#also love the descriptions they really set the stage tbh

[x-reader-things]

I’m so intrigued w / readers backstory and also what’s going on w / Noxus, oml-

And the banter w / her and the other characters??? Love it sm-

ALSO REFERENCES TO PERCY JACKSON MY BELOVED - and also the thing w / the talking goat shooting better, that sounded like a Wicked reference too but I can’t be too sure-

Vi best older sibling figure fr sometimes, she cannot escape being an older sister at all [real so can’t I lmao]-

Also Ekko- <333 that is all-

Actually no I lied that’s not all, I have my gripes w / season two but I love how it’s not just Jinx he’s haunted with here [in any sense, be it platonic or romantic bc regardless of either they were still childhood best friends before shit hit the fan] - but also what happened that day - and also his reach around Zaun and his relationship w / Zaunites that gets explored here too I love that [season two was sorely lacking that aspect imo]

Also the scenes with the councilors!! Love political intrigue like that sm oml- gives me a bit of inspiration for this one idea I’m thinking of writing myself too I’m ngl- :00

Writing’s awesome as always- :DD

Ink and Bedrock

Pairing: Ekko x fem! Reader

Word count: 8.9k

Synopsis: You're tasked to record what happened to Piltover over three years ago. A determined scholar who's willing to get the story of war and warn people about its horrors no matter how much it takes. And Ekko's side is what you need to accomplish the behemoth task. What happens when free flowing ink meets an unmovable bedrock?

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Noxian! Reader, Historian! Reader, Reader has nicknames, spoilers for s2, set 3 years after s2, CW blood and death mention, CW food mentions, CW injury, arcane characters apperance, part 1 of 2 (or 3), slowburn.

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A/N: Special thanks to @pleaktale ❤️

Part 1 >>> Part 2

Your suitcase weighs heavy in your hand as you step off the blimp for the first time. The breeze kisses your cheeks as if it's greeting you in glee. Your eyes slowly scan up the building, breath stuck in your throat at how the hex tower shines in the sun, its gold inlays melds perfectly with its white columns, making it look like you've stepped into a heavenly place. It could truly be a heavenly place in a few years. After the war ravaged Piltover and its people, it took them some time to recover from the pain it caused. Pain that your own people had a hand in causing. You could only hope that the people here accept you just as well as the wind does.

Shoes clicking against the steel floor, you can still see glimpses of the fight that occurred through the marks it left. Shattered concrete still waits in every corner to be patched up. Burn marks in different odd shapes are left etched on the pavement and metal floors like a grim reminder of the past.

As you head further outside, it gets brighter, the breeze seems to carry laughter. The sun bathes the trees in its light, still breathing through it all.

You can see hope in every person's face as you walk past, but you can sense their grief through those eyes, sadness dotted along their worry lines as they go about their day. Hope is driving them to rebuild, to concur that grief embedded in their bones. You hope that they reach their goals so they could live again, not just surviving from day to day while seeing those seared ashen walls in the shape of war.

You don't notice your knuckles shaking while gripping your suitcase. Eyes downcast, you fix your hold on the leather strap, nails leaving indents on your trembling palms. Walking through Piltover's streets has your mind making up visions of unnecessary bloodshed hidden in-between its concrete crevices. All the weapons drawn and pointed at each other, souls lost in what could've been something preventable. Yet, as you walk on the same blood soaked streets, you see all the residents rebuilding what was lost. It's only been three years since the conflict, but you can see that they've made progress in the land of progress.

The buildings are looking much better than what you saw in the reports. The hex tower is being rebuilt with a different purpose this time. The place no longer hums with remnants of the arcane.

People smile and walk to coffee shops with their loved ones, chatting and living in the moment despite what happened in the very place they sit upon. You admire them from afar, guilt trying to snake its way inside your chest, threatening to close around your heart.

You'll atone for the sins, one step at a time. Even if they drive you away, even if they curse and spit at you, you'll endure because they have endured so much more.

You promised Mel and your professor that you'll bring the truth to your fellow noxians and perhaps to the rest of Runeterra. And you intend to keep that promise.

Heart thudding in your chest, you finally make it to the Kiramman estate. The large gates open for you automatically, footsteps growing heavy with every step you take.

A guard watches you with his narrowed gaze, eyes scanning your crimson clothes and the fire in your determined eyes. With apprehension, he opens the door with a creak. As you enter and leave the cold Piltover streets, the air gets heavy as you go deeper into the mansion with a uniformed woman guiding you towards what you surmise as the office. The large double doors loom over you, shadow casting over your form.

She knocks, and you hear a commanding voice from the inside.

—

Caitlyn Kiramman, you've heard stories about her from the younger Medarda, stories of bravery and anguish laced within her decisions. You don't blame her for siding with Ambessa, she was cunning and ambitious, everything that the young and unwilling Kiramman head needed to shutter her grief close to her chest and use it as a fuel to keep herself warm in her time of grief. You suppose that's what the woman next to her is doing as she reads the letter you've given Caitlyn over her shoulder. You can see in her dark eyes that she's still atoning for her past sins.

You sit still on the plush seat, hands placed on your lap to show that you're not feeling nervous about you being here. Meanwhile in your head you're practically running laps around the room to stave off your anxiety. You find the two of them intimidating, Caitlyn sits on the same chair her ancestors have used. A seat built on years of leadership and hardwork, it's daunting to say the least, you suppose you admire her bearing that. The pink haired woman next to her has perched herself on the armchair, eyes reading the letter of recommendation written by Mel Medarda herself. A letter explaining why you're here, and what exactly your purpose of being in the same place her mother declared war and tried to conquer just over three years ago.

Your eyes roam the expansive room, its walls are in deep chestnut, all lined with her house colours, and dozens of oil paintings with her ancestors’ portraits looking down on you with their authoritative gaze. Scanning the bookshelves, your eyes pause at the pink haired woman who's already watching you with her apprehensive stare, your own eyes meeting with hers.

“Vi, right?” You ask, trying incredibly hard to stabilize your words. “Mel told me about you.”

She raises a brow, “I'm surprised she even remembers me.”

You shrug, “she seems to always know about everyone.”

“What's your relationship with her?” Caitlyn finally speaks, lithe hands folding the letter neatly.

“A friend, I guess?” You smile nervously. “Well, barely, an acquaintance more like.” They look at you, eyes swimming with even more questions. So you give them the answer. “My professor knows her. I don't know exactly how, but they seem to be close. She recommended me to Mel when she was looking for someone like me.”

“A historian? A journalist?” Vi glances briefly at Caitlyn, arm leaning over the back of her chair casually.

“Exactly, a bit of both actually.” you nod, “I—”

“You just finished your studies, what's your business being Mel Medarda’s ambassador?” Caitlyn asks suspiciously, eyes narrowed towards you. Well, she gets the job done being that blunt.

“I'm not her ambassador, technically.” You squeeze your hands together briefly before letting go, a nervous tick of yours. “I'm just here to record and write everything that happened that day.”

“Why?” She pokes and prods.

“The letter—”

“I know what the letter says, I want to know what you think.”

“I understand your apprehension. I really do.” Your eyes swim with silent empathy. “My job is to tell people, my people, exactly what happened here. The situation over there is… isn't good. I'm here so that they know what the arcane is capable of, what Ambessa did, and the cost of that war.” You lean forward, elbows perched on your knees, “I'm here so that they don't make the same mistake again, so that history doesn't repeat itself.”

Caitlyn tips her head at you, lips pursed into a thin line. While Vi stares heavily at the letter on the table with the Medarda wax seal stamped on it.

“I've seen the effects of it, war. I've never experienced it or lived through it but I've seen what it leaves in its wake, and it's all disaster, death and—” you squeeze your hands into tight fists before letting the pressure go. “Noxus has been entrenched in war for thousands of years. If my work here could prevent just a few years of war then it'll be worth it. Noxians— Runeterra needs to see what war is capable of, what it leaves on the people they've ravaged.” You exhale, “it's not much, but someone has to try. Even if it's just a small step toward peace.”

“This isn't the first time you've done something like this?” Vi asks in a solemn tone.

“Unfortunately,” you utter, voice trembling. “but this is the first time I'm doing this alone. My professor has gotten too old to travel.”

“Mel has said in her letter that you have a spark. Talented, have a way with words. And determined, never settling for a no nonsense answer.” Caitlyn taps the piece of paper in front of her.

You smile, “I'd like to think so too.”

“I don't think that was a compliment, Spark.” Vi’s lips curl into a smirk. “She just called you annoying.” Caitlyn furrows her brows, side eyeing her partner.

You mirror her smile. “Well, I'll take it as a compliment.”

Caitlyn clears her throat, index rubbing along where her eye patch sits over eye. She seems…tired, like she has been working longer than she has lived. “I'll get you settled at an apartment here, then I'll tell the council about you. If they approve, then you can start your research.”

“Thank you.” You sigh, relieved that your journey wasn't in vain. “Can I interview you two then?”

Vi blinks, “us?”

“Preferably alone, if you're comfortable with that. Just like you said, Ms. Kiramman, I don't take no nonsense answers.” You smile genuinely at them. “You two are just as important in the story. It wouldn't be complete without your personal accounts.”

Caitlyn stands up, and you immediately think you've fucked up. You're already counting down your days. “If the council votes yes, then you can interview us, and everyone you want to talk to.” She reaches for you, and you quickly stand up to meet her halfway with a shake of her stretched hand.

“I won't disappoint you or Piltover. I'll write your history as truthfully as I can.”

She nods, releasing your hand.

“Don't forget Zaun.” Vi says, standing up and giving you your letter back.

“I'm allowed there?” You take the letter, tucking it inside your coat pocket.

“Of course,” she scoffs, head gesturing towards the large window that overlooks the bridge connecting Zaun and Piltover. “It's open, kid, just cross the bridge.”

You can't help but think that she's egging you on, trying to rile you up by your fear of the undercity. It would work if you were actually afraid of it. Truth be told, you're excited to see what Zaun has in store for you.

“I'll keep that in mind.” Your smile tells them just that.

—

You feel like a piece of meat being scrutinized by the whole council. Their eyes hold unsung words as they stare at you in their important chairs. But you're not backing down, not when you’ve come so far. The spotlight above you shines brightly, making it harder to see the council members’ faces. You didn't expect to stand before them, practically dragged by an enforcer by your ear. If you did expect it, you might've prepared a speech or something. Now you're just standing there awkwardly under the harsh light.

“She's Noxian.” The one with platinum blond hair says, ringed fingers tapping on Mel's letter that they've passed around. “People might not be comfortable with her running around. For all we know she could be a spy.”

You scrunch your face, mouth clamped shut to prevent a nasty word from escaping.

“That's why she should be running around,” Caitlyn defends you. She sits on the head of the circular table, blue hair shining under the light. “The people need to not be afraid of them any longer. Are you afraid, councilor?”

The blond sucks in her teeth, annoyed.

“Caitlyn's right, it'll be good in the long run. If what the letter has stated is true, then we might be able to establish trade routes with Noxus in the future.” The councilor with a golden mask hiding half of their face says, voice gentle and soft amidst the previous arguing. “Mend the relationship between our two countries.” A handful of them nod in agreement.

“Say,” someone with short hair and strong features says, “does it work? Telling them about the shit they've done?”

“Yes,” you stand up straighter. “My professor has been recording these histories for a couple hundred years or so. Whenever her writing has reached the people it has helped. Little by little the histories have opened our eyes to the cruelty of war. I wouldn't be here if it hadn't worked.” They listen to you intently. “I'm the direct evidence of that.”

She shifts in her seat, dark eyes swirling with thoughts, and a metal arm glimmering under the light. “Are you from a noble house just like Medarda?”

“No, I'm just like everyone else in Noxus. Our research and expenses have been sponsored by a noble house though. That's the only connection I have with the nobles of Noxus.” You swallow thickly, “only just recently I've found myself acquainted with Mel Medarda.”

“You've mentioned your professor and his unusually long lifespan, and due to that, he has gathered what…” A stout council member flips through a book, you guess he has done his research about you. “Approximately 271 first hand accounts of Noxus’ cruelty?”

“It's 283,” you say with a steely gaze. “And she isn't like everyone else. She has chosen to use her long lifespan to help, to enhance her knowledge, not gather riches for her own benefit.”

“Do you intend to do the same?” Caitlyn asks, voice calm and reserved.

“Yes,” you close your hands into fists, this time you don't release the pressure. “I won't be able to live as long as her, but I can try to achieve something close to what she has done.”

“You remind me of someone.” Caitlyn's muffled words were so quiet you thought you heard wrong. Before you could simmer on what she has said, she clears her throat. “We can monitor her progress by meeting up with her every week until she has finished her work. Make sure that she's writing the whole truth.” They nod at her words. “All in favour of her staying and doing her research?”

The air grows heavy, stifling as they ponder what Caitlyn relayed to them. For a minute or so, you thought you were about to go empty handed.

The woman with the metal arm raises her hand in favour. Then more follow, until only two of the council members remain.

“That settles it then.” Caitlyn nods at you, and you feel like a fish bone stuck in your throat has been finally pulled out. “You may interview anyone who is willing. Don't make us regret this decision.”

You inhale deeply, you feel the world is sitting atop your shoulders now. “I won't.”

—

Violet and Caitlyn receive you in a much brighter mood than before. The office is filled with sunlight as it spreads across the expansive room, the curtains are furled, and the weather has cleared up since you got into Piltover. The air smells like bergamot and a hint of something sweet. A sweetness that is revealed when a plate of sugar cookies is placed on the table in front of you, accompanied by a cup of steaming tea.

You've been interviewing them for more than three hours now, hence why they've brought out the snacks and drinks that are slowly getting colder as it lays there untouched. With every question they answer, the scene of war gets clearer and clearer in your head. And as you go further and further into the conversation, their expression changes from sadness to anger. You take care of your wording from then on, make sure that you show tact in front of their war torn faces.

“What happened up there?” You ask after they both recall their side of the story. “While Violet was fighting with…” you pause as Vi exhales shakily. Clearing your throat, you don't poke and prod at her side anymore. She's still living through the pain of what happened, they all are. Caitlyn seems to think the same thing. “I'm sorry.”

“How about we continue that part for next time?” She squeezes Vi’s hand affectionately. “As for what happened up in the hextower with Viktor and Jace, we don't know the whole story. We just know that Ekko was the one who ended it.” You write the name atop your notebook for reference, the tip of your gilded pen tapping along it.

“He hasn't talked to us about it.” Vi adds after a bated breath. “Or to me after….Jinx.” Her brows pinch together in hurt. “I still have no idea how he got her to help us. All I know is that he did everything he could to end it. For that we’re grateful for him, even if he doesn't want us to be.”

“Jinx,” you repeat the stranger's name softly. Mind locking his and her name together. “Was Ekko close with your sister?”

She chuckles, eyes turned towards the smoke rising from her cup. “Once, when we were kids.”

Cait leans closer towards her, thumb brushing gently atop her calloused knuckles. “You don't have to tell it now if you don't want to, Vi.”

“I'm sorry about your sister.” You gently shut your notebook close. “I don't want to push you into recalling a memory that still aches.”

“You can tell that she's gone by that? I must look fucking sad right now then.” Vi half jokes, nudging Cait’s shoulder with her own, a subtle way of saying that she's alright.

You smile gently, “I know the look, I've seen it a hundred times before. But it doesn't feel any easier every time I see it. I really am sorry.”

Vi sighs, and Cait squeezes her once more. “You're right, let's do this some other time.” She stands up abruptly, pacing towards the open window, basking in the warmth of the Piltover sun. Your lips are already forming apologies, “and don't say sorry again.” She looks over her shoulder as Caitlyn follows right behind her. “You're just doing your job. Don't worry, I'm not gonna lunge at you for asking about it.”

You nod, standing up. “When you're ready, I'm just here. Thank you for your time.”

They both nod as Caitlyn's hands rub along Vi’s arms. Before you could leave, Caitlyn calls after you. Her heels clicking against the marble floors as she walks over to you. “Wait here.” You do as you're told. She turns around towards the coffee table to grab a handful of cookies, placing it over an open napkin and then folding it neatly. “You should talk to Sevika, she's a council member representing Zaun. She could help with their side of the story.” She reaches for your hand when you only stare at her, opening your palm for you and giving you the wrapped cookies. “Figured you haven't eaten yet.”

“Thank you, Caitlyn.” You smile sweetly at her, hand now heavy with the cookies.

“Sevika talks to Ekko almost everyday ever since they've become partners in restoring Zaun. You'll have a better chance at having a minute with him through her.”

“Where is she in Zaun?”

“Are you afraid now?” She raises a thin brow, eyes shining under the sunlight.

“Not even a little.” You smile, “I just heard that it's easy to get lost in the lanes.”

Cait nods, “She's near the harbour.”

“Thank you,” you turn to open the door but before you do, you look back at them. “and thank you for the hospitality.”

—

You walk through Zaun with purpose. The lanes look much better than what you've seen through reports. The streets are no longer dark and bleak, there are street lamps in every corner, and the shops look like they're thriving just as well as their Piltover counterparts. There are green overgrowths, flowers and grass peeking from concrete cracks and vines growing and slithering atop metal walls.

You've only been in Piltover for a week, and you've spent most of it talking to willing council members and citizens. They all convey the same thing you've seen before in people who have suffered tremendous trauma. The hurt is embedded in their eyes, grief in their bones. But you also see the same thing in their tone just like what you've seen countless times before— hope, it's laced in their way of talking, weaved through their movements as they go about their day to day operations. You can see that they're looking forward to tomorrow, even when the past still knocks on their doors. You see them answer the knocking, but never letting it enter and fester in their home.

You see the same thing in Zaun, they've suffered as much as Piltover had, even more before the war. The walls still bear the violence it once carried, the air still shifts with heaviness and voices lost in the very streets you're walking on. The place buzzes with life, Zaunites rebuilding their home, people carry on, life carries on.

As you go further and further into the heart of the undercity, you see the same face on the walls, blue hair flowing in the breeze, shining eyes staring down at you through her steely gaze. Every corner you see a semblance of the mysterious girl, blue and pink trailing behind her, people rallying alongside her. They all bear the same hope, some weave anger akin to a woman scorned through the graffiti, some etch her face with sorrow and loss. But it's all the same face, same eyes, same hair. You think you already know who she is.

You make it to the center of Zaun where a hefty statue stands. It's a sculpture of a man with an air of authority around him. Curious, you read the plaque next to his feet, reading his name— Vander. You recognize his name from what Violet has told you. Looking up at him, you see through his bronze eyes, if only he could talk, all the stories he would tell.

His statue has blue flowers placed at his feet in respect to him. There’s a banging sound right behind it, getting your attention. Peeking behind the statue, you see what looks like a bar being rebuilt upon the ashes of what it used to be. With one last look at Vander, you continue towards your destination.

Walking along the harbour brings you peace, the water lapping at the coast. You hug your coat tighter around your torso, cold breeze seeping through the fabric as the air flutters your lashes.

You make it to Sevika's place without a hitch. She surprisingly waits for you right outside her door, expression flat as she stands on the steps.

“Finally made it.” She wears a brown poncho over a white shirt, silky hair falling over her face. “Vi told me you were coming.” She answers your silent question when she sees your confused expression. “Come.” Before you could get a word in, she's already heading inside.

—

Your eyes as usual roam around your surroundings, ever curious at what kind of person you're about to talk to. Her office is smaller compared to the Kiramman estate, but it doesn't lack personality. The work table in front of you is solid oak, papers and metal parts litter over it right next to a heavy looking arm with colourful doodles all over it. The walls are concrete, a honeycomb brown painted over it. The circular windows are fully open, overlooking the harbour below. It lets in a cool sea breeze while the sun has fully set in the horizon. The quiet hum of the lights and radiator tamps down any left over anxiety you have.

Right behind Sevika's chair lies an aquarium filled with colourful fish and rocks placed on the aquarium floor. It gurgles and lets out air from time to time, it's faint blue light bathing your form. The potted plants dotted along the room dance in the breeze, its rustling sound reminds you of the tree back home swaying in the wind.

From what you've heard about her, she seems like a woman of few words, someone who prefers to use her fist instead of talking. But based on what you've heard from her so far after talking to her for two hours, she seems far from what she used to be. You look at her and you see a council member, a pillar of Zaun. A lot can happen in three years.

Your eyes glance back towards the metal arm, its shark-like feature has you curious at how it even works. Index reaching towards it, chair creaking from under you, your curiosity makes you touch the cold metal, its pink and blue paint rough against the pad of your finger.

The door creaks open as Sevika enters, light flooding inside the room and you immediately flinch back into your seat. “You're sitting in the dark, kid.” She flicks the light switch beside her, warm yellow light flooding in.

You look over the backrest of the chair to see her properly and not a reflection of her on the aquarium glass. “I didn't know where the light switch was.” She didn't seem to notice what you were just doing.

“You could've asked.” Her heavy footsteps thump on the creaky floorboards.

“Don't worry, I'm not afraid of the dark—” the clang of a metallic plate placed in front of you makes you jump in your seat. You stare at her, wide-eyed.

She chuckles lowly, sitting down on her seat with a tired grunt. Gesturing towards a plate of salted biscuits, and small sandwiches, she meets with your eyes confidently. “Sorry for the lack of spread. I didn't expect for us to take this long.” She takes the same heavy arm from the table, grabbing a bottle and oiling the hinges with care.

“It's fine, thank you.” You grab a biscuit, all the while eyeing the craftsmanship of the metallic arm. Sevika notices your stare.

“What, never seen one of these before?”

“No, I've seen prosthetics before. It's just— this one is unique looking.” You say while chewing, finding the biscuit pleasantly salty. The sandwich looks enticing from where you're sitting.

She chuckles wryly. “A fancy way of saying it looks fucked up. I rarely use it these days, I use this one instead” she lifts up the simpler looking metal arm she currently has on. “I just like to…take care of it. Make sure it doesn't rust.”

You smile, “it means a lot to you, I get it.” Your thumb brushes along your beloved pen. “It looks well made, did you build it yourself?”

“It was a gift.” She hums in reply, now wiping a cloth around the arm. “Where were we?”

“We're at the part where I told you that we should rest.” You say with a teasing smile.

“We're done resting, kid.” She scoffs.

“And just like what I've told you before you took off, you don't need to rush it. We can take our time.”

“I want to get this over with.” Sevika leans on the table, eyes narrowed at you. “Where were we, kid?” She says with extra emphasis.

“Let's see…” You lean on the table yourself, mirroring her look but with a smug smirk while pretending to flip through the pages of your notebook. “We were at the part where your ass was being handed to you.”

If you talked to her like that three years ago, your ass would be the one being handed to you. But now, Sevika laughs loudly, moving away as she sits back on her chair.

She grabs a biscuit, using it to point at you before taking a bite. “You’ve got balls. You would've thrived here a few years ago, eh?”

“Maybe, we'll never know.” You shrug. “Now, are you sure you want to continue?”

“I've got a busy schedule, of fucking course I want to continue.”

“Okay, I just needed to make sure you're alright.”

Her eyes dart towards the arm, frowning briefly before looking back at you. She puts it down with a slight clang against the table. “I'm fine,” she sighs, and you nod in understanding, clicking your pen as you ready to scribble down her words. “After I got nabbed by one of those creepy puppets, there was just darkness with bits of light. Like a… like stars.” You write her exact words.

“You felt like you were floating, but were still restrained in real life.” You recall the same feeling the other people you've talked to relayed.

“Yeah, exactly that.” Her eyes swim with thoughts. “Then, I was back— just like that.” She snaps her fingers together.

“Like you woke up from a dream?”

She shuts her eyes close for a second before opening it again. “I heard the last echo of an explosion, when I looked up at the hex tower, it was already gone.” Taking another bite, she continues. “I guess that was Ekko’s work.”

