#also mirabelle’s entire existence is a blessing

[kat1nkulta]

Stargazing

Happy anniversary to ISAT🥹🫶

[ivipl1]

Hi. I already love your au your art is so cool. If you need like. If a prompt would help you talk about it. Hi. I would love to hear more. If you want. This is your sign to talk more... if. You know. If you want to 👍<- thumbs up emoji

WOAH HI HELLO OKAY !!!! OKAY!!!! ALRIGHT !!!!!!!!

As u might already know the premise of the au is that Mirabelle is looping. HOWEVER !!! Siffrin is still the one causing them, they simply don't remember. Mirabelle being the one who's looping is caused by them sharing the correct way to wish with the party earlier, which led to Mirabelle wishing to be able to save Vaugarde. The first loop starts with the entire party being crushed by the death corridor rock, and all the other loops are triggered by either Siffrin dying or someone else dying with Siffrin being there to see it.

Loop still exists in this au, and since they've sorta swapped with the Change God, they are now locked in the star door room, and Mirabelle has a chance to talk to them each loop! They also give her the sparkling needle, this au's equivalent of the keyknife.

The act 5 meltdown consists of essentially either by accident or on purpose showing Siffrin and the rest of the party more and more evidence that they're the ones causing the loops. The moment they finally snap and realize is when they open the star door that was trapping Loop, who. As you can probably imagine isn't too happy to see a siffrin who not only is with their party, but who also gets the privilege of not remembering the loops. The two get into a huge fight :)

As for Sage !!! They made up their name on the spot because their "character backstory" was that they were an ancient sage blessed by the change god (they very quickly forgot about it entirely). They offer Mirabelle guidance throughout the whole thing, slowly getting more than a little attached (though they would never actually admit it.)

AS A BONUS U GET A RANDOM SAGE DOODLE FROM MY GALLERY! HERE!

[no-tengo-ojos]

ISAT INFODUMP TIME 💥 fair warning i will be spoiling. the entire plot of isat

so it starts the day before siffrin (the main character/"you"), mirabelle, isabeau, odile, and bonnie are going to defeat the king of vaugarde. he's frozen everyone in the country in time, including bonnie's sister and the entirety of the house of change (think like. a place of worship that also offers classes and houses people. that's probably the simplest way i can say it) that mirabelle was staying in. the party is staying in a town called dormont, and they're getting ready to go presumably defeat the king. they are known as the saviors and thought to be predestined to save the world because mirabelle was (allegedly) blessed by the change god. they stay there for a night (primary in-game function is for you to get to know the characters) and while they're there, siffrin makes a wish at the favor tree, essentially a giant tree that you can wish on according to the belief of vaugard. this wish is very important to the plot of isat. they go to the house of change the next day to fight the king.

and siffrin dies almost immediately. he gets crushed by a rock and sent back to the previous day. at this point, you meet loop, who tells you you're stuck in a time loop and promises they're here to help (most of their lore comes from the two hats ending which i. have not gotten yet). presumably, siffrin has been trapped in a time loop so that he can defeat the king. the plot of act two revolves around learning how to do this, because it is assumed that once the king is defeated, the time loop ends, and everything goes back to normal. and then you defeat the king. and when you talk to the head housemaiden, the original one who was meant to defeat the king, she tells you something is broken. something is rotting and now you have to go back because the time loop is resetting and nobody can do anything about it.

siffrin wakes up at the beginning again. after talking to loop, they decide that maybe getting to know everyone better will get them out of the loop somehow. and after talking to everyone and spending time with them, he does get to see things change. he learns that mirabelle doesnt want a romantic relationship and struggles with that because of her relationship with the god of change (aroace rep yipee). bonnie is upset that siffrin lost their eye protecting them and that's why they've been so distant the whole game. odile is here because she's trying to reconnect with her mother's heritage that she lost when her mother left. isabeau entirely changed himself because he wanted to be someone he was happy with. and things do change!! but it's not enough to fix whatever's rotting with the time loop, and siffrin is sent back to the beginning. they decide that the next step is to figure more about the time loop and, by extension, the king. loop somewhat helps with this in that they help siffrin find out that the time loop is also reset if their party dies, rather than them being the only one whose death resets things. so at this point, the next step is to find out more about the king so that siffrin can find out more about the time loops so that he can break out of the time loop.

