#also makes frequent typos and thinks you should just leave him be. even on tests
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Why are all my teachers this semester vaguely useless at best and complete bad vibes at worst
#1) chem. useless teaching. enjoys students failing. giggles as he calls himself a pathological liar#also makes frequent typos and thinks you should just leave him be. even on tests#2) physics. the best of them. takes up hw every day which is good. actually nice. but teaching itself is kinda useless#3) adv functions. okay. useless teaching style and also nice but like. idk#4) comp sci. minimal AND useless teaching. comes off as kinda sexist. has a friend who supports andrew tate so um. yeah.#this is gonna be an interesting semester. its gonna kill me to do 2 sciences and a math already but the teachers do not help#ravi's randomness#school stuff
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[Loser has to cosplay] Competition with Pio House! Betting our pride on this cooking battle! [MxH Channel]
I don’t think I’ve ever posted translations on here but here we go I guess. This is a translation of part of the Otomate 2021 April’s Fools event where characters from several games function as streamers/content creators for a video streaming site and basically fun AU just things. This one is basically a made-up collaboration between characters from the games Piofiore and Lover Pretend. (if you find any mistakes in the translation or typos please feel free to message me and point them out so i can correct them!)
Harumi: "H-Hello. I'm the one responsible for Cosplay tutorials at the Manken x Henshin Channel. In this video I'm working alongside my colleague Kazuma, who's responsible for Hair and Makeup tutorials in our channel. Usually we do cosplay & hair and makeup styling tutorials aimed towards beginners together on our channel."
Kazuma: "Hey-ho! I'm Kazuma! Ah as always Haru-san forgot to introduce himself while doing the introduction. Today we have some super amazing guests who are gracing us with their presence!!"
Harumi: "Yes, today we are working together with Pio House's Gilbert and Yang.. if you would like to..."
Gil: "Oi, Yang, Introduce yourself."
Yang: *huffs*
Gil: "Geez. Yo, everyone watching MxH Channel. My name is Gilbert. The one huffing and puffing over there is Yang. Let's have fun together today."
Harumi: "L-L-L-Let's work hard together. Usually Pio House does Mukbang videos and eh? Disputes..?...As-Assasination........?"
Kazuma: "Yep! They usually do Food-related videos so today we are doing this~!"
Title Card: Cooking Competition
Kazuma: "Super easy to understand right? Buuuut, a normal cooking competition would be super boring so we are letting these boxes decide what we are making today!"
Three boxes "Theme", "Dish", "Cooking Person"
Kazuma: "They are gonna decide the Theme and... uh..."
Harumi: "Theme, Dish and Cook."
Kazuma: "Yes! That! In there are cards with said words on them. So we pull one card out of each box to decide who's gonna make what."
Gil: "I see, this competition is quite luck based, isn't it?"
Harumi: "Yes. At the end everyone here is going to have a taste test and we will vote on which dish is going to win. And... whoever loses is going to have to face a punishment game!"
Yang: ".....Punishment Game?"
Harumi: *shreeks*
Kazuma: "You're just gonna have to watch to find out! A Hint: It's related to what we do on this channel. You know, that thing~"
Harumi: "It's already kind of been shown but whatever"
Yukito: "Well then! Kaaay~ everyone pay attention now~ I'll be directing stuff from here on out~"
Kazuma: "Ha! Aren't you that certain ikemen model that appears on here quite frequently? Is it okay for you to show your face just like that?"
Yukito: "Oh, well, today is a special video so it's fine right?"
Harumi: "Ehh?? Is it okay to be that sloppy about it?"
Yukito: "I asked my manager so it's fiiiiine~ Well let's check the boxes and see who's gonna do what!"
Harumi: "Geez, ultimately you're still doing this really half-minded."
~Wait a moment please~
Yukito: "Done! The result of the card draw is this~!"
Harumi: "Eh? M-Me?"
Kazuma: "Do your best, Haru-san! If you try hard you can do it!"
Yang: "Who came up with these topics...?"
Gil: "Oi, calm down, Yang! This is alright, isn't it? Even if you can't make a fancy hot pot it will serve as good content for the video!"
Yang: "...Alright, I'll show you how to do it."
~Cooking Time~
Gil: "Woah."
Kazuma: "Aaaaa Haru-san, you have to season it, too!"
Gil: "Who's going to eat that?"
Kazuma: "Ah! Ah!"
