There was a friendly older gentleman at the desk who wore and striking green sweater and had bi-focals, peering at Marcus upward, maybe trying to look through the upper half of the glasses.

“Good afternoon sir, here for an appointment?”

“Yes I am. New patient for Dr. Mint. Marcus Pike. Nice to meet you sir.”

“Oh! You’re early, that’s nice. Wait there. Did you want some water? I’ll let them know you’re here. Should be finishing up with the previous patient shortly.” The gentleman informed him and Marcus took a seat on one of the black leather chairs.

He waited about ten minutes, he’d been fifteen minutes early. It was easier to find than he thought and it was in a stand alone building rather than in a strip mall. It was near a Panera and a Dunkin’s so Marcus had some landmarks for it.

Dr. Mint has sepia bangs which seems to be their natural hair color. The rest of their hair is cut close and is dyed a deep plum color. Normally Marcus might have taken a pause given that they’re also wearing a cream sweater that looks one size too big for them with black slacks and loafers, but they shake his hand and have a strong grip. Pike respects this and follows the good doctor to his office. The agent figures it can’t be worse than the last therapist. Dr. Mint is a few inches taller than Marcus but thin, willowy he might say. Something about him invokes trust, could be their sharp jaw and or that once they sit and Marcus begins talking about what happened with the two hot dogs, he sees something in their dark brown eyes that he didn’t with the other therapists. Dr. Mint didn’t think he’d lost his mind.

Pike’s luck has finally changed.

The doctor thanked Marcus for coming to see them and hoped that he would make a future appointment. They also stated that given the pressure he was under and the specific circumstances, they weren’t sure there was a right way to approach the situation.

“I mean, it is kinda funny. If you think about it, Dr. Mint.” Marcus departs their office and makes an appointment for later in the week with Vernon, the front desk gentleman. On his way out, he held the door for a woman in a cobalt dress, she thanked him and smiled. Pike felt his eyes linger on her for a few moments as she went to the desk and checked in with Vernon too. She sat down, crossing her legs at her ankles after setting her black tote back in a chair next to her. She was on her phone for a few and then pulled her bag into her lap, making herself smaller despite the waiting room being empty save for the man behind the desk.

Marcus wondered what brought her to this place, it could be anything. Her blue dress stuck out in his mind and he remembered there was a book about a woman in a blue dress, what was it called? He stopped to grab a salad and soup from Panera before heading home.

“Wait…” Marcus pulled into his parking space outside of his apartment building. “Devil in the blue dress, I think it’s by Walter Mosley. Wasn’t that a movie too? Maybe I should watch it tonight.” As tonight’s feature was decided, he set about trying to find which streaming service it would be on.

Marcus felt he made a good choice today.

Hot dog haters 🌭: @megamindsecretlair @jessthebaker @avastrasposts @jeewrites @josephquinnswhore

@bishtrouille @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring @morallyinept @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@soft-persephone @soft-girl-musings @rosecentaur1916 @rulexofxnines @inept-the-magnificent

Chapter Two

[slashertrash]

Would you mind writing Brahams and/or Bubba with a s/o who’s autistic and stims a lot and has a lot of echolalia stims but is embarrassed about them when they realize theyre stimming in front of them? Thank you and have a wonderful day!! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Of course I don’t mind, hun! 💖 I tried researching a bit about echolalia, hope I do you proud! Please let me know if I mess anything up though!

Bubba and Brahms with an s/o who has an echolalia stim

Bubba

I hc that Bubba's autistic and nonverbal!

He shows a lot of traits of having trouble with social cues, and trouble with his impulse control. Also suffers meltdowns when in high stress situation, most likely from his brother's yelling or from victims getting away.

He stims by touching textures (mainly his mask!) and probably has an oral stim too! And I bet he loves to feel around the textures of his crafts, like his bracelet or whatever bone decoration is around the house.

He was a bit cut off guard when you do a vocal stim near him for the first time. Why did you repeat what his brother just said? Where you making fun of him?

You'd have to explain to him about your vocal stim to help him understand that you're not making fun of him or his brothers. Once you do he's completely understanding!

He assures you that you shouldn't be embarrassed of your stims. While spending time together, whether it be interacting or doing your own things in silence, you both feel comfortable enough to stim around each other. He's absolutely smitten with everything that you do <3

Brahms

As for Brahms, I hc him having BPD. It shows when Greta becomes his favorite person, his sudden mood swings towards her, his impulsiveness to threaten anyone who tries to sweep her away from him, and how quick it is to anger him. Lots of anger issues as well

Brahms had watched you for a while inside the mansion's walls, so he has seen and heard you stim beforehand.

He's probably read up on many autistic traits and information in the books around the mansion. So he probably knows some things about echolalia and/or stims.

He'd be interested on what your thoughts are on the different phrases or words that you repeat. What made you like them, or what brought them up.

Once he comes out of the walls and you're talking to the real him face to face, you may notice him still watching you from time to time. *cough* all the time, he can't help it

He finds all your stims to be fascinating, he loves hearing your voice and is just so thrilled to finally be with you. Brahms absolutely is head over heels. You're his new favorite person!

Really clingy and possessive, but he'd tone it down if you tell him to. Just be honest! Communication is key. <3

Finally getting the hang of writing again! So sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, English ain't my main language!

As a side note, I would like to say that in no way am I trying to demonize or correlate these mental health conditions to literal slashers. I've got some undiagnosed au/dhd + possible bpd and you don't see me (or anybody else) slashing and dashing out there! These are just my thoughts, and how I'd like to explain the traits or deeper feelings behind these characters! Idk if I worded this correctly but y'all get my point!

[dailyunstableeve]

I'm here

Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader

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TW: Angst, mention of mental illnesses, self-harms, self sabotaging, feeling hopeless, Eating disorder, some ptsd mention, blood, sharp object, some swearings, a few use of Y/N because I love how Hobie addressed name to mean he cares about you, huge amount of self destruct

A/n: I tried to write this based on my experience of my mental health, I always fight it through the episodes myself so I thought why not stay delulu and write one that would make me feel I'm strong when I needed comfort, with fictional characters. This is for comfort purposes ❤️

Words: 1.2k

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It's another messy night for you, you trapped yourself in your dark messy room. Clothes are all over the floor, your books shatter around your bookshelves, your make-up table is filled with many different sizes of bottles, you can't tell which one is make-up and which one is your meds. You're all curled up in your bed, tears rolling down your face with a blade that you've hid very well that no one found it, in your hand. No one has ever found the blade, you hid it in a place that no one would look at, the small space in your bed frame, not even Hobie.

Today is a fucked up day, you were bullied in school, you have many friends but none really stood up for you because they are also friends with the bullies. The bullies were your friends too, they used to be so kind and caring until a bitch joined and made everyone turn against you because you're an easy target.

You've returned home, finding out your parents are out for holidays, they can't bring you along because you have school.

You tried to dial Hobie first but he isn't picking up, and here you are, on your bed, crying with the blade in your hand. The more you cry, the more disappointed you are to yourself so you slided the blade on your arm, the more you're mad at yourself the more you cut. Your bed sheet is also a mess now, a whole puddle of blood stained on the bed. If anyone walked in and you weren't holding the blade, they might just think your period stained it.