There it is again, that recurring name. “I keep hearing about him.” Your pen subconsciously circles around his name.

“The boy savior, they call him.” She slumps down on her seat, evidence of her fatigue etched under her dark eyes. “And we still don't know how he fucking did it.”

You pinch your brows together in questioning. “You don't know either?”

“Fuck no, we might work together to help Zaunites, but he still hates my guts.” She blinks at you, lips pursing together. “Maybe you can get him to talk. I'm as curious as everyone else, we never know, the kid might have some secret weapon on him.”

“Who is he really? Violet says he's an old childhood friend. The others don't know much about him either, all I know is that he saved everyone at the last minute.”

“I think it's best that you ask him yourself, kid. Ain't that your job?”

You sigh, closing your notebook. “You're right, where is he usually?”

“Firelights hideout. It used to be a secret but they opened it to everyone who needed it after the war.” She crosses her leg over the other.

“Fireflies?”

“Firelights.” She corrects. “He's the leader, has been since the very beginning.” Her eyes go towards your closed notebook. “Hey, we're not done here yet, kid!”

You stand up, tilting your head at her teasingly. “I know, you told me to find Ekko so I'm going to go find him.”

“Well, not right now!”

You're already at the door. “I'll come back, don't worry! Y’know it's best to tell your story after some rest, it helps in better recollection.” You're not lying, she did seem tired. And you're in too deep to not go and find him now before the day officially ends.

She glares at you, mouth slightly agape. “I'm going to hit you.” She's starting to stand up when you sprint away.

“Thank you for the hospitality, councilor Sevika!”

—

Zaun is fully alive at night. The streets are filled with people laughing and hanging out with their loved ones. Which means there's plenty of people to ask where the firelights hideout is. Good thing that some of them were drunk enough to not ask you questions, the downside is that they're too drunk to give you coherent directions. So you're stuck in the middle of the undercity looking lost, but with the help of some people who haven't had a drink yet, you manage to find the entrance after an hour of walking around. All the while you try to ignore the looming presence following right behind you ever since you left Sevika's. Whoever it is, they don't seem to want to hurt you, so you pretend to not sense them until they decide to reveal themselves, or fight you. Whichever comes first.

Your feet ache and your stomach grumbles, but the sight of the huge gingko tree with its lively leaves swaying in the night wind makes it all worth it. A smile slowly spreads across your cheeks, the air is fresher down here, wind fluttering your lashes, sending goosebumps to spread across your arms.

The twinkling fairy lights make you chuckle to yourself, children run amok, giggling while their parents try to call them back home. The place is beautiful in its own way. You can see the large walls enclosed around the commune with circular vents dotted around it, a remnant of its past secrecy.

“You can come out now.” You say in a confident tone. Looking over your shoulder, you see his outline, the person who has been following your entire journey to the hideout. “I was lost and you didn't even bother helping me.”

“I heard you were looking for me.”

The mysterious man comes out of the shadow, the dark parting for him like theatre curtains.

Draped in a large puffy coat, steely brown eyes glaring at you through the white face paint. His whole demeanor screams ‘leader.’ White hair shining in the moonlight, twists tied in a bun while a few strands drape over his face. The blue metallic charms wrapped around his hair clinks together whenever he moves. The hoverboard hums in his hand, the faint green light illuminating his face as it flickers in and out. Adding to the intimidating air he's trying to convey.

You have to admit it, he looks strikingly handsome, albeit intimidating and tough. But you like tough, and intimidating is just another word for overawe, but you're not easily impressed. His daunting shell is an obstacle for you to crack open and take a peek inside. You're curious what his genius mind thinks, out of all the things they've all told you, nothing else has gotten you beyond excited than the man standing before you. His side is the final piece of the puzzle, the pièce de résistance you need.

You smile at him, a genuine one, not the same polite smile you give when you're interviewing someone. “It's nice to finally put a face to the name.” Hand reaching out to him in greeting, he just looks at your stretched hand, eyes darting all over your form suspiciously. You're suddenly conscious of your posture and how you wear your clothes.

“You're noxian.”

“What, too obvious?” You gesture around your crimson clad self. Outfit tailored to suit you and your profession.

His gaze narrows, eyes turning to slits as his mouth turns into a scowl. “Are you spying on us?”

“No,” you furrow your brows, hand retracting back to your side, the sound of your leather messenger bag thumps against your hand.

A tad disappointed. “didn't Sevika tell you about me? Or Vi?”

He flicks his aprehensive eyes from your head to your shoes, knuckles tightening around the hammer he carries. “Guess you weren't important enough.”

“I guess that's why you were following me, huh?” You say sarcastically. If I wasn't that important, why follow me? Is what you wanted to say, but you're playing it cool, lest you lose what precious time you have with him. You need to get his story.

He scoffs, hand still holding his weapon, resting it atop his shoulder. “You were asking too many questions. You could've been robbed or killed.” A breeze passes by between you, rustling the leaves above and slicing the tension.

“Well, you know what they say about curiosity and the cat.” His frown deepens, teeth grindingly frustrated. You sigh, swallowing down your sass. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.” You tell him your name as nicely as you can. You've come far from brawling with fellow noxians at the bar, if only your mentor could see you now. “I'm a noxian historian, Mel Medarda tasked me to record and write what happened here three years ago so that—” he's already walking away from you. “—hey!”

“Save me your sales pitch.” Ekko puts the board on his back and hooks the hammer on his belt in one fluid motion as he walks further into the commune.

“Sales—! I'm not trying to sell you anything.” You follow behind whilst people walk past you, all staring at the interaction you're having with their leader. The place is lively despite the moon gazing down upon them. The place smells faintly of freshly cut grass and mint. “I just want to talk to you.”

“We're talking now.” He says all without looking over his shoulder.

“Wait! Can you at least listen to what I have to say? Just give me a minute.” You try to follow even when he expertly dodges around people and buildings. He's trying to lose you in the hubbub of the hideout. “Ekko, please!” As you round a corner, you see him retreating up to the tree, hoverboard humming from under him as he dashes upwards. “Oh come on, man!”

He looks down at you with a faint smirk, brow raised as he watches you kick a lone can in frustration. Stepping down from his board, he enters his tree house, making sure that you hear the slam of his door.

“So you're not going to talk to me?!” You yell up, palms cupping the sides of your mouth. The firelights look at you with a mix of annoyance and confusion. “Ekko!”

“Go away!” His voice is carried by the wind, he doesn't even poke his head out of the window to talk to you clearly.

You stomp your foot on the dusty ground. “Fine! Thank you for talking to me!” You sarcastically say, almost sticking out your tongue out at him childishly. Sighing, you compose yourself, trying to smile and kindly wave at the passers by. “Hello, sorry.” Walking back to where you came from, you mutter a curse under your breath.

You can't exactly blame him for not talking, you are a stranger to him. If he doesn't want to speak to an old childhood friend and comrade then he definitely won't talk to you. Your tired feet carry you out, but the smell of something savoury takes you away. Looking towards the source, you see a small food stand nearby, its fire blazing and its fried food calling for you.

“Maybe just a bite.” You're already walking towards it with purpose, coin pouch already out of your pocket as you find your seat.

—

The moon rises high above you as you've finally eaten your fill and left the commune with less coins in your pocket, and your feet aching. At least you've talked and interviewed a few people along the way. The trip wasn't all wasted, but you can't help but feel like you're missing out on Ekko.

As you enter an alleyway leading out into Vander's statue, you hear footsteps echoing behind you.

“Did you change your mind—!?” A bullet whizzes by your head, dodging it at the last minute as it leaves a dark streak where it almost hit you right in between your eyes. “Hey!”

Three people come out of the shadow, they're all in different builds, one lanky and holding the pistol that's still smoking. While right next to him is all muscle, fists at the ready. The last person to show themselves is much younger, a smaller boy who couldn't be older than seventeen. His lips tremble slightly, but his eyes are determined as he raises a knife towards you.

“A tourist enters a dark alleyway only to be met by a gang of ruffians.” You click your tongue, “How cliché.” Taking off your messenger bag, and dropping it at your feet, you take your golden pen from your pocket. “My professor wouldn't give you a passing grade.”

“Shut it, girly!” The one with the gun shrieks, pulling the hammer down, ready to shoot again. “Give us the bag or I'll shoot you right between your eyes.”

You suck in your teeth, egging them on. “Nope, not a chance, I've got all my writing in there.”

“I'll count to ten then I'll send my men after you!”

You tilt your head, thumb brushing along the side of your pen. “What men? All I see is a brute who probably blocks with his face and the other looks like he's about to piss himself.” Hand raising in front of you, you point at them with the end of your pen. A familiar mechanical humming seems to get closer and closer towards the alley, you ignore the sound. “And one coward who can't even shoot for shit. I've seen better aim from talking goats—!”

“Shut up!” A shot rings out, the scene unfolds in slow motion. Muzzle flash and gunpowder flying about into the air as you twist and click your pen.

“Shit, look out!” Ekko's voice pierces the night air, but the sound of your pen clicking and whirring into place as it stretches silences the thudding in your heart.

His hand reaches for you, hovering above on his board as he desperately tries to get you away. Just as his fingers close around the collar of your coat, your gilded pen turns into a sharp rapier. The bullet collides with the tip of the sword, effectively slicing it down the middle and shattering it into pieces.

Metal shards bounces off, one scratching your cheek while sparks were flying about as Ekko couldn't stop his momentum. Eyes wide in shock, hand still holding onto you, he brings you down with him. The two of you slam against the side of the building in a harsh thump. Collapsing on each other, head hitting his own.

Your shoulder hits the brick wall, while Ekko slinks down right next to you, tumbling down on his hoverboard. “Ekko?!” You've come face to face with the boy savior himself. He heaves in place, hand still holding onto your back. “You idiot! I had it!”

“Me?! You're the one flaunting your money all over Zaun!”

You gasp, clutching your imaginary pearls. “Flaunting?! I—”

“Grab her!” Great, you've forgotten about the would-be thieves.

“Stay here!” Ekko tries to stand up but his board landed on his leg awkwardly, weighing him down. “Damn it.”

“No, you stay here!” Scrambling up, you poke at his chest, right in the middle of the bright pink ‘X’

“Get the sword! It looks like it's made of gold!” The shooter instructs, his idiot twosome striding quickly towards you.

“Oh you can take my fucking money but you can't take my fucking pen!” You ready your stance, one hand gripping the sword.

“Wait!” Ekko finally gets up, now able to push the heavy board out from above him. “Don't—!”

They rush towards you, instead of thrusting your sword into their intestines, you take the blunt approach by slapping them with the sides of the sword that isn't as sharp. The whipping sound rings in your ears, followed by their pained and shocked groans.

“Ow! What the—?!” The younger goon grasps at his reddening cheek, pain blooming where you slapped him with the rapier.

“Didn't your mother teach you manners?” With one side swipe, you keep landing harsh slaps all over the bigger goon. He yelps, touching where you just hit him. They can't even get close to you as you keep smacking them whenever they get near. Their hips, legs, cheek, and butt are no longer safe from your walloping.

Your grin is unmistakable, clearly having fun at…whatever it is you're doing.

Meanwhile, Ekko looks at you with a raised brow, mouth slightly agape at the ridiculousness happening in front of him. Completely gawking at the scene. They tried to kill you and take your things, so why are you playing with them like they're children? One even has a knife for fucks sake.

“Enough!” The shooter yells from the other side of the alleyway. His hand shakes whilst both of his henchmen sink down to their knees when you hit a particular spot in between their legs. “Stop playing around!”

Ekko steps right next to you, glaring at the man while his hand grabs his hammer from his belt. “What do you think you're doing, hm?” His jaw tightens, “I thought I finally got into that thick head of yours.” You can see why he's considered as the leader. He bears it well.

You pant in place, watching as the air around you turns parlous as Ekko stands his ground. You flick your eyes at the two men crawling by your feet, still incapacitated, skin turning into a red angry hue.

“Let us have this one, man!” He gestures wildly with his gun, despite the threat of it accidentally going off, you and Ekko don't even flinch. He notices, eyes glancing briefly at you. “She's noxian anyway!”

Your brows furrow in anger, hand tightening around the handle of your sword. The younger you would've lunged immediately, but you let Ekko handle his people, you can see that's what he's trying to silently convey to you based on how he's standing slightly in front of you. Ready to shield you if need be. Or ready to hold you back if you do decide to pounce.

“You've got a decent job all lined up, and a kid waiting for you back home.” His tone doesn't waver. “The three of you have people waiting back home and yet you decide to hit a noxian who knows how to fight!”

“I'll take that as a compliment.” You mutter under your breath, fixing your hold on your rapier.

He heard your mumbling, glaring at you for half a second before returning his attention back towards the trio. “Go home.”

“But—”

“Go before I sic this noxian on you.”

You fake a lunge at them, effectively making them run with their tails tucked in between their legs. As they scramble off, you smile at their retreating backs, leaving you and Ekko in the dust. Adrenaline still flows in your veins, bouncing on the balls of your feet from the rush of it all.

“You showed them— oof!” Your bag is suddenly shoved in your chest.

“Go. Home.” He points at you, finger poking at the leather of your bag.

“Hey! I'm not a zaunite so you can't tell me what to do.” You put your bag over your shoulder, hand still enclosed around the hilt of your sword, its golden sheen shining in the dim streetlights. “Come on, we make a pretty good team together, right?”

He kicks his hoverboard, and it whirrs into life, green light bouncing around the alleyway. “What were you doing?” Looking over his shoulder, he sees the cut on your cheek.

“What?” You scrunch your nose, still bouncing on your feet. Following his gaze, you touch at the ache blooming on your face, feeling the warm blood oozing out of it. “Oh, it's fine, just a cut.” He twists around to face you fully, arms crossed over his chest. You realize that you can use the time to question him. “What do you mean by your question exactly?”

He inhales, eyes flitting between your face and the sword. “You have a fancy sword and you don't even know how to use it.”

“Trust me, I know how to use it.” Lifting it up, you let the gold inlays glimmer in the light. Its swirling patterns catch his curious brown eyes. “I just— I promised myself a long time ago that I won't draw blood unless absolutely necessary.” Thumb tracing the button, you twist your hand and click it. The sword retracts back into a pen within a second. “Do you think I'll travel alone defenseless?” He narrows his eyes further, slowly calming down. “The question is, what are you doing here, Ekko? Were you worried about little ol' me?” Your eyes shine with mischief.

“You're never letting this whole interview thing go, huh?” He jumps backwards onto his hoverboard, arms still crossed on his chest. His brown eyes swim with something you can't decipher.

“As much as I want to respect your decision, I need your side of history. You're the missing piece, Ekko.” You shrug, smiling. “And unfortunately I can't leave without that missing piece.”

His lips purse into frustration, eyes darting along the wall sitting behind you. “Damn it.” Without another word, he flies off into the night, leaving streaks of green in his wake.

“Wait!” Your eyes follow him but you remain in place. “Why does he keep doing that?” Chuckling, you look at what he was staring at, finding the same blue haired girl painted on the walls. “If only you could talk, my job would be way easier.”

—

“Tell her to leave Zaun alone.” Ekko's commanding voice rises above the Kiramman office. His fists thump against the desk, sending papers and pens to topple over.

Caitlyn sighs in her chair while Vi settles to lean against the bookshelf behind Cait. Sevika pinches the bridge of her nose, standing near the windows as her previous words were ignored by Ekko.

“We can't just bar her from Zaun, Ekko.” Caitlyn answers back. “She has a job to do, a job that the council would want her to finish.”

“What for?” He huffs, “it already happened, people died, we almost lost but we didn't, end of story.”

“Because of your help, Ekko.” Vi finally speaks after what felt like hours of back and forth. “Which, none of us knows what you did to win it for all of us. She needs the whole story so that it works. So that people know what the arcane is capable of, so that it doesn't happen again.”

“I did it for Zaun.”

“I talked to her,” Sevika says from her spot. “If I could do that, kid, then you can.”

“You can't force me.” Ekko straightens up.

“We're not—” Caitlyn starts.

“Ekko,” Vi inhales sharply, hand playing with a metallic trinket shaped like a monkey, its surface singed, paint chipping away. “This could bring peace. We all know what's stirring in Noxus, if shit hits the fan again— I…I can't do that again.”

Ekko can't get his eyes off of Vi’s hands wrapped around the seemingly odd thing.

“We can ally with the other nations if need be.” Caitlyn grasps Vi’s hand briefly before rubbing her temples, “what happened here was a warning.” Her voice wavers. “If we can warn the people of Runeterra with it, we could save millions of lives.”

“Are you sure you can talk about this with her here?” Ekko gestures towards you sitting quietly in your chair.

You blink, pausing from blowing at your steaming cup of tea. “Is it rude to blow at your tea?”

“She signed a confidentiality agreement. You can always retract statements so she doesn't write it down. She just needs to write what happened, nothing else.”

“You'll be nice to Ekko, right, Spark?” Vi gently smiles at you.

“As long as the boy savior here is nice to me.”

Ekko groans, surrendering. “Let's get this over with.”

Support banner by @/cafekitsune

Please consider reblogging if you liked it! Please tell me what you think ❤️

[welcome-to-oslov]

Yay loving the reccs! I have a completely random and honestly not very good book to mention, but still: Arslan.

The entire book is meandering and reads as unfinished, let alone hard to keep track throughout. But, the character Hunt, like Tilrey, is hard to forget. It's the 70s in small town midwest, some random foreign warlord invades America & somehow takes over & sets up HQ in Hunt's town. To demonstrate his power, he goes to the school to pick from the local teens & takes two to rape on stage in front of the whole town: one girl & one boy. He discards the girl but likes Hunt so much, he immediately takes him captive. Hunt doesn't go off to Redda - they all stay in town - but he's completely torn from his entire world anyway, locked in a room at home with Arslan. One thing the book gets really right is how when he finally gets to go out, run into an old friend, see his father, he's met with rejection and shame. He hates Arslan and wants nothing more than to escape, but everyone looks at him at thinks he's to blame. It becomes a complicated relationship, one of his only ones, because what Arslan's done alienates him from everyone else.

Tbh I skipped I ton of the book because the main plot's overwrought & not worth it, but reading the first part for the Hunt story and then Hunt's own section lingers.

Whoa, how have I not heard of this before!? Just going by your description and the Goodreads page, this is the sort of bizarre book I’m fascinated with—and it’s from the 1970s! I’m going to look on Thrift Books for an old copy.

Your description reminds me a little of Samuel Delaney’s Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand, which IIRC also has a really strong portrayal of the long-term effects of abuse on someone’s psyche, but I don’t remember much else except that it was weird vintage SF.

[stepswowdsen]

【KagePro】 KuroEne Speedpaints 🖤💙

I recorded me doing the rough colour drafts on my KuroEne doodle! 🥰

These aren't refined, and just me roughly filling in the base colours on my sketches to get an idea of colours

Since Idk when I'll get to refine these drawings and clean up the sketch and lines

Tumblr's finnicky with posting videos ngl so I posted YT links this time. I put them as Unlisted. Feel free to check them out if you're interested in my drawing process.

I described my art process in the video description, but I can also put them here too

Kuroha Speedpaint 🖤💛🐍

Recorded me doing the rough base colours for this one 😌 I had a lot of fun choosing the colours for this one! 💗🫶

Original Time: 45 minutes (Sped up by 16x)

BGM: Outer Science Rearrange Cover (ft. Kagamine Len) 🎵

Kuroha and Ene Speedpaint 🖤💙🐍🐇

I did a bit of edits on Kuroha's colours, then filled in the base colours for Ene~

Working with cool colours is super fun 🙌

Original Time: 45 minutes (Sped up by 16x)

BGM: Outer Science (ft. IA & ONE) 🎵

KuroEne Doodles

Different versions I played around with!

OG

(+) Hue shift on Ene

(+) Red hue shift on Kuroha

(+) Hue shift on Ene

(+) Red/pink hue shift and increased saturation on Kuroha's skin

(+) Increased brightness and saturation on OG

(+) Hue shift on Ene

(+) Increased Brightness and red hue shift on Kuroha

(+) More red hue shift on Kuroha

(+) More red hue shift on Kuroha

(+) Multiply Layer on both

(+) Hue shift on Ene

(+) More red hue shift on Kuroha

(+) Hue shift on Ene

The more red + purple toned Kuroha has really nice visual contrast against Ene's cool colours (blues) in her design tbh

Continued from yesterday!

I put the video description rambles under the cut (describing my art process)

Kuroha Speedpaint

Decided to fill in the rough base colours for this! I love doing rough colour drafts~ Helps me get a good idea of colours.

I put Outer Science as the BGM. Fitting for the Outer Science Person~

I also love the tuning and adlibs and robotic voice effects on the Len fan-cover of Outer Science so much~ The tuning is superior to the Original so it's my favourite version of Outer Science and my favourite fan-cover.

Watching this fan-cover is what got me into KagePro. It was my first time watching the Outer Science MV.

The tuning and mixing in this fan-made rearrange cover is insanely good. It's stronger than the original. The chorus has so much oomph and power to it in this, and I love the added adlibs and robotic effects on certain lines.

I prefer the instrumentals (guitar riffs, drums, and bass) of the OG though. The fan-cover version's instrumentals sounds more like an arcade, which is also fun.

0:00

I start with colour picking from the colour edit I did as a guide for colours

The faster way to fill in the base colours would be to create a new layer and temporarily close all the lines, then select the outside of the lines, invert the selection, and then use the bucket tool. I'd do this for more refined drawings that are in the lineart stage

I manually fill in the colours when doing rough base colours though. Manually filling in the base colours is relaxing ngl

Since they're rough colour drafts, I'm not shading/blocking in shadows, I just wanna get an idea of how the colours look together

1:05 - 1:10

When I do Gradient Maps and Layer Mode effects, I either clip them to the Colours, or put them in a folder and set them to Through so they can show on the layers underneath it.

I realized I couldn't eye drop the exact colours on the colour edit ref with the Folder set to Through Layer Mode (60% opacity), so I duplicated it, then merged the layers

I also adjusted the settings of my Eyedrop tool later so that it can grab the colour from the image itself, rather than just the colour on the Layer it's on. Cuz if you're not on the exact Layer, then it won't grab any colour.

1:12

I was considering whether I wanted to airbrush the tips of the fingers with a dark gradient cuz I love the darkened gradient limbs design trope. Douman has it canonically, and my friend Raisu added it on Idate's design (which is why I always draw him with it).

Decided to go without it here tho cuz I feel like it takes away from the colours

1:42

Doing colour edits and adjustments with Posterization and Hue/Saturation effects can throw the contrast out of wack, so I adjust the colours myself on my own drawings.

I usually shift the hues of shadows and highlights (in comparison to the base colours) to keep the colours interesting. I try to use different hues for them so the colours can pop more. I was trying to come up with a good colour for the darker black inner clothes

2:17 - 2:25

After roughly colouring the black spirals around him, I use Posterization on CSP.

Window Capture on OBS only records the main window for CSP, but I went to Layer > New Correction Layer > Posterization which creates a Posterization layer. I adjust the colours with this, which increases the contrast and darkens the colours slightly.

I'll probably fix the colours of the dark sleeves manually later.

2:26

I draw my lines on vector layers so I can easily adjust and edit (move and scale down/up) my lines without losing quality.

I duplicate the lineart, so I can use a CSP Auto Action that colours the lines. I used to manually colour my lines, but this one's quick and you can get really pretty line colours with it, cuz it colours the lineart according to the colours underneath.

It doesn't show the windows that performs the Auto Action through the recording, but I downloaded an Auto Action available on the CSP Assets Store that's called "Better Line Color" that follows a series of steps (it can be mimicked manually on other programs) and adjusts the colour of the lines according to the colours underneath it.