they find out that the king isnt from vaugarde, and that he's using a type of craft nobody is meant to be powerful enough to use. they find out that the king is from a country that was wiped from existence in recent memory, with no one who lived there being able to remember anything about it. no one can even say its name anymore. throughout the game up to this point, siffrin has experienced memory issues, mostly normal things like forgetting names and places, but some of the stranger ones include a kiln and a stuffed animal. siffrin is also from the country no one can remember. and when they go back to talk to the king about this, he tries to get them to remember, to say its name, and they can't. they loop back trying. they go back to try to fight the king, and this time he's figured out the time loops and he tricks the party into believing he's trustworthy and harmless because siffrin wants to believe he is. and then he kills bonnie.

act four starts here. the king mentioned something about a concept called wish craft in the last loop, so you start there. you learn that it originated in the forgotten country and that the head housemaiden knew about it as well. and siffrin decides that this must be it, surely if he asks the head housemaiden about wish craft they can work something out between them. this is the last possible option and the biggest lead they've had so far.

and then it doesn't work.

siffrin hits a breaking point here. he decides that the next course of action must be to defeat the king himself, since mirabelle does it every time. he tries to do the friend quests quickly to make everyone as strong as possible and effectively makes everything worse. he walks into the clocktower as they're considering leaving him behind that night and makes the executive decision to do it alone. the house is distinctly wrong now, nothing is where it should be and doors are in random places. and he almost defeats the king on his own, but ultimately he's knocked out. and then they meet mal du pays. i don't have the clearest memory of act 5 but to my understanding mal du pays is the manifestation of siffrin's thoughts at this point. it speaks in the voices of siffrin's party members, telling them how much they all hate them, because that's what siffrin is thinking at this point. if im wrong shoot me or something idk

siffrin's friends get to the king. they revive him and freeze the king in time and, in theory, everything should be good now. god how do i explain this. while theyre talking to the head housemaiden, it sets it for siffrin that their journey is over. everyone is going to go home now, and siffrin doesnt have a home to return to. so now we get siffrin boss battle where we find out that siffrin was accidentally the one trapping themself in the timeloop because they didnt want their journey to end because they didnt know what they were going to do afterward. the party talks about this and agree that they'd all assumed they would stay in contact so. the plot of isat is based in an anxiety based misunderstanding and as a person with no issues i don't relate to that at all.

and that's pretty much the plot of isat i think! there's two hats and character information i didnt cover but that's the broad plot :] sorry this is really long and rambly i like video game

Yee!!! Isat info dump!!!!

Thats, yeah, oh Siffrin…

[soft-persephone]

The Distance Between Our Galaxies

Jake Lockley (Moon Knight system) x Ballerina!Fem!Reader x Luke (Jake Johnson)

T // WC: 1.45k // warnings: descriptions of flesh being ripped // series masterlist //main masterlist

Jake woke up and immediately stilled his body.

A woman, soft and sweet was pressed up against him.

Fuck, Marc.

Jake woke up to the smell of your hair. It washed over his senses, filling him with a distant memory, transporting him to a hazy dream when he was younger. A boy, barely a teenager in the back of Marc’s mind.

You reminded him of that girl he fell in love with when he was younger, much younger.. He never got the chance to touch her. To talk to her or be with her in any capacity, not sure how to reach out and make his presence known.

Taking his chance, he indulged in a deep sniff. Letting his head rest on yours. For just a moment, lingering.

Your hand was strewn across his waist. Your legs were tangled in his. A distinct taste lingered on his tongue.

You.

He was a kid again. He couldn't quite remember what age, but it was young. However, old enough for his first kiss. Their first kiss.

Marc always seems to get them first.

Mirabel’s rich skin, the specific hues of her undertone was something magical, her full lips, and pretty white smile. Jake remembered the hazy moments he was present in the body, quiet as whispers.

Little Bel was a ray of sunshine in their youth. A getaway from the wretched plight that was home, but when they– mainly Marc was with her. It was the first time he didn't have to worry.

He didn't have to take over.

It was a blessing, but also his curse.