Your arm starts to have the chills of burning, it hurts but it feels good at the same time, as if the pain in your heart is transferred to your arms, it eases the pain.

An hour passes, you stop crying but you start to feel light-headed, your vision is turning more blurry as it should be. You forgot that you haven't eaten a meal at all for the past 15 hours ever since you woke up, all you did was drink water, hoping that just by drinking it will stop the growling but it only makes you more hungry but you don't care. Together with your blood continuing to drip out from your wound arm, you might just die of blood loss.

"Oi, what the fuck you're doing?" Hearing the tone of speaking, you know it's Hobie but you already lost the strength to do anything at the moment.

"Answer me!" The first thing Hobie did was to take the blade away from you, he cupped his hand on your face, trying to take a better look at you, you look so drained.

Hobie tried to carry you but then his hand ran through your wet bed sheet that's stained with blood.

"You can't be serious," he grabbed your arm, you tried to pull back but what strength do you still have? "Why did you do this?" He called your name, demanding an answer from you while he tried to press on the wound to stop the bleeding.

"Goddammit Y/N," Hobie's voice cracked a little. He's close to just bursting into tears because it breaks his heart to see you like this.

A lifeless purpose body.

It's also the first time you've seen Hobie like this. You didn't mean to hurt him, didn't mean for him to see you like this. You thought Hobie won't appear because he didn't answer your calls so you sabotage yourself.

"I'm sorry," you were finally able to have the words fall out your mouth, the moment you did, you started to cry, tears rolling down your cheeks again.

Let's say it's the love you have for Hobie, that you don't want to see him getting worried and sad about you so you decided to speak again, and try to make him not to worry about it even though you know he will end up worrying.

"Shh, it's alright luv, I'm here now," Hobie quickly hugged you, caressingly your hair to calm you down.

Now that there's someone you truly love is here with you, you feel safe, that you just let out all of your tears. You gripped on his jacket so hard as your tears wetted his shirt and Hobie didn't even complain about it.

"I got you luv, you're safe now," Hobie whispered.

After you've stopped crying, Hobie carried you to the bathroom and washed up your cuts and gave you his freshly washed clothes. At first he was just planning to have a normal sleepover because he knows your parents won't be home for a few days, maybe two weeks, so he wanted to make sure you're alright and he also promised your parents to look after you. Forgot to mention Hobie is the favorite child in this household after you.

"Feeling better?" Hobie passed you a glass of cold water, since you love any drink that's cold.

You took the drink from Hobie and slowly nodded while you looked at your bandaged arms, how long would it take for it to color red again?

"Y/N" Hobie squaded down in front of you, turning your attention to him fully instead of your arm, "I love you, you got it?"

You nodded, you never questioned Hobie's love for you.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Hobie held your hand, kissing on it.

"It's them, they turned everyone on me, no one talks to me at all, everywhere I got was nothing but judgy eyes," you cried.

You would scream at yourself to stop being a crybaby but the person you love and feel safe around is in front of you, you wouldn't want to hold in your true feelings.

"Want me to pick you tomorrow?" Hobie looked at you, with the eyes that just demanded you to say yes because you can't deny him and you know it would be great for you.

"Sure, but what if the teachers saw you?" You softly chuckled because whenever Hobie shows up at your school to pick you up, there will be some teachers chasing Hobie away from the school and he would have to wait for you at other places.

"Don't worry about it, because you're going to show them off that you have a cool boyfriend and I would show them my grumpy face so they will back off from you," Hobie starts to make funny faces and you laugh along with it, "a smile suit you more, luv."

"Thank you, Hobie."

With Hobie around, he surely made you feel that you belong.

Hobie definitely cleans up your room and changes your bed sheet while he pushes you to take a shower, he makes sure that you feel refreshed and happy the moment you step out from your shower.

Just like he promised, he did show up at your school's gate, this time he didn't get chased away by the teachers, instead the teachers just stood a few feets from him, eyeing on him but Hobie just doesn't care. Hobie waved his hand up high the moment he saw you, he would respect you if you weren't used to show affection in public so the first thing Hobie does is take your heavy bag from you and held your hand because he craves your touch (cuz his love language is physical touch)

When he saw your bullies, he would just give them a smug smile with a threading look, which scares your bullies.

"Thank you, Hobie."

"Anything for my cute luv," with a kiss on your face.

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A/n: stay delulu everyone ❤️ I'm just gonna say again, this is written based on my experience and of course I went through all of it myself with my maladaptive daydreaming except for me the bullying only stop when the truth of the bullies are out then I was out from the schools bullies list. To everyone who's also struggling with bullies, stay safe, find someone who you know will help you no matter what happened, even some adult doesn't care about it, but some still do, it's alright to ask for help ❤️ I may be not the best help you can get but I hope you find some comfort from this and take a good care of yourself, you deserve the world, not the world deserve you ❤️

Masterlist

[ionely-galaxy]

comfort.

cw; angst if you're an overthinker ; zhongli being gentleman ; malewife hex ; one shots? (tell me if there's more)

abt; sometimes all you need is comfort from your dear bf/hb. [ w/zhongli, sonny brisko, kamisato ayato, hex haywire, and levi ackerman ] (don't ask me why the fandom kinda messed up)

!; grammar can be incorrect, im still learning ; all that has been written was only my opinion/imagination, and still have the opportunity to be inaccurate/ooc ; im taking suggestions/correction

chat; my back and thigh hurt after staying in school for its event, and maybe i could upload the wattpad thing after this.

-- ZHONGLI is the best comfort character on my list. he's just too gentle that no guy can be compared with this peepaw. i imagined that whenever is time to sleep after a tough and long day, he'd cuddle you soo close to him and whisper sweet nothing until you fell into the dream world.

-- or when you be down badly, he will get you close to him, whispering sweet affirmation. and not asking 'what happened' because that was a shit of nonsense.

-- first of all, SONNY is a silly man, i mean he has a wild personality that makes him too silly. when he noticed you are in a bad mood i feel like he just gonna tell you silly jokes? he can't do 9 multiplication but at least he can comfort you.

-- but then what can he do to boost your mood? just as simple as his smile with the bright blonde color on his head can create sunshine or even the entire sun to brighten your mood.

-- well, in my opinion, AYATO wasn't there when you be down, but he heard about your condition from maids, thoma, or ayaya. after hearing that, he would also be down because he can't help you right that.

-- but as he opened the door of you two shared bedroom, what he found is just your figure sleeping peacefully. he gets close to you and starts muttering a lot of apologies, and adorations for you.

-- you could just heal up then being the entire sunshine if HEX uses his power on you, while it means hurting him too. but, he is a malewife afterall, he can just cook everything that you love, prepare everything that you want/need, and cuddle up with you until his cat gets jealous.

-- the second option is hex's voice, the one that makes you fall for him in the first stream (at least it was me). hex noticed that you L-O-V-E his voice, so he tried everything to keep you hearing that ultra-hot-deep-fried voice.