~Cooking done~
Yukito: "First, let's start with MxH Channel's dish!"
Harumi: "Y-Yes! I tried to do my best!"
Kazuma: "T-This is! Yes this really looks like you did your best! Barely can't believe you tried this for the first time!"
Yukito: "Well, this certainly has a super cute feel to it, but how did the cooking aspect turn out? First of all, is it even deep fried...?"
Harumi: "You don't have to point it out like that..."
Yukito: "Oh well, let's look at what Pioz House came up with!"
Yang: "I made Mala Hot Pot."
Gil: "It's super red ???"
Yang: "Are you happy, Redford? Red is a colour that makes your neighbourhood shine, isn't it?"
Gil: "But it isn't a colour you should find in cooking... Also, is this really something humans can eat?? My eyes already hurt from standing next to it."
Yukito: "And where did the fancy aspect go??"
Yang: "It's Hot Pot so it's fancy right? If you put something in a pot it's immediately fancy."
Gil: "What kind of master of ridiculous logic are you?? You idiot.."
Kazuma: "Eh? I don't get it? How is it fancy?"
Yukito: "Nono there is definitely no master to be found here."
Harumi: "Well it's okay isn't it! Compared to what I made."
Yukito: "Now that you say it, we still have to do the taste test! Well, both look like they aren't safe to eat... and I have a photoshoot tomorrow so an upset stomach wouldn't work for me, please excuse me."
Kazuma: "I have work tomorrow morning.. if i even touch on the topic of taking off work I swear my senpai is going to kill me."
Yukito: "Looking at the food it looks like it's gonna be a draw anyway because both look absolutely indigestible! So be good boys and both do the punishment game~!"
Yang: "Huh...? Don't you think it's cowardly to suddenly change the rules at the end?"
Gil: "Well you both completely missed the topic and failed so it's a fair loss.."
Yukito: "Anyway the punishment game is gonna be doing cosplay and doing a photoshoot for the thumbnail of this video!"
Kazuma: "The cosplay is gonna be decided by card draw again! Pick whatever card speaks to you!"
Harumi: "Haa, I guess I was kind of already expecting it while cooking..."
Yang: "How idiotic. Not like I have to draw a card."
Gil: "Well, then I'm gonna draw for you! The 2nd one from the right!"
Yang: "....Ha?"
Kazuma: "Thanks Mr. Gilbert! Ehh 2nd card from the left iiis..."
~Please wait a moment~
Yukito: huffing and puffing "We finally somehow managed to get both of them changed..."
Kazuma: "I did the makeup of course. I thought i was gonna be killed for sure while doing it, but I was brave and went through with it completely anyway!"
Gil: "Oh? I'm looking forward to the result."
Yukito: "Now, now, you two, come out!"
Yang: "................................................."
Harumi: "Mr. Yang... please... maybe you can smile a bit?"
Yang: "Huh?"
Gil: "Woaaah, almost looks like you came out of a dreamworld."
Yukito: "Looks good you two! Mr. Yang, could you lean a bit more to the side? Oh and Haru can you twist your arm a little more? Yes, like that!"
Kazuma: "This turned out to be a masterpiece! This is gonna be the raddest thumbnail!"
Yang: "I've had enough."
Harumi: "Eh? You're leaving already?? We still have to take individual pictures, too-"
Gil: "I'm moved, Yang! You endured this really well for once."
Yang: "..............................."
Gil: "Well then, thanks for having us. It was fun! We're gonna leave before Yang explodes, sorry for making you clean up!"
Kazuma: "Eh? Did they really just leave just like that?"
Harumi: "Ah... but it suited him really well... and i even crossdressed this prettily..."
Yukito: "Oh well, don't cry, Harumi-chan. You're gonna ruin your cute face."
Kazuma: "Yukito, are you really gonna flirt with anyone who looks like a girl?"
Yukito: "Huh? But Harumi-chan is always cute."
Harumi: "As if hearing you say that would make me happy!"
Kazuma: "Well seeing that those two already left, let's say our closing words for this one!"
Harumi: "*whining noises* If you think this video was funny please leave a like!"
Kazuma: "And don't forget to subscribe to our channels!"
#piofiore#lover pretend#otomate#yang#gilbert redford#harumi makino#yukito sena#kazuma kamikubo#chrisis translates stuff
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Hands On
Summary: Dalmi appreciates the majestic wonders that are Nam Dosan’s hands.
