#also me: yeah i like you but we just met 2 years ago i feel like we're moving too fast. i dont feel like kissing yet
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beautifullilacsky · 2 days ago
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"Will you overthinking this?" He asked as we were walking hand in hand in the park.
Me, fully aware I have already started overthinking the moment he mentioned that her friend broke off her relationship: "....... juuup"
"What are you overthinking about? Lets discuss it together, let me help"... I explained how, maybe, now that she is single, she might try to get over a guy by getting under another one. Or maybe, since you guys tall about problems and are pretty close, she turns to flirting now that she is single. "Okay and? Why would I get into that while I have my girlfriend at home? I would say no thank you. Also, I don't think she is the person to do that. I have met her before she was in a relationship, and she also wasn't like this then". Okay, well, .. maybe she will have heard bad things about me and will not like me or she will think I am not good enough for you, or too much, and tell you to break up with me. I mean, I'm in a relationship with you, not with her, but ja, well... He put his arms around me and stopped us from walking on, hugging me from behind. "Sometimes I forget how insecure you can be. Do you really think I'll just break up with you because someone tells me to? And besides, I think you should meet her. She is really kind and everytime I mentioned something, she was always more on the reassuring side." Well, I also thought your other friend was kind.. "..... true. ..... I don't have an argument against that."
"So... if she were to still be in a relationship, would it be okay? .. meh, I feel like that's a bad excuse. "Yeah she is in a relationship anyway" , as if that changes anything. Doesn't that sound like a bad thing to you?" Hmm. Well. Honestly, I felt better when she was in a relationship, assuming it wasn't an u know who typa relationship. It's always a 2 people's decision. And that way, I am at least sure that one side is on the no side (as I said it out loud, I realized how fuckedup it sounded.) "Shouldn't you trust me to already be on the no side?" .... I should, yes. I just don't know what to make of the fact that you told me that you can't promise me that it won't happen again. "That was a year ago" .... "back then I wasn't super sure, and before that I was def not sure. Also, I did not want to force you to trust me (def different exact words from his, buthey, u get the point.). It's been a year." Would you get back to it and say something different now then? "Yes. I am sure that it will never happen again".
And there it was. I know he is a firm believer in actions over words, but sometimes I need words to be sure. He told me that he tells me the truth, and I know he does. Thus, if he tells me, I believe him. So. Maybe this is what I needed to truly get to trusting him again. His word. It's not a signed contract, I know. I can't sue him if his words turn out to be false. Though, I needed this. I needed his faith in himself to make sure it won't happen again. Fuck damn hey. I needed him to believe in himself. If he doesn't believe he will stop it the next time, who am I to believe so? Well well well. Before he left, if our roommate wasn't sitting right next to me, I would've said after he asked me if I'm still okay (for like, the 3th time): "if you say it won't happen again, I trust you." Fuck. And I'd mean it. I feel like I have entered a new reality. One in which it is safe for me to have faith in him. In which, sure, maybe a girl will flirt with him, but I can laugh about it. I can be proud to be with that hotstuff that she can't help but talk to. I can make jokes about it and raise my eyebrows up and down. I can do it all, and enjoy the situation, knowing. Truly knowing. That it doesn't matter at all if the other party is on the "yes-boat". He isn't, and he won't get onto it either. Even if a chance presents itself, he won't even see it as one. He has the set in stone plan to come back home to me. Even if she would get him drunk and touch him all over, ... he will say no. Even if it scares me more with booze, he is still himself. He doesn't get into a crazy trans and turns into a different person with different values. He is still the same person who held my hand as we walked in the autumn colored park, and said that it would never happen again.
It feels like something in me has been freed. As if trust was a fluffy creature within me, which was tied down. His words freed it. It still can't believe that the tiny trust guy is free. That it's safe to stand up now and run and smile and truly trust. It's astonished, grasping for those words that set it free. Wanting to hold them and craving for them to invade its veins with its lightning energy and brightness. May it no longer feel the need to stay on the ground; the ties have been undone. Fuck.
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steviescrystals · 4 months ago
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i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
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lesbicastagna · 1 year ago
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ask how i feel being a person who gives love and eroticism a place of importance in my identity but i'm also naturally picky and hard to get.
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indecisivemuch · 10 months ago
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Lovesick & Lovelorn
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: You thought that Luke Castellan, your best friend, did not reciprocate your feelings for him. To cope, you wrote letters addressed to him and kept them in a box. What happens when one of your sisters finds it? Inspired by 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' (fluff, best friends to lovers; you thought it was unreciprocated feelings, happy ending).
Note: Ahh, I'm so happy the show got renewed for season 2.
Word count: 3.3k
You were deeply convinced your fate was tied to one with eternal lovelorn. 
Three years ago, you arrived at Camp Half-Blood and settled into the Hermes cabin before you were claimed by your Godly parent. It was there that you met Luke Castellan - one of your soon-to-be best friends. Though, you knew you were doomed from your first glance into his eyes. Then came his friendly smile and an offer of a handshake, where his hand engulfed yours.
At first, you thought that silly little crush would dissipate. But over time, as you became close friends with the Hermes cabin counselor, you were almost convinced he was faultless. You seemed to adore every little thing about him. Along with the fondness that grew in your heart was also self-pity. At one point, even looking at him hurt because you knew he did not return your feelings.
Hence, the letters.
In between your memories of Luke were letters you wrote throughout those years just to cope with the unreciprocated feeling. It was painful, but what else could you do? You truly believed confessing would put your friendship at risk. Neither did you feel like dealing with the heartache of a rejection. So you never uttered any of your feelings to him, continuing to imprint it on lined papers instead.
You scowled as the pen you were using ran out of ink, leaving the latest edition of unspoken words unfinished. Wordlessly, you fold the incomplete letter into an envelope and shove it into the turquoise box you bought while returning from a quest once. You neatly put the box under your bed.
“Y/N, it’s time to head out,” one of your sisters repeated. Two minutes ago, people were starting to leave, so those on cleaning duties could clean up your cabin. Since you were mid-writing, you hastily asked for a few more seconds. Now, you were the only one left besides two of your sisters.
“Yes, sorry,” you quickly muttered, exiting the cabin and almost immediately bumped into Luke. “Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.
“I’m here for you. I thought we should hang out,” Luke answered ever so casually. Yet, your heart swelled at the thought that he was there for you. Before you could reply, you two were interrupted by another camper, who told you that one of your other best friends needed you and that it was an emergency.
“I’m so sorry, we’re gonna have to take a rain check on that hangout,” you informed Luke. You slowly started walking backward and away from him. “I’ll see you later, though?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Come find me whenever you’re done, yeah?” Luke requested, hoping to spend time with you later. His soft look made you pause mid-step, almost as if your foot had been cemented to the stones beneath. You nodded absentmindedly before snapping out of that state to comfort your friend.
After two hours of listening to your friend and comforting them, you finally left their cabin to search for Luke, who previously told you to find him after. However, around half an hour later, you slowly gave up at the thought of doing so, feeling almost defeated.
As you turned to head back to your cabin, you spotted the Hermes counselor exiting his. You called out his name, watching his back stiffen before he turned to you. You ignored the odd behavior and recalled, “I’m free now if you’re down to hang out.”
“I’m so sorry, but I’m really busy right now.”
“Uhm, well, I guess I’ll just meet you at our spot whenever you’re done then?” you suggested. You and Luke fell into a routine of star-gazing every night.
Laying under the dark sky that painted your whole horizon often made you feel small. But something about that was so calming, especially considering most of the time, you were suffocated by the weight and duties of being a Demigod. You wondered if it was the moment or if it was Luke’ presence that aided your momentary peace.
“I really, really can’t tonight, I have a lot of things to do.”
“Oh… that’s okay. I’ll see you around?” you replied, watching as Luke fidgeted and gulped while attempting to look normal. It was futile, really, because being best friends meant you could sense when the slightest thing was even off. He nodded, and you retreated to your cabin with thoughts swirling in your head.
Then came the next few torturous and confusing days. For the last two years, Luke would always approach you - almost daily, and vice versa. Being best friends with Luke has been wonderful. Every day together felt like a blessing.
Now, it seemed almost like he was avoiding you. He would find a new excuse whenever you approached. He wouldn’t even look in your direction. Yesterday, you made eye contact with him, and he turned away abruptly, facing his back towards you.
You had enough after day three. You went to your cabin after dinner and reached under your bed with one hand. You did not want to, but this would perhaps be your first-ever letter of anguish about Luke Castellan.
The box…where is the box?
You peered under your bed, mouth hanging open when your eyes could not spot it either. You looked up and around, hoping maybe you had misplaced it somewhere, even though part of you knew you had put it under your bed. You have always done so.
“Hey, have you seen a turquoise box?” you asked your sister as she walked by.
“Oh, the rectangle one, about this big?” your sister reconfirmed, using her hand to show you the size she indicated.
“Yes, that one.”
“Oh, I gave it to Luke.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I was cleaning the cabin three days ago, accidentally knocked it over and saw letters addressed to him. He was right by the door, so I thought maybe I should just deliver them to him.”
Blood drained from your face, and your heart plummeted. Anything else your sister seemed to be talking about started sounding like murmurs, and you could not focus on a word she was saying. Your worst nightmare seemed to have arrived. Somehow, your friendship with him had ended without you knowing. No wonder he has been avoiding you these past few days. He has read them all.
“I need to go,” you quickly muttered, storming out of your cabin. You could feel your body slightly shaking from the panic. No amount of Demigod training had prepared you for moments like these. Then you saw Luke walking over you…with the box in his hands. You took a deep breath and practically forced your voice box to work.
“Listen, Luke—”
“I didn’t think you’d buy birthday gifts that early, Y/N,” he interrupted.
“What?” you questioned and observed the sweet smile gracing his Adonis-like face.
“This?” he gestured to the box. “Your sister gave it to me and said it was from you. Though I thought I should give it back ‘cause it’s not my birthday yet, you might have wanted to give it to me yourself.”
“Oh…” it was the only thing you could utter as it dawned on you what he had perceived the situation as. “Wait, so you haven’t opened it?” you clarified.
“Nope.”
“...So we’re ok?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” your mouth hung slightly agape at his words. As you scrunch your eyebrows, you could see how his fingers fidget somewhat, almost as if he could tell you would bring his odd behavior up.
“You’ve been acting really odd the last few days, Luke. It had me worried. I thought I did something wrong. It seems like you were avoiding me.”
“I was just really busy with counselor duties,” he dismissed it. However, something about it made you a bit hesitant to believe his words. You did it anyway, nevertheless. You blamed it on your stupid heart.
“Yeah, but—” you stopped, not wanting to stir anything. “Ok then, I’m going to put this away, but I’ll see you later, yeah? Maybe we can finally not rain check again?” You hated how hopeful you sounded. You’re glad that the sun had set a few minutes ago, blessing you with enough degree of darkness to hide your facial expressions from being as evident as they would be in daylight.
“Of course, I’ll see you later, Y/N,” despite the dark and only dim lights from nearby, you noticed there was something different about him. Luke was wearing a nervous smile, almost sheepish like a schoolboy. There was a glimmer of amazement in his eyes like he was in disbelief. Though it was definitely overpowered by a glaring degree of warmth. He was looking at you like all those writers have written down in the books you have read before - something along the lines of adoration and love.
You shook those thoughts away again, refusing to somehow fool yourself into believing he could reciprocate those feelings.
“Yeah, see you,” you muttered, hand gripping tightly on the box as you took it from his hold. As soon as you reached your cabin, you opened the box to peer inside. You immediately sighed in relief upon seeing the copious amount of letters with your handwriting on them, all with Luke’s name on the front.
However, your eyes landed on one unfamiliar one. It had your name on it, written in a familiar wonky handwriting that you have always found endearing.
You sat on your bed, taking the letter out delicately, almost in disbelief. Then, dread overtook any other emotion. Was this Luke’s way of letting you down easy? By pretending to not have read any of your letters and rejecting you through the form that you express your love to him? — you had to physically shake your head at that thought.
You took the letter out of its envelope and started reading: 
‘Dear Y/N,
This is probably the 40th time I tried writing this letter. It feels impossible to try and convey everything onto one piece of paper.
You deserve someone to at least view you as their muse rather than always being the writer. 
Hence why, for the past few days, I had to physically drag myself away from you every time you tried approaching me because I knew if I didn’t, I would just end up spilling my feelings out right then. I knew if I even looked at you, I would have just abandoned this letter idea and run to you. You should have seen me yesterday. When we made eye contact, I had to turn away from you because having the knowledge of you liking me back was enough to knock all the air out of my lungs. I was a flustered mess from just that eye contact.
I doubt my words could rival what you have written about me. You once wrote how it hurts to love someone this much and to always be the poet but never the poem. Well, I’d like to thank you for making me your poems. However, now it is your turn. Allow me to be your poet.
You occupy my mind like it’s your castle. If I had to name everything I love about you, this letter would never end. But for starters, here are some of the first times:
The first time Chiron introduced you to the Hermes cabin, I could not take my eyes off you. Chris had to nudge me away. Just from that alone, a part of me knew I was in trouble. I think I came to the conclusion that I did not want to hold anybody else’s hand after just shaking yours.
2.5 years back during a campfire in June, even when the fire had died and the air grew cold, our voices still filled the air. Conversations just flow when I am with you. I remember never wanting that moment to end. Then you started talking about constellations and told me about the ones above us. Right there and then was the first time I had the urge to kiss you, and to show you that I was just as obsessed with you as you were with stars.
The first time I realized I was in love with you was while coming back from a quest 2 years ago. I remember feeling so numb coming back. The world almost seemed monotone, and I wondered for a second, what if I had made one wrong move? Just as I returned to camp, you bolted and hugged me. Somehow, it felt like I had just taken my first bit of fresh air after drowning for so long. I vividly recall shutting my eyes as I hugged you back because I felt like I was finally home. I remember never wanting to be away or out of your hold as others approached and rushed to get me into the infirmary for checkups.
It was only when I was lying on the infirmary bed that it hit me like a train that lost control. A large proportion of why I fought so hard was to come back to you. You’re my best friend, Y/N, and my place of solace and peace. Then came the realization that I was in love with you. I remember everybody else’s voice drowning out as I focused on that thought. It was strangely calming, as if my heart had known all along but was waiting for my head to catch up. Then I remember just smiling as I looked at the ceiling, unafraid of the new feeling.
Last year, the day we went on a quest together lapsed with Valentine’s Day. Every moment felt extra sweet. Us sitting on the train, staring outside the window together like a couple going on a trip. My mind savoured the small things like you falling asleep on my shoulder with my coat around you and us holding hands as we walked through the crowd to not get lost among couples - which I like to imagine that others had thought we were one as well. It was the first time I allowed myself to pretend this is how it would feel like if you were mine and how our lives together would be if we were not Demigods.
I thought for sure you would have realized something by the way I was staring and acting around you that I was irrevocably in love with you. After reading your letters, I realized that you did see it. But you refused to believe that I could ever be in love with you. Well, I hope my letters will reverse all your doubts, because Y/N, it is so easy to fall in love with you. 
In fact, the world I built up in my head during last year’s quest had consumed my thoughts enough to make me frown at the idea of returning to camp, where it would not just be the two of us anymore. Loving you has never been something I was afraid of. Loving you has been an honour every single day, even if you never knew of it. 
It’s also somewhat funny that I was heavily lovesick while you were lovelorn. But I promise, Y/N, that from this second on, I intend to make you know that you are loved and that I am so deeply in love with you.
Again, I never intended for you to wait for three days, but I ended up throwing away every letter I started because I felt like none had suffice. I didn’t want to mess it up and give you something less than you deserved. I wanted to do something nice for you. I promise I’ll make it up for those three days if you allow me to. But one chance is all I need.
If you are willing to give me that chance, you know where to find me.
Sincerely,
Luke Castellan’
Upon reading his last words, you immediately left your cabin with the letter in hand. You jogged to the spot where the two of you would always meet to stargaze together. Almost instantly, you saw his tall figure under the moonlight. As if he could sense your presence, the Hermes boy turned around and gave you a sweet smile.
“You meant it?” you asked as you raised the letter up, slowly approaching him.
“Every single word, including all the unspoken ones I intend on telling you from now on,” the way he said it felt like he was swearing it on his own heart. “In fact, I would have written more down, but I knew I was keeping you waiting for too long,” he explained as you stopped right before him.
Something about this moment felt cathartic. Three years of dancing around unspoken words and yearning led to this moment. Luke grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckle. You peered up at him, and it was then that you finally accepted what his looks meant: he was in love with you, and there was no doubt about that. There was no more denial on your end that Luke Castellan was enamored with you.
“Will you let me be your poet, Y/N?” he breathlessly referenced the words you and him had both previously written like he had been waiting for this for a lifetime.
“Of course,” you answered almost without hesitation, watching his eyes soften even more, if possible.
“Is it ok if I ask you another question?” he asked again, his other hand caressing your cheek.
“Yeah?” Your face flushed as you saw his brown eyes dart to your lips.
“Can I kiss you?”
This time, you didn’t say anything. You’ve written down way too many words in the past three years. You decided actions would speak louder in this case. So you pulled Luke down by his camp necklace, hands gripping the beads on it as you tiptoed up to reach his lips. 
Luke physically melted as he brought one hand to your waist to hold you up as he leaned down from the height difference. Everything Luke had imagined before could not match the kiss he was finally sharing with you - the kiss that seemed to seal his lips into a spell that would forever leave them unable to belong to anyone else. It felt like heaven and hell combined because he knew that this was going to ruin him forever, and every second he spent with his eyes shut would be one where he had this feeling and moment sown behind his eyelids. 
You had the same line of thoughts. The wait was long, but you felt like it was worth it. Under the stars, you may feel small. But standing there next to Luke, you finally realize it doesn’t matter. Because he was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered.
You were his sun, moon, and everything in between - no constellations could ever measure to you.
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darling-flora · 2 months ago
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Everybody Here Wants You
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fc: bella hadid
joe burrow x yn model (bella hadid) x ex!paul mescal
Note: I feel like this is really long 😭 I had a little fun with it. Let me know what ya think !!! ❣❤❣
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TMZ
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TMZ Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n and actor Paul Mescal have SPLIT after 2 years of dating.
Though the pair were recently seen in Ohio around L/n's family farm, Y/n was reportedly trying to work through the problems but articles came out about Mescal having an affair, to which Y/n immediately broke off the relationship. Then only days after they called it quits Mescal was seen around London with director J.J. Abrams' daughter Gracie Abrams.
There have been rumors of Mescal and Abrams growing closer around the same time as the relationship of Y/n and Paul started to grow rocky, Mescal hasn't commented on the split but sources close to Y/n L/n have expressed that "Y/n was heartbroken but she was also getting tired of all the lies, she felt a bit insane but then she saw proof of an affair and it all started to click".
Although the actor hasn't commented on the break up, people close to the actor have and said "As soon as Y/n found out about him and Abrams, she didn't think twice about dumping him, and he immediately regretted ever meeting Gracie. He was and still is head over heels for Y/n which i think scared him so he did something stupid that Y/n will never forgive him for".
While Mescal has been seen around London with another girl, Y/n has been spending more time in Ohio on her family farm.
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username1 wait they were at her farm was like a month ago.... so they've been broken up for like a month ??
↳username2 yeah they haven't been seen together since then, and paul has been seen with gracie and they've gotten more and more public..... ↳username1 omg it took him like half a year to even say he was in a relationship with y/n when she was so openly in love, then for him to be this public with gracie like weeks into their "situationship" is crazy...
username3 omg tmz with all the details holy....
username4 not really the point but her family has a farm ??
↳username5 yeah they have a family farm and her stepdad owns an educational animal sanctuary that help's people learn about animals !! ↳username4 oh i had no clue, that's sick !!
username6 i feel so bad for y/n "she was also getting tired of all the lies, she felt a bit insane" like poor girl... 😕
username7 tmz were you in the room when they were breaking up ??? how do you know so much..?
