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grapenehifics · 7 months ago

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Countdown to Chapter One!

My fellow Obikins: I am very, VERY excited to share my next fic with you. Some of you may remember a fic of mine called An Uncivil War, the first chapter of which I posted on AO3 almost exactly a year ago, in May of 2023, and wrapped up that July. At the time, I mentioned to a number of people in the comments that I was already partway through the sequel (An Uncivil War is listed as part one of a three-part series, Can't Stop the Suns), and that I hoped to have Part II ready to go by end of 2023.

Well, that obviously didn't happen. I started looking at February 2024. That didn't happen either. I pushed it to April. April has come and gone. May, though! May I am going to make happen! May 27th, 2024, to be exact. Chapter one of Pick Up the Pieces, a.k.a. part 2 of Can't Stop the Suns, a.k.a. the sequel to An Uncivil War, a.k.a. the thing I have been writing on and off for more than three years now, is going up on AO3. (Excerpt and way more ramblings below the cut.)

A) I wanted to make this announcement in advance because I'm just really excited to share this fic. Parts of it I've posted on Tumblr as WIP Wednesdays, but most of it I've tried to keep under wraps until it's ready and, frankly, I really want to talk about it!

B) @palfriendpatine66 specifically asked for a heads-up before I started posting, but I figured I'd share publicly in case anyone else has the same desire to read (or re-read) part one before starting part two. May 27th is the day!

I do want to say, though - prior knowledge of An Uncivil War is NOT required to understand or enjoy this fic. If you haven't read An Uncivil War, I would really love it if you did! I'm enormously proud of it and love, love, love talking about it. But I also don't want anyone to not give Pick Up the Pieces a try, assuming they were otherwise interested, because they're worried they won't understand what's going on. If you want to jump in, make sure you read the tags and the summary, and by the time you get to chapter three you should have a pretty good grounding in what happened previously. Obviously there are some little details here and there you'll miss but for the most part you should be okay. I did try to make it as accessible as possible.

C) Thirdly - mostly as a reward for reading this far - I thought it would be fun, over the next three Wednesdays, to give a sneak peek of one of the later chapters, because I've really missed doing regular WIP Wednesdays for this fic (for the aforementioned secrecy reasons).

The main part of the fic is set during what would have been the final year of the Clone Wars, except we take a departure from canon during the season 5 episode The Wrong Jedi and diverge off-course from there. Mixed in with that, though, are flashback chapters, covering some portion of Anakin's years as Obi-Wan's Padawan, which have just been a blast to write. They go in roughly chronological order, and this one in particular is set when Anakin is 17. I'll post a little bit today, the next part a week from today, the final section the week after that, and then you'll get the rest of it when chapter ten goes up in the actual fic :)

Chapter Ten preview starts below:

“Uh…” Anakin looked down at his cards and bit his lip. “Hit me?” he asked tentatively. The three other players around the table blinked slowly back at him. He reached out and flipped the top card of the table deck over, letting the rest of the players see it. “Damnit,” he hissed through his teeth.

“Tough luck, boy,” boomed the Besalisk on Anakin’s right, the one he was most worried about getting a peek at his cards. “That makes twenty-two.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Anakin snapped, frustrated. He tossed his cards face-down in front of him. “Don’t remind me.”

Anakin was losing, and quite badly at that. He really needed to slow down and stop the bleeding or Obi-Wan was going to catch him not only gambling, but totally out of credits, too, and he would not be happy about it.

“I’m going to take a break,” Anakin said suddenly, standing up so quickly his chair squeaked. “I’ll sit out this round. Be right back.” He scooped the (very meager) pile of credits he had left to his name into his hand and pocketed them before walking away. What he really wanted to do was take a quick minute to check the chronometer strapped to his wrist without any of them seeing him do it, but needing to take a walk was as good an excuse as any.

He didn’t leave the Castle (Takodana was a little too humid for Anakin’s liking), just took a slow lap around the edges of it, checking out the other gambling tables, the billiards games, the tourists, the regulars, the spacers, the spice runners, the spice addicts, the smugglers. The people who, if he hadn’t become a Jedi, probably would have been his friends and his enemies, his rivals, his contemporaries. His lovers, maybe.

The lower levels of Takodana Castle had once been an ancient Jedi temple, a fact Obi-Wan had mentioned rather a few more times than strictly necessary on their trip over from Coruscant. It had been built on the site of an even more ancient battleground, where Jedi and Sith had fought one another centuries – maybe a millennia – ago. The Jedi had won, that time, and built the original Takodana Temple as a kind of memorial. Anakin let the tips of his fingers trail over the wet, warm stone walls as he walked, feeling to see if he could catch any whispers of the old voices. Old hurts, old betrayals, old war wounds…

He had started doing this thing, about a year or so back. He had discovered, largely by accident (not that Jedi were supposed to believe in accidents, just The Will of the Force, and all that), that he could, rather paradoxically, up the ante on his meditation skills by upping the ante on his distractions. He’d been filling in for Obi-Wan, who was supposed to have been taking a turn sitting in with a group of the youngest Younglings but had been called away at the last minute (or so he had said, at least; Anakin still wasn’t totally sure he believed him). Anakin had tried to keep to the Younglings’ schedule, which included a quarter of an hour of daily mandated meditation time. Younglings not being particularly good at meditation (they were worse at it than Anakin was, which was really saying something), they’d lasted only about half that time before starting to get fidgety. It had started small – a few coughs here and there, a couple of giggles, wiggling on their mats – and then had progressed from there to full-blown chaos. Anakin was supposed to be setting an example, though, and was determined to sit still, keep his eyes closed, and ignore everything that wasn’t an outright cry for medical attention until the allotted time was up.

What he had found, though, was that it was actually one of his better meditation sessions. The noisier the room got, the more relaxed Anakin got. He’d eventually opened his eyes to find one Youngling on his lap, another chewing on his Padawan braid, and a third hanging from the ceiling rafters, but had felt…calm and at peace and a little floaty, but also grounded, connected to the Force, the air, even the children. He’d asked Obi-Wan about it later that night over dinner. Obi-Wan had suggested they meditate over it, which made Anakin roll his eyes because he already had meditated today, that was the whole thing he wanted to talk to Obi-Wan about, and how much meditation did a person need every day, really? But after they ate he’d dutifully sat down across from Obi-Wan and closed his eyes anyway. Obi-Wan had reached out and taken Anakin’s hands in his, which almost made up for the double meditation session. (Almost.)

And then, just as Anakin was starting to settle into something resembling regulating his breathing, something hard and poky had slammed into the side of his head.

“Ow!” he’d said, reflexively, and opened his eyes. Obi-Wan’s datapad was lying on the floor beside him. Obi-Wan himself was still sitting serenely, holding Anakin’s hands.

“What the kriff did you do that for?” Anakin demanded.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan had said, without opening his eyes, “I thought you said you liked having distractions while you meditated.”

“Not painful ones!” Anakin shot back.

“Apologies.” The holopad, from the floor, flicked on and started replaying whatever the last thing either of them had watched on it, which happened to be a nature documentary about tee-muss. “Is that better?”

Anakin grumbled about it, but he had, sort of, asked for this, and admitting defeat now would be both embarrassing and would necessitate him letting go of Obi-Wan’s hands, so he closed his eyes and tried again.

Of course, the first thing he had to do was release the pain in his head into the Force, but once he’d done that, he found that, once again, sifting through his distractions was easier when he actually had distractions to sift through. He let the migratory patterns of wild tee-muss go, and felt Obi-Wan squeeze his hands. “Good, Anakin,” he murmured softly, so quietly Anakin almost couldn’t hear him over the documentary narrator. “That’s very good.” (Anakin had replayed the moment in his head, putting that voice of Obi-Wan’s into different and much more…naked contexts, so many times since then that he could get hard just thinking about it, now.)

So Anakin had started to experiment, on and off. He turned the holoprojector on in their rooms while he was meditating. He sat in the corner of the refectory and meditated during mealtimes. Once, he tried meditating during galactic history class, but his teacher had ratted him out to Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan had told him not to do that anymore. And, now, he wanted to see if he could do it while inside Takodana Castle on a bustling summer afternoon.

To be continued next Wednesday!

#obikin #wip wednesday #an uncivil war #pick up the pieces

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afreakingdork · 5 months ago

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I would like to share something that happened to me I thought was funny.

I was just going about my day when I started thinking about Weak Spot sequel, Soft Spot(? I hope I got that right, I can’t remember atm), how I’m eager and giddy waiting for its release. Once again reminding myself to be patient, the thought popped into my head that this feels like waiting for Donnie and Reader to return from their honeymoon 😆

I got a giggle from it I hope you do too. I also hope your break is going well and am sending you lots of love

(Disclaimer: I am strongly expressing that this is absolutely in NO F*CKING way asking for when you’ll be releasing it. There is no need for even a comment on it so once you’ve finished reading this disclaimer, tear it up, burn it and forget it.)

Howdy-o cringey!

Soft Spot is indeed the name of Weak Spot's sequel! Great job remembering! Omigosh, you are so freaking right; it's totally like we're waiting for them to get back! I love that! I'm stealing that!

My breaks been something! I just finished my mega 3 week birthday gauntlet (/pos) and my best friend was then here for two more weeks past that (/posx3) so I've been going non-stop and only just this week did I have my first break! I did have a minor meltdown (all good) but it was because I wasn't working on fics, which is hilarious. I've always said that I don't write because I want to, but because I have to! I've been doing a lot of editing on a mysterious (only because I haven't talked about it) teen rated Donnie x reader that I have a feeling will be clearing it's final hurdle and will start posting soon! It's basically done and will be 20 chapters.

For Soft Spot, I need to re-watch a few movies to make sure I've got my facts and inspiration down. I've already done a whole bit where I watched Father of the Bride one and two and had some folks who know more about the whole pregnancy song and dance and were super gracious let me absolutely annihilate them taking notes (y'all are the best @morning-sun-brah @geminiforest @grumpytheunicorn and @thepinkpanther83 sorry I'm in a shout out sort of mood!) I've assembled the timeline (mostly) and have a feeling that bad boy will start coming out next month!

Thanks for checking in and I'm sending that love right back! Also I love being the yellow birb struck with love!

P.S. I didn't feel pressured at all 😉

#ask #update

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hetalia-club · 11 months ago

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I’m going to vent some more about my ex because it’s good therapy lol

Feel free to keep scrolling.

Lol so remember my terrible abusive ex I broke up with last month that I vented on here about? Two years ago I made a reddit post on AITH because we got into this argument about eating thanksgiving at each others families houses and how he would get mad at me when I wouldn't eat a huge meal at his family's house but then he didn't eat at my families house (Which is honestly such a shame because my family's food is gas) and I also make some of the food at our thanksgiving so by the time I would get there to eat I wouldn't be hungry because I had just been guilted into eating a full plate an hour before.

I deleted the post because it blew up like crazy and everyone was calling him controlling and abusive and I was thinking "that seems a little much for a thanksgiving argument" I was getting a bunch of DMs of people telling me I needed to dump him and that if I needed help I could go to a clinic and I was just like "Tf are these people talking about!? This was just an argument about thanksgiving food…" I just think it's funny the answers were right there in front of me of thousands of strangers telling me I was in an abusive relationship and I ignored it. You truly don't know what it's like to be in a relationship like that until you're in one. You will convince yourself everything is fine and that everyone else is crazy for thinking that he's crazy. Just look at some of these comments lol

this is just a few of them. I remembered this post and decided to go back and re-read the comments after recognizing that he was abusive. I remember defending him so hard in my DMs being like “no you don’t understand you got him all wrong” turns out they had him all right lol and I was the delusional one. I’ve been doing along of self reflection and what not lately I’ve been trying to ever who I was before we got together because I feel like I was a different person. Less of a people pleaser, less emotional, less worried about what others think of me. I’m having to re-write my brain chemistry I feel. I still have to stop myself because I will ask myself “does ‘ex’ like when I do this?” And I have to remind myself it doesn’t matter what he likes anymore.

When we lived together he would insist i did all the cooking which is fine because I’m good at cooking. But the thing is I can actually only cook Italian American food, the reason for that is because it’s my favorite food and it’s all I ever want to eat. So it’s the only thing I make that’s any good. Because you know… it’s what i like so it’s what I make. Well about 2 years into our relationship he decides he’s going on a no carb diet. Which was an issue because I am on an all carb diet lol… I made food as normal for awhile and then one day he just went absolutely ballistic because he said I was abusing him because I wasn’t respecting his diet because I kept making pasta, which I wasn’t making pasta every day obviously… I didn’t make Italian every day but at least 2 times a week. but on this particular day I had made some kind of pasta but I had made him zucchini noodles, I even went out and bought a little thing to shred them with that day. It was probaly chicken parm because I eat that at least once a week. I once went three weeks with eating chicken parm every day and it was heaven . But apparently he didn’t like them and instead of being rational and just saying he didn’t like them he decided to have a toddler level fit because he didn’t what what I made. I was just like “okay then don’t eat it l…” he proceeded to not speak to me for three days and he even shoulder checked me in the hall way when he walked past me and it had me seeing red. So ever since then when I would make pasta I would make him a separate dinner which was so annoying. Because like he’s a grown fucking man… I shouldn’t have to make him a separate dinner it’s not my fault he decided to go on a no carb diet for no reason probably just to try and get me to stop making pasta which he never really liked (this was huge red flag and I should have known it would never work) he should have to deal with that himself I’m not his mom or his wife so i shouldn’t have just been like “okay learn how to cook then man child” but I’m too nice of a person and the guilt would have made me lose sleep. Because he would have just eaten cheese and lunch meat like a dumb ass because if I didn’t cook for him that’s what he would eat because he was an ACTUAL man child and couldn’t cook anything but scrambled eggs even then he wouldn’t use grease or butter so they would just fuse with the pan and I had to scrub it off because he would just put it in the dishwasher as if that was going to do anything.

