#also like for me. my 5th grade teacher was sick for half the year n then fucked off to another school. 8th grade civics teacher retired

[spiritunwilling]

Me and my brother cursed forever to have really good teachers who are in their last year teaching at the school

[everlarkbirthdaygifts]

Happy Birthday, popsicle181!

Apologies once again for the delay on your birthday gift, @popsicle181​! We hope you had a wonderful birthday back on the 5th, and that you got all you wished for! To bring your party back around, the lovely @mega-aulover​ has written a story just for you!

For: popsicle181

Prompt: I would love anything with a college theme (maybe a first meeting) if possible.

Authors Note: I would like to apologize for the late submission of your birthday drabble. But I wanted to make sure that you received the best story possible and I hope you don’t mind the little journey we’re taking.  There are many bonds, the bonds of friendship, the bond of family, and the bond of love. Some bonds can never be broken. Special thanks to Norbertsmom for her encouragement and beta skills

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Kindergarten: 

Katniss held her father’s hand tightly.  “Papa, do I have to go?”

“Yes half-pint, you have to go.”

Tears filled her eyes. “But I don’t want to leave you and mama.”

Her father kneeled down in front of her. “Tell you what. It’s not going to be easy for your maw and me to let you go to school for so long, but I can’t be selfish. I can’t keep you home and not let you learn anything. Especially since you want to be a big sister. And one day when you do become a big sister you’re going to want to read to them, and help them with their homework.”

Katniss looked down. She did want to be a big sister.  Livi Bard had a baby brother she got to help take care of. Katniss wanted someone to sing to, to play with, and wanted to teach all the things her mama and papa taught her. “I do want to read the baby stories.”

“Plus, if you learn how to write, we can write a song together.”

Her little head popped up, “Really!”

“Yeah.” 

Katniss looked at the massive building. “Okay papa, I’ll go to school. I need to learn to write a song.”

With that resolved Katniss marched purposefully into the building and went about her day. She learned how to hold a pencil and was tracing her name when she heard a soft cry in the room. Turning her head she saw a small boy hiding amongst a fortification of blocks. A group of boys were snickering at him. They ran away after the teacher appeared. 

Katniss stood up in her chair to peer at him. His round little face was angelic and his blond curls were a riot. His eyes were wide and filled with tears.  His pale cheeks were splotchy and he bit his lips to keep from crying in earnest. Katniss felt a deep stirring in her heart for the little boy. Getting down, she walked over to him and sat down. She didn’t like hearing other kids cry.  She began to build up the fort around both of them all the while humming. She noted the sweet smell of cinnamon. He reminded her of the snickerdoodle cookies her mama liked to bake.

“Twinkle, twinkle…” Katniss sang, “little star-”.  Her father sang to her whenever she was having a bad day. She hoped it would help the little boy. Katniss leaned over him and took a brick as she sang softly.  He stopped making noises as she finished her song. 

“You have a pretty voice,” the shy boy said. His tear filled eyes glanced at her with awe.

“No I don’t,” Katniss wrinkled her nose, “My papa has a better voice. Why were you crying?”

“The other kids were making fun of me, because of my name,” he whispered.

“What’s your name?”

“Promise not to laugh?”

Katniss nodded. 

“My name is Peeta.”

"I like your name."

 His blue eyes widened, awe in his voice, "You do?"

Katniss smiled.

"What's your name?"

Katniss shrugged. “My name is Katniss. It’s a plant that grows in the mud. Do you want to be my friend?”

“Sure.”

From that moment on Katniss was attached to Peeta. They were best friends all throughout Kindergarten. They were a team, coloring, defending the smaller kids in class from the bullies. 

Peeta learned Katniss became cranky when hungry, he always brought an extra cheese bun to share for snack. Katniss learned Peeta's favorite color was orange. She gave him all of the shades of orange from her crayon box. 

They shared their lunches together, and when Katniss got sick in class Peeta sat with her inside of the nurses office. He held her hand until her father came, and one day in class when Peeta tripped Katniss caught him before he fell into a chair.

“Peeta and Katniss sitting under a tree K - I - S - S- I - N - G…” one of the kids snickered one day. 

Katniss narrowed her eyes, becoming mad by the taunting.

 “Maybe one day we will be in love and get married and have the baby in the baby carriage. We’ll always be together,” Peeta replied.

Katniss snapped out of her anger. She turned to him and the thought of having Peeta, just like her mama had her papa made her happy.  “Always?”  

His gaze was unflinching, yet filled with tenderness. "Always."                                                 

The words formed a bond deep within her little heart. They were a team before but after this, they became inseparable. Nonetheless as all stories have a beginning, they also have an ending. Theirs had to come to a stop as Kindergarten came to an end. 

During play time on the last day of Kindergarten, they sat with their little arms wrapped around each other, as if trying to absorb as much as they could of the other.  When dismissal time came, they were not excitedly speaking about summer plans. Katniss sadly sat with Peeta in the class holding his hand.

“Peeta,” the Kindergarten teacher called. “Your father is here to pick you up.” 

Katniss squeezed his hand tighter.

“I’m sorry Mr. Mellark, Peeta’s normally picked up by his brothers.  Your son and Katniss have quite the bond. They are a pair of star crossed lovers,” the teacher explained. “They are so sweet.”

Peeta and Katniss stood, tears gathered in her eyes. 

“Promise you’ll remember me.” Peeta hugged her.

Katniss who at first didn’t want to go to school had discovered a reason to go to class everyday. 

“Always.”

“Here.” Peeta gave her a heart with a picture of them together,  he’d spent hours in class drawing. 

Katniss gave him an orange ribbon he liked.

They tearfully separated on the last day. Each one staring at the other over the shoulder of their respective fathers.

Sixth Grade:

“Dear Katniss,

I couldn’t believe it when I read you are in Mr. Raj’s class.  I am also going to be in Mr. Raj’s class. It’s going to be so much fun this year we are going to be in the same school and I heard Mr. Raj is a great math teacher.”

Katniss couldn’t believe her eyes.  She put down the letter. After they separated in Kindergarten, Peeta found out her address and he sent her a picture. It was a surprise to see the carefully drawn picture from her friend. It lifted Katniss' sadness. Her father encouraged her to draw him a picture in return. In six years the bond that began in Kindergarten grew. She learned Peeta lived in a very affluent part of town. Her home was humble in comparison, a two bedroom home that her father was restoring.  She and her baby sister Prim shared a bedroom. 

She was sitting at the study desk in the living room reading her letter.  Prim was already asleep in their room upstairs. Her mother walked by humming as she carried a laundry basket upstairs.  Katniss was trying to figure out what to write to Peeta. 

“So what did young Master Peeta write?” Her father joked sitting next to Katniss.

“Daddy.”  Katniss could feel the sting of the blush hitting her cheeks.  Her father learning her pen pal was well off he joked that Peeta was richer than Mayor Undersee. Katniss didn’t like it but her mother often told her that her father was only having fun. 

“We’re going to the same school in the fall and we’ll have the same math class.”

Her father whistled. “That’s pretty important stuff.”

“Yeah,” Katniss breathed. 

“What are you going to tell him?”

“I was going to say how happy I am and about how this summer you taught me to use the bow and arrow.”

“Well don’t stay up too late.”  Her father stood, and ruffled her hair. “I’ve got to change that cable, it’s frayed,” he said pointing to the floor lamp by the garbage bin.  