↳username8 wouldn't be surpised if people close to her are "leaking" stuff, if he was having an affair i would tell reporters too 🤭
username9 "He was and still is head over heels for Y/n which i think scared him so he did something stupid that Y/n will never forgive him for" omfg he's such a man 😒
↳username10 he's always talked so highly of y/n only for him to CHEAT on her ?? ↳username11 at the end of the day he's just another man im afraid.....
username12 he regretted ever meeting gracie IS CRAZY like your holding her hand around london wishing you NEVER MET HER ??
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cincyanimalsanctuary
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cincyanimalsanctuary We had the pleasure of welcoming some of the member's of the Cincinnati Bengals to the sanctuary for a little team bonding before the start of the 2022 NFL preseason starts.
Huge thank you to all the staff and animal ambassadors for being so welcoming to our guests, as well as a thank you to yourinstagram for showing the team around !!
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username1 y/n looks so happy, im glad !!
bengals Thanks for opening the doors for us. Everyone had a blast !!
↳bengals Extra thanks to yourinstagram for showing us around 🧡 ↳yourinstagram It was an honor to get to know the team everyone was a delight, a day well spent !!! ↳joeyb_9 Thanks for the lesson on horseback riding !! ↳yourinstagram You were a natural 😉 ↳sam_hubbard_ Well.... let's not lie ↳yourinstagram He was a QUICK learner, maybe not a natural.... ↳joeyb_9 ??????? ↳yourinstagram sorry.... 🤭 ↳username2 this feels like flirting...🤨
username3 wait did they meet the cows and goats ? did everybody ride horses ?
↳cincyanimalsanctuary Yes ! Everybody got a chance to pet and feed all the animals and Y/n joined a few of the guys to teach them about riding horseback !!
username4 bro y/n does so many side quest
joeyb_9 it was a pleasure !! will definitely come back 👍
↳cincyanimalsanctuary The doors are always open !!
username5 y/n with an nfl player next 👀💭...
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yourinstagram
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Liked by joeyb_9, devonleecarlson and 4,959,944 others
yourinstagram ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣
Comments on this post have been limited.
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TMZ
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TMZ Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n and Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow seem to be serious ! The owner of Cincy Gym posted the two working out on the same day, only 2 months ago the two were spotted on a date and it appears the pair are still going strong.
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username1 YES !!! i was wondering if they were together
username2 i truly thought he has been in a relationship since college
↳username3 he was in a relationship from high school to college but she didn't wanna move back to ohio so they broke up
username4 qb in the gym 💪 LFG !!!
username5 this is so serious for me
username6 do we think she's going to games ???
↳username7 oh absolutely !!!! I CANT wait to see what she'll wear
username8 i have no one to talk to about this 😭
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yourinstagram
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Liked by joeyb_9, paulmescal and 4,959,944 others
yourinstagram me and blu woke up to a house full of flowers !!
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username1 girl why is p*ul in the likes ?????
joeyb_9 Mhm wonder how that happened 🤔
↳yourinstagram no clue.... 🤭 ↳username2 honestly love how unbothered they are ↳username3 they do NOT care that paul is liking her post 😭 ↳username4 we love a secure relationship 💅
username5 he wants her back so bad but she's moved on.... im laughing 🤭
devonleecarlson my girlfriend is so gorgeous! ❤️
↳joeyb_9 ???? ↳yourinstagram what....? ☺ ↳yourinstagram love ya devon !!!! ❣ ↳username6 the ???? IS KILLING ME 😭
username7 getting the love she deserves IKTR ! ! !
username8 hey paulmescal you miss her now that she's with someone else ? 😂
liked by paulmescal ↳username8 BRO YOU ARE NOT SLICK ↳username9 not him liking then un-liking 😭 ↳username10 he's with gr*cie why is he here ??? ↳username11 gr*cie def thinks it's more serious then he does, with the way she's been talking about being in a relationship recently😭
username12 you are so beautiful y/n 💕
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joeyb_9
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joeyb_9 Summer photo dump ! How did I do ?
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username1 soft launching y/n....
yourinstagram Solid 8/10 ☺
↳joeyb_9 I'll do better next time 🫡 ↳username2 wait why is this kinda.... 🫦
username3 Honestly a pretty good photo dump 🤷‍♀️
username4 little less joe and a little more y/n next time !! 😉👍
↳joeyb_9 I'll take this into consideration ✍ ↳username4 PLEASE ??? 😭☠ ↳username1 nevermind..... i guess it's a hard launch 😭
username5 y/n rating it a 8/10 when i feel like she helped him chose the pictures 😭
↳yourinstagram he had the final say i fear... ↳yourinstagram i insisted on the 3rd picture tho !! 😁
lahjay10_ We'll put some more work into the next photo dump 🤫
liked by joeyb_9
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TMZ
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TMZ Actor Paul Mescal breaks his silence on split with Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n, after Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow and L/n confirmed their romance.
When Mescal was asked about how he was doing, he hesitated before saying "I've been better" "It's been the most successful year of my life professionally but I've felt like sh*t the whole time" "I have no-one to blame but myself, for making dumb mistakes which I'll regret for the rest of my life" "It sounds really dramatic but it's true, I knew how good I had it, I was the happiest I've ever been and I was afraid of that, and I ruined the best part of my life, but now i have to learn from that mistake and grow".
Since the split Y/n L/n has talked a bit about the relationship and when asked about Mescal's statement L/n stated "I know my worth and I'm truly happier then I've ever been, being surrounded by my family and one's that I love and one's that show me love everyday; I almost forgot what that felt like".
What do you think ?
view all comments
username1 BRO we do not feel bad for you paul 😭😭 YOU cheated ???
username2 where is the y/n and joe pic from ????
↳username3 a friend of theirs posted it, i think it was from a birthday party !!
username4 paul you almost got me then i remembered y/n said "I was also getting tired of all the lies, I felt a bit insane" y/n may forget and forgive but I don't 🤬
username5 i mean just by the pics she looks happier with joe 🤷‍♀️
username6 she almost FORGOT WHAT LOVE FELT LIKE ???? paul when i catch you 👊👊
username7 omfg he is NOT being quite about how much he regrets losing y/n 😭
↳username8 he want's her back BAD
username9 he should've kept his silence
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joeyb_9
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joeyb_9 Play Everybody Here Wants You by Jeff Buckley & go buy Orebella !!
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username1 wait im gagged
username2 joe said f^ck paul and his statement
yourinstagram Love that song !! & i love you 😉❤
↳joeyb_9 Love you bby ❤😍 ↳username3 i bet she makes him giggle... ↳username4 ????? ↳username3 idk i just feel like she makes him kick his feet while giggling and blushing 😭 ↳lahjay10_ she does.... TRUST me ↳yourinstagram PLEASE ??? 😭☠ ↳lahjay10_ it's true ↳yourinstagram oh i know 🤭 ↳username5 STOP I LOVE THEM !!!
username6 joe won at life 😍
username7 PLAY EVRYBODY HERE WANTS YOU AFTER PAUL HAS BEEN LIKING HER POSTS ???? joe burrow you have moved me
username8 he really said that's MY girl
sam_hubbard_ 💪🤠
liked by joeyb_9
username9 "I know everybody here thinks he needs you, I'll be waiting right here just to show you, How our love will blow it all away" who knew joe was a lover boy ??
username10 finally a man that show's y/n off
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yourinstagram
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yourinstagram Im still in shock over the turn out of our first day of orebella thank you everyone for your love and kind words; it means the world to me. I can’t thank my team at orebella , my family , friends and loved ones enough for the support, time, passion and love they put into me and the Orebella launch. Orebella is a dream come true, it feels unreal to think this is reality. Thank you to everyone involved. I couldn’t have done this without you🤍
view all comments
username1 take y/n's happiness double it and give it back to her 🫂
joeyb_9 Congratulations to you my girl, i love you !! I'm endlessly proud of you ❤
↳yourinstagram love you handsome ❤ ↳username2 oh i need a man so bad ↳username3 "my girl" 😭���
arianagrande So well deserved !! Love you !!!!! 🤍
↳yourinstagram thank you sm ari !!! 💞
username4 need HIM out of the likes....
↳yourinstagram no need to stress about it, im happy !! ↳username5 mother taking the high road iktr !!
username6 the people's princess !! ❤👑
devonleecarlson so proud of u 😙❤
↳yourinstagram ❤ ty ty ty ❤
username7 happy y/n is the best y/n !!!
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yourinstagram
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yourinstagram Summer is over, time for 🏈 szn !!
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username1 summer has been over for a minute im afraid...
↳yourinstagram i forgot to post these pictures 😩
username2 what's it like to always serve 💅 ??
joeyb_9 Ugh that food was so good
↳yourinstagram we'll have to go back 😉🤞 ↳joeyb_9 also your cute 😍 ↳yourinstagram says you...😘 ↳username3 CON😭😭 GRA😭😭TULA😭😭 TIONS ↳username3 that should be me with y/n 😔
username4 the last pic !! they look so cute 🥺
devonleecarlson PRETTY GIRL LOVE YOU !!!!!!
username5 YAYYY i hope i get to meet you at a game !!!
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yourinstagram story
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nfl
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nfl Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n has arrived at MetLife Stadium for week 3, the Cincinnati Bengals at New York Jets game.
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username1 who is she rooting for ?
↳username2 bengals, she's dating joe burrow
username3 who asked ?????
username4 they are 0-2 if the bengals win this game i need her at every game 🙏
bengals Our favorite cowgirl !! 🤠
username5 so joe has extra motivation to win ? im sold
username6 we don't gaf
username7 i'll admit she's a pretty girl
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yourinstagram
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yourinstagram 🐅 27-12 !!
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joeyb_9 Prettiest lucky charm ⭐
↳yourinstagram 😚🫶 ↳username1 bros whipped ↳username2 ??? it's y/n if i were him i'd be more whipped then he seems
username1 her influence is crazyyyyy b/c why did i, who knows nothing about football watch this game??? anyways go Bengals !!
username2 MOTHER TO ALL !!!!
username5 IT WAS NICE TO MET YOU !!!!! AHHHHHH
↳yourinstagram Nice to meet you too !! I hope your studies go well ❣ ↳username4 you are so lucky !!!!! what was she like ?? ↳username5 she was so sweet !!! i gave her a few bracelets i made, her favorite was one with the number 9 😭❤
devonleecarlson You looked so pretty on my tv 🤭❤
↳yourinstagram You are too sweet 😘!!!!!
username6 Y/n at a game is a cause for celebration !!
username3 first win of the season and y/n is there ? we need you at every game PLEASE 🙏 !!!
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517 notes · View notes
kaiyunsim · 16 days ago
Text
In between sets —
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pairing : idol!anton x male!reader
summary : after recently coming back to the gym, you are a bit rusty and forget what to do. luckily, the only other person who goes is willing to help.
warnings : SMUT!! (dni minors), unprotected sex, kinda dacryphillia, sex in a public setting, sex while hiding, (provably more but idk, pls lmk if i should add more)
a/n : THESE ANTON PHOTOS GOT ME FEELING REALLY H***Y !!! also first smut so lmk how it is and maybe i’ll do more
part 1 — part 2
— (w/c : 2.7k) — not proof read — minors dni —
anton had a routine. 3-4 times a week. early mornings before practice. sometimes he would have a gym buddy which was normally sungchan, wonbin, or eunseok but this time he decided to go solo.
he always has airpods in, keeping his mind in check by playing some music. he a was used to seeing the usuals, especially since the gym is almost always empty in the early mornings but was somewhat surprised to see someone new, someone he hasn’t seen before.
the newbie seemed to be fumbling their way through the weights section, looking moody along the rows of equipment. anton couldn’t help but notice him, it was quite a cute sight to see. they weren’t decked out in typical gymwear, instead, opting for a loose hoodie and sweats. their hair was slightly disheveled, looking as if they didn’t intend on coming today but decided to give it a try anyway.
by the end of his set, anton glanced over and noticed they were staring over at a dumbbell with what seemed like frustration or confusion. it was almost endearing. with a smirk, anton walks over.
“hey,” anton starts, pulling out one of his airpods. “you new here?”
you blink to look up to him, somewhat startled, you didn’t really notice him, “uh, yeah. just…trying to get back into shape,” you say, scratching the back of your head with a shy grin. “i’m y/n”
“oh, um… i think so. i used to work out, like, two years ago? but i kind of forgot what i was doing.” you laugh, clearly a little embarrassed, and anton found himself chuckling too.
“don’t worry about it,” anton said, leaning in a little closer. “why don’t we start with something simple? i’ll spot you.”
they moved to the bench press, anton demonstrating the proper grip and form as you listened intently. anton couldn't help but notice the way your eyes lingered, just a little too long, whenever he showed you a move. you would look and keep eye contact but it would wander to view the visible muscles you can see on anton’s arms. every time he reached in to help adjust your grip or stance, he noticed a brief flicker in your gaze, almost like he was wondering if the proximity was intentional. anton found himself leaning in just a touch closer each time.
as they finished up, anton noticed that you seemed more relaxed, even playful. you lightly punched anton's shoulder as they headed to the water fountain, giving him a grin. “thanks, man. i feel like i’m getting my gym routine back”
“no problem,” anton replied, feeling a heat rise as your eyes met his, this time lingering. "you know, i don’t mind helping out… if you need someone to keep you motivated.”
you pause, then smile, his eyes narrowing slightly with a glint of interest. you found anton attractive, plus it was a gym buddy that could help you get in shape, “how about tomorrow, same time?”
“deal.” anton’s heart raced as they exchanged numbers, both a little reluctant to say goodbye.
╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴
the next morning, anton is already warmed up and stretching, tired due to having practices after his session yesterday, when he spots a familiar face coming in. today, your hoodie is swapped for a fitted t-shirt, showing more of your lean frame. anton can’t help but notice, a small blush playing on his face along with a smirk. you seems a little more confident, giving anton a nod and a smile as he heads over.
there was a change of focus today, instead of looking to work on arms, it was a day for the legs. anton guided you to the part where you squat with weights to improve your legs. trying nudge you to push yourself, anton adds more weights than you normally do so that he can spot you but as he does so you notice his eyes wandering up and down, smirk and all.
as they go through their workout, the tension between them feels more palpable than ever. you guys are talking and joking, but the physical closeness during spotting, the occasional brush of hands, and lingering eye contact hint at something more.
anton was almost certain you were flexing your muscles a bit when you caught anton watching, and anton found himself lingering longer than he usually would when spotting him.
after a few exercises, they move to the bench press again. you lay down, and anton stepped into position to spot him, standing right above him. their eyes met, and for a second, neither of them said anything. your eyes wander to his lower half before looking away and coughing hoping he didn’t notice. you start breathing a little heavier than you should have been, your gaze locked on anton’s, and the air felt thick.
anton finally broke the silence, his voice low. “you’ve got this. focus on your breathing.”
but you weren’t focused on your breathing. you barely even heard the words as anton leaned closer, hands hovering over yours, fingers just inches from touching. you could feel the heat radiating from him, and you couldn’t resist any longer. as you sit up after his last rep, you decide to stay close, closer than necessary, your knee brushing against anton’s leg.
finally, as they’re finishing up, they take a moment to rest on one of the benches near the locker rooms. you lean back, catching your breath, and give anton a sly look.
“you make this a lot more fun than i expected,” you say, your eyes glinting. “not sure i’d be so motivated without you.”
anton chuckles, feeling bold. “maybe we should work on some, uh, cool-down stretches together,” he suggests, half-joking but hoping his fellow gym goer catches the hint.
“maybe i should… uh, grab a shower after this,” you say, his voice barely a whisper. “you wanna join me?” you joke playfully.
anton didn’t hesitate. he made his way to the locker room, the silence charged with anticipation. the sound of water echoed through the empty space as he stripped off his sweaty top.
you immediately blush, and he could see your reaction. now you remain at a loss of words at the sight of anton’s body. fuck… it wasn’t the most built but he had some meat and muscle. “a-anton… i was joking” you try clear up, trying to drag him out of the locker rooms.
“well, i’m going to pretend that you weren’t” anton says, almost with a different, more teasing, energy. he tries to close the gap between them, enjoying the squirming you do when he does so.
he pushed you down on to a bench, “you don’t think i never saw you staring right?” he said playfully. his arms placed on both of your shoulders keeping you still.
your eyes widen, feeling the weight of anton makes you squirm slightly. you remain quiet, not able to form a sentence coherently in the current situation you are in.
anton kept that sly ass smirk, “why don’t you take this off?” he teases, playing with the hem of your shirt.
he was really pushing your buttons now. but you know that there was no one else in the gym because it was so early so…
fuck it.
(smut starts here)
you knew what anton was implying so you decided to catch him off guard and make the first move. you quickly close the gap between the two of you, lips colliding. your lips parted along with antons, and like that, the tension finally snaps.
their kiss was slow at first, you wanted it to be careful of course, but anton quickly takes control and it becomes more intense, fuled with the excitement building up throughout the days.
your hands find themselves on anton’s chest, fingers tracing the ridges and lines of his muscles, long with squeezing his pecs, feeling it out, almost as if you are trying to memorize them. anton’s hands find their way down to your waist, enjoying how their bodies fit perfectly.
you break the kiss to catch your breath, looking rugged and already worked up. anton sees you like this and brings back the smug smirk, with a hint of desire behind it, “you look so fucking cute right now,” he says, ruffling you rough hair while staring into your half-lidded eyes.
your usual shyness was softened by the confidence that had come from finally breaking the tension, you resch up, hand sliding to the back oh anton’s neck, and pulls him in for another kiss, slower this time to savor the moment.
anton’s hands move from over the fabric, to the shin of your waist, show removing your shirt to see your body for himself. “yknow,” anton says, running a finger along your jawline, “i don’t normally do this with gym buddies”
you undo the belt buckle to signal that your waiting for from anton, “nice to know im special” you let his pants drop seeing a bulge in his underwear. “someone wants to say hello,” kai says playfully.
anton’s smirk looks like it’s derived from something primal, “in the gym space? you’re something else” he says, giving a quick search of anyone else before pulling out his cock.
it was something else, nothing too big, but something that definitly match his body. you guys switch positions, anton sitting on the bench and you on the floor on your knees, appreciating the sight in front of you. your gaze didn’t last too long as you quickly took the head in.
his legs spread further, giving you easier access to what you want. “god… fuck…” it’s been forever since anton was able to do something like this as he is an idol. but since it was at a time where no one was around it was almost perfect for anton.
you take it deeper and deeper, bobbing up and down, keeping a steady, not so fast, pace before you feel a force from the back of your head. it was anton’s hand, pushing down further and faster. you start to gag, it was too much for you, but anton liked that. some tears started to stream and everything was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen
“yeah, you like that?” he says with a smirk, lifting his hand from you neck to let you catch your breath. you soon pop off your motch fron his dick, heavily breathing as your vision started to get blurry.
without letting you recover, anton picks you up and places you on the bench, stripping your bottom half while doing so. now that both of you are without clothes, anton can give you some attention.
his hand runs along your thighs, eventually reaching your shaft, nice and hard. “mind if i play with this?” he asks. you give him a nod, still catching your breath.
he takes it and starts stroking it, making you react with whimpering and squirming. it was the feeling of recovery and that sumg ass smirk he kept on his face as he looks you down as he strokes you.
some moans started to leave your mouth as he stroked faster and faster, “a-anton… t-thats too much…”
“c’mon, you dont have to call me anton, what about toni? my friends call me that sometimes,” he teases you verbally, while also teasing you physically, slowing his pace on your shaft.
“t-toni…” you whimper, “i think we shouldn-“ you say before you get cut off by anton’s sneaky lips.
