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dzpenumbra · 1 year

Text

4/1/23

It fucking snowed most of the day. Yep. But it's cool, it was a nice chill don't-give-a-fuck-sit-around-and-do-fuck-all kinda day.

At least it was supposed to be...

I caught up on sleep. At least, I think I did. Mostly. I did that yoga routine I've been liking again, that was nice. Ate cereal on the floor again. I'm trying to like... sit cross-legged more often to try to fix my hips. But then I went and spent the rest of the day working on my desire path project, and I'm looking back at it like... "well, I sat there for like 20 minutes eating cereal... then I sat in my work chair for like... 4 hours straight. At least. Does that even out?"

My hips started going to shit like... a few months after I quit smoking. Part getting older, but mostly because I'm not getting up and going outside to smoke every 2 hours. I'm just sitting still for hours at a time, tunnel-visioning and losing track of time, shifting around into different positions. I get what I like to call "one-more-turn syndrome", referencing the Civilization series, where I'm like... "I can just do a little bit more before I take a break..." And that turns into another hour. And then I look at a clock and it's 10PM and I'm squirming around because I haven't peed all day and I still haven't prepped dinner!

The flip side? I crossed the finish line. I got 100 runs done. And I recorded a few runs too, so if I choose to make a video out of this project, I have some first person footage of a few runs to use. By the end of the night (i.e. about an hour ago...) I got everything exported (all 101 layers as separate .png's) and tossed it in Blender. I think the grease pencil idea will be very doable and work pretty much how I'm expecting... I'm just a bit rusty with Blender... and... I'm going to have to trace all 100 paths one-by-one.

Instead of pulling an all-nighter and doing it tonight, which I will tell you I was very tempted to do... I am planning on doing that tomorrow.

Another cool accomplishment? I don't remember if I added it on here yesterday, but I made a supersaturated salt solution yesterday that I filtered and let settle and everything. I actually found a container sitting around that might actually work for growing seed crystals in. It was a plastic container that was made to store electrical tape. It's a bit scratched up and it was pretty dusty, but I cleaned it and... hopefully... it will do the trick. We'll have to see in a few days, I guess. The reference material I'm using for this is saying 1-2 days is a good amount of time for growing starter seed crystals... then you want to put the seed crystals in a smaller container... which I... don't have... XD But... I need to go to the pharmacy to get the meds I was prescribed anyway, so I was figuring I can check there for like... any kind of small flat-bottomed container to grow crystals in. I was hoping to go today, but I was just... not really feeling walking like 2+ miles in the snow today.

So yeah, honestly... I'm pretty sure that was my whole day.

Oh... there was... yeah...

This morning, I was updating my dating profile on Hinge on my phone and opened up my photo gallery. I haven't looked through my phone's pictures in... a long fucking time. A long time. And those pictures are archived like... back to like 2013 at least. And it was... bittersweet, honestly. There were a lot of pictures of my girls, my dog and my cat, Cerry and Maxine. They both passed within the last year, Cerry in early June, Max in early February. So, that was really nice to see them again, and relive my memories with them, and also really hard. Really hard. And I saw pictures from when I was like... way more confident. And when I had friends. Pictures with my goddaughter, when I used to babysit her. Pictures from lots of different stages of my life. When I had a pink mohawk, when I had long hair, when I was trying to be a tattooist and no one would help me finish my hours because they didn't want to train their competition, when I was all scrambled and fucked up on meds. Pictures from the retreat my counseling service sent me to because I had a weed freakout and apparently that means you send them to a 2-week program at a mental institution... And timid, wanna-please-everyone abuse-victim Me goes, "yeah, they probably know what's right for me..."

Floods of memories. 10 years in a slideshow. But what was cool... I saw very clearly an explosion of creative expression. A giant boom of art that burst out of me right after I broke up with my ex. It's like the people that have been around me just... suck up all my resources... and cut me off from my creativity. Rather than... I don't know... nurture it and amplify it. And a big example of this, that I came across?

I found a picture of one of my biggest pieces I had ever made. I still don't even know what the deal with this piece was, I was just... really drawn towards this concept and I made it. The concept was taking a big piece of particle board, probably 4'x5', and simulating a brick wall. I took that popcorn ceiling stuff and coated it for a base texture, then added textured spraypaint to it in layers of red, brown, white and black... to make what ended up being a pretty fucking believable simulation of a brick wall. Then I made a paint pen out of a shoe-polish applicator, filled it with black acrylic paint and painted a silhouette of Johnny Depp as Sweeny Todd. The movie had just come out, my bandmate was a theatre nerd so he had me watch it, and the image just... called me, I guess. I still don't really get the piece, or why I made it. It just called me, who am I to question?

So, as far as substance and meaning? Fuck if I know... As far as executing what my vision was? I fucking knocked that out of the park. It was one of my greatest successes. I mean that. It's not very often that you take on a multi-media project having never worked with several of the mediums before, and the end product comes out very true to your mind's-eye vision. That shit's pretty rare, in my experience.

And the picture I found in my phone, was that piece tucked away rotting in my parents' barn with all the rest of the scrap wood that was left over when they gutted and remodeled their sunroom.

And it reminded me of when I gave my "friend" a piece that she really wanted - a piece that she still has, as far as I know - around college graduation. It was a piece I made on an oddly shaped piece of scrap wood that had a perimeter of large circular holes drilled into it. I made it into a simulated sewer drain grate, painted all the metallic textures and rust and shit, and then painted one of my graffiti designs on top of that. So it had the effect of the graffiti design, broken up by a simulated grate with black voids between the slats, and then actual voids with the holes in the wood itself. (I did a lot of graffiti-themed work at the time.) That piece? I found it sitting on the floor in the storage pile corner of her house, behind the ladder that went up to the loft where I would sleep when I stayed over. It was sitting right next to the cat's litter box.

Would you consider those... people who nurture my creativity? Would you consider those... people who support a professional artist? A friend? A family member?

I don't. I call those people who want to appear supportive, take credit for being supportive, but not actually act supportive.

And it's taken me a very, very long time to even realize that I deserve better than this. That it's not normal, it's not healthy, and I deserve better. And I'm really, really proud to finally be able to see that clearly.

I think a problem I have in those moments is like... I know what they are doing is shitty, I know it's hurtful. I feel it viscerally. But I know I can't confront them, because they are volatile and will lash out or retaliate or make me the "aggressor" or make me "wrong" or something... And rather than seeing this as a gigantic blazing neon red flag... I convince myself that I must be misreading the situation, or that I'm setting unreasonable expectations, or treat it like it's normal for them to do this, or find some way, any way, to blame myself. I've noticed that creative people tend to be pretty skilled at creative self-sabotage... go figure, right?

But lately, I've been thinking... "why don't I see others in situations like this?" I'm sure there are plenty, truly, don't get me wrong. But like... I think the majority aren't. I don't know. Anyway, I was trying to transition to a thought, let's just fast-forward there because it's getting late. XD I think most people that are self-aware and don't have self-esteem issues, or a history of systemic abuse, or a history of being frequently manipulated and pressured and bullied and blamed/punished for shit that isn't their fault... People who don't have that history... just like... walk the fuck away and go "wow, what an asshole." They take the painting back and fucking leave. They don't even call them out on it, they don't even need to. They just go "me and my art deserve better than this," and they fucking walk.

I've gotten to a place in my life where I admire the fuck out of that.

I'd like to think that talking it out is a good way of navigating things like this. I mean that. I have tried for decades to do it. But I just have to say... when you're dealing with someone has no desire to look at the situation from both perspectives? That's honestly a waste of fucking time. At a statistical level. It's praying for a nat 20 on two consecutive rolls. It is fucking rare. It's just going to be them lashing out at you until they've dug such a deep hole that they finally storm off or give up... or them finding some way to make you the bad guy... or like literally anything but see your side. And you can't make people see your side, that's changing people. They have to want to.

So yeah, kind of a tangent there I guess... but the thoughts came up and I felt it worth bringing the perspective back on the table for my own reference and for whoever else may be interested. My loyalty, forgiveness, kindness and ability to see the good in literally everyone - this year I managed to see the good in a homeless shell of a highschool "best friend" who was smoking some kind of hard drug by a river while "in rehab", who was selling her Suboxone to her ex boyfriend for money, who lost custody of her 5 kids because of her drug problems, and who was facing felony charges for fentanyl trafficking. I saw the good in her. That ability is such a rare and incredible gift. It's a beautiful thing, and it should be cherished. But it often comes at a terribly difficult cost.

But here's the good news, if you can relate to this and you're anything like me. If you're humble and open-minded and honest, getting with a good therapist that actually understands what kind of person you are, that you click with? They can teach you some very useful shit. Skills, habits, perspective, shit like that. And... it starts with loving yourself.

It starts with loving yourself.

Because if you love yourself, you won't let others be that cruel to you; and you can find skills to ethically navigate that. Because you wouldn't let others be that cruel to your partner, or your pet, or your friends. And you set boundaries. And if people cross your boundaries or aggressively negotiate to pressure down your boundaries? That's a sign to leave.

And I'm still working on that, honestly. I really am. It's shockingly difficult, after a lifetime of... not being "allowed" to have boundaries.

So yeah, I guess I just needed to get that out.

Vibe check is in full-effect, time to reset and get some good stuff out there! XD I made potato skins with a mix of pepper jack and habanero pepper jack tonight and this habanero cheese... good lord... I am falling more and more in love with habaneros with every meal I make. I'm tempted to try to grow hot peppers indoors, if that's at all feasible without like... a crazy grow rig or some shit. I'm gonna look into it. I'd like to grow jalapenos, habaneros and ghost peppers.

Crap it got late again! XD Goodnight!

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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cdelphiki · 3 years

Text

Kid Jason and Bruce bonding over cars, 5k words of fluff, no archive warnings apply.

“Good morning, lad,” Alfred said, one Saturday morning just as Jason stepped into the kitchen, “What would you like for breakfast?”

He’d skipped ‘family’ breakfast in favor of sleeping in, which Alfred had said multiple times was perfectly acceptable. He was 12, after all, and needed his sleep.

With a smile, Jason started crossing the kitchen, over to the pantry, as he said, “Hi, Alfred. I was just gonna get some cereal.”

“Then help yourself, lad.”

Despite saying ‘help yourself,’ Alfred both got him a bowl and the milk out, but otherwise let Jason pour himself the cereal. He then traded Jason the milk for a spoon before going back to whatever he was preparing before. Kinda looked like bread. He was kneading dough, whatever it was.

“What’s Bruce doing in the garage?” Jason asked, after he’d watched Alfred for a few minutes and got through half his bowl of cereal.

Alfred rolled the dough up into a loaf shape and dropped it down into a glass pan as he said, “Why don’t you go see for yourself?”

He didn’t even look over, but Alfred must have heard Jason frown, or something, because he then asked, “You like cars, don’t you?”

“Well yeah,” Jason stammered. He did like cars, but why did that mean he had to go ask Bruce what he was doing? “I just don’t want to bother him.”

Bruce was obviously doing work or something. He had spent almost the whole week working, and then had to take Jason out yesterday, so he probably had stuff he had to get done around the house, right? With… the tools.

“You won’t be bothering him,” Alfred said, like he thought it was impossible for Jason to bother Bruce, “I’m sure he will be more than happy to tell you about the work he’s doing on his cars.”

So he was doing work then.

Just… on his cars…

Jason looked down into his bowl and scooped out his last bite of cereal, contemplating whether he would go bother Bruce.

On the one hand, Bruce had said he would show Jason his cars if he just asked.

But on the other… he didn’t know. Things were good with Bruce so far, he was kind of scared if he bothered Bruce too much, he’d ruin it.

But as soon as Jason set his bowl back down, after finishing off the milk, Alfred walked over and took it, saying, “Go on, lad.”

And, well. Jason was supposed to listen to Alfred, right?

Back at the door to the garage, though, Jason hesitated. Bruce was back rummaging through the toolbox, but his Volkswagen was moved out to the middle of the floor, out of its normal parking spot in the line of cars away from the doors.

He didn’t turn around, though, when Jason hesitatingly pulled the door open and stepped down onto the the little set of three stairs that led to the garage floor. It wasn’t until he found whatever it was, it looked like a funnel from where Jason was standing, did he turn around and notice Jason.

“Hey, bud,” he said, as he pulled a little earbud out of his ear, “what’s up?”

“Alfred said I should come see what you were doing.”

Bruce nodded and put his little earbud in a case on the work bench as he said, “Oh, well I’m changing the oil on the cars today.”

“All of them?” Jason surveyed the garage and couldn’t help but think doing something like that would take ages.

“Most of them,” Bruce nearly hummed, as he opened the driver’s door to the Volkswagen and leaned inside. A second later, the hood popped.

Jason hopped down the last two steps and walked over toward one of the lines of cars, the one with the red lambo he’d been drooling over every time he was in the garage. He hadn’t had a chance to actually look at it, though. Because every time he was in the garage, Bruce was ushering him someplace or another.

Bruce peeked over at him, but didn’t say anything when Jason put his hand down on the hood of the car. It was gorgeous. Shiny and flawless. Not a single scratch on it anywhere Jason could see.

It was obvious it was taken care of, but Jason would have never thought Bruce did the work.

“Don’t you have people for that?” Jason asked, as Bruce opened the hood on the Volkswagen and propped it open like he’d done it a million times.

With seventy-four cars, he probably had done it a million times.

“Have you seen people around here I’m not aware of?” Bruce asked, a hint of amusement in his voice as he checked the car’s oil, using the little stick thing. Jason had never actually seen someone do that before. Mostly because his parents hadn’t owned a car. He’d seen people do that on TV and stuff, though.

“No one’s mechanic lives with them,” Jason scoffed, turning fully from the Lamborghini to watch Bruce. Although Jason wouldn’t put it past a rich weirdo with a million cars to have a live-in mechanic.

Bruce huffed, what Jason assumed was a laugh, but he said, “I’m my own mechanic,” as he started messing with something in the car. Jason was kinda curious what.

“Why?”

“Is it so wrong I have a hobby?” Bruce asked, looking up at Jason finally.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” Jason answered with a shrug, “You’re rich.” Rich people had hobbies there were like, horses. Horses and… well. Jason didn’t actually know, outside of illegal stuff, obviously.

“I like working on my own cars,” Bruce said, as he walked back over to his tool box and slipped on some gloves, “At least, on the cars I can work on. Some of these are just easier to bring to the dealership.”

“Really? Why?” Jason asked, looking back around at all the cars. Bruce actually had about ten cars, mostly sport cars, “Which ones?”

“It’s all the computer systems in the newer cars, I don’t feel like owning the equipment for every single car, especially if I don’t drive that car much, anyway. And cars like the Tesla you have to get parts for on the blackmarket, and it’s far more trouble than it’s worth.”

With a slight grin, Jason asked, “So you’re saying you don’t buy stuff from the black market,” as he pointed to himself when Bruce looked over. Regardless of his intentions, Bruce had exchanged money for him. Which was technically buying a child on the blackmarket.

Bruce just rolled his eyes, though, and said, “I try not to.”

“Why do you own like ten cars?” Jason asked, as he started inspecting the other cars in the line he was at. Next to the Lamborghini was a sleek black sports car and Jason was pretty sure was a corvette. He really needed to study the symbols on cars more. It was a little ‘V’ on the hood, so he was like, 98% sure.

“There’s only nine here and one is Alfred’s,” Bruce said, like that made a difference, “and I like cars. They’re fun to collect.”

“Do you actually drive them all? You always pick the Tesla when we go anywhere.” Or that one time the Volkswagen.

Although maybe Bruce brought the sports cars out on his dates or whatever he did at night. Jason had never watched him leave or anything.

Bruce leaned back over the Volkswagen’s engine compartment as he said, “I try to drive each one at least once a month, even if it’s just around the block.”

“Oh,” he said, shoving his hands into his hoody pocket. He was wearing his Wayne Enterprises one, since he’d sweated all over the Batman one.

Maybe Bruce was right and he needed a summer hoody or something, because it was hot in the garage, too. Since the door was open to the outside and all…

Jason walked over to the open garage door and leaned back against the threshold between inside and outside and asked, “How often do you do this?” as he motioned at everything inside the garage.

“Every six months,” Bruce said, as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with his t-shirt sleeve. Then he stood up and looked straight as Jason as he asked, “Do you want to help?”

“What?” Help?

Bruce would actually let Jason help?

“Come here,” Bruce motioned with his head for Jason to come over, “I’ll show you what I’m doing.”

Jason pushed off the wall and took an aborted step forward as he asked, “Really?” Couldn’t he like, fuck up the car horribly??

Why would Bruce want him to help?

“Of course, this is a good skill to know. One day you’ll have a car of your own to take care of.”

“I will?” Jason asked, a little dazed as he did cross the garage to where Bruce was working.

Not many people owned cars, where he was from. He’d never actually dreamed that one day he’d own a car.

But maybe he should have. Because… if he got a real job, like doctor or lawyer or something, then he’d have enough money to buy one.

And if he did that, he’d probably need one to get to work and stuff.

“Of course,” Bruce said, like he hadn’t even thought the opposite. Once Jason had fully approached the car, and inched up to the side of the engine compartment, across from Bruce, he said, “Okay, tell me what all you know about cars.”

“Uh,” Jason stammered. He didn’t know much about cars, in the grand scheme of things. He’d only recently been able to research them! “Well. I know that’s the engine,” he continued, pointing to where the engine was, hiding under a cover, “And it has, uh, cylinders and pistons…”

He trailed off, but when he looked back up at Bruce, Bruce was smiling brightly, like Jason had said the right thing, so he tried to return the smile.

“Great, you already know more than most drivers,” Bruce said, as he walked back over to his workbench. He grabbed a pair of gloves and held them out for Jason as he said, “Engines have oil in them we need to change, to make sure it’s staying clean. Dirty oil damages the engine, which can cause some serious problems. Engines also burn off oil, so changing it ensures we’re keeping enough in there for the engine to work properly.”

Jason listened attentively as he rolled his sleeves up and pulled the gloves on. Bruce went to on explain how they were going to get the old oil out, replace it, and change the oil filter. He’d known kind of vaguely the basics of all that, but he’d never heard it be explained in detail.

Bruce walked him through everything, and even let Jason do some of the work. Like pull out the old oil filter and insert the oil extractor down into the car. Bruce took a step back once he showed Jason what to do, and even let Jason extract all the oil. By himself.

It was actually super easy. No wonder Bruce did his own oil changes.

While Jason was watching the oil slowly drain from the engine and into the extractor, Bruce went and got two huge bottles of oil off the shelf, which was stocked with, like, twenty bottles of the stuff.

“That much?” It looked like he had two gallons of oil, or more. Probably more. The bottles were bigger than milk jugs.

“Yes,” Bruce said, as he set the two bottles on the ground next to the extractor, “This car needs almost six quarts.”

Jason had no idea how much that was, because who measured shit in quarts?? But he nodded and watched from the side of the car as Bruce took the extractor out and slipped the funnel in, then poured the entirety of one of the bottles in.

It wasn’t until he started pouring in the second bottle did Bruce say, “Okay, I need you to pull the dip stick out and check the level.”

Jason bounced back around to the front of the car, so he could reach the dip stick. Bruce stepped to the side, further out of the way, but couldn’t go too far since he was still holding the bottle over the funnel, but it was fine. Jason could reach it just fine.

“Pull it out and wipe it off,” Bruce explained, when Jason located the dip stick, “then dip it back in. That will give you an accurate reading.”

Nodding, Jason grabbed the rag Bruce had set next to the dip stick and did exactly as told. Once he had the ‘accurate’ reading he held it up into the sun and squinted at it, trying to figure out if he was supposed to be able to tell if it was low. “Uh, it’s below the bottom dot.”

“That means we don’t have enough in there. You want the oil between the two dots.”

“Ah.” Jason nodded, and watched as Bruce poured more into the engine, a little at a time.

Each time he had Jason check the levels again, until the line was almost all the way to the top dot. Once it was, Bruce nodded contentedly and said, “That’s good enough,” and put the bottle of oil back down on the ground, “Now we just have to put the new filter in and we’re done.”

Doing that was a piece of cake. It was basically just the reverse as removing it. Then Bruce had Jason put the engine cover on by himself and they were done.

Just like that.

“Great job,” Bruce said, as he removed the stick holding the hood open, then motioned for Jason to step back so he could drop it shut. Jason jumped when the hood slammed closed, but then smiled when Bruce added, “You’re a pro already.”

“This is some people’s job,” Jason said, as he stepped back into the sunlight, shining in through the open garage door behind him, where he could get a good look at all of Bruce’s cars.

“It sure is,” Bruce said, “Mechanics is a very good field to go into. We’ll always have a need for mechanics.”

“Unless all the rich assholes start doing it themselves,” Jason said, walking along the edge of the driveway, toward the other row of cars on the other side of the garage.

Bruce huffed as he peeled his gloves off and tossed them over at the work bench. “If I crashed one of these,” he said, walking back to the Volkswagen with the key in his hand, “or the engine failed or something drastic, I’d let a mechanic fix it. I just do the routine, easy things.”

“Oh.” Jason supposed that made sense. It probably wasn’t fun if it was super tedious or whatever.

While Bruce started up the Volkswagen and backed it up into its spot, in the row of cars across the way from Jason, he wandered down the new row of vehicles.

All of the cars Bruce or Alfred drove the most were closer to the door to the Manor, so that’s where the Tesla and Bentley were. On this side was some cars Jason didn’t even recognize. He’d need to do a lot of research on fancy-ass sports cars to figure them out, too.

That was, until he stopped on the last car in the row and recognized the SRT logo on the side of the grille.

“No way,” he whispered to himself, as he circled the car.

There was no way it was what he thought it was.

He’d just seen a documentary… or four… about this car three days ago. It was an expensive car, sure, but not like million dollars expensive. It wasn’t even 100k, if he remembered right. He hadn’t been expecting Bruce to have one.

Then again, Bruce owned a Volkswagen. And this was an awesome car.

“You like that one?” Bruce asked, from across the garage.

“Is this a Hellcat?” Jason asked, before he cupped his hands around his eyes so he could try to peek inside. Sadly the tinted windows were too dark, though, so he stood back up and looked over at Bruce.

And Bruce looked… delighted. That was the only way Jason could describe it. He looked delighted.

“It sure is.”

“Dude,” Jason exclaimed, excitement bubbling up in him so quickly he felt like he would burst, “No way! What year is it? Does it really have a red key? How fast does it go? Why don’t you drive this one everywhere!”

Bruce grinned probably the most genuine grin Jason had ever seen but he couldn’t even though about it, because holy shit. He was right!!!