One time I had made like a vegan butternut squash soup because he likes butternut squash, I don’t I think it’s gnarly. I even whipped out an emulsion blender for it, real fancy like. Well he decided he wanted chicken with it for some unknown reason even though HE requested it for dinner so he knew no meat was involved. so he decided to throw a frozen chicken tender into a pan and he cooked it until it was trawled and that shit was like not even close to cooked and he was going to eat it so I had to stop eating, get up and recook his chicken because he would have given himself food poisoning. I didn’t even get so much of a thank you for possible saving his stupid life and he just ate it and left the pan with burnt bits for me to scrub because he again didn’t oil the pan so the chicken stuck to it and burnt onto the pan.

You may read this and think “omg how do you not realize this is abuse” well that’s because that was just how I lived for 5 years. It had gotten normal I understood how he was and he always told me “this is just how I am” so I figured “who would I be to change him if that’s his personality?” Now I do truly believe that is his real personality and he’ll never change. Mostly because when we broke up he straight told me “this is how I am I’m not changing for you or anyone” like it was something to be proud of. He truly believes the break up is something that can be reversed. I’m not sure if he even thinks we’re still broken up if that makes sense. He texted me as asked me if I wanted to go out to diner and I was like “lol no?” And he was like “I miss you though don’t you miss me?” And I was like “lol…no?” Like what is there to miss my guy? Like of course you miss me I did everything for you. I knew the second he realized “oh shit now I have to clean and cook?” he would want me back. I called it. I knew it was coming. It was a lot sooner than I expected tbh though…

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wishing-stones · 2 years ago

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Hello friend!!! I just finished reading your fic on AO3 STRAIGHT through cause it’s so good and I have plans to go back and re-read so I can comment on EVERY chapter - congrats on infecting my brain with these AU boys. They live in my head rent-free now and keep eating all my snacks.

If u don’t mind, what are their feelings about encountering children? Like if Ren had a young cousin or something? (Apologies if this has been asked previously, I’m still working my way backwards through your blog!!!)

Charge them rent, those freeloaders get enough living in my head rent-free, they need to pony up if they're going to other places.

This one hasn't been asked before. If the small human is related to Ren, they're all civil, polite, and in some cases, even really good with kids; Nightmare and Axe are best with them, while Dust and Cross are less so. Everyone else falls somewhere in the middle, but no one would be overly bothered by it. Any member of Ren's immediate family is more or less a member of theirs when they're around.

To an unrelated kid, however:

Killer is awkward. His encounters with human children have not been the greatest, so he's pretty short and prickly. Once he's deemed them not a threat, though, he's a little less hostile and a little more... almost hesitantly protective. He'd try to find their guardian first, but if one isn't present, he unconsciously steps up to the role until someone else takes it from him. He speaks to kids like he speaks to everyone else, but sort of curbs his vulgarity for it. Dust is the worst with kids. He doesn't much like them, but tolerates them if they aren't being a threat. He sits around and silently watches and protects if no one else is available to, and generally tunes out kid-level jabbering. He doesn't say or do a whole lot, but as long as they aren't a threat to him, he's pretty much unendingly patient. Axe is a big ol' teddy bear for kids who don't pose a threat to him. He's gentle, he's calm, he's indulgent, and he's protective. He gives piggyback rides, plays with them, and can carry a small child without waking them up. He's phenomenal with kids, and will happily babysit. Cross isn't... so great with kids, but he's not mean... he's just awkward. He doesn't know how to behave around them or talk to them, really, but he's a good protector since he knows how to do that, at least. Kids also make him a little morose, because... well, his best friend was perpetually a child, and despite everything that happened to him... he misses his Frisk. IIRC, Baggs is a little awkward around kids in general. He doesn't handle them terribly well, since children are often alarmingly intuitive and he doesn't like that. His preferred method of dealing with them is to give them a lollypop and stick them in a room with something to watch so they're both safe and not bothering him. He's fantastic with them if he's needed for medical care, though, and talks to them very calmly and simply about whatever is going on that needs treatment. Not great for general care of a child, but still gentle. Nightmare, shockingly, is absolutely phenomenal with children. He's played "monster under the bed" for a fair handful of humans before... and that has sometimes turned into "monster under the bed that protects kid from outside horrors" if their home life is... less than ideal. Nightmare doesn't like to see kids suffering much beyond petty bad dreams because it reminds him of times he'd rather not remember. He believes the innocence of children should be protected until they're capable of handling reality mentally. He's deeply protective, indulgent, patient, attentive, and sometimes even playful. This isn't something he tends to hide, either-- everyone knows he's great with kids... They just might not understand why. That bit, he's pretty cagey about.

#k answers #k headcanons #feat. r&r crew #readmore for length as always #the one about nm specifically you can rip from my cold dead hands

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littlerequiem · 18 days ago

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FLO!

I have been meaning to send this message for a damn long time, but my job tried to kill me in the past weeks, so I did not find the mental sanity to settle and write this properly, until maybe now. My name is Feris and I found "We mourned the sea" by chance when you first posted it, as I had found myself in need of a good fix of Levi Ackerman (in case it wasn't clear, I too am one of the countless girls who could not help but fall for the damn guy after watching/reading AoT).

I think you and I need to sit down and have a serious talk. So picture me grabbing you by the shoulders and sitting you down on a chair.

Girl, you write fantastically. Majestically.

And I don't say this lightly. I mean this in the most aggressively honest way, one that I am not sure I can convey through a written rant.

You keep on mentioning how English is not your first language, and yet your stories flow so. Damn. Smoothly. It's the kind of writing you never get tired of, the kind of writing that never gets you lost or confused, because it is simple but perfectly constructed, and I believe it's a combination that conveys so much.

I always thought of writing as something similar to cooking: a combination of ingredients, one that can be easily messed up at times. Too much of something might make the final product difficult to digest, not enough of something else might result in a bland taste... and so on.

In the end, it's all a matter of taste of course, but in my opinion you have it all. The form, the vocabulary, the plots*, the portrayal of the characters... I honestly hope writing is you real job. (*I am using the plural here because, in between the two chapters of "We mourned the sea", I got so starved for the way you write Levi that I might have gone and devoured "We all bleed red" too... 😅)

So, what I mean to say here, is this: creativity (in all its applications) is a fickle beast. At times, no matter how much we have going on in our heads, it feels absurdly difficult to take it out and put it in the material world. So, you'll get no pressure from me when it come to timings... but know that, whenever you'll write something, I'll be there.

And I'll read it. And, something tells me, I'll love it.

So, thank you for all your stories and the heart that you put in them, Flo. I am quite happy chance brought me to your blog ❤️

HELLO LOVELY FERIS, I hope you're doing well and better with the insanity of work (felt). Your ask has been sitting in my drafts for like 10 days. I am so sorry for only giving you an answer now but I kept on re-reading this and getting too flustered to answer you but here I am at last, to scream at you for your kindness!!!!!

I can't even begin to thank you enough for taking time out of your day not only to read several of my stories, but to leave me such a well-crafted comment. Like HFJFNKDFN, you're an absolute treasure, you know that?

Comparing writing to cooking is a really apt comparison, it reminds me how I'm able to like so many flavours of foods without overshadowing another: I can enjoy a sweet dish just as much as I can enjoy a spicy dish. That is to say, I think in writing, it's easy to compare and feel insecure, so the fact that you like my unique combination of ingredients just makes me... so beyond happy.

(And I'm happy I could provide a fixer for the Levi Ackerman phenomenon, btw. He's just a delight to write.)

There's been times in the last months where I've really struggled with my writing (the good old 'writer's block' curse, as you will) but I just know that I will come back to all the lovely things you said the next time I do. And while creative writing isn't part of my job yet, it's a goal of mine for it to be, so just know you've given me wings to continue to pursue that.

I guess this is my rant-y way of saying: THANK YOU <3 Please know how appreciated your words have been, I wish you all the best. I also hope you will enjoy what's to come in both WABR and WMTS, hehe.

KISSING YOU ACROSS MY SCREEN, MWAH!!

#flo has mail.#feedback #ferisfantom

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thatonetwig · 7 months ago

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Just thought of the Purple Guy DLC lending their voices over to Yamaha or some other big company to be turned into Vocal Synths.

When Void and Hood compose each other's Demo Songs and just got done listening to them:

"So? How'd ya like the song? Did a pretty good job with your voice, right?", Void asked.

Hood thought for a moment while humming.

"Well, I liked the beat and the instrumental, but the reverb you tried to add just doesn't fit with my voice at all. Sounds like I'm drowning." Hood said, critiquing him.

"How'd I do with yours?"

Void thought while humming just like him.

"The instrumentals and lyrics were decent, but- man, what did you do with my voice?", Void asked.

"Huh?"

"I mean- come on! My voicebank has all of these cool features for a reason! You could've at least used one of them! I sound so mundane!", he complained.

"Guess that says a lot about our tuning styles, right?", Hood said.

"Yep. Swap voicebanks and compose another demo song?", Void proposed.

"Yes. Absolutely."

Psychic, on the other hand:

"Oh, Psy! Can you come down here for a second?", Girlfriend shouted.

Psychic immediately came downstairs and into the dining room where she was at.

"Yes?"

"Have a seat, I have a surprise for you!", she said excitedly while holding up a pair of headphones.

Psychic was unsure of where this was going, but he still sat down regardless to hear Girlfriend's "surprise".

Once he got comfortable in the chair, Girlfriend handed him the headphones, and he put them on before Girlfriend played a song on her phone.

The song began with a guitar solo before shifting into intense drums with a second guitar. As Psychic listened, he thought about how familiar it sounded to him; he had heard many rock songs before, but something about this one just triggered a certain feeling inside of him.

In the middle of these thoughts, however, he heard a voice non other than his own begin to sing.

("Oh, so my demo song finally came out."), he thought.

However, when he heard himself beginning to beatbox, it immediately confirmed almost all of his suspicions. He took the headphones off and stared at Girlfriend with wide eyes as she recorded him with her phone.

"Was my demo song...composed by Daddy Dearest?", he asked.

"Yep! You should've seen your face! That's why I'm recording you! Daddy wanted to be here to see how you'd react, but since he couldn't, he took it upon me to show you and get it for him!", Girlfriend exclaimed.

"He...made a song...for me? Even in his retirement?", Psychic asked once again, still in shock.

"Yeah! And he sure did a good job getting the crowds hyped up for you! Just look!", she said while handing him her phone with the song comments.

["Ahhh!!! I'm already so excited for his voicebank! And Daddy Dearest made this?! Awesome!"]

["Can't wait to see what kind of songs people make with him!"]

["I love Psychic's tuning! Really reminds me of how Daddy Dearest sings!"]

As Psychic read through more and more commenters expressing their excitement for his voicebank, he eventually got up and handed Girlfriend back her phone.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to go find Dearest and thank him...it's the least I could do."

"Wait! I almost forgot to give you this!", Girlfriend shouted before tossing him a piece of paper.

Psychic caught it with his telekinesis and unfolded it to see a serial code written on it.

"What's this for?"

"Oh, that's just the serial code to his voicebank!"

"Huh?"

"Daddy didn't tell you that he also lent his voice over to be made into a voicebank, and he wants you to compose the demo song for it like he did for yours.", she explained.

Psychic looked down at the serial code again before re-folding the paper and putting it into his pocket.

"I won't let him down."

#fnf hood #fnf void #fnf psychic #vocaloid #vocal synth #crossover #i wanted an excuse to write my idea of these guys being turned into commercially distributed vocal synths

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feekins · 1 year ago

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wheeeeee ch 1 - the prologue to another wild arc! here are my thoughts and things and whatever translation weirdness I find as I begin my re-read of Trigun Maximum vol 4!

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

I love how domestic and hopeful this volume starts out. the mounting horror and hardship makes you appreciate such peaceful times that much more =u=

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

this feels rly important, too, how hope starts sinking in for Wolfwood when he learns about how they've been sending these transmissions back to Earth for almost a century. imo the Overhaul's wording choices do a better job at conveying that hopeful infiltration - 'WILL this happen' VS 'CAN this happen' and then we have Wolfwood's prayer.

both translations have an "amen" on the very next page, so either way, you get the sense that there's a prayer going on...but I think that the Overhaul wording it like a prayer gives what Wolfwood says here more impact, at least for me. Dark Horse's translation feels...idk, like Wolfwood's still clinging to some cynicism? like...the focus isn't so much on hope as it is on staying alive. the Overhaul, meanwhile, gives you this sense that something within Wolfwood is changing. he still has his doubts, still has his guilt, but now, genuine hope has taken root.

that's what it feels like to me, anyway.

so then HOW!!! FKING!!! BEAUTIFUL IS IT!!! that the very next thing we see is Earth establishing contact!!!!!!!! 🥹

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

interesting translation discrepancy here - acknowledgment/being aware of one another VS reuniting.

this difference in which bits are attributed to who is interesting, too. here's how Dark Horse puts it...

...VS how it is in the Overhaul.

waaahhhhhhhh Sempaiiiiii 😭

something I didn't catch previously - here we see an illustration of some more of Vash and/or Knives' abilities as plants: ① sensing one another (and/or their angel arm use?) from extreme distances and ② an angel arm affecting minute things (like causing a glass to crack) from an extreme distance......or, y'know, taking out a fucking satellite.

oh and I noticed that Dark Horse p consistently has Knives referring to humans as "trash" or "garbage" whereas in the Overhaul, he consistently calls us "insects". that's an interesting distinction - waste or that which is dirty VS pests that are beneath him and in need of extermination.