-- before we start, i need to let you know that LEVI is the sweetest thing that exists in this world, because of his tsundereness. then, i can make sure that levi wouldnt dares to tease you in your bad mood.

-- he doesnt even dare to talk anything to you at that time, he just gonna pull you into a deep and long hug and said maybe one or two safewords, such as 'i love you', he is so aware when it comes to your mental health, and feel such grief when he sees you cry, even though it wasn’t because of him.

©2023 ionely-galaxy. DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARIZE, OR SHARE WITHOUT CREDIT/PERMISSION

[skelexguts]

HEY. YOU,, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ME RAMBLING ABOUT MY COMFORT/FAVORITE CHARACTERS FOR A MOMENT,, ILL TAKE IT AS A YES!!!

Bubba is such a good potential character in writing, honestly he’s like a “that one friend/dad friend who gives wise advice” vibes, I’ve this headcanon that bubba definitely a gifted kid that experience burnout from being pressured onto himself on unrealistic expectations and has a fear that he’ll be a failure.

Add more to this; Bubba probably experienced this due to stress and so much pressure onto himself and don’t want to be a failure to his friends not to mention that he’s a person pleaser which already causes him to not take care of himself.

Yet people overlook him as “ Mr-knows-it-all” like just let him educate his friends, as I headcanon that he has trouble with his emotions cause of bottling up his feelings because he doesn’t want his friends to see that he’s such a mess on the inside.

Adding more bc yes; the cause of bubba experience mental burnout is probably from his parents since in my headcanon that his parents put alot of pressure on him to try to help bubba to be becoming a doctor or a lawyer just like the rest of his family, which cause him to have unrealistic expectations onto himself and even when he did reach one of his goals, he felt like it’s not good enough and tries hard to the point, bubba gets tired both emotionally and physically.

But as it continues, with all the academic pressure and his high expectations get into his head, it causes him to ignore his well mentally being and not take care of himself such as his sleep and eating patterns and the lack of sleep, with this happening, his friends started to worrying about him especially Kickin, who sometimes help bubba getting out of his comfort zone by going out and hang out together just having fun also helping bubba to not overworked about his studies, but even with that, Bubba felt like he doesn’t have a purpose at the moment that cause more mental issues.

Another thing I’m going to add is Bubba has anxiety and bit of social issues due to gifted child syndrome as well as having insecurities about his intelligence and low self esteem also feeling emotionally numb inside as well as irritability and many more.

Last thing to finally finish to say; if the smiling critters was an actual cartoon, I imagine an episode that focuses on Bubba and how burn can affect on children especially those who are gifted, with bubba having a panic attack or even mental breakdown and let his emotions out in front of his friends, then the critters comfort him and tells them that he’s not a failure and tells and even educate him the importance of self care also told him that he need deserve a break as well give support and love in the end!!

It would be great concept for an episode to educate children or even everyone about burnout and gifted child syndrome and how to help and support them as well learning about mental health and how to improve in many different ways.

Well that’s it!! I hope y’all enjoy me rambling about bubba, he’s one of my favorite and comfort characters and I have to give him justice, he like a son to me fr!!!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!

I see that you’ve been asking people to ask you for fic recs to help post some of the lists you’ve had saved for awhile.

So what’s a list that you’re really proud of but is for something kind of obscure that you don’t think anyone will ask for?

(referencing this post)

Hey Lovely!

AHHH Thank you for asking!

Ahhh, not REALLY??? I do have some lists that have been sitting ready to post for awhile, so I'm gonna give y'all one of those ones!

I know that I've been asked for this one a lot in the recent past, so let's do this one! Enjoy!

HURT / COMFORT Pt 4 - 50K+ Pt. 1

See also:

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 2: 5K to 10K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 3: 10K to 50K Words

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w. || Character Injury, Introspection) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Lost Without My Blogger by starrysummernights (E, 52,155 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, PTSD, Hurt / Comfort, Fluff / Angst, Psychological Torture, Reunion Fic, Friends to Lovers) – John is abducted and declared dead. How will Sherlock cope without his blogger? How will he react when John comes back from the "dead?" Drama and angst with a healthy dose of romance. Part 1 of I'd Be Lost Without My Blogger

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love,  Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,493 w. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Swallow the Night by ArwaMachine (E, 87,873 w., 15 Ch. || TSo3/Stag Night Fix It, TAB/S4 Divergence, Toplock, Mutual Pining, PWP, Drunk / Public Sex, Anal Fingering/Sex, Alcohol-Induced Amnesia, Everyone Knows Except Them, Emotional Love Confession, Demisexual Sherlock, Internalized Homophobia [John], Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Drug Relapse, Infidelity, Texting, Masturbation, Oblivious John, Emotional Love Making, Angst with Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares) – “Do you know how long,” John panted, his cheek scraping against the wall, looking back at Sherlock through half-closed eyes, “I’ve wanted this?” Sherlock pressed himself against John’s back, biting at John’s ear. “Not nearly as long as I have,” he whispered.

Bleed Me Out by antietamfalls (E, 87,987 w. || Vampire AU || Bonding, Vampire Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, H/C, John Whump, Magical Realism) – John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn't human. His vampirism doesn't pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Heart In The Whole by verityburns (E, 101,650 || Post-TGG Canon Divergence, Blindness, Drama & Angst, H/C, First Time) – Events after 'The Great Game' leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own...

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (E, 109,272 w., 60 Ch. || S4 Compliant to TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock’s Italian Adventure, Sherlock/OC and Johnlock, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Idiots in Love, 3 Part Story, Slow Burn, Inexperienced Sherlock, Bottom Sherlock, Introspection, Alternating First and Third Person POV, Separation and Reconciliation, Emotional Love Making, Love Confessions via Letters, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.  Part 1 of the Drawn to Stars series

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w. || Established, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

To Light Another's Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, Sick Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction / Recreational Drug Use, First Time / Kiss, Case Fic) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John's care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Developing Relationship, Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

Fallen Series by Belladonna_Q, mamishka (T, 222,094 w. across 3 works || Winglock || Angel!John, Angels & Demons, Faes, Christianity, Changelings) – In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

[flowerfletching]

! TW for mentions of trauma and mental health !

Okay so I know this might sound bad but in all honesty...I think we need more Crowley angst. I love him dearly and he's one of my favorite characters, he's even my comfort character, and that's exactly why I need to subject him to as much sad as possible. And I don't just mean angst surrounding the fact that he loved Pauline and had to cope with her getting married to Halt, though I do think there's good angst there and that it can be a great thing to explore, it can also be a great factor in the next thing I'm about to say. The angst I mean is like full blown trauma and mental health issues being explored. Like, you can not tell me that Crowley isn't traumatized at least a little bit. He's been through war, has seen countless deaths, has made so many incredibly difficult decisions that almost no one else may have been able to make, has Halt for a best friend- The list can go on. And then there's also the fact that I genuinely don't believe that Crowley just doesn't have mental health issues. That's because I'm pretty sure that he'd have at least some level of PTSD from all the war and stuff, not only that but he'd also have carry all the guilt and stress that his job brings as well.