“that’s enough,” he says, letting go of your shaft, making you needy as he leaves you with no stimulation. you sit there, looking like an absolute mess on one of the workout benches and anton takes a step back to admire how you look.
he then spreads your legs which makes you react with surprise, “w-wait,” you retort but before you could say anymore you feel antons cock enter you.
you thought he would start off slow but it was the opposite, thrusting into you with what seemed like no other thoughts. it was probably because of how you looked like how messed up he made you already.
it was so big inside you, hitting your prostate everytime, making you a moaning mess. it was good, making your eyes roll up and back arch for better angles.
he enjoyed the warmth inside you, after being a trainee he hasn’t been able to have anything like this so his body reactes well to your warmth and tightness.
though you guys were making lots of noise you were able to hear the chime that happens when the front door opens. panicked, anton picks you up,dick still in you, and brings you to the shower room.
you’re able to hear a voice, “anton are you here? manager’s looking for you,” you arent able to distingust the voice but anton can, it was eunseok, one of his hyungs he goes to the gym with.
anton likes the sense of thrill that comes from the situation happening right now, he puts you on a shelf and smirks, hoping you get the message with whats going to happen.
he turns on the shower to cause some noise in the bathroom before starting to thrust into you again, softer this time but more calculated to a reaction from you. and it definitely did. you closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sensation. you opened your mouth to make a noise but anton covered it with his hand, “can’t have the other person know what’s happening can we?” he whispers playfully. he liked seeing you like this, recuded to a mes because of him, yet not able to express it.
“yeah eunseok, i’m just showering,” he replied, sounding normal. in reality he looked as rough and sweatt as ever.
“well, hurry up, you have an early schedule today” eunseok reminded before the same chime played, indicating he left.
anton finally lets go of your mouth, letting your whimpers and moans out only to be silenced again by his mouth meeting yours.
“god damn, just hearing you makes me wanna cum,” anton groans, head tilting back.
“y-you should…” you manage to get out between the noises he makes you make.
just by hearing that anton’s pace quickens, “fuck, you asked for it,” he says, riding his climax out, letting his fluids leak into you. he knows you’re close but haven’t came yet so he tries to put all his attention to you.
anton keeps his semi hard cock in you, slow pace just to let you enjoy, practiaclly for cockwarming. he knows you can’t cum with just him moving slowly so he grasps your shaft and starts stroking it while also putting attention to your nipples with his mouth.
anton takes his mouth off for a moment “you like that? my cock in you while you’re a moaning mess?” anton teases,
if your were moaning before, you’re fucking crying from pleasure now. it was so much happening and anton knew what he was doing to you.
he takes your hand and places it in his own pecs and lets your feel him out. as you feel everything happen all at the same time it’s only inevitable that you would reach your climax.
“toni..!” you moan the other man’s name loudly, “i-i’m gonna cum!” you scream.
you feel a large sense of euphoria while white stings of cum come out of your cock, landing on anton’s and your chest and abs. anton finally takes out his cock from your ass.
“f-fuck,” you say, recovering from the high dooamine sensation.
“let’s get you cleaned up,” he says as you both clean up from the sensual encounter you guys had. anton lets you shower but he doesn’t because he’s in a hurry as eubseok was waiting for him.
you guys both leave the locker room and you finally get to see the face of the mysterious voice. you bow to eunseok before saying bye to anton.
“why are your workout clothes on the bench?” eunseok questions while they both exit.
“oh erm,” anton stutters, trying to come up with an excuse, “i was just really sweaty,” he replies, obviously lying
“and why is your hair dry? i thought you just showered?” eunseok questioned further,
and just like that, anton knew he was fucked.
286 notes · View notes
astrologicalsstuff · 2 months ago
Text
Obsession synastry
These are just aspects I’ve experienced where either they or I or both became obsessed
I have Pluto in the 8th house natally idk if that makes a difference for some of these, I’m pretty naturally intense I guess.
Venus in the first house
As the Venus person I’ve had this with the two people who absolutely rocked my world. I thought these people were the most beautiful people I have ever seen and idolized them. They were so beautiful to me and I told everyone about them
Planets in the 12th
I have a stellium of four planets and I can’t really tell you exactly how each one acts
Mercury: MISCOMMUNICATION I swear this person would ask me one thing and I would hear something entirely different. Sometimes I would also be too shy to respond, I did a lot of drugs with these people. Also I got so much information about these people randomly. I’d have dreams that told me things, I’d cry randomly. Strangers told me things about him that I didn’t know, and later revealed his name. I knew so much about these people from other sources randomly. One time we ended and I ended up with a group of his friends I didn’t know we’re his friends and they just kept talking about him and then they said his name and I was like…. Honestly I had such a hard time communicating with these people and I felt like they really wanted me to. I honestly feel like theses people are still kinda waiting on an explication from me. It’s just so hard. I kept getting in my head thinking they couldn’t possibly know and yet they made every effort to help me feel comfortable sharing but I didn’t know how. And with these people there’s always something getting in the way. Like no service, or his parents would come in the room and take away his phone. I blocked these people a lot.
Mars:… yeah it’s true. This guy was my first I thought we were soulmates I was confused lol. I also talk hella shit about these people (some of them) because they did me so dirty. There’s so much build up over time here. Like did they understand me. Will they ever get how I feel.
Jupiter: let down Fr without other good synastry. This placement gives you a spiritual assistance. There’s a greater force on your side helping this relationship. I met this guy once and I thought about him all the time for a year. We ended up meeting again and he was really into me too. EVERYTHING WAS FATED we ran into eachother everywhere, he happened to be next door neighbors with two of my best friends (his parent were divorced). I thought we had no real mutuals turns out we were in a really big friend group. ALL OF HIS FRIENDS WERE FRIENDS WITH AT LEAST ONE OF MINE.
Sun: I don’t know if they ever really saw me. Well I know that’s not true but I think they truly were surprised by some qualities about me or just don’t understand. I also feel like I can see through these people so easily. Honestly this placement felt less like confusion for me and more like lucidity. Like I understand you eventhough your not telling me in a way that makes sense. Drugs. The one that got away. But they’re back? Feels like a forever kinda thing. Disappear cold turkey and run into eachothers years later. Honestly I was faking it with these people a bit. Wouldn’t let them know the real me.
8th house synastry (cancer, Leo, sag)
Man if you think it’s done it’s not done till it gets bad
I have Venus conjunct moon and a stellium with
Venus: oh man I thought I was obsessed but I think it was him (he had natal mars not really conjunct though) and we were in a weird polyamory situation. I was like so obsessed with him. I always thought about him(sexually) and he really went the extra mile for me. Yeah I was a bit possessive but he had his mars in my friends 8th and she was so much more possessive. She even said to me “he’s mine” he sure as hell was not hers. I also have my Venus and mom on in her 8th and she still texts me even though I stopped talking to her like 2 years ago. They both do. He made new numbers and always found ways to reappear. I don’t know if it’s sexual as much as seductive. When I have Venus in peoples 8th house we always end up in something sexual even if we’re not into eachother.
Moon: pretty emotional, these relationships feel so natural for me, honestly the house person is more affected I think. Like the house person has never met someone like this before, never experienced these things.
Pluto: This is a generational one so it has to be a really really close orb like 1-2 degrees with other things going on honestly
I had this with a guy and it made me think astrology is more than just planets and gravity. Like being around this guy…. I felt all the Pluto/8th house elements. I was so entranced by the eye contact and the physical touch. I started off not knowing this guy but he knew me and I was so mad about something but then I was so turned on and I told him I wanted to wait but the sexual tension made me angry so I went off on him. After that I couldn’t stand myself he was so nice to me (8th house) and I didn’t even have control over myself. I would never use astrology to justify actions so I went to therapy and began to really work on my triggers but I didn’t forget him. And I thought for sure he would not be into me after that interaction, justifiably, but right when I gave up on ever talking to him again he messaged me. I… stalked him for months on Instagram we didn’t even follow each other and he posted all these things about his loyalty and lowkey stuff we talked about in those 2 hours we met and I thought there’s no way they could be about me so I thought he moved on but I guess he didn’t. I have no idea who’s obsessed I know I am but I’m thinking maybe he is in another way. Definitely taboo. I have all these secrets I’m keeping from him too. Like I don’t know this guy and all we have is history (my south node is in the 8th). I think the whole premise is intensity and possessiveness and I don’t know where it comes from cause I don’t know this guy. Pluto conjunct 8th is literally our crazies coming together I guess. House person feels it more id have to guess though. I could literally go in about this brief encounter for forever.
South node contacts always
208 notes · View notes
jammiee097 · 4 months ago
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Can't stay away
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Warnings: Inexperienced jeongin x reader, boyfr!end chan x reader, threesome, jerking, sucking dick, fucking rough, d0ggy style, Desperate reader, let me know if I forgot some 🙈
Enjoy!! <3
This whole day I had been craving for my boyfriend.. We have been going out for a year now, our anniversary has been 2 days ago and I still can't get enough of him.
He is the sweetest guy I had ever met and I fell inlove with him immediately.. And I still do, I still fall in love with him if he comes home with a bunch of flowers, or when he takes me out for dinner and he acts like im the fucking princess.
but also when we're having sex I still fall in love with him. The way his eyes get big everytime I put on a new set. Or the way he looks at me, litteral hearts in his eyes when he sees how I love feeling him inside of me. Or the raw look he has when he can cum inside of me, the moans he makes when I suck him off. It's just everything.
This all made me more desperate for him. So I decided to text him.
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I know I should just let him work, but at this point I even want to fuck his roommate so desperate I am. But that would be considered cheating, something I really don't like.
He texted me 5 minutes later that he was almost home and before I knew it. He was standing the doorframe of his bedroom. I layed there in my shorts that were a little too small, cause you could see my ass teasing everyone's eyes. As a top I wore just my Bra. The black one with lacy see through he liked.
'Fuck yeah.' He says and puts off his shirt, his abs slightly showing. I giggle a little. He crawls over the bed and places himself between my legs, his hands on my waist and my hands get placed automatically on his cheeks, kissing him directly. Our lips touching making me shiver a little, his lips are so soft, feeling so much like home. It makes me smile into the kiss, he smiles too. 'You're to cute.' He says on his way to my neck.
Little moans escape my mouth when his lips were finally placed on my neck. He rises up to my ear. 'I'm gonna make you feel so good baby.' He whispers into my ear, I smile. He nibbles a little on my ear. 'You would like that mhm?' He whispers again. I nod and mumble 'Yes'. He teases me a little by just breathing in my neck. 'What do you want baby..' He says. 'You..' I say and look him in his eyes.
'Good girl..' He says and squeezes one of my tits. He sucks on the skin softly, making light hickeys. He licks my whole stomach and then sloppy kisses. I moan softly of the sensation. 'Let's get these off mhm?' He says and slowly removes my shorts.. 'Good girl making it easy for me, could just slip inside of you, not wearing any panties.' He says and licks his lips. 'Do you want me to eat you out baby..' He says his voice sounding like a tease.
'No, I want your dick baby, feel how wet I am.' I say and puts his hand on my cunt. His hand feeling a bit cold making me shiver a little, His finger moving over my clit horribly slow. 'Alright if that's what you want..' He says and pulls his already hard dick out of his pants. He positions himself on my entrance, teasing me with his tip. When he finally gives in we both moan out, feeling euphoric. 'Fuck baby, I got hard the minute you sent me that text.' He whispers again, making my walls clunch a little. 'Your so tight, so fucking thight.' He moaned out slowly going in and out of me.
He fasthened his pace by grapping my waist and pushing himself faster and deeper inside of me. Making me moan louder and more desperate, My orgasm building up. We both moan at the sound of our skin getting together.
'Fuck, Im gonna cum baby..' I moan out. He smirks and goes slower. 'Not yet baby.' He pulls out and lets me lay on the bed. He puts on his pants and walks out of the room. 'Hey, what the-' I say and before I know it he is gone, out of his room.
Not 2 minutes later he comes back. I smile, 'Finally, where did you..' I look at the second person coming in. Jeongin. His roommate. 'uhh.. what's going on?' I ask, trying to cover my body with the blanket.
'Oh nothing, He's just gonna give you a good time while I watch.' He says, they both smirk. Jeongin puts off his shirt. 'Jeez Jeongin, since when did you get ripped like that?' I ask. He comes to me slowly. 'Since I started training with that boyfriend of yours..' He says, removing his shorts and boxers. 'This is a one time thing alright..' I say. 'Turn around baby, let him fuck you trust me.' Chan says and jerks off. I turn around, putting my ass up in the air while chan sits against the bedhead pulling me against him. I put my hands on his waist, as jeongin puts his hands on mine.
I attack chan his stomach with kisses, lots of them. making them whimper a little, his hands going through my hair. In the mean time, I can feel Jeongin putting himself close to my entrance. He fills me up, going slowly in and out of me. I moan a little as his dick streches me out. I do not wanna admit it, but I can feel that his dick is a little longer than Chan's.
My head goes up to chan's lips, kissing them while my hands are placed on his abs. The kiss with chan feels good, So good that I stopped moaning because of how slow jeongin was going. Chan stops kissing me. 'Dude, what are you doing?' He says and looks at him. 'Idk..' He says and stops. 'Just go a bit harder, have you really only fucked one girl or something..' Chan says. 'What noo..' jeongin says and fills me up again. I giggle a little.
Chan gets my chin. 'Just pount into her? how hard is it?' He says before kissing me again. 'You know I really don't care.. It's okay.' I whisper to chan. 'No, I arranged this for you, for your pleasure..' He whispers back, but before I could say something back Jeongin starts pounding inside of me. His dick long and deep enough that he touches my G-spot everytime he thrusts into me.
He starts picking up my waist into the air, pounding and pushing himself into me. 'Shit I.N..' I moan out, unable to kiss chan back. 'Mhmm That's a good girl.' Chan says holding my chin. All I do is moan into chan his stomach. 'Fuck, I- I don't know if I can take this any longer. This pussy is so fucking nice..' Jeongin moans and slows down a bit. The orgam started building up again, this time bigger because of the edge.
'I'm, I'm close..' I moan out. 'Fuck..' Jeongin says and goes harder again, getting his confidence back. 'Arggh Fuck!' I scream out loud, legs shaking a little bit. Chan kisses me again. 'Such a good girl..' He says. I smile a little. Jeongin pulls out, I wanted to turn around ask what was happening but he stopped me by slapping my ass. 'Hell nah, wanna cum on that pretty ass..' He says and starts jerking off, by his moans I could know that he was close.
'You really not want me to suck that pretty cum out of your dick?' I ask. His eyes turn bigger. 'If you want too?' He says and I turn around. on my hands and knees I take his dick into my mouth, licking it from his balls to his tip, taking him in one slide into my mouth. 'Shit, your mouth is warm..' He moans out. I start going deep down on him, using my tongue to swirl around his dick while using my mouth. sucking all the air out, making my mouth feel like a tight fucking pussy.
'I'm so jealous of chan. Argh I want this too..' He moans. 'Im close..' He adds to it. I suck him deeper and harder wanting his seed. 'Fuck, Fuck Fuck!!' He loudly moans and fills my mouth up with his cum.
I take him out of my mouth and laugh a little, spilling a little bit of cum out of my mouth. 'Oops..' I say and make myself clean with my fingers, sucking on them making him gasp.
Jeongin puts his pants on again and claps Chan his hand. 'Put your clothes on.' Chan commands. I put them on again and cuddle up against him. 'Why was that baby?' I ask and look at him.
'I just came up with the idea? You didn't like it, Im sorry If I pushed your or something. it was just something to spice up?' He says, instantly worried. I giggle and kiss him. 'No baby, I liked it. But just so you know, You're already spiced enough for me.' I laugh. He tips my nose and kisses me again.
Boy I love this guy..
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katnisspeetaprim · 1 year ago
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Always, Us (Suchwita)
Min Yoongi/FemIdol!Reader Requests open!
Warnings: Established relationship, discussion of pregnancy and marriage, idol!au
Word Count: 1506 M.list
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‘Today on suchwita, we have someone people have wanted for a long while.’ Yoongi addressed the cameras as you stood at the side, excitedly waiting for your cue. Since Yoongi started his show, fans had wanted you to make an appearance, but there was never a good enough reason for you to appear until now. You don’t know if the reason fans wanted you here because they genuinely liked you, or if they just wanted to be nosey about your relationship now that it was public. Either way, you were happy to do this for Yoongi.
‘It’s Y/N of the group Prima.’ He stood from his seat and welcomed you with a bow, before pulling your chair out for you. You feigned shock as you sat down.
‘This is how you know cameras are around. He’s acting like a gentleman.’
‘YAH! Don’t say that!’ He snorted with a laugh as he sat down opposite you. ‘I’m always kind.’
‘Sure if you say so.’
‘I’m sure you noticed I got your favourite alcohol here. I’ll keep it for myself if you carry on.’ He smirked, gesturing to the various colourful bottles on the table.
‘You wanna play that game?’  You challenged, leaning forwards with a smirk to match his own. Yoongi relented, leaning back and waving his hands with a smile.
‘Ok, we’re getting off topic and we haven’t even started yet.’ You also relaxed, but you knew you had won that round.
‘As I was aying, this is your favourite. Let me pour you a glass.’ You held out your glass and thanked him as he poured.
‘People have been curious about us since we went public right?’ You asked, getting right into why you were there.
‘Yes.’ He agreed, drinking from his own glass. ‘How did it feel for you to finally be open after having to hide it for so long?’ Yoongi had given you a brief run down of the kind of questions that would be asked the night before, so that you could prepare, though you didn’t want to just write and memorise a script, especially when it came to your love life. You wanted your words to be as natural as possible.
‘It felt good to not have to sneak around. I know you were relieved too.’ Yoongi nodded in agreement.
‘It made me feel like we were a couple of horny teenagers sneaking out at night.’ He laughed.
‘Oh yeah you’re right! But looking back I don’t know why we hid it so long. People have been shipping us since we first met pretty much.’ You smiled warmly, thinking back to when you posted a picture of yourself and a young trainee Yoongi onto your groups twitter account. Yoongi wasn’t well know back then, but your fans were curious about your connection to the young trainee.
‘Do you remember how we met?’ Yoongi asked, smoothly moving the conversation along. You didn’t answer right away. You looked down as a subtle blush spread across your cheeks as you thought of the memory.
‘Why are you blushing? Don’t get shy now!’ Yoongi laughed as he called you out.
‘Shut up.’ You mumbled, all in good fun.
‘Ok. I was late for rehearsal and I ended up barging into your guys room by accident.’ You cringe at that part. ‘ You all stared at me and I was so embarrassed, but you also offended me that day!!’ Yoongi raised his eyebrows questioningly. Had he really?
‘Yes!’ You exclaimed, making him a little nervous. ‘You didn’t know who I was! Even though I debuted like 2 years before that!’ Yoongi sighed in relief and rolled his eyes.
‘I told you before! I didn’t know many current groups back then! I was too busy trying to debut myself.’
‘Yeah, sure.’ You crossed your arms with a pout.
‘Why are you pressed about that still? It was over a decade ago!’
‘That’s not the point! I’m your senior so you should respect me!’ Yoongi choked out and exasperated laugh, before he addressed the crew.
‘do you see what I deal with on a daily basis?’
‘You see! This is what I mean.’ You laughed whilst gesturing towards him. ‘No respect...’ Yoongi shook his head, laughing at the interaction.
‘You know, my mom keeps asking me when we’re going to give her grand kids.’ You froze and internally cursed him for bringing up this topic. It’s not like you don’t want babies with him, it just never felt like the right time to try. Especially now with his military service coming up...
‘I always thought we’d try after your enlistment, but we never really discussed it....’ You confessed, feeling the energy of the room die slightly. You saw Yoongi’s eyes widen ever so slightly at your answer, but he covered it up by rubbing his face.
You weren’t lying when you said it hadn’t been talked about, so your answer definitely caught him off guard.
‘We also need to find time for a wedding.’ He played it off cooly, trying to move on with a joke. You frowned to yourself. His reaction was strange. This definitely needed more investigating.
The remainder of filming flew by. You’d managed to avoid any more awkwardness after that and put on a good show. You were fairly certain that part would be cut anyway. It may have been a little too personal to bring it up in that way in hindsight....
‘So, do you want to talk about what you said?’ Both you and Yoongi were sat in his car in the parking lot. You could get a lift from the company driver, but Yoongi proffered the freedom of being able to drive himself. ‘About having kids?’ He looked over to you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. Looking down at your hands in your lap, you began to speak.