Author's note: I’ve never seen a ship war before in kdrama land so I was completely unprepared for some of the things I saw in this tag lol but I mean I guess it’s cool that this show is making everyone feel so much. I think Dodal is absolutely adorable as a couple and every time they hug or do anything domestic I swoon like a maiden in an erotica novel. Enjoy whatever pairing you want but I will be writing Dodal strictly as I don’t see any romance between the other pairing. I am many thoughts but not time sadly, I wrote this during my daily commute so excuse any typos and the brevity.
Those wide palms wrap around her simultaneously comforting and overwhelming her, there are moments when those hands are mesmerizing; clicking at keys and making miracles become a reality. His brilliant mind is the catalyst but those fingers are the agents and she longs to cling to them, thank them and worship them.
Then, there other moments when they grip her face and dismantle her calm systemically taking her apart like a machine, then putting her back together effortlessly with a disarming nervous smile. His eyes squinting the way they always do when his heart is fluttering.
The first time she kisses his hand the blush that blazes across his high cheekbones is adorable, too pure. She feels dirty for imagining wrapping her lips around them and seeing how they taste.
Until she finally swallows them and he looks absolutely dazed and destroyed by the simple act, she knows in that moment she wants to be the one to do everything with him.
She wants him, Nam Dosan.
But she's never had this with anyone before, never had a shoulder to lay her head on or someone to lift her off the ground when she was so happy she thought her cheeks might crack. As much as she puts up a strong front and pushes into any space that he occupies, in the deep crevice of her mind she's just as terrified as he visibly is.
So she takes small steps, takes Dosan's advice and tests her hypothesis that he wants her as much as she wants him.
It starts with a brush of fingers, his sizeable hand is merely inches from her own and stagnant for once. He'd paused into the middle of a fit of genius, worrying his cuticle between sharp teeth. And her response is instantaneous, she snatches his hand away before peering at the skin to ensure it's not bleeding. His hands are beautiful. Strong and capable of making the impossible plausible, they should be protected at all cost.
"Don't do that, you'll make yourself bleed." She lightly chastises, twisting the digit left and right and sighing when she sees there is no permanent damage.
His eyes are bright and frantic, ping ponging between her face and her firm grasp on his hand. Soon his cheeks turn rosy and she almost laughs, even without the E.T she's able to read him like a book; they've kissed until their lips were sore but this is still enough to get his heart racing.
"I'm sorry." He softly replies, making no move to escape from her hold and looking reprimanded as if he's actually done something to her.
She wraps her empty hand around the hand she confiscated, sandwiching his hands between hers.
"Don't abuse these. I like them. A lot." She squeezes his hands tightly, stroking at the smooth skin before bringing them up to her lips and placing two smacking kisses on his wrist.
His silence is deafening but his face provides all the answers she needs, pupils dilated and his teeth now leaving indents in his bottom lip.
She vaguely wonders if he knows the indecent picture he makes, but he frequently does this unknowingly seduces her with this actions.
"You do realize that the rest of us are also in this room right? " Saha's voice cuts through the haze sounding affronted, sneering at them over her phone.
It's only then that she shifts her eyes from Dosan's pretty blush and gazes around the room, the other two members of Samsan tech are pointedly looking at the ground, Chul-san even going as far as whistling and pointing out patterns in the floor regaling about how wonderful the office is as if they haven't been here for weeks now.
She supposes she should feel embarrassed but she can't muster up any shame.
She opts to tease instead.
Smirking at the other girl she grabs at her perfectly manicured hand across the table, "Are you jealous? Do you want some attention too hmm?"
The prissy designer squawks loudly as Dalmi puckers up and then Chul-san leaps up pushing his chair in a haste to defend the designer, bodily blocking her from Dalmi's gaze and she can't contain that giggle that bubbles up in her chest.
"I'll protect you!"
A glance over reveals that Chul-san is the one who needs protection with the glacial glare being sent his way, Saha stands in a huff leaving without any explanation. No one reacts except the goofy coder who watches her departure with forlorn eyes.
Throughout the commotion, Dalmi never releases the hand in her possession. Stroking him in light brushes that drag from wrist to knuckle.
She knows she should give him back his hand, he's trying his best to type with one hand and honestly still moving quicker than most but still she prepares to free him.