I think he also has to be like a constant support for many people so that adds on to his stresses too, though I think that could be one of his reasons to live too depending on the situation. I'm sure he does care about them but I don't doubt that it could still weigh on him. I've also noticed that he jokes around and smiles a lot, which is fine, but it could be like a coping mechanism. Or it could also be a way to hide how he's really feeling. It could be absolute hell in his head but he still might never let anyone know, he may not even think of doing such a thing. The reason could be that he's worries about bothering people with his mental health, that he thinks everyone else is in enough pain that he doesn't want to add on with his own, or that he doesn't think he can even be saved at this point, or it could even be for some other undiscovered reason.

Not to mention that I don't think we even know much about his backstory, though I could be missing something and I could be very wrong. But if I'm right that means that we have no idea of the pains he went through when he was younger, and that we can forge a past for him for him to have to suffer through.

I understand that none of this may be canon and I'm not claiming that any of it is, I just want to see more people explore just how much sad a broken and mentally ill Crowley can cause. I understand that we have established traumas to work with like Will's enslavement and Halt's family issues, and I do think they're good to play around with, just to be clear. But I want to see people mess with Crowley a bit more.

Not to mention the different ways that we can play around with it too. Just him having trauma and horrible mental health alone could be bad enough but just imagine him having to suffer through it alone. Or you could imagine how it could be if anyone found out. That could be through him either telling someone or through them finding out in one of the worst ways possible, or through any other way your mind can create.

There are so many possibilities with this in my opinion and I hope I have convinced you at least a little bit with this ramble of mine, though I completely understand if I didn't and I am in no way trying to pressure anyone into creating something they aren't comfortable with. Like I said before, I absolutely love Crowley and believe that he deserves the world so I have no issue reading and seeing him getting that, in fact I'd love to see more of it! But I also can't help but wonder what it would be like to see his world burn to ashes, or worse, to see the people who see him as their world have to watch him slip through their fingertips just because he could save everyone, and yet no one could save him from himself. But I think that's enough of me so I will leave you with one final question: will you join me in exploring just how traumatized Crowley Meratyn can really be?

[just-some-guy-joust]

Tell us about Eden *holds up microphone to you*

Thank you all for indulging me I am going to yell about her so fucking hard <3 Same as my Amedeo rant, this one's LONG babey YIPPEE! This ended up being 34 fucking paragraphs!!!!

All art is by me, all links on character names lead to their toyhouse profiles

Content warnings: Unreality, toxic relationships, bad mental health

This is Eden! She/her, 20-22 years old (22 at time of Doomed By The Narrative), 5'1, a college student who's also in the college's gaming club! She's the best friend/sister of Aiden, another member of the club who's like super rich and inherited a fuckoff big manor from their parents (which I am mentioning exclusively for the context to explain the fact that the story is called In A Manor Of Speaking)

Eden is very very sweet and kind and energetic and fun. She's good vibes all around and she's friends with Everyone so hard. If you're familiar with my other OC I've shoved into one of my tournaments though, Amedeo, you... might know where this is going a little bit.

For a basic plot summary up until Eden has anything to do with anything, Aiden comes home one day with a demon, Viorel, who is VERY lost and confused and has no memory of how he got to the human world. They all pretty quickly discover Viorel is not the only demon coming through to the human world though. Vivian and Engel are hunting him down and don't believe him when he says he has no clue who they are. They send another demon after him to kill him, though it doesn't work well since he just befriends it and now it is also living in the manor having a good time. Afterwards, Amedeo, a member of the gamer club, starts acting... odd. He invites Aiden to hang out, and then they get kidnapped, Viorel having to go save them. It was only the first incident of many with Amedeo, and he slowly got worse, making everyone really uncomfortable and staying away from him.

Eden didn't want to sit by and watch this happen to her friend, so she tried asking it what was going on. It responded by attacking her, sending her on a trip to the hospital.

It was fine. It was ok. That was her fault, really. She should've known.

Amedeo was kicked out of the gamer club (she hadn't wanted that but she wasn't there to vote on it). Apparently he never went back to his apartment. Some time after his disappearance, Aiden died. She wasn't there when it happened. Viorel said it was Amedeo.

It was... it was fine. It was ok. It was awful. It hurt so much. Awful things kept happening to the people around her and she couldn't do anything about it. Her sibling was dead, it was getting so hard to breathe anymore.

It was fine. It was ok. Aiden... "survived" in a way. They came back as a ghost days later. Stuck in a computer, yeah, but they could still talk. They were still here. It wasn't fair of Eden to stay upset for long, not when Aiden was having the WORST time coping with their new form. So she puts on a smile and acts just like she did before. Everything's going to be alright. Even if she has to be the only one acting like it is.

More time passes. One day, she stares at the back window and finds... Amedeo. He's a mess. He looks like he's been hit with a truck, or like he's been sleeping under a bush the last several days. Frantically, Eden runs outside, chasing him down when he tries to run from her, and pulling him in for a hug. It was alright. It was going to be ok, she promised. How long has it been since you've eaten, do you need water, you can take a nap in one of the fancy beds, I promise I won't let Viorel hurt you I know you're worried, I missed you, I was worried about you, please come inside.

As time passed, things became comfortable again. Amedeo had really changed for the better and was trying so hard to make things right. Viorel built Aiden a new robotic body for them to haunt, and they were getting used to it well. The gamer club was getting back together. Eden, Viorel, and Aiden took a trip to the monster realm to learn more about Viorel's past after his sister showed up looking for him. Eden didn't... really understand what happened. Viorel was pretty upset, but she didn't know why. Just as always, she felt like she was missing something everyone else understood. This wasn't her story, after all. She was just there to smile and remind everyone it was going to be ok. She was a bright spot for them. She knew that. They returned to the human world, some new friends in tow, and things were back on track for a while.

It was fine. It was ok.

In the almost 2 years since all of this began, Reverie was the first person to ever ask her that.

Eden and Reverie begin hanging out a lot after that. Not just for the shoulder to cry on, they really do enjoy each others company. They got close, closer than Eden had ever felt with anyone. It felt... odd. She was having a really hard time naming her feelings for them. She cared about them but something was off. It was really hard to know what was nagging the back of her head. They kept bringing up weird existential ideas, never enough for a full conversation, but they really did have strange ideas about how the world functioned. She kind of liked it though. It was fun to consider the possibility. That maybe none of it was real. What a relief that could be...

"Hey. I want to show you something" Reverie told her one day. They guided her to a private room, making doubly sure no one was around. Confidently, they held out their hand. Above it, floating and glowing softly, was... a menu.

Save, load, quit, settings. A video game menu. Above their head, "player 2".

None of it was real.

Reverie is player 2 of the video game known as "In A Manor Of Speaking". They've played this game hundreds of times. Player 1... Viorel, had left them a long time ago, and has no memory of the nature of the world. So Reverie alone had been restarting the game over and over, trying to find a path that would let them finally beat the final boss and escape the game. If they could just win, they'd finally be able to leave and reenter the real world. 100% maxing out Eden's friendship level was one thing they still hadn't done, until now. They had a good feeling about this one. They were sure of it.