��I meant what I said. I want kids with you, but I ... also don’t want to give up my career...’ You trailed off. He sucked in a breath at your words, but stayed silent. ‘I just said that about your enlistment because I didn’t know what else to say.’ You sniffled slightly, but you were determined to not get upset. Yoongi placed a comforting hand on your thigh and leaned across the console.
‘Hey. You won’t loose your career. You really think Bang PD would let you go after all these years?’ He spoke soothingly. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop a few tears escaping your eyes.
‘I know it’s stupid to think this way but-‘ Yoongi quickly shook his head.
‘Don’t talk like that. If you’re upset it’s not stupid, ok?’ He had now moved his hand to the back of your neck, rubbing calming circles into your skin. You slowly looked up at him to see him giving you a reassuring smile. You were unable to stop yourself from reaching up and pulling him into a hug, or as much as you could manage with the gear box between you.
‘I’m sorry I got upset.’ You mumbled into his neck. He craned his neck to place a kiss on the side of your head.
‘Nothing to be sorry for.’ You both stayed like that for a few relaxing moment as you calmed down. Pulling back, you wiped at your eyes before quickly pecking his lips.
‘We need to talk properly at some point, but right now I need you to take me home so I can stuff my face with ice cream.’ Yoongi broke out into his iconic gummy smile as he stared at you.
‘You must be feeling better if you can crack jokes. Now put your seatbelt on woman.’ Yoongi pulled out of the parking lot and started the journey home. You both sat in comfortable silence, only the sounds of the quiet radio played in the car. You thought back to the filming, when you suddenly remembered something he so casually said during the interview.
‘So...’ He glanced at you briefly, before looking back to the road. ‘What was that about a wedding?’  You smirked when he choked on his own spit and clearing his throat.
‘Ah yeah. That...’
‘You haven’t even proposed to me.’ You teased, hoping he might get a hint. Yoongi fully looked at you when he pulled up to a traffic light, smile tugging at his lips.
‘Do you want me to?’
‘I certainly wouldn’t be oppose to the idea!’ You both sent coy smiles to each other and that was that. Conversation over.’ The two of you didn’t need to get married to know you loved each other, but having said that...
And thus, a few weeks later, Korea woke to the news that you and Yoongi had secretly eloped and made your marriage official.
You had a lot of explaining to do to your parents, but you got out of it by promising that you would have a ‘proper’ ceremony at a later date. For now though, you were both content with how things were.
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gh0stsp1d3r · 11 months ago
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Hii!! Can you do a Wonka x Male!reader fic where reader owns a toy shop and makes toys? And Willy enters the toy shop and becomes friends with reader and then Willy would visit every now and then, and could it be like a slow burn? Thank you!
Toy shop
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
(should I make a part 2??)
A/N: omg i love this sm its so cute. s/n= shop name, also I have no clue how old noodle is but I’m gonna say like 12 just for the fic.
warnings: lots and lots of pining.. nothing rlly
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“Where would you say, is the best place to go for Noodle’s present?” Willy asked Abacus one day after closing. He decided to pack up early to go run some errands, like buying some things for his apartment and also for Noodle.
It was almost Noodle’s birthday, and Willy had been making her her favorite chocolates but he felt like she deserved more. Besides, he had more money now.
“Mm… I passed by this toyshop not so long ago, its on that street somewhere. You can’t miss it.” He pointed, Willy smiled and thanked him, and began to walk over.
Now he wasn’t too sure on what to get a young girl. He hadn’t thought of it until he entered the shop.
You were smiling and helping a family out, pointing to an aisle. Your eyes then landed on the door, an oddly dressed man walked towards you. You smiled and greeted him.
“Hi, welcome to S/N, how can I help you?” You asked him.
He looked at you and smiled back. “Hi, I’m terrible at gift picking, forgive me.” Willy said with a small laugh. “But I was wondering if you could help me try and find a gift for a little girl? A 12 year old girl, to be exact.” He for some reason felt himself getting nervous as he talked, he’s never felt that before.
“No worries, I would love to help.” You said with a smile, you looked to one of your employees and asked for them to fill in for you for just a second.
“Of course, sir.”
“This place is…” Willy started as you walked through the aisles with him.
“Huge? Yeah. It used to be some old restaurant. It took a while for me to fix it up but..” you shrugged.
“You’re the owner?” He asked you, turning his head to you now. You nodded.
“That’s amazing. Oh- I’m Willy, Wonka.” He held his hand out for you to shake, you shook it and just the feeling of your hands made him feel like he was floating.
“Y/n.” You paused, the name sounding familiar.
“Wait, you’re that new chocolate shop owner, right?”
“That’s me.” He said with a grin, tipping his hat.
“That’s amazing, I went actually the other day, and just the outside looks beautiful, and the inside is just.. wow.”
“Really? I’m glad you like it.”
“Yeah… so, uh, what does this girl like?”
“Not too sure. She’s been cooped up in work all her life, really. So I’m not sure she knows..”
“Working at 12?”
“It’s a.. long story. She hasn’t really been able to live a life.” He shrugged.
“Well, I think I have some ideas. We have dolls, tons of teddy bears, a lot of three wheeled bikes have been pretty popular as well. Like this one.” You gestured to one on display,
“Yeah. I think that’s perfect for her. How much is it?”
“5 sovereigns.” You responded, he thought for a moment and pulled out some.
“Only 5?” He was shocked, cheap for such a product.
You shrugged with a small smile. “I like to make sure that every kid has something they love.”
He smiled back at your thoughtfulness. He wished he had met someone like you when he was a kid.
You rang it up, and you both talked for a bit more after.
"It was nice to meet you, Y/n." he said with a smile.
"Nice to meet you as well, Willy."
And he could already tell this was not the last time he would be visiting your shop.
He visited one day after closing, and you had just closed up as well.
“Hey, Y/n!” He called your name, you turned around to see him running over to you.
“Willy?”
“The one and only.” He said with a small smile, and walked next to you. You both talking and laughing for a while, and he had asked to walk you home which you obviously said yes to.
The next time you both saw each other, he came into the store.
“Hey! So, did Noodle like it?” He had told you the name of his friend before.
“Hey! She loved it. She’s still learning, but you know..”
“I’m glad.” You said, looking into his eyes and felt yourself almost getting lost in them.
“What are you here for? Something else?” You questioned.
“Just wanted to talk.” He said, “you know, you’re a fun person to talk to.”
You quirked an eyebrow as you opened a door and motioned for him to come in behind the counter. You walked over to the break room and you both sat down.
“That’s a compliment I’ve never heard before.”
“It’s true.” He said, you laughed and shook your head to yourself.
“What?” He asked, laughing along.
“Nothing, nothing.” You waved it off, and you both smiled at each other for a while before one of your employees came up.
As she approached them, the woman stopped mid-sentence, feeling like she was interrupting something.
“Oh- yes?” You turned to her quickly, snapping out of it and feeling your cheeks heat up. Willy felt the same as his cheeks turned a shade of pink and he looked the other way, trying to hide his large smile.
“There’s a customer asking for you…”
You sighed. “I’ll be right there.”
He watched you, following you as you got up and over to the counter.
“Hello, what seems to be the problem?” You asked.
“They’re wondering if they can get this fixed. I told them we wouldn’t know how-“ your employee started.
The little girl held up a broken wooden toy.
“We can’t afford another one..” her mom started.
“Luckily, I know exactly the solution to your problem.” You said, a small smile on your face as you swiped your hand over it, as it seemingly fixed itself, looking brand new.
The girls eyes widened as you handed it back. She looked up at you.
“Thank you, sir!”
“Of course.“
Willy watched from a distant, a small smile on his face as he watched you interact with the girl and her parents. You were amazing, in his eyes.
You turned around, your employee also seemed shocked at you as you walked back into the room with Willy.
“Well, I’m not even gonna ask how you did that.” Willy started.
“A magician never reveals his secrets.” You held your finger to your lips, you both smiling at each other again.
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ineffable-suffering · 1 year ago
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The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie
Otherwise known as (*takes a deep breath*): A completely inflated close-up look at various dialogues and events of Season 2 that prove that the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Meeting Cotillion Ball was supposed to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley
Look, the point's been made before but that's never kept me from making it myself again, still. In fact, even I made it before, at the end of one of my other metas. But I feel like it's absolutely worthy enough to get its own soppy, way-too-long post. And I do love it so very much to write ridiculously long essays on something that could easily be condensed into a short paragraph.
So, here we go! Snuggle up, get cozy, settle in and, most importantly:
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(Word count: 3.177 | Reading time: ~13 minutes)
As I already said above, I laid out a similar case in my meta about why Aziraphale is somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I'll try and recycle it here briefly, so I can further make my point.
When Aziraphale arrives back in London from his Edinburgh journey, he seems oddly happy and giddy for the fact that he just had a rather odd and threatening encounter with Shax. I explain in my other meta that this is because he just spent the last hours of his drive reminiscing on the thrilling and romantic magic show adventure of 1941 and also the fact that he just found out that Crowley has been replaced by Shax and no longer works for Hell.
Ergo: We have a hopelessly lovesick Principality at our hands, who's practically swooning over his serpent who saved him, his books and his magic show all those years ago.
Ergo:
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✨This✨
Realistically, Aziraphale should probably be a tad worried about the eery encounter with Shax, in which she definitely had the upper hand on him. But well, if you spend many-a hours driving across the serene countryside (Edinburgh is about an 8-hour drive from London), pondering on one of the craziest, sticky-sweet romantic adventures of your not-life life, well ... things tend to turn a little rosy around the edges. Head in the clouds and all that. Light shades of grey!
Alright, onwards: Once the angel, filled to the very brim with fond memories and butterflies, gets out of the Bentley, he's kindly met with a face full of verdant plants and a very in-character-grumpy Crowley.
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Fhwack! Way to burst the rosy bubble.
Seriously, the absolute lightning speed with which Crowley storms out to vacate the bookshop the very second Aziraphale arrives makes me giggle every time.
Let's make a first small (who am I kidding) diversion into analysing the following conversation in unnecessary detail ...
... simply because I enjoy quoting dialogue as an accurate reference in my metas. I'll also highlight certain passages I want to comment on in individual colours so I can back up my thoughts with them below. Alright, their little chinwag goes as follows:
Crowley: "They you are! I was worried something might have happened to you." Aziraphale: "No, nothing happened to me. Very uneventful journey indeed. No strange things at all." Crowley: "Good. That's what we wanna hear." Aziraphale: "Um .. everything okay with- ah.." *nods to the bookshop* Crowley: "Oh, yeah, fine. He's singing to himself. I think he must have been asleep. I heard snoring coming from his bedroom–" Crowley, to the Bentley: "Did you miss me? I bet you did." Aziraphale: "... I'm sure it did." Crowley: "So, any more clues from the mystery of the missing archangel?" Aziraphale: "Not exactly. Or, if there are, I haven't yet cracked the case. But I'm certainly hot on the trail of something." Crowley: "I'm sure you are. Oh, by the way, the whole sudden rain and awning thing was a complete washout." Aziraphale: "Sorry?" Crowley: "You know, project making Nina fall in love with Maggie. I failed, it's your go." Aziraphale: "I see. Well then, Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Monthly Meeting, here we come!" Crowley: "You're really hosting the meeting?" Aziraphale: "Absolutely! And I can guarantee you, it will be a night to remember."
At first glance, this has little to do with the plot of this meta but actually, it folds into my point very nicely! However, it's not time for that yet, so we'll just state the facts as they are for now and then bring them back 'round later when we need them. That being said: For the love of Someone, will these two ever manage to simply tell each other the truth of what happened instead of thinking they can protect each other by lying about it all the time? Hrmpf. As a big fan of open communication myself, I'm close to developing a stomach ulcer with the amount of false truths being spewed here. (Then again – and yes, that is another, way larger meta I'm currently cooking up – it plays so very perfectly into the whole Jane-Austen-Pride-and-Prejudice tragic miscommunication theme that this entire Season has, so I understand the point of it.)
Very uneventful journey indeed, Aziraphale, except for the fact that you were ambushed by a demon who told you she was Crowley's successor, knows about the rumors of the two of you being an item as well as what went down in 1941 (that almost had both of you exposed) and also seems to have figured out where you and your demon boyfriend are hiding Gabriel, all in the span of about a minute. No strange things at all, nooo!
And Crowley's "Oh yeah, fine" is a total lie too. Again, we see him make an absolute run for it before Aziraphale can even enter the bookshop. After all, he just once again witnessed Jim have a Gabriel-flashback, speaking of the Second Coming, while Crowley was alone with him. As fumingly angry he is with the amnesiac archangel – he's also absolutely terrified of what might happen (to him and Aziraphale) should Jim regain his memories. So, no wonder he's quick to vacate the premises after witnessing Jim's rather eery memory flashback (and was, just like Aziraphale, threatened by Shax mere moments later, lol).
But no, nothing out of the ordinary happened to either of them. Tip-top. Absolutely tickety-fucking-boo.
Alright, let's get back on track with the actual topic of this meta. Certainly hot on the trail of something, hm? At first glance, it might seem like Aziraphale is talking about the fact that Gabriel was in company of someone whenever he went to the Resurrectionist Pub. (The clue!) However, I don't actually think he is talking about that. Why? Because, and this slipped my mind too at first, he never actually follows any of this information up, does he? Yes, sure, he went to Edinburgh, found the capital-c Clue and then returned to London. But what does he do with it? Nothing. He doesn't keep investigating this hot trail because that's not the important thing he realized during his journey. No, the more important clue Aziraphale found during his trip, is that Crowley no longer works for Hell and that he is also very much irrevocably in love with him and must confess this at the earliest given chance. (The latter part isn't necessarily a new discovery for Aziraphale, but it surely is fuelled by the fact that he just realized Crowley's out of a Hellish job and simply hasn't told him yet.)
This exchange just the perfect indicator for the fact that Aziraphale, at no point during his drive back, was thinking about the Maggie and Nina mission. He has no idea what Crowley is talking about once he mentions it and seems surprised, even, that he would. Even though they just talked about it on the phone when Aziraphale was still at the graveyard. Which is another important piece of evidence because it means that the last status update Aziraphale got of Mission Lovebirds, was that Crowley had sensed an opportunity to make them fall in love – and had then hung up on him. Why is this important? Because it means that until that very point of their conversation, Aziraphale did not know that Crowley's attempt had failed! There would have been just as much of a chance of Crowley's weather miracle actually working out and Maggie and Nina already having skipped into the sunset happily ever after.
So, riddle me this:
Why would Aziraphale spend the entire ride back from Edinburgh plotting "a night to remember" (because clearly, he already had the entire Ball planned out down to a T in his head since he goes into action right away after arriving) if he didn't even know yet that Crowley's attempt had failed?
To be very clear here: We're not talking about Aziraphale driving on the M1 to London, having a silly little idea for putting on some good music, miracle-ing Nina and Maggie to dance to it and watch them confess their love–
No.
He planned an entire actual Cotillion Ball with very particular location design that involves re-arranging the entire bookshop, specifically designed individual outfits for (almost) every single attendee, topped off with a live band, hors-d'œuvre, drinks and an actual choreographed group dance.
During one car ride.
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Where's the party planner Aziraphale AU? I'm waiting!
Now, sure, we know that it's still quite important for Aziraphale to convince Heaven of the faux-reason they gave for their accidental ✨25-Lazarii miracle✨. But if we're all honest, this all seems to be a tad much just to make two random humans fall in love, even for that.
Glittery ball gowns and suits? Red and gold wall curtains? A modified language filter? Bloody vol-au-vents?
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Talk about over the top ...
Once we start S2E5, Crowley is still surprised at the mere fact that Aziraphale is actually planning to organize the Monthly Meeting – and he doesn't even know yet that it's gonna be the most extravagant ball-boogaloo that the Whickber Street Community has ever seen! Aziraphale wanting to organize the meeting alone, is enough to render Crowley incredulous, because Aziraphale never mingles with the other shopkeepers. He usually actively avoids them and any sort of social encounters as much as he can because he doesn't care about the bloody Christmas lights, alright?
These things seem mundane and uninteresting to him, obviously, since all he really cares about is hoarding his book collection in peace like the little hedonist he is and drawing as little attention as possible to his none-business business.
Oh, right, speaking of books:
Let's take another unnecessarily detailed look at the whole Whickber Street invitation scene:
Aziraphale realizes very quickly that he's not the only one who's quite unenthusiastic about the blessed Chritsmas lights. And despite his very persuasive methods of temptation ...
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... he has to take some more drastic measurements. And those are?
That's right: Giving away his books.
I'll repeat it again, slowly: Aziraphale is willingly (!) giving away or lending his books to pretty much complete strangers to, allegedly, make two other humans strangers fall in love.
Seriously, who is that angel and what has he done with our prim, fussy, hedonistic Aziraphale that protects his books with the vice grip of an eagle carrying his precious prey?
Believe in the importance of Mission Lovebirds as much as you will, but we're talking about Mr. A.Z. Fell here who, over the past millennia, has pretty much spent every day actively working out methods to stop people from purchasing as much as a single paperback from his holy shelves.
And yet: the 1965 September Dr. Who Annual? Given away. The first edition of Expert at the Card Table that was S. W. Erdnase's personal copy? Lent away to grubby human hands to fondle around with.
Let's do another coloured dialogue diversion (don't worry, it's not as extensive as the last one):
Crowley: "You just did what I think you did?" Aziraphale: "I'm not prepared to talk about it." Crowley: "You gave away a book." Aziraphale: "I had to! Maggie and Nina are depending on me. They just don't know it yet."
Crowley backs up my point: This is a huge deal. Aziraphale does not sell his books – let alone give them away for free. We're all shocked! Flabbergasted!
And the explanation Crowley and us get just ... doesn't satisfy. Something and someone sure is depending on this Ball and doesn't know it yet. But it's most definitely not Maggie and Nina, folks.
You know for whom Aziraphale would give away his books in the blink of an eye, though?
Mhm, that's right.
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This pretty old serpent.
I want to take a minute to show you the reaction again that Aziraphale has upon entering the very same magic shop him and Crowley went to in 1941 to acquire the Bullet Catch:
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You ... you need a minute there, angel? You're sure looking a little ... affected.
And I mean, well, no wonder. He reminisced about that very memory four hours last night. To him, this shop is where the most turbulent, ecstatic, adrenaline-fuelled and romantic night of his life began. And it shows.
I've made my point in my other meta series about how Aziraphale is an incredibly nostalgic character. He romanticizes so many things in his memories – especially the parts that feature Crowley. So, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that he's once again willing to loosen the tight grip he has on his book collection to get the successor of Will Goldstone's Magic Shop, the shop that started it all for him, to come to his fancy Ball.
As we watch Aziraphale and his little lap dog demon pat around Soho, I'd like to take another second to point out that he goes to seven or more establishments before he even invites Nina.
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... and he only does so because she starts talking to them on the street. Almost like he'd forgotten about it. Why not ask her at the very beginning? To establish whether or not he'd have to book-blackmail her too?
"Perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind", except that he's using you and Maggie as a pretence to resolve his own clusterfuck of a relationship-miscommunication Jane-Austen-style so that he can then hopefully confess his undying love to his demon not-boyfriend boyfriend.
Marvellous!
You'll forgive me another short diversion but my God, the whole exchange at the Marguerite's restaurant with Crowley literally cat-call-whistling Aziraphale over to him (and Aziraphale checking if he meant someone else first, I–)? I am weak. So, so weak and
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However, this is also when we get a snippet of Crowley finally revealing the truth in place of his "Oh, he's fine"-lie earlier and telling Aziraphale that he's actually pretty scared Jim might turn back into Gabriel and smite him altogether. And Aziraphale's response is, in a cosmic sense, (remember the pink paragraph now) so hilarious:
"Have you thought of just talking to him?"
Yeah, have you? Have any of the two of you? Just thought about talking? To each other? About anything?