This was like, one of his favorite cars ever.

He’d watched four different documentaries, all on youtube, all because of the red key and how the regular black key governed the engine but the red key unlocked over seven hundred horse power.

And besides being so fucking cool that a car could go so fast, it was such a funny image, picturing seven hundred horses pulling a car.

Bruce walked over to the key lock box, up near the door to the manor, and put his Volkswagen key away. Before he shut it, though, he pulled out a bright red key and Jason just about lost it.

“Oh my God, that’s so cool.”

“Do you want to go for a ride?” Bruce asked, holding the key up, but not yet crossing the garage.

“Are you serious?” Jason asked. Bruce unlocked the doors in answer, so Jason exclaimed, “Yes!” and quickly rounded to the passenger side to open the door and look inside.

The first thing that hit him was the new car smell.

Such a wonderful, beautiful smell. Probably one of his favorites.

“This is so cool,” he whispered, in hushed awe as he slipped into the passenger seat.

There was a backseat, but there was almost no windows back there, and barely any space, and he wanted to see. Not be trapped and blind to everything happening. So Jason buckled himself into the passenger seat and just hoped Bruce wouldn’t make him move.

But Bruce just walked around to the driver door, smiling softly as he slid in and buckled himself in. “Feeling good?” he asked, as he dropped the key into the cup holder.

Good????

Jason was fucking ecstatic.

“Are you gonna go fast?”

In answer, Bruce pressed down on the brake and pressed the start button, then revved the engine loudly.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jason said under his breath, trying not to grin too wide when Bruce put the car in drive and slowly pulled out of the parking spot.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Bruce said. Jason didn’t even have enough time to agree, though, before Bruce lined the car up with the garage door and then gunned it.

Mostly because Jason was too busy laughing, watching the trees and bushes that lined the driveway speed by.

He only had to slow down a little for the gate, because somehow he told it to start opening before they got anywhere near it.

“You’re gonna get pulled over,” Jason said, through his laughter as Bruce hit 60 MPH out on the road outside the estate. On a road with a speed limit of 20.

“Probably,” Bruce agreed, obviously not caring one bit as he shifted gears and started going faster.

The car only his 70, though, before he slowed down to come to a stop sign at the end of their long, semi-private road.

“Okay, we have a couple options here,” Bruce said, looking over at Jason, “There’s a high school with a large parking lot we can play in, or there’s an industrial area with a network of roads that are deserted on Saturdays. Which do you think sounds better?”

Jason fidgeted in his chair, but asked, “Which one can you go faster on?”

“The industrial complex,” Bruce said, immediately turning the car to the left and zipping off again.

Bruce did keep the speed down, though, as they drove through all the little neighborhoods. Which was probably good, because Jason saw a few kids playing in their yards, and hitting a kid would probably be super bad.

But it only took a couple minutes before they were suddenly staring at a wide open straight road.

A huge wide open straight road, with four lanes running in either direction.

Obviously it was meant for tons and tons of traffic, but true to Bruce’s word, it was completely deserted.

“This was built up to be a large industry area,” Bruce explained, as he pulled onto the road and came to a stop right in the middle of it, “and there ended up being only two companies to move here. It’s one of my favorite places to play with a car.”

“It looks like a race track,” Jason observed, leaning forward in his seat so he could see over the dash, at the brake marks on the street right in front of them.

“It’s used as one. Ready?”

Quickly, Jason sat back in his seat again and nodded enthusiastically.

He was so ready.

Bruce smiled and put one hand on the wheel, the other on the clutch, then floored it.

Jason it thrown back into the seat hard, they accelerated so fast.

And all Jason could do was laugh.

Bruce treated the road like it’s a race track, circling it several times, making the car slide sometimes in his turns, the tires squealing as he did, every single time making Jason laugh harder.

It was the coolest fucking thing Jason had ever done.

They drove for nearly half an hour, Bruce driving around some of the smaller roads around the big huge buildings, and even doing a donut in the middle of a parking lot. Jason just knew that had to be terrible for the tires, but it was so cool to do.

So, so cool.

But eventually, Bruce did turn back to the manor, and by then, Jason’s stomach and cheeks hurt from laughing so much.

“You like this car, huh?” Bruce said, once they were going slow again, back through the neighborhoods with the kids.

“This is like, my dream car, dude,” Jason said, sitting back up to look at all the buttons on the dash. He hadn’t paid much attention to any of them. “Or, well, one of them.”

He had technically just learned about it a few days before, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t instantly become a dream car.

Bruce held a hand out, motioning at the radio as if saying ‘go ahead, mess with it,’ so Jason did.

He pressed all the buttons.

“Why is a Hellcat one of your dream cars?” Bruce asked, after Jason had figured out how to work the radio and was flipping through the seventy-billion satellite channels.

“I watched a bunch of youtube videos about these the other day,” he said, “I thought they were so cool with the red key. And badass looking too. I didn’t know you had one.”

“What are your other dream cars?” Bruce asked, as he grabbed the red key from the cup holder and held it out for Jason to take.

Happily, Jason took it and started inspecting it, looking at all the buttons in it, before he found a little switch that released the actual key from inside.

Although, obviously the car didn’t need the key. It needed the chip inside the key, that told the computer it was present.

“There’s a lot,” Jason eventually said, as he kept playing with the key. He couldn’t really think of car names, though. “I’ve seen a lot of really cool cars. I just never got to research them until, ya know. You gave me a laptop and stuff.”

“Right,” Bruce said, slowly, “What have you been researching on your laptop?”

“I saw an episode of some show about Roush Mustangs,” Jason said, as he dropped the key back into the cupholder and pulled his legs up on the seat, to sit criss crossed, “those look cool. Although your lambo is way cooler. Your Tesla is awesome, too. I always wanted to see a Tesla in person, then you had one.”

“The Tesla is my favorite commuter car,” Bruce said, as he shifted gears and sped up, now they were back on the semi-private road that led to the manor, “but almost all my other cars are more fun to drive.”

Jason nodded. He could see that, since the Tesla literally drove itself. “This one looks so fun to drive.”

“Tell you what,” Bruce said, once he reached the gate to the manor. This time, he had to come to a complete stop and type in his code and do the eye thing, “If you’re still here when you’re 15, I’ll tech you to drive on this car.”

“What?” Jason said, a little stunned. Because, “really??” He hadn’t even… thought that far ahead.

Not like that, at least. He’d only thought about getting through living with Bruce until he was 18, so he could move out and go to college.

But obviously if he was going to make it to 18, that would mean being here when he was 15 or 16, and…. well. That was when kids were supposed to learn to drive.

Why would he have ever thought Bruce would do that, though?? Teach him to drive??

That was what parents were supposed to do for their kids, and Jason was just a foster kid Bruce got stuck with, because Gordon made Bruce take him.

But, but, but… Bruce said he cared about him… so…

“With the red key?” Jason eventually asked, as Bruce pulled the car into the garage, and started slowly backing it up into its spot.

He paused, however, to give Jason a flat look as he said, “No.” He couldn’t hold the face, though, because he started laughing and added, “No way, with the regular key.”

“Aw.”

Although he supposed 500 horsepower was nothing to sneeze at.

“But,” Bruce said, “I might let you test out the red key, once you prove you’re a good driver.”

“Really?” Jason asked, sitting up straighter in his seat, trying to gauge Bruce’s sincerity.

He didn’t look like he was lying, so Jason cheered, “All right! I can’t wait to be 15.”

“Why don’t you focus on turning 13, first,” Bruce said, cutting the car off.

“Fine,” Jason whined, collapsing back into his seat dramatically. He righted himself quickly, though, to unfasten his seatbelt and hop out. “That was so cool, though.”

Bruce got out of the car himself, and just watched with a smile as Jason bounced up to the front of the car, to look at it and all the bugs they picked up.

Poor bugs, they didn’t stand a chance.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Jason whirled around, a second later, when Alfred cleared his throat from the manor door.

“If you gentlemen are done, lunch has been waiting for you for quite a while. Do come eat it before it gets any colder.”

“Sorry, Alfred,” Jason said, at the same time Bruce said, “Sure thing, Alf.”

Alfred quickly retreated, so Jason turned to Bruce and asked, “Is he mad at us?”

“Nah.” Bruce shut his door and started walking to the manor door, but stopped when Jason didn’t start moving in step. “He’s not mad, Jason. That’s the face he makes when he’s very happy and doesn’t know how to show it.”

“Oh.” He wasn’t quite sure why Alfred would be ‘very happy,’ but Jason wouldn’t complain about that.

Bruce took a step forward, so this time Jason followed along, and stopped on the steps as Bruce put the key back in the box.

“You’re really going to teach me how to drive on that?” he asked, pointing back at the Hellcat. He kind of had a hard time believing it.

“Yes, I promise,” Bruce said, smiling when Jason shot him a grin.

“All right!” Jason cheered, grinning so wide his face started hurting again. “No take backs, okay?” he said, holding his fist out toward Bruce, “Fist bump.”

Now it was Bruce’s turn to be startled, apparently, because he looked at Jason’s fist like he had no idea what to do as he said, “What?”

“You’re hopeless,” Jason groaned, slouching dramatically before he straightened up and reached for one of Bruce’s hands. “Look, it’s easy.”

Bruce lifted his hand cautiously, and let Jason forced his fingers to form a fist as he said, “Make a fist. There. Okay, now pound it.” Jason make his own fist again and bumped it against Bruce’s hand, grinning wide again. “There. No take backs, we fist bumped.”

“Uh, yes,” Bruce said, like he couldn’t figure out what to fucking say. His smile grew wide, though, and then morphed into something fonder. “I swear it, no take backs.”

Jason fidgeted, under Bruce’s stare, so he quickly pushed open the door as he said, “Come on. Alfred said lunch is getting cold.”

He didn’t want to think about whatever Bruce was thinking.

They’d just had a freaking awesome time, Jason was not about to ruin it. No sir.

So he skipped on ahead, to the kitchen where Alfred had a couple paninis sitting on the counter, and just focused on the fact that Bruce was going to teach him to drive.

In the Hellcat.

All because Jason liked the car.

How fucking awesome was that????

This is chapter 46 of Reclaiming Innocence, slightly edited to read as a one-shot. Link to story can be found on my masterlist.

#Jason Todd #Robin #Baby Jason #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Batfam #Red HOod #This is a modified chapter from a longfic #i modified it to make it read more like a one shot #and also to make it ' no archive warnings apply'#fic is called Reclaiming Innocence on Ao3 by MurtaghMorzanson (me)#c writes

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devilshomeforgiftedindividuals · 2 years

Text

Field Log. 250317 16754

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Mention of death, mention of self-harm scars (specifically on the face), brief mention of weight (underweight).

-----

ACCESSING FIELD LOG ARCHIVE...

FILE SEARCH...

250317 16754

SEARCHING ARCHIVE...

1 OF 1 FILE FOUND...

>FILE [Field Log. 250317 16754] FOUND...

ACCESSING FILE...

!WARNING!:

The file you are trying to access has redacted data, to recover the redacted data enter your key card pin.

ENTER PIN: _____

>CONTINUE WITHOUT PIN

!WARNING!:

The file you are trying to access may be corrupted, would you like to run a recovery?...

>Yes No

Running recovery...

Recovery unsuccessful...

Continue?

>Yes No

...

Field Log. 250317_16754

The data in the following log has been blocked for the safety of the doctor, staff, family and patient.

-----

Log Date: 25/March/2017

Member of Staff: Nurse Kaitlyn Amari (Level 4 MOS)

Patient no. 16754

Patient Name: ███████ ████████ ███████

-----

I was given word on Friday the 24th of March of a female possessor that had been found in a catatonic state outside of her home in █████████, Lochton at around 5 P.M.

I travelled alone to Lochton Regional Hospital on Saturday the 25th of March, arriving at 2 P.M. On the same day, I was given the task of checking the legitimacy of the hospital's claims. Initially I believed that the eye witness and hospital had greatly exaggerated the tragedy they'd come across, we have been getting a number of false call-ins as the number of Fatal Manifestation Incidents have continued to rise within the last 5 years.

My hope that this particular incident was over exaggerated was quickly silenced when I was introduced to ███████ ███████. I don't think I will ever get used to seeing the look of fear and confusion on a newly manifested possessor's face, and this girl was no exception. She was terrified when I entered the room, broke into hysterics as she begged me to let her see her mother, that she didn't know what had happened and just wanted to go home.

It was clear to me then that she hadn't been debriefed on anything that had transpired in the last 48 hours, that she was convinced that eventually she would be cleared and allowed to go home, she was not aware that her mother was in police custody and to be moved to mental health facility and that her younger brother and paternal grandmother were being moved to an undisclosed location, she had also not been told that none of her extended family had offered to collect her and act as her temporary guardian.

She was not aware that her mother had surrendered her to the state and that I was there to make a decision on next steps. Aol uval P yljlpclk myvt oly tvaoly dhz zovya huk jvsk, aol avahs vwwvzpal vm ovd Hyplssh klzjypilk oly. Tf hzzbtwapvu pz aoha zol dhz jvlyjlk puav npcpun oly khbnoaly bw iba P ohcl uv jvumpythapvu vm aopz.

When I sat down with ███████ to explain everything she started to cry again, it was clear to me that the deaths that had occurred at her hand were not something she could aptly remember or something she had planned, a common thread through most Fatal Manifestation Incidents, she did seem almost relieved, however, when I listed the two people killed. Her paternal grandfather and her father. P ohcl uv kvbia pu tf tpuk aoha aopz npys ohz zbmmlylk mvytz vm ltvapvuhs huk wofzpjhs hibzl, aol zjhyypun vu oly mhjl jhu'a ohcl illu hu hjjpklua.

After talking to her, gathering any information she had I excused myself to see if I could get in contact with some of her extended family again, they gave the same responses the hospital staff were given, they didn't want to make an eleven hour trip, that she'd be better cared for in the state's custody and that they didn't want to be involved with the case. Which was disheartening and frustrating to hear but there isn't much that can be done, and telling her as much when I returned a half-hour later went about as awfully as I imagined it would. Zol wba oly olhk kvdu huk kpku'a zhf h dvyk, aol svvr vm klzwhpy vu oly mhjl thkl tl mlls zpjr, aopz whya vm aol qvi ulcly nlaz huf lhzply.

I told her that I worked for Derben's Home for Gifted Individuals in Briar Glen and that she'd be transferred to the facility as soon as possible, that we'd be able to help her and that she'd be able to come back from this and lead a normal life. Liar. When I got up to leave the room and sign her discharge papers she grabbed my hand, squeezed it so tight, and asked if she'd see me again. She was shaking and pulling, trying to get me to stay.

I broke protocol. I sat back down and hugged her, asked the nurse to bring the papers to me instead so I could sign them at her bedside, I know we're not supposed to allow the patients to form emotional connections with us but I am only human, and I cannot continue to pretend I do not care for the children I come in contact with, I cannot continue to brush them off when I know that the comfort would be far more effective to their recovery. I am more than willing to take the penalty it will cost me.

This girl from what I can see is not a cold-blooded, dangerous killer. She is a frightened teenager who has had her entire world torn to shreds in a matter of hours with absolutely no support, our lowest level is all she should need and I doubt she'll be in the facility for more than a year.

Attached below is a full description of ███████.

-----

Name: ███████ ████████ ███████

Age: ██

Date Of Birth: ██/██/██

Location: Lochton Regional Hospital

Arrival Time: 24/03/17 5:24pm

General Appearance:

███████ stands at 4 feet, 10 inches tall (147.32cm) and weighs in at 60lbs (27.2kg), she has white skin with freckles that cover her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, her shoulders, elbows and knees. She has light green eyes and her hair is blonde, cropped short just below her chin.

Her skin shows signs of dehydration and lack of sleep, bags under the eyes, chapped lips and dry cuticles etc. She has scarring on her face, the scar tissue on the two most prominent scars is between three to four layers deep and doesn't show a clear laceration pattern but is more a concentration of lacerations in the same area. These two scars appear on the right side of her temple, travelling and expanding downwards to her jaw and the other is located on her left cheek and stops again on her jaw.

It's not clear from the injury itself what caused the scarring and ███████ explained that they started small when she was around ten or eleven-years-old, growing in size and depth overtime with no explanation, it was initially thought to be a rash and then some kind of skin-eating disease but neither theories were ever confirmed, ███████ said that the scars haven't changed in size since she was about fifteen-years-old but she does sometimes wake up to them bleeding. Svvr puav yljvykz vu alslrpulapj zlsm-ohyt?

Aside from the facial scarring and the state of her weight she is perfectly healthy and of sound mind. Through talking with her it seems to clear to me that her ability is ███████████ and that her manifestation was latent, she seemed confused by this information as her mother did not possess any abilities, I asked about older relatives but ███████ noted that her mother's side of the family has long been dead, her maternal grandmother passing away almost thirteen years before she was born.

My theory is that ███████ has experienced either a genetic mutation or a Matriarchal Ability Skip (MAS), however, there are no records I have currently that can confirm this.

-----

Under current circumstances, ███████'s case will be handed to Head Doctor ███████ Waller, with additional support given by Doctor Gino Herring, Waller will oversee ███████'s progress and facilitate her rehabilitation as per the most recent facility-wide mandate on Fatal Manifestation Incidents (FMI), I am also able to lend my support wherever it may be needed.

███████ is scheduled to arrive at the Briar Glen facility on Sunday the 26th of March at 2 P.M.

-----

Notes:

Insisted I call her by a shortened version of her name, due to staff procedures I am not authorised to carry out this request

It is unclear how much she is willing to trust unknown people, she seemed to warm up to me after talking for a while but there were certain topics of conversation that she seemed closed off to, I imagine questions and conversations about the facial scarring, her family and school will be difficult to start with.

Admitted to feeling safer because I was a woman, it may be worth having a female staff member present for early sessions until she feels more comfortable.

Is not aggressive unless she feels threatened/provoked

-----

Final Notes:

When ███████ arrives in Briar Glen she is to be escorted by three Level 2 MOS and to be handled with care, she's had a tough week. Armed personnel will not be necessary for this escort.

I have classed her as Passive Level 1 for the time being, but I doubt this level will change through her initiation. -Kaitlyn

-----

Log Signed by: Nurse Kaitlyn Amari

Date Signed: 25/03/17

Timestamp: 9:44:27PM

-----

I do not appreciate the tone you have taken in this particular log entry Kaitlyn, although it isn't exactly a shock, perhaps a well deserved break is in order?

Given the severity of this situation I will let the normally penalised behaviour go, I know our rules stipulate that we not let the children in our care become too attached as is the nature of things but I do believe that the comfort you gave, while disallowed, was beneficial to 16754's emotional stability.

I look forward to the challenge another FMI will bring us, many new things to learn. -███████ Waller

-----

Log Approved by: Head Doctor ███████ Waller

Date Signed: 25/03/17

Timestamp: 10:06:44PM

Next Chapter

#devilshome #devilshomeforgiftedindivduals #original story #field log #16754 #tw: mentions of death #tw: mentions of weight #tw: self harm scars #tw: scars #tw: facial scars #tw: mention of self harm scars

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anon-e-miss · 3 years

Text

Intransigence 10

Jazz left Smokescreen to sit with his originator for the light-cycle and retreated to his office to do some research. Smokescreen remembered the exact date his originator had come home with mechfluid leaking down his neck. There would not be any surveillance footage left but it would be enough reveal at least some things. He kept his optics on Mirage’s cameras, Garboil continued to keep his distance and elude the security forces hunting for him. Some might suggest he had fled to the nearest Con territory but Jazz did not think so and his instincts were generally good. It did not take much poking around to confirm Prowl had been serving at the same station three vorns ago. Numerous article following cases Prowl had investigated were had been well covered at the time, as his more recent ones had been as well. The enforcer had not been anymore enthused about giving interviews.

Through the use of mnemosurgery, an old science but knew as a metaforesics tool, the enforcers were able to catch the face of the killer from the victim’s memory banks. Enforcer Prowl hopes this will be the break they need to catch the Poison Letter Slayer.

The article went on to quote Prowl lambasting the media for giving fanciful monikers to serial killers and encouraging their infamy. Jazz smiled, it struck him as something Prowl would say. There were photos of Prowl printed in articles, never posed. He was always in motion, driving back to the precinct, walking through a crime scene. Where Flatfoot had stopped to pose in front of crowds of reports, Prowl had dodged them with impunity. There was a particular photo that intrigued Jazz. Prowl had been captured for eternity mid shout, digit raised as he lectured an overzealous reporter for sneaking under the crime scene tape to take a photo of the victim. Again, Jazz smiled. But then, he frowned as in the background, a figure, familiar to him, stood out. Chromedome sneered at the cameras... or was he sneering at Prowl?

He clapped his servo over his face. It was so fragging obvious, how had he not made the connection right away? Three vorns ago, he had bonded to Rewind, just before he had resigned to study at the New Institute where earned his designation, Chromedome. Before that, he had been called Tumbler. He had been an enforcer. Jazz did not know the mech well but through Jazz’s friendship with Blaster, he had been around the mech often enough to have heard stories of the toxic partner who had led let to Chromedome resigning. From the way Rewind had tensed upon the telling of these stories, Jazz had gotten the impression that Chromedome’s relationship with this partner had not been platonic, at least not always. Trusting his instincts, Jazz tug deeper into the archives.

“That’s the fragger,” Jazz declared out loud as he saw Tumbler’s designation in print alongside Prowl’s in an article covering a murder trial. It was one of those rare occasions when Flatfoot had forced Prowl to stand beside him during a press conference. On the front page of the Iacon Gazette’s Prima-tur edition, standing the shadows behind Prowl, was Chromedome.

Only Prowl’s glyph would confirm it. Checking the time, Jazz thought it was time to give Smokescreen a break. As he walked to the medbay, he took an update from Mirage. Hound had, true to his designation, caught Garboil’s sent near his abandoned habsuite, near to the far edge of the enforcers’ search grid. Jazz wished them a good hunt as he prepared to launch one of his own. Jazz kept his languid pace as Chromedome walked passed him as Jazz approached the medbay, nodding his helm as Chromedome did the same for him. He was too seasoned an operative to ever let a glitchmouse know that they were his unlucky prey. What had the mnemosurgeon been doing near at the medbay? Jazz frowned as he stepped through the doors. Might Prowl’s most imminent danger be closer to home?

“Hey Ratch?” Jazz called to the CMO.

“What have you done?” The CMO asked tiredly.

“Broken the case,” Jazz declared. “I need ya to do me a solid.”

“What?”

“Put Prowl’s room on level six clearance,” Jazz said.

“That creep spotted near the base?” Ratchet asked.