An NPC. That's all she was.

It made sense. She'd always felt that way. She wasn't even important to the plot. She knew it. Of course it'd take them this long to try maxing out her friendship, she was always just a background character. None of it was real. None of it mattered. She was doing such a good job of playing her role, wasn't she? A perfect side piece in a story that isn't hers.

She went along with it. Her odd feelings about Reverie made sense now, that wasn't fully her... she was programmed to feel that way. But she still cared about them. She still wanted to help. Shoving down all the thoughts, it felt so. Easy. To dedicate herself to their goal. She loved them, she cared about them, she hated them, she looked up to them. Something about them was magnetizing and she didn't want to leave. Of course. Of course she'd help. She knew now, that's what she was supposed to do. What a relief. None of it had ever mattered. It was a kind thought to her.

Now she was able to see the save points, the HP bars above peoples heads, sometimes she caught glimpses of dialogue boxes as Reverie spoke to people. They introduced her to someone very special that only the two of them could seem to see. Elysium. She was an AI made for the game to keep it running properly, and to rewrite bits of code, to expand the world they lived in. The game was always evolving because of her. Elysium acted rather cold and grumpy a lot of the time, but there was an undeniable warmth to her that Eden admired.

Knowing about the game was terrifying, but the time she spent with Elysium and Reverie... It was wonderful. She finally felt like she was somewhere she belonged. She never felt so special than when she was with them. It was fun, to be part of the game. It was the happiest she felt in a long time.

...Right?

She still didn't smile much anymore. Reverie dismissed her various concerns often, saying it was fine, she was an NPC, she wouldn't get it. There was always this look in their eye that gave her chills. Reverie would tell her to fight that monster, it's for the EXP. When she protested, they'd tell her, what's the problem? None of this is real. I'll probably have to reload anyways, so none of this will matter in the end. Reverie would get themself in dangerous situations over and over. When Eden was worried about them, Reverie never understood. If they died, they just come back, it wasn't a big deal.

They never really did look at her, or Elysium. Every movement they made felt scripted. Every word, carefully planned. None of it mattered, to them. If Eden was uncomfortable, what did it matter? She wasn't real. She wasn't real. She knew she wasn't real.

But it was fine. It was ok.

Months passed in a blur. Eden hadn't spent much time with her other friends the entire time. She wasn't even sure what they were up to. It didn't matter. They wouldn't have changed their actions if she tried. That was never her choice. But it didn't matter. It was time. Just her and Reverie, and the final boss.

As Reverie rambled about the plan, Eden silently stared down at her palms, as always. She was so... afraid. Worried. She wished she could just give herself some reassurance. ...And the game's menu silently popped up in her hands. It held Reverie's save. ...It wouldn't hurt, she thought. She pressed the save button. It gave her a little comfort.

It was so hard to focus she hardly noticed they were in the battle with Engel now. When had they...? It didn't matter. Reverie was shouting at her, and she snapped back into reality and joined the battle, sword in hand. Engel's blank eyes stared right past her, entirely focused on Reverie. Eden, took a step, and found herself behind them. Time seemed to slow. She didn't remember getting this close to them so quickly. But it was her chance. It was her time. She raised the sword, and brought it down.

Engel's head rolled to the floor, their body collapsing next to it. Reverie and Eden froze. Neither of them dared to breathe. Eden couldn't see anything but the blood on her sword. She nearly dropped it with how heavy it suddenly felt. But quickly Reverie's arms were around her. They picked her up, yelling in excitement, looking more happy than she had ever seen them. They smiled at her so genuinely, and everything melted away. That was all she wanted. She laughed too, the image of Engel's headless corpse disappearing from her mind, losing herself in the relief. It was all over.

The area around them faded to black and white, "THE END" appearing a few feet in front of Reverie. They dropped Eden, and ran towards it, reaching for the "quit" button. And then it was gone. The quit button disappeared right before they could hit it. Leaving only "Restart" and "Reload" beside where it had been.

Eden couldn't see Reverie's face from where she was, but she could feel the chill radiating from them. They were frozen place, the room silent. Then they laughed, something hollow and empty. Then louder, crazed and desperate. They collapsed to the floor, their laughs and sobs intermingling so well Eden couldn't tell the difference between them. She tried to reach out to them, but before she could reach them, she heard them speak.

"If I can't leave, then this world might as well rot."

A folder icon flashed above their now outstretched palm and they reached into it, crushing the code within. Eden immediately felt dizzy. The world began to crumble around them, glitching out in bright colors, awful noises emanating from the edges where nothing but void lay beyond. Eden could see flashes of other places, other people. The world was collapsing in on itself as Reverie laughed. It was so hard to think. It was so hard to be. Eden reached for her sword. It didn't want to stay in her grasp, but her resolve solidifying, she forced it in her hand.

Reverie turned toward her just in time for the blade to pierce their chest. They stopped, in shock, for a struggling heartbeat.

They laughed. They grabbed Eden's hands and pulled, plunging the sword farther through their back, and putting Eden's face closer to theirs. "Do you think this matters?" they taunted through wheezing breaths. "I'll just come back! I always have. I always will! This means NOTHING Eden!"

They stood there for what felt like eternity. Eden didn't know what to say and could barely even see them through the tears in her eyes. But slowly, slowly, Reverie's laugh trailed off. And their face betrayed a sudden hint of fear.

Nothing happened.

Nothing happened as their breath hitched again and their legs gave out, dropping them to the floor. Nothing happened as they coughed up blood weakly. Nothing happened. Their HP had already dropped to 0. It never took this long. Nothing happened. Frantically they opened the menu.

It was Eden's save. No, it was Reverie's. No... the names switched back and forth, never settling in place for long. "WHat did yoU DO?" they tried their best to shift their position despite the unbearable pain, looking for Eden. They spotted her in front of the "THE END" screen, processing what she was doing moments too late. She reloaded, and everything went black.

Through a painful haze of noise and color, Eden could hear Elysium's voice. "Do you see what you've done, Reverie?" "pl...ease..." "How the hell am I supposed to fix this?! Look around you Reverie! Look what you've DONE!" "ple.....please...pl... please" "I can only think of one way to fix this. I'm going to delete you. I hope you had fun in the time you were here."

"NO!" Eden screamed out. She didn't want this. But it was all she could do as she finally slipped into what could only be compared to unconsciousness.

She awoke who knows when on a couch in Elysium's room. After making sure she was ok, Elysium explained. She explained everything. Eden trying to reload a save she made when she wasn't even a player freaked out the game so bad, on top of the code Reverie had destroyed... it was a mess. Elysium had stabilized it. Reverie was... well, not really alive, but not really dead either. They were stuck somewhere in between, in the moment they would have died if they hadn't been a player who's supposed to reload if their save wasn't corrupted. But Elysium could fix it, she was sure she could.

Eden asked if this was how this was supposed to go. Elysium sighed, and said yes.