'pparently not. But hey, it's all good because remember what the ultimate remedy for star-crossed lovers simply misunderstanding each other is?
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Bish, bash, bosh, problem solved!
Back at the ballroom bookshop, Aziraphale sends Crowley to invite Maggie in order to, in my opinion, not spoil the Ball-y surprise for him. (Inviting Maggie only now?! Wouldn't she be one of the only two guests who really should attend? Why the short notice? If she's really that important for the Ball you're planning, hm?)
On top of this, we see Nina almost not attending the Ball meeting after her partner broke up with her and Crowley being the one who coincidentally runs into her and ushers her into the bookshop before Shax and her "legion" of demons start creeping up on them. Again, if this hadn't happened by pure coincidence, Nina would have left to go home and this whole Ball would have taken place without her, rendering the apparent sole purpose of making her fall in love with Maggie useless.
Why doesn't Aziraphale care more for both of them to attend and be there? Why is he instead busy fussing over everything looking perfect and wonderful and doesn't even seem to notice that both Nina and Maggie are really late to the meeting?
Well. Well.
The answer's in the title, babes.
Alas, Crowley safely gets Maggie and Nina to join them, Mr. Brown is the only one who doesn't get a miracled outfit (fussy, petty angel, you just don't like him, do you?), Jimbriel stuns with glamour and flirt (and whatever sexually suggestive thing he does with his cheeks) and the Whickber Street Ball is a-go!
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Sorry, I just had to chuck this in again because Crowley's face here absolutely kills me every time. He looks so confused, I am hollering.
And the heart eyes Aziraphale is making at Nina and Maggie now that they're actually here?
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Oh, bless it, angel.
He's all like "Oh look, it's working! Jane was right! It's all going to be resolved, all the misunderstanding and quarrels! Crowley, where's Crowley–"
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Ah yes, there he is.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is an angel who is not listening to a single word being said right now. No, in his head, Aziraphale is already down on one knee, pouring his heart out to Crowley after they just danced the night away.
Oh, yes, right. The dancing.
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Parallel much?
But well, as marvellous and beautifully romantic as her stories tend to be, it turns out that Jane Austen isn't always right after all. Because before we know it, the perfect night shatters into many-a tiny pieces (literally).
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And once again, fhwack:
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... the rosy bubble bursts.
Let's take one more deep breath so I can make my final point:
In S2E2, Aziraphale explains to us very exactly what Jane's Balls (hrhr) used to be about: Solving miscommunication and confessing love to one another.
During his car journey back from Edinburgh, Aziraphale:
doesn't know Crowley's Mission Lovebirds had failed
remembers 1941 and just how badly he's in love with Crowley
and also realizes that they seem to have been wildly miscommunicating for quite some time now. (Crowley didn't even tell him he basically got let go!)
So, what does maddeningly strong love plus a want to resolve all the miscommunication equal? That's right: A night to remember! A Ball to change it all! A dance, a vol-au-vent, a confession. And, ideally, a happy ever after. Because:
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man angel in possession of a good fortune Jane Austen collection, must be in want of a wife demon husband.”
The Ball was never for Nina and Maggie. As a byproduct, maybe, yes. But the whole rest of the glimmer and glamour, the careful, romantic planning and set up of it all, the book-bating the other shopkeepers– that was for Crowley and Crowley only.
And oh, if only it were as easy as in the books.
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*whispers* I'm sorry, I had to.
***
Your honour, the tinfoil-hat crackpot defence rests. Feel free to share thoughts (and prayers) if you want to!
Au revoir! 💗
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mediumgayitalian · 5 months ago
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fic rec friday 20
hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!
farm to table by @buoyantsaturn*
“There’s another group of kids here,” she said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. “Said they’re looking for the Ghost King.”
I FUCKING LOVE THIS SERIES. NO WORD OF A LIE IM OBSESSED. i got an ask a couple weeks ago on what i see will & nico doing in their futures and i havent answered it yet BUT this series in particular is never what i would have thought for them and yet it fully and completely convinced me. i love the way their relationship is portrayed here, i love the nuances about will's gender, i love them figuring adult demigodhood out! i love the solace family! this series is another one of those stories that i think back to when im writing bc it's so spectacularly done
2. hopeless case by @restinreesespieces
“Nico,” Jason wheezes as he slams the door to the Hades cabin open. “Nico, I think I’m in love with my best friend.” “No, really?” Nico drawls, barely looking up from his book. Or: in which nico is jason’s wingman this time around.
i was sold on the 'jason is a disaster. nico is also a disaster but more subtle about it' like that SENT me 😭😭 such an apt description of their friendship. and leo wearing crop tops bc there's less clothes to burn and jason losing his mind over it is so real and true
3. seize the day by @restinreesespieces
“-Hey, Jason? Are you okay?” “No,” Jason snaps. “You’re distracting me.” Silence. Leo comes forward. Jason’s back digs into the wooden edge of the table. “I’m distracting you?” Leo’s hand twitches, like he’s not sure where to put it. It lingers in the air between them, making a choice. Instead of a friendly shoulder pat or slap on the back, Jason’s fingers are met with the familiar warmth and completion of Leo’s. Their hands interlock, sliding into place as they’ve done so many times before under the cover of darkness. But this time there’s light, and they can’t escape the bright truth that it brings. “How, exactly, am I distracting you?" or: valgrace dead poets society au (with a happy ending)
this fic was so FUN like jason in theatre....ur so absolutely right. loved loved this story it was such a delight to read like who cares about reality what if everyone is gay at whatever time period we wish forever
4. crush the size of jupiter by @restinreesespieces
“Aw,” he joked. “And here I thought we had a connection.” “Yeah, maybe that’s because we’re tied at the ankle, Solace.” Or: In which Nico thinks he can ignore his budding feelings for a certain son of Apollo, and fate decides otherwise.
the flower symbolism had me GAAAAGGGGEED and nico going oh. oh, no had me CLUTCHING MY CHEST SHDNSJDNS. WHY IS HE SUCH A MESS
5. stars on my skin by @restinreesespieces
“Will,” he says, “I think you’re being silly.” “What?” Will tries to hide his confusion, and Nico rolls his eyes. “You’re being silly,” he repeats. “I told you your bedside manner is okay. So why don’t you believe it? Do you think I’m a liar?” “No! I just-” “Hmph,” he huffs, pretending to be miffed. “I think you’re afraid of nothing. Nobody’s gonna be mad if you’re a little enthusiastic about healing them. That means you want to save them! That’s what heroes do.” “I’m - I’m a healer,” he says quietly. “Yeah,” Nico replies. “Isn’t that what I said?” or: after the quest group to rescue annabeth leaves camp, a ten-year-old nico winds up in the infirmary and meets will for the first time.
BABY SOLANGELO BABY SOLANGELO BABY SOLANGELO IM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS GOOD AND EASY WHAT IF THE WORLD WAS KIND TO THEM
thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!
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elliesfavbae · 3 months ago
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Summer camps and dead mouses, Part 4
Summer camp with enemy to lovers Ellie Williams.
part 1, part 2, part 3
synopsis: Your so called enemy at the summer camp is totally messing with your head. Once she's the most angry person in the world, the other time she's quiet. You don't know what to think anymore.
pairing: mean!Ellie Williams x reader
wc: 4500???
warnings: use of y/n, swearing obv, usage of alcohol, reader gets slightly drunk, usage of weed, reader gets high, not proofread! lmk if there are any mistakes
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Abby? Y/n?” A furious voice suddenly reaches your ears. You and Abby quickly look up, startled, and you instinctively jump away from her.
It's Ellie.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Her voice is loud, and her jaw is clenched, anger visibly coursing through her veins. So now Ellie decides to talk to you? Just great.
“I— What…” You stammer, not sure what to say, but the blonde next to you speaks up before you can continue.
“It’s none of your business, Ellie,” Abby sighs, trying to stay calm. “I thought we’d already talked this through.”
“Yeah, we did, but I also know you're bad news for any girl you touch.” Ellie steps closer, now dangerously near you. Abby and you are still sitting on the bench, but Ellie’s looming presence makes you tense.
“Well, you didn’t have any problem with me flirting with girls a year ago,” Abby retorts, standing up. You follow her movements, standing beside her.
“And what’s up with you anyway?” you finally burst out, unable to hold back. “You hated me when we first met, then you turned into some silent lamb who couldn’t even say a word to me. And now, what? We’re back to square one? Is this some kind of cycle?” The words spill out, and it feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. Finally, you’re confronting her.
You study her face closely. Ellie doesn’t speak right away. For a moment, her expression softens, a flicker of sadness in her eyes, but it’s quickly replaced by anger.
“I tried to give you space, that’s why I didn’t talk to you,” she finally says, though it sounds ridiculous coming from her.
“I don’t believe you,” you chuckle, shaking your head. “You love bothering me.”
“Whatever. Mrs. Garcia asked for you.” Ellie dismisses you, focusing on Abby as if she doesn’t even exist. Maybe Mrs. Garcia really does want to talk to you, so you start walking towards the gap in the bushes, the one you came through earlier.
“See you later?” Abby asks, sitting back down on the bench.
“Sure,” you reply quickly, not looking at her anymore. You can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Ellie hadn’t shown up.
“So where’s Mrs. Garcia?” you ask, glancing around but seeing no sign of her. Ellie looks at you, her confusion clear for a split second before she quickly masks it.
“Right… her. Maybe it wasn’t that important after all. I swear she was just here…” That’s when you realize Ellie was lying. Obviously. But why? Did she see you with Abby and decide to intervene? That doesn’t add up, though. Abby mentioned Ellie was fine with her dating other girls last year. Maybe Ellie just doesn’t want to see her “enemy” happy—unless it’s on her terms?
Before you can voice your thoughts, you realize Ellie is already gone. Great. Now she’ll probably do everything she can to make your life hell, just like she did at the beginning.
You head back to your room, sighing as you enter. Olivia is on the bed, animatedly telling the other roommates a story that has them captivated, only occasionally interrupted by a loud “What?!” or “No way!”
That is, until the old wooden floor creaks under your step. Everyone turns to see you.
“Hey Y/n! Where’ve you been? We were just getting to the best part!” someone exclaims.
“I was with Abby…” You clear your throat, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. “It wasn’t like that! I mean… we just went to that spot in the bushes—”
“Come here and spill! We need every detail!” someone interrupts, and you walk closer, taking a seat on one of the beds.
“Okay, from the beginning. After dinner, she came up to me, and we started talking—”
“Wait, I didn’t know you liked Abby!” another voice cuts in.
“No, I don’t—it’s not like that, okay?” you say, hiding your face in your hands. “I just… I didn’t realize what she meant when she suggested going into The Bushes. And by the time I did, it was too late; we were already there. She sat closer, touched my hair, and that’s when Ellie barged in—”
“What?!”
“Shh, let her finish,” Olivia says, cutting in.
“Yeah, so Ellie comes in, and she’s pissed as hell, swearing every other word,” you continue. Leah, sitting next to you, looks like she wants to say something but holds back. “But this time, she was furious. She dragged me away from Abby and then just disappeared.”
“Wait, so Ellie ignored you for days, and now she’s jealous whenever you get close to anyone?” someone asks.
“I mean, I don’t think she was jealous…” you mutter, feeling your cheeks flush again.
“Bro, she totally was. I think we’re all thinking the same thing,” Olivia chimes in, glancing around at the others. “It’s obvious she has feelings for either you or Abby.”
“What? No way. The only feeling she has for me is hatred,” you scoff. “And Abby and her are over. Abby dated other girls last year.”
“So how do you explain her behavior?”
“She just doesn’t want her enemy getting close to anyone unless she’s the one in control.”
“It’s not that complicated. Don’t overthink it.”
“Please, I don’t want to hear any more theories,” you groan. You don’t even want to consider the possibility of Ellie having feelings for you. You doubt she’s capable of feeling anything other than hatred.
The girls let the topic drop, and you sigh in relief. Olivia quickly returns to her gossip, and you soon find yourself engrossed in stories about various dramas at the camp, many involving people you didn’t even know existed.
That evening’s activity is a themed dance party, though the theme remains a mystery until the assembly. You’re given some free time to get ready.
“It’s crazy! Only twenty minutes to get ready for a party?!” you all storm into your cabin, rushing to put together the best outfit for the party’s theme—Glow-in-the-Dark.
Well, that doesn’t sound too exciting. You’re told to wear neon-colored clothes—great, like you had any. You settle on an all-white outfit, hoping it’ll reflect the light well enough. You choose a white top and a long white skirt, and Emma from your room helps you with your hair. You finish with light makeup and white eyeliner.
You all assemble again and head toward the sports hall.
“Y/n, aren’t you excited?” Olivia asks when she notices you’re the only one not joining in the conversation.
“I mean… I’d be more excited if I were thirteen,” you chuckle. “I think we’re a bit too old for this.” You love partying, just not when it involves wearing neon and dancing in a sports hall.
“Trust me, the parties here are actually good,” she nudges you playfully. “Come on, you’ll like it!” Her enthusiasm brings a smile to your face.
“You really think so?” you giggle, and Olivia nods. As you approach the hall, you can hear the loud music and see people crowding inside. The windows are covered with something pitch black, adding to the mystery.
Every step closer, the crowd thickens around you.
“Look, they’re giving out glow sticks!” Emma comes up to you, helping you put a few around your wrists and one around your ankle. “Looks cute.”
You finally enter the hall. The first thing you notice is the stuffy air and the floor vibrating from the loud music. People bump into you as you try to move further inside without losing your friends, which is almost impossible in the blacked-out room. The only light comes from glow sticks and the occasional par can or strobe light. The music is blaring.
When you feel you’re far enough in, you let go of your friends and start dancing. You have to admit, Olivia was right. It’s much better than you expected. The darkness gives you the confidence to let loose, and soon you’re jumping and swinging your head along with the beat. After a few minutes, you’re already feeling overheated and decide you need a break. You look around for your friends, but they’re nowhere in sight. You shrug internally and start making your way to the exit.
It takes a good ten minutes of navigating through sweaty bodies before you finally find the door and step outside.
Outside the hall, people are sitting on benches, sipping water from cups and gathering energy for more dancing. You approach a large water cooler, filling a cup. The cold water is a welcome relief.
You spot Emma talking to some girls on a nearby bench and head over to say hi.
“Y/n, hi! Come sit with us!” Emma greets you with a smile. You sit next to a girl in a blue tank top who you don’t recognize. Almost immediately, she rests her head on your shoulder and giggles. You’re a bit surprised until you realize something.
“Has she been drinking?” you whisper to Emma, trying to keep it discreet.
“What do you think is in those cups?” Emma chuckles, offering you a cup. “Have a sip.”
You giggle and take a sip. You flinch as the burning sensation of vodka hits your throat.
“So, you’re just casually drinking vodka with water?” you whisper, smirking.
“Yeah, Jason got us some, but there isn’t much. These cups are all we got… But if you want some, I think Katie has already had enough.” She grabs the cup from the girl in the blue top and hands it to you. “Just… don’t act suspicious, alright? You know, if someone finds out about this, we’re super fucked. I trust you, though.”
To be honest, it sounds quite ridiculous that some Jason brought straight vodka to a summer camp. Fuck it, you down the liquid as fast as possible to avoid the awful taste; you even chug water after, but it’s not the best chaser. You don’t know how much alcohol exactly was in that cup, but after a few minutes, everything starts to sound ten times funnier than before. After a minute of straight-up giggling, Emma tells you to act normal, and you remember now to be careful.
You decide it’s time to go back to the party. You take one of the girls sitting on the bench with you, and you both enter the building. The vibrations from the music hit you again, and you start dancing along with the girl.
You’re swinging your head, and your vision goes blurry. All you see are fast-moving lights from the party or the fluorescent sticks. All of the people are bumping into each other, including you, and one of them pushes you so hard you’re just about to trip when someone’s steady hands land on your waist. You can feel their firm grip, but they don’t let go once you steady yourself, and you take it as a sign to dance with them.
Normally, if you were fully sober, you don’t know if you would’ve done such a thing, but the alcohol has made you much more courageous. You start swaying your hips, your back still facing that person. Their hands start to slightly guide your waist from side to side, to the rhythm of the music.
You feel they got closer, their stomach touches your back, and their head is right behind yours. You don’t even think about what you’re doing anymore. You tilt your head slightly to the side, and you can feel the person’s head leaning into your neck.
They plant a gentle kiss on it; it makes you giggle. Even though the room is filled with the scent of sweat and that typical smell of a fog machine, you can still smell the mysterious person’s scent. It smells like leather, a little earthy too. Is there also a hint of some male perfume? You don’t have time to think about it any longer, though, because before you know it, the person pulls away and takes their hands off your body.
You quickly turn around, trying to spot the person whose body was hugging yours just a second ago, but it’s too dark. You only see dark silhouettes of dancing people combined with the fake fog.
“Who was that?!” someone screams in your ear. You turn around to see it’s the girl from the bench you brought here.
“I have no fucking idea!” you yell loud enough for her to hear through the music and people’s voices. You look at the girl; your faces are very close to each other, close enough to see her facial expressions even through the dim lighting. She looks confused at first, but after a second, she bursts out laughing, and so do you. You keep dancing and brush off any thoughts. Even if you had any left, the music is so loud it would have silenced them all.
Your legs start to hurt again after a while, and eventually, the girl you were dancing with drags you out of the building.
You spend the rest of the evening talking and laughing with your friends. Coming back to your cabin, you can spot many couples cuddling, hiding among the bushes, trying to escape from people's prying eyes. You remember one particular couple. It’s Ellie and some girl. Maybe they’re not cuddling, but the girl is sitting way too close, talking to the auburn-haired girl, and her smile is a little bit too wide for it to be just friendly. But you don’t care, right? You totally don’t care.
Fuck it. Why does Ellie get to flirt with other girls while you can’t even talk to Abby for more than five minutes?
“Hey guys, you can go to the cabin without me; I’ll get there late.”
“Okay, see ya.” One of the guys says as they walk away from you, and you stay in place.
You turn around to see the girl is now brushing a strand of hair behind Ellie’s ear. Just like Abby did to you earlier. Without thinking much, you come closer.
“Ellie,” your voice doesn’t sound too calm, but not really furious either.
Ellie quickly turns her face away and looks at you. “What do you want? I’m busy.” Actually, why are you even here? What did you want to tell her? Suddenly you regret ever speaking up.
“I just- What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Wha-” You don’t let Ellie finish.
“You don’t want to leave me and Abby in peace, meanwhile you’re flirting with some fucking random girl? You’re such a hypocrite.”
“I don’t wanna be dragged into this.” The mentioned ‘fucking random girl’ gets up from the bench and walks away.
“Great! See what you’ve done? You just scared her away!” Ellie looks at you; she’s still sitting on the wooden plank, and you’re standing in front of her.
“You’ve done the same to me and Abby.”
“I told you, the counselor wanted to talk to you…” Ellie’s gaze suddenly avoids yours.
“Bullshit.” You don’t believe any of her excuses. “I know you’re still jealous of Abby. And you’re being such an asshole if you’re flirting with others at the same time.”
Ellie sighs and grabs her nose bridge in frustration. “Me and Abby are done. It’s not about her. And even if it was, it wouldn’t be any of your business, understood?”
“Whatever.” You sigh and walk away, feeling defeated. You can’t help but think of the mistake you just made. Did you really do that for Abby? There’s a specific feeling deep inside of you… It’s so little, almost nonexistent. And it’s not pleasant either. Did you just feel a sting of jealousy seeing Ellie with someone else? A super tiny one, but still. Where did this even come from? After all, you hate her.
Maybe a little part of you subconsciously believed what your friend implied earlier; that Ellie has feelings for you.
No, no fucking way. You quickly push that thought away. You feel disgusted even considering it.
You take a deep breath and open the door to your room. The light is off, everyone already tucked in their beds, all of them exhausted from the dance. You are too, but once you take a shower and tuck yourself under the soft duvet, suddenly you can’t sleep. You’re tossing from side to side.