Katniss nodded.  She began to write, but what she wrote didn’t sound good. She tore the paper from her note book and threw it in the trash. Time began to  tick away, as the trash bin filled up. Katniss sleepily glanced at her letter, she yawned and she placed her head on the table. 

Coughing, she woke up to see her room was filled with smoke. Getting up she saw the trash bin was on fire. The curtain caught fire and Katniss screamed. Moments later her father ran down the stairs. Katniss ran from the desk into his arms. 

Her father tore open the front door,  and put her on the sidewalk, “Go to the neighbors house and call the fire department.”

Katniss nodded, and took off as her father ran back into the house.

“Mr. Wyler, Mr. Wyler,” Katniss pounded on the door.  Tears streamed down her face. 

“Katniss.” Mr. Wyler opened the door.

“My house is on fire please call the fire department!” 

“Alex what is it?” Mr. Wyler’s wife asked.

“Call 911,” Mr. Wyler said, stepping outside to look at her home.

Katniss ran back home. but her house was burning. Her father ran outside with Primrose. “Stay with your sister, I’m going to get mommy, okay.”

“Daddy,” Katniss yelled. Mr. Wyler pulled her back. Katniss turned to her sister and put her arms around her. That was the last time she’d seen her father alive. The fire was started by the floor lamp. The frayed wires lit the papers from the waste bin on fire. It was her fault for not being able to write, to communicate well. She blamed herself for her parents deaths and she closed herself off. 

Katniss vowed she would never allow others into her heart, for fear of losing them. Katniss and Primrose moved to another town with their uncle Haymitch Abernathy. She pushed the memory of Peeta away. She eventually met another boy named Gale, but she never let him get close and pushed him away at every opportunity.   

 College:

Katniss hated college. She wanted nothing more than to quit and go home. But to be honest she didn’t really have a home anymore. After her parents died and Katniss and her baby sister moved in with Haymitch nothing was the same. Haymitch wasn’t really her uncle, but he was the person her parents entrusted the care of their girls to in their will.  Haymitch and his wife were not a typical married couple, they always bickered. Aunt Effie detested uncle Haymitch's geese. UncIe Haymitch reminded Effie on a daily basis that they lived on a farm.

Kathiss was going to stay on at the farm helping Haymitch run the place, but Haymitch changed all of those ideas when he showed her her parents’ last will.  Going to college was the one thing her parents wanted for Katniss and Prim. Unbeknownst to Katniss, their parents had a college fund for each of the girls. 

The fund and her scholarship she won for archery had secured her place in Panem University. Katniss was a shy person by nature and the bustling nature of the university overwhelmed her. While other freshmen met and became friends with the kids around campus, Katniss avoided people, people like her roommate. 

 The first few days, her roommate Clove was your average girl next door. Then precisely at midnight on the Saturday of that first weekend she shaved her head. The next day Clove painted her half of the room black, and she bought a set of paring knives that she used for target practice.  Katniss was eternally grateful when on the following Monday Clove found a guy and moved in with him. Clove took all of her clothes and most importantly, her knives. 

For the past 2 weeks the room was quiet and peaceful. Katniss didn’t have to put up with Clove’s screeching music. And although she enjoyed  having a room to herself, Katniss admitted to herself she was lonely. She missed her sister.  She missed the familiar sounds of Haymitch's geese. The click- clack noise of Effies heels,  as she walked on the hardwood floors. She even missed Haymitch and his cantankerous ways.

Katniss' internal strife must have shown on her face because her sister was trying to make her feel better. 

“Cheer up Katniss,” her baby sister said through the computer screen.

Katniss grimaced. Only a handful of people could tell what she was really thinking. She effectively hid her real feelings often. Life had taught her that putting her real self out there only caused hurt and pain. Her sister, her uncle Haymitch, and Peeta knew the real Katniss. Thinking about the boy with the warm blue eyes always caused flutters in her stomach. 

Katniss shrugged.

“Look, I know you didn’t want to go to college, but trust me. Little things always lead to something bigger.”

Her sister was always spouting encouraging statements, like the one found on those posters.  Katniss rolled her eyes. 

“You are in a real mood tonight.” Prim grimaced, then said, “I hate to do this to you but do you remember when I did you that favor…”

Katniss at first frowned. “What in the world are you talking about?”

“You know when you and Gale wanted to go hunting for deer in the middle of the night? Remember I told you you’d owed me.”

Katniss blinked, she remembered that night. She stupidly wanted to go, thinking it was purely to hunt. It turned out all Gale wanted was to drink beer and try to make out with her. She’d given Gale a shiner when he tried to make a move on her. Gale was embarrassed to admit she’d given him a black eye; he said he ran into a branch. That was the beginning of the end of her so-called friendship with Gale Hawthorne.  Prim had covered for her that night.

“What do you want you little shyster?”

Prim gave Katniss that grin that caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. Her sister was typically the nicest person unless she was on one of her missions then Primrose was ruthless. 

“You must promise me the next time you go out you will speak to the first person you see.”

Katniss opened her mouth to protest.

“Katniss!”

Prim’s stern voice caused Katniss to shut her mouth. She mumbled, “Fine.”

“Good.” Her sister looked so proud of herself. 

“Prim!” Katniss could hear their aunt call, “Time for dinner!”

Prim rolled her eyes. “I’ve got to go.” 

The screen went dark and Katniss flopped herself on the bed. Her eyes narrowed. There was no way she was going to complete the task Prim set up for her. Katniss became grinchlike in her thoughts. There were ways of avoiding people. She’d done it in high school. Gale was an anomaly. He wouldn’t leave her alone after he found out how good she was at hunting. He was annoying as the gum that got stuck to your sneakers. 

Sitting up, Katniss grabbed her pen and paper and jotted down a few notes:

eat breakfast at five in the morning 

get to class just as it began 

sit in the back of the class

buy lunch & dinner when the crowds are gone 

Study in the library at odd hours 

Wear a hoodie so that no one can talk to you. 

Wear your headphones so it looks like you’re listening to music 

With her plan set, she began to systematically avoid people. Katniss even purchased things like crackers, jelly, and peanut butter, chips and salsa to munch on so that she didn't have to leave her dorm room. During the week, she used shadows and stillness to get across campus to avoid the  crowds. Everything was going to plan, except for the week of Thanksgiving break. Katniss didn’t have enough money to go home, plus there was a massive snow storm forecasted. Katniss decided to stockpile some snacks from the student commissary that Wednesday evening. 

The campus was empty as nearly everyone left by the morning as to not get caught up in the blizzard. Katniss had one last class that ended at four-forty-five. Professor Coin didn’t let anyone out until the end of the class; the woman was merciless. 

Going to the commissary was a risk. However Katniss was low on supplies, and she needed something to drink and eat. If the snow storm was as bad as predicted, the school cafeteria would not be opening. She also hated the cold and she wasn’t going to leave her dorm room until Monday morning.

Katniss hoped there wouldn't be a lot of people cramming the small building. Those left on campus were probably like her, doing last minute shopping.  Katniss rushed out of class. The snow fell quickly and was accumulating. 

She got to the commissary and thankfully it was still opened. She rushed in and rebounded back against a solid form. 

“Woah,” a deep voice said. 