“No,” Jazz replied. “I got a lead on the mnemosurgeon that scrambled Prowl.”

“Who?” Ratchet demanded. Jazz sighed.

“I can’t tell ya,” he said. “Not ‘til I actually confirm from scrap.”

“The Autobots’ mnemosurgeons are on my staff,” Ratchet growled. “I need to know if one is rogue.”

“As soon as I can tell ya, I will,” Jazz said. “I could be wrong, ya know.”

“But you don’t think you are.”

“No.”

Level six clearance would mean on Ratchet and a select few medbay personal would be allowed in Prowl’s treatment room, apart from Jazz and Smokescreen. His treatment files would be under a tighter encryption. It could well be for nothing, Jazz’s guess could be well off but the in a casual aside, so easy to overlook, buried in the many articles covering Prowl’s career, had been the designation of Prowl’s partner. Tumbler. The stories of Chromedome’s toxic ex partner circled through Jazz’s helm. Prowl had said neither of them had behaved well. What had he meant by that. Three vorns ago, Chromedome had bonded to Rewind. They had been going through the Rites for a full vorn already. What could have happened between Chromedome and Prowl that it would have led the mnemosurgeon performing a hack and slash surgery? An affair?

“Hey Smokey, Prowl,” Jazz greeted the pair as he entered the treatment room. “‘M thinkin’ ya outta stretch yer legs Smokey. Grab some fuel. Maybe catch a joor’s recharge in my office.”

“Thank you,” Prowl said. “I have been trying to tell him the same thing.”

“I’ll keep yer ori company,” Jazz promised Smokescreen. Prowl snorted.

“Okay,” Smokescreen replied. “He’ll be even safer with you than with me.”

“I am perfectly safe, Smokescreen,” Prowl sighed. Obviously this argument had been circling around and around. “I am in the middle of the Autobot base!”

“You can never be sure,” Smokescreen replied. “You never know.”

“I’ll keep’m safe,” Jazz promised. “Catch some zzz’s Smokey. Ya need ‘em.”

“I’ll be back in a joor,” Smokescreen promised.

“Two,” Jazz countered. “Get some fuel, get some rest.”

“Okay,” Smokescreen acquiesced. “Two. Behave, Origin.”

“Recharge, Bitlet,” Prowl replied. Jazz saw his rookie’s cheekplates flush. That was, no doubt, a mechlinghood nickname. Smokescreen made his retreat as he tried to save face.

“Have you made progress with your investigation?” Prowl asked as Jazz settled into the seat Smokescreen had vacated.

“One o’em,” Jazz replied. “Tell me, Prowl, if this designation sounds familiar to ya. Tumbler.”

“You know it does,” Prowl said, flinching enough that he winced with pain from jarring his welds. “Or you would not be asking.”

“Ya was partners,” Jazz said. “He’s talked ‘bout ya, never by designation. It ain’t complimentary.”

“I am not at all surprised,” Prowl replied.

“A lil over three vorns ago, he quit the enforcers o’er a toxic partner,” Jazz said. “He had just been bonded to the creation o’ a friend of mine.”

“He was forced to resign,” Prowl corrected him. “He was caught performing mneomosurgery on a suspect. In order to protect his new mneomosurgery division, Flatfoot covered it up. He would not have been able to if the suspect had remembered. But he did not so Tumbler was permitted to resign rather than face internal affairs.”

“Ya must o’ been relieved to see ‘m go,” Jazz said. “Seein’ the mech that raped ya every shift woulda been a wakin’ memory purge.”

“I do not know that he raped me,” Prowl replied, sinking into the medberth. “I do not remember.”

“I was talkin’ bout the mnemosurgery,” Jazz corrected, sombrely. “But ya ain’t.”

“I know we interfaced,” Prowl said, flatly. “I just do not know if it was only consensual.”

“What do ya remember?” Jazz asked.

“We argued,” Prowl replied. “I was angry. We had interfaced. I remember. I was leaning on my desk and I was angry because his bonding crest fell out of his subspace. He had told me he had called it off.”

“How did he get his needles in ya?” Jazz asked.

“I turned by back to him,” Prowl said. “I may have told him to leave. I may have threatened him. I was angry. I remember being enraged. I remember having my face pinned to my desk as his needles cut into my helm. I can hear, in my memory, I can hear cursing and grunting. I do not know if he spiked me after or during the mnemosurgery. I do not know if fragments of memories are superimposing on others.”

“Ya feel like he did,” Jazz guessed from Prowl’s posture.

“I do not know,” Prowl replied. “My spark was racing the next mega-cycle. It felt like it did when I was trying to kindle with Smokescreen. I had an implant but they are not reliable against merges unless the other spark is also outfitted with an implant. I knew Tumbler did not have one. He did not see any need. We never merged. It was a sore spot for him. He thought, considering I had an implant and a plug I was being fussy. My armour was scuffed... It could have been from struggling. I had a baffle installed just in case.”

#anon-e-miss writes #intransigence #victim blaming #rape #date rape #mind rape #abuse #tf prowl #tf jazz #maccadams #valveplug

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grahamfolgersdeliciousnotebooks · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2 of my Fake Dating au is up! Read the latest chapter below, or check out the whole story on AO3!

For the second time in two days, Martin lay awake in bed, far too early in the morning, regretting his decisions. He envied the Martin of 24 hours ago, whose only concern had been the prospect of lying to his entire family. That was, in retrospect, infinitely preferable to his current position.

He tried to tell himself it wasn’t so bad. He did genuinely enjoy spending time with Jon. It was an opinion that confused Tim and Sasha to no end, but one he nevertheless held. Jon could be nice, sometimes, in his own stiff, awkward way. And funny. And really, really cute.

And that was the real problem. Jon was cute, and Martin knew it, and so far Jon was oblivious enough not to notice that Martin knew, but there was no way that state of affairs would survive the two of them pretending to date. Martin was going to slip up, and Jon was going to realize how he felt, and then, best case scenario, Jon was going to give him a lecture on appropriate workplace relationships before choosing to never speak to him again, and worst case scenario, he was also going to find out that Martin had lied on his CV, and fire him.

Martin knew that laying around and wallowing wasn’t going to help anything. He’d have to face Jon eventually. Still, he took his time getting dressed, staying in the safety of Document Storage for as long as he could.

By the time he entered the bullpen, Jon had left his breakfast on his desk and disappeared into his office, allowing Martin to preserve the fantasy that he hadn’t actually asked the boss who hated him - who he secretly (or, well, not so secretly, if Tim and Sasha were to be believed) wanted to date - to pretend to date him. Perhaps it had all been some strange stress dream. Maybe he hadn’t lied to his mother. Maybe his cousin wasn’t even getting married.

That fantasy was able to last right up until Tim and Sasha came into work.

“So,” Tim asked immediately, “How’s the fake boyfriend?”

“Morning, Tim,” Martin replied tetchily, choosing to pointedly ignore the question. Tim didn’t let it go.

“What’s wrong? Fake trouble in fake paradise?”

“Already?” Sasha asked, “You didn’t even get to enjoy the fake honeymoon stage!”

“Do we have to do this right now?” Martin groaned.

Tim and Sasha looked at each other, coming to a silent agreement, then back at Martin.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Martin sighed. He was going to have to play the I-almost-got-eaten-by-worms card. “Look, guys, things have been really hard lately - I lost my apartment, my favorite jumper got covered in worm juice, and yes,” he dropped his voice, keenly aware that Jon was in the next room, “I agreed to fake-date the one person that I would most like to real-date. Who is also my boss. Who also hates me. So can you please not make things any harder than they already are? Please?”

Tim visibly deflated, puffing a sigh out through his cheeks. “Alright, you’re right. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll limit myself to one joke a day.”

“That’s a pretty big concession, coming from him,” Sasha pointed out. Martin fixed her with a halfhearted glare that prompted her to add, “And I promise to only make jokes if they’re going to be really, really funny.”

Martin let his head fall to his desk with a thunk, groaning into the wood, “You two are the worst.”

They were the best, and Martin knew it. He didn’t know what he would’ve done without them, after Prentiss. They’d gone with him (along with Jon) when he went back to his apartment to see what clothes and toiletries he could salvage, they dragged him out of the Archives at least once a week to make sure he was getting some fresh air - taking him out for dinner, or drinks, or, occasionally, just a long walk - and though neither of them would admit it, someone was making sure there was always a box of Lady Grey in the breakroom. They were wonderful. They were absolutely invaluable. But they were also, sometimes, the absolute worst.

Like, for instance, when Sasha mused, “You know, I think we’ve all been too focused on the fact that Martin has a crush and not enough on the fact that Jon cannot lie. I mean, remember the Game Night Incident?”

“What Game Ni- oh,” Tim said, suddenly bursting out laughing, “Oh, Martin, you are so screwed!”

“What are you talking about?” Martin asked.

Tim stifled his laughter just long enough to say, “Remember? Game night at Sash’s? We played that spy game?”

“I don’t-” Martin started, before the memory slotted into place.

Oh. Oh no.

***

Jon almost hadn’t come to Game Night. It had taken a lot of cajoling, plus a few articles about Team Building and Employee Morale and Workplace Cohesion sent to his work email before he’d agreed that it might not be the worst thing in the world.

And it wasn’t. Even Jon had seemed to enjoy himself as they all sat around Sasha’s flat drinking wine and playing board games. Jon had been surprisingly good at Jenga and surprisingly bad at Cluedo, and it was a welcome relief from the tension that had pervaded the Archives, even back then. Martin, for his part, had decided to risk a headache, just this once, and was well on his way to getting wine-drunk for the first time in years when Sasha explained the rules to the next game.

“This one’s a hidden role game,” she’d started, “We’re each going to get cards that have a location and a role on them - so, for instance, if the location is Pirate Ship, my role might be ‘Captain,’ and Jon’s might be ‘First Mate’ - but one person’s card is just going to say ‘Spy’ - no location, no other information. We’re going to take turns asking each other questions and answer in character, and the spy’s goal is to figure out what the location is without giving away that they’re the spy. Everyone else’s goal is to figure out who the spy is without giving away the location. Does that make sense?”

They’d all nodded and looked at their cards. It ended up being quite fun. Tim had, predictably, gotten way too into the roleplaying aspect, while Jon stubbornly refused to roleplay, causing the two of them to spend most of the game slinging accusations at each other. Meanwhile, Martin had been the spy three times in a row, and won each time, leading Tim to proclaim that he was “worryingly good at lying.”

When the fifth round started, Jon had been riding high after finally successfully unmasking Tim as the spy. Tim, as the spy from the previous round, got to ask the first question of this round, and he turned to Jon with a spiteful grin.

“Well, howdy there, sir,” he’d said in an awful imitation of a Southern American drawl, sending Martin and Sasha into a fit of hysterics. Tim’s fake accents had gotten progressively more ridiculous over the course of the game, and Martin and Sasha (helped in no small part by the wine) had gotten progressively more giggly in response. “Say, do you work here all year?”

The grimace Jon had made in response to Tim’s accent fell away, replaced by wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights panic. He opened his mouth. He closed it. He opened it again, throat working but no sound coming out. Finally, he blurted out, “I’m the spy!”

Tim, Sasha, and Martin had erupted at that, laughing until they couldn’t breathe, laughing until it hurt, all while Jon tried tipsily to explain himself.

“You were obviously looking for a specific answer, and I just, I couldn’t- How was I supposed to answer that?” When the others kept laughing, Jon folded his arms across his chest and glowered at them with all the seriousness he could muster - which wasn’t much, all things considered - and muttered, “Where were you, anyway?”

None of them were recovered enough to speak, so Tim simply flipped over his card to reveal that they’d been at the Amusement Park.

That had effectively ended the game, as they all knew Jon couldn’t lie to save his life, and they’d moved on. One hour and several glasses of wine later, the four of them were sitting on the floor around Sasha’s coffee table playing Settlers of Catan . While Tim and Sasha debated the terms of a sheep-and-wheat-for-brick trade, Jon had turned to Martin very abruptly, eyes wide, voice stricken, and moaned, “I could have just said, ‘I don’t work here!’” His voice was low enough that the others didn’t hear him, and his eyes were just a bit unfocused with alcohol, but the expression on his face was so open and sincere and so obviously pained, and that was the moment that Martin had started to fall for him.

***

“I should just call this off, right?” Martin asked, “There’s got to be a polite way to say, ‘You’re a terrible liar and I don’t trust you with this.’ I mean- I mean, that’s obviously not the polite way to say that, but there must be a polite way, right?”

Before Tim or Sasha could answer that question (presumably in the negative), Jon came out of his office.

“Martin, do you have a moment?”

“I’m a-actually a bit busy,” he said, frantically tapping his keyboard to wake up his monitor before Jon could come over and see it.

“Right.” Jon fidgeted, glancing at his watch. “Look, it’s almost noon. After you finish what you’re working on, what do you say we discuss logistics over lunch? I seem to recall you liking the cafe across the street.”

“Oh.” Most days Jon barely remembered to even eat lunch, so the fact that he’d agreed to put his work down long enough to take a proper lunch break startled Martin so much that all he could think to say was, “A-Alright.”

“Good.” Jon nodded to himself, and the frown of concentration he’d worn since he came out of office faded slightly, as if this conversation were a difficult task that he was happy to tick off his to-do list. “Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

With that, Jon left. Tim opened his mouth to comment, but Martin warned him in a whisper, “You already used your one joke for the day.”

***

Jon brought his bag to the restaurant. Martin hadn’t really noticed it when they left. If he’d thought about it, he would have guessed that Jon kept his wallet in the bag, or perhaps that he didn’t want to leave his laptop in the Archives unsupervised now that he’d caught on to Sasha’s disregard for privacy and her, as he dubbed them, “hacker tendencies.” He wasn’t expecting Jon to pull out a notebook as soon as they’d taken their seats and open it to a page scrawled with what appeared to be extensive notes. He dug a pen out of his bag as well, and tapped it restlessly against the paper.

“So.” He said it as a statement - not a segue, but a sentence unto itself. “When is the wedding?”

“The 7th of May.”

Jon hummed and made a note in the notebook. Then paused, apparently doing some mental calculations. “That gives us, what, 6 weeks?”

“Give or take.”

“Right.” Jon flipped through his notes. “I had some thoughts about our backstory, though of course I’d like your input.”

“Okay?” Martin wasn’t sure exactly what he’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this level of preparation.

“I think it would be best to stick as close to the truth as possible - we met through work, we’ve known each other a little under a year, et cetera et cetera.”

“Fair enough.”

“Now. Who asked who out?”

Martin’s mind blanked. He’d been so worried about the general idea of pretending to date Jon that he’d never considered the specific horror of crafting the entire alternate history of their imaginary romance.

“U-um.” He took a breath, steeled himself. He could do this. “I did. After my birthday party. I found your lecture on emulsifiers endearing.”

Jon looked up, opening his mouth as though to say something, then snapping it shut into a tight frown. “Right.”

Martin realized belatedly how sarcastic that last comment might have sounded, but he wasn’t eager to explain exactly how un-sarcastic it was, so he kept his mouth shut and watched as Jon wrote that down with a bit more ferocity than was necessary. After a tense moment, Martin added, “A-and that would have been about - about four months ago, which I- I think is a good timeline. Y’know, long enough to be serious, but not so long that I’m a horrible son for not mentioning you.” I’m a horrible son for other reasons, his brain filled in for him.

A waitress dropped their food off at the table. Jon ignored it in favor of pouring over his notes.

“How do you feel about physical affection?”

Martin was very proud of himself for not choking on his water. He swallowed, then asked, “What?”

“Well, if we’re impersonating a couple, we'll probably want to appear at least a bit physically affectionate. And it’s important to set boundaries in these things.”

“R-right.”

“I can start, if you like. Hand-holding is fine.” Jon’s voice was business-like, almost bored, as though this were a very strange performance review. “I also have no problem with you putting your arm around my shoulders or waist. As for the rest…” he broke off delicately, and his professional affect cracked just slightly. “I am… open to the prospect of kissing. But I’d need advanced warning.”

Martin’s mouth went dry. “Right. W-what kind of advanced warning?”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Jon said, and yeah, by the state of his notes he’d been thinking about it a lot, “We need some sort of non-verbal signal. The best I could come up with was this.” He reached out and tapped two fingers once, twice against the back of Martin’s hand. “Do you think that would be discreet enough? A-and distinct enough?”

“Yeah, that should work. But, how- how would you signal whether you’re okay with it or not?”

“I suppose I could tap back?”

“So, like…” Martin reached out and tapped the back of his hand once, twice, and Jon turned it over and tapped once into Martin’s palm.”Yeah, I think that - that should be good. It’ll be more subtle when we’re not sitting on opposite sides of a table.”

Jon made another note. “And what about you?”

“Oh. My b-boundaries are, erm, similar I guess? I’m fine holding hands and- and hugging, but I’ll definitely want some warning before you kiss me.” A few seconds later, when his brain finally caught up with the words his mouth had spoken, he added, “I-If you kiss me, that is. We’re not - we don’t- ” Jon looked to be too busy writing this down to notice Martin’s distress. Probably for the best, that.

Jon nodded to himself. “Right. Right, that all sounds good.”

He had barely glanced at his plate, and Martin was about to mention that his food was almost certainly getting cold when he turned the page, revealing yet another page of notes.

“Another thing that occurred to me during my preliminary preparations,” he said, and Martin was briefly distracted by the revelation that these were only his preliminary preparations, “Is that it might be a good idea to practice before the event itself.”

“Practice?” Martin asked, mind whirling with the possibilities of what that could entail.

“Go to events posing as a couple,” Jon clarified “Preferably events where we don’t know anyone and wouldn’t be too embarrassed if we were found out.”

Martin couldn’t imagine a situation in which he wouldn’t be embarrassed by other people to find out that he was lying about dating his boss, but he let Jon go on.

“I noticed that a flat not far from the Institute has gone up for sale and is hosting an open house. We could attend, pretend we’re interested in moving in together…”

“Look, Jon, I really appreciate that you agreed to do this - and-and all the preparation you’ve done,” Martin interrupted him, “But I think this might be taking things a bit too far. I should just tell them that something came up and my boyfriend can’t come-”

“No, I can do this!” Jon protested, his usual dry demeanor giving way, momentarily, to something oddly fierce. He reigned himself in quickly, and his next words were perfectly professional. “I think practice would do us both some good. And, in any case… It might not be the worst thing in the world for you to spend more time out of the Archives.”

“You’re one to talk!”

“Yes, well,” Jon waved a hand at himself, “Another advantage of my plan. I know that periodically going out and lying to strangers with me isn’t anyone’s idea of an ideal social lie, but given the circumstances…”

“I could do a lot worse,” Martin agreed. He pushed what was left of his food around on his plate, taking a moment to process the conversation. They were doing this, apparently. Jon was… oddly dedicated to the plan. And, though Martin still couldn’t shake the feeling that this would be a trainwreck, having things work out was starting to feel a bit more like a possibility, however faint. “Well, if that’s everything…”

“Not quite,” Jon said, flipping through his notebook until he reached a page covered in questions, with space left beneath each one. What followed was a delirious half-hour in which Jon asked him questions ranging from “What’s your favorite color?” and “Do you have any siblings?” to “Would I be jealous of any of your exes?” and dutifully jotting down his answers. As their waitress came back several times to refill their glasses, Martin couldn’t help but wonder what she thought they were doing. It must have looked, from the outside, like a very strange first date.

When the check came, Martin reached for it.

“Let me,” he said, but Jon was already pulling it towards himself.

“No, no, I’ll pay. I was the one who asked you.”

As they gathered their things and left the restaurant, Jon said. “We should, um. We should do this again sometime.”

And Martin knew he was saying that because they hadn’t gotten through all the questions on his list, but he still felt his cheeks warm just slightly as he said, “Yeah, we should.”

#tma #the magnus archives #tma fic #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin fic #jmart #jmart fic

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fortruthseekers · 3 years

Text

REFRESHER ON MY INSIDER SOURCES: BTW, this is Purv aka @p-redux. This is my original Tumblr blog I’ve revived to archive past source info.

In 2014, I first posted my insider source info. I didn’t have a Tumblr blog, so I posted everything on my old Twitter account, all the details the sources gave me then. The fandom, especially shippers, went into an uproar because my source info sunk the ship. The SamCait ship had barely started sailing and I sunk it before it had made it out into open sea. Shippers have never forgiven me for that. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Throughout the years, I’ve reiterated my source info, but summarized it because most people had already heard it, and I didn’t see a need to keep rehashing it. The more time past, the more it became clear Sam and Cait weren’t a couple, and that the info I had shared with the fandom AHEAD of time was true. Cait was seen with Tony a lot. And Sam was seen with different girlfriends or dates. But since I’m turning this account @fortruthseekers into an archive account, I’m going to post the original source DETAILS again, for newbies. This post is going to be LONG, very long, because I go into detail. Read it if you need a refresher on what I said previously about sources, or if you’ve never read the source details before. Click on Keep Reading to find the rest.

Okay, so about sources. REAL sources. I live in Los Angeles and used to be in the industry many years ago. As a result, I still know people in the industry. And just by living in L.A., you meet people who know celebs. In 2014, I got who I call “my original industry source” through a friend who knew I was watching Outlander. And she thought it would be cool for me to talk to this industry person who had Outlander connections. My friend put me in touch with her so we could talk about our common interest. Initially, me talking to the source was just to schmooze about insider info, I wasn’t planning to make it public or create a celebrity insider info account. But I was surprised about how much she knew. At the time many people, including myself, thought Sam and Cait were most likely a couple, when the source told me she knew for sure they weren’t, I was floored. Then after she told me all the details of her interactions with Sam, Cait, and some of the Outlander cast, and the fact that she was friends with one of Cait’s besties, I knew I’d hit a huge source of info.

At first, the source didn’t want me to make the info public, she didn’t want to get in trouble, but she thought it was important that people knew the truth about whether or not Sam and Cait were a couple. She figured if they knew, then people wouldn’t get their hopes up and be disappointed when Sam and Cait became more famous, and would inevitably be seen with other people. As I said, that original industry source is good friends with one of Cait’s female best friends. And because she’s in the industry, she also had a connection to Sam through his talent agency. So, she had insider info on BOTH Cait and Sam. Jackpot.

Because I knew her full identity and knew I was talking to the real person on her real and blue check verified Twitter account, and my friend had introduced me to her, I could trust that her info was legit. She is also Instagram blue check verified and has made a name for herself in the industry. People would be shocked if they knew who she was. SHE is the one who told me 100% Sam and Cait were not dating and that 100% Sam is not gay. At first, she didn’t want me to post things publicly, but I begged and she finally relented, as long I would swear I would keep her identity private and would leave out some identifying details.