I think when I refine the drawing more, I wouldn't have the dark spirals apart of the lineart, and would just paint it instead.

I was playing around with whether I wanted the coloured lineart to be on "Multiply" or "Colour Burn" Layer mode. Depending on the drawing, either has really nice effects.

On my other drawings, like the coloured IdaTatsu and Selena doodles I had, I preferred the coloured lines on Colour Burn Layer mode cuz it adds a subtle saturated glow to the lines. Here, it adds a slightly blue edge to the lineart.

I went with Multiply for now (just cuz this keeps the colours of the black spirals intact better, but I'll consider which one looks better after)

Ene Speedpaint

0:00 - 0:32

I clean up the colours on Kuroha a bit. I also add back the gray transition colour on the hair (between the highlights and base colour)

I brighten the eyes a bit and make it slightly more saturated

0:32

I start filling in the base colours for Ene, picking from a more vibrant colour palette (edit of Sidu's art)

0:45

I realized that her digital structures are shorter on the side closer to her mouth, so I adjusted the lines a bit

0:48

I start filling in the rest of the base colours. At the time, I wasn't whether I want to have Ene's eyes as ice blue or saturate them more…

1:44 I wanted to saturate the skin more so it'd have more contrast, but decided to keep that for later.

1:58 Added a muted gray transition colour on the hair

2:00 Started splotching colours on the sweater and skirt to get an idea of colours.

2:25 Upped the Brightness and Contrast on the skin. Played around with Posterization on the Colours.

Since Kuroha's lines were black, I decided to do the Better Line Color on Kuroha's lines again. This time I used the Bucket tool to colour the lines with a dark blue colour, clipped them, duplicated the lines and then did the Better Line Color Auto Action again.

I also did the same for Ene's lines. I set it on Multiply cuz I liked the soft look the coloured lines

2:42 - 2:51 Before I added the colours, I just had Kuroha's lines above Ene's lines folder, and then had a white layer in the middle.

I was still wondering how I'd show Ene's hand on his sleeve, but Kuroha's colours still being over hers… I was considering just putting the folder of his colours on top of hers, but HMM…

For now though, I just duplicated the lines and colours for a PNG version, then cut from that, for showing on my socials

End: Once I turned back on Kuroha's colours, I realized that I chose a really muted palette for him and a really vibrant one for Ene, so after I finished recording, I played around with the Gradient Maps and saturated the colours and eyes more.

I'll definitely coordinate their colour palettes more later. I'll do a muted version and saturated version.

[stackthedeck]

Hiiiiiiiiii i kinda had a question #lol. The fact that you write is awesome and makes me wanna write too, but every time i try i feel like i have such a large amount of self doubt that comes with it. Every single scene i finish is accompanied by an "oh god this sucks" in my head. Im also having a lot of trouble getting character voices down?? Like wow. Writing's harder than i thought it would be🫡 anyways just wanted to see if you had like tips or anything for dealing with that😨😨😨

Okay so my most practical advice is for how to get character voice. What I'll do as a writing exercise is I'll pick an episode of a show or like a scene from a movie or maybe a podcast episode, pick a medium that has a focus on dialogue. Transcribe the dialogue as you watch or listen (pause or turn on subtitles as needed) and pause the thing between chunks of dialogue and add the action tags, describe what the characters are feeling, give them internal monologue, describe the setting. I know this sounds tedious and like it is and it might not work for you and you definitely can't post it. But it makes me super aware of characters' speech patterns, the way they pause between words, what nicknames or phrases they use often, etc. It's also something that I just pick up on naturally, like I'll talk like my friends not as like an impression of their voice but how they talk and people say it's spooky.

The short cut to nailing how a character talks is to steal dialogue directly from the source, have them use nicknames from canon, and like be aware of their general tone. Like in most situations, Deadpool leans into a more jokey way of speak while Spider-Man is sarcastic with dry jokes and Daredevil is serious and gruff. These will change with each situation you know characters have moods and stuff. But if you're familiar with the source material you're probably really close to a character's voice that you think

with original stories, if I want to create a strong voice for characters and narration, I'll do a writing warm up by going outside or like a library and describe what I experience. I'm not allowed to start writing my actual thing until I include all five senses in those descriptions. I also tend to narrate how I think which doesn't work for everyone but I love metaphors and alliteration so it works. With original characters, they're usually based on someone I know so I'll just memorize their exact words or watch videos that they send me. It's kinda creepy tbh. But rule of thumb is to always read your stuff out loud, heck I usually say the dialogue before I write it, and it gives it a more human sound.

Okay practical advice done now I gotta tell you the thing you won't like. The best way to get over the "this sucks" mentality is to just write a lot. Anytime I'm not so sure about my own writing, I got back to the Hamilton fanfic I wrote in middle school that I proudly put on the internet and sent to my friends and I think "okay it could be so much worse" self-doubt will always be a part of the process you will always be your worst critic. But also you've also gotta be your biggest fan, it helps to find someone else to hype you up, but I dare you to read what you've written a say at least one nice thing about it. Any time you're in the editing stage, say one nice thing about what you've written before you say something that's not working. When you finish editing, say one thing that you're happy you added. You gotta write a lot but you've gotta be good to yourself

[rpreview]

now presenting a review for PITTSQZHQ !

@pittsqzhq​, a 21+ dystopian survival rp based on tumblr

first impression

ok based on the name alone i had no idea what to expect, so i’m excitedly heading over to your page! aaaaaa the aesthetic is very apocalyptic which gets me so giddy tbh, i am obsessed with apocalpytic plots, and the presentation is lovely, so you’ve got me so far! 

you may be fooled by the cutesy theme i’ve got going here, but horror is literally my favorite genre lmao

the plot

i already love the last of us so much (despite not even finishing the game yet because apparently i can only Do Things when the hyperfixation is fixated), so i can’t help but be a little biased here in just loving the concept alone. but you did amazing with setting up the plot! i think you’ve given solid information for anyone who has never seen the show or played the video game, so that it’s not entirely necessary to have that media consumption to play in your plot!

not only that, but you’ve provided details on so many things i’d normally have questions about, lol. i’m such an overthinker, i feel like i need to know everything i possibly can before joining a group. your plot even covers how the infection stages work, etc. so good on you, seriously. i really appreciate this as an overthinking bitch who needs to know every minute detail in order to feel safe to apply lol.

overall, the plot feels hefty and complete. it wasn’t a boring read, which sometimes long plots can be. i like that you’ve broken it up into multiple sections in which the sections aren’t too long either.

the details

i love the detail on your rules tbh. it feels very much rp once upon a time lol. rules are usually so simple now, which is ok! i just love this. 

i think you could use a location page (nothing fancy, even just a bulleted list with a little description could do!) to bolster the places mentioned in your plot! 

i can’t continue because i think your jobs link is broken :(

i’d also look into a navigation page, especially for those who are mobile, if you don’t have one! (i don’t think i’m seeing one) on that page, i’d normally expect to see like a checklist, a masterlist to follow, things like that, but i’m not seeing anything? and on the “more” button on the theme, it just refreshes the page.

organization

i love the organization, it’s very simple to look around, which makes me feel totally chill. if i was an applicant, i definitely wouldn’t be too scared to apply. 

atmosphere

well you have kat graham and sarah michelle gellar as your mascots, and those are literally two of my all-time favorite faceclaims somehow, so im happy lmao. from what i can gauge on the main, you’re very friendly, and you want to run a tight ship with this roleplay, and i totally admire that.

accessibility

i immediately struggled to find the navigation. i opened the page for my first impression, and i was really excited to find the plot, but i legit could not find the buttons for a good minute, aaaaa. it’s also really hard to read the text on the buttons. ok now that it’s bigger in this screenshot it’s easier but slkdfjsd it was very hard to see on the page. if the theme doesn’t allow you to change the text without changing another important aspect, check the html!

i know how crucial activity is to a roleplay, especially these days with everyone flitting about without sticking around anymore. however, as a disabled person, the activity feels just a tiny bit too tight-leashed for someone like me to maintain. i know i’m not the average person, but it’s worth keeping that in mind!

i can’t find the forward/backward buttons on the pages, either.

diversity

i do see diversity in the cast, which makes me happy! i do see a handful of problematic faceclaims though that might scare a few people away if they are feeling uncomfortable about things like that.

UPDATE: the admins have reached out about this, and have assured they’re working on it!

tumblr: theme/graphics

i personally LOVE the scheme and the graphics, but due to how difficult it is to read the theme, find buttons, etc, i would consider changing it up a little. if editing it doesn’t work, maybe a similar theme? i know that always hurts to even think about, but you definitely want potential members to navigate with ease!

overall

i love it!! i’d consider looking into the faceclaims that are being applied for, but i love love love an apocalyptic roleplay, and you’ve got a great plot here. i would just tinker with some of the minor details, and i think you have an incredibly solid group here i could see lasting for a good long while!

[strwbrryblues]

A Budding Romance

Pairing: Lee Minho | Lee Know x Fem!Reader (AFAB)

Genre: Fluff, Slight angst, Fantasy AU, Medieval AU, Childhood friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining

Additional Tags: Florist!Minho, SoonDoongDori can talk (kinda), SKZ 00z and Jeongin aged down, Minju Jungwoo Minho pretty besties, It’s honestly more like idiots to lovers tbh, Cameos from other group's members

Warnings: Talk of insecurities, SeungJin puppy love (yes gonna put that as warning in case some of you are not comfortable), This was not proofread properly, so if there are any kinds of typos, please ignore it (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)

Word Count: 12.8k

Synopsis: In which it’s not only flowers that bloom in spring, but feelings as well. However, you’ve only just realized that they’ve always been there

A/N: This kind of got out of hand hhhhhh I was planning to keep it short and simple but I wanted to add a lot of elements and description, so I got carried away 😭  Also, I still am visibly confused if Soonie Doongie and Dori are all male or female because I believe that Koreans don’t usually use fem or male pronouns sooo.... yeah you’ll see me almost have a crisis with that 💀

By the way, go check out the other fics from @bruh-changbin ‘s spring fling collab once they’re posted! 🥺💗

© May 2022, strwbrryblues. All rights reserved.

[Spring Fling Masterlist]

Spring has arrived. The remnant cold that the winter season had left lingered on the streets for weeks, and it was just the right amount of coolness to battle the sun’s heat.

Minho, upon the early kiss of the sun’s rays, had already set up his little flower shop at the corner of Levanter Street. The place was perfect to catch the eyes of any passerby, as the place was decorated with the newly blooms of spring. And it was around this time that customers alike would pick out from his bunch.

Mothers who usually finished up their spring cleaning would buy a couple or three bouquets they would set on their vintage vases. Men and women pick single stems of flowers as a gift for their newly love, or bouquets to celebrate one’s anniversary. Even witches pass by, their brooms speeding to a stop to look for Minho’s rare plants they can use for their crafts.

To say spring was the busiest season for his little flower shop would truly be an understatement. And so, he had to look for someone to be his apprentice.

After consulting with his friend, Jungwoo—the coffee shop owner just beside his shop—they both decided to put up posters, calling out for new hires. The poster being nicely made by you—Minho’s long time childhood friend.

You three gathered around the side of Minho’s flower shop. His cats trailed along, all three sitting down to watch in curiosity the huddle that formed.

“You know, I clearly don’t see the point of you looking for hire when I’m literally right here.” You frowned, hands both resting on your hips as you still formulated the reason for Minho looking for help, when you can do it yourself; considering your job is a night shift at most, you don’t really have anything else to do during daytime.

Jungwoo, who stood at the opposite side of Minho, crossed his arms as well. “Yeah, you can have Y/n at your beck and call, no need for the awkwardness stage if you ever find a recruit.”

You gave an unimpressed look at the taller boy, “really? I’m at his ‘beck and call’?” His choice of words made you look at him pointedly, while he just shrugged and gave you his signature princely smile.

Minho, who was in the middle of you two, was building up a headache from the constant noise. He averted his gaze from the poster he’d just put up, now pinching the bridge of his nose as he clenched his eyes shut.

And while you and Jungwoo bickered, a fourth person entered the scene, specifically another friend in your little group.

“Minho’s looking for help?” Minju asked, dressed in her maid outfit, minus the apron, as she was about to head to the daycare for work. “I thought Y/n was actually getting paid for always helping? I actually think he doesn’t need any more helping hand.”

At this, both you and the taller boy you’ve been bickering with, turned to the new addition to the huddle, agreeing in chorus.

“See! I told you, Lee Minho!” You laughed almost maniacally while pointing at him. The victorious grin not leaving your face as you went back inside the flower shop, Soonie, Doongie, and Dori following you inside as you called them for their breakfast. “I’m always right!” You hollered, the noise being muffled by the glass windows.

The three who were left outside looked puzzled at the bellow of laughter you let out. But then brushed it off, as it was very normal for them at this point.

“Well, you men figure out what you want.” Minju said, gathering her skirt and clutching tightly on the stack of book that was strapped together by leather, resting on her back. “I’m off to work. Mrs. Yang sent an owl earlier, saying that Jeongin manifested his powers and that we need to keep an eye on him in case he blows anything up.”

Jungwoo looked baffled, as he uttered in disbelief, “blow things up? What?”

Minju shrugs, “beats me. Seungmin blew up Jisung’s toy top last time.” The girl had her fair share of the disastrous kids at the daycare. Just last month, the little alchemist - Seungmin, had blown up Jisung’s top, and the management still had to figure out how it happened. In short, Minju wasn’t even surprised anymore.

The two boys watched their friend leave for work after bidding her goodbye. The taller boy then turned to Minho, “you know, I get that you need the extra help an all, but Y/n really is suited for you.” Jungwoo said. “Not just work wise.” He added, winking at the boy meaningfully as he watched the tip of his friend’s ear, burn bright red at his comment.

Minho groaned, as if he wasn’t thrown off guard just earlier. Of course, he can’t hide his emotions well, especially when his ears always give it away. “You know, it’s better if you just shut up and go back inside your shop and start making coffee. I’ll have my usual order.”

Jungwoo just chuckled, knowing full well that the order he was talking about was specifically for you. His friend has always been like that, ordering coffee—or breakfast at that—for the two of you, and insists he just does it out of convenience, and not because he’d taken a romantic liking to you.

Flashing a grin at the slightly shorter boy, Jungwoo went back to his café to set things up. As for Minho, he went back inside to his shop, to see you sitting on the floor with the cats. Seeing you get along with his cats always tugged at his heartstrings and made his stomach flip in happiness.

“Get your ass off the floor. You’re getting my floor dirty.” He contrasted the feelings he felt inside to what he just said. In truth, he wanted you to stay there longer, and maybe he’ll sit with you and play with the cats as well.

You stood up however, much to his dismay. “You’re such a meanie. If you keep being like that, no one’s going to work for you.” You placed your hands on your hips, and frowned at him.

Oh, how Minho wanted to kiss that frown away from you, but he had to keep it all in.

“What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you still be asleep?” He changed the topic, going around the counter to take his spell book, preparing to cast his daily spell on the shop; a spell that sets the mood of the shop, so customers enjoy their short time inside the shop, and feel at peace.

“I would still be asleep, if only Jungwoo had not barged in my house at the wee hours of the morning; asking me to finish and duplicate that poster.” You grumbled.  

At the news, Minho stopped his spell midway, frowning at the news. He concluded that he’d have to reprimand his friend for cutting short your precious sleep. “Then go back home and sleep, doofus.”

You shook your head, “no thanks. I’d rather be here, it’s relaxing.” You sat down again, the cats crowding you once more for attention and affection. “You go and try making and serving drinks all night to drunkards, and see if you don’t find this place calming.”

The thing was, you worked the late shift for a local pub, run by someone you were close to. Even if you hated the scene and alcohol in general, you enjoyed the music that was played by a very locally known bard. Staying until late at dawn, but you still bother to get up early to help out with Minho in his flower shop.

“If you insist,” Minho shrugs, having done with his daily spell. Oh, but his inner self wanted to just drag you to his room upstairs—where he’d made the second floor of the shop his homely space to save money—and tuck you in his bed to sleep, so he knew you were well rested. “Pick up my order from Jungwoo.” Minho left the topic as quickly as possible, to avoid him from blurting out a confession.

You quickly stood up, saluting him, before dusting away on your skirt and running out of the shop.

Minho watched your figure leave the shop completely, and to the shop next door. Once he was sure no one was around, he knocked his head on the counter top, letting out a strangled groan. His ears flushed so hard; he was sure it was hot to the touch.

“Oh, my heavens,” he sighed, cheeks resting on the cold surface of the wooden counter. “I can’t believe I’ve fallen for my best friend.” Minho whined to himself.

He didn’t know when he fell for you, other than the fact that he suddenly finds everything you do to be endearing and heart fluttering.

Soonie, his eldest cat, meowed at him. An amulet he was wearing, that was cast with a spell. allowed him to understand the language of cats, and was able to decipher the meow to be a, “just suck it up and confess to her then.”

Minho glared at his eldest. “I can’t just do that. I’d be ruining what we have now.”

Doongie, his second eldest cat, leaped on the counter and started meowing loudly. “You dumbass! How are you so sure that she doesn’t even feel the same way?”

The eldest cat meowed as well, backing up Doongie’s complaint, “yeah. She’s literally the only person who’s willing to spend all her free time on you despite you always saying you don’t like her company.”

His youngest, Dori, amidst the noise of the two eldest, only rubbed its face gently on Minho’s legs, purring loudly as he let out a silent mew, “I like her. I want her to be our mommy, because she takes care of us really well.”

Minho almost died at how cute Dori was. He was about to reply when you barged in, two hot mugs in hand, while a tray of both your breakfast was balancing on your head.

Minho was quick to stand from his seat, taking the tray off your head as he clicked his tongue. “Stop doing things like this or else you’d end up breaking things.” Or you could get hurt. And he would absolutely be disheartened about that.

You apologized sheepishly, pulling a stall towards the counter and hopping on to it. You placed down the mug, waiting for Minho to place down the tray as well.

Once Minho approached the inner side of the counter, he pulled his stall as well, placing the tray and then sitting down. He took your plate of food and placed it in front of you as he placed his in front of him.

You hummed in satisfaction as the scent of eggs and freshly baked bread filled your nose. Quickly, you dig in, another hum resonating from you as you seemed pleased with the way the food was thoroughly prepared. Sipping on the mug carefully, the hot cocoa drink flowed down your throat, sending you comfort and warmth against the nipping coolness of the spring breeze.

“Isn’t today just lovely?” You let out a sigh of content, before continuing to eat.

Minho could almost see flowers blooming around you like spring time. It fluttered his heart, making him want to just pinch your cheeks and coo at you. But the crumbs of bread that littered at the corners of your mouth was enough to distract and bother him. His hand up and moving unconsciously to wipe them off.

“You’re such a messy eater.” He said, now his other hand grabbing the sides of your jaws to halt your movement. The gesture catching you off guard; the beats of your heart suddenly skyrocketing.

After brushing away the crumbs, Minho went back to eating his breakfast as if not an intimate moment had just occurred. His ears begged to differ, however. But you wouldn’t notice that, considering you’re stuck in a conundrum of your own.

Doongie meowed, and Minho thanked the heavens you don’t understand the cats, because the mischievous second eldest just said something really suggestive, that both flushed Minho’s ears to be redder than it was, all the while having the urge to just throw something at the cat for embarrassing him further.

The awkward tension that rouse was interrupted when the clinking of the shop’s bell reverberated around the room. Minho was only then woken with the realization that he had already flipped the “open” sign minutes ago. The bell signaled the arrival of a customer, who had disappeared in between the tall shelves where Minho usually grouped all gardening tools.

“Welcome to Soonie, Doongie, and Dori’s Flora! We hope you’re having a blooming day!” You cheered out the shop’s name, along with the catchphrase you came up with—specifically you, Jungwoo, and Minju, as Minho wasn’t really on the more creative side in terms of literature.

As much as Minho hated that greeting, whenever it was you, it just seemed right. You, and the word “bloom” just fit together in the same sentence. So, always having you say the assigned greetings to the customer was much to his pleasure.

While he was spacing out again in thought of how very beautiful you looked just now, the customer emerged from the aisles, a small rake and a couple of clay pots in hand. You halted eating your breakfast as you quickly tended to the customer.

“I didn’t think you’d need more help Minho?” The old lady spoke—one of Minho’s usual customers in the shop, who you were also familiar with. “Y/n here seems to be a lot of help already.”

This snapped Minho out of his thoughts, only to witness you giggling. It was cute, but he knows there was some hidden mischief behind your laugh.

“That’s what I told him granny! He’s very stubborn, it’s very annoying.” You huffed, though not meaning it. Minho only rolled his eyes at you, finishing his breakfast quickly and gulping down the remains of his now lukewarm coffee—which he found the temperature to be revolting.

“I guess it’s also not bad to get more help, especially during the spring season,” the older woman closed her eyes, chuckling. “You deserve a rest too, little lady.”

Now you huffed out, feeling helpless at the fact that the older woman made a somehow valid point. That made Minho snicker at you, he can’t help but feel the need to stick his tongue out at you just to add fuel to the fire.

After Minho had set aside his used dishes, he took over your work after you’ve totaled the balance in which the woman had to pay. Minho gathered the trinkets the woman picked out, tying them in a green ribbon before casting a light spell—one that lightens the weight of any heavy material for a period of time—and handing it to the older woman.  

The spell wasn’t really necessary as the woman can manage a few trinkets, but Minho felt the need to, after noticing that the woman kept on twisting her wrist in discomfort. In addition, with spring heavy on its way, people right now are keener to observe the changing trends and prices of materials and foods alike; sending almost everyone into a shopping spree in the local market place. In this case, the sweet old lady who now just left, would be more likely to roam the market, carrying more and more things as she buys. And Minho wanted to lessen the burden of the old lady by adding a simple light spell on the things she bought from his shop.

He does the same to every other customer that went through the day, especially those who purchased bulks and bulks from him. You mostly wrote down the receipts and recorded every transaction, as well as doing the sweeping and some watering of the plants on display. Minho arranged and wrapped up bouquets upon customers’ request; having more knowledge in the field.

Whenever he does so, you can’t help but stare at him in silent fascination at how knowledgeable the boy is about flowers, their language, and the perfect complement for each. You watch him work on a customer’s request after having done recording the transaction.

His nimble fingers worked gently in arranging each stalk, being careful in hopes of not breaking a stem. And with the gentle afternoon light cascading his features, you were entranced. To the point where you start feeling your chest tightening; deeming his beauty to be out of this world.

“I... uh... I’ll just go get some water.” You stood up from your seat beside him on the counter, very abruptly that it startled both the middle-aged woman—who Minho was tending to their request—and Minho himself. He looked at you still with shock but it returned to his neutral expression, giving you a nod.

“You should take a break too,” Minho said, before turning back to the bouquet he was working on. You just nodded quickly, trying to flee from the scene.

Going to the store’s backroom, you leaned on the door upon closing. Your mind going on an endless frenzy of scenarios that was caused by the scene you just witnessed earlier. Suddenly, Minho didn’t look friendly to you. And it wasn’t in a bad way. The vision that was suddenly haunting you was Minho moving gently and softly from before, despite the crease on his brows, with the setting looking as domestic as ever.

The boy you’d grown to see since young was mature and different from who you’ve grown to know. The scene played out with a gentle, stern looking Minho who was tending to a child. And the child looked oddly like the man himself, but also looked like you. The next thing you know, however, was Minho turning to you and muttering something. You swore you heard him saying, “honey” to you, in a very gentle tone with a sweet smile.