The entire experience reminded him of his own personal mortality. His living purgatory of being alive, but being unknown. A deep aching curse to want the things he could never have. He was a fleeting memory in the lives of a few, real for only one moment in time.

He was real once. Scattered in accros time in a world he used to know, but he’s been away so long. His friends might not even remember him. He had no one in London. He didn’t know anything or give a fuck about Europe.

There was no one to recognize him or remember he was ever there.

So all he had were the memories.

In his own universal plane of existence. A fleeting whisper in the wind. He knew he was real, but it would be nice to have his own life back. To make his own world known.

Every moment he was present in the body was a tribute to his own existence, his mustache, his own personal style, his walk, the way he talked. It was the time when body was his and only his. So he interacted with the world around him, outside of Marc’s reserved abrasiveness, and despite Steven’s best efforts to be sociable, it rubbed people the wrong way. He was nice, but they had a habit of not sticking around.

Most likely Marc’s fault.

So he had to hold on and cherish every moment. Every experience, thought, word, touch, feeling, every-everything. Because they were his.

So he cherished his time with you because when else was he going to get another chance.

He gingerly placed a finger on your full lips, slowly tracing them, relishing in the warmth of your breath, tickling the pad of his fingertips.

They were so soft.

His chest ached. His palms suddenly felt sweaty.

He suddenly rmemebrs how Mirabel’s eager plush lips and equally as eager tongue, swiped over theirs with a heated fervor they didn’t quite know was possible. Neither of them good at it, but it was one of Jake’s most precious memories. Her lips crashing awkwardly but passionately along Marc’s, unaware that you were kissing him too.Marc unaware of the boy inside that took his most brutal beatings.

There was no explanation for how Marc’s hand tightened on her side. There was no explanation for how he desperately needed to touch her hair. How he had to kiss her more firmly. How his tongue becomes less aggressive, just cherishing the moment. It must just be how much he liked her was all he thought. The conclusion he came to.

But no, it was him, Jake.

He somehow got control, for just a brief moment, to make his first kiss his, just as much as it was Marc’s.

Marc didn’t deserve most of the women that came into their lives.

He always managed to push them away, but the good one’s stuck around.

As much as Jake wanted to take over and show you a true man. A gentleman even, he couldn’t intervene.

Not like this.

You needed someone to meet you where you were at. To help you process your grief healthily.

The memory rushed over him. Blending with the present.

With one final brush of his thumb on your cheek. He sighed before returning to the unknown.

He didn’t have to think.

He was out of your bed without waking you up. He whisked the battered bloody clothes out of your hamper into a trash bag that took him more than a long time to find.

Jake hated large houses that needed maids. Everything was too far and hard to find.

Any evidence of Marc’s presence he scrubbed away.

“Spector had the body too long. There is buis—“

Yeah yeah, Jake replied back in his mind, shoving Khonshu away. You don’t have to tell me twice.

And he didn’t.

Khonshu was annoying.

Being Moon Knight just passed the time. When it was worth it and the work was honest, it could be a purpose.

He missed New York. He missed his cab, Crawley and Gina, her boys. God, those two knuckleheads.

It didn’t take long until he was out the front door of the house

Depsite his best efforts, he couldn’t shake it.

He couldn’t shake you.

But the thoughts started flowing, his mind racing, landing back onto you.

He was thinking about what your life might have been before you met your husband, who you were when he was alive and you both were happy. Leading him to think about his own life, the massive overbearing weight of his own life.

Hard, dark, and heavy, but it was carryable.

A little hard to carry, but he could carry it.

He made a call to steven’s job, doing his best british accent. He updated them on the phony family emergency, so he wouldn’t get fired, but they were running out of time. There was only so much FMLA Steven had left.

You were on his mind. Despite his best efforts to focus on the task at hand.

You felt far away.

The pain was heavy inside his chest, making his heart beat feel wrong. It gnawed at him like a wild dog. A ferocious desire eating him from the inside. The fear of not being fed makes it fight harder and harder. It’s teeth gnashed and bit down on his soul. Ripping him apart and leaving his strown flesh and guts in the cold, what’s left of his heart beating out of his chest.

Jake ignored it, donning the mask and suit of threads. Perhaps the suit's healing factor could stave away at the wild untamed longing.