So, in 2014, I went public with all the details she told me. And through the years, EVERYTHING she told me turned out to be true. I didn’t have a Tumblr blog at the time, so all my source info was posted on my old Twitter account. I posted every detail of what she told me and I also posted some of her DMs with permission, and name blacked out. Unfortunately, all that is gone because I deleted my old Twitter account a long time ago.

The main points were: Sam and Cait weren’t a couple and never have been. When I said to her that I knew actors were different than regular people, but that when I saw Sam and Cait talking about watching the wedding scene together, while drinking a bottle of wine, that there was no way they didn’t hook up at some point. She said she’s been around a lot of actors and said Sam and Cait are both natural flirts and very touchy-feely people, and she didn’t see anything out of of the ordinary in their interactions–she reminded me their behavior is the norm when promoting a show.

She also said Sam isn’t gay per people she’s talked to who know him. She knew the director of Batman Live, the live show Sam starred in years ago. The director was a gay man, and when she asked him if Sam was gay, since he seemed too good to be true and was so good-looking, he said no. And he said he and other crew who were hoping Sam was gay were disappointed that he was straight. The director told her that the reason Sam didn’t seem to have much of a dating history, was because he had always been focused on his career and on working out. And that because he was traveling with the show, there wasn’t time for a committed relationship. Later, we found out that Sam had indeed been dating a woman named Katie Rebekah, but they broke up because she moved from London to Australia, and Sam started to tour with Batman Live. That’s the info I got in 2014. If Sam was gay, the gay director would have told my source and squeed about it.

This source used to work between New York and Los Angeles. She was in New York for one of her TV shows during the July 2014 premiere of Outlander and hung out with Cait and Cait’s bestie, as well as some of the other OL cast and crew. She also had some business meetings with Sam in NY. She confirmed Sam brought Amy Shiels as his “plus one” to the premiere and even skipped out on an unplanned event the cast was invited to because he “had a date.” When they saw him the next day and asked him how his date went, source said Sam replied “It was great!” Even though this source got info from Cait’s bestie…the bestie kept quiet about Cait and Tony, and simply said that Cait and Sam weren’t a couple….I found out about Tony from someone else...more on that later.

This source did share some info about what Cait thought about Sam. She said that Cait cared about Sam as a costar and friend, and they got along very well. But Cait said Sam was not her type, that Cait didn’t date actors, and that Cait referred to Sam as “a bro,” and that Cait was not into guys who spent so much time in the gym. She said Cait genuinely liked Sam as a person, but there was not more to it. And that Sam was just a big flirt, and that they were both trying to promote Outlander as much as possible because they knew it was their big break.

This is also the source who told me that Cait’s friend, the one the source is friends with, didn’t particularly care for Sam. To be very clear: I don’t feel this way about Sam, Cait doesn’t feel this way about Sam, and my source doesn’t feel this way about Sam. In fact, my source said Sam “was lovely” to her and “a sweetheart.” But one of Cait’s besties, just ONE FRIEND–not plural, the friend said that she thought Sam “could be self-absorbed,” and “douchy.” ONE of Cait’s friends said this. No one else said this. And that was way back in 2014. I’m sure Sam has matured since then, as people tend to do as they get older. BTW Cait has a lot of close friends, some of which aren’t well known to fans. Reiterating: Cait doesn’t feel that way about Sam, the source didn’t feel this way about Sam, and I, Purv, don’t feel this way about Sam, nor have I said anything like that about Sam.

Back to Sam being a natural flirt, remember, even Cait said “he could flirt with a lamppost.” Well, my source said that the times she saw Sam at business meetings, he was always very nice to her and would greet her with a big bear hug, tight enough that she could feel how hard his chest was. He would look down at her, right into her yes, hold her gaze, and smile big at her. And this was a woman he was not interested in romantically. He was just being friendly and sweet. Imagine how high the charm wattage is turned up for a woman he IS interested in. No wonder that Samshine has been hard to resist. This is also the source who said that Sam would always say goodbye to her by saying his now ubiquitous “Let’s get together for a wee dram when you’re in Scotland.” Of course, that “wee dram” never happened. I think that’s just Sam’s people pleasing qualities coming out, never wants to disappoint anyone. The source also said whenever he would text or e-mail her for business related stuff, he was always super enthusiastic and used a lot of exclamation points !!!!!!

Anyway, my original industry source “broke up” with me years ago because she didn’t want to chance anyone finding out who she was, as Outlander got bigger, and as she got bigger in the industry. I still sometimes look at her Twitter and IG all nostalgic, remembering when it all started...ah, memories...

My second major source was my Tony family source. My Tony source is someone from Glasgow who was friends with someone I’d known for awhile. My friend put me in contact with her. The Tony source approached me to tell me that she was shocked to find out a relative of hers (later found out it was her brother) had revealed “the lead actress from that new show Outlander is dating Tony McGill.” She was shocked because she and her family have known Tony and his family for years, all of them growing up in and around Glasgow. Her brother went to school with Tony and his brother, Joe. She then told me the whole backstory of Cait and Tony. She wanted me to keep the info to myself and she had no motivation or intention of making it public. But she finally agreed, after I gave my word that I would protect her identity and I have.

What she shared with me in late 2014 is that her brother found out their friend, Tony was dating Caitriona Balfe. At the time she said they’d been dating for about 9-10 months, that’s why I always put the start of their relationship around March 2014. She was told that by December 2014, the relationship was “dead serious” between them and that Cait had spent Christmas 2014 in London with Tony and his dad. And then Tony had flown to Ireland with Cait to spend New Year’s Eve and New Year’s with her family and friends (we’ve all seen the pic and video on Donal Brophy’s IG). My source said that Cait and Tony had been friends for 9 years or so at the time (again, this was told to me in 2014) and had met years ago when Tony rented out a room to one of Cait’s friends. They hooked up briefly back then and then remained friends, until it turned romantic again around March 2014. The source said that she and her family knew Tony and his family from back in the day, and she told me what school Tony went to in Glasgow (something I haven’t and won’t make public). She said that Tony had moved from Glasgow years ago and had been living in London for awhile (again, this was told to me in 2014). Also, that he and his brother owned a bar/live music place in London, The Library in Islington (they later opened a second one, The Reading Room, which Cait posted from on IG) and a music production company. And that prior to that, Tony was the band manager for some Scottish bands, most notable, The Fratellis. She described Tony as “fun, clever and hysterically funny.”

The Tony source came into the picture after I had my Twitter account up, where I was posting insider info given by my first source. I had already posted that Sam and Cait weren’t dating. This second source is the one that filled in the missing puzzle piece I didn’t know was missing and told me she knew WHO Cait was dating. I would have NEVER known the name Tony McGill associated with Cait if not for this source. He was on no one’s radar. And he wasn’t on social media. This source told me details only an insider would know. And I also had her full identity, so I knew she was legit as well. Then ‘lo and behold Tony started showing up places with Cait. There is NO way I would have known about Tony without this inside family source. No way. Of course after my source told me about him, I did look him up online and there was hardly any information about him. Never in a million years would I have linked Tony McGill with Cait on my own. And I mentioned Tony McGill way before he started showing up places with Cait. How could it be that I said sources told me Tony McGill is dating Cait, and then a man identified as Tony McGill is seen out and about with Cait? The only way I knew about Tony is because the source told me.

Back in the day, when Cait and Tony weren’t yet living together yet, people wondered how they made their relationship work given the sometimes long distances? Well, when they first started dating around March 2014, Cait was filming Outlander Season 1, so Tony would go to Glasgow or Cait would go to London on weekends. Then when Season 1 wrapped and Cait went back to L.A. (where she had been living) in late Sept. 2014, Tony went to L.A. to visit her in October 2014 (both their birthdays are in October, Cait Oct. 4 and Tony Oct. 12, not Oct. 14 like some have said. Libra/Libra bond!). The Fratellis were also in L.A. Oct. 2014 and Tony helped them out with some business stuff, even though he was no longer managing them then. Then, as I’ve already stated, Cait and Tony spent time together Dec. 2014 and January 2015 for the holidays. Then Valentine’s Feb. 2015, Cait flew to London for the opening of Tony’s 2nd bar, The Reading Room. She posted a pic on IG. Then in April 2015, Tony flew to NY to join Cait for the premiere of the second half of Season 1. Eyewitness sources saw him sitting with Cait’s friends at the screening and then with Cait and her friends inside the after party. There was one PUBLIC pic on Twitter of Cait, Tony and Sam. And I and others have been shown private pics of Tony there. Many of us have seen them but we couldn’t make them public because they show the location where they were taken, thus identifying the source who took them, and she would get in trouble with her boss. After that, in May 2015, Cait went back to Glasgow to begin shooting OL Season 2, and this time, she brought her cat, Eddie with her. Per more than one source, Tony pretty much lived in Glasgow after that with Cait. One person who went to Tony’s bars in Glasgow and then reached out to me, said that she had asked about Tony and was told “he doesn’t come around much anymore because he moved back to Scotland.” They then moved into their new place in Glasgow, move out of that one and into a new one in Glasgow, and also have a place in London, and are now married and had their first son. THAT’s how Tony and Cait made it work.

My Tony source also parted ways with me, also due to fear of being found out. She didn’t formally break up with me, the way the original industry source did, she simply ghosted me. But I also see her pop up on Twitter or IG sometimes and get all wistful. Oh well...

After I posted the insider info from BOTH these sources, then people started to contact me with source info. They knew I was Anon and would keep them Anon--win/win. People who went to Hollywood parties, or premieres, or meet and greets, people who saw celebs at the market, or baseball games, or the beach, or at the gym, or walking down the street, or just happened to be at the right place at the right time, started sending me info. From all over the world, wherever Sam and Cait were. And if I could confirm it to be true, I would post it. If I couldn’t completely guarantee it, then I’d say it was speculation. And that’s what I still do. Granted, back in the day, I was somewhat naive, and did get burned and betrayed a few times. I admitted when that happened. I’m much more careful now. But for the most part, the MAJORITY of the info I’ve posted has been ACCURATE. People who have been here for years can corroborate that. I don’t post everything that is shared with me though. And because my sources are actual real humans, they can’t know everything or be everywhere…I don’t always get minute by minute info, that doesn’t mean I don’t have real sources.

As for me also being the first to let the fandom know that Sam was dating Abbie Salt in 2015...I had a couple of Abbie sources. One of them turned out to be super sketchy and once I figured that out, we parted ways. My Abbie sources approached me after I had already established my account as an insider info sharing account. The motivation was to debunk that Cody and Sam were still seeing each other since they no longer were, and Abbie had started seeing Sam.

BTW: as an aside...I was also the one that, through an eyewitness source, told the fandom that Sam and Cody Kennedy had gone to the Matthew Morrison Halloween party in October 2014, and the source had seen them kissing while waiting for the valet to bring their car around. You don’t know the LENGTHS that Extreme Shippers went to to disprove my source. They even Google Earthed the driveway from the street to the valet and measured it trying to prove that my source could not have seen where Sam and Cody were waiting for their car. Hahahah omg. Except, my source wasn’t on the street, she was right next to them. After all the bullshit from ES, it’s a wonder I’m still here, but here I am...the strongest bitch you’ll ever meet. But I digress...

Anyhoo, back to Sam and Abbie. I had no idea Abbie Salt existed or that she had dated Sam before and was friends with him…until my Abbie source contacted me to tell me that Sam was no longer dating Cody Kennedy and had resumed dating Abbie Salt. Abbie met Sam years ago when her sister, actress, Charlotte Salt starred with Sam in “A Princess For Christmas,” they dated briefly then, and then rekindled their romance in early 2015. Cody Kennedy’s mom later confirmed this by posting publicly in response to a fan Sam and Cody had broken up because “Sam went back to his old girlfriend in London.” Abbie lives in London. Again…I was surprised because I had no idea…but all the info checked out and then whadda you know, Abbie started showing up in Glasgow…in Sam’s flat (IG pics since deleted)…in L.A. in February 2015 at the London hotel, West Hollywood seen and photographed by an eyewitness for Oscars Week parties (the pic is of Sam and the fan, taken by Abbie, fan said Abbie was super sweet)... n NY when he was there for the OL premiere April 2015 (she posted on her IG, since deleted the pics), in Miami when he was there (eyewitness and Miami source proof that they were in Miami together, and NO that was not me, it was a source) and in Barbados together (Barbados source confirmation, and NO that was not me, it was a source, and pics from Abbie and Sam Tweeted he had been in Barbados). After that, Abbie was in Glasgow and Sam in London, where Abbie lives, on several occasions…not to mention she was photographed as his date in Monte Carlo for the TV Film Festival. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the Abbie Salt sources told me about AHEAD of time, then started to spend all that time with Sam. I didn’t even know Abbie existed, how would I have ever known anything about her without sources?

I also told the fandom about Mackenzie Mauzy and Sam dating via a source who saw them in person, holding hands and leaving together at a Guns N Roses concert in Los Angeles April 1, 2016. A friend of someone I know in L.A. was there and recognized Sam. He told my friend that he’d seen “that Outlander dude, Sam Heughan holding hands with a blonde, leaving the Guns N Roses concert.” At first, I thought it may have been Cody Kennedy, but afterwards, sources came forth to confirm it was Mackenzie Mauzy. Later on, I was contacted by a different Mackenzie source and given more info, which I posted. That Mackenzie source ghosted me too because Mackenzie was probably asking questions as to who was doling out info. Also, by sheer providence, a fan was in the stands at the Dodgers baseball game in June 2016 and sent me a video of Sam and Mackenzie at the game together. Another source sent me the video of Sam and Mackenzie leaving their hotel together at San Diego Comic Con. I’ll repost all that in the archives. And someone I’ve known for years on Tumblr and trust completely came forward to share that she found out Sam and Mackenzie had broken up from one of Mackenzie’s relatives who live near her. Again, that was also by chance. Life can indeed be stranger than fiction. The relative told her Mackenzie wanted to get married and have kids and Sam wasn’t ready for that yet, so they broke up. That source came forth and identified herself on Tumblr, so that also proves my source info was legit.

In summary: I was the FIRST to let the fandom know Cait and Sam weren’t dating, Cait was dating Tony, and Sam was dating Abbie, and Sam was dating Mackenzie BEFORE anyone else knew. You can’t do ALL of that simply by scouring social media posts as haters would have you think. It’s just not possible. And reasonable people understand that.

Before Covid-19 hit, people who were attending industry events would contact me and say “Hey Purv, I’m going to the PCA, or the TCA, or the GoldenGlobes, or the Outlander Season premiere and after party, I’ll give you the scoop!” I’d say “Cool, thanks! Send pics or video and let me know what and who you see.” That’s it. No social media searches or data mining needed. There is no conspiracy involved. No one is “feeding” me info from Sam or Cait’s camps or non-shipper or shipper sides to propagate a certain “narrative.” It’s just different people, who are at the right place at the right time, or are privy to certain insider info, sharing it with me because they know I post info for fans who are into that. As I’ve said ad infinitum, I am quite simply THE MESSENGER.

Any questions, send me an Ask or a Direct Message on my MAIN account @p-redux Thanks!

#purvarchives #source #sources #realsources #samheughan #caitrionabalfe #p-redux #fortruthseekers #amyshiels #codykennedy #abbiesalt #mackenziemauzy #tonymcgill

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physicalturian · 3 years

Text

[G] Gentle summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader - Part 2

[Contains spoilers from the movie, and the manga] [No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]

Words : 10 317

Archive of our own

Warnings : Blood / Injuries / PTSD

--- Part 1 -

I do not care. I do not care. I kept repeating to myself when I felt the two little hands nudging my thigh. My name was called in the hope of waking me, little did they know I was fully awake but did not wish to wake up. I was trying my hardest to keep my eyes shut, it was in vain when Naho mentioned him, “The Wind Pillar has arrived at the mansion and is looking for you, he seems to be in a foul mood and-“ “No need to say more, this man is always in a foul mood but I will get him. You can leave, thank you Naho,” She gave me a curt nod and stood up, pausing mid-way to the door when she giggled and smiled at me before looking next to me and hurrying off.

Something was holding me back from fully sitting up. It was heavy, and as I tried to move my hand I realized it was wet. Slowly turning my head, I covered my mouth to hold back a laugh. The sight was hilarious, Kyojuro was laying the lower half of his body on the futon while the top half was on the tatami. His hand was still holding mine, but he was now resting his cheek on it too, drooling. As much as I found the situation adorable, it worried me that he was laying on his stomach. “Kyojuro, would you please wake up?”

I patted his cheek to get him to react, nothing. Pinching it lightly did nothing either. “It is still morning, do not make me yell,” I mumbled as I hesitantly ran my hand through his hair. It was soft, with a lot of knots, but still enjoyable if I did not thread my fingers, that is. “I have a lot of patience, but as cute as this is, you are sleeping on your stomach and I will not have it,” Without much gentleness, I slipped my hand out of his, earning a sleepy grunt from the man when his cheek hit the tatami. Looking at the time, I hurried to help the man back on his back and onto his futon, then left the room after putting my futon away once I made sure his wound was alright.

Knowing Sanemi, he would not give me time to get changed once I’m in his vicinity, so I made a detour to get dressed in my kimono, without forgetting my sword, before going exactly where I knew he’d be. There was no way to deal with this man with gentleness, usually Shinobu or Aoi would take care of the Pillars when I was busy but not him. They did not want to waste time with him.

Entering the dojo, I did not knock to warn him of my presence, I slid the door open with force before closing it the same way. “You are bleeding over the tatami,” I stated to the man who was training, blood dripping from his open wounds. My stare was not one of someone afraid of the violent man, but of someone annoyed to the bone. “I wouldn’t be here if you had arrived sooner,” He snapped, slashing more decoys, his eyes ever so filled with rage.

“I am here now, stop moving,” Aoi must have sneaked in earlier to put the necessary to treat his wounds, which explained the tray with medical necessities. While Rengoku did not listen to me out of air-headedness, Sanemi did not listen out of spite. He had heard me perfectly well but was being his usual self. It’s with a sigh that I unwrapped the additional sash around my waist and used it to tie my sleeves out of the way, “Why is it always like this with you?” I asked once I was done.

He faced me with a maniac grin, “It’s more entertaining like that, come at me,” it was always the same. The man was fully aware his wounds needed treatment, but if the attention was not given the moment he arrived at the Butterfly Mansion, he would go on about his life, untreated. Using brute force was the only way to get him to stay put, and that’s what I did, it was not a serious fight, far from it. No breathing technique were used, a simple sword fight. But even with a gash on his arm, Sanemi was strong, he was an amazing swordsman.

The loud clash of the metal colliding was repetitive, consistent, it was accompanied by long sounds of the same metal as our swords slid against one another. The closeness of our faces was paralleled by our swords pushing with force against the other. “I have barely woken up, I am in no mood to entertain you any longer, just drop your sword,” I grunted, trying hard to match the force with which he pushed against my blade.

“I don’t care,” He pushed once more then stepped back, when I almost tripped, I still caught a glimpse of the wince that flashed on his face before disappearing. “You are weak,” He spat, running at me again, I did not step down. “I might not be a Pillar, but I am not weak,” I said casually, this time gaining the control as I pushed him back, holding my sword with one hand as I moved my free one to grab his arm roughly. It made him moan in pain, but he did not let go of his sword.

“You play dirty-“ “It is to match the state you put the dojo in,” I said playfully. As humorous as I was trying to be, I knew he was going to stop fighting soon enough to let me treat him, but I did not appreciate the disrespect of ransacking this place for entertainment. “It’s just blood, who cares,” He shrugged, stepping away from me as he let his sword drop by his side, sheathing it away.

Mirroring him, I did the same, my back facing him as I took the tray from the ground and joined the man’s side. He had slumped down on the ground gracelessly, his sleeve rolled up, “Clearly, you are not the one cleaning it. Are you not aware of how hard it is to get blood off the tatami straw?” He simply rolled his shoulders in response, looking away as I treated his wound. I knew here and then that the conversation was over, there was no surprise; The length of our interactions could be summarized to aggressive banters, not that I had any say in how it went. I simply knew how to deal with the man.

“You have frightened the girls, and you have made of this place a mess,” I started, while packing everything, “Apologize to them on your way out,” It was not a question, it was a command. I was not in any power to do so, I was not Master Ubuyashiki, Pillars were not my subordinates, but I liked to believe they respected me enough to listen to me when I’d tell them they’re in the wrong. The odds of the Wind Pillar excusing were slim, but I found solace in knowing I tried. No one can change a stubborn man, not even kindness, not when he seems so keen on being wilder than a boar.

With a huff, he left, but the door did not close. As I stood up, I saw a blond mop of hair outside, “You have awakened, did Tanjirou make a lot of noise when he woke up?” I asked the lightning user. Zenitsu had a strange way of using his breathing technique, but was a skilled fighter, nonetheless. It did not show in the way he held himself. Stammering, the boy stood straight, “Tanjirou said that- big brother- I mean, the… Rengoku woke up? Can-“ He was pushed to the side when the face of a boar was now in front of me, “Can we see him! Gonpachiro saw him-“ He was very loud, and very energetic, it was too early for this.

Placing a hand on both their shoulders, I smiled kindly, “He needs some rest,” They sighed, so I continued, “The proper way to start the day would be the morning meal, let us eat, then I shall see if Kyojuro is awake,” After asking them if it sounded good to them, the two boys nodded and sped off. Somehow they managed to turn their breakfast into a competition, which threw me off slightly but at the same time made me smile. I was glad to see them well after the events on the train. While I was not there, I knew they had fought bravely and assisted the Fire Pillar with honor. Strong fighters are those with strong hearts, but a strong mind plays a big part too… let’s see how long they’ll last… I thought darkly.

Aoi told me she’d check on everyone while I had breakfast, she argued it was to compensate the morning setback and to help me release some stress from having dealt with the Wind Pillar. I told her it was alright, but she insisted. It was odd but appreciated. What was even more strange was when I joined the kitchen, I was quickly shooed away by Sumi. “Kiyo will bring you to your room!” “Sumi, I know where my room is, would you please tell me what you are up to?”

The young girl shook her head as her friend held my hand and pulled me in a direction. I did not need to read minds to know where she was bringing me, “Kiyo, this is not my room. It is-“ “You’ve spent the night there! Even if it’s a secret, we’ll help you out!” She whispered excitedly as she knelt by the door and slid it open, gesturing for me to get in. I crouched down to her level and used a gentler voice, to show I was not mad, “Has he given his permission for you to do this? It’s his private chamber, and he is also in need of rest-“ I stopped talking when she looked down, her hands on her lap as she greeted someone shyly, with a lot less familiarity than she would if it were me.