“Can’t sleep?” You hear a voice from the bed next to you; you almost jump out of your skin. Relax, it’s just Olivia.
“Yeah…” you whisper back. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure.” Olivia gets up from her bed, slips her feet into slippers, and you follow her actions. After a second, you find yourself on the balcony outside your room.
“So what is it?” The lighting is poor, the only source of it is the Moon, but you can still see Olivia’s penetrating gaze on you.
“So, well… I told you earlier that Ellie interrupted me and Abby, right?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“So, I just ran into Ellie sitting with some random girl exactly how I was with Abby.”
“What? You mean, like, super close?”
“Exactly, like I swear if I was there a minute later they’d have been already making out.”
“What! That’s actually so hypocritical of Ellie. If I were you, I’d have totally jumped them.” Olivia’s eyes widen in shock, then her expression turns into anger.
“Well, that’s what I did. I called her out, and she got super pissed off.” You sigh at the memory.
“What? She’s impossible…”
“I just wanted to ask… would you have done the same?”
“Call her out? Of course, she’s such a bitch.” Olivia snorts. “Why do you even ask?”
“I don’t know.” Of course, you know. You look at the view from the balcony. The dimly lit trees below you are swinging slightly from side to side due to the wind. From time to time, you can see one of the counselors’ flashlights in the distance.
Maybe you’ve just imagined it. You don’t have a crush on Ellie, and everyone would’ve done the same thing you did. You sigh with relief this time and feel the cold breeze hitting your arms, realizing you’re cold.
“Wanna go back inside?” You ask, and when Olivia nods, you hold the door for her. You silently crawl back into your beds and whisper ‘goodbye’ to each other before falling asleep.
It’s the next day. It starts like every other day here: assembly, breakfast, assembly. When you’re picking the activities for the day, a sharp pain hits your stomach.
Fuck, did you just get your period?
You try to finish the picking as quickly as possible. After you’re done, you almost run to your room. Normally, you wouldn’t be so dramatic, but you wore white pants today.
You lock yourself in the bathroom and… it’s not your period. Alright. Maybe you’ve eaten something bad at breakfast? 
Leaving the bathroom, you feel the ache pass; maybe it was just a bad moment. But no more than 5 seconds later, you feel the pain come back twice as strong.
You’re practically writhing in pain, crawling into your bed. When you’re there, the other girls come into the room.
“Hey Y/n. Are you okay?” Olivia comes up to you, concerned.
“Yeah I—my stomach hurts so bad. I don’t think I’ll be able to participate in anything today…”
“Wait, I’ve got painkillers somewhere in here…” Your friend picks up her bag and searches for a while, finally finding what she was looking for and hands you the medicine.
“You’re a lifesaver,” you say with a smile of relief. You take the pill, but it doesn’t work right away, obviously. The first activity is just about to start, but you feel too weak to even get out of bed. You ask your friends to tell the counselor what’s going on instead.
After a while, they leave the room, and you’re left alone with the pain. Fortunately, you feel the pain pill starting to work. One of the counselors even comes in to check on you, but when they realize it’s nothing serious, they let you spend the day in bed and leave you alone.
For the first 20 minutes, you spend in terrible pain, but it gets better with time. You even start to think it’s something serious, but eventually, the pain is gone. The activities have barely started, but you don’t want to join them even though you feel better now; the bed seems too comfortable.
You stay like this for a while, lying with your eyes closed, hoping to take a nap. But after a while, you realize you’re unable to. You carefully get out of bed, slowly, so you don’t bring the ache back. You leave the room, not even knowing where to go. You just wander around the camp. As you’re walking, you notice an entrance to the woods. It’s still on camp’s terrain; somewhere inside, there is a fence, but it still looks like a big area. You realize you’ve never been here since the camp started, so you decide to explore.
You’re following the main path, but it eventually comes to an end, and the forest continues. You start following a trail of trampled grass, wondering where it might lead. A few minutes into your journey, you smell something. It’s a strong herbal scent, a bit pungent.
What the hell? Are you smelling weed? Yeah, it’s definitely it. You swiftly turn around and are ready to walk away, because you never know who’s out here and you doubt anyone from the camp would be smoking deep in the woods, but someone’s words reach your ears.
“Who’s that?” You hear a raspy voice, a bit pretentious too. And you recognize it immediately. You even feel your heart skip a beat, but you tell yourself it’s because the voice took you by surprise, totally no other reason.
“Where are you?”
“Good, you’re not a counselor.” You hear a sigh of relief. You hear the rustle of the bushes and eventually a head sticks out of them. Of course, it’s Ellie. And when she realizes it’s you, her smile drops, but just for a second before she starts giggling.
Oh, she’s definitely high. She grabs your hand and brings you into the bushes. You don’t even have time to react before you’re there, with an old blanket, a string bag on it, a journal, and a half-finished joint.
“What the fuck is this—” “What are you doing here?” You both speak at the same time.
“Well, I was just relaxing a bit,” Ellie says, a smug smirk glued to her lips.
“I can tell.” You sigh and sit down on the blanket.
“So, what are you doing here?”
“I was just wandering around,” That’s the truth.
“I went like super fucking deep into the woods. There’s no way you’re here just because you were walking around.”
“I didn’t even get that far from the main path.” You look at Ellie, but she seems too deep inside her own world, looking at the clouds. “Whatever…” You sigh and look at the journal next to you. You pick it up, and Ellie doesn’t even say a word; she probably hasn’t noticed. You look at the page on top; there’s an unfinished drawing that looks like a female body. Suddenly, the notebook gets ripped out of your hands.
“This belongs to me,” a sharp voice interrupts you, “I was trying to draw… someone, but I think I got too high.” Ellie’s back to that mellow state. “I don’t know, man, this shit’s stronger than I thought.”
“What are you even doing, smoking at the camp?! You know they could kick you out.”
“They could if someone found out, but no one knows.”
“I do know.” A few days ago, you would’ve snitched, but today, something’s holding you back. You look at Ellie, her eyes wide in shock when the power of your words hits her stoned brain.
“So are you telling on me? Kicking me out of the camp?”
You stay silent for a while, thinking.
“Hm…” You want to say no, but first, you want to see how she will react, tease her a little.
“I mean, it would have been a perfect opportunity for you, right? You’d get me kicked out, never see me again, and probably cause me some problems with the law, too. Perfect revenge after I was such an ass.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” you look at her, “but I’m not a monster.” You reach for the half-finished joint and put it to your lips.
“Pass me the lighter.” You reach your hand towards her, and she throws you the object. You light the end of the joint and inhale the smoke. You hold it in your lungs for a few seconds before exhaling with a cough.
“Fuck, it is indeed strong.” You’re still coughing, even tears appearing in the corners of your eyes. You take another drag before putting it down. A while passes, and you start to feel it—warmth traveling from your legs, through your stomach, finally arriving at your head. Everything around you starts to feel so much funnier, even Ellie’s face. You start laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Ellie asks with the smug smirk on her face.
“You are.” You’re expecting an outburst of anger, but instead, you meet with a laugh. For a second, you forget about the mutual hatred you’re feeling. But then you remember again.
“You know,” Ellie’s face turns to you, “if you weren’t such a bitch, you could actually be cool.” Fuck. Why are you being so nice? You don’t want to be nice to her.
“If you weren’t such a bitch, I think we could actually get along.” Ellie answers back.
“What? You were the one who started!”
“No, I wasn’t.” She was.
A few minutes of silence pass by as everyone is deep in their thoughts. Suddenly, you feel the wind on your skin; it’s starting to get colder, and you get goosebumps. Ellie notices it too, looks at you, then takes off her hoodie and gives it to you.
“You look cold.”
Wow, it’s the first time she’s done something nice for you. It must be the weed, though. You take the hoodie from her, and as you’re struggling to pull it over your head, you can feel its scent. It smells like it’s been sprayed with a decent amount of male perfume; you smell leather too.
What…
That’s the exact same scent the mysterious person had yesterday when they kissed you at the party.
TAGLIST:
@littlelittlebear
@diddiqueen
@cannyyyyy
@villainousbear
@ivying it wont let me tag u;(
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authors note: recently I've faced a family tragedy, I'm leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks and won't be able to write there. So the next chapter is coming in at least 2/3 weeks😓😓
Thank you for all the support I'm getting from you!!! You don't even know how much it means to me<33
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souliebird · 1 year ago
Text
[[and then I met you || ch. 5]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.
pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
words: 4.4k
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It has been one week since you saw Matt Murdock on the evening news, and it feels like it has been a complete whirlwind. First, you reintroduced yourself to him and let him know he was a father, then you had a nice little outing, and to tie it all up, a trip to the doctors to confirm what you already knew. 
Matthew Murdock is the father of your daughter.
It is nice to have an official statement from a doctor and now you can start the process of changing Minnie's paperwork to include his name. You have to go to the courthouse to file for an updated birth certificate. Matt has very kindly offered to take that task on for you - he goes to the courthouse often for his job and he knows the ins-and-outs of navigating legal paperwork. You just have to go and drop off the right documentation. 
You had a brief call last night, after Minnie had been put down, and decided that you would visit his office today to do just that. You are going to kill two birds with one stone - hand over what needs to be filed and give Matt more time with his daughter. 
To your great surprise, your timid little Mouse absolutely adores him. She was not happy to have to be at the doctor's office yesterday and was on the verge of tears before he showed up. Her whole mood shifted, and she had spent the brief time you were in the waiting room and exam room telling Matt about different things around them. 
You have a feeling, when you sit down and tell her the truth, she is going to be thrilled. 
You told her that you are going to visit Matt at work today, and all morning she has been hunched over her sketchbook making pictures for him while you try to get in some hours at work. Try being the key word, as you've been thoroughly distracted by today's news cycle. 
You were half listening to a puff piece about something or other when breaking news flashed across the screen. A neighborhood in Connecticut has been leveled by some sort of explosion, killing hundreds. They don't know if it was an accident or some sort of attack - the epicenter of the blast was a school, so it could potentially be either. You pray it was a freak accident, some faulty pipeline or a weird meteor, because the world doesn't need any more horribleness in it. 
The idea that it might have been an attack makes you nervous. You've been through two horrible attacks on New York, and you didn't realize another big event so close to home would shake you so hard. 
It scares you that you have to raise Minnie in such a harsh world, where monsters of all kinds are very very real and you don't know who you can rely on. The police and government have been shown to be all kinds of corrupt and people who can shoot laser beams fight each other in the skies. 
You end up clocking out and going to sit with Minnie to get yourself to stop your doom-listening. She's got a few drawings scattered around the table and you pick up the one closest to you, smiling at her handy work. 
You recognize the shapes as her interpretation of people - oblongs with stick arms and noodle legs. Unknowingly, she's made her first new family portrait. There are three blob-people all holding hands: you suspect you're the big orange one with a smile, Minnie is the little pink one in the middle with what you guess are pigtails, and Matt is the black one with red eyes, who is also holding a stick. To confirm, you ask her.
"Is this one Mister Matt?"
Her head shoots up and a big grin spreads across her face, "Yeah!  And that's you and that's me and we're gonna go to the zoo!" There is a little flurry of motion and suddenly you are getting a picture show. She holds up the paper she was working on - there's another family drawing, but this time there's green scribbles all around you and a blue square with zig zags all over it. You guess that is some sort of animal. 
"You want to go to the zoo with Mister Matt?" You ask, examining her masterpiece.
"Yeah!" She says, pulling over another picture that you know are her versions of flowers, even if they are all different colors. "And the park!"
"And the park? Wow, that's a lot of things to do. Do you want to ask him if he wants to go to the zoo with us when we see him today?" Minnie eagerly nods at the question and that makes you smile. "Okay, we can invite him to the zoo. When are we going to the zoo?"
The question makes her bounce in excitement, "My birthday!" 
You laugh at her enthusiasm and give her a little back rub, "Exactly. We're going to go for your birthday. And get a big cake with whatever you want on it." That makes her a giggly mess and you temporarily forget all the bad things in the world. 
You hand her back her drawing before kissing the top of her hair, "How about you finish this one up and we get ready to go see Mister Matt? We can only visit for a little bit, because he's working, but I bet he'll love everything you made him."
Greedy little hands take back the paper and instantly Mouse is hunched back over her zoo scene, purple crayon in hand. You get up and go to make sure that you have everything you need to bring to Matt in order. You are extremely lucky that the doctor has the ability to print out things in Braille, so you don't need to make an extra stop to get things translated. 
You debate bringing Matt lunch, but ultimately decide against it. You don't want to push too much too fast, and you think it might be a little weird for his coworkers, to see a random person bring him homemade lunch. You know he hasn't told anyone yet about yourself and Minnie - he had shyly admitted it didn't feel real until the test results were given and you completely get it. 
You tidy up until you spy Mouse dropping her crayons into her bucket and cleaning up her drawing area. You let her do her thing, then approach, "Let's put your drawings with the other things we need to give Mister Matt. That way they won't get lost or wrinkled."
She nods like you've just said something very wise and gathers up her stack of papers before handing them over. There's five in total; the three she showed you and two more full of colorful lines. You decide you'll listen in on her explanation to Matt on those two, as you're curious as to what goes on in her little mind. 
Once everything is safe and ready to go, it's just a matter of getting shoes on. You go with your sensible sneakers while Minnie opts for her frog themed Wellingtons. The plan is for both of you to walk to the office, and after one final wallet-keys-phone check in your purse, you head out hand-in-hand.
It's mid-morning, so foot traffic is decent, but not heavy - nothing that makes Minnie too uncomfortable. Dark clouds are gathering on the horizon, and it makes you wonder if the rain that has been promised in the forecast will be coming sooner than expected and you are glad this outing is the only one you have planned. Taking Minnie around in the rain is never fun. It always seems like everything becomes more bustling in the rain and trying to navigate that with a crying toddler just makes you want to cry as well. 
But the promise of her new favorite person and mild weather has her walking like the born and bred New Yorker she is - a determined little pout with no nonsense steps. No one will be trying to sell her things on the sidewalks once she gets bigger. If she had a different personality, you'd want to teach her to say "Hey, I'm walking here" just to hear a toddler say it. 
As you spy the building Matt's office is in, you realize you should have sent him a text to say you were on your way. You did let him know vaguely what time you planned to stop by and he had assured you that they had no appointments - it was catch up on paperwork day - but that didn't mean walk-in clients hadn't come by. You're so close to already being there that you think the gesture is pointless, so you just keep walking until you get to the building.
"This is where we are going," you tell Minnie as you approach. You scoop her up to show her the business directory on the outside of the building. There aren't very many plaques to begin with, so it's easy to find the Nelson, Murdock, and Page one. "That is where Mister Matt works with his friends."
She leans out and feels over the embossed sign, running her fingers over the different letters. "'M'! For Minnie!" She says, pointing out the letter with a big smile. 
"Exactly. Mister Matt's last name starts with M, too. That word is his last name - Murdock."
That gets her to turn back to the sign, fingers dancing over the letters, brows knitting with curiosity, "How is it spelled?"
You spell out Murdock for her and Minnie repeats each letter after you. You do this a few times until she's able to say it out loud on her own. You don't know how long she'll retain the information, as spelling isn't really on the board yet, but you're happy she's interested. You set her back down and she makes a beeline up the steps, grabbing and pulling at the door with all her three-year-old strength. 
The lobby to the building is sparse, with basically only an elevator and staircase, with a door to what you suspect is a supply closet. "We're going up two staircases," you tell your daughter. 
"Two!" She confirms before taking off towards the stairs. You have a brief moment of panic that she's going to zip up both sets faster than you can catch her, but to your great amusement, she grabs a hold of the banister with both hands and pretends to use it like a mountaineering rope to climb the stairs. She even adds little fake huffs and puffs. You follow behind her, ready to catch her if she slips. She doesn't, and when you get to the floor Matt's office is on, she turns to beam at you, clearly proud of herself, "We did it!"
"We did it," you parrot, offering out your hand again. She takes it and you lead her to the correct door. The same plaque that was on the exterior of the building also hangs beside their door and Minnie astutely points to it.
"Murdock!" 
"That's right, it says Nelson, Murdock, and Page."
"Can I knock?" Mouse asks, raising her fist to do just that.
You hum, then gently explain, "This is business, which means work. For work, we don't have to knock. We can go in if it is open."
As soon as you say that she's opening the door and marching inside and you quickly follow her. 
Matt's law partners, Foggy and Karen, are in the reception area with a man you assume is a client of theirs, talking in hushed annoyed sounding whispers. He radiates intimidation, with a huge black eye and what looks to be a makeshift cast made of duct tape around his right wrist. The three of them turn to look at you and you get the sense Minnie had the right idea in asking if she should knock first. 
Your little one quickly latches onto your leg, turning timid in the space of a second and you can't really blame her. Part of you wants to turn and run. 
Karen recovers first, breaking away from the two exasperated men to step towards you and going into receptionist mode, "Hi. You were here last week to meet with Matt, right?" 
"Uh, yes, that's right. Is he, uh, available?" You ask, feeling like you no longer know how to speak English. The energy in the room is not a pleasant one and you very much feel like you've interrupted something important.
"He's on a call currently but I'll let him know you are here," Karen replies in a voice far kinder than what she uses to address the men behind her a beat later. She turns to them and points to the office you know is not Matt's. "In there. Now."
Foggy throws up his hands, like he's frustrated with whatever is going on and disappears into the other room. The man you don't know doesn't follow, eyes on you and your daughter as Karen crosses the room to knock on Matt's door before opening it and slipping into the office. You quickly decide you are not going to make eye contact with him, instead ducking your head and putting a comforting hand on Minnie's head. She's practically hidden herself behind your legs, clinging to your pants so tightly you fear they might rip.
"I like your boots," the man says into the quietness. You expect him to sound like gravel, but his gruff voice is rather soft, and you get the feeling he understands how to talk to children "My daughter used to have boots like those."
 Part of you wants to tell the man to not talk to your daughter, but that would be rude and just because he looks like he's been through the ringer doesn't mean he's a bad man. You decide to let her determine how she wants to proceed.
You feel Minnie poke her head out from where she's hidden herself. At first, you don't think she's going to reply, as you know how she is, but she surprises you yet again by mumbling out, "They're froggies." 
"Yeah? You like frogs?"
Mouse somehow tightens her grip, "I like animals." She presses her face against your leg, then admits, a little louder, "we're gonna to the zoo for my birthday."
That makes the man smile, and that changes his whole demeanor. Suddenly he looks friendly and kind and not like he's likely to stab you, "That's a good place to go for your birthday. How old are you gonna be?"
Before she can respond, the door to Matt's office swings open and Karen stalks out, followed by Matt, who seems much less agitated than everyone else. The blonde points to the unknown man, a little scowl on her face, "What did I say?"
The man holds up his hands defensively, stepping away from Karen and towards the office he was previously told to go in, "Alright, alright, I'm going. I'm going." That doesn't seem to help soothe her at all, as she grabs the man by the bicep and frog-marches him to join Foggy, closing the door behind them. 
"They didn't make you wait long, did they?" Matt asks, bringing your attention back to him. There is a cut on his lip that wasn't there the last time you saw him, and your instinct is to ask if he is okay, but you don't know if you are at that level with him yet.
So instead, you address his question, "No, no, we just got here."
He motions back to his office, a smile spreading across his face, and you almost forget about the cut, "Come on back and we can review everything." 
Minnie lets go of your pants only to take your hand again and you lead her into the other room. As you pass Matt, she looks up at him and gives a tiny wave.
"Hi, Mister Matt."
Matt's shoulders visibly relax at her greeting, and you can't help but start to smile, "Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing today?"
"Good! I maded you pictures," she says proudly. That causes him to pause as he starts to follow you into his office. You can tell he is surprised by the news - his voice gets a little choked up when he responds.
"You made me some pictures?"
"They are very good pictures," you advise, squeezing Minnie's hand slightly before letting go, "Do you want to tell Mister Matt what you drew for him?" She nods eagerly, so you point to one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Go sit like a big girl and you can tell him."