It must be from Marc’s.

The foreign wild emotion was unlike anything he’d ever felt. He ignored it as he jumped in the air, running across rooftops. He ignored it as he glided through the air. He ignored it as he landed on the fire escape of the little run down hotel room he’d got temporarily for them as Marc did fuck all with the body.

Opening the closet door he looked at the little evidence board he’d been making.

“If you had listened to me, you’d know by now that you need to go back to the large house. With the. . .girl.”

“She’s a grown woman.” Jake blinked. “Why do I need to go back?”

“The spiritual disturbance is in the house.”

“But that’s just—��

“Not. The husband.” Khonshu bellowed. “It’s following him.”

This wasn’t good. Not one bit.

Whatever magical disturbance Khonshu had Jake chasing the past couple of months was getting worse. The nights spent keeping the magical monsters and powers at be from hurting ordinary people were getting longer and longer.

They were running out of time and Marc hogging the body only made things worse.

You don’t need me to tell you what you must do…” Khonshu started, his looming form’s glow faded into the shadows out of his vision and back into the apparatus of his mind. His voice became the memory of a distant echo in his mind. “The gnawing,” his voice faded even farther away, “is of your own creation.”

[lanternlightss]

More ISAT & Old Mond Thoughts ™

Rhw and Isabeau. They’re both “defenders” in some way or another, the type of people to be in the frontlines. They would be able to balance eachother out- isabeau being outwardly friendly and extroverted yet oblivious to things with a low self-esteem, while rhw would come across as stern and coldhearted yet fairly observant, but he has a soft spot for people he genuinely trusts and cares about. While the king and deca are the type of people to say “i want to protect you” <- ends up making people’s lives far worse/evil with morally grey intentions, isa and rhw are “i want to protect you” <- genuinely wants to help others. Also. isabeau holding rhw’s claymore.

Mirabelle and Gunnhildr both being “blessed” by their respective “gods”, while being resistant to the most immediate danger (time freeze and the blizzards). Sadly I do not know much about gunnhildr or her ideals (hoyo please give us more gunnhildr lore please) however I can figure out a way to tie this into mirabelle’s “What if I don’t want to change and just stay how I am”. Mira giving gunnhildr a bow for her to put onto her ponytail. “Chosen one” type characters <- not the protagonists

Now here’s where things start falling apart a bit for my theories- bonnie and wispti are both A- short B- childish and C- more sidelines/support characters. Wispti sitting in bonnie’s hat. The two of them running around (is it still running if you’re flying?). Them constantly sneaking food into places. Wispti giving snacks to bonnie from places they should not legally be going into.

Which. brings me to my next point. For starters, I have neither gotten the twohats ending nor have i played the prologue (But I do plan to do both!! eventually!!) but I have been repeatedly spoiled. So. Loop and (venti? barbatos?). First of all how are wind wisps in the AU both things that just so happen to exist along with technically being two separate companions. Second. Loop and venti being heavily associated with time. Venti either being made entirely of wind or wearing something resembling his archon statue cloak, his skin being the same dark void featured on his wind wisp form. Then again he would look more humanoid from the neck up than loop does. Ven and loop both being the “guardians” of their respective “protagonists,” along with “being them” in some way, however I don’t actually know much of the context behind the relationship loop and siffrin have with eachother so I can’t say much further.

Odile and Amos bonding over being the oldest member of their party (Amos only being a few years or so older than rhw however. if you take the immortal amos theory into consideration.) They need a coffee and a break. Cannot deal with this. Perceptive over others. Amos constantly complaining about The Divorce to odile. They both have a diamond motif on their clothes. They take care of the other party members (mentor of sorts)

Unfortunately I don’t know what to do with the Head Housemaiden. Only thing I can think of is Istaroth being her counterpart but istaroth is the time god herself while euphrasie is only a representative (I could be wrong about this since the wiki doesn’t say much about her yet)

This took way too long to write. I am so normal

ohhh my goodnesss isabeau and rhw together …. that is SUCH a fun dynamic to think about real holy ??? especially with the way isabeau was The Only defender who actually went out of their way to help when asked (iirc), rhw would respect him so much for that (and this is leaning into hc territory—but if rhw was the same way too, another thing to bond over ….) and i see you raising isa wielding rhw’s claymore and cheering as loud as possible over the idea of him holding a weapon nearly as tall as he is and doing it powerfully and gracefully but i also raise you. rhw using isabeau’s gloves. rhw catalyst—except he punches the lights out of you, all physical, no elemental. also the image of him with those sparkling gems of gloves is so .