Looking to my left, I was being towered by the warm presence of the Fire Pillar behind me, “Thank you, young Kiyo!” The girl nodded and hurried off, but I was able to catch a glimpse of her reddening cheeks as she disappeared off. “A fine morning! Thank you for coming, I was not sure you’d agree,” Rengoku said as I entered the room, closing the door behind me.

“Before you say anything, I haven’t done anything!” He said in a defensive manner, laughing softly as he showed me the trays on the veranda. “This morning Shinobu visited,” He paused as he showed me he could sit down without much help, I smiled to myself at the determination he put in all of this, he was also proud of showing his improvement. The Pillar seemed to have seen it, he looked up at me and grinned, “Within a few days, I will be able to go everywhere with you-“ He cut himself off when I made a curious face. “In a sense of going on a date with you, I do not plan of following you around the mansion,” He said, chuckling.

While he said so, his cheeks were brightening. The sun was not yet to blame since it was not on this side of the building yet. Huffing a laugh, I knelt in front of him, our food separating us. “I see nothing wrong with having you around me a bit more, I find you very calming,” Bowing, I wished him a good meal as we then both started eating. He did not, however. He looked at me with bright eyes, “You do?”

Chuckling, I nodded, “I do, yes, even when you talk a bit loudly it is enjoyable to be around you,”

Rengoku hummed, the smile on his face growing wider and wider by the second. “I feel the same about you!” He told me, as he tied his hair back to get it out of the way as he ate. To that, I laughed as I finished my bite, hoping the warmth in my cheeks wasn’t showing. “Maybe it is biased by the fact that I took care of you many times, have you considered that?” Yes, I accepted his courtship, yes I found the man beautiful in all aspects… and yet, I was trying to make him change his mind. Was part of me thinking I was not worth his attention?

I shook the thought away and tried, at the same time, to avoid staring at how gorgeous he looked with his hair tied back. “It is fantastic that you can take care of people! I myself am clumsy and come back with a lot of wounds, but that is not the reason why I like you,” He paused, about to shove the biggest portion of food in his, already full, mouth. I placed a hand on his, making him look at me like he was caught red-handed. “Sorry,” He said it in a way that was muffled by the food and how much he had in his mouth but I still smiled.

When he swallowed he put chopsticks down and held one of my hand in both of his, “It’s the way your eyes light up when doing the things you like the most, it’s the way you carry yourself everywhere with such grace-“ “Grace is a big word, wouldn’t you say?” I said.

“To me it’s grace! If it’s not, you still look stunning every day, but I find you the prettiest when watching the sun set. It sends my heart all over the place to see you smile-“ His compliments, while kind-hearted and genuine, were becoming too much for my erratic-beating heart. I carefully pried his hands away from mine and covered his mouth, lifting myself on my knees a little to reach his face. “Your point has been made, Kyojuro, I shouldn’t have assumed you were biased, I get it”

Under my hand, I could feel his lips turning up, his smile broadening as he moved my hand from his face, “I’ve changed my mind!” He exclaimed, letting go of my hand. Quirking a brow in response, I wondered what he meant by this. His eyes weren’t leaving mine, his smile turned more smug than joyous, while both were positive feelings, I couldn’t help but feel my body react someway. “The sight of your bashfulness might be a prettier sight than that of your face under the sunset’s golden glow,”

Any hope of hiding how flustered I was, was gone after he opened his mouth. The funny feeling inside my chest was not leaving, if anything it was reaching for him, but I did not. Looking at my food, I chuckled nervously then said, “I will have to take a look at your wound, you rolled on your stomach during the night. I was rushed this morning, I did not have time yet to do so,” When Rengoku laughed, oh so beautifully, I looked at him with a frown. It was in no way threatening, but I tried hard to keep some ounce of dignity.

“This is serious, I hope it was worth it. I even had to drag you back to your futon,” Nodding fervently, he took a sip of tea to help the food pass then beamed, “It was absolutely worth it, I got to hold your hand. I would have expected you’d have let go during the night, but I am overjoyed that you did not,” His sincerity was off-putting and welcomed at the same time, I tried to match it to no avail.

“I did not want to let go, I was here to help you sleep after all, was I not?”

“I’d like to think you enjoyed my company too, you are free to leave whenever you wish!” It was not some passive-aggressive speech, it was honest. And it was sweet too, he deserved some back. “I will be staying until you are fully recovered…” I trailed off, hesitating to add more, trying to make it sweet but I did not know how, then I spoke, “It was a peaceful sleep, I trust you slept well too? After all, you did end up sleeping on my hand and drooling on it, I felt you must know about it,” It was his turn to be embarrassed as his face turned a different shade.

He swallowed, with some struggle, and quickly said, “I am sorry for the drool! I slept very well, I had to come closer because you tugged my arm during your sleep, it was adorable,” I covered my mouth to avoid spitting everything out and finished eating before reacting, “Have I done that, now? That…” I wouldn’t know much of what I do in my sleep, it was quite exceptional to sleep this close to anyone. Ever since I started the slayer training I have had no opportunity to share a bed with anyone. There was no denying what he had said, nor had he given me any reason to distrust him.

“Well, perhaps I will bring my futon closer next time. I wouldn’t want you to end up on the tatami once more,” I trailed off. Noticing he was done eating, I did not give him time to react and grabbed my tray, “I will be cleaning everything up, sorry for intruding. Kiyo brought me here, she-“ “I asked her to bring you! I wanted to eat breakfast with you, has she not told you?” Clenching my jaw, I threw a glare at the door, although I couldn’t see anyone I knew one of the three younger girls was waiting outside.

Sighing in resignation, I put everything down and sat next to the Fire Pillar after moving the pillow. “She made it seem like it was her idea, I felt a bit uneasy interrupting you. I also thought you were still asleep,” Kyojuro hummed, wordlessly telling me to continue. Looking to the side at the flamboyant man, I smiled and placed my hand down, close to his, “I think I like the idea of you trying to have the girls’ attention for such a small endeavor. It is cute,”

“You think I’m cute?” He did not seem shocked, it sounded more like he was making sure he heard right. Though I was persuaded he knew he heard right since he was smiling proudly at me, “Among other things, yes,” I tried to give off an air of mystery, and it seemed to have worked since it piqued the man’s interest. “Among other things? I wonder what else it could be,” He was thinking deeply, his chin resting between his index finger and his thumb. Reaching for the ribbon in his hair, I untied it and freed his mane, I was in awe at how much his hair was tangled.

Quirking a brow curiously, Kyojuro asked, “Do you prefer it undone?”

I laughed, “My preference does not matter, but have you considered combing your hair?” He shook his head, “It gives some volume with the knots!” I did not know who had planted that idea in his head, it was odd, and I was not expecting him to say that at all. When I stood up, he stopped me by grabbing my hand, “Are you leaving already? Will you return tonight?” My heart soared, the pleading look in his eyes turned me into a puddle, but I kept my composure and huffed a laugh.

“I am not leaving; I believe there is a comb in the cabinet. If you’d allow me, I’d gladly untangle that mane of yours. You will not lose volume, I promise,” There was a glimmer in his eyes when he smiled and went to stand up, fortunately I was next to him when he started falling forward. I quickly took hold of his arm and held him back from hitting the floor. Helping him back to his feet, I inquired, amused, “You are wearing a jinbei, on what could you have tripped?”

“Well- Maybe it was a technique to get closer to you?” He smiled at me, he had been doing so a lot recently, and goodness was I weak to it. Not just his smile, but his presence, his laugh, his pretty face… that was getting closer now. I did not look away; I matched the intensity of his gaze but couldn’t find the proper words to reply. Of course, I wanted to get closer to him, but what would the others think? Was it a good time to do so? A lot more was to come, and we could not allow distractions. My eyes darted to his lips, I knew it, but I quickly averted my eyes to look at the pillow on the ground.

“Let’s get you seated so that I can check your wrappings,” I whispered, gesturing for him to sit down. Rengoku made a confused sound but did as I suggested; Once seated, he leaned his head backwards to look at me, “As comfortable as this jinbei is, would it be problematic if I wore my kimono?”

Glancing at him as I made my way to him, fresh wrappings in my hands, I nodded, “Once I’ve changed your bandages, you can do whatever you’d like- unless it’s training. That is still off-limits… However, seeing how fast you’re healing, I might let you train tomorrow.” I told him as I gestured for him to lift his shirt. The Pillar leaned back on his elbows after having undone the tie of his jinbei, his bright eyes observing each of my movements. It did not look like it, he seemed to be simply fascinated by what I was doing but I could see he was thinking of more.

To get his mind off of whatever was going in his head, I prodded, “Are you not excited to be training-“ Suddenly, my hand was gripped when I was about to uncover his wound, a frown painted on his features the Fire Pillar did not move. Rengoku Kyojuro was a man of many talents, being the most optimistic in this mansion was one of them. Never had I seen him without a smile or confidence. Even at this very moment, the look on his face made me want to pity him, his features were serious but seemed to be hiding some pain, it was not a sight I relished in, but he was not asking for pity. Instead, I gave him time.

When he did not let go after a few minutes, I grabbed his hand with mine that was not tightly held in his large one. “Kyojuro, are you alright?” His hand did not move, so I gently pried his fingers away. As I started doing so, he came back to me and let go of my wrist, quickly after, he threaded his fingers with mine and brought my knuckles to his lips. “I apologise, I don’t know what came over me. I’m-“ He chuckled nervously, breathlessly, but I think I knew what happened. But was not going to mention anything, so, instead I brushed my thumb over his cheek.

“We’ll say it was a technique to hold my hand, right?” His cheeks flushed red, his warm hand clenched mine a moment, the prettiest laugh escaped his lips as he looked down shyly. “Well, I’m definitely not against it… But you might need both your hands if you want to take care of me,” He let go of my hand and leaned back once more, his eyes still looked distant as if he was trying to force himself to not look at the wound. To help him, I talked as I removed it, “Do you like fireworks? There will be some in the village nearby, and while you probably can’t go there yet, I know a spot where we can see them,” There was no need to mention that the spot was on the rooftop of the mansion.

At least not yet.

“Fireworks are great! I remember, I would bring my brother to our small village’s festival. It wasn’t grand at all, but we had a lot of fun. He used to be scared of fireworks, he’s not anymore.” He winced a few times as I cleaned the wound, but I listened intently. Looking up, I asked, “Were you?” he lifted himself from his elbows to help me wrap the bandages and quirked a brow in a question-like manner. “Were you afraid of fireworks?” “Oh, not at all! I always liked them, I always loved how everyone would agree on it being the most beautiful thing during the festival. It would always bring everyone together- and it’s also, like a painting in the sky,” His gaze set on mine, a serene smile on his lips.

“It’s also a great moment to spend with someone you care about, wouldn’t you agree?” Keep your composure, do not look away. “I agree, it is in three days. Will you be available?” Extending a hand to help him up, he took it. I was glad he did not pull me down to him, only accepted the help. Once standing, he gave me a curt nod. “I will be. Even if I had some plans, I would make time for you,” He made a gesture as if he was whispering a secret, leaning forward, “Being bed-ridden gives you a lot of free time, but let’s not mention that,” I laughed at his antics, realizing we were still holding hands. In my head it was quite simple, if I did not mention it, he would not let go. So that’s what I did.

“It has benefits indeed, not all bad…” He must have seen my eyes dart to our hands, even for just a second, I thought so when he squeezed his hand and his smile broadened. Not moving from our spot, I changed topic, “You mentioned Shinobu visited this morning, I believe we did venture off topic, but is she back? I have not seen her,”

Just as I asked, a gentle voice was heard next to us. I should have let go of Rengoku’s hand, but instead I simply hid our hands behind my back as we faced the face in question, “I have returned for a while, yes. I trust Aoi has been doing good work?” Shinobu’s eyes darted to the Fire Pillar’s stomach then back at us, “Would you like me to take care of your wound while I am at the mansion?” She asked in her beautiful voice, her expression as neutral as possible. She would always seem deadpanned if not for the smile gracing her features all throughout the day.

The golden-haired man shook his head fervently, “I am feeling great!” he added that I had been doing a great job at taking care of him and that he would only allow me to take care of him.

The woman’s face turned to me, a more sincere smile on it, “Is that so?” “Aoi and the girls are shy around Kyojuro, that is all,” I explained as composed as I could. She turned to look at Rengoku, throwing me a side glance, “Kyojuro, hm? How cute, I will be checking on Sanemi, then. I am sure you will be enjoying one another’s company the best you can, yes?” Before she disappeared, the Fire Pillar made sure to make it even more obvious of what was going on when he grinned, “I will definitely be enjoying every second of it,” Then like a gust of wind, Shinobu was gone.

“She has indeed returned; I should help her out with Sanemi. He was in a foul mood when I saw him earlier,” I said, letting go of Kyojuro’s hand as I made my way to the door. His eyes darkened suddenly when I paused at the door, about to tell him something. I held my tongue. “Has something happened with his brother, again?” He asked, seriously.

I shrugged, “I never ask, I am only the person in charge of calming him when Shinobu is not around. He scares Aoi and the girls, he might be a kind person deep down, but I do not have time to spare on his immature attitude.” Perhaps it was too sincere, after all, Pillars probably all got along. At least, most of them, I knew for sure that the Fire Pillar got along with all of them some way, I never knew how he did so, however. Humming, he joined me by the door, “I will pay him a visit, if I am allowed to leave this room, that is?”

Laughing, I slid the door open, “Of course you can leave the room, I would ask of you to take the crutches in case you get tired on the way. One of the girls will be bringing you your kimono, I’ll let you get changed,” When I lifted my head after giving him a curt bow, his lips were on my cheek as he pressed a tender kiss on it before pulling away smiling. “Thank you, will I be seeing you tonight?”

The nerve. This man, how could he? Be this adorable, after kissing me. Was he not aware of how fast my heart was beating, of how I wanted to pull him closer for more? That was not proper, but I relished in the idea of being in his arms. Shaking the thought away, I kept my mouth shut until I found the proper words, that were not pure gibberish and finally opened it to say, “I will be training this afternoon- without any mission, I need to keep in shape… If you’d like to do the same as yesterday, you are very welcome,”

He nodded. “Gladly! I will be visiting Sanemi promptly, I’ll make sure to be at your training on time,” We both stood by the door, unmoving, looking at each other. It was longer than socially appropriate, but I felt the need to do something, anything, I did not wish to leave him yet. Leaning in quickly, I pecked his cheek before hurrying off, “I will see you then, take care,” My hand held the hem of my attire, I did not want to look back and see his expression. Would it be shock? Satisfaction? Happiness? Perhaps was he flustered? I told myself to not look back, but my self-restraint was not what it used to be.

Just one glance, I thought as I looked over my shoulder. The sight that greeted me was more than enough to reassure me, he was covering his mouth in an excited-way, his cheeks reddening. This was good, this was worth it- Still not having looked away from the Fire Pillar, I bumped into someone and apologized just as fast. “Kanata? Is there a problem with Master Ubuyashiki?” I asked as I stabilized the child with both of my hands on her shoulders, she showed me the letter destined to Rengoku.

“I see. At the end of the corridor. Is it urgent? Shall I gather-“ Cutting me off, she shook her head, “A personal exchange between the Fire Pillar and the Master, I will be leaving now,” With a curt nod, she quickly left. I watched her go, dazed by the interaction. But I did not let it linger on my mind any longer, bumping into her helped me straighten my ideas. I still had things to do for the rest of the day and could not let the beautiful man make me lose focus.

Among other things, I had to make sure the Wind Pillar’s report was adequately done. I trusted Shinobu to write hers with care, but everyone knew Sanemi did not have the soul of a writer, nor the patience of one either. Once this was done, I was going to check on the other wounded, but Shinobu was already one it. She was, after all, in charge of all this. She had taught me some things but was more versed in that field than I was, yet she allowed me to stay by her side today as she did her round.

We did not exchange much, being focused on taking care of everyone. I stopped following her once we reached the three new recruits’ room, a lot was happening there, they were all very awake. “Aoi will be taking care of them, they need to learn how to breathe properly. I will make sure everything goes smoothly, you can leave,” She nodded curtly my way, dismissing me, but I stood there. “I need to exchange a few words with them, after that I will make sure to leave them alone to that they can focus on their training,”

She agreed, bowing me farewell as she made her way out. I did not bother to knock considering how loud the boys were being, the odds of them hearing me were very low. “I see you are both very energetic, you will be able to see Rengoku later in the afternoon. He has to have a talk with the Wind Pillar first, but I’m sure he’ll be very happy to see the three of you,” Looking at Tanjirou, I smiled knowingly, “Perhaps avert from jumping on him this time. He did not mind, but he is still in a bad shape, no matter the smile on his face, understood?” The young brunette nodded, blushing slightly in embarrassment.

Turning around, I faced the two others, “And you two,” They paused their shenanigans, “Tame yourself, tone the energy down a notch. I do not know where you found all that enthusiasm, but I know it’ll disappear quick enough once you’ve started your breathing training,” With a curt nod, and a mischievous smile, I left them, ignoring the slight fear in their eyes. Only one of them had determination, as if he had been challenged, and that was the boy with the birthmark.

Staying at the Butterfly Mansion too long brought boredom, I’ll admit. I could not fill my days with training, as much as I wanted. It would make my hands calloused, and I would be exhausted too fast, so I would read. Trying to learn more about the demons, reading reports from the Pillars before they were sent. Yes, it was not made to do so, but I was curious. And it kept me busy, I also made sure to put them back in place every time. They never saw any difference.

One time I got caught, but the Mist Pillar did not care. He stood by the door, then left without a word. It made me refrain from doing so for a few days, then I began again.

Sometimes I would help taking care of the big mansion, but the girls were not the fondest of the way I did things and tried to keep me busy too. Fortunately, most of the time I was away, but when I wasn’t, it was for a longer period than I liked and staying put was a drag.

I managed to stay busy and did not see time pass. The afternoon arrived quickly, and once I got changed, I knocked on the wooden beam next to the shoji door. I waited until I heard his voice telling me to come inside, his kimono was half-way opened, the sash keeping it closed on the lower half. While my first thought was that he looked the most beautiful like this, I also calmed myself down for he was exposing his entire upper half quite a lot. It’s not that I had never seen it, but the mood between the person taking care of the wound and the wounded, was not present.

Instead, it was just two people, alone in a room, which brought a different kind of intimacy than the one from a caretaker. Looking aside subtly I spoke up, “Are you aware this is not the proper way to wear a kimono?” I asked jokingly as I made my way to the veranda, walking past him. The steps of the Pillar echoed behind me as he joined my side. “That is true, but it is so warm today,” He pulled out a fan from the inside of his attire, making me confused for a moment but I did not ask.

“You should have taken it in consideration before asking to wear it, then. Should Kiyo bring you your jinbei? I am sure it is clean by now.” He shook his head fervently then gestured at himself, grinning, “I am handling it properly,” I ogled, he brought the attention to his chest, what else could I do but enjoy the sight? And enjoy the sight, I did. So much he caught me after I stared a bit too long, “Is it distracting you?” He asked with a grin, returning to fanning his face. Turning my face away, I chuckled, “Absolutely not,” It was bolder than usual to ask me such a question, which made me wonder…

Throwing him a glance, I could see his cheeks were slightly redder than usual. While it could be put on the account of the heat, I couldn’t help but ask, “Kyojuro, have you drank?” I had my answer when he laughed loudly, turning it into something shyer when he stopped. “You have a keen eye. I am not drunk yet, but I drank some sake with Sanemi, it had been a while since I had done this,” He hummed, content. His eyes were focused on the horizon as he pondered, nostalgia filling his gaze. My heart seemed to like seeing him happy, I could feel it beat faster.

Clearing my thoughts, I stood up, sword in hand, “You should be careful, the sun makes the alcohol take effect a lot faster. You should drink some water, Kyojuro,” Chuckling, the man stood up and made his way towards me, smiling ever so reassuringly. “You are worried, it is very cute,” My cheeks flared up, but I didn’t say anything as he continued, “But I am not nearly as drunk as to make any mistake, I would say I am tipsy at best,” His eyes trailed on my face a moment, meeting my curious ones for a moment before looking down. He turned back, laughing to himself before clearing his throat, “Let’s begin, shall we? Perhaps would you like to work on hiding your presence?”

Right, training. Straightening my back, I focused on holding my sword properly and took a few deep breaths to calm down. How can I calm down? Had his eyes lingered on my lips? I must have imagined it… No amount of forcing could make me leave my head, I am sure he did, what would I have done if he had kissed me? Kissed him back. But it is not good to so when such a big fight is coming… I quickly got past the denial stage, and started bargaining, we can’t allow ourselves to be distracted but having someone around helps you stay grounded, does it not?

“Are you alright? I promise I am fine, if that is a big concern-“ “It’s alright, it’s alright,” I huffed a laugh as I gave a curt nod to the Pillar, tightening my grip on my sword I set myself in position. “I simply got lost in thoughts,” I said lightly, resting my posture a moment as I quirked a brow towards the golden-haired man. “Can I ask you a question?” he nodded enthusiastically, sitting back down as he fanned his face. His hair was pushed back by the gust of wind the fan made, but that was not what caught my attention.

What caught my attention was the way he was sitting. A hand behind his back as he leaned on it, his legs spread slightly, half-way through sitting tailor style. It had no reason to look this good, this sinful, and yet I couldn’t look away. But I did, focusing back on his beautiful eyes, “Am I that bad at hiding my presence? I have always thought I was doing good, now I am thinking back on a lot of things… I have never encountered any issues during missions either,” I trailed off, thinking of all the times I tried to be discrete around the Pillars, watching some train, perhaps one more than the others.

He had indeed told me he had seen me lurk around, but perhaps it was only a few times. Lifting his chin as he looked up, thinking, he hummed, “Well…” A few moments passed, then he looked back at me, eyes wide, just like his smile. “I would like to think I have always caught you watching me, even when you’re on the roof, your feet dangling off the edge. That’s also because your shadow is casted on the ground,” He said with a laugh. While he laughed, I sheathed my sword away and tried to keep my composure, “When I train at night, there is a lot less movement in the mansion, so I can sense you a lot more,” He nodded, giving it a deeper thought.

“When you hover by my door nervously too-“ “I do not hover nervously, I am not nervous. I am simply aware that you might be occupied somehow and think against disturbing you. That is all,” That was too fast, too defensive, he saw right through it. I crossed my arms over my chest, looking at him intently, he was beaming but not saying much. “Maybe you are the only who can sense me because you try to, have you considered that, Kyojuro?” I suggested.