Suddenly, the small room that nestled silently in the back of the shop had gotten smaller than what you have come to know. The air was suffocating, tightening your chest that rendered you to inhale deep breaths.

“Fuck.” A curse unfamiliar to your mouth, has rolled its way off your tongue as your fist clenched on the fabric of your top. “It hurts.” You whined quietly.

The unfamiliar constricts on your chest made you worry.

Why are you suddenly feeling this? It confused you to no end.

Sliding down the door and crouching, you didn’t let your fists uncoil on the fabric as you kept it to feel solace in the familiarity of the texture. Thinking back to times from before, you always did feel a tug in the pits of your stomach whenever you were around Minho. But it was only now that you noticed its heightened activity, to the point where you feel it constrain your chest.

You tried to steady your breathing. And amidst your heaves, a sudden noise startled you. More specifically, one of a cat’s meow. You turn to the general direction of where you heard the noise, only to see Soonie on top of the stacked crates containing some clay pots.

“Oh! So that’s where you’ve been!” You wondered where the older cat wandered off to midday, as only two were present inside the shop.

“Meow,” Soonie replies, which meant to actually ask you the question of, “what happened?” You wouldn’t have known what he was saying so you assumed it to be a different one—translating it to be, “I like it here.”

“Okay, you be careful when you get down from there. It’s quite high.” You approached the orange cat, booping on its nose.

“You know, I asked you a question. It’s concerning that you’re clutching on your chest like that.” Another meow on your side. Thinking that the cat meant it as “why did you touch my nose?”  

“Was it uncomfortable for you? I’m sorry, let me compensate with some treats.” You turned back to the cat, placing your hand on the knob of the door then turning it.

“You know, this conversation is going nowhere. We’re on totally different pages.” Soonie meowed again, but this time, swiftly going down from the crates to follow your steps, in pursue of the treats you promised. “But I could use some of those treats you just said.” Another meow.

“Mhm! I’m sure you’ll enjoy the treats!” You cheered, almost on the same page as Soonie with the talk of cat treats.

The cat made no further reply, only rubbing its body on your leg in anticipation. Even until you got out of the back room, the cat trailed behind you silently in wait.

As you reached the store front, you were greeted however with the sight of a slightly familiar woman. Probably around your age, if not a bit older. It wouldn’t bother you on any day as it could have just been a customer, but you picked the conversation happening with her and Minho.

“I don’t have a written resume right now; I can come back tomorrow if you want.”

“Oh, that wouldn’t matter actually, but if you feel the need to have a resume, then we can arrange to have your interview tomorrow.”

“That’s perfect! When should I come by for the interview?”

“After lunch is perfect.”

“Okay, I’ll be here after lunch tomorrow. Thank you so much for letting me know about it.” The girl bowed in thanks, giving Minho a big, bright smile.

Minho in turn, bowed in return and only watched the figure leave. Noticing your presence as you approached the center of the room, where the cats have gathered around you; stepping their tiny paws on your legs as you crouched to give them treats.

“Are you feeling any better?” Minho asks. However, he got no response from you. Only the sight of your back turned before him sufficed the answer he wished.

“Y/n?” He called for your attention.

This time you replied, but the tone in your voice hinted irritation than what Minho always expected from you—light and happy. “I’m fine.” You dismissed.

Clearly you weren’t. Minho wanted to speak up but Doongie meowed, “someone’s in trouble.” It ticked Minho off, wanting to scold the second eldest of the cats. Soonie did so anyways in his stead, hissing at the younger.

You translated the situation as the cats fighting for the treats you’re giving, making the frown in your face deeper. “Hey, don’t fight.” The statement did not stop the two, only furthering the argument between the two cats, Dori trying to calm the two down, filling the quiet shop in meows and hisses.

The noise made you upset than ever. Doing so, you stood up from your crouched seat, going to the counter to pick up any of your belongings that you left, and putting them all in your satchel. “I’m leaving early. I have to prepare for work.”

Minho can’t help but watch your form walk away. He couldn’t even ask you what the problem was. And it wasn’t even time for your shift at the local pub. It was still around 4 in the afternoon, and you usually left at 5, leaving an hour to prepare for your shift. Clearly, something was happening that you weren’t telling Minho.

The man can only sigh. He’d have to talk to you tomorrow morning instead. Thinking of ways to talk to you, he then turned to the three cats who were still arguing. “You lot can’t keep your mouths shut for a damn second.” Oh, Minho was pissed. And it immediately sent chills down the cats’ furry bodies. The glare was enough to kill, but it was a good thing his eyes held no power to do so.

“It was Doongie. He started it.” Soonie couldn’t help but point fingers at the second youngest, clearly afraid of facing the wrath of their father.

“What? I literally didn’t do anything, you suddenly hissed at me,” Doongie snarled back, to which the older started hissing again. “See! You’re doing it again!”

“Please stop fighting,” Dori timidly mewled, scared of putting more fuel in the fire. The youngest already feeling the seething aura coming from Minho.

“Okay! That’s it! You’re all on time out. No treats for a week, I’m sealing all of it, and no one is going to touch it.” Minho angrily took out all the stored treats in one of the cabinets under the counter, along with the small spell book he keeps handy inside his pocket—containing emergency spells and the like.

The three cats stood up on their little feet, already circling Minho to stop him from taking the treats up to his room and sealing it in one of his drawers.

“Dad! No, we’re sorry! We won’t do it again!” The three meowed in unison, following Minho’s steps, until they reached the top, where a loft has been made from the large space for the cats to settle in. Two doors, one for the bathroom, and one for Minho’s room. And before the three feline could make their entry inside Minho’s room, the door had already been gently shut in their faces.

The three stared silently at the bronze door knob, staring hardly as if it would open with their command.

“This is all your fault Doongie.” Soonie scoffed, making the second youngest rapidly turn it’s head.

“What do you mean mine?! If you hadn’t hissed at me for no reason, then I wouldn’t have fought back, idiot!” The cat’s loud meows echoed around the second floor of the shop.

“I was trying to make you read the room! Your statement was uncalled for!” Soonie meowed back.

At this point, Dori wanted to quiet down the two oldest cat, but he was genuinely growing tired of their argument, that he walked away from them, and jumping to the wooden cat tower of their loft.

Minho on the other hand, successfully sealed the treats, but leaving one aside to give for them. The treat wrapped in a white cloth, containing two of your home made cat cookies. Deeming that the three at least deserved the treat, but they will have to learn to share it for a week.

After doing so, he sat shortly on his bed, thinking of what happened earlier. Of what could have bothered you, that you’ll leave earlier than your usual time, without talking it out with him. And seeing and hearing you sound upset, made his heart break a little. He was confused on what could have possibly gone wrong, but he decided to do his best in making it up for you. Even if he didn’t exactly know if he was the reason or not.  

You weren’t doing so well either; the walk to your home was filled with too much scenarios from earlier. Both the one that made your heart clench in something that confused you, and the other giving you that unpleasant feeling.

Upon finding out that Minho was to take in, sooner and probably much later, a reliable helper around the shop—and a beautiful one at that—something inside you felt unpleasant. Your insides churned in a feeling you felt whenever someone disagrees with you to the point they disrespect you. Much closely to unlike but not hate. You couldn’t put a name on this feeling but you wanted it to go away.

Switching your path, you make your way to the daycare where Minju was working, needing the advice and comfort of a female friend. You knew you can’t trust Jungwoo, because not only would he have something up his sleeve, but because the female, and most probably the male population of the area would flock the man, rendering useless for private consultations.

When you peeked into the glass windows of the place, you see only a few children were left. All the others picked up by their parents, or guardians. More notably, the ones left are the trouble makers you’ve come to know—little Jeongin, Jisung, Yongbok, Seungmin, and Hyunjin.

Rapping your knuckles on the door, you were then greeted by Dahyun—one of Minju’s co-workers. “Oh, Y/n. Did you come to talk with Minju?” The girl brightly smiled at you.

Looking at her, the gleeful smile she displayed, rubbed off on you, making you smile in return and forgetting your worries for quite a short period of time. “Yeah! I hope I’m not intruding on work hours?”

“Oh no, work ended hours ago. We’re just waiting for the kids left in here to be picked up, then we’ll be on our way.” Dahyun smiled again, opening the door wider to let you in.

“Teacher! Is that my mommy!” One of the kids, you assumed it’s Jisung from his voice.

“No sweetie, it’s Y/n,” Dahyun corrected, picking up the wood carved nutcracker that the boy dropped as he ran excitedly to the door.

Looking up at you, both in happiness and sadness, little Jisung spoke, “oh… I thought it was mommy.” He can’t help the little frown that painted his face.

You crouched down and pat Jisung’s head comfortingly, “don’t worry! Your mom will pick you up soon!”

Yongbok, Jisung’s twin brother, approached him and held his hand, “mommy won’t forget! Maybe she just stumbled on a cat that needed to be rescued!” The freckled boy made up a scenario of why their mother could be late. And at this, Jisung quickly smiled, nodding in agreement at how their mother is probably a hero in disguise.

Dahyun chuckled, holding Jisung’s hand and leading the twins back inside the room. “Come on. Minju is just preparing snacks for the kids. Apparently they don’t want to go for an afternoon nap.” You chuckled at the statement, somehow relating to the kids for still having some energy left in them.

When you finally arrived, you were greeted with the kids playing around, while Seungmin sat still in one corner, reading a book. Jisung and Yongbok joining Jeongin and Hyunjin in playing a game. However, the little quiet nook Seungmin occupied, was invaded by the other four. Soon enough, the boy reading his story book joined the fray, playing around until Minju finally arrived with a tray of snacks and drinks.

The kids, having been distracted by food, you were finally able to talk to Minju.

“Why did you come by? Isn’t it too early for you to leave the shop?” Minju asked, bunching her skirt before sitting on the floor beside you and Dahyun, conversing but still keeping eye on the kids.

You pressed your legs to your chest, your own skirt pooling to your sides. “I just needed to talk to someone.”

Dahyun being naturally concerned, perked up at the change in your tone. “Why? Has something bad happened? We can help you.” She asked.

You looked down sadly, almost feeling bad for feeling the way you feel, “it’s just, I feel bad for walking out on Minho… I didn’t even explain anything to him, and then I also walked out on the kids.” And by kids, you meant his cats—the term being natural to you and Minho.

Minju tilted her head, confused on what’s happened, “walked out? Did you get into an argument with him?”

You shook your head, “not really… I just felt upset he was really pushing through with looking for a new hire.” Now that you said the problem out loud, you felt it too ridiculous to be even worrying about. But there’s just this feeling of unsettlement that you can’t shake off.

“I’m sure it’s just seasonal, sweetie. You know how it is in spring,” Minju tried her best comforting you, rubbing your back comfortingly.

Dahyun agreed, “yeah. Besides, he probably doesn’t mind you still helping around. You know how things work there with how long you’ve been helping him.”

You stared of blankly, absorbing their words like a sponge. However, there was still something bothering you. It was nitpicking at the very corners of your heart.

“But… I don’t know… the person applying looked beautiful, and it kind of sets something inside me, I don’t know how to explain it,” you sighed. The thought of this beautiful lady working side by side with Minho was making you sad, and you were confused on how you felt. “She also seemed to be kind and gentle.”

Minju and Dahyun turned to give each other a look, already giving name to the feeling you were too oblivious about. “Oh, you sweet, innocent, naïve child.” Dahyun couldn’t help but laugh.

Minju chuckled as well, hiding her giggles behind to which piqued and confused you. “Huh? Why are you both laughing?”

Dahyun waved it off, now breaking into fits of laughter. The kids who were previously distracted by their afternoon snacks, were now huddling around you three. “Teacher is telling a joke! Teacher, tell us the joke!” Yongbok squealed excitedly, tugging on the hem of Minju and Dahyun’s skirt.

Jisung jumped up and down, while Hyunjin was holding on to Jeongin and Seungmin’s hands, who were equally piqued and excited.

Dahyun scowled at the kids, “oh you nosy children, go eat your snacks.” At this, the children pouted and groaned sadly.  

“Teacher, unfair!” Jeongin shouted, following another line, “Jeongin always tell jokes to teacher!”

Minju couldn’t help but spill as you still sat in confusion. “Our Ms., Y/n is obliviously jealous.”

After dropping the bomb, you were baffled. The kids looked confused at a word they never encountered before, except for both Seungmin and Hyunjin. The latter quickly shooting his hand up, squealing, “oh! It happens when you feel that someone you love is being taken away from you by someone else!”

Seungmin’s face soured at the mention of the word ‘love.’ “Or, you feel it when someone else has something you want.” The boy related it to something more relatable, to which the other kids now nodded their heads.

Hyunjin tugged at Seungmin, disagreeing to what the boy said; always a lover of romance as he finds a way to justify that jealousy is more akin to be felt with love. “But you feel it with someone you love too! I get jealous when other kids play with you and not with me, because I love you!” The slightly older boy pouted.

The three of you were shocked at the sudden revelation, especially the young alchemist, whose cheeks were now tinted baby pink. “Y-you can come visit my house to play anytime, we’re neighbors after all!” Seungmin turned away from Hyunjin. The latter’s eyes lighted with delight.

The kids, as well as Minju and Dahyun was now teasing the two who was shrouded with what seemed to be puppy love. As for you, you were processing what Minju labeled your feelings as ‘jealousy.’

You thought back to earlier, feeling upset at the scenarios that plagued your mind when you thought back to the lady from before. Hardly even starting work and yet the scenarios made you upset to such an extent where you’re overthinking the lady stealing Minho from you.

“O-of course I’m jealous!” You blurted out, gaining everyone’s attention. Dahyun smirked at the admission, teasing about to roll off her tongue until you added, “he’s my best friend! Of course, I’ll be upset if someone else takes him away from me!”  

Dahyun’s eye twitched in irk at your obliviousness. Rubbing her face, she groaned before asking you, “if Minju was ‘taken away’ from you, or someone else got her attention, and the someone was very pretty, would you be upset?”  

“I wouldn’t, because they might be talking about something important.” Dahyun nodded at your answer.

“If Jungwoo was talking to you, then someone else pretty would steal his attention, would you be upset?”

“It’s kind of not out of the ordinary, so I would not mind anymore.” You answered once more.

The last question, however, gave back the despair you felt from before. “If Minho was talking to someone else who looks pretty and kind, how would that make you feel?”

You mulled it over, frowning as you gave your answer. “I’d be sad.” You were used to Minho giving you all his undivided attention, despite looking the total opposite, that thinking of him doing so with someone else tugged at the pit of your stomach.

“Ms. Y/n you’re like my mama when papa is ignoring her.” Hyunjin spoke, thinking back to his mother who always pouted when her husband is piled with mails to write back to.

You didn’t think you would have such reactions to this thing. You now only think that this seems too petty to even give it that much attention, but the feeling at the pit of your stomach really wasn’t going away.

“Then what do you suggest I do?” You thought out loud for everyone to hear. Feeling helpless for even having these feelings in the first place. “I even felt my heart squeezing earlier when I glanced at Minho... It was strange.”

Minju was not aware whether you wanted that thought to be heard, but it only confirmed their suspicion of you eventually falling for your best friend.

“Ms. Y/n you’re in love!” Jisung shouted in glee, excited about the news. You only then realized your thoughts were out in the open for everyone in the small room to hear.

“No, I’m not! I think I’m sick,” you blindly reasoned, thinking it could probably be a sickness yet to be discovered. A sickness where you feel your heart almost being squeezed out when looking at someone.

“But, Ms. Y/n, my mama says she feels that way with papa!” Hyunjin reasons out, always on the move for asking about romance to his mom, who was also quite the romantic.  

“Ms. Y/n should confess to Sir Minho, right?” Minju wiggled her brows suggestively, while Dahyun gave you a very sly wink.

At this, the kids squealed in excitement, even Seungmin who was not a very romantic child. “Like how Jinnie confessed to Minnie!” Yongbok stared, his eyes twinkling like how his freckles twinkled on his cheeks. The mention once more making Seungmin flush in an adorable baby pink.

“Sir Minho is cool! He takes care of flowers, and has cats!” Jisung raised his hands excitedly, as if testifying his reasons on why you should confess to your friend.

Jeongin raised his hand as well, catching the attention of the other kids as they paid attention to the youngest speaking his thoughts. “Sir Minho is mind reader,” Jeongin starts, his sentence form still lacking as he was still young. “Sir Minho read mama’s thoughts.”

You thought back to Jeongin’s mom who was a regular at Minho’s shop. It was because the woman sticks to her favorite flower arrangement, that Minho starts working on the bouquet before the woman could even speak. Maybe that’s why Jeongin thought he was a mind reader; which you found undeniably adorable.

Upon finishing his sentence, the other boys stared in awe. Talking amongst themselves about how they also want to be a mind reader like Minho. The two daycare teachers only laughed fondly at the kids, while you stared adoringly at how their innocent and imaginative minds are very endearing.

Alas, you could only stay for such a time, leaving just before the last of the kids were picked up by their parents or guardian. Bidding the two women as well, a good bye—with them also promising to drop by the pub for a few non-alcoholic drinks—before heading back home to change out of your day outfit.

Your night—or work attire—was not anything special. Only the dress being a much lighter material to grant you ease when maneuvering around tables and tables when serving. Your shoes as well, changing to a much light and loose leather.

When you arrived, there were already some of the few patrons, with a few of your co-workers setting up the small stage. Seungkwan, one of the famous bards who performs, was already downing a small glass of ale.

“Nervous?” You asked, grabbing on to an apron under one of the counter cabinets, and wrapping it around your body.

The man gave you one of his very popular sassy looks, scoffing, “I could never. You know I’m only drinking a glass so I don’t have to take nonsense from some of the geezers here.”

If anything, Seungkwan was sassy, but respectful, only drinking, when necessary, to double the sass especially in times he needs to—like when someone starts to get too disrespectful to him during or off performance. Nonetheless, he was still a very sweet gentleman, who knows how to make the mood lighter–making him perfect for the job.

You just chuckled, giving him an understanding pat, and wishing him luck with the performance—not like you think he needed, considering the amount of talent the man holds.

The night grew busier and busier, with the thoughts from earlier finally fading. Dahyun and Minju visited you, ordering their usual rose tea with some light snacks. The two were not one with adoring the busy pub scene either, but the place was one of the best servers of alcoholic drinks as well as having the best singer in town–that there was a lot to be competing in.

“The drink was great as always Nayeon!” Dahyun thanked the older woman behind the wooden counter. Minju agreed, but frowned quickly as her dress’ sleeve got caught on one of the wooden splinters.

“Changbin should really get the counters fixed,” she muttered, loud enough for the two other girls to hear her. Unfortunately, the boy mentioned was blessed with sharp hearing, and in a matter of seconds, the man was now next to them.

“Believe me, that’s the third repair this month, but someone keeps picking on it. Chan’s getting frustrated.” Changbin crossed his arms, sighing in exasperation and empathy for his carpenter and artisan friend. The four then sighed in unison, thinking of the hardworking man and already imagining him frowning at how someone could ruin his handiworks.

After serving a few drinks to some patrons, you approached the four. Minju engaged in a short conversation before declaring that she would have to head home and sleep for another early hour shift for the next day. You bid them soon, voicing your concern for them to be careful on their way.

It was then that you, Changbin, and Nayeon were left, conversing for a short period of time before going back to work. Nayeon making the drinks, along with another colleague who had just arrived for his shift – Hansol; Changbin with managing and overseeing everyone, as well as greeting some of the regulars in his pub and even welcoming new faces, even helping with making drinks when needed; while you went around taking orders from the customers along with your co-workers, Chaeyoung, Moonbin, and Minghao.

The bustle of the tavern would have you grow exhausted and render you tired and knocked out after work, usually; however, today you were up and going on your toes. Your mind automatically leans into burning energy as a coping mechanism from what had occurred earlier that day. You were so on a roll that you barely noticed it was time for closing; only coming to mind when Chaeyoung tapped you on your shoulders and offering to walk home together.

“You’ve been spacing out lately, I figured I walk home with you so I can assure you get home safely.” Chaeyoung spoke, giving you a gentle smile as she looked down to fix and dust of her skirt.

You were touched with the kind thought of the girl, and who were you really to deny such an angelic person? You agreed with her, but not telling the reason that you agree because you also want to protect her in case some hooligans were to jump out of nowhere and even attempt to do things to you and Chaeyoung.

You were sent to be more at ease when Moonbin as well as Hansol offered to walk with you two. You knew you were capable of self defense, but with two more people, and a masculine form of intimidation, you were guaranteed safety. So, the walk home was very comfortable, alongside some quirky topics to converse in, it gave you peace at most.

💐

Peace was probably good in its own, but it was kind of bad in some way. Because when your mind feels at ease, you oversleep. Not that Minho minds it, he thinks you deserve all the rest you need after a long night at work. However, the usual time you arrive in, usually a little past noon, he’d expected you’d be there. But you weren’t.

Afternoon rush were very common in his store, and without you, Minho was somehow a fumbling mess here and there. It was bad enough that Sana—the girl who he was supposed to interview—was sat uneasily in a seat at the corner of the shop. The girl offering to help him with managing some of the customers, but Minho politely declined, and now she was forced to just watch as the man hurries from one place to the other.

A couple more hours after the rush hour and you finally arrived, perkier than before. Minho sighed in relief, after having to worry that something else could have happened to you. He greeted you but he got no reply as he watched you approach the cats, a small bundle of treats out of the pockets of your skirt.

“Oh, is that Ms. Y/n?” Sana asked, after having done with Minho’s briefing and approval that today she’d start work, but under your guidance.

“Yes.” He answered shortly, still gazing at you. Sana watched with hawk like curiosity at you two. “Uh…Just approach her and ask; she doesn’t seem too keen on talking to me.” And it piqued the girl, as Minho was left with the conundrum of what could he have possibly done for you to suddenly ignore him, and not his cats.

Sana nodded her head, approaching you cautiously so as not to trigger any negative feelings with you. “Hi,” she spoke timidly but brightly at the same time.

You looked up from the cats who were enjoying their treats—who you didn’t know were currently grounded and banned from eating treats for the week. You gave a curious look at the girl, despite the churning feeling of hurt inside you, you urged her to ask a question, which was obvious from the way she fiddled at the texture of her skirt.

“Minho said I’d be under your wing for the week. I’ll be learning the ropes around the shop with your guidance, as he said you were more experienced.” She said, fumbling again as she hurried to add her self introduction, “my mistake for not introducing. My name is Minatozaki Sana. I live just down the block from the marketplace. And I’ve always been interested in flowers.” Sana didn’t know just how to introduce herself to you, as you seemed to hold that unexplainable air of intimidation while also feeling approachable.

Pushing hard on the gnawing pain in your chest and stomach, you gave her your most genuine smile. You’d do this for Minho, even if there was an unexplainable feeling inside you. You didn’t want to name it jealously. But Sana seemed harmless and quite perfect with Minho, and you can’t help but sigh in defeat inside.

And it went on for a week. Maybe two or three. But Minho was sure you’ve been avoiding him, definitely. Because he’s been watching you for days with those forlorn eyes.

You barely arrived in time for rush hours, the way you always do. And when you had free time, you either spent it with the cats, or you’d go next door to Jungwoo. And it sends him reeling with feelings of hurt and jealousy, more than curiosity.  

He asks himself why you suddenly avoided him? Was it something he did? Did he offend you in some way? He’d have deep talks with Soonie sometimes, but the cat just tells him to talk to you about it. But how was he supposed to talk to you, if you keep walking away from him when he was at arm’s length to you?

You were no better yourself. You watched the times when Sana and Minho would talk. They looked so comfortable with each other now. And when Sana laughs at Minho saying something, you just can’t look. Minho looks so soft with his gentle smile, and it makes your heart wrench. You almost want to hurl out your insides not out of disgust, but out of hurt. Hoping that vomiting it out could stop you from having these feelings.