She makes a dash for the chair, and you take the time to address Matt, "I'm sorry, I should have called ahead."
He shakes his head, and as he walks past you to go behind the desk, he reaches out and brushes his hand along your arm. A little shiver runs up your spine at the touch and you tell yourself the action was so he could orient himself. "Not a problem, I knew you were coming. How is everything?"
"Everything is good," you reply, a little shyer than you intend to. "I, uh, have everything for you. Is there anything else I need to fill out?"
Matt shakes his head, "Just a signature and date. You've done all the work for me already. I don't think I've ever had to file where I don't need to actually do anything but sign the document. It's a refreshing change."
"Do you know how long it will take to process?" You ask as you move to join Minnie in sitting. "The website gave multiple timelines and I just want to be realistic."
Matt takes his seat with a cocky grin, "Not long at all, I know a few judges I can ask to push it through."
You flush at the idea of him asking a favor to a judge on your account, "That's not necessary, Matt, I don't mind waiting."
He shakes his head, getting that soft look again, "I don't want to wait. I want it to be official in the eyes of the government."  
His words make you feel even warmer, and you distract yourself by pulling the file with all the paperwork out of your purse and pass it over to him. "Minnie's additions are at the bottom of the stack. The last five pages"
His fingers twitch slightly, and you wonder if he wants to flip right to those. You get your answer quickly.
"Minnie, is it okay if I go over the paperwork with your mom before you tell me about your pictures?"
"It's okay!" She replies, her voice much more cheerful now that you are alone with Matt. "Do you needs help?"
Her sweetness makes Matt smile more and he shakes his head, "Not right now, sweetheart. I need to read, and I can do that with my fingers, but after that you can help with some other things."
"Okay," she says happily, kicking her feet a little bit.
You catch her attention and motion to your purse, "Do you want a toy while you wait?" 
She shakes her head and beams up at you, "No thank you, I'm a big girl!"
Both you and Matt chuckle at her declaration and he moves to open the file. 
"There's multiple copies of everything," you tell him as you move onto business, "One printed text and one in Braille for the courts and the same for you. I have the same at home, as well. They are bundled in packets. The court papers are on top, Braille first."
He thanks you then begins to read the forms. Mouse sits up straighter in her chair to try and see what he is doing. She can just peek over the edge, and she watches in fascination as his fingers move over the pages. You wait quietly, not wanting to distract in any way. 
"Everything appears to be in order. We will just need a signature," Matt says after a minute. 
"Should I do that now?" You ask. The response is him offering you a pen, so you lean in to sign the various forms. As you set each document aside, Matt adds his own signature. It is silly how giddy you feel just having the forms finally completed. You don't know how long you've had just blank copies, waiting to be filed. 
"And done," Matt says with a final flick of his pen on the last page. "I'm going to the courthouse on Tuesday, so I'll get it processed then. I'll push to get an updated certificate as quickly as possible."
You have to bite your lip to keep from smiling like a crazy person. This isn't some dream or far off fantasy. Matt isn't just saying he wants to be Minnie's father. He is following through, with urgency. This is something he wants and it's almost surreal for you - you are so used to promises being broken and no one being on the same page as you in your desires. Even if this is all for Minnie and not for you, it is still on the edge of overwhelming for you. 
You never thought you'd be so happy over paperwork. 
"Thank you, Matt," you whisper, leaning back into your seat to sit properly.
Immediately, Minnie parrots you, thanking Matt even though she has no idea what is going on.
"No, thank you. Thank you both," he says, and you wonder if he is also holding back from smiling. He gathers the papers and sets them aside before running his fingers over the folder you gave him and addressing his daughter. "Okay, sweetheart. Do you want to come tell me what you drew?" 
You expect Minnie to stand on the chair and even prepare yourself to balance her, but that does not happen. She hops down and scurries around the desk to be at Matt's side and a moment later, he is pushing his chair back and she is climbing up into his lap. Embarrassment rushes through you - she's only ever behaved like this with you. She actually used to fuss and cry if anyone else tried to hold her. You haven't seen her sit in anyone else's lap since she had a say in who gets to hold her.
"Minnie!" You scold but Matt quickly shakes his head as he helps her up.
"It's okay, I don't mind," he tells you even though he looks completely shocked. If he wasn't her father, you wouldn't allow this, especially with someone so new to her, but he is her father, even if she doesn't know, so you don't tell her to get down.
Instead, you give a stern frown, "Minnie, you still need to ask before climbing on anyone, okay? Can you apologize?" 
Your little girl nods, then looks up at him, "I'm sorry, Mister Matt."
"It's okay, sweetheart. Like I said, I don't mind, but your Mommy is right, and you should ask so I know you are there. Next time, you'll know. Now, your Mommy said there were five pictures. Which do you want to start with?" He asks, scooting his chair back to the desk while wrapping one arm around Minnie's waist to keep her secure. 
Once she's able to, she leans in and picks up the first drawing in the stack. It is the family portrait, and you quickly get your phone out so you can record this interaction as Minnie lays out the picture. She then takes Matt's free hand and guides it to the paper before letting go to point at the circle that represents him.
"This is you," she tells him. He quickly finds where she is pointing and begins to trace the figure. 
"That's me?" And there is definitely more than a little bit of emotion in his voice. 
"Uh-huh, and that is me and Mommy and we're gonna go to see the duckies. Mommy said we can go again. But we're gonna get ice cream too. And a balloon," she says, moving her little finger all over the page. 
You watch Matt's finger follow hers - first over the doodle of himself, then Minnie's, and finally yours. Then, he traces back to the center figure. "We're holding hands?" He asks tentatively.
"Yup!" She answers, popping the p. "Mommy says we gotta hold hands if we go outside." 
Matt licks his lips a little and you see his muscles flex under his jacket as he holds Minnie a little more firmly to his chest, like he doesn't want to let go of her. "That's a good rule." 
"Mommy makes good rules," your little one replies wisely. That makes your ego sing a little. Mouse has always been good at doing what she's told, and you are proud that she understands your rules keep her safe.
Before she moves onto the next picture, you gently prompt her. "Sweetie, was there something you wanted to ask Mister Matt?"
Matt's head jerks up at that, looking right to you with brows slightly knit. Minnie bounces in his lap just a little, squirming so she can turn to look up at him, "I'm gonna go to the zoo! For my birthday! Do you wanna go?"
His lips part in surprise at the question and before you know it, he has both his arms wrapped around Mouse, hugging her to him. She instantly responds, looping her little arms around his neck and squeezing back. He rests his cheek against her head, and you see him slightly rock her from side to side. "I would love to go with you to the zoo, sweetheart."
Minnie giggles into his neck and you one hundred percent know that the transition to suddenly having two parents is not going to be hard for her at all. It might be confusing because Matt won't be living with you, but you have never seen her so comfortable with someone who isn't you. You know it's not just because he gave her a toy. They just click together so well.
You switch from video to your camera so you can sneak as many pictures as you can of Matt and Minnie hugging. They've completely forgotten about you and that is a-okay. 
In this moment, nothing else matters to you - not the strange man in the other office or the devastation a few states over or all the other trivial things that nag you and make your stomach turn. 
Your world is right in front of you and for the first time in a very, very long time, you really, truly believe everything is going to be just fine. 
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writingsfromhome · 1 year ago
Text
Impossibly Real
A/N: cute little story about being in a rough dating world and having a nice neighbour friend.
Part 2
———————————————————
I memorize the face on my phone whilst standing in the middle of my building lobby. I study it as if I hadn’t been staring at his pictures since we both swiped right a couple weeks ago.
“Hot date?” A voice calls out. I look up to the source—one of my neighbours with takeaway in one hand and a case of beer in the other. The smell of his dinner makes my stomach rumble—I’d skipped dinner myself for this 8pm date.
“A very hot date,” I respond. Harry was one of the first people I’d interacted with when I moved to this complex a year and a half ago. He’d helped me move my boxed mattress in and I thanked him with a lukewarm beer. Ever since, we’d pick up on conversation every time we saw each other.
Most of those times were when we’d both be rushing out to work in the morning. Sometimes he’d walk to the tube with me, both of us going in opposite directions. Other times his girlfriend would pick him up.
“Let’s see,” he switches his beer to the other hand and holds his hand out.
I pretend to open the app and look for my date’s profile as if it hadn’t been open for the last three hours. He makes a sound of approval when I pass it over.
“Right?” I grin as he scans the profile.
I wasn’t always lucky in love. When Harry first met me I was fresh out of a 3 year relationship, and the only things to follow were bad dates and lonely nights.
“Likes pizza?” Harry says like he’d just caught sight of the guy’s private pictures.
“Yeah? So what?” I feel my defences go up. “Who doesn’t?”
“Yeah but that’s so…basic.” He hands the phone back. “That’s like saying ‘Drinks tea’ or ‘breathes air’.”
“No it’s not!” I wanted this to be a good one so badly, I wouldn’t hear any of Harry’s slander. “It’s relatable, and shows he’s down to earth.”
Harry groans. “Remind me what you do for work?”
I squint at him, unsure where he was going with his. “Analyst.”
“Ah,” he switches his beer back to his other hand and it snaps me out of the moment. I always lost track of time talking to Harry and this couldn’t be one of those times. I had somewhere to be!
“Ah what?” I glance at the door.
“As an analyst you’re used to reading into things-“
“Piss off!” I shut him down. “I’m leaving now.”
“I’m joking!” Harry calls out. “I’m sure he’s a great guy.”
I don’t respond to him as I walk away but he calls out my name.
“You look great, it’ll be a good date.”
“Fingers crossed,” I echo. “Enjoy your night.”
I find a taxi quickly and sit on my hands the whole way there so I don’t pick at my nails. There was no such thing as out of my league, I remind myself. He was just going to be a guy. A good looking guy.
***
“I’m getting a bit tipsy,” Dave admits. It was half past 9 and we’d had 5 drinks total, one of those being a nervous shot when he hadn’t showed up in the first ten minutes.
“We should get something to eat!” I suggest.
He grimaces. “It’s a bit overpriced in here.”
Oh. He was cheap.
That was rude. I snap out of my darkening thoughts. I couldn’t help it: not only was Dave late, he looked 5 years older than his pictures, which wasn’t a bad thing, but he was also 5 inches shorter than his profile stated.
It was awkward when he came in and I got up to hug him. I’d worn my 3 inch heels expecting to still come to his chest but we’d met at eye level instead. I didn’t want to make it awkward so I had sat down quickly. I regretted wearing these heels. They were chaffing against my feet even whilst sitting.
And the whole evening had been stiff conversation, like rubbing sandpaper against itself. It had ended in a dull evening. He was cute. That was all he had going for him.
“There’s a really good pizza place around here!” I say casually, like I hadn’t Googled the vicinity for an hour after we’d made plans. “I heard it was rated top 10 in the city.
His grimace comes back, it made him more unattractive the more he did it.
“I can go for some chips. There’s probably one down the road, you alright for a walk?”
“Great!” Maybe some fresh air and a change of scenery could spice the night up.
He pays the bill—maybe he wasn’t so cheap, I think. That is until we get to the chips shop and he hangs back for me to order for us. And pay.
I can already imagine retelling this date to my girl friends. They were all engaged or married so my dating stories were always amusing content for our hangouts.
Crossing from 20 to 30 made the stories more tragic than amusing, but I lived to laugh and that’s what I usually did after getting over bad dates like this one.
“It’s a nice night,” Dave says when we get our chips. He douses his in ketchup like a toddler would. Gah!
“It is…”
“Let’s take these outside.”
I’d rather not, with my heels digging into the backs of my feet and the blisters chafing against the fake leather. But I agree.
“So what’s with the pink?” He asks randomly.
“What?” I say over a mouthful of chip. I didn’t care how disgusting I was at this point. He’d done the bill-for-a-bill thing without asking and I’d lost any hope I had for the evening. I may as well be gross.
“The pink, you’ve got it at the bottoms of your hair and your earrings, your lips and your skirt and your heels-“
“I like pink.”
“That’s obvious,” he says dryly. “Is there a story behind it or something? Usually only schoolgirls wear their favourite colour that much.”
And usually only younger boys have fries with they ketchup rather ketchup with their fries, I want to say. But I keep my mouth shut.
“I think it’s overrated that getting older means getting all serious and boring. Pink’s my favourite colour and the world can know it. Be brighter for knowing it too.”
I keep my tone light yet Dave seems to takes my personal philosophy as a direct attack.
“But it’s a bit juvenile isn’t it? You don’t have to be boring just because you’re an adult but no one’s going to take you much seriously all dressed in pink. It’s a bit childish.”
“Not childish enough for you to want to go on a date with me,” I say. My pink hair was on display in my profile as well as many pink outfits throughout my linked Instagram. I know he’d seen it.
“That’s not what I’m talking about, not like that.” He backtracks. His face turns my favourite colour, even in the dark.
“When grown men are obsessed with Star Wars or Lord of the Rings or whatever, nobody bats an eye. They show up with fictional characters on their shirt and tattooed on their arms and it’s all dandy. But you think the world’s going to take me less seriously because I wear a lot of pink?”
“Okay I think there’s been a misunderstanding here.” Dave backs down like I knew he would. I’d known too many boys like him, who charged up when they thought they had an ounce of intellect over me. Reciprocate with even an ounce of assertive energy and they back down like a well-trained dog.
This night was tragic. My hopes up for nothing. And my feet were blistered for no damn reason.
“I think we’ve understood each other just fine.” I wipe my hands on a napkin and toss the rest of my chips away, ignoring the look Dave gives me. “It was a night, I’m going to head home now.”
“Look I-“
“Goodnight.” I walk away. I had no idea what direction but as long as I can end the night with the hope-zapper Dave.
***
On the lift up to my flat I look at myself in the mirror. Dead eyes, flushed and puffy face from the alcohol, and my hair was voluminous from the windy night air. I couldn’t wait to get to my flat and take my stupid heels off. They were so painful they’d now actually gone numb.
My phone rings as I get to my door. Dave. The nerve of that guy!
I put it on silent and fish out my keys but my phone buzzes a second time and I drop them.
“Fuck!” I say just as the door behind me opens.
“Woah!” Harry steps back into his flat after nearly tripping over my crouched figure.
“Ugh sorry,” I stand back up, keys looped around my finger.
“You’re back early.” Harry slowly eyes me from top to bottom. It makes my stomach feel like a washing machine on high. “Nice night with pizza guy?”
“Pizza guy was just like the others.”
I lean against my door and ignore my phone that’s now gone off for the third time in my purse.
“Fair enough. He did say he likes pizza.”
“Don’t make fun of me,” I whine. “I just wasted £30 on shite company.”
“Can I offer you a beer or have you had too many?”
I look down at my watch. It was half past 10, and I had work tomorrow but life was short and I was miserable so I follow Harry in.
“I’ll just toss this later.”
It’s only then I realize Harry had a trash bag in his hands and he was in his boxers and a robe. He rests the bag near his door and motions to the fridge as he walks down his hall. “Grab me one too?”
I’d been in Harry’s flat a few time, once when I baked too many sugar cookies for Christmas and he invited me in to eat with him. Another time when he was having a birthday party. I had thought it was cute his friends had done that for him old school. The last time was when my wifi stopped working one weekend and I had to ask him to use his. That was a nice day, both of us were going through busy season and had worked side by side on our laptops until Harry announced we were losers and should stop working to get dinner and watch a movie. That was one of my favourite days living in this complex so far.
I’m still standing in his kitchen when he comes out with sweatpants.
“Why are you still standing there?”
I look down at my shoes and so does he.
“Don’t you want to take those off?” Harry lifts one brow, confused.
“I’m scared.” I say. I didn’t know what I’d find. I felt like I was standing in a pool of blood.
“Why?” Harry was lucky he didn’t know the fear of taking off awful shoes after a long day of breaking them in. Men were lucky that way.
I shift my heel away from the back of the shoe and pain shoots up. It sounds sticky. I whimper. “Can you get me a chair?”
“What did you wear?” Harry’s staring at them with a mixture of fear and confusion. He carries one of his dining chairs to me. “Those are like, torture heels.”
“Tonight was torture.” I sit down and cross my foot over my knee. I take a deep breath. Harry hovers above me not able to look away. “Here goes nothing.”
I pry the shoe away and nearly cry.
“Oh my god!” Harry shouts. “Yo-you’re bleeding! What the f-“
“Oh my god,” I was dripping onto his floor. “Can I get-“
“Tissue!” Harry’s already throwing me his roll but I knock it away.
“I need help. Getting. To the bathroom.”
“Right right.” Harry kicks my shoe away and leans down so I can wrap my arm around his shoulder. I feel like an injured football player but so much more pathetic as I limp to his bathroom.
He sets me down on his toilet seat and blasts the tub with water.
“Sorry,” I limp to the edge of his bathtub and swing myself so that my feet dangle in. “I didn’t mean to intrude on your night.”
“I’m glad you did,” Harry’s voice still carries a hint of shock. “What is wrong with you? That’s diabolical you wearing shoes like that! What’s wrong with trainers? Or sandals? Don’t girls like strap sandals?”
“It just comes with being a woman okay?” I couldn’t answer all his questions. “I still need to take off the other one.”
I was more scared for my right foot than my left.
“Just…deal with that.”
Harry’s tub is filling with water and it stings everywhere it touches my foot. But especially my heel and all of my toes. I switch the knob to cold.
“Okay,” I take a deep breath. “The other fucking shoe.”
I can feel Harry peering over my shoulder. This one feels glued on and I squeal as I comes off. My foot looked like a bruised and crusted mess.
“Holy sh-“ Harry whispers. I dunk it fast in the running water and nearly topple backwards but Harry catches me with his knee and then stays there so I have somewhere to lean. It was nice.
“Bloody hell,” I swear as my feet sting and paint the water pink. “Genuinely so sorry about this.”
“Don’t be.” Harry shakes his head. “But please toss those shoes in the bin and never wear something like that again.”
“That’s impossible.”
“It’s not. It’s very possible.”
“I love heels! I just need to break these in.”
“They’re breaking you love.”
I feel him stiffen behind me which makes me suddenly self-conscious. I didn’t really read into his words, love was just a term of affection used around my friends. But apparently it wasn’t something Harry used lightly.
“They are. These ones are going in the bin, DNA and all.” I try to continue casually. This was so weird. Weirder than it needed to be given Harry and I were mates at most; I’d met his girlfriend, I didn’t think of him anything more than a neighbourhood friend. We certainly hadn’t hung out outside our flats before.
“Maybe burn them to be sure,” Harry finally responds. His voice is a bit rougher than before. “Don’t want to get accidentally framed with the free DNA.”
“I’m pretty sure I’d be too obvious a murderer to commit anything stealthily. They’d identify the pink-haired giant walking away.”
“You’re not a giant. You’re not even 6 feet.”
“I’m nearly 5’9 which is tall enough for a woman.”
“I don’t think so.” Harry brushes my hair behind my shoulder and a shiver runs up my spine. Maybe I should turn the icy water off. “Plus I like the pink. Makes you more interesting to look at.”
“So I’m not interesting to look at regularly?” I tease. I look up at him and the back of my head hits his thigh.
I see his adam’s apple bob and I suddenly feel vulnerable sitting here like this. I lean forward so my feet are steadied against the tub which is agonizing for my bloody feet but at least I wasn’t leaning against him.
“I said more interesting.”
The room grows quiet and I try not to read into it. Harry thought I was interesting to look at. Okay.
I turn the tap off and the silence in the room becomes unbearable.
“Have you got any plasters?” I turn inch by inch so I don’t slip on the lip of the tub or need more help from Harry. The energy in here was weird and him touching me was going to make it weirder.
“Yeah,” he’s eager to leave only to come back laughing. “They’re actually here. I…”
He opens a drawer and pulls a box out along with a tiny vial.
I take it from him, some sort of ointment oil. Why not.
“Motherf-“ I bite my lip as the ointment stings my cuts. “Why wouldn’t you warn me!”
Harry laughs again and it eases the tension a little. “I thought you knew it would burn!”