ALSO YEAH YEAH THEM AND BEING “CHOSEN….” gunnhildr leading her clan, trying her best for everyone to be happy…. mirabelle not wanting to let anyone down for being a “fraud” …. so you ?? yeah, same here. gunnhildr with a bow would be so so so so cute too. feeling buddies …. 2 !!! the weight of the world won’t feel as heavy if we lift it together !!!!

and oh god the influence wispti will have on bonnie. bard and co have already swayed that wisp plenty and now they get to be the ones doing the swaying. oh god. god you’re so real. wispti voice i will teach you everything you need to know (<- about to make bonnie have the most saddest puppy eyes in existence of this world, the effects of this will be catastrophic.)

(also oh ? one day !!) But i am nodding along. so much. when in doubt timeline shenanigans come in clutch /lh but . maybee . hmmm . since timeloops Are possible in the genshin verse, i wonder if there are other ways to make one. more specifically, the leyylinesss ……..?? maybe that can be mashed together with stars and time’s “timeloops ghosts” ? glitchy venti. Spitballing. but. I Am Looking. that sounds SO COOL. (i am also :3’ing.)

amos and odile sounds like such a power duo. voice of reason (majority time.) and amos talking about the divorce too 😭😭 oh my goodness odile would be constantly using her squinting, confused sprite. odile would be ruthless in her observations of deca. she has a section of notes on him specifically that started off “things thatd come in handy” to “what was this guys deal” (also there’s an immortal amos theory ??????????)

and the head housemaiden yeah ……. hm . hm . there Are shrine maiden’s in genshin ,,,, but. hm . hmmmmmmm . i half wonder if maybe this would be more The Universe’s territory ? maybe a room dedicated solely to time itself. hm . but i am pointing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[joshuamj]

i am Blind to basically anything I'm not familiar with, so i still don't know anythin about In Stars and Time. Could you give some info on it??? i am looking for games to play rn....

hmmm okay.. I will say, going in blind is best! I went in knowing literally only 3 things. 1) that it was about a timeloop, 2) that it was entirely monochrome, and 3) that this one character I had seen once was in it (Mirabelle, didn't know her name, just that she existed). And going in with such little knowledge was great, I'd highly recommend

But if you want more, then here's a bit more.. (mostly a synopsis of stuff you'll figure out early on, no major spoilers)

Obviously its a story about a timeloop! In the game, your party is a group trying to save the world from someone simply known as "the King" who is freezing the entire country in time. Interestingly, the game takes place at the end of your journey. The entire party has been assembled and have known each other, you've journeyed across the country, collected items that'll allow you to enter where the King awaits. All thats left to do is go through where he's holed up and defeat him. Also interestingly, you don't play as the protagonist of this story I've just mentioned. A girl named Mirabelle is the chosen one, blessed by her god, she is unable to be frozen in time, and has taken it upon herself to save her country. Yet, you aren't playing as her. You're playing as someone named Siffrin, just one of her party members, and one that says that they're only here because "they have nothing better to do." This should be Mirabelle's story, but you quickly realize why it isn't. Not long into the game, Siffrin's life unexpectedly comes to an end, and the fact that there's a timeloop afoot becomes apparent. Nobody but you and one strange mystery person (named "Loop" of all things) are aware of the loops. In the game you'll do all that you can to make it to the King and defeat him and keep your friends safe, no matter how many deaths, no matter how much time. But thing's aren't that simple you'll find!

Also this game is about a timeloop, so as you may guess, there's a lot of death involved so warnings for lots of death (including suicide), and also warnings for Really Bad Mental Health Stuff, as you may also guess, being trapped in a timeloop isn't good for your mental health. Check the warnings for the game if you think you may need to!

[literary-musing]

Mirabel Madrigal’s gift

Pretty serious SPOILERS for Encanto up ahead, if you haven’t seen it yet.