You’ve been frequenting your visit with Jungwoo, just for the sole purpose of distraction. Because it was surely amusing to watch him decline date invites from men and women alike, who holds up the line in his little café. But you’re suddenly into people watching. You watched everyone’s gesture, developing the habit after having spaced out a lot of times. And Jungwoo’s café was the perfect place for it.

You also visited the daycare a lot. Finding comfort in the two girls, while also playing with some of the kids there. And it also piqued at you at Hyunjin and Seungmin’s predicament. After Hyunjin’s puppy love confession, the two have been inseparable. Always doing things together, confiding in the other, when one is lonely. And you felt jealousy for the kids, because you wanted to do the same with Minho.

….

…

..

.

You wanted what with Minho?!

You dropped the clay pot you were holding, breaking it to pieces, as both Sana and Minho rushed to your side.  

“Y/n, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Minho fumbled, grasping your hand and stepping you away from the broken pieces of clay on the floor. Searching and scanning your hands for any scratch or open wound.

“I’ll go get the broom, you two don’t make a move or touch anything,” Sana hurries to the back room to pick up the long broom and pan.

You were too focused on your hands that were enveloped by Minho’s slightly larger ones.

You wanted to hold hands with Minho. You wanted to hold his hands, the way Hyunjin and Seungmin does. Not platonically, but romantically. You wanted to be there for him when he’s feeling alone, so you can give him your undivided love and affection.

That’s when it hit you that you really were feeling something more for your childhood friend.

“Y/n?” He looks into your eyes with unbridled concern and…love? “You can sit this one out and rest if you're not feeling well. I can even talk to Changbin so you don’t have to go to work.” His thumbs were rubbing the back of your hands in comfort, and it triggered the butterflies inside you stomach, especially now that you’ve something to name that feeling you had been feeling the past few weeks.

Love and hurt. Longing and jealousy.

Sana walks back into the room and starts sweeping hurriedly, all the while speaking out her concern for you. She was about to walk back to the back room of the shop to look for any medicinal herbs for if you did have any injuries.

But you ran away.

You fled from the scene, right after yanking your hands from the comfort of Minho’s calloused ones. Hearing both the concerned and shocked calls from Minho and Sana.

More than heart racing and fluster, you were feeling shame, regret and sadness at the late realization. The hurt from weeks of having it unnamed had increased ten fold now that you have a name for your emotion.

So you ran and ran, until you found yourself once more inside the daycare. It was still early, the kids were yet to be dismissed, so you halt in your running to catch your breath. Your feet aching from the heels you wore. Looking for a bench to sit on along with the other parents and guardians who were waiting. Minju got out on one of the rooms, and was surprised to see you come earlier.

“You’re here early. Anything happened?” She asked, concern written in her face as she scanned your out of breath form.

“We’ll talk later, you just go and finish what you need to do,” you assured her, not wanting to get her in trouble for talking during work hours.

Half an hour passed and the kids were finally dismissed. The five mischievous boys were still around, along with the three other little girls who were busy in their own world.

Minju found it appropriate that you now enter the room, sitting you down on the floor next to one of the children’s small table. “I’ll prepare some tea,” she says, scurrying to the daycare’s small kitchen in the back.

You were left with Dahyun who was quick to sit next to you on the floor. Your skirts littered the floor in bunches. “You need some water, you look like you ran around the country,” Dahyun said, handing you a glass of water.

You were quick to down the glass, and settle it gently on the small table. “I did. I did run to here.” You heaved in and out in slow breaths.

Dahyun nodded her head, sensing something good or interesting has happened. She leaned closer, her hands resting her chin as her elbows were propped on the table.

You know the look she’s giving so you spoke, “not until Minju is seated.” You scoffed, turning your head away as you weren’t really in to explaining everything that happened in repeated times.

Once the girl did arrive, you were quick to explain why you ran, coming to a conclusion, “I also just now realized my feelings for Minho…” You spoke timidly, unbeknownst to you the eavesdropping ears of the rascals.

“I knew it! Ms. Y/n does like Sir Minho!” Jisung announces, more so quick to celebrating than the two older girls.

“Ms. Y/n don’t worry, I’m sure Sir Minho likes you as well,” Chaeryeong spoke timidly, but her eyes sparkled.

“You rascals, you should never listen to adults talking,” Dahyun scolded light heartedly. The kids running away as she chased them around the room.

You thanked her for having quick senses on your feelings of vulnerability. You knew the kids meant well, but you were really in need of some safe space at the moment. Minju took your hand in hers, sandwiching it in comfortable warmth.

You’ve always been jealous of Minju having soft and smooth hands, as yours have always been rough at such a young age. Despite being soft, the surface of your hands were always rough, and littered with creases and lines. It was one of your insecurities, which was why you were quick to pull your hands away from Minho earlier.

“I’m proud of you coming to terms with your feelings, sweetie. But, I need you to be more confident in yourself. I can sense you feeling hesitant and insecure.” Minju softly voiced, giving you hand gentle massages to ease you from your worries. “Will you tell me what you feel at the moment?”

You sighed deeply, before speaking out your thoughts. “I feel very much insecure, you’re right.”

Minju nodded, “will you tell me what you’re most insecure about? I won’t pressure you if you feel uncomfortable.” She speaks, all the while giving your hand gentle presses.

“I just suddenly feel defeated… I feel like I’m not worthy of having Minho. I’m not perfect like Sana. And they especially look good together. Minho looks really comfortable with her, and I felt like I’m disrupting them, when I finally came to terms with how I feel.”

Minju frowned, upset to hear you bringing yourself down. But she urged you to continue, wanting you to let out what you feel so you’d be carrying a lighter load in the future. And once you were done, she was quick to envelope you in her arms.

With you two having sat on the floor, it was easier to engulf you in warmth. You feeling small, yet safe around the warmth of your dear friend. Silently sobbing out your insecurities as she whispered the words you needed to hear in that moment.

Dahyun did her best to distract the kids and give you two the time you need, but she can only do as much, as the kids now turn their attention to you two.

Yongbok gasps, sparkles lighting his eyes as his freckles as the sight of you two, “it’s a cuddle pile!” The little boy giggles excitedly, wanting to be involved in the cuddles.

His twin, Jisung, joins. Running with arms wide open as the two tried their best to hug you and Minju with their little arms.

Jeongin, Chaeryeong, Yeji and Lia as well, running up to you and jumping to hug. Hyunjin and Seungmin going last. Seungmin a bit reluctant, but going along as Hyunjin tugged him along.

“You kids,” Dahyun sighed exasperated, however joining the pile as well, the last to wrap her arms around all of you, even if you all didn’t fit.

Minho wasn’t doing well. Even more heart broken with how you ran away from him; stressed because he never knew what the reason was for you to avoid him. Most of all, missing your cheery aura, that was all for him. He had a possessive side, that was much, but it wasn’t bad. He just was naturally drawn to you like a magnet.

“You should talk to Y/n,”  Sana speaks up, noticing the broken look of Minho. “There seemed to be a misunderstanding.”

Minho looked back to her, confused.

“She likes you Minho, that much is obvious,” Sana chuckles. “But she seemed to look at us as something more. You know I don’t swing that way.”

Minho felt bare and exposed. Was he wearing his heart on his sleeves to be read that easily? Was it really obvious that he was giving you the heart eyes? The longing, forlorn looks? The subtle chuckles when he sees you communicating with the cats, but he very well knows that you aren’t on the same page as the cats—as he can communicate with them?

“Let’s close up the shop. You need time to gather your thoughts.” Sana gives him a reassuring smile and pat, leaving for the shop’s front door, and flipping the sign. Carrying the displays inside the shop, and doing a bit of sweeping.

Once Minho snaps out of his thoughts, he helped with closing the shop. A bit fidgety, he was. Concerned, of course, but he was formulating the things he wanted to say. And if Sana is right that you feel the same as him, then he needs to let it all bare. He has to be honest to you and clear up the misunderstanding.

After he closed the shop, and bidding Sana a farewell, he wrote a letter to Changbin, asking for a two day leave in your stead, explaining how you seemed to be out of it and not in the right mindset lately. But also leaving out the fact that he needs to talk to you about something important.

Minho calls for Soonie, asking the older cat to send the letter to Changbin. While some people had their own messenger birds, Minho mostly did his messaging through his cats. Not finding it fit to have a bird as a messenger when he had three cats.

After the older cat left, Minho quickly wrote another letter. This one was for you. Asking for some of your time and talk about what you were feeling. He tried to be very obvious in the letter that he missed you, and he hoped you were feeling up for it. He did say he would respect your decision if you wouldn’t want to talk at the moment.

And after having written the letter, he called for Dori, asking the young cat to deliver the letter. He then watched as the grey cat walked away happily and out of the shop through their little cat door.

“That’s unfair. Why don’t I get to deliver letters?” Doongie meowed, upset.

Minho scoffed at the second oldest. “You’re mischievous. Who knows what you could’ve done to the letter?”

Doongie meowed louder, “I’m literally a cat!”

Minho chuckled, tapping on to his thighs. “I’m sorry. I’ll let you send letters in the future.” He grinned, naturally weak for his cats.

And although Doongie was such a mischievous little one of his, he was grateful for the cuddles that the cat gave him. Automatically giving him comfort.

He decided that he needs the comfort of a male friend, so he made sure to take note in confiding to Jungwoo before he gets to talk to you.

A little while into the afternoon while walking on your way home, a white dove lands softly on your head; blocking your view with an envelope. You noticed the dove to be Changbin’s. You thought back to when Changbin had sent you a mail through his messenger bird, actually expecting a bird close to the more predator type, seeing as the man himself looked intimidating. But you may have judged him by his cover then, because Changbin was a pure and honest man himself.

Picking at the letter gently, you thanked the beautifully, untainted bird. The dove nuzzling the top of your head in affection before flying off.

Upon opening the letter, you see the words written in bold that you’re given two days off from work, without proper explanation. And as much as you want to storm to the pub, or even the man’s home itself, you knew just how stubborn Changbin is once he makes a decision.

Sighing, you snugged the letter safely inside your pocket.

Your mood have slightly improved with Minju and Dahyun’s comfort, as well as having the kids give you a cuddle pile. And you didn’t think you’d be taking advice from a child, but here you were, engraving young Hyunjin’s advice into your brain.

Honesty is the best way to go especially when communicating. Just let it all out Ms. Y/n. If Sir Minho loves you as well, then he will love your everything even if you hate them.

You sighed, thinking how running away from this would be useless. And if Minho were to not reciprocate your feelings, you deemed it better, as long as you know he’s happy. It would be worth the try. You just hoped he keeps being friends with you.

Your thoughts of planning to talk to him tomorrow, as you do have two days off, were interrupted as you felt something brushing on your legs. You look down to see Dori, who had a letter in its mouth. You knew then that it was a message from Minho.

Scared that it would be a message of him scolding you from earlier, you didn’t pick it up. You were afraid you’d let out some tears. Instead, you picked up the cat, and took long strides to your house, finding it more fit that you read the letter in a more private setting.

After setting Dori down inside your home, you gave the young cat some treats, and a small bowl of water. Taking the letter gently out of its mouth and opening it nervously.

However, upon opening, you were not greeted with the ominous aura or wording. Instead, you find that it’s quite hinting differently. At the very bottom, he was asking you to meet him at midnight at Mooncross Lake. The lake where you two would usually play to by yourselves when you were kids.

There seemed to be more to the letter as you read the first alphabets of each word at the left side of the paper. Each row’s first letters creating the phrase “I miss you.”

It raised your hopes. Heightened the feeling inside your stomach. Leaving your heart racing.

Minho knew you all too well. He knows how you loved solving puzzles, deciphering riddles, theorizing, and the like. And for him to incorporate as such in the letter, it left your mind at ease, all the while feeling hopeful.

Hopeful that he’d feel the same.

And so when night came, you were antsy. Dori left after demanding some cuddles from you, and you were left to feel anxious until you felt that it was finally time to meet up with Minho.

The track to the lake was safe, as the path were illuminated by magic lamps. If someone were to jump out of nowhere, and cause trouble, you were prepared; having a small emergency dagger around your neck.

The necklace having its pendant designed in the shape of a dagger. Only does it become the right hand held size when manifested with mana. It was a present that Jungwoo gave to you and Minju to help you to protect yourself especially at night.

Once you approach, the lake, you were greeted with the man’s silhouette, illuminated by the moonlight, both from the moon itself, as well as from the reflection of the lakes surface. The dark tones creating a mirror, an illusion of no land and only space.

You approached the form. An all to familiar form. You know it’s Minho, from all the times you’ve known him and looked at him, you have his everything memorized. Even the gestures and mannerisms he does.

“Minho?” You called out. Your voice acting as knife that cut through the night’s serene silence.

And you were right, as the silhouette now turned to you. Minho approached you, his leather shoes creating a rhythm with the grass and some fallen leaves. Accompanied were the sounds of metal clanking from the lamp he carried, along with the rustle of his rucksack making contact with his shirt. Only now did he light the lamp using the matchbox he had with him.

Setting down the lamp, he pulled out a small blanket from his rucksack. It looked to be the only thing in his pack. He sat down, both your distance from the lake, a good 10 feet away. Once he was comfortably seated, he held out his hand, asking for yours.

You hesitantly gave yours, but freed from his grasp just as fast after sitting. Minho looked away sadly, which you missed as you turned your head away. Both of you still wrapped around in misunderstanding but Minho wants to clear it up as fast, afraid to prolong the heartache he’s been feeling.

The serene silence turns tense. The crickets being the only one to speak its thoughts in the cold spring air.

“I…” Minho starts, after finally gathering his courage.

You turn to look at him, and with the lamp shining from below you two, you were able to make out the distant and hurt look that painted his face. It made your heart clench.

Why was he unhappy? Was the “I miss you” just you reading into too much things, and he’s actually just finding it hard to look for the words to say that he’s not interested in you?

Oh how you wished to go back through time to save yourself from the embarrassment waiting to happen.

“I’m sorry…” He says quietly. And as if the air wasn’t tainted with enough tension and awkwardness, the crickets have stopped their chorus, making the air more unbearable.

You couldn’t handle the tears, as they make their way out your orbs and dance freely to kiss the air of cool spring. You sobbed silently, you breathing held.

But how can you hold your breath for long? Of course you couldn’t. So the silence was once more disrupted as you heaved in deeply, the snot that has formed clogged your breathing, making it more audible that you were indeed crying.

“I know, let’s just stop this. Th-there’s clearly no way you would like me. Why did I even get my h-hopes up.” You sobbed in between your breaths.

Minho was worried with how you suddenly cried. Taking you in his arms, he started rubbing his hands up and down your back. He didn’t mind the wet patch that has formed as he leaned your forehead to rest on his shoulders.

“How can you think this way, Y/n? Of course I like you…” His other hand made it’s way to your head. Your hair loosely hanging, making it easier to thread his fingers through, massaging your scalp comfortingly.

“You’re obligated to like me…because I’m your, f-friend…” You never thought that the word friend could wound your heart so deeply.

Minho felt his heart ache. Did you really see his affection as an obligation?

“See it as you will, but I like you genuinely. I like you to the point it hurts my heart. You don’t even know how much you make me feel at ease when I’m with you…” Minho hugged you closer to him, afraid of losing you if he didn’t hold on tighter.

“I like you even more than how normal friends see each other. I see myself with you. In my past, my present, and future. I’m sorry I haven’t been verbal with my affection for you, but I don’t think words can explain how I feel, Y/n.”

Your sobbing dies down slowly, as you listened to him further explain. And the more he explained, the more your heart was left beating.

“I’m sorry for the unnecessary misunderstanding I’ve created, Y/n. I never wanted to get rid of you. I never even had the slightest thought about it…” Minho explains, after having talked with Jungwoo. Your friend reading your feelings as something akin to fear. It was close, because you did have a fear of losing Minho.

“But, you like Sana. I know, because you look at her with something… it’s something close to love…And when she looks at you, you suddenly look away…” You clenched on Minho’s shirt. Hurt flashing across you once more as you thought to that scene of Minho looking fondly at Sana.

Minho is baffled. He doesn’t even remember looking at the girl in that way. Could it have been a coincidence? Because he remembers looking at you with heart eyes—admittedly—and it just so happens that Sana is right behind you, catching him on the act, that probably triggers his flustered reaction.

Suddenly he can’t help but let out a fond chuckle. And it hurt you more, thinking that he’s ridiculing you, causing you to slightly push him away.

The gesture clutches at Minho’s heart, but he has to clear up the misunderstanding before even thinking about giving up.  

“You never let me explain properly…” Minho sighs, taking one of your hand still in his.

You looked away in shame. Ever since talking to him finally, you never made the first step, even having the guts to push him away and put words in his mouth.

As if sensing your negative thoughts, Minho’s other hand cups your jaw, turning you to look at him straight in the eyes, as he starts explaining properly. “Me turning away, was due to Sana catching me in the act of looking at you, fondly.”

“I don’t think I can ever look at someone the same way I look at you. I want you to trust me. To believe me; that my heart is only for you.” He placed a kiss on your forehead, before continuing, “besides, Sana is married, and I believe she’s not interested in men.”

At the news, your eyes grew like saucers. You never noticed this, not even the ring that glistens on Sana’s finger whenever the sun’s ray hit her hands. How could you have missed that?

“Why do you think I let Sana be under your wing? Other than you being more than capable enough to teach a newcomer, it’s also because she said that she’d be more comfortable if she worked with the same gender.” Minho spoke, explaining how Sana had spoke vaguely about having bad experiences with men.

“She seemed comfortable with you though?” You asked, still quite confused.

“About that,” Minho chuckles again, his cheeks now a blooming shade of pink, a tint of yellow from the lamp’s candlelight making the shade a bit orange. “Sana thought we were married, and just so happened to be in a quarrel.”

It was your turn to flush. The thought of being married with Minho fluttered your heart to no end.

“A lot of people seemed to think that way…” Minho spoke. He’s hinting something. Hinting at you how both your affection for each other goes beyond being just friends, that people could easily mistake you for a couple.

“I don’t think I’m done explaining what I feel, but I can’t find any more words, so I will let you have your turn to speak. And if time comes I need to explain more, I will keep letting you know, until you know just how much I adore you; romantically. Because I promise you, no words can explain just how much I feel for you.”

Tears well up in your eyes; overwhelm being an understatement. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you,” you started, heaving in another breath as another wave of tears wells up and ready to fall. “I was scared of losing you, I didn’t know what to do.”

You sniffled, wiping the tears that can’t stop falling. Minho now cupping your cheeks with both hands as he did the wiping for you, making a silent promise to never give you any reason to cry.

“You—she…she just seemed so perfect for you. I can never compete. I’m just me. She’s almost sent from the heavens, made for you. And her hands look soft and smooth and perfect for you…”

Minho grasps your hands with both of his, resting them on his face, “but these are the hands that I love. These hard working ones who helped get through the day. These gentle hands that holds mine when I need them. These caring hands that took care of my kids and flowers with so much care in the world.”

He retaliates your insecurities with the things he came to love about you, and it brought more than enough comfort inside you. “Your hands are rough, and it’s enough proof for what kind of person you are. I’m not saying that Sana is the complete opposite and is lazy—as she’s hard working as well,” Minho chuckles, and it made you let out one as well, knowing that the girl worked hard as well as everyone you knew. “But know that there’s more to you than what you seem. I want you to slowly see yourself the way others, especially the ones you’re close with, see you.”

You nod your head, closing the gap between you to and wrap yourselves once more in a comforting hug. “I apologize again for ignoring you,” you whispered sadly.

Minho rubs your back comfortingly, “I admit I was hurt, but it’s all okay now. As long as you’re here with me.”

You finally sighed contently after weeks of constant hurt and confusion, that you let the words slip past easily from your lips, “I love you.”

Minho can’t help the lovesick grin forming on his lips, as he replied back, “I love you, too.”

An eruption of butterflies from both of you, along with the racing of heart beats, that you swore you can feel his in sync with yours through his thin shirt.

“Does this mean I’m yours?” You asked curiously with a shy smile, looking up from where you rested your head on his shoulder.

Minho’s smile never faded, only growing wider that the corners of his eyes wrinkles in happiness. “Yes. As I am yours, too.”

Your heart wrenches in pain, but not from hurt. You feel something close to a flower blooming, and it was enough explanation that you were absolutely in love with your childhood friend.

“I’m yours, and you’re mine.” You whispered to yourself, smiling.

Minho hears, and replies, “Yes, I’m yours and you’re mine.” He smiles to himself, humming a song in content as he pressed occasional kisses on top of your head, and on your hands that were interlocked. Watching the scenery, just in time as the nocturnal flowers start to bloom, where some even emitted a gentle, blue glow.

Minho could’ve gone with confessing during the day where the flowers were most beautiful to admire and would fit the situation, but this worked well. The night in combination with the nocturnal flowers. They’re like you, he thinks. You’re most active in the night and he found it as beautiful as the flowers in the day. And he thinks that this moment he shares with you tonight, is still as perfect and budding with romance as any other spring love told.

[lunaflvms]

西村力; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 WISHLIST !

profiles three - gay emo furries

descriptions !

help theres gonna be more but im too lazy to do them plus they arent that important to the story

choi yeonjun: 99 liner, ikr old!!! /j i need to stop yeonjun slander fr HELP anyways knows y/n since she was actually one of the back up dancers for enha and txt stage since the other one got injured, lol dance practices together with txt

choi soobin: 00 liner, leader of txt #yass, soobin got along really well with y/n and asked her to be a permanent back up dancer for them but sunghoon pulled her away saying she needed to go take her baby nap before she could answer (probably wanted y/n to be back up dancer for enha HELP)

choi beomgyu: 01 liner, middle child of txt, super caotic and basically y/ns partner in crime, y/n forces him to play work at the pizza place with her, both trouble makers and love to play around with people

kang taehyun: 02 liner, txt’s only braincell tbh, tries to make sure beomgyu and y/n dont get into any trouble, keyword: tries, most of the time he fails cuz they end up doing weird shit together like prank calling all the hybe artists

huening kai: 02 liner, txt’s maknae #hueningkaislayed also pretty close to y/n mainly to piss sunghoon off tbh (sunghoon protective era) slay hueningkai and y/n like to dress up eachother and do fashion shows infront of txt

hwang hyunjin: 00 liner, mannn he always makes his way into my smaus, (soulmate behaviour 🤣🤣👆/j im just down bad for him) bye y/n hasnt met him yet but shes a huge fan of him, eventually become really good friends

previous masterlist next

sypnosis: having a famous idol brother had its pros and cons, the pros? well you kind of get second hand fame if you ever go public on social media. the cons? well your annoying brother always tries to set you up with his members, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if he didn’t keep trying to set you up with his groups maknae nishimura riki who you once met and had accidentally spilled coffee on you and then told you to suck it up.

author’s note: slay posting prologue tomorrow look out for it 😋 AND ALSO NEW SKZ TRAILER IM SCREECHING

taglist: @giyyuzz @mitsukifilms @c9tnoos @rinnqx @hoonieseyesmile @iheartbeomz @hyuckslytherin @pshwyfie @afiaaaa19 @heesunki @h4chi @deeznutsriki @oreosunoo @ahnneyong @m00nylup1n @chewnotgyu @bbanghoonie @ifsfleur @meowoni @rjxdnnn @spicynlong @bigtittietoji @nshrkilvbt @manaswisingh @fairfairee @143pjs @magssu @maeumiluv @blaaiissee @shysakuno @luviehyck @mintbgyu @jkjkseo @yvesismywife @duolingofanaccount @leeis @cosmiclele @rosie-is-everywhere @hanniesss @nuenn

permanent taglist: @acciomylove @missmadwoman @ja4hyvn @soobin-chois @enloveclub @gold-dragon-slayer @maiwon @one16core @juniblvssom @1-800-lixie @enhacolor

[crvsh-culture]

interactive fiction recs

here are my current interactive fiction recs. i will be updating the list, as there are more that i have yet to play through.

disclaimer: not all of those listed are/will be free!! their demos are free, but the finalized book may be paid.