But suddenly the hand is yanked from her capture and she jolts at the sudden movement, turning to him with wide eyes.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" He hastily apologizes, even going as far pressing his previously snatched hand back into hers, wriggling his long fingers into her much smaller hand.
Once again his ridiculous antics disarm her and she can't help but smile at him, shaking her head before squeezing his hand and returning to her own abandoned keyboard.
"It's okay you can have your hand back, that's what makes all the magic happen." She teases him internally delighted at the more carnal thoughts that come to mind at her own words.
He's wearing his patented squinty blush™️ face now version 2.0 which includes flushed cheeks and lip biting, but he stutters out a reply after a few minutes of avoiding her eyes.
"Sorry, it's just...I was stuck on something. I couldn't make the right connection but after you....." He trails off but his eyes are fixed on her hands now, still on the table as she listens to him.
After she what? She peers back at him waiting the rest of the sentence that doesn't appear to be coming.
"After I?" She eggs him on staring up at him expectantly, even sitting he looms over her.
"Ummm...your hand. And my hand. It helped me put the pieces together."
Fondness rolls over her like a blanket as she watches this brilliant coder stutter his way through a simple explanation.
After she held his hand.
He starts to spin his chair in little half circles now, before turning back completely to his work space. Then his fingers are moving at a rapid pace, tap tap tap echoing in the room as he solves another issue as easily as he blinks.
"Thank you."
She almost misses the whispered words but she's always listening to him. She begins to shake her head, not doing anything that warrants gratitude but the smile he shoots her way leaves no room for argument.
She can do nothing but beam back at him, heart hitching when he reaches out to squeeze her hand before his friends start grumbling, she sticks her tongue out at them before skipping off to get them all coffee already memorizing all of their orders. If she stays the temptation to touch Dosan will be too much.
Her fingers are still tingling, his magic rubbing off on her.
When she makes her way back to the room Saha is back and as prickly as they're all used to. With a sigh they all throw themselves back into work.
It's been a long day, their app has crashed and no amount of tapping away at the computers is enough to fix it, she can see the way it weighs on Dosan's shoulders as if ever failure is all his fault.
After a prolonged minute he stills, his head falling onto his hands in defeat. Those broad shoulders collapsing like pillars constructed from sand. His fellow coders try to cheer him up, telling him that they will stay late with him but they all know that he doesn't need help. He so often is their lone hero.
"I'm going for walk." His voice is barely above a whisper, as he heaves himself from his chair and lifelessly stalks out the door.
Dalmi feels all eyes turn to her as she watches his exit, she wars with herself wondering if it would be better to give him space. But a voice pushes her to follow him, knowing how hard Dosan can be on himself. He's incapable of cruelty unless the one being stabbed is himself.
"I'm going to the bathroom." She lies, meaninglessly as no one believes her and Chul-san even calls out that Dosan probably went to the roof. She rolls her eyes, she already knew that. Roofs held a very special place in their relationship.
She sprints up the stairs, loose hair swinging wildly behind as she pushes the door open.
Immediately she finds her Dosan, trying to make his large body smaller sitting hunched on a metal bench, taking a minute to smooth down her flyaways she marches over to him. Pep talk on the tip of her tongue.
But she's intercepted as a new figure enters her field of vision, long amber brown hair blowing in the wind. The unknown woman stalks over to Dosan, Dalmi bristles as she watches the woman reapply lipstick before closing the gap.
She can't hear the words but she instantly knows that Dosan is being flirted with and has no idea of the occurrence, he had jumped when first approached and then after a puppy-esque head tilt started to explain something, hands in motion.
Fire simmers in her veins the longer the conversation drags on, soon the woman has taken a seat and she is all easy smiles and constant hair tucks. Then she starts to lean into his space and Dalmi brightens when he scoots away, maintaining the distance between them.
Dalmi reaches for her scrunchie, slipping it from her wrist and catching her hair up in a loose ponytail.
Marching over she walks until she's right in front of the coder, for once looking down at him before reaching out and taking his hand. Using all her strength she pulls him, at first he's rigid and immoveable and then he's standing and allowing himself to be yanked into her orbit.
The woman glares at her before raising an eyebrow, "Who are you? We were having a conversation." Annoyance drips off every word that falls from her lips.
Dalmi steps forward, as Dosan steps behind her dwarfed by her despite their laughable difference in height.
"I'm his CEO."