(side-note: I believe there's a Studio Orange interview transcript where they talk about tristamp Knives seeing humans as insects?)

no comment here, rly - just putting these up for comparison

"people will worry" VS "I don't want to make people worry" - the Overhaul doing a better job showing Vash always putting others first

(also this whole exchange between Vash and Brad reminds me of Roberto catching Vash as he's about to leave town at the end of tristamp ep 1)

and it's so sweet how, at the end of this arc, Brad is so concerned about Vash leaving! he even seems to be over Jessica's crush on Vash, going like "hey, at least say something to her!" we love that good, good character development! Brad is such a good bean 🥹

...the translation discrepancies here have me scratching my head, tho;;;;;

#trigunbookclub #text postan 2k23 #i think i've figured out a good process for reading and getting pics and making these posts!#glad y'all are enjoying them! 😊

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sparkles-oflight · 9 months ago

Text

Bele Sanje

Hello everyone, it's BoKris time.

This is actually a re-write of part of a fanfic I wrote a while back and deleted.

Thanks @anxious-witch for the much-needed proofreading!

Synopsis: My take on Martin leaving the band (highly inaccurate)

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

Sensible subjects: you read the title didn't you? Weed and pain :D

It was an unusual meeting... The band was planning to rest for a couple of days, but Martin wanted to talk to everyone, so Bojan sat down next to Jure and listened.

- I decided to leave the band. – he announced.

Bojan looked at him in disbelief.

In a year and a half, he lost not one, but two members of the band, and this time it was his best friend.

- No, you are not… - Bojan said as Jure squeezed his hand.

- I’ve been trying to think about my future. All of you have already finished your degrees and I don’t have a plan B. I don’t think I can do music and study at the same time.

- Yes, you can!

- Bojan-! – Jure tried to snap him out of it.

- Shut up! – but he yelled back at him before turning to Martin again - You can! We all did! Martin, you are so smart and organized, you can do it! Music is your passion!

- What if it isn’t, Bojan? – he put on a gloomy face.

- What do you mean?

- What if music isn’t my passion? What if I followed you without knowing what I actually wanted?

“So…it’s my fault”, he thought.

- Martin…

- Bojan, please. Understand what I’m telling you.

- I understand, I just can’t accept it.

- Will you force me to stay and do something that I don’t feel fulfilled in doing?

- I…

His throat was killing him. He felt a lump. This was his best friend since they were children... How can he just leave?

– No. – Bojan forced it out of his throat.

Martin hugged him tightly for a while.

They talked every day of their lives since they were kids... He was his best friend, he lived with him. Martin wasn’t going to leave Bojan, but, even so, he felt so hurt as if he had been betrayed. There were tears running down his face like a cascade.

- I love you. – Bojan told him when Martin grabbed his head to look into his eyes.

- Bojan, we live in the same house. I’m not going anywhere. – he joked.

- Oh, yeah, I forgot. You are my dear wife.

- I thought I was your wife! – Kris complained.

- You are my mistress.

- You are cheating on me? – Martin gasped.

They shared a laugh as Bojan wiped his face.

- Thank you, everyone, for having me around all of these years and I’m not going anywhere! I’ll stick around and make sure Bojan’s ego doesn’t take over the band.

- Hey! – and Martin kissed the small singer on the hair.

They all decided to go home, but, Kris, oddly, fell asleep on the couch, so Bojan also chose to stay behind. There was no way he would go home with Martin before having some time for himself, and, for that, he used Kris as an excuse to stay behind.

- Sleepy Beauty truly looks like a princess when he hugs the pillow. - Bojan commented.

He sat down and looked through his bag. He looked for some of “the good stuff”- as his dorky ass likes to call weed - to smoke.

Kris woke up to the smell eventually and crawled to him.

- What are you doing here? – he asked.

- I have the keys today. I was waiting for you to go home.

- Why didn’t you go home with Martin and leave the keys here?

- I didn’t feel like going with Martin. Want some? – he offered.

- Reminds me of the scent of Amsterdam. – and Kris accepted his offer, sitting next to him.

They met each other’s gaze. They looked for a while before pressing their heads against each other, reducing the gap between their noses.

Eventually, they smiled.

“This shit is kicking in.”

- Umazane Misli? – Kris asked him.

- More like… Ne pozna – “she doesn’t know” - Smeha, ki mu solza ne sledi – “the laughter that isn’t followed by a tear”.

They closed the gap between their noses completely and quoted their song.

- Dneva, ki je lažji od noči – “A day easier than night” - Njen utrip se redko umiri Nima mej – “Her heartbeat doesn’t calm down often”.

- Ne ve še kam beži, a gre naprej – “She doesn’t know where to run, but she runs forward” - Spet v loop ujeta prej al slej – “Sooner or later she’ll be caught in a loop again.” - Če je nesreča orel je ona Prometej – “If misfortune is an eagle, she is Prometheus”.

- That’s a genial line. I wonder who wrote it. – Bojan smiled.

- I wouldn’t call the writer a genius, I actually don’t get along with him.

- Me neither.

Bojan just needed someone close to him right now.

- Are you crying? – Kris asked Bojan, laughing with his red cheeks and small eyes.

- No. – the other laughed too, barely being able to make out what was going on.

His mind was out - totally out of there. He was trying to escape from reality, but the tears kept falling down, and then a pain bigger than he had ever felt seized his chest.

- Kris! – Bojan hugged him tight as he felt his heart speeding up and he grabbed tightly onto his shirt.

He was hyperventilating. It had never been this strong before. He felt like he was dying, deprived of oxygen.

- Bojan – Kris caressed his cheek. – Look at me. Calm down.

- Kris, I’m alone. Again. Martin left!

- Martin didn’t leave you. Martin just isn’t in the band anymore.

- The band is important to me!

- And he knows that.

- Then why do I feel betrayed!?

Kris slowly lifted Bojan’s chin and tucked his hair behind his ear.

- Because Martin is your best friend. Because… - he looked up to think – you always followed Martin. Because Martin was always there. And now…you don’t know what is like to not have Martin around all the time.

- I know…

- But, Bojan... You’ll be fine. You already annoy me all the time without having to ask Martin for permission! – he laughed.

Bojan took a deep breath and followed Kris’ calm breath until he slowly started to calm down.

- Thank you, Krisko. – he said once he regained the strength to talk.

- Any time. - Kris hugged – Also, can I put my “stoned” playlist on?

Bojan nodded and stupidly laughed at him.

Bojan liked Kris because Kris validated his feelings. Sure, he can be a bit of ass some days, but he’s the one whose shoulder he’ll cry on when he needs it the most.

And yet couldn’t help but feel guilty. The day Martin officially announced his departure online, he saw him talking with Kris. They were both smoking outside, and Bojan was going to join them…but he overheard something...

- How did he take it in? – Martin asked Kris.

- How do you expect? – Kris acted coldly towards Martin - Badly, but I calmed him down.

- I see. – he breathed out the smoke out of his lungs – And you?

- I’m not the one who’s important right now.

- Kris, how are you doing?

Kris wiped his nose.

- I’m fine.

- You are crying.

- It’s the cold, man. – he avoided looking at Martin.

- Kris.

- I’m sorry, okay!? – he lashed out at Martin – I’m sorry that I can’t be weak right now!

Bojan saw emotions in Kris’ expression he thought he would never see towards Martin: anger and pain.

- It’s not your fault! – he continued – First it was the pandemic, then Matic and now you! Things are changing! We are growing up and I…I don’t know whether we should give up on these childish dreams. Is music really what we want!?

He threw the cigarette wet from the tears on the floor. Martin hugged him strongly as strong sobs and snot came from Kris.

- I don’t know what I want to do! – Kris exclaimed – I should have my shit figured out by now…!

After that, Kris was empty for the next couple of days… His cries resonate in Bojan’s head to this day… He sounded so scared back then...

But moving forward was the only way.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

Afternote: I'm emotionally drained from today, I don't have anything funny to write.

But...I might write about this event from another perspective :)

Polaroid Photos Universe | Recommended next: Bele Sanje - in another Room

#joker out #joker out kris #joker out bojan #kris gustin #kris guštin #bojan cvjetićanin #bokris #joker out fanfics #fanfics #writings #polaroid photos universe

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yeehanfrf · 2 years ago

Text

Week 4 Recs: The Rivalmance

This week's Yeehan fic recs were all about "The Rivalmance." That's enemies-to-lovers, rivals-to-lovers, competitive assholes-to-lovers. If you like Yeehan, you know the vibe! Check out the recs gathered from the Yeehan community below, organized by rating then alphabetically by title.

Teen and Up

Hana Song's Guide on How to Not be Weird by LeftHand [27,710 words] Reccer comment: "Still uses the old cowboy name but I love it all the same"

Hanzo would never believe that Hana Song could give such stellar advice or display such wisdom beyond her years. He never expected to make a home for himself among the members of Overwatch. To make peace and find hope in life once again. But he did. He also never expected to get lassoed onto a mission with the most reckless, infuriating, irritating man he'd ever meet. A man in serious need of some guidance. With Hanzo Shimada as his best bet for a clear head? Not being weird is a lot harder than it sounds.

Author's note: This work is not officially completed and has a very round-about ending. I do not plan on ever writing a true final chapter but would still consider the work worth reading. Thanks!

Mature

The 85th Annual King County Bake-Off by venvephe [WIP; 37,995 words] Reccer 1 comment: "Warning: incomplete Still a good au tho" Reccer 2 comment: "Unfinished (4/5 chaps and currently ends at a cliffhanger) but set in a fun AU that makes for charming rivals to lovers YH fic and a fun read."

It’s October first, and it’s all come down to this.

The cake is perfect. He’s been waiting for this moment all year, since the previous baking competition. This is his chance at redemption, at reclaiming the crown of the best baker in the county. It’s a title only the winner of the county fair can hold. He’s waited a year and spent hours upon hours at work. Early mornings and late nights, scrapped ideas and tons of flour and sugar went into his masterpiece. It’s all led to him to standing here, awaiting the announcement of the winners.

This year, it’s going to be Hanzo. Last year’s winner - his rival, his nemesis - is going down. Hanzo’s not going to let his mortal enemy take the crown for a third year in a row.

What kind of name is Jesse McCree, anyways?

Howlin' for you by Mifune [17,489 words] Reccer comment: "a good ff if you enjoy bounty hunter Hanzo×wanted Cassidy!"

McCree makes a stop in Dorado, Mexico, before answering the Recall and meets a mysterious man in a bar that promises to make his night a lot more interesting. or McCree wants to do the right thing, Hanzo is sarcastic and there is a lot of emotional baggage unpacked in one night.

Ricochet by robocryptid [24,016 words] Reccer 1 comment: "Cassidy doesn't want to rejoin Overwatch. Too bad Overwatch doesn't take no for an answer and sends a hot stranger to hunt him down."

Reccer 2 comment: "A fun cat-and-mouse spin on Rivalmance. It’s super engaging, the pacing is impeccable and the chemistry is off the charts. I had so much fun reading (and re-reading) this!"

Cole toppled a government or two, caused a few explosions, murdered more bad guys than he can count, and probably a few innocents too. He caused more collateral damage — ruined more lives — than he’ll ever account for, and the world didn’t change a bit. He did his time, and he’s not going back.

Too bad Overwatch doesn’t want to take no for an answer.

Explicit

Acceptable Substitute by mataglap [47,494 words] Reccer comment: "I go back and reread this so often i think I'm at least 30% of the read stats"

Hanzo has lived without certain things for so long that he has all but forgotten about them. Cassidy is a bright red exclamation mark of a reminder, and Hanzo discovers that the saying "out of sight, out of mind" unfortunately also works in reverse.

Meanwhile, Cassidy is an exceptional liar, and the most egregious of his lies are the ones he tells himself.

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by KittenzCaboodle [WIP; 34,828 words] Reccer comment: "Then I can't not push this ff enough! It's probably one of my favorites!!"

The man first in line for the Shimada throne was the last picture that Cole had been given to memorize. Hanzo Shimada. They had said it was unlikely that he would be sent, as he was too important for such menial tasks, but he was the next likely candidate according to Genji.

He gazed longingly towards the door, aching to step outside and get a fresh breath of the cool night air. As he silently grumbled about the sweat rolling down his back, the bodies grinding against each other in the club making the place hot and steamy in all the wrong ways, he saw him.

Of all the people in the world, Hanzo Shimada, the worst possible person, had just walked through the door and was putting their entire Blackwatch mission at risk.

Somehow, Cole had to distract him long enough to for Genji to get out, and he was willing to do whatever it takes, even if he was caught between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.

But when the Devil buys you dinner and is one of the nicest people you've ever met, then things get confusing.

Binary System by mataglap [14,150 words] Reccer comment: "it's one of my comfort series for this ship, it's really funny, both characters are really well written and very in character, and honestly i just absolutely adore everything this amazing writer make"

Hanzo is arrogant and Cassidy is stubborn, which results in the world's strangest game of chicken.

Ichigo by morrezela [27,121 words] Reccer comment: "Qualifies if you squint? YeeHan break-up and aren't very civil to each other for a while"

They break up on a Wednesday.

Nocturne by delicaterosebud [61,160 words] Reccer comment: "This is probably the most bittersweet 'enemies to lovers' I’ve ever read. Some parts of this fic made me a bit uncomfortable, but in a good way (if that makes any sense…)"

After his mentor goes missing in the forest of Aokigahara, Jesse McCree, a member of the world-renowned Overwatch hunting guild, finds himself alone in his desire to save him. Receiving little support from his teammates, who have deemed his rescue effort to be too risky, Jesse must turn to an unexpected - and rather unpleasant - companion for aid.