The Wayhaven Chronicles: up to book 3 demo books 1 and 2 can both be found on HostedGames app. by @seraphinitegames

we have all seen litg blogs shift into a wayhaven focus, but for good reason! reader is a small town detective that finds out that their own world is very much supernatural- starting with four vampire agents. you can play as male, female, or non-binary. the four love interests are all super interesting and unique, offered in male and female counterparts- i’ve done every route, including the love triangle route which is crushing but just as interesting.

When Twilight strikes: book 1 demo by @evertidings

just found this recently and i’m obsessed- i have reblogged their demo here already but i’m talking about it again. reader is a bounty hunter for supernaturals, in the top bounty hunter duo to be exact. you can play as male, female, non-binary, or you can set your own pronouns which i found really cool! there are five different love interests that are all so so interesting- i’m not sure which route i’m doing first tbh- offered in male, female, and non-binary counterparts. a lot of tropes seems to be covered such as enemies to lovers, best friends/ partners to lovers, and a sarcastic criminal bounty love interest.

Tricksters: book 1 demo by @folkborewrites

guess what? another supernatural universe babey. reader is thrust into a supernatural world in connection to their fathers disappearance. you can play as male, female, or non-binary. there are four love interests, but there are strictly two men and two women love interests with no counterparts. they’re all still really cool characters though and the story line is so interesting. very early in the demo, so i don’t have as much to say, but i still recommend!

Buried Love: up to day 3 available by @buriedlove

by our very own @kittidot. she very much deserves to be mentioned, because i’m very much in love with this story. reader is a human going on a dating game show, but you guessed it, supernatural characters are involved! you can play as male, female, non-binary (with customizable pronouns), or gender-fluid. there are 8 potential endgame love interests with set genders and include four male, three female, and one non-binary option- though we only know 5 of the love interests at this point in the game. the current love interests range from a vampire (who i love), a werewolf, a valkyrie, an elf prince (who i also love), and another human!

Mind blind: book 1 demo by @mindblindbard

shifting away from supernatural things, but definitely not in a natural human world! set in a future Chicago, where everyone is somewhat mentally enhanced- telepathy, telekinesis and so on, OR simply having mental ability to block those special telepaths and such from reaching their brain. but guess who none of the above applies to? yup, the reader is unique in that way. as the book is described: the story where you are not the chosen one! you can play as male, female, or non-binary. plus you can choose to play as asexual, which is super cool because i know IF’s can be a struggle for asexuals at times. there are five love interests- three which have male and female counterparts, one set female love interest, and one set male love interest. the storyline in phenomenal but i don’t want to give too much away, it’s a very very big recommend though!

Body Count: (18+) book 1 demo by @bodycountgame

a dating game show- those of the litg demographic will probably enjoy this one- but once again, not a normal game show. because guess what? someone gets murdered! it’s very early stages of the demo, so we haven’t really gotten to the whole murder part, but it’s in the description so good luck. you can play as male, female, or non-binary (including xe/xem and ze/zir pronoun options!) The love interests have set genders and include four male, four female, and three non-binary options. this includes fellow contestants as well as two of the show’s directors! of all mentioned, this is the most interactive and very unique in that way. as it is early in the demo, the murders are determined by a voting session held on the tumblr of our dear author, Nell. they offer a list of names and let us vote for our favorites- bottom three characters are then placed in their hands and Nell decides who it will be who dies. i’m so invested in this already.

Golden: book 1 demo by @milaswriting

back to the supernatural babey. our dear MC has a fancy little birthmark that pushes them into the supernatural world, starting with a team of supernaturals meant to kill protect observe the MC. you can play as male, female, or nb- with hijab options in the appearance selection! our team of supernatural are what make up the love interests- with male and female counterparts- and include supernaturals such as a vampire, a werewolf (who i love), a wizard/witch, and a half god/goddess. early stage demo, but i already love.

Blood Moon: book 1 demo by @barbwritesstuff

i think this is a first for my list but YOU get to be a supernatural!!! your pack moves into a city and one night you encounter a stray (a werewolf without a pack of their own) wandering your streets- and this opens up just how deep the supernatural world is in your city. you can play as male, female, or non-binary. the love interests are set genders and include three males (including a trans character! one that is really well written, even in spicy scenes), three females, and one non-binary option. each character is super unique and i am already loving their story line and actually getting to be a supernatural.

The Odessa Dating Games: book 1 demo by @theodessadatinggames

reality dating with a royal twist! your lovely roommate makes a bet to get you to sign up for a dating site- but big surprise! this actually leads to you becoming a contestant in a show to compete for a royal hand in marriage with the heir to odessa. you can play as male, female, or non-binary. love interests include two set females, one set male, one with m/f counterparts, one with m/f/nb counterparts, and- as the author describes it- “a few others that I’ll let you guys discover for yourselves!” i honestly stayed up way longer than i should have because i couldn’t stop reading this demo. i couldn’t recommend it more.

You Live and Fern: (18+) book 1 demo by @beetlebethwrites

i’m a sucker for a slice of life IF. you and your friends run a nature video channel and are trying to make it in the world. it’s described as “friendship and found family vibes” which is totally accurate and exactly what i’m looking for in my media. you can play as male, female, or non-binary with the option for your mc to be trans! the RO’s include one male, one female, three non-binary people (two whom we have not met yet, but one of them uses xe/xem pronouns and another uses he/they pronouns!), and a m/f/nb gender selectable RO * if i’ve made a mistake in the way i described the gender and pronouns thing, pls don’t hesitate to correct me! *

Remember, You Will Die: book 1 demo by @vapolis

y’all aren’t even ready for this one. the most action packed thing i have recommended so far, but i’m obsessed. you play as a mercenary- a gun for hire with quite the track record- but missions start… going wrong. there’s so many cool components that i can’t even begin to talk about for spoiler reasons, but i cannot recommend enough. you can play as male, female, or non-binary with the option for your MC to be trans. there are four RO’s that include one male, one female, one non-binary person (who i fell in love with by accident- i went into this story set on someone else but i simply love them) , and one f/m selectable choice. ** do check the warnings in the beginning if you are triggered by reading sensitive content. **

honorable mentions (aka, no demo yet but i’m obsessed.)

Ear Candy: (18+) by @earcandy-if

the way that this story has a hold on me is insane. we don’t even have a demo out and i’m in love with everyone and the OC i have for this… anyways! you are a drummer in the band Second Rate, fresh off a grammy win. seeing as the demo isn’t out yet, i have little info about the full customizations for your MC but it does say gender customizable! there are four RO’s with set genders, two males and two females. includes a fwb routes with your bands front man, and yes i will be fully consumed in the angst of that, thank u.

Straight Red: by @straightred-if

by the same author as ear candy. her characters are living rent free rn…. anyway. you are a newly signed soccer player to thornwall fc. once again a slice of life if, but one of the first sports IF i’ve found so i’m very excited. once again, no demo, so we don’t have full details on MC customization but it is gender customizable. it has been stated that this team is not gender specific so the team will be a big mix of people! there are three RO’s, all with set genders and include one male (a beefy himbo!), one female (a doctor!!!), and one non-binary person (fwb babey!) i have my favorite RO but im honestly in love with them all if you couldn’t tell.

[collectionoftulips]

Hello! I hope that you are well! I am super curious about your writing process. How long does it take you to come up with a chapter? Do you have a playlist? If you feel comfortable, could you share one song that represent Both Sides Now story? Also, I am fascinated by how you crafted deep emotions in your writing. Anyways, take care and I am sending you love and positives vibes.

❤️❤️❤️❤️ What a lovely question, thank you so much!

First, I think a bit about 'what do I want to convey/what kind of story do I want to write?'. Sometimes that can be a concept, a vibe I want to convey, a specific end point I want to reach, so it can be really diverse. Usually, I will have a vague idea of this already as there usually is a reason why I'm drawn for a particular concept or prompt.

Then I'm a huge proponent of outlining a story. I know some people do it really thoroughly before they even start writing, but I'm somewhere in the middle and tbh I use outlining continuously through writing a story in different ways. But I'm not massively rigid with it because the story can easily develop and you might realise that certain bits need some 'space to breathe' so I might add certain scenes etc. But before I start the first chapter, I try to have an outline for at least the first couple of chapters. As much as I love being in a world or just having the characters exist in it, I think it's important to write to something. You have an end goal in mind, a theme or something that you are working towards so I even try to have descriptions etc that partly do 'world building', but those descriptions need to also matter either to the character or serve the main thematic narrative of the story. Describing everything is impossible so figuring out what's important and focus on a few things is kinda my approach (then whether it's 'the way you're supposed to do it' I have no idea). Sorry I'm getting rambly but I really like thinking/talking about writing (and if anyone wanna share their thoughts, feel free!)

But yeah, I've noticed that I at least try to have a solid outline for the first few chapters of the story with the end point set at the bare minimum. With stories where I haven't done that as much, I end up getting a little bit stuck, even if I might have an endpoint etc.

I do have a playlist for my stories, where the vibe or ambiance of the song is way more important than specific. It tends to be a lot of melancholy singer-songwriter stuff, which tbh might be my genre, but also the music needs to blend to the background when I'm writing. Although I don't always listen to the playlists when writing. Sometimes I don't use any music in the background and sometimes I put on classic music (so like a lot of Chopin, Grieg, Tchaikovsky etc) because quite frankly sometimes lyrics are distracting.

As far as what song embodies Both Sides Now it has to be the song that inspired the title of the story:

(Joni Mitchell left Spotify as a platform because of Spotify's platforming of Joe Rogan and COVID misinformation so I hope this version should hopefully be her official YouTube. Side note: has people got any experience with Apple Music? Is it any good?)

But I don't know if that answer is a cop out or not. There's a good number of songs that I now firmly associate in my head with certain stages of BSN. For million years ago, I also did like a 'soundtrack' because I fell deep into learning my learning my photo editing software rabbit hole that might be of interest about the other ones

When it comes to writing emotions in the story, I guess the really 'obvious' point is that at least for me, I try to relate to the situation that the character is going through, so I try to get a sense of what I think my reaction might be (and how it might probably be in reality versus what I theoretically think my reaction would be). I then try to imagine that in light of the background of the character, how would the characters behave in that situation. What is at the forefront of their minds? What's the most crucial thing for them in this moment? etc.

Another thing that I think has made the relating or I guess empathising with the characters easier or given what I think/hope is a different way of relating to characters' behaviours is that during the pandemic, I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole of watching therapists react to reality television (and using that as a jumping off point to talk about a bunch of stuff) and I think that's probably helped inform different ways of understanding human behaviour. I might watch a reality television clip and be like 'wtf are they doing?' and then listen to the therapists sort of talk about why someone might behave in that way etc and while I'm definitely not a psychologist, I weirdly think that watching that type of content just made me train that 'operating from a place of empathy' muscle and I try/hope that I try to translate that into my writing, even when characters behave in ways I might not do or might not agree with (but if I understand the rationale for their motivation it becomes less - for me - about agreeing or disagreeing with certain behaviour).

Thank you so much for this really really lovely ask and sorry if it got a bit wordy. I just really enjoyed answering it and I hope it was useful or interesting to read as well!

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #166

Bonjour and Bienvenue boys and belles to another bit on the BB Channel! For today we’re building the boisterous baroness of bacchanalia as one bit Berserk Bewitchment Bloodline, one bit Battery Builder, all for badass beatdowns! All this brouhaha is to say we’re building and buffing the beauteous brat known as BB.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet here!

Next up: Hacking the planet? I think you misheard.

Race and Background

The evil AI from the moon BB is about as Custom a Lineage as they come, giving you +1 Dexterity and Intelligence. She also comes packed with Darkvision to dunk on those foolish human eyes and the Lucky feat to tip the scales in your favor by re-rolling attacks, checks, or saves that directly involve you three times per long rest. Games aren’t fun if they’re fair, silly!

Again, Evil AI from The Moon isn’t going to be a background you can find in most games of D&D. That being said, she certainly likes to put on shows of life and death, so once you get past their obsession with fire I’d bet she’d find a lot of common ground with Rakdos Cultists. This gives her proficiency with Acrobatics and Performance so you too can twirl around on stage and put a little flair into your attacks.

This background also gives you an additional bunch of spells to tack onto your spell lists. When you unlock spellcasting in the first place, you get Fire Bolt, Vicious Mockery, Burning Hands, Dissonant Whispers, and Hellish Rebuke. Your free second level spells are Crown of Madness, Enthrall, and Flaming Sphere. Third level is Fear and Haste, fourth is Confusion and Wall of Fire, and your free fifth level spell is Dominate Person. Don’t look at me like that, how else are you going to keep your daughters in line? BB doesn’t rely on fire that much -yet- but the other spells are absolutely in her wheelhouse. And giving a computer virus a fire wall is just plain funny.

Ability Scores

As a hyper-advanced AI from the future, it’d be a little weird if your Intelligence wasn’t your highest ability score. Your smarts are almost as obvious as how great a kouhai you are, so make your Charisma the next highest. Your Dexterity is pretty good too- that outfit probably isn’t armor, at least not in the practical sense. Your Constitution isn’t too bad either. The saying goes, “if it bleeds, you can kill it,” but you’re made out of data so you don’t bleed at all. Your Strength isn’t anything to write home about, but you can warp reality, so why would you need to lift? Dump Wisdom. You’re not exactly the most stable person in Chaldea.

Class Levels

1. Artificer 1: First level artificers get Magical Tinkering, so now you can put minor magical effects into tiny objects. Most of them probably aren’t that practical, but every event shop needs some junk.

You can also cast Spells this level, using your Intelligence to prepare and cast them. On top of your rakdos spells, you can use Lightning Lure and Mage Hand to mess with people. You can also prepare first level spells, like Identify to scan enemies for their status effects, Tasha’s Caustic Brew to re-enact your extra attack card, and Cure Wounds for a bit of maintenance on your spirit origin. It takes work to look this good, y’know!

Finally, you get proficiency with Constitution and Intelligence saves, as well as Arcana and Medicine. You were built to look after humans, and you obviously know a lot about tech.

2. Artificer 2: Second level artificers can Infuse Items to turn dumb ol’ mundane objects into magical objects! You learn four infusions right now, but you can only keep two of them available at a time, and you can swap them out between long rests. Really lean into it, make the rest of the party fight for the affection of their kouhai.

As far as your actual infusions go, Mind Sharpener is a great one for spellcasters, letting them force their concentration to stick even if they fail a save as a reaction. You can also use an Enhanced Arcane Focus to make your spells even stronger. For magic items, the classic Bag of Holding is always in fashion, and Sending Stones will help bring party communication into the 21st century.

3. Sorcerer 1: Being smart is nice, but it’s time to make things a bit more.. interesting. As a sorcerer, you get another Spell list that uses your Charisma to cast. You also get your own home game version of BB slots thanks to your Wild Magic Surge. When you cast a sorcerer spell that uses a spell slot, your DM can make you roll a d20. On a one, you then have to roll on the wild magic surge table.

If that’s not wacky enough for you, the Tides of Chaos can speed things up. Once per long rest, you gain advantage on one attack, check, or save of your choice. Your DM can also force you to roll on the WMS table when you’d normally get a WMS to recharge it.

You get cantrips like Friends, to make friends with Senpai; Message, to send calls to Senpai; Light, to help with Senpai’s dumb human eyes; and Minor Illusion, for some cheap holograms. For first level spells, Mage Armor makes that outfit less of a tactical issue, and Tasha’s Caustic Brew frees up some prep slots for artificer spells.

4. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers are Fonts of Magic, giving you sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level each long rest. Right now they can be used to refill spell slots, or you can empty spell slots to get more points.

You can also cast Magic Missile for some caster balls. I know you’re not a caster, but you do run around with a magic wand, it’s not that wild a concept.

5. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get second level spells, as well as Metamagic to make them a little bit more you flavored. Distant Spell doubles the range of a spell (or gives it a range of 30′ if it’s touch), while Subtle Spell lets you cast a spell without all that vocal or somatic component nonsense. Why waste time chanting when you could spend it narrating?

You can also cast Enhance Ability to alter your data in favor of one kind of skill checks, gaining advantage on them for the duration. You also double your carrying capacity for strength checks, avoid small falling damage with dexterity checks, or gain temporary HP with constitution checks.

6. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma to make Senpai notice you. And also to make your sorcerer spells harder to avoid.

You can also cast Prestidigitation to make more small magical effects, or Alter Self to further improve your being. When you cast it, you pick one of three modes. Mode 1 gives you a swimming speed and the ability to breathe underwater. Mode 2 lets you change appearance as an action for the duration, and Mode 3 lets you grow Natural Weapons that are magical against resistances. Honestly Mode 3′s a bad matchup for you, but you’re an independent AI who don’t need no humanity, I’ll let you make your own decisions.

7. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get Magical Guidance, letting you spend 1 sorcery point to re-roll a failed skill check. You can also cast third level spells like Dispel Magic to bonk Kiara back into horny jail. Probably. We haven’t built her yet, still not entirely sure how that’s going to work.

8. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level wild mages can Bend Luck, using their reaction and 2 sorcery points to add or subtract 1d4 to another creature’s attack, check, or save. You love playing games, but more in the ‘dungeon master’ sense.

You can also cast Clairvoyance to set up your very own BB channel studio wherever you’ve been before.

9. Artificer 3: Third level artificers can always find the Right Tool for the Job, creating whatever tools you might need over the course of a short rest. Thanks to being an Artillerist, you can also bring one of those weird geometric enemies from the CCC event to the battlefield in the form of an Eldritch Cannon, creating a freestanding small cannon or a handheld tiny one. They’re pretty customizable, but they all come in one of three flavors. Flamethrowers deal AoE fire damage, Force Ballistas deal single-target force damage and throw people around, and Protectors give out temporary HP.

You also get the freebie spells Shield and Thunderwave. 

10. Artificer 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Intelligence for better artificer spells.

11. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells, like Ego Whip! If your target fails an intelligence save, they get disadvantage on all attacks, checks, and saves, and it can’t cast spells. At the end of each turn it can try to make another intelligence save (still at disadvantage), but tbh most creatures aren’t that bright compared to you.

12. Sorcerer 8: Another ASI already? Bump up your Charisma to make it even harder to break out of your ego whip, and also grab Banishment so you can deal with that giant pain in your behind, Kingprotea (note: this level description does not contain the opinions of fateandphantasms. fateandphantasms does not condone any kind of Kingprotea hating.)

13. Sorcerer 9: Fifth level spell time! Grab Creation so you can warp reality and make pretty much whatever you might need out of thin air!

14. Artificer 5: Fifth level artillerists can make Arcane Firearms this level, adding 1d8 to artificer spell damage cast from a specific focus. This also means that your artificer spells and sorcerer spells can finally come out of the same wand, though I doubt most DMs would care to correct you before now.

You can also cast the freebie spells Scorching Ray and Shatter now, since you can learn 2nd level artificer spells. Use Heat Metal if you’re feeling sadistic, Invisibility or Spider Climb for some hacks, or grab Lesser Restoration for some cursed cupid cleansing.

15. Artificer 6: Your Tool Expertise doubles the proficiency of all tool-based checks, but you also get two more infusions, and one more concurrent infusion to boot! A Spell-Refueling Ring will give you more energy to deal with your many, many, problem children, while a Radiant Weapon will just make your wand shinier. Not that it’s a bad reason to grab it.

16. Artificer 7: At seventh level, you can speed up your processors to have Flashes of Genius, using your reaction to add your intelligence modifier to an ability check or saving throw nearby. You can use this Intelligence Modifier times per long rest.

17. Sorcerer 10: Your newest metamagic option lets you twin spells, turning a one-target spell into a two target spell. Now you can keep both your daughters under control at once with one casting of Dominate Person!

You also get the Mending cantrip, because let’s be real your outfit probably doesn’t look as good as it did 17 levels ago. Finally, you get the spell Far Step to bip and bop all over the place as you see fit. Remember, if you teleport off camera it’s not cheating!

18. Sorcerer 11: Eleventh level sorcerers get sixth level spells, like Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise! If you’re going to wear a nurse outfit, it might as well come with superpowers. You get immunities to certain damages and conditions, you can fly, your AC goes up, and your weapon attacks use your spellcasting modifier, are magical, and you can attack twice per action. Ramming a giant needle into somebody never felt so right!

19. Sorcerer 12: For your last ASI, grab the Tough feat. All these sorcerer levels have not done your HP total any favors.

20. Sorcerer 13: Your capstone level nets you a seventh level spell, so grab Plane Shift so you can finally escape the Mooncell and show Senpai all the hard work you’ve done!

Pros:

You have a ton of ways to cheat at dice, manipulating the world to always work in your favor. Re-roll dice with magical guidance and lucky, or just stick a finger on the scale with bend luck and flash of genius. Either way, your party will be thankful to have you.

You also make a decent variety caster thanks to the variety of technological goodies at your disposal. Support team communication with sending stones, spy on people with clairvoyance, create whatever the party might need with creation, or just blow people up with thunderwave and your eldritch cannon. You come packing a little bit of everything.

You’re particularly good at shutting down one or two opponents, with Ego Whip destroying their ability to do much of anything, Enthrall and Fear keeping you their main focus, or Banishment shoving them out of existence entirely.

Cons:

Those wild magic surges can bite you in the ass just as much as they help you, so try to make sure you don’t spin a bankrupt on the BB slots. Seriously though they can straight up kill your entire party at level 1. Don’t be unlucky.

Having a bit of everything means you aren’t focused on any one thing. Builds like Ishtar and -god help me- Mephistopheles?? beat you in magic damage, Scheherazade and Kogil beat you for utility, and Medea Lily and Irisviel beat you for healing. It must be nice to have so many senpais though!

Trying to keep on top of all those checks and saves means you’ll burn through your sorcery points really fast, so just... don’t push yourself too hard, you might not like what happens when you run out of power.

[liria10]

Favorite Benny books?

Ok so. Tumblr crashed as I was typing this on mobile. I am retyping it on desktop cause fuck this site, and I Have Opinions, and my friend I will let you hear them or so help me!

.... This got. Really. Really long. I am adding a read more to spare you guys from that.

Ok so! As a preface, I haven't read many VNAs with Benny in it, and of her solo books, I still have 2 of her Legion books to read.

I'm going to (re)start this with the VNAs!

Love and War: a very classic answer perhaps, but it is a really good introduction for Benny, even if the book has its flaws and can certainly show its age nowadays. Cornell absolutely nails her right off the bat, and from her very first page, Benny is just a character that keeps you interested. Not only does she work great as a counter to both Seven and Ace, but she also brings a breath of life to the whole range the way only a prose character can.

Plus, I think one of the greatest successes of that book lies in how Benny appears as a rounded and flawed person from the beginning. She’s not your ordinary girl dragged to a whirlwind of adventure and an universe of wonders, but an older, adult woman, with a good chunk of life experience and adventures already behind her, and while setting foot inside the TARDIS opens up a new and unexpected chapter in her life, it does also remain just that. A chapter. Benny had a life before the Doctor, and from that moment, while noone could have predicted it then, she would have one after him as well.