Alright the movie wasn’t bad I liked it, all songs freakin SLAPPED, ending was a little messy but hey that’s Disney for you.

Now onto my theory/✨musings✨ about it

Now I know the whole weird Mirabel is the gift blah blah stuff Disney fed us but hear me out I have a theory, mirabel DOES have a gift.

Ok so let’s wind back to when the cracks first appeared right, Mirabel was distressed and wistful about the entire matter of gifts, this is expressed pretty clearly in the short song she sings where she literally says something along the lines of “is it too late for me to get a gift” I think this is when mirabel actually receives her gift, or maybe she’s had it since the night she was supposed to get it, I’m unsure, stay with me I’ll elaborate on this at the end.

The gift in question is either 1) Casita or 2) Encanto itself! This makes sense either way too but for now I’ll stick with mirabel is the encanto.

Now the first time the cracks appear, mirabel is sad, wistful and longing, she’s not in the best mood by the looks of it, and i think since she’s the encanto, those emotions reflect in the casita and everything else related to the encanto around her, but this is brief because those emotions are quickly replaced by that of emergency and caution when she notices the cracks and rushes to inform the others but by then she’s back to normal and so is the casita.

every time the cracks appear in the walls, mirabel is in some form of distress. Similarly when mirabel makes up with Isabella and is on good terms with her and is happy and joyous, the cracks all disappear! The encanto reflects her emotions! And just after that is another instance of it, when Abuela interrupts her moment with Isabella and accuses her of being the cause of the cracks (which, in my theory, she was tbh) she gets angry and distressed and explodes out at abuela accusing her and saying a lot of not very nice things in retaliation to the not very nice things that abuela said to her. This was the peak of mirabel’s distress and also the peak of the instability of the encanto!

And the last instance of an event that supports my theory is that, when they rebuild the house there is virtually NO reason for the encanto to be back unless a-a-a unless it was never gone! The encanto, along with giving mirabel a gift also made itself practically immortal for the madrigals. This is very nicely signified by how mirabel’s equivalent of the-glowy-door-thing wasn’t restricted to a room but rather the entire house. and I suspect that if an encanto universe were to exist then in it , in the future sometime, another member of the madrigal family would be blessed with a similar gift in time of turmoil. which brings me to my last point.

I mentioned earlier that mirabel either got the gift the night of the ceremony or the night when she was supposed to get it (and seemingly didn’t). I said in the preceding paragraph that the encanto would give this same gift to another member of the family in time of *turmoil* now that implies there was something wrong to begin with when mirabel got the gift. It makes sense to have her get the gift during the night of the ceremony because by then abuela already had developed her entire villain arc thingy, you know what I mean, the thing she was redeemed for at the end. This along with the fact that Bruno had left the family could’ve been the reason the encanto did what it did, in order to fix what was broken.

However the same could apply to the night mirabel got her gift, it’d also arguably make more sense since it’s weird how the encanto one day was just like lmao fuck u in particular mirabel. However there’s no real conflict at the time of mirabel’s ceremony… I think. Mirabel is among the younger cousins so it’s possible that abuela had already developed her you-know-what-tendencies also, the encanto did give Bruno the gift of foresight so it’s possible it itself can also see things before they happen and sensed abuela’s future. I’d say it sensed Bruno leaving but that makes no sense cuz he left BECAUSE of the events set off by mirabel’s ceremony. This is why I said I’m unclear on how exactly my theory works.

Fin.

Weird or not, Disney movies are always enjoyable, and encanto was no exception, it was fun. I just wish they’d cleared up the ending a bit more. In retrospect my “theory” might’ve even been what they meant by mirabel being the gift in the movie, there’s definitely some hints suggesting the same. Dolores rap best, mirabel’s dress is so fluffy!! And Bruno is a babie period

- A

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 18-19

Chapter 18

We’re in Nor’s POV again, so prepare for edge. Though that can be said about literally every chapter in this book.

Nor is having a dream about how she’s being crushed by a small rock that feels like a bunch of very big rocks. And then she falls into an abyss (relatable), and into a big ol’ fire.

It’s very dramatic, and also? Symbolism.

Extremely symbolism. 

She wakes up.

She was so cold. Her body, coated in sweat, was attracting the frigid recycled air that clung to her like a second skin.