During their travels together, however, he and the demon named "Hanzo" grow closer, and Jesse learns that the concept of good and evil isn't quite as simple as he had presumed.

One Man's Hero by mataglap [WIP; 99,485 words] Reccer 1 comment: "I can't not rec this one for enemies to lovers!!"

Reccer 2 comment: "A superhero AU ripe with action, beautifully charged and meaningful emotional scenes, superb characterization, meticulous world-building and just stellar writing. I especially enjoyed the side characters in this!"

Hanzo Shimada is an assassin, a murderer, and decidedly not a hero, let alone a superhero — and yet.

Popcorn Redemption by wyntera [WIP; 266,692 words] Reccer comment: "A classic, unfinished but great"

They say life isn't like the movies.

Well, partner, they ain't never worked for Overwatch.

Shift, Refresh by robocryptid [3,168 words] Reccer comment: "bursting through the door with this"

There are worse ways to start the morning after than with the walk of shame. It's not at all what Hanzo planned, but it might be what he deserves.

Survival Instinct by mataglap [36,485 words] Reccer comment: "Very well written, Hanzo's characterization was on point. Also I love remorseful/guilty Cole."

Cassidy takes a new monster hunting contract. It's pretty decent as contracts go: the pay is good, the perks even better, and he's got two competent companions to fight at his side when the monsters come.

Then a third companion arrives and ruins everything.

to lie down with dogs by motorghost [65,540 words] Reccer comment: "practically bursting at the seams with tension, at times almost suffocating (I mean this in the most complimentary way possible)."

Hanzo and Cole are on a top-secret reconnaissance mission in the industrialized wasteland of post-Crisis North Dakota, hunkered down in a factory ill-fit for human occupation. Cole seems fine with the situation, but Hanzo's doubts extend far beyond their little room.

That brings Week 4 to a close! Thank you to everyone who sent in a recommendation! Keep an eye out for next week's theme: "Golden Oldies," or fics from 2016 and 2017!

In the meantime, you can also check out the Week 3 recs here or see the list of past and future themes here!

#yeehan #yeehan fic rec friday #cole cassidy #hanzo shimada #yeehanfrf #overwatch fanfiction #author: LeftHand #author: venvephe #author: robocryptid #author: mataglap #author: morrezela #author: delicaterosebud #author: wyntera #author: motorghost #author: Mifune #author: KittenzCaboodle #week 4 #the rivalmance

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cherokeegal1975 · 7 months ago

Text

Free Audiobook on Youtube with a private feedback comment included.

youtube

I know this is a repost, but bear with me. There is a reason for it. I'm making sure you know what this comment is about. These next paragraphs between the quotes are not my words. They were written to me in a kind of letter attached to the first chapter of my book. Noonibean was doing me a solid just because she wanted to. She quit after the fifth chapter. Still grateful years later anyway.

This is purely a copy paste, I changed nothing:

"Please forgive me; I started off using Microsoft track changes, but it was taking me FOREVER and I was also afraid all the notes and splices might confuse you. So I went ahead and just gave everything a facelift and kept it in black. Next time, I will write my changes in a different color.

Okay, so first of all, I really think you have something great here, and I’m not just blowing smoke. I love the world you have built, and I am already very intrigued by the storyline. You captured Johnny’s relationship with Little Girl beautifully, and the same goes for Goldie. You can tell they all care about each other deeply. Is it weird that Johnny kind of reminds me of Aladdin? Lol, I think it’s the desert vibe and the growing up with thieves thing.

I love that you started the story with a strong action hook, but since you backtrack from there, I’m wondering if you can find a clear and concise way to transition into the past. Even if it’s a sentence or two about his mind going back into the past as he runs. (He doesn’t actually reach the rocks/resting place in this chapter, right? I just assumed he was running this whole time.)

You paint the pictures and scenes wonderfully, and I can imagine all of it as I read – just be careful not to add too much where explanation isn’t necessary. I noticed you have a tendency to over-explain certain things about the characters or the situation. We don’t always need to know the “why.” Try to keep it clean and concise so as not to slow down the narrative. This first chapter is extremely tough too, because it is practically all narrative and there is very little dialogue. Just because you know certain things about the characters doesn’t mean your audience needs to know them. Let them figure a few things out for themselves. Remember to give your readers the credit they deserve. They are smarter than you think, and not everything has to be explained to them, especially when you “show” rather than “tell.” All the rest is just fluff. For example, because you’re a good writer, I already assumed LG could see well in the dark, and I knew how much Johnny cared about her.

Basically, I went in and corrected some grammar, and trimmed the “fat” to make everything read tighter without affecting the real meat of the story. For example, instead of three paragraphs about Johnny’s sand ship, we really only need one-and-a-half. The narrative I cut out can easily be peppered in throughout the rest of the book if absolutely necessary, so let me know if there was something I took out that was crucial. I don’t think I did, though.

Regarding the action scenes, remember that tight, short sentences convey the sense of urgency best. Longer sentences slow the action down, so I shortened the cliff jumping scene as well as the fight scene. Another thing I did was re-arrange sentences to make them flow more naturally, and remove “filler” adjectives along with invisible words like “that” and “of.”

I tried to deepen Johnny’s point of view. For example, since we are in his POV, you wouldn’t need to say: “He knew there was a way to drive down from up there.” You would simply put: “There was a way to drive down from up there.” Since we are in his mind, he already knows it. Know what I mean?

Lastly, words like “was” and “to be” tend to make a story read more passively, so I like to use them sparingly. If I can think of a different way to word the sentence without using those passive words, I will do that instead. Example of a passive sentence (which we don’t want): “He was tired and hungry.” Same thing, but active instead: “Wariness overcame him, and his stomach growled with hunger pangs.”

Also, is it Prince Richard or King Richard? I was hella confused, lol. It’s king in the beginning, and then Prince after that. I would choose one and stick with it or explain why he is now being called Prince.

I really hope some of this made sense. I tend to ramble. Let me know what you think about the edits I made. I am really looking forward to reading more!"

This is a comment from a lovely lady that goes by Noonibean on DeviantART. I am respecting her privacy by not posting her real name. I did follow her advice in my manuscript and on my posts for this book on DeviantART (I'm CherokeeGal1975 there too), but the fixes do not appear in the actual novel because I'm doing a hands off policy until I can get some more help from a professional editor. But I thought I'd share this since she did have some very positive things to say about my book.

I can't fix the audiobook, that will have to come much later. I think I'd rather hire someone to be my reader once I have all the work done I need to do. Not sure when that will be, but I set it as a life goal...or to put it another way, it's on my bucket list.

I'd love to read what you think as well.

P.S. - Noonibean did the cover art for my Kindle version of Unexpected Cargo. I would've used it for my paperback version of it, but for some reason Amazon wouldn't let me. So I just keep that cover art as a treasured file.

#cherokeegal1975 #cat #fantasy #youtube #mpreg #dragon #digital art #mpreg birth #mpregnancy #art discussion #feedback please!#Youtube

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massharp1971 · 2 years ago

Note

For the fic writer ask game!

💘🌻🤍

Thanks!

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

New Beginnings, the second fic in my Found Family series. I love it but it was really hard to write because people had raved about Awakenings and this was the sequel. I think it's been overlooked somewhat but maybe at another time I'd have not struggled with the writing process or been hung up on replicating it and working through all the things that needed to happen to get to where the end of Awakenings was pointing.

Although I'm not getting much time to write it, the third (well, fourth, because there's a short smutfic in there now) installment is much more its own thing, and it's also got much more of a Pegasun perspective, which I like. I think people will love it.

I also give Kanaan a proper speaking part, finally.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

Being intimidated by the quality or artistry of the really good cake - reading any fic by @wonkyelk, but particularly The bakery in the woods which blew me away as a concept, or the sheer cuteness of @spacecadetdhdly's baby dragon fic The omen on offer, @logicgunn's gorgeous The Long Dark series, or @gingerpolyglot's sublimely hot Put yourself in my hands. Lots of @salchat's stuff, but I particularly loved Kiss me in the rain. @dedkake's astonishing impact in few words, particularly the incredible It could've started like this series, which was an incredible feat of writing and perseverence. @halestrom's gorgeous The doctor and the Sheppard...

Okay I may be using this as an excuse to go all fanperson. I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting to mention, because all those are off the top of my head - this fandom is so blessed with good writers. Stuff like that is aspirational but also a little intimidating to a very workmanlike writer like me - I'm good at making words do what I want them to do, but it's a far cry from artistry like that. I'm gonna have to be content to be Salieri to their Mozart and not be all bitter about it. On the other hand, writing a drabble series or a quick, throw-away fic about body-switching (Bodyswap) or cuddles and asexuality (Ace) and people enthusing about it, or keeping coming back to it. That there is saying "yeah Mas, sometimes you make someone's day a little better". The long comments saying how someone personally connected to a fic are the best. Sometimes I say stuff people needed to hear, and that's nice.

So, I try to remind myself it's cake and it's got its own flavour. My writing would probably be one of those wierd-ass cakes - apricot, chilli and lavender or something daft that not everyone is gonna try but turns out better than you expect. I can live with not being a master baker if a few people find my stuff unexpectedly tasty.

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

See above - although looking at it from times perspective people not going nuts over New Beginnings doesn't mean it hasn't been appreciated. There may be some genderqueer insecurity in there for me somewhere because I leaned into the non-binary McKay story a little harder.

Gotta say, though, people have been nothing but nice about my wildly queer takes in this fandom. It's been a complete haven to me in an otherwise stormy world.

Love this fandom 💜💜💜Thanks for the asks.

#sga fanfic #fanfic #asks

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quordleona03 · 8 months ago

Note

Hi, if you have time, I'd love to ask a couple of things:

How do you and your beta/proofreader share texts? Do you use email, Google Docs, or a different app? Just curious as someone who is starting to write and trying to get a feel for things. I'd also love to hear any advice you might be willing to pass on about posting and writing.

When I finish a section in All We Know, I send the latest version of the entire document (though once we got into dealing with March, and all the sections up til the end of January had been published, I split the manuscript into All We Know 1962 and All We Know 1963 - all of 1962 was now on AO3 if Jakrar wanted to check back with an earlier section.

On posting and writing, well: my advice is to sit down and write for an hour every day for ten years, and at the end of that time, you are a writer. (I use the site 750words to get my hour-a-day in, no matter what.) When trying to write a story: unless it is a very short story, plan it out ahead of time, chapter by chapter - what has to happen when. Let yourself be flexible, of course: sometimes the characters will tell you things about themselves as you write that mean the story changes direction. And then write: get the shitty first draft down, and then pause for at least a day - sleep on it, definitely - re-read, make what changes seem good to you, repeate - and finally, find someone to edit/proofread, and, hopefully, to beta-read. A beta-reader tells you their emotional responses to the story. Pay attention to their reactions. A sensitive reader picks up on what you meant, and what you want, and what they feel. The beta-reader's changes may be more difficult to introduce, more painful, but the work in doing so will generally make the story better.

I use LibreOffice, and save as a .doc file, and email that .doc file. For convenience, the .doc file is indexed with a table of contents and each section has a comprehensible heading, so that sections can be easily found.

Jakrar sends me back a .doc file with sections from my manuscript quoted, and her proofreading notes and comments underneath, identified by page number in the file.

What this can look like is (my original text in green, hers indented):

Mulcahy could have told Mrs Hunt he was going to see his sister - that was true: but he didn't think he could explain to anyone who knew what his salary was as a teacher, that he planned to fly to California tonight, and home on Monday. That hardly seemed real to him either, though their flight was at seven. He was looking forward to it with a wincing kind of anticipation, but beyond the flight, he had to meet BJ Hunnicut, who he needed to talk to, and Kathy, Maria Angelica, whom he both wanted and did not want to talk to.

In the first sentence: you might consider changing “that” in “that was true” to “it” I’d suggest changing the colon after “true” to a dash I’d suggest putting “(at least,” right after “anyone” in “could explain to anyone” I’d suggest changing “who knew what his salary was as a teacher” to something like “familiar with his teacher’s salary” I’d suggest changing the comma immediately following the word before “that he planned to fly” to “)”

Jakrar will also note contradictions in the text:

Page 368

Hawkeye got up when Mulcahy came in - paused a moment - presumably for Mrs Jamieson to close the door - and then came round the desk and took Mulcahy briefly into his arms. He let go, moved back, looked down.

At the end of the first sentence, delete the extra blank space following “briefly into his arms.”

Page 368

"Okay, wait," Hawkeye said, still holding on to him. "It did not escape my notice that when we flew up to Boston back in October, your ears hurt."

First, three paragraphs up, Hawkeye takes Mulcahy briefly into his arms and then lets him go and moves back, but here Hawkeye is still holding on to him. You need to change one or the other or have something in between where Hawkeye takes hold of him again. Second, they flew to Boston and had their interactions with Charles and Martine in November.

Sometimes, she'll also include comments on the text itself.

Page 431

"Fantastic," Hawkeye said, very cheerfully. "Lucky chance you knew that guy." "Never saw him before in my life," BJ said. "You knew him, didn't you?"

beats head on desk How have these guys survived this long?

Page 431

Hawkeye stopped short, turned, and looked at BJ. His eyes were wide and his eyebrows raised. "BJ? He's on the convention staff. I handed my dress bag in at the desk this morning, and asked them to find me at the mezzanine after my seminar, and take me to a room I could change in. He showed up with the bag and a key to that room, and I told him to come find me after the banquet. That is the sum total of our long-standing unacquaintance. When you called him 'Jack' I thought you knew him."