The Left-Handed Hummingbird: I just finished that one last week, so it’s obviously both fresh in my mind, and one I'm thinking highly of at the moment. Well I mean, it’s Orman! Or course I love it. She really is great at writing both intricate, large stories, and yet focusing on the personal, on the human side of things. And I find that this book does a great job at putting benny in the role of the grounding presence both for ace and the doctor, as well as exploring how time traveling as they do, and dealing with seven’s schemes can be frustrating for benny. That whole tardis team is a mess, and none of these people really… work well together, but it’s because they’re so dysfunctioning that they’re fascinating, and orman absolutely nails that.

Theater of War: A very different type of book, it is honestly a fun romp, and it has Benny being an actual archeologist, down to dealing with the academia side of things. And it’s the little things, but I love it when Benny books remember that about her tbh? Also, it has some nice theater theming, and well, as an introduction for brax, it certainly works well! It’s one of those VNAs that I think is just fun. A well crafted story with good takes on the characters, that’s always enjoyable to me!

Return of the Living Dad: Orman again?? What a surprise! But frankly, I love how this book is all about Benny and her daddy issues, be it with the Doctor or well, her actual dad. Between that, her budding marriage with Jason, and finding out so many old wounds reopened, I just. Really love how raw Benny can be under Orman’s pen? How underneath it all, she still has that side of the scared orphan that lost both parents to a war she was far, far too young to ever comprehend, and how that just left her rebelling against the world in general, and resenting deep down her parents for that abandon. I mean, it’s neat character stuff, but it can very easily be written as dull & cliche shitte you know? And Orman really… always get down to the heart of it all, and boi does it make for some great reading.

The Dying Days: It’s a very fun book, and well, technically works as the first round for Benny as the lead woman after all! It’s a joy all throughout, triumphant where it needs to be, and managing to both celebrate the Doctor and what he brought to the VNAs, as well as setting up the stage for Benny to go on to her own range. It’s basically one last run of the old team, and well. I do love Benny & Eight, and yes I am blaming Parkin for it. Also, big brained take to have Eight give her Wolsey because I love that cat and Benny deserves a cute kitty in her life. We all do.

Ok!! Now on to the NA, and my personal favorite era!

Dragon’s Wrath: It’s a fun one!! I do really like the story being centered again on archeology first and foremost, and it’s a good romp that has some really good take on Benny. Especially the trial scenes, I love how those one get down to Benny as someone who despite everything, loves history, and cares very very deeply about the artifacts she uncovers. Also, it introduces brax as a mainstay of the dellah era, and does so in a rather nice way. Overall, a very enjoyable book!

Beyond the Sun: Benny & students stranded on a planet with mystery to uncover, that’s already a fun premise, and then throw in all the various queer themes present, especially with Emile, and the whole scene of them all in drag performing on top of a bus, and it’s just a rather good book. Plus, I love how it mirrors the whole VNA Doctor mantra, except with a very Benny twist. Sometimes cruel, sometimes cowardly, but trying her damndest to do good. And well, that’s just Benny isn’t it? I always harp on about the very heart of Benny being her humanity, and if there’s something that book highlights, it’s that.

Deadfall: Jason takes center stage in this one, and well, I do really love Jason. It’s overall a fun book with some nice lore ideas, and I love how it works Cwej in the whole Dellah setting. Also, at least it’s a story with Jason in the lead that doesn’t end in utter tragedy, and that’s always nice!

Tempest: Ok so. That book isn’t great. The story’s cliche, the characters aren’t the best, and the plot itself? Forgettable, it’s another in the list of “sort of base under siege story in the dellah era” which you’d think wouldn’t be super common and yet! So… why am I listing it here? Cause the concept of the planet!! The idea of a world of storms and disaster, run through via a blind train as the only means of transport? The fantastic animal life described in it??? That book left an impression of me, and that’s not something I can say of all of the others.

The Medusa Effect: … Justin Richard writes a good Benny. Like, legit. I love how that one really works with the setting & history of Dellah, and gives further information on the planet’s involvement with the Dalek war. Plus, it also got some really, really nice aesthetics. I am soft for good aesthetics ok? Benny, dancing with a skeleton on the deck of an old spaceship made to look like a cruise liner in an hallucination/dream sequence type of thing? Sign me right up!

Beige Planet Mars: That one is a blast. I remember just, absolutely loving it when I read it tbh. Between the overall description of Mars, the further Lore Implication of the Mars invasion & all that, as well as it basically being one last round of more… Normal dellah books before everything goes to hell? It’s one i’d highly recommend if you want to have a good time.

Tears of the Oracle: Probably my favorite of that whole range? (apart from dead romance, which I am not counting as a benny book) I love just, how much overall… feelings isn’t quite the words i’m looking for, but i can’t think of a better way to put it… there is throughout the book? It was thought to be the end of the NA as it was written and well, that shows. I love how it weaves the whole mystery of “what happened to that legendary archaeologists?” with the whole side of what’s basically some of the only survivors from dellah going on one last round of discovery. The status quo of the range was destroyed quite a few books before that one, but imo, it’s there that they take the time to stop for a bit, and just. Deals with what that means in actuality. And ngl, I love the entire sequence of Benny & Brax walking through the wreckage of what used to be their home, it’s a scene that works really, really well.

And well, it does a great job at setting up the future as well after all! Yes, there’s still 3 books after it, but when you look at where Big Finish picked up… they went for what Tears of the Oracle was setting up. It really makes the transition flows well between those two, unlike my rambling for a full paragraph before going to “here’s the BF books I like”

The Doomsday Manuscript: A very good start for the range! Not only does it set up the whole collection, but it also introduces the Fifth Axis as a major threat, and does so in a wonderfully well paced book that keeps you hooked throughout. I like how it also sets up Jason’s loss as something Benny is still suffering over, as well as how she hasn’t lost hope in finding him again. Plus frankly, it’s also a really good story.

The Glass Prison: You’d think that for a book where Benny spends the majority of it in prison and not very active due to being near the end of her pregnancy, not much would happen, but the way Jacqueline Rayner builds up an atmosphere of unease, mistrust and a genuine disturbing ambiance throughout the book is just, fantastic.

Genius Loci: This book. This book!!! Ben Aaronovitch writes an absolutely powerful story of Benny as a young woman, lost and finding herself faced with far more responsibility than she ever thought possible. The way he writes the whole mystery, while also making Benny as a 20yo not only believable, but quite distinct from Benny as the adult we’ve all come to know and love is just. So good. My main grip with this book is how abruptly it ends, and how we’ll never get the sequel. I want to read Terra Incognita and more of Benny slowly finding herself damn it!

Dead Men Diaries: Just like Doomsday Manuscript, does a great job at establishing the collection as well as the recurring cast. I really enjoy most of the stories in it, and I think BF started out so strong on those books srsly!

A Life in Pieces: I love it so much. It’s pure brax at his most manipulative, and for such petty reasons. I really like how it both deals with the aftermath of the Fifth Axis occupation, as well as the repercussions Brax’s schemes have for the people living on the collection. Also, it’s just 3 very good novellas in a row that build up to something more, and I always like seeing that.

Nobody’s Children: That book has the best Draconian story in the entirety of doctor who and related. Like, yeah just that. It’s also nice to see the fallout of the Mim/Draconian war. It’s one I didn’t expect a lot out of, and frankly, I ended up really loving it.

The Vampire Curse: The middle novella is one I absolutely hated, but the other two are really good, and mixing benny and vampires is just, very fun. Also!! Predating the Predator is in it, and it is a really good take on vampires in a science fiction setting that also has some nice creep factor as well, and manages to be both a good vampire story, and a good sci fi story, which isn’t always an easy balance to find.

Life During Wartime: It’s a surprisingly hard hitting anthology about living under a fascist regime, and the compromises you have to make, the personal sacrifices and small rebellions. Honestly, there’s a lot I love about it, but certainly one of my favorite moment, is when Benny, having to dine with one of the officers, miss jones & jason, sees that the officer is nearly on to her hiding peter away, and that split second moment of “if I have to, I am willing to kill everyone in this room to protect my son” before he just laughs it off, it’s a lot of tiny moments that build up to a really well done ambiance tbh.

Something Changed: While it did the terrible, terrible sin of introducing Doggles to the world, I really love the concept of every chapter after the first being a different split universe, and how they’re all spiraling more & more out of control. It’s got some really good stories in between too, though they can also be rather hit & miss. An aspect I love about it too is how impactful Wolsey’s death ends up being.

Present Danger: That one is fun, I love how it’s basically everyone vs the deindum, a situation slipping more and more out of control, mixed with some neat stuff one the deindum’s whole temporal deal. It’s again a bit hit & miss, but it’s still a blast, and as the last anthology of the collection era, it does send it all off with a bang.

Welp. Far, far too many words later, and here we are!!! I love Benny a lot ngl, and I genuinely think that prose is the medium best suited for her. I have been rather disappointed with the more modern books, I find them far more bland than what I personally expect from Benny but ah well. Can’t always get everything.

And while it’s neither a book, nor even an official story in any mean, the fanfic “Sepelio” that’s an Hannibal au set in the Dellah era is great, and the benny story I have been enjoying the most lately. I would be remiss not to at least mention it!

[jiminrings]

hi!! can i request a drabble of new personaltrainer!jungkook training a pretty awkward (and kinda chubby/thicc..?) y/n and its super fluffy and aaaa,, i love your writing aaaa 🥺

cloud nine

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: y/n finally gives into jimin the gymbro’s thoughtful push, and jungkook is sO close to barking back to his chihuahua the moment he gets home :D // gif isn’t mine but look at it it’s so cRISPY!!!

notes: thank you sO much babie!! here you go :D

okay that’s iT!!

you totally need something new in your life

you need a change of pace or whatever that’s called

all the days you’ve been having are all blurring into the same one and it just makes you feel so stagnant

the only difference you could point out are the sleep shirts you wear and that’s ONLY if you don’t try to repeat wearing them

you now have a list of people you’re in awe of

people who genuinely and unironically consider friends the tv show as a cinematic masterpiece because nOAH FENCE how do they manage to get entertained by laugh tracks and the same skit over and over again

ok maybe your slander towards it increased because hoseok (the guy you have a sorta crush on) likes it and he leaves you on read and sometimes doesn’t even open your message and thEN you’d see his instagram stories and they’re all just???? friends???? what was the reason

and second, jimin!

jimin’s your best friend and that just makes you awed even more because you don’t even know how the two of you got close

jk it was when your friends forced you to come with them at this inflatable water park and you were sCARED and so he held your lifevest and was like

“hEY do you wanna take this in the same pace that i’m doing it?? tbh i just wanna get back to my mimosas but my friends paid too expensively for this”

<3 he has been the guardian of your heart since <3

jimin’s just so well-paced and organized and knows how to have his fun that his daily life doesn’t seem like a mindless routine

you are actively YEARNING for that kind of lifestyle

and right now it just seems like the stars are aligning for you and are practically made for your existence alone!!

jimin’s a gymbro

he is the living breathing talking definition of gymbro and gymrat and gymgod or whatever it is

.....

.......

.... gymin if u will ....

okAy then

but he wasn’t the aggressive type of gymbro, not at all!

he’s a total natural!!

like he’s ripped but not excessively and exaggeratedly ripped

he doesn’t flex but the muscle definition and the physique are just wHew exquisite!!

he doesn’t talk in protein powder lingo but you aren’t surprised to see a giant jug of it inside his cupboard!!! after all he’s proud to say that it’s practically all-skill!!!

and to top it off.,.,

:D

okay so jimin takes off his shirt right

the two of you are neighbors and you often come into each other’s places and it feels like home too

and you aren’t complaining!! you know that he runs a little hot that normal and you wouldn’t want him overheating

but he has this large tattoo on his rib that reads nevermind and it’s so cOOL and it just makes the gears in your head go creak creak because aha your best friend is the blueprint huh

you’re not surprised!! you really aren’t!!

after all, why would you be surprised out of all the things above when you already know that he owns a goddamn GYM??

the only regret that you have is not meeting him sooner :((

yeah sure pjm athletics does have a nice ring to it bUT WHAT ABOUT PARK’S GYMIN

you’ve always been.,., a lil curious ok

i mean your goddamn friend is the ownEr of a really well-known and well-praised gym!! how could you not??

you don’t wanna mooch off from him though no matter how much he offers you free classes and stuff

he always brings you home extra merch and energy drinks that you’re sure you can now have a tap for gatorade

he’s not dENSE!! he sees how you look at him whenever he does push-ups on your floor or when he does planks like no big deal

there’s this thought at the back of your head that y’know..,., what if THIS was the thing that’s gonna be your change of pace

lmao you’re looking for hardship basically

jimin’s finally had it when you sigh for the eleventh time while he’s doing pull-ups

you want to spend your own money and he knows you won’t accept any of his offers!!

that’s it he needs to be smart about this!!!

“woah jimin holy sHIT you’re having a 50% off your membership??? and it comes with a trainer too??? are you serious right now???”

:)))

he can now sleep in peace knowing his editing job for this flyer has paid off and he’s passed the “y/n’s not believing me” stage :))

if it wasn’t established enough there really isn’t a sale lol

here you are then,.,.

wearing workout leggings that jimin deemed to be reAlly great and it made quite a hefty dent in your wallet but you trust his judgement so ok

you’re not in the mood to wear anything besides jimin’s black dri-fit shirt because you really don’t wanna attract attention as the newbie

this is good!! you now have a gym membership AND a personal trainer!!

you dON’T exactly need them but you feel you just do y’know!! there’s no harm in trying :D

you didn’t want jimin to be your personal trainer and he basically sULKED for a whole week

it’s not a him problem!! it’s a you problem!!!

you know that it’s a given that the trainers shOuld be excellently to a degree to actually train someone else

but it’s now dawning in you that HE’S the owner and he’s so intimidatingly good!!! you would look like a raw egg that’s just dumped haphazardly into a pot and he’s the perfectly-boiled egg :((

oh my god

jungkook feels like he’s gonna throw up with how nervous he is

it’s his first day as a personal trainer!! :D

he’s half-excited and half-terrified because holy shit fIRST of all this gym was hard to apply to in the first place

everyone’s flocking it because:

a) it’s really great

b) even greater benefits for the employees

c) the pay is hUGE

d) the equipment?? the morals?? the testimonials?? the owner?? the whole thing??? FANTASTIC

and second omg jungkook won’t admit it to anyone but uHm he’s kinda scared ok

he’s not the type of person that’s comfortable with ordering people around??? even if that’s technically his job???

like what if his first-ever client is a guy like jason momoa and that guy’s a fucking UNIT for sure

imagine hIM telling jASON MOMOA to give him three sets x twenty reps of push-ups

g-gulp

“or i can do it for you, i-if you want?”

he’s bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet and swinging his arms around forward and backward to make them clap quietly

“there, you’re all set!! i already filled up all the forms for you the moment i gave you the flyer!!”

“but-“

“your trainer’s... not me. but he’s uh, what’s his name again, jungkook!! what does he look like again — oh right!! i remember!!”

“jimin-“

“he should be the guy with the big doe eyes!! has a lot of dangly earrings!! if he’s not wearing a sweater then he should be the one who has some tattoos!!”

“no jimin-“

“off you go!! i’ll be bouncing around but i’ll keep an eye on you, don’t worry!! okay now go and i’ll let you have a sip of my gatorade even if we have the same drink :D”

.....

whew

there goes nothing then

you’re about to keep your duffel bag close as a reason to stall to getting to the locker room but jimin’s already one step ahead and snatched it from you

you didn’t even get your towel :((

it had a little blue cloud embroidered at the middle of it and it’s your Emotional Support Towel by default

you’re kinda nervous since there’s some pairs of eyes on you because after all they just saw you have the most carefree conversation with the owner they’re a lil scared to talk to

you’re wringing your hands together as you try to spot this jungkook with jimin’s descriptions and-

oh

oH

O H

jungkook looks so ????

wow?????

he’s gorgeous like that is nOt up for debate

he looks so fresh?? effortless?? handsome???

jungkook looks like he smells like baby powder and freshly-washed sheets

the baby powder that you’re tempted to snORt because it smells so good which was the one you’d put on your chest bc boob sweat and to prevent ur thighs chafing

he had to do a double-take on you because the first time he glanced at this walking person he immediately shut down

like when something looks sO pretty that you have to look away for a second because you literally can’t take it

oR like when you have this favorite scene of a movie and you have to physically pause it before rewinding and doing that for another six times

“are you perhaps jungkook?? because i’m not surE and-...”

“jungkook i am. i-i aM jeon jungkook!! yes, right, jungkook!!!!!”

holy fuck he’s stopped working

your mouth’s a little parted because you didn’t expect him to go on that lil spiel cLEARLY but omg he’s adorable!!!

if he could punch himself he really would

it’s taking him a second to regroup but you take the initiative to introduce yourself :D

“i’m y/n! you’re my trainer from what they told me :))”

you’re a lil more awkward when it comes to social interactions like these but it looks like you’re acing it when put in front of jungkook

the both of you shake hands and then immediately put it behind your back because wow u just shook the pretty boy’s hand AND it’s not even 8 in the morning yet!!

you haven’t even started the workout portion yet but ur already on fire

( jimin’s looking at the security footage and even HE’S blushing from the secondhand embarrassment jungkook’s brough oh my god )

(( jimin suddenly wishes he could unlearn reading people’s lips ))

“so, what brought you here?”

it’s jungkook who asks but he alsO wants to answer himself to say it’s fate aha :D

he’s getting you to stretches and he’s doing them with you!!

“to be honest?? well there was like a fIFTY percent discount but you already know all of that”

wait

what now

“a sale? what-...”

there’s an abrupt noise that goes through the whole gym and it makes the both of you flinch and you even yelP

if you see jimin lifting a 100lbs barbell only to throw it down and cut off jungkook from speaking THEN MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

“you okay?”

jungkook asks you quietly and taps your shoulder and you’re about to faint right then and there of how you met like then minutes ago and he’s cONCERNED

the focus on today was flexibility plus easing you into working out!!!

stretches are the next best thing to working out and it’s a win-win combo bc you’re flexible aND you’re basically exerting effort = kind of a workout apparently

the bit of reaching your toes then doing a downward dog and the upward-facing dog right after to hear that satisfying grunt of your joints is a LITTLE awkward because jungkook’s looking at you

jungkook wants to look away but in the same time he can’t will himself to

one because he’s a young wide-eyed attracted man and twO he’s the trainer omg he needs to look at you!!!

“o-okay! just a set of jack jum — jUMPING JACKS!!! jumping jacks and we could start :)))”

no one told you.,.,.

no one told you where you should look when you’re doing jumping jacks

you can’t look downwards because that’ll throw you off and you can’t look up either because why?? what??? WHO are you seeking up there????

looking straight ahead is kinda awkward

the safe answer was everywhere at once according to you

you sneak a look at jungkook and you almost choke in your own spit with how handsome he still looks

you’re not gonna cope up with that fact probably ever

jungkook’s feeling a lil sweaty now because uHm he shouldn’t really be doing this with you technically

it’s usually a trainer doing it with you for like the first five reps and then letting you do it alone for the rest

but nO he’s doing this with you he doesn’t mind :D

he could feel a bead of sweat by his sideburns and he’s screaming internally to gO the fuck back where it came from

he wants to tear off his hoodie but he doesn’t know if he should since he doesn’t have a shirt underneath!!!

being shirtless to the gym isn’t new but you’re with him and nOW he feels nervous

honestly jungkook would rather overheat than to make you feel uncomfortable

news flash: you want to curl up into a ball and cry about thinking how you’d be sore the next day

you r about to give out and tear up a little bit because fuck this is nOT an introductory workout

you also don’t want to look like a wimp in front of jungkook because that is not a good look for your pride and you’d feel embarrassed for eternity

just two more to go!!

honestly fUCK fire hydrants!!! 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕊?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖???? 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠 𝕒𝕊𝕊!!!

you raise your head because you’re getting dizzy looking down

jungkook’s looking at you and he sees you looking at him and it dOESN’T help the way you look right now

with you sweaty and grumbling under your breath and ur baby hair all over the place and ur eyes unfocused and fix at the same time a-and ur lips parted and-

JESUS LINE UP AT THE DMV RIGHT NOW TAKE THE WHEEL

jungkook’s so nervous and flustered that his limp actually trembles with how hot his cheeks are and he’s rambling out of nowhere

“fire hydrants amirite??? most certainly inspired by dogs and stuff because cooky, my chihuahua, does exactly that when he pees and-...”

THERE’S THAT LOUD BARBELL CLANGING AGAIN

oh my god he should not have said that

jungkook’s beyond mortified wHY DID HE SAY THAT

you look speechless and you aRE

you’re just nodding at him with a tight-lipped smile and if he knows better that’s because you’re so spent and a little light-headed and less off from his nervous rambling

planks,,, just planks,,, the final bit of it all

you don’t wanna get dizzy at the last stretch so you’re trying your best to not pay attention to the blood rushing to ur head

jungkook’s so distracted with his thoughts that he wordlessly adjusts you

lifts up your core while adjusting your feet closer before pressing his hand to your back and-

aHA FUCK

you now feel like you can run a marathon right after that

jungkook now feels like he can compete in a twenty-hour triathlon

he’s praising you to no end that you did sOOOO good!!! you really did!!!!

meanwhile your face is hot not only from that but also because you’ve endured hardship that felt like hours <3

you’re breathlessly laughing because wHEW you really did do that and wow you’re proud of yourself!!!! it’s not even 10 in the morning!!!

there’s a towel that’s gently patting your face section by section

:)

“you uhm, you didn’t have a towel with you so-“

jungkook pats at your neck to your nape and that’s when it hits that o-OH right i’ll leave you to that

you take the towel with a grin you’re fighting so hard and that’s when you realize that it’s not just a random gym one

but rather it was jungkook’s himself because it’s the same clean one he had in his hands awhile ago!!

you can smell him on it and you make sure to pat your face extra dry because you wouldn’t want to get your face sweaty now would you :D his perfume’s just a bonus, right :D

shouldn’t trainers be the cold and straight to the point ones and immediately leave right after you’re all done????