He seemed proud that I had said so, his smile, instead of being a grin, turned into one that spread from ear to ear. Using the beam next to him for support, he stood up and walked up to me, his hands reached out for mine, uncrossing my arms. “I do. I find comfort in your presence,” his hands slid from my forearms to my hands, holding them gently. “I have gotten used to having you around, even if you do not know, and even if we do not always talk,” He pulled me closer without much force since I let him do as he pleased. I wanted him to wrap my arms around his form so he could do the same with me.

He did no such thing, no. Instead, he brought my knuckles to his lips and pressed a kiss on them, “We should still work on your breathing, shall we?” I couldn’t talk, instead I turned my hand palm up and placed it along his jaw, holding him there a moment. With the sun hitting strongly, I could feel my whole body heating up, but it was not the only reason. The warmth inside me was welcoming and kind, frightening at time with how much I wanted more, but I enjoyed it. “We should- yes. We should resume training,” I said as I stepped away from him, his hands letting go of mine.

He stood there with a knowing smile, then stepped back and proceeded to explain how he would do it. After a while, he changed his way of explaining and gestured with his hands where he could feel the energy going through and enthusiastically. “I do not feel it there, it is more in his area,” I said as I pointed at my sternum, then asking him to wait as I put my sword on the ground. He shook his head, “That is wrong, it should be,” stepping closer he pressed his fingers on each side of my ribs then trailed against it back to the sternum, “The entire thing here, does it make sense?” He brought his hand on his chin once more, furrowing his brows as he thought deeper with a hum.

While he breathed heavily through his nose, I could feel the tingles on my skin, goosebumps. But there was no time to lose on this, I did as he instructed and closed my eyes, calming down my breathing. “Alright, now you have to visualize it- it is harder to explain than I thought it would be, but it has to go,” once again, he trailed his indexes, starting at my throat then grazed down quickly to separate at the ribs and set on the side. I ignored the shivered that ran down my spine, “That is how I do it, here,”

I opened my eyes in surprise when he put my hand on his side, the area that he showed on my body. “Do you feel the difference?” “I believe I do,” he laughed breathlessly, his smile faltering. It was my time to furrow my brows when I saw that, “Perhaps you should stop for a while-“ Just when I said that, he gripped my shoulder tight, his head hanging low. He was still smiling as he looked up at me, “As much as I would like to say I’m fine, I think it is a bit too much in one go,”

Chuckling, I agreed and helped him back on the parquet of the veranda where I sat him down and handed him back his fan, “Heat, alcohol, training,” “You,” “…it does have some effect on the body- I’m sorry? You said something?” The golden-haired man had said something as I berated him half-heartedly, but I did not quite catch it. Grabbing my burning sword from the ground, I brought it where there was shade and sat next to the Pillar.

He looked at me from the side, and smiled, “I said, you,”

“I, what?” I asked, confused. “You make my heart beat so fast, I am bound to feel dizzy sooner or later,” Huffing a laugh, I looked ahead instead of his blinding smile. If I stared at him again, I did not know what I would do. Would I have the audacity to reach for his hand? Or his cheek, perhaps… No, I wouldn’t. “I am willing to bet is it mainly due to the gaping wound in your stomach and the stifling heat, that is bound to have some effect on the body,”

His laugh would have been louder if he was not decomposing next to me, I heard a thud quickly after. Looking at him in panic, he was laying on the ground with a lazy smile, his entire body stretched out. “I am usually a lot better at handling heat, this is a first,” He chuckled.

Seeing Naho from the corner of my eyes, I gestured for her to approach when I noticed the tray with water and a cloth. She set it on the ground before hurrying off, I barely had time to thank her.

“Let it be the first and only time, yes? I do believe we are done with training for today, nothing much can be done in this heat,” I said as I placed the wet cloth on the man’s forehead. A long sigh of satisfaction left his lips when he opened his eyes and looked at me. I sat, kneeling by his side, changing the cloth every few minutes to get him to liven up. With his eyes locked on me, watching each of my movements, I was very aware the latter. I made sure to not overdo anything, nor to look at him. In this very position, I could easily lean in and- and nothing, get him to cool down and go, I reprimanded myself.

Stopping me by grabbing my arm gently, Rengoku spoke up, “If nothing much can be done in this heat, that means you are available for the rest of the day, correct?”

I nodded, quirking a brow as to ask what he meant. “Well,” He grunted as he went to sit up, I was quick to help him do so, feeling his muscles under my hands but not reacting. “Would you comb my hair? I do not know how to say this, but…” He trailed off, a short huff escaping his nose. Seeing how he seemed to grow timid, I voiced my agreement, adding, “I had indeed planned on doing so earlier today,” Standing up, I made my way to the cabinet, “Since you are so beautiful- your hair is, your hair it’s a beautiful color, it’s going to be fun to comb it,” I hummed unsure, hoping I had covered up my mishap. It was badly done for sure, since I was more eager to run my fingers through his hair than anything.

When I returned to the Pillar, he had made his way back inside where the air more bearable and was now sitting on his futon. I did not remark he had not put it away upon his awakening in the morning, but instead stood in front of him as I ask, “Are you certain you are feeling good? Only minutes ago, you were ready to pass out,” While I said it in a lighter tone, worry still weighed on me when I looked at his half-lidded eyes. Still, I knelt behind him and had to take a moment at the sight of his bare back. It took all the self-restraint in my body to not throw his hair over his shoulder and let my hands travel over his back muscles. Yet, I managed to hold back.

Part of me felt ashamed to need that much restraint when it came down to this man, but there was nothing I could do about it. “I will be honest with you; I might fall asleep. It seems I have overdone it today,” He chuckled, scooting back so that his lower back was against my knees. Laughing with him, I said he was right but that he wasn’t the only one at fault, “I should not have asked for your help, I knew you were in no shape to do so,” I then started combing his hair, encountering a lot of knots but Kyojuro did not seem in pain as I undid them, so I continued while talking.

He tried to look at me, leaning his head back but I pushed it back to straighten it, he laughed, “Do not feel guilty, I am sure we have made some progress. And I did get to see you flustered again, there is nothing to regret from that,” He said with conviction. It made me pause in my action, which gave him a chance to turn around and look at me from over his shoulder, “Yes, just like that, beautiful,” He grinned before turning around once again, letting me resume what I was doing.

A comfortable silence set between us, we could hear the water from the pond outside along the people talking in the corridors when they’d walk by the room before quickly echoing away. The heat was not going down, but the room temperature was good enough for us to get through it. I had a harder time with the warmth coming from the man in front of me, but I was not going to complain. I found comfort in him being this close to me, so much I had this growing fear inside me, this fear of losing him. After all, was I not getting him back to health so that he could fight some more? He was one of the strongest and was going to be fighting equally strong demons when it came down to it.

I hated it, there was nothing to do about it, for I was also going to be fighting but it was still a nagging fear that had made its way inside my mind. “I deeply respect you, Kyojuro, I trust you do what you believe is right and praise you for it… but sometimes being selfish is not bad, I know you are no such person but… consider it if you ever found yourself in a situation that gives you the choice,” I said softly as I run my hand through his hair to check if there were any other kinks in it. When I did not receive an answer from the exhausted man in front of me, I guessed he had fallen asleep.

Huffing to myself, I started threading my fingers through his hair once more, this time braiding it, “Perhaps it is for the best, it was out of place to say that much…” I mumbled to myself, not adding anything more as I finished braiding his hair. When it was done, I placed it over his shoulder and hesitated a moment.. Looking around the room, I made sure no one was looking and placed a kiss at the intersection of his neck and shoulder before standing up quickly, stumbling slightly from how long I had been sitting. I was amazed at how he could still be sitting when he was clearly asleep but still proceeded to lay him down before leaving silently.

For the rest of the afternoon and evening, I helped with making dinner. A lot more had to be made considering whom had joined earlier today, but also because the three recruits had the appetite of ogres. It seemed the training they were undergoing made them spend all their energy a lot faster and at the end of the day they were starved. While they all waited for the food, I had led the recruits to the Fire Pillar’s room as promised and left them all together, knowing Tanjirou would be a lot more cautious and take care of his friends if they were to go awry.

Doing something other than taking care of the Pillar was very welcome, it kept my mind off thinking of him which I now realized was a lot more recurrent than it used to be. I had always liked Rengoku, but clearly, spending more time with him reinforced that feeling a lot. I would still try to get myself to not consider getting together with him, but then my brain would remind me that he had set himself on the path of courting me and warmth would spread in my chest. My name was called as I was putting away the dishes, bringing back to the present.

“Tanjirou? Are you not with the others? I trusted you to take care of their… rambunctious attitude, is there a problem?” The boy shook his head and furrowed his brows a moment, before tentatively saying, “I thought… Big brother has been talking about you for a while now, I thought you had gone away on a mission and he was missing you but…” Hearing him say so brought heat up my cheeks, I heard the girls chuckle in the kitchen and turned around to shush them. It was hard to keep myself from smiling but I kept my composure, “Well, you can tell him I will return soon,” I held back from saying that I will spend the night with him again.

Another fit of giggles behind me brought back the heat to my cheeks, but also to the young man’s, in front of me. He gave me a curt nod before hurrying off, embarrassed. When he was gone, I resumed my activities without saying anything, but I could hear the comments from the people in the kitchen. “Are you aware I can hear you?” I asked, half-joking half-annoyed. Their giggles stopped, ushering their words into a silence as they went back to their tasks.

I knew the rumors would spread fast, but if Kyojuro was being this obvious in whatever he was doing, they were bound to grow even more. I made a mental note to mention it to him as I walked to his room, thinking I would be hearing some ruckus and found myself surprised when it was completely silent. Should I go in? Perhaps he has fallen asleep again, along with the three boys? They needed to rest, I should peek and make sure- “The nervous hovering!” The door was slid wide open as the joyous man stood in front of me, his hair still how I had left them.

It suited him. It suited him so well, even more so with his kimono properly draped over his shoulders. A weird feeling wormed its way in my chest when I looked at how gorgeous he looked like this, “I was not hovering, I thought you were asleep,” Looking over his shoulder, I noticed he was alone, “Have the recruits left already?” “Yes! When young Tanjirou told me you were coming back, I made them leave, the evening is ours after all,” He smiled gently.

I knew he did not mean it in the way I heard it in my head, the one that involved more proximity, so I banished the thought and hummed. Two little forms slid inside the room and placed the food trays on the ground before hurrying off, I managed to catch a glimpse of their grinning face as Kiyo and Sumi disappeared. “Come on,” Taking my hand in his, he led me inside, I noticed my futon was already spread out and a lot closer too. I did not know if it was on purpose or accidental, but whichever it was, I was not going to say anything.

“You know, Kyojuro. I was not entirely sure everyone in the mansion knew I had spent the night here, but with how open you are to talking about it, I’m sure even the young Master knows, now,” Was I complaining? Or was I embarrassed by how he had no filter when talking about this? At this point, I was sure he had talked about it in length with the recruits who had nothing to do with any of this nor found interest in the topic.

Nodding, Rengoku swallowed and said, “Master Ubuyashiki knows, I have been exchanging letters with him,” I felt my throat tighten, that was what I feared. I never knew what the rule regarding relationships between demon slayers was, it was one of the main things holding me back from taking a step further. At least that is what I kept telling myself. Clearing my throat, I ate some more and inquired, “What? I am not sure it is allowed. No, actually, I do not know anything about what is accepted in the corps, regarding that…”

With his eyes wide, Rengoku stared right at me, “It? That? Would you mind being clearer?” His tone was innocent, but he was smiling proudly, as if he had caught me. Straightening my back, I played the serious card, “Well, you are courting me, are you not?” He laughed, nodding, “Correct. And you are doing the same with me, in your own way, is that right?” I was, indeed. Less with words, more with actions, but I was. I was relieved he noticed and that he did not think he was doing it for nothing. But I did not reply.

Feeling his hand on my ankle, I was startled and let out a sound of surprise, making him chuckle as he said, “Would you mind answering me?” “I am. Yes, I am courting you, because you are very,” Many words crossed my mind, beautiful, kind, stunning, funny, warm, welcoming. But only one left my mouth, “nice. You are nice, yes.”

He had to cover his mouth when laughing this time, his eyes closing as he did so. At this very moment, I thought, if I could, I would have painted this very moment and kept in my room the beautiful sight he had given me when laughing so brightly. It was something I’d never forgot. I looked down at my food, his cute laugh engraved in my head. “Well, Master Ubuyashiki informed me he had nothing to say, as long as we both put our duty before anything else. Which, I am sure you can do, if… it came down to it, someday,” “Of course, if it ever, yes…” We both looked up, our eyes meeting an instant before looking back at our food. A smile grazed my lips, I could feel it.

Without much more to say on the topic, the conversation drifted off to family and things we loved to do when we were younger, it flowed smoothly. It was also relaxing, even more so with the cool breeze of the night that entered the room. When we were done, and everything was tidied up we slid in our respective futon, lulled to sleep by the lighter temperature and the cricket conversations outside. In the depth of the night, lit up by a clear sky, as the door leading to the garden was still open, Kyojuro said my name softly.

“Yes?” I replied, my voice barely a whisper as I turned around on my futon to look at him. He was already facing me, his eyes wide open, not an ounce of sleep painted on his features. In an ushered tone, he asked, “Would you please sing for me?” There is a lot going on in my mind, was the subtext when he worded his question.

I reached out for his hand and held it gently, “Well, would that help you sleep?” I whispered, chuckling tiredly. “I think so,” He said it as if confiding in me, huffing a short laugh. Even with the little light that illuminated the room, I could see how his eyes flickered almost sadly before setting on our intertwined hands.

Not commenting on it, I started humming tiredly. I did not know how long it took for us to fall asleep, but I remembered him mumbling something before passing out. What had he said, I do not know, but I did felt serene as I dozed off.

[Part 3]

#kny rengoku #rengoku kyoujurou #rengoku x reader #kny #demon slayer #kny x reader #ao3 physicalturian #physicalturian #ao3 writer #writing #writers #fanfic #fanfiction #masterlist #gentle summer

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oakleaf--bearer · 3 years

Text

@jonmartinweek day two - injury!

also on ao3

When dealing with matters of the heart, Jon was about the furthest from a natural that there could be.

He was... rusty to say the least. Awkward was a generous way to put it. Completely and utterly useless was far more accurate.

So when Georgie had laughed and asked when he and Martin had started dating, he had been understandably taken aback and politely asked her what she meant by that. ("Georgie, what the fuck?" had been his exact wording). She'd shrugged and patted his knee, telling him that he should probably talk to Martin as soon as he got back to the Institute.

He stared down at the ring sat on the table, a frown creasing his forehead. It had been something of a whim purchase. He had bought it several years ago after reading about the concept online, and he'd just....not taken it off. Every time it left his hand, he'd itched to put it back on as soon as possible.

And now, a blistering burn mark on his hand was stopping him from putting it back on. A small, mostly insignificant piece of his identity stripped back and taken away from him.

A gentle knock at the door startled him out of his quiet contemplation.

"Hello." Martin poked his head around the door. "Tea?"

"Thank you, Martin."

Martin smiled, and Jon remembered Georgie's assumption. Would he? It wasn't the most unimaginable thing in the world. Martin was friendly. Charming, comfortable, welcoming. But dating? Maybe... But Jon had done dating before. He'd explained what the ring in the table meant to enough people that he was tired. Tired of the assumptions, the questions, the idea that there was one person out there who would change his mind, all he needed was a good-

Martin wasn't that person. When Jon ran through the mental 'relationship checklist', he could imagine so many different aspects with Martin. Holding hands, going on dates, even waking up next to each other, but that particular facet of a relationship was completely unimaginable. It wasn't that Martin was unattractive, simply that Jon just didn't see the attractiveness like that.

"What's that?" Martin gestured to the ring.

"Oh, uh, nothing." Jon covered it with his good hand. "Just a- nothing."

"Riiight." Martin placed the tea on his desk, in easy reach. "Keep your secrets then."

"Hmm." Jon hummed, still examining Martin's face.

"Jon? You alright?"

"Oh!" Jon realised he was staring and quickly looked away. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Martin said with an audible smile that made Jon's heart do something ridiculous.

"Martin..." Jon didn't really know what he was going to say. "Are you- I- Hmm."

"Take your time."

"Have lunch with me. That is, if you want to, please don't feel like I'm pressuring you, you can say no if you-"

"Jon." Martin put a hand on his desk, gentle, a calming reminder of a calming man. "I'd love to."

Jon stared at the hand. It was larger than his own. When he'd arrived back in the archives, trailing blood and exhaustion behind him, Martin had sat and re-wrapped the clumsy bandages he had put on it, patiently telling him off for not going to a doctor and getting it checked. Jon hadn't been able to look away from his hands then either, just gazing at them with sleepy eyes, his mind fixed on the image of Martin taking care of him. Carefully picking up the pieces he had left flung about the place and putting them back together, gently slotting them back into place.

Martin took him to a sandwich place around the corner from the institute. Jon stared at the menu, trying to decipher the swirling font. The letters swam slightly as he read them, the words jumbling together.

“Jon?” Martin bumped their shoulders together lightly, bending down to Jon's height to compensate for the difference. “What are you going to order?”

“I- What do you recommend?”

Martin smiled. “Hmm. How about the tuna and sweetcorn? It’s a classic, you know?”

“Sure.”

Martin ordered for them and nudged Jon towards a table in the corner. Jon went willingly, content to listen to Martin chatter away about the wait times and the various bouts of people-watching he had gotten up to in this cafe. Despite Jon’s lack of contributions, Martin seemed to be fine carrying the conversation on his own. A couple of people gave them odd glances, no doubt wondering what Martin, kind, gentle-looking Martin, was doing with a grumpy sack of exhaustion. Externally, they didn't match. They were diametrically opposed, two entities that shouldn't exist in the same space without causing some kind of epoch changing event.

But the more Jon pondered it, the more he realised that he wanted to be here, sat opposite Martin, listening to him talk, letting him order his sandwiches and hold his hand-

Jon’s brain skipped a beat.

Martin had placed his hand over Jon’s where it rested on the table and was staring at him, concern across his face. “Jon? You okay?”

‘I care about him’, Jon realised with a start. ‘This is my friend.’

Martin nudged his hand around so that he could properly take it in his own. The motion dislodged the ring that Jon still held clutched in his bandaged fingers. It clattered out, its black outline stark against the faded beige of the tabletop.

“Oh, sorry.” Martin picked it up to hand it back to Jon. “You might want to be a bit more careful. You don't want to lose this.”

“What?” Jon stared down at Martin’s hand. It felt ridiculous to see Martin holding out his ring and for Jon to feel this weightless. The gentle curl of Martin’s fingers around the band set Jon’s mind whirling down avenues lined with graffiti reading ‘Just tell him’ and ‘Maybe it will go well’.

Jon took a deep breath and took the plunge.

“I’m sorry, Martin.”

Martin blinked. “R-right? What for?”

“All of it.” Jon reached out and covered Martin’s, still holding Jon’s ace ring up in front of them. “You were always- I’m glad you're here. With me.” He carefully took the ring and let go of Martin’s hand. It looked shockingly sad sitting in the palm of Jon’s bandaged hand. Another piece of who he was now associated with pain. An uncomfortably familiar reality that Jon was steadily becoming used to.

Martin reached across the table and gave Jon’s hand a quick squeeze. Jon hissed at the jolt of pain lacing up his arm.

“Oh god, Jon, I’m so sorry, I didnt- I didnt think, that was stupid of me-” Martin’s hands fluttered in the air around Jon’s. “God, that was awful of me, I’m really sorry-”

“It’s okay,” Jon said, grabbing at Martin with his uninjured hand. “It’s fine, it's already passed.”

Martin gave him an apologetic smile, but didn’t argue. “That’s important to you, huh?”

“Hmm?”

“The ring. I’ve seen you wear it a lot. Does it mean something?”

“Oh.” Jon hadn't considered the possibility that Martin might be aware of the ring's existence. In his head, it existed in a bubble, separate from work and his colleagues. It made sense, he supposed, that Martin was able to see into that bubble, since its edges had been bumping against Jon’s perception of Martin for a little while now. “It, ah, its a- Its a sexuality thing.”

To Martin’s credit, he didn’t even blink at the idea that Jon might not be straight, just nodded and smiled encouragingly. “I thought so. Asexuality, right?”

“Wha- Yes.” Jon had been gearing up to explain the intricacies of asexuality, not for Martin to already have that knowledge.

“It came up when I was doing research trying to figure out my own sexuality.”

That caught Jon off guard. For some reason, throughout all of his deliberations trying to figure out where on Jon’s internal spectrum Martin sat, he had failed to consider the actual real life possibility of Martin’s queerness. “You’re-”

“Oh, I’m not ace.” Martin shook his head. “At least, I don't think so. Labels,” he chuckled. “Confusing stuff. I usually just go with gay and trans to sum me up.”

A small, overlooked lightbulb in the back of Jon’s mind flickered to life as a couple of pieces of information fell into place with a quiet ‘oh!’

“I saw the ring but I didn't want to ask in case it was just a style thing. A lot of people don't know about this stuff and it's sometimes hard to tell, you know?”

“Right.”

“I guess the bandages stop you wearing it, right?” It was a non-sentence, a piece of idle observation that Martin was making. But it still stung.

“It feels somewhat ridiculous to say but- I think I’m going to miss it. It’s just a ring, it's not my entire sexuality, I’ll still be ace without wearing it, but I’m still- It feels like I’m missing a piece of something that I was trying to hold onto, you know?”

Martin nodded. “I understand. Here-” he reached up and unclasped a thin chain that had been hanging around his neck. “You can borrow this. I’ll take these off for now.” He slipped off a couple of charms that had been hanging on it. Smiling, he held out the chain.

“You- You’re sure?”

“Yeah.” Martin wiggled the chain in the air between them slightly. “You can give it back when your hand is better.”

Wordlessly, Jon took the chain and looped the ring onto it. He lifted to try and fix the clasp around his neck, but he couldn't get the clasp open. Martin pushed his chair back, coming to stand behind Jon, taking the chain out of his hands and closing the clasp for Jon.

“There.” Martin smoothed Jon’s collar down. “That looks nice!”

“Thank you.” Jon whispered, then louder, “Thank you, Martin. This- This means a lot.”

Martin shrugged a little awkwardly, cheeks turning red. “No trouble. It means a lot to you, so, you know, you should be able to carry it with you.”

He smiled down at Jon, and once again Jon felt the small jolt of recognition, of comfort. The bubble in his mind fully merged with Martin, creating something new that, at least for a few more long, exhausting months, Jon didn't know to call love.