Near the end of the fifth sentence, delete the extra blank space after “take” in “the mezzanine after my seminar, and take” In the eighth/last sentence: put a comma after “Jack” (before the closing single quotation mark) I’d undo the italics on “him” (but leave the italics on “you”)

I used to be a stellar proofreader myself. But, since my glaucoma diagnosis, I've had to accept that I will no longer be able to notice if I've missed small issues in the text. Leading to comments such as these:

Page 432

BJ gave Hawkeye a beat of silence Hawkeye looked amused "Okay - "

Put a period after “silence” Put a period after “amused”

Sometimes, I disagree with Jakrar's suggestions (my comment text in red italics) and I often add notes on the decisions made in guiding the plot of the story.

Page 98 (from the AWK 193 doc)

"Hey," BJ said, calmly. "We couldn't invite all four kids, one of them a boy about Erin's age. We're not inviting any kids." And they had heard from Erin about that, at the top of her voice. "We just couldn't make an exception for Lorraine Blake. Anyway - "

In the fifth sentence, you might rearrange “We just couldn’t make an exception for” to “We couldn’t make an exception just for” The reunion just became a thousand percent better.

To me, the suggested placement of "just" sounds dismissive of Lorraine - "just couldn't" sets the emphasis on "couldn't for anyone". Does that make sense?

When I was discussing with Ajay65 how to plan the reunion at the end of the story, Ajay65 pointed out that if the party included children, the hotel had to be bigger, events had to be organised for parents-with-children, a sitter-service had tbe available for the banquet or the entire event had to be child-friendly - and I conceded the point and abandoned any ideas about a family reunion.

Page 398

Hawkeye was sitting bold upright and plainly indignant. "Beej, everyone there would know the circumstances."

In the first sentence, change “bold” in “sitting bold upright” to “bolt”

Page 398

"I didn't," BJ said. "And a lot of people who only remember Colonel Potter wouldn't either. Anyway, Hawk, if you'll cool down and listen to me, I heard back from Lorraine Blake, and she's now Lorraine Reynolds."

In the second sentence: you might consider rearranging “people who only remember Colonel Potter” to “people who remember only Colonel Potter” put a comma after “wouldn’t” in “Colonel Potter wouldn’t”

"And a lot of people who only remember Colonel Potter wouldn't either."

To me this (the above) sounds a more natural way of saying what BJ is trying to say than

"And a lot of people who remember only Colonel Potter wouldn't either."

The above comments are all editing or proofreading. Anyone experienced enough to know what correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation are, and with a good enough memory to catch glitches, can proofread your story. It is always easier to have someone else read your manuscript and catch errors than for you do it. This is because - unless you set the story aside for a few weeks - you yourself know what you meant to write, and your mind's eye will produce that for you on the page, even if that's not what you actually typed. A proofreader is only responsible for picking out the typos, punctuation errors, grammatical errors, and so forth: an editor will track things like "Hawkeye and Mulcahy actually flew to Boston in November". But in fandom, if you are fortunate enough to have someone who will be both proofreader and editor, they can and should do both.

But - when your editor/proofreader loves your story enough to read it with fannish appreciation, they will also notice things like this:

Page 471

"When did you tell him to go back?" Kathy said. She was beyond astonishment. That Ben might have been a voice urging Francis to return to the priesthood was not something that had ever occurred to her. She was bewildered, but she could not disbelieve him.

"A couple of times in Crabapple Cove. In New York...." Ben shrugged. "A few times. I don't remember. He told me to stop, last year. He told me he wasn't ever going back, they wouldn't let him be a priest, and I had to stop saying it, or he'd be angry."

"So you could get him to go," Sister Maria Angelica said, with delicate care, "if you weren't afraid of making him angry?"

It could be just me, but it feels like Maria Angelica's switch here, from the shock of realization back to manipulation, is a hair too quick and smooth. Maybe if there's a hint of pause at the start of the third paragraph, before she's all composed again, and delicately trying to get Hawkeye to see things her way...?

Jakrar was right. A beta reader notices emotional mistakes in the text. So I amended my text (new text in bold):

Kathy stared at Ben. She wasn't sure what to say. She moved her hands togeher under her scapular, and summoned herself to go on.

"So you could get him to go," Sister Maria Angelica said, with delicate care, "if you weren't afraid of making him angry?"

And sometimes, a good editor can save your life. On Page 516 of the total WIP so far (Page 210 of the 1963 version), there's this:

But it wasn't even seven in the morning in New York: the call rang out, with no one there to answer in the empty offices. Hawkeye stared at the San Francisco telephone directory, and thought of making prank calls.

It’s going to be three hours later in New York than it is in California. But if it’s about nine in the morning in San Francisco, it’s about noon in NYC, so maybe there’s a lunch break and no one is answering the phones at the office because of that?

I said "OH SHIT!!" out loud when I read your email, and M, who was passing, said "What?" sounding very worried.

I said, "no no, nothing important," and then correcting myself "nothing in the real world - I got the time difference between New York and San Francisco exactly BACKWARDS"

"Oh," said M, sounding very relieved, "oh well shame on you, tut tut" and went on downstairs to make more tea.

I don't have the red cloak and magical comic book powers to reverse the direction of the Earth and besides people might notice if I did, so i guess I have to rewrite that bit.

Thank you.

*sobs with relief*

Thank you.

Will send you corrected and updated version ASAP.

Love and huge appreciation

Result: But he ate, and asked the waitress where he could make a long-distance phone call. He might as well call Shirley Mason and get it over with. A man answered the phone. He said Miss Mason was at lunch. He did not offer to take a message. Hawkeye stared at the San Francisco telephone directory, and thought of making prank calls. He called Charles's office. The hospital switchboard passed him through without comment: Charles's secretary, who always reminded Hawkeye of a very well-bred robot but with less warmth, said that she would inquire if Doctor Winchester wished to speak with him. Finally, Charles's clipped Boston voice said, "Afternoon. What is it, Pierce?" "Good morning, Charles," Hawkeye said. "Pierce. What is it?" Charles paused. "Are you in California? What do you want?"

Ah, that's a question...

#writing #proofreading #editing #beta reading #how I write #all we know

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writteninthesewalls28 · 10 months ago

Text

Between love songs and internet cruelties

A prequel to "between shards and "I love you"s

A/n: This work is part of the "be my valentine challenge" by @bemyvalentinechallenge for the day 11 prompt.

Summary: Eris, Niall’s girlfriend, starts struggling with all the hate she gets from Niall's fans and when he finds out, he has a good strategy to cheer her up…

Warnings: mental health, cyber bullying

I heard Niall unlocking the door and quickly tried hiding my tears from him.

Because we are currently in a world wide pandemic and I worked as an elementary school teacher when I wasn´t singing, I was always home, day and night, every day of the week.

Which, obviously also caused lots of boredom from time to time.

And was there any better thing than reading mean comments about myself and crying?

Niall’s and mine relationship had become official just one week after we met. And the media immediately drew all their attention to us.

Two singers as a couple? That’s something new for them.

And then, there were the fans.

Of course not all of them were mean, but there just simply were some of them, who liked saying that I don’t deserve Niall and his love, that I'm not good enough for him.

Under a video of my performance at the iHeart Jingle Ball last December, I stumbled upon some newer comments, talking about me.

That I was fat, not worthy of love, ugly, too clumsy, weird, dressed too casual…

These comments hurt. They really did.

But if I'd tell Niall about this, he'd anyways just defend his own fans (that’s at least what I'd do if someone said something bad about mine) and wouldn’t believe me. It isn’t his fault anyways.

It probably is my fault because I started dating him in the first place. That´s also what makes living together with him for quarantine so hard, I get constant reminders that I don´t even deserve him, but am still around him for most of my time and have to play it off like everything is amazing.

"Hey baby!" Niall said, taking his bag off his shoulder and placing it on the kitchen counter. "I bought your favorite sweets for tonight! Did you decide for a movie yet? Please don´t let me go through the torture of another enemies-to-lovers story." he said, laughing to himself and still not looking at me. He´s focused on packing the food out of the bag.

Then I saw Chocolat chip cookies in his hands.

They don´t taste as good in the UK as they do back in the US, but it´s better than nothing to make me feel closer to home.

That´s exactly what I needed now, somehow Niall always knew it.

He turned to me and his face changed from happy to serious really quickly.

Great, you could still see that I had been crying. Why did I always cry so ugly anyways?

"Are you okay?" He said, sitting down on the chair next to me. I knew he wouldn´t accept a ´yes´, but I tried anyways.

"Don´t lie to me, I can pratically still see the tears on your cheeks." Niall never failed to make me laugh. "So, what´s going on? Did something happen, did I maybe do something wrong?" He gently touched my arm and stroked over it, to make me feel more comfortable, which actually somehow worked.

Without saying a word, I handed him my phone, where the comments were still visible. It was quite funny to watch to see Niall´s face turn more and more confused and shocked at the same time. He couldn´t believe it.

"First off, why are you reading this?" He asked, still staring at the comments in complete disbelief.

"I don´t know. I just came across it" I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from starting to cry again. "And I know, that I´m not the perfect girl for the fans… I don´t even know why this upsets me so bad." I tried explaining my sensitivity to Niall.

For a few seconds, I wondered, if he even heard me because he was still focused on the phone, but then he said something. "But you´re perfect to me. The fans can´t decide who I date or who I love. You are perfect for me Eris!"

A small smile appeared on my lips. Before I met Niall, I never knew how great words of affection could feel, but Niall was the inofficial king in making me feel better, just through words.

I understood why so many people find comfort in his music, it was truly amazing to listen to it.

"I´m definitely post about this on Instagram, they have to stop." Niall called out and then stood up, probably to get his own phone.

Just minutes later, you could find a new post on Niall´s official instagram, addressing the cyber mobbing against his girlfriend. He knew, not all of the fans were doing this, but the ones who were doing it, should stop. It´s wrong to hurt people like that and he actually thought it was something everyone knew by now.

I loved this man so much, he would never be able to know.

"Let me show you something." he then said, after posting the new text and stood up to grab his guitar from the sofa.

You never love yourself half as much as I love you

You never treat yourself right darling, but I want you to

If I let you know, I´m here for you

Maybe you´ll love yourself like I love you.

I immediately knew which song he was singing there, and quickly added the "You sing". The fans would´ve been proud of me.

I had little tears in my eyes and as soon as Niall was finished with singing, he gently wiped them away with his hand.

Yeah, the fans could say whatever they want, he was my man.

#bemyvalentine2024 #bemyvalentineno11 #quote #reader x niall horan #orginial character #tw bullying #tw insecurity #tw mental health #maddys fanfic #maddys writing

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garebearandnan · 11 months ago

Text

LITG S2: EP15 Pt2 Coming Clean

SUMMARY: A new challenge unearths some secrets… I have added some new secrets. I hope you enjoy!

Narrator, Iain Stirling: The producers have been getting their hands dirty, digging up some saucy secrets about the Islanders. They even spoke to Gary’s nan! Lovely lady. So grab your popcorn, because it’s time to drag some skeletons out of the closet, kicking and screaming.

Challenge Stage

You arrive at the challenge stage with the other Islanders. This afternoon was a hot one, and the platform offered no shade. There was a big banner that read 'Coming Clean', written in white. “What’s all this?” Before you are two tanks with slides leading into them—one is filled with mud, the other with soapy water and sponges. There were also two piles of envelopes—one marked 'boys' and one marked 'girls'.

Jakub leans gingerly over the mud tank, peering inside. He looks disgusted. He wrinkles his nose. “That’s al dente, that is."

“You’re still using it wrong, mate,” Ibrahim tutted. “Mud ain’t al dente.”

Jakub blushes slightly but keeps his face composed. "Yeah, I know that. I was using it ironically, like." Bobby chimed in, trying to keep a serious face, "You can't be ironic about al dente." Jakub nods along as though he understands.

Rahim and Bobby are loving this whole ‘al dente’ thing. “Shame about the mud – This outfit was al dente!”

Gary complimented you with his lopsided, crooked smile, "You're always al dente, darlin’."

“Aww, thanks, babe!” You smiled flirtatiously at your blond, hunky partner. “Right back at ya handsome.”

Poor Jakub, he can’t catch a break! Chelsea said, “Al dente means…” Bobby tries to communicate something with his eyes. It comes out more as a twitch. He silences Chelsea with a look, putting a finger to his lips. “Oops…” Chelsea covered her mouth.

A phone buzzes. Priya announced, “Islanders, in today’s challenge, you need to come clean! In front of you are two piles of envelopes containing secrets about your fellow Islanders–one for the girls, one for the boys. If you choose to open an envelope and read a secret, you’ll have to slide into the mud. If you resist the temptation and keep it sealed, you’ll be washed clean by the person whose secret remains inside. #comingclean #muddywaters #secretsrevealled”

Everyone applauds and cheers. Bobby made a clapping sound with his hands. “This is, well, exciting!”

Gary gave his assent, “This is gonna be mint.”

Priya said, "Woop woop," and Marisol echoed her excitement by saying, "Hashtag, bring it on!"

This challenge… You made a comment along the lines of, “Let’s hashtag nail this challenge!”

Chelsea expressed her excitement by clapping both of her hands together. “Woo! Best challenge ever!”

Ibrahim grits his teeth. “Oh, no, my hair!”

Hope exchanges a concerned look with Noah. “I hadn't thought about that!”

Lottie made the suggestion, “Want me to get you girls shower caps?” Hope looked her way before shaking her head and responding, “Er, no, I’m good.”

Lottie gave a nonchalant shrug and added, “Shame. I could've done with one myself. Definitely re-dying my hair after this.”