She glares harder at Dalmi. Now standing as well, arms crossed petulantly.
"You're just his CEO. Why are you interrupting?"
Dosan's breath hitches in the background and Dalmi wonders if he finally realized what was happening just now.
"He can't fraternize with the enemy. We're going now."
A part of her wonders if she's overstepping her boundaries but when she turns to face Dosan he's squinting into the distance and she knows that her jealousy is not unwelcomed.
When she has Dosan safely away from the poacher, she peers up at him his hand still curled around her own.
"I'm sorry."
His unwarranted apology snaps her back to reality, she almost groans at herself. She wasn't normally a possessive person but Dosan made her act stupid sometimes.
Instead of acknowledging his apology she replies, "Do you know why she was talking to you?"
He stares at her blankly before it morphs to confusion and then realization.
His eyes widen.
He nods solemnly.
"Yeah I know why."
She watches his face avidly as he opens his lips to speak once more.
"She wanted...my coding secrets. That's why she was asking me about myself and for my number. She was probably trying to become my friend to sabotage us. I promise I didn't tell her anything."
Her brain careens as she processes the new information, teeth clenching at the thought of Dosan giving another woman his number.
Then his words sink in and her stomach unclenches minutely, she believes him. But a little voice in the back of her head offers some doubt and she braces herself.
"What if she wasn't trying to use you? Would you give her your number?"
She barely as to wait a full second for a response.
"No. Why would I do that?"
"Maybe you need someone to talk to."
He looks at her as if she's grown another head, "I have Chul-san and Yong-san."
Her hold loosens.
"And I have you." He grabs the point of her chin, drawing her head up until their eyes lock once more. The warmth from his hand sinks into her skin and she nuzzles into his palm before drawing him into a hug, standing on her tip toes to wrap her arms around his neck.
After a pregnant pause he melts into her embrace, deep breaths landing on her shoulder.
"You'll figure it out. I know you will."
He nods slowly, buckled over as he tightens his hold on her waist.
"Thanks for coming for me."
She mentally makes a note to pray the next time she's in church, thank the Lord for putting him in her life perhaps he was her guardian angel sent to make heathens like her believers.
She's drunk. She can feel the alcohol singing her in blood as she sways on the sidewalk. They'd all agreed to go out for drinks to celebrate, they were in the final two for Sandbox. It was surreal and before she knew it she had stumbled from giggly and tipsy into sloshed and incoherent.
Dosan looms beside her, her shoulder bag strung across his wide chest as he watches her in the corner of his eye. The others had bulldozed into Saha's car despite the designer threatening to dump their bodies on the highway.
So here they were alone.
When the bus finally arrived, strong arms lift her taking all her weight before caroling her into a back seat of the bus. She hums happily, fuzzy memory resurfacing of them holding hands on the bus. Without thought she reaches out and catches his hand, needing to feel his skin.
His hands are slightly damp but she doesn't care, she wants all of him sweat included.
She blinks awake at his whispers of her name and soft shoves, groggy she stands up letting him guide her like she's a young child. Her nap has sobered her up some and she's thankful she decided to forgo heels today, instead donning simple flats with a gold buckle.
"Do you need a piggyback?"
She turns at his offer, considering it but that means she would have to let go of his hands and that's simply not an option. She wants to enjoy every second she has remaining with those hands.
She shakes her head in decline, squeezing his hand as they trek up the incline to her house. The moon shines big and bright in the sky, washing them with its rays.
"You're home." He announces, looking down at her fondly before she starts to swing their arms between them.
He starts to pull her bag over his head, and the words tumble out of her mouth, her tongue loosened by all the alcohol she's consumed.
"What do you like about me?"
He stills at her question, eyes widening before his lips shift open. He looks lost for a minute and her patience wears thin as she awaits his response, when none arrives she huffs stomping her feet and repeating louder, "What do you like about me?"
Still he stares wordlessly and she drags her hand away, snatching her bag and turning to enter her house. She takes three and a half steps before he catches her wrist, she doesn't turn around but she pauses her escape.
A deep winded breaths swooshes past her ear and then he replies, "I...I like a lot."
She glares over her shoulder, and he withers under her stare. Large hands reaching out to caress her jaw as he looks at her with liquid eyes.
"Umm your smile, you have a great smile."
Said smile makes a guest appearance and she hums, "What else?" He smiles at her, the juxtaposition not lost on him.