#tma #the magnus archives #my fics

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cheelduh · 4 years

Text

A Liar’s Bait

Pairing: Kaeya x fem!reader

Warnings: Idk fatui abuse? Also Aether gets his braid pulled don’t hate me. Also unedited asf.

Synopsis: There’s a hiccup in the elaborate plan you’ve concocted to rescue your friends, and said hiccup comes in the form of a handsome Cavalry Captain that doesn’t have the foggiest of clues as to what personal space is.

"Ah darling, I didn't know you'd be wondering about this late in the night." The charming cavalry captain, Kaeya, sang from behind you.

For a brief second, you froze in place, but not long enough for him to see through your motives. "Kaeya," You turned to him naturally, and spoke your next words like an actor revising a memorized script. "Have to return a book. You know how Lisa gets."

"At these ungodly hours?" He raised a brow, and you blinked away any remnants of sleep in your eyes at the mention of time.

Barely skipping a beat, you gave him an acknowledging smile. "I have some tasks to do tomorrow. It's better if I return it now." The book that is supposedly due tomorrow is waved hurriedly in the air, as if to exaggerate your point.

"Though it seems like Lisa has went home." He pointed out, cornering you against the brick wall, a knowing look in the deep pools of his eyes.

Of course you knew Lisa wasn't in. That was the entire base of your plan. There were a total of four knights on rotation at the headquarters. It was simple really, sneak into the library with your authority as trusted aide, and if push came to shove, an easy knockout would do.

However, Kaeya's sudden appearance put a hiccup through your plans. It would take more than a sock to the face to put him out of commission.

"Oh really?" You tilted your head in confusion, eyes widening, as you eyed him. "I probably should have came by earlier. Well then, I'll just have to put it on her desk with a note."

"You could trust it with me, and I'll return it tomorrow. Captain's word." He replied innocently, snatching the book from your fingers.

Archons, you absolutely did not have the time for this.

Aether and Paimon were waiting after all.

You decided not to shove a stick up his ass, and instead let your anger blow over silently.

"Your hands are clammy darling," Kaeya went on, flipping through the text just for show. "I can feel it on the book."

'Ew that's gross' You wanted to say, but decided to play his game instead.

"Guess I'm nervous." A forced a blush made its way onto your face. Okay maybe it wasn't forced, but you couldn't blame yourself for letting his subtle teasing get to you.

"Oh?" He feigned curiosity, letting the book close with a soft thud. "My presence often does that to people." The cocky undertone in his voice made you fantasize smacking his face a hundred times over.

"Of course," It was a struggle to not speak in a dry tone. "You are truly..." A small cough escaped your lips, and you tried to stumble upon the words, wishing upon barbatos that the flattering would work. "charming."

Kaeya's grin widened, all cat like, and for a brief moment you felt your heart stutter. He swooped in to cage you against the wall. "I didn't know you were so bold dear."

Before he could utter another flirtatious remark, you pushed yourself close to him, distracting him for a mere moment just to strategically slip the book into the safety of your arms. "Thanks but no thanks. I'll return the book myself."

With a swift duck under his arm, you made your way to HQ before a cold hand grabbed your shoulder. You ceased any movement and glanced over your shoulder, a frown made clear.

Kaeya narrowed his eyes at you, clearly not liking how you weren't becoming a bumbling idiot at his flirty behaviour like you usually did. You'd love to—but you just didn't have the time to deal with him, not when the fatui were breathing down your neck.

"I'll go with you." He said slowly, testing you for any reactions. Shit. He's on to you. "I can't let a pretty lady wander all alone. You might get lost."

Like hell you would. You knew everything about the damn base as if it were the back of your hand. Kaeya understood this as well, but instead, he opted to wake up every morning and choose to be a dickwad.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. "Lead the way."

Kaeya seemed satisfied at your reply, and slid his grip down from your shoulder, straight to your free hand. He walked in front of you, pulling you behind him like you were a clumsy toddler.

His gaze wasn't on you, so you took the chance to examine your surroundings, trying to find the presence that was tailing you.

Kaeya being this close to you wasn't looking good for you at all. The walls had eyes and ears, and the only way to apprehend the risk was by doing as they said. Only then would you get your opening.

Paimon...Aether...hold on a bit longer.

With a nod to the guards, Kaeya and you made your way in, stopping right in front of the library. With a puzzled expression on your face, you were about to question his intentions, until he readjusted his grip so that your fingers were intertwined.

You were sure your face was flushed in all kinds of colours by now.

"Shall we enter?" He asked you, mirth clear in his eyes.

The only signal you managed to give him was a quick nod.

The library smelled of dark oak and silk flowers. You briefly remembered Aether giving her the plant from his adventures back in Liyue. The bookshelves were decorated with intricate designs, filled with countless of books that had all earned their rightful place.

And you were about to steal one, summoning chaos into Lisa's beloved library. It would be you who might deliver an archived book straight into the hands of the very people who sought out violence in order to achieve power.

"I'll check it in for you," Kaeya let go of your hand after dragging you all the way to the front desk, only to outstretch it for the text you were gripping too hard.

"Oh yeah," You handed it to him—willingly this time. "thank you. I'll be looking around."

It was understood what you had to do. Easily finding the locked case from which you would slip the book into your clothes only to make a run for it wouldn't cut it.

The captain would make too much noise and track you down himself before you could get the chance to shove the book up the Fatui's ass, get Aether and Paimon their freedom back. Then once you'd ensure their safety, you'd beat the living shit out of the Fatui agents right after. It's not like you'd have a choice.

The whole reason you were in this whole mess was because you decided to help Aether out with his latest commission, which happened to be clearing out a hilichurl camp smack dab in the middle of a road. The camp blocked all imports and exports, proving to be a stick in the butt for the merchants of Monstadt.

You, oh helpful and kind you, assisted him with the task, seeing as you were walking back from a fishing trip.

Turned out that the hilichurl camp was a cover for a bunch of Knights of Favonious hungry Fatui agents who were hellbent on getting the one and only copy of a book Lisa had tucked away in the library.

While you two could've easily ended every single one of those shady bastards, enemy reinforcements came out of nowhere and dug their claws right into Aether.

At least that was the cover story.

Violà, a hostage situation was born.

They promised to let Aether go on one condition. If you obtained a book they had their eyes on for quite some time. But their promise had as much worth as Venti's word did when he told you that the drinks were on him.

They couldn't risk the Knights finding out. You were just another loose string that would be cut off along your two friends.

Locating the book and hiding it in your outfit undetected was as effortless as it could get. What was coming would not be.

"Darling," Kaeya called out to you, but his voice is different. More darker than usual. You didn't summon your spear just yet.

"I've finished up. Let's get going yeah?" His footsteps are light on the wooden planks of the floor, but his words are solid. Frozen even.

You breathed out, but refused to turn around.

"You know," He continued, halting next to your shoulder, leaning his sweet mouth down to your ear. His hot breath fanned against your neck, but you paid no heed. "A liar is no stranger to a liar."

You lunged to the side, spinning on your heel as your back hit the railing in the middle of the library. The captain reacted quickly by swiping the air, but ultimately failed to grab you as you gracefully tipped yourself over, landing right on your feet.

There was now a floor that separated the two of you. Just as you had intended.

The reflexes you showcased earned you a smooth-voiced chuckle, an amused smirk gracing his lips. He leaned against the ledge with both hands, bending down his upper body.

"Oh my. We've got ourselves a thief. You didn't think I wouldn't notice, right?" He contemplated, weapon materializing right then and there, ready to put on a good show. You could read him like a book just as he could you. "Can't believe you're such a naughty girl."

Despite his teasing tone, his eyes remained cold and calculating.

"Don't flatter yourself." You spoke monotonously, brushing a hand in the air. "The date stamp didn't match up right? Tight time frame, couldn't really think about the logistics."

Kaeya narrowed his eye shrewdly, offended. "I can't let you go you know."

"I don't need you to." You quipped, but then placed a finger on your chin. "On second thought I kind of do. How about a friendly transaction? I really don't want to fight you."

"And I do not wish to fight you, darling." Kaeya's face split into a viscous smile, a far less forgiving gaze meeting you halfway. This was your chance to tell him, he was giving you a generous opening to explain yourself.

You bit your lip, feeling the unknown presence yet again. The walls had eyes and ears. The walls had vengeful teeth that would dig into you the minute you'd let it slip.

"I need you to let me go." You clutched the leather of your gloves desperately, your prior confidence flickering. Begging was the only card you had left.

His hardened gaze on your form softened slightly, but disappeared almost instantly.

You didn't have to wait for him to voice his answer. It was as clear as day.

The captain didn't waste any more time when jumping over the ledge.

By the time Kaeya's feet made impact, your pole arm was already aimed and ready to strike.

"Let's dance."

After a tactical withdrawal, you found yourself taking tentative steps on the outskirts of Springvale. It wouldn't have been possible if Kaeya didn't let his guard down momentarily.

The cuts on your shoulder still stung, but it was difficult to spare any time towards the throbbing.

Why were you walking so slow? Did your plan not work? No, it should have. You calculated every risk. But why the hell were you prolonging the inevitable end?

It didn't matter. Either way, you'd get to sink your teeth into some unfortunate fatui agents, injecting them with centuries worth of pain.

The opening was nearby, you noted, the pathway familiar. You always were good with maps, oftentimes lending a hand to the certain young outrider with a bright smile and kind heart.

You allowed yourself to calm your erratic heartbeat, and slow your breathing as to get a clearer sense around you. There were two, but before there had been three. The third one revealed himself when you deployed your "return the book" scheme, flipping through the guidebook carefully to see if you left potential breadcrumbs.

Gnawing at your lip, you followed the trail, the world behind you quieting down to a silent whisper.

It seemed like forever when you reached the destination, halting your movements.

Your ears perked up at their footsteps before you could catch a glimpse of them, but made no sudden movements except for dropping the book on the ground as they had instructed.

It was odd that you felt as calm as you did. It could've been because of your confidence in your abilities, or perhaps, something else entirely.

The pyro agent appeared from one of the bushes, right after shoving a bruised and gagged Aether. Paimon came next, in a cage controlled by a fatui cicin mage who wore a wicked smile on her stupid face.

They managed to shut Paimon up real quick. You wondered what it took, but not for too long.

"Hey now," You grinned, but your fingernails were digging crescents in your palm. "I thought we agreed that no one gets hurt?"

"The traveller here is a real handful." The fatui agent hissed from under his mask, harshly yanking Aether by his braid.

Aether, immobile, scowled in discomfort and continued to struggle through his bounds.

You didn't acknowledge the blond nor the agent's words, alternatively choosing to nod your head to the book instead. "Here as promised."

The agent motioned to the Cicin mage, who walked forward in order to obtain the book safely. She handed it back to him, and he briefly flipped through it, seemingly satisfied.

Just like that, Aether was knocked down on his knees next to your feet, Paimon thrown like a sack of potatoes atop him. They were out of the red. Your signal to strike.

"Unfortunately, promises are beneath our pay grade." The agent placed a finger on his chin, as if in thought. "However, you prove to be a valuable asset."

"Oh really?" You piped, eyes crinkling in mock excitement. "I'm really glad a lowly fatui scum thinks so highly of me. It's truly an honour."

Said fatui agent glared knives straight through his mask.

"Kill them." He ordered, and the Cicin mage hummed a sound of delight, summoning her electro-flies or whatever the hell those things were called.

Your polearm took shape in the clutches of your left hand, a twisted grin plastered on your face.

"I'm gonna have so much fun tearing you apart." The bloodlust you emanated was enough to choke the air out of both the mage and agent.

Pouncing on your prey, you didn't give the mage a chance to scream before you landed a roundhouse kick straight to her ribs. She made a guttural choking sound, moving to clutch herself. You ended the move by twisting your weapon into the air to send a shattering hit straight to her temple.

Your blow successfully knocked her out, the kick back proving to be enough to send the pyro agent flying into a nearby tree.

"I really expected something more challenging." A pout formed on your lips, eyebrows furrowed. "Hopefully you can make up for what your mage lacked. If not, I'll be disappointed."

The agent chuckled painfully. "You won't get the chance. You can't take on all of us."

"All of you?" You questioned, tilting your head, eyes widening innocently. "Oh you mean those pesks that were tailing me? So sorry, but they're gone now."

"W-what?!" He sputtered, quick on his feet as he pulled out his knife, charging it with elemental energy. "How could you have—"

"How unfair," A low tone whistled, and Kaeya finally made an appearance, smiles and everything. "Don't give her all the credit. You're making me feel left out."

The pyro agent scattered around his flames, preparing to shake up the battle—

You lost your patience and picked up a decent sized rock, aimed for his nose, and sent a plunging attack.

The agent lost consciousness before he hit the ground.

"Oh come on!" Kaeya's dejected groan rang in your ears. "Could've let me have a turn."

"You already had your turn." You sent a pointed stare at him, bending down near the mage to wipe the blood of your pole arm with her clothes. "Two times if I recall."

He rolled his eyes playfully, forgetting the banter to go and free the traveller of his bounds.

—

"Let's me get this straight." Jean said with fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. "You two roughed up some fatui agents without informing the knights, and put the traveller at risk." There's this look of disappointment in her face, but you're used to it by now.

Hanging around Kaeya sure had its ups and downs.

"Precisely. The folder on your desk has all the details. Enough proof to have them in our custody.” The cavalry captain nodded along, and it somehow made you feel like you were a kid being scolded after getting caught stealing cookies from the jar.

"It was an operation that the traveller agreed to," You declared so her brewing anger didn't overflow. "The perfect plan to catch them in the act. It was my idea. The captain didn’t really know until later.”

"Although I’m quite hurt you didn’t fill me in any sooner, I must say, watching those ignorant fatui diplomats scramble to try and find an explanation is going to be worth the wait.” He spoke with a hint of a smile.

The both of you fist bumped. Jean wasn't amused.

The acting grand master produced a stern glare. "Y/N, assist Lisa with anything she needs for the rest of the week. And the Cavalry Captain here won't be going out on patrols any time soon."

That was a clear lie, but Jean had to keep up appearances after all. What kind of acting grand master would she be if she didn't at least pretend to have some sort of authority over her two trouble-making subordinates.

With a dramatic sigh, you spun on your heel to leave.

“Hey Y/N,” Jean called out, and you tilted your head, wanting to know if she changed her mind and decided to make your punishment worse. “Good work today. That will be all.” She avoided eye contact, feigning deeper interest in the pileup on her desk.

After the "briefing”, as Kaeya liked to call it, you found yourself outside of HQ with him right on your tail.

"Not too shabby for a day's work." He winked, smoothing out his words. "I must say, I'm quite impressed with how this went. Didn't expect you to put so much faith in me.”

"How did you get my signal anyways?" You snorted. "The entire scheme was off the bat. I had to wink at the traveller like five times to get him to showcase a crappy fight stance and become my fake hostage. Dense little guy.”

There was a momentary pause before Kaeya enlightened you with an answer.

"You hate reading, and you're irresponsible." He pointed out cheekily, poking at your nose. You scrunched your nose and turned away, cheeks warming. "The abyss would freeze over before you ever read a book, let alone steal one. That’s several red flags for me.”

He kept going, finding the topic of this to be quite interesting. “Not to mention returning the “Code of Conduct” handbook.” The relentless teasing was one of the reasons why you dreaded work,

"Gee thanks." You remarked unceremoniously. “I didn’t need your help at all. You just love sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

"Aww don't be so low spirited." He suspended your movements by curling an arm around your waist. "Let me treat you for a job well done darling." His hot breath fanned your ear, lips teasingly close.

Dammit dammit...why does he have to be so close!

"That's unfair." Paimon screeched from thin air, scaring the living daylights out of you. "After all the traveller and I have been through, don't we deserve a treat as well?!"

Kaeya laughed apologetically, cold hand never leaving your hips. "Of course. The honorary knight has been quite the help. Now let’s get moving, we're not frozen in place, after—"

A smack on the arm shut him up real quick.

#kaeya x reader #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #kaeya x y/n #kaeya x you #genshin impact oneshot #aether #Paimon

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lokis-army-77 · 3 years

Text

If You Please

Chapter twelve

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2588

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: none

Note: Normally I am the type of person to be date accurate when writing things and if you are too, I'm sorry. I messed up on the dates, so the battle of New York happens like a month after it should. This is also a short chapter because it's a filler and I'm trying to just get to the Winter Soldier but have everything make sense.

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Masterlist

A few days later I had received a small archivist job in the WWII department of the Smithsonian. Thankfully the made-up resume and a few fake SHIELD recommendations came in handy. I would officially start the following week after a few background checks were cleared. In my free time until then, I unpacked all the boxes in my apartment. It started to feel more homely and warm when all of my things filled up the space. When I didn’t feel like unpacking anything, I started taking long walks to the VFW building. I hadn’t joined in on any of the meetings yet, I just stood by the doorway and watched, listening to the stories people told.

One day that week as I stood back in the hallway after the meeting had ended, a man came up to me. He was a little taller than I was and had the brightest smile I had ever seen. I had watched him in the meetings before, he was usually the one hosting them, giving advice to all who needed it.

“I’ve seen you standing out here for the past three days, why don’t you come have a seat next time? It would be more comfortable than standing out here for an hour.” He said as he leaned his back against the wall right next to me.

“I have thought about it, but I tend to get here after you have started. I don’t want to interrupt anything by just barging in.” I said over my shoulder at him.

“You won't interrupt anything, just come on in next time, we’d be happy to have a new face around,” He pushed himself off the wall and walked down the hall.

After that, I ended up joining the meetings and even spoke a few times. I learned that the man who came up to me that day was Sam Wilson, pararescue, who had served two tours in Afghanistan. From the first day he came up and talked to me to now, we quickly became friends.

The days had turned into weeks and I was finally able to live relatively by my own means. The Smithsonian was great, in the archives, no one was really around and I could spend a whole day without any interruptions, which allowed me to just concentrate on what I was doing. After closing, I normally walked to meet Sam, who was usually way too excited to see me, even though we saw each other almost every day without fail.

“You’re late today.” I jumped, startled out of my thoughts at the sound of someone talking to me. I looked up, spying Sam standing next to one of the small trees outside the VFW building.

“What do you mean late?”

“I mean you usually get here at three-thirty. It's four right now.” He said looking down at his watch.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. I've just been lost in my thoughts lately.” I sighed.

“I know we’ve only been friends for what? A month? But I already know when something is bothering you, What is it?”

“Nothing really, just my brother. Since moving here he's called at least twice a week to check up but it’s been radio silence for the past two weeks, he doesn't even answer when I try calling him. I'm just a little worried that something bad is going on, considering his job.”

“Well, maybe he’s just really busy at the moment, or he's somewhere he can't call you. You know how it is being out on those military missions.”

“I know, it’s just the last time we were apart on a mission,” I trailed off and looked up at Sam, he raised his eyebrows, quietly waiting for the end of the sentence. “Someone close to us passed. It’s still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. I was there that day and I was too far away to even know what had happened, now my brother and I aren’t even in the same vicinity as each other, there is no telling what could happen and it makes me nervous.”

He gave me a small apologetic smile and patted my shoulder before leading me from the tree where we stood to where his car was parked. “What do you say we hang out at mine and just watch some tv? Get your mind off things? Or we can talk about it, either way, it’s better than dealing with it alone.” I nodded my head and grabbed onto the car door handle as he unlocked it.

Walking through the front door after him I took a quick look around. It was cozy, way more decorated than I thought it would be for a man in his early thirties living alone.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink?” He asked neck-deep in the fridge.

“Okay, I’ll just have some water,” I called out as I made my way further into the living room. The couch was backed up to the wall a few feet away from the dining room table. I sat down on it and scooted as close as I could to its right arm. A few moments later Sam came over with two glasses of water and a bag of chips. He handed me my drink before crashing down into his own seat. “Thank you,” I said before taking a long sip.

He nodded as he said “No problem.” Before he got himself really comfortable he searched around for the TV remote. As he pressed the ‘on’ button the TV came to life. “What in the world is that?” He sounded concerned so I quickly looked at the screen.

“Breaking: Attack on New York City. This afternoon at 2:15 several unidentified aircraft descended onto Earth's surface. Strange beings, some are calling aliens, Accompanied these ships and are causing havoc in Manhattan. Eyewitnesses have stated that they have seen Iron Man, and what seemed to be Captain America, leading a team of three others fighting back against the invaders. The battle seems to be over but updates are still coming in, let's take a look at some footage of the downtown destruction.” My eyes went wide and my heart stopped as I listened to what the reporter was saying. I kept my eyes glued to the screen as it changed to show a destroyed street. As the camera panned around I spotted Steve fighting against two of the creatures, before the clip quickly changed to show one of the large ships crashing into the New York skyline.

“Oh God Steve, what did you get into?” I murmured to myself.

“You say that like you know him personally.”

“Uhh.” I just gave him a wide-eyed look of surprise. “I do, he’s my brother.”

“Now really isn’t the time to be joking about things,” He gave me a pointed look.

“I swear I’m not joking, he really is my brother. I can explain later, I need to try and get a hold of him.” I pulled out the small flip phone from my pocket and dialed the number for Steve's cell phone, it rang and rang but no answer. I hung up quickly and dialed the number Fury gave me at the beginning of the month. After two rings he answered.

“I assume you are looking for Captain Rogers.”

“Where is he? Is he okay?” I tried to keep the worried tone from coming through in my voice.

“He’s fine. He is in the middle of a debriefing. I’ll tell him you called.”

“Okay, thank you.” As soon as the words left my mouth he gave a quick hum and then hung up. I looked over at Sam whose eyes hadn't left me at all. “Everything is fine, he's in a debrief so that means that whatever happened in New York is definitely over.”

“That’s good to hear, hopefully, those things don’t try to come back again.” He shook like a shiver ran down his spine. “Now please explain how Captain America, a man from the 1940s, is your brother.”

“I can hear the skepticism in your voice.”

He held his hands up in defense, “Hey, I'm not the one saying I'm the sister to a 90 something-year-old man.”

“Look, it’s a long story that I would rather not get into now but the short version is that I was born in 1921, Steve is my older brother, we both ended up taking the super-soldier serum and fought against HYDRA in the second world war. We ended up crashing a plane into some Ice in the Atlantic ocean and were found and unfrozen last October.” “If you are really Captain America’s sister, then why are you never mentioned in anything?” I looked at him and shook my head.

“Well for starters it was the forties and I was a woman fighting on the front lines. Credit is never given where it is due. But there is also the fact that I was a part of the SSR, which was very secretive, after I died.” I put my fingers up in air quotes, “They should have erased most, if not all the files on me, per protocol. The only reason Steve is well known is because of his time going cross country selling war bonds.” I paused for a second before quickly adding, “I’m sure if you look hard enough, you’ll find me in the history books somewhere.”