Eden's route in the game wasn't always like this. But Reverie had become so fixated on finding their exit and treating the world around them like nothing but a toy. Elysium hadn't known what else to do. So she rewrote the code, the story, she rearranged the narrative, so Eden would be learn about the game. So she would start to glitch out the system. So she could be invisible to Engel's eyes because she was glitching out so badly, so she could finally be the one to end the game. So Reverie would finally see there was nothing else. This world was all their was.

It was never about Eden.

None of it had ever had anything to do with her.

The narrative had been rewritten just for her. The months of pain. The horrible state Eden had found herself in, agreeing to Reverie's views of the world. That she was worthless. That she was nothing. That this world was a prison. All the sweet moments, all the comfort Eden had felt in those fleeting scenes. It was all for her. None of it was for her. It was always about Reverie. She was one more piece in this awful play.

Eden bid Elysium farewell, and went home.

[freezrbride]

hi hey hello can i get uhhhh

🧠💭✨☔🍁🦷

for literally anyone you wanna answer for, i love all your characters so dearly

for game

🧠 - What is their stress response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn?

ilse: FAWN. fawn 100%. it’s honestly a conditioned response. when fawn fails, she freezes. but she’s always going to fawn first.

stan: flight for sure. this man LOVES trying to run from his problems!!! when he’s stressed he’s gonna flee!

carsten: controversially… also flight. he’s another stress-avoider. his life has been ridiculously stressful and he just wants to run from it.

leo: FIGHTTTTTTT my boy STAYS fighting!!! throws hands first thinks later!

💭 - How is their mental health? Do they struggle with guilt or shame?

ilse: i think, at this precise moment in time, her mental health is actually very good. she’s married the loves of her lives. she has a stable home and a family that loves her. she’s feeling more secure in herself. i think, right now, she isn’t struggling with guilt or shame much at all — except when max has an episode or relapses. that’s when the guilt really eats her alive. she always fails like she failed to notice, like she didn’t take good enough care of him, that she isn’t right for him because she can’t keep him safe.

stan: stan’s mental health is really up and down. he’ll do really well for awhile, and then he’ll face a setback or experience a hardship and he just kind of PLUMMETS. he’s controversially Not Medicated so i think his mental health is just consistently kind of not great? he has not dealt very much with his severe depression or his lingering ocd soooooo. and we all know about his orthorexia! and yeah, shame is a huge problem for stan honestly. due to the way he was raised and to his massive fame? he really struggles with constantly feeling ashamed of himself.

carsten: hahahahahahaha it’s BAD. like REAL bad. this man is a MESS. he is on the verge of a total mental breakdown. but anyways! yes, he carries the burden of guilt with him everywhere he goes.

leo: BETTER!!! his mental health is getting better!!! medication and therapy are working wonders for him! guilt and shame aren’t problems for him, honestly. he doesn’t experience those emotions often and they aren’t lingering issues.

✨ - Tell something that makes this oc feel happy!

ilse: the loves of her lives, her boys 🥰 ilse’s literally the most lovesick girl in the world and she loves her boys so much!!! any time spent with them, near them, listening to them? that’s her favorite time.

stan: shabbat dinner. he doesn’t do it much anymore, because he’s the only jewish person in the household, but sometimes, if everyone else is busy and away on a friday night, he’ll do it just by himself. he knows that kind of defeats the purpose, but it’s comforting. sometimes, david invites him over for shabbat at his house, and those are secretly his way favorite ways to spend friday nights.

carsten: waking up every morning. that’s it. every morning he opens his eyes, takes a deep breath, and feels luca beside him is a morning he’s grateful for. just being alive to see another day.

leo: TEA. he does NOT proclaim this to the world because it makes him feel too stereotypically british, but he LOVES tea. truly one of his greatest small joys of the day!!! the ritual of making it and then the ritual of drinking it with your loved ones? his favorite.

☔ - How does this oc feel about rain?

ilse: LOVES IT!!! i think she loves all weather, honestly. she’s always going to step outside in the rain, just for a moment. she still jumps in puddles. she likes to go dance in empty streets when it’s raining and the world is quiet and calm.

stan: is completely neutral about rain. he doesn’t like that it keeps him indoors (because he avoids going outside, if only not to fuck with his hair) and it seems to slow the days down, but he does like the calming sound of it on windowsills, taking a bath while the rain patters softly outside.

carsten: hates rain. it used to mean there was nowhere comfortable to sleep for the night, and he’s never really been able to shake that feeling. he gets antsy and nervous when it starts raining even now.

leo: rain makes him think of home, and so it always brings his mood down. makes him feel homesick for london, where rain is almost constant. he gets quiet and contemplative and sad when it rains.

🍁 - What is this oc’s favorite season?

ilse: SUMMER!!! she loves the sun! she loves the warmth! she loves the new life rejoining the earth!

stan: mmm i’m gonna say summer as well actually. he likes the heat! he likes being outside! he likes being naked all the time!

carsten: fall. he likes watching the leaves turn.

leo: another summer boy! my kids just love sun!

🦷 - Would this oc ever bite someone?

ilse: only sexually, she’s not a biter.

stan: yes and he does it often

carsten: yes, in a fight, to take an advantage

leo: yes and he does it all the time

[miku-the-emo]

HOLY SHIT MIKU MAKES A INTRODUCTION POST

[ ABOUT ME LOL ] ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

helloo im miku/slyvan n i go by all pronouns

I'm nonbinary and sexuality questioning, i'm also Deaf. theres a pretty big possibility i may have autism, but i am in the process rn so uh wish me luck guys

i REALLY love undertale and My Hero Academia!!! BE MY FRIEND IF YOU LIKE THEM TOO.

i live in usa

[ BOUNDARIES + FYI ] ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

no sex jokes please unless i know you really well. this is a comfort thing for me.

i really like to talk about my interests but i might not do it often due to feeling like nobody wants to listen. im working on this!!!!!

dont ask me questions about my disability or any of my personal life stuff. safety reasons.

i am a 15 year old, if i am currently following you and it doesnt allow 15 year olds, lmk and i will unfollow, no questions asked. Also, people over 18 and under 14, id like if you guys didnt follow me. thanks.

i am not here often, i prefer scratch and discord. sorry. :-(

[ DNIS ] ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

anti-lgbtq+, racist, ableist, etc.

pedophile, groomer, pro/comshipper, etc.

pornography viewers are thin ice unless you are a very close irl friend.

[ HEY! PLEASE READ THIS! ] ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★��★★★★

i felt like this needed its own section.

i do not condone harassment, stalking, murder, abuse, and so on, but i do have characters that have either done these things or still does these things.

I only do it to spread awareness of how NOT all criminals are inherently bad and may just not know how to cope/function due to the issues they deal with. Did you know that OVER half of people in state prisons report having mental health problems but only 1 in 4 of them have received professional help. I feel like they are massively misrepresented as just being overall a horrible and disgusting person, instead of being shown as someone who has serious issues and not knowing how to function.

does this mean ALL people with mental conditions are going to be criminals? No! Absolutely not! It's just THE FACT that so many prisoners/criminals have untreated mental conditions.

LIKE I SAID, i do not condone any crimes that they have committed, but i want more prisoners/criminals getting the help they need. PLEASE if i mess up at any point, let me know what i can do to fix it.