Katniss blinked as the world swayed as she fell backwards. Suddenly she came to a violent stop, and her vision came into focus;  she noted blond curls, warm blue eyes, and a gentle smile. She picked up on the strong scent of cookies. She looked at him then saw they were near a display of cookies and baked goods. A wave of nostalgia wafted over her as cookies and baked goods always reminded Katniss of her childhood friend Peeta. 

“I got you.” 

Katniss didn’t like to be touched. She’d clocked Gale for stepping into her personal space when they went on that phony hunting trip. However, being held right now caused her entire body to tingle. She felt the way her cheeks burned. Katniss was sure they glowed redder than an apple. 

“Are you okay?”

She wasn’t much of a talker and all she could manage was a little nod. 

A wave of familiarity hit Katniss. She shook her head, trying to understand what odd dimension she’d stepped into.  Much the way certain scents brought forth certain memories, there was something about the guy holding her that didn’t cause her to feel that instant rejection.  She didn’t mind his touch. 

Unlike Gale who had a current of negativity about him, this boy had a current of good. Katniss thought maybe she’d fallen and hit her head. She must have been in a dream like state, as everything around her blurred and the music that was always blaring in the student run commissary was silenced. Only they existed in this small bubble. He was handsome and debonair. And Katniss couldn’t help but give a  virtual stranger a slightly goofy smile. 

“Here, let me help you.” 

Katniss questioned why his voice caused her heart to palpitate like the beating drums from Jumanji. “Ahhh…’ the guttural sound that came out of her was sure to make an impression on the guy holding her. The more she stared at him the more attractive he seemed. 

“It’s okay,” he said holding her shoulders, as she slipped on the wet floor. 

He helped  her become upright and Katniss noticed how broad his shoulders were, how masculine his hands were. She also noticed his eyes were that elusive blue that changed color with his mood. Right now his eyes were a cheerful robin's egg blue, as he grinned at her. 

“Sorry.” Katniss blurted out embarrassed by her lack of coordination. 

"It's okay the floor is wet from the snow." 

"My friends call me Peet, not, P- E- T- E but P- E- E- T."

The spelling was unusual but at least his nickname wasn't painful. Gale called her catnip out of spite, because she decked him. "Katniss."

Peet's blue eyes widened at her name.

"I know it's not a usual name, it's a plant."

"It's a tuber that grows in the marshes with a creamy colored flower." He blushed and he rubbed the back of his neck as if embarrassed by what he was going to say next. "I know alot about flowers. I decorate cakes for a living."

"I hunt with bow and arrow," Katniss blurted. She opened her mouth and closed it, she felt giddy suddenly like when she was a child and the world included her parents.

"I sound like a geek." His cheeks became ruddy. Peet looked over her shoulder, “Man it’s coming down out there.”

Katniss blinked and forced herself from awkwardly gawking at Peet to the door she just came through. “Crap,” Katniss bemoaned. A few inches had fallen. 

“We should hurry up.  I’m in Crumpet Hall just across the way. Where do you live?”

“Greenly,” Katniss muttered. 

Peet gave her a low whistle. “That’s way across campus. If you don’t hurry you won’t get to your dorm room on time.” 

Peet was right, if she didn’t leave soon she wouldn’t make it to her building across campus. Her mind turned to the shelves, she needed to do a power shop, and get out. Thankfully there weren't a lot of people in the commissary.  “Thank you,” Katniss said. 

She hurried down the aisles quickly picking up what she needed. When she got to the cash register Peet was paying for his food.  She kept on staring outside at the snow. The visibility was getting worse.  Once done, Katniss bundled up to go outside. 

“Will you be okay walking all the way to Greenley?”

Katniss turned to him. “I hope so.”

Both set out in the snow. The path that led from the commissary to the dorms was blanketed with half-a-foot of snow. The cold wind bit at her cheeks and it was getting harder to see. 

"KATNISS!" Peet yelled out to her when they got to the fork in the path.

Kathiss stopped walking, he was only an arms length away. He got closer to her, as the snowfall dampened the sound of his voice.

"You should come with me,” Peet shouted. “I have a suite, my roommates are gone for the break. I promise I’ll be a gentleman.”

She trusted Gale because he was her hunting partner, but didn’t trust him outside of the woods. Her instincts about Gale were spot on. After they fell out he started going out with Madge, the mayor's daughter. Then he began the name calling.  Looking into Peet’s eyes she wasn’t sure she should trust him.  Just then she heard thunder and she jumped out of fright. 

“It’s getting worse out here, we need to get to safety,” Peet said. “I lost my brother in a snowstorm!” He held out his hand to her.

Katniss heard the desperation  in his voice. Learning he’d lost someone caused her to acquiesce.  She took his hand. 

Together they walked toward his dorm room. A walk that normally took five minutes took nearly fifteen. Peet waved his ID card in front of the scanner to get into the building. Once inside, the warmth stung their cheeks, but it felt good. 

“Come on, my room this way. I can throw your coat and stuff in the dryers downstairs.

Katniss followed him through the winding corridors to his room. Using his ID card he opened the door to his suite. There were two doors and off to the side a small living area and a kitchen with another door. 

As he walked toward the kitchen Katniss saw Peet had a limp. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He put the bags down. He sat down. “I have a fake leg,” He knocked on his leg.

Katniss would have never guessed that he had a prosthetic. The more she got to know about him, the more intrigued she became. “I’m so sorry.”   

“It was a long time ago.” Peet shrugged. 

The walls in the kitchen were painted a soft orange. The color struck something within her and once more she was hit with a sense of familiarity. She continued looking around at the kitchen. He had things that no average college guy would have. 

There was a set of professional knives inside of a case.  Stainless steel pots and a cast-iron pan hung neatly from a wall. There was a marble block and a wooden rolling pin neatly tucked away in a corner. And his spices were lined up on the counter.  Saffron, thyme, Rosemary, allspice, clove, ginger, caraway, cardamom, nutmeg, dill, cinnamon we're just a few names she read. As a hunter knowing your prey’s environment helped you figure them out. Seeing Peet's environment led her to believe that what he said about being a baker was true. He was honest.

"I'm going to go get some towels and if you give me your coat, like I said, I can toss it in the dryer."

He walked out of the room as she removed her coat.

 She was only removing  her jacket, but for some reason it felt so intimate, as if she was peeling back a layer, exposing her soul. 

She should have been terrified; she was in the dorm room of a stranger. Yet there was something compelling about Peet, an underlying sweetness and goodness that she found in only one other person, her sister. Like an old pair of shoes, comfortable and familiar. 

“Here,” Peet said, handing her a fluffy robe. “It’s a bit chilly in here, my roommate always complains that if I could I’d have the thermostat set to zero.”

Katniss wasn’t expecting  robe, but she took it, handing him her coat.  When he walked out she sniffed his robe, it smelled of cinnamon and it made her smile. Her father always smelled of fresh pine. Katniss slipped on the robe and instantly felt a warmth that spread from her inside out. The door opened and Peet walked back in, he smiled at her, and his eyes turned a dark blue. 

“Good, are you hungry, I’m going to make us some bread, maybe some cupcakes.”

“You don’t have to,” Katniss protested.

“It’s nothing. I made dough earlier. I've been letting it rest. I just have to sprinkle some herbs on top.”

It sounded wonderful, but Katniss didn’t want to give him any more trouble. “It sounds like a lot-” Katniss was going to say more but her stomach growled.

“Yup that settles it, grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, and cupcakes.”

Katniss nodded. 

“Have a seat, the remote is somewhere by the T.V.,” Peet said, washing his hands. 