"Your confidence, you believe in yourself." The and me is silent but still there. That brings a sad smile to her face, his own confidence is a work in progress. Suddenly dehydrated she swipes her tongue across the surface of her upper lip, pulling the bottom in and releasing it with a wet smack.
The act lasts all of three seconds but Dosan freezes, eyes fixated on her mouth although nothing is happening now.
His fingers inch towards her mouth until she can feel the heat and she waits for his next move.
When he makes none, she steps closer tugging him to meet her halfway.
Then finally as if that were his cue, he presses his thumb into her bottom lip, running across the plump moist flesh utterly entranced and red faced.
"I like your lips."
His actions are speaking loud enough but his words scorch her up and before she can consider the fact that they are outside her house, she swivels her head and pops his thumb into her mouth, his salty flavor exploding on her tongue. His hand feels even larger inside of her and she moans at the sensation.
His eyes are blown out and he's so still she doubts he's breathing, he looks helpless as he watches her sink further down the wide digit.
She swirls her tongue around the pad of this thumb and she swears Dosan melts into her. All of his bones seeming to liquefy.
When she slides off his thumb he's still dazed and dumbfounded, lips opening and closing like a fish sputtering on land.
She's nothing if not an opportunist and she crashes into him, tugging him down to meet her as she sucks the soju off his tongue. He groans into the kiss but lets her lead, bending when she grapples with his shoulder.
They kiss like that for a few seconds, twisting and turning to devour each other before she feels him drifting away and before she can whine at the loss of his lips, her feet leave the ground and they are eye level.
His hands are vices on her lower back, pressing her immeasurably close to his solid torso.
She wraps her legs around him like a koala and before he can combust from their provocative position she's already licking into his mouth, gripping his hair tightly as she moves him as she pleases.
One of his hands creep up and cup the back of her head, and then she's being moved backwards until her back slams into something solid. He tries to pull away, concern contorting his features but she dives into his neck nipping at the hot skin there. She suckles roughly, knowing that she'll leave a mark and anticipating the pretty mark on his blemish free skin.
Then as quickly as his fingers typically move on his keyboard he backs away from her.
She's unprepared for her legs to crash back onto the ground and she looks up at him disgruntled, question forming before her door bursts open.
Then the sweet familiar voice of her grandmother cuts through the tension that has settled between them.
"Dalmi is that you?"
Dosan grabs her bag swinging it back over his shoulder again, standing ramrod straight like he’s rehearsing for a role in the army.
Tipsy now from his kiss, she turns around meeting her grandmother's eyes. Trying her damnest not to look as ravished as she feels, her lips are tender in a the right ways.
"Oh goodness look at you. You look a mess, you stuck your head out the window again didn't you? Look at how red and sore your lips are!"
She pointedly doesn't react to the exclamation but Dosan shuffles in her peripheral. Guilty and nervous.
Thankfully grandmother hasn't yet learned his many tells.
"Thank you for bringing her home." She thanks Dosan sending an indulgent smile his way, before guiding Dalmi into the house. She twists around to wave good bye to Dosan and notices her bag still over his shoulder. She opens her mouth to call out and get it back before she notices how red Dosan is, his cheeks look painfully tinged but that's nothing compared to his white knuckled grip on her bag which is strategically placed in front of his groin.
Oh.
She's makes a show of looking him up and down before licking her mouth, ever so slowly and puckering at him. The last thing she sees before her door closes is Dosan wringing his hand, looking devastated.
She can't wait to get her hands on him.
#start up#tvn start up#startup#Nam do san#seo dalmi#dodal#hands fic#he's so innocent I have smutty thoughts but I couldn't write them right off the bat#working my way up to it
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Lie to Me Theory: Music Video
Start Here: Lie to Me Theory: Timeline
There is no way to beat around this part of theory. It must be approached directly and bravely. All of what has happened in the timeline to here has left people distracted. So no one would be looking for the ultimate truth in a video about lying. Luke is singing. He addresses four different people. Everyone is represented by cars: three different parties. Two different agendas for being in relationships. All stemming from one reason.
First we need to talk about the two truly significant elements of the Lie to Me Music Video: the lyrics and the center car.
What do we mean by lyrics? The ones available on AZlyrics or Genius? The ones they’re singing? Not this time.
From the video description.
