#also lmao everyone thinks theyve fooled around with each other before 😂 maybe not straight up sex but like smth

[happyk44]

Percy: Grover!! Did you know Annabeth isn't a virgin?

Grover: Yeah, she told me about it. And then told me not to tell you because she thought you'd get weird about it. Like how you are now.

Percy: Oh, come on. I don't care that she hooked up with someone before we started dating. I might've cared if it was Clarisse, but like, whatever. What I care about it is that we are no longer on equal footing. I thought it was gonna be weird and awkward for both of us, but, like, who cares! Neither one of us knows what we're doing so it's fine!

Percy: But she does! And I don't. And what if I do it wrong and she decides that she'd rather date that girl from the Aphrodite cabin. I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy she's ever been attracted to, Grover! I'm already on thin ice!

Grover: No, I'm pretty sure she was into Luke too.

Percy: Everybody was into Luke! He surpassed sexuality!

Grover: Yeah, good point. He was pretty hot.

Percy: He was super fucking hot! But that's not the point. The point is I'm gonna suck and she's gonna know I suck and then we're gonna break up and I'm gonna die alone at the bottom of the Hudson River, choking on water pollution.

Grover:

Grover: That's grim, man.

Percy: Yeah, I know. I think I might go to Sargasso instead. Get some sun.

Grover: Yeah... Or, you know, you could just. Not die at the bottom of any body of water and just. Have sex with your girlfriend. Sex is weird for everybody. First times, even among non-virgins, aren't always amazing. You gotta learn someone else's body, you know? It's not the same from one to one.

Percy: You've had sex with other people that aren't Juniper?

Grover: No, I'm just not stupid.

Grover: Look, Percy, why don't we just fuck then? It won't matter if it's weird because I'm not going anywhere and you're not going anywhere, and also my patron god was also a god of fertility and ran around with his dick out all the time so I think that'll help.

Percy: Oh wow. Sucks, we didn't get to meet him in his prime.

Grover: Yeah, I know. But also Juniper already told me she thought we lost our virginities to each other because of how close we are, so why the hell not?

Percy: I just don't think Annabeth would like me having sex with someone else. And I think she'd slap me if I asked.

Grover: Actually, her text before you came running over said "hey tineater SB freaked calm him down plz do whatever" aaaaand she just responded with "I thought you guys hooked up once already before legit cannot believe you haven't don't break his dick I still need it okay love you have fun".

Percy:

Percy: Why do both of our girlfriends think we've fooled around with each other?

Grover: I think it's because you smell my hair when I make you hold me.

Percy: That's just best friend shit!

Grover: I know! They need better besties.