Taking her book bag, Katniss sat down in the living room. There was nothing on the television; all of the local channels were covering the snow storm.  Her phone pinged with a message.  

It was a message from Prim asking her if she was fine. 

Katniss looked up at Peet. She asked herself if she was fine, and for the first time since coming to college Katniss could honestly say she was fine. She replied to her sister.  With a soft smile on her face, she began watching him cook. 

Peet’s movements in the kitchen were efficient, like the chefs she’d seen on TV.  He took out several cookie sheets and put them down on the counters.  From the fridge he took out  tomatoes, peppers, and a bowl covered with a dishcloth. He set the oven to preheat.  

Katniss moved from her position to the kitchen table so she could watch him. His hands were steady and quick as he put tomatoes and peppers on a cookie sheet. He sprinkled the tomatoes and peppers with olive oil, seasonings, salt and pepper, before putting them in the oven.  He next set to work on the bread.

Fascinated, Katniss watched on as Peet took off his sweater and the white t-shirt he was wearing showed off just how fit he was. His back muscles moved under the t-shirt as he worked on the cupcakes. Peet was making them from scratch and not from a box.  Her mouth watered. If it wasn’t for the pinging sound of her phone, Katniss would have continued to gawk at Peet. 

It was Haymitch telling her to be safe. Katniss and her uncle had a strange relationship. They understood each other, but they never talked. Haymitch instincts were as good as her own. He never liked Gale.  She sent back a thumbs up emoji. Glancing up, she knew instantly Haymitch would like Peet. He had that inherent goodness Prim had, and Haymitch had taken to her baby sister immediately. 

“You don’t remember, do you?” He asked as he put water in the  kettle to boil. 

 Katniss found this question odd. “Remember you? We’ve just met.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure we met before.” 

He chuckled, then turned to face her. “You gave me this,” Peet took out something from his pocket and looked at it fondly. “You disappeared on me.  I could have used a friend.” 

He put the scrap of faded ribbon on the table and Katniss' eyes widened. “Peeta.”

“When I saw your eyes I thought it was you, but then you said your name and I just knew. There aren’t many Katniss’ in the world.”

Katniss eyes filled with tears. The boy she’d been writing a letter to, that caused the fire was standing before her. Though he wasn’t unscathed, he lost a brother and leg. “My parents died. We had to move.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

“You wouldn’t have known; you were a kid. We were both children.” Katniss couldn’t move, however the ribbon mocked her. He carried it all of his life. The drawing he gave her had burned in the house. She didn’t know how to feel. 

“That winter break I lost my leg and my brother.” He looked down, his eyes turning dark, a midnight color as he recalled the painful memory. “We snuck out of the house to play in the snow in the middle of the night thinking the storm was over. The snow was so heavy we got lost getting back to our house. My brother covered me with his body, it’s why I lived, but I lost my leg.”

Katniss looked at his legs before her eyes moved up to his face. He looked just like she felt, in need of a new beginning.

The whistle of the kettle forced him to turn around. 

“Why are you stuck here for the weekend?” Peeta turned to hand her a cup of tea. 

Katniss took the cup, and debated telling him the truth. He’d been honest with her. There was no reason to lie, besides she wasn’t a great liar. “I didn’t have enough money to go home,” Katniss automatically followed her answer with a question. “ What about you, why are you stuck here?”

“Nobody wants me home,” Peeta said. 

Katniss frowned. It wasn’t the statement itself, but the way he said it, as if he was unloved. “Why?”

He turned around and shrugged, “I’m not needed.” 

The smell of the apartment filled with the lovely scent of oregano and broiling tomatoes.  Peeta shaped up the bread in his hands as if he had been doing it all of his life.  “Anyone who can cook like you is worth their weight in gold. Right now my aunt is preheating the oven to cook the frozen dinners she purchased.” Katniss looked down at her idle hands. “I haven’t had a cooked meal in years.”

“My mom, she blames me for the death of my brother. She was relieved when I decided to come to Panem. She wasn’t at the train station when I left.”

Hearing how cold his mother was caused Katniss to pursed her lips. She stood and on impulse she hugged him from behind. All of those childhood sentiments filled up in her heart and all that he’d told her made her understand something. Prim was right, she needed someone in her life. And the universe had brought her friend back to her, despite all of her careful planning. 

Peeta turned around and hugged her back. She stood on tiptoe and sniffed the collar of his shirt and the familiar scent of cinnamon and vanilla caused her to feel at home. She closed her eyes. 

“I’ve missed you,” Peeta murmured into the crook of her neck. His hot breath fanning the sensitive skin, making her feel alive. 

“I’ve missed you, too,” Katniss replied.

“I’ve never forgotten you, Katniss.” 

Katniss could feel the rush of heat to her cheeks as she blushed and butterflies filled her stomach. 

Peeta pulled away and then he grinned. “I better get you fed. If I recall you got really testy when hungry.”

Katniss laughed, then sat down. She picked up the ribbon. Primrose was right; from something small something great had happened. One day, she decided, she would tell their children of how a little ribbon led to a love of a lifetime.

FIN 

[kainumbernine009]

I literally cannot do anything else until I get this out.

I’m... really not okay.

And when I say that, I’m not mentally unstable. I say that because I’m tired of waiting on empty promises, I’m tired of never having money in our account, I’m tired of living in a fucking city where half of the white people fucking worship the ground Trump walks on, and where most of the gay community has so much messy drama that it’s worse than middle school. And I went to a rough middle school.

I never talk about my past, because I don’t like to. It sucked. HARD. Being and only child in my family was nothing less than torture, especially as a closeted queer person. We grew up in the white Christian part of Nashville that dominated Music Row in the 90′s and early 2000′s. I played basketball with Alan Jackson’s daughter, and being around famous people was just no big deal. But, my parents decided to leave Nashville after my dad lost his job at TPAC, and we moved down south an hour to the town where the KKK got started (Pulaski, TN).

I had maybe two non-white people in my private Christian school growing up. I was never afraid of Black people, but my parents showed their racist asses quick when we moved there. The KKK has never left America, guys, no matter how many articles you read or studies you do. From 2005 to 2009 I saw a white town show its very worst to the Black community. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a march for “White Christians for Purity” the summer before Obama got elected. The disgust I felt inside was palpable. I had all kinds of friends in school, and I didn’t give TWO SHITS who they were or what they looked like... but I saw children my age, being brainwashed by their parents, that “white” is “right.”

Ever since then, I have been learning and growing about the issues of race. I remember my white classmates using the N word and getting away with it. I remember hearing about the principal at the high school punishing all the Black kids but not the white kids. I remember being invited to a church south of town that was a historically Black church, and how nice the ladies were to me for coming.

But I’ll never forget the racism that the religious groups promoted there, especially First Baptist Church and the 12 Tribes. I’ll never forget how FBC told me that my friend was going to Hell because she killed herself. I’ll never forget my mom telling me not to marry a Black man because of “impure genes.” I WILL NEVER FORGET THE INJUSTICES I SAW WHITE PEOPLE DOING TO BLACK PEOPLE THERE. NEVER.

And thank God, I have shaken the burden of religious guilt, but I still fight against this mentality. I live in a place that’s usually not even 10 minutes away from Trump-humping, sister-fucking, meth-addicted Confederate cunts in any direction. And we’re even closer to the rich white people who silently supported him, upset that their taxes would go up because of Biden.