..... inch resting

“oh my gOD — mr. jimin sir-nim min jimin-nIM!!”

jungkook has the fright of his life when his boss appears from nowhere by his side

jimin laughs at how frazzled this guy is lmao but anyways he came here for you (as if he hasn’t been supervising from afar the whole time)

“want me to give you a ride home or?”

kook’s a little lost and he might just cry as he starts to think that oh wait a second are you guys-

“he’s my best friend.”

you whisper under your breath towards him and he unknowingly sighs in relief

“well did you get here using your jeep or your vespa???”

jimin has this jeep he passionately calls chimmy the jeep and he has a knack for naming things with a ring on it ok

and the other was a cream-colored vespa he bought like six months ago

he learned how to ride the bike a year ago and he was immediately let’s get this to the next level idc i’m getting a vESPA!!!

you have an iRRATIONAL fear of vespas

you’re okay with big bikes and regular motorcycles!!! in fact you find them less threatening than jimin’s motorcycle

the little wheels scare you and it’s just so??? it looks so bite-sized wHY does it look like that???? it looks like you could breathe an extra breath to your right and the vespa would steer to the right

ugh you hate his motorcycle sO bad

“well don’t you hAte public transport when you’re tired and all that???”

yikes you did

it’s true!! you’d call him to pick you up because the bus ride hits harder when you’ve had a long day and u feel every bump in the road possible

“i have a big bike!”

jungkook chimes in and he even raises his hand and that’s when he shuts up when he realizes his mistake

“no one asked mhmm i’m sorry jimin-nim sir hYung-nim”

your eyes widen as it sinks in you that oh my god he mIGHT be as into you as you are with him and that’s so ???? that’s such a heartwarming concept you can’t believe

jungkook has the same big brain moment and he takes your widened eyes as a signal to keep talking

“i have TWO helmets! but uhm one of them is for kooky and he’s a chihuahua, wait i already said that, so that means it’s just a tINY helmet i ordered from amazon but it’s okAy i can wear it!!! b-but i’m not forcing you or anything that i should take you home o-or no offense to mr. jimin-nim sir i am NOT underestimating you or-“

surprisingly, jimin doesn’t hate the idea of you and jungkook

ah he should probably adopt a dog and name them jupiter or sth,,, you and koo look like you’re gonna end up anyways

“okay. just bring her home in one piece.”

he’s oddly calm and that also makes YOU confused

jungkook isn’t confused however because the moment you turn, jimin mouths to him in korean and the rough translation was hurt her and i’ll kill you :D

you nodded your head and that meant he’s iNDEED taking you bome

he starts throwing things in his duffel bag (and he should still be in the gym but jimin jus gave him a free pass) and he’s wordlessly carrying yours too!!

he could feel your fist holding the back of his hoodie and jungkook just feels at peace :’’’)

wearing a ridiculous miniature helmet for dogs on top of his head that won’t do shit is tOTALLY worth it

[gayestnerdsinfiction]

3, 13, 23 x

3. what makes you love writing?

this is a difficult one lol i'm at a weird place right now where i am very frustrated with writing but generally speaking i love being able to make the things that i want to read and explore the kinds of characters and themes that don't always make it into more mainstream media. i think being able to take something from my head and put it on a page to share with others is really exciting and it fulfills my need to create

13. describe your writing style

ooh inchresting i would say i am a very dialogue heavy writer i come from the land of playwriting where stage directions and exposition are strictly practical so i lean towards sparse descriptions. i also really focus on characters more than plots if you've ever read any of my longfics u will know that i don't have a good handle on plot structure but i think i have more fun working really hard on characterization and then throwing that character into a situation to see how they act

23. what do you do to engage with your projects that isn't actually writing/how much does that play a role in the development of your work?

it kind of depends on what i'm working on/how long it takes me to finish it tbh. sometimes i'll make pinterest boards or playlists if i have a specific aesthetic that i'm going for or i find like a specific object or setting or something that i want to translate into the story. i also do a lot of daydreaming and like acting out little scenes bc sometimes that helps me figure out whether a line of dialogue or action is gonna pan out the way i want or if i'll get stuck somewhere because a lot of the time i'll do a dialogue exchange or something that takes on a life of its own and then takes me to a completely different story point than i wanted it to so sometimes just talking thru those ideas like it's a little improv helps me decide if it's a viable direction to go in

[the--highlanders]

tagged by @penny-anna, thank you!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

142!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

473,453... hopefully I’m on track to hit 500,000 by the end of the year! like obvs it’s not really about the word count & when I’m writing I’m not thinking that I have to make things longer (tho I think my fics have been getting naturally longer lately? I think I’m spending more time on descriptions and scene-setting. which I like but which def hasn’t been a conscious choice) BUT I am using word count goals to stave off the temptation to count kudos and notes & then get anxious about that. sir that is my emotional support ao3 word count.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

the only fandom I’ve properly posted stuff for is dr who... if you go back far enough in my main blog there might be like, 2 sh*rlock fics on my main blog. wouldn’t recommend it tho I was still in high school when I wrote them GFDJHS

I did write for both sh*rlock and torchwood tho. also warrior cats when I was quite a bit younger. & teeechnically my first fanfic was for the saddle club. but I was like, 3. so I didn’t know what a fanfic was. I was just writing a ‘book’ about the horses.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(excluding timetracks because it’s not a fic to me, it’s a collection, I only put it in one ‘fic’ so I wouldn’t have to come up with individual titles for everything in it gjdhfks)

- stones

- tenth time lucky

- coincidences

- lucky guess

- amber

which is. an interesting selection gdfjkg

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! I don’t get that many so it’s doable. I do need to get better at answering them quickly though jkdf I am very small and a little bit shy and people are very nice

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

oo idk maybe longing for a time that never came? (no idea why I called it that ghdfk. it’s kind of pretentious for something that never had any rhyme or reason to it). because like. are they going to survive? idk!!!

(would also like to plug this art @ettelwenailinon made for that fic because I love it and also can’t believe it’s four years old??? hello????)

more recently I think it’s the kirkyard (which is a title I actually like!! I really like this fic actually) because two can’t do any more than get jamie out of the church but jamie doesn’t KNOW and he doesn’t understand why two doesn’t even stop to talk to him & it’s painful imo

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really! I’ve nothing against them, I just don’t tend to write them.

I wouldn’t really class my daemon au as a crossover because like. it’s not really set in the hdm universe, just uses the concept of daemons.

on the other hand I feel like the only crossover I have /is/ pretty niche and a bit wild. lifeboat is a crossover with ark: survival evolved which is very dear to my heart & in my head sits quite nicely with the dr who universe. that fic was SO self-indulgent to write but I loved it. plus the idea of victoria’s dad having THREE scientist friends who went mad in pursuit of godhood is so incredibly funny to me that I forget it isn’t canon

(also the character being referenced in that fic is now voiced by david tennant in-game/will be in the animated series so. gift of prophecy. dfjkhsglfk)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope! like I said everyone has been very nice. the only hate has been from myself gdfhlk

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

don’t read it & don’t write it. just not my thing!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as I know o:

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean it’s two/jamie. I’ve been here for like 6 years. still digging my hole.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

talked about it in more detail in this ask but in terms of two-era stuff I’ve only got one that’s definitely never being finished and another that’s not got a great chance of being finished. & stuff I’ve written for other fandoms is just. look it’s gone gdjksdfdg. I don’t care about my dead sh*rlock wips it isn’t 2014 anymore

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly have no idea??? like I’m not being modest or anything, I genuinely don’t know. I think I can write some funny dialogue sometimes.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’d really like to be better at plotting out longer fics tbh. having coherent plots and carrying through themes and details. people who can introduce an apparently inconsequential detail early in a fic and have it become relevant later in a way that makes you gasp are like, gods to me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m too nervous about getting stuff wrong so I wouldn’t do it unless I felt like I had enough of a grasp of the language to know what I was doing. but I am at a stage where I feel confident having some simple gàidhlig in my fics!! which is nice. I’d really like to be able to write more, and also to be able to write jamie’s dialogue with like. a sense of english as his second language/gàidhlig as his first? like in the occasional turn of phrase or way of putting something. outside of fic I’m super interested in what someone from that period who had gàidhlig as their first language and english as their second language would have sounded like and how they would have spoken.

my absolute dream would be to be able to translate all my fics completely into gàidhlig, but I’m probably years off from that, if I’ll ever be able to do it. I would really love to be able to write fiction in it, that would be a mark of proficiency in the language for me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

kind of answered above!

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

oougkj idk!! I have so many now and honestly I forget about a lot of them.

the selkie au always has a special place in my heart, and I do love doing more historical-based ones, so I’ll say the kirkyard because I was already talking about it. if I can be a know-it-all while writing something I’m usually happy gjhklkh.

tagging @galacticlamps and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh....MUSICAL

as soon as i saw that a hunter x hunter musical from the year 2002 starring the OG 99 VAs existed, i knew i has to see this...so i set out and watched the nightmare of zoldyck (i would later find out that theres ANOTHER musical, which i plan to watch too)

luckily its all on youtube subbed! in 360 quality...oh hell yes lmao

ok i logically knew this was gonna be a musical but seeing the characters singing is like. a lot. THIS IS SO STRANGE 

musical illumi is played by a woman which is interesting. shes got a good voice 

i think they just panned to killua but it was so pixelated that i legitimately could not tell hvbadjkfbjkdsf

i have no idea whats going on vhbajdfhhajsdf theres a bunch of people falling over on stage...i think theyre dying? who are yall 

oh shit backup dancers?

lmao illumi killed the backup dancers rip.

oh that IS killua lol. s/o to the 3 pixels that are visible 

is this gonna be the zoldyck arc but a musical? lmao

OH WAIT IS THAT KURAPIKA AND LEORIO? i cant even tell lmaoooo

i can 100% tell these are fan subs lmaooo i love bad fan subs SO MUCH it makes a viewing experience even better

this is p much just a musical version of the manga/anime so far lmao i love it 

the way theyre spelling zoldyck is. a lot 

is every character gonna get an intro song. how much of this musical is singing and how much of it is dialogue cause theres defs a range w/musicals 

lmao i love gon leorio and kurapikas interactions even here, they rlly feel like two parents being dragged around by their energetic kid 

i cant even see the set at all so im just gonna assume theres like, the gate and all that behind them, but it all just looks like a dark wall to me lmao

i love singing exposition 

HISOKAS IN THIS???????????????????? oh my lorddddd 

OH i see now in the description that hes played by the 99 VA too lmao i love it 

wow musical hisoka rlly b like [writes himself into the zoldyck family arc]

oh here we go w/the song introducing the zoldycks 

damn grandpa got mad flips 

this is. wild 

its especially wild that alluka isnt here bc she like...didnt even exist yet at this point in the story 

zoldyck family sitcom wow 

i see the gon/killua romance is still going strong in the musical 

oh so they did all the training and goin thru the door stuff offscreen lol

this is actually doing a pretty good job expanding on the canon stuff from this arc lol so props. espec w/showing more of killua being scared of illumi 

oooh this is interesting actually, this is like....an AU where illumi is present during this arc, and how that would change things. And Also They Sing 

the zoldycks are so fucked up lmao 

also i feel like theres some ‘early adaptation’ character weirdness going on, like w/the grandpa, who seems much less intense here than in the anime (at least after seeing him in the yorknew arc), and milluki, who seems like a gag character here lmao

oh my god lmao is hisoka here to visit illumi?

the hilarious irony of illumi telling killua that assassins cant have friends, then going to hang out with his good buddy hisoka

kurapika is the only one here with a brain cell (for now) 

ah yes hisoka and illumi doing their nasty murder flirting thing 

HISOKA IS SO NASTYYYY I HATE HIM tho his actor is very good and smarmy

OH its canary!! is there uh. blackface goin on there. i cant actually tell, what with there being only 3 pixels present at any given time

really love how half of this is just the regular arc but with the characters singing abt stuff during it 

the lady playing killuas mom has a rlly good screeching voice jesus lmao 

ohh i love musical fighting so much

the sound fx on kurapikas sticks are cracking me up

butlers got mad cartwheels

oh theyre doing the coin thing! this is so out of order lmao

oh my god i love that theyre doing like, sick dance moves while coin flipping

ah the zoldyck messenger hawk makes an appearance. i love that thats canon and real

the 12 yr old gay romance is REAL even here 

the subs seems to be translated very literally, especially in the songs, so its honestly not clear what theyre even singing about vbsjkdjhfskjfd

gon and killua singing about each other is adorable tbh. also i love how silva asks killua abt his friends and killua is like yeah i made some friends. and then only talks abt gon ahjsduhfabhskdf gayboy 

ok so the zoldyck arc is like, ending, but theres still an hr of musical left so whats even gonna happen lmao. also where did hisoka go

oh no the audio and video arent synced anymore huvbhjadfbhjsakdf

oooh they asked canary to come w/them, thats cool

theyre having a party??? hvbajdsfbhasjkdf

oh shit??? what did zeburo just do to killua??? WHATS GOING ONNN lol this is UNCHARTED TERRITORY 

OH GOD IT WAS ILLUMI. SHOULDVE KNOWNNN

omggg all their formal outfits....everyone cheering wildly at kurapika is cute 

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA DANCING.....

the fact that both killua and gon are taller than kurapika in this is rlly funny 

the idea that the zoldycks are also highly trained ballroom dancers is super hilarious to think about, even moreso when you consider how isolationist they are 

seriously grandpas got mad flips

also i love leorios outfit 

this feels like a filler arc tbh. and i dont mean that in a bad way!

leorio trying to get kurapika to go to the hot springs with him lmaoooo

HVDSJBJFSBFJHS HISOKAS BACK. IN DISGUISE. OH MY GOD 

hisokas stage presence is fantastic gotta say 

damnnnn dad zoldycks got mad flips too. guess it runs in the family 

props to the actors for managing to keep their wigs on while flipping around like that 

its so fuckgin funny thats hisoka just introduces himself as illumis friend, when this whole arc is all about how assassins Cannot Have Friends 

so hisoka is just here trying to get family approval too huh

gon miming a fishing trip was adorable and realistic...sometimes u get skunked and It Just Be Like That

leorio is rlly tryin to shoot his shot w/kurapika and kp is just Not Realizing huh vbjsdufjbsaukjf

wow leorio breakin the fourth wall like that lmao 

wow so illumi hacked killua. rude 

hisoka and illumi are lowkey hilarious in this 

leorio is rlly sending every signal possible to kurapika and kp is like. No 

leorio: killua is a scary murder baby, but also im adopting him 

kurapika singing abt how weird it is having friends after dedicating their life to Revenge(tm) is v on brand 

HISOKA OH BOY 

LMAOOOO HISOKA IS SUCH A FUCKING SNITCH I CANT 

no wonder illumi didnt wanna tell him abt his evil plan lmaoooo he fucked up even telling hisoka that much clearly 

the zoldyck siblings just staring at hisoka in confusion bc How The Fuck Did This Clown Get In Our House hvbhjdksfnjksdf

you can tell the subs are off when the audience is cracking up but you dont even see a joke there lmao

oh my goddd hisoka using bungee gum to make everyone dance is. hilarious 

oh my god synchronized dancing 

HVBSHDJFBJDSKFHBSJ illumi doing a dance routine independent of hisoka and hisoka being like ????? vhbjsdkhfjkjsdnfkj THIS IS HILARIOUS

supremely funny to me how illumi makes such a big point abt assassins not having friends, yet hisoka is announcing himself as illumis friend w/every given opportunity hvbhajdkdfhjskf

this feels so filler arc i love it. thats so charming to me since the 2011 anime doesnt have any filler (from what i can tell?) 

kurapika and leorio rlly feel like killuas parents here lmaooo

this is all dramatic but kurapika keeps repeating what leorio says and its cracking me up hvbajhkdhfbjsk

i lov this fambly 

ah, even in the musical illumi is still such a manipulative bastard 

i feel like the quality just went down EVEN MORE, which i didnt think was even possible hvbhjkdsfskf. at least the audio is synced w/the video again

illumis got a good evil laugh 

this is the exact brand of dramatic angsty filler content that i was hoping for in this lmao i love it 

oooh more zoldycks 

honestly this is more how i expected the zoldyck arc to go in canon hbshjdkujfkjsfdas

dramatic gay filler angst + somewhat incorrect fansubs = perfection

OH SHIT CANARY 

BRO DID SHE JUST DIE???? OMFG

the subs keep calling illumis power ‘spells’ which seems to imply that illumi is some sort of assassin wizard rather than a nen user hvbsudhfkjsdjgf

come to think of it, what point was the manga at when this musical was written? it has to be pretty early on, maybe just as nen was being introduced

gon boutta go ham on illumi...Get His Ass

OHHHH GON DOING THE ICONIC ARM GRAB....ARM GRAB REPRISE

gon doin the good ole reliable shounen ‘punch your friend and yell at them so they snap out of a funk’ lol

i do love how typically shounen this is. friendship speeches! but delivered by SONG!

illumis main hobby is butting in at the worst possible moments 

HISOKAS BACK OH BOY

hisokas playing card blocked killuas hit hvbhjakdhsfjnakdsf thats like in jojo when those manga blocked dios knives 

wow the whole zoldyck squad is here

ooh forbidden zoldyck lore lmao

killua: mom u guys are lame im joining this much cooler family now. bye 

i love how hisoka is just weirdly lurking around for all this zoldyck drama lmao

silva seems like such a bro in this but i feel like hes rlly not like that in canon vhauidfhbsjhdkjfk

oh nope there he goes w/the evil laugh lmaooooo

sorry dude but leorio is his dad now 

gon sniffing zeburo hgbajkdfshbjkdfjnsjdk oh my god

oh hell yeah some synchronized main character finale dancing 

actor showcase! everyone loves kurapika which, same 

ah so the director of this musical also directed the sailor moon musicals, which i didnt know existed but of course that exists...thats funny considering the hxh mangaka is married to the sailor moon mangaka 

anyways that was fun honestly!!!! i fuckgin love musicals, and musical adaptations of non-musical source materials can be like, SO different tonally, but this honestly felt like a fun filler 

it was really interesting seeing something based on the canon from this early on - as i said above, some of the characterizations (like the zoldycks) seems a bit different than we’re used to, but others were spot on - like hisoka only showing up intermittently to sow chaos and do nothing else vhjkadhbfhkjdsfnj im assuming the yorknew arc hadnt happened at this point, but hisokas actions in this musical were hilariously similar to how he acted in the yorknew arc, so, props. 

plus it was cool to see the ‘what if’ factor w/hisoka and illumi also being there, espec illumi interacting w/killua bc its so wildly different from how killua reacts to any of his other family members - hes clearly scared of illumi, in a way he isnt w/anyone else, and that was done well here w/the scene where illumi threatens killua’s friends to get killua to listen to him

also the angst was honestly great, and there was some REALLY sweet wholesome parts that i loved. and the music wasnt half bad either!!

i think the VAs did a great job playing the characters - hisokas VA was especially great (and i really loved kurapika too). gons hair was not very similar to how it looks in the show so it was a little more obvious that he was being played by a grown woman, but still a great performance. 

anyways fun times, i love musicals and this was a fun ole 2000s filler shounen musical adaptation

[the-heart-alchemist]

White Rose Fics of the Month: August

I know I’m a few days late shhh. So anyway, I decided that I can create small lists of fics that I read each month and post them here to share. Since I really only read white rose (lol big surprise) I thought why not just keep adding to my huge master list that I made before? 😆

This will contain fics I continue to read from the master list with updated/longer descriptions or fics that I’ve just recently read through completely and really liked it. Also, these are all Ongoing fics. 

Again, please remember: These are fics that I've chosen from my own preferences and likes, fics that I alone think are great. So, please don’t expect all of these stories to be to your liking. Also, I don’t provide links in this but the fics should be easily found when you look them up. if you have trouble, you can ask me and I can get them for you :)

So, here we go:

IF YOU END UP READING ANY OF THESE, PLEASE LEAVE THE AUTHORS A COMMENT/REVIEW! THEY’RE AMAZING AND ALL OF THESE STORIES DESERVE GOOD MESSAGES FROM YOU! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

Dust Trader by brokenmirmir- This story is an AU about Team RWBY basically being space pirates and it is absolutely a wonderful and exciting read! It’s full of adorable fluffy pining from our favorite pair with lots of action and tension within the whole team. It’s awesome, please go read it! 

First Time at a Second Chance by TheGreatWeissShark- This story is an AU about Weiss and Ruby in a modern type of universe, where Weiss is a young single mother and Ruby is a college student/barista. There’s angst here and there about their individual selves and situations, but also lots of adorable moments, especially ones where Ruby makes Weiss’ daughter happy, which, of course, makes Weiss even happier. Read it! It’s great! 

Dream Theory by mikotyzini- This is a futuristic modern AU story and is a Bees-focused fic, however, believe me when I say that this story has the BEST VERSION of white rose I’ve ever read. Amongst thousands of white rose fics I’ve read in my life, this is my personal favorite of all of them. For the white rose part, they have a forbidden type of relationship in this and so they’re a million times sweeter, more in love when they’re together than I’ve read in any other story. It’s fantastic and they have so many great moments in this, both individually and working together as a team. 

These Fading Colors by MyBestFriendsBestSeller- This story is a tragic Soulmates AU where Weiss and Ruby are soulmates but meet in the worse possible time. However, this fic is full of pure lovely moments between the two despite their situation. It’s plenty angsty but it’s definitely worth the read. Where it is now is hinting at a happy ending! 

Dark Harbors by teleportingoctopi- An amazing action/adventure Pirate AU fic about Ruby being a notorious pirate and Weiss as a rich princess basically and she ends up as a prisoner in Ruby’s ship. I’m sure you can assume what happens next ;) This is full of painful angst and misunderstandings but they overcome them every time that happens. They’re so hopelessly in love in this story it’s pretty funny tbh. Please read it, it’s soooo good. 

Crash Landing by fictionalportal- This is a like a normal modern AU where everyone in RWBY goes to college and they’re all friends. It’s formatted as just text messages from the characters but it's absolutely hilarious and filled with so many genuinely great moments between every character. It’s a fun read!

Darkening Horizons by SwagWizardSupreme-This a canon divergent story set between the earlier volumes where they’re still in Beacon. I honestly feel like this is such an underappreciated story cuz it’s full of really nice Weiss and Ruby bonding. There’s even nice bee bonding in this too. Also, in the recent chapters, Weiss gets to see some of Ruby’s scars and they have small intimate moment ;) READ IT!

A Scattered Plate by skull025- This a story that was recommended for me to read and thank god too because this is such an amazing story. It’s an AU where Weiss is the head chef of a restaurant and Ruby becomes her new sous chef. It’s filled with some incredible banter and really forward flirting sometimes that make you wanna scream lol also, awesome food is here. I mean c’ mon, really good white rose content AND food? What else would you want?? 

Painting the Town by bandiits- This was also recommended to me and omg how have I actually never read this before?? This is so cute and fun to read! It’s about how Ruby and Weiss’ friends get them handcuffed together and the only way they can escape is to go on a date set by the said friends who set them up lol It’s super funny and awesome! Please read it!

Of Roses and Mirrors by DerpySlurpyTheDerpMaster- This story is another recommendation to me, and is basically an alternate version of how Weiss and Ruby reunited in volume 5 and how they interact after that. This one is such a sweet and tender read. If you want some wholesome white rose content, you should read this. 

The Fate We Choose by HopeOfMorning910- OKAY OMG THIS ONE THO! This one was such a surprise for me in terms of quality. Like holy hell there’re only 2 chapters in this so far but oh my god. It’s soooo good. This is like a magical modern AU where Weiss is a vampire and Ruby is a Fae. The magical rules and properties in this story are like super important and relative to how Weiss and Ruby interact. So, not to give too much away, Weiss is in trouble and happens to find Ruby who helps her and takes her to her apartment for the night. Adorableness and cuteness then ensue plus REALLY REALLY GOOD WHITE ROSE BANTER. like omg top tier writing. I love this. Read it. 

The Snowball Effect by ShadowBlazer- This is another modern AU where Ruby is a political science major in college who is found by Winter who asks Ruby to be in a fake relationship with Weiss. Hilariousness ensues and of course Weiss and Ruby get along really well. ;) 

Fly Together by Etheriell- This is a Superhero AU where Ruby and Weiss are both heroes (Weiss is a brand new hero tho who heavily admires famous Hero!Ruby if you know what I mean *winks*). Ruby and Weiss are almost like partners in justice (not crime) and its so cute because they’re just constantly flirting with this heavy sexual tension around them every time lol so yeah, lots of action and lots of pining/flirting happens! If you want something fun to read, definitely read this!

My Girlfriend is a Dragon by Kirika Nai- This one is a fantasy AU where Weiss just escapes her home to live freely but then discovers this dragon who saves her. Later, said dragon becomes a beautiful girl around Weiss’ age, who she learns is Ruby. Then they get into all sorts of trouble while Ruby learns to be a proper human in society. It’s a hilarious story full of fun and really sweet moments between these two. 

Running Away From (Towards) You by ArrowOvis- this is a modern AU story where Ruby is a professional track star and Weiss is her current roommate at their shared apartment and they’re best friends (yeah not romantic... YET). This story is filled with a lot of misunderstanding type of angst between them but they really love each other. It’s basically a story where Ruby goes through stages of grief because she can't control her feeling for Weiss any longer and she doesn't want to burden Weiss or ruin their friendship because of it. Currently tho, they’re very happy and very much together. Please read it.