Sam just sat there not really saying anything. This was the first time I think he had ever been quiet for more than five seconds. I let out a deep sigh and stood, grabbing my bag from the floor. “Thanks for having me over, but I think I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood and walked me to the door.

“Don’t be late. I’ll see you.” Sam waved me off and I headed down the street.

About half a year later while sorting through some archive files, I came across Peggy Carter. I felt a pang in my heart as I stared at the photo of her standing next to Howard Stark. Other than Steve and Bucky, those two were my closest friends. I fell down a rabbit hole after that, finding any information on the two that I could find. They had both helped found SHIELD in 1965, they had both gotten married and had children of their own. Peggy's children had stayed out of the public eye, but in true Stark fashion, Howard’s son evidently took over the family business and was living the high life. I pulled out a newspaper from the stack I had on the table in front of me and was shocked at what I saw. The title read ‘Howard and Maria Stark Die in Car Accident’, I knew Howard most likely wasn’t alive anymore but seeing the photographs of the wrecked car in the newspaper cast a somber mood through the room.

I laid the paper down on the table and ruffled through more of the papers before determining that we had no information on if Peggy was alive or not. That sent me into a frenzy of looking through phone books to try and find her and calling every retirement home in DC that I could. The only lead I had to go off of was a small interview from a newspaper, talking to Peggy about the seventieth anniversary of V-E Day, stated that she was living in Washington, DC.

After eight failed calls, finally, on the ninth, I had finally found a home which had a Peggy Carter as a residence in room 204. I rushed to pack up my things and left my office early. I ran down the back hallways as fast as I could without drawing too much attention. When I made it out of the building I ran full speed to the road to hail a cab.

Amazingly the traffic was almost nonexistent and I made it to the retirement home in only ten minutes. I fumbled out of the cab and I raced through the front doors of the building. I must have startled the women at the front desk because as soon as I rounded the corner to the staircase, they were yelling after me. I took the steps three at a time in my haste to get to the second floor. I stopped running when I was outside of room 204. I couldn’t see anything clearly through the frosted window so I knocked hesitantly and slowly opened the door and stepped in.

There in the middle of the room, against the wall was a single bed. A woman laid there quietly with her eyes closed. The closer I came to her the more familiar she looked. I let out a relieved gush of breath. There she was, older now, but still the Peggy I once knew. I nervously grabbed one of the chairs in the corner of the room and brought it over to her bedside so I could sit. Gently I gave her a small tap on the hand before just holding it in mine. She stirred but her eyes never opened.

All of a sudden one of the nurses from downstairs came into the room, with an angry and shocked expression.

“Ma’am, You can't be in here. If you want to see a patient, you have to sign in.” I ignored her, my eyes trained on Peggy's face. The commotion of the woman barging into the room had made her open her eyes and look around. I just watched as she scanned the room, first to the door on the left, to the wall in front of her, past me sitting on her right, then to the window behind me.” Her brows raised and she lifted her hands to her eyes to rub. The shock on her face was evident as she turned her head to stare directly at me.

“Hey Carter, long time no see huh?” I gave her the biggest smile that I could.

“Is it really you?” She reached her hand out to mine and grabbed hold.

“It is, it’s really me.”

“Ma’am, I mean it, you can't be here.” The nurse tried again, this time Peggy shot her a glare.

“Ms. I’ll have you know this is one of my best friends and she can be in here if she wants to. Now leave us alone.” The young nurse nodded her head and rushed out, even in old age she could still put on that commanding tone that struck fear in every man. She slowly turned back to me, almost like if she looked back for me, I would be gone. “How? How are you here?”

“It’s a long story Peg, are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Look where I am, I have nothing but time.” She laughed out and I let out my own small laugh as I shook my head.

In addition to what I had been doing, like hanging out with Sam, after that first visit, I made it a priority to see Peggy once or twice every two weeks, depending on how she was doing. Dementia had put a lot of stress on her, and seeing me after almost seventy-five years and looking relatively the same as I had when frozen took out a giant toll on her.

And that's how the next 10 months went until Steve eventually moved into an apartment directly under me.

Tag List: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae @starkleila

#james buchanan barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x rogers!reader #winter solider x reader #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction

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blackbutlerfandomnerddomain · 3 years

Text

Title: Just Gotta Stay Calm

Word Count: 3966

Fandom: Gravedale High

Ship/Pairing: Vinnie Stoker/Reggie Moonshroud

Tags: First Dates, Vampire Family, Tradition, Awkward Crush, Vampire Boyfriend, Werewolf Boyfriend, First Kiss, Dorks in Love, Awkward Dates, Boys in Love, Friendship/Love

Warnings: First Works of the fandom, swearing(small), awkward, fluff

Vinnie let in a breath as he examines himself in the special vampire mirror on his bedroom wall. He quietly checks every inch of his face closely before opening his mouth to check his fangs.

Good, He thought with a charming grin to himself. No pimples, no stuff in my teeth, no flaws in sight. Vinnie went to his dresser and takes out some cologne he bought specifically for today, a scent of calming forest rain, and sprayed some on his neck and a little bit in his shirt. Not a lot just the basic stuff to seem simple and posh.

Vinnie and Reggie are finally getting themselves a date. A real, really real, true date. Just the two of them. And Vinnie could be more happier then this moment!

Vinnie has been meaning to ask his best friend out for quite some time, since the first moment he noticed his feelings were a bit more then platonic bashful moths in his chest and stomach actually. It took him a total of two full months to completely wrap his head around the fact that he - Vincent "Vinnie" Stoker - was wings over heels in love with the world's one and only Reggie Moonshroud. However, it took him nearly a YEAR to get up all the courage to ask the boy out. Honestly, if it weren't for his friends this day might've never happened.

The young vampire left his bedroom and hurries down his stairs, only to be stopped by the voice of his old man, "Vincent, can you come here please?" Vinnie let out a silent shutter as he mentally cursed himself.

He slowly turned his body fully towards the older vampire sitting in his velvet chair with a pipe in between his lips, small puffs of the smoke emerging out the ends. The teen slowly walked over. "Y-Yea pops?" His voice rarely stammers when speaking, hasn't since he was in the 6th grade, at least not when he nervous beyond his wits like when he tried to get the chance to ask Reggie out and plan out what to do on said date.

"Are you going to go on your date soon?" Asked Mr. Stoker. Vinnie nods some in reply, his hands fumbling into his jacket's pockets. This was not what he wanted to do. The older vampire stood up from his chair, pipe still puffing out smoke, his eyes focus out the window of the chilly autumn gray skies. He takes a puff before continuing, "I want to give you some simple advice for your first date Vincent. Vampire to vampire." Vinnie practically shrunk his head down into his coat's collar.

Defiantly not what he wanted to do. . .

"That's okay pops, I got it covered-" He began as he slowly creeped his way to the front door. "The year was 1880. . ." Vinnie bite back a groan, knowing very well that once his dad starts it's hard to stop him. "I was simply a beginning apprentice to the one and only Dracula. Mostly paper work and long mornings. I thought I had everything cut out for me, a great job and nice home, until I realized I was missing something important when I first saw your mother wandering through the local cemetery." Mr. Stoker smiles fondly as he light strokes his black beard. "She is my first and only love as I'm sure you know. And it took me decades to ask her on a single date, I feared she might not want a simple vampire apprentice who barely knows how to turn into a bat, but alas she surprise me with a yes." Vinnie nods, "Yeah yeah I know. And you two spent many years together, got married, had two kids, and lived happily ever after. Dad, I know the story pretty well you know."

He didn't mean to interrupt his father's tale, he just already has his nerves up through the roof and he just want to hurry for the plans. His father turned and looked at his son right in the eyes as he spoke, "I know you do. I'm just trying to tell you that last night I was certain to give you some advice for your date, a vampire tradition my father gave me as his father gave him and his father so forth. I know you're nervous and it's perfectly natural. Just remember, be courteous. Be engaging. And above all, have a plan." Vinnie nodded. "Don't worry pops, I got it covered. Now can I go and do the date itself?" He asked the older vampire, who nodded to his please. He didn't wait any few seconds to open the front door and flying off with a snap.

This will go well, He thought to himself as he feels the wind go through his black hair. Reggie will enjoy the date I have planned for us. This is a piece of blood orange pie. Vinnie smiled as he spaces out on today's plans. Slowly, though, his brain began to swim to a memory of when he got the nerves to finally make that choice he's been walking back and forth on. . .

~ ~ ~

Vinnie taps the heels of his shoe onto the cold hard floor of the school's classroom as he watches the clock tic away, his eyes going to the clock and to the werewolf just a desk away from him. Today was the day, Vinnie told himself throughout the hours. Today I'm going to do it. As if proving his luck, the bell rings out around the school, signalling everyone to grab their stuff and hurry the Hell out of there for the weekend. Vinnie stood onto his feet, catching Gil and Sid giving him a thumbs up as they run out the classroom, and looks over at Reggie who is still putting his stuff away.

The vampire took a breath in and walked his way over to the red head's desk, his feet feeling kind of heavy as he gets closer. Be cool Vinnie, just do it. "Hey Reg." His voice called out suddenly, the rest of his body slowly just going with the flow. Reggie turned his head and smiled up at his friend. "Hey there Vinnie. You usually are gone by now, is Mr. Schneider Sir seeing you after class again?" He asked as he puts his books away in his bag. Vinnie smiles warmly, he enjoys Reggie's voice. The way his small lisp happens between the small gap of the front of his teeth. The way his voice cracks sometimes in the right moments. Just generally how comforting it is...

The vampire quickly shook his head when he finally notices Reggie is standing up and looking at him with cocoa brown eyes that warm up Vinnie's dead chest, "No no. I just wanted to know...if...um...i-if you don't mind me asking...I uh..." "Yes Vinnie?" Reggie pressed on. Honestly, it's like he knows what he's doing to me. Vinnie took a gulp from his dry mouth before he spoke a retry, "I just wanted to know...if...if...well...if you're free this weekend? Maybe...we could...go out?" He didn't know if he sounded needy or not but he didn't care, he finally said it!

Reggie blinked a few times before replying, "Of course we can hang out Vin. We often times do already." "No, Reggie, I meant...go out...like a...date...?" Vinnie was so scared to look at Reggie in the face yet he has to in order to watch his reaction. And boy was it a reaction... His cute wolf ears were perked down in a way his shyness shows, hard to tell but behind that fur his cheeks were very rosey and red, just looking at him gave Vinnie so much heat on his face he for sure thought he was going to die.

~ ~ ~

Vinnie chuckled softly when Reggie's face on that day came to mind.

Well, yeah, the reply was a day late but nevertheless he said yes. And the day has finally came.

Vinnie soon landed at Reggie's place, a pretty big home of four stories with a even bigger yard surrounded it of 6 aches each side. He knew Reggie's family owned a big home for such a big family but he honestly wasn't expecting something so... human dream life. A white picket fence wrapping around the areas of land, green grass in perfect height, the house painted in a nice paint of soft blue with the windows having a white coat to the edges, a cute porch sticking out from the big dark brown oak made front door, and to fit so perfectly a nice little porch swing with a small coffee table. In all honesty neither Vinnie nor Reggie been to each others' houses despite being friends for years. Always staying at the dorms the school gave them for half the week.

The vampire slowly made his way to the porch and gently pulled the rope that rings the door bell loudly it echos around him and to the forest not far from the house itself. He tripled checked in his head the plans of the date as he waits a few seconds before the door opened and Reggie's head popped into view. "Hey Vinnie." Reggie said with a smile and opened the door already for him to step out. "Hey there Reg-" Vinnie nearly chocked on his words upon seeing Reggie. He wasn't wearing anything out of his comfort zone but something Vinnie was expecting obviously... Let alone something his heart was ready for. There standing in front of him with the shine of the afternoon sun glimmering a special effect through the tree leafs Reggie wearing a typical white button-down shirt and well ironed dress pants but wears also a well knitted beige and blood red pattern pullover sweater vest and a black Letterman jacket with a big red R stitched to his chest's right side, his hair combed in a messy side bangs style to the left side of his face. Honestly, Vinnie doesn't know if this was more cute or sexy and he was pretty scared of both. "I-I could change if you want..." Reggie stated, snapping Vinnie out of his daze to realize he's been staring holes into the poor werewolf. "No no you're okay Reg. Just uh...caught me off guard is all. It's cool." Vinnie spoke up with his hands up in defense.

Reggie giggles some, causes Vinnie's undead heart to for sure jumble in beats like a drum.

The first stop of this little date for the two monsters was a nice little fly over the town to the date's main destination. Reggie clings to Vinnie from behind, his face so close to his their cheeks are barely touching softly, his eyes watching the town below them. "Gee Vinnie, this is beautiful." He whispered but Vinnie heard it very well, his warm breath gently dancing across Vinnie's ear, his cheeks warming up in a soft shade of pink, a smile appearing on the vampire's lips. If anything, if he had a chance to say it, Reggie was the most beautiful thing to Vinnie's eyes. Though as a sad as it had pained him he knew he would crash into something if he doesn't focus.

His eyes scanned around the area before carefully landing in front of a cafe looking place. Reggie looked around the place when he climbed down from the vampire's back as he tucked in his wings. "Um... Vinnie." Reggie mumbled softly as he dragged his feet closer to Vinnie. Vinnie let out a hum, "Yeah Reg?" "Correct me if I'm wrong but this is a human cafe is it not?" Indeed it was. "Yeah. I figured to have a nice bite here for a change." "True it's just... don't you rather want to go to Ms. White's Diner? It's one of your favorites right?" Vinnie had to fight back the urge of going to his favorite 50's diner and share a monster shake with Reggie, he had a plan and he's sticking to it. He gently takes his paw and said, "This is just as good Reg, promise. Plus they serve your favorite here. Trust me." Reggie looked at the place and at Vinnie, seemed to be small on numbers of humans... So it could be okay right?

The two monsters entered the cafe and walked it's way to a table right in the center. The place was nice, clean, quiet, cute, and had a nice nature aesthetic with potted plants hanging from the ceiling and the smell of coffee and tea with some sweets filling your sense of smell. "This place is nice." Reggie said, his eyes focused on every little detail around him. The V-Man couldn't help but smile proudly, the date's going so well so far.

A waiter walks over to their table with a notepad and spoke to the two teenage monsters, "Afternoon gentlemen. What can I get you for drinks?" Vinnie opened the menu. "I'd like a black coffee with a side of milk creamer." The waiter nodded and looked at Reggie waiting for his answer. The werewolf quietly looked through the menu, his eyes widening like space saucers. "O-Oh my...Um...w-water would be fine..." The waiter wrote the orders down before hurrying to the back. Reggie looked at Vinnie with a raised brow, "This place is expensive Vinnie. They don't even serve your favorite drinks here. And I think you need it, you look ill..."

Vinnie knew Reggie was worried, he can hear it in his voice, but he can't simply explain it... Since the night before last he hasn't had a drop of blood to nibble a sip from due to how stressed and nervous he was getting over asking Reggie out and planning out this perfect date. Black coffee was the best he could get to that bitter goodness. And if not, the creamer would do the trick. Still, he knew he can't say all that to Reggie, not to seem not cool in front of his crush but also because he doesn't want the werewolf to feel bad or blame himself. Instead he just smiles his traditional smile and leaned back in his chair as he coats his voice with soothing calmness, "It's fine Reg. Everything fine actually. I just... had a big batch during breakfast and need the coffee here is good as I'm told. Plus, the money, don't worry. I got it covered." He finishes with a wink and another smile which caused Reggie's shoulders to calm down slightly.

After a few more seconds the waiter returned with their drinks and a notepad still in hand, "Here is your black coffee with a side of milk creamer and your glass of water sirs. May I interest you into something to eat?" Vinnie glances at the man's meaty neck and silently licked his fang out of sights, his brain wracking him inside his skull to try and not accept the urge to chomp down onto that neck and drink up. His hand quickly grabbed the coffee cup as soon as it was set and took a big gulp of it. Bitter. Not as bitter but still helps a little. He thought, feeling his nerves calm down a bit more. He glances over at Reggie and smiles, "Why don't you order first? I'll follow after." Reggie fixes his glasses and looked over the menu, a few times his eyes peeking at Vinnie as if asking for his help. "G-Gee...there's a lot of good options... Um..." He pondered out loud, Vinnie could see the human tapping his pen in a annoyance type manner. He bite down on his bottom lip some to fight back his new urge to range his neck. Before the urge could happen for real, Reggie's voice rang out to Vinnie's ears, "I-I guess I can have the Pea & Carrot Soup with the Greek Salad as the side?" "And you sir?" Vinnie had to remember how to talk before he took a quick glance at the menu before blurting out his order, "I'd like a French Onion Soup." And like before the man walked away after writing the orders down.

Vinnie noticed Reggie seemed more awkward and fidgety then his usual form. "Everything alright Reg?" Vinnie asked, his voice truly worried. He truly is worried for Reggie. Maybe he caught that waiter's rudeness towards them because of their race? Maybe it's the fact it's clearly two boys out doing things beyond friends? The vampire's head is just about to explode over the thoughts on what could be wrong with his Reggie- My Reggie? Vinnie thought of having Reggie of his very own before... I mean it did sound nice to him but would Reggie be down to being...

Reggie softly shook his head with a mumbled, "It's nothing, really..." But Vinnie knew something's been bothering his pal. Maybe... Vinnie felt sick thinking this, Maybe he's not comfortable being on a date with me... Before he knew it the food had arrived but the two didn't seem in the mood to enjoy it... Vinnie gulped down the rest of his coffee and stared down at his dish.

Great, my nerves are all over the place now and Reggie ain't having a good time... He thought as he watched Reggie gently nibble on his soup and salad, the two barely having one or two small conversations. This date is going terrible...

The two left the cafe quietly and quickly after paying for the bill. The two were still pretty silent. Reggie broke this awkward pause in the air with a smile, "The food was pretty good Vinnie." Vinnie doesn't reply. "Vinnie..?" Suddenly, the second monster on this date let out a groan like sigh before slumping his body down a grass area in the side walk, "That stupid waiter! 50 bucks and all he had to do is make it nice!"

Reggie tilt his head at this and quietly asked, "What do you mean...?" There was a pause when Vinnie looked away with no answer, causing it to click to the smarter of the two. "Vinnie Stoker, did you pay a human waiter for our date?" Vinnie sighed, "Not just paid Reggie, I paid the guy $50 to hold off any other reservations so it can be just us... I know you don't like really crowded places but that guy ruined it. I wasted 50 from my allowance just to have a guy be rude to you." Vinnie covered his face with his palms. "I'm sorry Reg...I really am..." Surprising Vinnie, Reggie grabbed his hand and pulls him up before guiding him somewhere.

"Hey Reg, where we going?" He asked, but his question fell on deaf ears as the werewolf still guided him silently. Suddenly the vampire began to feel a new kind of nervous. Was Reggie mad? Was he going to yell at him for bribing a human? Does he know he hasn't been drinking his daily sips of blood? He felt sick at the ideas of any of those being true and he blew this date... His one chance... And he blew it major time... There might not even be a second chance in this... "Look Reg..." Vinnie started, hanging his head low in shame. Reggie stopped him, "You didn't have to do any of that Vinnie. I would be perfectly fine going to any place we usual go." Vinnie did not want this date to be ruined. He did not want his friendship to be tainted. All Vinnie wanted to do was do what he planned, even if it was sudden...

"I like you Reggie!"

Reggie stopped suddenly and whipped his head around so fast he must've felt dizzy. No turning back now huh? Vinnie thought, taking a deep breath in, "I've always liked you Reg... And I mean really like you... Like...Like... I always get happy in the mornings because I get a chance to be near you at school, it's the only reason why I don't ditch as often. And when you're not there I feel sad...so sad I feel sick... I often re-read the messages we send back and forth after school because I miss talking to you that much... A-And that time when I was running for School President and you were helping me... Reggie, I felt so happy just being around you...seeing you so happy at what you were doing... I know this isn't stuff you want to hear instead of a apology...but I swear to you it's truer then true Reggie... I really like you... I've liked you for so long...I don't know when but I know when I figured it out... when you were fallin from the sky and I was running to you... All that's been runnin' around my head was "I can't let him go"... Reggie... you matter to me so much the idea of you not here with me is killing me..."

Vinnie was so scared to look up at his friend, scared he made it worst... "I just...I know this date ended up bad... but I-" Vinnie's words were cut short when he lifted his head to finally face his nerves, quickly his lips were covered by the soft fur of Reggie's lips. The teen vampire felt his undead heart beat for miles and miles as every second slowly passes by between them, his eyes widen more then the usual wide but slowly his body began to melt by the warmth of Reggie's lips and they slowly blinked to a close while his lips push pressure back into the kiss.

The kiss lasted about a extra minute before the two pulled away, Vinnie's ears catching a soft small puppy like whine coming from deep back within Reggie's neck. "You like my lips that much Reg?" Vinne asked with a tease in his voice, smiling more when see that same expression of bashfulness Vinnie witness when he asked Reggie out in the first place. "Okay, I'm sorry... does...this mean you like me too...?" He asked, hopeful of his words being a positive. Reggie giggles softly, "Of course it means I like you Vinnie... Why else would I agree to go on a date and kiss you?" Vinnie felt stupid asking such a obvious question. "And...why else would I do this?" After Reggie said that, he guided Vinnie again towards a secret spot. A nice little isolated hill spot overlooking the entire town and beach. Reggie...planned this? The vampire looked at Reggie in disbelief, now noticing the blush fur on his cheeks. "I... I like you too Vinnie... A lot... I've always had felt it too but that day when you risked everything just for me was when I realize it was more then a simple crush... And I wanted to show you how I felt since then...but I was too chicken to even bring it up in conversation... So, when you asked me out, I was nervous that I might miss my shot...so..." "So you ended up setting this up?" Reggie nodded some, his bangs sweeping over his warm brown eyes in a cute shy manner.

Vinnie smiles softly and wrapped his arms around Reggie's frame, his lips lightly touching a small peck on his cheek. Sure, this wasn't the date I had planned... Reggie giggles and gently sat on the grass, Vinnie following after. The sun was just about going darker as the stars began to appear above them like candles they used to have lit from their old fears of the unknown... Vinnie could help but smile when seeing Reggie's happy face when he cuddles into him. But I honestly couldn't ask for anything better.

#gravedale high #vinnie stoker #reggie moonshroud #vinnie/reggie #reggie/vinnie #vampire boyfriend #werewolf boyfriend #fanfic #ao3 fanfic

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