And in the past four years since Trump got elected, I’ve gotten married, graduated college with honors, started my own photography business, and was making more than my husband there for a minute. I did my own taxes, marketing, editing, and everything. And then I came out as trans.

I lost everything.

I lost my studio. I lost friends. I had rumors started about me. I had people post hate messages on my wall. I had people at my drag shows tell others not to tip me, for whatever fucking reasons. I’ve had bosses give cis people jobs over me, and I’ve had government workers give me second looks when I hand them my license.

It. Fucking. Sucks. To. Live. Here. Like. This.

Oh yeah, did I mention I’m also a witch/medium? I’ve talked to dead people before and have told their relatives things I shouldn’t have known otherwise about their grandparents. Like, this information doesn’t even exist on Google. And I’m attuned to reiki. I’m always aware of what’s happening on at least SOME metaphysical level. This is a gift that I’ve had to go through life developing and learning about myself, with no one’s help but me.

I didn’t even know until I was an adult that I have autism and ADHD.

I’ve taken bullets from people who were about to kill themselves. I’ve yelled at 5th grade music classrooms for doing racist dance moves and appropriating Native Americans (I have a degree in Music Education K-12). I’ve consoled kids in classrooms who suddenly have panic attacks. AND I’ve told horny teenagers to stay in their fucking lane and respect the girls around them. I’ve apparently been an inspiration to those around me, but inspiration NOR exposure pays the bills. I’ve already had COVID, and so has my husband, but I knew that after graduating college that I would never have a fulfilling life being a music teacher in Tennessee’s public schools.

And now that we have COVID, and an orange, small-dicked, pedophilic, rape apologizing, dirty, crusty white president who STILL REFUSES TO CONCEDE, who is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING HIS FOLLOWERS SEND DEATH THREATS TO MY FAMILY, I really don’t know what the fuck else to do other than go burn down all the houses I know of in North Georgia that belong to these Christian sex cult pedophiles and call it a day. My girlfriend unfortunately was born into one of those families, and I know just how bad it can get. In fact, her dad’s lawyer threatened me with blackmail earlier in November, so that was fun!

And now, on December 11, 2020, I’m still sitting here in the same fucking house, doing the same fucking things I’ve been doing all year - trying to get a job and failing horribly. I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS COVID BULLSHIT AND OUR INCOMPOTENT CUNT OF A PRESIDENT! And there’s only ever one other person I’ve ever called a cunt... my own mother.

I’ve lived in many places. I’ve met many different people. I’ve made mistakes, and have grown, but there’s one thing for damn sure that I always make sure to do, every single fucking day.

I ALWAYS try to do better.

In addition to this, I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, unless they have done something directly to me to negate that. If I know that someone believes in something that directly harms me or my family, I don’t even associate with them. I don’t spend my energy on things that don’t need it. And everyone else should, too.

The problem with some of y’all is that you care about the wrong things. Like will Becky text me back or did I get front row seats to that concert, or did I slave my life away to capitalism just so that I can own a Mercedes and have my friends jealous. I’ve had way too many dear death experiences to know that EVERY single fucking day is a gift. EVERY day.

I don’t want to be remembered first for the art I create. I want to be remembered for my character. I want to be remembered as the courageous person who never backed down in the face of adversity. But when you live in a place that already hates you and that is against you, that’s really fucking hard. Trust me. My marriage went from a cis straight passing couple to a white gay passing couple. I’ve seen how people’s attitudes changed around me as I transitioned. I know what it feels like to slowly lose a piece of your privilege you were born with.

So yeah, I kinda get a little fucking upset when I see people saying All Lives Matter, or when I see doctors refusing to treat trans patients in pandemics, or when I see cops YET AGAIN harassing Black people only a few blocks away from my house for no other reason than racism. And at this point, anyone who thinks they know me but only knows what people think they know about me can suck my entire ass and eat ten dicks. I don’t give a FUCK about who you are or what you’ve done. If you treat me or other people with no respect for no reason other than to be an asshole, you’re just plain shit. If you SERIOUSLY believe every little rumor and lie that someone tells about me before meeting me, fuck you AND the horse you rode in on.

What I can’t stand is people doing or saying things just to get a rise out of me or others. I thought we left petty shit in high school. Some of the people that “know” me really need to fucking grow up and grow a pair and either say what they want to my face, or stay mad. I’m tired of playing fucking petty games with y’all. We have a whole ass pandemic to solve.

So here’s the ultimatum... if you agree that Black Lives Matter and that queer people deserve basic human rights, EVEN THE ONES YOU HATE, then that’s the bare minimum to even be a decent person. If you can’t even do those things, then I don’t fucking know what else to say to you.

So NBC, maybe not have John Mulaney joke about my license debacle with my gold van on SNL, and Seth Meyers... maybe HIRE ME INSTEAD of Mulaney because clearly y’all don’t know about the south as much as I do? Oh, and that gazeebo joke with Lee University... I caught that. I may have autism, but I’m not a fucking idiot. I mean. I’m funny when I’m given the chance. And yeah, I’m on a watchlist, but who the fuck isn’t these days? At least all my secrets are out for the world to see, and I have a bangin’ tattoo.

I’m tired of everyone being like “omg, I’ve seen what he can do, it’s fantastic!” or “omg you’re so funny haha” and bragging on me and then NOT FUCKING HIRING ME. I’m TIRED of waiting on something that’s clearly at this point never coming.

I don’t even have testicles, and my balls are bigger than most of the cis men I have EVER met.

So, if you want to help me, or hire me, or get me out to an audition... I’ll be there. But until then, I’m so fucking MAD at some of these producers. Yeah, my mom is a cunt, but she worked in various forms of digital production from the 1980′s until she retired this year. She taught me SO MUCH about directing, writing, shooting, and more. I know how these things are supposed to run behind the scenes. I know what the fuck I’m doing, and I don’t take constructive criticism like a bitch. I actually WANT to be criticized, so I can do even better.

So PLEASE, for the love of Christ... y’all need to get your priorities together AND PLEASE STOP LEAVING ME OUT OF THE LOOP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. Grow a fucking pair and either call me, email me, or leave me alone. It’s really not that fucking hard. Looking at you, Lorne Michaels.

Oh and someone tell my husband what the fuck’s been going on because I’m tired of him gaslighting me about it.

[fuckyeahkagepro]

a quick summary of Kagepro theories in relation to Momo Kisaragi + 'five years ago', pt. 1

AROUND, NOT EXACTLY, 'FIVE YEARS AGO': * HAPPENS *

Momo: As stated by my 2013 era early profile, Momo Kisaragi, elementary school! LOWER GRADES! I'm in 10th grade of high school in MAIN CANON, I say this MULTIPLE TIMES in "Kisaragi Attention" chapters, and Japanese elementary school consists of SIX grades compared to the US's FIVE. I.e. a sixth grader is comparable to a US first year middle schooler! They might be a bit OLDER depending on if their birthday is in the LATER HALF of the year?

Momo: anyway, my birthday is FEBRUARY 14TH. Valentines Day! That means I'm on the YOUNGER END of a Japanese school year. It's really not THAT hard! January 1st - April 1st is the "younger end"! Cutoff dates, basically!

Momo: also, the Japanese school year begins in APRIL and ends in MARCH! Did you know my older brother's birthday is APRIL and he's confirmed 18 years old? Yeah, he only JUST had his birthday a few months ago! This series takes place... "August 15th", doesn't it??? ?? ? ..... So that means my birthday passed ONLY about five months ago!