“Relax, you guys. We’re only sliding in–it’s not like they’re throwing it over us.” Priya continued by saying, “I doubt you’ll get any on your hair or face.”

The girls line up facing the boys. Hope asked, "Who's going first?"

(Lottie's secret) Gary’s phone buzzes. "Me, I guess." He steps forward and takes an envelope from the pile. ‘Lottie’ is written on the back. “Now this is interesting,” he says with a smirk toward the makeup artist. Lottie flushes with colour.

Hope reminded him, “Remember, if you open it, you have less of a chance of winning the challenge.”

"And you'll have to get covered in mud.” Lottie pouted and added, “Just saying." Gary grins at her and tears open the envelope without further hesitation. He reads it aloud.

“Titanic, Little Women, and The Secret Garden make Lottie cry every time. #CryMeAnAtlanticOcean #WorksEveryTime”

Some of the Islanders looked pleasantly surprised. Marisol commented, “Really? Titanic?” which caused Lottie to side-eye her. “Some of us are sensitive, okay?”

Priya chopped in, “I wouldn’t have guessed. Lottie?" Bobby defended his partner, “Nah, Lottie’s a massive softie once you get to know her.”

Lottie marks him with a look. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t cry too if you’d seen them.”

Bobby laughed. “That’s fair. I’ll throw up my hands and admit I haven’t seen those films.”

Titanic, Little Women, and The Secret Garden make Lottie cry. “Same, to be honest.”

Lottie turned to you, nodding her head and pulling a sad face. “You know then. When they’re lowering her in the lifeboat, and…” Her voice becomes a squeak. “And Jack realises he’s going to die… But then Rose… Rose jumps, and…” She covers her mouth as the tears start rolling.

Hope patted the blonde’s shoulder. “It’s okay, babes. We know the story.”

Chelsea cocked her head as she pondered out loud, “But don't you guys think that Jack could have, like, totally survived if she'd just let him-”

Lottie glared as she cut her off, "Too soon."

"Eep. Sorry." Chelsea looks away pouting. “... They could have, though.”

Lottie regains her composure, dabbing at her eyes. “Looks like you’re first on the slide, Gary.” She gives him a flirty smile.

Gary concedes with a massive smile, “Looks like I am.” He takes his time climbing up the ladder, hesitating when he reaches the top. Gary shouts out when he slides down the ladder, “Geronimo!”

Everyone laughs and cheers.

In the Beach Hut (BH), Grace: “He looked really good. Especially when he was going up. I was like, ‘Oh, okay’. I think Gary looked sexy. His big, well–defined biceps make me gush no-end.”

Priya remarked, “I never quite got why people say that when they jump off things. Or, like, slide into them.”

The mud covers Gary completely. “Oof!” He exhales. He windmills his arms, sending splatters of mud flying everywhere. He’s getting more mud on the platform and himself. “Come on in, guys. The mud’s warm.”

Lottie wrinkled her nose and exclaimed, “Yuck.”

BH Lottie: “He’s pulled off most things. But that was grim.”

You smiled at him enjoying himself. “It’s good for your skin babes. Just let it dry in the sun for about half an hour, then wash it off and viola! Soft, glowing skin.”

“Hell yeah!” Gary takes two wads of mud in his hands and rubs it into the skin on his chest. He returns to his place in line, leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the deck.

BH Gary: “It was just so much fun getting down and dirty…” (He laughs.)

(Gary’s Secret) Another phone beeps. This time it’s yours. “My turn!” You step forward and pick up an envelope with Gary’s name on it. “This has a secret about Gary inside it!”

You finger the envelope for a moment. Should I read Gary’s secret? Gary gives you a cheeky grin but stays quiet. If I open it, I have to get covered in mud, which means less chance of winning the challenge. Plus, I’ll totally ruin my outfit. But we’re already at a disadvantage now since Gary opened Lottie’s secret, so it might not matter either way. I wanna know. You tear open the envelope and read out the contents.

“It’s no secret that Gary loves his nan, but you know what he won’t tell you? The time his mates switched her name in his phone with a girl he’d been chatting to on Tinder. #ItsInTheFamily #BloodIsThickerThanWater”

The boys all laugh.

Ibrahim’s eyes go wide. “Mate, that’s savage!” The golfer exclaimed, “Did you, like, text her and stuff?”

“Yeah,” Gary said with a blush. “But I figured it out pretty quick when she replied. It was something like, ‘wash your mouth out with soup’ and ‘no way to speak to your nan’.”

BH Bobby: “Mmm… Very impressive prank. Gotta remember that one for my mates back home. Lookin’ at ya, Junno.”

“Wait, did you just say soup?” Marisol asked with a confused expression, “You meant soap, right? Like, what you would usually use to wash things with?”

“I think you guys are underestimating my nan’s soup,” said Gary with a chuckle.

Grace (thinking): His nan sounds like a riot. Sounds like a prank my brothers would pull.

When your eyes meet Gary's, you get an uncontrollable attack of the giggles, and you find yourself gripping your side as you do so. “Your mates sound hilarious. I wish I would have thought to prank someone like that.” You give him a cheeky smile.

Hope frowned. “Really? I’d be fuming if one of my girls did that to me.”

“Yeah, I gotta agree with Hope.” Marisol piped up. “They took that a bit far. There's a point where it goes past being funny into just being mean.”

Hope turned to Gary and asked, “Did you get in trouble, Gary?"

Gary nodded and replied, “A whole summer’s worth of chores and driving her to bingo.” Everyone laughs, and Gary joins in.

Beside you, Marisol cleared her throat. “Looks like Grace’s going in the mud.”

“Oh yeah, that part.” You walk over to the mud tank and climb the ladder. Time to slide in the mud. Go as fast as possible. You push yourself off and arrive with a big splash, sending mud flying. "Woo!"

Everyone applauds and cheers.

“Go Grace!” Chelsea cheered.

Now I've got mud on my clothes. I’ve been covered in worse. Probably not a story for today… Hopefully? “It’s not too bad. People pay good money for this sort of thing at fancy resorts!” You return to your place in line, dripping with brown muck.

BH Gary: “I don’t know what was hotter- the heat or how she can look so damn sweet and sexy in MUD! Well damn, boy. As fetishes go seems pretty tame, but seeing Grace get muddy... yeah it just might be a thing.” (He laughs.)

(Noah’s Secret) Hope’s phone goes off. “Me!” She steps forward and takes an envelope from the pile bearing Noah’s name on it.

“Noah “mis-read” the situation when he turned up to Reading Festival with a backpack full of library books! #ReadTheRoom #ReadingAtReading”

“Wait, so you actually thought the Reading Festival was a festival about reading?” Priya asked, a little confused. “And you, what, sat there with a book the whole time?”

“It actually took off. People started reading next to me, then more of them, until eventually someone posted a picture of us on social media,” Noah explained. “Hashtag reading at Reading trended for weeks.”

The other girls ‘awww’ and everyone claps. Hope flashed a grin at her partner. “You know, I think I actually saw that!”

Chelsea beamed at the handsome librarian. “That's a cute one!”

Hope nods in agreement. “I think it’s really sweet.” Noah smiles sweetly as he looks at Hope.

Noah took ‘Reading Festival’ literally, brought a bunch of books along, and started an internet sensation. “So you're internet famous?”

Noah looked at you. “Kind of? Doesn’t really mean much now that I’m here, does it? Like, what are people going to remember me as the guy who started a hashtag once or the guy who was on Love Island?”

BH Priya: “I just can’t resist that boy anymore. I’ve been trying to fight it, but, like I’m just going with the flow. That was freakin’ cute.”

Noah smiled at Hope. "But you know what this means, right, Hope?”

Chelsea chanted excitedly, “Slidey time! Slidey time!”

Hope feigns a dramatic sigh, wanders over to the mud tank, climbs the ladder, and slides in. Noah runs over, plunges his hands into the mud, and splashes more of it onto her chest and shoulders. "You melt!” Hope said as she grinned. “I'm gonna get you for that!" She clambers out and envelops Noah in a muddy hug, cackling as she covers him. He wraps his arms around her and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

"Urgh! Goals!” Chelsea scrunched her nose, adding, “Maybe not the mud part, though." Everyone laughs.

Grace (thinking): They're in their own little world. Kind of reminds me of what they were like back at the start… I wonder how long it'll last?

(Lucas’s Secret) A phone buzzes, and Marisol grabs an envelope. The side read ‘Lucas’. “I never did mind getting my hands dirty.” She gives her partner a flirty look. “It’s like they say. Knowledge is the real prize.” She opens it with a flourish, her eyes trained on his.

“Lucas once went on a blind date with a woman who didn’t speak English, and needless to say he doesn’t speak Russian. #LostInTranslation #InternationalManOfMystery”

Ibrahim inquired, “Mate, what’s that all about?” Lucas elaborated by saying, “It’s talking about the time I went on a date with this Russian girl who didn’t speak any English. And I don’t speak any Russian, so we ended up just typing messages into a language translation app on my phone.”

The next question that Ibrahim posed was, “And just, like, passing the phone back and forth?”

“Quietest date I’ve ever had.” Lucas smiled. “It’s really weird when one of you laughs, because up until then it’s just been silent.”

Lucas managed a date entirely through a language translation app… “What did you talk about?”

“Only basic things, to be honest with you. I don't know if you’ve ever used an app like that before, but they don’t score high on accuracy. Like, I asked her if she was okay, and the app said her reply was ‘I feel myself’. Which turned out to be… less exciting than I'd hoped.”

The golfer looked confused. “I feel myself?”

Lucas smiled. “Let me put it this way. If I went up to someone who didn’t speak fluent English, and I pointed at their dog and said, ‘Sick dog, mate’, they’d take it to see a vet.”

Ibrahim nodded. “Fair play. I guess the English language doesn’t make that much sense, does it?”

Jakub chimed in, “Yeah, it’s kind of al dente, isn’t if?”

Bobby shook his head. “No. Just… no.”

“Sounds romantic.” Chelsea exhaled with a wistful sigh. “That’s a rom-com just waiting to happen.”

Lucas smiled. “Yeah, I think so.”

According to Marisol, “It sounds awkward.”

"It wasn't that bad, actually. Got some good laughs out of it." Lucas paused. He flashed a cheeky smile and added, "Maybe more than that…"

Gary jabs him playfully in the ribs. "Oi oi!"

Lucas blushed, shaking his head. "Get your head out of the gutter!” Everyone laughs. “I meant that she introduced me to the brilliance of Russian ballet." Lucas smirked. "And maybe a few other things."

The boys all whooped. Gary chanted. ”Oi oi oi!”

“This is all besides the point though…” Lucas turns his attention back to his partner. “Ready to get down and dirty, Marisol?”

“As if you need to ask,” She declared this with a grin on her face and amusement visible in her eyes. Marisol climbs the ladder and slides down into the mud. “It’s not actually too bad.” Everyone applauds and cheers.

(Grace’s Secret) Gary's phone buzzes. He picks up an envelope with your name on it.

Ugh, at this rate we’re never going to win! “We’ve really given up on this whole winning thing, haven’t we?”

He returned your smile. “Maybe I just want to get to know you better.”

A secret about me… Do I want Gary to read my secret? “Read it!” You smiled at him. “I wanna know what it says as much as everyone else here.” Gary grins. He opens the envelope.

“When Grace heard that her bestie's boyfriend was playing away, she swapped his conditioner for hair removal cream. #WomanScorned #GoodbyeGoldilocks”

Lottie grins happily. “That was amazing!”

Grace's mischievous act of revenge had the girls in stitches. Lucas touches a protective hand to his hair. Marisol chimed in, “He must have been a real D-bag.”

“You could say that. He was obsessed with his hair, too. It was even better than Henrik’s… before I intervened.”

All the Islanders ‘Ooooo’.

“Remind me never to come between you and, well, anything,” stated Bobby. An awkward silence lingers as the boys look at each other. Some snickers are heard from the girls. Noah added, “I think Gary’s has earned himself a mudding.”

Gary chuckled. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.” Gary heads straight for the tank, climbs up, and slides in. With an infectious enthusiasm, he called out, "I'm going in!" Everyone applauds and cheers. He climbs out. Gary's eyes locked onto you with that mischievous grin plastered across his face. He made a beeline toward you.

“Don’t touch me!” you exclaimed, a mix of laughter and protest in your voice.

Gary, undeterred, teased, “Wait, so you’re saying you don’t want a mud hug?” With that, he makes a show of chasing you around the stage with his muddy hands outstretched, creating a spectacle that had the entire group laughing and cheering. You grab an arm-load of sponges and launch them at Gary. He yelps and runs to hide behind Noah, laughing. Chuckling, he wipes his hands on his trunks and returns to his spot in line.

(Jakub’s Secret) A phone buzzes. Priya looks at her phone, steps forward, and picks up an envelope. “This one’s about… Jakub.” Jakub grins at her, puffing out his chest. She tears it open and reads it aloud. “Jakub once had to shave his head after he got a waxing strip stuck to it. #NeverAgain #LegsOnEEK” Everyone laughs.

“It happened a few years ago, alright?” Jakub’s cheeks burn a brilliant red. “I was trying to do my legs, but it was really hard to yank off, and somehow I smacked it into my forehead. Got it stuck in my hair and everything. Like the text said, I had to shave my whole head.”

The boys jostle about with each other, laughing even more.

Jakub got a wax strip caught in his hair after a failed leg wax attempt.

Lottie gave a snort. “What an amateur.”

“Do you see any hair on these bad boys?” He sticks out a leg, turning it for her to see. “It's completely smooth.”

You chimed in, “That’s happened to me too! The struggle is real. Next time, get it out with corn syrup.