How does one “attract” air? I know what they’re trying to say but like, at some point you just gotta stop trying to twist more meaning and drama out of every meaningless detail. 

People say show don’t tell, but here, Shinsay follows up their telling with really dubious showing. Why do you do this? Just to pad the word count? More words doesn’t make you a better writer.

We’re introduced to Zahn, who is Nor’s bodyguard and also lover. They cuddle for a bit and Nor thinks about how nobody but Zahn is allowed to see her this vulnerable. 

“I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think, Zahn.” She lifted her prosthetic hand to her face to wipe away the tears, then dropped it, disgusted by the sight of the gold metal, of the scars marring her upper wrist. Disgusted with herself for feeling so weak.

Ah. We’re doing this now, are we?

It’s okay though, because Zahn takes her fake, disgusting hand and kisses her tears away! 

How sweet.

“You’re safe,” he said with a sigh. “I will always protect you, Nor.”

“I don’t need protecting,” she whispered.

I know this is supposed to be deep and not true, but she’s basically telling him, her bodyguard, that she only pays him to sleep with her. 

To many people, Nor was the stone-cold ruler who haunted the nightmares of her foes. But to Zahn, she was just Nor. The love of his life, as he was hers.

Cool cool. The narrative then continues to talk about how they were there for each other when the war took their families and how he’s the only one who’s seen her at her weakest and bla bla bla.

This chapter is literally just a massive infodump about this new rando. You couldn’t have woven his existence into the narrative in a more elegant way, Shinsay?

“Don’t leave me,” Nor said, looking up into his eyes. Seeing the passion mirrored there.

“I would never dream of it,” he said.

Their lips touched, and his hands slid down her bare back, gentle at first. Then hungry for more as she let him lay her back down.

“I love you,” Zahn said. “My Nhatyla.”

The lingering fear from her nightmare trickled away as a very different sort of feeling took its place.

“A very different sort of feeling,” Shinsay?

Are you two grown women or twelve actual years old, combined? Why is this so coy? You can’t have both all these MATURE and EDGY characters who are all about TEH SECKS and VIOLENS while basically giggling like tweens whenever you make a reference to fucking. 

If you don’t want to deal with the subject, why include it at all? This is YA, isn’t it? Teens can handle discussions and references to sex. You could probably even get away with sex scenes if you write them carefully and don’t make them too explicit.

If you wanted to be completely PG, why is everyone always making grody sex jokes? If you wanted them all to have amazing sex lives, why don’t you have them (and the narration) speak maturely and openly about the subject?

I do not understand the reasoning behind any of this.

Chapter 19

We’re back with Dex, who, if you recall, kissed Andi without her consent in chapter 17.

DEX HAD FORGOTTEN how fast Andi’s reflexes could be when she was mad.

Furious, actually, he thought, as he watched the shock on her face melt into a mask of pure, boiling rage.

The sentence above, my friends, is a perfect illustration of why I have such problems with purple prose and using a bunch of “pretty descriptions” that don’t mean jack shit just to show off how deep your writing is.

Allow me to be extremely nitpicky and go off on a tangent while I analyze this ... word vomit.

Melting happens when something gets warm enough to change state from solid to liquid, but without necessarily boiling. In writing, the word usually has positive connotations. ”Molten” metals are often used as eye colors for love interests, people “melt” when another person does something sweet or romantic for them, et cetera. 

It makes people think of warmth, softness, pliability. 

When Andi’s shock melts into “a mask of rage,” it implies that the rage is solidified, but also that it’s fake, because it’s only a mask. Then we’re told that it’s actually boiling still. The fact that her shock is “on” her face doesn’t help.

Now, I know what you’ll say: Eff, this isn’t literal! It’s all just a metaphor!

But metaphors have to make sense, and conflicting, confusing visuals and concepts do nothing but shine a spotlight on the author’s carelessness. They’ve picked these words because they have inherent meaning and they sound good and intense, but without understanding how to use that meaning to their advantage.

If Shinsay wanted to keep the “hot rage” angle, I’d suggest something like this:

Dex watched as the shock on Andi’s face boiled over into white-hot rage.

Jesus Christ, I’m only two sentences in.