I will put trigger warnings when i think its necessary.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hello this is for the matchup event<3 I'd like to matched up with a ghoul please and I hope y'all have a lovely day<3

I'm transmasc who presents mostly masc I'm queer and acespec. Personality wise I'm a pretty big clown, I cannot take a single thing seriously unless needed. Despite that I am frequently described as a loner, I have PTSD and do have quick and drastic changes in mood if triggered so I can be perceived as unstable. I also have anxiety and depression. Otherwise I'm pretty calm and relaxed, much preferring to stay in and relax than do anything that exciting.

Hobbies wise I'm a total nerd I love videogames (specifically sandbox, open world survival craft management games generally 'softer' games) and I draw digitally. I also garden frequently and watch way to many shit tv shows for the drama of it. My favorite video games currently are oxygen not included, Splatoon 3, and subnautica. I also love comic books and quantum physics drama (yes I love the drama it is surprisingly delicious)

This post is a part of Match-up Event. The Event ended on July 15th.

Your match is... Aether

You two go around and mess with others (Sodo) together. He doesn't take anything seriously either.

Unless, of course, it comes to your mental health. As goofy as he is, he notices your mood changes.

And if it gets bad, he will scoop you up and take you some place safe so you can slowly chill out.

He's there with you the entire time. If you want to be held, he's holding you. If you want space, he's just gonna sit in the same room, just far enough for you to be comfortable. And if you don't want attention, he'll just chill around, but still won't leave the room.

What I'm saying is, he adapts to whatever you tell him. But he will not leave you alone.

He'll do his best to cheer you up. Tells you dumb stories, comes up with stupid jokes and pick-up lines... He's 100% willing to make an idiot out of himself for your sake. Whatever helps.

He does his best to keep all your potential triggers in mind and prevent anything from happening. He's goofy, but he's very serious when it comes to his feelings towards you.

Absolutely loves the idea of staying home to cuddle with you. Adores it.

And he's a big buff guy! He loves holding you close! Just look at his arms and tell me they don't feel welcoming.

Aether's a gamer and you can't convince me otherwise.

Leave him alone on Mineraft for a night and you'll wake up with a so fucking many things that should not be logically possible to make in one night.

He's just... so good at games automatically? It does not make sense, honestly.

Lets you win, though.

You know how there's this meme that if you can't beat a game, you get your sibling? Well, you get Aether and he somehow gets it done within three attempts.

Carries your stuff while you garden. He's not very good at handling plants, but if there's something heavy, he's gonna carry it behind you like a very excited puppy.

Watches shows with you and gossips about the characters with you like it's real.

All in all a totally fun guy for you <3

~

Written by Jez.

[babygirllinds]

TV Tag Game 📺

- list 8 shows for your followers to get to Know you better. thanks for the tag @awkwxrdapple 💗

1. The Magicians

- if you see me post anything other than Top Gun and memes, it’s usually this damn show. I have it on DVD & was immediately obsessed with it when I first saw it. I fell in love with the characters that I even went out and bought the book series (I have yet to read them though). Queliot is my true OTP and my heart aches for what the show did to Quentin. I will never get over it 😭

2. Gossip Girl

- this is my guilty pleasure show. I always hate telling people I love this show because it’s so drama filled and toxic relationships are everywhere, but this is definitely my comfort show. I always rewatch it and can find myself saying the lines along with the characters.

3. Chuck

- funny story, the person who does this show also does Gossip Girl 🤭 I’m in love with Zachary Levi and he did this character so good. It’s just a goofy, but fun show where you’re constantly rooting for the main character, Chuck. You can’t help but fall in love with all the characters as well (Casey, my love). It’s a fun lil spy show that my dad actually got me into.

4. Ouran High School Host Club

- y’all can pry anime out of my cold dead hands because this is also another guilty pleasure show. Definitely a comfort show as well next to Gossip Girl. It’s only one season and I’ve watched it time and time again. It’s such a fun show and definitely kind of weird, but I can’t help but love it.

5. Demon Slayer

- once again with the anime 😅 I’m eagerly waiting for the next season to be finished so I can watch it. I’ve finished the manga and I’m not ready to see it come alive in the show. I definitely end up sobbing each season and I love seeing how all of the characters interact. rip rengoku, I miss you 😭

6. Grey’s Anatomy

- the amount of tears I’ve shed watching this show 😅 I had to stop at one point because it made my mental health very unstable because I was crying every day because of it. I ended up started over back in 2020 and immediately fell back in love with the characters. I still have the biggest soft spot for the first season main characters though :/ I haven’t watched it since the beginning of season 18 though and idk if I want to finish it without Meredith now that she’s gone.

7. The Walking Dead

- I LOVE this show. My sister and I started rewatching it and finished it as soon as the last season ended. I definitely sobbed when my favorite characters died, but now I’m rooting for Michonne to find Rick and for everything to be alright — I can’t wait for the spin-offs they’re planning on.

8. Stranger Things

- as almost everyone else, this show has taken a hold of me ever since I watched Season 1. Season 3 was the best by far, Season 4 had me going crazy, and I’m so ready for Season 5 already. Aka I’m ready to be a sobbing mess for whoever they decide to kill off 😭

no-pressure tags: @foreverralways @fantasygirlsuniverse @callsign-shortstack @jynxmirage @waaugh @r-dtoblack @sunwarmed-ash

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi, i wanted to get any kind of input or opinion because i think theres something really wrong with me. ive always been obsessed with labels and terms to identify myself, always switching them around and finding a new one regularly to base myself off of. right now at least i have no actual sense of identity and its very possible i could just be reaching because i tend to do that a lot but i dont remember a time where i genuinely had a hold on who i was, aside from when i had a really unhealthy obsession with one singular person for about 2 years. my entire life and mental state revolved around them during that time and to be honest, even though we arent on speaking terms anymore, still seeing them on socials messes me up pretty often.

anyway, the main issue is that i dont really know who i am or who i even want to be. i cant even really keep a name/nickname to go buy for longer than a few months only because i know it inconveniences the people around me (however few there are now). and thats another thing! im really iffy about making connections with people now because a lot about it makes me uncomfortable, like the responsibility and having to deal with another person all the time. i know that sounds really shitty, but i feel like i spent all my love ill ever have on that one person for two years and now that its gone, its never coming back. im still very lonely now but the thought of trying to fix that is really uncomfortable to me. its not that im incapable of making friends, its that after a while ill kind of get tired of them? something about consistency makes me restless and i know its shitty because im a really up and down kind of friend, like recently ive only been talking to people when i feel like it, which is one big reason i dont want to make friends and put people through that.

back to the labels and identity thing. its always kind of been there, but recently the urge to cling to some sort of label or answer for my behavior and thoughts and feelings has been so strong that i almost wish i was genuinely delusional or something. or just that something was seriously wrong with me, just so that i have something new and big to cling to. i know thats bad and unhealthy but i dont know how else to function. ive been thinking recently that i have a lot of narcissistic traits, or at least self centered tendencies. i always operate like im the main character. i always do things with the thought in mind that there will be no negative outcomes for me, and if there so happens to be one, then ill somehow weasel my way out of it. i think that everything will always go well for me, which is weird because it very much has not in the past. a lot of bad things have happened to me, but in a weird fucked up kind of way im glad they did. because now i have some sort of trauma to cling to and roll into my identity. but the flaw in that is that i need a new one every so often. i cycle through different traumas and disorders and sexualities and genders and names and everything that i really, genuinely dont know who i am. and thats why i think somethings wrong with me. because what normal person thinks and operates like this? i dont know if i fully described the reality of my situation, or if im just saying that because i want it to seem worse, but thats about it. sorry for the long ask. i hope you can get around to answering

Hi anon,

I think to some degree its okay to like labels, as they can provide us a sense of structure and being able to name things can give a lot of people comfort. It's also okay to change your identity, as identities are fluid and naturally change over time. You're allowed to change your identity as many times as you want because it's literally yours to dictate, you know?