Chelsea was so animated that she appeared to be bouncing in place. “Oh em gee, totally! Corn syrup is absolutely one hundred percent what you need when you get a wax strip caught in your hair.”

“Corn syrup is bae.” Jakub broke into a grin.

Marisol appeared to be surprised. “Well, you learn something new every day.”

“How often does this happen to people?” Bobby asks with a raised eyebrow. Chelsea just giggles at him.

Priya walks over to the mud tank, climbs the ladder, and slides in. “That was fun!” She giggles. “It’s been ages since I went down a slide. Might have to go down to the local playground.”

“I’m sure the dads won’t complain,” Bobby said with a wink.

(Chelsea’s Secret) A phone buzzed. Jakub picks up an envelope. “Chelsea.”

“Read it out! Read it out! Read it out!” Chelsea chanted excitedly.

Jakub hesitates. “Yeah, no.” He grimaced. “I’m not getting thrown in there.” Chelsea’s face dropped and she gazed down at the decking.

“Alright. Hand it over.” Gary grabs the envelope and tears it open with a flourish. Chelsea's expression lit up with joy. He read out.

“Chelsea once signed off an email to an important customer with a smiley face… only it was a big old 8=D. #BDE #GettingCocky”

Everyone cheers. Chelsea covers her face with her hands and squeals.

Hope inquired, “Did you get in trouble?

It appeared that Chelsea was perplexed. “Why would I?”

Priya gave the interior designer a contemplative look, saying,“Well, surely it damaged your reputation?”

“Not at all!”

Priya tapped her chin and said, “That’s actually genius.” Chelsea concurred, “I know, right?”

Chelsea emailed an 8=D to one of her customers. “How did you not know what that was?”

“What do you mean? It’s a smiley. But with a nose. After that, he just kept coming back for more work, so if anything I think this just makes me, like, a better interior designer.” Chelsea paused, took a breath, and then her eyes lit up like a light bulb went off. “OMG! That could be like my brand! Everyone likes a smiley. Especially a smiley with a nose!”

Marisol leans over and whispers, “I don’t think anyone has told her yet.”

Chelsea beamed at the crane operator. “Your turn in the mud now, Gary.”

BH, Chelsea confesses: “Swoon. He’s just the sweetest boy. And he is fit. Grace is so lucky to be coupled with him.”

Gary shrugs. He climbs the ladder and slides down. Gary is covered in mud. “Want me to roll around in the dirt with you?”

“Now that’s what I mean by ‘talk dirty to me’.” Gary grinned broadly. “Come here, you!”

You clamber over to the side and join him in the mud. “Slather me up, babes.”

“I like that word, slather.” Bobby says, “Ssslather.”

“Hey, Gary!”

“Yeah?”

“Catch!” You fling some mud towards him, splattering it across his chest. He laughs and flicks some back at you. You slap some more mud onto Gary, rubbing it into his back and shoulders for good measure. The boys laugh and cheer.

Marisol asked, “Grace, what are you doing?”

“Oops, sorry! Gary had a wasp on him! I was just shooing it away.”

Priya giggled. “Sure you were.”

Gary winks at you. “She really was! Honestly. I swear I felt something crawling on me.”

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Can we please get back to focusing on the challenge now?”

“Wow, I’m totally covered. I don’t think I’ll get all this mud out of these shorts. Gary leans in and whispers

in your ear. “I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing a shower.” You bit your lip as your eyes locked for a moment.

You blush as you smile. I could get so lost just looking into his eyes…

(Marisol’s Secret) A phone buzzes. With a glance at his phone, Lucas steps up to grab an envelope. “This one’s about… Marisol.” He looks down at the envelope in his hands as he hesitates before looking over at his partner who gives him two thumbs up. Fuck me. He reads aloud.

“Puzzle rooms are ultimately about trying to escape, but Marisol was in no hurry as she got wild and naughty. #NoEscape #CluelessBits”

Hope and Chelsea squeal in surprise.

You smirked. “Oh, that was saucy!”

Bobby said, flashing a cheeky grin, “Marisol, you dark horse!” Everyone laughs.

Marisol grinned. “The lights went out, and we were stuck in there for ages. What else were we expected to do? It was a fun place to get naughty.”

Priya chipped in, saying, “That sounds like my kind of night.”

“Total bucket list!” You said, and Gary gave you a flirty look as he replied, “Sounds like a room I’d like to get trapped in.”

BH Jakub: “I’m not a huge fan of puzzles. I’d pass on that one.”

Chelsea claimed, “I’d be too worried about getting locked in the room!”

Bobby flashed another cheeky grin at Lucas. “So, it looks like Lucas is going down the slide and getting himself muddied.”

“And here I was hoping all of you had all forgotten.” Lucas moves reluctantly towards the slide and climbs up. He takes his time climbing the ladder, hesitating when he reaches the top. The others' cheer him on.

Gary calls out in encouragement. “You can do it, Lucas! Just go down quick.”

Lucas looks at him unhappily. “And get more of this on me? No way!” He takes a deep breath and slowly slides down. The mud covers him up to his waist.

BH Lucas: “I’m going to be real. I don’t think it was very fun or sexy.”

Lucas sits absolutely still for a moment before raising his arms, watching with dismay as swathes of mud slide off them. “I’ve made a terrible mistake. I don’t even like mud baths at the best of times. But it’s not even the right kind of mud!”

Priya chimed in with, “Yeah, the real stuff smells like rotten eggs. Sulphur and stuff. Like, from volcanoes.”

He frowns. Lucas replied, “I think I’ll take this over smelling like that.” He returns to his place in line.

(Priya’s Secret) Ibrahim hesitates, sneaking glances at the vat of mud. He looked down at the envelope. He shook his head before opening.

“Priya once got a concussion from pulling the moves on none other than her sister’s man! #ImWalkingHere #WatchWhereYou'reGoing”

Priya quickly defended. “Before you all go getting ideas, it’s not quite as bad as it sounds.”

Lottie called out, “You sure about that?”

Priya rolled her eyes, and you suggested, “Spill the tea then, babe.”

“They weren’t dating yet. And both of us liked him at the same time anyway, so it was more of a friendly competition. One day they were walking together, and I was walking in front, so I thought I’d try the Over The Shoulder Smoulder.”

Lucas asked, “And what, walked into a lamp post?”

Priya grinned. “Nailed it.” Everyone laughs.

Ibrahim thought to himself, try to slide slowly. He eases his way down, keeping his hands on the sides to slow himself.

Bobby expressed his disbelief by shaking his head. “Where's the fun in that?”

The golfer slid gently into the mud. There’s no splash, and he doesn’t get too much on himself. Lottie looked impressed. “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

(Ibrahim’s Secret) Chelsea’s phone buzzes. She runs up to the front and grabs a card.

“Ibrahim, once lost their date in a garden maze. #HideandSeek #Mazerunner”

Priya claimed, “Oh, that's a good one.”

Gary questioned Rahim with, “How is that even possible, mate?”

Noah offered in his defence by speculating, “Maybe they did it on purpose?”

Ibrahim explained: “Yep! I had no choice but to leave them. It was supposed to be a fun romantic game of hide and seek. She hid, I failed to seek. An hour later we found each other. I thought she saw the funny side...”

Lottie interjected, “I’d be fuming if I got jilted in a maze.”

Ibrahim continued, “I thought we were cool and she suggested going skinny dipping in the nearby lake.”

Bobby chipped in, “Now, that’s a fun time, bro.”

BOYS: WHOOPING

Ibrahim goes red and rubs the back of his neck. “Although, the whole thing’s not as impressive as it sounds. When I got out of the water my clothes were gone. I had to poke some neck and arm holes in a clean bin bag and wear it as I ran back to my car. An unused bean bag, obviously. Now I hide my clothes really well when I skinny dip.”

ALL: LAUGHTER.

Noah chipped in, “Smart.”

Chelsea is cheered on by the boys and girls. She didn’t hesitate as she pushed off and landed in the vat of mud, laughing and whooping.

BH Chelsea: “All the mud just went everywhere. It was just stuck everywhere. I’m like, that’s so fun.”

Several rounds pass, with more and more islanders going down the mudslide.

Narrator Iain Stirling: Hope once played bassoon in a swing band. #JazzHands #QueenOfSwing

Lottie inquired, “You played bassoon in a swing band?” Hope replied, “Metal covers band. We played swing.”

Narrator Iain Stirling: Bobby believed in the mythical animal, ‘The Loch Ness Monster' until he was 13. #MythicalNessie #SeaCreature”

Marisol let out a gasp. “Bobby, you’re literally from Scotland. How did you believe in the Loch Ness Monster until you were thirteen?”

Bobby pouted. “Alright, don’t talk about her like she’s not real. She’ll get offended.”

Narrator Iain Stirling: … And washing each other off.

(Gary’s Secret) Lottie's phone sounds. She steps up to the table with the cards. Gary's name is on it.

Lottie (thinking): Should I read Gary’s secret? If I open it, I’ll have to slide into the mud. Plus, I’ll totally ruin my hair. She smiles to herself. Though technically I still could still get washed by Gary… She examines the envelope, then drops it on the ground.

Bobby shouts, “Boo!”

“Please, I’m not getting muddy over a secret.” Lottie smiles at Gary sexily. “I still get washed by Gary…”

Your jaw drops. Hope calls out, “You’re not even muddy!”

“So, isn’t that right, Gary?”

He looks especially taken aback shifting awkwardly on his feet. “I… I…” He nods and rubs his neck.

You can’t say anything, You’re too floored.

Lottie sashays, swinging her hips in a seductive manner, over to the pool. She slides down into the soapy water, careful not to let it splash her face or her hair. She gasped. “I thought it was gonna be warm!” She sat up on her knees and flipped her hair over her shoulders looking pretty hot as the water cascaded down her body. She holds her arms up expectantly.

Gary grins and walks over to the pool of mud. Grace flinches, but keeps her cool. Lottie moves her hair above and out of the way as Gary grabs a waterlogged sponge and squeezes it, sending soapy bubbles cascading over her shoulders. Lottie was having a great time being in such close proximity to the gorgeous lad. She couldn't help but look at his chiselled abs as his muscly arms dragged the sponge down her torso.

She cooed, “This is better than any secret.” The other lads uttered "ahhs" and "oohs" in a suggestive manner earning a look from you. Gary blushed when he noticed that Lottie was getting goosebumps, which could have been caused by the cold water or by something else entirely.

BH Jakub: “Oh, my nuts. I didn’t know where to look! Lottie looked hot as she tossed her hair around giving off sex eyes. Got to do what you gotta do in here.”

Was bound to have happened at some point… Stay chill, stay chill. You murmured, “It’s just a bit of fun.” As you shifted slightly uneasily, Gary catches your movement.

Gary squeezed the sponge and scrubbed her skin briskly. Oh, my God, it's freezing! Lottie glares at him. “Not so hard!”

The sponge lands back in the tank with a plop. Gary pales. “Done.”

BH Grace: “I don’t like seeing it. I know it’s a challenge but I can’t help it. It’s not nice seeing Lottie flirt with him.”

Eventually the challenge comes to an end, the floor covered with torn envelopes. Only Lottie, Bobby, and Jakub show restraint, refusing to open any of the envelopes.

BH Lottie: “I think me and Bobby have got this challenge in the bag.”

Lottie’s phone buzzes. “Guys, I’ve got a text!” She reads it out.

“Lottie and Bobby, congratulations on winning today’s challenge. Your prize is a night in the Hideaway. #JustTheTwoOfUs #AwayFromItAll #OneMoreChanceToGetDirty”

Bobby jumps up and down. Everyone applauds and cheers.

Hope said, “Congrats, guys. That’s some serious self control.” Lottie smirked and replied, “I surprise even myself sometimes.”

Chelsea chimed in, “A night in the hideaway is just one night. Secrets are forever.”

Lottie quirked an eyebrow. “Well, we heard the same ones you did. And we still won, so…”

Lottie and Bobby get a night in the hideaway? Selecting the mud had proven to be an unfortunate choice. You'd rather have won the challenge and go to the hideaway with Gary. “Damn it, Gary! I'm so jealous."

Gary looks at you and smiles sheepishly. "Whoops! My bad."

Lottie shoots you a steely look. “Better luck next time.”

“I feel your pain, Grace” Chelsea chipped in, “I’m super jelly.”

"I am her spreadable hero sidekick, Super Peanut Butter!" Bobby laughs.

Chelsea blinks at him and turns back to Lottie. “Do you think you’ll, like, do bits?”

Lottie replied, “Knowing Bobby we'll probably just, like, build a fort or something.”

Chelsea pokes Lottie playfully on the shoulder. “That's still gossip, babes. I want to hear every fort-building detail.”

Bobby blushed. “Why does that sound so aggressive?”

+++

The Islanders start heading back to the Villa. As you leave you notice Chelsea picking up the unopened envelopes. Those must be the secrets we didn’t read. I wonder what she’s planning on doing with them.

Narrator, Iain Stirling: In today’s challenge the islanders found out more about each other than they needed to know… There’s plenty more drama in store.

Bobby settled onto the lawn. “That challenge was jokes wasn't it!” His smile conveyed a cheerful and happy expression.

Gary agreed as he settled back on the bean bag behind you. “Yeah. Interesting finding out more details about you all.”

You’re sitting in the garden with the other Islanders when Chelsea brings out her stack of collected secrets. “That is definitely one of my favourite looks for you, Grace.”

“Thanks, babe!”

“Who wants to see what they say?” said Chelsea; her eyes twinkled with mischief.

Marisol looked at the cards in her hands curiously. “Isn't that against the rules of the challenge?”

“The challenge is over, babes!” Chelsea waved a dismissive hand. “It's secret time.”