Artist frequently put their lyrics in the description of their videos. 5SOS does this on a number of their videos. This is the only one of their videos where the lyrics in the description 1. from a different version of the song and 2. have a typo in them
Here is one of the screenshots of the LTM Official MV that I took.
These were the official lyrics that Ashton, Calum and Luke wrote with Ali Tamposi. And then a very talented and good female singer, Julia Michaels, was brought in so they could make the official lyrics publicly available
It is strange that they would do this. Why not just leave both versions of the lyrics under the proper versions of each video? Unless the lyrics of the official audio version aren’t actually the right lyrics.
It is careless and weird that the grammar on most of their videos (all of their other music videos) is good and then suddenly on LTM the first typo on a music video appears. They would have caught it and fixed it by now, surely.
These boys don’t know how to spell “Change” huh? ‘Chang’
Don’t know how to edit the description of a YouTube video? Forgot to? Don’t care to? Remember when Michael told Luke on twitter to go back to school.
Change is the only word mispelled in the description of any of their music videos...because the lyrics were “Changed.”
Yes, it is entirely possible something this cryptic occurred.
Think Think Think
The cleverness within this band should not be underestimated. Time and time again, artists under Modest! have used covert means to convey the truth of their situations without the majority of their audiences noticing.
These in the description are the original lyrics of LTM. The lyrics of the official release were changed to fit the image that management wanted to promote. This seems to be the implication, so interpretation of the music video rests on these lyrics and not the ones they are singing.
Symbolic Cars
This part was easy for people to pick up on.
Represented on the passenger side of the center car by 96 like Hemmo1996.
Then there’s the other side of the car.
Represented on the driver’s side of the center car by these two lower-cased letters: ae. So who’s ae?
There are a number of options for people special enough in Luke’s life that he might want in the car with him, in fact, a person he cares enough about that that person might be the driver. A person with ae in their name. So there’s a lot of those. What narrows down the options is that ae is a person who is close to Luke but in the same situation as Luke. They are both circled by cars that represent threats to their wellbeing. So you can decide who ae is. It couldn’t be a coincidence that this video was released the week of Michael Clifford’s engagement. That would be ludicrous.
Now we can talk about the video story
L can see the mess before he agrees to be a part of it. The two cars are already circling like sharks before he gets into the car. He still gets into the car, sitting in the backseat. He’s surrendered for the next half of the video. Pain and heartbreak etched into his face.
The circling cars represent “toxic people” like Ashton clued. So the circling cars are toxic relations.
He addresses the first chorus primarily to the circling car with toxic person #1. This is a person who left him not only emotionally fraught but publicly humiliated him and scarred his reputation, then dropped all responsibility for fun and left him to do the clean up.
And now I wish we never met
because you are too hard to forget
While I’m cleaning up your mess
I know he’s taking off your dress
And I know that you don’t, but if I ask you if you love me
I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me
The easy interpretation:
1. The person involved is sleeping with someone else but L isn’t angry that he’s been betrayed. Maybe because he loves her so much he could even forgive that...or maybe because he actually never loved her.
2. Her marks on his life still causes a lot of grief because she publicly humiliated him and took no responsibility, so this is why all his regret stems from being stuck in the dump she threw him into
3. But he’s in communication with her---so he can ask her questions. Like if she still loves him. But that doesn’t make sense if he didn’t even like her that much.
“LTM represents when someone is in a relationship for something other than what you are there for.” Like fame or publicity, but Luke is using her for something else entirely.
Luke was being used because he was in a vulnerable situation. He still is in a vulnerable situation. It made it easy for others to hurt him but he didn’t rely on them.
He starts by regretting the toxic relationship, but in these last two lines, he is turning to a different person, his person.
Luke’s voice lifts at the end of each chorus as he turns to his last hope. “And I know that you don’t” because he sees how disgusted the person must be by the situation “but if I ask you if you love me, I hope you lie...” I hope you’ll love me. Despite how much you couldn’t--don’t like me.
It’s 3 am and the moonlight’s testing me
I know you’ve been holding onto someone else
And now I can’t sleep (Ah)
I ain’t happy, oh
I ain’t too happy, oh
This verse starts immediately after the first time we get to see the driver’s side of the car where it says ae. This is extremely coincidental. It’s shifting focus onto another person.
So he’s addresses ae basically, ‘I feel tested. I’ve turned to you and begged you to take me, but you’ve been acting like me, holding on to the same stories I’ve been through with a toxic person. It worries me. I am not happy. But I am also not mad at you.’