“I don’t treat cuts often jeez!”
“Sorry! That friend—you met him at my party, black curly hair, the one who does custom stuff?”
“Oh yeah I remember.”
“I helped him out one summer. I had to hand cut all these signs using one of those exacto blades? Cut my hands up so many times I had to buy something for them after one of them got infected.”
I wrinkle my nose at the idea of an infected cut and douse my other foot in the oil, swearing as I take the pain.
“I have a roll and cotton if you want to bandage your foot?” Harry suggests. “I don’t know if regular plasters cut it.”
“That’s so dramatic,” I usually stuck a couple plasters on and got on with it. But this was also the worst I’d ever had with breaking shoes in.
“Let me-“
“No!” I push Harry’s shoulder away as he leans down with the roll of bandage he’d procured. “Harry do not touch my foot!”
“I’ve dressed grosser,” he holds my heel gently and I try to yank it away again without falling into the tub but it’s impossible. I settle for pushing him away.
“Harry please! I’ve intruded enough stop touching my disgusting foot!”
“I’ve seen you wash it. It’s not disgusting, just bloody. Now stop squirming about!”
“Why are you…” I trail away because he wasn’t listening. He dabs my foot with a cotton pad and then begins the process of bandaging my heel and then my toe. I try not to squirm at how embarrassing this was.
Harry’s gentle and attentive as he moves on to the other foot which should make me feel okay but only adds to the humiliation. We were so not close enough to do this—I don’t even know if I’d do the same for him.
Another part of me knows I would. Despite knowing him in passing, plus a few solid occasions, I could tell Harry was one of the good guys. He was always chivalrous around the building, friendly in any interaction I’d seen with him, loved enough to be thrown a surprise birthday party, and caring enough to always ask about how I was doing. And to do this.
When he glances up I don’t expect it. Our gazes clash and the weird energy from before creeps in again.
“Sorted,” he lets my foot down gently.
“Harry I owe you like…a massive dinner, and drinks are on me forever forward.”
“That’s not necessary,” he chuckles as he puts his little first aid kit back. “Just don’t wear heels like that again please. It’s not worth it.”
“They’re so pretty though,” I sigh. They’re now discarded on the tiled floor, the insides bloody.
“Let’s get you that beer,” he holds a hand out.
“I can’t. I’ve kept you late and you probably-“
“One beer.”
“I don’t want to intrude-“
“Just one,” his tone is gentle but he’s not taking no for an answer.
“Fine!” I admit defeat. He helps me up and together I limp to his couch.
We sit in silence for a bit while we drink. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but the events of the evening play in my head.
“He actually insulted me.” I blurt. Before he can ask questions I explain. “Firstly he was late, then he was droning on and on about shit I don’t even remember anymore. Then he was cheap about food, but because he paid for drinks he got me to pay for chips. Then he said I wear too much pink and nobody would take me seriously as an adult. That it was childish.”
“Really?” Harry leans forward from his end of the couch. “He said all that?”
“Yeah! I said men are allowed to wear their Star Wars shirts and Lord of the Rings bullshite. And when a woman wears more than one article of pink she’s childish?”
“What a prick.”
“I know!”
“You’re too good for someone like that.”
“Thank you,” I sit back, seen and validated.
“The pink makes you cool, stand out in a crowd. He’s just blind to look at you and think that. Or he’s just intimidated.”
“Oh yeah he lied about his height! So I stood there in those stupid pink heels taller than him.”
“That must have got him,” Harry grins. “I actually love that story.”
His words warm me.
“You’re so nice Harry,” I tell him. “Honestly you’re like a gem of a guy.”
“I’m not that nice-“
“Don’t tell me you’re a bad boy or something because you’re a solid good guy. Rare. Never change.”
“Hmph,” he clears his throat.
“Your girlfriend’s lucky. A lot of us have to put up with trolls before we find a good guy like you.”
Harry stays silent. Maybe I’d said too much. Maybe I should stop drinking.
“We broke up. Wasn’t good enough for her.”
Shite. Blistered, bloody, bandaged foot directly in mouth..
“I-I’m sorry. To hear that! Oh my god yeah I guess I haven’t seen her in a while-“
“Yeah been a few months now. I’m mostly over it.”
“How long were you two dating again?”
“Almost 3,” Harry twists his mouth to the side. I’d never seen him look bitter before. “I accepted it, the end of us. Until I hear from a friend she jumped right into another relationship. So…that must have been behind the scenes near the end of our relationship.”
Bitter indeed. “That’s a shitty way to find out too.”
“I wish she was just honest. Y’know like, I met someone else whatever. At least that way I took the hit at once and then got over it. Instead after a month of moving on I just got punched all over again.”
“That’s a dick move.” I agree. “I’ve seen you so many times the last few months why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs, “I didn’t want to bring down the mood. Felt too loaded for a conversation on the lift.”
“You could have saved it for a walking-to-the-tube conversation?”
“Then just part ways after dropping that on you?”
“Isn’t that perfect?” I tease and he covers his face. I change the subject. “My 3.5 year relationship ended when he said he didn’t see me as marriage material.”
“I thought it was a mutual breakup?” Harry asks. I’m surprised he remembers what I told him when I first moved in.
“I lied. I didn’t want you to see me as your pathetically lonely neighbour.”
He laughs at that. At least I’d gotten a smile back on his face. “I thought it was a bit suspicious but I didn’t push it. Every time I saw you when you first moved in it always looked like you cried.”
“Oh my god!” I cover my face. “Don’t tell me that! That’s so embarrassing!”
It was true. I cried for three weeks straight after the breakup but I also thought I was sly enough to get around unnoticed.
“It’s not a big deal! I used to worry about you.”
“That’s another thing that’ll keep me up at night now—but see that’s sweet! You barely knew me and you worried. Like! You were raised right.”
“Sure,” he smiles my way with a laugh in his eyes. He was enjoying making me squirm but it’s this smile, one I’d never seen before directed at me, that made me squirm the most.
“Okay now stop being sweet and kick me out.” I gingerly stand and suck up the fresh pain that comes back.
“You can stay as long a-“
“Harry.” I look at him seriously. “I know we both work demanding jobs, and that’s what we have to do tomorrow morning. It’s past midnight and I should go.”
He sighs and gets up to help me hobble to his door.
“Good thing I live next door—oh my shoes. They’re in your-“
“I’ll get them to you later.” He promises.
“You just want to try them on in private.” I tease as he opens his door. He waits while I fish through my purse again for my keys. I remember then the missed calls from Dave—that feels so long ago.
“I like my feet whole.” He chuckles. “Plus I’m tall enough.”
“Some girls think 6 feet is short.”
“How do you know I’m 6 feet?”
I turn my key and let my door swing open.
“I’m good at telling heights.”
“What’s your secret?”
“Well,” I turn back to him and put my hand on my head. “I get my height and then just measure against the person. I gauge the inches which if I’m close enough-“ Harry moved closer to me so there’s only a few inches between us. “Uhm. If I’m close enough it’s easy to count up or down.”
“So you count up-“
“Three or so inches.” I look up, determined to meet his eye. It was just Harry. I didn’t need to feel weird around my neighbour Harry.
But I can’t look away. I never noticed the depth of his eyes; they’re mesmerizing and I can’t look away.
“It’s a neat party trick.” He says so low, but we’re so close it’s loud as hell to my ears. Or maybe that’s the blood rushing through my head.
“Don’t really go to enough parties to turn it into a trick.” My voice comes out squeaky and I clear my throat. “Mostly useful to compare a dating profile to the real thing.”
“Hm,” he hums. His fingers toy with the pinks of my hair before draping it behind my shoulder.
“I should go.” I say for the millionth time.
He looks at me again and I forget why I should go. His gaze drops to my lips and I feel hot—hotter than the pain on my bloody feet.
“You’re the real thing.”
It’s unconscious, the way I arch up to him. It’s natural, the way he meets me halfway. It’s unforgettable, the way his soft lips feel on mine.
Until I lean my weight on my toes and I’m reminded of my broken feet, this evening, and who I was kissing.
I couldn’t be kissing my neighbour! I saw him nearly every damn day!
“Har-“ I push gently at his chest and he’s quick to move back.
“Sorry I-that-“
“No I’m sorry that was me-“
“We should…”
“Yeah.” I grasp behind my back until my hand touches my doorframe. “Um…thanks for everything. Tonight.”
“Yeah.” Harry’s flushed and somehow more attractive than I’ve ever noticed. He also has a smidge of pink lipstick at the corner of his mouth but I file that away for later. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight!” I turn and quickly close my door, knowing Harry was not going to be the first to leave. Despite my head telling me not to, I turn and peep through the peephole. He’s still leaning against his doorframe, head bowed, running his hand through his hair. I watch him mutter something and then go in. I stay there until the automatic light switches off and then sink to the floor.
Harry. Friendly, funny, neighbour Harry. He’d dressed my bloody feet, served me beer, and then kissed me.
I touch my lips. I wasn’t even mad about it. This was going to be complicated no doubt, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
***
I manage to avoid Harry for a week. Which is a pretty impressive feat given our doors nearly open onto each others.
But he catches me on the lift after work one day. There’s already two others beside me and Harry nearly misses the lift, slipping in just as it’s closing. He does a double take when he sees me.
“Hey.”
“Hey!” Everything was normal. Everything was fine.
“Smart choice of shoes.”
We look down at my Stan Smiths.
“I’ve learned my lesson…for now.” I look back up at the row of numbers. The lift stops on floor 5 and the couple get out.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” He states simply when the door closes.
“I have not!” I finally look at him and nearly lose my breath. When did he become so attractive?!
“We see each other almost every day living the way we do. And you’re telling me we managed to miss each other for a week?”
I shrug, “it’s been a weird week.”
“When did the weird week start?”
Saved by the bell. The doors open to our floors with a ding, but Harry blocks me from my front door.
“Are you serious?” I try to sidestep him but he stays in my path.
“We should talk.”
“We’re talking now.”
“C’mon.” He sighs and moves out of my way. I sigh myself before opening my door and leaving it open behind me. He takes the hint.
“I want to apologize for that night.” Harry says. “I was just feeling vulnerable and it shouldn’t have happened-“
“You’re joking right? I was going on about how good you were and I got a little too into it I think. I totally kissed you so I’m sorry. For making it weird-“
“I kissed you,” Harry tries to correct me.
“No I kissed you so I should apolog-“
“No.” Harry cuts me off.
“Why are we arguing about this?” I throw my hands up. We’re standing in the entryway going back and forth about this. It was stupid. “We’re both sorry. It shouldn’t have happened. Let’s just move on okay?”
“Okay,” he agrees. “So we’re friends? You’re not going to avoid me in the building?”
“No.” I put my hands on my hips. “Cuz I wasn’t avoiding you in the first place.”
He laughs, throwing his head back and my breath catches. I lied. I wasn’t sorry I kissed him but I was sorry it ruined our friendship. Damnit.
“You’re impossible.”
“I thought I was the real thing?” I ask without thinking.
Slightly healed, but still bruised foot, directly in mouth!!!
“Impossible things can be real,” Harry’s mood changes. He stands taller and he takes a step towards me. “Do…do you want us to just move on?”
I don’t know how to answer that.
“I…we live right next to each other Harry. It’s-“
“Unconventional but not impossible.”
“Impossible.”
“But it can still be real.”
I can’t help it. I grin at how serious he was being with his play on words. He was serious about this though. It scared me a little.
“A date.”
“What about it?” I ask.
“We go on a date, see how things are. It they’re weird we go back to friends like we always were. If it’s good…”
“Okay. How about Friday?” I wanted this as much as it seemed like he wanted it. Dating was hard, apps were impossible. This good and kind man standing in front of me was impossible and real.
“Friday’s perfect. Wednesday would be even better.”
“Today is Wednesday.” I say before realizing what he meant.
“It is.”
“Okay. Pick me up at 7?”
“I’ll be on time.” Harry’s grin is contagious.
“Great.” I watch him walk back to the door.
“One favour?” He asks. I ask him what it is. “Wear something pink?”
“Most definitely.” My heart surges and I feel seen. So seen.
I think he was the real thing too. Impossibly real. And possibly something more than neighbourly friends.
Excited and hopeful were an understatement. I couldn’t wait.
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zapreportsblog · 1 year ago
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❝HUSBAND❞
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✭ PAIRING : Edward Cullen x Reader
✭ FANDOM : Twilight
✭ SUMMARY : When Edward proposed to Bella he expected her to accept after all they were mates? Right? Wrong! Bella rejected edwards proposal breaking his undead heart in the process, not being able to withstand the aftermath Edward leaves home; only to return 2 years later but this time he’s married?!
✭ AUTHORS NOTE : I already know there is a story on here called the same story with the same cover (on quotev at least) mines had been edited to a clearer form, (again on quotev) that was my old account, (marveluserlovesmarbel again on quotev was my old and very first account) one of my first actually. If I can remember the login information from it I’d log back in and post my stories from their over here but for now enjoy the remake of said story :)
✭ QUOTEV VERSION
✭ HUSBAND MASTERLIST
✭ CHAPTER TWO : A Surprise Homecoming
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Inside the Cullen home, a sense of curiosity and anticipation hung in the air. The family gathered at the entrance, drawn by Alice's sudden vision and the excitement radiating from her. Her golden eyes sparkled as she clapped her hands together.
"I just had a vision," Alice announced, "Edward is coming back, and he should be arriving any minute now."
Everyone exchanged glances, surprised and eager to see Edward again. Moments later, the sound of an approaching car could be heard, and they watched as Edward pulled into the driveway. As he stepped out of the car, they were taken aback by the presence of a woman in the passenger seat. Edward opened her door, and they exited the vehicle, both smiling warmly at the Cullen family.
Edward greeted his siblings with hugs and was bombarded with questions about his trip. Carlisle suggested they continue the conversation inside, and they all moved into the house.
Once inside, Edward introduced the woman beside him. "Everyone, this is (Y/n). We got married."
The room fell into stunned silence. Carlisle was the first to break it, his face a mixture of surprise and happiness. "Edward, this is wonderful news, but since when did you get married?"
Edward explained, "We got married a year ago."
Alice gasped, fake outrage coloring her tone. "And you didn't let me plan your wedding? Unacceptable!"
Laughter rippled through the room as they realized Alice was teasing. Edward smiled, "Honestly, after Bella, I didn't expect to find love again."
Esme stepped forward, her motherly warmth enveloping them. "Well, I'm happy you did, son." She turned to (Y/n) and asked, "Now, how did you two come to be?"
(Y/n) laughed, her eyes sparkling. "I tried to kill him."
Bewildered looks crossed the faces of the Cullen family. Jasper scoffed and nodded. "That explains it."
”I’m sorry what?!”
”What can I say, it’s in my blood to hunt creatures like Edward,” (y/n) says with a laugh.
“Hunt? Are you a hunter?” Esme asked with slight hesitation.
”Yeah. My last name was Winchester but i guess it’s now (Y/n) Winchester Cullen, decided to keep my last name you know.”
Jasper can’t help but scoff, “Figures.”
Everyone was still puzzled, and Jasper elaborated, "The Winchesters are a hot-blooded family of hunters."
Edward added, "We're also mates."
Rosalie, never one to hide her feelings about Bella, couldn't help but ask, "Wait, aren't you and Bella mates?"
Edward explained, "When I met Bella, it was her blood that called out to me. She was my blood singer, which is why I felt such a strong connection to her. I deluded myself into thinking I loved her for her. But when I met (Y/n), I instantly felt the mate bond."
The family began to understand, and the room filled with smiles and warm welcomes for (Y/n). It was a surprising turn of events, and everyone felt a sense of joy and acceptance as they welcomed Edward and his new love back into their immortal lives.
As the Cullen family settled into their cozy living room, the girls - Alice, Esme, Rosalie, and (Y/n) - conspired to have some girl talk out on the balcony. They silently made their way outside, leaving the boys to their own devices.
On the balcony, a sense of camaraderie and curiosity enveloped the girls. Esme leaned against the railing, looking at (Y/n) with a warm smile. "So, (Y/n), how did you find out that Edward was a vampire?"
(Y/n) leaned against the balcony and looked out at the starry night sky. "He did a good job hiding it at first, but after a few weeks, I noticed something unusual. One day, he reached out for something, and his hand caught the sunlight, causing it to sparkle like diamonds. I couldn't ignore that."
Rosalie's eyebrows arched in interest. "And what did you do next?"
(Y/n) chuckled. "I did what any person would do in this situation—I did some research. I found out about the myth of vampires sparkling in the sunlight, and it all started to make sense."
Esme nodded, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. "You were pretty observant."
(Y/n) shrugged. "I guess I've always had a knack for details."
Rosalie, intrigued by the prospect of conversation, leaned in closer. "Have you encountered more of our kind?"
(Y/n) thought for a moment before responding. "I've hunted vampires, but they're of different vampiric natures. Some of them don't sparkle, instead, they burn in the sunlight. Others have special jewelry that allows them to go into the sunlight without a problem."
Alice leaned forward, her golden eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Tell us more about the supernatural creatures you've encountered."
(Y/n) began to share stories of her encounters with various supernatural beings, including werewolves, shape-shifters, and even ancient mythical creatures. The girls listened with rapt attention, enjoying the opportunity to learn about (Y/n)'s adventurous life.
Back in the living room, the boys decided to go on a hunt, giving the girls some privacy. Edward proposed the idea, and Emmett, Carlisle, and Jasper readily agreed. With their departure, the girls had their opportunity to get to know (y/n) better.
In the heart of the dark woods, the Cullen brothers and father continued their hunt. Jasper, after a moment of contemplation, decided to address the questions that had been gnawing at him. He turned to Edward and said, "You look well."
Edward chuckled, his voice a wry whisper. "What's with the small talk, Jasper? You know I can hear your thoughts going a million miles a minute."
Jasper sighed, his concern evident. "Why a hunter, Edward? I know she's your mate, but you could've pulled away."
Edward's eyes, glinting like polished onyx in the moonlight, met Jasper's. "You know I wouldn't have been able to pull away if I felt the pull."
Jasper persisted, his voice tinged with worry. "She's a hunter, Edward. She's dangerous."
Edward countered, "And I'm a vampire. I can be dangerous too."
Emmett, who had been silently listening, finally chimed in. "I mean, they both can kill each other at the end of the day. Can't we move on from this topic?"
Jasper was unrelenting. "No, he's putting us all in danger. Aside from her being the very thing that kills us, she's also a human."
Edward's brow furrowed, and he asked, "What's your problem, Jasper?"
Jasper's voice grew more serious. "Listen, you've never faced a Winchester before. I have. Trust me, you don't want to cross their path."
Before the argument could escalate any further, Carlisle intervened. "Gentlemen, I suggest we drop this argument for now. I see something." He pointed toward a deer approaching through the trees, reminding them of the primary purpose of their venture. The brothers refocused their attention on the hunt, leaving their concerns and debates for another time.
The Cullen brothers and father, fresh from their successful hunt, made their way back to the house. Emmett carried the lifeless deer, a triumph in his strong arms. As they approached the house, their senses picked up the unmistakable scent of a familiar visitor. Bella Swan had arrived, her red beat-up pickup truck parked near the house.
Bella hesitated by the truck, her posture awkward and uncertain. She called out to Edward, "Hey, Edward. It's been a while."
Edward's face remained a mask of emotionless grace, but he kindly greeted her with a simple, "Hello, Bella."
Bella continued, "I didn't believe Charlie when he said he saw you passing through Forks. He said he saw you with someone. I take it you've brought a friend?"
Before Edward could answer, (Y/n) appeared, coming outside with a warm smile to greet him and the others. She rushed into Edward's arms, showering him with affectionate kisses on the face.
"My love," (Y/n) said, her voice filled with both relief and happiness. "You've been gone for so long, I got worried."
Edward's stoic facade softened as he held (Y/n) close, returning her affection with a warm embrace. Bella watched their reunion with a mix of emotions, perhaps sensing that the connection between Edward and (Y/n) was deeper and more profound than she had ever experienced with him.
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