Priya chimed in and shrugged, “I guess nobody’s going to stop us.”

Chelsea wants to read some secrets that nobody opened… “I want more secrets, too.”

“Amazing!” Chelsea picks up another secret.

Narrator, Iain Stirling: It seems we’re only just beginning to uncover the secrets the Islanders have buried away.

Chelsea wiggles one of the envelopes at you. “Here, this one has Gary’s name on it.” She passes you the envelope with “Gary” written on it.

Gary smiled at his partner. “Up to you. I’m not fussed either way.”

“Free reign, huh?” You had a cheeky twinkle in your eye.

He gives you a sexy grin. Sweetheart, you can do anything you want to me.

His eyes had a sinister sparkle to them that gave you fanny flutters. A large grin spread across your face. You tear it open. “Right now, I’m just excited to get to know you better.”

“Gary once activated a clap-on light using only the power of his digestive system. #ClapOnClapOff #WatchOutOzoneLayer”

Gary looks over your shoulder and blushes. “Oh… that.”

Your eyes widen. “Care to explain?”

He smiled. “It was pretty funny. I was staying over at a mate's house, a whole bunch of us. He had this clap-on light. You know, those ones that turn on when you clap your hands? I don't remember much, but apparently I farted in the middle of the night, and the sound of it switched the light on.”

Gary’s fart story… “LOL.” You burst out laughing. “You’re so funny. I love it.” You laughed along with a couple of other Islanders.

“Phew! For a minute there, I was scared I’d blown it.” Gary laughs, flashing his cheeky, infectious smile!

“I’ve done worse, mate.” Bobby high-fived the crane operator.

BH Lottie: “That's grim.” (She grimaced.) “Farting is such a turn-off.”

“You could say your performance was cheeky,” Bobby said playfully.

Noah slapped his forehead. “Oh, no…”

Bobby had a mischievous smile on his face as he continued, “Why did the fart open a bakery? It loved sharing its ‘puff’ pastries with everyone!”

Some laughter and a couple of groans. Gary chipped in, “Did you hear about the fart that joined a gym? It wanted to work on its glute-us maximus.” Gary laughs, his eyes gleaming boyishly. You return his smile. “Glad my puns are bringing a smile to your face.”

Jakub laughed. “That was al dente.”

Bobby was grinning with amusement. Too easy. “What do you call a teacher who never farts in the library? A private tutor.”

A few chuckles go around. Chelsea tears open an envelope, grins, then runs over to Lottie, waving a secret in one hand. “Oh. Em. Gee. You are actually my hero!”

You asked, “What did she do?”

Chelsea looked at the makeup artist in awe. “She shaved off a guy’s eyebrows!”

Hope gasped. “Oh, my days!”

“What can I say?” Lottie frowned. “I found his wedding ring.”

Jakub paled. “Wow, that’s harsh.”

“Well, I couldn’t just let him get away with it. So I just took things into my own hands.”

Lottie shaved off a guy’s eyebrows after discovering he was married… “That’s so fierce.”

Lottie smirked. “Don’t worry, I didn’t leave him completely bare. Me and my sharpie gave him a whole new pair of evil eyebrows. On. Fleek.”

“OMG, I can’t even imagine.”

GIRLS: LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

Chelsea picks up another secret and gasps. “This one’s about Bobby!”

She handed it toward Lottie. “Nah, I’m good. You're on your own.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna know what it says? I love knowing things other people don’t know. I’ll just open one. Actually, maybe two.” She picks up another and opens it.

“Bobby once had to be rescued naked from a hotel rooftop. #AllHangOut #DressCodeNotRequired”

You asked, “Why would you be on a hotel rooftop?”

Jakub claimed, “I’ve been naked in a lot of hotels, but never on a rooftop.” Priya chimes in with a teasing comment, “Hope it was somewhere exotic. Or your packages won’t have been much to write home about.”

“It was a warm night.” Bobby grins mischievously. “There were six of us stuck out there. We were on a massive night, and it escalated quickly. I heard a helicopter, so I thought it’d be funny to all get naked, get on the roof, and do the helicopter with our… equipment.”

Gary smirked, asking, “You mean swinging it round in a circle?

“Yeah! Total banter, until we got locked out on the roof for hours. Gave the builders renovating the roof a surprise in the morning.”

Everyone laughs. Chelsea starts grabbing a whole bunch and tearing them open, reading the secrets to herself before throwing them aside. You take one of the ones she’s discarded. This one’s about Marisol.

“Marisol has a lot of responsibilities, not least running her 100k-strong web page — ‘Duck of the Day’. #CutHerSomeQuack #MysteriousMallard”

Chelsea asked, “What’s Duck of the Day?”

“Oh, it’s just this page where we post pictures of ducks. Mostly mallards, but sometimes the odd swan, maybe a moorhen. On Wednesdays, we do waterfowl.”

Lucas asked, “You run a web page about ducks?”

“Why ducks?”

Bobby chipped in next, “Why any of it?”

The law student explained: “It was just this random fun thing that me and my housemates decided to do in our first year at uni. We had a load of ducks on campus, so it was kind of an in-joke.”

Hope smiled, saying, “I’d join that. Ducks are hilarious.”

Marisol returned the Londoner’s smile. “We get some really wild ones. I’ll sign you up first thing when summer’s over.”

Bobby continued with, “That’s so cool… ducks are-”

Marisol cut Bobby off, claiming, “There’s a joke in there somewhere, but ‘no duck pun’ vibes from you right now, so…”

She is about to say more when Chelsea gasps, staring down at another secret in her hands amid a scattering of torn, empty envelopes. “Oh. Em. Gee. I'm shook!”

Hope looked at her and asked, “What is it?”

Narrator Iain Stirling: The Islanders are winding down after a challenge filled with secrets unknown- but there's about to be a new one spilling out of Chelsea's mouth, and it's a corker!

Chelsea's eyes widen, flickering towards Noah. She presses her lips together and shakes her head. “Mm-mm. Nope. Can't tell.”

Hope asked, “Why not? Is it something to do with me and Noah?” Priya rolls her eyes. Hope doesn't seem to notice. Noah presses his fingers to his temples, shakes his head, and groans.

Chelsea won’t share the secret she just read. “You don’t need to tell us.”

Hope demanded. “I think she does. It’s all of our business. We need to know what we’re getting ourselves into.” Marisol insisted, “Give us a clue.”

Chelsea blushes. “It’s to do with somebody’s ex-girlfriend.”

Hope stated, “I can literally see Noah’s name on the envelope you’re holding. If it’s about his ex-girlfriend, I want to know!” Chelsea bites her lip.

Noah puts his head in his hands. Hope's demand for information leads Chelsea to reveal, “Oh, alright then! I can’t say no to my girls. It says… Noah had an ex called Priya. For, like, three months.”

Grace (thinking): Oh, snap!

The news rattles the group, and there is a mixture of surprise, gasps, and worry in the air. Priya raises her eyebrows in amusement. Hope's face has lost some of its colour. “Noah's ex is called Priya?” The revelation seems to have caught her off guard, and the group awaits her reaction.

Noah quickly added, “Can we not make this bigger than it is?”

Grace (thinking): In three, two, one…

“Oh, this is big. We tell each other everything. Or at least we used to.” Hope crosses her arms and scowls at Noah. “Why did you hide this?”

Noah replied, “Because it didn't feel important to say. Who cares what my ex is called? It doesn't mean anything.” The tension in the air thickened as the conversation took an unexpected turn.

“It’s interesting, I guess. I’ll add it to my list of fun facts. Pub quiz, here we go, ” Bobby said as he tried to diffuse the atmosphere with humour.You insisted, “It doesn’t mean anything. Plenty of people are called ‘Priya’.”

Noah nodded. ”Thank you, Grace.”

Marisol brought up, “But don't you think that's interesting though? In that people tend to subconsciously go for partners who remind them of their ex.”

“Precisely.” Hope nods, her lips screwed into a tight line. The law student added, “Like, so many of my exes look the same. It's natural to be drawn to what's familiar.” Her cryptic comment had left a cloud of uncertainty.

Noah huffed, “Not helping, Marisol.” Hope went on, “Next, I'll find out their identical twins.” Priya scowls at her.

You look around at the rest of the Islanders. I never said anything to Hope about this morning. Keep quiet for now. You clamp your mouth shut and watch the drama unfold.

“I never want to meet another Priya again at this rate,” claimed Hope.

Noah frowned. “Now that's just unfair.”

The islanders were on the edge of their seats, sharing looks with each other as they watched to see how the conflict would unfold. Hope stared at Noah incredulously. “Why? I'm done with her trying to snake her way in with you!”

Priya barks a laugh. She seemed unfazed and challenged Hope. “Please. You still think I’m the problem?”

Hope snapped at the estate agent, “What's that supposed to mean?”

Grace (thinking): Oh, no. Priya wouldn’t tell Hope what Noah said in front of the group?

Priya explained, “He hasn't talked to you yet, has he?”

Grace (thinking): Bloody hell.

Gary could feel your shoulders tense up. He gave you a concerned look.

Hope's eyes go wide, and her head turns to look at Priya. “Talk to me about… what?”

Noah looks especially taken aback, shifting awkwardly in his bean bag. “Priya—.”

Hope turns to face Noah and Priya. “Excuse me. I want to hear what Priya has to say.”

Priya continued, saying, “I want it out in the open. Noah said this morning that he's thinking of picking me at the next recoupling.” The colour drains from Hope's face.

Hope's expression now shifts to a mix of shock and hurt as Priya lays out the truth about Noah's roof terrace confession. A collective inhale of breath as the Islanders take in what this means, exchanging glances as they process the bombshell that has just been dropped.

Hope sniffs. “I thought I was going crazy.” She looks as though she might cry. The tension is palpable, and all eyes are fixed on the trio. The vulnerability in Hope’s expression tugs at your heartstrings.

Noah's face pales. “I don’t think—” Noah, now fully aware of the impact of Priya's revelation, looks like a deer caught in headlights.

After a moment, her expression hardens. Hope slowly turns to look at Noah, and she looks at him with a hurt expression. “And just when were you planning on telling me any of this?”

Everyone stares at Noah. An awkward silence descends. You take hold of Gary’s hand. He gives it a small squeeze. “For the record, I never said I was going to choose her. Just that I... thinking about it. I didn't want to mess up what we have over something I wasn't sure about.” Grace and Lottie look at Hope, supportive.

“You're waaay beyond messing things up, babe. I'm done with this.” Hope turns on her heel and starts striding back in the direction of the villa, with Noah chasing her.

Gary lets out a low whistle as he watches them leave. “Phew. For a minute there, I thought that was going to turn into a massive argument.” The group looks at each other; tension hangs in the air.

Narrator Iain Stirling: You wouldn't have been wrong, Gary.

Marisol shook her head. “Wow!”

Lucas, glancing around at the others, echoed her sentiment. “Things just got real.”

Lottie replied, “You think?”

Chelsea asked, “That’s the end of the secrets, then?” An awkward silence lingers. The islanders brace themselves for the inevitable fallout of this news.

BH Marisol: "Well, this changes everything, doesn't it? We can't pretend things are the same after this bombshell. It's out in the open now. It affects all of us."

Narrator Iain Stirling: Well, a game of secrets was never gonna end with the Islanders skipping hand in hand into the Mallorcan sunset now was it?

A phone buzzes. Chelsea announced, “Oh, it's me! Guys, I got a text!”

“What does it say?”

Chelsea reads it to herself, and her face falls. “...” She looked up. “They’ve given me a warning for stealing those envelopes. It’s against the rules, apparently! Lol. Awkward. I’ll have to be on my best behaviour from now on.”

Everyone goes, but Gary stays and catches your eye. “Bloody hell.” Gary rubbed his beard. “Defo feels like there’s a love triangle developing.”

“Feels that way to me.” You move in for a tender hug, and Gary holds you tight in his muscular arms.

“I’ve never liked triangles. Worst shape ever.” The atmosphere was charged with uncertainty. The revelation about Noah's wavering commitment hung in the air, and the dilemma of whether to share this information with Hope weighed on your mind.

Gary can sense there’s more to the story. “Did you overhear something this morning?”

You take a breath. “Noah and Priya were having a conversation on the roof terrace. He said Priya had turned his head. He’s having doubts, and he’s thinking about choosing her at the next recoupling.”

Gary sighed. “Interesting.”

You pull away from the hug, looking into Gary's eyes. “Should I have told Hope about the conversation I overheard between Noah and Priya right away?” And be the one to start the drama…

Gary, ever direct, said, "Let's not kid ourselves. We might as well brace ourselves for what's coming." He mused internally. Maybe Priya’s not the only one Noah wants to get to know?

Love Island is full of twists and turns, and you can't help but wonder what impact your decision – to share or not to share – will have on the evolving dynamics among the islanders.

Narrator Iain Stirling: Coming up! No place is safe from the wrath of Hope. Operation Nope comes to a head… And the Islanders receive an unexpected text… Find out next time on Love Island! Don’t miss it!

+++

Trending On Twitter:

@lilyzmart1997- THE TEAAAAAA!!! OMG! THINGS ARE GETTING REAL! OOF!!

@annanick09- Okay I was all for Priya but the way she be coming for HOPE... I was a little SHOOK

@katkat445- I’m dead how Priya just spilled the tea like, WOW

@jentrope76- Miss Priya went in on Hope! I’d like to see Noah coupled up with someone different for a change.

@Andre_Kellie- Yaaasss!!! I can't wait for the next one. Omg. The drama is going to peak!!!

@krisbelter18- If Noah hadn't wanted to mess things with Hope, he should have been honest.

#loveislandthegame #litgs2 #loveislandgame #litgseason2 #loveisland #litg season 2

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