Momo: also, Japanese high school has ONLY THREE YEARS compared to the US's four! This is significant too!! because I'm basically a high school FRESHMAN in Japan even though the US would consider me a sophomore! But, you know, I'm JAPANESE. Right ??? YEAH. I live in "Kashiwa City", I have a clearly Japanese name too!! ---

Momo: well, anyway, what happens if we take "10th grader" and subtract ABOUT "five years ago"? "Lower grades". Hmm. Maybe I'd be around... 5th grade? 6th grade is "higher grades" of "elementary school". So, for the sake of not making this MORE COMPLICATED, let's go with 5th grade!

young Momo, 5th grade: Momo Kisaragi, elementary schooler, 5th grade! Today is August 15th! I'm going to the BEACH with my DAD! It's gonna BE A FUN DAY -----

August 15th: :)

the Daze: :)

YOUNG MOMO:

YOUNG MOMO: ( DROWNING )

Momo, GAINING CAPTIVATING EYES SNAKE:

Jin, 2018 fandom era, via 2ND MANGA ROUTE: did you know the snakes possess people based on their SUBCONSCIOUS WISHES and DESIRES

Momo: ( ' OVERSHADOWED BY GENIUS BROTHER ' )

Momo: ( DOES VERY POORLY IN SCHOOL )

Momo: ( HAS BAD GRADES DUE TO THIS )

Momo: ( ALIENATED BY HER PEERS )

Momo: ( DRAWING WEIRD 'ATTENTION' TOWARDS HERSELF )

Momo: ( INCLUDING THE 'ATTENTION' OF /WEIRD CREEPY MEN/ )

SHINTARO, FIGHTING THESE MEN VIA VERY ANGRY GLARES AND RIPPING UP "LOVE LETTERS", 2ND MANGA ROUTE, FROM AFAR:

Momo: ( CLEARLY FREAKED OUT BY THE WEIRD CREEPY MEN FYI )

Momo: ( IN DANGER OF 'FAILING' HER GRADE )

Momo: (( This part is kinda complicated though because in Japan one typically DOESN'T 'Repeat' NOR 'SKIP' grades. Like, it's pretty close to IMPOSSIBLE. This is one HUGE DIFFERENCE between Japan and US school systems and cultures that a lot of people in the US / Western hemisphere REALLY DON'T SEEM TO GET. I'm [Momo] "threatened" with it anyway by my very clearly ""teacher"" KENJIROU TATEYAMA. ))

"Kenjirou"?, EARLY NOVELS ROUTE + MCA EPISODE 02: MOMO you HAVE to PASS these TESTS of your SUPPLEMENTARY CLASSES you're NOT EVEN TECHNICALLY A 10TH GRADER YET you're GONNA " FAIL " IF YOU DON'T do you REALLY WANT TO BE

"KENJIROU": "HELD BACK" ANOTHER YEAR AGAIN

"KENJIROU": YOU'LL BE ~~ "ALL ON YOUR OWN AGAIN" ~~

MOMO:

MOMO: I'LL DO IT

"Kenjirou": ( GOOD )

"KENJIROU", CLEARLY POTENTIALLY NOT "SAERU" IN DISGUISE:

"SAERU", CONFIRMED IN 2016 GUIDE WITH THE ROUTES TO HAVE "LURED" HIYORI ASAHINA INTO THE "CITY" ON THE "PHONE" EARLIER ON IN THE ROUTE:

HIYORI, INVITING *** HIBIYA AMAMIYA *** TO THE CITY VIA THE PHONE NOT LONG AFTER:

THE REST OF KAGEPRO FANDOM, NOT KNOWING THIS CIRCA 2016 FANDOM ERA:

BECAUSE, IT, WAS, NOT, TRANSLATED, BECAUSE, WE, ARE, A, V. SMALL / SLOW FANDOM DURING DOWNTIME ACTUALLY:

Jin: :) have fun

Jin: :) BY THE WAY

MCA Episode 02, "Kisaragi Attention", also via Momo's flashbacks in general via different Routes: Creepy guy showing up with "KASHIWA TALENT AGENCY" card appears. IN MCA, he's represented by a creepy bear in a suit and a musical instrument. BUT IN THE VARIOUS ROUTES, IF YOU TAKE A CLEAR LOOK AT HIS AGENCY CARD AND THE NAME ON IT...

AGENCY CARD: 'ENEMY OF NATURE' 'NATURAL ENEMY' 'SHIZEN NO TEKI-P' - B A S I C A L L Y

JIN, SHIZEN NO TEKI-P: :)

Kashiwa Talent Agency guy: Wow, Momo Kisaragi, you're so cute! Cuter and better and ASTONISHING than I expected!

Kashiwa Talent Agency guy: I'm with Kashiwa Talent Agency. I saw your accomplishments in the newspaper! You clearly have a GIFT to draw people's "attention" towards you!

MOMO, MCA ROUTE, STILL MIDDLE SCHOOL AGED, CLINGING TO MOM: ( WHO IS THIS GUY MOMMY ) ( I'M SCARED )

THIS SCENE, MCA: ( INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING )

MOMO, NOVELS ROUTE, INSTEAD APPROACHED BY 'SHIZEN NO TEKI-P' WHILE OUT AND ABOUT, ALONE, SOMETIME BEFORE HIGH SCHOOL, RECEIVING HIS CARD ANYHOW:

MOMO, MUSIC ROUTE, RECEIVES CARD, SEEMS TO CONTEMPLATE:

MOMO:

KASHIWA TALENT AGENCY GUY: ( BECOME IDOL )

MOMO:

Momo's MOTHER, ALWAYS SUPPORTING MOMO in MCA: I'll love you NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, Momo-chan, don't worry!

Momo's mother: ( SICK ) ( POTENTIALLY DYING )

Momo's brother: ( SHUT IN ) ( DEPRESSED AS HELL )

Momo's brother: ( AFTER LOSING LIKE THREE ? OF HIS ONLY FRIENDS TO THIS V. COMPLICATED PLOT )

Momo's family: ( STRUGGLING ) ( LACKING MONEY )

MOMO:

MOMO: I'LL DO IT

Kashiwa Talent Agency guy: :)

Jin: :) have fun

Azami, SPEAKING: so anyway, around 'five years ago' is when CAPTIVATING EYES snake LEFT ME, maybe,,,

AYANO, 2ND MANGA ROUTE, SPEAKING, TO SHINTARO: So, anyway, that is VERY LIKELY WHEN YOUR SISTER RECEIVED HER POWERS, I'M TELLING YOU THIS FOR V. COMPLICATED REASONS TOO,

HIBIYA AMAMIYA, H E A R I N G ALL OF THIS IN PRESENT DAY, ALSO /WITNESSING IT/ CLEARLY (IN PRIVATE) DURING AZAMI'S MEMORIES BEING SHOWN TO HIM /BY AYANO TATEYAMA/:

SAERU: :) WHEN DID I BEGIN POSSESSING / "FORMING" IN HIBIYA AMAMIYA?