Luke holds back from accusing ae even though he would like to. He is wounded again by ae’s actions but he does not want to outright blame ae for the situation that they are both stuck in the center of.
Flashing back to New York City
Chang your flight so you stay with me
Remember thinking that I got this right
‘Flashing back’ is when we recall memories. Nostalgia sets in for a better time. The first pre-chorus, Luke has a balance he is reminiscing about when he at the time thought he could balance both of his relationships perfectly. There was turmoil of course--the need to re-negotiate flights because of a mess up with leaving to New York--but it was alright after that and that’s why he was led into a false sense of security that he got this “right.” Did anyone ever have to change flights when they were trying to leave New York city because of a mistake.
It’s funny that I thought this typo was on purpose because the official lyric again is ‘Change your flight so you stay with me’ but if it was really meant to be ‘changed’ then it would fit a dual purpose, warning us about the lyric flop and talking about that one time someone had their flight changed when they were trying to stay with Luke too. I’m dropping hints like bombs but I’m not saying what I’m talking about yet and it’s hilarious and terrible. Later post I promise.
Flashing back to New York City
I was done but you undid me
Classic me to run when it feels right
The second time, Luke runs away from New York City, symbol of stability and security within his relationship with ae. He was done--he didn’t have any interest in connection with any of the toxic ones--but you undid me--again the theme of being humiliated and having a slaughtered reputation, the pain that goes with that. And now after the 3am verse Luke is with ae, and done with TP #1, but ae’s ‘someone else,’ the second circling car, the other toxic person, is there to ruin Luke’s life again but by being attached to ae. This time Luke wants out. He’s so done already but this person is causing him double the agony that the last one did because he’s involving someone he cares for deeply. And he leaves the car before either of the circling cars smash into it. There is no Luke to hurt. Luke got out when “it feels right.” He knew this time that things were going well with ae but he gave up on ae because he was tired.
While Luke was humiliated, and went through a great deal of grief because of his toxic relationship, at no time during the car collisions do we see 96. Instead, the footage of the driver’s side of the car with the prominent ae is flipped so it looks as though the wheel of the car is on the right side passenger side of the car. It’s as though everything that once applied to Luke’s situation now applies to ae’s cause holy shit.
As it turns out, ae takes the hardest hit. The tempo is the most upbeat it was the entire video during the last chorus. Luke is still surrendered to the situation but he’s protesting against the way they have been treated. Now all the boys are united, not just watching Luke. They’re all supporting each other. Luke is talking to Toxic Relationship person 2 in this chorus. He is stronger now. He’s done this before and the boys are supporting him. He’s standing up for ae.
Last chorus:
Now I wish we never met
'Cause you're too hard to forget
While he's taking off my dress
I know she's laying on your chest
The relationship between himself and ae is the strongest it’s ever been, but even when ae’s taking off Luke’s clothes, Luke can tell that ae’s toxic relationship weighs on his heart. It is as though she is laying on his chest like depression weighs on the heart. Also this is gay if it’s real.
Final verses:
I know that you don't, but if I ask you if you love me
I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me
Singing, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie
Li-li-lie, lie, lie, lie, lie
Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie
Li-li-lie, lie, lie, lie, lie (Yeah yeah)
I know that you don't, but if I ask you if you love me
I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me
The last part “I know that you don’t....” is repeated twice with many desperate pleas for lies. It is repeated twice for both types of relationships: toxic and ae.
For toxic, he hopes that they pretend that they love him. He’ll even sing their lies. For ae, he hopes whenever they are in public playing their games of animosity, if he ever slips up and does something loving or a giveaway, he hopes ae will lie about loving Luke too and follow through playing their pretend game of hate because it’s the only way to avoid making the situation worse, and that’s the one thing the management and the boys want.
Then the car explodes
Because he knows, they know, it’s not going to work. All the lies are going to blow them up. So the car explodes. Showing ae. The lies literally made ae explode.
An hour after the Lie to Me Music Video premieres, Michael’s fiancee announces publicly that they are engaged.
Take care everyone :) tpwk including you
#5sos#5 seconds of summer#lie to me#Luke Hemmings#Michael Clifford#ashton irwin#calum hood#lie to me theory#muke#muke clemmings#kaleidoscope heart and soul#real fans save bands
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