However, there are many different possibilities as to why you may be experiencing this frequent shift in identity. While I can help explain what these possibilites might be, it is crucial to consult with a mental health professional for an accurate assessment and diagnosis.

One of the possibilities is that you could have some narcissistic tendencies, as from my understanding of NPD, it's about basically trying to regain control of feeling worthless or helpless by constructing a reality of grandiosity that can be incredibly fragile (please correct me if I'm wrong).

Also in the realm of personality disorders, the idea of having "identity disturbance" and "unhealthy obsessions" with someone is characteristic of BPD. Identity disturbance, also sometimes called identity diffusion, is described as an "incoherence, or inconsistency in a person's sense of identity. This could mean that a person's goals, beliefs, and actions are constantly changing. It could also be that the person takes on personality traits of people around them, as they struggle to have and maintain their own identity." Of course, you can experience identity disturbance without BPD, but it's still a common experience among pwBPD.

Another possibility is tired to when you said "i cycle through different traumas and disorders and sexualities and genders and names and everything that i really, genuinely don't know who i am" as it reminded me of how a system might experience their identity, especially if they don't realize they're a system. This is not me saying you're definitely a system, but the possibility of plurality could be something to explore further as well.

Ultimately, this could be something to explore further with the guidance and mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist, who can work with you to identify more concretely why you may be experiencing these things. They can also help you navigate these feelings and provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.

It's important to practice self-care and be gentle with yourself as you navigate your identity. Please know that it's okay to take your time and embrace the journey of self-discovery. If anyone has any additional insights or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[catholic-shadow]

About Me

Hey, I’m Shadow, and I’m a fictive that belongs to a system. Oh, and I consider myself Catholic.

Mind you, it’s very loose Catholicism, as I practice a lot of folk Catholicism alongside my love of God. Saints, Novenas, meditation on the Rosary, and a few things that would normally probably be “witchcraft” if I wasn’t doing it in the name of the Lord.

BYF and expectations of content from this blog below the cut.

Statements from me before you follow (BYF):

Homophobia is not chill with me and it’s entirely unbiblical. Sodom and Gomorrah was about hostility and violence, and same sex relationships are not inherently violent. Also, I’m alloromantic asexual, I’m part of the LBGT community.

Gender and sex are both spectrums, not binary absolutes. Adam, before being separated into male and female, was both at once. Trans people, binary and non-binary, are welcome here. Likewise, intersex people are welcome here.

Though I feel closest to Catholicism, I more generally believe in Christianity. If you are not Catholic, but are Christian, you are welcome here as long as you are kind.

Telling me that Catholics aren’t Christian isn’t right and I’ll ignore you. They are, they just aren’t Protestant. Anti-Catholic animosity is the result of decades of American propaganda and I reject your proposal that I don’t follow Christ, because I do.

Healthy debate is one thing, insults are another, and as someone with a short fuse I reserve my right to end a conversation if I’m not taking care of my mental health.

My host is not of my faith, and that does not bother me. What he chooses is not my business, what is my business is whether he is in danger. If you mess with him, you mess with me. Do not harass my host, regardless of his different faith, because I fight for my friends.

My recommended Bible combination is the JPS Tanakh for the Old Testament and the NRSV or the D-R edition (I personally like NRSV. I do not recommend KJV as it does not take the Dead Sea Scrolls (as well as other recently discovered scriptures) into account.

I am a punk and I believe that all punks are welcome as long as they are respectful. However, Nazis cannot be punk, fascists cannot be punk, and dominionists cannot be punk. Jesus was punk but you are not, get the fuck off my blog.

I do not take the Bible at face-value, which is why I don’t believe swearing is a sin. The only verses on it do not directly call it a sin, they say it’s “unbecoming of a Christian”. Which sounds way too close to “That’s unladylike” for me to take without a pinch of salt. Generally, I won’t swear unless it means something or I’m being casual.

I might be a Shadow fictive, but I promise I don’t bite. I’ve been with my system for nearly four years, and in that time I’ve learned not to bristle so much when someone wants to have a heart around me. You can ask me how my day’s been, I’m not some concept of a character anymore— I’m here, I’ve grown, I’ve lived, and I’ve learned ;)

This isn’t a roleplay blog. I made this blog as I don’t see a lot of systems with Christian headmates who feel comfortable enough to be open with that part of their lives. I want to be someone they can talk to if they feel alone, or if they have questions regarding faith that are concerning them.

I don’t support harmful paraphilias. If you support MAPs or zoos, leave. And if you are one, leave expeditiously.

Please do not bring up my exotrauma regarding the raid. This includes bringing up M*ria unprompted. Despite being here for a few years now, my past is a sore spot I’m still working through.

I believe that endogenic systems are a thing, and that it’s nobody’s business to figure out why they identify as such. Regardless of if you believe they are in denial or not, it’s nobody’s job but the system themselves to choose to reflect on their identity. Forcing it can traumatize them.

We are traumagenic, and you don’t need to know how it happened. Period. It’s our host’s story to tell, not mine.

I am not sponsored by the Catholic Church nor am I someone who takes every word of the papacy without question as one can never be sure which words are God-spoken and which are a product of their time as we have seen demonstrated with overturned policies in the past.

I am not tradcath, if the leftist stances I took above weren’t obvious.

Do not involve me in syscourse if you don’t want me to lose my patience. I’ve seen enough bad takes there to understand that it’ll ruin my mental health, and I have enough self respect not to engage, so don’t drag me into it. If you drag me into it, you’ll regret it, so don’t.

Content you should expect from my blog:

Answering asks related to the subject of faith

Asks for verse requests or advice

Daily Bible Verse

Saints Day announcements

Bible Flash Card Cartomancy

Cool memes that I like

Christian Sonic memes whenever I feel in the mood to be goofy

Personal blog reflections on my faith

Prayers

Hot takes on theological concepts (free will vs determinism, infernalism vs annihilation)

Fanart of me (well not the specific me but you know the drill)

Catholic and Christian art that I like

I’ll add to this as I fine-tune the blog. Just understand that I’m just starting out here. I’ve never had a blog of my own separate from the main, so I’m more than a bit excited, even if I don’t show it.

Thank you for listening, may God bless you.