SAERU: "SINCE THE VERY START" "LONG BEFORE I KILLED KIDO" "AND MET AYANO"

Ayano to HIBIYA, NOVELS ROUTE: "YOUR EYES" (FOCUSING EYES) "CAN SEE THROUGH THE 'EYES'" "OF OTHER PEPOPLE"

SAERU: :)

[c-rankin93]

SHE'S NO YOU - Ch.2

Word count: 3100+

A/N: keep in mind in know that in 2016, the 6th of Dec wasn’t a Saturday. But ignore that like I have haha! & also this was originally 2 different chapters, but I combined them & I might do that with a few more so there isn’t so many chapters.

I’m glad that people have liked the first chapter. The drama hasn’t even started Unfolding yet! ✔✔❤❤

As usual: oversee the grammar and spelling mistakes I make. I’m not the best editor 🖕

– CHAPTER TWO: BIRTHDAY BLUES –

RAE POV:

Before I knew it Monday came around, and to say that I was excited to see my babies was an understatement. It had been two miserable days of not seeing their darling faces creating havoc around the house. I missed cleaning up after them, snuggling with Ruby at night when she couldn’t sleep, cooking with Joshua when wanted to bake.

In those two days I moped around the house, cleaning spotless bench tops, re-washing all the linen in the cupboards, and having lunch with Greg on the Sunday before he went to Los Angeles to see his sister for a week.

Since the kids school was only a few blocks away I decided to forgo the taxi and pick them up by foot. I even considered stopping at a small ice cream bar to give the kids a treat. It may have been the middle of November but I didn’t mind a little ice cream here or there.

I replaced my black stilettos for some ankle boots but left my work attire on, only putting thick white peacoat and black scarf over top. I grabbed my handbag and keys from the kitchen bench before locking up.

It was a bonus that I got to work half my days at home instead of being cooped up in a stuffy office for hours on end. Being a senior architect and a boss meant I could mold my own hours and delegate my work load. My boss and owner of the company, Chloe was an incredible lady and not much older then me. When I started working for her straight after collage, her business was just starting off.

Being only 5 years my senior meant that she turned into one of my closest friends. She was there visiting me at the hospital when both my children were born, and one of the people holding me up when my marriage broke. Apart from her, and my best friend Izzy, she was the only other person I trusted that wasn’t family.

The walk to columbia grammar and preparatory school only took about 20 minutes or so, it was a nimble walk along the streets of the upper west side. Finn refused to send our children to any other place stating ‘it’s what’s best for our children’s education’ and I couldn’t agree more.

It was a private school full of privileged young youths, the tuition alone per year was more then buying a house. But when it came to their learning money wasn’t a problem. It was one of the places Finn’s company donated heavily too, he was also on the board of trustees and a former student.

I opened the door to ruby’s class room and gathered with the other parents in the corner as the teacher was talking to the students.

“Hey Rachel” whispered another mom to the left of me, she was a sweet women that wasn’t short of bedazzling herself with stunning diamonds.

“Hi Rebecca, how’s your day?” I replied with a hushed whispered and shuffled closer to her so I didn’t disturb the class.

“Oh you know same old, same old. Patrick begs me to stay at home and keep my feet up until miss Isabella makes her grand entrance, he’s like a broken record that man” she smiles rubbing her, very round tummy. I looked at the 40-something year old in amazement, her hair prim and proper, with wonderful designer clothing and a kind hearted smile upon her face. It was rare to meet genuine people in New York. It reminded me to set up a coffee date with her sometime soon.

“Listen to your husband Rebecca, Patrick’s right you should put your feet up more often. You won’t be able to do it when she comes along” I tutted and chuckled quietly at my authority.

“Yeah maybe but I’ll be so bored. I need to be doing something or I feel like I’m going crazy”.

“I know how you fe-”

I was interrupted by the feel of a tiny body constricting themselves around my legs in joy. Her little pony tail bouncing with her movement when Ruby began jumping lightly on the balls of her feet. A smile radiated my face, leaning down I wrapped an arm around Ruby’s back and cuddle my little girl close.

“I missed you too sweety” I whispered softly into her ear and returned to my stand position.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Rebecca, I’ve got to get going to Josh’s classroom” I learned over a pecked her cheek in Farwell. “Bye brody” I patted her sons head as they both smiled and waved goodbye.

After collecting ruby’s bag and coat, we headed down the hall to Josh’s class. Her tiny hand secure in mine as we walked side by side through the busy corridor.

Josh was already waiting for us by the door as he talking to one of his teachers, Mr Holden.  He was a bubbly old man, who talked years of wisdom. Josh was fond of the old guy, admired him almost. He made sure Josh kept his grades impeccable and in exchange he would tell Josh all about his time teaching in France, Ireland and Australia.

“Hi mom” beamed my little man, then said a quick goodbye to the teacher who waved at me.

“How was dad’s house?” I was a bit sceptical on how the weekend went after ruby’s little breakdown.

“Awesome!” He beamed. “We had so much fun! Dad took us out for tea, went to the park and even the zoo mom. The ZOO!”.

“It would of been better if you were there” I could barely hear the whisper that was muttered by Ruby. My heart broke again after hearing her soft words. I knew they weren’t meant for my ears, so I decided not to speak up.

We headed towards the little ice cream bar that was situated between our house and the school. Even with New Yorks chilly temperature the place was still bursting with people. It took us 20 minutes for us to place our order (Ruby with a scoop of vanilla bean and sprinkles, Josh with a scoop of raspberry swirl and I deciding on a scoop of cookies and cream). We chose to eat and walk, the kids talking about the rest of the weekend and school today and I filling them in on my lonely adventures without them.

By the time we arrived home our bellies were full and the cold finally getting to us, Ruby snuggled closer into my leg as I fished into my bag to retrieve the keys.

The rest of the night was full of laughter and a light tea before both the kids and I curled up in my king size bed and dozed off.

-

The rest of the month flew by fast and before I knew it, it was already the 5th of December. Finns mood stayed placid but he didn’t speak to me or step foot into my house after I kicked him out. He’s grumpiness was obvious on his face, but I was glad the smart ass kept his usual comments to himself.

Greg had popped over several times after work when he came back from his sisters house. He only stayed one of those nights, to which I was grateful for. Our relationship sometimes felt more like a friendship and I was comfortable with that. I wasn’t ready to give my heart to someone else after a messy divorce.

If i was being honest, I wasn’t completely over my ex-husband. I probably never will be. He swept me off my feet when I was only 18, I was new to college life and Izzy convinced me that our first week should be spent drinking until our livers gave out. I being the pushover I am agreed and somehow we found ourself at a prat party.

Finn approach me and asked me to dance, and I being a typical freshman fell for his charms and instantly in love. It was just my luck that he reciprocated my feelings and for the next 12 years out life was bliss. Until it wasn’t, until he broke my heart in the worst possible way.

Joshua’s 8th birthday was tomorrow and it was my turn to have him. I hadn’t planned anything big, but I couldn’t wait to surprise him with a visit to the Rockefeller centre to go ice skating, then to travel to my parents house over in New Jersey for a family tea. He wasn’t a fussy child and the simple things in life is what made him happy. I’m glad that even though he grew up around money he doesn’t demand to be spoilt.

I was lucky to have both humble and nurtured children. Money buys power, to which their father had Alot of, and still with the world at their feet they would rather have a simple gift then an extravagant one. I guess they inherited my way of thinking, I had always told them money can’t buy love.

-

By 7am the next morning the house was alive, the birthday boy had made sure of that. His excitement for the days events were contagious and I couldn’t help by smile everytime his eyes lit up after opening one of his presents.