Anywhoo, Andi beats Dex with a chair. I would’ve killed him on the spot but I’ll take what I can get.

Andi spat on the ground, then rubbed her lips with the back of her sleeve. For one moment, she looked purely Andi, angry as a wet feline and terrifyingly beautiful.

...

So uh. For future reference: Comparing to your badass, ruthles space pirate to a wet cat 

is probably the dumbest fucking thing you can do.

I guess Dex is also impressed that Andi looks like Andi. 

And here I thought standards couldn’t go any lower.

Maybe there’s a message of positivity in there? Dex loves you if you look like you, girls! Just be yourself, and also angry as a wet cat.

Then he saw the moment when Andi’s face changed. She transformed into someone else entirely; an actress playing the perfect part.

So you’re gonna describe to me how her shock melts into a mask of rage and how she looks angry like a wet cat, but you won’t tell me how Dex sees her slip into the role of an actress playing the perfect part? Something that would actually be quite interesting to witness?

Figures.

Andi starts acting like Dex cheated on her and Lira and Breck join in as the other women, which for some reason confuses Dex, the ultimate mastermind that he is. He catches on eventually as the other patrons start surrounding them in the hopes of a juicy fight.

Breck kicks him and he flies across the room, which is absolutely delightful and I love it. She kicked him into the table of the Lunamere guards (finally someone does something smart) and a fight with them breaks out. 

Dex wasn’t the tallest man by Mirabel standards, but what he lacked in height, he made up in speed and agility—and above all, the desire to win.

And as we all know, people who lose always actually want to lose, and the guards he’s fighting against just don’t want to win enough!

Makes perfect sense.

He was all grace and glory as he spun and whirled, taking out Lunamere guards as they rushed forward in hopes of sinking their knives into his gut.

Don’t make me do a GLORY count. Blease.

We switch POV to Andi. This entire chapter/fight scene is for some reason broken up into chunks, even though it’s all the same one scene and at one point we don’t even switch POVs, but the scene break is still there?

Who edited this?

[The Lunamere guard] howled and dropped, and then she was off again, leaping over his fallen form, her hands itching to raise hell, draw blood and spread the glory of her name.

The Bloody Baroness was here.

She’d make sure every single one of them knew it.

THE GLORY OF HER NAME

Note how Andi seems to just love this. I guess when the narrative needs her to be ruthless and badass, she’s all about being the Bloody Baroness and loves to SPREAD HER GLORY, but when she’s angsting, it’s all about how much she hates murder and remembers every single person she’s killed.

Cheap, Shinsay. You’re cheap and so is your book.

Another POV skip. We’re back with Dex. It’s still the same scene, same fight.

The plan was in place. Everything was glorious, beautiful, blessed disarray.

GLORIOUS

Another scene break. We’re back with Andi. Holy shit, this is such a terrible, disconnected, patchy mess. 

Dex was cornered with his back against the bar, fresh green blood oozing from a cut on his brow.

Proof that his blood is actually green, in case y’all didn’t believe me. 

Idk what this means or if it will ever be explained, but whatever.

Every part of Andi’s soul told her to get the hell out of there before the Sparks went off. She could abandon the mission. Leave Valen Cortas in prison, with Dex beside him once the warden of Lunamere caught wind of this.

But as she stood back and watched the clock tick down, some tiny part of herself, some animal thing deep down, began to claw its way back up and out into the smoky pub light.

The Bloody Baroness never turned away from a fight.

See? Andi enjoys this, and willingly chooses it when she can do otherwise. So then why does Shinsay insist on making her all angsty and sad about the people she murders?

YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND FUCK IT TOO, SHINSAY.

With a sigh, she pushed herself forward, swinging her borrowed knives as if they were extensions of her body. Little pieces of heaven clutched in her hellraising fists.

With a sigh? Why is she acting like she doesn’t have a choice and this is a chore, like her mom told her to clean her room? Oh my god.

And yeah, I had to look at “little pieces of heaven clutched in her hellraising fists,” and now so do you.

Anyway, the “Sparks” (if they were explained, I didn’t pay attention) that Andi’s team set up around the bar go off and:

Then the whole world exploded around [Andi and Dex].

God, I wish they could die in the explosion.