Blueberry waffles were still steaming hot on the counter top as I prepared the cream and chocolate sauce. It was a breakfast I disapproved of, but today was Josh’s day and he had practically begged for days on end for them. Who was I to say no? How could I even say no?

Just as I was about to call the kids to the dinning room table the door bell chimed. I looked at my watch seeing it was only 8.14am.

'Who on earth could that be?’ I thought to myself as I dusted off my hands and made my way to the door. My Mom and Step-Dad knew we were coming to their house today, same with my older brother Robert.

Izzy surely wouldn’t be out of bed this early on a Saturday morning, plus she was at a franchise meeting in LA to both her and the kids dismay. They loved their aunty Iz, who had a habit of feeding their bellies full of white chocolate muffins. Also, Chloe was meeting us at the ice skating rink with her two bubbly children. So we weren’t expecting company.

Shocked couldn’t even describe my emotion when I opened that door to see my ex-husband and his new hussy standing there on the door step.

His impeccable dark blue wash suit was tailored to perfection as aways, hair greased back leaving it slightly wet, which could also be said about my panties.

Olivia looked stunning as always, and it made me sick. Her newly short platinum blonde hair was styled into a quirky quiff, her slim figure dressed in a perfect two toned grey and white stripped knitted dress that stopped just before her knees. She added black boots, a grey coat and a beautiful necklace hung around her neck.

I internally groaned when I assessed my own attire of, black leggings I pulled from my draw and a old, baggy OASIS top which I stole off Finn in my junior year at college. It was stretched beyond belief because of the two pregnancies I endured and the neck line kept slipping off my shoulder. No doubt my hair was still a tangled mess on top of my head, actually I was a mess from head to toe and they were the perfect couple. But just to add insult to injury, I remember that I didn’t even bother to put on a bra this morning. Great, just great.

“What are you doing here?” I tried my hardest to cover up as much of my top as I could, I didn’t want to look like a desperate ex-wife still mourning the loss of her husband. But the look in his eye told me he had already noticed what top I decided to wear.

“I came to see my son on his birthday Rae. Is that alright with you?” I rolled my eyes and ignored Olivia’s snickering. I stood to the side and allowed them both to come in, as much as I wanted to slam the door in their faces I knew that Josh would want to see his dad.

The kids where currently in Josh’s room playing the Xbox game I got him, so I excused myself to notify them that their dad was here to see them.

The moment their little eyes connected with their fathers they came running down the stairs and engulfed Finn in a giant hug nearly knocking him to the ground.

Josh started talking a mile a minute explaining to Finn all the exciting things that he had gotten already. I could see Finn smile as he watched his son, causing a small ache with on my heart. These moments are the ones I missed, when we would spend time as a family.

I knew that Finn had already given Josh his present when they had seen him after school on Thursday so I was a little shocked to see him pull two small gift box’s from his coat and hand them to both the kids. I didn’t stick around to see the cute expressions they made when they opened them, it still hurt to much.

“Dad, mom cooked our favourite breakfast today! And made home made chocolate sauce” Josh spoke excitedly, “dad, are you staying for breakfast? Please, please say you are!”

Finn, Josh and Ruby looked to me expectedly as I stood awkwardly in the kitchen. I nodded my head silently and listened to the kids cheer.

“But finny, we have a plane to catch” Olivia whined. It was the first thing she had said since she arrived, and I wished she had just kept her mouth shut.

“Liv it’s a private plane! I’ll just ring the airport and delay it by an hour” Finn spoke softly, but I couldn’t help but pick up on his cool tone. Olivia continued to whine like a 3 year old about keeping to a schedule and I didn’t have time to listen. I just continued to busy myself with setting the table.

They all gathered around my mahogany 6 seater table in the dinning room. Finn and Olivia sat together on one side, and the kids, and I sat on the other. Never had I felt this awkward in my own home, between Olivia scrunching her nose up the waffles, and the kids in a in-depth conversation with Finn, I just felt alone. This wasn’t the family breakfasts I dreamt of when I was a teen. Silently, I sat there nibbling on a few bits of freshly cut fruit. Wishing I could disappear.

“Mommy?” Ruby whispered, disconnecting me from my thoughts and bringing me back to reality, not realising I zoned out.

“Yeah baby” I cooed stroking her soft light brown hair smiling.

“Why is Olivia here?” I turned to my daughter and leaned closer to her.

“Ugh- well sweety. She is your daddy’s girlfriend and she wants to see you guys. It’s Josh’s birthday and he’s extremely happy having them here. Why do you ask?”.

“She doesn’t like us very much” Ruby muttered, “she always says we get in the way”.

I focused on my breathing, reminding myself that today was Josh’s day and I couldn’t ruin it by jumping over the table and strangling the bitch to death.

“Like I said sweetie your going to have to talk to your dad about that”.

“Talk to me about what?” We swung our heads towards Finn not realising that our conversation was being heard. I felt ruby’s small hands latch onto mine in a death grip.

“Well… Umm… I think it’s something you and Ruby should talk about that- in private” I explained sending a small smile to Ruby.

“And why is that?” Olivia butted in. I could see the annoyance etched on her face.

“Because it’s a private matter between him and his daughter that’s why” I narrowed my eyes on the witch, but kept my voice light. She had no right to butt in on this conversation.

“Oh please save me the sob story. You just want to spin lies to my Finn don’t you!” Olivia spat. Her words echo in my head over and over again. Her Finn. I felt my heart break all over again.

“I would never, ever do that! You have no ri-”.

“Enough!” Finn bellowed, his face tinted red in anger.

“Olivia, I’ll meet you in the car” Finn hissed, ignoring her complaints. She huffed and stormed off; slamming the front door behind her.

“Kids do you think I can talk to your mom for a minute?” They both nodded and went back up into room after I kissed them on their heads.

“What exactly was that about Rae!” I cringed at his toned. He leant over the table, his eyes boaring into mine. I looked away deciding the left over fruit on my plate looked particularly interesting.

“I think you need to speak with Ruby, Finn. I’ve told her too, but she is too scared” I sighed, “and that is what I tried to explain to your girlfriend”.

“I’ll deal with Olivia later Rae, don’t bring her up”.

“Why did you have to bring her here! To my house! I understand you wanting to see Josh but you know how we feel about each other. And you still-” Finn abruptly got up from his chair and walked around the table until he was standing right next to me. Yanking me by my arm lightly, Finn dragged me to my feet.

“You left me remember! You packed your shit and left with my fucking kids in the middle of my business trip. So don’t you dare go there!” He hissed causing me to flinch back.

“You were so heart broken that you moved Olivia in 6 months later” I scoffed, “you know what just leave please. This is Josh’s day! And I don’t want it ruined by a silly little argument. So please just go say goodbye and hop on that plane of yours and go… your good at that” I barely whispered the last words before I fled.

Out of all the deceitful things Finn had done to me in the 2 years since our divorce, this took the cake. I could deal with his hateful words, but for him to bring her into my home… That was unacceptable. To let her talk to me like that in front of our children. I was done.

There was no use hiding my tears in the bathroom I barricaded myself in. I needed to get this pitty party over with, because today wasn’t the day for a mental break down.

'Why wasn’t I good enough Finn?’

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@mmfdfanfic @lily-pop-2 @eveerez @i-dream-of-emus @I88cym - Im sorry I tried everything to try and tag you but it won’t work.

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